#being too strong for too long

[ajgrey9647]

Self-soothing prompts: Wrapping themself in a large blanket that makes them feel small and safe. + Coinless Zack?

Pain in Multiples/No One Can Save You But You

His life had changed so dramatically and rapidly that Zack had no time to process the traumatic events as they unfolded. The Black Ranger had stubbornly held on to the big picture once his initial shellshock in the aftermath of Drakkon’s birth had receded. There hadn’t been a choice, really.

The survivors needed him to get his head together, to keep them safe, to formulate some kind of plan to defeat the monster. However, everything he came up with amounted to a suicide mission, their chances of success well in the negative percentile. Which Billy claimed wasn’t empirically possible as his mind scrambled for tight control of whatever it could find and, of course, mathematics and its precise outcomes fit the bill nicely.

Zack barely kept himself from the flashpoint of rage at the silly, pedantic statement, his hand smacking sharply against the assortment of scribbled papers littering the rickety table.

“Obviously, I don’t literally mean we have a -1000% of defeating Lord Drakkon, Billy!” he snapped, hating himself for his irritation even as the words tumbled forth. “I just don’t care for the words ‘certain death’, alright?”

The Blue Ranger retreated back to his tiny cot in the stark, barren room of the abandoned nursing facility like a scolded puppy.

“Oh God, Billy! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” the black-clad teen sighed, following his friend’s retreat.

He nestled on the lumpy piece of furniture next to where the blonde genius huddled under a ragged scrap of a blanket, only the wispy top of his golden locks visible.

“No, Zack. I’m the one who should be apologizing… I should have been able to determine a quicker way to infuse Jason with the White Tiger powers. Or invented a way to help fortify the Command Center against breaches. If I had, then Zordon, Alpha, and Jason would still be here,” he sobbed brokenly. “This is all my fault!”

Placing a shaky hand over the tightly bundled fabric, the Black Ranger hissed forcefully.

“That’s not true, man! If anything is anyone’s fault…well, I could have tried harder or looked longer to find Tommy before that son of a bitch hitched himself back with Rita! I could have convinced him his place was with us! Then there would have no need for new powers or any of that other shit!”

Of course, words were hollow in moments such as these.

The icy fingers of blame stretched far and wide, ensnared deep in the darkest parts of each Ranger’s heart. No amount of countering could convince any of them that they did not have a direct hand in the terrible emergence of this homicidal, superpowered dickhead.

Zack already knew full well where Kimberly Hart stood on her role in this nightmarish clusterfuck. Their conversation had gone no better than the one he’d had with the Blue Ranger. Full of rage and vengeance in addition to her bitter tears, the Pink Ranger spit fire as she insisted upon her failure.

“And if I pressed harder on my suspicion that Tommy was the Green Ranger way back before we finally found out, maybe that would have changed things, given us more time, I don’t know! Or if I had been able to get through to him when I confronted him in the Youth Center before the Sword of Darkness was destroyed…” she yelled, kicking violently at a haphazard stack of old wooden crates outside the kitchen.

The tiny girl had been profoundly changed the moment Drakkon’s deadly hands held forth Jason’s blood streaked red Tyranno helmet with its shattered visor. Something broke inside her at seeing the graphic evidence of her beloved big brother’s murder.

Kimberly often awoke in the wee hours of the night, screaming a heartbroken wail that echoed easily down the tiled corridors where the remaining citizens secreted themselves from Drakkon’s Red Sentry army.

“I miss him, Zack! I don’t know how to live without him here, to protect us, guide us… I’d give anything for one more of his big teddy bear hugs right now!” she moaned, her knees giving out and dropping her to the ground. “To hear his voice…”

From a battered canvas bag she kept guarded on her person at all times, her trembling hands pulled out a small, velvety plush dinosaur, it’s black plastic eyes seemingly gazing into their souls, the two small front legs adorned with soft, felt claws.

“Rexy…” Zack gasped in wonderment. “How the hell did you get that? And when? Drakkon’s goons…”

Kim cuddled the T Rex tightly to her chest in defiance.

“Don’t worry about it,” she retorted. “It’s one piece of Jason that motherfucker won’t ever get!”

She breathed deeply of the top of Rexy’s head.

“It still has his smell. I’m afraid of the day that it will be gone too.”

“Kim…”

But the Pink Ranger turned her head away.

“Just leave me alone, Zack… Please…”

As for Trini, she didn’t speak much for quite awhile after the events of Ascension Day, merely staring into space and only doing anything when guided physically by another person to do so. Usually that person was the Black Ranger. Caring for the catatonic girl was one concrete thing he could do to help anything in this godforsaken hellhole.

With his diligence, he’d finally coaxed the start of a few small words from the Yellow Ranger as they sat nibbling a stale piece of bread covered with a swath of crunchy peanut butter to disguise its brittleness.

“Evil won,” she whispered. “Rita…won..”

Zack couldn’t stomach hearing that sentiment.

“No, she didn’t. We’re still here, girl! And we’ll find a way to beat them! Just like we always do!”

But she shook her head, long dark swishing her upper arms.

“Not this time. There’s no going back. He killed them…”

Damn, but those early days were rough. Days? Hell, months to be more accurate.

They were all fortunate to have some time to regroup and rest within the confines of the crumbling facility Bulk had led them to before they’d been flushed out like a nest of fledgling mice into the night. More people were lost in the confusion and chaos… there was no to prevent that with the might of the jackal-like Sentries.

He, along with Kimberly, Billy, Trini, Bulk, and Skull, had managed to herd whoever he could to safety, delivering a series of satisfying blows to the marauders as he did so. Morphing into their respective suits was eerie and horrible without Jason there to call out in his deep, authoritative yell, ‘It’s Morphin’ Time!’ or ‘Tyrannosaurus!’

It was salt in their still fresh wound.

But once again, Zack was unable to take the time to properly mourn or grieve or fully appreciate the gravity of their new rebellious resistance. It felt like a movie or a nightmare or a really bad bout with alcohol… anything but reality. He always half expected to wake up in his bed before school or in the Command Center with his head bandaged or being given some elixir to reverse a spell… only to be depressingly disappointed.

The Black Ranger had not one spare minute, not when there were issues to address such as procuring food, medical equipment, weapons, clothing, or other supplies, finding safe places to hide out, or constructing their new Coinless leadership. Trini seemed to come back to life when this was going on, drawing on tremendous inner strength and determination in their fallen friends’ honor.

They would slay the dragon.

But the spiteful prick inflicted more lethal wounds before they even got that far in their day to day considerations, operating from a primal survival mode as they cared for what people remained of Angel Grove.

Rumor spread that Rita was dead, killed by ‘her’ evil Ranger’s dagger. Whispers swirled throughout what remained of the city where a lavish palace was being constructed even as the surrounding landscape slowly regressed, unnoticed in the wake of Drakkon’s coup. Those with firsthand knowledge described Rita’s final moments, screeching at the tyrant about his ‘careless, short-sighted, and impertinent decision’. No one knew to what she was referring but rather than argue, Drakkon turned toward his Empress, smiled beatifically as he declared his entitlement to a ‘prize from his battle’, and casually drove his blade through her torso.

Death and loss followed the asshole like a contagious disease.

Drakkon took Billy from them, as effortlessly as blowing a girlish kiss, his Red Sentry blasting a gory hole through the Blue Ranger as he stood protectively before Trini, her morpher already yanked from her belt and being twirled in the tyrant’s long fingers. Zack had swooped in then, challenging the dictator after knocking the murderous Sentry from the bluffs overlooking the ocean.

“Well, hello again, Zackary…” Drakkon purred, his helmet slowly roving up and down the Black Ranger’s battle-damaged suit. “Tough breaks, hmmm? Looks like you’re down another Ranger. Too bad little Skullovitch wasn’t here to save his precious boytoy this time.”

“Fuck you, you cowardly piece of shit!” Zack screamed, calling forth his axe. “I’m going to send you back to hell where you came from!”

This bluster only made Drakkon laugh wildly.

“Look around, dumbass… We’re already there.”

A white and gold saber appeared in the tyrant’s gloved hand.

“I’m glad we’ve finally gotten the chance to chat again…I never had the opportunity to regale you with my little convergence of the twain… Jason’s agonizing death when he refused to submit…”

“Shut up!” Zack snarled, swinging the heavy weapon in a wide arc that Drakkon deftly dodged with a combat roll.

Giggling, the evil Ranger slashed his blade through the air in an arrogant display.

“I tried to be merciful, Zackary, for what’s it worth… a quick, painless snap of his neck… like a chicken in a barnyard or a bunny rabbit outside its warren. But he just wouldn’t hold still… until I beat that hard head of his like a punching bag.”

Grinning through his lies, Drakkon wished he could see the Black Ranger’s face as he made up the nastiest details he could imagine.

“I destroyed that disgusting red helmet and he still thrashed around like an animal in a snare, covered in piss when he lost control of his bladder and running into things because his eyeballs ruptured under my fists. It looked like raspberry jelly smeared down his cheeks… But I really thought that crack to his neck did the trick when he dropped like a ton of bricks!”

Roaring in fury, Zack charged again, locking his axe with Drakkon’s sword as the tyrant continued to fib.

“I reached down to take his coin, Black Ranger, and that silky little belly was moving up and down. He was still breathing, crying and begging for his ‘mommy’”, he sneered in disdain. “So, I did the kindest thing I could… I hacked him open and field dressed him like a deer, pulling his guts out while he tried to scream…”

His words were cut off when Zack’s fist collided squarely with the hybridized helmet, knocking Drakkon backward toward the drop off to the turbulent ocean below. The Black Ranger was too enraged to question the tyrant about some of the inconsistences in his gruesome tale, namely that if he had gutted Jason, Drakkon should have been painted with his scarlet blood instead of just what dripped from the Tyranno helmet.

“And Zordon got to witness the whole shameful thing!”

Zack’s vision misted over with tears, the vile meanness of what happened to Jason making him want to vomit. And that was when Drakkon ceased his possumy, demure antics and proceeded to maul the Black Ranger like a pit bull, a stunning about-face that left the teen reeling.

His Mastodon coin was savagely yanked from his belt, depowering him in a flash of crackling black light. Only the sudden interference from Kimberly saved him from a deadly blow by Drakkon’s sword, as the Pink Ranger’s arrow struck the tyrant’s leg, dropping him to one knee.

She’d overheard everything, every vile detail he had had spewed and after seeing Trini cuddling Billy’s mangled corpse in her arms, watching Zack’s helpless struggle, she could no longer hold back.

“You son of a bitch! I’m going to kill you! Gut you just like you did Jason, you sick fuck!” Kim screamed.

Reinforcements arriving vibrated the ground they cowered upon and time was up. At least for now.

Trini dashed into the bracken, her blood-soaked shirt clinging to her upper body and Billy’s Triceratops coin hidden in her bra. Zack foolishly snared Kim’s waist and hauled her off into the woods as Drakkon bellowed in pain, pulling himself to his feet.

He glared after the retreating former Rangers, then lifted his hand, waggling his fingers like a toddler.

“See ya later, alligator!”

The Mastodon and Saber tooth Tiger coins were clutched tightly in his palm, perfect additions for those clamoring for the opportunity to serve in his ranks. He grinned, satisfied he’d supplied enough nightmare fuel to keep Kimberly and Zack awake for years to come.

The loss of his coin, forcefully removed from his body instead of transferred to another, left Zack in the throes of physical withdrawal as he adjusted from the enhancements of the Grid back to a mere mortal human. His skin was clammy, drenched in sweat, and he suffered the shakes to the point he couldn’t even feed himself without help.

Not that it mattered much.

He vomited everything he put in his mouth anyway.

So, ultimately all he could do at that point in time was lay upon a pallet in a ramshackle farmer’s barn somewhere in the countryside, listening to the world go on outside its sun-faded red walls. Unable to get up, or sit up, or speak more than a few words at a time, even that was exhausting.

Zack had the distinct privilege of hearing Kimberly’s loud, enraged cursing, swearing, and threatening all manner of violence upon Lord Drakkon, rebuffing all who attempted to calm her down. Skull curled into a ball somewhere near the cow pasture, wailing and wishing death for himself at the loss of Billy as Bulk tried helplessly to protect him from his own hand.

Eventually, both the Pink Ranger and Eugene disappeared into the night some time down the road. Kim returned as the devil’s right hand warrior and Skull not at all, both to Farkas’s immense grief.

Loss after loss after loss after loss. A whole goddamn mountain of them. And Zack was unable to stem the tide. What more were waiting just around the corner? Who else was going to die?

Zack was still a child himself; they all were. He wished Jason were here because he’d know how to handle things. Then thoughts of his deceased leader coalesced into images of his brutal, bloody murder and then the teen couldn’t sleep for fear of closing his eyes.

He didn’t want to be strong, dammit! He wanted someone to comfort him, to take over, to make decisions, to be a fucking adult, to fix things, right all these impossible wrongs…

But there was no one who could mentally or physically extend themselves to another, as all were as depleted as he was.

So, Zack settled for what he could given the circumstances. He pulled a heavy, old blanket from some unknown room from wherever the fuck they’d ended up now and disappeared into the shadows. Wrapping himself snuggly in the scratchy material, he scrunched into as small a ball as he could manage, feeling like an egg in a nest or an infant being swaddled in his mother’s arms.

And from that cocoon of safety, Zack finally allowed himself to release the agonized tears he’d saved up beginning the day that Jason ‘died’.

[puppyeared]

RETURN TO MONKE (PUBERTY EDITION)

MK’s monkey form doesn’t feel right to me so i wanted to break up his transformation into stages. Maybe as he learns to accept that side of himself it becomes part of him, instead of changing between human and monkey randomly (which is probably painful). Love yourself, NOW!!!

@zymstarz im tagging you for FULL MONKE

[lindseymcdonaldseyelashes]

Leverage 4x1 - "The Long Way Down Job"

[cerealmonster15]

jamiazu / ashenviper week day 6: toxic yaoi overblot

SORRY it's very much a rushed mess especially in the lower half jdkslfjksd i was v busy today and trying to hurry to get something done for this before midnight [covers up the clock... i was close enough,,, it's still day 6 in some time zones jkfdlsjfs]

unfortunate that the overblots have so much going on and take me ten billion years to draw otherwise i think id like drawing them more bc they LOOK VERY COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mammomlette]

People don’t talk about MC needing to wear a magical ring to not accidentally yk cause NATURAL DISASTERS with their powers??? Not only accidentally but without realising???

Diavolo or smthn is asking too much of MC or being a bit too annoying and their other hand slowly drifts towards the ring and they hold onto it while maintaining dead eye contact. Like continue to piss me off hoe I’ll blink and blow a hole in your castle idk

Obv they never do it (or do they?) but the threat is there and it’s a risk dia (or whoever but I’m using dia) can’t take

[foxcort]

listen its not that tamlin locking feyre in a manor is ‘not a big deal’. its that sjm parallels tamlin and rhysand way too much for rhysand to be a viable, healthy option for feyre.

rhys put a whole city under a lockdown so severe people forgot about its existence (and from what the wiki says, the city was kept hidden for centuries even before, for the safety of its citizens) but tamlin locking feyre in a manor, so she wouldn’t follow him into an unsafe situation was crossing a line?

[cinnamonsikwate]

i'm really curious about what marcille's mother's deal is. seems like she's not too big on the rest of elven society. here's what we know about her so far:

mage at a human royal court (adventurer's bible)

courtship with marcille's father donato lasted 17 years (adventurer's bible)

specialty is roast pork, which was also donato's favorite (chapter 81)

had a cheerful personality up until the point donato got too sick to eat his favorite food. her extreme emotional reaction to this left a lasting impression on marcille (chapter 81)

remarried to a gnome and moved away from the city at some point after donato died (adventurer's bible)

several portraits of her appear in marcille's nightmare (chapter 42); this is the second time we see marcille dream of her (chapter 3)

preferred non-elven food and didn't introduce marcille to any traditional elven dishes (chapter 74)

from the canaries' reactions in chapter 74, it appears elven society looks down on elves who go to live among and work for short-lived races. they seemed especially put off that she would have a mixed-blood child. when they're talking about the lyrikmumare to get marcille to trip up, marcille envisions her mother saying that the food "here" (i.e., the northern continent) tastes so much better. so the picture we're getting here is of an elf who has removed herself from elven culture, but the question is, did she do it willingly or was she forced to?

keeping her other actions in mind, i'm leaning more towards the former. the most intriguing thing for me is that she eventually married a gnome, despite elves and gnomes having infamously waged war against each other over differences in the practice of magic and presently tending to discriminate against the other on sight. (one thing's for sure — marcille's mother is winning the idgaf war!)

marcille never talks about her gnome stepfather though, and it's unclear what she thinks of her mother's remarriage. the timing of the remarriage is also a mystery. donato married marcille's mother when he was 32 (after having courted her for 17 years) and died at 82, meaning they were married for 50 years. marcille is also currently 50 years old, but we know she wasn't born immediately after the marriage: in chapter 81, donato's doppelganger says marcille was born when he'd started "getting on in years." based on marcille's memories of him and the established fact that the average tall-man lifespan is 60 years, i'd hazard that he was in his 50s then. this gives him 30 years or less with marcille — definitely less than 35, which we know is the age at which she left for the magic academy.

we don't know if marcille's mother remarries before or after marcille leaves (if before, than that's definitely a shockingly short time), but it's interesting that she chose to marry someone from a long-lived race this time. maybe this is her way of ensuring she spares herself another heartbreak? or maybe she *is* still heartbroken and is trying to cover it up.

but. i can't help but kind of agree with chilchuck in chapter 81, that marcille's parents are not blameless for marcille becoming the dungeon lord. since it's apparently well-documented, they surely must have known — as well-educated people — that mixed-blood children face not just discrimination but also mental anguish that comes with their unstable aging (not to mention the sterility). so the way they raised marcille feels frankly irresponsible 😭

anyway. i'd love to get spin-off content where post-adventure marcille and her mother meet again. i feel like there's a lot of unresolved issues there (that can of course be hashed out over a good meal).

[stopper-my-heart]

Nothing like Heartstopper S2E8 removing some of Taylor Swift's "seven" lyrics just so that the singing can specifically come back in at "Or hide in the closet" while Isaac is processing difficult emotions related to the book he's reading (i.e., Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen).

Did I mention "Or hide in the closet" hits just as the camera focus finishes shifting away from Isaac?

This is fine

[muninnhuginn]

Keep thinking about how time in Frieren is measured in years since Himmel's death. The fact that at this point in the anime, he's been dead far longer than Frieren travelled with him, and yet, that's still how she relates time to this world.

[hanakihan]

quick Rapunzel!Ratio sketch before dinner

so basically Aventio Rapunzel AU actually follows Kavetham Beaty and the Beats AU and they’re heavily connected

/more useless lore under the cut it’s long lmao/

so in this entire fairytale AU Ratio is adopted son of Alhaitham (and later Kaveh’s). Alhaitham himself was living and supporting his grandmother and while he’s himself barely an adult he kinda adopted orphaned Ratio whose parents died of local variant of plague or incurable illness. Ratio was around 3 when Alhaitham took him under his wing because no one else wanted to take in a burden in form of an extra mouth to feed.

After events of Beauty and the Beast AU Ratio got officially adopted into royal family as Alhaitham and Kaveh’s child (6 years old by now), but then it’s revealed that Ratio’s parents died not of plague or illness that roamed around by that time, but by inherited defect in health. Small Ratio falls really ill and each day it becomes progressively worse and nothing helps. Then one day they acquire magical flower that miraculously cures Ratio but at the same night he gets kidnapped, since essence of a magical flower now flows through his blood.

Years go by and Ratio grows into a curious but easily annoyed young man whose hair impossibly long. He and people who confine him tried to cut them but each time it happens cut hair just turn into rotting poisonous mess and then grow up back again after some time (Ratio doesn’t know it, but all the poison and illness in his body go into his hair so it turns into a cycle of cleansing and getting sick again).

Come Aventurine who was simply trying to get away from pursuers because he is a gambler and is pretty much in big debt at the moment and he really needs some treasure to sell. He stumbles upon Ratio’s confinement and they strike a deal - Aventurine helps Ratio to finally escape from his kidnappers and reach nearby town while Aventurine gets a gemstone that Ratio has on him (which Aventurine recognizes as a sign of royal family since much similar but green one is in possession of King Alhaitham). Selling this one will give Aventurine enough fortune to pay off his debts and even live comfortably.

So they go on a chaotic adventure to reach a town (where Kaveh and Alhaitham reside) so they can go their separate ways. They arrive on time of missing prince’s birthday to see and partake in a festival (which Ratio was against at first because he’s not here for fun and he still fears he’s still followed by people who kept him confined). Aventurine insists, having suspicions Ratio may be a missing prince judging by gemstone he possesses but then again who knows what happened to prince and gemstone could’ve ended up anywhere.

After that deal is complete, Ratio gives Aventurine his gemstone as was promised and they go on separate ways. While walking his own way to sell gemstone, Aventurine stumbles upon Alhaitham who’s away from celebrations to be in quiet and reminiscence about a young boy he once adopted as his own. It’s near outskirts of city, Alhaitham’s old house and Ratio’s nearby, where they lived before Alhaitham got married to Kaveh. Alhaitham spots Aventurine who wanted to leave unnoticed, but in the end Aventurine understands whole picture because Alhaitham shares some past with him. Turns out Ratio is the missing prince - Veritas. No one knows Veritas’ last name so no one connected the dots between Prince Veritas and a man going by last name Ratio. Aventurine realizes how much royal family misses their son, realizes how he himself fell in love with this insufferable man and how he’s ready to risk it all for him in his last gambit gamble. Aventurine gives Alhaitham gemstone that Ratio gave him and promises to bring their son back while rushing to direction Ratio left.

Cut further and Ratio is found by his kidnappers again. Aventurine does arrive in time to help him escape once again, dragging him along to the palace so they can get help. They’re close enough when one of kidnappers manages to grab Ratio’s hair. Now he and Aventurine are separated, one of kidnappers managed to injure Aventurine when he tried to get to Ratio, and in his last effort he does reach Ratio and cuts off his hair, freeing him and telling him to run and not to look back. Ratio’s cut hair start to rot and poison to death everyone who was holding it in their grasp thus killing at least half of them. Ratio chaotically tries to cut his hand so his blood can be used to help Aventurine but it doesn’t work and his hair don’t grow out again like it usually does - meaning there’s no more essence of flower in his body, just as there’s no more illness in him, since everything was purged and purified in him. Alhaitham and Kaveh arrive on time with others to this scene and deal with remaining kidnappers while Ratio chaotically tries to do something because Aventurine’s life slips through his fingers and he refuses to accept such outcome. Ratio never really cried in his life no matter what, but this breaks his heart and final drop of flower’s essence in his single tear heals Aventurine.

Everything is good and sweet and nothing hurts anymore because I’m a sucker for happy endings (Kaveh be questioning Aventurine’s morals until Alhaitham smacks him on head. Eventually Kaveh remembers where he saw Aventurine - turns out Aventurine (which is not his real name) was Veritas’ childhood companion back after adoption into royal family. Aventurine was a son of a head maid and thus was always following Ratio around as well as studying with him and disappeared same night since he was taken away along by being a witness but then kidnappers just sold him away and with time he forgot who he was and what was his goal)

[letters-of-libertas]

I'm bi and yeah your note on women not having solidarity seems sadly true. Apart from not dating men would there be anything you would suggest to improve ones life apart from stating away from those women if possible?

I love this question because this is how to start thinking: being practical.

What it takes to "improve ones life" is subjective so with that said firstly define what a better life(style) for yourself away from moids would look like. Temporarily mentally remove xy terrorist existence. What would your habits/routine be? What would you work towards & pour your energy into? What would you want to be? What would you center your life around? Take your time with these questions or anymore that come up. Have a general idea then be more specific and start breaking your life down into sectors/sections/areas, then look at where you want to be in those areas and work towards it.

For example; I divide my life into 6-7 aspects:

Physical Strength - Not just about muscle but knowing how to fight, where to hit and when to fight. Being stronger makes it easier to defend yourself in altercations (especially with other women). Some mfs will try you & you cant always rely on others coming to your rescue. Also work on building stamina to help endurance, and keeping as healthy as possible.

Emotional Strength - If you cant control your emotions they will control you. In a world of chaos being emotionally strong will let you cut through the noise and focus on what truly matters. Building emotional strength is not easy but it's worth it. Being able to rise above immediate reactions and pace yourself will allow you to assess situations more rationally & make more beneficial choices.

Finances - Get your bag up. Having money to gain resources is imperative to quality of life. I dont care what anyone says having a certain amount of money in life WILL make you happier as you're able to meet your needs better. Having more money/resources also makes it easier to support other women should you choose to do so, it also allows you to be more influential and have more control over your life. However, dont become a slave to getting money tho because that's how you get scammed.

Network - The type of people you hang around can make or break who you are as a person. Aim to connect with likeminded women who will encourage & inspire you as you go on this journey. Hang around people that value & will be honest with you while giving you grace. Not all women you engage with have to be single & childfree but beware the moid crazy ones because they will bring danger to you in their quest for maIe validation. Life isn't perfect but you cant go wrong having the right people around you, valuable relationships are hard to find but it goes a long way even if it's just online. However, no company > bad company.

Spirituality/Guide - Having something bigger than yourself to guide you through the chaos in this world can offer guidance/purpose that keeps you grounded & focused. For many people generally this is religion/god. Not everyone needs or ascribes to religion/spirituality though, but at least consider sets of morals/beliefs to follow. However even that isn't for everyone. So if you feel better off without spirituality or a 'higher' guide at least be clear on it & your reasons why (for yourself).

Hobbies & Interests - As turbulent as the world is, find things to enjoy amidst the chaos. Constant work, doom, and gloom will not change anything you will only hurt yourself. Take time to indulge in things that make you happy to recharge & relax. Engage in hobbies that serve you, share your passion with other women & hear theirs out too. It goes a long way in terms of mental health.

Security - It takes privilege to decide to not get married or have children as a woman & live it out. Everyone's situation is different so what I'll generally suggest is to constantly look into how you can protect yourself, have backup methods, and stay in the loop of xy predation. Dont drown in it but moids are predators & being completely blind to them is being blind to danger. Elaborated on point 10 here.

Sounds like a lot? Great, it'll keep you busy because this isn't a vacation or destination but a lifestyle. And to be honest, some of y'all can do with the busyness as it'll let you focus on what actually matters. This not to say to overwhelm yourself in things for the sake of it but to prioritise your energy on effective things for your life. As you focus on building you'll find that you have less energy to care about insignificant stuff or stuff out of your control anyways. For example, Instead of getting wound up about user somerandomadjectivefem stirring discourse calling you an extremist or whining about how impossible it is for her & other women to live without romantic love n' whatnot (or even women irl pulling this crap), you either ignore or quickly shut down the conversation & swiftly move on.

Everything I've mentioned are just examples, you may feel differently do whatever you feel best applies. Also remember to enjoy the process along the way as you are living through it afterall :3

Long story short: Work on building resources & other aspects of your life up for yourself.

[egophiliac]

You have me very curious about kamen rider

ooh, yes, I am always happy to suck unsuspecting victims into the rider vacuum recommend it to people! ...I do sometimes wonder how wacky it must seem just based off of my fanart for it. :') (I promise it all makes sense in context! ...most of it, anyway!)

SO: Kamen Rider is a Japanese superhero franchise, the mainstay being a new standalone show (of usually about 40-50 episodes) released every year. there are some common elements between shows -- in general, they're about suited-up superheroes fightin' monsters (and sometimes each other!) and occasionally riding motorcycles (and sometimes a car!) -- but otherwise each show is doing its own thing, and there's a HUGE variety in story/tone/theme/style/what have you. so each one is pretty different! it does have the upside that, if you're interested in checking it out, you don't need to start at the beginning or watch any specific ones to understand the others (with a couple of exceptions*). I did rec a few of my favorites in this post, but if you want, you can also take a look at the entire list and jump into any that sound good to you! :D

* exceptions-wise, Decade and Zi-O are anniversary series that assume you're already familiar with past riders, and I believe Black RX is a direct sequel to Black? (I'm not really familiar with the Showa-era riders, but I think they're more connected story-wise than the more modern ones, which are just straight up completely different universes that have nothing to do with each other) (except when they do, like, crossover movies, in which case the standard explanation for how any of these characters are able to exist in the same place and interact with each other is "they just are okay") (I say this all with great affection. who needs canon when you can watch Ghost and Ex-Aid team up to fight an enormous evil Pacman together? not me, that's who.)

uhhhh sorry for talking so much, here's a Tsumuri to balance it out!

[yuu-mao]

I find it weird some people are disappointed Kieran didn't get posses? I honestly was praying that theory wasn't right

Something about possession being the reason a character does fuck up shit feels like taking away from a character complexity. I like Kieran the way he is, a kid with issues, and I wouldn't like to see that complexity getting muddled with the "he was possessed" argument

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 39 Doomish Hope Posting

Hi internet void. I've got bachi on the brain again.

Chapter 39 is the "if they aren't soulmates I'll eat every hat I own" moment of the series. Also seems like the "Hakuri will be shelved once the mission is done" chapter, which is a fucking shame. But I will remain calm(ish) and wait for Hokazono-sensei to finish cooking. So we start off with some really nice foreshadowing coupled with a little continuity update. Mr. Inazuma found his way to Char and Hinao and sees some of the folks from the storehouse get dropped off at the entrance, but his sister isn't among them. Hmm. Then, we switch back to the fight and see our precious Hakuri struggling. He's got a free-flowing nosebleed and a splitting headache trying to keep up with his dad's manipulation of the subspace. And hey look, some more foreshadowing. (Hint: Kyoura isn't talking to Chihiro full time here.)

Yet once again Kyoura underestimates his son...

… while Chihiro's faith never wavers. Once more, despite nothing being said between them, they fight in perfect harmony.

Aaaaah. THESE GUYS. They've known each other for weeks at most and they're already doing this mad OP shit? Hakuri awakened to his storehouse powers less than an hour ago and he's already copying his dad's techniques to match Chihiro's fighting style? Chihiro fucking yeeted Enten at Kyoura without a word and Hakuri instantly understood that he needed to teleport him to the other side to catch it, then create a hologram for a fake-out so Chihiro could land the blow? Are you KIDDING ME? Our color-coded protagonist/foil pair are acting as one already? Hokazono-sensei's gotta slow down or we won't have anything left to explore with them.

Maybe that's the intention, though.

The little flashback where young Hakuri tells his father that "I'm gonna become a leader who surpasses you!" is a huge moment in the chapter for two reasons. First, the emotional catharsis that I'll rant about later. Second, the next potential bit of foreshadowing. When Hakuri initially met Chihiro, his stated goal was to end the Rakuzaichi, which we took him at his word for. He didn't know he was actually the second coming of Sazanami Jesus and neither did we. But that single panel recontextualized everything. If Hakuri hadn't been deemed worthless and disowned, the Toukuri AU could have been pretty close to canon. He's actually a very ambitious guy- no wonder he was so dogged about getting Chihiro to help him! Obviously, his goal shifted from "become a better leader than my father" to "burn it all down" at some point during the time where he was abused. But what if he never fully let go of that dream?

We see that the Sazanami family is huge and powerful enough that even the government treads lightly around them. So it's not a stretch to think that Sazanamis will be able to continue on even without Kyoura as long as they have a capable leader. Someone perhaps a bit more reform-minded to keep the government off their back while they adjust to a new way of doing things. A guy who's too stubborn to quit and powerful enough to quell the critics; a legitimate heir who invokes the legend of their progenitor's genius, perhaps. Someone who has a deeply personal stake in erasing the legacy they were all groomed to protect. So yeah, Hakuri could very easily get wrapped up in his family's business while Chihiro moves on. Not to say he would never be relevant again- the storehouse ability alone practically guarantees he's sticking around in some capacity (gotta have a safe place to keep those WMDs and all). But I'm steeling myself for seeing a lot less of this lethal cinnamon roll in a few chapters.

Ideally for me at least, Hakuri and Chihiro end the Rakuzaichi and let the government step in to take care of the aftermath. Hakuri, being disowned and having completed his revenge, decides to stay with Chihiro to help him on his own journey. And wouldn't it just be so sweet if much later on Chihiro adopts him into his family register so Hakuri has a last name he can be proud of? But the very real chance of Hakuri being sidelined is preventing me from full investment right now. It all depends on the themes Hokazono-sensei is intending to impart with this arc.

The theme of reforming your family's violent legacy is obviously deeply resonant with Chihiro's current mission. The two of them have basically speedran the development from strangers to soulmates so that this could happen. I just don't understand why we'd do all of this relationship upgrading in a single arc if Hakuri was meant to stick around and grow with Chihiro y'know? What could possibly be left open for them after this? Wouldn't it be too OP to keep them together when they're already silently dancing through battles in perfect sync? They've already reached peak combat effectiveness or close to it. And though Hakuri's family issues are very likely to still be an albatross around his neck, those are for him to tackle now that he's found his strength; Chihiro's got other things to focus on. Leaving the arc with Hakuri posed to reform the Sazanamis would be a worthy culmination of his story. At this point he's practically used goods (narratively speaking)! Chihiro learned a lesson and made a friend. Time for something new… maybe checking in on the Kamunabi? A little downtime before finding the next sword? Either way, Hakuri doesn't need to be there when he could be rehabilitating his family's image and purpose. Unless…

He's used to explore the theme of healing from tragedy as the heroine.

Yes I'm spouting my bullshit again and yes I'm very fucking serious about this. My clown suit is freshly dry-cleaned and neatly laid out because I could easily be wrong but I think (hope) I'm not. Mostly because it seems like Hokazono-sensei wants to keep showing us glimpses of Chihiro's true feelings under his hardened persona. Very smart thing to do in order to get readers invested beyond his badass action stunts and tragic backstory. But we need someone to bounce off of him and be a direct contrast or else we're stuck with lonely ol' :| Chihiro all the time. (I love the deadpan gags but they won't stay fresh forever if that's the only joke to make with him.) We need a real companion for him that's on his level. Chihiro's so far skewed into expressionless determinator outside of battle that he desperately needs a polar opposite to help mellow him out. I raved like a lunatic about it already so I won't retread all that… but if Hakuri isn't a color-coded foil to balance out Chihiro's extreme personality then fuck me for thinking I'm somewhat media literate, I guess. We need Hakuri for levity and being able to relate to Chihiro. Poor guy desperately needs a friend to help pull him out of his own head. If Char is there for protection, and Shiba to guide him, Hakuri should be there for him to grow with in an emotional sense. Someone he can start opening up to in quiet moments.

The memers got it badly wrong assuming that Chihiro was a one-dimensional revenge bot- he's actually a sensitive guy carrying a lot of pain he can't express. Not to Char (small child), not to Shiba, Azami, or Hinao (adults he's emotionally closed off from). It's gotta be a peer like Hakuri who will eventually be able to sit by his side and help him. We've seen the magic of Hakuri's presence already- Chihiro admitting he was fearful of Shinuchi being misused in the elevator scene, helping him overcome his doubts about using Enten, and later helping him let Enten go. Yuge stuff for guys that just met each other, don't you think? Then it was followed by all that soulmate-coded stuff in the raid… It would be awful for Chihiro to lose the friend he can confide in. So if the story pulls them apart my heart will break a little bit, yeah. There's so much more Hakuri can do just by being there for Chihiro in a way no one else can right now. Chihiro needs his heroine to be vulnerable with, so let it be the guy who's already done the heavy lifting! Hakuri's a sturdy guy, after all- I'm sure he can handle being comic relief and emotional support.

Alright. HakuHiro delusions aside, I'm also going absolutely apeshit over the parallels being drawn here during the chapter. Feral. Certifiably insane. Cannot stop myself from jizzing all over the goddamn place. If Hokazono-sensei can keep this quality storytelling through Kagurabachi's entire run it'll be a fucking masterpiece.

I mentioned at the start that Mr. Inazuma's sister was used to foreshadow that the fight between Kyoura and team HakuHiro wouldn't end decisively this chapter. Her situation won't be resolved until the Rakuzaichi is completely over with, so that catharsis will have to wait. What we did get is absolutely stellar though. Kyoura definitely got the ultimate comeuppance for constantly underestimating Hakuri, too. The dialogue and inner thoughts leading up to this were a work of art- the reveal of Hakuri promising to overtake his dad as a kid and finally doing just that after being deemed worthless is mega satisfying (and another sign his arc is complete, but I choose to live in delulu land). However, it was the Daddy Issues theme that really stole the show for me this chapter.

Chihiro's conversation with Kyoura really drives home the irreconcilable differences they have on what it means to be a father, or even a family in the first place:

The Sazanamis are just a "clan" to Kyoura. A group of people dedicated to hosting the Rakuzaichi before anything else. Blood ties are only worthwhile for passing down Isou and the storehouse ability; there's no love lost between any member. And Chihiro most definitely does not agree with that mentality. We're constantly reminded of his rebuke about Kyoura's "best" being belief in Hakuri for a reason...

... because he is the antithesis of everything Chihiro believes a father should be. Chihiro's got some personal beef with this guy beyond reclaiming Shinuchi after seeing how he treats his kids. (This guy gets attached to people and starts killing for them right away if they've got dead or abusive parents… we love to see that empathy being manifested as murderous intent.)

This sequence killed me though:

Kyoura is paying the ultimate price for not loving his kids like a real father should. He's fucking toast because he stopped believing in Hakuri. Chihiro's outlook is validated in this victory, as is Hakuri's entire existence. Obviously there's a lot more still going on with the auction itself but it's almost mission accomplished and emotional catharsis achieved for Hakuri. Then we see the biggest message of this arc so far when Kyoura hides himself in the floor to keep the auction going at all costs… fanatical devotion at the expense of love leads to a Bad End. It's sad to see this guy put his whole being into selling a sword, man. He's dying and his only thought is to finish the auction. Not to seek help from his kids or even check on them, not to spare some dying words for Hakuri or the Tou or anyone else. He doesn't even question the life he lived that led to this point like you'd seen in other manga- Kyoura isn't shaken one bit by his untimely demise. He only cares about giving the highest bidder their merchandise.

That's the lesson here for Chihiro. He's hellbent on revenge right now- gather the swords, fuck up the Hishaku clan that killed his father. But losing himself in it will leave him no better off than Kyoura; even if he succeeds, he'll die alone in the end. His devotion to revenge is as strong as Kyoura's is to hold the auction. Both are rooted in their family's ideals and upbringing as well. Chihiro's saving grace is that he was raised with love and knows how to care. Forgetting all that, or giving that up to see his plans through will be a bad sign for his development. The people close to him will have to keep him centered or else he'll see the same terrible end (as much as it's possible; he's a very sad and broken boy). And we the reader will expect someone to be there to remind him of his humanity if he starts to show shades of this in future arcs. This very chapter, Hakuri had to encourage Chihiro to kill his dad even after he'd already asked him to do it- Chihiro's a kind guy even when he's in a fight to the death. This is precious. He can't lose this quality- we should be very alert for anything that hints at him starting to do so, because that will be the start of a very, very rough arc for him.

What about Hakuri? Well, he's been thoroughly vindicated ever since he awakened to his abilities; this whole raid has been his self-redemption arc. His character will probably be pretty complete once this is done, though there are lots of avenues to explore with him if Hokazono-sensei hears our pleas and keeps him around. He could have lingering trauma that needs to be healed- killing his dad won't help him escape his own demons after all. He's got a learning curve ahead to master his newfound abilities too. And perhaps even after finding his strength, he's still too hard on himself and needs someone to keep pushing him forward. Maybe once his life's mission is done he'll struggle with some dark emotions and need someone to help pull him out. There are plenty of little things to delve into with him to help us gain more insight into Chihiro! Please I'm so desperate to keep him around Hokazono-sensei for the love of god don't separate these boys. They're perfect supports for each other and as we all know, boys who suffer together should find solace together. If Azami/Shiba and Hiyuki/Tafuku can be foil pairs so can Hakuri/Chihiro! (Fuck me, I'm too invested already…)

Anyway. Kagurabachi continues to be peak fiction and I can't wait for what we'll see next week. If Hakuri becomes a permanent crew member I will glady put the clown suit away and start huffing copium that we'll see enough success to get an anime adaptation. I might even start writing fan fiction again (horror). If not, well... he'll still be dear to my heart. Peace out Bachibros who read this nonsense and stay tenoí.

[bananacockatiel]

Remember when i used to draw aha

Have Sage art that i finally forking finished after literal months of neglecting it

Also don’t look at it too hard ples and fankyew

I miss my cat man,,, miss him so much,,,

[pinkrose05]

I think we as a society should talk a lot more about Ren's implicit phoenix symbolism. Just a thought.