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ckret2 · 3 years

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Alright let’s talk GVK spoilers!!!

My reactions as best I can remember them!

- love how Kong is humanized from the very first scene, like every time he shows up he’s humanized so much more than other titans are. If that was at the expense of other titans being made likable I wouldn’t enjoy it so much, but like, Godzilla is made pretty lovable over the course of Monsterverse, Mothra is too, and all the titans featured for long are given recognizable emotions that let us see them as more intelligent and feeling than “just” animals; so all of them are made understandable/likable/sympathetic. But of them all, Kong is the only one really humanized. Which makes sense, because like, big monkey! Basically our distant cousin!

- And they kept playing, like, normal songs for him, which cracked me up.

- I really appreciated how you could SEE the titans in this movie. After all the weather effects to hide the titans in KOTM, there was such a clear difference in this one from the very start. Kong in the daylight! Godzilla makes his first attack at night, and even then you can see him much more clearly than you can for most of KOTM! Nice!

- after the Iwi were portrayed as silent stoic witnesses in Skull Island, I really appreciated that they took an Iwi character, made her a main character, and gave her dialogue and a real role to play in the story while also keeping her deaf/mute. I think that was a good way to improve on the way that the Iwi got got sidelined in the last movie while still maintaining the worldbuilding!

- I didn’t appreciate so much that, y’know, they murdered the rest of her people off-screen in order to do it. Couldn’t they have gone “her parents died so she got adopted by a Monarch agent that was close to her family, but like, the rest of her tribe is fine”? Or at the very least “their island got fucked up so they had to be evacuated but like they’re settling in somewhere else”? “They’re living under this island dome with Kong and they know what’s up and Monarch’s keeping them in the loop and they decided they’re chill with their new dome home, but this one girl likes to go on adventures with Monarch”? Something? Did we have to kill them all off? Y’all make up an entire fictional indigenous culture and then murder them off-screen when you don’t need them? Just let them live.

- a few minutes in I was like “hold on, we’ve got two characters that speak sign language, we’ve got a giant gorilla, gorillas learn sign language, is there any reason they can’t teach Kong?” and then later I was like “OOOOOH!!” Humans and titans learning how to communicate with each other has been one of my favorite themes to explore in Monsterverse fanfic so I was absolutely tickled to see it getting explored in canon, too.

- That said I think it’s hilarious that the girl managed to teach Kong to sign without, like... anybody seeing. Kong’s hands are above the tree line and there are cameras everywhere, how did NOBODY with Monarch see him signing.

- Bernie’s weaponized being an annoying coworker to such a degree it can only be called an art, and I really appreciated it.

- Godzilla’s extra chonky in this movie and I dig it. Roomie noted he was extra crocodilian and I dig that too.

- “There’s been no confirmed titan sightings in three years” I don’t buy that for a minute. They’re BIG. Rodan NESTS IN VOLCANOES. They found a MOTHRA EGG. Humans have A SCARILY WELL-FUNDED ORGANIZATION DEDICATED SOLELY TO FOLLOWING TITANS AROUND. Like, most of the lore in GVK that I don’t personally like, I can be like “eh... I can tweak it just a little bit with headcanons to make it work for me...” but NO confirmed titan sightings? You expect me to believe ALL of them moved underground when we’d previously seen them all prefer to live above ground? You expect me to believe that now that they’re all AWAKE, they learned how to HIDE?? Uh-uh. And at the end of KOTM there was stuff in the credits about using titan droppings as biofuel, obviously they’re still walking around up top! Can’t take that from me. Nope.

- Who the FUCK is Ren Serizawa and how is he related to Ishiro Serizawa? IS he related? Maybe they just dropped the surname as another “yeah this is a Godzilla movie for Godzilla fans” easter egg but I have a hard time believing that he can’t be somehow related to the other character with the Very Important Last Name who was so important in the last two Godzilla movies. If he is related I’m sure it’s been explained in a tie-in comic or the novelization or something, I’ll look it up later.

- I had to look up how much weight huge battleships can carry while writing a KOTM fic where Ghidorah hitches a ride on one, and y’all, I had to pull weird gravity-negating magic to get him to ride on that boat. Godzilla and Kong woulda sunk that boat like a rock. All I could think during that scene is “this wouldn’t work and I know that because I DID THE RESEARCH and I wasn’t even getting PAID.” I’ll choose to believe that Monarch gets special heavy duty ships designed to carry titans but nobody mentioned it because it wasn’t relevant to Kong’s journey.

- The bit where they could see where Godzilla was swimming because he’d got half a ship hooked to him that was bobbing around on the surface, didn’t Jaws do something like that with a buoy? It’s been ages since I’ve seen Jaws. Anyway good reference.

- Insert “they’re gonna need a bigger boat” joke

- I LOVED the part where they shut down all the ships to get Godzilla to leave. Both because, one, it’s a spectacular callback to KOTM’s “turn off all the guns so he knows we’re not a threat” that makes it seem like now that’s just what Monarch knows what to do to get G to chill out, and two... we know that Godzilla backs off either when he’s killed his enemy or when his enemy has yielded to him. At the end of KOTM—and the end of GVK—the act of yielding is presented as very ceremonial and uniform across species: everyone lowers anything they’ve got that could be dangerous (claws, fangs, beaks, axes) and bows to show Godzilla they’re not gonna fight. Battleships, obviously, can’t bow, but even without being inducted into whatever secret titan cultural intricacies might be going on, humans have figured out their own way to “bow” to Godzilla: cut all the power, so their ships can’t move and can’t use weapons. I know the movie presented it as “playing dead,” but c’mon, if Godzilla could hear MechaG power up from halfway around the planet then he could hear that Kong’s heart was still beating, and he’s been around enough boats to know humans can turn them off and on when they want. The humans bowed to Godzilla. He accepted that they yielded and left.

- Mark Russell looked like such a dad in this movie, like he’s retired 100% from being a rugged action hero and now he’s just Pure Dad. I like him better when he’s a dad, it’s a good development for him. He got like 3 lines and I’m like “I appreciate this character development.”

- Despite all my qualms about how conspiracy theories and extremist groups are handled in Monsterverse (and WHICH conspiracy theories they decide to reference), I really love Madison and Bernie’s dynamic. The adult man who’s the excitable wide-eyed believer in every BS conspiracy you can possibly imagine; and then the serious, severe Teenage Girl On A Mission who’s hypercompetent because she was raised for five years by a friggin doomsday cult militia; and despite having wildly different personalities they’re just, in total agreement about everything. Handled just a BIT differently (like, leaving out the more gross IRL conspiracies) they would be a wildly fun comedic duo—especially with Josh the Only Sane Man coming along as the hapless sidekick. And they all play off of each other so well! Both in a comedic sense, and in more serious moments—when Bernie talked about his wife, there was a real moment of empathy between him and Madison with very little said. I’d watch an entire movie just about the three of them. I’d watch a TV show.

- On the one hand I wasn’t too much of a fan of KOTM’s “all titans... are inherently In Tune With Nature... nature has a Balance, because that’s a Real Thing and not an anthropocentric concept to describe how we like nature to act, and they automatically restore it... because they’re like, some kinda borderline divinities or something... we should probably be worshipping them...” thing; but, now that it was totally absent in GVK, I sorta miss it. Like I feel like there needs to be a balance, a few humans who are like “i lowkey worship these dudes?” and a few others who are like “they’re cool but like, that’s a lil extreme” and that neither side be presented as Right in how they regard titans’ relationship with nature.

- “All titans come from THE HOLLOW EARTH” nah I don’t buy that it’s silly. Basically, what I object to is the idea that all titans have some sort of intrinsic similarity (they all come from the same hitherto-unknown location; they all are part of the same pack that has the same alpha; they all are fueled/fed by the same energy source; etc) rather than letting them be SEPARATE species whose only unifying traits are “they’re all big enough to fuck everything up everywhere they go” and “they’re big enough that the typically-insurmountable barriers between different biomes (mountain ranges, valleys, long distances with terrible weather) aren’t insurmountable for them, so even if they’re specialized in different environments they still all have to deal with each other pretty often.” I’ll make some exceptions for convergent evolution (i.e., claiming multiple titans developed similar traits that are relatively easy to spontaneously evolve and a prerequisite for a creature to survive at such a large size). But I can’t buy “this big gorilla has more biologically in common with this big crocodile-iguana than he does with, say, gorillas,” or most of the other “all these titans have THIS IN COMMON” claims that Monsterverse makes, including “everyone’s from hollow earth.” So I’m tossing that out the window and substituting my own headcanons. Some might’ve evolved there but some evolved on the surface. Maybe a majority of them like ducking in and out of the hollow earth like some kind of titan shortcut system. Kong’s species, I can buy, IS native to hollow earth, considering that they built a whole-ass society down there with tools and architecture.

- I’m SO curious about the little underground Kong home, the Godzilla motif in the floor, and the axe that appeared to be made with a Godzilla scute. What’s the story there??? We know Godzilla’s species and Kong’s species are ancient rivals. Is it because Kong’s species hunted Godzilla’s to steal their scutes to make weapons, seeing them as a valuable resource the way, like, early humans considered woolly mammoths a valuable resource—thus making that Godzilla on the floor equivalent to cave art of mammoths made by people who hunted them—until the Godzillas got pissed and started fighting back en masse? Or were Godzillas and Kongs already enemies when Kongs decided to start making weapons out of their corpses? Did they use to be allies, fighting together, with Godzillas voluntarily offering shed scutes and/or bones of their deceased members to Kongs, and that place used to be a shared home until they started fighting?

- What about that power source, is it something that was already there that both Kongs and Godzillas started to deliberately harvest for technology/atomic breath? Or did Godzillas automatically channel that stuff and Kongs exploited/borrowed/traded with Godzillas to utilize it too? Or is the power from Godzillas who collaboratively poured a bunch of power into the place thus that Kongs were able to use it too? I doubt Godzilla’s species CREATED all that weird energy but the question remains of whether, like, they channel it FROM underground, or naturally produce the same thing in their own bodies, or what.

- Godzilla using his atomic breath to dig a hole STRAIGHT TO KONG just to KICK HIS ASS is hilarious. How lucky that Hong Kong just HAPPENS to be straight over Kong’s house! Were all the tunnels to the hollow earth made by pissed off Godzillas who wanted to kick monkey ass??

- I loved the aesthetic of the battle scene in Hong Kong, with the brightly colored neon building outlines, VERY cool look. The choreography of the battle scene was great too, especially

- we literally broke into applause when Kong shoved the axe handle in Godzilla’s mouth. Love it, perfect callback, that was the ONE thing from the original King Kong Vs Godzilla I was hoping to see referenced and there it was.

- You could really see a difference in how Kong and Godzilla fought—Kong doing a better job at using tools and the environment, Godzilla fighting more like a reptile. They seemed to emphasize Godzilla’s more animalistic behaviors in this movie to accomplish that contrast—he was down on all fours and moving like a crocodile more often, he was clawing at Kong’s chest—but even though it seemed a bit different of a combat technique it also didn’t seem out of place compared to how he fought in prior movies. And we’ve already seen that if Godzilla’s involved in a fight and one of the combatants knows how to use the environment, it’s typically not gonna be Godzilla. (See: Ghidorah using the reflection in a building’s windows to see what’s behind him, and recognizing a nearby power source and biting it to juice himself up.)

- So many of Godzilla’s enemies seem to have specialized in negating his atomic breath in order to combat him! The MUTOs directly suppress his ability to use it—and it makes sense that that’s an inborn ability they have, since they evolved to use Godzilla’s species as prey. Kong has a weapon that both acts as a shield to absorb the breath and turn it back against Godzilla’s species—they didn’t evolve to counter Godzilla, but they developed tools once a rivalry happened. Ghidorah’s the exception—which makes sense, since he came from space—but even at that we see him using tactics specifically to take into account Godzilla’s most powerful weapon (such as keeping one head on lookout for when he starts glowing so that they know when they need to dodge).

- LOVED the reveal that MechaG was based off of Ghidorah’s brain, it has vibes of both the Kiryu Saga and the way that Heisei MechaG is based off of Mecha-King Ghidorah. Not the most surprising plot twist, since we’d theorized that they might use San to make MechaG, but I wasn’t 100% sure they were gonna go with it until they finally did. Even when I was going “huh, the mecha pilot’s chamber looks weirdly organic” I didn’t make the connection to WHY until the reveal, lol.

- “Ghidorah’s necks are so long that the heads have to communicate with each other telepathically” that’s COMPLETELY WILD but I love it, it follows very well from their prior portrayal as telepathic empaths in Heisei, it lines up with their emphasis on electricity (because BRAINWAVES AND ELECTRICITY, hey ho movie monster pseudo science!), and it very much compliments my own private headcanon that they’ve got some psychic/mind control abilities.

- The movie ended with both “Godzilla won, technically” but also “since they teamed up as equals, the ending doesn’t FEEL like ‘Godzilla wins, Kong loses’ but rather ‘they both won against a common foe’” and since I’m on both Team Godzilla and Team They Should Be Friends, I’m happy with this outcome. Plus since the last time they fought, the Japanese movie company graciously let the American monster win, so it’s only polite that the American movie company graciously let the Japanese monster win.

- There were just a few too many humans in this movie. I was intrigued by Ren but we didn’t get much out of him, but like I guess somebody had to be in the pilot’s seat other than the Apex CEO. Didn’t care for the author of the hollow earth book, I feel like his role was superfluous. Didn’t need the Apex CEO’s daughter there at all, coulda done without her. How about this, combine all three roles. Instead of having a whole-ass author who knows about the hollow earth, just casually reference that Rick from KOTM wrote a book about it since he was the expert, and (since he wasn’t in this movie) say that he tragically died going to explore the hollow earth himself, and that way we’ve got the book with the “titans are from there” theory AND an excuse to share the “humans die when they go underground” info. Now, have Ren be working for Apex as a pilot for Mechagodzilla, but have him be MechaG’s pilot because he’s also a good pilot in general, and can fly those HEAV things. Have Apex send him to Monarch to be like “hey, you guys trust me right, since I’m Ishiro Serizawa’s relative? We at Apex have heard all about your failed hollow earth expedition, and due to Ishiro I’ve got some past ties to Monarch so I’ve got high clearance with y’all, so I could bring over this useful Apex tech that’d let you go underground and use what I know about hollow earth from my past time at Monarch to help guide things.” Once they’ve got the little chunk of energy stuff and go topside, he hustles it straight to Apex and straps into his seat to run MechaG. Bam, you’ve combined “person who knows enough about hollow earth to help the expedition,” “person who represents Apex’s interests and gets the energy,” and “person who pilots MechaG” into one character, in a way that takes three flat/underdeveloped characters and turns them into a single interesting character with a lot going on and some intriguing ties to the rest of the cast.

I think that’s everything?? Hoo.

#gvk #godzilla vs kong #gvk spoilers #godzilla vs kong spoilers #godzilla #meta

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bisluthq · 2 years

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Tbh the movie version of beautiful ghosts is kind of bad though. It is the worst song in the movie because the dancer singing it is not a singer. So it didn’t have the power of Taylor’s version and tbh in the film is entirely forgettable because she’s surrounded by singers of different qualities who brought different things, but she sang it like a whisper when it should’ve been a scream. If Taylor was Victoria or J-HUD (since they gave her the shittiest rewrite of Memories and rewrote what was the pivotal scene to be so dull and awkward) it might have been different. J-HUD singing BG would’ve been phenomenal!!!! So beautiful ghosts didn’t create a scene stealing moment or do much because by the time it came on, most people lost interest in the movie or thought it was rubbish - I think I’m one of the few non ironic fans of the movie lol. Other songs featured only in the credits have done well with awards before, but BG also missed the opportunity to get radio play, so unless you watched the credits to cats or sought out Taylor’s version, you wouldn’t know it existed which I think hurt it too.

I agree that the respectability factor comes into it too though. And when her exes are Jake and Tom - Jake a definite future Oscar’s winner and Tom who outside of marvel was/ is prone to awards bait type of work, it makes things awkward if you’re the sort of voter who thought Tom had James Bond potential and after a few dates was considered a joke, you’d be bitter, because the voters are all Karen type people. People blame Taylor for ‘ruining’ Tom but he was just having fun himself, but Taylor burst their bubble on their illusion of him.

But even if BG was nominated, 2020 was a STRONG year for the songs category and Elton and Bernie won their FIRST award as writers together for that song, which is fucking weird because they’ve been together forever and are a dream team but Elton’s been snubbed heaps considering the quality of his music, and then when he did Lion King, Bernie wasn’t a writer with him. So there’s a sentimental factor on those 2 finally sharing a big award together. It’s like when Leo finally won his Oscar everyone was so sentimental, for the music side of things, seeing Elton and Bernie stand up there was even more important. Then there was frozen 2, toy story 4 and a Diane Warren song… she still deserved a nomination, but I think a lot of things, not just her public image, went against her. Give it a decade and she’ll probably be considered a more respectable act to the academy and she’ll probably win for something less impressive than BG.

As maybe the other Cats fan (imo ironically but I’m not sure anymore) I agree tbh.

#nat talks cats

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radioromantic-moved · 2 years

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so here is that long list of ship questions. i know the post said to do it in the reblogs but i usually like making my own thing better just so i don't get Perceived by every person who happens to see the post. anyway i'm gonna answer these questions with a couple of other guys (definitely bernie, probably the sour candy triad, maybe some other characters depending on how i feel) but sure whatever we'll start off with‏‏‎ ‎frank because he's the guy with new content and i haven't talked about him or the ship in a while so a lot's changed. so here's your annual entrepreneur lore, aka. uh. fryx? pricethorne? actually pricethorne fucks we'll go with pricethorne

* Tell us about the S/I and F/O(s) you’re discussing! Name, source, job (if it applies), personality, or other information you think is necessary! frank is the proprietor‏‏‎ ‎of‏‏‎ ‎toy‏‏‎ ‎zone, the tiny town of‏‏‎ ‎hatchetfield's‏‏‎ ‎largest (and possibly only?) toy store. hf!nyx works at the store, and moonlights as machin3gh0st, a semi-famous twitch streamer among lgbt+ nerds. fun fact! my s/i's last name is hawthorne, which is because at one point they used to be related‏‏‎ ‎to‏‏‎ ‎linda‏‏‎ ‎and‏‏‎ ‎i‏‏‎ ‎read a fic where her maiden name was hawthorne. then it was revealed to not be hawthorne and she was pretty heavily implied to be an only child but i kept the name because it was cool.

* How did your S/I and F/O(s) first meet? Did they know of each others’ existence beforehand? they first met when hf!nyx filled out a job application, lol. i feel like they went to the same high school but were a couple years apart so they interacted very rarely if at all. maybe they were in a play together once.

* How did they behave in the beginning of they relationship? What did they think of each other? What do they think of each other now, & how do they currently behave? when they first met they hated each other. tee hee. hf!nyx thinks frank is a loser capitalist and frank thinks hf!nyx is a lazy slacker. if you're talking about the beginning of their relationship...it was weird because neither of them had really dated in a while and they were thinking it would be a casual thing and then they both got. erm. invested.

* Were there any huge turning points that changed how your S/I or F/O(s) saw each other, or was it gradual? Describe it to us! i don't know how to say this without making it incredibly sad in some way but um. when frank first started showing actual vulnerability i guess. much like his employees he is genuinely just trying to survive. i feel like once hf!nyx learns about basically. any of the things in daddy that are revealed about frank (amazon hater, dog owner, genuinely passionate about toys) they start to kind of soften towards him. for frank he just spent more time around them and realized that they actually did care about stuff, they just show it in an atypical way. they care a Lot, actually.

* Tell us about a defining moment in the self-ship lore (for example - the most impactful moment, a moment your S/I and F/O reminisce over all the time, a moment that fans of the self-ship would see as the “ship’s iconic scene”, etc.)! the coffee scene that i wrote into that one fanfic. if it was canon people would be all over that. (he buys hf!nyx a drink as payment for them working an extra shift. there is more to it than that but it's the basics of it. they smile a real genuine smile in his presence for the first time.) ERM. now i think they need to have a moment where they bond over their passions for stuff they like and agree with each other on the great online shopping debate. you need to see the stuff for real!!

* If discussing a Romantic F/O, who confessed their feelings first and where/when? Did it go smoothly? frank does probably. it's not a big affair they're both hanging out as we close up shop and he asks if they want to go on a real date with him at some point. hf!nyx sort of chokes a little and think he's playing some mean prank at first but then he seems genuinely hurt and they realize he's for real about it. it's a little awkward. they recover.

* Do your S/I and F/O(s) have any nicknames for each other? What are they? erm. i don't know if they have pet names exactly but i feel like frank uses like "babe" and "sweetheart" semi-ironically (he's more likely to use them sarcastically than in a genuinely romantic moment) and they both refer to each other by last name sometimes in an affectionate way.

* How did their first time hanging out/going on a date go? What did they do? they didn't call it an official date at the time but they went to see a shlocky alien invasion movie together one time after work as a Casual Platonic Hangout Thing. the movie was kind of silly but it got hf!nyx talking about about famous alien movies and their common tropes and frank wondering about the special effects they used so in the end it was a bonding experience.

* Has your S/I had any slumber parties (or in general late nights out) with your F/O(s)? How did those go? i don't know if they ever saw each others' houses/apartments before they were dating though they may have walked each other home before. after they become actual friends they might spend late nights together. maybe at miss‏‏‎ ‏‏‎ ‎holloway's diner, maybe just sitting in the mall.

* Do your S/I and F/O(s) live together? If so, where? probably they move in together pretty soon after dating because owning property is Expensive and it helps to have someone else paying rent. in the main storyline (daddy never happens) they just buy a slightly bigger apartment (2 bedrooms because they feel awkward sleeping in the same bed for a little while. and they are both vicious blanket thieves). in the post-daddy universe frank lives in the youngs' mansion for a little while but he can't really get comfortable there so he sells it and they both move into a nice but regular-sized house.

* What love languages do your S/I & F/O(s) have? hf!nyx is a words of affirmation kinda person which is unexpected of them because they basically communicate almost exclusively in sarcasm to people they don't know well. so affection for them almost always comes through very genuine words. frank likes quality time probably. it doesn't matter what they're doing as long as they're doing it together yknow. also what they consider quality time is usually mocking a shitty tv show while curled up on the couch. true romance.

* Did your S/I or F/Os make any friends from each others’ friend groups (like, does your S/I have any friends they met through F/O, or vice versa)? they all know the same people‏‏‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‎‎hatchetfield‏‏‎‏‏‏‏‎ ‎‎is a small place. but hf!nyx met lex through working at toy‏‏‎ ‎zone‏‏‎ ‎does‏‏‎ ‎that count. they are mutual friends of‏‏‎ ‎miss‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎holloway‏‏‎‏‏‎ ‎and‏‏‎ ‎she‏‏‎ ‎ships them. she isn't subtle about it.

* What does your S/I’s family think about your F/O(s), or what does your F/O(s)’s family think about your S/I? i feel like hf!nyx's family thinks frank is surprisingly Normal? while‏‏‎ ‎hatchetfield‏‏‎ ‎below the surface is deeply fucked up a lot of its residents are kind of just some guys. hf!nyx's parents are definitely very average in that regard which makes their kid who never grew out of their freaky goth phase just seem weirder. they kind of thought they would bring home an equally weird partner. but this guy is like. relatively unassuming for the most part. they like him and they're happy their kid is happy but it's a shock to them. i think frank's family is implied dead but i think their reaction would probably be the reverse of this. actually maybe not he's already a rebellious child apparently this is just an extension of that.

* Is there symbolism/an aesthetic that you associate with your self-ship? it's a little bit about nostalgia now that i think about it. nostalgia, the fixing of old things, the new in package smell of something you just bought. ALSO THIS SONG. something about the diverging timelines and hf!nyx being able to see them but still having faith that everything will be okay for them in the end. i have specific thoughts about specific lines but i won't get into it all.

* Are there any tropes that apply to your self-ship? enemies to lovers of course :) and idk boss-employee but those two together make this sound like an awful trashy romance novel so let me make it clear that other than job position-wise frank is Not the dominant party in this relationship. i mean we are equals and we communicate and all but he is my malewife. this is a constant for all of my ships with men.

* Free Space! Just gush about whatever part of the self-ship you’d like! okay uhhh i know i goof on him a lot and i will continue to goof on him a little but god i'm very emotional about the fact that frank is actually a good guy??? still don't know what the fuck was going on with him in most of‏‏‎ ‎black‏‏‎ ‎friday‏‏‎ ‎but he just wants to keep his dream alive!!! and he cares about lex too and he really does believe in her despite it all and he even cares about some guy he met in sheila's dungeon who he barely knew!!! and all of this is to say that both sides of this ship can technically be "aww you DO have feelings who knew haha" (is secretly flattered they get to know the other person like that) and um. um. um. AUGH. look he's still oren principle because i can't just make him Not oren principle but okay okay okay maybe this ship can be a little soft. as a treat.

i was going to link this description of the oren principle so newer followers know what i'm talking about and help he Barely applies anymore. IT'S FOR ORGANIZATIONAL PURPOSES...

#from being the only one with no redemption arc to the most sympathetic by far. good job my man.#ough. it's very late now i just wanted to finish this because it's been sitting in my drafts for a couple of days now.#god. genuinely very emotional over this guy.#ship: your annual entrepreneur #nyx on comms

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wordsoflittlewisdom · 4 years

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Watching bop again

I kinda forgot Cass was at the roller derby game. Love how all the characters are connected

Why does Roman’s voice...sound like that

Boss Bitch is weirdly nostalgic now

I like that the whole roller derby team is wearing like. team jackets. and harleys got her whole fringe sleeves thing going on

YES LOVE WHEN SHE THROWS THE NECKLACE AWAY

The chemical plant blowing up as fireworks was a very Harley choice

“So I’ll start where I fucking want” four minutes ago

huntress huntress huntress huntress huntress

I read somewhere that this huntress and Montoya scene was one take and they just changed the lighting to show the change

romans middle name being beauvais is probably the clearest clue they could have given that he was from a rich family

Love that Renee finds the necklace and knows Harley and the joker broke up. I like this idea that superheroes/villains are kinda like celebrities in this world

The egg sandwich scene is great what more can I say

Love that there’re cars and people just living their lives in this city

It’s a crime that we never see Harley wear this glittery fanny pack

The music is really good in this

It’s neat how the line between her narration and her dialogue is blurred, like how she’ll say the first part of something in narration and the second part in dialogue

Huntress’s little flute theme

And Montoya knows Cass; c o n n e c t i o n s

Montoya’s been going after Roman, too

And now we’re flipping back to the bertinelli massacre and diamond

Even if the whole missing diamond plot isn’t that unique, everything’s woven together so neatly

And now Dinah and Renee are on the phone about Cass and the diamond

It’s all connected

Harleys whole “I’m here to report a terrible crime”—she could have just run in there but she wanted to be Dramatic

I do wish the vocals were a little louder here maybe?

Big fan of this fight choreography

Harley pausing on a frame where she’s making a weird face before rewinding to explain about the diamond—it’s so rare to ever get to see women like. making weird faces in movies. All the women in his this are gorgeous but they don’t always have to be; they look beat up after fights and get dirty and make weird faces and it’s great

Dinah singing? Exceptional

“Loans, liquidity, laundering” ah yes the three L’s of illegal business

I unironically listen to Black Canary’s man’s world.

I like that everyone just calls Dinah “Canary”

“I’m all on my lonesome. It’s great” Harleys even an unreliable narrator when she’s just talking

I’ve really never seen a movie that feel like it’s from the female gaze visually as much as this one—all the rings and earrings, the hair, the makeup, it feels like what women might fantasize about dressing like

Dinah yelling “you motherfucker!” While beating some creeps up is quality

What time of day is it? Dinah would probably be leaving early in the morning, but I Refuse to believe that Roman would be awake particularly early any morning

She either canary is leaving her nightclub singing gig in the late morning/early afternoon or roman is still awake from the night before and is going to go to sleep soon

Cass and Dinah in the same building. (Bernie voice): I am once again talking about the connections

I’ve riffed on this before but i refuse to believe that Roman can drive

This Dinah and Renee scene establishes character, backstories, and moves the plot along all at once

Jesus some of ewan mcgregor’s acting in this is painfully bad

I love that Cass has a big bomber jacket and longer, looser shorts

Jurnee’s abs wow

The lights from behind the hands with the eyes behind Harley, who’s surrounded by people and then Roman and Victor emerge from the back, whispering to each other? Beautiful

One of the grievances roman has against Harley is “constantly interrupting him, like I’m doing right now”

Harleys “you’re really not as complicated as you think” bit is almost satirical of this cult we’ve created of “complicated” white male movie villains who have massive fan followings (cough cough joker)

Interesting that Roman holds the knife to Harleys face but hands it off to Victor to do that actual cutting

Someone handed Roman a bowl of popcorn

Harleys pocket tampon

It’s diamonds are a girls best friend yeah babey!

The male backup dancers are wearing muzzles/masks (Roman has one too for a split second) is an interesting flip on the way women are typically the ones being silenced, as well as Harleys desire to silence the men around her and be the one telling and controlling her own narrative

“Hey! you’re that singer no one listens to!” “Hey! You’re the asshole no one likes!”

Harley with her glitter gun

Harleys reaction when the sprinklers go off is perfect—Margot makes her feel like a living cartoon

This cell block fight scene is a showstopper

I like that cass doesn’t immediately want to stay with Harley. It gives her some agency in a story where she’s mostly just following the curveballs life throws her

Harleys little stare straight into the camera when cass admits to eating the diamond

Harley at the grocery store really emphasizes that she’s a total weirdo

I think I heard somewhere that the pic of child Harley with the nuns is a pic of young Margot??? Not totally sure though

Cass not knowing who the joker is goes with the whole supers are like celebrities thing—cass probably follows a whole different group of them (like how most kids follow different celebrities than their parents)

Huntress huntress huntresssss

“Give me number 32. Mild”

This kid in helenas flashback doesn’t really look like she’s grow up to look like Mary Elizabeth Winstead

This filming in this flashback has so much style

Helena practicing in the bathroom mirror with her drawing and her multiple bottles of travel mouthwash

We’re in the scene where Roman makes the girl dance on the table and oh god it’s so uncomfortable

No no no no no not this hate this

Alright that nightmare’s done

“and that’s why you should never pay federal income taxes”

Harley offering to bring cass to Roman after hearing doc say “business is business is interesting

OH ITS HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT TIME

Dinahs car is yellow because it’s...canary yellow

Roman putting on the mask is cool and all but he’s just gonna have to take it back off to get changed

This Harley vs Renee fight is fun because they keep mirroring each other—they’re fighting each other, but they’re really on the same side

The way the women all kind of circle each other at first and don’t immediately get along

Cass popping up with the gun also gives her some agency—she’s at the end of her rope with the diamond and being betrayed by Harley

“I am nOT THE CROSSBOW KILLER”

The way Huntress sounds so uncertain when she says “...and now I’m done” Mary’s acting really popped off

Roman’s a bitch but I like his outfits

Helenas little smile when Harley says “you just killed his BFF”

I love how excited Harley is when they all agree to work together

Roman’s giving his little speech in the back of a pickup truck?

When all the guys turned around with masks on I got chills

“I love this chick she’s got rage issues.” “I DONT HAVE RAGE ISSUES”

Huntress stabbing the guy while going down the slide is peak cinema

This set lights up as the scene progresses and reveals more

I love love love that Helena is genuinely caring towards Cass and recognizing that children shouldn’t have to go through trauma like her

“When the fuck did she have time to do a shoe change?”

THE HAIR TIE YEAH

Forgot to mention this but it’s a stroke of genius for this place to be called the booby trap

Love me some canary cry

“Told ya she had a killer voice”

Harleys chase was a real group hurrah—the canary cry cleared the way and pushed her forward, Huntress towed her, Renee gave her the gun with one bullet

Cass and Roman are just sitting in the back seat. That must have been an awkward car ride

Cass pulling the gun away from Roman when he tries to shoot up at Harley when Harleys on top of the car is elite

Damn this is one foggy pier

When Harley starts with “your protection is based on the fact that people are scared of you” you expect her to say that it’s wrong or something but she says “I’m the one they should be scared of” this movie messed with tropes so much

That also includes the whole “one bullet” thing—Harley misses with her one bullet, and you don’t really know what’s gonna happen next

“I took your ring”

You can pinpoint exactly when Harley and Roman realize what Cass did

I’d put the entire taco scene here if I could

Renee moving the drink away from cass shows her caring side—she doesn’t want a kid to get into alcohol and make the mistakes she did

“Does she always talk like the cop in a bad eighties movie?”

Harley and Cass stealing the car is a fun way to show that she may be on the side of the good guys sometimes, but that doesn’t necessarily make her one

“Woman” by Kesha

Wow the outfits in this scene are iconic

I mean they are in the whole movie but I especially like these

Cass riding around with Harley and a hyena, wearing cute outfits and learning the ways of chaos

Harley got her sandwich!

The credit art for this movie is cool

Especially how they represent each character

In conclusion this is still my favorite movie

I know I’ve been kinda absent recently, but watching this again has really reminded me how much I love it. I got really busy but I’m going to Make An Effort to be a contributing member of the bop fandom again.

#birds of prey and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn #birds of prey #harley quinn #huntress #black canary #Renee Montoya #Cassandra Cain #Roman sionis #Victor zsasz #words of little wisdom

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joaquinwhorres · 4 years

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Best of Friends (Ch. 1) {Bucky x Reader}

SUMMARY ››››› When your best friend steals marries Bucky's best friend, the two of you are left with only one solution: to become best friends yourselves.

PAIRING ››››› Bucky Barnes x Reader

WORD COUNT ››››› 3,916

WARNINGS ››››› There is no abuse in this story, no drug use, no depression, and as the only warnings worth putting up throughout the series, will be based around major plot points and surprise, I’m just going to rate certain chapters on the movie scale. This is chapter PG.

A/N ››››› So I love and adore this story so much. I originally wrote it as an OC story and you can find those versions of the chapters on AO3 or FFN

The pounding on the door was seriously the last thing you needed right now.

The first thing you needed was a drink.

Unfortunately there was no way on God's green earth you were going to successfully parallel park that UHAUL, and the idea of going to a liquor store within walking distance of your new place seemed about as safe as letting in the person on the other side of the door. Something told you it wasn't the UPS guy causing the door to rattle against the frame.

You sent up a silent prayer that whoever it was would just go away and leave you to the excellent pity party you had been throwing herself.

The banging grew louder. Which was about right for today.

Since dying probably couldn't make you feel any worse than you did right now, you strode across the apartment and wrenched open the door. In the next second, you were pushed back into the apartment as someone hurled themselves at you.

"You're here!"

Thank goodness. Bernadette.

Your shoulders dropped as you wrapped your arms tightly around your best friend, squeezing your eyes shut and willing yourself to relax into the wave of relief. "Hi," you mumbled.

"Took you long enough to open the door," Bernadette complained, but you could hear the smile in her voice as she rocked you from side to side.

"I thought you were a crazy person."

Bernadette let out a wild laugh right in your ear, and you flinched but refused to let go.

"She is a crazy person," a male voice interrupted your moment, and you opened your eyes to find two hulking figures leaning against the wall behind Bernadette. The brunette smirked at you--or maybe Bernadette--as the blonde seemed preoccupied with scanning the hallway.

"Fuck you, Bucky," Bernadette lifted her middle finger for him to see without releasing you from the hug.

Bucky just laughed in response. "I suggested texting you that we were on your way, but she thought you'd enjoy the surprise." His eyes glimmered with amusement as your eyes rolled on their own accord.

"And you did, right?" Bernadette asked, pulling back enough to look at you eagerly.

"Maybe we should get out of the hallway," the blonde suggested, putting a stop to the bickering and saving you from having to pick sides.

"Yes!" Bernadette's attention shifted as she released you from the hug. "Let's see it!"

Your stomach constricted. "It's pretty rough."

"Of course it is. You just got here like thirty minutes ago," she dismissed, pushing past you. You sighed, opening the door and letting the men enter.

“Hi Y/N. Sorry we didn't text,” the blonde greeted, giving you a quick hug on his way in.

“It's fine, Steve,” you patted his back before dropping back down onto your feet.

“Your Honor,” Bucky grinned, entering the apartment.

“Your Bestness.” You smiled back, following him in and closing the door behind you to keep anyone else from seeing the depressing state of your new reality.

The three quickly fanned out to survey your apartment.

"This is a .....nice place," Bernadette smiled too brightly as she circled a pile of boxes in the kitchen to flip on the tap water. You watched as it sputtered a few times before picking up into a yellow-ish stream. She quickly flipped it off, turning to face you and see if you had seen. Making eye contact, she shrugged. "That clears up."

Bless her. She had to be the best friend to ever exist. Because if you were her, you totally would have hit her with an 'I told you so' by now.

Bernadette had warned you that an affordable single apartment was suspicious. That sometimes landlords blurred the neighborhood lines. That you may need to fix it up in order for it to even be considered a fixer-upper. Everything she warned you about was true.

You had thought you were going to Williamsburg. Instead you were in Bed-Stuy.

The picture on the listing must have been from like 10 years ago. Or maybe it was a neighbor's place. Or straight photoshopped. Because exposed brick was one thing but crumbling walls were another.

Add to that the three locks on the door and the fact that you were eight hours away from pretty much everyone you knew and loved, and you were feeling super great about this life decision.

"Does it?" you asked, making your way over to the living room area where about half of the floor seemed to have been ripped up.

"Sure," Bernadette nodded, moving out of the kitchen. "And if it doesn't, that's what Brita is for."

"You locked the truck, right?" Steve asked from where he stood by a window, staring out to the street below.

"Stop, the neighborhood's not that bad," Bernadette waved at Steve. She made a show of rolling her eyes as she moved past you to open the door to your bedroom."You did lock the truck, right?" she paused to whisper in your ear. You hummed a yes and turned to follow her.

The bedroom was less depressing than the rest of the apartment in the way Mount Everest was less dangerous than K2. It was still a fucking mountain.

"Interesting paint job," Bernadette remarked, staring at the wall which was half royal blue and half blood red. And not even artsy diagonal halves. No, of course not. Vertical halves. "I think I've seen something like this on Pinterest."

You groaned.

Bernadette tilted her head slightly, considering the room. "I think you probably have enough room to fit a twin and a dresser in here if you line them up against the wall."

"It's terrible," you whined. "The whole place is a complete shithole."

Bernadette gave you a sad smile. "It's better than I thought it would be," she brushed past you, walking back into the living room.

"There's a random hole in the kitchen ceiling!" You flung an arm out gesturing vaguely towards the kitchen.

"It could have been way worse. I was expecting it to be like a fourth of the size or for there to be a random dude you had to share it with. And anyway, Bucky's handy."

Your eyes flicked to Bucky, who was surveying the hole in the kitchen ceiling.

"You can't see into the apartment upstairs, so that's good," he commented and Steve snorted. Bernadette slipped off her shoe and chucked it at Bucky. He ducked, and it hit the wall of the kitchen, knocking loose part of the wall.

Whatever.

Bernadette winced. "Sorry," she apologized to you, meekly, shuffling across the apartment to retrieve the shoe from Bucky's outstretched hand. Taking the shoe, she whacked him in the arm with it. Bucky laughed again, making eye contact with you and shaking his head. You allowed a single exhale of amusement to escape you. But that was pretty much all the humor you had to spend on the situation.

"Do you have the keys to the truck?" Steve asked, and you nodded, patting your pockets before finding them and offering the small keychain to him. "Alright, Buck," he nodded with his head towards the door, and Bucky moved around Bernadette, giving her a wide berth as he went to follow Steve.

She started to follow when Steve stopped her.

"We got it. It's just the heavy stuff, right?" he asked you.

You nodded. "Yeah, I got most of the boxes up before you came."

"Are you saying we can't handle the heavy stuff? Did I secretly marry a misogynist?" Bernadette asked, putting her hands on her hips.

Steve shook his head, smiling. "We need someone to watch the stuff up here since the door's going to be open."

"Steve--" Bernadette started to protest again. You weren't sure if she was about to argue about her physical prowess or the apartment's safety, but regardless of the argument this eternal optimist wanted to make, you were fairly sure Steve was right.

"That'd be great, you can help me figure out where to put things as we unpack."

Bernie brightened at the prospect. "I'm glad you said that, because I already have some ideas." She turned back to face Bucky and Steve.

"Bucky, make sure he doesn't overexert himself. I need him fully functional tonight." You hoped that everyone mixed the grimace that crossed your face. Steve blushed slightly, and leaned down to whisper something in Bernie's ear. A grin spread across her face, and you were very thankful Steve was not one of those people who couldn't whisper.

"Ah newlyweds," Bucky made eye contact with you again, and you couldn't read the look on his face. He seemed almost like he was waiting for you to get the punchline of a joke. Maybe if your brain was operating at all correctly, you would have gotten it. Instead, you snorted before turning to Bernadette.

"Kitchen should be easiest and least in the way, right?"

"As long as we get it done in time for Bucky to take a look at the ceiling. And the bit of wall he knocked off."

You knew Bernadette well enough to see the red herring for what it was. You were not going to get distracted with holding her accountable for further destroying your shitty apartment.

"I'm not going to ask Bucky to fix my ceiling," you said, gathering the utensils out of the box and sticking them in a drawer by the stove.

"It's not a big deal--" Bernie dismissed, crossing paths with you to take the utensils and stick them in one of the mason jars you'd already unpacked.

You shook your head, "It's weird to ask one of your friends to fix my ceiling--"

"He's your friend too," Bernadette argued, taking the napkins out of your hands and disappearing with them.

"I've met him twice."

Bernadette came back and rustled through the open boxes, the sound of glass clinking and metal shifting against each other in her wake."Yes, but the second time you spent four days practically attached to the hip with him."

"Because he was the best man, and I was the maid of honor. It was our job to be attached at the hip and make sure everything went well."

"Was creating cute little nicknames part of the job as well?" Bernadette asked, pausing to pin you with a look.

"It's just an inside joke, and they're not that cute."

"Oh, they're pretty cute," Bernie smirked, bending back down to go through a box. "Where did you put your dish towels?"

You stood up from your box, coming over to join her in looking through the box. "I mean he calls you Bernie."

"Everyone calls me Bernie now," Bernadette dismissed. "Besides he has two nicknames for you."

"K is not a nickname. It's a taunt."

"You mean flirtatious teasing."

"I mean a jab at how I'm a shit texter."

Bernadette looked you dead in the eyes before shooting you what was probably supposed to be a sultry wink. " 'k."

You threw the dish towels you'd just dislodged at her and she laughed, picking them back up from where they fell in the box, and moving over to the open drawer. "Setting aside the two nicknames and their quality, he volunteered to come help you. I don't think he'd mind taking a look."

"Maybe," you conceded, knowing Bernadette wouldn't stop until she'd had some measure of success. It's what had to make her such a good law student. You had given in enough times on the promise of maybe that with a glint in her eye she dropped the subject.

It took Bucky and Steve a little over an hour to unload all of your things from the truck. It was another forty-five minutes of Bernadette reimagining the floor plan and forcing the four of you to continuously shuffle the furniture around before she was satisfied. When all was said and done, the apartment did look marginally better. At least some of the punched in outlets were hidden and the worst of the floor was covered.

"Well," Bernadette said, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "That's it. You're officially a New Yorker."

"And you can officially stop sending me those sketchy Craigslit ads and Monster listings," you nodded, placing your hands on your hips and surveying the apartment.

"Neither of you are New Yorkers," Bucky shook his head, navigating the words around a hair-tie as he fixed his bun. Bernadette turned to glare at him, and he laughed, slipping the hair-tie around the bundle of hair.

"You married in. Doesn't count."

"Excuse you, I’m fluent in Subway Announcement and I’ve had a rat steal some of my food. If that doesn’t make me a New Yorker then I don’t know what does,” Bernadette huffed.

"You're a New Yorker," Steve soothed, putting an arm around her, and kissing the top of her head.

"Well," you sighed, hoping to stop another bantering fight from breaking out between Bucky and Bernadette. "I need pizza. And beer. And to get out of this apartment. Anyone else?"

"Oh," Bernadette's face fell as she glanced quickly up at Steve and then at you. "I wish we could, but Steve and I have reservations. I wasn't even thinking when we made them, and it's such a long wait list…" she trailed off, frowning sympathetically "I'm so sorry, babe."

"I'm free," Bucky offered. "And I actually know a decent place that's not too far from here. Since I'm a real New Yorker." The jab effectively stopped the sly grin that was growing on Bernadette's face.

"I--"

"What line did we take to get here?" Bucky asked, and Bernadette sulked. "It just slipped out."

"It's a tourist mistake," Bucky shook his head, tsking. "The green line."

"Well," Bernadette hmphed, "Steve and I are going to take the G train back home to get ready for dinner." She moved over to you, placing a kiss on your cheek. "I will see you for lunch sometime soon because we can do that now that we live in the same city!"

You smiled, and reached up to hug Steve as he bent down to say goodbye.

"Bucky, please do not take my best friend to any godforsaken hole in the wall back alley pizza joint that's definitely just a front. I don't care how good their pizza is," Bernadette cut off his protest and he smiled, shaking his head.

"You're missing out on all of the best food."

"Ok," Bernadette dismissed, her disbelief dripping from each syllable. She took Steve by the hand, and you and Bucky walked them to the door. "Love you both." And with that, Bernadette and Steve were gone, leaving you alone in your apartment with Bucky.

He sighed, running a hand through the roots of his hair, despite the fact that it messed up his perfectly done man bun.

"You don't have to get pizza with me," you said, flashing a quick smile at him.

"Trying to get rid of me?" Bucky asked, looking down at you amused.

You shook your head, turning away from him quickly to try to locate your purse amongst the boxes. "No, I just--didn't want you to just come along to be nice. Or because you felt bad that Bernadette ditched so I'm all alone."

"How could I feel bad when you put it like that?"

"I didn't mean it like--" you started, stuttering and Bucky stopped you, coming up beside you with your purse hanging from his finger.

"I know. Just rest assured that I'm happy to put up with you for pizza."

You snatched the purse from him, slinging it across your body as Bucky laughed at you. "Ready?"

You nodded and the two of you headed out the door.

For all of the inconveniences and tragedies that had befallen you today, the walk to the pizza place was not one of them. In fact, second to seeing Bernadette at your door, it was probably the best part of the entire day. The walk was short, and the September evening air was pleasantly warm. With Bucky and his MMA fighter build next to you, navigating through the neighborhood didn't wrack your nerves as much as it could have. Although, it might not have been Bucky's muscles as much as his easy conversation that provided the comfort. He told you about his job, where to find the best bodegas, and one embarrassing story of Steve growing up. By the time you arrived at Tony's Pizza Spot, you had almost forgotten about how awful your day was.

"Hey Tony," Bucky called out, entering the place, and the owner looked up from where he was cutting a pizza. He jerked his head up in a nod. It was a small wood paneled shop with no tables or counters to sit at. Instead, there was one large display case with different meats and breads. You looked up at the simple menu, and Bucky stood closely next to you despite the fact that you had a feeling he didn't need to look at the offerings.

"Pepperoni and sausage ok?" Bucky asked, and you nodded, scanning the drink refrigerators for any sight of beer. "And for your milkshake?"

You raised your eyebrows at him. "I'm getting a milkshake?"

"You are," he nodded.

"Well," you looked up at the board. "Cherry vanilla."

"Excellent choice," Bucky smiled, approaching the counter as Tony tied off the pizza box with twine and then approached.

"What can I getcha?" he asked his eyes flicking between you and Bucky.

Bucky placed the order quickly, and Tony nodded, quickly tallying it up on the register. You reached into your purse for your wallet, but Bucky waved you off. "I got this."

"Pretty sure it's customary for the person who just subjected you to two hours of moving stuff to pay for the pizza. "

"Nah," Bucky shook his head, already handing the cash over to Tony."Think of it as a housewarming gift."

"Just moved to the neighborhood?" Tony asked, passing back Bucky his change, and you nodded. "Welcome."

"She's right down the street," Bucky said, dumping the change into the tip jar and stuffing the bills back into his pocket. "Figured I'd show her the best pizza spot in town."

"Damn right," Tony grinned, moving away to grab out an already prepped cheese pizza.. "How's Clint doin'? Didn't see him last week."

Bucky shook his head. "Broke his wrist last week, so Kate's placed him under house arrest to make sure he doesn't make it worse like last time. I'm guessing one of them will be in soon."

Tony had the same look of exasperation as Bucky as he ladeled sauce onto the pizza. "It's always something with him. Broken bones. Concussion. That boy's a walking accident."

You sorted through your memories trying to remember if you had met Clint at the wedding or either of the times you had been up to visit Bernadette at school. The name sounded familiar enough, but you couldn't picture the face. If Bernadette was here she could jog your memory. She'd remind you who Clint was give you a few facts about his life and a quick story so you felt like you knew him already. But she wasn't here. She was off being married, and you were in this tiny pizza shop with a boy you hardly knew who was doing his best to keep you company.

"You ok?" Bucky bumped shoulders with you. You hadn't realized their conversation ended and Tony had moved away to make the milkshakes.

"Yeah, I'm fine," you shook your head trying to clear your thoughts.

Bucky shot you a very disbelieving look. "I can't tell if you're a bad liar or just too tired to try to be good at it."

Your shoulders dropped. Frankly, it was both. "It's nothing...it's stupid," you dismissed.

"Bummed you're stuck here with me instead of Bernie?" Bucky guessed. Very correctly.

"No," you sighed. "I just wish she was here too."

"Yeah, I get it," Bucky nodded, facing back forward to watch Tony making the milkshakes.

You felt bad. After all, Bucky had volunteered to give up his Monday evening to helping you move in. He probably had a whole list of things he'd rather do after work than lug a bookshelf up your stairs, but he'd done it, hadn't complained, and then treated you to pizza. And here you were wishing he was Bernadette.

"It was kind of rude of your best friend to steal my best friend," you commented with a half smile.

Bucky snorted. "Sorry, your honor, but your best friend stole my best friend."

"What?"

Bucky looked back down at you. "You weren't there. He was gone long before she was. Pretty much the second he met her it was over for him."

"What, and you were there the second they met?" you sassed back, placing your hands on your hips.

"Actually, yes," Bucky said, reaching forward to grab a milkshake Tony placed up on the counter. He peered into the top of the cup and passed it over to you. "Steve volunteered both of our services to move in Bernie's stuff."

"I didn't realize you were there," you said, accepting the dessert from Bucky. "She only ever mentioned Steve."

"Maybe he did steal her away fairly instantly then." Bucky shrugged. "Anyway, you realize there's only one solution to our problem, right?"

You gave him a flat look. "I'm not going to kill them."

"Holy shit, no," Bucky laughed. "That's where you went first?" Your face heated up, and you quickly busied yourself with a sip of the milkshake which was very good. Better than alcohol good. "And?" Bucky asked.

"It's delicious," you said, returning for another sip before looking back at him. "But what's the solution?"

"We'll be best friends."

"You want to be my best friend?" you asked, with a small smile.

"More like I want you to be my best friend," Bucky said. "Steve's been doing a shit job recently, and you moved all the way from North Carolina to be with Bernie--I like that kind of effort."

You laughed, and Bucky grinned back, taking his milkshake from off the counter.

"Alright," you agreed, feeling a little bit lighter. "I'm not replacing Bernadette though. You'll just have to be the substitute for when she's not up to par."

"I can work with that," Bucky nodded. "And as my first act as your substitute best friend is to demand to throw you a housewarming party. Don't make plans for next Saturday."

The smile slid off of your face. "No, thank you. I don't want anyone walking into my trap house apartment."

"Your apartment is not that bad."

"Bucky. It's terrible."

"Your Honor, Steve and I shared a glorified closet for our entire sophomore year of college. We couldn't both stand in our kitchen." Bucky leveled you a glance. "And our friends still came over to visit us."

You mulled it over, stirring your milkshake with the straw. It wasn't a terrible idea. It was bad,, uncomfortable, ill-thought out, and overall not good, but it wasn't terrible. You nodded. "Alright, Your Bestness. Saturday."

"Excellent," Bucky grinned, grabbing the box Tony slid across the counter. "We'll discuss details over pizza."

Masterlist

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes au #mcu fic #modern!au #marvel fic #marvel imagine #best of friends #bucky fic

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danggerine · 3 years

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fe3h characters ranked by how much i like their eyebrows

(yes this is only the students, no you dont get pictures with it i’m too lazy, yes i’m right about everything <3)

Hubert: can’t have an opinion on something that doesn’t exist 0/10

Lorenz: they’re too thin and the way they blend into his nose makes him look like like the anime boy equivalent of squidward’s house, i think maybe they’re just too low on his forehead?? idk but it’s 2/10

Raphael: WAY too small for his hair texture and face, if he had fluffier brows he would be so much more approachable 2/10

Constance: you could draw a single line on your browbone with a mechanical pencil and it would be thicker than poor ms von Nuvelle’s eyebrows 2/10

Hilda: basic thin anime brows, not too much interest especially considering how good the rest of her design is 3/10

Balthus: he and dedue literally have the exact same eyebrows, balthus’s just extend out further and have a sharper point, but those differences do not stop these brows from being ugly 3/10

Dedue: i love a thick eyebrow, but these are so low-set and the weird spike/hook things on the ends are not flattering, i can understand stern but there’s no reason for his brows to look evil, it’s a 4/10 for me

Ingrid: the shape is strong and determined, and the placement on the face is good, but why the fuck does this bright yellow blonde have black eyebrows i’m so tired of this bullshit 4/10

Leonie: Pretty good shape, but the color is sooooo different from her hair that it makes everything off. the sharpness of the arch is nice though 4/10

Felix: great color match considering their thinness, but the way they blend into the top of his nose on one side depending on which direction he’s facing is a little strange and really off-putting for me, i think his eyebrows look fine thin considering his hair texture but i would like more definition, 4/10 (although his eyebrows look GREAT on his in-game model, i dont know why they’re so different)

Caspar: i’m not a fan of the feathery/spiky tipped eyebrows in general, but i do like that caspar has something unique. if only they weren’t literally straight lines with a color about 10 shades away from his hair 4/10

Marianne: pretty good! the shape is pretty basic and you can’t even see them pre-ts, but they are very kindly shaped 5/10

Yuri: blends too much into the nose and has very little definition, but gets extra points because they’re so expressive 5/10

Dorothea: not a great color match but not terrible, the shape really compliments her eye shape though, 5/10

Linhardt: these are decent, good unique shape and decent color match, i think they should be a little bigger or more defined because both his haircuts leave a lot of empty forehead space, but they’re not terrible 5/10

Annette: again, pretty standard thin anime girl brows, but these are a little thicker and have a soft, gentle slope 5/10

Bernadetta: hers are hard to judge because her default talking portrait doesn’t have a neutral expression (poor bernie), but i think these are pretty good, they’re kind of short which is cute and unique among the cast, but i think the taper is a little too intense for how short they are, 5/10

Hapi: the shape is uniquely expressive and the color match is actually decent despite how thin they are, 5/10

Ashe: for once the super-anime-style thinness works a little better for his face, since he already has small, delicate features, the shape is a little boring though, 5/10

Ferdinand: a slightly softer version of the angry arch with good color matching and a lot of expressiveness, i think my king deserves big ol caterpillars but these are pretty good 5/10

Sylvain: LOVE the way the shape matches his hair texture, that’s impeccable, plus the shape is well defined and has lots of personality, if only the color had literally any similarity to his hair color, 6/10

Ignatz: friendly, matches the rest of his foundness, a little too dark though 6/10

Dimitri: good definition and color matching, although the shape is very flat and makes him look grumpy, but overall a strong set of brows 7/10

Edelgard: strong, determined shape with just enough thickness to have a defined arch and some interesting tapering, pretty good brows! 7/10

Petra: her eyebrows are totally different shapes pre and post timeskip, which is weird, but i like both of them, they both are a really flattering shape with a definable arch (the arch is further back post ts, which i think looks better) and a well executed taper, pretty good color, all around a win 8/10

Claude: SUPERB eyebrows wow, the thickness is absolutely perfect, the sharp inner end proceeding into a rounded outer end with both an elegant smoothness and a pronounced arch to the shape, the feathering on the ends for texture, these are all around stellar brows, 9/10

Mercedes: LITERALLY PERFECT, the color is exact, the shape is gently rounded and has personality, they’re thick and positioned perfectly on her forehead, absolutely incredible 10/10

#this gets so repetitive and it’s barely funny but it’s been sitting in my drafts forever and i’m sick and have free time so here #all of my fe3h mutuals are churning out theories about lore and character analysis and competent thoughts #and i present you with: unadulterated bullshit #fire emblem #fe3h #fe16 #my thoughts #long post

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ritchieblackless · 4 years

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[Ranking Of Cozy music eras]

Well, as many of you know, Cozy did A LOT of things with many musicians and playing different styles. He appeared on at least 66 albums and counting another session work, some hidden works (Like Supertision and Ballroom Blitz) in total is nearly 90 things that he did! (that's why it took me so long, I had to listen to all again) but always one era will be better than other so... at the request of @thespiritofvexation (and I wanted to because is a excellent idea) here are the ranking of Cozy music eras.

Note: I'll try to be objective about this but also you'll get my opinion.

9. Whitesnake.

(As you can notice, Cozy's solo album is there. I put it because is in same era. I did this with all Cozy's solo albums 'cause the poor boy didn't have the time to make a proper solo career... he didn't like that very much anyway.)

Well first thing I'll highlight about this work... is the fact that his drumming is plain, so plain... for being Cozy Powell. You know, Blues rhythm, one bass drum and tomb with a little bit of cymbal... plain. But it's alright because the album needed that type of drumming (Not pun intended of course) I'm just saying that his drumming is so plain because the songs (Blues/Hard Rock) needed that, otherwise, it would have sounded a bit Rainbow-ish. Remember that Cozy was so versatile. He had a strong style but if the song needed the opposite of his style, he was going to do it.

Whitesnake era for me is not his best but LIVE. He on stage was another story. He was amazing.

Songs with Cozy's signature: Hungry For Love.

A side from Whitesnake we have his solo album which is one of his best works. Octopuss was a successful album. We have his mix between classical music and his drumming which is mind blowing. Hard Rock tracks like The Rattler, Formula One (Good one, Cozy) and Princetown and one ballad (Because he liked... a true sweetheart.) Dartmoore.

8. Michael Schenker Group.

His work here is what I like to call "Angry Drumming"

He didn't get along with Michael Schenker so they were fighting everytime. So all he did in this only album with MSG he did it angry... that's why is so good. He was "in mourning" trying to get over Rainbow so he had no better idea that making his drumming sound Rainbow-ish (I can relate) taking advantage of the situation that MSG was a heavy rock band. Not Rainbow, but still. There are a lot of Cozy's fills and Cozy's arrangements on the songs too more than Whitesnake.

Songs with Cozy’s signature: Attack Of The Mad Axeman, But I Want More and Feeling Like A Good Thing (Live).

Now, a side from MSG we have his second solo album. Tilt have jazz-fusion songs like Cat Moves. A rock tracks too like The Blister and Hot Rock. And with some funky thing like The Right Side with another ballad (Because he is a sweetheart) Sunset. Tilt was an anti-commercial album with a nice success. Also, the album have two “Dark” songs which are Living In A Lie and Jekyll Hyde (Inspired of course in Mr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde... Cozy’s favourite book... such a nerdy.)

7. Brian May Band.

We know how important Cozy was for Brian May’s solo career and Brian himself... (But I’ll not going to talk about this now, because I’m focused only on his drumming.)

Basically Brian told him “Be yourself, I don’t need a type of drumming” So that is what you listen when you listen those three albums... a free, happy Cozy. So powerful as always and creative. Of course Cozy had to be powerful because he was trying to cheer Brian up (He is so sweet). Believe me when I say that this is his best work in his last days! Its amazing the heavy-hand that he still had. For moments you think that you are listening Rainbow by the power of his drumming and the songs are completely stunning.

Songs with Cozy’s signature: Cyborg, The Guv’nor, Resurrection, Rollin’ Over.

Now, his solo album. The Drums Are Back was not a successful album with bad reviews saying that Cozy was recycling himself. I personally don’t think Cozy was recycling himself, I just think that he had his own way to do songs and make albums.In spite the bad critics and no success, the album was top ten in Japan.. HA! The Drums Are Back have really groovy songs like The Drums Are Back, Legend Of The Glass Mountain (He really never got over Rainbow..). Rock songs like The Rocket and Ride To Win. And three ballads (Because he is a sweet-... well you get it) Battle Hymn, Cryin’ and Somewhere In Time.

6. Peter Green Splinter Group.

This album is a proof of Cozy’s versatility and still young drumming.

He and Peter Green got along really well so their chemistry was reflected in the music and live performances (Unfortunately a very few with Cozy) Yeah, the whole album is basically blues, okay? But the thing is that Cozy, no matter how slow the blues was, he would let you know that was him playing the drums.And I need to say that: HE PLAYED BLACK MAGIC WOMAN WONDERFULLY... (just that, back to the point).

Peter didn't tell him how to play drums in Fleetwooc Mac’s songs, Cozy just did it and he did it fantastic. Also, his drumming sounded so young, so strong and with presence. Its mind blowing really because you don’t expect Cozy at the age of 50 playing strongly but he actually did. He did his drum roll thing with just one bass drum, he was still so noisy as always (I’m so sorry just this era puts me soft)

Songs with Cozy’s signature:Homework, Going Down.

And his solo-... oh... right... *Runs to bathroom to cry*

5. 80s Work.

Well, time to time (For not saying always) Cozy liked to participate in his friends’s albums when he had a little free time with the band that he was in at the time. I did this 80s work section here because I cant believe that amount of things that he did while he was playing in other bands (I mean, u r for real?)...I put the most popular ones but out there are a lot of unknown Cozy works in the 80s with several bands. I just felt that his 80s works deserved a position in the ranking. This is another proof of his versatility but, with a little of his style of course.

Songs with Cozy’s signature: Tender Babes by Jon Lord, Night Games by Graham Bonnet, Slow Dancer by Rober Plant, Believe by Tom Galley (Phenomena) Shakey Ground by Bernie Marsden, Running from The Storm by Gary Moore and well.. ETC (and many many etcs)

4. Black Sabbath

This is when Cozy turns his “Beast Mode” on.

I don’t know why, maybe because he knew what Black Sabbath was (Tony: Join my emo band.... Cozy: okay) and what it needed..? because that is his normal drumming..? (I'm sure that is his normal drumming.) But he literally blows your mind in every- fucking *wheezes* song. The three Black Sabbath albums are filled with unexpected Cozy's fills (No matter how many times you've listened to those albums, he is unexpected.) His beat is very heavy and very exact too. He was a fan of Bill Ward so I'll be not surprised if he tried to get that heaviness! (I mean, Cozy has his own heaviness but what I'm saying is that maybe Cozy wanted to make a proper Black Sabbath sound)

Songs with Cozy’s signature: Headless Cross, The Call Of The Wild. Basically all TYR and talk about Forbidden is forbidden... (I’m joking. Is a good album too)

3.Jeff Beck/ RAK

Well, for start I put them together because when Jeff Beck Group disbanded, the following year he signed a contract with Micky Most and RAK. So, he was a secessionist, a well-known secessionist. He was in the circle for someone who needed a powerful-jazzy style. It’s like the 80s works really (omg Cozy get a grip). He was a really demanded drummer, everyone wanted him and he eventually worked with everyone. He had a very well-known beat by that time, you easily can tell was Cozy but he also had to be more open to the different styles that he was asked to play (Basically he can’t play like him all the time). He also had some discredited stuff, like Ballroom Blitz by The Sweet (It’s so obvious) and Superstition by Steve Wonder (I know, I know that it says Stevie played everything BUT NOT IN THIS CASE DON’T BELIEVE HIM. What you hear in the song is Cozy playing.) and more like some Suzi Quatro’s songs.

Songs with Cozy’s signature: Ballroom Blitz, Superstition, Cosmic Wheels, Band Of The Salvation Army Band by Tony Ashton and Jon Lord.

Now his solo stuff: Here comes his baby, his household, his precious treasure, his (okay you get it) Dance With The Devil single. It’s a friendly instrumental which they did for a laugh but it became seriously successful... (Yes, they didn’t mean to do it but they did) Micky Most ask to Cozy if he wanted to be a single and Cozy said yes thinking that it was not going to be a big deal but *BUM* 1 Million of copies sold (Literally Cozy stayed at home two days laying looking at the ceiling because he can’t believe it) Of course they did the Dance with the devil part 2 which is Man In Black but it didn't work as well as the first one.They did Cozy Powell’s Hammer but it was kinda a fail too although the band had several tour dates.

This is when Cozy met his lost brother (okay no) This is when Cozy tried his best to play good jazz but instead came up this.. jazz fusion-rock-weird thing. So the thing here was: Jeff didn't know how to explain Cozy what the wanted him to play and Cozy was getting mad about it (Jeff: You can do ta.. tatada tss, ts ts ta da ta... Cozy: Honestly Jeff wtf?) so he did what he thought was better for the record and Ta-Da! Rough And Ready was born. Cozy’s drumming is a bit lighter and he uses a lot the cymbals for a swing-jazz rhythm.

Songs with Cozy’s signature: Going Down, Ice Cream Cakes, Situation, Short Business.

2. Rainbow.

(Omg Martina are you fcking crazy????) Yes I didn’t put Rainbow in the first place...A new hope for Cozy (This sounds like Star Wars movie or something)

Okay, this is one of his best eras because he was all recovered of his disappointment in music business in 1975. He literally gave up with music (poor babe) until Ritchie called him (Ritchie: Join my emo band... Cozy: okay) . He was ready and decided to show that he wasn't a poor drummer... and he did.He played all his tricks, he was so unpredictable and powerful. He actually was lead drummer (I’m not sure if that exists) He didn't played with the bass like a normal rhythm section, he played with Ritchie. Cozy live with Rainbow was so unbelievable, like the unexpected fill in Catch The Rainbow, Man On The Silver Mountain... To be honest, the first Rainbow album sounds so plain without Cozy, it’s like.. something is missing (Basically Cozy changed the band). His beat is so heavy, strong and incredible.Also his 1812 Overture which is just mind blowing. He was a happy Cozy in Rainbow, that’s why he played so brilliantly (and he was Ritchie’s goal friend... what is better than that?) Cozy did an amazing job in Rainbow... (No words...)

Songs with Cozy’s signature: Stargazer, Run with the Wolf, Mistreated (Live), Lost In Hollywood, Eyes Of The World, Gates Of Babylon, Light In The Black, All Night Long and.. all.(Literally all)

Now, his first solo work: Basically he had nostalgia for Hammer and the press still had bad relationship with Cozy saying things like “He is just Dance With The Devil and nothing more” so Cozy want to make an album so fantastic to shut them up. He called to his friends and all was ready... but they needed a bassist so Cozy took his chance and asked Jack Bruce if he can play in his album (Cozy was such a Cream/Jack fanboy.. he was almost his male crush lol.) Fortunately for Cozy, Jack said yes and they recorded it. The album had a fantastic success, extremely high success. The album had fantastic songs like Theme One (Courtesy of George Martin), The Killer, El Sid, Heidi Goes To Town and one sweet ballad (Sweetheart) The Loner (Dedicated to Jeff Beck... That is actually very cute).

1. ELPowell

(ARE YOU JOKING?????) No, i’m not joking and i’ll tell you why. Also this is when Cozy became a prog nerd.

The only one reason that I chose ELPowell as best Cozy music era instead of Rainbow... it’s because he stepped out of his Comfort Zone. This is the REAL proof of Cozy’s versatility. He did amazing things in Rainbow yes but in the end was rock and roll... This is different, this is progressive rock (I don’t really care about Progressive people’s discussion about 80s progressive rock... I’m talking only about Cozy) and Cozy didn’t know a THING about progressive and he still did it amazing. Of course, he took what Carl did and he simplified it to carry it to what he can do... and he did it very well. He had to learn all the ELP’s songs studying them (That’s when he accidentally listened to all elp discography and some Genesis, Yes and well... he became a nerd) He started to experiment with new percussion instruments that Carl used before.. (Like those bells that you hit them with a little hammer... no? okay) He became a KONG BOY too. He literally learned a whole new drumming style but of course with his Cozy sound. Tarkus played by Cozy is amazing, and when he is doing the Congas in From The Beginning kills me every time (That tank tee and those muscles...) and those drum solos...(Damn) they are really something else. And this is the same case of Rainbow.. he was recovering from his disappointment in Whitesnake so he was so enthusiastic about playing with Keith and Greg.

Songs with Cozy’s signature: Touch and Go, The Score, Mars the Bringer of War.

THIS IS THE END... GOD this took me an eternity and I explained so much i’m so sorry this is not going to happen again. This is the first and the last time that I’ll make a large post! (For my own mental health) This is so large, I didn’t mean to, sorry! Nobody will read it to the end but I don’t care... and if you do thanks very much this costed me two nights <3 (And sorry if there are any grammar errors)

#goooooood #martina get a grip #large post #i did this? for real?#ill die #cozy powell #look what i have to do for you you bastard #i love cozy #Black Sabbath #whitesnake #rainbow #rainbow band #jeff beck group #jeff beck #michael schenker group #elpowell definitely is the best time for cozy #ELPowell #gary moore #and im so tired to tag more

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daretosnoop · 4 years

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Legend of the Crystal Skull Review:

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!

Atmosphere/Layout:

I loved this game so much! The Nancy Drew games are always stellar at placing you in the world of the game. I have yet to play a series that really roots you in its atmosphere. CRY delivered that at another level. I’ve been to New Orleans, and this game took me back to that trip. I loved how everything in the house was slightly crooked to reflect the kookiness of Bruno Bolet, as well as make things more eerie. I remember how the intro to the game scared me as a kid, yes, I got scared of the Skeleton man as a kid. Imagine freaking out to the skeleton man attack and then cutting to Renee’s creepy eyes as a kid! Even as an adult, Renee’s eyes creep me out, and no way was I ever going to drink that concoction! This game has a lot of odd things that you can eat: mysterious beverage that may or may not kill you, chocolate that definitely will, and expired bubble gum that surprisingly does not kill you. Okay, back to atmosphere. The ambience of the game was consistent, even when you played Bess’s portions which was supposed to take you away from the eeriness of the Bolet house for a bit. The rain effect and the semi-dark state of the house because of the electricity outage definitely amped up the fear and creepiness. You definitely took cautious steps in and out of the house. The graveyard. THE GRAVEYARD. THE GRAVEYARD. I think the exploration of the graveyard might be my favourite exploration spots of all the games. I love how you can see Nancy’s silhouette and hear her shoes as she traversed the grave. It was big enough to pique curiosity, but not so big that you would get lost. I also appreciated how every grave section had its own design as it made things more memorable. I know some people didn’t like the graveyard scavenger hunt, but I relished it! The earlier games (1-5) had this slight ruthlessness to the game play. There was a slight edge that kept the reader hooked and just a touch fearful, and this game maintained that edge. I really appreciated that, especially since it would pater out a bit in later games.

Music:

This game has one of the best tracks: “Legend”. That alone should put it as a game with an amazing music score, but no, they had to add other titles like “Chatter” and “Bruno”. As someone who loves Jazz, I digged this score. So often I would stop and just listen to the music, and could feel myself get pumped whenever “Legend” would play. Honestly, why hasn’t someone created a Nancy Drew Ambience record yet? The jazz music was a nice contrast to the shadowy layout which added to the “everything is slightly unhinged” element of the game. But man, when the danger music would play, I would get chills. Especially when you’re in Renee’s room or in Bruno’s secret room. Surprisingly those two rooms creeped me more then the graveyard!

I also loved the little noises like the sound of rain, or the way the rain hit the windows. Nancy’s heels as she walked through the graves. The skeletal hand for Charlie’s puzzle. The sound Henry’s chair makes when he moves. Etc. etc.

Characters:

Nancy was amazing as usual. It surprises me how she remains unfazed by everything, but I love that side of her. Bess felt a bit out of character with her resistance to participating in snooping. Usually she’s dying to know what’s up, or help Nancy out, but she wasn’t this time. Still, got to had it too her. Not many friends would sneak into a private meeting and demand her rights despite being surrounded by creepy skeletal men. Some of you might scoff, but y’all would be crapping your pants if you were in the same situation.

So since you technically didn’t know there would be a mystery, it made sense that there were only 3 suspects. I like how Nancy doesn’t start out with an investigation. She mostly wants to figure out who the skeletal man was and why he attacked her, and how that simple curiosity leads her to the crystal skull. It’s a nice progression of plot.

Henry: Henry Bolet is handsome. I know some people might not like the arm sleeve thing or painted nails, but it’s 2020, it’s called aesthetic! Her Interactive over here creating male characters who want to paint their nails way before popular culture accepted it/picked up on it. Haters be jealous. I’m kidding. But still, I loved how much depth they put into this character. How with so little, you understood his character. When he complains about how Bruno sent him away as a child, it revealed that Henry is someone who really needs family. He’s aware his emotional needs are higher than the average person, not because he lost his parents, but just who he is by nature. It also makes his attachment to Summer make more sense. We can easily surmise that Summer was probably the first person to give Henry the emotional security he needed, but that it was clearly done for her own selfish desires. Henry’s inability/or refusal to see it also makes more sense. That being said, the moment we learn about Summer, it takes Henry off the suspect list. Up till then, the game does a good job at making him seem suspicious do to his dealings with Lamont. It’s not a bad thing, but since we only have 3 suspects, his removal immediately makes the culprit an easy 50-50 guess. Not to mention the fact that after blackmailing him (which was kind of mean of Nancy to do to someone who is already being emotionally abused by his girlfriend) he gets sidelined for the rest of the game despite there being a good chunk left to play.

Renee: Classic sweet but deadly suspect. Love how the game kept her super suspicious from the way she acted to the way she would emphasize things. For example, I found it so odd that she remembered the exact percentage of who would receive what in the will, like she had been mulling over that. And the way she ends with mentioning that she was to receive 10% compared to the others getting 30%, so subtle a remark yet it catches the ear of any good detective. And of course, the room and her interest in the occult made the suspicion grow. Unfortunately, I found the whole part about authenticating the skull a bit lackluster and kind of gives the culprit away. I mean Renee said “I wanted to find the skull” when Nancy confronts her about hiding information. After such a confession, wouldn’t the obvious follow up question be “why?”. I can only guess they included this to hype up the “chase” for the skull since we know the Dr. Buford is also looking for it, but the game didn’t really deliver on the urgency so this felt like a lackluster confession. It also came close to the end of the game, so when Renee appeared at the end it wasn’t surprising. Nancy’s faith in Renee was odd, and the fact that she just tossed up the skull—face slap! Nancy, she literally confessed 10 min ago, did you forget!? The ending was nice. I liked how she “forgot” to tell Nancy about Bernie (so malicious!), but then actually forgot that Bernie was in the water.

Dr. Buford: He was interesting. Seems nice and charming, but the more we learn about Bruno’s death, the suspicious he becomes. Love how Bess worries about Buford coming back to take the skull. I still don’t understand what exactly the skeletal society does, other then being pirate fans, but I liked the costumes.

Puzzles:

I love a healthy balance between puzzles and dialogue and this game delivered on that. The dialogue was nicely spaced out throughout the game and added to the characters. Each character had their own way of talking and phrases that stayed true to their character. The one exception is Henry’s “I’ve been naughty but I’ll be nice now” line which threw me off so hard. HELLO?? WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS! It’s so random for a college/uni person to say this. Actually, who says this?? I’ll be honest, my mind went a bit dark and wondered just how bad was Summer abusing him for such a dialogue to come out of him……. poor Henry.

But back to the puzzles. I honestly loved most of the puzzles. I know the bowling ball machine (the one where you have to roll all eyes) annoys people, but I enjoyed it. I also know the graveyard scavenger hunt bored people, but I love puns, and l loved the layout of the house and graveyard so much that running back and forth was so much fun. Solving the clock puzzle and teeth puzzle was also fun, and they made me feel like a genius. The first part of the buzzard puzzle wasn’t bad, it was just annoying to have to turn back and see what affect each gargoyle bird did. The book mentioned that the sounds the gargoyle’s made was important, but I didn’t catch anything. I also liked how the final puzzle was a puzzle that built throughout the game. You didn’t know the eye puzzle would be the final big puzzle, but every little puzzle played a role in being a part of the final puzzle. I just thought that was cool, I like interconnected stuff.

There were three puzzles I did not like. The first was with Bess and the box she had to open. The clue was Hamlet and some numbers. I thought that you had to call Nancy and have her check the library for Hamlet and look up those reference numbers. What was the point of writing Hamlet? Nowhere in the letter did it mention that you have to associate the letter to the number and type out what it spells. Also, it did not mention that you had to restart the counting every time! I had to go online for help with this puzzle. The second puzzle was the second part of the buzzard puzzle. After getting the key, which you don’t get a good look at, you’re supposed to use them on the gargoyles. But I didn’t get that, plus the emblem on each gargoyle was just a feather with notches, so how do you know that the key goes there??? Finally, I hated the wasp puzzle. It was annoying and I don’t know why Nancy didn’t take a handful of loquats at once!

Graphics:

They really hold up despite being 13 years old. Sure, it’s a bit weird around the eyes and mouth, but the rest is stellar. Also, I love how they added in certain quirks that matched each character’s personality. Like Henry kicking his legs up to show he’s someone who doesn’t care about bending the rules, little rebellious. But then the fact that he sits proper when talking shows that he’s not so rebellious and is actually trying to be professional. Also shows the contesting sides of his emotional needs and the military training he would have received. Renee’s position over her pots show that she’s someone tricks you into thinking that she loves to work with her hands (lol, end game “this girl just handed me the skull”. I told you I love puns). It also shows that she prioritizes the small things, and the fact that she’s potting despite being recently laid off (she’s the only character still working despite Bruno’s death) makes her a bit unnerving. Dr. Buford at the French quarters show that he’s someone of charm. Etc. etc.

Plot:

Like I said, loved the slow buildup of plot—how one thing led to another. Don’t know why Ned sent Nancy to do his work, but okay…

The Summer plotline felt like it got accidentally dropped. Like the writers forgot to finish it. Even if it’s just Nancy telling Henry that what he has isn’t healthy/good, or something in the end credits where he finally broke up with her. For all we know, they could still be together.

The introduction of the magical qualities of the skull and Bruno’s death was weird. I like how Bruno’s death became questioned, but while his desire for the skull kind of made sense, it didn’t make sense why Buford or Renee wanted it. It still wasn’t clear at the endgame either. I guess there’s the financial prospect, but that subplot kind of pattered out in favour for the magical plot. It also didn’t make sense that Bruno wanted it for Henry, because let’s be real, he wasn’t a good guardian. It really did seem like Bruno didn’t care for Henry. I mean, why give your nephew a skull instead of what he really wanted/needed, a friend. You can take this a bit darker when you realize that Bruno was giving Henry monetary comfort over emotional comfort and that Henry by end game has come to associate monetary gift to be equivalent to emotional gifts, which just makes his relationship with Summer get even darker.

Overall, this was a great game. 10/10. One of my favourites and would play again and again. That’s why I bought it, lol!

~Dare to Snoop

#Nancy Drew #Legend of the Crystal Skull #CRY #Her Interactive #game review #long post

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blog-fthirteen · 3 years

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The Long Runs--Cap Connection, Chapter 6: “Captain America #312″

#312: “Deface the Nation”

Writer: Mark Gruenwald Pencils: Paul Neary Inks: Dennis Janke

The short version: Steve Rogers receives his accrued back pay from the Army--a million dollars! He plans to open the Captain America emergency hotline with it, but Flag-Smasher crashes the launch to spread his anti-patriotic message!

I started this feature five years ago, because I was fascinated with Mark Gruenwald’s decade-long Captain America run and wanted to talk about it.

Five weeks later, Donald Trump was elected President of the United States.

I didn’t feel like talking much about Captain America after that.

Over the years, I thought back to this blog, and wanted to return to it. For various reasons, I did little more than start, scrap and return to this piece all over again.

But a lot has happened in the last five years, and I guess I’m ready to get back to discussing a fictional symbol of a nation built on a huge lie.

Anyway, let’s talk comics.

Captain America #312 is available to read on Marvel Unlimited, to purchase digitally on Comixology, or as part of the Society of Serpents Epic Collection trade paperback.

“With each flag I smash, the liberation of the world is one step closer!”

In this issue, Captain America fights Flag-Smasher, a terrorist who seeks to destroy the concept of nations altogether. He begins the issue destroying the flags at the United Nations, and ends it trying to attack Captain America at a speaking event the latter hosts.

We don’t learn his name this issue, but he does tell his origin story. Flag-Smasher’s father was a diplomat who truly believed in peace, but ended up trampled to death at a protest outside the Latverian embassy. With his own hero dead, Flag-Smasher adopted a philosophy that peace cannot be achieved unless nations, and their symbols, are abolished.

Flag-Smasher is a bad man doing bad things for what he believes are the right reasons, and if there were any deeper characterization, he’d be a much better villain. As it is, he’s a thought exercise, a debate masquerading as a supervillain.

The event he crashes at issue’s end sees Captain America announcing the creation of a nationwide toll-free number to contact him.

Back in issue #311, editor Mike Carlin happened upon a letter from a fan about something weird in his family’s barn. He gave it to Steve Rogers--if you recall, Steve walked in off the street and became the regular artist for the Marvel Universe’s Captain America comic--and when Cap investigated, he found the Mad Thinker’s Awesome Android.

That confrontation stuck in his mind, making him realize he’d focused too much of his time on New York and become too inaccessible to the American people. So how does he change this?

Well, first, he gets a check for a million dollars.

It turns out Steve was never declared legally dead after he was lost in the Arctic at the end of World War II, so his back pay had accrued since 1941. Steve doesn’t actually want the money, but the government disregarded his wish for them to keep it. So he and his fiancée Bernie Rosenthal decide to use the money to create a Captain America emergency hotline.

All of this leads to a big, splashy fight scene that sees Flag-Smasher threaten to kill audience members at the unveiling if they don’t listen to his ideas. And while Cap can see his earnest desire to make the world a better place, he can’t abide willfully placing lives in danger.

Fortunately, a couple of well-timed distractions from the crowd and the police give Cap the opportunity he needs, and he is able to out-fight Flag-Smasher.

Flag-Smasher would return during this run (and a number of times since), but he never became one of Cap’s really iconic villains. Still, some of Gruenwald’s dialogue here is pretty stirring. He writes Flag-Smasher as a man possessed of his ideas, while his Cap is sympathetic, but stands firm for his own ideals.

This isn’t my favorite issue. Sure, Paul Neary’s art is as good as ever, and the action scene at the end is solid. But the Flag-Smasher was a dumb villain in my book, the first dud in Gru’s tenure. I didn’t think he’d amount to much of anything outside of his sporadic appearances in comics, but then time (and Kevin Feige) went and proved me wrong.

Of course, if you’re reading this, you know Flag-Smasher less as a Space Ghost lookalike and more as the anti-nationalist terrorist group at the center of Marvel Studios’ “The Falcon and the Winter Soldier” TV series.

The Flag-Smashers of the MCU have a similar motivation, but with an added complexity necessary for a live-action adaptation. That group believes the world was better when nations loosened their borders and helped others during the five years between “Infinity War” and “Endgame,” and yearns to return the world to that state by stopping the MCU’s Global Repatriation Council from restoring national borders and forcibly relocating refugees.

That’s a much better approach than the 616 Flag-Smasher’s literal flag-smashing. But as the series progresses, the MCU group’s methods become more extreme, and given more to collateral damage. I suppose that’s necessary in order to give the heroes reason to oppose them, but I understand critics who think that trope undercuts their valid arguments.

There’s a bit towards the end of this issue where someone in the crowd calls Flag-Smasher a Communist, and he responds that he hates Communism as much as he hates what America stands for. I thought of that during the intense fan debate over the MCU Flag-Smashers and their methods, about how it’s hard to tackle complex issues in superhero comics.

That isn’t to say it hasn’t been done before. This was far from the first time. But even as superhero comics grew more sophisticated, the genre still found itself facing the limitations of four-color fiction where good guys in long underwear beat up bad guys in body armor. It still pushes back against those limitations today.

Flag-Smasher isn’t the only character from Gruenwald’s run to make it into “The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.” We’ll get to a pretty big one down the road.

And we will get to him. The Cap Connection is back, and I’m in it for the long haul.

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traincat · 5 years

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You're the first person I've come across who doesn't agree with the "friendly neighborhood" tag line or the "Peter 'every man' Parker" notion. If you have time and don't mind me asking, could you please explain why? I read some of your past replies saying he's actually a sarcastic quintessential NYer who doesn't necessarily warm up to everyone to be friendly for the former - does that play into that question? What about "I love Peter because anyone can relate to him"?

So I think there’s two things to address here and that’s the inherent joke in the “friendly neighborhood” moniker and the idea that upholding a character as being “relatable to everyone” being damaging to the individuality of that character.

The friendly neighborhood Spider-Man one is the easiest to address because – it’s a joke. There’s two ways to read “friendly neighborhood Spider-Man”; the first is that he’s being friendly in the neighborhood. The second is that the neighborhood itself is friendly. These are both gigantic lies, which is what makes the joke.

(Spectacular Spider-Man #107)

(Amazing Spider-Man v2 #53)

(Web of Spider-Man #49) You can – and I am, for the record – make the argument that how Peter functions as Spider-Man is positive because he protects ordinary people – but he certainly isn’t being friendly, and nor should he be. The idea that he’s somehow gentler or less physical than other superheroes of his ilk is a big myth. The “friendly” in relation to him is a joke – I mean, he pretty often refers to himself as such when he’s, you know, beating people up.

(Amazing Spider-Man #260) “Peter’s such a gentle boy, I doubt he would ever intentionally hurt anyone!” I think currently “Spider-Man is funny” has become about the character’s personal reputation as someone who quips in battle, but I think the series itself at its best has this really great dry humor to it, and the “friendly neighborhood” joke is definitely part of it, along with how people in Peter’s life who don’t know the secret can’t see what’s in front of them, like the above scene with Aunt May and one of her boarders. It’s like how it’s funny when Aunt May fusses over Peter in early runs and says he’s “such a delicate boy” because the reader knows that of course that’s not true.

If you parse it as he’s the Spider-Man of a friendly neighborhood – well, that’s an even bigger joke, because his neighborhood is New York City. There’s an old joke about how in Los Angeles “have a nice day” means “fuck you” and how in New York “fuck you” means “have a nice day” – and obviously places’ reputations rise and fall, but I don’t think it’s a mistake that the best era for Spider-Man canon was the 80s, when New York was dangerous. Some of my favorite Spider-Man moments are the street level ones, and not the big supervillain battle ones. Peter taking out Harry’s drug dealers, or getting involved in the dealings of corrupt New York politicians, or just tackling regular muggers. I mean, Spectacular Spider-Man #113 LITERALLY wrote a fictional version of the Bernie Goetz subway shootings, but with one of Aunt May’s boarders:

Technically, you could do these stories somewhere else, but moving Spider-Man out of New York takes so much of the personality out of him. There are a lot of Marvel superheroes who reside in New York, but of all of them, Spider-Man is New York – he embodies the spirit of the city in a very particular way, and that means he’s not always nice (but at least he’s pretty funny about it). If New York has an attitude, then so does Peter.

(Spectacular Spider-Man #115)

Which brings us to the “I love Peter Parker because I can relate to him” point, which is that I think the relatable word gets thrown around in a way that doesn’t serve the fictional characters it gets tacked onto. Peter isn’t relatable because he doesn’t have an incredibly individual character, and the things that people relate to in Peter aren’t going to be the same for everyone. I could list ways I relate to him personally, but there are also plenty of ways I don’t relate to the character at all. But you don’t have to have shared experiences with a character to like them, or to be able to see other shades of yourself in them. Look at it this way: being poor as a kid is important to how Peter as a character functions, and a rich person is not going to relate to Peter Parker on that level. It doesn’t mean they don’t understand that fact is important to the character – but lacking that personal experience means they’re not going to see themselves in the character the way someone who grew up poor will. To relate to a character doesn’t mean you have to be just like them – the things people relate to about Peter should be his struggles, his triumphs, his failures, his little everyday frustrations on top of the huge supervillain battles, not what percentage of him resemblances them personally. I’ve said it before, but if he’s relatable to everyone on that level, he’s not a character, he’s a Mad-Lib. There’s also the fact that, put in Peter’s place, I suspect many of us wouldn’t relate to him very much at all – it’s one thing to theorize that, with his specific powers, we’d all be brave and noble and selfless like Spider-Man, but there’s a reason Spider-Man’s life is so hard and, when put in the position where you could use those powers selfishly but improve your own life – I think a lot of people would choose to be selfish. And that doesn’t make them bad people; that’s greater human nature, and it’s something we don’t really have to worry about because as normal humans and not comic book characters we can’t crush a truck like a tin can with our bare hands. But ultimately, in that way, on that scale, he’s not very relatable to a lot of people who otherwise claim to love him. Which doesn’t mean they don’t or that they’re bad fans, because relating to a character shouldn’t be the end all and be all. So I think the way Peter should be related to is that he’s this average guy – he’s not an alien from another planet, he’s not a super soldier who was frozen in an iceberg, he doesn’t have a billion dollars and a butler and a cave in New Jersey – with average life problems like paying for his apartment and having relationship issues that get to carry the same gravity and weight of the supervillain of the month. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his own specific personality and character, and it’s kind of a weird marketing tactic Marvel’s adopted to take a character with so much history and instead of recognizing his longevity and fame as a result of the character being so individual and vibrant, to go “people like him because he’s just like them. All of them. Every single one of them.”

#peter parker #*replies #traincat talks comics #long post/

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aegon · 5 years

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it was so weird watching the americans on tumblr surprised and freaking out when trump won when most of the world knew that would happen. While they keep taking him as a joke, we watched worried as he kept growing and when it was official that the other candidate would be clinton we knew that she didnt stand a chance. Sadly now a re-election seems the most likely scenario but at least Sanders can give a fight, Warren will be even a weaker opponent than Clinton.

I’ve never had a lot of faith in the American public, and when Clinton was chosen as the nominee, I cringed so hard at all her fans jerking each other off at the idea of a woman in power and being totally blind to how fucking racist America really was. Like.....feminism is great and all but where the eff are your priorities???

(also fuck clinton)

Warren has no chance against Trump. She’s a lukewarm Clinton 2.0 without the powerful name. I mean, she literally takes advice from Clinton, is being funded by the big money she once claimed to denounce, supported all of Trump’s military actions and once gave him a standing ovation lmao what a fucking sell-out. Also remember when she claimed to be Native American to “show up” Trump? Wild. W I L D. Trump’s going to destroy her.

I want to believe the DNC would stand behind Bernie if he won the nomination, but I’m worried they’ll pull a fast one and play a dirty game to bring him down. If they do, that’s the end of the Democratic Party. There’s really no going back after eight years of hardcore Republican rule. And that’s not even going into what ramifications this is going to have globally.

But if Bernie does go against Trump, I truly believe he’ll win. I’ve never seen a campaign like his before and I’ve never seen anyone fight for the people the way he has. It’s so damn inspiring and even Republicans have acknowledged what a force of nature he is. I just hope enough Americans get their shit together enough to vote for the right thing - for once.

#anonymous #answered #us politics #aly rants

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wak-after-dark · 5 years

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Still not able to come up with an argument about the Epilogue treating Gamzee (the murderous corpse molester) better than Jade (sat around for 3 years with depression only to have a dog dick and then be abandoned by her friends) huh? Guess you're just an idiot and willingly sucking Hussie's dick for a job at Whatpumpkin down the line. Maybe write some incest porn like IPDG and you'll get hired.

Wow get a load of this guy.

Okay I should probably just delete your comments and not give you the time of day, but you’ve been periodically sending me this kind of ask, and I really have to ask, do you really, really believe you’re someone with some sort of Moral High Ground right now? Like I’m not even defending the Epilogues as masterpieces or trying to shove them down people’s throats. I am literally just enjoying the content the WP Team put out and talking about it, and you come to my Inbox, to spew this accusatory nonsense and flinging insults. If you can’t read the Epilogues in a positive manner, and think they’re dogshit, sure, go ahead, but you’re like, trying to act like I’m some sort of brainwashed sheep and you’re trying to make me see the light. Also “Still not able to come up with an argument“ very passive-aggressive there, I have talked about the Epilogues, my opinions and takes on them, and how I feel about the way they deal with characters at LARGE here, if you haven’t bothered to look for the info, and the several responses to some of your asks, then don’t blame me for it. But sure. Let me talk about every single point you JUST mentioned here like some sort of big Masterpost, and when you don’t agree with my point either way, stop fucking harassing me on Anon, seriously you alone have been making me consider turning anon off entirely, which all things considered may just be the healthiest option I could consider, but here I am!

Okay let’s begin with Homestuck proper. Gamzee is a Villain. He’s framed as such, people have constantly shown backlash against his character because he’s got fans that would like to see him redeemed, since a good chunk of his story happens with him brainwashed or mind-altered in some sort, but every time he’s shown to go back to doing awful things and killing people. He abuses Terezi, kills Karkat, and gets killed by Kanaya in return in one Timeline, and in another he gets locked up in a fridge, ends up in Caliborn’s planet, and trying to serve his Lord just gets beaten up, shot, left half-dead, until his final appearance in which he gets cut in half and absorbed into Lord English. Then, the Epilogues happen, and he becomes the butt of a joke about undeserved redemption arcs. His very existence in Candy is a joke that he’s not worth redeeming, actually, but tries to force himself to ‘seem’ like he has, despite ruining Dirk’s funeral, making Jake and Tavros’ lives miserable, supporting a Fascist ruler, taking advantage of a potential minor, and it all ends up with him being choked, killed, and his corpse being used as a Weekend at Bernie’s joke. Like... Is that really what you consider ‘good treatment of a character’? He gets away with a lot of bullshit, but he’s like. Constantly, and consistently, shown to be unpleasant, gross and awful. Like. He’s an awful person, and a comic relief, that does fucked up shit for most of his appearance, and I am not sure how any of this can be read in any sort of positive light. I’ve seen Gamzee fans MAD at how much he gets shat on.

Meanwhile, let’s take Jade. A huge theme of her character, sadly, is loneliness and isolation. I dislike that, like many Jade fans. She’s forced into depressingly helpless situations where she lacks agency or control over her own body, or the situation she’s in, and it’s shown affecting her greatly. I want my girl to be happy as well. So when the Epilogues came, and had her getting Callie-possessed, that was bad, it was like, AGAIN she gets the shaft. I want her to be happy and do what she wants to do and be badass with her powers! But- Oh wait, none of that is what you’re complaining about!!! You keep insisting on the Dog Dick instead of any of the genuinely heartbreaking things that happen to her. Jade has a dog dick. It is mentioned once in the entire Epilogues. It mildly affects her desire to have a child with Dave, but she doesn’t even shown herself that broken up about it, and had been looking about potential alternatives, even having Rose as a surrogate. There’s not a single joke made in the Epilogues about her HAVING a dog dick, nor any sort of isolation that happens as a product of her genitalia. Is it a weird choice to canonize that headcanon? Yeah! It kind of is! But this is also a reality where Obama and Dirk make out. And if someone is uncomfortable about Jade having a dog dick, or doesn’t like her being more openly sexual, then that’s fine!!! If they have a transphobic read on Jade, that’s fine!!! You can dislike it, and Homestuck, and the Epilogues, and the writers! But I, as a trans woman myself, and one who’s horny on main a lot of the time, liked the freedom Jade expressed to just do whatever she wanted with new partners on Earth C, and her seeming acceptance and lack of conflict at just, having junk. She does fuck up with Dave and Karkat, because she pushes them a bit too hard, specially Karkat, trying to use the Quadrant System to insert herself in a Black relationship. In Candy, this culminates with political tensions breaking Karkat away from the triad, which is bad for everyone involved. But in Meat, Jade states that they can tell her to just stop and she will, because she genuinely likes both Karkat and Dave, but their feelings are too deeply bottled and complex to just come to light. Does this put some tension in her relationship with them? Yeah! Does this ISOLATE her from her friends? No! Karkat and Dave DO still wanna hang out with her even if she’s a bit too much. John and Jade apparently chat online a bunch, and Jake seemed to have a good relationship with Jade before the whole Jane thing. She is close enough with Rose and Kanaya that Rose considered the surrogate mother thing. She has friends and ties! The major things that happen to isolate her is, Karkat leaving- Caused by Jane’s rise to power- Dave dying- Caused by Ultimate Self Timeline Shenanigans- And being possessed by Callie- All things outside of her control. I want her to get her agency back, but beyond that, her, as a person on Earth C, was not abandoned by her friends, and your obsession over her dog dick as a root of her issues and the bad stuff that happens to her says more about you than about the Epilogues in my opinion.

Guess you're just an idiot and willingly sucking Hussie's dick for a job at Whatpumpkin down the line. Maybe write some incest porn like IPDG and you'll get hired.

You know what? Yeah I would love to have a role at WhatPumpkin. Because I’ve seen the people working at it do other things, and I’ve seen their passion for Homestuck. The people currently doing Homestuck love Homestuck, and this is not up for fucking debate. As for the incest porn thing? Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, and a thousand fucking times fuck you. Once again, trying to get some stupid moral high ground mentioning incest. “Oh look at me, I am criticizing someone for something they wrote years ago”, is how you actually sound, and that’s only on the surface. V from Homestuck was never confirmed to be ipgd. V got harassed, and ‘doxxed’ by dubious sources and, I believe, Kiwifarms shit was going on at that time, so that was extremely shady and shitty. And the result of them being equated ended with ipgd being told to kill themself because of old fic they’d written, which, GUESS WHAT, was actually a critic to the way Incest was extremely popular in Fanfic back then, written by ipgd themself, a god damn survivor of that same bullshit they wrote about!!! Congratulations! THAT is the kind of bullshit people like you pull. You just cling to some idea of what’s right and wrong, and end up hurting real people that’ve gone through real shit, instead of considering nuance to your actions and thinking that, HMM, PERHAPS I SHOULD NOT HARASS SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET BECAUSE THEY DID SOMETHING I DON’T LIKE OR HAVE AN OPINION I DON’T AGREE WITH! But nah, let’s go send death threats to people we don’t like, riiiiiiight????

My fandom wish for homestuck 2 is the characters are treated with respect but since every single one of the new authors hate women and only want dirk and jake as well as Dave and Karkat to fuck on screen while Vriska gets comphet child raped by gamzee why bother lol.

Like, I don’t even know what to say. Have you seen like... The rest of the work the WP Team is doing with Homestuck stuff? Addressing actual issues? Doing right by the characters? Acknowledging their fucked up stuff while also showing them in positive lights? A good chunk of the Team, too, is queer? Like if they were all cis straight dudes I could see your complaint but they just. Aren’t??? At all???? Even Taz, who’s probably the biggest Dirk-Jake fan around, absolutely wants the best for other characters, yes, Jade and Rose included, you are just too jaded and blinded by your perception of the Epilogues. Vriska and Gamzee... Yeah that’s iffy. I am not going to defend that, whether it was a mistake with the ages or it was just Gamzee being more awful, that was extremely nasty. There’s also like, suicide and abuse and dictatorship in the Epilogues though. All of this shit that happens is awful, but also it’s not PROMOTING it or saying it’s a good thing? It’s... Fucked up. Comphet though, I dooooooooo want to elaborate on that, because, while I do like the reading of Vriska as being more into women, she does show a near-consistent fascination for Nic Cage and, then, ARquius as someone with a similar aesthetic? Like don’t get me wrong, Vris-Rezi is absolutely the way to go and the healthy thing for Vriska, but also I am not 100% sure if you can gloss over every single one of her relationships with guys as Comphet? (Compbi? Since it’s Trolls) Not to say it justifies anything with Gamzee, that was just nasty. But I feel there’s nuance to talk about Vriska’s sexuality.

Hussie doesn't like his fans or care about Homestuck, how you can read the Epilogue and say the opposite it honestly insane and a complete bold faced lie. Any author that cares about their work would read someone demanding a character be given a dog dick and say no. Any author who cares about their work and their fans wouldn't have released such a purposely bad and painful epilogue and then demand payment for a resolution. Just give up. That's the moral of Homestuck. Give up. It's pointless.

Nah man, you’re just jaded and hurt and projecting. Hussie and the WP Team love Homestuck. It would’ve been so fucking easy to just stop doing Homestuck and move onto something, not even release an Epilogue. It’s like when Homestuck ended. People accused Hussie of a rushed ending with Act 7 back in the day, of disliking Homestuck and the Fans, of having just wrapped it up quickly, but like... If you want to wrap Homestuck up quickly... There were a million fan theories and endings out around that would’ve been so much simpler, easier and basic than what we got. The fact we got Act 7 and all it entailed, the shit the characters go through the Epilogues, of course a lot of awful shit happens, but like... Precisely? If you’re tired of doing something, you just wrap things up. You don’t set up new plot points and mess with the characters and push a new narrative outlook on something. This is the work of an experimental team that still do love the content and characters. Again, you return to the fucking Dog Cock like it’s the biggest sin the Epilogues commit. You haven’t even mentioned Jane’s fascism a single time, but you’ve mentioned Jade’s Dog Fucking Cock like fucking twenty times. Who the fuck cares about what sort of junk Jade has, the Epilogues themselves barely even care, it’s mentioned in the passing and it hardly affects a THING at all. You ask me how I can ‘read the Epilogues and see the opposite of what they say’, and I ask you the exact same thing, because despite all the awful things that happen, Rose and Kanaya keep fighting against tyranny in Candy. Kanaya realizes she’s been brainwashed and chases after Rose because she’s NOT giving up on her wife. Roxy explores their gender identity and finds new things about themself. Karkat gets to live his rebel leader dreams in one Timeline, although with a bitter split from Dave, but ends up together in a proper relationship in Meat. John’s arc in Candy about feeling isolated from a world that seems fake, before realizing his nihilism has hurt the people he cares about and wanting to fix it. Jake’s morale of ‘better late than never’, working up the courage to take Tavros away from Jane- And in HS^2, working as a double-agent trying to sabotage Jane from within? Jane’s been shown at her worst in candy, but in Meat she’s shown to still be redeemable, and that’s exactly what the team’s aiming to do, too.

Like... I can see all the bad stuff that happens. And I find the reactions of the characters to these awful situations are interesting, and the political conflict among friends and the pushing forward in such a dark situation, resonates with me, personally, and some of my own experiences? Not to say, the Epilogues are a Game Over scenario? They are a low point. HS^2 sets up to be the high point. Like... When Game Over happened, a lot of people were like “Welp, Hussie just killed everyone, lol, guess he just got tired of Homestuck”, despite the Retcon Powers being there as the obvious solution. Epilogues, lots of shit happen, and similarly there’s still like a hundred ways to build up from there to a satisfactory resolution? Storytelling can have low points you know. It hurts when it’s characters you care about, duh, specially when it plays into the weaknesses they already acknowledged but fell into again despite themselves. I see why so many people would dislike them and take a more negative vibe from them than they actually convey. But I am still baffled as to why people like you feel entitled to shit on the WP Team and send harassment and insults to people who do enjoy them. You’re not helping anything. You’re not doing anything good. You’re just being a dick.

As for the “demand a payment for a resolution”, they didn’t demand anything? I will be the first one to say that I don’t like the Extra Bonus for 5 bucks, and think it would be better if the Bonus got released like, a month or two after it has for Patrons, an ‘early access’ scenario like I do with my Patreon. And I hope they change this. But aside from that??? The Patreon is optional to support the creators because, it’s not just Hussie, it’s a big team, and they’re also using the Patreon to help them with other projects like Pesterquest and Hiveswap, because we live in a capitalistic hell world and need money to be able to pursue passion projects. The main updates every month- And twice a month starting February- Are completely free for people to read, still, the paywalled content still circulates around the community despite being paywalled, and other paid projects like, Pesterchum, for their scope and the amount of fun they’ve given me, they’re super cheap and worth it.

You ask me how I can ‘see the opposite the Epilogues say’, you tell me that I am an ‘idiot sucking Hussie’s dick for a job at WP’, you act like I am scum and brainwashed and there’s literally no reason why I should ever like something you don’t.

You know what I am though? I am happy and excited about the things I’ve been given! I am happy with the representation I’ve seen the Team push lately. I’m happy with the way the characters have been treated in Pesterquest and have high hopes for HS^2. And I am interested in the events of the Epilogues, while acknowledging that of course a lot of fucked up shit happened in them.

Back when the Epilogues happening and I was reading them, I was reading Candy at like 4 AM and was LOVING the fucked up-ness of the Timeline and wondering what may happen in Meat. I got a PM from a friend asking me to make a channel in a server I’m in, to quarantine Epilogues Discourse, and was genuinely confused as to why there was Discourse going on. I went through the rest of Candy and Meat with some dread waiting for some ball to drop and something to turn really controversial, and I finished them still enjoying them? Obviously there was a lot of awful shit. Obviously there was a lot of things people wouldn’t like. Obviously they were tales that likely alienated a chunk of the Fandom that was looking for a happy ending. But honestly, the unbridled fury and subsequent harassment of people over them is just plain embarrassing. It was confusing then, and it’s even more confusing now, well over half a year since their release, and still sending random Tumblr Blogs this kind of bullshit.

So there you go! All of your questions and your bullshit, answered! Now let’s get this out of the way: You’re not going to like my answer, you’re not going to agree with a majority of what I just said, you’re not going to CARE about any of what I just said. Spare me the fucking asks and anon hate. Just move on and do something productive with your time.

#Homestuck #Epilogues #Discourse #HSE #After Dark #Anon Hate #Long Post #Longpost

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thecollegefootballguy · 4 years

Text

The Real Big Ten West

Hello everybody. I enjoyed my look at the various three-way rivalry series in college football and I came to the conclusion that there should be a few more.

One of the three-way rivalries that absolutely needs a trophy is the original Big Ten West: Iowa, Minnesota, and Wisconsin. All three of these schools consider each other rivals and have some of college football’s oldest and coolest rivalry trophies: Paul Bunyan’s Axe and Floyd of Rosedale.

I propose a new trophy be created and handed out to the winner of the three-way series. Call it something related to that region or those schools. Something original like Floyd Bunyan’s Axe. I’m gonna go ahead and say that the rules governing the trophy be modeled around the Commander-in-Chief’s Trophy or the Michigan MAC Trophy. The simplest tiebreakers are often the best, so if a tie comes up just leave the Trophy in the hands of the current champion.

Of course I took the trouble to chart out the history of this fake trophy, so let’s go and see who wins Floyd Bunyan’s Axe.

The Early Days: 1890-1917

We begin our story on November 5, 1890, the first time that Minnesota and Wisconsin met on the gridiron. The Golden Gophers won 63-0. A year later Minnesota and Iowa played for the first time, a 42-4 Gopher victory. It took three more years to complete the circle when the Badgers and Hawkeyes played, a 44-0 Wisconsin win.

Minnesota and Wisconsin were founding members of the Western Conference in 1892. It was the first ever college football conference and the original incarnation of the Big Ten. Iowa joined in 1899 and were very much treated like a junior partner for some time.

Minnesota and Wisconsin immediately dove into a competitive rivalry. Their game began being played later in the season, though usually it wasn’t the end of season game. The Gophers and Badgers traded off streaks in the series, with no team dominating for more than four years.

The Iowa rivalry took much longer to develop as a program. Those early meetings turned out to be one-offs. After their first game in 1891, the Hawkeyes wouldn’t play Minnesota again until 1901. Even then it was an on-again, off-again kind of thing. Wisconsin played Iowa even less frequently.

Under head coach Henry Williams, the Gophers turned into one of the top teams in college football. In Williams’ first season in 1900, Minnesota went 10-0-2. In 1903 they were again undefeated with an impressive 14-0-1 record, with the one tie coming against fellow undefeated Michigan. In those early years, the Wolverines were Minnesota’s biggst rival. Both schools were two of the first big national powers outside of the Northeast.

In 1904, the Golden Gophers were a perfect 13-0 and claimed their first ever national championship. It was a definite high point under Williams. The Gophers would win five more Western Conference championships but wouldn’t again compete for national titles until the 30′s.

This whole time, Iowa remained marginalized by Minnesota, Wisconsin, and the rest of the conference. The Hawkeyes had several good seasons but were clearly far behind the others, who would not have considered Iowa rivals back then.

Floyd Bunyan’s Axe Record Minnesota: 16 Wisconsin: 12

Minnesota and Wisconsin completely dominated Iowa in this era. Of course, neither team played the Hawkeyes all that much in this span which contributes to this disparity, but when they did play Iowa couldn’t manage a single win.

Despite the Gophers’ national championship period in the early 1900′s, Minnesota only just edges out Wisconsin. The Badgers were able to get the better of their rivals in the late 1890′s and late 1900′s.

Iowa Joins the Fray: 1918-1931

In 1916, Iowa hired former Yale national champion coach Howard Jones to come to Iowa City. Jones immediately flipped the dynamic between the Hawkeyes and their would-be rivals. Iowa beat Minnesota in 1918, their first win in the series. They won their next four games against the Gophers and five of the next six. Howard Jones left Iowa following the 1923 season, but that was after two undefeated seasons in ‘21 and ‘22.

In 1924, the Hawkeyes played Wisconsin for the first time in seven years, and finally notched their first win over the Badgers. UI and UW would meet for the next five seasons. They weren’t annual rivals yet, but the series was beginning to be played on a more regular basis.

By the mid-20′s Minnesota reasserted themselves as both Iowa and Wisconsin receded to the bottom of the Big Ten. The Gophers weren’t yet back to challenging for the conference championship every year but they won a league title in 1927 under Clarence Spears, who would later coach the Badgers in the mid-30′s.

Floyd Bunyan’s Axe Record Minnesota: 21 Wisconsin: 13 Iowa: 8

Iowa makes a splash under Howard Jones, winning five trophies in a row and seven of eight from 1918 to 1925. Never mind that half of them via tiebreaker scenarios, but if Wisconsin wanted the trophy they should have played the Hawkeyes. 1925 itself was a weird year because both Minnesota and Wisconsin tied with a 1-0-1 record in the eligible games, but 0-2 Iowa got to keep the trophy because no winner could be declared.

Minnesota did a good enough job in the late 20′s, though it was mostly because both the Badgers and Hawkeyes fell towards the bottom of the standings. Wisconsin was pretty miserable. The Badgers should have had some kind of claim on the tiebreakers that Iowa won from 1920-22 and 1925, but it didn’t play out that way.

Minnesota was able to distance themselves from Wisconsin in the all-time standings, and at the same time formerly hapless Iowa was able to make up a lot of ground despite remaining in last place. At least Iowa was finally able to start playing the Golden Gophers on a yearly basis from this point on.

The Bierman Era: 1932-1949

In 1932, Minnesota hired star Tulane head coach Bernie Bierman to replace the departed Fritz Crisler. Bierman wasted absolutely no time turning the Gophers back into a powerhouse. Minnesota went a unique kind of undefeated in 1933, going 4-0-4. The following years, the Golden Gophers smoothed over those ties and began to properly win out.

Minnesota went 23-1 from 1934 to 1936, winning back to back to back national championships. The Gophers were a perfect 8-0 those first two seasons and were awarded the first ever AP National Title in 1936 despite a 7-1 finish. Minnesota won Big Ten championships in the following two years, but didn’t claim any AP titles.

After a reset year in 1939, the Golden Gophers again went undefeated in 1940 and 1941, and claimed national titles both seasons. Minnesota was suddenly the hottest program in the country, having won five championships in eight years. It’s interesting to think what would have happened if World War II didn’t come and mess everything up.

Bierman was drafted into the Army, where he served as the coach of the Iowa Pre-Flight team in 1942. The Gophers muddled through several so-so seasons before Bierman came back in 1945 to again turn things around. Unfortunately Minnesota wasn’t as good this time around. While competitive, the Golden Gophers were unable to win another Big Ten or national championship before Bierman retired in 1950.

For the most part, Wisconsin and Iowa fell between average and below average during the Bierman era. However, the Badgers did manage an 8-1-1 campaign in 1942 that saw them finish 3rd in the AP poll. The loss was against Iowa. Wisconsin was awarded a national title by the Helms Athletic Foundation, likely for beating #1 Ohio State.

Floyd Bunyan’s Axe Record Minnesota: 36 Wisconsin: 15 Iowa: 9

Minnesota completely dominated its rivals under Bernie Bierman. The Golden Gophers were more in competition with Michigan and Ohio State for mastery of the Big Ten than with their regional rivals and that’s more than reflected in the all-time standings.

As all three of the rivalries were strengthened during this period. A trophy called the Slab of Bacon was introduced between Minnesota and Wisconsin starting in 1930. The Slab showed either an M or W depending on the way it was hung and the winning team was able to claim they “brought home the bacon” upon winning. It’s so charmingly Midwest. The Slab was lost in 1942 following a rare Badger victory during this period. In 1948, the Slab was officially replaced by a new Trophy, Paul Bunyan’s Axe, which would become one of the more iconic travelling trophies in football.

In 1935, Iowa and Minnesota began competing for Floyd of Rosedale. It was a friendly gesture meant to smooth over an ugly racial incident between Minnesota’s team and fans with Iowa’s star halfback Ozzie Simmons. The first year a real pig was exchanged, and then a large bronze trophy was made to be passed down through the subsequent years.

In 1937, the Hawkeyes and Badgers finally started playing on an annual basis, completing the proper 3-way rivalry.

The Age of Parity: 1950-1976

Well, it wasn’t quite real parity, but each team got some licks in. Following the retirement of Bernie Bierman following the 1950 season, Minnesota hired Wes Fesler who didn’t win and was then fired him three years later. Fesler was replaced by the much more capable Murray Warmath.

Warmath would stay in Minneapolis for nearly two decades, and was the Gophers’ last coach to truly achieve greatness. Minnesota wasn’t a consistent powerhouse, but they would ping pong up and down the standings, sometimes competing and sometimes failing. In 1960, the Golden Gophers were managed an 8-1 record in the regular season and were accorded their most recent national championship by the major polls. Of course they then lost the Rose Bowl to #6 Washington, but hey, things were different back then.

Minnesota would make and win the Rose Bowl in 1961, and would tie for the Big Ten championship in 1967, but after that they entered a period of decline that they really haven’t ever recovered from. Never again would the Gophers be a true blue blood program.

One of the teams that the Gophers beat in 1960 en route to their “championship” was Forest Evashevski’s #1 Iowa Hawkeyes. Iowa hired Evashevski in 1952 and immediately broke back into the upper crust of the Big Ten. The Hawkeyes made and won their first Rose Bowl following the 1956 season, wrapping up a 9-1 campaign and a #3 ranking. Two years later Iowa achieved a final #2 ranking behind an 8-1-1 season and another Rose Bowl. The Football Writers Association sought fit to award Iowa a national championship for their year, though the consensus title went to undefeated LSU.

The Hawkeyes ended the 1960 season in the top three and a share of the Big Ten title once again, though they had to see their rivals crowned national champions. Following the season, Evashevski stepped down as coach to become Iowa’s AD. Evashevski wasn’t capable of hiring a coach as good as himself, and the Hawkeyes entered a tailspin for the whole of the 60′s and 70′s, passing through a series of coaches, some of whom hated the domineering Evashevski.

Despite both Iowa and Minnesota hiring two of their best coaches near simultaneously, Wisconsin was able to keep up with their rivals for the most part. The Badgers would never go undefeated, but they would occasionally win the Big Ten and make Rose Bowls in the 50′s and 60′s. Wisconsin was led by Ivy Williamson from 1949 to 1955, and went 41-19-4 in that span with a Big Ten championship in 1952.

Milt Bruhn was in Madison for a decade and took the Badgers to two more Rose Bowls in 1959 and 1962. #2 Wisconsin’s 37-42 loss to #1 USC in Pasadena cost them a national championship.

As the 60′s turned to the 70′s, all three programs began long periods of decline.

Floyd Bunyan’s Axe Record Minnesota: 45 Wisconsin: 28 Iowa: 14

This two and a half decade period is easily the most competitive between all three teams, though for different reasons. Iowa, Minnesota, and Wisconsin all had outstanding seasons in the 1950′s and early 60′s. The trio won or tied for several Big Ten titles in this span. However, by the mid-60′s each team was on the way out, and each series remained competitive mostly because all three were clustered together towards the bottom of the standings.

Football in the Big Ten was more and more centered around the twin suns of Michigan and Ohio State, who attracted the best talent and dominated the conference for the next several decades. One or more of Minnesota, Iowa, and Wisconsin may have been able to attract or develop better players, but they were also boxed out by Nebraska and Oklahoma of the Big 8, who snagged all of the best guys in the Western half of the Midwest the same way UM and OSU dominated the Eastern half.

Wisconsin wound up with 13 Trophies compared to Minnesota’s 9 and Iowa’s 5. The Badgers did have the most help from tiebreakers, while the Hawkeyes received none. This leads to more of a stratification in our all-time standings. Wisconsin has double the number of trophies as Iowa, but nearly half as many as the Gophers who hold a commanding lead.

The Fry Era: 1977-1996

Iowa was pretty terrible in the mid-70′s, but so were Minnesota and Wisconsin. That all changed in 1979 when former SMU and North Texas State head coach Hayden Fry came to Iowa City. Fry took two years to straighten things out but then Iowa turned into a competitive force in the Big Ten.

The Hawkeyes went 8-3 in 1981 and tied Ohio State atop the league standings, earning a Rose Bowl berth. Iowa won at least eight games a year for the next six seasons. From 1981 to 1988 the Hawkeyes attended eight straight bowls and finished ranked seven times. 1985 was the apex: Iowa went 10-1 in the regular season, at one point rising to #1 in the polls before falling to Ohio State. The Hawkeyes won the Big Ten outright but lost to UCLA in the Rose Bowl to sink to 10-2 and #10 in the final AP.

Iowa would win the Big Ten again in 1990 despite an 8-4 finish, and in ‘91 the Hawkeyes went an impressive 10-1-1. They’d never again reach these same heights under Fry, but Iowa continued to be a presence in the conference throughout the 90′s.

And what were Minnesota and Wisconsin doing while the Hawkeyes were nipping on Michigan’s and Ohio State’s heels? A whole lot of nothing. The Golden Gophers were treading water through the 80′s and 90′s. They weren’t always that bad, but they were almost never good either. The Badgers were usually even worse. Outside of a few 7 wins seasons in the early-80′s Wisconsin was a regular bottom feeder.

However, everything changed when Barry Alvarez was hired in 1990. It took Alvarez a few years to clear away the rot, but he turned the Badgers back into a regular powerhouse. Wisconsin went 10-1-1 in 1993 with a win over UCLA in the Rose Bowl.

Floyd Bunyan’s Axe Record Minnesota: 48 Iowa: 31 Wisconsin: 28

As you can see, Iowa made up a ton of ground, leaping over Wisconsin in the all-time standings by absolutely dominating the 80′s and 90′s. There was some weirdness from 1978-81. For four straight years Minnesota beat the Hawkeyes, but lost to Wisconsin while Iowa beat the Badgers. This led to a three-way tie every year so the Hawkeyes got to keep the trophy each time, having won it in 1977.

Minnesota won a couple trophies here and there but really, this was the Iowa show. Much of this success can be attributed to the Hawkeyes’ complete domination of Wisconsin. Iowa didn’t lose to the Badgers for 20 years from 1977 to 1996. At the very worst they would tie the Gophers in the standings during this period.

Like I said, Barry Alvarez had Wisconsin turned around by 1993, but the Badgers weren’t yet able to capitalize on their success by beating the Hawkeyes. The series took a two year hiatus in 1993-94 from a scheduling hiccup following Penn State’s entry to the league, which was probably Wisconsin’s best chance to beat Iowa until close to Fry’s retirement.

Kirk Ferentz vs Wisconsin: 1997-2019

The Badgers really came into their own at the end of the 90′s, winning two straight Rose Bowls following the 1998 and ‘99 seasons and finishing in the top 5 both years. It was easily their best period in program history in over 50 years. It came right as Iowa began to fall off towards the end of Hayden Fry’s tenure.

The legendary Fry had pulled Iowa out from irrelevance, but it was his time to go. The Hawkeyes went a pathetic 3-8 in his last season in 1998, but that only brought down his all-time record in Iowa City to 143-89-6. Fry’s replacement was Kirk Ferentz, who was a disciple of Fry’s in the early 80′s before becoming an NFL OL coach.

After a couple of transition years, Iowa was once again back on top, competing with Michigan, Ohio State, and rival Wisconsin for the top spot in the league. The Hawkeyes tied for the Big Ten title in both 2002 and 2004, though they weren’t selected for the Rose Bowl either season. Iowa was never a consistent contender for the conference championship, but Ferentz has kept them above .500 for the better part of two decades. The Hawkeyes did make the Rose Bowl in 2016 after finishing as league runner up behind Michigan State.

Barry Alvarez retired following the 2005 season and a career 119-72-4 record, handing over the reigns to DC Bret Bielema. Bielema was able to keep the train rolling, and the Badgers surged forward as both Ohio State and Michigan hit rough patches in the late 2000′s and early 2010′s. The Badgers attended three consecutive Rose Bowls from 2011 to 2013 before Bielema left for Arkansas. Gary Andersen’s brief tenure gave way to another Alvarez disciple, Paul Chryst, who has won 10 or more games in four of his five seasons in charge.

Minnesota hasn’t done as well. Glen Mason was able to pull the Gophers back into respectability in the early 2000′s, but was fired all the same for not continuing to improve. His successors have been far less successful. Indeed Minnesota almost seems cursed. The Gophers are on the far Northwest edge of the conference, unable to draw 4 and 5 star talent to Minneapolis as long as OSU, Penn State, and Michigan are sucking up all the oxygen, and nearer rivals Iowa and Wisconsin are plucking up all the good 3 stars.

Jerry Kill was building a strong program but he was forced into retirement by health issues. Kill’s replacement, Tracy Claeys, was doing nearly as good a job but was fired for bungling the PR in a criminal case involving his players. PJ Fleck also seems to be pointing the Golden Gophers in the right direction, but time will tell if they can keep up with their rivals.

Floyd Bunyan’s Axe Record Minnesota: 48 Wisconsin: 44 Iowa: 38

As you can see, it has been all Wisconsin and Iowa in this new century, and mostly Wisconsin at that. The Badgers have won 16 trophies to the Hawkeyes’ 7 in this span.

Minnesota has seen their large lead in the all-time series standings quickly erode. Only 10 titles separate the Gophers and third place Iowa. It really does come down to coaching. Minnesota hired dud coach after dud coach starting in the 70′s and have never been the same. The few good coaches they have either leave (Lou Holtz) or are forced out by unforeseen circumstances (Kill, Claeys). Glen Mason’s firing is really on the Gopher administration, that really shouldn’t have happened.

Meanwhile, Iowa and Wisconsin have made stellar hires. The Hawkeyes moved from strength to strength when Hayden Fry turned over the reigns to Kirk Ferentz. Those two men have kept the Iowa competitive for the past 40 years. Wisconsin’s revival under Barry Alvarez has similarly been sustained by his successors.

It’ll be interesting to see where this three-way rivalry goes from here. My money is on Wisconsin staying on top, the Badger brand is strong and there’s no guarantee that Fleck will have Minnesota being able to compete on a yearly basis. Ferentz has to retire at some point, so Iowa has to once again hit a slam dunk hire to stay in the running.

Since their accession to the league in 2011, Nebraska has made this something of a four-way rivalry. The Cornhuskers transformed their existing on-again, off-again out of conference rivalries with Iowa and Minnesota into trophy games to replace their old Big 8 rivalries.

Whether Nebraska is or isn’t a part of the equation doesn’t matter too much to me, but Iowa, Minnesota, and Wisconsin absolutely should make a three-way rivalry Trophy. Maybe don’t call it Floyd Bunyan’s Axe, but do it!

Thanks so much for reading. I'll be doing a few more of these hypothetical rivalry trophies because, well, we might not be getting real football any time soon.

-cfbguy

#college football #Iowa Hawkeyes #Minnesota Golden Gophers #Wisconsin Badgers

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