#bitch ofc they were they’re mARRIED

[incorrectpinescone]

*five hundred years in the future*

Ghost!Dipper: “I can’t believe our graves are getting excavated by archaeologists! This is so cool! I can’t wait to know what they’ll learn about our time period!

Ghost!Wirt: I don’t like strangers poking around our bones but I guess if it’s for education…

Ghost!Dipper: Aw, c’mon! These are professionals! They’ll be perfectly respectful, and-

Archaeologist: Look at these two male skeletons embracing. They must have been brothers! Or really close roommates!

Ghost!Dipper: ….

Ghost!Wirt: Let’s haunt him.

[comradekatara]

gonna say smth that might be controversial but ykw i need to speak my truth. ideally, for me, kataang is like. bffs to middle school boyfriend girlfriend to amicable exes to friends w benefits to coparents of 2 great kids (bumi doesn’t exist bc he’s annoying) while they’re each in different parts of the world doing their own thing but also they see each other all the time and are always hanging out and traveling and chilling together because at the end of the day they are, fundamentally, best friends who love each other more than anything, and always will be, forever. peace & love & light; mwah <33

[dannyricsmirrorball]

tying the knot • cl16 part 2 ੈ✩‧₊˚

ੈ✩‧₊˚ pairing || charles leclerc x gasly!reader

ੈ✩‧₊˚ genre || social media au

ੈ✩‧₊˚ summary || everyone is together on break for some reason, perhaps a wedding. question is… whose is it?

alt. y/n is pierre’s younger sister. there’s no way she’s dating his best friend aka her childhood friend… right?

ੈ✩‧₊˚ warning || google translate 😬

ੈ✩‧₊˚ a/n || so sorry this took a-bit more time to get out then i initially planned but nevertheless hope you enjoy!! one more part after this x. i lied

NOT PROOF READ YET!

part 1 here!

august 2023

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 1,698,092 others

yourusername forever & always

username2 WHAT?!

username18 please don’t tell me we lost y/n to a guy and a marriage all in one day

username1 I AM HYPERVENTILATING

username9 WHO IS THAT MAN?

username33 y/n is MARRIED?!

username14 omfg she’s so stunning

username81 y/n cheated on me 😭

username72 everyone losing their minds over the guy but i just wanna know who from the grid went

username18 i NEED to know who was in the wedding party

pierregasly jolie fille 🩷

francisca.cgomes sexiest bride out

⤷ yourusername stop it i’m blushing 🫣😘

charles_leclerc 🤍

⤷ username55 u guys don’t think…

⤷ username16 omfg i’d actually cry if it was him, i’ve shipped them forever like they’re literally childhood friends to lovers, brothers best friend/best friends sister, slowburn irl… but realistically it’s defs not

lilymhe the cutest 🥹 but make sure he knows ur still MY wife

⤷ yourusername ofc ofc baby

⤷ alex_albon oh?

luisinhaoliveira99 congrats my girl 😍

estebanocon ouah y/n!

lorenzotl félicitations petite soeur

⤷ yourusername enzo 🥹

⤷ username62 lorenzo calling y/n his little sister I COULD CRY

alex_albon nice!

georgerussell63 congratulations! 👏

carmenmmundt 🩷🩷

joris__trouche belle cérémonie y/n!

⤷ yourusername ❤️

arthur_leclerc 😄😄

heidiberger_ blushing bride!

leclerc_pascale ma belle fille

⤷ yourusername merci maman ❤️

liked by alex_albon, charles_leclerc, and 108,873 others

lilymhe my best friend in the world got cuffed 🥂

tagged yourusername

yourusername the best maid of honour i could’ve asked for 🥹🩷

⤷ lilymhe forever babe 🤍

yourusername u next!!! alex_albon

⤷ alex_albon maybe she’ll stop calling u her wife then 😵‍💫

⤷ lilymhe NEVER

username23 OMFG LILY WAS HER MAID OF HONOUR 😭😭

username9 LILY AND ALEX WERE AT THE WEDDING!!!now we know people from the grid were defs there, now onto who else!

⤷ username11 i mean obv they would be… lily and y/n are best friends. also pierre and kika were obviously there bc he’s her brother, charles and his brothers probably too bc they’re childhood friends, and based on who else was in italy for what was obviously the hens night and bachelor party - carlos, carmen, george, heidi, danny, luisa, lando, isa, carla, charlotte

luisinhaoliveira99 the fits 🥵

alex_albon top night yourusername charles_leclerc

alex_albon top night yourusername

⤷ lilymhe omg alex

⤷ yourusername don’t pretend that wasn’t on purpose

⤷ username72 what are they talking abt?

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, and 279,093 others

francisca.cgomes parabéns linda menina. eu te amo minha irmã, sempre e para sempre. 💒

translation: congratulations beautiful girl. i love you my sister, always and forever. 💒

tagged yourusername

username15 gonna cry… kika calling y/n her sister 😭😭

username8 the best sister-in-laws

yourusername kika 🥹🥹 the best sister ever

alex_albon LMFAO y/n crying in the third slide 💀

⤷ yourusername watch it albono

⤷ lilymhe idk if my eyes were deceiving me but i’m pretty certain i saw u welling up

⤷ georgerussell63 no no ur eyes weren’t deceiving u, alex cried like a little bitch

⤷ alex_albon UM OK?? i’ve watched them grow up waht did u expect 😫 also george i know u aren’t speaking

⤷ yourusername awww that’s rlly sweet alex

liked by georgerussell63, yourusername, and 109,039 others

carmenmmundt felicidades linda 🤍

tagged yourusername, georgerussell63

yourusername carmen!! 🩷

username63 carmen slaying the wedding fit TRUST she will always show UP

georgerussell63 😍😍

username62 everyone going all in and out for y/n’s wedding, as they shouldddd

alex_albon george looking fitty

⤷ username2363 galex rights!

liked by danielricciardo, lancestroll, and 100,633 others

heidiberger_ cutest weekend! many well wishes to my girl yourusername 🤍

username4 omg danny and heidi look SO good

yourusername love u!!! thanku my love 🤍

username3 this is frfr the wedding of the year

username99 scotty and blake were there?? y/n fr knows EVERYONE

⤷ username8 love how we’ve all collectively ignored that the groom also has family and friends 😭

danielricciardo 😫

liked by scottyjames31, chloestroll, and 187,828 others

daniel3.jpg the royal wedding p1

tagged yourusername, heidiberger_, scottyjames31

username3 heidi and daniel look so perfect 😭

username82 i’m sorry but how many outfit changes did y/n have?!? i love thoooo

yourusername so glad both ur girlfriend and boyfriend could attend

yourusername omg danny 🥹 these are so perfect

scottyjames31 looking fresh DR

username6 i want daniel3.jpg to photograph my wedding

username85 her wedding was literally a DREAM. like the venue, the guest list, the multiple dresses, DANNYRIC PHOTOGRAPHY

username64 the parasols 😍

lando.jpg all my photos turned out crap sorry yourusername

⤷ alex_albon yeah bc u were on the piss mate

⤷ yourusername it’s okay lan just glad u had fun

charles_leclerc thanku daniel.

⤷ daniel3.jpg oh charles don’t thank me yet. this is part 1…

⤷ charles_leclerc daniel.

⤷ daniel3.jpg i take bribes in the form of cash 😄

⤷ yourusername money badger frfr

⤷ username36 oh no what dirt does danny have on charles?!

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 1,898,727 others

maxverstappen1 many congrats to the happy couple!

username92 even max was there?!

danielricciardo looking fitty maxxie

⤷ maxverstappen1 all for you

⤷ heidiberger_ i get the struggle now carmenmmundt lilymhe

username18 just max lookin this good for the wedding of the centuryyy

username74 losing lestappen but at least it’s to y/n

⤷ username14 ITS NOT CHARLES

yourusername thanku maxy 🩷

landonorris he’s laughing at my jokes here 😝😘

⤷ charles_leclerc *laughing at you

username16 IM SORRY BUT LIKE- charles doesn’t even follow max but he’s liked and commented….

liked by yourusername, carla.brocker, and 299,882 others

arthur_leclerc fiancé à marié 🤍

tagged yourusername, lorenzotl, leclerc_pascale, charles_leclerc, pierregasly

username84 so arthur was at the engagement…

⤷ username82 hmmm interesting

carla.brocker 🩷🩷

yourusername love uuu thurthur 🤍🤍

username80 just arthur posting for his brother’s wedding 😝

username73 the picture of the gasly and leclerc siblings with jules and tom IM SO SOFT

charles_leclerc mate where did you find that picture 😦 long time ago, great memories ❤️

username46 guys idk if u understand how crazy it was that he was at the engagement…

⤷ username55 is normal for friends and family to be there for the engagement

liked by scuderiaferrari, landonorris, and 583,378 others

carlossainz55 congrats to the happy couple!

tagged yourusername, landonorris

username18 by the tags you’d think y/n and lando got married 💀

landonorris hot

username7 carlos posting lando like they’re a couple LOL

yourusername grazie chilli 😘

charles_leclerc looking good mate 👌

username72 awww carlos was there as well 🥹

⤷ username46 obv had to be there for his teammates wedding

liked by yourusername, luisinhaoliveira99, and 677,828 others

landonorris don’t remember much 🍾🍾

tagged luisinhaoliveira99, yourusername

luisinhaoliveira99 🥰

username27 he cleans up NICE

username52 how drunk did he get? 💀

yourusername not surprised lan

carlossainz55 😍

alex_albon i remember everything…

liked by lorenzotl, charles_leclerc, 27,727 others

charlotte2304 🔔💐 love you yourusername

tagged carla.brocker

username8 ahhh leclerc wags at y/n’s wedding 🥰

lorenzotl ❤️

carla.brocker pretty 🩷

yourusername 🥹 love u love u love u 🥹

username26 y/n’s sister in laws…?

username3 stop being delulu

liked by luisinhaoliveira99, carlossainz55, and 200,929 others

isahernaez el amor está en el aire. espero que la vida de casados ​​te trate bien, la ceremonia más bonita y me lo pasé genial jugando a decir sí al vestido! 🥂💒

translation: love is in the air. i hope married life treats you well, the most beautiful ceremony and i had a great time playing say yes to the dress!

tagged yourusername

username18 ahhh i love their friendship sm

username66 isa helped pick y/n’s dress 😭 y/n never beating those ferrari wags rumours

yourusername isa 😭 thanku for everything 🥹 i’m gonna cry

luisinhaoliveira99 sooo pretty!!

username7 her and y/n still being friends 🫂🫂

carlossainz55 😍

⤷ username55 🤨

charlottesiine isaaaa 🤩

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, and 109,837 others

daniel3.jpg p2

tagged yourusername, landonorris, pierregasly, francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc

username71 danny coming in w the content he knew we wanted

username14 pierre and kika 🥹

username35 omg ofc they all jumped in the pool. wouldn’t expect anything less from this bunch 😭

username82 omfg this looks so much fun

username27 lando getting litty 💀💀

⤷ username2 lmfao look at charles tho 😭

yourusername foolish of me to think these wouldn’t make the cut but at least none of mine are totally embarra 💀

username16 oh to get drunk and party at y/n’s wedding reception w the grid + the entire f1 community

username8 sorry i’m actually creasing at charles. this must be what he was talking abt on the other post lmfao.

charles_leclerc GIVE ME MY 50 BACK

⤷ lilymhe 50? daniel u do not know how to play the game

⤷ usernams74 did charles really expect 50€ to silence the money badger?

username81 oh charles was GONE gone

username72 y/n planned this so perfectly. making sure it was during summer break when the entire grid was off so they could get wasted without having to worry

scuderiaferrari what is our driver doing…? that’s just bc your so happy right charles… right?

⤷ charles_leclerc look away admin. look away 😔

⤷ daniel3.jpg drunk on happiness 🤣🤣

liked by leclerc_pascale, olliebearman, and 120,838 others

lorenzotl nous vous avons vu grandir ensemble, maintenant vieillir ensemble.

translation: we watched you grow up together, now grow old together.

tagged yourusername, leclerc_pascale, charles_leclerc, pierregasly

username23 ummm does this mean what i think it means?!

username16 IM SORRY??? is lorenzo saying that y/n’s husband is CHARLES

username22 THIS IS HOW I WINNNNN. childhood friends to lovers EXCELLENCE

yourusername awww enzo 🥹

leclerc_pascale mes beaux enfants 🤍

arthur_leclerc oh 😒😒

⤷ yourusername youngest child struggles arth 🤷‍♀️😫

⤷ pierregasly sucks to suck

charles_leclerc oh putain how old we are!

username52 this is CRAZY like i’m so happy but i never thought this would become real

username91 going to SOB look at pascale fixing up y/n’s makeup 😭

⤷ username23 she watched her grow up and now she’s watching her marry her son 😭

username18 i still think that it’s not charles. like why would they hide that

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, and 1,720,737 others

charles_leclerc my best friend is married 🤍 si fier 😘

tagged yourusername

username99 lol nvm

username87 i’m actually going to SOB

username2 damn i’m still rooting for them

username9 the pic of him y/n and pierre OH IM GONNA CRY

yourusername ❤️

username7 WHY LORENZO WHY DID U TEASE US LIKE THAT?? MAKING US BELIEVE IT WAS CHARLES.

⤷ username86 he’s delulu like us

⤷ username72 he’s still manifesting. biggest y/n charles shipper.

username16 waiting for him to say ‘to me’ 😭 PLEASE

pierregasly mate how long ago was that 😮‍💨

username91 charles and that damn 😘 emoji

username74 i can feel the pining and yearning from here

username62 i just know mans is going thru it. he has had the fattest most obvious crush on her foreverrrr.

username43 dc what anyone says. this doesn’t mean anything. like this could still be a husband posting his wife.

liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes, and 493,938 others

pierregasly félicitations ma petite. celebrating my best friends tonight!

tagged yourusername, francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc, arthurleclerc, lorenzotl

username37 i’m gonna sob. their relationship is so special to me.

username14 the pic of them dancing 😭😭

username01 best brother sister duo

username16 ‘celebrating my best friends’ hmmmm ur not slick pierre

⤷ username92 or he’s just best friends w her husband. charles isn’t his only best friend.

yourusername pierre 🥹🥹

username81 IM SORRY BUT THE LAST PIC COME ON

username36 im not one to feed into rumours but like why would lorenzo, arthur, pierre, AND charles include baby pics of all of them if it’s not y/n and charles

⤷ username63 y/n is practically family to the leclerc. they grew up w her. she’s like they’re sister.

⤷ username36 see id get that but why would pierre include a baby pic of all of them instead of just him and y/n. like it’s y/n’s wedding and he’s her sister. what does that have to do w the leclercs.

⤷ username16 RIGHT like i get if the leclercs just did that but pierre also including it and tagging the leclercs… like they’re joining families idk man

username91 i’m totally not crying abt the baby pic of y/n and then the pic of her at her wedding holding her cousin’s baby

username27 i’m sorry pierre but i could recognise that jaw from a mile away

username72 all these people saying it’s charles. r u forgetting his post where he said his BEST FRIEND is married???

⤷ username46 people can like yk lie

⤷ username16 he said his best friend is married. he could mean married to him?

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 493,982 others

yourusername a fairytale 💒

username73 her wedding was a literal fairytale

username27 the shoes 😲 jaw dropped

username86 eating up every piece of content from this wedding. especially any of y/n and her husband 😩

lilymhe my princess 🥹

⤷ yourusername loml iloveuiloveiloveu thanku sm for everything and all of ur help lils

username92 those flower girls look so cute 😭

pierregasly nuit émouvante petit. tellement heureux pour vous deux.

⤷ yourusername je t’aime

francisca.cgomes best night ever linda ✨✨

carlossainz55 so happy for the both of you 👏👏

arthur_leclerc no one deserves it more ❤️

⤷ yourusername mon petit frère 🥺

charles_leclerc ma meilleure pote

taglist: @dl-yum @honey6578 @lillianacristina @xcinnamongirl @glitterf1 @christianpulisic10

[merakiui]

I never rly thought much of Azul and Idia but your blog made me realize they both radiant maidenless energy but in different directions (Source: me) Like Idia is canonically the type to ask a girl what their fave anime is and ask them to say the exact time frame the mc started the cafe arc “ofc it’s 12:56 S1EP8 how could you not know that? Ugh this is why I hate normies they’re all fake fans 😒”, when the goal of that interaction was to get some bitches like please sir you are your own cockblock (probs starts a podcast to sulk about it too). At least Azul tries and miserably fails and makes reader think they’re part of a social experiment but he gets brownie points for putting himself out there

They're both maidenless in their own ways, but Azul is arguably more likely to get a maiden if he can stop being so fake for once ("be yourself" they say and Azul avoids that suggestion like it's the plague when he's trying to look good for his darling). T_T Idia rarely goes out, so that makes meeting a maiden a little difficult. It’s another story if it’s online. Idia becomes an OP god when he’s messaging online. 

Azul makes progress with you and he 100% brags about it to Idia during a board game club meeting. The exchange definitely went like this (source: trust me):

"How's that romance—what was it called again?—anime you've been watching?"

"Uh, fine? Why? What's up with that weird smile?"

"Oh, nothing. It's not as if I've lived it. No, not at all." He toys with a pawn, narrows his eyes smugly—proudly—and there's a delightful edge to his voice. What a cheeky octopus he is...

Idia analyzes him for a long second. "You got the romantic good end." His voice is flat, unflinching. He’s not surprised, but he should be. This is Azul he’s talking to. Azul hasn’t reached a high enough level with you to romance you yet. Now if that level was raised by the amount of silver-tongued flattery he subjects you to, it would have already reached its peak. 

"I did indeed get the romantic good end."

Instead of getting jealous (though he does feel envious, incredibly so, but he buries it under intense curiosity) Idia leans in and demands to know just how good of an ending it is. Was it just a kiss? Was there tongue? Was it more than just a kiss? Don’t tell him Azul actually went all the way?! That’s totally a newlyweds scenario, right?! Were there candles and whatever other lovey-dovey stuff married couples do in order to set the mood? Normie stuff, of course. But when it comes to you, Idia can put aside his distaste for normies and their ways. 

Azul doesn’t fluster, but his cheeks are warming. He smiles bashfully, almost dreamily, and says, “It was a kiss on the cheek.”

Idia stares at him. Somehow, even though he’s never kissed anyone or been on the receiving end of a sugared smooch (well, he almost was, but that kiss would have been fatal), he knows that’s not exactly something to flex. Suddenly, he’s no longer interested in the whimsical tale Azul’s spinning. A kiss on the cheek is hardly a good end. It’s not even an end! That’s something you get way before the good end, right? 

“Dude, your mom probably kissed you on the cheek all the time when you were a kid. Do you really consider that an achievement?”

Azul sulks in the corner for the rest of the meeting, and when Ortho questions his odd behavior Idia only offers a shrug and, “He got the worst ending of all: ambiguity.”

[ateawithoney]

my diehard ships: in descending order of how canon they are

Laszlo & Nadja: (idk their ship name lol) married and endlessly horny and in love with each other, pls don’t ever change this relationship

Vauseman: Dated in the past and their whole love affair is a huge part of the show. They part ways in the end but Piper bucks up and moves to Ohio just to be with Alex so still canon and hopefully real married when Alex gets out

Janason: Had an on and off relationship due to Jason being rebooted hundreds of times but Janet always retained feelings for him. They eventually find each other again through the course of the series and finally get to spend endless bearimies together til Jason walked through the door 😭 Still in love til the end but it’s so sweet and sad

Harlivy: Literally is canon in the comics, was heavily implied since the 90s, also implied in other assorted animated medias, kinda only noticed as “canon” recently cause of the HQS (which I love) but it’s unfortunate people wouldn’t believe me till that episode and season came out. In media where they’re not together though they were either exes or I choose to believe they have a past together :)

BBRae: Depends on the universe whether they’re together or not but for the most part they’re dating or have mutal crushes on each other. If not, I choose to ship in any universe lol

Zadison: Had a canon threesome but should’ve been properly developed more as a relationship but Ryan Murphy hates sapphics >:((

Jori: Bade was the main ship throughout the run but if they were ever to reboot it, Jori would have to be canon now. Cause as we all rewatch it, we understand it was Jori all along.

Gelphie: Similar to Jori in we all thought it was the straight ship but you rewatch it and think, wait a minute..these bitches gay. Ofc you’re wrong but in my HEAD they ran off together

Hizzie: For a hot second, I legit thought these two were gonna be canon. I know it’s Hosie forever but like after Kaylee left, the development between these two took a weird turn and Lizzie kept rejecting MG and going to Hope. Plus their already established frenemy relationship and past episode developments focused on their friendship like..why didn’t this happen?

Amedot: I thought this was gonna happen back in 2016/17 because of weird subtext we got but that was probably just wishful thinking. My thoughts on it were “I know nothing is going to happen but I think there’s a less than 1% chance for something, or at least for subtext”. But then Lapidot took over the fandom so I was wrong lol. Ofc neither ship actually became canon and Peri was revealed to be an intended aro/ace, which slowed down some shipping but not all of it ofc. Side note: the artist who “confirmed” ace/aro peri also ships amedot sooo.. I guess you’re good in that aspect? Anyways, now I do still ship it but mostly nostalgically and I think prime 2016 amedot was the best.

Cassunzel: I like this purely hypothetically but I do think they had a canon crush on each other in the show which is gone by the ending but it’s only real in my heart ❤️

Reiusa: Literally never gonna happen but I like the what if of them together in the future and co-parenting Chibiusa while still giving jabs at each other and the whole Rei cares about Usagi more than she lets on. I’m wrong but it’s nice to dream

[zen1dol]

what's mimi and kara's married life like? Does she get along with the other matsus? Or the background characters?

*cracks knuckles*

their married life is awfully mundane and there isn’t much to really say about it. mimi is the breadwinner and has BEEN the breadwinner. karamatsu is only expected to cook and clean, and mimi’s not going to make him get a job because. let’s face it karamatsu is a trophy husband and mimi is rich as hell

if they ever have kids, they’ll be adopted. mimi miiiiight not be able to have kids ….. but that’s just a theory …… a mimi theory……

“does she get along with the other matsus 🥺🥺🥺” bitch. don’t ask that question. ichimatsu is threatened by mimi. literally. mimi doesn’t like how rude he is to karamatsu and like i knowww they’re brothers that’s what brothers are like to each other, but that’s ALSO mimi’s significant other and it ALSO doesn’t like how he just . takes it.

mimi gets a bit mad at ichi, ichi tries to retaliate, but then remembers this is a Rich Girl that could probably do worse things than beat him up he cannot comprehend (bullying ?) that it will not face any consequences for.

lemme uhhh thing from discord:

ok ok. once upon a time osomatsu and mimi were rly close friends like that bitch was its bestie (aside from nyaa ofc) and he would borrow money and talk shit abt choromatsu and fuck arnd w mimi and it was awesome even if mimi didnt rly understand him that well but whatever. he (+ kara) inevitably introduced it to choro so it could understand what osomatsu is talking abt, tho it clicked well w choro . wasnt much of a big deal. until mimi started hanging out w choro more bc mimi understands him better than oso and then mimi realises it doesnt get along with osomatsu *at all*. ex osomatsu would ask mimi for an opinion (that he doesn't actually care for) and mimi would be accustomed to say "do whatever u want", whereas choromatsu would ask mimi for an opinion, mimi would say "do whatever u want", and choro would say "i literally asked u for a reason dont gimme that" and mimis like "omg . " . and it starts to notice that it does not feel exhausted after being with choro like it did with oso. eventually mimi just stops talking to oso altogether .

damn! sad !! also that happens so gradually i think oso only kind of notices.

like i said b4 mimi’s close w choromatsu. of course it is they’re both otaku but mimi likes anime more than idols so they try to introduce each other to the stuff they like (actual thing i do watch demon slayer. watch demon slayer. watch demon slayer NOW)

that isn’t to say mimi being friends with nyaa and choro means nyaa and choro are friends. choromatsu thought that but quickly found out that was Not True At All

i also think it’s rly funny how mimi iru and choro can be like a “smart group” or whatever but mimi and iru are actually smart and choro gets lost and feels left out when they talk abt smart successful ppl shit. i mean mimis like an engineer or something

but no like when it’s just choro and mimi it’s awesome. they go shopping together bc choro won’t make fun of it for wanting to go to anime stores and choro sometimes forgets mimi’s a “girl” and not one of his brothers so when mimi’s like “ohh i need to go 2 uhh victoria’s secret or some shit” and choromatsu’s like “nooo you can’t!!! wait.” and then remembers he’s out with a “girl” omg

jyushimatsu’s chill. that’s all i can say. he’s awesome. mimi’s a bit frightened of totty and totty is a bit frightened of mimi. when will they get over this 😢

mimi does in fact get along with normal people! you’ve read before mimi is super close with nyaa and even calls her nyaa-dono which she finds funny. mimi is also friends with dobuko and chibita, and speaks to atsushi on occasion. it’s a regular at sutabaa and aida and sacchi know it, too, though they were quite alarmed to see it come in with karamatsu on its arm of all people.

and of course it knows more people than that. it’s got employees that have employees that have employees. there might be more to that chain idk i haven’t thought about it enough.

[sexynetra]

UGH , JUST READ UR ANARCIA BOXER AU AND MY HEART IS MELTING ( IN A GOOD WAY OFC ) but omg do u have any anarcia hcs ???

Omg my heart 🥺 I’m so so so glad you liked it. And BOY DO I I have so many 😭 let’s see… some current favorites (most of them are Netra-centric I’m sorry I parasocialized too hard with her)

I know in my SOUL that Anetra is really silly goofy once you get to know her so everyone thinks she’s super intimidating when they see her cause she’s tall and stoic and has her “bitch face” and the scar, but when it’s just her and Marcia, they’re both like… constantly laughing and messing around and being so stupid all the time like never a serious moment

When Anetra gets high (which is often as we all know) she gets SUPER affectionate and cuddly and wants to sit on Marcia’s lap (this also happens when she drinks, every time she’s drunk she just gushes to whoever she’s with about how beautiful Marcia is and how much she loves her and how she’s totally gonna marry her someday)

Anetra is obsessed with having her hair played with, she just melts every time, so Marcia always offers to do her hair for her, and once they start dating, Anetra starts showing up to everything with these gorgeous intricate braided styles just so Marcia can play with her hair for a bit longer

Marcia is actually the one who initiated their relationship! She kept trying to drop hints that she liked women (and specifically Anetra) but Anetra was positive that she wasn’t Marcia’s type so she never made a move until Marcia got fed up of waiting and kissed her during a movie night

Speaking of! They had weekly movie nights even before they were dating :) they alternate who gets to pick the movies. Marcia always pics rom coms and classics (and musicals) and Anetra cries at them every time. Anetra chooses more horror and indie films and Marcia always pretends to be more scared than she actually is so she has an excuse to get closer to Anetra (and maybe even hold her hand)

They like to come up with as many cute pet names and nicknames for each other as they can and use them all the time, almost sickeningly sweet to those who have to be around for it (Anetra’s favorites for Marcia are sunshine and princess. Marcia’s favorites for Anetra are Angel and kitten)

Boxer AU version Anetra and Marcia specific headcanon! Anetra is so protective and dominant and aggressive in her day to day life that when she gets home she kinda just wants to be babied, but luckily Marcia loooooves to take care of her in every single way she can. But also sometimes Anetra gets to take care of Marcia after she has a particularly hard day at work, and she does also genuinely love to make Marcia feel like a real life princess who has her every single whim tended to. Also Anetra does most of the cooking but Marcia bakes all the time :)

I have soooo many more, both general and ones for specific AU’s I have, and I’m always happy to share them!!! Thank you for asking and letting me infodump <3

[kimnjss]

you weren’t kidding abt hobi being awkward af 😭 guy was highkey outshined by his friends. mostly because he barely spoke to yn 🥲 like sir, imma need you to get it together nd shoot your shot! shiiit, cin was mostly the one doing all the talking to yn. probably was abt to buy herself or joon a dance from our girl ✨ i really liked how yn made hobi sweat when she was deciding who she wanted to give a dance to, boi deserved it! 🙄 literally did the same thing he did last time, just stared at her without saying a word! i hope his friends nd cin clown tf outta him 😂 anyways 😵‍💫 cin nd jk fucked!? cin out here living her best life that we all want 😭 married to joon, gave yoongi head nd a kiss on the cheek nd sleeping w jk? cin can i be added to the list? 😩😂 loved this update a lot!!

he’s so awkwarddd ! if it wasn’t for cin ., he would’ve just spent the night gawking at her - was already setting up to buy all her drinks nd not doing anything else !! thank god for cin . bc those boys were more interested in teasing him over anything else 😭😭 ! nd ofc yn had to play with him a little bit ! his friends were being so obvious nd the way he was acting all stressed like it was possible she wouldn’t pick him?? they’re gonna be so cute when they get together trust me 🥺🥺🥺 esp with how shy he is nd how yn is way too bold for her own good ! it’s gonna be soo messy between them 💀 we already knew cin was tHAT BITCH™️ - buut ! she would’ve told joon once he asked abt ittt ., so we can trust that her friend is actually his boss 👀 there’s so many layers to what jungkook does thooo ! so keep an eye out for those little hints !

[chiefsawyer]

Full Name: Elaine Jean Sawyer

Nickname(s): Laine, Lainey, EJ, Baby bird/Bird

DOB: July 24th

Female; she/her; straight?

Height: 5'4’’

Hair color: Red

Eye color: Blue

Tattoos: None

Piercings: Ears; two on each of her lobes

Language(s): English, a moderate amount of Spanish, some French, and fluent in ASL

Occupation: Chief of Staff at Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital ( formerly a General Surgeon who found a love for business and evil )

Relationship Status: Married to Donovan Lewis

Summary:

tw: death, mental illness ( schizophrenia mention ) manipulation 

- Elaine grew up a sweet little redhead and then some things went down with her mom, who struggled with paranoid schizophrenia. When her mom had a bit of a break and scooped Elaine out of bed in the middle of the night, convinced that Elaine's father and brothers were conspiring against Elaine and her mother, and that they weren't safe at home and needed to get far away and proceeded to drive Elaine across the country. Elaine ofc was down for the roadtrip with her mom, her bestie. After a few weeks of Elaine and her mother being reported missing, when they were found by police, her father had her mother admitted to a full time care facility and Elaine's lack of understanding the entire situation made her real angry at her dad ( she uses her mom's maiden name as her last name, Sawyer, and has since the incident when she was 6 ). Given that she was the youngest of 5 kids and the gap between her and her next sibling was 10 years, her now single dad ended up dragging her all around with him and she went to too many poker nights with him so between her tiny child rage over missing her mom and not understanding anything except for the poker games, blossomed a love for learning how to be deceitful, perceptive, and berry toxic. She was ( and still is ) very good at such might we add.

- She kept being toxic through life and would basically just get close with her dads friends/her teachers/mentors through college/medschool and then hold those relationships/interactions/boinking against them ( BUT she did meet Donovan during her internship and he was the first person in power who gave her enough respect to build a fun/wink wink/goofy friendship with and really never abused his power against her shoutout Don ) to get ahead and then eventually married one of those mentors bc he was kinda chill but then he passed away due to a small medical issue that escalated and his death DEFINITELY was not manipulated/caused by Elaine ( shhhh ) but he left her lots of money and his kids, her stepchildren, are literally her age and they’re pretty chill so probably felt at least a little bad tampering with his life/playing god but it’s fine bc she took his job and was HBIC in her department for a minute. After her husband passed away, she also reconnected with Donovan for a money-related deal and they were married for one year in order to help Don get inheritance money and they split the fat check but after a year she felt obligated to absolutely bounce back to work focused crazy bitch.

- Miss ma’am ended up getting pretty bored so she continued being toxic and making friends/getting close with people and learning things about them to get ahead ( she really boinked her way up to the top ok ) and would subtly threaten/blackmail those people to get ahead and boy did she and then she met another husband and he was really cool but he had a big bad air about him and she WAS NOT here to be arm candy so she was like time for my biggest magician act yet and through some connections knew about SGMW and had some dirt on the chief there ( an NPC for the sake of writing ) and basically hopped on a redeye and threatened the chief with some dirt. Her husband found out about the threatening, he was friends with the chief, and was like ma’am if you do this I’m leaving you no cap and Elaine was like bestie the divorce papers are on the kitchen counter checkmate my brother and she also had boatloads of dirt against husband and wrote up a heinous divorce contract with her lawyer that screwed him so bad so she got lots of money in the divorce too hehehe

- Anyways chief was like mkay you win and basically stepped down for ‘personal reasons’ and she was their first pick ( duh ) for replacement and she nailed her interview because even though she doesn’t play fair, she does a good job at what she does career-wise and now she’s here vibing and kind of relaxing because being toxic is tiring I guess? She’s a pretty chill lady but kinda rude/doesn’t let people get very close to her because over her dead body would you get dirt on her. But she’ll take all the gossip and secrets and loves playing therapist for her own gain honestly and that is all 

[namjoohyuk]

I always find your thoughts and opinions interesting so I thought I could ask this. What do you think about exo’s group dynamic and what’s your opinion on all of them ? I hope you don’t mind this ask

omg wow i’m so flattered honestly bc i never think my opinions are interesting so thank you 😭🤍

idk how clear i can be bc my feelings towards exo and their members have changed so much tbh. so i’ve basically been a fan since 2014-2015, and looking back i think their group dynamic was misconstrued. mind you, they were the no. 1 group back then and ouhh, they were hated. being an sm group, along with the exo-m controversies, i think all the shit they had to deal with made them grow closer. they were already friends, but ofc there were certain cliques within the group. but i think they’re much closer now. I think people have this perception of them being co-workers is bc they have other friend groups, can socialize, and are able to produce successful solo work, and kpop fans who love the brotherhood/sisterhood of kpop feel threatened by that. but genuinely i think they all love each other and as much as i am a bitch for saying that exo would be fine if suho and chen left, i feel like they all have a part and fit in the group really well (even tao, lay and luhan). i really love them.

as for the members. let me tell you, i love them now but i hated most of them at one point 😭 i started off as a kai girl and would go to bat for him. most of them would pick on him and say really colourist shit to him, which was sooo shocking to me bc he didn’t look any different from others. baekhyun and chen were no. 1 on my shitlist. i always enjoyed kyungsoo and tao tho. the others, i eventually warmed up to them. suho—i kinda shit on him for not being up to par vocally or dance-wise, but he’s an amazing leader, and really the glue to exo. he was supposed to debut with shinee which is crazy to think. he was meant for exo. xiumin—a king. love him nothing bad to say about him. chen—don’t love him. or his vocals. i try to ignore him lol. i do feel bad for him for getting shitted on for being married and a father tho. baekhyun—best vocalist. kinda arrogant but he’s allowed to be. amazing solo work. it took me awhile to warm up to him but he’s great. his stans are the worst tho. chanyeol—my man!!!!!! love him! he’s super charismatic. can sing, act. i like his raps idc idc. kyungsoo—the best idol turned actor. love him. he minds his business. kai—i can write a whole thinkpiece on kai but truly an it-boy. a real performer. had the best solo debut of exo. a FUNCLE!!!!! sehun—love him too!! really watched him grow up. tho i do think he gets harassed about his sexuality too much. lay—great performer!!! a little arrogant too tho kdkdkfk. tao—i loved him. he was my fave after kai. luhan—i didn’t get to know much about him. terrible solo stuff tho. kris—hope he dies.

hope this answered your question 🤍

[vneuns]

— “CHAOTIC DONOS” + Hcs

author's note(s): it's 2 am im tired and need a shower but by the time you see this i'll be in my bed after having a nice shower and everything

cw warnings: light cursing, and anything else i can't think of rn

Dream

y/ntookdream donated $250 !

tell chat about the time you ate all of my sushi. I'm still upset about that, just so you know.

it’d start off as a joke-

you randomly donating large amounts of money to your boyfriend when he was streaming mostly because you couldn’t be in the room with him because of how much you were a distraction

and then it became a routine

in the random times he’d stream, you’d join and call him out on something new

“No, I'm not telling them about that. suck it.”

y/ntookdream donated $300 !

piss baby. chat. your streamer isn’t taking accountability for his actions and needs to be canceled.

“gu- chat! what the hell you fucking traitors don’t side with them. I didn't do anything wrong.”

y/ntookdream donated $350 !

chat, don't listen to him. I love you. get this trending on twitter to end his career

“you know what. new limits 1,000 dollars y/n go do some work.”

y/ntookdream donated $1,000 !

haha can’t get rid of me b word. i finished my work already cLaYtOn

the chat always finds it amusing when the two of you start going at it like this

“they’re crazy chat.” he sighed as he went back to running around the smp

after a few moments of silence dream was certain he got rid of you until he got another text to speech dono

y/ntookdream donated $2000 !

i’m back my bank tried stopping me from giving my money to my own boyfriend. can you believe that chat? who do they think they are?

“babe stop giving me money.”

the chat would ofc break out in awhs whenever you two used nicknames on each other because why wouldn’t they

y/ntookdream donated $5000 !

more you say?

“okay stream i’m ending it here before y/n dumps out their life savings.”

George

y/nfoundgeorge donated $100 !

hungry

“then go eat something.”

y/nfoundgeorge donated $200 !

idk what to eat. chat halp.

and then chat does

they just start spamming common american foods despite you living in the uk with george

y/nfoundgeorge donated $600 !

besties we don’t have burgers and fries here. shut your american butts up.

“okay n/n that’s enough.”

and then he has to set the donos to a thousand as well, in attempts to stop you

y/nfoundgeorge donated $1,000 !

never. chat you suck

george shakes his head smiling as he rolls his eyes

y/nfoundgeorge donated $ 1,500 !

Look at my pretty pretty boyfriend all cute and s word

His face heats up as he pretends to not see the dono and take this moment to self promo

“At least i'm getting the money- while you're at it, subscribe and prime now”

Sapnap

y/nsapsbeloved donated $500 !

Just got finished playing valorant feeling like a bad bitch

“Thats my sexc partner-”

y/nsapsbeloved donated 800 !

Shut the f up. Okay be quite

Chat is eating this interaction up ofc since the two of you are always acting like strangers near each other

y/nsapsbeloved donated 900 !

Omg we’re making our way to the thousand mark omg chat so exciting

“Y/n quit donating or i swear to god i'll make you sleep on the couch

Quackity

y/ninity donated $ 450 !

I miss you stop streaming

Quack would laugh and roll his eyes

“I just started streaming and you’re acting like we didn’t see each other five minutes ago

y/ninity donated $ 700 !

Okay and what about it

So then he’s forced to play along

“Guys im SO famous- i could use this money to buy a taylor swift concert ticket”

y/ninity donated $ 1,000 !

Wow is taylor donoing to you? Didn't think so

And now he’s worried

Do you know about his plan to get married to taylor swift after her first concert in La

Karl

y/njacobs donated $ 370 !

Come give me a kiss pls

“Why didn’t you just text me babe?”

y/njacobs donoated $ 450 !

Too much work

Not wanting you to keep donating a shit load of money he gets up goes in the other room and just snatches the phone from your hand

“Wha-what are you-”

And then the next thing you know it’s in his pants

“Thats TOS if you take it out”

Wilbur

wilbursy/n donated $ 560 !

Hi babe <3

First time you donate its very cute and hes like aweee

wilbursy/n donated $ 1,000 !

Love me m...f

Then second time he's not having it

He would then tackle you while everyone is clueless on stream

“AHH!”

And then he comes back with a phone in hand with a very strong grip and you try to wiggle it out and hes just streaming as usual like nothings happening

Quackity and tommy just on call questioning everything

“So how’s everyones day?”

“WIL GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK!”

@heyskeppy @inniterhq @basilly @yamturds @dysfunctionalcrab @siriushxney @sqpnap @tinyegg @ttakinou @charnease @o-0i @i-mmunity @b3l0v3ds @alice-blue-skies @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @mitzimania

@acidtabletz

[versadies]

Hello! Can i request scaramouche x reader with bunny ears and tail fluff?

scaramouche with gn!bunny hybrid!adventurer!reader

penpal: hope you don’t mind me making this into a scenario hc of where the reader is a badass person!

warning/s: ooc scaramouche (?), scaramouche being a lil shit, swearing, suggestive theme from one sentence (* wink wink nudge nudge *)

sypnosis: what it’s like for scaramouche to be with a badass reader, who has bunny ears and tail.

note: reader is gn and a badass adventurer

-> scaramouche heard winds of a certain traveler who doesn’t hesitate in bringing down fatui agents and take their insignias away. obviously he thought this “certain traveler” was the infamous honorary knight so he didn’t bother.

-> however while on his way to the qingce village to investigate the meteors that puts people to deep slumber, he came across to an innocent-looking person walking around guili plains. at first the man was supposed to walk up to you in his fake persona and asked about the meteors - but then he saw treasure hoarders surrounding you.

-> might as well play a hero too, scaramouche thought with an annoyed sigh before running towards you.

-> what happened next shocked him.

-> as soon as one of the hoarders tries to attack you, you suddenly started fighting them, surprising the harbinger. scaramouche stood nearby as he watches you kick ass against the treasure hoarders, bringing one by one down until no one but you stands.

-> what made it even more surprising was the fact that you weren’t using a vision at all nor a weapon.

-> the moment you were finished, scaramouche was clapping while laughing in amusement, catching your attention. “and here i thought i’d have to save you from them—”

-> “stand down, harbinger.”

-> eh? scaramouche stopped clapping, looking at you with furrowed eyebrows. “excuse me?” he asked.

-> “i know who you are, balladeer. i won’t hesitate to bring you down like what happened to your subordinates.” you explained.

-> and here my friends is when scaramouche, the 6th of the harbingers, is hooked.

-> at first, it’s just scaramouche secretly stalking you around whilst investigating on the meteors, mainly because you’re the only thing that made his trip more interesting. call him impressed or fascinated by the fact that you managed to bring down many of his subordinates without a vision.

-> it’s not until when you decided to confront the cheeky bastard and threaten him to tell you why he’s been stalking you. it will take scaramouche a longass time to convince you that he means no harm and won’t hurt you (not yet at least). you’d give in and be like “fine you can come along with me as long as you don’t try to kill me in my sleep”

-> i’d honestly think you two would have an amusing relationship. with scaramouche tagging along trying to find out information about you (since his poor subordinates failed to do so) while you annoyingly have to suffer with his company.

-> of course he’d only tag along to your adventures if you’re somehow around the area while he’s busy investigating on the meteors.

-> if you’re also investigating on the meteors (due to commission purposes), scaramouche won’t tell shit about what he knows. you’re not part of the fatui and he knows the tsaritsa won’t be happy if she finds out that he’s been hanging out with the person who’s been beating the shit out of her people. besides, the last thing he wants is his investigation being intervened.

-> i can guarantee you that he’ll never stop asking to touch your ears just because it looks fluffy. unless you tell him that you’re uncomfortable with him always asking to touch it, then he’ll stop. he may be an asshole but he knows when to stop.

-> as soon as he stops asking about your ears though, he’ll immediately go to asking questions about your bunny features - he’ll be like “do you eat like them? does your nose do those twitching stuff like they do?” trust me, he gets more annoying than he already is to you.

-> what will make him want to be close with you is when he finds out that you’re a loner too. either because you always go one place to another or because you dislike people is up to you, either way, he’ll relate to being alone.

-> scaramouche doesn’t even know why he wants to tag with someone like you and you don’t know why you let one of the most dangerous people to be with you instead of making him go away. (they’re in love, your honor)

-> when he realizes that he loves you is when you first laughed at him when he accidentally got hit by a branch. just seeing you laugh made him notice that weird feeling in his stomach that’s been bothering him ever since you came around. he wants this feeling though so he’ll try to get more of it. though he won’t embarrass his own ass just to make you laugh, he can do other ways that doesn’t hurt his pride.

-> he’ll find your instincts from your bunny side endearing. just seeing your ears go up at the sudden sounds of the bushes nearby moving and look around just separates your usual demeanor.

-> this man will lose his shit if you pull an “innocent” move on him. like, if you try to act like “i didn’t do anything wrong though 🥺”, he will lose his mind because what the fuck stop that shit, that’s kinda hot - not as hot as you kicking ass though.

-> ofc bickering is a thing between you two - though your reasons aren’t that much serious. a lot of people would think you’re like an old married couple from bickering much to you two’s embarrassment.

-> not much is different when you two are dating, other than the fact that he’s more expressive? or perhaps shyly affectionate. he’ll lowkey hold your hand and be like “my hands are cold, let me hold yours to keep it warm or whatever 🙄”

-> he’s also your “cheerleader” when kicking treasure hoarders’ asses. what i mean by him being your cheerleader, i mean by him cackling and making fun of your opponents as you beat the shit out of them. it’s his way of showing support i suppose.

-> you have never seen scaramouche in action. like, you never saw him using his vision or what he’s like in the fatui. he never speaks of it. either because you didn’t ask or because he doesn’t want to talk about it is still a mystery because you didn’t bother asking. you’ll probably have to be persistent if you’re curious about his line of work and want to hear from him about it.

-> either way, i don’t think he’ll ever explain it. that doesn’t mean he hates you, he just doesn’t want you to be involved with something such as the fatui and he very much does not want you to beat another fatui agent due to the fact it can bring you trouble by the tsaritsa - and you both are very aware that he’ll kill you if the tsaritsa wishes him to do so. and that is the last thing he wants, his lover’s blood in his hands.

-> anyways, more on your bunny ears and tail - he will laugh evilly if someone immediately assumes you’re an innocent person because you and him definitely know that ain’t true (especially in bed 😉). you’ve gotten used to people constantly thinking you are helpless or prey-like due to your kind while that shit annoys scaramouche a lot cause like wow how judgmental of them... just wait till my bby fucks their shit up 😇

-> let’s not forget your strong legs. you are scary as fuck with your legs. you can knock people down just by one slam from one of your legs and scaramouche be like i wonder what it’s like to be wrapped by those legs—

-> you also do that stomping when mad or upset, it’s the only thing that confirms scaramouche whenever he thinks you’re mad or upset because you always have that rest bitch face that he can’t tell if you’re serious or just chilling.

-> oh and whenever a fatui agent comes up to the harbinger while he’s hanging out with you, rip to them because the only thing they’ll see is his wrath. he’ll literally make you go somewhere else and then start being aggressive to the agent for ruining his time with his favorite person.

[shadow--writer]

Hey, I love your writing! Could you do the MC proposing ask, but with the other 3 characters (asra, muriel, and lucio)? Tysm ^_^

I would be thrilled to! So sorry this took so long I had completed most of it and then gasp NO MOTIVATION >:V

But here it is my love! I’m so glad you love my writing, it makes me so happy to have people enjoy my works! I’ve recently started buying Asra’s route and dragging myself back into the game haha. (the paid choices in their route make everything so much BETTER OMFG)

Requests are still open as well! Please make sure look at my rules lol, three characters MAX! :D

Asra, Muriel and Lucio x MC proposing 

~~~~

Asra

Dead silence for like a straight few minutes. They’re just staring at you with their mouth hanging open

Yeah you’re starting to get a little worried

Did he like...clock out? 

Then he just lights up and tackles you in a hug

The two of you go FLYING. Landing hard which, ouch, but you’re laughing too hard to care 

They’re TRYING to kiss you but with the big grin on their face it isn’t going well for them at ALL

Kissing all of your face, making you giggle

The amount of times they’ve repeated “I love you” while kissing you so softly has you dizzy 

uh yeah he forgets to say yes

Like every one of these morons. He’s too busy crying and holding you like if he let go he’d wake up

but he turns bright red when he remembers he forgot to

ya know

answer you

ofc he says yes. Yadda yadda they're bawling their eyes out again 

More kisses. All over your face, each exposed skin he can get to is getting a kiss goddamnit. 

All the love in his heart and yours is just spilling over as they press their forehead against yours and whisper ‘I love you’

Muriel

uh yeah u broke him. Muriel.exe has stopped responding 

This bitch looks over his shoulder to make sure u weren’t talking to another Muriel you were hopelessly in love with

Nope ur proposing to him 

Annnnnd he’s broken again. Great. Job well done 

oh so slowly he’s gonna start smiling, a little quirk of his lips, to full on grinning as he starts crying 

Little tears then he’s sobbing and laughing because holy SHIT he loves you so fucking much

SWEEPS YOU OFF YOUR FUCKING FEET!

Kisses you so hard all you feel his him and the joy bubbling up will be chef’s fucking kiss let me ASSURE you

Spins you around, holding you like if he let’s go he’ll wake up from a dream 

Of course when he realizes what he’s doing he’ll let out a little wheeze, and turn brightass red

As if you just didn’t,,,,,tell him you wanted to spend your life with him 

Will kiss the tip of your nose softly 

He’s the only one who doesn’t forget to say yes right away love that for him

Gonna hold your hand for the REST of the day. No sir he’s not lettin you go nuh ah

Lucio

Lmao his mind is gonna play wii music for like five minutes straight right after your whole spiel

mhmmm mhmmm you might’ve just killed him on the spot nice going there my friend 

He’s gonna faint if you don’t catch him idk why it’s not like he wasn’t married BEFORE

Dumbass really looks you dead in your fucking eyes and goes: “really? Really really?”

....yes really really 

Also forgets to say yes in the midst of having you dip kiss him 

Is he heavy? Absolutely. Is it worth it? Definitely.

Don’t let him take that kiss places without getting an answer he will be MORTIFIED if he never even fucking said yes

Which he does say

Eventually 

You’re very distracting you know 

He also smudged his eyeliner from crying lmao

Hugs you so hard your ribs crack, knocking you over with another kiss as he says yes

He’s gonna be all sunshine and rainbows for the rest of the day, lighting up each time he remembers you proposed. And he will not shut the fuck up about it lmfao 

[yuuhta]

pairing: okkotsu yuuta/reader

genre: fluff

short description: okkotsu yuuta as a boyfriend hcs (contains spoilers)

warnings: none, just slight cursing

ok first of all, oh my fucking gosh...... he is very very VERY sweet and caring, sometimes you get worried you might just melt with the amount of love he gives you!!!

boy loves you a LOT

AND yes our shy boy yuuta can sometimes be unknowingly very clingy!!

sometimes when you're both just chilling on the stairs beside the school's track field, he'll pull you by the waist and then lean his head on top of yours as he rub random circles with his other hand on your palm.

or when u two r just chilling on his/your bed, he'll play with ur hair or he'll wrap his legs around yours to lock your body with his and he loves staying in that position!!!!!

he loves feeling ur breath on his skin whenever u're wrapped around each other, it never failed to comfort him/put a gentle and soft smile on his face :""")

YES YES HE LOVES CUDDLES OH MY GOSH

IS HE CUTE OR IS HE CUTE????

and when the other three r there seeing u both flirt, they’re like 😳🤮😦 what is this soft pda we r witnessing here rn

k i might have overused the word "sometimes" there but it's true, he's not rlly clingy all the time!!!!!

HE'S V THOUGHTFUL UGHHH (yuuta is setting the standard here ok!! strong and powerful sorcerer but really sweet and kind boyfriend shfsjjffGjK BITCH WHO WOULDN'T WANT HIM!!!!)

he would often bring you your favorite food, esp when u say u're hungry!!!! he'll definitely rush to your fave restaurant right away just to get you some food ❤❤ :((

and like, b4 u two had ur first kiss, OF COURSE he asked u first if's ok with u!!!! he didn’t just uncontrollably launched himself to u (which was totally OKAY with u even if he did lmaoo he’s just too precious pls) (honestly u’re the more aggressive one in here....)

he’s submissive in general BUT NGL if u want him to take control of things HE WOULD TAKE CONTROL I'M TELLING U

ok but tbh he's actually very clueless when it comes to romance..... he might have made promises to marry a childhood friend back then when they were KIDS but honestly, other than that, he's got no other experience with dating.... or romance, in general.

speaking about childhood friends, he would often reassure you that he's over rika!!! you don't really bring it up but he KNOWS it would sometimes cross your mind (esp when he still wore the ring rika gave him, even after you two started dating (u only started dating yuuta after the curse was broken !!!) ...... the amount of reassurance he gave you just to make sure u aren't bothered by it is just :_) ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤)

ok it's not like you're some v possessive bitch who thinks rika, who has already passed away, can still steal yuuta from you. u know v well that yuuta has moved on already.

it's just that the bond they shared over the couple of years, before the curse has been broken, is different. it's definitely not your typical childhood friends kinda trope.

the circumstances here r totally different !! if it was just a normal childhood friends trope, it would've been a bit easier to weave though. BUT yeah, after what happened and all, ofc it's impossible for him to just suddenly erase rika in his brain. it's not like u’re forcing him to do that, u don’t even bring the topic up but yeah

he just simply reassures u that he is over rika and that's that.

he tells u that even if rika was still alive, and then he met you, he would choose you, and that he was sure of it.

u wanted to tell him that it was unnecessary for him to tell u that but if u were being honest, that really did cross ur mind. u thought that if rika was still alive, maybe ur relationship with yuuta would turn out differently.

u didn't really feel v bothered by the thought bcs it was pointless to think abt that now, but still, the thought still came to your mind and yuuta just made sure that u know he loves u so much.

ANYWAY ur relationship is very healthy!!!! the two of u have a rule to always communicate if something's bothering the other.

IN THIS RELATIONSHIP the fear of speaking out doesn't exist OK!!!!

yes the TRUST u both have on each other is just very big!!

so yea yuuta going abroad doesn't mean y'all r going to break up!!!!! it's not even permanently, just for a short amount of time. u miss him a lot and he misses u too but him going abroad temporarily doesn't rlly mean u'll both lose feelings bcs of the distance!!!!

as for u two, the heart just grew fonder :")

so anyways as mentioned above, HE IS CLUELESS ABT DATING!!!!!

he's really just so sweet and IS A BIG GENTLEMAN so he seems like he's v knowledgeable about dating bcs of that

but yea whew.... he knows u love him a lot but he DOES NOT realize the things that he can make u feel......

LIKE HE ABSOLUTELY HAS NO IDEA ABT THE POWER HE HAS OVER U

HE CAN LITERALLY ASK FOR THE WORLD AND U'LL TRY TO GIVE IT TO HIM !!!

ok big simp alert big simp alert 🚨🚨🚨🚨

shjdjshh DAMN THIS PRECIOUS BOY

he seems like a quiet and timid person, but when hanging out with you, he actually talks A LOT!!!

and is super enthusiastic abt it !!!! LIKE when a person really seems interested in a conversation ???? IYKYK

he's definitely the opposite of a dry texter

sometimes he can unintentionally reply v late bcs he's not really someone who checks his phone much but when u actually send him a chat and he's holding his phone, the two of you can go on hours just chatting about random topics!!!!

and y'all know that the students stay in a dorm, right????

yuuta would greet u good morning and good night in person !!!!!

if he can't say it in person (like, if you or him went out on a mission early), he would just text u or call u :")

ALSO HE SAYS “I LOVE YOU” A LOT

AAHHHHHHH PRECIOUS BOY INDEED INDEED!!!

my heart????? yes yuuta maybe u can take it ???

he was v shy at first and even struggled at pronouncing the three words but now that he's way more comfortable with u,, HE SAYS I LOVE YOU EVEN AT RANDOM TIMES

AND IT CAN CATCH U OFF GUARD !!!!! DAMN U'RE ONLY HUMAN OK U GET WEAK SOMETIMES TOO

he will randomly knock at ur door around 2am, still groggy from just waking up, just to tell u to go to sleep !!

he knows when u're still awake!!!! bcs u often stay up late just to watch or read some stuff, he just knows if u’re still at it

he says sleeping late isn't good for u

and since u're a gOoD girl, u try to go to sleep, but now you're on bed with your eyes wide opened, thinking abt yuuta.....

i mean who wouldn't think abt him after he just made u go to sleep bcs he thinks it's not healthy for u

the concern makes u feel GIDDY every damn time

lucky HOE

so anw u would sometimes go to his room just to give him some food or some sweets, or to just hang out tbh

and every time he would open the door and see u, his face would TOTALLY LIGHT UP !!

honestly simple basic stuff like this definitely warms his heart!!!!

LOVES HUGS :”) bYE

whenever u play with his hair or scratch on his scalp lightly, he would MELT

this guy is such a sucker for affection u have no idea

you're such an intoxicating presence for him and he loves u so much

SO ofc ofc u give him all the love and affection !!!!

yuuta wasn't really as confident as he is now compared to the the start of ur relationship

he just got bolder as time passed but he used to be such a shy boy

as i said he can be v clingy!! but sometimes, he would still get flustered when u would suddenly hold his hand or peck him on the cheek or lips !!!!

ok so in general, he would get flustered whenever he's not the one initiating the affection.... such a cutie oh my beloved

he doesn’t really use endearing nicknames a lot and prefers to call u by ur name BUT U DON’T CARE

THE WAY UR NAME WOULD ROLL OUT OF HIS LIPS IS JUST......... HEART EYES

on the other hand, u would sometimes use some really sweet nickname for him like "beloved" or "sweetheart" and tbh yuuta gets flustered when u do so dhkshdskjd but YEA y'all both just call each other by the name usually bcs it just hits different IYKYK OK

OTL IS HE THE MOST PRECIOUS BOYFRIEND EVER OR IS HE THE MOST PRECIOUS BOYFRIEND EVER

overall, u're in a very healthy, genuine, and wholesome relationship with okkotsu yuuta!!! he’s a very adorable, gentle, loving and caring boyfriend <3 pls protecc at all cost (even if he doesn’t rlly need protection ksdfjskj)

[timefospookies]

Random FNAF AU things lol >:))

- Elizabeth has a lisp (Michael used to make fun of her for it)

- Her classmates would also tease her about it and Michael would threaten to beat them up (he would say something like “I’m the only one allowed to be mean to her, bitches >:(“)

- Elizabeth is very outgoing but she doesn’t have many friends since the kids think she’s too much of a stickler for the rules and a teacher’s pet

- Michael does in fact have a watermelon gum obsession and is chewing it all the time

- Michael chews gum when he’s stressed :]

- (Yes he’s stressed all the time)

- Also Mike is Bi :]

- Michael only lets a few people call him Mike or Mikey. If you’re not close, then you can only call him Michael otherwise he’ll stare you down

- He has this death glare that he gives people when he’s angry/annoyed at them and it’s really scary ngl 😭

- He gets it from his father :(

- Crying Child and Michael liked to draw together a lot when they were younger and still got along

- Michael kept all the drawings safe in a certain locked box we all hate so passionately

- He also keeps all the items that remind him of good times or the people he loves (pictures of his family minus William ofc, one of Elizabeth’s bows, Psychic Friend Fredbear, etc) inside that box

- Michael is still very short tempered as an adult but has been working on it

- He’s also severely sleep deprived (due to night terrors) and has a coffee addiction

- Crying Child’s name is Evan Kelsey cuz I couldn’t decide on which name to give him and I liked both </3

- Evan Kelsey is selectively mute and Elizabeth can understand him the best (twin telepathy/j)

- Oh yeah also Elizabeth and Evan Kelsey are twins (not identical though)(both are 10 in 1983)

- William is a dick (but that’s common knowledge)

- William hates the smell of coffee and refuses to drink it (he prefers tea lmfao 🇬🇧)

- He likes humiliating people because he thinks it’s entertaining :/

- He studied Theater and also did theater in Highschool

- Because of that he thinks the entire world is a stage and life is a performance lmfao. He wants to give himself an interesting show and that’s why he messes with people, if that makes sense?

- He has this fucking smirk he’ll give you when he’s winning that makes you want to punch him in the nose

- He’s actually surprisingly strong though so that might not be the best idea

- He tries to be this elegant and charming and gentleman-like and shit but it’s all so he can manipulate you later

- *William in the Springbonnie suit after getting cornered by the souls of the kids he’s killed* “I don’t think I can gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss my way outta this one”

- Anyway image and reputation is very important to him so he tries to control his entire family so that they’re the Perfect Role Model FamilyTM

- This puts a lot of pressure on the kids, especially Elizabeth. Michael sort of gave up and Evan Kelsey isn’t very aware of if cuz he doesn’t care, but Elizabeth really wants her father to love her so she does all of these extra curricular activities to make him proud

- She gets a lot of praise for this. Michael does get a little jealous since he was like her when he was younger and still craves for his father’s attention

- Evan Kelsey doesn’t really like William. He’s the only one who can see through his “charming persona”, but he doesn’t think much of it

- Mrs. Afton’s name in my AU is Jolene Schmidt

- Mrs. Afton has a coffee addiction (we know who Michael got that from) but is still tired all the time </3

- She has comphet :(

- She’s trying to convince herself that if she’s married to a man for long enough she’ll eventually become attracted to them

- She doesn’t really like William all that much, but she married him because he showed interest and because everyone in her class seemed to love him

- (Neither of the love each other btw, William just got married to her so he could have his Perfect Role Model FamilyTM)(Same with why he had kids)

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this