#but I don't have the body or personality or spirit that people wanna touch

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

[jar-of-something-else]

sleeping w/ the mercs [IT IS LIKE THAT]

these are so badddddd bro literally ignore this i just need practice and the mercs are my victims pinky promise i'll get better

yeah the title is the exact same as the tf2 headcanons from my main SO WHAT

if ur under 18 please don't interact 👍🏻

afab reader i’m sorry guys :( gender is totally neutral though

obviously this is under a cut

warnings/includes: MENTIONS OF SYRINGES/NEEDLES, SCALPELS, AND MEDICAL STUFF IN MEDIC'S SECTION!!!!!! AND KNIVES AND BLOOD IN SNIPER'S!!!! these are so bad, pyro is insane, medic is also insane, sniper is depraved, actually everybody's depraved, i'm depraved and also so so sorry

mostly what they're into/how they behave, nothing super reader specific in these ones

Scout:

-he’s got enough experience but he isn’t as good as he says he is, he’s got the spirit though and that’s what matters

-really good with his fingers but he can't find the clit half the time so help him out a bit

-absolutely an ass man but isn’t into anal

-scout usually likes positions where he can easily see/touch your ass (doggy, reverse cowgirl, etc)

-definitely says cringe shit in the bedroom, 100% refers to himself as daddy (which is canon i think?? i remember him having a voice line where he does that, could be wrong tho)

-has tried (and failed) to call you kitten on the regular but reverted back to the usual (still cringy) nicknames he calls you after demo made fun of him

-he never shuts up so the dirty talk is CRAZYYYY

-calls you stuff like doll, baby, babe, and uses pretty girl/boy/baby and babygirl/boy/doll when he's close

-even though he’s a little clumsy with it, he really does like giving oral, just give him a little direction; BUT likes receiving oral even more, sorry abt ur knees babe 💔

-definitely into semi-public sex, he won’t do anything in front of people but you bet your ass he’s finding some alleyway or storage closet to get freaky in

-does get jealous pretty easy and even though he’s usually not too rough with you he is not above manhandling when he sees fit

-the dog tags stay on, do with that what you will

Soldier:

-good GAWD

-literally so mean but mean in a hot way so that makes it okay

-absolutely nickname crazy; most of them aren't very cute or sexy (i.e. cadet, maggot, etc) but cupcake always makes an appearance

-very much into verbal degradation because of course he is, is also very into manhandling and just kinda tossing you around but he doesn't wanna hurt you too bad

-rarely ever fucks on an actual bed, usually it's the nearest wall/table/chair/couch, any surface you could lay/sit on really

-no the helmet is not coming off but that adds to it

-the honey IS going on though, maybe not his full body but it will make an appearance (he’s def into foodplay)

-tiny bit of a size kink, i think soldier is one of the taller, bulkier mercs so there's a very good chance he's much bigger than you in one way or another

-would absolutely be interested in a threesome with demo let's get real here

-very attracted to body hair bc i say so

-likes positions where he's very obviously the one in control/with the power; very into restraint either with some device (handcuffs, rope, etc) or with his own hands

-VERY loud, so good luck with that lmao

Pyro:

-man,,,,

-obviously into temperature and wax play

-the mask and suit do not come off, but pyro has a plethora of toys to use on you instead 😊

-gets off on the idea that he's some faceless person you can't really understand that has complete control over you and your body

-does occasionally lift the mask up just above his nostrils to kiss you, though, scarred lips be damned

-does babble a lot, even though it's all muffled; the nicknames he uses are surprisingly cute, he'll call you stuff like sugarplum, marshmallow, firefly, sugar cube, and other sickly-sweet names

-doesn't like showing you his bare skin/body because of their burn scars, but pyro does enjoy grinding if you wanna help him out that bad

-derives most of his pleasure from making you feel good, though, so he isn't really looking for any type of physical release on his end

-pyro's are kinda short i just can't think of any more rn i apologize 💔

Demo:

-WHAT A MAN 😍😍😍

-#1 lover out of all the mercs get fucked spy

-i think his build is very similar to soldiers, maybe an inch or two taller, so he definitely has the same lowkey size kink

-is also open to a threesome with soldier

-absolutely a service dom but he teases so much

-FAKE SYMPATHY!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!!!!

-likes when you call him by his name more than any of the cheesy titles dudes usually want their significant other to call them but he is always referring to you by any nickname he can think of; the most popular ones are lamb, sweetheart, lass/lad, my girl/boy/baby and "poor, sweet thing"

-loves talking to you and making you talk back to him even when you're literally on a different planet; makes you tell him what you want him to do even though he knows exactly what you're gonna say

-also slightly into dumbification (not to the extent medic or engineer are, though, he just thinks it's hot)

-very much into face and thigh riding

-foreplay alone could last as long as an hour if he's feeling "mean" at that particular time

-THIGH MAN!!!!!! LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!

-makes you hold eye contact with him, sometimes the eyepatch comes off 🥴

-likes giving a whole lot more than receiving but he isn't about to turn down a blowjob if you offer

-waking you up with oral, it's his version of breakfast in bed

Heavy:

-and you thought demo was a service dom 🙄

-literally will do whatever you ask him to he does not care, as long as you feel good he's content

-very obvious size kink and it's very easy to exploit, but heavy doesn't take too kindly to teasing (he isn't about to stop you, though)

-speaks mostly in russian so unless you're fluent you can't really understand him but you get the gist of what he's saying by the tone in his voice

-outside of whatever russian bullshit he's spouting out, he calls you his "leetle bunny"

-tries to be gentle with you because of how big he is, but if he's provoked he can and will get wild

-as stated above, he can and will get wild, which includes his dirty talk; russian praise will turn into demeaning english muttered in your ear

-BREEDING KINK !!!!!!!!!!

-doesn't tease you on purpose, but he goes slow enough to where you think he's fucking with you (no pun intended)

-begging is never necessary but it is a guilty pleasure of his

-doesn't ask to receive oral often but watching you struggle with it does kinda turn him on even more

-face sitting extraordinaire, yes he does make the stupid eating sounds like in the game and yes he does it on purpose to try to make you laugh

-LET HEAVY FUCK NASTY GOD DAMN IT!!!

Engineer:

-WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN 😍😍😍

-much stronger than you'd think he is and he does use that to his advantage

-slight temperature play when the gunslinger is involved, it's just a little colder than room temperature but it's a very stark contrast

-loves conflicting his speech with his actions; he'll sweet talk and praise you while he's railing you into next week

-speaking of, he'll call you anything but your name. honeybee, honey, darlin', sweet girl/boy/baby, baby girl/boy/doll, any nickname that sounds hot in a southern accent he's callin you

-he absolutely has a daddy kink but won't tell you unless you have one too and approach him first, chances are you're younger than he is and he doesn't wanna make you think he's a weirdo

-all in all, the dirty talk is INSANEEEEEEEE

-absolutely into dumbification, he knows he's smart and he gets off on the power imbalance when you're babbling about nothing and he's still perfectly present

-also slightly into dacryphilia? it's not attractive when you're crying from pain, sadness, frustration, etc but he likes making you feel so good you're overwhelmed and all you can do is cry for him

-might forget to take the helmet and goggles off, but if you want him to keep them on then by all means he will

-would absolutely abide by the cowboy hat rule (if you don't know what that is, basically if a cowboy puts his hat on your head y'all are fuckin' later on)

-very much into bigger people, the extra chub around the thighs, chest, cheek, and stomach areas are a weakness of his

MEDIC!

-the moment we've all been waiting for

-kinda like soldier in the fact that he's mean in a hot way, but it's less bully-mean and more absolutely deranged mean

-of course he's into degradation and medical play, definitely dacryphilia and dumbification (for similar reasons engineer is), another merc with a slight size kink cause medic is big as hell

-likes to get you on the operation table and trace a syringe or scalpel (or both if he's feeling patient [haha get it]) along your body purely for the fear it evokes from you

-wants to get you scared/vulnerable and that's how he starts his foreplay; totally into the whole predator/prey thing but not in the same way sniper is, medic is more into metaphorical or psychological hunting rather than the actual thing

-FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!

-teases, edges, and overstimulates you to the point of tears and gets this stupid smug look on his face while cooing at you

-calls you demeaning names, like pet, but he's got some cute ones he uses too; täubchen, maus, schatz, and liebling (dove, mouse, sweetheart, and darling) are very prevalent in and outside of the bedroom

-if you're okay with it, medic does like to use you as a bit of stress relief when everybody else is getting on his nerves

-is 100% down for a doctor/nurse or doctor/patient roleplay let's get real here

-also into semi-public sex, sometimes he'll leave the medbay door unlocked and slightly ajar purpose just to mess with you

-though he is very rough with you most of the time, he likes to save his more tender moments for when the two of you are in an actual bedroom and not his workspace

Sniper:

-wild. like genuinely doesn't know what to do with himself when he's horny he just goes fucking crazy.

-even though he gets crazy insane, he doesn’t really know what all to do and it frustrates him; he doesn't have much experience when it comes to sexual acts with another person involved so please give him some pointers

-absolutely into knife play come on

-if you have a period, he'd also be down for period sex he does not care about blood in the slightest

-isn't all that nickname-heavy like some of the other mercs here, but he does sprinkle them into his dirty talk. it's usually the same things he calls you outside of the bedroom, like 'roo, darl', and love

-into body worship, giving or receiving. he likes making you feel beautiful and he likes feeling good about himself too

-would definitely want you to suck him off while he does target practice and i know this is such a popular headcanon but come on guys

-another popular headcanon is sniper being into predator/prey dynamics which like,,,come on. it's literally perfect. you're telling me this nutcase dude wouldn't be into scaring the shit out of you by physically hunting you down. it's basically canon idc

-likes biting and leaving marks on your neck/shoulders in very visible areas because he's kind of a possessive guy ngl

-as much as he likes people seeing the aftermath of what he does to you, sniper is a very private person so he really wouldn't be all that into sneaky sex. the closest you'll get is his sniper nest while he does target practice on cease-fire days

Spy:

-despite being an asshole on the regular, he's a very attentive lover

-into body worship but only giving, he already knows he's fine and he wants to make sure you're never insecure about yourself

-bilingual babe 😍 speaks in french so much you can't really understand what he's talking about but he's more than happy to give you a translation

-also has a daddy kink let's get real here

-KNIFE PLAY!!!!!!!!!!

-heavily into power play as well, similar to pyro because he'll keep his clothes (including the mask and gloves) on while you're completely bare to him

-likes buying you lingerie

-likes getting and giving head the same amount, he has no real preference cause it's gonna end in sex every time anyway 🤷‍♀️

-french nicknames ONLY!!!! mon cher (my dear), ma chérie/mon chéri (my darling), amour/mon amour (love/my love), gentille fille/garçon/bébé (sweet girl/boy/baby), mon ange (my angel) [currently using my basic understanding of the french language for evil]

-semi-public and public sex spy does not give a fuck he has a cloaking device for a reason 🙄🙄

-if you don't already have one he will give you an accent kink

[inkdrinkerworld]

going through some breakup blues rn😞😞😞

could i please have smth w dealer!remus?? maybe she’s had a shit week so she goes to buy and her and remus hangout and he finally makes a move on her

miss my boy (dealer!rem) ((and also my ex pls help me💀))

aw babe im sorry you broke up :(( i hope this lifts your spirits a little

remus stops breathing for a short second when you walk into his apartment that doubles as his dispensary. he's sure sirius had let you in on his way out and he finds that he doesn't mind.

not when you're wearing his jumper from the last time you were over and a mini skirt that makes your legs look stunning to him.

"remmy, i need three pre-rolls, please." you slump down into his sofa, head dropping to his lap with a familiar ease that makes both your hearts jump.

you'd always been affectionate with remus, but it had been hard determining what was okay and what wasn't at first. he'd hardly smiled when you did anything flirty or flambouyant, then you had learnt his little tells.

like now, his hand pets your head and then falls to your shoulder. a light pressure and heat that bleeds into your skin.

"three? you usually only take two," another tell. he's always listening, always picking up on what it is you're saying even if you don't think it's super obvious. "is something wrong?"

anyone watching you now would think remus is being his usual self, but his eyebrows are a little too close for it to be regular concern. you're sure if you told remus someone was messing with you he'd sort them out even if he said nothing in the moment.

you sigh, shutting your eyes when his fingers follow the curve of your neck to the back of your head. "just school and work. think i need a breather this weekend." you say it all in one breath, relaxing into remus even more when he begins applying pressure to the base of your skull.

"how about you share mine with me and i give you two to take home?" remus pulls a pre-roll from his pocket and holds it out to you. "i'll give you the majority," he dangles the offer in your face and you smile.

"okay," remus lights it for you, taking the initial drag before handing it off to you. "thanks remmy."

you only sit up halfway, leaning into remus as you take hit after hit. your eyes go droopy, head feeling heavier and lighter at the same time as you pass of the quarter of the blunt that's left to remus.

"you wanna talk about it?" he asks around the blunt, watching you lay your head back into his lap and reach for the soft blanket that remus keeps on his sofa.

"not much to say, everyone thinks i'm disposable and that i'm just good for sex. it can wear you down." the way you say it makes remus frown.

"that's not all you're good for," he says it with enough conviction that your eyes set on him. "you're not just sex and those people are knobheads for thinking that."

you give remus a smile, a bright smile that makes his heart warm. he can't really imagine people only seeing you for your body, you're an incredibly astonishing person outside of that. but he knows how people think, and he's more sorry than anything else that you were victim to that thinking.

"i know you don't think that remmy, you're one of the best guys i know." you kiss the wrist of the hand that's back to working at the base of your neck.

"really?" he stubs out the blunt as he looks down at you, pulling the blanket higher up your hips as he sinks lower into the sofa.

"yes really, i know you wouldn't act like they did. i know you respect me."

remus smiles a bright smile even for him. both corners of his lips pull up even if only a touch.

"of course i do, you're the best person i know too dovey." he kisses your forehead before laying his head back against the sofa.

"do you think we'd date remus?" you ask after a couple beats of silence.

his breath hitches and he hopes you don't feel it. "maybe i'm waiting till i get a reservation to take you out," you twist in his lap, sitting up quickly. the movement causes your skirt to bunch up and remus brushes it down flat as you lean into him.

it causes remus to lean back, back pressed into the sofa as you hover over him. "you're going to take me out somewhere fancy?"

he laughs then, soft and low but it still sounds happy and like remus. "i can't take a pretty girl like you just anywhere, can i? gotta show you off, dovey." he pulls you over him completely, letting you lay on him. the blanket covers you both soon after.

"you're nicer than you let people think remmy," you rub your face into the his chest, nose breathing in his pine and mint scent that's fogged up with a little smoke.

"get some sleep, i think your memory is murky." you laugh softly in his chest, especially when remus pinches your hip. it's different being with remus, he's earnest in everything he does concerning you and it feels good- to be acknowledged in the way that he acknowledges you.

[cambion-companion]

I cannot concentrate on my work (ironically as a TA writing up my phd thesis) because I read your intelligence 8 tav x raphael fics and now I am shaken to the core and all I wanna do is daydream about being a clueless little slut in the house of hoep

please saer can I have some more

hahaha I'm so glad that brain worm took root, intelligence 8 Tav is delightful. I also wanted to incorporate this lovely ask as well and express my gratitude for the support you all have given me this month. All is well! Enjoy a drabble with a Tav/reader utterly oblivious to the true nature of a cambion...to them he's just a tiefling with wings! how cool!

Raphael + reader (gn) drabble

(I'll probably write another that's more romantic/cute but this was too funny to pass up)

"You have an uncanny talent at getting into the most outlandish situations." Raphael pinched the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger, inhaling a deep breath.

You looked around at the decadent room he'd rented for himself, steam rising from two baths and flower petals ornamenting the lush red carpet. "I wouldn't think a devil-guy would be the sort to have tulips thrown about."

"Roses." Raphael corrected, his hand clasping firm about your upper arm just in time to save you from slipping on the wet tile and braining yourself. "I would wager a hefty sum of gold your mind does not entertain too many thoughts at one time."

"Thank you." You murmured, touched. You allowed him to escort you to safety upon a chair and watched with vague interest at how his lips twisted in bemusement. "I should thank you for saving my bacon back there. Wasn't expecting to survive that. But Shart always gets Withers to bring me back when we run out of those glowy scroll things."

"I do believe I sense a migraine coming on." Raphael squeezed his eyes shut briefly before crossing to pour you both a glass of dark brown alcohol.

You took the fancy crystal glass and downed the drink with gusto, only realizing your mistake when the scorching whiskey had passed into your gullet, and you burst into a coughing fit. Raphael sighed and gave you a solid couple thumps on your back as you struggled to breath. "There now. Death by imbibing spirits too eagerly is no way to enter the afterlife. Not until you've served your purpose, at least."

"What?"

"I'm concerned for your well-being, dear."

You wiped your eyes with your sleeve. "That's really nice of you, Raph." He winced at the nickname but just barely managed to keep a pleasant neutral expression. "I don't know why everyone else threw such a fit about you, you're not a bad dude."

"I'm flattered." Raphael almost felt a sense of annoyance at how easy this was. He enjoyed a challenge, and this mortal was certainly not bringing it. He drained his glass fluidly and returned it with a clink to the table. "Now, your person is more or less stable for the time being."

You looked around, checking behind you. "What person?"

"Your body has been plucked from the peril you so naively flounced into." Raphael clarified, a slight edge to his words now, he was running low on patience. "Be a good mouse and run along, fetch me the crown and we can part ways amicably."

"I never imagined mice to be much good at fetching." You mused, rising to your feet as Raphael practically pushed you from his room. "That seems more a dog's forte. Oh, we have a most wonderful dog back at camp-"

The door closed in your face, so close it almost clipped your nose. You stared at the dark wood for a moment, then smiled and shrugged. You spoke a little louder so he would be able to hear through it. "His name is Scratch! What was I saying? Oh yes, dogs fetch crowns and balls better than mice! Maybe keep that in mind when giving people animal nicknames!"

No answer.

He must have gone to take a nap. You were sure cambions probably did that often since they seemed to act much like cats in every other way.

Smiling to yourself you departed, convinced that you and Raphael were now bosom friends.

[echoing-gravity]

Blind Earthshaker Au

I wanna see a series rewrite where everything is the same except Percy is blind but can see better than everyone around him and has Katara's ice bending and toph beifong's Seismic Vibration Senses.

Like his dad is called the earth SHAKER so I don't think he can bend the earth too well but Percy is like feeling and making tiny vibrations/Earthquakes with his feet to see. He's super weak to air based projectiles think arrows. Or like literally anything a wind spirit picks up and throws in his general direction.

(He will tap his foot like an angry rabbit when hes stressed or caught off guard. I'm thinking wind spirits since they don't touch the ground OR have any water inside their bodies)

He can also "see" like where all the water is around him in a certain distance. Like mentally he has a 3d map of where things are. He doesn't like going places where theirs not a lot of water/or gorund. he can like tell when people are nervous by the speed of their blood flow/ the rhythm of their hearts. And is super precise with his ice bending be cuz of it.

Maybe Sally dies early or something and like we've got like 7 year old blind Percy wandering the streets but like since he can see where all the monsters are with his vibration earthy senses he can avoid them really well. Like "oh huh that guy has Hoooves? Nope. Percy outta here. Noo thanks." Since the mist is mostly sight based, and stuff, I feel like Percy would have a HUGE advantage.

In cannon it's shown that Percy is like really clairvoyant, what with all his dreams and stuff. So in my au he knows about the big three pact, and is just bullshiting people into thinking he's related to Khione goddess of snow and ice. And desperately trying not to let into the fact that he's blind.

(Luke/or/annabeth/or/Leo/or/Rachel/or Whoever he ends up being best friends with figures it out eventually be cuz theyve been friends for so long.)

At some point he runs into an 11yr old Luke pre- Luke meeting Thalia&Annabeth. And then we have them having the dynamic of Percy being a manic feral little shit and Luke trying to be responsible and protect him but ends up being the one protected all the time. I think it'd be funny.

Or maybe he runs into 7 year old annabeth and they become badass -cant be beat- besties. Percy snipe murdering every spider in a quarter mile radius, after he finds out annabeth is afraid of them.

I'm more partial to the meets Luke one cuz then when Percy and annabeth go on their first quest we'd get this fucking glorious scene:

Annabeth: no don't look Percy! You'll die!

Unhinged feral blind Percy: hahaha bitch u thought!!! *He says as he uncaps riptide witch was hidden in his hand.*

Medusa: *gurgling noise be cuz there is now a sword in her neck.*

Or in book two:

Circe standing with Percy Infront of enchanted mirror: isn't there Something u wish u could change about ur appearance? Drink this magic smoothie!

Unhinged feral blind Percy: haha bitch YOU THOUGHT.

Circe is now being held at knife point. (Or.. smootie- icicle point?)

Or if a pissed off god flashes their true form.

Hera: how... how are you alive?!

*Percy with his head tilted/angled so it looks like he's looking at them.*

Percy: *sing-songy voice* I know something yoooouuu doooonnntt! :)

Or if he gets hit by cupids arrow.

Cupid: the next person u look at with direct eye contact you will fall helplessly in love with them.

unhinged feral blind Percy: HAHAHA BITCH GUESS WHAT!

I'm sure there's more areas in the books or just Greek mythos in general where being blind is actually an advantage, but I can't think of any off the top of my head.

Or oooor -this is the one that I see being most likely to happen- hear me out: he runs into LEO. Since Hera was using the mist like crazy to hide him, but Percy is unaffected/immune to the most because He. Can't. See. It.

They steal/hijack an RV to live in. That could be cool. Leo has trama based on like burning people, right? Percy in canon Swam in LAVA, boy is fire-fucking-PROOF!! Fire and ice friends!

('oh my gods, they were roommates' perleo shipping intensifies)

Leo probably: you're nickname shall be Snowflake. Becuz ice powers.

Leo mentally: "wow! this person is really pretty, and funny and is like me, AND THEIR FUCKING FIREPROOF?"

Leo mentally: lets get fucking married.

Or maybe Sally doesn't die and Percy's blindness is known. He goes to school and guess who volunteered to help read his paperwork to him. That's right our favorite eco-rights activist: Rachel Elizabeth Dare!

Since Percy is blind he doesn't? Have dyslexia? I'm not entirely sure about how to explain this one. But like he's blind. People read things for him. (so he isnt effected by having dyslexia, becuase someone else is reading things for him.) He'd have good grades. Percy is sooo fucking smart. But like no one remembers cuz annabeth is always putting him down with all that doubt in canon. "Seaweed Brain!" I hate that nickname. Fuck canon annabeth. U don't have to put others down to have confidence in yourself omfg.

someone who isnt me write it. this is a writing prompt go! fanfic writers gooo!

[msommers]

✈️🧡🤔😞 for riya, ghilly and aphrodite!

thank you!! let's breeze right by the fact that i forgot this in my drafts for numerous days bc i have too many things in there, it's embarrassing // details about ocs

✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person?

RIYA — she's being scammed because Riya would love traveling if she wasn't doing it as a damn Grey Warden. she misses home more than she ever thought she could, but the potential love of journeying around is definitely there. it's exciting getting to meet new people, interact with different cultures, view all new kinds of aesthetics and traditions, etc etc. plus it gives her the opportunity to flirt with all kinds of people and we know she loves that lmao 

GHILLY — home is wherever Ama is, and Ama is her constant companion during her travels so like. best of both worlds. between the two of them they practically carry a home with them anyway—tent, supplies, comforts, materials for hobbies, etc etc, they got it all packed away and ready whenever they decide on a location to set up in. she's got that strong wanderlust in her, hard to picture an end to traveling. 

APHRODITE — loves travel because she grew up in a home that she hated so deeply and did everything she could to stay out of it at any chance. she also just enjoys it in general, especially now that she doesn't have to be involved in the planning/scheduling whatsoever and she can fully live in the moment (you know, outside of when she's being bossed around because she's on a tv show but we ignore that bit). 

❤️ RED HEART — what are three of your oc's positive traits?

RIYA — passionate, audacious, protective. 

GHILLY — curious, open-minded, sincere. 

APHRODITE — loyal, creative, funny. 

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

RIYA — plays with her hair a lot, the most expressive hands and facial expressions you’ve seen while in conversation, winking aficionado, loosely clasped hands at her front, gets real close to / initiates touch often when talking to people, incapable of not checking her appearance in a reflective surface, flutters eyelashes, purposefully does her best to look hot even while idle 

GHILLY — has an accent while speaking elvhen, expressions/reactions appear toned down, summons wisps into her lantern to play with when it’s quiet, traces her vallaslin while in thought, moves at an unhurried pace 98% of the time, character bleed if too much time spent connected to a single spirit

APHRODITE — pushes her hair behind an ear more frequently than necessary, bobs her head/dances to the music she’s writing in her head, big time eye-roller, pulls her hair back to make for a hairstyle then gives up part way through, leggy bouncy disease (critical), bites pens/pencils, “nice [insert artist name here] reference” if somebody unwittingly name drops a song/lyric she likes, exaggerated hip swaying while walking

😞 DISAPPOINTED FACE — does your oc attract others, or do they tend to be left alone?

RIYA — don't know if it's pulled it off in-game, but Riya's intended to be the kinda girly that grabs everyone's attention when she enters the scene because of her presence, charm, and [usually] beautiful wardrobe. tbh i think she attracts people no matter what her mood is because she's so expressive and open about everything. she looks like she's having a great time at a party? you feel like you could approach and she'd pull you into the vibes without hesitation. she's throwing a fit in anger? you highkey wanna engage just to hear her rant about whatever's made her so mad. she's sitting there upset? you have no choice but to go over there between how her eyes literally Glitter with tears and the way her entire body gives off "i'm in desperate need of support, please baby me". (she'd also rather fucking Die than be alone for more than 5 minutes so there's that. she puts in the effort to be approachable.) 

GHILLY — i can see both ends of the scale being true for Ghilly. sometimes she wants to be left alone and puts effort into outwardly displaying that in ways people can easily pick up on, and other times you can practically feel her welcoming anybody into her circle with open arms. 

APHRODITE — this bitch has a gravitational pull about her. you either want to get close so you can join in on her incredible vibes, or because you want to figure out just how much of a front she's putting on because nobody's That loud with their personality unless parts of it are ramped up for attention. she's rarely found alone and that's certainly on purpose, she needs others around to avoid the introspection.

[radfemsiren]

Hi! I really like your page so I hope you don’t mind if I bitch and moan to you real quick. I’m kind of tired of being put in the same situation every time I meet a guy. It’s always “Oh great! A new friend!” because I guess I’m a really naive person and I can never read the room. Ends up; they always want to date me and I have to end up rejecting them. #1: I’m a lesbian and #2: I’m at a point in my life where I just don’t wanna be in a relationship right now. It’s always this whole thing where I spiral back into self-hatred “Why do I have to like women? Why can’t I be attracted to him so I don’t have to hurt him?” that kinda thing. And then I feel even more guilty for worrying about my own emotions more than I worry about the guy I just rejected. Then afterwards if we stay friends….they always talk about how hard it is for guys in the dating pool, and how they’ll never find a partner. I just kinda feel like they’re indirectly talking to me every time they talk like that. Even though they never mention me….there’s always this pit in my stomach whenever the topic is brought up. I try to lift their spirits by telling them that it’s way too early for them to give up on dating, but they tell me that I wouldn’t know what it’s like for guys out there. Maybe I’m complaining about nothing? Maybe I should be happy that people actually want me when some guys don’t even get that? I feel like I don’t have a right to complain but I just feel more and more shitty the more I try to put myself out there and meet more friends. Accounts like yours are the only ones who have made me feel better about this whole situation. I just wanted to get that off my chest; and it’d be nice to know your opinion on it if you actually read this whole thing LOL!

Lol I did read the whole thing and I completely understand! I have this problem too which is why I've completely given up having any friendships with men. A lot of people accuse feminists of being bitter and only into women's rights because we "failed" to get male attention. This could not be further from the truth. I receive a lot of male attention and 90% of the time, its unwanted and just gives me a jumble of anxiety and irritation, and a negative thought pattern just like the one you described. So many women feel this, where its like "Ok, now how do I go about this problem? :/"

What I recommend is 2 things. First, understand that men have entitlement issues because of male socialization. Male socialization is basically society at large conceding to every whim and tantrum men throw in order to get their way, creating overgrown toddlers who feel like they deserve everything their sight touches. Understand that even the nicest of male friends have this issue to some degree, and you won't have these guilty feelings because you accept that they would never feel the same way about a girl they're not attracted to bothering them. Many men actually feel pride and excitement at the chance of turning a woman down, or at best, downright indifference. It's very rare to meet a guy that feels real guilt and shame if he's being put in the situation you're in. Because women are socialized to feel shame and guilt, even when they are not doing anything wrong.

Secondly, its important to understand that being "fuckzoned" is a million times worse than being "friendzoned." So many women every day get fuckzoned, which means only their body and potential for giving pleasure is seen as important. Meanwhile, friendzoning happens to men, which means their personality, laughter, thoughts and feelings are the priority. Which sounds better? Which problem sounds more humanizing? So when they feel bad, or keep complaining about their dating life to you (which is definitely directed at you, don't think you are imagining the hints, trust your gut) just remember that you are overhumanizing them, while they are underhumanizing you.

[greatideas-badwriter]

Worth The Risk: Chapter 2

AN: You know what I love in stories like this? CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!

Ol' Sasu can't be a great guy right off the bat, or else things would be boring, right?

Right, guys?

…Guys?

Anyway, please keep that in mind for the first half of this story.

ALSO, I'll switch back and forth from Sasuke and Sakura's POV, so we can experience BOTH sides of the story.

Don't like that?

I wanna say tough titties because I should be confident and strong, but I want people to like me and this fic, so….uh….Please give it a chance? Ha!

Thanks for reading! :D

Sakura's spirits were lower than low as she allowed Ino to pull her toward the bar at some club one week after being fired from Oasis. She wasn't successful in procuring a job, even after her self-imposed deadline. So, after explaining the situation to her new friend, the woman was convinced to come out drinking before she left.

The bus ticket to Konoha was for next week, Monday, eight days away. All her belongings were packed and ready to go except her clothes.

"The drinks are on me tonight, Bestie! Let's get shit-faced!" Karin, who'd also tagged along, shared an excited grin with Ino as they flagged down the bartender and submitted a drink order.

She stood there, feeling uncomfortable and depressed in the otherwise lively environment. Music was playing so loudly that they had to almost yell to hear one another, and the bass vibrated her ribcage each time it hit.

It was like she saw herself in a third-person point of view as the trio of women took shots of tequila, following them up with the classic dash of salt and lime.

"Geez, you didn't even flinch, Saku. Lighten up a little. It'll be alright. We'll keep in touch, right Karin?"

It was apparent the two Otogakure women were trying to cheer her up by any means necessary, and if the situation wasn't as bleak as it was, Sakura might've teared up at that kindness.

"Sorry. I'm just going to miss you guys, is all."

"Well, if you mean that, let's make this the best night ever!"

Feeling guilty for not being completely honest about why she was so upset about returning home to Konoha, Sakura allowed them to pressure her into taking many more shots. Two hours later, just after midnight, all three women were thoroughly inebriated.

Karin was the first to abandon the group, having recognized a boy she'd gone to high school with who apparently had the glow-up of the century. She excused herself with a determination to seduce him. With a body and face akin to that of a lingerie model, Sakura didn't doubt the redhead would succeed, especially judging by the pink on the white-haired man's face when he noticed her approaching.

Ino and the pinkette danced and drank for half an hour before a familiar-looking man with black hair and pale skin approached, asking if the blonde would like to dance.

'Oh! I think that's the guy she was flirting with at Oasis! He was there on my first day and the Friday after that. Ino said he's hot. I should make sure she knows it's okay. I'd hate to ruin her chances,' Sakura covertly grinned with a slight nod when her drinking partner glanced uncertainly her way.

She mouthed, "Thank you," before allowing the man to take her hand and lead her back to the dance floor.

So, the Haruno woman was on her own, sipping some sort of mixed drink that burned the back of her throat, though she'd grown numb to the sensation since she was drunk. She turned to lean her back against the bar, searching the crowd for her two friends to see how they were fairing.

A knowing grin tugged at her lips when she saw Karin pulling her target through the crowd toward the exit with a triumphant expression. They were obviously going home together.

Ino was beaming as she danced excitedly with her crush, who looked at her like she was the most exciting thing on the planet. Either he was just as drunk as her or liked the blonde a lot. Maybe it was both reasons.

Sighing blissfully, Sakura turned back toward the counter and tossed back the rest of her drink. Her friends were right. The negative emotions weren't nearly as overwhelming in her inebriated state. She didn't feel as awkward as usual sitting alone at the bar in a packed dance club. Instead, she felt warm and happy.

"What's a beautiful woman like you doing alone up here?" Sakura's spine straightened when a low, attractive voice came behind her.

Turning in her seat, the breath in her throat became stuck when dark, expressive eyes locked onto hers. The rest of the man was just as stunning. His black hair had that naturally tousled look that came off as attractive rather than messy, his jawline was so sharp it could likely cut diamonds, and his lips looked soft as they turned up into a small, flirty grin. His high-end, dark clothing suited him to a tee, too.

On any other day, Sakura would've been terrified to be in the presence of a strange man, especially one this tall and fit, but she threw caution to the wind because she was determined to have a good night no matter what, "I was waiting for a handsome guy like you to come change that."

'Oh my God, Sakura Haruno. You totally just flirted, and it wasn't a complete failure! Maybe you've still got it after all these years!'

The man lifted a sleek eyebrow, placing a hand on the counter's edge and leaning in so she could hear him better, "Is that right? Allow me to end your suffering. Let's go."

A small smile met the woman's lips as he offered a hand, and she paused only for a moment to think about it before accepting and allowing him to guide her out to the floor. Once in a spot that he found appropriate, the pair danced.

Drunk and carefree, a song or two later, Sakura turned around, a wave of satisfaction and arousal rolling up her insides when his hands found her hips and guided her back against him, where they moved sensually to the beat.

That tantalizing voice met her right ear as his lips appeared beside it, his breath tickling her skin, "I didn't expect you to be so good at this."

Bravely, she ran a hand up into his hair on the back of his head, turning her neck slightly so he could lean further where his ear was toward her, "Really? Did you only ask me to dance because you pitied me sitting up there all alone?"

An attractive chuckle vibrated through his chest against her back, "You're not here alone, Baby. I saw you with your friends earlier. I just waited for the right time to come over."

Sakura's breath hitched when his hands moved slowly up from her hips to her waist, long fingers squeezing slightly as though trying to memorize the curves. Her eyes closed, head falling back slightly to rest against his shoulder with a knowing smirk, "What a stalker! Should I run?"

He buried his face in the crook of her neck, kissing it once before wooing into her damp skin, "If so, I'll chase you."

Not knowing what to say to such blatant flirting, Sakura just laughed, arching her neck a little so he'd have better access to it. Taking the hint, he kissed her again, lips brushing her skin as he moved them up to her ear, where he whispered, "Tell me your name. Mine is-"

Sakura sat up with a gasp, looking around in a panic only to realize she was in bed at her apartment. A swift breath sucked in past her lips when a throbbing headache suddenly hit. She lifted a hand to her temple, groaning. 'What happened last night? I was dancing with some guy, and then everything just goes blank.'

Green eyes widened, and the woman dropped her hand, lifting the blanket to verify she wasn't naked and becoming dizzy upon realizing she was wearing a man's dark blue button-up shirt and her undergarments, nothing else. Instantly, tears were rolling heavily down her cheeks.

'Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I slept with that guy, didn't I? How could I be so stupid?' Pausing in her anxiety attack, she looked at the empty spot on the other side of the bed, 'Wait a minute…Where is he? Did he really leave without taking his shirt back? And did we use protection? I don't have enough money for emergency contraceptives right now!'

Her hectic thoughts went blank when she noticed a small piece of paper on her nightstand. Picking it up with trembling fingers, her pulse heightened further. It said, "Call me when you wake up. -Sasuke," followed by a phone number.

Sakura immediately grabbed her phone and dialed "Sasuke's" number. When she realized she should probably take a moment to calm down and gather herself, it was too late because a familiar voice came from the device, "Hello?"

"U-Um, hi. Is this Sasuke?" The girl covered her face with one hand, cursing herself for sounding so obviously upset and lame.

"Oh, hey. You're the girl from last night, right? Did you really call me the moment you woke up? I'm flattered."

She moved the device away to look at the screen and realized it wasn't even nine in the morning yet, which was very early after the night of partying the pair had done. Mortified, she stammered, deciding to get the information she needed and get off the phone because it wasn't like she'd ever see him again anyway, "Yes, I…. I want to ask you something. Did we, um…. Were we careful last night, or…?" Her voice betrayed her, wavering and cracking as she fell into tears again.

'I can't believe I let something like this happen. I've only ever slept with one other person in my life. This was too reckless.'

There was a long pause, "Careful? What're you talking about?"

Sniffling, Sakura squeezed her eyes closed and forced out, "Did you use a condom or not? Please just answer the question so if you didn't, I can…. You know…." A chuckle met her ears, making her frown deepen, "I-Is something funny?"

Sasuke sobered up, sighing amusedly before finally easing her gutwrenching worry, "We didn't fuck, you idiot. Stop crying."

The woman stammered, baffled, "But you were in my apartment, right? Your shirt…."

"Listen, I would've gone through with it if you hadn't passed out. I'm still offended, you know."

For some reason, the pinkette giggled, trying to muffle it with her hand before wiping at her slowing tears, "I fell asleep? How embarrassing…."

"You're embarrassed? How do you think I feel?"

"Sorry! I-I don't remember anything at all, but, um, thank you for making sure I got home safe."

Sakura's eyes widened when she realized she was smiling. Sasuke's unserious, casual responses comforted her somehow. It'd been a long time, four years to be exact since it was this easy to talk to a male.

He chuckled again, "I tell you what. Get dinner with me tonight, and I'll consider forgiving you."

The woman's grin fell. 'Does he want to meet up because we didn't sleep together last night, and he wants to try his luck again?'

"It'd be cool if we hooked up after; I know that's probably what you're worried about, and I won't say no if you offer, but I actually just want my shirt back. It was a gift from my brother; otherwise, I'd let you keep it. I just figured we could grab a bite while we're out."

Reassured, Sakura hesitantly agreed, "Um, okay then. Where should I meet you?"

'What's the harm in getting dinner with him? I'll be on a bus to Konoha next week anyway, and I won't have anything to eat today if I don't accept.'

So, she cleaned the shirt carefully, following the instructions on its tag, showered, dressed, and killed time until the afternoon when it was time to meet Sasuke.

Sakura was a few minutes late when arriving at the address she'd been given but received a text while approaching the restaurant building, saying he was also running behind. So, rather than awkwardly sit at a table by herself inside, she leaned against the side of the building and scrolled through apps on her phone while waiting. She also texted her date to let him know so he'd approach her when he arrived.

'I can't remember what his face looks like, but I do know he was handsome. Will I even recognize him when he gets here? Knowing me, I'm going to make a fool out of myself. I haven't gone on a date in years, after all. What kind of twenty-one-year-old am I?'

She knew why she was the way she was but refused to dwell on the reason, for it'd ruin her mood and make her want to abandon their plans.

"Hey, I'm here. Let's go in. It's freezing."

Sakura stood straight, gaze lifting from her phone to the familiar voice at her side, only to lay eyes on the dark-haired asshole that'd gotten her fired from Oasis. Fear flooded her entire body, the small bag containing the man's shirt falling to the ground as she shakily took a few steps away.

Sasuke lifted a brow, "What's wrong with you?"

'...He doesn't recognize me. Do I tell him? If I do, he might hurt me. He was pissed the last time I saw him, after all. Should I try to run? What if he chases me? I should just make an excuse and get out of here before he figures it out.'

"I-I….Something came up, so I can't stay. Goodbye!"

She turned and began walking quickly down the alleyway from the intimidating man, only for him to jog up and grab her wrist, "What's your problem?"

Terror locked the woman's limbs, and she tugged weakly at her wrist, remembering how tightly he'd squeezed it at the bar that night. She couldn't even turn to face him. "P-Please let go. I really need to get out of here."

"You might be the worst liar I've ever met. At least look me in the eye. Don't be fuckin' rude."

When she didn't obey his command, he grabbed her shoulder and forced her to turn, lightly shoving her against the alleyway wall and leering down at her with that dreadful glare. The act triggered memories of her ex-boyfriend doing the same thing, which brought tears to Sakura's eyes as she looked helplessly up at Sasuke.

It was like a rabbit staring a wolf in the mouth.

He didn't appear to care that she was scared and growled, "Tell me what your problem is. It can't be that you aren't attracted to me, so what is it?"

If she wasn't trembling like a leaf and fearing for her life, Sakura would've scoffed at his egotistical statement. 'He won't let me go until I tell him the truth. I just hope he doesn't cause too much damage. I can't afford to go to the hospital.'

"You really don't remember me?"

His glare faltered only slightly, "What?"

Sakura tried to shove his hand off her shoulder, failing, "We met before last night, about a week ago at Oasis. I-I, um, I poured-" "The new girl! Fuck, I knew you looked familiar! There aren't a lot of people walking around with pink hair."

His nonchalant attitude briefly triggered the woman's anger from that day, and she muttered, "Well, I got fired because of you, so if you'll kindly let go. I don't want to see your face for another second."

Sasuke scoffed, his grip tightening rather than releasing as he leered at her with a similar aura as when she'd freshly poured wine on his head, "You think I'm going to let you go after what you did? I told you I'd make you regret it, didn't I?"

"What did you expect? I repeatedly told you to stop, but you kept on! You're so-!" Sakura's statement was cut off when the man's other hand suddenly lifted to wrap around her neck, making the blood drain from her face.

He hissed, "Woman or not, this won't do. Should I teach you a lesson? Not only did you disrespect me, but you did it in front of others."

"Hey, yo, is that you, Sasuke? What's up, man!"

The pair looked toward the alleyway entrance where the restaurant entrance was. It was Hidan, the silver-haired man at the bar that night, too. A gorgeous woman with blueish-purple hair and a tall man with orange hair were beside him.

Without wasting a moment, Sakura took advantage of the distraction and slipped out of Sasuke's grasp, taking off in a sprint and not looking back, even when the man yelled, "Hey, wait!"

She ran until her legs felt like jelly and her lungs were on fire. Thankfully, when she looked around, it was clear they hadn't followed her this far. 'What should I do? He knows where I live!' With no choice, the woman dialed up Ino, panickedly speaking, when the blonde answered, "Can I stay at your place for a few nights?"

"Holy shit! It's packed!" Hidan exclaimed as the group of men entered Rainism, the only respectable club on the east side of Otogakure.

Sasuke was in a foul mood, not bothering to respond as they headed to the bar.

A few guys there appeared to recognize them and vacated the area, leaving just the right amount of space for them to sit and order drinks. The Uchiha man was pissed because his crazy ex-girlfriend, one of many, had slit the tires on his car. Not only that, but the replacements had to be ordered, so he couldn't drive it for a few days.

"It's just a car, Bro. Get yourself some action tonight, and get over it," Akatsuki's resident loudmouth barked.

He bit back, "She's lucky she's with Kimimaru, or I'd kill that bitch."

'If I piss him off, he'll go to his boss and start shit between the families.'

"Yeah, that's fucked up. Tayuya has a new dude but still tries to mess around with you. What a slut," Sasori mused, fingering a strand of his boyfriend's long hair.

"That's rich, coming from you. Didn't you do something similar to Kankuro after you guys broke up? You're even the one who dumped him! Psychopath," Hidan laughed, pinkish-purple eyes surveying the establishment.

Deidara snickered, "That was my idea. Don't give him all the credit, hm."

"Ugh, whatever. Shut up so I can focus."

Sasuke sipped the bitter-tasting whisky in his glass, absently gazing around the large room since there was nothing else to do. He didn't even want to come here tonight, but the other three wouldn't leave him the hell alone until he agreed.

'I'm pretty sure, between Hidan and me, we've fucked every woman in this building. We might've even done a few together,' the man guessed, not feeling as amused as he normally would.

What could he say? Akatsuki members aren't shy about sex. Hell, he couldn't count on his fingers the number of times he'd walked into the kitchen or living room back home to see people shamelessly hooking up for any and all to watch.

"Yo, Sasuke. Look, three o'clock."

Snapped out of his daze, the man looked across the bar to his right to see a group of three women in the dimly lit club: one redhead and two blondes. If his mind served, they weren't in his little black book. His dark eyes trailed over each of them before smirking, "Dibs on the skinny one."

Hidan laughed, "Why her? I'll take the blonde with bigger tits."

As confidently as always, Sasuke lifted his glass and gestured toward the woman in question, "Look at her, Dumbass. It's the shy ones that're the craziest in bed." Though that's true, he added, thinking, 'Not to mention she's fucking sexy. Who gives a damn if she has small tits? Boobs are boobs.'

He was self-aware, so he knew how much of a douchebag he was most of the time. The thing is, he was also attractive and rich enough to get away with it, so why change? Either women like being talked down to and degraded, or they get angry by it, which makes the sex that much better. It's a win-win situation. To this day, he'd never once been rejected, even if they didn't like his personality.

So, Sasuke watched and waited. The redhead was the first to leave the group. When Hidan began making his way over to make a move on the one with bigger tits, another guy got there first, making Sasuke, Deidara, and Sasori laugh.

When the silver-haired man returned, he was pissed, "Laugh it up, shitheads. Let's see you do better."

Never one to turn down a challenge, he rose, "Watch and learn."

When he approached, he took in the curve of her turned back, feeling satisfied when he realized that she made up for what she lacked in bust in other places. "What's a beautiful woman like you doing alone up here?"

The woman turned, only to pause with wide eyes when she saw him. At first, Sasuke smirked knowingly because it was obvious she found him attractive, but then he was the one taken aback. Upon taking a closer look, the girl was even more gorgeous. The deep, emotional twinkle in her green eyes, the way the lights ever-so-slightly reflected off the lipgloss on her plump lips, and even the soft flush of her skin was attractive.

"Waiting for a handsome guy like you to come change that."

'And her voice isn't all high-pitched and nasally like most women try to make it when speaking to guys. Thank fuckin' God.'

Sasuke came closer, barely able to contain his pride, when it was apparent he made her nervous, "Is that so? Allow me to end your suffering. Let's go."

Now, Sasuke's notion that the woman was shy didn't change, but he was still completely taken aback by how naturally she moved with and against him. It made him think it was correct to assume she'd be an interesting lay, which upped his attraction. He said and did his usual thing, and she responded as expected.

After taking a cab to her place, the Uchiha man allowed her to pull him up the steps and into an unbelievably small apartment.

The moment the door was shut behind them, he grabbed her keys, phone, and purse, tossing them onto the counter before pulling her into a deep kiss, to which she responded smoothly. A soft sigh came from the woman when he slid his tongue past her lips.

'That's pretty. I wonder what other sounds she makes.'

The pair slowly made their way to the bed, where he reached around to unzip her dress while she unbuttoned his shirt with unsteady fingers. To his surprise, once she was in her bra and underwear, she slid his shirt off and expertly slid it onto her arms, gasping out between kisses, "You smell amazing."

He hadn't expected her to be so bold, at least not yet.

Chuckling, he picked her up and moved them further onto the bed until her hair fell messily about the pillows. She unbuckled his belt, moving to unbutton and unzip his pants as he tasted the skin of her neck and shoulder, small sounds of appreciation meeting the air that seemed as sweet as honey to Sasuke's ears.

Her body was as nice as he expected, her skin soft to the touch, and whatever shampoo or perfume she used was floral and pleasant. There wasn't anything the man hadn't encountered before. There was still something a little different about her, though. He couldn't put his finger on it and didn't intend to let her sleep tonight until he figured out what it was.

Her abdomen's firm, feminine muscles flexed under his fingers as she pressed up against him, her voice airy and sensual, "Your hands…."

He cooed into her skin, becoming more anxious to continue with each passing moment, "You like my hands, do you?"

She gasped when he pressed against her, between her legs, "They're scary."

Sasuke's eyes opened, and he slowed what he was doing, 'Scary? Why'd she say that right now? …Must be the alcohol.'

Suddenly, he realized she'd stopped responding to his stimulations and pulled back, only for his mouth to open slightly in disbelief, "Are you asleep?" One of her small hands was cupping his against her waist, the other falling from his shoulder to rest against the pillow.

'She is! What the fuck! Who just falls asleep in the middle of hooking up?'

He sat back on his knees, dark eyes taking in the incredibly sensual sight of her lying there in his open shirt, the dark color contrasting beautifully with her milky skin. Glancing down, his brow furrowed as he took in how her legs bent over his hips and how his dick begged to be released from his clothes.

For just a moment, he thought about it but shook his head, sighing defeatedly and climbing off the bed, 'That's a line even I won't cross.'

Turning the lamp atop the nightstand on, he studied the unconscious girl while fixing his pants and buckling his belt.

"...Pink…." She wasn't blonde. The lights in the club had masked the pastel hue of her long hair.

'Now that I'm really looking at her, she seems familiar. Have I met her somewhere before?' Sasuke pondered for a moment before giving up, sitting on the edge of the bed while writing a note on the small pad of paper beside the lamp, glancing at her defenseless face occasionally.

'She must play some kind of sport since she has a lot of scars. I didn't take her for the type.'

Finally, he gave up and summoned a cab. Shutting and locking the apartment door before stepping out, running a stressed hand through his messy hair. The driver gave him an odd look when he climbed, shirtless, into the backseat but didn't mention it.

'I'll use it as an excuse to see her again.'

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Fanning Into Flames Of Healing

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ 1 Peter 3:11 They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it.

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VERSE OF THE DAY

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+ 2 Timothy  1:6 For this reason, I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.

‭‭=========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I WANNA BE USED BY GOD 

I AM ANOINTED

I AM REDEEMED

I AM FREE  

********************************

THOUGHTS:

=======================

   Laying hands on the sick is something a lot of people dont like to talk about because they dont understand it, and they don't get it. Some people find it too odd, and so they speak against it, but I must say to you now, WITH GREAT CAUTION, DO NOT SPEAK ON THE THINGS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT; this is with great caution because a lot of people like to say things on people that can lay hands on someone and heal and they get carried away. 

    Still, you're not speaking against the person. You are speaking against the Holy Spirit as I  was given the gift of laying hands, and when the Holy Spirit allows me to use my gift and heal, I am not surprised because when we have faith, anything is possible. We talked about faith and handerkercifs and stuff like this yesterday, but today we will talk about laying hands; with this topic, it's like yesterday: we must have faith. Without faith, it won't move the Holy Spirit, but as we give ourselves to God and read more of the word, we allow ourselves to have more and more faith. 

   Acts  3:4-6  Peter and John looked at him intently, and Peter said, “Look at us!” 5 The lame man looked at them eagerly, expecting some money. 6 But Peter said, “I don’t have any silver or gold for you. But I’ll give you what I have. In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!”

  In this story, you will see Peter offer this lame man his hand. He says, dont have a lot, I dont have money, but I can give you what I have, which is the ability to walk by faith. Peter spoke the word, and the Holy Spirit touched this man; sometimes, we dont have to lay hands on someone. All we have to do is say the word, but we have to remember that if we do lay hands and speak the word, we are being used by the Holy Spirit, and to be used by the Holy Spirit,  we must live a Holy and righteous life.

    Yes, some people still use the anointing, and they aren't doing that because of God’s grace and mercy. But whatever God gives us, whatever God blesses us with, we must know that it's by his grace that we are being used, and by his mercy, he looks over our ways and uses us to heal a person who is in need. 

  Verse 9-11 All the people saw him walking and heard him praising God. 10 When they realized he was the lame beggar they had seen so often at the Beautiful Gate, they were absolutely astounded! 11 They all rushed out in amazement to Solomon’s Colonnade, where the man was holding tightly to Peter and John.

   Another way to open this gift or activity is to PRAISE GOD . We must always praise God, and a lot of people don't like to praise. They say they don't know what to do or say, but when we praise God, we are rendering our hands and bodies to God so that he can see we appreciate him in every way. 

     I can say that I have had moments in my life where I felt so out of place and so confused, but the moment I lift my hands, and I sing a song ( which I can't sing )  and I let him know how much I love him and how much I appreciate him immediately feel the Holy Spirit presence. I sing my song to him, releasing thanksgiving into the atmosphere. A lot of times, we need to make sure that what we say and what we do creates an atmosphere that invites the Holy Spirit into it.

  Sometimes, when we worship God, our mind is on everything else. Still, I need you to understand that praising God and setting an atmosphere for the Holy Spirit is one of the best starts of the day or evening because we invite the Holy Spirit in with us. When we set the atmosphere we are inviting encounters with the Holy Spirit and even angelic activity.

  2 Timothy  4:2 preach the word; be ready in and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.

  We also have to be ready, be ready to pray, be ready to testify, and be ready to share the good news of God. No one shouldn't need a moment to do anything when it comes to the work of the Holy Spirit . We must be ready to share how good God is to our lives and be ready to lay hands according to what the Holy Spirit tells us to; now, we can't lay hands on everyone, but that's something we will talk about one day soon, but today I'm just going to say pray before you lay hands. Still, if the Holy Spirit doesn't stop you the moment you start, pray.

Some people are caught off guard when it’s time to pray, or they will say, " I'm not ready to pray, or I’m not ready to lay hands on the sick ,but we must be ready to heal the sick, feed the needy, and help someone that could be lost. The Bible says, “Preach the word; be prepared in and out of season; correct, rebuke, and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.”

   ***Today, we learned that we must be ready to work with the sick. It’s always lovely to hear that people pray for one another during a revival or church event. Still, we must understand before we lay hands on anyone, ask the Holy Spirit is this what you want me to do, because a lot of times, some people we aren’t meant to touch because that’s not what was in his will, but when the lord is using you to pray and heal the sick stay in holiness, stay living a pure lifestyle. We must always be ready to allow the Holy Spirit to use us because what we have isn’t ours. It’s the lord, and we must be good stewards of the gifts he has given us. Today, if you want to be used by the holy spirit, ask him to show you, and he will

©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father, we thank you for everything. We'd like to ask you to use us as you see fit. Father, we surrender our life to you. Lord, we want to serve you for the rest of our life. Lord, please let us know if we are doing anything you don’t like. We want to change, lord; make us pure and holy for you. Lord, we bind any spirit trying to hinder us; we bind any spirit trying to attach itself to us; lord, we ask right now that you help us with all our struggles; Father, we know in our weakness you are strong, and we ask you for your strength to lead and guide us in Jesus' Name, Amen. 

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REFERENCES

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+ 1 Thessalonians 5:19. Do not quench the Spirit

+ 2 Timothy 4:2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.

+Acts 19:6 And when Paul had laid his hands on them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they began speaking in tongues and prophesying.

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FURTHER READINGS

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PROVERBS 15

MATTHEW 25

1 PETER 4

PSALM 8

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[fallinghorizontally]

perspective

Sometimes I feel like I am moving throughout my days just watching my body move on its own. I feel like my spirit does that to force a change in perspective but I am still blind. I wish I could see things for what they truly are and not through lenses of my bias and trauma. I would like to know where I am wrong. So many opposing beliefs of the idea that we are perfect just the way we are but at the same time there's the idea of finding oneself and healing. I wonder if both can be true at the same time. If I was so perfect, I wouldn't always feel so shitty.

I wish that I didn't need to feel emotions and I wish that my emotions didn't pour out of me so freely. When I need reassurance I make sure that its known but when it comes to women its like an ick apparently. I feel like one certain friendship that I have is so one sided and I am starting to see it clearly. I am always very understanding and cater to her personal needs but when I have needs it always seems to cause a lot of tension and I feel that I am being used for my good energy and liberating personality. I wish I could stay true to myself but I fold when there's sex involved. ( me and her fuck) but im not in it just for the sex I genuinely think she's a great person and fun to be around but ultimately I feel that I am only a fun distraction and anybody could fill my shoes. I also feel that there's a truth I needed to find in my sexuality, however, and I might've found it last night.

I was at a club and a pretty trans woman came up to me and danced with me. We talked all night and she came home with me. It was my first time touching another dick. I know that she's a woman but another dick is another dick. And I couldn't help but feel nothing after. I used to question my sexuality but yesterday confirmed two things for me. 1. That I am indeed straight and that dick does nothing for me. 2. that I need to stop sexualizing women. I learned that I only think with my dick and I fold so easily. I need to save my energy and preserve myself. I can't just be fucking anybody or letting myself be taken advantage of for my energy. Im the type of person that people open up to immediately because they feel safe and every other reason ppl do it. Maybe because they feel comfortable and like Im empathetic and fun. I don't know but I wanna save that for people who love me as hard as I love them and I wanna put myself first from now on. I want to become disciplined. I want to love myself more. fuck that fomo shit

[mypoisonedvine]

Consolation || Bucky Barnes x reader

summary: you know it’s probably not great that you always turn to your best friend Bucky whenever you’re especially hurt by your husband.  you know your husband should probably care that you spend so much time with him, but he doesn’t.  which is good, in the end, because you two really are just friends… until you’re not.

word count: 4k

warnings: smut!, infidelity (see summary, reader is married), descriptions of failing/sexless marriage, angst, fluff, ~feelings~

You were good at hiding it— the real reason why you showed up at Bucky's apartment unexpectedly, that is.  

It wasn’t entirely unexpected: you sent a text first, asking if he was down for a movie night, telling him you missed when you used to hang out more.  He did, too, but he had always been afraid your husband would be an issue.  Nice enough guy, but he didn’t seem to trust Bucky entirely… certainly didn’t seem to love that you two were so close.

And who could blame him?  A beautiful, sweet, smart girl like you… he understood why your husband didn’t want you hanging out with other guys when avoidable.  I’ve told him a thousand times, you’re just a friend— you’re just Bucky, you would tell him when you were recounting arguments, explaining why it had been a while since you two had had a chance to catch up.  But Bucky never told you that your husband was right to worry, that he had dreamed since he met you of being more than ‘just a friend,’ that he himself was the reason you two didn’t spend more time together: because he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from confessing his feelings.

Because of course he would never make a move on his best friend— on a married woman.  It would be so overwhelmingly inappropriate, such a colossal waste of time; and it wasn’t like he couldn’t handle just being your friend.  Sure, it killed him a little bit sometimes, but it was worth it a million times over to be near you at all.  He would take what he could get… and if that meant platonic movie night because you’d had another argument with your husband, then so be it.

“I stopped by the store on my way; heard your ice cream reserve was depleted,” you explained as you brandished the Ben & Jerry’s before slipping past him to put them in his freezer.  

He watched you walk there, silently hating how comfortable you were in his apartment.  He loved it, but he hated it, too.  

“What are we watching?” you asked, snapping him back to reality.

“Uh, I dunno…”

“You were supposed to pick while I was driving over, genius,” you grumbled sarcastically.

“I narrowed it down to The Ring or You’ve Got Mail,” he decided suddenly.

You chuckled lightly and the sound lifted his spirits. “Okay, so, two drastically different evenings."

“I mean, if you think about it, they’re both about meeting new people through technology,” he corrected.

“Do VHS tapes count as technology?” you raised an eyebrow incredulously.

“They do to me,” he shrugged.

//

With the ice cream supply exhausted and Bucky’s largest plastic bowl now containing only the unpopped kernels and little broken pieces of popcorn that didn’t make the cut, the third act of The Ring was beginning and you were spending more time covering your eyes than not.

“Let me know when the scary part is over,” you requested weakly from between the hands on your face.

“It’s a horror movie; the whole thing is one long scary part!” he laughed.

You peeked out through your fingers only to see another terrifying moment, yelping and hiding yourself in his chest.

He froze, not sure at all what to do with your face pressed against him; he held his breath in case the inflation of his chest would disturb you.  

“I can’t look!” you whimpered, voice muffled by his shirt.

He lifted his hand in consideration of stroking your hair comfortingly, but ultimately decided against it and set it back down.

Thankfully, the movie was almost over and you wouldn’t stay cuddled up to him after it ended— meaning he’d finally be free from the glorious torture of your nearness.

But then the credits were rolling and you still didn’t budge, holding him tight.  At first he thought you were just still scared, but then you took a slow, shaky breath… and he realized something was wrong with you, way beyond just a spooky movie.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, preparing to hear you explain what really happened with you and your husband that made you come here.

You just shook your head a little against his chest, making him sigh.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he continued, and you hesitated before pulling back and sitting up straight again.  As painful as it had been, he missed your touch already.

“Yes,” you answered, “but I shouldn’t.”

“Okay,” he nodded.

“But I need to.”

“Okay.”

“But I can’t.”

“...okay…”

You groaned and hid your face in your hands— not from fear this time, but exasperation.  “I told myself that if it ever got to this point, I’d tell someone.  But now I… I don’t know.”

“It’s okay,” he soothed.

"He doesn't… we don't…” you started and stopped a few times.  “God, Buck, I can't even say it…"

"You don't have to—" he began to tell you, but you said it anyway, tearing your hands away from your face and looking back at him sternly.

"He hasn't touched me in months.  And today marks an entire year since the last time I had sex."

He tried not to choke when he heard that.  He figured you were just going to say that he was texting a female coworker too much or flip-flopping about if he wanted kids or not.  This was something else entirely.  "Oh… um, wow."

“Yeah.”

He wasn’t sure where to start.  In spite of all his obliviousness, he was pretty sure he should say something, he just didn’t know what.  “And he… he knows that you… want that?  I mean, you’ve like… tried to, you know… initiate things, right?”  He cringed at his own voice, and stupid question.

You laughed a little, in a sad way.  "I've begged him for it, fuck, it's so humiliating.  It doesn't even work.  He's always too tired, not in the mood, busy with something.  And of course I want to respect him and not pressure him into anything but at the same time, I feel so fucking unlovable— so hideous."

"You're not hideous,” he said firmly, more sure of that than anything else he’d said so far.

“I try to believe that, really,” you mitigated, “I try not to take it personally— but fuck, it feels personal.  Do you know how often people talk about sex?  It’s like society has this idea that men just wanna bang twenty-four hours a day and the only thing stopping them is women being prudes.  Do you know what it’s like to hear people talk like that when your husband rejects you every night?  Do you know how it feels to hear your girlfriends complaining about how their boyfriends are pestering them for sex too often, and you’re just sitting there screaming inside your head ‘at least he wants you’?  Bucky, you can’t even imagine…”

“I can’t,” he agreed.  

"It's been so long…” you sighed shakily, collecting yourself before you started again.  “It's been so long since somebody touched me.  I wondered if I would forget what it felt like."

His hand shook a little as he reached out with his flesh hand and brushed it against your arm, staring into your watery eyes and finding less fear there than he expected, thankfully.

"Did you forget?" he asked softly.

"I must have," you mumbled, "it feels better than I remembered."

The heartbreak in your voice made anger bubble up in his chest, amazed at how your husband ever allowed this to happen; ever allowed you to become so touch-starved that even just a brush on your arm made you emotional.  "I can't imagine being with you every day and not wanting to touch you whenever I could get the chance,” he admitted.  “I can't imagine being your husband and not making love to you every day, every hour, whenever you wanted; whenever you'd let me.  I can't imagine having you beg me for something and not giving it to you— I'd give you everything."

He had to fight a gasp as you suddenly grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss, a bit sudden at first but melting into something gentle and patient and soft.  

“Then do it,” you whispered as you finally pulled back; he could barely think straight to even process what you were saying.  “Give me everything.”

He nodded a little before he kissed you again, rough but deep and slow.  His hands roamed your body like he'd wished to for so long; his tongue slid against yours and the taste of you drove him wild.

As hard as it was to break from your lips, he moved his kisses down your jaw to your neck, sucking at your pulse as you groaned and clutched at his shoulders through his shirt.

"Fuck," you whispered under your breath, and he must've heard you swear a million times but this time it sounded so different.  

His cock was straining against his jeans already, just from this— it was like he was a fucking teenager again, but to be fair, you'd always had that effect on him: sweaty palms, stammering, sudden boners.  It was like lifelong puberty with you around.

When his fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt, just barely brushing over the skin right above your sweats, you pulled back briefly to pull your shirt off over your head.  He thought it might be awkward if he just stood there gawking at your chest, so he only allowed himself a moment of it before he got back to work holding you tight and kissing your collarbones.

He pulled you closer and you must've felt his cock pressed against you because you gasped a little.  And you must've liked it, because your hand slipped down and rubbed him through the front of his jeans, making him choke on nothing.

“S’big,” you mumbled, and he grinned a little.  

“Feel what you do to me?” he asked softly, and you nodded a little before grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand down your body and into the waistband of your pants.  He shuddered when he felt how warm your skin was, the lacy fabric of your panties, the slick folds you guided his fingers through.

“Feel what you do to me?” you shot back, but your cockiness faded when he circled his middle finger over your swollen bud.  He loved the way your body reacted so easily, subtle little gasps and shivers, your hips jolting forward for more stimulation.  You both moaned when he pushed a finger into your channel, your walls already pulsing around him.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

You whispered your approval and he twisted the finger inside you.  Even just that made you let out a heavy breath, your hands reaching down to grip his wrist— they didn’t push him away, thankfully, just reminded him to be gentle with you as he added the second finger, pushing a bit deeper than before.

“More,” you whimpered your plea, “I want more.”

For a second he thought you meant more fingers, but then you opened your eyes and gave him a look… that look.  

It made it abundantly clear that fingers weren’t going to be enough.  After all, you had asked him to give you everything.  So he gladly obliged when you started to tug at his shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it aside.  You lifted your hips to let him pull down your sweats, not giving him much time to drink in the sight of you before you started opening his fly for him.

Being undressed by you made his heart race; the way you rushed, like you couldn’t wait a moment longer to have him, was flattering yet relatable.

You sighed when you got his cock out, instantly wrapping your hand around his shaft and stroking.  He shuddered at the softness of your hands, at your gentle but persistent exploration.  Clearly it had been a while since you’d gotten the chance to interact with a dick, but it didn’t show in any lack of skill— if anything it just made you more eager, your grip firm but your touches gentle.  He kissed you again, holding your face in one hand and leaning you back with the other until you were laid on the couch and he was hovering over you.

He guided your hand away from his cock, replacing it with his own as he guided the weeping head over your slick folds, smiling at your gasp when he bumped against your clit.

“Do you want this?” he asked, fully prepared for you to back out now before you did something you really couldn’t take back.

“Yes.”  Your answer was more confident than he was expecting, but he still couldn’t really believe it.  It was just too good to be true.  So he had to check again.

“...are you sure?”

"Don't make me beg, Bucky," you whimpered, "I've done it enough, I can't do it again.  Just make love to me— I need you inside me, please…"

Your head fell back as he pushed into you, your nails digging into his shoulders until he stopped from fear of hurting you (even though it took more willpower than he knew he had).

"Don't stop," you whined, "need to feel all of you, Bucky, please please don't stop—"

He definitely didn't have enough willpower to resist that.  Slamming into you all at once, he hissed as you cried out, baring his teeth at the sight of you quivering and moaning beneath him.

"I— I need a second," you explained, voice tight with ill-concealed pain, "it's been a while.”

"I can wait," he nodded, "I won't move until you're ready."

He could tell you were struggling, because how could you not be when you felt so fucking tight around him?  He guided you to breathe slowly with him, feeling your body relax slightly and noticing the way your face untwisted as you became more comfortable.

You nodded a little, but he needed to hear you say it.  "Fuck me," you whispered.

And he did.  

He still kept his pace measured and relaxed, savoring every inch of you— savoring your reactions to every inch of him.

But watching your face was going to push him towards the edge too fast, and he wanted to make this last if possible, so he leaned down to suck on your neck, thoroughly tasting your skin as you moaned and writhed beneath him.  It felt incredible to surround your body with his, to cage you in and pin you down with his weight— it made him feel like he could protect you, keep you safe, even though he knew he couldn’t save you from heartache as much as he wanted to.

If you wanted someone to touch you, to give you affection, to make love to you and make you feel loved, then you’d come to the right place.  That came to him naturally; the hard part was going to be letting you go, letting this be the one-time favor for a friend that he already knew it was.

“You feel so good,” he found himself whispering against your skin, just beside your ear, “so good for me.”

The praise must have had a strong effect on you, because your walls tightened around him suddenly.

“So perfect,” he continued, wanting to feel it again, “my perfect girl.”  And you weren’t his girl, but maybe he could pretend you were; you certainly seemed to enjoy pretending, with the way your moans egged him on.  “God, baby, your pussy feels so fucking good around my cock.”

“Bucky,” you whined, arching your back, and he grinned because it was obvious that you responded even better to dirty talk than praise.

“You like that, huh?  You like makin’ me feel good?” he pressed, laughing a little when you nodded feverishly.  “Fuck, such a good girl… takin’ me so good, so fuckin’ deep…”

You grabbed him by his hair to make him kiss you again, hungry lips smashing against his.

Inspired by your passion but afraid of what he’d do with all of this control, he wrapped his arms around you and hoisted you up until he was sitting while you straddled him, looking up at you with a grin.  "Ride me, pretty girl, show me how bad you want it," he instructed lowly.  The way you rocked your hips and threw your head back was everything he'd dreamed it would be, increased exponentially.  Of course, he'd never told anyone that he dreamed about that, but he'd also never thought it could ever come true.  He ran his hands over every part of you he could reach, just to make sure it was real; just to make sure he memorized the feel of you while he could.

He leaned forward and wrapped his lips around a hardened nipple, sucking gently and smirking a little when you moaned loudly.  “You’re sensitive here,” he noted aloud, kissing his way to the other nipple but still teasing the first with his metal fingers.

Your moans came faster and louder, your fingers combing through his hair and pulling seemingly unintentionally.  He noticed that you let your eyes fall shut, your head crane back, and although he was glad that it was a sign of pleasure, he wanted to see you; he wanted you to see him, know that it was him making you feel this way.  so, he reached up and cupped your face in his hand, cradling your cheek, pulling you closer to look at him, staring into your eyes— and he knew it wasn't a subtle move, wasn't believable as a guy just helping out a friend, but he didn't care anymore.  When he kissed you again, it almost felt like you meant it, too; like you wanted him first, and not just as a consolation prize.

But you pulled back a little too soon, a reminder to both of you that this couldn’t be anything more than what it was.

Your hips gyrated faster and more vigorously, his hands gripping you tight and guiding your movements while you sighed and bit your lip.  You looked so indescribably good when you were immersed in pleasure like this, your hands gripping his shoulders tightly for balance, your chest swelling and deflating with quick breaths.

“So fucking beautiful,” he whispered below his breath as his hand softly trailed from your collarbone down to your thigh.  The sounds you made were constantly changing, a little more high-pitched and needy now as you rode him faster.  He was already picking up on the little signs that you were getting closer: your thighs flexing where they were straddled beside his own, how your body jolted and shivered in his grasp, your eyes wrenched shut and your skin breaking out into goosebumps.

Already he knew your body so well, but he knew there was so much more he would never get the chance to discover.  For now, he’d just have to settle for a preview of all the perfect little ways you fell apart.

And, in the interest of speeding that process up a bit, he reached down to where your bodies were joined and circled a thumb over your clit.

“Fuck!” you yelped, your inner muscles bearing down on him out of nowhere until he was forced to groan from your tightness.

“You close?” he stammered out, way less confident than he meant it to be.  He should’ve said something cool like ‘I know you’re close’ or ‘aw, baby, does that feel good?’ but no, he was too far gone and gave his own desperation away.

"Yes, baby, I'm so close," you sighed, "I'm gonna come— you're gonna make me come."

You said it with a hint of shock in your voice, like you could barely believe it.  He couldn't believe it, either, because it was surely too good to be true.

"Come for me," he instructed firmly, pulling you closer until his nose brushed against yours, "say my name when I make you come."

It was unfair, but he needed to pretend you were his for just a moment.  Only his.

"Bucky," you whimpered shakily.  Your walls tightened around him so perfectly, over and over, until it took everything in him not to bust right then.  "Bucky, I'm coming, fuck, I'm coming—"

"I know," he whispered, "I know, pretty girl, keep going."

Your nails dug into his skin, but he couldn’t even notice the pain when he was watching your face as you came— it was tight and twisted at first, before falling into a gasp and a moan that made his heart swell along with his cock that painted your walls the absolute second he knew you’d come.  It was intense, not just from holding back for so long, but from knowing he was coming inside you.

He sighed and started to catch his breath as you slumped forward and buried your face in the crook of his neck.  His arms wrapped around you and pulled you closer, the warmth of your body nearly overwhelming now as he felt little aftershocks ripple through your channel around where he was still within you.

"Thank you," you whispered, so quiet he could barely hear it.  But he did, and he nodded a little as he rested his face against yours, stroking your hair gently.  You held each other in silence for a long time, so long that when your breathing slowed down significantly and he could feel your body relax entirely, he realized you had fallen asleep.  

Carefully, he held you tighter so he could stand up and carry you to his bedroom, your body instinctively wrapping around him like a koala… like even in your sleep, you could act all adorable and break his heart just that much more.  

He did his best to tread quietly and gently, laying you down onto the bed and only then pulling his softened cock out of you, finding his discarded boxers to put back on before joining you between the sheets.  

He knew you would be gone in the morning but he indulged himself in holding you tonight, breathing your scent and pressing your back against his chest.  He didn't want to fall asleep because he didn't want to miss a second of your body wrapped in his, but it was impossible not to with the soft pace of your breathing almost rocking him to sleep like a beautiful lullaby.

Where there was warmth and peace before, he awoke to cold and emptiness— both between his sheets and in himself.

It’s not like he really expected you to stay, and even if you had it wouldn’t mean that you would leave your husband for your best friend, that this would have ever been anything more than a glimpse of what could’ve been in another life or another universe.

He could still smell you, barely, and he buried his face in the sheets to take it all in before it faded away.  When it was gone, he pulled back only to find a wet patch of his tears there instead.

[bruhstories]

switch

summary: you and yuji have been together for three years now, but on your anniversary night, you allow your own demons to come to the surface. pairing: ryomen sukuna x female!reader (itadori yuji x female!reader, too, i guess?) | aged up characters word count: 3.5k warning & content: cheating?? (is it cheating if it's technically the same body?), unprotected sex, creampie, slight dacryphillia, vaginal fingering, blackmail, reader is kind of an asshole? (can you blame her tho, sukuna is such a daddy ugh), bit of overstimulation, slight dumbification (if you squint)

a/n: i'm back, and i can tell my writing skill is getting rusty. i took a break and it's obvious with this fic, but i need to get my head back in the game. it is what it is.

Yuji was a great boyfriend. In all honesty, he was every woman and man's dream — funny, charming, attentive and, most importantly, caring. He cared about you so much that he always made sure to control his own personal demon. You knew about Sukuna, Yuji told you after a few dates, and you were well versed in Jujutsu Sorcery, enough to know that he was not someone you could mess with. But you didn't want to give up on Yuji, and stuck with him through thick and thin. After almost three years of the beautiful and fun relationship you two had, he asked you to move in with him since you were both adults now, and you gladly accepted, because after so much time, you came to love him, despite seeing Sukuna's outbursts during fights. That thing, that monster, was beyond terrifying, but you trusted Yuji with all your heart, and that was all that mattered.

Or maybe you were unhinged, maybe you wanted Sukuna to come to the surface. Maybe, deep down in your heart, you fell in love with the switch, with the raging, brutal frenzies that you happened to witness on the rare occasions when Yuji couldn’t control the King of Curses. Maybe you weren’t meant to be a Jujutsu Sorcerer, because, as opposed to your optimistic and good-natured boyfriend, you never hesitate to kill – human or curse. Sometimes it felt as if your curiosity surpassed your love for Yuji, and that was a horrendous thought. Surely, that can’t be the real you, right?

Today is your three-year anniversary, and naturally, you want to surprise your boyfriend, so when you come home from a mission, you stop by his favourite ramen restaurant, picking up something to eat, maybe even some dessert. You tiptoe inside when you notice Yuji napping on the couch, and after silently setting up the table, careful not to wake him up, you quickly change into something... nicer. Yuji doesn't really enjoy it when you show some skin, which sucks because you want him to show you off. Nevertheless, you respect him, but tonight is special, surely it wouldn't hurt if you wear a shorter skirt. And a low-cut blouse. And heels. Fuck it, you think, adding a pair of thigh high socks as well, maybe that would rile him up. As much as you loved him, Yuji was too gentle. You liked that about him, truly, but sometimes you just need him to give you a good fuck, which was impossible, no matter how much you begged him to do it. You watch your reflection in the mirror from head to toe, proud of your skimpy outfit, but you can't help but wonder if he might be upset at your choice of attire. Even if he prefers it when you're dressed in pastels, that's not you, the real you. "You look good enough to eat." Yuji's voice breaks your trance and you turn on your heels to look at him. He stands in the doorway of the bedroom, arms folded across his chest, but there's a strange aura around him, and you can't exactly see his face through the dim lights. "You like it?" Your ears perk up, happy that he's not bothered by the clothes. "I do. You should dress like that more often." He sneers, stepping closer to you. "Alright, what kind of prank are you pulling now, Yuji? You never liked these kinds of clothes." You lower your head, your luscious lips turning into a pout. His calloused fingertips grip your chin, turning your head to face the mirror, and that's when you see the black markings on his face. Fear paralyses your entire body, eyes widening in panic and anxiety. "He might not like them, but I do." His voice is lower than Yuji's, calm yet obscenely dangerous. "I- you-" The words get caught in your throat, and you can't take your eyes off of his reflection. You know for a fact there's absolutely nothing you can do to defend yourself from Sukuna without hurting Yuji, and that thought makes you feel incredibly small and downright pathetic. "Little lamb, do you have any idea how hard it's been for me to watch this ungrateful brat take you for granted?" His hand is still leaving imprints on your chin and cheek, the other travelling down your back. "To watch you lose yourself for him, of all people?" "You don't know me!" Lips open without a thought, and you regret every syllable that came out of your mouth. "Oh, but I do." Yuji, no, Sukuna sneers, that same hand that was once on your back is now on your abdomen, painstakingly slowly creeping under your blouse. "Everything he sees, I see. Everything he smells, I smell. What he hears, I hear. But I just couldn't touch what's mine. Until now." You feel him pinching your nipple, and you're ashamed to admit how good his skin feels against yours, his hot breath fanning over your nape. "'M not yours." You grit your teeth, manicured fingernails digging into the plush of your thighs to keep your composure. "There's one thing I can smell that he can't. Wanna know what that is, sweet dove?" He whispers in your ear, and it's dotting your skin with goosebumps. "Enlighten me." "Your arousal." "You're bluffing." Is all you manage to say before Sukuna spins you around, pinning you against the mirror. "Let's see, shall we? I bet you're dripping," he shoves one of your legs to the side with his knee, and you don't stop him, "I bet you you've fantasised about this, late at night, when this brat can't please you. He's well endowed, though, it's a shame he can't use his dick." "S-stop it, please. I love him." "Pardon me if I doubt that." "Please, sir..." Sir? How should you call him? Demon? Cursed spirit? Monster? "How about master?" Sukuna barks back, as if reading your mind sarcasm dripping

down his tongue. You can't stifle a moan when his teeth sink in the crook of your neck, and you know damn well that you want this, and that every word he uttered so far was correct. You have thought about Yuji switching with Sukuna, wondered how he would fuck you, make you chant his name, but you never told your boyfriend, you couldn't. It's sinful, disgraceful and disgusting. Instinctively, you grind up his thigh, tears of shame and lust pooling at your eyes when you slowly give in to the temptation. He's already bruised your skin, one hand toying with your tits, the other lifting your skirt up. It's too late to fight him, because you never wanted to fight him in the first place. You deepest, darkest wish is finally coming to life. "That's better." Sukuna licks his lips, and your half-lidded, glossy eyes land on his tongue. "Please, m-may I kiss you?" Eyes dart away, cheeks burning with desire and embarrassment. "How polite of you to ask." He coos at you mockingly, his face inching closer to yours before absolutely crushing your lips under his. You don't hesitate to partly open your mouth, allowing his tongue to slip between your lips. Fuck, he kisses you so good that your knees give in, and all you can think is that if he's such a good kisser, he's definitely going to fuck you dumb. And you want that more than anything. When he pulls away, you lick your lips, still tasting him on your tongue, and he tastes so much better than Yuji — sweet and addictive. "I really wanted to take my time with you, after all, I waited three long years for this. But you're such an eager little slut, aren't you?" "I'm n-not a slut-" You try to protest, but you can't fool him, especially not when he's pushing your panties to the side, fingers grazing over your slit. "You are a slut. You merely buried that side of you for a pathetic little boy who can't handle a real woman." Sukuna's index finger gently brushes against your clit, enough to have you weak and needy. "Don't worry, Y/N, you don't have to hide from me. You can show me what you really want." It hurts to know that Yuji probably sees and hears everything, that he will probably break up with you after this, but you're too far gone to care about his feelings when finally someone is paying attention to yours. Your hand travels up his thigh, palming his already hard cock, and the way he groans, throwing his head back is satisfying enough for you. It hurts to think that Yuji never appreciates this side of you, and it's more painful when you consider this to be cheating — it's still his body, technically, but it's not your loving boyfriend, and you're perfectly fine with that. He slips a finger between your folds, a quiet moan escaping your lips, and Sukuna knows you won't dare say no to him, or try to reason with him. He adds another finger, but he absolutely does not move them an inch, instead you automatically fuck yourself on his hand, gripping one of his shoulders for support. "That's a good whore." Sukuna praises you, tongue lapping at your collarbone, making you delirious with lust. "You want my cock? Want me to fuck your aching cunt?" It's impossible to refuse his proposition, instead you buck your hips, your fingers gripping his t-shirt and you know you might tear it if you keep this up. "Yes..." You answer him, voice soft and quiet. "Yes what?" "P-please... Yes, please!" "Much better. Get on the bed." Sukuna commands and you obey, skirt dangerously hiked up. You proceed to take it off, but he slaps your hands away, too impatient for such formalities. He did wait a long time for this, you understand that, and so you lay on your back, blouse unbuttoned, panties on the floor and legs wide open for him to take you. Oh, and he adores this sight, how you willingly give yourself to him, your dainty fingers spreading your juices around your cunt, eager to be filled. In those three years of being with Yuji, you got used to his cock, but seeing it now seems like it's the first time. Precum leaks from the blushing tip and your mouth begins to water just by looking at him, and

this pleases Sukuna greatly. "Tell me what you want." He climbs on top of you, hands resting next to you as your fingernails graze over his chest. "I don't wanna say it..." You avert your gaze, a crumb of dignity left in you because you know Yuji hears everything. "Oh, you don't?" He quirks a brow, brown irises bearing a hint of red. "Then you won't mind me killing the brat." This garners your attention, and you feel stupid because of course he would blackmail you. Do you care? No. Do you want Yuji to think you care? Yes. "Please don't hurt him." You look back at Sukuna, tears pricking your eyes. "Why shouldn't I? We both know he doesn't deserve you." "You're wrong, I love-" "This isn't about you loving him, it's about you renouncing your true nature." His hand finds its way on your neck, fingers wrapping around it. "How many times have you begged him to choke you and he refused? How many times did you ask him to fuck you harder and he said no? You're a filthy slut, Y/N, and it's time you got what you deserve." The lack of air has your pussy clenching around nothing, and you hate him so much for being right. Yuji could never give you what you want, but Sukuna can, and it's an opportunity you can't pass. "Now, I'll say this one last time — tell me what you want." He releases the grip on your neck. "Y-you! I want you to fuck me, please, fuck me good, make me yours!" The tears that roll down your cheeks ruin your makeup, mascara mixed with eyeshadow smeared under your eyes. The tip of his cock pushes past your folds, and inch by inch he bottoms out. It feels bigger than before, stretching you open in a beautiful blend of pain and pleasure, your lips forming an O as your eyes roll back. "He doesn't deserve your tears. But I do. Cry for me." Sukuna sneers, his broad frame hovering above you and you feel so small and vulnerable. Yet again you obey, allowing more salty droplets to run down your face as you wrap your legs around his waist, feeling him go deeper. "Fuck, 's big! Oh, god-" Sukuna's palm meets your cheek, a sharp, stinging pain bringing your eyes on him. "Focus, whore. Not god, not the brat, me." He grunts, hips rocking back and forth harder and faster. "Who do you belong to?" You don't want to say it, what would Yuji think of you? He's probably already disgusted, contemplating breaking up with you once he regains control of his body. Another slap pulls you out of your thoughts and you buck your hips against his. "Answer me." "I b-belong to you! You!" "That's right, you're mine. Don't worry your pretty head, little lamb, Yuji won't be coming back any time soon." He grunts with every thrust, and his reassurance is somewhat comforting, because, god, he fucks you so good, you would kill for another opportunity like this. His teeth sink into your shoulder, fingers bruising your skin and you're delighted that he's marking you. All that matters is that you're his, chanting his name over and over again, praying to your new god, and Sukuna is beyond pleased with his work of art. When he pulls out of you, you almost cry, because it feels like a part of you is missing, but he's a merciful god, he won't let his newly devoted subject famished. Flipping you over as if you're made of feathers, he thrusts back into your aching cunt, and you yelp at the feeling of being overpowered by him. Sukuna's stamina is off the charts, because while your legs begin to feel numb, he's fucking into you with such force and intensity that the damn bed slides on the floor. It's raw, the way he's defiling your cunt, and it's sending your brain into overdrive. Your spongy walls clench around his cock, and while he doesn't say anything, the simple fact that he's going deeper and harder makes you feel special. Squirming and thrashing under him, you're desperate for some form of validation, and so you lift your ass up, pushing it back against his hips with a delightful moan escaping your lips. Sukuna takes notice of your sudden change of posture, and the way you curve your spine to try and get a look at him is adorable. "You want something,

pet?" He barely spares you a glance, and his indifference makes your pussy flutter. Your incoherent sentence almost makes him laugh, words such as good and please distinguishable between the other stutters. "Use your fucking words." A slap over your firm ass makes you yelp and jolt up. "A-am I good enough f-for you?" The question takes him by surprise, but he doesn't stop to think. Instead, he digs his sharp talons into the plush of your hips, overjoyed by your eagerness to please him. "You could do better." Sukuna teases you, but you take it personally, sadness and determination coiling inside of your heart. By this point, you don't even remember your boyfriend's name, too high on pleasure to even care. "'M sorry! P-please, I wanna be good!" You throw your head back and he wraps an arm around your neck, pressing his chest against your back. "If you wanna make me happy, you best forget about Itadori." "W-who?" "Your– never mind." Sharp canines flashed in his smirk, Sukuna tilts your head enough for you to catch a glimpse of his eyes. They're dark and vicious, and any sane person would be repulsed by them, but not you. No, you drown in them, completely absorbed by the hatred hiding behind them. The more you stare into his orbs, the closer you are to your climax. And he knows it. "Fuck fuck fuck!" "That's right, little lamb, let go of all that is moral and human." "Don't stop- oh, god, please don't s-stop!" In your frenzy, in his frantic pace, Sukuna's close, too. It would have taken any other woman hours to please him due to his insatiable nature, but you — your cunt clenching around his cock for dear life milks him dry, and inch by inch he pulls out, watching the hot liquid dripping down your trembling thighs. Art, he thinks, this is what art is — your face buried in the pillows, ass up, and his seed spilling out of your sore cunt. You come down from your haze, slowly but surely, and the realisation of what just happened begins to hit you. You want to regret everything, to feel a shred of shame, but there isn't any left. After this night, Sukuna irrevocably owns you, and you wouldn't have it any other way. He lays on the bed, lazily watching you stumble in the bathroom to clean yourself up, but with his guard up in case you want to try anything stupid. Yet when you don't come back, Sukuna wonders if you ran away out the window, which makes him laugh to himself because he could find you anywhere if he wanted to. So, he drags his feet across the room, finding you on the edge of the bathtub, watching the water pool inside with a blank stare. When you feel his presence, you get up and tug at the hem of his shirt. The man flinches, until he remembers that you are harmless and exhausted, and you don't look like you even want to put up a fight, so he allows you to take his shirt off. "Is this for me?" He points at the tub, brow quirked and a mischievous smile on his lips. "Yes." "Are you gonna clean me up?" "Yes." You sigh, wondering if you truly ever loved Yuji, wondering why you didn't even try to fight for him. "Do you want your boyfriend back?" Oh, how you dreaded this question. You cringe at the words, and don't reply. Silence is also an answer, but he's cruel. "I need to hear it." "He will also hear it." Of course he will, that's the whole point of humiliation. Sukuna steps in the tub, dipping himself in the hot water, a hand extended towards you. "Join me." You hesitate to take his hand, lips pursed and eyes narrowed at the man who looks so serene that it amazes you how brutal he was before. "I won't ask again." Complying, and not wanting to anger him, you don't waste another moment to get in the tub, back against his chest. "Can I ask you a question?" "You just did, sweet dove." "Fine, I’ll shut up." "Now, now, don't give me that attitude, or else I'll have to put you in your place. And you won't like it." His nails are pressed onto your jugular, and you know those things can cut, your hips are still bleeding. "Ask away." He lets his hands fall on your shoulders and you exhale the breath that was caught in your

throat. "Why didn't you kill me? Why don't you kill me?" "I need a pet." "Oh." Your disappointment makes Sukuna burst into laughter. What did you expect? A confession of love? "Oh?" He mocks you, tracing circles on your skin with his talons. "Don't worry, I take good care of my pets. Especially if they're loyal and obedient." His hands travel down your body, one pulling your knee to the side, the other moving up your thigh. "You are loyal and obedient, yes?" "Please, no more-" The rest of the sentence dies before you can utter it when his fingers ghost over your swollen clit. "Answer me, Y/N." "I can't come again!" "You can, and you will, because I want you to. Now answer the fucking question." Sukuna toys with you, only pushing his index finger one knuckle deep between your folds before pulling it out, and somehow you can't feel the sharpness of his nails. "Will you serve and obey me, not once questioning my authority?" He pushes the finger back in, curling it upwards and you don't fail to clench your walls once more. "Oh, f-fuck, I will, I will! But please, I can't–" When he rubs your clit, you are done for. You didn't think you could reach another climax, but those circles he's rubbing with enough pressure to both give you pleasure and pain have you melting in his arms. "Swear it, then. Make a pact with me. I can give you anything in return, maybe even the brat." "I s-swear it, S-Sukuna! I swear my loyalty to you!" You hiss between your gritted teeth, hips rolling in synchronicity with his hand. "And in return, what do you want?" "I want you! Oh, god, I only want you!" "Clever girl." The man decides to give you what you want, and with a quickened pace, you squeeze your thighs together, coming undone on his fingers. "I'm going to enjoy your company." Embracing your true nature is your salvation, and damnation. Your boyfriend is never coming back, Sukuna simply won't allow it, and from this moment on, your memories of Yuji begin to fade away, like a bad dream, because you simply must serve your beloved master, your merciful and devastatingly powerful god. That's who you really are.

[mythiccheroacademia]

A/N: Thank you hottie❤️ Tumblr was fucking with the format, so I had to repost.  Anyways, I looovveee this request. I’ve been waiting to be in the right mood to write this. Like, jealous muscular himbos completely head over heels for their s/o? Sign me up.

Sorry for the wait. I hope you enjoy this, sugar plum

All characters are 18+

Warnings: smut below the line!

Katsuki Bakugo:

SFW

bakugo doesnt get jealous

he usually felt secure in your relationship

yeah he got annoyed when kaminari would jokingly flirt with you

and yes, it made him angry when the dekusquad would literally stare at you with puppy dog eyes

and it pissed him off when kirishima suddenly became the funniest guy in the room when you were around

but he wasn’t jealous

how could he be? he’s bakugo katsuki

you agreed to go out with him. the strongest. the best. you couldn't get any better than him

right?

lmao no

the bigger the ego, the more fragile it was

bakugo doesnt handle jealousy well

there’s a small part of him that knows he can be an asshole

he’s not the most...affectionate person

but damn it, if he doesnt try his hardest for you

you notice that he gets quieter but his actions become a lot more aggressive

he’s glaring at anyone that smiles at you

it’s honestly scarier than his threats

forces you to hold hands

is suddenly into PDA??? when he kissed you in front of your friends you literally made a face

you didn't know what was up with him, but you were really confused when you told him to chill and he visibility wilted

once he came around to telling you that he wouldn't hold it against you if you wanted to leave him, you were quick to reassure him

give him a couple kisses and rub his ego just a tad, and he’ll be back to normal

acts like he didn't just look like he was about to cry two seconds ago

NSFW

there are two things that happen when bakugo gets jealous

at first, he’s very rough and handsy

he likes to talk big and say things like

“imma fuck you up when we get home”

“you like when daddy does that, sweetheart?”

“kiss it right there, baby”

“youre mine. tell me your mine”

he’s doing everything he can to get you screaming and thrashing

he’ll go down on you for hours, leave you trembling, only to tell you that was a warm-up

there’s this dark look in his eyes when he’s pounding into you, gripping the headboard so he can angle himself in the best position possible

it’s like he’s trying to prove himself by wrecking you

in the midst of your fucking, just when you feel like youre about to pass out, bakugo’s head falls on your shoulder

he’s still thrusting into you, but it gets slower and deeper

needier

now it’s not just fucking

looks into your eyes with the most adoring gaze and kisses the breath of out you

he can’t speak, too deep into your lovemaking to express how much he loves you

how he’s so scared of losing you

but you don’t need his words to understand

lock your legs around his hips and tell him how you’ll always be his and he will let out a moan that makes your toes curl

when you reach your high, it’s a vulnerable moment

lots of soft kisses and hugging

wont admit to the tears that sting his eyes but is willing to express his adornment for you through his embrace and aftercare

Todoroki Shouto:

SFW

todoroki doesnt have a lot of experience with jealousy

he knows what anger is

he’s felt insecurity

and he knows what it feels like to long for something or someone

but envy was a foreign concept to him

that was until he got into his first romantic relationship with you

don't get him wrong, he trusted you with everything

you gave him no reason to question your loyalty

and it never occurred to him that you would leave him for someone else because of how strong your love was for one another

however, his insecurities always got the best of him

he had a lot of baggage

he knew that

and when someone would approach you, someone that looked free-spirited and independent, he’d wonder if he was holding you back

even then, he can’t help but think that no one is worth the ground you walked on

not even himself sometimes

he never brings it up

but you notice that he started touching his scar a lot more

todoroki would try to act more extroverted thinking it would be better if he was livelier

youre deep talks about family matter diminished little by little

he tried to fill your comfortable silence with awkward conversation

you were so confused why your bf was acting so different

it took a couple attempts to get him to spill his thoughts

once he did, he’s stark quiet, looking away, fearing that you’d be so disappointed in him

but you just take his face in your hands and tell him

“you’re my whole world shouto. why would i ever give that up?”

he holds you in his arms for a long time after that

NSFW

behind his jealousy of onlooking eyes is a deep steed of low self-esteem

and you can feel it when you get intimate

he’s always looking to please you, but now he’s desperate, trying so hard to think of what will make you feel good

it makes you sad bc he already knows the answer to those questions

but he overthinks it

he’s noticeably shier

his touches are hesitant as he second-guesses himself

is continuously asking if you’re okay or if he’s doing it right

at one point, you have to take charge and push him down on the bed

“let me show you how much i want you. just you”

licks his lips as you kiss down his body

one of those guys that believes sucking his dick is a chore 💀

“you don't have to do that” face ass

so when you suck the soul out of him, he’s SPRUNG

would write a song about it if he could LMAO

quickly says he loves you before kissing you like the world depends on it as you ride him

twirl your hips in the way he likes and he’ll hiss out curses

run your hands through his hair and kiss his scar and he’ll give you such pretty moans

please tell him how beautiful he is and how much you love him

my mans will nut on the spot

after the first round, he regains his confidence and flips you on your hands and knees

before you even know what’s going on, he’s pounding into you, gripping your hips like a lifeline

now that he’s reminded that he’s your man, he spends the night realigning your spine

bc who could do it better?

Togata Mirio:

SFW

mirio is one of the most confident people ever

not only is he secure in himself, but he’s secure in your relationship

he knows he bagged a baddie

ofc people would be all over you

he couldn't blame them! i mean, look at you!

when people approached you, he usually let you handle it

if they were persistent, he would just put an arm around your waist

“you’ve got good taste, but they’re taken! sorry!”

it’s so wholesome that the other person can’t even find it within themselves to be upset

there was only one time he recalled getting genuinely jealous

it was during the time you two weren't exclusively dating

just going on dates to see how things went

at the same time, he overheard from your friend that your ex was trying to get back with you

when he heard that, he started sweating

it wasn't jealousy, but more like fear

he was determined not to lose you

not when things were going so well

mirio literally goes above and beyond on your dates

mans deadass learns how to cook all your favorite foods to bring to you

youre crying bc the seasoning was just *chef’s kiss*

brings you flowers at random times of the day

sends you pictures of things that remind him of you

you’re just soaking up all the attention

he’s always been an extra person so you didn't think much of it

it wasn't until you two were cuddling and watching a movie in his apartment that he confesses to you

“i know that i’m competing against history between you and your ex, but i want you to know that my feelings for you are strong, y/n. and i’ll do everything to prove to you that i can be the man of your dreams”

you stare at him before bringing him in for a kiss

“there’s a reason my ex is my ex”

“but--”

“just ask me to be yours already, mirio”

he didnt have to be told twice

NSFW

it was actually that same night that cuddling turned into something a little nastier

honestly, from then on, if you cuddled for more than 20min, there was a 99% chance yall end up fucking lmao

but that night, when he was kissing your neck and grinding his dick against you, he noticed your phone light up on the nightstand

you were too caught up in his fingers between your legs but he saw the text from your ex

it read: “i know this might be out of the blue, but would you wanna catch up over dinner sometime?”

now, mirio wasn't one to be spiteful

but he couldn't help but get a little heated

knowing your ex was trying to get back with you was way different than seeing it

a tiny switch goes off in his head and now he’s ready to make it known that you and him are together

you’re in heaven as mirio’s lips suck and nip at your neck and body

his head game is immaculate

turns you on your stomach so he can massage your back and ass before sliding into you

mirio holds your neck and gives you sloppy kisses as his hips swim into you

your phone lights up again and you can barely think straight when he gets rougher

starts pounding into you like he’s tryna put a baby in you whether it’s possible or not 💀

youre grabbing for anything you can hold as he starts whispering sweet nothings about how he’s gonna take care of you

whew...what a man yall 🥴

the entire time he’s wearing a shit-eating grin

bc he knows he won

might have accidentally sent your ex a voice recording of you moaning his name

oops

[sinswithpleasure]

The Playgirl (ft. LOONA’s Yves) [Part 3] [Female Reader]

—————

I’m back with part 3!

I know I said I’d start mentioning Yves being futa here, but welp, I doubt it’d be out until Part 6-8?

If you prefer, this is also on AO3 and AFF!

Thanks to @existslikepristin​ and @ggidolsmuts​ for editing / beta reading!

—————

Another month passes.

Yves has been improving a lot, and you're teaching her more than just math. Even on weekends, she requests tutoring, and both of you work on projects or study together, be it at Seoul U's cafe or in empty classrooms.

Two months since you began tutoring her, about one month since you took up her deal. Something in Yves shifts—when she began studying, it was out of just competitive spirit. Now, she seems to truly like what she's doing, and you can't help but to let yourself enjoy the sight of this Yves. She turns up to school a little more regularly, though she still comes to terrorize people. She doesn't go out to parties as much, choosing instead to hang with you. The attention you get from her feels like too much and not enough at the same time. 

Other than being your student, Yves becomes somewhat of a regular fixture in your life. She still frustrates you—her semi-regular absences from school are met with your nagging and her regular dismissal, her constant nonchalance about how she carries herself still annoys you, and she still constantly flirts with you. That last point is also part of the reason why she is kind of a welcome presence in your life. If she isn't present in school, she will be seen leaning against a wall after class, leather jacket over her shoulders, your favourite mocha frappe in her hands. If she doesn't turn up for a tutoring session, she drops a call and apologizes, then makes it up to you with your favourite dessert next session. On the regular, she always has a compliment or a greasy remark tailored for you on hand, both making you groan and internally panic simultaneously.

It doesn't help that she keeps getting prettier, at least to you. Every day, her empty desk taunts you. Sometimes, you wish she was next to you, lollipop in her mouth, gazing at you and flirting with you. Your heart skips a beat when she pushes herself off the wall to wrap an arm around your shoulder, waving the frappe in front of your face with a "Hey, babygirl" . You look forward to the text exchanges with her every night, where both of you can text for hours. You adore her lip bites when she is focused on something, her soft "Assa!" when she gets something right.

Perhaps your crush on her is starting to get out of hand, but you don't want it to end. 

-----

Your phone rings. Caller ID: yves 💘

"Yo, babygirl."

"Don't—ah, nevermind."

"The cafe's closed today. Wanna come over to my place?"

"What?"

"My place. Come over."

"Oh, um…"

"Text me your address. I'll pick you up."

"Okay."

When Yves hangs up, you panic. Her place? You'll get to see how she lives? Her private space? What?! You fire off a text to Yves, then you carry on panicking.

[yves💘 has sent a message:]

Gotchu

I'll see you in 15, babygirl

Can't wait ;)

-----

Yves's place is cozy. For someone so punk rock, her place looks so homely, so full of life. However, Yves lives alone. Weird, considering there's a lot of stuff that is placed neatly on tables and shelves, too much for one person to use. 

"Welcome to my humble abode, babygirl." Yves curtsies, flashing you her dazzling smile. You place your bag down on the couch in her living room, rummaging to find what you need.

"Hey, would you mind if I went for a shower first? I've had a busy morning."

"Oh, no, sure. Go ahead."

"Right, thanks babe."

Yves leaves. In the meantime, you wander around her living room, glancing at the items on her shelves. A vintage tea set, a back scratcher, and an old camera? Those look pretty cool. Beneath that, another shelf holds a few old DVD cases, each of some old music from the 70s and 80s. Also, are those cassette tapes? You pick each one up, getting a feel of them in your hands. Damn, these are cool.

You wander along the hallways. When you pass by the bathroom, you can hear the water running. Suddenly, you’re hit with intrusive thoughts, all of them about Yves.

Your crush. Just a handful of metres away from you. Undressing. Naked. Under the shower. Water running down her bare skin, maybe over those chiseled abs of hers? Her naked chest, her legs?

You return to her couch, collapsing on it, trying to fight the dirtier thoughts in your head.

You sink your face in your hands, groaning at the thought of a naked Yves. This isn't the first time, and it won't be the last, but it sucks to be thinking of something inappropriate when the time isn't right. The gulps of water you inhale don't quench the correct thirst, but at least it does something.

"Hey baby."

Yves's voice makes you jump. The cutest girl ever greets your eyes, with a look that you never thought she'd rock. That same girl has her head bowed, a sheepish smile on her face, her hand moving to tuck some hair behind her ear.

She looks gorgeous.

Her wet hair, formerly slicked back, now falls over her forehead, forming cute bangs. Her  leather jackets and crop tops are traded for a cozy oversized long-sleeved sweater that engulfs her body, giving her sweater paws. Yves pairs that with sweatpants, and a cute pair of bunny slippers. 

She looks so cute and all you want to do is to mash her lips with yours.

You gasp, freezing. Yves walks over to you, planting her books on the table, refusing to meet your eyes. She grins when she finally looks at you though.

"How do I look?"

"Ah, um, er…" You stammer, unable to process the sight of the punk rock, cool, bad girl Yves now looking like a girly, adorable cutie. This wasn't Yves, this was just Ha Sooyoung. 

"You… you look, er, good," you breathe.

Yves halts, red starting to colour her ears. She looks away, seemingly wiping at her face with one of her sleeves.

"Thank you." Her voice is tiny, tinier than usual. You want to hug her but you control yourself, settling to admire how she looks instead. She looks so pretty, so fucking pretty, and you wonder why she doesn't look like this on the regular. Maybe she's letting you see her more private, intimate side. Maybe she somehow found out you quite like this style. Whatever the reason is, it's working. How do you even continue to function today, now that you've seen Yves look like this?

You love this Yves— no, this is Ha Sooyoung, you hastily remind yourself. She looks so domestic, so cute, so… girlfriend? You want to glomp her, and that urge is increasingly hard to control.

"Let's begin."

"O-Okay."

Both of you slip into your roles as teacher and student. For Yves, it’s seamless, but for you, you struggle to do so. The student herself is a distraction.

The session begins.

-----

"Stay for dinner, babe?"

Yves rises from her chair, walking over to her kitchen. She begins pulling stuff out of her fridge and cabinets, setting them on the table. 

"Oh, sure."

You sink yourself on a dining chair as Yves ties an apron around her neck. She begins work on chopping up some garlic and onions, and you let yourself just… look at her. 

She looks so cool, so domestic, so beautiful as she works on whatever it is. You can't help but fall harder for her, and you let yourself gaze lovingly stare at her.

"You're staring, babygirl."

"Ummfhhhdgh!" You stammer, hastily looking away to pretend you weren't. You drum your fingers on the table, shifting around on your seat to distract yourself from Yves's eyes. 

"Uh-uh, you don't get to hide now." Yves tilts your chin up with her finger, her eyes locked onto yours, her lips inches from yours. This is the umpteenth time Yves has had you in kissing range, and you wish she'd finish the job. 

"You look starstruck, babe. Am I that pretty?"

"Y-Yes." 

Yves chuckles, stroking your cheek with her thumb. 

"God, you're so cute. I'd kiss you right now, but we both know we'd do more than that."

"Wha—?"

"I've seen the way you look at me. I know what you're thinking. If we kiss…" Yves trails off, moving to finish her sentence next to your ear. 

"If we kiss, we both know we won't just be kissing at the end of the night."

When Yves finishes her sentence, you feel her soft lips press against your cheek. Out of the corner of your eye, you see her lips turn up in her signature cocky smirk. You’ve got the urge to kiss it off her face, but you pause, refusing to give in to her. She is right—if you kissed her, you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from jumping her.

-----

Dinner is a relatively quiet affair, with Yves winking at you when you catch eyes with her, and you becoming more flustered each time. All you can think of is about how Yves essentially admitted she knows you want her as much as she wants you, and that thought is enough to fuel your imagination for the night. 

When Yves drops you off in front of your apartment, she gets off her bike, wrapping her arms around your waist from the back.

"Huh?!"

"Goodnight babygirl," Yves whispers next to your ear, her breath causing you to shudder, "I'll be thinking of you tonight."

That settles it. The fire between your legs needs some dousing. You can't help but turn to look at Yves with the utmost shock, meeting her knowing grin. Yves waves, putting her helmet back on and riding off into the night. 

-----

The cold shower you take after reaching home does nothing for you. Yves's words still ring deep in your ear.

If we kiss, we both know we won't just be kissing at the end of the night.

I'll be thinking of you tonight.

Your body feels warm—too warm for the oversized T-shirt and boyshorts you have on. The thought of having Yves pin you against a wall, her lips on yours, tongue swiping at your lips to gain access is way too much for you, and soon enough, you imagine Yves pinning you to her bed, stripping you and teasing you with her touch. These thoughts lead you to lie atop your bed, your shirt pulled up to expose your chest, your boyshorts stripped off to let your hand circle your clit freely. 

"Oh, fuck…"

In your head, Yves has her fingers on you, touching you the same way you touch yourself now. Her fingers mirror the way yours do—rubbing directly over the hood covering your clit, before swiping between your slit to wet her fingers. 

"So wet, babygirl. All for me too."

"Oh, oh shit!"

Yves plunges her fingers deep within you, thrusting freely. Your free hand kneads your left breast, teasing your nipple to drive you crazier. 

"Fuck, Yves, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"Yes, babygirl. That's what I want to hear. Moan my name. Let the world know how wet you are for me."

The dirty sounds of your fingers thrusting deep into yourself only fuels your lust even further. The image in your head morphs from Yves fingering you to her between your legs, her panties pushed aside to expose her pussy. Yves pushes her pussy against yours, grinding against you, flexing her abs with each movement of her hips. In the physical world, you strip yourself of the shirt, grabbing a pillow and straddling it. 

"How does my pussy feel against yours, babygirl? I told you I'd make you love me."

You grind harshly on the pillow. The haze of pleasure is all you can process—how loud you moan doesn't matter anymore. 

"Fuck, yes, Yves, Yves, Yves, fuck, Sooyoung, Sooyoung, I'm gonna come, Sooyoung, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come!"

With a squeal, you grind harder on the pillow, feeling waves of pleasure wash over your body as slick spills out of your clenching hole. Sweat runs down your forehead, your back, down your chest. In your head, Yves comes just as you do, her body writhing in pleasure as slick flows out of her. 

You collapse on the bed, letting the afterglow of your orgasm wash over you. Yves still doesn't leave your head, but you don't really hate that. You're way beyond trying to hide that you want to fuck her, or that you want her to make you hers anyway.

[butwhatifidothis]

Tumblr is starting to VERY MUCH dislike how long the other reblog chain is getting, so this will be Reblog Chain 2 of my jotting down notes of this fic. Here is the first reblog chain for Chapters 1-20

But it appears as though I was correct in sleeping off Chapter 20, because Chapter 21 is. Hm. bad. Very. Not good.

Chapter 21:

Transcript under the cut:

Chapter 21: It's Called Scars so it Gonna Be Ass

- To be blunt, the constant need to reaffirm that yes, Edelgard went through terrible experimentation and that yes, they were very horrific, is tiring. This is chapter 21. The experiments occurred in chapter 2. Every single chapter between now and then have, at some point, mentioned that INDEED, Edelgard DID in fact go through horrific trauma. It is tiring to the reader to constantly have to reread the same thing - we know it happened. We know it was terrible. There's no need to constantly say so; we already understand as readers.

- "Every time the spark of life broke through Byleth’s blank face, it brought a flickering hope to the Flame Emperor’s heart." ->

- Firstly: Awkward use of the Flame Emperor epithet (its usage is on and off with how appropriate its been - this is off).

- Secondly: Once again, Byleth's face was rarely if ever blank. She was never the Ashen Demon, as even the last chapter showcased. The author is mistaking reservation with emotionlessness, which is simply wrong

- "There had been so many empty days and nights, without friendship, love or joy. With nothing to hope for, except someday, the peace of the grave." -> Suicidal tendencies: another trait that Edelgard doesn't have... (strikes against canon: 89)

- ...but Dimitri does. Counter: 12

- "Dimitri, too, was troubled by the thought, grasping the side of his head and frowning. As the spasm passed, he turned to Edelgard and smiled warmly." -> It seems a little callous to so casually toss Dimitri's symptoms into his interactions with others when such things simply don't occur in the canon interactions. It's not impossible, or strictly against canon, but it does not feel natural; it's more as though the author is shining bright neon signs that say DIMITRI HAS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES than a genuine attempt at writing Dimitri's mental health issues. This is not the first time this sort of seemingly thoughtless showcasing of symptoms has happened (Noted separately: Dimitri having drastic mood swings)

- "No, this world must be ruled by humans…not cruel gods who ignored the prayers of little girls." -> This statement follows Edelgard internally chastising the actions of not gods, but the Children of the Goddess. This is a weaselly attempt at dodging Edelgard's racist beliefs that Nabateans should not be allowed positions of power by shifting the belief to apply to miscellaneous gods instead. While not inaccurate per se - she does also canonically believe that gods should have no power in human affairs - it is not honest

- "Byleth nodded with childlike simplicity. “We should all try to get along.”" -> Again describing Byleth as childlike and/or innocent. Counter: 3

- For those curious: yes, the rat scene is implemented, yes it is sloppy, yes it is out of character for Claude - so much so that it is being noted separately - and yes it is forced to all hell

- What will be noted here, however, is that this is yet another instance of a man being demeaned/humiliated for the honor of a woman. See quote: "Byleth was on him in an instant, a tempest forming in the sea of her blue eyes. “That isn’t funny.” She crossed her arms sternly. “Jokes are about bringing people together...about making them smile. Right now, the only person laughing is you.”" with Claude reacting awkwardly. Once again, Man Bad Woman Good

- In a showcasing of a complete lack of self-awareness within the fic: "“Maybe if you’d have taught the Deer instead…but since you seem to have no ambitions outside of cleaning up Edelgard’s messes…”" -> This is Claude being portrayed as the bad guy, not the one being completely and utterly right

- " She slapped Edelgard on the back, and smiled heartily. “I agree, Dimitri!” Edelgard grimaced, trying to hide the fact her teacher had just struck the wound she had received during the mock battle." -> As well as where undoubtedly countless scars would be, yes? Scars that still cause Edelgard pain? In fact, Edelgard has been slapped on the back by Byleth and Jeralt numerous times before, and yet expresses no pain or discomfort.

- Another thing, that I had not noted though ought to have: Edelgard, a victim of sexual assault (in this fic), rarely seems to mind people touching her. She gets a little surprised if someone tries to get her attention with touch, yes, but Byleth's constant unprompted and random touching of Edelgard is never said to do anything but bring warmth and joy and comfort to Edelgard. It seems as though Edelgard suffering through sexual assault is just another source of trauma for the author to dump onto her for nothing more than pity points

- This is incredibly harsh to say, yes, and I would usually refrain from attributing such harshness onto a piece of text, but remember that Edelgard's scars only cause her pain when it's convenient, that she only experiences headaches when it's convenient, that she experiences PTSD episodes (when Claude mentions the rat) when it's convenient (note that in this fic he does it outside of battle, where her getting triggered wouldn't compromise her chances at victory). Edelgard not being touch averse and being a victim of sexual assault are not inherently something bad - survivors react to trauma differently, after all - but it is another in a steadily longer line of instances where Edelgard is simply given trauma for the sake of making her pitiable to the reader and the love interest, not something that Edelgard genuinely has to struggle with.

- "As Claude and Dimitri looked at their classmate expectantly, Edelgard was wracked with another bout of guilt. Deep in her soul, the princess knew these peaceful days would end soon. When that happened, no feast or vows of friendship could make up for the chaos and horror she would unleash. It would be better to pull away, close off her heart, rather than fuel the flames of her inevitable betrayal." -> Aka, "Feel bad for me, I feel guilty for planning to cause the death and ruination of countless innocents' lives all because I convinced myself that my way is the only way to get things done my way without ever actually trying to see if more peaceful ways could have worked. I'm going to orphan children, force families to fight each other, have the land be rampaged by banditry, and overall bring chaos onto these days that I ADMIT ARE PEACEFUL all because I feel that my way would be better. Wah wah pity me but I don't wanna be pitied I promise wah wah."

- "Byleth shrugged with a characteristic blend of innocence and spirit. “I guess I just like winning.” She began to blush and grabbed Edelgard’s hand. "It's so exciting! I’ve never had anyone other than Papa to celebrate with before!”" -> Byleth = innocent/childlike. Counter: 4

- The fic likes to reaffirm again and again that Byleth is "now" only acting like this due to Edelgard's presence in her life. Note also these statements written previously: "Every day, [Edelgard] was watching the person she loved grow and change. Become who she always was supposed to be." This, perhaps unintentionally, again enforces the "Lesbian Love is Pure and Innocent" trope; these wlw are only allowed to be their good girl, innocent selves - who they were always supposed to be - due to the pure lesbian love they have found with one another

- Count Bergliez didn't know of the experiments initially, but he eventually found out and did nothing to stop them, fleeing from a young and tortured El who was pleading for him to save her - Unnecessarily painting Count Bergliez as a spineless coward too afraid of Duke Aegir to save a child in pain

- Once again, a man fails to save a woman and further traumatizes her

- It should be noted that Bergliez is fearful not for his own life, but for that of his children, who were the ones Duke Aegir threatened. He, very similar to Ionius, cannot save Edelgard, except Bergliez (unlike Ionius) has a tangible, physical, explainable reason as to why he couldn't, and yet it is him who is painted as the bad guy, not Ionius. He is worthy of Edelgard's scorn and hatred, but Ionius only receives a begrudging feeling of betrayal from Edelgard that she feels guilty for harboring, even though he failed her far more than Bergliez failed her.

- "Daughters must always be loyal to their fathers" trope

- "No decent person thought the things Edelgard did. Just as her body had been twisted and shattered by the experiments, her mind bore terrible scars. Scars that the monster kept hidden, so she could walk in the world of men." -> Dehumanizing oneself as a monster as well as having violent thoughts (that specifically stem from trauma) one feels guilty for harboring are not traits Edelgard shows in canon... (strikes against canon, 90, 91)

- ...but Dimitri does. Counter: 13, 14

- "world of men?" Did the author perhaps mean "world of man," as in mankind? Keep note of

- The reason as to why Bergliez is said to have witnessed young El's tortured state and did nothing to help her is revealed: in canon, he dislikes her. It is blatantly and objectively said that he and Edelgard share a mutual displeasure in the other's company. What this fic had him do will be used as an excuse as to why he doesn't hate her, since no one is allowed to dislike Edelgard on the "good" side

- Edelgard, upon being asked if revenge is the reason she is doing what she's doing (reuniting Fodlan): "“No.” Edelgard put her hand to her chin thoughtfully. “I think for a long time, it was…but after a while, I realized that revenge wouldn’t satisfy me.” She looked at the blue sky above. “After you go through that much suffering…when you beg for help, day after day, and no one cares...you realize that nothing will ever truly make you feel safe again. The only thing I want is for this madness to end.”" -> This is internally inconsistent. See chapter 15 note: ""You know why they created me in the first place.” / “To reunite Fódlan,” spat Hubert. “It was all my father talked about.” / “And I will give it to them. "" This directly connects Edelgard's want to reunite Fodlan to the wants of her tormenters (as this states she is doing it out of spite). Note how Hubert spits at the idea of reuniting Fodlan, and how it was all his father - portrayed as a villain - talked about. This is not what this Edelgard wants, at least not of her own independent want. Earlier in this very chapter, Edelgard internally states a want to hurt Bergliez for leaving her behind. To say that she now no longer thinks vengeance would satisfy her, or that none of the reason that she is doing everything she does is out of a want for revenge, is ridiculous

- Edelgard to Bergliez, upon being asked what will happen to him and his family should Edelgard rise to power: "“All those who distinguish themselves will be rewarded. Given your history, I have little doubt you will be among them.” She nervously played with her white gloves. “All I ask is that when I seize back control of the throne, I can count on the military’s support.”" -> Yes, all who distinguish themselves to Edelgard, for Edelgard's cause, that Edelgard can see and/or know of. How likely is it that a poor farmer who is exceptional at fighting will actually be noticed by Edelgard and be given the credit he deserves, when others who may not be as meritable but do have some merit have the connections to show themselves directly in front of Edelgard? What means will Edelgard give the poor soldiers (that she or Byleth aren't already friends with, notably Dorothea and Leonie) that will allow them to be able to be seen by her and have their merits recognized? Edelgard is the one who says who gains power after all, so it is her they must prove themselves to, but how can they realistically do that?

- What about professions that are not immediately beneficial to Edelgard's cause, such as the arts? How will they fare in Edelgard's society, when their works and talents yield no tangible, objective results (such as, say, farming)?

- Something the fic will address?

- Edelgard does not nervously do anything in front of those she is trying to negotiate with in canon, not even Thales. Strikes against canon: 92

- "[Bergliez] could only laugh in response. “I think we’re going to get along rather well, my lady…and the other?”" -> Except Bergliez and Edelgard don't get along well, ever. Pre ts they are stated to dislike each other, which continues even onto post ts with Bergliez being the only noble Edelgard couldn't bring to heel. Strikes against canon: 93

- As predicted: No one is allowed to dislike Edelgard on the "good" side

- Literally forgot Hubert was with Edelgard and Bergliez lmao

- Ionius tried to consolidate power to be rid of the consort system due to his unending love for Anselma -> A ridiculous idea, plain and simple. Ionius was Emperor. If he wished to be rid of the consort system there was no need for him to try and take away all power from the other Imperial houses.

- If Ionius truly loved Anselma, why did he allow her to be exiled from the Empire? Why didn't he step in and use his influence as Emperor to help her?

- Edelgard, when she is Emperor - passed down a supposedly empty crown, at that - showcases the all-encompassing power the title of Emperor truly holds to one willing to use that power. That Ionius supposedly wanted to do all of these reforms and yet nothing at all was done, ever (save for ruining Houses Hrym and Ordelia, something even this fic has as canon), if Ionius did want to make these reforms, means that he was too spineless and cowardly to truly go through with trying to pass them. This again unintentionally showcases how awful a ruler and weak-willed a person Ionius was when he had power when trying to paint him in this righteous light.

- Lambert was stated to be trying to pass reforms before he died in canon, not Ionius. From parents to the children, the author is attributing traits from Lambert onto Ionius just as he (author's confirmed gender is male) attributes traits from Dimitri onto Edelgard

- " Her father and mother…she had thought their romance a fairy tale-a story from her father to make a motherless child feel valued. But…they truly had loved each other." -> Edelgard does believe Ionius when he told her of the story of when he and Anselma (supposedly) met each other. There is nothing to indicate that Edelgard thought it to be a lie: in fact, in canon: "But I choose to believe there was genuine love between them." Strikes against canon: 94

- It seems as though finally, after around 18 chapters, Edelgard's scars will finally cause her genuine inconvenience due to her complex about them as well as her trust issues. She has a gash on her back from the Battle of Eagle and Lion, but will not have it treated if Manuela isn't the healer, and yet the woman is occupied dealing with the rest of the students who were injured. How will this fic deal with this?

- Ingrid, referring to her and Sylvain: ""We just switched from Felix lecturing us all day to listening to Edelgard moralizing, didn’t we?"" -> The author is trying to compare a childhood friend whose friends have had years to get used to their barbed tongue to a stranger that directly insults the dreams of one of them. Something which Ingrid canonically hates having be done to her, even from Felix, a childhood friend. Once again, Ingrid being so casual about Edelgard being so disrespectful of her dreams is out of character. Strikes against canon: 95

- "Sylvain shook his head knowingly, ignoring Felix’s truly alarming scowl. “You should have seen his face, Edelgard. Dimitri would go on and on about this girl he met when he was a kid…and Felix would complain about her for hours!” He looked at Felix and smiled. “For all his whining about the “Boar,” nobody loves Dimitri more than him.”" -> Oh? A romantic gay male relationship presenting itself within the fic?

- Another vision of SS experienced by Edelgard. Word from a nameless guard: "The woman, Byleth, leading their forces... She’s not human! She killed half my battalion with one swing of that sword of hers. She didn’t speak, she didn’t shout, she didn’t even change her expression!” The panicked man was teetering on the edge of hysteria. “All those people rallying around her, and it’s like she doesn’t care at all. Like she's a walking corpse!"" -> Obviously saying that Byleth becomes the Ashen Demon if not allowed to be with Edelgard.

- Unintentional statement: Byleth can't be the pure innocent (lesbian) woman without Edelgard's (lesbian) love granting her purity, reverting her to a monstrous, corrupt demon incapable of humanity

- See chapter 20 note: "Implying that choosing SS - aka, choosing the Nabateans - makes Byleth less human. Intentional?" Confirmed to be intentional. Also false: in canon, even when accounting for CF's lesser chapter count, Byleth emotes far more on SS than on CF, which matches with CF having Edelgard call Byleth detached in their A support. Strikes against canon: 96

- The same nameless soldier, same context: "And those Faerghus kids…” / Edelgard leaned forward in her chair. “Ingrid…Sylvain…what of them?” / “They…they were animals. Screaming and ranting about revenge for the King.” -> Is the author really demonizing Sylvain and Ingrid for (potentially!) being mad at Edelgard for murdering one of their childhood friends? Is that really the depths the Edelgard worship will sink to, that friends becoming enraged at a friend's unjust murder from a warlord is being portrayed as something sad for the warlord? Just what else should Edelgard be pitied for?

- "The scared girl desperately tried to drown out the thoughts that reverberated incessantly. / They’re going to despise us…it’s destiny. And how could they not? If we were truly good, the Goddess would have saved us…protected us. But She didn’t. The Goddess took Mother. She took our family. And soon, She’ll take everything else we love. She hates us. / It’s what we deserve." - Now confirmed that Edelgard hears multiple voices in her head tormenting her. That trait that, once again, Edelgard does not have... (Strikes against canon: 97)

- ...but Dimitri does. This is the third time this chapter that this has happened, and far from the only chapter to display such baffling characterization of Edelgard via Dimitri's traits. It is nonsensical.

- " Why had [Edelgard] even been born at all? Nonexistence would have been preferable to watching every faint dream be dashed, to suffering alone over and over. She was just…so tired of being alive." -> Once. Again. Suicidal tendencies/thoughts is not a trait Edelgard shows in canon... (Strikes against canon: 98)

- ...but Dimitri does. The fourth! The fourth time in one chapter the author desperately wanted to just write Dimitri!

- If the fic wanted to take Edelgard in a different direction than canon does and has her display some of these traits, it would be more passable, but this fic is under the delusion that it is in any way following canon closely, especially in regards to Edelgard, and so this can only be seen as a desperate attempt from the author to have Edelgard be sympathetic by donning the skin of an actually sympathetic character such as Dimitri

- "Edelgard looked at herself in the mirror. The back of her academy uniform was stained red, the rhythmic, soft dripping of blood assaulting the princess’ ears." -> And no one commented on this? No one was worried? Not Ingrid, Sylvain, and Felix, who were sitting right by her? Not Lysithea, who saw her take the blow to her back and never get it healed? Not Dimitri, who delivered the blow? It just so happened that literally no one at all noticed this?

- Byleth literally slapped Edelgard on the back earlier? Wouldn't her hand come back red with blood if it were seeping through the uniform?

** The scene that follows the previous note is too long to quote, despite how truly terrible it is. Long quotes, even extremely long quotes, have been presented in these notes before, but the length this quotation would be if the full extent of it were written here would be a mess, and quite frankly, at that point it would do one better to simply go to the fanfiction itself and read the text from there. With the context received from these notes, if one wishes to see the words for themselves, go to chapter 21 of The Emperor and the Goddess, enter Ctrl + F (or Find in Page on mobile devices), and enter the phrase "Byleth crossed her arms, clearly frustrated" verbatim. The following note will not be quoting the entire scene from the fic (merely summarizing it), though context is needed to understand how truly bad the scene is. **

- To have hope in this fic performing anything correctly is proving to be a fool's dream, for it has yet to do anything right; that includes the aforementioned gash upon Edelgard's back. As stated, it did not draw the attention of those who were sitting around her nor did it draw the attention of the one who witnessed the injury itself, nor of the one who delivered the injury itself, so no one commented on the gaping, bleeding wound Edelgard was "hiding" from everyone as she turned her (bleeding) back to them and left for the baths to clean up (it must be heavily stressed: immediately after leaving it is revealed that the blood is seeping through her uniform). As she was washing - naked, of course - Byleth just so happened to step into the baths with only a towel wrapped around her "for modesty," much to the horror of Edelgard, for she does not want Byleth seeing her scarred body. A slight argument arises between the two over Edelgard getting her injuries checked, before Byleth warns Edelgard that she will go to Rhea and force her to go to the infirmary should Edelgard continue to refuse treatment, which drives Edelgard past the brink. She raises her arms from the bathwater and presents her scars (""Fine!... If you want to see so badly, here!""), to the horror of Byleth ("Byleth Eisner was not a woman given to strong emotional reactions, but she staggered back, hands over her mouth."). Edelgard cries in hysteria, fear of her beloved teacher running away in disgust over her ugly, mutilated body overwhelming her. But Byleth, childlike in her innocence, shared that she too is scarred in strange ways, and that she too is scared of failing those around her - that she has no ambitions save to help and protect those around her. Byleth reveals that it is Edelgard whom Byleth looks up to for always being so strong and always moving forward, and shows that without Edelgard Byleth wouldn't know how to handle the pressure everyone else puts on her. The exchange ends with Byleth reassuring Edelgard that she is beautiful and not the monster she thinks she is.

- There is no nice way of putting this: this is a classic example of how not to write someone opening up to another about something. Edelgard views herself as weak, ugly, repulsive, a monster, shameful, but it is Byleth's love and affection that gives her comfort and warmth, that gives her hope of something more. It forces Byleth to behave wildly out of character (the author can try to excuse this with "well she wouldn't normally behave like this!" all he wants, it doesn't matter when it goes against the base, canonical Byleth. Strikes against canon: 99) in order for Edelgard's scarred body to be seen as something that is repulsive, that is ugly, that is stained, so much so that the pure, childlike, innocent Byleth couldn't stand to see something so tainted. And yet it is that same pure, childlike, innocent Byleth's pure, innocent, childlike love that pushes away the pain of Edelgard's scars for just that moment. Other characters become suddenly blind and/or forgetful of Edelgard's obvious, bleeding wound so that it is Byleth who can be the one to save Edelgard with her pure, innocent, childlike presence and her pure, innocent, childlike uncertainty about her own insecurities (but only when it is convenient for Edelgard, as even Byleth didn't noticed the gaping, bleeding wound until she was alone with Edelgard where no one could interrupt their bonding moment). This scene is inorganic and forced, ham-fisting Edelgard and Byleth in the same room - the wash room, where both are either naked or nearly naked - so that Byleth is the one to find Edelgard, no one else. No one was worried enough about the sudden exit Edelgard took from the conversation she was having to follow her and make sure she was alright, and Byleth just so happened to enter the baths right after Edelgard. The scene is, to be frank, insulting.

- There have been a couple of joking references to a book titled Stones to Abigail in these notes, but in all seriousness, this scene plays unsettlingly similar to a scene in said book, where a scarred girl who is naked reveals her "ugly" and "revolting" scarred body to the love interest, who goes on to soothe and comfort the naked girl as best they can. The resemblance is uncanny

- Byleth described as childlike/innocent. Counter: 5

- Edelgard, in canon, never expresses feeling herself to be ugly, or repulsive, or a monster. Strikes against canon: 100

- Again, Edelgard's scars are only important when they are convenient - this time, in helping develop the romantic relationship between her and Byleth

- There are ways in which scars can be utilized without being problematic, but certainly not when this much focus is placed on them and yet they are only truly present when they cannot hinder Edelgard.

- Perhaps particularly insulting is this phrase from Edelgard: "Did she actually love Byleth at all, or just being saved by her?" Yes, Edelgard, you do simply want to be saved by Byleth, because that is precisely what the narrative has been drilling into the reader's heads ever since Byleth showed herself. Byleth is Edelgard's light, Byleth is Edelgard's hope, Byleth gives Edelgard back her humanity, Byleth is Edelgard's one source of joy, Byleth is Edelgard's entire life, and nothing, absolutely nothing in this fic has shown this to ever be a bad thing. This dependence on Byleth to bring Edelgard joy at the near complete expense of everyone else has been propped up as something romantic, and yet it's now, 21 chapters and over 85K+ words in, that we're supposed to believe that this was actually Edelgard being unhealthy? Even though the author himself said that this was what he enjoyed about their relationship, how much they found each other in each other? Even though we see what the author thinks would happen to the two of them should they separate - Edelgard, lonely and afraid without her beloved teach, and Byleth, the Ashen Demon who cares for nothing without her beloved student - in her visions of SS? This is a joke

- It cannot be overstated that Byleth came to the bathhouses completely independently of Edelgard. She did not come to specifically see her because she followed her out of worry for Edelgard due to her injury - she only knows that Edelgard's injured in the first place due to seeing bloody bandages that Edelgard removed in the bathhouse, before Byleth arrived.

- Author's notes: "On Bergliez, we find out very little in-game, but he 1) offers himself for execution so his men can go free in SS and 2) seems to be actually competent at his job. I thought a nuanced portrayal was more interesting, since I've been writing Aegir as the absolute worst person in the world." -> Note: this is what the author believes to be a nuanced take on someone. Someone who likes Edelgard entirely and does nearly whatever they can to help her, but they did one thing that's morally gray (leaving a child behind to save his own children from the same fate) that is portrayed as objectively bad, so now they are nuanced. While perhaps this sort of character would be truly nuanced in better hands, as it is with his actions being portrayed as something that is obviously so completely and utterly wrong and him someone who deserves complete and utter condemnation - and yet Ionius, who does far worse for far less understandable reasons, gets a comparative slap on the wrist - it causes confusion as to Edelgard's lines. Bergliez seeing her the one time and never helping her is enough for her to want to hurt him as she was hurt, but her father repeatedly coming to and "being forced" to watch her actively be tortured and doing nothing does little to invoke similar depths of resentment? Even granting the idea that "she gives more slack to her father," Ionius is objectively and far worse than Bergliez, down to doing hard things to protect their children, and yet it is only Bergliez who is shined in this unpleasant a light

- To be clear, Bergliez's decision was not a good one, but understandable. It is a gray decision to make. But notice how he is called "gray" and "nuanced" and yet Ionius is nearly completely innocent, as described by the author himself, despite their being no given explaination as to why "he was a figurehead" should be a good enough reason to wash him literally standing there and watching as his children - some of whom aren't even teens yet - get slowly tortured and killed.

- "There are many localization changes I understand (Byleth wanting to get drunk after the battle is one of them), but Treehouse's decision to remove Ionius' entire reason for power centralization (eliminating the consorts) was a big, big mistake." -> Given the history of this author's grasp on the Japanese language, this needs to be checked, as he cannot be trusted as a source as to whether this is true

******* Notes of Claude mischaracterization: Chapter 21, section 1, paragraphs 1, 21 & 23, 27 *******

[morosemagick]

Listen, Before I Go | Finan x Reader One Shot

Welcome to my first one shot/first Reader!Fic.

Be gentle, I'm trash.

Warning: Major Character Death, (its sad, okay, idk what else to say.)

Words: 3847

Tagged:

@solinarimoon @lauwrite1225

You had seen many things in your life as a traveling healer. Wounds and illnesses alike, taking you from place to place wherever people may need you. Taking care of people was in your blood. Both your parents were healers, and you planned on using all they taught you to care for people around the world. And yet, when you met Uhtred of Bebbanburg and his crew of accident-prone warriors in the aftermath of the battle at Tettenhall, something inside you told you to stay. A feeling in your heart, telling you that no one will ever need you more than they would. Over the months that passed, that feeling proved true. You healed every cut, bruise, and battle wound they would come to acquire. Each wound healed was a bond growing stronger with each man in Uhtred’s service, including your lord himself.

Osferth, the first of the Coccham boys you healed. His kindness was always warming to the heart. Sihtric, who spoke often of his wife and joked about his desire to return to her in one piece. And of course, Finan, whose laugh made your heart skip a beat and smile did things to you that was certainly ungodly. They were your family, and you loved them all dearly.

And you would do whatever it took to save their lives.

Especially now, when they needed you most.

“Sihtric!” You scream out at the sight of him, bloody and broken. The snow falls thick and heavy around you, stained red with the Danish man’s blood and Osferth and Finan work together to lift him from the ground.

“We got him, Y/N, just go!” Finan yells out, and you nod okay. The storm is picking up and though the raiders that ambushed you are dead, none of you are out of the woods yet.

Up ahead is a cave. It’s cold and dark but it’s dry, and getting Sihtric out of the storm is your main priority.

“This way, to the cave!” You call out as you lead the men forward, being sure to check for any unfriendly creatures that might be hiding out from the storm inside. When the coast is clear, you wave the others on.

As carefully as they can, Osferth and Finan lower Sihtric to the ground. The injured warrior groaned as he touched the ground, “We need to make a fire.” Finan tells the rest of you.

“Did anyone see Lord Uhtred?” Osferth questions, making you and Finan glance at each other.

You shake your head no, and then Finan looks back to Osferth, “He must be with Lady Aethelflaed.”

“Should we look for them-”

“We can’t,” Finan cuts him off, sighing, “We must stick together, make a fire, and take care of Sihtric.”

“I will tend to Sihtric,” You tell them, “Go get what you need for a fire but please stay close, this storm is only getting worse, and finding your way back might get harder.”

Finan nods okay, and the two men leave as you bend down to check up on Sihtric. He’s breathing heavy but he’s still alert so that has you at ease. Checking his wound on his side, it doesn’t seem bad but it will definitely need stitching. His skin, however, is freezing to the touch and that makes you nervous, “That bad?” Sihtric chuckles the best he can, his eyes looking so very tired.

“Not at all, you needed stitches. That’s all,” You tell him as you look through the pouch tied to your belt.

“You are a bad liar, Y/N,” He huffs, looking up to the ceiling of the cave, “Tell me, please.”

Biting your lip, you sigh and glance away, “You're freezing, you need fire or you may get sick.”

“I could have told you that,” He laughs but the motion makes his side hurt and his laughter turns to a wince.

“You must rest, Sihtric, please,” You tell him as you find your needle and thread, “Eahlswith will not forgive you if you do not make it home in one piece, remember?”

“Ealhswith,” He smiles slightly, and then grunts as you start to clean the wound, “I miss her.”

“And you will see her soon, I promise,” Glancing up, you can see fear in Sihtrics eyes, and it breaks your heart, “I swear it, Sihtric.”

He only nods, and you continue to care for him in silence.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

Time has passed, and the fire has been made, but it’s small and just barely enough to keep you all comfortable so to make up for the lack of heat you all huddle close to each other. You are to Sihtric’s left, Finan is to yours, and Osferth is on the other side of Sihtric. Sihtric’s wound was cleaned well but he is still very cold and you’re trying your best not to show how worried you are. As you take a deep breath, you let out a shiver and it shakes your whole body.

Noticing how cold you are, Finan scoots closer and wraps his arms around yours and holding it tight, “You alright, Y/N?”

You glance momentarily at Sihtric, who's currently half awake with his head on your shoulder and his eyes on the fire ahead of them, and then look back at Finan, “I am.”

It’s a lie. You’re terrified.

Terrified of losing your friends, of dying to the cold, but mostly you’re terrified of not being able to keep the oath you made to Lord Uhtred and yourself to keep them all safe. It’s killing you inside.

Sihtric is shivering to your right, his cold body against yours sending chills down your spine.

“Alright there, Sihtric?” You ask him, though you know the answer. Instead of staying strong, you can feel him shake his head no. His fear brings a tear to your eyes, “It’ll be okay.”

“It will not,” Sihtric whispers, making everyone else suddenly alert to how beaten he’s feeling.

“It will be, Sihtric, we will get out of this mess like we have every other mess Uhtred has gotten us into,” Finan tries to joke in an attempt to keep everyone’s spirit up.

“Uhtred isn’t even here,” Sihtric tells him, his head still rested on your shoulder, “We might never see him again. I might not-”

“We are getting out of here,” Osferth adds, “God will see us through this.”

“He is not my God, Osferth, he does not care if I live or die,” Sihtric argues.

None of you have seen him so defeated before.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” You tell Sihtric as you turn your body to face him, forcing him to lift his head up. You can tell it’s a struggle for him to hold himself up, and it’s hard for you to keep a calm expression. You grab Sihtric by his face and put on your best smile, but your eyes are still watering and the wind outside has made it so unbearably cold; so at this point, you don’t know if you have it in your heart to lie to him. So you don’t, “I know you are cold, and you hurt, but I will do whatever it takes to make sure you get home to Coccham. To your wife, and to your son.”

Sihtric nods okay, but his eyes tell another story as he starts to cry.

Past his shoulder, you can see Osferth is also looking mighty defeated as his own eyes start to get red, and behind you, Finan’s hand has gripped your cloak and tight.

And then, to make matters worse, the fire dies.

“Fucking bastard fire!” Finan growls loudly as he kicks the still hot wood with his foot, making soot spread, “Fuck!” His scream echoes throughout the cave as he gets up and stomps around in anger, and you look away from Sihtric as you start to cry, biting your lip in hopes of keeping your fear to yourself.

On the tips of your fingers, you feel Sihtric’s tears falling down.

“Finan, sit... please,” Osferth calls out, and you can hear his voice cracking, “Being angry will solve nothing.”

Sihtrics’ crying has worsened, and now they can all hear him.

You pull him closer to you, cuddling him like a child in your arms, trying your best to keep him warm. His sobbing is enough to shake you both, but you keep your grip on him strong. Osferth scoots his body closer to Sihtrics, putting his arm around his brother, and to your left, you can hear Finan return to his seat. After a moment or two, you can feel his arms wrap around your waist and hold you tight.

At least if you die, it will be next to those you love the most.

The four of you sit this way in silence for some time, the only things you can hear are Sihtric crying and the strong snowy winds blowing outside the cave. You have never been a very religious person, but at that moment you find yourself praying to every god you can think of to save the ones you love.

A moment later you hear Sihtric sniffle, and shuffle a bit in your arms before he sighs and speaks, “Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Can you sing for us?” He asks, and you nod yes.

If you can bring him comfort now, in what very well might be his final hours, you will do whatever he wishes.

“Take me to the rooftop. I wanna see the world when I stop breathing. Turning blue,” You rest your cheek on top of Sihtric’s head, and your eyes glance away as you continue, “Tell me, love is endless, don't be so pretentious. Leave me, like you do. If you need me, wanna see me, better hurry 'Cause I'm leaving soon,” There's sniffling in the air as you sing, you can hear Osferth shuffling, probably to get closer to Sihtric, and you can feel Finan’s arms grip you tighter. “Sorry, can't save me now. Sorry, I don't know how. Sorry, there's no way out but down, mm down.”

You move your left hand down to where Finan is holding you tight, and he moves to grab it, squeezing it as best he can. His hand is lacking a glove, and yet you can feel his warmth.

You hold on to that feeling as you continue singing, “Taste me, the salty tears on my cheek. That's what a year-long headache does to you. I'm not okay, I feel so scattered, don't say I'm all that matters. Leave me. Deja vu. If you need me, wanna see me, you better hurry. I'm leaving soon,” Finan’s head is on your shoulder, you can feel his breath on your neck. It makes you think of all the times you should’ve kissed him. You should have told him. Probably too late for that now, though, “Sorry, can't save me now. Sorry, I don't know how. Sorry, there's no way out, but down, mm down. Write my friends and tell them that I love them. And I'll miss them... but I'm not sorry. Write my friends and tell them that I love them, and I'll miss them…”

Sorry.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

The men have been asleep for some now, but you’re still awake. You have been staring at Sihtric all night, watching his chest rise and fall. Making sure his chest still rises and falls. A couple of times you’ve even put your fingers to his lips to make certain that he’s still breathing. Anything to make sure he’ll survive through the night. On the other side of him, Osferth is sound asleep, you can hear the man snore just slightly, and see him cuddled against Sihtric’s side.

The inside of this cave is freezing but you know it’s better than being out in the storm.

“Y/N?” You hear Finan whisper, “Are you up?”

“I am,” You whisper back, your fingers hovering just above Sihtric’s lips. Still breathing, good. You roll over slowly to not wake him, and when you are facing Finan, you sigh, “He is still alive, thank God.”

“Do you think he’ll make it?” Finan asks quietly, his eyes a red mess.

You shrug, not wanting to lie right now, “I do not know, Finan,” You shake your head, and the tears are building in your eyes again and your next words barely make it out, “I fear the worst.”

The tears fall down your cheeks and you try your best to not cry too loudly because you fear waking them more than you do crying in front of the man who’s stolen your heart. Finan reaches out to hold you by your cheeks and you can feel how warm he is still, it’s not much but enough to feel wonderful against your cold face as you cry. He shuffles his body closer to you, and you can feel his breath on your face as you open your eyes.

You don’t want to die without him knowing how he makes you feel. How he makes your heart flutter. How he fills you with so much life.

How loved he makes you feel.

“Finan- I need to tell you something,” You get yourself ready to say the words, but he stops you with his finger on your lips.

“Tell me in the morning, Y/N,” He’s smiling, but his eyes are red and full of tears.

“But what if we don’t make it to morning?” Your voice cracks, and instead of answering Finan leans in and kisses you. It’s warm and delicious, and you want to kick yourself that it’s only happening now when you might not live to see another day because your body is cold but kissing Finan now fills your soul with so much warmth.

Perhaps this wouldn’t be a terrible way to die.

The two of you stay like that for a while, and you're trying your best to etch every inch of him into your mind as he pulls you in closer by the way to deepen the kiss. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted. It’s like coming home, and when you finally break apart the content smile on his face says he feels the same.

Finan leans back in, kissing your face over and over again. Making sure to kiss away all the tears that have stained your cheeks and then finding his way to your neck, “If I didn’t fear waking them, I’d pull my cock from my trousers and warm you with that.”

You try to bite your lip to contain your laughter, but a snicker comes out anyway, “I’m sure that is that last thing either of them would like to see now.”

“Aye, but what a sight it would be,” He smirks, leaning in for another kiss, “But If I’m going to bed you, Y/N, it will be properly I swear it.”

“I will hold you to that,” You tell him with another kiss, and as you move to separate you can see the expression on his face shift and the mood become more somber, "We should try to sleep. We need our energy."

"You sleep, I'll keep watch," Finan tells you, kissing your forehead.

"Nothing is going to hurt us here but the cold," You try to tell him, "Please try to sleep, Finan."

"I will, Y/N, let me just hold you for a while," Finan nods for you to turn around and you comply, and a moment later his arms are around your waist again and he's kissing behind your ear. Then, barely a whisper and more like wind, you can hear him say something in your ear, "Tá grá agam duit."

It's the last thing you hear before you fall asleep.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

You wake from your sleep in a cold sweat, your heart racing as you rise quickly from the ground. The first thing you do is turn your body to your right to check on Sihtric, and to your surprise you find him sitting up and wide awake.

It brings tears to your eyes.

"Oh thank God," You can't help but say at the sight of him.

Sihtric smiles slightly. He looks tired, but he's alive and that's all the matters, "Good morning, Y/N."

"How are you feeling?" You ask as you lean over to put the back of your hand on his forehead. He's warmer than he was last night, which is a good sign, "Warmer? Is your wound okay?"

"Looks like you did it again, Y/N," Osferth calls out as he enters the cave with firewood in his hand, "Told you you’d be okay." Osferth drops the wood where the original fire once sat and then walks over to Sihtric and ruffles his hair, "Lord Uhtred will be pleased."

You chuckle, wiping your face of tears, and then suddenly you remember last night and Finan.

With a smile still on your face you turn to your left, where you can see his body still lying there, "Finan, it's morning-" the moment you put your hand on him your smile fades and your heart drops as you notice something very important. His fur cloak isn't on his body, but on yours and Finan is cold, "Finan?" You shake his shoulder as you call his name, the frantic sound of your voice getting the other’s attention, "Finan!"

Osferth rushes to your side just as you turn him on his back, and you place your fingers to his lips and can barely feel a thing. Osferth, however, has his hand on Finan’s forehead, "He's burning up."

"I cannot feel his breath," You tell Osferth as the tears hit you quick, and your breathing is all over the place, "Finan, come on, please-" you start to pump at his chest to get his heart moving, breathing into his mouth to help him get air. You do both this over and over again, trying not to let the sobbing stop you, "Come on, Finan, please!"

"Y/N?" You can hear Sihtric's voice question you from where he sits, the sound of fear clear.

You keep going, refusing to give up on him. Thinking about the other night.

You still haven't told him-

"Y/N," Osferth calls to you, but you do not stop, "Y/N," He tries pulling you away, but you keep going, and going, but now Osferth is pulling a little harder, "Y/N, please-"

And just as Osferth is about to tell you to stop, Finan starts to gasp for air and your heart can beat again, "God, thank you," you cry as you pull Finan close to you, taking off the cloak he gave you in the night and putting it back around his body. He's breathing lightly, but he's breathing so that's good enough for now, "You're okay, Finan, you're okay." He lifts his hand up to grab yours and you place a kiss on the top of his head.

“It seems your God is with us, Osferth,” Sihtric chuckles from behind them, making you and Osferth look back at him with a smile.

“We need to get out of this cave,” Osferth smiles, patting your shoulder as he rises to his feet.

“Why, when you’ve seemed to have made it home?” The voice from behind you has you all turning heads, a shocked and pleased look on your faces when you see Lord Uhtred has found you, “Y/N, what have you done to my men? They look awful.”

You laugh in relief at the sight of him. It seems all the Gods have heard your prayer.

------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------

You all get home to Coccham in one piece, and you’ve never been happier to see your little home in your whole life. They leave Finan with you so you can watch him recover, and you do not mind giving the Irishman your bed. It’ll take him a few days to heal, and after everything that has happened, you’d prefer to keep a close watch on him. Sihtric and Ealhswith stop by to visit, partially so you check on Sihtric and partially so Ealthswith can thank you with meals for bringing her husband home.

Osferth and Lord Uhtred stop by as well. Finan isn’t always awake so they usually sit by his side for a while. Osferth prays and you think Uhtred might too.

You are cooking dinner one evening when you hear movement in your bedroom, and the sound of something falling over. You immediately rush to the other room to find that Finan is trying to sit up, and has knocked a cup of water to the floor.

“What do you think you're doing?” You giggle as he leans back down, feeling grateful to see him awake.

“If you wanted me in your bed, Y/N, you only needed to ask,” Finan jokes as you walk closer to him, sitting at the edge of the bed, “What happened?”

“You’re a fool, that’s what happened,” You tell him as you put your hand to his forehead and he is no longer burning, which is good, “You had a fever, almost froze to death,” Your smile fades as you take a deep breath, “I thought I lost you for a moment…”

“A fever?” He questioned, looking generally lost, “I don’t remember a fever,” He reaches out and takes your hand, gently rubbing your knuckles, “But I do remember some things. You were going to tell me something, were you not?”

You smile and lean down to kiss his forehead, “I’ll tell you when you're out of this bed.”

Finan laughs, using his other hand to reach out and hold you close from your neck, “Will you now?”

“You have promises you have to make good on first,” Your smirk as you lean in closer.

“Oh and I plan on making good of them, Y/N,” Finan tells you in a low voice that makes you squirm.

You chuckle as you lean in even closer, “God is good.”

“Aye,” He smirks as he hovers over your lips, “Praise him.”

Oh, you do. You thank him later that night in bed as you ride him and Finan makes good on his promise to warm you. A bed that Finan ends up never leaving and now you share together. You praise him on your wedding day, and multiple times on your wedding night. You praise him a few months later when you find yourself pregnant with your firstborn, and again when you give birth to your first son. You thank God for every child you have after, and every moment with this family of yours; made and found, that you decided to stay in Coccham and make it your home.

You thank God, all the Gods, for every moment they bless you with.

Even once your husband passes on.

And one day, when you're old, tired, and lying in the grass surrounded by the ones you love most you thank him one last time; before you go, for blessing you with such a life.

Grateful to go out under the heat sun, taking in the world one last time.