#brave but it's not going to protect you from the fallout

[sysmedsaresexist]

These (completely unfounded) conspiracy theories are wild

[witsserviceablesubstitute]

I don’t think the harassment is acceptable. I think people are really out of pocket doing that, but I do think him establishing what is and isn’t part of his job is fine. And maybe did need to be said, because clearly people didn’t know.

As for using Buddie as promo… idk. The marketing team is gonna do whatever ABC feels will garner the most viewers, and right now it’s Buck being bi and the long held desire to see him and Eddie become canon. They’re gonna milk it however they can, which falls back on Tim, thus him feelings like he needed to explain himself, presumably.

I do agree it could be toned down though, because Buck is now canonically dating someone else, and I don’t recall them teasing Buddie for real when he was with women. So doing it now the way they are is purely because they’re banking on Buddie fans, while also currently not committing.

Plus, everything Buddie related from before has to now be assumed not canon, so it’s putting everyone in a messy spot. Because we have canon, fanon, show runner confirmed but not on screen, and canon jokes that are now floating in the in between because no one knows if the they’ll be acknowledged in canon or get scrapped.

I think people should just calm down and wait to see what the season brings, anyway. Once it’s over and we get an idea of where all the characters are at, then start asking bigger questions or letting out the more angry frustrations.

Hi! Sorry for the late reply. The sheer amount of work that goes into television hasn't often been well realized in fan spaces. The writing, how it translates to screen, the process of acting, all the work by the crew, the pressures from moneymen, managing the expectations of the audience, the long hours and repetition of scenes. How multiple people working on a creative project means multiple interpretations— all of which bleed through. The showrunner has every right to protect himself and the people who work for him. I was mainly trying to draw on my own experiences in how these harassment campaigns happen, how they continue, and how they can be mitigated.

US TV production has a long and rocky history when it comes to queer narratives. That doesn't really end now that there are canonically queer characters on screen and this fallout is part of the response to that tension.

For example, if I engage in the whole Buddie vs. Bucktommy thing (sorry), I'd say both perspectives have a point they don't realize they're making about queerness in television storytelling.

The thesis I feel like Buddie fans are making is there are two queer coded main characters who love each other, who have seasons of build up in their individual characters and in their relationship. Why can't they be together? Because they're two male main characters on network television? Be bold, be brave. Wouldn't it be amazing if they did commit to that story? Wouldn't it be game changing? Sexuality and friendship and love is not set in stone, it's okay to be flexible. M/F relationships are allowed that space to develop within a story and you know if one of them were a woman they probably would be together already.

The thesis I feel like BuckTommy fans are making is that Buddie was never going to happen, realistically, and it's amazing enough that they committed to Buck being canonically bisexual. Why do you want to rock the boat? Don't you see that if you can't embrace this development it could be snatched away at any moment. The show is its own thing within its own context and not the blinkered interpretation you have of two characters. This queerness is canon.

Those two thesis's (thesi?) are rubbing up against each other and building straw men of the other to attack and tear down. A showrunner wading in was only ever going to combust that tension further and that's what happened. What keeps happening.

[safetycar-restart]

Poly Piarles but make it a/b/o. Alpha Pierre and omega bunny would be so chaotic bless them. What happens with their heats?? Do they take a while to sync up? Maybe the first time Pierre goes into heat around bunny he tries to lock himself away, scared he’ll hurt Charles as he’s never been in close proximity to an omega during his heat before. You have to deal with the fallout, trying to assure Pierre he isn’t a bad alpha (he keeps calling himself that) and that you know he can control himself. And of course bunny in heat would be the whiniest little thing, he literally always has to have someone touching him or he’ll start sobbing. And where do you fit in? Are you a beta or an alpha? Much to think about hehe

Oooo this is so interesting?? I've said I wanted to talk about more a/b/o so this is just so so good.

I know I usually write alpha!reader, but I actually think beta!reader might be very interesting here? Cause it's like... Charles and Pierre have been fuck buddies before, maybe they've even tried a relationship before. But they're instincts are both SO intense and they need SO much from each other and it just doesn't work?

But then you show up, a calm beta, someone who can be in control without instincts raging, someone to control them and guide them and then it works?

So yeah, I actually think you being a beta might be the best. You're their dom, but you don't have the same reactions to their hormones and scents so you're able to keep a calm head and guide them.

I totally agree that Pierre wouldn't want Charles near for his rut at first. Maybe Pierre had helped Charles through a heat before? Charles had just broken up with his alpha at the time and was about to go into heat and he called Pierre crying because he didnt want to go through it alone but Pierre was the only one he trusted to help.

Of course there was no way Pierre could turn him down.

Pierre very nearly lost control when he helped Charles, maybe nearly biting him? He still hasn't forgiven himself for that and he wont allow Charles near him in rut because if he does that when Charles is the one going through a cycle, he doesn't even want to think about what he might do if he's the one going through a cycle.

Poor bunny is heartbroken when he hears this. Because what... why... why doesn't his alpha want his alpha? Is he bad? Is he a bad omega? Is he not good enough?

He tries to keep a brave face when Pierre tells him, but the moment Pierre leaves the room he just starts sobbing. He throws himself in your arms, asking what he can do to make himself a better omega, to make himself good enough for Pierre.

You shush him and kiss his forehead, promising him that Pierre is just worried about hurting him and about not being able to control himself. Those reassurances fall on deaf ears though, because Charles had been thinking about helping Pierre through his rut for SO long, long before the relationship even started.

And Pierre doesn't want him? He's so sad and confused, begging you to make it all better because he can't even think anymore.

(The poor thing would have already brought special blankets for a special nest and everything, he was so ready to be the best omega ever for his Pierre and now... now he isn't wanted?)

He asks you if Pierre will at least have you there. If his Pierre won't let him help, then you need to be there to help. Charles can't stand the thought of Pierre being all alone for his rut.

You go speak to Pierre of course, and whack him over the head when he tells you that he's trying to protect Charles. Thats your job, you protect and control the two of them and they just have to listen to you.

You know that Pierre will always listen to you, even if he hates it and really doesn't want to, even if he's in rut. You aren't worried about charles's safety because you'll be there, meanwhile Pierre is being a stubborn alpha who needs to get a reality check and realise his omega isn't made of glass.

You make them talk it out, sitting on the sidelines and watching as Pierre explains that he nearly mated Charles when he helped Charles through his heat last time and is scared of what he might do in rut.

Meanwhile Charles, bless him, simply hears 'bite' and goes all soft and gooey because... alpha... alpha wants to bite him?? He's good enough for that?

Obviously this is not the point Pierre was trying to make, but Charles couldn't care less about what Pierre was trying to say. You laugh as he throws himself in pierre's arms, purring and making grabby hands for you to join the cuddle pile.

Needless to say in the end, Charles is there for pierre's rut and as are you. You look after them both, make sure they bring enough water and get enough attention and eat enough food and that Pierre isn't too rough while still getting what he needs.

And honestly, its so good? It's the best rut Pierre has ever had, and he knows he never wants to go through one without both you and Charles.

As for charles's heats, yeah he's so needy. He always needs to be touched and cuddled and kisses, even when he's in a lull of his heat and not painfully turned on, he still needs cuddles otherwise he'll just dissolve into a pile of tears. He calls for both of you, not just Pierre and he actually won't let Pierre knot him until you're there. He needs both his mates, always.

We really need to discuss this more.

[mochiwrites]

ive just finished catching up on night life and wow! oh gosh!! theres so much to process and so many questions!!! what happened with the last human mumbo was close to? whos the murderer? what exactly is scar being hired to do? whats scars past? wtf is up with scott? did scar set up that illusion with the house fire in the most recent chapter or scott? both?? why????

even if scar does all this to protect tub, wheres the guarantee that scott doesnt just pop in and take him anyways? i doubt theres so much as a drop of honor in that creepy, creepy man. what if scar gets found out and mumbo and grian are betrayed so they stop talking, then scott gets taken by tubs so scar's left alone, and goes to mumbo and grian for help which they ultimately give because how could they deny a friend in need?? WHAT ABOUT PEARL???

oh my gosh PEARL!! im so concerned for her. im so scared for her. if something happens to her ill kill everyone in the fic and then myself /ref

also taurtis?? id assumed he'd died, then grian had some self thinking about taurtis might be dead and now im convinced hes gonna come back somehow?? but how? or am i overthinking this and he IS dead? god poor dude

GRIAN. LORDY LORD how on earth so much guilt can fit in such a tiny man baffles me. at the same time something about him being human and objectively weaker in all this really resonates with me. his desire to be useful and of equal standing. ouch. doesnt hit any weak spots for me there no not at all.

im also very unhealthily in love with this version of mumbo. id die for him a million times over.

the worldbuilding is incredible!! it's a lot but i feel like its being incorporated in a way that isnt overwhelming so we're able to follow along with everything pretty well! plus, the fact that a lot of it is from grian's (very confused) perspective makes him work really well as a sort of source of information for readers! its great!!

i am just. overall very. wow. looking forward to future updates. very much looking forward to that. keep up the incredible work!!

ehehe henlo!! :D

many questions to be had !!! I want to answer all of them SO bad oh man. but I am being so brave and not spoiling *vigorous nodding* some of these answers Are coming soon though!!

scar’s motivations, in a broad and general sense, are really intriguing to consider in this au. he’s someone who’s never been human operating on fae morals while mingling with humans. so there’s this really interesting clash of ideals and goals going on. but if he’s not careful, the fallout could be… messy. extremely messy.

:)

PEARL AND TAURTIS OUGH… taurtis was put on a VERY interesting character path, and let me tell you it was. A major struggle trying to figure out how much of his story to put in the limelight. because taurtis is technically living in a different town while going through stuff and the path that leads him to the arachne is all going on in the background fbfbfbfg but 👀 in regards to his status… who knows! and PEARL… I cradle her So gently in my hands, I care her so much. I am so sorry

and ACK I’ve talked about grian and his humanity and the connection it has to everyone and the story drives me MADE. because realistically speaking, he Is the weakest. he Is the most vulnerable. the most fragile. it would Not take much to kill him. yet that doesn’t stop him from wanting to help. from wanting to be useful. there’s so much drive and perseverance and just… hope. he has so much hope and stubbornness and he is so painfully human. it reminds the non human characters of what they lost. of what they want to protect (mumbo).

and objectively, it’s because of grian’s humanity that he’s able to see the humanity in those around him (mumbo and scar).

songbird!mumbo is SO beloved. little sad and anxious vampire guy… I’m so sorry

but uwahhh thank you !!! the world building is something that I have a lot of fun with in this au. because it’s a fantasy au there’s So much world at my fingertips, which is why it’s so important to find the balance when introducing concepts and stuff. I try not to overwhelm with information <3

and using grian as the reader’s in to the supernatural world is Very purposeful :D when you begin the series, you and grian have the same amount of knowledge. you’re entering the supernatural world together, and learning the same information. so the readers are Literally seeing the world through grian’s eyes.

it’s a very helpful writers tool for world building >:D

and !!!!! 🥹💕 I’m glad you enjoyed it so far !! chapter 5 is already outlined and planned hehe. I’m very excited about this next chapter, and I’m hoping the wait won’t be too long!!

( also, since you mentioned the solar eclipse playlist, this au has a playlist as well! :D in case you’re interested uwu )

[echos-collection-of-bones]

oh boy, none is going to read this

alright guys, buckle up because i am so normal about this game

this will be my genuine opinion on a game that changed my brain chemistry for better or for worse(i fully blame my autism on this this thing)

Written by Dimeatry Glocovski (who last i heard is on the run from the Russian government for not being too thrilled about the invasion of the Ukraine) and later adapted into the video game format by 4A games, Metro is a strange but soul-filled look into a world not too far from our own.

while there are three games, i will be focusing on Metro Exodus as it's the one I'm most familiar with.

Metro Exodus was the first in the trilogy I played, and despite being completely out of order I do think its the easiest to get into for a new player as the first two, while they still hold up pretty well, simply didn't have the resources to create something nearly as polished.

polished is a word i use in the context of the other two games, Metro Exodus is an inherently buggy game, and if you really can't handle any jank at all then this isn't for you. the reason I can look past it is because unlike something like Fallout 4 (which is still enjoy quite a bit) the story holds up much better, and the atmosphere doesn't suffer much because of just how strong the world-building is.

the game stars a man named Artyom and a rag-tag group of solders called the Sparten order on their cross-country trip spanning a good portion of the now-irradiated Russia.

the thing i admire most about the game is its characters. while you spend a lot of time on your own exploring, many of those moments are populated by chater on the radio, small interactions with the spartans, along with others you meet along the way. i think my favourite character aside from Artyom has to be Duke, the youngest of the group who is always looking for a way to prove himself and looks up to Artyom.

what is interesting is that there is no moral points system, there is no skore, but rather a simple cause and effect. if you do your best to only kill when necessary you will be treated with a similar kindness, Don't expect to be greeted with open arms, but at the end of the day, your friends will scrape by with their lives if you are merciful.

i could go on for hours about the environments in the game, For such a small studio the level of detail and care that went into creating them is incredible. From the thickly treed mountains of the Tiga to the broken-down remains of Moscow, the world feels ruined but far from free of life. i think that my favourite has to be the tunnels of the Mosscow metro, as little as we see in this game they are truly worth reading the first book about to learn more(the weirdness of the Russian translation is worth braving for the amazing concept and execution).

in every part of the game, the genuine connection between all of the characters is what really sets it apart from other apocalyptic stories. i like to think of it as slightly optimistic in its vue. there is something so distinctly human about it, from the grand escape from Moscow and your fellow soldiers agreeing to back you up against the entirety of Hanza, to the simple act of sharing tea or a cigarette, a simple duet with a guitar you found out in the wasteland or sharing a bed with your wife.

The Aurora is despite the setting, genuinely inviting, full of love and laughter, a small story that while not important to the bigger picture, serves to you remind of what you are fighting for, about the people you are sworn to protect and the brothers and sisters who fight alongside you" because if not us than who?".

so despite the nuclear winter, the mutants and the raiders, the creeping cold and the scorching sun, there is a small glimmer of something better, like the sun finally coming up, in a train called the Arora.

[a5tr0n0m1cal]

Gimme those links please, a helping hand in the right direction would be much help. And yes, show/tell me about your character because you have me interested.

😎 alrighty

This is a rp lets play called Ellie’s tale, one of my top faves and still ongoing. Production looks so good in “season 2” https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLboAmqVLxwuHYkmDt7s8aZKbPFOOgF3or&si=eTjQXXLRJ6_Neptq

This is another EXTREMELY immersive and movielike rp by Rycon Roleplays I haven’t finished it yet but omg it’s so good. https://youtu.be/oWwqmGbUaQk?si=nHTcdRdGfbe2sL_K

And as for my character her name is Arwyn, prewar lawyer and housewife thrust out 200 years later forced to adapt and become strong to find her missing son (as the game says) she’s not a veteran like her late husband so she is having a harder time than he would but she is still pushing. Nothing like a mothers love trope y’know

This was her at the start, still wearing thin framed glasses, and long inconvenient hair that gets in the way. She has jeans and boots over her vault suit, and a undershirt underneath I think it looks rlly cool and immersive because those suits by themselves look so uncomfy 😆

And this is how she’s looking right now mid story. She’s got thicker glasses with darker tint to protect from the sun, her hair has been shaved on either side and pulled back (it’s still long tho she hasn’t been able to let go of it quite yet) she’s found some improvised earrings to keep some sort of old time normalcy about her in the desolate wasteland. She’s also got some binoculars around her neck to spot things off in the distance easier (like enemies lol) she put her wedding right In a lock box at the ruins of her old house as a tribute to her husband (also so she doesn’t lose it, raiding thieves are no joke) after she defeated her husbands killer. Now she’s regathering her strength before she heads into even more perilous territory for info on how to find her son.

She’s become really snarky but her actions betray her words because she shows everyone a compassion and kindness to everyone that they aren’t used to in the dystopia they all live in. I just love her lots lol.

[wickedsrest-rp]

Name: Lilian Ballard Species: Medium (Exorcist) Occupation: Cashier at the Bread Cemetery / Exorcist Age: 27 Years Old Played By: Addie Face Claim: Moon Ga-Young

"Sometimes you have to be the monster of a few people’s stories to be the hero in others. It’s just how it is."

TW: Emotional abuse, domestic abuse

Lilian Ballard was the next in a long line of celebrated exorcists, a fact that her father, Jacob, seemed to drill into her head since she was big enough to understand the words he was saying. Her twin, Jonas, wasn't going to be one, though. It had taken her a long time to understand that, especially with how gentle he was with ghosts. How they listened to him and even talked to him. She always thought it was magical and wondered why they wouldn't speak to her. 

She tried to tell her dad, but she didn't really have the words to convey her meaning. He thought she was talking metaphorically - or, more likely, she wanted to be like her twin, even if he couldn't understand that. It took him seeing one scream in her face and her not so much flinching back to realize that she wasn't just mirroring Jonas. Then he realized Lil never talked to the ghosts or responded to their questions. Instead, she always looked to him to tell her when to begin the exorcism. 

Like her twin, Lil was fundamentally different from her siblings- a disappointment. However, unlike Jonas, Lil didn't escape his careful training. After all, hearing the dead was helpful in mediums but not exorcists. She didn't need to know what they were saying to her. Further, as she started to succeed in her studies, he realized maybe she could transfer into a demonologist - hiding that she couldn't hear what was happening. She would need to give up on the dearly departed and train away from the family. 

He never really considered what Lil wanted to go into that equation. June, though, saw her daughter in a different light. How her youngest daughter would stand resolutely between Jonas and the outside world when it got too much. She was attentive to her siblings and the other kids she thought were being bullied. How she tried her hardest to fit in, not quite knowing how to do so but eager to talk to others. Although Lil could be so brave, she didn't have the resolution that you would need to fight demons. She was too temperamental, prone to anger and over-protectiveness that would only lead her to fights that she couldn't hope to win. Lil kept shielding Jonas from the information, not letting their father tell him - instead getting loud and abrasive so he would yell about her behavior instead of telling Jonas. Still, although Lil seemed to hide it well, any time Jacob talked about Lil going away as soon as she turned eighteen, she freaked out.

After all, Lil knew that as soon as she left, she couldn't take her twin with her or anyone else. None of her family would know where she was, and she'd be truly alone. Something she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to do. So, with the help of June, Lil told Jacob that she wasn't going to do it. Instead, she was going to stay in town, and continue being a ghost exorcist.

Their father, however, had a different idea. Lil never quite understood how he had done it. Still, after convincing her that they were back to their normal after the talk - a rapid acceptance that Lil only understood in hindsight- he brought her into another exorcism. For what it was worth, Lil didn't know the ghosts weren't poltergeists as she carefully exorcized them. She didn't hear them screaming for her to stop. She didn't know the fallout that would happen - how her once clean record blackened as Jacob turned her in. How she targeted spirits.  How the card she'd worked hard to get was cut in front of her while she tried to explain she couldn't hear the ghosts - something that they didn't believe. Lil saw him smirking after, telling her that her reputation was ruined and that she might as well be a demonologist. That continuing as an exorcist would do nothing but destroy the rest of her life as she would always be seen as a reaper - exorcizing both spirits and poltergeists indiscriminately. No one would ever trust her once they knew what she had done. Once she turned eighteen, he would send her off to become a demonologist, and she would stop disobeying him. 

On the car ride home, Lil was resolute that she wouldn't do what Jacob wanted and started a plan to get away from him. To show him that she wouldn't do what he wanted. She was sure that he would stop all of this if she wasn't around, and maybe they would have some sort of peace. She just needed to disappear from their hometown for a while, so he calmed down on this stupid idea. Still, how much better would it be if she was alone anyway? 

So, with a twinge of guilt, Lil asked Jonas to leave with her. Without hesitating, Jonas agreed, and while furious at the beginning, over time, their father seemed to accept that Lil had outsmarted him (or, more realistically, was more trouble than it was worth). Soon, although strained, Lil would take jobs from him across the country, still furious at what he had done to her reputation. Now, most of the jobs she took were dubious at best – that most exorcists wouldn’t take. She took all of them, knowing that her reputation was one of dealing with any kind of ghost. 

Still, for the next ten years, she was happy on the road. That was until recently. Lil hadn't accounted for the fact that the Ballard’s always seemed to bring about tragedy. First, it was Blue, a Barghest who attached herself to Jonas. Then, Lil got the call that their family was gone, all of them disappearing from their hometown in a night. Now, with Jonas and Blue in tow, Lil has returned to the town, trying to find out what happened - and most importantly, how to get her family back.

Character Facts:

Personality: Persistent, amiable, heroic, judgmental, reckless, stubborn, over-protective, angry, trustworthy 

Although Lil can see ghosts and sense them she can’t hear them which causes a lot of frustration on both sides. She tends to pretend she can hear them though relying on Jonas to sign to her what they are saying. 

Since Lil has been blacklisted from the Ghostbusters, she is weary of working with other exorcists and tends to push them away. She’s pretty bitter about it, but if it came down to it she’d help. 

Lil is trying to find her missing siblings and is often in weird areas trying to find clues. 

Lil knows a lot of languages both dead and still spoken, however she relies on Latin rituals for her exorcisms. Notably she can be seen signing ASL words as she talks, mostly out of habit. 

Lil doesn’t mind helping supernatural folks, and often will perform exorcisms / modify exorcisms to properly help them. 

[kranom]

hi don't mind me I just need to overshare about my deeply personal relationship to a video game so I don't explode. um I mention suicide ideation but only in the past-tense.

Pillars of Eternity means so much to me. it was exactly what I needed at the perfect time. I only played it because I was in an awful place mentally and I wanted to watch an avatar of myself die - it felt like the sort of game that would have a heroic suicide ending, killing yourself to save the world and watching ending slides where everyone mourns you.

I expected the Watcher to be a standard protagonist. the specialest little guy in the world, loved by all once they start sticking their nose into the right peoples' business.

and then they started hallucinating, like I do. and they started having visions of themself doing terrible things to people, like I do. they started having night terrors and twitching and talking in their sleep, a thing that had started happening to me months before I played the game.

so then I expected fallout. I expected their companions needing to be convinced that they're not an inherent threat, that it's safe to be around them, that they know it must be so scary to watch someone grapple with perceived psychosis. the game, I expected, would be about convincing everyone in the world you're a hero instead of a monster.

and then!! the opposite happens. the companions and the narrative acknowledge that the focus should be on the Watcher, that their comfort and safety takes priority in this new and likely frightening situation they find themself in.

I still tear up thinking about the companions' reactions. Hiravias stopping everything to make sure his new friend isn't hurt or physically sick, everyone else casually saying that, yeah, sometimes the Watcher stares off at nothing and talks to themself in a dead language, but it's okay, it's just something they do. no cause for alarm.

Kana offering to get the Watcher set up with a job in Rauatai if they don't like adventuring(only to apologize in case it sounded like he was mocking what they're going through, telling them he'll always be there to listen if all the soul-reading starts to weigh on them). Edér threatening to dump water on them if they take too long to wake up from their nightmares, his thinly-veiled anxiety framed as being scared for the Watcher, not because of them. if Hiravias has a conversation like this, I've never seen it, and I'd do anything short of learning how to code and tear the scripts out of the game just to see it.

on another note, Hiravias!! raised to worship a God that he's told hates him for the form he's most comfortable taking, seen as a monster by his family. my most beloved trans allegory, he felt like a reflection of me- but where I leaned into my demonization, seeing myself as a pariah in order to protect others and my isolation as something a brave soul might save me from- he leaned away from it. he insisted, in the face of all this betrayal, all these years of isolation, that he was a person, that nothing he did could ever take away his personhood. Hiravias felt like someone giving me permission to do the same. to believe the same things. I'm a natural rule-follower; that permission changed my life.

I know it's all fiction, it's just a game, every interaction runs on a script. but those scripts are sources of hope for me. I've never had anyone check in on me while I'm having an episode, I've never been told that I'm not a monster, but in this small emulation I can imagine what it would feel like. more than that, I'm not putting myself in the shoes of a seemingly neurotypical protagonist who's suffering under fantastical circumstances. to an outside observer the Watcher is hallucinating. they're describing what sounds like intrusive thoughts. this is what characters are reacting to, with kindness and empathy to an extent I wouldn't have thought to dream of.

the first time I played the game, I rushed through it. I didn't touch the DLC. I wanted to know where the punchline was. I wanted to see how the Watcher was ultimately punished for mental illness. for 17 hours I tensely waited for a punchline, but it never came. so I played it again, immediately, because no other piece of media before or since has had such a profound effect on me.

I saw parts of myself, parts that I hid and hated, dragged to the forefront of a conversation I could easily step away from. my entire view of myself was destroyed and rebuilt kinder within the span of a few days. other things about me changed, too. I was in a perfect position, vulnerable and raw and falling ass-backwards into a new lease on my life, to truly accept other things the game said.

I was raised in an awful, close-minded household. I will spend the rest of my life unlearning things my mother taught me, I think. I had been doing an okay job of it, though I still associated strength with violence. perfect time, perfect place- my Watcher pointed out that Kana was likely inherently violent due to his size, and he responded by asking them if they held other (fantasy) bioessentialist views, if they saw orlans as animals, and I chewed on that for a long time. there's a running theme in general that we don't choose the forms we find ourselves in, and Pillars of Eternity helped me internalize that. Kana was a lynchpin there, as unremarkable as other people seem to find him.

I think I've explained my mindset at the time pretty well. I mentioned that I played this game solely hoping to play suicide. there's a point in the third act where the Watcher asks how to cure their hallucinations, and they're told that killing themself might make things go away, at least for a while. when I reached this conversation, I, without thinking, immediately dismissed the idea. the game had been telling me that being alive and mentally ill, being alive and entirely isolated, being alive and traumatized is always better than being dead. and somewhere along the way I started believing that.

after playing this game, it genuinely felt like I was seeing in color for the first time. that might sound ridiculous and corny, but I felt like someone had looked at all the worst parts of me and told me I was no less worthy for them. and suddenly everything seemed visibly brighter, painfully bright. I would take my dog outside and the grass burned my eyes. I could feel my own heartbeat, something I tended to block out because I resented it. a sudden constant thrumming in a world that hurt my eyes. I was overwhelmed, overwhelmed for months. and it was indescribably wonderful.

[13uswntimagines]

Family’s Hard (Kristie Mewis x Reader)

Request: part 2 of the fic with Kristie that you post today! Maybe something with the r and Kristie both getting call for the national camp and we see a bit of what happen at camp with mal. pt 2. Maybe with both the reader and Kristine on the USENT roster and the fallout with Amal because of the reader being there. part 2 of the reader and mal meet up again joined by the team

Pt. One 

You had never been more unhappy while staring at a plate full of pancakes in your entire existence. You loved your typical practice meal (and your girlfriend of almost a year’s hand on your thigh while you ate it), but you weren’t enjoying the disapproving glare you were getting from across the table. She had been like this the moment you stepped off the plane, and you feared she wouldn’t stop until camp was over. 

It wasn’t like you decided to sit at this table to annoy Mal. Kristie wanted to sit with Sam, and you weren’t about to brave the dining room all by your little lonesome (plus you liked the team's Tower of Power and enjoyed watching the siblings banter).

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, pushing your chocolate chip pancakes around the plate, and keeping your eyes trained on your fork. 

“You ok?” Your girlfriend asked, her lips caressing your ear. You didn’t miss the way your older sister's nose scrunched at the looseness between you and the older midfielder. 

“Just tired. The flight from Houston was super long,” You mumbled, shrugging lightly. 

“You sure?” Kristie nudged your cheek with her nose and squeezed your thigh. You had been jittery since you left your shared apartment in Houston to head for camp and no amount of reassuring from your girlfriend seemed to be helping. 

“Psh. The flight home from France was exhausting, and then we had to get ready for good morning America. That was crazy, right Sammy?” Mal said with a wicked smile, completely cutting you off. Your mouth clicked shut and Kristie squeezed your thigh again (her jaw working overtime to prevent the scathing comment from leaving the tip of her tongue). 

Mal had been impossible since you stepped foot into the hotel the USWNT had commandeered for camp. She had swung between outright bitchy and underhanded reminders of Jill's preference of her over you all day and Kristie was getting sick of it. Your shoulders slouched a little more with every remark, every jab clouding over a little bit more of your sunshine. 

“That was pretty crazy,” Sam nodded, watching you and her sister carefully. She was trying to run as much interference as she could, but it seemed your sister wanted to make you as uncomfortable as possible. Almost like she was trying to drive you off the team. 

“Definitely not as crazy as that party right after we won. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much champagne in my entire life. Not even after we beat Texas,” Mal added, and you shivered at the memory, wilting under her glare. 

It was your freshman year (and coincidentally Mal’s senior year), and the first time the two of you had ever really played against each other. UCLA decimated your team and took over a frat house to celebrate. From what you heard, it was one of the biggest parties Texas A&M had ever seen. 

Kristie sighed, wrapping the arm that was on your leg around your back, rubbing soothing circles. You leaned into the touch, still playing with the food on your plate, trying to hold your tongue and not rise to Mal’s prodding. 

“From what I hear there was a lot of alcohol after Houston won the challenge cup,” Sam nodded, sharing a look with her sister and side-eyeing her friend. 

“That was just beer, Sammy. It wasn’t as classy because no one cares about an arbitrary chaos cup win, especially after we won the World Cup. It’s all about scale,” Mal continued, completely ignoring the glare Kristie had pointed at her, enjoying the way you were squirming in your chair. 

You shoved your plate away, giving up on eating. You didn’t want to be here. 

“I'm sure. I’m gonna go. The uniform staff wanted to see me anyway,” You mumbled, just loud enough for Kristie to hear you (or so you thought). 

Mal’s vicious smile grew. She just couldn’t seem to help herself when it came to you. You were always chasing after her, and this time she had done what you couldn’t. She wasn’t ready to give that up yet. 

“I’d tell you to switch names, but all I can suggest is to pick a number you can actually live up to,” She sneered. 

Your entire being froze and you blinked owlishly at your older sister (taking comfort in how Kristie's arm tightened around you). 13 had been your number since high school, but you knew that Alex was a vet and you weren’t stupid (or disrespectful) enough to even dream of trying to take it. You knew you would never be even close to the level of Alex Morgan. 

You had accepted that and Instead chosen a different number, one you were proud to wear. You had no control over the last name on your jersey (until Kristie and you decided you wanted to get married, if you wanted to get married, and that was still pretty far off). 

“Come on. They wanted to do a quick check-in with me too,” Kristie said, standing and dragging you with her out of the room, her eyes sending daggers towards your sister. She was done watching you collapse back into yourself. 

****

Sam stared at Mal’s Cheshire Cat grin, her mouth agape. She didn’t understand why your older sister was being like this, or how she could continue eating as though she didn’t just rip you apart. (And at this rate someone had to stop her before Kristie killed her). 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Sam said, leaning forward and resting both elbows on the table. 

Mal shrugged, taking another sip of her orange juice. “What? I’m just being realistic,”

If you didn’t want to hear stories about their triumph at the World Cup, or how awesome the party was afterward, you could just find yourself a new seat (and take your girlfriend with you- you always did have to outdo her). 

“You were a little harsh babe,” Rose said softly, patting the forward's hand. 

Sam scoffed loudly, shaking her head. “She practically crumbled under that last comment,”

It was painful to watch your shy bean self withdraw back into the shell her sister worked so hard to crack. Even if you had Kristie here to support you, she wasn’t sure how long you would last without bursting into tears or getting into a screaming match with your sister. You were under enough pressure as it was. 

“She’s just overly sensitive. If she wants to play in the big leagues she’s going to have to learn to stand up for herself,” Mal rolled her eyes. 

It was a going joke in your family that Mal got the brains and beauty, while you just got the leftover emotions. Ever since you were kids, she had been the extroverted one saving you from bullies and being the “good example” that her parents wanted her to be. But this was her thing, and she didn’t want you horning in on it. (It was also a slight protective instinct too. She would rather be the one giving you shit than the media. They were ruthless and you would probably never forgive her. The road to hell was paved with good intentions after all.)

Sam sighed, taking in how Mal’s eyes tighten just a touch beneath her nonchalance. As much as she wanted to pretend she didn’t care about you, it was obvious that she did. The questions now were if she was willing to have a change of attitude and if she would even be able to repair the damage she had already done. 

“Just be careful with how far you push her, alright?” Sam said thoughtfully. 

Mal rolled her eyes again, any care she may have felt disappearing. “I know what I’m doing Sam,” 

“I really hope you do, because I remember what it was like to always be trying to live up to your older sister and how difficult that was. And Kristie knew when to cut me some slack,” Sam said, raising her eyebrow at the younger woman. 

She really hoped she could get through to her before Mal lost you, and Kristie kicked her head off. 

*****

You sighed into Kristie's lips, enjoying the way her hips pinned you to the wall and her tongue explored your mouth. You weren’t one for public displays of affection, but she had dragged you into an abandoned corner of the hotel after your sister's clear display of disdain. 

You guessed an upside to being at camp with Mal was your girlfriend's desire to cheer you up. You always responded better to physical contact (which was why Kristie used it to help you calm down all the time). 

You hummed as the hands under your shirt made their way up to cup your cheeks, her fingers tangling in the baby hairs at the back of your neck. She let the kiss continue for another minute, before pulling back, so her lips were just barely ghosting over your own and your foreheads were touching. 

You futilely tried to push off the wall and chase her lips, only for her to chuckle and pull back so you couldn’t reach, keeping you pinned with her hips. 

“Ah, no more kisses until you say it,” She mumbled, her breath fanning across your lips. 

You whined. You loved how supportive Kristie was, but you didn’t want to do this right now. You didn’t want to go through your normal reaffirmation routine. Not after the shots, Mal had taken at you. 

“But-“

Kristie chucked at the keening whine again, shaking her head (both at how adorable your pout was and because she was standing her ground). She learned a long time ago that the best way to stop your mental spiraling was for you to say how worth it you were. “No buts. To get what you want you gotta say it,” 

You huffed, I ally opening your eyes to look into Kristie’s determined blue. She raised her eyebrow at you. 

“I’m an amazing person, no matter what anyone says,” You mumbled, looking away from your girlfriend. She hummed, using her thumb to tilt your chin back up. 

“And?” She asked, a smile playing on her lips. Your pout deepened. You were set to start and Mal had made you feel bad about it. Now Kristie was trying to get you to admit that you deserved the opportunity. 

The two of you stared at each other for a long minute, and you debated in trying to get back to the kissing again, to not say the last part of your mantra. Kristie's thumb ran soothingly over your cheek as if she was reading your mind. “Come on babe,” she said softly. 

You bit your lip, finally giving in. “I shouldn’t feel guilty about opportunities I receive,”

“Good,” Kristie smiled, leaning back in to connect your lips. You smiled back into the kiss. Maybe things weren’t so bad if you got this treatment after your sister was mean to you, even if Kristie was trying to get you to finally confront her about her behavior. “And for the record, you can always say you’ll have a cooler last name later,” 

*****

This was getting out of hand. Very out of hand. You hit the ground again, your face scraping against the turf after another bad tackle. You groaned, pushing yourself up off the turf and brushing yourself off, ignoring the hand of the defender in front of you in favor of taking the hand your girlfriend offered. 

Kristie glared at the blond defender, very pissed off that she was pushing you so hard. “Fucking watch it Sonnett, another tackle like that and I’ll beat your ass myself,” Your girlfriend growled, brushing a stray piece of turf off your back. 

Emily shrugged, awkwardly scratching the back of her neck. “Just trying to test the Rookie. Need to make sure she can handle a little pressure,” 

She liked you, but with the pressure, Mal was putting n you, she thought that they were all going to go hard. To show you exactly how difficult this game could be and how much you needed to work to be on their level. 

“I think Mal is doing enough of that on her own,” Kristie raised her eyebrow at the woman, still rubbing the turf off your back and cringing at the new burn. If this hadn’t been a teammate’s doing, she probably would have killed them by now. Ripped them limb from limb for touching you, but you didn’t need that. You needed her support and not her overprotectiveness. 

“She actually needs to be able to play against Canada,” Sam said, patting her back. Emily shook her head. Mal was right. She would rather be the one to go hard on you and prepare you than some random defender who didn’t care at all. 

As far as she was concerned, Mal’s plan was still in effect and you were going to have to pull some trick to get past her again. 

****

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Kristie threaded a ball through the gap between Becky and Julie, straight to you. You turned, taking advantage of the gap in the backline, dribbling across to try and get a clear shot. 

You didn’t see that gap collapsing. You didn’t see Emily and Midge racing towards you until it was too late. There was a loud crunch as you were caught between the two defenders, and tumbled to the ground. 

The reaction from the rest of the team was instant. Kristie raced over, followed closely by Sam. Both women kneeling down next to you, trying to get you to roll over. It seemed that another blue blur was already laying into the two defenders. 

“Lay the fuck off my sister,” Mal yelled, shoving Sonnett back from where her shifting form was standing over you. 

Emily held her hands up in defense, stumbling away from you. “I’m just trying to keep the intensity up, exactly like you are,” 

Mal growled audibly, stepping up to the taller defender and wrapping her fist into her shirt. “It’s different. She’s my sister and I’m the only one who gets to fuck with her. Got it,” she said her voice deadly calm. 

Emily nodded rapidly, her eyes wide as Mal straightened her shirt, patting her shoulder. Emily backed away slowly, her hands still extended, terrified that Mal (and your girlfriend) would decide to actually kill her. 

Mal nodded once the offending defenders were far enough away from you, before turning in your direction. 

You were finally on your feet, shifting awkwardly and rubbing the back of your neck. 

“Thanks,” You mumbled as she approached. 

She smiled, pulling you into a very strange hug.“You got it, kid. I love you, even if you’re not as good as me yet,”

She let you go and winked. You smiled and trotted off back to your position, warmth filling you. Sure you weren’t on the best terms, but you were sisters and the act was like a white flag. A truce. 

Kristie caught Mal’s arms as she passed. “Learn to lay off a little bit. I don’t want to have to hurt you,”

Mal nodded. You were family mad the only one who got to mess with you was her. She would kill anyone else who tried and she was glad you had gained two protectors. 

[swan-of-sunrise]

Ragnarok (Chapter Two)

Summary: After catching up with Thor and seeing his brother disappear into thin air, (Y/N) drives the Asgardian to what turns out to be a wizard’s lair.

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings/Disclaimers: None

A/N: Lol I love writing Thor, he’s such a sweet goofball! Thank you for reading, I hope you all enjoy! (Don’t forget to check out the A/N at the end of the chapter!)

Chapter Two (Previous Chapter)

“Wait…Thor?”

The last time (Y/N) had seen the Asgardian God of Thunder was nearly three years ago, just after Ultron and the Battle of Sokovia; Thor left the Avengers to investigate the suspicious reappearances of the Infinity Stones and while she wasn’t exactly sure what they were or why they were dangerous, they didn’t sound like good news. No one had heard anything from him in those three years or even knew if he’d return to Earth someday; Steve thought there was a possibility but after all the fallout surrounding the Sokovia Accords, (Y/N) personally believed it would be easier if the Asgardian didn’t get involved in all the politics. Nevertheless, she was happy to see Thor again after so long, even if it was on a busy street corner in the middle of Greenwich Village.

(Y/N) approached Thor as a couple of teenagers snapped a quick selfie with him and he turned to her with a bright smile. “Would you care for a photo as well?”

“Wha-? No, Thor, it’s me! Remember, I helped you and the Avengers fight Ultron in Sokovia?” Thor stared blankly at her and she suppressed an exasperated sigh before taking off her sunglasses and continuing. “You called me-”

“Writer (Y/L/N)!” Beaming in happiness, Thor reached for her hand and clasped it between his. “Yes, of course, how could I forget such a stunningly brave warrior? And I see that you’re expecting a little writer now, congratulations! When I last saw you, you were in the beginnings of a relationship with the captain…so, is the little writer…?”

Before she had a chance to answer, the dark-haired man standing beside him snorted in amusement. “That insufferable captain has a surprising amount of virility for a hundred-year-old Midgardian.”

As her nostrils flared in irritation, (Y/N) tugged her hand free from Thor’s grasp and placed it onto her bump in a protective manner. “Who’s your friend?”

“Oh, this is my brother, Loki!”

Her brow furrowed in confusion. “But I thought that he was killed by a Dark Elf?”

“That’s what I thought as well, but it turns out that it was all a trick to swindle his way into ruling all of Asgard and banishing our father to a Midgardian nursing home, a trick that I just found out about today.” Taken aback by Thor’s matter-of-fact reply, she merely hummed in interest and attempted a smile while inwardly thanking the universe for the very amicable relationship she shared with her own brother. “Loki, this is (Y/N) (Y/L/N), she’s a very successful writer here on Midgard and a good friend of the Avengers.”

Loki tore his eyes away from the construction site beside them and fixed his gaze onto her; for the briefest of moments, there was a strange gleam in his blue-green eyes but it vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared, replaced with bored indifference as he looked her over. “If you’re going to slap me, mortal, then you’d best get on with it; I’d prefer to not spend any more time in this dreadful city than absolutely necessary.”

“…Um, why would I slap you?”

“I’m the god who attempted to conquer this realm and subjugate its people by opening a wormhole through which a blood-thirsty Chitauri army invaded, nearly destroying this city and all its residents, including the suspected father of your unborn child. That would be the most likely reason to expect a slap; it’s why Thor’s former Midgardian lover did it, after all.”

“My doctor told me not to overexert myself during my third trimester, so it looks like you get a reprieve from any vengeful slaps.” Ignoring the Asgardian’s amused chuckle, (Y/N) turned back to Thor with a sympathetic smile. “And, um, I’m sorry for how yours and Doctor Foster’s relationship ended.”

Thor’s attempt at a casual smile appeared as more of a grimace as he replied, “Thank you, Writer (Y/L/N). She didn’t dump me, you know. I dumped her…it was a mutual dumping, actually…” Loki gave him a bolstering pat on the shoulder and opened his mouth to speak, but a sparking orange circle appeared on the sidewalk and swirled around the Asgardian’s designer shoes; (Y/N) took a startled step back and Thor frowned in confusion. “What’s this, what are you doing?”

His brother’s anxious eyes flicked up from the circle to meet Thor’s. “This isn’t me.”

In the blink of an eye, Loki fell through the sparking circle and it instantly vanished, leaving behind a business card on the sidewalk where he’d just been standing. (Y/N) looked up from the spot with widened eyes to meet Thor’s equally shocked gaze. “What the hell just happened? Was that…was that magic?”

Nodding, Thor reached out with his umbrella and tentatively poked the business card, whispering, “Loki?”

Did he seriously think that his brother turned himself into a business card, she thought to herself as he bent down to retrieve it, a part of her exasperated at the former Avenger while the other part began wondering the same thing; the only magic she’d ever been exposed to was Thor’s and Wanda’s, so she was entirely out of her wheelhouse on this one. “177A Bleecker Street. Are you familiar with this address?”

“Yeah, it’s actually on the other side of Greenwich Village; if you want, I can-” She cut herself off when she felt the baby kick and in an instant, she was brought back to reality; she wasn’t the same woman who could risk her life at the drop of a hat to help the Avengers save the world, she was about to be a mother and it was her responsibility to keep her baby safe. But it wouldn’t hurt to just drive him to that address on the way back home, she silently reasoned, giving her belly a reassuring pat before continuing. “I’ll drive you there on my way home.”

The two of them walked down the street to the parking garage, Thor going on about his travels across the universe over the past three years and (Y/N) listening in interest. Unbeknownst to either of them, though, (Y/N)’s decision to help an old friend in need would lead to her biggest and most dangerous adventure yet…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I hate thunderstorms.” A clap of thunder suddenly shook the compound’s walls and (Y/N) burrowed her face into the crook of Steve’s neck, her hands tightly clutching his t-shirt as her body involuntarily shuddered. “Can’t Tony invent something to drown out the sound or something?”

“I’ll be sure to mention it the next time he visits,” Steve promised, pressing a comforting kiss onto her hair and tightening his hold on her; he hadn’t said anything but it was clear that he was just as wary of the thunder and lightning as she was. “Back when the Avengers re-formed to take down Hydra, Thor used to use his powers to dim down the sound of storms.”

“Any chance of our favorite Asgardian returning tonight?”

The super-soldier laughed. “I don’t think so, sunshine, but I’m sure that he’ll be back someday soon.”

“Hey, Booksmart and the Running Man,” They both turned to see Sam and Natasha standing at the entrance of the common room, tired smiles on their faces as they clutched their pillows and blankets. “You got any room for a couple of more thunder-hating Avengers on that couch?”

“So, how’s Captain Rogers? His hands are probably full running the Avengers, of course, but he cannot be that busy or else he wouldn’t have a little writer on the way!”

(Y/N)’s hands tightened on her steering wheel but she forced herself to maintain a neutral expression. “Actually, Steve is…he’s doing very well.” Thor beamed and resumed examining her newly-purchased vinyls from his spot in the passenger-side seat while (Y/N) inwardly sighed; the last thing she wanted to do was lie to Thor, but she truly didn’t know how to tell him that while he’d been gallivanting across the universe, his friends had turned on one another and essentially disbanded the Avengers. “When you find your dad and get your brother back, you’re more than welcome to come over for dinner; we’ll have lots more time to catch up on…well, on everything you’ve missed lately. And it’ll be nice to have some adult company over before the baby’s born.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Thor cast an inquisitive look at her prominent bump. “On Asgard, we have the medical capabilities to determine the sex of a baby before they’re even born; do they have similar techniques here on Midgard?”

“Mm-hmm, it’s called an ultrasound; sound waves project an image onto a monitor that doctors use to observe a baby’s overall health and determine the sex. I asked my doctor not to tell me, though, I want to wait until Steve-” She cut herself off before she could finish her sentence, her heart tightening in her chest as she quickly plastered in a fake smile and continued. “We decided to wait and be surprised.”

Thankfully, the Asgardian seemed to buy her hasty save, returning to his earlier examination of her vinyls with eyes filled with interest. “The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars…I never realized that you Midgardians still sing ballads of fallen heroes! This Ziggy Stardust’s battle against the Martian spiders must have been legendary!”

Fifteen minutes and a brief biography of David Bowie later, (Y/N) pulled up to the empty sidewalk in front of 117A; she’d barely switched off the engine when she experienced a mild cramping sensation in her abdomen that made her wince and clutch the steering wheel in pain. “Ow…”

“Are you well? Norns, are you in childbirth?!”

(Y/N) shook her head. “No, it’s just Braxton-Hicks contractions; they’re pretty common during the third trimester of a pregnancy but they always seem to catch me off-guard.” Thor’s blue eyes were still filled with apprehension and she smiled, touched by his concern. “I’m feel fine, Thor, I’ll just walk them off; that usually helps to make them fade away quicker.”

Thor clambered out of her Volkswagen and hurried around to her side to assist her, one hand resting against the small of her back while the other held her elbow to stabilize her. “While I was growing up, my mother would often assist the midwives in the city and failed in convincing me to join her; now that I’m older, I wish I’d taken her up on her offers.” They walked onto the sidewalk and observed the building before them; it seemed innocent enough, with elegant architecture and blossoming trees flanking the doorway, but something seemed off about the inviting sight. “This seems…quaint.”

She nodded in agreement, standing by the stone railing as Thor walked up the short steps to the green-colored door and knocked. “Yep, I think I’ll just wait out here for-”

There was a sudden rush of wind and when it dissipated, they were no longer standing outside but rather in a darkened chamber, surrounded by glass display cases filled with unusual-looking objects. With her equilibrium thrown off, (Y/N) leaned against the Asgardian and took a deep breath as her stomach churned in discomfort; please don’t throw up on Thor in the middle of a creepy villain’s lair, she pleaded to herself, digging through her pocket for the spare stun disc she always carried for self-defense.

“Thor Odinson.” They turned to see the shadowy figure of a man floating in the air across from them, the silhouette of his cloak outlined by the light streaming in from the round window in the foreground. “God of Thunder.” With a brief glance, Thor stepped in front of her and raised his umbrella as the cloaked man drifted to them; he was older than her, with grey streaks at his temples, a neatly trimmed goatee that was reminiscent of Tony Stark and odd-looking robes, and his dark eyes glimmered with amusement while he observed the weapons they were brandishing. “You can put down the umbrella and the stun disc.”

Thor and (Y/N) exchanged looks of apprehension but lowered their weapons, the Asgardian reaching over and setting the umbrella down in a metal rack. There was another rush of wind and suddenly, the three of them stood in a brightly-lit section of the same chamber amongst more artifacts. The second instance of teleportation proved to be too much for (Y/N)’s stomach; she clamped a hand over her mouth and was vaguely aware of the emesis basin being pressed into her other hand before immediately vomiting into it.

“Are you currently experiencing Braxton-Hicks?” All she could do was nod, struggling to catch her breath as she was guided to lean against a wooden desk; the magic-wielding man was looking her over in concern and for some reason, the intense focus on his face reminded her of someone that she couldn’t quite place. “When was the last time you drank any fluids?”

“This…this morning…” Still lightly panting, (Y/N) frowned in confusion when the emesis basin magically disappeared from her grasp and was replaced with a mug of warm liquid. “What’s this?”

“Lemon balm tea with a dollop of honey for flavor; studies show that lemon teas are highly effective in treating symptoms commonly associated with pregnancy, such as nausea and vomiting, and the honey serves as an apology for upsetting your stomach. As far as your Braxton-Hicks contractions go, they were triggered by a very mind case of dehydration but the tea should fix that pretty quick.”

She cautiously took a sip of tea and almost sighed in relief as her nausea began to fade away; now that she wasn’t throwing up, she noticed that Thor’s face was tinged with green and he was avoiding her gaze. “Are you okay, Thor?”

“Yes, yes, it’s just that watching people throw up always makes me want to…” Swallowing thickly, he turned his attention to a display of cylindrical objects and began fiddling with them. “So, Earth has wizards now?”

The man pursed his lips in annoyance as the cylindrical objects clattered onto the desk. “The preferred term is ‘Master of the Mystic Arts’ – you can leave that now.”

“All right, wizard, who are you and why should I care?”

It was then that (Y/N) finally recognized the man, and she didn’t bother suppressing her shocked gasp. “You’re Doctor Stephen Strange, aren’t you? My goddaughter was born with a neurological condition that called for an immediate surgery and you turned it down; I was willing to pay double but your office told me that you weren’t interested in performing such a ‘simple surgery.’” Her jaw clenched in anger as she recalled Greg and Mara’s panic and worry. “And now you’re some sort of wizard or something?”

Doctor Strange winced but nodded. “I…yes, that’s me. I’m sorry for my past behavior, Miss (Y/L/N); I trust that your goddaughter’s doing well now?”

“Yes, she just turned four last – wait, how do you know my name?”

“I’m a Master of the Mystic Arts…also, my friend Wong’s a pretty big fan of your books.” He gestured over to a nearby sitting area. “Now, I’ve got some questions for you two so if you don’t mind…” They followed him over to the chairs and after helping her sit, Thor sat down across from the doctor. “Tea?”

The Asgardian wrinkled his nose as a mug of tea appeared in his hand. “I don’t drink tea.”

“What do you drink?”

“Not…tea.”

The mug of tea transformed into a large stein of beer and (Y/N) bit back an amused smile when Thor’s eyes lit up at the sight. Leaning back in his chair, Doctor Strange waited for Thor to take a drink before speaking, “So, I keep a watch list of individuals and beings from other realms that may be a threat to this world and your adopted brother Loki is one of those beings.”

(Y/N) drank some more tea as Thor shrugged. “A worthy inclusion.”

“Then why bring him here?”

Since Thor was preoccupied with his beer, she decided to answer for him. “They’re looking for their father. Apparently, Loki banished him to a nursing home on the other side of Greenwich Village and he’s been posing as the King of Asgard for almost five years without Thor noticing.”

Doctor Strange’s head tilted to the side as he considered her. “And how exactly did you get roped into all this, Miss (Y/L/N)?”

“Oh, it was just a happy coincidence; I was in the city visiting a record shop when I ran into them, and I offered to drive Thor here after you made Loki disappear.” She set her empty mug down onto the table beside her and folded her hands on the top of her bump. “I suppose I’ve got a gift for being in the right place at the right time for this sort of thing.”

“Or it’s almost like fate…” He murmured to himself but before she could ask what he meant, he turned his attention back to Thor. “So…if I were to tell you where Odin was, all parties concerned would promptly return to Asgard?”

“…Promptly.”

“Great, then I’ll help you!”

Thor’s brow furrowed. “If you knew where he was, why didn’t you call me?”

“I have to tell you, he was adamant that he not be disturbed; your father said he had chosen to remain in exile…and you don’t have a phone.”

The Asgardian scoffed at the doctor’s reasoning. “No, I don’t have a phone but you could’ve sent an electronic letter. It’s called an email.”

“Yeah, do you have a computer?”

“No, what for?” (Y/N) and Doctor Strange exchanged looks of bewilderment as Thor continued. “Anyway, my father is no longer in exile so if you can tell me where he is, I can take him home.”

“Gladly. He’s in Norway.” Standing up, Doctor Strange gave her a brief smile and gestured to the mug beside her. “You can wait here and enjoy some more tea if you’d like while I help your Asgardian friend.”

The two men were gone in an instant and as she listened to the sounds of them teleporting around the vast chamber, she couldn’t help but think that magic was pretty cool when she wasn’t directly experiencing it herself. “I wonder if Wanda can do all that stuff that he can…” Still feeling the lingering soreness of her earlier contractions, she patted a hand on her stomach and carefully got to her feet. “Let’s see if we can’t find those two, lemon drop.”

With her mug of tea in hand, (Y/N) walked through the chamber and examined all the strange objects on display before slowly descending the staircase to the second-floor landing, pausing at the railing to catch her breath and take another drink of tea. She was looking down onto the ground floor and admiring the doctor’s interior decorating skills when he appeared at the foot of the stairs, orange-colored sparks of magic swirling around his gloved hands; Thor appeared a heartbeat later, rolling down the last couple of steps and clambering to his feet. “We could’ve just walked.”

The sparking magic left the doctor’s hands and formed into a circular portal before them. “He’s waiting for you.”

“All right.” For the first time since arriving at Doctor Strange’s home, Thor looked almost nervous at the prospect of stepping through the portal; he glanced up at where (Y/N) stood and his frown softened. “Thank you for your assistance, Writer (Y/L/N); once I return my father to Asgard and ensure that all’s well, I will surely come and visit you and Captain Rogers in Brooklyn!”

Doctor Strange’s brow rose in surprise but he didn’t remark on the Asgardian’s words as he interjected, “Don’t forget your umbrella.”

“Oh, yes!” Thor held out his hand and foyer echoed with the sounds of muffled crashing from above; the three of them all looked up and he winced as the noises grew louder. “…Sorry.” (Y/N)’s hand shot up to protectively splay over her belly as the umbrella zoomed past her and into Thor’s open hand down below. “I suppose I’ll need my brother back.”

The doctor hummed in agreement, opening another sparking portal in the air above him and Thor; with a strangled yell, Loki dropped down onto the floor and shouted, “I have been falling…for thirty minutes!”

Doctor Strange and Thor shared a quiet exchange while Loki struggled to his feet, and (Y/N) felt a surge of sympathy for the dark-haired man; her hatred of heights was second only to her hatred of helicopters, so she couldn’t fathom being forced to fall for nearly half an hour. Loki’s eyes flicked up and met hers, the furious gleam in them wavering for a moment before the other men’s voices drew his attention away.

“Handle me? Who are you?” Daggers appeared in Loki’s hands and Thor sighed in exasperation. “You think you’re some kind of sorcerer? Don’t think for one minute, you second-rate-”

“Okay, bye-bye!” With a wave of his hands, Doctor Strange sent the portal over the brothers and when they disappeared, the sparking portal vanished with them. “Asgardians…”

“I’ve got a feeling that you’ve dealt with worse,” (Y/N) quipped, making her way to the top of the staircase before stopping and biting her lip in apprehension. “Um, Doctor Strange, do you mind…?” The doctor levitated up to the top of the steps and offered her his arm to clutch for stability. “Thank you. Stairs are a little tricky these days, you know, since I can’t exactly see my feet.”

Doctor Strange chuckled. “I can assume that’s an added challenge. And please, call me Stephen.” They slowly made their way down the staircase. “Forgive me for prying, Miss (Y/L/N), but Thor mentioned something about Captain Rogers before he left…?”

“I didn’t know how to tell him about the Sokovia Accords, so I let him believe that everything was normal.” Judging from the look on Stephen’s face, he knew that she was being purposefully vague about Steve Rogers but he thankfully didn’t press her further. “The tea was wonderful, by the way, it worked like…like magic…” A wild idea suddenly came to her mind and she spoke before she could stop herself or worry if she sounded silly. “Stephen, can wizards – sorry, Masters of the Mystic Arts – can you guys see into the future?”

“Not typically, but I’m an exception to the norm. Why do you-?” He stopped himself short when he noticed the way she was running her hand over her bump and his eyes softened. “You want to know if the baby’s father will be there for the birth.” She nodded and once they reached the last step, he pulled away and took a step back. “Well, I’ve learned the hard way that messing with time’s not the best idea but as long as I don’t look into specifics of the future, everything’ll be fine.”

Closing his eyes, Stephen raised his hands and moved them in front of his torso, the action opening the unusual pendant he wore around his neck and revealing a green-colored stone; the stone began to glow and as magic enveloped his hands and arms, Stephen furrowed his brow in concentration. Moments later, the glowing magic faded away and while the pendant closed, the doctor’s eyes opened and met hers. “Did it work? Did you…?” Her smile faltered a little when he didn’t immediately answer. “Did you see him there?”

“You won’t be alone. Everything’s going to be just fine, Miss (Y/L/N).” She breathed a sigh of relief and Stephen held out his hand. “I’m sorry, but I need to go and check that everything’s going well in Norway; it was a pleasure meeting you, even under such unusual circumstances.”

(Y/N) shook his hand and smiled. “It was nice meeting you as well; thanks to you, I feel much better about this last stretch of my pregnancy.”

After exchanging goodbyes and assuring him that she’d see herself out, Stephen disappeared through another portal and she moved to leave; as she turned towards the green doors, though, she lost her footing and her hand shot out to grab the nearest thing to her, which happened to be a strange-looking cauldron sitting atop a pedestal. The moment her hand connected with the artifact, she was swept up into swirls of blinding lights and strong winds but before she knew it, she was staggering forward into the brightly-lit outdoors.

“What the hell was…?” (Y/N)’s words died in her throat as she looked around her surroundings and realized with a sinking feeling that she wasn’t standing on the Greenwich Village sidewalk. She was surrounded by heaping mounds of metal and trash and when she looked up, she saw aircraft flying through the skies and past multi-colored holes; all of the trash seemed to have originated from the holes and as she watched, several large pieces of metal fell out and onto a nearby pile. With no idea where to go or what to do, (Y/N) cradled her bump with her hands and murmured under her breath, “Lemon drop, I have a feeling we’re not in New York anymore…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

A/N: Yep, that’s how (Y/N) and Baby Rogers get to Sakaar! Just like with the last chapter, you might’ve noticed that I didn’t specify the baby’s sex and that’s because I’m letting you guys, the readers, decide! All you have to do is send in your preference (either through the Ask Me Anything! button or through the DM’s) and I’ll tally up all the answers I receive, then the sex will be revealed in Chapter 4. Since I haven’t decided if I’ll be updating this fic weekly or every other week, you guys have quite a lot of time!

Thank you all so much for reading and commenting! I’ve created a Spotify playlist inspired by this series, and I’ll be updating it every time I upload a new chapter. Enjoy!

Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37tHWOMeO7AluDyXnddAUB?si=a37f3fdaf1e54409

Chapter Three

Ragnarok Masterlist

Tagging: @mrs-obrien​​​​​​​​ @lahoete​​​​​​​​ @awkward117​ @cminr​​​​​​​​ @natdrunk​​​​​​​​ @momc95​​​​​​​​ @savedbystyle​​​​​​​​ @miraculouscloud​ @awkwardnesshabitat​​​​​​​​ @marinettepotterandplagg​​​​​​​​ @khuang3​​​​​​​​ @supersouthy​​​​​​​​ @benakenalove​​​​​​​​ @brooke0297​​​​​​​​ @hufflepeople​​​​​​​​ @becausewelie​​​​​​​​​ @outoftheregular​​​​​​​ @supreme-tantrum​ @ladydmalfoy​​​​​​​​ @mads-weasley​​​​​​​​ @username23345​​​​​​​​ @crist1216​​​​​​​​ @aesthethickks​ @lilmschild @avngrsinitiative​ @crowleysqueenofhell​ @y-napotat @mary1raven​

[andiinaraethtash]

Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warnings:

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories:

F/F

Gen

M/M

Fandoms:

Empires SMP

Minecraft (Video Game)

Relationships:

Bryce | fWhip & GeminiTay

Bryce | fWhip & MythicalSausage

Bryce | fWhip & Geminitay & MythicalSausage (Video Blogging RPF)

Katherine Elizabeth/Shelby Grace

Jimmy | Solidarity/Scott | Smajor1995 | Dangthatsalongname

Everyone & Everyone

Scott Smajor & Xornoth

Characters:

Bryce | fWhip

GeminiTay (Video Blogging RPF)

MythicalSausage (Video Blogging RPF)

Scott | Smajor1995 | Dangthatsalongname

Jimmy | Solidarity

Shrub - Character

Shelby Grace

Katherine Elizabeth (Video Blogging RPF)

Joey Graceffa

Joel | SmallishBeans

Lizzie | LDShadowLady (Video Blogging RPF)

Jonny | Pixlriffs (Video Blogging RPF)

Pearl | PearlescentMoon

Xornoth

sort of - Character

You'll see

Additional Tags:

Angst

Hurt/Comfort

roseblings

Wither Rose Alliance on Empires SMP Setting (Video Blogging RPF)

Alternate Universe - Empires SMP Setting (Video Blogging RPF)

Flower Husbands

Nature Wives

Minor/implied Jornoth

Possession

Corruption

Can't Escape the Fallout (Feel the Fire Rain Down)

AndiinaRaethTash

Summary:

Things are back to normal. No, seriously, they are. Sure, Scott’s ice powers are getting a little out of control, and fWhip is occasionally acting a little weird, and Pix can feel something brewing on the horizon, but things are fine, right? If only things would stay that way. But something dark has other plans, and the rulers and their lands will soon find themselves fighting for their lives as light and dark collide in a way that will either bring them all together, or tear them all apart…

Notes:

Here we are, the sequel to Before Something breaks That Cannot Be Fixed! (I'd say long-awaited, but it's only been a month or so.) Hopefully I'll finish this before Empires S2 comes out and consumes my soul, and if my guess is correct, that shouldn't be too hard, considering I'm projecting mid to late summer at the very earliest for that. I'm not quite to the point I wanted to be before I started posting, but I'm close enough, and I've got the inspiration going, so my buffer shouldn't run out. Hopefully. (Last time I said that, I accidentally deleted everything I'd written with no way of getting it back, so you know, knock on wood if you're superstitious and all that.) I'm projecting at least as many chapters as were in Before Something Breaks, but I don't have a final chapter count yet. I'll update the fic when I know for certain. With that out of the way, I'll let you get on to reading! (Chapter title from How Far We've Come by Matchbox Twenty)

Chapter 1: Waking Up at the Start of the End of the World

Once, Scott would have said he’s only a little scared by his ice powers. By now, he’s verging on terrified. There’s an ice storm that’s just now letting up, and it’s barely the first week of summer. An ice storm. In June. Aeor, but these powers were getting out of control.

He’s been on the verge of just heading over to Gem’s and seeing if she could help him; she’s been building a new magical academy since early spring, and from what he’s heard—mostly from Jimmy, one of the only ones brave enough to face the neverending winter—it’s nearly complete.

But he’s had other concerns, other… alright, excuses, to keep him in Rivendell. So he’s not too chuffed when he hears a knock on the door, because it can only be one of the other emperors, most likely one of them in particular.

“Jimmy, I’m not in the mood to—” He stops himself short as he opens the door, because that is not Jimmy.

Sausage raises an eyebrow. “Not in the mood for what? Do I need to give you the shovel talk?”

Scott gapes for a moment before blurting, “Lizzie and Joel already did that.”

They had. It had been rather terrifying, having a ten-foot-tall fish goddess, and her over-protective, hyperactive husband telling him they would absolutely smite him into smithereens if he hurt their little brother. Not that he ever intends to. That is the last thing he wants to do.

Sausage beams and pushes past Scott into the lodge. “Geez, it’s cold. Don’t you guys have summer up here?”

“Usually, yes,” Scott replies, closing the door behind his unexpected guest. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Sausage, but why are you here?”

“Oh, just acting as a messenger boy. I was hoping to see some cooler weather up here, but man, this is not what I had in mind.”

“The message, Sausage?” Scott has to fight not to grit his teeth. Aeor, he’s forgotten how annoying Sausage can be, and he needs him gone before he accidentally hurts him with his uncontrollable ice powers.

Sausage pulls out a scroll as he warms his other hand over the fire. “fWhip sent it,” he says unnecessarily, because Scott can see the seal of the Grimlands on the letter.

Still he takes it, removes the seal, and reads it. He raises an eyebrow as he does so, because that’s… interesting. “fWhip’s called a meeting of the twelve empires?”

“He has?” Sausage asks, scrambling over to read over Scott’s elbow. “Huh. You’d have thought he’d have told me.”

“Maybe he was counting on me telling you, or he was going to tell you when you went back to the Grimlands.” Scott pointedly raises an eyebrow, and Sausage flushes ever so slightly.

So he has been staying in the Grimlands. Jimmy had said something last time he’d been here about Joey complaining that one of Gem or Sausage or both was always with fWhip, and honestly, Scott understands. He’s their brother and/or best friend.

Still, he can’t help but be jealous of that close relationship, even though he knows he shouldn’t. He may not have his brother, but he does have this family, this little group of broken people who were trying to build each other back up by taking pieces of themselves and patching each other up with them.

Scott sets the scroll down on the table. “How are they doing?”

Sausage sighs heavily. “Gem… she says she’s forgiven me, but… she’s still wary. It’s not hard to tell, she won’t let me and fWhip alone for longer than she needs to. As for fWhip—I don’t know, he’s been acting funny. He won’t let us into his forge, he spends an awful lot of time in there, and when he comes out he’s exhausted and snappish.”

“Have you considered that maybe he’s tired of being babysat?” Scott asks, a hint of amusement leaking into his voice, because he knows he would be. Having someone always watching over your shoulder has to be annoying, and if anyone was going to understand that, it’d be Sausage, considering what he went through just three and a half months ago.

Sausage twists his face in consideration. “Maybe. That would actually make sense. Alright,” he says, clapping his hands together, “I’ll see if I can’t get Gem to back off a little.”

Scott nods and pointedly looks at the door. Sausage, thankfully, clues in for once in his life. “I should get going, huh?”

“Probably. I know I have stuff to do, and I can only imagine that you do as well.”

With a nod and a smile, Sausage steps out of the door, letting a blast of cold air in. Scott doesn’t even shudder.

Something is very, very wrong with him.

______

fWhip is nearly bouncing with excitement next to her, and Gem can’t help but smile. It’s good to see him like this, like nothing has changed. On her other side, Sausage is looking around, watching for the other rulers and occasionally making jabs about them to fWhip, who laughs, giddy and visibly shaking.

Currently, they’re at spawn, where the meeting of the empires is to take place. fWhip has pulled out a lectern, a book and quill, and a small table, and set them in the middle of the ring of pedestals. She has no idea what he’s doing—he’s kept quiet about the reason behind this meeting, but if he’s this excited, it’s either something really good or really stupid.

Joey, unsurprisingly is the first to arrive. He is, after all, closest to spawn, and he’s followed by Pix, who smiles at them all, and goes up to Joey to engage him in conversation. Katherine and Shrub arrive together, followed by Jimmy, Joel, and Lizzie, who all arrive at the same time, if not necessarily together. Pearl is next, sunny personality on full display as she greets each and every one of them.

Scott arrives last, so late she’s beginning to wonder if he is coming at all, accompanied by a gust of cold air. He hangs back, avoiding even Jimmy and watching nervously as they all settle down.

fWhip steps forward, fiddling with his scarf, a sure sign that he’s anxious. “Friends, allies, and cod—” he adds that last bit with a quick but genuine grin in Jimmy’s direction “—I’ve asked you here today to reveal a great vessel, the new power in the empires. I’ve been hard at work in the forges of the Grimlands to create, this.”

He produces a golden crown, dotted with jewels of various colours, setting it on the table. As the emperors ooh and ahh, she frowns slightly. She has a bad feeling about this.

“Infused with the magicks of the different empires, this crown grants the user the ability to create one rule that all the empires must comply with. Check the book here at spawn for terms and conditions.” fWhip steps back, looking proud, and all Gem can think is, I was right. This is bad.

[codename-adler]

foxes + onesies (8/9)

based off of that one post i saw and don’t remember, where people once caught Allison wandering around Fox Tower in a giraffe onesie, and i absolutely melted for her. here is the Foxes’ journey to getting a onesie each!

Aaron

TW: mentions of hospitalization and drugs, implications of abuse, mental illness and murder

Aaron tries very hard

that phrase alone could very well sum up his existence

he tries to be a good student

he tries to be a good backliner

he tries to be a good teammate

he tries to be a good person

he tries to be a go- he tries to be a brother

he tries so, so hard

but life is harder

he’d tried being a good son, and failed

his mother was dead, and died hating him

he’d tried being a good boyfriend, and failed

Katelyn was gone, and left him crying

so Aaron was trying, and now?

he was trying to find himself, to grow, to heal…

which was very, very difficult when in counselling sessions with your just-as-traumatized twin brother

they’d both worked through Andrew and Neil’s non-relationship, and through Aaron and Katelyn’s fallout

Aaron had expected it to be the other way around

turns out that while he thought Katelyn deserved better, she thought he deserved better too

she had her own demons to deal with too, in the end

and so while everyone pretty much expected Aaron’s demons to be too big for Katelyn, it was hers that had been too much for the both of them

he couldn’t reach her, couldn’t get through to her, couldn’t help her

one fateful night, she had asked him, sobbing and breathless, to make the call

the call to take her away, the call to save her from herself

the paramedics had put her on a gurney, and they had said their goodbyes

I’m sorry Aaron… I’m so sorry, I wanted to be strong for you… I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m so scared… It hurts so much, Aaron… I’m sorry… Please take care of yourself, baby, please… I’m sorry…

she was wheeled away, and hadn’t seen her in a year since

they corresponded, though

4 months into her admission at a private psychiatric hospital, she had sent him a handwritten letter

she had told him about her routine, her new friendships, her therapists…

she’d told him about the work she was doing on herself, about the traumas she had been too ashamed to share with him…

after the fifth or sixth letter, Aaron had started responding

he never told anyone

until this week

he’d lost count of how many letters he’d received from her, and how many he’d sent her back

but this letter…

this one was different

this one broke his heart so much, that he walked out of his dorm, the letter still clutched in one hand, grabbed Andrew on his way out of Fox Tower, and made him drive to Betsy’s office

without a single word

Betsy was surprised, to say the least, to see Aaron entering first, distress in his eyes, and Andrew following close behind, clueless

Aaron handed Betsy the letter, sat down, elbows on his knees, head in his hands, eyes closed

Bee: Correct me if I’m wrong, Aaron, but from what I understand of the situation, you would like to share this with Andrew?

Aaron: And with you. Bee.

Bee: That is very generous of you Aaron. And brave. Would you like me to read the letter out loud?

Aaron nodded, never looking up

My dear Aaron,

What I’m about to tell you in this letter is very different from our usual correspondence. You know I’ve been working on things since the beginning of my hospitalization. Big things. Ugly things. But important things. And you are not a thing, Aaron, but you are important. You were forced to play a role in the mess that was my life, but that role saved me. From myself. You made the tough call, you took it upon yourself to protect me, even if it meant putting me away and losing me. Losing us.

I’m not so good with spoken words, and I feel safe here, in this bubble we’ve created for ourselves. But I would like you to believe me when I say that the words I’m about to tell you, I would repeat them to you outloud for the rest of my life if it could make amends for what I’ve put you through. One word from you and I would come in person to tell you how much I mean them.

I am grateful for you, Aaron Minyard.

I am eternally thankful that you have crossed the path of my life. You have helped me in more ways than you know, in more ways that I could possibly imagine. It’s so important that you know that, Aaron. It’s important to me, because you deserve to know, and you deserve the recognition. Because I know you don’t think much of yourself. Because I know you think this was all your fault. Because I know you, a little bit, at least. You did the best you could with what you had, and it was enough, Aaron. You cared for me when you didn’t have to, when you couldn’t, when you were going through it yourself, and I can’t thank you enough. But I can try. So here it is: Thank you, Aaron. Thank you. For everything. You were amazing.

However, there is another thing I need to say. A harder thing. But I must take responsibility for my actions, for both my sake and yours. You need to know. You need to know.

I am sorry, Aaron. I am sorry that you had to make that call. I am sorry that you had to witness my breakdown. I am sorry that I had to leave like that. I am sorry that I broke your heart. I am sorry for all the pain and hardship I’ve put you through. I am sorry for all the times I’ve lashed out at you, when really I wanted to lash out at my life. I am sorry for all the times I hurt you, when really I wanted to hurt myself. I am sorry that you had to watch me fall like that. I am sorry that you had to pick up the pieces alone, that you had to get back up alone. I am sorry for all the times I’ve said cruel things just to be mean and to hurt you, for all the grief I’ve caused you, all of it. This is my official, explicit, conscious and honest apology to you. I’m apologizing for all the wrongs I’ve done you, because it was my fault and you didn’t deserve any of it. I take full responsibility. And I am not expecting forgiveness in return. This is a no-strings-attached apology. I could apologize to you forever and still not be worthy of your forgiveness. So I won’t be waiting for it. I won’t be begging for it. This is all yours. I’m sorry, Aaron. I need you to know that. Because I know you think you deserve what happened, because I know you think it was all your fault. It wasn’t. It was mine. It is still mine. And know that I am not only apologizing in words. I will try everything in my power to make it up to you. Whatever it takes. I promise you that, Aaron.

Love,

Katelyn

as Betsy folded the letter, Aaron’s tears dripped down on the office carpet

Andrew was silent, eyes fixed on the piece of paper

Betsy waited a few minutes to let everyone soak in the moment

Bee: This is a very beautiful and heartfelt letter, Aaron. From what I understand, you and Katelyn have been writing letters since she “moved”?

Aaron nodded, still silently crying in his hands

Bee: Are your exchanges always like this?

Aaron shook his head

Bee: Okay, I see. Is this the first time a letter from her has made you cry?

another nod from Aaron

Bee: And why do you think that is?

Aaron: I don’t know…

his voice was rough from crying

Bee: Well, I think I might have an inkling, you tell me if it resonates with you. I believe, Aaron, that this is the first time someone has ever formally apologized to you, yeah? You are not someone that has grown up with that kind of care, that kind of responsibility. That kind of praise. I think you know that this is some kind of opportunity for closure, of course, but it goes deeper than that, doesn’t it? Someone cares for the wrongs they’ve done, for the hurt they’ve caused you. And you are not used to that. You are not used to being apologized to. You are not used to this type of kindness. Katelyn did not have to apologize and express her gratefulness. You didn’t expect her to. But she did. That means something to you, yeah?

Aaron’s heart broke a little more at that, before mending a little, too

he cried harder

and Andrew was watching all of this from his seat, seemingly unconcerned

he knew this wasn’t necessarily about him, that this was about Katelyn, and Aaron, and about showing Andrew that she didn’t deserve his hatred and his knives

but he did care

after he drove Aaron back to the dorms and told Kevin to watch his brother, he went for a drive

to think

he only came back once he had thought of something to do with Aaron

damn Josten for softening him

he threw Neil and Nicky out of their dorm, and went to retrieve the Stitch onesie from the back of his closet

he looked for the brand tag, looked it up online and made his purchase

he even paid for accelerated shipping

the day his order arrived, he went to the same convenience store where he’d found his precious DVD, and bought a stupid ugly postcard with a lighthouse on it

in a very neat handwriting, Andrew wrote what he had to say

he then went looking for his brother, but he didn’t have to look far

since that session with Bee, where Kevin was, Aaron usually was too

and Kevin was always at the court

but Andrew found them both sitting on the court’s floor, all geared up, yet watching something non Exy-related on Kevin’s phone

weird

that didn’t stop Andrew

he went back to the locker room, refusing to disturb the weird little thing that was going on there

he left the package and the postcard in Aaron’s locker, and left

a few hours later, as Kevin went to shower and Aaron opened his locker, Andrew’s gift was found

the postcard had slipped to the back of the locker, so Aaron retrieved the plastic bag and opened it first

he didn’t understand

it was a big, fluffy thing, bright yellow

what the fuck

it’s Pikachu

it’s a Pikachu onesie

it’s a fucking Pikachu onesie

what the fuck

he hadn’t thought about Pokemons since… well, since Tilda died

he had collected them, the cards, and the figurines

but he’d sold the toys for drug money

and he’d lost all his cards in the… accident

he’d left his three hundred-something card collection in the car, for some reason he couldn’t remember

but the crash had burnt and bloodied them all

when Nicky had adopted the twins, he had bought Aaron some new ones, but it didn’t compare… it couldn’t replace what he had lost

and now he was holding an adult-sized Pikachu one-piece pajama

he still couldn’t wrap his head around it when he found the postcard peeking from the back of his locker

he took it, his hand trembling terribly

he read the back

later, Kevin found Aaron sitting on the bench, still in his Exy uniform, smiling but crying

He’s so fucking stupid, Kevin, look at this shit

Kevin looked, indeed, at this shit

Kevin didn’t understand what he was looking at, but then Aaron handed him the postcard

Aaaron hadn’t told this story to anyone but Kevin, so he understood immediately what it said, and who wrote it

Kevin placed his big hand on the back of Aaron’s neck and squeezed a bit, an offer of comfort

he still didn’t understand what the yellow monstrosity was supposed to be, but he understood what it all meant

Aaron held the card closer to his heart than the onesie

everytime things became hard with Andrew, he wore Pikachu and he looked at the postcard

he focused on the little lighthouse, on the small, precise letters, on the ink of the pen

he focused on the words

Sorry I trashed your Pokemon cards

[sityoursiredassdown]

Nobody asked for this rant and I rarely comment on the acotar fandom but it still amazes me that people don’t seem to get they very real running theme of people aren’t perfect that Sarah has put into just about every book she writes. It was a problem I saw in the ToG fandom as well but I’m paying attention to Acotar because a lot of familiar (and new) drama has stirred up with Acosf being out. 

Probably gonna ramble so if you’re as tired as I am hit the “read more.” Also, spoilers, obviously. 

Morality in Characters

Characters being named problematic or irredeemable for something or another is a long running issue in multiple fandoms across a variety of media. That’s its whole separate issue, but one thing that drew me to SJM’s books in the first place was how willing she is to let characters make mistakes. To let themselves believe they are in the right even if we, the readers, know they’re not. 

She lets them justify their anger, lust, panic, doubt, longing, the scope of human emotions. She lets them be right but she also lets them, most often, be incredibly wrong about an emotional situation they are in. She lets them hit rock fucking bottom. But most of all she lets them change their mind, lets them gain a new perspective or move on from something that had felt so important fifty chapters before. And it is an incredibly realistic journey of being human (I know they’re all fae but you get what I mean.)

Any book written by Sarah is going to feature characters that have flaws, some changeable some that are ingrained in them--no person alive is created without personality traits that can never quite shake, can only try to work on, or suffer the consequences from their mistakes. 

Rhysand and Nesta are big examples in the Acotar series. 

Rhysand can be manipulative and scheming, withholding information and thinking he knows what’s best because he’s the smartest person in the room. 

Nesta can be as cold as ice, petty, and downright cruel with her words alone, lashing out and biting like a rabig dog for trying to get close.  

People in different sides of the fandom will lash out at either for these respective traits, citing the mistakes and problematic behavior each character has exhibited in the various books as reason. And I, by no means, am saying that we need to condone the different things various characters have done. The mistake is believing that’s ALL they are. 

Rhysand is also incredibly loyal, generous, thoughtful, and caring to not only his family but to essentially anyone he comes across when not in High Lord Mode.

Nesta is also fiercely protective, brave, insightful, and capable of being incredibly selfless when she cares, when something truly matters. 

The good and bad traits exist in both characters, as they exist in all characters because that’s how people work. Their bad traits lead to mistakes that we can criticize for what they are without condemning the character on a whole, because that is not all they are. And whether there is fallout/forgiveness with other characters makes sense because these are all people intricately connected with their own thoughts and feelings and reactions to situations. 

Which brings me to: 

Nesta vs. Feyre

This, by far, continues to be one of the most aggravating parts of the fandom. Nesta is a naturally divisive character, one I’ve always loved. Because, as stated above, I can find issue with how she treats those around her but also understand that it comes from a place of trauma. The whole point of Acosf is for her to go on that journey and explore why she is the way she is and the journey she takes, it was never going to be solved in the trilogy or the novella. 

While I don’t think Feyre is perfect (that’s the point, none of them are) it does rankle me that parts of the fandom read the trilogy, went on that journey with her, and decided she had become some entitled snob that didn’t deserve to be in the books anymore because she got fed up with how Nesta was acting. The inner circle also was treated similarly. 

In Acosf, there are certainly scenes where Nesta isn’t trusted or respected by members of the inner circle, and at that point we can say they’re in the wrong because we were on Nesta’s journey with her. But trust, understanding, often takes time to rebuild/gain when its been broken and Nesta had certainly been burning bridges back in Frost and Starlight.  

Nesta and Feyre have both suffered trauma, and the thing about trauma is everyone handles it differently. A reason it took Nesta much longer to get help and go on that journey to self love is because she continuously fought against and pushed away the people that reached out to her. Feyre, while wary of Rhysand and the inner circle as they took her in, was more willing to open up. 

Nesta being criticized by other characters for her self-destructive behavior doesn’t mean they don’t care about her or are terrible people. She was never going to go on that journey of self-love and personal growth we all wanted her to have, without a push. The point in the storytelling is to fray those dynamics so they can be rebuilt stronger and from a healthier foundation because Nesta finally loves herself. 

Despite how different they are and the way they’ve clashed, Feyre and Nesta love each other. Because by the end of Acosf, they’ve truly seen and accepted each other as complex people, good and bad. Yet we as fandoms so often seem to think if there’s bad, there can be no good. 

Change

Circling back around to the overall morality of the characters, their mistakes and flaws, one thing SJM has always shown in her books is change. That people and what they want are constantly changing and evolving. 

Characters can be in love, look like they’re meant to be....until they’re not. 

A Character can have a goal, a reasoning, a desire so strong that it feels like they couldn’t want anything else...until they realize it’s not what they needed at all. 

SJM has always let this build across her stories, always goes through her characters emotions and reasonings for this change rather than telling us to accept it. 

The one time I think she erred in this was Morrigan’s sexuality and the sub sequential dismantling of the Morrigan/Azriel ship that had felt so certain in Acomaf. I will clarify. I have no issue with Mor being queer and only mean that the reveal was used as a plot device/twist. 

And of course, that shifted into quite a bit of debate about Lucien/Elain/Azriel, which has rebirthed with Acosf and the special Azriel chapter (I will say I have not read the chapter, didn’t get that copy, but lord I’ve seen the metas.)

Change is a big theme in SJM’s books, especially with ships. She is not afraid to jump around more than once, but most often, the endgame love story feels right. Of course not everyone may agree with this, but that’s always where I ended up after finishing her various books. And of course, everyone is free to ship what isn’t endgame to their heart’s content. 

My final point of this long winded rant is, these characters across these books are messy, complex individuals. Sometimes they have unhealthy behavior, say or do terrible things, and have thoughts that are going to lead to self-destruction. But that’s what makes them vibrant and real, because they can never be perfect. We can love these characters without it meaning we condone whatever it is they do. 

And if you’re this far into a SJM series and haven’t realized that these journeys and these people are never going to be simple and clean-cut for some idealized standard you have, then you may have picked up the wrong book.    

P.S. If you have read all this just so you can try to tell me whatever stan camp you’re in is the only correct one; you’re getting blocked. 

[bruhlsbees]

it was real enough || baron helmut zemo x heike zemo

summary: heike zemo spends her last moments with her son, carl, and father-in-law, heinrich, before the battle of sokovia

pairing: baron helmut zemo x heike zemo

warnings: i always say angst but this one is for real gonna rip your heart out, major character death, heike clinging to carl in their last moments, sad phone call that ends too soon

word count: 3,502

a/n: based on this set of sentences specifically "it was real enough", in mcu zemo's wife's name is not said, so i went with her comic name of heike, also according to his mcu fandom wiki - zemo's son's name is carl!

May 4, 2015.

“Don’t worry. They’re fighting in the city. We’re miles from harm.” Helmut whispered, holding his wife’s delicate face in his hands, stroking her cheekbones before resting his own forehead against hers.

Heike grasped onto Helmut’s hands, closing her eyes as she embraced her husband, “I know...I know, but the sounds of gunfire- the screaming, Carl can’t sleep well, Helmut...I don’t know what to do.” She didn’t try and hold back her tears as Helmut kissed her face, peppering slow and gentle kisses as he listened to her sniffle, crying quietly, “I wish we could leave...go somewhere...anywhere!”

“I know, I know. I wish we could, but it’ll be over soon. Yes? You and Carl will be safe here with my father. He will take care of you while I’m gone and until I return, and then we will leave. Perhaps Latvia? Carl enjoys the sun there.”

Running his hands down Heike’s arms, Helmut squeezed her elbows, watching as she slowed her breathing, calming herself down before nodding in agreement, “Yes, I would enjoy that.”

Helmut leaned forward, kissing his wife once more before letting out a shaky sigh, not wanting to leave her. “Please, Helmut...please come home. I can’t lose you.” Heike admitted, her voice cracking.

To him, Helmut thought this was just a temporary departure, hugging his wife tight against him as he whispered sweet reassurances into her ear as he always did. Little did he know, this would be the last.

Before Helmut left to join the others of the EKO Scorpion squad, he stood in the doorway, doing his best to stay strong as his father held his wife and son, doing his equal best to stay strong. Heike and Carl, on the other hand, were not holding themselves together - he couldn’t blame them though, if it weren’t for his own bundle of nerves that were forcing him to stay calm, he probably would be in the same boat as them.

Kneeling to his son’s height, Helmut pulled Carl in for one last hug, holding him close as he cradled his head in his hands, “You look after your mother and grandfather for me while I’m gone. Can you do that, my brave boy?”

Nodding, Carl squeezed his father tight, his sniffles calming him down for the moment, leaning into his father’s kiss against his head before pulling back with him. Watching as his father stood, Carl stumbled back into his mother’s grasp, squeezing her tight as he buried his face into her side, crying into her shirt.

Helmut wished he could stay, to be with his family, but he knew that he had to go - he had to help protect Sokovia and make sure that his family would see the end of this. Feeling the tugs on his heart as he turned, Helmut forced himself to exit the home, closing the door behind him. When the door clicked shut, he heard Carl’s sobs break out, flinching at how painful they sounded. He wanted so desperately to turn and run back inside, but his walkie crackled on, turning his attention back to joining the other members of his squad.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

May 6, 2015.

The night had been filled with screaming and crying throughout the city of Novi Grad. Heike tried so desperately to ignore the sounds of gunfire and explosion, but it seemed the harder she tried, the louder they became.

Sleep for Heike did not come - not since the beginning of the fallout. Laying in bed with Carl, Heike held her son close, rubbing his back and kissing his head as he slept, flinching occasionally. Heike tried to hold back the grunts as Carl would kick her in his worst fits.

If Helmut were here, he would know what to do.

Blinking away tears, Heike sighed and looked over Carl to see the sun begin to peek through the curtains. Deciding that she wouldn’t be sleeping anytime soon, Heike pulled herself away from Carl who was clinging to her, gently moving out of the bed and down the hall to the kitchen.

Heike avoided looking out the windows, not wanting to see the damage the city endured in just the one night. She knew it couldn’t be good, judging by the troubling noises that were heard all night and into the morning. If she were to look out the window, her mind would go to Helmut - wondering where he was in all this and if he would return.

Opening the cupboard, Heike pulled down a teacup and prepped to make a pot of cherry blossom tea, blinking away tears as the water boiled.

“So, what is your poison?”

Heike smiled at Helmut from across the table, the light tune from the piano brought the atmosphere down. The restaurant would soon be closing, but the two didn’t have any plans to leave anytime soon.

Scooping a slice from the cake the two were sharing, Heike, put the fluffy chocolate dessert in her mouth, blushing and shaking her head. “It’s silly...but...I love cherry blossom tea.”

Helmut couldn’t help but smile at the confession, not expecting it to be so innocent. Here he was, planning on inviting her to go get drinks, only to find out that her own personal poison was not liquor, but tea.

“Cherry blossom tea? I would have never taken you for the cherry blossom type of lady.” Helmut teased, stealing the last bite of cake before placing his spoon on the plate.

Heike couldn’t help but giggle, putting her spoon on the plate as well before shrugging, “I never was too fond of hard drinks. I always enjoyed a warm cup of tea. Sometimes with a turkish delight, if I was feeling adventurous.”

She couldn’t believe it, but she actually got cheeky and winked at him. They had been going on a few dates now, so this wasn’t too forward, but for her, this wasn’t in the norm. Heike was rather reserved, but with Helmut, something came out in her.

Reaching across the table, Helmut took Heike’s hand into his, squeezing her soft hand into his rougher one, “Turkish delights? My, aren’t you the rebel.” He teased, grinning at her when he noticed her cheeks going more red.

The sound of the kettle whistling pulled Heike from her thoughts, quickly pulling the kettle from the stove to calm down before placing on the cooler burner. Placing a cherry blossom tea bag in her cup, Heike poured the boiling water over the bag and felt her body relax when the scent of cherry blossom hit her.

When she settled the kettle back down, she picked up the tea cup, not noticing how shaky she was until the light clattering of the cup hit against the plate. Choking back the sob, Heike felt the tears rolling down her cheeks, unable to take a drink of the tea.

She pushed the tea cup back onto the counter, burying her face into her hands to muffle her crying, not wanting to wake up Carl or Helmut’s father, Heinrich, as it was still fairly early. She had been holding in her tears for so long, her worries over where Helmut was at that moment stuffed down. Heike only wanted to make sure that Carl was okay, forgetting her own delicate state of mind.

Heike’s tears continued to fall, soon unable to even bite down on her lip to muffle her cries. What she was not expecting, however, was to be pulled into such a tender embrace.

When she recognized that it was Heinrich, Heike wrapped her arms around the larger man’s middle, sobbing into his chest as he held her, stroking her hair.

“Shh, Heike, it’s okay. It’s okay. He will be back soon.” Heinrich assured, humming lowly to try and take her mind off of the situation. Heinrich was very fond of his family, adoring his daughter-in-law and grandson. He knew this was hard on the both of them, with Helmut being gone, and he felt it was only fair to do what Helmut would do if he were here for them.

After a few long moments, giving Heike the time to calm herself down, Heinrich felt Heike pull back, sniffling as she wiped away her tears from her face and her nose. “Thank you…” She whispered quietly, her voice cracking from the painful sobs.

Smiling, Heinrich tucked Heike’s hair behind her ears and kissed the top of her head, “Carl needs his mother now more than ever, but that does not mean you cannot have your moments to break down. Even the strongest still need their moments.”

Nodding in understandment, Heike looked up at Heinrich and smiled, looking down at the counter to collect her tea once again, this time taking a sip of the warm liquid. The warmth calmed her down enough for her to catch her breath, processing what Heinrich had told her before taking another deep sip, finishing the cup. Heike set the empty cup on the counter before making her way towards the window. She knew she shouldn’t have looked out the curtain, but her curiosity got the best of her.

When she saw the damage unfold beneath her, her heart sank. She couldn’t imagine the lives lost, the damage it caused for everyone, all while the Avengers were doing what they thought was for the best. She didn’t hate them, no, she knew they were doing what they thought was best - but she couldn’t help but wonder if they ever stopped to think about how their actions would affect the towns they fought in?

“Carl will probably be waking up soon, perhaps I should make us something to eat?” Heinrich offered, approaching Heike and placing a gentle hand onto her shoulder, pulling her away from the window.

Pulled from the window, along with her thoughts, Heike looked up at Heinrich and nodded, “Yes, that sounds lovely, I’ll go get Carl...I just- I have to make a call first.”

Heike excused herself from the kitchen and made her way down the hall and into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her before she sat on the toilet, opening her phone and scrolling until she found Helmut’s contact, pressing the ‘call’ icon and putting the phone to her ear.

She knew that Helmut wouldn’t answer, couldn’t answer, she had tried just last night, asking when he would be home and trying to pretend in some sad way that everything was fine. This time, though, she knew she wouldn’t be able to pretend.

“Helmut...my love...it’s me again,” Heike began, steadying her voice before continuing, “I know you’re not able to talk right now and I’m sorry if this is interfering in any sort of way but I-” She paused, feeling herself being to choke up before she took a deep breath, “I just wanted to call and tell you that I love you. It’s silly to say over the phone, through a voicemail, but I fear something might happen that we both did not see coming...I know, I know I shouldn’t be talking this way, but one of us has to be realistic. Of course, I am praying, praying to anyone out there that this nightmare will be over, and soon you’ll be back in bed with me, but so far nobody has heard my prayers.” The tears that fell from her cheeks began to fall freely now, unable to be contained. Heike did her best to try and stop, to collect herself for the remaining seconds she had, but she just fought through them. “My only prayer now is that you return home safely...alive and well. I don’t care if you come back with a missing leg or in a coma - I’ll take care of you Helmut, I will, I just want you back. I need you back. Okay? I need to go now, but I just wanted to call and tell you how much I-”

The call dropping made Heike’s stomach sink. Pulling the phone away from her ear, she stared at the screen and stared mortified as the voicemail timed out. Her face contorted, squishing up as she let out another cry, holding herself tight as the emotions took over her body.

The knock at the door was drowned by the sounds of her cries, it wasn’t until she heard Carl’s sweet voice that brought her to.

“Mama? Are you in there?”

Sniffling, Heike wiped her face and moved to the door, unlocking it and opening it up before staring down at Carl, his hair messy and still in his pyjamas. He had a concerned expression on his look, one that matched Helmut’s all too well.

“Were you crying?” He asked innocently, reaching his hands up to feel the wet spots on her face. Heike could only sigh, dropping to his height as she knew lying wouldn’t help him, “Yes, my dear. I was...but I’m okay now. Okay? I am just missing your papa is all.”

Pulling Carl in for a hug, Heike held her son close, rubbing his back as he squeezed the fabric of her shirt, “When will Papa come home?” He asked sweetly.

“Soon, my dear, soon. Once he is done helping Iron Man and the rest of the Avengers, he will come home.” She smiled, feeling Carl grow giddy at the mention of the Avengers and specifically Iron Man, before clinging to his mother tighter.

“Your grandfather is making us breakfast, why don’t we go join him so he doesn’t eat alone?”

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

The night came quickly for the Zemo family - along with the growing destruction of Novi Grad. The streets below began to pile with cars and waste from the buildings and Heinrich went so far as to board up the windows after witnessing someone fall to their death. Whether it was purposeful or not, Heinrich wouldn’t allow Carl nor Heike to see the horrors of war - ‘least not more than they already saw.

The three of them were laying in bed together, watching old movies that were on some VHS tapes that Heike found in the closet. Carl, fast asleep in her arms, clung to his mother’s waist, while Heike, slowly began to doze off. She hadn’t been paying too much to the movie, in fact, she didn’t even know what exactly was playing, but she was happy to have enjoyed the peaceful moment, despite everything going on outside their home.

Unfortunately, the horrors did not end, and their peaceful night was soon ruined. The blood-curdling scream woke Carl awake, sending him into a crying fit while Heike held him, doing her best to calm him down while Heinrich held them both, consoling them as what he feared most soon approached them.

“I don’t want to die…” Heike whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks as she kept Carl’s face buried into her stomach. She looked up at her father-in-law, eyes red as she shook her head. Heinrich could only frown, not knowing what to say other than pull her close, letting her cry into his chest. As a realist himself, Heinrich knew the possibility of the building they were in to be targeted was high, but there was still a part of him that wished for the alternative.

The flames that flickered outside the windows signaled that there was sadly no way out. He didn’t want his grandson, nor daughter-in-law to have to go out in such a painful way, so he did what he believed was the only thing he could do - hold them close and sing a lullaby.

Heike’s face was buried tightly into Heinrich’s chest, Carl’s in his mother’s. The sound of Heinrich singing an infamous Sokovian lullaby calmed them enough to not think so hard as to what was going on around them. As the flames rose and the song continued, what came next was more painful than seeing a child cry - but the death of a child itself.

While the heavy concrete collapsed on them, they were fortunate enough to not feel the pain, dying on the direct hit. Even though there was no pain, the three still lost their lives, not having a single chance of survival - which perhaps was harder than the hit.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

May 8, 2015.

Helmut had been digging for two days. Two days since the initial end of the battle when he returned home to find the building in pieces and when the smoke cleared enough for him to be able to search. He had been told that there was no use in searching, that it would take too long to find them and he didn’t need to go through that pain...but Helmut had to be the one, he wouldn’t sit back while some stranger dug to find his family’s bodies for him.

He ignored the painful cuts that dug into his palms, the numbness in his body a shield against the physical pain he was enduring. Helmut picked up piece by piece, tossing it over his side as he furiously dug deeping into the rubble, searching for any sign of his family. He hardly slept, continuing to dig deeper in the area he imagined his family to be. The surviving members of his squad became worried quickly, unsure as to what to do in this situation. They hadn’t lost families, ‘least not in the way that Helmut lost his. Nobody could understand what he was going through, and while they wanted to help, it became clear that Helmut found it worse to have help than do it on his own.

By the early afternoon of the second day, his motions began to slow, becoming weaker as the time went on. Helmut knew he couldn’t give up though, he wouldn’t, not until he found their bodies. It was a sad prayer really, asking whomever to let him at least find their bodies, but it was one he partially wished never came true - for he wished that his family had never died in the first place.

What stopped his movements was the arm sticking out of the rubble. He recognized the watch as being his father’s and his breathing stopped, catching in his throat. This was it, this was what he had been searching for, yet at the same time was dreading. Quickly moving the rubble off of them, Helmut let out a cry when he finally uncovered the bodies, seeing his father holding his delicate wife, and his wife holding their precious son.

He didn’t know who, but one of his squad members quickly rushed to him, pulling him off the bodies as he Helmut threw himself over them, ignoring the painfully obvious state they were in. The squad member held Helmut in his arms, letting the man cry as medical members carefully made their way up onto the rubble, doing their best to carefully collect the bodies and placing them in bags to be taken away.

Helmut’s eyes stayed on the bags, watching as they were loaded into trucks and taken to the nearest area for body collection and identification after the war’s aftermath. He felt his heart racing, his head resting against his friend’s chest as he blood soon boiled.

This was their fault. The Avengers, of all places they could have chosen, decided to come to Sokovia, their home, and destroy it. Destroyed their city, their homes, and families. Glaring into the distance, Helmut continued to let the tears run silent down his cheeks. He could picture his family’s death playing in his head. How scared they must have been and for him to be where? ‘Helping’ the Avengers as they hardly helped them.

And where were they now? The Avengers? Gone. Back to their own cities, their own homes, and families. And where did that leave Sokovia? The place they decided to play war at? In ruins...destroyed into nothing - leaving Sokovia and it’s people lost and without a home.

Closing his eyes, Helmut turned his head and rested his face against his friend’s chest, clinging to the front of his shirt before letting out a painful scream, soon faltering back into sobs.

Helmut would miss Heike’s hair, how soft it felt when it finally dried after being washed.

He would miss the sound of Carl’s laughter, how eager he was to be ‘just like his papa’.

Helmut would even miss his father’s awful snoring, and how Heike would always do her best to not be frustrated in the morning when Heinrich would ask how everyone slept.

No longer would he be able to kiss his family and hold them close, but only have the memories of their souls and the voice messages to hear the sweet sounds of their voices.

This was the only way now that Helmut had any way of being with his family, through the memories. It was real enough to get by, to feel comfort while alone, but it wasn’t real enough to move on.

[doyumacy]

FALLOUT |LH| FOUR

*gif not mine

PAIRING: donghyuck x reader bodyguard!donghyuck

WARNINGS: mentions of yuta. swearing, blood (i’ll let you know when there are parts with blood mentions), smut (sixty-nine) oral (both receviging), violence, angst

WORD COUNT: 2,5K

 FIVE

The next morning Donghyuck advised you to work from home since the police were still investigating and interrogating all of your employees, including him and Sungho. Donghyuck had a really good poker face and the police discharged him quickly. And then he thought it wasn’t a poker face but his true self. He was indeed worried and wanted to protect you to the point he forgot the reason why he was hired.

You hated crying. You hated how weak it made your look and how inadequate it made you feel. You hated how easily your tears could be triggered by something as simple as a letter. You didn't want to be scared. You wanted to be brave and face whatever was happening.

You couldn't even finish your work because the tears in your eyes were blinding you and your phone won't stop buzzing getting texts from your mom and your friends. You were thankful they were worried but you simply didn't have the mind to talk to any of them.

After a long bath and crying your eyes out, you got out of your room and went to the living room turning on the tv. You needed to distract yourself and started watching your favourite tv show.

"Are you okay?" Donghyuck asked suddenly behind the couch where you were laying. “I made you breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry at all,” you said, eyes still focused on the tv.

Donghyuck sat next to you and held your hand, what made you turn to him. You pull yourself close to him and rest your head on his left shoulder. “What are we watching?” He inquired, playing with your head.

“Grey’s Anatomy,” you told him.

“Isn’t it that long ass show?” He mocked.

You chuckled. “Yes, and I won't allow any slander against it.”

“Okay, then I’ll stay quiet,” Donghyuck kissed your forehead.

By noon, someone rang your bell and Donghyuck checked who it was. Yuta. What the hell was he doing there?

You let Yuta come in, and as soon as he saw you he hugged you tightly. Donghyuck rolled his eyes and tightened his jaw.

“I came as soon as I heard, are you okay? Did you get hurt?” Yuta cupped your face in his hands and you nodded.

“I’m fine, it was just a letter. You’re worse than my mom,” you mocked him.

He sighed. “Don’t blame me. I was so scared for a second.”

“I’m fine, Yuta. The police and the security team I hired are working on it,” you relieved him.

He nodded and looked at Donghyuck. “How the hell did you let this pass? Are you even doing your work properly?”

“Yuta…” you looked at him.

“Excuse me?” Donghyuck glanced at him. “Who are you to talk about how I do my job? And in case you didn't know, I work for her, not you.”

“Well, in case you didn't hear someone inside the building, send that shit. Why don't you start doing your job?”

“You are going to tell me how to do my work?” Donghyuck walked to him.

“I have to apparently,” Yuta stared at him.

And that was the most awkward moment in your life, standing between two men who were about to beat the shit out of them. You placed a hand on both of their chest and looked at them. “Let’s take it easy, guys. The important thing is that no one is hurt, okay?”

Yuta and Donghyuck stared at each other for a couple of seconds and then Donghyuck looked at you and nodded. Your phone started buzzing for the sixth time and you groaned. “I have to take that, it’s my mom. I’ll be back and please don't kill each other.”

They both nodded and Yuta sat on the grey couch and Donghyuck leaned against the wall. There was a silence and then Yuta looked at him. “How much is her father paying you?”

“I beg your pardon?” Donghyuck glanced at him.

“Don’t play with me, I know why you’re here,” Yuta relaxed his body on the couch and unfastened his suit jacket. “I didn't know until yesterday and guess the letter was too much.”

Donghyuck furrowed. “You sent the letter?”

“Well, not me of course. I paid someone from her office to do so,” Yuta shrugged. “If I would've known her father was one step ahead of me I wouldnt have hired someone as well.”

Donghyuck wanted to throw up. Yuta was behind the letter and wanted you dead. And so did your dad.

“Why are you here?” Donghyuck stared at him.

“Just wanted to make sure of the situation and how critical it is, but she seems fine.” Yuta said. “When are you planning to kill her?

“That’s none of your business,” Donghyuck told him.

“It kinda is,” Yuta stood up, “you see, her dad and I are planning on dividing her company once she’s dead.”

“She cares about you, did you know that?” Donghyuck looked at him.

“Well, can I say? Business is business,” Yuta shrugged. “Yeah, she’s nice and I loved her, but that’s in the past.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Says the man who kills for a living.”

You hung up and finished the call with your mom and returned to the living room hoping Donghyuck and Yuta didn’t kill each other.

“Sorry about that, my mom was freaking out,” you put your phone on the table and looked at both men. “Is there a problem?”

“No.” Yuta turned to you and smiled. “I should go, I have a few meetings.”

You nodded. “Thanks for coming.”

“Anytime,” he winked at you. “I know this isn’t the best time to talk about this, but my assistant already contacted yours so we can read the contracts together.”

“Oh yes, sure. Maybe next week?” You inquired.

“Looking forward,” Yuta beamed at you and looked at Donghyuck. “See you around, buddy.”

Yuta left your house and you looked at Donghyuck who didn’t have the pleasant look on his face. He seemed annoyed. You frowned. “What?”

“Is there a way you can’t stop seeing him?” Donghyuck stared at you.

“What? Why?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Just because.”

You stared at him for a couple of seconds and then chuckled. “Wait, are you jealous of him?”

“What? No.” He looked at you. “I simply… don't like him. That 's it.”

You crossed your arms and huffed before taking a step closer to your bodyguard. You had an intense staring contest before Donghyuck reached up and cupped your face, giving you a quick peck. It was less than a second though until Donghyuck went back in and gave you a proper kiss. He felt you grinning into the kiss and he started grinning as well. You kissed a little longer before Donghyuck pulled away for good. "I'm not jealous. I could never be jealous of him because you have your eyes on me, baby."

You placed your hands on Donghyuck's jacket, gripping it. "Take this off." Before the bodyguard could do it, you began slipping off his jacket while the bodyguard had a smirk on his face. The moment got cut short when someone knocked on the door. The two tense up, Donghyuck hurriedly backing away from the celebrity.

"(Y/N)?" Yuta called you. "I forgot my keys inside, can I come in?"

You sighed and gave Donghyuck a quick peck. "We'll continue this later."

You closed the door of your small home office and slumped against it, sighing. Even if you were working from home you were exhausted. And starving. Lucky for you, Donghyuck had made some pasta, that to be honest, it might have been the best pasta you've ever eaten. And also you had two glasses of wine and suddenly felt so sleepy. Donghyuck almost carried you to your room and left you alone so you could change into your pajamas. But you couldn't sleep.

Donghyuck was surprised by you when you slipped into his room. Donghyuck wasn't going to sleep yet and he knew you weren't either.

Donghyuck was out of his suit and in his pajamas looking fine as ever. The sleeveless tank top he had on showcased his toned arms and you felt his mouth watering. Donghyuck laid on the bed beckoning for you to come closer.

You closed the door and made your way on the bed, straddling the bodyguard. Donghyuck placed his hands underneath your shirt, caressing your hips leaving shivers down your back.

"You look beautiful on top of me," Donghyuck remarked.

Your face heated up. "Stop, I didn't know where else to sit."

"There's literally plenty of space in this bed and you chose my lap," He smiled at you.

"Oh, whatever," you hit Donghyuck softly on his chest. Donghyuck grabbing your wrist to stop you before moving forward to kiss your knuckles. You placed your hand on his chest, interlocking your fingers.

"What are you doing to me?" Donghyuck looked straight at your lips.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about, I'm innocent," you smiled playfully and bent down to plant a kiss on his lips. It started off sweet before he licked your lips, asking for entrance which you complied. Donghyuck's hands ended up back on your waist as the two of you had a full blown make out session.

"Can I tell you something?" you said between kisses.

Donghyuck hummed and kissed your neck giving it small bites.  "I wanna suck you off so bad," you told him as you kissed him again.

He groaned against your lips and tightened your ass. "I wanna suck you off too."

You pouted and your hands started to trail down to his pair of sweatpants. He stared at you for a couple of seconds and then smiled marvelously.  “Sixty-nine.”

“Sit on my face and suck my cock.” you wiggled on top of him, feeling his hard cock. He groaned a bit, “please? I really want to taste you.”

You bite your lip and nodded. Donghyuck smiled at you as he made quick work of his own pajamas, making you follow right after. When his eyes came back to you, you were shirtless and your breasts were right in front of him. He slowly cursed under his breath, admiring just how beautiful you really were.

“Holy fuck,” his hands made their way along your sides and going to cup you. You sighed into his hold, his fingers starting to pinch and pull at your nipples.

You whined, “please, Donghyuck.” you opened your eyes again to look at him, “let me suck you off.”

Donghyuck groaned and let go of your breasts, trailing his hands to your panties. “Take these off.” You nodded, making quick words in slipping them off, leaving you completely bare in front of him. So beautiful.

Your hands tugged on his sweatpants, “take these off.” You smiled sweetly at him. He followed your command, and you watched as his cock springs free from his underwear and sweatpants. You couldn't help from licking your lips at the sight, wanting nothing more than to have him in your mouth. He was so pretty. And so big.

“Turn around and sit on my face.” You could feel your body starting to heat up, following what he said. When you started to inch closer to his face, you became more aware of how close he was to your pussy. “Don’t be nervous. Shit, you’re so damn pretty like this, so wet. And all for me.”

You felt his hands make way to your thighs, his fingers digging into the skin there, “Donghyuck...” you wanted to say more, but he was already working on your core before you could get anything else out. You gasped, a sound of surprise leaving you and turning into a soft whine.

“So sweet, too,” he hummed against you. the vibrations made you curled forward, suddenly aware of his cock that sat there painfully hard in front of you. two could play, you thought. when your hand shakily wrapped around him, slowly going up and down, he groaned against you and pulled away for a second. “Oh fuck.”

He quickly dived right back into your pussy when he felt you spat on his cock before licking up the base. Donghyuck sighed, his tongue running along your folds before pressing into your clit. You moaned as you sucked on his tip, one of your hands gripping tightly onto his thigh while the other was wrapped around his dick. It was so hard to focus when he began to moan against you and dip his tongue inside of you, curling it to reach a certain spot.

“Hyuck,” you called out his name, and his ears perked up at the sweet sound. He worked his tongue against you faster and your hips bucked against him, wanting more.

He let out a choked groan, the sound going straight through you as his tongue continuously curled inside of you. It felt so good, your mind turning hazy as you tried your best to bob your head and stay focused on him. When you pulled back from his cock, a string of saliva attached there between your lips and you let out a loud moan of his name when you felt him press his fingers against your clit. You kept jerking him off, your head resting against his thigh.

“Fuck, fuck. shit, Hyuck, you’re so good, feels so fucking good.” he hummed, speeding up again and making you start to grind down against his tongue and fingers. You swirl your tongue around the head of his cock and moaned, the vibrations making him buck his own hips into your mouth.

“Fuck,” he cursed, “just like that, baby.” he felt as you started to speed up your own ministrations, bobbing your head quicker and wrapping your hand around what you couldn't reach. “

“Hyuck I...” you pulled away from his cock, but your hand didn't stop its fast pace on him, “I'm gonna cum... fuck you’re gonna make me cum.”

“Cum for me,” he licked you and his fingers picked up pace on your clit, making you wait out a cry, “Cum on my tongue, baby."

Your hand tightened around his cock, making him hiss as you let out a string of moans and cries, your orgasm washing over you. He couldn't help himself from cumming with you, the sounds you made being enough to set him off. You felt as some of his cum spurted onto your hand and even a little on your chin. And he licked you clean while groaning against you, helping you ride it out as you wildly buck your hips against his face.

After you came back from your climax, you rolled off of him, your legs giving out on you as you lay next to him.

“You’re so hot fucked out,” Donghyuck commented, looking at you like you carry heaven in your eyes.

You laugh breathlessly, “thanks, but I'm not quite done with you."

"Easy, baby. We have all night," Donghycuk kissed you, pulling you close to him.

[mangosimoothie]

the video game meme is perfect so for aja: mass effect (besides the fact we know aliens exist in the bachelorette cinematic universe) + wii sports + the legend of zelda + bloodborne! also this isn't on the list but i'm making up my own bonus question from my favorite game for ALL the bachelorette characters LMAO: "fallout - how well would your oc fair in the apocalypse?"

Love these for her 😂 

Mass Effect - What is your muse’s opinion on space/aliens? Do they believe their species is alone in the universe, or is there something else out there? Have they ever wanted to visit space? Earthlings were pretty late to the space travel game. It feels like Sixamians come to Earth so casually, but we haven’t really figured out how to get to them as easily. So Aja really never even thought about space travel as a possibility until she met X’irron. She likes how Sixamians communicate telepathically and wishes she could've asked him more about it. She thought it was really cute how X’i glowed his emotions - it was definitely easy to tell how he was feeling. He spent the whole date glowing bright pink. She's sure if she got the opportunity to visit another planet she'd take it. Maybe even to Sixam? 

Wii Sports - Is your muse fit? If yes, what is their favourite type of sports activity? Do they have great stamina, or need to take breaks? Very much so! Aja loves to be adventurous on her travel vlogs, so that means lots of challenging hikes, rock climbing, traversing ruins, mountain biking, skiing - you name it. She’s gotta be fit to make the kind of content she wants to. Right now she’s really into kickboxing. 

The Legend of Zelda - Describe your muse’s clothing style as detailed as you want! Is there any type of clothes they prefer? What would they never wear?   Hmm what aesthetic would you use to describe her style? She’s definitely very classy, but in an artsy way. A liiiittle bougie, she loves her a designer shoe and a bag. The main thing is she is ALWAYS dressed, no matter the situation. She’s a nails and lashes girl for sure. Over quarantine my best friend and I came up with ABS - Always Be Styling. So everyday, even though it was quarantine and we weren’t going anywhere, we had to put a cute outfit on and be dressed if we were gonna step outside at ALL even if it was just to go on a walk or hit the corner store. Aja and her girls 100% would’ve done something like that.

Bloodborne - What type of movies does your muse prefer? If your muse exists in a universe where movies don’t exist, what type of movies do you think your muse would enjoy? Is there any type of movies they would never watch? Aja loves THRILLERS. Not horror, but like suspense-y: Jordan Peele movies, Parasite, that kinda stuff. 

Fallout - How well would your OC fair in the apocalypse? Lol tbh this one shoulda be in the original meme. 

Aja: She’d do pretty good! She’s brave, ready to take on a challenge, and is very determined. BUT she can be a little reckless so that might mess her up Cooper: lmao he’s dead Zeke: He’s a great leader and very level headed, so I think he’d do good keeping the group together.  Ryan: Ok I’m gonna be controversial - why are people so dead set on SURVIVING the apocalypse? If zombies were taking over the world I would just let them turn or kill me bc why tf would I wanna live through that. Nah, just take me out 💀 So that’s my answer for Ryan lmao, he'd opt out Atticus: He’s already dead so I guess he’s fine?? X’i: Not his problem - he’s in space ✌️  Bastien: He’s iffy. He’s strong, doesn’t give up easily, he’s crafty and a little cunning, he’d be a good asset. But he would definitely hide his bite from the group. He’s also really headstrong so it might be hard to get him to go along with the group if he disagrees with the plan.  Lorenzo: He’s disappeared himself to some remote island the second shit starts hitting the fan.  Darion: I actually think Darion would fair the best. He’s strong, very protective of his friends, would NEVER let himself look weak so no way he’s giving up or letting the group down. He has a little bit of a temper but I think he’d be able to channel it into aggressively fighting for his group. He might even be able to keep Cooper alive for a few days lmao 

Ask me more video game themed questions!