#but I literally cannot get them in the same room anymore

[h0neyfreak]

***

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Council of lovefools.

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[bbyobbyo]

seventeen as dads headcanons

content: reader is married to svt, normative(?) family structure, literally just unhinged thoughts, not proofread lol

note: was trying to write an actual fic but then got distracted sorry, dadventeen brainrot is so real

Seungcheol

Super protective “don’t touch my family” dad outwardly

All of his kids’ friends are straight up SCARED of him

But within the household he's the one sneaking ice cream when you say no, albeit guiltily

Shopping trips with him will always result in buying something for them and he is very willing to be taken advantage of

“Babe if I can’t spoil them now, they’re gonna grow up and move out before we know it!”

Tries his best to be handy around the house, but probably makes it worse, ends up calling Mingyu to come fix it

Jeonghan

DEFINITELY a “go ask your mom” dad

This man not only powerless, he doesn't even want the power, he's just here to have a good time and if you say they can't, then sorry kiddo

You can’t tell me that he doesn’t bring up becoming a family prank channel at least once a week

LOVES bragging to everyone else about his kid’s achievements, cannot shut up about them to anyone in a 5 foot radius tbh

His kids definitely talk to him about everything, which is great because he is SO nosy.

Has a list of all their best friends, enemies, and crushes at school somewhere on his notes app for future reference when they come to him for advice

Joshua

The REAL practical joke dad, admittedly made them cry a few times when they were younger and felt really bad about it

Perfect sweet husband and father in image, all of his kids know he’s actually lame af

Dominates the summer barbeques, UNDISPUTED GRILLMASTER

Super dependable, will drop everything if his family needs him and never goes back on his word

Gives surprisingly good fashion advice

Jun

Definitely walks around the neighborhood with his baby in a sling carrier strapped to his front, POINTS AT EVERYTHING OF INTEREST

When they start learning how to speak he adopts all his baby’s weird mannerisms (it started off as a cute joke but then realized he couldn’t stop)

Cries at every baby milestone until they’re like 10

Will not stop bringing up embarrassing childhood moments, especially in front of their kids’ friends/significant others

Cuts fruit for them instead of apologizing

Hoshi

Will fully ally himself with his kids

Like legit would do anything for them. ANYTHING.

I’m talking borderline go to his kid's school to beat up their hypothetical bullies himself sort of dad

The kids can always count on him to say yes if you say no

Absolutely DEVASTATED when they grow out of the tiger stuff he buys for them and become angsty teens

“What do you mean tigers aren’t cool? Do you not love your old man anymore?”

Wonwoo

Quiet doting dad

Definitely more affectionate when the kids are younger but gets into the awkward advice-giving stage when they grow up

LAME DAD JOKES GALORE, groaning is a regular activity in this household

Tries to google basic algebra every time his kids ask for help on math homework because he doesn’t want to admit he forgot everything

Chaotic af unsupervised. “Guess we’re having pizza again tonight kiddos” kinda dad because he cannot and should not cook

Jihoon

Another quiet dad, but make it savage

I feel like he would just love roasting his kids (affectionately of course)

And always overwhelmingly acts of service so his kids know they are loved

Allowance randomly appearing under their pillow, their favorite foods magically stocked in the fridge, always relenting to one last bedtime story no matter how tired he is

Would let you have final say but he makes it really clear he’s on their side and empathizes with them but its out of his hands

“Next time just don’t get caught, okay?” *winks*

Minghao

Loves loves loves just spending time with his babies

Doesn’t matter what he’s doing he just wants to be in the same room as them or cuddling and holding them

Emphasizes equality in your relationship so his kids can grow up with those values and learn to respect others

TURNS EVERYTHING INTO A LIFE LESSON OH MY GOD

Doesn’t believe in allowances but will cave and literally buy them anything they want if they ask

Would rather die than miss any important event (competition, speech, recital, talent show, graduation, etc.)

Mingyu

Absolute super dad, what can’t he do? Nonstop home improvement projects, cooks anything his kids are craving, offers to drive everyone everywhere

But also the whiniest dad ever lol constantly complains about people “ruining his system”

Absolutely FUCKS at the school bake sales, earns them twice the target fundraiser amounts because he's dilf material and knows how to get the moms to spill their pockets

Likes to have the final say, but you’re both usually on the same page in regards to discipline so his kids aren’t getting away with anything

Just the most supportive dad in the universe, the kids learn to never take him for granted

Seokmin

You already know his kids are gonna be spoiled rotten. He will be the favorite parent by default sorry I don't make the rules!!

His arms are the very definition of a safe space

Leaves all the discipline to you because he cannot keep a straight face when delivering a lecture (one time he made them cry and also ended up crying because he felt so bad)

Does so much embarrassing shit just to cheer his kids up when they have a bad day, acts surprised when they tell him he's cringe

Such a pushover that they are probably gonna make fun of him when they're older, but that's okay because they know there's no universe in which their dad will stop loving them

Seungkwan

As long as he can pick them up still, his kids are never on the ground for too long

Two words: SPORTS. DAD.

He could practically captain the cheerleading teams at their school with how many events he's been to

Knows all of his kids’ friends parents, they all get together and have coffee once a month actually

Nags nonstop and complains about everything he has to do for them, but is always diligent and does it without question

Gets so pouty when they start getting embarrassed to show affection, he WILL get his cheek kisses if it's the last thing he does!!

Vernon

Chillest dad in existence?!?

Literally as long as his kids are safe he doesn't give a single fuuuuckkk

“Sleepover? Yeah, call me when you're done and I'll pick you up.”

He WILL argue with you if he doesn't think there's a good reason to say no to them

So cute and encouraging to all their weird hobbies and phases throughout the years. “Lemme see” and “Really? Show me” are regular phrases in his vocabulary

His kids are definitely gonna inherit his legendary facial expressions afnngjdg

Chan

Super affectionate and doting, but also quite strict with them at times

“I just want the best for you, I want to see you succeed”

HAS A PHOTO OF THEM READY AT ANY TIME, lockscreen is a different shot of his kids every day and is eager to show it off even if no one asked

Not so subtly signs his kid up for dance lessons

Just the most encouraging dad ever, makes sure that they know making mistakes are a part of life and that he will always love them no matter what

[nottsangel]

Lorenzo Berkshire nsfw headcanons

pairing: lorenzo berkshire x fem!reader

warnings: smut 18+, vaginal and oral sex, mutual masturbation, exhibitionism, praise, edging

nav. // m.list // blurbs m.list // taglist

a switch. it really depends on his mood

can be pretty rough when he’s dominant

but mostly so fucking mean and such a tease

he loves seeing you all desperate with your pretty eyes gazing up at him as he has all the power

“poor girl, so fucking needy for me, hm? you want me to touch you? then beg for it princess”

so vocal !! especially when he’s submissive. like oh my god. lots of begging too

moans so fucking loudly at the slightest touch. he literally cannot control it

“oh f-fuck, just like that! please, i need more— feels so good, please baby”

sleeps with a lot of girls but gets away with it because of his cute and innocent face

he will only be submissive in serious relationships though. he is always dominant when he sleeps with random girls

don’t let his looks deceive you— he’s hella freaky and not innocent

talks in full detail about his sex life to his friends and brags about it

a little bit of alcohol in his system and he’s going wild. like his brain turns off and he can only think with his dick

will drag you to the nearest empty room and quite literally rip the clothes off your body

sex with him is always fun and adventurous !!!!

if you’re dating, he’ll run you a bath afterwards and smother your face with kisses

and if you’re not dating… he’ll just leave and pretend like he doesn’t know you the next day, like he does with every other girl

kinks

exhibitionism. he’s freaky and horny and willing to have sex anywhere. the freakier, the better. the thought of someone being able to see him have sex makes him even more turned on

mutual masturbation. not much to add here. he just thinks it’s hot as fuck

praise kink. tell him he’s a good boy and he will cum instantly

edging. like i said, such a fucking tease. he wants to hear you beg all night long as he gazes down at you with the cockiest smile ever

favourite positions

oral (blowjob). to be more specific, you laying on your back with your head off the bed as he fucks your mouth

69. he just loves getting his dick sucked and even better when your pussy is in his face at the same time

doggystyle. mostly because he fucks a lot of girls and doesn’t do intimate positions with them so doggystyle is his go-to position

cowgirl. yes but especially in relationships. will suck on your tits and wrap his arms around your body as he holds you as close to him as possible

reblogs and comments are very appreciated !!

tags (join here): @tellenically @vintageirene @leslie-malfoy @burningdesirebby0 @itzliyalupin @hvgwartss @bunnyweasley23 @watersquirtpewpewboomm @liqvidlvvck @loveeharrington @demirunner @saturnmoonyy @nyctophicbtch @iloveefictionalpeople @jac1ndaa @iluvweasleys @mih-velaryon @juletaylorsversion @le000xxgrd @etolies-garden @drewstarkeyslut @rafesslxt @diaries-of-a-hopelessromantic @jllyunn @sluttychanel @blackthunder137 @rafesthroatbaby

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[neo-percs]

can u write about mark + mirror sex please please pleaseee

WHATS HATNIN’ ?:: mark lee

warning:: mirror sex, hair pulling, taking pictures, oral (m!receiving), hickeys, p in v sex, porn with no real plot, scratching, reverse cowgirl, doggy style, unprotected sex, headlock, posesive! Mark, sitautionship.

summary:: even if you two aren’t dating you know better. or at least that’s what mark thought, yet his eyes seemed to be amazed when he sees you posting a picture of you and a guy in your bedroom. a mirror picture.

inspo:: what’s hatnin’ by just Bieber, I literally cannot get out of my light skinned Justin era😭

the ugly feeling in Mark’s chest had become so transparent the moment he stepped out of his apartment keys in hand and phone in the other as he watched your story seeing a guy laying in his girls bed taking a picture of them laying next to each other in the mirror. To say mark was pissed would be the understatement of the century. Mark was utterly fuming, ready to show up at your place and rock that guys world.

Mark had never moved so fast to get to your place, loving the feeling of moving slow enough to keep you on your toes even though he is just as eager as anyone to see you. But Mark knows better than anyone when it comes down to you, he doesn’t share. He doesn’t care if you two are just hooking, officially dating, or friends with benefits. He can share a drink, a pizza, a bag of candy, but never you. That’s where Mark draws the line. And if anyone unknowingly or not even let the idea slip of getting with you; Mark would be right there to knock that shit right back to its root of thought.

His hair is damp from his shower, he was even more hot in the face at the thought that he couldn’t even relax without you going and stringing some poor guy along into your fuckery that would ultimately lead to you being in the same exact bed you were just in with him and being fucked stupid. Not that Mark minded putting you in your place where you belong; with him.

The moment he stands in front of your apartment he doesn’t have patience to be quiet and gentle, he balls up his fist banging on the hard wooden door waiting to for your face to pop up between the crack and chain lock before opening it. “What are you doing here? Did you text me?” You ask completely oblivious to his anger which riles Mark up even more he pushes the door open and his sheer force or lack of yours for that matter choking you up.

The feeling of his fist balling up your hair pulling your head back to fully look him in his eyes makes your eyes go wide and your voice die in your throat. “You like being around other guys right? You like entertaining little boys?” He asks making your hand press against his chest gripping desperately at his shirt.

“No- i don’t” you say but Mark doesn’t want to hear some bullshit excuse you’ll throw at him. “No? Then why’re you posting other dudes on your story? In your bed? Huh?” He says but he knows the answer and he doesn’t have time for theatrics. “He’s a guy i went college with Mark.” You say pulling at his shirt.

‘Right, college” he says but doesn’t care enough to hear or even know anymore. He was in your space, the sacred space Mark had made seem like was his second place residing there almost every night with some of his own belongings sitting around to remind you of him. Mark grips your hair tighter making you wince.

Dragging you along with every heart pounding step he took towards your bedroom, heart ready to fall out your ass at how rough he was being with you though it truly makes no difference to you as you knew awaited you on the other side of your bedroom door. “Dressin’ up and shit, what you wanna impress him? Getting all cute.” He says slamming the door to your room open and slamming it shut behind I’m as he pulls you towards the end of your bed.

“you like pissin’ me off don’t you? Shit gets you all excited huh?” He says now use deliberately picking at you because he knows you better than anyone that you’ll cave to his attitude, and you’d do anything to make it better. “No I swear, we were just catchin’ up” you say defensively. “In your bed? No.” Mark doesn’t want to hear it anymore.

His hand pulls you down to your knees in front of your mirror as he stands in front of you. “You like your mirror so much right? Like takin’ pictures with little boys. Take a picture now” he says his tone is teasing but it wasn’t an ounce of amusement behind his eyes. Making you pull your phone from your back pocket you reach up to give him the phone with no words said but he scoffs.

“Nah, you do it. You took pictures of him in your mirror why can’t you now?” Mark won’t let the mean persona crack one bit. Pulling your head back to lean down and press a kiss to your lips knowing now your irritation was leaking in, but a kiss would shut you up before you even got started.

You soften up looking at him as he pulls away slowly looking you in your eyes perking up his brows before kissing you once more harder then standing at his full height. You open your camera snapping pictures while you both hold eye contact. The shrill feeling of embarrassment creeps up on you making you pull your eyes away and press your life head to his thighs the second his grip loosened but immediately tightens the second your head lands on his thighs.

“Nah, don’t look away now. Look at yourself.” He demands and it makes you pull away as your face heats up more embarrassed than any moment before Mark had confronted you at the front door. Hesitantly you look at the mirror seeing his hands bulging with veins from his tight grip making your thighs press together.

“You don’t like this shit but remember what got you here” he says the ugly feeling he got seeing you and whoever the guy was. “Mark, he was literally just a friend- I didn’t plan on talking to him again” you say but it falls on deaf ears as Mark tugs your hair. “Get back to it. You’re not done” he says using his free hand to point to your phone.

You sigh and snap pictures not ripping your face away from looking up at Mark. Snapping a few too many in your opinion, yet you snapped until Mark said stop. And when you dropped your phone and slid it away mark finally lets go of his grip on your hair, crouching to your level. “You see how that shit feels?” He says looking you in your eyes making your eyes slightly widen.

“What?” You ask not catching the meaning behind his words but it doesn’t take long for Mark to answer. “Seeing my girl posting another dude? It’s fucking embarrassing, that shit pissed me off” he says his index and thumb gripping at your chin gently. “I don’t like seeing you with other people. It doesn’t sit right” Mark says, though he’s made it a point to always get the message across that he hates sharing you with anyone you’d never heard him outright say he was jealous.

“Arguing’s not gonna fix the problem” Mark says softly before littering your lips and face in kisses making you sigh knowing that whatever mark chooses to do to resolve his feelings at the moment you’d be content. “Ok” you shortly answer against his lips with a small sigh as he stands up and sits at the end of your bed still visible in the mirror. You knew Mark was waiting on you to make him feel better. You take the initiate sliding your knees against the floor feeling the ache in your bones as you settle between his legs.

Hands pressing against his legs sweatpants bringing warmth to the back of your palms until your hands reach the subtle bulge poking through the thick grey fabric. Mark releasing a sigh from above you at the pressure on his dick. "You gonna make me feel good?" he asks as he watches you tug at the waistband of his boxers and pants, lifting his hips to help you. you nod puffing out a small hum in confirmation. Looking into his dark eyes you feel the dull ache between your thighs that makes you clench your them shut to relieve the feeling.

Your hand gripping at his base in a grip that makes Mark groan at the feeling, pumping him in your fist, teasing his tip with your tongue pressing your thumb against it as a thin string of spit connects the two of you together. “Fuck, even when you’re being bratty you’re still a tease” Mark says wincing as your grip tightens and your movements speed up. The sight of his thighs shaking makes you smile, though you know the sheer slick sound of precut and spit wasn’t the only sound you could make hit the air.

Wrapping your lips around his cock pressing your head down farther ignoring the burn in your throat as you lets the tip of his cock press against the back of your throat letting the sound of a long awaited moan you had been wanting to hear making your throat tighten around him which makes his bunch your hair back up once more guiding your head up and down on his dick sucking as the soft gags and sound of suckleing breach the heavy air.

Mark letting his other hand run through his black hair and fall back down on his forehead. “F-fuck” he huffs as his hips buck into the warmth from the back of your throat. Biting his lip as he feels the tingling sensation in his lower stomach while his thighs tense. His heartbeat is thrumming in his ears as he feels like his body is being reduced to nothing.

“That’s it baby” he moans airily as his hand presses down on the back of your head guiding you down his cock faster, his hips respond, Mark loves the way you look with tears in your eyes and mascara spilled with spit dripping down your chin and onto your chest in strings as your hair is absolutely fucked up by his hand.

“Look so pretty like that baby” he moans as his vision gets splotched, he’s closer and he can feel the burning white heat in his stomach clenching up and roaring to be released. His eyes widening at the feeling of your soft palm pressed flat against his tip rubbing quickly making him whine as his hips fuck into your fist at his base.

“Gonna cum” he groans as he looks you in your eyes watching as your wet eyelashes fluttered and your eyes look up at him, jaw slacking Mark feels himself letting go earning a deep groan from his throat that makes you gasp at how much he’s giving you. “Fuck” you whisper looking down at his dick covered in cum, red and throbbing; while mark lays back on the bed his face pale as if he’s seeing the pearly gates.

“C’mere” he says throaty and drained you move to sit in his lap making sure not brush against his sensitive cock. Mark sits up on his hands pressing his palms deep into the mattress as they sink in, you hesitantly find a comforting way to sit without touching him harshly while he’s coming down.

The pad of his thumb why’s away the saliva around your lips before he presses his lips to your forehead then to your lips heatedly, you moan almost instantly craving the feeling of his plump lips pressed against yours as he tastes himself on your tongue. His hands gripping the fat of your ass squeezing as he pulls you closer your hands settle to the back of his neck letting your fingers run through his hair.

Pulling away Mark nips and suckles on the skin of your throat making you lean your head back give him all the space he needs to litter small marks across your skin waiting to bloom into purple and blue bruises. His hands finding the bottom of your shirt pulling it over your head slowly as he kisses the skin above your navel up to the bottom of your bra he doesn’t hesitate to unclip and throw to the ground with your shirt.

Mark pulls his shirt over his own head letting you take the time to pull your pants and panties off. Mark settles you in his lap once more facing the mirror almost embarrassed at how disheveled you looked. “Look at you, my girl looks so pretty. Waiting to get fucked stupid” Mark whispers in your ear as your eyes watches the way his cock his hard and pressed against your navel, you clench around nothing.

“You wanna make it up to me? Make me feel better? Ride this fucking dick” he mumbles and that makes your head drop back as a moan ripples off the walls through the air. “s’not fair mark” you mumble as you crumble at the feeling of your clit pressed against him your mind utterly cloud with nothing but mark, mark, mark. You can’t get enough of it, adjusting your hips to press his tip against your sticky entrance teasing him in return as you sink down on just the tip making him sink his nails into your hip earning a wince.

“I don’t got the patience baby” he mumbles against your shoulder as he looks at you over the shoulder slowly pressing his hips up into you slowly making you sink onto his cock taking every inch he can give you until your ass is pressed against his thighs. “That’s it” he hisses as you grind down on him the feeling of him taking up all your space, filled to the brim makes your stomach feel warm and your chest tight at the stretch.

Your feet folding under your thighs as your hands reach back to hold onto his hands, anything, you you just need to feel him but mark does you better by wrapping his arms around your waist letting his warm palms rub against your tummy. The slick sound of you grinding against him makes you whine. Slowly lifting your hips and dropping them making Mark’s breathing shutter like a stack of paper in the wind.

Bouncing on his lap, his thrusts deep enough to make your thighs tremble as you whine, your thighs starting to burn as you push through the feeling letting your finger nails dig crescent shapes into his skin. “You like that? s’It feel good?” He asks as his hips rock against you his eyes watching the way your ass bounces letting a hand fall behind you letting a deafening smack reverberate off the walls.

“Yeah” you nod your head his eyes can’t stay in one place bouncing from you to the mirror in love with everything in sight. The trembling in your thighs slows you down making you switch between bouncing and grinding your hips making Mark grip your thighs “don’t slow down” he chuckles as his hands lift the weight of your thighs as impact was less of a worry.

The slick sounds in the air make your head dizzy as you barely catch the dirty words mark are whispering into your skin as his lips trail up your spine making your bones utterly shiver. “Keep going, don’t stop” he says his voice low and gruff like gravel sending goosebumps all over your skin that makes your hips bounce faster.

“That’s it” he mumbled his fingers rubbing small circles on your clit that makes your head fall back immediately making Mark scoff. “Didn’t I say look in the mirror? Look in the fucking mirror” he says sternly his rough palm colliding with the skin of your ass that makes you whine as you straighten up looking at yourself.

Hair a mess, makeup smudged as your mascara runs. You couldn’t be embarrassed with the way you were absolutely fucking yourself dumb on his cock, it felt too good to care, the shrill feeling in your lower stomach making your breath get caught in your throat as you clench down tighter on him.

“Get up” he said and it immediately made you want to burst into tears. You were so close, just a hair away from feeling that rush of energy and pleasure wash over you in white warm waves. You move anyways, slowly as it makes you feel empty. Mark guides you to rest on your stomach arching your back he leans close between your thighs letting a glob of spit trickle down your pussy making you gasp.

Spreading your legs farther apart seeing the way you glisten under your bedrooms dim lamp propped in the corner. “Look at you, all tired, you tired baby?” He asks as he pumps himself watching your expression in the mirror with a smirk seeing you nod your head. “Just wanna see you cum” you mumble as your temple presses against the mattress.

Mark hums in response as he presses his tip to your soaked entrance as the strings of spit and slick string against his tip as he slaps his tip against you making your hips jerk in response before pushing against him, the stretch is welcomed and you moan at the feeling of being full again. “You like that?” He asks as he sinks in slower making your jaw slack before your teeth cage over your bottom lip nodding.

His hand pressing against your ass as the other against your hip as his pelvis touches your skin making you grind against him. “Feels so fucking good” you whisper as you stack your arms in front of you and rest your chin on your forearm watching mark through the mirror who looks at just how deep he is inside you.

Pulling out just enough for his tip to still be inside before pressing harshly back into you making you moan as he repeats more harshly before utterly pounding into you, his hands touching your body in ways he knows only he can. “You know where to look” he says groaning as he pats your ass making your eyes flicker from him to yourself.

You know mark looks good, his dark hair sticking to his forehead and neck sticky with sweat, his feint abs covered in sweat that makes him look absolutely delicious. “Fuck yourself on my dick, come on” he says gently and it makes your head spin “come on pretty” he whispers as you lift yourself on your hands using it as leverage to bounce yourself in his lap picking up the pace.

“please cum” you whimper as you let your head fall back to look mark in his eyes absolutely filled with lust. “Wan’ you to cum so fucking bad, please” you moan and it makes Mark feel like he’s gonna lose it. His hand presses to your upper back making you fall back into the mattress, Mark leans over you completely like a tower wrapping his arm around your neck putting you in a headlock as he lets his hips buck into you sloppily.

Your moans die out as the constricting feel in your throat makes your jaw drop in pleasure as your eyes roll back. “Look at that fucking mirror hm?” He says into your ear, his breathing heavy as he can feel himself getting close almost like a sneeze the tingling sensation bundles up in your lower stomach as you force yourself to look in the mirror.

“Don’t want anybody else no more right?” He asks as his hips continue to piston into you “no, just you” you slur your words can barely make it out of your mouth with how good he fucks you. “Your little friend can’t do better can he?” He asks even though he knows the answer he still asks just to hear it from your mouth. “Never could make me cum” you whine as your thighs twitch.

“Cum with me, that’s all I need you to do for me baby” he moans as he absolutely tears up your insides making you grip his arm and sink your nails into his skin as you smoosh your face against his temple releasing all tension in your stomach the same time you hear the deepest moan to be released past marks throat that makes keep your eyes shut tightly as your body falls limp against him in pleasure as he fills you with the warm feeling of his cum.

Letting a few more rough thrusts make you completely shutter against him as he stops pulling away from you making you feeling the coldest you have been since he’s stepped inside your apartment, pulling out Mark watched how your dripped with his cum spilling on the sheets and onto your thighs he hums tiredly in satisfaction of his work almost as if your pussy was a masterpiece he painted with his cum.

Standing up Mark works with you in gentle touches as you wince at the dull ache between your thighs. “It’s okay, I got you” he mumbles as he carries your weight to the bathroom sitting you on the counter as he runs a bath. The both of you eventually situate in the bath with your back pressed to his chest as he cups the bath water letting it spill over your shoulders as he runs the rag lathered in soap over your skin.

“You’re mean when you’re jealous” you say, your throat dry and hoarse yet you don’t mind using whatever little bit of your voice you have to tease Mark. “Well maybe when you do shit to make me jealous I just show the ugly feelings” he mumbles as he presses a kiss to your temple. “You’re never gonna talk to him an again are you?” He asks with a hint of teasing in his voice “after this? Absolutely not” you laugh as you reach your hand up to his hand letting your nails rake through the wet tangles that makes Mark relax into you as his chin rests on your shoulder pressing a kiss to the skin. “Good” he mumbles.

©neopercs

[flippinpancakes64]

The Cullens with a reader who loves plants

All of these are a pre-established relationship but other than that it's completely open to interpretation

Edward:

An enabler

The first time he visited your room (that you knew of or not) he immediately saw all of your plants

The perfect easy gift

Most men give flowers, this man gives succulents

If he hears in your thoughts that one of your plants isn't doing so well or if there's one that you really want but can't afford it/ don't have space, suddenly you have a new plant

His room becomes your personal greenhouse

Not like he uses it for much else anyway

When you move in, he asks Carlisle if he can build you a greenhouse

Spares no expense

If he had his way your greenhouse would be bigger than the actual house

He will read so many books on proper care for plants and follow your instructions to a T

Man said its ficUS

Alice:

She loves seeing you happy

And if little cacti and bright flowers make you happy then she is all over them

She accidentally got a couple visions of you going to the same store and buying more plants before she really knew you

She saw it enough that she already knew that you loved them before really getting to know you

I feel like she used to have some plants but doesn't really anymore

Will buy a whole Home Depot's worth tho

Enabler yet again

When you move in she obviously helps you bring all your plants too

As a welcome present she buys really pretty matching pots for all of them

When she buys you new ones she also buys another one of those pots

Side note but I feel like her favorite plant is probably the lily of the valley

Jasper:

Is a little shocked when he finds out

He's never met someone with so much of one type of thing

Like yeah Edward has a lot of CDs

And Alice has a lot of clothes

But this is excessive

He can't even see the walls of your room

Wonders briefly if you're some type of creature that needs all of the extra oxygen that plants can cycle in order to live

He doesn't say anything though

He likes you, you like plants, so he will like the plants too

Is a bit skeptical when you move in and want to take all your plants with you

He already has to share the space with Alice and her huge closet and now there will be literally over a hundred plants?

There simply is not room

He'll try very gently to suggest that maybe you get rid of a few

That goes about as well as expected

So he just lives like this now

He isn't actually upset though

He's happy that you're happy

Rosalie:

Sorry not sorry she's an enabler

She doesn't need to go to the grocery store

Yet somehow once a week there is always a new plant in your collection

When you ask her she says she saw it while she was grocery shopping and thought you would like it

I have a feeling she cannot take care of plants though

You gave her a succulent once and it died

Literally a week later it was dead

She doesn't know what happened

You don't know what happened

All you know is that she is not allowed to touch your plants

She thinks they are gorgeous though

Will help you build a garden or a greenhouse once you move in

She likes to go out there and chill when you're not around

She loves the big leafy ones

And any with hanging vines

Emmett:

He's like the dad with the dog meme

Except with plants

He literally has never given them a second thought

Until you of course

Now he's over here like "yes I do like the pink pot better than the blue one for your money tree"

In all seriousness I feel like he'd have a HUGE green thumb

When you move in he's instantly offering to make a garden for you

Well, he says it's for you anyway

He's the one out there 90% of the time digging holes and planting bushes

He has a damn forest out there now

And I guess a couple of your plants too

Jk jk

He really took to it though

If you thought you were obsessed

He's even worse

Carlisle:

He thinks it's nice :)

Sort of in the "oh that's nice that they have an interest" sort of way

He's a firm believer that hobbies keep people sane and rounded individuals

And what's more grounding than the literal Earth and things that grow out of it

He'll never admit it is a lot though

Esme is the one who likes to decorate a lot

His office is filled with more utilitarian things, not so much decoration

Doesn't mean he doesn't like it, just that it's not what he does

He will say though, when you move in and he starts to notice some plants sitting on some of his shelves, he likes the color it brings to the room

Is another one who will happily buy you whatever plants you want

He won't take care of them though

Not because he doesn't want to or doesn't care, but he knows this is your thing

Esme:

She is a total plant girly

She does most of the interior design wherever the Cullens go, of course she takes care of the plants too

There are a couple plants in the house in the movies

I think those are hers <3

Obviously tho she does not have as many as you

But she will make it work

Y'all instantly bonded over your shared love

Another one who will buy you whatever plants you want

She can't help it when she's the one who wants them too

She would LOVE a garden

I think she would find growing vegetables and herbs to be really fulfilling

Even though she has no need for them

Maybe she'd sell them or give them away or smthn idk

But I also think she would love the quality time that working on a garden together would be

so romantic

Vampire! Bella:

Sort of indifferent idk

She thinks it's a bit odd but she has definitely seen weirder things

She does come from a family of pretty eccentric people

Overall though I don't think she would mind

She might use them as a way to get closer to you or as just another means of hanging out

If she notices it's gotten too quiet and she wants to hear you talk more, she might ask about a random plant just to get you talking again

Or she would suggest going to a plant store to hangout

I think she would be helpful though

Water, sunlight, make sure they don't die

She can do that much at least

She doesn't understand the appeal but she doesn't make fun of you or belittle you for it at all

Everybody has their interests

She doesn't mind

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

Mercs proposing hc?? So basic but Im literally one corny mf

The TF2 Mercs proposing to their partners

WARNING: Mild gore gifts because this is the Mercs we’re talking about here.

—————————————————————————

Scout:

- Biggest panic attack of his fucking life. Has no idea how to function like a normal human being anymore. It was that feeling of being in love with somebody all over again and needing to tell them. What’s worse about this though is that marriage is a huge commitment. One that many aren’t ready for yet. What if you reject him and he messes this relationship up?

- Goes to Spy for comfort. In all honesty he’s just a very damaged little boy on the inside and scared that he is incapable of receiving unconditional love. The other Mercs catch him behind the base crying into Spy’s shoulder on the curb while Spy holds him. He’s telling Spy how much he loves you; and how terrified he is that you cannot return that same vow. Spy knows the feeling. “Shh, mon lapin.” Boy howdy Spy’s certainly grateful that Scout’s mom didn’t teach him a word of french.

- Spy has to shove Scout into your room to actually finally get him to do it. “Your idiot boyfriend has a few words for you, and apparently I have to be present or i’m certain he’ll break down crying again.” He says to you. While poor Scout curls up into a ball on the floor.

————————————————————————-

Soldier:

- First of all, why him? Second of all, this is the type of guy to go all out and spend half the money he earned in mercenary work to get one of those “will you marry me Y/N?” banners hooked up to a plane. Complete with the pilot being ejected and the plane crashing nose first into a rock formation. Apparently that was 100% intentional because a bunch of confetti came out of the explosion. You don’t know if you should be horrified at the audacity, or head over heels.

- Brings you an entire necklace of ears. But that’s not all! For limited time only you can get one of soldiers’ severed heads that was purposely boiled and skull cut into the shape of a helmet! Great, right? “Wow, what type of animal is this?” You ask. “A DOG. PACKAGED WITH PURE, NO ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, PASTEURIZED AMERICAN GLORY!” well that’s not reassuring. “OOOHH SAAAAY CAAAAN YOU SEEE—“ Soldier immediately gets hit over the head by Heavy and knocked unconscious.

- After the initial silliness dies down you see adoration as you tend to his awful head wound. Maybe Heavy knocked the stupidity out of him? No. He’s still insane. Soldier grabs your wrist as you apply alcohol to his wound and squeezes your hand. “Somebody like me doesn’t deserve somebody like you.” He says. “Bullshit, Soldier.” You say, leaning in for a kiss.

—————————————————————————

Demoman:

- He can only achieve this when drunk off his mind. Not to mention it arrives in the most unromantic way possible. But it doesn’t make you love him any less. He holds you close to him after a New Years party at the base and pats your back. “Jus’ so you know, you’d look mighty fine with a ring on your finger.” He flirts, getting incredibly physically affectionate. He makes sure never to cross your boundaries.

- “Me mum would kill me but fuck all. y’know? Old wench’s days are numbered anywae. We could live ina nice cottage by the sea.. If ya want wee lil’ bastards I’ll actually take care of em. I’d have to stop me drinkin tho.” He says, pecking your neck. His remaining eye is pleading with you to say yes. “Pleaaase?”

- Has no recollection of these events in the morning so imagine his dumbfounded expression when one of the Mercs asks about his new fiancé. Cue the embarrassment mixed with pride and excitement.

—————————————————————————

Engineer:

- Will 100% go to your window in the dead of night and sing a song for you on his guitar. Particularly I imagine this would be the contender. You have no idea this is even a marriage proposal. You just think he’s being incredibly sappy. Imagine the surprise while mid song he pulls out a small box and throws it up and down recklessly like a baseball. You’re slowly beginning to catch on as he opens it with his free fingers after finishing the song.

- Complete overconfident show off. He pep-talked himself before all this and rehearsed his performance repeatedly. By using the wrangler and effortlessly throwing the box up in the air and propelling it forward with a single bullet, the sentry successfully aided in getting the box up to you. You don’t even know how you managed to catch it, to be honest.

- Tips his hardhat to you. “Whadda say? Marry me?” He can barely contain his smile. Both excited and somewhat relieved he pulled that off.

—————————————————————————

Heavy:

- “Heavy made you dead person crown..” He walks into your room one day and puts it on your head. It’s a bunch of severed ears meant to resemble a flower crown. “Hey, thanks big guy.” You’re grateful for the gift, being a crazed Merc yourself is it really any surprise? You give him a huge kiss on the cheek. Heavy looks thrilled that you accepted his gift. Which is very much unlike him. Usually he’s reserved. Maybe he’s just having a good day?

- Well.. you eventually find out why. That was apparently his way of proposing to you. Soldier nudges you the next morning and teases you for being engaged to Heavy. You’re horrified to say the least. You had no idea this meant marriage. Not that you wouldn’t marry him. But what about his gun Sasha? Wouldn’t she feel jealous? You’ve been with Heavy so long you keep referring to that damn thing as a person.

- Immediately upon seeing you; goes up to you and gives you a list of stuff he wants at this wedding. There’s even a blank page for you to write your own needs. He seems oddly motivated to plan this out months before it actually happens. There is countless mentions of Russian authors he wants to attend the wedding. As if they’d ever consider going to a stranger’s wedding. “If they won’t come then Heavy will crush them..” He says. Same goes for your guests.

—————————————————————————

Pyro:

- Wow.. Kind of the most normal out of all of them. For the most part. If TF2 took place in modern day they’d propose with a ringpop but all they have is a bag of candy and an actual ring (That they may or may not have stolen from someone in Tuefort.)

- They get on their knees and offer the ring to you in an extremely professional manner. It’s quite surreal to see Pyro pull off something so domestic and normal when he’s always destroying stuff with fire. In fact this is a little too normal.. This is Team Fortress we’re talking about here. Shouldn’t something be wacky happening right about now? It’s like the perfect opening for slapstick. Through your cries of love and laughter you begin to feel anxious at the back of your head.

- Yup.. There it is. Pyro tells you that Scout offered to be the ‘Ring bear’ for the wedding. There’s Scout dressed up in a cutesy teddy bear costume. You’re certain that’s not how it works. “Just for the record, if you tell anybody about this, I’ll fuckin’ saw off both your knees boston sandwich style. Capeesh?” He says. You have no idea what that means so you quickly agree.

————————————————————————-

Sniper:

- Afraid he’s going to mess it up, much like Scout. Gets incredibly physically ill as a result from stress and isolates himself in his camper van. You’re convinced he wants to tell you something but you have no idea what it is. One day on the frontlines an arrow narrowly misses your face and embeds itself into the wall next to you. You were about to turn around and bombard Sniper until you saw the note attached to it. “Pardon, Will you marry me? -Sniper.” With a very worried sad face drawn next to the note. He even bothered to draw his hat on it.

- Disbelief clouds your face at first. Sniper? Marry another Merc? You’re in shock. This isn’t something you’d ever suspect from a guy like him. But your initial thought makes way for an uncontrollable smile.

- He literally will not approach you first after this. You have to knock on his camper van because god knows he won’t be even able to face his team for months. As you jump into his arms and kiss him he immediately pulls you inside to love on you in private.

———————————————————————-

Medic:

- WOULD RATHER SHOOT HIMSELF

- Just kidding. But he wishes he were dead right now. How could he do something so… Un-mad-sciencey? Marriage is just a concept brought upon by money hungry people. It only exists within the mind… Yet, that’s how he feels. An eternal vow to you is something he wishes to do. He’s already planned to make you a god alongside him once the time came so you could be his beloved consort forever. It reminded him of the greek story of soulmates.

- Gets a little fruitier than usual. The most feminine moan you ever heard left this man’s body as you brushed against him while trying to help him grab a syringe he dropped. This man gets unusually hornier and that’s how you know something’s up.. “Looking up my skirt, I see!” He says, as you glance up his long lab coat. There isn’t anything there but his pants so you roll your eyes. “Ah yes.. “ You respond. You decide he’s just clingy and horny as usual and carry about your assistance. You’re not in the mood for that. He never even bottoms so he’s feigning it anyway.

- “Err—Uh— Ho! Wouldn’t it be just shameful if I knew what was going on inside your head?” He asks. “Alright, i’ll bite. What are you saying, Doc?” You sigh. He fixes his glasses back up on his face thoughtfully. “One body, one mind. That would be quite intriguing don’t you think? If we were to.. Become one.” He placed an odd amount of emphasis on that, as if the thought was simply music to his ears. Lord he’s creepy. Medic grabs you and holds you close to him. “Think of the possibilities. We’d never be lonely again. I could stitch our bodies together and we could feel each other’s essence. Forever.”

- “Medic, you good?” You ask. Although his words were strangely flattering nonetheless in their own way. You smile at him. He seems to be lost in the idea. Fantasies of being with you for eternity flood his head. Particularly ones where you’re both a weird hybrid god. Weirdest marriage proposal world record goes to Medic.

—————————————————————————-

Spy:

- No, no no no no no. He can’t do this again. Marriage never worked out for him. After losing Scout’s mom and many partners that followed, he couldn’t bare hurting somebody like that again. His job always got in the way of what he truly desired but he had to live with it. This life chose him after all. His hand was forced into this position. Seeing your bright smile for the rest of his days was all he ever wanted. His urges to get up and say something to you were too strong.

- Has to metaphorically slap himself in the face and remind himself to act like a fucking adult. He wasn’t a little rambunctious teenager in Paris anymore. Yet he felt like one whenever he saw you. Such boyish feelings for an old put together gentleman like him. Spy decided to trust you and himself. But if something went wrong he wouldn’t hesitate to jump off a fucking cliff. Spy would stare at his reflection in the bathroom mirror for hours and contemplate his decision before making it.

- He proposes to you under a starry moonlit night. Not even bothering to kneel down, he slides the box across the balcony to you. “Well?” he asks, taking a long drag of his cigarette. His eyes fixated on the horizon. “Do I have to say it?” He asks. “Yes..” You tell him. Your eyes gleaming with joy. You never felt happier in your entire life. “Fine.. Will you marry m—“ He couldn’t even finish before you jump on him, ultimately knocking you both down.

[h0nkch0c0late]

Can I request Jordan Li x fem!reader (established relationship) where they found out reader never really celebrated her birthday was basically overrun by her younger sister, the golden child, (like, they’d all go to places where the sister want to go, she’ll get to open reader’s presents, blow out her candle and other stuff) and none of readers parents care nor do any of the relatives. So, reader never got to properly celebrate her birthday and doesn’t like her birthdays anymore thinking no one cares for it, and so when Jordan finds out about this, they, and maybe the rest of the gang, surprise her with her like, sorta dream birthday party

Dude omg yes.

Birthday Girl

Jordan x fem! Reader

SUMMARY: Jordan goes above and beyond for your birthday party when they find out your sister always stole your moment.

WARNINGS: swearing, au where Luke doesn't off himself 🫶🫶

---------------------------------------------------------

Today was your birthday.

You've always hated that day. Once you were old enough to leave your parents, you did. Lucky that you had a chance at Godolkin.

Every year was the same. You got a few "happy birthday!" Shouts from students who knew, but other than that, you mainly stayed inside of your dorm room doing the usual routine.

When Jordan had found this out, however, they knew something had to be done.

Your sister and family may have made you hate your birthday, but Jordan was going to make you love it again.

See, your sister had always been seen as the "golden child" of the family. You assumed it was because she didn't possess any powers that could get out of control (though they had forced their eldest into that life), and because, well, she was the youngest.

She made your life hell, and always specifically your birthday.

YOUR day had become HER day.

Your parents allowed her to open your presents and blow out your candles. She got to eat the first piece of your birthday cake, and hell, she kept most of your presents (the ones that she liked).

And you were always left with nothing. Your family didn't even give a shit.

Because you were the fucked up one. You were the one who had powers, who was different than everybody else, even though it was forced upon you. And they STILL blamed you for it.

So yeah, you hated celebrating your birthday because you felt like no one cared.

But in comes Jordan, being your hero.

Whilst you were distracted by your phone in Jordan's room, they gave the signal to their group of friends to get in their places.

The group being Andre, Cate, Luke, and the newest member, Maria.

The surprise party was being held in Cate's room (due to the fact she INSISTED on it being there), it was decorated with different objects and trinkets related to your favourite obsession, fairy lights and LED lights were mixed together to create the perfect lighting.

They all hid in their places inside of Cate's room, getting ready for the big surprise.

------

"Hey, we should go and bug Cate." Jordan nudged you, trying to keep a straight face as to not ruin the surprise.

You turned your head towards them with a quirked brow, "now? Jordan I really don't wanna walk in on Cate and Luke fucking again."

He laughed lightly, "I promise that won't happen again. They changed their schedule."

You scoffed, "Jordan, it's Cate and Luke. They don't have a schedule."

Jordan just shrugs, pulling you up from her bed and dragging you towards the door, "too bad we're going anyway."

"Alright but I'm gonna keep my eyes closed just in case." You reply, shutting your eyes tight as you allow Jordan to pull you along.

Jordan rolls their eyes, "yeah, okay, you do that. I'll tell you if you can open them or not."

You give her a thumbs up with a grin as you keep your eyes shut, stumbling a little due to the fact you literally cannot see where the fuck you're going.

You feel Jordan stop and you knew you had arrived, and braced yourself for the lewd noises that would be heard from the other side of the door.

You were confused when you were met with silence, and the sound of Jordan opening the door without knocking.

"Jordan? What's goin-"

You were cut off by an eruption of voices yelling "SURPRISE!" in your direction inside of the room.

You opened your eyes to see what it was about, and your eyes widened as you looked around the room, there were a bunch of birthday balloons and banners, as well as posters and trinkets of your current obsession all over the room.

"Holy. Fucking. SHIT BALLS!" you yelled in shock, running into the room as your friends watched you.

You quickly turned to them, "None of you are gonna steal my presents, right?" You questioned, pointing your finger at them.

They all looked at each other in confusion before turning back to you and shaking their heads,

"Of course not. Why the hell would we do that?" Andre asked as if it were a dumb question.

You sighed and shrugged it off, "Never mind. Dumb question, don't mind me."

Finally, after more analysis of the room, you turned to your partner, a giant grin on your face.

Tears threatened to spill, happy tears, of course, but still tears.

"Did you plan all this?" Your voice cracking slightly.

Jordan nodded, "I knew you didn't really like your birthday anymore, but I thought that if I made it extra special-"

You cut her off by planting a kiss on her lips and hugging her tightly, "it's perfect, babe. Thank you." You replied softly.

"Is it? Because you sound like you're about to cry, and I'm really hoping you're not upset by it.." Jordan responded nervously, wrapping their arms around your waist.

You shook your head with a small laugh, "I'm about to cry because I'm happy, Jordan. No other reason."

"Oh," they let out a relieved chuckle, "Okay, yeah, that's good."

You gave her another peck on the lips, "Now let's get this party started, yeah?"

Jordan smirked, "After you, M'lady."

---------------------------------------------------------

God yall are really making me crank out a lot of Jordan content 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 I mean I don't blame you because I also love them so much but please request more characters I don't wanna go into writing burnout 🫂🫂🫂🫂

[shesalittlelost]

I always thought that the reason I never found Malina appealing was because as soon as we're introduced to the story they're both joined at the hip from the very start, leaving no room for anymore development or any drama in their relationship for the reader to get invested in and also because growing up together and sharing the same mother figure gives them a more platonic vibe BUT I was wrong! The major factor why I cannot stand that ship is because Mal represents regression in Alina's story. He is the biggest obstacle in her personal growth and letting go of him is what makes her glow, literally and figuratively. She did NOT need him in her story and the author knew this too which is why she made a very conscious decision to constantly make Alina smaller for him so he can be more relevant. And THIS is what makes me loathe the ship.

[j0kers-light]

what if y/n was an airhead... not necessarily super dumb but a little slow or ditzy... and a little dumb. but also very positive and carefree. basically a golden retriever type of person 😂 i just wonder what j would think about that 😂

Hey hi anon!! 🖤✨

Oh this is gonna be fun. 🥰 I love doing reaction head canons! Let’s GO!!!!! Don’t ask why I’m still up at 2am. I hope you enjoy anon!

The first time that Joker met you, he wanted to slash your throat so bad. How are you so positive and carefree? There's no way you're like this 24/7.

You are. Gods you really are. Joker questions your mental state because you are too kind to others and your naivety is so pure, you are considered a national treasure. He wants to taint you. Point. Blank. Simple.

How are you so joyful? Do you do drugs? You're always smiling, offering up words of encouragement, and soooooooo many hugs to strangers. You are wayy too bubbly for J's tastes.

Too often you remind Joker of his ex Harley and he refuses to do that all over again. He considers breaking up with you because you're just so... ditzy.

Your attention span is that of a goldfish, and you literally stop to smell the roses while out and about. You even play peek-a-boo with children you see on the street. End his misery please. 😭

But despite the constant headaches you give Joker, he can’t seem to stay away. He’s addicted.

Frost and the boys stare at Joker in horror when you visit the hideout (unannounced) with a basket full of baked goods; blissfully unaware that a goon almost shot you for trespassing.

This is the girl their boss is dating?!!?!? HOW? It’s giving peak grumpy x sunshine energy because you and Joker do not compute.

BUT. IT WORKS. The laws of the universe bend to make it happen and Joker cannot thank them enough for placing you in his life. He wouldn’t be the same without you.

You know you can be an airhead at times but Joker reins in your overly bubbly persona. He's always looking out for you and not allowing anyone to make you into a pushover.

In return, you encourage and offer Joker the love and support he secretly needs while quelling his more violent tendencies.

You calm his anger. He keeps you focused. 🔥✨

You're still his Light although it stands for Sunlight in this scenario and you get a sun tattoo behind your ear in honor of it.

Joker is grateful that you are nothing like Harley. Yes you can be annoying at times but you mean well in the long run.

Its not just obsessive loyalty and toxic love; you genuinely care about Joker and you push him to become a better man every day.

And the feeling is mutual. Joker does not tolerate anyone making fun of his sunlight. He kills anyone who insults your intelligence and anyone that makes you cry, mysteriously disappears.

Joker is the only one who can call you silly or dumb because it’s not an insult when J says it. 🥹

You giggle anytime he calls you silly girl or his dumb little slut. AND l OOP! SORRY ! I forgot this was sfw!! 👀👀 MOVING ON 👩🏽‍💻

Speaking of you barging into the hideout with baked goodies. That actually happened.

Everyone was shocked when you knocked on the door with a loud, "HELLLLLOOOOOOOO! J are you in there? I brought snackies!"

No one knows how you navigated this deep into Joker’s territory without being murdered. No one knows how you bypassed the building’s security.

You just waltz in like you own the place, bringing an aura of joy and happiness in your wake.

Joker was in an important meeting, discussing how to eliminate a rival popup gang when he heard your heels clicking down the hall. He knows that sound from anywhere and his face turns white.

A goon is right behind you threatening you to leave or else, when you just causally walk into the meeting room, blissfully unaware of the danger you are now in.

Do you even notice all the guns trained on you? Nope, you only have eyes for Joker. You stop yourself from tackling him with a hug.

"There you are J! Oh. Are you busy? Well not anymore!! I baked muffins, and cookies, and oh!” You finally acknowledge the room full of men.

You blink twice before smiling wide. “Hi everyone!! Does anyone have a peanut allergy? I made treats with and without nuts just in case!”

An entire room full of dangerous criminals stare in disbelief as you unload your wicker basket right onto the table, all while humming a song.

They all turn to stare at Joker who is ready to crawl into a hole from embarrassment. He doesn't even know where to begin there's so much to unpack here.

How did you get here all by yourself? Who let you in?! Why did you bake so much?! Is that a pain au chocolat?

Surely you sense the threat around you but no. You are so oblivious, it’s almost sad to watch.

Some brave soul does announce their allergy and you quickly deliver them a nut free brownie on a pink napkin.

Your naïve personality triggers an understanding in the room and people start to lower their weapons in exchange for treats.

By the end of your impromtu visit, Joker's gang is obsessed with you and your baking. And so the questions start pouring in.

"Y/n you’re so nice! How is someone like you with the boss?"

You look up from handing a goon a cookie, "You mean J? Oh!" You look away bashful as they all wait for a response. Even Joker is intrigued with what you’ll say.

“I’m not the smartest girl in Gotham but Joker doesn’t care! He’s the most patient person I’ve ever met and he never belittles me! How could I not love him? He’s so protective too! He always murders the mean people who make fun of me. Isn’t he so romantic?”

The room goes silent after that last bit. And so it all starts to make sense.

“Great. She’s crazy too." One guy whispers.

[alittlebitofloveliness]

any soda headcanons?

Hi! I hope these suffice, I couldn't help but throw a little bit of Stevepop in :)

Sodapop Curtis Headcanons

-The Curtis house has a half finished basement which is where the laundry machine is, but the ceiling is FULL of spiders and spiderwebs. Both Darry and Pony are PETRIFIED of spiders, like Ponyboy is jumping from foot to foot and hyperventilating and Darry SHRIEKS when he sees one, so its always Soda’s job to de-spider the basement and he absolutely hates it (he's a little scared of them too, but not nearly as bad as his brothers)

-He has the friendship equivalent of those ‘you cheated on me in my dreams and now I’m mad at you”. One time he dreamed Steve left him stranded at the Dingo and was lowkey pissed at him the next day. Poor Steve was SO confused

-Loves both peanut butter and chocolate by themselves, but HATES when they’re combined together. Bro HATES reeses cups with a passion

-After the Curtis parents died he snuck into their room, stole his mother's half full perfume bottle and hid it in his bedside table. Sometimes before he goes to bed, when Ponyboy is busy brushing his teeth, he’ll spritz a little on his wrist because when he closes his eyes and smells her perfume he can pretend his mom is hugging him again.

-Thinks bananas are spicy (they’re not, he’s just mildly allergic but doesn’t realise it. Everyone in the gang thinks he’s making a joke every time he says it. He isn’t.)

-Him and Steve swing dance together at work sometimes when they’re working alone in the garage and his stomach flutters every time Steve dips him 

-Cannot sing to save his life and does it all the time anyway. Like, he sounds like he’s gargling with rocks, it’s actually painful. Dally has literally paid him to shut up before.

-Steve’s pet cat absolutely HATES him and Soda will always and forever be mad about it because “what did I ever do to her???”

-Can’t remember what his dad’s voice sounded like anymore. It haunts him.

-The easiest way to piss him off is to disrespect Steve in front of him. Sodapop is convinced the sun shines from his grumpy best friend’s glaring eyes, and if anyone doesn’t see that he WILL throw hands, no questions asked

-The Curtis’ have a chore jar full of little slips of paper with the really unpleasant chores they only have to do once in a while written on. Every three months they each draw two each so that way it’s fair who does what. EVERY single time Soda ends up having to clean behind the stove and he’s forever bitter about it because “it looks like a crime scene back there Dar and I know it ain’t just my fault!”

-He and Steve gave each other stick and poke tattoos once but his got SUPER infected. He would’ve had to tell Darry and probably go to the hospital if it weren’t for Evie, who luckily had some training from her tribe’s medicine woman and managed to fix him up.

-Him and Darry do rock paper scissors to decide who has to tell Ponyboy when he has a doctors appointment because Pony always gets SO mad and neither of them wanna deal with him

-Once walked in on Two-bit in an, ahem, compromising position, and hasn’t been the same since

-He used to socially drink pretty often but stopped when he realised how much drunk him really wanted to kiss Steve on the mouth

-Started drinking socially again when sober him kissed Steve on the mouth and the world didn’t end

-He draws faces on the eggs in the fridge, partially because he just finds it fun, but also because it always gets Darry to smile and shake his head fondly, and there isn’t enough that makes Darry smile these days

-Darry made him promise when he first started work full-time that he’d keep half his pay check for himself. He promised, but only ever keeps about 10% of what he makes as spending money. He’s determined to make sure neither Darry nor Ponyboy ever find out

-Wishes he was a bit more like either of his brothers, because even though he loves them more than anything, they have more in common with each other than they willl ever have with him and sometimes he feels like the odd man out in his own family, especially now his mom and dad are gone

-Had asthma as a kid but he grew out of it by the time he turned 10

[aspecbuddie]

Hii :D

No pressure writing prompt,

From this list about seeking out physical affection : acting like they're cold to have an excuse to cuddle or share clothes or blankets

Hey!!! Thanks for the prompt!! 💚💚💚 I thought I was going to not do this after a couple false starts and then ended up writing nearly 1k for it xD

“Hey can I uh… can I steal a hoodie from you for the evening?” Buck asks, after a minute of rummaging through his bag. “I must have left mine in my locker.”

“Sure,” Eddie replies, not taking his eyes off the movie. “If there’s not one in my room there should be one in the dryer.”

He doesn’t blame Buck for being forgetful at the end of that shift. It had been a truly awful one – one of those shifts that ends with everyone calling their shrinks to see if they can get an emergency appointment. Eddie already had an appointment with Frank booked for the next day, so he waited patiently for Buck to finish sorting his own out before inviting him back to the house for a movie night with Chris.

Although Chris had only spent the duration of a single movie with them tonight before excusing himself to his room under the guise of having homework to complete. The likelihood of him actually doing homework is low, but tonight Eddie doesn’t have it in him to care. His kid is safe and happy and alive under his roof, who cares if he’s doing his homework or playing video games. Some kids can’t do either anymore.

Buck returns a few minutes later, wearing Eddie’s old, tatty, LAFD hoodie and clutching two fresh beers, one of which gets placed on the coffee table in front of Eddie.

They settle back into quietly watching the movie, and Eddie at least is trying to avoid letting his thoughts stray back to the last twelve hours. It’s about an hour and a half later that he cannot stay sat any longer without thinking about it, so he stands up and starts to head towards the kitchen.

He turns to Buck, about to ask if he wants anything while he’s up, but his best friend’s appearance stops the words in their tracks.

Buck is sat the other end of the couch, where he’s been all night, with his feet up and knees pulled loosely to his chest, the sleeves of Eddie’s hoodie pulled over his hands where they’re hugging his legs. His face is flushed, and there’s something that looks like a tear running down towards his chin. Except, as Eddie studies him for a few seconds longer and notices another one on Buck's forehead, he realises it must actually be sweat.

Out of habit, maybe, Eddie reaches out and feels Buck’s forehead with the back of his hand.

Buck swats his hand away. “Dude what the fuck?”

“Take the hoodie off, Buck. You’re boiling hot, man, you feel like you have a fever. D’ya want me to get the medicine from the cabinet or… uh… I can—”

“Eddie it’s not a fever. I’ll… I’ll take the hoodie off, okay?” Buck swings his legs back over onto the floor and pulls the hoodie over his head, before handing it to Eddie. “Happy?”

Eddie just stares at Buck. “Why did you even put it on? There’s no way you could have been cold when you asked for it.”

“I uh…” Buck rubs his neck sheepishly. “I feel like shit after that shift a-and uh… I knew it would smell like… like this house and… and like you. And… I don’t know it’s just… it’s… it’s…”

“Comforting?” Eddie suggests.

Buck nods.

There’s something about this new piece of knowledge – about knowing that his house and his presence is comforting to his best friend – that eases a small bit of his own post-shift heartache. He wonders if Buck has ever had someone to borrow clothes from before, because Eddie hasn’t. Shannon and Ana had borrowed his clothes during their respective relationships, but Eddie had never been able to do the same – nothing  of theirs would have fit him.

He's strangely glad he can do this for Buck,, although it’s not ideal that Buck is literally overheating just to get a small amount of comfort.

“I’ll be right back,” he says, leaving the room with a hoodie and returning a minute later, handing Buck the new item in his hand. Buck looks up at him with a questioning glance. “The hoodie was too hot so, uh, I thought one of my t-shirts might work better.”

The look of awe on Buck’s face is overwhelming. Instead of saying anything, he stands up and pulls off the t-shirt he’s already wearing – which is sweat-soaked in places. Eddie feels a surprising need to look away for the couple seconds that Buck is shirtless; he’s not sure why, they change in front of each other all the time.

When he looks back, Buck is wearing one of Eddie’s slightly less worn black tees. Buck opens and closes his mouth a few times, but doesn’t say anything. Eddie can’t think of anything to say either, so he does the only thing he can think of, and pulls Buck in for a hug.

It’s strange, for Buck to have the scent of Eddie’s laundry detergent mixed with his shower gel from the station. But strange in a good way, and while the hug is short, it further eases the cloud in Eddie’s head.

The movie is still playing, and when Buck sits back down on the couch, Eddie sits closer to him, only an inch of space between their bodies. When Buck shuffles across and closes that space, Eddie reaches an arm across the back of the couch and rests his hand on Buck’s shoulder, pulling Buck gently closer against him.

“Just ask next time,” he whispers. “Or don’t. If it makes you feel better just… just take the clothes, Buck.”

[tokiwarcube]

how jealous and possessive do you think the guys are? I saw your defensive post, and i was curious....personally, I see toki pretty high on the list, but then again im not too sure lol I can see any of the guys (Besides skwis a little) getting like this (Pickles is DEFINITELY very situational, Like he might get agitated at some random person, but Seth? Oh you know he is PISSED LMAO)

Same brain! They're just a bunch of bratty superstars, and while none of them are exempt from that special brand of jealousy that comes with stardom... some of the boys are worse than others. Below the cut -- enjoy!! <3

William Murderface

Easily the most insecure member of the group, it doesn’t take much to set off William’s jealousy. At all. It doesn’t matter if it’s a random rabid fan, or one of his bandmates, or a bug on the sidewalk — unresolved insecurities will do that to you, unfortunately.

And good lord, is he ever obvious about it. He’ll threaten the person openly when face to face, but behind closed doors? It’s best to halt his thoughts in his tracks with a bit of extra love and distraction, because he’s liable to start spiraling.

It doesn’t help when his bandmates start poking at those insecurities a bit — sometimes it’s unintentional, but other times, they just like to poke the bear. Again, please tell him how much you love him. Stand up for him if they start doing it in front of you, too — it means the world to him, it really does.

Toki Wartooth

Toki has been kept in the dark — both literally and metaphorically — for so long — too long. But you? You speak to him with such love and adoration, that the light you exude takes away some of that sting. Of course, that means that when your eyes aren’t on him, the painful ichor that sits in his chest comes back in full force. It’s suffocating. He misses you.

Toki is a jealous man, and undeniably possessive. He doesn’t see himself on the same level as the fans, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t bite back when a particularly bold one tries to shoot their shot with you. He almost always has some sort of hand on you in public, and when this situation pops up, he uses it to his advantage to pull you away. He tries not to show how badly these little things affect him, instead redirecting your attention onto something else. Preferably, with him in tow. Hey, his drink is getting low, we should go get a new one. Don’t think about how full his glass was just a few seconds ago.

He gets just as irked when the guys try to monopolize your attention, if not moreso. This is doubled — no, tripled — when Skwisgaar in particular tries to shoot his shot with you. Not if, but when. It’s best to shut down both parties immediately, for everyone’s sake.

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

I also believe Skwisgaar’s jealousy is more situational — most people are so beneath the two of you that really, there’s no need to feel threatened.

But that doesn’t mean he isn’t deeply, deeply insecure. Hell, before dating you, he was reduced down to 1.) His sexual prowess, and 2.) His guitar skills. And sure, you’ve made it abundantly clear that he is so, so much more than that in your eyes… but after literal decades of being cast aside, only ever superficially loved for what he could offer, it’s hard to remember your words sometimes.

So people can flirt with you all they want — he doesn’t care. But if he feels like you’re spending more time with someone else? It’s the idea of you sharing that emotional intimacy with someone else what really kills him inside, and Christ, does he ever get jealous. He doesn’t want to talk about it, but it is very, very obvious. He’ll go above and beyond to get your attention back, but then he gets deeply cold once you leave the room — the guys cannot take the melodrama anymore, and will tell you as such, much to his mortification. Even then, Skwisgaar probably won’t want to talk about it… but you get the gist when he throws a few insults towards the offending party.

Pickles the Drummer

Like you said, I feel like his jealousy is pretty situational. It is painfully obvious when he does hit that point of possessive insecurity, but actually getting him there is… not difficult, but again — situational. It takes a specific type of person doing specific things to set him off.

He’s a normal person when people chat with you, and he generally trusts you to beat back any people vying for your affection too obviously. But there’s some things that just pick at those little insecurities inside of him, and that, that’s when you start seeing the jealousy brew.

Of course, Seth is the height of the jealousy trigger. If his brother reaches out to touch you, it’s best to duck preemptively — you’ll appreciate the view a bit more when Pickles comes in swinging.

Nathan Explosion

Listen — people lose their minds around superstars, and that effect is only doubled when they’re as beautiful as you are. He knows that damn-well, and so when fans try to shoot their shot with you, he doesn’t really get upset about it. Why should he be jealous of some random dildo on the street who can hardly get your name out without stammering? The most “jealous” reaction anyone can eek out of him is a simple “fuck off,” but even then, that’s moreso because the person is being an annoyance as opposed to an actual threat. He gives the exact same reaction when random fans come up to try and chat with him — Why are you talking to us? Can’t you see we’re busy?

No, his jealousy brews when people he actually gives a fuck about start inserting themselves into your relationship. Case in point: The rest of the boys.

He gets very grumpy when they start stealing your attention away from him — half the time they’re doing it intentionally to get under his skin, but he doesn’t need to know that.

[aajjks]

heyy I lovee your yandre noona x jk fics like LOVE LOVE LOVE AND LITERALLY LIVE FOR IT. I was wondering if you could do a request on jk being “you’re the most jealous woman i know” and she is like “you know other women?” pretty please?🫶

warnings. JÊÂLÖÜSY, YÄNDÊRÊ NÖÖNÄ, dèspèrätè kôô, crÿïng

note. This is your guys’ cue to send in Yandere noona asks. ;)

As much as he loves you

This is getting ridiculous.

You have stopped talking to him you don’t even look at him you are starting to avoid him, and that is fucking with his mind.

It wasn’t even his fault he didn’t deserve his punishment, he is a good boy. He’s always your good boy, and he always wants to keep you happy.

He was just doing what any good human would do, and that was being polite to his neighbors. But that backfired on him.

He has pissed you off.

“Noona please talk to me. I think I will go and see if you don’t even look at me anymore for even a second.” he’s on his knees looking at you desperately his eyes are filled with glossy tears, but he’s holding them back

He just wants you to look at him and talk to him that’s all he wants.

And he’s willing to do anything, but you are so hard to read. Your face is empty without any emotion. Your eyes are empty, everything about you is so hard to read. You have your hands crossed across your chest and your lips are shut tightly in a straight line.

“Just talk to me once! yell at me! do anything, but just look at me!” Jungkooks voice shakes, his nails, dig into your skin, but you don’t budge.

“Look I am sorry OK I shouldn’t have let her in.. fuck I hate her so much she always wanted to ruin everything between us… noona!!!!!”

His voice is getting louder and louder with each word that comes out of his mouth, but your silence is the loudest sound in the room.

“I will never ever let her in I swear I WILL LITERALLY AVOID HER LIKE SHE DOESN’T EXIST. I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON. NOONA… I cannot see you ignoring me… talk to me. I miss you so much it’s been a week it’s been so many days…”

Jungkooks knees are starting to hurt, but he cannot get up right now not until you forgive him, it has been like three hours, he has really upset you hasn’t he?

“Noona I love you so much I can never even dream about another woman that’s not you, but you have to understand that I was just being nice I just was talking to her. I didn’t know her intentions…. I didn’t know that she was trying to do something if I had known I would’ve put her in her place immediately…” he lets out every word from his mouth with sincerity with regret.

He hates that blonde girl so much.

He doesn’t even remember her name.

Can’t you Even look at me?” he cries, and lets his tears fall.

He feels so suffocated right now, it’s like his whole world is silence, because you are his whole world.

“Noona I am so sorry I am so sorry I am so sorry. I am so sorry. FUCK I AM SORRY..”

He doesn’t know what to do anymore. He’s tried screaming, crying and begging, but nothing is working.

“Noona… you are seriously the most jealous woman I know.”

He doesn’t think before he speaks, and let’s it out, his tongue speaks out before he can even register his words, but they take your attention, and you tilt your head and look at him.

Jungkook cries out of relief.

But that relief dies down soon when he sees you at him like he’s the most disgusting creature in the world.

What did you say? Huh?”

Your voice is like an eargasm for his ears. But Panic sets in his chest bubbling up.

you look like you want to kill him.

Well, as long as you’ll touch him, he would die from your hands.

“I-I said that I love you and I am sorry, noona- shhh.” You put a finger up on his mouth. He has no choice, but to shut up.

“you know other women?”

Jungkook lets out a scream of frustration and starts to cry, banging his head on your lap.

“OH MY GOD NO I DON’T. I ONLY KNOW YOU AND I AM SORRY.. your jealousy is so hot but insane at the same time..”

“please believe me, you’re the only woman for me.. only woman in my heart, and in my brain, and in my soul.”

[wakeup-wakeup-if-its-all-you-do]

MHA S7 ED Analysis of the Official Music Video Part 2 [Part 1]

[Warning: manga spoilers]

You were always acting funny to hide your pain

This part is so sad! The boy in blue (Izuku's actor) is curled up and scared while all these hands are reaching for him- probably to represent the pressure of being the ninth/final holder and having to be the one face off against shigaraki + afo. It's a little hard to tell, but I played it back and I'm pretty sure there are exactly eight hands reaching toward him.

I was too dumb to realize it

And then it cuts to the boy in orange picking the green cape from the ground and blinking in confusion before looking back and forth across the field to see where the other boy went 🥺🥺🥺

I'm the one who made you wear that "strongness"

Y'all... I... I... 🥹🥹🥹

So are we all agreed this is about Katsuki bullying Izuku and his guilt for branding him with the name "Deku", later inspiring Izuku's reckless lack of concern for his own well being in order to prove that he isn't "useless" anymore? Cuz literally what else could this be about. It's so sad, there's a flashback to the boy in orange happily tying the green cape around the other boy's neck. The guilt and angst is on another level. Just... just... 😭😭😭

Searching for words to make the buds start to bloom

Y'all 🥹🥹🥹

The warmness you have continuously given me

Just... damn. It must be said again, the angst is on another level. The boy in blue runs away from the scary room he was in with the hands attacking him from what is probably a closet (👀👀👀) and goes back to one of their old hangout places to rebuild the dummy villain the boys destroyed earlier when they were playing. The boy in orange walks in and sees him and the stare at each other in surprise.

It planted seeds in my heart

Oh, Mr. Kacchan Bakugou, everyone but Izuku already knows!!

What's heartbreaking though, is the boy in blue turns around and lifts his arms up defensively over the dummy. Like he's afraid the boy in orange will destroy it. The boy in orange looks surprised but takes a small step closer without hesitation

Those flowers cannot bloom without you

Did I meant the angst hits HARD?!?! Because it's about to hit harder...

No matter what we do, we will never become one

We live each other's lives with different minds

Bakugou thinks that too many misunderstandings and conflicts have happened between them for him and Izuku to ever be close like they were before. He thinks he's hurt him too much in the past and irreparably mangled their relationship.

Nevertheless, my heart is crying with your pain

This reminds me so much of certain events in chapter 403 where a certain someone whose about to unintentionally explode his own heart from a quirk awakening thinks to himself about how the all the pain his body is going through is because he is now walking the same path a certain childhood friend of his had to walk when he was learning how to use OFA

Can I at least be by your side, even if we cannot understand each other

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Hoping that flowers will bloom side by side in the future

Ajejdjjdjdjsjjsjdj I feel like this just perfectly captures all of the "Izuku's" Katsuki says in his last moments (and even after resurrecting) and the yearning and how it's finally revealed he held onto the All Might card they won together even get all this time

My flower buds will never give up on the present

Ok there were just too many flashing scenes in this montage and I couldn't get all of them but here's one

Then it goes back to the two boys facing off in the shed and a close up of their faces. The boy in orange reaches out to the boy in blue

And then it cuts back to the band for a second before the video ends.

And now you too, can devolve into madness with me 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

[fuck-customers]

2.28.24

Genuinely cannot please these fucking people. All they do is bitch and whine that they never get good customer service but if you provide it to them you might as well have flipped them the bird the moment they walked into the store.

It’s Presidents’ Day.

Lady comes in masked up and with gloves. Mask, I get. Gloves? Eh alright. You do you. She’s walking around shopping (i work in an Adult Toy Store) and she comes up to me with a toy and says she wants this one but doesn’t want one that people have been taking out and messing with, it’s contaminated, she’s a “huge germaphobe” etc. so can I get her a new unopened one from the stock room? Sure, no problem. I know we don’t have anymore in the back but god forbid i tell her that without looking first so I go into the stock room, bum around for a few minutes, come back and tell her no but I’m more than happy to completely sanitize the item for her.

You have a problem, I have a solution.

Absolutely the fuck not, apparently. she gets huffy and says nevermind she doesn’t want it and she’ll find someone that can actually help her.

Fuck me i guess. whatever.

she doesn’t want anything to do with me given her attitude but consistently comes to me with problem after problem after problem despite the fact i’m not the only associate on the floor. every “problem” she has, I have a solution for, and she’s progressively getting more and more pissed off!!!

I’m not giving her any attitude or anything, I’m genuinely trying to help her find something that will work for her.

And now on to check-out. Finally, after like an hour of walking around she finds a toy. She didn’t even really want it but it was a box that was shrink-wrapped shut and couldn’t be opened so that’s what she had to “settle” for, as if i had a fucking gun to her head and made her buy anything in the first place.

I ask if she wants a rewards account.

“What is everything that entails?”

i explain it all to her and i just get the lead-poisoning boomer stare from this lady. she can’t be more than like 30, btw.

“…so would you like to make an account?”

“yes???”

see maam this is when you use your Big Girl words, yeah? you know what those are? when you at least open your fucking mouth and speak? maybe even include a “please”? honestly with the way she was acting i’d be surprised if her mouth could even sound out the fucking word.

go through getting her signed up which includes a name, an email, a phone number, and a birthday

we go through all of it and then once it gets to birthday i ask for the year (an 18+ verification, you can’t have an account if you’re underage and it’s REQUIRED IN OUR SYSTEM) and she just yells “I DONT WANT TO GIVE YOU THAT INFORMATION” and calls for my manager because i’m “being ridiculous”

maam.

i have your legal government name, your email, your phone number, and the month and day of your birth. you think adding the year you were born is going to make much of a difference here?

i don’t fucking know what her issue was.

also, for “a huge germaphobe” she sure was out shopping on the second largest shopping holiday of the year.

also later that same day i had a lady get mad because she asked if we had wide-toed shoes and i told her we don’t. this woman yells back “oh so cause i’m fat you think i can’t be a dancer?”

literally nobody fucking said anything about you being fat!!!!!

Posted by admin Rodney.