#but I can't let go of the horned haunt

[theartingace]

up too late once again in the name of continuing to attempt to visualize a voice in Arthur's head: return of bedsheet John; now with TEETH

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Cleantech has an enshittification problem

On July 14, I'm giving the closing keynote for the fifteenth HACKERS ON PLANET EARTH, in QUEENS, NY. Happy Bastille Day! On July 20, I'm appearing in CHICAGO at Exile in Bookville.

EVs won't save the planet. Ultimately, the material bill for billions of individual vehicles and the unavoidable geometry of more cars-more traffic-more roads-greater distances-more cars dictate that the future of our cities and planet requires public transit – lots of it.

But no matter how much public transit we install, there's always going to be some personal vehicles on the road, and not just bikes, ebikes and scooters. Between deliveries, accessibility, and stubbornly low-density regions, there's going to be a lot of cars, vans and trucks on the road for the foreseeable future, and these should be electric.

Beyond that irreducible minimum of personal vehicles, there's the fact that individuals can't install their own public transit system; in places that lack the political will or means to create working transit, EVs are a way for people to significantly reduce their personal emissions.

In policy circles, EV adoption is treated as a logistical and financial issue, so governments have focused on making EVs affordable and increasing the density of charging stations. As an EV owner, I can affirm that affordability and logistics were important concerns when we were shopping for a car.

But there's a third EV problem that is almost entirely off policy radar: enshittification.

An EV is a rolling computer in a fancy case with a squishy person inside of it. While this can sound scary, there are lots of cool implications for this. For example, your EV could download your local power company's tariff schedule and preferentially charge itself when the rates are lowest; they could also coordinate with the utility to reduce charging when loads are peaking. You can start them with your phone. Your repair technician can run extensive remote diagnostics on them and help you solve many problems from the road. New features can be delivered over the air.

That's just for starters, but there's so much more in the future. After all, the signal virtue of a digital computer is its flexibility. The only computer we know how to make is the Turing complete, universal, Von Neumann machine, which can run every valid program. If a feature is computationally tractable – from automated parallel parking to advanced collision prevention – it can run on a car.

The problem is that this digital flexibility presents a moral hazard to EV manufacturers. EVs are designed to make any kind of unauthorized, owner-selected modification into an IP rights violation ("IP" in this case is "any law that lets me control the conduct of my customers or competitors"):

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

EVs are also designed so that the manufacturer can unilaterally exert control over them or alter their operation. EVs – even more than conventional vehicles – are designed to be remotely killswitched in order to help manufacturers and dealers pressure people into paying their car notes on time:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon

Manufacturers can reach into your car and change how much of your battery you can access:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world

They can lock your car and have it send its location to a repo man, then greet him by blinking its lights, honking its horn, and pulling out of its parking space:

https://tiremeetsroad.com/2021/03/18/tesla-allegedly-remotely-unlocks-model-3-owners-car-uses-smart-summon-to-help-repo-agent/

And of course, they can detect when you've asked independent mechanic to service your car and then punish you by degrading its functionality:

https://www.repairerdrivennews.com/2024/06/26/two-of-eight-claims-in-tesla-anti-trust-lawsuit-will-move-forward/

This is "twiddling" – unilaterally and irreversibly altering the functionality of a product or service, secure in the knowledge that IP law will prevent anyone from twiddling back by restoring the gadget to a preferred configuration:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

The thing is, for an EV, twiddling is the best case scenario. As bad as it is for the company that made your EV to change how it works whenever they feel like picking your pocket, that's infinitely preferable to the manufacturer going bankrupt and bricking your car.

That's what just happened to owners of Fisker EVs, cars that cost $40-70k. Cars are long-term purchases. An EV should last 12-20 years, or even longer if you pay to swap the battery pack. Fisker was founded in 2016 and shipped its first Ocean SUV in 2023. The company is now bankrupt:

https://insideevs.com/news/723669/fisker-inc-bankruptcy-chapter-11-official/

Fisker called its vehicles "software-based cars" and they weren't kidding. Without continuous software updates and server access, those Fisker Ocean SUVs are turning into bricks. What's more, the company designed the car from the ground up to make any kind of independent service and support into a felony, by wrapping the whole thing in overlapping layers of IP. That means that no one can step in with a module that jailbreaks the Fisker and drops in an alternative firmware that will keep the fleet rolling.

This is the third EV risk – not just finance, not just charger infrastructure, but the possibility that any whizzy, cool new EV company will go bust and brick your $70k cleantech investment, irreversibly transforming your car into 5,500 lb worth of e-waste.

This confers a huge advantage onto the big automakers like VW, Kia, Ford, etc. Tesla gets a pass, too, because it achieved critical mass before people started to wise up to the risk of twiddling and bricking. If you're making a serious investment in a product you expect to use for 20 years, are you really gonna buy it from a two-year old startup with six months' capital in the bank?

The incumbency advantage here means that the big automakers won't have any reason to sink a lot of money into R&D, because they won't have to worry about hungry startups with cool new ideas eating their lunches. They can maintain the cozy cartel that has seen cars stagnate for decades, with the majority of "innovation" taking the form of shitty, extractive and ill-starred ideas like touchscreen controls and an accelerator pedal that you have to rent by the month:

https://www.theverge.com/2022/11/23/23474969/mercedes-car-subscription-faster-acceleration-feature-price

Put that way, it's clear that this isn't an EV problem, it's a cleantech problem. Cleantech has all the problems of EVs: it requires a large capital expenditure, it will be "smart," and it is expected to last for decades. That's rooftop solar, heat-pumps, smart thermostat sensor arrays, and home storage batteries.

And just as with EVs, policymakers have focused on infrastructure and affordability without paying any attention to the enshittification risks. Your rooftop solar will likely be controlled via a Solaredge box – a terrible technology that stops working if it can't reach the internet for a protracted period (that's right, your home solar stops working if the grid fails!).

I found this out the hard way during the covid lockdowns, when Solaredge terminated its 3G cellular contract and notified me that I would have to replace the modem in my system or it would stop working. This was at the height of the supply-chain crisis and there was a long waiting list for any replacement modems, with wifi cards (that used your home internet rather than a cellular connection) completely sold out for most of a year.

There are good reasons to connect rooftop solar arrays to the internet – it's not just so that Solaredge can enshittify my service. Solar arrays that coordinate with the grid can make it much easier and safer to manage a grid that was designed for centralized power production and is being retrofitted for distributed generation, one roof at a time.

But when the imperatives of extraction and efficiency go to war, extraction always wins. After all, the Solaredge system is already in place and solar installers are largely ignorant of, and indifferent to, the reasons that a homeowner might want to directly control and monitor their system via local controls that don't roundtrip through the cloud.

Somewhere in the hindbrain of any prospective solar purchaser is the experience with bricked and enshittified "smart" gadgets, and the knowledge that anything they buy from a cool startup with lots of great ideas for improving production, monitoring, and/or costs poses the risk of having your 20 year investment bricked after just a few years – and, thanks to the extractive imperative, no one will be able to step in and restore your ex-solar array to good working order.

I make the majority of my living from books, which means that my pay is very "lumpy" – I get large sums when I publish a book and very little in between. For many years, I've used these payments to make big purchases, rather than financing them over long periods where I can't predict my income. We've used my book payments to put in solar, then an induction stove, then a battery. We used one to buy out the lease on our EV. And just a month ago, we used the money from my upcoming Enshittification book to put in a heat pump (with enough left over to pay for a pair of long-overdue cataract surgeries, scheduled for the fall).

When we started shopping for heat pumps, it was clear that this was a very exciting sector. First of all, heat pumps are kind of magic, so efficient and effective it's almost surreal. But beyond the basic tech – which has been around since the late 1940s – there is a vast ferment of cool digital features coming from exciting and innovative startups.

By nature, I'm the kid of person who likes these digital features. I started out as a computer programmer, and while I haven't written production code since the previous millennium, I've been in and around the tech industry for my whole adult life. But when it came time to buy a heat-pump – an investment that I expected to last for 20 years or more – there was no way I was going to buy one of these cool new digitally enhanced pumps, no matter how much the reviewers loved them. Sure, they'd work well, but it's precisely because I'm so knowledgeable about high tech that I could see that they would fail very, very badly.

You may think EVs are bullshit, and they are – though there will always be room for some personal vehicles, and it's better for people in transit deserts to drive EVs than gas-guzzlers. You may think rooftop solar is a dead-end and be all-in on utility scale solar (I think we need both, especially given the grid-disrupting extreme climate events on our horizon). But there's still a wide range of cleantech – induction tops, heat pumps, smart thermostats – that are capital intensive, have a long duty cycle, and have good reasons to be digitized and networked.

Take home storage batteries: your utility can push its rate card to your battery every time they change their prices, and your battery can use that information to decide when to let your house tap into the grid, and when to switch over to powering your home with the solar you've stored up during the day. This is a very old and proven pattern in tech: the old Fidonet BBS network used a version of this, with each BBS timing its calls to other nodes to coincide with the cheapest long-distance rates, so that messages for distant systems could be passed on:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FidoNet

Cleantech is a very dynamic sector, even if its triumphs are largely unheralded. There's a quiet revolution underway in generation, storage and transmission of renewable power, and a complimentary revolution in power-consumption in vehicles and homes:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/12/s-curve/#anything-that-cant-go-on-forever-eventually-stops

But cleantech is too important to leave to the incumbents, who are addicted to enshittification and planned obsolescence. These giant, financialized firms lack the discipline and culture to make products that have the features – and cost savings – to make them appealing to the very wide range of buyers who must transition as soon as possible, for the sake of the very planet.

It's not enough for our policymakers to focus on financing and infrastructure barriers to cleantech adoption. We also need a policy-level response to enshittification.

Ideally, every cleantech device would be designed so that it was impossible to enshittify – which would also make it impossible to brick:

Based on free software (best), or with source code escrowed with a trustee who must release the code if the company enters administration (distant second-best);

All patents in a royalty-free patent-pool (best); or in a trust that will release them into a royalty-free pool if the company enters administration (distant second-best);

No parts-pairing or other DRM permitted (best); or with parts-pairing utilities available to all parties on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis (distant second-best);

All diagnostic and error codes in the public domain, with all codes in the clear within the device (best); or with decoding utilities available on demand to all comers on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis (distant second-best).

There's an obvious business objection to this: it will reduce investment in innovative cleantech because investors will perceive these restrictions as limits on the expected profits of their portfolio companies. It's true: these measures are designed to prevent rent-extraction and other enshittificatory practices by cleantech companies, and to the extent that investors are counting on enshittification rents, this might prevent them from investing.

But that has to be balanced against the way that a general prohibition on enshittificatory practices will inspire consumer confidence in innovative and novel cleantech products, because buyers will know that their investments will be protected over the whole expected lifespan of the product, even if the startup goes bust (nearly every startup goes bust). These measures mean that a company with a cool product will have a much larger customer-base to sell to. Those additional sales more than offset the loss of expected revenue from cheating and screwing your customers by twiddling them to death.

There's also an obvious legal objection to this: creating these policies will require a huge amount of action from Congress and the executive branch, a whole whack of new rules and laws to make them happen, and each will attract court-challenges.

That's also true, though it shouldn't stop us from trying to get legal reforms. As a matter of public policy, it's terrible and fucked up that companies can enshittify the things we buy and leave us with no remedy.

However, we don't have to wait for legal reform to make this work. We can take a shortcut with procurement – the things governments buy with public money. The feds, the states and localities buy a lot of cleantech: for public facilities, for public housing, for public use. Prudent public policy dictates that governments should refuse to buy any tech unless it is designed to be enshittification-resistant.

This is an old and honorable tradition in policymaking. Lincoln insisted that the rifles he bought for the Union Army come with interoperable tooling and ammo, for obvious reasons. No one wants to be the Commander in Chief who shows up on the battlefield and says, "Sorry, boys, war's postponed, our sole supplier decided to stop making ammunition."

By creating a market for enshittification-proof cleantech, governments can ensure that the public always has the option of buying an EV that can't be bricked even if the maker goes bust, a heat-pump whose digital features can be replaced or maintained by a third party of your choosing, a solar controller that coordinates with the grid in ways that serve their owners – not the manufacturers' shareholders.

We're going to have to change a lot to survive the coming years. Sure, there's a lot of scary ways that things can go wrong, but there's plenty about our world that should change, and plenty of ways those changes could be for the better. It's not enough for policymakers to focus on ensuring that we can afford to buy whatever badly thought-through, extractive tech the biggest companies want to foist on us – we also need a focus on making cleantech fit for purpose, truly smart, reliable and resilient.

Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/26/unplanned-obsolescence/#better-micetraps

Image: 臺灣古寫真上色 (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Raid_on_Kagi_City_1945.jpg

Grendelkhan (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ground_mounted_solar_panels.gk.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

[hamartia-grander]

i still have yet to play bg3 so i still dont go here yet but Wyll seems literally like one of the most compelling characters of all time and im not even joking. I havent even played the GAME but his character arc haunts me /pos. people are literally just racist to say that he isn't compelling

LITERALLY. He's utterly fascinating. He is a folk hero, a legend, the fantasy equivalent of superman. He's a warlock who is secretly pacted to a devil. He hates devils. He's an incredible liar. He's incredibly sincere. He's silly. He unironically enjoys puns and clowns. He over-exaggerates his Blade personality because it amuses him. He sometimes doesn't know where The Blade ends and Wyll begins. His hero-ness is a performance; not to hide ill intent, but to hide a broken man, to hide weaknesses and fears. It's who he is. It's always been a distant thing, a mask. It's who he thinks he must be. He loves freely and openly and will let anyone know it. He's only ever wanted to know he's loved. He still thinks his father's inability to trust or believe in him was all his fault. He still thinks that every bit of suffering he's ever experienced was all his fault. He thinks admitting to suffering would be disrespectful to the lives he's saved. He thinks he has to suffer or else his sacrifices were worthless. He thinks it couldn't be a sacrifice if he didn't suffer for it. He would take any suffering if it meant lessening someone else's. He is the first person to stand up for someone's life and safety, the first person to defend someone's worth and autonomy. He is the last person to do so for himself. He is of the least importance to himself.

He needs to be needed, because if he's not needed then what good is his power and the soul he sacrificed for the pact to get it? And if he can't be needed then he throws himself into the fray without hesitation because his purpose has always been to sacrifice himself so others may live. His life has always been one of sacrifice. His life has been recompense since the second he was born and his mother passed as a result. He saves lives to make up for it. It will never be enough to him. It will always be everything to those he saves. He just wants to be seen for who he truly is. He thinks if no one can see him for who he is then maybe it isn't who he is, and maybe he's fooled them all, fooled himself into thinking he can be a better person, be the hero they need. He wants to be known by someone. He's terrified of someone looking deeper. He sees others for who they are. He's a monster hunter who does not hunt the typical definition of "monster", who knows that monsters are not the ones with fangs and horns in his group of friends but the men who look harmless yet cause endless death and suffering to others. Not even the threat of his life was enough to get him to harm an innocent.

He wants to be chosen. He cannot fathom that someone would choose him. He chooses others over himself every time. He has so much love for others. He thinks he must constantly earn love. He is shocked when someone simply loves him. He thinks he cannot love and lead at the same time. His only role model was a father who could never put his son before his city. He is capable of immense anger. He is capable of immense kindness. He purposefully chooses the latter; he works hard to not let his anger consume him. He's still angry over things that happened a near decade ago. He thinks feeling hurt is the same as being angry and so he can't be hurt. He's always hurting. He takes pride in his achievements and he does not underestimate himself. He's not religious. He devotes himself to his cause with the dedication of the most pious believer. He stands by his friends in any battle, against any struggle. He stands against them if they choose to threaten lives. He holds on to those he cares about with bloody knuckles and teeth bared because loss has always been the hardest pain for him to bear. He has lost everything. He gives every part of himself to others. He cannot lose anyone else. He thinks he can do anything because he refuses to believe any alternative. Because he could not survive any alternative. He thinks his intent is as important as his actions, and so he must always intend to do the right thing.

He does not tolerate his boundaries being pushed or his father being disrespected. He tolerates any judgment because he thinks he deserves it. He defends his status as the Blade of Frontiers. He thinks the fear caused by his devil form is a fault of his own that he must work to fix. He hates the patriars and their farce diplomacy, their lethal hypocrisy. He thinks his father is infallible. He does not hold himself to the same regard as he holds everyone else. He thinks its okay if it only hurts him. Anything is okay as long as it only hurts him. He has to keep fighting to prove he can be a hero. He is so, so tired. He cannot for one second admit to wanting for anything, because once he starts he might not be able to stop wanting. He cannot accept that he deserves to not suffer, too, because if he does he might not be strong enough to continue suffering so others might suffer less. He might not want to suffer. He thinks he cannot regret any decision he's made, he cannot regret his pact, because it would be a dishonour to the good he's done with it. He thinks that saying he regrets his pact would be saying he regrets every life he's saved with it and he would never regret saving lives so he cannot regret his pact. He's accepted that his freedom will always be the cost of saving lives. He desperately wants to be free. His life has never been his own, to him. He thinks every choice he's ever made was his own, alone.

He is very complex. He simplifies himself to be easily accepted by others. People fall for it easily. He just needs one person to look closer. He's afraid of what they'll find if they do. He doesn't keep his cards close to his chest, he meticulously chooses which cards to hold at all. Which parts of himself are worth losing if need be. How much of himself he has to keep close in order to keep being himself. He has seen the worst that the world has to offer. He chooses every day to be kind, to see the best in things, in others. He chooses to care. He holds onto his pain because it's proof that he cares. There are several pathways that don't connect quite right in his brain which you'll notice after a few conversations with him. He is wise beyond his years. He is my favourite guy ever

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🌈 Queer Books Coming Out in August 2024 🌈

🌈 Good afternoon, my bookish bats! Here are a FEW of the stunning, diverse queer books you can add to your TBR before the year is over. Happy reading!

[ Text list below ⤵ ]

❓What was the last queer book you read?

[ Release dates may have changed. ]

❤️ Failure to Comply - Sarah Cavar 🧡 I Spit On Your Celluloid - Heidi Honeycutt 💛 You're Embarrassing Yourself - Desiree Akhavan 💚 Death of the Hero - Briona Johnson 💙 Between Dragons and Their Wrath - Devin Madson 💜 The Crimson Crown - Heather Walter ❤️ Sacrificial Animals - Kailee Pedersen 🧡 Oath of Fire - K. Arsenault Rivera 💛 The Palace of Eros - Caro De Robertis 💙 This Ravenous Fate - Hayley Dennings 💜 Mistress of Lies - K.M. Enright 🌈 Wolf Bite - T.J. Nichols

❤️ In the Valley, A Shadow - Samantha Tano 🧡 Follow My Lead - Adrian J. Smith 💛 The Last Woman I Kissed - Venetia Di Pierro 💚 Full Shift - Jennifer Dugan & Kristen Seaton 💙 Hers for the Weekend - Helena Greer 💜 Come Out, Come Out - Natalie C. Parker ❤️ Rules for Ghosting - Shelly Jay Shore 🧡 How to Leave the House - Nathan Newman 💛 Plot Twist - Carmen Sereno 💙 On the Far Side of a Crescendo - Kalyn Hazel 💜 Tiny Oblivions and Mutual Self Destructions - Maxwell I. Gold 🌈 Daylan and the River of Secrets - Edd Tello

❤️ The Italy Letters - Vi Khi Nao 🧡 The Gender Binary Is a Big Lie - Lee Wind 💚 The House Where Death Lives - Alex Brown 💙 Ash's Cabin - Jen Wang 💜 The Avian Hourglass - Lindsey Drager ❤️ The Heart Wants - Krystina Rivers 🧡 A Grand Love - Janna Barkin 💛 You Can't Go Home Again - Jeanette Bears 💜 Libertad - Bessie Flores Zaldivar 🌈 Her Golden Coast - Anat Deracine

❤️ Mighty Millie Novak - Elizabeth Holden 💛 Rise and Divine - Lana Harper 💚 Dying for You - L Flowers 💙 I'll Have What He's Having - Adib Khorram 💜 Changing Her Tune - Amanda Kabak ❤️ Monogamy? In this Economy? - Laura Boyle 🧡 The Rainbow Age of Television - Sayna Maci Warner 💛 Medusa of the Roses - Navid Sinaki 💙 Confounding Oaths - Alexis Hall 💜 Idol Lives - K.T. Salvo 🌈 Brother's Keeper - Quinn Cameron

❤️ Key Lime Sky - Al Hess 🧡 Crushing It - Erin Becker 💛 The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou 💚 Not for the Faint of Heart - Lex Croucher 💙 Tasting Temptation - JJ Arias 💜 Ami - S. Jae-Jones ❤️ You're the Problem, It's You - Emma R. Alban 🧡 Cubs & Campfires - Dylan Drakes 💛 The Dark We Know - Wen-yi Lee 💙 Practical Rules for Cursed Witches - Kayla Cottingham 💜 Riyati Rebirth - Kalani Shimizu 🌈 The Brujos of Borderland High - Gume Laurel III

❤️ A Bánh Mì for Two - Trinity Nguyen 🧡 Dance of the Starlit Sea - Kiana Krystle 💛 Scattered Snows, to the North - Carl Phillips 💚 Beyond a World Apart - Caitlin Myers 💙 Don't Let It Break Your Heart - Maggie Horne 💜 Nothing Heals Me Like You Do - Harper Bliss ❤️ How It All Ends - Emma Hunsinger 🧡 How Do I Sexy? - Mx. Nillin Lore 💛 The Palace of Eros - Caro De Robertis 💙 Prince of the Palisades - Julian Winters 💜 Better Left Buried - Mary E. Roach 🌈 Back to Back - Jo Fletcher

❤️ DITCHLAPSE / [REALLY AFRAID] - Tommy Wyatt 🧡 The Love Archives: Bonus Scenes & Excerpts for Palestine - Various 💛 Guardian: Zhen Hun - Ying Priest 💚 The Sunforge - Sascha Stronach 💙 Queering Reproductive Justice - Candace Bond-Theriault 💜 Gender Explained - Diane Ehrensaft & Michelle Jurkiewicz ❤️ The Unlikely Pair - Jax Calder 🧡 In Universes - Emet North 💛 We Love the Nightlife - Rachel Koller Croft 💙 Lessons from Cruising - Martin Goodman 💜 Wild Ginger in the Rhubarb - Eule Grey 🌈 Not My Circus - Delicia Niami

❤️ Asunder - Kerstin Hall 🧡 The Phoenix Keeper - S.A. MacLean 💛 Encounters with James Baldwin - Various 💚 Verity's Game - Jennifer Giacalone 💙 Hunt Me! I Crave the Chase - Fae Quin 💜 The Audacity Omnibus - Carmen Loup ❤️ Haunted to Death - Frank Anthony Polito 🧡 Blood Orange - Paige Grunewald 💛 The Bad Things We Did - Chris Archeske 💙 Dark Restraint - Katee Robert 💜 Worth the Wait - Kenna White 🌈 The Maid and the Crocodile - Jordan Ifueko

❤️ Loving Corrections - Adrienne Maree Brown 🧡 The Last Witch in Edinburgh - Marielle Thompson 💛 The Duchess of Kokora - Nikhil Prabala 💚 The Scales of Seduction - Rien Gray 💙 Survival Is a Promise - Alexis Pauline Gumbs 💜 Loka - S.B. Divya ❤️ The Every Body Book of Consent - Rachel E Simon 🧡 Southern Lights - Liz Arncliffe 💛 Then Things Went Dark - Bea Fitzgerald 💙 Death at Morning House - Maureen Johnson 💜 The Last Doorbell - William Parker 🌈 The Pairing - Casey McQuiston

[dent-de-leon]

All Caleb Widogast can taste is ash, the soot and smoke turning everything pitch black. Heat still searing the palms of his hands, boiling his blood. Before him a face burns, the flames cresting higher and higher, a roaring beacon in the darkness. The face is a stranger, eyeless sockets hollow and empty, mere kindling for the fire.

The face is his Mother, his Father. Astrid and Wulf and every good thing he'd ever burned.

He falls to his knees with a last, desperate cry--a curse, a prayer--begging for any and all gods to hear him, save him, change his wretched fate. All his life, Caleb Widogast had never known faith, never dared to invoke it. But deep down in the marrow of his bones, in whatever hell he's buried his heart, a part of him still clings to hope. Redemption. Salvation. An anguished plea for some force in this cruel world to set him free. Someone--anyone. Help me. Please.

And then, all at once, the world was quiet. He breathed with choked up, ragged gasps, and the air was clear--all the soot and ash drifting away. The roaring blaze dissipated into dying sparks and dull embers, just a winding cloud of smoke swallowed up by the chill night air, the smoldering heat at his fingertips going numb.

A figure stood towering above his prone form--a mere shadow one moment, but bathed in glistening moonlight the next. Curled horns glinted and gleamed with all manner of little baubles and golden charms, a forked tail darting out and swaying playfully behind him.

He's draped in a parade of vibrant color, ornate coat emblazoned with the symbol of every deity across the pantheon, the lining a sea of shimmering silvery moons. Each stitch of embroidery delicately woven with care, intricate beadwork and crystals glinting in the moonlight.

Caleb could see the Moonweaver's gossamer light in him, the way his eyes glinted with her playful mischief.

The tiefling spins and twirls with that roaring, ringing laughter, his coat fluttering in a blur of crimson as the wind kicks in. And before Caleb could protest, he's caught up in that wild dance; warm hands reach out and find him in the darkness, casting him back into the light.

And Caleb gladly welcomes that tender touch.

Hands joined with his partner, steps lighter than air. Caleb lets him take the lead, following after in a dance he's always known. He can't help but gravitate toward this shining soul, as inescapable as Catha caught in Exandria's pull. They beckon, and Caleb can only follow.

As their dance descends into its final steps, the tiefling whispers in his ear. A soft lilt to his cadence, charming and musical.

"Why so surprised, Magician? You asked me for help, didn't you?" A hint of amusement colored his words, warm and playful.

Not you, Caleb thinks, fleeting iconography of the pantheon flickering in his mind. This was not the noble Dawnfather, the Lawmaster, the Knowing Mistress--none of the…appropriate gods his family prayed to under the strict reign of the Empire. This was a heathen god, some interloper. One of the dangerous idols he was always warned about.

The stranger circled Caleb, eyeing him appraisingly as his gaze trailed over the wizard's haunted stare and torn clothes. The tattered, fraying bandages he'd stolen years ago. The fresh bruises just beginning to bloom.

Caleb backs away, unable to bear the piercing focus of that unerring gaze, the way this stranger could see his whole hollowed out heart with but a glance. His eyes--all his red eyes, shining bright--seeing everything.

"Who are you?" he demands, head held high, even as his voice starts to shake. What are you?

The tiefling advances. Drawing another step closer, a hand outstretched in welcome--all Caleb wants is to take it.

"I'm...a friend," he says amicably, bearing all his teeth in a sharp-toothed grin.

For some reason, Caleb isn't afraid.

Gentle claws skim his skin with the barest touch, drifting down his cheek in a fond caress.

"Your dreams called to me, Magician. You're...interesting, and I'm curious. And more importantly--you cried out for help. Do I need any other reason?"

His gaze, his voice--they soften, melt--soothing him as the glistening sky above bleeds away into inky black darkness. No starlight, no moons. Just them, tucked away in this little patch of shadowed solace where the nightmares can't reach him, where the flames don't still burn.

The only heat is the tiefling's arms around him, wrapping him in a warm embrace. The delicate press of his lips to Caleb's sweat sheened forehead. It feels like a gift, a promise; solace and grace and the first gentle touch he's known in so long. Devotion so divine it feels purely mortal.

"Consider this my blessing--and an invitation. May the Monweaver watch over you, Magician."

"What are you offering?" Caleb rasped. He can feel the rest of the world slipping away, can feel the taste of ash and soot clawing up the back of his throat.

"Nothing much. Just a bit of luck. And some dreams. Sleep tight, Mr. Caleb--you've had enough nightmares for one life."

When he awoke, the flames were gone.

[delopsia]

Conquer Your Demons | Rhett Abbott x Reader

Word Count: 3,300 Cross Posted on AO3 Warnings & Notes: 18+, AFAB!Reader, demon!Rhett, food mentions, unprotected sex, blatantly defiling a church, cunnilingus, mild cum eating, post-coital cuddles. Usage of the Standing Amazon Position in the beginning (in case my description was too vague)🧡 Perry Abbott is on fire. Brief Summary: Fuck, you hope nobody comes to check in on how this whole cleansing process is going. Because there is nothing that can possibly explain the sight of a demon on his knees, eating you out on the altar. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm—"

"It's a little bit late for that, don't you think?" You hum, voice echoing, bouncing off the bare walls of this old, one-room church. Ricocheting through unoccupied, dusty pews and rattling up into the rafters. Built centuries ago, has been witness to hundreds of Sunday sermons, weddings, and funerals.

But never has it been witness to something like this. 

"No, no, no, please," Rhett's sweaty chest heaves, keening high in his throat, your cunt clamping down around his twitching cock like a vice. His ankles quiver against your shoulders, fluttering like leaves in a bracing breeze. "I'll be good. I'll be good."

His tail thrashes between your legs, smacking against your thighs. Horns knocking into the wooden table as his head rolls back and forth, trying to shake you away like a bed dream. Skin glistening in the dancing candlelight, muscles rippling, flexing as he squirms. Your fingertips pinch at a soft nipple, awestruck by how his back arches, jolting up from the edge of the table. 

"You should have thought of that before you tried to kill Pastor Perry," your greedy hands run across his burning skin. Roaming the vast expanse of his upper body, tickling down his sides, feeling the subtle grooves of his ribcage. So perfectly compressed, knees mere inches away from being pressed up against his chest, powerless to let you have your way with him and his cock. 

Your shoes click against the floor as you raise yourself up, knees straightening to allow yourself the room to reach down to where your bodies meet. 

"That bastard had it comin'—aa!" His hissed words cut short by the gentle squeeze of your hand around his balls. A poorly concealed warning. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry!"

And you really should be giving him more hell for that. Make him lay still while you press his pale knees into his chest and make him beg you to move. Completely, utterly powerless in this position. 

But you can't focus, not with the way the pale undersides of his thighs tremble beneath your palms. Already pushed to his limits, and you've just sunk down onto him less than two minutes ago. 

"Are you close already, cowboy?" You coo, squeezing the meat of his thighs in your hands, feeling how they flex in your grasp. 

His hair shakes as he nods his head with a whimper of a "uhuh." Those pretty blue eyes falling shut, breathy noises whittling out of his throat with every breath. 

For a demon, he sure looks like an angel. 

Sounds like it too. 

"But I haven't even gotten started with you yet," your words whiny, bottom lip jutting out to create a false pout, feigning disappointment. 

Stradling him in this position is difficult. Riding him would have been a much easier solution, and your knees surely would have thanked you for it, but there's something about this that has your heart speeding up. Rhett fucking Abbott. The deity that's been haunting Wabang for the past six years, on his back, thighs to his chest, whimpering as you begin to move. Working yourself up and down his cock that's peeking so prettily from between his thighs. 

Pearly white teeth glint in the light as his mouth falls open, unable to shut it. "Thank you, thank...thank—" your fingers delve between his lips. Unfearing as they spread out, dancing past razor-sharp canines. A short, hot tongue laps against them, twisting between each digit, sucking lazily.

"Look at you," you're musing aloud, unable to keep yourself quiet as you find your pace. Button-down shirt clinging to your overheated skin, sweat brought on by the way his leaking cock head drills up into you. The gentle curve allowing him to drag so wondrously against your g-spot, the little bundle of nerves tingling with every touch. "Aren't you supposed to be scary, cowboy?"

Those horns bump into the sides of the table once more, his head thrashing, unable to do anything more than just that. Tries to speak, but the fingers in his mouth muffle him, intelligible words vibrating through your hand and up into your arm.

"What would the townsfolk think if they saw you like this?" You're painfully aware of what your words are doing to him, those midnight blue eyes flashing open, only for them to roll back into his head. Such a sight that only serves to send a wave of heat between your legs. "The big bad demon, getting fucked in the only church in town?" 

Oh, how you can hear the town gossip now. The same gaggle of ladies, aghast as they discuss the sins committed atop the altar. Fanning their faces with their hands and speaking as if they are higher than thou.

Their loss. 

Because you are the only person who gets to experience this. 

The sweet burn in your thighs as you ride him, hips working in their favorite, languid rhythm. Your head fuzzy with the way his thick cock fills you, rubbing past every little sensitive area, nerves alight. Saliva coats your hand, shimmering beneath the candlelight like it's trying to put on a show.

"Baby, you're drooling everywhere..." pulling your dripping fingers from his mouth in favor of seizing him by the jaw. Two days' worth of unshaven scruff scratching at your skin.

Rhett's body jerks upward, snapping up into your cunt with a strength he shouldn't have. "M' gonna...baby..." His arms wind around his thighs, pulling them from your shoulders and up against his chest. Squeezing them tight, like he needs something to keep him from bursting. 

"Close already, pretty boy?" Dropping from his jaw, your hand roams down his neck. Doesn't stop until your wet fingertips find a dusky pink nipple, pinching it, if only to see him jolt.

Those pretty curls bounce as he nods his head, "Uhuh." So weak and breathy. Punctuated by a choked whimper.

"Come on then," taunting, fighting to keep your own voice level. You can already feel the way he's beginning to twitch inside of you, bumping up into those little nerves. "Cum in me like a good boy."

One of his hands snaps up. Clamping down over his mouth just in time to muffle what sounds like a squeal. Suddenly afraid to hear his own noises. Palm trembling like a leaf. Jittery. So out of control that there's not a bit of resistance when you reach up to pull it away. 

"You can do it, come on," you can't catch your own breath. Fuck, it's like he was designed to get you worked up. Your body hard to control as your walls flutter around his cock, spasming with something that makes your eyes unfocus. 

A cry catches in Rhett's throat. Cut off by the sudden convulsion of his hips, cumming with a silent noise that rattles through your ears. Familiar heat spills inside of you, his eyelashes fluttering like butterflies. 

Oh, he's so pretty like this. Face lax, almost peaceful. Until it's not. Scrunching shut, nose wrinkling, a string of confused whimpers sputtering past his thin lips. Because you're still moving. Bringing yourself up, only to sink back down on his softening cock, uncaring of the growing discomfort.

"What's the matter, cowboy?" You tease, your hands hooking beneath the backs of his knees, unwilling to let them fall off to the sides. 

"Can't," his voice unusually pitchy, "Sensitive—!" 

You can feel it. The way he twitches with your every movement. Too overstimulated to handle anything more but unable to wriggle away from it. His hands clamp down over top of yours, squeezing, needs to hang onto something. 

"You can take it," you don't know if it's meant to be encouragement or a reminder, but you're saying it regardless, "You've done it before."

That little bull tail of his is swishing between your thighs, smacking against the sensitive skin there on its own accord. He's lucky you can't reach down and squeeze it at the base, hold it down until he gives you what you want. 

There's a newfound ache in your knees as you begin to move quicker, chasing the feeling of his spent cock working in and out of you. Seeking that little spot that he's no longer hitting. Cum spilling out, running down your thighs, and falling to the hardwood floor.

"Baby, baby, please I—" his tongue loose in his mouth, "I'm—I'm sorry!" 

Too little too late. 

He should have thought of the consequences when he decided to knock that candle onto pastor Perry's coattails and set him ablaze in the middle of service. No matter how you twist it, such an act doesn't qualify as a mild haunting. A little something spooky that remains harmless. 

Your body twitches, exhausted muscles acting on their own accord. The blunt head of his weeping cock bumps into a familiar, sensitive spot. Has your pussy tightening around him like a vice, ripping that wail right out of his chest. 

"Gonna..." that deep voice of his babbles. His mouth still moving, but not a sound coming out. 

"Already?" Fuck, it's hard to feign disappointment when he looks up at you with those watery eyes. Tears welling but not quite spilling over. Not yet. 

Long gone is his composure. His ability to remain quiet. Reduced to breathy whimpers and grunts punctuated by the lewd smack of skin on skin. And maybe some of those noises are coming from you, too, because there's a rawness in your throat that wasn't there before. Gasping for air, can't seem to get enough of it. Sweat beading at your forehead. 

He knocks into that spongey spot inside by pure luck. Your dripping cunt squeezing him for all he's worth, eager for more, more, more. And he's got no choice but to lay back and give it to you. 

You don't realize he's cumming until you feel the pitiful twitch of his cock. His body going still as tears tumble down his flushed cheeks, decades worth of strong muscle contracting, back rising up from the table one more time. Mouth moving around the familiar shape of your name, but not a sound leaving his throat.

"Plaid," Rhett's voice cracks on the vowels. Shattering like glass. "Plaid, plaid, plaid—"

You're already pulling off of him. Numb feet stumbling as you finally, finally change your stance. Standing upright, soothing your clammy palms over his soft thighs. 

"Too much?" Something pops in your neck as you lean down to press a kiss to his knee, scarred from that time he got spritzed with holy water. So much for him being invincible.

His horns thunk against the edge of the table, eyes unfocused as he mouths something you can't hear. "Want..." but he doesn't finish his sentence. Leaving his thought dangling in the air as he squirms, sweaty skin gleaming in the light, fumbling up to his own two feet. 

"Rhett?" You don't understand what he's trying to do, but he's planting his hands on your shoulders and pushing you up against the corner of the altar. Uncaring of the way the sharp corner digs into your skin or of your repeating of his name.

"Want..." he repeats. 

Rhett's knees thunk against the floor, the deep noise shaking these old church walls. Nose bumping into your thigh as he leans forward, eyes closed, blindly nuzzling his face between your legs. 

Oh. 

That wet tongue licks a fat stripe between your folds, serves to stifle his whimper as he settles against you. Drool pours from his thin lips as he twirls over your clit, too lazy, too eager to spend his time working you up.

"Good lord, Rhett," your words carried by a whispy gasp, reaching down to grab hold of those study horns. None of this is what you had in mind, but as he peeks up at you, lips wrapping around your swollen clit, you can't bring yourself to care about what should have been. "Is this what you were wanting?" 

His answer comes in the form of big hands grasping the backs of your thighs, not letting you squirm away as he nuzzles impossibly closer. That tongue of his rubs back and forth, the scruff of his cheek rubbing against you. Tiny, wet sounds, viciously loud. 

Fuck, you hope nobody comes to check in on how this whole cleansing process is going. 

Because there is nothing that can possibly explain the sight of a demon on his knees, eating you out on the altar. His spent, soft cock resting against his thigh, cum staining the insides of your thighs. Your pants have likely fallen into the seventh circle of hell by now, never to be seen again.

That burning mouth of his sinks lower, tail swishing behind him as he pushes his tongue into you without warning. Unphased of the mess he's left there, languidly working in and out of your pussy, soft noises emanating from the back of his throat. The tip of his nose nudges your clit with each and every motion. Enough to have you squirming, pulling on his horns. Unsure of if you want more or less.

"Y'taste so good," he's speaking right into you, each syllable rattling up your fragile core. Fuck, fuck, fuck, when did his voice get so deep? 

It's difficult to miss that pleased grin, poorly masked by your dripping sex, as he pulls his tongue from you. Licking his way up up up to your clit once more. A dull tingle appears as he twirls over top of it, not sure if it's brought on by the act itself or the way he whimpers when your hips jolt forward.

"Cum on my face," he breathes, punctuated by an honorary pause to suck on that swollen little button once more. Can't keep himself away for more than a few seconds at a time. Such a simple thing that shouldn't have you trembling the way that it does. "Please cum on my face." 

Deep in your chest, your heart flutters. Weakly battering against your rib cage as that tingling spreads, skin pricking with it, a twisting heat blooming between your legs. And Rhett's pressing harder, whining your name, and it's too much. Too much. 

One, two, three more flicks of his tongue, and your head is tilting back. Pulling hard on those soft horns as you cum with a cry that rattles through every square foot of this old church. Hips convulsing as he licks you through it, oversensitive, but your head so far up in the clouds that you can't remember how to speak. 

Your lungs are burning.

So are your knees. Crumbling out from under you without warning or notice. 

The big arms that catch you are the only reason you don't hit the floor with an earth-shattering boom. Pulling you away from the cold hardwood and into a sweaty, sticky chest. 

Getting back up would be the wiser option; go back home before anyone decides to pop in, hoping for a glimpse of the supernatural, but you're all out of good ideas for today. Scooting until your back rests against the wallpaper-clad wall, welcoming a rosy-cheeked cowboy into your arms.

"I didn't mean..." Rhett's horns knock against your shoulder as he settles. Such pretty things, pearly white in color, once the classic steer shape, now cut short by the hands of his own kin. "Didn't mean to...I didn't think the fire would..."

"I know," you whisper, your hands curling into his hair. "But you can't be doing things like that, Rhett." He could use a good bath, but you hardly mind the salty bite of sweat as you press a kiss to his forehead. 

There's something sweet about the way that he squirms even closer, seeking refuge in the crook of your neck. Like he thinks that making himself small enough will erase the theatrics that was earlier today. The yelling. The screaming. The arguing over which hunter to call. 

Rhett's soft purr almost gets you to shut up. Almost. "Do you know how bad things could have gotten if they called the Tillerson Twins instead of me?" 

"Could move towns again," he murmurs like he's given this some thought. Has had plenty of time to, being locked up in this place all damn afternoon. 

"Yes, but what happens when someone realizes that the hauntings only occur where I live?" That's the last thing that you need. For someone to poke their nose where it doesn't belong and realize that these events follow your every move. Realize that you're actively working with a demon to make a living, scaring folks into paying your hefty fee to cleanse their home. 

"Ain't no-one fixin' to figure us out," Rhett's head tilts, leaning up to press a kiss to your jaw. The uneven edge of his horn bumps into your ear. Scratchy. "They think demons eat people, remember?" 

Your chest rises and falls with a giggle. "In some forms of the phrase, they're not wrong."

The whites of Rhett's eyes flash. Rolling back into his head. 

You hope they get stuck.

"Funny," one of his scarred hands raise, wiping at his chin, still soaked from his efforts. 

Without rhyme or reason, you're reaching out, taking hold of that strong, prickly jaw. Watching how he lets you tilt and turn his head, not the slightest hint of resistance. Your thumb presses against his lips, and they part, humming as you pin his wriggling tongue to the bottom of his mouth. Completely and utterly pliant.

Cute.

"I say," speaking with your thumb still in his mouth, sucking on it during its retreat, "that y'let me haunt that cute lil' bakery down the road." 

"I'm not letting you rob a bakery blind," you groan, head thunking back against the wall. It always circles back to the restaurants and the cute little bakeries. Like he doesn't get enough from licking the cookie dough off the spoon and quietly bugging you for bites of the dinner, he said he didn't want.

"Come on!" There's that whine of his, batting those thick lashes up at you. If he could, he'd be forcing tears to well in those deep blue eyes. "We get paid, and we get free donuts!" 

Tempting. But contrary to the popular belief of the public, you still cling to a few of your morals. And that includes not causing a pastry crisis in Wabang."I'll buy you a dozen when I pay our rent tomorrow." 

With a huff, Rhett falls back into your chest. Dramatic. "Fine," but you can hear the smile in his voice. A little bit excited. 

You need to get going. The first of the birds are beginning to chirp, and with them, sunrise is sure to come. Bringing life back to the streets of Wabang and prying eyes who won't take too kindly to the swishing tail and short horns of a demon walking amongst them. 

But he's so warm. 

All swollen muscles and soft grumbles, snuggling up like you're his favorite pillow. Content to lay here forever, with his ear listening to the quiet thump of your heart and feeling your hands roam up and down his spine. And quite frankly, you're content to stay here too. Even if the hard floor is making your ass go numb.

"Your method could use some work," Rhett yawns, rubbing his cheek against you, trying to burrow himself closer, "my back hurts."

Well, in that case... "That just cost you a donut." 

His head snaps up. Eyes wide. "You wouldn't."

"I would," defiantly sticking to your guns. 

You have a half second to scramble to your feet before Rhett is pouncing on you. All giggles and empty threats as he fumbles after you, chasing your half-naked form down the aisle. Tearing around corners and ducking between pews, hastily searching for clothes that you don't remember taking off.

"I'm gonna get you!" Rhett's only got one boot on. The other flailing in his hand as he races out the front doors, hot on your tail. 

And get you he will.

If he can ever catch you, that is. 

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Play It Out (2)

Part 1

Eddie turned around and immediately let out a sound like a leaking party balloon when the corset dug into his sides. "Yeaaaah...that's not ideal."

Steve scoffed and ran his hand through his impressive mane. His...really, really impressive mane. Eddie thought he would have previously noticed if Steve's hair was this big, but apparently he hadn't. Or there was something very different...very wrong. Steve hasn't noticed yet. "You think? I can't believe that we survived another dimension, mind battling shit, monsters with no faces and a giant fucking smoke spider, and then we get what, sucked into a haunted VHS for kids?" He sighed deeply and shook his head. "Can it get any worse?"

"Um..." Eddie gave a nervous chuckle, staring above Steve's eyes, where the head shaking revealed...something. "I think it just has." Reaching out, he removed Steve's hands from that incredibly fluffy hair and ran his own fingers through it, seeking with his fingertips until... "Yeah, so...um. Were you by any chance hiding horns in that Hawkins-famous hairdo or are these new?"

The look of horror on Steve's face was priceless. "Oh you've got to be kidding me." Steve rushed to the nearest window to examine his reflection. And sure enough, a pair of impressive horns was peeking from the rich brown waves, not large enough to be visible all the way but enough to make him look like a... "Hey Eddie? Did you see what fairy tales were on that tape?"

Eddie, crumpled in his yellow gold dress on the ground and currently battling with the high heels that were firmly secured around his ankles, shook his head. "Nah, man. Not that I'd be able to tell. My old man wasn't exactly the 'bedtime story' type. But since I'm wearing the worst clothes in the history of humankind and some supernatural asshole twisted my hair into a bun, I'd say I'm a princess." He shook his head, valiantly tugging on the sparkly shoe. "The stuff I never thought I'd say."

"Great. Because surprise, my parents weren't big on fairy tales either. So we're going in blind again, how do you even survive in this...whatever this is, if we don't know what story it is?" Steve finally abandoned touching his horns and unsuccessfully tried to comb his hair over them. It only made them stand out more and if Eddie wasn't engaged in a battle of his life with an ankle strap, he would have laughed. He finally managed to tug both of his shoes off and flung them to the distance, bending at the waist to stand up, when he winced in pain.

"I think I broke a bone," wheezed Eddie and clutched his side. The smooth fabric of the corset was cool under his fingers and he frowned in disgust. Why the fuck was he the one in yellow when the color made him look like a scrawny canary? Meanwhile Steve was made for this bright yellow shiny monstrosity.

"What..." Steve looked horrified and immediately supported him, gently touching his abdomen, feeling a strange lump. "Shit, Eddie, that's bad, does it hurt?"

Eddie bit his lip, nodding. "Like a motherfucker," he muttered and pointed towards his back. "Can you get rid of this crap? Untie the corset? Like, five minutes ago?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure." His fingers quickly worked the corset open and gently tugged it loose, along with the upper part of the dress.

"Thank fuck." Eddie tore the offending piece of clothing from his chest, glaring daggers at it. It took him a while to notice that Steve was staring at his bare chest, concerned and...maybe a little flustered? Eddie would have liked to think so, but now he was too busy taking deep breaths. Small waists were overrated. "See anything you like, Harrington?"

Steve blinked, eyes still glued to Eddie's body. "What? Oh, no- well yes, but...sorry, what were you..." He took a step closer and gently laid his fingers onto Eddie's rib cage. "Where's that broken bone?"

"Uh...here?" Eddie waved the untied corset in Steve's face and, realizing the misunderstanding, laughed out loud. "Don't look at me like that, it was serious. Have you ever had a piece of plastic break and stab you right in your insides? Cheap clothes for a cheap fairy tale, I tell you!"

Steve visibly relaxed but he still punched his shoulder before adopting the oh so familiar angry mother stance. "Seriously, Munson, couldn't you have been a bit more specific? Just a little bit? Never scare me like that again, you hear me, I was this close to carrying you-"

His tirade was cut short by Eddie leaning into him and pressing his palm over Steve's mouth. They stood face to face, Eddie still with his hair tied back and only in the frilly white pantalettes since he managed to slip out of the skirt too. And maybe it would have been awkward, but Eddie's dark eyes were open wide as he leaned next to Steve's ear and whispered: "So, I don't want to freak you out even more, but I'm quiiite convinced a teacup just walked through the door."

Steve rolled his eyes and, when Eddie's hand didn't move, actually licked his palm. "Don't be ridiculous. It probably just rolled off a table or something," he said as Eddie nearly shrieked and proceeded to wipe his hand on the white fabric. "Maybe you haven't heard, but teacups can't walk-"

He was preparing to say more, to chastise Eddie for his ridiculous ideas. But then the door opened again and so did Steve's mouth, hanging open in comical surprise as a round teapot wobbled inside the door, rattling and calling in a high voice: "Dusty! Dusty, where did you go?"

Eddie crossed his arms and scoffed. "Yeah, Steve. Continue, I'm all ears about stuff that," he formed quotation marks in the air, "isn't possible."

Tag list: @f1ct1onwh0re @gregre369 @estrellami-1 @awkwardgravity1, @stevesworldxx, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @eboyawstenn, @theseaofdespair @mightbeasleep

[ghost-missy]

!YANDERE! Nezuko × !FEMALE SLAYER! Reader

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

"Y/n-Chan!~" Zenitsu said started chasing said girl.

"Zenitsu leave Y/n alone please?" Tanjiro said to him.

"Mhm! Hmph! Mm!" Nezuko mumble but no one could hear her because of the bamboo muzzle it was clear that she was mad at Zenitsu.

"Oh come on, Zenitsu didn't mean it." Y/n announced to everybody in the small room that was in the wisteria estate for demon slayers.

Nezuko then turned around and ran towards the other girl hugging her waist.

"Moshi, Moshi, Nezuko." Y/n said as she hugs Nezuko back.

"Y/n and Monjiro and Monichi!" Inosuke yelled at them.

"Inosuke you said my name right!" Y/n said happily because he said her name right.

That day the five of them we're leaving to go on their next mission into a forest that was supposedly haunted. But before saying goodbye to the nice lady.

"So this is the forest? Right?" Y/n said to the others as she heard a muffle coming from the box on her back Tanjiro had trusted her with the box with his sister in it.

Nezuko was happy that she was close to Y/n.

"I'M NOT GOING IN THAT CREEPY FOREST!!!!" Zenitsu cried out terrified of the woods.

"Oi shut up Monichi!" Inosuke yelled at him.

"THAT NOT MY NAME YOU DUMB PIG!" Zenitsu yelled back to him.

"Guys please don't fight, right now." Tanjiro said trying to defuse the argument that was happening. Nezuko grumble upset about the argument.

As they all walked in and Zenitsu stay behind but ended up running towards them.

"YOU GUYS CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" Zenitsu yelled at them.

"Zenitsu if you want to come you can!" Y/n yelled back.

Nezuko and Y/n are separated from the rest of the group and walking alone in the woods.

"Mhm Nezuko are you okay in there?" Y/n asked the other girl "Hmm!" Nezuko hummed inside the wooden box "good." Y/n sigh and relief that Nezuko was okay.

Y/n then spotted two demons one boy and one girl both wearing white kimonos with spider webs like design on it and had white hair and white skin with red markings they had teal eyelashes with teal painted nails.

"A SLAYER! Rui we need to leave NOW!" The girl said to the boy next to her as Rui gave her a annoyed face and said "I think you should leave." Rui then looked at Y/n."N-no I'm your older sister!" The sister said to Rui and he in response in using his webs to cut her face.

"Now. Leave." Rui said as she left.

Nezuko had gotten out of the box that was on the ground near a tree as Y/n grabbed her katana. Pulling it out of the sheff, getting into a fighting stance.

Rui had sent a slash of webs in direction but before it hit Y/n.

Nezuko ran in front of Y/n and and protect her from the webs as she got hit with the webs.

"NEZUKO!!!" Y/n called out.

Y/n grab Nezuko as she fell into her arms.

"D-don't worry, Nezuko." Y/n said in a shaky voice as she holds Nezuko arms together so they won't come out and would heal.

"Are two siblings?" Rui asked out of nowhere.

"No, we not." Y/n said confused of why he asked that.

"You saved a demon, who isn't even related to you." Rui stated as he continued to speak.

"I wanted it. Your Bond with her." Rui said webs came out of his fingertips and wrapped around Y/n and pulled her to him.

He then strung up Nezuko.

As the webs around her tight up and she started bleeding, a screaming could be heard from Nezuko.

"Nezuko!" Y/n said as she looked up, she then got pulled down by Rui. "Don't say her name, say my name." Rui stated in an annoyed voice. Then out of a sudden pink fire surrounded Rui and burned him. As he let go of Y/n as she fell on the ground backing into a tree.

Nezuko get out of the webs and went towards Rui and her form grow as she bites through her muzzle Vines wrapping around her body and a horn coming out of the side her head.

"Don't you dare touch her!" Nezuko yelled as she preceded to kill Rui.

Nezuko then turned towards Y/n and saw that she was bleeding and started walking towards her.

Nezuko then kneeled down next to Y/n and lift up her by the chin licked up the blood streaming down from Y/n's forehead.

Nezuko picked up Y/n. Before Y/n black out. "Don't worry, I won't to eat humans as long as you let me drink your blood~ Darling.~" Nezuko said and then Y/n passed out.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

[bluespiritshonour]

I’m so curious what’s going on in the Revenant au!

Thanku for the ask 😊

At first I thought it would be the Blue Spirit haunting Zuko—but in true horror fashion you won't be able to get “rid of him”—anymore than you can get rid of Tui and La (we all know how that went down) or, say, Koh. They're kinda like, idk, nature spirits? Not all of them, but you get the point?

And I drew Zuko getting shot at and I put him in white so I decided I'd just kill off Ozai and he's exactly the kind of bitch that would come back to haunt his kids.

He just wants to erase his bloodline at this point and neither Zuko nor Azula have any kids so it's just the two of them. He starts with Zuko either because he's the firstborn or because he hates him that much—like, he definitely doesn't care for Azula, but he doesn't love her either and would definitely try to kill her too—but Zuko needs to be out of the way first.

And Zuko's like “this fucker can't leave well enough alone even in death.” And he knows the moment he's dead, it's Azula's turn. So he sort of—holds onto Ozai like “It can work both ways, old man.”

And he just has the sort of willpower to pull it off. He just... refuses to bite it. Despite ghost!Ozai’s best attempts. And now he can't redirect his attention to Azula either because Zuko just won't let him go.

I thought about this especially because Azula has moments when she seems to care about Zuko in the show, but Zuko reciprocating it? Not so much. So, let him be a good brother for once.

As for Mai, she's gifted in that she's always been able to see spirits and ghosts and all the other stuff. But her parents hated that and tried to hide it so she never talked to anyone about it. She's gotten used to it at this point, as if ghosts and the rest are fixtures; part of the landscape.

And then Ozai starts haunting Zuko and she's like “yeah, I can see this bitch buzzing around like flies.”

Piandao is also someone who can see the otherworldly stuff and he's just... So much better adjusted than either Zuko or Mai. Anyways, he suggests that Mai should help him help Zuko. And it's Zuko so of course Mai agrees.

And in the course of it she and Piandao strike a friendship and it's lovely. And with the war over and her parents off her back she realises that she actually enjoys this stuff and soon enough she's shaking down every non-corporeal being in existence and they hate her. She discovers Koh and it's like she's found a new hobby.

I might just give her a guardian spirit for safety reasons. I haven't thought of it yet.

She and Piandao would make for a real good pair in that they'd flip the dynamic where the apprentice is taciturn and the master is... not exactly cheerful, but Piandao strikes me as a very normal™ man. Y'know?

(I'm kinda trying to project them into Sanyeong and Prof. Yeom from Revenant; except that here, Mai's not the one who has ghost problems, Zuko is).

There's so much potential to the spirits in ATLA. I'm kinda sad I couldn't work the Blue Spirit into it; Ozai just fits better. I might try to shoe-horn him in though. Idk. I love to force things.

But I'd have loved more spirit world stuff. Aang facing Koh is one of my favourite episodes. The execution was GREAT!

P.S. I actually had the Blue Spirit’s silhouette behind Zuko and it was kinda lame. I don't like to think the dark water spirit is humanoid but I'm not creative enough for anything else so it was just... Zuko in the theatre mask. 🥴 Ozai even looks better/more sinister.

[searsage]

"Listen Robinson… you've been working hard, harder then most. I think you've earned yourself a nice long vacation."

"What?! how am I supposed to enjoy a day off when that thing is still haunting the woods?! We don't even know what it is! What if it attacks the locals or hikers?!"

"…a day off isn't a vacation, and are you certain what you think you witnessed was real Ranger Robinson…?"

"What! Of fucking course it was real, it was like a fawn but covered in fancy bells.."

"Robinson…"

"And it was glowing colors! And dragging a Christmas tree!"

"Two weeks."

"Pardon..?"

"Your holiday vacation starts now, I don't want to see you in this office for the next two weeks."

"Wait no! We need to laun-"

"Good night ranger Robinson."

"No No No come on wait, don't hang up just yet! Hello..? FUCK!"

[8 hours prior]

"Robin..is this human ritual truley nesscessary? Al-an sighed softly, testily betting at the many hands poking and prodding at his vessel.

"Nope! But your going to wear them anyway, and trust me it could be worse!" Robin yelled over the festive country rock blasting throughout the cabin.

"…I can assure you it will not happen again.."

"You said that last year, right before you scanned everyone's presents spoiled their surprises and proceeded to tear into yours early!" Robin pointed out nonplussed as the resercher placed another silver bell around the dismayed architect's horns

"Oh so we're not going to talk about what that colourful basterd did to our christmas tree, remind him what he did to it Robin!." Sam scoffed, unapologetically wrapping several more lines adorned with fancy silver bells around the poor precursor's throax.

Al-an hissed petulantly, rearing his head out of the tyrannical older sibling's reach lest she place more on his horns.

"Can you not remind me of that, I woke up thinking I was in a bed of snakes! HEY STOP LAUGHING!" Robin groaned trying not to recall that absolute mess of a past christmas eve.

"I'm sorry I can't, I just can't!" Sam wheezed recalling just how long it took to untangle the lights from the precursor's makeshift nest.

"…I assumed you had appreciated the courting gesture…"

"Al-an you striped the christmas tree and put them all in my bed!"

"And yet if I recall correctly it still worked…very well" Her architect pointed out unapologetically.

The smug purr filling to room had her sister raising an eyebrow at her.

"Robin you sure know how to pick em." Sam snorted trying and failing again to reach to stubborn architect's horns, the jackass never made anything easy for his in-laws!

"He's just being pissy because now he can't raid the presents without waking the whole damn town, not unless actually he wants to test Marguerite's claim on that drunken bullseye, isn't that right mr silver bells?" Robin snorted reaching her hands up towards her architect's face, a silent beckoning her mate was too eager to resist.

Unfortunately while his rediness for affection does secure him a brisk kiss, Sam also took the oppertunity drape the last three loops of silver bells over the precursor's horns.

Much to Al-an's irritation.

"Oh my god! He looks like a fancy reindeer! And actually cute for once!" Dani exlaimed when she walked in to spot the two sister's handiwork, Al-an looked so festive decorated with noisy ornaments, the silently fuming precursor only made the spectacle more entertaining.

Still Robin didn't appreciate her in-law's word choice.

"Excuse you..?" Robin Challenged, arching an eyebrow.

"Errr..I just mean not like a autobot picked up a drunk fawn in a bar.." Dani clarified not that her explaination helped her case.

"You know what I might just let him have his way with your presents.." Robin mused warningly.

"No wait I didn't me-" Dani begins but her rebuttal is quickly drowned out by the now intrigued architect.

"Really?"

"No Al-an, your job is to prance about and jinggle those bells and look pretty." Robin laughed watching her architect flare an irritated red.

"Are you certain we can't tie holly on him..? it would really bring the look home.." Sam pleaded eyeing the box of christmas decorations.

At this point Al-an had reached the peak of his tolerance for their bullying and flash stepped into the safety of the the living room, fleeing to the solace of his couch, the silver bells ringing obnoxiously as he attempted to right his large vessel on on the smaller couch.

He couldn't however stop his attention from drifting towards the colourful lights donning the large false spruce, it intrigued the poor architect in a way he himself did not understand entirely.

The bell covered precursor brooded, how could they blame him for humoring such a vescreal impulse, had he not apologized..?

In his opinion their response to his creative exploration was irrational, they simply did not understand the instinct to indulge in hoarding colourful beacons..

"Hey big guy! eyes off the tree!" Robin warned earning herself an irritated hiss from her testy architect.

He was only admiring it from afar, there was no harm in that, Al-an had no intentions of raiding the tree again..or it's presents at least not while they were awake and in close enough proximity to stop him.

[dreamsoffantasty]

━━ ❀               𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐕𝐈𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒    𝐏𝐞𝐲𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡'𝐬    ❀ ( lyrical meme appreciation featuring songs various albums, please feel free to change the pronouns as you see fit  ! some of the lyrics changed to fit better for RP purposes. anything with 'insert ' please put in what you would like to best fit the quote. )      

𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐄

❛ The darkness comes alive, feeding on me. ❜

❛ The howling Norse inside, overtakes me. ❜

❛ The time has come to stand and fight. ❜

❛ Draw your axes, let them fly ! ❜

❛ Unleash the warrior you've become. ❜

❛ Rise up, rise up, it is time for war. ❜

❛ Indestructible fortitude, wielding powers of {godname}. ❜

❛ I've got the heart of a warrior, heart of a {insert}. ❜

❛ Nothing can stop me, move out of my way. ❜

❛ Bloodlust is rising, hurricane in my veins. ❜

❛ We are, we are, we are {insert} ! ❜

❛ The sickness all around, infests me... ❜

❛ Chaos inside, runs through me. ❜

❛ The time has come to stand and fight ! ❜

❛ Draw your axes, let them fly ! Release the warrior you've become and fight ! ❜

❛ I've got the heart of a warrior. ❜

❛ Nothing can stop me, move out of my way. Bloodlust is rising, hurricane in my veins. ❜

𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐑𝐊

❛ Winter nights of blood and steel, war amongst {insert}. ❜

❛ Plains being converted to ash, raze the fields and burn it all... ❜

❛ Sound the horns, the enemy shall fear, unleash our war cry ! The battle for {insert} is ours. ❜

❛ {insert}, get ready for war. ❜

❛ This is something worth fighting for ! ❜

❛ Can you taste the blood of man ? ❜

❛ Can you taste the victory ? ❜

❛ Are you ready to die in war ? ❜

❛ Glory in the battlefield, forming lines of dirt and green. ❜

❛ March to claim our history ! ❜

𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍

❛ The everlasting darkness, begins to fill into my heart. ❜

❛ A hundred days, a hundred more we sail unto the battle for our home. ❜

❛ My love, I will fight this war for you. ❜

❛ If I fall, I'll see you again. ❜

❛ No matter the fight, I'll stand up and rise. I'll carry this weight across all divides and if it's my time just know that I have loved you ! ❜

❛ As I sail far from home, I can't help but think of you… ❜

❛ I miss everything I love If you hear me Oh I… Love you. ❜

❛ My love, I will fight this war for you and if I fall I'll see you again. ❜

❛ No matter the fight I'll stand up and rise. ❜

❛ I'll carry this weight across all divides. ❜

❛ I'll remember everything with you and I'll remember how you changed me. ❜

❛ I'll remember. ❜

❛ I'll remember everything, and I'll remember till the day I rest my eyes. ❜

𝐆𝐎𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐖𝐀𝐑

❛ I feel the aura on the breath of man. ❜

❛ With time let the fear sink in. ❜

❛ The bodies burn, our kingdom falls. ❜

❛ With no sacrifice what's for your kin ? Mercy is a-coming but I'm not your friend. ❜

❛ Do you know who I am ? ❜

❛ I'm the god/goddess of {insert}. ❜

❛ Destined blood filling my veins, commanding my power, annihilating the pain. ❜

❛ I drink from your bones that bled. ❜

❛ Finger on the string and my heart on the bow, one by one falling down like snow. ❜

❛ Armor on the flesh but my blade's in the wound. ❜

❛ You mock my deity ! ❜

❛ Do you know who I am ? I'm the god/goddess of {insert}. ❜

❛ Horns full of mead, as I drink from your bones that bled. ❜

❛ Mercy is a-coming but I'm not your friend.. ❜

𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐕𝐈𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

❛ The nightmare of eternity, marches right before your eyes. ❜

❛ As the ground begins to shake, Ravens fly amongst the sky. ❜

❛ Battles of great divine. ❜

❛ Torn hearts of fear and cries, let the rage of war ignite. ❜

❛ We were born to rise ! ❜

❛ We're gonna raid all your shit, annihilate your villages, plunder all for the hell of it. ❜

❛ Warriors, stand up, fight ! ❜

❛ You're going down tonight ! ❜

❛ Berserkers, fury of war - ❜

❛ Man/Woman of honor, man/woman of war. ❜

❛ Tales be told forever more - bloody axes, bloody fields, fight with honor, clash of shields. ❜

❛ Fearless soldiers fight with heart. ❜

❛ Haunting lands of man and steel. ❜

𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑

❛ The weapon in the storm clashing in the sky. ❜

❛ The horns of {insert}, calls for war. ❜

❛ The ground will shake and the sun will fall and the war bears march as we bellow through the halls. ❜

❛ I will rise and push on through. ❜

❛ I'll prove my might and show my strength. ❜

❛ The limit of my mercy follows you. ❜

❛ I've got the power of {insert} in my hands. ❜

❛ Thunderous hammer that will sing across all the land. ❜

❛ Lightning strikes as I storm through the valleys of death. ❜

❛ You follow the empire ! ❜

❛ Thunderous {insert} that will sing across all the land. ❜

❛ We embrace our fears through realms of the dead. ❜

❛ The path to {insert} is the honor we share. ❜

❛ Blood by oath, iron swords by bond, no matter the realm, we're kings till dawn. ❜

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🌈 Queer Books Coming Out in August 2024 🌈

🌈 Good afternoon, my bookish bats! Here are a FEW of the stunning, diverse queer books you can add to your TBR before the year is over. Happy reading!

❓What was the last queer book you read?

[ Release dates may have changed. ]

❤️ Failure to Comply - Sarah Cavar 🧡 I Spit On Your Celluloid - Heidi Honeycutt 💛 You're Embarrassing Yourself - Desiree Akhavan 💚 Death of the Hero - Briona Johnson 💙 Between Dragons and Their Wrath - Devin Madson 💜 The Crimson Crown - Heather Walter ❤️ Sacrificial Animals - Kailee Pedersen 🧡 Oath of Fire - K. Arsenault Rivera 💛 The Palace of Eros - Caro De Robertis 💙 This Ravenous Fate - Hayley Dennings 💜 Mistress of Lies - K.M. Enright 🌈 Wolf Bite - T.J. Nichols

❤️ In the Valley, A Shadow - Samantha Tano 🧡 Follow My Lead - Adrian J. Smith 💛 The Last Woman I Kissed - Venetia Di Pierro 💚 Full Shift - Jennifer Dugan & Kristen Seaton 💙 Hers for the Weekend - Helena Greer 💜 Come Out, Come Out - Natalie C. Parker ❤️ Rules for Ghosting - Shelly Jay Shore 🧡 How to Leave the House - Nathan Newman 💛 Plot Twist - Carmen Sereno 💙 On the Far Side of a Crescendo - Kalyn Hazel 💜 Tiny Oblivions and Mutual Self Destructions - Maxwell I. Gold 🌈 Daylan and the River of Secrets - Edd Tello

❤️ The Italy Letters - Vi Khi Nao 🧡 The Gender Binary Is a Big Lie - Lee Wind 💚 The House Where Death Lives - Alex Brown 💙 Ash's Cabin - Jen Wang 💜 The Avian Hourglass - Lindsey Drager ❤️ The Heart Wants - Krystina Rivers 🧡 A Grand Love - Janna Barkin 💛 You Can't Go Home Again - Jeanette Bears 💜 Libertad - Bessie Flores Zaldivar 🌈 Her Golden Coast - Anat Deracine

❤️ Mighty Millie Novak - Elizabeth Holden 💛 Rise and Divine - Lana Harper 💚 Dying for You - L Flowers 💙 I'll Have What He's Having - Adib Khorram 💜 Changing Her Tune - Amanda Kabak ❤️ Monogamy? In this Economy? - Laura Boyle 🧡 The Rainbow Age of Television - Sayna Maci Warner 💛 Medusa of the Roses - Navid Sinaki 💙 Confounding Oaths - Alexis Hall 💜 Idol Lives - K.T. Salvo 🌈 Brother's Keeper - Quinn Cameron

❤️ Key Lime Sky - Al Hess 🧡 Crushing It - Erin Becker 💛 The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou 💚 Not for the Faint of Heart - Lex Croucher 💙 Tasting Temptation - JJ Arias 💜 Ami - S. Jae-Jones ❤️ You're the Problem, It's You - Emma R. Alban 🧡 Cubs & Campfires - Dylan Drakes 💛 The Dark We Know - Wen-yi Lee 💙 Practical Rules for Cursed Witches - Kayla Cottingham 💜 Riyati Rebirth - Kalani Shimizu 🌈 The Brujos of Borderland High - Gume Laurel III

❤️ A Bánh Mì for Two - Trinity Nguyen 🧡 Dance of the Starlit Sea - Kiana Krystle 💛 Scattered Snows, to the North - Carl Phillips 💚 Beyond a World Apart - Caitlin Myers 💙 Don't Let It Break Your Heart - Maggie Horne 💜 Nothing Heals Me Like You Do - Harper Bliss ❤️ How It All Ends - Emma Hunsinger 🧡 How Do I Sexy? - Mx. Nillin Lore 💛 The Palace of Eros - Caro De Robertis 💙 Prince of the Palisades - Julian Winters 💜 Better Left Buried - Mary E. Roach 🌈 Back to Back - Jo Fletcher

❤️ DITCHLAPSE / [REALLY AFRAID] - Tommy Wyatt 🧡 The Love Archives: Bonus Scenes & Excerpts for Palestine - Various 💛 Guardian: Zhen Hun - Ying Priest 💚 The Sunforge - Sascha Stronach 💙 Queering Reproductive Justice - Candace Bond-Theriault 💜 Gender Explained - Diane Ehrensaft & Michelle Jurkiewicz ❤️ The Unlikely Pair - Jax Calder 🧡 In Universes - Emet North 💛 We Love the Nightlife - Rachel Koller Croft 💙 Lessons from Cruising - Martin Goodman 💜 Wild Ginger in the Rhubarb - Eule Grey 🌈 Not My Circus - Delicia Niami

❤️ Asunder - Kerstin Hall 🧡 The Phoenix Keeper - S.A. MacLean 💛 Encounters with James Baldwin - Various 💚 Verity's Game - Jennifer Giacalone 💙 Hunt Me! I Crave the Chase - Fae Quin 💜 The Audacity Omnibus - Carmen Loup ❤️ Haunted to Death - Frank Anthony Polito 🧡 Blood Orange - Paige Grunewald 💛 The Bad Things We Did - Chris Archeske 💙 Dark Restraint - Katee Robert 💜 Worth the Wait - Kenna White 🌈 The Maid and the Crocodile - Jordan Ifueko

❤️ Loving Corrections - Adrienne Maree Brown 🧡 The Last Witch in Edinburgh - Marielle Thompson 💛 The Duchess of Kokora - Nikhil Prabala 💚 The Scales of Seduction - Rien Gray 💙 Survival Is a Promise - Alexis Pauline Gumbs 💜 Loka - S.B. Divya ❤️ The Every Body Book of Consent - Rachel E Simon 🧡 Southern Lights - Liz Arncliffe 💛 Then Things Went Dark - Bea Fitzgerald 💙 Death at Morning House - Maureen Johnson 💜 The Last Doorbell - William Parker 🌈 The Pairing - Casey McQuiston

[twilightarcade]

Addressing the Allegations.

[This is a JOKINGLY serious post. Some say announcing that before letting you read it ruins the fun but Oh Well!]

Hello, my esteemed tumblr followers. Surely you follow me for silly, nonsensical at times, posts, and the occasional drawing or two. However, I must acknowledge the elephant in the room. Recently, or rather, a literal year ago, a crude post accusing me of things was posted. This post, nothing much to take note of, was surely made in good fun. But it quickly gained traction, acquiring nearly 5 total notes, rife with discourse and dismay. This activity quickly died down, as with most worthless internet discourse, but the ghost of it haunted me to this day. Quite recently, I received an ask. A harmless ask, as surely the asker wasn't aware of what weight such a simple question carried. I, the receiver of such an ask, however, was nothing short of horrifically aware what that ask meant for me and the askers future.

Now of course, I can't simply address this ask without first addressing our lovely blogs history. First created in 1973, twilightarcade has become nothing if not a household name. Whatever that means. This humble blog brings joy across generations, and, if you don't mind me tooting my own horn a bit, brings quality content to dashes across the world. This all goes without saying. However, some individuals choose to look past this joy we bring others. Instead of looking at the good, they choose to focus on the negative, as if the positive doesn't completely negate any possible wrongdoing on my behalf. And thus, a post was born.

The posters url will remain anonymous, as to preserve both my and their safety and security. As there are two anonymous parties in this situation (or, allegedly 2 different parties,) the asker will be renamed

Quest. Because apparently people are naming their kid that now. And the poster will be referred to as The Posterrrrrrr

The Posterrrrrrr made a simple, harmless remark similar to Quest. However, when taken into context, it was an accusation of the highest caliber. Now what was this accusation you may be asking? Well you'll just have to wait and see as this post drags on and on and on and on for no good reason. Perhaps I'll even fake some discord screenshots? Anyhow, The Posterrrrrrr. Their post accused me of manipulating a bigger scenario, as if I thought it was a game, hiding in the shadows as to avoid detection. Now I'm not going to deny any of this as this would be absurd, but instead I'm going to bully The Posterrrrrrr. And oh man I am not committed to this bit enough. I have worked on this worthless excuse of a post for like an hour. If I was stronger you would have the worst best post on your hands but I am merely human. Whole ass writing project I didn't anticipate. I swear I didn't do it!

Anyhow blahblah discord screenshots

um. Tags for all my mutuals so they can come back me up and spread this post @twilight-arcade @twilightarcade @twilightarcade @wedonthaveanyotherblogsdowe???

thank you for reading and PLEASEPLEASE don't witch hunt The Posterrrrrrr. I merely want to spread awareness of this toxic individual in our community. I'm going to sleep now and it's gonna be the best sleep you have ever seen. I will be the most well rested person out there. You'll all see.

[attorneys-against-court-violence]

The Defense is not ready, your Honour...

🌙🪶Our main: @panged-lin

A sideblog for all the Ace Attorney discussion & fanart I happen to think of and like, respectively.

Our court record contains the following evidence:

Analysis on things that have stuck in my brain like corn kernels

Random ramblings I found amusing enough to put into words

JUSTICE!

Fanart. A lot of it. There's too much I can't not reblog...

An unusual amount of Dual Destinies-related posts. Athena and Simon have overwritten my neurological functions, to my chagrin.

Court Proceedings:

Posts that deconstruct canon & ones that discuss fanon/headcanons will be clearly denoted. Keep discussions neat and cleanly defined in the pursuit of the truth!

Reblogged ship art will always be tagged for those who wish to block/find the respective pair tags.

Parrots are permitted on the witness stand to provide testimony under extreme circumstances.

Anon asks are enabled. Any assassins that wish to give testimony may do so with complete anonymity and safety.

The Investigation games and other spinoffs are unfamiliar territory for this page. Bare that in mind!

Orcas are permitted on the witness stand under the same conditions as for a parrot to be brought to the stand.

Old personal tags:

#order in the court! - Any old nonsense. If it would get me yelled at by a judge it's going here.

#witness testimony - Reblogs from other sources

#cross examining the witness - Replies via reblog

#evidence approval - General fanart tag

#the court record has been updated - Follow-ups from posts made here

#turn your thinking around! - Story analysis. Headcanons are kept to a minimum.

#this is baseless conjecture! - Headcanons and similar musings. Ranges from educated to pure nonsense.

#psyche-lock cracking - Character analysis.

#perceiving secrets - Visual analysis.

#let your heart be heard - Asks, either requesting or answering.

#herman crab approved - marker for strictly non-romantic readings of plot or pairings. Those without this are open to interpretation going forward!

#the cykes brigade is totally cyked! - Athena Cykes.

#auticykes - niche tag for Autistic Athena Cykes posts

#arothena/#arothena agenda - niche tags for Aromantic Athena Cykes posts

#hi widget! - erm, Widget. Duh.

#prosecutor birdman - Simon Blackquill.

#psych siblings - Athena & Simon duo posts. Mis-written frequently, my bad.

#twin-horned devil - Aura Blackquill.

#quillblings - Simon & Aura duo posts.

#rare moon of hope - Metis Cykes.

#dear bosom buzzard - Taka.

#in robert we trust! - Bobby Fulbright.

#blade of JUSTICE - Simon and Bobby's pair tag. Non-romantic variations included.

#fey appreciation posts - Mia, Maya, and Pearl-oriented posts. Other Fey clan-related chicanery is also included.

#maya apprecition/#mia appreciation/#pearl appreciation - See above, but more specific.

#mr fine - Apollo Justice.

#what's faith without doubt? - Apollo and Athena's shared tag. Do as you will, I just really like these two and their arc.

#apollo's girlfriend - Mikeko.

#the wright man for the job - Phoenix Wright (PW1-3, DD/SoJ).

#you've come to the wright place! - Trucy Wright.

#the perceptive pair - Duo tag for Apollo and Trucy. Non-negotiably platonic/sibling.

#the king of prosecutors - Miles Edgeworth.

#beanix - Phoenix Wright (AJ:AA).

#piano man - Klavier Gavin.

#for skyentific purposes - Ema Skye.

#gone swimming - Damon Gant.

#foolishly foolish fools! - Franziska von Karma.

#call them karmic justice - Egdeworth/Franziska's shared tag. Non-negotiably silbing/sibling-esque.

#man freed from karma - Manfred von Karma.

#dirt earthman - Clay Terran.

#judge junie - Juniper Woods.

#an orange for strength - Thena and Junie's shared tag.

#17 cups of coffee - Godot/Diego Armando.

#moon's haunted - ???/"The phantom".

#hang loose baby! - Roger Retinz.

#a sad monk - Nahyuta Sahdmadhi.

#udgey - The Judge.

#this isn't texas dude - Jake Marshall.

#DISMANTLE DISMANTLE DISMANTLE- - Ted Tonate.

#a covetous crow - Kay Faraday.

#fresh as a spring breeze - Matt Engarde.

#splendiferous! - Redd White.

#i want to protect you! - Blue Badger. Yes I'm serious.

#emotional noise - Old version of #order in the court!

#updating the mood matrix - Old version of #the court record has been updated

#dual destinies analysis - dedicated tag for DD analysis posts, defunct

#dual destinies watchthrough - officially retired

#thena thoughts/#a thena - Athena Cykes text and fanart respectively, defunct

#simon soliloquys/#art of the twisted samurai - Simon Blackquill text and fanart respectively, defunct

#case 6 2 watchthrough - officially retired

[beepiiboop]

Haunted by The Past

a chara exploration writing involving neakon! it goes into more detail abt negative thoughts he suffers from, as well as Very Very brief cyrin mention in this writing as he's connected to why neakon often suffers having such thoughts + responsible for something that happened between them

Neakon sits silently in his throne room, having some deep thoughts going on in his head. See, the thing about Neakon is he's a mysterious person, he's aware of that fact to the point he would overhear his citizens always commenting on that part about him, with one of the biggest comments being about his past. 

Neakon feels bad about keeping his past hidden away from the very people that mean dear to him. However, he struggles to learn how to open up about himself and because of what happened to him in the past, he keeps information about himself as vague as possible or avoids talking about it entirely.

Thoughts begin to grow negative within Neakon, the more and more pressure about his past haunting him. 

Some ruler you are. Do you think keeping everything about yourself a secret would do good for you? 

What kind of ‘’good person’’ you are if you just keep everything about yourself hidden away from others?

Neakon felt dread with these thoughts getting bigger with their negativity, he then responded in a strained, stressed tone of his voice. "You don't control me on what I do. You don't get to even indicate the type of person I am with these false assumptions... Can you leave me be for once!" The moment Neakon said that his thoughts began to battle against his words, showing all bite as a response. 

"False assumptions?" What false assumptions? The fact you're a pathetic, no-good person ruler? 

You're afraid that your dear, oh so, citizens would think differently about you once they get to know the real you? 

Quit hiding behind this "good person" facade of yours! You're just making things worse for yourself with this act. 

You're so stubborn on insisting to keep going with this facade any longer. It will ruin you. It will destroy you eventually bit by bit,  just like trusting that god who destroyed your life the moment he backstabbed you.

"ENOUGH," 

Neakon shouted frustratedly at his thoughts getting more negative they've become, with the trigger point being bringing up Cyrin, who Neakon had been friends with many years ago before something happened between them where Cyrin became the reason why Neakon was closed off from trusting people. 

The mere mention of him set Neakon off into anger. Horn-like, head branches started to grow out of Neakon as a response to his strong emotions, growing intensely wrapping around his horns. "DON'T EVEN DARE. I don't want to hear the utter mention of him ever again. It's his damn fault for everything he has done! HE’S the one that’s hiding far more, worse secrets about himself than me!" His emotions got more and more heightened with how strong they got, boiling so much anger in him. Neakon rests his hands on his face, emotions within him becoming so heavy as every minute of it his stress increases the heavier his emotions get.

Neakon tries to calm himself down. "Let's focus on the present now... The present is what truly matters to me. I will not let anything get in my way, the past, Cyrin even..." He said as he was trying to keep his stress level down, head branches faded away unwrapping themselves out of his horns as soon as he felt like he had calmed down. "I can't let my people see me like this... I need to put myself together and just do what is right for me and them. Even if what I'm doing by keeping everything about myself hidden away from others may be looked down upon, it's better if they live in bliss without knowing."

Neakon got up out of his throne, walking towards the window to look outside of Plagiida and the citizens. He stares at the activities going on happening. 

"This world means so much to me, my people mean so much to me... I'll do everything I can to make sure it's all protected. As the ruler of this world, I will prevent any disastrous events from happening, keeping peace forever restored."  Neakon shows a slight smile on his face as he continues looking outside through the window... Oh wow? This is the first time Neakon has ever smiled in his life, given that he has a hard time being an expressive person. It truly shows how much he cares about this world and its people.

[disfrutalakia]

Biter anon back! Thanks for the compliment fellow anon!!!!

Anyway, forever haunted by the cubitos and all

Tonight I'm thinking of the... "start" of 4halo "agreement" to maybe take things out on each other and also make out about it, you know, like all the string of daydreaming asks left before hehe. And I think the moment things would shift in this drabble of au strings would the dapper threat, because 4ever can bring himself to do a lot of things and hurt himself to be a lot of things, but he can't muster such deep cutting and guttural lie to one of his best friends in the island, even if they are furious at each other, even if Bad just "kidnapped" 4ever to sell him enchantments, even if the protector, evolving to savior at this point, complex makes him want to do such low blown in the name of help, he cant make the world's spill.

But he can't let Bad go so easily, can't have him just be apathetic and dismissive of him and continue down in a worst path.

So, how do you make something turn from not caring to caring? Well, in romance movies it is always a kiss, 4ever knows that, and bad knows that, so he can't be so *cliché*.

So grabbing the dirty dark hoodie, 4ever makes them butt heads against glass panels and bars, can feel the cool texture of horns in his forehead that gives courage to his heating heart, to pull the hoodie even more, hiding them both, because a shoot in the dark is still a mortifying embarrassing ordeal, and without letting time for Bad to shake of his confusion, he reaches out and take Bad's lips.

And bites them hard and firm, holding his head still and hearing his heartbeat raise at the noise he got out of the action, five seconds of holding in his teeth before he let's go, cliking roughly against the demons on teeth as he go higher, pressing a nose close sinking fangs in soft skin, forcing bad to breath through his mouth and perhaps make more sounds that could shoock 4ever core, but pride was stronger yet to hold still and not lose this.

Going higher, scraping teeth against forehead and horn is what break Bad stoicism, he growls a warning that 4ever takes clearly, letting go of the hoodie.

And pisses off Bad even more, who now in turn take the collar of the prez suit and don't hesitate to bite his throat and draw blood, 4ever holds Bad arms, feeling one being curled with the own mindness of the demon, and being much more open with his noises of pain and perhaps more against what the demon is doing to him, Bad considers leaving at that, game won, no mind games could be had over his head.

But 4ever spread a crown of kisses in his head, forehead horns hair and all, and now his hands shook, because of the intimacy of the act, and the realization that came with it of how lonely and starved he is.

And if they spend the night in the hole in the wall with one bed meant for a simple villager, well, it isn’t that the golems could even snitch on them anyway!

Biter anon you are too good to us poor mortals, delivering a whole fic like that? Wonderful

I reread this a bunch to try to think of something to comment but I can't think of anything apart from this being so so good!! So happy that you are also in the 4halo trenches