#bert were writing words together

[tr4umaborn]

“ i thought it was a good time to pay you a visit. it’s been so long, after all; and we have so much to catch up on. ” 👀

when oz said he was in town, louis wasn't exactly sure what that would mean for them. funny enough, oz is one of the few creatures out there he'd consider someone he'd wanted to be around. there's no funny business, well not the kind louis is used to anyway. it's just. . . calmness. so sure, they can catch up. something about it feels easy, even if his eyes keep darting to the man across the bar from them who he'd bought a drink for earlier.

what? it's an easy place to take his fill and hide the evidence. no one is exactly questioning it when a man has their face in another man's neck in a gay bar. " now's a good as time as any. how you been? "

[ariesqueencobra]

what we used to be | Vll

Pairing: Eli Moskowitz x Fem!Reader

Summary: You're going to your first high school party, who would've thought there'd be so much drama?

Warnings: underage drinking, mild violence, flashbacks to bullying, bullying, references to kissing

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: Two chapters in a week?! Another short chapter but I do love this one! One of my favorite scenes to write so far!

Thank you to those who already reblog and comment, I see you and I love you all for it!

I don't consent to this work being copied, translated or reposted.

It was a nice day outside, and you and your friends decided to spend it at the park before the tournament tomorrow. 

While your nerves were at an all-time high, you tried to keep focus on the moment before you, knowing it’d be better to worry about it when the time came. You sat between Miguel and Aisha, Demitri sitting next to the former while Eli continued practicing with Bert behind you all.

Aisha was on her phone and the rest of you were listening to Miguel talk about seeing another guy have dinner with the LaRussos. Of course, out of all the explanations, he thinks he was Sam’s side piece.

“All right, so you saw her eating dinner with some chode,” Eli said before kicking Bert in the face, causing him to fall to the ground.

You snickered at his words but quickly sent a reassuring glance at Miguel.

“It’s probably her brother or something.”

“No,” Miguel argued. “Brothers don’t look at their sisters like that.” 

“Depends on what part of the country you’re in,” Demitri said.

You laughed at that.

“I don’t want what happened to Sensei to happen to me,” Miguel exhaled.

“It’s not gonna happen if you don’t communicate that to Sam,” you pointed out. “Tell her how you feel, be honest, she’ll appreciate it in the long run,” you offered.

Miguel pressed his lips together in defeat, unsure if he wanted to go your route.

“Nah, go over and beat his ass so he doesn’t have the chance,” Eli countered, walking over and leaning against the bench between you and Miguel.

You sent him a look. 

“If someone was swinging in on my girl, that’s what I’d do,” he shrugged, sending you a wink.

You felt your cheeks heat up, ignoring what he said about beating up someone. Your mind was too focused on him calling you “his girl”. 

“Don’t listen to, Eli,” Demitri said.

“It’s Hawk.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Demitri rolled his eyes.

You furrowed your brows, turning your attention back to Miguel. “She’s given you no reason not to trust her,” you said.

“I guess you’re right,” Miguel exhaled.

You were glad you got through to him when Aisha shouted at her phone.

“That little bitch!”

You jumped at her voice but were interested in what happened.

“Look what she commented under my post,” she held her phone in front of you, finding that Yasmine commented something horrible under her video of breaking a board.

“We gotta do something,” Aisha gritted.

“How about we kidnap her and have my boy Rico tattoo “bitch” on her face,” Eli smirked.

You snickered, not hating the idea. Yasmine deserved something worse than “bitch” tattooed on her face after all the hell she put you through.

“Calm down, Hawk,” Demitri mocked.

“I hear how you’re saying it and I don’t like it,” Eli spat. 

You reached over your shoulder to squeeze his arm, calming him. Turning back to Aisha, you spoke, “She’s having a party?” You saw the Insta story.

“Not if we strike first,” she smirked.

You smiled, liking where this was heading.

A few moments later you found yourself at the convenience store. While everyone else was buying snacks, you were on the phone with your dad. 

“It’s just a small party at the Canyon, I’ll be home at a reasonable hour,” you explained.

“You said you were gonna be at the park this morning, what changed?” He asked.

You sighed. “Plans were made,” you shrugged. “It’s just gonna be me and a few kids hanging out. Eli and Demitri will be there,” you chewed on your lip, hoping the mention of their names would make him more inclined to agree.

It didn’t.

“I don’t want you going to that party, I know there’s going to be alcohol there,” he said. 

“No there won’t,” you said even though you knew there would be. “You and Mom said I could do whatever as I long as I let you know where I am and who I am with,” you reasoned.

You heard a commotion on the other side, knowing your mom was convincing him.

“Okay, fine, be home at 10 sharp, a minute late and you’re grounded,” he ordered.

You beamed before hanging up, just in time for your boyfriend to walk out with a case of beer in his hand and a bag in the other. 

“I got you your favorites,” Eli smirked, handing you the bag. 

You smiled, thanking him and letting him know your parents permitted you to go. 

“I can’t believe you managed to get beer, when did you even get the fake ID?” You asked, leaning into his side as he wrapped his arm around you.

“I got my ways, babe,” he smirked. “Let’s have fun tonight, yeah?” 

You agreed. 

~

You’ve never been to a party before. 

Jumping from your Friday movie nights with your best friends to attending a party in the Canyon where everyone from school was—the feeling was overwhelming but in the best way possible. 

“If you were told a year ago that you’d join a karate dojo, dye your hair blue, get a back tattoo, and be dating me, would you believe it?” You smiled, hand intertwined with Eli’s as you sat in front of the fire. 

“Nah,” he shook his head, a smile appearing on his face. “But I would be the happiest to know we’re dating,” he hummed, pulling you in close. 

“You’re cute,” you booped his nose. “I’m gonna get a drink,” you said before standing up, passing Demitri on the way.

You joined Aisha, smiling as you approached.

“You seemed busy a few minutes ago,” Aisha chuckled. “Came to hydrate?” She joked as you grabbed a water.

“Haha,” you joined in but your cheeks heated up when you realized she saw you and Eli making out before. 

“I’m curious, how did you handle the change from Eli to Hawk?” She asked. 

“He’s still Eli to me, just with a different appearance,” you shrugged. “Sure sometimes I would like to run my hands through his hair, now I can’t,” you averted your gaze. “But he’s happy, who am I to get in the way of that?” 

She hummed in agreement.

“It’s half past nine, should probably get you home before your dad gets mad,” Eli came up behind you, arm finding home around your shoulders.

“Oh yeah, for sure,” you smiled. 

About to say bye to Aisha, you were stopped by Moon walking up to you two. 

“Y/N, glad I found you,” she smiled. “I wanted to apologize,” she sincerely said. 

You raised a brow, glancing at Aisha who sent you a reassuring look. Your composure was stiff and all you could think of was her and Yasmine laughing as they dumped your vandalized sketchbook in the trash.

“For all of it, I hope we could be friends,” Moon added.

You furrowed your brows, not understanding where this was coming from. You took a step back, Eli making sure you were grounded and you searched his eyes, wondering if he was hearing the same thing.

“Oh, hey! Y/N!” Yasmine beamed when she spotted you. “We’ve been looking for you,” she walked towards you with Moon at her side, her arms behind her back.

“We wanted to give this back,” Moon said just as Yasmine held out a similar yellow book with lavenders painted on it. 

Your heart dropped and you froze. 

She wagged it in your face but you couldn’t move. 

Eli just stood beside you, his eyes trained on you, searching for any sign of expression.

“Oh, well, if you don’t want it, I guess it’s trash,” Yasmine shrugged, dumping it in the garbage next to you guys. “Later, slut,” she spat towards you.

The two began cackling like crazy, leaving you with tears welling in your eyes. 

Anger bubbled inside you as that moment replayed in your head. All those years of torment and all she had to say was “sorry”? With a reassuring look from Eli, you spoke. 

“I appreciate the apology, Moon, but I don’t accept it,” you frowned.

She was taken aback, even Aisha.

“I-,” she searched for words.

“You made my life miserable,” you stepped forward. “You destroyed my art and personal property, you slut-shamed me,” you narrowed your gaze, searching her face. “Your friends hurt my friends. One apology isn’t going to make it go all away.”

She paused before opening her mouth. “You’re right,” she admitted. “I’m sorry for thinking we could change things so quickly, but I do genuinely want to be friends,” she offered a smile.

You felt your composure fall and you let out a breath. You passed her a small smile. “Baby steps,” you hummed. 

“Hey!” A wisp of blonde hair filled your vision and you backed into Eli when you realized it was Yasmine.

She focused her attention on Aisha. 

“You think it’s funny crashing my party?”

“It’s not really your party ‘cause we were here first,” Aisha gritted. 

“Yeah, well I know you and your little karate gang think you’re cool, but we all remember who you really are,” she smirked, gazing over you.

You tasted bitter, frown deepening as you made eye contact with her.

“You’re just a fugly bitch and all your friends are freaks,” she spat, calling Moon over to leave. 

“No, I’m staying. I apologized to Aisha and Y/N, you should too,” she looked at her friend.

Obviously, Yasmine didn’t take that well, bumping shoulders with Aisha as she stalked off.

That wasn’t until Aisha called after her. 

You watched as your friend reached down her pants, pulling her underwear up and giving her a front wedgie. You doubled over in laughter, feeling proud of her. 

Your first highschool party was definitely one to remember.

[holmesxwatson]

Sherlock Holmes BBC audio dramas with Clive Merrison and Michael Williams

This is my humble post to let you know that these excellent audio dramas exist if you don't already. They star Clive Merrison as Sherlock Holmes and Michael Williams as Dr. John Watson and were released from 1988-1998. These audio dramas cover the entire ACD canon books and stories and they are, as of this writing, the only dramatized version of the entire canon where the same actors portray Holmes and Watson.

You can find lots more info at merrisonholmes.com. There's also a book about the series by the producer Bert Coules available from Wessex Press. And in addition to the entire canon, there's also another set of dramatized stories called The Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. These are original stories written by Coules based on cases that are mentioned in the canon. These stories also feature Merrison as Holmes, with Andrew Sachs as Watson and were released between 2002-2010. Each story ends with a credit to the original ACD story where the case was referenced.

I'm in the US and I listened to all of these on Audible, the novels come in one set and the others are available by collection as The Adventures, The Memoirs, The Return, His Last Bow, and The Casebook. And it looks like Audible will be releasing them as a complete set in September 2023. What an excellent use of one credit!! The easiest way to find them on Audible is to search for "Clive Merrison."

Okay, so here's my personal pitch. Just one little example out of many of how cool these audio dramas are that might get you interested. The Lion's Mane is one of only a few stories in canon that are narrated by Holmes himself. Here's a snippet:

At this period of my life the good Watson had passed almost beyond my ken. An occasional week-end visit was the most I ever saw of him. Thus I must act as my own chronicler. Ah! had he but been with me, how much he might have made of so wonderful a happening and of my eventual triumph against every difficulty! As it is, however, I must needs tell my tale in my own plain way, showing by my words each step upon the difficult road which lay before me as I searched for the mystery of the Lion's Mane.

In the BBC audio drama, Holmes is visited by Watson, one of his "occasional week-end visits" and as an entertainment, Holmes lays out the case he just solved to Watson to see if he can solve it on his own. He gives him all the details, takes him around to the locations, and they work through the case together. It is absolutely the most adorable thing ever! They even have an exchange at the beginning of the episode about the actor William Gillette playing Holmes in a play, just a fun little meta thing that happens.

Anyway, I really recommend giving these a try. It definitely helped me fill that need for more Victorian Holmes and Watson after I finished watching the whole Granada series. Come for the dramatized canon adventures, stay for the lovely relationship between Holmes and Watson accentuated by the sounds of horses hooves on cobblestone and matches lighting pipes in the sitting room of 221B.

Here’s a clip from The Lion’s Mane:

[atths--twice]

20 Fanfic Questions

I was tagged by @baronessblixen during the craziness of Fictober and I didn't get a chance to read her responses to her own questions until today. I also had the time to answer my own 20 questions. 😊

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

283 

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

1,638,714. And the vast majority of those words have been written on my phone. I would say… about 95% of them. (Please imagine a blinking eye gif here, because whaaaaaat…😳)

3. What fandoms do you write for?  

Mainly The X-Files, but I have written one for Sex Education and also a Mary Poppins story. (Bert and Mary were my first ship. I saw it in the movie theater in 1980 when I was five years old.  Even that young, I had a little shipper heart because I wanted them to be together so badly.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Per Cor Meum 

Soulmates 

Shared Kisses

Green Is Not Your Color

After the Credits

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?  

Yes and no. I used to be much better about it, but I so often don’t respond on ao3, but I do on social media outlets. I think it’s more the ease of it and the accessibility of a social media site. But I absolutely love and appreciate every single comment. I cry or laugh over them and always share them with my bestie. They make me incredibly happy. ❤️

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?  

I don’t think I have any. I try to leave the story with a somewhat happy ending, or at least a hopeful one. That’s always my goal because… maybe there’s hope. 

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?  

Hmm… most of them. Like I said, I try to leave them hopeful and at least attempt happiness where it may not have been previously. 

8. Do you get hate on fics?  

I have before, but only a couple. The one that sticks with me the most though was from an anonymous person who left a comment that said when an idea is discussed on social media and a story is suggested to be written about said discussion, I’m always quick to get a story out, before giving others a chance to do the same. So as a result, I’m a horrible person who writes “insipid” stories just to say I did it first and “you just… you SUCK at it.”

When I first read that, it hurt for sure, because it made the time I spent writing a story that immediately popped into my head and would not stop begging for my attention, seem trivial and small. It made me feel as though my writing was inconsequential and I should stop wasting my time doing it. It put a dark cloud over me for a wee bit, but then I got past it, though it still sticks in the back of my head there and I think about it from time to time. But I’m still here and still writing stories, almost at 300 now, so whoever wrote that can go ahead and get fucked. ✌

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes I do, but not always. And I suppose by kind, it means mild or hardcore, so I would say somewhere in between. 😂

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? 

No. I’ve not done that as of yet. 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Stolen, no. But I was approached by someone about the dialogue that I used in a story being similar to what they had written in their own story. But as I pointed out to them, it was the dialogue from the show itself, so… 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t think so. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have a few times! It’s fun and I enjoyed working with all the writers. 

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Mulder and Scully for sure. I adore them so much. 

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a couple that I do want to finish so badly, I just need to do it. So, I’m going to choose to say, please continue being patient with me. 😊

16. What are your writing strengths?

Humor, I think. And banter. I love writing fun dialogue and imagining the way it would be said for real. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think, without sounding like I’m being pompous, and also because I've been told by a few people, I’m pretty good at creating a story a person can fall into, imagine and enjoy. So, I think my personal weakness is sticking to one story until it’s done, although I’m better about it now than I was in the past. At least I think so. 😊 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I would be nervous to do it, wanting it to be perfect. If I did, I would seek out help from a native speaker so I would then get it right and not just rely on the translation feature. 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The X-Files 

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Soulmates ❤️ I spent over a year on that story, off and on, and then six months of writing it every day, with other stories created in between. It’s the one I’m most proud of and the longest one I’ve ever written. 

I'm tagging @tofuttim @agent-troi and anyone else who feels like playing.

[release-the-mccracken]

Masterlist of fics

An updated list of all the fics I've written for bandom so far

Tip Me Over; I Like All Types Of Pressure

"Ryan doesn't see things the way other people do. He's different," Brendon had rambled drunkenly to Gabe one night. And despite all the alcohol in his system, Brendon had been right. When others looked at Gabe, they saw an overly confident flirt. A top who liked to take control and dominate his partners. But that's not how Ryan saw him.

Tonight Give Me Everything Tonight

Pete never considered himself to be someone with a size kink. All of his partners tended to be bigger than him, but that was just a coincidence-or so he thought.

Just Like Holy Mary

Bert had asked plenty of stupid questions before, sometimes there was just no filter between his mind and his mouth. Though, his stupid questions didn't usually end with Jepha in his bed.

A Waste Of Blood And Sweat

Everyone has rituals for after a show, maybe Anthony's is just a bit different from everybody else's.

Starry-Eyed Child

Bert and Quinn finally get to spend some time alone together.

I'm Melting In Your Eyes (Like My First Time)

Bert was used to having sex, it was an act of rebellion after being raised in a Mormon household. However, sex with a bandmate who was also a guy was pretty new for him.

You Could Cause You Can So You Do

Jon knew that people looked at him differently than they looked at the rest of his band. He'd always been a bit rougher, a bit more masculine, a bit less "pretty." And yet, he was the only one Gerard was looking at.

Ready For The Boom

Fall Out Boy decide to give each other a hand and they all have their first circle jerk.

It's Cuffing Season

The thing about Vinny was that he’d never really thought about his height until he met Justin Morrow. He’d always been aware he was shorter than most other guys, sure. When it came to his band, he was even shorter. But when Justin had stumbled into his life, he was very aware of their size difference. Normally, he’d be a bit embarrassed when another man towered over him, but it was nothing short of exciting when it was Justin.

I Was Young And A Menace

Pete knew better than to trust Gabe's surprises. Yet he found himself tied down to the bed with a gag and a blindfold on anyway.

And They Called It Puppy Love

As Gabe grew up and got older, he started to have better control over himself and his instincts. Now, whether he wanted to control them or not was a very different story.

Little Bit Of Poison In Me (I Can Taste Your Flesh In My Teeth)

Pete always believed that he could protect himself, but William Beckett was intent on putting that to the test.

Sending My Love From The Other Side

A collection of ficlets completed, each chapter is titled.

Young Lovers (And They Are Not Sleeping)

It was surprisingly easy to find the man who turned him, but Pete never could've imagined what he'd walk into when he finally found him.

If You Were Church

Pete platonically blows Patrick to help him relieve some stress.

Toy Diamond Ring Stuck On Her Finger

Gabe and William are best friends who just so happen to fuck sometimes.

I Missed Your Skin When You Were East

Things weren't normally so rough between them, but Ryan was quickly finding out that he didn't mind it. (Spencer x Ryan)

I Can See Your Halo, Pray It Don't Fade Away

"Quinn ended up giving me a ride up to my parents' house. It was a beautiful night. I remember the moon was out and there was something different about this person that I'd met and I knew that we were going to write beautifully together."

Touched For The Very First Time

Pete gives Ryan his first blowjob.

December Was The Warmest Month

“Are you still okay?” Brent’s words cut through the thick smoke that felt like it was clouding up Ryan’s mind. It helped bring him back to the moment, giving him something to focus on. He felt himself nodding, but his body felt weird. He felt too heavy, his movements feeling slower than normal and as though it took more effort to simply nod. Brent’s fingers still rubbed his side, mindlessly tracing small circles there. 

Now He Got Me On A Leash 'Cause We Said No Strings

Adam riding Gerard and Gerard using his mic cord like a leash.

As Fresh As A Bright Blue Sky

Pete wasn’t exactly sure how he found himself in this situation. Straddling Patrick in the back of the van, Patrick’s back against the seat to keep himself sat up and his hands all over Pete. He’d always found Patrick attractive, sure. With those big eyes and soft hair, how could he not? He just never expected anything to actually come from those feelings, especially not something so receptive. Normally, he’d question and second-guess himself whenever anything too good started to happen for him, but it was hard to think with Patrick touching him.

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme Just A Bit Of Your Time

Everyone gets lonely after a bit of time on tour, Frank decides to remedy that by keeping Matt company.

Can't Help It If There's No One Else

“I’m gonna do my best,” Adam promised and it earned a gentle kiss from Mike. Adam could taste peach rings when he kissed him, smiling into the kiss a bit. Everything was working to remind him that this was still just Mike. The same Mike he played video games with and made fun of, the one he goofed off with all the time and the same one who he had trusted with all of his secrets. He didn’t need to worry.

[samantekevaa86]

these cross continental gothic fault lines

Where I grew up the residual past was the cornerstore Which was no longer a store, but a house with sinking paint and two brothers translating to Zach and Bert Who died of drinking ethanol in their fifties (Zach) and forties (Bert); and I didn't get why, but later When vibe was a word, I saw texas chainsaw massacre And said 'oh, that's the vibe in the cornerstore When I visited it one time when I was 10' and I wondered about it, and then I thought of my uncle Who lived at the far end of a row house, always Wearing the same dark clothes and wellingtons And how sometimes he came to our house without a call At 11 pm and sat in the kitchen and cried and My dad had to kick him out because he wouldn't stop.

The depth of life stories is unknowable here. Like The only time people said anything real in our home Was when my dad had bought his annual bottle of vodka And those were summers when my mom and dad were lying At the yard half-naked, passed out after a few days of discussing their life store together, and mosquitoes and flies covered their bodies and the ants built their paths around and over them. There was no need Ever to call the police. The lada car of a neighbor, Sepia-colored, drove past this scene on the road, with A clear view. There was brief moment of deceleration, enough to have look, and then quick acceleration. I was looking at the car between the bodies of parents in my Buzz Lightyear t-shirt and adidas sweatpants. A busy nine year old, tending to a kettle with some Burnt rice pudding in it. If you mixed butter in there you could Maybe eat it. Otherwise, I read comics, tarzan books and Dragonlance in my room. Late at night in bed with headphones on so I didn't have to listen to what is happening in the other rooms. It was an ok family life, When you take all the other things in consideration.

I had a painting of Jesus in my room, And a painting of myself at 5 years old, made by my sister. I looked at the space Between those two pictures. I had to implant The emptiness in-between jesus and my childhood inside of me to survive. Some people call it Escapism. I call it more reality. Everywhere, there is magic, which just about amounts to hoping about running away, and everywhere the dark demands of life, which visit from the smallest cracks, at 11 pm. I don't need to Visit America or England to visit America and England. I need to visit someone who lived with all this. To visit someone who saw their parents crawl drooling drunk to the bathroom and It was a school day tomorrow.

To ask how do you fit in Love For your Parents in that picture? Is it after you've crawled too? I walked without socks In my shoes from the hospital reception (never got any actual care, because they had too many drunks in) with psychosis, Between 7 am and 9 am november at -10 degrees celsius, to home where I shivered on a mattress without a frame, Thinking of life as a star In the void of space, inside of me. So I called My friend And they were hangover and murmured slow about needing something to ease the pain. Something has to change in these sociogenetic circumstances of pain, that doesn't involve Drinking more booze. I don't need to visit America to visit America. I don't Need to leave Finland to leave Finland.

I don't need an other world or a million Dollars or a condo with a hot tub in it. I need shared space, a bed, and an image of Hedy Lamarr looking between the lines. I am still searching for this from the empty space on my wall. My neighbor walks outside, to the bins of trash and dumps in a whole bag of beer bottles. It is 1 am. It's the sound of shame to hear bottles of beer fall Late at night inside a trash bin. A distant friend sends me a message from across the ocean, distraught with all their facts.

I wake up at 4 am and heat a pot of tea and start writing. The pot has beautiful roses painted on it. Can you believe it?

[sgtcalhouns]

Do Not Disturb

Felix is doing his best to give Tamora her space, but sometimes an unexpectedly adorable moment can't be helped.

I'm putting off the angst I'm trying to write by drowning you all in fluff instead. Mechanic au. Feel free to reread Welcome Home as a refresher. Enjoy!

“Felix, I’m fine, I just need a few minutes,” Tamora said, her voice muffled by the pillow she had buried her face in.

A fluffy blanket was pulled up to her chin as she curled up on the couch in her designated quiet space. It was out of character for Felix to disturb her while she was in here—he’d made it clear from the very beginning that he would wait until she was ready to come out. The entire purpose of this room was to give her the space she needed to decompress when her anxiety was acting up. She had just about lost her patience the second time she heard him shuffling outside the door.

“I’m serious, Felix, knock it off.”

Suddenly, the door pushed open. She bolted upright, words of anger building on her tongue, but she paused when she realized that there was no one at the door. Before she could question it, she caught sight of Q-bert rounding the corner of the couch.

"Oh," she sighed, flopping back down on the couch. "It's just you."

Q-bert didn't answer as he made his way in front of her at a leisurely pace, tail curling in the air behind him. Tamora reached out, and the orange tabby immediately leaned into her touch as she gave his head a gentle scratch.

"You needed some peace and quiet too, huh?" she said. "I guess I can share, just this once."

She tried not to think too hard about the fact that she was talking out loud to the cat; Felix could often be found having entire conversations with the feline, but Tamora had never been caught dead speaking to Q-bert before now. Instead of admitting to herself that Felix was rubbing off on her, she decided to chalk it up to her current emotional state. Compromised cognitive function was the only logical explanation for such behavior.

Suddenly, Q-bert jumped up onto the couch, landing directly on top of her. She was unable to protest before he made himself comfortable curling up in the tiny bit of free space on the cushions, pressed right up against her stomach. Rather than fight it, she decided to try and relax. He wasn't hurting anything, and his rumbling purrs were oddly soothing as she laid her head back down and closed her eyes.

A short while later, Felix quietly latched the door behind him as he stepped inside the apartment. He had made a quick run to the store to grab Tamora's favorite ice cream and some ingredients for dinner, hoping to make it back home before she emerged from her room. He never asked questions, but he always did his best to be available to provide whatever comfort she needed from him after an episode.

As he made his way to the kitchen, he noticed that the door to her room was slightly ajar. He quickly placed the grocery bags on the counter before stepping into the bedroom to see how she was doing. It puzzled him when the room was empty, as well as the bathroom. Had she left while he was gone?

Taking a deep breath, he contemplated checking her room. He had promised that he would never disturb her there, but he knew that not knowing where she was would drive him mad with worry. Besides, the door was open; he wouldn't technically have to go inside. Moving as quietly as possible, he walked over to her room and slowly leaned in through the doorway. What he saw made his insides melt.

It was dark inside, but the light from the kitchen was just enough for him to make out the scene inside the room. Stretched out on the couch was Tamora, sound asleep with one arm draped over Q-bert, who looked perfectly content as he slept beside her. A quiet gasp escaped his lips as he pressed his hands over his mouth. Seeing the two of them cuddled up together was the most adorable thing he had ever witnessed, he was sure of it.

As much as he knew he should leave and give Tamora her space, he couldn't help but soak up as much of this moment as possible. The warm fuzzy feeling in his chest was quickly replaced by regret as she stirred awake, locking eyes with him the moment hers blinked open. Her confusion lasted only a second before her gaze turned suspicious.

"Felix," she said, "what are you doing here?"

"Tammy!" he replied, voice jittery with nerves. "I am so sorry for disturbing you. I just came home and saw the door open and wanted to check and make sure you were alright."

"So much for never coming in here, huh?" she responded, and the darkness in the room concealed her playful grin. She wanted to feel bad for him, but seeing him get worked up like this was just too cute.

"W-Well, technically I'm not inside exactly, but I—"

"Hey," she interrupted, cutting his torture short with a chuckle. "It's okay."

He heaved a sigh of relief and cracked a smile.

"Where did you go?" she asked.

"I got some things for dinner," he explained. "And I thought you might like some ice cream when you were ready to come out."

This time, her smile was not lost on him.

"That sounds amazing," she replied. She moved to sit up, but hesitated when she realized the movement would disturb Q-bert, who still slept up against her. "I never understood why you felt so bad moving him before, but I get it now. He just looks so peaceful."

"I'm sure he'd be happy to continue this cuddle session with you in the living room," he said with a soft smile.

Tamora nodded and gently scooped the cat up, swinging her legs over the side of the couch as she stood up and joined Felix. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and scratched Q-bert's head as she passed by. She shook her head in amusement.

"You boys are turning me soft," she said.

Felix headed back into the kitchen to put away the groceries before cracking open a pint of ice cream, grabbing a spoon, and joining Tamora and Q-bert on the couch. She could feel his eyes on her as she ate, and when she turned to look at him, his expression was somehow softer and more adoring than she had ever witnessed.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothin', nothin', it's just..." he reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear as he finished his thought. "Seein' you two asleep together like that was the most precious thing I've ever seen. I'm so grateful that we get to have moments like that."

This would normally be an opportune moment for a witty remark from Tamora, but she could see the sincerity and love shining in his eyes and realized that the last thing she wanted to do was mock him for it. It was true that he was making her soft, but the longer she knew Felix, the less that felt like a bad thing. She gave him a smile.

"Me too, Felix."

She leaned in for a quick kiss, but after getting a taste of the ice cream on her lips, Felix couldn't help but steal another before she could pull away.

"You're too sweet, Tammy Jean," he said with a grin.

"Now, that can't possibly be true," she replied.

"And why is that?" Felix asked.

Tamora took a moment just to look at him—his cheeks were glowing, his eyes were full of love, and his smile made her feel like no matter what happened, everything would be alright. She pressed another kiss to his lips, one that she made linger, and she basked in his darkening blush after she pulled away. She smiled as she responded.

"Because you're the sweetest."

[dollarbin]

Nickel Bin #6:

Randy Newman's Louisiana 1927

Don't drop the needle on Randy Newman's 1974 Dollar Bin problem record, Good Old Boys, with anyone else around. The record starts with the all too hummable pop nugget Rednecks in which Newman drops the n-word not once, as Dylan would a year later in Hurricane, but over and over again.

Yes, Newman had a plan in mind - Good Old Boys is a concept record about what its like being racist white trash - but it's 2024 and your neighbors, your kids or your cats might hear the lyrics, see you grooving along to them and then decide to call the cops, or at least write you off as something worse than a redneck.

I'm not enough of a Randy Newman buff, nor am in the mood, to try justifying the record (here's a good attempt to check out if you're interested) but I do want to take a moment now that rain has momentarily stopped in Southern California to talk about the record's most shimmering, and slightly less problematic, ear worm about flooding: Louisiana 1927.

Let's listen (and don't worry, no need to cover the cat's ears for this):

Warm Disney strings provide the opening, then give way to Newman's iconic piano prodding and hazy vocals. By the time the strings reemerge in the second verse they chase one of the richest drum tones I know and together they guide us to the chorus. Everything sounds majestic.

But Newman refuses to offer straight-forward pleasure. After Side 1's paradoxically sympathetic and deeply judgmental portrayal of a modern, singularly awful white dude, Louisiana 1972's lyrics pivot the record into a three song examination of Huey P. Long, one of the Great Depression's prequels to the even more loathsome Donald Trump. Long is the subject of a bunch of books I have not read, including All the King's Men, and Louisiana 1927's refrain of "they're tryin' to wash us away" and its second verse's oddball storytelling about a belittling, elitist visit after the storm by Calvin Coolidge introduces us to Long's version of Trump's "I'm so proud to be a deplorable" populism and racism.

What was Newman thinking? Why'd he undercut such glorious music with obtuse menace? Couldn't he have provided us with a hero, or at least something banal, to bask in and compliment all that rich sound?

Maybe he was busy refusing the public's potential broad stamp of approval in thoroughly Shakey style and thereby ingratiating himself with the kind of people (like, far too often, me) who need to be reassured that they are not victims of the mainstream. The irony, of course, is that Long and Trump's brands were, and still are, largely based on the same exercise: they generate their self-serving support by loudly rejecting any moderate, popular or ethical center.

Maybe that was Newman's plan. Or maybe he's way smarter than me (of course he is!) and had another plan in mind, which leaves me the dumb redneck. Or maybe he was just being an obscuring grump.

Either way, this still-lovely song, together with its sonic and thematic predecessor, 72's enslaver's sales pitch sing-a-long, Sail Away, has served as a godparent to a lot of equally lovely anxiety inducers ever since.

To begin, there's Lambchop's foul mouthed If Not I'll Just Die, which sounds like some psycho is standing in for Bert Bacharach.

And then there's Cat Power's almost unendurably beautiful The Greatest. Warmth and grace mask over brooding terror as Chan Marshall interpolates the tones of both Louisiana 1927 and Moon River into her own composition, leaving us awash once again in beauty but never at ease; after all, Chan was a step away from killing herself with drugs and booze while she sang about being lowered down and pinned into the earth.

Once she wanted to be the greatest. But now? Yikes. Thankfully she made it through. It's been 15+ years since she offered us such terrifying beauty; the sun's shining now and Chan is busy gleefully covering Dylan.

Even so, there are more storms coming. Way more. But hopefully they will wash away Trump's grip on our country (not to mention Stephen Stills next comeback attempt) rather than flooding anything too precious. Hopefully we can come together and convince Randy Newman to write something positive and beautiful for once (and not have him turn around and lend it, ironically or sincerely, to the forthcoming Toy Story 7).

[geoffrard]

please tell me more about this geoff/gerard proof 👀

anon how much time do u have

thought about being jokingly tinhatting with my response to this but i dont actually think they full fucked or whatever. so instead i'm just gonna dump several thousand words of an earnest attempt to outline why geoff and gerard deserve the same treatment received by other legendary canonical friendships like bert & gerard, mikey & pete, etc etc

also i caught the riot fest covid so idk how comprensible i will be. and idk how much sense some of this will make if you don't already have, like, rudimentary knowledge about geoff rickly's start in the hardcore scene in new brunswick, nj, so obligatory plug of the thursday primer that me and nic @raytorosaurus put out a while ago.

but tl;dr, geoff rickly and gerard way were drawn to each other literally from the beginning. since then, neither have left the other's orbit. they are legit cosmically connected narrative foils who could have been each other's closest confidant but never have been more than incredibly meaningful people to the other due to instance after instance of wrong place, wrong time.

i'll do my best to sum up some of the most poignant moments in their over twenty-year-long friendship, but nic and i are drafting several other posts that more diligently delineate the connections between thursday and mcr in their overlapping, mirrored careers and similarities/divergences in their goals/approaches as musicians.

so anyway despite what you might have assumed from the story that goes around where geoff heard gerard and mikey (badly) playing vampires at the eyeball house and wasn't impressed, i believe that at that point they'd already been friends for a while.

this is how gerard recalls the moment he met geoff:

Way: I remember it super vividly. Do you remember? I was walking out of the record shop that Alex [Saavedra, Eyeball Records] worked at on Kearny Avenue and you were standing against a wall wearing a black t-shirt. You were rail skinny and you looked like you were dying and you were so pale with this jet black hair. Rickly: My vegan lifestyle was not agreeing with me. Way: It looked like the sun was killing him. [long pause] And I thought he was super cool. (from their interview with vice in 2015)

long pause and i thought he was super cool.....like....

this is what geoff looked like back then btw. im guessing it was around 2000/early 2001 that they met since thats the outer limits of geoff's black hair goth days

(source)

gerard designed shirts for bands in the scene, including this one for thursday, probably done around 2001 when the dove became the main symbol associated with thursday. at this point mikey was a regular at the eyeball house but gerard was still hiding away in his house, but would always talk about his brother.

Geoff: "I knew Mikey from parties at the eyeball house. I liked Mikey a lot, and he was like, 'you're gonna love my brother Gee (he called him Gee all the time), Gerard, he's the best comic book artist, he's always at home, just working on comic books.' So I was like yeah, I wanna meet this kid, you know, I wanna make comic books with him, you know, that sounds awesome!" (source)

after that geoff kept asking mikey when his brother would come down to the eyeball house, because he'd loved comics since he was a kid, but he was too shy to verbalize that, and his love of comics wasn't something he'd ever actually shared with anyone other than his grandmother, who had just passed away, but he heard that this quiet guy who'd sometimes hang out with the scene's resident kid brother was this amazing comic book artist, and geoff decided that gerard was a person he wanted to know.

So like they were literally talking about writing a comic book together: geoff would write and gerard would draw. but they never were able to spend that much time together. thursday found massive and unanticipated success in late 2001 when understanding in a car crash started playing on mtv nonstop and gerard was still a hermit for the most part but had started to piece together the band that would become my chemical romance.

so then blah blah blah the story where gerard and mikey introduced the idea of their band to geoff we've all heard it. i linked it above but you can read the excerpt from dan ozzi's sellout here if you aren't familiar with the details already.

and that story ends with geoff listening to their demo and realizing that this little band actually had something. but i firmly believe that geoff loved the scene and was so compelled by gerard's art and wanted to collaborate creatively with him that he would have been willing to do it regardless of if he came around to their music or not.

geoff said this in a podcast in 2018:

"Gerard is sort of like... when he's not sort of hiding out in his house somewhere, he's actually so charming and personable. There's a reason why I was so drawn to him, and that he's, like, a superstar."

obviously we'll never know, because geoff was so compelled by the music that he played their demo to death in the tour van and then took the only two weeks that thursday had off in one of the busiest years of their career while in the midst of a super contentious legal affair with their record label to produce bullets.

okay now that i am looking at what i have written so far i look like an insane person and that is okay but i think that i will save the rest for another longer post about the fated careers of mcr and thursday. but i feel that i have done my job by just giving you this taste. more to come but their friendship literally so expansive and detailed (in ways that I don't usually see articulated here) that a single tumblr post is never going to do it justice. as i said, stay tuned, we're working on something more.

tl;dr (another one) gerard and geoff are perennially obsessed with each other & have been since literally the first time that they laid eyes on each other and it comes out the second that either of them have to be even a little reflective on the other's career thanks for reading my manifesto bye.

[oliveroctavius]

idk if its an accurate word since it's not usually intentional, but how do you feel about the queer coding with Eel's gender? (especially in the 2018 comic)

to steal someone else's joke phrasing that puts it well:

I... have complex feelings on the 2018 solo's writing overall. I think my final thesis is: The character decisions were cool enough, but 2018 Plas misses out on some SUPER interesting possibilities by ignoring so much of original Plastic Man's lore.

I hope you sent this ask expecting an essay because you're getting one under the cut. Contains musings on the nature of comedy, "passing", and comics-typical transphobia.

~ ~ ~

I'm going to start with gendered attraction instead of presentation—I think it explains some things.

"The noble chaste hero gets a funny horny sidekick" is an old trope. OG Plas was the neutral hero. He seems actively scared of flirtation.

IIRC his only on-panel kiss is when he lets a lady who electrocutes via kiss power catch him, in order to defeat her (PC #100).

(Including these panels just because they're gorgeously rendered.)

The JLA writes him Like That because they'd decided he was the Horny Sidekick now. This ran into creepy-guy-threatening-women territory quick. 2018 Plas being the bouncer (get it?) at a strip club feels like both a continuation and direct rebuttal to that characterization.

Is there a hard line between queer coding and comedy-driven sexuality?

Comedy often works via expectation/setup -> subversion/punchline. Gender and sexuality standards are a kind of setup. (A man would enjoy attention from a pretty woman. A man would rather not see the Riddler in a thong.) Implied asexuality or bisexuality is then a subversion, a punchline.

I'd say it's on a sliding scale. Mockery wants you to laugh, because the subversion is impossible or unnatural. Earnest representation wants you to nod, because the subversion is possible and acceptable.

Bisexual Plas is in the spirit of the original, somewhere on that sincerity scale. Did I mention an off-panel golden age kiss?

Also, Plas and Woozy lived together and slept in Bert & Ernie beds. Listen: Woozy is a whole pile of transgressions you're supposed to find funny. If you're going for bisexual Plas, why not make him like Woozy and retroactively validate some of those jokes as possible states of being? Just sayin'.

Right, right. Gender. I'm guessing you're thinking of is the parallel drawn between Plas and the explicitly trans kiddo Pado Swakatoon. Seeing the Suave Prince of Pine Street boldly claim such a seemingly silly identity makes Eel decide to embrace Plastic Man.

So I'm disappointed that they dropped something that could make the trans parallel explicit: OG Plastic Man wasn't just Eel in shades. He created a new, permanent face and body for himself both as an expression of identity and a protective measure. Being "outed"--even though he has not physically been Eel for years at that point--nearly loses him friends, his job, and his freedom.

All 2018 Eel is really considering changing is his moral compass. With little else at stake, the parallel feels weaker.

The pressure to "pass" is an (unintentional) theme written all over pre-DCverse Plastic Man. Explicitly related to gender, even: the meanspirited man-in-dress jokes were rarely targeted at Plas even though his job included missions in girlmode.

If a joke is the gap between expectation/reality, "passing" is meeting enough expectations to close that gap. Plas fits the mold enough to dodge most of the 1940s otherwise rampant transmisogyny.

But passing as female is dangerous, too. When Plas takes a woman's place, he's usually trying to act as a lightning rod to a threat targeting her. That's another reason I love the "bouncer for a strip club" thing. They could push his identification with the dancers even further. Skimpy costume, dubiously legal night job, talented physical performer whose intelligence is often underestimated and whose secondary identity puts them at risk for violence...

It's odd. The 2018 series only has Plas take on other forms partially, momentarily, and usually just as a punchline. Passing as other people or innocuous objects to go places unaccosted is usually an entire pillar of his shtick.

When people "clock" him, they tend to shout something like "That's not a table! It's Plastic Man!" But if he's shaped like a table, and acting as a table, it would be just as accurate to say "Plastic Man is a table now" until he resumes his "normal" form. He can be one thing today and another thing tomorrow and all of those things for real.

Your ask uses the word "queer". That word shows up in the oldest comics in its original meaning: out-of-the-ordinary. Those who self-identify as "genderqueer" often do so because they'd rather not define themselves in relation to male or female-ness. "Passing" only has meaning if your goal is to be seen as one of the Expected Categories. What if you're something entirely unexpected?

(At this point I'm just kind of adding vaguely relevant panels to break up my wall of text. Thank you, 70s Plas.)

2018 Plas does briefly turn into Wonder Woman. I don't really know why he does this? Did he want to get tackled? Either way, he talks like Plas Doing A Parody--this isn't really a form he's trying to own.

Later he turns into Harley Quinn, mostly. The artist later apologized for adding serious crotch bulge to how she normally draws Harley. Which could be based, but the "transgression" lasts for just one absurdist sexed-up panel.

Plastic Man is the character it makes least sense to trot out the "men can only ever parody female-ness" jokes on. He doesn't even have toes—what's inside this man's Speedo is a state of perpetual quantum uncertainty.

I love Pado Swakatoon being included in the 2018 comic. But Pado's transition, rejecting identity A, preferring identity B, probably isn't the best lens for reading Eel. Transition doesn't have to be a straight line to a fixed destination; it's slipperier than that.

I'd argue "being Plastic Man" isn't a goal identity; he's just a conveniently safe default for someone who can be anyone. He's more defined his ability and enjoyment of change: the joy of self-determination without boundaries. The joy of being able to change one's mind at any time for any trivial reason. Because it can be helpful, because it can be fun, and because it can be him, all of it.

[hanjisungslag]

attack on titan headcanons #2

## - hanging out

genre - fluff

pairings - aot x reader

word count - 0.9k

warnings - none

notes - this is like a series ?? it’s kinda like a storyline, all these headcanons. enjoy, as usual 🫶🏻

- EREN JAEGER

you and eren typically hung out while you trained him but apart from that, you’d go on long walks with him through town and most days he’d take you to the tree that him, mikasa and armin used to go to as children, and you guys would just sit and talk for hours. he spoke a lot on freedom and you too soon became infatuated with the idea of freedom - more than before.

- ARMIN ARLERT

you guys typically hang around town and preferred going to places like cafés, bakeries and libraries. you have a bit of a routine, you guys usually go to your favourite café, buy your drinks then head to the bakery to get your usual pastry and head to the library on the search for new books. some other days, you both would just go out exploring and you guys have journals you write in about new stuff you find, kinda like an adventure book :’).

- MIKASA ACKERMAN

you really like working out with mikasa and she really likes it when you join her, even if she doesn’t show it sometimes. she always shows you different ways to exercise and you make it fun by cracking jokes (you can always see her, slightly smirking when you do). after these sessions, you guys go find somewhere to sit and chill for a bit. on days where you’re not working out with mikasa, you guys like to go on walks - she always lets loose on these walks and shows different sides of herself you’ve never seen.

- JEAN KRISTEIN

you’ve seen him draw a bunch and you really wanted him to teach you some techniques. so, you asked and of course he said yes. you sit for hours drawing together, you especially love taking each other to cool views and drawing them :).

- SASHA BRAUS

shopping trip!! if anyone ever needs something from town, they go to you and sasha and ask for you guys to get it. you guys love it so much because you just mess around the whole time, sometimes you even come back without the stuff you went to get (reiner gets very upset about this and connie usually laughs unless you forget his stuff) while forgetting stuff, you go off on your tangents and buy whatever you guys want.

- CONNIE SPRINGER

connie gets bored really easily, so he has a lot of board games under his bed and he always invites you to join in. worst part is, he always plays them at 2am😭 so expect not a lot of sleep because how are you gonna say no to this man? you’re not. but it’s all worth the fun.

- REINER BRAUN

you had a pretty rough time in training today and you were super drained, reiner could tell just be your stance and the look on your face. he decided to drag you along to his ‘special spot’ with protests from you because you wanted to sleep but once you got there, omg.. you were so glad he dragged you up there. the view was beautiful. it was so calm, so peaceful. the sounds of sweet animals and the rustling leaves in the wind. soon, this became reiner AND your spot.

- BERTHOLDT HOOVER

bert loves, loves, loves baking!! he wanted to make you a cake for your upcoming birthday but, you suddenly walked in while he was doing so and asked to join in. he squealed with joy and allowed you to join - soon, this became a weekly occurrence for you two. you guys got to spend time with one another and the rest of the corps got sweet treats out of it ;).

- ANNIE LEONHART

she would take you to the gym for the lessons that you begged for but, because of your little charismatic ass, you guys would take longer breaks and talk more about your lives (as much as she could anyways) every once in a while, you would catch her grinning at some joke you made.

- LEVI ACKERMAN

you were his little tea ‘bearer’ as hange called it. it wasn’t your actual job to serve levi tea, it was from the kindness of your own heart! and levi appreciated these little acts of kindness, more than he wished. sometimes, you might bring two cups of tea.. one for him and one for yourself! first time you did it, he gave you a confused stare and you simply said ‘what?’ innocently of course, and he told you to get out. you didn’t though! you stayed and talked about your day with him. this soon became a frequent thing for you two and something you both looked forward to.

- ERWIN SMITH

since erwin is always so busy, it’s sometimes difficult to make time for you. however, a lot of the time he splurges and takes you to a nice restaurant out in wall sina :). he truly treats you like royalty - both of you dressed to the nines, eating the finest meat in all of paradis! he always smiles the most on evenings like these.

- HANGE ZOË

you had to work a lot in the lab and 99% of the time, hange was right there next to you. even when you guys weren’t out on the town (which was a lot) they LOVED being in the lab with you :). it may sound boring but, to you two it was practically perfect - you both loved science, knowledge and the theory of titans & that’s how you spent your time together! doing something you both love.

[beneathashadytree]

omg its me again bruh. i just rlly like yo writin style haha. ANYWAY i have become porco's simp wtf😔 so im just wanna ask a scenario where reader is bert's sis and when both porco and her have found out about their siblings deaths they shared their pain that day and also became closer to each other? LOVE YOU THO

SANCTUARY - PORCO GALLIARD X READER

Warnings : some curse words, mentions of death, mentions of insomnia, this is not proofread at all, reader is female!

Genre : fluff to angst to fluff lmfao

Word count : 3.4K words

Synopsis : Sometimes, sharing your grief with someone is a healthy coping mechanism that brings hearts closer together.

Additional notes : As you might've seen me post last week, I've been terribly busy, and I couldn't find the time to write! I actually wrote this today in one go, since I didn't know when I'd get any free time again like this. And aren't we all at some point turned into Porco simps?😌 Thank you for being very sweet! I hope you enjoy this; your feedback is always welcome!

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!

Masterlist

"Son of a bitch," a hiss came from behind her, and she winced, as she turned to let out a horrified cry.

"Porco!"

The twelve year old didn't seem like he gave a damn, gritting his teeth as he stomped away from the dock. Though his angry façade was quite believable due to the rage he did truly feel at the mere thought of the blonde who'd inherited the armored titan instead of himself, the little girl wasn't blind to the fact that tears had collected in his eyes, and that his curled fists were all that prevented him from breaking down into a fit of sobs. Glaring at nothing in particular, the boy was far too preoccupied with his stormy emotions to notice her trailing after him.

Trying to placate him, she spoke, "I know you don't like him, but---"

"I wanted to go with Marcel," his voice cracked, eyes squeezed shut as he stilled in place, "I wanted our parents to be proud of us both," shoulders shaking as his voice grew fainter, "I wanted to be beside him and take care of him like he's always done for me," with a sniffle, he blinked away his tears, before returning with a frustrated expression once again, "Don't you feel the same about Bertholdt?"

Twisting her hands anxiously, she looked more upset than she did mere seconds ago, "Of course, he's my big brother after all. How can I not be worried about him?" her voice was soft and showed how sad she truly was but refused to make a big fuss out of it, "But I couldn't go anyways, because dad needed someone to take care of him here."

"Okay, fine, you chose to stay," Porco rolled his eyes, "I didn't. I worked my ass off, but just because Reiner kisses Marley's ass he somehow made it and I'm stuck here."

With a sigh, she tugged at his arms that were now folded across his chest, "Then what? Do you think moping around here is gonna fix anything?"

Looking away in embarrassment, he mumbled, "I'm not moping."

"Yeah, you're throwing a tantrum like a toddler," scoffing, she ignored his glare, "Listen, Porco, the only productive thing you can do is work ten times harder this time, so that when they come back and it's time to inherit the titans, there will be no doubt that you're the best fitted for the job."

His glare easing up, he dropped his defensive stance, "And you? What will you do in the meantime?"

Smiling wistfully, she looked up at the blue skies above her, "What else can I do other than wait for Bertl to come back?"

***

Though she was now 15, she still found herself fretting every now and then, wondering what her brother was up to on that island of devils; wondering if he was ever worrying about his family the same way both she and her father thought of him almost every night. Perhaps she'd always been particularly protective over him because he'd always been the more timid type, or maybe because she knew little to nothing about Paradis and what he'd find there, but for whatever reason, the teenage girl found herself troubled at night with thoughts of disastrous situations her brother might've put himself in on the other side of the sea. Her sleep troubled, she grew more and more weary as time went by---something that didn't go unnoticed by Porco.

Huffing and puffing, he rested his hands on his knees, bending over as he tried to catch his breath in the middle of the spacious yard.

"Done with training for the day?" she asked, getting up from the box she'd been sitting on in waiting, adjusting his lopsided armband in the process.

He only gave her a grunt of affirmation, before heaving out once, "You look like shit."

Punching his arm, they bit back, "Gee, thanks."

"I didn't mean it like that, idiot," he rolled his eyes, as his expression grew more concerned, "You like you don't know what a good night's sleep feels like."

"Don't act as if you've never wondered what Marcel's been up too either," she retorted as they walked out of the yard so they could get back home before sunset.

He shrugged, "Never said that. It's just that I can't afford to lose any sleep now that training's getting tougher the older I get," he kicked the gravel under his feet, clearly not yet over the fact that he had been forced to wait another 13 years, while the less worthy of them had already been granted his chance.

"How's it going by the way?" she peered at him curiously, "Think you've got a good shot this time?"

Looking at her as though she'd just gravely offended her, he protested as they waited for the gates of Liberio to open, "Of course, what kind of idiot do you think I am to let someone beat me during training?'

"No need to get all defensive," chuckling, she ruffled Porco's blonde hair (much to his annoyance) and squeezed his hand in support, "Just glad you're doing your best," she glanced at the tiny scratched up watch that clearly looked like a hand-me-down, as usually was the case in the Hoover household, "Anyways, it's time for supper and I should be off, or else father will worry."

As she waved at him, Porco couldn't help smiling and waving back at her, though he usually kept a stoic facial expression. Nonchalance wasn't necessary in the face of kindness and patience, that much he knew. At the very least, he was glad he had someone who could somewhat understand what he was feeling.

***

Over the following two years, their meet-ups remained frequent, even though they never really lasted that long, since duty always called and Porco found himself being pulled away from her for one reason or the other. She never seemed to mind though, and usually bid her time taking care of her sickly father who almost seemed oblivious to her whereabouts (it's not like he didn't care what his daughter was up to, but really it was a matter of him being feverish and exhausted most of the time, which ended with him being bedridden for weeks on end).

The one time they had the luxury of time was upon the return of the warriors, four long years after they'd first left. The military had announced in advance that the day was to be spent in celebration, and the entire internment zone was thrumming with an invisible excited energy that had everyone bustling around in preparation for their return---and, as bitter as he sometimes felt, Porco had to admit to her that he was feeling just as enthusiastic as the people of Liberio.

"Bet you would've bought your brother flowers if you weren't so broke," he chortled, leaning against a metal railing.

Lightly shoving him away, she grinned, "He just likes pretty things, leave him alone."

In the midst of their teasing, they failed to notice the footsteps that made their way up to them. A hand gently clamped down on her shoulder, startling her for a moment before she found herself in the face of the boy whose mere mention aggravated her friend to no end.

"Reiner!" she cried, flinging her arms around his much-larger-than-she-remembered form, "You look so... different," she breathed out, eyes sparkling as she held him at an arm's length.

"So do you," he gave her a weak half-smile, voice deep and heavy, "You've grown so much."

He glanced at Porco, who only gave him a look of disdain before continuing to pretend he didn't exist. There was nothing surprising about that, and yet the girl felt a need to give Reiner an apologetic look. Glancing back at Porco, she saw how his eyes flitted between the people on the dock, apparently searching for something. Within seconds of understanding that he was searching for his brown-haired older brother, her expression shifted, and she began peeking behind his back.

"Where's Bertholdt?" she enthused, "I can't wait to tease him. I bet he's grown even taller."

The taller blonde stilled in place, frantically pulling at Porco, earning a few grumbles of protest.

"What the fuck do you want now? I'm looking for Marcel," he sighed in annoyance, and Reiner gulped, an anxious look crossing his face.

"There's something the both of you have to know."

"Whatever it is, it can wait," Porco snapped at him, clearly getting distracted already.

"Is he still on deck? Must be sea-sickness..." the younger Hoover sibling mumbled to herself, only two have Reiner whisper her name with urgency.

Their attention now on his troubled face he took a rattling breath, "They're... not here."

"What do you mean?" Porco asked, voice laced with confusion, "Are they on standby in Paradis?"

Squeezing the bridge of his nose, Reiner sighed, "No. I mean they're dead."

The place grew so silent that it would've been possible to hear a pin drop on the floor. Nothing was heard aside from the waves crashing against the stern of the ship and lapping at the rocks of the pier. It was only interrupted by a soft laugh.

"Come on, I know you guys don't get along that well, but there's no need to pull a nasty joke like that," she cooed, trying to be comforting and rubbing his arm, much to Porco's chagrin, "That's not very---"

"It's not a joke," came Zeke's voice from behind, stepping closer with a grim expression, "Marcel was killed by a pure titan upon their arrival, Annie was taken hostage, and Bertholdt was devoured," a darker look crossed his face, "It seems that the devils are in possession of the Colossal titan's powers now," pausing, he bowed his head, "My condolences."

With a nod, he was off, and a slender freckled woman emerged from where he stood, giving them a sidelong glance before following him, hands pushed into her pockets though she was visibly limping.

Porco and the girl remained deadly silent, not uttering a single word. The heavy air was palpable, Reiner's discomfort rising as the silence went on for what seemed like forever, expressionless faces still as statues in front of him. He looked as though all words had failed him; as though he truly didn't know what to say---and it wasn't as if their countenances told him anything about how they were currently feeling. He was at a loss.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, sending them a look full of regret, before his silhouette receded into the distance, and even after he'd been long gone, the two remained rooted to the spot for quite the while, almost unblinking.

"Let's go," Porco croaked out, voice wavering and unsteady, not waiting to see her reaction before kicking the gravel as he always did on the way back home.

She didn't say much, only alerting him to the fact that she'd heard with a muffled 'Coming' that was carried away by the sea breeze that felt anything but welcoming at the moment.

***

The house was eerily quiet when they shut the door after themselves; so quiet that every creak of the stairs leading up to her room echoes with every step they took.

"Your father," he spoke so quietly she almost believed it was a figment of her imagination, "He's not home?"

"Hospital."

"Ah."

She settled on her bed, hands folded in front of her almost robotically. He took a similar stance beside her, and if the situation weren't so dark the sight would've almost been laughable.

The girl settled down, the only sounds being the ticking of her clock as time went by so achingly slowly. It was overbearing in and of itself.

"So they're really gone," she finally whimpered out, hands quivering, causing Porco's head to snap in her direction.

He almost looked shocked for a moment, before his face screwed up, and he found himself yelling out, "Fuck!" and bursting into tears himself, his hands flying upwards to tug at his blonde hair.

Each of them swallowed whole by their grief over their lost brothers, their sobbing was almost orchestrated, like a miserable symphony only they could hear. One lamenting with her hands covering her face as her tears wet her wrists while she thought of her brother's kindness facing a horrific and gruesome end, the other crying his heart out with reckless abandon, uncaring if he looked as pathetic as he felt; weak and useless in the face of tragedy, wondering if it was anywhere near half of what his brother had felt when facing his death.

It was unknown to them just how much time they spent, their hearts wrenched in their chests, words lodged in their throats. The two let the minutes slip past them as they wallowed in their own misery, not noticing the way the shadows had fallen across the objects in the sparsely decorated room.

However long they spent it didn't matter, because it soon quietened down. Their sobs reduced to sniffles, hands wiping furiously at their cheeks to remove any tear tracks as though eliminating evidence of their uncharacteristically weak moment, they wound down into yet another unsettling bout of silence.

"Porco?" she quietly called out for him, not looking away from that single point on the wall she'd been staring at for the past God-knows-how-long.

Humming, he turned to her, a small frown on his face as he saw the glassy look in her eyes.

Her voice was small when she spoke up again, "Can you hold me?"

"Yeah," his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat twice, "Sure."

Opening his arms wide as an invitation for her to crawl in them, he tried his best to relax his body as she curled against his chest. Arms wrapping tightly around her, he couldn't help the way his heartbeat thrummed. She didn't cry and neither did he, but the grief and melancholy that blanketed them both was shared between them. For once, he allowed himself a break; allowed himself to welcome the warmth he craved so badly. With these desperate thoughts in mind, he fell back into the mattress, pulling her shivering form against his, as he prayed before drifting into sleep that whatever God was listening would have mercy on them.

***

It wasn't odd anymore for Porco to invite himself over at her house. It wasn't at all weird that every single time he'd pull her into an embrace, his pulse quickening as she would rub his back gently. He didn't even ask any questions when he noticed that her father wasn't ever around anymore---he didn't think she'd want to give him an answer for the time being, anyways. All he did, he did quietly, arranging flowers on her desk as she changed the sheets for a fresher smell every afternoon. They seemed to enjoy each other's presence, that much was obvious.

"How did training go?"

He shrugged, "Nothing much left to do," he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, "I'm, uh, supposed to devour that Ymir girl this Saturday."

"You've already been chosen?" she looked surprised as she sat down on the bed, resting against her pillow, "Congratulations."

He flopped down facefirst into the mattress, before shifting around and settling ontop of her, his head on her chest as his arms wrapped around her stomach, "I don't think it's all that great anymore," he admitted, eyebrows furrowed, "Seeing how things played out... it all seems too real now."

The girl's hand reached down to brush through his soft hair, "I know," she sighed, before giving him a kind half-smile, "Still, I'm proud of you, Pock."

Porco inhaled sharply, "Say that again."

"That I'm proud of you?"

"I wouldn't say no to that," he laughed, "But I meant... the nickname."

"Pock, handsome and kind Pock," she grinned, her tone almost silly as he cuddled into her tighter, no doubt hiding his blushing cheeks against her shirt.

"Quit making fun of me," he groaned, "'M embarrassed."

She laughed, snuggling him safely against her chest as she let loose a content sigh, "You might be a pain in the ass sometimes, but you really are a good guy, Pock."

***

Only weeks later, on Porco's 18th birthday, did they finally acknowledge the growing warmth between them.

He'd expressed his disgruntlement towards the idea of celebrating it with the rest of the warriors and candidates, 'not really feeling like dealing with a shit-faced drunk Colt and a clingy-ass Reiner' in his words, and so the girl decided that this was the perfect opportunity to express her feelings towards the newly-appointed Jaw titan. She took it upon herself to give him a day to remember in the confinements of her own home, where she'd noticed he'd grown increasingly fond of and comfortable in.

"You're here," she cheered as soon as he'd entered her room, a grin on his face as their eyes met.

"You said you had something prepared, and I didn't want your efforts to go to waste," he shrugged, though there was no denying just how happy he felt from his voice alone.

Launching herself into his arms, he gripped her shoulders firmly as he pulled her closer, her voice soft as she spoke, "Happy 18th, Pock," she didn't pull away, but she did slide down to meet gentle gray eyes that looked at her fondly, "I baked you a cake," she gestured with her thumb behind her, to where the cake with the pretty white icing sat near the window, "Wanna have that first?"

The birthday boy shook his head, "I'll have a piece after lunch. I know it's gotta be good if the kitchen hasn't been burned down."

"You're an ass sometimes, you know that?" she sighed exasperatedly, before wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her level as his expression grew surprised, "But you've still got that charm, somehow," she mumbled, pressing her lips in a sweet kiss to his cheek, earning a soft 'Oh' from the unexpecting blonde.

It was clear to see how flustered she'd rendered him from such a simple action, his eyes affectionately taking her in as his face flushed red. She would've giggled, if her heart hadn't been close to beating out of her chest. Instead she resorted to whispering out one thing in a voice so loving it had him gulping.

"Pock, you're special to me."

Hesitating a bit, he stuttered for a moment before daring to ask the question that invited her for a direct confrontation, "Special in what way?"

"In a way where I want to be with you, forever," she admitted, her own cheeks growing rosy, "Sounds a bit foolish, and very much a childish dream considering how much time we've actually got le---"

Before she could speak of more negative aspects of their harsh reality, Porco chuckled through his nose, pressing the gentlest of kisses against her soft lips, his hand reaching up to caress her neck as hers deftly scraped against his undercut. Both their eyes fluttered shut, his pulse sounding through his throat as he savored the feeling of having her mouth softly brushing against his.

Gentle. Loving. Everything he'd ever craved.

Pulling away, their breaths came out in mingled puffs, both of their blush raging even brighter than before, but the blissed out expressions on their faces remained more adoring than anything.

"This time, I'm going to be a selfish bastard," his voice was low, but his words held a weight stronger than ever before, "Because no matter what kind of shit happens in the future, I still want to be with you."

A delighted expression on her beautiful face, she pushed their bodies impossibly close until they were almost entwined, fully satisfied with the way his chest fit perfectly against hers, warmth seeping through her skin from his own as she prayed that their little sanctuary of happiness would last even if for a short while, "Good. Because that's all I want, really."

Taglist: @blondeboyfriend

[cobrakaisb]

hi bestie! i’ve had this idea for a while, but i haven’t seen it. can you do like a head cannon of what miguel, robby, and eli/hawk would be like as an older brother? it can be totally based off what you think :) thank you <3

of course! sorry it took me a while but i needed to to be perfect. i also added two bonus boys at the end (hope you don’t mind). little note: i wrote this with a fem reader in mind because of the mentions of periods. 

Having the Cobra Kai boys as older brothers

miguel:

you and miguel are so close

the age difference does not affect him at all

he is very protective of you before cobra kai

but once he joins cobra kai that over protectiveness 📈📈📈

let’s just say that this kid is bothering you

miguel definitely notices and scares them off

you act annoyed about it, but you’re highkey grateful that he did that

“my brother is the all valley champ so back the fuck off”

you were so excited for him at the all valley

you wore one of his cobra kai shirts and everything

miguel is so supportive of whatever extra curricular you do

karate? yes he stans, theater? you bet he’s at all your shows, dance? you know he’s bringing you some flowers, another sport? he’s at every game cheering for you

miguel knows about periods, and he has no shame in buying you tampons/pads

“hey y/n, i noticed you were running low so i got you some more” 🥺🥺 

you wear his hoodies all the time

they are very big on you, but very comfy

you help him with sam

“i punched her in the face” “what why?”

“y/n what do you think about this?” “it looks great miguel. sam will love it”

when he dates tory you're a little on edge about it

“miguel, weren’t you like trying to win sam back two days ago?” “i like tory now” “okayy” 

johnny loves you as much as he loves miguel

y’all hang out together

his friends are your friends and vice versa

your friends definitely think that miguel is cute but “eww that’s my brother”

when miguel is in the coma you blame johnny

“he showed mercy because of you! you did this!”

but then you cry into his chest

when miguel wakes up you’re at school

you don’t find out until after school when carmen picks you up

you hug him so tight, rambling about how much you love him

“i love you too y/n now get off me”

you can’t keep up with his love life

“y/n i’m with sam again” “what?” 

overall your bond is amazing and you couldn’t ask for a better brother

robby:

you and robby both live with your mother (because we aren’t basic here)

you’re the odd one out (your mom does drugs and robby sells them)

“you got caught with molly? i thought you and sara were hooking up?” “the drug y/n”

when robby starts being friends with those punk kids, the two of you start to drift

you actually go to school, unlike him

“just skip y/n” “no robby”

it isn’t until he gets back on track because of daniel that you two start getting close again

“i’m gonna get back on track y/n i promise” and you believe him

you go to the skatepark with him

he skates while you read or draw or skate (whatever you’re into tbh)

when you’re on your period robby will buy you stuff, but he doesn’t like to

he feels so awkward about it

“um are these the right ones?” “yes thank you”

robby gives the best hugs (idk why he just does)

i feel like robby is also really good at reading emotions

like he knows when you’ve had a bad day at school or when you’re stressed about something

he also knows how to cheer you up :)))

“i know you did not just eat cereal with water???” “and what about it?”

when your mom comes back after being gone for days robby pulls you behind him

because he really doesn’t want you to be exposed to that

you cry into robby’s chest once she leaves

“why can’t she just be our mom?”

when daniel asks robby to move in with him he denies

but quickly explains that he can’t leave you

daniel tells robby that you can come too

“thanks for helping my brother mr.larusso, i really appreciate it”

you definitely walk in on robby and sam making out at some point

“hey robby- oh my god i’m so sorry” slaps hand over eyes and immediately leaves the room

when robby pushes miguel off the balcony it's the first time you’re genuinely scared of him

you visit him in jail, but it takes awhile for you to go

“i’m sorry y/n” “i know robby”

you just understand each other

when robby joins cobra kai he tries to get you in too

you agree to one lesson, and know it’s not for you

you have many arguments about this

“he’s brainwashing you!” “he knows what’s best for me, for us!”

robby feels so betrayed when he finds out you’re staying with johnny

the two of you definitely drift after that, but you find your way back to each other, you always do

eli/hawk:

okay so before he flips the script you defend eli, no matter what

you cry with him about the bullies and definitely try to fight kyler more than once

you wear his sweaters (fight me on it)

you encourage him to do karate

when he flips the script you’re very happy for him he finally feels confident in himself and you love that for him

now the roles are reversed

hawk protects you now

no one even dares to look at you because they are scared of him

i feel like he has a tattoo for you, whether that's your name or your favorite flower idk but he gets one for you

“um wow okay we’re doing that now” “do you like it or not?” “yeah but i wasn’t expecting it”

sometimes he’ll let you pick his hair color “how about purple” “maybe” 😉

he definitely flirts with your friends “hello ladies!” “hi hawk!” “get out!”

you’re the only one that is allowed to call him eli

“eli i need ten dollars?” “for what?” “a snack” *hands over the money*

“eli can i have your sweatshirt? i’m cold” “yeah take it”

“i can’t, me and eli are going to the movies today”

one day you’re sitting with him and his minions (you refuse to call them friends) at lunch

“so eli” -one of the cobra kais “shut the fuck up! you can’t call him that!” -you

hawk has a proud brother moment

anything that you do hawk is like “fuck yeah that’s my sibling!”

his friends are not allowed to look at you, talk to you, have a crush on you, or even think about you

“woah dude she’s hot” “that’s my fucking sister! stay away from her!”

“eli who’s your friend-” “NO!” 

as eli he will buy you period products but is very shy about it

as hawk he will not be caught dead in that isle of cvs

“eli i need them!” “i don’t care! i’ll drive you there and you can run in and get them”

when hawk breaks demetri’s arm you don't speak to him for weeks

you confront him about his new behavior

“this is who i am!” “no it’s not! you’re not my brother!” 

you’re crying and then storm off to your room

that breaks him

is highkey the start of his redemption

when he’s at the fight at the larusso house, and he sees demetri about to get his arm broken, he thinks of your words: “you're not my brother!”

literally motivates him to fix things

you see hawk and demitri and just know that your brother is back

you hug him so tight

“you were right y/n. i’m sorry” “of course i was. i’m always right” “gee thanks” “love you”  

bonus demetri:

he is a nerd, you are a nerd

the two of you watch star wars, marvel, harry potter, etc. together 

“daddy anakin” “please shut the fuck up”

you want to punch him in the face because he is so sarcastic 

it gets on your nerves 

bust out laughing when johnny makes fun of his pi shirt 

“stop laughing” “if it’s funny i'm gonna laugh”

even though you’re a nerd you’re cool 

like you have a lot of friends in your grade 

“demetri if i don’t talk to you at the halloween party that’s why” gestures to his costume 

listen to his rants about how eli’s changed 

you try to give him advice, but it doesn’t work out

so proud of him when he joins miyagi-do

“i'm glad you’re stepping out of your comfort zone” 

demetri tries to get you to join miyagi-do

if you do join great more sibling bonding

if you don’t join no biggie y’all are still besties

y’all go to the comic book store together

its sibling bonding time

you threaten to fight hawk after the laser tag thing 

“hey asshole you leave my brother alone!” 

you sign his cast first

you definitely write some inside joke that only the two of you understand

you see him kissing yas and do a whole 🤮

“so you dating yas?” “idk why” “just checking”

very obvious about your distaste for her

when him and hawk become friends again you’re very wary

“he broke your arm” “he apologized” “he broke your arm!!!”

eventually you and hawk are on semi decent terms

“demetri forgave you and that’s fine but i’m still not over it”

your relationship = the perfect mix of love and teasing  

bonus bonus king bert 🙌🏻:

you are older than him by like a year

but you’re still besties for life 

you’re very proud of him when he joins cobra kai

“im joining a karate dojo” “period pop off”

you always ruffle his hair 

cheer for him at the all valley

“yeah bert!”

but also like you can’t watch 

when he gets eliminated you cringe 

he’s sad about it 

“i just wanted to impress you” “im very impressed bert, you did great” 

your opinion matters so much to him

he’s such a small cinnamon roll 🥺🥺

seeing him with the older cobra kai boys makes you soft

“y/n i’m going out with hawk and miguel can you drive me?” 

bert admires you a lot, like you are his hero

y’all are the best sibling duo and that’s on period

[release-the-mccracken]

please write more bert x quinn bottom bert pleaseeeee

Sure thing! Here ya go

I'm Melting In Your Eyes (Like My First Time)

Rating: Explicit

Ship: Bert McCracken x Quinn Allman

Warnings: Drug use, high sex, drunk sex, loss of virginity, anal sex, bottom Bert, top Quinn, blow jobs, rough sex, unsafe sex, outdoor sex, creampie, dirty talk (kinda)

Words: 3,521

Ao3 link or read below the cut. <3

They were barely in their twenties the first time it happened. Bert figured he would remember  that night until the day he died. It had been pretty good, they’d pulled together enough money to get a shitty motel room and dinner that night. Roaches crawled over every surface and Bert could hear a couple fighting three doors down from their room all night, but at least they had a roof over their heads. Rain drilled against the windows and the drawn curtains blocked out every amount of light. Branden and Jepha were curled up asleep in one of the beds, their breathing even and no movement coming from their side of the room. Quinn rested in bed with Bert because it seemed the most natural. 

But Bert hadn’t fallen asleep, eyes wide open as he stared at the ceiling and his mind running wild with thoughts of absolutely nothing. He’d been confused when Quinn moved over top of him, his bare skin warm and his breath reeking of the shitty beer they’d all had earlier. His hips fell open awkwardly to let Quinn settle onto him, pressing way too close. Bert didn’t shove him away, though. He simply looked up at Quinn through the darkness, body thrumming hard and definitely not sober enough to be able to keep up with what was going on. His pupils were blown wide and his body didn’t even feel like his own as Quinn leaned down to press a small kiss to his cheek a bit nervously. 

“Just let me do this,” Quinn mumbled out and Bert wasn’t sure what ‘this’ was, but he made no moves to stop the other. Bert could feel himself nodding even though he didn’t feel like he was even in his body anymore. The next thing he knew, Quinn was pulling his boxers down his hips and grasping onto his thin waist. Bert had always been insecure about how he looked, always a bit too skinny and a bit too sharp. But now, Quinn was stroking over his skin like he was perfect. “Fuck. You feel like a girl,” Quinn laughed and Bert felt his mouth go bitter. Of course, it wasn’t gay if you told your bandmate he felt like a girl before shoving your cock into him. Bert knew that was unfair. Quinn wasn’t like that. He’d never cared if something was gay or straight, he was just himself. Bert knew that deep down. 

“So do you,” Bert breathed out, hands moving up to find Quinn’s soft face. His fingers stroked over the shaved skin there, petting at the baby soft hairs that were beginning to grow back in. Quinn laughed again, soft and airy in his throat as he lined his cock up. It felt gross, wet and spongy despite being hard. Bert didn’t know what it was covered in, but it was tacky and viscous all at once. Maybe a strange mix of saliva, precum, and the cheap travel-sized body lotion the motel left on the counter. “Do it,” Bert wasn’t sure if his words sounded more like a dare or permission, but Quinn seemed to take it as a promise instead. He pressed forward quickly and surely, pushing himself inside slowly but steadily. It seemed to be never ending and Bert breathed a bit harder. 

“Jesus Christ,” Quinn breathed once he bottomed out, sounding choked up already. Bert briefly wondered if this was the first time Quinn had ever fucked somebody before, but he didn’t bother asking. It didn’t matter much either way, he figured. If he was a little more sober, Bert would’ve felt embarrassed by the noise that left his own throat at the full feeling. He couldn’t lie and say he’d never gotten curious about his own ass, but a finger up there felt a whole lot different than Quinn’s entire cock. Still, he only adjusted to it for less than a minute before he whispered at Quinn to move. The blonde haired man didn’t need any extra encouragement before he began moving. “You feel so fucking good around me,” He whispered close to Bert’s neck, seeming to be in awe of everything happening. 

Bert didn’t say much else, occasionally having a soft noise forced out of him by the force of Quinn’s thrusting. Above him, Quinn made all kinds of noises. Loud and uninhibited, and Bert wondered if he always sounded like this or if being high made him louder. In fairness, Quinn was usually high anyway so that might skew the perception of what was ‘normal’ behavior for him. Bert was happy that Jepha had already passed out and that Branden slept like the dead once he was asleep. He wasn’t sure how he’d explain Quinn pounding him into the mattress or risk them hearing the breathy noises he himself was beginning to let out as Quinn hit his prostate. 

“Oh, fuck. Bert,” Quinn groaned after some amount of time. Bert’s perception of time felt so fucked up while he was high, every minute simultaneously feeling like seconds and hours. But at least the drugs made his entire body completely relaxed and pleasure felt even more intense like this. Quinn buried his face into where Bert’s shoulder met his neck and Bert slid his hand up the nape of Quinn’s neck, burying his fingers deep into his hair. “It’s so tight. I’m gonna-” Quinn cut himself off, groaning quietly. He was barely pulling himself out each time he moved, simply jackrabbiting his hips into the other man. He was nearly delirious with how good Bert felt around him. 

“You wanna come inside me? Know you do, Quinny. Come on,” Bert breathed out, gripping onto blonde hair a little tighter. He reveled in the way Quinn gasped and seized up, hips stuttering as he finally emptied himself inside of Bert. “There we go,” Bert laughed out a bit too harshly, patting Quinn on the back. He smiled as he heard Quinn panting and whining against the curve of his neck. His fingers pushed up into the back of sweaty blonde hair, cupping the back of his head. “Good job,” He pressed a small kiss to Quinn’s temple and finally began drifting off beneath him. 

It started happening more and more after that night. Despite neither of them remembering completely, they both remembered enough that it continued to happen. The first time they did it sober, they were spending the weekend at Bert’s childhood home. It seemed like the best idea ever when Bert snuck into his bedroom where Quinn was lying down, whispering for him to come outside with him. Bert’s parents would kill him if they caught him with a guy, especially underneath their roof, and there were too many people who might wake up if they risked messing around in the house. 

Bert felt like he was a teenager again, but getting to have normal teenager experiences for the first time. It felt like he was back to sixteen with how carefree and excited he felt as he snuck out of the house, Quinn following close behind him. They were both laughing as they ran down the small concrete path that led to the forest behind the house. When they were far enough into the woods to not have to worry about being caught, Bert was turning around so abruptly that Quinn was crashing into him. He seemed to anticipate this, grabbing onto Quinn to keep them from knocking their heads into each other. 

Quinn didn’t have time to catch up to what was happening before Bert was kissing him. It was rough and messy, and neither could keep themselves from laughing against one another. It felt ridiculous to be fully grown men and to still be sneaking off into the forest to mess around. Quinn couldn’t deny the feeling of butterflies beginning to flutter in his stomach, feeling nervous in a way he hadn’t in a while. For a while, they just stood there and kissed before lowering themselves onto the ground. Bert settled down onto his back, ignoring the wetness spreading over his back due to the grass being dewy. Boxers were easily worked off and Bert pressed a small packet of lube into Quinn’s hand. 

“You brought that to your parents’ house?” Quinn teased, taking the packet and beginning to stroke himself with his other hand. It felt weird to jerk off in the middle of the dark forest, kneeling in between Bert’s legs. But he was able to get over how strange it seemed pretty easily, smiling a bit as he watched Bert reaching down to jack himself off shamelessly. That was one thing that he’d quickly learned about Bert. The man had absolutely no shame, especially when it came to sex. 

“What can I say? I always wanted a pretty boy to fuck me here,” Bert was grinning up at him, showing far too many teeth. It was intoxicating, contagious like a disease and Quinn found himself grinning back. He didn’t know when his heart had started skipping beats when he looked at Bert, but that was now a thing that happened. “Kinda fantasy fulfillment. Hurry up and stick it in me,” And who was Quinn to argue with that? He helped Bert flip over onto his stomach and he luckily turned without fussing about it. It was awkward trying to get in the right position and they were both laughing by the time they got it just right. But both their laughs died off into moans when Quinn finally got his cock slicked up and began pushing inside of the dark haired man. 

“Fuck. You always feel so good,” Quinn managed to say, feeling like he was choking on his own words as he tried to give Bert time to adjust. He’d never had anything up his own ass, but he figured it would be uncomfortable and he’d appreciate getting some time to get used to the feeling. It took all of his willpower to not just start thrusting as soon as he was inside. He hadn’t hooked up a lot in his life, but Bert was by far the best he’d ever had. It was almost painfully tight and burning hot, slicked perfectly by the lube he’d used. “Just let me know when you’re ready for me to start moving,” Quinn murmured out after a few seconds, pressing a kiss to one of Bert’s grass-stained shoulders. 

“How are you so fucking long? Feels like you’re playing in my intestines,” Bert rambled off as his body tried to adjust to the feeling of being so full when he was sober. It was a weird feeling, not quite painful, just an uncomfortable and unfamiliar sensation. Maybe it would be easier if Quinn had a smaller cock, but he wasn’t about to complain about the guy he was fucking having a big dick. Quinn himself grimaced a bit at the words, trying to ignore the mental image. “Get your ass moving,” That was the distraction Quinn needed and he didn’t need to be told twice. His hips pulled out slowly, leaving only the head of his cock inside before he shoved back inside roughly. “Fuck, Allman!” Quinn would’ve been concerned at that if Bert hadn’t moaned half of his name out. 

“You feel perfect, baby. Perfect little hole for me to fuck,” Quinn murmured out, voice just loud enough for Bert to hear. The words were messing with him more than he wanted to admit. Quinn didn’t usually talk like this, but it was certainly a pleasant change. Sooner than he anticipated, he was pressing a hand back between his thighs and wrapping his fingers around himself. Quinn’s words and movements were quickly making him needy, groaning as he started stroking himself. He tried to match the pace of Quinn’s thrusts, but their movements were always slightly off. Though, he couldn’t bring himself to care too much. “You’re perfect,” The words felt softer than the previous ones had been, less focused on sex and more on themselves, but neither were ready to look too deeply into that.

“Keep going, baby. You feel perfect. Aim a little higher,” Bert rambled out a mess of praises and demands, sounding more desperate as time ticked on. Quinn could understand why. Not only did it feel good, but fucking Bert in the dirt and grass made things feel more primal. More right. It seemed like the only thing that mattered was them. Quinn followed every request as they were given, angling his hips up a bit and yanking Bert back against him harder. Bert gasped out his name as he did so, making Quinn smile and move faster. “Just like that,” He encouraged and Quinn couldn’t keep his eyes open, focusing on the increasingly loud sounds Bert was making and keeping his pace steady. 

It felt like hours passed them by like that. Quinn managed to keep up a good rhythm, holding off his own orgasm until Bert finished first. He knew it wouldn’t be much longer, hearing Bert’s hand sounding slicker against himself as he leaked more precum. As odd as it sounded, Quinn knew what noises Bert made when he got closer to finishing. After enough nights of Bert thinking everyone was asleep and some days of him just being fucked up enough to not care who was awake, Quinn could recognize what every sound coming from Bert meant.

   He smiled when he was proven right. After a few more thrusts, Bert was letting out a quiet gasp of Quinn’s name and painting the wet grass beneath him. Quinn pressed a kiss to one of the man’s shoulders, burying his face into his sweaty skin as he continued. His hands readjusted on Bert to give himself more leverage. He knew Bert would get oversensitive really quickly and he wanted to finish before that happened. His thrusts were far more shallow now, barely pulling out an inch before he was fucking back into him. It wouldn’t be much longer before he came as well, already feeling so close to getting off and Bert clenching tighter around him made it even easier. Quinn didn’t make many noises when he got off, but he let out a shaky exhale as his movements faltered and he came inside of Bert. 

He felt weightless as he slumped down against Bert’s skin a bit, trying to catch his breath and recover. They were both panting together in the grass, the night air a bit chilly now that their skin was so warm and sweating. But neither of them minded. It took all that was in them to not fall asleep there, but Bert knew his parents would freak if they’d seemingly disappeared into the night and they’d lose their minds even more if they found them all tangled together outside. Bert smiled into the dirt, satisfied that he’d gotten what he’d always wanted. He couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone besides Quinn as cheesy as that sounded; he knew it’d always be the most fun with Quinn. 

The next time they found themselves in a similar situation, it was far less romantic. Both of them were laughing outside of their bus, nighttime surrounding them. They’d been drinking and smoking all night, and it was all finally catching up to them. Bert knew he was properly messed up when he listened to Quinn laughing and he felt his heart racing pleasantly in response. He managed to keep his thoughts to himself, but he furrowed his eyebrows when Quinn pulled him closer and smiled brightly. It didn’t last very long before Quinn’s hand was pushing him towards the ground. 

“Do you seriously think I’m gonna suck your cock?” Bert had laughed when Quinn shoved him down to his knees. His words were more to argue rather than to genuinely say no. He knew if he actually didn’t want to do this, he could just stand up and tell Quinn to fuck off. The bite of his words were mostly from anxiousness, he’d never sucked a guy off before and he really hadn’t planned on it tonight either. “I’m not your fucking girlfriend,” He huffed out dramatically as Quinn shoved his jeans and boxers down his thighs enough to stroke his cock. Somehow, he looked even bigger when Bert was facing him like this, focused completely in on the other man’s dick in front of him. 

“You’re pretty enough to be. Just open,” Quinn muttered and maybe Bert was just a sucker for praise. His mouth opened reluctantly before he could even stop it from happening, leaning and leaning until the head slipped inside. It was weird and gross, and nothing like anything Bert had ever done before. He licked at the head awkwardly, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do. He tried to think about what he liked when he was having someone go down on him and tried to repeat that on Quinn. “Fuck, yeah. You’re doing really good,” Quinn murmured out. Bert knew it was mostly being fucked up that was clouding Quinn’s judgment, making everything feel ten times better. Maybe he just didn’t get his dick sucked a lot and anything would feel good to him. Bert decided he found it very endearing.

The minutes felt like hours as Bert bobbed his head slowly, trying to ease himself into the feeling. Quinn luckily wasn’t pushy, didn’t grab at Bert’s head or thrust his hips up. His fingers simply slipped into greasy hair, giving himself something to hold onto rather than pushing at him. He was louder when he was high than when he was sober, breathy gasps and quiet moans pulling themselves free from his throat whenever Bert moved in a pleasurable way. It was encouraging for the man on his knees, making him feel like he was doing something right and spurring him to continue. When he was high, his mind latched onto something and refused to let go of it. And right now, Bert was fully focused on trying to get Quinn to come like this and to prove that he was good at giving head after all. 

Precum tasted gross every time more leaked out, but the alcohol in Bert’s body numbed him to the taste. It made it more tolerable and let him focus on drawing more sounds out of the blonde haired man. He sucked a bit harder, focusing on the head of Quinn’s cock. He’d always loved playing with his own when he got off, so he figured it was safe to assume Quinn would like it too. He ended up being right, Quinn whining and rocking his hips up a bit at the feeling. He shouldn’t be as obsessed with Quinn’s noises as he was, but he felt proud that he was the one causing him to make those sounds. It was an odd sense of accomplishment rising up in his chest. 

He was finally getting into it, but his jaw was beginning to ache. Bert was used to screaming, to laughing, to grinning like a lunatic. He wasn’t used to having someone’s cock in his mouth while he sucked them off, though. It was leaving an odd sense of soreness that he was sure would only be worse in the morning. For a moment, he began to pull away from Quinn. Before he could get too far, Quinn’s fingers tangled tighter into his hair and kept him pressed down against him. Bert felt panic rising up in his chest, but a few moments of Quinn rocking up into him softly, warmth and bitterness was filling his mouth. It was thick and slimy, and easily the grossest thing Bert ever experienced. 

Bert held it in his mouth, feeling like he might puke if he tried to swallow it. And the last thing he wanted was to puke out a mess of alcohol and Quinn’s come. He climbed to his feet off of the dirt and his knees hurt a bit from being pressed into the hard ground for so long. Quinn was grinning at him, seeming blissed out and endeared by Bert. He figured it was easy for Quinn to feel giddy and happy when he’d just gotten off. It irritated him a little bit, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel genuinely angry at the other man. He’d never been good at staying mad at him for very long.  

Quinn tried to kiss him, wet and open-mouthed, but Bert caught his chin between his fingers before he could. He was grinning as he spit Quinn’s own come back into his mouth, pushing away from him and heading back to their bus before Quinn’s mind could catch up to what was going on. He felt proud of himself, so much so that he couldn’t even hear what Quinn was yelling at him. For a few hours after, Quinn would sulk around and be pissed off about what happened. But after a while, he’d finally crawl into bed with Bert and pretend that nothing had even happened. And Bert wanted to laugh, wasn’t that just a perfect summary of their entire relationship?

[anxious2dsimp]

General Dating Headcanons | Sero, Todoroki & Bakugou

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‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Pairings: Sero x Reader, Todoroki x Reader, Bakugou x Reader

Reader: Gender Neutral!

Format: Headcanons​

Warnings: Cursing bc Bakugou 🙄 (as if I wasn’t the one who picked him lmao)

Request: :))) hellooooo :D hmmmm may i get general dating headcanons for sero, todoroki, and [insert your favorite character]? 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 @smexy-goose

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Hi again!! Omg yes, I’ll gladly write some hcs for the best bois! I had a hard time picking a fave, but since I have written for Kami and Kiri in the last request I decided to go with blasty boy❤️ (Also, I’m trying a new way to post requests, I hope it works!)

Sero Hanta

I feel like Sero is genuinely so fun to date, just like he said in that one dorm episode, he’s always the wild card.

He’s a goofball, so he adores making you laugh and smile as much as he can. I love him omg😭

Will definitely take advantage of his height (he’s among the taller ones in the class) and give you surprise hugs from behind and rest his head on yours.

He’ll also use his quirk on you for everything from pranks to just randomly pulling you to him to give you a quick peck or a hug :’)

He’s pretty standard with PDA, so he won’t go around making out with you in public but he will do little gestures like those <3

In private I feel like he’s definitely cuddly, he’s just so happy to be with you!

He loves having you over at his room to just chill or be in each other’s presence, even if you’re doing stuff individually.

Speaking of, the bakusquad definitely complains about you having privilege in using the hammock in Hanta’s room. 

Denki will whine like; “why does y/n always get to use the hammock? You said it was out of bounds!”

“That’s on pretty privilege, sorry! And you’re just jealous you don’t have a cool s/o like mine,” Sero will say and poke his tongue out from the hammock where you’re swinging togehter :’) 

I’m warning you now, if you had a healthy sleep schedule before going out with him, you can kiss it goodbye.

Sero will absolutely be up till like 3 am sending you memes and tiktoks that remind him of you.

And with him blowing up your phone you’ll most likely end up talking into ungodly hours of the night, the *sleep deprivation* only causing funnier conversations.

Those will end up becoming inside jokes that he’ll bring up to make you laugh while the rest of the class is like ???

That also results in some weird ass nicknames sorry not sorry

So he’ll sometimes call you regular stuff like babe and other times... he’ll call you things like “Bert” (FOR NO REASON??) or “Candied Blood Pumping Organ” instead of sweetheart lmao

Overall you two are just THE chaotic couple (and if you’re not generally that way he will bring out that side of you)

Pranking your classmates? Pranking each other? Random ass adventures? Trying weird food together? Dancing in the kitchen at midnight while sharing late night snacks? By going out with him you said yes to all of the above.

From sneaking out of the dorms for late night food runs to occasionally skipping class to go to the arcade or the beach, you usually can’t go a week without doing something fun togehter.

This one time you two were out with the Bakusquad and y’all stopped by a supermarket to get food. 

So you had to ask Bakugou to buy you something bc you and Sero had to stay outside and just hand him the money.

He was like “tf?? why? Just buy your shit yourselves!” You had to explain you two were banned from the store because Hanta had accidentally crashed a cart he was driving you around in into a display of cereal boxes.

Ah yes, good times.

Todoroki Shoto

I feel like he’ll definitely need a small push when it comes to relationships bc of his past, but once you’re with him he’ll care deeply about you and will try to make you as happy as you make him :’)

I’m begging you, please give this boy some luv and affection!! For the most part you’d probably initiate PDA because he’s too nervous to do it himself

At the beginning he wouldn’t even be comfy cuddling, solely because he’d be afraid of hurting you somehow :(

But once you’ve reassured him he complies, and from then on out you just have to open your arms and he’ll instantly know it’s *cuddle time*

It’a one of his favorite pastimes bc he just feels so safe and loved <3 he also just loves the feeling of you playing with his hair

Luckily you get to do it year round since you cuddle his hot side in the winter and cold side during the summer

I feel like he’s secretly insecure, so the fact that you trust him and love him for who he is makes him feel like he could melt <3

Because of that you’re the only one he truly opens up to and shows his real feelings to, not to mention the only one who can touch his scar

And though he isn’t great with words, one look at him during one of these personal moments when its just you two, and you can just see it in his eyes.

Especially if you kiss his scar, his eyes might even get teary this sweet boy I 😭

That’s also probably why he shares his precious cold soba with you

Since you’ve been together, Shoto has just been so much happier, so his siblings and mother LOVE you.

They’re constantly inviting you over for dinner when Endevour is working (bc he’s a huge buzzkill to say the least), and his mom adores when you come with Shoto to visit her :)

Todoroki really enjoys seeing you get along with the people he cares the most about...

 BUT what he hates is THE EMBARRASING STORIES HIS FAMILY TELLS YOU OMG (you live for them, but I wouldn’t tell him that if I were you)

“Fuyumi remember when Shoto-” “Natsuo, no💙“ your bf will say as he unconsciously squeezes your hand, both of the siblings laughing at Shoto’s glare.

You had to hold in your laughter so hard omg

Though he isn’t that talkative, you guys definitely have that kind of relationship where you two could be silent and still feel completely comfortable (oh I’m so jealous of that but nvm)

He’s definitely observant, so expect the most considerate gifts and the most assertive observations, he’ll always know what you need.

The type of observant that gives you a water bottle before you even notice you’re thristy during training, or switches sides while walking so you loop your arm with his on his warm side when you’re cold.

Also the type to gift you that one thing you really wanted but mentioned once like months ago along with your favorite snacks/drink (you best believe he has them all memorized bc he’s just that attentive)

Over all, just a really soothing relationship were you can be comfortable with each other and feel at home when you’re together.

Bakugou Katsuki

Ok so, I feel like you’d be a competitive couple, turning anything into a competition in an endearingly annoying way.

You’re definitely the type of couple to go to laser tag, an escape room, an arcade, etc, as dates >:) but the competitions don’t end there:

Who can plan the best date? Who can make the other blush first? Who can get the other the better gift? Who’s the better kisser? Who gets the higher score in class? Or wins at sparring?

Especially when it comes to productive stuff like training or academics, although he won’t admit it, he’s just pushing you to be your best because he knows how amazing you are :’)

All the bakusquad knows about your shenanigans and at this point they’ve learnt to stay out of it & go get the Advil just in case bless their souls lmao

I’m sorry but he definitely calls you nicknames that purposely piss you off (with no ill intentions ofc), like “gremlin”, “dumbass” or “booger”

I suggest you also call him stuff like that back, like “angry pom” or “blasty” to get on his nerves >:)

You guys also definitely friendly bicker all the time, knowing that you take it lightly (though strangers won’t, resulting in some hilariously awkward situations)

“You’re such a fucking idiot,” he’ll say rolling his eyes as he messes up your hair.

Just watch his smirk dissapears when you reply, “no, u❤️″ It gets on his nerves, I just know it.

So he’ll chase you around as you call each other random stuff. While the other people at the convenience store are just like  👁👄👁

He never means it tho, keep in mind if you’re dating the self proclaimed future no. 1 hero he thinks highly of you :)

So he’d definitely be protective while simultaneously showing you off <3

Will always greet you with a kiss and keep his hand on your back or waist so ppl know you’re with him

RIP anyone who tries to hurt or flirt with you, I say try bc Bakugou will be exploding them even before they get the chance😅

Denki’s definitely almost gotten his brows blown off his face bc of that lol

Speaking of, the bakusquad still can’t get over the fact that THE lord explosion murder has a soft spot for you,

You mean you take care of his injuries, scold him when he burns himself out, touch his hair, and hug him when his moody... and you DON’T get cussed out and blown up? Shooketh

However they don’t see what happens behind closed doors, & how you’ve helped him with all the trauma he has experienced

You’re the only one who he is vulnerable with, you’ve seen him cry and he tells you about his nightmares and fears

You do the same with him, and you promise each other to get through anything together, which you’ve done so far :’)

Bc of that his parents love you, and his mom’s always going on about how she’s so glad you “stand” his son😂

Why can’t he be real ughhh

[wakatvshi]

Helloooo!!!i would to ask if you could write a bertholdt x reader where (please get ready for it it complicated as hell) where reader notices that bert likes annie and decides to help him while the reader like armin but during all this bertholdt and the reader start falling for eachother<3 sorry its so long TwT but if its to much i understand!!

This was so much fun to write! I really hope you like this and that other people like it too! It got kinda long but I couldn’t help myself. Tell me if you like it!

warnings: literally none.

word count: 2224

“So! Did you decide to go through with my plan?” Bertholdt jumped when you grabbed his arm, stopping him from walking outside the mess hall. “Today is one of the only free days we have and if we don’t do your part today I don’t know when we’ll get another chance.” This whole ‘convince Annie to date Bertholdt’ thing had been your idea originally. You’d seen him staring at her when he thought no one was looking, it was a pathetic look honestly but you recognized it to well. It was the same one you had when you saw Armin. Only where you had the nerve to actually speak to him, Bertholdt clammed up in normal conversations, let alone talking to Annie. 

When he hadn’t replied you looked back at him only to realize he was staring at your hand still holding onto his forearm. You felt your face heat up and quickly let go, what the hell was wrong with you? You had to focus on trying to help him and think less about how surprisingly muscular his forearm was. This was about Bertholdt and Annie. And Armin and yourself eventually. Whenever it felt right to say something you’d do it. Of course you would. 

Behind you Bertholdt cleared his throat and you looked to him, “I just… are we sure it should be today? Maybe she’s busy or… something.” He’d gotten better at not blushing at every mention of her name but you could still see the pink tinge in his cheeks. That and the fact that after all these weeks spent together trying to get him confident enough to talk to Annie, you’d learned to read him pretty decently. “We could just try another time I don’t know about today. I don’t want to bother her.” 

He was sweet. Even if he was just saying it to try to get out of talking to her, he was still sweet. It was almost annoying actually, the amount of things about him you found endearing. The way he sometimes stuttered, the way he played with his hands when he was nervous and oddly enough when he’d break out in nervous sweats. Before you’d never really given him much thought but since helping him you’d almost been able to do nothing but think of him. 

Your agreeing to help him was in part you wanting to help him and the other part wanting to get closer to Armin. You could talk to the blonde just fine but when it came to knowing what he liked, that you had no idea. Bertholdt and Armin were pretty close, when you saw them together usually they were reading or talking about some book they’d read. Armin’s intelligence was really amazing to well… everyone here and his theories and such on the books he read was amazing. Aside from Mikasa and Eren it was Bertholdt who listened to him talk about it. You’d tried but honestly you didn’t really get it but you liked the passion in his voice. 

But that was why you went to Bertholdt. It was supposed to be a mutual help thing with helping you both get the people you liked. You messed up though. Somewhere between asking Bertholdt for help and having him pretend you were Annie to confess to her your interest in Armin started fading. You hadn’t meant for it to happen but before you even knew it Bertholdt was the only one on your mind. 

That was why you needed to get him with Annie. The sooner that actually happened the sooner you could force this crush out of your mind. As soon as you shook this feeling you’d be back to realizing how great Armin was. If Annie rejected him it would be harder to get over it but you’d do it. Not that you wanted to think about Annie rejecting him either, you couldn’t imagine how crushed he’d be. If your plan failed you’d also be partly to blame for convincing him that she would like him. But literally you couldn’t see a single reason why she wouldn’t. 

You gave him a small smile before you shook your head, “Today is a free day. You know Annie. She’s literally going to take the chance to just do nothing and be alone all day. So this is the chance, tell her you just need help trying to out do Reiner in hand-to-hand combat and she’ll help you.” Bertholdt was really a jack of all trades, there wasn’t anything you’d seen him not excel at let alone fail. But if he brought up beating Reiner it would get her. 

“You really think it will work?” He sounded hesitant, but you’d put a lot into figuring out what would get the two of them alone possibly long enough for him to work up the courage to confess. “I really don’t think she’s interested in me like that Y/N. She barely even looks at me.” 

You bit back the jealousy that crept on you again, this was for him. If you liked him you would help him be happy. “She looks at you more than you think Bertholdt. And if she does say no you tried, you were brave! You told me you wanted to be more confident and this is your chance, I believe in you.” Before you could stop yourself you continued, “And anyone who rejects you is an idiot. You’re amazing.” 

His green eyes widened and he opened his mouth only to quickly close it. Did you say too much? Give away your feelings? You couldn’t regret what you said though, it was the truth. “I can do it.” The resolve in his voice made your own eyes widen. “I’ll do it today. I can’t leave it like it is.” 

With that he was gone, walking out of the mess hall muttering to himself and you were left standing there. Watching him walk away so he could get ready to tell Annie that he was practically in love with her. And that was fine. You could do that. You could handle it. The tears pricking the backs of your eyes were trying to tell a different story. 

Deciding to spend the rest of your free day after lunch in your bunk was the best idea. Most of the others were off doing their own thing, you could hear Sasha and Connie outside arguing with Jean about something. Marco was probably watching them and Armin, Mikasa and Eren were undoubtedly together somewhere. You knew you’d be welcome to join one of them but you were sure Sasha would try to cheer you up and seeing Armin right now… you think you could. 

This whole thing was supposed to push Bertholdt to Annie and you to Armin. You hadn’t even noticed until he brought it up that you’d really done nothing to help you get to know Armin better. It was easy then to just shrug it off and tell him you would help him woo Annie before the focus turned to you. You thought that was what it was in the beginning but you knew better now. 

Turning your head at the sound of a knock on the door you were surprised to see Reiner standing in the doorway of the girls barracks. “Bertholdt said he changed his mind.” One of his own rules were to leave Reiner out of it, he didn’t want his best friend getting involved in his love life because he’d never live it down. “He said you’d know what that meant.” 

Letting out a huff you pushed yourself off the bed, “Did he say why? This was the perfect chance!” Reiner to his credit did his best to not look too confused, it was clear he wasn’t used to not knowing what was going on with Bertholdt. “Where is he?”

The blonde male stepped to the side when you pushed past him outside of the barracks. “He’s outside the training grounds.” Reiner jerked his head in the direction, “What’s he supposed to be doing?” 

“Doesn’t matter.”You walked off towards the training grounds leaving the confused man behind. This was supposed to be the day. He’d sounded so sure of himself earlier, you’d never heard him sound so sure of anything as long as you’d known him. Whatever was holding him back you could talk him through, he could do this. You knew he could, he just needed to get that confidence he had before back. 

As much as he needed to do this you needed him to. If he was with Annie you could give yourself a sure reason why he didn’t want you other than the fact that you just weren’t his type. If he was off limits it would be easier to accept. And you wanted him happy or to at least be able to say he’d tried. If he was able to at least try maybe it would help him with the next person he fell for. You’d put weeks into this, sat there and watched him go from a blushing mess to actually being able to say “I like you Annie..” Even if it was so stuttered you hardly understood him.

The first time he’d said that, even if it was to you ‘as Annie’ you knew you’d fallen too deep. But still you pushed on and helped him, he deserved love. Even if it wasn’t with you. You’d help him because he deserved that. Your feelings about him didn’t matter in the end.

Passing Mina, Thomas and a few others trying to work with their ODM gear you headed towards one of the other small clearings near by. You weren’t sure where he was exactly but this was the most common place to find he and Reiner when they decided to do their ‘push up contests’ or whatever it was they did so it was the best place to start.  

Stepping into the clearing you spotted Bertholdt sitting on one of the large rocks not looking your way. He was staring down, probably at his hands where you could practically see him fidgeting even though you couldn’t actually see him. You’d memorized too many things about him by now. 

Letting out a small sigh you walked over towards him, the man in question not realizing you were there until you started crawling up the rock he was sitting on. He glanced back at you over his shoulder, watching you until you sat down next to him. The two of you were quiet for a few minutes, you looking at him and Bertholdt just staring down. “What happened?” You finally asked. 

He looked at you for a second before he shrugged and looked out at the trees. “I don’t know. I just couldn’t tell Annie.” You’d not seen Annie since breakfast that morning but you didn’t know if he actually tried, hopefully he did. “I thought about it, I wanted to. But then I realized it wouldn’t work.” 

“I mean Annie’s a bit hard to get along with but you knew that when you decided this earlier.” You had no idea what made him change his mind but you’d hoped he’d do it. You liked seeing the confidence on his face. 

Bertholdt let out a bit of a laugh before he shook his head, “That’s not actually what I decided.” He bit the inside of his lip and you could see him withdraw in on himself. “I was going to confess but… I can’t confess to Annie.” 

Raising an eyebrow at him you waited for him to continue but he didn’t. You could see his hands shaking a little and you wanted to reach out and grab his hand but you stopped yourself. “Why not?” 

“It’s not her.” His words came out in a rush, “I can’t tell her I like her when I don’t.” If you weren’t used to his stuttering you’d not understand him “It wouldn’t be fair. To her or uh… you.” 

You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, he couldn’t be saying that could he? There was no way he was actually saying what you thought he was. “Not fair to me? Because I helped you? It’s… I can help you with another person!” That had to be what he meant. 

Bertholdt looked away from you, “I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes, “I know about Armin and I was supposed to help you but I just… I can’t. I’m sorry I don’t even know when it happened.” He looked ashamed, “But I said I was going to do it. I was going to confess and… I did” 

That was true. He thought you were still in love with Armin and he was sitting here confessing to you. Even though he thought you would reject him he still told you that he liked you. You couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up in your chest, “Yeah. You did.” You could feel the tears building up in your eyes. 

You didn’t notice the hurt look on his face when you threw your arms around him, burying your face in his shoulder. “It’s not Armin either. It hasn’t been Armin for a long time.” You looked at him again, his entire face was bright red but he was slowly moving his arms around you. “It’s you.”