#bit of vent I guess

[mistfallengw2]

Really hoping the new release will kick me out of this slump. Too many things are making me struggle IRL (rough decisions and waiting for things outside of my control) and I need this exp to be a refreshing mental vacation, one that can give me plenty of positive inspiration to zap my creativity back to life and a bounty of ripe carrots to chase on bad days.

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Sometimes a day makes you want a Starscream to bite and squeeze

[the-infamous-cowardlion]

I love when people from first world countries decide to share on tumblr for the bilionth time that they're using animals products since they're "sooo enviromentally friendly and use the WHOLE animal uwu"

Meanwhile, 80% of the deforested area of the amazon rainforest is used for cattle ranching. But sure, feel free to tell me how eco-friendly your leather is as the tanning poisons our rivers or how important meat is for european culture while latin america burns for your double cheeseburger.

Don't worry, I totally understand it's too much to ask for you to stop eating meat in the name of the planet, animals, and us third-worlders who will be affected the most by global warming.

[inkly-heart]

please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤

🌱

[devildarlindumbass]

DOODLE + RANTINGG

I saw a really cool looking bendy rp/hangout game with exact models and polished animations ON ROBLOX and it looks SO COOLLL but the majority of my online friends aren't into batim? So I ain't got no one to play it with and I do not have the balls to go solo into an rp game <\3

I think it's only really since I started this blog did I start building a little community in the bendy fandom but I still need to stop being so socially anxious and actually talk to people and keep up with mutuals to make friends

I've questioned making a kin or even just general fan server but I already KNOW I wouldn't end up using it because of how awkward I am when It comes to joining let alone starting a conversation

stuck in 'i love this community and want to interact with it more' but 'ohhhhmy god everyone hates me fr'

[octosan]

No but when I say that the problem isn't that Veilguard is bad (when it is IMO) I'm specifically saying that I would have forgiven so much about this game in a vacuum.

In a vacuum, Veilguard feels like a genuine attempt to release a AAA game that isn't preying on its consumers with live service models, overpaid DLC that should have been in the main game, and obvious gamebreaking glitches that turn average players into unpaid beta-testers. And when I was playing it, in a lot of ways it felt like the most technically finished dragon age game of the series. It's the first dragon age game since Origins that doesn't need to be launched by the actually broken EA App! It actually has accessibility options!

But is it really less predatory to misrepresent the tone and content of the game to longtime fans? To not give so much as a warning that it, at the very least, would not be more in line with the writing and depth-of-lore of previous entries? To baldfacedly and repeatedly lie about the development cycle which shrewd players knew by heart already? Is it really okay, is it really acceptable, to wave our hands and go "well the devs probably signed an NDA that makes it so they can't openly address critique" for a game that is 70+ dollars USD and pushes merch that costs upwards of 150 dollars and is (in my understanding) even more expensive overseas? Should I, an average player, have been expected to research the ins and outs of game development language to read between the lines?

Like there's so many... greedy? decisions in this game. I have such a hard time believing that they redesigned the complex and terrifying red lyrium idol into a generic blue fantasy dagger (a redesign so half-assed they had to include a beat in the game where a character "recognizes it" for players to even know it was the same thing) for any reason other than making it easier to replicate as cosplay merch they can sell in their Rook's Coffers bundle which doesn't even include the game.

I mean the fact that they claimed, in the marketing, that the character designs in Inquisition and Veilguard were both made with cosplayers in mind should have been another red flag to me tbh.

Is this really okay?

Like,

I was (briefly) in the Bioware server, you know? I was surrounded by people who were so excited for this game and how it would follow up on previous installments. And every time someone had misgivings because of what they were seeing in the marketing, the general attitude was "everyone who worked on the game is so excited about releasing it, the writers and the devs and even the voice actors, so I will trust them that it is good." People pre-ordered the game even knowing it might not be good because "It's Dragon Age", to say nothing of people who pre-emptively bought that merch bundle.

I was one of those people. I thought "why would they bring attention to this stuff if it wasn't good? Why would they go on about how deep and rich the lore and characters are, how the story balances grim and light-hearted moments, how good the banter is, how much you can shape your Rook and their feelings on their own backstory in roleplay, how Veilguard is better written than all of the prior games, why would they say that this is the best DA game they've ever worked on, if they, at least, don't believe it? Even if in the end I'll find my tastes are different in regards to the narrative choices, it can't be worse than DA2--very flawed but which I loved--or even Inquisition--which I hated (or thought I did until now) but still get a lot of mileage out of. It will still feel like Dragon Age. So yeah, it'll be worth it to me to spend this money."

My sister dfkgkdfkgfdsk begged me to wait until the game was on sale before buying it, but the thought of waiting months and months for that made me feel depressed and again--I took the developers at their word that it would be good.

This is a joke I know the developers are not literally as bad as Gortash.

Now, though, I feel sick and embarrassed that I spent so much money on this game in a time of my life when money is increasingly becoming an issue. When I actively wish I hadn't played this game at all and had its lore and narrative decisions burned into my brain.

And it's taking me days and days to even unpack and articulate this, every time I think I'm done venting the worst of my grief I realize I have more to say.

I've seen that Jenny Nicholson quote going around lately and it's very poignant, but you know what Jenny Nicholson video reminds me of Veilguard the most?

The Star Wars Galactic Cruise video. If you haven't watched it yet, you really should click the link and check it out because it's a fantastic video, the best example of niche journalism I've personally ever seen.

I think about the ways that every point she makes in her video talking about this atrocious money-sucking Disney attraction reminds me of Veilguard. Right up to the very end where we see what we COULD have gotten and didn't because of corporate greed.

As well as the fact that there is a significant crowd of people who not only enjoy Veilguard (which again, is not an issue and I'm genuinely glad if the decisions the devs made made this a better experience for you than previous games because I would not wish this sheer level of buyer's remorse on anyone) but are claiming that the fans sitting here feeling scammed out of unreasonable amounts of money because of the misleading marketing just had "too high expectations" and "you get what you put into it" as if we don't have previous dragon age games with their shitty development cycles to point to in what we wanted out of this one and what the devs were capable of putting into it.

Exactly the same crowd claiming that people paying for an upwards $6,000 USD LARP experience are being "too nitpicky" when they point out various problems like the game breaks for some people and they didn't even make sure everyone can see the stage at the dinner show.

[marxism-songbirdism]

Idk maybe it's me becoming increasingly asexual as I've shifted from 'survival mode' to 'seek basic human companionship mode' to 'seek fulfillment mode' over the past year but I kinda wish there was more non-hookup-centric T4T friendship culture.

Now don't get me wrong I love and will defend everyone in the world's right to hook up and be nasty weird sluts who do casual sex. Genuinely, with no sarcasm, I believe that is great and fulfilling and good for many many people.

But also idk I'd really like to be valued as a friend or just go out and have a great time with someone and there be no sexual undertones, and I think a lot of that is impeded by people (yes, including many other transfems) seeing transfems and in particular outgoing, social transfems seeking companionship as sexual opportunities first and foremost.

Again maybe it's just me being less sexual than I was a year or even six months ago. Or maybe it's that my last hookup ended up being really emotionally tough on me because of how they after afterwards once they'd already gotten sex out of me and suddenly stopped interacting with me and being nice to me. Or maybe it's that last week one of my friends who knows I'm asexual and who I thought was just a normal regular friend asked me to hook up.

But idk. I'd like to be friends with benefits where the benefit is we spend time together and have fun and maybe eat food together or go on a walk and don't have to perform sexuality because 'trans girls all fuck each other within an hour of meeting that's just what we do lol'

I think to really love us authentically you need to love the girl with penis in your coffee shop just as much as you love the girl with penis in your porn.

[bluegekk0]

Sorrow

[nabaath-areng]

“ The battle was glorious, my soul burned bright as the sun, and then I died. I died, my death was proven worthy, and yet I am trapped. Trapped and prevented from being reborn. From continuing the cycle of rebirth for which I am destined. My soul should never have been trapped inside my old flesh. I should never have been forced to become both rot and decay. I know not what manner of foul sorcery that cloaked man used on me, but I will find him. I will tear him asunder if I must. Whether or not the seal is broken, he shall not suffer to live. ”

― There have been an increasing number of reports from amateur hunters returning unsuccessfully, claiming an undead mark killing clan targets before its members can get to them as the reason for it.

More experienced hunters however have recently confirmed that this one is no mark at all, but rather a peculiar steppe warrior who is far away from home. The man tells little about himself or what his goals are, but introduces himself as Jargai Dotharl to those who are social enough to dare conversing for longer than a few minutes.

Hunters who come across Jargai have conflicting opinions of him. Some describe him as a formidable warrior who can take down even the most vicious of marks with only his own sword. Others claim that he is all but useless in a fight, dropping his weapon from the slightest bit resistance and collapsing on the ground while writhing from what looks to be incredible pain.

He accepts neither coin nor company for his feats, but rather trades in information exclusively. He reaches out for clues about a strange individual who he cannot describe in any manner of detail, and then gets irate and leaves when people inevitably don't know who he's referring to. He refuses to show anyone his face, covering it underneath a shroud at all times.

Truly not an easy individual to get along with, but most that interact with him will still conclude that he is overall a reliable fellow, all things considered.

Still, most people with sense keep their distance. While the vast majority of them would be unable to pinpoint why, there's no denying the strange air that hangs over him like a dark cloud.

Jargai prefers it that way. The dead and living have no business being friends with each other.

[clonedchaos]

Welp, as I was googling some images for Yasammy week, I came across a thread and turns out one of my favorite Jurassic YouTubers is homophobic and a Yasammy hater…

(More ranting in the tags)

[delis-4-meats]

I've just had the realization...

...that I- *sobs*- I only hyper fixate on doomed from the start ships and I'm kinda pissed about it, so I'm making it everyone's problem.

OKAAAY HERE WE GO!

Merlin and Arthur:

(There are 5 seasons of romantic/sexual(?) tension I need to cover and not enough time so imma just throw shit out there)

Merlin (a sorcerer/wizard/god/Hiccup Haddock) accidentally gets the job of being Prince Arthur of Camelot's manservant... Bro really didn't want the job. At this time in Camelot, sorcery is illegal but what most don't know is that some are born with magic abilities, so they are convicting and executing innocent people. Soooo yeah, living in the same place as a bunch of anti-witch people and being someone who practices/was born with magic abilities, not good. Eventually Arthur and Merlin became inseparable, Merlin throughout the years has been saving Arthur's life without him knowing and trying to change Arthur's opinion on sorcery without outing himself. In the end Arthur dies (In Merlin's arms btw after he proposed to Merlin) and Merlin is doomed to wander the Earth for all of eternity (Because pookie is basically the wizard god and refuses to die until he sees Arthur again) waiting for Arthur to come back. (SOBS MY EYELIDS OFF)

Megatron and Optimus:

(This is just for TFO, I'm not going to get into the burning shit hole that is TFP, IDW, G-1, and every other wonderful universe's Optimus and Megatron relationship)

Besties/Lovers, inseparable, the ideal relationship in a hard, down on your luck life... Then they realized they were slaves and had two ways of going about taking out their terrible tyrant of a leader (Fucking hate Sentinel). Megs going straight to murder and possibly torture in front of all of Icon (Exposing Sentinel in such a harsh, violent way that would've gone against his moral compass in the beginning of the movie). OP though, has a different approach to expose him to the rest of the world (Sure, is taking someone's head and racking their brain for memories kinda violent, yeah. Does it probably hurtless/is less harmful for big space robots then it is for humans, most likely. It was still a little unsettling for me though) and, unlike Megs, wants to imprison him. Megs got lost in his rage and vengeance (Sasuke core) that made him do a whole lot of things he CAN'T take back, even if he wanted to (He doesn't want to. He's so convinced that he knows what he's doing is morally correct and will fix all his pain). OP was hurt badly emotionally at least (My boi has a whooole lot of trauma) and was actually KILLED by Megs, he has a whole WORLD literally forced onto his shoulders with his new position of a Prime and he (A former mining slave with no education) NEEDS to take care of the whole damn thing. On top of that OP was thrown into war with the Quintessons while probably having to deal with terf battles with the Deceptions, controlling potential riots, politics (ew), and supporting a probably failing economy. ("Thanks Primus," said no one ever. Hi, I'm no one.)

Thorin and Bilbo:

(I'm talking about the movies, yes I read the book, but shut up because I like the movies and idc what you say)

Strangers to friends to lovers in little more than a year. Thorin was guarded, stoical, rude, and harsh with Bilbo in the beginning because he thought that Bilbo was too pompous and fragile to help in their treacherous journey. And Bilbo (being the pompous lil boi he is) is scared out of his head, full of wonder of the world outside the Shire (enough sass to fill the Earth like the great flood in da Bible), and was basically forced on said treacherous journey, has feelings for Thorin but they are purely physical and fade quickly because of how rude Thorin is to him (very ungentlemanly for a king if you ask him). But over time Bilbo proves that he's more than his best suit and by the heavens, Thorin. Is. Down. BAD. He can defend himself to a certain extent, hot. He can use his wit to get out of almost any situation, hot. He will give up his word and sacrifice his honor on Thorin's name and honesty, hot as fuck man. They basically have a WHOLE MOVIE with them subtly loving on each other... BUT THEN THORIN GETS THE DRAGON SICKNESS!! He goes crazy over cursed dragon gold, throws out Bilbo, and starts a war. Then after like half the movie, he faces the danger and says 'NO MORE!' to the gold, rallies his troops, wins the war, AND BLEEDS OUT AND DIES!! IN BILBO'S ARMS!! Leaving POOR SWEET BILBO to go home, alone, depressed, and CURSED!! Bilbo comes home and everyone thinks he was dead so they're selling (Stealing) his belongings, his name and reputation is dragged through the mud because he went on an AdVeNtUrE, and he's single for the REST OF HIS LIFE!! (They ruin me... Cries around my suspiciously bagginshield shaped fics & fanart)

Ok, I'm done... For now.

Gonna be honest, doing this made me think of more ships Bdko (iykyk), SkyStar, and Hijack (In a lot of fics that I read anyway) are a few of them.

Might do this again it was a good vent, besides no one's gonna see this anyway.

[iwuvcofi]

Dead Plate

[ohboy-herewegoagain]

i hate how it really does feel like you cant say anything online anymore

[akiiame-blog]

I'm sorry for the scare in my last post 🫂 I'm feeling a little better now, and I really appreciate everyone's comments and support. I always appreciate them..❤️

It'll take some time, but I really want to start improving myself asap. Never considered the possibility of me having depression until fairly recently. Seems kinda obvious looking back that I've had this feeling for a long time now.

[starlingfawn]

throws more squid art at you

listen to this,,!!!!!

[waxwingshavemelted]

I kinda wish I had a fauxcest relationship I need a cute person to call my younger brother or sister to love me and say I'm such an awesome older brother/sister/sibling. To praise me. Always think I'm cool. Maybe kiss me a little while calling me big bro. I want to be loved like that. I guess