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the-bau-quinjet · 4 years ago

Note

heyyy. I know you’ve been doing marvel a lot, but if you could do one with morgan and the reader? Based on amplification and it’s the reader who gets sick instead. thanks!

Finally

Warnings: some mentions of being sick (cause... you know... anthrax), angst and fluff :)

Word Count: 2735

a/n: My first Morgan fic!! I love him so much! This one took me a while because 1) I feel like I'm not that good at rewriting episodes, and 2) I wanted to get Derek's character right. Hopefully it's not too terrible! I hope you enjoy!! :)

Masterlist

"Rossi, Prentiss head to his office. Morgan, get Reid and L/N from the hospital and check out his house." Hotch instructed as soon as Dr. Nichols was deemed a reasonable suspect.

It wasn't long before you, Reid, and Morgan were pulling up outside of Dr. Nichols house.

"It's clear so far. I'll let you know when we're done checking." One of the CDC techs said through a walkie.

"We should look around a bit." Reid started down the driveway, gesturing for you and Morgan to follow.

"Ow!" You flinched away from the rose bush, shaking your hand in an attempt to lessen the pain.

"You good?" Morgan eyed you, overly concerned about a small scrape.

"I'm fine. Promise." You winked, walking past him and Reid to check for anything out of the ordinary in the backyard.

"I don't understand why you haven't asked her out yet." Reid looked between you and Morgan. Unfortunately, Morgan was saved from answering by the sound of his phone ringing.

"Hey, princess what do you have?" Morgan greeted Garcia, glaring at Reid.

You continued to explore while Derek and Reid talked to Garcia. It wasn't until after you entered the shed-like building that you thought maybe the CDC should check for anthrax out here too.

By then it was too late.

"L/N?" You could hear Morgan calling you. "Y/N!" It was clear him and Reid were approaching the door you just walked through.

You ran back to the sliding glass door, slamming it shut and locking it before either of them could stop you.

"What's wrong?" He frantically ran up to the door.

"Get back! No, don't come any closer." Your eyes flitted between the two agents, landing solely on Derek when you muttered, "I'm sorry."

"Y/N, open the door..." Derek's typically powerful voice nearly broke as he watched you shake your head.

"I can't. I- I'm already exposed." You shook your head resolutely, convincing yourself this was the right move. "I'll look for anything that could help in here. It's the best move."

"Y/N, you need to go to the hospital." Derek put more power behind his words with hopes of convincing you.

"The hospital won't do anything for me. Nichols could've made a cure, and if he did it's probably in here." You tore your eyes from Derek, hoping Spencer would help you convince him. "Reid, tell him I'm right."

He looked conflicted, eyes flitting between you and Derek.

"She's right. The cipro isn't working on anyone infected. Her best chance is to stay in there and find something useful." Reid looked reluctantly at Derek.

"Then you better find a cure in there." Derek whispered, eyes lingering on you before he finally turned away to call Hotch.

"Morgan, Reid. How's L/N?" Hotch questioned immediately, forgoing any greeting.

"White powder all over the room and the air was blasting." Morgan responded quickly. He made brief eye contact with Hotch before turning to walk back to the door.

The general barked out instructions for a decontamination team and cordoning off the area.

"Get her in the ambulance." Hotch directed Morgan and Reid.

"She won't." Morgan felt his heart rate increase at the thought of you staying in there any longer. "Said she's more helpful inside than in the hospital."

"Nichols is dead, looks to be about 2-3 days." Reid added on.

Just then Hotch's phone rang.

"L/N?" He answered on speaker.

"I really messed up this time." You let out a dry laugh.

"You need to get to the hospital." Hotch tried to argue.

"I know Morgan and Reid already told you I won't go. There could be answers in here." Your stubbornness was showing. "I need to figure out who killed Nichols."

"Y/N-" You cut Morgan off before he could try to convince you to leave.

"I think he had a partner." You decided to refocus the conversation on the case rather than yourself.

"I'll get Rossi and Prentiss to ask at his office." Hotch sighed in resignation.

"Good, I'll keep looking at everything in here."

You hung up before anyone could argue further. You shoved your phone into your pocket, immediately going back to look through papers and lab equipment around the room.

As you worked inside, you could hear the CDC team setting up outside.

Watching through the windows as people in full hazmat suits prepared to enter the room you were in made everything feel more real.

You pulled your phone swiftly out of your pocket dialling the number you knew by heart.

"Hi." Garcia's voice was quiet when she answered the phone.

"No funky greeting? I'm feeling a little jipped." You tried to joke with her, but it fell flat.

"I can't be my normal, bubbly self when you are where you are." Again, her voice was quiet.

"Garcia, can you do something for me?" Your voice was steady, masking the emotion about to pour out of you.

"What? Tell me what to do and I'll do it." She frantically moved around her desk, ready to do anything you requested.

"You know how a few weeks ago, you were joking about my crush on Morgan?" You asked slowly.

"The one you swore didn't exist? I remember." Her voice was laced with confusion at your topic change.

"Well, um, do you think you could record a message for him?" Your breaths were unsteady as you thought about saying goodbye.

"But you're gonna be fine." She spoke with authority, as if saying it made it true.

"I know, but, um... just in case. I want him to hear it at least once." Your voice broke.

"Okay. Um, whenever you're ready." She listened as you spoke to Derek.

"Hi Derek. Um, I kind of have a secret to tell you, but first I want you to know this isn't your fault. I'm the idiot who walked into the lab. It's on me. I guess I just want to make sure you hear this from me at least once." You cleared your throat, thick from emotion.

"I, uh, I think I'm maybe, just a little bit, um... in love with you." You felt the tears fall from your cheeks. "You're my best friend. You've always been there for me when cases hit a little too close to home or even if I'm just having a bad day. You never fail to make me smile, no matter how hard I'm trying not to."

You wiped at your cheeks roughly, trying to focus on the message.

"I've wanted to tell you for a while, but I never knew how. I guess I'm glad I walked in here for one reason. It finally pushed me to tell you how I feel."

You chuckled again, but there was no humor in it.

"I'm, ah, I'm really sorry if this is goodbye." You paused, unsure if you had anything left to say.

"Y/N?" Garcia questioned if you were still on the line.

"Prep the victim for transfer." You could hear Dr. Kimura entering the room, preparing to begin treating you.

"I've got to go." You hung up without another word, trying to rid your face of any evidence of the tears before facing the doctor.

"How are you feeling?" She questioned once you were in view.

"I'm actually feeling okay." You nodded, trying to convince yourself it was true. She eyed you like she didn't believe you, but nodded with you anyway.

"Alright, how can I help?"

You spent the next few minutes explaining Dr. Nichols profile. Dr. Kimura set off to look for the cure while you continued trying to figure out who killed Nichols.

"L/N, stick with me." Morgan's voice sounded through your phone, drawing your attention away from the stack of papers in your hand. "Prentiss and Rossi don't think the partner is from work."

"Okay, um..." You went back to the bigger desk. "He's got course syllabi and outlines dating back to the 80s." You glanced around the room, eyes catching on the other desk.

"A student..." You trailed off, mind moving a mile a minute.

"Talk to me." Morgan drew your attention again.

"Derek, I think it's a student. There's two desks, different organization on both. The smaller one has what looks like a dissertation that Nichols could've been grading. He wouldn't open his lab to a scientist, but he might for educational purposes." You prattled on, more and more information fitting the theory.

"I'll get Garcia to look at science students." Morgan gestured for Hotch to call Garcia. He was about to hang up when you corrected him.

"Wait! The paper, it's more about social policies surrounding an anthrax attack, not the actual science of it." You spoke quickly, trying to hold in an impending cough.

"Okay, political science and social studies majors then." Morgan trailed off, waiting for your response.

"Good. That's good." You coughed slightly, listening to the sound of his breathing.

"Garcia's got a match." Hotch nodded to Morgan before heading toward the SUVs.

"Y/N, you got everything you could in there. Now get the hell out." He practically begged.

"Sure thing, Derek. Bye." You hung up right as Dr. Kimura walked back toward you.

"His inhaler! It could have the cure, right?" She looked to you for approval.

"They're checking out Brown's house." Derek watched as they hosed you down.

"Go help them." You coughed slightly, wincing at the cool water.

"They've got plenty of help. I'm staying with you." His eyes never left yours.

"Please." You looked him in the eye. "They're about to strip me naked and hose me down. As much as I know that's something you want to see, I don't think I look my best right now." You joked, watching the way he averted his eyes slightly.

"Y/N, I-" You cut him off again.

"I know." You smiled softly, gesturing for him to go. "Now go help catch him." You kept your eyes on him until he was out of sight.

Turning back to the conversation happening in front of you, you watched as Dr. Kimura instructed another hazmat team member to get the inhaler tested for the cure.

"It makes sense for the inhaler to have the cure." Your mind felt fuzzy as you thought it over. You moved to grab your head, something catching the attention of the doctor.

"Agent L/N, did you cut your hand?" You glanced at your hand, remembering the rose bush outside. You nodded, eyes widening ever so slightly at the now blistering cut on your hand.

"Let's move." You were quickly cleaned of any lingering traces of anthrax before she directed you into the waiting ambulance. "Are you still feeling fine?" She questioned while taking your vitals.

"I'm doing great. I flea foon. I fill fon." You muttered, eyes rolling back in your head.

"Driver, faster!" She called to the front of the ambulance as you started coughing blood.

"Are you eating my jello?" You cleared your throat as you eyed Derek sitting next to your bed.

"Yes I am." He stared directly into your eyes as he ate another spoonful.

"Well, is there more?" You pouted, eyes still lingering on the cup in Derek's hands. He laughed in response.

"What happened?" You slowly moved to sit up, eyes flitting around the various machines in your room.

"The cure was in the inhaler. The other patients are in recovery, and you are going to be just fine." The way he smiled when he said 'just fine' had your heart aching. He just looked so relieved.

"Brown?" You continued your line of questioning.

"We got him. It's over." Derek's soft smile remained, eyes flitting around your body as if he were making sure you were actually okay.

"Well, that's a relief." You took a deep breath. "There's actually something I want to tell you."

He raised a brow, a small smirk playing at the edges of his mouth.

"Oh, yeah? Does Garcia know anything about this?"

You felt the blood rush to your cheeks, eyes widening in horror that he had already heard the message. "Oh, um, I mean, technically yes. I didn't- I wouldn't have told her before you if I didn't think I might die!" Your voice was rising in pitch, panic surging through your body.

"Woah, babygirl, slow down." His previous smirk shifted into another look of concern, although he still let out a small chuckle. "She just told me to ask you about a message. That's all."

"Oh." Your mouth stayed in the 'o' shape for longer than necessary, your body's way of stalling what you were about to say. "You haven't heard the message?"

"Nope." He said with a pop. "Care to enlighten me?"

"Well, I guess I have to since you brought it up." You rolled your eyes, messing with him.

"Hey, now! You started it." He clearly had you beat, so you just blurted it out.

"I think I love you!" You threw your hands over your mouth, eyes wide now that you'd confessed to your best friend that you're in love with him.

"That's what the message said. I thought- I mean there was a strong possibility that I was going to die. I didn't want that to happen without me having told you how I actually feel."

Your eyes were focused on the edges of the hospital blanket where your fingers were twisting a loose thread.

"Can I hear it?" His question confused you, causing you to look at him with a furrowed brow. "The message I mean?"

You nodded slowly, texting Garcia to see if she could send it to you. The chime of a text coming in happened almost instantly. You didn't hesitate to hit play on the recording.

I, uh, I think I'm maybe, just a little bit, um... in love with you. You're my best friend. You've always been there for me when cases hit a little too close to home or even if I'm just having a bad day. You never fail to make me smile, no matter how hard I'm trying not to.

I've wanted to tell you for a while, but I never knew how. I guess I'm glad I walked in here for one reason. It finally pushed me to tell you how I feel.

I'm, ah, I'm really sorry if this is goodbye."

The message cut off abruptly at that point.

You could feel your heart pounding as if it were trying to escape your chest.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize it sounded so sad." You smiled, though your eyes were watery. "I mean, I guess it makes sense since I thought you would only hear it if I died." You continued rambling, eyes looking anywhere but at Derek.

"Y/N?" He prevented you from muttering any other embarrassing words.

"Yeah?" You winced, trying to prepare yourself for his rejection.

"I love you too."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any-" You abruptly stopped, the words you heard finally catching up with your brain.

"You- you love me too?" You whispered, eyes finally meeting his.

"I do." His smile was wider than you've ever seen, and so, so pure.

"Oh." Your mind was having a hard time comprehending the gravity of what just happened. Luckily for you, Derek knew exactly what was going on when he leaned in to kiss you.

It took a second for your body to respond, but as soon as it did you could feel the butterflies swarming in your stomach.

Despite how new it was, everything felt right in the world when you were kissing Derek Morgan.

He only pulled back when you gently pushed him away, a wide smile on your face as you sucked in deep breaths of air. The two of you stared at each other lovingly, just enjoying the presence of one another.

The sound of a throat clearing coming from the doorway shocked you out of your trance. Reid stood leaning against the doorframe, a smirk on his face. He uttered one word, perfectly encapsulating your own feelings on the situation.

"Finally."

permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman @madewithsebstan @sebastnstn

Criminal Minds tag list:

@mac99martin @goldeng1rl8 @measure-in-pain

#derek morgan x reader #derek morgan x you #derek morgan x y/n #derek morgan #derek morgan fic #criminal minds fic #derek morgan fluff #derek morgan one shot #derek morgan angst

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anabsolutetrainwreck · 4 years ago

Text

through the warning signs || h. styles

warnings: a couple of swears, mentions of covid

word count: 3.1k

summary: you first met harry on the set of dunkirk, but now you’re reunited on the set of his new film...

Films had always fascinated you. The endless possibilities of art you could create, from the cinematography to the mise en scène, even to the sound, had always blown your mind. So, even from an early age, you always knew you wanted to get into filmmaking somehow. You were perhaps the worst actor to ever grace the planet, so acting was never an option for you. But alas, you studied film studies in school and went to university for the very same thing. At first, you’d considered becoming a cinematographer, but you realised you could entwine your love of film production and fashion. So, you found yourself as a costume designer.

In 2014, your dearest friend, Louisa, had dragged you to see Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar. She had an unhealthy obsession with Timothée Chalamet at the time, and had made you watch every single film he’d been in - big role or small. So, while Louisa was busy being in love with Timothée Chalamet, you were busy nursing an adoration for Christopher Nolan films. And then, in 2016, you found yourself in Dunkerque, France, working alongside Mr Nolan himself.

As well as being incredibly interested in films, you were also somewhat of a history buff in school. So, working on a film like Dunkirk alongside names like Kenneth Branagh and Cillian Murphy, was one of the most surreal first days on the job. Or, more notably, Harry Styles. Though Louisa was then going through her Tom Hardy phase, she was once a massive One Direction fan. And, though you never bothered to learn every last fact that was public knowledge about them, you could certainly appreciate their music.

As the weeks went on, you began to slip into place more. The more time that passed, the more you knew this was the career for you. And, you knew it wasn’t very professional, but you developed somewhat of a liking towards the singer. He was nice to you. But, then again, he was nice to everybody. It was just in his nature. You weren’t even sure he knew your name...

And then filming wrapped and you never saw him again. The pair of you had never exchanged numbers or followed each other on social media. And that was the end of that. And, after a month or so, your little crush on Harry died away. And, even when you went to the premiere, you only got a couple of glances at him.

In the three years since you last saw him, you’d never forgotten about him. It wasn’t exactly an easy feat forgetting about Harry Styles. But he had definitely been pushed to the back of your mind. Plenty of things had managed to take the front seat since then. You’d won an Oscar for Best Costume Design for your work on Greta Gerwig’s adaptation of Little Women at the beginning of 2020, which was completely insane (Louisa was still more amazed by the fact that you got to work with Timothée Chalamet). The award sat on your mantelpiece in your London flat beside a picture of Louisa and yourself.

However, more recently, you’d taken a place on the crew of Olivia Wilde’s new film: Don’t Worry, Darling. You’d worked on Booksmart with her and she simply adored you. Before production had even begun, you could already tell you were going to love working on this film. It was a psychological thriller set in the 50s - you were in love already. Not only that, but it was starring one of your good friends you’d made in the industry: Florence Pugh.

This all seemed great, until you were notified that Harry Styles would be taking the place of Shia LaBeouf to play ‘Jack’. You promised yourself that you wouldn’t let yourself be caught up by his unintentional charm once again. So, on the first day of filming, you turned up in your puffer jacket (despite it being filmed in California).

You had already worked with Olivia before filming on the costumes, or at least a large bulk of them. It was an odd sort of dynamic; she wanted you to take control simply due to your brilliant eye for fashion, especially vintage fashion, and you wanted her to take control as it was her film. In the end, you managed to create a cooperative working environment.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t stalling as you were fixing up Florence’s costume. Harry’s needed doing next and you didn’t exactly want to face him. You’d tried desperately to stay out of Harry’s sight. And, so far, you’d been successful. When it came to measuring, you’d kindly asked one of your assistants to measure him (and she was more than happy to do so). But all your clever sneaking around was about to go down the drain. “You all right, Y/N?” Flo asked, noticing your shaky hands and your incessant fiddling.

You nodded quickly, “Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I think you’re good to go.”

She smiled, “Thanks. Love you.”

“Love you too!” you grinned as you watched her jog away. She disappeared behind a couple of trailers. As you approached Harry, who was busy talking to a couple of other crew members, you tried to convince yourself that, if you kept your head down, there was no way Harry would attempt to make small talk as you fixed his costume. You’d have your mask on, so there was absolutely no way he’d recognise you. Besides, it had been four years since you filmed Dunkirk, he wouldn’t even remember you. As you neared Harry and one of the gaffers, you cleared your throat, “Do you mind if I steal Harry for a second?”

“Sure,” the gaffer nodded, turning to work on some of the lighting. Keeping your head down and your hands quick, you got to work on adjusting his tuxedo. Awkward was definitely an understatement. Or, it was for you, at least. In an odd sort of way, you were begging for him to make some sort of conversation to ease the sheer awkwardness, but you prayed he stayed silent at the same time. Alas, your prayers weren’t enough. “It’s Y/N, right?” his voice came, though slightly muffled by his mask, you made it out clearly.

“Uh, yeah,” you nodded, adjusting his cuffs and trying your very hardest not to make eye contact with him.

“Congratulations on your Oscar,” was what he said next. “It was for Little Women, right?”

That got you to look up at him. Had he actually remembered your name all of four years or had he just recognised you when you made your acceptance speech at the Oscars? Maybe Florence had just mentioned your Oscar win earlier in the year, and that was how he knew. “Yeah, it was,” you replied. “Congratulations on your album.”

“Cheers,” he said. It was a good album - both of his were. Louisa had forced you to listen to his entire discography whenever you drove her around. Not that you were exactly complaining, you enjoyed Harry’s music. And, just as the awkwardness was beginning to pour back into the atmosphere, he added, “It’s no Oscar, though.”

“It was a bloody good album, though. It was nominated for a Brit too, wasn’t it?” you asked, vaguely remembering Louisa scream in your ear that Fine Line had been nominated for Best Album, or something along those lines.

He nodded, “Well, yeah.”

And, just like that, the conversation fizzled out into uneasy silence. You wanted to kick yourself for being such a shit conversationalist; there’s people who would kill to have a chat with Harry Styles. Yet, here you were, complimenting an album you weren’t even sure you could name all the songs on. Thankfully, the sound of Olivia’s voice caught your attention, “Y/N!”

The two of you turned to see her approaching quickly. She was waving two samples of fabric in front of you, “Oh, hi, Harry. Good thing you’re here, actually. Which of these were you thinking of for his other suit?”

You took both from her, inspecting them closely. One was a brown and the other was a blue, slightly lighter than a navy. “Well, I thought both would work. I mean, it’s up to you, but I think the brown contrasts with Florence’s costume better,” you replied. “But then I’ve got this lovely tie set aside for the blue. So, really it’s your decision.”

She hummed, agreeing with what you said, “I see what you mean. We could always use the blue for a different scene?”

You shrugged, nodding, “Yeah, I mean, the brown will definitely work better with Florence’s costume for those couple of scenes we’re shooting in Palm Springs. But, like I said, the blue is very fifties.”

She smiled, “Brilliant. I’ll sort out the brown, then.”

Quickly, you said, “No, it’s okay. I’ll sort it out when I’m finished with Harry.”

She thanked you as she left. Harry couldn’t take his eyes off you as you worked away, your eyebrows furrowed slightly as you sorted the hem of his trousers. And, thank God for the mandatory masks, as he couldn’t help the smile that danced across his lips. Then, in no time at all, Harry was snapped out of his small trance at the sound of your voice, “Right, you’re good to go.”

“Cheers, Y/N,” he smiled slightly, watching as you walked off towards one of your assistants. Sighing softly to himself, he left to find Florence.

The two weeks the entire cast and crew had off due to somebody testing positive for covid was a lovely break for you. As well as constant fear that they’d just call Don’t Worry, Darling off completely and you’d be out of work again. And the relentless guilt you felt for having to stay at Florence’s for the two weeks with her boyfriend because you didn’t have your own house in America, and you couldn’t fly back and forth between England and America. And the nights where you cried into Florence’s arms as you missed your family from back home. And the nights where you couldn’t sleep because you began to overthink things like if you’d locked your front door or turned the oven off. But, other than that, it’d been a smooth run.

But now you were back and in Palm Springs. And the sun was out and you were longing for a cold shower. You found yourself stood in front of Harry once more, trying to decide which tie would work best with his brown suit. He’d followed you on Instagram since your first interaction since Dunkirk, which received an onslaught of ecstatic texts from Louisa. But that was as far as it had ever gone. None of your conversations progressed past his costumes or anything work-related. And, when you first turned up on set on the very first day of production, that was what you’d wanted. But now you had to surround yourself with him everyday, you longed for him to ask about something other than the job. You wanted to discuss favourite novels and guilty pleasures and pet peeves and bad habits and embarrassing childhood stories with him. All these little things you wanted him to know about you.

Your mind was wandering and it took you a moment to realise that you weren’t even thinking about which tie worked best anymore. Your head was full of swirling fantasies that you knew would never come to be.

Harry, however, didn’t notice your zoned out expression either. He was too busy trying to figure out whether you were single due to the shirt you were wearing, which hung much too large on your frame. And the feeling of knowing there was a possibility that you were living a happy life with somebody else was beginning to rip him up inside. He was trying to remember if you’d thanked a boyfriend in your acceptance speech at the Oscars, but that all seemed so long ago now - he couldn’t possibly remember. So, in spite of himself, he asked, “Missing your boyfriend, then?”

You looked up at him, your hands dropping down to your sides. “What?”

“Your boyfriend - are you missing him?” Harry repeated, a small smile on his face to make his tone sound slightly less bitter.

“Oh, I don’t have a boyfriend,” you replied, finally settling on a tie.

“You don’t? I just figured, you know, with the shirt...” he trailed off, prompting you to elaborate.

You chuckled awkwardly, “Right, of course. I only do it to make myself appear less single.”

He laughed, but it was mainly out of relief. It wasn’t like he’d forgotten about you from the set of his first movie, you just hadn’t been on his mind for the four years following. But then he’d turned up on the first day of filming, seen you laughing with Florence and Olivia, and everything just came rushing back to him. All of the pent up feelings and the nights pondering all of the what ifs and the maybes. “Well, you fooled me,” he smiled.

“Just my ingenious plans working, as usual,” you joked, earning a small laugh from Harry.

As you finished wrapping the tie around Harry’s shirt collar, you informed him you were finished. He thanked you and left to get his hair and makeup done. You practically jumped out of your skin at the sound of Florence’s voice behind you, “I’m pretty sure if he asks you about your love life, it means he likes you.”

“Don’t sneak up on me like that!” you exclaimed, hitting Flo’s shoulder with the tie you opted not to use.

She laughed loudly, “You know I’m right!”

“He’s just making small talk.”

“No, Y/N, small talk is how nice the weather is, not ‘oh, are you single?’”

“Okay, firstly, he didn’t say that. Secondly, it’s California - it’s always nice weather,” you retorted. As much as you fought back, you quite liked the idea that Florence thought Harry liked you.

“You know what I mean!” she replied, grinning her infamous broad, cheeky smile. “Don’t even try and act like you wouldn’t mind if he liked you!”

“I don’t know what you mean,” you said sheepishly, a small smile gracing your features. As aforementioned - you were perhaps the worst actor to grace the planet.

“I knew it!” she grinned excitedly.

“Don’t you have hair to be done?” you chuckled, pushing her towards where she needed to go to get her hair styled for the shoot.

“This isn’t over, Y/N!” she called back as she slowly disappeared.

The following day, as you were patching up one of Chris Pine’s suits, Florence came and sat down opposite you. She had one of those devious smirks on her face and you knew that couldn’t mean anything good. You placed your needle down, staring expectantly at her. “How can I be of assistance?” you asked skeptically.

“Well, as your dear friend, I thought it was my duty to report back to you. So, I’d like to tell you that our good pal Harry was asking about you,” she grinned.

You sighed, “Was he? And what was he asking?”

“Something about if you have any allergies,” she replied.

“Wow,” you laughed, “must be hopelessly in love with me then.”

“No, listen. He asked about your allergies and then he asked what kind of food you liked. So, my guess is he’s going to ask you to dinner.”

“We’ll see,” you said, offering her a smile in the hopes that she’d just drop it.

“Indeed we will. I’ll see you in a bit, Y/N,” she grinned, pinching your cheeks as she got up. “Love you!”

You chuckled, “Love you too!”

And, just like that, you were left to your own devices. Though your flow had been disrupted, you got back to stitching up Chris’ suit, which had a minor tear in the lapel. Working on a film set, you were used to being interrupted; people would come and go, asking you all sorts of questions. You always found it pretty easy to get back into your rhythm. However, when Harry came and took the place of Florence, you were sure you wouldn’t be able to get back into your desired flow easily. “Oh, hey, Harry,” you greeted. “Are you okay?”

He nodded quickly. He wasn’t hiding his nervous shifting very well - despite how good of an actor he may be. He fiddled with his fingers, which lay in his lap. They were lacking the many, expensive-looking rings they usually adorned. He was out of costume, instead dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. His hair wasn’t slicked back and full of gel like it usually was on set. “Yeah, yeah. I’m okay,” he said, rather unconvincingly.

His eyes followed your fingers as they gripped the little needle, weaving it in and out of one of suit’s lapels. Another wave of awkwardness washed over the pair. But, for once, you didn’t feel uncomfortable. You weren’t the one who came over to start the conversation. “Are you busy tonight?” he suddenly asked, his voice almost shaky.

“Uh, no. Not if I can get this lapel finished,” you replied, your tone joking. Your eyes were still trained on your needle, but your mind was most definitely concentrating on every last syllable that fell from Harry’s lips.

He let out an awkward, breathy chuckle, “Right. Um, well, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to grab something to eat?”

You couldn’t help the tiny grin that pulled at the corner of your lips, “I’d love to.”

This was what you felt you’d been waiting for for a good four years. And, thank God, Florence had warned you that she suspected Harry was thinking of asking you out, otherwise you weren’t sure you’d be able to get out any comprehensible words. “Great,” he grinned, whatever nervousness that had been racing through his veins seemed to slowly drown away. “I’ll see you tonight, then. At 6?”

You nodded, overwhelmed with serotonin, trying to suppress the urge to let out a loud squeal. You knew you’d get back to Florence’s, share a glass of predate wine with her and dance about happily in her kitchen. All of these marvellous emotions swept through your body, which was abuzz with electric euphoria. And yet, all you replied was, with a small smile, “At 6.”

part two.

#harry fanfic #harry fanfiction #harry imagine #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry oneshot #harry styles oneshot #harry imagines #harry styles imagines #harry x y/n #harry x you #harry x reader

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hopeless-ro-simptic · 5 years ago

Text

Familiar Cerulean Eyes Pt. 3

Hear me out... Dabi is a fuck boi, Touya is a simp. I’m just saying. This part is Dabi’s point of view and the war that goes on in his brain when dealing with the feelings he has for Y/N. This one is a little shorter but I basically have the next part ready, I just need to tweak it a bit before posting so expect it soon.

Click here for a full list of other parts. Part 4

Still no smut. It’s a slow burn <3

Taglist: @skzero-99 @superblyspeedydragon @jparra4587 @flyingowls @emrysaaryn @imuziawi @sheedaabee @peculiarinsomniac @littlelovebug98 @plutoneu @giftofwonder @kitty-kat-ash @fukyouthink @anarchys-bnha-mess

Word Count: 2 k

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It had taken almost an hour for you to fall back asleep. Dabi played on his phone quietly, glancing over at you every so often, making snarky comments about how you were more than welcome to join him in the bed, which you had completely ignored.

Even though his alpha was begging him to pick your cute little ass up and force you into giving him attention, he resisted, knowing that would only freak you out more and would prolong the inevitable. At some point your resolve would cave. At some point you would reach out to him wanting the attention that only he could give you.

He also knew at some point you would come to the realization of who he was...

He had vowed to stay away from you, to let you move on with life, to let you have a chance at free will. But the moment he saw you in that market, with the Todoroki boy of all people, he couldn’t stop himself. He had naively thought that when he disappeared that Endevor would give up and let you go. He didn’t think that he would just pass you along to his favorite son. His pride and joy. You were older than the half and half brat by several years. Sure you looked young, but that didn’t change the fact that you were already in your twenties and was following around a teenage alpha like a lost puppy dog.

Dabi was livid. He didn’t mean to start the fire, but the alpha inside took over and the next thing he knew, the little runt was running off to go be hero, leaving you behind unprotected and scared. Dumb kid, why would he leave something as precious as you, just to go deal with a stupid fire. You were even crying out for him, begging him to come back, and the damn runt didn’t even care. This isn’t at all the life that Dabi wanted for you, the whole reason he left was to protect you, and look what was happening instead.

So Dabi took you. He took you away from the Todoroki family like he should have done years ago.

Looking over at your sleeping form now, he hopped he made the right decision. He never wanted to get you tangled up in this kind of life. It was why he didn’t take you with him when he ran. Why he left you behind hoping that you would get to make something of your life that you actually wanted.

It was too late though, he couldn’t just back out of the league, and he didn’t want to. He strongly believed in what they stood for and he wanted to be apart of tearing down hero society as the world knew it. He wanted to be the one to bring Endevor down for all the pain and hurt he had caused the people that should have been the most important to him.

He paused, looking back over to you as a soft sigh escaped your lips. His Alpha was begging for release. He needed to get out of here, away from your tantalizing scent. Looking around the room he took stock of what all he had. He probably should get some more water, and he was almost out of cigarettes himself. He briefly wondered how you felt about smoking.. maybe he would quit if you asked. He made a mental list of things to pick up, maybe a couple things for you that would help you relax. He briefly wondered if (F/C) was still your favorite.

He stood up, frowning as he realized how stupid it was of him to make you sleep in that crappy chair. He should move you over to the bed where you could be more comfortable. He shuffled over to you quietly not wanting to rouse you, attempting to slip his arms under you to pick you up. The soft groan of annoyance that slipped out between your lips had him pausing. You pushed at his chest insistently in your sleep, at one point kicking your leg out narrowly missing his crotch, grumbling to get the fuck off you and let you sleep. You sounded like you were scolding an annoying sibling that wouldn’t leave you alone. He rolled his eyes, grabbing the pillow off his bed and tucking it behind your head instead. He would just let you sleep there if you were going to start cussing at him.

Taking one last glance around the room to make sure everything was secure, he put on his mask that covered his lower half of his face, concealing his identity and closed the door behind him. Locking it.

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The little bell above the door chimed as Dabi stepped into the small store. He nodded his head at the beta that was working the register, she was a pretty blonde that had taken quite a liking to Dabi. He was pretty sure she had no clue who he actually was, but he didn’t think she would be surprised. The part of town they were in wasn’t known for being a particularly safe neighborhood.

Dabi meandered through the store isles, picking up what he needed and placing it into the tiny basket that the store provided. He glanced through the shampoo and soap collection… he was pretty sure most girls used conditioner for their hair. Should he get you one that was made for omegas? Or should he get the one that matches the shampoo he uses at home… it wouldn’t be as obvious if he got the one that matches his stuff… and he did love them smell of it on you.

He groaned softly, leaning his head on the top shelf in front of him. Why was he even thinking like this? He was acting like he was pussy whipped. He hadn’t been this considerate of another person in years. In fact, he regularly used girls just to get through his ruts and then would kick them out right after, not even bothering to hear their name. Never has he ever given a shit if they were comfortable or what they would enjoy. He hasn’t cared about any of that shit since he left you behind at that damned house. Yet the second you are back in his life he has his tail tucked between his legs ready to bend to your every whim. You didn’t even want anything to do with him. Fuck, you were literally following his little bro-, that stupid brat around like he was your world just this morning. Like you… actually wanted him. Maybe you did... or maybe the looks you used to give him were all just an act for self perseverance and you were just using the same tactic on the kid.

“What’s wrong handsome? Bad hair day?”

Dabi lazily glanced over to the beta greeting him, having left her stool at the checkout counter to come check on one of her favorite customers. Dabi knew the beta wanted his attention. She had mentioned it one too many times that she could handle a rut just as well as any omega. Hell, Dabi had been seriously considering taking her for a test drive before all of this happened. She was pretty, in a slutty kind of way, perky. He raked his eyes down her body, a frown tugging at his lips as he compared her to you. He preferred you.

“What? You don’t like what you see?” A pout was growing on her lips and Dabi internally rolled his eyes at her pitchy whine. She would never be able to get his mind off of you. It wasn’t worth it.

“Sorry babe. I’m just not feeling great.” This placated her slightly, enough so that she rolled her eyes before turning back to the counter to busy herself with work once more.

Dabi looked back at the selection in front of him, grabbing the matching conditioner to what he already had in shampoo. He continued on with his shopping at a faster pace now, just wanting to get back to you, to your scent. He paused just before the counter, a collection of nesting blankets up on the wall in front of him of varying styles.

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Touya was on fire, but this time the fire wasn’t visible, and it wasn’t because of his quirk. His face was bright red as he stood in front of you, a crudely wrapped present in his hands, your F/C ribbon tied around it with a bow that was a little lopsided.

He had rushed into the kitchen where you and his mother Rei were working on putting together dinner after coming home late from training with his father. His mom had sent him a knowing smile, ruffling his hair to his annoyance, before excusing herself to another room leaving the two of you alone in the kitchen.

He was bursting with anxiety as he handed you the present, watching as you gingerly pulled one side of the ribbon letting it unravel, and pulling the wrapping apart to uncover the soft fur blanket that was bundled inside. The way that your face lit up, your cheeks turning as red as his own as you pulled the blanket out of the wrapping and up to your face to breathe in the smell that he had spent time making sure was covering the entire blanket made all his worries disappear. You liked it.

“I know, that this isn’t really the traditional way since… well you know.., but I wanted to get you something… I wanted to ask you to… if you wanted..” Touya was tripping over his words. Nothing seemed right. Nothing could explain the feelings he had for you, that he knew would only grow as you both reached presenting age, and not to mention maturity after that, he knew that this was only the beginning to what he had hoped would be a long life with you by his side. Even at such a young age, he knew you were it.

You could feel it too, he thought. You were always so kind to him, even though his father had bought you with the sole purpose of being Touya’s omega just to breed your quirks once you were older. You had always cared for him in a way that was different than how his parents had cared for each other and the moments that you two stole away to be alone convinced Touya that maybe you would be okay with the life that you were forced to live, as long as he was there with you.

The smile that you gave him melted his heart and he smiled back as you nodded. You knew what he was trying to say, you always did.

About three day’s later, Endevor set that blanket up in flames. Belittling the small omega for messy nesting habits, the young alpha for wasting time on courting an omega he already owned.

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Dabi shook his head, grabbing the blanket closest to him causing the beta at the counter to raise her eyebrows, throwing it up on the counter along with his basket of items. He quickly picked out his cigarettes, paying for the items and slipping out of the shop without another word. He wanted to get back to his Omega.

Once he was back in his apartment, after confirming you were still indeed asleep, he went to work grumbling the whole time to himself about his omega like behavior, putting the items he bought away, the conditioner being slipped inconspicuously in the shower for later use if you wanted. He made quick work of cleaning up the small room of his apartment, even stopping to pick up his clothes and put them in the dirty hamper, along with yours that were discarded on the floor. He felt so restless, anxiously glancing over at the bag with the blanket in it every few minutes before he finally gave up and just spread the blanket across your lap not bothering to scent it. You would ask him if you wanted him to.

Finally, he collapsed onto his bed, peeling his hoodie off and balling it up to use it as a makeshift pillow. He probably should have grabbed a second one while he was out, but he didn’t think about it. He let his mind roam, tucking his arms behind his head as he stared at the ceiling breathing in your scent, a smirk coming to his lips as he relaxed from the smell. He didn’t need the help of some perky beta, not when he knew he could have you.

#bnha omegaverse #alpha dabi #omega reader #bnha #mha #mha omegaverse #dabi is touya #dabi is a todoroki #dabi #dabi x y/n #dabi x female reader #dabi x you #dabi x reader #crispy

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bewitchedbodyandsol · 4 years ago

Text

If I Were Not Myself

Description: Reader is a mandalorian from Din’s covert who was manipulated into taking off her helmet. HEAVILY based on Pierre and Natasha from Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812. Takes place before the child (bc age reasons and character development has not happened). Trying to stay as close to the approximate ages in Great Comet/War and Peace, putting Din at 27 while reader is 19.

Notes: Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 makes me absolutely mad. The only spoken lines in the musical and it makes my heart shatter. Okay, I don’t think Din would be as courteous towards a dar’manda as I write him but also like, this is a Din/Pierre hybrid, so. And yes I know that based on these ages Toro Calican would have barely been born, but um, yeah <3. IT’S MY FIC AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. Also, this is my first time writing and posting fan fiction so um, yeah <3

Word Count: 2.9K

Rating: G

Tags/warnings: Thoughts of death (in an almost philosophical way). fem!reader Dar’manda!reader, war and peace au? No use of y/n, slightest hint of Toro Callican x reader and Paz x Reader (like they’re mentioned), age gap

If I were not myself,

But the brightest,

Handsomest,

Best man on earth,

And if I were free,

I would get down on my knees,

This minute,

And ask you for your hand.

And for your love.

The mandalorians-the mandalorian and the dar’manda, stood in front of each other. The air still. When he had initially seen her he ran towards her, he stopped less than a foot away and reached a hand out to her, but instead of taking his outstretched hand like he had expected, she slowly moved past him. She put an awkward amount of distance between the two. The gap between them too large for how friendly they normally were, while anything closer seemed too overwhelming. Din knew he had to stay far enough away to keep himself from completely engulfing the girl in an embrace, fists curling at his sides to stop himself from reaching out to her again.

----

Din had known the young woman her entire life, for she was born shortly after he had been taken in as a foundling. While all families in the covert were friendly with one another, theirs had been especially close. And they had been especially fond of each other. The age difference caused them to participate in different activities and talk with different social groups but did not stop them from interacting completely. In fact, the two mandalorians had grown to be close friends. The young girl confided in Din about her newest crush on the covert while he doted on her for it and she would laugh at the gruff noises he made while being teased by peers, watching him try to act tough while knowing he would huff and puff to her about it later.

He had watched her grow, from a nervous young girl who stood in the middle of a room filled with people simply to make them listen to her sing, to a young woman who knew how to carry herself and gain the attention of her peers from sheer presence. At the same time, the girl watched Din grow from a flustered teenage boy to a closed off young man who became more and more stoic with each passing visit.

As the years went on the two became distant, caught up in the paths life had put them on. Din started running with Ran’s crew, his visits to the covert became few and far between, while she had stayed and chose to act as a nurse for the foundlings. Their friendship seemingly evaporated, dissolved to nothing but pleasantries. The young woman noticed the growing weight on her dear friend’s shoulders, but was unknowing of the whirlwind he found himself caught in. His growing reputation, worrisome discoveries he made about himself, and the insatiable twi’lek girl he had gotten tangled with.

During his last visit home, Din had introduced the young woman to his friend Paz Vizsla. The two had known of each other for quite some time but had never formally been introduced, and quickly after he acquainted them Din felt a shift in the air, as if he was intruding on something he was not meant to see. He had not expected the pair to become so infatuated with one another. Aware of Paz’s past, the hardships he faced, losing not only a wife but a child at a young age, and the battles he fought; and the young woman’s naivete, having rarely left the covert herself and her general lack of life experience. So when he heard that they planned to wed, he had been surprised to say the least.

That had only been one year ago. A year, and yet so much had changed. Din truly had not planned on a return home for quite some time. While he had been on the planet for a while, as the crew had a job that stationed them there, he had not planned on visiting the covert. As he had no obligations to do so, prior to the holo he had received from the girl's aunt in which she explained the situation to him and pleaded for him to return. She explained how the girl had broken off her engagement to Paz and made plans to run away with Toro Calican, whom she had only known for a few days, instead. Din had heard of Calican before and had even had the ‘pleasure’ of meeting him once, he found the suave young man obnoxious and to be nothing but trouble. Oh but what angered him the most about the young man, was seeing his own worst qualities reflected right back at him. His fears and flaws were flaunted by the young mercenary. When Din heard it was Calican the girl had become involved with, he didn’t even have time to think before it had slipped past his lips that the young man himself was married, and unlike Paz his wife was still alive. The girl’s aunt had begged him to return to scare Calican off the planet and to attempt to speak some sense into the girl. But when Din had returned it had been too late, she had revealed her face to an already married man, and unknowingly to her, his friends as well. Leaving her dar’manda.

---

It felt almost inappropriate to stand in front of her in this state. With her lack of armor and helmet, she might as well have been naked from a cultural standpoint. She stood in the middle of the room in her thermals. Her beskar had been stripped from her, no doubt to be given to someone more deserving, a foundling most likely. Her back towards him, Din noticed her arms hung still next to her, obviously too exhausted to even subconsciously twiddle the edges of her shirt like she used to do when she was a younger, more nervous girl. When she turned around and looked at him, it felt like she could see into his soul. The helmet prevented her from looking him in the eyes, but having worn a helmet herself and interacting with so many others who did the same, she easily knew where his were hidden behind the mask. And when he looked into her eyes, Din could see the weight of the galaxy crashing down on her.

“Din Djarin.” She tested out his name. And something in him shattered. No one had referred to him by name in so long, simply referring to him as ‘mando’, but Din Djarin was not the name she had used the last time he saw her. No, she had simply called him Din. The sudden change in formality made tense, as he took a second to respond. “Din” He took a breath and corrected her. It wasn’t until the girl’s face shot down did he realize he had started leaning forward, his weight shifted to the balls of his feet, left hand flexing at his side.

He hadn’t seen her face in six years. No one had. Like most in the covert the young girl had sworn the creed promptly at the age of 13. After swearing the creed she had grown into herself, the young nervous girl Din had become friends with was replaced by a confident young woman. A skilled fighter and diplomat, yet as charming and giddy as ever. He could only imagine how she had grown ever more captivating as time went on. Din had never thought it to be a shame if a beautiful face was hidden behind a wall of beskar, his religion more important than simple vanity, and yet. As he saw her face on full display, he understood. Understood how someone who had become so enamored by the girl could do such a selfish thing, ask her to take off her helmet.

“Vizsla was, Vizsla is your friend.” She corrected herself. Her ex-fiancé had fought in a far off battle for so long she had developed the bad habit of assuming him dead. Once again, the girl’s sudden formality was not lost on Din, referring to her ex fiancé as Vizsla rather than her usual endearing Paz. “He once told me that I should turn to you.”

He had always reproached dar’mandas, finding them to be less than. Thought they had already shown themselves to be unworthy of the mandalorian title and armor if they could so easily take it off. That it took a truly weak man to break from The Way, from a people that loved fiercely and unconditionally. He wanted so badly to despise her. To give her the same scowl and acid laced words he might anyone else. But there was something about the way the young woman held her head. As if, even though she no longer had her helmet, she still did not want her face to be shown, and at that any chance of reproach towards her had died. Instead it was replaced by a feeling of pity. He had wanted to believe he felt nothing but pity for her, but he knew that wasn’t right. There was something else, something he was unable to place.

“He’s returned. When you see him… Can you please tell him to, please tell him to forgive me.” She moved as if she meant to wring her hands, but when her fingertips found skin instead of leather gloves, they quickly shot back down to her sides.

“Yeah, I’ll-I’ll tell him.” Din’s throat tightens as he recalls his conversation with Paz. How his friend returned from battle only to hear of his fiancé having an affair, removing her helmet in front of people who were not her riduur or ade. Recalling Paz’s posture, his voice almost malicious yet so pained when he said he could not forgive the girl of her actions. How the image of Paz, a man Din looked up to, had been shattered with a few simple words. “But-”

“I know everything’s over, that chance of anything is gone.” Her head shot up, as if she had read his mind, anticipated his words. “But still, I’m haunted by what I’ve done, what I’ve done to him. Tell him please, to forgive me. For everything.”

“I’ll tell him to forgive you. I’ll tell him everything.” Din nodded, as he thought of his next words carefully. “I want to know one thing. Did you really love him? Did you love that bad man” His voice sounded hoarser than usual.

“Don’t call him bad.” She spat out. “But I, I don’t know. I really don’t.” Though the speed of her response told Din her real answer. That in some said way, yes, she really had loved Toro Calican. The man who had pushed her farther than anyone else had, pushed the boundary most important to anyone who shared their creed. Pushed her to do something she had never previously thought about. So uncaring of consequences. And if she had not loved him, she at least still held strong feelings for him. For the man who had manipulated her.

The young woman turned away from Din and began to cry. And he could hear the dam of emotions she held back break in the sob she let out. He could do nothing but watch as she began to crumple in on herself. The same feeling of pity from earlier returned, but it was now accompanied by a tenderness he had become unfamiliar with and that same something he was still unable to place. Din felt the tears pool at his jaw before he was even able to comprehend that he had started to cry. Thankful for his helmet as it prevented anyone from seeing the tears that rolled down his cheek.

“Hey, we don’t. We don’t have to talk about it anymore, ner vod.” The familiarity slipped out of his mouth, meant to comfort them both. He slowly made his way towards her, reached his hand out the same as he had done earlier. “But. I’m still, your friend. And if you ever need someone to talk to, or someone to open your heart to. Not now, but, when your mind is clear. Think of me.”

Din grew confused.

He had no idea where any of this was coming from. Especially after her had become so closed off over the past few years. He had felt more in the past few minutes here with her, warm and tender feelings that he had not realized he so dearly missed, than he possibly had in years. And there it was, that feeling he had been unable to place, unable to give a name, coming to the surface. Love. He had always carried affection towards her, in one way or another, but this was different. Love, something he had started to wonder if he was incapable of.

“Don’t talk to me like that.” She snapped. “I don’t, I don’t deserve it.” Came out softer, sadder, and she practically scurried away from the man. Like she truly believed it.

“Stop! Stop. You have the rest of your life-” The first stop a command, the second a plea. The girl stopped, her back still faced him.

“The rest of my life? My life is over.” The girl reached the doorway she had entered through earlier, a tight grip on the wall.

“Over.” He repeated. Looking at the girl, he saw a reflection of himself. His fears and flaws hung heavy around the girl. The same horrible thoughts that had plagued his mind not so long ago.

The knowledge that one was capable of hurting people doing bad things, the thought that death might be more accepting and caring fate. The fear that life had ended before it even began. But unlike when he had seen those same traits in Toro Calican, who wore them with pride, he saw the same level of fear in the young woman that he had felt.

And suddenly, everything stopped.

“If I were not myself.”

The young woman froze at his words. Din had not even registered that he was speaking until he had finished.

“But the brightest, handsomest

Best man in the galaxy”

Din had done bad things. Din had done bad things and enjoyed doing them. He had dangerous thoughts, dangerous intentions, and a dangerous way of life. He knew he was still not the man he needed to be. So much to improve upon before even thinking of settling down with someone, let alone the young woman in front of him. Though she was not perfect either, not the woman he knew she was capable of becoming, but he still thought she was deserving of perfection.

“And If I were free-” His throat threatened to close.

The Xi’an of it all was, Din was not in the position to be offering his love to someone else. And while they were not the ideal couple, he was still tied to her. He had his suspicions that the twi’lek girl might have been seeing other men along with him, but it did not stop him from remaining faithful to the girl. Along with the weight of his relationship on his heart, was the beskar lock he kept tight on it. His creed, the most important thing in his life. What he held himself to above all else. She was dar’manda, while he was not. A fact he could not simply ignore. Any hopes of a relationship between the two had been destroyed when she revealed herself. But he could not stop himself from loving her, from wishing he could do this one thing for her.

“I would get down on my knees this minute

And ask you for your hand” His voice strained. It could truly be that simple, they could be married in the matter of seconds. Vows exchanged, tied to each other for the rest of their lives. It was something he had never dreamed of, but as he stood in front of the young woman now. There was nothing he wanted more.

“And for your love”

The young woman turned around.

And reality comes crashing down.

She makes her way over to him faster than Din thought safe for someone in her state. Her breaths jagged as she tries to control her tears. Tenderness replacing the earlier weight in her eyes.

His breath hitches when her hand touches the cheek of his helmet. But he lets her, trusting her single hand to not make any bold moves, knowing the girl would not dare to lift the helmet off his head, to damn him to the same fate she had damned herself. Din’s breath catches in his throat, his eyes closing behind his helmet as he leans into her hand. A tear rolls down his cheek. The young woman simply looks at the man in front of her. And she gives him the softest smile he has ever seen.

“Oh Din,�� she whispers. ‘Thank you’, she means to continue, but the words are caught in her throat, leaving her to simply mouth them instead. She lets her hand fall from his face and leaves the room, smiling.

Din stands and watches her leave, trying to hold back any oncoming tears, and lets out a shaky breath. Realizing his job here is done, he turns around to leave. Bumping into the doorway on his way out, he takes a deep steady breath, and makes his way to the Razor Crest.

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let-them-read-fics · 5 years ago

Text

Eyes Closed, Heart Open

Pairing: Rosé x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 1,463

HC Count: 28

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone, here’s another Rosé writing. I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think of it. Happy reading!

I got inspiration from listening to her cover of “Eyes Closed” by Halsey. Check it out if you haven’t already!

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Nothing felt the same anymore. The adrenaline rush that coursed through you as you ran out on stage, the cheering of the fans, hearing them sing along with you -- nothing. In her absence, everything was dull, and you found yourself just going through the motions. That’s not to say you aren’t grateful for everything you have; it’s all just lost its glow without her.

Both of you are idols (you’re a soloist), and you used to be together. You always kept it hidden from the public, but after a leak made its way to the media, there was little you could do to stop them. So, your companies decided to ban you from being with one another.

You found this fact out before she did, so you tried to find a way to end things. It’s the last thing you wanted, but you knew you had to hurt her now in order for her to be able to move on and forget about you.

You broke her heart, but you thought it was something that had to happen, given the circumstances. You hated yourself a little more with every second that passed, seeing the pain you caused.

You often doubt your decision, thinking now maybe it would’ve been less painful for her to hear about the ban from the company instead. She was the one person in this world that you couldn’t bear the thought of being hated by.

Cue her cover of “Eyes Closed”

Certain lyrics pertain to your situation:

↪ “But he’ll never stay, they never do”

↪ “But you’ve been replaced, I’m face to face with someone new” (Of course, for damage control, YG forced her into a fake relationship)

↪ “My lover, my liar” (She says this in reference to you, since you had promised her you’d never break her heart)

Months after what happened, you’re still stuck on her. Your plan clearly backfired, only hurting both of you in the process and giving you no closure or ability to move on

As if you could move on from her

Given that Blackpink is the massive success that it is, Rosé’s hold over you was inescapable. Every time you were out, it was inevitable for you to see a new advertisement for them or hear their song on the radio. It was always a slap to the face, serving as a reminder of your mistake.

Both of you were expected to attend the MMA awards show, given that you were both nominated. When you saw “Blackpink” on the list of artists invited, it came as no surprise; even still, your heart leapt and your stomach was in knots. How would this go down?

Both of you ended up winning in your respective categories. When you go up to receive your award, you decide to set things straight; you’re sick of feeling this way, and you know you’d kick yourself for the rest of your life if you didn’t even try to rectify the situation.

“I’d like to give a huge thank you to my fans, support system, and family. My people. No one could have a better group of individuals around them. I couldn’t have done any of this alone, and I thank you endlessly for all you’ve ever done and continue to do. This award is for you!” The crowd cheers, clapping loudly, but you don’t stop there. “Also, though, there’s someone here tonight, out in the audience, that I hurt very badly.” At your words, Rosé’s eyes find yours, expression unreadable. “I thought that in doing what I did, I would be helping her to move on; after all, I never meant to hurt her. Little did she know, though, our companies would’ve stepped in, had I not beat them to it. I wanted to give her someone to hate, someone that she didn’t have to see everyday and be around.” The audience is dead silent, hanging onto your every word. To the right of you, just off stage, you can see one of your managers next to a security guard; likely ready to drag you off at any moment. With time running out, you finish by saying, “I know it was wrong, but I did what I thought was best at the time -- please believe that. Hopefully you can forgive me for my naiveté. Thank you again, everyone.” The air is thick with tension, the crowd uncertain about how to react. Scattered applause rings outs, and you send one last wave to the audience before going back to your seat.

Your words impact Rosé more than she expected, forcing her to think things over, yet again. She had spent the past few months doing everything in her power to recover, and she’d be damned to just let it slip away so easily. Part of her begged to relent, though, upon seeing how sincere your apology appeared to be. She hated to admit it, but you still looked just as gorgeous now as you had before. Though she tried to pretend, she knew her feelings for you could never go away.

You try to find her for the rest of the night, but she’s always just a little too far away, right out of your reach. You eventually lose hope, but you mask that fact from the cameras that had been glued to you after your speech.

About an hour later, the show is over and the afterparty is kicking off. Deciding that a drink would definitely help after the night you’ve just had, you make your way towards the elevator. Conveniently, the celebration was taking place in the same building, albeit high up in the clouds, on the 80th floor. You had waited patiently for the batch of overzealous guests to go up before you, glad to distance yourself from them.

You could finally breathe again, getting a moment to yourself.

Now inside the elevator, you press the button and wait for the sleek metal doors to close. Before they can, a slender arm darts between them, and your heart jumps. They open again to reveal none other than Rosé herself, looking as stunning as ever. She steps in next to you, and it’s physically painful how much you want to hold her in that moment. To reach out and touch her, assuring yourself that she’s actually there and you aren’t imagining this. To apologize profusely and explain everything to her. But you don’t. You stand there, holding her gaze, waiting for her to say something.

“Did you mean it?” She asks after an eternity, voice soft and unsure as she tests the waters. Her eyes are now focused on the floor; she can’t bring herself to look at you as she waits for an answer, too afraid of what you might say.

“I meant everything I said tonight. You’ve never left my thoughts, no matter how much I try to avoid them. And I…” You start, ready to finally confess how you’ve been feeling all this time without her. You take a moment to steady yourself. “I never stopped loving you.”

You wait with bated breath, silently begging the universe to let her feel the same.

She doesn’t say anything. Instead, she gently wraps herself around you, her arms around your neck and face against your shoulder. You sigh against her, weight being lifted from your heart at this simple act. She still feels the same; warm and comforting. Your home.

Eventually you pull back enough to look at her, but not enough to lose her from your grip.

You rest your forehead against hers, and the two of you stay like that. There will be plenty of time to talk about everything later; you’re at peace just holding her for now. The elevator dings, and the doors open to reveal your manager.

He gives you an incredulous look, as if to say We’ve been over this! But you don’t care. Rosé glances between the older man and you, but you simply smile at her. “I’m done running.”

Those words echo throughout her mind as she feels your lips on hers -- something she had dreamt of since the day you left, despite the pain that came along with it. Memories of the nights she spent crying over what happened soon melt away, making room for new ones to come.

With your manager nearly fuming at what he’s witnessing, you stumble backwards and press the button for the ground floor. Rosé is still on you, her lips moving against your own in a heated dance. The juxtaposition is a bit hilarious, if you’re honest.

The noise from the rowdy crowd dies down as you make your descent, and you feel her lips turn up in a giddy smile. “I love you, too, Y/N.”

#rosé x reader #rosé #blackpink #kpop #k-pop #k-pop girl group #k-pop blackpink #rosé blackpink #chaeyoung #rosé x fem reader #park chaeyoung #roseanne #blackpink imagine #blackpink oneshots #rosé imagine #let-them-read-fics

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canyouhearthelight · 4 years ago

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The Miys, Ch. 129

Despite the last couple weeks of work being profoundly exhausting (think 60 hours, easily), I am proud that I’ve been able to keep writing and stay ahead! I literally could not have done that without @baelpenrose, @charlylimph-blog, @the-raven-fae, and @anotherusrname. Y’all are my real-world rocks when everything gets crazy.

***Shameless Plug: @the-raven-fae has the first episode of the podcast up now! you can find it here!! ***

The other thing that has been keeping me going is each and every one of you who has found this story and binged it from start to finish as a speed-run. I can’t even name all of you at this point, but I want you all to know that I see it, and it makes me smile so hard my face hurts.

Now, who is ready for some Charly shenanigans?

A few days later, I had just enough time to sweep dinner off the table in my quarters before Charly unceremoniously dropped a long something in the midst of us with a dull thud. Immediately, a rusty red cloud rose up and set us all into a fit of tears and coughing.

Out in the hallway, I was eventually able to convince my lungs to at least try to breathe long enough to wheeze out, “Geezus, Charly, what the hell was that?”

“Soooo….” Uh oh. “ItmayneedsomecalibrationthecloudwasntsupposedtobethatbigandIdidntmeanforittogooffbut - “

I shook my head and typed a quick message on my datapad. “Please breathe because right now I don’t think the rest of us can and I would love to know why.”

She stopped rushing out what I think were words long enough to read the message and try again. “Chili powder arrows. I think I need to recalibrate them, though, because it shouldn’t have gone off at less than one hundred and twenty kilometers per hour, and there’s no way I set it down that hard.”

“Why?” I rasped, still swallowing as hard as I could and mentally begging Noah to bring us some water or a medical transport.

“Defensive measures,” she insisted. “Scent navigation is really common in the Galactic community, and so is sensitivity to capsaicin, so…”

“Makes sense,” Conor managed to get out as he tried to gasp for air. “Even Noah.”

“Bit much.” I pinched my fingers as closely as I could without touching - which was more difficult than expected considering that I was shaking.

Maverick was the first to get up off the floor of the corridor, just as the medical transport arrived. He and Charly helped us on before distributing bottles of water to rinse our mouths and eyes. “It was… a good idea…” he panted once we were all seated. “Just… bit overkill…”

“The range of the cloud is only supposed to be five feet,” she insisted fretfully. “And I swear the pressure sensor is supposed to be calibrated to only go off if it’s fired from a bow or swung really, really hard.”

“Who...want...swing?” I was honestly starting to get dizzy fighting my airways to breathe.

Once we arrived at a medbay, Charly helped a couple of Miys’ bodies get us out of the transport and lying down in berths. In a glitch-like transition, suddenly I could breathe easily and she was joined by Arthur and Coffey in sitting with us.

“Wait… when did… I’m so confused,” I admitted, my voice only slightly strained.

“Lethe field, apparently,” Arthur shrugged. “You didn’t want to be awake for that.”

Conor sat up and rubbed his sternum. “I remember chili pepper arrows - Charly, love, that was brilliant except the, you know, going off bit - and getting off the transport.”

“Respiratory lavage,” Charly winced. “You know, war crime if done incorrectly?”

I shuddered and nodded. “Yep. Didn’t want to be awake for that, thanks. Glad I can’t remember, don’t ever want to, would rather remember the pepper bomb you set off. At point blank range?”

She snuggled further down in Coffey’s lap as he gently rubbed her scalp with his fingertips. Arthur spoke in her defense, instead. “She’s sending the schematics to Zach and Derek to find out what went wrong. Tactically, they were a brilliant idea - she’s right about the large amount of species who would react even worse than you did if hit with one.”

“I only inhale spices figuratively. I would prefer not to do it literally - like, ever again.”

Maverick sat up and gave Charly a curious look. “You said they can be swung… Unless I saw something wrong, the arrow was only two feet long. Who would want to swing something like that?”

Coffey and Arthur both held up gas masks and wiggled them. “Between my arm reach and the length of one of those, I could do it, no problem.”

“We aren’t all so fortunate,” Arthur intoned drily. “Plus, that doesn’t mean someone closer isn’t getting hit.”

Conor raised his hand politely before pointing out a potential flaw. “What if they have gas masks?”

“Noah has a topical reaction,” I answered, my mind racing. “And I assume we have other measures in the works?”

“Multiple types of sonic weaponry are being tested,” Coffey intoned with a nod. “Sub- and ultrasonics, infrasound, and just loud music.”

Still in full Devil’s Advocate mode, Conor persisted. “And if they are covered, head to toe, and none of that works?”

A deafening silence filled the medbay. The prospect of being forcibly boarded had only been a known issue for a week, and apparently this prospect hadn’t been covered yet in the defensive planning.

Finally, it was Maverick who spoke up. Had anyone else been talking, we couldn’t have heard him, but in the quiet his whisper echoed like a gunshot. “The interior hull is organic, not magnetic.”

“Mav, we know that. It doesn’t help us.” Conor’s voice was confused.

Arthur, however, looked like he had just seen a travesty occur in front him, unable to stop it. “You’re talking about blowing the airlocks.”

I scrambled to sit up, clawing at the blanket that covered my legs. “What!? Maverick, he’s wrong, right? You aren’t talking about that, right?”

“It makes logical sense,” Charly added, still laying her head against Coffey’s chest. “If someone boards the Ark by force, and they have enough gear that no amount of defense we mount even bothers them, they would be wearing enough gear to survive being blown into space.”

“And they can’t magnetize to the hull,” Maverick confirmed. “Maybe the outside, but not inside.”

“What about Noah?” I demanded. “They are a non-combatant.”

“Noah evolved in vacuum,” Charly pointed out.

“You’re talking a war strategy!” I nearly shouted. “What about Arthur? Coffey? Or Ivan? Are you seriously going to tell me they won’t be the first people charging to defend the Ark?” I pointed at the previously brandished gas masks with a damning glare.

“We are talking about a last-ditch defense to save as many people on this ship as possible,” she whispered. “I don’t make the decisions, I just make the tools they are going to use. You know, you know I don’t want us to use any of this. And I plan to booby-trap everything within an inch of all our lives to keep us from having to use as much of it as possible. Hence, arrows. As many kinds as I can make up.”

I started taking deep breaths, trying to calm down. At my heart of hearts, I knew she was sincere - Charly was almost as much of a pacifist as I was, at the end of the day. Even Arthur wasn’t necessarily a warmonger, just… uninhibited in what he defined as ‘the best defense is a good offense’.

Frustrated, I swung my legs over the side of the berth. “I need to go home. I want dinner, and a nap. Probably a drink.”

Charly reached out and pushed my legs back on to the bed. “You’re under observation for another hour. Dry-drowning risk.”

I groaned and gave her a pleading look. “I’m hungry, and this isn’t my bed. It’s honestly half the reason I’m in such a bad mood. You and Arthur probably make absolute perfect sense to less-sleepy, fed Sophia, but right now, not so much.”

“Your limey assistant is bringing a change of clothes, your sister, and some food,” Arthur smirked. “So you get to stay right there, not die, and get some sleep.”

“But Mac…”

“Is at Derek and Sam’s, but very nice try,” he confessed.

“I wanna go home,” I grumbled sullenly.

Maverick nodded, and gulped down some water Charly handed him. “Did someone turn on the scrubbers in there yet?”

Conor and I turned wide eyes to him. The thought apparently never occurred to either of us. “Charly love,” Conor started hesitantly. “How much bigger was the cloud than you thought?”

“I’m not sure,” she confessed, sheepish. “It was pretty big.”

Rubbing my face briskly, I suppressed the urge to sob. “My blankets… the furniture… our clothes…”

“Else is working on it.”

I glanced at Coffey, confused. “Else is? They eat iron.”

Noah’s voice broke in from the ceiling. “Correction. When still a bacterium, Else fed on iron. However, as they have evolved, their needs have expanded to include a more diverse diet.”

“Are you telling me that there are faceless baby chickens flooding our quarters, eating the chili powder?”

“They do show a preference for foods more toxic to the general Galaxy. We estimate that this is due to their origin within human beings, who share the same marked trait.”

“At least someone is appreciating my hard work,” Charly grumbled.

I strained to suppress a smile. “I’ll make you whatever you want for dinner, for a week, to make up for being ungrateful?”

“Maybe just tell Alistair it was an accident? He gets upset when you almost die.”

“Both?”

“Both. Both is good.”

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#the miys #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #aliens #improvised weaponry #found family #apocalypse #earth is space australia #science fiction #original science fiction #post apocalypse #post post apocalypse #sci fi #original sci fi #original writing #my writing

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imagine-that-100 · 5 years ago

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Halloween

Description: Ross MacDonald x Reader (Female) | You and your group of friends had loved Halloween since being kids and every year you went above and beyond with your costumes. When you needed a duo costume Ross was always the one you’d go to and over the years you’d become closer and closer. And that means that feelings get stronger and stronger. But would you be in for a trick or a treat?

Word Count: 10.4k

Warnings: Game of Thrones spoilers

A/N: Happy Halloween everyone! Here’s my little treat to you all! My Ross Anon thank you so much for sending this in. This is one of my favourite fics I’ve written and I’m glad it’s for my favourite member of one of my favourite bands. Hope you all enjoy! I’d love to see some of your reactions! Thank you for reading x

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Halloween traditions had taken place between you and your friends for years. It was something you always loved to do.

Seeing how big the ‘holiday’ was in America made you wish you were over there to celebrate. Most people around your parts didn't really care so it wasn't a big deal to dress up.

Most of your other friends saw it as an excuse to have a piss up at someone’s house, which was fine, but Halloween to you was about being scary or putting actual effort into your costume. Bunny ears and devil horns paired with a slutty dress really wasn't your style.

So you were glad you had actual friends who had the same mentality as you. Not that your lad friends would have condemned you for dressing slutty but they knew you liked to go all out for Halloween. So that's what you’d always done.

Growing up on the outskirts of Manchester meant that you could always quickly and easily go into town to find yourself something. Whether that be clothes for normal days or shopping for your favourite night of the year.

You mainly had guy friends so it was quite easy to go as something fun or scary for Halloween. And you were thankful that they were as into it as you because each year you set a budget of how much you wanted to spend on a costume.

The five of you had been friends since primary school but you’d somehow always been together for Halloween. Whether as kids that were staying at one of their houses and watching scary films after you'd been trick or treating, or eventually going out to parties... It was always the five of you.

~*~*~*~ 2003 ~*~*~*~

“What are we doing for Halloween this year?” You ask, sitting yourself down next to Matty on his settee.

“Don’t know” Matty sighs, “We need to go out and have a good around”

You look around at the other three boys who surrounded you. George already looked bored of the conversation, or perhaps he wasn't paying attention at all.

Adam looked half interested, but you could tell that he was as useless as Matty for ideas. Ross looked interested in the topic of conversation but again seemed to be no help because he was just sitting waiting for someone else to come up with something.

“I don’t mind doing face paints?” You offer, knowing you’d be decent at it. You were Fourteen and could do your makeup surprisingly well when you put your mind to it. “I think I’ll be able to do it”

“Yeah that’s good. Let’s see what costumes we can find and then you can see what face paint you can do” Ross smiles and the rest of the lads nod in agreement.

Hours later you found yourself in Manchester in the Arndale browsing the shops in search for the perfect costume. You didn't necessarily all want to go as something scary but if you weren't doing anything scary, you wanted to do something you needed to put some sort of effort into.

But maybe it wasn't the year for that and you’d have to do something like that when you were all older. You were half sure you each had a £20 note and maybe at a push one of you had an extra £5.

You were only 14 years old afterall, there weren't many ways you could get more money without begging your parents for it. And none of you were like that.

So you were all in one of the pop up shops browsing the abundance of costumes that the shop had to offer when you and Ross saw exactly what you could go as. You both paused, looked at each other and when the grin broke out on both of your faces, you had to shout the others over.

“Guys” You shout, and when they turn around to look at you, you wave them over. “I’ve got an idea”

That year you ended up going as a green ghost and the lads went as the ghostbusters. It was really fun and the pictures that you all took were all hilarious.

You’d attended one of your friends house parties and it was such a fun night. That was one of the first nights you’d got properly drunk and there was a photo of Ross almost having to pick you up and put you over his shoulder because you’d passed out and needed to get home.

You didn't remember getting home, but apparently he and George helped you back. Something which you were grateful to them for, but didn’t remember.

All you could picture from the night before was having a great time with your mates and to you that meant that you wouldn't change anything about it.

~*~*~*~ 2006 ~*~*~*~

This year, Halloween was going to be a little more difficult. You desperately wanted to go as characters from your favourite Halloween film, The Nightmare Before Christmas, but you needed one of the boys to be your Jack Skellington.

Last year you all went as the Power Rangers and you painted the masks onto each of your faces. You were the pink one, George was blue, Matty was red, Ross was black, and Adam was green.

The year before that you’d been tasked with putting your creativity to the test and you’d made really gruesome facial wounds with makeup and a wax that would stay on all your faces. You'd been really proud of it because all five of you got compliments all night and all the boys said it was your handy work.

However, you knew that this year was going to be different. You obviously wanted your Jack Skellington, but you didn't think you were going to find yourself one.

Unfortunately at the age of 17 you hadn’t yet found yourself a boyfriend. You weren't the only one so you weren't that fussed, but that just meant it would be harder for you to persuade one of your friends to be the other half of your ‘couple’ costume.

And you knew how stubborn these boys were. You knew that this year Matty and George wanted to go as Shaggy and Scooby.

Adam and his girlfriend wanted to go as Gomez and Moticia, so Adam was out of the question. So that meant that you only had one option left.

So you’d gone round to Ross’ house under the pretence of a movie night with him, to ask him if he would dress up with you. But you when you did you were half way through your second film and he was having none of it.

“Ross please” You beg him, getting onto your knees on his bed so you were blocking the TV from his view.

The brunette just shakes his head at you, “Y/N/N I don’t really want to”

You put your hands on his shoulders so he’d stop trying to look around you, “Please”

“Y/N/N” Ross sighs, before picking up the remote to pause Scream 2.

“Ross, come on” You beg him, and you’re pleading with your eyes when you say, “I never ask you for anything and none of the other lads will do it with me”

“What so I’m your last resort?” Ross asks you with his eyebrows raised.

“No, you’re the first person I've asked” You tell him honestly, “But I know that they definitely won't do it with me”

Ross shakes his head and gestures to his bedroom door, as if his mates were there, “Well go ask them”

“Ross please” You’re just fully begging now, “I’ll do anything”

A smirk makes its way onto the brunette's face then. He also raises his eyebrows suggestively when he asks, “Anything?”

“Almost anything” You roll your eyes.

You and Ross had been weirdly flirting with each other now and again over the past few months. You think he started doing it more when he complimented you on how you looked and when you went all shy and flustered on him, he enjoyed it.

So here you were now months down the line, probably a lot closer friends because of it too, and he was flirting with you whilst you both sat on his bed.

Ross’ smirk gets impossibly bigger and you can hear the suggestive tone when he grins, “You know you want to Y/N/N”

You scoff a little, “Ross MacDonald the only way you'll get me into bed is if you somehow make me stop thinking of you as my friend”

“Kiss me then and see if it changes your mind” Ross tells you confidently, moving a little closer to you, but not so much that he made you want to retreat.

“I’m not kissing you” You shake your head, your jaw a little agape until you can control yourself a little better.

You weren't expecting him to say that of all things today. This was the most overt he’d been in his flirting with you.

Ross usually liked to do it when the other guys were around, so you would get all flustered. You thought it was in hopes that one of your other friends would notice and call you out on it and ask you why.

But there had also been lingering touches too. For example, when you hugged him he would hold you for the slightest bit longer, and other times he would find a way to innocently get his hands on you, but the subtle acts of affection would have your heart rate double in speed.

“Kiss me and I'll go as Jack Skellington with you next week” Ross tries to bargain dropping the cocky act, just hoping that you would actually kiss him.

He can tell just by the way you’re looking at him that you were flustered and didn't know what to do. You more than likely didn't believe him either but he really wanted to try his luck.

Ross could also practically see the cogs whirring around in your head trying to think of a way out or an alternative to the ultimatum he just gave you. But he could see how desperate you were just a few minutes earlier.

“Don't try and think of a way around it, I just won't do it. I'll go as Jack Sparrow like I was meant to” Ross tells you and you know he’s serious.

You think about it for a few seconds and you know he’s not going to change his mind. So you give in, “Fine” and offer his hand to shake, as if it was a real business transaction.

Ross takes your hand and shakes it and you can tell he is about to smirk at you. You could practically see it rising to his lips, so to stop that you remove your hand from his after you’d completed the shake and you hold your index finger up at him.

“But you get your kiss on Halloween” You tell him.

And his entire face falls, “That wasn't the deal”

You're a little proud of yourself for making him drop his cocky act, so you tell him with a smirk, “You didn't specify when you wanted the kiss… And you already shook on it, you have to live up to your end of the deal now and be my Jack Skellington”

“Then shake my hand again to promise me that I'll get my kiss on Halloween” Ross says, holding his hand out to you.

You hold back your smirk as you take his hand and shake it.

Before either of you knew it October 31st was upon you and Ross had just walked into your bedroom. You already had all your face and body paint out ready to get started, so you were eager that your friend had finally arrived.

“Sit down, sit down” You usher him in and to sit on your desk chair.

You prep him on everything you were going to do and Ross seemed fine with everything. He was just glad that it was finally Halloween and he would get his kiss from you today.

“Am I okay to gel your hair back?” You ask him, sitting opposite him on your bed.

Ross shuffled himself towards you because he knew you’d want him closer than he was on your chair in the middle of your room now. He smiles at you and says, “I mean, you’re going to do it anyway even if I say no”

“You’re right” You grin and get yourself to work.

You’d been working on his face for half an hour now and you had the base of his face down and outlines drawn, you just needed to add all the darker stuff before you add in your detail.

“Do you enjoy doing this?” Ross asked you over the music that you’d both put on.

You’d just been in a little trance as you worked on the area just under his eyes and he couldn't help but admire you as you worked. He knew that you'd do an excellent job as you always did with your Halloween stuff.

You’d always made them all look good.

“Yeah” You grin, looking away from the lines you are drawing and into his brown eyes, “You know how much I love Halloween”

“I mean doing makeup on people” Ross corrects himself, smiling at you a little seeing your Y/E/C eyes wander from his brown ones back to whatever art you were creating on his skin.

He was genuinely interested. Half the time he thought you were going to abandon your career ambitions of being a music producer to become a makeup artist. Sometimes when you walked into the room he’d be floored by how beautiful you looked with your makeup on.

He had the exact same reaction to when he saw you with your makeup off though.

“I mean I don’t mind it but I don’t want to do it unless it’s for Halloween” You tell him honestly, trying your best to concentrate on the dark lines you were creating around his eyes. “Like I wouldn’t paint kids faces at parties and stuff like that”

Ross nods when you move back to get some more face paint on your brush. He feels the need to assure you, “You’re really good at it”

You grin when you turn back towards him, “Thank you”

Another half an hour goes by and you've moved on to around his mouth, trying to get all the teeth painted on his lips and up onto his cheeks. Jack Skellington had a huge toothy smile and you were going to do your best to replicate that on your friend.

You were just glad he didn't have his beard that he so desperately wanted to grow, or this would be nothing but a fantasy. The conversation moves on to this ‘holiday’ as Halloween was both yours and Ross’ favourite day of the year.

“What are we going as next year?” Ross asks you as you get more paint on your brush again.

Ross had to be very aware of when he could speak as he knew you’d murder him if he ruined the art that you were putting onto his body. You’d hate him even more if he did it before you even got to the party.

You try your best to think of different duo Halloween costumes, but you couldn’t really think of much. You shrugged before randomly picking, “We could go as Woody and Jessie?”

Ross nodded a little, “That’s a fun one”

You both threw a few ideas out but Woody and Jessie seemed to be the preferred choice over them. Or that was the case until you had a brain wave.

“Oh, you know what would be good?” You ask, removing your brush away from his skin so he could get excited the same way you were.

Ross raised his now non existent eyebrows at you, and smiling at you seeing you bounce a little on your bed getting excited at whatever idea you’d just had. Your grinning like a mad woman when you say, “Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable”

Ross’ jaw dropped at that great idea. He loved it. “Oh my god, yes! Let’s do that”

“Okay sorted” You grin before you finish off his makeup by adding extra details with eyeshadow to create more definition where it was needed.

Another two hours went by and you were all Sally’ied up. And Ross wasn't shy with his compliments of what you’d created too.

All you had left to do was spray the top of Ross’ hair white and then put your costumes on. You’d gone all out with the costumes too, Ross had the striped suit and you had the patchy dress.

You loved these characters so much that you’d gone all out on body paint to make your arms blue, like the colour of Sally’s skin in the film, and you’d got tights that were blue too. You’d also got a decent wig and you could safely say that you were proud of what you’d created.

And you had to admit to yourself that Ross looked really good, especially in his suit.

When you were both dressed and ready to head downstairs to inevitably take pictures, Ross stopped you by your bedroom door. He was holding your waist when he asked, “So when do I get my kiss Sweetheart?”

“MacDonald you have to be joking” You shake your head at him, “We’ve been in here five hours, I’m not ruining our makeup just to kiss you”

“So when do I get it?” He was persistent and wanted an answer, and he was certain that you’d be flushed if your skin wasn’t painted blue.

“We have all night Ross” You remind him, “And I’m certainly not ruining either of our faces before we get to that party”

Ross lets you slip out of his grasp knowing you were right and it really would be a waste of time if you ruined your hard work before your other friends got a chance to compliment you on it.

When you both headed downstairs you got so many pictures with him it was unreal. It was truly a surprise he didn't want to escape you by the end of the night, because you’d been forced into a bunch more at the party too.

But Ross was still hanging around you, always ready to include you in a conversation that he was roped into, ensuring you were never left out. It had been a nice night and surprisingly uneventful.

All except for Ross’ lingering touches and tight holds. You didn't mind per say because you were drinking and if anyone questioned you on it you could just blame it on that.

Because there was no way in hell you’d be telling anyone that you liked the way it felt to have Ross hold you against his side like you were his. He was your friend who found it funny to flirt with you at the end of the day, and nothing more.

You certainly wouldn’t be jeopardizing that to find out if it was anything more.

But apparently your dearest friend didn't hold those same worries as you.

When you went around telling everyone that you were going home around 3am because your taxi was about to arrive, Ross followed you outside. Partly making sure you got in the car okay, but also partly for selfish reasons.

“Where’s my kiss?” Ross asked you after the door closed behind him, seeing you stood near the end of the driveway.

“Oh Ross” You cooed, walking over to him to cup his cheek. He looked down at you like he was confused and to be fair to him, he had every right to be. “Thought you’d have learnt by now MacDonald…”

“I said I’d kiss you on Halloween” You remind him, and Ross nods understanding that.

“It is Halloween” He says, looking at you like you’d lost the plot.

There was a little bip of a car horn then which made you turn around to signal 1 minute to the driver. When you turn back around to your close friend, you leant up to whisper into his ear.

“I didn't say I'd kiss you this Halloween” You grin, letting your lips brush against his ear as you said it.

When you move out of his grasp though, you send him an evil knowing smirk before you head over to your taxi. And Ross hated that this had been your plan all along.

So you left him there, outside the party with his jaw locked, and a little fuming at you that you’d played him like that. But he couldn't even bring himself to be angry at you for more than the 2 minutes he stood there watching the taxi drive away.

He’d practically spent the full day with you and he’d loved every second.

~*~*~*~*~*~

After that night Ross and you always did Halloween together no matter what. And those nights with each other were some of the best nights of both of your lives.

Despite Ross still not getting his kiss, even when it wasn’t Halloween.

2007 you both went as Kim and Ron like you’d agreed and the year after that you both made an appearance as Jessie and Woody from Toy Story. The next few years after that you all went back to group costumes.

2009 saw you all as the characters from the Wizard of Oz. You went as Dorothy, Ross was the lion, Matty was the scarecrow, Adam was the tinman,and George was Toto.

2010 you all went as the ghosts from Pac-Man which was quite fun running about chasing each other for half the night. The year after, you all went as Spongebob characters which was amusing when you did the voices all night.

In 2012 you all went as the Avengers which was amazing. You went as Black Widow, Ross went as Thor, Adam went as Hawkeye, Matty was Captain America, and George was Iron Man.

2013 resulted in you and Ross reverting back to your duo costumes and you went as Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swan. The following year you went as Alice and the Mad Hatter but you made the characters slightly more gory with your makeup.

2015 saw you and Ross as a couple from The Purge but then the other lad jumped on the bandwagon and bought masks along with you. So the year again resulted in a really fun group costume.

But in 2016 there was a bit of a debate over Halloween because the guys were on their US tour. And that obviously meant that this was the first year you’d be alone this time around.

Or so you thought.

“Y/N/N come on” Ross pleaded with you over the phone.

“Ross I can't just fly out to America” You say still really shocked that he’d asked you to join them on tour.

Ross is adamant though, “Yes, you can”

“I can't” You tell him shaking your head as if he could see you.

There was no way you could be out of the studio for that long. You were trying to finish producing Wolf Alice’s upcoming album, and you all wanted it done as soon as possible and you were only at the beginning of the process now.

“You can” Ross tells you sternly, “I’ve already asked Jamie to give it you off and he said it's fine”

“Ross” You scorn him, “You can't do that”

You couldn’t believe you he’d gone above your head and asked Jamie.

“Well I can and he was fine with it. He said that the band needs a break from it anyway” Your best friend tells you, and he follows up with, “I'm sorry but it’s done now and your ticket is paid for”

“Ross” You gasp.

You had no idea he’d booked the ticket.

“Y/N, I've spent the last fifteen years doing Halloween with you and the fact that we have a show on Halloween means that you can’t not come and see it. And Hann has made it massively Star Wars themed so we're all dressing up on stage for the night ” Ross tells you, ”You can't not dress up and come to the show with us”

“Are you sure?” You ask after a few moments in complete shock.

But the more you thought about it, the more you wanted to spend your favourite night of the year with him. You hadn’t seen him in person since early July and now it was the last week of October.

“Of course I’m sure Y/N/N” Ross tells you and you can hear how sincere he’s being.

“There'd literally be no point in me doing this Halloween show if you weren't there at the side of the stage, in a costume of your own, cheering me on” You can practically hear his smile thinking about it and it just gets you excited too.

“What am I even going to go as, apart from the obvious ones? There's not a lot of female characters in Star Wars and I'm assuming Matty is going as Princess Leia” You say with a massive grin on your face.

To be honest you could picture Matty taking the piss and showing up at her. It would be quite amusing.

Ross let out a loud laugh at what you said and you were silently giggling to yourself at the thought of it. He informed you that John was actually going as Leia and that thought alone had you in fits of giggles.

You had a massive grin on your face and it didn't leave as Ross told you that Matty was going as Kylo Ren, Adam was obviously going as Han Solo (you laughed more than you'd care to admit when he told you that), George was going as a Luke Skywalker in the Red 5 pilot outfit and Ross was going as Chewbacca.

“Ross you‘re going to be sweating so much” You laugh.

“Yeah I know but it's going to be so fun” He grinned, wishing he could see you get excited over Halloween, “And afterwards, when we go out, I'm going as Poe so I'll be alright after my shower”

You ask him curiously, “What do you want me to go as?”

“Personally...” Ross started, trying to contain the grin breaking out on his face, “I’d like to see you as Leia in that gold bikini”

“Course you would” You grin shaking your head even though he couldn't see you.

And you were glad he couldn’t because you could feel that your cheeks were hot.

The flirting between you hadn’t stopped over the years. It obviously did when you were both in relationships but it always creeped back in when you were both single.

“How about we go with Rey, if she hasn't been taken?” You suggest, remembering that her outfit in the film was pretty cool.

“She hasn't been taken, no, but I’d really like you to go as slave Leia” Ross informs you and you can hear his smirk.

Your jaw drops but you don’t let that affect you. You fire back, as if he didn’t just make you silently gasp, “We don't always get what we want”

“I know“ Ross grins, “I’ve been waiting for my Halloween kiss for the past decade”

You giggle, “Are you still not over that?”

“Absolutely not, you left me there absolutely gutted. Seventeen year old me is still injured” Ross tells you and you can hear the humour in his voice.

“Well Ross, maybe if you didn't get a girlfriend the next year you’d have got it then” You tease.

Ross just gasps though, “Says you! You’re the one who was in a relationship for five years after that”

“Don’t say that like you were left out” You say a little offended. “Halloween has been, and always will be, mine and yours’ thing... Still dressed up with you every single year and I have done since I can remember”

Ross mumbles, “I know” a few times and you settle into a small comfortable silence. You liked it when you were just aware of the others presence and that you could speak up when you wanted to.

“I‘m glad you're coming this year… It means a lot Y/N/N” Ross tells you genuinely.

You smile hearing him say that. You bit your bottom lip to stop yourself from fully grinning.

You tell him honestly but say it as a little joke, “I'm glad I don't have to spend it on my own”

You chat for a little longer, getting as much out of the phone call as you could. With you busy during the day with work, it left you tired most nights and with Ross in America at least 5 hours behind you, there weren't many nights you found yourselves able to talk to each other.

But when you’re wrapping up your conversation, you think back to your costume for this year. “Okay so we're in agreement on my costume then?”

“Yeah of course” Ross tells you, “I’ll order you the slave Leia costume now, just send me your sizes”

You can hear his suggestive smirk and it makes you smile but you sternly tell him, “Rey, Ross...I’m being serious”

“Whatever Princess” Ross grins, “I’ll see you soon”

~*~*~*~

The concert in Pittsburgh was amazing and was easily their best and funniest gig you'd been to. You were standing at the side of the stage and you couldn't stop laughing the entire time.

Partly because you were watching Matty walk around with a lightsaber on stage like it was always meant to happen and because Hann was Han Solo and you found it a lot funnier than you should have. But also partly, and mostly, because you were watching Ross play bass in a fucking Chewbacca costume.

It was everything you didn't know you needed in your life.

It was so fun earlier watching them all get changed. It was like a new lease of life before they all went on stage.

You hadn’t seen them like this before and it was really refreshing to see all of your friends so energised before a gig. It was unusual because usually it was a calm before the storm atmosphere, but this time it was the complete opposite.

Matty was waving his lightsaber around like he was a Jedi Knight or a Sith Lord and to be fair to him he was pretty good at it. You’d been surprised multiple times when he hadn't dropped the thing to the ground.

George, dressed in his orange jumpsuit, was standing on the settee that was backstage and he was jumping all over it like he was in an X-Wing trying to make his way through the Kessel Run. He was acting crazy, like Michael Scott from The Office in the parkour scene, except with Star Wars sound effects being released from his lips.

Adam was just as bad getting his blaster out of his holster every few seconds to try and make George dodge the shots he was ‘firing’. But unsurprisingly the loudest one of them all was your Wookiee who was making the Chewbacca noise at the top of his voice.

God help him when he had to sing ‘End of your cigarette’ later on.

They dragged you into being loud too. You were dressed in Rey's costume, obviously from The Force Awakens, a film you’d seen many times with this bunch.

So you really shouldn't have been surprised when Matty dragged you into a lightsaber fight like you really were the characters who you were dressed up as. You’d been fighting for a few minutes, trying your best to actually fight but also trying not to break the lightsabers you had.

“Are you really trying to use the force right now?” You laugh as you circle each other, watching Matty as he held his hand up in the air at you.

Matty grinned, “Thought choking you might distract you”

“The thought might do if you were Adam Driver. But alas… You're just Matthew Healy” You shrug the comment off.

He had nothing on Adam Driver.

“Sorry, I'll get your Chewie over here to do it to you instead” Matty teased, his tongue teasingly sticking out a bit, knowing about the weird flirty relationship between you and Ross.

You shook your head at the curly haired man before you started fighting with him again. This time with a little more incentive to injure him.

Unfortunately though, he was saved by the bell and it was showtime. You wished them all luck before you made your way to the side of the stage so you could watch the new and improved movie titles move up the screen.

You loved every single second of this concert. You were so glad you’d been invited and you came.

During the break between the encore Ross had come over to you to tell you that everyone was coming on stage who was dressed up and he told you that you had to as well. You agreed but there was no way in hell you’d be doing it.

You just told him what he wanted so he’d leave you to it and so he could get back to his job. However when the end of the gig was upon you, and you were refusing to come out, Ross came over to the side of the stage and pulled you on to the centre with Matty, George, and Adam along with the rest of the crew and you were just all stood there cheering along with the crowd.

The night had been amazing and certainly one you’d never forget. You were watching your best friends perform on stage in Pittsburgh and they were dressed as Star Wars characters.

It was mental and you loved every second.

When you all walked off stage and got into a more spacious room everyone spread out, but you were still in Ross’ arms. He pulled you into a hug when you walked to the side of the large room and you hugged your Wookiee back.

You could feel how hot he was through his costume and you honestly weren’t surprised. You raised your hands up to remove his mask for him and your jaw dropped when you saw his face underneath.

One, because he was the sweatiest you’d ever seen him, and two, he looked so fucking good. The fine layer of sweat that coated his skin made him look like he was glowing, his hair was a little matted against his forehead but it held in a way that just looked very attractive to you.

And when his brown eyes connected with your Y/E/C ones, your heart skipped a beat. You could see that he was full of adrenaline, completely happy, and buzzing with excitement.

“You’re so sweaty, oh my god” You gasp, biting your bottom lip in an attempt to not comment again.

“You love me so you shouldn't care” Ross said as he pulled you into another warm hug.

Of course, you hugged him back, letting his mask fall to the floor as you did so. When your arms went tight around his neck, you said, “Yeah I do love you, but I’ll love you more after your shower”

“You‘re dripping wet” You say, brushing your hand down his chest on the fur on his costume from the sweat that coated your hand when you held the back of his neck to hug him.

Ross smirked down at you then, “You sure that's not you seeing me in this wonderful outfit?”

“Oh yeah” You play along, grinning up at him, making no moves to get out of his steady hold on you, “Chewbacca’s fit as fuck”

Ross chuckles down at you then and you see his gaze flick to your lips for a brief second. It seems to spark a memory on his mind because a second later he asks you, “Can I have my kiss now then Darling?”

“Go and have a shower and I’ll think about it” You tell him with a little smirk over the noise of the busy room.

“Want a kiss on my cheek before I go” He tells you with a torturous smirk.

God he looked so good. But you didn’t want to give in that easily.

“You‘re all sweaty Ross” You protest and try and move out of his grip.

His hold on your just tightens though so your stuck against his body as he says, “I‘m not letting you go until I get it”

“Fine” You shake your head before looking back at his glistening cheek.

You lean up and you quickly place a kiss on his left cheek. The top of his beard prickles the bottom of your lip, but it just makes you all the more aware that it is your best friend Ross who you were kissing.

“And the other cheek” Ross tells you when you pull away.

He’d never been such a needy person with you before. When Ross came home each time of course you always gave him a massive hug and a kiss on the cheek.

But something was different about it right here and right now. And you both knew that.

“What are we? French?” You giggle a little.

“If you wanna French kiss me Y/N, you’re very welcome to” Ross grins down at you and you can’t help but laugh.

Your cheeks were definitely getting hotter but you couldn’t find it in you to care when he held your hips the way he was doing. You just tried to remain calm under his intense gaze.

“Pushing your luck now” You chuckle.

“Fine” Ross smiles but turns his head, “Kiss on the cheek”

You lean in to kiss his right cheek expecting to get the same fine layer of swear on his smooth skin with the top of his beard prickling your lip again. But instead you're met with his lips because Ross had turned his head at the last second to make sure he finally got his Halloween kiss.

It’s only a peck but your eyes widen from it and when you pull away, your jaw has dropped. Ross is the complete opposite though. He’s completely overjoyed that his little trick had paid off and he lets you go and jumps away from you.

It was the reaction you’d expect from a man who’d had a hard life winning the lottery and never having to work again. It was like his dreams had come through.

Ross teased you about it for a good two minutes, watching as you grew more flustered with every passing comment. He loved your reaction to him though, he would forever enjoy making you stumble on your words because of something he did.

When Ross rushed off to his dressing room to have a shower you stayed behind not wanting to be in anyone’s way. It was also an attempt to control yourself again.

You managed to peel your jaw off the ground when you sat yourself down on a random railing that was in the concrete room as you waited for your friends to rejoin you. You knew how eager everyone was to get to this party, so you were quite excited to spend the night with them.

But as you rested on this railing you slipped into your thoughts. And that was started by a simple old habit of yours that was your tongue wetting your lips.

When your tongue made contact with your lips you weren’t expecting the salty taste you found there. You realised quickly that the new taste on them had been left there from when your lips pressed to Ross’ skin. But the more you thought about it, it just lurred you deeper down the rabbit hole.

It made you wonder if that’s what his skin would taste like when you pressed a kiss to his neck after having some fun with him in his bed. Is that what his lips would taste like after you’d both coaxed an orgasm out of each other and you were basking in the feeling after it by attaching your lips to his?

You’d been having these thoughts for a while. The ones that questioned if you or Ross could be something more than you already were without ruining anything between you.

You spoke to him all the time, he was your confidant, someone you trusted wholly. But could you trust him with your heart?

You didn't know.

About an hour later, you were out at the bar that they had privately hired for the whole crew to have an awesome night and it truly was one. Halloween music played through the speakers and you already knew it was your favourite Halloween to date.

Everything about it was special. The setting, the amount of effort that had gone into it, the costumes, and the company.

You and your friends were all tipsy now. Whilst most of the crew was up on the dancefloor, you little group of friends were sat in a booth, just absorbing in the atmosphere and enjoying the conversations you were having.

You were also happy that Ross hadn’t shied away from you after earlier on. Not that you thought he would have done, but you were really glad he was acting the same flirty way with you even after he’d got his kiss.

“You look really good” Ross’ lips brushed your ear as he told you over the loud music.

You grin, leaning into his side a bit more, “Thank you”

You'd always liked to toy with him so you told the freshly showered man a lie, “You looked better with the Chewie mask on”

“Y/N” Ross’ jaw dropped, “I’m appalled”

You tipsily giggle, “I’m only joking”

You let your eyes wander up and down his new attire and his freshly gelled hair until your eyes find his again, “You make a good Poe Dameron”

“As good as Oscar Isaac?” Ross asks, despite knowing the way you just looked at him was a lot more than just checking his costume.

“You do well, Ross” You grin at him but then his smile turns into a teasing knowing smirk.

So you hold up a finger at him, “Don’t make me retract my compliment because you’re getting cocky”

“I got my kiss. Can’t help but be a bit cocky” Ross pulls you into his side a bit more and again you make no attempt to stop him.

“You mean you stole your kiss” You tell him with a knowing look.

That information didn’t seem to be important to him though, because Ross grins at you as he says, “But I got it is the main thing”

“You may have got a better one if you just waited” You tell him.

Patience is a virtue afterall.

Ross shakes his head though, “I don’t think I could have taken another year of waiting”

You grin, sort of liking knowing that he wanted to kiss you, “Got the patience of a saint, haven't you?”

“Well…” Ross smirks, ”You know me”

A few hours pass and you’re now standing just beside the table that held all your groups empty glasses and you hugged your friend close to you. Your arms were around Ross’ waist and his were around your shoulders, both drunkenly just enjoying the other's hold and company.

You both just stood there people watching for the longest time. Looking at Matty still wafting that stupid lightsaber about whilst Adam looked like he was on top of the world because he was finally his favourite character.

You think George had disappeared off for a smoke but you didn’t care much. You just felt completely content with your arms around your best friend and your face resting against his chest.

Standing there watching all your friends mess around with the crew having the best time just made your heart swell. You felt so lucky to be a part of their lives and you were thankful you’d stayed close friends with them all.

It seemed like a full lifetime ago that you were sitting in your bedroom turning Ross into Jack Skellington. Yet now you were here stood somewhere in Pittsburgh, in his arms and you honestly didn’t want to be anywhere else on your favourite night of the year.

Or any night of the year for that matter.

You pick your head up off his chest and look up at him. Ross’ drunken eyes meet yours and he gives you his adorable lazy grin all while feeling his hand absentmindedly run up and down your back. You couldn’t help but grin back.

“Thank you for bringing me here” You tell him, looking into beautiful brown eyes.

“Thank you for coming” Ross told you, “Don’t know what I’d do without you, especially today”

You felt your heart skip a beat at how genuine he was being with you. You knew he was being sincere with you

“Don’t know what I’d do without you in general” You tell him.

Ross stops caressing your back then and his hold on you goes firm, almost like he wanted you to really understand what he’s about to tell you next.

“You don’t ever have to find out” He tells you and you feel like you could just cry in happiness.

You do something then that Ross never believed would happen. But here you were removing your arms from around his back, reaching them up to the back of his neck and pulling him down so you could kiss him.

The moment your lips met it was like they were always meant to be attached. The peck before had been teasing but you both knew that this was the real deal.

As your lips moved against his, you felt his hold on you tighten which you encouraged by letting your fingers lace into the back of his hair that was in desperate need of a cut. You wanted him, you wanted more of him, and you were thankful Ross seemed to want more too because he deepened your kiss.

When your tongue met his, you both melted into each other. You didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world other than with him in the exact situation you were in now.

The way the butterflies erupted in your stomach was a clear indication that you obviously felt more than just friendship towards Ross. And the fact that your heart beat always picked up in his presence was another giveaway.

You were surprised you weren’t currently having a heart attack because you could feel how fast your heart was beating. And you’d only ever felt like this when you kissed someone you truly liked.

So the answer to your question of ’if you could trust Ross with your heart or not’ was something you truly didn't know. But then another question came from that which was, ‘Were you filling to find out?’

And from this kiss alone you knew that you were willing to give him everything.

~*~*~*~ 2019 ~*~*~*~

“Can you just let me do this to you please” You beg the brunette.

“You can do whatever you want to me if you stay sat like that” Ross says suggestively with a massive smirk on his face.

You were currently straddling his waist in an attempt to get a start on his Halloween makeup. It was the only way you could get him to stop moving and he evidently wasn’t complaining about the position.

“Ross” You shake your head at your boyfriend of almost 3 years. “I‘ve sat like this plenty of times with a lot less clothes on and you've been less suggestive then”

Ross just rolls his eyes at you, but his suggestiveness stays, “Maybe I just want you like that now with a lot less clothes on”

“You can wait till later on” You tell him, picking up your sponge that held the white face paint.

“But I want you now Darling” Ross purred into your ear after leaning forward and nuzzling your neck.

“Macdonald, stop it” You tell him sternly when you feel him begin to trail kisses down your neck.

However, you made no attempt to actually get him to move away. You liked the feeling of his lips on your skin too much.

“You‘ve never once told me to stop kissing your neck and I don't intend to start doing now” Your boyfriend tells you, his kisses becoming a little more possessive on your skin.

“Ross” You sigh.

It was a little half hearted telling off though because you put the sponge back down and tilted your head a little to let him carry on the pleasurable actions. Who wasn’t a sucker for neck kisses?

“Y/N” Ross grins against your skin, evidently loving that he knew you weren’t going to stop him just yet.

After another minute, you had to call time, “Okay, you've had your fun”

You use the hand that wasn’t covered in white paint to pull on his hair and remove his lips from your skin. You look into his brown eyes and give him a silent warning before you air a verbal one.

“Let me finish you off” You tell him picking your sponge back up.

You’d only covered his forehead. You needed to get a move on, the party was in 5 hours and when you practiced the look you were going for, it took you 2 hours to do it on yourself.

“Stand up a second and let me get my pants off then” Ross teases and he makes you release a noise that was something between a scoff and a gasp.

“You know I mean your face paint, you horny bastard” You say slapping his chest which makes him laugh.

You were really good at creative makeup, a skill that you were so glad you’d stumbled across all those years back after buying the same shitty costumes got boring. You were going as clowns this year and you didn't want to go as Pennywise or anything so you just decided to have a mess around with the makeup that you had.

George was throwing the party this year and obviously you and Ross were going as a matching pair like you’d been doing for years. Except this time you and Ross were obviously an actual couple, like you were last year too.

You shouldn't have been so stubborn for so long with refusing to kiss him, because on Halloween night all after his concert you’d barely been apart since. Your relationship started at the end of that American tour and you’d been with him happily ever since.

About an hour into you painting his face, Ross asks you, “What's your favourite costume of ours been?”

“I don't know” You say, still concentrating on trying to turn him into a scary jester. “I thought Mario and the gang was fun last year”

Matty and George went as Mario and Luigi, you were Princess Peach and Ross was Donkey Kong and Adam was Waluigi. It had been hilarious and one of your favourite ones, mostly because you pissed about all night, and Matty kept stealing you from Ross, like a role reversal of the actual game.

“I thought that the year before as the Game of Thrones characters was good” Ross thought out loud and you had to agree.

“Yeah... To be honest, I enjoyed being Daenerys and you were a good Night King” You smiled at the memory, applying the layers of paint to Ross’ skin delicately now.

“I can’t believe how amazing you did my make up that year. Like everyone didn't know who i was” Ross couldn’t help but grin.

He’d been so over the moon to be in amazing makeup that you’d created, and at the same time he was so proud of you being so clever. He truly thought he had the perfect girlfriend, there was no way you could get any better.

“That may have been because you clean shaved for it though” You think out loud and smile when you add, “When I woke up the next morning I was like ‘Where's my Ross gone?’”

“Yeah yeah, I remember you begging me to grow the beard back” Ross once again finds himself smiling which you meant you had to stop decorating his skim for a moment.

His smile was award winning, you loved looking at him when he smiled.

“Was back by Christmas” You grin. “I love it... You know I do” You grin, scratching his beard a little and Ross gives you that loving smile he always has done when you do that to him.

“The memory of that Halloween was better before the last season with the Dani and Jon thing” You say as you get back to business, adding more detail to his pretty, but now slightly spooky face.

“Yeah” Ross agrees, “You’re mine, not Matty’s”

“Yeah well, he had the curly hair so it made sense, and we weren't to know they’d shag” You chuckle a little.

Ross laughs a little then, telling you, “I’m still not over george going as Drogon”

“Don’t” You burst into a fit of giggles.

It truly had been an amazing night.

But not as amazing as the night you were about to experience.

“You’re the prettiest clown I’ve ever seen” Ross told you once you came down the stairs in your shared home, in your costume and full face of makeup.

“Thank you” You grin.

You liked that you’d make the both of you pretty spooky, and the detail that was on both of your faces actually made you proud. You liked that you were good at something and the fact that that thing was Halloween makeup made you even happier.

“You look a hell of a lot better than any other clown I’ve seen too” You grin at your boyfriend, pulling your clown up from the settee.

“I don’t know how much of a compliment that is considering we know of Twisty from American Horror Story and Pennywise from IT”

“Well” You shrug your shoulders pulling him towards the front door, “You’re a pretty clown”

You were running slightly late and you wanted to make the most of your night. After all Halloween was the best night of the year.

Before you make it outside though, Ross pulls you back towards him and says, “Give us a kiss” and he leans in to attach his lips to yours.

The pre-drinks had evidently gone to his head because that wasn’t going to happen.

“Woah, wait” You say, placing your hand on his chest, “Absolutely not Ross, the facepaint!”

He doesn’t seem to care though because he goes in to kiss you again and you almost screech, “Ross!”

He looked a little hurt by your rejection but in hindsight he should have known you’d deny him the simple pleasure of your kisses. It was your favourite night after all and you never let anything ruin it.

“I’m being serious, you can kiss me every other night of the year, but until we are back here later on after the party your face is allowed nowhere near mine” You tell him, giving him a pointed look.

Ross should have known you’d never give in to your little ultimatum, no matter how obvious he made it that he wanted your kisses. But Ross had a plan of action for that.

A plan that had been prepared even before you’d denied him kisses today though. And about 4 hours into the party when you were both a little tipsy Ross put his plan into motion.

“Oh” Your boyfriend say, grabbing your attention, ”I forgot, I got you something for our anniversary”

You furrow your eyebrows, “Ross, it’s not for another month”

He’d officially asked you out towards the end of November when his tour finished and you obviously said yes. You’d been acting like a couple since that Halloween anyway but you just didn’t label it for a few weeks.

You’d been over the moon when he asked though.

“Well, the anniversary of when I got my kiss then” Ross corrects himself, taking your hand in his.

“Right okay” You giggle, loving that he remembered.

“How did you get whatever it is here?” Your curious self asks as you follow Ross into George’s back lounge away from the crowd of people in the other room.

The only people in this room were the rest of the band and their significant others, along with Jamie and John. Seems like you all wanted to escape from the noise of the booming speakers in the other room.

Ross turns to you a little when he tells you, “Had to keep it hidden from you, didn’t I? Or you’d have found it”

You grin, knowing he was right. You were too nosy for your own good.

Ross let’s go of your hand just before he reaches George’s bookshelves and you smile at your adorable boyfriend when he reaches up and pulls too balloons down.

Ross then holds out two balloons to you, as if they were ice cream cones. Both balloons were orange with pumpkin faces on them but one said trick underneath and the other said treat.

Your cute boyfriend asks you, “Trick or treat?”

“Treat” You smile and Ross seems happy with your choice.

He tosses the other balloon away and it falls to the floor silently. Ross keeps your attention and then hands you a shitty kiddy Halloween spider pin that’d also been on George’s shelf.

“Use the needle on this to pop the balloon. I’ll hold it” Ross tells you and you endeavor to do as you’re told.

He holds it at the bottom, like an ice cream cone, and you pop the top of it, something which causes a load of glitter and confetti to burst out of it. You followed it down expecting just that to be your cute little treat that your boyfriend had made for you.

But you saw that the bursting of the balloon left a small silver box in Ross’ hand. It looked like something you’d put earrings inside or a little trinket or cufflinks or something.

So when he handed it to you to open, with a grin, you were expecting cute little spider earrings or something along those lines.

What you weren't expecting was for your eyes to focus so much on undoing the little silver bow around it that you didn't see your boyfriend kneel down on the floor. And you certainly didn't expect to find a diamond ring when you got the lid off the box.

As soon as your eyes found the diamond they widened in shock and when you glanced back up to your boyfriend and he wasn't there, you let out a gasp when you spotted him kneeling down on the floor.

Ross was grinning at you in the most loving way, adoring your reaction to the surprise engagement he’d been planning since you first said you’d be his. So he took your hand that was holding the box, in his soft ones and kept you there.

Ross wanted to tell you all the ways in which he loved you here in front of everyone and deliver his speech he’d been practicing over and over again, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

All he could get out was,

“Y/N/N I love you more than you’ll ever understand, and I'd really love to spend the rest of my life with you” Ross tells you, trying his best not to stand up and hug you into his arms like he was dying to.

So with an erratic heartbeat, Ross continued to ask, “Will you please marry me?”

“Course I will” You giggle out, you felt like you were bursting with the love that you had for him, “Yes”

Everything seemed to be a whirlwind after you kissed him when he slipped the ring onto your finger. All of the lads came over and gave you the biggest of hugs and a load of kisses.

You couldn’t believe it at all.

Everyone was so lovely congratulating you but all you wanted was to be in your boyfri-, no, your fiancé’s arms. Once all congratulations are out of the way, you find your way back to him, your arms circle his neck and you kiss his soft lips once more.

“I'm so happy you said yes” Ross mumbles against your lips.

You pull away though a little shocked and ask, “Did you think I'd say no?”

“No, well…” Ross seems to be a little indecisive there but he explains, “I don‘t know, I was just nervous I guess”

“Awh, you actually are a clown” You giggle, noting once more that he was a clown, now in more than one sense.

You couldn’t believe that he thought you’d answer anything but yes.

Ross just laughs at your joke and you don’t hesitate to tell him, “I love you so much Ross MacDonald”

“I love you Y/N Y/L/N” Ross tells you and you can’t stop your lips from travelling to his again.

His hold on your waist tightens as your hands, one now more decorated than the other, move up into his hair. You kiss him with all the passion that you were currently feeling, needing to express those feelings in a way that was more than what your words could do.

And you just wanted all of him. He was your best friend and had been for so many years, you wanted his last name, you wanted to wake up next to him every day for the rest of your life.

He was your life. And you were his.

So you tried to deepen the kiss, but your fiancé briefly froze and pulled away, but kept you close. As he paused the kiss, Ross gasped looking at you in shock, “Woah, wait”

“What?” You ask him, not understanding why he suddenly pulled away.

“What about the facepaint?” Ross all but grins at you, obviously thinking he was funny.

“Shut the fuck up” You giggle before you press you lips to his.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought! x

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scarecrow-supremacy · 4 years ago

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Arranged Love | Pt 4

Thank you to Mrs. Hatake for requesting this prompt to me!

In which: f!reader is interested in being in a fwb like relationship, but is forced into an arranged marriage with the one and only, Hatake Kakashi. Both (y/n) and Kakashi only agree to marry for the sake of convivence. (y/n) with her needs, and Kakashi with his wish to revive his clan.

AO3 Chapter

Lime/Smut warning

*Lime, but the next chapter will probably be smut ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)*

Infinite things I could hate about you

The way you walk

The way you talk

The way you capture my mind

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick...

You counted the soft noises of the clock, knowing full well that your alarm clock was bound to go off at any moment now. You could have gotten up to start your day early, but you, quite frankly, lack the motivation to do so. Anyways, it was your day off. Being productive is highly overrated... You mentally uttered. Why get out of bed when you could cuddle with your plush lavender body-sized pillow all morning? You groaned, your actions making your further realize how friggen lonely you felt within. If only the pillow could have been a person...

You glared daggers at the rose gold engagement ring upon your finger. Technically, you really weren't lonely. Hell, there was a part of you that would have preferred to be alone again. Why him?! Annoyed thoughts swarmed your mind, keeping you from attaining proper relaxation. Of all people...Why him? You pulled your pillow closer to your chest, burying your face into the cool silken cover and squeezing it tightly. Why, why, why? Your mind paced. It wasn't that you were thinking about him, Hatake Kakashi, so much. It was how you thought about him that filled you up with despair.

New feelings...shining in a new light.

What is wrong with me?!

Your eyes traveled to your stomach, your diary still opened up to the page you were writing last night. The whole diary idea was Kurenai's, back when you were made jonin, around the age of 14. She knew you weren't the best with opening up to people. So to let out your pains, she had recommended writing about them. And in honesty, you were glad that you had decided to take her advice. Writing did make you feel better. Ranting out all of your troubles without any worries of being judged. As of these days, most of your entries were about Kakashi or how you wanted to relieve yourself. It's almost concerned you that you wrote about him so damn much. Just shove him aside!

"Urg!" Your groaned, gathering the willpower to get up from your blanket cocoon and take a nice and warm shower, "Sulking won't do any good..." With a sigh, you entered your kitchen, telling yourself that you'd shower after grabbing something to replenish your hunger. It was glaringly obvious that cooking wasn't your forte. In fact, you were absolutely horrendous at it. Honestly, you wouldn't be surprised if you somehow managed to burn water while trying to boil it. You, the woman dubbed Ibara-hime, the Thorn Princess, could not cook if your life depended on it.

After contemplating what you could make without burning your kitchen down, you simply made yourself a cup of your favorite herbal tea to energize your body. It wasn't much, but it helped wake you up.

Ding dong, the bell to your apartment rang. "Gimme a sec!" You called out the person, throwing on your flak jacket just for formalities. "Oh..." Your face fell, yet your stomach fluttered, "It's you–"

"Yeah, it's me," one Hatake Kakashi mocked the tone you had greeted him with, running his fingers through his silvery hair. You didn't want to think much of it, but his hair just looked so soft...

"What do ya want, Hatake?" You put your hands on your hips and pouted.

Kakashi groaned as he made himself welcome inside your quaint home, "I'm bored," He simply told you, plopping himself right in the middle of your couch. What a dick, you muttered, having to sit on a chair instead of the sofa. "Wahh..?" You whispered as Kakashi's eyes took in ever single bit of you. Your skin started to burn, although his gaze wasn't exactly giving off a positive vibe. "Stop eyeing me like that, Hatake." You mustered up the courage to spit out.

"Oi, it's not my fault," Kakashi sassed, "Take a look at what you're wearing, yariman." Slut, his deep and rich voice had called you.

Anger stirred up inside of you, along with embarrassment, causing your skin to feel as if it was on fire. You felt yourself get flustered as you looked down at your short skirt, which had rid up your legs, and lacy dark green bra that had been reveled by your unzipped vest. "O-oh!" You breathed, your hand going to zip up your flak jacket, yet was slapped away before you could. "What the hell, Hatake?" You flashed him a bewildered look.

Kakashi chuckled smugly, the smirk under his mask apparent, "Don't... I kinda like you dressed like this." He stated matter-of-factly.

"But you j-just," You stuttered out, "called me a..." you trailed off, averting you eyes. Urg, the audacity of this pervert, your inner self spoke. "Perverted idiot."

"Call me what you want," Kakashi grabbed your hand, "I'm your perverted idiot, forever." He laughed softly. Woah, he never acts like this...

"Did somebody drug you?" you sweat-dropped, unintentionally blurted out your thoughts, "You normally don't act like this."

Kakashi sent you a wary look, but you could tell he felt slightly hurt by your remark, "No..." he replied cautiously, "I just thought...it would be good to loosen up."

Your expression softened ever so slightly, "Oh..." the two of you sat in pin drop silence.

"You know," Kakashi ventured, "dark green is my favorite color."

"Hatake!" You yelped, instinctively covering your chest, "I'm going to take a shower!" You turned you back to your dreaded fiancé, stomping out of the room to go bathe.

"I might as well join you then," Kakashi shrugged, causing you to stop dead in your tracks.

"I'm sorry what?!" you exclaimed

"I haven't showered yet today."

"Urg..!" He's drugged, I'm sure of it... you thought, finally giving in to Kakashi. "Kitanai yarō!"

"Well," Kakashi tapped his foot, carefully placing his flak jacket upon the silken sheets of your bed, "aren't you going to strip down?" He asked as he started to remove the cloth bindings from his thigh and ankles.

"Y-yeah..." you flushed softly, "J-just gimme a second." You dashed off, tossing my clothes into your basket of dirty laundry and grabbing a towel to wrap around your bare body, "Okay..." you mumbled, peaking your head out from the bathroom. The tension in the room was heavy and hot, almost uncomfortable. It was...something you had never felt. Hence, you couldn't put your finger on a way properly to describe the situation. Yet heat rushed to your core, even the tiniest smidge of arousal turning on your mind. You felt like your every movement was being recorded in Kakashi's mind. His gaze digging into your soul like a kunai in delicate flesh. Like his– No, no, no, no! No pervy thoughts, (y/n)! Stay classy, you ordered your mind, preventing it from trailing off. We have a dignity, remember?

You hesitantly got into the shower, testing the waters for the proper temperature. "Ahhh," you moaned ever so slightly, the raining down of the water slipping down your body and rejuvenating your sores from the previous night's round of nightmares. "Oi..." Kakashi started to speak as he entered the shower from behind you, ending up grunting incoherently. You shook your head, sighing in disapproval whilst rubbing from body wash into your soft (s/t) skin. You felt a pair of hands brush past your hair, reaching for the hair conditioner, "Rose and sandalwood, eh? No wonder you smell like a garden and incense shop." Kakashi breathed down your neck.

You tried your best not to look back at him, your heart racing for reasons you tried to reject. Nope! We can't be falling for him! You let out a slight gasp as Kakashi's hands found their way to your hips, tracing the gracefully toned muscles of your stomach. "Kakashi...what are you doing?" You whispered, just loud enough to be heard over the running water.

"I read your diary," you could practically heard the smirk on Kakashi's face, "I think I can help you with your needs..." Kakashi licked the helix of your ear. A shudder went down your spine, a foreign though crossing your mind. Maybe, just maybe, we could make this work... your mind ventured. "Kami, I've been having some problems myself, big problems..." Kakashi told you, his voice velvety coffee as he nipped at your neck. His hardening length pressing against your round ass. You could feel your walls start to clench; you were surprised that your body was reacting to Kakashi's touch like this.

No disturbance could get in the way of this exhilarating moment, right?

"(Y/N)! RAIDŌ ASKED ME OUT! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!" The voice of Mitarashi Anko screeched, she wandered into your bathroom, "YESS!"

"Anko..." You cringed, clenching your fists, "W-wrong t-time..." You moaned as Kakashi's finger teased your clit.

"What?" Anko called out, "I can't hear you over the water. Could ya speak up."

Kakashi pumped faster, "You heard her, louder." His intentions directing towards your moans, blessed music to his ears.

You sucked your breath, "N-never m-mind, Anko!" You managed to force out, trying your absolute hardest to not moan.

"Wait...Is that..." Anko's voice trailed off, "Kakashi's mask, and his..."

"A-anko! Pl-pleas j-just..." you bit your tongue, "go. Ju-just tell me l-later!" You begged her, turning to look at Kakashi with pleading eyes. Not now, Kakashi, you tried to convey with your widened (e/c) eyes.

"OH HELL NO! SORRY!" Anko cried out, causing Kakashi to pull his fingers out of you with a let down sigh. The smoke of Anko's hasty teleportation jutsu lingering for a few moments.

The mood had officially been broken. Thanks a lot, Anko, you mentally swore. But holy hell, you were about to get laid. Shamefully, you looked at the floor as Kakashi rinsed our your hair. "I–" you tried to speak, yet your voice faltered as you took a moment to observe Kakashi's face.

"Are you still in for it?" Kakashi raised his eyebrow; his left eye lidded.

"Oh! Uh..." your heart suddenly fluttered, "Y-yeah." You told him shyly.

Kakashi flashed you a smirk, "How about we just dry off, then..." He winked at you.

Yep, I'm convinced he's drugged... There's no other explanation...

Infinite things I try to love about you

They way you walk

The way you talk

The way you capture my mind

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chloebeale · 4 years ago

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i tested positive for covid in october last year. i stayed home, if i did go out because i absolutely had to i always wore a mask, but my dad is classed as an essential worker so he has been working throughout and his job requires him to be in contact with a lot of people every day, which is where we assume our whole household got it. it sucks but it’s just one of those things.

anyway, it’s almost march now and i am still sick with one thing or another every single day. i developed parosmia and phantosmia (thank you @mcrololo who was incredible and found some possible treatments for this for me, but unfortunately none of those have worked so far) because of the virus, which also impacted my taste sense and now there are only a handful of foods i can actually eat without throwing up because of the replacement taste/smell.

my life is genuinely not the same as it was before covid. i’m so down constantly because of all of the resulting health issues. i try to stay inside even now when i can help it, but when i was walking my dog the other day i saw stickers plastered everywhere saying “covid is a lie, the media is the virus” and honestly it was just so so sickening. the amount of people not wearing masks, not taking it seriously, is just so disgusting.

i’m mostly just making this post to complain because i really am just feeling so defeated and downtrodden thanks to all of this, but if anyone does happen to see this and is still under the impression that covid doesn’t exist, or that you don’t need to wear a mask to protect yourself and others, then you really need to rethink your views. my dad wears his mask every day, he sanitises his hands and his truck between each delivery he makes, and he still managed to catch it likely because others didn’t care to protect him.

please, seriously, if you don’t care about yourself and your own health then that’s your deal, but do not put other people through this. i can’t explain how hellish these last almost five months have been and i don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel yet. do not put someone else in my position, i’m literally begging.

#ellie talks #covid 19

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cocochannel00 · 5 years ago

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Quarantine Date

Boyfriend!Harry plans a date in the era of social distancing...

A big PSA to all of my lovely followers: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WEAR A MASK AND SOCIAL DISTANCE WHEN IN PUBLIC. DON’T PUT YOURSELF AND OTHER PEOPLE AT RISK

Harry knew how important your work was to you. You were an essential worker during the COVID pandemic and had been working rigours 12+ hour shift at the hospital. You had barely seen or talked to Harry over the last couple of months, mainly because he had been locked down in LA for the first half of quarantine and you had been basically living in the hospital lounge. You had been dating Harry for almost a year now so you knew what it was like to have him far away, but this time it felt different. This time all you wanted to was spend your day off curled up in bed with Harry and watch as he tried to imitate Heath Ledger's accent in 10 Things I Hate About You instead of watching it by yourself. I guess you’d just have to spend the day wallowing in self pity with your tub of ice cream.

You were half way through your movie when your phone rang. Too lazy to look at who’s calling to picked up the phone and spoke a quick hello.

“You. Me. Date tonight. No excuses” the person said through the phone.

“Why Tom Holland I’m flattered, but I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend already” you replied back as a joke.

“Ha ha very funny (y/n) and besides I know you don’t have Tom’s number yet. But seriously, I’ve been home nearly a week and I haven’t seen you in person.” Harry spoke.

“Haz, 4 patients on my floor tested positive for COVID this week. I don’t want to expose you or god forbid Anne or Gemma to it”

“We can do a social distance date, I’ll plan the whole thing,” Harry practically begged.

“Harry I don’t know...” you stated with a sigh.

“I know today is your day off and you’re probably curled up in bed with some ice cream right now so hear me out. You stay in your room and relax for the rest of the day and I’ll spend the day planning our date tonight. Please, love, I really want to see you even if it’s six feet apart and with a mask” Harry pleaded.

“Ok ok fine I’ll go on a social distancing date with you but only if you promise to stay 6 ft away” you said sternly.

“I’ll bring a measuring tape so you can double check” he replied as you laughed.

“Wonderful, I can’t wait. Do I need to wear something special to this date tonight?” You asked curiously.

“That’s a surprise for later”

“Harold you know I hate surprises” you whined over the phone.

“I know that’s why I love them. Now I need to go, I have lots of planning to do for tonight. Love you”

“Love you too, H. See you tonight” you replied before hanging up the phone.

You were excited yet nervous to see Harry in person. Seeing his face through zoom was one thing but seeming all of him in person without being able to run up and hug him could very well crush you on the spot. All you knew for sure was that thinking about this date was take up your entire day. You weren’t one for grand cheesy gestures and you hated being the center of attention so you prayed that Harry didn’t go overboard on the whole evening.

You groaned quietly as you rolled over the the other side of your bed (usually Harry’s side) and checked the alarm clock to see it was only 5 pm so you had at least another 3 hours of wallowing in self pity until Harry came back. For once you just wanted the clock to move faster. Sinking back down into your sheets you ran a hand through your wet hair from your morning shower. You knew you should have brushed it earlier so that it didn’t frizz , but you hadn’t been expecting company and you didn’t really care what you looked like under all your PPE at the hospital. Just as you were beginning to detangle your hair you got a message from Harry.

Harry: Wear pajamas tonight, we’re going extra comfy. Love you - H

You smiled at the message and placed the phone back onto your lap. Nothing could ever put a smile on your face faster than Harry’s name popping up on your screen. Back when you first started dating and you had been stressed about going back to work after visiting him on tour he would send you pictures of puppies every morning just to cheer you up. Now he’s resorted to other much less innocent tactics to try and cheer you up when you’re have a bad day, but you couldn’t complain (especially during quarantine). With all that said, Harry continues to surprise you daily so to say you were excited for your date night would be an understatement. The only thing getting you through the wait was knowing you needed to take at least a 2 hour nap before he got there otherwise you would pass out during your date tonight.

——————— /// ——————— // ——————-

You woke up to the sound of “Kiwi” blasting in your ear as the timer you had set went off. Carefully, you untangled yourself from your excessively long phone charger before check the time and realizing you only had ten minutes to get ready. How many times had you pressed snooze in your sleep? You were in too much of a rush to figure it out as you raced to your closet to put on a comfy pair of pajama shorts and an old college t shirt. Even though Harry said it was going to be casual you decided to still go through the effort of putting on a bit of concealer and foundation to try and cover up the bags under your eyes. You were just rubbing in your moisturizer when you got another text from Harry.

Harry: I’m downstairs, don’t look out your window. Come to the backyard when you’re ready because our date night is about to begin. - H

You grinned widely at the message and quickly finished putting on the rest of your make-up while also running a brush through your hair. Your hair had definitely had better days but it was too late to do anything besides put your hair in a bun to try and keep the frizz down with the growing humidity. With one last look in the mirror, you went downstairs to go meet Harry.

You carefully made your way to the door and grabbed one of your cloth masks off of the counter before putting it on and opening the door to your backyard. Your porch had been covered in fairy lights and two mountains of pillows had been placed on opposite sides of the backyard. In the middle their stood a giant sheet with a projector set up underneath it. It looked like something out of a rom-com and you were shocked that Harry was able to set all of this up without you knowing. Just as you were about to call out Harry’s name you saw him walk in through the back door with a mask on, a bottle of wine in his hands. He was wearing one of your favorite striped shirts that you said made him look like Where’s Waldo’s cousin.

“I know it’s not exactly how I would have liked to see you on our first date in months, but I made sure to measure out the 1 meter (6 feet) for the cushions” Harry stated as he placed the bottle of wine down on a table next to a box of pizza.

Your eyes began to water at the sight of him in front of you. It had been so long since you had seen him in person and so much had happened in your life in the last couple months that all you wanted to do was run up and wrap your arms around him. You impulsively put your arms out and took a couple of steps forward before you remembered that you couldn’t touch him and put your hands down. A tear fell down your cheek just as Harry looked up from the bottle he was attempting to open.

“Y/n what’s wrong love. Did I do something wrong?” He asked cautiously as you shook your head.

“Just missed you a lot. Wanted to give you a hug, but I don’t want to risk it” you replied softly as you took off your mask and wiped the stray tears from your face.

Harry slowly took off his mask and gave you a sympathetic smile, “Wish I could run up and hug you too, love. Missed you so much these past couple of weeks. Thought I was going to go crazy with Jeff and all that baking in LA”.

You chuckled softly at his efforts of lightening the mood before scrunching your nose the extensive facial hair you didn’t remember seeing before.

“When did you grow that fuzz ball on your face?” you questioned sarcastically as you made your way over to one of the pillow piles.

Harry scoffed at your remark and ran his hand across his face, “Excuse me miss [y/l/n] but this has taken me nearly four months to grow and I’d say it is much more than just a fuzz ball”

“You’re right Har, you definitely grew it out to pornstar level. Proud of you baby” you said with a giggle as Harry glared at you.

“I did not come here to get harassed about my new look” Harry grumbled jokingly as he gave you his cheshire smile.

“You’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t make fun of your tremendous accomplishments. Thank you by the way, for putting all of this together. This was really sweet. Oh my god, stop, is this your fuzzy sweater” You said with a squeal as you put on his multicolored cardigan he had placed on top of a blanket. You inhaled the smell of his Tom Ford cologne and smiled.

“I figured since I can’t give you a hug yet, you could wear that” he replied back as he carefully opened the box of pizza he had placed on a small table in the middle of the porch.

You moaned softly as you stared at the pizza just a few feet away from you.

“Why have I never heard you moan like that for me in bed?” Harry joked as you glared at him.

“That was my foodgasm moan. You know damn well I don’t keep quiet with you so I don’t want to hear any complaints. Now, give me two slices of that delicious pizza please”

Harry laughed at your response as he placed his mask back on and put on some hand sanitizer before placing two piece of pizza on a plate and pouring you a glass of wine. He walked over to you carefully and placed the food and the glass on a tray next to you that you hadn’t seen. You thanked him before placing the tray in your lap and taking a sip of your wine. Harry began to grab himself a slice when you shouted his name and took out your phone.

“Wait I want to get a picture of you in person. I can’t keep stalking your fans’ accounts to get pictures of you.” you mumbled as you tapped on your camera.

Harry nodded grudgingly before he took off his mask and began posing with the bottle of wine.

“I think I could be one of those influencers” he joked as he nearly spilled the wine onto his shirt.

“I think maybe we should leave that to the pros” you replied jokingly as you curled up into your pillow fort and began munching on your food.

Harry sat down in the the pillow fort adjacent to yours on your porch. The two of you talked as you ate and tried to catch each other up on anything that you had missed on your various facetime calls. It was nice to be able to see him in person and know that he was okay. You had been so worried he would catch it while in LA and even though he wasn’t in one of the high risk categories you had witnessed several health people die of the disease and you didn’t even want to think about Harry in that situation. After you had both finished your meals Harry decided to put on “10 Things I Hate About You” and proceed to jump up next to the sheet you guys were using for a screen and act out the entire bleacher serenade live.

You could not keep the smile off of your face that night. Harry had this way of making you forget all of your problems when you were with him and you were grateful to have found someone as caring as him.

“ I love you H, thank you for a wonderful night” you whispered as the credits rolled onto the screen.

“Anything for you love. Glad I got to see for a bit even if you did fall asleep on me halfway through the movie.” He replied back with a grin.

“It wasn’t my fault! You made my pillow fort to cozy, how could I resist a cat nap?” you stated as you smiled at him.

“Can’t blame you for it. Got a couple of cute pictures of you sleeping for my lock screen though.” He replied with a smirk as you groaned.

“Harry I was definitely drooling, you need to delete those” you said as Harry shook his head.

“Can’t do that. Got to show mom our lovely date night”

“Fine, but no one else sees that picture besides Anne. I can’t have Mitch and Jeff teasing me everytime I see them like with the whole ketchup fiasco.” you mumbled as you began to fold the blanket you had wrapped around your body during the movie.

“Leave everything there love, you need to go get some sleep before your shift tomorrow. I’ll clean all of this up, you just head inside for me” Harry stated as he turned off the projector and began taking down the sheet.

“Are you sure?” you asked hesitantly.

‘Yes, love, you need your rest. Go, come on. I can’t have you falling asleep while taking care of your patients.” Harry replied.

You hesitated for a minute before buttoning up the sweater Harry had given you and putting your mask back on.

“I don’t want to leave here without giving you a hug” you stated softly as Harry looked at you with a small smile.

“(Y/n) if you want a hug all you have to do is ask, would have given you one the minute I got here. Let me grab my mask.”

“You’re sure you’re okay with this? I got tested two days ago for COVID and the last 6 have been negative but I don’t get the results till tomorrow and I don’t want you to get ill” you replied with a hesitant look.

“Love I think with all of the hand washing and the masks we’ll be okay, but I’ll only give you one if you want it” he said as he put on his mask and adjusted the nose wire.

“I want one” you said as Harry opened his arms up for you.

You practically jumped into his arms and nearly started sobbing from the first really physical contact you’ve had with anybody in weeks.

“God I love you so much (Y/n)” Harry stated as he tugged you closer and placed a kiss on your temple through his mask.

“I love you too H” you replied back as you closed your eyes tight and tried to hold on as long as possible.

“Good now come on, get to bed so you’re well rested for tomorrow. I’ll come back tomorrow night with some dinner after your shift so we can eat together again. Would that be ok?” he asked as he placed his hands on your hips.

“That would be lovely. I get off at 8 tomorrow”

“I’ll be waiting for you here, don’t worry” Harry stated.

“Ok, I’ll go. I love you” you replied as you carefully untangled yourself from Harry and slowly made your way inside.

“I love you too. good night Haz”

“Night love, see you tomorrow”

———————————————————————

@thereal(y/n) Someone tell my boyfriend that he’s not cool enough to be sponsored by this amazing wine

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@harrystyles Tell that to Gucci

@annetwist You two are too cute

@jeffazoff Sharing is caring Harold

Masterlist

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #boyfriend!harry #one direction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #fluff!harry #harry styles masterlist

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witchygagirlwrites · 5 years ago

Text

Best Friend (Part 3/3)

you and Kevin are best friends but when you start to fall for him you start pulling away until a life threatening situation urges you to confess how you feel

Kevin was sitting in the corner of the waiting room at Med. It had taken too long for Gabby and Sylvie to get you back. Minutes passed precious minutes that could mean the difference in whether or not you woke up.

The ride to med was the longest one he'd ever experienced. He couldn't ride in the ambulance because he'd been too upset Adam had basically drug him into a car. Otis had climbed in the back of the ambulance with Gabby to help bag you while she worked on stabilizing your injuries. Time you got to Med Will and Connor along with an army of nurses met you in the ambulance bay.

He'd stood outside trauma one watching as Will ventilated you. Your heart was beating but your lungs couldn't breathe on their own yet. You had inhaled too much smoke. He'd stood frozen to the spot until Kim and Adam had talked him into going to the waiting room which was packed with family members of the victims of the fire but one corner of the room was nothing but fire and cpd waiting to hear anything on you.

-----

Gabby and Sylvie both sat leaned against Antonio who was going from silently praying to trying to keep everyone calm.

Adam and Jay had both tried to talk to Kevin but after he snapped at Kim everyone had given him a wide berth knowing if he had acted that way towards her any of the men may have to duck a punch.

-----

Your words kept playing through his head "I love you Kev. You need to know that"

Why hadn't he realized it before then? Why hadn't he told you how he felt? Hell Vinessa and Jordan had called him out more than once but he always thought you just saw him as a friend nothing more and he didn't want to risk your friendship on feelings you may not reciprocate now he may never have the chance to tell you how he felt.

-----

The pregnant woman Jessica was going to be ok. She was far enough along her OB had decided inducing labor would be safer than waiting to check the baby's lung capacity.

She'd given birth to a seven pound, two ounce little girl about half an hour before. Mom and baby were both going to be ok thanks to you.

They'd given the baby your name as her middle name citing that she wouldn't have been born had it not been for you. Jessica told her husband and Sylvie how you had given her the mask and the fire blanket then never left her side and how you had shielded her with your own body when the roof collapsed.

From what Casey and Severide said you had effectively sheilded her. They'd found the two of you under a portion of roof but Jessica hadn't been injured beyond her leg that she told them was broken before the roof came in. She'd been sending her husband down to the emergency department as she could to try to find out any news on you but after the third trip Will had told him someone would come up because it was only causing more stress on Jessica and the people who loved you.

-----

He was proud of you even if what you did was the stupidest thing he'd ever seen. The paramedics had been told time and again after Shay died not to go in a building. He knew you though once you found out there was someone inside and heard that person hell itself wouldn't have kept you out. Your bravery was one of the many reasons he loved you.

Hell he could start now and that baby would be going into kindergarten by the time he got through listing all the reasons he loved you.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes willing for all of this to be a bad dream and him to wake up and be able to start this day over.

A phone ringing pulled everyone's attention to the bag sitting at Sylvie's feet. Your bag. She cut her eyes at Gabby who nodded so she leaned over and unzipped the bag to find your phone sitting on top. when she pulled it out she showed the phone to Antonio who cursed under his breath before taking it and standing up.

Kevin hadn't moved when the phone rang because honestly he hadn't cared. If it was anything to do with you Will would have came out to tell them but when Antonio bumped his foot he glanced up and saw your phone was being held out to him and his heart stopped seeing Vinessa's name and a picture of you and her flash across the screen.

He took the phone from Antonio and took a breath before answering "Hey Vinessa" "Kev?"

He steadied himself for the next part of this conversation "Where's auntie?" "Hold on I'll go get her. Is everything ok?" "Just go get her" he answered being more snappy than he usually would be with his sister but not wanting to have to tell her what was going on with you not yet.

-----

He told his aunt what had happened and the shape you were currently in. "She's strong Kevin. She'll pull through" she assured him but he couldn't shake the image of your body hanging limp in Kelly's arms. "I don't know what I'm gonna do if she don't" he admitted feeling like a portion of his heart was getting ripped out his chest at the prospect of you dying.

"Keep faith in her and the doctors. If she's half the woman you and these kids say she is she'll wake up" he spotted Will walking towards him so told her he had to go. The last thing she told him was "I really want to meet her one day" then hung up.

-----

Everyone held their breath when they spotted Will. Sylvie and Kim stood to be next to Kevin as he heard whatever news was coming.

Will let out a breath and smiled slightly "She's got a concussion from the blow, fourteen staples in the back of her head and bruised ribs but all in all she was lucky considering. Now as far as the smoke inhalation goes we're slowly weaning her off the ventilator and so far she's doing good. If she continues at this pace she'll be backing breathing on her own before morning. She's medicated so she's resting but Kev she's going to recover"

Kevin felt himself weaken at hearing you were going to be ok. He'd been preparing himself for the worse but now he knew you were coming back to him.

He pulled Kim then Sylvie into a hug. "She's going to be ok" Kim reminded with a smile.

-----

Will let everyone go to your room two at a time. Seeing you with a breathing tube in was hard but knowing you would recover lessened the blow.

Once everyone had saw you mainly to reassure themselves you were still intact they began to trickle out to head home and get some sleep so they could all come back in the morning before shifts started to check on you. Kevin however couldn't bring himself to leave so Will cleared it for him to stay overnight.

-----

He sat at your bed staring at your chest as it rose and fell. Your breathing was getting better. In the last few hours they had removed the breathing tube completely leaving you on just oxygen but you were still sleeping from the pain medication they'd given you.

Will had left orders with the night shift on keeping a check on you and that he would be in first thing to check your lung functions.

He was beyond tired. Sleep had been nipping at him since everyone left earlier but in his mind if he fell asleep something would happen to you and he couldn't chance it.

His aunt had called again for an update on you and was happy to hear they were confident in your recovery. He'd talked to Vinessa and Jordan and they were both worried about you and made him promise to call as soon as you were up to talking again.

He sat looking through the numerous photos of you and his siblings he had on his phone. He settled on one in particular that Vinessa had taken on her last birthday. You were smiling and hanging off his neck as you ducked a water balloon thrown by Kim and Adam.

Why hadn't he realized then he was in love with you? He finally drifted off to sleep with one hand touching your arm that was closest to him.

-----

Everything hurt as you swam out from under the fog of unconsciousness. The last thing you remembered was blocking Jessica from the piece of roof that was crashing down on the two of you.

You felt a weight on your left arm and slowly opened your eyes to see Kevin fast asleep with his head leaned over on your arm. He looked so peaceful you didn't want to move and risk waking him but you needed to see just how badly you were hurt not to mention you had to see how Jessica and her baby were.

Despite the pain you were feeling a touch of embarrassment hit when you remembered telling Kevin you loved him. Was that why he'd stayed? A sense of guilt? Or maybe he felt the same? That thought made a small smile slip onto your face but you pushed it down and looked around for the call button and hit it once hoping whoever came in would keep it down a bit until you at least found out what happened after you were knocked out.

------

Will's head popped around the corner and he gave you a small smile. You help one finger to your lips and he looked down and saw Kevin still asleep "How ya feeling wonder woman?" He whispered coming closer to listen to your breathing. "Not that wonderful" you croaked out grimacing at the sound of your own voice pushing the oxygen down once he gave the ok.

"So do you wanna know about yourself first or about Jessica and her little girl?"

-----

After showing you a couple pics on his phone of Jessica and your name sake Will gave you a rundown of your own injuries and you were honestly surprised you'd faired as well as you did.

"Has he been here all night?" You asked and felt Kevin stirring before he sat up rubbing his eyes "He's been here since they brought you in"

Will smiled and said "I'll give you two a few minutes. There's some tests we need to run on you but for now just rest. You need it" "Thanks Will" you replied with a tired smile. He winked at you before walking out "I'd say any time but I prefer not to see you again like this"

A silence fell between you and Kevin once Will walked out. He spoke your name quietly bringing his eyes up to yours and you felt tears spring to your eyes “Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.” you begged closing your eyes and leaning back against the pillows.

You couldn't face the pity you were sure was in his eyes. He was your friend of course he'd stayed to make sure you didn't die but now that he knew you were on the mend would come the talk that he didn't feel the same way.

He reached out and grabbed your hand running his thumb across the back of it. "Angel look at me please" you opened your eyes slowly and when he saw the tears brimming in them it hurt his heart. "Seeing Kelly carry you out that building felt like my whole world stopped. You weren't breathing, you were bleeding and they wouldn't let me get to you. It took me a while to realize it myself but I've been in love with you for almost as long as I've known you. You're my best friend and I don't want to ever have to doubt that you know how I feel about you again. So please baby don't think for a minute that I don't love you"

-----

You felt a smile spread across your face as Kevin's words tumbled out. When he got through he sat staring at you with an expectant look on his face as if he was scared that your confession had just been stimmed by the possibility of death.

"One request" you said turning your hand over to lace your fingers with his. A smile slipped onto his face staring at your hands before raising his eyes back to your face "Anything" he said squeezing your hand gently "are you willing to kiss me while I sound like a frog?"

He let out a shocked laugh and shrugged "Baby I'd kiss you even if you were a frog"

Kevin stood up and gently brushed his lips against yours in a tentative kiss. You raised your hand that didn't have an IV in it to pull him closer to you and deepen the kiss.

The sound of Will clearing his throat at the door made Kevin pull away from you with a smile. "I love you Kevin" you whispered pressing another quick kiss to his lips before he could pull away completely. "I love you too sweetheart" he said with a smile before stepping back so Will could get up to your side.

Will looked between the two of you and chuckled "I always thought you two would be good together"

#chicago pd fanfiction #chicago pd fic #one chicago fanfic #kevin atwater drabble #kevin atwater x reader

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kyousei-archive · 4 years ago

Text

unmasked

A headcanon as to what Kakuzu’s life was before recruitment into the Akatsuki. Please keep in mind this background will heavily influence my interpretation of Kakuzu’s character and make personal relationships with him more than just difficult!

Tanned skin, dark eyes. Brunette. She was tiny, at least in comparison to him. Unassuming and normal all things considered.

– But, god, she was beautiful.

Perhaps it was her smile that had captured him at first, or that even, tranquil personality that had tamed the most fearsome temperament in all of Takigakure. He’d been young then, a mere Chuunin destined for great things – headed for the Council to bring their country to peace. However, seeing how easily that man could fly into a fit of rage… any sort of idea like that would be a long time coming.

His former squad had all been killed and friends had been hard to come by. Takigakure was poor, horribly so. Even their most capable warriors, their Elders and Council members – they could only grasp for anything to keep them afloat, often resorting to testing their own morals in order to survive. Family killing family, friends turning against friends. It wasn’t capable of fazing him any longer. His own mother and father had been swiped clean off the face of the earth, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t deal with.

Perhaps that had been why he had always seen himself more as a Doton user, instead of the affinity for water that he was in possession of. Stone was hard, immovable. It was like him. Cold one moment and burning like magma the next. Kakuzu wasn’t water. He wasn’t tranquil or beautiful. In fact, he was rather scarred and gruff looking.

It had always been like that. He’d been given a strong jaw from his father, broad shoulders and a built chest. Though it had always been his eyes that had scared people off the quickest. It hadn’t been his quick temper or his appearance, no… His eyes were unique in Taki, mint and maroon and harsh. It wasn’t rare for a single glance to send others running.

Not her. Certainly not her.

The library, as strange as it sounded, had always been a place of peace for the Chuunin. He could read and learn about the history of his village, about the beastly Choumei that had once plagued this land. It was relaxing, a welcomed silence from the blood and gore he had been forced to endure day after day protecting his village.

Though there had been one time his peace had undoubtedly turned on its head… A quiet day, just like any other, that those strange eyes had taken advantage of by drinking in information from dusty scrolls and thick manuscripts.

“They’re pretty.”

He’d jolted, not expecting a voice from someone he hadn’t sensed approached. Eyes had blinked once, twice, three times upon sitting fully upright, and his upper body turned toward the visitor that had interrupted his silence. Kiyomi. He would have never guessed exactly what the future would hold for them back then. At the time, he’d simply thought of it as an annoyance.

Kakuzu was silent, tanned lips pulling into a small frown as brows knit beneath his headband. What had she been talking about..?

“Your eyes, I mean. I’ve never seen anything like them.”

Maybe it was then that she’d completely captured his attention, especially after that miniscule smile that had accompanied her words. Kiyomi was a civilian nowhere near any sort of match for the shinobi, but still brave enough to approach him in his time of solace. – Or maybe she didn’t know. He hadn’t been certain at the time which he would have liked better. Nor would he really ever be certain.

Everything had seemed like such a blur from there. They’d gotten closer, able to call each other friends, and closer still. His temper that had once been known throughout all of Takigakure had all but vanished. Kakuzu had been well-mannered, irritable, but still capable of reeling in the beast that had once constituted his personality. If only for her.

He could have broken her without a second thought, as he had done to many in the past who had gone against him. And yet... he didn’t. She had made him happy – an emotion that few hidden among the waterfalls could say they had truly experienced.

Kakuzu had been able to make due supporting two. Extra missions here and there to make up for what she couldn’t had been enough then. He’d been thankful for the minor increase in salary with his promotion to Jounin. There had been one moment, though, that had sent his world to a screeching halt.

“I’m pregnant.”

He’d almost spat out his drink with the sudden information, eyes immediately falling to her stomach. Kiyomi’s belly had looked fine; there was no swell beneath her clothing, nothing at all that could have said that she was carrying a life inside of her. “—Shit.”

She had laughed at his reaction, had told him not to worry. He listened, saving every last scrap of worth that he had come into contact with for the next nine months. A family of three was a number that he could handle, which he did for quite some time. She had given him a little girl, a bundled gift that was the striking image of her mother. Thankfully. They named her Kishiko.

Four, however, was a number that weighed heavily on his shoulders. Again they were graced with one more addition to the family, a stocky boy named Hayase that seemed a combination of his parents. He had his mother’s eyes.

Mission after mission after mission had run the Jounin dry. Every spark of energy had been given to keep his small corner of the world afloat, but still he could call himself happy. They were content with what they had and grateful for every moment that Kakuzu was able to spend at home. Stress had given the shinobi a harsher stare and a perpetual frown. But still, she loved him.

There had been a single request from Takigakure’s finest warrior to the Village Council: to keep the stress of his work away from his family. They had listened for the most part, that is… Until the group of four had visited the small home on the outskirts of the village.

We have an assignment for you.

The knock on the door had been unexpected, even somewhat strange. Visitors to the household were all but nonexistent; no one dared to traverse this far out of the village simply to meet the one person who wouldn’t give them a welcome. His temper had changed, yes, but the way he acted in the face of annoyances was a different story. Kakuzu remained hostile to all that did not reside in his home, presenting a silent anger to all those he stood against. There had always seemed an air about him that churned and roared silently to itself, storming against the impending battles that were sure to come.

Until those eyes she had commented on all those years ago fell back to her. That typhoon fell into a quiet breeze that simply rippled against his thoughts. – Like water. It had been her and those brats that had turned the stone to liquid, like alchemists trying to turn granite to gold, only to fail and end up with mud.

Door having been thrown open, the last people that the Jounin had any expectation of visiting had interrupted him, had come to his home with the explicit request to stay away. How arrogant those fools were, hiding behind their masks as if their military status gave them any real power. He could have ripped them all in half before they could blink.

“We have an assignment for you.”

An assignment, Kakuzu soon realized, that would change the entirety of Takigakure forever if it was successful. It would have put his name in the history books that he adored and lost himself in. The killer of the first Hokage: Senju Hashirama.

The world was at war with one another and the surrounding waterfalls appeared to be in the center of it. Borders had been held firm against the Great Nations attempting to take Takigakure for its own, a massive feat for such a small and poor country. It was only logical to remove the biggest obstacle in the way of the Council’s goals. If Konoha fell due to the actions of their strongest Jounin, reason stated that the Shinobi War would crumble and the Five Great Elemental Nations along with it.

No one would see the spec of a country rising to power in their calculations. The balance would be shifted.

It could end.

Promises had been made to the Jounin as his assignment had been laid out for him. His family would be kept safe and out of harm’s way and the funds that he so desperately needed to keep them stable would be given without further question. They already knew what he wanted out of this and had dangled it in front of him like a carrot to a starving horse. It would benefit not only himself, but the livelihood of those he held so dear in ways that he would not be able to do for them otherwise. There had been only a small moment’s thought before Kakuzu accepted.

Kiyomi begged him not to.

It would only be later that the understanding of what he had to overcome in order to complete his mission would dawn on Kakuzu’s shoulders. This was a gamble he was nowhere near powerful enough to partake in, a gamble he’d been unknowingly led into with honey-laced words and ideals of grandeur.

– And so he left.

Senju Hashirama was a powerful leader of his country, stronger than even that of the famed Uchiha Madara. To be the master of two opposing forces, of both the ground and the sea… It took control and precision that would have been incomprehensible to someone that had only heard of the great Hokage. It was Kakuzu himself that had been forced to endure it.

Defeat had only been expected, but the remainder of his life… That was something that had not been put into his calculations. Takigakure was strict and ruthless; every shinobi of the village knew that without a doubt. He had expected humiliation and being stripped of his title. Exile and public execution were not out of the question either.

It had been the imprisonment of his family, of his wife and children that had taken him off guard. News of his failure had rippled through the village like water drops from the countless falls that dotted through the village before he had even returned. He had discovered his home burned to the ground, belongings lost to the flame as injuries that covered his body turned tanned skin a dirty crimson.

They were safe.

They had to be.

The beginning stages of panic and anger began to set in, energy drained limbs having blood stained fingers curled into tight fists. He had begun to tremble with a rage that hadn’t been allowed to let loose in years, lips pulling into a tight line and brows furrowing. Chakra was already dangerously low, yet as the silent orders from the Council were brought into effect Kakuzu was still capable of fighting off many of those Jounin he had once considered allies.

Bones cracked and blood stained the grass on his feet, yells of fury overtaking the clearing as his vision turned red.

They were safe.

The constant reminder, no matter how small of a shred of hope it had been, wasn’t enough to pull him into a state of control. He fought and fought until eyes began to blur, movements becoming sluggish as exhaustion began to catch up with his body and mind.

Having been overpowered at last, he had no choice but to be forced into a state of submission; head bowed to the ground and arms twisted behind him. Kakuzu found his chest heaving for air, heart pounding against his rib cage at even the mere prospect of the three most important people in his life being harmed because of his failure.

The Takigakure prison was where those traitors were kept, cuffed and kept in cells like animals to await their fate. He was no different, guards standing on either side of the expanse of bars that kept him contained in the small area he was allowed. How pathetic…

– But he needed to remain in control. For them.

It smelled of sins and traitors in there, an indescribable smell that burned at his senses and tore at the guilt buried deep in his gut. He had been too weak to follow through with his orders and the consequences had been accepted. Marks of traitors were tattooed into his forearms, four bands that he had found himself counting until his time was up.

Only the promise of their safety, the thought of them smiling had kept the beast of Takigakure at bay – for now. His eyes had sunken in after days of neglect, head bowed forward with locks of dirty brown obscuring his features. Hands had been secured behind his back but no attempt to escape from them had been made. He had merely sat, quietly, for hours upon hours. Reactions had tried to be pulled from him time and time again by the guards poking and prodding him with humiliating words, yet only a deep growl had been heard from the monster.

Three days had passed before he had moved, head lifting slowly with the instinct that something was wrong. Something was incredibly wrong. The guards had been talking among themselves as if their prisoner couldn’t hear, complaining about a public execution that they would miss. A woman. Two children; a boy and a girl.

He had felt his heart drop into his gut, denial washing through his nervous system in a flood. – But he knew. Those in association with traitors would be treated as traitors. Kakuzu’s wife and children would be murdered in cold blood in front of their village – the village that he had been loyal to and followed without question. Until now. No longer would he allow himself to be seen as a shinobi from this village.

The Council would no longer dangle promises of safety and prosperity in front of him. Their hearts would be in his hands.

It had started as a quiet fury, the waves of chakra pouring from his body like water from the falls having stunned the guards into silence. It grew swiftly, the red returning to his vision that he hadn’t truly seen in many years. The village had forgotten how fearsome their most powerful warrior could be when enraged beyond control; they would soon be reminded why they had feared him in the beginning.

Had that sound been him? It couldn’t have been. The noise that reached his ears must have been made by that of a monster, a terrifying roar that shuddered through him, trembling against the walls of his jail cell and into the very cores of those who were assigned to guard him. The memories of what had happened next would never truly be remembered in full detail; the fury that bubbled through his veins had blocked his senses in full.

There had been faint flashes of crimson, the scent of blood mingling through the air as each and every occupant of that prison had been ripped to pieces -- guards and their charges alike. He remembered the sounds of bones cracking, of stone crumbling under the force of his hands and the screams of those who begged for their lives. What right did they have to survive? This village had taken everything from him; they had taken his past, his present and his future in a single moment of trying to prove their superiority over the rest.

His hands had been stained red before the prison fell silent of the carnage, trembling breaths from his remaining anger the only sound heard.

But he could not stop. He ran until his muscles burned, every muscle aching in his body until Kakuzu’s only energy was a will to continue. Yet as the executioner’s clearing came into view all his eyes could focus on were shapes his mind refused to correlate to his family.

Bodies, three of them. Blood, pooled and saturated into the ground.

Kakuzu’s knees buckled underneath him.

Not a sound broke through the clearing. Silence buzzed in his ears until the noise felt like it began reverberating into his limbs, and finally into his chest.

The sun had long since fallen before he could rise.

The village had taken everything from him, so he would take everything from them. Only the most highly regarded shinobi of this country knew of their most prized technique; it was forbidden and dangerous. Kakuzu had read about it once, of the fearsome power of stealing the hearts of enemies to take their chakra and prolong a lifespan.

What a fitting end it would be for those fools. Those fools that had thought a warrior with everything to lose would be weak once it was lost.

No, they would discover that a warrior who had lost everything would sooner cut his own throat than lay down and accept that fate.

He didn’t care about the blood that had caked his clothes or his skin; his only goal was finding that scroll. The secret archives were no more secret than they were well-guarded. It seemed only the fear of discovery was what had kept thieves at bay, but his goal was clear. Whomever had found enough bravery within them to step before this monstrous beast was disposed of without a thought.

What he had not expected, however, was the pain. There was no wonder in Kakuzu’s mind why this was classified as a forbidden technique. The agony that had ripped through every muscle fiber was not of a normal scale. Only those with enough will in their bones and strength in their mind would be able to endure it.

Skin had been forced away from underlying flesh, torn and sewn back together by black tendrils that seemed to have a mind of their own. Muscle was gouged and replaced with the living threads to act as tendons and nerves. They had fully incorporated themselves into his body, leaving him weak and suffering both mentally and physically.

What would she have thought..? Bloody wounds now crossed back and forth against the skin she had loved to trail her fingers over. Kakuzu had become marred and ugly, a monster in every shape and aspect. It was Takigakure’s fault for bringing him to this point, for making him finally snap against their overwhelming rule. Each of them would suffer for their crimes against him, of their tyranny and iron fists.

He imagined their screams for mercy were the same as hers before her execution, the same as his children’s cries for help as their mother was slaughtered in front of them. These four would receive the same treatment. Four lives had been ruined by these four masked figures, one mask for each of them.

Still beating hearts had been ripped from their chests, newly acquired tendrils strangling each of the Council members ruthlessly until death itself happily took them into its arms.

Their hearts would be in his hands.

He felt no remorse for the poor souls that discovered the carnage the next morning, the sight of their leaders ripped limb from limb until they were hardly recognizable. Their masks had been taken and stitched to the very back of the man that had killed them.

They would be forced to watch the trail behind the monster they had created.

#HC. ❝ if you are prepared there won’t be any sorrow. → ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪsʜᴏᴘ.#i wrote this like.... jesus almost a decade ago.#i didnt rewrite All of it but i rewrote little pieces of it #to make it flow better #anyway this was posted on my old kakuzu blogs so if you've been in the comm for a hot minute then youve probably read this lmfao

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lydiabeckett · 4 years ago

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❝ 𝐍𝐎𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 was noticing but she was disappearing. nobody was noticing but she was already gone. ❞

Type: Self Para.

Date: April 12th, 2021.

Mentioned but not featured: Eleanor Hirsch, Georgina Livingston, Jasmine Volkan, Jack Adler, Theodore Carlson, Holliday Carlson, Christine Beckett, Gabby Livingston.

Featured: Thomas Beckett, Declan Carlson, Dr. Jeanine Pierce.

Trigger Warnings: Depression, physical abuse mention, abandonment, transplant mention, panic attack, trauma.

Nobody was noticing but she was disappearing.

There was a lot to say about enduring trauma during childhood. Something that branded you. Skin deep. Raw. Effective.

Most of the days Lydia didn’t know why she came into the world.

Her mother had been cruel. Calculating. Manipulative in ways Lydia wasn’t sure to be possible for a mother to be. Where Lydia considered herself to be a hurricane, Catherine had been a tsunami. Receding at first. Apparently apathetic, before coming and sweeping it all away.

Lydia wouldn’t admit it, but she missed her, she missed her sisters the most, but she missed her, and what kind of person could she be when she was missing a person like her?

She remembered clear as day the day her mother left her behind. No second thought. As if she was something to be scrapped and left in the junkyard. She remembered the tears streaming down her face as she begged her mother to stay until her voice went hoarse, she begged for her to take her along for the ride as well. It wasn’t just the bags, but something in Lydia knew that her mother would never come back and she was sure that she wasn’t enough to make her stay.

She cried and begged as the rain fell on them, thick and unforgiving. Lydia sobbed as her hair got swept on her face and the sobs turned into hiccups until there was nothing left in her. Lydia remembered feeling numb. A whole lot of nothing inside of her. Suffocating her. She just wanted to be gone.

Still, stupidly maybe, there was a part of her that still loved her father.

The man was violent on his best day, Lydia had been branded over and over again just because. He was a drunk too, and never sustained a job. Part of her didn’t blame her mother for wanting to leave that all behind. The other part of her beat herself up in wondering why the woman hadn’t taken her along.

A twelve year old mind didn’t know much about realizing when something was wrong. When her mother left, she had taken to herself to fill in her shoes, taking care of a man who couldn’t take care of himself. After all, if it wasn’t for him, Lydia wouldn’t have existed right? Maybe in some ways she still resented him for putting her in this world, but still. She took care of him.

For years she did his laundry, she fixed the house, she had multiple jobs and concentrated on spending the most time she had free away from home. In places she felt safe. With Eleanor in the Hirsch residence, even though she felt deeply undeserving of being there, with Jasmine and sometimes even with Gabby. How in the hell she had friends when she barely could maintain herself standing, escaped her comprehension.

Life did move on though, and once it was time, she would say she didn’t feel bad about leaving the man behind, but she did. Nevertheless, there was a bigger need for all of that. The need to get out covering the real quest to run away.

For the next few years, Lydia found her father in every man she came across. They were all undeserving of her in some ways, but they felt like home, and she didn’t recognize home in softness, in kindness or love. Home for her was harsh, violent, brutal and cruel, and times it was like she masochistically sought out home in every person she encountered. She would like to say that there was a balance, but sometimes there weren’t. Her suffering was offered and for free. It took her a long time to plant the seed of not deserving it, and she was sure that the seed had not sprouted just yet.

Daniel was the one she spent most of the time with. Daniel was undeniably charming. Daniel was powerful. Daniel made a submissive out of her in no time at all. Daniel didn’t take long to show what he was there for and when she didn’t flinch, pull away, or blamed him, Daniel kept being egged on by her helplessness.

Unlike her father, Daniel didn’t need alcohol to raise a hand and strike it down as hard as he could. Unlike her father, Daniel was sociable, funny, the way he wrapped his arms around her during dinner parties in front of his friends would make anyone believe that they were exchanging devotion, love, but it was possessiveness, obsession, submission and fear.

Five years she had stayed there, five years in the same loop. Wake up, breakfast, work, fight, rinse and repeat. No man could look at her funny. No woman could look at her funny. She wasn’t isolated inside their work space, because he could see her everywhere. She knew where she was at all times, and Lydia was stupid enough to confuse this for caring, for love, even though she knew that if it was something she wasn’t openly gushing about with Eleanor, than it must be wrong, right?

It took him almost killing her to make her walk away. She remembered waking up at the hospital and a nurse telling her that Daniel had been there every day, holding her hand, waiting for her to wake up. What a man he portrayed for other people. What about her? There was nothing left for her there anymore and she prohibited his visitors, any visitors and once she felt capable enough, she ran away, again. Pulling out a duffel bag and ending up God knew where.

She couldn’t breathe again.

She came back.

Not for him though. She quit her job at the publishing house and she found Holly. She would never admit for a woman so stoic, but Holly had been a lifeline for her. Her and her spunky little boy who Lydia never thought could fill her heart so much.

It was incredibly scary how Declan could see right through her. He was imaginative, observant and bright. Sometimes a little difficult, but hey, what kid wasn’t? He was the one who asked her what she loved to do and it shut her up, she replied “hanging out with you” but soon enough came “and writing”. If she ever managed to finish her first book, she knew she wanted a dedicatory to him, for the last three years he had been helping her continuously see the good in life and know, maybe, somewhere deep inside that she wasn’t meant for all that hurt, after all.

She never thought about being a mother before. Thinking about the times her father would look at her and say that she was “just like your mother”, and being just like her mother meant a lot of things and being unable to carry that title was one of them.

By then Lydia had already witnessed how much of a hurricane she could be. How much she was able to sweep into people’s lives, cause destruction and walk away without flinching.

Lydia remembered seeing two blue lines in a pregnancy test when she was still with Daniel. Never two blue lines made her so scared or put things into perspective. The sudden pregnancy was short-lived and Lydia resigned to life with him. Motherhood was not for her. How could she guide a child, when she couldn’t even set herself straight.

Still, Declan had shown parts of her she had never seen before. She had been able to open her heart fully and let him in. There was a connection between them and a real friendship. She loved the little man, and she always made sure to stay on top of her game when she was around him. He had brought her so many people just by being the reason she returned to Catalina.

Georgina, Jack, Jasmine, Eleanor, Teddy, Holly… the list went on and on and when she saw herself surrounded by so much--- it was suffocating, at times. Yet, she was eager to be better.

Maybe he was the reason why she had decided to test to know if she was compatible with her father.

He had come up to her in the kitchen with a bright smile while Lydia was cooking for him and asked him “why are you so sad Lydia?” It took her by surprise. Not to butter her own biscuit, but she had been excellent at wearing a sturdy mask when around people, even if her own thoughts were cloudy most of the time. She could have laughed it off and just told him that she was not, but she knelt down to his level and hugged him. “My dad is sick buddy,” the blonde confided and he hugged her back, the kind of comforting and trusting hug only a kid is able to give.

“Miss Beckett, are you ready?”

She was snapped from her thoughts by the nurse who came to call her.

She went in that morning to test herself. They said it was a simple blood work, but it was much more than that and knowing that she would need some time to recollect herself before entering the real world, she asked Holly if she could take some days off, which was unlike her to do. Nobody knew she was there.

She didn’t tell Eleanor, which was also unlike her, but she was afraid Ellie wouldn’t understand why she was doing it. The brunette had been the one who got front row and center tickets to the Lydia shit show, something she had not signed up for and she never wavered, not for a moment. Eleanor’s repetitive words of her not deserving that and of her father not deserving of anything from her were echoed in her mind, over and over again. She didn’t want to disappoint her best friend. So she didn’t tell her.

Taking a deep breath, Lydia followed the nurse down a long and well lit white hall. She hated hospitals. She really hated them. Every time she stepped in to visit her father, she got nauseous at the clean smell and how there were just people dying everywhere in that building.

She did put her brave face on that morning and once she was seated, another nurse came by and tourniqueted her arm before the recognizable pinch of the needle happened making her face screw up at the sudden pain, she hissed. The nurse had a smile on his face, and she bet that it was a reaction he had predicted many times. Once she was good to go, they directed her back to her father’s room to wait for the doctor.

Her father was sleeping and whenever he was sleeping he was almost peaceful.

She had shared with Georgina that her father’s condition was getting worse. It was funny when in the times she needed for a mother, Lydia went directly to the woman even though she was only a few years ahead of her. It was a shame that Georgina had gotten into her life too late to replace a mother that was never there, but she was thankful nonetheless. She promised she’d take up on the offer and promise of a talk, if needed, but she was unsure now, unsure that her thoughts and feelings could ever be put into words.

For someone who wanted to be a writer, Lydia was a shit communicator.

Her father had been put into ventilation for now, and the bills were sucking the life out of Lydia and her bank account looking fairly dry nowadays. Maybe if she could just finish this, she could get rid of him for good.

She would never admit it though, that there was a small part of her who wished he would be a better father after this. Bridge the gap between them. Maybe a liver transplant could change one’s personality? She hated that she was holding up on such hope. Still, absentmindedly her hand reached out for his and she wrapped it. It was calousy and hard, they were never meant for tenderness and had never shown them. Remembering the way he asked for her forgiveness the last time he was away made her stomach flip and her throat constrict. The sound of the door opening made her turn around startled, a hand flying to her chest, but it was just Dr. Pierce. She breathed out in relief.

“Lydia, did not mean to scare you, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine, I’m just a little jumpy,” Lydia smiled and put her hands inside her jeans pockets.

“You should go home and rest up a bit, I’ll be calling you in a few hours with the results, we’ll process them as quickly as we can, but we are a little backed up,” there was an apologetic tone in Dr. Pierce’s voice, to which Lydia just nodded.

“What will happen if I am compatible?”

“Those chances are high, so you should definitely be prepared. We’ll bring you in and do some more tests to know if you’ll be able to withstand the surgery well, and probably no longer than tomorrow we’ll be doing your surgery,” she explained, Lydia nodded along to let her know she was following up. “I do need to tell you again, though, your father might not survive the surgery or even recover if he does, there is a lot of damage done over the years and during the extensive period he spent in the hospital waiting for this, so even if he goes through surgery, he might not have a good recovery or even one at all.”

It was a reality check, she knew. Didn’t make her feel any less shitty though. Lydia nodded again.

“You’ll call me, right?”

Dr. Pierce confirmed once again and with a kiss to her father’s forehead, Lydia all but ran out of that hospital.

She stopped outside, catching her breath, she didn’t like the taste that the Doctor’s words left in her mouth. She had waited too long in her indecisiveness and now she might as well take the knife and kill her father herself.

She didn’t go back home, she walked around the island, wherever her feet wanted to take her. Her mind was clouded and she felt as if she could cry at any given moment. It had been days she had not been sleeping well and the concealer was doing a poor job at hiding the dark circles under her eyes. She had gotten a bit thinner as well, but she didn’t feel hungry and food made her stomach feel queasy. Nobody had quite warned her before that guilt was an all consuming feeling. It was eating her from the inside out.

It was hard to know how long it really took or how long she was walking around, but at the first chirp of her phone, her heart started hammering loudly inside her chest. She picked up and sure enough Dr. Jeanine Pierce’s voice hit her ears.

“Lydia, your tests are back, I was wondering if you could come by my office so we can have a word?”

She was there in no time, whistling down a cab as her head went a million times per hour. Was there something wrong? Was she not compatible? Was she sick too? Her mind was so busy that she almost tripped on her own feet as she got out of the cab and rushed inside. Her heart was in her throat and it was hard to swallow. Lydia rushed through the hallways to get to Dr. Pierce’s office, a place she had grown quite used to. She waited outside after identifying herself, feet tapping impatiently on the floor making her receive some looks, thankfully, her entrance was permitted quickly.

“What is it?”

She was out of breath and it showed.

“I don’t know how to say this, Lydia, but while you and your… father are compatible,” the way she said the word father made Lydia’s eyebrows furrow, “it seems that there is no correlation between the two of you. If you’re comfortable with it, I would like to take a DNA test to confirm it, but it doesn’t seem that biologically you are father and daughter.”

Lydia had heard about them before. Moments that shift your whole world.

Most people talk about them in a good light, but she wasn’t sure that was one of those. It became rather hard to focus on what the woman in front of her was saying, even though her lips were moving. She had said something about a DNA test and Lydia just nodded, not really knowing what was happening, but going along for the ride. She signed papers, she was taken down the same hall she did earlier and this time around, she didn’t feel the pinch and she was sure the nurse could see that there was nothing behind her eyes. Not fear, or pain, or relief, or joy, it was just void. A whole lot of nothingness.

She was returned to the doctor’s office and while she started speaking again, all Lydia heard was Charlie Brown’s teacher's voice. No words meant anything to her.

It did take a while, but it all returned, all at one. Her breathing suddenly grew shallow, constricted in a tight throat. Her mouth was dry. Impossibly dry. 40 days in the desert dry. Her eyes tried to focus somewhere. Anywhere, but it was all blurry. Was that what a panic attack felt like?

Dr. Pierce must have noted because she wasted no time. She had something calming about her. She was already into her 60s so she had long acquired that motherly soothing tone in her voice, but Lydia didn’t want to listen. She tried to breathe in deeply, but it wouldn’t pass through her throat. Her eyes would have been rimmed with tears had she not felt the complete void of any water inside her body. The air around her felt dry. The chair felt hard. The metal felt cold. Dr. Pierce’s hands felt weird and suddenly, everything went black.

She woke up a few hours later, dizzy and not knowing where she was. There was an IV attached to her body, pumping fluid for a much needed hydration. Still everything was fuzzy and as she looked frantically around her, Dr. Pierce was the first one to get into her line of vision.

“Calm down Lydia, you passed out after the test, you’re in the hospital, you’re fine,” she explained and her breathing came down, she needed to be out of there.

“H-How long was I out?”

“5 or 6 hours? Looked like your body needed some rest and since you had your father listed as an emergency contact, I had no choice but to keep myself here,” she smiled kindly.

Back in New York, she had Eleanor listed as her emergency contact, but recently, with a few changes that were made to her health insurance, she had forgotten to put her name on it.

She attempted to get up, already in a rush to go back home. Or to Holly’s home, to her room, but was pushed back by Dr. Pierce’s gentle hands.

“Calm down, I need you to stay here for observance for another hour or two, and was able to rush your results and I don’t want you passing out on me again, okay?”

Lydia nodded and Dr. Pierce took out an envelope from her lab coat and opened.

“You and your father share no DNA,” she said, and Lydia couldn’t help but frown, a strange feeling happening on the tip of her stomach, “my guess is that you weren’t aware of it?” Lydia shook her head in response. “You are still compatible if you wish to follow through with the surgery, but I understand that this is a lot to process. Do you have anyone who can help you do that?”

She had people, but no one that could understand how those news had sunk her heart to her stomach. Still, she nodded, unable to voice it out loud.

“I’m still gonna need you to get back to me by the end of the week, okay? Even though he is not your biological father you’re still his next of kin and quite possibly, the only one who can see him through this.”

Dr. Pierce spoke from an oblivious place. A place of someone who didn’t know what hell her childhood had been and how that man… that stranger, was responsible for screwing her up so badly, maybe beyond repair. She was speaking from the eyes of someone who maybe didn’t have a fractured relationship with her parents, or with her children. Those were the facts that made Lydia not reboot and press her lips together with a nod.

“Can you let me out? I’m good, I promise, I just don’t want to be here right now.”

“Sure, but you understand that you are leaving against medical orders, right?”

Another nod.

It still took a long time to get through bureaucracy and be released. She didn’t spend much time after she was, not really bothering a visit to her father’s room. If she could even call him that ever again. She knew she hadn’t processed that. Maybe it was an elaborate prank and she would be laughing about it later.

She walked impatiently through the doors until she was in the parking lot and took a deep breath, taking her phone from her pocket so she could call… who?

Eleanor had been clear that she didn’t like the man. She had a good family despite some strangeness that happened every now and then. Lydia wouldn’t know how to explain what she was feeling now.

Georgina was wise beyond her years, but this wasn’t something she could relate with. Not when her parents were magical and her siblings were tight. Besides, this was a part Lydia hadn’t fully disclosed for her yet, because if she was 100% honest, she hated that look in her face. That look that made Lydia aware that if Geo could carry all her burden she would. Sometimes it might have felt like, but she was not her mother, and the last thing Geo should be doing was wasting her time with someone like her.

Jack was a good friend, supportive and Lydia had thought about him in many less friendly ways recently, so he wasn’t someone she could just reach out about this.

Her friendship with Jasmine had just started to blossom again. They were just learning to be around each other again. There was no way she would cloud that with her darkness.

Teddy… no. It was better if he didn’t know she was so distasteful.

She returned her phone to her bag.

It felt like pieces were slowly falling inside her brain like a painful tetris game.

Her father was not her father.

Could she even call him father now? Should she?

All that pain, all the times he hurt her, everything she had endured thus far. A lie. A fucking lie. Why had her mother not taken her? Why had she left her in the care of a total stranger?

Did she even have a father? What if he was some dead beat? What if he was just dead?

For a million questions there were a million more and it was overwhelming, but no tears came. She felt like she could cry at any time, but nothing.

Lydia felt numb, stale, cold, empty.

Just a wave of nothingness sweeping through her in the middle of a parking lot.

But for every wave that crashed on shore, another one was already on the way.

Soon it would swallow her whole.

Right now Lydia was as unimportant as she felt. As hopeless as she felt. Still, her face was stoic, her breathing was normal again.

Maybe not feeling was the best thing she could ever hoped for, after all, with just a few words her world had been turned upside down.

Lydia turned her phone off. She didn’t want to be found. Not for now. Not for a while.

She started walking away, without really knowing where to go. It was hard to admit but it had been some time since she had been slipping away from people’s lives. meticulously. Carefully. Gently.

Maybe this was the final nail on the proverbial coffin.

Nobody was noticing but she was already gone.

#self para.#i dont even know how to tag this but im exhausted #its long ok #depression tw #physical abuse mention tw #abandonmnent tw #transplant mention tw #panic attack tw #trauma tw #✩ 〔 you’ve handled tragedy ; surely you can handle tenderness. 〕 ﹕ CHARACTER STUDY.

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serensama · 5 years ago

Text

To Release #1

Yoosung needs to let MC go.

Years ago, i had asked the amazing @promiscuous-jalapeno to write a HC for me when I was too scared to write my own and she did an amazing job- tore me right up it did. I asked her shortly thereafter if she minded if I tried to do it and she was kind enough to encourage me. Nearly 4 years and I’ve finally done it.

Trigger warnings: Character death, mentions of cancer.

This is for my friend, my sister- Susana. I don’t know how to let you go. But one day I will. And one day I will see you again. Rest well until then dear one.

This is for my baby, my puppy Meiko- run free my little one. I know you’ll be waiting for me too. Keep Susana company and keep her safe until we catch up, okay? Good Boy.

- Yoosung wasn’t an idiot, he knew she thought he was blind to what was happening- but you had to be completely void of brain activity to not notice it.

- At first there were small differences.

- The way she wore different clothes, or the way she wore her hair or even her makeup had changed.

- She was ‘tired’ all the time and stayed late at work.

- She even had mystery calls she would take away from him in another room, her voice fading in hushed tones as she made sure he would never hear a word she spoke.

- But it was too late, he already knew.

- All the signals were there and they were screaming at him even when she had never uttered a word to him.

- In the extra care she put in her appearance, in the way she would avoid his touch and affection and in the guilt she bore in her eyes as she would look his way whenever she thought he didn’t notice.

- He did notice. He always did.

- Yoosung was hurt that after all they had been through, that she would treat him that way- omission was a type of lie, a type of betrayal and he thought they had promised never to lie to each other… even over something like this.

- And yet… yet he was happy.

- Though he had to be secretive about it; he wasn’t an idiot after all. This was something he had wanted to happen for the longest time. He had never admitted it to MC, but he had wanted this since she walked down the aisle all those years ago.

- He wanted nothing more than for MC to pregnant.

- Yoosung chuckled to himself as he pretended not to hear his wife struggling in the bathroom with another bout of morning sickness. She had been trying so hard to make sure he never heard her, even going to the lengths of turning on the shower to mask any noise.

- Readjusting himself on the couch with his morning newspaper, he waited patiently for MC to eventually patter out. He couldn’t believe himself, right at the start of all things where he was half convinced that she was cheating on him. Who could blame him for thinking about it, even for a second? MC had this power of drawing people to her and making everyone feel special- how could he even blame this possible other person for falling in love with her? Hadn’t he? Hell, he was sure almost everyone in the RFA was at some point in love with her.

He had even spoken to Saeyoung about it and was rewarded with nothing but snorts and an index finger pointed at him in derision.

“As if she would e-hahahaa, s-sorry sorry, ever cheat on you man. For someone so clever you really are dumb,” he said to him through peals of laughter. “MC would rather die than do something like that you. Why would you even think that? Why would you be talking to me rather than her? Dude, use your head it’s something else.”

“What do you know that I don’t?”

“I don’t know anything like that. All I do know is that MC is my best friend- don’t look at me like that, you’re my best friend too- and she is not a cheater. She’s probably just trying something different. Shaking things up y’know? I dunno maybe she’s feeling like she wants to change her style, maybe someone was mean to her at work and she wants to put them in her place with her makeup or hair? Maybe she’s working late because there are new deadlines she has to do and she comes home exhausted because she is in fact, exhausted. Or who knows, maybe she’s pregnant!”

- He knew his friend had thrown that in for laughs or absurdity but it was anything but that for Yoosung. Maybe… maybe she was. All the signs were there. Wearing new clothes that were just that little bit bigger to hide her stomach, she looked amazing with her shorter hair and immaculate makeup, she didn’t want him to touch her that much and definitely not her stomach…of course.

- Of course she was pregnant.

- Cheating indeed. Maybe he was an idiot. MC would never do that to him.

- Yoosung heard the sound of a flush and MC washing her hands as she attempted to clear her throat as inconspicuously as she could. She came out looking a bit pale but nonetheless as beautiful as she had ever been, her eyes lighting up when they found him on sofa.

- “Morning honey,” she started, her voice raspy with the strain her throat was recently put under. He smiled up to her, silently praying today would be the day she would end this months’ long charade. “Did you already have breakfast? I can make something up for you if you’d like?”

“Won’t you be joining me?” he replied, folding his paper up and setting it aside, large blue eyes observing her every minute movement and expression. He watched as MC paused for a moment, her mind visibly racing for a quick reason to give him for her loss of appetite. “I mean- isn’t breakfast the most important meal of the day?”

“O-of course! I’m not really hungry though so maybe I’ll make myself some toast or maybe have a cup of coffee-”

“Is that really going to be enough?”

“What do you mean? I just told you I wasn’t very hungry-”

“Is that enough for the both of you?”

- MC’s already pale face drained of all colour.

- “What… Yoosung you’re not making sense.”

- He stood up and walked towards his frozen wife and massaged his hands up and down her arms in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. “It’s okay MC, you don’t need to keep this up. I know. I know what you’ve been keeping from me.”

- MC took a step back and took in a shuddering breath, her hand reaching of a nearby dining chair to steady her. Yoosung held onto her as her eyes widened and her whole body trembled, before completely slumping down onto the ground. He panicked as he quickly fell to his knees and quickly looked over his wife to see if she had injured herself, asking her if she was alright, if she was in any pain, what was happening-

“How did you find out?” she asked, her eyes looking forward, still and steadfast. Her hands clasped around the chair’s leg, knuckles white and flesh still shaking.

- Yoosung let his palm glide over her silken hair and smiled kindly at her, waiting patiently for her to shift her attention to him. Slowly her eyes turned to him, round and glassy, irises almost pinpricks. “I’m not blind love.”

- And then she cried.

- Tears welled up along the rims of her eyes, sweeping down her cheeks and dripping off her chin. Soon her silence turned to a quiet weeping, Yoosung’s concern rising with her cries. Her haggard breathing turned to wails and in a blink of an eye her fingers were in the front of her t-shirt, twisted and pulling away from her chest- a wild look of desperation etched across her face. She began to rock back and forth ever so slightly as she too took rough and heaving breaths, MC could not hear a thing he was saying to her. Screaming at her. Pleading with her.

- “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so.. I’m so so so sorry,” she chanted in between sobs, her hands finding purchase upon his forearms, nails biting crescent shaped lines into his skin. He let her leave the marks upon him as he did his best to calm her down from her frantic state. “It’s okay, MC it’s okay. Don’t work yourself up over this. Really it’s fine, I’m just glad that I know now- we can do this together right?” he asked in the most reassuring manner that he could. He hadn’t meant to guilt her into telling him or make her feel bad at all- he just wanted to be a part of it. MC shook her head and fisted her hands in his hair almost painfully as she peered up at him, his heart constricting tighter than he expected at her expression. This was meant to be a happy time, he wanted to be laughing and hugging not… not this… “I’m so sorry I didn’t… I didn’t tell you. I had wanted to do this on my own, until I was 100% sure-”

“We can go to the doctor and do the test-” “I’ve already done all the tests, I’m know already-” “Then you just wanted to pass the three month mark?”

“The what?” she asked, confusion crossing over her features for a second as she digested what he had just said. “The what? The three month what?”

“The first trimester. I know a lot of women don’t want to say anything until it passes in fear of the worst but… why are you looking at me like that?” he paused, staring back at his wife.

- She had stopped crying. Stopped panicking. Stopped breathing. The strength in her digits all lost as her hands fell away to a dull thud on their carpeted floor beside them. “Yoosung. I’m not pregnant.” He sat back on his haunches and took a breath, just a moment to collect himself and his wayward thoughts. So if she wasn’t pregnant… “Then what, you’re cheating on me?” “W-what?” “If you’re not pregnant and you’re waiting for test results, what for? An STD test? Answer me. What the hell is happening here that you’re not telling me? I deserve to know!”

“I-”

“Tell me MC!” he begged, lunging forward and holding her against him, arms wrapped tightly around her smaller frame to comfort her and release whatever she was withholding from him. He wasn’t lying, he wanted to be in it together with her, whatever it was.

- “I’m sick, Yoosung.”

- He felt the air seep from his lungs as those three words echoed throughout the room and within the chambers of his heart.

- “What do you mean? Like the flu?” he offered after what felt like an eternity of silence between them. Nothing. “MC Please tell me.” “… Cancer.”

- He was sure the way his arms constricted around her was enough to break her bones but not a sound came from her and he just wanted to hold onto her as tightly as he could, maybe if he held her long enough and hard enough- none of what she said would be true. “But.. but the secrecy… the clothes and hair and… staying late a work… the secret calls? I just… I’m sorry I just don’t understand and-”

- A small hand cupped the side of his face, her thumb tracing the softness of his cheek. MC lightly pressed on his jaw to tilt his face down to her and she offered the meekest of smiles, not an ounce of mirth to be found in the quirk of her mouth. “I wasn’t feeling well for a while so I went to the doctor a few months ago. After a few tests they found it…” she replied, her fingertips playing at the hair about his ears. “They told me that it was a good prognosis. That with some meds I would be fine, we caught it early enough. The meds left me tired and made me put on weight around my middle- I didn’t want you to touch me and ask me about it because I didn’t want you to worry. I’ve been wearing looser clothes to hide it, wearing more makeup because I’ve looked like shit… my hair started to thin so I cut it so it looked fuller so you couldn’t notice… all those times I stayed late at work I was seeing my oncologist and those phone calls was him… and I… I’m so so sorry Yoosung.”

- Oncologist. It was real. Everything she was saying was real and she wasn’t pregnant. She wasn’t cheating. She was fighting for her life and she was doing it all alone and she was apologising to him. Of all the ludicrous things to do.

- “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, voice tinged with pain as he tried his best not to cry, he wouldn’t cry, not yet. MC shifted in his arms and sat back forcing herself to look him in the eye now that everything was out in the open. “Because I didn’t want to scare you, I thought I was strong enough to get through this without worrying you. They told me it was okay,” she responded pathetically with a shrug of her shoulders. “I thought it was okay. I thought I was going to be okay,” she whispered into her chest, her eyes fluttering closed as she took in another shaky breath.

- This was too much. Everything she had said up to that point was teetering on the edge of ‘okay’… not that though.

“What do you mean… was?” “MC.” “What do you… answer me, don’t hold back now, why is it was?”

He looked on as she squeezed her eyes shut, pinching the bridge of her nose to will the tears to not come back. Her hand was still shaking. “He called again last night. I… it’s not good. It’s spread. It’s… I’m… there’s nothing they can-”

“No.”

“Yoosung-” “No.” “Please-” “No! NO! You do not get to finish that sentence. You will not finish that sentence. There is always something, we will find something. Saeyoung might be able to help research… maybe Jumin has a client with some experimental drugs or… don’t look at me like that!”

“Like what?” “Like you’re okay with this!” he yelled as he stood up and started pacing the room. Suddenly he had too much energy, too many thoughts and he could scarcely keep up.

“I’m not okay with this Yoosung,” she said, eyes sad, body shrinking into herself, blocking him again. “That’s why I was fighting this so hard.”

“Stop saying that.”

“What?”

“Was. Stop saying was. We’re not done yet. You’re not gone. Stop saying it.”

- MC opened her mouth to response but thought better of it. It wasn’t fair of her to ask him to accept it all at once not when he had to find out that way, so late… near the end of all things. “Okay. I’ll stop saying it.”

- Yoosung nodded and sat back down, scooping her back into his arms and rested his cheek against the top of her head and just breathed in her scent. They sat there for hours as she recounted everything, letting her finally cry as she let him back in, together once more and trying to make a plan of what was to come; even when Yoosung could tell she was just agreeing to whatever he said to keep him from breaking down… he just held her tighter.

- She had fallen asleep sitting on his lap, face buried in the side of his neck with his fingers running through her hair. Yoosung bit on his lip to silence his grunts of discomfort as he moved them both off the floor and onto the bed. She murmured in her sleep, dreaming soundly as she always did but he found no rest, no comfort. He counted each breath she took in and tried to find solace in every rise of her chest.

- “Keep your pants on, I’m coming,” Saeyoung said with a long yawn. He dawdled towards his camera monitors to see if it was Saeran pounding at the front door because he had forgotten his keys for the third time that week, but after seeing a familiar brush of blonde hair instead bracing himself against his front door frame, he picked up his pace. Yoosung was always one to call before popping in and for him to come there with no prior warning and so late in the night, he knew something wasn’t right. He opened the door and was about to crack some smart ass comment when the sounds of a pained groan made him pause. Arms were thrown around him as the younger male threw himself at him, his smaller form convulsing, racked with deep gut wrenching gasps. He didn’t even need to ask. It was about MC, it always was. “She’s- she’s… I can’t lose her Hyung, not yet. I can’t.”

- When MC woke her husband had a tray of food in his hands and what looked like a freshly picked vase of flowers to accompany her meal. He wasn’t ready for what was thrown his way yesterday but some greater power allowed him to have another day with her and he was going to make sure each second meant something; to either give her the strength to fight for more moments or gift her with memories she could have to depart with a smile on her face. He would give her this. He would give them this.

- Yoosung rapidly understood why she had not told him in the past, why she had shouldered this all on her own. Sitting in the doctor’s office was jarring; it was cold and sterile no matter how many personal touches he had added to the room, it was still felt like a chamber of death. Dramatic? Maybe, but with the words that fell from his thin, pale lips he may as well have been carrying a scythe and hourglass. “I’m so sorry, I wish there was more we could do but at this stage the prognosis is the same. You may only have the next 6-8 months to live.”

- The drive home was a blur, how he managed to get them back was a miracle as he didn’t even remember starting the car. All thought left him the second her fingers intertwined with his and she gave him a smile.

- He lay in the bed that night, MC quietly snoring, her limbs thrown haphazardly onto him- her lips moving as if she spoke to someone in her dream. She gave a quick snort and another smile spread across her face.

- How many more of these smiles will I have. How many more until it’s her last?

- She grew weaker, quickly, frighteningly so. Her symptoms so severe he would find her clinging to the toilet for support, tears flowing from her eyes and hair plastered to her sweat slicked forehead. Eating was a struggle. She even muttered that blinking hurt in her sleep.

- Still, she smiled, she smiled for him.

- Her resilience, her heart, her ability to still shield him from the worst- he couldn’t believe her fortitude and mental strength, her absolute undying love for him.

- So he did what he could for her, he would always smile back.

- Even if it broke him.

- Seven months and 8 days since they sat in the doctor’s office together, he came back from the market with all her favourite foods. It was so hard to get her to eat lately, only the most enticing of food would get her to open up her mouth for a bite or two. He would never complain though, he loved to make her food even if almost all of it couldn’t be eaten. He was happy just to be able to take care of her. How many more meals were left to share?

- He had moved towards their bedroom when he heard MC’s voice, still sweet as ever but softer and coloured with such fragility that sometimes even her saying good morning to him was enough for him to have to turn away from her for a second to recollect himself for her.

- Yoosung stopped, his hand on the door handle, not wanting to intrude if MC was on a call. She had been on quite a few recently- she hadn’t wanted to see her friends anymore, she hadn’t the energy to even try. He strained his ears to listen in to see who she was speaking to; she spoke a lot of Saeyoung of course but Jaehee had called more often and even Jumin would call her late at night when he knew she was up because she was in so much pain she couldn’t sleep. However there was no voice replying to her, only hers. Perhaps she was dreaming?

- Yoosung slowly eased the door open and peered through the slight crack to find his wife sitting up on the bed with her phone on a tripod in front of her. She was recording herself- “- and I can never thank you enough for everything Yoosung.”

Recording herself for him. Recording her goodbye.

“I am still trying to forgive myself for not telling you sooner and I hope one day you will understand why I did what I did, as misguided as it was. I wanted to spare you the pain if I could. The worry. Maybe I was just scared and if I told you it would make it real. Pills and feeling sick didn’t make it real. Your fear and your tears… that… that made it real. I’m sorry. I know you’ll be looked after, everyone in the RFA has promised me they would. Jaehee said she’d come and look after the plants. Zen said he’d make sure that you’d stay healthy. Saeyoung and Saeran promised that you’d have some fun once in a while and Jumin and V would help you with the clinic and anything else you need. You are not alone my love, even if I’m… when I’m gone… you are not alone.”

She paused as she had lost her breath and her body shook with fatigue as she tried her best to regain herself. “I will always be with you and I want you to be happy you got that? I always want you to be happy. Let me leave this life knowing that I left you happy.”

- He opened the door fully and MC whipped her head towards her husband, shock fading away as she flashed him a soft smile that reached her eyes, twinkling with unshed tears.

- One more meal. Twenty three more smiles. And one more from him.

- And she left.

- With one last smile he could not return.

- In time he knew he would be able to watch that video. In time he knew that he could smile again, but for now, he held her tighter and let himself finally, truly, cry.

#mystic messenger #mysme fanfic #yoosung kim #yoosung x mc #angst #mysme headcanon

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