#being clumsy is hardly a crime

[viric-dreams]

A quick little thing set off by all the dancing going around that got away from me. Lt Roberts absolutely loves to dance. It's one of those few times that he's able to let loose and blow off some energy, and one of the few times he can acceptably be physically close to people. In earlier days, before many of the promotions and before his dreaded reputation had fully set in, he'd loved going for a spin on the deck on a festive evening. This had largely tapered off over the years.

I'm not sure under what circumstances Nite rediscovered this skill, but the morning after was one of the few in which Roberts woke up still exhausted, but for once feeling better.

[innerfare]

Random Sabo Headcanons

Summary: A collection of random Sabo headcanons

Genre: Fluff

CW: None // SFW

———

Never really gave up on his dream of writing a book about his adventures. He keeps a journal and wants to assemble it all into a manuscript, but he has a lot of self doubt regarding his abilities as a writer. A lot of his journal entries are reflecting on the inequality, injustice, and even outright war crimes he has witnessed the World Government commit. When he publishes it, it will 100% be banned by the Government. Also wants to publish some comics based on his childhood with Luffy and Ace, actually has a knack for it. 

Has a few habits from his aristocratic upbringing that not even his time in the woods with Ace and Luffy broke him of. He holds his teacup and eating utensils a certain way, he makes at least some effort to adhere to dress codes, etcetera. Most of these habits are in regards to women, whom he treats with the utmost respect; very chivalrous. 

That being said, he definitely keeps a switchblade in his boot. He’s a very dirty fighter, won’t hesitate to pull it. 

Also cheats at monopoly. And nobody ever suspects him because he benefits from pretty privilege.

Has argued with Koala until his voice is hoarse that dragon claw is way better than fishman karate. Could also write an entire book on the merits of fighting with a lead pipe over any sort of fancy sword or spear. Also used to talk serious smack about devil fruit users before he ate his fruit, expects every devil fruit user in the Revolutionary Army to disregard his previous taunts after the fact.

Secretly such a cuddle bug, craves the affection he never received in his childhood. Except it’s not really a secret because he once fell asleep in a meeting and woke up to everyone laughing at him because he snuggled into Dragon’s side.

A pretty good cook, but weirdly enough, can only make a meal in the wilderness. If it’s over a campfire, he’s a chef, but he always causes some sort of accident when he tries to recreate these dishes in an actual kitchen. Credit a childhood in the woods for this one.

Can be a little clumsy, can’t really be trusted around breakable valuables. Makes it all the more insane how agile he is during a fight.

His scars aren’t just on his face. He has them on his body and hands, too, even down to his ankles, and he doesn’t actually like showing them off (thus the reason he’s basically the only character in this universe who is fully clothed) because they symbolize his traumatic past/leaving Ace and Luffy, which feeds into him blaming himself for Ace’s death. Actually spent a fortune on scar creams in an effort to make the scars fade but none of them worked. Is trying to make peace with that part of his appearance.

Has a skincare routine. Nothing fancy, but he exfoliates and applies moisturizer to his face, and he has a special hand cream. Also always has chapstick on, and he carries it around with him. Has multiple extras scattered around. It has a slight pink tint to it that he pretends not to notice. He makes kissy lips at Koala if she tries to tease him about it. Low key the sort of guy to go through your purse in search of hand cream or concealer.

Speaking of, it’s pretty much impossible to tease him/get under his skin. He takes everything in stride, hardly ever gets pouty. He’s also the only person in the Revolutionary Army who is brave enough to tease Dragon and even argue with him, which is one of the reasons he became Dragon’s second in command. 

Doesn’t do anything special to his hair. It falls like that naturally. Could literally wash his hair with a bar of soap and it still dries as though he had it blown out by a professional.

He doesn’t know how to read palms, but he pretends he does to flirt with people. He’ll make things up about the lines in their palms, using it as an excuse to initiate skin to skin contact. He’s a shameless flirt. Members of the Revolutionary Army often joke about their Chief of Staff being a honeypot. Some Army communications about the matter were even intercepted, and the World Government, not knowing the RA was joking around, actually has it in their file on the Chief of Staff that he will use seduction to get what he wants. When an RA spy find this out and fed it back to the Army, the entire base keeled over in laughter, Sabo included.

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[that-irrelevant-ricecakeaddict]

SIC PARVIS MAGNA Pt.1: "Streets"

DC Birds of Prey x ATEEZ

an AU by @that-irrelevant-ricecakeaddict & @seventhcallisto

Masterlist & Character profiles

Heavy edm booms throughout the night club, barely heard over screams of distress, punches landing and the shattering of glass bottles. You winced in pain as you nursed the bruise on your knee, a souvenir of your clumsy attempt to get to the bar counter that you were now crouched underneath. You tugged off your heels, knowing that they would likely cause more trouble for you than protection from whatever miscellaneous trash was littered throughout the checkered nightclub floor. The mahogany counter you were leaned up against suddenly shook with a loud ‘thud’, causing you to jump backwards in your hiding spot. Cautiously getting on your knees, you peeked over the counter top, in hopes of at least locating your friends. The scene before your eyes was chaos, a blur of fists and bright disco ball lights flashing inconsistently, doing little to help your eyes navigate the already dimly-lit room. Looks like you were gonna be there for a while. 

Your thoughts were interrupted when a large black figure was thrown over the counter and against the wine cabinet behind it. Glass shattered everywhere, prompting you to gasp out loud and shield your face from any flying shards. The figure slammed to the ground, and awkwardly rolled under the counter next to you. A sigh of relief escaped your chest when you realized it wasn't one of the tattooed thugs that had come barrelling through the club's entrance earlier on. It was a man with flaming, yellow-streaked orange hair, dressed in long drapes of dark fabric. His lowered face was obscured partially by a black cowl with pointed tips. As he tried to push himself up, he shook violently and doubled over even more, evidently reacting to a painful injury. You instinctively reached out to try to help, but he didn't notice you, instead ripping off his bat-shaped cowl and disorientedly raising his head. 

Oh my god.

Nothing could have prepared you to see the face behind the mask. 

One day earlier…

“Hand over what's in the cash register, and no one gets hurt!!” 

Shit. Not again.

Turning around in your spot from behind the cashier, you came face to face with the poorly-dressed man who had entered the store just a few minutes ago. His bloodshot eyes raked your raised hands as he brandished his scratched-up pistol at you. 

Fuck, I knew he seemed off when he walked in.

You mentally cursed yourself for not refusing service to him the moment your gut feeling had kicked in. Now you were stuck behind the cashier of the convenience store, having to choose between forking over the little money in the register and being shot at the scum standing in front of you. Not that this was new to you. In fact, having lived in the crime-ridden city of Seoultham for long enough, you're rather desensitized to being robbed. It just sucked that it had to happen when you were working your shift at the local 7-11. For the 3rd time in a week. When your rent was due in a few days.

Despite the familiar anxiety that overtook you whenever you were looking down the barrel of a shooter's gun, you managed to reach into the beat-up register to grab the few dollar notes, while hardly breaking a sweat. You stared longingly at the crumpled notes as you handed them over to the thief. 

Guess I'm not getting paid this week. Whatever… I'll just ask Taehyun-oppa to send some money early. 

A cry of dissatisfaction broke your thoughts, bringing you back to reality. The thief had counted the money, and he looked nothing but happy. 

“What the fuck is this?! There's barely enough money ‘ere to rent a whore!”

“That's all there is, man, I swear…”

“Yer lyin’! Scoot over and lemme see the register, or I'll shoot!!”

“Dude, it's 11am on a weekend- This place hardly gets any business in the morning! You got some money anyways, so just get out!” 

You eventually gave in (persuaded more by the gun than the obviously uneducated fellow that wielded it), moving aside to let him rummage through the register. He gave a huff of displeasure at the empty metal drawer, before making his way out of the automatic doors. You let out a sigh of relief.

Fucking finally.

☆☆☆

A visit from the patrolling policeman, a couple texts to your boss, and a few hours later, you walk past the next shift's staff and out of the store. Relief washed over you as you walked the familiar path home. 

What a day.

Pulling out your phone, you turned off the Do Not Disturb setting, and was immediately met with the buzz of groupchat messages. The notification bar was flooded with texts from your girl friends. You couldn't help but smile a little at the most recent ones. 

Nayeonnie 🐰: KANG Y/N AND YOO JEONGYEONNNN

Nayeonnie 🐰: Answer ur phones RN. 

Nayeonnie 🐰: omg don't leave me hANGING 😭😭😭😭😭😭

The moment you clicked the notification and opened up the group chat, Nayeon’s contact number popped up on screen, causing you to nearly drop your phone. You quickly stuffed your coat into your tote bag so that you'd have a free hand to answer. 

“Hello? Nayeon?”

“Y/N you're alive!!!”

“I was at work, dude, my phone was on silent mode.”

“Aww you can't even look at your texts while manning the counter?”

“I would if I could, trust me. Anyways, I would've been screwed today if my phone was buzzing with notifications during work.”

“Whaddya mea- Ohhhh shit, did the store get robbed again?!” 

“Why do you sound so surprised?” You murmured, Nayeon sighing out loud on the other end of the line. 

“You really gotta find a safer place to stay. Jeongie and I's door is always open for you. I gotta go now, but I'll text you about this new club I wanted to check out later!!”

She ended the call, and you stuffed your phone inside your pocket, looking up as you turned round a corner. The sight of a dilapidated 4 storey building up ahead greeted you. Home sweet home. 

Halazia Apartments was dead as usual. The apartment complex is still standing on bare concrete and broken foundation, which you doubted you'd come home to because of said things, but with it still standing everyday you were pleasantly surprised that it wasn't rubble and dust. Maybe you're not giving the place enough credit. As you take your steps up the entrance stairs a familiar shadow is on the other side of the door, pushing out. 

“Oh hey,” Your sweet old land lady's only daughter, Chungha, greets you, phone in one hand and her thick brown braid twirled around the other. Despite being older by a fair amount, she looked effortlessly gorgeous yet laid-back (as usual) in her pastel tracksuit. A stark contrast to your windblown hair and wrinkled tee that still had a few glass pieces from the earlier break-in. What wasn't usual, was the stranger standing next to her; a tall, thin man with faded red hair. Something about him made him almost fade into the background, you didn't even notice him at first. His pale skin had a slight tinge of green to it, and his eyes looked like bottomless pits. Not creepy, but more mysterious.

Is that her new boyfriend? 

Your eyes flicker between the two for a moment, internally deciding not to question one of your very few friends. This doesn't go unnoticed by the cute stranger. His figure shrinks a little and he moves closer to Chungha, his big frames almost sliding down his hooked nose. She doesn't react, as if she was used to it, and instead spoke to you again. “If you happen to see that Song guy, let him know the elevator is getting maintenance and he shouldn't try to use it. Don't want a lawsuit." Chungha crosses her fingers and clicks her tongue, as if the problem isn't as serious as it is. Considering you'll have to walk up the many flights of stairs. Fuck, could it get any worse? “Yea sure,” you nod and slip past the tall man (who's still clinging onto her). 

“Thanks, sweetie. Hwa, c’Mon, let's go,” Chungha hums a word of appreciation as she tugs on the man’s baggy sleeve. He was quick to react, eagerly following her out of the building. You could hear her infectious chuckles outside as you started to walk towards the staircase. Shaking your head, you push the mystery man out of your thoughts and headed to the row of mailboxes next to the staircase. 

Multi-colored graffiti decorated the once-blank walls that surrounded the mailboxes. Not that you minded. It gave a somewhat lively feel to the still and dead air of the place. You reached for your assigned mailbox that was labeled ‘#03-01’, only  half of the ‘3’ was scratched off. 

Inserting and turning your key, a grumble escaped your throat when you realized that the mailman had mixed up your mail for the nth time. The heavy envelopes inside were all addressed to ‘Song Mingi’, aka your infuriatingly absent neighbor that lived a level below you. 

Whatever, I had to go tell him about the elevator anyway. If he's even home this time.

Jogging up the stairs to the 2nd level, you crossed over to the first door in the pin-drop silent hallway and knocked, expecting to be met with even more silence . To your surprise, there was a ‘click’ followed by the door squeaking open. Your giant of a neighbor stood in front of you, looking like a lost puppy. He scratched his flaming yellow-and-orange hair, muttering, “Can I…help you, Kang?” 

Honestly, you were taken aback for a moment. It was the first time you'd seen him up close before, heck it was one of the first times you'd ever personally seen him at the apartment. He lived there, but rarely left his unit from what Chungha told you. You didn't see or hear much of him, besides clunking of machinery, aggressive clacking of keyboards that you could hear through the thin floors, or occasional loud conversations between him and the friends he had over. You couldn't help but let your eyes rake over his sharp features for a moment, before snapping yourself out of it and showing him the stack of yellow envelopes addressed to him.

“Our mail got mixed up…again.”

“Oh shit, ‘m really sorry you had to go through the trouble-”

“It's fine. At least you're here for once to actually receive your shit. I wouldn't wanna leave it outside your unit again like some threat from a loan shark. By the way, uh…the elevator’s down again. Chungha said to use the stairs for now.” 

Mingi offered you a crooked smile and took in his mail, nodding and mumbling a low “thanks” before clumsily re-entering his apartment. 

Well. That was awkward. 

And this leads you to where you are now. 

Caught in the midst of an intense nightclub fight, crouched beneath the bar counter with increasingly sore legs, and face-to-face with that exact same downstairs neighbor; holding a cowl in his hands, looking absolutely petrified as he stared right back at you.

The two of you gawked at each other like goldfish, the loud music and fighting nothing but white noise in that moment. 

Just as Mingi was about to speak up, there was a shrill cackle coming from the front of the bar.

“Batsy!!! Where ya at??? The cops are coming, we gotta bounce, you fucking beanstalk!!” 

You could hear a deranged man speaking and punctuating his words with punches and crashes of bar stools. 

Mingi's eyes lit up at the sound of his companion's voice and he quickly shoved his cowl back on, tugging up a baggy hood over his striking mop of hair for extra measure. He caught your gaze, offering a “please pretend you didn't see anything” look back in return. And in the blink of an eye, he was gone. 

Soon enough, the rowdy bar fight was broken up by the cops. Police sirens and yells of “Freeze!” rang throughout the room, prompting both innocent bystanders and troublemakers alike to attempt to flee. You stayed exactly where you were, too shocked by the revelation that you'd just made. 

What the hell was Mingi doing here? Is he a vigilante? Why'd it have to be him to run into, out of all people? 

It wasn't long before a police officer found you huddled under the counter. He'd asked for your name, but took your silence as a sign of shock from the night's events. As you were being escorted out of the club, you could hear groups of police officers discussing in hushed tones as they tried to round up as many thugs as they could. Amongst these officers, you spotted Officer Seo, your elder brother’s friend. Curiosity overcame you and you broke free from the officer's hold to clumsily hobble over.

“Changbin oppa!”

The beefy policeman whipped around at the sound of your voice, and caught you just in time before you tripped. “Y/N! You were caught in the fight??” “N-no, I mean yeah, but I was hiding behind the counter most of the time…” Officer Seo heaved a sigh of relief at your response, muttering, “Taehyun would've killed me if you got seriously hurt.” You couldn't help but smile as Officer Seo waved off the officer who had been escorting you out. He'd always looked out for you, ever since he got to know you and your elder brother through a mutual friend, Yeonjun. “You were here with your friends?” “Yeah, only I don't know where they are…I lost them in the crowd ‘cause I was on my way to the toilet when the fight started. And I left my phone with one of them, so I can't exactly make a call.” You ranted. The reality of your situation was sinking in. The man sighed in exasperation this time, sweeping off a few shards of glass that were stuck in your hair. “Give me their names and a description. I'll get my colleagues to find them. We're holding witnesses outside for questioning, I'm sure they're there.” Officer Seo chuckled at the relieved look on your face. 

“Do you know what happened, Changbin?”

He scratched his head at your question, evidently irritated at the mess surrounding him. “Yeah, buncha thugs came in to stir shit with the club owners. Witnesses say the Birds of Prey had arrived and were tryna take out the troublemakers, but they clearly,” he waved a hand at the ruined bar, splintered chairs, and smashed disco ball before adding on, “left behind a huge mess for us to clean up. As usual.” 

Officer Seo continued to ramble as you gathered your thoughts on everything that had happened. Birds of Prey? Seoultham’s infamous group of vigilantes that would disappear as mysteriously as they came? You chewed your lip and you couldn't help but ponder.

Is Mingi part of them? 

After the nightclub had been cleared out, Jeongyeon and Nayeon had came running, nearly suffocating you with their tight hugs and cries of “Thank fuck you're okay!!” (Jeongyeon was crying). Officer Seo had personally driven the 3 of you back to your respective apartments; Jeongyeon and Nayeon to their shared unit in another part of the city, and you to Halazia Apartments. By the time you got home, it was almost 2am, and you'd quickly gotten ready for bed, exhausted from the night. Right as you were dozing off, you swore you could hear some commotion from Mingi's unit on the floor below…

The next morning, you were still deep in thought. Even as you were making your way to school. Before leaving the building, you'd considered going to Mingi's unit to interrogate him, but decided against it after the complete silence at his level. Normally, in the mornings, you'd hear some sort of heavy machinery operating. God knows what that computer science student, and apparent vigilante, was doing. 

As you turned the corner to walk out of Felony Alley, a man with red-streaked black hair practically threw himself at you. “Y/nnie!!!” The two of you fell to the ground with a thud. Hearing the familiar voice, you immediately relaxed. It was just San, the sweet and bubbly (and very affectionate) mechanic from the nearby bike shop. He snuggled into you as you struggled to get up. “Hey- good morning to you too, San…Can you get off me?” Once you two were up, he hooked a muscly arm around yours while you walked along the sidewalk, eventually leading you to the small shophouse that he lived and worked at with Yunho, who was crouched over a red motorbike at the entrance. “Good morning, Yunho,” you greeted him as usual. Limitless Mechanics was located almost right outside Felony Alley, meaning that you'd pass by it everyday while leaving for college. Over the years, you'd befriended the two mechanics that worked there, and you and your busted-up bike became regular customers. 

Upon hearing his name, the lanky man leisurely turned in your direction. But his face dropped for a second when he realized it was you. “Oh. Good morning.” A wave of uncertainty washed over you at this. Yunho wasn't as physically affectionate and bubbly as his business partner, but he always greeted you with a warm smile. A warm smile that was nowhere to be seen at that moment. You bit your lip out of anxiety, wondering if you'd done something wrong. San seemed to notice, and he quickly started talking to bring focus away from the weird tension. But even he sounded nervous about something.

“So, Y/n! I heard that you were caught at Arriba's bar fight last night…did you- see anything out of the norm?”

“Uhm…” 

An image of Mingi's stunned pikachu face flashed through your mind.

“...as unusual as a bar fight gets, I guess.”

“Ah, I see…glad you're safe.”

The air went stagnant between the 3 of you. Between Yunho's unusually stoic demeanor and San's fidgety yapping, it was nothing but awkward.

Fuck, how many times have I been put on the spot these past few days? It's getting ridiculous. 

“Well, I'll uh…be making my way to college now. See you guys…”

San opened his mouth, presumably to say goodbye, but a look from Yunho made him opt for a wave instead. You turned and walked away as fast as your battered sneakers let you, feeling Yunho's piercing gaze stabbing daggers at you from behind. 

Talk about uncomfortable…

Thankfully  your mood had lifted a little once you reached the college campus . Meeting with Jeongyeon and Nayeon for a light breakfast at the campus’ cafe took things off your mind a bit before you could head for your lecture. The two girls had avoided discussing the previous night's events, likely still shocked at what had transpired. Not that you minded. You'd had enough of weird happenings and situations for the day. Or so you thought, when you ended your lecture on DNA analysis and started heading for the biology lab. 

Since you only had one lecture on your schedule, you'd opted to go help out at the biology lab as the professor's assistant, as usual. A side gig to earn some extra pocket money. You walked into the small storage room connected to the lab, stretching slightly as you put down your bag in a chair, grabbing one of the lab coats that was hanging from the clothing rack next to the door. The biology professor hadn't briefed you on what lecture he was carrying out for the day, so you'd have to wait. A clammy hand suddenly reached out and touched your shoulder.

“AH WHAT THE FUCK-”

You jumped forward, screaming out in surprise at the same time. Whipping around, you came face-to-face with a man that you hadn't even noticed when you'd entered the room. It took a moment for you to realize that it was the same guy that was leaving Halazia Apartments with Chungha just yesterday. He was wearing a baggy brown plaid vest, and a few pins in his faded red hair to hold stray strands in place. His eyes were wide, clearly more scared than you were. “I-I'm sorry…you were standing in front of the test tube cabinet, and I need to get to it…” 

You quickly moved out of the way, muttering an apology as you watched him gingerly open the wood cabinet. Were his hands shaking? Now that you saw him up close, he seemed rather timid and soft-spoken. His bony hands didn't have much color on them. 

“Sorry, I didn't get your name…” “O-oh. That was rude of me. I'm Park Seonghwa…” “Well, nice to meet you, I’m-” “Kang Y/n. Halazia Apartments level 3, right?”

He blurted out suddenly, taking you by surprise yet again. A few cogs seemed to turn in his head at your reaction, and he quickly started stuttering.

“C-Chungha told me! I'm friends with her, and I ran into you yesterday, r-right? She told me you were one of her mom's tenants at Halazia…” “Ah, don't worry, man, I didn't think you were like a stalker or something.” 

Seonghwa looked visibly relieved at your response. Your eyes traced over the test tubes that he was now clutching tightly. “So why're you here?” “Uhm, I got a job as a lab assistant here…” “Really? Same here. I've been working as Professor Li's assistant for some time now. Guess we're colleagues now!” Your attempt to sound chirpy went unnoticed by your new associate. He was just as nervous and fidgety as the day before. Clearly, it wasn't gonna be easy to get to know each other. “Are you Chungha's new boyfriend? Your two seemed,” the memory of him clinging desperately to the older woman flashed through your mind,”...close.” Seonghwa looked uncomfortable at your question, and his figure shrank even more. It reminded you of a plant wilting. 

The room went silent for a moment before he spoke up again. “Professor Li said…you don't need to be here today. He told me to inform you if y-you came around… I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier.” You let out a breath that you didn't even know you were holding. Deep down, you felt alleviated that you didn't have to spend 2 hours working with such an introverted, withheld colleague. Not after the chaos and rapid fire of uncomfortable situations that had ensued in the last 48 hours. It was draining. You shook away those thoughts as you hightailed it out of the college building. You sent a quick text to Jeongyeon and Nayeon that you were going to miss out on your usual lunch, noticing a new text notification. 

Tae oppa (personal atm💵): dongsaeng-ah

tae oppa (personal atm💵): come down to the museum

tae oppa (personal atm💵): I'm in the city for a bit so hurry up or you'll miss me 🙄

Perfect timing on his part. Taehyun, your one and only elder brother, messages just as you're heading home. With a quick-witted response back (A thumbs up emoji) you're on your way to see him. The museum, that he would go to whenever he was in town, was thankfully nearby your apartment. God, you haven’t seen him in a while. You should probably thank him for covering your rent this month. Like he has for the past couple of months… yeah. An in-person thank you was long overdue.

The doors rattle as you push forward into the Visage of History Museum, aged over time. And in the center, after a few steps in, you notice the familiar jet black hair of Wooyoung talking to Yeonjun. Yeonjun was yours and your brother's childhood friend, as well as his current business partner, so Yeonjun would be around whenever your brother came to visit. Wooyoung, on the other hand, worked at Seoultham’s museum, which was a business partner of Taehyun and Yeonjun. “Oh! Y/n!” Yeonjun flashes his signature smile, and during that split second after your name was called, Wooyoung's head whips your way. “Hey Yeonjun oppa, hi Wooyoung..” you toss your head in acknowledgement, glancing at Wooyoung. His stare - unlike his usual playful one, is wide and clouded in an emotion you can't quite tell. You flinched slightly at the suddenly defensive look in his eyes.

Seriously, what is up with everyone today?

The awkwardness of the unnerving stare makes your eyes flicker back to Yeonjun. “Where's Taehyun oppa?” You mumble, rounding the counter to meet them on the employees only side. Yeonjun clicks his tongue but doesn't mention it. “Wow, only a hey? Not even a hug or anything?” Yeonjun pouts. And unlike usual, Wooyoung doesn't interrupt his friend, only observes with his arms crossed over his chest. Your eye twitches in worry, but instead of mentioning it, you pull Yeonjun into a side hug to shut his whining up for the moment. For a second he’s tamed, and just as he goes to speak once more, Taehyun is rounding the corner to one of the art exhibits. You quickly turn, hoping to briefly step away from Wooyoung’s stony stare.

“Here's the man of the hour,” Yeonjun gestures, patting your back heavily - an irritating thing he's done since you were young. Your older brother's eyes meet the edge of the counter before settling on you, a satisfied grin spreading over his cheeks. “Oppa” you yell while waving enthusiastically, and Taehyun grins back, jogging up to the counter to bring you into a full fledged hug. “Have you eaten? It's already lunchtime.” His grin is contagious, and you scratch the back of your head, laughing nervously. “Uh, no.” 

Taehyun scolds you with a small ‘aigoo’, clicking his tongue. “It's a good thing we ordered pizza!” Yeonjun piped up, waving his phone, which had a delivery app opened up on it. “Pizza? In a museum? Wow, Jun, I thought you'd be more responsible,” Taehyun rolled his eyes at his colleague before adding on, “I'm kinda craving a coffee, honestly. Jet-lag is crazy. Y/N, what's the name of that place you bought me that really good black coffee the last time I visited? The one with that barista who called you a caffeine-addicted ninny?” “...you mean Nightbrew Cafe?” 

You plastered on a smile, trying to ignore how Yeonjun had doubled over in laughter at how your brother remembered your favorite cafe. Nightbrew was the local cafe/coffee shop, and was located practically in the middle of the college, Halazia Apartments and the museum. Naturally, when you first moved to Seoultham, you had started frequenting it as it was convenient. Over time, you even befriended the main day-shift barista, Jongho, who took a liking to you the first time he served you and you blurted out a “You too!” when he said “Enjoy your cake”. It was awkward and embarrassing, but it did lead to you becoming good friends with the muscly man. 

“Jongho didn't call me that, by the way!” You fumed, smacking Taehyun's shoulder defensively. “Oh, is that his name? But I remember it so clearly! He definitely did. Maybe I'll ask him, I wanted to go down to grab another one of those delectable coffees anyway. Go with me, sis, I don't know where it is.” Wooyoung had been quiet this whole time, but he suddenly blurted out after hearing that Taehyun and you intended to interact with the barista.

“H-he’s not working today!” 

“Who?”

“Uh- Jongho… he took an emergency leave today….”

You crossed your arms, looking suspiciously at Wooyoung. He immediately avoided your gaze, opting to state at the ground and shift slightly in his platform sneakers. 

“You know him?”

A hint of panic flashes across Wooyoung’s face. His eyes darted around hesitantly for a few moments, almost as if he was thinking of a lie.

“We…we're neighbors.”

“Hm. Okay.” You noted his odd behavior, once again reminding yourself that it was a far cry from the usual flirty and big-mouthed man he was.  After living in Seoultham for a few years, it was odd to you that your favorite barista and Wooyoung knew each other, and you didn't know. After all, the city population was generally low, and most people knew each other. 

Taehyun and Yeonjun looked uncomfortable as the two of you exchanged blank stares, before Taehyun hesitantly spoke up. “Dongsaeng, I'm actually not craving coffee anymore…let's go grab some snacks at a convenience store?” He rubbed your back soothingly, obviously trying to cut the weird tension between you and his business partner. Both him and Yeonjun could tell that there was something unpleasant going on between you and Wooyoung. You brushed off your elder brother. “Sorry, oppa, I'm kinda tired after my lecture. And Beomgyu said he wanted to play an online game with me too.” You quickly made up an excuse to leave as you added on. “By the way, thanks for paying my rent again, there have been way too many robberies at my workplace lately.” “Hah! You'd think with so many vigilantes here, there'd be fewer of those incidents,” Yeonjun scoffed jokingly. 

Wooyoung subtly chewing his lip in response to Yeonjun's words didn't go unnoticed by you. 

Later on in the evening…

“Beomgyu! Dammit! The guy on the left!” You yelled in frustration, the controller beginning to creak under your harsh grasp even as you slammed the buttons. The distant crackle sound of Beomgyu cut through your headset, his loud voice booming in your ears. “My left or yours!?” and bam! You were suddenly shot and dead, you tossed your controller next to you in anger, groaning into the microphone when your revival rate depleted when the guy who'd shot you started t-bagging your downed body. “What a dick.” You grumbled, groaning once more when your partner, Beomgyu, had died just as suddenly as you did. The screen flashing to whoever won the match when they got the final kill. “Dude, you suck.” Beomgyu’s static voice irritated you. 

“Shut up, it’s your fault we lost” You mumbled, throwing yourself the rest of the way onto the couch you currently sat at. “Excuse me!?” he retorted, but you drowned him out, glancing to the clock. There was a knock on your door. 

“Someone's at the door- I gotta go, bye oppa-” “Dude! I'm not done-” you shut off your console. Stretching before another set of knocks rang through your quiet apartment. 

“God, who the fuck’s here at this time-?” you fumed under your breath as you crossed over to the doorway. The handle of a battered baseball bat snug in your hand as protection in case whatever behind the door was trouble. You yank open the multiple locks on your door, a little harder than you intended, still agitated at your last game. You weren’t prepared to come face to face with one of the people you’d been dreading to see. 

“...Song?”

“Uhm, you can call me Mingi…” 

Mingi fidgeted under your heavy gaze as you looked him up and down. He took up nearly the entire door frame, but seemed to shrink in front of you in that moment. Your eyes lingered on his wringing hands and crumpled t-shirt. Almost as if he suddenly remembered something, he straightened up. “We- we need to talk. Can I come in?” You hesitated before stepping aside, allowing him to make his way into your apartment. Whatever he had to say, it was definitely going to answer some of your suppressed questions. 

Minutes later, Mingi sat on your two-seater couch, looking impossibly tense. He was fiddling with a piece of paper that he had produced from his pocket, putting it away when you’d re-entered the room with 2 mugs of barley tea. Was he looking at a fucking script?? You scoffed under your breath at the idea, before sitting in the armchair opposite the couch. 

“So? What’d you want to talk about?” 

“I…uhm…the bar fight at Arriba! You were there, right-?”

“Yes, I was there.” You decided not to give any confirmation that you’d indeed seen him that night. You still didn’t know why he’d come to talk to you about it. Shouldn’t he be informing his fellow vigilantes? Or…is he taking out the witnesses? Your grip on your lukewarm mug tightened, secretly preparing to smash it on your neighbor’s head at the first sign of threatening movement. Mingi’s jaw visibly shifted at your short answer, but he pressed on. “Did you…did you see anyone or anything weird, by any chance..? Anyone…familiar?” 

Wow, straight to the chase. 

You opened your mouth, ready to give another vague reply, when you fully took in Mingi’s form. You’d been so focused on watching out for danger, that you didn’t notice his expression and the look in his eyes. The poor guy looked like he was about to cry. You couldn’t help but feel bad for him, so you let down your guard. “Song, if this is about me seeing you without your mask, I-” 

*BANG!!* The door to your apartment suddenly slammed open, prompting you and Mingi to whip your heads toward the red figure that was barrelling through. 

“OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FU-” 

Before you could even fully process the situation, you were dangling by your sweater collar, pushed up against the wall. Your eyes raked over the rainbow-streak-haired man who was holding you up. The man who currently had a jagged knife pressed against your throat. Mingi was hurrying over from behind, yelling in protest at his apparent associate. “Joong-hyung, put her down! She doesn’t mean any harm!” “Ha! We don’t know that yet! You were takin’ too fucking long to interrogate her, so I had ta’ step in. You’re welcome, Batsy!” The (obviously deranged) stranger punctuated his last word by applying just the slightest bit of pressure on his weapon, drawing a drop of blood from your neck. You cried out loud at the sting. You were beginning to feel dizzy from how fast everything was going, not to mention from the sharpness of the blade on your skin. Is this it? Is this how you were going to die? 

No. Hell no. 

Sudden adrenaline rushed through you, fuelled by desperation to survive the situation you were involuntarily put in. You sent a kick to your captor’s stomach, forcing him to loosen his grip on your collar and drop you. Landing on the hardwood floor with a thump, you rolled away. The escape drills that Changbin taught you a few years back were being put to use. Your baseball bat, leaned against the couch, came into view, and you immediately dived towards it. “Kang- Y/N, please calm down-!” Mingi attempted to grab you, but not before you got your hands on the bat and brandished it at him and his associate. “I swear to fuck, Song, I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but I took Judo for like, 5 months when I was 14, so you better keep your hands off me.” He stared helplessly in response, his associate hobbling over to him. A combination of scattered voices and hurried footsteps at the doorway pulled your attention away. A spark of hope, albeit rather preposterous, bloomed in you, deep down hoping that it was Chungha, or your friends, or your brother - anyone who could get help. 

Oh my days.

Instead, 6 men came jostling in, and your grip on the bat tightened. They were all dressed in variations of dark-colored clothing and masks, yelling different things at the one that had almost killed you just a minute ago. A red-haired man draped in an oversized, dark green suit, who was the only one not wearing a mask, irritably waved a hand at the other 5, effectively silencing them. He stepped forward with a hand out. “Miss Y/N, please calm down, I assure you that we mean no harm, and we just want to talk…” You were distracted by his features for a moment. His skin was almost glowing, prominent cat eyes and a hooked nose, his hair a bright red. He looked like an olden day Greek sculptor’s rendition of a siren; alluring and mysterious. The hand that he had extended towards you had tiny vines entwined around them, twisting around at his fingertips. It didn’t take a degree in criminology to figure out that he was one of the most prominent names in Seoultham’s vigilante scene. “Y-you… aren’t you-?” “Yes, that’s me, I’m Ivy.” The infamous hybrid vigilante, known for his captivating charm and plant-like abilities. His voice was silky and had an aura that made you relax. Just a little, though. You were still on guard. After all, there were 8 strangers in your house, one of them being your neighbor who you’ve barely talked to. Ivy lowered his hand before approaching the man on the floor. 

“Quinn, are you okay?” “Don’t use that name, V, we don’t know how much this chick knows!” Quinn, the rainbow-streak haired man, scoffed at Ivy as he stood up from where he was crouched earlier. “She’s no harm, dude, I sweat!” “Its ‘I swear’, Hawke.” “Oh, sorry…” You had to do a double-take at the 2 who spoke next; a tall masked man in a coat, and another who had a pair of large, feathered- are those fucking wings?? You couldn’t help but gawk at him. The rest of the group included a feline-like man wearing a cat mask, a silk-masked man in a dark leather jacket, and a brooding, hooded figure with their face concealed entirely by a stitched-up mask. Mingi stepped out from a corner, hesitating before speaking up. 

“Can we…can we talk to you?” 

Christ. What have I gotten into? 

[littlefankingdom]

Everytime something happens in France in a comic, I realize how little researches comics writers do. And like, if they are this bad with my western country, how bad it is with third-world countries they talk about???

In Nightwing (2016), Raptor is from a circus that was near Paris during Mary Grayson's childhood, so more than 40 years ago at least.

In this flashback, they accuse the mayor of Paris of having given leprosy to the romani and of keeping away the meds they need. Already, with our healthcare's system, it's hardly possible, as they would be able to go to a hospital to get the help they need. Do they think "public healthcare" means the state has a direct control on medication, because that's not the case at all. The French gov control the money put into medication, how much is bought, but a mayor has no power over this. I just don't understand how something like this could happen. You can totally write a racist medical scandal in France, but makes it make sense with our system.

But also, Paris didn't have a mayor until 1977, so if it's before 1977, impossible. And, Paris' mayor from 1977 to 1995 is JACQUES CHIRAC, who was the PRESIDENT after. They wrote a story implying that a French President kept medications away from sick people, was discovered and was still elected President. And, yes, the French government is far from good and they have deeply harmed the romani, but like, maybe don't write shit like that. (Also, Chirac was really against the war of Iraq, and stood up against the US, which France is still paying the price for to this day. So I don't really like an USAmerican to criticize Chirac. Like, we can do it, others can do it, but not USAmericans, y'all have done enough) I'm pretty sure that wasn't the goal of the writers. No, what happen is that they didn't do researches about Paris' mayor and so, wrote that shit.

This may be inspired by the contaminated blood's scandal in the 80s-90s, which was worst in France, but no mayor was found guilty, it was doctors who knowingly contaminated patients with a deadly illness. And the French government was held accountable, even if they had no hand in it, as a matter of principle.

I understand it's a fiction, and they didn't literally wrote "Chirac did this", but it's kind of clumsy. (Especially because of everything I wrote earlier about Chirac's politics and how the US is still punishing France for being against killing civilians and destroying Iraq. France was doing the right thing, and the US worked so France would go back in line and treat Arabs like shit. Do not think western countries are free from the US' imperialism)

And in no way I'm saying that you cannot write France being awful, I know my gov's crimes (rn, they have deported homeless out of Paris for the Olympics, the President is refusing to acknowledge the left won the elections and to take a leftist prime minister so we have no prime minister since mid July and fuck democracy I guess, they support Israel's crimes against humanity, and are behaving like the colonizers that they are in New-Caledonia, sending the armies against the Kanaks that have not enough power on their own land), I'm just saying it should at least be believable enough to work. (Easiest way: make the cops racist. Boom. Also, French cops talk like vilains, it's insane.) And also, not about someone touchy like clumsily painting badly a president that was punished by the US for doing the right thing.

[montimer]

Can I request goofy evil scientist!reader x joker headcanons?

Like the reader is still quite a beginner in being a villain and is not that good. More seen as a joke villain rather then a threat, they just mainly rob banks, steal stuff, the normal cartoony villain shenanigans. They also have a goofy evil laugh.

And I wanna see how the joker will think of that (idk how to phrase it)

Idk really, sorry (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

Sure sure!

Joker x scientist!reader

Gn!reader, reader is a beginner villain

A new villain in gotham. A new pain in the butt for the police. And a new soon to be obsession for our prince of crime.

You are a beginner and for whatever reason you turned to the evil side, you want to make others suffer for it. And their wallets

You begin with simply robbery. Your weapon is either a gun or some toxin, maybe both.

Gotham didn't fail to notice how clumsy and new you were. The other villains just ignored you for the most part. But not him.

Back at the asylum, joker was watching the big tv from one of the rooms. Thats when he noticed you. You looked so different, so unique, so silly! Now you got his attention. The tv showed ur latest crime. And a clip too.

There you were, a bit far away from the camera. He almost got up from his seat to take a better look until- he heard ur laugh. It was so goofy but evil like. It made him crack up. His smile widened upon seeing you. He wanted to know you better, and more about you.

He randomly showed up at your crime. You think hes here to steal before you can. He tells you "You gotta catch me to earn these sweets" he waves the pearls in his hand. You run towards him and he giggles to himself as he watches you chase him.

"Hahahaha! You got this, keep up dear!" He just runs too fast, you can't catch up

You're getting annoyed and choose to stop in your track. "Ah whatever its just some pearls" you turn back to see what else to steal.

He stops too as he notices that you aren't chasing him anymore. He puffs and scolds you. You just ignore him until you hear something. O-oh. Its the cops

He motions his hands for you to run with him and in your hurry you decide to go with him.

Hardly but the two of you escape.

You pant as you stare up at him. "Y-you! Cuz of you i could barley focus, now we only got that stupid necklace.." you stare at it. He giggles as you angrily look up at him.

"You're so cute when your angry, i like ya sweets. Oh, heres your pretty lil necklace" before you could object he put the necklace full of pearls around you.

"Consider it a gift!"

Oh now your mad. "It was mine to begin with! Plus its not for wearing, this thing cost-" he put his fingers to your mouth to shush you up.

"Shhh, ofc its for wearing. You wouldn't sell a gift now would you?" You give him a tired look.

He smiles and pets your head.

"Good good. Well would you look at the time? I gotta slip! See you around!" He bows and waves as he runs to the other direction.

You just watch him until he disappears, he seemed to like that since he took one last look back. Oh well, maybe next time you'll succeed. Wait..did he said see you around? Oh god no

[psychedelic-ink]

𝑭𝑳𝑶𝑾𝑬𝑹𝑺 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑩𝑳𝑶𝑶𝑴 𝑰𝑵 𝑾𝑰𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑹

pairing: modern!din djarin x f!reader

genre: romance, holiday fic, flowershop au, fluff

word count: 5.4k

summary: A spiteful coworker ruins the flower arrangements you had hoped to compete with. Not knowing what can be done, you entertain a young boy named Grogu who comes in at the same time wanting to buy a bouquet for his father. The next day, Din returns and offers to help you out with your work until a competition. However, he is a bit awkward and clumsy when it comes to love.

warnings: single dad!din, grogu being adorable, so much fluff, me trying to figure out what's it like working at a flower shop

a/n: this is my secret santa gift for @writeforfandoms ! thank you to @pedrostories who hosted the event, I had a blast writing this and I hope you enjoy, happy holidays! ♡♡♡

my prompt was; something soft and sweet - a holiday meet cute, or a holiday date.

You approach the flower shop you work a with a pep in your step. You can see that the windows are decorated with festive wreaths and garlands. The cold winter air nips at your nose as you push open the door, and you're greeted by a warm, cozy atmosphere inside. The shop is filled with the fragrant scent of pine and holly, and there are all sorts of beautiful holiday arrangements on display. You see poinsettias in every shade of red and green, as well as colorful bouquets of winter flowers like amaryllis and paperwhites. you can't help but feel a sense of cheer and joy in the midst of the cold winter season. 

You walk to the back, especially excited to see the holiday arrangements you made for the holiday flower show. You’ve been working on them day and night the past week, honestly, you were kind of proud of them. They truly turned out beautiful, even Cassian himself had said so, and he was one of the best in the business.

With a shudder, you remove your coat and beanie, and you feel a sense of dread wash over you. With horror, you notice that the room is in complete disarray, with flowers and foliage scattered everywhere. You can hardly believe your eyes as you take in the destruction of your beloved arrangements.

The once beautiful display is now a colorful mess. You feel a wave of emotions wash over you - shock, sadness, and anger. The once vibrant and carefully arranged flowers are now a jumbled mess, with petals crushed underfoot and broken stems lying haphazardly on the ground. Your heart sinks as you survey the damage. Kneeling down, you touch the white and pink petals, they’re soft, feeling like silk against your fingertips.  

As you begin to pick up the scattered petals and broken stems, your heart feels heavy. You had put so much time and effort into creating these arrangements, and now they were ruined. As you work to clean up the mess, you try to focus on the task at hand, but your mind keeps drifting back to the destruction. 

You know who’d done it of course. Only three people worked here after all; you, your boss —Cassian, who was out during the time of the crime— and your coworker. Claire. She hated your guts from the start, and her grievances simmered like a fine winter stew each day you worked together. It was her doing. You are sure of it. 

You’ve been waiting to join the show for a good while now. The years before you were either too busy or something came up; last year, during New Year’s you had promised yourself that you would join but apparently, that wish of yours isn’t going to happen. 

You hear soft footsteps, knowing who it is, you don’t look up and scoop up the last remnants of the ripped petals. 

“What happened?” Cassian asks, looking down at the mess. “I was out only for an hour,” 

You scoff, hiding your disappointment by looking down at your hands, “What do you think happened?” 

“I’ll talk to her.” 

“Don’t bother— If you’re not going to fire her, there’s no point in talking.” 

The silence that follows is louder than words. You can’t really blame him for not firing her. Firing Claire meant that her father took away the money he poured into the shop thanks to her daughter working here.

You understand Cassian's predicament, but it doesn't make the situation any easier for you. You feel betrayed and hurt that she would go to such extremes, and it's hard to shake the feeling.

"I'm so sorry," Cassian says, kneeling down next to you. "I had no idea she would do something like this. I'll make it right, I promise."

You shake your head, feeling defeated. "I don't know how you can make this right. The show is in a few days, and all my arrangements are ruined. I won't have time to start over."

"I'll help you," Cassian offers. "We'll work together and create new arrangements. I know it won't be easy, but… We can manage to do this."

You look at Cassian, feeling touched by his words. You appreciate the offer, but you just can't bring yourself to accept it. Your mood has been ruined, and you don't feel up to working on anything new. You shake your head and try to smile, hoping that Cassian will understand.

As you continue to clean up the mess of your destroyed flower arrangements, you hear the sound of the shop's door opening. You look up to see a young boy walking in, a bright smile on his face as he looks around at the various flowers and plants. He must be about five or six years old.

You can't help but smile back at the curious little boy, noting the small patch of green hair peeking out from under his dark brown locks. He looks full of energy and enthusiasm, and you feel a sense of warmth toward him.

"Hello there," you say, trying to keep the conversation lighthearted despite the frustration you're feeling. "Welcome to the shop. Do you need any help? Are you here alone?”

The boy looks up at you, a sheepish expression on his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cause any trouble," he says. "My dad is just next door at the coffee shop. He said I could come in and take a look around while he finishes ordering."

You’re relieved that the boy isn’t completely alone. "Oh, that's alright," you say with a smile.

The boy looks up at you, his big brown eyes shining with excitement. "I'm looking for a special flower for my dad," he says. “A lot of’em.”

You can't help but feel touched by the boy's thoughtfulness. “So, a bouquet then?” you look fondly at Cassian who nods and smiles. 

“What’s your name?” he asks slightly kneeling forward. 

“Grogu,” 

“Alright then Grogu, follow us. We’ll make sure you have something special for your dad,” 

You and Grogu browse the selection of flowers and plants, and you chat about what kind of bouquet would be perfect for his father. You ask about his family, and Grogu tells you that he doesn’t have a mom, your heart breaks at his tone. You can see the sadness in his eyes but don’t pry further. 

Just then, Cassian's phone rings and he excuses himself to take the call. You and Grogu are left alone to continue your flower shopping. Despite the unexpected turn of events, you’re grateful for the chance to spend some quality time with little Grogu. You both continue to chat and browse the selection of plants, getting to know each other better as you go.

As you talk, you’re drawn to the boy's infectious curiosity and enthusiasm. He's full of questions about the different flowers and plants, and you find yourself laughing at his adorable observations.

"Hey, do you think this flower looks like a ballerina?" Grogu asks, pointing to a delicate pink rose.

You can't help but chuckle at the comparison. "I can see it now," you say with a smile. "A little ballerina flower twirling amongst the other blooms."

Grogu giggles, his eyes sparkling with delight. "Yeah, and I bet she's a really good dancer too!" he says.

He's such a sweet and lovable little guy. He’s a little spark of joy after the morning you had. 

Your thoughts briefly drift back to the ruined arrangements that you had worked so hard on. It's hard to push the disappointment and frustration out of your mind, but you know that you need to focus on the task at hand - helping Grogu choose a special gift for his father.

Suddenly, the little boy turns to you with a determined look on his face. "Can I make the flower bouquet myself?" he asks.

You smile at Grogu's enthusiasm and desire to be involved in the process. "Of course, you can," you say with a smile. "I'd be happy to help you put it together."

Grogu beams at you, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "Thank you!" he says.

Grogu starts to put together the flower arrangement for his dad, you can see that he's a little bit unsure of himself. He's not experienced with flowers, and he's a little bit nervous about getting it right. 

Together, you choose a selection of colorful flowers and greenery. You show Grogu how to trim the stems and arrange the flowers in a pleasing way. He listens carefully to your instructions and tries his best to follow along.

The final arrangement isn't the most expertly done, but it's cute and charming. Grogu looks at it with pride and a big smile on his face. "I think my dad will really like it," he says.

Just as you're about to ring up the purchase, Grogu realizes that he doesn't have any money on him. He looks at you with a mix of embarrassment and sadness, and you can see that he's worried that he won't be able to take the flowers home after all.

You hesitate for a moment, considering your options. You know that you’re not supposed to hand out flowers to every kid that wonders inside, but you also can't bear the thought of disappointing Grogu. In the end, you decide to let him take the flowers home with him. You know that you'll find a way to make it work. Honestly, you doubt Cassian will mind anyway.

"Don't worry about it, Grogu," you say, smiling at him. "I'm sure your dad will love the flowers, and that's all that matters. You can pay me back next time."

Grogu's face lights up with gratitude, and he thanks you. You can see that he's truly touched by your kindness, and you feel happy that you were able to spread a little bit of joy.

Just as Grogu is leaving the shop, you see Claire walk in. She looks smug and self-satisfied, and a surge of anger and resentment bubbles inside you. You struggle to keep your emotions in check.

"Hey, looks like someone had a good day," Claire says, eyeing the flowers in Grogu's hand as the boy leaves. "I guess some people just have all the luck."

You can feel your temper rising, and you struggle to keep your voice calm. "Luck had nothing to do with it," you say, trying to keep the sarcasm out of your voice. "Grogu was just a kind, thoughtful kid. Unlike some people, who seem to get their kicks from destroying other people's hard work."

Claire rolls her eyes, looking annoyed. "Whatever," she says. "I don't have time for this. I just came to see if there was anything I could help with."

You can feel your blood boiling, but just then, Cassian comes back into the shop. He looks from you to Claire, sensing the tension in the air. "What's going on here?" he asks, frowning.

"Nothing," you say, shaking your head. "Just a misunderstanding. I think it's best if Claire and I just stay out of each other's way for a while."

Cassian nods, looking relieved. "I think that's a good idea," he says, turning to Claire. "I think it's best if you take the rest of the day off. We'll talk more tomorrow."

Anger crosses Claire’s face, but she nods and leaves the shop without another word. You can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction at the resolution, you take a deep breath and turn to Cassian, grateful.

“Thanks, but you know you’re going to hear an earful from her dad right?” 

“I know,” he answers, exasperated. “I just didn’t have the patience to deal with her. Tomorrow’s Cassian will have to deal with it.” 

It’s a brand new day yet you don’t feel hopeful or renewed at all. Claire is inside working on her own arrangements while you look over the shop. Your mind keeps drifting back to the events of the previous day. You're still angry and you can't shake the feeling of frustration as you go about your work.

You move around the shop, carefully arranging flowers in vases and pots. You start with a bouquet of bright yellow daffodils, adding in sprigs of baby's breath and a few fern fronds for texture. Next, you tackle a vase of deep red roses, interspersing the blooms with sprigs of greenery and a few spiky thistles for contrast.

You admire the vibrant colors and delicate shapes of the flowers. Despite your anger and frustration, you find a sense of calm in the repetitive, soothing motions of flower arranging.

Suddenly, the bell above the door jingles, and —what you assume— a customer enters the shop. You put on a smile and turn to greet them, trying to push your anger to the back of your mind as you prepare yourself to help them. 

“That’s her daddy. She’s the one that helped me!” 

Your eyes drop down at the voice, you see Grogu from yesterday, his smile is wide as he points at you, his other hand nestled within a much larger one that clearly doesn’t belong to him. 

Your gaze slowly lifts from the child, and you are met with the sight of a man whose features are both rugged and refined. Confidence and charm exude from his face, and his dark, expressive eyes seem to speak to your very soul. His smile, warm and genuine, lights up his entire being.

"Hello," he says, his voice deep and rich. "Grogu told me about yesterday. I'm sorry if he caused you any kind of trouble."

You shake your head violently, your cheeks are uncomfortably warm and at the same time cold. You compose yourself with a deep breath. “He wasn’t any trouble at all, really— In fact he improved my day a long shot,” 

“That’s good to hear,” he says. 

His lips are parted as if he’s about to say more but Grogu peels his tiny hand away from his father’s and runs towards you. You look down, shocked, and raise your hands, not really knowing what to do with them. Hesitantly, you meet the man’s gaze and he softly nods, only then do you softly touch the young boy’s back, giving him a hug. 

“He also told me that he couldn’t pay when we reached home,” he continues a hint of annoyance surfacing mid-sentence. He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He takes a step forward. “It’s a bit late but I would like to pay for it. They were lovely,” 

“Oh,” you stare at him wide-eyed, Grogu looks up at you with a smile. “Well—Thank you for offering but there’s no need. I’m glad you enjoyed them, Grogu made it,” 

“With your help,” the child says, tiny brows furrowing. “We did it together!” 

“Yes, yes we did,” you chuckle, patting him on the back. He moves away from you and starts to observe the arrangements you made. 

“That’s very kind of you but I should pay,” he says stepping forward his hand mid-pulling out his wallet. “How much do we owe you— Grogu don’t mess up the flowers,” 

When you turn you see Grogu looking at his father like a dear in headlights, the tips of his fingers touching one of the daffodils. Looking embarrassed, he pulls back his hand and gives you an apologetic look. 

But that’s not what you’re thinking about at all. You’re thinking about the way the man’s voice changed, the strictness of it, a shudder rolls down your spine and heat settles at your tailbone. You swallow. 

“Like I said it’s okay,” 

Din's eyes linger on you, taking in your earnest expression and the way your hands remain raised, refusing payment. After a moment, he gives in, sighing and stuffing his wallet back into his pocket. 

"Let me at least buy you coffee," Din says, a smile stretching into a grin as he sees the shock on your face. "My name is Din by the way," he adds, extending his hand toward you. "Nice to meet you."

You introduce yourself and give his hand a firm squeeze, feeling the strength and warmth of his grasp. Din's smile is infectious, and you find your own lips curving upwards in response.

“I need to drop off Grogu now, but how about I meet you here in about an hour? Would you be free then?” 

Your eyes move towards the hallway that leads to the room Claire is making her arrangements in, you nod without a second thought. Cassian owes you a favor anyway. 

You and Din sit near the window of the cozy coffee shop. The winter air outside is crisp and cold, but inside, the shop is warm and inviting. The scent of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods fills the air, and you can't help but breathe in deeply, savoring the rich, comforting aroma.

The shop is bustling with activity, and the sound of laughter and conversation fills the air. The walls are adorned with warm, cozy blankets and colorful throw pillows, creating a sense of comfort and hominess. The light from the large windows filters in, casting a soft, golden glow on everything it touches.

You sit and sip your coffee, you listen enthusiastically to what Din has to say. It’s already been an hour since you came in and neither of you shows no signs of wanting to leave. As expected of him, Din talks a lot about Grogu, which makes you smile widely. You also learn that he’s quite the skilled man, he tells you how he enjoys model building and how he might have a bit of an addiction to legos. You say that you’re the same with plants, your home basically a greenhouse with how much flora you have. 

He briefly mentions the passing of Grogu’s mother but before you can say anything he takes a bite of his muffin and directs a question at you. 

“So, what’s your story? Did you always want to work at a flower shop?” 

You take a moment to gather your thoughts, wrapping your hands tightly around the mug of coffee as you consider Din's question. You relish the warmth of the mug, letting it seep into your bones. He crosses his legs and leans against the window, his demeanor much more relaxed now. 

“I mean, I know you like plants, but that’s a bit different from making floral arrangements isn’t it?” 

"I started working at the flower shop when I was desperately searching for a job," you answer, turning back to Din. "The flower shop was hiring. I wasn't sure if I would enjoy it at first, but I ended up loving it. There's something so satisfying about it that stuck with me. I’ve been working with Cassian ever since."

Suddenly, the sound of a ringing phone interrupts your conversation. You reach into your pocket and pull out your phone, glancing at the screen before answering. It’s Cassian, you already have an inkling of what’s going on.

"Hello?" you say, your voice a little bit louder than it was before. "Oh, hey. Yeah, I'm at the coffee shop. What's up?"

“I’m sorry but I need you to come back,” his modulated voice reaches you. “I—Well—Claire is occupied, she’s saying she can’t have her flow of inspiration be cut,” 

“I hear you loud and clear,” you sigh, once again reminded of your own ruined chances of joining the competition. “I’ll be right there,” 

After a few minutes, you end the call and turn back to Din with an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry about that," you say. "I have to go."

Din nods, "Of course," he says. "I hope everything is okay."

“Well…more or less,” 

“We can…” he takes a sharp breath and continues. “We can talk about it if you want to—I don’t want to pry, of course, but I just thought I should ask,” 

You hesitate for a moment, considering Din's offer. You usually don't open up to people about your dreams and struggles, but for some reason, you feel like you can trust him. There's something about Din that makes you feel safe and understood, and you find yourself wanting to confide in him.

"Well, I actually wanted to join the local holiday flower show," you say, your voice low and hesitant. "But my co-worker —her name is Claire— destroyed them but nothing can be done because of her dad’s influence on the shop and now she gets to work on her own arrangements and I’m being beckoned to look over the shop because she doesn’t want her—"you make quotation marks with your fingers. “—flow of inspiration be cut.”

Din nods, a sympathetic expression on his face. "Are you still going to compete?” 

"I don't know," you say, feeling a sense of frustration bubble up inside of you. "I'm just so agitated right now. And I don't think I'll be able to get everything together in time for the competition even if I tried."

Din's expression turns to one of concern. "You can't give up just because of a shitty co-worker—Sorry for swearing but—" he says adding the second part with haste, his voice laced with a hint of anger. "Your co-worker shouldn't have destroyed your arrangements like that. You have to keep going and not let her hold you back."

Before you can say anything he raises his hand, his brows furrowed. 

“I’ll help you,” he says. “We can make it together.” 

“W-Wait, what?” you blink in shock. “You would really do that?” 

"Of course. Besides It's no problem," he says. "I'm happy to help. And I have a feeling that we're going to make an amazing team." when you stare at him, unsure, he winks and takes another sip of his coffee. “Besides, I owe you for the bouquet.” 

You and Din are huddled over a table covered in flowers and supplies, focused on creating the perfect arrangements for the competition. You can feel the tension between you, but it's a good kind of tension. You're both nervous and excited, and you keep stealing glances at each other as you work.

"Okay, so I think we should start with this bouquet of roses," you say, holding up a bundle of deep red flowers. "We can add in some baby's breath for texture, and maybe some fern fronds for a pop of green."

As you reach for a pair of scissors, your hands brush against each other, and you feel a jolt of electricity run through your body. You pull back quickly, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.

Din seems to feel it too, and you see a hint of a smile on his lips. "Yeah, that sounds good," he says, his voice low. "I think we should also mix in some of these daisies for a bit of contrast."

You grin at him, trying to play it cool despite the flutter in your chest. "That's a great idea," you say, your voice a bit unsteady. "And we could add in some spiky thistles for a bit of edge."

Din chuckles, his eyes lighting up with amusement. "Thistles? Are you trying to kill me?" he asks, playfully swatting at your hand.

Your laughter fills the air, a melody of joy and surprise. You never expected to get along so well with Din, but the connection between you seems almost magical. As you work side by side, you can't help but wonder if there's something deeper, something that goes beyond. Could it be love blooming between you, like the flowers you tend with such care? The thought makes your heart flutter.

As you gently weave the flowers together, your hands accidentally meet, a spark igniting between you. You gaze into each other's eyes, and in that moment, you feel like the world falls away. You're drawn towards Din, an undeniable pull that makes your lips tingle with anticipation. But just as you lean in, he breaks away, licking his lips and looking uncertain. You withdraw as well, your heart racing, wondering if you were just imagining things.

Just then, Cassian enters the shop, and you introduce him to Din. You mention that Din is Grogu’s father and Cassian’s eyes lit up when he remembers the young boy from the days before.

"I'm so glad to see you two working together," Cassian says. "And I'm happy that you're going to compete in the flower show. I honestly believe you’re the best one to win, "

Cassian heads inside and you turn to Din, explaining to him that the shop has been struggling lately and that the money from the competition could help. You also mention how Claire's father has been causing problems for Cassian, and how you're hoping to find a way to deal with it. The money might help, you add.

Din listens attentively, "I'm here to help in any way I can," he says, squeezing your hand. "We'll figure it out together."

You and Din work on the arrangements. A sense of ease and comfort in each other's company. As you carefully place the flowers in a vase, Din speaks up.

"I haven't felt this way in a long time," he says, his voice thick with emotion. "Ever since Grogu's mother passed away, I've been so focused on him that I haven't really allowed myself to think about anything else."

You look at Din, your heart filled with compassion. "I'm so glad that Grogu came into the shop that day," you say, surprised at how soft, and sincere you sound. "I'm glad that we got to meet."

Din smiles at you. "Me too," he says. "I feel like I'm finally starting to come back to life."

You both continue working on the arrangements, you're falling for Din, and you can tell that he feels the same way—At least, you hope that he does. 

When the two of you are finally done, you glance at one another. But just as you're lost in each other's gaze, Din trips and falls, his arms flailing as he tries to catch himself. You try to catch him too, but he ends up pulling you down with him, and the two of you tumble to the ground in a heap.

You both lay there, laughing and trying to catch your breath. 

“Whoops,” he says, his hands secured on your hips. “Are you okay?” 

“Vey much so,” you grin. “What did you even trip on?” 

“I honestly have no idea,”

-Din gathers his things and gets ready to leave, you walk him to the door. The air outside is cold and crisp, and the snow is falling gently from the sky. You breathe in the winter air, relishing in the crispness of it.

"The competition is tomorrow morning," you say, your voice filled with anticipation. "I just wanted to thank you again for all your help. I couldn't have done it without you."

Din smiles at you, his eyes shining with warmth. "It was my pleasure," he says. "I'm just glad I could be of help."

As he turns to leave, you feel like he’s slipping from your fingers, for some reason you’re convinced that if he leaves now you’ll never see him again. You're not ready for him to go—With a boldness that surprises even you, you lean forward and give him a quick peck on the cheek.

The touch of your lips on his skin sends shivers down your spine. Din's eyes widen in surprise, and he licks his lips nervously.

"I-I should go," he stammers, fingers brushing where you kissed. "I'll see you tomorrow."

And with that, he turns and walks away, leaving you standing at the door, your heart racing with excitement and anticipation for what the future might bring.

The morning air is crisp and invigorating as you and Cassian make your way to the competition. 

Your senses are overwhelmed by the sight and smell of all the beautiful flowers on display when you enter the room. You see rows of vibrant bouquets and intricate arrangements, each one more stunning than the last. 

Your eyes wander across the seats, feeling slightly disappointed when you don’t see Din there. You had hoped that he would be here with Grogu, but it seems like he got preoccupied with something else. 

Despite this, you refuse to let it get you down. You focus on your own arrangements, determined to give it your all. You can see Claire setting up her flowers on the other side of the room, a smug smile on her face. You can't wait to show her that you're not going to be held back by her petty actions.

The judges slowly make their way around the room, you feel your nerves start to build.  Claire looks at you with annoyance as the judges approach her table, and you can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction as you watch her fidget nervously.

The judges finally reach your table, you hold your breath and watch as they carefully inspect your arrangements. You can't gather anything from their expressions, but you try to keep a positive attitude. You glance over at Cassian when one of them reaches out and touches one of the roses, he gives you a reassuring thumbs up. You feel your chest tighten with hope and anticipation as the judges move on to the next table.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the judges make their way back to the front of the room to announce the winners. You cross your fingers and hold your breath as the first-place prize is announced.

As the judges are about to speak, you see Din and Grogu slip into the room and take a seat next to Cassian. Din catches your eye and gives you a smile, and for a moment, it feels like the rest of the room disappears and it's just the two of you. Your heart races as Din's piercing gaze meets yours, and the air between you crackles with electricity.

You can feel your body responding to Din's presence, you can't help but be drawn to him. His rugged features and piercing eyes captivate you, and you can't help but wonder what it would be like to feel his lips pressed against yours, to be enveloped in his embrace. The judges' voices fade into the background as you are lost in a haze of possibility and hope, knowing that, with Din by your side, anything is possible.

But before you can fully process this moment, the judges announce the winner. When they announce your name, the crowd cheers and you feel every muscle in your body going limp with shock, your lips parting wide with a sharp gasp. But as you accept your prize and look back up, you see that Din has vanished, leaving Grogu holding Cassian's hand. Cassian, understand what you’re asking immediately, points towards the door.

You quickly make your way toward the exit, when you step outside, the cold winter air bites at your skin, but you hardly notice. You're too focused on the man in front of you, the one who has captured your heart and your soul.

Din stands before you, his eyes shining with pride and love. "I'm so happy for you," he says, his voice filled with emotion. "You deserve this victory."

“I couldn't have done it without you,” 

“Do you think I have a career in flower arrangements?” 

You chuckle, lips curved as you gaze at him, “Maybe, you want me to put in the word to Cassian?”

Much to your surprise, he wraps one arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his body. Din teases you to look up by wiggling his eyebrows. Confused, you look up only to see that he's holding a sprig of mistletoe over your head, a hint of crimson on his cheeks.

"A bit lame, I know," he says, trying to play it cool. "But I couldn't think of anything else to do."

You grin at Din, every nerve in your body singing with delight. You can't resist the opportunity to show him just how much he means to you. You lean in and give him a soft, lingering kiss, feeling his strong arms wrap around you as he returns the gesture with equal enthusiasm.

Din seems a bit surprised at first, but then he holds you tight and the two of you stand there in each other's embrace, the world around you melting away. You feel like you're floating on air, lost in the magic of the moment.

Eventually, you reluctantly pull back, your lips still tingling with the memory of the kiss. You can't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation, feeling giddy and lightheaded with happiness. You've always been a bit of a romantic, and Din seems to have caught on to that. You can't wait to see what the future holds for the two of you. With Din by your side, anything seems possible.

[cloudbattrolls]

Arrival

Etuuya Vannyn | Present Night | Kaningård Cavern

This drabble is followed by Aftermath.

Tuuya stared at the printed notice without really taking it in, their soft hands holding it limply. Their bright green eyes were blank, almost unseeing, their body still. They barely moved within their skin, worms leaden with shock and helplessness.

Hello Matron Superior Vannyn,

We are pleased to inform you that you will be receiving and maintaining Miss Ardoat Lentya as a full matron in Kaningård when she arrives on -

The rest blurred before them.

All that mattered was the name.

The name, and the red trident crisply embossed into the stationary the notice had been typed on.

“Ardie…” they whispered, as if saying her nickname with apology could undo the suffering they’d inflicted on the jade.

The worm swarm shook their head. No use staring at the wall and being miserable; they had to tell the others. She supposedly arrived tomorrow night; no doubt the empire hoped to catch them unawares.

Well, thought Tuuya as they grabbed their silver cane and rose to their feet, stuffing the notice in their sylladex as they walked out of their room, they were going to have to try a little harder than that.

As they walked, they took out their phone, texting all their immediate subordinates; the coordinators in charge of the lab, the kitchen, the young mother grub, the egg incubation room, and so on.

I want things spick and span! Don’t spare the sponges.

A true statement. Also a code to clean up and conceal any suspicious activities, shuffle any mutant grubs and wrigglers to the hidden containment areas or evacuation tunnels, disguise any jades who might be not entirely legal themselves, and purge all their message logs and call histories.

A clumsy job, and the absence of such things would certainly draw attention if investigated, but fortunately, they had an excuse for that.

Viruses could be so unfortunate, Tuuya would comment. Remarkable how this one managed to get even into a cavern system, wouldn’t you know it? Perhaps someone was a little too careless on an online gaming site…or, goodness, pirating movies! The sheer cheek, they’d say, shaking their head in imagined abashment.

Admit to a lesser crime, apparently embarrassed, to conceal a greater one.

Then they made a call, speaking a few sentences before hanging up

“Selene. Take Chroma for a field trip. There’s sandwiches in the fridge.”

Another code. He knew what to do, how long to stay away, to not communicate with them beyond this message until he got the all-clear. 

Then they called Uunive.

“Ardie’s coming.” They said lightly, as if the very name was not a heavy weight between the pair of them. “You know how she is.”

Again, they hung up quickly. 

Only the worm swarm and their daughter did in fact, know how she was. Or how she’d been, once, kept in this very cavern…

They made it where they’d been intending to go. Curse their slower pace, but they knocked on the door, and opened it to see a dear, familiar frown.

“You have to evacuate.” They said quietly to Ailene. “An imperial agent is on her way. One placed here permanently. You know where to go.”

Their human daughter nodded, the large moths she bred fluttering around her as she immediately went to grab necessities in preparation.

Tuuya noticed, as they left her, some beetles in the hall. Hardly unusual; Uunive had her own swarm of them she communed with. But as these scuttled out of sight, Tuuya noted they were not the same species; similar, but their carapaces were silvery gray.

Unease prickled through the worm swarm, and it took restraint to not start tying their insides in knots. No, surely if the empire was already here they’d be getting their doors broken down by drones this very moment. Or else it would have already happened.

Still. There was something about them…

But they weren’t swarm-white, and there no others besides themself, Gallen, Inshii, and Helixe.

Helixe…

Tuuya cursed themself in Svenska. How could they be so stupid! Their pupa needed them -

No. They forced themself to stop. Helixe would be fine. They had taught it about evacuations, it had learned just like the other at-risk wrigglers…

But they still ached to think of their youngest in other hands, no matter how capable those hands were.

Stress turned to hunger, as it always did. Tuuya sighed, impatient with their own body as ever when appetite struck while they were trying to get things done.

But there was no denying it. They made their way to the nearest fridge in a common room, bereft of other people as they heard distinct activity signaling their orders were being followed.

Ears flicking, they downed a gallon or so of chilled blood in quick gulps. Tuuya preferred it warm, but this was no time to be picky; they needed to stay focused. 

Right. Yes. Time to warn Crimew and Florah against visiting. They texted both of their children at once, wishing they had time to send personalized messages to each, but the basic code would have to do.

At least Melina was safe, totally unknown here as she was. Their quadrants were away; Jaskir never visited, Kamala and Vrayan were busy, and Channi rarely left his hive’s grounds to begin with.

They sent all four a warning to not contact them for the moment, again wishing they had time to personalize it to each one, but no, quick was the word when all their quads were mutants.

Tuuya sat down heavily on a chair near the fridge, propping their cane against it before stretching out their limbs and trying to make sure they de-tensed from gripping their bones so tightly.

Just a minute’s rest, then they’d -

Their phone chirped with a cheerful tone, a red trident flashing on the display.

They felt an eerie calm form from the pit of their anxiety. Yes. They had figured the empire had lied in the notice, hoping to make them think they had more time than they did…

…but this was still quite soon.

Ardie, they thought. You deserve to hate me, to punish me for what I did to you. But it’s not just me at risk here; it’s so many others who do not deserve what the empire would do to them.

The drinker hauled themself up, cane in hand, and strode as fast as they could to the nearest elevator to take them to Kaningård’s top floor.

Where all visitors were received.

The doors opened with a pleasant ding not long after they’d gotten in, and they gripped their cane tightly as they exited, a pleasant closed-mouth smile on their face. Wouldn’t do to show off their needle-like dentition right now.

She looked over to them, expression pleasant, her choppy chin-length hair so much more gray than when they’d last seen her. Her face had lines it had not shown before. Yet she looked as calm and relaxed as they weren’t, if intrigued and perhaps a little baffled to see them.

It was all normal. Sickeningly normal. 

“Tuuya…?”

Ardoat said in a questioning, almost amused voice.

“Is that you?” She added.

They blinked, then remembered how she had last seen them and chuckled despite their tension.

“Yes, I’m rather bigger than I used to be.” They said with humor, for Ardie had only seen them skinny and with fully black hair. That was three sweeps ago.

Three sweeps that they had, if unintentionally, abandoned her.

“Been through a few knocks.” They remarked, lifting their cane briefly. “But I’m still here, and I…I am sorry.” They said, sagging a bit.

Her face was peaceful. Unsettlingly so.

“It’s fine, Tuuya.” She said. 

Her tone was patient. Encouraging.

“Show me what you’ve done with my old home and we’ll call it even.” She added with a light laugh as she walked over to the elevator. They dutifully followed. 

“I admit - I got here early because I was so excited. But I should still get right to the incubation room; reports to write, you know how it is.”

They nodded.

“Of course. I’m sure you’ve picked up new brooding techniques we could use.”

She waves a hand. “You know I won’t be able to say until I examine the whole facility and see what needs to be done.” She said crisply.

Tuuya twisted up inside, dozens of worms gripping their ribcage; this was what she should have been doing for the hundred-plus sweeps they’d held her captive here.

Instead Ardie’s knowledge had only been good for tutoring Uunive, kept in a light fog so she wouldn’t leave - wouldn’t remember she’d seen worms or a limeblood, wouldn’t tell the empire.

Camouflage for a monster. A tutor for their child.

That was all she’d been for such a long time.

Because they’d put a worm in her head. Controlled her. 

All to keep themself safe.

Tuuya led her to the incubation room, praying the trolls there were ready.

They prayed they were ready.

For they had no idea how to send her away without arousing suspicion. They were trapped.

No harm could come to Ardie without the blame being laid on their head, her blood - literal or metaphorical - on their hands.

Their hunger rose again, but Tuuya had no trouble quashing it.

Guilt easily filled them up instead.

[moyokeansimblr]

tagged by @nervosims ❤️

ooh, tag game!

are you named after anyone? Nope! But the story of my name is that after making huge ass lists of baby girl names that mine was the only one on both my mom's and dad's lists.

when was the last time you cried? Today 😂 I cried when Joker Out/Slovenia qualified to the Eurovision final today. They announced them last and I stopped breathing for a while. I love them so much.

do you have kids? Absolutely not, I can hardly take care of myself.

do you use sarcasm a lot? I do, but my delivery kinda sucks so it seems like I'm being rude sometimes.

what sports do you play/have you played? None. I'm incredibly uncoordinated, clumsy etc. Not an athletic bone in this body.

what’s the first thing you notice about other people? Usually hair, then overall face. But I almost never notice eye color. Personality-wise I notice whether people smile right out the gate or not (because I don't).

eye colour? Beats me, some kind of green-y-gray-y thing. I can't look at eyes or it makes mine hurt is that weird?

scary movies or happy endings? Both I guess? I like psychological horror but not anything that has loud noises/jumpscares etc. And I love feel-good-y stuff.

any special talents? Don't think so. I'm pretty talent-less.

where were you born? Wisconsin, U S of A.

what are your hobbies? Sims, duh. Eurovision, watching Survivor and Love Island (not the US Love Island tho), tarot & astrology, true crime youtube, think that's mostly it.

do you have any pets? I have two cats, named Sophie and Zook.

how tall are you? I think I'm between 5'7 and 5'8 but I slouch a lot because I have that stance of being extremely anxious all the time.

fave subject in school? Geography. Got a degree in it, after all.

dream job? Not a clue honestly, I just want to do something that I can do as much or as little as I want of per day. Not found that yet.

Hmm, this is the first I'm seeing of this so idk who's done it already. I shall tag @episims and @rascalcurious and @kayleigh-83 but feel free to ignore or anyone else who wants to do it go for it!

[monsterritory]

Jazz Anon here again, XD!

I completely understand that you couldn’t reply to it publicly. It was especially…spicy. Somewhat. XD!

I have another one, don’t worry!

Tommy’s a teenaged detective…. Well, he wants to be.

But he’s somewhat of a busybody who sticks his nose into crimes and solves them out of skill and a lot of sheer luck.

Well, this catches the attention of a very secretive and cruel murderer who has a rich double life.

So, now, we have a cat and mouse game. Who will win? Who will get locked away? Will feels get in the way? Will they make things worse for the more morally thoughtful one? Who knows….

Oh! Another thing. Tommy works at a restaurant chain as a waiter….The murderer owns the very lucrative chain.

Your turn. ;3

I see, I see. I like it. So there's a murderer and cooking involved, you say. 

You see, Jazz. During my vacation, I discovered for the very first time what Hannibal is. So... 

[Cracks fingers] 

“Hey detective boy. Caught any criminals lately?” Dream laughed at one of the waiters at his restaurant. 

“Oh, you know me. Working hard and hardly working.” Tommy laughed it off. 

He sometimes wondered if telling his boss about his hobby was a wrong move. But at the very least Dream was the only adult who took his desire to catch villains seriously. At least somewhat seriously. 

“I’m glad you found time to test my new dish in between your investigations.” Dream smiled, setting down his latest culinary invention. “I understand it wasn’t easy, with the recent disappearance of Wilbur Soot.” 

Tommy shrugged, staring at the metal dome over the plate. 

“He was always kinda clumsy and shady. I’m sure he just got drunk and ended up in some ditch again. I’ll find him in no time, and get myself another article to rub in his face.” 

“I’m sure you’ll find him.” Dream cheered, lifting the metal cover and showing Tommy a selection of freshly baked cupcakes. “He meant a lot to you… you two were close, weren’t you?” 

Tommy grabbed a cupcake, inspecting it with his eyes while his mind wandered away, digging up the memories of his friend. 

“Kind of? Wilbur is annoying, but in an older brother kinda way.” He waved his hand, sniffing the cupcake. It smelled salty. 

Dream blinked once, then twice, looking surprised at Tommy’s words. 

“A brother? Oh, I thought you were…” 

“What?” Tommy looked at him. 

Dream shook his head. 

“Sorry. It’s not my place to make assumptions about your relationships. I hope you don’t see it as more than a boss trying to show support for his worker’s life.”

Tommy grimaced, getting what Dream was thinking. 

“Yeah, no, Wilbur is like a brother to me. And I’m gonna tell him a lot of shit once I find him.” 

Tommy bit into the cupcake, giving it a thorough chew, then another. Then his eyes shot wide open. Out of pure politeness, he still forced himself to swallow what he bit. 

“Boss, no offense, but this stuff tastes like ass. What’s in it?” 

Dream laughed at the boy’s reaction, finding it adorable. 

“Just some smoked salmon. This idea came to me in a dream.” 

“Well, it didn’t work out so well in real life.” 

It’s no surprise Tommy felt so confident being so honest with his boss. Dream always told him he valued honesty first and foremost. 

“Really? I thought they were delicious.”

“Nah, if we serve this - we’ll never have another customer again.” 

“I see.” Dream shrugged, grabbing a cupcake for himself. “Then I suppose we can keep this dish between the two of us.” 

“Your embarrassment is safe with me.” Tommy nodded, setting the cupcake down. 

He sat in silence while Dream finished one of his own creations, then addressed the boy again. 

“Again, I apologize for making assumptions about your life. The only way I can justify my interest is by letting you know that if you ever want a day off to go on a date, just give me a word and you’ve got it, kid. I know how important romance is, especially at your age.” 

Tommy’s eyes sparkled with gratitude. He smiled at Dream. 

“You’re a cool boss, you know that?”

“Thank you, I try. So, should I give you a day off this weekend because a cupid has shot an arrow through your heart recently?” 

Tommy stared at the window in the room, looking dreamily at his own reflection in it. 

“Well, there’s this one person… I was going to see them this thursday. It’s gonna be good weather, and I know a good park nearby where I live.” 

Dream’s lips parted in a Cheshire’s cat grin. The little worm was telling him where to find the next salmon all so willingly. 

“What luck. You’re free from your shift this thursday, I’ve just decided. But come to my office next saturday, I think I’ll have a new dish ready by then. And you know the deal, it’s not going on the menu without my favourite waiter’s approval.” 

Tommy laughed at the statement, but thanked Dream profusely for the free day. 

“Sometimes I wonder how you ever came to run a restaurant. You have yet to invent a good dish, and I’ve tried your attempts for years.” 

No hard feelings were hit with that joke, and Tommy went on to complete the rest of his shift. 

Dream watched him leave his office. Then he grabbed the tray of cupcakes and tossed them into the trash can. 

“Guess he didn’t like you like that after all, Wilbur. Oh well. There’s always another mistake he can make, until the day he sees there’s only one perfect contestant for his heart.”

Dream licked his lips, tasting his latest victory. One of many that passed, one of many to come.

"Me."

~ ~ ~

Okay that went a little more romantic than I intended but I do envision Dream pulling a Hannibal and pushing Tommy deeper and deeper into darkness just to see if the boy will come out of it a new person, perfect in Dream's vision.

Or if he'll drown.

But without the stabbing in the end or whatever, I didn't actually watch Hannibal.

[neuvillettes]

chapter one - swallowed in the sea

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ch. warnings: none? just childe trying the steal the show -.-

wc: 2.8K

a/n: this chapter took on a mind of it’s own tbh. rip

it’s another beautiful spring day, just like the one all those years ago. you’re lost in thought as you finish your final duties for the day. it’s been about 5 years now since ningguang found you lounging amongst a field of grass near a small patch of ruins. you had allowed yourself to be nostalgic on that day. after all, it had been about 15 years since you last visited the guili plains.

you’d made sure that none of the archons or adepti would be present but you had forgotten to account for anyone else. it wasn’t common for the mortals to linger around these specific ruins, at least not in the past. one moment you were enjoying the sunlight beaming down on you while you rested your eyes, the next, a shadow was cast over you by a young woman. when you opened your eyes to peer at the figure interrupting your peace, you were faced with a beautiful and fair woman with long pale blonde hair that subtly turns grey at the ends. her eyes a striking red that were kind hearted but also clouded by a ferocity that intrigued you.

ningguang had managed to capture you, an adeptus that had been a lone nomad since you were put back on this world over 200 years ago. she lured you into her, back then small, jade chamber that was nothing more than the size of a room and still earthbound. if it weren’t for the curve of the coastline and the spear-like stones left behind by the geo archon in the distance, you wouldn’t have recognized that you were once again back in liyue harbor. you had scolded yourself, all that effort you’d put into avoiding the main city in the great nation of the geo archon, gone just like that.

you had been roped into becoming one of seven qixing, a head merchant of the city, and a business partner to ningguang. you’ve become exceedingly close with the ambitious tianquan, head spearing most of the construction added to the jade chamber over the years. she has become your partner in crime and closest confidant. if someone could find one of you, the other wasn't too far behind. much like now, just as you were sealing your last task of the day, ningguang walks in looking quite flustered.

“what’s that look for?” you’re suddenly on high alert, it took a lot for ninguang to get rattled like this.

the obviously stressed official sighs. “i’ve been making preparations for the rite of descension and the fatui are sticking their noses into every minute move i make. i can’t imagine what has got them so on edge that their spies are being this clumsy.”

“i’ll have a word with childe. he owes me a dinner, anyway.” you sigh at the thought of interacting with childe. his own energy always managing to suck out all of yours.

“oh? does he now?” ningguang gives you a pointed look and you scoff.

shaking your head as you rise from your seat, “it’s not like that, ning. he’s hardly tolerable on his best days.”

she hums, “whatever you say, lady y/n.” she mocks with a playful tone and you roll your eyes at her yet can’t help but giggle along with her. “lady y/n” is the title childe constantly and flirtatiously insists on calling you. you always wondered how one man- no - one boy, could be so irritating.

“baixiao? can you come in here please?” the secretary quickly scurries in with an alert expression.

the girl bows before speaking. “what can i help you with, my lady?” no matter how many times you’ve told baixiao that the formalities she kept up with you were unnecessary, she still bowed and refused to call you anything other than by your title or proper honorifics. you don’t care for it, being called by a title, having servants and employees bow to you. it all felt far too… traditional, for your liking.

“please deliver a message to the northern bank, stating i require an audience with childe at 6pm sharp at the liuli pavilion. on your way back make sure to confirm my reservation as well as inform them that i will be having a guest.” you jot down a quick letter for baixiao to deliver and hand it to her sealed.

“i will deliver this right away and inform you of the fatui’s response upon my return.” she bows once more before slipping out in a hurry.

you look at ningguang with a tired expression. “and here i thought i was going to have a peaceful meal to myself tonight.”

“i’ll make it up to you. tomorrow night i will cook us your favorite, qiankun mora meat.” your friend smiles at you brightly and you relax.

you offer her a smile and roll your eyes playfully. “we both know it’s only my favorite when you make it. of all your talents, you still manage to be one of the best cooks i know. i envy your skills in the kitchen.”

“please, they’re nothing special. it’s a hobby, we all need one.” ningguang gives you a pointed look. you shift your weight uncomfortably, knowing she’s referring to your habit of working more than necessary and hardly ever leaving time to enjoy yourself. it was clear you were hiding from something. but you could never bring yourself to tell ningguang the whole truth, no matter how close the two of you had become.

she knew about you being an adeptus, she’d figured that one out on her own, but you never told her about your past. she doesn’t know anything beyond the time the two of you met by chance that day on the fields amidst the ruins. ningguang was okay with that, she didn’t push you to tell her what was going on, but she also encouraged you to do other things. things that involved you exploring liyue and that was something you just couldn’t bring yourself to do.

not only did liyue remind you of what you had lost, but it also reminded you that you could run the risk of meeting the one person you had spent this entire lifetime avoiding. it was too risky for you to get acquainted with the people in the nation of contracts. they would start to talk about you, knowing that you were one of the seven qixing. you knew morax would have his interest piqued by a new adeptus that managed to avoid his presence. he would be able to put the pieces together easily after that. that wasn’t something you were willing to chance.

so, unlike ningguang, you stayed in the shadows much like the other qixing. the other six of you kept a low profile, moving quietly, making deals and orders covertly. it was easy when most eyes were on the tianquan. it was a clause of yours, you told ning that if she took eyes off of you, made people believe that she was the more interesting of the two, you would help her nation. the decision was easy for her. people had already begun talking about her, what were a few more people, a few more rumors?

“you know how i feel about going out and being in the public’s eye. i am perfectly content with the day-to-day minutiae of my life.” you give her a genuine smile. “thank you for your concern, though, ning. i will still try to get out more.”

you both make idle conversation until baixiao’s scurrying back to you with an update. upon her return, baixiao informs you that childe has accepted your dinner invitation. you check the time then excuse yourself, you only have about 3 quarters of an hour left to freshen up. you put on one of your simpler outfits. when going out in public you always went out of your way to blend in, keep a low profile. you didn’t need any unnecessary attention drawn to yourself. that’s why you always made sure to meet childe in private.

being a fatui higher rank, childe had a habit of drawing attention to himself. he even welcomed it more often than not. the first time you met with the flamboyant official, you were lucky enough to be inside of liuli pavilion. he tried to insist on taking you back to the jade chamber himself but you quickly declined, learning fast that he was mostly show.

it didn’t take you long after that first meeting to gather information on the alleged eleventh fatui harbinger. it was just a rumor of course, inklings of what he was and how deep his ties ran with the nation of snezhnaya. after that, however, you knew this man was someone you needed to keep both close and at arms length. he could be useful, but that came with the possibility of him becoming interested in you and your past.

as you make your descent down from the chamber, to the city, you remind yourself to stay composed. childe is one of very few people who knows how to rattle you and he knew that. you’ve learned how to take special care when talking or even moving around the sly man-child. you purposely arrive at the venue 15 minutes early, yet somehow, childe still manages to beat you.

you’re greeted by a head of red hair and a deceivingly charming smile. “you’re late, lady y/n.”

“childe. How many times do i have to tell you to just call me ‘y/n’? and i’m not late. you’re early. to spite me, i presume.” you raise a brow at him in contempt.

childe chuckles as he rises from his seat to pull out the seat at the head of the table, next to him, for you to sit. “presumptuous as always, y/n. i was taught that it’s rude to keep a lady waiting and i know you prefer to show up early to most meetings. i was just being courteous.”

“you? courteous? i never would’ve guessed since you tend to usually have the personality of a wild fox.” despite your harsh words you mumble a gratitude for childe’s chivalrous action.

you watch the man closely as he takes his own seat. something was different about him today. he usually has a charming smile that reaches his eyes and a straight, proud, posture. today however, in addition to the genuine smile, that glint in his eyes was particularly bright and he was a bit more relaxed in his posture, his hair also looked a bit unkempt, more-so than usual anyways. something in you was curious as to what had him so chipper.

as much as you hated to admit it, you had grown fond of the odd friendship you’d grown with the man-child. he was one of very few that was able to banter with you, no restraints. it was refreshing. and although, cunning, you do admire childe’s intelligence. he knew how to play a game of chess with real people, and he knew how to win it almost every time. you were the exception in his mind. after all this time he couldn’t quite get close enough to you to claim a check mate.

you were an anomaly to childe. closed off more so than himself. but where he had formulated a playful and carefree facade, you had closed yourself off entirely. putting up impenetrable walls that were monitored carefully. it made you come off as cold and uninterested. childe knew better than that, having gotten to know you, he found himself looking forward to your time together. more often than not, letting his mind wander to the thought of you. though he would never admit that to himself, let alone anyone else.

childe feigns hurt as he mockingly clutches the left side of his chest and displays a pained expression. “you wound me with your cruel words.”

“don’t be so dramatic. you’re embarrassing yourself.”

“like knives, your words stab my heart.” he lets out a gasped sigh.

with a smirk you retort, “maybe if you weren’t so sensitive, my words wouldn’t affect you so.”

“i am not sensitive.” childe pouts, furrowing his brow in defense.

you’re not sure what it is but childe seemed more…theatrical than normal. further concluding that something about him was different today. unbeknownst to you, it was all your doing. childe hadn’t expected to see you but was pleasantly surprised when he received your invitation. his mood had instantly shifted from indifferent to joyous at the drop of a coin. he radiated enthusiasm and you could pick up on it.

“whatever you say, childe. you’re in a particularly good mood by the way. what’s the reason?”

you’d done it now. you gave him the perfect opportunity to tease you, and of course, childe was going to take it. “isn’t it obvious? ‘m happy to see you, y/n.”

your eyes widen and you feel your face heat up into a blush. you shake yourself out of your shock with your brows furrowed and eyes narrowed. “s-shut up. you're so ridiculous.” your eyes soften but there’s still a crease between your brows as your bottom lip protrudes out slightly. you were pouting, and it takes all of childe’s willpower not to coo at how precious he thought you looked at this very moment.

“am i now? i thought i was just telling the truth.”

you scoff. “don’t toy with me, childe. either way, we have a matter to attend to.”

“oh? and what is that?” he perks up, interest piqued.

“your agents are being sloppy. ningguang is already under a considerable amount of stress and your spies aren’t helping. she can sense their presence with every move she makes. it’s suffocating. do something about it.” you’re previous playful demeanor is gone, replaced by a stern tone and face.

childe’s eyebrows shoot up. “i forget how perceptive the tianquan is. i’m surprised though, you’re not bothered by the fact i have agents tracking her?”

you shake your head gently. “ningguang didn’t seem bothered by it, as long as she isn’t aware of it much like she is now, what right would i have to be if she isn’t?”

“that’s very diplomatic of you, tianji.”

you roll your eyes. “it is my job to be so. now shut up. you know how i feel about being addressed by my title, especially by people i’m close to.” you flinch, immediately regretting your words when you see the look on the red-head’s face.

“ ‘m honored, y/n. i consider us quite close as well. good friends. and as good friends…” childe’s eyes relax and his lips curl into a mischievous smile, “ i feel as though you should spend the day with me tomorrow roaming the city.”

“no. absolutely not.” you declare without missing a beat and cross your arms over your chest in defiance.

“ah, c’mon now, tianji. when was the last time you truly let yourself relax and enjoyed the city below you?”

you huff as you looked away in embarrassment.

“hold on- have you never….”

your head whips back to look at childe sharply. still refusing to confirm that you had never visited liyue harbor beyond liuli pavilion, at least not in this lifetime.

“it’s settled then. i’ll make sure that the spies i send out are being as discreet as possible in exchange for a day out with you.”

“what makes you think i would agree to such a ridiculous trade off?”

childe leans back in his chair, smile exceptionally arrogant, annoyingly so as a matter of fact. “because, lady y/n, i know how much you care for lady ningguang. these are my terms. if you wish to reject, well then my agents will continue to closely follow the tianquan around.”

your jaw tightens and you grind your teeth to prevent yourself from verbally lashing out at childe. you weigh your options. you couldn’t, with good conscience, continue to let the fatui put further stress on your friend when you had the means to change it. you curse your kind hearted nature and willingness to do anything for the ones you cared about.

you let out a defeated sight and let your arms drop from your chest. “fine. tomorrow we will spend the day in the city as you requested. but you will be paying for everything.”

it was just one day, you told yourself. you couldn’t imagine that you could get into any trouble being in the city for one day. no one knew who you were physically, being known as the faceless qixing. only a select few knew what you looked like, the others of the seven and childe being the beginning and end of the list. who knows? it could even end up being enjoyable.

“perfect, i’ll make all the arrangements, so you have nothing to worry about.”

like childe said, you had nothing to worry about. right?

taglist: @kaeyaphoria | @arozaur | @bxnten | @dear-xiao | @sano-obsessed | @cosmotoic | @katsulovee | {7/50}

[plus-size-reader]

Weird

Stu Macher x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2755 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Stu developing a little bit of a thing for Randy’s coworker at the video store

Just a weird little thing my brain cooked up, with not too much intricate plot to speak of. 

—————————————————————————————————

He’d been staring at you for an hour.

If he didn’t knock it off soon, Stu was sure that it would start to get creepy but he couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t like he could just walk right up to you and start a conversation.

You probably wouldn’t even recognize him.

Besides, Stu wasn’t a super good conversationalist to begin with. He always got tongue tied and made inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times. There was no telling how it would go, especially with you.

Stu’d had his eye on you all this time, and while he had never had trouble making friends, it was different with you.

All he could do was walk around the aisles of the video store, doing his best to look busy as he browsed the video selection.

He had always liked movies, and wasted away plenty of  night watching tapes with his friends but as of late, the movies had little to nothing to do with his frequent visits to the Woodsboro rental, and everything to do with you.

At first, it was innocent.

One night while he and Billy were looking for a couple blockbusters to occupy their time, he noticed you behind the counter where he typically would have found Randy.

It should have ended there, but because Stu was Stu, of course it didn’t.

The next day at school, he had given his strangest friend the third degree about who the hottie in his place was and found out that you were new.

Randy didn’t know too much about you, other than the fact that you chewed gum the entire time you were on the floor and that your favorite movie was Frankenstein. 

It was hardly enough to get to know a person, but it seemed to appease the man enough to end the barrage of questions.

At least for a while.

It wasn’t until he came in six or seven times without his partner in crime that Randy started to get suspicious over just what Stu thought he was doing here. 

After all, he had a girlfriend, a very hot girlfriend, who he could be spending time with instead of stalking you at work.

Not that he actually went out of his way to ask the blonde right away.

While his being there so frequently definitely looked weird, there were plenty of explanations for what Stu could have been doing, and in all honesty, he kind of freaked Randy out.

Besides, if all he wanted to do was look through the VHS tapes, there wasn’t really anything he could do about it. Billy and Stu were both good customers and as long as they kept renting movies, it was all good.

If you just so happened to be there when he came in, that was just how it was.

After all, you worked there so you were bound to be there pretty often. That meant that, coupled with the amount of time Stu and Billy spent there looking for good stuff to watch, you were bound to run into them quite a bit.

There were a lot of regulars.

Woodsboro was a relatively small town and you got familiar with people’s faces, especially those you saw all the time, but that didn’t mean you really knew them. You had begun to recognize Randy’s friends, but they were little more than that to you.

Maybe that was why you seemed to be so oblivious to Stu’s constant attention on you. To you, he was just another customer, one that you were even less familiar with then most of the others because Randy handled all of their business.

You very rarely even interacted with them at all.

Not to mention that you were extra busy tonight with the murders and all that. The residents of this town had taken that terrible act as inspiration to have their own blood-soaked horror movie nights in the comfort of their own homes.

There were so many people here tonight that you weren't even sure you would have had time to notice any individual person at all.

You may not have had time, but Randy certainly did and he’d had enough.

Not only was what Stu was doing inappropriate because he had a girlfriend, but it just made Randy feel kind of weird. You were a really cool person, sometimes Stu would have known if he ever bothered to say hello to you, and you didn’t deserve to be gawked at while you were trying to work.

“You’ve been looking at that for a while, you need help deciding?” Randy asked, less than subtly catching Stu in the middle of his ogling, not that the latter seemed to care in the least. Randy worked with you all the time, surely he saw what Stu saw.

You were hot.

That wasn’t his fault.

All he did was notice.

“Nah man, I’m good” he hummed, even going as far as to wink at Randy, making it painfully obvious that he knew exactly what he knew. There was nothing wrong with checking out a cute girl, and if anything, he assumed that Randy was just jealous.

After all, Stu was sure that he hadn’t made a move on you yet.

“You know Y/N’s a person right? you could just go talk to her” Randy scoffed, snatching the tape from Stu before he could argue.

This whole thing had been going on for too long and it was starting to get ridiculous.

Stu didn’t say anything for a second as he thought over what Randy was proposing. It couldn’t have hurt to actually talk to you, even with as nice as just staring at you for the last hour or so had been.

There was a small chance Billy wouldn’t like it, with the threat it would pose to their long con it would pose, but when the blonde glanced over at his friend to find him chatting up a few girls of his own, he made up his mind.

It wasn’t like talking to you would be the end of the world or something. It was just a conversation and it was like Randy said, you were a person after all.

You had been stacking VHS tapes on the displays around the store for the last few hours, filling in gaps here and there, and by this point, it was like muscle memory. You didn’t really think about it as you put each case on the wall, hardly paying attention to your surroundings.

This was just supposed to be a job to help pass the time and give you a little bit more walking around money, and you didn’t get paid enough to cater to every customer's every need.

That kind of thing was much more up Randy’s alley, who treated this job like the greatest thing to ever happen to him. If someone had a question about a movie, you pointed them in his direction and kept on stacking.

...but that wasn’t always going to work.

Out of nowhere, you heard someone clear their throat behind you, too close to be directed at anyone that wasn’t you.

Naturally, having worked here for a while, you assumed that it was just someone with a question about where to find something and turned around. Helping people find the things they were looking for was literally your only job, after all.

What you could have never expected was Stu Macher, standing there with an almost expectant grin on his face.

“Can I help you find something?” you asked, practically reciting from the script you were given when you were hired here. He was probably looking for some movie full of Jamie Lee flashing her tits, just like every other guy around here was.

Whatever it was he needed though, he needed to get to it.

You had to restock all of these shelves with titles from the back, a task that would surely keep you here until midnight anyway. 

The longer he took to get to the point, the more behind you would be.

Besides, it wasn’t like he needed you specifically for that. He could have just as easily asked Randy for whatever horny horror fest he was searching for.

Not that such a simple idea had struck Stu in all the time he’d been here, doing whatever it was he was doing.

“I’m actually just looking,” he hummed, shrugging in a way that should have sent him back to where he had previously been browsing, if it hadn’t been for the fact that it was a complete and total lie. 

Stu was only here for one reason, and one reason alone.

He had to make a move.

If he didn’t, it was becoming clear that Randy was thinking about it and there was just no way the blonde was going to let that happen.

“You come here often?” he tried after a few seconds, letting himself lean a bit over you, consuming all the space that your height didn’t occupy.

It was quite the line, you had to give him that, not that it was anything other than awkward given his clumsy, goofy delivery and the dopey look on his face.

He wanted to be cool about this whole thing, and to come off mysterious and suave, like Billy always did, but it wasn’t working. Obviously, because as soon as he said it, you laughed.

You actually laughed.

It was hardly the reaction Stu had been expecting from you, or any guy could have expected under the circumstances, but he assumed it was better than you just shutting him down right off the bat.

At least if you were laughing, you weren’t walking away.

“What?” he laughed, an almost unsettled edge to his desperate attempt to salvage any part of this interaction. Given all the time that he’d had to prepare for what exactly it was he was going to say to you, it should have been much better than that.

...but you had to give him some credit.

As awkward as this was, he put himself out there in a way that took a lot of courage, courage that most guys around here didn’t have. Normally, they would just make some crude attempt at sexualizing you then call you fat when you rejected it.

Stu was already vastly ahead of the douchebags you were used to.

“Nothing, that's just much more of a line than I was expecting, Randy put you up to it?” you questioned, catching sight of the way the male in question was gawking over at the two of you, not even bothering to pretend he wasn’t snooping.

It wouldn’t have surprised you if he set it all up to be funny, but Stu didn’t seem to find the same understanding. In fact, he was almost insulted by the idea of what you were suggesting. Like he couldn't just hit on a pretty girl without a reason?

He’d done it plenty of times before without cause.

“Nah, I just wanted to get to know you a little better” he shrugged, continuing to talk even as you leaned down to gather a few of the movies from the storage boxes, headed to the rom com section to stock them on the shelves.

It was sweet, in a strange way.

He was really weird, you couldn’t act like he wasn’t, but there was also something about him that was almost endearing.

“Well, I’m a captive audience until six so ask away” you allowed, a small smile on your face as you tried to focus on doing your job while also maintaining a conversation with the man in front of you. You were trying really hard to keep it as professional as possible, but it wasn’t exactly easy.

After all, he was laying it on pretty thick, making it overly clear just how interested in you he was even though he was trying to convey an air of casualness.

“Okay, what’s your favorite movie?” came Stu’s voice again, accompanied by the tapping of his fingers on the shelf.

You thought over his question for a second or so, doing your best to figure out what he wanted you to say before you decided to just go with it. Talking to Stu wasn’t the worst thing you would have to do today, and based on how it was going, it might actually help pass the time.

At least he was entertaining.

“It depends on what genre you’re looking at, I guess. I like all kinds of stuff” you decided, standing up briefly to find him leaning over the shelf separating the two of you, his face in his hand.

If nothing else, he certainly seemed to be pretty enthralled with this conversation.

It was something you didn’t get super often, and it would be a lie to say that it didn’t feel nice to have someone so interested in every single word that fell from your lips.

It was no wonder he was so popular.

“I’ve always been a horror guy myself. Like any of those?” he asked, tapping his fingers gingerly on the shelf as he spoke, syncing up his words rather nicely as he grinned at you. He was hoping, not so secretly, that you did.

As much as he was clearly attracted to you, his obsession with gore was a big part of Stu’s life and he didn’t want to miss out on it in any way.

It would just be a huge bonus if you liked watching them with him, so that you could watch them together for date nights and stuff.

It would be a good time, not to mention the fact that he and Billy only ever really did that.

“Yeah, I do. That’s actually why I started working here” you informed, thinking about just how quickly you had applied for this job once you found out they were hiring. Of all the places you could work in this town, it just felt like the place.

It was perfect.

“That’s great, I was hoping you'd say that” Stu allowed, smiling at you as he thought about it. All in all, this was going a lot better than he could have ever assumed and now that he knew he could check the horror block with you too, he was thrilled.

You couldn't have been more perfect for him.

“Maybe we could watch some sometime, at my folks place?” he offered, a twinkle in his eye as he finally got to the point that he’d been waiting for all this time.

The two of you had never really had a conversation alone before now, because his friends were always tagging along. However, it wasn’t as if he’d made too bad a first impression, as strange as he was.

You were kind of lost as to what could have brought this on so suddenly but watching a movie or two at his house couldn’t have been the end of the world.

He was harmless, and besides, it could have been fun to get to know him better.

You stopped, straightening up to look him in the face, that same sly grin there that he hadn’t been able to wipe off his face in this entire time.

“Yeah, we can do that. You can just get my number from Randy and call sometime” you smiled, turning back away to finish up the last of the box from the back. The sooner you finished this up, the sooner you could start cleaning up from the rush.

For you, it was a simple enough suggestion. Randy and the rest of your coworkers all had your telephone number and seeing as they were pretty close, it would just be easier for him to get it there. 

If your manager found out you were flirting on the job, you would never hear the end of it.

Though, for Stu, it was far less innocent. He had only really just interacted with you in this new way but now that he had, he wasn’t exactly a huge fan of Randy already having your number.

Especially not knowing how much the male in question likes you.

“Cool, cool, I’ll talk to you later then” Stu nodded, turning around to find Randy still watching intently. He seemed to really think that he had a shot but now that Stu had made up his mind, there was no way he was ever going to let that happen.

You were too good for him to just let you go so easily.

[erika-being-erika]

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Summary:

When Petra was promoted to a detective and partnered up with legendary Levi Ackerman, she felt like the happiest person in the world.

But, as she soon found out, detective Ackerman she used to admire so much was actually a far cry from the ideal policeman Petra thought he was. He was rude, harsh and easily annoyed.

And, in addition, he still hadn’t moved on from the death of his previous partner - detective Hange Zoe.

• can't keep my hands off you by fanmoose12

[Multi-chap || completed]

Summary:

Hange, Levi and their not so secret relationship.

• Looking for You by fanmoose12

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Returning from a long mission, all Levi wanted was to spend sometime with Hange. But instead he got a message from Erwin, urging him to come to HQ. There he found out, that Hange was missing for over a week and that his new mission is to partner with Moblit, Hange's loyal assistant, and together find and bring Hange home.

• A Tale of Two Slaves by TundrainAfrica

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

"Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn't exist. Everything's a choice. And Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him."

Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn't.

• Free-Falling by djmarinizela

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Skydiver and tea shop owner Levi Ackerman meets the town’s resident mad scientist and tries to convince himself that he's not falling for her.

• All of Me by MannaTea

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

By the time they reached the trees, Sylvia's sides were heaving, her flanks covered in sweat-foam, but they couldn't afford to stop; two titans had become more. Hange refused to look behind her, but she could tell by the way the ground shook that one of them was at least a 13-meter class.

And all she had with her was one blade and a horse who was about to drop dead of exhaustion.1

• Dreams May Not Come True by MannaTea

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Levihan. Hange knows something is wrong when she goes down to breakfast one morning and the smell makes her stomach churn.

• Something Like Destiny by MannaTea

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Reincarnation AU. Zoë doesn't have dreams; she just knows.

• A Dangerous Game by just_quintessentially_me

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

A snk 1920′s AU:

Sina is wild, crowded, bursting with industry. Home to jazz, fashion - and corruption. Crooked politicians, dirty police, and powerful gangs have turned the city into a cesspit of violence where the powerful rule. At the center of the chaos are the Ackermans - one of the most powerful gangs in the city, Mayor Fritz - who is as corrupt as he is wealthy, Erwin - a police commander determined to weed out the corruption in his own department, and Hanji - a journalist willing to risk everything to expose their city’s darkest secrets.

• A Simple Choice by just_quintessentially_me

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

The rain had started up again. Fat droplets drummed over her hood, drenching the fabric. Her horse’s reins were wet and cold; though her fingers, numbed from continued exposure to the elements, could hardly feel them.

Following the sound of the explosion, they’d arrived at a clearing. It was a mess of blackened, shattered wood, and the wagon, a skeleton, was little more than a smoking husk. Beyond the wreckage, a titan lay prostrate. Felled, its limp, hulking form was barely visible through the rain.

As soldiers shouted, pointing at the creature, one of the horses still tethered to the ruined wagon, writhed. When the beast screamed a broken, panicked wail, her own horse shifted, flanks twitching with unease.

Hanji barely noticed.

The soldiers' voices, the poor beast’s screams, even the heavy, even thrum of rain - had silenced as she looked to the river.

A body lay at the edge of the dark, white-capped water.

• License to Science (And Kill) by just_quintessentially_me

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

When International criminal organization, TITAN, successfully steals an arsenal of missiles along with their encrypted launch codes, Code Blue is initiated. It up to Agent Levi Ackerman, a spy in a class of his own, and Research scientist Hanji Zoe, the premiere authority on the organization, to halt a global catastrophe in its tracks.

She lowered her glasses, brown eyes blinking over the rims. “Does this mean I have a-” One brow lifted. “License to Science?”

“No. But I do have a License to Kill. Don’t tempt me to use it.”

• Aftermath by just_quintessentially_me

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Levi rushes to the wall in the aftermath of the Armored and Colossal Titans' attack.

“Are you worried about your wife?”

The question shocked him out of his musings.

Levi looked up, “My what?”

But the pastor was already speaking, “You’re obviously beside yourself with stress – and it’s understandable. Not knowing if your wife has survived-”

Levi cut him off, “My what?”

The pastor hesitated, apparently realizing he’d made some mistake, but misunderstanding precisely what it was. “Your…wife? The woman we traveled with before? She’s ah – forceful. You two uh – have the same, er – strident personality. When we first met, she dangled me off the wall.”

• Terrible Things by someonestolemyshoes

[One-shot]

Summary:

The first time he tells her she’s pretty, Hange is all kinds of filthy - sweaty, dirty, twigs in her hair and mud on her shoes and a great big disgusting ball of everything Levi hates.

She is also crying.

It isn’t like he’s never seen her cry before - they’re nine and crying is just what kids do, especially kids like Hange who like to play with things they probably shouldn’t play with and like to climb trees even though they’re kind of clumsy and so the crying, in it’s self, isn’t all that weird.

What’s weird is that Hange - Hange, with her print-smudged glasses and ratty ponytail and clothes two sizes too big for her - is crying because a boy called her ugly.

• Acquiescence by 3LevisInATrenchcoat

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

On Judgement Day, the tide brought someone strange.

• My soulmate by a_golden_hearted_snk_fan

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

When your soulmate gets injured or hurt, their injuries show up on your skin with a slight sting then slowly fade. It was a rare thing to occur, but Levi and Hanji were the lucky ones.

• SOS by djmarinizela

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Levi is a reclusive senior student who shares an apartment with Mike, Nanaba, and his best friend, Hange, who he's secretly in love with. Oddly enough, they also belong to the same secret club with a special operations squad. The 104th cohort is a bunch of freshmen misfits they've taken under their wing, Moblit is Hange's lab partner also vying for her affections, while Erwin’s the newest instructor who doesn’t know how to teach. And they say school is fun.

• the moon is dark by alteirkay

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

His face was wet.

“What the hell?” He murmured touching his face to see if he was mistaken. He was not. His hair was damp with sweat. There was an uneasiness invading his whole body. He was filled with it like he had drunk it straight from a bottle. His chest was heavy, his breaths were uneven, and his right eye was throbbing like a hammer was hitting at it continuously.

He was feeling like he had just lost someone.

• The Experiment by KakashiSensei

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

After a public brawl between them, Commander Erwin confines Captain Levi and Zoë Hange to barracks. When the Survey Corps next heads out, they are left behind as a punishment. Soon bored out of her mind, Hange turns her scientific curiosity towards the most interesting specimen within her reach: Levi. When his past reaches out to him to claim him back, she joins him on a dangerous journey. Do budding feelings have a chance in the most desolate of places?

• windmill by alteirkay

[One-shot]

Summary:

Here is the thing about Levi, his heart is a windmill in the middle of a wilderness where there was no wind to make it twirl, there was no wind to make it beat, pound and feel. Just feel.

Until one day he got hit by a storm so wild, so rare and so incredibly terrifying but in the most beautiful and breath-taking way that it left him defenceless, vulnerable and weak. Like a tiny little flower which had long passed its day of blossoming in a fierce, winter dawn yet it stood erect with its fragile body, challenging against the merciless winds and the brutal frost.

He fell in love.

• In Your Shoes by Neighborhood_Nori

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary

Levi, Paradis Studio's strict ballet instructor, can't stand the newly hired hip-hop instructor, Hanji. As a ballet dancer with his own complicated history with hip-hop, Levi only has respect for the more refined forms of dance. Can Hanji change his mind about her and her style of dance through determination, persistence, and her passion for dance?

• Distractions by Rookblonkorules

[One -shot]

Summary:

Hange’s love for pop culture interferes with her and Levi’s work.

It’s annoying.

• Leave You Whole. by zerothecreator

[One-shot]

Summary:

Levi spends his last moments in Hangë’s arms.

• Moments by Anonymous

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Levihan Modern AU

She's a long-legged, sun-kissed beauty with tattoos in hidden places and multiple piercings.

Her leather jacket's on his bedroom floor, her ripped jeans too and she's pretty sure one of her heeled scarlet boots got left in the living room in their haste last night. At least her glasses are on top of the bedside drawer- they managed that, at least.

• more baby snacks by argethara

[One-shot]

Summary:

Levi tries to find out how and why boxes of Udo's biscuits are gone.

• Anniversary by EllePellano

[One-shot]

Summary:

AU One-shot: Erwin and Levi have a short conversation about the woman they both loved

• All We Are by TundrainAfrica

[One-shot]

Summary:

"We’re what’s left of the old survey corps Levi. We’re all alone.”

“We can’t be alone if there’s two of us.”

“So what do you suggest Captain Levi?”

“We stick together…” Levi answered. “We stick together, Commander Hange.”

During the time skip, Hange and Levi's relationship develops.

• Thin Ice by Xenobia

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Takes place between events in chapter 90 of the manga. Hange, now commander of Survey Corps, commissions Captain Levi to scout territory in the mountains to search for a supply tower she believes may still be stocked. The scouts need all the supplies and currency they can get in order to carry on with their goals. Against his better judgment, Levi joins her on this excursion. The bitter, early winter makes their mission harder than expected, however. The pair find themselves relying on each other to survive, and they find it increasingly difficult to treat one another as comrades in arms and nothing more.

• Hidden Meanings by WhatHistoryForgets

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Hange never thought a materialistic item could mean so much to her until she lost it.

• Of teacups and stale bread

[One-shot]

Summary:

Five times Hange prepared tea for Levi, and the one time that he did.

• Unintended Consequence(s) by Ella3982

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Not all of the Anti-Personnel Control Squad died when the cavern collapsed. Some of them escaped through the tunnel Hange, Moblit, and Armin used. When the two parties meet, the Anti-Personnel Control Squad takes the three Survey Corps members hostage with the intent to force the Survey Corp's hand. However, when they find out that Kenny Ackerman has died, they become more desperate.

If the Uprising Arc had ended a bit differently, how would it alter the course of the story? What would change, and what would stay the same?

• A Fire in the Shadows by free_pancakes

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

LeviHan in an Avatar the Last Airbender AU - a side story occurring alongside the events of ATLA

Levi, the nephew of a fire nation captain, stumbles upon a ragtag group of 5 known as the Scouts, formidably known for foiling the plans of local fire nation control, living in the forests a few miles north of Ba Sing Se.

• Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)

Summary:

A collection of drabbles and oneshots exploring a sexual relationship between Levi and Hanji.

• Tips & Tricks by Sleepyheadven

[One-shot]

Summary:

Eren’s brow was furrowed forward in confusion as he spoke. “I thought you said that staring at people isn’t nice?” He said after a few moments, gathering his thoughts. He seemed genuinely bewildered as to why she was intensely staring down a stranger when she had told him countless times before that it was impolite to do so.

Oh, lord, was her only thought as she quickly scrambled for an excuse. “I - Uh - well, sometimes people stare at other people because -” before she could even begin to form a proper sentence, Eren interjected. She wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or dismayed by his actions.

“Is it because you think he’s cute? My friend Ymir stares at my friend Krista that way all the time, she says it’s because she’s so pretty!” Eren babbled happily, oblivious to the way Hange’s grip around the handle of the cart tightened. Her brown eyes darted back and forth between the stranger and her son, hoping that he couldn’t overhear their conversation seeing as Eren wasn’t the softest of speakers.

• A drunk man always tells the truth by krissixh

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Levi finds out that Hanji is engaged to a rich man. He gets drunk that night and confronts her his feelings. The two have to confront a lot of difficulties to be able to end as a couple.

• Relapses by Oreotragus

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Despite having become a great asset to humankind, Captain Levi still has some trouble adjusting to his post-crime lifestyle, especially the social aspects of it. One extremely badly coordinated step out of his comfort zone creates a grand mess that he has to clean up.

• Weight of Survival by otterbeans

[One-shot]

Summary:

Hanji gives birth to Levi's unintentional child. She pretends to be surprised when he shows up for it.

• Don't drink the kool-aid by smallblip

[One-shot]

Summary:

Think of a number between one and ten. Because that's how you love in this world. First you toss out the word love. You tell it to its face that Commander Erwin Smith says “love is the ultimate cult of men... A sect... A dirty ploy by the whatever god is up there to make us all vulnerable..."

And then, everything falls into place.

• until another thursday evening by pinkweirdsunsets

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

and ever since they were only five, Levi had protected her, whether it was from the daily shenanigans she came up with or the criminal background he came from. She was his sunshine, messy and grinning, and he shielded her away from all terrible things.

until zeke yeager came along.

• Make It Make Sense! By cznpai

[Multi-chapt || completed]

I can't add the summary cause I've reached the limit. Welp i still have a lot of fics here so ill make a another post of reccomendations... HAHA bye!

[mangora]

What is your gen 1 swap Au? I loved your gen 2 one :)

Sorry this took so long I drafted it and forgot to finish it anyways thank you so much! And honestly I haven’t thought abt it much until now, I actually came up with my gen 2 au because I saw so much cool stuff for different gen 1 aus and couldn’t find any for gen 2. Here’s my rough idea for one:

Owen: Swapped with Heather, the Queen King Bee. Uses his charismatic fun party guy persona to get people to trust him and see him as non-threatening, then uses it to win and get whoever he wants voted out. Does it to make a point about how they should be there for fun or smth

Gwen: Swapped with Cody, the try-hard ladies-woman with a cute dorky personality. A huge geek about horror films and anything macabre, a loner to seem intriguing but can be genuinely nice if she wants to be

Heather: Swapped with Beth, the wannabe popular girl, often tries to bully others but it hardly has a punch. Great at standing up for herself, and yoyoing.

Duncan: Swapped with Sierra, the criminal super fan. Known to do dubiously immoral things to find out more about his crime idols, can be mean but is so bubbly about it that it’s hard to call him out. Eccentric but intimidating.

Leshawna: Swapped with Harold, the defensive dork. Super passionate about her interests and loyal to those who understand her or let her geek out about stuff. Often picked on for her short fuse, but incredibly smart and motivated

Geoff: Swapped with Izzy, the crazy party animal. Will do anything on a dare and goes all out in whatever he does. Extremely sporadic but somehow charming, even if it goes to his head

DJ: Swapped with Courtney, the high-strung boy with a heart of gold. Gets incredibly stressed about not being the nicest and most moral person he can be, which ironically can make him seem pushy and way too ahead of the charge

Lindsay: Swapped with Ezekiel, the socially-inept princess. Often offensive or mean because shes been taught she’s entitled to whatever she wants. Knows how to play dirty, but is often afraid to get the dirt on her hands and tries to get others to help (hardly works)

Bridgette: Swapped with Eva, the hot-tempered surfer. Extremely mean even if she tries not to be, which leads her to mostly avoid people. Spends most of her time surfing to stay out of the limelight and avoid losing her marbles

Trent: Swapped with Sadie, the cute guy’s best friend. Mostly passive, but passionate about his best friend, Justin. Has a lot of repressed anger, and learns to stand up for himself and those he grows to love

Harold: Swapped with Duncan, the intense nerd. Intensely dedicated to his research and science, but refuses to abide by rules or standards and hates big science heads. A rogue educator who isn’t afraid to tell you why he’s right and you’re wrong

Courtney: Swapped with Geoff, the party planner. Constantly trying to map out events and social circles to a T, builds a whole web to make herself popular and feel loved. Appears pretty chill but occasionally cracks under pressure and gets cocky

Sadie: Swapped with Trent, the cool girl. Excitable and fun to be around, loves to talk about her favorite music and such with her friends. Very affable but can get passive aggressive if you rag on her

Beth: Swapped with Bridgette, the chill art kid. An artist that spends most of her time clinging to others to ride to the top. Pretty afraid to step in during conflict, and often runs away or hides because she hates it. Eventually learns to be more assertive and tries to better people, even if it isn’t always appreciated

Cody: Swapped with Gwen, the oddball goth. A taunting and flirty but awkward outcast that can’t stand up for himself. Not very skilled but nonetheless philanthropic

Izzy: Swapped with Tyler, the crazy jock. Always hyped up to challenge others and win games, goes was too far most of the time though. Clumsy and chaotic, but very fun and entertaining to watch. Your run-of-the-mill steroid-driven track star until she says something incredibly bonkers out of left field, like admitting she slashed someone’s tires and running away.

Tyler: Swapped with DJ, the clumsy sweetheart. Super strong and accidentally breaks things a lot without trying, but very sweet to animals and pretty girls. Overly-confident in his ability to help which can cause some problems

Katie: Swapped with Justin, the eye candy. Incredibly attractive but can be underhanded, never would be around those she cares about though (even if she might talk a little shit). Not exactly the smartest, but a good follower and can carry through with a plan

Justin: Swapped with Katie, the cute guy. A sweet skater-boy sort of type that gets the attention of everyone around him. Can be loud and obnoxious at times, and can’t go anywhere without his best friend to help, but knows how to use his charm if needed

Noah: Swapped with Alejandro, the charmer. A snooty and clever charismatic who can convince anyone of anything, and orchestrate the downfall of anyone who he can’t. Too bad he hates doing the work to go with it. Incredibly observant, but not always socially well-versed, and incredibly stubborn

Eva: Swapped with Owen, the funniest girl around. Always looking to do crazy stunts and show off her strength for fun. Can be very intense, but full of energy and always looking for a good time to keep herself going.

Zeke: Swapped with Lindsay, the dumb pauper. A gullible but determined farm boy used to bringing up morale. Everybody’s cheerleader. Ignorant, but well-meaning.

Sierra: Swapped with Leshawna, the white-knight. Stands up for her idols hardcore and a super powerful, independent player who does everything to protect their honor. Not afraid to speak her mind and do whatever it takes to help, but can be emotionally confusing and pretty back-and-forth.

Alejandro: Swapped with Noah, the do-it-all. Involved in loads of extracurricular and hobbies, and while he tries to maintain composure under the stress, he often snaps at people. Good with words, but has an unflattering reputation; quickly gets good at lying.

[shy-peacock]

Hey! How are you doing? I'm that anon that asked for Namaari taking Raya in all fours a long time ago. Loved your answer, dude. Your smut it's just incredible. Now, I think I've read all the smut abalible for this ship and I need to scratch a very specific itch, if you're willing to. In your SKC AU, I really want to see Raya take Namaari apart completely. Like, riding her face, spanking her, idk. All that stuf that's usually reversed. No need to answer if you don't like the idea tho!!

Hello again!

Not exactly what I’m sure you meant, but I hope you like it! This Raya in my fic SKC isn’t really one IMO to be more dominant in that sense. But the Raya in the Tutoring AU might????

Either way! Here is what I wrote.... enjoy! PART TWO OF Phil’s Wedding Prompt XD LMAO Rated M/E for-...you know 

The wedding didn’t get any better from that point. Another hour in the sun followed by being trapped in a tent that was far too crowded and the food more artsy than actually good. The entire group was led to greet with the Bride and Groom who, of course, mentioned the fact that Raya knew the woman. That being an awkward encounter on all parts, except with Phil who had clearly no idea how any of them knew each other.

Watching people who didn’t know how to dance.....dance. Downing champagne that was cheap but the only way to forget about this event. Even the cake sucked, which put Sisu in a foul mood.

“Who the fuck orders lemon cake for a wedding…LEMON?!” She cried, disgusted with the treat in her mouth. “This is the stuff they feed people who have committed crimes!”

Honestly, Raya couldn’t agree more. Hardly touching the food at all, just the drinks. Taking sip after sip of the champagne as the night wore on without much thought to it. Not until they were leaving the party for their hotel rooms, Raya standing up to take a step forward and nearly falling flat on her ass.

Definitely too many drinks.

Which had Virana laughing who also had a bit too many drinks (wanting to forget this whole event ever happened). Namaari assisting her wife while Benja, the gentleman that he was, helped Virana. The two women fairly normal until they reached the hallways of the hotel they were staying at where they suddenly became amused by everything around them. The two bouncing off each other’s energy, not so much drunk now but certainly silly as one would walk only to stumble and the other would laugh and then also trip over their clumsy feet. Resulting in them both erupting into hysterics.

Much to Benja and Namaari’s demise. The two being far more responsible in that moment as they helped the women to their rooms.

“You sure you don’t need assistance, Benja?” Namaari called, finding it much simpler to just pick her wife up in her arms over walking her. The two parting ways with the others as their rooms ran down a different hall.

Benja, red in the face from trying to keep up, waved her off.

“I-…got this!” He breathed out, feigning confidence, “I’ll have your Mother in her room in no time!”

Namaari smirked and pointed down the hall, “you’ve got a runner-“

Benja turned on his heels, seeing Virana leaving around the corner. A heavy sigh falling through him as he gave chase. Namaari leaving that challenge up to the man. Taking care of Raya who was tamer now that it was just the two of them.

Well…somewhat tame.

Less disruptive, but quite a lot more of something else.

Raya’s head was swimming along pleasantly in her inebriated phase, cozy and safe in her wife’s arms as she brought them to their hotel room. Plopping her down on the bed before she turned back to lock the hotel door and began to take off her shoes and undo her dress. Moving along just fine while Raya could only manage to sit up.

Raya watched her, enjoying her body then as it was on full display for her as her dress hit the floor. How her lingerie hugged her bust, just begging to be pulled off. Every inch of her practically calling Raya to have pressed against her, wanting her skin on her. Apparently she had been staring for awhile as Namaari looked over and a smug look filled her face as picked her dress off the floor. In nothing but her undergarments now as she shifted closer.

“Like what you see, dep la?” She teased, bending to give her a small kiss before grabbing her hands, “come on, let’s get you out of this dress and get you to bed so you can sleep this off.”

But Raya no sooner was pulled to her feet, standing before the bed, when she crashed their lips together. Arms wrapping around her neck, tugging her tight against her body. Namaari nearly falling forward into her, catching herself before they fell onto the bed. Melting into her kiss, clutching her hips tight, before moving back.

“Apparently that’s a yes, you do-“ Namaari breathed out, amused as Raya tried to pull her into another needy kiss. “Dep la, you’re-“

“I want you to touch me.” Raya hissed, her eyes lidded, aroused yet dazed from the drinks. “With your tongue-“ she added, which caused a tremor down Namaari’s spine at the neediness of her voice, “please?”

“Are you sure?” Namaari asked, “you’re a bit dru-“

“I’m fine, I’m totally so fine-“

She laughed, “are you?”

“Yesss” Raya whined, tugging her head down so that she could kiss her. Sloppy, messy, Raya’s body arching into her when she felt Namaari’s hands move lower. Cupping her ass, squeezing it, a moan tearing up her throat. “Dep la..”

“Shhh,” Namaari whispered, smiling in between peppering her lips with kisses, “I’ve got you”

Namaari moved until Raya’s body bent back into the bed, crawling over her as their lips connected once more. Heated, hands roaming as they fit perfectly against each other’s form. Kissing slowly, deeply, Raya’s moans increasing in volume as they went. Her teeth taking ahold of Namaari’s lower lip before saying-

“I wanna ride your face..”

Namaari honestly felt she would pass out at the words. Hot, breathy against her mouth. Her wife smiling wickedly, knowing exactly what her words did to Namaari. Hand gripping the back of her head, tugging her hair gently.

Namaari gave her a quick peck on her lips before she rolled onto her back, putting a pillow under hear head as she gave Raya a coy look.

“Climb aboard then.” She said, loving the way her wife crawled over to her then. Throwing her leg over her body, across her chest.

Namaari leaned up, pushing Raya’s dress up. Rising past her thighs, hips, until Raya bunched it together by her stomach where Namaari kissed along her skin there. Licking the space, teasing her around her belly button while her nails lightly dug into the small of her back. Lower, hooking her underwear down and off as Raya shifted from one leg to the other until the fabric was being thrown off to the side. The dress as well, leaving her in only a bra.

Namaari’s hands once more coming up to touch her waist, to guide her as she straddled her head. Knees pressing down into the mattress, her thighs skimming her ears. Already, Raya was taking a fistful of her hair, her hips jutting forward in her desire to have Namaari’s tongue working her up. Which her wife planned to quickly partake in, eager more to please her than tease.

That first touch was everything. Raya knew she was craving her, but it was a totally different sensation to actually feel her tongue run across her folds. Dipping inside her, having a generous taste of her. Raya was already wet, hot from their kisses, though she imagined she was like a waterfall now that Namaari’s mouth was on her. Not that she could imagine a lot, not with the overwhelming sensation that plowed through her body then. Her mind shot, gone, a blur of feelings over coherent thoughts. A tingling, almost unreal, pleasure seeping through her that had Raya whimpering as she slowly canted her hips down into Namaari’s waiting mouth.

“Ah…dep la..yes..” Raya whined, her mind bursting at how good it all felt, from the sucking wet noises of her wife’s mouth to the way she clutched her hips and pushed her further into her ministrations. Raya truly going for a “ride” as she bucked into her faster now. “Fuck..me…ha..yes!”

Namaari hummed in response, her tongue vibrating against her clit that had Raya writhing above her. A gasp filling the air when she felt her teeth gently scrape against her, eagerly, which had Raya’s own teeth sinking into her lower lip. One hand coming up to run through her hair, tugging it as her head fell back in her pleasure.

It was insane how good she felt. Raya unable to tell if it was the stress of the annoying day, the alcohol or the way Namaari’s skillful tongue worked her; but God…damn…she was so into it right now. Raya couldn’t stop how her body was reacting to Namaari, how that little dip in her gut was begging for release. It was making her so wet, so needing to be fucked, that she couldn’t help but rub her need harder then. Namaari not at all seeming to mind as she practically was drowning in between Raya’s legs, pulling her down hard as she pushed her mouth roughly into her.

“Fu-ck…I’m Ah…yes!” Raya screamed, after a powerful flat lick. Long, hard. Hitting a spot on her that was just right. “Maari-“ she whined, needing release, her body bending forward. Riding her face unashamedly.

Namaari’s hands ran up, one clutched around her thigh while the other went to her breast. Fondling them, brushing her thumb over a hardened nipple under her bra. Teasing them, squeezing, until Raya combusted.

She came, yet even still Raya rocked into her. Namaari slowly licking her now, allowing Raya to come down on her own pace. When she finally did, she practically flopped onto the bed then. Panting, spent, her body curled now while Namaari sat up. Her hair an absolute mess, face red and shiny, yet holding the biggest smile on her lips as she wiped her chin.

“I think I stopped breathing like five times..” she joked, dramatically, Raya laughing in response. Weakly, her body so satisfied yet exhausted as Namaari loomed over her. Kissing her skin softly as she removed Raya’s bra carefully, and then pulled back the blankets to help settle her in.

Still, even as she did, Raya pulled her closer as she played with the band of her underwear. Leaving sloppy kisses against Namaari’s pulse, wanting to touch her then.

“Raya you’re falling asleep,” Namaari laughed, “don’t worry about me-“

Raya mumbled something that was half “it’s okay” and “but I want to”. But before Namaari could even question what she had said or advise her to sleep, her wife was passed out. Mid-kiss, her face buried in Namaari’s neck. The Fang Leader pulling back carefully, trying not to laugh at how ridiculous she looked then. Pursed lips, wild hair, the complete look of someone who had drank to much and passed out with such “grace”.

Namaari tucked her in, removing the rest of her clothes completely before plopping down at her side. Blissful, exhausted, and mostly thankful they didn’t have to be back early the next day. Allowing the both of them to simply rest off the chaotic event they had to attend the day before.

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~* Bonus scene!*~

Namaari: (wakes up after hearing a knock on their hotel door, quickly gets dressed and answers it to find Benja standing on the other side)

Namaari: ah...wha-?

Benja: I lost you mom..

Namaari: ....

Benja:....

Namaari: okay, let me get my shoes on...

~*later that next day*~

Namaari and Benja: (falling asleep on the ride home)

Raya: geeze, why are they so tired???

Virana, shrugging: I have no idea.

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~*ANother bonus scene!!?!?*~ (edit)

The waiter found her off in the corner, passed out, smelling like lemons and cake and champagne all at the same time. The blue haired woman, curled up in a the table cloth from the wedding party, slowly rose up as he nudged her with his foot. Confused as to why even now, hours later, she was still here at the reception. Well after the bride and groom and all the guests had gone home.

“Do you need me to call a cab, M’am?” he offered, “why...are you still here?”

She mumbled something in response, utter nonsense to the man.

“What?”

“I said..the writer forgot about me..so she wrote this so I’d have a decent ending to this prompt..” the blue haired woman said, speaking even more nonsense that the waiter could not understand.

What prompt?

What writer?

Clearly she was crazy, yet the waiter couldn’t help but feel a strange sensation at her words. Feeling as though, right at that moment, he was being watched. 

“Right...well, I’ll give you another hour..then you’ll need to leave..please..” he got out, turning then as he prepared to go. Not wanting to linger in this space any longer than he had to.

“Don’t worry.” the blue haired woman scoffed as he did, “the story will be over by then.”

[themaribatpit]

Jasonette July Day 11: Enemy Mine

Written by: The Maribat Pit  @jasonette-july-event

Prompt: Enemy Mine

Rated: T

If you had told Marinette a few weeks ago that she would be teaming up with The Red Hood, to venture deep into the mines beneath a mental hospital, she would have wondered if it was a story Marc and Nathaniel had made up.  Yet, here she was, staying a few steps just behind him.  All because Master Fu thought it was a good idea for them to team up.   They couldn't be more different and they both knew it.  He was a tall man dressed in black, save for a brown leather jacket and a red helmet.  All Marinette could hear of their conversation were promises that she would be brought back unharmed.  She hardly knew this person, and for some reason Master Fu thought sending her on a mission with him was a good idea.   With a wave of Kaalki's magic, they were transported to Gotham City.

Jason had half a mind to send the girl back, he didn't give a damn if she was his apprentice or not.  The only reason he went to Master Fu in the first place was because Batman had absolutely zero patience for magic and magic items.  That said, he didn't want to palm it off to Constantine and Zatanna.  The other reason was, it was one of their magic items that was lost down there. Something called the Peacock Miraculous, which could create monsters based on feelings and emotions.  "Sentimonsters" was the term, he was told, it also meant he couldn't just go pointing guns at the problem if it fell into the wrong hands.    Apparently the last user paid a visit to Arkham Asylum looking, and ended up losing the damn thing.  The girl trailing behind him was their Guardian and had been taking down these Sentimonster things since she was 13.  Jason shook his head, he didn't want to involve the girl at all. She was a piece of insurance, in case he succumbed to the magic item's power.

Marinette took a few steps closer to the Red Hood as they made their way through Arkham Asylum. It felt less like a hospital for the mentally ill and more like a haunted house.  It was the kind of place your friends dared you to sneak into as a test of courage.   If she was being honest with herself, it was more like a prison, where the worst criminals seemingly came and went as they pleased.  In an attempt to avoid eye contact with the other inmates, she focused her attention on the man in front of her.  He was so tall that she barely came up to his shoulder, and who knows what he looks like under that helmet.  She could faintly smell gunpowder and cigarette smoke on his leather jacket.  Her eyes looked down to find that, in addition to various pouches on his trousers, were two holstered pistols.  One was strapped to each leg, and his fingers weren't that far away from either of them.  He came to a stop and Marinette, in her infinite clumsiness, bumped into him.  He glanced down at her and she scrambled a few steps back, pretending to dust off her suit, before following him into the elevator.

Aside from the occasional squeak, Jason could barely get a word out of the girl.  The two were alone in a confined space, as the elevator lowered them into the basement.  “So, what did Master Fu tell you?” he asked, she briefly glanced up at him before turning her attention back to a tile on the floor.

“Only that Mayura lost the Peacock Miraculous down here, and that someone else may plan to steal it.” she said.  

“That someone might be Black Mask II,” he explained “a crime lord in Gotham City”.

Ladybug swallowed hard. Duusu in Mayura’s hands was frightening enough, she shuddered to imagine what this crime lord could do with that power.  

“What happened to the first one?” she asked, she had a feeling she was going to regret knowing the answer.  She was trying to avoid asking the intimidating man any stupid questions.  She was going to get the Peacock Miraculous back before it fell into the wrong hands.

“I killed him.” Red Hood deadpanned, and Ladybug stopped dead in her tracks.  He looked back at her, her blue eyes were horrified at the thought.

“W-why?” she stammered, as he looked back at her, she could only see her frightened expression in his helmet.

“Let’s get one thing clear kiddo, you and I are from different worlds.” he told her, “I promised your mentor I’d bring you back in one piece, and I plan on keeping that promise”. There was a low harshness to his voice, Marinette wondered what had happened to him to make him act this way.  

Jason thought that the sooner this mission was over, the sooner she could go back to her life in Paris.  On the one hand, she was just a kid. She looked to be about 15, 16 at most.  He hated that he had to lead her through a place like Arkham Asylum, when she was used to fighting people who were under mind control.  If her mentor had the slightest clue what she was getting herself into, he should have had the good sense to leave her out of it.

There were a lot of things Marinette wanted to say, she felt like this person was treating her like a child.  She had asked a simple question, only to be told how different they are, as if someone who took one look at them could already tell.  She didn’t even want to be down here, but Master Fu had insisted that neither of them could go alone.  She had one job, and it was to retrieve the Peacock Miraculous before someone got it in their head to start making Sentimonsters.  

After an agonising silence wandering through the dark mines, Ladybug spoke up “W-Which part of Arkham are we in?” She had hoped that was a reasonable question to ask.

“What used to be the maximum security wing before renovation. This used to be mine before it was bought and built on by Amadeus Arkham.” he told her in a calm, even tone of voice.  Ladybug nodded, this was fine, this was better than his earlier tone of voice. “Arkham Hospital would house its most dangerous "patients" deep within the mines,” he explained.

Ladybug shivers at the thought of horrid conditions of Arkham Asylum “Mon Dieu.”

“At least there aren’t any sewer alligators here” Ladybug joked in an attempt to lighten the mood, but more to help calm her nerves.

Just as Ladybug finished her sentence a nearby wall was exploded to reveal Killer Croc.

Ladybug screamed in terror at the sight of Killer Croc. Croc emerged from the wall with a wide grin, blood dripping from his teeth. He gave a dark chuckle. “I smell fresh meat.” he growled.

Ladybug froze as if she was a deer caught in headlights. Red Hood sprung to action, he threw a landmine onto the floor behind them and grabbed Ladybug by her waist. Killer Croc charged at the two recklessly, Red Hood took the opportunity to dodge against the wall of the mine, aiming and shooting his grappling gun behind Croc. He launched both himself and Ladybug, zooming past Croc without the giant reacting to what happened. Killer Croc, unable to stop his momentum, continued charging forward, towards the proximity mine placed by Red Hood. A thunderous explosion roared throughout the mine. The mineshaft had partially collapsed, and blocked Killer croc and their exit.

Ladybug sat on the floor, hyperventilating, feeling as if her entire life flashed before her eyes. Red Hood looked back, “guess there’s only one way out now.” He walked towards Ladybug and offered a hand.  Ladybug scrambled back, still shaken by what had just happened.  She wasn’t entirely sure of trusting the man whose face she couldn’t even see.

“Okay, I have faced pigeon men, literal movie monsters, and I have even ridden a dragon.” she listed out,  “All three of those were possessed by a magic item, so I have to ask, what was that?” she asked.  

Red Hood lowered his hand and sighed, before he reached up to remove his helmet and set it down beside him.  The person underneath wore a domino mask like hers, only in red.  There was a stoic expression on his face, but it was better than talking to a helmet.  

“I’ve been at this since I was your age, probably younger.” he told her, “to be honest I don’t think your mentor has any idea what he’s gotten you into. The inmates you saw back there, that was what I was up against.” he explained. “This isn’t anything you were trained for, and I honestly hope you never have to be.  Not for something like this.” He told her, at least this time, Ladybug could make out the guilty look on his face.  He preferred not to involve her at all, precisely because this task was literally a whole beast from what she was used to.

Ladybug pieced it together, or at the very least tried to.  A part of her wanted to ask who hurt him, maybe there were people who asked him that before.  She still didn’t have all the answers as to what drove the Red Hood to become the person in front of her.  He tried to get them to safety when that thing came charging towards them, and he hadn’t turned his weapons on her yet.  She knew enough, not much but enough to know that he would at least make good on his promise to get her back to Master Fu, alive.   The man stood up and held his helmet in one hand, while offering the other.  Ladybug tentatively took his hand and he lifted her up to her feet.

They continued the journey through the demolished wall that Killer Croc came out of. “If Croc escaped his cell, this could be our ticket into Arkham.” explained Red Hood. Marinette ignored his explanation, she just wanted to get this over with and go home.

The two made their way inside Arkham Asylum and into Killer Croc’s former cell, they cautiously walked out to the main hallway, hoping to avoid any guards or loose inmates. As they made their way to a door, Red Hood held out his hand to stop Ladybug, placing a finger on his helmet in a shushing motion. Red Hood placed the side of his head onto the door to listen in, “Sounds like a major meeting inside, Black Mask has released several inmates and are attempting a breakout.” he explained.

Red Hood pulls open a vent in the wall and gestures towards Ladybug to follow him. The two crawled in the vents towards the large meeting room and watched Black Mask II making his speech. Marinette immediately recognised the Peacock Miraculous being worn on Black Mask II, she tugs Red Hood’s sleeve and points towards the brooch. “That’s it, the peacock brooch.”

Soon a little Kwami comes out of hiding and rushes towards Ladybug and Red Hood hidden in the vents. “Thank goodness Guardian, you’re here.” the Kwami sighed with relief.

“You’re the Peacock Kwami right?” asked Ladybug, offering her hand to the Kwami.

The Kwami nodded, “My name's Duusu.” and shook Ladybug’s finger in greeting.

“So we came all this way for a blue fairy?” interrupted Red Hood.

Ladybug waved him off, and returned to the Kwami. “Can you please help? We just need to stop the guy with the Miraculous so we can rescue you.”

Duusu cheered, “leave that to me” and flew straight back to Black Mask II.

Red Hood eyes Ladybug cautiously, before he could speak Ladybug told him “wait for my signal, we can strike and stop Black Mask II from escaping.”

“You and your fairy friends better have a plan, Pixie.” he said, Ladybug smiled, it was usually a complicated plan but a plan nonetheless.

Duusu flies straight in front of Black Mask II’s face, giving a small wave and a squeaky “Hi.”

Black Mask II whips his gun out and points it at the Kwami, “What the hell are you?” he yelled. He fired his gun at the Kwami only for bullets to phase through. Soon the room erupts into a thunder of gunfire as every goon with a gun begins shooting at the Kwami to no avail.

“Now” shouted Ladybug and the two jump down from the vents into the room and began fighting the escaped inmates. Red Hood throws several smoke bombs one swipe, obscuring the entire room in smoke. .

Red Hood and Ladybug make short work of the inmates of Arkham.  Ladybug’s graceful throws and grapples with her yo-yo were coupled with the straightforward brutality of Red Hood’s hand to hand combat.

Soon all that remained was Black Mask II laying on the floor crawling backwards, he pointed his gun at Red Hood only for it to click. Red Hood pounced on top, pounding the villain endlessly and ripping the mask off to expose the battered and bruised face of Jeremiah Arkham. “Any last words?” asked the Red Hood, reaching for his holstered gun. Only for Ladybug to use her yo-yo to lasso Red Hood’s hand away from the gun.

“That’s enough!” Ladybug yelled, and began walking towards Black Mask II. She ripped off the Peacock Miraculous and walked away. “We have what we came for. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be here for another minute longer.” she told him. Red Hood sighed and stood up and unwound his arm from her yo-yo cord.  She called for a portal using the yo-yo as a communicator, and one appeared moments later.  He followed her back through the portal and into her mentor’s sitting room.

“I have your student and she has your magic item,” he gestured towards Ladybug “back in one piece, as promised.”

Ladybug tuned out their conversation as she gently placed the brooch back inside the box.  She was still shocked by the things she had seen, she wondered what he must have felt like having to come face to face with those people for years and years.  Master Fu was about to call another portal to send the Red Hood back, but instead he literally vanished in a puff of smoke.

“He could have just used the front door.” Master Fu coughed.

“He also has another mask under that helmet,” Ladybug coughed. It was safe to say that the Red Hood had a flair for the dramatic.

Later that night,  Ladybug sat on a rooftop, looking out onto the twinkling city lights, her mind was lost in thought.  She had fought side by side with a brutal crime fighter, one who had apparently been her age when he had started.  She thought back to all the creepy inmates she walked past in the asylum, one of whom was a cannibalistic crocodile man.  She wasn’t going to be able to look at Fang the same way again.  Suddenly, she heard someone land nearby, “Hey Kitty” she sighed, not really bothering to look up.  

“Why the long face, My Lady?” Chat Noir asked jovially “are you about to do a fusion with Kaalki?” He was suddenly worried when she didn’t even grace his pun with a groan.

“I’m probably going to have nightmares for a week, maybe longer” she groaned, Chat Noir frowned.

“What’s wrong?” he asked

“You know that Red Hood guy Master Fu sent me on that mission with?” she asked.

“Tall, dark and scary, yeah him” he replied.

“He said he was angry at Master Fu, and said that he had been doing this ever since he was our age.” she explained.

Chat’s eyes widened, “he was our age?” considering how he was built, it was hard to picture what he would look like as a teenage boy. “What about Red Hood? What was he like?” he was genuinely curious, maybe there was a soft center under the hard outer shell.

“He was…” Ladybug couldn’t quite put her finger on it.  On the one hand he was stoic, serious and intimidating.  He was utterly brutal in the way he fought those inmates, using anything from explosives, to fists, to almost using one of those guns.  On the other hand he protected her, he kept her safe throughout the mission, even tried to calm her when she was genuinely frightened of him.  She couldn’t quite put it into words, and at that point, Chat started mockingly searching through his non-existent pockets.

“Well I don't have your tongue here so..” he joked, Ladybug playfully nudged him and they both laughed.

“I'm serious, he got me back in one piece, just like he promised.  He tried to be patient and explain things, but...” she told him.

“But…?” he pressed.

“But I can't help but wonder, if he used to be a hero like us, what happened to him to make him so…?” Ladybug asked, once again trying to find the words to describe him.

“Scary?” Chat asked, and really it’s all Ladybug had to go on at that moment.  The whole world he inhabited seemed to be a lot scarier than this.  She simply nodded and Chat continued, “I guess we'll never know”.

Ladybug smiled and stared off into the horizon with a more hopeful smile, “Maybe I'll ask him if he ever comes back...”

[prettybirdy979]

Fic: Aziraphale/Crowley - On Trial for Mur-Der?!

Please feel free to send me any prompts. More of my fics here.

Warnings for (comedic) implication of character discorporation

'Now Mr Fell, where were you on the night of June 15th?'

Aziraphale tries to keep his annoyance at this whole thing out of his voice. 'As I told your detectives, I would have been in my bookshop, reading. Or restoring a book. Or having cocoa. Or all three. I really can't remember what I specifically was doing on that one date.'

The lawyer, that damn prosecutor, looks delighted. As Aziraphale expected. Really, is it a crime to forget one night out of thousands?

'And how do you know Mr Crowley?'

Aziraphale only just manages not to sigh. 'We're associates. I sometimes do small jobs for a competitor of his and we often run into each other.'

'And fight? Witnesses we have heard from have said they often witnessed you exchanging heated words.'

Another swallowed sigh. 'We have spirited debates. Both of us feel strongly about certain topics and often clash with our opinions of them.'

The prosecutor looks delighted. 'So heated exchanges?'

'Yes?'

'Heated enough for you to murder Mr Crowley?' 

Aziraphale's lawyer cries out an objection but Aziraphale ignores the legal talk, distracted as he is by a flash of red in the audience. No… it can't be…

'Crowley?!' He calls.

'Yes, the man you murdered,' the prosecutor snaps, to another objection from Aziraphale's lawyer.

Aziraphale waves them both off. 'No, Crowley,' he says pointing. 

And there, sitting in the audience and looking a little dumbfounded, is Crowley. There is a long moment of silence as the audience cranes their necks to look, the prosecutor goes white and Aziraphale's lawyer looks like all his Christmases have come at once.

'They're accusing me of murdering you!' Aziraphale snaps at Crowley, breaking the silence. 'Tell them I didn't!'

Crowley instantly gets a mischievous look in his eyes. 'Well…'

Oh no.

'YOU'RE NOT DEAD, CROWLEY!' Aziraphale has spent far too long in uncomfortable places to be able to take any of Crowley's jokes right now, even the long running ones about Crowley's discorporations. Besides, Aziraphale has never actually been directly responsible for any of the ones the clumsy serpent has suffered.

Except that one time. But it was not this time! And now Aziraphale is being blamed for it!

Crowley, to his credit, instantly looks contrite. 'No a- Fell. You've not murdered me.'

'But the blood?!' the prosecutor cries. 'We have physical evidence of a murder.'

'What blood?' Crowley asks, frowning. Ah, so maybe not even a discorporation then. Perhaps just poor timing or another demon’s idea of a joke.

'All over your flat, dear boy.' Aziraphale shifts in place, eyes on the jury who look to be having a great time. 'It’s most of the reason I'm here.'

'The chicken blood?' Everyone gasps as Aziraphale sees Crowley snap. 'I was trying to make fertiliser; heard animal blood and bone works wonders. Might have spilled some before I went out of town; I was planning to clean it up when I got back.'

Confident that Crowley was now on top of this, Aziraphale turns to the judge. 'May I please go now? As you can see Mr Crowley is quite fine, I have hardly murdered him.'

The judge nods, a little bemused, as Aziraphale gets out of the dock and has those awful handcuffs removed.

Crowley gets up too. 'Come on angel, I think it's my turn for lunch.'

'Quite right it is, after all this!'

And, ignoring the cries of the lawyers and twittering of the audience, they go for lunch.