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shadowkoo · 1 year

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All About You

A Bangtan x Hockey series by @shadowkoo!

The upcoming season for the Denver Dragons is predicted to be an absolute game-changer! From lightning-fast breakaways to jaw-dropping saves, get ready to witness a showcase of skill, determination, and pure passion in both the game on the ice and the one in these player's hearts. The team is hungrier than ever, prepared to do whatever it takes to secure their victory. With rivalries heating up, new talent on the rise, and fresh sparks flying, this season promises unforgettable matchups that will have fans on the edge of their seats. So grab your jerseys and get ready to witness what this season has coming. Let the games begin! 🏒🔥

Bad For You - coming soon ↳ Official Teaser

Jungkook wants what he can’t have and it’s driving him nuts. He’s never thought of Natasha more than Namjoon’s annoying little sister, but that’s all changed now that she’s returned from university. Especially now that she plan to stay at his apartment until further notice. Having Tasha around takes his mind off the importance of this season, something he cannot have happen since last season ended so badly. A distraction like her might either become the biggest mistake of his life, or perhaps the best one.

Natasha know better than to sleep with the up-and-coming, all-star, fan-favorite hockey forward for the Denver Dragons. And it’s not because he’s just as much a player off the ice as he is on it. More importantly, he’s her brother’s teammate, best friend, and the guy whose place she’s crashing at. He’s been off-limits since the day she met him, but it didn’t stop her then, and it sure as fuck isn’t going to stop her now…

↠ pairing: jungkook x o.c. (dual 1st person pov) ↠ position: forward, right-wing ↠ trope: brother's best friend, forced proximity, age gap, forbidden relationship ↠ installment: 1/7

Thinking About You - coming soon

Taehyung has a secret. He's got a big, fat schoolgirl-esque crush on one of the hockey moms of the Dragon's sponsored junior league hockey team. He finds it utterly repulsive that merely catching sight of Florence sends a flurry of butterflies to the center of his stomach, an entirely foreign sensation he's not sure he enjoys. As if that wasn't bad enough, he also recently discovered that he transforms into a bumbling, incoherent mess in her presence, a behavior that is completely unlike him.

Everyone knows Kim Taehyung is the most popular guy on the team, especially in the eyes of all the puck bunnies chasing after him. He's a smooth-talking, swoon-worthy, wet-your-panties-by-simply-grinning-at-you type of ladies' man that women just can't get enough of. And based on what Florence has heard, he used to eat that shit up, using it to his advantage at every available opportunity. But now, his attention is solely fixated on her, and what's even more astonishing - on her son.

↠ pairing: taehyung x o.c. (dual 1st person pov) ↠ position: centerman ↠ trope: widower, single parent, fuckboy finally settles down ↠ installment: 2/7

Loyal To You - coming soon

Jimin has been eagerly anticipating the holidays for a while now. Not because he has anyone special to go home to or any familial commitments. He's been craving time away from the relentless demands of his career and the ice, a first for him. From the moment he first wore skates at the young age of three, hockey has consumed his entire existence. Yet now, he yearns for a much-needed break from the sport that has been his lifelong passion. Being a professional athlete has its perks (money, women, fame), but it also comes with it's fair share of downs. And lately, life has handed him a lot of downs. Upon arriving at the charming bed and breakfast where he intends to spend the next three weeks, he's instantly captivated by the attractive owner. Julie doesn't seem to recognize him, and she doesn't expect anything from him either. In that moment, he can't help but envision a different life distinct from the one he knows, one where he can be just Park Jimin instead of player #33 of the Denver Dragons.

↠ pairing: jimin x o.c. (dual 1st person pov) ↠ position: forward, left-wing ↠ trope: hidden identity, instant attraction, the big secret ↠ installment: 3/7

Made For You - coming soon

Namjoon has lately found himself thoroughly intrigued by the team photographer for the Dragons. He and Avery have shared a friendship for quite some time, frequently crossing paths at the favored bar of DD Organization and often catching glimpses of each other nearly every day at the arena. He's taken aback by the fact that he's interested in her, considering that they are such polar opposites. He's usually quiet and reserved, channeling his energy into the game and his responsibilities. In contrast, Avery radiates a lively and outgoing presence, greeting people with warmth and capturing candid moments with quick snaps of your camera. When Namjoon finally musters the courage to ask her out, a small comment from you about seeing him as one of your closest friends shatters his spirit before he even gets the chance. Apparently, fate has dictated that they are destined to be just friends, or perhaps he simply needs to sway her perspective...

↠ pairing: namjoon x o.c. (dual 1st person pov) ↠ position: defenseman ↠ trope: coworkers, opposites attract, friends to lovers ↠ installment: 4/7

Lost In You - coming soon

Hoseok is a wild card, and the Denver Dragons Organization has just about had it. It's time for him to simmer down before he's off the ice for good. Their plan? Marriage. Yes, that's right. Hoseok is getting married to a snotty socialite, and the whole arrangement is meant to heal his status in the eyes of the rest of the world. He knows damn well he is the only person to blame for this PR stunt to be his last chance to redeem his shitty reputation. Coach made it very clear that not a single other team expressed any interest in trading for him if he kept heading in his current direction. Between all the fights, the public intoxication charges, and the constant news stories about him, it was bound to happen at some point. He just needs to make it through the next two years without losing it again. A feat that he finds nearly impossible when he's forced to be around Blair, his wife.

↠ pairing: hoseok x o.c. (dual 1st person pov) ↠ position: alternate captain, defenseman ↠ trope: married for convenience, enemies to lovers ↠ installment: 5/7

Searching For You - coming soon

After a complicated fallout with his now ex-fiance, Yoongi has made a recent vow to avoid anything and anyone associated with love. He has no time or use for it. Having weathered numerous failed relationships, his most recent resulting in calling off his wedding the night before, he possesses no need to subject himself to that kind of pain or heartbreak ever again. Especially not with someone as joyful and optimistic as Sage.

People often avoid Yoongi because of his cranky behavior, but Sage questions how much of it is his true personality versus a defence mechanism. It doesn't help that just simply observing Sage's perpetual good mood only seems to piss him off even further. But nevertheless, she's taken notice of him, and has undertaken a challenge of sorts to brighten the mood of the grumpy hockey player who often visits her bagel shop and get him to open up. The problem? He doesn't like to lose, and neither does she.

↠ pairing: yoongi x o.c. (dual 1st person pov) ↠ position: goalie ↠ trope: grumpy sunshine, sworn off relationships ↠ installment: 6/7

Trapped By You - coming soon

Seokjin has had very few moments in his life that have rendered him utterly speechless. Unfortunately, this seems to be one of them. Ophelia is the last person he anticipated seeing on his doorstep so early in the morning. One night stands are supposed to be just that - one night of fun without the moral obligation to see that person ever again. But here she was, nearly four months later, changing that 'rule' with her smudged mascara and a handful of positive pregnancy tests.

Ophelia always assumed she would have a baby at some point in her life; maybe a few years after getting married to the love of her life, when the timing felt right. But right now felt so wrong. She didn't love Seokjin; they barely even know each other. It wasn't supposed to happen like this, and most certainly not with the Captain of the Denver Dragons.

↠ pairing: seokjin x o.c. (dual 1st person pov) ↠ position: captain, centerman ↠ trope: one night stand pregnancy, strangers to lovers ↠ installment: 7/7

Join my taglist to be notified when each fic is posted!

*Disclaimers: Obviously, I am not affiliated with the NHL, given by my fictional team name, nor do I claim to know every single hockey rule or slogan, etc. We’re also intentionally forgetting that Denver already has a pro team for the sake of my sanity LOL. This series is meant to be read in order of release (top to bottom of this post). This series is written in dual first person POV (I did this, I said that) and shows scenes from both character's perspective for each fic. This entire series is 18+ as every fic will contain explicit smut scenes. Minors do not read or interact!

#kvanity #bts series #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook smut #taehyung smut #jimin smut #namjoon smut #hoseok smut #yoongi smut #seokjin smut #hockey!au #hockey!bts #bts au #bts au fanfic #300

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marbledwings · 25 days

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📖 Fanfic Friday!

I have managed to read a number of fics this week and for once I've had the time to compile a list. Time for some fic recs! 💜💜💜

Synchronicity - ClaireGregory

I finally got time to read this! I had been planning on timing it so I was reading during the actual Paris Olympics but best laid plans...anyway, better late than never.

What a gorgeous, insanely hot, incredibly detailed passion project of a fic.

Layover Me - @appleteeth

Combined my hatred of airports with the loveliest meet-cute 🥰 I have been thinking about the romance of the ending ever since I finished it.

Bunny Kisses - @piratecaptainscaptainpirates

A modern AU featuring Ed and Wolf?! Irresistible. Made me want to go out and save every single bunny that needs saving, but I'll settle for reading about Stede being the hero both Ed and Wolf need ❤️

Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me - @soupbtch

Rehearsals have never been this frickin' hot! Perfectly captures Stede's ability to make up for lack of experience with sheer enthusiasm 🔥

Time & Date - @xoxoemynn

THE CLOCK BOYS!!! I love them so much. Their first official date and it is as hot and insane and beautiful as they are 😭

#how lucky are we to have fic?#💕#ofmd fic recs #ofmd

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kaciidubs · 1 year

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✧*̥˚ Changbin's Masterlist*̥˚✧

❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist ❣ Key: 🔥 - Smut | 💕 - Fluff | 💔 - Angst

Three's a Party - College AU! Chris/Reader/Changbin | 🔥 ✧ After studying your ass off for the semester, why not reward yourself with a party and your two favorite guys?

Floaty | 🔥💕 ✧ Cockwarming Changbin while high.

Crave You | 🔥💕 ✧ Lollapalooza had you seeing stars, and now you were determined to make Changbin see the same.

Mind Break | 🔥 ✧ Binnie knows what's best for his bunny, you just need to take it.

✧*̥˚ Nothing Yet *̥˚✧

Aye aye, Captain! | 🔥 ✧ Dressing up as a pirate captain and her very muscly sailor, what's the worst that could happen?

Binnie's Baby Bun | 💕 ✧ Ever since you announced your pregnancy to your husband, his loving treatment skyrocketed to lengths you never believed were possible.

❣ Masterlist banners from @/cafekitsune ❣ Star banner from @/saradika

#✧. ┊ ⁭ kacii's masterlist #Kacii's Masterlist - SKZ #seo changbin x reader #changbin x reader #seo changbin smut #changbin smut

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zimithrus1 · 15 days

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Tagged by the lovely @nicoroni to make a poll about my 5 Favorite movies, voting on which one matches my vibe best! Thank you! 🥰 (I have a lot of favorites, so my top five will be the ones I've watched at least 10 times without ever getting bored of them!)

So watcha think?

And I think I will tag these lovelies! (if they want to play and certainly no pressure if they don't!) @prismaticpichu @up-sideand-down @kazeshxni @thatrandomartistyoufound @waifujuju 🥰❤️

#Thank you for the tag Nico! ❤️#zimianswerz #movie polls

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winterchimez · 6 months

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things/aesthetic you associate with your moots please!

hi anonie!! it’s been a while since i’ve done tag games like this so LETS GAUR 🤩

im doing for the ones that i talk to most often ✨

@from-izzy my soulmate 🤞🏻(who clearly SHOULD be living in my city instead), sunricyeon!!, ✌🏻level-headed and ☝🏻dum-dum, purple 💜, bunnies 🐰, raccoons 🦝, in constant denial of her love life 😒, long calls & video calls, SAUR, music 🎶, “ALLY HELP ME 🥺”, fellow believer in God, concerts, has 19374848 plans to meet up but our studies/job preventing us to do so 😞 (but we will beat them and meet irl someday SOON BCS I MANIFEST)

@sungbeam my precious lil 妹妹 🫶🏻, blue 🩵, “hear me out….but another changmin potential wip/plot 🤡”, photocards, that wet tree rat pc, if talent was a person its her, care packages 📦, fellow introverts ✌🏻, the one who convinced me to purchase my sony headphones while we were videocalling in the store 🥹, my sleep paralysis demon, “ALLY JIEJIE”, my cutie wookie little sis 😔💗, but also goes 😐 whenever i talk abt sangyeon 🙄

@aimeecarreros the unhinged and wild one in the b*****, 1/4 of sangyeon’s whores, twerking ✨, the best gif maker ever 😤, “so elena…pretty pwease can you gif this for moi 🥺”, BBANGJU 👅, “CORREQUE ✌🏻”, insanely hilarious and unhinged memes and text messages 24/7, the moodmaker of the group, “haysss *inserts stripping meme*”, teasing me 24/7 🙄, pinterest, fashion 😍, bridal dresses 🤍

@snowflakewhispers the SAVAGE, maknae and the demon (lovingly) in the b*****, teasing me is her everyday job atp 🙄🙄🙄, mrs jacob bae, 1/4 of sangyeon’s whores, spitting fire 24/7 🔥, matching sony headphones 🤍, matching macbook colours 🩶, psych & kids 💗, the sunwoo to my eric, apparently is in a messed up relationship/situationship with someone who shall not be named 🦝, the moot who lives the closest to where i am 🥹 (so faster get your ass back here after uni ends)

@daisyvisions the unnie of the b*****, NAUR, that iconic zoom selfie 😌✨, constantly being distracted at work bcs of ✨unholy thoughts✨, podcast 🎧, 1/4 of sangyeon’s whores, also joined in on the fun with elena & ophelia on teasing moi 😔, jerry lee 🤤, doggo 🐶, newnudeshot 😏📸, photoism 🎞️, spongebob memes, BIG SEXC BRAIN 🧠, late night talks while working, always judging me for some reason 🙃

@justalildumpling my dongsaeng 👧🏻, sunricyeon!!, black 🖤, ptsd from windows turning from black to bright blue, “pull a j” aka doing and leaving assignments till the very last minute 😁, “guys…..”, “yall…..”, a simp 🤓, attracted to red flags men (but not anymore 😚), FOODIE CHINGUS, malatang, “guys….can we just call for like 20 mins max…i promise it won’t take long” = a 6-7hours call, late night (or early mornings) video calls, SHE IS A BEAUTY AN ICON AND SHE IS THE MOMENT 😍

@ethereal-engene my long-lost best friend 🥹, JU HAKNYEON 🍊, anime!!, men in glasses 🔛🔝, fellow chinese friend ❤️, cny 🧧, lion dances 🦁, WOOZI (ESP IN LONG HAIR 😩😩😩), matching hakkie pottery pcs 🤍, wips brainstorming ✍️, another cutie lil 妹妹 🥺, arms….and pecs 🤓, editing 👩‍💻, convos abt our studies/work life 💗

@kimsohn kim sunwoo, pinterest, “maya….i had a dream abt sangyeon….”, “oh!”, anime!!, that smiling and then speechless meme, sangyeon drenching himself in water 😀, “so when are you gonna write this”, sunric sluts, tbosas, coriolanus snow, always talking abt being on writers block with one another but eventually gets things done (and sometimes its long af), being caring 🥺, food!!

@quaissants 1/2 of my gremlins 👹, sends me lip gloss sangyeon 24/7, my twinnie 🤞🏻, same birthday & mbti 💗, speaks in such a soft manner like hello 🥺, genshin impact!!, ragnvindr bros ❤️💙, childe 🤓, angsty angst ❤️‍🩹, constantly looking out for me 🥹, men 😃, “i have selective reading”

@sanaxo-o another 1/2 of my gremlins 👹, unhinged as a person, sabrina carpenter 💗, flirty af but then i dont return the favour 😄, sends me sangyeon content 24/7, a great listener and gives me comfort, always checking up on others, ✌🏻level-headed and ☝🏻dum-dum, “LET ME BETA YOUR FICS”, pinterest, “Als”

@stealanity my unnie 🥺💗, always looking out for everyone, the big sister of the net, amazing as a person (i admire you loads), moodboards 😍, aesthetics ✨, a field of flowers 🌹🪻🌸🌺, brave (never afraid to speak up!!), i miss you sm unnie always 🫶🏻, calls me a cutie 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

@cloverdaisies CLO MY LOVE 💚, great britian 🇬🇧, fish & chips, “you have no rights ally ive revoked them”, “you dont love me anymore 🥺” aka clo’s way of making me feel guilty that i couldn’t visit her when i was back in EU (IT WILL HAPPEN ONE DAY I SWEAR I WILL BE BACK 😤😤😤), writing fics for one another 💗, STRONG ASS WOMAN 💪 (who juggles between work and uni all on her own 🥹🫂), “there’s a rat in my apartment”, phone & video calls (which we havent done in a while and we should again!!)

@juyeonszn my fawnie my bubba 🥹, coffee ☕️, zeneration livestream 🙌🏻, crying tgt, unboxing albums ✨, pcs collection, puppies 🐶, anime!!, big sexc brain 🧠, sunric sluts, INSANE MAKEUP LOOKS 😩, delulu is the solulu ✨, education 📚, never-ending talks on dc (which we haven’t done in a while i miss you loads 🥺), my fellow dancer 💃, if cutie was a person its fawnie 💗

@itsbeeble my pookie 🫶🏻, kim sunwoo, another big sexc brain 🧠, taylor swift 💛, eras tour ✨, “ALLY GO TO SLEEP”, eric sohn, ateez & svt!!, memes 24/7, exposing each other’s asses 😄, biker sunwoo 😩, delulu is the solulu ✨, another coffee buddy ☕️, talks abt uni/work life, always bouncing off ideas with one another

#❣️ — love notes!#❄️ — asks!#mutuals! <3

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grumpybunny-edith · 3 months

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Gwen's Bunny HRT - Month 1 (Part 2)

I learned this trick a little while ago for smiling at the camera: just think about something that makes you laugh. I didn’t have to work very hard to find something - everything Rae had just said had left me smiling maybe too much. I turn on my camera, turn my head to show off my ever-so-slightly longer ear, and make it a point to let my teeth sit on my lip, even as my first impulse was to hide them.

Opening the chat, I saw the last thing sent — it was a selfie from Delilah, her cheeks and chin covered in long, grayish-black fur.

thebuildingisonfire: Decided not to shave for the last couple days. Feels good. 🔥

It looks good too. Combined with the changes to her face shape giving her more of a snout, she’s starting to look more like Rae and Ashley than Edith and I. If that’s even a rational comparison to begin with. I do my best to stop comparing myself to my friends (again) and start typing.

wen-kutesuli: Hey everyone! Rae reminded me today was my one month, so... Here’s a quick update! It looks like it got to my teeth first, which... Is what it is, but my ears started getting longer recently too! No fur or anything yet, but. Big things 🥳

Rae is quick to jump on things, responding again almost instantly.

raeraebun: YAAAAA THAT’S MY GIRLLLLLLLL you look so good!! The first half an inch of so many more :DDD

grumpybunny-edith: !!! That’s huge! Starting with teeth must be tough :( how’s the pain been

wen-kutesuli: It’s been... manageable? grumpybunny-edith: oof. Good luck lol pink-lightning: Edith, don’t. That’s wonderful news, Gwen 🩷

I can’t help but wonder what Edith meant by that. It hadn’t been easy for the last couple weeks — as it turns out, growing your teeth is at best super uncomfortable — but it had been bearable as long as I didn’t forget my painkillers. Is she just trying to scare me? Is it gonna get way worse? Or does she just have an embarrassingly low tolerance for pain?

pink-lightning: You look happy. pink-lightning: Have you ever sent a picture smiling before?

I scroll up to look at the picture again at Ashley’s statement. I’m a little surprised at how much I’m smiling; I hadn’t even noticed when I took it. I’m also surprised that she’d notice something as small as how often someone smiles in pictures. I make a mental note of that, feeling embarrassment creep up about it — is it not normal to feel a little bit weird about a smile? I do my best to hide my feelings.

wen-kutesuli: I guess not lol I didn’t notice! raeraebun: You NEED to do it more. you look SO CUTEE grumpybunny-edith: fr. depriving us of that shit should count as a crime tbh thebuildingisonfire: okay but like. Be gay do crime raeraebun: not this crimee raeraebun: we love following the law in this specific moment grumpybunny-edith: Yeah this crime is like. Stealing from a small business thebuildingisonfire: just on principle, omfg =_=

The chat stops for a few minutes. I’m too giddy to care much about it, pacing my room on my toes and going fast enough to feel the wind in my ears. Of course they’re happy for me, why wouldn’t they be? Their pride... kinda becomes my own. I keep jumping around, catching glimpses of myself in my mirror, and it makes me so happy. The light from outside shines through my ears like a tulle curtain, making them shine. I don’t even have to imagine I have a tail to feel this giddy about it all. I put on my favorite KKB album and hop around my carpeted floors, enjoying the simple joy of having a body becoming more like what it’s supposed to be.

I don’t notice the next message until several minutes later, the buzzing of my phone muted by the carpet. I prance back to it only intending to play a song over again.

thebuildingisonfire: dealing w any like, behavioral stuff? Or are we still waiting on that lol raeraebun: I didnt realize you were taking over scheduling the sleepover, del xD thebuildingisonfire: oh no definitely not that’s still your job lmaooo thebuildingisonfire: just curious I swear

I keep hopping around my room as I try to come up with an answer. I don’t feel anything like what the information outlined, and definitely nothing that would warrant one of those sleepovers they’re always talking about. My feet are a little bit sore from all the moving, but I still have more energy to get out, so I type and jog at the same time.

wen-kutesuli: I don’t think I’ve gotten any yet? grumpybunny-edith: Oh my god Delilah you can’t just ask someone how horny they are pink-lightning: Yeah. Obviously that’s Edith’s job.

I drop my phone. I don’t pick it up. I’ve stopped in my tracks. Of course I know what’s coming, but it’s hard to believe it’ll happen to me. Sure it’s exciting, but I haven’t exactly had all that many... you know. It’s just hard to think about as something real, let alone something happening so soon. And, just, logistically it all seems pretty inconvenient; “Missing work for sex so often you get fired for it” seems more Delilah’s speed than it does mine, and I’m not sure I want to find out whether or not that’s correct. I shift my feet in the carpet nervously, feeling the tiny fibers through my soles. I press up onto the balls of my feet, trying to adjust to the way my feet are going to move within the next year. When I move to join my phone on the floor I push my heels down first, sitting down like a rabbit is supposed to.

raeraebun: its not that unreasonable yall, “behavioral stuff” doesnt have to mean horny raeraebun: its just cool to know the drugs work and that youre happy w them gwen :)) pink-lightning: And if you’re not, you can always let us know. We don’t want anyone having to go through that kind of thing alone. grumpybunny-edith: That’s kinda the whole reason this chat exists, lol grumpybunny-edith: Also, that’s what she said.

I giggle for the amount of time it takes to understand what Edith meant, at which point I’m overrun with blush. I can barely fathom the idea of one of them actually wanting to... Well. “Help me” with that kind of thing. I’m well aware they do it with each other, I’ve just never been that type before? It’s like being in line for a rollercoaster you have no knowledge of beyond being able to hear the things people say once they’ve gotten off.

pink-lightning: Seriously. I know we all only just met you in the grand scheme of things, but we are here to help in whatever capacity you want. I’m trying to build the space I would’ve needed when I was in your shoes. If there’s anything you need to talk about, please let us know. Even if it feels kinda weird.

raeraebun: absolutely!! We’re here for ya bestie <333

Ashley is so sincere it almost makes me anxious. I walk across the room, heels sinking into the carpet, and pull the packet the doctor gave me out of my desk drawer. I sit on the floor with it.

“Descent into sexual depravity” “Unavoidable, frequent joint pain that will last for years”

“ near-constant sex drive which interferes with life at nearly every turn”

“Irreversible”

“Loss of self”

I throw the packet to the side, my lower back numb like something was trying to burrow out of it, thrashing viciously from side to side.

I open the chat again, staring at Ashley’s message with my phone in my hairless hands. My nails are short and fragile, not clicking against the screen as I type.

wen-kutesuli: I’m gonna be okay, right? grumpybunny-edith: You’re gonna be just fine 💙 pink-lightning: Absolutely. And whenever it’s not, let us know. thebuildingisonfire: we got you raeraebun: totally!!!

I look between my screen and the discarded packet. I feel wide awake in the sunset but crawl into bed anyway, finding comfort in the blankets over my head. I really, really consider asking for some company, but I’m not sure how much I want to be seen right now.

---

Prev - Next

#furry hrt #animal hrt #my writing #transgender #therian hrt #OCs #Gwen #Delilah #Rae #Edith #Ashley #The Bunny Burrow #slow tf #tf

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averagewriter-inthedark · 2 years

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Love Rises From The Ashes 🔥 | Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace Imagine

Takes place after the events of TGM

TGM Masterlist

Characters & Pairings: Lt. Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace x male rockstar!reader (romantic), Lt. Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x reader (past romance), dagger squad x reader (platonic)

Content Warnings: fluff, profanity, light angst, mentioned of implied suggestive content| Male!reader (he/him) | wc: 7.1k

Premise: High school sweethearts don’t always get a second chance at love. Natasha Trace and Y/n L/n surely didn’t think they would. With Natasha becoming one of the best fighter pilots the Navy has ever produced and Y/n sealing his name as rock music’s resident bad boy, the two couldn’t be on opposite sides of the spectrum. But fate seems to work in mysterious ways.

requested 📨 yes/no (rules for requests)

Note: to the anon who requested this I hope you enjoyed it! So sorry it took awhile, I had to deal with dropping a class and things came up so I hope I delivered with everything you imagined. Thank you so much for your patience ! I had so much fun writing this and loved every second! ♥️

Songs headcanon for rockstar!reader: “Giving Up the Gun” by Vampire Weekend, “Where I Come From,” by Passion Pit, “The Antidote,” by St. Vincent, “No Control,” & “Girl Almighty” by One Direction, “These Streets,” by Bastille, “Beggin’” By Måneskin.

February 2023

“Hello I’m Ryan Secrest and we are live from the red carpet at Crypto.com Arena at the 65th Annual Grammy Awards! It’s the biggest night in music with all the stars here tonight—Harry Styles, Taylor Swift, Lizzo, Bad Bunny and Beyonce have been spotted. Hip-Hop celebrates 50 years with a stellar lineup in tonight’s tribute as well as honors to music legends Smokey Robinson and Berry Gordy. Everyone’s buzzing about the upcoming performance—Bad Bunny is rumored to be opening the show and rock n roll bad boy Y/n L/n will be sharing the stage with icons The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Stay tuned or tap into our livestream happening on YouTube as we greet music's biggest stars as they walk the red carpet.”

Fixing the collar of his neon green Versace suit, Y/n smiles when he feels Natasha take his hand as the limo approaches the entrance of the carpet. Dressed in a stunning black gown with neon green poking through the sides and the iconic Versace paperclips attaching them together, Nat was a goddess. Her makeup was similar to his, light with black eyeliner to accentuate her eyes with neon green graphic detailing to make it pop. Only Nat’s was clean and sharp whereas Y/n’s was smudged. A glossy nude painted her lips.

“How are you feeling?” She asked softly, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb. “Nervous?” It didn’t surprise him that Nat could tell what he was feeling. They’d known each other for so long it was easy to pick up on cues from one another.

“You would think I’d be used to this by now,” Y/n chuckled, flipping his hand so his palm encased hers. “After so many years….but still the carpet part has me sweating.” Briefly thinking back to one of his first red carpets, Y/n internally cringed as the image of him not knowing what the hell to do and talking to so many reporters in a short amount of time. Nowadays he’s had no filter and will say whatever shit comes to mind. The media loves it obviously…except when it’s directed at them.

For the rockstar, he only liked showing up to award shows for the show itself. He looked forward to sitting in the chairs with fellow musicians, watching performances, and the thrill of excitement when he won whatever he was nominated for.

Personally he could do without the red carpet. But unfortunately it came with the event. It was the fucking Grammy’s after all.

Nat patted his hand, pulling him from the memory, “You’re a pro at this, babe. Patty and I will be there every step.” Patty was his publicist, who really made it easier for him on carpets by telling the interviewer to keep it fast and quick. “And if you feel overwhelmed or want to get out of there quickly just squeeze my hand and we’ll book it.” The offer makes Y/n laugh, kissing Nat’s hand as he brings it to his lips.

“What would I do without you, Natasha Trace?”

“I like to not think about that,” she teases with a smirk, “But you’d probably try to find a backdoor to sneak into the stadium.”

“Yeah…I definitely would.”

As the limo came to a stop, Y/n mentally prepared himself to face the dozens of cameras, screaming fans, and vulture reporters. He wondered where the guys were going to be seated. Knowing Rooster they probably got the floor beside the stage reserved for fans or front rows of the stands on the side. Either way, he was gonna search them out once they got inside.

Cheers met Y/n’s ears, ringing as he gave a brief wave when stepping out of the vehicle. Turning he held out his hand to assist Natasha, her diamond engagement ring sparkling under the daylight. The cheers seemed to increase at the sight of her, the woman blushing while Y/n smoothed out the fabric of her dress. With a kiss to her cheek, he took her hand and led her onto the carpet, both waving to the many supporters calling out to them.

“Y/n, I love you!!!”

“You look gorgeous, Natasha!! You guys are so hot!!”

“Good luck tonight—it’s your year!!”

Then you had the photographers shouting over them.

“Y/n, Natasha, over here!!”

“Can we get a glimpse of that ring, Natasha?”

“When’s the wedding—are you two having it in San Diego or New York?”

“Over here, Y/n, over here!”

“Y/n, are you excited to perform with the Red Hot Chili Peppers tonight?”

“Yes I am,” he replied over the noise, making the guy give a smile of victory he got acknowledged. “It’s gonna be epic, I can tell you that.”

Soon it came time for the interviews. And God was there a lot. E! Network, Access Hollywood, MTV, ABC, EXTRA, Hollywood Reporter, Entertainment Tonight, & The Insider….and those were just the major ones. Smaller networks were present as well, but thankfully Y/n’s publicist only scheduled him for the big ones.

“Y/n, Natasha, lovely to see you two here tonight,” the lady from Entertainment Tonight greeted them with a smile, “you two look stunning—who are you wearing?”

“These are custom pieces from Donatella Versace herself,” smoothing a hand down his chest, Y/n gave Natasha a twirl to show off her gown. “It’s the Grammy’s so you know we had to roll in nothing but the best.”

“As you should—we love to see it. Let me be the one of many congratulations on your recent engagement,” the couple grinned, thanking her while the camera panned to Nat’s ring. “You two have been together for four years, correct?”

“Going on four this year. But if you count when we were teenagers then about seven,” Winking, Y/n sees Nat blush once more, the reporter lovin the juicy details.

“That’s right, you two were high school sweethearts. How was it when you guys rekindled, did it feel like it was back then or sorta fresh?”

Natasha answered this time, “A mix of both really. We had been good friends as kids that blossomed into young love before fate took us separate ways. When we reunited it was almost like meeting a different person while also feeling the sense of familiarity within them. If that makes sense,” she laughs at the end.

“I agree, but then again I know not to disagree with this one,” Y/n teases, tickling Nat’s side to make her giggle. The reporter and cameras were eating it up. Y/n brings his fiancée closer to him, “We gotta thank our buddy, aka my old flame turned bestie, Rooster, who brought us back together. That’s not his actual name by the way,” the rockstar laughs at the perplexed expression of the reporter, “He is not named after a male chicken.”

“Old flame?” She hums curiously, “by that do you mean your ex?”

Y/n feels his publicist tap him on the shoulder, signaling it was time to go to the next interviewer. Squeezing Nat’s hand, he smirks to the camera, “He prefers to be called, ‘long-term booty call,’.” With that he spun on his heel to escort Nat away, chuckling at the lady’s jaw dropping at the answer. Beside him, Nat playfully tsks, “Bradshaw’s never gonna forget that.”

“Oh he loves it.”

If you asked the 36 year old rockstar that his once fling with a hot asipiring Naval aviator would lead him to his teenage love, Y/n would’ve told you, “This ain’t a fucking romance story. But I love the optimism.”

Traveling back in time while he goes through the many reporters and photographers, Y/n could still picture the once young 15-year old smitten with the girl next door who was his best friend. What was supposed to be a pact between the two of each other’s first kiss, turned into something more than was once a fantasy to them. Both harboring crushes without saying anything until the feelings after the kiss became too much and they were spilling the confessions at the same time.

“I like you—.”

“Wait—what?”

“You serious right now?” Cue a passionate kiss seconds later. The two over the moon in what could only be described as a teenage dream happening before their eyes. Endless nights of sneaking out without their parents knowing to cuddle and skateboard down the quiet streets, exchanging kisses while the stars danced above them. Stares from their peers in school were envious on both ends. Girls jealous that Nat was with the resident bad boy they all desired to have while guys couldn’t believe Y/n pulled the girl of their dreams.

They were complete opposites.

Y/n with his gages, ripped 80s band t-shirts and chains with highlights in his hair. Kids would call him names because he liked makeup, painted his nails and often wore large shirts as dresses with heeled boots. He wasn’t afraid to call people out on their bullshit even if they were figures of authority and was open about loving people regardless of what rested between their legs. While he was smart he didn’t care much for school but still did what he had to do though it was half ass.

Then you had Natasha, captain of the color guard and member of the JROTC drill team. Every year she was elected the president or VP of the class’s student council, claiming student body president of her senior class. Popular wasn’t the right term for her. Nat was well known throughout the school by name but she wasn’t someone who surrounded herself with a lot of friends. Not to mention she wasn’t the typical stuck up bitch people associated with popularity. Kind and nurtured, Nat was the type to welcome new students and offer tutoring to those in need. She was the top student in all her classes, rumored to be the Valedictorian when she graduated and crowned homecoming Queen.

Two sides of a coin, while Natasha was the one everyone saw making it big in the world, people believed Y/n would be a lost cause in the world. His grades were the bare minimum, test scores lacking when it came to college applications and showed no interest in pursuing higher education. Really the only thing he enjoyed was music class and showed talent in English when they were in poetry lessons. His teacher once said, “These are like songs, Y/n. I’m amazed with how lyrically beautiful they are,” she reads over the lines before handing the paper back to him, “Have you ever thought of going to music school?”

“I would if my family could afford it and if it was a guarantee my work would make it big. But it’s not so why waste my time and money.” Was always his answer.

His girlfriend on the other hand had every teacher offering to write letters of recommendation. Her ACT and SAT scores were exceeding, qualifying for Ivy League schools like Harvard and Princeton. Any university Nat applied to was met with an acceptance letter, the one bringing her most joy from the Naval Academy.

It was already common knowledge to Y/n that Nat wanted to be a pilot. Ever since they were kids she was talking about planes and flying. She was one of those kids who loved going to the airport when her family went on vacation that required them flying. One time she even asked to see the cockpit and was captivated by all the controls the pilots were telling her about. Then the local air show took place at the nearby naval base, securing the dream for Natasha she was determined to achieve.

So when the summer after graduation ended, both knew what was coming.

“We’ve got each other on MySpace,” her voice is soft, keeping her eyes on him while her family finished packing up the car with her belongings. “We can write letters and send emails. Maybe even plan a visit some time?”

“Yeah,” Y/n agrees, matching her tone. Hands in his pockets, he tries not to show how heartbroken he is. It was a mutual breakup so it shouldn’t hurt too much, but when it’s your first love you’re saying goodbye to the impact is lasting. “Even if we fall off, Nat, just know I’m always rooting for you. You were made for something more than this shitty place.”

“So are you,” she counters. “You act like you have nothing going for you now that school is over, but Y/n you have so much talent. You should really try to find a band or intern at some label—no matter how small. Maybe someone will see your work. I’m rooting for you too, you know?”

“I know, Natty. I’ll think about it. You just focus on becoming the best damn pilot the Navy has ever seen. We’ll see what fate has planned for me.”

Off to the Academy, Nat shed tears as the image of her now ex-boyfriend got smaller and smaller in the rear view mirror. She could only hope they would stay in contact, or cross paths in the future, but for now she had a mission to do.

Out of school and with little to his name, Y/n packed up everything he owned and moved to New York City. There he found an ad for a roommate with a bunch of guys who attended Pratt Institute, which just so happened to be above a music store. Quickly he secured a job at the shop and worked as many days as he could to save up for equipment to start making his own music.

Unfortunately he and Natasha did fall off like he expected. It pained him to admit he wasn’t surprised, but when the two of them were on completely opposite sides of the spectrum and lives going separate paths, it was bound to happen. All he hoped was for her to be having a great time at the Academy. That she would have all her dreams come true. From the sidelines he was her cheerleader.

After a couple years of working at the store, however, the shop owners Y/n had become close to eventually allowed him to borrow some instruments they had that were not for sale—so long as he did not fuck them up. Originally Y/n planned to make mock music videos for his songs and upload them to the buzzing video sharing website YouTube.

What he didn’t plan for was his boss contacting a buddy of his who happened to work at Def Jam Records after Y/n showed him his demo for ‘Giving Up The Gun.’

“Y/n, come here real quick,” Alan called him over from behind the register, the 21-year-old noticing he was with a man in a suit. The man appeared to be the same age as Alan, shaking Y/n’s hand when he introduced himself, “The name's Dale Kingston. You must be Y/n, Alan has told me a lot about you.”

“Hello, Sir,” he politely replies, glancing over to Alan with a raised brow. “Forgive me, but he’s never mentioned me to you.” The two men lightly laugh.

“Nah I wouldn’t put it past him too. Old man likes to keep everything about him mysterious.”

“I don’t who you’re calling old,” Alan quips back playfully, “Anyway, Y/n. Dale and I go way back—we were roommates in college actually. And while I made a career of sharing the art of music by opening my businesses, Dale ended up making a career of looking for the next best talent in the industry. He’s an exec at Def Jam Records,” Y/n felt his bulge open, flickering to Dale who nodded as Alan’s lips rose to a smirk. “And I sent him what you showed me. Hope you don’t mind, but Dale would like to talk to you if you’re alright with it.”

In just one hour of conversing, Dale left Y/n with his business card and a meeting with his team at their headquarters in Manhattan that weekend. Bursting through the door of his apartment, Y/n’s roommates flinched at the sudden sound, “Get up motherfuckers we’re going out tonight!!!” At the popular gay bar just up the street from where they lived, Y/n and his roommates celebrated with drinks and made out with strangers while dancing to Rihanna and Lady Gaga blasting through the speakers.

“Yo, Y/n/n, that hottie in the Hawaiian shirt is totally eye fucking you right now.”

“Well hot damn,” he hummed in delight, making eye contact with said hottie in a Hawaiian shirt. ‘Oh I’m going home with him tonight.’

The hottie in the Hawaiian shirt was named Bradley Bradshaw. A total stud, he rocked the 80s pornstache like no other and a body Y/n wanted to lick sugar off of. He was a native of Virginia who was visiting New York with some of his friends to celebrate his impending entrance to the Naval Academy.

Y/n found this as they basked in the afterglow of their hot session following the bar, “Wait, you’re going to the Naval academy? This fall?”

“Yup,” Bradley proudly states, “It sucks though cause I’ll be the oldest in my class. I’m about to be twenty-two and I’ll be surrounded by eighteen and nineteen year olds.”

“Why is that?” At Bradley’s changed expression, Y/n quickly takes the question back. “Nevermind, don’t tell me if you don’t want to. Shit, I just made it awkward.”

“No-no-no,” Bradley chuckles, placing his beer down on the nightstand. “It’s okay—just I am still bitter about it as you can tell. My uh…the guy who was like a father to me after my dad died pulled my application when I initially sent it in high school.” The confession has Y/n frown, feeling the wave of sadness and resentment radiate off of Bradley.

“That fucking wasn’t right. Did he ever tell you why?”

“No. He wouldn’t when I confronted him,” he rubs his jaw, “I haven’t spoken to him since.”

Switching things up so as to not further upset Bradley, Y/n asks, “What are you going for?” This brings light to the man, a smile coating his face.

“Aeronautical engineering.”

Something in Y/n’s stomach flipped, “Oh wow…are you wanting to be a pilot?” Surprise now takes over, Bradley raising a brow as asks how he knew. Y/n lights a blunt, taking a deep inhale to prepare him for explaining. He would’ve offered Bradley it but now knowing he was going to a military academy it was best not to.

“My ex girlfriend is there for the same. In fact…she should be graduating next spring,” he sighs out the smoke, feeling the ease fill his veins as memories of Natasha play in his mind. “Being a pilot was all she ever dreamed of. It’s why she worked so hard in school to meet the requirements for the program. Valedictorian, Cadet Colonel of the JROTC unit—we had Air Force not Navy though,” he specified at Bradley’s tilt of the head of the ranks. “We broke up just before she moved into the dorms. It was mutual, no hard feelings at all. She was going places and at the time I wasn’t.”

“And now you’re going places?” Bradley wondered aloud. Lips lifting in a smirk, Y/n simply replied, “Let’s sure fucking hope so.”

The rest of the night was filled with small talk and discussions about each other’s hopeful future. Y/n filled Bradley in on his dreams of music and how he was meeting with execs from Def Jam. Bradley was leaving back to Virginia soon but they promised to meet up again and keep in touch. They continued to hook up a few more times after that night and even went on a few dates, but after a couple months they realized they were better off as friends. Just like with Natasha, Y/n didn’t want to tie Bradley down or expect something serious when he was just starting his Naval career.

Plus, his own dreams were just getting started.

“That was ‘Giving Up The Gun,’ by an upcoming artist from Def Jam Records, Y/n L/n. The twenty-one year old from Scottsdale, Arizona seems to be giving a new voice to rock music, throwing in elements of pop and techno that we’ve gotten lucky to hear from his newly released EP. Critics and fans have already started labeling him the next David Bowie due to his colorful hair and outfits while not being afraid to wear glitter eyeshadow and lipstick. For those of us in the studio, we’re looking forward to what Y/n has to offer the music world.”

An EP became an album. One that hit the top of the charts in its first few weeks and established Y/n as the next rock n roll bad boy. Winning Best New Artist at the VMAs and AMAs, the early 2010s had Y/n’s name written all over it. Appearances on Good Morning America and the Ellen Degeneres Show. New York became his base of operation and soon Y/n embraced the high life he was getting from making it big. Rooster and him met up often to celebrate each milestone, the two growing closer as the years went on.

The next big break came in 2011 when Y/n was offered features on the Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2 soundtracks. ‘Where I Come From’ & ‘The Antidote’ were huge successes. He couldn’t believe he was walking the red carpet of a Hollywood premier when the film was released. And Lord was Robert Pattinson a sight for sore eyes. Kristen too. The soundtrack went on to receive a Grammy nomination with Y/n winning at the Teen Choice Awards the next summer. A world tour shortly after, Y/n fell in love with the road and meeting fans every night from across the globe.

And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the fan casts people made of him. Anytime it was announced a book was getting an adaptation, he was always what people pictured as the bad boy/sexy villain.

But acting wasn’t something Y/n was interested in. Personally he felt like he couldn’t act for shit and wouldn’t handle 12 hour work days or having to move every few months for a new project. New York was his home, with L.A being his second, and music was his life.

By 2016 Y/n had really made a name of himself in the music world. He was featured on more film soundtracks like Fast & The Furious 7 and Deadpool. Rock music got a new wave of fans. Y/n even changed it up a bit by collaborating with pop artists and rappers. ‘These Streets’ was well received by critics and fans, earning Y/n his third Grammy nomination that he had yet to win.

“You’re gonna get this year, Y/n/n,” Rooster assured him, passing a beer as they sat on the lounge chairs overlooking the beaches of Virginia. “If you don’t then they’re fucking out of their mind. Your hits this year were amazing—top of the charts and platinum in weeks! I’ll boycott them next year if they don’t give it to you.”

Unfortunately Rooster would have to make due with that promise for a few years.

Y/n didn’t want to say he cared about winning a Grammy. But truth be told he did wish he could say that of the nearly seven nominations he had received by 2019, he got a win. Whether it was Record of The Year or Album of The Year, it seemed the golden trophy was out of his reach. Whenever it was brought up in interviews he would brush it off saying, “I’m honored to have been recognized just from my nominations, but I don’t believe it should dictate how I am as an artist.”

One day he hoped to be standing on the stage, holding the award and thanking his loved ones and team who were just as much of winners as he was. But only time would tell.

Speaking of time, it seemed to work in mysterious ways.

A phone call from Rooster in December of 2019 had Y/n clad in a stunning suit appropriate for a Military ball and on his way to meet some of the pilots colleagues. It was to be a celebratory event to commemorate the group of Top Gun alumni in their successful mission stopping a uranium enrichment plant from becoming operational. Y/n had been very worried when Bradley informed him of the assignment. He was overseas finishing up his tour so one could imagine the anxiety he felt at the possibility his best friend could die.

Bradley picked Y/n up from his hotel in San Diego, the two having a quick pregame before arriving at the venue to the shell-shocked faces of the officers. Mickey, who was introduced as Fanboy, could barely make out words. Javy and Jake were looking at each other with expressions that read, “what the actual fuck?”, while Payback took a moment to be like ‘woah’ and proceed to act like Y/n was just a regular person.

“So how do you two know each other?” Jake was the first to ask what everyone was thinking. It wasn’t everyday one learns their rival-turned-friend was casually best friends with one of the best modern rock stars of their generation. Then he choked on his beer when Y/n simply replied, “We used to hook up.”

The questions rolled off from there.

“Wait, you two were together?”

“And you stayed friends?”

“Hold the phone, I need some details.”

After taking time to answer the questions, Rooster takes the moment to ask, “Where’s Phoenix and Bob?” This has Y/n raise his brow, not knowing who either were. Rooster had only briefly mentioned his colleagues to him, but never really explained who they were or how they met. He liked to keep his work life separate from his personal life.

Payback answered, “they’re on the way. I think Bob mentioned his Dress Blues were lost in the cleaners so he had to scramble to get a tux.”

“Damn. Well let’s get some drinks ready for when they get here.”

To say Y/n’s jaw about hit the floor when his eyes landed on Lt. Natasha “Phoenix” Trace was an understatement. In fact he had to rub his eyes just to make sure it was really her he was seeing. The same could be said for Natasha, who’s own eyes were bulging from her skull.

“Nat?”

“Y/n/n?’

Now everyone was looking between the two. “You two know each other too?”

Y/n couldn’t help but laugh, “Well if this isn’t a small world, then I don’t know what is.” A sudden feeling he couldn’t describe washed over him. He turns to Rooster to whisper under his breath, “You remember my high school girlfriend I once told you about?” Now it’s the pilot whose eyes are wide.

“Nat’s your high school sweetheart?” The exclamation could pretty much be heard through the entire venue, the daggers all showing faces of shock.

“Yup,” Y/n pops the ‘p’, adjusting the collar of his shirt. “She sure is.” Facing Nat, he bites his lip and says, “Uh, how have you been, Nat? It’s been like….I wanna say ten…fifteen years?”

“Just about, yeah,” Nat blushes, unsure how to respond. But how does one respond when they’re faced with their high school sweetheart who was a best selling rockstar? “I’ve been good. I would ask the same, but I’ve been following your career since you debuted.”

“You have?” Y/n was surprised by this. “Wow, um thank you. I see you were just as successful in your endeavors.” It comes to his mind that Natasha was the person Bradley always referred to as Phoenix in his stories. “Bradley’s told me a lot about you…but I never thought to ask what the name of ‘Phoenix’ was. Possibly I would've reunited with you sooner if I did.”

Nat takes the drink Y/n hands to her with a thanks, “You know when he mentioned he was good friends with someone named Y/n that he used to be involved with, I just assumed it was someone who shared a name with you. I didn’t think to ask further.”

“Eh, I don't blame you. I felt the instant awkwardness at the realization you and him share an ex.” Gesturing for the two to sit at a table away from the others, Y/n shared a look with Bradley and saw him biting back a laugh at his words. Nat on the other hand appeared a little flustered.

“How long were you together?” She cringed at how awful the question sounded. Why the fuck did she need to know? Her and Y/n had been broken up for years. It’s not like they were going to just pick things back up where they left off.

“Oh only a couple months. We realized we were better off as friends—especially since he was going off to the Academy and I had just been signed. To be honest,” Y/n paused to sip his beer, “it was mostly just the physical attraction we needed to get out of the way. It was great while it lasted but it never felt like it could become something more.” He made sure to not add the tiny fact he still had feelings for Natasha at the time.

Well maybe he still did. Lord knows being next to her was giving him those schoolboy feelings again.

The two talked almost the entire night. And then when the ball was done and the team migrated to The Hard Deck, they continued to stay close to each other. Nat told Y/n all about her years at the Academy and making it to fight school. Becoming one of the few female aviators and an alumni of the prestigious Fighter Weapons School before ending with the details about the mission she did with Rooster.

“It was the most intense thing I had ever been a part of,” she explained. “I’ve seen some crazy shit in all the years I’ve been flying. But this mission was beyond my limit—I-I still can’t believe we managed to pull it off.”

“I’m really proud of you, Nat,” Y/n’s smile was genuine, filled with sincerity. “Rooster told me about what he could, and hearing your side just makes me so grateful you guys came home.”

Y/n gave Nat all the juicy details of his high life in the music industry. How his boss was friends with an executive from Def Jam and was basically the reason he got discovered. He couldn’t help but laugh when Nat admitted she bought his albums and would watch the award shows he attended.

“I’m just so happy for you!” She defended with a playful shove. “After I heard you made it big of course I was going to support you anyway I could. You were also featured in Twilight and I happened to be obsessed with it when it came out so I was very excited to see you were featured on the soundtrack. Call me biased but ‘The Antidote’ and ‘Where I Come From’ are my favorites you’ve ever released.”

By the end of the night…or nearly morning because the time was pushing 4 am, Y/n and Nat parted ways with the promise of meeting up for coffee that weekend.

Neither went into things expecting anything to happen. As adults they simply wanted to see how things played out and if being friends could be possible. They didn’t end on bad terms which was good in itself. So why not try to make a friendship?

Well when a global pandemic hits when you and your ex are hanging out that results in you two having to go through quarantine together….close proximity can result in things neither planned for.

It first started out with simple compliments and the two watching movies together. Then it progressed to acts of service where Y/n would bring Natasha lunch or coffee when she was remotely working from home. For weeks this happened with both battling feelings beginning to resurface. Natasha tried to brush it off like a teenage crush. That she was being a hopeless romantic at the thought she and Y/n could possibly date again.

Would it be different now that they were adults? It’s not like they were kids again. Both were in successful careers that they worked hard for. Both were financially stable and would live comfortably when they retire in thirty or so years. Nat was a Lieutenant, and likely had a promotion lined up within the next year. And Y/n was working on new music so there was nothing he was too worried about.

After almost three months of dancing around feelings, one night the two were having dinner when the topic was brought up.

“Nat,” Y/n starts with a sigh. “I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this.” Her face falls to a frown, looking away as her heart picks up pace.

“Put up with what exactly?”

“Pretending like I don’t want to hold you in my arms. Like I don’t want to kiss you on the forehead before you fall asleep or tell you how you’re the most important person in my life. Since I was fifteen I’ve loved you and the reason no relationship I’ve had after has worked is because I’m so hung up on you.”

When he contemplates if he made the mistake confessing, he’s suddenly around the kitchen island to bring Nat into a searing kiss when she says, “What if I told you, you don’t have to pretend anymore?”

Their love felt natural. They already had a taste of it as teenagers. Now as adults it was busting like a rocket ship. That deep, immense feeling of love one can’t even begin to describe. Like the person was their air and kept them to the Earth.

Bradley was over the moon when they told. Really he was the first to find out the second they decided to make it official. He was Y/n’s best friend after all and Nat was the closest he had to a sister. Although he and the rockstar had history, Rooster would never let it be an issue and supported the two wholeheartedly. “It’s about damn time!” He yelled over the FaceTime call. “I’ve been waiting for this to happen since the night of the ball!”

It didn’t take long for the world to find out the resident bad boy of rock music was off the market. Hearts broke but many were happy for Y/n. Lots of fans actually thought it was the most adorable thing that he was back with his high school sweetheart after fifteen years of being apart. Natasha became well loved among his supporters and although she didn’t have much of a social media presence, she was always met with positivity. Anytime there was a rude ‘fan’ she would just block them without giving any attention.

“I’m a fucking pilot,” she rolled her eyes at the comment of how she was only with Y/n for money and his status. “They act like I didn’t make something for myself or have a career.”

“You tell ‘em, babe,” Y/n praises from the side, causing Nat to playfully roll her eyes.

2021 and 2022 were met with several milestones. Natasha was promoted to Lieutenant Commander and Y/n released his fifth studio album. Planning to go on tour in the summer of 2022, the couple went on a much needed vacation to celebrate their two year anniversary and relax after constant nonstop work in their lives.

“I could get used to this,” the pilot hummed in content, feeling the warmth of the sun's rays on her skin. The gentle sound of the ocean waves was soothing to her ears. Beside her Y/n laid on his stomach with a book in his hands while music played on the speaker. “Maybe I’ll just stay here while you go off to see the world.”

He snorted, “I’ll be jealous if you do.” Patting her thigh, he closed the book and threw it to the side. Cracking open two bottles of beer, he handed one to Nat, clicking the glass with her, “Happy anniversary, baby.”

“Happy anniversary to you, mister. Thank you for this.”

“Anything for my baby.”

The tour was a success and Natasha even managed to fly out for a few shows. Fans loved it when she did because she’d stand in the crowd to sing and dance with supporters rather than be in the VIP section or just off the stage. It was almost as though Natasha was the star of the concert rather than Y/n. Every show she attended the camera would be put on her at some point so the rockstar could dedicate his song, ‘Girl Almighty’ to her. He had written it just shortly after the two got back together, the woman instantly tearing up after she first heard the final product.

Fans would go crazy during the set, mostly because Y/n would come to where Natasha was at and get on his knees to sing the line, “I’d get down, I’d get down, I’d get down on my knees for you.” Then he’d hold a cup of water in the air, the crowd doing the same with their own drinks, for, “Let’s have another toast for the girl almighty. Let’s pray we stay young, stay made of lightning.”

Oh and let’s not forget about ‘No Control’…..a fan favorite that had Natasha blushing mad red like a tomato when Y/n wrote it. “I cannot believe you wrote that!”

“You love it, don’t lie.”

She really did though. It was a catchy beat and of course it made her heart skip that Y/n’s work was influenced by her and their relationship. It only made her love him more.

“Stained coffee cup. Just a fingertip of lipstick’s not enough. Sweet (ooh), where you lay (ooh). Still a trace of innocence on the pillow case.”

The audience of his shows would be in a frenzy. Nott a single person was not on their feet belting out the lyrics to the chorus. And Natasha was at the center with the most energy.

“Waking up. Beside you, I’m a loaded gun. I can’t contain this anymore. I’m all yours, I’ve got no control. No control! Powerless, and I don’t care, It’s obvious. I just can’t get enough of you. The pedal’s down, my eyes are closed. No control!”

Birthdays and holidays passed and before they knew it they were ringing in 2023. It wasn’t just a celebration of the new year and the release of Y/n’s single ‘Beggin’’, but also what the future would hold for him and Natasha after the rockstar got down on one knee and presented the love of his life with a gorgeous ring, “Baby, you know I’m not one to believe in superstition where fate works in mysterious ways. But when I look at how life took us apart only to bring us together, I can’t help but wonder if it truly exists. Fans like to call us ‘twin flames’ and honestly I think they’re on to something. Natasha, you’re my best friend. My one true love. The person I was meant to be with. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

They announced their engagement just before the Grammy awards. All over the news the story was being covered, fans buzzing with excitement for the couple.

@ badboy_Y/n: My favorites are engaged!!! Natasha’s ring is so beautiful omg I can’t wait to see the wedding!

@ onmykneesforyou: Natasha and Y/n are the reason I believe in love honestly—I’ll ascend to heaven if they ever break up.

@ SelenaGomez✔️: congratulations to my lovely friends @badboyY/n and @IAmPhoenix on their engagement! So so happy for you two!

@ MTV✔️: Stop my parents are getting married. I am screaming right now!

The night of the Grammy’s Y/n was filled with nerves. He usually was when it came to award shows, however this was different because he was up for Record of The Year, Song of The Year, and Album of the Year with a performance with the iconic Red Hot Chili Peppers. Thankfully Natasha was there to help ease it. She hadn’t attended many since their relationship started due to her job, but the ones she did made it a hell of a lot easier for the rockstar. Getting the red carpet and interviews out of the way, the two made their way inside. There they greeted several of Y/n’s friends and took pictures with celebs they admired. Nat had to hold back fangirling a bit when Ariana Grande and The Weekend approached.

“You look amazing!” Ariana gushed, taking in the stunning outfit Nat wore. “It’s so nice to finally meet you—I love your weekly newsletter you do about all the books you’ve read and places you’ve visited. I think it’s so cool what you do.”

Nat struggled to get words out. Here was THE Ariana Grande, world renowned popstar complimenting her and saying what she did was cool.

They took pictures with Ariana hoping to catch her at the after party before it was time for everyone to take their seats. The whole time Y/n held Nat’s hand or placed his on her thigh, only letting go when it was time to clap. Physical touch was his love language and it never failed to make Natasha feel loved and appreciated.

When it came time for Y/n to perform Beggin’ with the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Natasha was on her feet and dancing like she was the only one in the room. Hell, even Taylor Swift, Lizzo, and Harry Styles were dancing with her. “That’s my man!!” She yelled over the cheers when Y/n finished, blowing a kiss when they made eye contact. “I love you!!”

About two hours into the show, it finally came time for the big three.

Y/n cheered when Lizzo won Record of the Year….and about shit his pants when his name was called for Song of The Year.

“Wait, what?” He literally said as Nat jumped up from her seat with a scream, pulling him up to embrace. “Did—did he just say—.”

“You baby! You!”

Artists around him were on their feet, Harry Styles whistling against the uproar of the crows. His heart was racing and tears threatened to fall. It felt like a haze for the rockstar, a slight tremor in his hands as he took the award being handed to him. Then when he faced the crowd he was met with a standing ovation. Fucking Beyoncé was applauding with a grin. Y/n was absolutely speechless at the realization.

For the first time in nine nominations, he finally had a Grammy.

“Holy shit,” were his immediate words. “Wow.” People were still screaming so Y/n took the time to connect eyes with Natasha. She was in visible joy, wiping away a stray tear before clasping her hands together in front of her mouth.

“I don’t even know what to say. I’ve been dreaming about this moment for years it seems like—a-and I didn’t really think it was possible,” he paused briefly to glance at the trophy. “First I want to thank the Recording Academy for this honor. To everyone at Def Jam Records and those who’ve been with me since the start of my career—I can’t thank you enough. Shoutout to you Alan if you’re watching. You are the reason I’m standing on this stage—thank you for believing in me and to Dale for giving me the opportunity to share my music with the world. To my family back home and my friends, your support through the years is what’s kept me going.” Y/n smiled, thinking about Rooster and the guys, wishing he could see their reaction.

“And lastly, to the woman who’s my partner in crime. My muse. My best friend since ten years old and the love of my life. Natasha,” he connects eyes with her teary face, noticing how a cameraman had moved closer to her. “I love you so much. Thank you for your love and support. For believing in me and being my shoulder to cry on when the days get tough. You are everything a man could ask for and I’m so blessed to have the honor of being your fiancé. I can’t wait to marry you and see where life takes us. This award is for you, baby.”

Blowing a kiss to Nat, who blows one back, Y/n quickly ends with, “Thank you to everyone here tonight and at home who’s listened to my music and played ‘Beggin’’. Much love to you all—thank you thank you!” He finished just in time when the band started to play to signal his time was up. Y/n was met with open arms from Natasha when he returned to his seat, the rockstar lifting her in the air causing her to burst into giggles.

“Congratulations, baby,” she kissed him on the lips, careful not to ruin his lipstick. “I’m so proud of you—you deserve everything, Y/n.”

“Thank you, my love,” he kisses her again, then gives a wink. “Can’t wait for us to celebrate tonight.” He smirks at the blush that takes over her face.

Together they cheered for Harry after he won Album of the Year and after one last performance the show came to an end. Y/n, Harry, and Lizzo all posed for pictures and Y/n was hauled away for more interviews post ceremony. Finally they were set free to the after party, where the two basically stole the spotlight.

Dancing to the previous year’s hits and songs of the nominees, Natasha and Y/n partied like they were young and wild and free. They did shots with Adele, danced with Ariana Grande, sang with Lil Nas X. It was the time of their lives.

When it all ended Y/n escorted Nat to their ride, her right hand in his left while his right carried her heels, the two giggling like children as they ran down the hallway. Before they exited the venue Y/n brought Nat into a passionate kiss, dipping her slightly causing her to laugh. “I love you, Natasha. So much, you know?” His tone was filled with so much love it nearly took her breath away.

“I love you too, Y/n.”

Yeah fate was something not everyone could agree with. But one thing was for sure when it came to Y/n and Natasha. Like the Phoenix, their love rose from the ashes.

……………..

TGM Tag List: @avaleineandafryingpan @caitsymichelle13 @poppyalice2001 @cutelittlepotatofry @luckyladycreator2 @americaarse @elenavampire21 @back-tooo-black

#Spotify #natasha trace x reader #natasha trace imagine #natasha trace x y/n #natasha trace #lt natasha phoenix trace #phoenix imagine #phoenix x reader #phoenix x you #natasha phoenix trace #Natasha trace x male!reader #male!reader #rockstar!reader #top gun maverick fanfiction #top gun maverick imagine #top gun Maverick #monica barbaro

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g0ttal0ve101 · 11 months

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TWIRLS MY HAIR GAYLY :3

1, 3, 4, and 22 for Lulu, Evelyn, and Sam :33

BABYGIRLS….!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who's the favorite?

Lucian - yes. always have and always will. he has one or two that he keeps by his pillows and the rest are just TANGLED in the blankets. you ain’t sitting on his mattress without suffocating at least one teddy bear with your ass 😭 - his favorite stuffy is a periwinkle bunny named lala :3 (but we all know his true favorite is kai 🤫)

Evelyn - why would she need a stuffed animal when she has her girlfriend to keep her warm? 🤭

Sam - YES. don’t let him fool you. he will hide them whenever someone comes to visit but TRUST me when i say he has a whole collection of kitty plushies. only cats tho. he loves cats.

3. Ask them to describe their love interest.

If you were to ask Lucian, he’d probably say something along the lines of this: “he’s the nicest, cutest, sweetest boy in the whole wide world. you’d be jealous if you ever saw him. :3”

Evelyn would be more than happy to tell you a full synopsis on her girlfriend but she usually goes with a simple answer like this: “She’s just a doll. Cuter than a button and prettier than a dove.” (ok Shakespeare 🔥)

haha. Sam? haha. hahaha. um. heads up for the future NEVER ASK HIM THIS!! YOU WILL BE STUCK THERE FOR SIX HOURS. but something like this: “she’s stunning, gorgeous, beautiful, radiant, captivating, charming, elegant, striking, dashing, alluring, exquisite, lovely, mesmerizing, enchanting, irresistible, fabulous, charismatic, fashionable, incredible, incomparable, graceful, appealing, ravishing, sophisticated, magnetic, unforgettable, impressive, flawless, timeless, enthralling, divine, splendid, spellbinding, winsome, jaw-dropping, delightful, fetching, sensational, regal, opulent, sublime, statuesque, dreamy, mesmeric, sumptuous, admirable, dazzling, impeccable, ravishing, luminous, polished, remarkable, enigmatic, unblemished, tantalizing, unforgettable, classy, effortless, opulent, unparalleled,glamorous, immaculate, head-turning, exotic, bewitching, radiating, coveted, commanding, unrivaled, supreme, glamorous, unassailable, unmatched, enthralling, captivating, bewitching, unblemished, spectacular, resplendent, spellbinding, enigmatic, stunning, distinguished, unfading, irresistible, striking, vivacious, regal,spellbinding, impressive, majestic, ethereal, unforgettable, incomparable, breathtaking, sumptuous, resplendent, el-”

4. Do they look good in red?

Lucian - yeah but he looks the best in blue :3

Evelyn - yes she looks good in all colors!! green is definitely her color tho :3

Sam - MEOW MEOW MEOW YES!!! :3

22. Do they like being called pet names? Do they call other people pet names? What's their go-to?

Lucian - he doesn’t like it. HE LOVES IT. call him babe and he’s down for the count. if he’s fond of someone, he’ll probably refer to them as sweetheart/sweetie or honey/hun. but if we’re talking about his BOO……baby every name in the book. kai will not escape them. his go-to is definitely honey though :3

Evelyn - she likes being called pet names by women lmao. men DNI 😡😡. she only calls violet any sort of pet name and it’s usually “darling” or “dear.” her go-to is 100000%…..DARLING DEAR though bc she’s British!! (ok Edgar Allen Poe 🔥)

Sam - he’s on his KNEES for a pet name. while he doesn’t particularly refer to others with any sort of pet names in fear they won’t like it, he does abbreviate a lot of people’s names. for example: riley = rie, lucian = lu, evelyn = ev, etc. if he DOES call anyone a pet name it will be riley and only riley. he leans more toward “baby/babe” :3

#asks!!#oc: lucian williams #oc: evelyn anderson #oc: sam vega #friend’s oc: kai miller #friend’s oc: riley morgan #friend’s oc: violet jones #lukai 🖤🤍#eviolet 💚💜#riam 🩷❤️

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newhope8 · 9 months

Text

Hello everyone. 🥰💕 I hope this finds you doing well. 🦋🙏🏻

I was recently inspired by @its-hannjisung’s New Years Eve 2024 post to tell my journey into the land of K-pop thus far. (Incidentally, do you write K-pop with or without a hyphen? I personally alternate between with & without, lol. 😄🙌🏻) I happily re-blogged her original post (my only item on my page thus far); it’s the one with the animated gif photo of Jisungie waving happily at the camera - & he’s got a light pink-colored scarf draped loosely around his neck. Perfect choice for a photo banner, btw. ☺️ I love it so much. 💗

Briefly about myself … I am Jordan2delta, 33 years old, born a female 🚺, identifying with she/her/hers, M/F with relationships irl (tho Minsung has a soft spot in my heart for some reason). 💃🏻👩🏻🙋🏼‍♀️ You can call me Jordan for short; not my real name irl, yet it’s one I like to use on social media. I just like the sound of it. 🙂

A year & ½ ago is when K-pop first found me … mid-June, beginning of July 2022 to be precise. I should say a year & ¾ ago now, lol … since it is now 2024. Where does time go?

💕💜Read More💕💜

The first group I found was Stray Kids & it was with one music video of theirs in particular that I felt a new spark of hope flicker alive in my heart. (The MV was God’s Menu.) I was randomly scrolling around on YouTube late one night, watching another channel and trying to get my brain to go into numb survival mode in order to cope.

A few months prior, my parents and I relocated from our hometown to a different city in another state due to my dad’s work changing (he is the primary income provider/ “breadwinner” for our family at present). I had a full-time job of my own, with a good salary and excellent company benefits … yet sadly, I did not earn enough to stay behind on my own so I had to move with my folks. I was heartbroken, for I had lost my friends/ co-workers, my source of income (some of the best I’ve ever earned), & the remaining ½ a semblance of a normal life. Natural joy started to flicker and stutter out in the deepest part of myself and some days, I felt so desolate that it was as if my heart was being squeezed internally by an invisible, evil hand … and the liquid weeping from my soul was a thick, black & foul-smelling poison - grief. No one in my family nor other loved ones had passed away, yet I think you can see where I’m coming from. I recall going to bed one night in our new apartment in this new city and feeling my chest being tight … yet it wasn’t actual chest pains. It was hopelessness at our current family situation (which is still continuing to this day). 💔

So, it’s the middle of June 2022 & I’m watching a few videos on a channel I’d recently found. That channel was called Jin & Hattie. Go check them out, btw. They’re adorable. He’s Korean 🇰🇷 she’s British 🇬🇧. They’re also recently married (sometime in 2022 or early 2023, I don’t recall which). No, not the Jin from BTS, haha. 🤪😄💜 I glanced at the sidebar of video recommendations and my eyes strayed to one of SKZ’ videos that randomly appeared there. I may have even clicked on Maniac first, I don’t remember. The point is, God’s Menu caught my eye. I was captivated by the sound and beat of Changbin’s opening rapid-fire rap lines. The next thing that caused my heart to wake up was Felix’s deep baritone, of course. Everyone (& I mean anyone who’s even remotely heard of Stray Kids) knows what part of the MV I am talking about. Does Michelin 5 star ring any bells? 😏🔥 I don’t know what came after God’s Menu to be honest with you & the rest as they say “is history”. I recall reaching for my phone, which was resting on my bedside table next to my bed. I tapped into Apple Music as fast as I could and IMMEDIATELY began building a Kpop playlist. As I bunny-hopped from song to song of theirs, I would add it to my music playlist. Before the night was over, I’m fairly certain I had 20+ songs on that list. And oh, what a glorious list it is. (Flash-forward ⏭️ to the present day {January 2024, as I’m drafting this post in a Google Doc on my tablet} & there are now 141 songs on this playlist, totaling one minute shy under 8 hours … 7 hrs & 59 minutes, according to Apple Music, haha. The last 30-odd songs or so are ones I’ve heard on TikTok on various fan-made edits, so those naturally {to me…} MUST go at the bottom of my main Kpop list. Does that make sense?)

Here’s a brief look at my playlist (& yes, this is what the Apple Music playlist interface can look like). Obviously, this isn’t all of it … just a mere sample. ⬇️ (I need to update this photo of Jisungie as my playlist thumbnail. He’s my ult chief bias OF ALL TIME, btw. Any recommendations for a good photo of Quokka I could use? 🥰🐿️) Yes, I am a proud multistan. 🙌🏻 My irl name I have blurred out with purple-pink. ⬇️ In case you’re curious, yes … you can add whatever photo you want as your playlist’s thumbnail & create a custom catchphrase, just below the Play & Shuffle options. ☺️

After I gave new life to this list of joy ⬆️🇰🇷, I was again randomly scrolling around on social media one day. This next step in my journey was on Facebook, a platform I’ve been on for the past 13 years. I’d clicked around and began “follow/ liking👍🏻” any Stray Kids-themed page I could find, both official & unofficial accounts. A post caught my eye & I stopped long enough to read it. It was talking about how the members enjoyed communicating with STAY on the bubble 🫧 app, both reading messages of support and sending out notes of their own. I remember thinking, what in the world is BUBBLE, so I went over to the App Store and downloaded it to my phone. 2 seconds later, I had an account created and soon discovered the public chat room feature. (This has been discontinued for some time now, unfortunately, due to harassment & bullying allegations between toxic fans and non-toxic individuals.) Had I not randomly [again with RANDOM, I know, haha…] got on bubble when I did and entered the first chat room, I would not have begun my online friendship journey with several different Stays.

I remember feeling a sense of connection to 3 people in particular at first, among the many I was talking with at the time on 🫧. One was a school girl, in her early teens; another was a young single mother in her early 20s; the third person was another young lady in her late teens, about to graduate from high school. The school girl was from the United States. The single mom was from a country in South America; (I am not going to say which country she lives in, to protect her privacy). The late teen was from a European country. It was not long before my new friends and I moved our conversations over to other social media platforms, where we could talk more easily. The girl, single mom and I began talking on WhatsApp. The late teen & I began chatting via private messaging on Instagram. It was only several weeks after the “conversation migration” between me and these people took place that JYP disabled the public chat room feature entirely. I distinctly recall saying to the school-girl friend that I’m glad I found the app when I did; otherwise, I would not have “met” them at all, nor had the blessing of their friendship in my life.

It was when I began texting back & forth with the single mom ⬆️ that I was first introduced to the lovely world of fan fiction (“fanfic” for short). She was writing a multi-chapter story that she was releasing to her Wattpad account, a few chapters at a time. Her native language was not English, so every 2-3 weeks or so, she would text me and the school girl 2 chapters to read and get feedback on, in English using Google Translate. (Single Mom did speak some English, to clarify.) Yes, her fanfic was Stray Kids-themed and it was beautiful. 🥰 I would read her chapter installments and write back what I thought was happening in each one; in essence I was loosely paraphrasing, NOT NOT plagiarizing her work, I hasten to add. ☝🏻 She was thrilled at these summaries, as I came to call them. She told me many times in our conversations that it was a joy to read her own story from another’s point of view. I assured her I was not re-writing or copying her ideas, merely paraphrasing and putting into English grammar/ punctuation what she’d already written … i.e. using her original “manuscripts” as a guide. This went on for the rest of 2022 & part-way into 2023. The school girl would text back when she could, having begun her freshman year of high school (or secondary school if you live OCONUS {outside the continental United States}/ means overseas).

The Late Teen was close to finishing her high school years, not beginning them. My interactions with her lasted only a few more months. I remember she was saving up for a new laptop computer & did indeed buy one. I know this because she proudly sent me photos of her new computer. 📸💻 I began interacting with her only several weeks before School Girl & Single Mom. It was around the time of the Maxident comeback (October 2022) that my conversations with Late Teen began to slowly trickle to a stop. This was a natural progression, neither of us ended communication, it just simply stopped on its own. And that’s the way life is - some people are in your life for only a short time & then they go away for whatever reason. I wished her well in one of my last messages to her & haven’t had contact with her since. We’re still “friends” on Instagram, but we do not talk anymore. And I am ok with that. 🙂 I hope she’s doing well and has enjoyed all the comeback albums since then.

My conversations with School Girl and Single Mom lasted longer than that & were frequent in nature. I still have individual chats with each of these young ladies on WhatsApp, plus the group chat I created on there between the 3 of us 🍜🍜🍜… yet it has been 3-4 months at least, if not longer, since I’ve had more than a few words in reply from either of them. That is totally ok with me too: the girl is now in her second ½ of 10th grade in high school & the single mom’s young toddler has begun a Kindergarten daycare class. I will always be there for them, any time, should they still wish to communicate with me.

As you may have noticed, there is a definite theme of randomness to all of my Kpop experiences thus far. This continues, as you will see. 😄

My next “online Kpop friend” I recall making on a Stray Kids STAY fandom chat room on the Discord app. And again, if it wasn’t for some more random scrolling around on Facebook & commenting on 1 post, the admin of that SKZ fan Facebook page would never have known to add me to her Discord chat room. This next friend I will name Flight Attendant, for that was her job. And again, to protect a friend’s privacy, I will not say what airline company she works for. We began talking just over a year ago, in mid-December 2022. After texting back & forth on Discord for a short while, I again found myself moving a conversation over to dm (direct message) on Instagram. It was a particular joy for me in chatting with this individual, as we were the same age (she’d come to tell me later on when her birthday was; she was only a few months older than me). Do not misunderstand that the previous 3 individuals (School Girl, Single Mom & Late Teen) meant any less to me, they did not. Everyone knows how fun it is to interact with someone your own age (or in your own age group), is all I am saying here.

I do not know if Flight Attendant still works for the same airline, has switched companies entirely or is even in the aviation industry at all anymore. The last we talked was around mid-August 2023, as she was planning to attend KCON 2023 in L.A. with her 2 sisters. ATEEZ and Stray Kids were both slated to appear in concert shows there, plus give fan-meet events as well. For the ½ a year (give/ take a few months in between) she kept in touch, she confided some very personal things to me … of which I always kept her confidence. I was honored & very humbled that she felt safe enough talking to me through our chat to share what she did. She had some very hard ongoing family dynamics she was trying to navigate, on top of maintaining a semblance of a normal life for herself in between working back-to-back 16+ hour shifts with little to no sleep, depending on her flight schedules. Everyone, the next time you take a flight somewhere, anywhere … please PLEASE PLEASE be kind & courteous to the cabin crew, particularly the flight attendants {both male & female}. They work very hard to make your travel as easy as they can. Some aren’t as nice as others, of course, yet I’d like to think the majority of them are decent enough folk. I think you get what I’m trying to say here. They deal with some very nasty passengers (“pax” for short) & giving your hard-working and under-appreciated flight crew even a little amount of kindness in return goes a very long way. They may not ever remember your name or your face after you leave their aircraft & the current flight trip, yet they will always recall the kindness of your soul in reaching out to them with a smile.

I messaged Flight Attendant back a few times more on Instagram over the following months (fall/ winter 2023), yet never received a response. After deliberating for some weeks, I deleted our private chat thread entirely (from my end) on Instagram Messenger. Flight Attendant, if you ever read this (this individual knows who she is), it was not intentional. I never heard back from you & only wished to say hello one last time. I hope you’re doing well & a new semblance of peace has re-entered your life after all the hard things you went through. Please reach out to me any time, I am still here. You know where to find me on Instagram, you know my TikTok & you have my personal cell phone number. If you send a regular text though, please identify yourself to me, just in case (I don’t wish to text a weird person or a scammer back…); my phone number has not changed. God bless you & from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being my friend and for the gift of your friendship and all it gave me. 💕🙏🏻

I will forever be grateful to Flight Attendant for the following reasons. ⬇️ If I’d never become friends with this person, I’d have never had these joys otherwise. So, because of her, I …

Discovered the world of spicy, adult only, Kpop-themed fanfic for the very first time … yeah, as in the MDNI (minors, do not interact) variety. 🔞❌‼️⚠️😏🔥 Look up the author “J.S. Lee” & her H3RO and Onyx series. Holy fuck. H3RO has 6 books, Onyx has 5. They can be bought on Amazon Kindle, read for free on Amazon Kindle Unlimited or purchased in regular paperback form (also on Amazon).

Discovered the even more lovely world of 🔞+ Kpop fanfic on the Archive of Our Own (AO3) website - OMG … I will get to more on AO3 shortly.

Found new skincare products & cosmetics… Crème Shop-brand, specifically the BT21 line of products … their face wipes I love, there’s a different scented one featuring each of the 7 characters. I have tried all 7 of them - my personal favs are RJ, Cooky & Chimmy. And they’re SO CHEAP!!!!! Only $5.99/ per package. YES!!!!!!!!!

The next step in my 🇰🇷💜🫰🏻 journey would have to be when I signed up for Felix’s chat ticket on 🫧. As of today (Thursday January 4, 2024), I’ve had his ticket for 352 days. I cannot believe it’s almost been a year already! Again, where does the time go? I couldn’t do all 8’s tickets each month (that’s $30-odd dollars), yet $3.99 for one ticket … more than doable. ☺️ I’d only been chatting with Flight Attendant for about a month when I got Sunshine’s ticket. ☀️🐥 For anyone else who has his ticket (& even if you don’t), you will know that he sometimes sends photos in large batches, often “spamming” STAY with several hundred messages at a time. Most of the texts are 1-2 word notes, while other times he sends several short sentences in one text. It varies. 59 second or shorter audio messages from him also are shared; if he sends one in Korean he’ll usually send 2-3 more in English (or vice versa). I will say that the more days you have a ticket, the longer a reply you can send back to the group member. At first, you will be limited to typing only 2-3 words back. If you’re patient, you’ll be able to type more the longer you have a ticket. 💕🔖

Shortly after this, I began reading some of my first fanfic stories on AO3. You don’t have to have an account to read anything in a web browser; yet if you want to comment, leave kudos for an author or post a work of your own, yes you do have to request to join the waitlist for an account. I only had to wait about a week or so before the website sent me the official “account creation invite” link.

I will say this about fanfic stories on AO3 … no matter the level of spice, fluff, angst & smut (from G-rated to R & beyond), they made me feel less lonely. It was liberating for me to put myself in the Y/N (Your Name) character’s position and transport myself into another world, albeit temporarily. Even if it is a quick re-read of a favorite one-shot story, it’s always a happy journey into Delulu Land I’m pleased to undertake. I still feel this way about the stories at the present time. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not 100% bereft of friendships and human connection irl to survive solely on fanfic smut. I have 2 other newer Kpop friends I have regular conversations with, plus I have my family about me in my home life as well.

This thought brings me to the next individual whose acquaintance I made. She is a very successful fanfic author on AO3, quite steamy 🔞+ stories mainly. Flight Attendant sent me a link to a story called Tangled; it’s written by ThisPeachIsDirty. Yes, the author’s name is all one word together, each word is capitalized. This story of hers is 60 chapters long & part 1 is complete. Part 2 has two chapters thus far, with who knows how many more to come. Peach🍑, as I’ll refer to her, is a very kind & caring individual & after reading my way through 60 chapters of pure bliss, I began chatting with her on Instagram Messenger. After a few messages were exchanged between us, she encouraged me to begin writing a fanfic of my own (therein being my first ever written sex smut scene). I vividly recall writing for a span of 5-6 hours straight one afternoon & happily sending Peach🍑 screenshots of my first feeble attempt at fanfic smut. I recall her complimenting my unique style, which she told me was unlike most of what she’s read & that I had a natural gift for writing. I don’t know about that per say, I’ve only posted a small handful of chapters (& that was back in August of last year, 2023). I’ve not abandoned my stories; I do have plans to continue with them, plus ideas on a spicy one-shot 3some between a made-up female Y/N & 2 male characters. Oh yes. 🔞🔥😈 Anyway, I digress. Please look up ThisPeachIsDirty on AO3 if you haven’t already. Subscribe to/ follow her content on there and leave a comment for her. You will not be disappointed, I can assure you of that.

One month prior to August 2023 (mid-July), I took the plunge and joined the TikTok community. I’d been collecting albums & other Kpop merch for the past year and slowly began making show & tell videos of items in my collection. I’m not after huge numbers, yet I’ve currently amassed 4,517 likes with 143 followers in the span of 5 ½ months. I think that’s a good accomplishment for 100% homemade, beginner-level content. What do you think? 🙂

I would mention my TikTok @ name, yet I wish to keep the more adult side of fanfic (that I’ve seen on Tumbler & AO3) separate from my merch show & tell videos. I do know for a fact that a few of my TikTok followers are minors … one told me in a direct message that she is 14; while another began her 6th grade year last fall/ is a few years younger. So yeah, I don’t want to have to worry about any “oopsey’s” crossover 🫣🫢😬 and a youngster reading something they perhaps shouldn’t … at least until after they’ve turned 18. As I noted in my short bio at the start of this post, I am 33 years old irl.

If you’re interested, my AO3 name's the same as on here - Jordan2delta. I only have 3 posts/ “works”, which are not complete. The longest story I have on there I’ve named Reclaiming a Spark. It’s Stray Kids-themed, yet I do not use the members’ irl names. You’ll see … I wrote detailed character notes at the end of the first chapter. Pay attention to the animal emojis and you’ll be able to figure out who’s who.

I was …maybe… 4 chapters in on my Spark story, as I’ll call it, when I began receiving a few kudos & comments from other fanfic users on the site. One was Peach🍑, from before. Another individual who left me a kind note is a VERY talented AO3 author too; her name is Minnieprincess. Go check out her one-shot stories on the site, if you haven’t already. Like with Peach’s🍑 stories, you will NOT be disappointed. 😏🙏🏻🔥😈🔞 Oh yes. Yes, yes, yes x10. 🔥🥵

My acquaintance with Minnie🐭👑, as I’ll refer to her, brings me to the next step in my Kpop journey. Since August 2023 when she left her first initial comment on Spark for me, we’ve become dear friends. She is an individual who I know I will stay in regular contact with for the rest of my life.

Minnie🐭👑 & I began our friendship through an ongoing “comment conversation”, back & forth, on my Spark story. We exchanged maybe 1-2 very short messages on Wattpad before connecting again on Instagram Messenger. What followed in the months since then has been one of the most beautiful & meaningful instant-instant-connection friendships I’ve ever had in my life … ever. And no, I am not exaggerating in the slightest. I think she would agree with me. She lives overseas (I am in the United States 🇺🇸) & again, like before with Single Mom, Late Teen & Flight Attendant’s details, I won’t say what country Minnie🐭👑 lives in to protect her privacy. That is my preference. If that sounds weird or prickly to someone else, that’s not my problem.

Speaking a bit more on that instant-connection aspect … Minnie🐭👑 just “got” the subconscious portrayal of my main Y/N female character in Spark & left a detailed comment explaining her first impressions of my feeble writing. No, I’m not having false modesty either; that’s just how I feel about my own musings. The closer she & I became in our friendship, to where it is at the present day, was like a band aid of light to my heart. I found a missing piece of my soul in her friendship, plus a new home. It did not take the 2 of us long before we began referring to one another as “soul sisters.” Yes, this is a 100% real thing. We’ve come to trust one another enough to share things about our lives that are very personal & very private. To put this into perspective a bit more, I am only child irl. So, having Minnie🐭👑 as my “sister” is a gift I’m thankful for x10. 🥹❤️‍🩹

My sister ⬆️ & I talked on Instagram Messenger for several months before we moved our conversations over to WhatsApp … where we communicate to this day. Longer messages at last being able to be exchanged without time & message limit constraints, we began confiding things to each other in greater detail that we’ve not been able to tell anyone else ever before (& we never will). I’ve gained new confidence in myself, plus new respect for who I am as an individual … as a mature, adult female with a mind of her own & a heart that is perhaps too big, one that loves to give and share in equal measure.

One last thing on Minnie🐭👑 … a month ago, I mailed her a Kpop care box. It took 22 days to arrive to her doorstep. I’d bought her 4 different albums and several handfuls of smaller merch items, all of which she heartily adored. 💕🥰 Having the memory of video chatting with her on WhatsApp as we opened up the Rock version of Rock-Star together (we each have a copy) is something I will cherish forever and always think of when I look back through this album’s photo book. 🥹

What may happen next with my journey? I’m not sure, yet I have a few ideas.

Getting my first-ever tattoo (or two or three), Kpop-themed …

Traveling overseas for the first time to visit my sister 🐭👑

Meeting up with Minnie🐭👑 somewhere in the US

Attending my first ever Kpop concert (preferably Stray Kids, tho an ATEEZ event would be awesome too)

Shopping at a Kpop-only stand alone store and buying more albums/ other merch

Beyond these things ⬆️, I have no clue. No matter what happens though, I will raise my hands to the sky regardless in rejoicing at the light and hope of my soul this journey has brought (& continues to bring) me.

If any of the members of Stray Kids, ATEEZ or BTS (my 3 favorite groups) read this Tumblr post of mine — may you know & never forget how much you mean to your fandoms … STAY, ATINY & ARMY. 🥹 I feel if it weren’t for you guys, I would not have ever had all of the beautiful things in my life I’ve written about in this post. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the healing you’ve brought back into mine. ❤️‍🩹☀️

Stray Kids Everywhere All Around the World, You Make Stray Kids Stay

~~Bang Chan🐺, Changbin🐷, Han🐿️, Lee Know🐰, Felix🐥, Seungmin🐶, Hyunjin🦦, I.N🦊~~

8 Makes 1 Team

~~Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yunho, Jongho, Mingi, Wooyoung, Yeosang, San~~

I Purple You!

~~RM, Jin, Jimin, Suga, j-hope, Taehyung, Jungkook~~

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