#being open and vulnerable won’t kill me i think it could only do me good in this situation

[cherry-pop-soda]

hrhrhrhrhhrdhwhwggshfjdgshskskjfldksfmcbdkg.. goodnight

[unsolved-duvall]

I know — I'm sure, it's fact, that Eddie would accept and listen to any kinky confession of hi SO without judgment, and he'd find it kinda hot. Like he would be so turned on only by you talking about what makes you all hot and bothered, he would encourage you so much you'd just keep talking and talking and talking and he'd be sooooo red, and soooo so hard-🙈 sorry, is it too much?

𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 - 𝐞.𝐦. (𝟏𝟖+)

Nothing is ever too much on this blog, Eddie has a chokehold on all of us, it’s okay <3

Eddie would practically melt hearing you talk about your kinks. The man would almost stop breathing. He thinks it’s so fucking hot that you can be so open and honest with him about what you like, what you want him to do to you, or with you.

And imagine that you maybe aren’t the type to be so open about these things normally. Maybe you’ve been dating a while, the sex is good. Really good. Eddie is the only man you’ve been with who has actually made you cum. Maybe before him you even struggled to get yourself there. But Eddie will take as long as he needs to have you a moaning, whimpering mess underneath him. He refuses to stop until your legs are shaking and all you can say is his name, and he’s barley holding it together himself. “Yeah angel? Fuck you look so hot when you cum, Jesus”

And that’s good. You love having sex with Eddie, you’re practically horny teenagers. If you have any free time, you’re having sex. Whatever that may consist of changes depending on the mood you’re both in, but it always ends with you clinging to him whilst he tells you how good you were for him.

And Eddie loves that. He loves being in control. He’s so grateful for the amount of trust you put in him. He knows that letting someone else have so much control over your body is a scary thing, and he’s always checking in. If he thinks you’re too far gone, that you can’t properly consent anymore, he’s stopping. No questions asked. Even if you’re blabbering away, begging him to keep going. He won’t do it. “Nuh-uh baby, you can’t even remember your safe word. We’re done. You were so good for me baby, I promise” He needs you to be completely there and with it when he makes you fall apart underneath him.

And aftercare with Eddie? Fuck.

He will never skip aftercare. He knows how much you need it every time. But especially if you’ve been in sub space, he knows that drop is going to come. The rush of emotions, the vulnerability that comes after being in that headspace. And Eddie needs it to, needs you to know how much he loves you, he needs to know how much you love him. “I love you so much baby, thank you for trusting me.” “Love you too, Eds”

So sure, the sex is fucking hot. But what’s even hotter? When one day you start to tell Eddie about your kinks. He had noticed how slowly you had started opening up to him, telling him what you liked and wanted to try during sex. But one day it’s like the dam burst and you needed to tell him everything. Wanted to tell him everything. So you did.

And Eddie’s certain he’s died and gone to heaven but holy fuck hearing you talk like that has him gripping the arm of the couch to stop him from pinning you underneath him and fucking you until you can’t remember your own name.

But he won’t do that.

Because hearing you tell him your kinks, your turn ons, every dirty thought you’ve ever had? Fuck.

A couple of times he noticed you start to go red, your voice going quieter and your hands fiddling with each other. You were nervous. He knew all your tells, of course he did. But he needed you to keep talking. He needed to know how he could make you fall apart for him.

So he’d encourage you.

“Yeah? Keep going, angel.”

“Fuck baby why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“You’re killing me here sweetheart.”

And you tell him everything. Everything. And Eddie’s making a mental list of everything you say. Because he will do every single thing you’ve told him about. He’s determined to try every kink, every turn on with you. Some of them he’s never even thought about himself, but with you sat in front of him he’s pretty sure he’d sell his soul to the devil if you told him that’s what you wanted.

By the time you’ve finished talking Eddie’s barely breathing anymore. He’s sure he’s never been this hard before. He’s also sure that he’s never loved someone more than he loves you. Not because of the sex, but because someone trusts him enough to be so vulnerable with him.

By the end of the night you’re pinned underneath him on his bed and he’s looking up at you from between your thighs. You don’t know how many times he’s fucked you already. How many sloppy make out sessions you’ve had between rounds, how many times he’s eaten you out. But there is one thing you know.

He’s going to be the death of you. You’re certain of that.

[seravphs]

ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — GOJO SATORU x FEM READER

“What I want from the river is what I always want: / to be held by a stronger thing that, in the end, chooses mercy.”

wc — 1.5k

tags — quote from Advantages of Being Evergreen by Oliver Baez Bendorf, title from the Louvre by Lorde, feral Gojo, kidnapping, NPC death

“What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” Gojo asks as you’re lying in bed, whispering to each other before you fall asleep as you often do. It’s a strange question, but not worse than other ones he’s asked before.

“I’m not sure…once I helped Shoko steal cigarettes from the local konbini because she wanted to try the delinquent life, but I left money behind when she wasn’t looking.”

He laughs so hard tears pop into his eyes, probably more at you than with you, but you don’t care. You’re as gone for him as he is for you, and that means humiliating yourself for a chance to hear him laugh is an honor you’d accept over and over.

“What about you?”

“You don’t want to know,” he says, hand rubbing your stomach lightly. He can’t help the urge to touch when he sees your pajama shirt ride up. It makes you squirm, his long pale fingers stroking over the tender skin.

He likes it. Something about seeing you belly up - vulnerable, trusting, ready to be plundered - speaks to the worst instincts in him. He never pretended to be a good man.

“No, seriously,” he shakes his head when you pout. You’re a little annoyed by the unfairness of it, after all, you had shared yours with him. “I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true. You really don’t want to know, especially before you fall asleep.”

You’ve never really thought about it before, but Gojo is a bit of a monster, isn’t he?

“Hey,” someone taps your head lightly. “Keep her awake.”

“Is she fucking dying? Hello? Are you dying?”

It makes sense for them to ask. Your eyes keep fluttering shut, but you’re not dying. You were just reminiscing on the past.

“Idiot!” There’s a yelp from somewhere in the room. “I told you not to hit her so hard!”

“I thought she could take it! That’s Gojo Satoru’s girl!”

That hurts more than any of your injuries. How embarrassing, to be caught off guard. When Gojo rescues you, he’s going to make fun of how easily you let yourself get captured.

“Is he coming soon?”

“Why, you scared?”

“Are you kidding me? Of course I’m scared! It’s Gojo Satoru!”

“Good,” comes a familiar voice. “You should be.”

You open your eyes. Gojo looks like Gojo, which is to say-

Impeccable. Mischievous. Divine.

A smile flickers across your face even in your condition.

“Took you long enough,” you croak.

“Don’t move!” One of your guards is holding a knife to your neck. If you had the energy to, you’d sigh at the naïveté. “I’ll kill her!”

In the blink of an eye, Gojo’s by his side. He wrenches his hand off you with nothing but brute force, without even using a technique. You take the dropped knife and plunge it into the man. It’s only right to return the favor. Even that one movement takes so much out of you. You’re shaky on your feet.

“You’re stronger than this,” Gojo chides even as he pulls you into him, supporting your weight. You slide forward limply, letting your chin hook over his shoulder. He hoists you up with one arm to carry you.

You know he won’t hear any excuses. When you’re back on campus and fully recovered, it’s going to be hours of training before he lets you go on another mission on your own again, regardless of the fact that you were set up.

“Close your eyes,” he murmurs into your ear. “I’m going to take care of the rest.”

Then the screaming starts. It dies as quickly as it began. You peek up at him. The look in his eyes is terrifying. He doesn’t look all human - or all there. There’s a thirst for blood in him, a debt to be paid.

“Is it over?”

“Almost, sweetheart. Just give me a minute.”

“Please,” you hear someone begging. You think it’s the man who confessed to being scared. It’s so like Gojo to save him for last. Those who know their own place should be rewarded, after all.

“I have a message for Suguru,” Gojo says casually. The guard relaxes a little in his hold. He knows that means he’s getting home. “Tell him he doesn’t need to hurt her to get my attention.”

The guard starts to open his mouth, and then Gojo tightens his grip. “I changed my mind.”

He’s dead before a second has passed.

You don’t remember getting back to campus, but you remember Shoko giving you a Hello Kitty band-aid after she patches you up.

“Just got them,” she says, rattling the little can. “Satoru dropped them off. Says he wants me to use them on Megumi. I don’t have any stickers, so this is all you’re going to get from me.”

She pats your back when you hug her.

“Okay, okay,” she says with a laugh. “I get it, I’m amazing. Satoru wants to see you when you’re done, by the way. Think he’s hanging around the training yard.”

You give her a pained look. “Please, no.”

“Oh yes,” she says cheekily.

When you get there, Gojo is pacing the training grounds like a chained animal. His head snaps up when he sees you. Relief spreads over his face before he whisks it away.

“Good, good,” he nods. “There you are. I was starting to think Shoko was losing her touch.”

“I was just making conversation,” you say, walking over to him. “Some of us are polite, you know.”

“I’m polite.”

“You’re so cute when you’re delusional,” you say, leaning forward to give him a peck on the nose.

He scrunches his nose up, never quite sure how to respond to your overt affection before he just takes it.

“You can call me names after you beat me once,” he says, hefting a wooden staff in hands. He tosses you another one.

“Did you steal these from Maki?”

“Don’t try to distract me,” he scolds. “I know what you’re doing.”

“Come on,” you wheedle. “I’m not in the mood.”

“I must not have trained you well enough if you’re getting taken down that easily,” Gojo teases.

“Don’t play the all knowing teacher with me,” you say. “I’m not Megumi. I knew you when you were struggling with Infinity.”

“Three rounds,” he promises, “and we can get food after. Just give me three.”

You’re smarter than the cronies Gojo just annihilated for you. It’s because you know the cardinal rule of facing Gojo: never expect to win. All you’re trying for are one or two hits.

You give him the first one. Then, right when he’s in your space, you lunge forward, tapping your staff against his shoulder. It touches -

And he doesn’t flinch.

“Cheater! Turn off Infinity!”

“I never said I was turning it off,” he says, returning to his starting position. “I’m going to be serious now. Get ready.”

“Okay,” you laugh, and then you’re flat on your back. Gojo leans over you. He looks the same as he did during the earlier fight, his teeth bared. It’s the kind of expression that belongs on him, blood on his hands and eyes like that of a god.

You can’t stop staring, devouring the image of him even when it shakes something in you. As much as your animal instincts are cowering right now, telling you to roll over in submission, it feels strangely good. You know Gojo would never hurt you. To be caught in his grip like this, still knowing you’re safe despite being able to feel all of the power that thrums through him does something for you. Your breath catches.

“Oh,” he says. “I thought so.”

You blink at him, completely and utterly confused as to what he’s blathering about now. Sometimes the only way to deal with Gojo is just to let him run his course.

“I know it’s the first time you’ve seen me-“ he gestures vaguely in the air, which does nothing to clarify the matter for you, “but it doesn’t have to change anything. Just forget it happened, and I’ll tone it down. You’ll never see me like that again.”

“Babe,” you say, patiently in a tone you usually only reserve for the students. “What are you talking about?”

“I know I went a little harder than I normally do on those curse users, but I was just worried about you! I’m not normally like that-“

Lies. He totally is, and you know it. It makes you laugh at him.

He grabs you by the chin, his big palm covering your mouth in an attempt to shut you up. You know it annoys him a little, to see you so lighthearted when he’s so tense. Must be hard to get a dose of his own medicine.

“Oh, Gojo,” you say, unbearably fond even through a mouthful of his flesh. “I’m not scared of you - I’m scared of how much I want you, even at your worst. I’ll never look away from what you are.”

“Okay,” he says softly. “Good.”

“Good?”

“I like the part of you that needs me,” he says, and it’s more of a confession than anything he’s ever given you.

[igotanidea]

The fear : Jason Todd x fem!reader part 8

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

***

„You good?” Damian asked taking in her pale face and hurt eye expression.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She muttered, obviously lying. Even despite her experience-enhanced skills in the art of deceiving it was impossible to cover up for the fact that unwanted, unneeded and unwelcomed encounter with Jason took a huge tool on her mentality. And it lasted no longer than an hour.

An hour, that took turn from open hostility to a little unexpected heart to heart that opened old wounds. Reminding of the past mistakes, lost things and casted wounds. Ruined relationship that was doomed from the very beginning.

But even though-

They fought for it.

They fought to the best of their limited abilities, despite the world that was conspiring against them and throwing obstacles their way. Damn that tears that started flowing down her face when she started dwelling in the past. There was no denying she still held strong feelings for him, though couldn’t quite define if they were good ones or the bad ones.

“Y/N…”

“I’m fine, Damian. I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine…” she repeated as some sort of spell. A lie told a hundred times becoming a reality.

“Let’s get you upstairs first. We’ll watch some silly movies so you could stop telling me bullshit.”

“Hey! Language!”

“I’m 15, you can’t tell me what to do.”

“15 my ass. Still the same nasty little boy as always only with a fouler mouth.”

“It’s good to see you again Y/N.” Damian smirked

“Yeah, you too, kiddo.”

“You do realise you won’t be heading back home tonight, right?”

“What? Huh! You’re gonna keep me captive now or something?”

“You voluntarily got yourself in the house full of vigilantes, the heck were you thinking?”

“I could argue on that voluntarily part but-“

Regardless of what she said, it was evident that Damian has grown during the time they didn’t see each other. Not only in height, but also mentally. And it only made her realise the full amount of things she lost.

Not just the man she loved, but also priceless time with her best friends Wayne boys.

While Y/N was getting drunk and laughed with Dick, Tim and Damian upstairs, Jason refused to step a foot out the batcave as long as she was still in the manor.

Fuck her.

Fuck her help, her words, her gestures, her eyes and hair, her smile and her coming for the rescue attitude. Who the hell she thought she was?! Paw patrol?!

The anger started boiling in him again, threatening to take over.

Anger at everything, but mostly at himself for getting so vulnerable and honest with her, to the point when he asked her to fucking take him back.

Pathetic. Foolish. Idiot.

“Aghghhg!” he jumped from the chair kicking it with all the rage he had, nearly breaking the metal.

Fighting the urge to destroy all that stupid batcave – the real reason of his fucked up life and psyche. He could have been a normal boy being in a relationship with the girl of his dreams. Instead he had to die (leaving her in tears), come back (leaving her in tears), suffering from the Pit madness (leaving her in tears) and due to this fucking fear gas incident loose her again (leaving her in tears)

“FUCK!” he grabbed the chair and threw it on the floor “FUCK!” he yelled, throwing all the stuff from the nearest desk “FUCK!!!” he pulled at his hair, hard enough he could be left bald.

He had no idea what he wanted.

So fucking angry, horn-mad, charged with hands itching to punch something, someone, to destroy, hurt, kill…

Stop…

“Huh?! Get the fuck out of my head Y/N!!” he yelled in the air, his voice echoing through the empty space.

Stop, Jason…

Right. Stop. He was past his killing days. He was not a monster. Not a beast.

He changed. He grew up, matured, became a man and not a boy.

He had to get a hold of himself.

Move past the past.

If he couldn’t have her he might as well spend the evening with his crazy asses brothers, giving them his attitude, using the bad mood to banter and bicker and pick up on someone else to make himself feel better.

So he emerged from the batcave, almost in the same way he did emerge from the Pit.

Slowly heading upstairs.

To the main room, filled with surprising silence. Deafening silence that formed goosebumps on his arms and immediately put him on alert, searching for some kind of threat.

Vigilante instincts never fail.

There was some movement on the couch.

Two people, a man and a woman judging by the silhouettes.

Girl sitting on man's lap, straddling him, their hands all over each other, their lips moving together, the room filled with soft whines of pleasure and sweet whispers.

“Y/N…” the man whispered.

THE FUCK!?

Jason stomped inside without a care in the world, making the couple break the intense make-out session and look at him with terrified expressions.

“Grayson!!!” he yelled taking in the scene, his fury immediately raising head again. “Y/N!!!”

He was right.

There was someone else in her life already.

And that someone was the fuckboy - his older adoptive-brother.

[lovesuhng]

[16:47]

couple: sunny!johnny x grumpy!fem!reader

"Don't be afraid to cry in front of me, I've got you."

It seems like everything was purposely going wrong this week. University and your part-time job were killing you to the point where you missed the bus to university almost every day. Your performance in classes wasn't the best either and you knew that if you didn't try just a little more, you would lose this class.

Once again, you had woken up late, you were running towards class while trying to tie your hair, when you bumped into something, or rather someone and fell to the floor. That someone was Johnny, the personification of a friendly person, who was almost always happy, totally the opposite of you. Let's just say you weren't the nicest person around.

Johnny ran to help you get up, but you refused the man's help and went to your class, you didn't feel like interacting with people today and unfortunately for you, Johnny followed you, as you studied together.

At the end of the class, your teacher talked to you about your performance in the subject, as he seemed truly worried, you apologized and said you would work harder, but he said he had a solution:

“Johnny Suh will be your tutor” And like magic, the boy appeared next to you, smiling at you, who returned a forced smile.

“So, apparently we're going to spend some time together” Johnny said excitedly, as soon as the teacher left the room. The only thing you did was roll your eyes. “Hey hey, at least let’s exchange our cell phone numbers and arrange our first date… to study of course.” You handed the cell phone to him, and he did the same.

“I work every day after school, so I will only be available at night. We can start today if you don’t have an appointment.” ‘I want to start this soon so I can finish it soon’ was all you could think.

“Perfect, it’s in the coffee shop on the street behind the university, right?” The boy noticed your scared face. “Don’t worry, I’m not following you” He chuckled, but stopped as soon as he saw that you weren’t laughing with him. “I’ve been there a few times and I saw that you work at this coffee shop.”

“I’ll see you later.” You left towards your work, leaving Johnny behind.

A little before the scheduled time, Johnny arrived at the coffee shop where you worked and your co-worker said that you were getting ready to leave, but that your boss had called you to have a talk. Johnny decided to wait for you outside, but he was surprised by some screams coming from the back of the coffee shop. As he was very curious, he decided to look at what was happening and was surprised when he saw you leaning against the wall, with your head down and a man, who apparently was your boss, shouting at you.

“HOW CAN YOU BE SUCH AN IDIOT? TODAY ONLY YOU MADE 5 WRONG ORDERS! LOOK AT THE SIZE OF DAMAGE YOU ARE CAUSING! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS AT HOME AND AT UNIVERSITY, YOU HAVE TO WORK RIGHT!” You kept your head down, listening to everything he said. “I’m not going to fire you, but you better work properly next week”

“It won’t happen again, I promise” That was all you said and, as soon as your boss left, you took a deep breath, gathering all your strength not to cry there. It was the first time Johnny had seen you in such a vulnerable way and it tugged at his heart. He returned to the car and a short time later, you met him, who was waiting for you with a smile on his face, pretending not to have seen what had just happened to you.

“Come on, I think you had a busy day. Do you mind being in your place? Mine isn’t in good condition for visitors” Johnny said, opening the door for you to enter.

"Okay."

“Great! So, put your address in the GPS, please? Oh, I wanted to go somewhere first, I promise it will be quick.” You just nodded and got into the car.

On the way, Johnny noticed that you were not only tired, but also sad, but you were trying very hard not to show it. You noticed that Johnny was at a drive thru buying some burgers, you didn't want to admit that you were hungry and that you were happy that Johnny was doing that.

When you arrived at your room, you told Johnny to make himself comfortable and she would organize everything for you to eat, but the man preferred to follow you to the kitchen.

“We’re not studying today” Was all Johnny said as you grabbed a bottle of ketchup from the fridge.

“What?!”

“I know you didn't have an easy day, besides all the pressure from classes, I saw what your boss did to you, I don't want you to be more tired than you already are.”

“You don’t need to feel sorry for me about that.” You sniffled, holding back your tears and avoiding exchanging glances with Johnny as much as possible. For some reason, you felt like he could read you like no other person could.

“And I'm not. I just want you to know that you can count on me. Don't be afraid to cry in front of me, I've got you.”

All the tears that were haldin began to fall, Johnny's arms hugged your body. You could feel that your cold person mask had completely fallen and that you finally had someone on your side.

[loveshotzz]

Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader

Summary: Your first day at Family Video goes better then expected and when Eddie invites you on a late night drive you can’t say no.

Series Masterlist

Word count: 4.6k

Warnings: Still pretty SFW. Two idiots being vulnerable and flirting. TW : mentions of sexual assault in the past (no details just alluded to).

I won’t need a community label just yet for this series but I will soon so if you haven’t changed your settings please make sure you do. I had one of my fics flagged today.

Authors Note: This is the biggest story concept I’ve ever tried doing so thank you to everyone who’s been reading so far. I’ve never taken on a story with so many characters and moving parts so comments, feedback, likes, and reblogs are all greatly appreciated. A special thank you to my wife @myobmaya and @sweetsweetjellybean for reading my rough drafts and helping me get out of my head.

Tag list: @emotionaldreamer @eddiesprincess86 @bimbobaggins69 @rach5ive @luckyysstarr @h-ness1944 @stolen-in-moonlight @bohemianrhapsody86 @maximizedrhythms @ms1oftheboys @b-irock @amethyst1258 @princesseddie @munsonology

Despite Eddie promising that the two of you would be inseparable you didn’t see him again after that. Even going as far as peaking out your window hoping to catch a glimpse of that wild mane of his shamelessly trying to orchestrate an ‘accidental’ run in. Convincing yourself it was because you were bored not because you wanted to see his dimples again. His van never seemed to be there between normal working hours, of course he must’ve had a full time job he was 20.

So when Friday rolled around and your Chevy Nova pulled into the parking lot of your new job with a loud squeal, you were ready for some solid human interaction. Reaching over to pop open your glovebox, your eyes lock with the rolled joint courtesy of Eddie’s Munson’s free weed. After work joints were a favorite past time of yours deciding tonight would be a good time to continue the tradition.

Your driver door opens with it’s usual loud creak, the cringe on your face never going away no matter how many times it happens. Wiping your sweaty nervous palms on the dark denim of your jeans, the converse on your feet bring you to the entrance.

Bells chime loudly when you walk in, standing in the front you glance around the store thats filled wall to wall with any kind of movie any one in this small town could ever want. There’s a faint smell of popcorn which you find odd considering it wasn’t an actual movie theater, with American Werewolf in London playing quietly in the background you don’t think you’ll hate it here. Racking your brain you desperately try to remember the name of the guy you were suppose to be asking for. The magic of being surrounded by movies finally fading with reality kicking in. You knew it started with an ‘S’ was it Stan? Stu?

“Is there some kind of beauty pageant in Hawkins I wasn’t aware of Robin?” The smooth voice of the boy resting on the counter in front of you catches your attention. He’s got the kind of hair a model would kill for and a smile that’s worth a million bucks. Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, your smart enough to catch the green family video vest wrapped around his broad shoulders.

The striped polo underneath it definitely does the boy favors, with pants so tight they are almost enough to make your cheeks turn hot. Eye’s flickering down you catch the ‘Steve’ on his name tag. Holding back an internal groan you remember exactly who you were suppose to ask for.

“Steve Harrington?”

The smile on his face only widens with a flirtatious twinkle in his eyes as he pushes himself off the counter “And she knows my name already, this must be my lucky day.”

The girl he referred to as Robin catches on before he does, with a loud laugh her honey colored waves bounce as she throws her head back.

“Way to hit on the new girl dingus.”

Steve’s cheeks flush deep red when he realizes his mistake, hazel eyes going wide when they meet yours drowning with embarrassment.

“Oh man, this is awkward. Look that was super inappropriate. I’m so sorry, please don’t quit.” The confident demeanor he was putting on suddenly gone, leaving nothing but a nervous rambling boy in his place.

“Do you always hit on the customers?” Cocking a brow you cross your arms over your chest, the corner of your lips turning up. Just like Eddie you were enjoying watching him squirm. Something about humiliating boys bringing you joy, especially cocky boys like Steve Harrington.

“No-“

“Absolutely he does, you’ll get used to it.” The girl behind the counter cuts him off before making her way around. Her tuxedo top, rolled up to her elbows makes her look like an 80’s dream. With a black tie wrapped tightly around the neck of her button up tucked into her high waisted slacks she’s the epitome of cool even with the green vest.

“I’m Robin by the way.” Extending her hand she gives you a sweet smile showing her perfect white teeth.

“I’m y/n.” Wrapping your hand around hers, you glance back at Steve. “I’ll forgive you just this once, but only because it clearly hasn’t been working for you.”

Robin’s laugh echos again when she drops your hand, pinching the bridge of his nose Steve makes his way passed both of you going back behind the counter mumbling under his breath about grabbing you a vest.

“Look, if this is going to be a new dynamic here. The kind where you two gang up on me, I’m not going to be okay with that.” He doesn’t look at either one of you while he’s talking, rummaging through the drawers underneath the registers until he finds a slightly used looking vest.

“Aww calm down Stevie, we’re just having fun. It’s not like I haven’t made fun of your poor attempts at picking up unsuspecting women at work before.” Robin grins eating up Steve’s irritation.

The day is spent watching cheesy training videos in the small back room that looks like it hadn’t been cleaned in years, both of them taking turns checking in on you. When you make it on the sales floor after a few hours of mindless torture you realize Robin was right. Not only did you get used to Steve’s over the top pick up lines, but against your better judgment you couldn’t help but find yourself entertained by the relentless-ness of his determination. Watching Steve get turned down more times then you could count you were shocked at how fast your first day went. Laughing and falling into easy banter with the two of them, there was a small part of you that wasn’t ready for your shift to end.

—-

The night air has a sharp chill to it when the three of you close up, looking up at the clear sky you still couldn’t get over how many stars you could see out here. Losing yourself for a second it’s only when Robin grabs the back of your arm you remember where you are.

“Everything good?” Her eyes are soft on you.

“Oh- um yeah. We just didn’t have stars like this in the city. It’s beautiful out here.” Giving her a reassuring smile Steve snorts at your words.

“Hawkins? Beautiful? You absolutely just moved here.” Shrugging on his grey jacket he tosses his keys in the air before catching them with a wink.

“You love to show off don’t you?” Teasing Steve was becoming one of your favorite things. You couldn’t help but feel excited about the prospect of making friends with the two of them. Your new mysterious one missing in action.

“No need to show off sweetheart, I’m just that good.” Steve’s cockiness makes Robin give him a hard shove as the three of you make your way to your cars.

“A Chevy Nova? Niiiiice.” Steve heckles with a grin when he sees your car parked adjacent to his. Yours rusted and old, his shiny and new.

“Not all of us can drive BMW’s Steve.” Rolling your eyes, your fingers dig through your purse for your keys.

“Last I checked she actually has her own place. Aren’t you two the same age?” Robin smirks opening the passenger side door of Steve’s car.

Of course he was taking Robin home, the closeness of the two obvious best friends makes your heart swell with a mixture of admiration and jealousy.

“Yeah, yeah keep it up or you’re walking home.” Opening the driver side Steve leans forward arms resting over the door and the roof. “All jokes aside I’m glad Keith didn’t hire someone lame. Remember Tammy Thompson?” Looking towards his friend she makes an exaggerated show of rolling her eyes nodding her head.

“You did great!” Robin gives you a double thumbs up enthusiastically. The gesture making a small smile spread over your face.

You mimic Steve’s stance on your own car “Yeah, I didn’t hate it as much as I thought I was going too. Even if Steve did hit on me when I first walked in.”

Robin throws her head back loving having someone else who’s not charmed by his slick tongue and pseudo confidence.

“Look can we just forget that happened okay?” Pinching the bridge of his nose for the millionth time that day, you were figuring out this was a signature stance.

“Never, I’m never going to let you forget it Harrington.” Throwing him a wink you give Robin a small wave before getting into your car. Eager hands already reaching for what you’d been looking forward to all day.

Steve’s headlights flood the inside of your dark car, when he doesn’t make any moves to pull out it takes you a minute to realize that he’s waiting for you to leave first. He was making sure you were safe.

Maybe the city had hardened your heart but you weren’t used to strangers having your best interests in mind like this. The simple gesture is enough to make your chest tighten.

—

With the windows rolled down the bitter night air feels good running through your hair. Inhaling deeply you blow the smoke out into the darkness of the back roads, Bat Out of Hell playing so loud it makes your speakers shake. Your mind can’t help but wander to Eddie, the nickname Wayne gave him few nights prior seemed nothing short of fitting. The thought of the two men makes your lips twitch up despite your best efforts. The fleeting beginnings of happiness settling deep in your chest as your tires speed down the pavement, doing the unthinkable you let yourself feel it.

The hope you had felt after you met your new neighbors grows ten fold when you think about your first day with Steve and Robin. The new feeling of excitement radiates through your finger tips as they tap against the steering wheel. Singing loudly and off tune, you finally let yourself take the breath you had been holding onto for the past few years. You finally made the right choice, the first time in your whole life.

Hitting the entrance of the trailer park, you turn the music down not wanting to be on the receiving end of Wayne’s annoyance. When your headlights hit their trailer the boy you’d been trying to catch a glimpse of the past few days is right in front of you. A group of kids who couldn’t be any older then 15 surround him, with arms flailing animatedly all of them seemed to be getting into some kind of heated argument. Brows furrowing, you notice all of their matching baseball tee’s. Hellfire Club.

By the time you pull into your drive way you’ve caught Eddie’s attention. Chocolate eyes on you, the dimples you definitely weren’t thinking about show themselves when his lips pull up into a smile. Ignoring the arguing boys in front of him, he shoves passed them making long strides towards your car as you start getting out.

“There’s my new best friend!” Arms spread wide his smile only grows bigger showing his teeth.

His loud outburst makes the kids stop fighting, one with particularly curly hair covered in a baseball cap quirks his head at you.

“Who’s that?” His voice has a slight lisp to it and you can’t help but think it’s cute. The one he spoke to had long black hair that looked eerily similar to the metal head’s that was walking towards you.

“I didn’t know he knew any girls.” The only one without a Hellfire shirt speaks up, wearing the same letterman jacket as the guys from the other night piecing together that they must be in high school. The three boys watch both of you with curious eyes.

“Well, well if it isn’t Mr. disturb the peace himself.” A teasing smirk pulls at the corner of your lips. Crossing your arms over your chest you lean back against your car, the heat of the drive keeping the metal and your body warm.

“I’ll have you know, I don’t resent that title at all.” The wink he gives you makes your stomach flutter and you do your best to ignore it.

The smile on Eddie’s face only widens when he reaches you, standing in front of him makes you realize just how tall he actually is. Craning your neck up to meet his doe eyes, you can’t help but match his excited energy. Your own cheeks hurting from how hard he was making you grin.

“Care to tell me why your hanging out with children on a Friday night? And also why you’re all in matching shirts?”

“Why? You jealous? You want one?” Rocking back on his heels he clasps his hands behind his head making his shirt ride up, your proud of the self control you maintain when your eyes don’t flicker down.

“As metal looking as they are, I have no idea what Hellfire club is. Is it that satanic cult you were trying to get me to join the other night?” Arching your brow with a teasing smirk it was far too easy to slip in your usual banter with him.

Glancing over his shoulder you see the kids are watching you with baited breath.

“That’s a hefty invite to get, I don’t think we’re there yet. It’s the DND club I run.” You can’t help but take notice in the prideful look in his eyes when he says it.

“Don’t tell me that the Eddie Munson is a Dungeon Master. ” Batting your eyelashes at him you play into his ego just a little bit.

When his cheeks flush pink your own ego grows slightly.

“Yes M’lady you are in the presence greatness. I’m not just any Dungeon Master, I’m the Dungeon Master sweetheart. Just ask those destroyed little sheep over there.” Turning around he points at the three boys who quickly try to act like they weren’t opening staring at whatever was unfolding right in front of them.

Giving them a little wave you chuckle to yourself at how awkward they get before clambering into Eddie’s van arguing in hushed voices.

“Are you their baby sitter or something?” Eddie’s eyes widen at your question when he turns back to you.

“Uhh not exactly.” Fidgeting with his rings he stops making eye contact, the ground suddenly becoming interesting.

“What do you-“

“What are you doing right now?” Eddie cuts you off before you can press further bringing his attention back to you, excitement dancing in his brown pools like he just got a brilliant idea.

“Like right now, right now?” Pushing yourself off the car you look down at your watch. Red numbers reading 9:45pm flash back at you.

“Well not right this second but like 40 minutes from now? I just got to take these little idiots home but after that I gotta make some runs. I could use a co pilot...” Raising his eyebrows at you he watches the wheels in your head turn. “Besides I know my Uncle offered up my tour guide services free of charge to you.”

“You’re gonna give me a tour in the middle of the night?” Giving him a hard time, you already know you’re going to say yes.

“That’s the perfect time, all the assholes are inside.” Flashing you a toothy grin he starts backwards towards his van. “Be outside in 30.”

“You just said 40!” The butterflies can’t be ignored this time at the thought of spending the entire evening with him.

“I drive fast, bring whatever music you want. I’ll even let you set the mood that’s how nice I am.” Throwing a wink your way he turns around jogging the rest of the way to his van. The curly haired boy’s head sticks out the driver side window, a knowing smirk spread wide over his face.

“Oh okay buddy, I see you.” His eyes squint when his cheeks push up, a look of pure joy.

“Can it Henderson, get in your seat.” You can’t help but laugh at Eddie’s sharp tone with the kid, the sweet sound makes him turn his head one last time flashing you a quick smile before jumping in.

Starting his van with a loud rumble, you watch him peel out with Metallica back at the volume that got him flicked between the eyes. Completely ignoring his Uncle’s warning, something tells you it won’t be the last time you see that argument happen.

—-

“Are you seriously going to make me listen to Meatloaf?” Eddie scoffs grabbing the cassette from your hand.

“First of all you said I could pick the music, and I told you the other night that I loved him. Specifically mentioned Meatloaf while addressing your question about Metallica.” Crossing your arms your staring up at him again only this time next to the passenger door of his van.

Rolling his eyes his wiggles the tape in his hand “Yeah, yeah, yeah I guess I did say that.”

“I could just go have the relaxing night alone I had planned if you’d rather not listen to my music choice.” Arching your brow you pretend not to be hyper aware of his reaction.

“Whoa, whoa whoa sweetheart, lets not get crazy here.” Opening the door for you it creaks loudly just like yours. Eddie’s face turning into your familiar cringe.

The warmth of his calloused hand makes you jump when it comes in contact with your skin. Fingers wrapping gently around yours he helps you take the giant step into his van. Heat prickling at your cheeks too shy to meet his eyes you climb into the passenger seat. When he lets go and shuts the door you pretend like you don’t miss the feeling of his touch.

The smell of cigarettes and weed hit your nose first, there’s an underlining hint of drug store cologne that lingers faintly behind it. It was Eddie’s smell trapped and encapsulated inside the metal confines of his van. Inhaling deeply it’s oddly comforting to you, closing your eyes you let yourself enjoy it before he’s opening the drivers side door. Still not ready to meet his gaze you begin snooping around. Turning around in your seat you can’t stop grin that spreads over your face. With the back seats removed the empty space was filled with giant blankets and fluffy pillows. Warn in and well loved you could already picture him lounged out with a joint dangling from his lips lost in his music thats always being played too loud.

“Admiring my office?” You don’t realize how close his face is to yours till you turn around ready to respond.

Eddie Munson’s giant brown eyes are only inches from yours and it’s almost enough to make you forget how to breath for a second. The self control you were so proud to have doesn’t exist in the close quarters of his van, eyes dropping down to his lips it’s hard for you to look away. When his tongue licks over his bottom lip, you realize he’s doing the same thing.

“You call this an office?” Snorting your the one that breaks the tension. The breath he’d been holding fans hot across your cheeks. “This looks like Cheech and Chongs hang out spot.”

“I am a pot dealer if you don’t remember?” Shaking his head with grin he finally pulls out of your personal space. “Besides it weirdly makes the first time buyers comfortable, gotta keep them coming back sweetheart.”

Turning the key in the ignition the van shakes with the start of the engine, settling into your seat you reach over clicking your seat belt into place ignoring the feeling of Eddie’s burning stare.

“Yes?” Meeting his eyes you try to read the expression on his face.

“I’m just going to give you the agenda for the evening, you know as a good tour guide should.”Raising his eye brows he waits for you to nod encouraging him to continue.

“First, we’re gonna drive to my buddy Rick’s house so I can pick up some new supply. Then there’s just a few people I gotta drop off too, it’ll be super quick.” He waves his hand as he continues like the boring stuff was done. “But after that, I thought I could show you some of my favorite smoking spots. Places I like to go to clear my head.”

“I don’t know Munson, sounds like you’re trying to get me high in the back of your van.” corners of your eyes wrinkling you can’t seem to get enough of giving him a hard time. Others would call it flirting, but that’s not what you’re telling yourself this is.

“What? Me? You’re the perv that suggested it. I never said anything about going to the back of the van.” Eyes lighting up he nudges your shoulder with his own before putting the van in drive. “Put on your dad rock and light this joint, so far you’re a lousy co-pilot I have to say.”

You can’t stop that laugh from bubbling out of your chest, throwing your head back you haven’t felt this carefree around a person in awhile. There’s a part of you that wants to fight it but just like in your car on the way home, you’re going to let yourself feel it even if just for tonight.

——

The ride to Rick’s house was shorter then you thought it would be, but still long enough for you and Eddie to kill your first joint. With finger tips grazing each time you passed it back and fourth, your touches become more and more prominent as your inhibitions lower. Stolen glances lingering longer then they should, laughing probably a little too hard at each other’s bad jokes. The pure bliss of it all consuming you. So when you pulled up to the house that sat right at the edge of the lake, you were embarrassed of how much of you didn’t want him to leave even if it was just going to be for a few minutes.

“He’s super weird about people he doesn’t know, I’ll just be like five minutes I swear.” Leaving his keys in the ignition he gives your knee a reassuring squeeze. Rings hitting the lights on the dashboard the glint catching your eye when he pulls away.

“Putting a lot of trust in me not to steal you van.” You tease desperate to get him to stay even just for a few moments longer.

“Look, I know where you live okay? You wouldn’t get very far.” Eddie’s grinning from ear to ear when he hops out.

The smile never leaves your face when the wild haired boy runs up to the front door of the house. Taking advantage of being alone you start to really look around the inside of his van, empty packs of Marlboro Reds are littered all over the floors, there’s a half drank big gulp sitting in his cup holder, some kind of red liquid mixed with old ash from a mixture of cigarettes and joints. A guitar pick that’s similar to the one that hangs around his neck dangles from the rearview mirror. His dashboard is covered in band stickers, ranging from Iron Maiden to Wasp it was collage of all of his favorites. Running your fingers over the edges of each one you can tell they were strategically placed with the utmost care. This was Eddie’s safe space, and here he was inviting you to join him in it.

True to his word, he’s only gone for a few minutes before the loud creak of his door brings you out of your thoughts, clambering in with his toothy grin still intact.

“One stop down, two more to go.” Reaching over he puts the brown paper sack at your feet fingers brushing against your leg when he sits back up. Cheeks tingling when they linger for just a second.

There’s a brief moment of comfortable silence that falls between the two of you on your drive to his next destination. Eyeing his pack of cigarettes that sit on top of his radio you decide to be bold and help yourself. Besides, it was his fault you smoked your last one anyway.

Without missing a beat Eddie starts digging through his jean pockets for a lighter. Handing it over to you with a wink clearly not caring about your sticky fingers.

“Gimmie one too?” His eyes are soft when they look at you. Fishing out the two smokes you plop one in your mouth before reaching over waiting for him to grab his from your palm. Lighting your cigarette you look over confused when he never takes his own. His grip never leaving the steering wheel, he leans across the console with an open mouth. It takes you a minute to realize what Eddie want you to do. Unwilling to meet his gaze, with your best poker face on you slot it between his full lips. Ignoring the way they feel when they brush across your finger tips as they close around the butt. Shaky hands light his cigarette. The flame dances across his face in the darkness of the van casting shadows along his cheek bones and jawline.

Eddie Munson was handsome.

Inhaling deeply hollowing out his cheeks his eyes flicker between the road and you. Exhaling through your nose you focus on ignoring the way he’s staring at you until it’s obvious he wants your attention.

“I’m starting to realize you have a real staring problem.” You tease deciding that the only way you’ll keep your composure is by giving him a hard time.

Ignoring your remark he takes another drag of his cigarette before rolling his window down to ash.

“So what’s your damage?” It’s a loaded question when it leaves his mouth, even he knows that.

“Well you just jump straight to the point huh?” Averting your gaze you busy yourself with another hit ignoring the way you palms start to sweat at the thought of sharing with him. Too scared that once he finds out he’ll decide it’s too much.

“Come on, you’re 21 and you live on your own. You left the city to move to Hawkins of all places, there’s a reason for that.” Inhaling the last of his cigarette he flicks it out the window before rolling it back up. “Look, you tell me yours I’ll tell you mine?”

You don’t know if it’s the weed or if it’s the boy next to you, maybe even a combination of both that lets the well crafted wall you had built crumble just a little. Taking another hard drag you let the smoke sit in your lungs, the nicotine giving your brain the fuzzy feeling you were craving.

You exhale loudly before finally sharing something you’d kept close to you for so long.

“Things happened back home - consent wasn’t something that was respected at a shitty high school party. It’s been a few years but you know, it’s almost like you can’t ever fully come back from something like that. ” Refusing to meet his eyes you suck your bottom lip between your teeth nervously, despite your better judgment you keep going. Maybe it was the way he was actually listening.

“Somehow my genetics sparred me from being an alcoholic but my parents weren’t so lucky. It was all so much that I felt like I couldn’t think. Like I couldn’t breathe. I guess I just needed to get away from it all.”

Taking the last drag of your cigarette you finally let yourself glance in his direction. His face is set in a hard line, eyes staring daggers at the road, the whites of his knuckles show with the intensity of his grip on the steering wheel. Anger radiating off of him, you could practically see the smoke coming out of his ears.

Unclenching his jaw he finally responds to you. “I’m not their baby sitter.”

“What?” Voice laced with confusion you have no idea why the conversation is even taking this turn but your thankful that he doesn’t press you any further.

“The kids, I’m uhh I’m not their babysitter. I’m still in high school. You’re looking at Hawkins High’s very own super senior two years in the running.” Eddie pauses for a minute before he continues “You know with a Dad that’s in jail and a mom that died before I had the chance to really remember her what else would you expect from someone like me?” His tone is self deprecating, fingers twitching in your lap all you want to do is reach out and take his.

“Well, I didn’t stay long enough to graduate if that makes you feel any better. I dropped out, got my GED, packed whatever I could in my shitty car and drove to one of the smallest towns I could find. If anything, I’m impressed you still have the will power to go back.”

Eddie almost can’t believe the words that come out of your mouth. With not a single trace of judgment on your face, you were accepting him like he wasn’t the giant fuck up he always thought he was. Like the whole town thought he was and on occasion his Uncle. He can feel his emotions get caught in his throat. He doesn’t know why you picked Hawkins or how you even stumbled upon his shitty little trailer park, but he was thanking whatever gods brought you to him determined to get closer to you.

“Yeah?” He hates that he needs you to say it again.

“Absolutely, high school fucking sucks.” Stretching in your seat you look at him with an easy smile.

Neither one of you push each other further, having shared enough for a lifetime between the two of you in just a few short minutes. The heaviness of the secrets you both kept become a little lighter on your shoulders.

—

By the time you reach Eddie’s last stop you’re three joints deep when he leaves you in the van again. The sound of Paradise by the Dashboard light spills out of his speakers, turning the volume up you can’t help but get lost in it, this had always been one of your favorite songs growing up. Despite the complicated lyrics it reminded you of happier times. Trying your best to be Ellen Foley you don’t even realize Eddie’s walking back up.

“Jesus- you know it’s like 1am right? I could hear Meatloaf from Byer’s front door.” The annoyance disappears off his face when he sees you dancing like a stoned lunatic in his passenger seat.

Completely unaware of his presence, your arms flail around so uncoordinated he thinks you have to be trying to move like this, eyes pinched closed you’re belting out every line completely off key. There’s a part of him that wishes there was some way to record this to use it against you in future arguments and another part of him that wants it for himself, because the sight of you like this makes his heart skip a beat.

“STOP RIGHT THE- oh fuck!”

Eddie’s got a Cheshire smile when he watches the embarrassment of being caught sink onto your face.

“You done?” Biting his bottom lip hard enough to leave a mark, the corners of his mouth twitch up and you can tell he’s desperately trying to hold back a laugh.

“Oh my god, this is -fuck -this is embarrassing.” Reaching forward you go to lower the volume but Eddie slaps your hand away.

“No, no, please don’t stop on my or the neighborhood’s behalf. Keep going.” Nodding his head for you to continue his smile grows so much the corners of his eyes crease. With a roll of yours, you go for the knob again.

“Ha ha ha, very funny Munson that’s en- hey!” Another tap to your hand he bats you away again, sighing loudly you look up at him annoyed. “Eddie, what are you doing?”

Both of you stare at each other silently battling for dominance. Raising an eye brow at you he has no plans of backing down from this.

Let me sleep on it. (Will you love me forever?) Let me sleep on it. (Will love me forever?)

Eddie’s theatrics makes you jump and it takes you a minute to realize what he’s doing, it’s only when you hear how badly he’s singing that you realize he’s doing his best impression of Meatloaf’s voice. His dramatic flare has him jumping all around the empty street, gripping at his chest as he points at you.

“Eddie!!” Your hushed yell is broken by the cackle that bubbles from your chest, taking advantage of the fact that he wasn’t in the van anymore, you’re finally able to bring the music down to a normal volume.

“Hey! I was clearly in the middle of giving you the performance of a life time. Not. fucking. cool.” Pointing at you from the other side of the street he pretends to glare but the smile that pulls across his face ruins his performance.

“Get in the car before someone calls the cops, they might think someone was killing their cat out in the street.” Your grin is menacing when you wait for him to realize the insult hidden in your words.

“Last I checked, you’re the one who chose tonight’s music. Not my fault if I get a little carried away, if anything you should be happy.” Winking as he climbs back in, there’s a new kind of electricity in the air between you two.

A line you both crossed with out even trying tonight, it was just too easy to be yourselves around each other. So used to having to be ashamed of your short comings you both openly accepted them with out a second thought. The muscles in your face turning sore from the constant pull in his presence. You already know that you’ll wonder if tonight was a dream when you wake up in the morning.

“It was definitely a performance. A performance of a life time though? Jury’s still out on that.” The sound of Eddie’s laugh fills you with the kind of happiness that you thought you wouldn’t ever feel again. You wish there was a way you could save it.

“That’s fine, I have plenty more where that came from sweetheart.” The nickname sounds different this time. Less casual.

When your eyes dart to the clock on his dashboard your heart sinks a little. Despite not wanting the night to end the thought of having to wake up for work in the morning hangs over you like a giant rain cloud ready to ruin the birthday party. You wanted to live in this little bubble forever.

Eddie’s eyes follow yours to the clock and he knows exactly how you feel because he feels it too.

“Probably time we reel it in huh?” Chuckling awkwardly he waits for you to answer before he starts the engine. Part of him hoping you’ll just throw caution to the wind and want to keep the night going somehow.

“Yeah, unfortunately I started a job today, well I mean technically yesterday.” You knew you were rambling but the way his eyes kept darting towards your lips was making you lose your train of thought.

“She’s got bills to pay! No need to explain pretty girl, there’s always next time.” Eddie tries to keep it simple. Scared to come off too strong, he needed you to know he wanted this to happen again.

Biting your lip at the new endearment, you settle back in your seat too shy to meet his eyes. The low rumble of the engine brings you both back to reality as his van lurches forward.

“Thanks for tonight Eddie.” Your voice comes out quieter than you intend it to, clearing your throat you speak up a little louder. “This was more fun then I’ve had in awhile, so thank you.”

“What are best friends for?” Eddie wants to kick himself in the teeth when the words leave his mouth.

But when your hand reaches for his, small fingers slotting between his big ones it’s almost like you saw the internal battle written all over his face.

“Yeah, best friends.” You agree with a hum.

It’s a good place to start.

Chapter three

[jokers-bat]

All My Joker Headcanons (that I have so far, mostly involving 2004 Joker and UTRH Joker)

Warning, this is long but I hope you like it anyway!

2004 Joker

Likely has experience in gymnastics or dancing at some point in his past (possibly in childhood or teen years). That, or he was a theater kid.

Is capable of doing SOME good…As long as there’s something in it for him!

Can wear shoes and/or socks but prefers not to because he’s more confident when barefoot.

Chaotic evil…With maybe a small pinch of empathy?

Takes very good care of his hair. Will sometimes steel shampoo, conditioner, hair brushes, combs and other hair products to keep it clean and healthy. 

You know he’s sad or upset when he goes for hours without laughing. 

He’s often mistaken for being clueless or ignored and dismissed as some find him annoying, but he’s actually very observant and a lot smarter than others give him credit for. 

Knows Arkham Asylum inside and out…No matter what kind of cell they put him in, he always figures out how to escape. It’s like a game or puzzle to him!

He’s your best chance at escape if you and him are ever imprisoned somewhere.

He and Penguin are rivals…But he is the closest thing to a friend he’s ever had and he’s not good at expressing that.

Side note to that, he’s not good at socializing or at making or keeping friends. He’d rather pull pranks than simply ‘hangout’ with people. He’s surprised when Harley or his thugs sticks around but is secretly relieved that they did and do.

…Sometimes he’s lonely…

Still has no memory of the whole ‘Gotham cemetery’ incident, but he doesn’t like people touching his neck now. The idea of someone putting their mouth on his neck terrifies him. Penguin and Batman are the only ones who understand it though. 

Hides in his room or cell when he cries. He has a lot of bad memories with people seeing him vulnerable and doesn’t trust anyone to see him in that state. 

Under The Red Hood/Death in The Family Movies Joker 

Remember that friend your mom used to ask if you’d jump over a cliff for if they told you to do it? Yeah, HE’S that friend! 

Whatever you do, DO. NOT. Tell him you’re not afraid of anything! He will take that as a challenge and try to figure out what scares you! 

Don’t TELL HIM your phobias either! Chances are, he’ll use them to prank you. 

Side note, nothing scares Joker…Nothing really grosses him out either…You could get sick and throw up on or near him and he won’t judge you for it, but he’ll NEVER let you forget it either. 

Nuclear evil and a certified asshole.

If he considers you a friend, he’s your bodyguard for life…Seriously, he’ll offer to kill anyone who bullies or harms you. 

Not gossipy, but loves witnessing drama and absolutely will not help the situation. For example:

Y/N: “Joker, do something!!” 

Joker: “I am doing something!” (heats up popcorn in the microwave) 

He loves his crowbar and thinks he can solve most problems with it. Usually anything that could involve hitting someone with it or use it to break into something.

You know it’s bad and/or you’re in big trouble if Joker is concerned.

Secretive about his own past. Open about his brief time as the Red Hood, but nothing before that. Either he doesn’t remember his life before that or he keeps it to himself. 

Finds everything funny. Life is never boring for Joker!

No one knows if he feels sadness, fear, or regret. If he does feel them, he doesn’t show it…

Reliable horror movie buddy! Will watch scary movies with you any day and will aways bring snacks.You’ll scream, but he’ll laugh. For him, horror is comedy!

When you call him, his response is somewhere along the lines of: “Whatever it is, I didn’t do it!” or “It wasn’t me!”

Never give this man anything made out of glass!

One of the few who can stay calm and level-headed in serious situations. 

Usually gives unhelpful and borderline homicidal advice. Some highlights: “Why don’t you just send him a text that says ‘Fuck you, I’m staying home today?’”, “We can always kill him.”

Other comments he’s made: “I don’t know whose crazier. Me, or the people who hangout with me.”, “Why would you trust ME with anything?”

Joker Headcanons in general: 

Being friends with Joker is not easy.

He’s the biggest asshole you’ve ever known but he’ll remember your birthday, your favorite treats and your interests till the day he dies. 

Halloween and April 1st are always an adventure with Joker! 

He might not have accepted Batman’s offer to redeem him in TKJ, but he appreciated it. The man he was before may be gone, but there’s just enough of him left to know Joker couldn’t change that easily. 

That same part of him hates himself and what he’s become more than anything else. 

More than likely has a lot of unresolved issues. Past traumas, possibly mental health issues, etc.

Even if Joker did accept Batman’s offer and genuinely wanted to redeem himself, he has so many bad habits to get rid of and even more demons to face. Not necessarily impossible, but would be extremely difficult and might not be completely successful. 

If he has any family, he doesn’t have contact with them. Mostly for their own safety, not putting it past his enemies to go after them for revenge against him, but more so because he doesn’t want them to know who he is or what he’s done (basically, they think he’s dead and don’t know he’s become the Joker). 

Even if someone DID care about Joker and he cared about them, he’d drive them away because, one, he doesn’t himself (either he’ll hurt them or they’ll somehow get hurt because of him), two, he knows he’s dangerous and that he’s an evil monster and doesn’t think anyone could or would actually care about him, and finally, being hated and feared is easier than navigating relationships. 

He does in fact have feelings for Batman but it’s very complicated.

Joker should really have a non-lethal, non-criminal hobby-and he probably does…But he doesn’t have enough free time to do them…

He’s the guy who’d piss off politically powerful people just for the fun of it.

[rosze-v]

when spring comes again

pairing: Sanzu Haruchiyo x Reader

synopsis: Your Haru, becomes Sanzu.

tw: breaking up, angst, vulnerable sanzu, bonten sanzu, mention of killing, mention of drugs, mention of liquor, mention of blood, just sad sad sanzu :(

w.c: 0.9k

a/n: Halu! Man my emotions are all over the place and I was listening to an Urban Zakapa song called I don’t love you and I was crying as if I have anyone to not love :”D  actually I was writing for Bokutou but somehow the writing felt weird. I'm still going to post it later. I think I need to start making fluff again cause bro I’m pumping out angst like I’m breaking up with someone. ANYWAY! Women’s rights and choices all the way! Fuck those who say otherwise!!!!

“Do you still love me?”.

“Yes, I do.” You said, yet a string in you tugged painfully, another lie on your tongue. You gently brush his pink bangs to the side, thumb lingering on his scars, gently stroking it. Eyes, a sea of blue and green staring directly into you, feeling as if its peering into your soul. Haruchiyo’s lips tremble, as he clasps your hand that was on his cheek and kisses its palm. His eyes close and open, yet now were filled with tears.

“If you do…, why won’t you say I love you?”.

So, he has caught on. You could only stare into his leaking eyes, another string tugged, very painfully. You gulped, trying to think on why. Do you love him anymore? Not really, but why? That’s the thing, you don’t really know why.

“I'm sorry Haru…”.

“Are you going to leave me?”. You pulled the hand he clasped to your lap as you look down. Wondering on how you’re suppose to answer him.

It was indeed bizarre, when you have realised you stopped loving him. It was sudden, cold and lonely, yet you can’t find it in you to leave him. Haru is a broken person, pieces of his heart litter around his feet and yet half of it is in your hand.

Haru didn’t do anything wrong particularly. It was just you can’t keep up with him as he can’t stay down with you. He’s always so full of life at the wrong things, fighting till his lips bust open, revving up his motorcycle engines on the road and that was when he was younger and a bit more innocent.

Yet now you can’t find even a speck of the innocence in him, not even a petal of the man you used to love. Drugs is a staple for him, he said it boggles up his mind so he doesn’t need to think. Liquor burns his throat every night, just so he can forget about the things he has done. The worst is the blood on his hands, the fact that your once glowing ray of light become this killing machine was devastating.

You thought you could handle him, handle him at his worst, yet the one at their worst is you. When was the last time the both of you have a time of your own, just maybe spending time to go to a café or even watch Netflix together? When was the last time you actually have a good and long conversation with him about his day, your day? Though the worst is the feeling of not being able to stop him from doing all this.

The guilt gnaws into your mind, leaving you trembling and scared at your own thoughts. You have loved Haru all your life yet this is not your love anymore, it’s not Haru anymore.

But nothing hurts more than looking at the glimpses of Haru in the eyes of the man in front of you right now. You could see the eyes, wet from tears that look like Haru. You could feel the tapping of Haru’s finger on your hand, three times, an indication of I love you. With a sob, your shoulder trembles slowly as tears run free on your cheeks.

“ I love you so much Haru… I truly do… but where is my Haru?”. Your hands gripped at his shirt as he sobs, shaking his head gently.

“I'm still here (y/n), please… I'm still here…”.

“No. You’re not Haru anymore. I… I told you to stop… stop before I lose Haru and yet you let it happen.” You pull away from him, standing up to leave when he quickly hugged you from behind, trapping you in his arms, his face in the crook of your neck.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry but I can’t help it, the drugs, the killing is my life now…”. He spins you around to face him as he gripped your shoulder, a craze look of desperation on his face.

“But I’m still me! I’m still your Haru!”. You look into his eyes again, trying to find any of Haru but it was apparent, he’s gone. You shook your head as you pull away from him.

“If you… if you truly love me, let me go. Let me go and let me live.”

“NO! If you love me, you’ll stay! You promised! I know I’m not who I used to be but there’s nothing I can do about it!”.

“I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!! I… don’t … love you anymore Sanzu.” His eyes widen, completely baffled at your words. Never in a million years he would have thought those words would fall from your lips because he knew how much you love him. In a deeper, darker part of him understand for so long already why you don’t love him anymore, no, it was Sanzu you don’t love anymore.

He understands it so much yet its so hard to let go the only place of love for him. The place where he can return to and feel slightly normal. Yet its unfair to you, to you who remain in love and light to be tainted by the blood red he is.

And so, its okay. He’ll let you leave because he loves you so much, he loves you so much that he’s willing to swim the red all alone. Maybe one day, when Haru comes again, he’ll come for you again, like he did during the spring of your childhood.

[tsunderedoctor]

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!!!! Ahh!! Please more about the law personality HC thing!! *-* we need to hear more of your analysis purple-chan!! 💜💜

You did it soo accurately imo! I can totally see him like that! 😭🥺

Sending love to youu !! ❤️ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

I'm going to do how Law would treat the reader headcanons cause I think those would be more fun lol

Law is a difficult man to love, not only does he have strong boundaries he keeps up to make sure he or the person he cares for doesn’t get hurt, he also refuses to open up about his feelings. He’s afraid of being intimate and vulnerable with you out of fear you will be used against him or worse; die. He has nightmares sometimes of you being shot to death by Doflamingo, or being used as some tool in order to get to him, being tortured in some new and unexplained way. No matter how much you tell him it’s just in his head, he doesn’t believe you, if he can think it, just imagine what his enemies think.

You think his fears of you getting hurt are bad, just wait until you learn he has fears of you hurting him! Law literally watched the World Government send Marines to kill his family and loved ones, people who as a child, he was taught that they would protect him. He had no sense of trust anymore and when it comes to love, he is just a scared child who is ready to attack at any given time. 

I want to take a moment to talk about Erik Erikson (a German psychologist who theorized the stages of life a person goes through, if trauma occurs in a certain stage, the stage won’t be meant until the trauma is healed) and Law. Law was 10-12 when most of the trauma happened in his life. During this time a child is learning what their purpose is in the world and what motivates them to keep going. Law never had a chance to reach that peak, limiting his next stages of development; which funny enough is love. Due to not knowing what he was meant to do in the world, he never came to love things or people correctly. And this shows! In my opinion, Law used sex as a way to cope with the emptiness inside from not knowing what he wanted in the world and since he didn’t know how to exactly love people, he pushed them away once he got what he needed. 

Law is barely coming into conclusion of what he wants in the world and what his purpose is (finding the true meaning of the Will of D), and until he does, unfortunately Law will never be able to love someone correctly (this hurts me too-). The good news is, he is learning to cope and accept people for who they are (his crew!), and I believe now that he does have a purpose, Law will slowly open up more. 

This means to me, Law won’t be in a relationship for a while, but is more willing in the Wano era. He might not have taken your love for him as seriously as before, but now he is starting to come to terms with it, and well it confuses him. We have to remember, this man planned on dying back in Dressrosa, do you think he had time to worry about his feelings for you?? No! That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you, you just weren’t his priority at the time. Now that he knows he wants to live and what his purpose is, he can start moving forward to understanding love and opening up. 

This is going to take a LONG time though, he’s literally 13 years emotionally delayed!! Let the poor man get his shit together first. He’s going to need someone with patience and understanding that somedays he just doesn’t know how he feels about you and that’s okay (for now)! Be there for him and he will love you in his own ways! 

Speaking of love, he shows it by acts of service and quality time! He struggles with words and actions, never knowing what to say or do to let you know he cares about you. However, he does notice when your coffee or tea is getting low, or when you pulled a muscle and could use the extra help. He loves when you come and visit him in his room while he reads or works. These little moments make the man feel more willing to open up to you at his own time. 

Loving Law is an extremely difficult task, but it can be done at a slow and steady pace. Give him time to understand his trauma and how it affected him, let him learn what he wants from the world and what he can give back in return. Before you know it the day will come when he knocks on your door, thanking you for being there for him, eyes sore from crying over everything and arms stretched out, ready to take you in. 

[fangirlinglikeabus]

semi-serious sand thoughts:

i’m not actually opposed to servalan/tarrant conceptually, at least within this very specific scenario...part of that i think is that if you’re going to do a story that touches on a pain servalan experienced when she was very young, bringing in a Fresh Faced Youth to evoke that period of life works. also i get the impression that getting to play the dashing hero type does appeal to tarrant - see assassin, where he’s absolutely swayed by piri being apparently emotionally vulnerable and likely to need him. so like at the very least there’s some sort of precedent within the show. the fact that he’s so QUICKLY attracted by servalan’s tears adds to some of the ambiguity surrounding to what extent she’s manipulating him because surely she knows that, despite himself, this would be an effective way to win him over - and i’m not 100% convinced that would be the case with any other character. do i think all of this is entirely realised within the episode? uh...not sure. but i do think there’s reasoning behind the whole thing.

also i just think she deserves a boy toy or two idc

speaking of tarrant. love when servalan says he saved her life and he replies ‘we’re all entitled to one really big mistake.’ like buddy you are going to make one WAY bigger by the end of this episode.

adored that final scene of servalan thinking over both keller and tarrant before crushing the water cube tarrant gave her in her hand to get rid of the last of the sand. mainly because that looks like it could surely cut you, so it just comes across as this almost self-destructive act with which she closes off the potential for emotional vulnerability which was opened up by the sand trapping them. destroying both the gift tarrant gave her and the thing that brought them together. he remains unsure how sincere she was, she gets rid of any evidence she WAS sincere and in emotional pain - and to do so she breaks glass RIGHT into the palm of her hand.

(also potentially thinking of this in relation to ‘i don’t care about us’ and her placing tarrant’s gun up to her head and daring him to shoot her - which is pretty intense even if she guesses he won’t do it. women will literally murder their way into the presidency of an authoritarian state instead of going to therapy)

another good scene, this time with the scorpio crew: soolin theorising they’re being affected by that alien mind that got onto the ship through cally and vila snapping at her and storming off, only for her to admit to avon when he queries it that she doesn’t actually believe what she just said. just...up there with her telling orac ‘you wouldn’t know where to start’ when he offers her her heart’s desires in terms of what i find to be Tantalising Soolin Character Moments.

i’ve now also watched gold and while i think it’s a very solid episode (avon losing it laughing at the end when the entire crew are pissed at him because he risked their lives for a trap that got them nothing and netted servalan a bunch of money?? man has Reached His Fucking Limit and is now firmly Past His Fucking Limit) it does disappoint me a bit that dayna and tarrant seem to be largely interacting like usual. don’t get me wrong, i do like seeing the crew act like a competent unit and i’m not asking for a big blow up, but they’re probably two of the closer members of the crew, Away Mission Buddies, and he just hooked up with the woman who killed her father. that's a massive betrayal by someone she thought of as a friend, and i’d have liked a bit more obvious tension there even if it was just in small moments of interaction

i honestly had a great time with sand. i think every blake’s 7 member should have an episode where they’re locked in a room with servalan, i wanna see what would happen to each of them

[thekrows-nest]

(anon)

Krowspiracy anon you can't just say 'I thought of scary new possibilities for Eliyah' and not TELL me what those could be.

Hehe >:)

Alright. So I’ve raised all the red flags about Eliyah’s behaviour towards Gabby, how he approached her in a way she really didn’t like and he still subtly won’t back off, and how he now seems to be going after Dove because they’re close to Gabby.

Plus his photography work giving him an alibi to take pictures at places and times that would otherwise be suspicious. And the long range lens. And the ability to lure Dove off alone with offers of shoots. With all that equipment maybe he has a van or a trunk.

Well imagine he does get Dove to go on a date and Gabby secretly follows them to watch out for Dove? Eliyah must know she might do this. I was wondering what if that was the aim? Either to catch her and make her look ‘crazy and paranoid’ to Dove? Catch her and force her into an awkward situation where she has to spend time and tolerate him or kick up a fuss and admit to spying? Get her in trouble with the law as revenge? Or worse, a trap.

LT would hopefully know Gabby’s plan and hopefully she wouldn’t put herself at risk for her friend. But following her friend would take her physically away from LT and make her vulnerable to being snatched if Eliyah is going for that.

I headcanon the theoretical date or “coffee to ask him questions” being in a quiet park or somewhere ‘scenic’, with Gabby watching them from a hiding spot and Krow also there watching everyone with binoculars from a decent distance. (Hiding looks suspicious so he’s ‘birdwatching’.)

I haven’t decided whether LT would be available or at work, and if he knows Gabby’s whereabouts. (I can’t see her entering a risky situation without telling LT, or him disagreeing so she has to hide it. I hope? I don’t know how open she is even with LT about whatever happened and how much they agree about Eliyah. And she especially would be wary of this guy. But say for drama she did argue with LT about it, she underestimated Eliyah, or something unexpected happened.)

A chain reaction could go down quite dramatically if Gabby did follow them alone and Eliyah did pull something, and it could have a number of different outcomes because every person’s goals for that situation clash. It would be a battle royale. I could write a bunch of endings for this story but not necessarily good ones.

I’m missing some important info on Gabby and LT (and to a lesser extent Eliyah) but depending on various things it could work out badly for everyone involved and I can’t decide who the worst affected would be. Some of it could even be down to luck.

Also re the question of trusting Eliyah vs Krow… As much as I openly simp for Krow’s cute backside in a safe fictional setting (yes I know you’re gonna expose that ask now) I don’t trust either of them. I’m not blind to Krow’s horror side and he gets genuinely very scary if you think on it too hard.

Kidnapping is terrifying even in a fictional setting (I like the thriller story and complex characters. IRL Krow wouldn’t see me for dust and I’d be carrying). The only reason I’d pick was if I couldn’t evade both and had to choose who would be less likely to harm or kill me.

Which, while more dangerous from what’s known, and much harder to escape, would be Krow. He at least is known to have some limits, he would treat you humanely, and can be somewhat predicted or negotiated with unless unhinged. Above all he would let you live. There is still a chance to submit and hope for rescue or wait for a very slim chance to escape. (Good luck. I have an inkling of where Dove would be held.)

But I can’t guess what Eliyah’s motives are or what he’s capable of if he did turn out to be bad. I wouldn’t want to work it out for myself.

Especially if I/Dove were disposable and only being used as bait to get to Gabby.

All in all Krow is the more competent and dangerous one but there’s an undercurrent to Eliyah that feels like if something were to happen he has a real chance to turn nasty. Or he might panic with a poor outcome for you. Or you’d have barriers to justice.

Personally I/Dove would be just nice enough to Krow in a casual setting to prevent him escalating. Not agreeing yet means he still thinks he has a chance so he stays placid. Holding out for longer gives enough time for the insane jealousy to show, which is like his one weakness and Dove’s one warning.

Agreeing to an actual date with Krow should be reserved for dire situations, so he’s happily planning an outfit while Dove does a midnight flit. Or even better he’s travelling in the opposite direction while Dove is getting away.

I wouldn’t go on a date or even really talk with Eliyah. I wouldn’t even try and sus him out further. Why? For what? It’s not worth it.

Sure, maybe we don’t even know him and are assuming. But there’s something that really sticks in my craw about dudes feeling entitled to shoot their shot, acting injured and thinking you owe them a chance to change your mind when that’s not something you even want or feel comfortable with. It’s a form of boundary pushing.

You don’t know just by looking at someone whether or not they’re a good guy. (Google ’Shrodingers Rapist). And the manipulative little ‘well get to know me then!’ is just another pushy foot in the door for a date you don’t necessarily even want.

His brand of creepy niceguy seems more common in real life than the movie villain/edge case of Krow, so it’s more threatening on an instinctive level.

I just don’t like Eliyah’s vibes. I don’t like him. Something is screaming at me that he’s off, in the exact way Gabby feels about Krow. I don’t like what I’ve seen of his behaviour, there’s red flags, Gabby knows Eliyah better than Dove does and Gabby hasn’t been wrong about Krow.

Like she says, some people deserve one chance and this asshole doesn’t. If he’s not dangerous well then that sucks but I won’t apologise for exercising caution. It’s not worth the risk.

Krowspiracy anon again coming in with some pretty neato theories.

This is all really interesting, to me, in how you are sussing out not simply Eliyah, but what all everyone would be doing in various scenario's.

Interesting takes. Is it all true? Maybe. Maybe not. :3

In any case, the fact you spend so much time muddling on my lil OC's and this goofy verse I've been (slowly) making is very flattering.

Even if at some points I gotta have you stop. /j /lh

[gumnut-logic]

@greywake asked:

Are you doing @squiddokiddo ‘s Thunderbirds Ask Game? If so, I'm asking you 14 and 17 😁

Aww, thank you for asking :D

14. Tell me about a headcanon you love, dislike and have a neutral opinion on.

Hmmm…. I am very much a what ever floats your boat kinda gal. All for whatever is fun, but if it is not my thing, please respect my preference in not engaging. On the flipside of that, my life is several types of chaos due to how my brain works, so a good percentage of the time, if I haven’t engaged, it’s because I was doing something else :D

Like evading this question :D

Okay, dislike – this is with no disrespect to anyone else’s thoughts on this and is not calling for agreement/disagreement. Just my preference.

Virgil’s muscles – the boi has muscles, but they are working muscles, not showboating muscles. He does use the gym, but you won’t find him with ripped abs and bulging everything (yes, I know I drew him with abs once). The boi builds muscles for work, not for show.

Neutral opinion – Virgil ships. I’m very much a ‘what if’ writer. Although I have written a lot of Virgil/Kayo and I do adore the dynamics and stories that developed from that ‘what if’, that does not mean I am solely V/K and that is all I like. Admittedly, it was hard to switch from writing a lot of V/K to writing Virgil/Brains, talk about taking a handbrake turn on a wet road in the dark, but I am open to trying different things and I do read different things. I will admit that I’m not hugely into Scayo because they tend to explode and kill each other in my head, but for Virg, I’m pretty open. Have you read Chidorixblossom’s Virgil/Ray series? It’s lovely. And who knows where this Sweetapple adventure of mine is ending up. About the only thing in the whole ship department that doesn’t feel right is Virgil being very casual about things of the heart. I really don’t think he'd be a serial one nighter. I’ve always written him as loving with everything he has and in it for the long term. Don’t mind a bit of Virgil/Cass either. I really should do something about that :D

A headcanon that I love - I could put the Virgil/coffee headcanon here, because I use it a lot, despite not inventing it. It is just fun to play with.

But instead, I’m going to add a less common headcanon that I did invent. Halfway through ‘Fischler vs. Tracy’ I needed a plot device to lower Virgil’s barriers a bit (he has a lot, though they aren’t as typical as Scott’s). Enter ‘a sensitivity to medication’ :D This one has perpetuated a little, I know I’ve clung to it on occasion and it appears in several of my fics because it is convenient and soooo much fun to write. It triggers humour, angst, vulnerability, a whole swath of emotional angles to play with, and yes, I’m totally guilty of this self indulgence :D

17. Thunderbirds is getting another reboot and you have full control over production. What are you going to do?

Hire everyone who did the 2015 production to continue the story.

Start up a second series for an older audience, upping the science/logic/emotion, but not increasing violence or sex or anything like that. Just a safe animated show for adults.

Shower them with money to enable all the shots we couldn’t get in the original production. Clothing changes, candid shots, slice of life, and family stuff.

Do a better job of marketing to gain a wider audience. Target better – many fans of TOS didn’t even know this one existed. Same for the toys, better marketing - aka, throw more money and expertise at this part of the enterprise.

Anything else I want to do :D Do I get a pay rise with this, cos I really need one. I wanna go to Aotearoa one day :D

[itsbopp]

What If: You Were a Member of the Brotherhood of Steel - Fallout 4 | Headcanon

SUMMARY: How would Cait, Curie, and Piper react to you being a part of the Brotherhood of Steel?

WARNINGS: Lewdness from Cait, threats of violence, general crudeness (probably), voicing judgement towards a group of people.

WORD COUNT: 1578

CAIT

Honestly? She digs that. It’s clear that the Irish lass isn’t the most fond of synths, no matter how many roam around in your settlements, making it their personal goal to help out as much as possible. She doesn’t like those robotic abominations, and since BOS doesn’t either, they’re automatically on her good side. Although, even if she shares the same opinion when it comes to synths and eradicating them, she thinks that you would be a better leader than Elder Maxson. He’s pompous, doesn’t often like to keep an open mind when it comes to things other than robots and his hatred for them, and he assumes way too much for her liking. So, she thinks you’d fit the role much better.

“I don’t know how that man is even a leader. Everytime you talk to him, it always makes me wanna punch him square in the jaw because of how arrogant he is.” 

“Cait. Please behave.” You sighed and looked at her, your expression showing exhaustion, considering she had complained about the leader many times before.

The redhead looked your way and furrowed her eyebrows in subtle defense, “You can’t tell me ya don’t agree.”

“I do, but, y’know… shush. I don’t want to possibly lose my job,” you grumbled, which earned an offended frown from your partner. You’d apologize for telling her what to do later…

Being involved with a group who have similar ideals as her isn’t the only thing she likes about them. When it comes to the uniforms, she won’t lie and say that she doesn’t love seeing you wear that tight-fitting Brotherhood of Steel outfit. Listen, it’s not her fault that the clothing helps accentuate your figure and highlight parts of your body that make her green eyes linger for longer than they should. For once, it’s not her accusing you of staring at her butt, but the other way around. Although, sometimes she’ll try her hardest to make it seem as if she wasn’t, and other times, well… just hope that there’s a room nearby, unless you like the thrill of other people possibly catching the both of you in a vulnerable position. 

“Cait, people are near…!” You pushed her hands away from your hips as she tried to press herself against your back. All while you were working on your power armor, too, which definitely derailed you from actually completing the task. You were just thankful that not a lot of people were around.

Like somewhat of a leech, she quickly moved close to you again, her palms attaching themselves to your waist. “Well, darlin’, then you might want to find us a room to hide in. I don’t think I can keep my hands to myself,” she whispered into your ear. A shiver went down your spine, as her hands inched lower and squeezed your hips once more.

CURIE

They’re probably the only faction that she despises, other than the Institute. She is not a naturally hateful person, but these people seem to be one of the few exceptions. How could someone so quickly cut to the assumption that all synths are mindless machines that want to do nothing but kill and wreak havoc? To put it simply, she doesn’t like the fact that you’re a part of the Brotherhood of Steel. It’s nice that you’re not like them and keep an open mind when it comes to whether or not a certain synth is bad, but does that really make the situation better? Not really. If you care about her enough, then chances are, you’ll probably end up leaving them and settling down with the Railroad instead, or some other faction that accepts synths. 

“What will you do now, mon amour?” the French synth questioned softly as she followed you out of the Boston Airport. Her eyes couldn’t help but fall on the backpack you were carrying, and a subtle twinge of guilt hit her stomach.

A shrug came from you, along with a thoughtful hum. “Move on, find a different faction that’s accepting of synths. I heard the Railroad is the perfect place for that.” You slowed down suddenly and glanced over your shoulder to give the woman a warm smirk, before you lifted a hand away from the strap of your backpack and held it out for her to take it. You weren’t mad, and the simple gesture and expression showcased that, which allowed the robot to relax and reciprocate the action.

Although she finds her faux heart malfunctioning when you show off fighting skills you learned after being in the Brotherhood of Steel for so long, she still doesn’t find herself appreciating the group in any way. They’re evil, and in her eyes, practically downright barbaric to so quickly murder a robot that just wants to be free and live as if they’re an actual human being. She doesn’t see the harm in that, and she finds herself actively pondering, often, on why exactly Elder Maxson and his people think differently. She can understand having to take out a synth that is trying to hurt them, but when said synth is innocent and they’re just… murdered? No, she can’t begin to understand where these monsters are coming from.

“Why must zat man hold so much hatred towards us? I don’t understand…” Curie was busy pacing back and forth inside the small room you had bought for the night with the last bit of caps you had left. Her emotions were still new to her, but the one she was currently feeling, frustration, was something she became well-acquainted with after meeting Maxson.

“It’s hard to get someone as stubborn as Arthur to understand that his stance on synths is a bit ignorant. I wish I could help him understand, but I can’t. He’s dead set on his beliefs, and there’s nothing anyone can do to change them.” It sounded like you had rehearsed what you said, but with a quick glance from your companion, it was clear that it was diarrhea of the mouth, and you were just saying what had been on your mind for quite a while.

PIPER

This woman is not at all a fan. Like Curie, she is not very fond of the Brotherhood of Steel, but her dislike towards them is mainly because of the fact that they seem to think they’re hot shit, and they also seem way too intense for her liking. Of course, you’re an exception. She thinks you’re a sweetheart, but that’s what surprised her so much when you told her you were a part of their team. How could you: someone so kind-hearted, loving, and selfless, join up with a group of people that only want to kill machines and anything else that isn’t considered human, or on their side? As far as she’s concerned, you’re not with them because you have the same ideals, and you’re only there because you got free power armor. 

“They’re useful, even if their views and opinions aren’t exactly shed in the most positive light,” you said as you walked down the Prydwens upper deck corridor, heading over to where your personal suit of power armor was. 

“Why join people you don’t agree with, though? I know you’re not the type to follow others, Blue. You lead. You lead the Minutemen, as well as all those other factions and settlements, so why stay and refuse to stand up against something you don’t believe in?” Piper was quick to jog up to your side and look at you with a furrowed, tense expression that was full of confusion. She awaited some sort of response, but all she got was the reaction of you flickering your eyes towards her quickly, before moving your attention down to the ground, clearly struck by her words.

A lot of your conversations really just consisted of Piper shedding her discontent towards them. Overtime, it got to a point where you honestly started to second guess your loyalty there, and it wasn’t because of some manipulation tactic from your companion or anything, either. The perks of having gear and weapons and ammo was nice, but was it worth it, considering you were with people who didn’t have all the same morals as you? Sure, you could compromise or just not see eye to eye on certain things and leave the topic of said thing alone, but did that suddenly make it better? You also didn’t want to start putting your relationship at risk, solely because you were wanting to stay with people that had things you probably could find elsewhere if you looked hard enough.

“Listen, Blue. I’m not telling you or asking you to leave the Brotherhood of Steel, but just think about what they stand for. Is that something you want to be a part of?” Piper asks, before continuing as she reaches out and takes a hold of your hand. “You know I’ll support you, Y/n, no matter what. But I just want to make sure that this is something you feel confident in giving your loyalty to.” 

“I… I don’t know, Piper. I need time to think. About the brotherhood, about what I’m doing, and if it's something I genuinely want to be involved in.” Your hand stayed glued to hers after you squeezed it. In response, she gave you a small, gentle smile, before giving your palm a soft squeeze back.

“Like I said, Blue. I’ll support you. Take your time.” 

[gatoraid]

Also going through Maya’s route again really drove home the parallels with Maya and Aziz’s routes.

Whereas all the other parallel routes (Talia & Conrad, Jo & Viv, Imani & Alyosha) share a lot of similar events, plotlines or scenes, I feel like the parallels in Maya & Aziz’s routes are more thematic than anything. (Spoilers)

In Maya’s route, we learn that she was once in love and in some kind of relationship with the goddess Persephone. During the game Maya is still very much stuck in a toxic situationship with her. Persephone claims to love Maya and expects to Maya love her back, but she only uses that as an excuse to make Maya do her bidding. Even if once upon a time Maya might have had feelings for Persephone, she has clearly moved on emotionally. But she also feels like she cannot get out, both because she feels a huge debt for Persephone for helping to pay for her transition, and also because Persephone treats her like property and will not let her go.

Then we get to Aziz’s route, where Sam is also very much struggling to get away from another goddess, Inanna. It’s supposed to be a working relationship, but Inanna clearly acts like she owns Sam and doesn’t accept a no for an answer from him.

Just like many other gods and goddesses we meet in the story, Persephone and Inanna seem to view S.Humans as servants, barely human and not really having agency. Free will and being able to choose your destiny and how you live is one of the overarching themes in the whole game, and many of the gods don’t seem to think S.Humans are allowed to have that. At one point, Farah wonders “Do all gods see everyone like that? Or is it just us S.Humans?”

Maya and Persephone’s relationship also parallels that of Sam and Aziz’s, and shows how badly loving a god could turn out. Maya and Sam both have a romantic history with a god, even though Sam has been in denial about Aziz being one. Whereas Persephone will readily manipulate Maya’s emotions, uses her “love” for Maya as blackmail material and won’t accept any kind of disobedience, I feel like Aziz does not actively try to stop Sam from making his own choices and does not try to play mind games with him. Sure, he is very open about pursuing Sam and wanting him to come back to both him and Inanna, but I never really got the vibe that Aziz would have tried to manipulate Sam.

I think it’s also interesting how many of the gods seem to view S.Humans as not fully human because they view them as obedient dolls, whereas Aziz says that he sees Sam as not fully human, because to him Sam is something more than regular humans.

To me, it feels like someone like Persephone or Inanna probably could never separate their relationships from wanting to rule over others, whereas with Aziz it feels like he does have his own twisted way of loving, but it’s on different terms from mortals. He is drawn to Sam’s destructive potential and pushes him to fulfill that potential even if that is probably not the thing that would be best for Sam. He is even pretty flippant about the prospect of Sam dying, because reincarnation is a thing and a god has no trouble waiting for someone to be born again. From a human pov these things are a bit ??? but from a god’s pov they probably make total sense.

Anyway I don’t mean to excuse Aziz’s douchebag behavior or anything but I really felt like his feelings and vulnerability for Sam were genuine, especially contrasted with Persephone and Maya’s situation. And even though being a god explains a lot about his character it also doesn’t mean that he is exactly the same as some of the other gods.

Also, thinking about the “good” endings where the lesbians (Maya and Farah) say ‘fuck this shit, let the gods fight it out themselves and we can get outta here’, whereas the chaotic bisexuals (Sam and Aziz) decide that the only way to win is to kill the old gods and then proceed to become just as bad if not worse than them 😂

[crazyunsexycool]

Could we get a lil snippet or drabble of y/n being really reckless and almost getting herself killed and Bucky either sees it or finds out and him being mad at y/n for it 🥺

Warning: mentions of injuries.

:readmore:

It had been close to 3:00 am when he got the call from Clay. He could feel his heart stop the moment he heard those dreaded words.

“She’s in the emergency room. It’s not looking good.”

He was already getting dressed when he saw Clay’s name pop up on his phone. Bucky knew it couldn’t be good if he was the one calling.

Now Bucky was pacing back and forth in front of the hospital room door waiting to see you. Their friends were down the hall in a waiting room but no one could get him to move. He stopped when the door opened and the nurse allowed him entry. The breath had been knocked out of him when he saw you in the hospital bed.

You looked so fragile and vulnerable. There were cuts and bruises on every visible part of your body. Bucky could see the bruise on your neck from when you were choked. You had a split lip, one of your eyes was shut completely because it was so swollen, a broken nose, broken ribs and you had been stabbed in the stomach.

Bucky could see though that your knuckles were bruised too and he knew you didn’t go down without a fight. That doesn’t mean he couldn’t be angry.

“Bucky?” Your voice sounded as broken as you looked.

“I’m here, Y/N.”

“My first name? Uh-oh I must be in trouble.”

“This isn’t time for jokes. What were you thinking going after hydra without being ready?”

“I didn’t. I was defending myself from-“ you begin to cough and Bucky rushes towards you beside and helps you drink some water. “Rumlow.”

“You went against him by yourself? Are you insane?” His volume of his voice rising with every word. You know he was just worried but there was no need for him to overreact.

“If I could I would roll my eyes right now. This is part of the job. Let him celebrate all he wants. Next time he won’t be so lucky.”

“As if I’m going to let you do anything.”

“Let me?”

You did your best to sit up but it was proving to be both difficult and painful. Reluctantly Bucky steps up next to the bed again and helps you get settled more comfortably.

“You can barely sit up. You’re out of the fight for a while, you aren’t doing shit.”

“I’ll do whatever I want.”

“NO YOU WON’T!” He bellowed as he glared at you from the foot of the bed. His grip on the footboard slightly cracking it. Your heart monitor starts beeping faster and for the first time since walking into the room Bucky’s tense frame sags but only slightly. His eyes softer when he looked at you again. “I’m not going to lose you, I can’t. Especially because of Rumlow.”

A nurse walks in to check up on you and in the middle of answering her questions Bucky had walked out. Once she’s gone the next people to walk in are Clay, Steve and Sam.

“Where’s Buck?” Sam asks.

“He walked out. I thought he was with you.”

“We didn’t see him.”

You heart monitor gives you away again and Clay moves to hold your hand.

“Rumlow.”

With that both Sam and Steve walk out knowing where Bucky will be and hoping they’ll get there fast.

[korereapers]

Title: Never alone (aka, the "get together" fic)

Fandom: Original, D&D

Ship: Ohmrom von Allmen/Barkilara

Rating: Mature, almost explicit

AO3

It’s not often that Ohmrom has indulged himself lately.

Since he found that dagger, there is a voice in his head sometimes, someone that looks at whatever he is looking at the moment, but sometimes, more often than not, Ohmrom can feel Barkilara looking at him.

He felt him closer than ever when Ohmrom managed to have his first time, his mind divided between the man with him and the voice inside of his head, clearly amused, clearly… interested. Interested, in general, because Ohmrom wouldn’t dare to assume otherwise. Maybe Barkilara just found him entertaining, clumsy and emotional. Maybe he found him ridiculous. Maybe…

He sighs against the wall of his bedroom. Joining the Guild wasn’t his first option when he left everything he knew, when he left Natura with a letter and a pool of guilt inside of his stomach. Still, it’s useful. He is meeting people, lots of people, people that make his loneliness more bearable, but that make his guilt even worse. Still, he still can pretend for a little longer, that everything is fine, that the past won’t come back to him to grab him by his neck until he has no other option than to finally react.

His mind goes back to Barkilara, who used to introduce himself as a god, a god of war, maybe trying to tempt Ohmrom into being his “paladin”. A devil has no paladins, though, and sadly for both of them, lies always have really, really short legs. It’s pretty apparent what Barkilara may want from him, but still, he doesn’t press him. Not for a pact, anyways. He shows him images, images of himself losing himself to rage, murdering and maiming in the name of justice. The sweetest temptation for someone who has been taught to serve justice, to protect the innocent.

Only that, deep down, Ohmrom knows that he is not a paladin, and those images do more harm than good.

He has been taught not to trust anything even remotely related to the Hells. And it’s not that he trusts Barkilara, not completely. The devil drinks eagerly from his bloodstream, the pain bearable, but making him feel exposed, vulnerable. Barkilara has a bad habit of reminding him how sweet his blood tastes, how delicious he is, and he should feel revolted, but a part of him… doesn’t.

Onir be damned, that part of him is what keeps him awake at night, thinking about a voice that visits him from time to time, more often as they get to know each other. He thinks about his voice, deep and commanding, about hunger with no mouth, about being the devil’s little bloodbag that he very dearly takes care of. Because he senses it, he feels it, his protectiveness, the deals he makes without him really knowing what’s happening to protect him. How he takes his words into consideration, his feelings. As much as a devil can, of course.

He lets out a sound, eager and frustrated, because he wouldn’t dare to do anything if he isn’t sure that nobody’s looking. Never could, not even when he was a horny teenager. He needs to be alone, and-

Something is making your heart race. One of your favorite books again? Another scene you don’t want me to read?

But Ohmrom isn’t reading anything, which Barkilara can clearly see. He feels panic rising, because being found out is dangerous, it would disgust the devil, it would get him mocked, maybe even killed. Who would even want a man like him thinking about him like that? With those impure thoughts they had warned him so much about? Barkilara would surely feel insulted.

“I… I’m sorry, I…”

He doesn’t need to see him to know that the devil is raising an eyebrow, digging into his thoughts almost immediately. His feelings. His desires.

“No, no, please…”

Barkilara has always told him that his mind is like an open book. Ohmrom may be good at lying, yes, but his feelings are usually bare, raw. Obvious for someone who knows how to look, and where to look. He tries to hide it, he really does. He tries to relax, to make his mind more difficult to read, to stop thinking and just focus on something else.

It doesn’t work. He can almost feel the devil’s fingers delicately reading him, caressing the pages of his mind and heart with utmost care. He trembles like a leaf, because Barkilara’s presence feels intense, almost as if what he was seeing was affecting him. Fear fills him in a moment, and he tries to speak, but his throat doesn’t respond, anxiety dooming his body not to belong to him anymore.

This isn’t exactly what I was expecting…

Ohmrom gulps, making himself look smaller, his knees against his chest, like everytime sister Gretel found out something about him, about his desires, about what he really wanted. Make yourself look smaller, and brace for the punishment. That’s everything he can do.

Not that I haven’t thought about it myself… You can be… attractive, boy. When you’re not trying to be.

Ohmrom’s voice is still not working properly, but he still manages to say something. Anything, anything will do.

“What… what are you…”

Barkilara’s voice sounds closer, as if he were whispering into his ear. Intimate, almost sweet. Full of promises that make Ohmrom’s heart beat even faster, his face red in something that’s not embarrassment anymore.

He tells him what he’d do to him. A detailed list, no amount of shyness in his voice, probably knowing that the thought alone is enough to almost make him faint, even more if it’s said in hushed whispers, in promises that Ohmrom knows that they’re far from empty.

“What’s the catch?” he asks, his voice wavering. “What do you want in return?”

Barkilara’s voice is a deep chuckle, rumbling in every bone of his. He feels the devil’s amusement everywhere, as if the question was… well, stupid.

Your soul already belongs to me, whether you like it or not. This… this is different, though. You are already giving me something I want in return. Your body… your time… Your trust…

Your pleasure.

Ohmrom whines, his body still tense, so hot it could be mistaken for a fever. Barkilara patiently waits for an answer, because he has all the time in the world. Because he already knows what Ohmrom is going to say, maybe before Ohmrom himself does.

“Yes.”

Yes?

“I have thought of you,” Ohmrom relents, embarrassed. “I think of you, often, even if I don’t know what you look like. I want you, like I have wanted other men in the past. Most ardently.”

Barkilara smiles in his mind, like a cat about to pounce on its prey.

You know I’m no mere man.

“I know… and everything I know about your… your kind tells me this is a bad idea, that I am an idiot for even…”

You might be. And it might be a really, really bad idea.

His voice tells him to continue, amused yet curious about what Ohmrom has to say.

“I still want it. I can’t stop myself from wanting it. I have been thinking about you for who knows how long…”

Barkilara’s voice almost sounds sweet. Longing, even. Patient, as if talking to a child, teasing him just the right amount.

I have been thinking about you a lot, too, boy. Bad idea or not… I still want you.

Ohmrom says nothing for a couple of seconds, still assimilating the devil’s words. Nervous, but slightly more relaxed. More accepting.

“What now? What do I do now?”

Whatever you want to do. You were thinking about some stuff yourself, weren’t you? If you want to go through that.

Ohmrom nods, his mind racing, because indeed, he has some things in mind. All of them involving the most commanding and intense voice in his head.

I can guide you through it. It would be my pleasure to see you come undone by me and me alone.

Ohmrom shudders, nodding slightly again. He can do that. It would be nice to do that.

Get yourself comfortable, then. Relax for me, and… mortal.

“Yes?”

Barkilara’s voice is almost a singsong when he answers, his desire so evident it threatens to make Ohmrom lose his mind, a link so obvious and so easy it has to be a lie.

The devil cannot touch him, cannot kiss him, cannot materialize for reasons Ohmrom doesn't know, but he knows that, if he could, the next words would be against his lips.

Be a pretty little thing, and enjoy what I have to offer.