#being who they shouldn’t abuse

[avpd-queer]

I feel bad that my former best friend is in a toxic relationship and can’t see it, is throwing away their friends of over a decade for her, but I also can’t stop remembering how, when I shared with them that I had just learned I had been cheated on and gaslighted about it for 6 years, their response was concern about my abuser’s mental health. That conversation didn’t affect their relationship with him in the slightest, they didn’t try to be there for me or show up for me to him, and when I they learned that I was going to get back with that person just a few days later, expecting them to be like, “uh no I don’t think that’s a good idea” (like everyone else had done and like I expected from them, having told them “just don’t let any of your friends date him” when I shared that I was leaving him, thinking they could help me figure out where to sleep and how to adjust), they didn’t protest at all. I was glad to avoid the awkwardness of, “thank you for your concern but I don’t have other options and idk I guess I’m gullible but also I just really want to believe it’ll get better” but also hurt that they didn’t seem concerned for my well-being. Hoping that they just didn’t voice that part because I’m an adult and can make decisions and already know what advice I would give myself. I just had to cling to believing that, and thinking maybe they don’t understand what gaslighting is and that’s why they didn’t seem to care, even as they became less and less my friend and eventually dropped both of us for trying to set a boundary with them about their girlfriend. And the only way they offer for me to be there for them through their relationship is to stuff down all of my needs and feelings, go along with every whim of their girlfriend, and accept that we will never get time with them without her ever again. They kept pretending like everything was okay and they totally understood, when we were face-to-face, and then they’d go home and suddenly we’re horrible and need to apologize to her for…being her friend? Trying to get more time with our best friend? Being honest with our best friend when they ask why we haven’t been able to get closer to their girlfriend? We were trying to be adult and trust in the strength of our friendship, but they fully gave in to their girlfriend’s temper tantrum over her misinterpretation of messages she logged into their discord to read, and they have just fully thrown us away. Ghosted us for pride and haven’t communicated with us in any form since. We had some extra pizza from a canceled event at my partner’s work that I left on their doorstep and had my sister text about, and they responded that they were out of the country, visiting her family. Normally we have two weekly dnd sessions and 1-2 weekly hangout sessions - the first week of dnd was canceled and after that, they just never showed up. This month of nothing is one of the few months we had left before they were going to move to where her family lives in the US, like 10hr drive from here, being fully isolated with her, without a support system, away from the support system they haven’t been away from in like 8 years (when I was in New York - my partner was here during those 2 years, they were roommates).

I’m just so hurt. They meant so much to me, I planned on having them in my life for the rest of it. I knew in the last relationship they were in they let us fall to the side some but she broke up with them and they realized how absorbed they’d been and promised to not let it happen again. Before meeting the current girlfriend, who they immediately got absorbed into. I don’t know what the fuck to do.

[nikkiruncks]

Hyde accusing Jackie of “threatening him” because she doesn’t want to be with a guy who doesn’t know if they have a future together is so immature.

Even with Eric & Donna’s breakup, I can see both sides and I’m not mad at either of them. Even where there were signs of them being incompatible, I was able to understand BOTH of them and sympathize.

But before Don't Lie To Me, HYDE is the one being a jerk and acting like a child. He promises Jackie that he’ll be at the LOPPs party then bails on the last minute and BLAMES HER. Then when Jackie calls him out on his immaturity, Hyde keeps saying that she’s overreacting.

Also Jackie wanting to know if they have a future is completely valid given that she’s going to be out of high school and out in the real world. She and Hyde have been together for over a year. It’s one thing for Hyde not to know, but he was being such a dick about it. He could’ve said ‘I don’t know. I want us to have a future but anything can happen’. But literally all the guy says is “i don’t know”.

While I understand why Hyde was unsure and has these doubts, especially given how he’s grown up. He should still be held accountable. Obviously just because Hyde has the Formans, WB, and Leo doesn’t mean things will be magically fine. But he has a hell of a lot of support than he did in season 1. He could just find a way to open up and obviously that would be a struggle, but he should at the very least make an effort.

So for him to accuse Jackie of “threatening” him because she doesn’t want to be stuck in a going nowhere relationship. And literally never seeming to change this mindset and making Jackie not talk about their future because of his own insecurities. Instead of just TALKING her, is pretty damn immature if you ask me. And once again, I understand why it would be difficult, but that shouldn’t be used as a shield of absolve responsibility. He should LEARN how to be more open about the future and talking about it.

[quietwingsinthesky]

went into the notes of that poll going around about if people want more seasons of supernatural and was immediately slapped in the face with how different my priorities are in this fandom from. a lot of it. what are you talking about ‘destiel endgame’. girl the show has bigger problems to fix than that if it ever had more seasons. they taught a three year old that the best way to be loved was to continuously try to kill himself and then they made him god.

[lesbian-space-fish]

would say that everyone blogging about iwtvamc needs to read the book but clearly some of yall just don’t have the brain power to make it through

[littlest-bugz]

How I look when the rock I live under prevents me from keeping up with current internet news meaning I accidentally support the shittiest, worst fucking people

[img doesnt belong to me]

[teethbomb]

alador blight fan mood board

[mars-ipan]

i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much

[mayushiis]

it’s kind of concerning how a fair portion of the oshi no ko fandom is blaming aqua for all the incest as if he’s still an adult and thus still able to be held responsible for ruby’s actions. just because ruby was a minor when she died does not excuse her from responsibility for sexually harassing and emotionally manipulating her brother 😐

[godblooded]

someone: I hate the targs they’re problematic af

the internet was a mistake.

[autopsytableromance]

Oppositional defiant disorder I hate you forever

[atopvisenyashill]

i don’t care that rhaenyra’s oldest are illegitimate not bc i’m a targ stan who thinks she can do no wrong but because legitimacy is a social construct that does nothing more than enforce the patriarchy and class system, and rhaenyra having kids out of wedlock with a man she is consenting to sex with is fine, actually, and if you’re hung up on that it is my opinion that you are clinging to the rules of propriety and patriarchy when analyzing her because you think she should be punished for having sex outside marriage and not like, all the things she actually does that are morally wrong, which is like, textbook misogyny.

“but the lords” so the thing is i don’t give a shit if the lords think she’s a slut. i understand the time period bc not only am i not stupid, i also understand that it is still a big issue in many communities for mothers to have children out of wedlock. i am saying i do not care because it’s a fake issue the way “brienne can’t really be a knight because she’s a woman” and “sansa can’t rule winterfell when she has true born younger brothers” or whatever else. legitimacy is a tool of the patriarchy, of colonialism irl, of classism, and the argument “rhaenyra is a bad person for having children out of wedlock when she knew that would put them in danger” is stupid bc legitimacy doesn’t fucking matter and neither does marriage.

[holydramon]

hey everyone go do me a favor and vote amane innocent. you need a twitter account to do so btw…

[daydreamerdrew]

Captain Marvel Adventures (1941) #45

[playdestroy]

what’s also strange is that despite the fact that I rarely (if ever) talk about my body type, and I never describe myself as dainty or waifish and don’t really subscribe to the coquette aesthetic— that’s how you’re describing me. obsessively. someone who was close to me and knew my actual values (intersectional feminism, leftism, anti racism, social justice, etc.) is reducing me to a caricature that only exists online. why, do you think my blog & pinterest are an accurate representation of who I am as a person irl, or does your activism begin and end on tumblr? grow the fuck up.

[starlooove]

On that same note ppl who say they hate when Tim is like Bruce have truly lost the plot

[nappingpaperclip]

taking every parent by the shoulders and shaking them aggressively

Yelling at/threatening/hitting your child does nothing but make them scared of you

Yelling at your child won’t make them stop crying

Yelling at your child won’t stop their bad behavior

Stop being mean to your fucking kids

Stop trying to make your kids be who you wanted to be, they are their own person and your job is to cultivate that person

Stop emotionally checking out after your kids hit puberty!

Your kids did not ask to be born, you may not have either but you chose to keep them

I don’t care how tired, broke or, down you are, if you take it out on your child you are a piece of shit and your kid is going to grow up to resent you for it

If you feel the need to hit your kids for having emotions or acting badly you did not “turn out fine” being scared of your parents is not normal!

BE THE PARENT YOU WISH YOUR PARENTS WERE

And if you find yourself struggling to keep calm: GET HELP FOR IT! Your kids should not have to bear the brunt of your unresolved issues!