#aubrey protector

[helianthusamoenus]

It’s baffling when I realize that the shadow was me all along. The angry voice who wants to see my loved ones suffer so they knew what I went through, the fearful voice who shrieks whenever I dare to do something, the voice who sneers at the minimal demonstration of needing space, begging to not be forgotten or abandoned, wasn’t really a shadow who loomed with its one eye watching me. She was a teenager, enraged version of myself wanting to escape, run and make justice for all the things she repressed her anger for. She’s the one who screams at anyone daring to not reply to my texts, the one who has no patience left, who is sobbing to grab someone’s hand. It’s shocking to let the ‘you’re your own worst enemy’ thought really, really sink in and internalize it. It’s hard to accept that I’m trying to make amends with her, the one who wants me to take revenge on everything and everyone for her cruel stories. She fights with me, and I don’t want to relent, but isn’t it heartbreaking that the darkest part and the most toxic side of oneself has to fight with you sometimes in order to live instead of surviving?

[casketears]

thinking fondly again of my unfinished omori au fic where mari has just died, and aubrey has been so thoroughly ditched by kel and hero, and sunny hasn't left his house in weeks, and aubrey (because naturally it all comes back to aubrey) is just so angry all the time but she doesn't know where to put it, so she tries to distract herself; make things normal again by going over to basil's house at least, but even that doesn't work because the fucking freak has scribbled over all of their shared memories. and she's so angry, and she's so hurt, and basil doesn't even have an explanation- he's just staring at her helplessly, like it's not even his fault when they both know it is, and she's just so fucking angry, and without even knowing it she's reeling her fist back and - yeah. she makes contact. and basil's nose is broken, probably, and there's thick blood pouring out of it, but when he turns his head again to face her it's not to match the stunned horror that she herself feels. it's to let her do it again. and anyway this au is called 'aubrey semi privately uses basil as a punching bag to cope, and he is worryingly okay with it', more at 6

[mus-xpart-a]

some quick sketches i did. for an omori x evangelion crossover 😼👍

[pine-guards-chosen-one]

Ilia has put the finishing touches on her most important drawing project! She’s now ready to show everyone!

"You drew this? It looks amazing!" Duck said smiling at her. He scooped her up in one arm, unable to stop smiling at how precious this was. "Let's go show everybody you're awesome picture~"

He takes her around the lodge, getting everyone's reactions.

"Your formidable art skills are wonderful, little one. This is my new favorite."

"Whoa, that's so cute! You even got Iggy in there too!"

"Aw, that's very sweet Ilia."

"I look pretty good there, huh?" he says with a laugh.

"Oh righteous~! You even got my snow gear in there, that's so cool!"

"That's a fine drawin' darlin'. Good job."

"Right on, little frog. Keep drawing and you'll be even better than me some day~"

[tstimacstumblinfuntime]

February Book Roundup

The Yellow Admiral (”Aubrey & Maturin”, book 18) by Patrick O’Brian, 1996  ★★★☆☆

I am so, so close to the end of this series and I still can’t figure them out. The characters are incredibly textured and the setting meticulously researched. I will say, one of my favorite things about any book set in this time and place is how the research leaves the authors with very... robust opinions about politics that are now settled by a hundred years or more. In this case that subject is the enclosure of village commons. Also in this book: A look at what boxing used to be like, Stephen is poor again, Jack is in trouble with his superiors again, and the Aubreys’ marriage is on the rocks again. This one wasn’t a winner, gang, but at this point I’m in much too deep to back out. Especially since I’m still having a not inconsiderable amount of fun. No recommendation on this one, even for people who want to read the books episodically. This isn’t any kind of a place to start.

Nine Liars (”Truly Devious), book 5) by Maureen Johnson, 2022 ★★★★★

I love Johnson’s Stevie Bell mysteries and that hasn’t changed with this book. This one finds the gang venturing to London for the dual purposes of Doing A Culture and giving Stevie a chance to make out with her boyfriend. But because this is a series of detective stories, they soon find themselves involved in a stately country house double ax murder cold case from the 1990s (the time period apparently chosen to make my bones specifically crumble to dust) and a mysterious disappearance in the current day. This book contains, in no particular order: A parlor scene on a Ferris wheel, a sex-hoody, a Jack the Ripper tour that fails to impress, and a big orange cat who is stupid. I love these books and recommend them highly to any fans of Weird Little Guy detective fiction. After the first three books the cases become episodic, but the teen drama is very serialized; so this is another one where I wouldn’t advise jumping in at the middle. Go back and read them from the start, because the earlier books are also very much worth your time. As a final note: Johnson is, like, really good at writing kissing. 

The Protector’s War (”A Novel of the Change”, book 2) by S. M. Stirling, 2006   ★★★★☆

The first book in this series left me rather cold, so this one was facing an uphill battle. The general idea of the setting is something changed (or even Changed, if you’re nasty) the laws of physics on Earth to make gunpowder, internal combustion, and electricity not work anymore. This causes a moderate apocalypse and people are forced to revert to preindustrial agriculturalism to survive, which everyone just assumes means FUDALISM. The first book was set right as that crisis gets rolling and my reaction probably wasn’t completely fair. It is hard to enjoy a fictional apocalypse while in the midst of a nonfiction one, I suppose. But now we’re almost a decade after the end of the world and we’re settling into something that wouldn’t be inaccurately described as Game of Thrones in the Pacific Northwest, but the works of Tolkien are textual instead of sub/meta-textual. Protector’s War convinced me to stick out the series for at least one more book, but hasn’t pushed me to the point that I’d recommend it quite yet. If you do decide to pick up the first book, Dies the Fire, I do need to throw up a content warning for some pretty rough sexual violence, though it is very well signposted in the text. There’s also a not inconsiderable amount of cannibalism, but that’s the end of the world for you.

The Hundred Days (”Aubrey & Maturin”, book 19) by Patrick O’Brian 1998  ★★★☆☆

First, let me say, nobody is more upset than me by the fact that fully half the books on this list are Napoleonic naval adventures. That’s just the way things go when books are coming from the library, more or less at random. In any case, this one is set during the Emperor’s escape from Elba and sees Jack and Stephen in the Mediterranean on a mission to keep a force of Muslim mercenaries from throwing in on the side of Napoleon and preventing the allies from joining forces by disrupting a shipment of gold needed to pay the mercenaries. (That run-on sentence is almost exactly what it feels like to read the book.) A bit contrived, but after 19 of these books, I’ll welcome anything with an honest to god plot with an act structure and everything. You can feel the series winding down in this one. Death is a highly present theme, with Stephen’s wife and Jack’s mother-in-law already in the ground when the book opens and with Algiers going through something like four leaders in fewer chapters. I don’t know if O’Brian knew how little time he had left, but this is the last of these Napoleonic naval adventures to actually take place during the Napoleonic wars. After this, there’s just one complete novel left in the series. By now, you know the drill: A book this deep in a series isn’t getting a recommendation. But if you absolutely insist, there’s worse places to start this series.

By the Numbers:

Total Books: 4

Genre: Historical Fiction (2), Science Fiction (1), Detective Fiction (1)

Decades: 1990s (2), 2000s (1), 2020s (1)

Author Stats: Women (1, 25%), POC: 0 (0%), Queer Authors: 0 (0%), Living Authors (2, 50%)

Another four book month. I was really hoping to finish The World We Make this month, but couldn’t wrap it up before the library needed it back, so that’s another month with no POC authors. Looking at the books on deck for March, that probably won’t change anytime soon. 

At least most of next month’s books should be by women. I do enjoy books by men from time to time, but the constant barrage of lads, lads, lads is becoming a bit tedious. 

Have you read any of these? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. But please don’t tell me what to read next. I have so may books to read, gang. Please don’t stack that tower any higher, I’m begging you.

[lilac-gold]

thinking about how one of kel's first lines is "man, aubrey always gets what she wants". thinking about how aubrey wanted to go see sweetheart's show for hearts, so hero took them all to sweetheart's show for hearts. thinking about how aubrey told molly not to touch omori, and she didn't again.

thinking about how all aubrey wanted was to keep her friend group together. thinking about how aubrey's clothes are too big in headspace, she only has one toy and in the real world, her house is a tip with her room almost bare. thinking about how aubrey wanted to keep the photos of mari and throw the rest in the bin, and how she put them back in the album after kel picked it out of the trash.

thinking about how sunny viewed her as a protector of his as a kid, someone who'd look for for him, and how the hooligans trust her to lead and look out for them, and how hero and mari were like older siblings to her when she was younger, and how aubrey's parents didn't look out for her. thinking about how aubrey is angry and insulted and violent and vengeful, and how she wants the girl she knew as a sister to come back. thinking about how she believes she wasn't enough for her old friends, for anyone. thinking about how little possessions she has, how she pushes away people who care about her, how she's viewed as a "bad kid" by the residents of faraway.

want is such a big theme with aubrey. in headspace, every one of hers is fulfilled. in the real world, we see almost none being.

[sunday-good-enough]

hey guess what

EVERYONE LIVES AU THATS WHAT

I'm calling this the 'roof au' because sunny. well. you can guess

-the premise of this au is that sunny, overwhelmed by mari, his parents, and his own expectations attempts suicide by jumping off the roof of his house, similar to the bad end

-he survives of course, leaving him paralyzed from the waist down and blind in one eye

-mari is, expectedly, DISTRAUGHT. She hates herself at first for not noticing and for pressuring him, but eventually channels it into making sure sunny never gets hurt Ever Again

-sunny, similar to the canonverse where he forced himself to forget about the incident, forgets that the accident was a suicide attempt. If you ask him, there was an accident that left him paralyzed and that's it

-hes really pissed because everyone, ESPECIALLY mari, seems to be treating him like hes about to die or smth

-since he doesnt remember the whole suicide thing, he thinks its because hes disabled and that makes him really, really annoyed

-with mari home from college for summer and more overprotective than ever, sunny feels almost suffocated

-the story starts when sunny overhears a conversation between aubrey and mari that suggests his accident may not have been an accident, leaving sunny confused

-he starts to realize that theres gaps in his memory and things that dont add up, so he tries to figure out through his friends and his own headspace what ACTUALLY happened

-headspace still exists, tho its more of a place for sunny to have fun adventures with his friends that he wouldnt be able to have in the real world

-in headspace, sunny can still walk, and instead of being confined to the picnic blanket, mari joins his party and is able to fight (though, like hero, her skills are less attack focused and theyre able to buff her friends stats, and theyre usually music focused), though basil still sits on the picnic blanket since he doesnt like to fight

-omori is a seperate entity from sunny, sort of like an imaginary friend. he protects basil at the picnic blanket (and sunny from the truth) sunny has had him as an imaginary friend since he was very little in this au, with omori often comforting him (even more so before his attempt, due to the stress he was under)

-its important to note that sunny is no longer suicidal, since he doesnt remember a reason to be. he woke up one day and completely forgot, so mari just went along with it, believing it was better for his mental health

-its equally important to note that like kel, basil does not think sunny attempted suicide. he believes that mari PUSHED him, and it was all her fault, so he refuses to talk to her

(edit cuz i forgot to add this) the ships in this fic are:

rosemari: very much an old married couple, more distant than they used to be because of mari spending so much time worrying about sunny

suntan: idiots in love. they both have a crush on the other but they're way too obvious to notice

cotton candy: 'just got into a relationship,' lots of awkward handholding and kisses. sunshine + sunshine protector. aubrey LOVES gushing about kim, mostly to Sunny cause Kel makes fun of her, Hero keeps telling her to be careful, and Mari's never home. Kim tried making a bracelet for Aubrey once and majorly fucked it up, but she kept it as a keychain

sunflower: onesided, Basil mistaking deep platonic love for a crush

thanks for reading! my rainy au is more of my main au and this one doesnt have a fic (yet) lol

[sirenspells]

Last night I was thinking about what Crafts each of the omori main cast would specialize in if they were part of the ISAT universe so here are my thoughts (with some input from a friend)

Sunny would definitely be Piercing Craft

Mari would be Creative Craft, but she's like Odile where she learns how to use other kinds of Craft, including the other two main ones. Something something perfectionism

Both Kel and Aubrey would be Protector Craft

Hero would be a similar deal to Mari where he's Creative Craft but he learned how to use other kinds. I think he would also specialize in Healing Craft, like Mirabelle. Me and my friend were kinda divided though, we think Protector Craft could also fit for him

I thought Basil would be Piercing Craft (mostly cause gardening shears moment hehe) and my friend thought Creative Craft, so then he had the idea of Basil being dual Piercing/Creative Craft which I like

[starburstsystem]

ミ 𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐘𝐍 𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎 🫀 ˎˊ˗

‿ ‿‿̩͙‿. ⋆⋅༺ ⋆⋅₊ ◯ ₊⋅⋆ ༻ ⋆⋅. ‿̩͙‿‿‿

NAME: Robyn/Vee

NICKNAME(S): Ro, Rob, Robbie, Moons

AGE: 18 (ages with the body)

GENDER: trans agender

PRONOUNS: any; they/them, he/him, she/her, ze/zem

trying out -> spook/spooks/spookself, howl/howls/howlself

ORIENTATION: bisexual, aro-ace spectrum

‿ ‿‿̩͙‿. ⋆⋅༺ ⋆⋅₊ ◯ ₊⋅⋆ ༻ ⋆⋅. ‿̩͙‿‿‿

SPECIES: human

ROLES: host, protector, gatekeeper, older sibling alter, trauma holder

TYPE: entomate

SOURCE(S): brain-made

‿ ‿‿̩͙‿. ⋆⋅༺ ⋆⋅₊ ◯ ₊⋅⋆ ༻ ⋆⋅. ‿̩͙‿‿‿

BOUNDARIES:

-> (soon to be) taken, no flirting 👎👎

-> don't be a weirdo

♡ LIKES: dogs, rats, insects (cicadias, comet moths, tarantulas, and millipedes), fruits (strawberries and pomegranates), art and music, nature, animals, bones, horror, stars and space, video games (Sally Face, Minecraft, FNAF, Leathal Company, etc), alternative style (punk, goth and emo mostly), cereal (comfort food), iced coffee, purple, black, wine red, and green colors, TV shows (especially animated)

X DISLIKES: unexpected loud noises, bigoted authority figures, cruel and immoral people, peanuts, public swimming pools

FAVORITE SONGS:

- Vampire Empire • Big Theif

- Soup Song • Nep

- Chicken Noodle • Small Crush

- I Don't Bite • The Aubreys

- A Complete List of Fears Ages 5-28 (Approx) • The Yellow Dress

- Constellations • The Oh Hellos

- Dread In My Heart • Mother Mother

- It's Alright • Mother Mother

- Kyoto • Phoebe Bridgers

- Brave As A Noun • AJJ

- Be Nice To Me • The Front Bottoms

- Sparks • Coldplay

- I Am • Foot Ox

- Saint Bernard • Lincoln

EXTRA:

(ALL ART/PHOTOS GO TO THIER RESPECTED OWNERS!! I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE!! I AM MERELY ADDING THESE TO BETTER SHOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT MY IDENTITY AS AN ALTER)

[brisksunrise]

Roy was a young man living in 1950′s America, embodying the life of a greaser as he roved around amidst a motorcycle gang causing a variety of trouble. To him, it didn’t matter what he did as long as he could ‘live free as the wind’. This all eventually came to a halt when he managed to steal the girlfriend of a rival gang, leading to some rather... painful consequences. Though next Roy knew, he would end up Toonekai’d into a vastly new role and setting.

 ‘Charlotte Desiree Fulbright’ was a Keyroid. Keyroids were a classification of advanced robots that became a popular phenomena in the world. Robots that each possessed a key that bestowed a variety of information, talents, and capabilities upon them. The keys themselves were also swappable.

Charlotte was one such Keyroid, though much more advanced and built in an attempt by her creator, an elderly woman by the name of Sharon Fulbright, to act as a hero and protector of those in need. Her creator, however, was one day kidnapped, but not before managing to hide Charlotte. The Keyroid would later be discovered by Sharon’s family, who would take her in, all the while continuing to search for the whereabouts of Sharon. 

Charlotte possessed an innumerable amount of gadgets, tools, and capabilities hidden within her body, which she could call upon whenever needed. She lived her day-to-day life as a maid serving dutifully serving the Fulbright family. However, when needed, she would leap into action to save others from all manner of danger. 

Charlotte typically has enough energy to get through an entire day before going into ‘sleep mode’, even when dealing with heroics. However, the more intensive things get, the more energy is used up until she is relying on some backup energy that only allows for basic movement. Once in ‘sleep mode’, she requires more winding up.

As Charlotte was formerly Roy, she can be quite outspoken and forceful in regards to matters while still being loyal to the Fulbrights, especially when it came to the young Aubrey 

[fervency-if]

Does the ROs have any phobia? I have katsaridaphobia myself... Thank God my cat is such a good Hunter. Did you have any, Niko?

Aw, your cat is your sweet little protector! As for myself, I'm not exactly great with heights, they always make me a bit unsteady.

I don't think that the Physician has any particular phobias.

Aubrey has nosophobia.

I'm not entirely sure about Vesa.

Narciso has emetophobia. Also, even though he hasn't got katsaridaphobia, he would definitely agree with you that roaches are nasty - he certainly has a strong aversion towards them.

Roswhen has claustrophobia.

Elan has social phobia.

[janethealien]

uhm.

ok Jane au explanation time

warnings btw!! uhm both spoilers and also a lot of messed up shit!!!

its a mari lives au!!! five years after recital specifically:3 mari apologizes for not recognizing sunny's struggling since kel notices sunny's behavior beforehand, and tells hero, who in turn goes to talk to mari about it:p they make up and everything goes great!! though afterwards sunny only does recitals with mari occasionally and focuses on other important stuff

aubrey and basil live together

ships are suntan/sunkel, cotton candy/kimbrey, roselily/heromari!!

ok so basically jasper info (i remake because old looked kinda ugly,,,)

jasper is 18 like sunny, aubrey, basil and kel are

chatty when she's excited, a little clingy too around people she likes. uh though she is very reclusive and quiet because she lacks social skills:v is also terrible at expressing her feelings, and talks awkwardly,,

at first glance, she seems very normal and kel meets her and tries to get her to open up more cause she's lonely and shy. this obviously works and she is introduced to the rest of the gang

relationships:

aubrey: they get along, though aubrey is initially uninterested, she gets used to her!! jasper sees her as a sort of sister figure, but probably won't admit it,,,

basil: neutral relationship,, basil is a bit too nervous to warm up so easily, but he does like her energy:3 jasper does not mind him at all but she really isn't interested either,,,,,

hero: pretty strong obviously!! both being kel's brother and his general vibes, jasper is very drawn to him:) hero also doesn't mind her either, and is glad she's opening up

(jane lore for context... main characters are ALWAYS off-put by her because of literal main character energy.. no matter how hard she disguises herself or changes her personality, they are always unsettled by her and will not trust her ass)

sunny: wants to be her friend because of how similar they are, but is nervous and uncomfortable.. jasper doesn't really pay attention to him however, choosing to ignore him most of the time

mari: really seems to like jasper, and tries to encourage sunny to talk to her. jasper also seems to not be as interested in her, but she doesn't mind!! she's also just happy to see her happy

DISCLAIMER!! :( : please note I am not trying to support or glorify the behaviour that jasper/jane has towards anyone, but specifically towards kel!! she is NOT supposed to be redeemable or forgiven>:(

kel: likes her a lot!! not over sunny ofc, but she is very talkative to him and excited 24/7!! jasper is pretty much attached to him, she clings to him a little too much bc she loves him,,

jane: is jaspers real form. obsessed with kel and wants him all to herself, and loves to torture people for her own amusement. she used to be the sweetest demigod created by the gods themselves when the universe was first created, but after a while she got bored. she went completely rogue and started wreaking havoc on humanity.

she was eventually stopped, but after some people released her, she came back.

general note: nerfed version of the real jane!!! she isn't self aware and can't teleport or manipulate reality!! she also isn't immortal and can be killed with a lot of effort

omori: lives in whitespace, acts as sunny's protector. he's also a demigod, living only in dreams but extremely powerful. he came from the first ancestor of sunny and mari's family, being gifted to stop HER from destroying humanity, but has had no need for his powers since SHE was locked away. though after seeing HER again, he's immediately ready to act.

START OF PLOT!!!

sunny is in whitespace with omori. they don't do much, but the silence is comfortable ... though they both notice something in the vast whiteness...

... there's SOMEONE in the distance.

they disappear before the two can inspect further.

whoever it was, they leave him awake in a cold sweat.

who was that?

kel meets jasper, he has seen her around a few times but she has always been alone and away from everyone. so he decides she needs a friend, as he feels bad for her. jasper immediately warms up to him, and she is excited to have a friend.

jasper is slowly introduced to the rest of the gang, which also includes the Hooligans because of aubrey. almost everyone seems to like her so far, but she is obviously more attached to kel if anything. kel didn't seem to mind too much though, seeing it as an improvement in her mood. sunny is more uncomfortable if anything. he feels bad and a bit selfish for it, but he just can't bring himself to talk to her. he just observes her behaviour for now, hoping that he's just paranoid.

over the span of a few weeks, stuff begins to happen.

(that is the end for now yayayayaya!!!)

[i-love-yoi]

It's morning again and I'm writing all this before school again. Sorry if it's not enough.

TW: Yandere, romantic (relationship), age has been changed to consent age for relationships, fighting, addiction.

General yandere HCs with Dream Kel

• Well, Kel himself is very active.

•So you will not sit in the same place.

•He just won't let it happen.

• He wants to be always with you, always.

• Therefore, if he goes somewhere, he will take you with him anyway.

•He may not take you only in fights, well, that's all.

•He wants to protect you.

• He doesn't want you to get hurt, whether physically or mentally.

•He doesn't want it.

• He doesn't want you to get hurt.

• Therefore, he does not take you into fights.

• But if you are in a fight, then he will make every effort, so long as you are not badly injured.

•Maybe even ask dream Aubrey to use counterattacks.

•But, this is unlikely, as he is too proud and boastful.

• He would consider that he himself can protect you, without any help.

• And then he will be sad or angry because he did not succeed.

•If you get hurt, he will ask his brother to heal you or use food from his pocket.

•He likes to be your protector.

• So his pride only grows stronger.

•Like, that's what a good guy he is, he protects you, won't you love him then?

•Of course you will! He's better than the rest, right?

• Also, I think that he would not understand that he is in love with you.

• He would think that these are simple friendly feelings.

•After all, friends should protect each other, right?

•But damn, that's too obvious.

• Therefore, I do not know how you saw it, if almost every second rabbit sees it, if not every one.

• I think that his brother Hero, Mari, or, in the end, Aubrey, would help him understand his feelings.

• And only when he is aware of his feelings, the dependence will increase.

• For him, this is the first time, the first experience, so exciting.

• He would be with you much more.

•More affection and happiness just from your presence.

•And also more fights for your heart.

• Dream Kel is too hyperactive and emotional.

• And also loving to argue.

• He will always insist on his own, no matter what.

• We see this in their frequent fights with Aubrey.

• And of course he will not understand that he is jealous, but he will still go into a fight, it doesn’t even matter with whom.

• The main thing is that he will beat your heart and he will only have your affection.

•But he still hates kissing.

[queenclaudiabrown]

She'll Be Coming With Us | Cast

Lucy Brown as CLAUDIA BROWN

the mediator

“I suppose I owe it to the taxpayer to do more than sit in my room and suck the minibar dry.”

Douglas Henshall as PROFESSOR NICK CUTTER

the maverick expert

“Some force out there ripped the boundaries of space and time to shreds….  Believe me, it’s very, very far from over.”

Ben Miller as SIR JAMES LESTER

the big boss

“I don’t like anyone to whom the adjective ‘maverick’ might be applied.”

Juliet Aubrey as HELEN CUTTER

the time traveler

“All this urban living has made human beings such a lazy animals.”

Mark Wakeling as CAPTAIN TOM RYAN

the protector

“Shoot to kill.  That makes a refreshing change- I was beginning to feel like a social worker.”

Hannah Spearritt as ABIGAIL ‘ABBY’ MAITLAND

the zookeeper

“Look at the way we treat animals now….  Every day, a new species disappears.  What would people do to creatures they don't understand?”

James Murray as STEPHEN HART

the mighty hunter

“Pick on someone your own size.”

Andrew-Lee Potts as CONNOR TEMPLE

the brilliant boy

“I don’t suppose you’d consider giving me a cool nickname, would you?”

Alexandra Afryea as LORRAINE WICKES

the sassy assistant

“I got to where I am by shutting my mouth when I had to, but swearing and shouting when the occasion called for it.”

WITH:

Uncredited Actor as LIEUTENANT JOE REYNOLDS

Uncredited Actor as CORPORAL TODD O’DONNELL

Uncredited Actor as LIEUTENANT DANIEL WILLIAMS

Uncredited Actor as CORPORAL CALVIN BURANELLI

Adam G. Goodwin as CORPORAL COLIN GOODWIN

AND:

additional cast to be added as they appear

@witchofthemidlands @whispers-of-gallifrey @chocolatesawfish @thegingergal @whatkindofnameisvolta

[lilac-gold]

An analysis of Hero's healing, his position as an older brother and his relationships with Aubrey and Kel

Hero's healing:

I love exploring all the links between Headspace and the real world, and today, another's been on my mind. Hero is a healer in HS, but he heals and attacks through his food & frying pan; his position in the team utilises his strengths and passions, those being medicine and cooking. And in one of the flashbacks in Memory Lane, Hero asks Sunny if he should be a doctor or a cook when he's an adult. He personally wants to be the latter- that's why cooking is embedded so heavily into each of his skills in HS- but his parents want him to be the former.

Hero's a healer because that's what's necessary, what's expected of him, what he's good at. He heals through his food because that's what he likes making, trying his best to turn his strong suit into something he loves. Mari wanted him to be a cook, but after she died, Hero couldn't face that career. Instead, he did what his parents wanted, going to medical school. He's smart, and does well at it, but it's not something that he enjoys quite as much as he does cooking.

In Headspace, there are no parents: not Sunny's, not Aubrey's, nor Basil's, and not Hero's (and Kel's). But there is Mari, the opposite of in the real world. And yet, Hero's talent for healing and career as a doctor is still embedded into his fighting skills, even without any influence from a parental figure in HS since he has no parent there to take advice from. There's only himself, the younger kids, and Mari.

I like to think that Hero's a healer in HS not only because of his parents wanting him to be a doctor, though, but rather as a result of his older brother figure in their friendship group. Having a biological little brother who he cared for deeply meant that Hero had experience with littler kids, and he's the sort of person to look out for them, taking on a slightly parental role in HS. Particularly to Aubrey and Kel, he's very much an older brother figure.

He settles their disputes. He has a messy love life they like to get involved in and tease him about. He comforts them when they're upset. He's in charge of where they go (e.g. SWH's Quest for Hearts). He offers advice to characters like Omori. He's responsible, he's polite, he's a role model to them. Nice to everyone and always willing to help out. He reprimands Aubrey when she gets a little too angry, and tells Kel off when he aggravates her.

Above all else, though, Hero looks after them. He heals them when they're injured, offering good food and protection from enemies and threats. Hero takes on a defensive position, always there to offer help, support and recovery.

So, he's a healer.

This most likely applied in the real world, too, when the kids got any minor injuries like scrapes or bruises. 'Dr Hero' was able to look after them, patching them up with colourful band-aids. And Sunny experienced that, and integrated it into his mind that Hero (and Mari) were he, Aubrey, Basil and Kel's protectors. They provide warmth, shelter, healing and food.

Hero & Aubrey:

That makes it hurt even more when you think about how alone Aubrey felt. Her parents split up, her mother turning to drink as she stayed in her tiny, barely-filled room in the attic. Her friends all left, she lost an older sister figure in Mari- and an older brother in Hero. She didn't see him again for a year, and when he finally went back to school, he devoted himself to his studies and that image of perfection Mari had strived for. He didn't have time for her anymore, and wasn't there to even see if she was okay.

Of course she'd be angry, and hurt, and upset, on both her and Hero's behalf. She's mad at Mari for leaving them like she did, for crumbling Aubrey's only support system in one day. She's mad at Hero, for abandoning her in his grief. She's even mad at herself, for not being able to help somehow.

So she finds new friends, and she becomes the leader, the protector. She looks over the Hooligans, sometimes telling them off, getting defensive over them, buying food with them at Gino's. But there's nobody to look after her, or to stop her from doing anything she wants because her mother doesn't care, or to make her food that's actually filling. She's alone.

Then Hero comes back, and he doesn't even recognise her. He leaves her behind at the lake, walking away with Kel and Sunny without even hearing her out. She's been abandoned again, she's messed up again, and she doesn't know how to fix it. There are too many emotions for her to process, and she's far too exhausted to go after them. So, she goes home, and resents Basil for ruining her memories, and Kel for reducing her to the image he's built of her inside of his head, and Sunny for only coming out now and hurting her, and Mari for killing herself. And she resents Hero for leaving her, for not being there, and for walking away from that lake without a second glance.

She's still so, so angry, but then he goes to visit her and she falls apart. He came to see if she's okay. He wants to listen to her. And he recognises the rift between she and Kel as 'your typical Kel and Aubrey fight'. And he fixes it, making them say sorry like they're still just kids. And Aubrey hasn't said sorry in so long, not since her mom doesn't care and she's a known delinquent and she's so angry. He reprimands her lightly, seeing just how upset she is, but he's acting like a parent, like a brother, like Hero.

And Aubrey's missed that. She's been alone for so long, and now she's not anymore. They put the photos back and she cries and she apologises, and Hero just accepts it. He acts like it's nothing, not blaming her like Kel and the people in the church did, acting like everything's the same as it was years ago.

Then, he asks to hug her, and that's... Well, that's a little too much. But they've made a start, and yeah, he's embarrassing, but he's still like a brother to her. And she's missed him.

So when he says that they should go check up on Basil, she agrees. Just like all the times in HS when Hero suggested they go somewhere, Aubrey agrees, and they all go off together, a group again.

In the good end, things start to get better. In the bad end, things get so much worse. In any version of the neutral end, things fall apart beyond any seeming repair. But through all of them, she sticks with the person she used to view as an older brother, who still treats her like his sister even after those four years of loneliness.

Hero & Kel:

Now, consider Kel's thoughts on the matter. Hero's always been his older brother, someone to look up to and ask for help from. But when Mari dies, it's Hero who falls apart. Kel doesn't know what to do, the source of comfort over the years for he and his friends having been left broken as a result of Mari's seeming suicide.

Hero blames himself, and Kel can't find a way to convince him not to. Hero doesn't speak to him, doesn't get out of bed, doesn't do anything for a year. Like with Aubrey, Kel didn't just lose Mari; he lost Hero as well. His older brother didn't act like a brother anymore, like Hero anymore, not in the slightest. And he wasn't there to help Kel, because Hero himself was in need of more help than anyone could provide him with.

Hero used to take pride in his appearance, knowing full well that he was considered handsome. Hero used to love baking and cooking, dedicating hours to the craft. Then, Mari died, and he stopped everything, not even taking care of himself, let alone Kel.

So Kel tries his best. He bottles up his feelings, acting like he's fine. He made new friends, tries to comfort Hero like Hero used to him, brings food to his brother's bed in the hope that Hero will eat more. Kel tries to be the responsible one, the stable one, the unfaltering pillar of support Hero had been for so many years.

But Hero doesn't respond to him. Kel and his parents try their best to be supportive and help, but Hero stays the same way. Hero had always been fine, charming his way out of problems and fixing anything that went wrong. And then he wasn't anymore.

And after a year, Kel had had enough, desperately trying to get through to him. He missed his brother, his best friend, and had reached his breaking point. His parents' focus was on Hero, his friends had all drifted apart, Mari was dead, Sunny never left his house- and Hero seemed to be gone forever too.

Mari wouldn't have wanted to see him like that, Kel knew, suicidal or not. He wished she would've talked to someone, confided in them- at least confided in Hero- but knew she still cared about them greatly, Hero and Sunny in particular.

But the mention of Mari meant that Hero had reached his breaking point, snapping in a way Kel had never seen before. Hero was supposed to be calm, stopping arguments when Kel got into them, always polite and considerate. A far cry from the Hero before him just then, furious and wild, yelling at him.

Insulting him. Some of what Hero said was really hurtful to Kel- especially since it was coming from Hero. His brother, the person whose own perfection made Kel feel a little forgotten, the person who Kel admired and looked up to more than anyone, said things that were meant to hurt.

Kel blocked it out later on, only remembering how much Hero cried. Hero used to be a source of comfort. Used to help him heal. Instead, Hero was hurting Kel and hurting himself and Kel didn't know what he did wrong.

He did everything possible to calm Hero down, the outburst unfamiliar. But Hero had been unresponsive for a year, bottling up every emotion regarding Mari's death, and Kel mentioning her completely smashed those bottles into smithereens.

And it scared him. Kel felt scared because Hero was collected and level-headed and smart and mature, someone to go to for advice who would always help him feel better, someone seen as 'perfect'. His brother. Then, Hero didn't seem like Hero the slightest bit anymore, and that was terrifying not only because of Hero's wholly unfamiliar rage being directed at him, but also because Kel felt like he was losing his brother more by the second.

Then, his parents rushed in and helped Hero, and Kel was still crying alone on the floor, then his brother hurried over to him and tried his best to help. Kel felt like a little kid again, but it was so, so nice to be hugged again. Hero was back to his senses, back to being a healer rather than hurting him, apologising profusely and that was more relieving than Kel could imagine.

After that, Hero's self-destruction slowed down. It never disappeared, not when he decided to become a doctor for their parents' sake, not when Hero stopped doing anything he loved to focus entirely on his studies, but at least Hero started taking care of himself again.

Hero became far more closed-off after that, Kel could still see his guilt. But he couldn't help out, terrified to repeat what happened last time and feeling awful for it. Hero worked incredibly hard but was still naturally good at everything, which Kel found himself envying a little even then. Hero excelled at everything... Expect for sport.

So Kel went to basketball practise. Kel did his best to do something, anything better than his brother for a bit of his parents' approval- and to be worthy of Hero's attention. Basketball players were tall, and Kel desperately wanted to be taller than Hero. Basketball required a lot of running, and Hero was far too unathletic for that. Basketball was a team sport, and Hero had been running solo for over a year by that point.

And still, Hero got so many more trophies than him without even trying. But Hero had no passion, and that was upsetting and frustrating to watch because Hero got the same achievements for doing things he used to love with a sort of mechanical detachment that was completely new to Kel.

But he's got his brother back. His healer, his protector, his brother. And Kel isn't going to anything to put that in jeapordy again.

[destructionsys]

— the destruction system

polyfrag did sys 19 white + hisp audhd + bpd + ocd

angie 16-19 she/xe host fictive

aubrey 18 she/they protector + cohost

danny 20-25 he gatekeeper factive

azrael 21 he/him co-host fictive

+ more!!!

byf we smoke and use this account for all of us!! we love interacting :3

dni -16 +25 just dont be weird!