#people tell me I have too high standards but? is this the result of the opposite? I’ve isolated myself as my mental health has gotten worse

[avpd-queer]

I feel bad that my former best friend is in a toxic relationship and can’t see it, is throwing away their friends of over a decade for her, but I also can’t stop remembering how, when I shared with them that I had just learned I had been cheated on and gaslighted about it for 6 years, their response was concern about my abuser’s mental health. That conversation didn’t affect their relationship with him in the slightest, they didn’t try to be there for me or show up for me to him, and when I they learned that I was going to get back with that person just a few days later, expecting them to be like, “uh no I don’t think that’s a good idea” (like everyone else had done and like I expected from them, having told them “just don’t let any of your friends date him” when I shared that I was leaving him, thinking they could help me figure out where to sleep and how to adjust), they didn’t protest at all. I was glad to avoid the awkwardness of, “thank you for your concern but I don’t have other options and idk I guess I’m gullible but also I just really want to believe it’ll get better” but also hurt that they didn’t seem concerned for my well-being. Hoping that they just didn’t voice that part because I’m an adult and can make decisions and already know what advice I would give myself. I just had to cling to believing that, and thinking maybe they don’t understand what gaslighting is and that’s why they didn’t seem to care, even as they became less and less my friend and eventually dropped both of us for trying to set a boundary with them about their girlfriend. And the only way they offer for me to be there for them through their relationship is to stuff down all of my needs and feelings, go along with every whim of their girlfriend, and accept that we will never get time with them without her ever again. They kept pretending like everything was okay and they totally understood, when we were face-to-face, and then they’d go home and suddenly we’re horrible and need to apologize to her for…being her friend? Trying to get more time with our best friend? Being honest with our best friend when they ask why we haven’t been able to get closer to their girlfriend? We were trying to be adult and trust in the strength of our friendship, but they fully gave in to their girlfriend’s temper tantrum over her misinterpretation of messages she logged into their discord to read, and they have just fully thrown us away. Ghosted us for pride and haven’t communicated with us in any form since. We had some extra pizza from a canceled event at my partner’s work that I left on their doorstep and had my sister text about, and they responded that they were out of the country, visiting her family. Normally we have two weekly dnd sessions and 1-2 weekly hangout sessions - the first week of dnd was canceled and after that, they just never showed up. This month of nothing is one of the few months we had left before they were going to move to where her family lives in the US, like 10hr drive from here, being fully isolated with her, without a support system, away from the support system they haven’t been away from in like 8 years (when I was in New York - my partner was here during those 2 years, they were roommates).

I’m just so hurt. They meant so much to me, I planned on having them in my life for the rest of it. I knew in the last relationship they were in they let us fall to the side some but she broke up with them and they realized how absorbed they’d been and promised to not let it happen again. Before meeting the current girlfriend, who they immediately got absorbed into. I don’t know what the fuck to do.

[thehighladywrites]

ACOTAR MEN X READER, SITTING ON THEIR LAP

✩ summary: different scenarios where you find yourself sitting on them

✩ warnings: nsfw, 18+, mentions of sex, mentions of self-doubt, kissing, begging, gossiping, fluff, smut, crack, fun times and soft Eris😭💗

✩ amara’s note: the original cassian hc was so long that i had to stop myself bc i was thirsting and it turned into a regular oneshot lmaooo😭 anyways enjoy babes!!!!💗💗💗

reblogs are really appreciated! :D

RHYSAND

No matter how angry you and Rhys get or how petty the fight is, you two always end up holding hands, even while yelling at each other.

Sitting in his lap while you two argue about random, non important stuff is a standard

You guys just don’t do the whole “no touching” thing

Today, the argument was over who cooks better, both of you bickering pettily.

“Listen, I love you a lot, but the kitchen isn’t your best friend. It's crazy how you can burn an empty pot.”

“Maybe you’re crazy,” you retort, arms crossed over your chest as you step closer to him, leaning against his desk in his office.

He keeps arguing with you, going back and forth, while pushing his chair back from the desk to make room for you.

“Whatever, Rhys. I don’t even need to cook when I can summon anything. It’s stupid, and you’re being unfair,” you mutter as you put your hands on his shoulders and plop down in his lap, subconsciously warming at the way he holds your waist and places one hand on your back to keep you steady.

He suppresses a smile, scratching the back of his head as he looks up at your pouting self. “You’re absolutely right, sweetheart. I don’t know what I was thinking. Of course, you’re an amazing chef,” he concedes, his tone laced with affection.

“Awww, come with me while I make you something,” you say, flashing him an oblivious smile.

“Oh! Um, you sure we shouldn't order something or..?” he asks nervously, his voice getting higher as he kisses you.

You slip out of his lap and hurry downstairs to plan his meal, assuring him not to worry about ordering anything and to just come down for his favorite meal.

“Dear Gods,” he whispers as he gets up, a mix of worry and fear in his voice.

ERIS

Eris had been stressed out for a few weeks now. Nothing you said seemed to make a difference.

He was dealing with his father’s death, ruling a new court as the heir, and inheriting the High Lord powers. Your heart ached for him. You wanted to be there for him, giving him hugs and words of encouragement, but you were not on that level yet

Today had been the most stressful day yet, resulting in him shutting down and locking himself up in his bedroom.

“Eris, are you okay? Can I please come in?” you knock gently on the wooden door, voice hushed and gentle.

After a few moments of silence, you hear him shuffling behind the door until he opens it very slightly.

He is shirtless, only in a pair of pants. You manage to catch a glimpse of his tired, amber eyes before he turns around to lie in his bed.

The room looks clinically clean, the only disturbance being Eris’s rugged appearance.

Without saying a word, you walk over to him and give him a hug. It’s a long, warm hug that tells him everything he doesn’t allow himself to hear: you’re there for him.

It takes a few moments for him to hug you back, but when he does, he wraps his arms tightly around your waist, bringing you into his lap.

Only after an hour of silence does he speak

“I feel like i’m stuck. These powers are killing me, the board is fucking annoying, the folk believe i’m wicked and cruel and i have no idea what to do about anything.”

He looks up at you with desperate eyes, “Do you believe I’m truly wicked?”

You shake your head in honesty. “No, honey. I have not met anyone as smart, kindhearted and brave as you. Others do not know you like I do but they should,” you whisper, hands going through his tussled hair. “You’ve been hiding behind your mask for too long, Eris. Let people see the real you.”

The room goes quiet, the only sound being the beating of your hearts.

Slowly his lips meet yours in a new and experimental kiss. He stares up at you with his pupils blown but before you can apologize and get off his lap, he kisses you again and locks his arm around you

“Thank you,” he whispers between heating kisses, “Thank you, beautiful.”

CASSIAN

“Hi there sugar, what can I do for you?” Cassian asks sweetly as he flicks your nose with his finger, happy that you ran into his office and immediately plopped down on his lap

“Can you fuck me?” you ask, frustrated with the lack of dick lately.

His eyes widen slightly at your words, then he slowly cracks a handsome smile. “Gods. How inappropriate of you,” he teases, the amusement clear in his voice.

His teasing almost makes you sob. This was totally NOT the time. You almost roll your eyes before realizing he will so not give in if you give him that

“Cassian, i’m begging you. I want, no- need to be fucked. Please, i’m losing hearing in my left ear,” you beg as you get closer and sit in his lap, rubbing your hands all over his chest

He looked incredibly good, almost unfairly so. Cassian’s jaw and chin had grown scruffy in a ruggedly masculine way that made him look older and even more attractive.

A week without seeing him had only heightened your weakness for his body, making you throb.

“Losing hearing? You must be really dying for me, huh? Alright then. I’ll let you ride,” he smirks at you while unbuckling his belt.

He finally fucking let’s you fuck, hitting spots that makes you go fuzzy brained.

You make him promise to never be gone again before going for another ride, satisfied when he breathlessly promises.

LUCIEN

There is not a bigger shit-talking couple in Prythian than you two

One look between you two is enough.

Someone’s being annoying? You share an annoyed glance. Someone’s being rude? You share a baffled glance. Something’s juicy’s happening? You share a glance that says you will so talk about it when you get home.

“— and he has the audacity to two-time her? He’s lucky to find even one person willing to date him,” you gossip, lounging in Lucien’s lap, your voice dripping with disbelief.

“You’re not going to believe this, but this isn’t his first time. He did that to Tamlin’s cousin too,” Lucien adds, his tone filled with incredulity.

“No way,” you gasp in disbelief, shaking your head as the gossip sinks in.

“Yeah, apparently this guy fucks around in all courts and cheats on anyone willing to stomach. What a fucking loser, honestly,” Lucien nods in agreement, disdain evident in his voice. “The sick bastard gets off on it.”

“That reminds me, guess what I heard about Rhys in Rita’s yeaterday,” Lucien prompts, leaning in with a sly grin, clearly ready to share some gossip.

“Some males and females were talking about Rhys, saying he's replaced Feyre with a clone,” Lucien whispers, his tone laced with disdain. “And get this— they think her transformation from human to fae is fake and that there is no way she could possibly be the mother of Nyx.”

“A clone? They’ll say anything these days,” you exclaim, raising an eyebrow incredulously.

“That's exactly what I'm saying! They're probably just making shit up out of thin air,” Lucien replies, nodding in agreement.

“I wouldn't put it past them,” you say, shaking your head as you reach for a biscuit, happy to be sitting and gossiping with your love.

AZRIEL

Azriel loves when you sit on his lap.

It makes him feel safe and relaxed knowing you're close to him.

It's something he does every day when he comes home - having you in his lap. Sometimes you both sit quietly, other times you talk or fuck or cuddle, depending on how you’re feeling.

Azriel especially likes the fuck part.

He loves the part where you sit on his lap while he works. If you’re good, he’ll bend you over his desk and fuck you. If not, he still fucks you but he does it with no mercy

He makes you sit on his dick and tells you not to move and inch or you will be edged for hours, not being allowed to cum once

Fucking torture is what it is honestly

“Stop moving around so much, i can’t focus.”

“Do you blame me? You’ve buried your dick in me, of course i’m moving. Maybe do something about that.”

He raises his eyebrows at your snarky comment. If it’s something he didn’t need today it was sass.

His day was quite shitty and all he needed was his sweet mate who would kiss away his problems and take his dick perfectly

Azriel smiled slightly as he put his pen down. He would take out his frustrations on you today.

“You want to be fucked? Let’s fuck,” he says in a low tone

In the end, all his papers are scattered, all pens on the floor.

He is relaxed and all smiley while you’re on death’s door💗

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

what's keeping you away from genuine ways of expressing yourself?

this is a pick a pile tarot reading inspired by the new moon in leo, but is not specific to this particular moment in time. in astrology, the moon represents the unconscious mind, your emotions and in which ways your intuition works, while the zodiac sign leo is more oriented towards the ego, creativity and social relations. all of those things that tend to characterize this sign, usually means that some level of efficient and assertive communication is valuable for keeping away drama and misunderstandings, therefore, i thought about making this general reading to see what advice the cards have for something quite difficult for almost everyone: remaining true to our essence and being able to communicate that in a way that is genuine to us, our identity, our desires and our feelings, no matter who is listening.

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

images from pinterest and dividers by @fairytopea

꒰ঌ ✦ scroll down for the results ໒꒱ ༘*.ﾟ

-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ Masterpost and Tarot Menu ❁༺ ˎˊ-

˚ ༘ ೀpile number one ⋆｡˚

Your card for this reading is the King of Swords. What this tells me is that you value intellectual honesty, and you’re willing to go against your own emotions if that means that you’ll find the truth and that you are very likely to be perceived as someone who doesn’t have a filter or is too honest. It’s key that you understand that even if you don’t allow yourself to be guided by emotional attachments, other people do. Being highly logical or highly sensitive are both valuable, and both ways of thinking and acting have their pros and cons. But this card wouldn’t pop up if the logical ways of approaching things wasn’t causing some issues. Although holding yourself to a high standard of rationality when it comes to manifestations of the unconscious or the way you naturally relate to others can be beneficial, I feel as if that is also causing you to react coldly to your own emotions, instead of embracing them. You need to let go of the idea that things must be coherent and make sense all time, we are humans, and many of what makes us human doesn’t make too much sense or doesn’t work according to logic. Seeking order, patterns and structure in places where there’s not a big need for those, is not going to give you the truths that serve your personal development. It’s key that you take some time to embrace what seems absurd about yourself, without looking for logic, but looking for experiences that will guide you to the answers you need.

˚ ༘ ೀpile number two ⋆｡˚

The card for you on this reading is the Six of Wands. What I see here, is a lot of well deserved feelings of pride that you are protecting at all costs. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being proud, and I don’t even think this is the actual issue here. What’s blocking your most honest expressions is the fact that you are not allowing yourself the possibility of making a mistake, as you might feel this could take away from all the achievements you’ve had before. It’s key to know, when to be vulnerable, when to take a risk and where you are safe to try things out for the first time, but you are still not comfortable enough to embrace things about yourself that make you insecure, which is completely valid and understandable. In your case, I think that is okay if you want to preserve a sense of control over how others perceive you, yet it wouldn’t be healthy to allow others to expect things from you that are far too demanding to keep up with sometimes. It is necessary that you start setting honest boundaries with others and with yourself, in order to preserve a healthy sense of worth. Your value as a person is not defined by your achievements, or your failures, it is defined by how and why you do what you do no matter the result. When your intentions are honest and you are trying to better yourself or help others, it doesn’t matter what the final outcome is.

˚ ༘ ೀpile number three ⋆｡˚

Your card is the Chariot. The meaning of this card has to do with life experiences, movement and some level of chaos that is necessary in order to grow. I see that you are capable to maintain a certain level of peace of mind even when things around you are hectic, and this is something that might attract some people who are either amazed or envious of this.  In your case, I think that being all over the place (socially, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally) means that you are not quite sure yet on where you stand in relation to certain aspects of your life. This might seem like a problem, because some people are more settled on their beliefs or have more stable lives than you, but in reality, the fact that you are willing to try everything you can before committing is actually something that makes your life something richer. It’s completely normal to feel uncertain, confused and lost, but this shouldn’t keep you away from giving yourself the credit you deserve for the way you have chosen to experience life. Take some pride on what makes you different, and take pride on the process of self exploration you are, even if you are far away from finding a solid philosophy or stability in your life, embrace the fact you are capable of experiencing things without many attachments.

-ˋˏ ༻ ❁ Masterpost and Tarot Menu ❁༺ ˎˊ-

[seelestia]

— ❝𝐎𝐇 𝐌𝐘 𝐆𝐎𝐒𝐇, 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍!❞

SUMMARY. "oh my gosh, you're literally my dream person!" here's a list of red flags for you, honey. (inspired by a tiktok trend! the one with the soundboard, iykyk.)

CHARACTERS. wanderer, alhaitham, albedo, childe + GN!reader.

GENRE. full-on crack, some fluff, not-so serious and light-hearted character slander.

CW. has heavy refs to albedo's story / 2.3 event and wanderer's story, brief mentions of blood in childe's part (not detailed/graphic), one brief mention of kissing in wanderer's part, light cussing and terrible humor. + read the alt text on the headers for extra captions, hehe!

THOUGHTS. this is my most unserious work yet and for that, i apologize if this gets too unhinged or inaccurate at some point LMAOOO. red flags are fine, red is my fav color anyway (it's actually light purple) <33 can you guess who's the favorite here 🧍‍♂️

✰ masterlist.

[ WANDERER ]

❝Dream person, huh? That's oddly fitting because the day you win me over is only gonna happen in your dreams too.❞

Has some abandonment and mother issues. ...Yeah. These issues may result in emotional walls as strong and firm as the Great Wall of China but when you break through them, he's never ever gonna let you go (unfortunately). I'd tell you to start running but this silly guy can float and zoom in the air, so best of luck.

You'll only hear crickets if you fall asleep on his chest. On the very rare occasions where he allows you to, that is. If you're into that romantic "falling asleep on your lover's chest while listening to their heartbeat" stuff, you're not getting it with Wanderer here. But if you listen hard enough, maybe you'll get to hear termites or something because he's canonically made out of white wood. (I'm joking, I love him too.)

Terrible with feelings. He'd rather jump off a cliff than start talking about his feelings. ...Okay, fine. Harboring humane emotions is an annoyingly blurry line that he has vowed to stop caring about after regaining his memories. It doesn't mean he doesn't cringe at himself every now and then, though — knowing that he has talked about his feelings to someone else (only you and Nahida) keeps him up at night, as embarrassing as it is to admit. ("Hey, do you remember that one time when you told me—" "I don't.")

May prioritize his pride over you sometimes. Let's take a rainy day as an example. It's pouring cats and dogs which means that the risk of catching a cold is high as ever... thus, as the rain begins to soak you, you turn to your companion (whose clothes are saved by the hat on his head) with puppy eyes. His reply comes in the same speed as a lightning strike; "No," he says. Beg and cry if you want, he is not letting you under his hat because it's "not a damn parasol". Fine, maybe he just doesn't care about your well-being and that's totally fine (sarcastic) — but the very next second, as he grabs your wrist and starts dashing to a nearby inn with you in tow — you can't help but let a small smile slip. Maybe he does care? Pride just gets in the way sometimes.

Might accidentally suffocate you when you two kiss because how the heck is he supposed to remember that humans need to breathe when your lips are just so soft for no reason? Ugh, humans and their ridiculous needs (derogatory but he still loves you simp).

Has a long list of crimes and felonies that we don't talk about. Ah, yes, the courtesy of being a previous Fatui Harbinger, indeed. Irminsul may have forgotten about this list, but the Wiki sure as heck hasn't.

[ ALHAITHAM ]

❝So, you consider me someone who fits your type? I see. Unfortunately, knowing whether or not I fit into another person's ideals doesn't have much value to me.❞

Books > people. Is that really a flaw? He doesn't think it is. Books are a source of knowledge and aren't they supplements that enrich the minds of those who read them? Not to mention, there is no need to cater to whatever social standards with inanimate objects unlike when you're around people. ...But apparently, Kaveh told him that this mindset "makes him look like an absolute loner with no social skills and no friends whatsoever" to which he'd usually bite back with an "at least, I have a stable housing." TLDR: books are Alhaitham's closest friends and that's a little sad (he doesn't care about other people's opinions, though).

Unreachable when his soundproof headphones are on. Shush, he is in his official (but not-so-official) 'Do Not Disturb' mode. Sorry in advance, he may or may not accidentally ignore you when his soundproof headphones are on. If you want to have a few words with him, either be patient and wait or make sure they're of absolute importance lest you risk being given the deadliest, emptiest stare ever known to mankind. If looks could kill, you would've keeled on the spot. Instant unintentional (??) homicide, so true of him.

Awkward with small talks. Alhaitham is good at talking about topics that really matter and he very much prefers it that way too. But that's the thing; when the discussion of that particular subject ends, that's it. He often dodges the silence in a 'cool' way, though; either by taking an early leave or bringing out a book if the situation there still needs him present. (In his defense, if no one wants to start and carry the conversation, then isn't it a bit hypocritical to count on him to do that too?)

Physical affection stupefies him (it'll take time). Alhaitham doesn't hate it, no, but something about it just doesn't align much with his sense of familiarity. He usually keeps his distance; even with new acquaintances, shaking hands has never been his thing and it's been a long time since Alhaitham has had someone he feels comfortable enough to receive physical affection from or to give some of it to (his grandmother was the last, maybe). By all means, this isn't meant to be a sob story — it's just brought up to explain that physical affection is a thing he's not familiar with, so it'll take some time to get used to. Good luck to those with physical touch as a preferred love language (me), this feeble scholar who may turn into a stiff log when you hug him is in your capable hands!

[ ALBEDO ]

❝Is that a compliment of some kind? I must say it's certainly not one I hear very often, thus I feel inclined to appreciate it all the more. Thank you.❞

Has a lab located in Dragonspine. Yes, this is a red flag because look me in the eyes and tell me you would realistically travel up that death trap of a mountain every single time just to spend time with him. He comes down from the mountain at least twice or thrice a month, so you'll still get to see his pretty face regardless, just not as frequently — so, it's either you exchange letters every week or you go trekking up Dragonspine to see him yourself. (There is a better place to die on than that wretched mountain, but I digress.)

His mother caused world destruction and he has a twin brother that is out for blood (Imposterbedo). ...Seriously, what the heck is going on in this family? We need to keep an eye on them like they're fascinating wild animals on National Geographic, for real. If you don't mind crazy in-laws that might commit felonies against you (also looking intently at Alice as I say this, by the way), then you're all good to go! Aha, just watch your back and be safe out there, comrade.

Babysitting Klee comes as a 2-in-1. If you're good with kids, great! If you're not, good luck! You know what they all say; a child's curiosity is only limited by the skies (and a guardian's supervision), so be prepared for when Klee starts tugging you around to go fish blasting or exploring with her. Being with Albedo means you get to see her a lot and she's such an adorable ball of sunshine! But the way she innocently hands you a little bomb like it's a slice of Fisherman's Toast and not a weapon is certainly something to remember, huh? (At this point, this is basically an extra to my previous point about questionable in-laws.)

Eats spiders (not often, but has eaten them and that's concerning). Granted this only applies to a specific type of large spiders that can be found at the roots of Petrified Trees in Domains (in the words of the Chief Alchemist himself), but there will definitely be a time where he goes: "Are you hungry? If I remember correctly, there are still some smoked spiders left from the other day. Fortunately, the temperature here in Dragonspine aids in the preservation method—" Spiders can be cute to some and a nightmare to some, but the fact that he has a whole recipe for it really makes you want to know the how and most importantly, the why. Does he sprinkle parsley on them or some stuff like that, ayo? (at least, if you ever get stuck in a domain one unlucky day, this recipe might help you survive? thanks??)

[ CHILDE ]

❝Oh? I've never been called a dream person before. ...Heh, that sounds new, I like the sound of that!❞

Thinks combat and battles are a better substitute for oxygen. Okay, that may be somewhat of an exaggeration — but it isn't an understatement to say that the thought of challenge rushes the blood into Tartaglia's veins. Not one for the secretive schemes most Harbingers do, this man would even go charging ahead if that guarantees he'll encounter a good fight. Like seriously, if he and a fellow Harbinger are heading to a place where there is a good opponent, you bet Childe is about to speed there first. You could say he is speeding towards uncertain death, essentially.

Might have come home with blood on his cheek once or twice. And what's worse is that this guy probably doesn't even realize it's there. Sorry, he was just too caught up in the moment to properly notice any leftover 'trophies' from his previous fights... Aha, don't worry about it! ("I'm home!" Tartaglia cheers loudly as he, quite literally, throws open the front door to your shared home — only to be greeted by that dumbfounded look on face. "Please tell me that's just juice on your cheek," you frown. He scratches the side of his neck awkwardly, "Uhh. Things didn't go particularly well when I was collecting debts.")

A warrior in the streets, also a malewife who can make you treats. Why does he have that double side for, huh? For other people to swoon over and fall for? No way someone can be a househusband and a good fighter simultaneously. What do you mean he can cook and clean then beat up anyone who threatened you the next? And you're saying he is genuine about it too? I say deception, deception, deception! Sue this fellow for fraud this instant. (This might actually be a green flag in disguise, but you didn't hear that from me.)

No good with saving money. He's stinky rich and most of it might be from the Fatui. You have to wonder whether each Mora he gives goes on the Fatui's tab or something like that... You don't find the idea of owing something to the Fatui fun, but it's so ironic how you're more worried about this than the Eleventh Harbinger is. Welp, at least, you don't have to worry incessantly about saving money now...? ("There's that thing you said you wanted to buy the other day, right? Here you go, honey!" "Tartaglia, why is this Mora pouch heavier than a toddler—")

Has a long list of crimes and felonies that we don't talk about #2. You could definitely argue that Childe might have the least mind-boggling list of crimes amongst the Harbingers all, though. (And does he slay for that? Who knows.)

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

© SEELESTIA, mar 2023. do not repost, plagiarize, translate nor claim as your own.

✰ TAGLIST: @meimeimeirin @hcikazu @tsuk4sa-yug1 @catcze @semi-orangeapple @yuuki4646 @d-a-r-k-s-w-a-n @daisydkj @omgscaramouche @coquettemaiden @lemontum @herdrops @lleoll @xiaosonlybeloved @chiisananingen @irethepotato @ainescribe @blooodyvampy @starlightaura @jihyuniepark @duhsies @maybemiko @lordbugs — [ bolded names are unable to be tagged (check your settings!) + register here to be a part of my taglist! ]

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

PJO Hogwarts AU! Notes below:

- Kronos is Voldemort. Obviously. He was vanquished by Zeus years ago, but is on the rise and can only be defeated by the “Chosen One” (for neither can live while the other survives yadda yadda)

- The “Chosen One” is one of the Big Three’s children—not even just the first to turn 16, just one of them

- The whole point of the AU is people trying to figure out which one out of Percy, Nico, and Jason is the “Chosen One” while all of them are secretly hoping for it to be one of the others

- Death Eaters tracked down and targeted the kids after hearing the prophecy, resulting in Bianca’s death pre-enrolment to Hogwarts. She fended them off while telling Nico to escape 🥲

- Thus, Nico shows up to Hogwarts already having lost faith in the system and edgy and sad asf. But there’s no real reason to blame Percy so they don’t have that complicating their relationship further

- Thalia turned into the Whomping Willow. No idea how or why. She also turns back at some point. No idea how or why. Drops out of school to become an underage Auror? No idea how or why.

- I fully researched Hogwarts house qualities before sorting them. I was so deep into it. Percy’s loyalty speaks for itself. Jason was difficult but I shoved him into Gryffindor. And a friend suggested Nico be in Gryffindor but just be really disgruntled about it, so that’s where he is. He has to deal with the passionate reckless assholes while in denial about being a passionate reckless asshole. (Also Nico & Jason bonding opportunities :D)

- Due to Slytherin being now inhabited practically solely by Hermes kids (who are not all related in this AU), Slytherin has totally lost its reputation as the “evil” house, and now proudly carries the tag of “Prankster House”. They’re like Fred and George Weasley except the pranking is a house-wide phenomenon

- Jason attended Durmstrang where he was held to insanely high standards as a model student/leader. After the Tri-Wizard tournament he decided to transfer to Hogwarts instead (all the Camp Jupiter kids are at Durmstrang.)

- Jason becomes Quidditch captain. Percy is duelling club captain. Percy is a god awful flier and it’s safer for everyone if he never touched a broom. Both constantly try to recruit Nico into their respective extracurriculars.

Some bonus character houses:

Gryffindor: Nico, Jason, Clarisse, Calypso, Grover, Piper, and “the Stoll brothers are in Gryffindor solely due to their lack of fear for consequences”

Hufflepuff: Percy, Will Solace, Meg

Slytherin: Annabeth (fucking fight me on this I dare you) (I’m joking I’m sensitive and I’ll cry) (but I won’t lose bitch square up), Thalia, Luke, Ethan Nakamura, Drew, the whole of Hermes cabin (minus the Stoll brothers)

Ravenclaw: Leo, the whole of Athena cabin (minus Annabeth), probably most of Hephaestus cabin too, I wish there were more specific characters but I cannot think of any rn tbh

(I probably missed some characters but anyway 🤷)

[deceptive-daydreams]

TW: mentions of bad mental health

im imagining eddie being absolutley taken back when he finds out how people have previously treated you resulting in hesitation when being vulnerable with him.

and he's been through some shit, he's not exactly one to be voluntarily vulnerable either but with the tables turned it's like a moment of oh. like you're hiding from him, muddling your own emotions as a means to keep the peace.

he realizes that coming in strong, asking "what's wrong?" almost too oboxiously like he's previously done, only chases you further into your mind, it only insinuates that there are consquences if you were to answer so rather than being met with honesty, it's always "nothing" followed by forced smiles and sucked back tears that he's regrettably brushed off in those moments, trying to keep you comfortable. but while his intention to ease your chaotic mind by simply moving on had no ill intent, he soon recognizes the harm its caused and the pattern he's assisted in creating.

realizes he takes it far too personal when you shut down on those particularily bad days, thinks it's cause of him, only to contribute to the self destruction taking place in your mind when he continuously begs the questions "what's wrong?" "what do you want me to do?" "what can I do?" "come on, tell me what's wrong". he never understood that he was never the issue but he quickly made himself into one by nearly berating and prodding you with his questions. and then one day he sees it. sees the way your eyes go dull when he asks.

sees the front you put on, "everything's okay" while your lip wobbles. he doesn't take it personal this time, there's nothing distracting him from the obvious signs, the symptoms of broken hearted individual struggling to keep up despite the aches and pains that linger within. its a heartbreak he's so familiar with yet seems to be so blind to in others, thinking he's the only one to experience it, not selfishly but hopefully. so he straightens up and silently tells himself to quit all of his bitching because this is bigger than him, it's not because of him. you need him and he's been too insecure to think that maybe words aren't required, not by you anyway. there is no quick fix, no remedy to just stop the pain like popping an ibprofen or slapping on a bandaid, it just is. raw pain and vulnerability that should be allowed to be felt, not cured.

so this time, he recognizes the wall you put up, just like every other time though it was previously ignored. before he can even say anything, he knows you're anticipating his bombarding questions that have no answer. sees the way you tense up, the slight panic in the way your fingers tremble at the prospect of being figured out. except this time he speaks softly, a shake in his voice because he's terrifed to scare you off once again. says "i love you" then gently wraps you up in his arms, provides a barrier between you and the world you're at war with.

holds you on the kitchen floor, face pressed to his chest with a mixture of tears and snot.

runs his fingers down your spine delicately.

whispers "it's okay" when he knows it is in fact not, only hoping you're able to decipher that he means it's okay that you're not okay, it's okay that it's 1AM and while the world is asleep you're both tangled up on top of crumbs and possible neglected coffee stains

apologizes.

because for all those times you've coaxed him through an unwarranted episode, he's been neglecting you at your worst. not on purpose but it's neglect nontheless. and he knows all about it.

sings under his breath when the sobs have stopped wreaking havoc on your body. quiet hums of a familiar song, you are my sunshine.

tucks you into bed, makes you a late night snack cause he knows your appetite fails you in times like these, kisses your forehead and threads his fingers through your hair.

he's not perfect nor has he ever desired being held to such a high standard. but for you he wants to try.

[tangibletechnomancy]

With the WGA and SAG-AFTRA on strike, I want to take this moment to talk about one really important thing that I've alluded to but haven't gone into depth on, and people don't like to hear because of a lot of the noise, but-

We need to also support VFX unionization efforts (everyone's with me so far right...?), and in doing so, acknowledge the labor actually involved in using new technology (not just AI, but whatever the NEXT big breakthrough is too, and the one after that, and the one after that, indefinitely) and credit the people operating it properly-

Aaaand I've lost some people, but hear me out.

Sure, it's easy to type a single prompt and get a result that looks kinda nice. "Kinda nice", however, isn't going to cut it for most productions! It's like photography that way. As ubiquitous as good-quality cell phone cameras are, anyone can just point and click with some very basic understanding of what makes a passable composition and get something that's pleasant on the eyes.

And yet, generally speaking, people aren't grabbing random people with cell phones off the street to shoot movie posters! Because even a layperson can tell the difference between the photo you get when you stop a random stranger on the street and ask them to take a photo of you and your friends together, and the photo you get when a trained professional sets up the actors in a studio, with deliberate lighting, a thorough understanding of what lens(es) to use, and so much more.

Photography is easy. To be able to get a professional quality result? Not so much. Sure, sometimes a total rando who barely knows how to use a camera will luck out and get the shot of a lifetime - but it sure doesn't happen often and you DEFINITELY can't make a whole profession out of hoping for it.

The same goes for AI.

Most singular AI pieces that are high enough quality to get people really excited take hours, and hours, and hours of work and refinement and retrying and tweaking to get right. I mean, go test out a free image generator and pay attention - you might get a lot of results that look fun just by typing in a very silly prompt, but good enough to be a major part of a movie without any alteration? ....maybe one in a million - and then you still probably have to upscale it! And the standard for "nice to look at for a moment" vs. "good enough to be a major part of a professional production" will only get stricter and stricter as things get more saturated and people see Default Midjourney Style or the like as being super boring and amateurish for anything bigger than a literal one-man production, too (which sucks on a tiny level for me personally because I like Default Midjourney Style, but that's not important).

I point this out because bringing this up in the context of unionization helps to kill the entire motivation behind using AI to undercut manual art. The higher-ups want the world to think it's just mindless, super-easy button-pushing that anyone can do, so it's fine to crunch people even HARDER than they already crunch VFX artists or outsource it to people they can pay subminimum wages, right?

It's not. It never is. It never will be. We need to cut it off at the pass before one more studio even fucking tries it.

[ozai-the-bonsai]

Cry for the Moon

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 |

Pairing: Zuko x firebender!reader

Warnings: none

A/N: Fortunately, I had more time this week! We don't have any Zuko in this chapter but I believe he should show up in the next one, as long as I don't end up writing too much ^.^ if you want to be added to the taglist, just let me know!

Taglist: @annonymatic @yoongiesstar @lost-inthe-v0id @lokigodofmyheart @4l3x1s @potato87123 @asciendo @angelruinz @unamused-boss @junieshohoho @yourlivewire

“Ty Lee, could that possibly be you?”

She was standing on her index fingers, upside down; her long, braided hair laid on the grass. Upon seeing Azula and you, Ty Lee broke her headstand – or finger-stand, you weren’t sure how to name that.

“Azula!” Ty Lee spoke with a smile, calling out your name cheerfully as well. She was in a light pink and red circus performer’s outfit with a pink, sleeveless, crop-top and matching pants which were adorned with red designs. Her red wristbands matched her pink headpiece – she looked just like she used to describe her aura.

After breaking the stance, Ty Lee first span around in a graceful twirl and bowed down before Azula. Then, she embraced the Princess. “It is so good to see you both!” She said and hugged you as well.

You had a small smile on your face, you had always enjoyed hanging out with Ty Lee – perhaps she was one of the scarce people you had known to be pure of heart. “You look excellent.”

“Please, don’t let us interrupt your…” Azula raised an eyebrow in wonder as she spoke. “Whatever it is you were doing.”

Ty Lee was still smiling as she did a back flip and ended up lying on her chest, with one leg stretched out over her head and the other straight up to the sky.

Azula glanced around with an unpleasant expression on her face, which she didn’t even bother to hide. “Tell me, what is the daughter of a nobleman doing here?” She asked, looking back at Ty Lee. “Certainly our parents didn’t send us to the Royal Fire Academy for Girls to end up in… places like this.”

Her tone was quite condescending but you could understand why she thought the way she did. Just like Azula, you too believed one had to take advantage of the opportunities the life offered. In your case, you were born as the only child of a noble family, who were the Fire Lord’s foremost advisors. Due to your family’s position and noble title, you were given such opportunities that most people couldn’t even dream of. You wanted to keep up this high life standard – even surpass what your parents had achieved – which was why you had been training to become a successful diplomat during the past years.

Azula was even better than you at taking every advantage and opportunity life had to offer – being born a Princess had enormous perks, of course, but it also came with enormous responsibilities. Azula had always balanced them both in a perfect way, you could only admire her.

Mai, too, knew how to enjoy the noble title her family carried but compared to yours, her family had adopted a stricter upbringing. Many times, when your families were together during dinner or during the weekend, she wasn’t allowed to express her opinions about various topics whereas your family always greatly valued yours. As a result, Mai had learnt to behave in the best way to please her parents.

Even though you two grew up together, her long-lasting crush on Zuko had, at some point, ruined your friendship with Mai. You didn’t really hate Mai, but it had been quite some time since you carried warm feelings towards her. You tended to ignore her as best as you could to avoid troubling Azula for you knew how upset she had become after your falling out with Mai because of her stupid brother.

Ty Lee, on the other hand, had never really been like the three of you. Sometimes, you felt like she didn’t even care about the noble title her family carried. Instead of making use of the opportunities presented to her on a golden plate, she had decided to follow her passions – which made you envy her courage from time to time, but you kept these thoughts solely to yourself.

The sound of a platypus bear made you come back to the present moment, you shook yourself forcefully and looked at the source of the noise. Three men were trying to move a platypus bear and it was, of course, resisting. The platypus bear then moved up to reveal the egg it had laid.

With a look of disgust on her face, Azula turned her amber eyes to Ty Lee, grinning. “I have a proposition for you.” Ty Lee carried a wondering gaze in her brown-grey eyes. “We are hunting a traitor. You remember my old fuddy-duddy uncle, don’t you?”

Ty Lee nodded as she rested both her feet on her head. “Oh, yeah. He was so funny!”

You almost raised an eyebrow. What about all the tea?

“I would be honoured if you would join me on my mission.” Azula spoke with a confident tone.

Suddenly, Ty Lee’s lovely energy disappeared, leaving its place to anxiety and nervousness. “Oh… I… uh… would love to.” She stood up in a fluid, elegant movement. “But the truth is, I’m really happy here. I mean, my aura has never been pinker!”

This time, you did raise an eyebrow at Ty Lee. Interesting… I don’t remember seeing Ty Lee refuse any kind of offer coming from Azula’s side.

Azula raised up her hand, cutting Ty Lee off in mid-speech. “I’ll take your word for it. Well, I wouldn’t want you to give up the life you love just to please me.”

Even a fool had to take the hint from the Princess’ tone that she was being dangerously sarcastic – if Azula came to anyone with an offer, it was an order dressed as an offer. It seems that the time she has spent away from us made Ty Lee forget some things. Very important things.

“Thank you, Azula!” Ty Lee bowed in respect, only to continue stretching. Feeling Azula’s hand on your upper arm, you turned to look at her. She motioned you with her head to follow her.

“Of course, before leaving,” Azula talked as you two walked away. “We’re going to catch your show.”

Feeling the Princess gently nudge you with her elbow, you added. “I am sure it is going to be delightful!”

Quickly, you glanced over your shoulder at Ty Lee – she seemed somehow panicked and… worried?

“Uh… yeah, sure… of course.” Ty Lee half stuttered, half muttered the words.

You lowered your voice so that only Azula would be able to hear you. “What is going on in your mind?” You asked. “And why are we staying for the show? I don’t like circuses!”

Azula waved her hand in the air in a casual way. “Relax, this is not going to be like the circuses you have seen before.” The edge of Azula’s lips curled upwards dangerously. “I am going to make Ty Lee quit and help me in my mission.”

You stopped walking with an alarmed expression on your face, causing Azula to stop as well. “Azula, darling, please don’t hurt Ty Lee.” You spoke with a caring but at the same time worried tone. “She hasn’t done anything to deserve your wrath.”

“Don’t you trust me?” Azula asked as she held you from your wrist. “Anything aside, I need Ty Lee to be on our side – I am simply going to scare her.”

[Time Skip]

“Is this what you call simply scaring?!” You whisper yelled at Azula as the circus owner released all the exotic animals they had. Oh, and the safety net which was supposed to catch Ty Lee in case of an accident was set on fire. “Princess Azula, you are going too far.”

The way Ty Lee sweated could be even seen from where you sat as she gave her best to keep balancing herself above the flames on one hand.

Azula frowned as she looked at you. “Could you have come up with a better plan?” She asked furiously. “If yes, then do tell me!”

You took a deep breath to calm yourself down, but it was quite hard with the animal noises and the burnt rope smell. “Sweetheart, I can understand why you use fear to keep Ty Lee attached to your will but threatening her with her life is only going to cause her to turn against you with the first opportunity she gets.”

Azula shook her head in a hysterical manner, causing the front pieces of her hair to bounce. “No, she wouldn’t do that. She couldn’t. She knows the consequences.” She said but it felt more like she was trying to reassure herself instead of opposing you. “Everyone knows the consequences of betraying me. No one can dare betray me!”

Gently, you placed your hand on top of Azula’s, catching her off guard. The Princess turned her amber eyes to you, which carried fury, denial, and confusion at the same time. “Azula, I know you trust me even though you don’t agree with me on this matter here.” You waited for her to maybe object, maybe agree to your words but Azula instead kept looking at you while Ty Lee fought literally for her life on the robe. “I believe you have planted enough fear in poor Ty Lee’s heart – please, call off the show. I… I am afraid that you are going to lose her at some point.”

“Oh, please, it is not like she is going to fall and…”

You interrupted Azula. “I didn’t mean it like that.” You lowered your voice. “I meant as a friend.”

It took quite a while for Azula to reflect on your words but at the end, she decided to put a stop to the nonsense going on in the circus tent.

With a sincere small on your lips, you whispered to your best friend. “Thank you, Azula.”

The Princess simply shrugged, of course she was not going to admit going too far – to be honest, you also didn’t want her to. You didn’t intend to change the way Azula was, her cruelty was an integral part of her personality, you simply wanted her to have at least one person in her life that truly cared about her wellbeing and wasn’t afraid of telling her when she was wrong.

No one was brave enough to do that.

After the chaos was over, Azula and you went to visit Ty Lee in her dressing room. She had already changed into her regular clothes – she had been wearing a white costume during the show – but the tiara she wore on her forehead, which resembled a flame, was still on.

You two stood behind Ty Lee as she sat at her dressing table, looking through the mirror. “What an exquisite performance!” Azula spoke with an enthusiastic tone. “I can’t wait to see how you’ll top yourself tomorrow.”

Even though you knew very well that she was bluffing, you still felt a little bit uneasy at the thought of this torture going on for several days. Oh, poor Ty Lee.

Ty Lee smiled at the reflections of Azula and you in the mirror. “I’m sorry Azula, but unfortunately there won’t be a show tomorrow.”

“Really?” You asked, trying to sound rather disappoint than relieved.

“The universe,” Ty Lee explained as she hung up her tiara, “has given me strong hints that it is time for a career change.” She stood up and turned around to face you two. “I want to join you on your mission.”

A satisfied expression formed on Azula’s face. “I am so glad you have decided to change your mind! Tomorrow, we are going to pay a visit to Mai before finally tracking down our targets.”

Ty Lee’s face lightened up with the thought of seeing Mai. “Oh, it has been so long since I have seen her!” She spoke with a cheerful tone. “This going to be like a little girls’ trip.”

You chuckled at her words. “But instead of chilling at the beach, we will be hunting down fugitives.”

Azula smirked as she added. “And possibly the Avatar himself.” She turned back to leave Ty Lee’s dressing room. “Are you coming?”

You nodded. “Yeah, just give me a second to ask Ty Lee what she uses for hair – it looks absolutely gorgeous!” Azula rolled her eyes at you and left the tent, leaving you alone with Ty Lee.

“I actually use a simple…” Ty Lee began to explain her hair routine but you weren’t really interested in it, you had to lie to get Azula to give you two some privacy. When you were sure that she was out of earshot, you interrupted Ty Lee.

“Listen, I needed a private moment with you.” You kept your voice exceptionally low not to attract any unwanted attention. Ty Lee raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner. “Please, please forgive Azula for what she did today. I know she has gone too far.”

Ty Lee’s eyes widened with shock but she didn’t say a word, sorrow was visible on her face.

You took a deep breath. “I know how much you mean to her, Ty Lee and I would hate to see the same thing that happened to Mai and I happen to you and Azula as well.”

“But yours was different… It was because of Zuko!”

“You know exactly what I mean, Ty Lee.” Your voice tended to get a little more demanding, so you took a moment to adjust your attitude. “I wanted to ask you to give Azula this one chance during this mission, then I promise to talk her into letting you freely do whatever you want with your life.” A small smile formed on your face. “I don’t think the mission will be taking much time anyways.”

Ty Lee seemed to be lost deep inside her ocean of thoughts but at the end, she nodded with a sincere smile. “Thank you,” she said with a warm tone. “Azula is lucky to have you by her side.”

You turned back to leave the tent as you whispered more to yourself. “I know.”

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi, Raven! I just wanted to ask if it's very pressuring to be seen as like this type of fandom authority/big figure in the twst fandom? Which you're not, and I'm aware of it but I can't help but think and notice that a lot of people generally view you and your blog in that manner. I hope that hasn't soured your enjoyment in the fandom btw if it is the case, it can be daunting to be kind of upheld to a standard and responsibility you didn't ask for. But I hope you're still having fun and enjoying yourself because that's what fandom really is about at its core. Hope you have a good day!! 💖

Well 💦 it’s stressful, yes. but only when I’m made cognizant of that. Typically I don’t think of myself as being in that position, but I’m reminded of it when I receive the occasional ask that opens or closes their question/comment with really intense praise.

Thankfully, I have the luxury of being selective about which asks I reply to, but sometimes it can be as simple as skimming an ask that brings about a churning dread or cognitive dissonance in my stomach. I take a lot of time to formulate what I hope are thoughtful responses in part because I feel like I have some degree of responsibility for those who seem to place so much stock in what I say… It makes me anxious about all the potential ways it could go wrong. Unclear wording/tone misconstruing the intended message, people weaponizing my posts to justify their own takes, arguments breaking out, etc. Then that leads into worries about not deserving this position (ayy, love imposter syndrome/j) and it becomes a cycle that’s hard to break.

If people want to view me as some higher authority or big figure, then there’s only so much I can do to stop them. I can tell others all I want that I don’t like being put on such a high pedestal all I like, but it would do very little to change their mindsets. The best I can hope for is reminding them of where my boundaries lie when people start to act too attached to me. Like, you definitely should not be soliciting free favors, seeking validation, asking for life advice, and/or traumadumping to me, a complete internet stranger. (These have all happened before.) Remember, me being friendly ≠ being friends with me.

I’ve never been someone who reacts well to parasocialism or celebrity culture (something which I highlight in this post). I like to compartmentalize, separate reality from fandom, keep to myself and my own lane, be a private person… so it’s unnerving for me to suddenly be the recipient of parasocial behaviors. Again, I must stress that parasocialism is, in of itself, NOT a bad thing. It can, however, quickly snowball into emotional dependency or a falsified sense of intimacy. That’s why I keep stressing—especially recently—that I have to draw the line and make my boundaries clear.

Now, that isn’t to say that all of my parasocial experiences have been negative ones. Far from it! I’ve had the honor of meeting and getting to know many cool individuals through my activity in this fandom. (If you’re reading this, you know who you are 🫵) I’ve been able to participate in numerous group projects and activities alongside those people. I’ve gotten fan art and interesting asks from so many Twsties that are just as excited about my OC or new story content as I am. I’ve received kind words when I really needed them or when I least expected it. I will forever be grateful for that ^^ and I’d still say that the majority of my time in the TWST fandom has been chill and fun.

In my experience, I’ve seen both the highs and lows of fandom as the result of parasocialism. I of course evaluate them on a case-by-case basis, but what I want to point out is that I do not want overfamiliarity or people overstepping, especially if I have never spoken with you one-on-one off-Anon before 💦 I think that’s reasonable for me to request.

[outisgivingpac]

PAC: Little things you can do to improve your everyday life

Because there are days when simply existing feels like an extreme sport, this PAC shall give you some mundane advice to make your day a little bit easier 🌱☔✨

Check out my pinned post for my masterlist and personal readings ❤️

🐸Pick a pile/image you feel most drawn to🐸

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Pile 1: Queen of Pentacles reversed, the Empress reversed, The High Priestess

Dear Pile 1, there're a lot to unpack here so I hope you would stay with me till the end. Firstly, I can feel your fatigue streaming through, as it seems like you're buried under all kind of house chores and errands. What you can really use right now is a helping hand, not just someone who would nod sympathically to your struggle. Many of you could just be living alone, but some might share the place with someone who have different living standards as yourself. Either case, you could cut yourself some slack by asking for help, or simply letting others help you. On a side note, you might not have been eating properly as of late. Either you eat too little, or only fuel yourself with the kind of food that has little nutritional value. Though, it appears you're fully aware of all these problems, and just have to listen to your body more. You know better than anyone when you need to take a break, when to take a sip of water, or what you crave. So, yes, you should trust yourself on that as often as possible, rather than deeming it evil whisper your inner goblin lol

Pile 2: 6 of Cups, 7 of Pentacles, 9 of Wands

As it seems, people of this pile need a lot of activities and/or stimulations during a day to feel good in general. At the same time, idleness will weight you down like a plague. Without busying yourself with something that can be considered productive throughout the day, you tend to spiral hard in your head and become restless at night. This is often the case on those days when you don't have to go out for school or work. Aren't you a workaholic high-achiever with reasonable expectations for anyone but yourself? You're much encouraged to not take your day-off for granted, spending it worrying about work. Maybe you can pick up a hobby like handcraft (f.e. knitting, origami ect.), playing an instrument or engaging in certain outdoor sports. I know it could be much when you're low on energy, so it's important to find out something you truly enjoy to keep you (or your mind) active (maybe something you can do even when lying on bed?). The progress you make with your personal project will keep you in a more positive mindset. Lastly, some of you totally should keep your daily caffeine intake in check 👀

Pile 3: 7 of Pentacles reversed, 2 of Cups, Temperance

For Pile 3, I can tell you guys are goal-oriented people, who could get impatient when your effort are not met with immediate results. The lack of progress or productivity, whether it comes from your side or other party, could frustrate you greatly and taint your day in a sullen mood. To make your life a little bit easier, it's important to turn a mental switch when you're off work. Set your priority and boundary clear, knowing that you have tried to do the most you can with the cards you're served. There's always another day to continue or try again. Besides, if you have the "all or nothing" mentality, having compromises and taking the middle road will cut you some slack. As the world is not black or white, and it's completely normal to have inconsistency in your energy level. If you have a significant other, a close friend or family member, spending quality time with them is like swallowing a health potion. Oftentimes, they act like your personally cheerleader, hyping you up and helping you feel like your effort is seen, waaayyy before it is recognized by practical results. But hey, you can start giving it to yourself, too! Start to talk about/to yourself more kindly, like you would for someone you love.

[hbmmaster]

would you ever consider making a "how many Sonic games are there?" or would it be too redundant?

I think it's something that should exist but I don't think I should make it. I don't have nearly as deep of a connection with the sonic games as I do with the mario games, and as such I don't have strong opinions on the classifications of any of its edge cases.

there also isn't a super mario wiki quality resource* I could rely on for a well-curated list of things sonic experts theoretically might classify as being mainline sonic titles, so even if I set my own lack of experience aside and just did it as an academic exercise, I'm not confident I'd even be able to generate a survey for sonic fans that sufficiently covers a sensibly sized range of different analyses sonic fans might use.

*this applies to literally every fanbase that isn't mario. the super mario wiki has an unusually high standard of quality.

the other potential issue is that it would be considerably harder for me to analyze the data from a survey about what sonic games are mainline, which again comes from my relative lack of experience with the series. if you were to tell me that more people on average consider Shadow The Hedgehog to be a mainline sonic game than Sonic Advance 2, I would have no intuition for how much sense that makes as a thing to say. I'd be able to come up with guesses for why it might be true if it's true, but I'd almost certainly be missing some crucial context that only someone who's autistic about sonic in the way I am about mario would be able to recognize.

so, yes, I think this is a good idea for a video, and if anyone else wants to make it I'd love to see the final result, but it's not something I feel qualified to take on myself.

[typellblog]

Shinobu Time - An Analysis

This arc is difficult to talk about because it’s hard to extricate it from the context of Second Season more broadly and Mayoi Jiangshi more specifically - so much so that it’s really more focused on Mayoi than the titular Shinobu. But I don’t think this works unless we take them both, together, as telling the story of these two girls (and maybe some other characters as well).

In Mayoi Jiangshi, Koyomi and Shinobu are catapulted to 10 years in the past. It’s a result of his desire to save Mayoi, but being a considerate person, he thinks about what he can do for his other friends. Can he rescue Hitagi’s family from a cult? Can he give Tsubasa more stable living conditions? No, he can’t. These issues are too big, too complex, for him to solve as just a random high-schooler, regardless of how early he gets in on it. Much the same for Suruga, Nadeko, and anyone else he knows. Except for one Hachikuji Mayoi, whose single unlucky accident seems eminently correctable. 

It makes me think. What exactly is the difference between Mayoi and these other characters? I suppose it comes back to Meme’s old phrase - oddities arise for a reason. The circumstances that the other characters grew up in resulted in a condition where they almost had no choice but to call on oddities to help with their problems. 

You could say that Mayoi’s parents divorce is the reason for what happened to her, but there’s no particular reason why she had to be hit by a car, why she had to be unable to see her mother on Mother’s Day. After all, that wasn’t the effect of an oddity. It was the origin story of one. 

In a way, Mayoi’s situation feels fundamentally unfair. A character like Tsubasa, Nadeko, even Numachi Rouka - they become oddities because on some level, they want to be. That’s how they see themselves. It’s not good for them, but it does something, you can see why it happens. Hachikuji, though, isn’t a person that turned into an oddity. For all intents and purposes, she’s a supernatural entity from the start. Even as it causes her to suffer as a person does. 

The difference between Mayoi and other characters - this is also the topic of a discussion between Koyomi and Ononoki Yotsugi. Koyomi has continued to live, even after being made undead, while Ononoki was reborn, becoming a new person out of the corpse of the old. Mayoi does neither, simply remaining in place. The point of such continued existence is what Ononoki wants to know. She questions the meaning of her own life. Surely life arises because of a strong desire. Surely, these undead oddities persist for a reason. 

We might say that the reason for Ononoki is the desire of the people who raised her from the dead. We might say that for Koyomi, it’s his relationship with Shinobu. But thinking of it from this perspective, Hachikuji Mayoi’s reason for existing must be by far the simplest to answer.

After all, it’s a standard element for ghosts that they persist because of an unfulfilled regret. 

Of course Mayoi didn’t want to become an oddity, didn’t want to become the Lost Cow, but she did want to meet her mother again. She did want to persist after death. In this sense, her fate is really quite excessively merciful. Fair to the point of indulgence. There’s no reason for her being hit by a truck, but there’s a reason for her becoming an oddity. And there really is a good chance that fate could be averted by simply bringing her to her mother’s house on a day 10 years ago. 

The real question here is why she chooses to persist after she’s no longer lost. Ononoki wants to know if she’s happy with the current state of affairs. That’s something that Koyomi wants to know too, if there’s anything he can do for her, but he never asks. It’s the unspoken part of their relationship. 

I want to say that Mayoi Jiangshi, as a whole, is about speaking aloud these unspoken truths, but it applies much more heavily to Shinobu than it does to Mayoi. 

Shinobu would have destroyed the world had Koyomi not found her in Tsubasa Cat. This is left unspoken. Koyomi didn’t want to insensitively interrogate her motives during her silent period, knowing that he’d already imposed on her enough for a lifetime. Shinobu didn’t want to share, didn’t want to be seen as more petty and selfish than she already is. 

The destroyed world is a shock to both of them, but nothing more than that. It’s not a challenge, or a mystery to solve. The problem, and its solution, are both inevitable consequences of the kind of person that Shinobu is. She confronts herself, and in doing so, much that she would leave unspoken is said aloud. That she only needed to open her heart to Koyomi a little more. That she doesn’t know how she could have. It’s needless to say, it goes without saying, it was left unspoken until now, but a Shinobu who couldn’t connect with Koyomi - might as well be dead. 

The jiangshi, a form of zombie with a more solid feeling to them that calls to mind the concept of rigor mortis: being set in one’s state at the moment of death. The Shinobu of this world was dead for months, and yet unable to die. But Hachikuji Mayoi herself - not continuing to live, not being reborn, is she not a kind of jiangshi herself, persisting outside of her allotted time without any meaning or purpose?

This is a question Koyomi couldn’t bring himself to ask her, but he gets an answer by the end of the arc. He sees how much the Mayoi of the other timeline was changed thanks to his influence, and, returning to his own, he sees how his influence has also affected this Mayoi. How, because of him, she’s started enjoying being a ghost. Because of him, she wanted to stick around even after fulfilling her original goal.

A real apocalypse to Koyomi is the absence of other people, and that too is the true death of these undead oddities. Neither Mayoi nor Shinobu can live a worthwhile life, where they’re capable of changing and changing others in turn, without making a friend first.

However, in the pursuit of this goal, the two of them still have things left unaddressed - for Shinobu, in the past, and for Mayoi, in the future. Thus we move on to Shinobu Time. 

The ‘time’ in the title is oddly reminiscent of the time travel plot Shinobu just got involved in, and the similarities don’t stop there. In both, her carelessness leads to widespread loss of life, the loss of her human connections. In both, she has to leap far into the air to avoid the consequences of her actions. Time is the thing Shinobu possesses most abundantly, stretching her life both far backwards and infinitely forwards, and the more we learn about her the more we learn this is not a boon at all. 

We’re told that after enough time in one place, her nature as a vampire will draw negative energy to an area and cause masses of oddities to arrive, spelling destruction for the residents. I like to think of this as a smaller-scale reminder of the nature of vampirism - you cannot have mortal friends, they will inevitably perish with the passing of time. You, yourself have more time than you know what to do with, but it’s not a kind of time that can be shared. It can’t be used to build anything. 

Which is why the incident where she was worshiped as a god is so tragic. Why did she continue giving the people of the area rain even after the first accidental miracle? Why did she do nothing to dispel their impression of her as a divine being, even by accident? Why didn’t she leave as soon as she realized they had no legends of vampirism, as she muses later? I mean, she tries to play it off as being careless, arrogant, indifferent, but there are enough hints that we’re not seeing everything here. If anything, the question is why she wouldn’t want to stay in a place where people like her, and she can help them instead of hurting?

Time is the curse of vampires, and the darkness slips naturally into that role when it demands an actor. After enough time, enough indifference, people start disappearing. Because there’s no way a vampire can get away with having a positive relationship with humanity. 

It’s simply impossible. Shinobu was doomed from the start. Is what I want to say, because I like the tragedy of it, but in reality there is a very simple way out. Just become a god for real. Don’t tell me it’s impossible, this is Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade in her prime, it would have been as simple as willing it. As wanting it. As admitting it to herself. 

But she doesn’t, because the all-mighty vampire isn’t willing to admit that she needs something from other people that can’t be taken by force. She wants only that which can be given without her asking, and what isn’t given she watches go up in flames just out of her reach, not moving a finger. Is that not what caused the whole mess in Mayoi Jiangshi? It really puts into context, then, the opening scene of the Kizumonogatari movies, where she moves to drag Koyomi out of the sun. The desperation she must have felt, begging for help when she first meets him on the side of the road. 

Time is the curse of vampires, because it at once broadens your perspective and narrows it. We don’t hear this story before this arc, Shinobu feels no need to tell it, because she forgot. The whole incident made her feel bad, so she shoved it to the back of her mind, let the endless waves of time wash over it until it was gone, and carried on as she had been. Or so she claims, anyway. I think the way she treats Koyomi after the fate of her first kin tells a different story. 

Back to Mayoi, though. The tale told by Shinobu isn’t the only ‘time’ in this story, and the darkness slots neatly into the present day as well. Mayoi, also, is cursed by time. Eleven years of being lost and getting others lost is not time well spent. For Mayoi, too, as soon as her natural curse is dissipated, the darkness arrives to plug the gap. For Mayoi, too, there is a limit, an allotted amount of time that she can spend in the company of others. 

As Izuko puts it, they’re both liars. Shinobu lied by omission, failing to inform the villagers of her vampiric nature, posing as a god without genuinely fulfilling the role of one. Her crime was indifference, or a deliberate facade of such. She made no attempt to communicate with others, and as a result they never got to know her. Unspoken truths, left on the table forever. 

Mayoi, though - Koyomi denies quite flatly that she ever lied to him. He knows she doesn’t want to be a liar, doesn’t want to act rude to passers-by in order to put them off. So Izuko makes the accusation lying to herself. Making Mayoi herself the victim of the crime, because in doing her best to avoid causing trouble for others, she let herself suffer silently. She, too, has left truths unspoken, never clarifies the nature of her relationship with Koyomi, the nature of the gag routines they always do, the nature of her existence, what she really wants. 

Time can solve the vast majority of people’s problems, Numachi Rouka says in Hanamonogatari, and throughout Second Season we see characters put this advice into action by running away. Kanbaru’s aimless sprinting, Shinobu’s mighty vertical leaps, Nadeko’s deflection and looking aside - they’re all examples of people trying to avoid confronting their troubles. Trying to get lost. I’ll get lost with you forever, Koyomi says to Mayoi, and he’s not just talking about an unspecified location. He’s talking about losing his entire life, failing to confront the things & people he really ought to. 

Mayoi, on the contrary, doesn’t try to run away in the slightest. She doesn’t wait for the darkness to catch her, she goes out on her own terms and in her own time. In doing so she drops the shield of banter and irony she and Koyomi have used to make their relationship and feelings for each other ambiguous this whole time. He knows she’s been biting her tongue on purpose, but before now that was left as an unspoken truth. In a similar way, even Koyomi’s aggressive lecherousness towards her tells you something about their relationship. He does, in reality, experience desire for her, but exaggerates so much in the expression of it that it comes off as more of a gag than anything, which perversely becomes more comfortable for Mayoi. She can simply brush it off as a regular routine while continuing to scorn him as a lolicon.

An actual, genuine kiss is the exact opposite of his indiscriminate licking, and it comes along with an actual, genuine confession, albeit delivered in the past tense. Perhaps the only situation where she could have brought herself to say it. 

After all, unlike Shinobu, there’s no way out. Mayoi is doomed from the start, by nature of being already dead. Unlike a vampire, ghosts don’t truly continue living after death, can’t actually change, especially not into a god of all things, that would be ridiculous-

Dear reader, I have watched this series before. As much as it’s in my nature to over-dramatize the tragedy of this arc, it seems more fitting to leave it on a hopeful note. Because Hachikuji Mayoi, in her final moments, did stop lying to herself. She stopped trying so hard to remain a ghost, a being that can’t change, and instead reached for something new - an unfulfilled regret different from the one that originally extended her existence. 

I think in a fundamentally fair world it makes sense that would leave room for her to be saved. 

[gabessquishytum]

Okay someone somewhere said ballet dancer hob and rewrote my brain chemistry.

So. Ballet director dream was once the absolute best in the world but he had a violent feud with a cold and demanding director named Burgess. During one practice Burgess was yelling and screaming at Dream for being useless (he hoped by hiring Dream, his legendary sister Death would come dance for the London ballet too. It didn’t work and he is bitter about it now). And it turns into a fight and Burgess hits Dream in the knee with his cane, injuring it so badly it ruins his career. (His mistake. In revenge, Dream launches a hostile takeover and ousts the asshole.)

Now Dream is the cold and demanding director of the London ballet. And for ten years (time skip because of silver fox dream supremacy) he builds himself up into an absolute legend. Gault is the prime ballerina because I say so. The Corinthian took over Dream’s role as the other star for a while but eventually he wouldn’t take direction and is also sort of a scummy person so they have a massive falling out and he quits.

Without the Corinthian, people say Dream’s shows have lost their spark. He gets colder and more difficult and demanding as a result. Everyone is on the brink of quitting.

Death is now a director too and she promises Dream that she knows the perfect replacement who will breathe new life into his company.

And she sends him Hob.

Hob is the exact opposite of Dream. He went to school on scholarship. He never even saw a ballet until he was 16. He started late but he’s making up for it with the sheer joy he brings to his dancing. He fucking loves it. There’s something loose and free in his dancing that’s so opposite from Dream’s typical technically perfect but brutally emotional style.

Dream bets Death that Hob will quit within a month. Hob is always showing up smiling and joking around and distracting others. Dream is hard on him as he is hard on everyone. And yet. Hob doesn’t quit.

There’s something about the way he throws himself into the dance that is unshakeable.

Dream can’t help but wonder when he lost that kind of joy. He is very quickly captivated by him. It is always this way. Dream fell for Calliope’s dancing before they ever spoke, those many years ago.

One night, Dream catches Hob dancing late on the stage when everyone else has left, practicing a section Dream criticized him harshly for. It is hard not to overcorrect and be too harsh on Hob. Dream knows eventually it will drive Hob away. So for now he stays in the shadows and watches, his heart pounding against his ribs.

When he’s done, Hob looks right at Dream and asks if that was any better.

Dream wasn’t aware Hob had known he was being watched, but he climbs up onto the stage with him. He tells Hob he is improving. But Dream has extremely high standards and it takes more than passion to survive in this world.

Hob just smiles at him and starts his cool down stretches. “I don’t know. I think you could use a little passion.” He‘s flushed and Dream…can’t quite look away.

“I want to impress you. I want to improve,” Hob tells him. “I’ll do whatever you ask.”

Dream carefully doesn’t examine his words closely. Hob…can’t be imagining what Dream is. He doesn’t know what things Dream might ask for.

“I am not known for my kindness,” Dream says stiffly. “More experienced dancers than you have quit rather than work for me.”

Hob rises to his feet. “You can’t scare me off. I want this,” he insists. “I want to be here.”

Dream is reluctantly impressed. But he is also picturing Hob on his knees in Dream’s silk sheets and he doesn’t know how to stop. “I can be…punishing,” he warns, unwisely worded.

Hob is beautiful and determined in the stage lights. “Punish me,” he dares him.

Oh I LOVE a ballet au!! There’s so much drama here, I love it. Love the idea of dancer Hob, imagine the Billy Elliot vibes!!! Or maybe he doesn’t start dancing until he’s a teenager. Either way he’s the most lively, exciting dancer of his generation and he has so much JOY when it comes to ballet. He’s rough and uncouth at times but the moment he starts dancing he just becomes the most beautiful thing in the room. Death has nurtured him and given him a wonderful grasp of technique, but she knows that in order to become the greatest dancer he can be, Hob needs to go to Dream.

The thing about Hob is, he loves ballet. Loves it in a way that simply can’t be faked. And Dream’s heart clenches each time he sees Hob because he used to be like that! He used to love ballet more than anything in the world. Where has that love gone, and when did he get so angry and cold? It’s not something that Dream wants to dwell on, but watching Hob makes him feel things he hasn’t felt in a decade.

Watching Hob also makes him horny, but that's another thing that he's not ready to unpack.

Imagine Hob practicing at the barre. Repeating over and over, the same exercises, the same positions that Dream has drilled into him. He sees Dream watching him in the mirror and his eyes just light up! He works even harder, enjoying the attention, enjoying the fact that he KNOWS that Dream is going to find something to pick up on.

Imagine Dream stalking up to Hob and just pouncing. Pressing him against the mirror and kissing him desperately. Hob’s fingers stroke Dream’s silver streaked temples and his mouth moves just as beautifully as his body does when he's dancing.

And when Dream pulls back he's like "your tendu is sloppy, do it again." And Hob can't help but grin <3

[irkendogma]

tak is the main antagonist for this crossover fic im writing and due to the lack of canon content beyond literally that one episode and some of etf, sometimes i worry im not doing her any justice or it’s too ooc. what do you think would be the best way to write tak in your opinion? (if you happen to have any advice on the matter. just wondering! byeeee💃)

i'm genuinely so relieved at the specification of "in your opinion" because i have such a strange long-lasting attachment to tak that i think i would second-guess my thoughts on her in an objective vacuum to the point of just saying "she should be purple". but as it is i now have the freedom to go stupid crazy about it

i think there's a number of crucial elements to tak, but i think the one that people miss most in writing her is that she isn't just meant to be a more competent counterpart to zim - she's a direct parallel in terms of her ego, motivation, and backstory (the latter particularly as a result of treatment by irken society)

like zim, tak has an enormous ego and an audacity that places herself above anyone else, even the empire itself (see: her custom invader insignia. that's like drawing a crucifix but substituting yourself for jesus after being refused by the church), and like zim, in spite of her disregard for the empire's rulings she's striving for recognition both by it and within it (to quote her: "the plan i have in store for this nasty rock will so impress the tallest that they'll have no choice but to make me an invader"). the same way zim "quit being banished", tak "escaped" from the janitorial squad she was placed under as a stopgap job until the next elite test in seventy years

i've seen some people write her as tall, but in my opinion her being only very, very slightly taller than zim is not just a stylistic choice but an essential part of her character that draws her backstory together: technically that janitorial job wasn't even a punishment, it was just deemed the most suitable position for her in the absence of official imperial proof that she was capable of anything "better" or "higher" that would've been afforded to a taller more easily

that she made it so far in the elite course at all in spite of her height gives context and precedent to the competence and sheer refusal to admit defeat she exhibits in her attempt to destroy earth, a planet she initially believes is already undergoing an officially-sanctioned invasion judging from how bitterly she tells zim about what should've been "rightfully hers", down to specifically mentioning the great assigning - loops back to her audacity, in that she has zimlike degrees of ego regardless of how hard the circumstances logistically are aligned to stomp her back down (see again her quote where she confidently states her plan to hijack an official invasion will impress the tallest to the point they won't mind her flagrantly flaunting the rules). she would've spent so much of her life striving to meet her own exceedingly high expectations, not the exceedingly low ones assumed of someone her height, that this likely isn't far from her standard procedure of "show them i can do it better than the rules say"

what sets her apart from zim, i think, is in how much she's allowed herself to let those miserable expectations get to her and leave her pettier, more vindictive, less grandstanding speeches like zim than showing off everything she's capable of as often as possible, no matter how necessary (ALL the stupid parkour she does for no reason) - which i think is admittedly less her fault than partially being the result of her having actually experienced her confidence failing her when the entire future she'd set up for herself was pulled out from underneath her

unlike zim, who experiences failure regularly but never has it truly sink in, tak had the entirety of her progress wiped off the board in a single moment as a result of circumstances entirely beyond her control: i think a large part of the reason she resents zim so deeply and sincerely isn't solely because of the practical consequences of her missing her test (though it is in no way insignificant to it) but because he was the one who broke her streak - he was the one who made her brutally aware that no matter how she built herself up, no matter what proof she offered, she could still fail and be crushed into exactly the nobody she was expected to be

and she just cannot abide that, no matter what, because even if the memory of helplessness and humiliation will never go away (not that she'd acknowledge it wouldn't), if she can make him hurt the same way maybe that will give back to her some of the power and control over her life and her identity that she lost in losing her potential status as a real, sanctioned invader

also, i do think she should be purple. she seems to have a great attachment to aesthetics and individual style, given her custom pseudo-elite uniform (which we see her wearing even in training, on her test day), the fact she designed and programmed her hologram specifically to have the distinguishing marking of a beauty spot in the same place she has one on her actual face, and her penchant for making nearly every damn piece of her tech purple some way (minus mimi, who while being her own bootleg SIR unit still follows the same red color scheme as a functional one) - even the cockpit of the spittle runner she pilots is initially purple before it's ejected as an escape pod, and the magma pump's interior looks like this:

girl likes giving things her own little touches whether that's in terms of her trademark color, her near-blasphemous custom imperial logo, or her doing a tactical slide between bars of a railing instead of just stepping normally onto the floor

[yumedoca]

Non-Urusei Yatsura fans, which of these IS NOT an actual character? (Answers)

The poll is over and thanks to all who voted since it's pretty fun to see how UY characters may seem from an outsider's POV! And since many were curious, here are the answers for the poll. The characters are listed in no particular order, except for the last who will be the fake one so if you just want the actual answer, just scroll down to the end; and since the poll was aimed at non-UY fans, I'll provide context for the real characters' descriptions so there will be character spoilers ahead!!

A cow monster, who is also the most handsome character in the series.

This is Rei, the female lead (Lum)'s ex-fiancee. The description I gave may sound kinda weird but it probably wouldn't sound as weird if I had stated that he has two forms: one being a mostly humanoid form and the other which is the cow monster one. He swaps between forms at random, mostly depending on his mood and comedic timing.

A princess who wants to lose her virginity.

This is Princess Kurama. She's the princess of the alien race, the Karasutengu (Crow Goblins). Since her royal line was fading away because there were no more humanoid men on her planet, Kurama decided to find a suitable man to mate with, but has no luck when it comes to that since her standards are way too high for the any of the males in the series.

A fire breathing bumblebee.

This is Ten. Like his cousin Lum, he is an oni alien and his abilities are to fly and breathe fire. Ten ended up getting a good number of votes in the poll and I'm guessing it's because people thought I meant a literal bumblebee. I gave that description to poke fun at his character design and I'm pretty sure most UY fans were able to recognize him from the description, and his resemblance to bees has been stated in canon too. But if you did vote Ten because you thought he was an actual bee, I am so sorry, please don't kill me, I should have added the word 'alien' or 'kid' to the description.

A school nurse who regularly beats up her male students.

This is Sakura. She is a shrine maiden and a school nurse at the main high school in the series. I don't think I need to give much of an explanation for her description; she's hot and all the male students are horny so it shouldn't be a surprise that she beats them all up.

A woman hater whose diet consists of baseballs.

This is Tobimaro Mizunokoji. He hates women, which is most likely a result of spending time with his rival's sister who treated him horribly when they were children (and she still does, by the way; we'll talk about her next). Oh, and as the description says, he can eats baseballs whole.. and is able to spit them out entirely too.

A teenage girl who kills boredom by plotting and attempting murder.

This is Ryoko Mendo. She is a rich, well mannered young lady and her favorite hobby is torturing her big brother and his rival (aka baseball boy from above) in many different ways for fun. I wanted to add a bit more to explain exactly how sadistic she is but the wiki does it better, so have that instead:

She will throw grenades and bombs at people while acting calm and composed, and yet will cry over them when they return to her charred to a crisp. She often acts in total secrecy without telling anyone of her plans, such as setting bombs in a giant Christmas Cake, turning a giant Christmas Tree into a firework, and retaliating to people by setting off bombs near them. She also shows an interest in black magic, having used hypnosis and voodoo dolls to torment her brother.

So yeah, she's fucking insane and I love her for it. Have my favorite Ryoko image ever as a bonus:

A sheltered girl who ends up falling in love with her brother.

This is Asuka Mizunokoji, younger sister of baseball boy from above. I feel like her she needs the most context since I think this might be the most questionable description of them all.

As per tradition, the women in the Mizunokoji family are not allowed to meet a single male until they are 15, this includes their father and brother; which is the case for Asuka. Because she has never seen a man, she doesn't know what they are (or anything that falls under 'men', like father, brother, etc.) and was raised in isolation by her mother and her family's all female guards. But her first, unfortunate encounter with a man, which happened before the arranged day ends up terrifying her and as a result, she gets a phobia of men, no matter who they are... unless they are a 'big brother'. You see, when her female guards' explained to her what men are, they unintentionally had them sound.. scary; but they also tell her about 'big brothers' (since she'll have to meet hers) who are a special type of man who look like her and are very nice. Eventually, she finally meets her big brother, Tobimaro (who didn't even know she existed till then by the way), but since the description on what a 'big brother' given to her was incredibly vague and because she has no knowledge of how siblings work, she ends up falling for him unaware of how big of a taboo it is. Naturally, it is a one-sided crush since Tobimaro knows better but that won't change the fact that it causes a lot of trouble for him.

Ok, I'll stop here because that took forever to write. Also, I took some help to write the above part from Asuka's page on furinkan.com, I needed a reference for the entire paragraph because Asuka and her shtick needs one hell of an explanation.

A TV addict with zero social skills.

This is Shingo. He is a boy who went missing during an experiment when he was small and because of that, he grew up by himself (asides from some animals) in a jungle. His only source of entertainment there was a TV, which only has historical dramas. As a result, he became very attached to TVs (he used to think the TV was his grandfather, and no I will not explain), even after he was found and brought back to society. He is also terrible at socializing since he grew up on Japanese historical dramas which are incredibly outdated. He is already weak when it comes to interacting with men, but he is the worst when it comes to interacting with woman since he has no respect towards them (again, because historical dramas). I find it funny he got a lot of votes and according to tags, it's because his description sounded more normal than the others, which makes it even funnier because he's like the only character who actually watches TV (asides from watching TV during lunchtime and stuff).

A cowardly kid who aims for a life of crime.

And here it is, the fake one! With how many characters there are, it was hard to come up with someone (for some reason, I can't be creative when I really want to be) but after I posted the poll I realized that there is a minor character who fits half of the description: He is a kid who aims for a life of crime, but he is pretty strong willed and isn't exactly what you would call cowardly or timid (His name is Kintaro, in case you are wondering- he is only in the manga and 80's adaptation).

And that is all! Thanks for joining me here and I hope you have a great day ahead!!

[goodluckclove]

A Celebration!

So I have memory issues.

It's for a lot of reasons that I won't get into here, it's really not a big deal. But it plays a fun part in the way I form relationships, especially relationships online. To put it simply, I can no longer really remember how I met @mercuryytheraven. I think I made some post asking people to tell me what's keeping them from writing and challenging them to allow me to fix it. We spoke for maybe thirty minutes, and I remember them saying that they were working on a Warrior Cat's fan fiction, which tickled me because I didn't know people still read those books.

They essentially said that they've been trying to write for some time, but no matter what they did they could never get past around 100 words. Something always got in the way. If I'm being honest, I don't remember what I told them, but it must've been insightful because they've been messaging me almost daily ever since.

Eventually my brain just accepted the presence of this bright, dandelion-fluff of a human being. I would look at my phone and say oh hey, it's them again. I would tell my wife about their exploits and we would remember what it was like to be young and even more confused than we are on a daily basis. Quietly, and I have never told them this, but I started calling them my protege. I don't know if that's arrogant or not.

Mercury is such a treasure of spirit. All it takes is one conversation to see the depth of color they carry within them. They care so deeply and about so many things, a quality hard to find in a world so preoccupied with cynicism and meta post-irony. Not only are they already an insightful and deeply curious writer, they are also an incredibly skilled visual artist. I questioned the validity of the high standards they held themselves to again and again - but then I told myself that I once did the same thing.

When I met Mercury they said they never wrote more than 100 words. That was less than a month ago. Today they just finished the first chapter of the Warrior Cats fanfiction they've been brewing for years. It's just over 3500 words.

Friend, do you know how remarkable that is? Can you imagine that big a breakthrough? I cannot stress enough that this is an immense achievement - not unbelievable, very believable, but hard. Worthy of accolades. Worthy of relishing in!

One chapter is never just one chapter. It's the creation of something foundational that didn't exist before. It doesn't matter if it's a fluffy fanfic one shot or literary novel or long-form au or pulp genre shlock. It wasn't here before and now it is and that is one of the most wonderful things in the world to me.

You might know me as someone against the general romanticization of The Writer as an archetype, but it's moments like these that truly call that stance into question. Because what @mercuryytheraven did today, and what many of you do whenever you can, is truly a precious sacrament. It is ritualistic in nature, a human sacrifice where we are the blood offering and the result is a story birthed from our own transfer of matter.

It is beautiful. So please, if you can, send some congratulations in the direction of our friend and colleague. And the next time you reach a milestone you feel is too small to be remarkable, know that you're wrong. You're doing something special for yourself and those around you with every single word you write, whenever you can write it.

So go write it!