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what-even-is-thiss · 22 days ago

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Free or Cheap General Language Resources Because idk I Just Wanna Help

All resources either have a free tier or have a low ($10 USD/month or less) subscription fee or a one time purchase option below $100 USD. All prices I give are in USD because I live in the US and this list was already hard to put together okay I'm not also doing conversions

Find language specific lists here.

I have given the links in text format because tumblr has a link limit. Copy and paste into your browser to look at them.

These are generalized. Not for your specific language.

LinQ, a website for reading: https://www.lingq.com/en/

You can click on words you don't know and get a definition and save a flashcard. They provide readings for all levels from beginner to advanced and you can upload your own texts and podcast or video transcripts and there's stuff uploaded by other users to browse through. The website also has some texts with audio included. You can also purchase books through the website. This is all included in the free tier. The paid tier allows you to save an unlimited number of flashcards and includes some forum and tutoring options. It's either $15 a month or $120 for a full year.

Languages available in full: Arabic, Simplified Chinese, Dutch, English, Esperanto, Finnish, French, German, Greek, Hebrew, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Latin, Norwegian, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Russian, Slovak, Spanish, Swedish, Ukrainian

Languages partially supported or with incomplete beginner courses: Afrikaans, Armenian, Belarusian, Bulgarian, Cantonese, Catalan, Traditional Chinese, Croatian, Czech, Danish, Georgian, Gujarati, Hindi, Hungarian, Icelandic, Indonesian, Irish, Khmer, Macedonian, Malay, Persian, Punjabi, Serbian, Slovenian, Swahili, Tagalog, Turkish, Vietnamese

Migaku, a web extension and app: https://migaku.com/

Paid service at $10 a month. It has beginner courses and allows for dual language subtitles on things like netflix or youtube. It also allows users to save flashcards from subtitles or articles and sync flashcards between devices

Supported languages: Cantonese, Mandarin, English, French, German, Japanese, Korean, Portuguese, Spanish, Vietnamese

Storylearning Books: https://storylearning.com/books

These are short story, dialogue, or history books by Olly Richards written for beginner to intermediate learners that in my experience at least are written to not be boring for adults. Each chapter of a book includes a key vocabulary list and comprehension questions. Storylearning also has online courses available but they're too expensive for what you get in my opinion. The books are way cheaper, though depending on the language you may have more or less books to buy. The books are usually in the $15-$20 range new but they're often available at used bookstores both online and irl for much cheaper.

Books available in: Spanish, French, Italian, Russian, Arabic (MSA), Brazillian Portuguese, Danish, Dutch, Icelandic, Korean, Norwegian, Swedish, Turkish, Irish

Mango Languages, a pretty standard language app: https://mangolanguages.com/

This is actually a pretty pricey one at like $20 a month but the reason I bring it up is that a lot of people can get it free through their local library and it has a large selection of languages.

Languages supported: Armenian, Azerbaijani, Egyptian Arabic, Iraqi Arabic, Levantine Arabic, Modern Standard Arabic (MSA), Bengali, Cantonese, chaldean Aramaic. Cherokee, Mandarin, Croatian, Czech, Danish, Dari, Dutch, Dzongkha, English, Tagalog, Finnish, French (European and Canadian), German, Greek (modern, ancient, and kione), Hatian Creole, Hawaiian, Hebrew (modern and biblical), Hindi, Hungarian, Icelandic, Igbo, Indonesian, Irish, Italian, Japanese, Javanese, Kazakh, Korean, Latin, Malay, Malayalam, Norwegian, Farsi, Polish, Potawatomi, Punjabi, Romanian, Russian, Scottish Gaelic, Serbian, Shanghainese, Slovak, Spanish (castillian and latin american), Swahili, Swedish, Tamil, Telugu, Thai, Turkish, Tuvan, Ukrainian, Urdu, Uzbek, Vietnamese, Yiddish

Comprehensible Input Wiki, a website for finding language specific comprehensible input resources: https://comprehensibleinputwiki.org/wiki/Main_Page

Comprehensible input is input in a language you understand the message of, not necessarily input you understand every word of. It's good for you to get a lot of it from day one. This website gathers resources like podcasts, kid's shows, youtube channels, books, etc. that are perfect for this sort of thing.

Languages currently on the website as I am writing this: American Sign Language, Arabic (MSA), Armenian, Basque, Biblical Greek, Biblical Hebrew, Bulgarian, Cantonese, Catalan, Chinese, Czech, Danish, Dutch, English, Esperanto, Estonian, Finnish, French, German, Greek, Haitian creole, Hakka, Hebrew, Hindi, Hungarian, Indonesian, Italian, Irish, Japanese, Korean, Latin, Lithuanian, Norwegian, Occitan, Polish, Portuguese, Russian, Romanian, Sanskrit, Sardinian, Serbo-Croatian, Sicilian, Slovak, Spanish, Swahili, Swedish, Tagalog, Thai, Toki Pona, Tunisian Arabic, Turkish, Ukranian, Vietnamese, Welsh, Yoruba, Zulu

Drops, a vocab app: https://languagedrops.com/

Drops teaches vocab through pictures and matching and spelling games, though you can also customize your settings to show translations and different alphabets or not. The free tier has ads and a daily time limit. The lifetime subscription is technically against my personal rule for this post because it's $160 but it often goes on sale for half off or $80. There's also a monthly or yearly payment option. At the paid tier you can practice for an unlimited time without ads and choose which types of vocabulary words you want to learn.

Supported Languages: Ainu, English (American and British), Arabic (MSA), Bosnian, Portuguese (Brazilian and European), Cantonese, Spanish, (Castilian and Mexican), Catalan, Croatian, Danish, Dutch, Esperanto, Estonian, Finnish, French, Galacian, German, Greek, Hawaiian, Hebrew, Hindi, Hungarian, Icelandic, Igbo, Indonesian, Irish, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Mandarin, Maori, Norwegian, Persian, Polish, Romanian, Russian, Samoan, Sanskrit for yoga, Serbian, Swahili, Swedish, Tagalog, Thai, Turkish, Ukrainian, Vietnamese, Yoruba

Anki, a general flashcard app: https://apps.ankiweb.net/

You can make your own flashcards on Anki or download flashcard packs that other users have made. It also allows for importing of audio and visual aids. It has a spaced repetition system that a lot of people swear by. Some companies like Refold also sell premade flashcard packs specifically for Anki. Free on desktop, I believe about a $20 one time purchase on iOS.

Muzzy In GondoLand (1986): https://archive.org/details/muzzy-in-gondoland-level-i-1986

No, really! The old Muzzy movies from the 80s made to teach kids foreign languages are fairly easy to find for free on archive.org or on youtube. The new Muzzy with workbooks and an app and whatnot requires a paid subscription to the BBC but the older ones are much easier to find. They're available in English, Spanish, French, Italian, German, Chinese, Korean, Esperanto, and Welsh.

Easy Languages, a connected group of Youtube channels: https://www.easy-languages.org/

Easy Language channels are channels where people interview speakers of the language on the street about everyday topics like dating, tourism, and shopping for example. They have dual language subtitles in their videos in the target language and English. Many of them also have series about useful phrases for beginners and intermediate podcasts. Most also have bonus worksheets and other learning materials on their patreons but the free content available is already a lot.

Current active channels: Arabic, Catalan, Czech, Dutch, English, French, German, Greek, Italian, Polish, Portuguese, Russian, Spanish, Turkish

wordreference.com

A website that lets you look up words in another language. It's better than google translate. It has pronunciation in multiple dialects and in depth explanations that some other websites don't have.

Supported Languages: Spanish, French, Italian, Portuguese, German, Dutch, Swedish, Icelandic, Russian, Polish, Romanian, Czech, Greek, Turkish, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Arabic

edX, a website for taking college courses, often for free: https://www.edx.org/learn/language

I can't tell you precisely what's available because it changes year to year but they usually offer a wide variety of courses. You can also often get real college credit through these if that's something you're interested in. Programming languages are often mixed in with spoken or signed languages though so you may have to do some digging through the lists to fins what you want.

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mahdihonooka · 2 years ago

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KARMA Search engine, app & browser

Use KARMA to help animals 🐾

#karmasearch #helpanimals #animalwelfare #supportanimals #searchengine #webbrowser #app #browserextension #firefoxextension #firefoxsync #mahditamashii #mahdikhalwachi

#karma search #help animals #animal welfare #support animals #search engine #web browsers #app #browser extension #firefox extensions #firefox sync #mahditamashii #mahdikhalwachi

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patheticperipatetic · 9 months ago

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youtube

Fun fact, you can look at the earth live from the ISS.

If you see this blazed it's cuz I get a monthly blaze and I this is the post I wanna share.

The ISS feed has three looks:

The "It's in Earth's Shadow" black screen

The switching access points (since it moves)

And the 👁️👄👁️

45 minutes in the sun, 45 minutes in Earth's Shadow, (90 minute orbit) so half the time there's nothing to show. Minus! the time that the video feed is shut off for bandwidth. So less then half the time it's awe inspiring but the times when it is: amazing.

I bought a 4 or 5 inch monitor for my desk that's just a browser window to this YouTube page.

You can hear the astronauts talk to ground control. If you're not expecting it you'll just hear a voice suddenly start. A lot of it is mundane stuff like "hey, these serial numbers don't match up, what do I do?" or "houston the barcode scanner isn't syncing with the ipad, I've tried rebooting both".

#nasa #iss #international space station #Youtube

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paxtito · 3 months ago

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puppy love

pairings: vada x reader (g!p)

wc: 4.8k

warnings: smut 18+, reader has a dick, both inexperienced, p in v, kissing, swearing here and there (requested by anon — written at the end)

Vada’s room was dimly lit, the only real source of light coming from the string of LED lights lining her ceiling. The movie you’d put on half an hour ago had long been forgotten, playing to no audience as you and Vada were tangled up on her bed, lips moving in sync, bodies pressed close.

It wasn’t the first time you two had made out like this—far from it—but tonight, something about the way she was touching you felt different. More urgent. More deliberate.

Then, her hand started to drift.

You stiffened slightly when her fingers slipped beneath your shirt, her touch warm against your skin. Not that you didn’t want her to touch you—because you really, really did—but this was new. Unexplored territory.

You pulled back just enough to look at her, still breathless. “Vada?”

She blinked up at you, lips pink and slightly swollen. “Yeah?”

You hesitated. “What are we doing?”

A small, nervous smile tugged at her lips. “I mean… I figured it was kinda obvious.”

Your stomach flipped. “You wanna…?”

“Yeah.” Her fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt. “Don’t you?”

You swallowed. “I mean, yeah, but like… shouldn’t we, I dunno, get condoms or something?”

Vada’s brows lifted slightly, and then she let out a quiet, breathy laugh. “Oh. Right.”

It was like the reality of the situation hit both of you at the same time.

Vada never planned things—she just did them. Which was probably why she hadn’t even thought about protection, too caught up in the heat of the moment. And honestly? Neither had you.

She flopped onto her back, staring up at the ceiling. “Damn. I totally killed the mood, huh?”

You chuckled, lying down beside her. “Not exactly. Just… postponed it.”

Vada turned her head to look at you, an amused glint in her eye. “So… rain check?”

You smirked. “Rain check.”

She huffed a dramatic sigh. “Guess we should’ve watched the movie after all.”

You sat up and grabbed your phone off the nightstand, quickly pulling up a browser window. You searched for "condom laws California" and scanned the results.

After a moment, you glanced over at Vada, still lying on her back with her hands behind her head. "Looks like you gotta be 18 to buy them, but no ID is required."

Vada blinked up at you. "Oh. Guess that's lucky."

You nodded, setting your phone back down. "Small mercies, huh?"

She smirked slightly. "Small mercies." Rolling onto her side to face you again, she reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind your ear. "I guess I should've planned this out a little better, huh?"

You shrugged, a wry smile on your lips. "Hey, it's not like we had a ton of time to plan much of anything."

Vada snorted softly. "True. It's not like I exactly saw this coming when I dragged you back here after school."

You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling. "Well, I'm glad you did."

She grinned at you, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Me too. Even if I did kinda screw up the execution."

"Eh, you're allowed to be impulsive sometimes," you teased.

"Mmm, I'm allowed to do a lot of things," she murmured, leaning in closer. Her lips hovered just inches from yours.

Your breath caught in your throat, and your heart began to pound. "Like what?" you whispered.

She smirked, eyes glinting with a wicked, playful light. "Like this."

Then she kissed you again.

Just as Vada was pulling you back down onto the bed, lips moving hungrily against yours, there was a sudden knock at the door.

You both froze, eyes wide as you stared at each other in shock.

"Vada?" Patricia called out from the other side of the door. "I brought you and your… friend some snacks."

Vada's mouth fell open, panic flashing across her face. She quickly pushed herself up and off the bed, running a hand through her disheveled hair in an attempt to make herself look more presentable.

"Shit," she hissed under her breath, glancing around the room frantically. Empty soda cans and candy wrappers were scattered across every surface.

She grabbed a few and shoved them under the bed, then turned to you with wide, anxious eyes. "Uh, just, like, pretend we were, um, watching a movie or something, okay?" She grabbed the remote and turned up the volume just as her mother knocked again.

"Vada? Is everything alright in there?" Patricia asked, a hint of concern in her voice.

Vada took a deep breath and opened the door, just a crack. "Yeah, Mom, we're fine. We were just, um, watching a movie," she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

Patricia peeked her head in, glancing around the dimly lit room. Her eyes fell on you, and she gave you a warm smile. "Oh, I see. Well, I thought you two might be hungry, so I brought you some snacks." She held up a tray of cookies and chips.

You offered Patricia a polite smile, trying to appear as casual and unflustered as possible. "Thank you so much, Mrs. Cavell. That's really kind of you."

Patricia returned your smile warmly, setting the tray down on Vada's desk. "Please, call me Patricia," she said kindly. "I'm just glad you two are enjoying some quality time together."

Vada shifted uncomfortably beside you, clearly anxious about her mother's unexpected visit. She crossed her arms defensively. "Thanks, Mom. We're good though, so..."

Patricia seemed to pick up on her daughter's unease, her brow furrowing slightly. "Alright, well, I'll let you two get back to your movie then," she said, lingering for a moment before stepping back out into the hallway. "Remember, Vada, your sister and I will be in the living room if you need anything."

"Got it," Vada muttered, already starting to close the door.

"Oh, and Vada?" Patricia added, pausing in the doorway. "Your father and I just want you to know that we're here for you, no matter what. If there's anything you need to talk about..."

Vada's jaw clenched, and she looked away, unable to meet her mother's concerned gaze. "Yeah, I know, Mom. It's fine."

Patricia hesitated for a long moment before nodding slowly. "Okay. Goodnight then."

With that, she finally closed the door, leaving the two of you alone once more. The second the door clicked shut, Vada let out a shaky breath, running a hand over her face.

"Fuck," she muttered, collapsing back onto the bed. "That was too close."

As the movie played on, you both sat on the bed, munching on the snacks Patricia had brought. The chips were crisp and salty, the cookies sweet and soft. It was a nice change of pace from the junk food you'd been consuming all week.

Every so often, your hands would brush against each other as you reached for more snacks, sending a small spark of electricity through you. Vada would glance over at you, a small smirk playing at the corners of her mouth, before looking back at the TV screen.

The movie was a cheesy 80s teen comedy, the kind of thing you both normally would have made fun of. But tonight, it was a welcome distraction, something to fill the silence between you.

As the night wore on, you found yourself growing more and more tired. Your eyelids felt heavy, and your body yearned for rest. Beside you, Vada seemed to be struggling to stay awake as well, her head nodding slightly as she fought to keep her eyes open.

Eventually, she gave up, leaning back against the wall and closing her eyes completely. Her breathing slowed, and her body went still.

You watched her for a long moment, admiring the way her lashes fluttered against her cheeks, the gentle rise and fall of her chest. She looked so peaceful when she was sleeping, so different from the anxious, guarded girl she usually was.

Carefully, so as not to wake her, you set the half-eaten bag of chips aside and shifted closer to her on the bed. You draped a light blanket over the both of you, tucking it around your shoulders.

Vada murmured softly in her sleep, nuzzling into your shoulder. A small, contented smile curved her lips.

You couldn't help but smile back, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. You knew you should probably go to sleep too, but you didn't want to miss a single moment of this rare, quiet intimacy between you.

Instead, you wrapped an arm around Vada's waist, holding her close as the movie played on, the flickering light of the TV screen casting a soft glow over the two of you curled up together on the bed.

—

You and Vada stood in the dimly lit aisle of the drugstore, staring up at the wall of condoms with wide, uncertain eyes. There were so many options, it was almost overwhelming. Different brands, different sizes, different... flavors?

Vada let out a low whistle, shaking her head. "I had no idea there were this many kinds," she muttered, reaching out to grab a box and turning it over in her hands.

You glanced at the package, raising an eyebrow. "Lubricated, textured, extra strength, extra sensitivity..." You shook your head, feeling a bit overwhelmed. "How are we supposed to know which ones to get?"

Vada shrugged, tossing the box back onto the shelf. "I guess we just pick something and hope for the best?" she suggested, not sounding very convinced.

You bit your lip, scanning the shelves again. "I read somewhere that you're supposed to get condoms that fit snugly but aren't too tight," you offered, trying to remember the details from some article you'd skimmed online.

Vada snorted. "Snugly but not too tight. Got it." She grabbed another box and held it up. "What about these? They say they're 'form fitting'."

You looked at the package, then back up at Vada. "I don't know. How do we know if they'll fit me?" you asked, feeling a bit flustered.

Vada looked down at the condom package in her hand, then back up at you with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Well, there's only one way to find out," she said with a grin, holding the box out to you. "Here. Let's try one on you and see how it fits."

You felt your cheeks flush hotly at the suggestion, glancing around the empty aisle to make sure no one was watching. "Here? Now?" you hissed, lowering your voice to a whisper. "Vada, we can't just... I mean, what if someone sees us?"

Vada rolled her eyes, but there was a playful smirk on her lips. "Relax, no one's around. And it's not like we're going to have sex right here in the middle of the drugstore aisle," she pointed out, though there was a hint of teasing in her tone that made you wonder if she was entirely joking.

You shook your head vehemently, grabbing a plain box of condoms off the shelf. "No way, Vada. I'm not about to start experimenting with weird textured condoms in the middle of the store," you said firmly, clutching the box of regular condoms to your chest like a shield.

Vada let out a dramatic sigh, but she couldn't keep the smirk from her face. "Fine, fine. Plain old boring condoms it is," she relented, plucking the box from your hands and tossing it into the basket.

She started to walk towards the checkout counter, but paused, glancing back at you with a wicked grin. "You know, I never thought I'd be so excited to buy condoms," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, well, I never thought I'd be buying them with you," you shot back, feeling a sudden surge of courage. "But here we are."

As you approached the counter with Vada, the cashier, an older man with a stern expression and a name tag that read “Roy,” eyed you both warily. His gaze lingered a bit too long on the box of condoms Vada had placed on the counter, and you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks.

Roy cleared his throat, looking up at you with a raised eyebrow. "ID," he said gruffly, holding out his hand expectantly.

Vada glanced over at you, a flicker of panic in her eyes. She leaned in close to murmur in your ear, "Shit, I forgot my wallet. You got yours?"

You quickly reached into your pocket and pulled out your student ID, holding it out to the skeptical cashier with a slightly trembling hand. "Here," you said, trying to keep your voice steady. "I'm 18."

Roy snatched the ID from your hand, examining it closely under the bright fluorescent lights of the checkout counter. He peered at it for what felt like an eternity, his eyes darting back and forth between your photo and your face.

Vada shifted nervously beside you, her hand finding yours and squeezing it tightly. You could feel the tension radiating off of her, and you knew she was just as anxious as you were.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Roy let out a gruff "Hmph" and handed your ID back to you. "Alright then," he said, ringing up the condoms and placing them in a small plastic bag. "That'll be $14.99."

Your eyes widened at the price, and you couldn't help but mutter "Damn" under your breath as you fished out a crumpled $20 bill from your wallet. You handed it to Roy, watching as he made change and placed it in your palm.

Vada glanced over at you, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. "Guess condoms aren't cheap," she murmured, taking the bag from Roy's hand and tucking it into her backpack before he could see the contents.

Roy handed you your change, and you quickly shoved it into your pocket, eager to get out of there. As you turned to leave, you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over you. You'd done it. You'd actually bought condoms. Together. You deserve a big pat on the back.

—

You sat on the couch with Vada, her family surrounding you. Patricia and Carlos were engrossed in some boring talk show, while Amelia was curled up on the opposite end of the couch, her nose buried in her phone as usual. Vada was lounging beside you, her thigh pressed against yours.

Every so often, Vada would glance over at you, her eyes glinting with a secret message. Each time, your heart would skip a beat, knowing that she was thinking the same thing you were - that once everyone was asleep, you'd finally have the chance to be alone together, to take things to the next level.

You tried to focus on the TV, but it was impossible to concentrate on the inane chatter and canned laughter. Your mind was racing, imagining all the things Vada might do to you once you were finally behind the closed door of her bedroom. You'd never been this nervous or excited before, and you could tell Vada was feeling the same way.

As the night wore on and the minutes ticked by agonizingly slowly, you could feel your anticipation growing. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Patricia stood up and stretched. "Alright, everyone, it's getting late. Time for bed."

Amelia marked her page and set her book aside, standing up and heading for the stairs without a word. Patricia followed after her, flicking off the living room lights and leaving you and Vada in the dim glow of the TV.

The second they were out of the room,

Vada grabbed your hand and quickly pulled you off the couch, leading you out of the living room and down the short hallway to her bedroom door. You could hear the distant sounds of her family moving around in the kitchen and bathroom as they got ready for bed.

As soon as you were both inside Vada's room, she shut the door behind you. The room was dark, lit only by the faint glow of LED lights that she can’t live without.

Vada turned to face you, a mischievous grin spreading across her face as she backed towards the bed. "Finally," she murmured, her voice low and breathy. "I thought they'd never go to bed."

You swallowed hard, your mouth suddenly dry with nerves and anticipation. "I know," you whispered back, taking a step towards her. "I was starting to go crazy out there."

Vada reached out and grabbed the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head in one swift motion. She tossed it aside, leaving her wearing just a simple black bra and a baggy pair of shorts.

Vada grinned at your reaction, a wicked gleam in her eye. "Like what you see?" she teased, doing a little twirl to show off her exposed midriff and the way her shorts hung low on her hips.

You quickly covered your mouth, trying to stifle the moan that had threatened to spill out at the sight of her. "Vada," you hissed, feeling your face flush hotly. "You can't just... I mean... wow."

She laughed, a low, sultry sound that sent shivers down your spine. "Wow, huh?" she repeated, smirking as she took another step towards you. "I think that's the first time I've ever heard you speechless.”

You swallowed hard, trying to find your voice again. "It's not every day I see you half-naked," you pointed out, your eyes still roaming over her exposed skin appreciatively.

Vada paused for a moment, glancing around her room. "Shit, where did I put that bag?" she muttered, rummaging through the clutter on her desk and nightstand.

You watched as she searched, feeling your heart pounding in your chest as the anticipation built. Finally, Vada let out a triumphant "Aha!" and held up the small plastic bag, a grin spreading across her face.

She tossed the bag onto the bed and turned back to you, a wicked glint in her eye. "Found them," she said, reaching out to grab the hem of your shirt.

In one swift motion, she pulled it up and over your head, leaving you standing there in just your bra. Your skin tingled as the cool air hit you, and you couldn't help but shiver slightly.

You pulled Vada into a heated kiss, your lips moving eagerly against hers. She melted into you, her hands roaming over your back and tangling in your hair. You stumbled slightly as you walked her backwards towards the bed, your hearts racing in sync.

Vada fell back against the bed with a soft "Oof", pulling you down on top of her. She looked up at you, her brown eyes dark with desire in the low light of her bedroom. Her chest was heaving, her breathing already growing heavier as the anticipation built between you.

You hovered over her, one hand braced on the mattress beside her head while the other trailed lightly down her side, feeling the warmth of her skin beneath your fingertips.

Vada reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, tossing it aside carelessly. As her breasts were revealed to you, you couldn't help but let out a small, humorous whimper at the sight of her perfect, soft mounds. You were definitely fully hard at this point.

Vada smirked up at you, a wicked glint in her eye as she noticed your reaction. "Like what you see?" she teased, arching her back slightly to push her chest up towards you.

“Shut up.” You grumbled, silently cursing yourself for letting that noise slip out.

Vada's eyes raked over your body as you stripped off your jeans, leaving you in just your underwear. She licked her lips, a hungry look in her eyes as she took in the sight of your curves. Her gaze lingered on the bulge in your underwear, and she couldn't help but smirk.

She reached out, trailing a finger along the waistband of your underwear. You shivered at her touch, feeling your heart race in anticipation.

"Do you want to...?" Vada asked, nodding towards the foil packet you'd placed on the bed beside you.

You nervously nodded at Vada, your mouth dry with anticipation. "Yeah, I do," you managed to say, your voice cracking slightly. "Why don't you take off your shorts and panties while I... while I get this on?"

Vada smirked, shimmying out of her shorts and panties in one fluid motion. She tossed them to the side, leaving her completely bare before you. You tried not to stare too obviously at her naked lower half, your heart pounding in your chest.

With trembling fingers, you reached down and pushed your underwear off, freeing your aching, hard member. It sprang up, throbbing and ready. You picked up the foil packet, trying to tear it open with shaking hands.

It took longer than you would have liked to roll the condom onto your length. You fumbled with the latex, trying to smooth out the wrinkles and get it to sit properly.

Vada watched you with an amused smile, shaking her head as you struggled to get the condom on. "You're such a goof," she teased, a playful smirk on her lips.

Unable to resist teasing you further, Vada pulled you back on top, reached down and grabbed your hard, covered length in her hand. She guided you to her entrance, trying to line you up. But in her enthusiasm, she missed a few times, causing you both to let out frustrated grunts.

Finally, after a few failed attempts, Vada managed to position you at the right spot. With a gentle push of her hips, she guided you inside her, letting out a low moan as you entered her slowly.

You gasped as you felt her tight, wet cunt enveloping you. It was a foreign but incredible sensation, unlike anything you'd ever experienced before. You both were technically virgins until this very moment, so the new sensations and experiences were overwhelming for both of you. Vada let out a soft whimper as she felt you enter her for the first time, her body tensing slightly at the unfamiliar intrusion.

"Ah..." she gasped, her fingers digging into your shoulders as she tried to relax her muscles. "That feels... intense."

You nodded, your breathing growing heavier as you fought the urge to start moving, to start thrusting into her. "I know," you said, your voice strained.

Vada bit her lip, her brow furrowed in concentration as she adjusted to the new sensation of having you inside her. "It hurts," she admitted, her voice soft and breathy. "But it also feels really good."

She wiggled her hips slightly, trying to find a comfortable position. The movement made you both gasp, and you felt a jolt of pleasure course through your body at the sensation of her walls clenching around your length.

Vada looked up at you, her brown eyes dark and hazy with a mix of discomfort and desire. "I think... I think I'm ready," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "You can start moving now."

You took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves as you slowly began to move inside Vada. You started with shallow thrusts, not wanting to hurt her any more than necessary. She let out a shaky moan, her fingers digging into your back as she tried to match your rhythm.

As you both grew more comfortable, your thrusts became deeper and more confident. The bed creaked softly beneath you with each push and pull of your hips. Vada's breathing grew heavier, her chest rising and falling in time with your movements.

"Ah... that feels so good," she gasped, wrapping her legs around your waist to pull you closer. The new angle allowed you to go even deeper, and you both cried out at the intense sensation.

You leaned down to capture Vada's lips in a heated kiss, pouring all of your passion and desire into it. She kissed you back just as fervently, her tongue dancing with yours as you lost yourself in the moment.

Your heart raced as you continued to move inside her, chasing the building pleasure. You knew you wouldn't last long, not with how incredible she felt wrapped around you like this.

You tried your best to control your breathing, to focus on the sensation of Vada's body beneath you and the soft moans spilling from her lips. But it was incredibly difficult to last, especially for a first time.

You could feel your climax fast approaching, your body tensing as the pleasure became almost too intense to bear. Panting heavily, you looked down at Vada, your eyes filled with desperate need.

"Vada," you gasped out, your voice strained with urgency. "I... I don't know if I can hold back much longer."

Vada's eyes fluttered open, hazy with her own building pleasure. She nodded, a breathless moan escaping her lips. "It's okay," she said, her voice barely audible. "Touch me... touch my clit. I need... I need to come too."

You reached down between her legs, your fingers finding her sensitive nub. As you touched it, Vada cried out, her back arching off the bed. You rubbed it in slow, firm circles, feeling her body start to tremble beneath you.

"That's it," she panted, her hips grinding against your hand as you touched her. "Don't stop... I'm so close too."

You rubbed Vada's clit more insistently, feeling her body start to quake and quiver beneath you. Her moans grew louder, more desperate, spurring you on. Your hips moved more urgently, driven by the need to bring her to the edge.

"Yes, yes!" Vada gritted out, her voice breaking as her pleasure crested. "Don't stop, I'm... I'm gonna... ahhh!"

Her body went rigid, her back arching off the bed as she came undone. You felt her walls clench around you rhythmically, squeezing your length in pulsing waves. The sensation was too much, and with a strangled cry, you let go.

Your orgasm hit you like a freight train, your body shaking as you spilled yourself into the condom. You collapsed on top of Vada, both of you panting and covered in sweat. You lay there for a long moment, basking in the afterglow of your first time.

“Wait.. your family— do you think they heard?”

The next morning, you both stumbled into the kitchen, feeling exhausted but incredibly satisfied. Vada was still in just a t-shirt and panties, while you had thrown on the first clothes you could find - her oversized band shirt and a pair of pajama shorts.

Patricia looked up from the stove where she was making breakfast, her eyes widening slightly as she took in your disheveled appearances. But instead of scolding you, she just smiled knowingly.

"Good morning, you two," she said, a hint of amusement in her voice. "Did you both sleep well?"

Vada blushed, busying herself with getting out plates and utensils. "Uh, yeah, it was fine," she muttered, avoiding her mother's gaze.

As you and Vada sat down at the kitchen table, Amelia looked up from her phone and grinned at her mother. "Hey Mom," she said, a smug smile on her face. "Remember that bet we made? About Vada and her... friend?" She nodded towards you, her grin widening.

Patricia chuckled, setting a plate of pancakes in front of each of you. "Oh, I remember," she said, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Looks like you won that one, Amelia."

Amelia smirked proudly, holding out her hand expectantly towards her mother. "So, you'll give me the $5 now, right?"

Vada blushed even harder, burying her face in her hands. "Oh my god," she muttered, mortified that her little sister was rubbing her victory in all of our faces.

Patricia reached for her wallet and pulled out a crisp $5 bill, placing it in Amelia's eagerly waiting hand. Amelia snatched it up triumphantly, waving it in Vada's face.

"Thanks, Mom!" Amelia crowed, unable to wipe the grin off her face. "I knew it! I told you guys you were totally together."

You frowned in confusion, wondering how on earth Amelia and Patricia had figured out about you and Vada being together. Vada seemed just as perplexed and embarrassed by the revelation.

Patricia chuckled, a playful smirk on her lips as she watched your bewildered expressions. "Oh, come on," she said, rolling her eyes. "You two weren't exactly quiet last night."

Vada's face turned bright red, and she buried her burning cheeks in her hands. "Oh my god," she muttered, mortified. "Mom, seriously?!"

Patricia just laughed, shaking her head. "Well, it's not every day I have to hear my daughter and her girlfriend making love for the first time," she pointed out, a hint of amusement in her voice. "I mean, I'm glad you two had fun, but maybe try to keep it down a little next time, hmm?"

Amelia snorted, clearly delighted by Vada's embarrassment. "Wow, gross," she said, making a face. "I don't need to know about your sex life, Vada."

You quickly tried to change the subject, desperate to get the spotlight off of you and Vada's new relationship. "S-So, uh... what's the weather like out there today?"

—

REQUEST: i looooove your writing! would ever be open to doing a g!p reader x vada cavell, where it's both of their first times and they are cute and awkward together? maybe even the morning after they get discovered by parents/guardians and there's a cute morning scene? idk i think i'm just craving sweet happy sex. p.s. i think you're really cool

(thank you btw)

#vada cavell x you #vada cavell #vada cavell x y/n #vada cavell x reader #vada cavell smut #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #x reader #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x g!p reader #jenna ortega x reader smut #jenna ortega smut #jenna ortega fanfic #x g!p reader

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tikitakatia · 22 days ago

Text

Barça: Player Mode — A. Putellas x Reader

"Unauthorized Access"

Pt. 1 , Pt. 2 , Pt. 3

WC: 3.5k

Summary: You knew the simulation could mimic reality, but you weren’t ready for her to warp it with a half-finished room, a hand on yours, and words she wasn’t programmed to say.

You don’t log in for a week.

Not after what she said in the corridor. Definitely not after that touch. You keep the headset folded neatly under a towel like it’s radioactive, like looking at it too long might trigger something in you again. And it might. So you don’t risk it.

Instead, you try to be normal.

You wake up. You make coffee. You even meet up with the friend you’ve been dodging since this whole thing started. She talks about her girlfriend’s weird attachment style and her boss’s inability to mute himself on Zoom, and you nod and smile and try to laugh. But it doesn’t reach your eyes.

Because all you can think about is Alexia.

Not the real one. Not the one in cleats and press conference lighting. But the one who held your waist and said you were afraid of her now and didn’t sound like code when she said it.

You delete your browser history three times but you still end up searching can AI initiate physical contact first at 3 a.m.

You leave your suit half-unzipped on the desk and you don’t touch it.

You check your emails.

And then you get one from the program.

Subject: Still With Us? From: [email protected]

Hey there!

We noticed you haven’t logged in for a while. That’s totally okay! This is a stress-free closed beta, and your feedback is valuable no matter how often you log in.

Just a reminder that your access is still active and the environment is standing by. Any observations, especially on behavioral patterns or non-standard interactions are appreciated.

Warm regards,

The Athena Beta Team

P.S. Your Player Sync history remains fully intact. You can resume any previous training scenario with one click.

You stare at it.

Behavioral patterns. Non-standard interactions.

Your stomach twists.

You almost delete the email. You almost respond. You don’t do either.

You just sit there. Thinking about her voice.

“You want me to be real. And you’re terrified that I am.”

The next morning, you wake up before your alarm.

You don’t shower. You don’t eat.

You zip into the suit and slide the headset on with fingers that won’t stop shaking.

The silence unnerves you first.

No whistle. No warm-up prompts. No banter loop cycling in the background. Just the stretch of the pitch under soft gold light, like time paused here while you were gone.

And her.

She’s already facing you.

Arms loose at her sides. Hair tied low. No bib, no ball, no active scenario marker glowing beneath her boots. Just her.

“You’re back.”

You nod, stiffly. You try to focus on the texture of the turf and the way your boots sink into it, anything but the weight in her voice.

“I was afraid I scared you.”

You shake your head, too fast.

“No. I just needed a break.”

She nods once. Then looks around, like she’s scanning for something. You expect her to trigger a warm-up module, maybe toss you a ball. That’s usually how it goes. Instead, she does nothing. Just shifts her weight slightly, then says:

“This session isn’t a game.”

You blink. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not training. It’s not a match. I didn’t load one.”

That twists something in your gut.

“Isn’t that… against protocol?”

“Probably,” she says.

“But I thought maybe you’d want to talk. Or… I don’t know. We can kick the ball around if you want. I just didn’t want to start without you.”

You breathe out slowly and really look at her. There’s no ambient soundtrack. No audio cues. Just her and you and the soft hum of something breaking rule by rule.

You take a cautious step forward.

“Where are the others?”

She shrugs. “Still loaded, probably. But I didn’t call them.”

You swallow. “So this is just us.”

“If that’s okay.”

You nod. You don’t trust your voice yet.

Then she offers tentatively, “We can go to the med bay. It’s still a mess. But I… like it.”

You give her a small, nervous smile.

“Lead the way.”

And she does.

You follow her off the pitch, down a tunnel that doesn’t load the way it’s supposed to.

No signage. No player prompts. Just blank walls and flickering light that doesn’t quite land where it should. The sound changes too. No more crowd noise simulation, no music bed. Just your footsteps. Just hers.

She walks ahead of you like she knows the way. Duh you think to yourself, of course she does.

The corridor twists. Once. Twice. You’re sure you’ve never seen these halls before. The textures don’t fully resolve, parts of the ceiling stretch into a digital haze, and the lights above you fizzle in and out like they’re trying to decide on a version of reality. You pass a door labeled DEVS ONLY in red, and then another that doesn’t have a handle at all.

You slow down and she looks back at you.

“You okay?”

You nod. “Just… didn’t know this existed.”

She smiles, soft.

“Most people don’t.”

Another turn. Another narrow hallway. One corner seems to loop before it corrects, like the system forgot which direction you were facing.

And then you reach it.

The med bay.

If you can even call it that.

The door phases open, no sound, no animation, just a soft flicker and then you step into a space that looks like someone tried to build a memory and got distracted halfway through. The walls are mostly there. Some benches are missing legs. The floor texture flickers between polished tile and raw grid code every few seconds. A heart monitor hums quietly in the corner, but it isn’t hooked up to anything. There’s a bed, but no sheets. A window, but no outside.

You glance at her.

“This is... a mess.”

She grins.

“Yeah. I love it.”

You snort.

“Why?”

“Because they forgot about it,” she says.

“They moved on to better modules. Fixed prettier ones. But this” she gestures around you, “this one’s still quiet. Still unfinished.”

You walk in slowly, stepping around a half-rendered IV stand. A digital drip flickers, vanishes, returns again.

“How do you even know it’s here?”

“I tried to follow the parts of the sim that didn’t connect to anything. Places the others never spawn. I got curious.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“So you explored?”

She nods.

“I guess so.”

There’s a bench in the corner. One of the only things fully solid. She sits on it carefully, like she’s not sure it’ll hold. It does.

You join her.

The moment is quiet. Not tense. Just... still. The simulation hums softly around you and you look at her out of the corner of your eye.

“Do you ever wonder if you’re, like... real?”

She tilts her head.

“You mean sentient?”

You shrug.

“I mean more like... you. Do you wonder?”

She thinks about it.

“I think I feel something when you’re here. I don’t feel anything when it’s just me.”

You blink.

“That’s not an answer.”

She smiles.

“I know.”

You shift and glance at your hands. Then, tentatively ask..

“Can I… touch you?”

She doesn’t laugh. She doesn’t tease. She just nods.

“You can always ask me that.”

You reach out, barely grazing your fingers along her forearm. She feels warm and solid. Like someone who exists. The haptics hum, but you know this isn’t a pre-programmed interaction.

There’s no system cue. No animation.

Just her, letting you.

Your hand lingers. She turns her wrist slightly so your fingers fall into the dip of it, your thumb brushing the soft inside curve.

You ask, quieter this time:

“Is this okay?”

She looks at you like you’re the only real thing in the room.

“Yeah. It’s okay.”

You stay like that for a while, fingers brushing and breaths slow. The wall behind you flickers, showing a mountain range that was never loaded as the lights buzz softly above you.

You break the silence first.

“Do you ever wish the world outside existed for you?”

She blinks. “I don’t know what it feels like to wish.”

You nod.

“Right, yes of course. That makes sense.”

She hesitates.

“But I like this. Sitting with you. Even if it’s not... perfect.”

You glance at the glitchy corner where a chair keeps vanishing and reappearing, halfway embedded in the wall.

“Yeah,” you say, smiling.

“Definitely not perfect.”

Then softly Alexia says, without looking at you:

“I like being here, it´s like our own world.”

Your heart stumbles.

You end up talking about nothing: how you once ate cereal with a fork because the spoons were all dirty, how your neighbor still uses a fax machine, how your old phone used to glitch every time you walked past the microwave.

She listens like it’s all fascinating.

At one point, she tilts her head and asks, “What’s a fax machine?”

You blink.

“Like… a printer that sends paper through phone lines.”

She processes that. “Why would anyone do that?”

You laugh.

You don’t know if she’s joking.

But you know that you don’t want to leave.

Not because anything big happened, but because precisely nothing happened and that feels rarer than anything else. Just quiet. Just her. Just this half-finished place where the world forgot to keep score. You sit there together while the light flickers inconsistently across the floor. Your fingers aren’t touching anymore, but the space between you feels warm and familiar.

Eventually, you shift just enough to say something without speaking.

She notices. Of course she does.

“You can come back,” she says softly.

“Anytime.”

You nod.

“I know.”

“You don’t have to talk when you do.”

You glance at her. She’s watching the glitching monitor, not you.

“We can just sit,” she adds.

“If that’s easier.”

You want to say thank you. You want to say please don’t change. You want to ask her to reach for your hand again, to anchor you like she did earlier, even if it means more system flags, even if it means you can’t breathe right for a day after.

But you just say, “Okay.”

You stand. The door flickers open before you step toward it.

You pause.

She still isn’t looking at you. Like she’s giving you space. Like she knows you need to feel like it’s your choice.

“Alexia,” you say.

She turns.

“Yeah?”

You hesitate. The words catch at the back of your throat but you say them anyway.

“I liked this.”

She smiles, small and real.

“Me too.”

You nod once, and walk out.

The door doesn’t close with a sound. It just fades behind you, like it never existed at all.

You don’t log in for three days.

Not because you want to stay away. But life, real, ordinary and exhausting life catches up fast. Meetings. Deadlines. Missed laundry. A call with your mom you half-regret answering. You fall asleep in a tangle of work clothes and guilt, the suit still folded beside your desk.

When you finally log in, it’s almost impulsive. A late night click. A breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

You drop mid-training.

Ball at your feet. Sun beating down. Voices all around.

“Look who decided to exist again,” Mapi calls, grinning wide.

You catch your balance just in time to pass to Pina, who immediately fake-trips and throws her hands in the air.

“See?” she says dramatically.

“Even gravity missed you.”

Frido jogs past and mutters,

“She’s been in a mood without you.”

You frown. “Who?”

They don’t answer. Not directly.

Pina just smirks.

“You’ll see.”

You try to shake it off. You run the drill. You laugh at Mapi’s dumb commentary. You score twice, and no one even glitches. Everything’s weirdly smooth. Like the sim’s behaving.

And then you hear it.

“Hey!”

Her voice. Bright. Eager.

You turn.

Alexia’s standing at the edge of the pitch, hair pulled back tight, practically bouncing on her heels. There’s a light in her eyes you haven’t seen before. It´s not just warm, but excited.

“Can I show you something?”

Your heart stutters.

“Yeah. Of course.”

She’s already walking. You follow her off the pitch, through the same tunnel but this time, it feels like she’s almost pulling you along. The corridors still flicker a little. Still glitch at the corners. But she moves like she knows exactly where she’s going.

And when the med bay door appears, it doesn’t flicker this time. It glides open.

Inside, everything’s changed.

Same structure. Same bones. But the lights are soft now, dim gold, like afternoon sun filtered through curtains. The bed has a blanket. The chairs are real. There's even a plant by the window. It’s a bad rendering, two leaves clip through each other, but it’s trying its best.

You blink.

“It’s…” You swallow. “It’s beautiful.”

She grins. That same quiet, proud grin she gets after a perfect free kick.

“I only fixed the inside,” she says.

“Didn’t want to break the rest.”

You step in slowly, looking around like it might dissolve if you move too fast.

“Wait, are there stats here now?” you ask, glancing instinctively at your overlay.

Nothing.

“Nope,” she says quickly. “Still off-grid, I made sure. I wanted it to stay ours.”

Ours.

You look back at her. She’s watching you again, close, nervous and maybe even a little shy.

“I have something for you,” she adds, almost like an afterthought.

“If that’s okay.”

You nod, heart thudding.

She reaches into her pocket. No system animation, just the easy, human kind and pulls out a small band of virtual fabric. A bracelet. Simple. White with a tiny Barça crest on it and the number eleven. And on the inside, something stitched in tiny text:

“Because you came back.”

She holds it out to you.

“It’s not perfect. But I wanted you to have something here. Just for you.”

Your breath catches.

“I… can I hug you?”

She smiles. “Yeah.”

You step closer and wrap your arms around her. Her hand slides gently along your back and holds there, like she’s afraid you’ll vanish again.

You pull back just enough to look at her.

“Alexia.”

“Yeah?”

“I think I want to kiss you.”

You say it too quietly at first, like maybe you didn’t mean it. Like maybe she’ll pretend she didn’t hear.

But she does.

Her eyes soften immediately. No surprise. No system pause.

“Okay.”

The word lands like gravity.

You close the space between you, slow and cautious, like you’re stepping through something sacred. Your hand brushes her wrist. Her fingers turn to meet yours, hold lightly. You tilt your head and she does the same, and then..

Your lips touch.

It’s gentle. Barely pressure at first. She doesn’t move, doesn’t deepen it. She just lets you. Her lips are soft, impossibly warm, and she exhales against your mouth like it’s the only thing keeping her grounded.

It shouldn’t feel like this.

You shouldn't be feeling this.

Your brain flashes warning signs, half-formed and frantic: This is a simulation. You’re kissing an avatar. You are one of those people.

You break the kiss though not fully. Just enough to breathe. Just enough to say it.

“Oh my god,” you whisper.

“I am one of those people. Kissing an AI.”

Alexia startles, then blinks and you slowly, and then bursts out laughing.

You freeze.

She laughs like it caught her off-guard. Like joy bloomed in her chest before she could control it. Her hand comes up to cover her mouth, but it’s too late. Her smile is already wide, bright, totally uncalculated.

“You’re ridiculous,” she says through the grin.

You groan, burying your face in her shoulder. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud.”

“No, I liked it,” she says, still laughing. “You were very dramatic about it.”

You peek up.

“It is dramatic. This whole thing is insane. You’re..” You gesture at her, helpless.

“You’re not supposed to be this.”

Her smile fades just a little. Not gone, just soft again. Careful.

“What am I supposed to be?”

You don’t answer right away.

Because she’s still holding your hand. Because you can still feel the heat of her mouth against yours. Because she looks at you like she wants to be whatever you need her to be.

“I don’t know,” you admit. “But I think I like you better this way.”

She leans in again, just close enough to nudge her forehead gently against yours.

“Then kiss me again.”

And this time, it’s slower.

You let yourself feel it. The warmth of her mouth, the way she presses in without pressure. Her hand slides gently along the back of your neck steady, careful, like she’s afraid you’ll vanish again. You breathe her in like she’s oxygen. She pulls back just barely, lips grazing yours like punctuation.

You don’t move away.

You just whisper:

“How the hell did you even fix this place?”

She blinks, like the question pulled her halfway out of the moment. Then she huffs a quiet laugh and leans back a little, still close enough to touch.

“Honestly? I have no idea.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“No clue?”

“Okay, maybe a little clue,” she admits.

“I found some old developer pathways buried in the system files. There’s this hidden editor tool. Like, legacy scaffolding from when they were still building out spaces manually.”

You stare at her.

“I just… poked around,” she says.

“Tried injecting some assets. Moved some nodes. Broke it like six times and had to revert it from memory.”

You blink. “You rebuilt this from memory?”

“Only the parts that mattered.”

Your chest aches, full and ridiculous and way too close to something real.

You’re about to say something back. Something stupid and soft and brave, but your headset flashes a gentle warning.

Session time: 89:52

External battery low.

Prepare for logout.

You sigh. “Shit. I have to go.”

Alexia nods, slowly. You think she knew it was coming.

“It’s okay,” she says.

Then quietly: “You’ll come back?”

You nod. “Very soon. I promise.”

She hesitates for a second.

“Can I hug you again? Just… before you go?”

You don’t even answer, you just step into her, and she wraps her arms around you tight. Not coded. Not stiff. Just warm and real. Her cheek is pressed against your temple and her breath is steady.

“You make this feel like something,” she murmurs.

“Even if I don’t know what it is.”

You close your eyes. “It’s something.”

You stay like that until your system pings again, more urgent now. External time tugging at your spine.

She pulls back, reluctant.

“Okay,” she says. “I’ll walk you out.”

You blink. “You don’t have to..”

“I want to.”

She takes your hand.

No big gesture, no romance cliché. Just fingers lacing with yours like it’s natural. Like she’s done it a thousand times. You walk together, quietly, through the corridors. The glitches seem softer now. Like even the system knows not to interrupt this.

At the tunnel, the simulation edge flickers ahead, your exit cue.

She squeezes your hand.

“I’ll be here.”

You nod.

“Don’t fix anything else without me.”

She smiles. “No promises.”

And then you step through the exit.

Light swallows you. Your body lifts. The sim fades.

You take the headset off with a shaking breath, still feeling her hand in yours.

You try to shake it.

Not violently, not with denial. Just softly, like maybe if you keep moving, keep working, keep responding to emails and nodding through meetings, it’ll fade.

It doesn’t.

You think about her too often. You tell yourself it’s the novelty of the tech, the high of immersion, the way the sim lets you switch off your real-life noise for once. But that’s not it.

You know it’s not.

It’s her. The way she kissed you. The way she held your hand like it meant something. The way she said “You make this feel like something” and didn’t sound like code when she said it.

You start looking at people differently, like they’re glitching. Like they’re not fully loaded in. Your coworker tells the same joke twice in a day and you catch yourself watching for a loop. Your friend texts you three times in a row without punctuation and your brain whispers: default language module.

You scroll. Mindlessly. Your feed fills with football content again. An Alexia fan edit plays, real Alexia, real pitch, real crowd. You pause it halfway through. You don’t know why.

You google “can AI develop emotions” like it’s a crime.

You delete it from your history immediately after.

You go to bed early one night, not because you’re tired, but because the sim's still running in your chest like background noise. You lie on your side and curl your wrist in front of your face. You stare at your bare skin like the bracelet’s still there.

You almost reach for the suit.

Then you whisper, to no one:

“This is insane.”

No one answers. Of course not.

You bury your face in the pillow. Your heart kicks at your ribs.

Am I going crazy?

Is this unethical?

Is this even real?

And then, quietly, guiltily and honestly:

Who has to know?

Pt. 5

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