#btw yeah i'm basically making this one out of spite...

[rhys-ravenfeather]

Okay, what the hey, I'm going to do another one of these.

[froschli96]

As an asexual Good Omens fan

There's something I've noticed in this fandom that makes me really uncomfortable, and that is the way that Crowley and Aziraphale's possible asexuality is constantly being connected to and justified by them being not human.

I just honestly really hate that, because implying that asexuality is something that somehow "logically" follows from characters being nonhuman is ... not great. Like, I hate having to be the one to point this out, but asexuality is, in fact, very much a human attribute.

And unfortunately, most of the time when I come across this take, it doesn't feel like someone seeing themselves in the characters and relating to their experience, but rather an othering, this kind of otherwordly pure non-sexualness, where people put these characters above such trivial things like sexuality.

I am not asexual because I am somehow confounded by this oh so complicated human concept of sexuality, or because I don't ever think or care about sexuality at all (a lot of thinking was unfortunately involved actually before I finally came to a conclusion about my identity) it is just a fact of who I am, as a human being, it’s a part of my human experience.

And let's be honest, attributing asexuality to nonhuman characters is not the hot new take a lot of people seem to think it is — this trope has been around for ages. And it hasn't done a great deal to normalize asexuality. In fact I'd argue it's perpetuated an othering of ace people, but you take what you can get, really. (This is not to say that it is in any way wrong to identify with these kinds of characters, I definitely do, too! It's just sad that the topic of discussion is always about how "human" someone can be considered when they don't feel sexual or romantic attraction)

To be honest, I don't actually see A&C being asexual as canon — as a lot of people seemingly do — just because the author kind of suggested it in a tweet where he basically conflates "asexual" and "sexless" (for the record, this is not a dig at Neil, I just think the implications were kind of unfortunate, even if it might not have been intentional, which makes it all the more frustrating that a lot of fans just ran with it). And yeah, going around calling people aphobic for seeing the Ineffable Husbands as gay rep or any other identity, when they’re oh so obviously canonically ace, is honestly kind of insane.

I get that it might feel nice and tempting to be able to "claim" these characters and this relationship and being able to tell other fans off whose headcanons on their sexuality differ from your own because it is hard to come by any kind of representation when you're ace and there's finally a creator who's not only not contemptuous towards but even supportive of fans reading his characters as queer. And if you feel represented by A&C as it is then all the more power to you. But the thing is, it doesn't matter what kind of justifications there are or what canon might or might not say (bc when has that ever mattered in fandom spaces) or what the creator says, you cannot convert people to your opinion about a character, and you're going to have a bad time if you spend your time in fandom trying to do that.

And really, I am just wondering why we necessarily even need an explanation or justification for them possibly being asexual. Why does it have to be that all angels and demons are asexual by virtue of being nonhuman, and so A&C have to be too? why can't that just be an aspect of them that is completely unrelated to them not being human? Could these characters maybe not simply identify as asexual, not because they're nonhuman, but in spite of it? (btw, in the same vein it is equally stupid to argue that A&C can't be ace because they have "gone native", which is also an argument I've come across)

Honestly, I'm not even asking anyone to fundamentally change how they see these characters here — if you think they must be asexual solely because they're angels and have no concept of human sexuality, then whatever, I can't stop you and I don’t want to police anyone's headcanons bc as I said that's stupid and a waste of time. What I am asking you is that you maybe reflect a little bit on why exactly it is that humanity and sexuality are somehow so intrinsically linked in your mind to the point where you automatically use it as a way to distinguish between human and nonhuman characters.

Anyways.

Tldr: please stop equating asexuality with non-humanness thank you and good day.

[hiskillingjar]

hi!!what do you think strade, law, and ren would react to a goth mc? love your blog btw💗

YEAH GOTHS RISE UP!!!!!!!!! as a fellow goth, love this ask and I'm gonna be totally normal about it 🖤

ren 🦊

urghhhhhhhh

he's one of those fucking "need a thicc goth to sit on my face and ruin my life" assholes on twitter so. he'd be normal for sure!

no he wouldn't, ren sucks, he would be so fetishy and gross about it

okay i'm being mean. he just...likes high aesthetic in any circumstance, so he'd instantly be attracted to an mc that has something specific to them

dolly fashion, e-girl, goth, lolita, he'd be obsessed whatever it was.

that being said, he'd only really be involved for the aesthetics

like (depending on what kind of goth you are) he'd be down with the eyeliner and the fishnets and the black on black

more than down, he'd love it! he thinks the fishnets and the leather and latex is super hot, and he'd loveeee any opportunity to see your makeup get messed up (lipstick smearing, tears ruining your eyeliner, etc)

but like. he's not going to be invested in much else. that's something for you, he just likes the way you look

law 🥀

law is basically goth already, change my mind

like in spite of not having much of an aesthetic about them, they're death-obsessed, super macabre and morbid, collect animal bones and make ART with said animal bones

that's not even discussing the poetry, the journalling, the melancholy they feel on a day-to-day basis. they've got a smiths album somewhere in their shitty apartment

they're goth!! tell me i'm wrong!

if you gave them a The Cure cd, they would be sooooooo into it. just staring at the ceiling like "yeah...he gets it".

they still prefer the smiths though. morrissey just gets them (unfortunately)

you'd be a goth power couple.

you're in your goth get-up reading poppy z brite out loud in a cemetery, they're prepping a wet specimen for you to display on the shelf they gave you in their apartment

you'd be full poppy z brite, drawing blood actually! maybe they try to kill you once or twice, just so you can see the river and they can make sure you're really like them, but that's okay.

it's just the gothic beauty of your relationship

they still love you <3

strade 🔨

i think that strade is a little alt in his own right too

like. he's got the cunty new rocks. he's got piercings. he's got long hair as a man. okay goth eurotrash, i see you! <3

this was definitely when he was younger, he looked a lot more alt, but as he gets older, it settles down

but he still likes your goth look a lot <3

just kind of in the dirty old man way though

wearing something short or low cut? you're going to get a wolf whistle and a slap on the ass

fishnets? come on now, you're just asking for trouble~

if you had more of a modest goth approach, he'd be less horned up but he might comment on it all the same. your legs look good in that, your waist looks pretty small in that belt, have you thought about throwing a harness on that?

granted, maybe a harness would be a bad choice...give him too much leverage for throwing you around and pulling you in close <3

and naturally, he'd get pretty excited from making you upset by ruining your clothes and makeup

he can only keep his sadistic inclinations at bay for so long now. what do you expect?

definitely doesn't help if and when you show up in his streams and his audience gets a good look at the 'new pet' he's keeping all to himself

you know what they say about goth girls, right? they're all kinky as fuck, you'd probably get off on whatever he did to you...

nice to see you living up to that particular stereotype <3

[ckret2]

Has the book of bill changed how you're writing the henchmaniacs? I remember in a past chapter, you presented them a specific way, but now that we have like, basic descriptions on at least a few of them thanks to TBOB, has that changed anything for you?

it's changed some things.

Xanthar, 8-Ball, Teeth, Lava Lamp, and Keyhole can stay the same���although I need to fix how I spell "Zanthar" and "8 Ball". I'm especially pleased that I called Xanthar is a lovecraftian god and Keyhole is the group Thompson.

The shapes are gonna be more difficult. I hinged a significant part of the late-stage plot on the headcanon that they're from Bill's dimension. I was ready to dismiss the Oracle saying Bill was the only survivor of his dimension with "it's a trillion years ago and she wasn't there, she's only received an incomplete version of events"; but hearing "until there was no one left but me, covered in blood, alone in the universe" makes it harder to just handwave away.

So either I need to find a loophole to keep them from Bill's universe that doesn't feel too cheaty (like, just saying "oh Bill was lying about being all alone" feels cheaty in this circumstance when there's no canon evidence that he's lying about that particular thing); or, I need to find a way to work my plot without them being from his dimension.

Amorphous Shape's characterization I'm gonna have to completely chuck out and rewrite, but I'm okay with that because I love the new characterization TBOB gave us. I'm still gonna keep her a hive mind though, I like that and it doesn't contradict anything TBOB gives us about her.

The trickiest character is gonna be Pyronica, given that I made Paci-Fire her son (look, that's a weird deep-voiced baby, SOMEBODY in the gang's gotta be his parent/guardian), and the book very clearly went "she dreams of settling down and starting a family... LMFAO not, could you imagine"

It's not totally unworkable. The overall plot arc I have planned for Pyronica—minor spoilers—is dependent upon her very much NOT wanting to have had a kid. So it oughtn't be too tricky to go "she so doesn't want to settle down... but somehow a kid happened anyway" and fit it into my existing plot; but it's gonna be harder to convince the audience "i'm not breaking canon, I'm just bending it, trust me bro" long enough for the payoff.

Maybe I could initially hide their relationship? Some kids call their parents by their name. I didn't initially plan for their relationship to be a secret twist, but Pyronica keeping it secret would make sense with the story I've got planned for her. So I could portray them as close but conceal the exact nature of their relationship and put off the reveal until we're close enough to the explanation for How This Happened. I feel like going "oh yeah btw she's got a kid in spite of what the book says" will be more convincing if it's portrayed as something that even within the gang is kept kinda hush-hush.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Post-JTTW Stone Egged Au asks: Bad Ichor

Amassing some Post-Jttw egg asks with similar vibes of "reject gods. stay monke".

Hehehe many questions - main ref post here. Btw in future try sending one sentence questions/comment as replies to the specfic posts. sometimes I find asks referencing a post and I can't remember which one they're talking about.

Wukong in the au makes a concious effort to inform his cubs and his people of what his mother sacrificed to bring him into the world. Her statue and the paintings on the walls of Waterfall Curtain a tapestry of a ruler more fair and far grander that any celestial in the monkeys minds.

And when their little chaotic Eclipse twins found the Consort's resting place, more of Wukong's parent's sacrifice was uncovered. Along with the King's delayed twin brother Luzhen. The little prince grows up being taught how him and the "larger him" share parents, but they aren't here in person anymore but they love him very much. Luzhen has met his and Wukong's parents during the holidays that allow it and gladly runs up to Yē Lín and Shíhuā calling them "Baba" and "Mama" let he's known them all his life. He misses them a lot. But older Brother/Mama and Bama/Baba are really good to him so he isn't sad for long.

Wukong never lets Heaven realise that Luzhen isn't his biological child, as he fears the Emperor or Queen Mother attempting to sieze custody of Luzhen out of spite. The few higher up that know agree that baby monkeys need to be with monkeys.

Pigsy is still uber confused when Luzhen refers to Wukong as "mama" and "gege" in the same sentence tho.

Mac and Wukong are still super petty tho. They call upon their ancestors during the cubs' naming ceremonies to give their little one's blessings. And along with Shíhuā, Yē Lín and Guanyin making an appearance, the royal couple are invoked to send divine blessings of protection down onto earth. They know who's calling them. They aren't happy about it but they won't hurt the little ones.

MK is still a huge JTTW fan, even more so since to him it's like learning about all this cool stuff his family did back in the Before times! And he was there for a lot it! (even if he wasn't born yet). Him and his childhood besties deduced early on that they have *some* kind of family in the Celestial realm, just not sure who.

As for the Dragons:

Going by Ao Guang still being upset by the theft (barely, in Jttw his wife let Wukong have it), of the Staff, I imagine that dragon can be super petty. Ao Guang doesn't like Sun Wukong at all for the theft and the havoc in heaven, even if he was cordial to him during the Journey.

When the youngest son of the Ao Run/Ji is fatally wounded by the Samadhi Fire, basically every royal dragon had an attack of pstd to when they lost Ao Bing. They started to hate Sun Wukong for his recklessness.

Then DBK, Wukong's older sworn brother and godfather to his young twins, suddenly goes on a rampage forcing Heaven's hands.

The royal dragons basically took DBK's imprisionment as an excuse to bail out. Dragons don't like the gods, and they don't like Sun Wukong.

Mei's parents hadn't wanted to cut ties with the monkeys, but Mei was a super sickly dragon pup and Ao Yi simply couldn't emotionally deal with cutting off her family with that happening... her and Long Chen continue to send Wukong's family birthday presents, card, and the occasional letter - all covert like a spy mission. Other dragons who disagreed with the royals continue this practice as well.

And ofc S4:

:)

Nezha: "Jade Emperor, there's a message for you from Sun Qi Xiaotian." Jade Emperor & Queen Mother: (*super intrigued! Did he find out about their connection?*) JE: "Send him in." Nezha, peaks head out of window: "Yeah he's in." MK: (*busts through wall like a Looney tunes character, shaking with anxiety*) MK, like he's on fast-forward: "Mister Jade Emperor sir I'm so sorry but Azure Lion's got this memory scroll and he trapped my family in it. He tricked me and my friends into freeing his old buddies from the Brotherhood but he wont let my mom loose and NOW he has my baby sister and little bro (it's complicated) and they're on their way here right now to kill you and my powers are glitching out and I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!" JE: "Uhhh..." Queen Mother, rolls her eyes and turns to her entourage: "Prepare the safehouse. Contact all the bodhisattvas and the Kings of Hell, and tell our armies to be ready for a big game hunt. And get this child some peaches." MK: (*heavily breathing/mid-panic attack. gives thumbs up*) Mei, peaking her head in: "Wow. Girl bossing!" Nezha: "And Sun Wukong my lady?" Queen Mother: (*looks over MK like he's the most precious thing in the universe. like she doesn't want to let him leave*) Queen Mother: "For the sake of my daughter... find Sun Wukong's mate the Six Eared Macaque. He knows those Brotherhood brutes well. It's the least he can do for giving my grandson such distress with that disappearing act." Rumble & Savage, appear from the Queen Mother's shadow: "Do we gets peaches too?" "I like melon better." Queen Mother: "Who are these?" MK, calming down: "My older little siblings. They're twins. Azure didn't take them. Probably because he couldn't catch them." Rumble & Savage, proudly flexing: "We're too fast!" "And we got our bama's powers!" Queen Mother: (*notices little red tiger-stripe-like markings on the twins' bodies*) "OH!!!! He had twins! My love! More wàizēngsūnérnǚ! Twins too!!" JE: (*frozen stiff on his throne, completely shocked*) "Can the brown one repeat what he said about celestial beasts coming to kill me?" MK, blanking at QM's use of chinese: "Did the Queen just say-" Orchard Maidens, quickly shuffling the Noodle Gang out of the Throne Room: "SO! How about those peaches?" "You'll learn soon enough." "Sorry, but we're going into lockdown." "He's taller than didi!" "Must be mother's genes that did that."

Basically MK is calling in the big guns early cus he's panicking, abd accidentally uncovers the fact that he's somehow the great-grandchild (by reincarnation nonsense) of the two rulers of Heaven!?

All he wanted when all this Scroll nonsense happened was a day off!

[mortifiedmouse]

HI!! idk if you're accepting asks about Fi Fidelis, but I want to know more about himmmm! (feel free to answer Any or None of these questions LOL)

Ok so *clears throat and slams down heavy book of questions on the table*... on a scale of 'Insomniac' to 'I sleep 16 hours a day', where does Fi sit?

where does he fit on the scale of introverted to extroverted?

Is he a good liar? how good is he at keeping secrets? What is Fi's favorite things about Mortimer? :] What would Fi's relationships be with the rest of da cast (you might have already answered this one, I forgor 😭 but if there's any new info I'd love to hear!), including any ocs if you think any would have a fun dynamic with Fi 😌

How does he act around people he likes? what about people he *dislikes*?

Nah I love it when folks show interest in the lil goober!

I'm just slow about writing stuff for him 😅, so I'll answer what I can!

♦ Fi's sleep schedule is somewhat consistent. He tries to get a normal 8 hours, but due to habitually staying up late he often falls short a few hours. Sometimes he'll pull an all-nighter while researching and be completely out of it the following morning.

♦ Fi's an ambivert who's formerly an introvert. He learned to be comfortable with socializing but still would rather stay home and avoid all that if he can. Around his closest friends tho, he can be a bit more extroverted simply because he's comfortable around them.

♦ The magic community I'm writing for my version of Toontown tend stay hidden and keep to themselves, so being a good liar and keeping secrets just comes with the territory. He does like to tease Mickey and Mortimer with made up magical facts and see their reactions.

♦ I think it's safe to assume you mean my version of Mortimer, so with that in mind... Fi's favorite things about Mortimer, huh? Mortimer often tries to make people laugh with lame jokes. He's a lot of fun to tease and mess with. His butt. In general Fi finds Mortimer's antics to be endearing. Mortimer also wants to overcome his past and be a better person which Fi respects him for.

♦ I answered for a few of them in a previous ask so I'll just cover a few that I didn't last time. I think I'll go a step further and answer these in character

About Minnie: "I think Minnie is very sweet, smart, and dependable, it's no surprise so many people like her. She also seems to really like fancy stuff. Funny, Mickey doesn't strike me as the fancy type." (he doesn't know she used to be a bit of a floozy btw)

About Daisy: "She can be a bit... annoying sometimes- b-but she's good people! I can tell she's really good for Donald, especially when it comes to calming him down."

About Clarabelle: " Yeah, she's way too nosy for her own good, but she's harmless. All wizards have secrets to keep, that's just how it is. She's nice when she's not getting in your business."

(it's around here I realized that I basically just skipped the ladies in that other post lol whoops)

♦ As I said earlier, Fi's more outgoing around people he likes. For people he doesn't, he's more reserved, cold, and sometimes spiteful.

Well this was a lot to type, hope you got what you wanted! 😁

[sk1fanfiction]

ch.1 of tsa review — just finished reading the new chapter and i'm so excited !! as usual i must share my thoughts bc you know how obsessed i am with this fic. *clears throat* here we go: starting from the tags i', absolutely loving how it says "lily evans haunting the narrative even more than usual" we love to see it, she needs to be this looming presence that absolutely throws a wrench in all of voldemort's plans bc why tf not? it just draws so many parallels imo but anyway. the little blurb is so interesting, specifically the last line but i'll come to that later.

i do think it's a bit depressing to be in tom's position of being constantly questioned regarding his intentions when he did very much agree (albeit reluctantly) to give up his magic, the thing most precious to him in ways people could probably not understand, and still be treated sooo cautiously but alas, i find that dumbledore being his only "steadfast supporter" so funny that i will let it slide bc i appreciate the humour of it all. (it's very intriguing to see how ruby's questioning of his loyalty is haunting him, and causing him the most discomfort bc why would it, huh tom?? but i'm sure he's not aware of everything he's experiencing 👀). also this is like super mean but snape being emotional is so funny to me and then tom choosing to stay out of it just makes it 10x worse (better) he's such a glummy glum glum talking about "death was after all the end of meaning" 🙄

harry and ruby owls went way better than i expected !! idk why i expected harry to still fail potions despite being basically a prodigy in it, we all know snape is spiteful enough to call it a fluke and fail him by dropping him a band 😭 ruby is such a little smartie, i love her she's so precious and i support her still being bitter about anthony (even if lowkey, in anthony's view, ruby was probably sooo unattainable; she has a bwl brother who survived the big bad dark lord, is a murderer and went missing for a full year only to come back with a hottie (guard dog/babysitter) who is extremely mysterious and keeps every adult on guard plus her mother was an unspeakable and her dad was a famous pureblood with crazy money; like yeah dude... i'd go for the next best thing too!). i hope bill gets better soon, he's my fave weasley along with charlie 😖 harry still not realising he has a crush on cho AND cedric is tres funny btw.

also

“Were my mum and Snape really friends?” harry is so funny guys you just don't get it

oh bella, bella, bella... girl what are you doing !! i like that the part in deathly hallows is sort of echoed here. anyway, this woman is crazy, she thinks her lord has one (1) bastard child and suddenly she's defying all orders and snooping like girl !! do you not fear his wrath?!! honestly, i aspire to be as delusional as her, she keeps it real to herself and that's lowkey goals bc wdym she thinks the dark lord has personally betrayed her 😭 she's incredibly petty too which is just the icing on top istg, let her humble all the idiotic men in her house, she's a girlboss and her entire inner monologue gives me life.

but anyway this:

'I have seen your heart, a familiar voice whispered, high and cold, and it is mine.' is a crazy line, CUP TOM WHY ARE YOU SO CREEPY 😭 no wonder she threw him across the room, chill bud.

which then brings me to this:

"but beware… not everyone can be trusted; regardless of what side you're on." i was wondering at the start who it could be bc we have the very obvious contenders: snape and tom who are highly suspected but then reading bella with the cup and then your response on op's comment in ao3 made me think bella might be the "traitor" which is SO crazy to think and so twisted that i love it if it is the case.

she needs to be this looming presence that absolutely throws a wrench in all of voldemort's plans bc why tf not?

Yes, this! (She's doing her best to subvert the Dead Mother trope).

i do think it's a bit depressing to be in tom's position of being constantly questioned regarding his intentions when he did very much agree (albeit reluctantly) to give up his magic

Technically it was only his wand which he has back now, and also without his internal monologue a lot of his behaviour is veryyy shady (not to mention he's not what you'd call a reliable narrator). And the only person he's actually genuinely apologized to is Hagrid, so I personally can't blame them.

i find that dumbledore being his only "steadfast supporter" so funny that i will let it slide

Well of course, Dumbledore is the only other character to have the experience of nearly becoming a Dark Lord.

it's very intriguing to see how ruby's questioning of his loyalty is haunting him, and causing him the most discomfort bc why would it, huh tom??

Why indeed... honestly in his head he probably thinks he has some right to her trust

he's such a glummy glum glum talking about "death was after all the end of meaning" 🙄

He is, after all, (canonically) a drama queen.

idk why i expected harry to still fail potions despite being basically a prodigy in it, we all know snape is spiteful enough to call it a fluke and fail him by dropping him a band

mmm the sense I got from canon was that the exams were not scored/graded by the professors since the examiners were from the Ministry or whatever? I could be wrong, but Snape would have definitely taken off as many points as he could manage lol

in anthony's view, ruby was probably sooo unattainable; she has a bwl brother who survived the big bad dark lord, is a murderer and went missing for a full year only to come back with a hottie (guard dog/babysitter) who is extremely mysterious and keeps every adult on guard plus her mother was an unspeakable and her dad was a famous pureblood with crazy money

oh my god nooooo she's a ✨Mary Sue✨ (jk jk jk jk).

i hope bill gets better soon, he's my fave weasley along with charlie 😖

I can't promise soon but... we'll see. I was thinking of killing him at the end of A Common Adversary but I decided to save all my character deaths up for this year.

harry still not realising he has a crush on cho AND cedric is tres funny btw.

He is truly as dense as a... uh... a neutron star?

anyway, this woman is crazy, she thinks her lord has one (1) bastard child and suddenly she's defying all orders and snooping like girl !! do you not fear his wrath?!!

'Ride or die' as in 'ride or we both die'

honestly, i aspire to be as delusional as her, she keeps it real to herself and that's lowkey goals bc wdym she thinks the dark lord has personally betrayed her

Well Andromeda did hit her with the 'and you think he loves you' will so she's probably been like... percolating on that.

she's incredibly petty too which is just the icing on top istg, let her humble all the idiotic men in her house, she's a girlboss and her entire inner monologue gives me life.

As she should (imagine having to live with Lucius 🫠)

'I have seen your heart, a familiar voice whispered, high and cold, and it is mine.' is a crazy line, CUP TOM WHY ARE YOU SO CREEPY 😭

Technically Locket!Riddle's line from Deathly Hallows, but they're the same guy so I thought it fit. The man did try to do some weird psychosexual shit on Ron tbf.

i was wondering at the start who it could be bc we have the very obvious contenders: snape and tom who are highly suspected

I mean... don't count anyone out yet they're not in the clear lol

but then reading bella with the cup and then your response on op's comment in ao3 made me think bella might be the "traitor" which is SO crazy to think and so twisted that i love it if it is the case.

I can neither confirm nor deny anything

🤐

[olderthannetfic]

Fanvid anon here again. Sorry for this veeery long ask!

In reply to this: /728290706491375616 Holy shit, thank you for the fandom history lesson and the video recommendations, I will go through all of them! (Not right now yet as I'm currently procrastinating studying for two uni exams that are next week and for which I have done almost nothing yet, oops. Will sit down to watch them this evening though.) I feel you on the "motivated by spite" part. "Oh, you think they aren't cute together and you think it's silly/stupid/nonsensical to ship them? Well, let me gather all my reasons for this being my OTP and smash them in your face then!"

Also thank you for the advice, I'll probably refrain from tagging it as ship manifesto then, heh. And about most fanvids not being on AO3, I sent this ask late at night when I was sleepy and tired, and when I saw your reply, I was like "oh yeah right, the fic itself on AO3 would just be empty if the link were broken due to takedowns, not automatically removed, the fuck was I thinking" XD

In reply to this: /728297732625907712 Thank you very much for the programme recommendations! I recently had a tiny look around at what people use for cutting and editing videos and then spontaneously downloaded Openshot. I'll definitely check out DaVinci Resolve. Btw the reason why I thought about getting into vidding was that I tried to make gifs again after not having done that in years, and my files were over 200mb because I had forgotten how to gif for tumblr, ha! Had wanted to put those gifs on a ship manifesto-ish thingy on tumblr, but then thought that many of those moments go on a little too long to put into one gif each, and thought I might as well try to make a fanvid of their moments together.

--

I don't think anyone will be offended if you tag 'ship manifesto'. I just think they'll be expecting a little essay to go along with your vid. Given how underused the entire manifesto genre of meta is on AO3, I don't think anyone's going to be too bothered by "extra" things in the tag.

Gifsets can be nice, but honestly, the amount of work to really make them tidy and pretty probably isn't any less than to make a basic vid, yeah.

[notquitedeadpod]

Hello just wanted to say love everything going on in this podcast, just, on every level. The vampire lore is everything to me, love the way the monstrous and the alluring intertwine (and are also the same thing). Neige in particular is. Very important to me. The way he's (from what I've gathered so far) legitimately not tired of life after having so much of it? How even if he's having trouble staying in the moment he still cherishes the new, enjoys and dislikes things with his entire heart? As someone who struggles with letting itself enjoy life seeing this guy who's been around for thousands of years and is like "zis entire life thing is great and my capacity for joy in infinite" just. Warms my heart? And of course vampires are very much about queerness in here, but the way Neige refuses to let himself wallow in self pity, to not enjoy his life despite the difficulties of it (or to deny the fact that he's alive) is also Doing Things for me from a chronic illness perspective. And yeah, the queerness perspective of course. Fun aside fact I am very, very asexual and I think your funky vampires helped me conceptualize desire better? I don't get attraction but I do get hunger and they're basically the same thing maybe. When a guy gives you that garlic bread sort of feeling. Fascinating. Anyways thank you for making Neige a guy that exists! Really appreciate all the creatures happening in your head and that you elected to share them with the world <3

<3 <3 <3

This was such a wonderful message to receive, thank you so much for taking the time to share all of this with me. It's such an incredible thing to have made something that resonates with other people, and it's so powerful to hear about the place my little creation has in your life!

One thing I want to reflect on here, specifically, is what you said about Neige. For very different reasons, this aspect of him, where he continues to choose to live, is deeply important to me in a very similar way. Neige's life has not been easy. He's been around for so long and the world has not been kind to him during all of those many years, but he continues to choose to live, and most importantly, to me, he's living NOT because he thinks that the bad times are over, but because he knows that the GOOD times aren't over, either.

There is something very cathartic for me to write a character who isn't wildly optimistic, isn't filled with spite about it, but who looks at life and all it has to offer, and all of what it has offered already, and says yes. All of that, good and bad? More of it, please.

Yeah, idk. It means a lot to me to write about it, that I'm able to, that it's resonating with other people when I do.

Also YES the sexual desire vs hunger thing is fascinating because this show is VERY about exploring that connection, about love and consumption and dependency and like. Idk. Vampires overall just represent something powerful to me about desire and yearning and hunger.

I will speak at some point (which is why the second part of the Q&A STILL isn't out, btw, it began to CONSUME me) about vampires as alienated bodies, how that relates to the vampire x human and vampire x vampire dynamics I explore in the show, and like. More broadly about connections between monstrousness and carnal desire and consumption. These connections fascinate me are very much things I'm super alive to when I'm writing the show so!! Very fun to think about!!

--- Eira xxx

[causenessus]

HI HI HI HI NESS IM BACKKFJFKSMSOS so first of all tumblr hates me why is that the FOURTH ask of mine u answered that i wasnt notified of should i just die

anyways im eating lunch rn

healthy girl era did not work out i took a 6 hour (?) nap yesterday so!!

trying again today

N E WAYS

today the teacher told us her old students were too non che lent (nonchalant!!) so they failed the exam (wat.)

and my friend wanted to laugh about it w me but i wasnt looking so she yeeted my OTHER friends eraser at me

but it

it hit (near?) the teacher..

she was sooo mad omfg

giggling i hate her

like basically i answer all her questions out of spite now like YEAH BRO I KNOW THIS ALR😕😕

Also i swear i dif this math problem right but the teacher said it was wrong (wat.) and my friend did it too and we got the same answer (wat.)

i wrote fanfiction at school ☝️😎 it has already been digitalised but like i DID write it

and tjen my friend read an original short story (? 1.2k words) i wrote which was basically me projecting and she almost cried so like Uh

slay???

dude i love talking so much u have no idea actually

ALSO THE THING ABOUT THE ENRGY LIKe I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY OMG SO I GET EXCITED YK

n e ways..

i was watching american psycho last night but i got distracted..😭 ALSO IM SO EXCITED ABT ONICS LIKE EUSHEPSHAPSJXOSKAJDKAAKKDKD

>tries 2 normal

>fails

OK SO!! HRU AND WHATS GOING ON IN UR LIFE AND IF U EVER NEED TO HIRE A HITMAN IM HERE FOR U ❤️‍🩹 as the hitman btw ❤️‍🩹

U SHOULD NOT DIE!!! TUMBLR SHOULD DIE HOW DARE THEY!!! i am so confused at like what is happening at tumblr hq 😭😭 like there are problems that need to be solved!!!! and i feel like they should be pretty simple to fix!!! but instead they're like "NO LET'S MAKE TAGGING USERS GO BLUE AND COMMENTS UGLY"

but anyway!! i hope your lunch was good!! AND A SIX HOUR NAP SOUNDS AMAZING AND JUST AS PRODUCTIVE AS WORKING OUT!! it's hard to balance everything so definitely don't stress too much about it!! you have your whole life ahead of you to like do something like working out so not doing it one day is totally okay!! (yk?? i hope that made sense and i'm sorry i hope it's okay to say that 😭)

??? nonchalant -> failing exam???? i do not see the correlation??? 😭 YOUR TEACHER IS VV SPECIAL!! IS THIS THE ONE THAT TEACHES ENGLISH BUT ISN'T....ACTUALLY....THAT GREAT....AT ENGLISH??? 😭 OR MAYBE IT'S UR MATH TEACHER BC U ALSO SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BUT THE ERASER ALMOST HITTING YOUR TEACHER IS CRAZY I WOULD'VE DIED ON THE SPOT 😭😭

also math teachers love to like??? tell u ur wrong and then not explain how to correctly do something??? so i think u should just blame them for everything!! that sounds fair <3

I'VE ALSO WRITTEN FANFICTION AT SCHOOL LMAOOO i remember being on my computer during french class and my guy was just so boring i pulled out the doc and started writing but LUCKILY it was like an oc fic so it wasn't as scary to write as a x reader UNLIKE WHEN I WAS MAKING TONIC PFPS AND MY DOCUMENT WAS LITERALLY CALLED LIKE yn & atsumu and for some reason all of my friends wanted to COME UP FROM BEHIND ME AND HUG ME!! OR LOOK AT MY SCREEN!! and i was just 😃😃😃 but i have no shame so oh well

THE ORIGINAL SHORT STORY SOUNDS GOOD!! ESP IF IT ALMOST MADE YOUR FRIEND CRY?? 😭 I HOPE YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT THOUGH <3 AND I LOVE HEARING YOU TALK!! PLEASE TALK AS MUCH AS YOU WANT I WILL READ EVERYTHING YOU TELL ME <33

I'M SO SO GLAD YOU'RE EXCITED FOR TONICS!! I AM TOO <333 I'M SLOWLY PLANNING IT OUT LIKE ONE CHAPTER AT A TIME AND I'M LITERALLY SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT OMG OMG OMG <33

THANK U LINA!!! I WOULD LOVE FOR U TO BE MY HITMAN <33 I MAY NEED ONE JUST TO GET THRU SCHOOL BC MY HALLS FR ARE SCARY SOMETIMES YK?? like too many scary girls who look me up and down in their little crop tops and shorts and nike air forces and are like "why are u wearing pants in the summer" BC I CAN?? AND I DON'T LIKE SHOWING THAT MUCH SKIN THANK U?? (sorry this probably makes no sense i think my brain has short circuited today </33) BUT I'M DOING ALR!!! i'm stressed about my theatre duties starting up very very soon 😭😭 but i'll let u know how that goes once they start!!! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL TODAY!!! AND EAT SOMETHING GOOD <33

[destinygoldenstar]

Here's a fun fact:

In TDDRI, Izzy was originally NOT supposed to be alive as long as she is. She was supposed to die in the Chapter 2 execution, like it was framed she would. The backstory was the same, her reasons for killing Cody was the same, but she didn't have that much relevance to the story.

Which is crazy, because for those who read the fic, she's VERY relevant, and will be going forward.

But yeah, originally she was just a side character and a Chapter 2 Culprit who died like any Culprit did.

So what changed? The reception I got from the fic. People loved her character in the fic so much, and were heavily intrigued in what she'd do in the future.

So I decided to keep her around longer and made her part much bigger.

It is so rare that I EVER listen to my fans on dictating my writing choices. I'm one of those people who believe that writers should do their own thing and make the story they want. This is the exception.

Why? Because what I originally had was far less interesting, and I got pointed out the loads of potential Izzy had with the narrative I gave her.

For example, originally, it was the Mastermind that made Chapter 4's motive, not Izzy. Which, if you know, would've been very out of character for the Mastermind, who wants to rehabilitate everyone and not actively torture and kill them. Whereas Izzy wanted to kill and torture them.

Keeping Izzy around actively helped polish some of the plot holes in my original script.

Izzy is one of the most unique characters I've written in anything for sure. Why? Because with the others there's SOME logic to their actions and behaviors. But with Izzy, there seems to be next to none besides trauma and wanting to spite the killing games that caused said trauma. She constantly lies to everyone and herself, she constantly gains different perspectives from whats happened to her, and there is little to no rationality behind her thinking whatsoever.

As written to quote Noah: "If you can't make sense of it, she can. Simple as that."

I'm not psychotic. I'm autistic. Those two things are NOT similar at all btw. I had to do research, and even then I think I got stuff wrong. But I do kind of relate to that line from my own habits. Sometimes there isn't any logic behind what people do. Some people don't have a good emotional control for example, and logic is out the window. For psychos, the definition is NOT 'crazy' it's actually 'disconnected from reality'. You see things that aren't there. You start behaving on your own rules and not the rules of the real world. You get triggered in some form by things that seem irrational to others.

Based on that, you can actually see multiple TDDRI characters being/becoming psychotic because of the game. (Like Lindsay, the Mastermind, or hell, even Duncan) Izzy is just the most experienced with it, therefore she is triggered the most. I didn't want to portray mental illness as the reason why Izzy is 'evil'. I don't call her evil, personally. That's really up to how you view her. That's why it's easy to see multiple characters suffering from stuff like this, to show that different people have different reactions, and it's not 'psychosis makes you a bad person'. That's not true.

The other characters calling her crazy is NOT necessarily me the writer telling the audience to see psychos as crazy. It's these particular characters not knowing how psychosis works and interpreting it inaccurately. Like real people with no experience do.

Basically, Izzy is chaotic. She goes by her own rules. She doesn't care what the good or evil choice is. She just does or the sake of her own emotions and mind playing her. It's all from real life experience that she's had, and of course, people not understanding what psychosis is. Logic is not the way to understanding her.

I usually write characters based on logic, but thanks to Izzy forcing a new approach, I feel like these characters have become more authentic as a result. When it comes to fiction, we often interpret character's actions as something 'in character' for them, something that can be explained, something that can be easily understandable. It's bad writing if it's not.

That's actually not the real world, and I've certainly had perspective shifts from that in life. There's so many other factors from people's actions. Stuff that can't be explained at all. We like to think we're not biased, but sometimes we are and we can't find logic as to why we're biased, for example.

I think that's the appeal of Izzy in this fic. She's one of the toughest characters to crack the code of, and that's why she's brought so much life to this fic and helped me make it feel a lot more real on the psychological destruction these games can do to people.

So, I'm happy y'all wanted her to stay around. Idk if the story would've worked nearly as well otherwise.

[l1vs-kpopclass]

🧜‍♀️𝙎𝙐𝙉𝙈𝙄- 𝙎𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙣🧜‍♀️

𝗡���𝗧𝗜𝗖𝗘: i breakdown the songs i like and not (always) the latest ones.

i can say i know basic korean and this song is easy to understand, also i like it a lot! lets start quickly 😌

ctto^

[Verse 1]

line: 내가 말했잖아 "속지 말라고"

내가: I

말했-: said, told (should actually be 말했어 but it has another ending instead)

-잖아: you know (you know that i told you)

속다: to be deceived

-지 말라고: don't

line: 이 손을 잡는 수간 너는 위험해질 거라고

이: this

손: hand

-을: accusative ending

잡다: to hold

-는 순간: the moment when...

너는: you

위험하다: to be in danger, to be dangerous

-질 거라고: not sure of this exactly, but maybe it's like an indirect quotation? (or like "to put under a situation")

line: now you are bleeding 근대도 글리니

근대도: still, although

글리다: to be attracted

-니: it's and informal question ending (replaced with 다)

line: 뻔히 다 알면서도 왜 그리 빤히 쳐다보니?

뻔히: clearly, obviously

다: everything, all

알다: to know

-면서도: also "yet, in spite of" etc but added at the end of verbs and adjectives

그리: like that

빤히 쳐다보다: to stare deeply (wow that's a long verb)

line: 놔 그냥

놔: let go

그냥: just

line: 조금도 망소리지 말고

조금: a little

-도: even

망소리다: to hesitate

-지 말고: don't

line: 너를 아프게 할 거란 걸 알잖아

너를: you+acc

아프게: to be sick, to be in pain

게 하다: to make someone or something (do) smth

거라: same as the prev. line ^

-ㄴ 걸: okieee this might be confusing for english speakers... it makes the verb accusative?

알잖아: you know

line: 니 환상에 아름다운 나는 없어

니: your

환상: imagination

-에: in, at

아름다운: beautiful

나는: me

없어: basically makes it negative, so it says (there isn't a beautiful me in your imagination)

line: get away out of my face 더 다가오지 마 boy

더: (any)more

다가오다: to come close(r)

-지 마: don't

line: 슬퍼해도 난 울지 않아

슬퍼하다: to be sad

-도: even though (this 도 dude is realllly useful in korean btw)

난: I

울다: to cry

-지 않아: don't

line: get away out of my face 더 바라보지 마 boy

-더: (any)more

바라보다: to look back

-지 않아: don't

~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~

AND THAT'S A WRAP! I actually wanted to do the whole song but realized... yeah I'm too lazy to do that, sorry 😔 but I hope you enjoy!

I have finals tomorrow btw, wish me luck 🥹✌🏻

aaaand let's meet at the next post 🌼 (hopefully)

060423

~liv

[abrthephantomq]

Note to self:

Recorded us playing Match Game or whatever it's called while high, about 14 minutes

If you can trim it down to below 10, TikTok. If you can't, alex.thephantomq@gmail.com' YouTube.

Phantom is the one doing this.

Getting in the Head of Bobby Fulbright?

Dang that would be a cool fanfic idea. Like. Each little goofy thing he did to throw Simon off his trail? Bc no one knew Phantom better than Blackquill.

Ohhhh. Mitchel playing as Jazz and Jazz playing as Mitchel? Like, is this really how I would act in this situation?

Heavy is the Crown being the movie they're actors in?

That's based on my Empire Verse?

And Jazz and Mitchel are playing themselves (well, Jazz is the one who is actually Mitchel; Mitchel is the one who is actually Jazz).

But I gotta write actual Heavy is the Crown first so I can do the fic version? Oh hell yeah that tracks.

Btw 1000000% going with the Steven/Savin being written off. Jazz who is actually absolutely destroyed, Jazz. Jazz who slept with Mitchel just to spite Steven, damn well knowing that Steven actually wants to fuck Mitchel more than he does. Like, yeah, he wants to fuck Mitchel. Mitchel's hot. But you want to /fuck/ him. You want to push him up against a wall and make out with him until he shuts up and -

fuck that's hot

- EXACTLY, YOU want to fuck him

no, I - .... : honest reflection: okay fine, yes. Yes I do. But - no, you talking about me like that. /That's/ what I was reacting to

i - what? [Absolutely fucking flustered, blinking look]

you talking about me as if I'm not the biggest fucking slut for dicks. If I want Mitchel to fuck me, I want him to /fuck/ me --

but I don't -

well yeah I know /you/ don't, you're trans, babe.

okay, but - I have a strap?

yes, I know. And I do like it when you use it, but -

so what's the difference?

....how the fuck do you tell your husband that it's because he has a pussy same as you and you want to have your face buried in his pretty much at all times?

And that it's partially because if you have to pause ANY of the build up to sexy-time your horrendous ADHD will kick in and you'll lose all interest- which includes the strap more often than not - and therefore the fact that Mitchel has a cock means all he'd have to do is look at you the right way to get you practically dripping, begging for --

"Fuck, why did you have to point out that I want to fuck him?"

Jazz: *cackling in the background*

["Took you long enough, sweetpea." [A-Team]]

[Armando (13!yo Angelica, post social transition) specifically, having an echolalia moment] "H'Okay, so. Here's the Earth - That's a sweet earth you might say - rrround."]

Will that ever make sense to anyone? Probs not. Anyways. Resumes scene with the dialogue skipping ahead, to a point later in the conversation (and past when our t4t clearly end up fucking / have moved on with their day)

You blink and look up, watching the way his mouth moves as he - as he's in the middle of some passionate rant that you just can't quite

"...the fact that the cold war basically never ended --"

There. There's his voice. You need to focus on it. Not his mouth if you focus on his mouth you're gonna get -

"-- both Russia and the US propagandized their people into believing it was in fact over bc the USSR fucked up and everything fell apart etc --"

Another blink. The body feels more like his. Yours. Mine? Mm. Look at how his cheeks puff out a little when he --

Fuck, we lost him to the horny.

"I'm sorry, what are you talking about?

Thank fucking GOD for you, Stella.

He blinks at you, interrupted mid-rant, his face turning pink. He's not necessarily embarrassed, but there is a little bit present on his face. Probably because you're openly staring at him like he's god's greatest gift to the Earth. [A-Team: *gagging sounds* ugh you two are GROSS 🤢 do we really have to write that? Ugh FINE.]

Of course, his cute embarrassment disappears a moment later, and he smirks down at you as he crowds into your space.

"Oh, you hadn't figured that out yet?" he says it just as he tilts your chin upwards. You allow it, your breath catching a little in your throat as his green eyes sparkle.

You shake your head. "No," you say a second later. "I hadn't."

"Well, I wouldn't want to spoil it for you," his fingers drift down the column of your throat, every bit a threat and every bit /not/. "I know how you like to figure things out for yourself."

AND CUT

-- sun & moon

[noodlyappendages03]

Yup. That was it. DD walked up with his beautiful eyes and dazzling smile as he always does. He didn't cut and run. He found out I was doing shadow work therapy last week and I thought, "Oh God, he thinks I'm crazy." Turns out he doesn't. He shared that he was in therapy up until his separation last year and then asked me about it. Didn't pry but said I could share if I felt comfortable. I now get the sense that he has strong feelings for me but is mature enough to know that we can't make the two parts of our lives co-exist at this moment in time. Definitely not a fuckboy. He really tried his best to make his marriage work from our conversation today. Loves his baby girl to pieces. But it was a pandemic shotgun wedding with the wrong person. It really, really sucks that I can't sleep with him anymore, but it would only prolong and intensify the pain for both of us. Better to preserve and deepen our relationship as it is than to ruin it completely.

He knows about my major trauma - raped at 18 as a virgin and was impregnated against my will. Dissociated heavily in the days after. I miscarried in a dorm bathroom in the first trimester and was in heavy denial about the pregnancy because I was trying to deal with what had happened, plus I had taken a test too soon and it was negative - stuffed it all down and tried to pretend it never happened because the one person I told laughed at me and didn't believe me. Complex PTSD doesn't let you do that, btw. Attempted suicide 4 months after the miscarriage because the pain of living in the aftermath was just too much. Chose to stay on this earth out of pure spite and hatred toward my rapist, if we're being honest. Yay spite!

I've been able to heal the pregnancy wound by having my daughter 14 years later, but have had deep shame issues around sex ever since. Married a man young who made me feel secure emotionally but had no sex drive. At the time that was fine, and we had our kid, but I could count the times we were intimate on basically two hands in a decade. As I healed, I felt like I was not only missing out but unable to reclaim my sexuality. That ended, and here we are. DD certainly helped me reclaim parts of my sexuality that used to feel dirty to me. He took my virginity in um, a different way...haha! 😆 🍑

DD was in shock and in awe when I shared my story. He revealed he had a son at 22 - accidental pregnancy and later took responsibility after not being present for him growing up. He said he couldn't bear to imagine how painful it must have been for me to not have had a say in my bodily autonomy and to also be just 18 years old - about the same age as his son now, btw - and to technically give birth while being not entirely aware of what was happening with zero support system and then have to deal with complicated grief/rage/PTSD. So he kinda understood my situation, what makes me tick, and why I seek therapy. In fact, his son was born the same year that took place. So yeah...we share a unique bond.

If anything, he seemed to admire me more for being open about journaling and therapy. I'm trying to work on myself. Dude's got his own wounds to heal. He knows we're both unhealed. Both of us felt love and ran scared. Have to fix ourselves before there can be a healthy relationship (and one of us would have to quit because the working environment would become unhealthy - the Gossips!). Time will tell.

[lunarfortune]

okay im just gonna type some shit for the moment or whatever but elise mf origin post because it's super funny to me

long rambly post with a bunch of card game images

anyway way back in like 2020 and early 2021 Legends of Runeterra had its Lab of Legends mode. Similar to Path of Champions but like, way more basic since it was the earlier version. You pick a champ and fight through a series of 9? stages or so, theyre all the same each time, with the bosses being Thresh, Sejuani (FUCK Scargrounds stage) and Viktor (and FUCK Guard Bots stage too). Each first clear with a champ would grant you a unique player icon for them, but I wasn't super concerned with collecting them all, I really just wanted Miss Fortune. The problem was that her starting deck is kind of Not Great and it's especially easy to get reamed by bad rng and her ability is straight up a hindrance against Scargrounds. I was having so much trouble with MF runs it was unreal. My friend cleared it relatively quickly, but I could not for the life of me get a good run going. I struggled with it on and off for WEEKS. I was just resigned to never clearing it.

So one fateful day in February of 2021 I am going through yet another MF lab run and get offered a choice between Zoe, Elise and Jinx as my deck's support champs. Fuck it, I'm thinking, just take Elise for laughs, who gives a shit anymore.

While I'm playing I'm shitposting on discord with a friend and making jokes about the whole thing, and we all know what happens when you make jokes. Didn't win that run but within a day it did get the gears in ye olde brain turning.

(i've now had this sitting in drafts for a month btw LOL i forgor)

The next month I'm starting up yet another run, and at this point I'm so demoralized by my bad luck with this I'm just like, yeah okay whatever Elise again, I'm just gonna lose at Scargrounds again like always

So I'm just going through the motions with this run and being more excited about the loot I'm getting of the Empires of the Ascended event. Somehow got quite lucky through Scars and Sejuani because the ai wasn't pulling followers to play.

Like I really cannot stress how lackluster the rng through this run was, I was genuinely surprised I got through Sejuani lmao

I guess purely to spite me, this run makes it past Foundry and Guard Bots and gets to Viktor. It's.... dicey. Elise's spiders give me more fodder to keep the nexus safe but between Elise's support cards and Sarah's starting deck, I don't really have any big hitters if Viktor starts to beef up, and I was never able to pick up anything from round rewards.

The Ruination I picked up comes in an early draw and comes in handy, clearing the board. I'm in the damn trenches clutching my spiders and fighting for my life. Another Viktor comes out, I draw a second Ruination and pop it. Viktor plays a Nyandroid.

He doesn't seem to have anything else to play. With both Sarah and Elise leading the charge, I attack.

Finally, finally, after so many attempts, I was FREE. Love fucking wins. Sarah's Love Tap took out the 5/1 bot that would have killed Elise during the Guard Bots stage. These champs speedran enemies to lovers through a month of me suffering through to get my first clear. I was utterly bewildered.

So anyway thats the story of how Elise/Miss Fortune was kind of a joke and then not a joke and I have given very serious consideration as to how they could encounter one another and how that would go.

Elise Does make trips to Bilgewater btw, thanks Ruined King!

[my-own-walker]

Hi, I'm sorry to bother you but I wanted to ask you if you could write a fic or a long one-shot about Colin Zabel (I don't know if you saw Mare of Eastown).

The story line would be this: Colin asks YN out because Mare rejected him (basically the scene happened where he thought they were on a date and she just wanted to talk about the case).

YN agrees to go on the date. They start going out several times. At one point she finds out that Colin asked her out on a date out of spite (bc of the Mare thing). So she confronts him and tells him that she liked him, she gets angry because she feels he played with her feelings. And then Colin tries to fix the situation because, during the several dates, he realizes that he started to like YN.

And, if enough, make like an epilogue where they are a happy family (Colin and YN).

Too long. Sorry.

On The Other Line - Part 1

sure can! (it’s never too long, anon. much love)

warnings: spoiler alerts possible ahead for mare of easttown, mentions of violence against women, mentions of death, light sm*t/some steamy moments, some misogyny (it's really true to the area so i include it lightly)

author's note: i just so happen to know the delco area VERY well so expect me to nerd out on this one. accents, slang, food, everything will be very accurate. mare of easttown was pretty true to delco, but i can make it better. evan fucking nailed the accent, as he always does, btw.

+++

Being from Easttown meant that seeing someone new in town was a headline-worthy event.

So when Detective Colin Zabel showed up to help out with the Erin McMenamin case, everyone and their mom-moms were talking about it. Gossiping about the case and just how bad it was, considering the fact that they called in backup.

I'll admit it, I engaged in the gossip. My Uncle Nick owned the bar in town and would tell me all about what he heard about the case. He's worse than a chick, I'll tell you that.

Now I had no personal connection to the case. I knew of Erin but not enough to really be torn up about the whole thing. It was scary, yeah, being a woman in town after one was missing and another was dead, but I couldn't be bothered with tears. I didn't want to face the fact that things were getting scary.

I worked as a librarian. Something about reading called to me. It was great to escape from the disgusting world I found myself living in. One where women were being brutalized just minutes from my home. I have always been a sucker for escapism.

My Uncle Nick's bar became a landing place for me most nights. I was afraid to go back to my apartment alone. I didn't have a car so I'd have to walk. The bar was only half a mile from the library, and my apartment was 2 miles away. The bar was the better choice considering everything going on.

I'd help out serving sometimes. Other times I'd just sit behind the bar and talk to the patrons. Then my uncle would drive me home in his truck. I didn't mind helping out if it meant that I was safe.

+

It was a Thursday night. Around 10 pm. I was doing my usual routine of sitting behind the bar after work, talking to the familiar faces that always came by. At this bar, there were only regulars.

That was until I saw Colin Zabel walk through the front door.

It was like seeing a celebrity. I silently wondered if he was here to question somebody about the case. I picked up my book and began to read it, trying to send an innocent bystander vibe.

He walked over to the bar and slumped himself down on the seat nearest to me.

'Fuck.' I thought.

My Uncle Nick walked over to Colin and set down a coaster in front of him.

'Just a PBR, please?' Colin said as he looked up.

'Draft or can?' my uncle replied.

'Can, please,' Colin answered, rubbing his temple with his hand.

'PBR?' I scoffed from my seat. 'Colin Zabel. Could you fulfill the Delco trash stereotype more, please?'

'Wh-what?' he stuttered while smiling, looking up in awe at my directness.

'You couldn't pick a trashier beer,' I continued putting down my book on the bar next to him. 'Plus, if you're gonna get it, get the draft dude. It at least looks classier.' I leaned forward on the stool I was sitting on, resting my elbows on the bar in front of me and placing my chin in my hands.

'Yo, I've had a rough night, cut me some slack,' he laughed.

'Rough night or not, I'd never go into a bar for the first time and order a PBR. Complete jerkoff move, Zabel.'

'Okay, youse around here know my name and it's gettin' weird. And how do you know this is my first time in here,' he chuckled.

'Oh sorry I'm bein' rude. I'm Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. You are kinda famous around here, detective. And my uncle owns this place. I'd know if you'd been in here before,' I smirked.

As if on cue, Uncle Nick returned, reaching around me to place the can in front of Colin.

'Makin' friends, hun?' my uncle asked, patting my right shoulder.

'Only always,' I replied, smiling up at him. He walked away, shaking his head at me.

'Well, Y/N, you're very forward, huh?' he suggested as he sipped his drink.

I guess I was. The bar was sort of my domain. I talked to every patron like that. After all, everyone that was in there was either my teacher, classmate, doctor, or employer at one time. I knew everyone so I acted like it. And I knew of Colin so I felt like I could talk to him like that. Totally forgot he was a complete stranger.

'But you liked it, though,' I quipped back. He simply laughed and shook his head, casting his eyes down.

'What brings you here, anyways?' I asked.

'Closest bar to the restaurant I was just at,' he shrugged.

'Didn't get enough to drink there?' I challenged. He looked up and met my eyes. His were a deep brown. He looked sad.

'Oh, it was a trainwreck,' he sipped his drink again.

'Don't care to elaborate, hm?' I asked. He just shook his head.

'Y'know, Y/N? I'm feeling really bold right now,' Colin started, making eye contact with me again. 'Would you wanna go out sometime? Y'know what? Maybe tomorrow. Lunchtime?'

I was taken aback. 'You're pretty forward yourself, Zabel.'

'You're pretty and I feel like it would just be fun,' he continued.

'Oh, I'm just pretty?' I replied, feigning shock.

'Oh shut up,' he laughed as he pushed my forearm lightly.

+

After exchanging numbers and chatting some more he left. Over text, we agreed to meet in the park at lunchtime to talk. He'd provide the coffee, he promised.

The next day I walked to work with more pep in my step than usual. I was even singing a little when putting books back on shelves. It had been a while since I'd been on a date. He was really cute so I couldn't help but be excited.

I got to the park earlier than we'd agreed upon, but that motherfucker still beat me there. He was holding two cups of coffee and was dressed smartly in a long tweed grey coat.

'You're eager, Zabel!' I called across the park as I walked upon him.

'You're early, too, miss,' he replied, raising an eyebrow and pulling me in for a hug. When we separated he handed me one of the cups. 'Oat milk for you, my dear.'

I smiled. He remembered a passing comment I made the night before.

We started to walk, talking about everything under the sun. I tried not to ask too much about his work, with the case being so sensitive, and all. We came up on a playground. There was a blonde woman sitting on a bench nearby, obviously watching a young child.

Colin suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me closer. The gesture gave me butterflies in my stomach. Walking closer to the bench, the blonde woman looked up and waved. Colin waved back and flashed his best closed-lip smile.

"Colin, hey,' the woman said. "About la-'

'Mare, this is Y/N,' Colin drew nearer to me and kissed my cheek. I blushed heavily.

'H-hi," I started.

'Y/N, this is Mare. She used to be on the Erin McMenamin case with me,' he snipped, gesturing his hand toward her. She rolled her eyes and went back to watching the child on the playground.

'I don't have time for this today, Colin,' Mare said, dismissing us.

We walked away just a far enough distance out of her earshot before I said, 'she's a fuckin' ray of sunshine.'

'Quite a woman,' Colin replied, looking back at her, still not letting go of my hand.

+

The rest of the date went super well. So well, in fact, that I didn't stop bothering him. I texted him every day, every second I could get the chance.

He returned the energy…somewhat. He was a busy man, being on the police force after all. I didn't think too much of it.

We planned to go back out again on that Sunday for lunch.

+

'Hey, pretty,' he breathed as he took his jacket off. I beat him to the restaurant. I won, this time. He sat down in the seat across from me.

He called me pretty. My face felt hot. He seemed to really be into me. And I felt the same.

The meal was great. We continued to get to know each other and I really started catching feelings for him. I invited him back to my apartment after and he said yes.

The inside of my apartment was, I'll say it, pretty strangely decorated. I'm a lover of all things fun and odd, and my interior design choices reflected it. For example, my couch was royal purple, and I had billiard balls in a decorative bowl on my cowboy-themed coffee table. I refused to use overhead lighting so everything was lit a warm yellow and striking blue, thanks to the lights I bought off Amazon.

The best part, and my shining accomplishment, my bed was heart-shaped. So me and so weird. I think it came from a strip club. I found the frame and mattress discarded on the side of the road. Score.

I could tell Colin was shocked by the way he was looking around. He shrugged his coat off and placed it on one of the clown hooks by the door.

'I know it's weird bu-' I started.

'No, Y/N, this place is really...stellar. It has personality, for sure,' he assured me. He continued to wander around, looking at my things.

I started to feel kind of shy in my own home. Like this man was fully in my apartment and I had the fattest crush on him. If there was one thing about me, though, I wasn’t shy. I decided that the best and only way to power through it was to kiss him, so I did.

He tensed at first, not expecting the contact, but soon relaxed into it, placing his hands on my waist and pulling me into him.

I pulled away. ‘Sorry, I just- like-‘

‘No it’s okay, I liked it,’ he grinned. ‘You’re fucking cool, Y/L/N.’

‘I mean I don’t fight crime for a living but-‘ I started but was promptly cut off by Colin’s lips on mine again. Sweet kisses turned more passionate as I started to lead him to my bedroom.

I fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. He pulled my cardigan down off my shoulders. When we reached the bedroom I tugged his shirt off and threw it behind him, demonstratively. He grabbed the bottom hem of my camisole and pulled it over my head, exposing my black lace bra.

It was then that he noticed my bed.

‘No, you’re fuckin’ joking,’ he laughed, walking towards it and hopping up on it. ‘Are we about to fuck like 70s porn stars right now? A heart-shaped bed?’ His smirk was so cute.

I didn’t reply. Instead I attacked him with kisses, crawling into his lap. I felt his hard-on in his pants below me. I straddled his thighs and pushed him down gently into a laying position.

‘Y/N….fuck,’ he moaned as I peppered kisses down his chest and stomach, stopping at the waistband of his pants. I slowly unbuttoned them, making him wait for it. He helped me tug them off of his legs. I placed my hand on his cock through his underwear and waited as if to ask permission. ‘Please,’ he mustered.

I reached in and pulled it out, immediately taking him in my mouth. He muttered every curse word under the sun as I continued to blow him.

+

We spent the rest of the day in my bed. Our time was used talking, then having sex, then talking again. Repeating the cycle until I was thoroughly convinced that I was in love with him.

He left me around 10 that night and for some reason, I felt empty. Cold. It was an odd feeling considering the ecstasy I has experienced all day. I put it down to being tired.

But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

+++

Okayyyyy yay!!! That was part 1 of two in this lil series. Thanks anon again for the request. Sorry if it felt rushed in some points. I was trying not to make this thing like 400 parts. I get wordy at times. Part 2 hopefully will be here tomorrow!!