#and not so weird and attack-y about his phone and computer and social medias

[comfortbucky]

Hey! If requests are still open I was wondering if I could request a fluffy fic where reader is having a bad day and Bucky notices and cheers them up? 💗💗

HELL YEAH!!!

REQUESTS!!! ARE!!! OPEN!!!

𝘀𝗲𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗸𝗲𝘁 ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ｡˚ ☁︎ ˚

pairing: bodyguard!bucky x fem!reader

warnings: anxiety, anxiety attack

tags: grumpy!bucky, bodyguard!bucky, fluffy bucky!!!

A/N: okay i have never written bodyguard!bucky before but i just thought it would be such a sweet concept to see him being soft🥺

sorry if the ending is kind of bad😭 i didn’t know how to quite wrap it all up, but i hope u enjoy!!!!!!!! <3 i had so much fun writing about bodyguard!bucky!!!!!

word count: 2.9k

my masterlist!

completed requests!

Y/N groaned as her phone alarm went off and hit snooze for the fifth time. She reached her hand out, head facing away and resting on her pillow, fumbling for her phone to turn off the incessant sound. Before she could shut it off, the noise stopped. Y/N turned her head slightly to see a large, dark figure in the corner of her eye. She turned her head fully to see her bodyguard with a frown on his face as he shut her alarm off.

“Your alarm, it’s annoying,” Bucky grumbled. “You should get up anyways, busy schedule today.” He walked out of the room before she could respond. Super soldier hearing was no joke if he was able to hear her alarm from his bedroom down the hall. Y/N sighed as her face planted into the pillow.

She was not looking forward to the events planned out for the day. During the day, there was a slew of interviews she had, back to back, and at night, a gala she was being forced to attend by her father.

Being the daughter of a wealthy tech tycoon had its perks for sure, but Y/N did not consider all of the press she did as a part of them. She never liked being in the spotlight but was forced to be, a birthright she had. Growing up with her dad, she’d developed a fascination for tinkering with computers, game consoles, and everything in-between. She spent a lot, practically all of her free time, with her dad when her mom had passed away. Her dad ended up throwing himself into his life’s work and she worked with him closely in the beginning, but slowly started to drift apart from him as she started to make a name for herself.

Earlier that week, her dad had sent her a text, informing her that a big announcement would be made at the gala. Big parties and large crowds weren’t really her thing, but it seemed like she didn’t have the option to avoid this one.

She got ready for the day, walking down to her kitchen to see her bodyguard, Bucky, sitting at the table, reading a book. As soon as he heard her come down the steps, he stood up and put his book away.

“C’mon, we’re already running late,” he mumbled, making his way to the door. Y/N rolled her eyes in response, grabbing a granola bar as she briskly followed behind him.

When her dad became a big name in the world of tech, the last thing Y/N thought she needed was a bodyguard, but her dad felt otherwise. It took one, very close call, of her almost getting mugged for her dad to immediately assign a personal bodyguard for her. She insisted that it was unnecessary, seeing that she was a fully grown adult, but her dad refused, as he was the one paying for Bucky’s salary.

Bucky had always been rather closed off since the beginning, and not much had changed since he was first assigned to her a little over a year ago. He kept their relationship very professional, only speaking when necessary and leaving the room whenever he wasn’t needed. She had tried to get him to open up more, learn about his past, but he always shut her questions down by either ignoring her or changing the topic to discussing something work-related. He was an enigma to her, which only left her wanting to solve the mystery that was James Bucky Barnes but couldn’t seem to crack the code.

Her first two interviews went smoothly, exactly what she was used to. A couple of questions about her current projects at work, some about her dad sprinkled in, and what she had planned for the future. It was a format she was used to and had come to appreciate, not exactly enjoying being the center of attention. During her last interview, however, she was caught off guard by one of the last questions she was asked.

“I know this might be an awkward question to ask, but I just have to! The people want to know: do you think your dad’s ever going to return to the dating pool?”

Y/N choked on her saliva. She knew her dad was an attractive man, seeing posts on social media of people fawning over him. Although she found it to be very weird and uncomfortable, she just brushed it all aside, not wanting to think about it as it only led to her thinking about the loss of her mom, a sore spot for her.

Y/N cleared her throat and forced out a chuckle. “I think that’s a question only he can answer, I don’t always know what’s going on in that crazy head of his.”

The interviewer laughed and proceeded to transition into the next segment. Y/N quickly thanked the interviewer and left, Bucky swiftly following behind. He had a feeling that something was off, as Y/N would typically stay behind to chat with the interviewer, crew members, even the service staff, whenever she finished an interview. It was always something he admired about her, how down to earth she remained, despite all of the privileges she had. She went out of her way to thank everyone on set, no matter how small their role might seem. He always told the drivers to pull the car up a little later than originally planned, just so she would have the extra time to talk.

Y/N pushed the doors open, only to find an empty street. She turned around and gave Bucky a curious look.

“Sorry, the driver just texted me,” he said, as he sent a text to the driver, telling him to come now. “He’s running late.”

Y/N nodded and leaned against the wall, looking down to fiddle with her hands. Bucky leaned against the opposite wall, facing her, his arms crossed over his chest.

“You okay?”

Y/N looked up at Bucky to find a gentle look in his eyes, slightly taken aback at the sight. She always found herself drawn to his piercing blue eyes, but they usually had a colder glint to them. This was a look she’d never seen before.

“Yeah, ‘m fine,” she replied, averting her gaze down as she felt her cheeks flush at the sight of Bucky’s soft gaze.

The car arrived, cutting off Bucky’s train of thought as he was thinking of what to say to her. For a moment he debated on continuing the conversation in the car but figured she already had a long night ahead of her and didn’t want to push any further.

After a quick pit stop back to Y/N’s place, allowing her to change into an evening gown, the car headed to the venue of the gala. Bucky got out of the car before her, walking around to the other side to open her door. Before she stepped out, Y/N took a deep breath in and exhaled, plastering a fake smile on her face as a surge of flashing lights from cameras greeted her. Bucky watched, seeing her seamlessly transform from Y/N, the girl who needed to set a million alarms before actually waking up, to Y/N, tech extraordinaire, one of the most powerful people in the tech world.

Once they were inside the venue, Bucky stuck to his usual routine. Scope out the exits, look for any potential threats, and make sure Y/N was in his eyesight. Bucky kept close by but also kept his distance. He wanted to make sure that he gave her enough space whenever they were out, knowing that having him around was her dad’s idea and that she wasn’t too fond of having security detail in the first place. So he did everything he could to make himself blend in with the crowd, allowing her to roam freely, only following her when she moved out of his line of vision.

Y/N walked around, not knowing a single soul but making polite small talk with the rest of the guests. She became accustomed to knowing how to act at these types of events over the span of her adult life. Food, drinks, more food, home. Crowds made her uneasy, but she always felt calmer when she saw Bucky in her peripheral vision. Y/N would never admit it out loud, but over the last year, he had become a constant source of relief at these public events. Just knowing that he was there if she felt uncomfortable, unsafe, or wanted to leave early made her public outings much more bearable.

“Hey, sweetie! I’m so glad you made it.” Y/N turned around at the sound of her dad’s voice and smiled, moving in to hug him.

“Yeah well, you said you had a big announcement, so I figured I’d stop by,” she joked, eliciting a chuckle from her dad as they pulled away from each other.

“I’m about to make it now,” he started, placing his hands on Y/N’s shoulders. “And I was wondering if you could join me on stage for it? I know that’s not your thing, but it would mean so much to me, Y/N.”

While she absolutely hated the idea of having to stand in front of thousands of people, she reluctantly nodded. Y/N and her dad had slowly grown apart the past several years, only talking a couple times a month to catch up. With both of their busy schedules, they always seemed to miss each other. Despite their growing apart, she would do anything for her dad, especially if it meant so much to him.

Bucky slowly followed behind, as Y/N and her dad walked up to the stage. Y/N glanced behind her to give a slight smile to Bucky, to which he nodded back. He stood backstage, watching them from behind the curtains.

“Hi everyone, thanks so much for coming out tonight,” Y/N’s dad spoke into the mic. She was standing beside him, hands clasped in front of her, trying to look calm and not totally anxious.

“Since the success of my brand, people have said that I am a man who has everything. And I definitely have a lot to be thankful for, my company, my friends, and most importantly, my daughter.” Her dad extended a hand out to point to Y/N and the crowd cheered. Bucky couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips. Despite his brooding attitude, he had come to grow fond of Y/N, being able to see her for who she truly was. She was smart, witty, and had a heart of gold.

“The only thing I’ve been missing,” her dad looks down at the ground for a second, before looking back out at the crowd. “Is someone to share it all with.” Y/N’s smile faltered and felt her stomach drop. She couldn’t fully register the words coming out of her dad’s mouth.

“After Sarah, my wife had passed, I didn’t think I would be able to love again. Until I met Alyssa.” Y/N was frozen in place upon hearing her dad’s confession. She’d never heard of anyone named Alyssa during any of their catch-up calls and now he was saying he loved her? Y/N quickly turned as a woman walked out on stage. The woman walked over to her dad and he wrapped one of his arms around her waist before speaking.

“Now I feel complete, now I have everything.” He pulled Y/N to him and wrapped his other arm around her shoulders, smiling for the cameras ahead. There were a lot of strategies Y/N had devised over the years to deal with potential unexpected and uncomfortable situations in a composed manner to avoid having a PR nightmare.

She didn’t have one for this.

Tearing herself from her dad’s hold, she ran off stage, heading towards the exit that led to the outside. Y/N took in the fresh air, trying to stop her hyperventilating. It wasn’t working. Her chest felt tight as she began gasping for air, struggling to take in oxygen.

She was having a panic attack. It was nothing she hadn’t experienced before, but it had been so long since she’d had one. The last time she remembered, was at her mom’s funeral.

Her mom. Her dad. Alyssa.

Her thoughts were pushed aside as her vision blurred, her eyes swelling up with tears. Y/N felt like she had no control over her body and shut her eyes, allowing the panic to consume her.

Then, a firm, but gentle, warm feeling in her hands.

Y/N blinked her eyes open to reveal Bucky, standing in front of her. She looked down and saw that it was his hands in hers, holding them tight.

“Can you breathe for me, honey?”

His voice came out in a soft whisper, accompanied by the warmest and welcoming smile. She shook her head, unable to control her quick and rapid breaths. Bucky squeezed her hands a little tighter, rubbing his thumb in small circles on the back of her hand.

“Yes you can, just breathe with me, okay?”

He started to breathe in and out slowly and eventually, she was able to follow his lead, deciding to focus on his eyes. There was that look from before the ride to the gala, the gentle look in his eyes. She’d always felt that his blue eyes reminded her of stormy seas, but now, now they made her think of the calmness of the ocean in the early morning, waves crashing softly on the shores.

As she regained her composure, she realized she’d been staring into Bucky’s eyes for, probably, far too long. Bucky felt her tight grip on his hands loosen and reluctantly let go of her hands. He immediately missed the softness of her hands and how small they were in comparison to his much larger, calloused, hands.

“T- Thank you,” she stuttered out, her gaze locked on the ground, as she placed her hands to her sides.

“It’s no problem. I get them too,” he replied. She looked up at him as he clarified. “Panic attacks. PTSD from serving overseas.”

Y/N face drops, her stomach churning at the thought that Bucky had ever experienced panic like she had. She returned her gaze to the ground as a silence washed over them.

“He didn’t tell me about her,” she spoke in a quiet voice. “Never brought her up once. But I guess she must be pretty special for him to do all of this.”

Bucky stood a couple steps in front of her, seeing teardrops fall from her face. She lifted her head up to wipe away her tears, her hands shaking from anxiety. Y/N placed her hands on her face and started to sob.

She was slightly hurt by the idea of her dad loving any other woman than her mom but knew that he’d have to move on eventually. What hurt her the most was the fact that he didn’t tell her, not until they were on stage, standing before a crowd of people. It was too much for her to handle and she reached her breaking point.

Bucky’s heart dropped at the sight. He cautiously stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her tightly. Something his PTSD had taught him was how pressure from a hug could help relax the nervous system and calm him down. He held her firmly in his arms until he felt her breathing slow. She looked up at him, remaining in his embrace, her eyes glassy from crying, nose red and sniffly. Bucky felt his heart skip a beat and immediately pushed the thought away.

“You wanna leave, honey?”

She nodded in response, staying in his arms for just a second longer before pulling away. Y/N longed for his warm touch, feeling like a child who had their security blanket taken away. It didn’t help that it was also cold outside, sending a chill down her spine.

Bucky noticed and shrugged his suit jacket off to wrap around her shoulders. She beamed a smile at him and he smiled back.

The pair walked around the outside of the venue to find the car when they ran into a mob of paparazzi, shouting questions at Y/N about her sudden exit. Like a reflex, she grabbed hold of Bucky’s hand and he gave her a comforting squeeze as he cleared a path towards the car.

Bucky and Y/N were sat next to each other in the car, which was not the typical seating arrangement they usually had, usually sitting on opposite ends of the car. But Y/N hadn’t let go of his hand, not quite ready to separate herself from his warmth. Bucky had absolutely no problem with that, mindlessly rubbing his thumb against the back of her hand. She felt safe. She always felt safe with Bucky around.

Y/N felt her eyelids become heavy, struggling to keep them open. She was exhausted from her long day, and her panic attack had taken most of her energy away.

Bucky felt a weight on his shoulder and turned his head slightly to see Y/N’s head resting there. He felt a warmth rush to his cheeks and smiled, resting his head on top of hers.

“Thank you for tonight, Bucky,” she mumbled, keeping her eyes closed. “You always make me feel so safe.”

Bucky felt a surge of tenderness rush through him. That was all he ever wanted to do. He wanted to keep her safe. He kissed her forehead, causing her to snuggle closer to him.

“Of course, honey. I’m here, always.”

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

Namjoon Scenario| You’re his favorite YouTuber and you come to Seoul

Namjoon had a notification pop up on his phone that you were doing a livestream on YouTube. He immediately clicked it open, figuring he could listen while he was working on some lyrics for their new album. 

“Alright everyone I’m just going to wait a few minutes for some more people to come in and then we’ll get started.” When he saw your bright and smiling face he felt his heart flutter in his chest. Somewhere along the way his feelings towards you became something more than a fan admiring their favorite Youtuber. In the past year of watching you, he’s grown to know you. How kind you are, how funny you are, how much you care for those around you. He continues to write his lyrics until you officially start the stream. 

“Okay so let’s get started then! This is just kind of a life update I guess?  I won’t be posting videos for a while.  I know I know, I’m sorry but it’s for an extremely amazing, good, and happy reason. I’m going to South Korea. Can you believe it? I’ve been wanting to go for so long and recently have been thinking about moving there. I wanted to visit to see the country and make sure that it’s a place I want to live in, get accustomed to it and everything. And I finally am going to see my favorite group perform too! I’m sure you all have heard me talking about them enough to know that it’s BTS right?” Namjoon nearly jumps out of his computer chair as he hears you say this. You’re coming to South Korea?? To attend their concert?! He starts dancing in his chair happily celebrating. “I probably won’t be too active on social media I hope you all can forgive me. I may make a vlog or two and post some photos but I really just want to enjoy my time there through my eyes and not a phone screen you know? Maybe take a photo at the concert.  Oh gosh I can’t believe I am going to be so close to them.” He finds your words and the slight blush on your face adorable. He can’t resist as he types a question for you.

You talk about BTS a lot but you’ve never mentioned who your bias is?

“Realme94 wants to know who’s my bias? Ah, you’re right I guess I have never mentioned it. I love them all so much it’s hard to choose but.. if I had to I would without a doubt say Namjoon.” Butterflies erupt in his stomach. 

Why do you like him?

“I mean what’s there not to like? He’s had the world on his shoulders and he handles it with grace. He takes care of the members all so well. He looks after them. He’s extremely talented I mean have you heard his mixtape? He can sing, he can rap, he can dance. He can do it all. And those dimples. Oh gosh.” Namjoon is smiling so widely now he feels like his cheeks are going to fall off.

Do you want to meet him?

“Of course I would love to meet him. But that’s never going to happen. I am honestly just happy to go visit their home country and learn about their culture. And get to see them perform. I couldn’t ask for anything more.” Hearing your kind response made him decide that he had to meet you. Opportunities like this don’t come around too often. You are finally going to be in the same country as him, the same city. 

He tries to think of how he should approach this. Should he message you and ask you to meet him somewhere, ah but how could he prove its acrually him. Maybe he could have their management upgrade your tickets and get you a backstage pass, act like they were running some contest and you got randomly selected. That could work, but then he would have to wait to meet you until after the show when he was exhausted and tired. Or he could try to figure out where you were staying, ah no that would make him seem like he’s stalking you. He has an internal debate with himself for a few more minutes before Yoongi walks into the studio. 

“Namjoon, we have rehearsal today for the show. Are you coming?” 

“Yeah sorry!” Yoongi glances over his shoulder and sees your stream still going on.

“Ah is that why you’re late? Watching the love of your life eh?” 

“Y/n is not! I don’t even know them. But guess what?! They’re coming to Seoul for our concert. Isn’t that amazing?” 

“It is. You gonna find a way to meet up?”

“I want to.. but I’m still trying to work it out..” 

“Just approach y/n at the show. Get them a backstage pass or something.” 

“You think I should?”

“I think if you don’t do something to finally meet this person you have been pining after for a year now I am going to take matters into my own hands and make it happen myself.”  Namjoon laughs but feels better after being encouraged by his friend. 

“Alright Yoongi. I’ll work it out.” 

It’s now the day of the show and Namjoon has had the his plan worked out for a few days now. He smiles to himself as he thinks about the fact that pretty soon he is going to get to meet you. You had got there hours before the show started, wanting to walk around and have time to buy merch, take photos and just take in everything, maybe participate in a random play dance. As you are walking to have your bag checked before entering the grounds of the stadium you see a group of security point at you, leaving you feeling not only a little scared but nervous. One of them approaches you.

“Can I see your ID please?” You are shaking as you reach into your bag to pull it out and hand it to the man. 

“Alright can you come with us please?”

“Umm.. y-yes. Have I done something wrong?”

“No not at all. You were randomly chosen to be given VIP access. If you come with us we can take you back stage and you can meet the members.” It takes everything in you not to scream. Is this actually happening right now? You reach down and pinch your arm rather harshly causing you to wince.

“Ouch.”

“What are you doing?” One of the security asks you. 

“Just pinching myself to make sure I am not dreaming. Alright then I guess I’ll follow you.” You allow yourself to be guided away, and feel tons of eyes on your back as you walk away, no doubt wondering what exactly was going on. With every step you take your heart rate quickens and you feel your palms getting sweatier. You finally come to stop outside of the door. One of them hands you a badge that says VIP on it. 

“Alright you can go in now.” They walk away leaving you standing dumbfounded outside of the door. Should you knock? Or just head in? You raise your hand up and are about to knock when suddenly it swings open. And you honestly feel like you’re going to faint. You are now face to face with Namjoon. The Kim Namjoon that you have been admiring for years now. 

“Hey! You must be y/n. Glad you could make it.” Him saying your name snaps you out of your min fangirl attack.

“How did you know my name?”

“Ah, okay. Well.. come inside and sit down please? This may all seem kind of weird and all but.. I’ve known about you for a while now.” You enter into the room and see the rest of the members around getting their makeup, and hair done. When you enter the room all eyes are on you. You wave shyly at all of them and they all give you an enthusiastic hello back before you sit down on the couch with Namjoon. “So.. remember the other day when you were talking to a Realme94?”

“Yes..”

“That was me. I’ve been watching your videos for about a year now and I really love y- I mean I love your videos! And you seem like such a nice and sweet person and when I found out you were coming here to see us perform well.. I couldn’t not meet you.” 

“You.. wanted to meet me..?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?” 

“Because I’m just some silly person making videos in their room and you’re.. Namjoon?” 

“And you’re y/n. A sweet and kind hearted, funny person that I would absolutely love to get to know better.” Your head is swimming as you are taking all of this in. You begin to giggle and Namjoon looks at you, confused.

“I’ve finally lost my mind haven’t I?” Suddenly Jungkook walks over and puts a hand on your shoulder.

“Y/n listen, My hyung here has been pining after you for a year now. He’s a huge fan of you, and when he found out you were not only coming to Seoul but thinking about moving here.. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so happy. He’s trying to downplay how nervous and excited he is right now but he’s smitten with you.”

“Jungkook!” “Sorry hyung. But y/n needed to hear that and I could tell you were dancing around the subject.” Jungkook sits down on the edge of the couch forcing Namjoon to move even closer to you.

“Is that true Namjoon?”

“For the most part yes..”

“For the entire part yes you mean!” Shouts Yoongi.

“Wow you all are really just out to expose me aren’t you?” You can’t help but laugh at how flustered he is getting at their teasing.

“Hey, it’s alright Namjoon. Really you have no idea how flattered I am by all this. It actually makes me really happy. I guess you already know that I really admire you after our conversation then. Oh gosh how much embarrassing stuff have I said in my streams..” You’re having an internal crisis remembering all of the things you have said.

“Well, I mean now that I am here in person you can poke my dimples like you’ve always wanted.” Your face flushes bright red as you remember all of the times you’ve fangirled over Namjoon. He laughs and pokes your cheek, causing you to smile.  “I’m just teasing you y/n. Really it’s endearing. And I hope I am not being too forward but since I have been living in Seoul for years now maybe tomorrow I could give you a tour? Show you around the city, all of the good places to live..” 

“That would be awesome. But how are we going to meet up again?” Namjoon blushes again and clears his throat.

“Ah, well I mean we could exchange numbers and you could tell me where to meet you in the afternoon?”

“Smooth, hyung.” Jungkook chimes in which earns him an elbow to the ribs.

“That sounds great. Let me see your phone, I’ll put my number in.” You two take each other’s phones and put your numbers in there.

“Well, I don’t want to keep you any longer. We have to get ready for the show. But if you walk back out of here one of the guards will take you to your seat. We upgraded it so you can be in the front row.”

“But the show doesn’t start for another hour and a half. I wanted merch…” Namjoon can’t help but laugh at your pouting.

“What do you want y/n? I’ll bring it tomorrow when I pick you up.”

“Really?!”

“Yes of course.” You tell him the shirts you were thinking about getting as well as an army bomb.

“Ah well you’ll need the light stick before the show..” He walks to the back of the room and looks in a bag before he comes out with one.

“You can have mine. I can always get another one before the show starts.”

“Namjoon I can’t-”

“Please.. I want you to have it.” He smiles at you and places it in your hand.

“Thanks you.. Seriously this is way more than I ever could have hoped for.” 

“Just wait until tomorrow! I’ll make sure you get the full city experience.” You smile and thank him again, saying goodbye to all the members before walking out of the room. You follow the guard to your seat and sit down. You are lost in your own thoughts processing everything that happened before when the army bomb in your hand starts changing colors and lands on the color purple. Namjoon must have had it synced up to his phone and was changing the colors on it. You smile to yourself as the venue starts filling up, not sure if you’re more excited for the show, or getting to spend time with Namjoon tomorrow. 

[vsquadgoals]

Can I get something along the lines of you are on tour with Scott and he starts acting weird and you think he’s mad about something but then surprises you by asking you to be his girlfriend on stage please and thank you! I love your writing so much, you’re amazing💕🥺

I’m sorry this took me so long! I loved this idea so much and I really wanted to take my time on it! I hope I did it justice my love! 

Y/n and Bruce had been friends for years, since he first moved to LA, she was the one who took all his pictures and did most of the behind the scenes for his videos so when he started dating Carly she was so excited for him and grateful when he introduced her to their friend group. Y/n fit right in with the ‘vlog squad’ they all were obsessed with her sweet but shy personality; little did they know at first that her shyness would quickly disappear when she got comfortable around them. Y/n had been taking pictures since she could hold a camera and now that she was living in LA and living her dream of being a fulltime photographer, she couldn’t be happier. She developed such an amazing friendship with the group, and she was so grateful to Bruce for that but mostly she was grateful for him introducing her to Scott. Scott was who Y/n clicked with the best and got closest two, they were both just such creative and artistic people it was hard for them to not attract each other; this was also why her and Bruce got along so well but with her and Scott there was something different there.  

It was a normal Sunday afternoon, Y/n was sitting in her office at her apartment editing some pictures from a recent photoshoot she had done. She had her a playlist playing from her google speaker that Scott had made for her full of songs he said she would fall in love with, he was right. Y/n was interrupted by a text from Bruce.  

Brucey: Can I come by quick? I have to talk to you about something.  

Y/n: doors open, in the office.  

She answered him quickly before turning her attention back to the photos, Bruce lived in the same apartment building as Y/n, so it wasn’t long before she heard her apartment door open and close. “Hey y/n/n.” He said as he walked into the office and sat on the couch she had against the wall. “What’s up bud?” She asks giving him her full attention and resting her chin on her hand. “Well...” Bruce chews his lip and smirks looking at her. “How would you like to come on tour with me and Scotty and do all the photography?” He asks the smirk on his lips spreading when her eyes almost bug out of her face. “Jesus Bruce, you don’t waste any time do you.” She says giggling caught off guard. “Is that a yes?” he asks looking hopeful. Y/n giggles and rolls her eyes. “Obviously, you know I’d do anything for you and Scott.” She said making him smirk again and raise his eyebrows. “Don’t even say anything.” She says pointing to him. Bruce was the first one to accuse her of having feelings for Scott, he knew Y/n and Scott too well to not be able to tell when she likes someone, it wasn’t hard to tell though, her and Scott were almost always with each other and if they’re together chances are they’re flirting as well. Bruce held his hands up in defense and chuckled. “I wasn’t going to say anything, all I know is Scott is going to be so happy you said yes.” He says as he stands and starts to head out. “Bye Bud.” She shouts as he heads out of her apartment.  

It was now two days before they left for tour, Y/n was in her apartment with Carly scrambling to get everything packed that she would need. Carly giggles from Y/n’s bed watching her run around like a chicken with their head cut off. “Y/n, relax, you still have two more days if you don’t finish today.” Y/n frowns at her finally sitting on the floor next to her pile of close on the floor and suitcase. “I know, I’m just so nervous, this is the biggest thing I’ve ever done Carl.” Carly smiles at her. “I know, but you’re made for this, you’re so talented and TJ hasn’t stopped talking about how amazing the pictures came out for when you shot emo nite that time.” Y/n smiles at her friend, she was right, Y/n had nothing to be nervous about for this tour, she thinks the reason she’s most nervous is being with Scott in such a small space for so long, it was going to be torture.  

“So, I will pick you up tonight at 5, our flight is at 7:30.” Y/n has her phone proped up on her desk while she works on her computer. She looks at her phone and smiles at Scott through the screen. “Okay that sounds good, I’m just finishing up my last project and sending it off then I’m all yours for the whole tour.” She tells him catching him smirking “I like the sound of that.” He teases making her blush. They had already done their show in Anaheim and they’re next show was in Sydney Australia, Y/n was so excited, they were going a few days early so they could explore and enjoy themselves before the show. “Of course you do.” She says teasing back. “Who are you sitting with on the plane?” She asks looking away from the phone and back at her computer trying to not get too distracted by Scott’s handsome face filling her phone screen. Scott and his management had taken care of all her fights and stuff, so she had no clue what the seats were like or anything. She knew of course that they were taking a tour bus for most of the tour but that’s really it which she didn’t really mind too much. Scott almost doesn’t hear her questions because he’s too busy watcher her, the way she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth and chews it while she works, or the way her eyebrows wrinkle together. He clears his throat trying to pull himself out of his thoughts when he hears her asking him a question. “Um... We’re all in first class, Bruce is sitting with Chris and Patrick and you’re sitting with me.” Scott says which makes her smirk and glance over at him on the phone. “I should’ve known, you love to hog all of my attention.” She says making him chuckle. “I could say the same about you.” He teases making her roll her eyes. “As If.” Before Scott could say anything else Bruce was walking into Y/n’s office making her almost jump out of her skin and scream. Scott’s eyes went wide. “Y/n? Are you okay?” He asks worried. Y/n glares at Bruce before sitting back in her chair. “Yeah sorry, Bruce just came into my apartment and scared the shit out of me.” This makes Scott laugh and shake his head. “Okay well I’ll see you later.” He says before hanging up.  

“Fuck Bruce.” She says putting her hand to her chest. “You scared the shit out of me, I’m pretty sure I’m having a heart attack.” She says making Bruce laugh. “Sooooo dramatic.” he tells her, as he sits on the couch. Y/n finally sends out the final product of the project she was finishing and turns off her computer. “What's up?” Y/n asks Bruce who hasn’t said much since he sat down. “I think me and Carly are gonna break up.” He almost whispers making Y/n’s heart break, she knew that Bruce has been struggling with a lot of person mental health issues and sometimes is put a damper on their relationship, but they were so good together. She frowns at her friend before sitting on the couch next to him, “Bruce I’m so sorry.” Y/n tells him hugging him tight. Bruce hugs her and sighs. “We’re gonna take this tour as time apart and see how we feel when I come back.” Y/n nods she doesn’t say anything else about it, she can tell he doesn’t really want to talk about it, more of a distraction from the situation. “How about we go get an early dinner before Scott comes and picks us up for the airport. Bruce smiles and nods.  

Bruce and Y/n go to a restaurant that’s walking distance from their apartment, they have a great dinner and talk about tour and how excited they both are, Y/n doesn’t bring up her and Scott though, she doesn’t want to talk about her feelings while her best friend is about to go through a break up. Bruce tells her all about their first tour and how much fun that one was, this time was way bigger and they were taking a bus so it was more official, never mind the fact that they were going to fucking Australia.  

Bruce and Y/n walk back to their apartment building and Scott had already texted them letting them know he would be there soon to pick them up, they separate at the elevator and go to their own apartments to get their bags and settle everything before they leave. It's about 5 minutes later when she hears a knock on her door. “Come in!” She yells assuming it’s Scott or Bruce. She’s in her bedroom putting her last-minute things into her bags and putting her carry on together with, a change of clothes, headphones, charger, laptop, camera, batteries, batterie charger and some snacks. “Hey sweetie.” Scott says as he walks into her bedroom. Y/n turns and smiles wide at him, “Hey Tushie.” She says wrapping her arms around his torso hugging him. Scott rolls his eyes at the nickname but secretly he thinks it’s the cutest thing in the whole world and loves when she calls him it. Scott holds her close and kisses the top of her head. “Are you ready to go?” He asks when they both reluctantly pull away. Y/n nods and zips her backpack closed before singing her arms through the straps and putting it on her back. She grabs her huge suitcase and rolls it out into the living room after making sure everything in her bedroom was unplugged and nothing was turned on. Scott chuckles when he sees her come out of the room with her suitcase, this thing was huge. Y/n was short and all, but this thing was almost past her hips it was so big.  

Scott helped her bring her things to his car and she climbed into the passenger seat while he went to Bruce’s apartment to help him with his stuff. Y/n was on her phone scrolling through social media and answering a couple emails when Bruce and Scott finally got back to the car. While they drove to the airport Bruce talked about everything going on with him and Carly with Scott and Y/n, the whole situation broke her heart, knowing how much to two actually loved each other and the hard time Bruce was having mentally; However its true what they say, you can’t love someone if you can’t love yourself, and Bruce has a lot going on in that pretty head of his. While Scott talked to Bruce and tried to give him the best advice he could his hand was planted on Y/n’s knee, this wasn’t something knew but what was new was him moving his hand to her thigh and rubbing his thumb back and forth slowly, she wasn’t complaining at all, it was just new.  

Y/n was sitting comfortably in her seat with her backpack under her seat, Scott was putting his stuff in the overhead bin, Y/n was happy to see that Bruce, Chris and Pat were sitting in the seats across the aisle from her and Scott and Bruce was in the aisle seat next to her. Y/n was not prepared for the 18-hour flight, she had never really been out of the country before, so she’d never been on a plane for this long. It was currently almost 8pm on Tuesday and they were landing on Wednesday at 2pm La time which made it actually Thursday at 9pm. Trying to figure all that out made her head spin.  

They had been flying for about 3 hours now and Y/n was cuddled into her seat a blanket over her and she was watching a movie with Scott on his screen, she couldn’t believe the amazing seats that they had gotten them all for the flight, they literally laid down completely. Y/n sat up in her seat a little looking peaking at Scott watching him while he watched the movie, she would never get over how incredibly beautiful he was. Scott smirked and looked at her from the corner of his eye. “Can you stop staring at me?” He whispers chuckling a little. Y/n blushes and pulls her blanket over her head. “What if I don’t wanna.” She whispers still hiding under the blanket, Scott chuckles and pulls the blanket down, “At least try to make it less obvious.” He tells her making her blush even more. Y/n covered herself with her blanket up to her eyes peaking at him again making him shake his head, he placed his hand on her thigh and kept his eyes on the screen in front of him but he couldn’t pay attention, he could feel her eyes on him.  

Y/n was fast asleep with in 10 minutes and she slept all the way until hour 8, Scott looked over at her every once and a while smiling to himself, she looked so beautiful even with her mouth slightly parted with soft snores slipping past her lips. Bruce looked over at his friends seeing Y/n passed out but when he looked at Scott, he couldn’t help but smile, he was watching y/n sleep with the most love in his eyes.  

It was finally hour 17 and Y/n was starting to get super stiff. Everyone was wide awake at this point, Y/n puts her laptop by her feet and leans over to Scott. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom, I’m gonna explode if I don’t stretch my legs.” She whispers to him; Scott nods and squeezes her thigh before moving his hand off of it. Once she walked away and was out of view Bruce jumped into her seat and leaned over to Scott. “So when are you going to tell her?” He asks not even trying to be subtle at all. Scott’s eyes widen when he looks at his friend totally caught off guard. “Um.... What are you talking about dude?” He says scratching the back of his neck. “Listen,” Bruce looks around making sure she’s not coming back “She likes you, and you like her. I don’t see the issue.” Bruce tells him making Scott sigh. “I can’t ruin this friendship Bruce; she means too much to me.” Scott confesses making Bruce sigh. “Just trust me.” He pats Scott’s shoulder before going back to his own seat. Y/n came back a few minutes later sitting back down in her seat and putting her lap top back on her lap. She was working on editing some of her own pictures that she had done a long time ago but never has time to work on.  

It was weird, the rest of the flight Scott barely talked to her and his hands stayed to himself. They finally had landed, and they were waiting by baggage claim for all their bags. Y/n already had her camera out and she was taking some pictures of the boys while they were waiting. She grabbed her back off the belt and stood next to Bruce since Scott hadn’t said a word to her since she went to the bathroom earlier. Y/n was even quiet the whole way to the hotel and was a little grateful to find out that she was sharing a room with Bruce and not Scott. Y/n sat on her bed in the room and put her face in her hands sighing, she didn’t understand why Scott was ignoring her, she couldn’t think of a single thing she could’ve done. Bruce walked out from the bathroom and frowned putting his hand on her shoulder. “Y/n/n? What’s wrong.” when she looks at him, she has tears in her eyes. “Scott is ignoring me.” She says her voice cracking. Bruce looks at her confused. “What? Since when?” he asks sitting next to her on the bed. She bites her lip trying to rub the tears from her eyes. “Since I went to the bathroom on the plane. I didn’t do anything, when I left my seat, we were great, and I came back, and he hasn’t talked to me since.” Bruce stands up and shakes his head. “That’s not right Y/n.” He says getting upset. Y/n shakes her head and grabs his hand seeing him inch toward the door. “Please don’t say anything, I just wanna shower and go to bed again. Bruce nods his head and sits on his bed. “okay fine.”  

The next to Y/n was so excited to explore Sydney and take pictures but she couldn’t help but feel a little sad still not hearing from Scott. She got dressed into a pair of acid washed skinny jeans, a blush flowy crop top and a pair of white sneakers. She did her hair and makeup before sitting on her bed and putting all of her stuff for the day together, she put her extra fully charged batteries, her camera and an extra memory card just in case. Bruce came back into their room and hands her a coffee. “Good morning” he says making her smiles. “Ugh you’re a life saver, thank you.” She says happily taking it and sippy the hot liquid. “Are you ready to head out? I think everyone's gonna meet in the lobby.”  She nods and stands slinging her white backpack over her shoulders. Everyone is standing in the lobby waiting for the two of them. The plan was to go and get breakfast before they start exploring the area, Scott and Chris had been there before, so they were the tour guides for the day. “Good morning.” Y/n coos smiling at everyone she nudges Scott with her elbow and smiles at him. “Morning Tush.” She says softly so only he would hear. “Hey.” he says before putting his arm around her shoulder and kissing her head. Y/n smiles loving the sudden contact with him.  

Breakfast went amazing, Scott sat next to her and his hand planted on her thigh rubbing small circles as they joked with their friends and she took some pictures, oh and the food was pretty good as well. They walked around the city for hours, taking pictures sightseeing and then were now about to do a ferry ride. Scott took her hand helping her climb onto the boat safely and she smiled thanking him before she made her way to the front sitting on the couches that they had set up. Bruce came and sat next to her looking out at the water. “God this place is so beautiful.” he said happily making her smile, it was good to see him happy right now. Instead of sitting on the other side of her Scott was talking to Chris and Patrick leaning against the railing, Y/n took out her camera again snapping some pictures of the boys and then the scenery around them. “Do we have to go home?” She asks turning toward Bruce frowning. Bruce chuckles and shakes his head. “Unfortunately, we will have to eventually.” He says making her sigh. It was so beautiful here; she had fallen in love with the country already and they had only been there for such a short amount of time. Y/n was standing at the railing walking the city go by, they were already heading back to the dock and it was dark out already. Scott came over and smiled at her, “Hey sweetie.” He says making her turn toward him and smile. “Hi Tushie. Are you having fun?” She asks leaning her back against the railing. Scott tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and nods. “Are you?” He asks standing close to her his hand cupping her cheek. Y/n bites her lip looking up into his eyes, her stomach was doing flips when she realizes how close the two are, one wrong move and their lips would be attached. “Yeah.” Was all she could choke out in a small whisper making Scott smirk. They stay like that for what feels like forever, staring into each other eyes their noses almost touching. “Fuck it.” Scott mutters before he’s crashing his lips against hers. Y/n’s eyes widened before they fluttered shut and she wrapped her arms around his neck loving the way it felt when their lips moved together, Scott wrapping his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him. The pair only pulled apart when they felt the ferry slow and start coming to a stop at the dock, y/n didn’t want to open her eyes because she was so afraid that if she did it would all be a dream, she bit her lip and slowly let her eyes flutter open to look up into Scott’s blue eyes. Scott smiled at her and ran his fingers through her hair and pecked her lips one more time before moving away from her to grab their stuff and leave the ferry. Her skin ached to have him touch it again but she couldn’t dwell on it too long because everyone was starting to climb off the boat and onto the dock, she grabbed her things before catching up with her group. She happily took Bruce’s hand as he helped her jump off the boat and onto the dock, she thanked him and he just smirked and winked at her. She was so consumed with what happened with Scott she hadn’t even thought about the fact that everyone probably witnessed their steamy make out session.  

They walked back to the hotel and Chris and Pat decided they wanted to go out and get some drinks and dinner, Bruce agreed to go with them, Y/n on the other had was exhausted and wanted to order take out and lay in her bed watching netflix. Scott looked at Y/n when she said she wasn’t gonna go cause she was too tired, he chewed the inside of his cheek trying to decide what he wanted to do. He obviously wanted to spend time with her, but he also had some serious fomo whenever the guys went out without him. Y/n looks at Scott and can see the inner struggle he’s having; she smiles at him and looks back at her phone scrolling through google trying to find what places were close by that she could order food from. “I’m gonna stay back, I’m pretty tired too.” Scott finally says making her look up at him surprised, she bites her lip trying to hide the smile on her lips. Bruce hugs Y/n and tells her he’ll see her later and not to wait up for him, she nods and smiles before following Scott into their hotel. While they wait for the elevator, she looks up at Scott who’s staring at the closed doors, “You’re starring again.” He teases making her blush and look down at her feet smiling. “Sorry.” She mumbles making him smirk. “Why didn’t you wanna go?” She asks as they walk into the elevator and Scott presses the button for their floor, he shrugs and leans against the wall looking at her. “I’m tired.” he says simple and she nods fiddling with the hem of her shirt. “So, what are we gonna order?” He asks making her look at him again and smile. “You’ve been here before you tell me.” Scott smirks. “Deal go change into something more comfortable. I’ll order us food and you meet me in my room once you’re ready.” Y/n smiled wide and nodded before they went their separate ways.  

Y/n put all of her stuff into her room, she changed into her ‘Don’t be sad’ cropped hoodie and a pair of black high wasted leggings and a pair of slides  before she left her room making sure she had her key for later. Scott sat on his bed after changing into a pair of gym shorts not bothering to put on a shirt, Y/n had seen him without a shirt plenty of times, he ordered from his favorite take out place near the hotel and loaded up Netflix on his laptop setting it on his bed. It was almost 10 minutes later when Y/n was knocking on his hotel room door, he opened the door and stood to the side so she could come in. “Nice hoodie.” He teased causing her to giggle. “Thanks, some guy I know gave it to me.” She teases back before sitting on his bed, she was kinda glad Scott had his own room cause she would hate for one of the guys to walk in on them even if nothing was happening. “Sounds like a loser.” Scott says smirking at her leaning against the wall in front of her.” She frowns and shakes her head. “Actually, he’s kinda the greatest guy I know, besides Bruce.” She winks at him. Scott bites his lip and shakes his head. “You must think pretty highly of this guy.” Scott says making her look down at her lap “you have no idea.” She mumbles under her breath hoping he doesn’t hear but he does. “So where did you order from?” She asks changing the subject quickly, Scott sits on the bed next to her and lays back looking at the ceiling. “It’s called ‘’made in Italy’ one of the best Italian restaurants I’ve been to here. They have amazing pizza.” He tells her but she barely hears what he says. She’s too busy admiring him, his body, his facial features, how beautiful he looks so effortlessly and the way his shorts sit loosely and low on his hips. “Does that sound good?” He asks pulling her out of her dirty thoughts and making her look back at his face. She clears her throat and nods. “Yeah sounds amazing I can’t wait.” Scott smirks and rolls onto his side and starts scrolling through his Netflix account. “So what do you wanna watch?”  

It was about 30 minutes later and maybe 15 minutes into the movie when they heard a know on the hotel room door. It took them so long to decide to watch The Wolf of Wall Street which Scott argued that she had seen far too many times and didn’t need to watch it again, but when she gave him those puppy dog eyes and stuck her bottom lip out into a pout he quickly folded. Scott pauses the movie after y/n pulls herself off of his chest so he can get off of the bed. He opens to door and tips the delivery man before closing the door again. He places the box of pizza on the bed and y/n sits up happily as the smell of the food wafts through her nose. “Smells amazing.” She almost moans making Scott chuckle trying to ignore the twitching in his shorts caused by the moan that slipped out of her lips. Scott wasn’t wrong, this one of the best pizzas she’s ever had in her life, they both ate in silence watching the movie while they finished the whole pizza. Once Y/n’s stomach was nice and full she was laying back down on his bed slipping under the blankets leaning her head against Scott’s shoulder while he finished his food. They were both pretty quiet while watching the movie except Y/n quoting her favorite parts in the movie under her breath. Scott shifted under her making her sit up so he could get comfortable, he wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her close to him making her smile, the two of them had been cuddling since she laid on the bed but they hadn’t talked about what happened earlier in the ferry and it was all the two of them could think about even though they didn’t know it. Suddenly she was sitting up and pausing the movie turning her body toward Scott who was looking at her very confused.  

“What’s wrong?” He asks running his fingers through his messy hair. Y/n bites her lip and looks down at her fingers picking at her nails. “Are we gonna talk about what happened earlier?” She finally gains the courage to ask, Scott sits up a little surprised by her question but he shouldn’t be. He blows out a breath through his nose before rubbing the back of his neck. “We can if you want to.” He says to which she nods “I can’t stop thinking about it. You can’t just do that and then not expect me to wanna talk about it.” She tells him and he nods “I know… I just don’t know what to say.” “Well where does that leave us?” Y/n asks afraid for the answer. Scott’s standing now pacing the small space. “I don’t know Y/n. I didn’t really think that far.” She sighs and stands up from his bed. “Maybe I should leave you to think about that then, because I know what I want from this but I don’t think you do and I want you to figure that out before anything else happens here.” She crosses her arms over her chest, she wasn’t mad at Scott, she had no right to be but she was a little frustrated. You shouldn’t kiss someone if you don’t want to deal with the consequences. Scott frowns and looks at her “If that’s what you want to do I can’t keep you here. But do I want you to leave right now? Absolutely fucking not. I want you to stay here with me, cuddle and finish watching our movie.” He tells her but talks again before she can say anything “but you’re right, I shouldn’t lead you on if I’m not 100% sure what I want to happen.” He kisses her forehead then tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and pecks her lips before she sighs and leaves his room heading back to hers. Once she’s back in her room she lays down grateful Bruce isn’t back yet, she buries her self under the covers and tries her best to fight back tears. She doesn’t understand how he doesn’t feel what she feels between them, and see what Bruce sees when she looks at Scott. She cries herself to sleep that night praying one day she would get what she truly wants from her relationship with Scott.  

Today was the day of their first show and to say Y/n was nervous was an understatement, she also hadn’t heard from Scott since that night, she couldn’t help but think that she pushed too hard and made him mad at her. Bruce said that when he went to lunch with Chris and Pat that Scott didn’t come, he also didn’t answer anyone's texts yesterday. Y/n had texted Scott a couple of times but didn’t want to push too hard and push him further away from her. However, it was show night, her and Bruce decided to go to dinner just the two of them before they had to get ready for the show. Y/n sat picking at her food almost forcing herself to eat, Bruce sighed and put his hand on her forearm. “It’s gonna be okay, everything will work out I promise. Scott loves you too much to lose your friendship no matter what he decides that he wants to do.” Y/n nods and smiles softly at him “Thanks Brucey.” The rest of dinner they avoid the topic for her and Scott’s relationship, instead that talk about how excited and nervous they are about the show. Y/n can’t wait to be on stage with her friends and taking pictures of them doing what they love.  

It was finally time for them to start getting ready before they had to leave for sound check, obviously she didn’t have to be there, but she wanted to get some pictures during sound check. Scott had made baseball jerseys for everyone that was in the band and on the crew that had ‘What’s going on’ on the front and a nickname for them on the back. Scott’s was ‘LilSadBoy’ and Y/n’s was ‘PicturePerfect’ which Y/n thought was a little narcissistic, but Scott reassured her that it was absolutely perfect. Scott had told them that they could wear them whenever but he was going to wear his first show so she decided to wear hers as well, she tied it in a not in the front turning it into a crop, she also wore a pair of short jean shorts and a pair of vans. Normally she would dress up a little more for a show but since she was going to be running around back and forth onstage, she wanted to be more comfortable. She did a very simple make up for the same reason, also not a single person was going to be paying attention to her, she slicked her hair into a high tight ponytail to keep it out of her face and now you could read the back of her jersey. When she came out of the bathroom Bruce looked at her and smiled wide. “You look great Y/n/n.” She smiles at him and blushes, “Thanks Brucey. Are you getting nervous?” She asks as she gathers up her equipment putting it all into her backpack double checking to make sure she has everything that she needs and that all of her batteries were charged, and she had extra memory cards. Bruce shakes his head grabbing all of his things as well. “I was the first tour but not this one, well maybe a little cause I’m performing more of my own stuff this time.” he packed away his guitar into its case and any other things he needs. Just as they were finishing getting their stuff together Bruce’s phone started ringing and he picked it up quickly “What’s up?” He asks slipping on his vans. “Yeah we’re about to leave the room now, we just finished getting everything together.” He pauses for a second. “Yeah we’ll meet you in your room.” and he hangs up his phone putting it into his front pocket. “Scott wants us to meet in his room before we get the car to the venue.” Y/n nods a little nervous and throws her backpack over her shoulder and smiles at him before slipping her phone into her back pocket.  

They finally made it to Scott’s room a few minutes later, he opened the door smiling widely, and pulling Bruce into a hug. “You ready man?” He asks stepping out of the way so they can come inside. “So ready, How about you?” Bruce asks sitting on the bed pulling his phone out of his pocket. “I’m so excited. I can’t wait to kick off this tour.” Scott beams, this is one reason she started developing feelings for Scott, his passion for his music and how his face lights up when he talks about it or shows someone a new song. Scott pulls Y/n into a hug and kisses the top of her head. “Nice shirt.” He mumbles into her ear smirking as he releases her from his grip. “You too.” She winks before sitting next to Bruce. “You ready to kill it with the pics tonight?” He asks her while he finishes packing all of his stuff. She giggles and looks down at her lap trying to hide her blushing cheeks. “A little nervous.” She admits before looking between him and Bruce who both shake their heads. “Bud, you know you’ve got this in the bag, WE know you’ve got this in the bag, so you have no reason to be nervous.” Bruce tells her patting her thigh making her smile at him and nudge her with her shoulder. “Thanks, Brucey.” Once Scott has all of his stuff together and looks at the two who are chatting. “You guys ready?” Y/n stands and smiles wide. “Let’s do this.”  

Sound check went amazing as expected and she got some great pictures of the guys. They were all sitting in the greenroom of the venue and Y/n was getting all of her stuff together to make sure she was fully prepared. “Alright, as tradition everyone has to take a shot, except Bruce of course.” Scott says as he passes shots around to everyone including crew which included Y/n. She sighed and took the shot from him before tossing the burning liquid down her throat sending shivers down her spine. “Fuck.” She groaned under her breath. Scott and the rest of the boys took theirs like total champs of course, while everyone was messing around and getting hyped for the show Y/n was taking all the pictures she could and they were turning out amazing she was already so happy with them and the show hadn’t even started yet. Scott had done a meet and greet before the show and it warmed her heart watching how happy Scott and Bruce got when they met everyone, and how many people supported them and loved them so much. She was also taking pictures for the meet and greets as well which was a lot of pressure for her since she would have to go through every picture and edit them and then send them to the fans through Scott’s tour email which he had given her access to. Y/n was sitting in the middle of the couch leaning against Bruce while she showed him some of the meet and greet pictures giggling at some of the silly ones and showing him some of her favorites, she was very excited for the fans to see them. Scott sits next to her and puts his arm over the back of the couch leaning over to see her camera. She looked at him and smiled nervously before leaning over so he could see as well, Scott smiled wide looking at the pictures. He took out his phone and told her to scroll through them so he could take a video which she nodded in response to, she scrolled through the pictures while her recorded them a wide smile on his face which she mimicked. “Guys! I can’t wait for you to get these meet and greet pictures!” He slowly pans from the camera to her before he continued. “Everyone thank my lovely girl Y/n for absolutely killing every picture she has taken for the tour so far and will continue to kill throughout I’m sure.” Y/n barely heard the rest of his sentence, her brain was too caught up on him calling her his girl, Scott didn’t mean for it to come out but once it did there was no taking it back, if he redid the video it would probably break her fucking heart and he couldn’t break her heart more then he already has these last few days. He tags her in the video before he posts it on his IG story and snapchat. Bruce could see in her face the effect that his words had on her and his heart ached for her, he knew that Scott didn’t mean for it to happen but there was no going back now, he just hoped Scott would come to his senses before it was too late.  

The show was going better than anyone could’ve expected, not a single thing has gone wrong and the pictures she was taking were out of this world, she was even surprised by herself, Bruce opened the show and his set was beyond words, she was so proud of her Brucey boy. The crowd was also so incredible which she never doubted, her friends had the best fanbase which had become her fanbase as well which made her so happy. Scott was pretty much finished with his set he just had one song left which was one of her favorites, ‘Words’. What she wasn’t expecting was for Scott to stop everyone from starting to song, he takes his mic from the stand and paces the stage while he talks to the crowd, “How’s everyone doing tonight?” He asks and the crowd is already screaming making him chuckle and smile wide. “Good! I hope you guys have enjoyed the show! We have one more song left, which is one of my personal favorites, ‘Words’. The crowd screams and he smirks again, “Oh so you’ve heard of it?” He teases. Y/n is standing in the back on the stage on the drum platform standing next to Patrick while taking pictures of Scott talking to the crowd. “Well this song is very special to me because I wrote it about a certain someone...” He pauses and looks around the stage before his eyes lock with hers and he smiles before looking back at the crowd. “I’ve had some strong feelings for this person for a really long time and I’m tired of pushing these feelings away and letting my doubts get the best of me.” Y/n’s heart was pounding so hard she thought she was going to pass out, Patrick was smirking at her and nudged her making her let out a breathy chuckle. “So, with that being said, Y/n will you come join me over her sweetie.” He says turning back to her and holding his hand out to her. Once she makes her way to him, he grabs her hand and raises it over their heads. “You all know Y/n right?” He says making the crowd scream again and making her blush. “Well the song is about her, me wanting to be with her and having these feelings for her and not knowing how to ask her out.” Y/n knew none of this, she remembers when he first showed her the song it brought tears to her eyes, it was so pure and it also made her sad thinking that he thought these things about someone else while she was so in love with him.  

Scott turns around and nods to the guys before kissing her forehead as they start the music, Scott sings the whole song with his eyes on her, Scott makes her lower the camera when she tries to take picture. Y/n bites her lip feeling so exposed and self-conscious but all of this fades away as she listens to the lyrics for the first time knowing they’re about her.  

‘Blank when I look at you Can't think when I'm talking to someone so beautiful Yeah, suddenly something about me has changed And now I can't even remember my name Fine dining and breathing is all that I know so Uh, uhm, I mean- did you maybe want to get dinner? Breakfast? We could go’

He sings right to her his hand cupping her cheek throughout the whole verse and as he comes to the chorus he breaks away from her almost forgetting his putting on a show, the crowd is singing along with him as he jumps around on stage and she finally brings the camera up taking pictures again which makes him shake his head at her. Scott comes back to her and grabs her hand putting her arm around his neck getting as close to her as he can with the mic still against his lips as he sings into it.  

‘My mind goes... (I think I should be yours, I think you could be mine) When I talk, when I talk, when I talk My mind goes...’

Scott finally drops the mic lower as he finishes the song and she has tears filling her eyes as she looks into his so full of love. Every doubt she ever had about his feelings for her are gone and all she feels is his love washing over her. He brings the mic back up to his lips smirking at her. “Y/n will you be mine?” Scott asks making her blush and a nervous giggle leaves her lips, she smiles wide and nods before realizing the crowd probably couldn’t see her. “Yes.” She says into the mic her voice sounding so small as it fills the giant venue. Scott drops the mic on the stage before wrapping his arms around her waist picking her up and spinning her around, the crowd is screaming and cheering and so are all of their friends on stage and backstage. Scott finally puts her back on her feet and grabs her face attaching their lips, something she has been dying to feel again since they got off the ferry just a few nights ago. Once Scott pulls away, he grabs the mic again and smiles wide at the crowd, Y/n gets behind him again so she can take more pictures before he wraps up the show. “Sydney!! You were amazing!  Thank you so much for helping me kick off our ‘What’s Going On’ Tour! We love you so much!! Good Night everyone!” Scott is yelling into the mic, he feels like he's on cloud nine and he never wants to come down, he finally has his girl.  

[redhoodieone]

I’ve Got You

A/N: This is a special one shot to a good friend on here @thatartkid101! I hope you love this, and I hope everything works out. You’re beautiful, strong, and don’t let anyone put you down! You’re amazing! 

Warnings: Language 

Words were never important to me before. I’ve never really given them much thought, but I suppose it’s because we speak every day in our lives. Whether we speak loudly, softly, to ourselves, or just reading and thinking. Words are often used a lot, which could make the words lose or overuse their meanings.

Such as “I love you” or “I’m sorry.”

I can’t even remember the last time I meant any of those words. It almost becomes a common habit; just saying it because you know it’s right, not because you actually mean it.

Which could explain why people around me always double check with what I say.

I guess I’ve never sound so confident and sure when I speak.

Bruce had invited me along with him, the Batboys, and Alfred out to dinner at one of his restaurants in Gotham. I, of course, accepted even though I always feel weird and uncomfortable going out with them since they’re practically handsome and popular celebrities, while I’m just an average girl.

I met the Batfamily one horrifying night about two years ago. I was nineteen years old and going through an awful time with my high school boyfriend, Rob. I was with Rob throughout high school, and after we graduated, we kept dating while I was attending G.C.U as he worked with his father and uncles at his father’s auto garage.

Our relationship had been good up until a point where Rob wanted me to quit school and become a “stay-at-home-wife-and-mother”. I sometimes wondered if Rob was jealous of the fact that I had a separate life during the daytime, while the two of us only have the evenings and nights. I even came out of my shell (I’ve been told I’ve been a hermit crab for most of my life), and even made new friends; particularly Tim Drake.

We had some of the same classes, except for math and science classes because Tim’s practically a genius. So, the only classes we shared were English, history, and even computer classes. In a way, Tim became my friend after tutoring me for tests while I became a friendly face when he needed someone to joke and talk to during study hours.

Our friendship blossomed within the seven months we met. I even met his father, Bruce Wayne, his trustworthy, sassy butler Alfred Pennyworth, and his brothers Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, and Damian Wayne. While all of them welcomed me into their home and accepted me as a friend of Tim’s, I realized I was suddenly struck by lightning to one of his brothers.

Jason Todd.

Jason fucking Todd.

I didn’t know what initially drew me to him; like a moth to a flame. Jason is obviously handsome, but what most people didn’t know was just how sensitive, insecure, funny, and caring he truly is. Jason has made it perfectly clear on more than one occasion that he loves his family no matter what (even if they piss him off…and I’ve seen that firsthand), he takes crimefighting more seriously now, and he’s matured a lot since fixing his relationship with Bruce.

It’s like Jason had changed for the better, even if I didn’t know him back then.

But of course, Dick insists Jason is still the same in some ways.

Like how Jason is still a tall, muscular teddy bear at heart (his hugs prove it, since I’ve been lucky enough to receive fifteen within three months), how he laughs and snorts when something is very funny, and especially when he flirts with women he adores.

Ah…the flirting.

I knew I had a boyfriend. I was faithful, and I’ve never done anything wrong to give anyone a reason to not trust me.

But Jason flirting with me on a few occasions just showed how much I was attracted to him. The warm, teddy bear hugs, the innocent cuddling on the couch during movie nights, and how he would look deep into my eyes whenever we had serious or light conversations deep into the early mornings.

And the one night we could have kissed.

Jason had offered and drove me back to my apartment late one night. I had a test the next morning, and I was too tired to drive home since Tim had tutored me for our final exam in English. Jason had been a gentleman and walked me to my door, too. The second I unlocked the front door; I turned to face him and thank him for the drive home.

And then our faces inched closer and closer until I could feel his hot breath above me. Jason had smelled like Old Spice deodorant, and a cologne I couldn’t identify. His breath smelled like the whiskey shot he downed with Tim and I when we finished studying. His ocean blue eyes were hypnotizing, and were so full of lust, warmth, and care.

I found myself leaning in more. Our lips were very close, and my heart was pounding in my chest, as if I could die from a heart attack right then and there. My hands had a mind of their own, and I soon found myself gripping his brown leather jacket and pulled him towards me; until I woke up from the lust and magnetic force shield, I was currently trapped in.

The moment I pulled away and let him go, Jason appeared hurt and confused. But he knew why it couldn’t have happened, even if we both wanted it.

Because I tried hard to stay faithful, even if my heart and body were telling me otherwise.

And of course, I had stayed faithful.

Rob didn’t.

Catching Rob in bed with a female receptionist at his dad’s garage was beyond hatred and betrayal. It was evil; pure, ugly, and sickening evil.

I clearly told Rob we were done; broken up and just finished forever. I tried very hard to stay strong, and I left his apartment with hope that I could just leave and cry privately. But that’s too easy, isn’t it?

Rob eventually caught up with me when I managed to walk a good mile away. He was yelling at me and shoving me against the wall and accused me of cheating on him first: with Tim Drake. I tried to explain to him we were just good friends, and that I didn’t cheat on him. I wanted to tell him I wanted to, but it didn’t seem like a good idea. But Rob’s anger was far from over, and he was now shouting in my face and threatened to ruin me for any new guys that would come around me.

Rob’s threat didn’t fall on deaf ears.

Red Hood landed down beside us. Twirling his gun around his fingers, he approached us and looked more intimidating than anything I’ve ever seen before.

“Wow…you’re a real douchebag,” Red Hood said, his voice is full of rage and violence. After the gun stops spinning in his fingers, he holds it up to Rob’s head. “And here I thought I was…but hey, I guess maybe I’ve grown up and learned yelling and threatening pretty ladies is just a fucking asshole thing to do.”

Rob twisted his face around to face Red Hood. He’s clearly pissed off at Red Hood for interrupting our fight.

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself, okay Dildo Head?! This bitch is my problem, and I’m not leaving until I teach her some manners!” Rob snaps harshly.

“It’s one thing to call my helmet a “dildo head”, but when you disrespect women…now that’s crossing the fucking line, you dipshit!”

Red Hood beat the shit out of Rob, but that didn’t mean Rob went down easily without a fight. While Red Hood had the strength, stamina, and moves, Rob did manage to knock Red Hood’s helmet off.

And it happened to be the one-time Red Hood forgot to wear his domino mask.

Jason Todd.

Rob was thankfully knocked out and didn’t see Jason’s face, but I did. After Jason got up and fixed himself up, he knew his secret was out.

And then I eventually learned all their secret identities. I even became a part of their social and private lifestyles…including sometimes Batfamily meetings and helping with cases or whatever they needed.

But after all of that, I’m in a better place to where I don’t mind getting back into the “dating game”, but the fear of being rejected and cheated on still plagues me from time to time. It also didn’t help that the media and paparazzi insisted I was dating Tim and Jason on different occasions. The rumors were worse. I was considered a “family whore” and that I was trying to sleep with Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Tim.

Luckily not Damian or Alfred. But Alfred’s too precious for me, anyways.

Bruce, Dick, and Tim never paid much attention to the rumors or paparazzi. While they understood how I felt, they dismissed and corrected the rumors as much as they could. But Jason appeared not to care about the rumors, either. In fact, he loved putting on a show as much as he could.

Jason would hold my hand from leaving the limo and entering the building. He then would hold my waist and walk me back to the limo and made sure to wink and wave at the cameras. Jason had even taken it too far once when he kissed me.

A quick peck on the lips. But it’s still a kiss!  

We never spoke about it or brought it up again. I wonder if Jason even remembers the kiss.

Once we arrive at Bruce’s restaurant, he leads us from the limo and into the restaurant. He smiles and is polite to everyone and expects us to do the same, in which we all do. Dick, Tim, Damian, and Alfred follow Bruce while Jason and I lag behind, because Jason wanted to hold my hand and bring me closer to his body so the cameras can get good shots of us. While I think we’re in the clear from paparazzi and reporters’ questions, one man decided to ask me a personal question.

“Y/N! Is it true you were in a gangbang after high school?!”

I immediately freeze up. It’s like the air was knocked out of me. Every muscle, breath, and cell inside me stopped working.

Jason had stopped alongside me as well. His hand remained on my lower back, while I moved to the man who asked me that question.

“What did you just say?” I repeat, not even aware I’m sounding like I’m losing my mind.

“You didn’t know? Your picture was leaked online. It’s everywhere, babe!” the man declares.

The man then gives me his cell phone. The second my eyes land on the picture, I tense up. There am I, passed out drunk from a party that Rob was throwing after high school. I’m passed out on a bed, wearing short shorts and a pink bikini top. Rob’s friends, Chris, Jake, and Vince are around me, clearly intoxicated like me. Touching me, kissing me, and passing me back and forth between them.

The picture was taken by Rob’s ex-girlfriend Lily, who clearly and obviously wanted Rob back. The picture nearly destroyed our relationship. My parents were even disappointed in me, and scolded me for being so reckless and drunk, but they eventually forgave me. I even told Rob I was drunk, and that his friends were the ones who were taking advantage of me when I was passed out.

Rob didn’t believe it at first, but then we never spoke of the picture again.

But now it looks like Rob wants to ruin any future relationships for me. This picture is the end of me.

The man takes back his cell phone and laughs at me. “At least you learned that pictures never die or disappear from the web, Y/N. Once you fuck up, you’ll be reminded that you fucked up for the rest of your life. Now, can I get a quote?” he asks seriously.

“Fuck you!” I snap.

“Nah, I’m not into gangbangs like you. Maybe you can ask Bruce Wayne and his sons to join you? My God, would you really do that? You must really be a slut!”

Jason steps in front of me and glares down at the shorter man. “Back. The. Fuck. Off.” Jason threatens angrily.

“Damn…you work fast, Y/N? So, what’s next: are you going to fuck the Luthor or Queen family next?!”

I rip my arm from Jason’s grasp, and I run away from the crowd and restaurant. I had to stop after a block to remove my heels, and then I was back to running away.

No matter how far I run. No matter how hard I try to hide my tears. I was broken.

I finally stop running once I realize I made it all the way to the pier. I remember the pier from when Dick showed me where he almost killed his parents’ killer. Walking slowly and barefoot, I make it to the rail where I take a seat and allow my legs to dangle above the water. My arms are holding the rails above me, and for just a second, I wish I could disappear.

If I fall into the dark water, I would be gone quickly, and no one would ever know.

It’ll be as if this pain never happened. It’ll be as if I never caused trouble.

“You’re not going to jump in.”

Jason?

I whip my head around and see Jason approaching me. His black tie is undone, and he removes his jacket. He sits beside me, and carefully places his jacket over my bare shoulders. Jason exhales, and allows his legs to dangle beside mine.

“Wouldn’t it just be easier if I did? I already ruined your family’s reputation. I even ruined my family’s as well,” I remark.

“Reputation? Doll, in case you haven’t noticed, reputations are meant to be ruined,” Jason says, as he chuckles lightly. He glances at me, but I still refuse to look him in the eyes. “Bruce and Alfred are already doing damage control to the media. Since your shitty ex-boyfriend leaked that picture, Timbo and Dick are making sure it’s taken down online and we’re going to sue his ass until he’s poor and dead.”

“What?” I barely whisper and turn to look at him.

“You’re a part of our family whether you like it or not, Y/N. We protect each other, and that means we’re going to protect you, too. And trust me, Bruce and Alfred are very good at clearing up the rumors and paparazzi bullshit. Alfred even said he’s going to talk to your parents, so you have absolutely nothing to worry about, sweetheart. And as for Tim and Dick, your picture will never surface online again.”

I lean my forehead on the rail. “What about Damian?” I ask quietly.

“He’s doing me a favor, but that’s not important right now! I want you to know I believe you, Y/N. You are not what Rob says you are. You’re not a whore. That picture was taken without your consent and those fuckers had no right to do those fucked up, disgusting acts to you while you were drunk. And as for your fucking ex-boyfriend, he’s fucking asshole who should have believed you and beat the shit out of those other fuckers,” Jason growls under his breath, and runs a hand through his dark hair. “If I knew you back then…and knew what happened…I would have killed all of them, sweetheart. I would have shoot off those fuckers’ balls, and then I would have jammed my gun down your boyfriend’s throat, and then up his ass until he pukes up bullets.”

I slowly turn to face Jason, and I soon realize he never took his eyes off me the entire time he’s been talking. “W-why are you saying all of this, Jay?” I whisper.

“Because you deserve to know the truth, and you deserve better. Fuck doll…you’re the strongest babe I know. Y/N, you literally don’t hesitate to speak your mind, you don’t take shit from any of us, and if I remember correctly…you once kicked my ass during that time Dick and I fought over a mission gone wrong. Remember? You took me down with just one punch and kick to the knee?”

“How can I forget? I felt bad right after, and we ended up eating a carton of chocolate ice cream while watching stupid movies on Netflix,” I say softly. “All night long.”

“The best night of my life,” Jason replies, and grins before he scoots over next to me. “This…what happened tonight isn’t going to destroy you, Y/N. Do you want to know what I see happening?”

I force myself to choke back on my tears. “What?” I barely ask.

“You’re going to hug me, and I’m going to tell you you’re stronger than this. You’re going to flip off the fucking paparazzi with me, and we’re going to show them we’re two badasses, who are not going to let the media tell us bullshit, when we know we’re better than all of them. And then, I’m going to take you out to dinner, and then I’m going to spend the entire night convincing you, that you are perfect and how much you mean to me,” Jason says seriously. “Because doll…I’ve got you.”

“Then what?” I ask, wiping a tear from my cheek with a small smile.

“Then I’m going to tell you I love you, and that I want you to give me a chance. I want one chance to show you how fucking crazy I am for you, and that I’m so in love with you that just being near you isn’t enough. I can’t be a friend anymore Y/N, especially when all I want is to kiss you, hold you, and protect you until the day I die. But most importantly, you’re going to tell me that you love me, and want to be with me as well. And after we kiss and seal our love, you’re going to tell me you’re so strong, that no matter what the media, public, and Rob says: you are going to overcome all of this, and you’re never, ever going to let anyone put you down, when you are clearly above and better than all of us.”

Before I can say anything, Jason leans in and kisses me. Our lips together send fireworks throughout my entire body, and I feel as if I’ve fallen into hot lava. I feel my body on fire, and Jason clearly does too, when he reaches to hold my face, as the other holds my waist tightly. As we explore each other’s mouths and bodies (over the clothes), we hear someone honking their vehicle. Jason and I pull away from each other, and then we see it’s the Batmobile.

Jason helps us to our feet, as we check out the Batmobile. The window rolls down and we see Nightwing in the driver’s seat, along with Red Robin beside him. Robin is in the back and shakes his head at us.

“Don’t you know how to answer your cell phone, Todd?” Robin scoffs.

“We were busy at the moment…” Jason says, and leads us to the Batmobile. “Did you do what I asked, Demon Spawn?”

“Affirmative,” Robin says.

“B wants us to drop Y/N back at the manor while we finish what we started,” Nightwing says, with a smile for me.

Jason motions Red Robin to climb into the backseat with Robin. Once the passenger side is clear, he climbs in and pulls me onto his lap as Nightwing revs up the Batmobile. We speed away from the pier, as Nightwing drives us back to the manor.

“Finish what?” I ask curiously.

“Just a…little mission…” Jason answers sheepishly.

“Don’t worry about a thing, Y/N,” Red Robin insists.

“Indeed, you will never go through this again,” Robin speaks up.

“B says not to kill him, so we have to be careful with what we do,” Nightwing clarifies, as I stare at the brothers in confusion.

“What are you guys going to do? Are you…going to kill Rob, and his friends?” I ask.

Nightwing grins at me, as Red Robin and Robin flash their innocent smiles. Jason bursts into a fit of laughter and kisses my cheek. With both strong arms wrapped around me, he leans his face towards mine.

“Oh, we’re not going to kill him or his friends, sweetheart. We’re just going to break their bones!”

[hokage-sama]

How would Itachi, Madara, Shisui react to the real world? Can you do a headcanon or scenario?

I hope this is kind of what you meant? These are more like Modern/AU headcanons. SFW.

Itachi

Itachi would love having a cell phone so he could message his s/o or family wherever he is. He’d pick up on the technology quite quick but he wouldn’t have an amazing smartphone, just a simple small flip phone that texts and calls. 

Would definitely text you in full sentences. No text speak!

Don’t bother showing Itachi how to use a computer, he won’t be interested.

Unless you tell him about online chess. Maybe that could convince him to use the PC.

I can imagine Itachi’s s/o setting him up a Facebook account but he would never bother logging into it himself. Definitely no other social media.

I think Itachi would be a really good driver, passing his test on his first go after only a few lessons. He picks up quickly on the way things work and he’d claim the only reason he has a car is to get you around safely. 

Itachi would become addicted to Netflix. He can’t stop binge watching TV shows and you’d often catch him watching romantic movies.

Theme parks wouldn’t really be Itachi’s thing, but he would definitely try the claw machines to try and win you a prize. He’d be really good at them too, his patience is key.

Taking Itachi clothes shopping would be an experience. Would not be a fan of trainers. And he wouldn’t understand why would anyone want to wear Hawaiian shirts? Why do they exist?

Madara

You’d have to spend the longest time trying to show Madara how to use a cell phone. Expect lots of butt dials from him as he forgets to lock his phone. Also open his camera roll and see loads of awkward selfies he doesn’t realise he’s taken.

Once he gets the hang of technology he’d move on to the laptop. The kind of guy that would have 20 tabs open on the internet browser.

Would probably get a weird power kick out of the Amazon Echo/Siri etc. Setting it to call him by name.

Would react well to “real world” jobs. Madara would probably pick a job in law. Suit and tie. He’s really good at planning ahead and he loves winning cases, regardless of whether his client is innocent or not. Would claim its the easiest job ever.

Madara would also drive a posh sports car, being able to afford it thanks to his great job.

Traffic? What’s that. Madara wouldn’t give a shit if cars were in the road he would expect them to stop for him, giving you mini-heart attacks as your eyes clenched shut afraid he’d be hit.

Would hate modern clothes. Opting to wear his ninja attire, causing people in public to stare or ask who he was cosplaying as. “Cosplay?”

Madara would be quite content staying in and watching TV. Horror movies or serial killer documentaries being his preferred choice. 

Would order take out a lot. Why cook when someone can make it for you.

Madara’s mind would be blown at the idea of online shopping. Buying weird gadgets and gizmo’s he’s never even heard of before but they have five star reviews on Amazon.

Shisui

Shisui would use his phone to take pictures of everything. Everything. He’d post them all over snapchat and Instagram. Then be the kind of guy that would also send you them via message just in case you missed them.

He’d definitely end up with more followers than you, multiple hashtags!

Would send you a lot of memes. “Hey Y/N, this is us ________”

Really into technology. He’d have a phone, laptop, tablet, smart watch. He’d be great at multi-tasking. Social media, netflix and texting all at once.

Would definitely be into porn. “It’s like Icha Icha.. but real?”

Shisui would be really into music. Rock music especially, he’d buy tickets for shows and demand you join him. 

Shisui would love learning to drive, getting excited over what sort of car and what colour he’d get before even passing. “Why do I have to take a test? Doesn’t one peddle mean go and one mean stop?”

Would buy the weirdest shit on ebay.

His wardrobe would be huge, opting for jeans, shirts and trainers in multiple colours and styles. One of his favourite aspects of the “real world”

Theme parks - Shisui would be a real thrill seeker. Going on the biggest rollercoasters multiple times. He’d also probably buy the photographs at the end if he thought you looked cute in them. 

[phancystuff]

Trying to Remember How it Feels (To Have a Heartbeat) 1/7

Pairing: Dan/ Phil (Phan) Summary: Dan moves into a new apartment in London and, though it’s a step up from his old apartment, his landlord gives him strange warnings while he’s touring the place-- something about the last renters leaving because of ghost sightings. But, Dan doesn’t believe in the supernatural. He quickly changes his tune when he meets Phil Lester, the ghost haunting his apartment. Well, if haunting means quickly becoming the best friend he’s ever had. (Title from Harry Styles’ song Two Ghosts) Notes: This is the first part of my Spooky Week Special! This fic is almost 100% already written and I plan on updating it every day until Halloween. Please note that, although this fic has the warning of major character death, it is not in any way graphic. Tags/ Warnings: ghost au, Halloween, major character death (obv. it’s a ghost au lol), depictions of panic attacks, angst, fluff, HAPPY ENDING, mentions of suicide (it happens in a movie they watch)

Read it on A03 Completed fic masterlist here

Dan woke up that morning in a mood, which is never a good thing when you’re supposed to do something particularly adult-y. Something like tour a new apartment because the one you’re currently living in is literally falling apart at the seams and your neighbors drill ridiculous DIY projects at all hours of the day. Dan’s YouTube channel had been doing pretty well lately, too, and he could finally afford a better apartment. He had made it hard on himself in the beginning by refusing to get a roommate, but he liked his space. It didn’t matter, anyway, it was finally time for him to move up in the world and trade his current hamster cage for a slightly bigger one. And yet, there Dan was, the morning of an apartment tour, on his third coffee, and still feeling like someone had hit him over the head and shoulders while he was sleeping. Sickly sweet Starbucks lattes weren’t even touching his exhaustion; it was that serious. So maybe that’s why, later when Dan was touring this potential apartment, he couldn’t be bothered with the stupid things that were coming out of the landlord’s mouth.

The white, middle aged man, who had introduced himself as Paul, had just closed the door to the master bedroom and was leading Dan to the kitchen when he glanced back at Dan. “Yeah, I just want to give you full, fair warning. The last renters left because they kept seeing a ghost.”

“You don’t say?” Dan hid his eye roll, answering uninterestedly. He didn’t know what the landlord was playing at, but ghosts didn’t exist and this was a nice apartment. He couldn’t be scared away from it. It was an old building, but it had recently been renovated and featured new, shiny appliances. The space wasn’t huge, but it would work perfectly for a 26 year old, single YouTuber. It had a great view of the city and an elevator to aid in the moving process.

“Yeah, ghosts! I mean, I never saw any ghosts, but I do get a weird feeling when I walk around here.” Paul rambled on and Dan leaned against the kitchen counter, staring at him. “From what I hear, the last landlord that owned this property didn’t carefully inspect the place and it ended in some poor bloke dying. Not really sure how; it was back in 2010. But, obviously, everything’s ship shape now.” The man trailed off, gazing around at nothing in particular.

“Uh huh,” Dan answered politely, but distractedly, crouching down to look at the controls on the impressive-looking stove. He wasn’t really listening.

“Oh, yeah! The stove is new and state-of-the-art--” as the landlord barreled into more information about the admittedly nice stove, Dan totally forgot about the weirdo’s ghost comments.

***

A week later, Dan was moving into his new apartment. He had spent a few days weighing his options, but had ultimately decided to apply for the flat that Paul had showed him. The application had been accepted quickly and now Dan was staring at his new home with a large, heavy cardboard box in his arms. Thankfully, his parents and younger brother were kind enough to give up their Saturday to help Dan out. They were hoping to get it all done in a day. Dan glanced back toward the street and felt overwhelmed by all of the boxes, furniture, and stuff in the moving van. As he made trip after trip from moving van to apartment, he felt increasingly thankful for the elevator in the building.

Dan, his parents, and younger brother were in and out of the apartment all morning with boxes and furniture. “Fuck, Dan, when did you get so much shit?” Alex collapsed on the sofa that the four of them had finally fit it into the far corner of the lounge. He glared at Dan, who just rolled his eyes at his moody teenaged brother. Dan couldn’t really say much; he was moody too when he was sixteen. Dan was just glad that he didn’t start his YouTube channel until later in his life. Less cringe-worthy stuff on the internet, that way.

“Sorry Lexy,” Dan put emphasis on his little brother’s childhood nickname, “How about you let me know what I don’t need and I’ll bin it. Would that make you happy?”

Alex puffed out a breath, “Yeah, start with the shoes. You have enough to make the average girl jealous.”

Dan crossed his arms, “sexist little punk.”

“Self-absorbed twat.”

“Wanker.”

“Assho--”

“Boys! Enough.” Their mum suddenly appeared at the opening to the lounge, looking at her offspring disappointedly. “Daniel, you’re 26, you should know better.” Dan looked down at his toes, feeling more remorseful that he was 26 and was still being disciplined by his mum. Alex just looked smug, until their mum turned to him and crossed her arms. “Alex, Daniel is your older brother and he needed our help today. So don’t complain. We’re family, we help each other. That’s what family does.” Alex rolled his eyes in response.

Dan collapsed next to Alex, letting a sigh escape his lips. “Thanks for helping me, you guys. Even though some of us are annoying little pillocks who should be locked in a room until their bodies are no longer being ravaged by hormones--” he looked pointedly at Alex-- “I really appreciate the help.”

“Well, of course you need help, it’s not like you can afford movers on a YouTuber’s salary.” Alex snipped, shoving his shoulder against Dan.

Their mum looked between them with exasperation, throwing her hands up. “I give up! Brothers! So nasty to each other!” She turned around, exiting the flat to get more boxes. Alex giggled.

Dan looked at him unbelievingly. “Did you really just giggle?”

Alex met his stare with furrowed brows, “No, I didn’t fucking giggle. Why would I giggle? The only funny thing here is your career path.” Alex shoved himself off the couch, “come on, you lazy fuck. You aren’t gonna pass all the work off on us.”

“Will you stop being such a prick?” Dan also pushed himself off the couch, already forgetting about the giggle that he had very clearly heard. Instead, he was thinking about offering to order pizza for everyone so they could have a much-deserved lunch break.

***

Later that night, Dan worked in his new bedroom, making his bed and unloading the boxes that had been haphazardly stacked about. The whole process of bringing in his stuff had taken the better part of the day and then his family stuck around to help Dan start to unpack. They didn’t really get far with it, before Dan was insisting that he could handle the unpacking part and that his family had done enough for him. Of course, Alex had made a relieved sassy comment that Dan had ignored and Dan’s mum checked and double-checked that Dan was ok to do it alone. Dan’s dad suggested going out to dinner and everyone had been more than happy to comply.

His family left long ago and Dan was alone in the apartment. It seemed so big and empty. Every footstep seemed to echo. Dan hated new places. It would get better when his stuff was unpacked and arranged. Until then, Dan just blasted some Vampire Weekend and rifled around in the boxes marked ‘bedroom.’ Whenever Dan moved somewhere new, he set his bedroom up first. The bed was the most important thing, especially since it was pushing 10:00 PM and Dan had gotten up disgustingly early that morning. After the bed was made, Dan went through the process of setting up his computer. Connecting to the internet was blessedly easy, but that was because the internet provider had already been in a couple days ago to install the router and ethernet jacks. Dan had stressed to them how important it was to get everything sorted and they had complied.

Fixing up his bedroom also included building his video background, which was always one of his favorite spaces to decorate. Of course, the iconic butt chair was there. He hung fairy lights around his bed frame and delicately put various knick knacks on display on his bedside table. Posters were hung, clothes were folded and stuffed into his chest of drawers, books were fitted into his new bookshelf, bedsheets were smoothed down, and slowly the boxes disappeared. Dan broke them down and slid them in the hallway, promising himself to take care of the pile rather than trip on it for the next two weeks. Before Dan knew it, it was 1:30 AM and he was crashing, quickly.

Dan silenced Ezra Koenig and tore off his clothes, changing into soft pajama bottoms. He lay down on his bed, groaning at the feeling of his aching body sinking into a blessedly comfy memory foam mattress. Dan had paid a small fortune for the bed, but it had been so worth it. He slept like a baby in it. Dan got out his phone, checking his social media accounts for any important updates. He reblogged some fanart on tumblr, watched some of his friends new YouTube videos, and liked some tweets. Dan himself tweeted, ‘of course the first thing i set up in the new flat is my bed. it’s where all the magic happens and by magic i mean sleep.’ Dan spent a few minutes replying with sassy comments to fans, before feeling his eyelids start to drift closed.

“Ugh, the lights. Gotta get the lights.” Dan murmured to himself, forcing his eyes open. He rolled to the left, aiming to get out of the bed, when the lights were suddenly off. Dan perked his head up, looking around in the room that had just been plunged in darkness. He couldn’t see a thing. He groaned, thinking about how he would already have to contact the landlord about electricity problems. “Stupid faulty electricity,” Dan pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes. “Whatever, it can wait until morning.” Dan pushed the bedcovers down, wiggling under them. They were barely over his body when sleep overtook him.  

Dan slept late and when his eyes finally cracked open, the sun was obnoxiously brightening the room. Dan put ‘dark curtains’ on his mental shopping list and pushed the covers off his body. He lay there for a second, observing the ceiling (and praising the lack of cracks in it).

Moments later, his feet touched the floor and he remembered the electricity the previous night. Curious, Dan pushed himself out of bed and padded over to the light switch on the wall. He flicked it experimentally and watched the overhead lights come on and off, on and off. They were working perfectly. There must have been a brief, scarily coincidental, power outage the previous night.

Dan went into the kitchen and made a coffee and popped some toast into the toaster, thanking both his past self for packing some food to sustain him as he moved in, and his mother for unpacking the food immediately. Dan got out his phone as he waited for his breakfast and sent a quick text to his mum. ‘Bless you for unpacking my food.’ She sent him a heart emoji without hesitation and asked him about his first night. He made light conversation about unpacking and sleeping, but quickly said goodbye to her in favor of breakfast.

Dan opened up the notes app in his iPhone, looking at the list of video ideas he had going. Although he had tons of unpacking to do, he was due for a new video soon. He didn’t want to spend a lot of time with a script or with editing, so he figured it was time for another video in his “Quick and Dirty with Dan” series. For these videos, he would essentially set up a camera and rant/ philosophize about a subject for five minutes. He only edited out the “um’s.” They were fun. People cared about his opinions on things, surprisingly. Dan composed a quick tweet: ‘any requests for a quick n dirty?’ and he watched the responses flood in. Of course, plenty of his fans suggested lewd things, inspired by the name of the series. Several tweets said ‘Donald Trump’ and there was no way that Dan was going to fall down that hole. Dan scrolled through his replies, munching on a bite of buttered toast. One tweet jumped out at him and he thumbed the text, liking it. ‘Talk about your experience with/ opinion about the supernatural! Like ghosts, not the show lolol.’ Immediately, Dan recalled the weird conversation he had with Paul the landlord about the ghost that apparently haunted this apartment. It would be a perfect story to include in his video.

When his toast was eaten and cup of coffee was drained, Dan tottered back to his bedroom, maneuvering around boxes. Dan made his bed and changed into his signature black outfit. He set up his camera and lighting equipment and sat down in his chair, checking the viewfinder to make sure that his video background looked agreeable. Dan pressed record, speaking his regular greeting of “Hello internet!” and barreling into the topic of the supernatural.

Three or four hours later, the video was being uploaded onto YouTube. Dan’s more scripted videos took much longer to create, which was why he really liked this series. Dan left the video to do its thing and went to unpack the kitchen, blasting Britney Spears and singing along badly. “Toxic” came on and Dan picked up a wooden spoon, holding it to his mouth and purring out the first words of the song, “baby, can’t you see?” He danced around the kitchen. About halfway through the song, Dan noticed that he was hearing double. There was another voice under Britney’s that wasn’t his own. It wasn’t a particularly good voice, either. It missed some of the notes entirely. Dan furrowed his brow and picked up his phone, checking that Spotify hadn’t accidentally given him a weird, cover version of the song. It hadn’t. Dan paused it and silence enveloped the kitchen. He pressed play again and the song was back to normal, Britney back to her sensual self. Dan felt a little unnerved, thinking about the electricity and the weird mystery voice. He considered exploring the apartment a little, checking closets and corners for possible squatters. In the end, he didn’t do anything of the sort, laughing at himself instead. He needed to get the place set up, then maybe Dan wouldn’t feel so jumpy.

Dan paused Britney and checked the status of his video. He was surprised to find that it had already uploaded successfully. He was impressed with the internet speed. He scrolled through YouTube comments, liking a few clever ones. He rarely replied to YouTube comments, unless one was especially funny. He didn’t find any funny ones, but did notice quite a few that looked exactly identical.

‘Umm wtf ghost at 1:33??????’

‘YOU BETTER BELIEVE IN GHOST STORIES, DANIEL, YOU’RE IN ONE!!!11! 1:33’

‘1:33 Ghost. Ghost. Ghost.’

‘Seriously, what the fuck is that at 1:33??’

Dan rolled his eyes at the comments. These weren’t new on the world of YouTube. People loved creepy things and once one person commented a timestamp and a ghost sighting, it was like a disease. Dan clicked the timestamp on one of the comments, fully expecting a shadow or stuffed animal falling over.

Instead, Dan felt like his heart stopped.

He paused the video. He suddenly felt hot, heat prickling across every inch of his skin. In the video, in the dark doorway of his bedroom, there was an unmistakable figure. A man. He was barely a glimmer, but, boy, was he there.

Dan stared at the screen, wondering if his eyes were playing tricks on him. There was literally no fucking reasonable explanation for what he was seeing. Dan tried to rationalize it, but was coming up with nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Instead, he was thinking about the landlord’s comments, the mysterious giggle that he thought was Alex, the electricity problem, the strange voice he heard while singing “Toxic.” Dan started shaking. He was afraid to play the video and watch what the figure would do. But he had to. Curiosity ate at him. Slowly, shakily, Dan pressed play and watched the entryway. The man looked up at Dan in the video. Dan blanched at the man’s pale skin, dark hair, and piercing eyes. He didn’t look unfriendly, watching Dan with curiosity. In the video, Dan was saying something about “the idea of ghosts scaring the diddly heck out of him,” and Dan saw the ghost’s mouth quirk up in a smile, before he was simply phasing out of frame.

Dan paused the video and released a breath that he had been holding.

“Sorry for intruding on your video.” Dan screamed, actually screamed, jerking violently in his chair. It pitched back and he crashed to the floor. The room echoed with the sound of the loud crash and Dan felt momentarily dazed. He stared up at the ceiling, wondering if someone had slipped him hallucinogenic drugs without him knowing. Alex would probably get a kick out of doing something like that. Suddenly, a figure came into Dan’s view, looking at Dan upside down. It was the figure from the video. The ghost? The hallucination? Dan’s eyes widened at the man. He looked… concerned. “Oh dear, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. Are you all right?” Dan noticed the voice had a Northern tinge, and now was really not the time to notice such a fucking stupid detail.

“Me? I-I-- well, I-I. Are y-you? Ghost? Who, who, who are you?” Dan stuttered pathetically, trembling all over. He felt cold and hot at the same time. He wondered briefly if he had a fever. Maybe he hadn’t woken up yet and this was a dream.

The figure covered his translucent face in equally translucent hands. “Oh god, I’ve really muffed this up. Of course you would be frightened.” He removed his hands from his face and stared down at Dan. “Won’t you get up? We could go to the lounge? I’ll introduce myself properly!”

Dan just lay there, trembling. He blinked his eyes over and over, willing the ghost to disappear. He wasn’t awake. He was asleep. This was a dream. He pinched himself. It didn’t work. He slapped himself in the face. Nothing happened.

“Hey! Don’t hit yourself!” Dan jumped again. He stared into a pair of ghosts eyes a moment longer and decided that he should at least pick himself off the floor. He did so, probing the back of his head and wincing at the tender spot that was definitely bruised. Methodically, he picked the chair up off the ground and tucked it under the desk, trying to breathe evenly. It was a losing battle. Finally, Dan snapped, and the floodgates opened. He began breathing harder, the unmistakable feeling of panic sweeping over his body. He felt lightheaded and numb. Dan sat down on the floor, hard, breath coming faster and faster. He pushed himself against the wall of his bedroom, trying to get as far away from the ghost as possible. His breath wheezed out of him, specks of spit flying out of his mouth. Dan pressed his head in between his knees as he lost feeling in his fingers. He didn’t feel real. He was terrified. What was happening to him?  “Hey, hey, now. It’s ok. God, I’m so sorry, Dan. It’s ok. Breathe. Slowly, slowly now.” Dan knew that the voice was coming from the object of his fears, but it was good advice. He tried his best to take it, trying to control his lungs. He used every trick he had learned throughout his life of living with anxiety. He imagined that his lungs had legs and were running away and he imagined himself running after them, catching them in his hands. He listened to the soothing repetition of “it’s ok, shh, slowly now” coming from the mouth of the fucking ghost across from him. Dan picked up his heavy hands and brought them up to his own neck, dragging his fingers along the sensitive skin there. Anything to ground him. Anything to make him feel real again. Minutes later, Dan’s breathing began to slow. He focused hard on forcing it to stay slow. “There ya go, good. I’m not a bad guy. I couldn’t hurt a fly, I promise.”

Dan looked up at the ghost who had crouched down in front of Dan’s crumpled form. He would have looked like a completely normal guy, if not for the see-through skin and the slightly hovering body. This was the first time Dan was getting a good look at him and he was surprised, to say the least. The man in front of him was more like a boy. He had long, black hair that was cut into a style resembling cool 2007 emo myspace kids. Interestingly enough, he was sporting a worn, blue shirt and grey sweatpants. He had piercing blue eyes.  “You’re a ghost.” Dan’s voice was shaky and monotone. He felt exhausted. Dan realized that his face was wet with tears. When he had a panic attack, he often couldn’t tell the difference between hyperventilating and sobbing. It all blended into one disastrous experience.  

The figure looked embarrassed and Dan thought he saw the ghost’s face turn red. “I am a ghost. I’m sorry.” The ghost scratched at the back of his head. “Dan, I feel terribly. I should have realized that you would have reacted like this. I accidentally drove the last renters out and I never even purposefully revealed myself to them. God, I’m just an idiot. I just couldn’t believe that you were a YouTuber and I got so excited to see the camera and--”

“--Ok, ok. It’s, um, ok, I guess.” Dan cut the ghost off. He blew out a shaky breath. “How do you, um, know my name?”

The ghost looked embarrassed again. “Oh, I heard your family call you Dan. That sounds so creepy. Sheesh,” he refused to meet Dan’s eyes. “I wish I could leave you alone forever, but I-- uh-- am kinda tethered to this place. Can’t leave.”

Dan nodded slowly, deciding that, if this was happening and this was reality, he might as well be cordial. “Oh. Well, do you have a name?”

Phil clapped his hand over his face and Dan couldn’t help but jump a little, body still on edge. “I’m really cocking this up. Yes of course I have a name, I’m so rude. Phil Lester, at your service!” Phil stuck his hand out at Dan who just stared at it. Phil slowly retracted it, “sorry, habit.” The ghost coughed, “sorry.”

“Right. Um.” Dan chewed his lip and stared at Phil with wide eyes. What was the proper etiquette when it came to ghosts? He couldn’t offer Phil some tea and cakes, for chrissakes. Dan suddenly remembered something Phil had said only seconds before. “You know YouTube? How?”

Phil smiled a sad smile and crossed his legs. He looked like a monk who had achieved enlightenment with his hovering. “I had a channel back in the day. I had a lot of fun with it.” Phil stared at his legs, picking at the fabric covering his knee.  

“Oh! Wow, you were a YouTuber?” Dan couldn’t hide his disbelief. What were the odds that the ghost tethered to his new apartment had also been a YouTube when he was alive? Dan wasn’t even going to dwell on how weird that sentence was. “What was your username?”

Phil met his eyes and smiled shyly, “oh, um, it was amazingphil.” Dan raised his eyebrows. “I know, I know. I made it in 2006.”

“That’s fair; everyone had quirky usernames back in the day.” Dan remembered his first youtube channel name and was briefly thankful that he never made a single video on it. He couldn’t imagine what kind of professional life he could have with a name like ‘danisnotonfire.’

“Yeah, I guess. But mine was particularly silly, huh?”

“Not as bad as danisnotonfire,” Dan said, laughing a little.

“That’s your channel name?!”

“Oh no, no. But it was the account I made when I was 16. I never used it to make videos, thank god.” Silence followed Dan’s comment and he was struck by the sudden realization that he was having a fucking conversation with a ghost. “Hey-- did you turn off the lights last night?” Dan tilted his head to the side slightly and Phil looked abashed.

“Um, ah, yeah. You had just worked so hard and looked so comfy. I just flicked them off for you, it wasn’t hard.” Phil cleared his throat, “electricity is one those things that I can manipulate.”

Dan hummed to himself. “So you were watching me last night?”

Phil’s eyes widened. “Sorry! Sorry! Bad habit! I don’t see many people. It’s just nice to--” He cut himself off. “I think it’s about time for me to leave you alone. You need some space,” Phil nodded to himself, “I need to get out of your space.”

“Phil! Phil, wait! I still have--” and then the ghost was gone, as quick as he had appeared. “--questions.” Dan finished lamely.

Dan looked around his bedroom, almost surprised to find that it hadn’t changed; only Dan’s perception of it had. Everything was too bright and crystal clear, like he had been swimming underwater with his eyes open until that moment. Dan shakily got up off the floor and made his way to the bed, collapsing on it. He didn’t bother to put on different clothes or get under the covers. So, a ghost was haunting his new apartment. What was he supposed to do about that? Let the landlord know? The landlord already knew; he had bloody warned Dan. Tell his parents? His subscribers? Well, his subscribers had already seen it. Curious, Dan pulled his phone out of his back pocket and scrolled through his replies on Twitter. The ghost was literally the only thing that any of them were talking about. Dan checked the views on his video and his mouth dropped open. It was almost to one million views, which was pretty normal for him, but it always took a couple of days for the views to add up to a million. His video was going viral. Dan locked his phone and placed it on the bedside table. What was he supposed to do about this? He began to drift asleep, the exhaustion of his panic attack weighing him down into the mattress. Phil had been a YouTuber when he was alive; maybe Dan would ask him his opinion. Before Dan could consider how odd of a concept it was, he was asleep.

Chapter two

[artificialqueens]

Hey (Trixya) - JJ

AN: Hi hello there this is my first-ever fic and I am freaking the fuck out but hey it’s 3:30AM and I have the rest of the night to regret every decision I’ve ever made.

Short lil’ Trixya thing I’ve had in my mind for a while now (even tho there’s barely any Trixie in it LOL). A lil' angsty. Mostly Katya-centric and Katya/Violet friendship-centric. Drag names are used but with male pronouns (except Violet, of course, has gender-neutral pronouns).

If people are interested I’ll do a follow-up.

I welcome (and would actually really appreciate) any and all constructive criticism, please!

Thank-you so much for reading!

XOXOXO,

~ JJ

“Okay… so… how long, EXACTLY, has it been since you last spoke to him…?”

  Katya sighed and refused to look at the computer screen where Violet’s no-doubt judgemental face could be seen.

  “I dunno. Little while. Not that long.” He dared sneak a glance and immediately regretted it as he was met with one of Violet’s admittedly perfect eye rolls.

  “Bitch you didn’t even wish him a happy birthday. The entirety of the Internet freaked the fuck out. I was surprised some dumbass hashtag wasn’t trending because of it. #RIPTrixya or something. #KatyaKilledTrixya. Endless possibilities.”

  “Hey!” Katya gasped indignantly, “Just because I didn’t wish him a public happy birthday on social media does not mean I didn’t wish him a happy birthday at all! I sent him a lovely text right at midnight.

  “And besides!” he continued, “Fans are so over-dramatic. We have a show coming out soon. How can anyone think we had a falling out. Jesus.”

  “You done yet?” Violet asked. Katya shot them an annoyed look.

  “I am just saying,” Violet continued, “that it’s a little suspish. And I mean, really? A text? Not even FaceTime or a phone call? Seriously, Katya, what’s wrong?” Violet’s voice betrayed their stone-cold bitch persona, genuinely concerned for their friend.

  Katya started to deny any reason for concern but stopped himself. Shoulders slumped and looking totally defeated, he looked away from Violet’s prying eyes and focused on picking a hangnail.

  “It’s hard now.” He whispered.

  “What’s hard?” Violet prompted.

  “My dick,” Katya replies instantaneously, always turning to humour when the things get a little too serious for his liking.

  “Katya I swear to God…” Violet sighs impatiently.

  “Okay okay sorry.” Katya giggles nervously, eyes darting all over the place.

  Silence.

  “Katya if you don’t start talking soon I swear to God I will—”

  “Okay!” Katya snaps, cutting Violet off. He takes a deep breath.

  “It’s hard now—”

  “You already said that.”

  “If you don’t let me finish I am ending this call right now.” Katya threatened.

  “By all means, continue.” Violet says, smirking.

  “It's… like… ugh! I don’t know!” Katya growls, frustrated.

  “Just do what you always do and let the word vomit happen. I’m sure I’ll catch the gist.” Violet suggests.

  “Okay. So. Like. You know how part of our whole dynamic is that ongoing joke about me wanting to fuck him and him always denying me? It’s fun, right? I always thought so. Going off on those tangents was always such a gas and one of my favourite parts of all my sets. But like. Lately I don’t find it so much fun. It’s like I feel sick every time I start and then I end up going off of my usual script and saying stupid shit like ‘I wish he were my boyfriend’ or something and JESUS. I don’t know. It makes me upset now. Like we’ve gone from ‘ha ha he’ll never fuck me but I’ll sure die trying!’ to ‘wow this is really never gonna happen huh I wonder why I’m not good enough.’” He finishes with a deep sigh and waits for Violet to respond. He fully expects for them to laugh and comment on how silly this was and tell him to just get over it and move on.

  What he’s not expecting is for Violet to remain quiet and stare intensely at what he assumes is his face on their screen. There’s a bit of something (excitement? hope?) in their eyes and Katya doesn’t know what’s happening. If it weren’t for Violet’s chest moving as they breathed he would have thought the connection had been frozen.

  “Vi? You gonna say something?”

  “You’re not done. I’m waiting for you to finish.” Violet replies quickly.

  “Um. What?” Katya asks lamely.

  “Your word vomit. You’re not done. There’s more. I’m waiting.”

  “No? There’s not?” Katya is desperately trying to figure out what’s happening but comes up blank.

  “Jesus Christ do not make me spell it out for y—” before they could continue, someone calls out Violet’s name and they look over their computer at whoever it is.

  “Listen, I gotta go. I’m up soon. Call me back when you figure your fucking shit out.”

  Before Katya can even begin to formulate a response, the call is disconnected.

  ***************

  Katya tries his best to go to sleep, but it turns out to be impossible. He keeps going over his conversation with Violet in his head, trying to make sense of it all.

  He sighs deeply and turns over in his bed, reaching for his phone. Normally, when he couldn’t sleep, he’d text Trixie a multitude of weird facts and random thoughts. The other man would usually be sound asleep but would always reply as soon as he woke up, usually with a simple “Katya what the fuck” before individually commenting on every text he received.

  Normally.

  But try as he might, Katya can’t bring himself to text Trixie. Hasn’t been able to for weeks now. It’s weird. He’s used to texting back and forth every day, even when they’re on opposite sides of the world. Sure, replies may be hours apart, but they still make it work.

  He wonders if Trixie realizes they haven’t texted about anything other than the necessary reasons (such as their upcoming show) for going on three weeks now.

  Probably not.

  Katya opens up their conversation thread and types a simple you awake?

  He quickly deletes it, sounding too much like a booty call.

  hey Tracy it’s your mom

  Delete.

  you would not believe what I saw this afternoon walking down my neighbourhood

Delete.

  are you still being a good person and honouring your NDA or can we talk about AS3 now

  Delete.

  I miss you.

  Delete.

  do you miss me?

  Delete.

  you know it’s weird it’s like I can’t breathe lately and I wonder if it has anything to do with us not talking ha ha ha

  Delete.

  do you realize how long it’s been since we’ve spoken

  I don’t really know how to live my everyday life when you’re not a part of it

  Jesus Christ do you even care

  fuck you

  I hate you

  Delete.

  Delete.

  Delete.

  Delete.

  DELETE.

  He turns his phone off and shoves it underneath his comforter, deep at the bottom of the bed.

  And suddenly breathing is very hard.

  He tries to catch a breath but finds it impossible. He realizes he’s shaking and tries even harder to calm down. It’s been a while since he had a panic attack. He’s not sure he even knows how to deal with a panic attack any more.

  Because he always calls Trixie whenever he thinks he can feel one coming on.

  But that’s not really an option at the moment.

  “Come on, Katya, put that fucking yoga training to use.” He tells himself, trying to take deep breaths.

  It takes a while, definitely much longer than in the past, but he finally manages to calm down. Well. His breathing is still shaky and his hands still tremble slightly, but at least it no longer feels as if he’s about to die.

  He turns his computer on, opens Skype, and hopes Violet is available.

  Violet Chachki is offline.

  Damn.

  He types a quick 911 in the chat box and, almost immediately after hitting “SEND,” hears the familiar tone of an incoming call.

  “What’s up, slut?” Violet greets him, a light teasing tone to their voice.

  “Figured it out.” He replies numbly.

  “Mmm figured what out?”

  Okay now they’re just being a little cruel.

  “That um. That. That I…”

  “…are stupidly in love with one Trixie Mattel and want to father his biologically impossible babies?” Violet offers helpfully.

  “Yeah that’d be it.” Katya whispers.

  “And what are you gonna do about it.”

  Katya snaps his head up so quickly it’s a miracle he doesn’t cause whiplash.

  “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I am going to bury this deep deep DEEP down and never mention it ever.”

  Violet rolls their eyes.

  “So you came to this grand conclusion for what, exactly?”

  “Well now I know. So I can hide it.”

  Violet is about to reply when Katya cuts them off.

  “We have a show coming up, Violet. We’ve built this little niche together. We are a business. I can’t let anything get in the way of that. I can’t do that to him.” Tears prick at his eyes and he can feel his breathing becoming elevated once again.

  “Don’t you fucking dare freak out on me.”

  Well. That’s certainly a different approach from Trixie’s gentle comfort. But if it works it works.

  “Listen to me, Katya, because I am only going to say this once. You’d have to be fucking blind to not see the way Trixie looks at you. Like you hang the fucking moon. And yes I am aware of the fact that platonic love is very real and platonic soulmates are a thing but TRUST me when I say you two are so much more than that. It might’ve started out platonic, sure, but it has definitely grown into something so much bigger. You just weren’t ready. And now you are. So I am going to ask you one more time. What. are. you. going. to. do. about. it.”

  Katya takes a deep breath and lets it out, slowly and shakily.

  “Something really stupid,“ he replies.

  Violet grins.

  “That’s my fucking girl.”

  ***************

  Okay so in retrospect hauling ass to Trixie’s place at four o’clock in the morning probably wasn’t the best idea.

  But here he is.

  He’s been ringing the doorbell and knocking for the past seven minutes and is seriously considering just hunkering down against the door and sleeping until Trixie finds him later on in the morning when he hears his angry voice from the other side of the door, closer with every word.

  “I swear to God this better be a fucking emergency or if you’re here to murder me you better get it right on the first try because I am pissed the fuck off right now and could probably kill a man!”

  The door is swung open angrily.

  Trixie’s angry face quickly turns to one of shock.

  Katya smiles shyly.

  They stare at each other.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey.”