#been listening to sleeping at last even more than ususal

[thesweetnessofspring]

Hunger Games characters and my interpretation of their Enneagram type (explained by Sleeping at Last's Enneagram songs)

Sejanus-"One" I, I want to sing a song worth singing / I'll write an anthem worth repeating

Peeta-"Two" I just want to love you, to love you, to love you well / I just want to learn how, somehow, to be loved myself

Finnick-"Three" It's so exhausting on this silver screen / Where I play the role of anyone but me

Lucy Gray-"Four" Flashlight in hand, determined to find / Authenticity only poetry could even begin / To try to describe

Beetee-"Five" I want to watch the universe expand / I want to break it into pieces small enough to understand / And put it all back together again

Katniss-"Six" I want to take shelter, but I'm ready, ready to fight / Somewhere in the middle, I feel a little paralyzed

Haymitch-"Six" Is it courage or faith / To show up every day?

Delly-"Seven" I'll find the silver lining / No matter what the price

Gale-"Eight" I was just a kid who grew up strong enough / To pick this armor up / And suddenly it fit

Johanna-"Eight" Now you won't see all that I have to lose / And all I've lost in the fight to protect it

Prim-"Nine" It looks like empathy / To understand all sides / But I’m just trying to find myself / Through someone else’s eyes.

Snow-"One" but he doesn't get Sleeping at Last he doesn't deserve it.

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

mix up

Summary: A mix up with the buildings laundry was all it took to get what you always secretly wanted.

Pairing: Javier Peña x OFC (can be read as reader insert)

Wordcount: 4k+

Warnings: lots of cursing, smut (Oral; female receiving; sex), sex toys, also fluff, bad flirting as ususal

A/N: In my mind, this was a drabble. Apparently my brain had other ideas. The biggest thank you to @f0rever15elf​ for being my beta on this <3

Masterlist

Taglist in reblog

Pushing the laundry bin with your dirty laundry out of your apartment, you checked if you had  everything before you locked the door of your apartment behind you. It was laundry day. Thankfully the apartment in Bogata came with a laundry service. Not that you were not able to do your own laundry, you simply didn’t have time for it. The last thing on your mind while chasing down Escobar was doing your laundry. The job took every single second of your life, even in the few times you were off from work, even in your sleep. Walking down the long hallway, the last door you passed was Javier’s. You heard him curse something in spanish before the door opened and a similar laundry bin was placed in front of his door. You tilted your head as you looked at him, crossing your arms in front of your chest, a little grin on your lips.

“What?” He asked looking down at himself. 

“Nothing.” You hummed. “I love that color on you.” You winked before you walked out.

“Fuck you too.” He chuckled as he followed you.

“What? I do love it. As a matter of fact I own some pink stuff I wear occasionally.” You unlocked the car and he jumped into the passenger's seat.

Javier and you were co-workers. He had joined you in the hunt for Escobar only shortly after you arrived here from DC. You would say you even became friends. As possible as it was to become friends with him. There were only a handful of people who knew the lengths you had to go through at this job. Of course, he had tried to get into your pants first but the both of you decided it would be for the better to keep this strictly non physical. At least that’s what you told yourself. 

Though secretly you felt yourself wishing it was you on the receiving end of his “affection” as you lay in bed alone at night, while he was fucking some prostitute on the other side of the building.

“I’ve never seen you wearing anything pink, Guapa.” He pushed his yellow aviators up as he reached for the pack of cigarettes. You started the engine and looked at him.

“Oh Javier… There are many things you haven’t seen me wear.” You winked. You could see when the penny dropped and he shook his head, with a small grin. 

“Fuck. I didn’t even have my coffee yet and you put pictures of you in underwear inside my head?”

“I never said it was my underwear. But… That’s payback for making me listen to the moaning from your apartment last night.” You finally got the car on the road.

“Jealous?” He asked, holding his cigarette by the window. You mentioned once that you weren’t a big fan of smoke but didn’t mind it. He had made the effort to turn himself away from you from that day on when he smoked.

“More curious.” You said honestly.

“How so?” You stopped at a red light, turning your head to look at him. 

“We both know you are paying most of those women, so how real is their… valuation with you if you know what I mean?” You were genuinely curious. You had two relationships before and both of them didn’t really care for your pleasure. You had been responsible for your own orgasms all your life and you were wondering…

“Oh they aren’t acting Guapa. I know what I’m doing.” He winked at you and threw his cigarette out.

“Every man says that.” You shrugged, rolling your eyes.

“Well… You’ll have to trust my word. The only way you could be sure was if I showed you, and we both agreed that nothing will ever happen between us, right?” He asked. You nodded and looked away from him, starting the car again, when the light switched to green. You didn’t notice him looking at you as you continued to drive.

“If we wouldn’t be working together, would you?” He asked as you parked the car in front of the embassy and killed the engine. The car ride had been silent since the red light.

“Would I what?” You asked pulling your purse out from the backseat.

“Let me show you that I definitely know what I’m doing?” He asked, his voice deeper as he looked into your eyes. You looked back into his and wondered if anyone had ever noticed the small caramel like spot in this right eye.

“I guess that’s another thing you will never find out, Peña.” You had a small smile on your lips, hoping to cover up your nervousness. He looked at you knowingly before he let his tongue dart out to wet his lips. You swallowed, your eyes flying to his lips before you looked up and he bit his lip.

“Shame,” he whispered before he opened the car door and got out of the car. You closed your eyes, ignoring the throbbing between your legs as you watched him go into the building.

“Fucking hell,” you muttered, shaking your head to follow him inside.

Weeks went by without either of you mentioning the conversation between you. At some point, you thought you imagined the whole thing. You continued to work together. You both took care of Steve when Connie left to go back to the states unannounced. You couldn’t blame her. You’ve been wondering yourself if what you were doing would end in catching Escobar in the end. 

Javi and you were a pretty damn good team at work. He always had your back which was a gift you truly cherished. When you had first met him and Steve, you would have bet a lot of money that they would be just like the other assholes you had worked with before. But they weren’t. Of course Javier continued to flirt with you. That’s just who he was. But he also did acknowledge your intelligence and knew when he had to shut up and actually listen. You grew so comfortable with each other that just one look from the other would tell if it was a good day, or a bad day. 

Today had been a bad day for you. 

Not only was the lead you had chased the day before a dead end, but you just felt exhausted. Like the last weeks of working constantly came crashing down at you all at once. So you called in sick. For the first time… ever. You ignored that one of the reasons you felt so shitty was the fact that Steve and Javier had been gone for 3 days now. 

A knock on your door made you groan but you made your way to open up anyway, thanking the lady with your clean laundry with a smile before you closed the door and brought it into your bedroom. Deciding to put the clothes away right now instead of letting them stay on your bed as you usually did, you frowned when you saw a very pink shirt on the bottom. You let your fingers run over the fabric. It was Javi’s shirt. The one you teased him about.

Biting your lip, you looked down at it. You should give it back to him. You knew that. But he would be gone for at least another two days and you felt lonely. You opened the buttons, pulling the shirt you were wearing off and got his shirt on. You looked at yourself in the mirror. You had never worn a shirt of a man before, and when you pictured it before you weren’t thinking about a pink shirt, or Javi’s, but somehow you liked the way it looked on you. Smiling to yourself you pulled the fabric closer and you could swear you smelled his aftershave even though it was freshly cleaned. You did spend more time than you would ever admit to anyone thinking about him. The way he walked. The way he ran his hands through his hair when he was frustrated. How you could see his chest hair when he was wearing his poorly buttoned shirts. Closing your eyes you shook your head.

Coworker. He was your Coworker. 

Your very attractive Coworker who you caught undressing you with his own eyes more than once. In the quiet of your apartment you often dreamed what it would be like. Him touching you. You knew he could have anyone, yet he chose to pay for sex. He didn’t seem like he was looking to have any relationship, and you couldn’t blame him. But what if he chose you? What if he wasn’t your Coworker? What if he was just Javi? Your neighbor. What if you weren’t in Colombia chasing down drug lords? 

You pictured him coming home to you and taking you on the kitchen table. Would he go down on you? You bet he would. He seemed like he enjoyed pleasuring his woman. His woman. You wanted to be his woman. Even though you knew he wasn’t looking for someone. He told you before on a very drunken night out that he sucked at relationships. He just needed someone to make him forget, someone…

A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts again. Looking at yourself you considered answering whoever was at the door dressed in this shirt but decided against it and put on your bathrobe. There was another knock at your door.

“One second!” You called pulling the bathrobe closer around your body as you unlocked your door.

“Javi?” You asked, surprised. “I thought you’d be back on Saturday.” You pulled the bathrobe around you closer, suddenly feeling too naked to be standing in front of him, even though your whole body was covered.

“You’re okay. Thank.. Fuck. You’re okay.” He sighed relieved looking at you.

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” You frowned, a little confused. 

“I went to the embassy and no one knew where you were and…” He closed his eyes.

“I called in sick. I’m okay. I promise.” You said quietly. He ran his hand over his mouth, his other hand on his hip as he looked at you, his eyes tired.

“Are you okay Javier?” You asked a little confused at him just showing up like that. “Why are you back already?”

“Dead end. Didn’t see the point of staying there.” He shrugged.

“Okay. Then you should go to..”

“What are you wearing there?” he asked and nodded towards you.

“Uhm…” You looked down at yourself and tried to hide your surprise at seeing a bit of the pink shirt out. You looked up at him again, and you could see his grin.

“Is that pink I see?” His grin got wider. You sucked your bottom lip in.

“I told you I wear pink. Occasionally.” You shrugged. He nodded and continued to look at you before he stepped a little closer. You could see in his eyes that he was trying to work out what was going on and you noticed the moment he made the connection. His eyes darkened and you cursed yourself for not changing out of his shirt before you answered the door. 

“Is that… my shirt?” He whispered deeply. A shudder ran over your body. His hand came up, reaching for the collar that you apparently hadn’t tucked in as well as you thought you had. His finger brushed over your throat as his other hand slowly opened your bathrobe. One of your hands held your shirt together that you didn’t bother to button up. You shouldn’t have put it on in the first place. 

“Fuck, you’re wearing my shirt,” he cursed. You looked up at him, breathing deeply. You weren’t wearing anything but some panties beneath it. He looked down your body before he looked up at you again, his hand running up your neck to the back of your head.

You should take a step back, turn around and get away from him. Cause the way he was looking at you made your knees weak. 

“Javi, I can explain…” You mumbled, but he only shook his head slowly. The look he gave you made your poor explanation die on your lips.

“Tell me to stop,” he whispered as he stepped even closer. You felt the coldness of his leather jacket as he pushed your bathrobe from your shoulders and you shivered.

“Close the door, Javier,” you whispered. He looked at you, taking you in before he turned around and closed and locked the door. Pulling off his leather jacket he let it fall to the floor as he stalked towards you.

“I will never be able to get this picture out of my head.” He said as he walked you backwards until your back hit a wall behind you.

“You… You don’t have to get this picture out of your head.” You whispered.

“No?” He asked. One of his hands coming down on your hip as his other hand brushed some of your hair away that had fallen in your face. You shook your head at him.

“If you want to see me in your shirts, make sure to leave them with me after…” You bit your lip.

“After?” He leaned down and you felt his breath on your face.

“After you’ve fucked me.” You whispered and sighed when his lips crashed down on yours. You grabbed onto his back, pulling him closer as he licked into your mouth. Parting your lips without resistance you moaned when you felt one of his hands slip down your back.

“Been dreaming about this for years.” He groaned against your lips as he kissed down your neck, pushing the shirt you were still wearing open and you saw his little smile when he saw your boobs.

“Me too.” You whimpered as his teeth scratched over your neck. 

“Tell me.” He whispered, softly sucking on your pulse point on your neck before he kissed down your collarbone.

“Wanted you to feel against me. Wanted to… Ahh..” You cried out when his lips closed around one of your nipples.

“Tell me.” He groaned and looked up at you, not releasing the bud and sucked. You wouldn’t be able to continue to stand on your own feet if he kept that up.

“Wanted to taste you. Wanted you to taste me. Wanted you to…”

“Fuck you?” He asked, releasing your nipple with an obscene sound. You just nodded.

“Been wondering if you taste as good as you smell.” He whispered and kissed down your stomach.

“May I?” He knelt in front of you, his dark eyes wild as he looked up at you. You hesitated.

“I… No one ever….” You sucked your bottom lip in, shy all of the sudden. He seemed to understand immediately, cursing under his breath.

“You should be worshipped. Fucking losers. All of them.” He shook his head and got up from the ground.

“Will you let me?” He asked softly. There was nothing but affection in his eyes and you felt yourself nodding. You shrieked when he picked you up in his arms, moaning when he kissed you as he carried you to your bedroom. Carefully he set you down and you looked up at him. You wondered what this would change between you. Because you wouldn’t be able to go back to being just friends after this. 

“You’re not just a fuck, hermosa.” He seemed to answer your thoughts. 

“Let me feel you.” You said as you got up to stand in front of him. He didn’t stop you as you pulled his shirt out of his jeans and began to unbutton it, kissing his chest before you pulled it off. He groaned as you teased his nipple.

“Lay down on your back and let me take care of you.” He kissed you quickly and you complied, wanting to take the pink shirt off when he stopped you.

“No. Keep that on.” He smirked and you giggled.

“Whatever you want,” you hummed.

“Be careful what you wish for.” He said quietly as he looked down at you. A shiver ran over your body at the look he gave you and you could feel just how wet you were.

“What if I like playing with danger?” you asked. He furrowed his eyebrows before his hands opened the fly of his jeans. You swallowed, your eyes not leaving his as he pushed his jeans down. It was like he was challenging you to look and when you did you released a breath you couldn’t remember holding in. Of course he wasn’t wearing anything beneath his tight jeans.

When he was standing completely naked in front of you, he leaned down to slowly peel your embarrassingly damp panties down. He kissed up your leg, his mustache rubbing over the skin and you giggled when he kissed the skin behind your knees.

“Someone’s ticklish.” He mumbled against your skin.

“Maybe.” You smiled. He kissed up your inner thigh and unintentionally you wanted to close your legs but he didn’t let you.

“Let me look at you hermosa,” he whispered, looking up at you. You were only able to nod slowly. 

“If this is how I die I won't complain.” He murmured before his tongue darted out to taste you. You wanted to look at him but the way he nibbled, licked, and sucked made you throw your head back, moaning loudly. You grabbed the bedsheets, trying to ground yourself as he sucked at you clit.

“So fucking good,” he groaned against you and you cried out. 

“Fuck, keep going…,” you moaned. One of his hands on your stomach held you down while his other hand grabbed one of your boobs, kneading them, pulling at your nipple.

“Cum for me baby.” He whispered, his tongue dipping inside of you.

“Fuck….” You arched your back, heat rushing through your body as you almost blacked out when your orgasm washed over you.

This was unlike anything you ever felt before. You were so out of it you didn’t notice Javi stopped until his mouth was on your neck before he made you look at him. You felt his cock between your legs and you shakily breathed out, a blissful smile on your face as he leaned down to kiss you softly. You didn’t know nor did you care how long he kissed you, you just knew you never wanted to stop.

“You did enjoy that, right?” He asked and you punched against his chest, making him laugh.

“You’re awfully full of yourself, Agent Peña.” You shook your head and he cocked an eyebrow. 

“What if I want you to be awfully full of myself?” He smirked.

“You did not just say that.” You snorted, shaking with  laughter beneath him.

“Sorry,” he laughed with you, looking down at you.

“No you’re not.” You grinned and he chuckled. 

“Do you though?” He asked, quieter now as his laughter subsided. You arched your eyebrow in question. “Want me to fuck you?” He kissed down your jaw, as he rolled his hips against yours.

“Is me naked beneath you not clue enough? I thought you knew that you were a good Agent and knew what you’re doing...” You teased, your hands wandering down his back, pulling him against you. He bit into your shoulder and you moaned.

“Oh I’m gonna show you that I know exactly…” He kissed you. You groaned as you felt the tip of his cock at your entrance. “How to make you cum.”

“Condoms... “ You gestured to your bedside drawer. He nodded, disappearing from your point of view before he was back, a dirty grin on his face.

“This is gonna be fun.” He whispered, holding a condom and your vibrator up. You blushed looking away from him.

“No need to be shy, hermosa.” He ripped the condom package open and pulled it over his hard cock. You felt his hand between your legs and you looked up at him, before two of his fingers entered you, his eyes never leaving yours.

“So If nobody ever made you cum by going down at you…” He kept fingering you slowly, adding another finger and you moaned quietly, feeling so full already.

“Did anyone ever make you cum?” He asked, his thumb slowly circling your clit and you were about to cum again when he stopped. You pouted.

“Huh?” He asked. 

“Yes Javi. I made myself cum.” You groaned and he shook his head.

“Not anymore.” He hummed before you slowly felt himself push into you. You stopped breathing, looking up at him, embracing the delicious burn you felt as he split you in half. The sounds he was making would haunt you in the best way possible.

“So fucking tight,” he groaned and you released a breath when he was fully inside of you. He stilled, probably wanting you to get used to the stretch but all you wanted was..

“Move. Javi.” You pleaded and that was all he needed to hear.

“Feels better than I imagined.” He pressed, slowly fucking into you. He put your legs around his waist as he leaned down to kiss you. Holding him close, you let him fuck you, rolling your hips to meet his thrusts. Never in your life did you feel that full. He kissed every piece of skin his lips came in contact with and you grabbed onto his back, surely leaving marks as he moved faster. 

“Please…,” you moaned.

“Please what Hermosa?” he rasped, sucking on your shoulder.

“Harder.” You whimpered.

“You want it harder my needy girl?” he asked. You were only able to nod as he pushed away from you, pulling your legs over his shoulders. He held on to your legs before he began to ram into you.

“You want it harder. You get it harder. You get everything you fucking want.” He groaned.

“Fuck yes.” You moaned, holding onto the mattress beneath you. Closing your eyes you just let him do whatever the fuck he wanted. Never in your life had you been fucked like that. The familiar buzzing of your toy let you snap your attention back to the man curently fucking the life out of you and you almost jumped when the vibe made contact with your clit.

“Shit…,” you cried out, surprised when your orgasm washed over you within seconds.

“Fuck fuck….” Javie groaned, fucking you through your orgasm, throwing the vibe away.

“Can you give me one more?” He asked. You shook your head, still trying to breath properly, when he pulled out of you and turned you so you were straddling him.

“Ride me baby.” He smiled up at you. You leaned down, kissing him longingly before you carefully sat down on his cock.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said in awe, looking up at you as you slowly rolled your hips, still oversensensetive from your orgasm. Both of his hands sneaked under his shirt you were still wearing, massaging your boobs.

“You gonna give me one more, hermosa?” He moaned quietly, pushing himself up, his arms coming around you, his chest against you as he moved his hips against yours.

“Javi…” You whimpered, holding on to his shoulders.

“Tell me what you need…” 

“Kiss me,” you whispered. His lips were on you in the next moment and you shook as you felt your third orgasm approaching.

“Cum for me, Javi,” you whispered, clenching your walls, one of your hands pulling at his hair. He moaned against your chest as you felt him swell before he twitched and that was all it took for you to cum again. 

Out of breath you held on to each other, your head on top of his, his lips still attached to your boob.

“We should have done this sooner,” he chuckled and you smiled as you looked at him.

“We should have,” you agreed. You felt him soften inside of you but not you nor him were ready to let go of one another. You kissed him softly.

“We could do this again, you know?” You said carefully. You knew you wouldn’t be able to share him with anyone, he had to know. He looked at you.“But I’m not sharing what’s mine,” you added. 

“Yours, huh?” He asked, a little smile on his face. You nodded.

“I like the sound of that.” He said before he kissed you deeply. 

[alinaastarkov]

Motherhood - Arya, Daenerys, Brienne and Sansa

So this is in response to an ask I got and it ended up really long so I thought I would post separately. I’m not great at writing proper metas but this is my poor imitation of one at least, so here goes.

Motherhood and children are key parts of Arya, Brienne and Dany’s arcs. They all act as mothers to other characters in their stories and seem to have a natural maternal instinct that you normally don’t find in female characters who are gnc because men usually just can’t write strong women. Ususally female characters get the choice between children or having skills, but Brienne, Arya and Dany get both in their arcs. On the flip side, Sansa on the outside is a prime candidate for motherhood - she dreams of having children, is romantic, traditionally feminine, etc. But GRRM deconstructs these tropes by almost making her not very maternal at all.

Sansa outwardly conforms to patriarchal gender norms but she doesn’t take joy in or have the instincts of a mother. Her dreams were usually limited to marriage and not much beyond that. She’s growing out of her superficial desires, obviously, but she always thought about romance and being a lady, and having babies was a part of that because of the society she grows up in. She never wanted to actually care for children, she was just told that was an essential part of a “happy ending” and so she bought it. Her dreams about children were only ever about babies. She wants the fantasy, not the reality of raising kids. We can see with her behaviour with Sweetrobin - though it is improving - she really doesn’t have those motherly instincts and disdains the truths of having to care for someone younger.

It was more than Sansa could stand. "Robert, stop that." Instead he swung the doll again, and a foot of wall exploded. She grabbed for his hand but she caught the doll instead. There was a loud ripping sound as the thin cloth tore. Suddenly she had the doll's head, Robert had the legs and body, and the rag-and-sawdust stuffing was spilling in the snow. Lord Robert's mouth trembled. "You killlllllllled him," he wailed. Then he began to shake. It started with no more than a little shivering, but within a few short heartbeats he had collapsed across the castle, his limbs flailing about violently. White towers and snowy bridges shattered and fell on all sides. Sansa stood horrified, but Petyr Baelish seized her cousin's wrists and shouted for the maester. - Sansa VII, ASOS

Robert's lip quivered. "I was going to come sleep with you." I know you were. Sweetrobin had been accustomed to crawling in beside his mother, until she wed Lord Petyr. Since Lady Lysa's death he had taken to wandering the Eyrie in quest of other beds. The one he liked best was Sansa's . . . which was why she had asked Ser Lothor Brune to lock his door last night. She would not have minded if he only slept, but he was always trying to nuzzle at her breasts, and when he had his shaking spells he often wet the bed. - Sansa I, AFFC

Alayne understood all that well enough, but it meant that the burden of getting Sweetrobin safely down the mountain fell on her. "Give his lordship a cup of sweetmilk," she told the maester. "That will stop him from shaking on the journey down." "He had a cup not three days past," Colemon objected. "And wanted another last night, which you refused him." "It was too soon. My lady, you do not understand. As I've told the Lord Protector, a pinch of sweetsleep will prevent the shaking, but it does not leave the flesh, and in time . . ." "Time will not matter if his lordship has a shaking fit and falls off the mountain. If my father were here, I know he would tell you to keep Lord Robert calm at all costs." "I try, my lady, yet his fits grow ever more violent, and his blood is so thin I dare not leech him any more. Sweetsleep . . . you are certain he was not bleeding from the nose?" "He was sniffling," Alayne admitted, "but I saw no blood." "I must speak to the Lord Protector. This feast . . . is that wise, I wonder, after the strain of the descent?" [...] "Just give him a cup of the sweetmilk before we go, and another at the feast, and there should be no trouble." "Very well." They paused at the foot of the stairs. "But this must be the last. For half a year, or longer." "You had best take that up with the Lord Protector." She pushed through the door and crossed the yard. Colemon only wanted the best for his charge, Alayne knew, but what was best for Robert the boy and what was best for Lord Arryn were not always the same. Petyr had said as much, and it was true. Maester Colemon cares only for the boy, though. Father and I have larger concerns. - Alayne II, AFFC

In the last quote she says she has “larger concerns” than Robin’s health. All these characters are forced into motherly roles, even if they don’t like it at first, but Sansa is the only one of them who never actually feels that instinct to care for the child over other concerns. Not all people have motherly instincts so this is not a bad thing, it is simply a truth about her character. She does not have the connection to motherhood and children that others do.

Brienne, Arya and Dany on the other hand don’t conform to gender norms but they don’t disdain traditionally feminine women and all have super maternal instincts. Motherhood and children are an important part of all these characters’ arcs. With Dany, it’s blindingly obvious, and Brienne and Arya have this on a smaller scale, but they all care for and protect people like mothers. Sometimes this means being forceful to ensure they listen and are protected, but all mothers do the same.

The fire leapt from one house to another. Arya saw a tree consumed, the flames creeping across its branches until it stood against the night in robes of living orange. Everyone was awake now, manning the catwalks or struggling with the frightened animals below. She could hear Yoren shouting commands. Something bumped against her leg, and she glanced down to discover the crying girl clutching her. "Get away!" She wrenched her leg free. "What are you doing up here? Run and hide someplace, you stupid." She shoved the girl away. - Arya IV, ACOK

They found Gerren too, but he was hurt too bad to move. As they were running toward the barn, Arya spied the crying girl sitting in the middle of the chaos, surrounded by smoke and slaughter. She grabbed her by the hand and pulled her to her feet as the others raced ahead. The girl wouldn't walk, even when slapped. Arya dragged her with her right hand while she held Needle in the left. Ahead, the night was a sullen red. The barn's on fire, she thought. Flames were licking up its sides from where a torch had fallen on straw, and she could hear the screaming of the animals trapped within. Hot Pie stepped out of the barn. "Arry, come on! Lommy's gone, leave her if she won't come!" Stubbornly, Arya dragged all the harder, pulling the crying girl along. Hot Pie scuttled back inside, abandoning them . . . but Gendry came back, the fire shining so bright on his polished helm that the horns seemed to glow orange. He ran to them, and hoisted the crying girl up over his shoulder. "Run!" - Arya IV, ACOK

"Mostly just roofs," Arya admitted, "but some chimneys were smoking, and I heard a horse." The Weasel put her arms around her leg, clutching tight. Sometimes she did that now. [...] "If we see any leg potion, we'll bring it," Gendry said. "Arry, let's go, I want to get near before the sun is down. Hot Pie, you keep Weasel here, I don't want her following." [...] "You leave Weasel alone, she's just scared and hungry is all." Arya glanced back, but the girl was not following for once. Hot Pie must have grabbed her, like Gendry had told him. [...] Lommy and Hot Pie almost shit themselves when she stepped out of the trees behind them. "Quiet," she told them, putting an arm around Weasel when the little girl came running up. [...] "She ran off when she heard you coming," Lommy said. "You made a lot of noise." And Arya thought, Run, Weasel, run as far as you can, run and hide and never come back.  - Arya V, ACOK

She would make much better time on her own, Arya knew, but she could not leave them. They were her pack, her friends, the only living friends that remained to her, and if not for her they would still be safe at Harrenhal, Gendry sweating at his forge and Hot Pie in the kitchens. If the Mummers catch us, I'll tell them that I'm Ned Stark's daughter and sister to the King in the North. I'll command them to take me to my brother, and to do no harm to Hot Pie and Gendry. They might not believe her, though, and even if they did . . . Lord Bolton was her brother's bannerman, but he frightened her all the same. I won't let them take us, she vowed silently, reaching back over her shoulder to touch the hilt of the sword that Gendry had stolen for her. I won't. - Arya I, ASOS

Arya with Weasel is such a strong example of her motherly instincts. Even though Arya is only 9/10 herself, she takes it upon herself to care for others even when everyone else is telling her not too. Like every other mother, she forces Weasel to do what’s best for her, protecting her even if it makes Weasel upset for a while. At least she’s alive and safe. And she’s good at being motherly too. Eventually, Weasel is actively seeking out Arya as her protector, clinging to her leg, and Arya holds Weasel so casually and naturally, it’s pretty much automatic. And her attachment to her “pack” throughout is just an extension of this because she is always “at the head”, the leader, the protector, the mother.

"They will not hurt me," she told him. "They are my children, Jorah." She laughed, put her heels into her horse, and rode to them, the bells in her hair ringing sweet victory. She trotted, then cantered, then broke into a gallop, her braid streaming behind. The freed slaves parted before her. "Mother," they called from a hundred throats, a thousand, ten thousand. "Mother," they sang, their fingers brushing her legs as she flew by. "Mother, Mother, Mother!" - Daenerys IV, ASOS

Dany had left a trail of corpses behind her when she crossed the red waste. It was a sight she never meant to see again. "No," she said. "I will not march my people off to die." My children. "There must be some way into this city." - Daenerys V, ASOS

Safe. The word made Dany's eyes fill up with tears. "I want to keep you safe." Missandei was only a child. With her, she felt as if she could be a child too. "No one ever kept me safe when I was little. Well, Ser Willem did, but then he died, and Viserys … I want to protect you but … it is so hard. To be strong. I don't always know what I should do. I must know, though. I am all they have. I am the queen … the … the …" "… mother," whispered Missandei. "Mother to dragons." Dany shivered. "No. Mother to us all." Missandei hugged her tighter. "Your Grace should sleep. Dawn will be here soon, and court." "We'll both sleep, and dream of sweeter days. Close your eyes." When she did, Dany kissed her eyelids and made her giggle. - Daenerys II, ADWD

The motherhood part of Dany’s arc is pretty much undeniable. She is the mother to dragons, mother to all her people. She calls them her “children”, they call her “Mhysa” and their care is her primary concern. As seen in the last quote, she agonises over not protecting them well enough, she worries constantly that she is putting them in danger when all she wants to do is keep them safe. Missandei reminds her that she is their mother and she is protecting them as best she can, and like Arya and Brienne she acts motherly in a more personal sense here, making Missandei giggle. Without a doubt, Dany is the best protector her children could have asked for. Motherhood I’m sure will only become more prevalent in Dany’s story going forward.

So far he had been true to his word, and Brienne had been true to hers. Podrick had not complained. Every time he raised a new blister on his sword hand, he felt the need to show it to her proudly. He took good care of their horses too. He is still no squire, she reminded herself, but I am no knight, no matter how many times he calls me "ser." She would have sent him on his way, but he had nowhere to go. Besides, though Podrick said he did not know where Sansa Stark had gone, it might be that he knew more than he realized. Some chance remark, half-remembered, might hold the key to Brienne's quest. - Brienne III, AFFC

Brienne had been betrothed at seven, to a boy three years her senior, Lord Caron's younger son, a shy boy with a mole above his lip. They had only met the once, on the occasion of their betrothal. Two years later he was dead, carried off by the same chill that took Lord and Lady Caron and their daughters. Had he lived, they would have been wed within a year of her first flowering, and her whole life would have been different. She would not be here now, dressed in man's mail and carrying a sword, hunting for a dead woman's child. More like she'd be at Nightsong, swaddling a child of her own and nursing another. It was not a new thought for Brienne. It always made her feel a little sad, but a little relieved as well. - Brienne III, AFFC

One of the women was very old, one was heavy with child, and one was a girl as fresh and pretty as a flower in spring. When Meribald took them off to hear their sins, Ser Hyle chuckled, and said, "It would seem the gods walk with us . . . at least the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone." Podrick looked so astonished that Brienne had to tell him no, they were only three marsh women. - Brienne V, AFFC

"Podrick has never harmed you. My father will ransom him. Tarth is called the sapphire isle. Send Podrick with my bones to Evenfall, and you'll have sapphires, silver, whatever you want." [...] Brienne felt the hemp constricting, digging into her skin, jerking her chin upward. Ser Hyle was cursing them eloquently, but not the boy. Podrick never lifted his eyes, not even when his feet were jerked up off the ground. If this is another dream, it is time for me to awaken. If this is real, it is time for me to die. All she could see was Podrick, the noose around his thin neck, his legs twitching. Her mouth opened. Pod was kicking, choking, dying. Brienne sucked the air in desperately, even as the rope was strangling her. Nothing had ever hurt so much. She screamed a word.  - Brienne VIII, AFFC

Brienne is similar to Arya in terms of motherly instincts. She maybe begrudges her responsibility to Pod at first, but she recognises that responsibility straight away and takes it on nevertheless, protecting him, teaching him, encouraging him. Pod meanwhile seems to love Brienne, taking pride in being her squire, wanting to be at her side at all times. In the end, honour, quite possibly the most important thing for Brienne, is sacrificed to save Pod’s life.

It’s another deconstruction of classic fairy tale characters. Motherhood is associated with protection, and so the gnc women in the series taking on protector roles of the more traditional sense (ruling, wielding a sword, knighthood, etc.) are also mothers at the same time, and the classic princess is what she would realistically be like - superficial and largely without those instincts. It’s another reason to think Arya/ Brienne/ Daenerys will end the series with children of their own.

[jj-lives]

Coat Inktober Bmblb

I’ve  been doing a lot of editing to this series making it into something more concrete to post to ao3. I hope to start posting there in a few days

—————————————————————————— That feeling, an odd mixture of belonging and intruder, such an oxymoron, but it was exactly how Yang felt in that moment.

Standing next to a reticent Blake as soft conversation drifted from Weiss and Ruby standing in line ahead of them. Their voices, though loud enough for them to hear, didn't really grant Yang an opportunity to join. Speaking of common classes, which Yang had never taken, or projects Yang could not remember doing in her earlier years at the university left little for her to respond with other than a couple cursory head nods to show she was listening. It was at least more than Blake supplied; her eyes taking in the others in line with them, or glued to her phone. Had she not been standing directly beside Yang, she was sure it would look as if Blake was in line alone.

Ruby warned her that Blake was a quiet one, but she’d witnessed her at least contributing to conversations during the game night they’d had a few weeks ago. Finding her completely mute was unnerving. It made Yang feel as if she was the reason for the girl’s silence. If she’d declined the last minute invite from Ruby to accompany them, would Blake then be jumping in to scold Ruby for her lack of interest in a class like Weiss? Would she be complaining at the unfair workload of their English Professor as Ruby was now doing? Without knowing much about her, she didn’t think Blake would be one to take part in the latter.

The text asking her to join them at the movies had surprised but delighted her. She enjoyed hanging out with Ruby, and Weiss was growing on her. Knowing Blake was a part of the ‘us’ in Ruby’s text closed the deal had she been feeling any reservations about doing so. Something about the soft spoken, book lover drew Yang’s attention. And being invited, included, was a great feeling. Too bad the girl responsible for her immediate acceptance was now the reason Yang wished she’d refused. The blanketed silence set Yang’s anxiety aflutter.

“Are you looking forward to the movie?” Yang asked when her agitated nerves demanded her to do something.

Startled at the sudden question directed at her, Blake's eyes spun from the man behind them to meet hers, lips parted in a small gasp. Yang allowed her time to process the question, forcing the smile to remain, hoping it looked encouraging and not nervous like she felt inside. Sticking both hands in the pockets of her hoodie didn’t stop her fingers from twitching, but she hoped it was enough to hide her unease.

Blake shrugged after a moment, tipping her chin to Ruby. “She is.”

“Do you not want to watch it?” She thought it polite to ask, since Blake’s attitude wasn’t giving the impression she was enjoying the outing.

“I didn’t say that.” Blake returned her attention to her phone.

They fell into another lull. Frustrated, Yang settled for taking secret glances at Blake when her attention was elsewhere. It was proving to be an easy feat, her gaze always flittering to anything that so much as moved in their vicinity. It was on one of those covert looks that Yang witnessed an almost imperceptible shiver and realized, not for the first time, that Blake was only wearing a long sleeved shirt. It wasn’t a cold night, but standing outside in one way for as long as they had been was obviously causing Blake discomfort.

Only hesitating for a split second before removing her hoodie. “Here,” and at Blake’s questioning look, “You looked a little cold. And I don’t know how long we are going to be stuck out here.” She turned her attention back to the line ahead of them only to see it remain unmoving.

“I couldn’t-“

“Yang doesn’t get cold. Like ever.” Ruby spoke up, having heard the exchange. “She’s like a natural heater, I swear. When we were younger we would go camping and we would share a tent.” Ruby groaned dramatically, waving her arm towards Yang.  “After the first night I always demanded my own sleeping bag cuz I was dying a slow, excruciating burning de-“

“Ruby.” Yang gritted, teeth clenched.

“Oh,” she laughed. “Anyway, she won’t need the sweater. You should take it if you’re cold, Blake.”

Blake still looked wary, but Yang could see the way her feet shuffled and her body swayed from side to side trying to create some kind of heat. “I’m fine,” she said after a time.

Discouraged but too proud to fully give up, Yang tied the sweater around her waist. She knew Blake was cold and knew she could use the hoodie, but she was just being overly stubborn. If Blake wasn’t going to take her offer then neither of them would get to wear it. She could be stubborn too.

The line shuffled forward and a collective murmur rang up from the crowd. It was short lived as a group of six walked bashfully down the line, waving apologies as their departure was the only reason for the progression. A chill wind, barely noticeable to Yang, caused Blake to rub at her arms; Ruby and Weiss too engrossed in a conversation about a chemistry lab to notice. Yang was sure both would have admonished her for refusing the hoodie if they had, but Yang didn’t know Blake well enough to tease her the way the other two could. Conversation seemed to be more than she wanted from Yang, taking it any further was a boundary Yang just did not want to cross.

There was a yell from across the street, drawing Yang’s attention, and she turned to face Pyrrha across the way. She lifted her arm in greeting and it was returned. Yang could see Nora and Ren trailing her. The trio rounded a corner and were soon out of sight. A vibration against her hip pulled a smile from her. Knowing exactly who was texting her she pulled the phone from her pocket.

‘Are you on a double date with Ruby?’ it read.

Shaking her head she shot back a quick negative and promised to fill her in the next day. It didn’t stop Pyrrha from wishing her luck, followed by a winking emoji. She shook her head, bemused at Pyrrha’s teasing and was about to turn back to the group. Even if she wasn’t involved in a conversation it was still awkward to have her back to Blake.

Before she could fully turn there was a pair of hands on her hips. She froze and buried her initial reaction of slapping them away. These weren’t the ususal hands that groped her ass sometimes in crowds. In fact, they were staying a pretty safe distance from any of the usual zones horny guys went after. Arms reached further, wrapping around her waist, and upon a glance down she recognized the watch on the left wrist as belonging to Blake. Nimble fingers worked the knot at Yang’s navel before her hoodie was removed from its cradle around her hips.

When she turned, sure her cheeks were as red as they’d ever been, Blake was zipping the hoodie up and hugging herself into what residual heat was left from Yang’s body. What was this girl’s deal with personal space? First in the kitchen with the cookie and now this? She could have just told Yang about the chocolate on her face. She could have asked for the hoodie. Yang would have been more than willing to hand it over.

Yang stood there with her mouth hanging, not knowing how to handle the situation. Should she call her out on it? Or would that embarrass Blake to the point she stubbornly returned the piece of clothing? Yang didn’t want Blake to be cold. Even if it was awkward, the result was exactly what Yang wanted, for Blake to accept her hoodie. Her jaw closed with a snap and they waited another fifteen minutes before the line truly began to move.

With how stubborn Blake was about taking the sweater, Yang was half expecting to have it returned the second they walked through the theatres doors. But that seemed to be the last thing on Blake’s mind. Weiss told them she would get the tickets for them if Yang and Blake saved them a spot in the confectionary line. All agreed without protest and they split up. As they passed a row of candies Blake picked up three bags and shoved them in the pockets of her hoodie. Yang deferred to Blake as they came to the front of the line, Weiss and Ruby nowhere to be found.

The three of them must have come to the movies together before, Yang mused, because Blake knew exactly what to order, down to the mix of the three soda’s Ruby preferred. She’d become so accustomed to being mostly ignored by Blake that her amber eyes surprised her with their sudden appearance. They begged for an answer but Yang couldn’t remember hearing the question.

“Drink?” Blake asked, probably for the second time.

“Oh,” Yang turned to give her response to the employee, wanting to remove the pair of eyes that unsettled her so.

They each juggled two drinks and a large popcorn as they exited the queue. Yang looked again for the familiar form of her sister or Weiss telltale silver headl, but came up empty. She followed Blake, as she seemed to know where she was going, but when she approached the usher Yang realized Ruby and Weiss probably went to get seats, but they hadn’t left them with tickets. “Maybe we should-“

“Our friends left two tickets with you?” Blake ignored Yang’s comment, effectively cutting her off. “One had a long silver ponytail.”

“Oh, yes, here you girls are.” The older man smiled at them, a crinkle forming in the corner of each eye. “Theatre number three, it’s the second on the left.”

Blake thanked the man and Yang nodded as she walked by. He placed the ticket between the two fingers she lifted from Ruby’s drink. “Enjoy the movie.”

“You’ve done this before.”

Blake’s head dipped as she hummed in affirmation.

As they entered theatre three Ruby called their names, jumping to her feet to wave at them. It wasn’t until Blake handed Weiss the drink belonging to her and the popcorn she held that Yang realized she and Blake were going to be sharing the bag in her hands. Calming her nerves she told herself it wasn’t a big deal until she started to believed it. They settled into their seats as Blake pulled out the bags of candy she’d purchased. She handed the M&Ms to Weiss and the gummy bears to Ruby, but kept the third pack tucked safely in her pocket. Realizing she’d been so busy deferring the ordering to Blake that she hadn’t thought to grab a bag herself Yang became slightly disappointed. She had popcorn and a drink, she didn’t need anymore.  

The lights dimmed not long after and the buzz around them quieted. There were the usual ads and trailers before a cursory ‘turn off your phone’ reminder popped up on the screen. Half the theatre rushed to silence their ringtones. It wasn’t long before Blake reached over to take a handful of popcorn. Pressure increased on Yang’s thigh lightly as she did so. The indirect contact sent a warmth up her spine and Yang flushed with mortification. Blake wasn’t even truly touching her thigh.

Ten minutes into the movie Yang was still trying to control her body’s reaction to the situation and every time she thought she’d mastered it Blake would reach for another handful and prove her wrong. A tap on her shoulder tore her eyes from the actors dancing on the screen. Still fully aware of her body’s inexplicable respinses to the girl beside her, Yang forced her eyes to meet Blake’s instead of skirting around as they did with every other time their eyes met. Blake was holding a bag of sweets out to her, a silent offer. Yang was quick to shake her head and turn back to the movie.

Her hand fed her some buttered popcorn, but it now tasted bitter in her mouth. Sour Patch Kids were her favourite movie theatre guilty pleasure and she’d just refused them because looking into Blake’s eyes for more than a few moments unsettled her. What kind of a disaster was she anyway?

Blake’s arm came into view and Yang tensed, willing her body to act normal. The girl just wanted popcorn. But the pressure was less this time, almost imperceptible and her body didn’t react as it had been. Hoping she was finally getting a grip on the feelings Blake brought unwillingly out in her, Yang relaxed more fully into the cushioned seat.

Laughing at a gag Yang plucked a couple kernels of popcorn and tossed them expertly into her waiting mouth. The second they touched her tongue Yang knew something was different. It took her all of two seconds to realize there were two sour patch kid candies mixed in with the popcorn. Blake’s amused snort caught Yang’s attention. She was sneaky, Yang would give her that.

Yang rose an eyebrow in question and Blake shrugged, smiling at her own success. Yang spent the remainder of the movie wondering which bite would include a special treat, stealing secret smiles at the thoughtful girl next to her each time.

As per usual, Ruby was always high with praise for any new movie and she made it well known which parts were her favourite as they exited the theatre. Weiss argued one of her points and they fell into a heated debate on the subject that didn’t look to be ending anytime soon. Yang rolled her eyes, catching Blake doing the same as both knew Weiss would concede her point by how indifferent she was arguing over it.

Blake shoved her hands into her hoodie pockets and shrugged against the cold as they exited the building. The movement must have reminded her she was wearing borrowed clothes because she reached to unzip it. Yang stilled her hand, pulling the zipper snuggly up to Blake’s chin.

“You walked here?” Yang asked.

“Yeah, I just live around the corner.”

“You want a ride?” She shook her head in answer. “Then at least keep the hoodie. You can return it another day.”

Blake looked about to refuse but a chill evening wind blew through the street as she opened her mouth. It snapped shut with a small hiss of vexation. “I’ll give it back to Ruby in our next class.” She looked to her friends, noticing they were still arguing. “Tell them I’ll text them later, okay?”

“Sure thing.”

Blake turned, in a hurry to get to the warmth of her apartment, but she paused only a few steps away and looked back. “Thanks, Yang.”

Without waiting for a response she flipped the hood up and took off at a jog. Yang whispered a quiet, “you’re welcome,” to her shrinking form.

Two days later Ruby threw her hoodie at her as she walked in late from studying. It smelled of fresh laundry detergent.

“Can you tell her she didn’t have to wash it before she gave it back.” Yang laughed, kicking off her shoes and hanging her bookbag on one of the dining chairs.

“She didn’t.” Ruby responded as Yang slipped her arms into the familiar soft fabric. “She gave it to me yesterday and I spilled juice on it last night.” Ruby scratched at the bridge of her nose, embarrassed. “I did some of your other laundry at the same time though.”

Yang knew it was a peace offering. She took in the familiar grey and gold wrapped around her and found no noticeable stains so she figured it would be best to let it go. No harm, no foul.

“That was awfully nice of you.”

“I know, right?”

Yang scoffed as Ruby failed to detect her sarcasm. Or maybe she did hear it and just chose to ignore it. Curling up on the opposite side of the couch, Yang shoved her hand’s comfortably into its well worn pockets. A moment later she turned to her sister.

“Ruby.”

“Yeah?”

“Did you check the pockets before you washed this?”

“Umm.” Ruby’s eyes crossed in a way that told Yang she did not. It was always the look she gave when she was trying to get out of trouble, either with a lie or half truth.

Removing her hand she brought out a small handful of shredded, discoloured scraps of what once was a piece of paper.

"Sorry," Ruby said softly. "It wasn't important was it?"

Yang shrugged, pulling as much of the ruined paper out as she could. "It was probably the movie ticket. I'm not bothered." Ruby gave her a relieved look. "But can you try to remember next time you do the laundry? I wouldn't want something important ruined."

"Sure thing, sis." Ruby tossed the remote to the couch between them. "I think I'll head to bed. But Blake wanted me to tell you that she appreciated the use of the sweater and to thank you again."

"No problem," Yang waved it off. "Any friend of yours is a friend of mine. You know I really don't mind that kind of thing."

"Good night, Yang."

"Night Ruby."

Once Ruby's door closed with an audible click, Yang brought the fabric of the sweater to her nose and breathed deep. There was a lingering scent that did not belong to their detergent or fabric softener. She imagined it was Blake, even if some part of her knew it was her brain making up falsehoods.

[angrylizardjacket]

ask your destiny to dance [10] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

When Ash opens the door to her room to see a grouchy Roger, she’s surprised to say the least. 

“Who let you in?” She asked, surprisingly defensive, wrapped in her nightgown, hair a mess from what he can see where she’s only got the door open a crack. 

“The van’s been sold,” he says instead, and Ash makes a face, and doesn’t open the door any wider. Actually, she just crossed her arms over her chest.

“So you came to me? Go away, Roger.” She’s not usually so short with him, and she goes to close the door but he holds out a hand, jaw clenched.

“The others are here too, the buyer lives here, on the first floor,” after a beat, he hesitates, “Freddie wanted to say hi.” And Ash finally relented, sighing deeply and pulling her dressing gown tighter around herself.

“Alright, lemme put some pants on, I’ll make tea.” She says, and it’s punctuated with a yawn, before she closes the door. When Ash closes the door, she takes a moment to rest her head against it, eyes closed, already exhausted.

“Who was that?” Comes a voice from her bed, and when she turns, she sees the sleepy smile of Tom or Travis or whatever his name is, and she lets herself smile back.

“A friend.” She tells him, walking with measured steps and an easy grin back to the bed, straddling him when he sits against the headboard. Ash moves in to kiss him, moaning gently as his hands find her smooth thighs beneath the bathrobe.

“Can he wait?” He asks, kissing her jaw as his fingers graze from her thighs up to pull at the sash of her dressing gown, exposing her to him, his hands moving to cup her boobs. Ash feels herself flush, eyes fluttering closed, laugh coming out a little breathy, but she moves back. 

For just a moment, with his hands on her, her eyes closed, she sees the way Roger had been grinning last night, with the girl at the other end of the bar, and how his gaze had flicked to Ash’s for just a second, and his smile had brightened in that moment. But then the girl at the bar kisses Roger and Ash drops a glass, and Tyler or Todd or whoever he is pinches her nipple and her eyes snap open. He’s grinning back at her, brown eyes dark as he looks her over, and Ash feels something tighten in her chest, so she kisses him rough, hands in his curly, blonde hair. He’s familiar, but not enough, and she doesn’t like to read into it-

“Pocket Rocket?” It’s Freddie who bangs on her door this time, and Ash turns bright red as the boy in her bed laughs the nickname quietly back to her, pinching her thigh.

“Yeah, gimme a sec, Freds.” She calls back, getting off of the boy with a sheepish smile.

“Your friends seem impatient.” He says, but gets out of bed obligingly, searching for his pants while Ash rifles through her drawer for something to wear. 

“Just get on some pants and go.” Ash says, a little beleaguered, and she hears him laugh as he pulls on jeans. As she’s bent over looking for a pair of short, he slaps her on the ass, and Ash turns sharply, eyebrows raised, small smile on her face. He just leans in and kisses her quickly.

“Thanks for last night.” He tells her, and she grins, leaning up on her tip toes to kiss him again in answer. When he leaves, he’s wearing jeans and an unbuttoned shirt, his shoes and socks in hand, and he runs directly into Freddie who’s waiting outside. “Sorry for keeping her, man, you know how it is.” He smirked, and Ash felt herself flush, stepping out after he’d left to see an amused Freddie.

“So, who’s your friend?” Freddie asks, following behind her as she walks out to the common room, and seeing John, Roger, and Brian all sitting around her kitchen table, feels herself turn bright red.

“Tommy... maybe.” She says, avoiding eye contact with them, a little, proud smile on her face. Freddie wolf whistles.

“Look at you go.” He says, draping himself in a seat at the table, watching with amusement as Ash shuffled around the kitchen, preparing tea for them all. As she worked, the others began talking over each other, excited at the prospect of recording an actual album, and she let herself relax as she listened. 

“How do you boys like your tea?” She asks, interrupting them, already putting a second sugar in the mug with cat faces on it. Brian and John tell her easily, Freddie smiles, knowing she already knows his, and Roger uses the lull to complain about selling the van again, not giving a real answer, and that starts them all up again, trying to tell him it was the right move for the band. When Ash puts Roger’s tea down for him, she gives his shoulder a gentle squeeze, and when he looks up at her, she gives him an apologetic smile, far more relaxed than when she’d opened the door for him earlier. He shoots back a tight smile, and just holds the familiar cup as she moves back to the counter.

“We’re recording tonight.” Brian announces, as Ash puts his drink down in front of him. “Do you wanna come along?” Taking a seat beside him, Ash takes a long sip of her own tea, looking between the four of them.

“Why?” She finally speaks, laughter a little confused.

“I want my number one fan there.” Freddie said proudly, grinning at her, and Ash smirked.

“Freds, you’re gonna be there either way.” She said fondly, and you hear a snort from Roger.

“You even up for it, Ash? How much sleep did you get last night?” He asks with a smirk. Freddie laughs at that, John hides his smile behind his mug, and Brian just shakes his head, but Ash just sits up straighter, lips quirking in a challenge as she narrows her eyes at him. 

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know, you pervert.” She tells him, the hint of a smile in his words, and he bites back his reply, a little flush because, yeah, he fucking missed it, missed her, not that he could say that here and now, not that he could ever say that out loud. “That’s what I thought.” She says, triumphant when he’s silent, but she can’t look him in the eyes, and she agrees to go to the recording studio.

When she turns up, a little late but excited nevertheless, Roger’s sitting outside, bouncing his leg, and looking like he’s waiting for something. His expression brightens when he sees her, though Ash just gives him an amused smile.

“You waiting for me?” She asked, and he tipped his head to the side as he stood, giving her an evaluating stare.

“Didn’t want you getting lost.” He half laughed, and Ash grinned at him, her hands stuffed in her pockets as he lead her inside the building.

“So you still, ah, getting out and about?” He asked, shooting for casual, though Ash snorted out a laugh at his awkwardness.

“Yeah, you know, since everything with August I’m just... enjoying myself, you know?” It’s been almost a full three months since the incident at Fife, and objectively Roger knew she’d probably want to get herself back out there, but he’d, well honestly, Roger had assumed she’d go for him when she was ready.

“Of course, makes sense.” There’s an awkward silence that hangs between them, and Ash comes to a halt before they make it to the recording studio, frowning up at him, obviously waiting for him to spit out whatever he was thinking. After a beat, he opens his mouth, but she cuts him off.

“I don’t give a fuck if you have a problem with what I’m doing, frankly it’s not any of your business.” She said flatly, and Roger shrugged.

“I don’t have a problem with it, I’m just surprised you didn’t ask me.” He admitted honestly, “I thought we had fun together at least,” and Ash actually laughed, smile a little sharp as she looked at him, and he knew he’d said the wrong thing.

“Yeah no, it was fun, and then I stopped meeting your standards or some bullshit, remember?” And her words sting a little, and Roger frowns.

“You’re still mad about that? I was just pissed about- about him.” And at even the suggestion of August, Roger can feel his blood boil a little. “I thought we were good.” He crows, and Ash gave him a thin smile.

“Yeah, we’re good, we’re fine,” which is clearly a lie, “you’ve done a great job at burying any suspicions the others had about us, because there’s no way in hell I’d ever go near you like that again.” And she turns to leave, but he’s still.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Of course you are.” She says, before she stops at the door, giving him a small, apologetic smile. “I’m still sorry about how things went down with us, Rog, but fuck, you really know how to make a girl feel like a dumbass for having feelings and shit. But whatever; we’re good.” And he calls her name as she opens the door to the studio, but someone comes bursting through.

“Oh! I’m so sorry- Rog, they’re asking for you!” It’s the girl from the bar last night, and Ash smiles brightly, with a glassy-eyed stare as everything comes shattering around her. “I know you! You’re the bartender! You must be the singer’s friend.” The girl seems so bright and sweet, and Ash holds out her hand automatically.

“Ash.” She introduces herself as, smile still frozen in place as the girl shakes her hand, introducing herself as Kristin. “You’re here with Roger?” Ash asks, and Kristin confirms with a giggle. Turning to look over her shoulder, Ash sees Roger with his eyes squeezed closed. Expression softening as she turns back to the sweet-faced Kristin, she lays a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “Watch out for that one, he’s bad news.” And her tone is bright, and Kristin takes it like a joke as Ash swans past her into the recording studio.

“He’s fucking unbelievable sometimes.” Ash quiet enough that only Mary hears it when she takes a seat beside the blonde on the sofa. Mary wraps an arm around her, letting Ash tuck against her side as they watched the boys set up.

“I know, sweetheart.” Mary says, rubbing her arm in solidarity. “Pay him no mind, it’s gonna be a good night, you should have seen how excited Freddie was earlier; still is.” And it’s true Freddie’s bursting with energy, warming up; he sees Ash, and immediately bursts into the room, leaning down to wrap her in a hug.

“I’m so glad you’re here, Ash.” He tells her, and Ash gives him a fond smile, despite her gently aching heart.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

the ususal suspects: @deakydickfanpage @hollyissuchahoe  @laueecakee  @smittyjaws @crystalshines2909 @i-am-sarah @legendsaresooftenwarnings @2ptonpt @benhardy24-7 @maiilovely @mickey-yr-a-goner @butter-times @heyyouitskay @tired-eyes-fairy-lights @yepimthatperson @missieluvsmurder @ironqueen98 @ceruleanrainblues@banhbao329 @fantasticchaoticwho @ko-kitty @seven-seas-of-hi @mimisfangirlfantasy @aadjuric @rogmobile @cardybenhardy @snacfu​ @perriwiinkle​

[ltjlily17]

Oh, can we call it a night?

What’s the most played song on your iPod? I don’t iPod anymore these days, but theres a site that will aggregate your Spotify listening, and the song I’ve listened to the most all time on Spotify is In Your Atmosphere by John Mayer. What is one quality you admire most in others? People who know what they want to do with themselves. What would you do with a million dollars? Invest it, maybe? Buy a new car. Start a non-profit that will save the world. Or just a small part of it. What’s your favorite song to dance to? All of them. What would your ideal birthday party be like?

No idea.This year I went to my favorite pizza place with a couple of friends, my mom and husband. Was pretty good.

If you could be reincarnated into anything you wanted, what would it be? I’m not sure I believe in any of that. What talent would you like to have? I wish I was ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC at something. I’m good at most things, and can get by, but I’m not outstanding at any singular thing.  Are you ticklish? Nah. What’s the longest you’ve gone without sleep? 3 days or so. I basically had the flu and felt like I was dying. Not like the real flu either, theres this illness you get when your body hasn’t slept in too long. What New Year’s resolutions did you make? None. What are three songs that mean the most to you? Mayonaise by the Smashing Pumpkins, Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton and Bornand Raised by John Mayer. Someone else used these italics and I’m just running with it.

Who is the one person you miss the most? No one? What do you think of your parents? They are flawed people. I make the best out of my relationship with my mom, but I’m just not sure I want to bother with my dad. What is one thing you would do to make the world better? Instill a sense of community. People would be so much better off if we all gave a shit about the other people we are on this planet with. What is your favorite kind of sandwich? Hot, cheesy, some kind of sauce. Other than that, I’m flexible. If you had a puppy, what would you name it? I got a puppy 2 years ago and his name is Finn. We wanted a Star Wars name and Supreme Leader was the runner up name. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? I can’t think of anything I’d wanna see. What people do behind closed doors is their business lol. How much cash do you have on you right now? None. I’m in pjs, but beyond that, I rarely use cash. What do you think makes you attractive to other people? Humor or personality? Would more money make you happier? I don’t know. We have a comfortable amount now, minus paying for healthcare. Steve may have a job offer that would cover the healthcare, but would I be happy not working? Would I just turn into a loser slug? What is one of your favorite memories as a child? I really don’t know. My parents pretty much screamed and threw things all the time until my dad moved out. Then they played horrible games with me in the middle. There’s a lot of stuff I don’t even remember about being a child. I’d say the good stuff started happening when I was a teen and could seek refuge in my friends and their stable houses. I had one friend in particular, Andrew, whose mom and dad were super nice and he had a fun little sister- every time I was over there, which was VERY often, it was like a slice of the good life. What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do in your life? This was on another survey and I didn’t know how to answer it. I think once it’s done I just move on, I’m really a dweller. How do you measure intelligence? Unsure. I guess you just get a feeling for someones intelligence as you’re interacting with them.

What cartoons do you watch? None at the moment. I did just get Disney+, so that may change, but there aren’t really any cartoons I’m planning on watching. Have you ever used drugs? Nope. If you were a Skittle, what flavor would it be? The purple one. Sleeper hit. How would you describe your style? Hmmm. Casual indie bohemian with a side of lazy fat person. If you had to spend $1,000 in one hour, how would you spend it? The internet. Generally, my money goes to clothes or Halloween decorations. I really wanna buy some regular decor for the house though, so maybe that. What’s your favorite smell and why? I don’t have one. Something not flowery or overbearing. Something fresh and natural. Where do you buy your clothes? Anthropologie, ModCloth, Target, Gap, Old Navy, Loft. What’s your favorite kind of cake? Birthday cake? Funfetti? Does intelligent life exist elsewhere in the universe? I have absolutely no idea. I used to think that it was just statistically impossible that there wasn’t, but fuck I don’t even know how any of this got here, so I no longer have an opinion. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? MilkBar birthday cake. Are you into tattoos? I guess so? I like the art of them, I follow a lot of tattoo people on instagram and keep up with their work. I just got my first tattoo a week ago and I’m 35, so it’s not like something I do a lot, ha ha. Do you like photography? I do. I have illusions that I’m a photographer sometimes. I should be currently editing a wedding right now, but here I am. I’m just not sure I’ll ever be the kind of photographer I’d like to be, so I don’t know what I wanna do with it going forward. If you were a holiday, which one would you be? Halloween 100% Do you have any siblings? Nope. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it be of? I just got one. It’s a bat pusheen. I really wanted a bat of some sort and pusheen is my favorite so I just went for it. I always thought my bat tattoo would be a little more dark, but it is what it is lol. What’s the biggest celebrity you’ve ever seen in real life? I hid behind a dumpster when I was like 14 and 3 of the Backstreet Noys walked right by me, ha ha. I have some photos with me and the guys from Good Charlotte from when I was a wee teenybopper. How many pushups can you do? Absolutely zero. What person in history do you admire most? None? I don’t think I admire anyone. These surveys are quickly informing me that I don’t believe in anything or look up to anyone. Am I inert? Who is your favorite actor? I don’t have one. Ha ha, see above. I like most of the stuff Chris Pratt is in. Robery Downey Jr as Iron Man is iconic, but I’ve never seen any of his other movies. I like Adam Driver in Girls and Star Wars. What is the most daring thing that you have done in public? Spoke. Have you ever lied about your age? I don’t think I’ve ever had cause to. Have you ever cried while watching a movie? If so, what movie? For sure. Everything makes me tear up in my old age. Last movie was probably Endgame, though. Are you afraid of anything that most people are not afraid of? Not like huge, life changing fears, but I’m always afraid a bug will get caught in my hair and I can’t touch drains because they freak me out. Where do you see yourself five years from now? I’ve never been one to make plans. Hopefully happy with more direction. What is your favorite candy? Fun Dip, Nerds, Starburst. Have you ever watched someone struggle with addiction? Not someone suer close, but there are lots of auxillary people I know that have and do. Who do you look up to for your style? No one in particular. I see things on the internet I like and try to incorporate that, but its always varied sources. Who is your favorite sports team? I don’t follow sports. How often do you drink alcohol? Once every two weeks? Even then, its usually just one drink with dinner. I don’t much care about drinking. It seems like a lot of work to fill myself up with something I don’t really like the taste of just so I can potentially feel bad later.  What is your life in three words? Evolving yet bland. If you could be anything in the world, what would you be? I knew that, I’d be working towards it. Would you have a pet dragon? If so what color would it be? Sure. Whatever color dragon is fine with me. What’s your favorite sport? The only one I even kind of pretend to care about is baseball. Do you believe that homeless people are dangerous? No.  If you could be skinny and miserable or fat and happy, which would you be? I’d always pick happy. If your life flashed before you, what do you wish you would have done? Hmmm, I don’t know. I don’t have like any huge regret at the moment so probably just wish I’d have enjoyed myself more. If you were to invent something, what would it be? Hopefully something that makes the world better. Some kind of climate change related thing?  Who would you like to get to know better? This wholesaler real estate guy that has been selling us properties. Maybe if we knew him better, he would give us better deals, lol. Have you ever had a near-death experience? Near drowning when I was seven. Do you fear death? Yep.  What is the strangest food you ever ate? Hmmm. I like food with interesting combinations. Like smelly cheese or beet pesto or something, but I’m not on board with weird meat and I don’t eat seafood. Do you think you’re cool? Nah. What reality show would you like to be on? None. I don’t watch any of them. The only show like that I ever watched was the Osbournes, ah aha. What’s your favorite thing to order at a Chinese food restaurant? Whatever is gluten free. Ususally no choices for me at most chinese places. PF Changs has pad thai and general tsos I can have and another place nearby has general tsos too, but thats about it.

I loved lo mein and crab rangoon in my former life, though. Are you happy with your life? For the most part. If you could name your own planet, what would you call it? I’d need some plantary details before coming up with a name. If you could live another 200 years. What would you hope to see? People learning that we need to work together. Would you rather be hot or cold? Well, I’m cold like 90% of the time and that sucks, but at least you can do something about it and layer up and get blankets and such- if you’re hot, you’re just stuck. How would you rate yourself? What am I rating here? I’m like a 0 at makeup skills, but like an 11 if you need someone to pick you up in an emergency. 10 at playlist making. 1 at doing the dishes. Would you ever move to a different country in an attempt to start over? Maybe not to “start over”, but I would definitely consider a dream job in another country if all the details worked out. If you could be a character from any book, who would you be? No idea. I read a lot of Stephen King and none of those characters are alright.  Do you prefer taking baths or showers? I’d love to take a bath, but I’m a little big for the tub. Do you still collect toys from Happy Meals? Nope. I never ate happy meals even as a kid, so I never did. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? I drove two states over for a sandwich once. It was like a 15 hour round trip. In your opinion what is the greatest challenge the world faces today? People being willing to fuck over every one else if they think it will benefit them in any tiny, miniscule way. You are destroying everything by being an asshole and letting the people that really have all the money get away with it. Do you like dogs or cats better? I was 100% cat until I got a dog 2 years ago. I’m mostly dog at this point. Don’t tell my cat. What have you achieved that you once thought was impossible? Hmm, I don’t know. I’m a lot better off than my parents were. I just kind of thought the constant worrying about the car breaking down or the bills being paid was grown up life, so its nice to get here and know that I worked hard to not have those problems. If an ex texted you out of the blue, how would you respond? I don’t think I would. I’ve been with Steven for a decade, so theres def nothing that needs to be said to anyone that far back. Do you have a favorite poet? I don’t. I really like some poems I’ve read randomly in my internet travels, but I’ve never really been able to sit down and read a book of poetry. What have you tried to quit, but weren’t able to? Eating too much food? Would you rather go on a shopping spree with $200 or put it in the bank? I’d rather go shopping. I might save it, though. What was the last rumor that you heard? No idea. I don’t really have rumors around me at this point in my life. My friends aren’t like that and I’m not working anywhere at the moment. What country star would you most like to meet and why? I don’t really know who any of them are. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. One of them happened when I was like 15 and it pinched a nerve in my neck and half of my left hand went numb. My mom didn’t believe me for a really long time that there was something wrong until she watched me try to pick up a glass of milk with my left hand and it just fell to the floor. Are you an organ donor? Yes! What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done? Unsure. I’m fairly adventurous, but I don’t do super dangerous things. I guess just trespassing in old abandoned buildings when I was younger could have been dangerous. What is the meaning of life? Moments of joy. For you and others. What word do you like the sound of? Nothing in particular jumps out to me. Isn’t Cellar Door supposed to be lovely? What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Hmmm. I don’t know. Its more about the brand I think. I usually get Jeni’s or the other fancy ice cream brand when I get the chance. 

I always get the cake flavored froyo, though.  Do you prefer cupcakes or muffins? Cupcakes. Are you an athlete? Ha ha, no. What did the last text message on your phone say? From my brother in law. He’s doing the work on the house we just bought, getting it ready for a renter. He wants more money, lol. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen in your whole entire lifetime? Man, I don’t know. I think maybe Grandma’s Boy was the funniest I had seen at the time. I usually don’t even like movies like that. What’s the worst nightmare you’ve ever had? I had this dream when I was a kid that I left the scissors out and they flew up and cut my moms fingers off and the whole dream was dark and black and white because it was night, but at the end, she picked up the phone (landline, because cell phones weren’t a thing then) and the only color was the green light coming from the phone that illuminated the numbers and she was trying to dial 911 with her fingers that weren’t there. 

I probably had that dream close to 30 years ago now and it’s still clear in my mind. 

What do you know how to cook? Lots of things. I’m especially good at carbonara or alfredo. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had, and what was it from? I fell down the stairs and broke several bones, severely sprained both ankles and ended up getting surgery to fix the cartilage in one ankle. What’s your favorite amusement park ride? Any that my fat ass can fit on. What do you wish you were doing right now? Well i’m doing this instead of things I should be doing. Who are your musical influences? I don’t play music, so I’m not really influenced? What was your favorite band or musician when you were 12? The Smashing Pumpkins, Bush, Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson and the Back Street Boys, ha ha. What’s the best pick-up line that’s ever been tried on you? I don’t think anyone has ever given me one. How many drinks can you handle? I don’t really know at this point. Getting older changes things. I know that if I have one drink and then stop, I get a headache, lol. What was the longest phone conversation you’ve ever had? Hours and hours. Like 7 or 8 probably? Back in my day you could only talk to boys on the phone because we didn’t have cell phones or text messaging and you only had dial up internet. What’s your favorite candle scent? I got one from Anthropologie called Riviera that was my favorite candle scent ever. I bought two, but they are sold out now and I am very sad.

[writing-creativo]

The Other Amelia Littlebug

Note: This is a bit longer than ususal (2k) so idk if i should post things like this in parts or not but hEY i didn’t

“From: Océane Duval

23 Rue des Loups, Rouen

France

To: Amelia Littlebug

Berliner Straße, Frankfurt

Germany

 October 14th, 1947

 Dear Amy,

I hope this letter finds you well, wherever you are. I write it as an announcement.

I finally did as I promised the last time we spoke. I came back to Rouen.

But oh Bug, it is no longer the city we loved. It’s broken, injured by bullets and cannons and what didn’t crumble was left to burn. The right side of the cathedral was eaten by the flames, but they are now repairing it. Everyone is doing whatever they can to help, but perhaps we should help ourselves first.

But have no worries, your house still stands, as beautiful as ever, in the middle of the hills. From up here it’s as if I’m watching hell from above. I am not sure it was my wisest decision to come back here, but a promise is a promise. And Baptiste was so happy to see me! You should have seen his face, I had never seen him smile like that. I wouldn’t have known he was capable of such emotions.

I wish you were here too darling, it all feels empty without you.

Yours always,

Océane”

 Amelia Littlebug read the letter twice. And then twice again. The wrinkly paper, yellowed by time, sat on the kitchen table, side by side with a bunch of bills invoices.

How could it be that someone was writing directly to her, from the year 1947? Was it lost mail? Did someone find a letter directed to somebody with an equally amusing name, and decided to pull a prank?

They were all logical questions and equally reasonable responses to the situation, but none of them crossed Amelia’s head. It was not the type of thing that would ever cross Amelia’s head, particularly known for illogical and equally unreasonable thoughts. However, she was deeply fascinated by who this Océane was. Why she went back. What promises she made. Was she helping rebuild the city as well? Was Baptiste a family member? The gardener, perhaps? Or the housekeeper?

She didn’t recognize anything in the letter besides her own name and address. Except that it wasn’t her name, it was yet another Amelia Littlebug, blessed with the same showstopper title.

It was clearly French though. From the ocean sounding names, to the location, and references to the war. Two mysteries solved.

The letter was illogically and unreasonably put up on the wall, as if on display, so that lovely Amelia could look at it every day.

To be fair, she didn’t have many friends to text or message her. But she now had Océane sending her a whole letter. Perhaps not sent to her, she was aware, but it was sent to her address, so she was entitled to call herself Amy Bug.

“From: Océane Duval

23 Rue des Loups, Rouen

France

To: Amelia Littlebug

Berliner Straße, Frankfurt

Germany

 November 1st, 1947

 Dear Amy,

I am not sure of what to say or what to tell you. You know I’m not the greatest with words, you have always been far better than me.

All we want is some sense of normality, a piece of our old lives. But it doesn’t seem like we will have back it any time soon.

I’m working as an accountant again, but I haven’t been charging, it wouldn’t feel right to. It feels good to be busy again but going into town is far from pleasant. Coming back home at the end of the day could be a relief, but Baptiste has been having nightmares. He cries and shouts in bed, so neither of us have been getting a lot of sleep.

I’m so tired Bug. And I miss you, still. I will always miss you.

Yours always,

Océane.”

 71 years later, a second letter sat once again on Amelia Littlebug’s table. This time, it left her disturbed. But many things left Amelia Littlebug disturbed. Shadows: long nights, loud noises, the wind blowing outside... However, it was perhaps logical for her to be distressed this time around.

She spent the whole day thinking about it. Unable to read and reread it again, like she had previously done with the first correspondence. Had Amy answered the other letter? If so, why wasn’t she receiving it too?

It wouldn’t have been the first time that Amelia Littlebug googled her own name, but this time she had a reasonable motive to do so. But no results mentioning 1947, or Ruen, or Océane Duval. Nothing that resembled anything mentioned in the letters.

The letter was hanged bellow its predecessor. Amelia sat and stared at them a lot, not reading, just staring. Was it just her imagination again? Was she seeing things, hearing things? Had she started reading things now? The thought made her laugh a little. The voices had done a lot to her, but they had never kept her company. But deep down, she was enjoying receiving messages from the past. What if is she really was Amy Bug? What if the letters were properly addressed and Océane was writing to her, with seven decades of delay? Could she see and hear things too? Where was she now? was she still alive?

 “From: Océane Duval

23 Rue des Loups, Rouen

France

To: Amelia Littlebug

Berliner Straße, Frankfurt

Germany

 November 10th, 1947

 Dear Amy,

As you may know, today is my birthday. I am offended you didn’t even get me a card!

Baptiste bought me chocolate cake and a bracelet, which I know was expensive, but he won’t admit it. I don’t like it when he does these things. I know he enjoys my company, but I have been enjoying my loneliness more lately.

Things are moving slowly at work, but I already have more costumers. Some of them even remember me from before! They sometimes ask about you as well, but I don’t quite know what to tell them. What do I tell them, Amy?

Yours always,

Océane”

 Océane seemed bitter and angry. Was it because of her birthday? And what about Amy, where was she, after all? Does Océane not know it either?

It was the third letter Amelia had received. It was hanged above the first one.

She started questioning her own reason now. She promised herself she would never do that, but there she was. Were the letters even real at all? She tried clearing everything up by taking them to the post office but half way there she realised they had no stamp. They couldn’t have been delivered by regular mail.

What if it was someone mocking her? What if this was what they wanted her to think? What did they want her to do? Reasonable questions were starting to pop up in her mind. But she had never been very reasonable.

She had crossed miles and countries, so that there was no one to mock or prank her. She had left everything and ran away so she could be herself by herself. No one talking about the silly things she said or pocking fun of the things she talked about. They had ever believed her. They wouldn’t believe her now. But they weren’t here now. So who would pull a prank on a girl nobody knew?

“From: Océane Duval

23 Rue des Loups, Rouen

France

To: Amelia Littlebug

Berliner Straße, Frankfurt

Germany

 December 25th, 1947

 Dear Amy,

I write to wish you a Merry Christmas, surrounded by the best people and things.

I didn’t want to celebrate Christmas this year, I wasn’t quite sure what there was to celebrate, but Baptiste was very much against it. He put up all the lights and decorations by himself while I was at work. I barely knew which house was ours when I arrived.

I had forgotten how much Baptiste used to love this time of the year but, to be quite honest, his joy is contagious. He keeps telling stories of all the Christmases we spent together and all the pranks he used to pull on us (As if we were ever bothered!) but then he stops and cries. He just cries. I know he can’t help it, but he is such a crier now, Bug. I miss it when he was always grumpy and angry at us.

I know I haven’t written you in a while, but I think it’s better when I don’t. So don’t just sit around and wait for my letters, alright?

Yours always,

Océane”

 It was all clear now. Baptiste, Océane and Amy were family. Or perhaps family friends. He isn’t the gardener, the house is probably his too! But why did Océane stop writing? Why wont she write anymore? She seems angrier and angrier by the letter.

And now Amelia had no more space on her wall to put it up. She left it in a drawer instead, but it didn’t leave her thought.

Who would deliver mail on Christmas day? Who would be home, alone and ready to receive it? She was. But neither made sense. Nothing made sense.

So if nothing made sense anymore, Amelia Littlebug decided to do a senseless thing. She drove herself to France, Rue des Loupes in Rouen.

On that same morning she grabbed the letters, packed some food and water, and drove 6 long hours to Paris, and 2 hours more to Rouen. It was insane, of course it was. But it wouldn’t be the first time Amelia was called insane. Not even by herself.

As she arrived, she saw the towers of the churches standout in the middle of the trees. One of them was the cathedral Océane had mentioned, probably completely rebuilt by now. She had pictured a war thorn town, completely alienated from 21st century, forgetting her own reality.

Only when she realised that she was all alone in a country she didn’t know, in a city she never visited, not knowing how to say a full sentence in French, did she understand the absurdness of her insanity. It was self-sabotage, as it had always been.

She stopped, parked her car, and took a deep breath. The world wasn’t that big after all, was it? I mean, she was receiving letters from 1947 Rouen.

Amelia walked out into the street and then into a small coffee shop. She sat in the back, listening, for quite some time.

-Do you speak English? German? - She asked the cashier.

-Little bit, yes! – The old man laughed and she smiled in return, while handing him a paper.

-I’m looking for that address, do you know where it is? I didn’t bring my phone with me, or I would have… – It was a sudden realisation. Illogical. Unreasonable.

Luckily, the man did know where it was. And he carefully explained it to her, so well that it was no effort driving there. It was as if someone else had their hands on the wheel. As if a voice was telling her where to go, which turn to take.

After about 10 minutes of driving, she stopped at an old house. At an old street, to be precise. It didn’t seem like anyone was there, nobody lived there.

The number 6 looked beautiful in style and architecture. Or she imagined it would have once looked, because now the windows were broken, covered in concrete. The front door was ripped apart, barely standing.

It was not where she imagined her prankster pen pal would live. Where anyone would live. But she took the liberty to walk inside. And it didn’t take much effort to get rid of the last stripes of wood blocking the way in.

The house was empty, but Amelia had never felt so full, so whole. And she heard it so clearly now, the voice. She told her to leave, please, to walk away. And if Amelia Littlebug had ever been good at something, it was at doing what she was told.

So she walked out. Staring at the old building again. It all felt pointless. The letters, coming here… All to be told to leave. But she didn’t get in the car right away. She could hear them, the other ones.

She walked down the street, into an old rusty gate. It was a cemetery. Amelia got in, without the fear or reluctance a logical and reasonable person would feel. She felt herself being guided. She knew where she was going even though she couldn’t tell you if you asked. And then she stopped.

She sat down next to a grave, her eyes watering a bit. Her fingers touched the engraved letters on stone.

“Amelia Littlebug

1926-1945

Victime des bombardements de ‘44”

No French skills were needed to know what that meant. Amelia got up. The living Amelia.

And she walked a bit further. Now she understood. It was simpler than she had made it out to be, it always is.

“Océane Duval

1925-1947”

  “From: Amelia Littlebug

Berliner Straße, Frankfurt

Germany

To: Océane Duval

23 Rue des Loups, Rouen

France

  December 27th, 2018

 Dear Océane,

I hope this letter finds you well, wherever you are.

I write to tell you that I appreciated your letters, very much. And that I have delivered them safely. I left them to her with a couple of flowers (she mentioned she liked sunflowers) and I know she’ll find them so don’t worry about it. I know how much you loved and cared about her, she told me that too.

However, I beg you to please stop corresponding with me. I am Amelia Claire Littlebug from London, now living in Frankfurt, not your Amy Bug.

Yours Sincerely,

The Other Amelia Littlebug”

[dreambot]

100 QUESTIONS NO ONE ASKS

Tagged by @batsysims thank u love

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? OK SO listen my closets in the bathroom and at my old house i had a small room so my desk was in the closet sO

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? I ususally cant use them but yeah i take them anyways lmfao

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? out ig

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? not yet

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? I used the online ones for a while

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? No but i take them from those dispenser thingies in the market

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? bear maybe i can TALK SOME SENSE INTO EM

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? Yes i used to hate them now theyre ok lmao

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? I hate taking photos 

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? idk everything pisses me off tbh

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? If im walking rlly far ill start 2

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? no

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? I dont do that

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? nah

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? yea but usually without noticing 

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? wouldnt u like 2 kno

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? Queen?? i think or king. idk. 

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? Ive been diggin phantogram lately so probably “Black out Days” or “Same Old Blues” 

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? yeah wear whatever

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? me and my bf watch stuff sometimes, like adventure time and a few other chill ones

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? SAW FUCKING SUCKED I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED AND YEA I KNOW IM LATE 2 THE PARTY

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? I have no idea

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? Lemonade/cerveza/ anything but water

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? I’m a vegetarian 

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? idk I drink a lot of coffee tho i know that dsnt count

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? Scott pilgrim or heathers

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? mi cat  ❤

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? no

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? If I was single

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? Oh gosh, probably never lmao

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? No im useless

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? not yet

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? no but ive come very close

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? just plain pb is fine 2bh i dnt get to eat fancy things

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? i love eggs and bagels eee

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? It changes ALL the time. Today I went to sleep at 6am

37. ARE YOU LAZY? Yeah i guess so i worked out fr a little while

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? It was always basic bitch things like cats and witches

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? Dragon

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? English fluently but I was learning Spanish and Russian

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? used to have gameinformers

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? legosss

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? yes lmao

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? I dont watch either

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? nope

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? Yeah like rlly scared 

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? yeah most of the time 

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? nope

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? nada

50. EVER USED A GUN? No, but I wanted to go shooting. Due to certain circumstances I wasnt allowed by law to use a gun for some years

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? uhm do those school ones count

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? some of them r good, others r a little too much. Wicked was good, the one with green day and heathers is probably good but i nede 2 watch it

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? Yeah I hate buying ppl stuff

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? Noooooooooo 

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? IDK most of them i love pie

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? I wanted to be an artist than an animator for a long time but now im older i woudl like to be a forensic pathologist but an attainable goal would most like be a barista/pet groomer

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? no srry

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? yes i had it at the sme time as someone else it was freaky

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY?

I used to but i gave up

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS?

no i wear socks all the time

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? no

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? whatever i wore that day lmao

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? Marilyn Manson/ Smashing Pumpkins

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? Ive never been to a kmart i dont know where a walmart is but i luv target lmao

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? IDK whichever one is more ~aesthetic

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? i like hot cheetos

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? sunflower seeds

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? Nope but they must be good im keepin @tickledsims and @batsysims response to keep the dream alive

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? Yes i was in dance lessons for a few years and performed a lot

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? whatever he wants 2 do lmao

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? no

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? I thought they were fake honestly

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? i think

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? no but i rlly want 2

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? i plan on buying one soon

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? no I cant be arounf scents/ fragrance rip

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? im in love right now  ❤

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? The front bottoms r my everything

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? only been to one so marilyn manson/smashing pumpkins

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? hot

81. TEA OR COFFEE? coffee I LIVE OFF COFFEE

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? sugar cookies ive never had snickerdoodles

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i can swim OK

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? yes

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? depends

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? band but i dont rlly care tbh i dnt like weddings

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? a few times and i cant remember any of them lmfao

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? not yet, maybe one day 89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? black

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? i can knit but i cant crochet rip

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? living room?

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? Yes im in love w my boyf  ❤

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? negative none

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? I didnt rlly have crushes 

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? kinda

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? god no

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? no no no

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? blue

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? i dnt miss anyone rn i can talk to the ppl i care abt atm

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT?

any1 who wants to do this 

[salzspektrum]

I was tagged by @seiya-starsniper Thanks!

Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and then tag ten blogs you would like to get to know better. Nickname: Jos, Josi, Josy, Josus, Josuf and so on Star Sign: Libra Height: 5′7 I think idek American measurements tbh Time Right Now: around 8 pm at the time when this will be posted Favourite Music Artist: ugh so many but mostly FOB, TOP, MCR, basically the Tumblr Classics^TM. Here’s a full list of stuff that I listen to if you’re interested: http://salt-throne.tumblr.com/music Song Stuck In Your Head: Psycho - Muse Last TV Show You Watched: I think Arrow? idk it’s been a few days but I’m pretty sure it’s Arrow. What Are You Wearing Right Now: Blue sweatpants and a black shirt with the Batman logo on it, also bright pink socks bc why not lmao What Do You Post: look I made pages so that y’all can know what kind of stuff I reblog and I even update it regularly. It gives me the feeling that my blog may not be as messy as I think it is lol. Tv shows: http://salt-throne.tumblr.com/tv%20shows and here’s fandoms in general: http://salt-throne.tumblr.com/fandoms

Do You Have Any Other Blogs / Saved URL’s: erm yep I have an aesthetic sideblog @laughing-storm and a Britney Spears fanblog that I ironically started with @immortalpsychocat and it’s called @gimme-more-britney . I swear it started as a joke. I don’t think I have any saved URL’s but maybe I forgot about some. Why Did You Choose Your URL: I love Asoiaf and I love House Greyjoy and salt throne just sounds better than seastone chair imo. Also, I’m a really salty person so it fits my personality too. Do You Get Asks Regularly: When I reblog those ask games I ususally get asks and I’m really happy about that bc I love getting asks, please give me attention I’m pathetic

Hogwarts House: proud Hufflepuff Pokémon Team: Instinct, apparently. I know shit about pokemon sorry haha. Favourite Colour: just all shades of blue, from light to dark, I just love blue

Average Hours Of Sleep: either 2-4 or 10-14 hours. There’s no in between, my sleep cycle is THAT fucked up. Favourite Characters: afsgvnsavae idek, there’s just too many, I can’t choose any faves. Probably the ones that I freak out the most in my tags? How Many Blankets Do You Sleep With: currently just one Following: 253 quality blogs rn Tagging:  @gwendoline @bellarke2k17 @swordoftimeandspace @bisexuallaurellance