#but I don't think he would place any value on being male outside of that --he wouldn't even know he's supposed to or what that involves

[rawliverandcigarettes]

just realized never explicitely mentioned it in here I think, but my oc Shlee is very much nonbinary. like he just never really had time/community to process what it would mean for him specifically, how that would inform the way he'd like the world to perceive him or his gender presentation or whatnot, but shlee's experience of being alive is Absolutely (and inescapably) genderqueer. How could it not be.

[etirabys]

I've been absent from tumblr for nine days because I was in Philly for a 800 person twitter con (whose constituents roughly map onto the rationalist tumblr diaspora, culturally). I was tweeting up a storm in conjunction with meeting twitter people irl and barely checked tumblr.

The con itself stretched over a long weekend, but I arrived four days early for preparties and stayed two days for postparties. I am on the plane right now, returning home. I got about twelve weeks of normal socializing in nine days. In the last four days I was taking small amounts of Ritalin to get through the day. That sounds bad, but that's how much I valued talking to weird internet people and having unique interactions that you cannot have outside of festivals.

The last iteration of this con last year had 300 attendees. At the time, I had 180 twitter followers, mostly from the times tumblr melted down and everyone including me advertised where they were elsewhere, as insurance. I munchkinned the hell out of socializing at the first con, got an additional 100 active followers that provided enough attention for a self-sustaining poasting reaction, and am at 2500 now.

I'm approximately the same person on twitter that I am on tumblr, except I don't post my erotica (my twitter followers skew more heavily male, so I'm less willing to be sexual) and I'm more strategic about seeking clout. I like to think I stay away from the clout-chasing things I find really gross (like having takes about politics nonstop, or starting beef), but I currently treat getting twitter followers as an enjoyable game.

It's nice to have a place where I'm explicitly seeking power, as it is nice to have a place (here on tumblr) where I'm explicitly not. My tentative plan is to hit 10-20K and then push the "trying" lever to off. I know a number of "microcelebrities" who get no stalkers or murder threats, but can go to just about any major city and have a place to crash, or people to show them around. That is what I want for myself.

I explain this not very flattering thing as context for what the con was like for me.

Most of the time, I exist socially the way most people do – avoiding risks and being discreet with dissent to keep the peace. I think people go to events like this one or Burning Man to get a freaking break from having to do this – as long as the con is full of reasonably mature and interesting people, the atmosphere becomes wonderful when they coordinate to drop the pretense for a week. I ran into a person who had a bad interaction with my acquaintance a few years ago, and told him I thought poorly of his actions but wanted to hear his side of the story. (The ensuing interaction was illuminating and pleasant.) A guy came up to me and observed that he'd made several conversational bids this year and last year, I had seemed to dislike this every time, and asked if I would prefer he never approach me again. We proceeded to have an extremely autistic debugging conversation, in front of several of his friends, about whether we should speak again in the future. (The solution: yes, he can try again, but pick a question from Askhole – don't inflict small talk on me.) I ran up to Famously Evil-Alien-Vibes-Having Economist Robin Hanson and said, "I have nothing to say to you in particular, but I find you interesting and I want to hang out," and then we argued for an hour about the fertility crisis. After asking for blessing to say something negative, I told a blogger whose blog post that I'd otherwise really liked that there had been one aspect that I found disingenuous. We had a good back and forth after I said this.

What I found so addictive about this con is that my popularity-seeking drive and my honesty-seeking drive – both of which I somewhat repress most of the time – were not only expressible, but in harmony. It is quite inappropriate to be super open and openly autistic in most social contexts. Here, I could say exactly what I meant, and as long as I delivered it in the right way, people would like me for it. The conversation where the guy started with "You don't seem to like me, should I never talk to you again?" should by most predictive measures have been awkward and unpleasant – but I got the sense, steadily, that he (and his friend who eventually joined in) liked me for how I was responding to him. All I had to do was, literally, just say what I really thought, and it somehow all worked out.

[spoiler-alert-andabunchofnumbers]

Look, I love the Castlevania series and the Netflix adaptation made 3 great seasons ("Um there are 4 seasons" LIKE I SAID, 3 GREAT SEASONS), but we have got to talk about how disappointing it is that the main trio never met or even knew the existence of Hector and Isaac - or honestly, that entire half of the plot. I will forever find it weird that the show set up two related but never intersecting plot threads (and arguably a third, go figure during the worst season).

It's sweet and empowering that both of them found their own ways to live before and after Dracula's death, with Isaac being a total badass and even progressing to a better person despite seeing how unfair, cruel, and rude the world is - to the point that he defeats Carmilla not JUST because she was partly responsible for Dracula's death but because he actually wanted to make the world a better place. But even though Isaac could arguably be founding an entire empire and generation of peace, he and Hector don't even seem to know about Alucard's existence or contributions, let alone Trevor and Sypha.

We can debate Hector and Lenore's fucked up relationship all day, but in the end the two of them DID end up bonding through all the lies and deceit. They were able to actually talk to one another and have the other listen; in the end, both of them were just born in different worlds on different sides. Lenore genuinely seemed to want to settle things peacefully, but she got left behind in a world that valued only overwhelming strength; she decides she can't live as a prisoner even though Hector was no doubt stronger than her for enduring his own imprisonment and subjugation, but I think Lenore was already on her way to losing herself. Despite what she did to Hector, she wanted to at least believe she understood him; even though she was a sympathetic vampire, she still believed knowing enough to control someone was the only way they could be friends - so when it turns out Hector was plotting the downfall of Carmilla and her buddies, unfortunate Lenore had to be betrayed as well. Even if Hector wanted her to live, she was a living contradiction. A vampire who is physically very strong and intimidating, but a woman who other male vampires have looked down upon, and even male humans. A creature who feeds on humans, but one who wants to settle things peacefully. She absolutely had a role in Carmilla's gang of women just surviving, but in Carmilla's mad conquest, she was useless at best and a hindrance at worst.

In the end, Lenore was one of the few vampires that might have been sympathetic to the human side of the argument, but she physically couldn't live like that. I believed Lenore genuinely wasn't capable of turning her whole worldview upside down and aiding humanity in any way - being beneath them. Dracula opened himself up to one human and it destroyed him; he saved Hector and Isaac, but he also sacrificed himself and forced Isaac away, that was the extent of his personal affairs with them. I think it's fundamentally difficult for vampires to adopt human ideologies and empathy, making Alucard the only vampire ally we really have in the series - because he's only half. Unlike Alucard, she is a full vampire. She has a divide that she can't just bridge like he can.

Imagine if Alucard got to meet the only other humans beside his mother who genuinely looked up to and cared about his father. What would Isaac and Hector have to say to the son of the man they had admired and then lost as well? Imagine Alucard meeting another human who may have even fallen in love with a vampire, but who understands how far their worlds pulled each other apart. Or maybe Sypha can relate to having her eyes opened to a world outside her Speaker family. Imagine a discussion with Lenore about what it means to be caught between wanting to make peace with humans and knowing how much harm they cause - her actually getting a sympathetic vampire perspective from someone like Alucard who wouldn't look down on her.

Imagine the tension that could come from Trevor meeting a Forgemaster, Isaac trying to explain his control over Night Creatures and his ability to even make them fight for a sympathetic cause. Both Isaac and Trevor have experience being the outcasts, understanding how awful humans can be, but they both found their way to still fighting for the right thing. Trevor understands why killing Dracula's wife would make him want to purge the world in retribution, but he still knows humans are worth fighting for. Isaac fully abandoned his faith in humanity and believed in Dracula completely, and even THEN he managed to find the good amongst the rabble. Is it right to make Night Creatures from the dead, even if they were bad people? Even if it's to champion a good cause? Even if Hector and Isaac have full control over them without a potential for any sort of rebellion?

What I'm saying is, I love the idea of a new Castlevania series, but nothing will beat the OG season 1 and 2, and season 3 should have been answering questions and tying up loose ends - not going off on at least 3, 4 tangents that were just meant to come out of nowhere and make things shitty again after our happy ending and I guess they're kinda related but not really, so now we can fix the new shitty stuff and have ANOTHER happy ending and avoid showing anything resembling resolutions, just teaser after teaser for the fanfics to finish up.

Anyway so I'm going to the fanfics and if I don't come back, tell the Final Fantasy rants I love them-

[fakecrfan]

Tolkien thoughts today

The important think about LOTR that most people don't know is that Tolkien was trying to re-create what he believed the mythos of ancient Britain might have been like. This is because Britain is kind of devoid of folkloric culture (outside of Beowulf, iirc). King Arthur and the Arthurian legends are actually Welsh legends, believe it or not. Which most people don't know but a scholar like Tolkien did.

So Tolkien was trying to re-create a mythology. And I think he failed.

This is because real mythology is flexible. It is told and retold and changed over time. It doesn't belong to any one entity but to everyone in the associated culture. If you read any mythology you learn there are different versions based on the time and context of the telling. Baldr can be a loving compassionate figure in one telling and an absolute jerk in an earlier one. Guinevere can be a pure and saintly woman faithful in spite of her heart being elsewhere in one version, and then can be evil slutty mcslut in the next version. Aphrodite can be Zeus's daughter in one version and then be born from Ouranos's dick being cut off and thrown into the ocean in another version. And neither version is more correct, or more of a bastardization than the other. Because the nature of mythology is to grow and evolve with the people it lives with.

Tolkien's body of work does not create a mythology. I've been thinking of this ever since I saw all of those people crying at the shitty Amazon series. Especially the cries that the shitty series polluted or defiled the original work in some way. Because if Tolkien had created a mythology, none of that could possibly be true! If the Silmarillion were a mythology, then a shitty series could just be an annoying footnote. It wouldn't matter if one telling got Galadriel "wrong" because you'd have thousands of years and dozens of versions of Galadriel being exactly what the people remember.

But LOTR and the Silmarillion are not that. They are not mythology, but a fragile set of stories created by an individual that require rigid adherence to the vision of one man lest they lose their power. They are stories that are owned, by an estate and now by megacorporations that get to determine what these stories are. In fact, it is impossible in the world LOTR and Silmilarillion have come into for them to be mythology. When Amazon makes Galadriel this or that people can't just dismiss it as a wrongful portrayal--because Amazon owning the stories means that whatever they say Galadriel is, is what she is. No other "legitimate" story about her can be told, no widespread folkloric consensus on who she is can come about, because they own the IP.

And I think this fragile, narrow nature of the stories existed even before Amazon got a hold of them. Because the individual-created nature of the stories means they reflect the values of the author and his time and place more than any set of myths could. LOTR reflects some aspects of mythology, but it is far, far more sanitized and normalized to the tastes of 1940s Britain than any real mythology ever has been. There is no cutting off dicks and goddesses springing forth out of them. There are no male gods turning into female horses and getting pregnant. It's a narrow reflection of the breadth of what true folklore portrays, because in the only "true form" any fan would accept, it can only ever reflect the philosophy of one man.

Tolkien failed. He could never re-create mythology. He could only ever create a rigid vision that diminishes in value the more people change or add to it. He could only create a product that can be owned and gatekept and milked by a commercialized culture. Because no one person can create a mythology. Mythology is created by the people, it grows and changes with those people as generations come and go, and no one entity can ever have a monopoly on it.

[loominggaia]

(NSFW) Question: Cursed thought but which of the male FGG members are circumcised and which are not?

That's a really interesting question, because it made me think about the prevalence of circumcision on Looming Gaia in general. It's such a bizarre practice in real life, I just can't see it being as prevalent as it is in the real world. In the World of Looming Gaia, I imagine it's a more niche thing that only occurs in some regions, either for medical, practical, or cultural reasons.

In the real world, the practice of circumcision originates mostly from hot regions like Africa, South Asia, South America, and Polynesia. I assume there's some practical reason for that; maybe more sweating leads to more infections, and circumcision prevents more problems down in the road in these cases? I can't find much literature about this, it's just a guess on my part.

I imagine the quality of local medical care can also a big factor on whether people get circumcised or not. Their place in society, their wealth, and their relationship with their family are factors too.

So, with all that taken into account...

Lukas, Balthazaar, and Skel are most likely to be circumcised. All three of them hail from very hot, sweaty regions. They all had rich or middle class upbringings and access to quality medical care. In Lukas' case, it may be a matter of class, that noblemen are circumcised to separate them from the peasants--who don't always have access to such a thing. It's considered a mark of wealth and refinement.

In Balthazaar's case, it's probably a practical matter. The Rodangese are mostly blue collar folk who work outside in arid conditions all day long, and circumcising their boys might prevent skin infections down the road, so it's considered a worthwhile investment.

As for Skel, I imagine it was a practical matter as well. He was a slave boy and his masters believed it would prevent hygiene issues, and therefore less "maintenance" on their part. But also, they may have thought it would tame his sex drive later in life, because they realized he'd be alone with their daughters a lot.

Actually now that I think about it, Skel is probably more than circumcised...there's a pretty good chance he's a eunuch! Obviously the Barhatian royal family wasn't worried about him getting their elven daughters pregnant, but I imagine they'd take some kind of measure to discourage sexual activity between them. In this case, they would have neutered him shortly after puberty--either surgically or chemically, in addition to circumcision.

(Well the joke's on them, because it didn't discourage anything lol. Jasenia obviously had no issues with whatever he had going on down there.)

Javaan and Isaac are also from hot regions, but Javaan's mother had no means to have such a procedure done. As for Karenza...why would she spend so much time and energy lovingly crafting Isaac's body out of clay, only to destroy part of it later? The whole concept of circumcision would go against her values, I think.

Evan was born in such a fragile condition, his family never even considered it. Too risky in his case.

It's an alien concept in Glenvar's culture.

Mr. Ocean doesn't have anything to circumcise.

And Zeffer didn't have access to any legit doctors growing up, only back-alley butchers, so his mother never bothered.

I don't want this post to turn into a big debate about the ethics of circumcision because that's not really what it's about. I'm just explaining my reasoning to the best of my knowledge. Hopefully it makes at least some sense!

TL;DR: Lukas, Balthazaar, and Skel are cut kings. Skel is also a eunuch because it makes more sense and gives him more reason to be salty about the royal family's betrayal. I declare it canon!

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

[in-my-feels-probably]

Hi! Congratulations on 1,000 followers, this celebration is so creative and fun.

Can I have option two I'm sorry but I couldn't choose between the three, you can choose if you'd like, I won't mind if you don't do all three. Male, romantic ships for Grishaverse, Harry Potter (lighting era), and Outer Banks, please.

I'm a straight female and I'm an ambivert, I can be pretty outgoing but I do need my alone time at the end of the day before going to sleep. I have anxiety and dyscalculia (which is a learning disability in math) and seasonal depression in the winter. I am a huge bookworm and I'm very close with my family. I love being outside, something about it just soothes my soul so I like to spend as much time outdoors as possible. I love archery, tennis, and going on hikes/long walks. I love photography and I take a ton of photos of my family and friends, I am a major hopeless romantic as well. I love self-care and I have a self-care night every Sunday, pulling all the stops. I have never traveled very far from my home state (in the US) but I want to see Europe and certain places in the US. My favorite place is the front porch steps of my house, I'll sit there any chance I get. My favorite book is probably the first book in the Inheritance Games series. My favorite artists are Taylor Swift and Kelsea Ballerini. I'm a very curious person and my Google history reflects that perfectly, I also love art but I cannot draw for the life of me, I want to learn to play the keyboard soon. My nails are always painted in bright colors and I love cooking and baking. I can be blunt at times and hurt people's feelings without meaning to, I talk without thinking often. I love having deep conversations and laughing.

If you do Outerbanks, please don't choose John B or JJ. Both of them look like they never shower and I just cannot get over it.

hi!

thanks for participating :)

I'll tell you out of all three fandoms which character i shipe you with, and then do the full thing for who i think you're best suited for.

i ship you with pope, nikolai, and neville! i'm gonna go with pope for this, hope that's alright.

i'd consider pope an ambivert too. he can carry a conversation and do well in a group setting, but i think his social battery isn't as big as the rest of the groups. he needs his time alone to recharge, and i think he'd enjoy doing that with you. i think he gets anxious too, and would really understand how your anxiety can be hard for you. he''s got a lot of pressures and burdens weighing on him, and would know how suffocating that feeling could be. he'd do anything he could to make you feel more comfortable. seasonal depression gets him too, and he'd really appreciate that you could find comfort in each other.

pope is very good academically. he'd see how your learning disability frustrated you, and help in any way he could to make you feel more confident with your academics. math probably comes easy to him, so it would be no issue helping you study. plus, he likes spending one on one time with you, and its an excuse to be with you longer. o'd consider himn to be a very curious person to. he'd be one of the few people you know actually fascinated by school, and he'd ike the fact that you're curious about random things too.

i know they live in obx, but i'm not entirely convinced pope likes the beach. he defintiely likes the outdoors, like being on a boat, but beyond surfing, i don't think he'd find much comfort at the beach. he'd rather spend the time with you, going for walks. he's also more than content to sit on the porch wiith you, or at the chateau.

i think pope wants to travel. he loves his family and would value that you love yours, but hes always with them. going to college and seeing more of the world would be one of his dreams, and he'd want to do it with you.

i think pope's love language is quality time and acts of service. after stressful days, he'd want nothing more than to unwind with you. he's all for a selfcare day. he'd come over and sit with you, content to do whatever you wanted.

you'd be brushing on a face mask for him, yours already on. he'd smile to himself as he watched your look of concentration.

"how was your day?" he'd ask.

you'd shrug, distracted. "it was fine. how was yours?"

"it was fine. it's getting a lot better now."

you'd fight the flush creeping to your cheeks, shaking your head. "yeah? why's that?"

he'd ignore your question, refusing to give you the satisfaction of his answer. "i've got a new book for you. i finished it a few days ago, i think you'll really like it."

you'd smile, continuing to paint his mask on. "let me finish here and you can tell me about it. ok?"

he'd smile, already feeling his stress melt away. "ok, love."

--

sorry for the wait! thank you again for participating :)

[papirouge]

i'm pro life but i also feel like i have difficulty reconcilling that with the reality of things.

i wish there was a way to make it so that both responsible parties were forced to take responsibility, and not just the women. a lot of men impregnate and then run, which is why i don't value guys' opinions on pro-life/pro-abort things at all. most pro-abort guys don't want to take responsibility; and most pro-life guys act as if it's a woman's fault she got pregnant in the first place. i get how it works for people who remain celibate until marriage, but there are pro-life men going out there to ejaculate in women and then being upset that if anything happens she'll have an abortion?

there was this bad tiktok of a woman crying because she found out she'd hooked up with a prolife guy and everyone was saying she was overreacting (and she was) but i was also thinking .. if he's pro-life why is he having sex with women outside of marriage? is this guy going to actually take care of all the children he might create? probably not

Abortion is actually the only resort putting all responsability on the pregnant woman since she is the one to bear with the procedure. Keeping a baby asks infinitely more commitment than popping a pill or paying a medical bill. It gives more "woman" if she decides to abort (as men can't oppose the abortion if the mother - i.e the video of that crying man before an abortion clinic) but if she actually decides to keep the baby, the existence of abortion makes the father capable to stay it was her decision to keep it and withdraw from his parenting rights. In the end, women are losing.

I agree some pro life men are quite hypocrite in their position (I already told some of them had a weird fulfilment in trying to keep women 'at their place' without trying to remotely understand the socioeconomic reasons behind women resortinc to abortion) but pro lifers fight for the unborn - not against male hypocrites. Our fight isn't primary male focused.

The pro life movement is very diverse and I am myself do not necessarily aligns with everyone sharing that position, but I don't care. Why? Because defending the unborn is more important than what I or anyone thinks about individuals supporting this cause.

And belng pro life isn't mutually exclusive to having hook ups. Some pro life men are sexually active while unmarried - it doesn't necessarily mean they will drop their gf once she gets impregnated. I wish there were statistics to evaluate whether pro life men are more prone to casual sex to set some facts straight.

Pro choicers entertain that narrative that every pro life man is an hypocrite and #nouterusnoopinion, but in the same time will stay deafeningly silent about the horde of deadbeat bro choicers who are fighting to reinforce abortion access to NEVER take accountability for their reckless sexual life.. like, you can't be mad at pro life men and call them hypocrite and not say a thing about your male ally who'll throw their gf under the abortion bus to avoid any responsibility in their entitlement to sex..... Unlike popular belief, men aren't dumb like that, and a man who would never accet taking of a care a child will surely NOT try to defend policies restricting the access to abortion. This is a total contraction.

[meddlecine]

Trauma call.

Content warning: this post discusses suicide.

I stood nervously in the corner of the trauma bay, a giant sticker spelling 'observer' plastered across my chest. Friday night in the emergency department. I'd been in the ED for one week now, and had so far successfully avoided being mistaken for someone who actually knows what they're doing. Can I perform different clinical exams? Sure. Can I interpret the signs and make a diagnosis? Absolutely not. Sprinkle in an emergency and life-threatening situation and you have yourself a one-way ticket to heaven (or hell), my friend. Heaven for the patient, hell for me, that is.

"Trauma call arriving," someone began, "35 year old male 'AJ' jumped off a 15 meter bridge, attempted suicide. Airway patent, he's hypotensive and tachycardic, we've so far administered..." they continued to list off his vitals and the intervention and pain relief he'd had so far. How can anyone possibly take in all of this information and then figure out what to do with it? These scenarios were far more fast-paced than the cruisey, hand-held 'simulations' we undertook in the pretend ward room. There, we had the luxury of time (and knowing we couldn't really kill anyone): we could pause, think, take time to discuss, backtrack if we needed to. Here? Not anymore. This was a real person, with real time constraints, and very real injuries. I found myself taking a small shuffle back. The trauma bay was filling up with people far more qualified than me, and I was becoming very aware that I was taking up valuable space. Here to learn? Yes. But right now, my priority was staying well out of the way.

I mentally snapped myself back into the room as the staff held AJ's head firmly in place in the C-spine collar, discussing his airway and options for resuscitation.

"Don't worry about my airway! Just let me die!" he cried out. I bit my lip. This guy was just a few years older than me. He kept echoing his desperation to die, how he didn't need to be resuscitated, how he just didn't want to exist. "Life is shit, I want to die, life is shit, life is shit," he kept repeating over, and over, and over. The pain in his voice was haunting. I can still hear it to this day.

"We're not going to let you die, mate, we're not going to do that" someone said, gently rubbing his shoulder, "we're here to help you."

From my corner in the trauma bay, I looked at AJ and felt a mixture of confusion and surprise. I guess I thought that someone who jumped off such a height would look... worse? That they'd be deformed or 'obviously' injured in some way. AJ looked distressed, of course, but had no cuts, bruises, or obvious bleeds. But that didn't mean that there wasn't damage to his internal organs.

Once the trauma team had been through their ABCDE (a protocol used in emergencies to help stabilise a patient), AJ was sedated and wheeled off to imaging to work out the extent of his internal injuries. I stood outside the CT room with the surgical team, who were making the value of their time known with constant sighs and ongoing running commentary. I dared not ask any questions about the body parts appearing on the screen.

"Oh my god, why are they so obsessed with the lower limbs?" one surgeon complained as the radiographers moved the images across the legs, "Just show us what's going on in the abdomen already!" Their exasperated comments, unsurprisingly, did precisely nothing to speed up the process. A few more minutes passed, their impatience rising like hot steam (which was almost coming out of his ears at this point). "We just need to know if we need to take him to theatre or not. This is taking f o r e v e r" he growled, rubbing his temples. Eventually, to the satisfaction of the very impatient doctors, they got the all clear that there was no internal bleeding. The surgical team scurried off into the night, just as quickly as they appeared.

Shockingly (and surprisingly), AJ had sustained just two fractures: one in his back, and one in his leg. He'd make a good recovery. But his ankle was dislocated and would need to be popped back into place.

"You're the med student, yeah?" a voice asked. I looked up.

"I, um, yeah I am..." I hesitantly began.

"Want to put that ankle back into place?" he asked. I grinned. I followed the doctor back down to the trauma bay and he showed me how to hold the big toe and lift it up, explaining that he'd help hold other parts of AJ's leg to keep everything in place.

"Alright, on 3" he started counting. One, two... I braced myself and tightened my grip on AJ's toe, "three!". I yanked the two up whilst the registrar held his leg in place. No pop. No crack. Nothing. Was I not strong enough? (I should go to the gym more, I've been saying...)

"Did it work?" I asked.

"Great job," he said, "You got it."

Z, I learned his name, was a kind emergency registrar who took me under his wing that evening, "I figure if you're here at," he glanced at his watch, "midnight on a Friday night, you're probably pretty keen and interested." He was mostly right. It's true, I had been looking forward to my emergency rotation all year; partly because it's where all the 'action' is, and also because I could attend placement at hours that were far more accustomed to my body clock. A midnight shift? You got it. 7am ward rounds for surgery rotations? Torture.

I followed Z around, and he'd send me off to patients to grab a quick history and listen to me as I presented back to him. Any opportunity to teach, he'd take. As a student, when you find doctors like this, you stick to them like toffee in your hair. It was almost 1am and we'd decided to go and see one more patient together before I headed home.

JR was a middle-aged woman who'd come in with abdominal pain and feeling terribly poorly. I watched with curiosity as Z took the reins, crouching down by the patient's chair and listening with a genuine curiosity that I'd not yet seen in the emergency department. He'd ticked off all of the standard questions: when did it start, what does it feel like, how bad is the pain, have you noticed anything else, etc. That's where, so far, most people had stopped. But Z kept chatting with her.

"Who's at home with you?" he asked her.

"Just my son and I," she replied, "My husband is fly-in, fly-out... I only see him every 6 weeks." Z nodded in a way that suggested he genuinely cared about JR's answers. She took a deep breath and paused.

"Plus my son is special needs," she added quietly, taking another deep breath.

"That must be really hard," Z gently responded. JR nodded, twisting a tissue in between her fingers. "How have things been lately?"

JR began sobbing.

She'd had a workplace incident, was suffering psychologically, and was now struggling to care for her son. JR came in with abdominal pain, but clearly had so much else going on. Z's kindness, compassion, and empathy was so terribly moving. Did his consult take a few extra minutes? Of course it did. Was it directly relevant to the abdominal pain? Not necessarily. But both myself and this lady knew that it was because Z deeply cared about his patients. It was clear that he gained a beautiful insight into his patients' lives, even if he might never see them again, and could shape their care in a way that's beyond just the 'presenting complaint'. JR expressed her profound gratitude for Z's time and comfort. I told myself in that moment to never, ever, just see the presenting complaint.

As for AJ and the trauma call? Well, it's been a few months since this night took place. He got the help that he needs and is doing remarkably well, and is so, so grateful to be alive.

In the end, it all comes down to treating the whole patient.

[cienie-isengardu]

Not only do I not regret asking you to "RELEASE THE RAMBLES!", I'm sending you requests for more. Below is a list of questions that I asked @bihansthot , and enjoyed their answers, but because you are so thorough, and answer in such depth, I'm re-asking them to you.

Brace yourself, it's a list. I didnt have time to sort thru them, I just copied and pasted, so if any are questions you already answered before, please feel free to include the links.

"LET US BEGIN!"

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In the spirit of potential future writing,  I'm trying to find a building that  would make a good substitution for Lin Kuei temple.

I've tried looking up ancient Chinese military barracks/forts, and have found some stuff,  but is all exterior.  Anyone know of any locations (or several I can cobble together) that would make good inspiration fodder?

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So, uhm, religion? What's the Lin Kuei's take on that one? I know they are aware of Gods, they team up with/ encounter Raiden all the time,  and have literally worked for/against Shinook, so I know they recognize higher powers... but I  guess the question is,  do they care?

Do they have a religion,  or spiritual practice that resembles religion? Or do they have a more practical approach "gods exist,  but we just consider them very strong people"?

Which segues into... do they recognize and participate in holidays, or things like birthdays? Or are all their celebrations work related (I.E. successful missions or levels of combat mastery)?

---------------------------------------------

Food.  What foods do they normally eat? What foods do they like?  What foods don't they like? What foods do they absolutely love so much they'll stop what they're doing to get it?

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If you had to match the Lin Kuei with a dynasty,  what one would it be? (I know the 2021 movie has the opening in the Ming dynasty, so the Lin Kuei is at least that old,  but given that movie Bi Han hasn't aged in 400 years, and was taken is a child,  its probably much older) (and also know the game probably cherry picked random Chinese things it liked).

What do you think the Lin Kuei's view on artistic culture (probably not the right word) is? I know they are heavily militaristic,  but in the game,  Kuai Liang offers Hanzo tea and he properly prepares it the Japanese way, that says they have something of an education other than just related to fighting?

Lastly,  in the movie,  everything Bi Han does is "for the Lin Kuei", but the Lin Kuei is on Earth (assumedly),  and he is working for a guy who wants to enslave Earth, so what do you think the deal is?

---------------------------------------------

Question about the Cryomancers. I know the game lore says that they are supposed to be rare, but I also know that the Lin Kuei have had at least 5 (grandpa, papa, older, and younger Sub Zero,  and Frost). 4 of which are part of 3 generations that inherited it even with mixed blood (I'm assuming Mama Sub Zero wasn't Cryomancer since they left her alone).

That's a lot of generations in a row for a rare trait... So do you think the Cryomancers as a group have figured out they're being hunted and have chosen to live in hiding?

---------------------------------------------

Lin Kuei society question? I like writing so I also like world building and I think about these things.

Is Lin Kuei society ever covered? I know there is a Grandmaster, a handful master assassins (Sub Zero's, Sektor, Cyrax, etc) and the  movies always have a bunch canon fodder lesser assassins.

And they live in the very isolated Lin Kuei Palace/Temple in Arktika (or wherever it used to be)

But is Lin Kuei (we'll call it "village") ever covered?   Do they have willing servants, kidnapped slaves, or a mix of both? Are there women (non fighter women,  I know there's Frost) or do they employ strictly male help? If there are women, what's their role, and are there children born there? What about Elderly? What about resources,  is everything (from food, clothes, weapons, and the raw materials to create them) grown or manufactured on sight by skilled laborers or do they import/interact with the outside world? How vicious or civil is this society, could you be killed for looking at Sektor wrong or do they value your services to a degree? What's the degree? This is obviously a combat culture,  but is everyone expected to know martial arts of some variety, is it optional, or do they prohibit it among the servants/slaves? How strict are they on things like clothing, food, alcohol,  drugs, "luxuries", or pleasures? Money? If they interact with the world do they recognize and use $$ currency, commodity currency, or a mixture? Internally are the Lin Kuei payed or just provided for? What about illness or injury,  if you're not a master and it a serious injury/illness are you taken care of or do they just give you a quick death?

Etc. That's all the questions I can think of,  but please feel free to answer questions I didn't ask,  if you think of anything else.

Thank you for this wonderful list to talk about! I’m gonna split the answer into smaller parts, for better focusing on each aspect but also so I don’t feel bad for keeping you waiting for ages, lol. For now let’s focus on asks about the religion!

So good questions! I do think they have some spiritual practice(s) because in martial arts the state of a mind is as important as the physical body and religion is one of many ways to shape someone’s mindset from a young age. I do, however, think that Lin Kuei does not worship the gods. They are aware that the gods exist (with Raiden as the thorn in the side) and may even respect their supernatural powers and battle skills but it never has stopped Lin Kuei from desecrating holy places, murdering people and stealing stuff for the best price. So, it seems to me that whatever religion the members of the clan follow, by nature it is rooted in nontheism.

Of course, there is also a chance that Lin Kuei worships some forgotten deity or deities (as a remnant of their ancient connections with Outworld / realms conquered and destroyed by Shao Kahn?) or may even practice ancestor worship which seems like a good way to uphold a widely understood tradition that plays an important role in the discussed community.

The closest thing to religious practice was seen in Mortal Kombat X, when Sub-Zero and his warriors seemed to pray together before statue of god / deity / ancestor / legendary warrior / personalized thing they value the most (sadly, my knowledge about Asian religious practices or faiths is very limited so I don’t have idea if the statue is supposed to represent any real god/religious symbol).

At the same time, it could be just a bluff since Grandmaster was aware of Cage’s team infiltrating the Lin Kuei territory and used this moment to lure them into a trap. Additionally, Mortal Kombat X comics presented once Kuai Liang sitting before the same statue albeit in a completely different (devoid of reverence?) position.

Of course, if we take into account Mortal Kombat Armageddon, the game states that Lin Kuei Temple placed in Arctika was actually once the Temple of Delia (the great sorceress & wife of god Argus) that at some point get abandoned and re-used by Sub-Zero’s clan.

(In the background, we can see a statue of Delia that Lin Kuei does not worship but did not remove for whatever reason. Mixing both old and new games, we can only wonder if MKX!statue is also the remnant of someone else's faith/religion?)

Beside that, Kuai Liang was pretty vocal about Lin Kuei not worshipping the Elder Gods, what was seen in MK11’s intro dialogue with Cetrion

Sub-Zero: The Lin Kuei do not worship the Elder Gods.

Cetrion: We seek gratitude, not worship.

Sub-Zero: I see no distinction.

and personally did not have any reason to pray to the goddess:

Sub-Zero: Why should I pray to you?

Cetrion: Why does a bird flap its wings?

Sub-Zero: I asked a simple question.

In all fairness, in MK11 Kuai Liang seems the most passive-aggressive toward the Elder God while Frost is focused on her ambitions and Noob!Bi-Han just wants to be left alone when bothered by Cetrion. Similar thing happens toward Raiden. Despite gratitude for saving him, Kuai Liang does not spare the god criticism (can’t serve both Elder Gods and Earthrealm, isn’t fit for his role of protector) and in MKX outright says he does not fear divine beings:

Raiden: Sub-Zero...

Sub-Zero: I fear no gods, Raiden.

Raiden': That's why you shall lose.

Surprisingly, Kuai Liang’s interaction with MK11!Fujin sounds less accusing than with Raiden and Cetrion and it is connected closely to their ties with Bi-Han. And maybe Kuai Liang did seek in the past Fujin and other elements to make a peace with them, like he planned to do so in Mortal Kombat 4 Limited comics?

"I came here to make peace with the gods of the elements that you fought [...]"

Anyway, the accusingly behaviour toward Raiden and Cetrion could be just Kuai Liang’s personal dislike for gods and serious authority issues, which makes sense considering how much he suffered because of their meddling and conflicts.

But honestly?

The available examples of Lin Kuei attitude toward gods, demigods and supernatural beings suggest how little the warriors - especially cryomancers - care for them.

Like, we have Bi-Han in Mythologies, who asked Quan Chi about details of mission:

Sub-Zero: If it's so precious, why don't you get it yourself?

Quan Chi: I cannot enter the temple until the four elements within its walls have been defeated. And I am not on the best of terms with the gods of your realm... especially your god of thunder.

Sub-Zero: Tell me about these elements.

Quan Chi outright said he and earthrealm gods weren’t friends and Bi-Han, reading between the lines, could get the idea that he may end on bad terms with Thunder God. Yet he was interested only in elements (lesser gods than protector of realm?) guarding the temple.

Then Bi-Han beat down four demigods and met a displeased Raiden after Quan Chi got the Shinnok Amulet. His reaction? No fear, like meeting an angry god was a normal occurrence.

Rayden: Do you realize what you've done??

Sub-Zero: I was just earning my living.

Rayden: Your clan's ignorance and greed will cost this entire realm. You must now set things straight.

Sub-Zero: Quan Chi could simply be a lunatic sorcerer. I've never heard of an elder god named Shinnok or of a place called the Netherrealm.

Rayden: Well, you'd better start believing in both, because you're going to the Netherrealm and you're going to bring the amulet back. We must act quickly. I have no dominion in the Netherrealm... You are reality's only hope.

Sub-Zero: I'll do it, Thunder God... but only because I have no choice.

And once he came back from Netherrealm, where he was fixing what he messed up in the first place on Raiden’s order, his abrasive attitude did not change much:

Sub-Zero: Here... the amulet.

Rayden: Impressive, Sub-Zero. Perhaps you will reconcile your reckless past after all.

Sub-Zero: That's it? Not even a thank you?

Of course, to some degree Raiden’s words did have an impact on Bi-Han but even the god’s warning about his soul tainted with evil did not stop him from coming back to Lin Kuei. Bi-Han’s attitude and/or approach to gods seems to change somehow once he was reborn as Noob, but that is a different matter for different times.

Anyway, Mythologies!Bi-Han and MK11!Noob act less aggressive toward gods than Kuai Liang. But then we have Sub-Zero from from the MK novel by Jeff Rovin, who not only is not afraid of gods but outright insult them:

“Wait! Be warned, Shang Tsung. He is cursed!”

“Cursed? By whom?”

Ruthay wailed, “By the immortal Yu.”

Shang Tsung felt cold spiders crawl up his spine. “The demigod Yu?”

“Yes… he who is said to dwell in the underground caverns of Horse Ear Mountain… which is sacred to the goddess Kuan Lin. He who protects the canals… and the tunnels… and looks after all who use them, human and animal.”

“What did our brash friend do to Yu?”

“He… killed a man,” said Ruthay.

“What man?”

“A toll-taker… one who had given up a life of crime… one who had been a partner of the man… you… seek.”

“And how did that crime come to the attention of the spirit of Yu?” Shang Tsung asked.

“The man was killed… slowly disemboweled with a sword… while accomplices forced his wife and his son to look on! After his murder… the man’s remains… were dumped into a canal!”

Shang Tsung raised an eyebrow. “Is that all? I was expecting something truly terrible!”

“It was!” Ruthay shrieked. “When he disposed of the body… in that way … he profaned one of the sacred waterways… of Yu!”

Shang Tsung smiled now. “Then he is definitely the man I want,” he said. “Anyone who is impudent enough to insult a demigod won’t be afraid to attack a member of the White Lotus Society, or the gods who watch after them. I will send Hamachi, Ruthay. When he nears his goal, see through his eyes and guide him!”

Book!Sub-Zero was impudent enough to insult a demigod which is why he was one of Shang Tsung’s favorites. And to be clear - book!Sub-Zero did not regret insulting the demigod at all. Even more! He found humor in it!:

He dwelt in a cave two hundred feet up the face of a cliff by the sea. The mouth of his home was barely wide enough to accommodate a slender adult, and was accessible only by climbing the sheer wall of rock, a feat that was impossible for most adults and daunting even to the few arachnids and marsupials that tried it.

Maybe some of them were even sent by Yu, he thought with a smirk, little assassins who would chastise me for having spilled blood in his precious canal.

The less abrasive attitude toward gods was shown by Cyrax, who talked a bit with Raiden over Bi-Han’s remains. He wasn’t outright antagonistic but wasn’t overall respectful either. He talked with Thunder God like he would talk with any other human being that wasn’t actually Scorpion. Frankly, from the named Lin Kuei only MK9!Smoke actually addressed Raiden in respectful manner, with proper bow and the name of lord

albeit did he do so because he respects the divine beings or just out of gratitude for saving him, hard to tell for sure.

So yeah, it seems like no matter what kind of timeline or age or medium of the story, Lin Kuei does not fear gods nor pray to them. And the clan has a long history of dealing with Raiden, so the Lin Kuei had first-hand experiences with supernatural beings. Somehow, cryomancers are the most impudent warriors when it comes to dealing with or criticizing the gods.

Interestingly, as much as Lin Kuei warriors don’t care for gods, most of the known to us named characters believe to have - and to care - for their own souls. Sektor and MK11!Frost embraced the Cyber Lin Kuei idea but Kuai Liang, Cyrax and Smoke were opposed to C.I. project out for concern for their souls among other things. Even Bi-Han, to some degree became concerned about his soul after trip to Netherrealm.

Believing in souls is usually a sign of belief in the afterlife, albeit after all of them went through (the change into cyborgs, death and change into Revenants) this is less a matter of faith (religion) and more first-hand experiences. And let's not forget that regularly dealing over the centuries with Shang Tsung who steals people's souls on a daily basis makes it really hard to not believe spirits are real.

Also, an interesting matter of Lin Kuei practices that could have a religious/spiritual ground and/or be an example of ancestor worship is the clan’s funeral rites. I don’t think we actually saw any Lin Kuei to bury their own (especially after warrior’s failure?) and for sure MK9!Cyrax and Sektor did not bother to take care of Bi-Han’s remains. However the sources provide examples of Lin Kuei keeping corpses, most likely of their own leaders or warriors.

And so, we could see human remains:

put in two coffins on each side of statue

hidden / kept in a block of ice(?) in chamber of Fallen Lin Kuei in which Frost’s frozen body was also laid, but on the altar

Cyrax’s cyber body was kept and guarded by Sub-Zero (and this is like the only thing that Kuai Liang and Cyber Sektor so far agreed on)

and even Cyber Sektor’s remains, even if just for pragmatic reasons, are kept in what seems to be respectful manner:

It could be just Kuai Liang’s good nature to honor fallen of his clan (I’m still not sure if Lin Kuei Palace is the new place for Sub-Zero’s clan or the ancient hideout) but even in MK Conquest TV series, after Grandmaster was killed by then-currently-Sub-Zero, there was the farewell ceremony with clothes on display (cause there was not much left of body after freezing and shattering) while new leader gave the speech promising to punish the guilty.

Which makes me think that Lin Kuei did honor their fallen warriors (especially those exceptional, deserving). Such custom and apparently common belief in soul could also support the ancestor worship - both as some ancient, mythical ancestor(s) connecting warriors into one clan (family) and tradition to follow in the footsteps of forefathers (Bi-Han taking place of his father [old timeline] or grandfather [current timeline] or Kuai Liang taking Bi-Han’s place as Sub-Zero).

My general conclusion about Lin Kuei is that its members believe in souls, have respect and use of spiritual matters (meditation?) and maybe ancestor worship. Whatever the religious / spiritual practices they have over the centuries, it is not something they will share, as the Lin Kuei by nature are secretive people who keep personal things mostly for themselves. The people that joined the clan (Cyrax and Smoke) maybe kept their old, eventual religious beliefs but overall, Lin Kuei warriors did not fear, care for nor pray to gods. They may respect god (Raiden, Fujin) as a person but not because of their divine nature. And even that would not stop them from criticizing said god. Which is pretty much how Kuai Liang and Raiden’s relationship looks like. Grandmaster is grateful to Thunder God for saving him but he won’t blindly follow his authority.

(Kuai Liang has serious authority issues, hasn't he?)

As for holidays, I can’t really see Lin Kuei to follow any specific religious (theistic) special day cause they don’t care much for gods in the first place. Unless they worked undercover and needed to act as normal human beings, religious holidays would mean nothing to them. The warriors may however celebrate their mission success, combat mastery or promotion between themselves or in secret, I think. Like, Lin Kuei did forbid friendship because it was considered warrior’s flaw yet we know some members either were blood-related (Kuai Liang, Bi-Han, previous Sub-Zero - father or grandfather, depending on which timeline is correct) or considered each other a family (Kuai Liang and Tomas Vrbada) and most named characters worked in duos so they have both opportunity and knowledge about each other to celebrate important matters. If they managed to remember anything from previous life, that is. Because from ancient to at least Great Kung Lao’s times most(?) adepts were kidnapped from biological families at a really young age (something around 6 years old). And Mythologies: Sub-Zero takes that even further:

Its warriors are chosen at birth to be raised apart from the workings of day to day civilization and are stripped of their former lives. Only the clan knows their existence. Each of them posses certain skills and abilities that set them apart from normal men. These abilities are passed on from generation to generation and honed throughout the experiences of life.

So, celebrating birthdays doesn’t sound like happening much, unless those with family around could allow themselves such luxury. The clan may however celebrate the day of becoming a fully trained and sworn warrior? Or the fallen warriors? Who knows.

Also, something worth thinking about: in Mortal Kombat Conquest TV series, when the Grandmaster presented newly appointed Sub-Zero to the rest of the clan, he “celebrated” the cryomancer's first official performance as the execution of two men who failed their mission. So, yeah, celebration of something special in (old) Lin Kuei does not necessarily mean anything nice.

(The next part of answer most likely will be focused either on food or architecture / origin of Lin Kuei. Let's hope I will get it written sooner than later)

<><> EDIT <><>

RELIGION <> ORIGINS / ARCHITECTURE <> FOOD <> FOR THE LIN KUEI <> ART <> CRYOMANCERS <> LIN KUEI SOCIETY <> MONEY & MATERIAL GOODS

[extraintrovertedalien]

Brave face, talk so lightly(hide the truth)

'All my life, I've just wanted to make things easier for them.'

Au August

Day/Prompt: Day 26 - Soulmate

Ship: Prinxiety, brief logicality, creativitwins

Word count: 3k (I'm so sorry I got carried away)

Cw: swearing / brief murder mention / implied death / crying / nightmares(?) / anxiety mention / caps / claustrophobia(?)

A/N: the prompt is your dreams are your soulmate's memories. The title is from the song "Sick of losing soulmates" by dodie. I wrote the first 1/4 of this a few days ago and the rest in one sitting and I couldn't care less about proofreading it so Im so sorry if there are any mistakes ;-;

@tsshipmonth2020

I see a girl in the distance. She has her back turned. Long chocolate-colored hair tied in a low messy bun. My hand is reaching out to her. I feel this sudden longing to be held by this woman. Craving her caring and loving words. Telling me that everything is going to be alright.

Wait. Why is she getting farther away?

She looks back at me with a sad smile. Everything gets dark. I let my eyes stray from her to look around. When was I in a hospital corridor?

"I'm sorry, Pumpkin. You're gonna have to continue our adventure without me. But, fear not, Little one. I'll always be there by you. You just gotta learn to know where I am,"

She caresses my cheek, giving me the warmest smile I have ever received.

She's gone, suddenly. I touch my cheek, still feeling the ghost of her warm touch. Along with… something wet? Am- Am I crying?

"Roman!"

I don't move. I feel stuck. But, also free, somehow. Just unsure of what to do, I guess?

"Roman! Wake up. You idiot!

"Roman!

"Oh, thank all things unholy! I thought someone was in our room, trying to murder us! You were crying, and- and whispering stuff! And it's creeping me the fuck out! And I'm not easily creeped out, you know that" Remus exclaimed as he sat on Roman's chest, grabbing his twin’s shoulders.

"Man, you're soulmate must have some twisted memories," He continued, getting off of Roman and returning to his own bed across the room.

'Yeah. Twisted…' Roman thought.

~*~*~

"You okay there, Sweetie?" Roman heard from where his head was buried on the kitchen counter. "Yeah... Just thinking about my soulmate again," he admitted.

"Another bad dream?" His mom inquired as she sat next to Roman, patting his back. "It's not just that. It's about the move. Like, we're never really sure which of our memories they see, right? But, they've seen all my memories from this place. Like, they know where I've been my entire life…" he trailed off.

"I'm just not sure how they would feel seeing a whole new different place… They don't seem to be in a place to experience a big change right now. All my life, I've just wanted to make things easier for them. And, yeah, my dreams don't really change that much. But, I make an effort, y'know?" Roman looked up at his mom to seek at least some kind of reassurance.

"I understand what you mean, and I think that what you're doing is great. And I know that you're gonna be the bestest thing that's ever gonna happen to them. But, I'm really sorry. We don't really have any choice with this move. I know your soulmate is in a dark place right now, but you can't always do everything for them. You're also your own person," His mom hugged him.

Roman felt like he was hopeless in this situation. And, he was always hoping for the best. For his soulmate or otherwise. Maybe his mom was right about putting himself first sometimes.

~*~*~

Virgil was in his first period when someone he didn't expect to walk into his classroom… walks into his classroom… They were wearing an army green shirt, a denim jacket with neon green highlights and spikes at the bottom, ripped jeans, and platform boots with more spikes and vulgar words written on them. To say that this man was familiar was an understatement. He KNEW this man's entire life THROUGH his dreams.

Virgil felt like he was trespassing someone's life. Like, he wasn't supposed to know the man. And that, they shouldn't be in any way related. Especially to their sibling.

He wasn't really ecstatic about meeting his soulmate. IN SCHOOL NO LESS. It wasn't really an ideal 'meet-your-soulmate' place for someone like Virgil.

"Alright, students, I'm sure you've all noticed that we have a new student right here. Now, why don't you go and introduce yourself, Mister," their teacher said to the denim jacket guy.

"Umm. Sup? I'm Remus Duke Kingsley. Nice to meet you all. And, if you see a guy that looks like me but without the mustache and wears red all the time, he’s always loud, you can’t miss him. That's my twin brother, Roman. The boring one," Remus says, yawning by the end of his introduction.

'HOLY FUCK, TWINS?!' Virgil thought. Fortunately(or unfortunately, depending on which part of Virgil's brain you're asking), Remus already gave him a vague description of who to look out for.

~*~*~

Virgil continues his day and falls into his daily routine, which mostly includes attempting to avoid being perceived by anyone. It usually succeeds if you exclude his friend, Patton, from ‘anyone.’ He only hopes that his soulmate also sees Patton in their dreams cuz, to be honest, Patton is the ray of sunshine everyone needs. Yeah, he was also friends with Logan, but he’s more like a moon if you ask him.

Virgil goes into the cafeteria and sits at their usual table, his back facing the entire cafeteria. He takes out a paper bag from his bag and grabs the sandwich he bought earlier, not waiting for his friends.

A few moments pass before Logan and Patton reach his table. “Hey, kiddo! You alright?” Patton says as he sits down. Virgil just gives them a nod and continues to eat. “I heard this morning that there were new students,” Logan inquires before Patton interrupts “Oh yeah! They’re twins! I have first period with one of them. He’s really nice. Oh! Hey! Roman! Over here!” Patton shouts and waves his arm toward a student that just entered the cafeteria. “Hope you guys don’t mind that I invited him over to sit with us,” He continues and flashes both Virgil and Logan a smile no one could say no to.

“Hey, Patton.” The guy says to Patton. “Hope you guys don’t mind me crashing your table. I’m Roman by the way,” Roman says to the other two. “Pleasure to meet you, Roman. I’m Logan. And, no, we wouldn’t mind at all,” Logan answered him back. Roman looked over to Virgil who just nodded and said his name. Roman then proceeded to sit next to Virgil but not paying him any mind.

And, though Virgil seemed to be calm about the situation, his mind is currently in flames having his anxiety and his gay panic fight over each other. Virgil is currently waiting for who would win, that's why he seems so calm on the outside. After finishing his sandwich, he was trying to think of something he could do to keep himself from leaving and be noticed. He looked over to Logan, attentively listening to Patton talking about the dog he saw this morning. Roman was silently eating his lunch, also listening to Patton, but looking around the cafeteria every once in a while.

It seems that Virgil’s anxiety won the fight because he decided that he doesn’t want to stick around with his friends and his apparent soulmate without doing anything. So, he stands up and excuses himself from the group. "Hey! Wait!" Roman calls after him. Virgil stops a few feet from the table to look back at Roman who was already jogging towards him.

"Virgil, right?" He assures.

Virgil nods. "Ok, there’s just something I wanna ask you. Are those two soulmates?" Roman throws his thumb back, pointing at the two left at the table. "Cuz, as much as how adorable they look together, I kinda don't want to be stuck as a third wheel," he continues.

"Oh. Yeah, those two are soulmates. Sometimes, I wonder if they ever do notice me every time I leave the table," Virgil elaborates, looking back at his friends with a slight smile.

"Umm. Class doesn't start for a few more minutes. I was wondering if I could join you for a while? Wherever you were going…" Roman trailed off, realizing he didn't know where the shorter male was headed.

"Uhh. Yeah, sure. I was just headed to the courtyard to pass the time,"

'Shit. Virgil, why are you doing this?! Why did you agree?! You have anxiety!' Virgil mentally scolded himself.

"Ok. Cool. I'll just go get my stuff," Roman flashed Virgil a smile before heading back to the table.

'Fuck. I am so screwed,' Virgil thought.

~*~*~

"So, what's the deal with those two? I mean, how did they deal with the soulmates thing?" Roman finally spoke a few moments after they found a bench to settle on. "Uhh, well. Logan is my childhood friend and the first day we started high school here, they both had a dream of roll call the other had that day, I guess? They both heard each other's name and boom. You got your glasses gays," Virgil discussed, reminiscing the events that happened that day.

Roman let out a chuckle at Virgil's last words, causing the other's heart to skip a beat. They remain silent for a while, watching the other students passing by.

"What about you?" Roman spoke up.

"What about me?" Virgil glances back.

"I mean, what about you? Have you met your soulmate? Do you know who they are? You just seem like an interesting individual to me, having to stick around knowing you're third-wheeling all the time yet valuing your time with them and your time with yourself all the same. Well, either that or I'm just embarrassed that I think you're uncomfortable with me here…" Roman rambled, rubbing the back of his neck, embarrassed.

Virgil chuckled, "Nah. I just get anxious when meeting new people. Plus, I think you're a pretty nice guy." They smiled at each other, Virgil feeling his face heat up, and looks away immediately. "And, about the soulmate thing. I think I have a clue of who they might be, I just…" he trailed off.

"What's holding you back?" Roman muttered, lowering his head, attempting to catch the other's eye. "I… I just think that my memories aren't that… for them. They're just this amazing and joyful person… I just don't think they deserve to see my bland memories every night,"

The pair fell silent, Roman feeling sympathy for the other. Virgil felt Roman shift in his seat before speaking up, "I don't think anyone's memories are ever bland."

Virgil looks up at Roman who has a far-off look with a slight smile on his lips. "I think that our dreams are what shows us what we're missing in life. What our soulmate has that we need and what we have that they need. You know, what makes you both feel complete when you're with each other," Roman smiled.

Virgil pondered on the other's statement for a while. "Is that... Is that how you feel when you're with your soulmate?" He said, being careful with his words. Roman sighed but remained smiling, "I haven't met them yet. But, what you said earlier reminded me of them. I always think they're a little different. My moms said that dreams are supposed to show my soulmate's memories. But, no one is ever sure which ones we see. Well, my dreams always have one thing in common… There's darkness every time…" Roman trailed off, looking more sad as he continued.

"Sometimes, they walk out of their house and, suddenly, everything goes dark and I see pairs of eyes staring at me as I walk. Or sometimes, they lie in bed and, suddenly, it's dark again and I'm stuck inside a box too small for me. But, there’s always this one dream that always repeats itself. Though, I'm not sure my soulmate's gonna be comfortable with me sharing," Roman finally snaps out of his trance and looks up at Virgil, looking embarrassed.

At this point, Virgil is now entirely sure that the person in front of him is his soulmate. He feels tears cloud his eyes so he looks away to play off wiping them away before looking back at Roman with pity in his expression. This is exactly what Virgil was afraid of, having his soulmate also experience the darkness that clouds him every day he wakes up.

"Wow… They- I- I don't know what to say… What are you gonna do when you meet them?" Virgil glances at Roman, pity still in his eyes. Roman let out a sigh but smiled, "I'm gonna give them the biggest hug they've ever received and reassure them that I'm always gonna be with them and that they'll never have to feel alone all the time ever again." Roman looked at Virgil with a smile. But, before he could notice the tear that fell from the other's eye, a loud shrill of their school bell rang throughout the courtyard, signaling the start of their next class.

"Talk about first impressions," Roman said with a chuckle, standing up. "Well, see you around, Virgil. I got a few more 'Hi, I'm Roman' to do," he continued, leaving Virgil on the bench.

~*~*~

I hear my converse squeak as I walk through the hallway. There are people around me, but they're all just silhouettes of the same familiar darkness. I'm walking to what seems to be the cafeteria. I sit down and grab my lunch from my bag. A few minutes pass, two figures sit in front of me. There's something familiar about them despite being two black silhouettes.

"Hey, kiddo! You alright?"

Patton?

"I heard there were new students," Logan?

Wait. Am I…

"Oh yeah! They're twins!"

Oh.

"I have first period with one of them. He's really nice. Oh! Hey! Roman! Over here!"

Before I could look over to… me…

Darkness. Again.

I hear muffled voices. Too muffled to be recognized.

I stay in darkness for what felt like hours before I get surrounded by light.

Too bright.

There's a silhouette in front of me. It doesn't have any facial features but I can feel it stare at me. Slowly, the light around me doesn't feel too bright anymore. It feels… warm and comforting. Similar to the feeling I have in my chest, along with a squeezing feeling. I feel tears cloud my eyes, but I feel happy, somehow?

I feel someone embrace me. I look up to see the silhouette. Its arms around me, like it's protecting me. I feel secure. I feel loved.

I hug back, breaking down in its arms.

"You don't have to be alone anymore"

I hear my own voice. I break down sobbing, seeking more of the silhouette's warmth.

I stopped sobbing after a while but remained in the silhouette's arms for what felt like hours.

"You gotta wake him up!" I heard a distant voice say in a hushed tone.

"No, he hasn't slept like this since who knows when… Something must've happened yesterday..."

I feel myself slowly drifting from where I was standing.

"We can just tell the school he's sick"

"On the second day?"

I feel someone caress my cheek.

"You can stay too if you want"

"Hey, sweetie," Roman opens his eyes to his mom in front of him.

"What's going on? Why are you all in our room?" Roman asks as he sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He eyes Remus standing in front of their mama. Their mom is sitting on the edge of Roman's bed, facing him.

"Well, sweetie. You see, you just had a full night's sleep," their mom explained.

"You looked so peaceful too," their mama added with a smile. Roman stopped to let the events of his dream last night come back to him.

"Roman, is everything ok?" Their mama walked over to him, tucking a few strands of his hair behind his ear. "Yeah… Yeah, I'm okay!" He flashed a smile to his moms, meaning what he said.

~*~*~

Roman hadn't been able to sit still ever since he got to school. 'Late', he should add. Apparently, he overslept while Remus and their moms decide whether to wake him up or not.

When they got to school in the middle of first period, they were excused because their moms were there to explain. With a slightly bent truth, of course.

Roman had to wait three(and a half) classes to talk to Virgil. They didn't have any classes together, to which Roman was bummed to find out. When the bell rang, signaling their lunch break, Roman hurriedly headed to the cafeteria. When he got there, he spotted Virgil just about to sit down at their usual table.

"Uhh. Virgil? Can I talk to you for a sec?" Roman felt awkward, to say the least.

"Uhm. Sure," Virgil replied, standing up. Roman led them under a tree in the courtyard, away from other students. They stayed silent for a while before Virgil spoke up, "So… what'd you wanted to talk about?"

Roman just stared at Virgil for a few moments, examining him, before enveloping him in a tight hug. Virgil stood frozen for a while, surprised at the gesture. He slowly placed his hands on Roman's back, still confused at the sudden affection.

"You're not alone anymore, Pumpkin," Roman said in a gentle voice, cradling the other's head. Virgil froze when he heard the nickname. His expression then softens and hugs Roman tighter, burying his face on the taller male’s shoulder.

"How did you find out?" Roman heard, slightly muffled by his jacket. "Had a dream about yesterday," Roman simply stated, not elaborating more. "What about you? You said you had a clue. Oh! That rhymed,"

They both laughed.

"I have first period with Remus and I recognized him right away," Virgil replied, his face still buried on Roman's shoulder. "Oh, I'm so sorry you have to deal with him," Roman chuckled.

"No, I'm sorry you had to deal with him your entire life,"

"Well, we're not alone anymore now, are we? Roman asked with a serious tone. Virgil parted a few inches from Roman, still holding on to him. He smiled as he looked up at Roman, "No, we're not."

This might be the last one I'll do for AU august but I'm also deciding if I should go back to the prompts I missed when I was sick hmm

I wish I included Remus more in this but it was already 3k words and thats the longest I've ever written so maybe its for the best XD

[solardragun]

Lmao is that other Anon really out here trying to pretend that *repeatedly disrespecting a person's clearly stated boundaries and ignoring their frequent rejection of his advances so that he can continue to hound someone because he objectifies her and believes himself to be entitled to her affections* is not harassment???

Anon. Nonnie. Pal.

I once spent a full year being incessantly pursued by someone I did not like and wanted nothing to do with. He would not leave me alone. It caused me major emotional distress, to the point where I dreaded leaving my house because I might run into him. I got physically tense and irrationally angry just from seeing him walk into a room. I spent most of the year isolating myself because if I was in a public space he would be *right there* trying to force me to talk to him and go out with him. He tried to hug me every time he saw me even though I'm adverse even to having my own family hug me most days and definitely don't hug people outside of it. Even after I moved to the other side of the country and got married and didn't see him for FIVE YEARS, I went back to my hometown to visit my family once and I happened to meet him on the street and I was once again right back to that place of feeling intense emotional anger and distress and I once again literally had to back away from him and curtly tell him that I did not want to hug him because he still felt entitled to my affections.

Having a person that you DO NOT FEEL A ROMANTIC ATTACHMENT TOWARDS treat you like you are somehow OBLIGATED to like them and REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DO NOT to the point where you cannot even sit in the same room as them without having them repeatedly ignore the word "no" and beg you to be romantic with them anyway, IS HARASSMENT.

It is stressful, it is uncomfortable, it is distressing, it is angering, and above all else:

It proves that the person pursuing you DOES NOT SEE YOU AS A PERSON, and they DO NOT HAVE RESPECT FOR YOUR FEELINGS OR EMOTIONS, and instead, they VIEW YOU AS AN OBJECT TO BE "WORN DOWN" AND "WON OVER."

That's fucking harassment.

anon, I'm so sorry that happened to you :( you didn't deserve any of that at all and it's horrific that he kept pushing even after years. it's genuinely disgusting and does so much damage

this heavy defense and justification is just exhausting and shows how little they paid attention. yeah, jaune stopped, AFTER the issues with neptune. but before that, he was insistent and it counts as harassment. it's just so wild because this only happens with jaune. if it were any other male character in this show, he'd be called toxic and abusive.

anyway these anons are persistent but i know what i know and i watched the volumes multiple times and paid attention each run. i'm not gonna entertain those who like to live in denial, so they can argue with the air. jaune has flaws, he screwed up and harassed weiss, and he obviously grew from it. you can acknowledge that he did eventually stop, but you also have to remember that it was an issue in the first place. that's it. i never said he still tries to pursue weiss, I never said he's still toxic. i said that he HAD harassed weiss in the past with his serenades and getting in her personal space and not backing off. it's like these anons take my words at face value without thinking that hey, i never said he still does it

edit: literally got an accusation that i overlooked when he stopped, and it's like. that's not the point I'm trying to prove. I'm trying to say that he DID harass her multiple times before he finally stopped.

[captainkurosolaire]

Things I Like RP Partners to Know

I like to be called: Captain, Kuro, Zach, Degenerate, w/e. I'm typically not nerved by really anything, mostly chill. (Went in-depth and tagged below cut)

One thing you should know about me: I really just write for passion anymore, I don't care about this whole Post+ stuff, it won't play a factor in me. Tumblr has really everything that allows me to write and further myself. However, it ever goes away, even if becomes Myspace 2.0, I'll probably still maintain writing here off and on in spurts. --Now if they shut-down, I might convert over somewhere that's identical, cause Twitter couldn't handle my girth. I'm mildly autistic and suffer from a few other conflicting health aliments, writing is my obsessiveness and remedy. Used to be gaming, but I became less of a gamer, and replaced it more for writing cause It's a place where I can contain and throw all my thought's to usage. My mind overlaps with so much thing's at once, I get side-tracked, misplacement, my concentration shifts horribly, before I know it, I haven't slept for twenty-four hours or more. Lot of stuff is just me being redundant by fault. Or I become overwhelmed with a story ideas, that impulsively takes me, but majority of my best thing's are sudden. Not the one's that are ever planned. But I don't live to make excuses never care to be defined, by one thing, or person. I don't aim to attain much of anything in life but be a better me, until my end. And by analyzing your mind, you can do or achieve a lot I've discovered. So I repetitively no matter what jog down my WIP's and unleash, or my errors, I put them all on badges displays, then I go back and repeat until I show progress. That's how I have to learn. But passion is a candle, so when it burn's out I lose a lot of what I learned, it's natural after that to be discouraged, but instead, for me, that gets me going again. Cause mean's I can come at thing's with a whole new mental perspective and different flow, then compare, and again, adapt and improve. One thing you should know about RPing with my character(s): Everything is a factor and story with me. Losses, they matter. My character originally was highly killable almost every session, but advanced due to the actions of others, because of them, he found the value of his own life, and that's how I like to do my characters. Even the win's my character gets from stories, will most likely have a 'bad ending' occasionally or result into something new sprouting from it eventually, however that doesn't define at-all how permanently it effects them. But seasonally they go through their struggle. Life for real, is up and down's, these are the component's I factor in. Realistically, sure we fall. We never truly decline unless we allow it. Our character's philosophies, their mental judgement, dislikes, etc, all these thing's become ingrained they decide how much they want too fight and live, they step to improve or sometimes stumble under roadblocks, but not truly devolve. So the more people he interacts with or meets and encounters in RP, they are factors, they're meaningful to meet again, or live, their short teachings are insightful. No matter how small or large or incomplete stories went or passed-by. I created a character who was filled in by others initially. Even one-shot smuts, they're important experiences. Lot more to appreciate when your character learns on their own how to surpass their weaknesses and suffering organically. Still do RP with others but typically I do collaborations, or pre-established or short things, or Discord, one-shot in-game stuff, screenshot things that can convey RP. Want to build this Crew as their own functioning characters, not so much minor throwaways, but shippable, and highly in-depth. Essentially building an optional anime for my partner's, one-day. Long-term with me right now just isn't something I'd ever ask or expect from me. I'm too jumbled and a mess. But it's not a never, I do have two people who are among all my stuff and involved. I'd include anyone in my stories too if they wanted partaken. First language: Gibberish / English. Age range: under 13  |  14–17 | 18–22 | 23–25 | 26–29 | 30+ | 40+ | 70+ Am I okay with NSFW?: yes |

no | some nsfw I came solely off that, my reputation, was known as 'That ERP guy' on Balmung OG day's, I'm one of the degen's from that era. But character's evolve and adapt as do their people, they become more, but maintain their origins to degree. Those perspective's and things learned from NSFW are very paramount to a lot of SFW too. My favorite/most common thing to RP is: angst | fluff | smut | crack | action | plots | AUs are fine | Violence | Darker themes |  I dunno. * I'm pretty open-ended in all things. It's all fascinating for me to attempt at improving. Reason finally pulled the trigger and made a diverse Crew for Captain was give off different interactions and also more reason's to write beyond my usual trends. I'll tackle eventually every genre... now doesn't mean I'll excel in those fields more than my specialties, but I'll do it. Canon Character RP Friendly?: yes | no | depends * I stick with the sandbox but I'll stretch out all the space and limits of it. Building skyscrapers and UFO's with that sand, just happens that this Universe has magic, science, alchemy, holograms, all-around unlimited absurd possibilities, more than even D&D, which makes this game the best to RP within. When comes to interacting with anything Canon base, It'll always dwarf me though. Most likely I'll write my own legit WoL's, thinking of making an 'antagonist' one, but more 'protagonist too' (maybe hunk viera male?) I like making construed lines between characters, that's really complex, it's avidly up to a reader to decide who's in the right or wrong or if they're rooting for the villain or good-guy. I see most lore characters as Celebrities which my character would be rightfully cultured in, and they're untouchable, least for my characters. To me the source of what, who, or with you're writing is what determines a lot. But yeah RPing with anything Canon related, I switch to being a just minor gnat. And there's going to be a lot of consequences, that come if there's anything that does effect something that matters in the Universe. Just cause my pirate is causing havoc and having fun for now, doesn't mean law's don't catch-up or something else doesn't. Cause and effect always. RP blog: does contain ooc posts | doesn’t contain ooc posts | occasionally contains ooc* I would do more OOC if did asks, or inbox related things and was wanted, but outside occasional updates, I stick to my role. That's just write stories and screenshots and practice everything. I'm thankful for anyone who does enjoy anything I share or supports me, It's what brings me back faster and I do always think of you too when I want to get better, it's uplifting and inspiring, alongside boosting. If I do bring any motivation to anything, I do. Then that's the best payment I could get. I like seeing others thrive, or soar higher than me, and unleash their creativity. Tagged by:@spotofmummery (Thank ye my treasured friend!) Tagging anyone/everyone: @roguestly @scholarlybreadbun @under-the-blood-moonlight @lettersnorth @violet-warder @lukawarrioroflight @eligos-venator @corpse-dancer @silvernsteel @silvertail-ffxiv @roxinova @lavender-hemlock @fracturedfantasia @zhauric @fair-fae @avwalya @yuki-yukichan @crow-iv @cadrenebula @spellsandtales @casualcatte @seascrapes @mishivymendi @thorcat @aqueerfishtheyis @ljoturyalre @seabound-dragoon @scornedjustice @laylahcousland @layla-grey @moonstruck-ffxiv @snow-covered-moon (Apologies if missed anyone. If there's more who'd like to be tagged again on all these type of things, let me know.)

[musicallisto]

Hello love,

Congratulations for the 800 followers! You absolutely deserve this and so much more! I'm happy to see how your blog grows and that you're still providing all of us with wonderful content. You're one of the first blogs that I've started to follow here on Tumblr and I'm so lucky to have found your blog ♡

As for your celebration event, could I please request a 🍨 vanilla milkshake with a male Peaky Blinders Character?

I'm more on the curvy side (and insecure about it) and I'm ALWAYS wearing black (which I love, no matter what others say or even more if they object). As for my personality, I'm a highly complex, paradox and complicated individium. I'm unbelievable patient, timid, awkward, kind, forgiving, open-minded, compassionate, thruthful, gentle and calm and I've been told that I have a calming effect on others, that I can easily ground anyone and anything, no matter how troubled their mind is. I prefer vintage over modern things. I think rather deep which often leads me to overthinking everything, which in turn leads me to doubting (very much) myself. You would be surprised how timid and reserved I am, I'm sure you wouln't notice me in a room full of people if it wouldn't be for my different appearance (but I like it this way). I'm always well-meaning, yet often misunderstood (maybe because it's hard for me to articulate myself). I can be incredible lazy, clumsy and forgetful. I've always felt like I don't really belong anywhere, so I've started to distance myself from others a while ago. I'm a outsider, weird, a dork, not normal, a loner and I fucking love it, because I like to be different, I would hate to fit into just one box and to be like everyone else. And I like people who are not ashamed to be their 100% true self, no matter how different that is from the mainstream. I'm the most loyal person you'll ever find, once you earn my trust, I'll always be on/by your side, no matter what. That says a lot, because I'm hard to scare away. Sometimes I feel alienated from the people and things surrounding me and I'm sure that I annoy and bore them. I'm very nervous and insecure around others, which is why I try to avoid people and why I'm not talking all that much around them (though, I'm a really good listener). I'm easily overwhelmed by large crowds and much light/noise, that's why I don't like to go outside, I prefer to cozy up at home. I would never intentionally hurt a animal and I'm not eating any meat, which is very important to me. I believe that there isn't a ounce of cruelty inside me. I'm unassuming and understanding, I only believe what I've witnessed on my own and I have endless acceptance for almost everything. Due to my Insomnia, I'm a night owl. I have strong personal values, am very opinionated and I'm really in-touch with myself and even though I'm extremly insecure, I would never reduce or change myself and views/opinions for someone and I neither have a problem to challenge authority and advocating for my beliefs. I'm a perfectionist and sometimes I really hate it. And, as you can see, I'm unable to be brief. My favourite colours are dark green, black, gold and dark purple. My greatest passion is music, even if I can't sing or play an instrument.(I prefer rock/punk/pop/80s/90s) It's the most calming and therapeutic thing when it comes to my anxiety and depression and I could never live a day without it. You will never see me in the street without headphones in my ears and even when I'm at home there's music playing almost all the time. I could talk for hours about music and what it means to me. And otherwise I love to watch films and series (I like fantasy, horror, psychological thriller, science fiction and psychological drama and almost anything from the 70s, 80s and 90s). I love rainy days and to go outside while it's pouring big, fat drops. What I love the most is to drive around without a destination, while talking and listening to music. And I love to spend time with my cat, if I could, I would have endless animals who live peacefully and loved with me. I enjoy to have deep talks and to be challenged to think. I love to take late-night-strolls, while gazing into the sky and watching the stars/moon. I have a fascination for dark and macabre things.

I really hope that's not too much? But thank you anyway ♡

Have a good day!

thank you so much for your kind words, you have no idea how much it means to me to know that I was one of the first blogs you followed ;; here’s your vanilla milkshake - and it’s also my first time writing for peaky blinders, but I hope it’s alright; and I hope finn shelby will find the portrait I paint of him accurate enough...

Birmingham was a drab and disheartening place enough without the war adding to its joylessness; but somehow the streets are even worse to bear deserted than when they’re bustling and fetid. Especially for a ten year old boy who wants nothing but to play with someone, to talk to someone, to see someone.

With his brothers off fighting somewhere in France and his aunt too busy with her businesses (adult stuff that Finn has absolutey no interest in attempting to understand), the youngest Shelby has been fighting off an affliction worse than consumption and measles, because much more insidious for a boy his age; boredom

and he’s so sad, so irrevocably sad, with no one to bruise his knees with and throw mud at, that he just aimlessly wanders the empty streets whenever aunt Polly isn’t looking, to find a semblance of stimulation

(he used to enjoy the solitude, it gave him time to imagine delirious stories in fantastical worlds and read the most enthralling of novels, but not anymore. four years of reclusion is an awfully long time for a little boy.)

and it’s during one of his escapades that he first meets you

you’re a little girl his age, dressed in a pretty dress, wearing pretty booties and holding a pretty little woven basket, but your face is stuck on the most grouchy frown he’s ever seen on a little girl, and you don’t walk, you stomp down the wet pavement like a wrathful titan

And it’s probably the first time in four years that he’s been this close to making a new friend, so he walks up to you, despite how rusty his communication skills have become

“Girls don’t frown. It’s unbecoming.”

(Yes, pretty rusty indeed; but in his defense, he’s ten, he’s bored, he’s lonely, and he’s only ever heard Ada say it, and Ada is the most level-headed of his siblings, so anything she says must be true, right?)

“Shut up.”

(Well, if it was unbecoming of you to frown, it’s even more to rebuff someone so rudely. You don’t even spare a glance and continue walking; he has to hurry to catch up to you.)

“You can’t say that. It’s a bad word.”

“How do you know that?”

“My family says it all the time, but they told me I can’t say it.”

“Well, my family is not your family. And I hate my family!”

You’ve yelled the last words at the sky, so loud that the crows on the neighboring roofs have taken off in a startled flight.

“They want to wear this stupid dress to go to the stupid market to buy stupid meat. I don’t even want to eat meat, that’s cruel! And I don’t even want to wear a frilly dress! I want to wear black!”

And in saying so you tugged at the pink and white ribbons that encircled your waist.

And Finn couldn’t help being extremely intrigued at this little girl who said bad words and refused to eat meet and wanted to wear black. It was the most exciting thing to ever happen in all the duration of the war.

“You want to wear a black dress?”

“Yes, but my mama won’t let me. She says it’s too sad because of the war. But black isn’t sad! Black is beautiful!”

“Maybe I could find you a black dress. I’m sure my sister must have one. Where do you live?”

And, loyal to his promise, the following morning he had run to your doorstep and snuck into your house - a proper Shelby talent, to be able to go unnoticed or make a ruckus depending on the occasion - with an old, crinkled mourning dress of Ada’s, that had probably belonged to his mother and had been mended several times

And it was obviously five sizes too big for you and you looked more like a ghost from one of Finn’s horror novels, your arms floating in the sleeves and the hem of the skirt pooling at your feet, but your smile was the brightest light he’d ever seen in this whole damn town.

“Do you like it?”

(He didn’t really know why he sounds so nervous. Maybe it was having a friend, a real friend, and doing something personal for them... or maybe it had to do with how fast his heart beat, watching you in that gigantic, shapeless dress)

“I love it! Thank you so much, Finn!”

From then on started one of the most wonderful friendships Finn would ever have, and what would bring a ray of light to the grim existence of a little boy in the midst of a global war

Despite the ration cards, despite the loneliness, despite the worry that tugged at his stoic aunt’s eyes for her son and nephews across the Channel... he found an unspeakable solace in your friendship

And one day, without a trace, you were gone

He knocked on your door; gone. He asked all the neighbors what had happened to the family that lived there; gone. He wrote you letters and sent them to the confines of England; gone. He got scolded by Polly for marking numbers at random on Tommy’s state-of-the-art telephone; gone.

Suddenly he was back to the bleak existence he had battled with before meeting you, and the hollow inside his chest only grew wider as the days went on, because he had no explanation as to what had happened to you, and worried every single day

Thankfully, the war ended not long after, and his brothers came back home, all alive and unscathed - well, for the most part

Fast forward more or less ten years, and much has changed in Finn Shelby’s life and in old Birmingham, but the memory of you still stugs at his heartstrings

One evening, he’s tasked by Arthur to run some errands, send a few messages, scout a few places; the most dangerous thing his older brothers will ever let him do

His task leads him to a bar in the center of town, one that pours its joyous light and music into the street outside; he’s there to meet with a client, arrange a meeting; nothing he’s hasn’t done already

But the evening takes a turn for the unexpected when he recognizes the girl sat alone at a table, enjoying the musicians’ jazz with an air of pure bliss on her face

It’s been ten years, of course, but... it’s unmistakable. That face, that silhouette, and the black ensemble from head to toe... and he’s always had a knack for remembering faces, especially those that mark him deeply

Suddenly he’s frozen on the spot, and he has forgotten why he came to the bar in the first place, what his target looks like - all he knows is you, and how beautiful you look in the dim light of the bar, and the undisclosed and unknown feelings he had for you at the time come flooding back.

Except this time, he understands, and he fears them, because he doesn’t have time for any of this, and it’s way too dangerous for you and him

But he can’t just pass you by and not say a word?

He swallows, hard.

And walks up to you.

“Y/N?”

You open your eyes, and your face flashes with recognition, and a little bit of pain as well. Even if you fled without a word, and left him hanging all these years, he’s incapable of rancor

“Finn... wow, you’ve changed so much.”

“You haven’t.”

He gestures at your face, your clothes, how you savor the music like the finest drink in the world, and you laugh and blush, sending his heart into overdrive

“Where were you all this time?”

“I’m so sorry, Finn... my brother died in the war, and... my mom sent me to live with my grandparents in Scotland. We were all destroyed by grief... I needed to get away.”

“Without explanation? Not even a word?”

“I wanted to write to you, so bad, but... I couldn’t remember your address. I couldn’t remember anything about Birmingham at all...”

He nods, slowly, in understanding.

The war opens wounds that never heal, even after all the most beautiful friendships and love stories in the world.

“But I’m really glad I found you.”

His heart is pounding in his throat. Maybe it’s a sign of destiny that he found you here, tonight, alone, and ready to welcome him back. Maybe it’s a word from fate, that you can never truly be apart.

So he takes the seat in front of you, and you smile, that shy but bright smile of yours, and he forgets all about his mission, his client, and his brothers.

They’ll have to understand.

800 follower sleepover

[ilikedetectives]

dude i really don't get these people who talk badly about eivor

we still need more female representation in the media, that much is obvious, but i think slowly we're getting there.And that's the thing 'female' means all women and to basically say that all women are the same is just disgusting

not every character has to be the epitome of you(i mean them but you get it) or whatever you consider makes a woman.maybe i don't entirely relate to ada from re2 for example bc i'm not a femme fatale who uses himbos to get what she wants BUT spoiler: i still love her and think she's badass even if she's not my mirror.that's a type of woman and it's great that they showed it alongside other types.

same with eivor, i personally am not a masculine woman, but i do not flirt with cops to get out of fines or something either lol (or whatever is feminine to do) BUT i wholeheartedly and absolutely love eivor even if she does not represents my whole personality, even if she doesn't look exactly like me, i can find myself in her (and the fact that she's so strong and brave and angry, i think that is a real female experience)

i think we should all aspire to be badass no shit taking shieldmaidens who persecute christians in their free time :)))(before anybody comes for this i was born christian so i can slander my own)

on a more serious note, these people who complain all the damn time about anything should learn that it's not their way or the highway and that through history there have always been women who refused to crawl and stood up and broke boudaries, or else we wouldn't be where we are today.(or who crawled so the next could walk and so on)

also i think eivor's way of being is very fitting, since the vikings valued physical strengh and therefore men over women, the women who wanted to thrive too had to adopt a more masculine aproach to life, and in the game we can see that even through eivor is well respected by most her male comrades, there still is dag that doesn't want to answer to a woman(otherwise to me it doesn't really make sense, i mean it she was a guy, why would dag have a problem with sigurd's literal bro ofc he would value his real brother more), but sigurd's put her above everyone military so ofc it bothers him. but we also see she is still seen as a woman when she talks to that queen, and just seeing another woman there eases her, cause we know r**e has always been a war weapon, but ofc in the literal 1st scene with her as an adult, kjtove prolly only wants to give her a slap on the wrist then send her on her way.🤡

I agree with you anon, nobody is arguing about having more female representation in vg. Having diverse rep should be celebrated, instead of being trashed on because certain depictions don’t fit into a narrow set of expectations (like what’s going on here). I’m similar like you that there’s no way I have the muscles mass that Kassandra and Eivor have, I can never be as elegant as Evie and persistent as Amunet, nor I’d be as adventurous and brave as Nadine and Chloe, I sure as Hel won’t be as strong as Senua when facing my own demons, and no I won’t be able to run a bureau without prior training like Jesse Faden on the first day on the job. That is the beauty, isn’t it? We should celebrate the fact that this time around, we get to play as a gnc and queer woman. When I was a kid, I’d often talk to the Vietnamese teenagers/women in my house/neighborhood about their experience outside of my hometown while hand-washing clothes together and they’d tell me so many stories; or watch how badass the landlady in Kungfu Hustle is lol. Similarly, vgs educate me about a wide spectrum of women from different backgrounds and places by letting me (a cishet WOC) experience their stories that I wouldn’t have otherwise known about. 

AC doesn’t have a full-fledged character customization so when you play the game, as players you’re supposed to walk in the character’s shoes. If you can’t empathize with a female protag’s story because she doesn’t look like how you expect women to look, and then you bash on her appearance, demanding things to be YOUR way, well. The devs who made Kassandra and Eivor had to “crawl so the next can walk” (nice on, anon!) don’t deserve to be trashed like this. Again, we get changes by acknowledging and celebrating the progress made so far, rather than dismissing it as “lazy” work.

Also, good point about Dag because I get that questioning vibe from him too and it does make more sense if you play as Eivor instead of M_Player; yes, about the queen; and yes about the sexual violence threat that Kjtove made in the opening scene is definitely more disturbing for a woman (I don’t think there’s any debate about this part).

[repo-net]

It's been over a century since I last shared an OC of mine properly here, so here's another one of em, lmfao. This little fella has slowly become one of my more favorite ones mainly because he's kind of a representation of what I was like (well, aside from his backstory) before I grew into the more social and outgoing person that I turned into mid high school, so I have a special place in my heart for him. Anyways.

• Name: Aoyama Nakazke

• Gender: Male

• Height: 161cm (5'3")

• Weight: 53kg (118lbs)

• Likes: Having his hair stroked, bottles of cola, cats

• Dislikes: The smell of garbage, belts, and being ignored

• Talent: Street Baller

• Birthday: May 28

Link to the picrew used to make the above picture:

Full body images: (left is his regular outfit, right is his gym/jersey outfit, but it's more or less just him without the jacket, lol)

Personality: Aoyama is a humble and caring boy, one that shows a lot of will to prove that he's harmless and won't pull anything suspicious. He has a genuinely kind heart, one willing to reach out to others when he has a chance to do so. Despite this though, Aoyama isn't all that he seems.

He has his own insecurities due to a lack of social interaction growing up and a lack of attention and affection ever being given to him, and thus isn't exactly the best when talking to people. His thoughts and his words, while self-deprecating at times, may contrast with occasionally selfish actions to try and survive, and thus leads to Aoyama's fear of being seen as self-centered by others.

Despite this though, Aoyama truly does try to make himself look as trustable as possible and tends to act on the good side, but his desire to survive can overcome this, and while getting close to him isn't a particularly hard task, it takes a while for him to actually open up to his problems, being rather timid. Gaining his full trust can make him very attached to you though, as he values someone who he thinks won't just abandon and hurt him as incredibly saintlike, and goes out of their way to defend them, even if said person truly is in the wrong. That can be a good or bad thing depending on who he ends up giving his full devotion to.

(Backstory coming up is kind of long and has some content warning for abuse, so I'll just point that out. It's nothing too complicated, you can summarize it in 2-4 sentences if you wanted to, but I thought I'd make his backstory more detailed.)

Backstory: Aoyama lived in an abusive and poor household growing up, his parents taking out their frustration over their situation on him, claiming that their lives wouldn't be as miserable if he weren't born.

They would constantly shelter him and refuse to ever let him out of the house despite constantly seeing other kids enjoying and living their life, and being someone who got the bare minimum in education via homeschool, he was incredibly inexperienced with talking to people, and to some extent, stil is. As a matter of fact, to this day, Aoyama hasn't even graduated middle school.

His parents would berate and get on his case whenever he made even the slightest mistake; and when he makes a larger scale one, his parents would beat him with a belt to discipline him, and this only grew his hate, for them and his want to go out even further.

One night, Aoyama simply couldn't take it any more and snuck a bag with clothes, what little money he had along with a generous amount of what his parents' wallet had and a basketball along with himself outside of the house at night and never returned ever again.

Once he left the house and had no one but himself to look out for himself, he had to turn to playing basketball on the streets to keep himself entertained and sane. But it was clear to him that he wasn't going to survive since he'd just run out of money sooner than later. So, he decided that the only way to really live is to play with other people at basketball, and gamble his money to get paid.

However, due to his small size and dirty clothes/look, he'd get picked on by bigger kids and he'd get pushed around and hurt a lot, his life became a constant competition where he had to constantly come out on top in the harsher, more physical street basketball environment he had to grow up in to pay for the food and drinks he needed just to live. But his talent for basketball from his speed, stamina, and technique would always help him defy odds and come out of matches richer.

Every day was a battle with other kids and every day he had to spend his money wisely and make sure no one would try to steal it from him; he was constantly paranoid of people staring at him like an outcast and he'd only trusted those he played with on the courts. His life for more than half a decade was just physical and bruising streetball that had him have to put his body on the line just to sustain himself in the streets. His only company during those times were stray cats, and the occasional teammates after ball games that he'd share a cola with.

One day while he was looking for a new street to stay in though, Aoyama participated in a larger scale street ball tournament outside of his home town, and he came out of nowhere as an underdog to win, defeating a mountain of larger names in the street ball genre and gaining recognition around the area. He was recruited into a major street ball team and after they learned that Aoyama literally had no place to stay in, he was allowed to sleep in the team bus + the team's dugouts/dorms.

Ever since then, his life has significantly improved, at least by his standards, he's travelled across the country with his teammates, he's gotten just the tiniest bit better at talking to people, though he's still a rather introverted and timid mess when outside of the playing court. His current goal is to win a bigger tournament with his team and use the winnings to come back to his parents and apologize for stealing the money he took from them when he left the house, despite all the abuse that he took from them, he wants to hope that they've changed when he comes back. That's what his wish and hope is.

Extra/s: His preferred position on the court is shooting guard, although due to his height, he ends up getting pushed into the point guard position more than he likes to admit.

He bought his jacket after he got recruited by his current team. Before that, all he wore were white shirts and shorts that he'd buy from low quality stores and toss out after a week because they got dirty.

His body is actually pretty muscly since he had to work on it to not get pushed around and hurt as much when playing street ball, but there are still some present scars on his torso, some caused by his parents' abuse.

Quote/s: "I don't really get how it all works, if I'm being honest. But if this sorta thing makes you happy, then I'll do it. Even if it's gonna embarrass me..."

"Hey, you leave them alone! You're just trying to twist the narrative on them with your made up story, aren't you? A person like them... they'd never do wrong! If you wanna come at them, then you'll be coming at me too!"

"S-Stop that! I don't know what the hell you see in me, but I don't agree with it if you're acting this way around me! I don't understand feelings like this, and trying to think about stuff I don't understand just hurts..."

Anddd that's more or less Aoyama Nakazke. Sorry that this was long as hell, it's probably not anything special but I like how he came out. Please give feedback if you have any, it'd be really appreciated! Thanks for reading!

[chocolatte-and-despair]

I'm a little nervous, this is my first time requesting a match up from anyone ;w;. So um, I'm 5'2" and pretty petite. I have blonde hair with brown roots, and I'm really shy about affection. I like playing Minecraft & Among Us, especially with friends or a romantic partner. I value honesty and loyalty above everything, and have a bit of a problem with being possessive and obsessive over a partner if they'll let me. I don't mind my partner being the same way, and I kind of like it.

After thinking for a little bit, I decided to give you... Puffy (Danceswap Sans)! Here are a few reasons why. Playful and sweet, Puffy will always be there to satisfy your needs for some fun. Be it playing video games, talking about problems, or playing japes with your friends and family. His main priority is to make your everyday life the best it could be and he will make sure that is the case. He isn’t the most possessive or obsessive of lovers, he’s more of a clingy lover, but he adores lovers that are like that towards him. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have his possessive moments either. He just needs to feel jealous for him to show that side of him, as he tries to hide it.

* His age: Human age: 1421 years old, Monster age: 29 * His height: 4'4 feet * His yandere Type: Clingy Yandere * His dere type: Bakadere * His Sexuality: Intersex (Male pronouns) Pansexual Demiromantic

A . How would he show his love and affection? How intense would it get? - Puffy would have a hard time showing his love at the beginning. He doesn’t have a lot of experience with romantic relationships, and that would frustrate him, that’s why you can expect a lot of clingy behavior from him. A lot of his affection would come from what he would learn from other people until he would understand what he wants to be like. I hope you don’t mind him saying the ‘love’ word way too soon, because he would. Well, at least, he means it.

B. What type of future is he planning with his lover? - He wants to move somewhere far, far away with you. He can’t take it that you are always around other people, but he doesn’t want to scare you away right now. but if you would leave with him, then he would be able to stop worrying about all of that.

C. What is the scariest moment with him? - It’s probably the day you find out how far he is willing to go just for you to spend time with you. You never expected to come across the dead body of your friend, but you did and all because you said no to hanging out with him. Hopefully, you learned your lesson.

D. How does he usually act with his lover? - He likes to wake up and wake you up alongside him. If you two live together, he will always want to eat breakfast, and dinner with you. Outside of that, he would try to get you to dance with him, saying that it is healthy for your body. Of course, after all of that, he would join you with playing some games if you would want that.

E. How would he court his lover before? - It would take a long time for him to realize that he likes you, but the moment that he does, without a second thought, he would come to you and confess his feelings. He wouldn’t give up until you finally accept to give him a chance.

F. What type of affection does he give? - It’s usually physical affection. He likes having you near, feeling that you are with him, and not leaving him any time soon, as he does fear that happening one day.

G. What sort of kinks would he ask to try out with you? - Because of Puffy’s unique body, he’s quite shy when it comes to sex. He would warn you about his body many times and ask you just as many times if you were really sure about wanting to sleep with him. Only when he would be sure that you are sure, would he feel comfortable.

1. autoplushophilia  - Yes, yes, he knows! It sounds bad, and it probably is very weird, but he just finds the idea to be very attractive! He had experienced it a few times before, and well, it was very good for him. He hopes that you’ll eventually come around to understanding him and not thinking that he is weird.

2. Strap-on - He loves whenever you would wear a strap on and actually use it on him. He doesn’t mind changing it around and being the one who wears the strap one, but still, he would prefer being on the receiving side.

3. Teasing - He loves it when his lover endlessly teases him, especially in public places or when others are around. The fact that he needs to control himself, that he needs to be good really excites him. Of course, he will tease you right back.