#buddy daddies head canon

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

The power of Kazuki Kurusu

Or “There you go, you’ve got me wrapped around your finger again.”

I’ll bet my 10-euros it was Kazuki who told Rei to do his hairstyle when they were all dressed to the nines on the day of Miri’s first stay at the daycare center. Technically, it was a mission, but there was no one to assasinate or such.

Kazuki: Dude, you cannot, won’t go with your hair like that. Your suit would be a waste!

Rei: Huh???

Rei is powerless when it comes to Kazuki, he’d do anything to satisfy him. Many times Rei knows that Kazuki might only be winging or faking it, or just doesn’t know everything but he still believes him. His initial resistance doesn’t work. And the only thing he can do is to give smart-arse answers, disagreeing grunts and his rare “I told you so” smirks.

The moment of finding more about your partner’s past

But in the end? It is Kazuki Kurusu who always wins.

Here’s part 2!

[mirandimoo]

alright listen i know they said kazurei romantic relationship and marriage not canon BUT this just allows me to push my kazurei queerplatonic soulmates agenda even further so who’s REALLY winning here???

[elaryssue]

Opinion and Headcanon on Rei's SO.

Although I see why people interpret Rei as Asexual, he as a forcefully closeted gay can bring more juice to the plot.

Many people pointed that Rei's conversation with his father seemed like an homophobic Father lecturing his son about how he has been living with another man for around 3 years so far, where he doesn't seems to be believe his son's lies about not making emotional bonds and who is obsessed with the heritage of his blood and family name.

It would make sense that Shigeki (being the manipulative sh*t he is) would have suspected Rei's orientation a long time ago, though being something he will never accept, the brain-washing training Rei was receiving should have been enough to erase any "unnecessary or wrong" aspect from the robotically obedient assasin he was creating.

In ep 3 we saw a bit of the abuse Rei went through, and based on how much this guy fears his father, it wasn't the only ot last time it happened.

In ep 9 it's easier to see that Rei's voice is lighter than the quite and lower tone he usually use, he may be making his voice sound more "masculine" and intimidating on purpose. During this ep we also witnessed his development to a more expressive and compromised person (beautiful indeed), though at a turtle's pase Rei is becoming more comfortable showing emotions, and having more presence?. All of them contrasting the stoic and cold mask he wears in his ON mode.

It would make sense that Rei hasn't shown any sexual or romantic desires to both genders until now. His father might have made sure those desires were well repressed (a killing machine doesn't need them), and I'm pretty sure he would have forced Rei with a "qualified partner" just to assure the Suwa bloodline continues. Though I doubt he would allow them to develop any kind of attachment to each other.

However, the development on his relationship with Kazuki is very visible, he cares about him, enjoys his and Miri's company, and I think ep 8 was a realizing point for him to understand more about his real feelings for him, as I'm pretty sure he related himself to his mentor's situation deeply). Though he may not understand his own feelings completely, he is commited to spend the rest of his life as Kazuki's partner and the father of their daughter.

[cowgurrrl]

Ok I have fluff angst idea…Charlie is pregnant and freaking out about telling Joel because she is kinda young. And Joel is mad, scared, excited , crying and also grandpa Joel?!

Hello why did this make me tear up

April, Come She Will

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author’s note: it’s canon to me that reader and Joel live to be 100 and nothing bad ever happens to them ever again

Summary: The next generation of Millers find their way [3.6k]

Warnings: teen pregnancy (what’s new for this series lmao), arguing, language, call backs

Charlie's been acting weird for the past few weeks. She's been coming in and out of the house at strange times, not showing up for patrol, and giving you vague answers about where she's been. She's nineteen now, so she doesn't necessarily need you and Joel breathing down her neck all the time, but you still like to know where your kid is. She tells you she's been with Ellie or her boyfriend, Eric, which is fine. You like Eric. You just wish she would spend a little more time at home. 

Charlie and Eric met on patrol. No matter how much you tried to dissuade her from joining the patrol team, she wouldn't listen. She had watched you guys go out and defend Jackson as she grew up and even talked to Ellie about her adventures outside the walls. She knew how to ride a horse, and Joel taught her how to handle a gun. The intention was never to "train" her for patrol but to be prepared in a worst-case situation where she needed to protect herself but the second she was old enough, she signed up. She got paired with Eric, a sweet boy her age she went to school with, for her first patrol, and that was it. They've been together ever since. 

Joel was hesitant when they started dating, but you reminded him she was an adult and could make her own decisions. Eric was somehow more hesitant when Charlie invited him over for a family dinner. Eric grew up hearing stories about your family, and his dad occasionally worked patrol with Joel, but knowing him by proxy is much different than sitting across from him at the dinner table. Joel promised to be on his best behavior, but poor Eric was terrified any time Joel asked him a question. Since then, they've gotten a little closer, but they are by no means buddies. You're a little nicer.

All this runs through your head when Eric trails behind Charlie into the house. It's a Saturday, and you and Joel are off patrol, sitting next to each other on the couch. You were supposed to go see Ellie and Dina, but they rescheduled for next weekend without much explanation as to why. JJ might've gotten in trouble. At seventeen, he has more of Ellie's wild personality than anything else. It's a little fun to watch her try to handle a younger version of herself. 

"Hey, can we talk?" Charlie asks, a slight tremble in her voice. You look up from your book, and Joel leans forward to drop his wood carving knife on the coffee table. She and Eric sit across from you, her leg bouncing anxiously when she does, and you glance between them. You're a little confused as to why Eric has to be here for this, but she's clinging to his hand so hard you almost worry she's gonna break it. Worry claws at the back of your throat, but you swallow it down. Whatever it is, you can handle it.

"Sure, bug," you say. "What's up?" 

"Um, so there's something I've been meaning to tell you, but I wanted to get some things squared away before I did because I didn't want you guys to freak out or anything. I understand this is a really big deal, but it's under control, and we have a plan." She explains rapidly, and Joel chuckles as he removes his glasses to rub at his eye.

"You ain't pregnant, are you?" He asks, and Charlie is silent. That's when you feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. Your mouth goes dry, and you sit up, staring at her like you're waiting for her to say she's joking. "Charlotte," Joel says, his tone even and scarily calm. "You're not. Right?"

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she says, tears shining in her eyes. "But we… we have a plan. We're gonna get set up in a house, and Ellie's gonna lend us some of JJ's old things, and we're gonna pick up some more shifts before the baby comes. It's all gonna be okay."

You can't help but feel like you set her up for failure, not only with your own teen pregnancy but with your inability to keep her safe. In the old days, you might've been able to put her on birth control or give her condoms when she started dating, but those things aren't on the top of the list for what little FEDRA manufacturing is left. The best "safe sex" talk you could have with her is letting her know her options if she did get pregnant or sick. You hated it, but there wasn't much else you could do. And now look where you are. 

"Mom, can you please say something?" Charlie begs as Eric rubs her back. You thought you'd be prepared for something like this with your and Joel's (and Ellie's) family life starting earlier than most. Instead, you find yourself, possibly for the first time ever, sympathizing with your mother. You pull yourself together enough to open your mouth. 

"You wanna have this baby?" You ask, and she nods. 

"We already decided. We're not gonna get married or anything yet, but yeah, we want this baby," she says. Eric doesn't say anything. You figure that's probably smart. It's only a matter of time before Joel freaks the fuck out about the fact that he got your baby girl pregnant. "That's why I went to Ellie's the other day. I was talking to her, Aunt Dina, and Uncle Jesse about when they had Jay." She says. You try not to be offended that she told Ellie before she told you. You told lots of people before you told your mom you were pregnant. Still, you thought you and Charlie were closer than you and your mom were. 

You look at Joel, the same panic and anger taking over his features, and take a deep breath. He grinds his teeth as he thinks, and you have to stop yourself from scolding him. When you look back at Charlie, her face is splotchy, and her brown eyes sparkle in the mid-afternoon light. She looks so grown up but so little at the same time. Your eyes slide from hers to Eric's wide ones.

"I'm assuming you know the stories about Jane and her dad?" You ask.

"Yes, ma'am." He croaks, and you nod.

"And I'm assuming you know how Joel and I got to Jackson in the first place?" 

"Mom," Charlie starts, but you catch Joel shaking his head at her in your peripheral vision. Eric swallows thickly and nods.

"Yes, ma'am." 

"Good," you say. "If I ever hear anything about you not being there for Charlie or that baby, or if you even think about leaving them, I'll fucking kill you." You haven't had to speak this way in years, and it, obviously, rattles both Charlie and Eric. Good. You hope it does rattle him. 

"Mom!" Charlie scolds, looking to Joel for help, but it's clear that he has your back with this one. You'll be damned if she ends up a single parent like you two were. She scoffs and stands, pulling Eric up with her. "You don't have to listen to this, Eric."

"Yes, he does." You say.

"Baby, what did you think we were gonna say?" Joel asks. 

"That you'd support my decision or, at least, find a way to!" 

"Of course, we support you. I just..." Joel trails off. "I just don't think you know what this means. How much this is gonna change your life. And I know you love each other, but havin' a baby ain't an easy thing."

"That's why we're doing it together," she says, her eyes moving from Joel's to yours. "That's why it's fucking crazy to talk to him like that. And unfair. You didn't act this way when Ellie had JJ." 

"That's because we didn't need to have this same talk with them. Jesse and Dina had already decided to co-parent Jay. There was no way Dina was gonna be a single mom," you say. "But there were three of them, and it was still hard. You were just a baby when he was born, so you don't remember, but it was a lot."

"So, you don't think I can be a mom?" She asks, and you stand with your hands up in defeat.

"I didn't say that. I just want you to be prepared. I remember what it was like, and I-"

"Just because you were miserable when you had Jane doesn't mean everyone is." It's mean and calculated and hits you right where it hurts. It doesn't matter if it's the hormones or not. The sting of her words renders you silent. 

"Don't you speak to your mother that way!" Joel yells. He never yells anymore, especially at Charlie. The scary boom in his voice fills the room, but you catch the glint of tears in his eyes as his breathing stutters. "This ain't just playin' house, Charlie. So, if your mama is a little worried, she's allowed to be. Shit, we're all allowed to lose our fuckin' minds for a minute, but that isn't an excuse to talk bout your family like that." He says, and she taps her shoe on the ground twice, a nervous tick she picked up from Joel.

"I'm sorry, Mom, but I can't just sit here and listen to you threaten Eric like that," she says. You nod but don't apologize. You can't find anything to say. Charlie stares at you like she's waiting for you to lash out or yell at her, but you can't. She wipes a stray tear away furiously and turns away. "I need some air," she mumbles, dragging Eric out of the house before you can even protest. The door slams behind her, and the floorboards she took her first steps on shake with the force. Joel reaches for your hand and pulls you into him. He murmurs soft assurances into your hair, his voice cracking and tears spilling from his eyes as he does, and all you can do is let him hold you. 

What the fuck else are you supposed to do?

You wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of the bathroom door in the hall slamming open. You and Joel jolt upright in bed at the sudden sound (old habits die hard, right?), and you sigh as you rub your eyes. You check the alarm clock next to your bed for the time and see it's close to three. The dark mountain town is still asleep outside your window, and you grab a soft flannel from the floor to pull over your shoulders. 

You don't remember falling asleep. You were up, waiting for Charlie to come home so you could talk further, but when the front door opened and closed, and she basically sprinted to her room, you couldn't find the energy for another fight. But when you laid down, you couldn't sleep either, your conversation from earlier playing on a loop in your mind. You and Joel just sat there in silence, staring up at the ceiling until your eyelids got too heavy, and you fell into a dreamless sleep. You couldn't have been asleep for over an hour or two when the bathroom door swung open. Joel looks at you, confused when you stand.

"What are you doin'?" He asks, and you wave him off.

"I know why she's up. Just go back to bed." You say without much explanation before padding down the hallway and into the bathroom.

Your footsteps are loud enough on the tile for her to hear you, so she doesn't flinch when you suddenly pull her hair away from her face and hold it out of the way. She glances at you and softens a little before retching into the toilet again. She does that for another minute or two before her stomach is finally empty, and you can safely let go of her hair. She sighs and leans against the wall as you flush the toilet and hand her a towel. You settle across from her, your back pressed against the sink, and rub her leg as she wipes her face. 

"Thanks," she mumbles as she tips her head back against the wall. She looks tired and weak. All you want to do is scoop her up in your arms like she's three years old again. "I feel like shit."

"I'm sorry. That's my genetics. I was super sick with you and Jane." Her name rolls off your tongue so fast you almost forget the last time it was invoked. The air stiffens between you, and she shifts uncomfortably. 

"How long were you sick for?" She asks softly. You sigh as you track your memory back and try to remember the exact details.  

"About six months," you admit, and she groans. You laugh a little at her reaction, but only because you know how frustrating it is. If you could take it from her, you would. When you settle, she stares at you guiltily and starts picking at the nail bed around her thumb like she can't stand the silence. "Where did you guys go?" you ask to put her out of her misery.

"I just… needed to get out of the house. We walked around town for a while before going to his parent's house," she says. "They still don't know. We wanted to tell y'all first." You nod, unable to give words to your gratitude just yet, and she swallows thickly.  

"You could've stayed," you whisper. "I wanted you to stay."

"I know," she says. "I'm sorry. For everything." She looks like she could start crying again, so you take a deep breath, scoot over to her, wrap her in your arms, and kiss her temple. You feel her relax into you, and a weight is lifted off your shoulders.

"You know your dad and I worry about you. It's not about you not being capable or not smart enough because you are plenty capable and smart. But we also know that it doesn't matter how prepared you think you are. There's nothing that can prepare you for being a parent, and that's not me trying to scare you. It's just how it is." You explain, and she nods into your neck. 

"That's what Ellie said, too." She says. 

"Smart kid." 

"I feel like I fucked up," she pivots dramatically, but you hold on tightly and wait for her to continue. I'm right here with you, baby girl, you think. "I want to be happy because Eric seems happy, and you're supposed to be happy when you find out you're pregnant, but I'm so fucking scared." She sounds like she's on the brink of tears again, and you shush her. She sighs heavily and wipes at her face as she leans back enough to see you. "Were you scared when you found out you were pregnant?"

"Both times, I was fucking terrified. With you, it came later, though. Even though your dad and I talked about having another kid and how amazing you'd end up being, I remember going into labor and shaking cause of how scared I was." You say, and she nods. 

"How did you... know you were supposed to be a mom? She asks. It's a loaded question. How does anyone ever know they're "supposed" to be a parent? You certainly didn't think you were meant for anything that important at sixteen, but you do remember why you made the decision you did. 

"I, um…" you trail off, laughing. "I started having these dreams after I found out I was pregnant."

"Dreams?" 

"It was pretty much the same thing over and over again for a few months. I would be going through my regular routine, but this… baby was following me around. I couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl, but I knew it was my baby. And it came with me to school, the grocery store, work, everything, and as time passed in my dream, the bigger the baby got. They'd get more personality or start laughing, or their eyes would change colors, and I'd be so in love with them," You know you sound crazy, but that's because it was crazy. "The first few times, I woke up crying because the baby from my dreams wasn't there. I thought there was nothing worse than waking up in the morning and not having my kid there," you say. The weight of your words catches up with you, and you have to bite your bottom lip to keep from crying. "And I was right." You shake your head and take a deep breath, hyper-aware of her eyes on you.

"I had the same dreams when I got pregnant with you, except they were a little different. In all of them, you were always with Ellie and Dad— every single time. I thought you were gonna grow up and not like me as much or whatever other reason my hormones gave me for the change, but, towards the end, you started showing up alone. You were just this little light. I can't describe it exactly, but everything I did in the dream was a little more magical because you were there. Things were shiny or glittery, and you would just giggle and giggle and giggle," you say, smiling at the memory. You grab her hand and squeeze hard, looking directly into her eyes and fighting more tears. "You turned my world technicolor even before you were born, and I knew I would always do everything I could to protect you. That's why I was so hard on Eric. I know he's a good kid and nothing like Jane's dad was, but I don't want you to end up like me, kid." Charlie squeezes your hand, somehow harder than you squeeze her, and a familiar crease appears between her eyebrows.

"Mommy, if I'm half the woman you are, I'd be so fucking happy. Are you kidding me?" She says. 

"Charlotte-" 

"I'm serious," she cuts you off, Joel's commanding yet gentle tone seeping into her voice. "Mom, you made my lunch until I was in high school, and even when I asked you to stop, you still had one ready to go just in case I needed it. You used to take JJ and me to the park so Ellie and Aunt Dina could get some sleep, even though everyone knew that meant you didn't get any. You convinced Dad to talk to Eric because you knew I loved him and wanted him to like him..." She slows down a little bit, scanning your face before she continues. "You kept a kid alive during the Outbreak despite everything. You still buy her flowers on her birthday. You tell me about her. You let me know her," you take a shaky breath, and you can't stop the tears anymore. "You're a good mom, and I'm so lucky to have you, and I'm sorry for what I said and for getting pregnant and-" 

This time, you stop her by hugging her tight and letting yourself cry. She gets emotional, too, and a very unlucky Joel finds the two of you crying on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night. Like everything, he takes it in stride and joins you two on the floor until the sun breaches over the mountains and a new day shines down. 

It's hard to say things got easier after that day. Eric's parents didn't react very positively at first, and it took them most of her pregnancy to come around. Charlie goes through weeks of sickness and bed rest. They argue a lot about the future and what it should look like, but they get there in the end. The next year, the house is filled with a familiar chatter and chaos. Charlie and Eric's twins (which explains why she felt so bad), Elliot "Ellie" Beth, and April Theresa Miller-Donovan, squeal as Joel takes turns dancing with them in the living room.

Elliot is, obviously, named in honor of your Ellie, but she bears Sarah's middle name. April threw you for a loop. The twins were born in snowy January, confusing you as to why they would name her that and not January, but Charlie smiled as she handed April to you. "Jane's birthday is April 7th. I didn't want to steal your name, but I remember you taking me to the meadow to pick flowers for her. April 7th was always my favorite day." She explained, making you choke up. When she told you April's middle name, you and Joel completely lost it. Theresa, for your Tess, the woman who believed so much in Ellie, she forced you to believe in her, too. The woman who saved your life in more ways than one. The woman who would've absolutely adored Charlie if she ever met her. 

You love being grandparents again— admittedly, a little older than you were the first time around. Joel teaches the girls Spanish words and lets them pull on his beard. You make extra food so your baby has something to eat after the long days and nights of keeping them alive, and you play silly games with them. They don't look like you or Joel or even Charlie or Eric. They look like their own little people. People who will never know the loss, destruction, and nights spent staring hopelessly at walls you went through. People who will grow up safe and loved and cared for. People who carry names they won't be able to put a face to. 

That's okay. They don't need to know about the people you were before you were their grandparents, and maybe it's time for you to try to let that time go. Maybe, in your and Joel's old age, with the deep wrinkles and graying hair, you can just be. Maybe you can just dance in the living room and make warm blankets and fall asleep holding hands. Maybe everything does turn out okay.

[dinogoofy]

I have to ask, what are your thoughts or head canons on Daddy Reiko?? 👀👀 For scientific research

Ohhh buddy, do I have some thoughtsss.

As always, NSFW unde the cut, minors do not interact!

TW! Reiko needs a tw for being himself LMAO. Dom/sub described. Brothel mentioned. Pegging mentioned.

Reiko Headcannons

SFW

At first I couldn't see this man wanting any steady relationship or situationship. He just seems like the type to hop on into a brothel and handle whatever intimacy needs he has. Also he felt like the type to see relationships as purely sexual.

But then again, have you seen how loyal this man is??? It might take him a while to settle into a relationship, but once you're his he's never letting go.

The type to complain about you being clingy and then refuse to let you get out of bed in the morning. He brags about how you can't function without him and that you're so devoted to being by his side, but really, it's the exact opposite.

He's extremely jealous and tends to scare off assholes that try to flirt with you, but once you're alone together afterwords he's just grumpy and pouty. He won't admit that he needs kisses and reassurance, but again, once you start to hold him, kiss him and tell him you're his, he relaxes and there's no escape for you.

My favorite idea of a relationship with him is where he has a really soft s/o that loves to sew and garden and bake, but is actually badass, and it makes him flustered.

NSFW

Man is rough and fast. Like seriously dude, please slow down!!

Definitely eager, but more for his own pleasure. He's not a very attentive lover, but I don't think he'd keep going if he knew he was hurting you in a bad way.

Definitely prefers receiving rather than giving, but he does crave to have his head in between your thighs sometimes.

He's definitely only down for being dominant when you first start the relationship, but honesty?? Let's say you're also a dominant person who doesn't back down easy. I think if you're really forward and blunt when it comes to the act you'd gain the upper hand by flustering him.

A grunter, but if you can break down his walls and you're on top, he tends to whine and moan very softly. It makes him embarrassed and he'll get annoyed if you point it out, but once he's lost in pleasure he lets out the sweetest noises.

Demands kisses and cuddles after the act. Will fall asleep before aftercare, so you'll have to take care of that yourself, but he does enjoy bathing with you the morning after.

Will refuse if you ask to peg him due to his toxic manliness. But secretly, he would enjoy it.

[deanstead]

Bad Feeling

Pairing: Matt Casey x Reader

Requested: yes by anon

Summary: Matt gets an uneasy feeling, which intensifies when he spots Y/N's car at the scene of a multi-vehicle accident.

Square Filled: Hurt/Comfort for #resa.3kfiestabingo

Word Count: 1,324

Warnings: canon-typical mentions of car accidents, injuries

A/N: Some hurt/comfort that has been sitting in my drafts for too long! Also, I'm gonna start tagging my oc (child) characters!

MATT CASEY MASTERLIST

Matt glanced at his phone, the lack of response to his message concerning him just a little. "Get a grip, Matt, maybe she’s driving.” He muttered at himself, just as the bells went off.

All units, Multi-vehicle accident.

With no other time to let his mind wander, Matt hurried towards the truck, nodding at Stella as the sirens sounded and the trucks hurried towards the address that dispatch had given them. But it wasn’t until Stella pulled the truck over at a distance away from the crash that Matt felt an irrational bad feeling blossom in his chest.

Matt pushed the feeling aside as he got out of the truck, wondering what the hell was wrong with him today. But he didn’t have long to be distracted as they immediately got to work.

He’d just sent most of them off in pairs when he spotted it - the flash of color, the partial license plate that sent his heart down to his stomach, the realization that the bad feeling was no longer irrational, while there was a crashing in his ears.

Stella spotted the car almost at the same time that Matt did, her head swiveling back to look at her Captain, but Matt was already on the move, gripping the tool he had in his hand tighter as he avoided people and vehicles alike, before he got there.

“Y/N!”

The car was lying on its side and Matt got on his knees to peer in, his heart thumping hard against his chest even though he’d done this a million times before.

“Alex?”

His four year old blinked back at him, looking alert and Matt’s eyes left Alex just for a second to glance at where you were motionless in the driver's seat up front.

“Hey buddy, you okay?” Matt said, peering in at his son.

“Daddy?”

Matt nodded back at Alex. “Listen, I need you to stay still alright?”

“You get me?” Alex asked, although he didn’t move as his father had instructed, continuing to lie on his stomach.

“Yes, I’m coming to get you, alright? Does anything hurt?"

Alex shook his head slowly and Matt nodded again. “Will you be a brave boy?”

He nodded quietly and Matt turned his attention towards you with a nod at Kelly.

Matt could hear Kelly talking to Alex, so he headed towards the front of the car. “Y/N, can you hear me?”

Matt glanced at Sylvie when you didn’t respond, the unease written all over his face.

“Casey, we got this.” Stella assured him, as the rest of the team worked even faster now, the loud sounds of their tools seeming to overwhelm the sounds of the other truck sirens that were coming to help.

As Cruz pulled off the back door, Kelly reached in for Alex, who was more than happy to wriggle his way towards his favorite uncle.

Kelly pulled Alex into his arms, his eyes raking the little boy for any sign of injuries before Violet reached them to check him out, Violet then bringing Alex straight to Matt.

“Hey buddy.” Matt said, keeping his voice low even as his eyes darted towards where Stella and Mouch were working on getting you out.

Matt felt the fear spread throughout his body even as he propped Alex into his arms. “He just has a few scratches and he’s fine but we should still go to Med.” Violet told Matt, as if she knew he needed a distraction.

Matt smiled. “Thanks, Violet.”

He offered Alex a reassuring smile, turning his body at an angle so that Alex couldn’t see them lift you out of the car.

Stella looked up with a small shake of her head.

You still weren’t responsive.

“Matt, you can come with us. We should get Alex checked out too.” Sylvie said. With a silent nod from Boden, Matt climbed in after you, reaching forward for your hand quietly, Alex sitting in his lap.

The hardest part for Matt was juggling a toddler and being worried for you, like Matt had to choose between being a father or a husband, when he was both.

You’d been wheeled straight into a treatment room with Connor and Ethan assuring that you were in good hands, while Maggie directed him into a room with Dylan.

“Hey. I’m Dylan. You must be Alex.”

Alex glanced up at Matt who gave him an encouraging nod and Alex smiled back at Dylan.

As Dylan spoke to Alex and checked him out, Matt found his eyes wandering towards the treatment you were in, the hurried movements from across the ED not comforting at all. But he couldn’t leave his son here to go check on you.

“Case.”

Matt heard his best friend’s voice first before he registered his presence.

“Why don’t you go check on her?” Kelly said, reading his thoughts immediately, recalling the time Stella had been brought in. “Alex and I can hang out. What do you say?”

“Yeah!” Alex’s excitement when it came to Kelly had never come more in handy.

“Thanks, Sev.” Matt said, Kelly patting him on the shoulder.

Before he left, Matt pressed a quick kiss on his son's head. "I'll be right back." But Alex didn't seem too bothered, distracted by Kelly and Dylan.

Matt hurried across the ED, just as Connor came out from the treatment room. “Casey, good. I need to bring her up to surgery, alright? There’s some broken bones and she’s bleeding internally. I need to go in and stop the bleeding. Can I do that?”

Matt nodded quickly. “Whatever you have to do, Connor. I…”

Connor nodded back. “Casey, I got her.”

Matt leaned over to give your hand a squeeze, even though you still didn’t seem to be conscious. “Alex and I will be right here, baby.” He whispered, before they quickly wheeled you off.

When you become conscious of your surroundings once again, you were confused at first. Your vision swam for a bit before the ceiling became clearer and your brain registered the smell that could mean you were only in one place - the hospital.

“Y/N?”

You blinked, angling your head to the side as Matt shot out of the chair he was in. You could feel the warmth of his hand and you smiled, your fingers closing around his until the memory of how you got here hit you like it had just happened.

You exhaled sharply and Matt stiffened, frowning.

“Alex. Matt, Alex he… he was in the backseat. He…”

“Shh.” Matt squeezed your hand tighter. “It’s okay. Alex is fine, alright? Kelly just brought him out to get a snack. But he’s fine. Dr Scott looked him over. He had a few scratches but that was it. Breathe.”

Relief flooded your system now as your body relaxed, only the pain left throbbing through your system.

But at least Alex was safe. That was something.

Matt sighed, his hand going to the top of your head as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Thank god.” He whispered.

The whisper brought with it the unease and fear he’d been holding on to ever since he’d spotted your car lying on its side in the middle of the road.

“Sorry.” You whispered back, as Matt looked back down at you, as if he was afraid to take his eyes off you.

Matt shook his head with a small smile. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

He looked like he wanted to say something more before he was interrupted by Kelly and Alex coming back in. “Mama!”

You smiled, as Matt took Alex from Kelly’s arms.

“Hey you.” Kelly said, leaning in for a gentle hug.

“Thanks Uncle Kelly.” You answered, smiling as Kelly gave you an affectionate tap.

Matt lowered Alex onto your bed where he gently cuddled into your side and Matt just smiled, before he leaned in to put the both of you into his embrace.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

If you want to support me, buy me a coffee!

[12boogaloo]

Okay, I cant take it anymore. The brain rot is REAL

Been on a writing hiatus since 2019 or 2020 (I honestly don’t remember so don’t @ me)

And what gets me to finally start writing again?

You guessed it ladies, gents, and serpents!

Fucking TROLLS 3

Let’s get this bread or die trying y’all 😈

~•~

So first things first: I didn’t come up with the AU’s I’m using here! They were created by TheMiraculousMat and Keebsification on here and AO3

The AU’s in question are The Eldest and The Youngest and Out The Train Wreck

I just love it when people see John Dory and think “hmmm yes this grown man can fit so much eldest daughter energy in him” cuz SAME

So I thought: what if I just… put em together? OTT! JD and E&Y! JD have a grip on my soul and I’m filling a formal complaint in the form of fanfiction for not just 1, but 2 other pieces of fanfiction!!! Cuz why not

I’m gonna post the notes I’ve had about this idea for the past 2 week, at least the first part.

Well… it’s half notes, half chapter really…

Maybe. MAYBE. I’ll clean it up and post it on AO3. Maybe… probably lets be real

Anyway. Y’all can call me Boog and this is Project: Hyperfixation Won

Actual story name pending…

~•~

Part 1: Author’s Actual Notes because they are a nerd

Got an idea

Gonna scratch the itch

Half brain rot dump and half story here

Combination of the Eldest and Youngest JD and the Train Wreck JD

I also head canon that trolls have tails and claws and fangs

They’re lil creatures

Basically the same stuff happens in TW with the manager and John being Branch’s father.

Branch grows up knowing JD is his dad while everyone else thinks they’re brothers.

He and Luka are dating. He’s basically Branch’s other dad.

Luka gets taken and John thinks he died. He keeps his glove to remember him.

The fight still happens. John still leaves but promises Branch that he’ll come back.

He goes to the Neverglades for the next four years.

When he gets a letter about Rosiepuff and Branch he immediately heads back to the tree to take care of him.

Pretty much all of E&Y happens but with the change of Branch knowing JD is his dad.

Makes the trauma of him leaving worse in a way which adds to the angst of the first parts delicious, but it also makes their bond really solid later on.

John forgot that everyone in the village knew them as brothers until Poppy asks him if John is Branch’s daddy out of the blue. He panics and says “no” on instinct and they both decide to just go with it. Easier than explaining it to everyone.

She still doesn’t know. Nobody does.

John still loses his arm trying to save Creek(nasty ass).

One morbid silver lining John felt was that at least it wasn’t the hand he wore Luka’s glove on. Small miracles. Lol I’m sorry

Branch doesn’t remember Luka anymore, at least not really. He sorta remembers a burgundy haired troll that he thought was important but couldn’t remember anything else about them so he didn’t think too much about it.

John doesn’t really like talking about him and Branch hasn’t ever asked so he doesn’t bring it up.

He starts dating Hickory and he does tell him about Luka. He admits that while he definitely is falling for Hickory, a part of him will always belong to Luka and their relationship will always be really important to him.

Hickory is more than okay with that and even tells him that he would’ve loved to have met the man that made his sweetheart so happy and kept him safe before it was his turn. (John just about cried when he said that same buddy and agreed that they’d probably get along pretty well.)(He shows Hickory pictures of him and Luka one day and they laugh over the fact that John clearly has a type.)(And, based on Hickory’s own light blush, same.)(He immediately said Luka was ‘real cute’ and John still laughs at him for it.)

He also tells him about Bold and how Branch came to be. (Hickory spent solid hours comforting him afterwards and spent an equal amount of time thinking of ways he could get Dickory to help him torture the bastard if he ever saw him.)(He decides in that moment that he’d do anything to protect his boyfriend and his son. Anything.) (He’s also even more grateful to Luka when he hears about how he protected his love the day they met. He really wishes he could thank him…)

Branch makes jokes about not calling Hickory his stepdad till they get married, which makes John flush bright blue. (Hickory just laughs and winks, the traitor.)(Hickory secretly really wants Branch to call him ‘Pops’ and he’s so obvious about it.)(Branch finds it hilarious and doesn’t on purpose. He’d actually love to call him that, he’s just being an ass.)(You’d think he wouldn’t ever want to but no. For some reason, it’s only thinking of Hickory as ‘Papa’ specifically that makes him feel wrong. Like that’s not available to him. I wonder why.)

After saving Floyd, the boys all start spending more time together as a family. Floyd and Clay move into the bunker with John and Branch. Bruce still lives on Vacay Island but he tries to visit at least once a week, even bringing his wife and kids with him if he can.

They still love doing shows together and will do a big one every two weeks at least.

A few months later, they’re getting ready to hangout together after a performance in PopVillage. Hickory isn’t with them, he was actually watching with Tiny in the crowd, so he can’t see them.(Lil dude is really attached to his “Uncle Cowboy” and “Uncle Johnny” it’s adorable.)(And yes Guy is close by, Tiny is still very very grounded.)

Poppy wants to introduce them to a former stage manager that she’s worked with before that had come to see the show from TrollCity. Branch has met him once before and thought the guy was weird and a little creepy but nothing else made him feel suspicious so he kinda just ignored it. He figured if Poppy trusted him, it was fine. (Obviously he still kept an eye on the old bastard, cause your boy isn’t paranoid for nothing. And you never know.)

They all agree to meet and when they get backstage… it’s him.

Bold.

The bros old manager. The man who hurt their eldest unimaginably.

JD basically shuts down as his younger brothers immediately shield him from view.

They need to get out of here without causing a scene. Fast.

“Poppy, I think we need to go…” Floyd mumbles, his usually soft features twisting in both anger and slight fear as he stared the old troll down.

Poppy looks at them in confusion, “Wha- but you guys said you wanted to see everything we set up!!” She looks between the brothers and the older manager, Branch joining her as his eyebrows furrowed.

“Sorry, kids, I don’t think we can do that…” Bruce doesn’t take his eyes off of the old man as he steps back, closer to Clay and Floyd who were holding John Dory’s arms and hands to keep him steady in their safety bubble, their tails wrapped around his waist. “Not when he’s here.”

Poppy blinks in confusion. “What do you mean? Have you met Mr. Bold before?” She asks.

The old bastard chuckles. “Don’t worry, Miss Poppy.” Poppy huffs a bit at being called ‘miss’. (She’s Queen, dammit. Only Hickory calls her ‘miss’ and it’s always as a joke.) “I was the boys’ manager back in the day! It’s just been a while since we’ve seen each other.” He looks over each brother, clearly trying to get a look at John Dory and noticeably souring when he’s blocked. Then he smirks, taking a few steps closer, his wooden cane thunking against the floor. John flinches with each tap, tap, tap. “You’ve all grown up so much.”

Bruce holds his ground, crossing his arms and rolling his shoulders, his bigger body blocking most of JD from view. Clay was growling behind him, both him and Floyd curling closer to John and their ears pressed back in irritation. Bruce gives a humorless chuckle. “Heh. Yeah, we’ve grown up, Bold. We grew up and you’re fucking old now.”

Poppy gasps. “B-Bruce, that’s not nice!” She turns to Bold and smiles nervously. “I’m so sorry-“

The man waves her off. “Don’t fret. I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it. He’s right after all.” He looks at them again all smugly, leaning on his cane. “Like I said, it’s been a long time.”

Floyd scoffs. “Not long enough.” He growls, baring his teeth. His claws start coming out and he’s thankful he’s holding John’s prosthetic arm as he feels them scratch the metal.

“Woah, okay, what the hell is up with you guys?” Branch finally steps in. That was so unlike Floyd to say something like that. He’s never seen the older troll that angry before, he’s never seen any of his uncles that angry before.

Bruce huffs. “What’s up is that we’re leaving. Now.” He goes to turn around to start steering his brothers out of the room when he hears Bold chuckle, making them all freeze.

“You all really have changed so much,” He says, his tail swaying side-to-side behind him. John looks up and they manage to lock eyes, Bold smiling sickly as John stares in horror. “Especially you, Johnny Baby.”

John feels sick. He feels like he’s gonna pass out. He feels his legs start giving out as Clay and Floyd rush to hold him up. He feels his body going completely limp and his vision blurs and his chest hurts and he can’t breATHE-

Bruce tackles the old troll, immediately landing brutal hits to the bastards face. He screams between punches, “DON’T TALK TO MY BROTHER!” Bold tries to hit him back, only managing to smack Bruce in the side once with his cane before continuing to get pummeled.

Branch and Poppy jump in frantically to pull him off of the man and the three of them stumble back. Bruce shoves them off and glares at Bold again. He was lying on the ground, groaning and clutching his nose, there were scratches and bruises on his face and he was covered in his own glittery copper blood. “Stay. The FUCK. Away. From John.” Bruce pants and shakes out his hands, flexing his exposed claws. He spits on the ground. “Bastard.” He turns back to his brothers. “Cmon, let’s get out of here.” He lifts JD up bridal style and Clay and Floyd follow him as he starts rushing to the door.

“Wait, hold on!” Branch runs after them, leaving Poppy standing in confused horror at what just happened.

~•~

That’s what I’ll give for now lol

I have like wayyy more written out but I’m mean so 😈

Anyway

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

Lmk what y’all think ig

Check out the folks that created these AU’s plz @matmiraculous and Keebsification (idk their tumblr so plz don’t yell at me) both on AO3 where I found them

Later yall

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, round one of the major bracket

Propaganda:

For Kid and Killer:

there’s some somewhat recent anime episodes where there’s a lot of “I would do anything for you” “I would put my life on the line for you” and it’s just. There’s no way they’re not dating. Also they’re big scary pirates that pillage and fuck stuff up and we love that for them

They have been together committing crimes and killing people ever since childhood and they’re not about to stop any time soon

They are badass pirates who both have a huge bounty on their head. Killer's epithet is 'Massacre Soldier/Murder Mashine' (depending on the translation), so he probably got quite some blood on his hands. Kid is his captain, and has a reputation of not caring about civilian casualties and destroying more than necessary to defeat his opponent. Also, the whole crew crusified some other crew. But besides being murderous, these two care so fucking much about each other! They've been friends (lovers?) since childhood and would literally do anything for each other, including dying. Kid will destroy anyone who laughs at his partner (how he canonically calls Killer), lets himself be recaptured just after he escaped prison to save his partner, and Killer eats a faulty SMILE fruit that stops him from portraying any other emotion than laughing, makes him unable to swim, and doesn't gain him any powers, just to get a CHANCE to save his captain. When Kid saw him laugh while he obviously didn't want to, it broke his heart in many pieces (and ours with it). It's true love, your honor. True, murderous love.

For Kazuki and Rei:

they're essentially contract killers. rei comes from a long line of assassins and kazuki fell into the profession by circumstance. they're 'best friends' who live together and work on their hitman cases together. they're on one of these cases when they find themselves in an accidental baby acquisition situation and suddenly unasaka miri, aged 4, is their daughter. now all that's left is for them to forge a bunch of documents to get miri into daycare! they desperately juggle being fathers and assassins until eventually they realise they'd rather run a diner, and they live happily ever after with their daughter.

They're hitmen. They share an apartment. They end up raising a kid together (after killing her dad). They try to give that kid a normal life, but are terrible at it in complimentary ways.

Assassin partners who end up adopting a child.

[drizzledrawings]

So what's the complete story so far with your two little lesbian girlbosses. Like how they met, how their relationship formed. Did they hate each other because of nationality? Are they on the run from something? Ect

Cowbians lore:

Mattie (strawberry blonde) is two years older than flora (brunette)

They met when they were both trying to steal from the same guy, mattie failed and flora pulled it off

Mattie went off to drink away her sorrows only to get into a big bar fight, and who saves her ass? Flora

Mattie is in pretty rough shape after that so Flora offers her some assistance (tense wound care,, so much tension)

They kinda fall into working with each other because of that night

Though they don’t become anything more than business partners until later

They pull of a few cons together, mattie doing the conning and flora doing the stealing, they become a pretty well oiled machine

They function like that for a few months before they run into some trouble

They get caught stealing on a longer con, as they make their get away Flora gets lassoed off her horse, mattie with no other option flees or else she’d get caught too

While flora sits in the jail cell crushed that mattie would just leave her, mattie is frantically trying to find a way to get her out

She breaks her out in the middle of the night, silently creeping around and getting the cell keys like flora had been teaching her to

After that they both kinda realize that they mean more to each other than just partners

They grow closer and closer until one night, they just come together like they’ve always been like that

How they fit into the rdr2 canon is kinda iffy cause I mostly just do what I want with them but the basic idea is: Hosea catches them in the act of pulling off a con and gives them his expert advice and with him they succeed

He brings them back to camp but they aren’t permanent at all, more like Trelawny. mattie also has an anti authority mindset (thanks to her daddy issues) so they aren’t as loyal to Dutch’s grand plans as the actual gang are, though flora really does like all of them. The two of them are more like buddies that sometimes team up to pull off jobs

And yes they are on the run, they both have hefty prices on their heads (Mattie’s is higher) so they’re always moving

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | October 30th-November 5th 2023

I really need to get back into the habit of making these every Sunday! But at least this time I didn't skip a week! :P

Complete

stickwitu. by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Canon Divergent, PWP | 38K | Explicit): “Did you just call me daddy?" Or: Three times Buck fights his daddy kink + the one time it slips out anyway. (sequel to 🔥 stupid people.)

mona lisa by roseapothecarys/ @gaylicense (PWP | 5K | Explicit): or: eddie makes buck's dreams come true

hits like ecstasy by roseapothecarys / @gaylicense (PWP, Getting Together | 4K | Explicit): or: eddie starts complimenting buck...a lot. surely he has no ulterior motive.

this time between by roseapothecarys / @gaylicense (Getting Together | 3K | Explicit): or: buck and eddie get trapped in an elevator

tender we fall by roseapothecarys/ @gaylicense (Post-Shooting | 4K | Teen): Or: Buck starts telling Eddie he loves him. Like, all the time.

one hundred ninety seven seconds by roseapothecarys/ @gaylicense (Post-Coma | 2K | Teen): Eddie is finding increasingly convoluted excuses to be in the kitchen late at night. or: in the aftermath of the lightning strike, eddie copes.

what if one of these days i go and change your name by Iover_of_mine (I_almost_do) / @lover-of-mine (Post-S6, Established Buddie | 2K | General): Buck runs into a fire while off-duty, Eddie gives him his turnout once the 118 responds, then proceeded to spiral about how he wants to marry Buck.

kiss and make up by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (Getting Together | 3K | Explicit): Instead of being soft and sweet or adrenaline fueled and filled with love and thanks that they're both alive, their first kiss comes in the middle of a fight in Eddie’s living room.

blackout by rainbow_nerds/ @rainbow-nerdss (Getting Together | 3K | Explicit): Buck wakes up hungover on Eddie's couch, with no memory of the night before. Eddie's at just as much of a loss as he is, but their friends seem to know something they don't.

🔥 like a dog with a bird at your door by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S6, Getting Together | 51K | Explicit): or, evan “i love you like a dog” buckley has only ever known how to love like, well, a dog, but maybe eddie diaz is the kinda guy to give a flea-bitten mongrel a forever home

i want to scream "I love you" from the top of my lungs, but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me by scarcrossedbuck (cryptidNick) (Getting Together | 11K | Explicit): or: Buck drunk calls Eddie to confess his love anonymously. Eddie doesn't hear it. Buck struggles with his feelings.

there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head by Underhung_Aura (Getting Together, Post-Lightning | 8K | General): Eddie comes out to Buck, receives a quirky mug, and gets together with the love of his life. In that order.

i'll come tackle the monsters by Iover_of_mine (I_almost_do)/ @lover-of-mine (Getting Together | 4K | Teen): Buck has a nightmare and they talk about the shooting.

Homefield Disadvantage by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Established Buddie | 2K | Teen): Buck is recovering from appendicitis. Christopher has an important school project. Eddie faces danger on the job. They are a family, your honor. That is all.

come close, let me be home by Daffi_990_ao3 / @daffi-990(Post-Season 6, Getting Together | 4K | Not Rated): Buck and Eddie slow dance at Maddie and Chim’s wedding

baby, say you'll always keep me by hattalove (Getting Together, Post-Season 4 | 8K | Teen): or the one in which joking about being married to your best friend is all fun and games, right up until you realize that you're not laughing.

WIP

🔥 and here, too, am i by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Future fic, Married Buddie | 1/3 | 11K | Teen): Six months into their marriage, Eddie is still struggling to decide whether or not he wants more kids, when he knows Buck does. The universe may not scream, but it certainly talks.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 6/? | 11K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon, S1 through S6 | 97/? | 250K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

Re-Read

growing sideways by roseapothecarys/ @gaylicense (Getting Together | 3K | General): or: chris gets buck a father's day present.

🔥 i don't swim and you're not in love by hattalove/ @hattalove (S4, Post-Buck Begins | 32K | Teen): or, eddie cooks, chris domesticates a slug, and buck tries to figure out why he hates his best friend's girlfriend. to everyone's immense shock and surprise, it goes badly.

[janicho88]

When It All Falls Apart -Chapter 8

Pairing- Jensen x ex!Padalecki Reader

Word count- 2,736

Warnings- Some language. Dealing with a breakup. Sad reader. Angst, If I missed something let me know!

A/N- I'm hoping the tags work this time, I typed them all out this time instead of copying them like the last two chapters. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural.  Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns.  Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right?  While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere.  Distance is only the start of your troubles.

Series Masterlist

Once you arrive back in Austin after the 4th of July family trip, you have some cleanup to do.  There are now two trips worth of dirty clothes in your room, the car is a mess, and you should see what else you managed to collect in your suitcase.   You spend the rest of Tuesday evening working on those things.

Wednesday morning, Gen and Jared leave for L.A.  They have meetings out there with the studio for Walker today and tomorrow.  A few last minute things have to be hammered out before filming begins two weeks from today. 

When it’s time to get lunch for Tom, you go through the cupboards, but don’t find much that interests the two of you.

“Buddy, I think we might need a grocery store trip,” you tell him with a frown.

“Do we have to?” he whines.

“Unless you want to eat radishes for lunch.”

He shakes his head with such disgust you can’t help but laugh.  After grabbing your purse, the two of you are off to the store.  As you are pushing a cart down the first aisle, you pass the bakery section.  

“That cake looks good, doesn’t?” you ask your nephew who is riding in the front of the cart.

He just nods his head.  You pick it up and set it in the cart, along with some fruit that Gen isn’t growing in the garden, and a gallon of milk for Tom.  Going down the snack aisle, Tom sees the boxes of goldfish crackers.

“Those are Unca Jensen’s favorites.”

You look at where he’s pointing, and a sad smile appears on your face.  “You're right buddy, they are.”

“We should get some for when he comes over.”

“I don’t know if he’ll be over anytime soon though.”

“How come?  I miss him.”

“I get that buddy, I really do.”

“Why don’t we see him anymore?  I used to get to see you and him when you were workin’ like daddy.”

“He’s really busy right now.”

“Can we try and call him later?”

Looking at Tom giving you the dang puppy dog look he inherited from Jared, you find it very hard to say no.  But, you know you aren’t going to be able to dial that number.  

“I’m sorry buddy, but he can’t talk right now.  Maybe he’ll be able to when your dad gets back.”

He looks like he might tear up, so you let him get the box of goldfish to give to Jensen the next time he sees him.  Walking further down the aisle, you see a bag of cheddar popcorn, you throw that in the cart, then some pretzels.  Passing by the freezers, a new tub of ice cream joins the party.  Standing in the checkout, a few candy bars. 

Loading the car, you realize you really didn’t get much in the way of actual food for Tom’s lunch.  You stop and grab fried chicken and some mashed potatoes on the way home.  There’s plenty to have leftovers for dinner too.

The next day, the two of you take a trip to the park.   The pizza and ice cream you picked up on the way home was totally Tom’s idea, after you may have mentioned it to him.  Back at the house, there is pizza, breadsticks, cheese fries, popcorn, pretzels, cake, Oreos, and some fresh baked cookies spread out on the table in front of the couch. Tom picks out Hercules and the two of you settle in to watch and pig out.

About halfway through the movie, you look over at your nephew still munching on popcorn.  “Hey Tom, do me a favor and don’t tell your parents we ate all this. Okay?”

“Okay, Aunt Y/N.”

“Thanks.”

The movie is over and you are working on cleaning up all the food when the front door opens.  You quickly get Tom behind you as you are slowly moving forward to get a peek at the entrance when your brother comes into sight.

“Hey gang!” He greets you both.

“Daddy!”

“Jare, I didn’t think you were coming back until later tonight.”

“The meetings went quicker than anticipated, and we found an earlier flight.”

“Great,” you tell him, slowly looking back over your shoulder.

Gen comes walking up behind you, having entered from the back and gone through the kitchen.  “Did we have a party guys?  There’s a lot of food here.”

“Guess what we had to eat?” Tom excitedly tells her everything he had the last two days.

“Really Tom? Thanks a lot buddy.”

“I only got one ice cream from the place, but Aunt Y/N, got two.”

“One was a drink.”

“It was ice cream.” Your nephew counters. 

“I’m going to finish cleaning up.”  You move back to the kitchen before anyone else can say a word.

Mess cleaned up, you are up in the bedroom laying on your bed with the bag of popcorn and the cookies when Gen knocks on the door.

“Hey,” you greet her.

“Hey, yourself.  Can I join you?”

“Sure, it is your house after all.”  You move to sit back against the headboard as she walks in.

She sits down beside you and grabs a cookie.  “I don’t know if I should be worried that you are taking your nephew through this breakup binge with you, or mad that you didn’t ask the pregnant lady to join?”

“It’s not a binge, it’s nothing.  Just some snacks.”

“It’s not you.  The crazy baking and cooking.  I saw all the food you cleaned up in the kitchen today.  When Jay first left to shoot the movie and you started staying here, you did something like this for a few days.  But it wasn’t to this extreme.”

“Gen, it’s…”

“Don’t tell me nothing.  This breakup is hitting you harder than you want to admit.  Honestly, I’m not sure you even realize it.”

She waits for you to say something, but you remain quiet.

“You haven’t gotten the rest of your stuff out of his place yet.  I think a part of you is still trying to hold on.  I know you were together a few years, but I don’t want to see this drag you down.”

“I didn’t want to tell mom we broke up, because that made it seem really real.  So will cleaning my stuff out of his house.   I still wake up some mornings and hope it was all just a nightmare, and I’ll call him up and he’ll tell me I was crazy for even dreaming that.”

“You tried to work it out, but decided ending things was the best option for you.  The more you fight moving on, the more it’s going to hurt you.” 

“I don’t know why it’s hitting so hard.  It's not like I saw him much the last few months anyways.”

“Yeah, but now you know you won’t be together when he comes back.  It’s hard, but sweetie you need to move forward.”

You sit there a minute, “yeah I guess I do.”

Gen sits with you watching How to Lose a Guy and eating the snacks, until Tom calls her away. You know she’s right, but it’s hard to close this chapter of your life.  

After dinner the next night, you ask Jared if he has a minute to talk.

“For you little sis, I might have two.”

“You’re hilarious, Jare.”

He takes a mock bow before sitting on the couch across from you.

“I need to get the last of my stuff from Jensen’s place, but I really don’t want to go alone.  Do you think you could come over with me tomorrow?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Thanks.”

“And um, Tom was asking about calling him some time.  I don’t think I can do that.”

“Understood.  I can take care of that sometime.”

The next morning the two of you take your SUV and Jared’s truck over to Jensen’s.  You have an empty suitcase and duffle bag with you, plus you think you have another bag at his place.  Walking in the door, you pause and take a look around.  Chances are this will be the last time you are here.  It didn’t really feel like your place, but maybe you just never gave it a chance to.

“Want me to break some of his stuff while we’re here?” your brother asks, standing behind you.

“No, Jare.  Behave.”

“Where do you want to start?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe upstairs with my clothes.”

He follows you up to the master bedroom.  As you get your clothes out he starts stuffing them into the suitcase.  When he fills one, he takes it outside and loads it up.  The bathroom things you have left here are next.  Then there are your boxes sitting in the guest room.  Since you never unpacked them, you don’t have to worry about repacking.  Walking around the house you pick up a few things here and there that are yours.  You water the houseplants as you move around.  When you are fairly certain you have everything, you come meet Jared back in the living room.

Looking around the room, the case of the last DVD you watched together is still laying in front of the tv.  You go over and pick it up, turning to Jared. 

“I never thought him leaving for work would turn out like this.”

“I know.  I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.”  

He doesn’t say anything, just comes over and gives you a hug.  

“I’ll meet you outside okay?”

“Yep,” he responds, taking the last bag out with him.

Standing at the kitchen counter you remove Jensen’s house key from your keyring and set it with the garage remote on the counter.  Looking around the house one more time, you whisper “bye Jens.”

Setting the alarm, you lock the bottom lock on the inside of the door, and use the keypad to lock the deadbolt outside.   Jared pulls out of the drive first and with one more look behind you, you turn and follow him back to the house.  

He helps you unload your things back at the house, some of the boxes stay in the garage, some of the bags need to go upstairs.  That night you are thinking about what Gen said about moving on.  Getting your things out of Jensen’s place was the first step.  The next was going to be leaving your brother’s house.  When you started spending a night here and there with them, it wasn’t meant to turn into living with them.  You really should get out of their hair. 

Monday morning you call a realtor and schedule a meeting for later that afternoon.  When you go in you explain what you are looking for, and some of the areas around town you would be okay with moving to.  Amy, who you will be working with, tells you she will put a list together and get back with you soon. 

Gen asks that evening what kept you busy all day, you tell her you had some errands to run.  You don’t want to mention moving out yet, slightly worried they would talk you out of it easily.  Jensen and Jared might not be on the best of terms because of you right now, but there was no doubt in your mind they would get past it.  Once again the two of them would be hanging out, you didn’t want to be here for that.  You couldn’t be. 

You were outside with Gen late Wednesday morning, when your phone went off.  Amy was calling to let you know she had some places to show you.  She told you to let her know when you were ready to look at them.  

“Are you free this afternoon?” you ask.

“Let me check,” you catch her a little off guard at wanting to go out and look so quickly.

“I’ll be free after 2:30. I can meet you at the first place then?”

“That will work.”

She gives you the address before hanging up. The first place is the closest to Jared and Gen’s, Nalle Woods of Westlake apartments.  They only have 2 bedroom units available right now, that doesn't matter too much to you though. The place just wasn’t you.  Stopped at a red light on your way to the next location, you take a look around.  The restaurant you and Jensen had your first Austin date at is just up ahead.  

The second stop is a condo on Lennox Drive, but it requires a 12 month lease minimum.  You aren’t sure if you want to commit to a place for that long right now.   Leaving there you drive by Lady Bird Lake.  You and Jensen had enjoyed going there and walking the trails. 

The Ridgeview apartments you looked at next were nice, but they didn’t come furnished.  Since you had sold your furniture before moving you would need to start all over again there. 

Signs for the Austin Zoo catch your eye on the drive to the next place.  It brings back memories of the time you and Jensen took your nephews and niece there for a day. 

Turning on the radio to distract yourself you leave the station on Prime Country when you hear Garth singing.  The next single bedroom apartment is newly listed, you have hope it will work out. The drive takes you past Peter Pan Mini Golf, where you have had a few date nights.  This apartment you stop at is another unfurnished one, and the more you have seen today tells you that isn’t what you want right now.

The last place you check out is an apartment building on Congress Ave.  You can lease these apartments for as short as a month.  That seems more like you are looking for right now.  They come fully furnished, even having housewares and linens.  There is a pool, gym and laundry room for tenants to use.   The downside is they are a little cramped, but if it’s just you what’s the problem?

You thank Amy for her time and let her know you need to think some things over but would get back to her soon.  Leaving the last apartment, you drive over the Congress Avenue bridge.  Jensen had brought you out here one night to see the bats, and you had been freaked out at first as they all flew out.  

So much of this town just screams Jensen to you, it is going to make your fresh start a little hard.  Apparently, the radio agrees with you, LeeAnn Womack comes on singing, “Little Past Little Rock.”

“I had to leave my life in Dallas

That town will always be you

In every crowd, on every corner,

Every face I'd see you

So with nothing more than a tank of gas

I drove away without looking back…”

“I know exactly how you feel LeeAnn.  He’s everywhere here.  I’ll even have to drive by his house every time I go to Jared and Gen’s.”

“Don't know where I'll go

Or what I'll do

I'm a little past Little Rock,

But a long way from over you

These headlights on the highway

Disappear into the dark

And if I could have it my way

I'd go back to where you are…”

“I’d just like to go back in time, maybe I could have changed my schedule and gone with him.  Maybe then things would have worked out differently.”

“Too late to change my mind

I've got to keep my heart out of this

And both hands on the wheel

I'm learning more with every mile

Just how leaving feels

It's a lonely stretch of blacktop

Out into the blue

Don't know where I'll go

Or what I'll do

I'm a little past Little Rock,

But a long way from over you…”

“Austin just might be my Dallas.  He’s the main reason I came here.  Maybe I should be leaving here and heading back to L.A.  It wouldn’t be the first time I lived away from my family.  It would be a clean start.”

As you pull back in the driveway at your brother’s place, you are thinking more and more that getting out of town is going to be the way to go.  You can’t right away because of Walker, but maybe you could see about them reducing your role in the future.  Today has given you a few things to think about.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 9

Tags

SPNForevers- @winchest09 @flamencodiva @whatareyousearchingfordean @waywardbeanie @deanwanddamons  @emoryhemsworth  @atc74 @sandlee44 @akshi8278  @fantasydevil2002 @writercole @440mxs-wife   @nervousfandom @lunarmoon8 @thoughts-and-funnies @downanddirtydean @katelyn--renee​ @that-one-gay-girl​ @lyarr24 @pineapleavocado @siospins2​ ​ @ariesbabe1993​  @graciebear73  @stixnstripesworld​ @spnbaby-67  @treat-winchesterswith-kindness @charmed-asylum​ @winchestergirl2 @jawritter @hobby27 @amyzombie1013​  @sexyvixen7 @leigh70 @krazykelly @nancymcl @candy-coated-misery0731 @kmc1989 @supraveng

WIAFA Masterlist

@woodworthti666 @spnfamily-j2 @stoneyggirl2 @creative-writing92 @kaz11283 @deans-baby-momma @let-me-luv-you @senjoritanana @itzabbyxx @djs8891 @tmb510 @perpetualabsurdity @mellyie @fiftyshadesgrl @jessicalynnann

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

Would they release kiddie jammies like this as part of their merchandise? So cute!

Or Rei’s target graphic T-shirt?

It must be Kazuki who bought the T-shirt seeing the humor and irony of it. If it is Rei, then it is self-irony, but I doubt that seeing he has a zero ounce of sense of humour in his body because of his upbringing. He is blunt and doesn’t resort to nonsensical things.

Like the cat T-shirt and Miri’s pyjamas and other attire, Kazuki must have been the instigator of it.

“Sorry, Rei, that you cannot have a cat, but take this T-shirt as a consolation” instead kind of thing. Cruel.

[officialtwistedfandub]

Are you guys only going to voice the main story or the events are going to be included? Are you guys going to take liberties in dialogues, Buddy Daddies ENG comes to mind as an example to me, or are you going to stick to the OG material?

Really looking forward to hearing this. Azul and Vil voices in ENG are already canon in my head.

Hello, thanks for asking! Yes, we intend to do both the main story and events, as well as vignettes! In fact, we have currently recorded the entirety of The Prologue through Book One. We are wrapping up Book Two, and our cast members begin recording for Book Three beginning in January. We have already entirely finished events such as Beanfest 1, Fairy Gala 1, and multiple Culinary Crucible events. The cast is currently working through Phantom Bride. We have also recorded a handful of dorm uniforms, school uniforms and chats...and all still more to come!

[ofstoriesandstardust]

lights will guide you home (p.m.m.)

a/n: this is the if i stay!au i never intended to actually write, but it feels like a long time coming. this is not same mistakes-verse canon but an AU that takes place inside the same mistakes universe? does that make sense? anyways, there’s a playlist for this fic and um i think i’m gonna go sob now

summary: “If you want to go, I need you to know that it’s going to be okay.” 

-

Or: Maverick says goodbye. 

title comes from coldplay’s “fix you”

main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist | same mistakes-verse 

warnings: hurt/no comfort, heavy angst, major character death, car accidents, hospitals, ventilators, mentions of giving birth, rebel as a baby, blood, do not drive while under the influence, hit and run, medical inaccuracies, mentions of the afterlife, mentions of canon deaths, mentions of an afterlife, i think i broke the angst meter, 

word count: 6.1k

tears stream down your face/when you lose something you can not replace

It’s quiet in the room. Barely lit. The only sound comes from the machine in the corner, from the ventilator keeping his daughter alive, the steady beeping of the machine measuring her heart rate.

He sighs, letting go of her hand and bringing his arm to rest on his knees. His head hangs down, his hands coming up in the gesture of a prayer.

He knows in his heart what he needs to do.

So he steels himself, searching for the strength to be brave just one last time, and be the father she needs him to be.

He takes a deep breath, taking her hand again as he shifts up to brush some of her hair away from her face. He allows his fingers to trail over her face, trying to memorize the way it feels under his calloused fingertips.

He squeezes her hand, hanging his head once more.

“If-” His voice gets caught in his throat and he has to cough to clear it.

Be brave, one more time.

He swallows, nodding to himself.

“If you want to go, I need you to know that it’s going to be okay.”

-

He remembers the first time he held her so clearly.

Maybe now more than ever.

He remembers how quiet it had been in the nursery. It was late at night and he shouldn’t have been there. But Natalie’s birth had been so stressful and chaotic that the nurse must have taken pity on him, letting him in to hold his daughter.

He remember reaching out for her little hand, so small and tiny and fragile.

He remembers the fear that had struck him cold.

He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready to be a father. He barely knew how to keep himself alive, why Goose and Carole trusted him Bradley was beyond him.

Deep down, he knew that wasn’t true. He’d go to the ends of the earth for the littlest Bradshaw. His buddy.

Even in her sleep, she’d wrapped her fingers around his own, nuzzling closer to his touch. His heart clenched at the movement, feeling an overwhelming sense of love come over him, quickly replacing the fear.

He reached down, gingerly picking her up. He was afraid he’d wake her but all she did was hum as he gently pulled her to his chest. He held her over his heartbeat, slowly rubbing his hand up and down her back.

She was so small.

“Hi baby.” He whispers. “It’s your Daddy. It’s late right now, so we can officially be introduced in the morning, but I just wanted to come say hi.”

She yawns, nuzzling closer to him.

If it’s possible, love blooms even brighter in his chest, a sense of pride swelling in him.

This was his child.

He bows his head, tucking his chin on top of her head, hiding the tears at the fact that Carole and Goose had been right, that all he needed was to see her, and it would all click.

This was his daughter.

Looking down at the little child in his arms, he places a soft kiss to her head before gently putting her back down. He reaches out, tracing his fingertips over the few tufts of hair on her head.

He swears, in that moment, that he would do whatever it took to protect his daughter from harm.

-

He couldn’t protect her.

It’s all he can think of as Penny drives him to the hospital.

He should’ve been there to protect her.

The night is rainy, thundering against the rooftop of the car as he struggles to keep himself upright and breathing, mind racing with the worst possibilities. Out of the corner of his eye, he recognizes the movement of Penny glancing at him before reaching out to squeeze his thigh.

“She’ll be okay.” Penny whispers. “Your daughter is nothing if not a fighter.”

He knows that, rationally, he knows that.

But for as much of a fighter as his daughter is, he knows that the universe is just as much of a cruel temptress, who cares little about matters of life and death, of love and loss, of the people who are still needed on this earth.

Bradley needed her. Javy too. Amelia and yes, even Jake.

Many loved his daughter, even if she didn't always see it. Many needed her in their lives.

He still needed his daughter.

Getting the call, the worst call, had been like a bucket of ice down his spine.

The hospital hadn’t told him anything over the phone, which only stood to heighten his fears. They’d just asked him to come to the hospital as soon as he possibly could, which only made his worry grow.

The rest of the drive is a blur.

He remembers his breath getting caught in his throat as he stepped through the door, brain flashing back to the night Carole had checked into the hospital for the last time.

Penny squeezes his shoulder, bringing him back to the present. She nods at him, the smallest signs of encouragement, moving her hand down his arm to intertwine her fingers with his own.

You can do this.

He walks to the front desk, the nurse in green and pink scrubs with frogs looking up at him. “How may I help you?”

“My- my daughter.” Penny squeezes his hand as he forces himself to take a shaky breath. “I’m Pete Mitchell, I received a call that my daughter was in a car crash and was brought here?”

The nurse behind the one sitting, wearing all blue scrubs, looks up at him from a chart she’s looking over. “You’re Pete Mitchell?”

He nods, afraid of the look the flashes through her eyes at the sight of him, at the way she softens as she steps closer like he’s a wounded animal who might run.

“Your daughter is still in surgery. When she’s out of surgery, she’ll be moved to the ICU and at that time, you may see her. I’m afraid I can’t give you any more information at this time.”

“How- how did this happen?”

Someone clears their throat, prompting them to turn. An older man is standing next them. He’s wearing a police uniform, holding his cap in his hands.

There’s lines under his eyes, sign of years of laughter and love.

What won’t be for the first time that night, he’s struck with the realization that his daughter may never see those days.

“Mr. Mitchell, I’m Officer John Matthews. I was the responding officer at the scene. I rode with your daughter in the ambulance here and I’d be happy to fill you on what happened. I’d like to wait with you, if that’s alright.”

He realizes too late that there’s still blood on this man’s uniform.

His daughter’s blood.

“We’d love to know anything you can tell us.” Penny says from beside him.

His breathing is coming out in shorts bursts now as he zeroes in on the crimson stain against the Navy blue on this man’s uniform. It feels like he’s underwater as this man guides them to a set of chairs to sit.

A thought strikes him, breaking him out of the panic.

“I’ve- I’ve gotta call Brad. Do you think he knows? He needs to be here, he-” He stands up, staggering as he fumbles for his phone, patting his pockets.

“Mav!” A voice calls out from across the waiting room, sprinting towards him from the door.

His head swings up, barely catching sight of his son before his body barrels into him. Instinctively, he wraps his arms around him, trying to soothe his shaking body.

“They called, they wouldn’t tell me anything, oh God, please tell me she’s going to be okay-”

Bradley pulls away, wiping at his eyes furiously.

“Kiddo, I-” He shakes his head. “I don’t know. She’s still in surgery.”

“Why don’t you have a seat? Officer Matthews was just about to explain what happened, he was the responding officer on the scene.” Penny says softly from behind them. Bradley nods, moving to one of the chairs, pulling Maverick with him. “This is Bradley, her fiancé.”

Matthews gives Brad a small smile. “Hi son. Nice to meet you.”

Bradley gives a jerky nod in return.

Matthews sighs, running his hands over his pants. “Your daughter was hit by a driver who was driving while under the influence. Her car was t-boned on the driver side in the middle of the intersection. The driver had the red but sped through the intersection anyways, hitting her at 80 miles per hour. He took off after the accident, but because he was highly intoxicated and injured and on foot, he only made it a few blocks before officers caught up with him. He’s currently in custody and sustained minor injuries. We have traffic cam footage of the accident as well, so he will be facing charges.”

Matthews sounds like he’s rattling off a report he wrote, telling them the pure facts and nothing more.

“I was the responding officer at the scene. Because of the rain and the force of the impact, your daughter’s car slid on the asphalt and-” Matthews cuts himself off, taking a shaky breath before shutting his eyes. He doesn’t need the officer to continue to guess what happened next. “Mr. Mitchell, I am so sorry. We did everything we could at the scene to give her proper medical attention before EMTs got there. I am so sorry.”

Next to him, Bradley whimpers. “She was just supposed to be picking Harvard up. She was just supposed to pick him up and take him back to his house and come home. I offered to go with her, but she told me to stay in bed, that I looked too cozy with Buddy. I should’ve been there. It should’ve been me.”

Shoes squeak on the floor, causing them all to look up.

Javy is standing there, looking paler and shaky than he’s ever been, even after the time he went into g-loc the first time this group had all been together. He seems frozen in place, fear etched into every inch of his face.

Jake’s next to him, barely keeping Javy from tumbling to the floor.

Behind him, he can see Natasha’s shorter figure.

Bob towers over them, with Mickey leveling out the group.

The shoes they heard are attached to that of Reuben, who’s holding a coffee carrier. His wife Celia is next to him, holding two more.

No one seems sure what to say, all just looking at one another.

“If Rebel was here, she’d say we all look like the Spiderman meme.” Mickey breathes out, a ghost of a smile appearing on his face.

It’s Jake who laughs first, breaking the tension. “Garcia, could you read the room please?” He says through choked chuckles, head swinging back to the shorter man.

Mickey shrugs. “She would’ve thought it was funny.”

“I hate that you’re right and I can not wait to see the look on Rebel’s face when you tell her that.” Reuben says. “Now come on you lot, sit. We’re going to be here a while.” Reuben nods his head to chairs as they follow his direction, gathering around him and Bradley. “I brought coffee for everyone. The smallest of comfort right now, you know?”

The group is silent as they sit, taking their coffee from Reuben and Celia. When Reuben gets to Maverick, he wordlessly holds out the drink before sitting down next to him. Penny has since moved, talking with Celia and checking in with the aviators. He shifts the cardboard sleeve on the cup as Reuben sighs, leaning back in the chair.

“I’m really sorry Mav.” He says, shaking his head. “I’m- I’m a Dad and I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now.”

“That explain the coffee?” He asks, holding the cup up.

Reuben chuckles. “That’s Celia’s idea. She’s holding it together for me, I think. Penny called me and Celia’s first instinct was to figure out how to make it better for everyone else. We fell in love with saints of women.”

He frowns, nodding.

Penny really had been great and things really hadn’t even begun to unfold.

He had no idea what would happen over the next 24 hours.

So yeah, maybe he could kind of understand the appeal of coffee, a small gift of something he didn’t have to worry about while he focused in on the one thing that did matter: his kid.

-

He isn’t sure how much longer he sits there, tearing at the edges of the cardboard sleeve. The waiting room is quiet, a nervous tension buzzing in the air. 

His pilots are quiet, maybe for the first time in their lives. 

Callie has appeared along with Billy and Neil. Her head is leaned on Billy’s shoulder, legs propped up on Billy’s lap. 

Mickey’s leaned back in his chair, Reuben’s arm thrown over his WSO. Celia is on the opposite side of Mickey, rubbing her arm up and down the man’s shoulders. 

Natasha is next to Brad, her hand on his knee. Bob’s next to them, arm slung over Nat’s shoulder as she leans into his chest. 

Javy won’t let Jake touch him, it seems. Javy’s head is in his hands all while Jake watches his boyfriend closely. 

“Pete Mitchell?” 

He looks up towards the voice. It’s the nurse from earlier, the one with the pink scrubs with frogs. 

“Your daughter is out of surgery. Dr. Hansley was wondering if he could have a word?” 

He nods, standing up from his chair with aching limbs as he walks towards the nurse and down a hallway with her, feeling almost like he’s walking towards hearing his daughter’s death sentence. 

The doctor meets them outside of the ICU, a younger man with glasses atop his nose. He almost looks like Bob. 

“Mr. Mitchell, it’s good to meet you. I’m Dr. Carlos Hansley, I was the chief surgeon who operated on your daughter.” 

“Is she going to be okay?” He asks abruptly, unable to bring himself to do the niceties. 

The doctor sighs. “Unfortunately, I can’t guarantee that. Your daughter had many mild contusions and lacerations along the left side of her body. In addition, she also had what is called a hemothorax, which is internal bleeding in the lungs. This was due to the impact of the collision and the subsequent rolling of the car. We had to sedate her and put her on a ventilator to allow for a chest tube to be inserted so as to drain the blood. We also suspect that she may have some brain swelling due to the collision, but our main priority was to drain the blood from her lungs.” 

He swallows, nodding. “So, what’s best case scenario we’re looking at here?” 

“Best case scenario? We are able to ween the sedation and take her off the ventilator at some point over the next few days, where she will be able to breath on her own.” The doctor pauses, biting his lip. 

“But?” 

“But there is no telling just how much her quality of life will be diminished, just that it will most likely be severe. As of right now, we are unable to tell the long-term consequences of the collision. Your daughter is physically stable right now. But it’s up to her to keep fighting and I want you to be fully aware that it may not be worth it to her.” Dr. Hansley sighs. “This is never easy to tell a parent but you should prepare yourself for the possibility that your daughter may not wake up.” 

His ears begin to ring at the words, suddenly feeling underwater once more. 

“Can I see her?” 

Dr. Hansley nods. “This is your daughter’s nurse, Jessica. Should you need anything while you’re with her, Jessica can help you and will be attending to your daughter. She will explain all the visitation rules while she is in the ICU.” 

He nods as the doctor excuses himself, walking down the hallway. 

“You mentioned something about a fiancé?” 

He nods, looking back down the hallway where he came from. “Yes, Bradley. He’s her fiancé.” 

She nods, gesturing back towards the hallway. “We usually limit visitors in the ICU to that of family, and although not legally married, I trust that he will want to be here. However, it seems that there are many people here who might wish to say goodbye to her, so I just ask that you all behave and limit yourselves to three in the room at a time.” 

“Do you think she’ll make it?” He hears himself asking before he can even register that the words have left his mouth. 

It almost feels like he’s floating. 

Jessica sighs. “It’s tough to say, Mr. Mitchell. I think that your daughter is going to be one hell of a fighter. Why don’t you stay with your daughter if it’s alright I inform her fiancé of her state?” 

He nods, starting towards the bed he can see his daughter laying on through the glass window on the door before stopping again. “We’re Navy.” He admits sheepishly. “They’re my pilots, they fly with my daughter. They’re family.” 

She gives him a soft smile. “Well then I’ll make sure they all know they’re welcome to come by. I’ll send Bradley down here as well.” 

“Thank you.” He whispers. 

“Of course, Mr. Mitchell.” 

“Pete. Please call me Pete.”

She nods. “Of course, Pete. Now go look after your daughter.” 

-

It’s the waiting that kills him from the inside out, unable to do anything more for his daughter than just wait. 

-

It’s not for another two days before the doctor informs them that they should probably start thinking about taking his daughter off the ventilator and letting her pass peacefully. 

Bradley rages. 

-

The next morning, everyone prepares to say their goodbyes. 

Despite the open offer to go with them, he keeps himself in the waiting room, Penny’s hand in his. 

Callie and Billy go first. Callie only makes it a few minutes before she re-appears, sobbing so hard he isn’t sure she’s breathing. 

Reuben and Celia go next, Celia bringing a little teddy bear Reuben’s boys, Elijah and Adrian, had picked out for her to bring her comfort in her last moments. 

When Celia leaves, Mickey joins Reuben. The two are in there for almost an hour and a half and he wonders what stories Mickey is telling her before he never gets the chance to. He briefly thinks he might be catching her up on the latest Marvel film she hadn't seen yet, although he couldn’t tell you what it was. 

Natasha and Bob go together, although Bob leaves before Natasha does, the girl spending another 45 minutes with his daughter. He wonders what kinds of promises she’s making about Bradley. 

“Do you know what you’re going to do yet?” 

He shakes his head slowly, unable to meet his girlfriend’s eyes. She sigh, shifting gently in the chair next to him as Amelia disappears down the hallway with Jake to go say goodbye. 

“I’ll support you no matter what choice you make Pete.” She says, taking his head and settling her chin into his shoulder. 

“I want to be selfish.” He says, his voice cracking. “I want to be selfish and tell her to stay. I want her to fight and I want her to make it. I want to be selfish and keep my daughter with me.” He shakes his head, swallowing as he finally turns to look Penny in the eye. “But she could live the rest of her life in pain. We have no idea what life would be life for her physically if she woke up, to say nothing of her mental state. And I would never forgive myself if my daughter spent another ten years on this Earth in pain all because I was selfish.” 

“We make sacrifices for the ones we love.” She whispers. 

“I just wish it didn’t have to be me.” 

“She loved you Pete.” Penny whispers, pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade. “I know that doesn’t make it better or bring your daughter back but she loved you. She knows the sacrifice you’re making for her. You did right by your kid Pete.” 

“She deserved more time.” 

“I know but you’ve got to be brave enough to let her go. You’re strong enough to let her go and I’m right there with you.” 

“I love you, you know that?” 

She gives him a watery smile, pushing back some of his hair. He sits there a minute more, allowing himself to feel her love before he stands up. 

“Pete, wait.” 

He turns as Penny stands up, wrapping him in a hug. “Tell her I loved her too.” 

“She loved you Penny.” 

“My favorite thing about her. How much love she had to give to everyone.” She squeezes him before stepping back. “I’ll be right here.” 

He nods before sighing, turning away to walk towards his daughter’s room. He passes Amelia in the hallway and she stops, giving him a hug. He holds the girl to his chest, noting the way she’s grown up before his very eyes. 

“I’m sorry Maverick.” She whispers. 

“It’s okay A. She’ll be somewhere better, you know that.” She nods, wiping at her eyes once more before disappearing down the hallway towards her Mom. 

He finally reaches her room, pausing outside the cracked door, as he catches the sound of Jake’s voice. 

“-you didn’t even like me, you know?” The blonde sniffs and he suspects Jake might be barely suppressing tears. “You didn't even like me and yet you tried so hard for Javy.” Another sniff. “I think maybe that’s what I’ll miss most: your heart. You loved people so deeply, and you tried to see the best in everyone even when they’re just awful to you.” 

He pushes the door open a little wider, leaning against the doorframe as he takes in the pilot seated next to her bed. He’s holding one of her hands, head bent over her body. 

“You know, I- I would always argue with you just because I thought it was fucking funny. Javy always begged me to stop, told me that one day I was gonna get smacked and he wouldn’t feel sorry for me. But- But I loved that about us, you know? We argued and bickered and got in each other’s faces but you still would’ve picked the phone up at 3 am if I had called.” 

Jake sniffs again and as Maverick creeps closer into the room, he can see the fresh tear tracks on Jake’s face. 

“Getting to know you has been one of the greatest pleasures of my life. You were a light, Rebel, and the world will surely be darker without you. I’m- I’m sorry it had to end this way and those words feel hollow but I am. I’m sorry for all the things you’ll never get to see. I um- I bought that ring I was showing you.” Jake sniffs agains as Pete’s heart clenches. 

His daughter had been helping Jake plan to propose to Javy, he realizes. 

“It’s a shame you won’t be here to see it, because he’d want you to be here. He loved you with his whole heart, you know. You two truly were platonic soulmates and I loved y’alls friendship maybe more than you loved it. Because I knew that if something ever happened to me, you’d be there to look after him. So here’s my promise to you: I’ll look after them. I’ll look after Javy, I’ll look after Bradley, and I’ll even be sure to look after Pops. I don’t want you to worry that they’ll be alone because they won’t.” 

Jake rubs his hands over his face as he pulls away from her, standing up from his chair. 

“There’s some place better.” 

Jake jumps, turning to face him. 

“Mav, I-” 

“She really cared about you.” 

The pilot nods, glancing back at her. “She was a good friend. I’m really gonna miss her.” 

“There’s some place better.” He whispers, throat closing up as he looks back to his daughter. 

He knew what he needed to do. 

Jake pats him on the shoulder as he walks past. He stands there for a minute, just watching her before moving closer to her bed, sitting down in the chair Jake had abandoned as he picks up her hand. 

He squeezes it, looking over his daughter. He spies the little teddy bear tucked up on the bed, right next to her cheek. It almost makes it seem like she’s just fallen asleep. 

There was an ache settling in his chest, one he was never sure he’d fill, the same ache that had settled in his chest when Goose, Carole, Ice, left him. 

“If you want to go, I want you to know that it’s going to be okay.” He whispers, looking at her face. He rubs his thumbs over the bruised knuckles, wondering how they ended up here. 

She wasn’t supposed to beat him back to them. 

She was supposed to live a long, healthy life with Bradley and their dog and everything she had ever wanted. 

He decides in that moment that losing his child is more painful than anything he’s ever experienced as his breathing becomes ragged, eyes wet. 

“I want- I want to be selfish. I want to be selfish and tell you to stay, to fight, to be here with us. But I know that- that fighting may not be worth what you know will wait for you if you wake up. And I guess- I guess it’s kind of my choice here too, and that maybe I’m taking it away from you. But from the moment you were born, I-” 

He chokes on his breath, shuddering as he bows his head. “I promised to keep you safe. I promised I would protect you. And I’ve done a really shit job of it, haven’t I? I’ve failed you, every time, I’ve failed. And I won’t- I won’t fail you this time kiddo. I promise.” His voice cracks on the last word, body overcome with sobs. 

He isn’t sure how long he sits there, crying over her body, but the sky outside has darkened by the time he finally pulls himself together, the answer becoming clearer as he looks at her. 

Finally, he stands up, ready to face his decision. 

He sighs, closing the door behind him as he faces Javy and Bradley. They’re the only two left, minus Jake who’s lingering. He’d sent the rest of them home hours ago, wanting them to get some rest. They both watch him carefully as he pulls up a chair in front of them.

He swallows, the tears refusing to leave even as he tried to steady himself. “I have made the decision to pull her off the ventilator.” 

The words are quiet but Bradley’s next are not. 

“Mav, you can’t.” His eyes are wide and he can’t bring himself to meet them for too long, knowing he’s got the same betrayed look in his eye the day he found out he had pulled his papers. “Why are you just- why are you just giving up on her? She still has so much fight in her.” 

“Bradley, listen to me.” He says, doing his best to keep his voice measured. “We have no idea what it would be like for her if she survived. She would probably never fly again, she could spend the rest of her life in pain. I’m not taking that risk, not when she can go peacefully.” 

“No, she- she wouldn’t want you doing this.” 

“Bradley, you have to let her go.” He whispers. The pilot stands up abruptly, chair clattering to the floor from the force of the movement. 

“No!” He nearly shouts. “No, and I can’t believe I’m the only one fighting for her. I can’t believe you’re giving up on her like this! She’d be so disappointed in you, Mav.” Maverick winces, looking away from his son. 

“Brad, I’m sorry but this is what’s for the best for her.” 

“No, you’re wrong. I- I can’t be here.” 

Bradley turns, stalking down the hallway as he lets out a sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. 

“You’re doing the right thing.” Javy says quietly, even as he looks torn apart from the inside out. 

“You’re welcome to stay when they take the ventilator out until she passes.” 

Javy sniffs, shaking his head. “I can’t. I’m afraid- I’m afraid that if I stay, that’s going to be the only way I remember her. And I- I want to remember her the way I’ve always known my best friend. I want to remember her as the girl with the witty comments and who loved so fiercely. I want to remember her as full of life and not- not laying in a hospital bed.” 

He nods, reaching over to grasp Javy in a hug. The man returns it, tucking his head into his shoulder. “You were her best friend. No one can take that from you and it'll always be that way.” 

Javy nods, gripping him tighter. 

“I’m gonna go- I’m gonna go say goodbye to her.” 

He nods as Javy clings to him for a minute more before letting him go, moving to walk into the room. 

“Mav?” He turns, catching sight of Javy hesitating at her door. “Would- would you go with me? I’m- I’m scared.” 

He follows Javy into the room, shutting the door behind them. He stands, back resting against the wall, as Javy takes her hand. It’s all he does for a while, just looking at her. 

“I- I don’t even know where to start.” Javy whispers. “You were—are—my best friend. I don’t want to say goodbye because goodbye means that I have to move on with life without you in it and God, there’s never been a moment we’ve been friends where I thought of that as a possibility. I’m always- I’m always gonna remember you as the girl with the witty comebacks and insane flying skills and some of the best hugs.” Javy takes a shaky breath. “God, I always took for granted the time we had. I thought we’d have forever to get up to stupid shit and annoy our partners and I-” 

It’s then that Javy breaks down and he’s known his pilot long enough to know when he needs space. It’s hard on him too, watching all these people who had loved her have to say goodbye to her. 

It kills him to think that there might've been a point in her life where she had thought she wasn’t loved so strongly, so immensely. 

He walks blindly down the hallways to the nurses station where Jessica sits, typing something on the computer. She catches sight of him, offering him a soft smile. “Yes, Pete? What can I do for you?” 

He sighs, leaning against the counter. “I’ve decided I want to take her off the ventilator.” 

She sighs and nods. “I think you’re making the right choice here, Pete.” She says, standing up from the desk. 

“I hope so.” 

They walk down the hallway as she softly explains the procedure to him, how they’ll sedate her so she’ll feel no pain as she goes. She explains that they can be there the whole time so that she doesn’t have to be alone when she goes. 

As the reach the room, Javy’s still in there, Jake hugging his boyfriend as he cries. Javy pulls back when he spots them, Jake understanding in a moment what’s about to happen. 

Javy leaves the room, Jake offering him a final hug as he exits. He takes a deep breath, sitting down in a chair, as Jessica begins the process of taking her off the ventilator. He forces himself to watch, to hold his daughter’s hand as he tries to soothe her. 

Finally, as Jessica leaves, she rests a hand on his shoulder and whispers, “Let me know if you need anything.” He nods numbly, unable to look away from his daughter. She leaves, the sound of the door shutting behind her sounding through the room. 

He glances at the monitor, realizing her numbers aren’t going down like they should be. 

“Why is she fighting?” He whispers, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. “It’s okay sweetheart. I’m here, please don’t fight it, please just let go. It’s okay, I’m telling you it’s okay to go.” 

He nervously watches the numbers on the machine next to her, wondering if she’s in pain, desperately hoping she’s not panicking and thinking they abandoned her. 

“It’s okay, honey. Let go. I’m right here honey, it’s okay.” 

The door opens, revealing Bradley, who looks beyond distraught. His hair is tugged in wildly different directions, eyes red as his face is covered in tear tracks. He shuts the door quietly behind him, walking to sit down next to her. 

“How’s she doing?” He whispers, taking her other hand. 

“Fighting it.” 

Bradley grimaces, leaning forward to run his fingers over her forehead and down her cheek. “It’s okay baby. Your Dad and I, we’re right here. Let go. It’s okay to go, please don’t fight it.” 

He watches as his daughter’s numbers settle to how Jessica told him they should, almost like she’s breathing a sigh of relief as Bradley tells her it’s okay. 

“I love you, baby. It’s okay to go. Go to Mom and Dad, they’ll take care of you. I’ll be okay, I promise. I know you’ll wait for me. Just let go, let them take care of you.” 

His throat closes as he watches Bradley say goodbye, intertwining his fingers with her own. 

He forces himself to not watch the numbers on the machine that signal her getting closer to passing but instead focuses in on her face, the last few moments he has with his daughter. 

“I love you sweetheart. It’s okay, you don’t have to be scared. Ice is waiting for you.” He whispers, squeezing your hand. “He’ll take good care of you, sweetheart.”

In what is probably a matter of seconds, but feel more like a lifetime, she slips away. 

The machine gives a steady beep, signaling the end of her life. 

Bradley squeezes her hand ever so tighter, his head falling to rest on her arm as a sob overtakes his body. His shoulders are shaking with the weight of everything. 

Maverick can’t make himself move. He should go over there, comfort his son, tell him it will be okay, but he can’t bring himself to look away from the sight of his daughter. 

She looked so peaceful. 

-

Go to Mom and Dad, they’ll take care of you. I’ll be okay, I promise...

You feel warm, the sound of Bradley’s voice appearing. It’s comforting, hearing him tell you that it’s okay. You want to give him a hug, to run your fingers through his hair, and give him one last kiss. To tell him that you’re sorry it had to end this way, that the two of you hadn’t had more time. 

You want to curl up in your Dad’s arms, like all those times you’d done when you were scared when you were little. To tell him you were sorry you had become one more person he had lost. 

You hoped they stayed close to each other for the time they had left, that they wouldn’t make it their mission to come join you too soon. 

It’s okay, you don’t have to be scared. Ice is waiting for you...

Something lights up inside of you at the thought of your godfather again. As their voices become fuzzy and distant, the warmth envelopes you, almost like a hug as you’re drifting off to sleep. 

The next thing you feel is someone strong wrapping their arms around you, a hug from someone who smells like honey and ocean water. Like Carole had. 

The warm white clears, revealing a man who looks to be like your fiancé did, if only 40 years before. A man you recognize from pictures and hazy memories. He offers you a kind smile, if albeit a bit sad. 

Th person hugging you strokes your hair, whispering words that don’t register as your throat closes up, catching sight of another figure. 

“Ice?” 

He turns, giving you a watery smile. 

“Hi kiddo.” 

The person hugging you pulls back every so slightly, giving you a chance to catch the unmistakable blonde hair of Carole Bradshaw. She gives you a warm smile, still not letting go of you. 

“You’re safe now. We’ve got you.” 

[freshlyrage]

Running Like Water

Chapter 22

pairing: Javier Peña x OFC (written as xReader)

fic warnings: NSFW Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI) language, strained family relationships, mentions of drug abuse, discussions of insecurities and body image issues, daddy and mommy issues

fic tags: Best friends younger sister, Life-long crush, Friends to lovers, Unrequited love, slow burn, Push and Pull, Small Town Dynamics, Secret Relationships, latina MC, Fluff and Angst, OFC!Jessica Alba face claim, sorry Lorraine I’m bringing you into this, Time jumps, 2 year age gap, pre-canon

word count: 4.4k

a/n: Hi, I am back. Thank you for your patience and kind messages.

This is a peak for the story, next chapter is indeed the wedding and then the story picks up a bit. I am excited for this next leg.

Happy Double Update, read chapter 23 here

Javier Peña says the words often. Javier’s first words were love and papi. He was his dads best little buddy so it came as no surprise that the first words he ever formed were a manifestation of how much he loves his father. He ended every night with an I love you. He hung his Houston home phone after sharing his farewells and I love you’s. 

It was easy to know how loving someone feels, but sometimes Javier got confused. 

He told his first girlfriend in 6th grade that he loved her. He isn’t sure he could remember her name so he’s sure he was confused that time too. He told Lorraine he loved her, often, in passing and sometimes he felt guilty about it. He sometimes pictured telling her in some grandiose way but their relationship had quickly progressed to the likeliness of a separated couple. So in Houston, if they weren’t fighting; she’d squeeze his shoulder and say, I love you, goodnight. 

Or when Javier was in the force he’d kiss her cheek and say, Love you, after she said, be safe. He feels bad about it, he feels bad because he might have confused her. Maybe she thought his love you’s before work were declarations of the act of being in love. He realizes that he was never in love with Lorraine. He loved her, he spent many years with her. At many lonely points in his life he considered her his only companion, his friend. For a while he thought all of that was good enough, a fathers love and scattered I love yous from an estranged girlfriend. 

Then Javier thinks of you and he isn’t sure he can get confused anymore. He can pinpoint the switch, the moment where his heart couldn't take anymore of his own games. It would be easy to say it was the second he saw your face when he came home but that wasn’t it. He’s sure he fell in love with you while he was with Lorraine. What a painful realization to have?  He’s been trying really hard to be a better man, but that fact right there— it sets him back. 

He remembers picking that orange out of your locker, he remembers desperately attempting to extend your interaction. He had been up in arms thinking about you, your face circling his brain during inappropriate moments. But as he followed you around the hall, chest constricting with every one of your movements, smiles, sighs—he knew he was a bad man. 

But in between the constant state of repentance for loving you while having someone else in his bed—he found himself basking in his love for you. Like on the drive back from your lacrosse game. It was rare that he rode alone, but Lorraine had work after the game. He pressed a goodbye to her cheek as she hopped in a friend's car. Standing at top of the hill, where the parking lot overlooked the field. You were still there, standing with wind bitten cheeks and dirt up the sides of your legs. Mouth guard dangling between your lips with a scowl as your friend Monica talked your ear off in between squirts of water.

Javier felt light headed and hard. He patted his pocket for his keys and turned on his heels to  quickly find refuge in his dad’s truck. 

He rolled his windows down when (I love you) For Sentimental Reasons by The Righteous Brothers rang through his truck speakers. Tapping the wheel, singing off key and picturing you blinking your pretty warm eyes at him with a shy smile like you did. He felt utterly ridiculous when he slowed at a red light and was faced with just how loud he was being. Tilting his baseball cap tighter to conceal his face as he mumbled the rest of the song. 

He realized he was in love with you in that truck.

He tells you in that truck half a decade later. 

And there is no singing, or wheel tapping. There certainly wasn’t a Texan breeze instead still heat down in the bayou. And you aren’t covered in dirt and amused, instead covered in tears and frozen. Your face crinkling with another wave of emotion as you lean your temple against the window. Brows creased, face covered in red blotches. “You—what?” You made a face like it was so shocking. Like you hadn’t been trying to tell him all weekend. 

“I said that I really love you.” He isn’t backing down, his voice is stern and unmoved. Despite wanting to crumble into you and hold you until you stop crying, he knows he can’t be weak here. With the same stern tone he follows a bit quieter, “And I’m not sayin’ it in the way I should’ve told you when we were kids—when you needed it the most, but I'm telling you now so you don’t doubt it.” When he had to be firm and strong a slight southern drawl rolls from his lips, he pulls from his father when he needs to be firm. Picking up on his linguistic patterns when it’s needed. 

Your cries are no longer audible but instead just cheeks lined clear. “Javi-“

“Loving you is easy, being in love with you has been much easier.” He turns forward once more, cranking the ancient truck with a rumble that hides another audible sob from you. “I’ll take us home. And when we’re home I’ll take care of you–I don’t care how it’ll look to your mom or your fuckin’ big brother.” And he begins to drive. Almost angry with his movements like he’s bothered that you’re shocked by his love. His jaw clenched as he drove away from the rolling lawns of rich Lousianians. There was no way of reading his mind but truthfully, he wasn’t upset with you–Javier? Never. He was running circles in his own head, fighting the urge to make a u-turn and beat your father to a pulp.

Instead he talks to keep you distracted more so himself. 

At that moment you wished you didn’t need to be cared for, but if it was anyone in charge of that job–you could only pray it was him. You hiccup.

“My feelings for you changed when I saw you in 7/11 all those years ago. I tried to act like seeing you like that didn’t fuck with me. I was crushin’ on you so badly I started acting like a damn fool.” He makes a sharp turn and you stare at him behind blurry eyes. “I’m sorry for taking so long to tell you. I know you’ve wanted to say it for a while. I couldn’t find it fair, I put you–us through all of this. I should be the one to say it first.” He sniffles and reaches a hand to the overhead compartment, taking his yellow tinted sunglasses. Effectively covering his eyes. 

It’s silent for a moment until you scoff. The sound has Javier’s neck snapping, it’s the first sound other than sobs. Your nostrils flare, and you almost laugh. Laugh at all of it. Laugh at the years you spent pining over someone who felt the same, at how stupid this all was. How you put so much value on a man who never bothered to find you or even care. Javier looks at you with concern as you short stop at a red light, he’s probably thinking you’ve gone mad. Giggling to yourself through red eyes. 

“You’ve always gotta beat me to it huh? You called me first, kissed me first, said I love you first. Shoot–even when we were kids, I would ignore you out of shyness but you always came running to say hi to personally torture a timid girl like me.” You shake your head and wipe your tears. You used to find it cruel, the way Javier had to always center you in every setting you were in. After every first move he’d make, you sat in your bed later that day thinking–damn if only I had done it before him. 

His lips twitched at their corners, his beautiful smile shining through, shaking his head and looking straight back at the changing light. “You snooze, you lose, baby.” He shrugs and steps on the gas. You sniffle still smiling, god you had whiplash from the emotions flowing through you. For now, for this moment, you were something that felt like content. Free maybe, free of a father who seemed to have his own head in his ass anyway. You were sad, yes, heartbroken even, but man did you feel lighter. You look to your boyfriend as he drives the car you practically grew up in. Sitting in the same seat you’ve sat in hundreds of times before. And you’re just so glad to be next to him. 

“Well then, I really love you too Javier.” 

His brow wrinkles above the shades, “I know.”

Four hours into the ten hour trip the two of you had stopped three times. It was late at night already, the two of you won’t make it until four am the next day at least. As the sun sets Javier asks you if Laredo feels like home to you. 

You wish you weren't so embarrassed about your answer. 

“Well, it didn’t feel like home when I was in Miami. I would come home for break and the house felt so empty. Frankie and Genie were traveling, and you were gone and Monica moved away–Liandra was abroad. I cried every night of January, missing the way it used to be. So I guess it feels like home when everyone’s home.”

Javi could have predicted the answer because it was the same for him. The emptiest he had ever felt was when he came home a few months ago to no one but his father. Laredo was home because of the people who loved him. 

Laredo felt like home this time around, it didn’t surprise him that New Orleans felt like home this weekend. Maybe it was because you were beside him.

Javi fell asleep at the wheel and you had to steer for a split second. It scared him so badly he allowed you to drive to the nearest motel. When you offered to drive the next stretch he looked to you with a firm scowl and that idea died fast. Locking up the car and paying a skeptically low price in between the border of Texas and Louisiana. 

The two of you crash in bed, your legs sprawled over his chest like a koala. He holds your head in the crook of his neck. If you weren’t so tired you would have taken advantage of another night alone. You tried, slowly making out-all tongue and quiet moans. Until he began to snore and you followed suit. 

Slapping the alarm at 6 am. Brushing your teeth, showering and changing into tiny shorts and a tank. Javier nearly chokes at the sight of you. 

The two of you head out on the road again.

 You’re sad once again once you gain sight of your house. Afraid to face your mother, knowing what you know. Afraid to sympathize with her in a way you never have before. You begin to cry again, practically begging Javier to turn around, begging him to drive to another motel. 

He promises to take you inside, “I’ll talk to her baby, I’ll take care of it. Let me take care of it.” He lets you breathe for a bit while he unloads your bags from the trunk. His sunglasses pushed over his hair, he somehow opened your door for you with busy hands. Leaning against the car, awaiting your strength.

Shutting your eyes tightly, once, then twice, blinking sense into your body. You step out into the stiff heat of home. Hair pooling at the front of your chest, sticking to your face in its natural waves, your eyes swollen, tips of your fingers brushing under your lashes. Drying all that you could. Javier stares at the ground and the two of you cross the street. 

“You head up to your room and unpack, I’ll talk to your mom. I’ll tell her to give you space. She can gather herself before the two of you– you know.” His hand grips the strap of your bag, how desperately he wished his hands were free so he could hold yours. You nod anyway, your own fingers coming up once more to feel the earring pierced in your lobe. It provides a strange swell in Javier’s chest. He was being so kind, offering to talk to your mother but you knew it had to be you first. How you ached to be taken care of, this though, this you had to do. You were in pain, what's a little more?

The front door is open anyway, you step through. 

Frankie, Genie and Melissa are all sat at the island. Frankie’s brows screwed in confusion, a smile splitting Genie’s face and Melissa with a frown. 

To hell with doing this on my own. 

“I’m going to unpack!” You blurt before anyone could utter a hello.

Startling everyone you run upstairs without your bags. Leaving Javier in the entryway with far too many bags for a weekend stay. Flip flops making a shockingly loud noise on the carpeted stairs. You turn the corner, your hands fumbling at the familiar coolness of your doorknob. You throw yourself into bed and immediately begin to panic. To hell with your dad, why was everyone here, for crying out loud? Of all times your selfish brother could stop by– today! You hoped to god Javier was down there using his DEA sweet talking skills. 

God it would be so much easier to snoop if this house wasn’t so damn massive. Goddamn inheritance.

 “Is she alright?” Genevieve asks, setting her tea down. Her shirt is tight enough to reveal the slightest formation of a bump. Frankie is giving Javier a death stare, all serious. Javier chuckles, setting down the bags and walking over to the bar in which they all huddled. Melissa hurried to pour him a glass of sweet tea. Javier nods a thank you. He hopes this conversation is quick so he could come upstairs with you. 

“She–” He sips, his eyes locked with Frankies. He’s trying to kill him with his mind, Javi thinks. He gets it for a second, showing up a day late with his sister who had obviously been crying. Thank god your hair was down, you had been marked up with hickies from the weekend. Javier changed his gaze and locked in on Melissa. “She met her father yesterday.”

Melissa did something Javier has never seen her do. The overly friendly yet passive aggressive lady, the total asshole that ran the Diaz household–Melissa Diaz– dropped her head in shame. 

Burying her face in her hands, not crying, no she doesn’t do that. She breathes slowly through her nose, muttering tiny sentences in Spanish, perhaps prayer. But Javier was distracted by her, distracted enough to miss Frankie having the same reaction. Muttering a Fuck, earning a squeeze from Genevieve. 

Melissa looks up from her hands, a wrecked expression–something between anxious and heartbroken. Javier felt so out of place delivering this news. “So she knows.” 

He nods, his attention turning back to Frankie who was now pacing with the bridge of his nose pinched. Javier understands Melissa, he understands why she never told you. Javier heard all that your father said, it truly had sounded like one of the most heart wrenching experiences a young mother could go through. But Frankie– “You knew?” Javier’s voice booms, he never wants to fight with your brother but Javier’s protective side is noxious. 

Frankie shakes his head, his hand dropping. “Course’ I knew!” He shouts back. 

“Tone it down!” Genie shouts and like always, Frankie listens with a deep breath. Javier calms it too, standing feet away from someone he calls his best friend. He wasn’t sure if that was even the case anymore, maybe if it was ever the case. 

“She was too damn sensitive. We were waiting until she was ready to let her know.” Frankie shakes his head, his eyes locking on the image hanging behind Javier’s head. You with a window space between your teeth in the first grade, eyes shut mid image. Javi has passed the image a million times, he knows the one from the way Frankies angry eyes settle. They settle in the way everyones does when they think of her, when they think of you.

“She’s twenty two.This experience was really hard for her–the-the things he said to her, Frankie.” He’s nearly choked up, his hand shaking as he gestures at the stairs, the anger was building in his chest and it wouldn’t go down. He turns to your mother whose eyes were wide and glassed “And Ms. Diaz, I sympathize with you. I really do. But you knew she was going to see him–she told you and all you could do was make her feel more alone. Threatening to kick her out?”

Frankie’s eyes snapped to his mothers now. “Mom? What?” Her lip quivered and for the first time in her life Frankie looked at his mother as if she wasn't a perfect reflection of mother Mary. Genie scoffs too. For a moment Javi feels bad for her, then his eyes fall to the fridge, fall onto a christmas magnet. Holding up a picture of the two of them on the couch of the church basement, her in a ridiculous dress and him in that cable knit sweater he loved once. 

In black ink,

A.D (16) y J.P (17) 1979.

And he’s reminded of the holidays. 

“I didn’t mean it. She just never listens to me. I told her not to go.” Her voice shook and there were tears, Javier had never seen the woman cry before. Not in this way. “She has a family here, I was hurt that she wanted a relationship with that man!”

Frankies furrowed brow relaxes for a moment and he’s back under the spell of his mother, he steps closer and Genie grabs her hand in comfort. “Mom, it’s alright–”

“Jesus fucking christ.” Javier laughs, rubbing his tired eyes. His eyes are tired of yellow lines, green lights and tearful eyes of the woman he loves. So fucking tired of being the only one who can see clearly even through all this exhaustion. The three shot glances back at Javier. Frankie scoffs an, how dare you curse in front of my crying mother sort of scoff. “You rarely treated that girl like family. She spent Thanksgiving with me! My dad has thrown her birthday parties since she was fourteen! I carried her to my house and my dad patched her knees. So I’m sorry that Andrea’s interest in a family elsewhere hurt your feelings.” Genie has covered her mouth in shock and the looks on your family's face could only be compared to one of a child who was just reprimanded by a teacher.

With his chest rising and falling in anger, Javier points at the fridge. Your mothers eyes snap to the polaroid image of a young tired you and a grinning Javier. 

“Andrea was fifteen in 1979.”

You fell asleep by the time Javier comes up to say goodbye. He watches you curled in a ball in the middle of your bed and he yearns to sneak in next to you. But he couldn't. Instead he opened your drawers and sat at the edge of your bed sorting your luggage. You surely did overpack, he feels a bit guilty for not giving you enough time to dress in all the pretty things you folded neatly. The silence rings out in your room, just enough for him to hear the mess he made down in the kitchen. He stayed as quiet as possible to  hear the bickering from upstairs. 

How dare he speak to me that way! He hears your mothers muffled screech. He also hears words of I’m calling his father. He snickers at that, how stupid. Shaking his head and placing your shorts in your second drawer (the one with the carving of your name in it, where all your shorts went) he surprisingly hears your brother respond. 

He–had a point mom, we haven’t been the best to her. You know that.

Javier freezes with his brows shot high. Javi never really included your brother in the blame until recently. In high school he just thought his best friend was an immature shitty older brother– that's the way brothers were. But the older Javier got older the more he thought about you, the more he thought about your mother and your brother. The more bitter the taste on his tongue settled. From the recent stern talks he had with Frankie he saw that he cared but for things that truly didn’t matter as much. Scalding in anger at the thought of his sister with Javi but completely indifferent to the neglect he cosigned. 

Javier never thought he would hear Frankie agree with him on this topic. So he stayed frozen and quiet enough to hear him.

We tried–I tried. Melissa cries. Javier finds it hard to feel any sympathy for your mother.

Obviously not hard enough–thanksgiving! 

Was that true? She spent thanksgiving alone? Genie’s voice slipped in. 

There was a scoff, It was only three times! 

Javier decides to stop listening.

You wake up at eight in the night and realize your sleep schedule is fucked. You had a week to recover. The upcoming Saturday was finally the wedding and the second round of summer school doesn't pick up again until the end of June. You felt Javier kiss you goodbye in your slumber. You also knew at about 6 pm your mother slipped into your room and spoke to your half asleep body. Your back faced her as your body slept but your mind wasn’t. You could hear words unspoken by her once before. You almost heard sniffling but you weren’t sure. 

He wasn’t ready and I was. I was so angry–I’m still so angry and I take it out on you–Andrea, forgive me. She kisses your shoulder, and your mind tells you to flinch but your sleepy body leans into her rare affection. 

She says I’m sorry, I’m sorry I don’t know to be your mother. 

You're not comforted but you're relieved to hear it. 

You chose not to forgive her. But you listen while she tells you the story of your life in all honesty for the first time. 

Your mom doesn't ask you to take care of your baby sister, you offer it instead. You watch her practice her wedding speech. She cries at each attempt and if you weren’t so upset you would laugh with her about it. You miss Javier dearly, it's only been a day but you suppose you’ve been spoiled rotten by the weekend away. You think of calling him the second you woke up but you decide to cool it. You pick up your sister from the living room floor and walk her around the neighborhood in the new stroller your step-dad bought. You saw them in a catalog a few months back, gasped at the price and closed it quickly. 

You suppose it was nice to be alone, you spent the entire walk thinking of your father, of your mother. You pictured your half sisters, people who hadn’t been a thought in your head until two days ago. You wondered if they suffered differently, maybe they suffered more having a man so cold in their lives. On your way to the park you pass a flyer for Peña’s Ranch Hand, and you don’t cry about your father for the first time. You walk right past the park and end up at Chucho Peña’s residence. Not for Javier, just for his father. 

Don Chucho is smiling ear to ear when he finds you with little Sol, he says “Javi isn’t home mama.” You laugh and surprise him by saying you were here to see him. 

You recline your napping sister and sit at the dinner table, served with sweet tea. You laugh for a few hours while he tells you stories of a young Javier accidentally overfeeding his first fish named, papi, because that was the only word he knew. He tells you he would smell the weed from the basement almost every time, you drop your face in your hands in embarrassment. You all truly thought you were insulation masters with the door crack stuffed with towels. “That smell came straight upstairs, I was just happy you guys weren’t out on the streets you know.”

The sun sets and you thank him for always being there. He kisses your head and says, “You have always been like a daughter to me, thank you.” You decided maybe you could be alright with this little family. 

You reassemble the stroller and the door opens before you could even reach for it. Your face is met by a small breeze and the imposing view of Javier in a suit. His face had been his natural tough set, pouted and bothered to be alive. He doesn’t register it’s you for a moment, but his face softens entirely when he realizes his eyes weren’t deceiving him.  Your lips quirk and your head flies to look behind your shoulder to find the hall completely empty, Chucho out of view. Javier looks too and wastes no time in leaning forward to press a quick kiss to your lips. “Leaving so soon?” He whispers before standing up straight.

You blush like a schoolgirl, gripping the stroller with your life. “Yeah, just wanted to visit your dad.” You jut your chin at your sleeping sister. “Also she fell asleep during our walk.”

Javier’s eyes brighten at the sight of Soleil sleeping so peacefully. “Qué preciosa.” He kneels running his knuckle across her cheek and something in your belly tightens at the sight. “I can take you two home.” He says once she straightens up again, with a groan like an old man. You look out the door behind him, the sky still bright pink and the sun warm. 

“I’ll walk, I’ll call when I get home.” You smile and he nods. You look over your shoulder once more. “See you later baby.” You step on your tip-toes and kiss his cheek, you head on your way. 

Javier watches you leave until you're out of sight and he begins to breathe funny. He’s almost glad it's him that has to leave at the end of this because he can't bear it be you to walk away. 

[pinkandpurple360]

i worry that if asmodeus and fizz split up asmodeus would just be depressed forever 💀

like yeah eat the rich and all but boy literally was telling fizz he’s the best thing to ever happen to him in his ~6000 years of living. like picture finally having the one thing you never thought you could/should/would, then losing it (even if for valid reasons), and being implicitly/explicitly told you shouldn’t do the thing you never thought you’d do that brought you happiness because of how you exist. doubly so if lilith/sarah are canon. like a pandora’s box. he could never go back to feeling how he did pre-fizz love again.

idk man ain’t perfect and no one’s owed anything including a relationship, but that’s my big hurdle right now regarding blitzfizz. guy seems so happy, but fizz doesn’t always. stolas can choke tho idc about his feelings

God the way people baby this man. One fanfic/AU and everyone wants my head lol. This is all reminding me of how Edward used to be talking about Bella. It’s the same way for Stolas. There’s no happy ending here no matter which way it goes.

Having your first love ripped away by tragic circumstances and kept apart by lies is fine if they’re both imps, but a rich person having to part with their first crush?? Unthinkable. They’ll literally explode and die without them. I just don’t get why rich sheltered characters get so much more gentleness and extra care.

As it stands those two Goetia are basically stans of the two imps with no life outside of them, isolating themselves from the people who’ve always been there for them by ignoring or causing animosity with them, all for the sake of their obsessive secret sex buddy or partner….that’s romance?

How is this show claiming to be in the maturity level of Bojack when you guys can’t even handle a Diane and Mr Peanutbutter level of breakup? You feel that way, because his character is just being obsessed with Fizz. His life spins entirely around him and around sex he’s painfully one dimensional. Also he’s a tragic character no matter when and how they separate. They can’t break up because Oz will cry and cry and never stop crying forever. Doesn’t the fact it’s all based on a lie bother anyone? This is clearly some type of setup going on.

Being implicitly explicitly told that—-stop right there because. False. There is no ‘you should never have that’ Love changes you and just because you break up with your favourite performer doesn’t mean “oh I can never ever love ever again” like damn.

I don’t even think this has anything to do with blitzfizz or shipping in general I wouldn’t even mind if Fizz stayed single at the end as long as he was happy again and his world was more than his sugar daddy.