#both movies made me cry multiple times during the film

[grilledcheese-savage]

Both won the award of having simultaneously the best, most depressing marvel movies of the decade

[goingroguepod]

Things from the second draft* of Rogue One that are worth mentioning

*for starters, Chris Weitz wrote more than one draft (just like Gary Whitta probably did) but these are some of the changes he made when he took over writing duties on Rogue One:

Everyone dies.

Literally the first thing Weitz said after reading Whitta's draft was "I think everyone needs to die", which director Gareth Edwards (and first writer Gary Whitta) wanted to do, but assumed would never be approved by Disney. But Kathleen Kennedy agreed and the Everyone Dies ending of Rogue One was set in stone from early 2015 (I've seen a lot of people say this was a late change, even as late as last draft/Tony Gilroy - nah, it was the second draft)

2) Jyn was still a rebel commander, but she had baggage - she was a deserter in one draft, and a scavenger in another. This had to be dropped when they were finally allowed to see the script for Episode VII and discovered Rey was a scavenger.

3) Cassian was still a traitor, but Weitz gave him a justification - Saw Gerrera had killed some of his people, so he was feeding information to the Empire on the condition he got to kill Saw (or at least got to see Saw dead). This would have probably made his and Jyn's relationship more complicated too, since Jyn was raised by Saw, but they did still have a relationship in Weitz's draft**

4) Chirrut and Baze were originally a Force Priest and a murderer was a "weird, symbiotic, possibly co-dependant" relationship. Baze did the murdering, and Chirrut forgave him.

5) Bodhi was also added as the team's pilot - in the previous draft, the U-wing was Jyn's ship that she piloted herself (and Whitta had cut the team's original pilot Ria Talla), but as the script became more of an ensemble piece and Galen's rescue was moved to the second act, they needed both a pilot and an imperial defector.

6) The mission to Scarif involved Jyn and Cassian crossing the battlefield with the stolen plans to get to a second transmission tower to get the plans up to the Rebel Fleet. This is where all the trailer footage of Jyn and Cassian fighting on the beaches comes from. It was later cut from time/simplicity, moving the transmission dish to the main tower.

7) Chris Weitz wrote a "Space Hannibal Lecter" scene between Jyn and the Bor Gullet, Saw's octopus creature, which in Weitz's draft had dialogue. It was a much bigger character that fed off memories and traded information to Jyn in exchange for details of her traumatic childhood. This was a way to get Jyn, a relatively stoic character, to actually talk about her past.

What's really wild to me is that this was technically the shooting script. Weitz worked on the script up until cameras rolled in London, meaning a decent chunk of this script was shot (although multiple uncredited rewrites happened during shooting). You can learn more about Weitz's script in Episode II of the podcast, and more about the uncredited rewrites in Episode III yes this was all an ad for my podcast please listen if you're stanning Rogue One on Tumblr the ending of the final ep should actually make you cry***

** Weitz has said that he finds the lack of romantic subplot between Jyn and Cassian in the final film "refreshing", although he also said he wouldn't be surprised if a version of the ending with a kiss was filmed.

***it got my editor teary and he doesn't even like the movie.

[imagitory]

Just for the record, guys? I've seen the new Haunted Mansion movie multiple times now, and it's really good. Like -- really good. It's like the filmmakers took into account all of the problems I had with the Eddie Murphy film after my mum and I first saw it in theaters back in 2003 while working on their project.

In the Eddie Murphy film, I felt like just about everyone -- excluding the actors playing Edward Gracey and the butler -- were miscast. The child actors weren't that great, the two servant ghosts weren't that memorable (aside from Wallace Shawn reminding me of Vizzini the entire time), Jennifer Tilly as Madame Leota was as terrible of a casting choice as Kristen Chenowith playing Maleficent (sorry, Descendants fans, but -- what??), and Eddie Murphy himself...yeesh. Worst of all though, the woman playing Eddie Murphy's wife was a wooden plank of an actor, which made it so hard to engage with her when she's arguably one of the most important characters in the narrative.

In this film, just about every single person is perfectly cast. Every last one. Danny DeVito, Rosario Dawson...even Owen Wilson surprised me! Chase Dillon as Travis...that kid is going places, I'm saying it now! LaKeith Stanfield in particular was absolutely stellar: I even cried at one point, watching his performance, when I almost never cry at movies. Even Jared Leto -- who I admittedly don't know if I would've hired, given his history -- wasn't a bad choice, just as an actor. He certainly gave off "unlikable creep" vibes as the Hatbox Ghost -- so hey, I guess we have type casting, at least! I admittedly wouldn't have picked Jamie Lee Curtis to play Madame Leota, but she was still an infinitely better choice than Jennifer Tilly.

In the Eddie Murphy film, it leaned a lot on slapstick and pop culture humor, as opposed to any of the macabre dark comedy that the Haunted Mansion ride is known for. Eddie Murphy's style of humor really just didn't fit in with the tone of the original ride and the objectively beautiful Gothic sets the filmmakers had designed.

Yes, admittedly, the new Haunted Mansion movie uses pop culture references too (often in the form of rather forced product placements), but I won't lie, they still got a chuckle out of me, particularly since they weren't the only source of humor in the film. There were snappy retorts, cynical asides, subverted expectations, and -- of course -- dark humor, on tone with the ride. One rather funny bit ends up involving Ben and Father Kent trying and failing to convince elderly Bruce not to come to the Mansion after the old man says he's having heart surgery the following week, and later on, Bruce gets the particularly macabre one-liner "I'm too old to die!" right as he's being thrown in front of a speeding truck. We have Bruce cracking a joke to offer comfort during a really heartbreaking scene, rather than just to divert attention away from Ben's grief. We even have the rhyming headstones at one point!

The Eddie Murphy film focused way too much on Eddie Murphy's character being a "bad" father for working so much, rather than the way more interesting ghost story about Master Gracey and Elizabeth. We also get almost no references to the Haunted Mansion-canon characters aside from "Master Gracey" and Madame Leota.

In this new film, the backstories and personalities of the human characters tie INTO the story line with the ghosts, rather than distracting from it. Ben's dealing (very badly) with the grief of losing his wife Alyssa, which makes him particularly vulnerable to the Hatbox Ghost's machinations. Gabbie and Travis are similarly coming to grips with the loss of their husband/father. Travis is also having to contend with being the new kid in town and not having any friends while living in this haunted house that makes both things even harder. "Father Kent" gets hired to do an exorcism for Gabbie and Travis, only to get trapped by the ghosts himself, when he's not even a real priest, but he ends up using his own skill for persuasion and his strong emotional intelligence to bring in the other people they need to stop the Hatbox Ghost. Bruce has been obsessed with the lore surrounding the Mansion and similarly haunted houses for years, which makes him a valuable resource for exposition about the Mansion and later about the Hatbox Ghost's backstory. Harriet, as the resident medium, not only serves as the main combatant force against the Hatbox Ghost at the end since she has the power to banish him, but she gives great exposition about how our world fits in with the spirit world and this universe's "rules" about how they relate to each other. I kind of miss any real use of the Ghost Host, and I admittedly don't love this film's interpretation of Constance Hatchaway, since in the ride she's much more greedy and conniving, rather than just a flat-out maniac (plus, I'm sorry, but the story has both a ghost who chops people's heads off and another ghost who lost their head via decapitation and didn't connect their backstories together??) -- but we still have WAY more love for both the Disneyland and Walt Disney World's incarnations of the ride in this film than in its predecessor. There are even references to the creepy wallpaper and the bat-gargoyle stanchions in the queues!

And then there was my biggest gripe with the Eddie Murphy film -- that at the end, the curse is broken and all the little ghosts are "set free," leaving the "Haunted Mansion" largely abandoned. You know -- when the whole POINT of the Haunted Mansion is that it's filled with 999 happy haunts who want to be there? It'd be like ending a Pirates of the Caribbean film with Captain Jack Sparrow joining the Navy! Yeah, screw that -- this new film has their ghosts stay and make themselves comfy alongside their new living residents. Talk about an awesome fantasy for kids -- I would've loved living in a house like this Mansion, full of fun happy haunts who host rocking parties every Halloween!

But yeah -- I wouldn't say this film is perfect, of course...but if you're a fan of the Haunted Mansion ride, and want a film that captures its sense of creepy, Gothic beauty and dark humor without being needlessly gory or graphic, there's a damn good chance you'll love this. I know this movie should've been released in October and it's not really the "spooky time of year" right now, but please consider giving it some support in theaters, where the actors and writers who deserve your love will get a larger piece of the profit pie for their hard work than when films go to streaming.

[acacia-may]

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I got tagged by @library-child in 20 questions for fic writers (thanks for the tag, friend), and I had way too much to say about this topic so I've made it its own post (I'll post answers to the other questions as soon as I can).

Fun fact about me, I majored in Languages at university and have written a few stories with dialogue in multiple languages, so I might be a little biased here, but I think it can be good depending on how it's used and in what context. Writing a multilingual character can be a great way of creating a dynamic, well-rounded character and really pay homage to who they are and their cultural identity.

At the same time, I think that it can be difficult to write a multilingual character in a way that is realistic but also doesn't confuse a reader that doesn't speak all of the languages that appear in the story. It can be difficult to balance how much of another language you can put into your dialogue without losing your reader or without the story suddenly feeling like a language lesson. (Unless of course, that's a major plot point of the story like in my very silly and tongue-and-cheek fic "Everything I Need To Know About Love I Learned From Latin" which actually centered around a Latin grammar lesson).

I think my big feelings on this topic really hinge on how much language swapping there is and the context.

More thoughts under the cut.

In my Horrible Histories: The Movie fanfictions which I mentioned, for instance, Atti speaks both in English and Latin, but it is relevant to the story because the main plot points of these stories often surround breakdowns in communication due to Atti being multilingual and Orla not being able to speak Latin well (or depending on the point in the timeline, much at all). One of the fics is actually called "Lost In Translation" for this reason, and I'd like to talk about it a little bit as an example here.

For those who are unfamiliar with the very funny but very niche Horrible Histories film, it is the story of the unlikely friendship between a brainy but a bit awkward Roman soldier named Atti and a badass Celtic princess named Orla during the Boudican Revolt during the Roman invasion of Britain. There is a really interesting moment in the movie in which Atti sings a song about Orla (and his feelings for her) in the front of the Roman army and they all start crying before cutting him off for being "too soppy." The refrain he sings in English is "I miss you," but in Latin (which is of course, the language he would have actually been singing in given the historical context), this phrase is "Te Desidero" which can also be translated as "I desire you" or "I love you" so the Roman Army is basically hearing him express his undying love for her when Atti is really just intending to sing about them being friends (He loves her too, of course, but that's a different story). In "Lost In Translation," Atti discovers that his army buddies completely misinterpreted his song when, in the future, his daughter learns the song and translates the refrain to "I love you" rather than "I miss you." Here is a short excerpt:

“But Marcus said some of the words are “Te Desidero’”—Camilla’s brow furrowed—"that means ‘I love you’, right?” “Well yes…technically…it can mean…” He stopped. “But a better translation is probably…”  Atti’s voice trailed in an awkward chuckle. Deciding it was best not to explain to his young daughter the nuanced differences between love and desire, he cleared his throat and changed tactics. “Well…it can actually…really mean a lot of things…like…um…‘I miss you’, for instance. And, you know, I think that’s what he meant—just from the context…of the story…They’re friends, of course, but he barely knows the girl—he isn’t ready to profess his love or anything yet….”  “But Marcus said that he really, really, really loved the princess and everybody in the army knew and that’s why they all cried…” “Or…” Atti gestured with his hands. “Here’s a thought that I am sure the soldier never considered at the time but would probably make all of that crying make a lot more sense to him now—um…maybe his entire legion completely misunderstood what he was saying…and he  meant ‘I miss you’ the whole time but everybody else thought that he was singing about…romantic love…”

Clarifying all of this made for (what I hope) is a fun story, and since Atti being multilingual is one of the big plot points of the story, there is a lot of dialogue in Latin in that work.

On the other hand, in other projects I've worked on in which introducing additional languages just serves to flesh out a character or provide background or context to them or their family, I will be much more sparing in my use of code-switching (or switching languages in dialogue). It's also my personal preference to avoid having characters hold entire conversations in languages that are not the main language of the fic (i.e. I wouldn't interrupt a fic that is written in German to have the characters suddenly start conversing in English).

In general (except in the rare occasions in which the story is centered around the use of multiple languages), I personally prefer to save language swapping in stories for the things that are important, meaningful, or special since switching to another language will draw emphasis to that piece of dialogue. I also like including language swaps in small but deeply personal things like terms of endearment (i.e. a character who speaks both Latin and English might use the Latin "Principissa" instead of the English "Princess" as a term of endearment) or family titles (i.e. a character who speaks both Spanish and English might use the Spanish "Abuelito" or "Papá [Character's Name]" rather than the English "Grandpa"). I think that really adds to the story and the characters that are being written about.

A few other thoughts...

I think it is very difficult to write dialogue in a language you are not personally fluent or proficient in. I tend to do all my own translations freehand, and most of the multilingual characters I've written about speak English and Latin (which are my strongest languages). I have written dialogue for other languages (I've actually written an entire fanfiction in German, but I've never posted it anywhere and probably never will 😅), but I have not felt nearly as confident about that as I do not feel as proficient in them personally. I think something important I always try to keep in mind is that different vocabulary words can have different connotations so even if on paper what you're writing supposedly means one thing, it might have different, unintended implications to someone who is fluent in that language and grew up speaking it and/or uses it in everyday life versus learning it in a classroom. For this reason, if I am not entirely confident with my own translations, I will double check with someone who is fluent in that language, if possible. For instance, one of my current projects includes a bilingual character who speaks English and Spanish, and my cousin who is fluent in Spanish has been incredibly helpful: double checking what I write and confirming that I am in fact saying what I want to say, with the implications I want it to have.

Additionally, I think it's important to keep in mind that if you are going to include multiple languages in a story there will be a lot of readers who won't be able to translate what you write on their own and will feed it into an online translator like Google Translate so I always double check how Google Translate would translate my dialogue and make sure it's at least close enough to what it's supposed to be (since Google Translate is rather notoriously inaccurate). I also sometimes will put a glossary in the notes for really important things or will try to have the characters explain enough about what they're saying in the context of the story so the reader isn't left confused or out of the loop.

Overall writing fanfiction is just for fun, and if you feel comfortable including multiple languages in a work, go for it! It can definitely add something to both your story and your characters, but I would just caution prudence and moderation and suggest trying to be mindful of your target audience and making sure that they will be able to get the most out of what you are writing.

Thanks for reading my ramblings! Cheers!! 💖

[tinessensahthe]

Early this morning, before I go to bed, I'm gonna post what is my most widely known project and my first feature-length film that I ever made: "Tobias and the Half-Pariah"!

A widely known, prolific work amongst the older, adult fandom of Thomas the Tank Engine, this was my first truly huge project that I ever undertook. It took 2 years to make this movie, from August 2012 to its eventual release date on August 24, 2014, my move-in day for my freshman year of college.

It is wild, it is crazy, it is edgy, dark, and ridiculous - a very big departure from Thomas the Tank Engine's normal vibe, both in the official show and in most fan content at the time this was released, and even today.

Toby the Tram Engine is a steam-diesel hybrid in this film. His eyes glow blue like in sci-fi anime when he activates the diesel half of his body, and he gets into actual fights with other engines with very heavy, hard-hitting physicality. The story starts out like a slice-of-life storybook, as the original stories did, and then morphs quickly into an action-thriller-drama. The villain is a fan favorite character, Duck the Great Western Engine, here reimagined as a wrathful, deeply insecure weakling. He's a steam engine who used to be a diesel - until he got into an accident with Toby 18 years ago, and his diesel engine was used to make Toby into a hybrid while his consciousness was transferred into a tank engine body. There's even a Lord of the Rings-esque final battle with steam engine and diesel armies squaring off against one another with epic music blaring and a giant fight breaking out! There's even swearing and violent, shocking deaths! Very much within PG-13/12A standards, but still! Everything about this film was, as one reviewer put it, GO BIG OR GO HOME, and that's a pretty apt summary of my mindset making this movie.

So, a very far cry from "normal" Thomas's gentle, quiet storytelling, storybook world that you can get lost in, and dry, biting British wit. I made this on a then-8 year old computer which could barely handle all the work I was making it do. This is a machinima film, and my computer could barely run the program I used, Trainz Railroad Simulator 2009, even at its lowest graphics settings. I often was forced to film footage at sub-10 fps levels and then speed it up in post, often having to account for this while I was filming in terms of blocking, how fast characters moved, how fast the camera moved, and how I would coordinate multiple characters moving on screen at once, interacting with each other, etc. - often all at the same time. That old computer, may she rest well, nearly died on me 4 times during the production of this movie and nearly cost me the entire film, so, yes, this is a real film and I'll hear nothing to the contrary.

Despite all this, though, despite the film's age and all the technical limitations, and my own limitations, I still think the film holds up pretty well. There are definitely some things I would do differently now, but I'm still happy with what I was able to do with this movie, my first ever feature-length film, and if not happy, then at least - content. Satisfied.

Thank you to all who’ve stuck around for the last 9 years! “Arcane Merchant” is finally in post-production, but it’s turning out to be a lot more work than I expected, especially as I don’t have the energy I had when I was a wee 19 year old. I hope I can still make the December 2023 release date, but the good news is, if I can’t release the film for this year, then it will absolutely be released next year. We’ll see.

In the meantime, have a good one folks, and I hope you enjoyed the movie!

[filmnoirfoundation]

ASK EDDIE - February 16, 2023

FNF prez Eddie Muller responds to film noir fan questions fielded by the Foundation's Director of Communications Anne Hockens. In this episode, we discuss this year’s plans for our NOIR CITY film festivals, Bob Dylan’s relationship with noir, foreign noir television shows, heist films, and more. We also comment on this quote from poet, April Bernard, “Noir is romanticism embittered. The life of feeling that has been betrayed leads to the attitude and genre of noir. No one who loves noir is a cynic. Cynics never believed in anything in the first place. People who love noir are disillusioned romantics.”  We wind things up with a discussion of classic era film noir posters and their creators. On the cat front, Emily and Charlotte have their post-breakfast 10-hour powernap. All this week’s questions are listed below the description. Want your question answered in a future episode?

We solicit questions via our monthly newsletters. Sign up for free at https://www.filmnoirfoundation.org/signup.html

Everyone who signs up on our email list and contributes $20 or more to the Film Noir Foundation receives the digital version of NOIR CITY Magazine for a year. Donate here: https://www.filmnoirfoundation.org/contribute.html

This week’s questions:   

1. Have you set dates and locations for future NOIR CITY events in 2023? —Multiple inquiries   

2. Who, would you say was the most creative director of noir during the classic period. Creative in the sense that they could have done much better if the times they were living in didn’t hold them back. —Steve from Exeter NH   

3. Could you please tell me why “77 Sunset Strip” is not available in English to purchase the DVD's? —Jannie   

4. Did the James M. Cain estate ever bring suit against Warner Brothers for plagiarizing “Double Indemnity” when they made “Body Heat”? And, if so, was it settled out of court? —Doug, Silver Spring, MD   

5. The Bob Dylan lexicon is full of film noir and other references. Dylan is both lauded and reviled for this sort of thing. In all of art, what some call theft others call influence. I stand on the side of celebrating influence and would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. —Joe from Suffolk County NY   

6. What has been a revelation to me have been the foreign noirs, whether it be “Narcos” from Colombia, “The Break” from Belgium, or the Nordic noirs like “The Bridge” and “Bordertown”. The most impressive TV show I have ever seen has been the 5 seasons of the Italian series, “Gomorrah. Any comments by either of you on whether you've watched any of these shows? —Bob, the Chicago area   

7. I’m currently reading Evan Puschak’s new book of essays, “Escape into Meaning”. He cites this definition of noir given by the poet April Bernard: “Noir is romanticism embittered. The life of feeling that has been betrayed leads to the attitude and genre of noir. No one who loves noir is a cynic. Cynics never believed in anything in the first place. People who love noir are disillusioned romantics.”  Would love to hear your comments about it. —Michael, Post Falls, Idaho   

8. Would you consider “Rififi” a film noir? What distinguishes a heist film from being noir or not? What would be some examples of heist films from the classic noir period that are not noir? Ryan from Studio City adjacent (aka Valley Village, CA)   

9. I have The Film Noir Foundation’s restoration of “Woman on the Run” is truly an astonishing story. I wonder, since Eddie has seen other prints, whether the movie always had climatic moments as they are in the restoration. —Rob   

10. I have just finished Jim Thompson’s novels, “The Grifters” and “After Dark, My Sweet” which I thought were great.  Described as roman noir it's a term I wasn’t familiar with but translates into black novels.  Can you give me any background on the use of this term, where it came from?   —Sharon   

11. Just watched "Cry of the City" and "The Naked Street" and wondered, how many noirs begin with a bridge under the titles? Seems to be a few... —Joe on Long Island   

12. Did the poster artists in the classic noir era work for the studios or were they freelancers? Which poster artists do each of you admire most?  Who are your favorite pulp fiction cover artists? Are there any other paintings or painters you associate with film noir? Thanks for the great show. The YouTube channel alone makes me feel that my donation is money well spent. —Joe from Suffolk County, NY

[redleavesinthewind]

canvas

another fic for day 1??? really?? yeah i wrote 2 for some reason (the gender prompt was making me do it). anyway again, for @demonlandline, happy birthday love <33

prompts: gender, tattoos, transformation

claire novak is a canvas

read below or on ao3 (1k words) / the other day 1 / day 2 / day 3 / day 4

“You’re very angry.” That is one of the first things Alex tells Claire when she arrives at Jody’s.

Claire looks up from her dinner—Jody ordered pizza, but made them put the slices on proper plates. “Fuck you!” She bites out, then she gets up, the chair scraping on the hardboard and toppling over, hitting the floor with a dull thud. On her way out, Claire doesn’t register Jody calling after her. She spends her first night in Sioux Falls finding a tattoo parlour, then buying vodka with her fake id and wandering around, staring at the basil leaves on her wrist, the skin around the thin lines irritated and red.

When she returns to Jody’s at six in the morning, the bottle of vodka long empty, she expects to be thrown out for her earlier behaviour. But Jody only makes her a hot chocolate and tells her to answer her texts the next time. Claire asks her not to order pizza anymore, the memory of standing in her old kitchen with her dad, laying vegetables on pizza dough and sprinkling basil leaves over everything won’t leave her mind.

Jody doesn’t ask why. She just nods.

***

“Why are we watching this?” Claire asks as she sits down on the couch uninvited.

Alex rolls her eyes. “It was on. And I’ve never seen this one.”

“You’ve never seen Sleeping Beauty?” Claire asks, unbelieving.

Alex rolls her eyes again. “Just shut up, or leave.”

They watch the movie in silence. They haven’t been living together for long, and they know nothing about each other. There’s also an uncomfortable undercurrent of dislike flowing between them, and so watching Sleeping Beauty again does not feel like the first time Claire has seen the movie. Sometime during the film, she realises that she doesn’t really remember when she saw it first, nor when she saw it last. She doesn’t remember actively watching it, she just knows that she’s seen it. She doesn’t know if it was with her mom, her dad, the both of them? With her friends? Friends whose names she can’t remember.

By the end of the movie, Claire is crying. Alex doesn’t comment on it.

The tattoo parlour is right where she remembers it was a few week ago. Sometimes she still thinks it was a dream, getting her first tattoo, but when she lets her fingers travel over the soft lines on the inside of her right wrist, the ink slightly elevated, she knows it was real.

Her second tattoo takes longer, multiple sessions, and without a fail, when she gets to her room afterwards she cries for at least ten minutes.

The harsh lines on her calf forming a rigid castle remind her of a time when all she worried about was if she could be a princess for Halloween.

***

Castiel keeps sending Claire texts, asking how she’s doing, always accompanied with a bee emoji, and Claire keeps ignoring them. She’s sitting in her room under the blankets, staring at the sword that killed her mother. It’s light in her grip, the metal cold and impersonal. This is her sword now. Her phone lights up, the bee emoji smiling at her. She throws it across the room.

This is the first time Claire looks for a hunt. She has a sword. She should do something with it. Kill some evil, so that the stains of her mother’s blood are washed off it. She doesn’t find anything.

Every night, Claire leaves Jody’s house to find monsters. Every night, all the monsters she finds smile at her through bee emojis. She goes to the forest and screams. She goes to the tattoo parlour and lets the nice artist paint the sword on the back of her left arm. It doesn’t make her feel any better until it does.

***

Claire stares at the castle on her calf and thinks of times when she wanted to be a princess. Then she stares at the sword on her arm and thinks of how she wants to be a warrior now. Then she keeps thinking.

Her mother called her princess all the time. The memory of her mother’s voice saying that word is dull and dark, something about it making Claire’s insides want to crawl out, making her stomach twist and knot. She is still angry with her mother. Angry at her for dying, angry at her for leaving her child all alone. Amelia Novak was all that Claire had, and she just left.

That’s not the reason why being called princess makes her feel that way, but she refuses to think too much about it.

Claire picks up her phone and texts Castiel back. She gets a tattoo of a crown over the tip of the sword the next day.

***

“Can you cut my hair?” Claire asks, and Alex looks up from where she’s studying for her finals.

“Does it have to be now?” Alex shakes her folder, making the paper rustle like wings. Claire hates the sound.

“Can you just do it? It won’t take long.” Claire goes to the bathroom without waiting for an answer. Alex follows anyway.

She works quickly and quietly, safe for the occasional “tilt your head” and “is this length okay?”. When she’s done, Claire looks into the mirror, hair now in a mullet, and almost cries.

“You’re good at this.” Claire says, and Alex shrugs. She opens the door to leave, but Claire catches her wrist and stops her. “I don’t think I’m a girl.”

Alex looks at Claire, at the new hair, the way she has tears in her eyes.

“Okay.” She says and hugs Claire. They don’t do that often, so Claire clings and revels in it. A week later, Claire gets a new tattoo. Scissors on the back of their neck.

***

Claire forgives. On their father's birthday, they look at the basil leaves and they forgive him for saying yes to an angel. On their mother's birthday, they look at the castle and forgive her for leaving them. Those two days are the only ones that there are no new messages and honeybee emojis from Cas. Jody doesn't ask why Claire doesn't talk and makes them hot chocolate. Afterwards, on a random day, Claire gets a tattoo of a house. It's not a specific house, and Claire is unsure if it's supposed to be their old or their new home.

***

“I’m a canvas.”

“You’re what?”

“A canvas.” Claire hands the joint back to Alex, who takes a deep drag. The two of them are lounging in the hammock in their garden, getting high and watching the stars.

“Hmm.” Alex closes her eyes. “Why are you a canvas?”

Claire thinks for a moment while drawing lines between stars. “See this?” They show Alex their wrist, where the basil leaves are resting within their skin. “A canvas.”

“For tattoos?” Alex ask.

“For everything.” Claire replies. They are a canvas. They can paint on princesses and warriors. They can paint on memories. They can paint on themself if they ever figure out who that is.

“I’m a canvas. I can be whoever I want to be.” Their newest tattoo, a honeybee, rests above their heart.

***

✨taglist (ask to be added/removed)

@idnobf @classycoffeecat @goiwantamuffin @bookworm-789 @emeraldcas @magickastiel @hellericarus @thefantasyfiend @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie

[rookie-critic]

A Christmas Story Christmas (2022, dir. Clay Kaytis) - review by Rookie-Critic

I'm not going to lie, A Christmas Story Christmas had me worried at first. It already had some tall shoes to fill in following up what has always been my favorite Christmas movie, A Christmas Story (a lot of that is probably fueled by nostalgia, but I don't care it brings me so much joy every Christmas). I watched it on Christmas day with my family (most of whom had already seen it), and for the first 20 minutes of the film the vibe felt off. I can't put my finger on it, but it didn't seem like what the sequel to A Christmas Story should be. Peter Billingsley was there, and he was for sure acting like Ralphie, but it wasn't clicking for me. That was, until they brought in Flick and Schwartz (Ralphie's two best friends from the original film). After that it was like a switch flipped. I was laughing almost the entire time, and when I wasn't I was at least grinning. The whole experience made a complete 180 from where I had started the film at.

I want to really take a moment to applaud this movie for knowing the difference between homage and unoriginal retreading. A Christmas Story Christmas could have easily slid by on taking the events of the original and copy/pasting them into the events of this movie, and while there are moments that are similar in the sense that the same thing is occurring (bargaining for the Christmas tree, children getting bullied by the neighborhood menaces, a "triple-dog dare" situation), it's always either flipped on its head or framed in a way that gives it new relevance. The film adds in a handful of its own, original gags as well, and adds some welcome new pieces of Parker family Christmas lore (their attitude towards carolers being chief among them). All the returning characters are played expertly by their original actors, with the exception of Mrs. Parker, who is being played by Julie Hagerty (who you might know from Airplane) instead of Melinda Dillon this time around. Hagerty does a pretty good job of stepping into Dillon's shoes, and the change is barely felt at all. The main new additions to the cast, Ralphie's wife, Sandy (played by Erinn Hayes), and children Mark & Julie, don't quite fit right in with the eclectic cast of characters surrounding them, but the film does this intentionally and uses it as a further vehicle for humor. Hayes plays a great "fish out of water" character among the residents of Hohman, Indiana, and deserves just as much praise as the legacy cast members do for her performance.

Outside of the film's humor, there's a surprising amount of great emotional moments, as well. I found myself on the verge of tears multiple times and even allowing a full cry during a particularly emotional scene towards the end of the film. The movie pays massive homage to the late Darren McGavin, who played the father in the original film (or as he is referred to in both the original and this one, The Old Man), and it's in those scenes that the movie finds its heart. Is A Christmas Story Christmas actually as good as I'm making it out to be? Possibly not, it could be that I'm tying my nostalgic love for the original Christmas Story to this one and can't look past it, but at the very least this should be a relief and an absolute treat to those who love the original film like I do. Just make sure not to discount it based on the first handful of scenes.

Score: 8/10

Currently streaming on HBO Max.

[1987vampire]

Proxies x reader NSFW HCs

alot of these scenes will actually most likely end up in this story im writing lmao, so stick around if you want to see them fleshed out

Let's get the obvious beginner out of the way.

Toby is a tits man, Brian likes ass, and Tim is happy with whatever (he likes tits more he just doesn't want to be rude)

Now, let's start with Toby

Toby is the most submissive bottom you will meet in your life.

Has slipped a bit too far into subspace a few times, and you've had to stop immediately once you realized.

Motherfucker just wants to be dommed and dommed hard. Just tell him what to do, please.

Has the biggest fucking mommy kink (which contributes to his love for tits because the motherfucker will lavish those bitches like no other when given the chance)

Also has the biggest praise kink you will ever see. Has came embarrassingly fast because you called him your good boy.

99 percent of his knowledge of sex comes from porn so,, he's going to have to be retaught most everything.

Has definitely groped your tit too hard on multiple occasions because he thought it was the right thing to do.

Surprisingly good learner, though. Just wants to make you happy.

He's the best one for quickies out of all of them only because he cums extremely fast while still prioritizing you.

(He makes up for how fast he cums by how many times he can do it. Motherfucker will paint you white all over before his body gives out. Plus, his CIPA makes it to where he can't feel the burning in his legs as he fucks you for hours. Has literally kept going until his body gave out because you wanted him to.)

All the boys have very specific thoughts on oral. Toby will give or receive, whichever makes you happier, but when he's allowed to go down on you, it's like you're his last meal.

It's one of the only time's he'll disobey your commands because it doesn't matter if you've already came three times??? He's still eating, lady, shhh.

Tried to dom one (1) time. Not doing that again. Dude started crying half-way through because he thought he was hurting you and your feelings by ordering you around.

You had to pause and take a bath with him afterwards while he calmed down. He spent half the bath blubbering into your neck and apologizing more times than you could count.

Now, Brian is the exact opposite of Toby.

You asked to try and let him be the bottom a single time and he fucked you so hard you couldn't walk the next day.

A little shithead who loves blowjobs. Will give you head, but much prefers you on your knees with him stuffed so far in that he’s tapping the back of your throat and you’re gripping his thighs while he uses you for nothing more than his pleasure in the moment. 

Will mix degradation in with praise like he's been doing it his entire life. Has given you whiplash multiple times because of it.

He's so loud, too. Toby is whiny and begs, but this dude is in your ear with low grunts and groans, his voice spilling the foulest words he can think of.

Has you seeing stars while mumbling into your neck shit like "your pretty little pussy's taking me so well - like you were built to be my cocksleeve. Just a cumslut who takes whatever I give you. Look at you, all fucked out of your mind, pretty little baby. Can't wait to paint your fuckin' insides. It's what whores like you deserve."

He's also the best at aftercare, though. You normally have to take care of Toby after, and Tim does jack shit unless needed.

Brian, though, has his dresser packed with shit to take care of you with after. Will bathe you, dress you, tell you little reassurances, make sure you're okay.

He's also best at knowing when to stop. He can sense your hesitation as if he's the one feeling it.

Because of his dirty mouth, he's had to break off sessions early a few times. The biggest was when you started crying halfway through him fucking you missionary, and not the kind of crying he liked (because let's be real, this motherfucker loves to see you cry and beg to cum.)

He had called you a whore a few too many times through the session, and you had taken it a bit too close to heart (it was something that hit a bit harder than needed since you were dating multiple men at once.)

He spent the whole night cuddling you and reassuring you that he didn't really mean it. He loved you, they all did, it was just for the roleplay. "Stop crying, pretty baby, we're okay. I'm not actually mad. Let me see a smile, c'mon, doll."

Also, let me mention that because y'all are so fucking loud, Tim has banged on the door quite a few times trying to get you to calm down.

Tim made the mistake of grumbling to himself during dinner one time in front of you and Brian that 'you're so fucking loud it sounds like you're recording a goddamn porno in there.'

If you hadn't been choking on your food so hard, you might have noticed the sly grin that crossed Brian's face, though it was brought back later when he ended up filming you quite a few times from that night. It wouldn't be posted anywhere - fuck that, you were theirs, and no one else's.

(he did accidentally share a video of you cumming to the group chat all four of you were in on accident while sending cute pictures of the two of you. The mortification of hearing your moans come through the speaker of Toby's phone while he stared at it dumbfounded was enough for you to not talk to Brian for a whole week. It didn't matter if they had seen you like that before, it was still embarrassing!)

(Brian didn't tell you that the other two - Tim especially - had been sent worse videos than that.)

SPEAKING OF TIM.

Let's get started with this man. Tim is the laziest motherfucker known to man but it is nice. 

Really, he’s not lazy, he’s just tired a lot, and he doesn’t want to put the effort in the fuck you senseless when you’ve got two others for that. 

He prefers sleepy fucking where you’re both half-out-of-it and breathless. He enjoys both of you on your sides with him spooning you, his hips moving just enough to give enough friction for the both of you to cum after a while. You can and will fall alseep right after with him still buried inside of you.

Speaking of, what’s the best way to get y’all’s sexual tension out while still being lazy (besides just making you ride him which he does very often) ? Cockwarming. 

He won’t even just do it in bed when it’s the two of you. He’s shimmied his pants down just enough for his cock to slip out and pushed your panties aside (since you were only wearing an oversized shirt and underwear. I mean, what did you think would happen?) and made you sit on him in the middle of the living room while the other two were lounging around, too distracted to notice. 

However, if someone does notice (Especially in the beginning because you were horrible at hiding your flushed cheeks and heavy breathing from understimulation) he would not hide it.

“H-hey, y/-y/n, what’s-sss-s with the f-fa-face?” Toby had asked innocently one night while you were all watching TV together. You knew Tim was smirking behind you as he lifted the hem of the big shirt just enough to let Toby know what was going on. Boy blushed so hard and covered his eyes, smacking his face harshly in the process, and Tim and Brian snickered (because of course Brian already knew.)

Cockwarming also means that the second you finally - finally - start fucking, it’s over for the two of you in less than a minute, your fingers clawing at him as you finally get your release after hours. (the longest he’s made the two of you wait was four hours because we’re watching Toby’s favorite movies, we can’t interrupt him, now can we, darlin’?’

He’s also a huge fan of facesitting. Not the biggest fan of receiving blowjobs only because it makes him feel too vulnerable, but he could have you sit on his face for hours and not complain, his hands gripping your ass tight enough to leave bruises as he laved his tongue over your clit over and over. 

The only - only - times Tim has fucked you rough was when it wasn’t even really him. You had been half-asleep with your back to him one time as he rutted into you slowly when you suddenly felt yourself flipped so you were ass up with your face being pushed into the mattress, his hips jutting at a speed you didn’t know he could reach.

You didn’t even have to look back to know that Masky - his alter that didn’t show himself too often around you - had taken over. 

During getting fucked that time by Masky, you ended up so deep in subspace, trying to please the man you didn’t get too see that often that you let him him rip orgasm after orgasm from you until you couldn’t think straight and you entered a space where all you felt was pleasure, and you couldn’t even see straight.

You were brought out of it by Tim pressing a cold rag to your forehead, whispering sweet nothings to you as he tried to get you to come to, apologizing profusely for letting it happen. You had just grinned and - though your voice was thoroughly fucked up from screaming - told him to let Masky know he could do that again any time. Tim had gotten so flustered that he walked out of the room for a few minutes. 

Speaking of alters real quick.

Tim and Brian are the only ones to have them - Masky and Hoody respectfully, of course - and they come out around you very little. Hoody comes out more than Masky though, and you can tell the difference in how quiet Brian will get. 

Hoody and Masky have fucked you both separately and together (so have Tim and Brian but we’ll get to that in a second)

Masky loves you ass and prefers to have you in doggystyle over anything while Brian’s love for blowjobs is only intensified in his alter who will have you gagging on him until you almost pass out. He’ll give you a moment to breathe in just a second, just hold on a little longer, okay?

Hoody is almost always silent besides grunts that let him communicate with Masky. This is apparent even when you’re not fucking, and the three of you have to teach yourselves how to decipher the man’s made up language. 

Masky is quiet too, but will grumble to himself more than anything, calling you the worst name’s he can think of while he slams into you so hard that you don’t even have to move yourself to give Hoody a proper blowjob, his grip on your hips and force of his thrusts are enough to have you bouncing back and forth quickly. 

It’s not like you could really move anyways, not when Masky’s picking you up by your thighs and holding your hips up as he plows into you.

They love spitroasting but have definitely done double penetration even if you complain that you’re not prepped. Who cares? You’re obviously ready for it, look at you already cumming even though they haven’t moved. 

Now, as for threesomes and or foursomes

Nine times out of ten, Toby is too embarrassed to do anything in front of the other two. Maybe if you coax him enough, reassure him that nobody will judge, he might join in for the night, but it’s an incredibly rare occurrence. Watching Brian boss you around is enough to make him squirm. You were supposed to be in change, not him? But there you were with your tongue sticking out as you rolled your hips against Tim, ready to fit either of them in your mouth. The other can always take another hole. 

Toby not wanting to join doesn’t really both the other two though, and though it’s still not as common to have a threesome compared to one on one, Tim and Brian are always ready to share. Especially when you look so pretty whining into the air as you take both of them at once. 

You don’t mind if Brian takes a few photos, right? I mean, just look at you! This is a perfect moment to capture. Ignore the fact that you’re now Tim’s home screen, your pretty tits out in the open as his cock is buried inside of you, Brian’s hand gripping the flesh of your hip. Why wouldn’t he want to see it all the time?

The same applies to them as their alters. Spitroasting is their absolute favorite, though Tim prefers it if you ride him while you slobber all over Brian instead of him having to use his energy to fuck you into oblivion. 

They love double penetration as well, but once they tried to fit both of them in your pussy instead of one in your ass and you came so hard that you passed out. It’s brought out on special occasions after a l o t of prep.

really, overall. you have a boy for whatever mood you're in and you're literally never horny because the second you mention it someone is on top of you.

[kidney9-9]

Give Me Your All - Tom Holland

Anonymous asked: heyyy, idk if your still taking requests but could I ask for a Tom smut??? It’s okay if not, just ignore this. But if so, could you write one where Tom has a massive crush on the reader and he’s touching himself to the thought of the reader and records it (moaning and all) , pretending that he was going to send it because it turned him on. But after he climaxes, instead of deleting the video he ACTUALLY sends it. You could take it form there, but yeah phew🥵

Hey there sweetie, hope you enjoy this oneshot of Tom Holland and Reader. Please read the warnings. This oneshot is childhood friends-to-lovers :) Let me know if you’d like a part two, I didn’t get to write everything I’d like to, because it’s already long :) 

Tags in reblog, to join a taglist send in an ask or press the link in my profile. Masterlist is linked in my profile.

Tom Holland x Reader (Smut) Warnings: Smut, confessions of love, unsolicited nude video, swearing, nicknames (sexual and nonsexual), teasing, female recieving oral, mention of hand job, unprotected sex, talk of kinks, slight mention of hand kink, biting, some dominance fighting, choking/breath play and some dirty talk. Please do not read if any of these warnings made you uncomfortable, thank you :) Word Count: 7.4k

He’s been friends with you since forever, and he’s been in love with you since then. Your friendship was something he valued close to his heart as well, loving how you were kind to him and how funny you two would get sometimes. He remembers how the two of you met, back in kindergarten. You were playing near the slide, and you demanded people called you the Queen of the court. Being only five years old, everyone was confused, including Tom. He was the one to question you, and your explanation only made it more confusing, making him feel competitive though. He challenged you to a duel using sticks for the title of Queen of the court. You both ended up with bruises and scrapes, but giggled at each other, shouting dumb jokes about chickens and crayons.

You’ve been inseparable since then. You were there when he lost his first tooth and made a letter with him to the tooth fairy for a mighty amount of 1 trillion pounds. Tom ended up receiving one pound and an old copy of Toy Story. You both cherished that movie forever, claiming the tooth fairy loved giving cool movies to Tom, because every tooth he lost after that (until he realized the tooth fairy wasn’t real), he received old copies of movies and a few pounds. He remembered the crush he formed on you by age 11, how he would blush and call you a dumb girl when you’d compliment cute things about him, and then he would apologize and tell you how he thought you were a bit too cool to be a girl (which always led to funny arguments).

By age 16, he realized that it was much more than just a crush, watching you have your first kiss. It hurt him, and he thought it would be the end of the world because he was convinced you didn’t want to be friends with him anymore. Sure, he had his first kiss at 14, but it was a truth or dare game, and he didn’t like the other girl, but it still hurt to see you kiss someone else. He always wished that his first and last kiss would be with you.

And now, he knew for sure he was in love with you. So many years being close to you, but unable to make a move, it was tough.

It’s been hard, hiding his real feelings for you and watching as you would get your heart broken over again. He tried many times to get over you, to date random girls or just have hook ups, but it always ended the same- he’d end up thinking of you. He’d think of how you’d smile brightly to him when he’d make a stupid joke, or how you would nudge him during parts of a movie you found funny. Or when you’d giggle loudly when you’d accidently drop your phone multiple times a day, or when you’d wear his sweaters when you’re cold. He truly loved you, and when he learned to accept it, it only strengthened.

He’d find himself gazing down at your body at moments, and just wonder what it would be like if you were moaning and whimpering under him. He couldn’t count the times he’d catch himself with a hard on just by seeing you in his bedroom, where you two always hang out. He’d excuse himself quickly, rushing to the bathroom and he’d groan quietly, lecturing himself to stop thinking about you. 

It rarely worked, and he’d sit with a hard on for hours as you laid back on his bed, scrolling through your phone as you talked to him, without a clue of what bulging pain he was going through.

He couldn’t help it today either, realizing he hadn’t seen you lately and he pulled up your text messages, to read what you two spoke about before. His cock stirred and twitched in his pants as your profile picture loaded on the screen. 

It was one of his favorite photos of you, beautifully sat next to him, with your head tucked close to his neck and your lips barely touching his skin as you beamed. Fuck, it was too much. The adrenaline he would have when he’d jerk off, filming in the messages he had with you was addictive. It turned him on so much, it felt so real, that he would actually send it to you, and he could only dream that you would send one back- or even come to him.

Tom slipped a hand under his boxers, after he spit into his hand. It curled around his cock, gently bringing it out from his boxers and sighing in relief as he pumped it to life. His finger swiped over his tip, collecting some of the precum to slide down the rest of his cock. He pressed on the record button with his other hand, facing his cock and him as he moaned quietly at the start.

“Fuck,” He murmured, blinking slowly as he focused on the picture near his bed of the two of you. It was another one, different than the profile picture. You had your legs wrapped around his, in a game of twister the two of your played back on his latest birthday. He remembered the feeling of you so close, touching his bare legs with yours and he remembered your breathing hitting his skin, and he soaked in the memory, almost feeling you against him again.

“Y/n…” He moaned out, closing his eyes now, and his hand started to curl faster up and down, slapping all the way to his skin, savoring the sounds as if it was him pounding into you instead. Oh, how much he imaged your pussy clenching around his cock, soaking in juices and cum, and you’d be stuttering out his name, crying for more. The camera focused on his cock, picking up all the noises of his heavy breathing, and the sounds of his hand moving up and down at an increasing speed over his precum soaked cock.

“I need you so bad,” He whimpered, imagining you sat naked against his sheets while he walked closer to your figure. He’d pleasure you, first. He would beg to hear you moan his name; chant out swears while you’d cum all over his face. “Cum for me, be my good girl, you can do it.” He gasped loudly, head tilting back even more. Your pussy would pulse against his cock as he’d slide it sloppily against your clit to get you even more aroused and soaked.

Oh, fuck, just thinking of you wet made him hang right over the edge. “I- fuck, such a good girl, you can do it, I love you!” He cried out, hand shaking with his phone and the video still capturing the moment. His cock twitched with anticipation, leading up to his orgasm. Tom flicked his thumb over his tip repeatedly before slapping up and down with even more speed.

“Y/n, angel, please- fuck- you’re too good to me.” He whimpered, his cock finally spilling with cum, spurting out in long moments as Tom breathed heavily, keeping his hand on the base of his cock. He sighed, opening his eyes as he wished you were here. 

He watched as his cock stopped coming, and he wiped up quickly, making sure he didn’t let any of it fall onto his sheets. He stopped the video, tossing the phone on his bed as he stood up slowly to go wash his hands. He took off his boxers, throwing them to a corner of his bedroom, and walked over to his bathroom. He tried to stop thinking of you, knowing he’d only be even more horny if he continued, and he would have to jerk off again.

His hands lathered in the soap and water and he didn’t care to dry them as he walked back to his bed. He gazed at the phone, trying to press out of the message app, but instead it froze causing him to groan. He irritated tapped at the screen, just wanting to delete the video and get out of the app. 

But instead, it replayed the first part of the video, and Tom gulped in nervousness, quickly realizing what might have just happened. He turned off his phone in an instant, shakily pressing the home button again, and unlocking it to see the messages again. “Fuck!” He yelped out, seeing the video had sent to you and he froze as he saw you start typing back.

“No, no, no” He continued, as fear and panic stroke through him, knowing he fucked up completely now. “Shit, how do I delete this?” He groaned loudly, starting to breath unevenly and in a panic, as the video played over again, and he quickly wiped his hands onto his sheets, not caring that it got wet.

He started typing, in shock. He was writing apologies left and right, as tears started to burn in his eyes. He didn’t want to lose you, not like this. It was a mistake, he didn’t mean to do it, he wrote heartfelt, and with passion, trying to explain you were never supposed to see or know any of this. That it was wrong for him to take videos, moaning your name. Tears started to drop onto the phone screen as your message popped up.

“Are you at home?”

Tom gasped after he pressed send to the long apologies, quickly typing that, yes, he was at home. He continued to add an even longer sorry in the message, as he started to cry more. Just mere minutes ago he was moaning your name, now he was crying your name. He didn’t want to lose you; it would be terrible and unimaginable.

That was when his phone started to ring, with your name at the top. You were calling him, and his eyes widened in further shock, wondering what he should do. He hesitated until the third ring, pressing accept and putting you on speaker.

“Hello? Tom?” Your voice came through the phone, causing Tom to shakily sigh out. His face rested in his hands as he groaned muffled, “Hey…” He trailed off, trying to stop his crying and apologize again. He was sat on his bed without any of his clothes, and before he could continue, you spoke up again.

“Do you- are you alone right now?” You murmured into the phone, causing Tom to glance up confused. His eyebrows were furrowed together as he quietly answered you, “Yeah, I am. Listen, I’m really sorry, that was inappropriate and…” He paused as you cleared your throat.

Your question burned through his mind, “Did you mean it? That you love me?” Yes, he meant it, he swore he’s been in love with you so long. The fear that he felt as he opened his mouth to reply was harsh, but he knew that he needed to confess now or never. 

That video was never supposed to be sent to you, but he knew if he finally got it out, then there would be some type of light feeling he’d have off his chest. He nodded, silently hyping himself up and pushing out the nervousness as he pulled his face away from his hands and squeezed at his thumbs.

“Yes, I love you.” He confessed, biting down harshly on his lip as silence went through the call.

Panic filled his thoughts and body as he heard you shuffle on the other line. “Y/n?” He whispered, staring down at the phone as he went rigid, wondering if he’s lost you now. Fuck, he wouldn’t know how to cope with losing you. Everything started with you, and you were his best friend. He didn’t care if he’d be hurt, watching you fall in love with someone else if that meant he could still be close and be your friend. But if he lost you, it would hurt the most.

“I’m coming over.” You responded, after those few moments that felt as if they were hours to him. He didn’t know what to do in that second, he almost forgot to breathe until you called his name again softly. “I love you too.” You whispered into the phone, hanging up as you got into your car and sighed out in shock.

Tom sat on his bed, naked as warmth spread through him. You love him back? The same way he did? He fell back onto his bed as one of the brightest smiles he’s ever had appeared on his face, love-doped by the fact his most desirable dreams were real- they came true. But he instantly shot right back up with a loud yelp. You were on your way right now, holy fuck. He glanced down to his figure in shock and stumbled up, rushing to his closet and tugging out new boxers. His eyes searched his closet for over two minutes, stressing about what to wear, and what the fuck was happening.

“Shit,” He pressed out, just tugging out an old but nice shirt he hasn’t worn in a few years. He buttoned it up and threw on his boxers and pulled out a pair of pants before groaning. It wasn’t a fucking business meeting, was it? No way, he pulled out a pair of dark jeans instead, slipping and tumbling as he pushed them on quickly.

You. Just you, he thought of. Everything about you was so amazing, and he couldn’t think of anyone or anything that was more flawless than you.

He snapped out of his thoughts as he heard you knock on the door and his eyes widened once more, rushing to the mirror and glancing down at himself, like he had pre-date nerves but much worse. He ran over to the door after a few seconds, and answered it, tugging the door completely open as you smiled softly to him.

“Hey,” You mumbled, smiling to him as Tom’s mouth opened up, but he had no idea what to say except, “Sorry! Again!”

You laughed back and shrugged. It was very surprising, shocking in fact. But also, just fucking hot, you watched it so many times, just hearing him moan out your name in such a way. You had so much to say and wanted to know- but it was still just incredible to you that he loves you like you love him. You can’t count how many times you’ve accidently moaned out his name when you were with your ex, but it just proved you love Tom so much.

When you developed feelings for him back in middle school, you quickly denied them. It didn’t make much sense at first, but you remembered seeing him in a different way. Noticing the strange but lovely things about him, how he tugged on his hair when he was bored, or nervous. And when he’d smile and look down, as if he was shy or insecure about it. You slowly started to start noticing these things about him, and you started thinking about him more, thinking about how something reminded you of him.

By high school, you thought he was your soulmate. Which wasn’t really a good idea to think. You’d be upset seeing him date other girls, and you tried to convince yourself that he wasn’t the one, that your soulmate was out there- and soon you just stopped believing in soulmates or even twin flames. Maybe the two of you were destined just to be best friends for life, which you thought back at the end of high school would be fine.

Something about Tom was that the had glow ups almost every month, it seemed impossible but each time you saw him, you’d be more attractive to him. Notice his dimples, and how his shoulders developed more muscle to them. Summer was always a mess for you, seeing him in his trunks, you couldn’t look anywhere at him without thinking of the things you wished you could do with him, but most of all you wanted to be with him.

Now with his video, everything seemed so complicated but easy to solve at the same time. You didn’t know what he was thinking though, and you wondered if you’d leave without a best friend, or even happier. You’d hope for the later, but it was up to whatever would happen now. You cleared your throat, as you stepped into his house, after Tom moved out of the way silent.

“Y/n…” He started, watching as you took a seat on the edge of the couch, facing him. You nodded back to him, biting your lip as your eyebrows knitted together in nervousness. Tom walked closer to you, choosing to take a seat on one of the chairs next to the couch.

“I’m really sorry. You weren’t supposed to find out- at all. I know that was just horrible, and I feel really bad.” He rambled, sniffling slightly as he waved a hand through his messy hair. You saw everything, it was so embarrassing, but he felt confused, after hearing you confess back to him. “Tommy, I- um, it’s okay.” You replied, nodding your head back to him.

He groaned, knowing it wasn’t. No one likes being sent videos like that without their permission, and to hear him say your name and what he was saying must’ve been the cherry on top. “And, I do love you, Y/n. I’ve been in love with you for a while now, but I don’t want to lose you.” He went on, gazing at you softly and worriedly.

“You won’t lose me…” You trailed off, glancing around the room. “Unless you want to. I don’t want to lose you either, you’re my best friend and I love you- I’m in love with you too.” You whispered back, feeling your heart start to race. Tom blushed at your words, as his eyebrows raised.

“You really love me?” He questioned, starting to wonder if this was just all a dream. How many times have you said it now in the past hour? It was just all a shock to him now, but it was true, everything was. You giggled back at his question, watching a goofy grin pulled across his face, “Yes Buzz Lightyear!” You replied, laughing even more as Tom let out a loud laugh.

The nickname traveled all the way back to when the two of you watched Toy Story for the first time together. You told him he looked like Andy but acted like Buzz, to which he proudly stood up from the couch and shout, “To infinity and beyond with my best friend!” You quickly bounced next to him, standing on the couch excitedly, “We’re best friends?” You questioned. And that was the story of how you two got even closer, still watching Toy Story together even now.

You both watched Toy Story and lots of other movies together throughout the years. Constantly nicknaming each other by the characters. It was an inside joke you both played by, but you felt especially happy whenever he’d call you something. He’d nicknamed you Matilda after he saw you carrying three textbooks in the hallway and you usually stuck to calling him Buzz.

While you were laughing hard, Tom stood up from his seat, admiring your beauty while he walked over to you. You calmed your laughter, letting your face soften as Tom came closer, and you hoped off the couch, glancing to his lips for a few moments. Tom saw your movement, as he parted his lips and licked them gently. The thought of your perfect lips against his, he almost groaned.

His eyes also drifted down to focus on your lips, favoring the way they sparked in the soft sunlight. You were beautiful, always, inside and out, something he found wonderful. Your eyelids fluttered as Tom stepped even closer to you, where you can feel his breath his against your skin. You leaned up, tilting your head close to his as his hand gently grasped under your chin.

“I love you Y/n.” He whispered, closing the gap between the two of you, landing his lips against yours softly. You instantly responded to his kiss, closing your eyes completely now, as you felt yourself fluster with happiness and excitement. Your mouth opened slightly, letting your tongue out as the kiss deepened. His tongue warmed against your lips, licking them as you wrapped a hand around the back of his head, gasping slightly.

Fucking sparks.

It was perfect, his arm flew around to your back, pulling you closer to him as you tugged on his hair and played with it. You stepped closer to him, as the two of you started to kiss passionately, and his other hand drew down under your shirt, skimming your skin gently as you gasped at the coldness. It only led to him kissing you even harder, as he stumbled with you back around to his bedroom, knocking into random objects of the house.

He cursed as he pulled away, breathing deeply along with you and you pulled him in for another kiss, bumping into one of the floor lamps, causing you to giggle against his lips. You both clumsily and blindly walked back towards his room, still hitting walls and even a pile of scripts he had on the floor.

His hands now were both under your shirt, sliding up and down on your back, feeling your soft skin as you still had one in his hair, tugging it with more force now. Your other arm went down to his neck, circling shapes and pinching at times.

When Tom’s back hit against his bedroom door, you both pulled away for a few moments, taking deep breaths as he pulled the doorknob, opening to the room. He pushed the door opened quickly, before taking ahold of you again, groaning as your lips hit his, instantly opening as his tongue explored your mouth. You both stumbled into the room, but instead of going to the bed, he pushed you against the wall to get closer to your figure. He grunted, feeling his cock twitch again as he felt you grind against his leg, trying to heave yourself up.

Tom grunted, pulling away from your lips, but kept his head against the wall, pulling your body up as you jumped. Your legs wrapped around his waist, and you pushed your hips against his, moaning when you felt a spark of heat run through your body, filling up in your lower stomach. “Fuck Tommy,” You laughed out breathlessly, before pulling his head back to your lips, kissing him again. Tom hummed against your lips, letting his teeth bite down onto your bottom lip, causing you to gasp.

“Like it when I kiss you like that?” He muttered back to you, pushing into your body even more against the wall, causing you to shiver at the closeness. This was your best friend, the man you fell in love with over so many years, and now hearing him talk back to you made you want to roll your head back and moan. It was incredible, being with the person you’ve loved for most of your life.

“Oh, yes,” You responded, nodding as his lips kissed down your neck. Your hips jutted up against his again, causing Tom’s cock to stir completely up into a full erection. Earlier today he wouldn’t believe this would ever happen, but now it was and fuck, he was so in love and lustful.

He bit and nibbled at your neck, causing you to whimper as he licked and smoothed sweet kisses to calm your neck down. “Tom- fuck, babe.” You moaned, as he started to grind against you in a rhythm you found addictive, pushing your hips up to meet.

“Can you believe how long I’ve wanted to do this? See you crying out my name?” He pushed out after leaving a long lick onto your neck. Your eyes widened as his dirty talk turned you on even more, causing you to feel a pulsing at your core, wanting to feel even more of him. 

“I wanted you like this too,” You confessed, out of breath as you slid a hand between your bodies, underneath his shirt. Your hand contacted his abs, causing you to shake with delight.

“Really?” Tom retorted, grinning as he gazed back at you as sweat started to pull at his forehead. You nodded back to him as he continued to dry hump against you. “Then show me.” He taunted, causing you to furrow your eyebrows before tugging his head back to yours again. You harshly bit onto his lip, swirling your tongue out after a moment while your other hand curled near his pants, cupping his hard on.

Tom gasped into the kiss as you started to unzip his jeans, making him groan against your lips. You grinned, loving the way he made those sounds, “Mm, pretty boy,” You mumbled, letting your lips disconnect, as you made your way to his ear. Tom clenched one of his fists up against the wall as you pecked messy kisses into his ear and tried pushing his pants lower. 

He helped you out, but shivered as you moaned into his ear, “I’ve dreamed of you begging,” You paused, whispering now against his skin, under his ear and onto his neck, “Asking for my wet pussy,” Another pause.

Tom’s face was more than red at this point, as he realized his wishes were granted to him, and he thanked everything around him, but most importantly you in his head. “And hm, do you know who made me wet?” You murmured, grinning widely as you peeked at his face.

“I- I do.” Tom responded, instantly losing all his confidence as you slid your hand underneath his boxers. You licked your lips as your eyes widened, getting a feeling of his girth. Feeling excited, but still playful, you continued your talking, “Who is it? Is it my pretty boy?” You murmured to him, sliding your hand up and down while lightly gripping his cock, giving him a loose hand job to work him up.

“Y-yes, fuck Y/n.” He panted out, head rolling to the side as his legs started to go weak. You grinned even more, before pulling your hand away and grasping his stomach again. He groaned, pushing his hips forward and meeting your center again, as you wrapped your legs tight around him once more.

“You’re a fucking tease,” He cried out, as you bit his ear, moaning. You sighed out again, watching as his eyes fluttered at the feeling of your breath against his skin. “And you know what happens to teasers?” He continued, stuttering as you grinded down against him again. Fuck, he was pounding hard, and he needed to tug the rest of his jeans off.

“What happens?” You questioned back with an innocent tone. Tom pulled you off the wall without a second for you to process that he was kissing you now. You blinked momentarily before responding, wrapping your arms fully around the back of his neck to support yourself more. Tom grunted as he swung you around, licking at your lips as you let out a soft happy sigh.

He carried you across his room, still not to the bed, and instead to his bean bag chair. He moved his head away from yours, breathing heavily with lust doped eyes, “Get off,” He whispered to you, causing your arms to collapse and you grinned, falling back onto the chair. You sunk into it, and almost wanted to laugh at the size, but your attention was all on Tom, your best friend. You weren’t sure what else to call him, because you knew no matter what was happening now, he would always be your best friend, and you’d love to be with him any type of way, whether that be as friends or more.

“Well when you tease someone, darling, you should always expect it back.”

You felt the air leave your body as he slowly stripped his jeans off, leaving him in his boxers and shirt. You tried not to stare, but well, it was hard (both not staring and his clothed cock). Fuck, you gulped as Tom started to peel his shirt away, tossing it to one of the corners of the room. You quickly glanced that way as you noticed you started to feel shy.

Damnit, not the time to feel that way, but you couldn’t help it. You wanted to be perfect for him, he was the one you’ve loved for so long, one you’ve wanted for so long. You wanted to lay flawlessly for him, kiss him as he wanted, just make him happy, but you really wanted to just fuck him in the moment. Were you really into that “making love” thing? Where was the love if you would just sit and take his cock and not cum? Love and passion were two things that fit great together, and your shyness was threatening your desire to fuck Tom out of his mind.

Just as Tom finished taking his boxers off, he noticed your facial expression and instantly paused. “Y/n,” He started, whispering down to you almost nervously, “I- what’s wrong?” He asked, stuttering, wondering if he’d done something bad. He instantly started to swear himself out in his head as you glanced up to him with that smile of yours, the one he’d always recognize.

“I’m sorry…” You trailed off, groaning as you contemplated what to say. It was hard, you wanted to be everything for him, but you didn’t know what his everything was. He didn’t know yours either. You both needed to find out somehow though.

“What do you,” You cleared your throat, gazing up at Tom as he ran a hand through his hair nervously. “What do- what are things you enjoy, or your kinks?” You mumbled out, scratching your leg as an odd habit as Tom furrowed his eyebrows.

“My kinks?” He repeated, as his gazed ran over your figure again. You nodded back, stretching back onto the bean bag chair as your arousal pounded with lust and restlessness. You could smell the sweat already, what it would be like to feel his skin against yours everywhere, how he’d pound into you and whisper things you’d beg to hear again.

Tom kneeled close to you, biting his lip as his hand reached out for your chin, tilting your head closer to his. “I like hearing everything, I like when I hear pleading,” He paused, gulping as your eyes flickered down to his lips. “I want to see you squirm with my hand around your neck,” He stopped as your lips parted in surprise and want.

“As long as you’re okay with that.” Tom whispered after a moment. You instantly nodded, pushing yourself up and kissing him again. Fuck, even though this was the first day of kissing him, you knew that you’d never get enough of it, always wanting more. His lips were something you adored for years, and now you can finally feel them, know their language, and you loved every bit of it. Your lips separated as his tongue slid onto your bottom lip.

“I love you so much,” You mumbled between the messy kisses as Tom fully started to move on top of you, onto the bean bag chair. Tom grunted into the kiss as you wiggled around while pulling him closer to you. “I love you too,” He sighed out, pulling away from your lips momentarily to gaze back at you, smiling.

“Take off your shirt, I want to see you.” He whispered, sliding his hand underneath the front of your shirt, feeling your skin against his palm. His eyes fluttered close as you grinded up again against his cock. You whimpered as he retaliated, pinching your skin. You rushed your hands to your shirt, tugging it off with Tom’s help.  

You both broke the kiss as you tossed the shirt over your head, in a rush. Before you could kiss him again, Tom’s hand lingered over your bra, speaking up, “Wait, what are your kinks? What are you comfortable with?” His breath was hitting you again, as you blinked back surprised, he asked. You felt your breath hitch from his hand.

“I um, I like it when you touch me- anywhere. Fuck- it’s just your hands are just hot,” You rambled, feeling your cheeks heat up. Tom smirked at your comment, pushing his hand down onto your bra again, causing you to sputter out a quiet moan.

“Why did we never do this before now?” He questioned, as he brought his other hand behind your back, lifting you up slightly. His fingers curled around the bra as you shuddered at the feeling, shaking your head, “I’m not sure, but I’m happy we are now.”

Tom smiled back to you, before kissing you again. His lips were hot against yours, warming your whole body as you felt your underwear dampen even more. You felt as though you two continued to sink into the bean bag and you grunted, wanting even more. “Fuck,” You gasped out, as Tom finally undid your bra completely and pinch at your skin again.

You shrugged out of the bra, causing him to gaze in awe, “You’re so beautiful,” He whispered. You sighed as he placed one hand onto a breast, squeezing it. “Tom,” You began, as you started to feel as though you couldn’t take it any longer. You needed him; it was bad.

“Please-” You cut yourself off with a gasp as he trailed his fingers down your stomach lightly, sliding it to your pants. Fuck, when you looked down, you felt everything heat up, seeing him clench his fist around the buckle to your belt, tugging it off. “Please what, darling?” He asked back.

“I need you now. In me.” You whined, lifting your hips up to take off your pants and to be closer to Tom. He raised his eyes back to you, shaking his head, “Mm, no, I’m going to savor this.” He murmured back, teasingly. You groaned, but quickly quieted down as Tom unzipped your pants, leading you closer to him. Your panties snapped against your skin as he slid his fingers near the elastic.

“I want to taste you,” Tom paused, whispering as he stood back up. You glanced down to his cock again and licked your lips, just imagining what he would taste like, since he brought it up. But the idea excited you even more, pooling wetness near your thighs now as you slipped off your pants smoothly and standing up close to him. “While you scream my name,” He finished up, pulling you close as your eyes widened.

“Fuck Tommy,” You responded, instantly leaning up to kiss him again. Oh, it felt so good to be bare against him, to feel his heat and fuck- his cock hitting against your stomach as well. He pushed you back against the bed finally, and you collapsed with a sigh as he dug his fingers into your thighs. You let out a whimper as his fingers trailed closer to your panties.

Tom let out a chuckle, watching you shiver, before he bit onto the cloth, tugging your panties down completely with the help of you lifting your hips up into the air, and with his hands. “Woah…” He breathed out, seeing your glimmering wet pussy. You gazed down at him with need, gasping as he blew air close to your hood.

His sweet lips found their way to one of your inner thighs, pecking your skin softly. His fingers twirled around on the other thigh, as he groaned, listening to your heavy breathing. His kisses became slower, and messier, leaving a trail of spit as he lingered closer to your center, breathing into you.

And finally, his lips collided with your core. You gasped, instantly rushing your hands to the back of his head, tugging on his curls. Your back arched as his tongue lapped long and fast stripes against you, leaving you no time to stop the loud cry of his name. Tom smirked against you, finding joy in your moans, and lapped his tongue against your clit over again, pressing hard.

You yelped, crying out again as one of his fingers urged into you, curling and soaking in your heat. “Fuck, you’re- how is your tongue so good?” You rambled out, tugging his head up momentarily to see his face. 

Oh shit, it was covered in your slick, and you cried out again feeling him slip and stretch another finger into your pussy. Tom smiled before letting his tongue out, teasing you once more as he licked your outer lips now, instead of your clit. He headed towards your labia, carefully pressing slow kisses again.

“You taste so fucking delicious,” Tom paused, murmuring now against your clit. You moaned aloud from the vibrations it sent through your nerves. You couldn’t believe you were here now, with his head between your thighs, loving and admiring you so much.

“Bet you taste even better.” You responded, watching as Tom glanced back up to you, grinning. His eyes were darker than you’ve ever seen before, and you loved seeing this side of him now finally. “I think I can sit here and eat you out for hours. Everything about you is addicting.” He finished up, raising his eyebrows back to you as you whimpered at the thought.

You didn’t even have time to warn him about your orgasm, it rushed out of you, gushing against Tom’s lips and fingers as he licked you up again. “Tom- fuck- oh my,” You choked out, raising your hips against his face as his other hand grasped around your hip, digging into your skin. You came onto his face, causing him to soak it all up with his tongue, groaning at the taste in delight.

Your head hit back against the pillows again as you dropped your body completely, feeling as if you were floating. “That was,” Tom cut you off, kissing your hip slightly, “Perfect, absolutely perfect.” You let out a laugh, just in disbelief that you were finally with him, in the way you wanted. You shifted slightly, still feeling the effects of your orgasm drift through your body as Tom laid back next to you, kissing your shoulder gently.

You giggled quietly, “Yeah, it was great.” Tom smiled back to you, as you rolled to face him, kissing his nose for a quick second. As you gazed back at Tom, you instantly were reminded of his throbbing cock, as it hit against your stomach, making you gasp. You pulled him in for a deep kiss, causing him to groan, and stumble on top of you.

“I’m ready, are you?” You mumbled through the kisses, pulling and tugging at his hair. Your legs spread wider, gasping again when you felt him pull away from the kisses completely, as his cock barely brushed against your heat. “I am,” Tom responded, smiling back to you as his face softened. His hand grasped your face gently, as he propped himself up above you, lining his cock to your pussy.

“I love you so much,” He whispered, brushing his thumb to your lips briefly, before his entire hand drifted down towards your inner shoulder. Your eyes gazed up to his before you smiled back, “I love you too,” You mumbled back.

Tom started to push his cock in slowly, gazing back to you to check if you were alright, and you gasped as you felt his girth. “Oh…” You let out, furrowing your eyebrows together in surprise before you felt him push all the way into you. He grunted, before pulling back, to start his pace, “Are you okay, darling?” He asked softly, as he saw your face.

You nodded back to him, wiggling your hips, “Please keep going,” You responded, causing Tom to breathe in deeply, holding back his moan. You grinned back to him as his fingers caressed against your throat. You nodded back to his silent question, if it was alright for him to put his hand around your neck, as he slowly pushed in again, and you started to get used to the feeling.

Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him deeper than before and you instantly let out a moan, feeling the heat build up in you again, during his rhythm. Your attention went back down to his hand, sighing as he grasped around your neck, fuck. You loved it so much, as he started to strengthen his hold, he kissed you again, as he pounded into you.

You kissed him back, groaning as his fist tightened again, and he pulled away from your lips, now going towards your cheek and leaving sloppy kisses. His other hand drifted in between the two of you, finding your clit again, and started to rub harshly causing you to gasp and moan out his name.

“You like that, huh? Louder.” Tom spoke up, gazing back to you in lust and desire, pounding into you even harder now. You gasped his name in return, moaning as you felt his fingers around your throat. Your head tossed back against the pillow, and you breathed in slowly against his hand, blinking dazed and in amazement. You almost felt too out of it, as airflow was limited now, but it felt good still.

Tom didn’t stop moving motions on your clit either, as his pounding started to go into an unsteady pace. He pulled away from your cheek and his hand away from your neck, now gripping at your hips harshly, groaning again. You shuddered as you felt him go even deeper than before and hitting your g-spot again. “I’m going to cum again,” You quivered out, feeling a tear run down your face from the rush of your orgasm building up, and Tom huffed back, grinning down to you.

“I’m going to as well,” He responded, eyes locked down onto your expression as his fingers started to go even faster, rubbing at your clit. “You’re doing so good darling.” Tom continued, praising you as his cock soaked in your pussy. You clenched around him, crying his name again, and bringing his face back to yours, kissing him again. You could taste your cum from before too, and Tom groaned into the kiss, as your legs squeezed around his figure.

You started to quiver as your orgasm pushed over the edge, and you gasped against his lips, losing your grip. “I’m co-” You couldn’t even warn him as you came out quickly, causing you to yell out his name, eyes fluttering closed as Tom continued to push into you.

It felt unreal, how the day had gone. With Tom above you, coming right after you and whispering his love for you. It made you want to scream into a pillow with joy, but you couldn’t find yourself letting go of Tom’s figure as he dropped besides you with that smile. You didn’t know what else to do but to hold onto him like you’ve been doing your whole life. He’s your best friend, and now perhaps a lover, a scenario you played in your head during daydreams for fun, but it’s real now. Your head tucked into his neck, as the both of you laid on the bed, sweating and covered in each other’s cum.

“Hey, Buzz,” You paused, barely mumbling his nickname while giggling. Tom gazed back down to you with a love doped expression, “Yeah, Matilda?” He answered, laughing along with you. His laugh made you beam even more with a happiness you couldn’t compare to any. You shifted slightly, capturing his gaze as his laugh quieted down. Your hand drifted up to his face, cupping his cheek softly as the words poured out from your lips.

“I really do love you.”

In a few quiet moments after, his lips rested against your forehead, “I’ll love you forever,” He confessed, closing his eyes as sleepiness rolled between the two of you. A hum went through your lips in agreement, cuddling closer to him as your breathing settled, fluttering your eyes shut with a smile.

[watermelonlovershigh]

Bisexual Harry (MILD SMUT w/ MOSTLY FLUFF)

ATTENTION- THIS IS STRICKLY FICTIONAL (NOT REAL). I'M FULLY AWARE THAT HARRY HAS NOT CAME OUT AS BISEXUAL AND WANTS TO BE UNLABLED. I ENJOY BI HARRY FANFICS BUT THERE ARE NOT MANY OUT THERE SO I DECIDED TO WRITE ONE. ALSO THE TRAITS I WILL BE CONCIDERING AS BISEXUAL TRAITS ARE FULLY DEPENDENT ON THE INDIVIDUAL. I HATE STEREOTYPING. JUST KEEP IN MIND THAT JUST BECAUSE HARRY DOES THESE THINGS IN THIS STORY THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE SOMEONE BISEXUAL OR EVEN GAY. LASTLY I'D LIKE TO SAY THAT I'M NOT BISEXUAL MYSELF BUT THE IDEA OF BEING WITH A MAN WHO IS, IS A TURN ON. NOT IN A FETISH TYPE WAY. JUST THE VULNERABILITY AND OPENNESS OF ENJOYING EITHER WOMEN OR MEN IS INCREADIBE TO ME. THANK YOU AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY.

Harry told me early on into our relationship that he was bisexual. He was so nervous that I would leave him, but it just made me fall more in love with him. He told me late one night about 6 months into dating, on his couch. The second he told me, Harry broke down into real raw tears. The first time I'd seen Harry actually cry. Yeah I'd seen him cry during sappy movies but this was so much more than that. These tears had fear in them. Fear that I would leave him. They had vulnerability in them for being so open. But also a weight was lifted off his chest, just happy to tell me. I held Harry in my arms and cried with him, telling him how much I loved him and that this doesn't change anything. That I loved him just as much.

Only a few people in Harrys life knew he was bisexual. His close family. His close friends. That was it. If it got out in the media, the internet would have gone wild. Of course there were many rumors about his sexuality. Most of them being that he's gay. For the longest time he actually thought he might be gay. He had a lot of 'gay tendencies': painted nails, feminine clothes, pearl necklaces. But he also had very 'mainly tendencies' like watching football and drinking beer with the lads. Harry was just so conflicted all his life. Not knowing what he was. That's until the age of 18. One of his school friends came out as bisexual and that's when it clicked for him. He liked both male and females and he was okay with that. He excepted that part of him. He was more worried about what others would say or think. His family was very supportive. His friends were too. They never treated Harry differently knowing that they were straight and he was sexually attracted to them. Well not so much them specifically because they were more like brothers, but the male species as a whole.

Being in sexual relationships were on a new level of fear for Harry. Fear that when he was having sex with a guy, that the guy would try and convince him he's actually just gay. Or the fear that any women he had sex with would say he wasn't manly enough for them. Needless to say, Harry kept his sexuality a secret from most of his one night stands or short term relationships. He just didn't feel the need to tell them unless they asked specifically if he was bi or not.

Me and Harry meet at a local club in London a few years back. He was with his bandmates at the time. I was by myself because my boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me. I was devastated and needed to escape reality. That meant drink until my body went numb. Unfortunately for me though, I wasn't that much of a drinker so my body rejected the alcohol pretty fast. I stumbled onto the London streets trying to get fresh air but ended up puking my guts out in a near by bin. Harry just so happened to be outside at that moment and saw the whole thing before his eyes. He rushed over to me and pulled my hair back to prevent more vomit from getting in it. Then he asked if I was alright and who I was with. I told him I came there alone so he insisted I come back to his place. Because my brain was fuzzy from the alcohol, I didn't hesitate one bit. Harry set up his guest room for me and helped me to bed that night. Something I'm forever grateful for. If it wasn't for him, I could've been kidnapped and raped by a stranger on the streets. When I woke up the next day, I realized who's house I was in. All of the music awards on the shelf in the room I stayed in gave it away. I was never a big fan of One Direction, no reason in particular, so I didn't act like a fangirl would have. Before I left his house, he gave me his number to call if I ever needed someone to talk to. Considering he was an international popstar and all, he sure was the most genuine person I'd ever meet. Taking care of a complete stranger and even giving them his phone number. I never thought I'd actually call him though. Or even see him again, but about a week later, I ran into him at a local coffee shop and we started talking form there. The rest was history.

We hung out all the time. He invited me to a few One Direction concerts. Even had sex a few times. Amazing sex I might add. It truly was great. Even though at the time, I had to remain secret from the public. More so said by Harry then his management. Mainly to keep me safe and out of the media knowing how private I liked to be. Three months of seeing each other and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was thrilled. Then six months into our relationship, Harry realized how serious our relationship was becoming. That we both had strong feeling for each other. So that's when Harry decided to tell me he was bisexual. On his couch. Late one night. He wanted to get it out of the way so he didn't have to hide that part of himself with me. So he could be himself around me. If I excepted him that was and of course I did.

Approximately two years after dating, Harry purposed. He was basically shitting bricks the whole time, but he did it. I didn't hesitate one second before I said yes. We were in love. At this point, the media had found me and Harry out. Most of his fans adored me. Some said our relationship was fake. And others just flat out said I was keeping Harry closeted, not allowing him to be gay. But I knew the truth. I knew he was bisexual, not gay. I never doubted his sexuality one bit. Especially how he devoured my body when we made love. Any gay person would probably gag at the sight of a women's pussy. Not Harry. It was his favorite part of my body. A year after Harry filmed the movie Dunkirk (2017), we got married. It was a small wedding. Just close family and friends invited. It was perfect.

Now here we are in the current year of 2021 and we're still going strong. A few fights here and there, but because both Harry and I have too big of hearts, we always feel bad after fighting and immediately apologize to one another. The media had tried to split us up multiple times but it's never been successful. Our love for each other is too strong and everlasting.

Just because Harry is in a happy, loving heterosexual relationship, doesn't mean he feels completely secure about his sexuality all the time. In the beginning of our relationship, Harry tried to completely throw away any 'bisexual' tendencies he had even though he knew I supported him. For instance, there was many times Harry wanted to paint his nails but didn't. Or would refrain from gushing over sexy guys in movies we watched together. That's when I noticed he was becoming depressed. He stopped writing music. He would disengage in activities we tried to do together. Even pushed me away when I tried to have sex with him. I felt hopeless. Until one morning I asked him what was wrong, and he spilled everything. How he tries so hard to suppress the bisexual side of his character for me. For our relationship. Harry explained that he had the desire to paint his nails vibrant colors and wanted to wear feminine clothes sometimes. Something that was particularly hard for Harry to confess to me was how he even wanted to try anal. On me or me with a strap on fucking him. Right away I made us an appointment to get our nails done at a salon. Then I told him he could wear a trash bag and he'd still be the most beautiful mainly man I'd ever seen. Lastly, I grabbed my laptop and went online shopping for female strap ons, letting Harry pick the girth and size he wanted. Yes I was a little nervous to actually fuck him, but he assured me he would help me out every step of the way. As for anal on me, I mentioned how I would be nervous but how I also trusted him. Trusted him enough to penetrate me anally. That I knew he would be extra careful with me.

Needless to say, I made Harry more confident. Confident in his sexuality. I got him to come out as bisexual to the public. I let him explore his bisexuality in the bedroom. Though of course he still worshiped my pussy. We had weekly appointments to get our nails painted. Harry even wore a dress out to a date night one night. He was super scared and on edge the whole night but I kept whispering in his ear how I couldn't wait to rip that dress off of him and fuck him in the ass until he cried out of pleasure.

I honestly loved that Harry was bisexual. It was almost like a turn on for me. He was both a gym buff and my little princess. He had thick arm muscles and toned abs, as well as pink nails and pearl necklaces. Anytime he mentioned how hot a guy on tv was, we could gush over him together. Or how sensitive and vulnerable he was at times. A lot of guys hold in their emotions, thinking men can't express their feelings, but not Harry. If he felt the need to cry, he would. Right in front of me. It could be triggered by a sad movie or a animal abuse commercial. Also, on the rare occasions he asks for it, I would fuck him with the strap on in his mouth. Though a rubber penis didn't quite taste like the real thing, salty mixed with sweat, he loved to deepthroat it anyways. Watching him choke and gag around the fake penis made my pussy drip. We even bought a strap on dildo that had a vibrator on the back side of it. That way every time the fake cock would enter his mouth, the vibrator would stimulate me clit, giving me pleasure as well.

No matter how much the media tried to convince Harry he was in fact gay and didn't actually like women, he would ignore the rude comments and prove to me everyday that he in fact loved me. Me as a women. Loved my smile. Loved me eyes. Loved the way my boobs bounced while having sex. Often grabbing them in his hands and stimulating my nipples. Loved the way my tight pussy felt around his dick. Or the way my sweet juices tasted on his tongue when he ate me out. Yes he loved dick. Yes he loved balls. Yes he loved being railed to death from behind. But he also liked vagina and he loved boobs. Harry wanted to make love to me and get me pregnant. Watch my stomach grow. Be there to hold my hand when I deliver the baby. Help change diapers at 3 am when I'm to tired to do so. Teach our kids to love and respect everyone and be themselves. Be open to our kids about his sexuality. Give them knowledge on bisexuality and educate them on the matter. Instead of assuming they are straight by asking his future son if he has a girlfriend yet or asking his daughter if she has a boyfriend, Harry will ask if the have a partner or fancy anyone in particular. Love his children for who they are or who they want to become. Be a role model for them. And live happily ever after with me, his supportive wife, by his side.

MASTERLIST

[rachaelswrites]

Nicknames

A/N: I didn’t include all actors/characters but if you want one just send it in and I’ll do it. I’ll start including these in my writing

~~~~~~

Here are some nicknames that each of the reader’s have been given

Sebastian Stan “prinţesă”

-Obviously, its Romanian

-There were a few he tried out with you when you were younger but this one stuck for multiple reasons:

-You were a major daddy’s girl (still are) and you pretty much got anything you wanted. You were almost on the verge of spoiled brat

-It also didn’t help that you had a very huge liking for Disney and it’s princesses

-Those dresses with the matching shoes? You had almost all of them

-He called you that until you grew out of your princess obsession, saving it for certain times

-The first time you ended a long term friendship was the first time he used it in years. He’d either call you by your name or something more generic like “Sweetheart”

-You came home visibly upset and ran right into your dad’s arms

-You’d never been this upset before so he said it, hoping in some way it would calm you down

“It’s alright Prinţesă, I’ve got you”

-When it worked that time, he did it again after your first break up.

-You were more angry than sad this time

-He had to hold you down on the couch so you couldn’t hurt anyone

“Prinţesă, calm down. He’s not worth a criminal record

-He used it on days when you were sick or were feeling down

-Maybe even if you were in trouble

-You and him both thought by the age of sixteen, you would hate the nickname but surprisingly, you liked it even more

Chris Evans “peanut”

-Another case of daddy’s girl

-This one comes from several trips to Red Sox’s games

-Chris wanted to get you into sports when you were young (just to watch, not necessarily to play)

-He took you and Scott to one of the first games of the season and he bought peanuts, in his true American way

-You were seated in between him and Scott

-Both of them were sharing the bag while you had ice cream

-Peanuts were a new food for you and you wanted to try them. You grabbed a handful of them and copied your dad’s movements to crack open the shells

-You ate like twenty in less than a minute

-You loved them so much and that’s how that name happened

-Unlike the others, Chris uses this name pretty regularly 

-You didn’t mind how often he used it until he started using it on front of your friends

“Hey peanut, do you guys need anything?”

“Dad! That’s embarrassing”

-Your face went bright red and for the rest of the day, your friends teased you (in a loving, joking way)

-Chris realized his small mistake and was a little more careful about when he used it

-Scott called you it once and you swear, you never saw your dad move so quickly

“She’s my peanut, not yours. Find your own nickname”

-Anytime he posts a picture of you on Twitter/Instagram, he used that name instead of your own

Matthew Gray Gubler “munchkin”

-Three words

-Wizard. Of. Oz.

-You had a very weird obsession with this movie. It’s almost embarrassing looking back at it now

-By the time you were three, you knew all the words (as best as you could) to all the songs

-Matthew was about to lose his mind because he had the songs in his head as well, twenty-four-seven.

-You would talk and talk about how much you wanted to go to Munchkin land and be a Munchkin

-It also didn’t help that at the time, you were probably close to the same height

-Sadly, as you got older, you and your dad learned you didn’t develop his height

-You were a whopping 5’2 at the age of fifteen

-And the name stuck

-He knew you weren’t super fond of the name but somehow, it always cheered you up

-If you had a tough day at school, he’d sit on the couch and let you vent

“Let it all out Munchkin”

-You secretly did like the name (even though the origins were embarrassing)

-Matthew never let you live down that obsession 

-When you were on set and he called you that, everyone asked why.

“Matthew, why do you call her Munchkin?”

“Dad, don’t do it”

“She was obsessed with The Wizard of Oz”

-He also very rarely referred to you as “Y/n” on social media, opting for Munchkin instead

-Trying to get back at him, you tried to come up with some ridiculous name for him

“I’m going to call you dancer. Cause that’s how you broke your knee”

-That one didn’t last long but Munchkin sure did

Tom Holland “bubs or darling”

-Tom gets two because I can’t pick

-Bubs is because you are the baby out of all of the brothers

-It was also because before you could say any brother’s name, you just called them bubs

-Sam, Harry, and Paddy also called you Bubs. They still call you that sometimes so Tom wanted to try something new

-When you were about five or six, he accidentally called you darling

-It wasn’t a typical brother/sister name but it suited you

-You were such a kind person and your favorite movie to watch with Tom was Peter Pan

-And the last name of Wendy was Darling, so he thought it fitted

-When he called you darling, it was mostly after he came home from filming

“I missed you so much Darling”

-You liked the meaning behind your nickname

-Tom used Bubs if you weren’t feeling like yourself

-Whether it was a bad day or if you were sick

“Take some medicine Bubs” or “Bubs, tell me what’s going on”

-He hated the others calling him Tommy but for you, he’d let you do it anytime you wanted

-Literally, you were the only person he let you call him Tommy

-But he was the only person who could call you Darling

Bucky Barnes “doll”

-Classic

-This one is pretty self explanatory

-It was common during your childhood but once you were in the 21st century, Bucky couldn’t part with it

-It reminded him of the past (in a good way) and he always wanted to relive those memories 

-You were eight when HYDRA took him and then you

-The name reminded him of when you were little, and it reminded you too

-While Bucky was in Wakanda, he’d send you letters once he woke up

“Hey Doll, I miss you so much. Hopefully we can see each other soon”

-You kept them all with you

-And when The Snap happened, you’d read those letters back to yourself everyday

“The sunset was really pretty today Doll, it reminded me of the ones from when you were little”

-After those five years, that was the first thing he said to you

“I’m glad you’re safe Doll”

-It only took one time for Sam to tease you about it before you threatened to hurt him

“You make fun of it one more time and I swear it’ll be the last”

-Sam didn’t really understand why that name meant so much to you

-Bucky had to explain it to him

-It was really one of the only things you had left of your childhood

-And it was the one thing you could hold onto for the rest of your life

Ransom Drysdale “princess”

-Again, I think this one is self explanatory and obvious

-You’re spoiled, no doubt about it

-The name actually came from Meg

-She was a few years older than you and she was so used to being the only girl in the family

-And now she had to deal with you

-The reason she called you that was pretty stupid in the first place but as an eight year old, it didn’t matter to her

-You had spilled your drink on her by accident and onto her new shoes

-She went red in the face and started screaming in your face. You burst into tears

-You were only four and Ransom had never raised his voice at you. It was a new experience for you

-All the adults came into the room and walked into the scene of Meg screaming and you crying

-Ransom scooped you up and told Meg off

-Of course Joni took her daughter’s side but no one else did, making her mad

“She never gets in trouble. She’s such a princess”

-After that incident, your dad only used that name just to piss everyone off

-Like there was no need for him to but he just did it

“Princess, come here”

-In general, Ransom liked to show you off and the nickname Princess was the best way to do that

-As you got older, he felt weird using it. Meg had finally gotten over herself and everyone accepted the fact that your dad was spoiling you rotten

-You didn’t need a name to show that

-But as you got older, the issues in the family and all the problems started to weigh down on you

-There was so much drama that happened at family dinners, you were completely drained and exhausted once you got home

-Ransom could tell something was up so he reached into his bag of good parenting skills (which he definitely had, which shocked everyone) and called you Princess for the first time in ten years

“Princess, please tell me what’s wrong”

-For some reason, that one name made everything better for you

-Ransom noticed the small improvement in your mood so he kept calling you that on the daily

“How was school today Princess?” 

-And in front of the family again

“Princess, it’s time to go”

-This name was literally just used to show the other Thrombey’s that you and your dad were better than them

-Of course though, you didn’t need a nickname to see that

Spencer Reid “squirt”

-Another name based on an obsession

-But this one can be blamed on Garcia

-While Spencer was on a case one time, she was in charge of watching you

-To keep you entertained while at the BAU, she put on Finding Nemo

-That was a mistake

-From that point on, you had a weird fascination with sea turtles, because of Squirt

-Once Spencer got back, you would not shut up about turtles

“Daddy, look what I just read”

-He was glad you found something you were interested in. He sort of hoped you would find something closer to a more “normal” topic but he would never stop you from learning

-Spencer wasn’t sure how the name fell onto you but once it did, he didn’t stop using it

-He generally used it in the apartment with just you and him

“Squirt, can you pick your toys up for me?” or as you were older “Squirt, can you grab those books for me?”

-He used it a lot when you felt stressed and you weren’t telling him

-So whenever he called you that, you knew you might as well tell him

“Tell me what’s going on Squirt”

-It was such a small gesture but it really did help you

-He tried to explain why it probably made you feel better but you weren’t too interested in the science behind it

-The only time he used it in front of the team is when he got back from a case

-You always met him at the BAU (he made sure you were there to greet him)

-You would stand in front of the elevator and wait for the doors to open

-And when they did, you ran into his arms and he wrapped them around your body

“I missed you Squirt”

-The team absolutely adored that nickname but knew to never call you that, unless they wanted an angry Reid on their hands

Emily Prentiss “love”

-To me, Emily just has European vibes and so does this nickname

-Probably because Emily grew up in Europe, she developed this habit of calling you Love

-The parents of her friends growing up used that name

-She sort of just picked up on it, starting when she first held you in the hospital

“Hi Love, I’m your momma”

-It’s such a simple but meaningful name to her

-You were truly the one person she loved the most (even her mom and even Sergio)

-Speaking of, once she brought Sergio home you started calling him that as well

-You were only four and didn’t understand the concept but Emily didn’t stop you

“Hi Wove”

-Emily never used this in front of people unless something was wrong

-As you got older, it was used more as a reassurance for you

-Her “death” was really hard on you and every case, she would check in 

-Lots of the time, the phone calls were short and around the other members of the team

“Hi Love, I miss you. The team says hi”

“I miss you too momma”

-Very rarely would she use it in normal, everyday conversation

-If you were visiting the office, sometimes it would slip out

“Hey Love, are you doing your homework?”

-In front of the team, she used names like “baby” or “honey”

-Love was strictly reserved for just you and her

Jennifer Jareau “bug”

-First thing to know

-If anyone besides JJ called you Bug, even Will, she would literally rip their heads off

-This name was super personal to her and she didn’t want the meaning to be ruined

-You had taken after her love and fascination with butterflies

-Except you hadn’t learned the word butterfly so you just called them bugs, hence the nickname

-JJ only called you two things “Y/n” and “Bug”

-Nothing else

-At one point, Will was convinced that she might’ve forgotten your first name because she called you Bug so much

“JJ, she has a first name you know”

“I know, I think Bug fits her better”

-She did attempt to get your name changed, but to be fair, she was drunk when that happened

-She didn’t care that as you got older, the name was a little embarrassing, especially around your friends

“I’ll pick you up at seven Bug”

“Mom! Really? In front of my friends?”

-Your brothers for awhile thought your name was Bug, because she really only called you that at home

“Do you need help with your homework Bug?” or “Bug, can you set the table?”

-You didn’t realize the meaning behind the nickname until she explained it to you

-And once you did, the name meant so much more to you

-Will helped you pick out a matching necklace set of two butterflies

-You gave it to her after a case and she cried, knowing exactly what it’s meaning was

“Thank you Bug, I love it”

-She never took that necklace off, ever

Taglist

@ssebstann @peachyprincessss @emmy-writes-sometimes @dudele @kerrswriting @laura-naruto-fan1998 @multifamdomfan12 @aquariuslavenderhoney @rafehogwarts

[mikauzoran]

Adrienette and DJ WiFi: Deception (One-Shot)

Summary: A game of two truths and a lie unexpectedly reveals Adrien’s identity when he tells a truth that only Ladybug should know.

Read it on AO3: Adrienette and DJ WiFi: Deception

“I was going easy on you,” Alya grumbled, petulantly throwing a piece of popcorn at Nino when he guessed which of her three statements had been the lie.

“No, you weren’t,” Nino crowed smugly. “I’m just that good.”

Alya rolled her eyes and nearly shoved her boyfriend into the Dupain-Chengs’ coffee table. “Take your turn already.”

Nino cleared his throat and sat up straighter as he announced, “I’ve seen Jaws thirty-four times. My first kiss was at the zoo. If I couldn’t be a DJ or a film director, I’d want to be a therapist.”

His companions narrowed their eyes, trying to ascertain which claim was untrue.

Alya bit her lip as she realized that she wasn’t sure if she had been Nino’s first kiss or not.

“There’s no way you’ve watched that awful shark movie thirty-four times,” she guessed, mentally crossing her fingers.

Marinette snickered. “His first kiss was at school when we were five. He made Juleka cry when he kissed Rose on the cheek.”

“Rascal,” Alya accused, laughing as she slapped Nino on the arm.

Nino shrugged and smiled sheepishly. “She told me the way I talked was pretty. It meant a lot to five-year-old Nino. People had always teased me, so it was a big deal.”

“Why did people tease you?” Adrien inquired, a deep crease in his brow. “Did you have a speech impediment when you were little?”

Nino shook his head. “The first couple years of my life in Morocco, I spoke mainly Arabic. It was weird speaking in French all the time.”

Alya and Adrien’s mouths and eyes formed wide circles of surprise.

Nino shrugged again. “Marinette, your turn.”

Marinette bit her lip, trying to come up with some good ones. “I…have been sky diving.”

Or close enough what with jumping off the Eiffel Tower and falling out of the sky multiple times.

“I’m not a good cook…and my favourite Jagged Stone song is Rock and Roll, Baby.”

She grinned at her friends, looking from one to the next expectantly.

“I call bull on the sky diving,” Alya decreed.

Marinette made a buzzer sound. “Nope. Guess again.”

“Wait. Seriously?!” Alya stared at her best friend incredulously. “When’d you go sky diving?!”

“Akuma fight,” Marinette snickered.

Alya groaned and rolled her eyes while Nino held out his fist to Marinette for a fist bump.

“The song is actually called Wanna Rock and Roll, Baby,” Adrien remarked confidently, “but you stopped listening to Jagged’s music three years ago.”

Marinette gave Adrien a round of applause. “We have a winner!”

“Nice, Mec,” Nino added appreciatively as Alya continued to pout.

“Your turn, Cupcake,” Alya urged. “Make it good.”

Adrien’s teeth kneaded his bottom lip as he considered his options. “…Okay. I’ve got some good ones. I adore Camembert. I speak five languages at at least a conversational level…and I’ve kissed Ladybug.”

Nino winced, reaching out a hand to rest on Adrien’s shoulder as he kindly informed, “My Bro, the point of the game is to not make the lie so obvious.”

“There’s no way you’ve kissed Ladybug,” Alya snickered. “My turn.”

“That wasn’t the lie,” Adrien protested.

Alya and Nino took turns blinking at him.

Marinette went uncharacteristically still.

“Wait. What?” Nino’s brow scrunched up into a befuddled frown.

“You’ve kissed Ladybug?!” Alya demanded. “Oh my gosh. Details!”

Blushing, Adrien looked away. “It was an akuma kiss,” he confessed sheepishly. “It doesn’t really count, and I don’t even remember it.”

Marinette’s ears perked up as realization dawned on her, leaving her speechless and struggling to remember how to breathe.

The incident quickly blew over when it became clear that Adrien had no more details to share, and Alya suggested that they watch the short movie Nino had made with his university film club.

When everyone was getting ready to head home for the night, Marinette tentatively reached out and rested a hand on Adrien’s elbow. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Sure,” Adrien agreed unsuspectingly as he waved goodbye to Nino and Alya. “What’s up?”

Marinette gently pushed the door shut and took a bolstering inhale. “You…You said you’d kissed Ladybug during an akuma attack.”

Adrien winced, his cheeks quickly heating up in embarrassment. “Yeah, but, I mean… Not really. I—”

“—Adrien, I’ve only ever kissed one person during an akuma attack,” she pressed on resolutely. “So, if you’ve kissed me…that would mean you’re…” She swallowed, looking up into his rapidly widening eyes. “…Chaton?”

“…My Lady?” he breathed.

She nodded, a shy smile peeking out of the corner of her lips. “You know…sometime, I’d like to take you out to dinner, and, maybe afterwards, we could share a kiss that we’ll both remember? Would you like that?”

Adrien gulped. “I’d love that, Buguinette.”

[haikyunicorn]

⋇ kiss and make up [semi eita x reader]

pairing(s): semi eita x reader

genre: angst with a happy ending, friends to lovers, roommates au

warning(s): like 2 curse words

word count: 2.91k

requested by: @dorkyhaikyu

Semi Eita has been in a mood recently. You know it isn’t an unusual occurrence - he tends to be a little sulky or wants to be left alone if he’s had a bad day - but his fits usually only last for a few hours at most, not a whole week.

You are at a loss. You’ve known Semi for almost 7 years now, ever since you both attended Shiratorizawa and you signed up to be the manager of the volleyball club during your first year, and Semi had never acted this way towards you before. Being in the same year, you, Semi, Tendou, Ushijima and Reon easily formed a tight-knit friendship, often eating lunch or walking back to the dorms together.

Though, somewhere along the three years you spent together, your feelings had sort of developed into something a little more than friendly adoration for the grey-haired setter. You never ended up acknowledging those feelings, fearing it would only ruin your relationship not only with him, but with the other third years as well. So you shoved them deep down in your heart and tried your best to not let it consume you. Even if Tendou had tried multiple times to corner you and confront you about your tiny crush  (you’d been staring too long, cheering too loud or being too kind for it to be just friendly gestures, he says), you stood your ground each time and adamantly denied his suspicions. Besides, Semi had never once shown any signs of reciprocating your feelings, so you figured you shouldn’t baselessly act on it and embarrass yourself.

Still, it hadn’t been a difficult decision to agree on sharing an apartment when you and Semi were accepted into the same college a few hours away. Firstly, it would eliminate the need to find a new roommate altogether and secondly, the both of you already knew each other - you were practically best friends, after all - so you didn’t have to worry about getting along with new roommates.

And it’s proven to be a great idea, so far. You get to spend more time with Semi, bearing the struggles of college work together, and the two of you are each other’s definitions of the perfect roommate. Neither of you have any annoying habits, you get your chores done, you have weekly movie nights, and you take care of each other. The only downside you could think of is that it doesn't exactly help you with the feelings you’ve been secretly harboring for him, but you’ve managed to keep it under wraps so far. Overall, you could say it’s the best college roommate situation you could ask for.

That is, until this week.

Normally, you would leave Semi alone for the few hours of his bad mood, maybe order in his favourite food or let him choose a film for movie night to appease him, and he would be his usual self in no time at all.

However, this obviously isn’t ‘normally’ any longer. Eita has been giving you the cold shoulder since Monday, only replying to your questions with short yes’s and no’s whenever you tried to make conversation with him before returning to his room and avoiding you again. You don’t think he’s exchanged more than 10 words with you for the past 6 days and honestly, you are starting to get fed up with his attitude, but you decide to give it one last try.

It’s Saturday, meaning it’s supposed to be movie night. Semi has yet to leave his room the whole day, at least not while you aren’t in your own room. Determined, you walk up to his room and knock on the door three times.

“Eita, you there?” you call out, hovering right by the door to catch his answer.

His reply comes in the form of faint shuffling from the other side, followed by a monotonous “What?”

“It’s movie night. You wanna choose a movie?”

It’s silent for a few seconds.

“No, thanks. I’m tired tonight.”

For a moment, you freeze, not believing what you had just heard. Movie night had been a ritual that the both of you have never skipped out on unless it was absolutely necessary, such as during the exam week or when one of you happened to not be home. However, you know him well enough to know he definitely hasn’t had a busy schedule for the past few weeks that would exhaust him out of movie night. You snap out of your shock and scoff.

“Tired of what? You haven’t even done anything all day. Come out and talk to me, Semi Eita!” you snap back at him, the frustration that has been building up evident in your raised voice.

To your surprise, the door instantly click open to reveal Semi standing in front of you, a scowl on his face. “I told you I’m tired, am i not allowed to be tired now?”

“Look, I get you’re mad at something or even at me - you’re not the best at hiding your feelings, Eita - but, the least you could do is talk to me about it instead of moping around in your pissy mood all week.” The frown on your face now matching his as you all but growl your words at him.

Semi rolls his eyes and looks away from you. “It’s nothing, stop worrying about it.”

You cock an eyebrow at his weak response. “Cut the crap, Eita, I know you better than that. If it’s nothing, then you wouldn’t have ignored me for 6 days straight.”

“I don’t have to tell you everything that’s going on in my life, Y/N,” he shoots back.

“You always have before! For fuck’s sake, we’re best friends,” you argue, sighing before continuing your mini rant, “This thing is obviously bothering you, so as your friend, I’d like to help you. But I can’t do that if you won’t even be in the same room as me for more than two seconds.”

“Well, maybe we’re not as good friends as you think we are.”

You couldn’t stop the flash of pain in your chest or the tears beginning to collect behind your eyes as you clench your jaw. On a different day, maybe you would have continued to fight back against his statement, insisting that he tell you the truth. But the combination of his burning anger seething through his words and his cold treatment for the past few days is enough to render your speechless.

Unable to formulate an answer - and afraid you would actually start crying if you do - you wordlessly shake your head at him and take quick steps to your own room. You slam the door shut and immediately crawl onto your bed, throwing the sheets over yourself as you finally let the first tear escape. It doesn’t take long before the dam breaks and you have to shove your face into your pillow to muffle your sobs. A few minutes later, you hear the door to Semi’s room finally close.

That night, the living room remains dark and silent, the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table left untouched.

After the incident, both you and Semi avoid each other like the plague. You deliberately leave the apartment 20 minutes later than usual each morning for your classes to make sure you wouldn’t run into him, sometimes even skipping breakfast in order to do so, and you head straight back after your classes to hide in your room, only coming out to get meals when you know for sure Semi isn’t in the living room or kitchen. It’s a hassle - you’re messing up your sleeping and eating schedules - but you can’t bring yourself to face him. You’re not sure if you can’t or if you just don’t want to.

Deep inside, you know Semi’s words were just something he said in the heat of the moment and couldn’t be farther from the truth, but it doesn’t mean it hurt you any less. You have always confided your troubles in him and vice versa. Neither of you would let negative feelings fester between the two of you and any fights or arguments would be resolved quickly. But, this whole spat has been going on for two weeks and counting now, and it is decidedly much worse than the one-sided silent treatment from Semi that had initially sparked the dispute.

And you can’t help but begin to think that what Semi said was the truth - that he truly doesn’t consider you as close a friend as you thought you were. And how could you not wonder? After all, he hasn’t made any effort to talk to you at all.

You don’t know whether it’s a good or bad thing when you slip up one day.

The next time you and Semi are in each other’s presence is in the kitchen. You are home alone and fixing a meal for your dinner, thinking you have at least an hour before Semi returns. Left with your own thoughts to entertain you, you find yourself thinking back to the dreaded night, causing you to grimace as a painful throbbing starts up again in your chest. You notice that it’s been happening a lot ever since the argument.

Deep in your thoughts, you fail to hear the sound of the front door opening and closing or the movement of your roommate as he enters the apartment until it’s too late. You swiftly turn around to see Semi, eyes as wide as your own, standing in front of the kitchen doorway and already staring back at you. The both of you are frozen in place, unknowingly holding your breaths. It’s a comical sight, really; one you would laugh at if it were happening to someone else.

You are the first to avert your gaze, once again turning to face the stove without saying anything to him, praying he would ignore you as he had been doing for the past few weeks.

No such luck.

“Y/N.” Semi cleared his throat. You can hear the nerves in his tone, making his voice waver just slightly.

Your breath hitches once again in your throat, making you halt in the middle of stirring your pot. Other than that, you don’t indicate any signs of acknowledging him.

Semi is hesitant to approach you. He has been feeling like utter shit for weeks - ever since he started to brush you off in the first place. It was nothing but his dumb, unchecked feelings and his even dumber actions that threw you both in this situation. He doesn’t remember the last time the both of you had been this distant - no, he realises, you never have. Not since you walked up to him almost 7 years ago and introduced yourself as the new manager of the Shiratorizawa boy’s volleyball club, causing his heart to stutter as he shook your hand and gave you his name. You have only grown closer since then.

Semi sucks in a deep breath at your lack of reaction and braves himself to step closer. His chest tightens when he sees you tense up as you sense his advance towards you and he stops halfway to you. “Y/N,” he tries again.

Still no reply.

Slowly, he takes a few more steps, until you’re within arms’ reach of him. “Y/N.” His voice is much softer now, almost begging. His hand instinctively reaches out to you but pauses, hanging between the both of you.

You’re stuck on what you should do. Most of you wants to run off and scurry back into your room, but a tiny part of you wants so badly to stay and hear him out, to make amends with Semi Eita and forget this stupid fight already. You continue to look down, willing your heart to stop beating so rapidly.

Or at least you try to. The feeling of Semi’s hand brushing against your shoulder only makes your heart pound quicker.

“Can we talk?” Semi asks, uncharacteristically quiet of him.

You want to shrug his hand off and walk away, leave him in the kitchen and give him a taste of his own medicine. But, you suppose it wouldn’t fix anything and it wouldn’t bring the Semi Eita you love so much back to you. So you dare yourself to switch off the stove and face him instead, keeping your face expressionless as you wait for him to continue.

Semi squirms under your unreadable gaze. He knows he has to fix this now if he ever wants things to be normal again. He’s struggling, though, to find the right words and he’s worrying if would be enough or if it could make things worse or if you’ll ever forgive him or-

“I’m sorry,” Semi blurts out, his own voice surprising himself. He swallows a lump in his throat, trying to gauge your reaction and failing as your expression remains the same. He takes it as a sign for him to continue, and the words just tumble out of him in a flurry. “I’m sorry I was being a dick. I had no reason to, and it just escalated and I should’ve stopped it before it’s too late. And I’m sorry for what I said and for apologising so late and-”

He’s cut off by your sigh, instantly shutting him up. He thinks his heart could stop any second now, his lower lip caught in between his teeth as he anticipates your response.

“Did you mean it?”

Semi’s heart drops. He was expecting you to scold him, snap at him, or even yell at him. Any of those, he thinks, would be better than the frail words that escaped you, doubting how much you mean to him.

“No. None of it. You are my best friend. I shouldn’t have treated you like that,” he states firmly. “Please believe me, Y/N. You mean so much to me.”

You somehow manage to maintain eye contact with him. “So why did you do it?”

Semi falters. His mind knew exactly why he did it, but the words can’t leave the tip of his tongue.

The silence hangs in the air for a whole minute before you sigh again and turn around to leave, heart heavy and disappointed at his reply, or lack thereof. However, you don’t make it two steps away before a hand is wrapping around your wrist and tugging you back, making you crash into him. Before he knows it, the panic bubbling in his throat causes Semi to launch into another speech, letting the words spill out once again without a filter.

“It’s stupid,” Semi frantically tells you, looking you in the eyes, “it’s so goddamn stupid. I- I heard that guy you’ve been doing your project with confessed to you. And I couldn’t stand that when I heard it.”

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. “What- Why-”

“I’m in love with you.”

It’s silent again before Semi continues.

“I’m so in love with you, Y/N. God, I’ve been in love with you for the past 6 years, I was just too scared to say it. And I know now that I should’ve said something sooner instead of blowing up on you and hurting you. You don’t deserve that, I’m sorry.” He exhales and opts to look at his hand, still holding onto you. His grip loosens. “I’m sorry I’ve ruined this friendship, too. The last thing I want is to lose you but I guess I went and did that anyway, huh?” he chuckles humorlessly, his voice trailing off at the end of his sentence. “I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore.”

“You’re an idiot, Semi Eita.” Your words cause him to look back up at you and his heart clenches at the tears brimming your eyes.

“I’m sor-”

Semi is cut off, but this time it was by you grabbing the front of his shirt, pulling him close to you and smashing your lips together. The shock only lasts half a second before Semi is kissing back with as much need as you are. The warmth blooms in his chest as your lips continue to capture each other’s perfectly and his body moves on its own to pull you closer into him. His mind couldn’t register any thoughts besides oh my god, this is what he’s been wanting for so long and it’s finally happening.

You pull away breathlessly, trying to catch your breath as you laugh lightly at the puzzled expression on Semi’s face. The both of you remain in the same position though, with your hands resting on his chest and his arms around your waist, holding you flush against him.

“Eita, that guy did ask me out,” you start, “but I turned him down. Because I was in love with someone else, too.”

You smile genuinely, for the first time in a while. “Semi Eita, I’m in love with you, too,” you finally declare. It feels like a weight has been lifted off your chest and in its place is the pure love and affection you have for him.

Semi laughs in relief. His mind is still reeling at your words and what just happened. All he can do is hug you tighter and bury his face into the crook of your neck. “I love you,” he murmurs, “so much.” He pulls away to look at you once more, a huge, goofy grin plastered across his face.

“Will you be mine, Y/N?”

note: oh my godd this is the longest thing i’ve written on here and i CANNOT come up with a better title i hate it :) i tried writing this in present tense instead of past tense like i usually do, so forgive me if there are a few slip ups. hope you enjoyed this!

[ taglist: @eitadesu​ ]

[shelbazoidz]

This show will be the death of me. I said, I SAID, so many times last year I wouldn’t get involved with this show again but I really just wanted to write Lena getting back together with everyone for the first time again. So fuck it. 

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Welcome Back 

Lena does not fidget.

 Well, at least in front of other people. Her fingers picked at the edge of her sweater as she looked down at the text. 

“Want to come over for movie night?” 

Her nerves creep in as she looks at the message. The idea of doing something normal with friends seemed like it was so out of reach months ago. Now here she was debating how to reply to Kara’s texts. She knows Kara wouldn’t have invited her if everyone didn’t want her to come. But she still couldn’t help the nagging feeling that she was going to be intruding. As if she could sense Lena’s hesitance another text popped up. 

“It's me, Nia, Kelly, Alex and Brainy. Nia picked the movie so we're watching Death Becomes Her. Have you seen it? ” Lena’s heart clutches as her eyes scan the text. She quickly types out a response before she can overthink this. 

“I haven’t seen it but I’d love to watch it when you all.” Only a few seconds pass before there’s a reply. 

“Awesome! We’re starting at 7. See ya then!” 

Seven o’clock came so fast, Lena barely had any time to talk herself into not going. The entire ride there her mind was riddled with worse case scenarios. As the thoughts swirled in her head the elevator dinged, the two doors sliding open. Her fingers toyed with the buttons of her jacket as she looked down the brightly lit hallway. It should be easy to just walk in, right? The sounds of hearty laughter float down the hallway and Lena took a steadying breath. 

This was going to be fine.  

Her body eventually moved forward, taking slow steps down the hall until she stopped in front of the familiar door. More happy chatter could be heard as her hand raised for a tentative knock. It died down slightly when the door finally opened, revealing Kara who wore bright smile. 

“Hey you.” Her gentle tone forced away some of the insecurities Lena felt but not completely .  

“Hi.” Her voice was small. Kara’s brows came together as she looked at Lena’s worried expression. She looked back at everyone chatting in the living room before shutting the door behind them. 

“Are you alright?” Kara asked once they were alone. 

“I’m fine. I...just. I don’t know.” Her thoughts were muddled and confusing, she wasn’t sure how to express it. 

“You’re worried.” Kara said while she reached out to take one of Lena’s hands, Lena immediately looked down at the contact. In fear that she had crossed some kind of line, Kara started to let go but Lena held on. 

“I am. I’m scared everyone is going to hate me.” Answering honestly was the right thing to do but the words were difficult to get out. 

“Lena.” Kara’s hands rubbed up her arms, the warmth in her expression made Lena want to burst into tears. “No one hates you. I swear. If there were still problems I wouldn’t have had everyone over today. We’ve apologized so many times to each other. Let’s just have a nice evening with our friends? Alright?”

“Okay. I’d like that.” Lena sniffed, trying to keep it together. 

“And no crying because if you start I will too.” Her hand came up to cup Lena’s cheek, heart fluttering when Lena laughed.  

“I can’t guarantee that but I’ll try.”

“That’s all I ask.” Kara smiled before chewing on her lip as she debated if she was going to ask the next question. She wasn’t sure if they were there yet but she decided to just ask anyways.  “...And maybe if you’re up for it, when everyone's heads out later you can finish telling about that book you were reading? I never got to hear how it ended.”

Lena lit up at the mention of the book she’d been reading a few months ago. Kara was always eager to listen whenever Lena told her about the newest book she was reading. When they had time, Lena used to read a few chapters while Kara listened. She would be enraptured as she absorbed every sentence and the smooth tone of Lena’s voice.  They both desperately missed the little tradition.

“You’re going to be pissed when I tell you how it ends.” Lena grinned. 

“It was that bad?” 

“You’ll have to find out later.” She teased. 

“That’s cruel.” Kara smiled back, feeling Lena’s fingers unconsciously toy with hers as they looked at one another. The door suddenly cracked open, Alex’s head poking out. 

“Hey you two! If you take any longer we’re going to start without you. And Hi, Lena.” She smiled at Lena who gave her a slightly stiff nod in return. 

“Hi, sorry about the wait. We’ll be in in a second.” Lena replied and Alex shook her head before ducking back in the apartment. 

“You ready?” Kara asked, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. 

“Yes, let's do this.” 

All Lena’s thoughts and doubts faded as soon as she entered the apartment. There was no malice or underlying irritation with her presence. Everyone greeted her happily including her in whatever they were chattering about until Nia shushed them all because the movie was starting.

“Let this one be better than the last you picked.” Brainy commented at the opening credits.

“Oh my god! I picked one bad movie and you’ll never let me live it down.” Nia sighed, nudging him with her shoulder. Nia made eye contact with Lena, rolling her eyes in fake annoyance with Brainy. Lena smiled soft back, shaking her head as the movie continued. She sat on the couch next to Kelly with Kara sitting on the floor in front of her. At some point during the movie her hand started playing with one of the long blonde curls. Kara leaned back a little further, enjoying the touch as the movie played. The comments the group made during the film nearly made Lena choke on her wine from laughing on multiple occasions. 

Movie night somehow turned into a partial game night once the film ended. Lena knew they were all competitive when it came to games but it was a little out of control tonight. Somehow a simple game of catch phrase had everyone shouting and screaming at one another. Kelly and Alex were the most terrifying out of the group but it was all good fun.

“I am not being a sore loser.” Brainy grumbled as Kelly grinned at him. 

“I think you are just a little bit.” Kelly teased. Before he could reply Alex stopped them. 

“Okay, before this gets even more out of hand I think we’re going to hit the road.” Alex pulled her slightly tipsy girlfriend off the couch before she and Brainy could keep bickering. 

“Fine fine.” Kelly gave Alex a quick kiss on her cheek before pulling Lena into a hug.

“Are you coming next week too?” She asked, receiving a happy nod from Lena. 

“I wouldn’t miss it.” Lena was surprised at how excited she was at the thought. God she missed this. Both Alex and Nia gave her a tight hug as well before they left, Brainy settling for a slightly awkward handshake. But he was equally happy to have Lena back in their group. The door clicked shut, leaving Kara and Lena alone.   

“So about that book, you gotta tell me now!” Kara gleefully pulled Lena back over to the couch. 

“Okay okay I won’t keep you waiting. In the eighteenth chapter there-” Her sentence was cut off when Kara turned sharply towards the window. “Something wrong?”

“Yeah, there’s an emergency. I can hear it.” Kara sighed. 

“Well go take care of it, it's fine. I can...wait here?” She said unsurely. 

“That’d be great. I shouldn’t be gone long. Just umm-ah..make yourself at home and I’ll be back. You know where everything is and if I’m gone for more than an hour just-” She could feel herself starting to ramble and thankfully Lena stopped her. 

“Go save the city. I’ll be fine. I promise.” She patted Kara’s thigh to get her to calm down. 

“Okay. Well, I’ll be back.” In a flash Kara was in her suit, Lena stared in wonder. It was still amazing how fast she was. With one more wave Kara shot off into the night. 

Lena kept herself busy while Kara was gone, deciding to watch a documentary. She was in the middle of brewing some tea when the windows breezed open again. Kara picked at a few leaves in her hair as she walked over. 

“How’d it go?” Lena asked.

“Fine, just a very upset alien. But we talked it out.” She shrugged casually. Her eyes finally looked to Lena who was staring at her. “What?” 

“Nothing!” Lena replied quickly, feeling her face heat at being caught staring. That damned suit was going to be the death of her. “Tea?” She asked, feeling Kara’s eyes still on her. 

“I’d love some.” In a flash, Kara was back in her comfortable clothes and accepted a mug from Lena’s hands. They made their way back over to the couch, sitting close together as they propped their feet up on the coffee table.

“Now do you want to try this again?” Lena asked as she got comfortable. 

“Yes!” Kara replied eagerly, tossing a blanket over their legs. 

“You’re not going to be happy.” Lena chuckled at the impatient noise Kara made. 

“Stop stalling.” She whined. 

“Alright alright. The eighteenth chapter starts with them finding out their father lied.”

“What!” Kara shouted and Lena laughed harder. 

“I know. I know.” She giggled, meeting Kara’s gaze. 

Kara let out a wistful sight before speaking. “I missed this.” She said softly as she rested her head on Lena’s shoulder. 

“Me too.” She resisted the urge to kiss the top of Kara’s head, although she swore she saw a faint blush on Kara’s cheeks. Ignoring the longing in her soul she continued with the story. “After we find out their father lied, they decide to go deeper into the mansion in investigate.” She held in a laugh as Kara let out another frustrated noise. It was late into the evening by the time Lena finished telling her how the book ended. Kara had turned on one of her comfort shows to make up for the book's terrible ending. The pair stayed cuddled close to one another on the couch as they drifted off, fingers intertwined while they slept. 

[notafraidofstopping876]

Just some random thoughts on the Dear Evan Hansen movie...

Below the cut for anyone who cares to read....

So I’ve listened to the cast album several times and watched a slime tutorial but have yet to see it onstage....and I have a very long history of mental health problems both within myself and within my family, so that’s where I was coming in...

Overall I was pretty happy with it and definitely cried, this is just literally a random thought dump 

*Seeing Evan at the beginning with his twitching and racing thoughts and nervousness made me feel SO SEEN.(I have severe anxiety and depression myself)

*Was Ben Platt probably too old for this role? Probably. But his performance was truly incredible and I’m glad it was preserved in this way.

*Honestly I did not feel as bad for Evan as I thought I would....really and truly after the lies began I didn’t feel hardly any sympathy for him at all. I didn’t even cry during “Words Fail” just because I felt zero sympathy for him after the lying and manipulating.

*Sincerely Me was very well filmed.

*Alana was a lot more sympathetic. I loved her new song, Amanda did a killer job. And I understand more now why Alana posted Connor’s letter, but it still doesn’t excuse it.

*Acting was good all around. Best performance I’ve ever seen Amy Adams or Julianne Moore give. Singing was also good all around, usually once Hollywood casting takes hold of a musical there’s one “singer” who sticks out like a sore thumb (looking at you Russel Crowe and Pierce Bronson) but everybody sounded good.

*I cried for the first time during “Requiem” just because that song always hits way too close to home. Long story short a family member was in and out of the hospital after multiple suicide attempts in a two year period so....yeah 

*LOVED seeing Demarius Copes, even briefly. I’d met him several times because of Newsies on tour and I loved getting to see him on the big screen. 

*Second cry was “You Will Be Found” just seeing how many people were bonded together and uplifted

*When Cynthia said to Larry “Because he wasn’t yours” I audibly gasped. Like, shit. 

*Third and biggest cry was “So Big So Small” because of course it was. May have reminded me too much of my Mom caring for me during my episodes. 

*The resolution of the movie was SO WELL EXECUTED. It solved my biggest problem with the stage show: that Evan never faced consequences for what he did. The fact that he openly admitted what he did and was shunned for it, and then the fact that he actively tried to make things right as best he could by getting to know who Conner really made him a lot more redeemable to me.

*THE VIDEO OF CONNER AND THE GUITAR I LITERALLY GASPED. THAT WRECKED ME. 

Overall I was pretty happy with it....but I will say that while I think it’s great that Dear Evan Hansen is bringing up conversations about suicide and mental health, and I think it’s great that so many people find hope/catharsis in it....I don’t know if it necessarily does that for me.

That’s just me personally, I’m not saying it’s bad. But even when the musical came out, even in that Tony season, there were shows that I found even more cathartic and beautiful (like Come From Away) and shows that I also felt dealt with trauma and mental illness in a meaningful way (Bandstand and even to an extent Anastasia) and it irritates me that so many of those shows were brushed aside because of Dear Evan Hansen’s popularity.

So while I don’t think I’ll ever go out of my way to see the musical onstage, I’m glad the movie exists and I’m glad I watched it. But I don’t think I’ll ever rewatch it multiple times like with the Come From Away proshot.(For the record that musical made me UGLY CRY and belly laugh and made me feel every human emotion that is possible in a ninety minute time span)