#but I literally do not recall why I hated the comparison so much. it's been 13 years since then (holy hell HOW)

[loumauve]

sometimes you pick up a book and are violently tossed back into remembering past grievances..

[yuikomorii]

Do you have a personal opinion/analysis about the relationship between Laito and Ayato? I think those 2 are the S brothers with the closest relationship… 🤔🤔 I would say that surprisingly Laito is almost affectionate with Ayato at least when he is hurt… If I remember correctly there's a couple of times where Ayato is been hurt and Laito rushed to him so I was surprised in the prologue of dark fate and in his route Laito didn't seem concerned about Ayato and it's even worse in Ayato's lost Eden route… ummmmmmmmm but then I've been told Laito did say that he LOVES his brothers? In which game was that??? Ajj i need to find a good big essay talking and analyzing the bond between this 2, there was a vs of they that was very emotional? Is there any more moments in other CD dramas that you know? What do you think?

// OH, I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!

Ayato & Laito analysis:

Although Ayato and Laito get along the best, their relationship is pretty complex. They love each other, but in their own ways, with Laito's case being more complicated. I recall Laito saying that he loves his two brothers, but I don't always believe the context was genuine because his perception of love isn't really... genuine. Laito is an expert at reading others, but when it comes to himself? Nope.

Ayato is sort of a sensitive topic to Laito, as evidenced in the Ayato vs Laito CD drama. Laito claims that he envies Ayato in this particular phrase that stood out to me: 「 真っ直ぐで純なままのアヤトが妬ましい… 」 which basically means “I envy the upright, pure Ayato…” and only by the words he uses when describing Ayato, we find out the reason he “hates” him. He knows Ayato is a really good person, and the fact that Ayato is honest and pure-hearted irritates him because he deeply believes that if Cordelia hadn't defiled him, he would have been like that as well.

As a result, every time Ayato sacrifices himself for others, expresses his true feelings, calls others out for their behavior, admits his mistakes, and generally acts heroic, Laito is disgusted because it increases his envy. You know those people who can’t stand others simply because they’re too good to the point that it makes them feel bad in comparison? That’s basically Laito with Ayato. However, Laito would undoubtedly worry if Ayato were to unexpectedly sustain a wound.

I hope this explains why Laito didn't care about Ayato in LE or when he was injured while protecting Yui in DF. Off topic but I despise Ayato's LE route, and the fact that he's the TRUE route makes matters worse. It just feels like the other Sakamakis are only family-oriented and kind to each other for fanservice because a love interest's most canon version is literally the one portrayed in true routes, since that's... the real universe, for this reason it saddens me. I really hate how they made Ayato apologize and be so supportive in other routes, which were literally like: “You matter, don’t give up!”, while his route was like: “You DON’T matter, give up!”

Now, regarding Ayato's opinion on Laito; it was confirmed in the same versus CD that Ayato "hates" Laito because he is never honest. And no, it's not always about lying or doing things like that; it goes much deeper. Laito conceals his true self behind a façade, and only Ayato and Shu are aware of this. The cheerful, perverted and optimistic Laito is not the real Laito, he’s simply faking it. Ayato is someone who is true to himself, he’s authentic and not pretending to be someone else, and that’s exactly why Laito’s behavior bothers him.

I can't deny that he genuinely cares about Laito, which was evident in LE. In Laito's LE route, Laito refuses to accept the fact that he became king and thus refuses to accept responsibility. Ayato, on the other hand, tries to help his brother by filling the space and keeping an eye on the Demon World situation for him, as well as looking after Yui. Ayato actually feels bad for him and as far as I recall, he even admits that if Laito died, he would suffer.

I can't help but feel sorry for Ayato, given that he still feels guilty for what happened to Laito in the past, even though it wasn't his fault. In that CD drama, he even expresses that he truly wished to help Laito.

You can also notice that in Young Blood, when Ayato arrives to the hideout of Shu, Reiji and Subaru, he immediately asks where Kanato and Laito are, and when he learns they're missing, he's on the verge of going after them even though it would be extremely dangerous.

Okay, enough with the sadness; let's move on to happier topics. It is clear from the routes that Ayato and Laito spend the most time together. It is somehow due to boredom but at the very least, they really act like brothers. I love how Laito always finds a way to tease or embarrass Ayato, like when he told Yui about his embarrassing secrets or asked him to wear a princess dress, haha. I also like when they include Kanato in their discussions; it makes me happy seeing that all three of them are spending time together like real brothers! ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭

[jjheejz]

About Internet Water Army in the case

This is an ongoing update about the case from start to development. List of all related posts can be found on this blog's pinned post (link provided at bottom of each post as well).

19 August 2021 update: Added the scale of his success for reference, before bonus below

18 August 2021 update: Added timeline of events, orange title in post, found out the official English term for Immoral Media = Internet Water Army)

Major updates since first draft: Added bonus, added disclaimer, certain info details

Originally posted on 16 August 2021

[The purpose of this post is to provide a perspective as to why the Media is raised/blamed regarding the issue. Especially for international fans, as all the encounters happened on Weibo. Also, those who were on weibo, do read through if you will. So although it's lengthy, do try to read all, at least if not the last two parts].

The Media referred by most, is not the common perception of the Entertainment Industry (celebrities, directors, shows, channels, staff etc), but the dark side of the Entertainment industry: Antis, toxic fans, toxic marketing accounts. They are called Internet Water Army💧.

Toxic Marketing Accounts is one of the things they do, these accounts on Weibo has millions of followers, each of their post likes are in the hundred thousands (buyable) to give credibility to passer-bys. Some use similar names to Official accounts, some use similar logos. Their posts are usually subjective or aims to steer view points of a certain celebrity/movie/show. Before the latest update of this post (18.08.21), I just group them all together and term them as Immoral Media*.

*Below is my original post using my original term because at point of first draft, I did not know the official term (so have changed/added the term from Immoral Media to Internet Water Army in content below but retain the content based off first draft).

If you have chased before celebrities, or just simply passed by an article about certain celebrities, recall how some title that caught your attentions were like. Clickbaits is one of the many things they do. If GZ is your first and you do not have Weibo, then this read(link) is good enough.

Just as the term Immoral Media (Internet Water Army), it’s immoral and unethical, but they exists because they are paid to do so. Who pays them? Entertainment Companies, and maybe other Organisations

Normal Media/Marketing vs Immoral Media/Toxic Marketing/Internet Water Army

When a show or movie comes out, the normal Marketing department will generate outreach and buzz so that people know a show is airing soon/know the show exists etc. Official announcements are not enough, because there isn’t much context (limited content to put up as well) so having some other Marketing accounts do the buzz in a planned period to gain awareness through posts, some articles about the casts, the plot summary, the production details etc is normal. This is Marketing, bigger companies will probably have stronger Marketing departments (aka influence) and can hire more Marketing accounts to generate buzz. Celebrities (aka casts) themselves, are also Marketing point.

Then we have the Internet Water Army/Immoral Media, these are what they mainly do:

Create Fanfiction-rumors: Creating rumors about celebrities to shift audience perception of them. [eg. XX was seen with XX leaving a hotel, XX was drunk on Event Y and did ZZZ to AA, XX is dating BB and has been in a relationship for N years etc]

Honing their brain degrading skills: Come up with titled clickbait headings/ trending topics with negative written contents. For articles, exceptionally out of heading content related to the celebrity. [Refer to Baidu, it’s a winner of these, feel free to Google Translate]

Regressing their common sense and understanding skills: Take everything a celebrity does completely out of context in a negative way and create a topic out of it [eg. XX said AA is a ---, “XX raised his finger, a sign of ---?”, XX pushed BB aggressively on Variety Show Y - A competition variety show, XX is in beef with CC because XX was caught giving CC the eye]

Using their fingers to stir shit and bathe each other in it: Escalate all smallest form of possible tension created by fans/themselves into a huge thing by acting as the fandom's fans/lurk in fandom chat groups, and voicing their disguised opinion to spread tension/exaggerate severity of the issue [eg. XX fans mocked AA - in groupchats: tbh I've never liked AA before, AA just gives off a vibe that I dont like and now this? It just disgusts me even more > Yea, i feel this way too. AA has problems / XX Lurkers expressing views on XX about NN, slowly to NNMHFXW - XX did NNMHGT - I cannot accept NNmHfHw, I'm leaving = multiply by 1000++]

Epitome of a self-deteriorate: Creating something out of nothing and react to that something negatively to gain massive attention/reaction [eg. “XX raised his hand on show Y” - dk what XX fans are thinking, are they literally blind? XX fans are tasteless just like XX hahaha / “XX did community service” - they are acting / “XX breathed” - From the start, i thought XX was NN, but I am so ZZZ that XX breathed. Goodbye fandom, i’m leaving. Those who still want to stay I urge you to rethink your life choices] - if I may add, Xiao Zhan’s fanfiction case as well. 

Metaphor - Ability to use bare hands to collect paychecks from the urinal/toilet bowl where their boss/client peed in: Doing all of the above.

Apologies for any term offense, but not apologetic of the term context. This is what they do for a living. Any normal human being who do not like anything, will generally not be interested at anything about it in the first place, so to have some antis/toxic fans knowing certain things and inside jokes/references in their posts questions their goal.

On involved in Internet Water Army/Immoral Media 💧

Fans on weibo during these few months witnessed many of the above on GZ. From rumored girlfriend (spammed with articles) to mean and nasty comments on trending topics, to bouts of insults and fake emotional cryouts by certain fan accounts that GZ's office has to release a number of Lawyer’s letter to them. 

Aside from WOH there were also a few other BL adaptation films that were actually released this year but they did not reach exponential success like WOH. BL adaptations are so highly followed by because this is the key to wealth. Literally. Successful BLs like The Untamed and  Dao Mu Bi Ji saw the amount of wealth fans are willing to spend on the celebrity as compared to say BG or idols (younger fan groups). This is why when WOH shot up exponentially, Immoral Media start to sweat.

Major anticipated adaptations were supposed to air this year eg. Hao Yi Xing(HYX), Sha Po Lang(SPL) etc but was severely held back due to the stricter change in BL adaptations submitting their scripts for approval regulations (WOH manage to submit earlier before the change). Because of this, most final films were rejected and they have to keep re-editing, by then WOH was already months into reaping tonnes of major brand endorsements, shows/movie casting, variety show appearances etc, something that is seen as too successful in the Immoral Media’s eyes, because they have to create buzz for other celebrities, some are specific celebrity oriented and thus circulate rumors about having endorsement opportunities shifted from celebrity X to GZ (think fanfiction-rumors and shit stirrer) causes tension in celebrity fandoms. - A real event just in July:

The Untamed’s cp fandom is called BJYX which had always been in the Top 1 of Cps for 2 years dropped for awhile to Top 2, over taken by LLD. Both of them had a war and hated each fandom, one fandom is somehow not allowed to like the other fandom even casually after everything broke out because it started out with some BJYX toxics photoshopped GZ on of portraits .

Also another case of which he wore the same costume as WYB did in a previous photoshoot and it became a useless comparison of who wore better, who looks better, degrading the other. (Finger stirring shit).

Now apply all of the above things the Internet Water Army do and we have them earning money, while both fandom reacts and hate each other.

In LLD, our own fans started suspecting each other on who is a spy from BJYX and what not.

The first few months of Internet Water Army saw LLDs mostly mocking them because the average age is 30-40s, they know and see through all of their intentions so nothing was big. They were trumpeting and LLDs didn’t even care, what with all the doing tedious stats was not even important to them.

Over time, as the issues they create became more and more serious LLDs did start to care, reporting Toxic Marketing accounts/toxic fans became a daily task, go vote for GZ at certain polls etc, solo fans, and LLD fans also split apart. Solo fans think cp fans use GZ to furnish their fantasies, and cp fans thinks they are the ones furnishing their dreaming-girls fantasy with (aka my boyfriend).

There was also a period where LLD had a habit of continuously mentioning “we are in the 30-40s so we can see through everything about the media, we are all fans for the first time, we are good at spending money (because of purchase power compared to other fandoms)” it was prevalent for so long it felt odd, ‘chasing celebrities the first time’ in particular sounds more vulnerable as a weakness than a strength / sth to be proud of.

Gradually, more secretive/insider confirmed ‘sweets’ were flying around. Fans advised each other to not circulate, and the mindset of “if you know, you know, dont tell.” (This is a problematic mentality, of which fans will still be curious to know and search for it themselves, but this secretive hook is unhealthy. Over the long term, it becomes hard for existing fans to know a lot of things properly to judge for themselves, especially those who knew and publicly reacted, but blasting those who ask and telling those who know to keep quiet, this did not help some to understand why on certain things, even so for international fans, dont know and dont understand, causing misunderstandings. Yes, certain information should not be shared, so why should you react about it publicly in the first place? - Internet Water Army effect)

The last few months (for example the July fan war) created a tonne of seriousness and anger. A period even broke out with a tonne of ‘insider confirmed sweets’ (which is LLD’s daily dose of happiness), it was hard to tell what was real and what was fake. Trending topics became negative and everyone warned each other not to enter because it will give the trends ‘views’ and trend statistics, in reality entering there is to enter an exhibition by the self-deteriorates, collecting the fandom's traffic data (it's a sure lose for fans each time they enter the topic). Everyone even starts thinking that the trend’s popularity was caused by each other (it's true but it can be bought daily and not caused by fans). There was a raise in the number of fans who were getting emotional because they want to protect but Internet Water Army kept coming and got worse, because fans, tbh, not just GZ fans, every other celebrity’s fans are always fighting with an Army, getting played and plotted in that Army's calendar.

Even so, despite all of these, LLD is actually a fandom Internet Water Army may find the hardest to break because they understand GZ so much, they could tell what are fake news regarding GZ, because among everything above, there are still plenty of logical fans to stop many fans from drifting too far and debunking them. Why? 30-40s are grown up adults.

Why 13.8.21 and the Japan issue is plotted?

First of all, in the political climate of China, there are many political dates in a month that is NO-Entertainment news. Because it’s the honoring of certain important political events. It’s like Remembrance Day, thus the sensitivity is higher. On these days, there are usually no news and even the Internet Water Army zip their pants. This year also marks the 100th year of the Chinese Communist Party(link)

Secondly, he had no work schedule on 13 August 2021. A great full day to focus on any other news (because if he had schedules, everyone will turn their attention to his events, what trumpeting outside is just bird chirps). 

Thirdly, when the news broke out, especially about the shrine, the reception was actually quite serious within the fandom so the scale of this might be big but to what extent in reality?

Lastly, 15.8.21 marks the 76th anniversary of the announcement of surrender of Japanese in World War 2(link). Also a day of NO-Entertainment news. 

Timeline of events:

13.8.21 - [His rest day, Eve of Chinese Valentine's Day, Japan News broke out] His rest day, no schedules = increased attention about him online. Lowered guard among fans because they are getting ready for tomorrow's Chinese Valentine's sweets = Caught off guard = Huge break out of fans' reactions

14.8.21 - [Chinese Valentine's Day, Eve of the 75th Anniversary of the announcement of Japanese surrender] Keep a wishful and happy demenaor to not destroy the mood, suppressed thoughts about ZZH's Japan news

15.8.21 - [75th Anniversary of the announcement of Japanese surrender, Official announcement of ZZH's boycott and all China social media account ban] NO-Entertainment news day, Solemn day, not allowed to voice anything so the fandom can only wait for tomorrow to start voicing out/debunking but before they can wait out, the boycott and social media ban happened, every official accounts about him was gone overnight, fans had no time to react

17.8.21 - [All official fandom accounts related to ZZH and JunZhe were locked/removed]

Forced to be silent since the day his matter broke out, over the course of official news release with everything taken down in a day because of the Japan correspondence, his accounts banned overnight across the Chinese media and the overnight cancellation, fans could not speak anything about it. Overnight cancellation like this scale happened for the first time in China, leaving no time to react by the fandom, by the time they can, they are silenced.

When the period of events occured within a set of special dates, it’s not coincidence.

Conclusion

Because he was too successful and had many actually honorable past things, and a hard to influence fandom, Internet Water Army view him as a huge threat enough to want to destroy him, because it’s hard to defeat. With a chance they have, they will hold it till the end, bringing up this issue to the Government during this period also shows a sign of how scared they were of him and perhaps his fandom to plot something like this.

Updated on 19 August: Here's a screenshot of assumed calculation on the scale of GZ success for reference while chatting with a fellow fan, assuming GJ also has 27 brands, and there are 1000 brands. Rationale of numbers used: Only big brands can hire big celebrities.

Bonus

Mentioned in the first post, will mention again in case. After the news broke out within 2 days, there was a drop on his weibo followers from 18.9mil to 18.7mil. 200k+ drops, if the politics was such a big national issue, there should at least be a huge drop, even at least a million right? Because weibo is a China-Chinese majority right? Nope, we get a puny 200k drop.

What's funny? The self-deteroriates:

Translation: "Are his fans bought? Why didnt he drop fans? Those people got brainwashed to this point?" / "I've never entered his weibo and today i feel like having a look yet it showed I've followed him. All his fans were bought right? It disgusts me, i immediately unfollowed. This kind of process is worse than WYF..." / "i dropped fans because of him...no...I just reposted 2 posts and I've dropped 4 fans?"

Isn't the tone and regressing brain cells, all too familiar and same?

//

Added above, will remind again to read this link. It has an even more in-depth knowledge on who are paying them.

So what should we do? Link here

Related posts 🛏️:

[angxlyxn]

doll - villain! izuku x f. reader

summary: it’s certainly been a few years since you’ve seen izuku, and he’s planning the make the most out of your time together now that you’re back with each other.

warnings: NONCON, bondage, blood, kidnapping, there is a knife, slight voyeurism(?)

important: all characters are over the age of eighteen.

a/n: wow this piece took me over two months to write, it literally took me forever i’m so unbelievably glad that it’s finished.  i’m not entirely happy with it, especially the beginning part because i wrote it two months ago when i didn’t really know how to write fanfiction? but it’s okay, um the concepts are there so enjoy ig.

word count: ~5.3k

The first thing that you noticed upon waking up was the methodical dripping of water above you.  Each droplet was landing just shy of your face, the cold water splashing up against your features.  Cold.  That seemed to be the word of the day.  Beneath you, there was a slab of freezing cement, its moist chill seeping off of it and onto your shaking frame.  

You raised your heavy head, matted hair falling in front of your face as a sharp, immobilizing pain shot through your skull.  You moved the tangled locks from your vision, your hand landing on the back of your head in the process.  When you brought your fingers back around, they were slick with a sticky crimson substance.  As you stared at your fingers, dumbstruck and utterly confused at the...liquid that was coating them, you grew acutely aware of a dull clinking ringing out with each of your movements, and noticed a pair of shackles that were wrapped around each of your wrists.  You tugged a bit on the chains, lurching your body away from the wall that you were attached to as you tried to decipher the situation that you were in right now, to no avail, of course.  This was far too sudden and much too confusing to understand.  How did you even get...wherever you were in the first place?  Why were you here?

Your ears rang out, an amalgamation of horrible chiming sounds flooding your mind.  You tried, and failed to recall the events that had led up to you finding yourself in this revolting state, much to your chagrin.

“Oh, you’re finally awake!”  A cheery voice rang out, the words disproportionately buoyant in comparison to the bleak environment that surrounded you.  You looked up, vision blurring as you turned your head in the direction of the effervescent voice.  

You nearly gasped as you caught sight of the figure in front of you, your eyes scanning frantically over his disheveled green locks, his pale skin standing out in contrast to the visible blush lining his freckled cheeks.

“M-Midoriya?” You responded, your voice uneven, your horribly shaky pronunciation reflecting your bodily state perfectly.  

“Izuku,” he corrected.  He pushed himself off of the wall he was leaning on, slowly making his way towards your trembling form.  You hadn’t seen the green-haired boy since he had disappeared entirely from your life, on that fateful day back in junior-high.  You had honestly thought he had offed himself or something after Bakugou had told him those horrible things, and you had mourned for days, for months, for years over the loss of your childhood friend.  You and Izuku had always been close, and you assumed that it was your shared weakness that had brought you together.  While he was born quirkless, you were born with a quirk that might as well have been non-existent.  An empathic quirk was what they had called it, one that gave you the ability to absorb others’ emotions and relieve them of their feelings, while you would be able to take on their sensitivities in exchange for the relief that you gave them.  You had always seen it as useless, everyone had.  And a few people, including your own parents, had always found a way to make it clear to you that you were just this.  Useless.  

However, you had still made it into UA, on account of nothing more than your grades, of course.  People had marvelled at your acceptance, talking about how progressive it was of UA to let in someone as weak as you, even though you had only made it into general studies.  It wasn’t like you really wanted to work in heroics anyways, but still, it had hurt a bit when you had to bid farewell to some of your friends from middle school, who were pursuing the hero path.  By friends, of course, you meant Katsuki.  As strange as it was, you, Midoriya, and him had always been together, well, in your own ways.  You really had no idea why Izuku was still latched on to the ill-tempered blonde, and at times wished he would just let go of his hold on the boy.  Countless times you had told him to just stop making contact with Katsuki, as their time together never seemed to end well, but he wouldn’t ever take heed of your advice. You couldn’t help but wonder if there was some sort of unspoken competition between them, besides their constant debate over Izuku’s quirklessness, which admittedly led to most of the dissents.  It was weird.  They were always at each other’s throats, and almost every time they fought you would be there, if only to defend Midoriya.  You were protective over him- anyone would be after witnessing the torment that he so frequently endured from Katsuki and others.  

So when the news had come that he was declared missing, you were in absolute pieces.  When your mother had come into your room to tell you that this, you swore you felt your heart shatter then and there.  Nothing could keep you from blaming yourself.  No matter how much others tried to tell you otherwise, whether it be therapists, friends, parents, or even Katsuki himself, you just couldn’t believe them.  You should’ve done more to help the green-haired boy, you should’ve helped him.  You could’ve stood up to Bakugou more, or done anything at all to aid him.  You always had seen yourself as selfish, which was why it was such a surprise when the king of ego himself told you otherwise.  

You remembered it clearly: You were nearing the end of your first semester at UA, still completely distraught about Izuku’s disappearance.  A stern knocking had rang through your apartment, causing you to look up from your stack of textbooks with weary eyes.  You pushed yourself off of the couch, making your way to the door and flinging it open, squinting as your eyes met the slouching form of the person in front of you.  He wasted no time, just walking into your apartment with a confident, yet defensive stride.  Immediately, the person, who you now recognized to be Katsuki, had made a beeline to your couch, and was sitting upon the charcoal-colored cushions that adorned it.  You just started at him, mouth slightly agape as he looked back at you, gaze perfervid and intense.  

“Well, get over here,” He had spat, gesturing for you to join him on the couch.  You hurriedly did as he asked, his eyes following your form as you made your way over to him.  He had let out a short breath, his eyelids falling slightly downwards as he looked at your unkempt appearance.  After a few moments of silence, he spoke.  “It’s not your fault, you know.  That damn nerd shouldn’t have done this.  It’s his fault, you hear me?”  He had said, voice as gravelly as ever.  However, it seemed that there was a bit of… something else behind his words, like a small piece of his defensive front was crumbling away in front of your very eyes.  

“I- I don’t-”  You responded in a frail voice.  

“Everyone else- they don’t think so either.  I hate to admit it but, you… fuck.  You’re a good person, Y/n.”  Your shoulders jerked upwards a bit at his use of your first name.  “You can’t feel guilty for what that fucking extra did.”

You stayed silent, eyebrows furrowing gently at his conciliatory words.  

“Fuck,” he mumbled, barely audible.  He looked back up to you.  “I just…” You could tell that he was moving to say something, his gaze downcast and contemplative.  He looked back up at you, his eyes landing on your face.  “I…”  You leaned slightly towards him, urging him to speak.  You had never seen Katsuki so… quiet.  He was quite literally speechless, the environment around you two extremely tense due to his wordlessness.  He shifted his eyes, looking over your frame intently.  His gaze caught on the area near your clavicle, and before you could say anything about his strange behavior, he spoke once more.  

“Your collar,” he grunted.  You looked down at yourself, staring at your crumpled uniform that you hadn’t changed out of in days.  You raised your eyes back up to him, sending him a questioning glance.  “It..” he said, clenching his hands a bit as his eyes still stayed trained on your collarbone.  

He reached out two tentative hands, taking your shirt collar between his slender fingers.  You remember your complete state of shock as he had adjusted your shirt, snapping the top few buttons into place and smoothing down the fabric.  After he had finished, it was like he had snapped out of some sort of stupor, jumping away from you and retracting his hand into his chest.  He had left a bit after that, a light blush still coating your cheeks long after he made his departure.

As weird as it sounds, that was the beginning of your relationship with Katsuki.  You grew to like each other, him growing somewhat emotionally dependent on you while you relied on him to keep your more self-destructive tendencies in check.  The two of you really were a sight, though.  The soft, gentle curve of your features in contrast to Bakugou’s angular ones was enough to garner a few stares, and if that weren’t enough, there were the differentiations in mannerisms and personality to set you apart even further.  But you supposed that opposites do in fact attract, at least in your case.

Goodness, before you even had time to register what was happening your thoughts had drifted over to the blonde, which wasn’t really an uncommon occurrence.  You could only hope that he thought about you as much as you thought about him.  Of course you two were dating and all, so it was only natural that he should, but still, you couldn’t help but feel just a bit of anxiety about not actually being wanted or needed by the boy.  As much as he would reassure you that he did need you, that he loved you, part of you just couldn’t believe him.  A bit of you always had a feeling that he would leave you, just as Izuku did.  Maybe you were just insecure, but still.  You wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted someone stronger, or better than yourself.  You hadn’t ever been surprised when others wanted someone else.  

You weren’t ever surprised when you were second choice.  

On that note, you brought yourself back to reality, the sound of water dripping from the ceiling still grating against your ears.  You refocused your eyes, which had glazed over during your train of thought, only for your now active gaze to land on a person who happened to be situated directly in front of you.  You groggily looked up once more, your worried eyes meeting the face of Izuku, who looked oddly infatuated with you.  Why, you did not know.  All you were able to register was how his doting eyes were dancing over your whole frame, making you squirm a bit in your spot.  

“Mi- I mean..Izu-Izuku…” you mumbled as you looked up at him, pushing yourself up so that you were nearly face to face with the green-haired boy.  “Wh-What’s going on, I.. don’t understand…”  

“Oh doll,” he said, the pet name rolling off of his tongue in a sickeningly sweet manner.  “I just helped you do a little relocation, that’s all!  I know you’re probably scared, and confused, but don’t worry!  I’m not here to hurt you, understand?”  He said, reaching a hand out to caress your cheek gently.  You drew away from him sharply at the feeling of his calloused fingers against your skin, instinctively bringing your hands up to your face.

“Hey, don’t flinch away from me now, come on!  We’re friends, aren’t we?”  He said, his tone growing bitter as he spat out the last sentence.  

“I...guess,” you mumbled, still too disoriented to make a coherent sentence.  “But why.. The chains..?”  Izuku looked slightly taken aback at your query, rising up from his kneeled position, and instead settling for standing in front of you.  

“Just a precaution,” he said, his tone infantilizing.  “I can’t have you two running away now,” he finished, smiling.  

“T-two?”  You asked, attempting to search his eyes.  His green orbs were full of adoration towards you, but his pupils seemed to swirl with a bit of malice as he continued to stare at you.  He hummed in response to your question, bringing his hand up to your cold cheek.  He gently pressed his fingers into your skin and manually shifted your head to the left, your eyes drifting towards the other side of the room.

Low and behold, there was indeed another person.  And the venomous look on his face accompanied by a mess of ash blonde hair was enough to tell you who this second person was.  His frame was wrapped in restraints, his arms suspended above his head and his clenching fists encircled by thick shackles.  He kicked and struggled against the chains, the clinking sound of them ringing out across the room like a series of cathedral bells.  

“Katsuki!”  You yelped, the word ripping from your lips as you began to pull against the chains binding your own body, feverishly pushing yourself to try and reach your lover.  Izuku leapt towards you before you could really go anywhere, latching himself onto your shoulder and pulling you backwards.  

“Now puppy, don’t get aggressive!”  He said in a tone that was far too sweet and much too jubilant.  He rubbed his palm against your shoulder as though he were coaxing a child, nestling his chin against your cheek as he did so, all the while looking at Bakugou with hazy eyes.  

“No!” You cried.  “I don’t know what you’re planning right now, but you left us for years and now you-you’re back, and you haven’t explained anything and I just can’t trust you an-and why are we in chains?  And for fuck’s sake get off of me, at least until you explain yourself!”  You punctuated your sentence with a shove to his shoulder, a twinge of guilt pumping through your veins as you did so.

He fell backwards a bit, his gaze downturned and his face darkened.  His eyes swirled with animosity as he stared down at the floor with furrowed brows, his fists clenching a releasing a few times over.  

“Please,” you said, your voice softer.  “Explain.  You just... left.  I need to know why.”

He continued to stare down at the floor with an uncomfortable amount of determination, green eyes scanning the tile before slowly beginning to lift back up to meet your unsteady gaze.  His face was serious as he bored his eyes into yours, his pupils full of pure animosity.  A few moments of silence passed, and then he began to laugh.

He was laughing.

His green eyes glinted with jubilance as he looked at you through the dark shadow clouding his face, his hand coming up to rake through the mop of green tufts on his head.

“Why?”  He said between giggles.  “I think you know the answer to that one, love!”  He said, still chuckling.  You looked at him wildly, gaze skittish and horrified.  

You began to speak, raising your trembling voice over his laughter.  “Izu, you don’t understand, we thought that you ki-”

“Killed myself?”  He said, his laughter dying down.  He clicked his tongue before continuing, nuzzling himself back into your shoulder, the action earning a few muffled screams from the blonde restrained at the other end of the room.  “You’ve got it all wrong puppy!  I would never dare leave you like that, doll.  I just saw an opportunity and took it.  You would’ve done the same darling, I know you would’ve.  Although, I think if you did leave me like that, I would kill myself.”  He remarked, his voice far too exuberant for the weighty contention.  You shivered as you slipped out of his grip, pushing your arms out in front of you to try and hinder the touches of the sensitive boy.  

“No, Izuku this is weird, I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.  Th- This isn’t you.  And we were never t..together, so I don’t understand why you're touching me and calling me these names and I- I still don’t know what you mean by this ‘opportunity’, or why the hell you’ve kidnapped me and Katsu, and I’m bleeding-”

Midoriya hummed, the warm sound cutting you off.  “Ah-ah!  You’re talkative today, huh?  So many questions!”  He said in a lilting voice.  “Why don’t we ask Katsu what he thinks about everything!”  The boy continued, his use of your nickname for the blonde making you cringe.  “He always was more articulate than you.”

He heaved himself off of the floor next to you, making his way over to an erratic Bakugou.  The chains above his head rattled as he kicked against the restraints, the gag shoved into his mouth growing damp as he relentlessly screamed into it.  

As he approached Katsuki, Izuku whipped a knife out of his pocket, the blade flicking out as he continued to walk towards him.  You gasped at this, yelling out as the greenette continued to walk away from you.

“No, Izuku don’t hurt him!  Leave him alone!”  You screamed, tugging on your chains once more and pushing yourself towards the unstable boy.  Much to your terror, Izuku disregarded your words, instead moving to stand behind Bakugou.  He threaded his hand through the taller boy’s locks, grasping onto them and pulling backwards as he pointed his knife at his neck.  

“Izuku, sto- aUGH!”  You yelped in anguish as you reached out towards the pair, only to fall forward and hit your already sensitive head against the unforgiving pavement.  You looked up helplessly as he flicked the knife between his pinky and ring finger, using the digits that were previously holding the blade to untie the cloth that sat in the boy’s mouth.

Immediately, he began to scream, as expected.  “You damn extra!  What the hell are you trying to do!  I always knew you were fucking weird, but you really are an absolute fucking creep!  You know, you shoulda just killed yourself, got it?”

“Katsuki!  No, you’re going to make him mad or-“ You were cut off once again by a shrill laughter, the horrible sound grinding against your ears.

“You always were so straight-forward Kacchan!  Still haven’t lost your fire after all these years have you!”  He said, his speech diluted with giggles.

“Stop laughing and let us go you little fucker!”  He growled in response.

Midoriya hummed before continuing.  “No, no no!  N/n over there has something I want, and I don’t plan on letting you two free until I get it,”  He returned in a crazed voice.  

“Huh?  What the hel-“

“What do you want,” you began, your voice ragged.  “I’ll give you whatever you need just- at least let him go.”  Bakugou looked at you in disbelief, yet he stayed silent as his eyes desperately searched your face.  Izuku made a show of looking over at you, turning his gaze towards your kneeling figure as a nefarious grin spread across his face, his eyes shining dangerously as he looked down at your vulnerable form.  

“Hmm...interesting proposition, but unfortunately Kacchan over here is essential to the whole thing!  But I will take you up on your offer to take whatever I need, although I was going to do that anyways,” He said as he stuffed the cloth back into the blonde’s mouth.  He peeled himself off of Katsuki, and with a flick of his wrist, the blade that he was grasping was closed.  

“Alright then doll, let’s have some fun hm?”  The chartreuse-headed boy had begun to stroll towards you, his leisurely pace matching the speed at which he had begun to unbutton the clasps that held his silken vest together.  Your eyes widened exponentially as you realized what was happening, and you began to scramble backwards, pushing yourself towards the other end of the room as far as you could go.  You knew that your struggles would be in vain, but you still inched away from him, covering your chest in hopes that what you thought was happening wouldn’t be the case.  The cold chains cut into your wrists as you strained against them, the harsh metal not allowing you to move further than a few feet away from the approaching boy.  Yet you still struggled, kicking and yelling as he undid the top two buttons on his shirt, the collar falling open and revealing his delicate clavicle.  You still tried to push away from him, your efforts fruitless.  

A harsh pain shot through your ankle as Izuku clamped his booted foot around it, effectively stilling your leg and keeping you in place.  He hopped down onto you, pressing his thighs into yours as he straddled your waist.  Nimble hands glided over your shirt, easing the buttons out of their holes and pulling the button-up off of your torso.  At this point you had given up on screaming, settling for mumbling out hysterical pleas and whimpers, your palms uselessly pushing against Izuku’s chest.  Bakugou’s screams were white noise to your ears, the horrible ringing in your skull blocking out everything else and making you feel as though you were underwater, eyes glazing over as the world around you grew faded.  

A sharp tug on your hair brought you back from your moment of disassociation, the hand pulling against your locks belonging to none other than Midoriya himself.  

“Come on darling, pay attention to me!  No one likes a dumb, quiet doll!”  He whined as he slipped a hand under the waistband of your skirt, pulling the fabric off of your hips and exposing your lacy undergarments.  From there the green-haired boy wasted no time, running his hands over your soft stomach and marveling at the way his fingers left little indents in the skin whenever he pressed down.  Little mumbles floated from his mouth, the way they used to do when you were kids and he would rant to you about heroes or something of the sort.  It was almost enough to make you nostalgic, if your brain hadn’t caught on to the words that let you know he was talking about you.  His eyes shimmered as they caught onto the terrified expression on your face, his arousal growing as he looked upon the vulnerable state he had managed to put you in.  

You decided to plead with him one last time, hoping that maybe a few tears and stutters would make him stop.  “Izuku, p-please, sto-p,” you said, a few of your salty teardrops rolling down into your mouth as you spoke.  He just grinned at you, eyebrows turning downwards as one of his hands drifted to his visible erection.  The screams of Bakugou and your own cries muddled together in your ears as he slipped his belt off and hurriedly took out his cock, palming it rather roughly as he looked down at your limp form, sadism shining in his green orbs as he did so.  He didn’t do anything to prepare you, instead leaving you to stare up at him through eyes clouded with tears, watching and waiting on the inevitable to happen.  And it happened.  Before you could even register it, he had pulled your panties aside, shoving his length in and eliciting a tearful cry from you.  Katsuki screamed in sync with you, his smothered shouts ragged and uneven as he looked at the scene before him.  Midoriya rutted into you, his thrust holding far too much power as he penetrated your dry insides, your hands clenching and another scream falling out of your mouth as the uncomfortable pain spread through your lower abdomen.  You looked over his shoulder at Katsuki, a fresh batch of tears spilling from your eyes as you looked at him.  The blonde looked utterly desperate, hot tears rolling down his reddened cheeks as muffled screams continued to rip from his throat.  Despite your pleadings and Bakugou’s impotent threats, Midoriya continued to thrust into you, the force of his length pouring on and on and causing choked sobs to gush out of you, the pitiful sounds falling on deaf ears.  

“Agh, doll, you’re so tight~!  Did Kacchan seriously never take care of you?”  He mused.  In truth, he never had.  But that was your fault, really.  You had said you wanted to wait, and that you didn’t want to run the risk of any accidents happening.  Part of that was truthful, but you were also just...scared.  Scared of what could happen.  And every time that you would even begin to consider having the ash blonde take you, the voice of Izuku himself always seemed to take over, and you would always begin to imagine how worried he would be for you, and how he would disapprove.  Of course he wouldn’t have ever told you these things, he never was very assertive, and you really had no reason to believe that he would control you like that, but part of your desperate self just wanted to hold onto him when he was presumed to be dead, and still would allow his voice to run through your mind whenever you made decisions and such.  In truth you shouldn’t have let your perception of him control your life, but you really couldn’t help it.

You just had missed him...that was all.  

Now you regretted all those months that you spent thinking about him, the sleepless nights where you couldn’t get your mind off of the boy.  In any case, it seems that even he didn’t care about whether you stayed pure as he ruthlessly fucked you.  You felt a bit of blood fall from your abused cunt from the friction, a sick glee filling him up as the crimson fluid lubed up his length.  He was your first, he was the first one to ravage you and have a piece of you and you would always remember him as long as you lived.  He was going to make sure of that.  

“Nghh- doll,” he began, his voice lewd and uneven, his sultry tone matching the lust in his half-lidded eyes perfectly.  “You’re just so p-perfect, I don’t- ah! Don’t know w-hy I didn’t take you sooner!”  He said between groans.  You weren’t sure whether he was talking kidnapping you or fucking you, but at this point you didn’t care.  At the moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to think or care about anything.  Your mind was too far gone for that, your body drowning in both ecstasy and pain.  Izuku latched his mouth onto your exposed collarbone, biting and licking at it until dark purple splotches littered your silky skin.  Bakugou’s smothered screams began to die out, fading from your ears as your mind grew fuzzy, your thoughts fixating only on the pressure that was steadily heightening in your core.  A particularly loud howl erupted from his throat, causing the green-haired boy to dig his teeth further into you.  He bit down with a huge force, his sharp canines digging into the skin on your clavicle yet again.  A bit of blood poured from where he had bitten, the fluid dripping down your chest as he raised his head up from your torso.  You didn’t miss the subtle way that his lips quirked upwards, malice swirling in his telling green orbs.  He leaned down once again, a yelp falling from your trembling lips as he swiped his warm tongue against the wound.  He drew his appendage back into his mouth, licking his lips and spreading the blood onto the blush pink area around his maw.  “Agh~ You taste so wonderful, d-doll!”  He groaned, causing you to shutter.  His thrusts grew in pace as he threw his head back, pain shooting through you as they became harder and faster.  He cut into you with each stroke, an involuntary moan leaving your mouth as he heightened his pace.  He smiled down at you as the sound fell from your lips.  The grin was childish, his lips quirking upwards in a way that looked far too innocent compared to your current situation.  

Everything grew dimmer and dimmer as you approached your climax.  Izuku seemed to be nearing his too, if the uneven jolts of his body and loud groans were any indication of such.  The pressure built even more as you tried to keep it down, the continuous stimulation proving to be far too much for your inexperienced body.  With one final stroke you tipped over the edge, cunt growing hot and fluttery as you convulsed around Izuku’s length.  He pulled out of you right before his own climax, settling for releasing himself all over your creamy thighs.  You continued to cry through it all, hot tears pouring down your face and reddening your already flushed cheeks.  

You heard Katsuki scream out roughly from beside you.  The sound was muted.  You felt as though you had been shoved under water, a thick blanket of silence coating your ears as you laid on the rough cement, body heaving and broken.  

You felt so confused and so hopeless, the world felt utterly despaired.  

The only clarity that came to you presented itself in the form of Izuku’s manic laughter, the horribly shrill giggles pouring over your limp frame.  A click of a belt and the green-haired boy was put back together, sweat gleaming on his flushed cheeks and hair splayed about his head like a halo.  Although, he was no angel.  Not in the slightest.  

You coughed as tremors overtook your body.  You just felt so goddamn pathetic.  

That was all that you were.  

You faintly felt the sensation of arms hooking underneath your own, strong hands pulling you towards a wall and propping you up against it.  You were facing Katsuki now, and you were finally given a good look at his face.

He didn’t even look like himself anymore.  You had never seen him show so much raw emotion before in your entire life.  He was despondent, his wrists limp and his mouth quiet.  The gag on his face was damp with tears and spit, his jaw hanging slack as a few stray teardrops fell from his reddened eyes.  Nothing about him even looked human.

And yet still, you could hear Izuku laughing.  He approached the boy with heavy footfalls, boots clicking against the floor until he stood before him.  One of his hands shot out and harshly gripped the blonde’s jaw, the other moving to undo the gag.  The cloth hung loosely around his neck after he had taken it off, but Katsuki did not even spare a word.  His gaze was weathered as he glared into Izuku’s gleeful eyes, crimson hues staying trained on the boy even as Midoriya turned towards you and began to speak.  

“Well that was fun, wasn’t it doll!  I can’t believe that I was your first!”  He said, his voice still enthusiastic, albeit breathy.  “I’m never, ever letting you leave after that!  Ah, you’re just so perfect!”  You just stared at him with as much resentment as you could muster.  “And initially the plan was to kill Kacchan over here, but I think I’ll keep him too!”  You perked up at the mention of the blonde, lips parting and eyes growing more defensive and you stared at the boy.  “I think he’ll be able to help us in the future, hm?  It’ll be fun, I promise!”  He said, voice exhaustingly juvenile.  

“We’ll be just like one big happy family!”

[shoezuki]

Hiii hi could u explain in Words why pdp is bad please?? I know hes bad but my friend watches him (he doesnt have any socials or rlly look at news so he doesnt get at of the stuff) and I dont know how to explain to him that pdp is a whole dick agh

OK sorry i dont have much like. Energy to dig myself atm BUT. i have looked thru for articles n other such things detailing pdp's history with antisemitism, racism, nazi symbols and imagery, alt-right rhetoric, etc.

AND heres a tumblr post saying such things w more links on it as well

I had my Own words on it but tumblr deleted like half of it. But while i wait for my muffins to cool heres My Words too thats kinda a summary

TW for antisemitism, nazi imagery and rhetoric, racism, mass shootings, far-right dogwhistles and rhetoric, etc.

Pdp has Always been so ingrained w all this shit for as long as I can remember, especially antisemitism. His own videos have contained nazi jokes, hitler comparisons (i believr to himself at times), him performing nazi salutes. One of the most memorable instances imo is in i think 2017 or so, he paid two indian dudes on fiverr to dance around with a sign saying 'kill all jews', reacted to it and posted it in a video. The people's fiverr account got suspended i believe, and they said they didnt understand the meaning of the words as they didnt understand english well at the time.

As for far-right rhetoric and dogwhistles, hes kinda been 'accepted' by far-right communities, to the point the 'subscribe to pewdiepie' meme was almost like a dogwhistle. It was literally said by a man before he shot up two mosques. Although thats OTHER people, considering his use of nazi symbols n such. Its not without reason imo. Like he had a shirt with a swastika on it that he showed up to a filming event for i think that 'scare pewdiepie' thing years ago, altho he denied that but theres photos of him w friends wearing matching swastika shirts (havent been able to find them but i recall him saying it was a 'dark joke'). Within 2018 or 19 he reccomended a youtube channel to his fans saying he enjoyed the anime analysis video. But the account was literally interladden with right-wing dogwhistles, the concept of 'redpilling' the viewers. It took media like steven universe and inputted right wing ideology into it under the guise of 'analysis', used racist imagery such as editing black people into caricatures on thumbnails, and used homophobic slurs n slurs of all kinds really. After he reccomended the channel it got like 36k subs or more

Also was his instance of calling someone the n word in a video game. Also he compared the gorrilla harambe to the african american actress leslie jones, by i believe using her image in replacement of a gorillas.

Biggest aspect is like. His addresses of this n 'apologies' had been shit. It was always a lot of 'its absurdist humour'. The kind of says sorry once then goes on bout how media overinflated it, how it wasnt that serious, how sure he was Sorry or whatever about his jokes. At some point i think he spoke of the fiverr incident as him trying to 'show' how people will do absurd and ridiculous things and how 'funny' it was. But that falls entirely flat in my mind considering they didnt understand the words, how he edited and posted a video of himself paying for the words 'kill all jews'. Thats not 'wow look how people do ridiculous things!' Yknow?

So like. Theres all that. A lot of what i mention here is within all those links, plus more. Altho one thing i wanna say

I often feel like a hypocrite, because ofc i believe people can change, and past actions arent entirely indicative of people Now. But with pewdiepie n the things hes done, its so extreme, with so much piled together over time, to the original 'jokes' and his shit 'apologies', that i cant imagine hes changed much. And even if so, this shit is so intense and genuinely messed up that it will follow him everywhere, and i can never support someone like this. This is an exception, an example of 'it doesnt matter how long ago it was' becausr pdp didnt just tweet jokes that may have been read in poor tastes, or aged bad, or were deleted but dug up. These are so bad and genuinely disgusting in comparison

[in-tua-deep]

Oooooo the red bock au sounds so interesting! Does Five caught himself thinking of his brothers just as numbers and weapons like Reginald talks in his book? Does he read Vanya book to remind himself that they are still human even though he reads it through lens of someone hurt by them all? And I feel like the handler would know either way about the books but o it's so much fun to see five being paranoid

I think having both books and both perspectives reminds Five that... he’s getting some very biased accounts of his own siblings. I think that when he’s still young, he writes down as many memories as he can remember because... he starts to forget, at some point. 

Vanya’s book talks about how volatile Diego and Luther’s relationship is, and so Five writes down the time Luther and Diego teamed up to toss Five off a balcony when Five kept switching the pens in their hands with pipe cleaners during a lesson (and he will maintain until his dying day that he was just practicing his control, c’mon guys!)

when Reginald’s notes call Allison an “insufferable, narcissistic creature,” Five remembers Allison bribing him to cause trouble and distract Reginald so that she could use the microwave unobserved to heat up some water bottles as makeshift heat packs for Luther’s sore muscles

when Vanya calls Ben “easily manipulated,” Five recalls Ben arguing theories with him at 2am after one of Ben’s training sessions where Ben almost flipped his bed when Five jokingly suggested that he could use the horror’s tentacles to bounce up and down like a pogo stick before Ben tackled him and tried to beat Five to death with an encyclopedia of sea creatures (affectionately)

I think having Reginald’s journal actually helps in a lot of ways, because Five automatically autocorrects literally all of Reginald’s thoughts to be like, mostly inaccurate and much harsher than they need to be. So when he reads Vanya’s journal he also autocorrects and is able to recognize that it is a very biased and somewhat harsh view of his siblings

(he doesn’t distrust them as much as he does in canon, with only Vanya’s harsh words to cling to with no reminder that they were all raised by a man capable of unfathomable cruelty, no reminder that authors can be oh so biased)

outside of his equations, there’s notes to himself written in the margins of Vanya’s book. Sometimes they’re just small, pointing out that Klaus had fought to include Vanya in trap week (Klaus then proceeded to team up with her and managed to catch Five in a snare - he actually still has a scar around his ankle from his upsidedown thrashing before he managed to steal one of Diego’s knives to cut himself down) or pointing out that Luther’s chilly attitude when they were ten was probably the result of Vanya outperforming him in every standardized test they took because of Luther’s ridiculous inferiority-superiority complex

at the very least he has comparison, because Reginald’s book calls Klaus an absolute failure while Vanya’s book called him “sweet, as a child at least”

As for the Handler... she’s aware that he has Vanya’s book and a red notebook, but I don’t think she actually knows what’s in the red notebook! Reginald was notoriously secretive, after all

So the Handler assumes that the red notebook is where Five keeps his time travel equations because aw, he hasn’t given up! how cute!

She makes an assumption that, logically, makes sense. Of course Five is still trying to figure out time travel, no matter how much he denies it! Of course he’s writing the equations down! What a silly boy, thinking that he could hide this from her, of course she knows about his little plans to save his siblings ;3c

And because she’s so powerful and knowledgeable and one step ahead all the time, she makes an assumption and assumes that it is fact. Because she’s so smart, of course she isn’t wrong! She’s had Five clocked from day one!

(The Handler thinks she has Five all figured out, a creature so based in sentiment. Why would he carry a book around that details the torture his siblings went through? He hates his father, why would he ever carry around his father’s notebook! The Handler has a fatal flaw, and it is that she doesn’t understand loyalty and sneers at sentiment and those are two of Five’s most powerful driving factors. Five lives for his siblings and would die for his siblings, almost his entire life has been dedicated to saving them. Not the world, just his family.) 

(She understands that Five considers his family to be exceptionally valuable, but doesn’t comprehend that Five is 100% willing to die for them should it come down to it. Why on earth would anyone value something like siblings over their own life? Absurd. I genuinely believe that the Handler thinks she could get Five to betray his siblings with the right leverage, and so she fundamentally does not understand Five as a person)

To be fair to the Handler, the whole academy’s morals and just. completely and utterly fucked. Luther condemns the murder of innocent civilians even if it would save the planet but doesn’t blink an eye at killing the ‘bad guy’ Commission agents. Diego stabs criminals as a pastime while still holding himself at a moral high ground for saving people, despite the fact that too many criminals are forced into crime by unfair circumstances. Allison used her powers to bolster her career without even blinking but now refuses to use her powers at all because of the manipulation of one (1) child, not even against ‘bad guys.’ 

I mean. Vanya wrote an entire salt book without consulting her siblings that had lasting impacts on at least one of her sibling’s career in the public eye and potentially impacting her siblings relationships with everyone who had every read the spark notes on her book, without the opportunity for reprisal. Publishing your entire family’s dirty laundry as personal emotional catharsis is... kind of a dick mood, lets be real. Especially when you were all abused children raised in an environment of excessive violence and rigid structure. 

Like yeah, of course Allison is good at manipulation and lying - she grew up with an abusive and over-controlling father. She probably lied as easily as breathing about where she’d been, who she was with, what she was doing, etc. The only privacy they got in that household was what they seized with their own hands and carved out for themselves! Is it fair to say that Allison’s superpower is dishonestly?

Is it fair to say that Klaus got crueler as he grew? He was tortured and turned to drugs as an unhealthy coping mechanism, and then he sat down at a table and looked at all the other little kiddies who did not get locked into a crypt overnight. In fact, there was one child who never got any extra training at all! Can you imagine the jealousy? The bitterness? Klaus might have been exceptionally cruel to Vanya as a teenager, she had everything he wanted and dared to complain about it. Can you imagine listening to someone wistfully wish they could join in on missions when you know that the cost for doing so has been carved out of your soul?

My point is, none of these little bitches have anything that resembles a sane moral compass. They’re unpredictable as fuck! It’s like herding cats! You never know what they’re going to do next! Oh? Are they going to investigate in any logical pattern? No, because Diego just remembered Patch exists and helping her print flyers for the annual police ball is more important than saving the world or whatever lol

Luther is over there investigating the moon! The moon! Meanwhile Allison is breaking and entering her sister’s student’s house because she got shady vibes off of him one time and she has never heard of a proportionate action in her life. 

Meanwhile Vanya is going through the phone book trying to call up psychiatrists who have any familiarity with whatever fucked up meds Dad put her on because like, she would like to Not Be On Them (fuck you dad) but also understands that danger of quitting cold turkey something you have been taking for years and would like a professional opinion on how to safely decrease and eventually eliminate her usage, thanks (Klaus is hanging over her shoulder pointing out the ones who will sell you non-prescription drugs for a price and Vanya mentally crosses those ones off of her list to call)

Five is probably joining on the breaking and entering because Allison promised she would sweet talk to eye dude if he did her this solid 

(Five complains at length about how investigating the apocalypse should not be a solid because she would 100% die as well if the apocalypse came to pass)

[king-paimon]

HnK Chapter 95 Thoughts: The cruelest chapter of all times

AKA: The chapter everyone hated

AKA: No happy ending in sight

AKA: Haruko Ichikawa is a monster

AKA: I called it again (and I wish I was wrong)

AKA: Talk about kicking someone while they’re down

Ms. Haruko Ichikawa. You’ve truly done it. You truly are a cruel, sadistic, trolling monster. You leave us with this chapter? This chapter that truly shows us that despite every hardship they faced, Phos gets nothing. This chapter shows that Phos was destined to be in constant misery, and to rub that in with literally everyone else is free and happy? And to add more salt to the wound, you’re leaving us on an hiatus for who knows how long??

This is without a doubt the cruelest chapter to leave us on and this is probably one of the cruelest things a mangaka can ever do for a series as intense as this. I wish the previous chapter was the last one for the end of this year because at least with that one, it would have given us some sense of something.

Man. I’m both horrified and amazed by you, Ms. Ichikawa. I’m not even being sarcastic, I’m truly in awe.

Ugh.

As you can see, I have several things I have to say about this and... Just wow. This chapter. In these posts, I try my best to try and write my thoughts with the most rational mindset but... I don’t know how well I’ll be able to do that with this chapter. What a way to end this horrible year. 

But with this chapter’s ending and the implication for what is yet to come... this marks as the story’s descend to it’s bitter end, and I now wish I didn’t make that prediction last month.

I know I said in another post that I was going to write this in a few days, but I changed my mind. I’m getting this out now while my thoughts are still fresh in my mind. Please don’t mind the writing errors, I’m very tired, I’m writing this at 3 in the morning and I need to sleep. I promise I will come back to this and tidy it up later.

Anyways, here we go:

Haruko Ichikawa: Manipulator of emotions

Ms. Ichikawa really toyed with us with this chapter. So many things happened in such a short amount of time and I’m trying to process it. Also, doesn’t feel like too much happened in this chapter? Especially in comparison to the previous chapters, where everything was stretched out, to then have this chapter have so many things happen all at once. This chapter, in many ways, feels very rushed... and this style of story telling has me very worried about what’ll happen from here on out. I’ll talk more about what I mean by this later, but for now, let’s focus on the story of this chapter:

So... Antarctictite is back now. Adamant is back, too. So are most of destroyed gems, both the ones we knew and the ones we never got meet. And they are all now Lunarians... Hm.

I don’t like this or anything in this chapter for many reasons. In fact, I’ll go as far to say that I don’t like where the whole story is headed for these same reasons: 

The first reason: The emotional turmoil from the previous chapters

For the past 10 or so chapters, I’d been anticipating the destruction of the gems and Adamant. I was one of the people who didn’t like the idea of it happening, though I knew they kind of deserve it. And I remember how sad I was seeing Adamant turn to nothing but dust and seeing how everything was affecting Phos after the bloodlust ceased.

But it all led up to...this. In the very next chapter, after watching those heart wrenching scenes of the gems being broken down and Adamant’s last moments with Phos...we see him and the other gems being brought back like it was nothing.  And on top of that, they are totally happy Lunarians now. Yeah. Okay.

So it feels like the emotional tole that I felt for these characters I didn’t want to see get destroyed...meant nothing. Not going to lie: I kind of wish you all stayed destroyed.

And you know what? It’s kind of funny. In my Chapter 94 post, I said I was sad that we didn’t get to see Adamant and Aechmea interact and I didn’t think there would be a way now that Adamant is dust. Well. I was wrong. It happened. I got the interaction that wanted. Wasn’t worth it. 

So to sum up this first reason: The emotional turmoil that I personally experienced watching the characters I like get destroyed... meant nothing in the end.

Now I don’t know how to feel about these characters. It sucks. I even had a post that I was starting write about on a certain controversial character that I couldn’t bring myself to hate, despite everything, but I’m now debating whether or not I should still write it. I think I will, but there will be a lot of edits.

The second reason: Negation of personal growth

One of the things that has been brought up many times by fans is about how the gems dealt with problems. Instead of trying to address the problem and talk to try to fix it, they chose to ignore it and sweep it under the rug, no matter how upsetting it is to the characters involved. All of the gems, both Earth and Moon, constantly choose to not confront the issue and stay blissfully ignorant.

And now that they’re accepting to be Lunarians, it feels like they’re just running away again. Instead of confronting the Lunarians or having the gems properly talking with each other about how things got to the point where they had to once fight each other, they are like: Oh, we can be Lunarians so we don’t have to fight with them anymore? Awesome. Let’s do it.

Everyone is once again going with the flow, just sweeping the glaring issues that they all carried for so long, and are just accepting the new reality that they are in with no problems whatsoever. No addressing of anything means no character growth for all of them. No one grew from this experience. No one learned that ignoring the problems doesn’t solve them. They aren’t solving their previous issues, they are masking it under the belief that becoming Lunarian automatically solves all of their problems. 

No talking between Diamond or Bort. No talking with Yellow about their traumas or any of the other gems in the same boat. And no talking about how everything that happened lead to Phos doing what they did. It’s even more disappointing how Antarcticite was the only one who showed any concern about Phos or even thought to bring them up in the first place.

Edit: Also to add, the other problem here is how the are conscious choosing to remove your identity. They are not only choosing to loose their identity as gems, but they are fine loosing their memories as well. Not to mention how Cairngorm is once again being given a new identity to go by, from Aechmea, and is totally fine with it. That scene was small but once again, the fact that they are fine pretty much erasing what made them who they are is...unnerving. 

So pretty much to sum up this: Once again, everything meant nothing in the end. 

Speaking of Phos...

The third reason: Phos’s miserable fate

Phos, once again, got the short end of the stick. After everything that they’ve done, from trying to save everyone but themselves, to doing what was once seen as cruel for the sake of everyone to finally do something for themselves to go back to wanting to save the others after the bloodlust was gone... to get this ending for themselves.

But wow, what a cruel twist: Phos’s old goal was fulfilled. Thanks to them, the gems don’t have to live in fear of being destroyed or taken or anything. Thanks to Phos, everyone is free. Everyone now is going to be happy for the rest of their existance...at the cost of Phos’s expense.  

Phos lost everything. 

Their body. 

Their sanity. 

Their identity. 

Everything.

What do they get in return?

10,000 years of nothing but their own miserable existence and dark, depressing thoughts.

In the end, everything that Phos experienced not only sent them crashing down to rock bottom: it sent him to the chore of the earth, back out the other side, then back into the earth, in an endless cycle of just constant misery. 

That’s a theme in buddhism, if that’s what I’m recalling right from @rinboz​‘s posts: a cycle of continuous misery. That is clearly embodied here through Phos and Phos will continue to suffer the pain of existing while everyone else got what they wanted in the end, especially Aechmea. 

Speaking of which, I also genuinely want to know if there’s still fans out there who view Aechmea as a good guy for ‘liberating’ Phos, because as far as I see, thanks to him, Phos is now stuck in an even more miserable form of existence. At least before everything, everyone was miserable together with Phos. Sort of. Still better than what we got with this chapter, in my opinion. (Please do share your thoughts, if you do. I promise, this is not an attack. I’m just interested to hear your thoughts, if you’re willing to share)

But now, there’s no there for Phos. And unlike those other instances where Phos was in a situation and someone somewhat saves them like Adamant and Padparadscha once did before, there’s no one there. So unless there’s some Admirabilis hiding around there or if the Gem/lunarians decide to come to them, which I doubt will happen, there’s no one for Phos. No one is coming to help/save them.

Phos will have to suffer all alone. For 10,000 years. Phos is the last existing gem being now...even though technically, they aren’t really a gem anymore. 

Once again, to sum up why I don’t like this chapter nor how the story has progressed: Phos’s suffering meant nothing to them in the end. That’s the other theme I’m trying to hammer in in this post: Everything meant nothing in the end.

I’ve already seen a few fans react to the chapter and I saw one state that if the Lunarians, including the gems, were to come to Phos to pray for them, the poster hopes Phos tells them to “F* off” And you know what, I hope so too. But this revelation has me fearing for what’s going to happen the series, or more specifically, how and when it’ll officially end.

No true happy ending in sight and not exactly for the reasons you think

As always, it’s hard to predict how Ms. Ichikawa is going to end this series. Us fans made many predictions and a good number of them came true, but it’s the ending that eludes us. Some hope for a happy ending for Phos, while many, including myself, predict that it’ll be anything but happy. And now, with this chapter...I think it’s set in stone now.

Last month, in response to someone asking me how I think the series might end, I made a few small predictions. Some for a good ending, a bittersweet ending, and a bad ending.... 

...and it looks like that first sad ending is where the series is heading after all:

Everyone is gone/moved on and Phos stays behind as a lonely, immortal being.

Even though this small prediction was correct, how it’s all playing out was not exactly how I’d envisioned. It’s worse. And what’s making me even more worried is that based off of where the story is headed, my gut feelings are saying that the series ending is near. And it won’t be to anyone’s satisfaction.

Whenever I get invested in a series, other than worrying about how the creators will handle their characters and story, one of my biggest worries is about how the creators handle their ending. I’m truly afraid about what Ms. Ichikawa is planning for this series because I can’t help but fear it’s not going to end well. It’s not the worry that the series will have a sad/bittersweet ending, even though that concern is still there though I’ve accepted the likelihood, but rather I’m worried that the next chapter or so will be the abrupt end to this series. This concern is because of how rushed this chapter felt and I can’t help but worry that Ms. Ichikawa is now rushing to the end of the story. And to be honest, the addition fact that Ms. Ichikawa is going on hiatus is not helping these uneasy feelings. 

I hate being the pessimistic one but what if this happens? What if Ms. Ichikawa decides to end the series here or in the next chapter? What if the next chapter is literally another time skip, with all of the characters that I once cared about just NOT progressing, and Phos continuously being stuck in this immortal and we’re expected to accept this as the ending. Because other than Phos, everyone’s story, from what it looks like, is at their end now. I really hope that doesn’t happen. I’ve seen great series end so terribly too often and I’ve loved this story for so long that I hope that doesn’t happen with this series too. I love this series a lot and it’s characters, even the ones who I don’t think I like as much as I did after this chapter. I hope the series will end nicely... but I don’t think it will.

Back to predictions on how the story will progress: I made a post a few days ago about how I hope the forgotten plot elements will come into play and the fact that Aechmea isn’t omnipresent. More than ever, part of me hopes those elements will come back and have a positive impact for Phos’s story, especially the omnipresent part. But again, I don’t think I’ll hope too much for it because looking at Ms. Ichikawa’s past works... I don’t think they will, at least not in the way I’m hoping for.

Maybe I’m too used to Western (American/European) stories, where the protagonist somehow beats the odds and wins in the end. This isn’t always the case for Eastern stories, especially stories from Japan. They usually end bittersweet and I don’t think Houseki no Kuni will be the exception. I know I’ve said this saying many times before and with each passing chapter, these words become more and more true:

Phos’s suffering is never going to end. 

And unless someone does something to change the course of the story, which I don’t think will ever happen now, Phos is never going to have a happy ending. 

If I could wish for anything, it’d be that this story ends on a satisfying note. I know, I know. It’s foolish to still hope for that it’ll happen, given everything I’ve seen from Ms. Ichikawa before...But still. I don’t want to lose all of the hope that I have left for this series. Even though that hope is nearly diminished, it’s still there.

So please, Ms. Ichikawa. Please give us a satisfying ending for Phos. Please let them go.  If anyone deserves a dignifying conclusion to their story, it’s them.  Let them rest. End their suffering. Please give them the ending they deserve after everything they went through.

You’ll likely won’t though.  

Because this is Phos.

And to be Phos is to constantly suffer.

Well, regardless, I truly hope you’re hiatus goes well, Ms. Ichikawa. Even though you are a cruel troll, your work is still amazing and I applaud you for your story telling and your love to mess with us. I hope you enjoy your time away and when you return, I hope that you’ll continue to give us amazing content and eventually give Phos the ending they deserve. Please. That’s all I want.

I hope you all a nice holiday season, too, or at least try to.

Happy Holidays. 

Can’t wait for 2020 to end.

[anne-with-an-evangelion]

When it comes to talking about DBH characters who get character growth/a redemption arc, Hank is the obvious person to bring up, and there’s the obvious fandom fixation on Gavin, but what about Adam Chapman? He has an arc in the game that sort of disappears in the fray when compared to other characters but he has the literal journey that everyone wants Gavin to have. But even in comparison to others I feel like Adam completely stands on his own as a good character with so much potential as far as his past, future and motivations.

When Kara, Luther and Alice first show up at Rose’s house, Adam is outside chopping wood and literally turns them away, saying his mom isn’t just too busy to talk to them - she doesn’t WANT to. Of course this isn’t the case and Rose invites everyone inside. And Adam is PISSED.

Also he’s wearing a shirt that says Average Casual Guy which is so funny

Adam is young, probably around twenty, he doesn’t seem to be away at college or anything, rather Rose says they just farm their own food to sell at the market and that’s how they scrape by. Sounds stressful, especially with a bunch of Androids living in their house. It’s obvious Adam doesn’t want them around and definitely doesn’t want any new deviants showing up, after the call for revolution that occurred with Markus’s Stratford Tower speech.

As the scene goes on, you get more information about the Chapman’s and the things they’ve been through. Rose is obviously an incredibly strong and compassionate person to be helping the Androids to this extent, but there’s no denying it’s putting her and Adam in danger. When Kara walks in on their right in the kitchen, Adam is telling Rose they need to stop getting involved, that it’s not safe, and he’s not going to back down about this issue anymore.

His outburst over this is pretty understandable, in the context of the game - even when Kara first shows up asking for Rose, Adam’s first question is, “What do you want with her?” Which I feel like isn’t just about whether Kara is an Android or not, but whether she’s someone there to bust them for having Androids in the house. And of course he’s right, because the cops come by like five minutes later to search the house. They are putting themselves in danger, and even though they’re doing the right thing, it must still be a strain on their family... and it’s clear they’ve fought about this many, many times.

So, yeah, his rejection of his mother’s desire to help the Androids comes from a place of fear for their safety, which is understandable to an extent. But he isn’t just afraid of deviants and doesn’t want to help them - he really seems to hate them, which shouldn’t be an understandable view to hold within the context of the game and the allegory of the Civil Rights Movement, and then the language he uses is like, yikes...

It’s not, I understand they’re in trouble but I’m upset you’re putting us in danger, it’s something else - and of course Adam is really mad, and maybe saying something he doesn’t necessarily mean, but this does seem to reflect his view of the Androids as a whole. At this time, Adam honestly doesn’t see them as being people, which probably makes it even harder for him to understand why Rose goes so far out of her way to help them.

I mean, she sets up trips across the river which have been obviously successful, she drives them to Jericho, she has some kind of contact with or understanding of the revolution leaders because she’s able to direct Kara on where to go, and though not much is explained, her brother (and Adam’s uncle) is obviously totally cool with Androids because he’s willing to help them too. She’s clearly been doing this for a while, or at least is proactive enough to take action and do whatever she has to. She’s even willing to take care of Alice once they get across the border. Literally the hero of DBH but I digress. Adam doesn’t think Androids are worthy of the rights they’re asking for, especially when compared to humans.

What follows this is one of the most intriguing lines in the scene (to me)

What does this mean?? We know his father passed away, and Rose says that ever since then, Adam just boils over sometimes. Maybe it happened suddenly, an accident possibly - or did he get sick? Were Androids involved somehow, like what happened with Cole? What was Rose’s husband’s opinion on Androids? Things have changed since he passed, for sure, but still. Did he hold that same “Androids aren’t alive” opinion that Adam is now expressing? Or is it just that Adam thinks if his dad were still here, he’d be able to solve this issue somehow? Maybe his dad was a politician who ran on pro-Android laws and after he died Adam has become disillusioned with his parents’ worldview ??? Maybe his father died helping Androids too and that’s why Adam rejects them so much. Or maybe his dad hated Androids so much he would have never allowed Rose to help them, and so they wouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place, in Adam’s mind. (Edited to say that apparently it’s canon that Adam’s father died of cancer though I can’t recall it specifically being said in the game, so that is definitely a sad addition to things☹️)

I’m literally just making shit up lol but I really do personally hesitate to give Adam some kind of super traumatic backstory or make him bigoted against Androids because the Black characters are already treated poorly enough in the game when it comes to those things. I’m inclined to think this is just a general outburst of missing his dad and wanting him to be there to ‘fix’ things or at least, maybe, mediate the conversation between Adam and Rose. Idk, it’s cool to speculate on, especially when other characters are given super deep dives into their literally nonexistent canon backstory, it definitely feels like there’s so much that’s unsaid here.

Obviously there’s a couple of different ways the gameplay can go after this - but one other thing I wanted to bring up was what happens if you end up with Kara at the border crossing and run into Rose and Adam there. After talking to Rose in the bathroom and making a plan to all go to her brother’s house, Kara talks to Adam outside-

He says he doesn’t agree with Markus’s methods (which is like.. ok.. a whole other conversation in itself)(EDIT: so apparently the answer is different if you choose the ‘pacifist’ route for Markus- Adam says that ‘seeing what Markus is doing made me realize you’re alive’ !!! Which is cool that it changes and def reflects something different about his character than if his response is always the same!) So anyway he now believes in Androids’ right to freedom and happiness. What made this come about?? Was it after interacting with Alice and Kara and Luther?? I have a theory that Rose knew Alice was an Android as soon as they showed up but just played along - maybe when Adam realized there were Android children mixed up in this too, he began to change his view on things, maybe see himself in them, or see things through his father’s eyes, wanting to protect his family and child. Maybe that’s the lens through which Adam begins to see it. It could be the peaceful pacifist revolution Markus is leading, if he is- but even if not, Adam still changes his mind.

Or, maybe after everything that’s happened, he just realizes he was being kind of an asshole about the whole thing and when it came down to it, a government that was literally going door to door searching for Androids and the people who might help them? That’s probably not the type of place Adam wants to live in. It’s definitely interesting to think about his motivations and what brought him to this point.

And even though it’s sad for Kara and Luther, I find the ending where Alice ends up with the Chapman’s really.. bittersweet-ly satisfying in a narrative way. Found family .... though of course it sounds like they were all planning on meeting at Rose’s brother’s house so they would have all been together anyway☹️

🥲I feel like I had so much more to say but yeah!! I think he’s such a cool interesting character and I love that he ends up on the side of the Androids in the end. And what happens after they escape safely??? Does he start helping deviants too like Rose does? Are they going to settle down and form a commune of sorts with the other Androids who escaped? I love the idea of that loss in Adam’s life being filled up with the addition of new people who care about him, and a little sister in Alice, since he seems to be an only child. The possibilities of it all...

Adam has a sad sort of story to his past, he dislikes Androids and then comes around, he has so much potential for what happens after the revolution - and he’s not the only one!!! There are so many characters in the game that deserve a closer look but I just love Adam..

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep10: Kaiba Embarrasses Himself on International Television Again

We start off this duel by teasing us into believing that this is a part of a theme park:

The Kaiba theme park is a weird mix of actual horrorscapes and animal crossing cutesy stuff...you can really tell what parts were Mokuba and what parts were Seto in this park.

But Leon takes it well, just kinda standing there as he’s done this entire arc--being a general forgettable nice boy who just...doesn’t do anything. Like he gets up, he plays cards, he sits down. Having him on top of a rock with melodramatic Little Mermaid waves crashing at his feet is laughably the opposite of Leon’s whole vibe.

Leon just seems like the type that listens to coffee shop ambient Youtube videos when he wants to amp himself up. This kid appears to attend a private school...somewhere...I think, and just went to a dueling competition in his school outfit because he literally doesn’t have a style of his own hanging in his closet.

Like Yugi wears his school outfit, but he does that ironically, to off-set the amount of makeup and hair spray he has in his hair. Leon wears the school outfit maybe because he admires Yugi so much, but is like “time for my rogue bow I wear in my hair. That’ll scare my competition.” He completely missed the point of the 00′s alt school outfit scene.

I do way too much art to not see the imagery. I feel like this is half my job, and playing “where’s the hidden Freudian meaning?” is half the fun of going to any art museum.

(read more under the cut)

Anyway, Seto got tired of no one paying any attention to him, so he stepped out of his 14-monitor mancave, he very quickly pulled his Dragon outfit out of the (dirty) laundry, flicked a couple sea crabs out of his pockets, spritzed it with Febreeze and called it “good enough.”

Like, is it just me, or has dragon jacket greyed out a tad from last season? Like it’s starting to get a little...worn? Like what funk is coming off of Seto Kaiba right now?

Also notice that he brought his giant stash of cards to the duel. He’s going to put on this show as if he’s not going to pull out the giant stash of cards. But like...he’s going to pull out the giant stash of cards. Like Hell boring ass Leon is going to play his deck of Candyland characters again.

Leon is declared a winner on Technicality and it’s like.

Damn Seto, for reals?

So congrats, Leon, you did literally nothing, again, and yet you mystifyingly  persist on this show. Clearly you aren‘t going to grow a second head out of that ponytail like professor Quirrel in the last act of this arc.

That’s when Yugi’s hazy memory recalls something from the Before Times of “that time period before I was possessed by a needy ghost that eats up 3/4 of my memories and time.”

So Schroeder is Atari. Neat.

Also, this makes Zigfrieds outfits a hell ton more endearing when you realize he’s this Willy Wonka game company owner making toys for children. Kinda makes you wonder why Seto’s such a stick up the ass in comparison when it’s like--dude Kaiba, maybe you could learn a thing or two about whimsy. It could really help out your inconsistent park.

Anyway, Kaiba quickly realized who hacked the park and so, understandably, he asked Zigried to leave, which...backfired?

Y’all card culture is a lot. Everyone in the audience covered their faces in shame because they were so embarrassed by Seto Kaiba and I’m like...not sure why? Because he didn’t do a duel? Against this guy who snuck into his tourney not unlike Rex and Weevil? This asshole?

Recall that the last time Seto played a guy who had a fake name it was Marik freakin Ishtar and he killed a LOT of people (actually, it was Alister, pretending to be Pegasus, but he also killed a lot of people so that still tracks). Card culture can’t seem to learn from their mistakes, although Seto clearly sees the problem with dueling a professional hacker in a digital card game on a hologram that may or may not be able to murder you. At least its not a magic.

And so, tired of being humiliated on television, Seto decides to bust out the dueling gloves (well, not those gloves. You know what I meant) and use the equipment he BROUGHT WITH HIM and clearly never intended not to use in the first place.

(I hope you enjoy this dutch angle that wasn’t quite dutch enough, so it just looks like they’re lounging)

Roland patiently walks over from...somewhere? I don’t know where Roland comes from whenever he pops up, but he waltzed over to hold onto this suitcase as if that’s a formal part of his job.

I say this so often but like...I don’t know what Roland’s job is. He’s like a valet/butler/duel referee/duel cheerleader/CEO/and I will spend the rest of this series trying to understand it. Part of me is like...could Roland be a temp worker at an agency who just gets rehired for a different Kaiba Corp job every couple of weeks?

That weird ass fourthKaiba, I will never understand Roland.

Just one letter away from being a Zigfriend, Kaiba. Just one letter away. I know this because I misspell friend a LOT.

Zigfreind? Zigfriend? Damn it, both of them look the freakin same to me, this sucks! Why can’t I spell friend without autocorrect!?

Just the amount these two fight when Seto clearly barely even remembers who this guy even is.

Leon shows up in the seats, pretending that he’s totally cool about winning on a technicality right after Zigfried went on a rant about how shameful, irredeemable, and mortally embarrassing winning on technicalities are.

He seems to take it pretty well, smiling, sitting next to Rebecca, and then dissolving right into the background because this kid’s whole deal is being way too nice to exist on this show.

Y’all we just had that art meme where people were redrawing that “How to draw manga face” and guys...that’s what our anime used to look like.

I mean look at that uncomfortable chin there, that tapers in for some reason. Those eyes melting off of her face. The lack of any 3d sense. This was an anime ideal for a very, very long time.

Anyway, the “how to draw manga face” is a perfect masterpiece and never needs to change. (But it is fun to make fun of it although I guess the person that drew it was actually a kid, which makes sense from a publishing perspective to have a kid make a book about how to draw stuff for kids.)

We see a little flashback of Schroeder and why he hates Seto Kaiba, and can I just say, I kind of love this little outfit. Kind of a shame that it’s stuffed into a flashback.

Which is when we found out that Zigfried thinks Seto Kaiba did a plagiarism.

Which is hilarious because it was Gozaburo Kaiba who was plagiarizing Seto, so like...who did it first?

OK guys. Lets talk about this.

APPARENTLY, there was some sort of contest to work with Pegasus...kind of like an architecture contest (which is a thing, when a city is doing a big project, they send out a call, and big firms will compete to see who builds it) and I GOTTA know what Pegasus’ theme was.

Like did he say to all the little rich kid geniuses “I would like something that makes my cards ALIVE, can you do that?” Then when Pegasus got a hell ton of holograms and was he like “But ALIVE--it makes it alive, right boy?” And when he was shaking the hands of each stupid kid was he like “So if I hypothetically put my dead wife on a card and slapped it into the machine--could she EXIST. Like...enough? I just need her to legally exist is all, and not like..literally of course...but enough literally to be a sin against God, can you do that?”

I just want to know if Willy Wonka Wonderkid Von Schroeder had any idea he was creating a resurrection chamber for a dark wizard. Like he has no idea that he dodged getting his business bought straight from under him and his soul shoved into a card. And it’s not like Schroeder was going to abduct Yugi’s Grandpa and ensure that Yugi would be there to save him down the road. Like I’m pretty sure Schroeder would have been sacrificed waaay before that whole island contest even went down.

Zigfried got so freakin lucky. I can’t believe he’s mad. But then again...

...the man swims in milk pools so like...maybe his logic center is busted? Maybe he wanted to die in a horrific murder island? I don't know what Zigfried is into, but I do know that because Zigfried doesn’t have millennium rod powers linking him to the millennium eye--so would it have mattered? There’s destiny reasons that Pegasus chose Kaiba.

Course...we never found out where the scales ended up, have we? We think it’s Shadi, but have we seen Shadi bust those out since Season Zero?

Man that would be a good plot twist that will absolutely not happen.

Yo, make horse guy into a dark wizard, show, I dare you!

Anyway, that’s all for now, but if you want to read from the beginning, here’s the link:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[antiloreolympus]

12 Anti LO Asks

1. STOP why are those two panels of her trying to not be a bringer of death literally two obviously different pink hues???? hello??? does this comic not have quality control??

2.Alrighty, read the recent chapter (not the fast pass but the one before) and I have questions

So like, All the side characters are back now I guess? (Also I totally forgot that Artemis went to visit Hermes - how many chapters ago was that even?)

Did... Thanatos and Daphne get together / move in together off screen?? Why is there random narration all of a sudden when LO has Never had it before? (At least that I can remember) - and who's narrating?? Why does one of the side characters need to die? Am I supposed to be invested after RS ignored them for like 20 chapters? (At least its a break from the super slow burn of HxP)

Is this going to effect the overarching plot at all? Do you think RS is gonna try and flip the myths again? (Eros + Psyche, Echo + Narcissus, Apollo + Daphne, etc. Thanatos?)

Also, yeah whats been going on with Hera since she had that Kronos premonition? Why does Daphne sound so happy / smug about Demeters probable heart attack when she eventually finds out about Persephone being in the underworld with Hades? (Whenever RS gets to that).

And what happened to Zeus being all pissy with Persephone and the Trial?

Why are there so many unconnected plot threads? I cant keep up with them all! (It also doesn't help that RS just expects readers to remember all this info after ignoring it - like Artemis going to visit Hermes).

3. If we're being completely blunt and honest here... There's no happy ending for LO. Even if RS ends it on LO Hades and Persephone being "happily" married, you can tell by his past actions that LO Hades will just keep "switching out" for "newer models", so to speak. He'll keep getting mistresses. He'll keep financially manipulating women until they get away from him (one way or another).

4. ok but as a character designer? red and pink are KNOWN CLASHERS. there's a reason ariel's marketing is all in a green/teal/purple gown now instead of the pink one she wears in the movie. pink + red, especially a very saturated, blue-undertoned pink like persephone is, are a HUGE ARTISTIC NO-NO. she needs to get a refund from whatever color theory teacher she had because they l i e d to her.

5. ok but. how cool would it have been if it was trans persephone, and kore was her stand-in (similar to a deadname, but not quite the same) until she decided on her official new name, persephone? if smythe wanted a name-change so bad she could have done so much cooler, better stuff. mtf persephone would make 'becoming a queen/princess' SO much more significant. girl you were already an heiress to begin with stfu.

6. i say this as a transgender man: sometimes smythe's art legit looks like rcdart's stuff. the  weird racial features, the huge hips and tits, the dorito-men? she's cis rcdart.

7. when its the korean imported stuff the webtoons team has to market it themselves and do as best as they can, off the translations, but western made stuff like LO has the creators all input on the marketing (duh, they made the images and banners) so the "Hell" connection is very much Rachel's doing, which kinda implies she doesn't exactly know the Hades mythology or even seems to care if Hell seems more "spicy" and "sexy".

8. no more persephone x hades. if the antis hate us making OCs so much, someone should design cyane! you know. the nymph who literally died trying to protect her?

9. To that one anon - about Apollo needing to drive the sun chariot - Helios is still up there. He could perform the duty of leading the sun across the sky. 

10. oh lo apollo is pretty clearly based off someone rachel knew and was harmed by IRL, which like if that's so then go to therapy? get help? dont take out your issues on a real god from a real place and pretend you're the second coming for homer for the bastardization of a real country's mythology and culture.

11. So you guys know that famous statue "the rape of Persephone"? I think RS took it a little too literally. While the title states 'rape' its more of an allusion to kidnapping than anything else.

Or perhaps it's titled like that to draw a comparison between the violation of Persephone's personhood, her identity and her lack of agency in the situation.

I mean, when people hear the name Persephone they tend to think of Hades wife and the story of how she was kidnapped against her will.

I think perhaps RS saw the statue and confused rape with kidnapping - or decided to conflate the two. She wanted persephone to be kidnapped And raped (for plot reasons), and thus, further stripped away Persephone's agency regarding the situation (because in some versions of the myth after Persephone is kidnapped she finds she is actually ok with the underworld so long as Hades treats her with respect - which he does).

But because RS wants Hades to be the MVP she decided (for some reason) the villify Apollo (who yes, Demeter mythologically does have beef with, but Not for that reason). 

12. Alright hold on a moment - in some versions of the myth Persephone Did wander down to the underworld by herself (because, if I recall, she heard the sorrow filled voices of the dead and wanted to help them) - and in some versions of the myth Hades isnt even present - its just Persephone ruling the underworld by herself like the badass queen she is.

Also, yes - Demeter was a loving mother who grieved for her daughter and she had every right too - but I wouldn't say Persephones kidnapping was entirely Hades' fault (as the comic points out Zeus "gifted" Persephone to Hades *real Dad of the year there*).

Also also in some versions of the myth of the Kidnapping of Persephone - Hades is noted as a pretty mild mannered God - he is respectful of Persephone and seems to love her (and yes, depending on the myth Persephone either ate the pomegranate seeds on purpose or because Hades tricked her) - there are many different variations of the myth. There isnt really a "agreed upon narrative" by everyone - as far as I know.

I think most versions of the story state that neither Hades nor Demeter were pleased with Zeus decision to have Persephone stay 6 months with each of them, but because she ate the pomegranate seeds it was a kind of rule that she had to stay for each seed she ate, hence the 6 months.

If you guys want to get some more broad details of the myth I suggest OSP's "Hades and Persephone" video - which goes a bit more into the canon.

So overall I would say, yes Demeter was a loving mother who grieved her daughter (who was stolen - in most versions) AND Hades was comparatively a decent husband, despite his flaws. Both these statements can coexist - I promise. 

[songofclarity]

Omg I absolutely agree with your meta about WRH. When I 1st got into the Fandom I used to hate his guts but after I read the novel and watched the donghua I couldn't help but think he was really cool. Something I don't see spoken about often is his competence, not only was his sect the most powerful and richest in his reign but also in the sunshot campaign he was up against the whole cultivation world and they had WWX's demonic cultivation and army of the dead on their side as well as Meng Yao as a spy sneaking them information right from WRH's side and still they couldn't beat him and the war was at stalemate for 3-5 years until WRH was betrayed by Meng Yao whom he trusted and treated like a son and only after they lost WRH's leadership did the Wen sect fall. Also he respects and rewards competence regardless of background and gender etc which makes him look more progressive than most of the cultivation world. I also love how he exudes pure power and self confidence he has that sort of "feline" charisma like how a cat knows 100% and without any doubt that they are the epitome of cathood and that everyone else is beneath them and can never reach their level and also how before you know a cat you think cats are mean tyrannical assholes but then after you get to know them you still believe they are mean tyrannical assholes but also there is far more to them than meets the eye and you can't help but adore them and agree that they are indeed superior and have every right to expect to be worshipped and rule the world. Idk why I went into this cat tangent lol but the point is I believe WRH is very cat-like and maybe that's why I adore him so much because cats are my favorite creatures in the world

Much like a cat, Wen RuoHan sleeps 16 hours a day because an apex predator fears nothing. He wakes up to ask if the Sunshot Campaign is over yet. It's not. He gives a few orders, eats his dinner, throws around a newly gifted catnip toy (he’s quite pleased), and then goes back to sleep near a nice warm fireplace. It's been a long day and he deserves it.

OK, on a serious note, "only after they lost WRH's leadership did the Wen sect fall." 👏👏👏 THANK YOU! The war lasted three years. Wen Chao, Wen ZhuLiu, and Wen Xu all died within days of each other in the first three months. The Qishan Wen Sect is never described as stepping up their game when they realized the Sunshot Campaign was serious. The other sects had Wei WuXian’s demonic cultivation and Meng Yao’s spying.

And STILL the other sects could. not. win.

Jumping back to the top of your ask, it's pretty easy to hate Wen RuoHan at first. The fandom blames him for literally everything even though we see in real time how Wang LingJiao, Wen Chao, and Meng Yao all make their own, terrible choices. The donghua makes Wen RuoHan into a murderous aggressor trying to take over the cultivation world. CQL went with the a more traditional cdrama evil man who doesn't seem to know which way is up.

On a side note, I'm constantly confused when I see people say Wen RuoHan declared the Sunshot Campaign on the other Sects because, like, no? It's literally in the name: the other sects are trying to shoot down the sun! If this was Wen RuoHan's war, it would be more akin to the Scorched Earth Campaign.

So Wen RuoHan being at the head of the Wen Sect with four other great sects trying to take him down and holding steady is such a testament to his competency, you're absolutely right! And at the helm of his competency is his delegation.

Does he delegate to good, responsible people? No, and that’s what gets him into trouble, but I think his delegation is also what makes him popular with his sect and with guest cultivators. He’s powerful and he’s willing to share that power.

What's funny about the Qishan Wen Sect was that it was indeed the most powerful and richest, but Wei WuXian also notes how bad their general cultivators are. That Lan XiChen, Lan WangJi, Wei WuXian, and Jin ZiXuan all ranked in the top four at the archery competition isn't just due to their outstanding skill. It's also because the Wen juniors were just... frankly bad. Wen Ning has stage fright and Wen Chao lacks talent. The Waterborne Abyss was pushed into Gusu territory not as an attack on Gusu, but very likely because the Wen cultivators were not able to destroy it so they just pushed it outside their borders.

So the Wen Sect is really quantity over quality. Yu ZiYuan is a badass lady with a lightning whip and should not have died at Lotus Pier, but Lotus Pier was completely overrun so of course she stood no chance.

And the lack of quality also lies with the guest cultivators. The guest cultivator who threw Nie Dad under the bus, Wang LingJiao, and Meng Yao are all horrible people. Wang LingJiao and Meng Yao are noted for their poor cultivation. Both of them would have been killed before the crucial point if our actual Wen fam, Wen ZhuLiu and Wen RuoHan respectively, did not step in to save them.

Which makes it all the more impressive that Wen RuoHan's leadership held back not just the four sects (perhaps closer to three as the Yunmeng Jiang were recruiting probably rogue cultivators and training a lot from scratch) but also Wei WuXian with his demonic cultivation! Didn't the rumors talk about how Wei WuXian could kill thousands on his own? I don't recall Wei WuXian ever denying it, although at that rate I'd be surprised if there was anyone left to fight after three years, so it’s probably exaggerated lol He’d still be terrifying, however!

Meng Yao's spy work perhaps saved the other four sects from being decimated but his spy work was never enough to give them the upper hand. (Although I have a LOT of thoughts about what that spy work was meant to achieve in general.) Did Wen RuoHan ever know there was a spy? Would it have mattered when it had such little effect??

Wen RuoHan absolutely son-zoned Meng Yao and it's infuriating to me how often Wen RuoHan is treated by fandom as abusing Meng Yao in some capacity. There is no sign that Meng Yao ever suffered in Nightless City. That was always kind of the point of us seeing empathy: Meng Yao was in his stride, he murdered, and he was given a choice and he voted torture.

When we hear about the Fire Palace and how Meng Yao invented all those torture devices, that's Meng Yao being honored for his talent in torture. Wen ZhuLiu changed his name to Wen in order to follow Wen RuoHan and Wen Chao even comments that he can't do anything to punish Wen ZhuLiu because his father thinks Wen ZhuLiu is a rare talent. Talent is protected. Talent is promoted.

Wen RuoHan absolutely rewards talent -- which is, I like to point out, something we only ever see Nie MingJue do when he explains why he promoted Meng Yao. By comparison, Jiang FengMian only praises Wei WuXian, the Gusu Lan bullied Su She out rather than acknowledge he was talented in his own right, and the Jin only ever use their guest cultivators, such as Xue Yang, like tools to be used and thrown away. While Nie MingJue gets closest by raising up Meng Yao, however, he doesn't seek to cultivate Meng Yao's skills and instead sends him on his way when Meng Yao has other goals.

Wen RuoHan not only rewards talent but he also nurtures it. Wen Chao is given opportunities to practice being a leader and organizer. It's said by cultivators later in the novel that Wen RuoHan taught Meng Yao his sword technique--the same technique that Meng Yao likely used to kill him. Note how Nie MingJue observed from the start that Meng Yao's sword skills needed work, but we never see or hear about Meng Yao doing any training with the Nie. So Meng Yao goes from being a terrible swordsman to being good enough to kill Wen RuoHan fast enough that he suffers no backlash.

Although is Wen RuoHan the type of person who would harm someone he had son-zoned? The manhua gave us a gift by showing us the shocked and betrayed look on Wen RuoHan's face and the completely unapologetic look on Meng Yao's.

That isn’t to say that Wen RuoHan, as the enemy, didn’t somehow deserve to be taken down, but it does say a lot that the only way to defeat him was through a personal betrayal. And it says a lot that, with Wen RuoHan ruling over a city-sized cultivation sect that welcomed plenty of outsiders, he never felt like he had to watch his back.

[dingoat]

[I mulled over a few possible options for this one, heh, but after some chatter with @cinlat I realised I could mush some of my ancient Ahuska backstory with half baked future plans with vague species lore/headcanons and string it along into something roughly story-shaped. The whole thing wound up a lot more somber than I’d anticipated, but at least I can always count on Crow to soften the mood!] ---

For the better part of three weeks, she’d been dwelling. What had started out as the most unexpected news conceivable had led to a flurry of unanswerable questions; was the news welcome? Was she excited? Did she care? Did she want anything to do with it? But that had all rapidly died down into a sullen simmering of nerves, as Ahuska struggled with something she genuinely never thought she’d have to face.

She had a family. She’d been raised well, and loved, as far back as she could properly remember. Did she really want to go back further, did she need to know anything about where she’d come from? The thought of being connected to Bothawui in any way made her feel ill, but Crow had gently reminded her, over and over, that this changed nothing.

She was Mando’ad, where family is built on more than bloodline, and having surviving relatives from a life she couldn’t even recall changed nothing.

Having a twin brother changed nothing.

Except that it clearly meant something to… him. And the older one. Two brothers, with families of their own, who’d reached out to find the sister they’d thought they’d lost with their parents. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know them, but…

“Crow?” Ahuska tapped his arm with a single hesitant finger, but he’d already turned to seek her out. They were more in tune with one another than ever.

“Mmm?”

“I think I… I want you to meet my family,” she mumbled, eyes slipping to the side.

Crow grinned his softer grin. “Ahhh, I think we’ve already been through that part of the relationship. Was a couple years ago now, at least?”

She felt her ears grow warm, but her eyes turned back to him. “With me, I mean. I want you to come with me to… meet the family I haven’t met yet. I don’t know if I even want to call them that yet, I guess, I doubt they’ll want to either once they’ve met me…”

“Oh, psshh,” Crow made to wave away her worry with a flick of his hand. “You said the whole reason they found out you existed was from holos of the business down at the Ve’lora place, right? Not like they haven’t already got some sort of clue about the life you live, and they still reached out.”

“It already feels so weird, though. They’ve known about me… all their lives. They… knew me, a-and mourned me? They missed me, and I’ve just never known… it’s like they’re strangers, who call me a sister. It’s fethin’ weird.”

“I know, I know. And if they’ve got half a brain between them they’ll realise that too. All you gotta do is meet them, say hi to them and their… uh, heh. Hey. What are baby bothans called, anyway?”

“Huh? What, I… I don’t think he told me any of their names, I don’t even know how many kids he said they each had…”

“What? No, I meant like… y’know. Do you call them… uhhh, like how little cathar are kits, and…”

Every one of Ahuska’s nerves abruptly vanished, and the series of blinks followed by a hard stare made Crow immediately realise he’d made one of those mistakes.

“Sorry, sorry, I just figured…”

“Babies,” Ahuska said, her tone completely flat. “Baby bothans are babies. Not cubs, not fawns, not kits…” her snout wrinkled a little at that.

Crow’s manner was meek, but the way he squinted at her made it clear he was still trying to work out where exactly the problem lay. “Okay but… don’t… wouldn’t there be some word you use for them…?”

“What, like ik’aad?”

“Yeah, exactly!” Crow brightened as Ahuska offered the comparison, then immediately ducked his head as her expression grew harder still.

“Like ik’aad. The Mando’a word that literally translates to ‘baby’?”

Crow’s grin wavered, sensing a trap. “Ye-es…?”

“Not likaya? Not pe’ninr?” Ahuska continued to watch Crow carefully as she offered the Mando’a for kitten and puppy.

“Well. No. Of course-”

“Of course not!” Ahuska snapped over the top of him, with an emphatic gesture of both hands to drive her point. “Likaya literally means baby cat. Not baby person. Not baby human, or bothan, or even cathar, it’s the word you use for a little cute wobbly baby animal that meows before it opens its eyes. You wouldn’t call some random Mando kid likaya if we were talking in Mando’a, would you…?”

“I… guess not…” To the unfamiliar, it would look as though Crow were simply still grinning, but Ahuska knew the way it’s quality shifted that he was in fact frowning on the inside.

Ahuska took a slow breath, pinching the bridge of her snout. “And just the same, the bothese for ‘baby cat’ and ‘baby person’ are two totally different words. One translates to kitten, in basic, and the other to baby. Just baby. There’s nothing fancy, nothing cute about it, grown-ass men and women aren’t bucks and does or stallions or vixens, and I’d be willing to bet that there’s a good chunk of cathar out there who hate the way the better part of the galaxy pretends their own native words for their kids translate to ‘baby cat’---!!”

Despite her efforts to calm herself, Ahuska’s pitch and volume had rapidly increased, her gestures had grown more emphatic, and her attitude was positively simmering. Crow didn’t even need to tune into the beat of her heart to know he’d struck a hard nerve, but he wasn’t exactly sure how to handle it.

“Okay, okay,” he said quickly, lifting his hands in an effort to make it clear he was willing to concede. The crease of his forehead knit a little deeper. “I just would’ve thought, of all people, you might… find it kind of cute, at least? Like the way Nines…”

She shot him a look that made him shut up quick smart, then immediately made a visible effort to cool herself off.

“Let me… try and explain it another way,” she said, speaking slowly, her gaze focused inward. “One time when I was little, nine or ten years or something. I was on a trip with my buire, we had to spend the night in an Imperial settlement. We were checking in to some accommodation, just on the outskirts where it was quiet, and… you know buir’ika was a chadra-fan, right? Well, they had me and her go around to the back somewhere, and wait a while in another building. There was a nerf there, a couple of tauntauns, I think a big old varactyl even... one of the tauns had a fawn so that’s where all my attention was. I thought it was excellent, like, some special treat for me, buir’ika sure acted like it was. Anyway, it was a while later that nuvhu’buir… ah, that’s what I called Jinn, yeah? She came round to where we were with all our stuff, a few extra blankets and things, and we built ourselves a bed right there in the hay and spent the night there. I knew she was mad about something, but she never said why, at least not ever to me. I remember falling asleep hearing her and buir’ika talking really quietly together, and I was wondering why she was so upset. Didn’t make any sense to me at the time, since I thought it was… pretty much the best thing ever. I was too little to get it.”

Crow listened quietly, and when Ahuska paused, he didn’t say a word. He just watched her, offering his full attention, and waited for her to go on.

“They made us sleep in the damned stables. It was years later I looked back and realised that. They probably would’ve let nuvhu’buir stay up in a proper room, but she wouldn’t have anything to do with that. Stables, me and buir’ika, just because of our damn faces. So no. No, I don’t appreciate it when people joke about me going to a vet rather than a doctor, or offer me ‘treats’ for being a ‘good girl’. It’s not cute, it’s gross. And that goes hand in hand with asking if my species have litters, or if our babies are called foals, or if we go into heat. Ugh.” She made an ugly scowl at that. “Rule of thumb? If you wouldn’t ask a Mirialan the same question, it’s probably rude as hell to ask a Bothan. Or, y’know. Literally any other sapient species.”

Flushed, Ahuska found herself glancing off to the side, feeling oddly unburdened to have let it all out, and yet also heavy for having to unload to Crow. She knew he meant nothing by it, that of all the beings in the galaxy his intentions were utterly pure. She’d never forget the way he deflected those stuffy noblewomen on Alderaan that time.

She felt his hand envelope hers. “Did you want me to talk to Nines, and get her to let up a bit on the way she-?”

“Nayc,” Ahuska found the answer came easily, even if she couldn’t quite articulate why. “Not to me, anyway. I want to say it’s different, but it’s probably not, really. I dunno. Just maybe give her a poke if she starts on any other bothans with ‘Puppy’, yeah?” “It used to bother you a lot though, didn’t it?”

Ahuska stared out at nothing for a while.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Still sorry.”

His chin came to rest over her head, and she closed her eyes as she let her face rest against the comforting curve of his neck.

“I’m sorry too. Not your fault the galaxy is the way it is. I’m just… a little wound up right now, I think. I’m nervous about this.” “Shhh,” he soothed gently, and she let her face fall against the hand he brought to her cheek. “You don’t need to make an excuse for yourself. I asked you something stupid. Can’t promise I won’t again in the future, but I’ll always be ready to listen to you. Mmkay?” Ahuska found herself nodding against his palm. “‘kay.”

“And I’ll be right there with you, meeting those other relatives of yours. And if they turn out to be bastards? I’ll find a totally not-xenophobic way to give them a piece of my mind.”

She made a little snort, and let her arms wrap around him. “And that’s why I love you.”

[missholland]

WangXian VS The World

We all remember the final confrontation with Jin Guangyao happening throughout the final 3 episodes of The Untamed. This is where the biggest secrets were revealed and WWX’s name was officially clear. 

As much as I love watching JGY manipulating everyone with words until his very last breath and Nie Director finally coming out as the ultimate final boss, somehow I was left just a teeny tiny bit underwhelmed. Why? Because this whole arc with so much talking has to follow the incredible confrontation at Burial Mounds arc in episode 44 and 45.

Has this beautiful man ever failed us before?

The Untamed writers are absolute genius in foreshadowing events. The key here is to put episode 44-45 in comparison with what happened in episode 32-33: the infamous bloodbath at Nightless City. Let’s look at the similarities: literally all major clans’ cultivators were in one place together, publicly shitting on WWX without knowing they were all played like ‘puppets’ by JGY, WWX playing flute, LWJ slaying baddies to clear the way for his man. Both times, there were random faces talking about how they hated WWX, prompting our dense-in-love antihero to go ‘Urmm... who da hell are you?’.

Dig a little deeper, back then at Nightless City, WWX was under a lot of influence from Yin Iron and it messed pretty hard with his temperament. Being accused of a bunch of stuff he didn’t do, his response was quite negative - laughing, crying, provoking, actually killing a guard in front of everyone’s eyes. 

16 years later at Burial Mounds, his expression is completely different: calm, clear, challenging others instead of provoking, and let’s not forget his cheeky wit that we all fell in love with!

You’d think ‘Man, only if he did that back then’. Well, if he did, we would not have the latter top-notch 17 episodes to finish the series. He honestly could not anyway, not just because of Yin Iron’s influence, but also having to walk that lonely path alone i.e. WWX vs the world. It’s no longer the case in episode 44, because LOOK AT HOW POWERFUL THIS SCENE IS:

WangXian vs the world, and not even LWJ’s Grand Master could get him back to stand with the mainstream. What comes after this is a series of diss by the righteous cultivators aiming right at our Hanguang Jun. Still, LWJ did not flinch even for a second. His commitment and determination to stay by WWX’s side is stronger than everything, even the so-called orthodoxy. WWX, now empowered with the trust and support from his soulmate, slowly unfolded the dodgy events and exposed Su She’s motive. The whole solving murder mystery bit inside the Demon-Subdue palace was outstanding: WWX’s smart tactics, LWJ’s silent aids whenever his man needs, Su She losing his shit, Lan Qiren’s annoyance toward the ‘evil’ man who corrupted his nephew, Lan babies’ loyalty with WangXian, everyone’s reactions throughout the big reveal.

What makes me enjoy this arc a lot more than the final 3 episodes is the action. OH. MY. GOD. As soon as WangXian flew out of the palace and landed in the middle of Burial Mounds’ ground like absolute gods, I actually became convinced NOTHING else in the world mattered anymore. Yes, we already saw LWJ pushing people out of WWX’s way before in episode 32, but this time, their connection and flawless collaboration is simply invincible. Just recall the moment WWX playing Chenqing with red eyes and tears on his cheek, versus the moment when he confidently plays the bamboo flute next to Lan ‘protect my man, engaged!’ Wangji.

As usual, LWJ did not talk much in this arc, but his contribution is instrumental in assisting WWX. Unfortunately, it’s not really the case in the final arc at Guanyin Temple as his role seemed to be reduced greatly. In true WWX fashion, he sacrificed himself for the ‘irrelevances’ (in Jiang Cheng’s words), even though they have literally been chanting for him to be killed. But does it matter to him? I can comfortably say ‘Nope, screw it’. Because just in the previous episode, after learning about what LWJ endured over 16 years waiting for WWX to return, he already established that in this life, having LWJ as his soulmate is enough, he will listen to his heart with a clear conscience. Without LWJ’s love and devotion, I’m certain the tragedy in episode 32-33 would repeat itself.

Arhhhh so beautiful!

That’s my take on what I consider the best final showdown in The Untamed. These days I don’t really rewatch episode 48-50 in detail, apart from WangXian entering Guanyin Temple and the last struggle between JGY and LXC. But episode 44-45 is definitely my feel-good go-to storyline. It’s a grand unspoken upgrade of LWJ’s declaration of commitment in episode 42 when WWX’s identity was revealed in Jinlintai. It truly gives me a massive feel of satisfaction.

[fizzingwizard]

Last week I mistakenly wrote “episode 41″ instead of “episode 40.” Tried to fix it, not sure if Tumblr let me. Here’s the real episode 41!

We’ve been on a pretty darn good streak lately, but this episode was a miss for me. It’s not terrible - it’s still far and away better than much of what we were getting in the past - so I don’t want to be harsh. It’s a much needed Yamato & Takeru centric episode, which I was excited for.

But one of the weaknesses in this reboot is that the characters just lack the strong motivations and inner conflict that drove the 99 Adventure series. It’s not completely absent, but it’s very dialed back by comparison. So I just couldn’t really feel the brotherly bond this episode wanted me to feel. But more below the cut.

Pic of the week:

Yamato and his gentle face <3

The group is taking another break. I will never get bored of watching them just chill.

Gomamon gives Jou a massage. On the one hand, cute! On the other, wtf? XD I mean wouldn’t that hurt? He has claws

Cutest siblings.

Even though they’re taking a break, Taichi, of course, is too responsible to properly goof off. (99 Taichi would be so freaked out by this kid.) He decides to go scouting and Koushirou offers to go with him. I really hoped we’d see a bit of what they do this episode scattered through the main story, but looks like we’ll get to it next week and I can’tttt waaaaitttt

Speaking of the main story, Yamato and Takeru decide to go gather food.

Who even knows what the other four get up to. Jou and Mimi continuing their break makes sense, but I’m kinda surprised Hikari and Sora didn’t want to join one of the tasks, or do their own. I suppose they know they can’t leave Jou and Mimi unsupervised though hurr hurr

So Takeru and Yamato go to look for food and find themselves surrounded by fog. Suddenly this little guy, Opossomon, pops out. I instantly hate him and his annoying squeaky voice.

Opossomon takes them to his amusement park. He is sad because nobody comes to visit anymore. I figured Takeru would be like AMUSEMENT PARK AMUSEMENT PARK!! but literally all he cares about is “aw, opossomon seems sad, let’s give him what he wants.”

Whoever heard of a kid who wasn’t excited by amusement parks.

Takeru does get a little excited once they enter the park and start going on rides. They get on the ferris wheel - a classic Digimon motif - and the brothers recall going to a theme park with their parents before the divorce. Takeru reminisces happily, but Yamato seems a bit more reserved.

Takeru: Oniichan was scared of the haunted house and wouldn’t go in?

Gabumon: o_O y-you were??

Yamato: o/////////o

seriously Idk, I just love that he’s bothered by ghosts, bahahaha - pretty sure that wasn’t a thing till Tri, unless it happened in a CD drama or novel or something. Anyway it’s just, it’s just so perfect for Yamato, bahahaha

I am absolutely going to write a ficlet about Taichi, Yamato, & the haunted house now

Then there’s this weird bit. They come across a merry-go-round and they remember that, on their family trip, Takeru tried to go on it with Yamato, but Yamato said no and Takeru went with their mom instead. That seems to be the situation but IT’S NEVER EXPLAINED. Why did Yamato not want to go on the merry go round then?? Was there a reason? Or he just didn’t want to at the time, and the reason he regrets it now is because this turned out to be their last family trip and there was never another chance to go on the merry go round together after that? I could totally accept that but it’s not explained in any way.

Unless I totally zoned out... I’m pretty guilty of that with this show lol.

But this is the kind of thing that bugs me... we’re supposed to understand that Yamato, at least, is feeling some kind of melancholy, at least. But we have so little background for it. We know Yamato and Takeru don’t live together and that they care a lot about each other. But we don’t feel the kind of bitterness 99 Yamato had, nor is Takeru anything like as clingy as his 99 version. They seem pretty well adjusted.

And, I mean, that’s probably the point. Plenty of children of divorce are perfectly well adjusted. Maybe that’s the reason the producers didn’t want to be as heavy-handed with the trauma this time - there’s more divorced families than ever and you don’t want to be guilty of suggesting all those kids are messed up because of it. I’m on board with that. But even in 99, the main reason Yamato and Takeru struggled wasn’t because their parents were divorced - it was because the divorced separated them from each other as well. Each parent took one kid. You can see how that would seem practical, except that kids aren’t furniture, you can’t just divide them evenly and call it fair.

So... yeah. This episode seems to want us to believe Yamato and Takeru are indeed struggling over being separated. But it’s so low key. It just doesn’t make sense when in every other interaction they’ve had, they’ve been fine. The only previous sign was Yamato being worried about protecting Takeru when Tokyo was in danger, and anyone would be worried in that situation - you don’t need to be from a divorced family for that lol.

Back to busness - they come across... Xiaomon? Chowmon? who is annoyingly cute and helpless. Turns out, shock! The theme park is a trap! Opossomon is evil!

And he has evil balloons! Evil balloons!

Yamato and Takeru fight the balloons but somehow end up creating more fog and get separated. Previously they’d also realized that their Digivice communication wasn’t working, probably due to the fog. I hope we see more of that in future episodes.

Yamato hears Takeru’s voice coming from within the dreaded haunted house and ventures inside.

Here’s another bit that just left me like uggggh. Yamato is scared of haunted houses, so make it a big deal that he makes himself go in for Takeru! He has like one timid line about and that’s it. There’s no challenge here. There’s no stress. The whole encounter is like a minute long.

He quickly finds out the voice was actually just a mimic coming from these Takeru balloons.

And then Bakemon attacks.

Me: Now something interesting will happen, right??

Yamato: Nope.

Meanwhile, Takeru hears the story about how Opossomon has been luring Digimon into his theme park and then sacrificing them to his Monzaemon statue thing in another weird example of this Digimon-eat-Digimon world we’re in Why Opossomon is doing this, or where Monzaemon came from, is never explained.

Takeru also encounters his dreaded theme park ride, the roller coaster. But Pegasusmon takes care of it in a single attack lol.

He fights his hardest but still can’t prevent his new friend from getting sucked into the void. This was another place where they could’ve stressed Takeru out, but he’s fine.

Ugh, I miss crybaby Takeru. The victories are more powerful when the challenges are steeper, what does this show not get about that?

Monzaemon then becomes WaruMonzaemon, but he seems to be a mindless puppet ordered around by Opossomon. I DON’T GET IT BUT OKAY.

Now Takeru does something really cool! He wants to save the trapped Digimon and he understands they’re inside WaruMonzaemon’s hole. So he willingly goes in himself!

That is SO COOL! Why isn’t it a bigger deal???

Why don’t we get Takeru struggling to muster his courage?

Why don’t we get real fear and worry from Yamato when he sees him go inside??

Yamato runs up right at that moment just in time to watch his brother get swallowed up. HE SHOULD BE OUT OF HIS MIND WITH PANIC.

But he just fights normally. Shouts Takeur’s name, gets a bit of a power boost... that’s it.

Inside WaruMonzaemon, Takeru finds out that the trapped Digimon are having their life energy sucked away by the balloons connected to them.

Then he and Patamon also realize their own energy is draining away thanks to their own balloons.

Yamato finally looks properly concerned, though it’s still like... not at the level the episode needs.

He recalls the family theme park outing again, and apparently he promised Takeru that the next time, they would go on the merry-go-round together. The episode treats this promise like it’s a Big Deal, again without explaining anything like they never got that next time thanks to the divorce, or they’re so lonely being so far apart, or Yamato is obsessed with giving Takeru everything he wants... I don’t. I don’t get it. I can’t be moved by this nonsense.

why a merry go round? Maybe there’s a good reason I’m not thinking of, but I wish it had been the haunted house or the roller coaster. It would make more sense if Takeru were scared of the roller coaster and only wanted to try it if Yamato went with him, but Yamato at the time said no, and thus Takeru didn’t get over his fear and the roller coaster itself played a role in this episode both towards Takeru getting stronger and their brotherly bond getting stronger...

Inside WaruMonzaemon, Takeru gives a speech about HOPE and HOPE IS IMPORTANT and WE MUST NOT LOSE HOPE and the other Digimon are like YES WE HAVE HOPE HERE’S OUR POWER and are able to channel their life energy into Patamon so he can evolve...

... and Angemon appears. And I’m like, oh yeah, this is the Takeru episode. It’s supposed to be his episode. IT DOESN’T FEEL LIKE IT. If anything, up till this point it feels like a Yamato episode.

I mean, in the other episodes, the kids’ Crest traits mattered to various degrees. Sometimes they talked about it in words, sometimes they didn’t so much, but you could see the trait at play (uh, not sure how well that applies to Jou’s case tho...? lol). This episode gets to the very end and is like “Oh yeah by the way Takeru’s trait is hope... forgot to mention it before so lemme mention it ten times in a row now!”

If Takeru had seemed sad, scared, upset - literally any negative emotion - this would have worked, BUT AS USUAL HE’S FINE THE WHOLE TIME.

Angemon wins, duh.

And apparently it’s evening now??? They’re still gonna go get food. By the time they get back the other kids are gonna be like wtf where were you we are STARVING

So yeah, I guess you get the idea of how I feel about this episode. Just nothing special. It’s like a summary of the episode it wanted to be, if you know what I mean. On paper, everything looks fine, but in execution, it’s just... a lot of nothing. I mean compare this to 99 Takeru with DemiDevimon at the theme park. Or how about that fan favorite episode with Gotsumon and Pumpkinmon? Those both kick this out of the water, despite being no more complex.

I just so want this show to understand.... what made 99 Digimon good wasn’t just the monsters and the battle scenes, it was the kids’ relatable flaws and problems and the surprisingly organic way they learned new things and overcame obstacles. Digimon Adventure in 1999 had a way of teaching without preaching that is incredibly rare in children’s media. The modus operandi was pretty much let the kids be kids.

This 2020 reboot is not preachy - but it’s also lacking the stuff that made the 99 show relatable.

However. This wasn’t a terrible episode. At least it gave us some face time between the brothers. I’m frustrated, but I’m still glad that the show has overall been moving in a much more Digimon Adventure-like direction. And who knows what will happen in the end - I plan to rewatch the whole thing after the finale and maybe I’ll discover they were doing something totally different with Yamato and Takeru the whole time that I just didn’t notice, or that wasn’t clear until the very end. We’ll see.

Next week!

My favorite Digimon, Raremon, appears!

More importantly, TAICHI AND KOUSHIROU EPISODE, TAICHI AND KOUSHIROU EPISODE, TAICHI AND KOUSHIROU EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!

like I’m sooooo psyched for this!! I hope it’s good but I’ll just be happy to see the two of them working together. Taichi didn’t appear in the preview though, only MetalGreymon - not sure if that means anything. Regardless, my little Taishiro heart is pounding!

[raguna-blade]

So this just occurred to me to think about but shared symbols in the persona series. I’m sure there are others that I miss, especially relevant to the first two games, and right now i’m looking at just the one, but there should be SOME right?

And in this case the one i’m thinking about is glasses. So in persona 4, the glasses the characters wear are used specifically to be able to see through the fog in the other world, that is to be able to better navigate the world that is hidden and obscured right?

Heck, a critical scene in the game shows the absurd difference wearing them makes early on and Narukami hot flinging them away in the final scene is an indication of him more or less coming to fully understand the situation and having “true” sight of what’s going on around him. Which is cool!

But what’s interesting is that none of the Investigation team actually wear glasses in their day to day which is fine really. It’s as much a design thing as a story beat but what i’m getting at is going into persona 5 then, there can be this expectation that if one is wearing glasses they have a degree of special insight/ability to see things as they really are right? Not strictly, but as part of the same story family it’s not like those symbols disappear as a thing in play strictly, they just wouldn’t be emphasized because that’s not really the theme here.

So it’s interesting to me then that every single character who wears glasses normally in this game (with normal including their metaverse selves should they have one) demonstrably has special insight into the world or events going on, or else just general insight. Literally all of them, i’m not joking.

We’ll go in order here, Phantom Thieves>Allies>Foes>Maruki, and there’s probably more i could go into here but for the moment it’s kinda idle thoughts so forgive that.

Protag: So the thing to note is that his glasses are fake right so that may off the bat give you the vibe that this is wrong but well, that literally doesn’t matter for our purposes here. That Protag definitely has special insight into the world and events however is inarguable. Having been cast out of the standard safety net of society he gets a front row seat to a lot of weird things that aren’t immediately obvious. He see’s through the masks of all of the targets to some greater or lesser degree (admittedly not unique to him, but the thieves as a whole), get’s to understand to workings of the world and how it specifically fails outcasts, has inside knowledge on several of the major players (Shido, Maruki and Akechi most notably) that isn’t immediately obvious that they themselves aren’t aware of all the time, and as seen through the Confidants specifically he’s a remarkable judge of character and an expert and understanding people, something he does consistently.

That his glasses are fake actually, now that I think about it, is actually an interesting trait here. They exist solely to put him under the radar, which actually works so there’s that element of understanding appearances, but the fact that he really DOES NOT actually need the glasses to “see” the world accurately perhaps rolls back to his Designated Role as the Trickster (or at least one of them, We will get to Akechi in a second), and his ability to understand how the world works or specifically does not.

Akechi: Akechi is interesting here because in the real world he doesn’t wear glasses, as Prince!Crow he doesn’t either. So...Where does he wear glasses?

As Black Mask. And notably, they’re red tinted lenses, which actually lines up with another thing here. He does have true insight (and he’s sharp as hell we can’t possibly deny that) but he also, notably, has a crazy distorted view of things. As was kinda pointed out during his whole mental break down in the boat, he didn’t have to do like...any of the fucked up things that he did to achieve his goals. Even if he still wanted to kill his dad or just ruin his life he didn’t have to do it the way he did. He’s, one, literally seeing red, but two for all that his vision is keen it’s also more than a little distorted.

But also, as the other Trickster, the more destructive one at that, he also has keen understanding of the world and how it works, breaks down, and utterly screws over those who fall outside of it. Indeed, his insight is miles better than Our protags given he was more or less kicked out of the system from the get go due to family matters and had to actively claw his way back into the system in the first place. But of course, going back to his red lenses, as opposed to Akira who more or less rejects the system and wants to see it broken down one way or the other, Akechi desires to be part of it despite knowing intimately it’s copious failings. He has the vision and the ability to see but also fails to act on it (a thing he explicitly states more or less)

Futaba: Futaba is perhaps the most straightforward here. Does she have inside knowledge of events? Some, given her understanding of Cognitive Psience for sure, but her talents lean specifically in computer stuff, and the varying ways of getting information and such there. Of everyone here her glasses as symbol match up the cleanest with the Persona 4 use, in that her clear view vision is related to the world of cyberspace and how all of that works. That they carry over into her Rebellion outfit likely has to do with her understanding of cognitive psience as well, which while (relatively) basic is still far better than pretty much everyone else in the cast save 1 or maybe 2. It’s worth pointing out that, if I recall things correctly, she basically was the one who put together that entire escape plan for Joker to not get hot shot in the face.

Sumire: Now here’s a fun one! She doesn’t get her glasses until the very very end of the game, when she stops being Kasumi and starts being herself. Another straightforward one in two ways. One, she is able to actually accurately percieve herself as herself indicating clear and unobstructed vision for her self. Easy peasey, but also, of the group she’s the one who most understands what Maruki is doing and why. Despite having issues with his end game, she also makes it abundantly clear that if it weren’t for what he did she probably would have killed herself. It’s an understanding that the others have a little of, but they also don’t have quite as deeply for as long as it went on with her.

Ohya: Straightforward again. She’s an investigative reporter, and a damn good one. She was on her way to cracking something with Madarame, before the story even began she and her partner had some dirt on Shido (which seems on one hand easy cause Shido is kinda sloppy, but also considering the range of influence he has even getting a bit is wild), knows Kaneshiro as a mafia boss despite him not really being arrested, and yeah she just get’s it. She’s sharp.

It’s also noticeable that her glasses are also distorted, in that they’re sunglasses.That’s not “clear” vision since they shift colors. Obviously, she’s going to see things a bit off, and in her case it’s less general insight and more specific to her present circumstances. Relating to sunglasses, at the start of confidant she’s stuck working entertainment stuff which she hates and isn’t fond of, but she doesn’t feel she has other options or the ability to follow her true passions in journalism. And she’s not...really wrong actually. She does have a correct view of the situation, because if she doesn’t stick to what’s what, she’s going to lose her job, but at the same time the degree of resignation is well also wrong, as she get’s into pretty quickly. She still has options, but at the moment she couldn’t really see em.

That they are amber sunglasses and she’s seemingly a depressed drunk i’m sure has no relation.

Sojiro: Sojiro is straightforward really. He understands the world, how it works, how it breaks down, how various things look, has a keen insight into people and events in general, and has insight on the main villain specifically. He’s not exactly trying to upset things no, but he’s made the system work for him to have a peaceful life with his daughter and ward, which is perhaps super impressive given how absolutely obnoxiously petty Shido is.

Kunikazu Okumura: Very simple, he knows exactly who’s involved with the conspiracy. Also tied with that, as he’s also a member of the conspiracy, is a knowledge of how the world as it is works, for better or worse. Like...It’s fucked up, but unambiguously everything he does do actually does advance his goals. As much as it hurt people, as much as it hurt his daughter, it worked. It’s awful, but it worked.

Shido: So...Shido is interesting. He’s especially interesting in comparison to the last glasses boy Maruki, but Shido is interesting especially because well...

Shido is right? Like, his view of the world as it is is kind of unambiguously correct. People in power have the ability to manipulate and reshape the world as they please, avoid the consequences of their actions, the world really is going to shit, and he has the ability to save whoever he wants, and he has connections and power that would allow him to basically reshape things as he see’s fit.

He’s unambiguously correct in this. He understands the world and the systems at play intimately. He understands the people he works with Intimately, to the extent that not only are their cognitive forms almost indistinguishable from absolutely normal humans, but they behave in ways that don’t even necessarily benefit him even in their assigned roles in the cognitive space. I mean look at the Cleaner. He damn near let the phantom thieves walk if Yusuke would have agreed to be his personal artist, and the moment he got his ass whooped he just left.

It is, frankly, a terrifying amount of insight.

But again, his glasses are off color. His view of the situation is, in some way, incorrect, despite this insight. So where does he go wrong?

Once again, as seems to be the case with all of the tinted glasses now that i think about it, the issue lies in self reflection. His view of the outside world and such is correct, but where he makes his biggest mistake lies in both his view of himself as untouchable (he’s not) and that his method of salvation is at all the only one available, or even perhaps tenable.

The second point is perhaps the more critical one. Had Shido used his connections, insight and knowledge for good he could very easily change the situation that was leading to the disaster that he saw himself saving others from. He could make things better if he wanted to, if he thought to, but his failing is that he didn’t and perhaps couldn’t. And critically, his belief that he and his would be able to be safe on that ship for any period of time when the world around it has been utterly devastated is well...short sighted.

Maruki: Last but not least, Maruki. While his insight isn’t perhaps as broad about things, what he knows and what he talks about is...Well. It’s another version of Salvation for sure, but it’s one that the phantom thieves and I think the players have to argue with. Maruki says it extremely clear, it’s better for you to overcome your hardships yourself, it’s better to face your problems head on and fix them that way....But sometimes you can’t. Sometimes you really just cannot do it, you cannot surmount the challenge no matter how much you may need or want to, sometimes you’re just going to be broken and hurt and in incalculable pain and that’s extremely fucked up.And if that’s the case, if that’s how the world is, shouldn’t it change? If the system is broken, if the way the world is is wrong, shouldn’t it be changed?

It’s not unlike the phantom thieves, although the direction and end goal are different.

[pechebeche]

Sorry, I should be clearer. You don't have to post this. I did see the 'callout' but I didn't know them. I thought the Ace Discourse takes were non-issues but then I saw the part about antiblackness and thought, "OK, I see where they got that from". And at the time it looked like someone had informed you but you were ignoring it. If they didn't, and you weren't, that's a different story. I'm sorry you were harassed, I don't agree with that. But you did seem unaware of why it came across so bad.

alright. i am going to outline the two major accusations i think you're talking about - one of which was completely off the wall, and one of which actually was a good critique of my actions, which was then mixed in with all the other accusations.

the first was that i defended a slavery au. that's fucking insane. i never did that. what i DID was not block a user who had created one and later apologized, because the only person who talked with me about it was anonymous. i was not quite as suspicious of anons then as i am now, but friends of mine had been the victim of abusers twisting genuine mistakes and co-opting activist language to isolate and turn people against their victims, so i had a policy of not doing anything based on an anon's word alone, since i couldn't check their credibility. i instead said that i would follow the lead of poc in the community, which i later did by blocking the artist.

in retrospect, it was my whiteness that allowed me to give them the benefit of the doubt that their initial au was a mistake and that they might deserve a second chance. that was not my call to make. it is also, in large part, because i gave literally everyone the benefit of the doubt. i gave genuine responses to an anon who said i was 'playing the sexual trauma card' three times before i realized they wouldn't listen. that doesn't justify it, though, and was a character flaw as a pushover just as much as it was racist. i was wrong for that.

(as a side note, the anon later cited this discussion on twitter as proof i had 'talked over and refused to listen to' a person of color, as if....i just. had some sort of Spidey Sense that tingled when an anon was white. i still pretty firmly believe that a lot of that discussion came from a basic, widespread misunderstanding of what anonymity fully entails, but that's a conversation for another time.)

the other major accusation is one i will freely admit, as i always have, was a fully warranted and credible one in its original form. i had been commissioned to write a kingston/kugrash fic, and there had recently been a rash of discussion that i had never seen beforehand about the ship being disliked. i was uncertain whether it was inherently racist, and thus if i would need to back out of the project and refund the commissioner, or if this was just a personal issue that people had.

without knowing more about what the problem was, it was hard for me to google 'problematic rat curse shipping' with hope of any actual answers, so i asked an open question about what the specific problem was on twitter (which i did, to my little credit, clarify several times throughout the conversation that no one was obligated to respond to or engage with, and that i was certain the fault was mine for ignorance). another user very kindly and patiently explained to me the importance of canon interracial ships that don't involve white people. i asked what i, at the time, thought was a clarification question about the lack of non-het characters of color to ship in interracial relationships, but what in retrospect was very much a defensive attempt to push through the issue with as little change to my actions as possible. they rightfully called me out on being performative; i apologized and promised to look back on the conversation later and reflect on it.

i learned after the fact that the other person involved was a minor, and upon learning it, immediately deleted all of my part in the conversation. i don't regret that. my memory of that time is too fuzzy to know whether what i said would have damned or aided me, but ultimately, that doesn't matter at all in comparison to making sure that user wouldn't face any of the harassment that i later did. they're one of the other people who i really, truly believe was well intentioned, and whose advice i still take very seriously when reflecting on my actions.

the call out post was made the next day. it was possible to frame it as my 'being informed but ignoring it' by utterly distorting the context of the first accusation, and thus being able to use the second, much more credible accusation to prop it up as more legitimate. i am not going to pretend i didn't make mistakes, because i did, and i will continue to. but i wanted to, and was willing, to learn. i think the fact that i still tried to parse genuine criticisms from harassment even as i actively regressed to my lowest points, and am still trying to more than a year later, is evidence of that.

in the end, though, the veracity of the racism accusations wasn't actually the root of the poster's hatred of me. (i actually recall making a post at the time stating that when i talked about people harassing me, i specifically was not talking abt critiques of my racism, and that i was grateful that people were calling me out and forcing me to adjust my perspective. there was a very clear distinction between people trying to educate me and people trying to hurt me.) what they hated about me was that i wrote nsfw fanfic about aged up characters, and that, when told that this made people uncomfortable, promised to make it easily blockable for them, but did not outright remove them, because i felt that as i was writing about adults in a consenting relationship and the pieces were largely a proxy for delayed-by-trauma exploration of my own sexuality, i didn't feel there was anything inherently immoral about them. thats what they hated me for. that's why i was called a pedophile and a bitch and had my chosen name mocked widely. the poster stated outright thats why they hated me. the accusations of racism were, i believe, largely to pad the post out for people who wouldn't hate me for that alone.