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#but I cannot do that to the extent I want to when I have to move 2+ times every year
auspicioustidings · 2 days
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I am sure I must have yapped about this before but consider alpha Ghost who despises omegas. Roba was an omega and he used every bit of his biology against Ghost to try and break him. He just cannot be around omegas now, he hates it when any of his pack even smells like one from being out and about.
It means their pack beta Gaz gets treated like their omega to an extent. It's not like he hates it, it's nice that they want to spoil him, but he also wants to look after someone y'know? Everyone thought he'd present as an alpha when he was growing up and he still feels the instinct to protect those weaker than him. It maybe gets to him a little that he feels like an alpha, he is a beta and he gets treated like an omega.
He does not expect to present late. He certainly does not expect an omega scent match to be the thing that triggers it. You're everything he has ever wanted and he knows he will break Ghost's heart if he brings you home. So he doesn't.
You are rejected by your scent match and it hurts. You didn't realise how awful it would be, how much it would wreak havoc on your system. Alphas can reject a scent match and not be too affected but omegas? It is horrific.
Soap smells you on Gaz no matter how much he tries to hide it. His fucking scent match and Gaz is hiding them. The others were too distracted by Gaz's new alpha scent but Johnny always did have the best nose, and he is not going to let this go. He knows Ghost's feelings and he loves the man, but he will not ignore their omega to spare him from confronting his trauma.
You don't trust him when he tracks you down. Another scent match here to break your heart all over again? He's so upset at how sick you've gotten over it, gets to his knees and begs for a chance for his pack.
Only when you finally let him take you home, Ghost growls at you. One of your scent matched alphas growls at you. You want to die. You run away while Soap and him get into a shouting match.
You meet your last alpha while you are running. Price has no idea what is happening when you crash into him as he's walking the path to home. He never thought he'd have an omega. A scent match at that? It's more than he deserves he thinks. He's happy about you running into him, you're his and it feels wonderful. Only you are wildly distressed while smelling like Soap and he needs to figure out why.
He tells you to stay put because he can feel Ghost through the bond, feel his turmoil. He should never have left you, but his concern for his pack mate took priority.
The thing about meeting all your scent matches in quick succession is that it nose dives you into a heat. But they hate you. One rejected you, one brought you to another so he could growl at you, one left you when you were in distress. You are so distraught that you can't go to them because you are certain they will only be disgusted that you would ask them for help with your heat.
You find the nearest shelter. It's a crumbling shed out the back of their property. It doesn't do much to keep out the cold, there are leaks that get worse when it starts to snow through the night. You wish there would be more because you are burning.
The snow storm muffles your scent. The only reason you don't die is because Ghost braved the storm to go grab more firewood from the shed.
There he is, the alpha who hates omegas with his scent matched omega in heat, in pain and in danger. He walks away. You accept death would be a kindness now.
Except you don't die because he sends the others. You don't die because even though he cannot stand to be around you or to smell you, he gives his pack to you. He sits in the armchair all night listening as his pack bundles you into the pack bedroom and knots you through your heat while desperately trying to combat the hypothermia that was setting in.
It's months and months of angst and tension and misery as the pack tries to divide their love between their pack mate and their omega. Ghost hates himself every time he growls at you and scares you. You hate yourself for tearing this pack apart.
There doesn't seem to be a happy ending here until a pair of betas visit town. Maybe Ale and Rudy are just what this pack was missing to make it whole. Maybe they soothe all those frayed edges, act as a buffer. And maybe, just maybe, one day Ghost and you realise all at once that somewhere between you starting to growl right back at him and him starting to make an extra cup of tea for you, you fell entirely in love.
The rest of the pack can't believe it took you two idiots so long to realise it.
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f1-unpopularopinions · 21 hours
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Okay this is a rant
Fans project onto the drivers waaaaaay too much. They push their own emotions, personalities, and points of view on whichever driver is their favorite and try to force everything they say and do to fit that. It’s why there is so much Lando and Oscar hate right now. The fans are desperate for those two to be what they want them to be, usually soft uwu boys. And the minute they deviated away from it, especially Lando, everyone labeled them as evil or arrogant. I’m not even a Lando or Oscar fan and I can see that.
Famously all drivers are extremely competitive, willing to do whatever it takes, think theyre the best, and are assholes on the track. You can’t be in f1 without those traits. But so many fans refuse to admit that and the minute it becomes clear that this is the truth and not whatever fantasy they created, they freak. It’s beyond ridiculous. You should not be a fan of f1 if you can’t handle this. Cause yes, the drivers will say rude things, they will be arrogant about their skills, they will be bitchy about team orders, they will get pissy when they lose, they will usually not get along with their teammate, they will snipe at each other in the press, they will push too hard and hit each other on track and then claim it wasn’t their fault. That’s what happens. That’s fucking f1.
I’ve watched this sport get slowly santitized as the years go on, as new fans come in and decide the things they don’t like must be changed. It’s ridiculous. So now all teammates have to be best friends. So now team orders are evil. So now a driver being upset they didn’t win in ungrateful. So now a team is heartless for cutting an underperforming driver loose. So now all the drivers must be perfectly behaved little princes who are always happy, and grateful, and kind. I cannot imagine how frustrating and demeaning that is for them. I would rip out my own hair if people treated me like that. But no, if a driver expressed frustration with this I can almost guarantee fans would call them spoiled or ungrateful.
And on top of that all they have to contain, you have cameras shoved in their faces wherever they go. Any video you find of a driver, and their are at least five cameras not even a foot away from them. And people scream in their face, and grab them, and expect them to give them time because theyre a fan. Every movement is scrutinized, their facial expression and body language are over analyzed, people make assumptions about their relationships and lives, and they can’t say boo about it. It’s been like this to a smaller extent for years of course but it’s just exploded since honestly DTS. If I had 30 people shoving merch at me screaming my name, I signed it, and then some asshole on the internet made a whole video about how I wasn’t pleasant enough when I was getting mobbed and treated like a commodity I would explode.
I guess to finish off this super long take, I just want to say that f1 drivers will never be what you want them to be. So either fix your expectations and let them be human or stop fucking watching.
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smoozie · 2 days
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Grian and Scar are both loyal to an extent. They don't let their loyalty consume them nor overstay it's welcome. But they have different ideas of when loyalty ends
Grian is not a traitor. It's odd to see him depicted as one when the only precedent in canon is his rendezvous with Bigb. In 3rd Life, Grian explicitly declares his loyalty as to Scar and Scar alone. His alliances with others are tenous. He goes all in one and lets other arrangements fall to the wayside. He wasn't ever loyal to them though, they were a means to an end.
Scar has a bad case of "friend to all is a friend to none" which we will see again and again. Scar is by no means a friend to all in 3rd Life, but he still puts his brief friendship with Bdubs above his weeks long dedication to Grian. And this choice is so interesting because he clearly betrays Grian because he is on yellow not red. (I mean yes the no kill pass, but that likely would have never come into play had Grian been red). However, he expects Grian's anger when he returns. Or it seems that way because he immediately surrenders himself. So what was the point? He gets Grian down to red, only to kill Bdubs and hand him the victory. Not to mention he waits for Grian to return before he moves against Bdubs. His loyalty to Grian most definitely surpasses his brief alliances in 3rd Life (he literally tells Grian he can kill him for "keeping [him] alive this long"). But Scar is not so loyal as to consider himself above killing an ally. Scar plays a very dangerous game of balance with his alliances, he wants everyone to be allied with him despite the improbability of such an arrangement.
In last life, people seem to have a different interpretation of Grian's actions (particularly pertaining to his loyalty), than I do. I don't think Grian is betraying anyone when he kills Jimmy and Mumbo. Last Life requires all non-red alliances be severed once a party reaches red. Grian takes this very seriously, only "faltering" once when he tries to preserve his allyship with Mumbo. But even then he's trying to kill him, so I'd hardly count it. Grian removes himself from the southlands when he goes red, and on red he remains loyal to Joel. He rejoins the southlands when he returns to yellow and is back again to Joel when they're both reds. He is consistent in his loyalty and as I've said, doesn't let loyalty overstay its welcome. He knows when to let go, and he does so.
Keeping in mind I haven't watched Scar's Last Life in a hot minute, this is from memory and a recent rewatch of Joel's. Scar makes an unfortunate alliance with Joel at the beginning of the season, unfortunate because of the fleeting nature of their alliance. Scar proves again he is more than willing to set loyalty aside to do what needs to be done when he attempts to murder Joel as the boogeyman. Upon finding out Joel is also a boogeyman, he instead later tries to help Joel as he embarrassingly fails to kill anyone over and over. Even avenging Joel by killing Mumbo for his boogey-kill. When Joel is on red continously placing traps around their mountain for Scar, Scar chooses to take little offense to it. He knows he would have done the same. Scar does what needs to be done. He is a survivor first and foremost
Double life is interesting because it shows a break in Grian's loyalty habits. He doesn't stay loyal to a faction he declares at the beginning nor does his loyalty follow the games rules. Grian "cheating" on Scar feels out of character. It almost seems like an act of revenge for Scar's betrayal in 3rd Life. An overdue comeuppance. Which is a fun interpretation I like. You could also see it as an act of defiance against the watchers, to say "no I am not playing by ur rules anymore. You cannot choose my allies for me". Whatever floats ur boat. I get people who downplay the "affair" as not the serious because they just call each other secret soulmates and send presents, but I think that interpretation misses the most important part: how it is presented to us. Grian and Scar both portray the secret soulmate bit as akin to cheating, so it makes the most sense the audience interprets it as such.
Double Life Scar is often misinterpreted to be happier with Grian than he actually is. In the beginning, Scar doesn't care to find his soulmate. He doesn't even realize it's Grian until the end of the episode. First thing Scar does the next episode, is try to introduce Grian to his Jellie-pandas. Which are immediately rejected by Grian. Scar then decides he will torture Grian with pain as payback, which he also teaches to Pearl. (A really great parallel imo because had Scar been tied to Scott I think he would have also been rejected). Interestingly, both Grian and Scar understand loyalty as a necessity to survival, especially in this particular game, as such they stay together despite BOTH being displeased with each other.
Grian stays firm with the bad boys until their early deaths. Despite his button pressing habits and that one fight they had over falling off ladders, he doesn't betray them. But he doesn't let grief consume him. That's the way of the game. His allies die, he needs safety. He moves on. And he once again proves his secondary allies (not nosey neighbors as they are now his primaries) mean little to him when he kills Scar. Again. And calls it the ultimate betrayal Grian when I fucking catch you
The clockers actually seem to be the perfect alliance for Scar. Bdubs who he can betray a million times over and always be forgiven, and Cleo who has still not forgiven Bigb for his choice to kill her two seasons ago. Scar has no reason to betray these two and never does, but he does believe Bdubs will betray them.
Grian in Secret Life is interesting because it is the first time we see him struggle to get an alliance. He kinda just shows up on Cletho's doorstep one day and asks to be let inside. Scott implies he lacks loyalty because of his quick departure from the bad boys last season, but I have emphasized I disagree with this interpretation of Grian. Grian remains loyal all season. When he dies he doesn't know both Cleo and Etho were taken out just moments before him, and celebrates the amount of damage his final stand caused Gem and the Scotts. He will sacrifice himself for loyalty.
Secret Life is by far the most telling for Scar's stance on loyalty. He goes where the wind takes him. He tries to blend in for as long as he can and hopes no one notices he shouldn't be there. He only chooses the mounders over Gem and the Scotts because he is currently standing with them when the question needs answered. Friend to all friend to none. He could have easily picked either side. He refuses to take Pearl's offer for hearts, tho this is most definitely out of respect. He wants a fair fight with Pearl, and he gets it. He very quickly turns his blade on Pearl after Gem is gone. Because he was never too tied to one.
So uh tl;dr: Grian and Scar are quick to kill loyalties when necessary, but Scar will always prioritize his survival over being loyal
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strawberri-draws · 2 months
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shuichi posting
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quietwingsinthesky · 4 months
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the doctor is emotionally manipulative. he’s very good at it, and even better at justifying it both to himself and the people he’s doing it to. he can see when his approval, his affection, is valuable enough to someone that withholding it will be an effective way of getting them to do what he wants. this is one of his best flaws, that he’ll do this to people and do it to them for his own definition of what’s good for them.
(gestures vaguely) twissy.
#I LIKE THIS ABOUT HIM. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO KEEP SAYING THAT. I like this. its a very good flaw. its very consistent.#its there in all iterations of him (that i’ve seen)#in early episodes with rose he’ll get angry and emotionally withdrawn when she pokes at his trauma. and he knows that it’ll work because in#her own words: don’t argue with the designated driver.#he does it to jack like. a lot in utopia. his judgment only has so much sway over jack because jack is Obsessed with him and he knows that.#jack unsettles him. he uses that control to feel less unsettled. especially when he can’t do it to the actual threat of that finale: the#master. (though. he tries. that’s what the whole ‘i forgive you’ thing is about.)#eleven is practically Made of this impulse. he does it to amy. he does it to river. he does it to rory to a much lesser extent but that’s#because rory has. a vague idea? of how to have healthy boundaries. if not with amy then at least with the doctor.#that’s why his speech about people wanting to impress the doctor making him dangerous is so important. rory can See what he’s doing.#and twelve. obviously. does this to clara. clara also does it right back. this is why they are made for each other alsjjfgjakdj.#and. he does it to missy. because. and i cannot emphasize this enough. he keeps her. in a box.#I ENJOY THIS ABOUT HIM. HE’S A FUCKED UP LITTLE GUY!!!! WITH ISSUES ABOUT HOW HE REALLY REALLY WANTS TO IMPOSE HIS OWN MORALITY ONTO PEOPLE#HE KNOWS HE SHOULDNT BUT HE ALSO GETS FRUSTRATED AND HE DOES IT ANYWAY!!!!#and sometimes it’s unintentional. sure. sometimes it *really really* isn’t though. like.#and sometimes it’s both. sometimes it’s the result of him lashing out and reaching for a familiar coping mechanism in the moment.#but the point is the doctor does this.#doctor who
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adelinamoteru · 11 months
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at some point some of yall will have to admit to yourselves that the jason todd you like and have built up in fanon is not the jason todd that he actually is
inconsistent canon writing included, I have no idea where these povs on him are coming from if ur not actually meaning to do a disservice to his character
#jason todd#red hood#dcu#dc#we already know a third of dc writers do NAWT like jason#I’m prepared to deal with that but even when hes written by them its like??#AT LEAST HES LIKE THAT BC THEY DONT LIKE HIM#but to say u like jason and include him in batfam and etc meanwhile the jason ur looking at couldnt even pass as a walmart version#hes not stupid hes not pit crazy hes not incompetent hes not only fucking angry all the time#actually u know what he is angry#but hes never let that affect his decisions to the extent that I see portrayed in fanon#I cannot dictate or police how people choose to create content for jason like thats smth they’re doing for free in their own free time#but its just so disappointing that I constantly see him getting watered down to the most consumer friendly version of himself#just so that he can fit into the world u want to create#he deserves better !! he deserves to be taken seriously as his OWN character and NOT just batman collateral#he deserves to exist on his own and be taken in as such#the things that happened to jason happened to jason happened to HIM#and the things jason did HE chose to do#to strip him of all of those characteristics so hes more palatable#or so he can have an easy transition into batfam#(which if anyone was to be honest with themselves would realize is not going to happen realistically in canon)#is boring and overdone and frankly should be easy to not do#its okay not to like jason as he is#but that IS who he is#and for goddamn good reasons#not me writing an essay in the tags
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good-night-space-kid · 5 months
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Googling: how to get over the crippling guilt of throwing usable things away, how to get rid of things you could still use without feeling wasteful, how to move without feeling like the most wasteful person in the entire world
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rowenabean · 6 months
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#just saw a post that was like 'if you have religious or moral objections that stop you from providing certain types of medical care maybe#you shouldn't work in healthcare' (paraphrased) and...#what a way to look at the world tbh#like. they're talking about me i think - i am a conscientious objector when it comes to euthanasia#(which granted has come up exactly twice and both cases in a theoretical capacity only this is not a frequent request to me)#and... i am also a good doctor#last week i told someone that her weight doesn't matter to her health with receipts to prove it and she cried#no one had ever told her that before#and that was something that came from me specifically. that was something i would not trust all of the GPs in my practice - a practice of#excellent and compassionate GPs! - to say#i am verifiably doing good in my job that is coming from specifically who i am as a person#i cannot put that down when it comes to issues i care deeply about#fundamentally the fact that i cannot put it down is what makes me a good doctor#i think that's what i'm trying to get at#the reason that i do well by my patients is that i practice out of my values and my ethics#if i did not stand on that core i would not stand at all#so you can't have it both ways. you can't have engaged and active and compassionate healthcare providers without sometimes those engaged an#active providers having things they do not feel comfortable doing#and it is to everyone's service if they are up front about it and do not try to hide (i am suspicious of people who try to hide this)#i am literally figuring this all out as i type hence the v long tag ramble and also being nowhere near the post that started this train#(honestly in med school we talked so much about ethics as like. abortion! euthanasia! trans rights! and the ethics in practice is the littl#things. do you apologise when you mess up. how do you manage a consult with your patient with paranoid dementia and her child in the same#room at one time - or one by one bc that's fraught too. (that one's on top i had one of those today.) how do you act with grace when#you're a bit stressed and your patient is a bit stressed and the nurse wants to add five more things to your book. the day to day ethics is#SUCH a bigger thing when you come to actual practice.)#this is obviously entirely about me and leans on the fact that i largely do think i am doing a good job i am really feeling my own way#to a Thought. but i think to a certain extent it is generalisable
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how to not be overstimulated
#put music on - some of my very favourite stuff - and oh! it is making my hair stand on end! in not a good way! i am now on edge and i#don't! know! why!#if only all this would make SENSE >:(#no apparent trigger that i can perceive#back to our regular i want to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeee apparently#and there's no REASON for to be feeling like this it would be so much easier if there WAS#i want to do so many things but they involve Textures and No#knitting? i want to finish my cloak! im les than a row away from the border itself! excited! and its maybe at times getting cool enough i#could wear it! but the mere thought of perhaps i should knit to calm down sounds Too Much! because knitting has Texture!#piano? it has Sounds! and there's a slightly worrying trend beginning to emerge that piano makes me Feel Emotions! and it's been like at#least five times where ive gone to play the piano to calm down which helps to some extent but also helps to remove a numb feeling which is#overall good emotionally but it has ended up with me harming because i can't Deal with the Emotions! and i dont think this is a very good#trend! i could get out my colouring book i was given for my birthday and see if that helps but that also has Sounds! pencil on paper sounds#i could write but id have to work out a different scene because i cannot write the scene im up to rn bc it's hard enough when im#emotionally stable bc neither character knows what to do or say!#so many things i *could* do! i could go for a walk! too Bright#i could do All These Things If Only I Could#am i just making up all these difficulties and is it just my own stupid brain that's inventing things? Who Knows!!#and it's so unfair that eating makes everything *worse*#it shouldn't happen that way#it just shouldn't#i just want to die so bad#i wont do anything#not permanent i mean#tw suicidal ideation#tw sh#for the record i ate a meal like an hour and a half ago and ive hydrated#personal#im just so tired and pathetic and messed up :/
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kavehater · 3 months
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I lowkey give up with Genshin entirely tbh
#I have sm time but#when I log in I just do nothing#cannot complete the AQs at all#even though they’re fun they take half of my will power to complete#I try to do the chasm world quest but I’m stuck and I can’t read the map properly#I’m so bad at reading maps and half the thing is uphill and the others are down and there’s a billion pits and idk how to get to that#monster so I can finally level up shinobu from level fourty and I don’t know how to do the tasks in the chasm quest and everything needs#fifty yrs of mental prep to do and there is literally so much to do that someone as slow as me could never do it all#I’d be lucky if I even finish inazuma atp when I wanted to do sumeru in the holidays#sigh.#dora daily#I just randomly keep falling asleep which is so weird cause I never even when I was a very young child would sleep in the day#and I don’t sleep as bad as I used to#hmmm#ngl I think this whole blog needs to be shown to a therapist#why do you think you’re autistic/have bpd *shows them the blog* OH!#I only say autistic cause ppl kept saying it plus this one girl who was neurodivergent said I am and I was like uhhh no I’m not cause I#never showed any signs and I know the signs to an extent#but now as time goes on I show more signs and apparently it’s something you can develop#and the thing is lots of times ppl say they think it’s bpd but it’s actually autism so idrk#I mean I don’t want neither cause they’d be with you for life either way so#none of them you can truly “recover from”
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steviescrystals · 4 months
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ignore this post i’m just whining again
#i HATE being new with a passion like it is one of the most uncomfortable situations for me to be in#i had extreme social anxiety as a kid (still do i’ve just learned how to manage it better) that had a huge impact on me in school#i switched schools 3 times between the ages of 5 and 10 and tbh i made friends pretty quickly every time#but i was still so indescribably anxious every time bc i just hated being the new kid so much#and i thought that was all behind me bc at the time it was bc i didn’t know anyone and everyone else already had friends#but as i’ve gotten older that same feeling has come back and this time it’s when i’m starting at a new job instead of a new school#i started working when i was 16 and for the first month or two i was so stressed and uncomfortable all the time#and i thought it was normal bc it was my first job ever#which was reinforced when i was 19 and got another job and the adjustment period was a million times better#but i started working there 2 weeks after the business opened so literally everyone was new not just me#and now i’m realizing that was probably the only reason i settled in so easily#bc now i’ve started another job and i’m right back to feeling incredibly anxious whenever i’m there and it’s driving me crazy#like everything’s been super easy so far and it’s the exact same type of work i was doing before so i already know what i’m doing#and everyone i’ve met has been nice and chill but i’m still so uncomfortable#like every time i talk to my coworkers i’m just thinking ‘oh my god this is so awkward’ the whole time and i can’t stop#and i just feel so out of place and it sucks bc i was so excited about this job and rn i just feel so anxious every time i go to work#and the worst part is i felt the same way when i was new at my first job and (to a lesser extent) my second job#so logically i know it’s just bc it’s my first week and it takes time to adjust and it’ll be fine eventually#but knowing that doesn’t make the feeling go away or help me deal with it#like what can i do besides just accepting that work is going to suck for the next month??#the whole thing is just kind of making me spiral bc i desperately needed a new job and this is literally the only one i wanted#but at the same time i’m still so upset about getting laid off from my last job even though it’s been 3 months#and the more anxious i feel at this new job the more i miss my old job#and i cannot allow myself to fall back into the headspace i was in for all of march after losing that job#maybe this is irrational bc it was just a job but the layoff genuinely sent me into one of the worst depressive episodes of my life#so idk i guess i was just really hoping i would love this job right away so i could finally see a bright side to getting laid off#and i mean i don’t have any complaints about the job so far but my anxiety is just making me so unhappy anyway#and i just miss my old job so much and i think about it nonstop and i really fucking hate being new and idk what else to say or do#vent#lj.txt
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literally all i have been doing the past two weeks is Wanting. they call me the wanter the way i'm wanting things i can never have
#yearning longing whatever you wanna call it#needing as well but to a lesser extent because you can only need to a certain degree before it becomes wanting. lusting for sure#i have not stopped since the year started and i don't see an end in sight yet. i literally can't even think straight anymore#i literally cannot do anything or get anything done i mean i'm bad at that usually but like i genuinely think i've lost it#and as someone who never had it to begin with... idk!!!!#it's like i'm afraid to lose focus on it as if it isn't a constant choice i keep making when i wake up#i must remember that i can give up anything if i decide to. everything could change tomorrow#not looking at him for 2 hours will not make the feeling go away... pls be convinced brain#because i have not been sleeping well </3#and i'm becoming hard to be around again. people can just instinctively tell when i'm being weird#it is important that i be as realistic as possible while being the most deranged person on earth#wouldn't want to hurt myself again lmao... but i always do anyways so i just gotta let it happen#anyways i'm gonna try to watch harold and maude sometime today and also watch another movie bc we are only 4 weeks into 2024#and i already fucked up the 'watch a movie a week' thing i've been doing LMAO all because i wanted to look at a man#i'm ridiculously fucking braindead#not upset about it tho that's just who i am. brain is fully developed in 2 weeks and 1 day so it's never gonna change sadly#atp growing and changing are not impossible but if i do not see a reward of being loved at the end of the tunnel i will end up dead#and it's fine it's all so fine
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clonewarsahsoka · 10 months
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Uni actually makes me so irritable it's insane
#like if im at home or out with friends or whatever im fine#but if im doing anything related to uni or im on campus ANYTHING and EVERYTHING will piss me of#im so annoyed all the time and i hate it#im like i need to either kill someone or myself#and no one even cares#you could be like i am overwhelmed and annoyed rn and no one will even care about what you say#you could say im really tired and want to go home and then people will ask you to do more things and stay later#like!!!!!!! maybe i want to go home and fucking REST and CRY but nooooooooo i have to stay and help#i complain about my sleep schedule being off and not being able to wake up in time for my morning class#so lets ask kath to stay on campus until like 10pm multiple nights a week#no one fucking cares what i think or feel i guess 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪#actually most of this is just my bf because we work together the most/closest on some things#people expect so much of me and i CANNOT keep up its absurd#like other people do more but i am AT MY LIMIT#and the thing that pisses me off the most is that my bf KNOWS this he probably just doesnt think about it because he needs me for the things#he needs/wants to do#i need to talk to him about that because basically when hes in work mode he just thinks of all his teammates as like extentions of himself#so if he needs something done so that he can do his part he will act and EXPECT the person to do THAT thing IMMEDIATELY#so that he can move on and its like bro.............. other people have lives......... and things to do..............#our priorities might not be the same..............................#but if he wants it done RIGHT NOW then thats on you to do it or else he gets disappointed and upset because he wanted to get something done#like maybe i need to get something else done first#god im so pissed rn
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tyrannuspitch · 1 year
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things have been clicking into place and now everyone in my fairytale AU gets an actual character arc :) i have one (1) conversation to edit and then i'll have a postable draft of chapter one...
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literaryvein-reblogs · 2 months
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Writing Notes: Children's Dialogue
Language is extremely complex, yet children already know most of the grammar of their native language(s) before they are 5 years old.
BABBLING
Babbling begins at about 6 months and is considered the earliest stage of language acquisition
By 1 year babbles are composed only of the phonemes used in the language(s) they hear
Deaf babies babble with their hands like hearing babies babble using sounds
FIRST WORDS
After the age of one, children figure out that sounds are related to meanings and start to produce their first words
Usually children go through a holophrastic stage, where their one-word utterances may convey more meaning
Example: "Up" is used to indicate something in the sky or to mean “pick me up”
Most common first words (among the first 10 words uttered in many languages): “mommy,” “daddy,” “woof woof,” “no,” “bye,” “hi,” “yes,” “vroom,” “ball” and “banana”
WORD MEANINGS
When learning words, children often overextend a word’s meaning
Example: Using the word dog to refer to any furry, four-legged animal (overextensions tend to be based on shape, size, or texture, but never color)
They may also underextend a word’s meaning
Example: Using the word dog to refer only to the family pet, as if dog were a proper noun
The Whole Object Principle: When a child learns a new word, (s)he is likely to interpret the word to refer to a whole object rather than one of its parts
SYNTAX
At about two years of age, children start to put words together to form two-word utterances
The intonation contour extends over the two words as a unit, and the two-word utterances can convey a range of meanings:
Example: "mommy sock" = subject + object or possessive
NOTE: Chronological age is NOT a good measure of linguistic development due to individual differences, so instead linguists use the child’s mean length of utterance (MLU) to measure development
The telegraphic stage describes a phase when children tend to omit function morphemes such as articles, subject pronouns, auxiliaries, and verbal inflection
Examples: "He play little tune" or "Andrew want that"
Between 2;6 and 3;6 a language explosion occurs and children undergo rapid development
By the age of 3, most children consistently use function morphemes and can produce complex syntactic structures:
Examples: "He was stuck and I got him out" / "It’s too early for us to eat"
After 3;6 children can produce wh-questions, and relative pronouns
Sometime after 4;0 children have acquired most of the adult syntactic competence
PRAGMATICS
Deixis: Children often have problems with the shifting reference of pronouns
Children may refer to themselves as "you"
Problems with the context-dependent nature of deictic words: Children often assume the hearer knows who s/he is talking about
AUXILIARIES
In the telegraphic stage, children often omit auxiliaries from their speech but can form questions (with rising intonation) and negative sentences
Examples: "I ride train?" / "I not like this book"
As children acquire auxiliaries in questions and negative sentences, they generally use them correctly
SIGNED LANGUAGES
Deaf babies acquire sign language in the same way that hearing babies acquire spoken language: babbling, holophrastic stage, telegraphic stage
When deaf babies are not exposed to sign language, they will create their own signs, complete with systematic rules
IMITATION, REINFORCEMENT, ANALOGY
Children do imitate the speech heard around them to a certain extent, but language acquisition goes beyond imitation
Children produce utterances that they never hear from adults around them, such as "holded" or "tooths"
Children cannot imitate adults fully while acquiring grammar
Example:
Adult: "Where can I put them?" Child: "Where I can put them?"
Children who develop the ability to speak later in their childhood can understand the language spoken around them even if they cannot imitate it
NOTE: Children May Resist Correction
Example: Cazden (1972) (observation attributed to Jean Berko Gleason) – My teacher holded the baby rabbits and we patted them. – Did you say your teacher held the baby rabbits? – Yes. – What did you say she did? – She holded the baby rabbits and we patted them. – Did you say she held them tightly? – No, she holded them loosely.
Another theory asserts that children hear a sentence and then use it as a model to form other sentences by analogy
But while analogy may work in some situations, certainly not in all situations:
– I painted a red barn. – I painted a barn red. – I saw a red barn. – I saw a barn red.
Children never make mistakes of this kind based on analogy which shows that they understand structure dependency at a very young age
BIRTH ORDER
Children’s birth order may affect their speech.
Firstborns often speak earlier than later-born children, most likely because they get more one-on-one attention from parents.
They favor different words than their siblings. 
Whereas firstborns gabble on about animals and favorite colors, the rest of the pack cut to the chase with “brother,” “sister,” “hate” and such treats as “candy,” “popsicles” and “donuts.” 
The social dynamics of siblings, it would appear, prime their vocabularies for a reality different than the firstborns’ idyllic world of sheep, owls, the green of the earth and the blue of the sky.
MOTHER'S LEVEL OF EDUCATION
Children may adopt vocabulary quite differently depending on their mother’s level of education.
In American English, among the words disproportionately favored by the children of mothers who have not completed secondary education are: “so,” “walker,” “gum,” “candy,” “each,” “could,” “wish,” “but,” “penny” and “be” (ordered starting with the highest frequency).
The words favored by the children of mothers in the “college and above” category are: “sheep,” “giraffe,” “cockadoodledoo,” “quack quack,” the babysitter’s name, “gentle,” “owl,” “zebra,” “play dough” and “mittens.” 
BOYS / GIRLS
One area of remarkable consistency across language groups is the degree to which the language of children is gendered.
The words more likely to be used by American girls than by boys are: “dress,” “vagina,” “tights,” “doll,” “necklace,” “pretty,” “underpants,” “purse,” “girl” and “sweater.”
Whereas those favored by boys are “penis,” “vroom,” “tractor,” “truck,” “hammer,” “bat,” “dump,” “firetruck,” “police” and “motorcycle.”
Tips for Writing Children's Dialogue (compiled from various sources cited below):
Milestones - The dialogue you write should be consistent with the child's developmental milestones for their age. Of course, other factors should be considered such as if the child has any speech or intellectual difficulties. Also note that developmental milestones are not set in stone and each child is unique in their own way.
Too "Cutesy" - If your child characters are going to be cute, they must be cute naturally through the force of their personality, not because the entire purpose of their existence is to be adorable.
Too Wise - It’s true kids have the benefit of seeing some situations a little more objectively than adults. But when they start calmly and unwittingly spouting all the answers, the results often seem more clichéd and convenient than impressive or ironic.
Unintelligent - Don’t confuse a child’s lack of experience with lack of intelligence. 
Baby Talk - Don’t make a habit of letting them misuse words. Children are more intelligent than most people think.
Unique Individuals - Adults often tend to lump all children into a single category: cute, small, loud, and occasionally annoying. Look beyond the stereotype.
Personal Goals - The single ingredient that transforms someone from a static character to a dynamic character is a goal. It can be easy to forget kids also have goals. Kids are arguably even more defined by their goals than are adults. Kids want something every waking minute. Their entire existence is wrapped up in wanting something and figuring out how to get it.
Don't Forget your Character IS a Child - Most of the pitfalls in how to write child characters have to do with making them too simplistic and childish. But don’t fall into the opposite trap either: don’t create child characters who are essentially adults in little bodies.
Your Personal Observation - To write dialogue that truly sounds like it could come from a child, start by being an attentive listener. Spend time around children and observe how they interact with their peers and adults. You can also study other pieces of media that show/write about children's behaviour (e.g., documentaries, films, TV shows, even other written works like novels and scripts).
Context - The context in which children speak is crucial to creating realistic dialogue. Consider their environment, who they're speaking to, and what's happening around them. Dialogue can change drastically depending on whether a child is talking to a friend, a parent, or a teacher. Additionally, children's language can be influenced by their cultural background, family dynamics, and personal experiences. Make sure the context informs the dialogue, lending credibility to your characters' voices.
Sources and other related articles: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Writing Notes: On Children Writing Notes: Childhood Bilingualism
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nebulaafterdark · 2 months
Text
The Succession
Summary: After the battle of Rook’s Rest, Queen Y/N is forced to rule alongside Prince Regent Aemond, in an attempt to keep her children safe and eventually seat her mother, Rhaenyra, on the throne. While attending her husband, on what appears to be his deathbed, she begins to unravel the dark truth of his near passing.
Aegon Targaryen x Velaryon(Strong)!Reader
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“Behold, the traitor dragon, Meleys. Slain by King Aegon.”
Cole might’ve bellowed anything before the mention of Y/N’s husband and she would not have heard it. Breaching the castle doors, out onto the streets, where the smallfolk stare in wonder. The Queen has scarcely been seen in the days following her husband’s accession, leaving many to wonder if she still lives.
Here she stands, in the flesh, walking about them like a commoner. “Where is Aegon?” She finds Ser Criston, keeping pace beside his horse.
“You mustn’t be about, your grace. It is not safe.”
“Where is my husband?”
Ser Gwayne looks back toward his fallen nephew, now carried by men.
“No,” Y/N shakes her head, falling in line with the oversized box one might mistake for a casket. She can’t see much of anything through the slats.
“You must return to the castle, my Queen.” Cole circles back for her. “His Grace will need you at his side.”
“He’s alive?” Y/N breathes.
“When last I checked.”
She nods, remaining beside her husband as he is carted into the castle, up the stairs to his chambers. The maesters await him, peeling away armor and bits of charred flesh with it, to reveal the extent of his injuries.
“Is my son going to die?” Alicent asks.
“He is badly burned.” The maester informs the Queen dowager.
“Men survive burns.” Y/N says, holding a hand to her belly, attempting to quell the churning.
“He has many broken bones.”
“Bones heal.”
The grand maester sighs, “that is our hope, your grace.”
What lies beneath his breastplate is naught but more red, angry skin, or lack there of. Alicent comes round to Y/N, a rare occasion, resting a hand on her shoulder. “Mayhaps it is best you step away.”
“I will stay,” Y/N shakes her head, “if anything happens… I must stay.” Hold his hand as he goes, if it comes to it.
Alicent nods, withdrawing.
Aegon’s breathing is something awful. Men survive burns. Bones heal.
An eternity passes in that room, on bated breath. Eventually the maesters begin clearing out, leaving the King to mutter, incoherently.
“Your grace.” The grand maester turns to Y/N. “It is done.”
“Thank you, Grand Maester. For all you have done, I- I owe you a debt.”
The man takes her hand, “we can only do so much to aid in the king’s healing, I believe it is you he needs. Be his strength.”
Y/N nods, “of course.” She makes herself comfortable upon the mattress beside him as the doors close, giving them a moment alone.
Aegon’s mumblings grow louder, though still impossible to make sense of.
“Shhh,” Y/N hushes him, brushing hair from his face. “There is nothing to fear. You need only…get better for me. I will tend the council shortly, but I shall return.”
He quiets then, as though her gentle reassurance is all he wanted.
“I will not abandon you. Not now, not ever. Rest easy, my love. You are safe now.” She presses a kiss to his forehead, before taking the stairs down to join the small council.
Those sitting around the table are already in deep discussion, gaping at the Queen’s entrance, standing to greet her.
“So kind of you to wait for me, my lords.” Y/N smiles, taking her ball from the center.
“We thought you might be with his grace, the king.” The hand explains. “He will be expecting you when he wakes.”
“I am not sure he will ever wake.” The grand maester cuts in. “His fate lies with the gods now.”
“Give it time.” Y/N sniffs, “it has been mere hours since his return.”
“If Aegon could wake, he would have done so for you.” Alicent decides. “A king cannot rule in his sleep, we must appoint a regent to serve in his absence.”
“I am awake.” Y/N reminds them.
“My Queen,” Tyland Lannister interjects, ��if I may be so bold. Your lord husband has been wounded in battle, he will need your tender hand if we hope him to make any sort of recovery.”
“That is very thoughtful of you, Lord Tyland.” Y/N replies, in a measured tone. Should she lose her head before the council, there will be no coming back from it. “Still, I am willing and able to rule.”
“In the event of his grace’s untimely death, we must be prepared to proceed with the succession.”
“Understandably, and we do not lack heirs. My husband and I have four children.” Y/N shifts in her chair. “Assuming, as you have, that the men of the realm will never accept a woman on the throne, we then pass the crown to our first born son.” To charm the snakes, you must behave as a snake.
The council looks to each other. “Prince Laenor is but two years of age, our next ruling king, by law; though too young to presently serve.”
“I will advise him, I am his mother.”
Alicent rises from her seat, “might I humbly suggest myself? I have already done so during my late husband’s long illness-”
“Which was fine then?” Y/N arches a brow, “a wife to rule in her husband’s absence.”
Alicent lowers her gaze. “This is different.”
“Because I am your enemy’s daughter and named heir,” Y/N huffs. “Rules for thee, not for me. Isn’t that right?”
“Mind yourself.”
“Or what?” Y/N lifts a shoulder, “you will usurp my husband, as you did my mother?”
“Viserys changed his mind.” Alicent says, with finality. “I am sorry for what’s happened, but with his dying breath, he wished for Aegon to be king. I pray you do not hear a similar whisper from your husband anytime soon.”
“I love my husband,” Y/N seethes, “let that be known.”
“Of course, my Queen.”
“Whatever the members of this council intend to do now will be spoken plainly, in my presence.” Y/N demands, staring down at her wedding ring.
“I believe it is in our best interest to appoint Prince Aemond as Regent, until our King has been restored.” Ser Criston announces, “as hand, I know the king’s greatest concern is the safety and well being of his wife and children. We must honor that, in these unprecedented times.”
Y/N swallows, “very well.”
“My Queen.” Aemond reaches past her for the council ball, abandoned by her husband.
————————————————————————
Y/N goes through the motions, putting their children to bed. All is well, my darlings. Father needs only rest. When they have each found sleep, she returns to Aegon. Speaking to him the same way she always has, as though he can hear.
“The men of the council are restless in your absence. They circle like vultures now,” Y/N chokes out, touching the unmarred skin of his face. “And I am alone in this….I have never been alone.”
If she knew no better, she could swear his fingers twitch against hers. Mayhaps she is gripping them too tightly. She releases his hand, much to Aegon’s dismay, grumbling his discontent.
“Hush now, I am here and you are here. The rest will sort,” Y/N reminds him.
She watches him then, the heaving rise and fall of his chest, wrapped in bandages. Men survive burns. Bones heal.
In time, Alicent joins her at Aegon’s side. “Has there been any change?”
“No,” Y/N shakes her head.
“You are kind to be here, he loves nothing in the world as he loves you. I am sure your presence alone is a comfort to him.”
“That is my hope,” Y/N admits.
“I will leave you to it.” Alicent offers a hint of a smile, making for the door.
“Mummy.”
Y/N hears it, his mother does not. “Alicent,” she calls her back.
Alicent flicks away tears before turning round, “what is it?”
“He’s asking for you.”
“F-for me?”
Y/N nods, giving his hand a squeeze.
Alicent returns to his bedside, passing a hand over the side of his face. “I’m here.”
He draws in a rattling breath, “protect her.” Aegon stumbles over the words. “Please, Mummy.”
Y/N inhales sharply, hushing him.
Alicent locks eyes with her daughter by law. I pray you do not hear a similar whisper from your husband anytime soon. “I will do this, for you, Aegon. You needn’t worry.”
Aegon says nothing else, succumbing to sleep once more.
Alicent excuses herself, with a nod.
Y/N muffles the sound of her cries in the hand which isn’t holding his. She’s only half awake by the time she hears footfall and whispering at the end of her husband’s bed.
“Was it worth the price?” Helaena asks.
“I’ve no idea what you mean, my darling.” Aemond mutters, brushing his lips against her cheek.
Part 2
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