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#but I never ever believed people who told me that I too could learn how to draw
palfriendpatine66 · 6 months
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Wip (bonus points if you know who/what I’m working on)
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I. Fucking. Did. This.
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rosicheeks · 1 year
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oh yes you were at court! i forgot that was at the start of that post lmao. i've been to court twice when i was super young for drinking underage and then smoking lool it was so boring and long and shit but thankfully you were just there for moral support, i hope it wasen't such a bad thing your friend had to deal with! I remember seeing you post about moving but i forget if it was TO or AWAY from your parents but that clears it up. I totally get you on that though, i'm living at home right now and i feel kind of similar about not feeling comfortable in your own home. Its a bit different for me, but similar enough. Hell my stepdad even sleeps in the living room too! hes always done that so ive always felt like i had to be on eggshells when night time hit. I used to sneak smoking in the backyard back in the day myself, i got caught once when i was in highschool he made me throw all my pieces out which sucked big time. ahhh i love that, art! you should totally show more stuff on here too, at least if you're comfortable and its not stuff you'd wanna sell, i would absolutely love to see any of it 🖤i've dabbled in writing poems and things i planned to make songs, although only recently. I've always wanted to be a musician but my attempts at learning guitar over the years have never ended up lasting long and i try to learn singing but i just dont really think i can. plus i was always afraid of self expression so i never wrote until a few years ago. i still do, because music is so important to me (which is why i did pick 🎤!) and it makes me so happy but yeah. i have 2 shows im headed to in a few months even so im so excited 🥰my day though has been so boring, i mostly played video games and watched youtube videos. watched another episode of a show i've been watching called Silo, which i absolutely love. im so surprised you had room in your tags still after myself lmao, but i do that same thing i always talk in the tags! also i'm giving you tons of hugs and kisses 😘🥰 - 🎤
Hi hi hi ☺️ how are you doing lovely? 🥰
#I’ve actually never even been inside a court house or room (still haven’t since my friend didn’t even see a judge thankfully)#but it was interesting ngl walking in especially felt like I was at an airport lol#sorry to hear you had to deal with it twice :( I hope it all ended up ok!#also sorry that you understand the pain of not being comfy in your own home#it really really fucking sucks ngl#dude I would have been SO pissed if my parents made me throw out my pieces 😭😭😭 like 1 that’s my babies and 2 that’s fucking money!!!#lol I was caught in high school too once or twice (but I was a dumbass and smoked inside LMAO still can’t believe I did that????)#I still remember my mom walking in while I was spraying the room and I just fucking fell to the floor for some reason 😂😂#my moms friend was over and apparently told my mom ‘I’m getting high from the fumes’ and ughhhhhh I was so mad#it’s funny now cause wtf who says fumes????#show art like more of my Etsy paintings or my personal paintings?? honestly I don’t have thaaaat many personal paintings#I have one that is a tree that is probably my favorite and I have a few pour paints that I saved when I was first starting#if you’re ever comfortable and want to share a poem or two please feel free to send me them!! (lmk if you don’t want me to post it)#I’ve always been in awe of people who can write poetry or lyrics#I’ve wanted to write songs ever since I can remember tbh and I did back in high school#I had a few classes that I actually wrote songs in but it was just the instrumental - I could never figure out the lyrics#almost failed a class cause I couldn’t figure out the damn lyrics lol#trust me I totallyyyyy understand wanting to learn an instrument but it not *clicking* buuut I personally think singing is different#don’t get me on a rant about how I think it’s sad how most people don’t sing or do art because they aren’t ‘good’ at it#also singing is sooooooooo subjective (think that’s the right word lol) so I think anyone can sing if they want to#music is important to me too!! what type of music do you like to listen to?? like do you have a fav genre or even a fav artist/band rn?#2 shows??! like concert???? who are you going to see?! fuck I’m so jealous! I don’t even remember the last concert I’ve been to ☹️#I’ve never heard of silo but maybe I should check it out! I’ve been looking for a new show to watch ☺️#sorry it took me a lil bit to reply to this :(#my depression was hitting me HARD the past few days#I’m feeling a lil better now but still kinda funky#I’m dogsitting Wednesday-Sunday and I’m super duper excited for that!!! just gotta get to Wednesday ☺️#thank you for the hugs and kisses 🥺🥺🥺 they’re super appreciated 🤗#you’re amazing 🥺 I’m squeezing you and giving you the bigggggggggggest hug 🤗🤗🤗#🎤 anon
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entitled-fangirl · 1 month
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A brilliant melody.
Cregan Stark x quiet!reader
Summary: Cregan marries a woman who never speaks. When she finally does, he feels his heart melt three times over.
Warnings: SMUT (p in v), talk of abuse, tears
A/n: I've been wanting some kind of cool transitions for my writing. Like instead of the "...", some people have really cool art there. Does anyone know how to do that? I hope that makes sense 😬
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..................................................
She was quiet. 
Being surrounded by the loud men of the north made her a quiet girl.
Cregan wasn't sure what to do with her. 
"You're a meek thing, aren't you?" Cregan asked as the two walked the courtyard of Winterfell.
In one day, they'd be wed. Bonded for life.
She only nodded.
She only ever really nodded or shook her head. 
He hummed as they continued walking. 
Her father had told Cregan of this days before, as if it was a defect that could put a halt to their betrothal plans. Cregan made sure to assure her father that it was not.
After all, she could speak. She just chose not to.
"Winterfell is beautiful in the winter," he began to ramble. "When the snow falls, it covers all of this in its brilliant white. Do you enjoy the snow?"
She considered his question and gave a small nod.
He grinned, "That's my northern girl. Luckily, Winterfell is warm." He noticed the light shiver in her frame. "Perhaps we should go back indoors. Don't want my future bride to freeze before I can place my house cloak upon her shoulders?"
True to his word, Cregan managed to place his cloak over her shoulders the very next day. It was a wondrous ceremony filled with many from across the North. 
Everyone gawked at the beauty of the new Lady of Winterfell.
But when one-by-one they moved to speak to her, Cregan was quick to deny them.
The two enjoyed the feast after. Seated at a high table, Cregan often leaned over to whisper things to her.
"You look radiant. Like the sun itself."
"I do believe the other lords may be envious that I have captured the most gorgeous woman of Westeros."
"I do wish you'd eat more. You've hardly touched the plate."
It was a strange sight, seeing such a burly brute of a man whisper sweetly to his wife.
"Is something bothering you?"
She shook her head.
Cregan sighed. "I've only known you for a few days, but I do believe I recognize the shaking of one's hands to associate with nerves."
It was true. Her hands shook violently.
"Is it the bedding ceremony?"
She shrugged.
His brows raised and he leaned closer, "You can be honest with me. I… I want you to be honest with me."
The woman looked down at her hands in thought. Finally, she looked back up at him and nodded.
"Aye. I see." Cregan leaned away and rested his elbows on the table, his head in his hands as he rubbed at his forehead. "Then I'll call it off."
He didn't miss the way her brows pulled together.
"The ceremony, lovely. I'll call it off." 
Not long after, Cregan stood and held his hand out to her. "May I dance with you, dear wife?"
She grabbed his hand with enthusiasm. It seemed she didn't need words, for expressions were enough.
He smiled at her as he lead her to the dance floor. 
Cregan was a lousy dancer. Being a northern lord meant there were many more important matters than learning how to properly dance. So, it was put aside. 
He knew the steps in truth, and he could lead just fine, his steps were just too harsh, his movements too calculated. 
It was just not how he expressed himself.
She, though, was marvelous.
It was as if each step was not one of a practiced art. It was as if it was how she naturally moved. 
Cregan was in so much awe that he nearly forgot to continue the lead. 
She didn't need words to express herself. Her movements were enough.
He felt as if he was finally seeing her. 
And she was beautiful.
The song ended, to Cregan's surprise as he snapped from his thoughts, and the guests clapped for their Lord and Lady of Winterfell.
Honoring his word, Cregan forbade the ceremony. No other living creature would be a witness to their consummation but the two of them.
After laying her upon the rich furs upon their bed, he was careful to properly prepare her to take him. 
Now, he forced himself to do so slowly, his hips slowly pushed to meet hers as he entered her.
She hissed lightly at the pain, and he swore he heard a small noise come from her throat instinctually.
He began to wonder what her voice sounded like.
Once seated in her fully, he paused to give her a moment to breathe. Her breath was quickened and her hands gripped his biceps as she tried to regain herself.
Cregan placed a light kiss to her lips, basking in the newness of her lips against his, as well as the eagerness she gave back as they did so.
Her hands slid up to cup his cheeks, suddenly gaining confidence.
"Have you adjusted, pretty girl?"
He shifted his hips, not thinking much as he waited for her response.
The sweetest breathy moan left her lips.
Cregan's eyes widened, and he had to stop himself from letting his lust take over then and there.
He tucked his face into her neck, laying heavy kisses along the way. "Easy now. Just tap me to stop."
And with that, he began to move his hips.
Not much came from her lips. She was used to not using her voice, that it almost seemed as if it was more work to use it then stay silent. It was hard for Cregan to tell her feelings, so he often had to tilt his head back up to gauge her reaction by her expressions alone.
He didn't realize how much he spoke in general until he was around her. How someone could happily be so silent, he wasn't sure.
But if the scratching against his back was any measure, he'd say he was pleasing her well.
"You're taking me so pretty."
She practically preened at his praise, her breath catching or escaping each time.
At one point, he pressed his hips firmly to hers, reaching deeper than he had before.
His face found its way to her neck again, her hands pulling at his hair.
But he paused, catching his breath and trying to instill a reaction from her.
Her hands recaptured his hair and pulled again. When he still didn't move, she tried to shift her hips to gain more friction. He was enjoying every second, despite the mere torture it was to not chase his own high.
He pressed a sloppy kiss to her neck, "Patience."
Her motions should have been enough of a reaction for him, but he wanted more. He'd do anything to hear her voice more. 
One of his hands moved down to her clit, pressing his thumb down and circling the bundle of nerves. 
A small whine came from her throat.
He felt warmth spread across his body, "Needy, aren't you?"
Her hand made a last-ditch effort to pull at his hair. He could hear her barely contained breath in his ear and a small voice.
"…Cregan… please…"
Cregan almost finished then.
Her voice was so soft. So sweet. Hoarse from its lack of use and so breathy. 
It was beautiful.
But guilt overshadowed all of that. He shouldn't have pushed her to the point of speaking. 
His hand trailed up her body to the bed, preparing himself again. "I won't deny you any longer. I'll give you what you want, sweet girl."
She began to speak to him after that. 
The times were few and far between, but nonetheless, he never took a single word for granted. 
Because she only spoke to him. 
 She never spoke her mind in full, so Cregan took it upon himself to do it for her. 
In meetings, she'd pull at his sleeve, prompting him to instinctually bend his head down towards her to properly hear her soft voice amongst the others. That was how she contributed to meetings: to tell her thoughts to the only one there she trusted. Over time, the men in the meetings caught on, and would pause to hear what the Lady had to say. It was a game of telephone, barely hearing a peep from the woman as she spoke to Cregan, and he voiced it aloud in his own manner. 
When they walked through the busy streets of the city, he kept his hand wrapped around hers, promising to give his attention to her when she squeezed it tightly.
Outside of their chambers, their form of communication was touch, often tapping one another gently. 
Inside, however, soft exchanges were common. She would only speak calculated thoughts, not one to ramble, but she would talk of her day, her newest book, or questions of things she always wondered about the man. 
In turn, he'd respond in the same manner, quieting himself naturally to match her tone as the two gazed into the flames of the fire that warmed the room.
"I wish you'd dance more."
Her head snapped up to him with furrowed brows.
"You're a beautiful dancer. I only wish I could see it more." He leaned against the back of the sofa. "Who taught you?"
"My mother," she spoke softly. "She was wonderful."
He smiled when he noticed the reminiscent look in her eyes at the thought of her mother. He pushed a strand of her hair from her face. "Tell me about her."
She leaned into his touch. "Father mocked me when I wouldn't speak. Said it was shameful. But mother always told me that feelings are expressed by actions rather than words."
"How so?" He absentmindedly asked.
"Men often say that they love their wives, but their actions are rather the opposite."
He hummed as he considered it. "Have I ever made you feel that way?"
"No."
It was the quickest response he'd heard from her. It only fueled his need to know as much as he could. To know her fully.
"Have you always been so quiet?"
As if a switch had been flipped, everything about her quieted.
Her breathing. Her voice. Her expressions. Her thoughts.
Silent. 
Whatever had happened had to have been traumatic to instill such a reaction from her.
"Forgive me. That was too forward, even for me to ask-"
"-I don't wish to talk about it today."
He felt relieved that his question hadn't dissolved her trust in him completely. 
"Well," he pulled her to him. "When you are ready to speak, I shall listen."
The next day, Cregan meticulously planned. And his efforts had paid off. 
She walked into the meeting room at the same time she did every week, to see it lacking its usual members. 
The table was pushed off to the side, and Cregan stood in its place as he donned a bright smile at the sight of her. 
Against the back wall, a few musicians stood with their instruments. 
Confusion spread through her and a wave of anxiety as well, prompting her to only stare at him blankly.
He was quick to correct it, stepping forward towards her. "I've excused the council today. I… I wanted to see you dance again."
Once her mind warmed up to the idea, a bright smile came across her face, accepting the hand that he extended to her. 
"I must admit, my love," Cregan said as he stepped in time with the music. "I am not a gentle man. But I am trying. For you."
She nodded, not daring to speak her overwhelming thoughts at the moment. 
After, they sat at the large dining table, the emptiness of it mattering not to the two lovers who sat together at one end.
"My uncle," she stated, breaking the silence.
His head tilted up to meet her gaze, "Hmm?"
Her cheeks turned a slight pink, "You asked how I became so quiet." 
Recognition flowed over his face, "Ah. Yes, I did." He sipped his wine and leaned towards her. "Your uncle, then?"
She nodded. 
"He was unkind to you?"
She picked at the skin of her fingers, seemingly reliving the moments in her mind. 
A battle within herself.
He put a hand on her thigh, "I will not force you to tell me things you do not wish to."
"I do," she insisted. "But I know not how to."
"Begin to speak, and I shall piece it all together."
She took a deep breath. "My uncle hit me when I spoke out of turn. At first, at least. Then… it was whenever I spoke at all."
He felt ice go down his veins and a feeling like a rock going down his throat. 
But being such a skittish thing, he knew not to react too harshly.
"When I told my father, he…" her eyes became glassy. "He said he was right for it. That… that a girl was made to only… shut her mouth and open her legs."
He couldn't keep it in anymore. "And you believed them?"
"When I spoke to you for the first time, I feared you'd be the same."
"I bask in the sound of your voice, my girl. I hope that you see that."
A warm tear ran down her cheek as she looked up at him.
"Oh, sweet woman," he cooed as he cupped her cheek. "Do not cry over false words."
When more tears began to fall, he quickly pushed her chair out from the table and pulled her into his lap.
She tucked her face into his neck, melting against him as if she wished to disappear. 
He held her close, not caring when his tunic became damp. When he did speak, it was soft and assuring whispers.
Once she caught her breath, she pulled away from him. "Forgive me."
"I don't believe I will."
Her eyes widened, and he realized his mistake in word choice. 
"Sweet girl, you've nothing to apologize for. That's all I meant."
She relaxed at that. She reached up and wiped her cheeks with a sniffle. "Actions have always spoke more than words."
He reached up and brushed a stray tear from her cheek. "Have they?" He asked softly.
She felt a smile come to her lips at his touch. "You are different. You could speak or act, and still, I'd only hear a brilliant melody to which I can always trust."
He never felt such love radiate as it did then.
.......................................
Taglist: @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @8812-342, @thorins-queen-of-erebor, @kingdomzeldaquest @nyxbranwenn, @callsignwidow, @a1lexh-blog, @alyssa-dayne, @ethereal-athalia
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waitimcomingtoo · 5 months
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The Script
Pairing: Peter Parker x reader
Synopsis: you and Peter break up once you find out his secret and he falls apart
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“We broke up.”
The words fell out of Peter’s mouth as he pulled his mask from his tear stained face. Ned turned around in his desk chair and pulled his earbuds out of his ears.
“What? No way.” He laughed dismissively at the assumed joke until he noticed the red rim around Peter’s eyes.
“It’s true. She broke up with me. She doesn’t want to be with me anymore.” Peter repeated through a childlike cry.
“But I thought you had a date tonight? Did something happen?”
10 minutes earlier
“Peter?”
Peter froze in the alleyway and stopped looking for his backpack. He turned around slowly and saw you standing there under a harsh street light with his backpack in your arms. The webs he had shot on it to keep it secured against the wall were still hanging off.
“It’s you? You’re the Spiderman?” You asked in a voice barely above a whisper. You were looking at him with a mixture of betrayal and confusion as you clutched his backpack like you were a child with a teddy bear. Peter still had his mask on so he stayed dead silent.
“Say something.” You seethed, a newfound anger in your voice and eyes. Peter gulped and nodded his head, knowing there was no point in lying.
“I am.” He said, making your face crumble when you heard his voice. You held the backpack tighter and stared at him as your face crumbled.
“What are you doing out here? Did you follow me?” Peter asked you.
“No. You never showed up to our date. I called you when I was walking home. Alone. I heard your phone ringing in this alley way. It was in your backpack. Here’s your stupid fucking backpack.” You said through clenched teeth and threw the backpack at him. He caught it with ease and dropped it to the floor.
“There have been Spiderman sightings on Youtube for years. Years. You never told me?” You asked and surveyed every inch of his suit as you saw it up close for the first time.
“Nobody knows.” He said quickly. “I mean, May knows. And Ned. And a handful of people I work with. But that’s it, I swear. I don’t expect you to understand this all right now but please believe that I have to keep my identity a secret for my safety. And your safety too.”
“You don’t expect me to understand?” You laughed and tilted your head to the side as if to ask if he was serious.
“I just mean that I know this is a lot to process right now.”
“It’s not a lot. You’re the Spiderman and you never thought that was something I should know. I had to find out on accident after getting stood up for the hundredth time. But, sure, I’m glad Ned knows.” You nodded and looked up so your tears wouldn’t fall.
“I would’ve have told you eventually. I just needed more time. If people knew who I was, everything would change. I wouldn’t be able to help people there way I do now. I couldn’t tell anyone.”
“Since when am I just “people”and “anyone” to you?” You shook your head. “How could you keep this from me for this long? We’ve been dating for over a year. And I’ve known you since middle school. How much time did you need?“
“I don’t know. It just never felt like the right moment to say it. I wanted to tell you so many times.”
“You just never did.” You shrugged. Peter recognized that the situation was quickly escalating and you were not reacting the way he always imagined you would.
“I don’t understand why you’re getting upset right now.” Peter said calmly. “I thought you’d be happy to understand why I have to miss so many dates and flake all the time.”
“You thought I’d be happy to learn that you’ve been lying to me for our entire relationship?” You laughed again as tears fell down your face.
“I wasn’t lying.” He defended. “I just couldn’t tell you the truth yet.”
“Yet. Right.” You smiled tightly. “We’re over a year in but haven’t gotten to the point where you can be honest with me. I see.”
“I am honest with you. This is the only thing I’ve ever lied to you about. I promise.” He said and tried to step closer to you. You immediately stepped back and hugged yourself.
“I thought you loved me.” You said as you stared at the ground.
“I do love you. How can you even question that?” He laughed in shock. You looked up at him and he saw that your anger had turned to sadness.
“Peter, you stood me up countless times. Tonight included. You let me cry myself to sleep for so many nights. All those times I walked home alone after already getting to the restaurant or watched movie by myself through tears because you couldn’t bother to show up. You knew I was feeling insecure lately about the distance between us but you still decided to say nothing to cue me in as to why it was happening. Do you know how painful it is to feel someone you love pulling away and have them tell you your suspicions are all unfounded? How long would you have let me feel that way if I hadn’t caught you tonight?”
“I…I don’t know. I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how this was affecting you.” Peter said quietly.
“Of course you didn’t.”
“Look, I know this is really upsetting now, but I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” Peter said and put his hands on his shoulders. You pushed him off of you and took a step back. Peter gulped and wondered how he was going to make it out of this conversation alive because he had never seen you reject him like this.
“You always say that. And you never do. I have a long list of things I’m still waiting for you to make up for. Why should I believe this time is different?” You asked him and folded your arms.
“It will be different. I promise. I’ll fix this. Stop walking away from me.” Peter pleaded and reached out to touch your face.
“It’ll be different. You promise. You say the same thing every time. And yet, I always end up crying over you. I shouldn’t have to cry over a relationship I’m still in.” You said as you pushed his hand away from you. An anxiety built in Peter’s stomach as he was used to you telling him it was fine every time he had disappointed you in the past. This time was clearly different and he didn’t know what to do. You turned and started to walk away from him so he quickly followed after.
“Where are you going?”
“Home, Peter.” You said without stopping.
“No. You can’t leave now. We have to talk about this. I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. You can take it all out on me. Just don’t go, please.” Peter begged as he stepped in front of you to stop you.
“I don’t want to cry anymore, Peter. I’m done. This is done.” You cried and pushed past him to keep walking. Peter froze when he heard you use that word and felt his blood run cold.
“What? Done? Done with what?”
“With you. With us. With all of it. I’m not doing this anymore. I’m breaking up with you.” You said as you turned around to look at him. Peter felt his stomach drop and could barely hear you over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears.
“What? We can’t just break up. I love you.” He protested as he got that feeling in his nose that told him he was about to cry.
“That’s not good enough for me.” You shook your head.
“What?”
“You can say you love me as much as you want but until you prove that, I can’t be with you. I won’t be with you. I’m done.” You repeated and turned to walk away again. Peter quickly ran after you and dropped down to his knees in front of you.
“No, no. No. Please. Don’t leave me. Please. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, baby. Just give me one more chance.” He begged as he took both your hands. You looked down at him for a long time as you thought things he wished he could hear.
“Please.” He whispered, barely audible. You looked up again but it was no use to stop your tears from falling.
“Say something.” He pleaded and squeezed your hands.
“I’m saying goodbye.” You said after a beat of silence. Peter made the mistake of letting his hopes build up during that silence. He stayed on his knees as you pulled your hands out of his and walked away. His tears fell rapidly down his face and it wasn’t long before his heartache turned into misplaced anger. He got off his knees and turned in your direction.
“You’re not being fair.” He called down the street. You stopped in your tracks and turned around.
“Excuse me?”
“This isn’t fair. I didn’t ask to be bitten. I didn’t ask for this life and all this responsibility. But it happened to me and I’ll never know why but I do know that I have to do something about it. I wish I could be a normal guy my age and take my girlfriend on dates, but I can’t. I have a duty to this city to protect it. I hate that it’s true but sometimes, I have to chose helping someone in need over spending time with you. You’re acting like I went out of my way to neglect you on purpose.”
“I understand that you didn’t choose this, but you could have told me all of that from the start. Then maybe I would’ve been more sympathetic. But right now, all I can think about is every little lie you told me to keep me in the dark. Oh, I’m sick. Oh, I have homework. Oh, I have to help my boss with something. Tonight, you told me you weren’t gonna make it to our date because your aunt needed help with something. You didn’t even care enough to lie about what she needed help with. But, yet, at least I got a lie tonight. Sometimes you just don’t show up.”
“I had to lie, okay? Do you have any idea how much danger I’d be in if you let it slip who I really was?”
“So is it that you couldn’t tell anyone or you couldn’t trust me not to tell?” You asked as you walked back up to him.
“You know how you are. You tell your friends everything.” He said coldly.
“Are you seriously saying this is my fault?” You raised your eyebrows.
“I’m not saying it’s your fault.” He sighed. “I’m just saying that you’re being kind of selfish right now.“
“I’m being selfish?”
“Yes, you are. It’s selfish to expect me to prioritize you over the safety of-“
“Of who?” You cut him off. “Of literally all of New York? Of the world? Where does your domain of responsibility end? Who do you prioritize me over? Where do I rank? When do I matter to you?”
“That’s not fair.” Was all he could say because he didn’t know the answer to your questions.
“You know what else isn’t fair? Making me have to be the only bad guy here. Because the funny thing is that I would have been proud of you. I would have been honored to be the girlfriend of someone who risked their life and gave their time to protect people they didn’t even know. But you never gave me the opportunity to feel that way. You chose to lie to me. You chose this over me every single time. You never chose me. That’s why we’re breaking up. I would have understood if you needed to prioritize saving lives over dates with me but I cannot understand you lying to my face every single day for years. I spent birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and countless nights staring at the empty seat I saved for you that you never showed up to. So no, I don’t think I’m being selfish right now. I don’t think it was selfish of me to share my boyfriend with all of New York.”
Peter was quiet again as he processed what you had said. There was no way to undo what he had done and it was clear apologizing wasn’t cutting it this time.
“I don’t know how to be without you. You’re my best friend. None of this matters without you.” Peter said in a small voice. You sighed and felt sympathetic towards him for just a moment.
“Peter, you were and always will be my first love. That’s always going to mean something to me. But now I have to look back at our relationship and never know what was real and what was a lie. If you’re not going to choose me, then I will. I’m done waiting around for you. I’m done.”
“Please, don’t give up on me. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He croaked out.
“But you did.”
“I know. I know I did. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby. I’ll never stop trying to make things right.” He pleaded and tried to reach for you again.
“Don’t bother, Peter. You need to stay away from me for a while.” You told him in a calm voice.
“What? How long?” He blinked in disbelief.
“I don’t know. A long time.”
“But can we at least be friends? Like we were before?” He asked desperately.
“We can’t be friends.” You shook your head and turned to leave again.
“What? Not even friends?” His voice cracked as he called after you.
“I can’t be your friend. I can’t be in any kind of relationship with you. That’s what I’m trying to say here. I don’t trust you.”
“Ever?” He squeaked out. “We can’t ever find our back to each other?”
You didn’t answer him as you walked home alone. Peter stood on the sidewalk for a long time, unsure of what to do with himself now. He wanted to run after you and get you to see his side, but he knew that would just make things worse. You had said what you needed to say and he had to respect that as much as it pained him to see you walk away. Instead of going after you, he swung to Ned’s house and climbed through his window.
“We broke up.” The words fell out of Peter’s mouth as he pulled his mask from his tear stained face.
Peter let a month pass before he tried to speak to you again. Minus a few texts and voicemails left on particularly miserable nights, he had left you alone for the most part. But after counting down the 31 painfully long and quiet days without you, he went up to you in the hallway on campus one day.
“Hey.” He greeted you with an anxious smile. You stopped walking and looked behind you to make sure you were the one he was talking to.
“Hi.” You said with knit eyebrows of confusion.
“How are you? How have you been?”
“I’m fine.” You said flatly.
“Did you just come from class? Was it okay?”
“Um, I really don’t want to be mean here but why are you talking to me?” You asked him. Peter blinked in surprise at your response and lost all the confidence he had built up.
“Oh, um. I don’t know. We haven’t talked into a month. I was giving you space.”
“Why’d you stop?”
“Stop what?”
“Giving me space.” You replied. “I still don’t want to talk to you.”
“But it’s been a month.” He pointed out and realized how silly he sounded as it came out of his mouth.
“Okay? We ended a year long relationship and years of friendship. We can’t just go back to normal after that.”
“But…but we’re different.” He stammered. “We were different. I thought, I don’t know, maybe…”
“Maybe what? I’ll just forget about the shit you put me through?” You asked when he trailed off. He shut his mouth and went quiet and you couldn’t help but feel bad at the deer in headlights look he had in his eyes.
“Peter, I told you.” You sighed. “We can’t be friends.”
“I know we can’t go right back to how we were but we don’t have to pretend the other doesn’t even exist.” He insisted.
“No, Peter, you’re not understanding. I won’t be your friend. I won’t even fake niceties with you. I’m not trying to be mean but I don’t want you in my life in any capacity. I’m not changing my mind on this.”
“We can’t just never speak again. Our story can’t end like this.” He said quietly and you could tell he was on the verge of tearing up.
“It wasn’t supposed to. But it is. So please, just leave me alone.” You asked calmly so that he wouldn’t break down.
“I can’t. This is killing me. You and I not being together doesn’t make sense to me. Please. I’ll do anything to make this right. I still love you and-“
“Peter. Please. We’re at school.” You cut him off and uncomfortably looked around for who was listening.
“You’re telling me you don’t feel anything for me anymore? Because I don’t believe that. I know you. I know you can’t shake things that easily.”
“I didn’t think so either. But I’ve never been hurt like this.”
“Then can we please go somewhere and talk? I’ll listen this time. I swear.” Peter pleaded and stepped forward to touch your arm. You stared at him for a minute and looked sympathetic so he thought you might say yes.
“I can’t.” You said finally. “I have class. I have to go.”
“Oh, okay.” He nodded in disappointment. “Maybe some other time then. Just please know how sorry I am for hurting you.”
“You don’t need to keep apologizing, Peter.” You sighed. “I’ve moved on. I think you should too.”
“You’ve moved on? Like, with another guy?” Peter blinked a few times to stop the tears he felt threatening to spill out at this new bit of information.
“Not that it would be any of your business if I did, but no.” You amswered. “I just mean that I’d been mourning our relationship before it even ended so I accepted our breakup a long time ago. I’ve moved on now.”
“Were you really that unhappy?” Peter asked in a small voice.
“Well, yeah, Peter.” You admitted. “I loved you when you were around but it felt awful the nights you were gone. I felt completely alone a lot of the time. And even when you were with me, I was never sure you wanted to be there.”
“I always wanted to be with you.” He promised. “If you ever believe something I say again, just know how badly I wished I could have been there with you.”
You chewed your bottom lip and stared into his eyes as you tried to decide if you should believe him or not. You swore never to believe another word out of his mouth but his tired eyes seemed so genuine that you knew there must be truth to his words. But even if he was telling the truth, that didn’t matter to you anymore.
“I can’t talk about this right now. I have class.”You repeated. “Get some sleep tonight, okay? You don’t look so good.”
Another month went by and Peter was starting to feel used to not speaking to you. The thought of it beginning to feel normal to not have you in his life scared him so he called you up one night and listened to your voicemail with tears in his eyes. By month three, he pretty much just felt numb. He was falling to pieces very quickly and you were the only one who could save him. He’d seen you around on campus and sometimes get a pity wave if he stared too long. Every so often, he’d follow you home but keep his distance on rooftops. He swore you knew he was there as sometimes you’d stop and look up. He made no effort to hide but you made no effort to seek him out.
Peter was on his nightly patrol one night when his police radio started going crazy. He heard the words “bus crash” and “pile up” being reported over and over so he picked up his radio to listen for where it was. Once he had a location, he swung to the bridge and landed in the middle of the scene. Peter saw one of the large city buses on its side and twenty some cars piled up behind it. Police officers were already on the scene and helping people but Peters senses were telling him danger was still present.
“How can I help?” Peter asked an officer.
“Usually I don’t like seeing you at crime scenes but you might be able to help us. A bus is about to over the side of the bridge and our extraction guys are having a hard time getting onto the bridge with all the traffic.”
“Which bus?” Peter asked and looked around.
“It’s over there. Bus Q8.” The officer pointed out. There was a bus hanging over the side of the bridge with its nose pointed towards the water. Peter could see people inside trying to stay calm so they didn’t shake the bus.
“Q8? My girlfriend takes that bus.” Peter’s mouth went dry as his head shot back to the bus teetering over the edge of the bridge.
“Then you better hurry.” The officer called after Peter. The bus was on its side so Peter opened up the emergency hatch on the top and climbed inside. He calmed down the people on the bus one by one and assured them that he was there to get them to safety. As he spoke to the passengers, he kept an eye out for you but didn’t see you in any of the seats. You normally took the bus home at this time and Peter found it hard to believe this was the one day you didn’t.
“Was there a girl on this bus with a purple backpack? She was wearing brown converse and a jean jacket today. Did any see her?” He asked the passengers.
“Yeah. She was sitting over there.” Someone answered and pointed to the back of the bus. Peter went to your seat but only found your backpack.
“This is her backpack. Where is she?” He asked and felt his fear rise quickly. He looked around and saw that the back door of the bus was opened. He pushed the door open a little more and the bus wobbled at his movement.
“Did she leave?” Peter asked with his panic evident in his voice.
“She was helping a few people get out of the back until this little boy ran out. She told the mom she’d go find him. I haven’t seen her since.” Someone else informed him.
“Okay. Thank you. I’m gonna get you guys to safety.” Peter promised. He helped people out of the back of the bus one by one after securing the bus to the bridge with his webs. Once he was sure everyone was out safely, he began to search for you. He had an anxiety like nothing he had ever felt as he searched through the crowds for your face. As he looked around the scene, he heard a woman talking to a police officer about a girl falling over into the water. Peter felt his hair stand up and approached them.
“Excuse me? Was the girl who fell into the water wearing brown converse?” He asked and hoped the answer was no.
“I think so.” The woman replied but couldn’t be sure.
“Can you tell me what happened?” He asked.
“This girl helped me get my son after he ran off the bus. He had climbed into an empty car nearby to hide so she climbed in to get him. But the car fell into the water before she could get out herself.” The woman replied as she clutched her son to her chest.
“Did…did the car go under?” Peter asked with a dry mouth. The woman looked pained at his question and he already knew her answer.
“When I looked over the side, I saw it sink under the water. I’m so sorry. There was nothing I could do. Did you know her?” The woman asked and placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder. The police officer started asking Peter questions but he couldn’t hear anything. He felt like he was about to pass out and stumbled backwards. He took off running towards the side of the bridge and looked over into the water. The rocky river water looked especially treacherous that night, sending a sick feeling to Peter’s stomach. He wasted no time and dove into the water in search of you. He swam down and eventually found a car in the water but when he pulled the doors open, there was no sign of you. Peter quickly swam up to gasp for air before going back down to look again. He did this five times before he exhausted himself. He dragged himself onto the little patch of grass at the base of the bridge and laid on the ground. He pulled his mask off and let out a guttural sob as he covered his face with his hands. He knew he had to pull himself up and help the people on the bridge but his entire body felt like lead. He rubbed the saltwater out of his eyes and took another minute to recover. As he rolled over to get himself up, he made eye contact with you.
“Peter?” You asked in a shaky voice. You were wet from the river and holding yourself as you slowly walked toward him.
“You’re okay?” Peter asked as he got up off the ground. You were shivering from the cold and he wished desperately that he had something he could cover you with.
“Yeah. I managed to get out through the trunk of the car. I was on the other side of the platform when I heard you crying. Did you go looking for me?” You asked when you realized he was wet too. Peter was still in stunned silence at the sight of you okay after accepting that you had likely drowned.
“You’re okay.” He said and started to get all chocked up again. Peter took a step forward and opened his arms to hug you hit stopped himself. He stepped back and hugged himself instead.
“What are you doing?” You wondered.
“Giving you space.” He said seriously. It made you laugh for some reason which he didn’t understand but he didn’t question it.
“Shut up.” You said when your laughter stopped.
“I didn’t say anything.” Peter said as you threw your arms around him. He stumbled back in surprise but then hugged you back tightly. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and slipped his hands into your hair to hold you closer. It felt like muscle memory to hold you again and the chill in his bones was gone in seconds.
“That was really scary. When the car fell into the water. I couldn’t breathe.” You choked out and he held you tighter.
“I know. Shhh. I know.” He whispered in your ear as you struggled to catch your breath. You pulled away just a little so that you could look at him.
“I thought of you.” You admitted. “When I was trying to find my way back to the surface. I was so tired and my lungs felt like they were going to explode but I just kept thinking that I needed to see you again. That’s what kept me going.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to you sooner. I should’ve been here.”
“It’s okay. You’re here now.” You smiled sadly and touched his face. Peter returned the sad smile, the kind the made his eyes crinkle. But as he stared into your eyes, he couldn’t help but think of the things you had said the night you broke up.
“I should’ve been there for you a lot more than I ever had been.” He began. “You didn’t deserve to spend all those nights alone wondering where I was. I should’ve been a better boyfriend to you. I should have just told you the truth. I don’t even know who I was protecting in the end. I told myself it was you but that’s not true because you still got hurt and I was the one who hurt you. And I’m so sorry for that. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry for all of it.”
“Peter, you don’t have to do this right now.” You assured him.
“I do. Because I don’t know when you’re gonna talk to me again and I have so much I have to tell you. So I need you to know that I’m sorry for all the times you got dressed up for me and just never showed. I’m sorry I let you think the distance between us was all in your head even though I felt it too. I’m sorry for all the calls and texts after we broke up because I could never stay away from you. And for following you home everyday because you looking up when you thought to was around was the closest to an encounter that we had most days. And I’m sorry that I clearly didn’t love you hard enough if you were able to move on so quickly. I guess the absence of my love wasn’t much worse than the presence of it. Or maybe the presence of it already felt like an absence. I know I was barely there in the end. I know you deserve better. And I hope you get better. You were always the best part of me and now I’m just the loser who got really lucky that a cool girl liked him and found a way to fuck it all up.”
“You didn’t fuck it all up.” You smiled sadly. “We had a lot of good times too. We were happy.”
“Not enough for you to stay. Which I don’t blame you for. I wish it didn’t take losing you to realize how much I needed to change but it did. So I don’t blame you for being fine without me. You’ll always be fine. You’re better off now without me in your life and I’m just falling to pieces. I guess when a heart breaks, it doesn’t break even.”
You started at him for a moment as your eyebrows came together. You let out a short laugh and expected him to do the same but he just looked confused.
“That’s that song.” You said finally.
“What?”Peter frowned. “What song? I’m pouring my heart out here.”
“I’m falling to pieces, yeah. I’m falling to piece, yeah. Cause when a heartbreak no it don’t break even.” You sang quietly and Peters eyes went up in surprise.
“Oh shit. It is that song.” Peter realized. “Damn it. I thought I made that up. I’ve been listening to The Script a lot lately. Especially the one that’s like “cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be.” I’ve been blasting that one so much that May had to take my speakers away. So then I started scream-singing it and she threatened to kick me out.”
“It’s so like you to accidentally quote a popular song and think you made it up yourself.” You laughed softly. “You said I so confidently that I genuinely believe for a second that those were your own words. But no. It was just the musical stylings of the popular early 2000s band The Script.”
“The Script are the only people that understand me right now.” Peter mumbled, making you laugh again.
“You laugh but they make the best music for yearning.” Peter continued just to make you laugh again. He smiled at the sight of you laughing at something he had said after so many months of silence between you. When your laughter died down, you looked at him for a moment the way that you used to.
“I don’t want you to yearn anymore.” You told him and gave his hand a squeeze. Peter understood what you were getting at and nodded his head.
“Do you think we could try again?” He asked in a soft voice. You smiled a little and took a step closer to him to rest your hands on his chest.
“I think so.” You answered.
“I swear, everything will be different this time.” He insisted. “I won’t leave you lonely anymore. And we can take it at any pace you need. Just tell me what I can do to earn back your trust.”
“I don’t know. I think maybe I can trust a guy who dives into the Hudson River for me.” You said with a coy smile as you nodded towards the water.
“I really hate to do this right now but that’s actually the East River of-“
“I don’t care.” You laughed and pulled him into a kiss to shut him up.
Tag List 🏷️
@thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling
@tom-hollands-wifey
@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings
@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101
@peterparkoure
@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr
@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland
@sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @eridanuswave​ ​
@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant
@quaksonhehe @lovelessdagger
@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie
@maybemona
@alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom
@pandaxnienke
 @officialsimppage @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours
@freakofmusic25 @tomholland85
@olixerwxxd @leilanixx
@whereismytelephone @so-very-asleep @white-wolf1940
@spideyspeaches @hihiweezing
@mathletemadison  
@dhtomholland @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @prancerrparkerr
@hallecarey1 @adayasgeorgia @blackwidowisthebest @imawhoreforu
@ciarahollands
@nellabellaa @pinklxmonade @boogywoogywoogy
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pinkiemachine · 4 months
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I’ve only done some light reading on Selina, but even so, details on her past seem few and far between. Maybe there’s a reason, maybe I just haven’t looked hard enough, whatever. Someone can enlighten me in the comments. What I do know, however, is that she’s eluded to have experienced some form of abuse as a child. Now, this research came on the heels of brushing up on the rest of Batman’s rogues’ gallery and I gotta say, abuse as a backstory comes up a lot. And I’m just sitting here, like, “There are so many unique people in this world with unique traumas and hurts that this feels almost cookie cutter.” Am I wrong? I just wanna be more specific and explore problems more intimately. So… Selina Kyle. What to write for her backstory? I thought a lot about who she is as a character present day—her playful aloofness, her decision to become a cat burglar, breaking rules as if they don’t exist, always on the run, never settling down with anyone long term, stealing nice things for herself—it led me to this backstory: When Selina was a child, she was horribly neglected. Her father was almost never around and her mother was depressed, anxious, under the influence of alcohol quite often, and wished she never had a daughter. Selina found that it was always easier to live as though she were invisible. If she never got caught making a mess or being noisy or causing problems, her mother would never get mad at her, or even a acknowledge her, and neither would her father if he ever showed his face. She never received birthday gifts—or if she did, they were pitiful—and all of her attempts of reaching out via gifts to her mother and father were rejected. She was never loved and grew to believe that the only way she would ever feel cared for is if she just took care of herself and only herself. She was good at being invisible, and so she became good at stealing. She treated herself to nice things whenever she felt like it, and she rarely ever got caught. She never made close friends. She never really fell in love. She built up walls so high that no one could ever break them down… until she met Bruce. Suddenly, here was a guy who could consistently catch her red-handed. Who told her she needed to stop robbing people. Who believed she could be better. Who saw her. And even though she kept double-crossing him, escaping his grasp, and escaping justice, she found that it was a little bit harder to return to crime every time. She had always found him attractive… but the longer they chased each other around Gotham, and the longer he showed that he wasn’t going to ignore her or give up on her, the more that attraction turned into a deep feeling that Selina had never felt before. True love. She was scared of it. She didn’t know what to do with it. It was completely the opposite of everything she had ever known, and she secretly didn’t think she deserved it. After all, she was a criminal. She was a “bad guy.” Someone who stole from others for pleasure and profit. And yet Bruce believed she was a good person deep down. He believed she had the capacity for change. And in time, he would find himself falling in love with her too. By the end of their story, naturally, those walls had come crumbling down and they had each learned how to love again, something they both thought would never happen to them. 💜
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residentflamingo · 4 months
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Twice Members’ Favorite Places to Kiss You
Twice x fem! reader
Genre: fluff!!
Warnings: so sweet you’ll get a toothache <3
A/N: I have so many good drafts I want to share with you guys, but my motivation has been at 0% because school has been kicking me in the ass 💀✌️ But lately I have been getting a lot better, so more works are expected to come soon! Which also means I will be opening back up my requests box :D Someone did request me to write something a long time ago, and I’ve been steadily working on it over time. It’s got about 3,000 words on it, so as long as my lazy ass doesn’t put it off to writing it, that draft will be coming out soon as well. Thank you to all of you lovely people who have been patient, and also the ones that have been liking my posts. You guys are phenomenal and I love and appreciate all of you ❤️
Nayeon
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Lips ♡
A very standard one, but well suitable for her
She loves how soft and plump your lips are
Like Sana, Nayeon is a very affectionate person
So after she’s had a loooong day at the studio, all she wants to do is give you some repetitive and silly kisses that end up in slow and passionate ones
(Sometimes she’ll even bite your lip if she’s feeling a little bit frisky that night…)
“Oh my gosh I missed you so much Y/N. You won’t believe how many new dance routines they made us learn today.”
Her favorite kinds of kisses are good luck kisses and goodnight kisses <3
(And the passionate ones of course ;)
Nayeon loves how sweet it feels to be able to show her love through a kiss, and be able to feel your soft lips in the process
Kissing your lips make her feel grounded, and wanting nothing more than to spend every moment of every day with you
Jeongyeon
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Forehead ♡
Very domestic and homey feeling for her
Her kisses are always very sentimental and sweet
She doesn’t kiss as often as other people, which makes the wait worth it every time
“Here honey, you go lay down and rest. I can do the rest of the laundry for you.”
Always kisses you randomly and making sure it catches you off guard
She loves seeing you all flustered and shy <3
Kissing you on the forehead reminds her of being married to you someday, and just being able to protect you from harm
You are everything to her, and she never wants you to feel anything less than that
And if you’re shorter than her, then it’s an even better reason for her to kiss you on the forehead <3
Will also give you the biggest kiss when she comes home from work 🥺
“I missed you so much honey, what have you been up to?”
Momo
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Tummy ♡
When you had previously told her about being insecure about your tummy, you never thought she would take it so seriously
But oh boy how wrong you were
It instantly became Momo's favorite place to kiss you
Momo made sure to always remember it so she could prove your insecurities wrong
She loves how soft and chunky your tummy is, and just can't ever get enough of it
Also loves how much you giggle when she kisses you
If you ever have those days where you're not feeling too great, she will start giving you kisses there first and make sure you feel so loved and beautiful
“You are so beautiful Y/N. Don’t you ever forget it.”
“Your stretch marks are not ugly at all honey I promise. They make you look even more gorgeous.”
She will sometimes leave hickies and bite marks there too, but only when she’s in the mood and you give her permission
If you are also pregnant, she will not hesitate to smother your tummy in kisses then too <3
It would be almost impossible for her to keep her hands off of you
Her end goal is to always make you feel loved, and to remind you that you are the most beautiful woman she has ever set her eyes on
Sana
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Dimples ♡
We all know Sana is a very affectionate person. So choosing her favorite spot to kiss you would be impossible right?
Nope not at all for her.
The first thing that had drawn her to you was your radiant smile
But the deal breaker was the dimples that came along with it
She just couldn’t get enough of them
Once you guys had been dating for about 3-4 months, you both had gotten very comfortable with each other and started being all lovey dovey and such
That was when you noticed how much she loved to kiss your dimples
Any chance she could get, she made sure to kiss you in that same spot
It never failed to make you blush every time, and that’s part of the reason why she would constantly kiss you there
She also loves how well they compliment your face, and how adorable they make you look
“Y/N have I ever told you how much I love your dimples? They make you look so cute!” *pinches your cheeks*
Jihyo
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Cheeks ♡
She doesn’t mind kissing on the lips. She loves it actually, but she just enjoys kissing your cheeks even more
Jihyo’s kisses are the most genuine ones you will ever feel in your entire life
Sometimes it’s hard for her to say how much she loves you outloud, so she’ll express it through her kisses
When you’re having a bad day and come home tired, she’ll wrap her arms around you and give soft pecks on your cheeks
Or when Jihyo has to leave for early morning dance practice, she’ll slowly wake you up by peppering your face with kisses too
It’s just a super sweet gesture for her, and your puffy cheeks are too cute for her to not kiss anyways
She loves the way you blush when she randomly walks up to you and kisses you
Jihyo adores you so much, even if it’s hard for her to say outloud sometimes
When she does, she makes sure it meaningful, and at the perfect time
“I love you so much Y/N. Even if I don’t say it outloud that much, I really do. You’re my world, and I never want you to feel any lesser than that.”
Mina
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Nose ♡–-
When you confessed to her that you hated the shape/size of your nose, she made it one of her top priorities to make you feel less insecure about it
Her shy persona may keep her from expressing a lot of things, but it didn’t stop her from showing her affection for you
You were used to her always giving you warm hugs, and very soft kisses on the lips
But when she added your nose to the agenda, it was game over for you
She loves to kiss your nose when you look super cute, and she can’t handle it
Or when you’re doing something sweet for her like washing the dishes, or doing her laundry. She’ll always find a way to pay you back with affection
“Thank you so much baby. You’re so sweet.”
Over time your insecurities had slowly gone away after receiving so much love and support from her, making your nose the very very least of your worries
Having someone like her in your life made you realize that looks weren’t every thing, and that you never have to worry about when you’re with her
“Honey your nose is so cold. *kisses your nose* Here let me kiss it some more so it will feel warmer...”
Dahyun
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Hands/ fingers ♡
Dahyun is very loving and sweet
She loves to hold your hand when you two are walking around Seoul together, or just cuddling on the couch
She loves the intimacy it brings between you two
If she doesn't express her love with words at the moment, she will express it with actions
She'll bring your hand up to her lip and pepper your knuckles, fingers, and whatever else with kisses
Something else that she would never admit, is how she loves the softness of your hands
It reminds her of when she was little, and she would hold her mother’s hand
Dahyun wants you to feel loved and adored by her at all times, even if it’s not verbally
When you guys are at restaurants, she will have no shame holding your hand from across the table and kissing it
“Dahyun be careful. People might see us.”
She’ll just laugh and say, “Let them. Nothing will ever stop me from expressing my love for you darling.”
Chaeyoung
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Jawline/Neck ♡
We all know Chaeyoung is a big romantic
And can sometimes be a bit flirty with it too
So it’s no surprise that her favorite place to kiss you, would be the most intimate and steamy
Even though it is her favorite spot to kiss you, she doesn’t really kiss there very often
But when she does, she makes sure to go all out
She loves how intimate it is, and loves hearing/ seeing your reaction every time she kisses in that area
Most definitely will leave hickies too, so be aware when she starts going to town down there
“You like it when I kiss you like this baby?”
You can just already see her smirking while saying that…
She loves riling you up and making you melt from her touch <3
Tzuyu
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Ears ♡
Tzuyu is a one-of-a-kind woman, and the sweetest one you have ever met
When you guys first started dating you it stayed at the awkward stage for a little bit longer than most couples
But when she started warming up to you, her affection towards you became even greater
It started with little kisses on the nose, then on the cheek, lips, she eventually progressed to your ears
You thought it was weird at first, but you eventually grew to love it
Tzuyu loves to hug you from behind because of the height difference, and she’ll often whisper in your ear how much she loves you
Sometimes she’ll nibble a little bit too after kissing it, but not very often
If you have slightly larger size ears, she would tease you about it every now and then
But not enough to where you would feel insecure
She just thinks your ears are super cute, and make you even more loveable
"I love you so much Y/N... Don't ever change. You are perfect just the way you are."
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lilbunnis · 11 months
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❛ ♡. header credit. ⎯⎯ 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲. ❜
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★ ⎯⎯ aemond targaryen has always wanted someone as his own; and with him already having claimed his vicious mount vhagar, the queen of dragons herself--- what is there to stop him from claiming you, too?
author’s note᛬ heey! 🍓 so……this is my second time posting this particular story--- however, it was a long time ago & someone anonymously requested to read it again. happily, i offered to repost it for them (with the exception that i re-edit it since my style of writing has changed / improved!) … anyways, reblogs & comments are deeply appreciated. ♡ + both aemond & reader are equally unhinged. <3 mwuah !
warnings᛬ mdni! smut, dubcon [kind of… but trust me, it’s wanted], dark!aemond, profanity, she/her pronouns, afab reader, innocence kink, corruption kink, coercion, manipulation, pussy whipped!aemond, breeding kink, cunnilingus, fingering, obsessive & possessive behavior, pet names, romance, fluff. any grammatical errors are my own--- in advance, i sincerely apologize.
word count᛬ 2.5k
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𝐎𝐇, 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝑭𝑶𝑹 𝒀𝑶𝑼, 𝐈’𝐃 𝐃𝐎 𝑨𝑵𝒀𝑻𝑯𝑰𝑵𝑮.
aemond targaryen has always thought of her as his--- his to protect, his to care for, his to love; ever since he’d met her, he surrounded himself in her feminine presence, around her sweetness and innocence, keeping her close by and never letting her trail very far out of his sight.
unless, of course, it was absolutely necessary, and even then, he’d have one of his most trustworthy guards (loyal only to him) follow her around all day--- discreetly, of course.
however, during their short time apart, the one-eyed prince would be on constant edge; irritable and in a foul mood throughout the time that they were apart, not being able to trust anyone to truly protect his lady the way he knew he could.
oh, how he missed his dearly beloved so--- so much so, that the wayward prince was known for his brutal lashings and merciless beheadings (all a gift to his love) to all of those who merely breathed the wrong way in his proximity.
or simply, sweet gifts of pretty, sparkling sapphires and pearls.
still, he knew that she thought his temper and rage was charming, as she had once told him in that sweet, gentle little voice of hers, soothing his fiery temper as if she were the maiden reborn.
like his own little angel, so delicate, tender-hearted and mine, aemond thought.
sometimes, most of the time, aemond would just simply gaze at her, at her beauty, longingly; like she was the center of the universe and held all of the twinkling stars in the night sky.
most people wouldn’t dare to believe such a thing, but aemond thought it was cute when she learned something new in philosophy, excitedly wanting to share the new knowledge she’d learned from her septa with him--- even if he already knew, just to be able to listen to her sweet, angelic voice.
oh, and on those simple days, content to just listen to her babbling on about whichever subject she deemed of interest; he would lovingly hand feed her fresh strawberries, one by one; the ripest, juiciest and sweetest ones, listening as she breathily moaned in content as each one entered her pouty mouth.
meanwhile, as his little darling continued on about whichever subject interested her at the moment; the one-eyed prince watched in delight as the red juices dribbled down her chin, allowing him to quickly swoop in and kiss it delicately away, causing him to hum in content at the sweet taste.
whether it be from the strawberries themselves or the sweet taste of her skin, it mattered not to the prince--- because the next moment, he would drop to his knees and feast on her delicious, drooling cunt; burying himself right beneath her fluffy skirts as he heard her girlishly moan and whimper for him, as he continued enjoying the taste of her maidenhood.
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on lazy days, the prince will sit with her in his lap, one of his strong, lean arms wrapped snugly around her waist, most protectively; meanwhile, his free hand would slip beneath her fluffy skirts and play with her virgin, soaking cunt, teasingly stroking his long, calloused fingers through her wet, puffy folds.
seven above, and the sounds of her soft, breathy little moans, almost luring him to bend her right over the wooden table in the back of the library and rut into her like some wild, depraved beast, claiming her maidenhead as his.
‘twas almost too much to bear for the prince, knowing she was already his in body, mind, heart and soul.
he always imagined what she must taste like that day, right before he would feast on her cunny, almost to tease himself--- like freshly baked sweet tarts, spoonfuls of honey, strawberries…
late at night, while in the privacy of his own chambers, he’d furiously fuck his fist to the thought of burying his face between her smooth thighs once again, wanting nothing more than to taste and fuck her cunt with his tongue greedily; before he’d come so fucking hard in his hand, his seed coating the skin of his taut abdomen and dripping down his fingers--- sticky and messy and entirely spent.
sighing heavily, aemond would barely resist the temptation to exit his chambers and go straight to hers, knowing she’d welcome him with an open heart and open legs.
…fuck, what a waste of his seed, he thinks, for he could’ve pumped her empty womb full of his seed; fuck load after load inside of her, and come by morning, she would already be carrying his son in her belly.
rightfully so; she’s be so beautiful, so fragile, so obedient, a perfect little wife she’d be for him, indeed.
meanwhile, back in the library, aemond would continue teasing her little cunny, occasionally dipping the very tips of his fingertips into her little virgin fuck-hole, feeling how fucking tight she was for him, causing him to harden almost painfully inside of his leather breeches, right below her squirming, little ass.
like his very own wanton, silk street whore.
she continued to moan and whimper repeatedly; making him gently shush her with delicate kisses across her neck, spreading her dripping arousal all around her swollen bud, hearing her mewl his name like a prayer and grip the polished library table forcibly, watching her blissed-out face until she came all over his fingers.
when he made her come so hard with just playing with her little bundle of nerves, he had to slap a hand over her mouth to muffle her cries of pleasure and whisper sweet praises into her ear, knowing how sensitive and needy she was in his arms, just after coming down from her peak and making her come so hard on his fingers.
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of course, the more time he spent with her, the harder it was to resist her--- and so, most nights, when aemond could no longer resist being away from her; the need to see her being just too much for him to bear any longer, he’d eagerly seek her out, knowing she’d be in her chambers, awaiting his arrival.
just as eager and wanton as he was, it seemed.
smirking, aemond chuckled softly, embracing her; “my sweetest, my darling, my little love--- fuck, i have missed you.”
he couldn’t control himself anymore, he needed to see her, to be with her, to have her.
always.
specifically, in the late hours of the night, wanting to be as close to her as physically possible; fuck, he loved her so much, he didn’t ever want her to doubt his love for her--- he stripped them both of their evening clothes, his amethyst eye dilated and wild at the sight of her nude form.
during those private evenings, aemond had convinced her for him to claim her as his… fully, in the ways only a man could claim a woman.
with his persuasion, his silver tongue easily convinced her into saying yes; causing him to release a purr and claim her body multiple times that night, until she was a shaking, sobbing and sweaty mess beneath him, full of loads of his seed, while he held her tightly against him in his arms--- possessively.
uncaringly, the prince left all sorts of love marks all across her skin, kissing every inch of her soft, glistening skin that he could reach, suckling on her swollen, puffy nipples, knowing her plush breasts would soon grow heavy with milk for their many babes that’d come someday soon.
selfishly, just maybe; he could persuade his little darling for a taste for himself--- fucking hells, he couldn’t wait for her to grow round and fat with his sons!
insatiably, he would fuck his already hardening, leaking cock back inside of her sopping cunt, his and her own moans of pure love and ecstasy echoing off of the walls of her chambers.
however, even with all of the bliss and pleasure and love; still came her doubts and worries.
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his sweet lady, his precious love, his only girl--- was utterly terrified of someone finding out about their affair.
however, the fearsome, bloodthirsty dragon prince would always reassure her; whispering sweet words of his love and devotion into her ears, calming her by kissing her love-marked skin before he would fuck her squelching cunt once again with his cock, ploughing into her mercilessly, filling her with another load of his seed, until tears would stream down her blushy cheeks.
unable to stop herself, she’d let out the most feminine moans for him, not being able to control her sweet mewls from escaping her kiss-swollen lips, sobbing out deliriously as he continuously fucked her ruthlessly, uncaring of who heard them; for the one-eyed prince was too addicted to the taste of her and the pretty, precious sounds she made just for him.
it wouldn’t matter anyway, if anyone were to find out about their love affair--- aemond genuinely honestly couldn’t give a fuck if someone were to tell her lord father that her maidenhead was claimed by him anyone.
if anyone would dare to question his lady’s virtue or purity, he would cut out their tongues, before mercilessly killing them and feed their mutilated corpse to his mighty beast, vhagar.
aemond had always been a possessive man, especially when it concerned his sweet little lady, to the point that most of the noble lords and ladies of the court started to take notice; however, the fearsome prince paid them little attention--- nowadays, his only concern in life was his darling little bride.
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some days, when the weather was warm enough and the sun was shining brightly, aemond would take his lady on long walks around the red keep’s royal gardens, right after he finished his morning training session with ser criston.
as always, it was just the two of them, together; and while he watched her instead of admiring the pretty flowers that she seemed so smitten by, he couldn’t stop the tiny grin from spreading across his face at just the mere sight of her.
her, her, her.
his--- his lady, his woman, his wife.
there was a secret, hidden alcove surrounded by various cherry trees and gorgeous pink peonies, which aemond would often bring her to visit; it was almost as if it was their special spot.
then, without warning, aemond would gently press her back up against one of the trunks of the pretty, blossoming cherry trees, kissing her so sweetly, so passionately, so tenderly; it made her swoon and see constellations on the backs of her fluttering eyelids.
“marry me.”
suddenly, she felt as if her heart had suddenly stopped beating and she felt rather faint--- for a moment, her heart felt as if it had skipped several beats, because surely… her sweet aemond did not just ask the impossible of her?
again, aemond spoke.
“marry me,” he murmured against her soft, perfumed skin (that smelled of the lavender oils they’d previously bathed in that morning together) trailing open-mouthed kisses along her sensitive neck, causing a breathy whimper to escape her pretty, pouty lips.
instantly, aemond’s ears had perked up to the sound of her breathing that was quickening, his large hands roaming and grasping at her sides as if to soothe her sudden panic, enjoying the feeling of her womanly curves against his big hands, even through the silk fabric of her pretty, sapphire colored dress.
“hmm…no,” she drawled lazily, though her sweet voice was teasing, “—my father is suspicious enough already about all of the rumors going on about us…he doesn't ask, of course; i’m afraid it’s because he is too frightened of you,” she giggled softly, batting her long eyelashes up at the handsome prince.
aemond smirked, amused by his little darling.
“besides,” she continued softly, her usual sweetened voice saddened and aemond watched as his lady’s heart was visibly breaking right before his own eye, “—my father… he will arrange a betrothal for me soon and i must do my duty, as is expected of me,” she whispered, while gently twirling a few strands of her lover’s long silvery hair around one of her fingers, her face sullen--- like a little girl having her favorite treat taken away from her.
aemond hummed; a soft, dangerous sound as his face remained stoic, not displaying a single emotion that he was currently feeling--- his natural-born eye on the other hand…was a raging storm of a dark, angry violet, screaming promises of fire and blood.
“that'll never happen,” aemond murmured softly, his voice a raspy baritone, completely unbothered, “—if your father even dares to try and take you away from me, he'll suffer a most painful death; i assure you, my sweet lady.”
her heart fluttered, both of her cheeks heating up and her head began to feel fuzzy, a dreamy expression forming on her pretty face; though she wasn’t sure if it was from the warm weather or by his loving, murderous words.
“you're so sweet,” she cooed dreamily, smiling up at him as she wrapped both of her arms around his neck loosely, her fingers gently brushing through more of his long silvery hair, feeling how silky-smooth the strands were--- curtsey of the queen, his darling mother; a sweet gift of scented oils she had gotten for her favorite son all the way from pentos.
“only for you, my beloved,” the prince promised, tenderly brushing his knuckles along one of her rosy cheeks, bending down towards her shorter height and capturing her rouge-stained lips in a sweet, deeply passionate kiss--- a deep, throaty sound of lust escaping from him.
ah, she tastes of the sweetest of innocence and strawberries.
his favorite.
‘twas as if the prince could never get enough of her taste, of her.
sweetly, she releases a little whine, high-pitched and so needy for him; the sweetness of a poisonous kiss--- oh, how he wants to love her forever and bathe in all of the glorious love she had to offer him.
gods, he loved her… only, only, only her.
“my angel, so soft and pure, so innocent; and your precious heart… it is mine,” he growled, deepening the kiss against her lips--- his large, warm and calloused hands began trailing down to cup her sweet, little ass through her skirts, bundling the silky, sapphire colored fabric in his greedy hands to fondle and squeeze the soft flesh of her asscheeks; pinching and clutching possessively.
grinning wolfishly, aemond trailed his open-mouthed kisses down her delicate neck, suckling freshly new love marks into her fading, bruised skin--- all across her neck, jawline, collarbones and the very tops of her soft, perky breasts.
“marry me,” he asked once again, sounding impatient, though he wouldn’t mind begging, if it only meant claiming her for himself.
she wrapped her arms around his neck more snugly, standing on the tips of her toes to kiss him sweetly, all across his chin and the corners of his mouth, feeling his hands roam freely all over her once more before settling still, giving her backside a loving squeeze.
“be my wife,” he pleads once more, his tone of voice more desperate than ever before, sweet as sugar and the burning flesh of corpses.
she released a small sigh, moving closer just slightly so that she could brush her saliva-coated lips softly against his own, “yes,” she breathed lovingly, feeling as he visibly shuddered against her just from her mere acceptance of his begging proposal.
“i’ve always been yours.”
fin.
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deansapplepie · 3 months
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You couldn’t lose each other
Summary: You were pregnant, then you weren’t.
Warnings: ANGST, pregnancy, miscarriage, mention of character death, mention of “putting someone down”, soft Merle, on purpose asshole Daryl, blood, hurt, mental instability, hurt, stubborn main characters, loss, grief, and maybe more. 18+, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
A/N: I never experienced miscarriage and am writing everything based on my knowledge through series, movies, soap operas and books, so it may have inaccuracies. If you are sensible to any of those topics please don’t read, your mental health is more important!
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It had started about a week ago, heavy dizziness and morning sickness (which didn’t happen exactly only in the morning). On top of that your period was late, which you tried to atribute to the sub nutrition all of you went through while on the road, but as soon as other symptoms started… you knew it was probably other thing.
You went on a run with Daryl to get more baby formula for Jude and just discreetly added a pregnancy test on your backpack, in a part you hoped Daryl wouldn’t look because he never did. As soon as you got to the prison and had some alone time you risked yourself going somewhere, no one would see you or find you, to pee on the damn thing and find the truth. The truth was… you knew it, you didn’t need a test, you were undoubtedly and very much pregnant.
One end of afternoon, Merle sat by your side and didn’t bother to tip toe around you. “When are ya gonna tell ‘im?”
“What?” He took you back with his question.
“When are ya telling my brother ya’re with his baby?” Your eyes widened at his question. “Daryl ain’t the only one with observation skills. Who ya think taught him everything? I saw the symptoms and the pregnancy test you hid on your pocket the other day.”
“Fuck you Dixons.”
“Ya already do it to one of us.” He sassy replied, you rolled your eyes as usually happened during your banters.
“Soon. I’m just waiting the whole governor thing end. He already has too much to worry about, he’ll freak out if I tell him now. He’ll probably put me on bubble of safety and not let me do anything.” You stated, Daryl could have the rough exterior but both of you knew how he was, how he cared about people. Also he had changed so much the last months, and it was for the better. “Don’t tell him, let me do it.”
“Al’ight.” He surprised you, you had learned how to deal with Merle, but he wasn’t the same asshole as before. Still an asshole though. “It’ll be good have a mini Dixon around. I’ll help to keep ya’ll safe.”
“I know, you can be a jerk sometimes but I know you care about your family.” You gave the older Dixon a small smile and squeezed his hand to reassure him. That had been one of the nicest things he ever told you and coming from Merle, that was a lot.
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The governor had asked for Michonne to leave your group alone, you didn’t believe a word of it it, but Merle did or at least he had to try. That morning he disappeared with her and all of you knew what he was up to. Daryl went after them, you wanted to go too but of course he wouldn’t “allow” you.
Some time after, Michonne arrived, alone. You asked about Merle and Daryl, and she told everything that happened with Merle. He had set her free and went by himself. It wouldn’t end up well, you could feel it in your guts, and your feeling just confirmed to be true when Daryl arrived alone.
Everyone gathered around him to know what happened and he told you with teary eyes. The others left to give both of you some time.
“Daryl, I’m sorry.” You said, both of your hands cupping his face, he averted your eyes. “Hey, look at me.”
“Leave me alone…” he grumply answered trying to get out of your grasp.
“We’re together in this, huh? I’m here for you, we both cared about Merle.” He snorted.
“Ya cared about Merle? Ya never liked him!”
That wasn’t true, he knew it wasn’t. He was hurt, he had to put his brother down, there wasn’t anyone else that could do it for him, even if there was… it had to be him. Somehow, in his abused mind, he thought it was all his fault. Merle died because he wanted to be a better person, he wanted to protect his little brother as much as he could in this fucked up world, and that was the way he found to do it. It was just a matter of time for you to do the same and it would be entirely his fault if you ended like Merle. You were the last thing he had from the old world. You were the only good thing he had, and if he had to push you away to keep you alive, that was what he was going to do, because he couldn’t afford living in a world without you.
“This isn’t true, Daryl. You’re hurting, I get it…” he cut your speaking before you could finish.
“Ya don’t. Ya never will!” He distanced himself when you tried to touch his arm. “We should break up.”
“What?!”
“Ya heard it.” He confirmed.
“Ok, when you’re not speaking no sense we can talk, I know you’re not ok, but there’s a limit of shit I can take.” You wouldn’t continue to insist on it if he was going to continue acting like that. You knew he was suffering, but so were you and he was being a prick.
“There ain’t gonna be another talk. I said what I said.” Those words left his mouth as if they were nothing, but each of them felt like a knife in his throat.
“Is it really the moment for you to dump me?” You knew he was emotionally unstable, no one make good decisions like this.
“Did I stutter?” The moment he threw the harsh words, he knew he had got what he wanted, the hurt in your eyes pained in his chest and this time he was sure he had lost you for good.
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Since that day, you didn’t talk to him and he also ignored you. You asked Rick to not put you both working together anymore. You moved your things to Carol’s cell, now also your cell. Woodbury had fallen, now the survivors of the town had joined you at the prison.
Your little secret was still yours, or sort of… Carol was a mother. She went through all the shit you were going through, all of you saw Lori going through it. She knew it already, but didn’t tell you anything until one week after everything that happened.
She asked you, “aren’t you telling him?”
This time you didn’t even got surprised and already knew what she was talking about. “No.”
“And when it starts to show?”
“I’ll tell I just fucked someone and was too drunk to remember.” You stubbornly replied.
“You’re being childish, he deserves to know.” She was right, but you were tired and emotionally damaged already.
“ ‘cause he’s being a fucking kid too. I get it, he’s suffering, but he needs to stop hurting people every time he’s hurt. It’s time he grows up and man up.” You said arms crossed.
“You know his past better than I, I thought you from all the people would understand.” The older woman wisely said.
“Carol, I appreciate your concern, he’s your friend too, but you don’t understand.” You said, was it you? Was it the hormones? You couldn’t know. “Please, don’t tell him. It’s not your place to do it.”
“I won’t. You’re the one that should do it.” As soon as she answered, she left you alone.
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One week later, or a little more, it seemed like Rick had forgotten his promise that he wouldn’t put you ti work with Daryl as he put both of you on fence duty to kill the walkers. Ok, there were more people with you, but you couldn’t help but feel yourself being watched and you knew the weight of his stare. You could feel it in your soul. Also, you couldn’t help yourself and from time to time look at him, because you would be a liar if you said you didn’t love him anymore or that you didn’t find him handsome and attractive, and what’s beautiful was made to look at.
It was middle of the morning, even though it was starting to get cold the sun was strong for whoever was working under it. You had sweat and few stains of blood from the walkers you had killed through the fence. You were feeling extra tired, you thought it was because pregnant women got more sleepy, so you didn’t think about it so much.
Some minutes after you felt a sharp pain on your lower stomach. Weird. ‘Please let it just be a stomachache or gases’, you thought.
You continued working then you felt the pain in the same place but sharper. ‘Please, don’t let it be anything with my baby’, you thought again.
You kept doing your job, this time more slowly as you felt the pain irradiating through your body, until you felt a stabbing pain in the same place and something hot going down your legs. You looked down and saw blood. “NO!”
You shouted and that called people’s attention Daryl’s specially. He looked at you and all he could see was blood. Did you hurt yourself with the weapon? Did the governor came back and wounded you? Did somehow a walker managed to bite you?
“Nooo-hooo-ooo.” You shouted cried throwing yourself to the ground.
In seconds he was kneeling by your side. “Hey, hey, look at me. What is it? What happened, doll?”
“I lost it.” You said, crying more at your realization. “I lost it.”
“What did ya lose, babe?” He asked, he thought you were delirious due to the blood loss. His hands around your face trying to make you look at him, trying to ground you. He was panicking, where were you hurt? Was he going to loose you anyway and he had spent the last weeks loosing his time with you?
You cried. “Our baby, I lost our baby.” You said between sobs.
It hit him like a punch on his stomach. You said your baby, a baby from both of you, a baby he didn’t know existed, a baby that… his abused mind played with him again. A baby that could be possibly gone because of him. “Stay with me, love. I’m taking care of you.” Who were you? Just you? You and the baby? Was there any chance this was a weird bleeding but the baby would still be ok? He didn’t know. He knew nothing about it.
He didn’t think twice, he took you in his arms and started running. “HERSHEL!” He yelled the doctor’s name again and again, until he found him and had you in the infirmary.
Before getting to the infirmary you had passed out, maybe it was the shock or it could also be the blood loss, you’d never know.
Hershel examined you. Daryl stayed all the time by your side, making questions to the doctor. Teary eyes while he explained everything. You were indeed pregnant, and yes, you had lost the baby. Daryl’s hopes were shattered at pieces, he cried. He the big rough man that didn’t like to show his emotions cried, it was Hershel. He was a friend. He was family after all.
After making sure nothing had stayed in your uterus, the old man had a talk with the younger one. Hershel made sure Daryl knew it wasn’t his fault, at this point he already knew the archer well and knew he was guilting himself for it. He ensured it was something that could happen at this early stage, you were at the maximum 2 months pregnant according to the tissue your body expelled from you. That small tissue was what would be your baby. The feeding poor in nutrients could have harmed your body, it was pretty much a disorder in your uterus so that happened. There was no one to blame, besides the end of the world.
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Some time had passed when you woke up, you were as much as clean as they could got you and you had warm feeling on your right hand. You looked to your side and you saw Daryl worried and guilty eyes.
“It’s not your fault.” You said. You remembered everything.
“Maybe.” He said, even if Hershel had already reassured him. “But it doesn’t make it less worse. I could have lived it with ya for the little time we had.”
“I was the one that didn’t tell you.” You turned to your side and extended your left arm till you were touching his face. “I’m sorry.”
“I AM sorry.” He said giving emphasis to that. “I… I dun know what I was thinking.”
“I know.” You knew he was lost at that moment, but it didn’t hurt you less when he pushed you away and both of you needed each other. “Merle wasn’t your fault. The baby neither.”
At the mention of Merle’s name and the baby, your voice quivered and the tears threatened to leave your eyes, and they did. They fell from your eyes and you couldn’t do anything about it. “I ain’t pushing ya away anymore. I… I was so afraid of losing ya too.” Tears also slipped on his face.
“Merle was happy, he knew he was going to be an uncle.” You remembered the conversation you had with him the day before he sacrificed himself. “He noticed it and asked me about it. I was going to tell you when the governor shit was over.”
You also felt guilty about Merle’s death. You knew sometimes he didn’t take some smart decisions, but did he tried to face it all alone because he also wanted to be a better person to his nephew or niece? He had told you he would protect all of you.
You sobbed. You both cried together, now your arms thrown around his neck and your face hiding in it. You both had lost too much already, you couldn’t afford losing anything else. You couldn’t lose each other.
Wanna be added to my tag list? Let me know. (Please tell me if you want to be tagged on everything or just specific series) Everything Taglist: @lilyevanstan1325 @hayley1998 @shadowcitrine @vaniniweenie @cupidelocke
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mourninglamby · 3 months
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god it's so nice to see your takes on things genuinely
As flawed as it is, i think dsmp is still an incredibly interesting and unique narrative about abuse, how it affects different people, and how it's spread and normalised. It's not a satisfying or clean narrative by any means, but i still think that it approaches its themes in a way that's fundamentally different than any other form of media and it's still worth it to spend time analysing it.
i don't know if the fact that actual abusers worked on it has anything to do with it (i would hazard a guess and say yes, but i digress), but oftentimes it genuinely feels like a look into the internal machinations of abusers, and i think it can make people more aware of the warning signs. and good analysis is the #1 way to actually bring that lesson to the surface, since the story wasn't written with that moral in mind but just stumbled onto it.
so, thank you for giving this smpand its story the time of day, i think that it's genuinely something that's worth doing and it's nice to see someone put themselves out there like you do (since i know how a lot of fans are), have a lovely day!
Ugh this is all worded soooo perfectly. This story is truly the most unique look into abuse and it never even used to word …….forgive the long tangent I’m about to go on but it’s important!! I know there is a bigger conversation to be had, particularly about the meta and the way Tommy played ctommy/how he interacted with the adults on the server, which greatly influenced the delivery of the abuse plotline. Tom Simons played Ctommy epistemologically, so the characters’ knowledge, for the most part, extended only as far as his did. Which created a devastating story ! Especially concerning cwilbur!
I wanna actually talk abt how the word “abuse” was never used, despite it permeating thru the entire narrative. This was on purpose of course. Tommy The Guy was 16. His outlook on abuse and the nuances of it likely weren’t developed enough for him to ever really understand what was happening to his character until it was too late. And in that vein, Clayton Ray Huff and william gold also didn’t think harder about the harm they caused not just Tommy, but everyone else they hurt irl. And I’ll never forget Tommy’s cry for justice before that HORRIBLE ending, saying in his twitch chat that “cdream drove ctommy to suicide!” Or when he told his chat they were Also being manipulated by c!dream, after his first prison visit. It’s so complicated and so difficult to talk about, but it’s absolutely necessary when the story itself never really…. Understood the topic it was portraying. The level of abuse apologism and victim blaming present in this fanbase had such an awful effect on me and my friends, and again, that was intentional. Send the audience they curated to silence any conversation that might allude to blaring red flags. BUT! I’m in a better headspace to discuss the intricacies of its harm and how it failed, and simultaneously investigate how it managed to be so Real.
As for the story being written by a handful of actual abusers … well……. It’s no wonder it ended like a punch to the throat. Absolute horse shit spun from the mouths of men who know what they are, and want to keep being that way. Wilbur thinks he can just Leave for a while and everything would go back to normal. Dream thought he could Start Over so that no ACTUAL consequences would ever reach him. They learn NOTHING because they don’t believe they have to. It’s sick. But it’s always necessary to remember when analyzing the train wreck of an ending both men concocted. Dsmp failed as damage control because they played abusers in that story too. And abusers don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. Completely incapable of introspection.
Okay I’ve talked enough lmfao but . I’m rly thankful I get to receive anons like this … I do not think I’m the smartest person by a long shot and seeing other people articulate these thoughts and introduce me to new things has been very healing and validating. It’s much better than the ppl who would flat out deny it or harass me lol.
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ust when I start to feel like I have a grip on what happened with the part 2 premiere and papgate, I learn or remember something that completely throws me. I feel like I need to lay out some evidence for my own mental clarity. 
I had a bad feeling something was brewing the night of the London premiere before the BackGrid pictures came out based on L’s energy on the red carpet. Here is evidence that SOMETHING was up.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRoTmvL4/ People have focused on how cute this is of N and LT, but it’s telling that LT and Claudia form a little huddle of love around her and Hannah joins in. People were feeling very protective of N that night. I can almost imagine LT whispering in her ear, “How are you doing?” and Nic saying with a smile plastered on her face, “He brought her.”
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRoT9dYE/ Some interpret this as Golda smirking at the lovebirds, but I have never seen anything other than pure disdain in her expression. She is thinking “You motherfucker” and you can’t convince me otherwise. 
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNbowwQu/ I was reminded of this clip here a few days ago and holy shit. Sam and Joanna are protectively huddled around N, the expression on Sam’s face as he looks directly at L is…not friendly, and I totally see the “stupid arse” thing. That’s not to mention L, who legitimately looks like he’s going to throw up. He is paranoid they are talking about him and, guess what, they are. 
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRoTvvuH/ Let’s not forget this little dig. N is too classy to reveal anything outright, but her response feels so pointed and L’s reaction is so awkward.  
A few more random thoughts about the night:
I can’t find clips right now that illustrate this, but I remember noticing that L was constantly flicking his eyes upwards throughout the red carpet. He was hyperconscious of the fact that A was watching him from up in that glass box AND that N and the cast knew A was up there.
It struck me recently that I hadn’t seen any pictures or videos of C or LT with LN on this red carpet. LN had a hug with HD and there were those documented moments with Simone, but I would find it very telling if we couldn’t find a single pic or video of C interacting with LN that night. Happy to be proved wrong on this one #showittomeRachel.
I know the official story is that N left the afterparty early because she started filming TMFT the next day, but let’s be real. This was the final event for HER season of Bton. This is a project she loves and a cast that she cares deeply about. If she had wanted to shut the party down, she would have. 
So far, all of this awkwardness could be explained simply by A’s presence and nothing at all related to the paparazzi. The thing that is still SO suspicious to me that makes me think L knew the paparazzi would be there when he left the party is that he was the last to leave the party. Think about everything you have ever read/heard about L in social situations. That sort of gathering is absolutely not his scene. He’s talked about how much he loves an Irish Goodbye. I also feel like it’s sort of cringey to be the last one at a party like that, especially if all of the other main actors have left, including your costar. Why would he have waited until literally everyone else had gone if not because he didn’t want anyone else around for the pap pics? I know people really don’t want to believe L was involved because it is shitty to think about, but I think there are too many odd things that stack up for him to have been blindsided by it. 
The thing that haunts me is that he seemed AWKWARD about everything that transpired that night. This was not a man who felt confident and in control of his life decisions. If this was meant to be the hard launch of a girlfriend, a million different things could have happened. He could have told interviewers how excited he was to have his mom, sister, and gf with him for the event. He could have put his arm around A, grabbed her hand, smiled at the camera, kissed A’s cheek, etc. while the cameras were flashing.
So, that leaves me convinced of two things: Luke knew the paparazzi would be there AND he didn’t want to be photographed with A (at least in a way that would confirm a serious relationship). After tossing around different explanations in my mind, here is what I have come up with.
L is a serial monogamist who really struggles to be alone. He kept A around during the WT because it gave him comfort and a feeling of power to know he had a romantic partner. This would have been important to him for various possible reasons: maybe N was attached to someone during this time and he didn’t want to be the single one; maybe N had rejected his advances and he wanted to seem unbothered; maybe neither he nor N had made a move on each other but he was feelings things towards N he didn’t know how to cope with and A was a distraction. Regardless, he kept A in the picture, though their relationship obviously had a LOT of asterisks surrounding it. He invited her to the premiere at a time when he was feeling especially insecure (for any of the reasons I mentioned above). In his mind, it was going to feel good to have her there. And I think at some point right before the premiere, she convinced him they needed to launch the relationship. If it’s true that something had been going on between them since the fall, then it had been at least eight months of her letting him keep her hidden in the shadows while he flirted shamelessly with his gorgeous soulmate–I mean costar–for the world to see. He agreed to this at a time when he wasn’t secure in whatever he and N had and couldn’t find a compelling reason to say no to A’s request. 
But I think he underestimated two things:
1) How shitty it would feel to have A at the premiere as his date after getting so close to N in those last few legs of the tour. I think Ireland especially shifted something and he realized not just how much N meant to him but, very importantly, how much he meant to N.
2) How much N would care about A’s presence. I think N must have played it very cool about A during the tour. Either didn’t really acknowledge her or brought her up in a casual way to show she was unbothered. But I think the sequence of Brazil, Toronto, and especially Ireland hit N hard and she became emotionally invested in (and available to?) L in a way that she hadn’t let herself be before. I’m not sure she said anything to him, but I think they could both feel it. A’s presence at the prem ended up feeling like a slap in the face to N in a way that L did not anticipate. 
I think L initially thought that having A at the premiere would be a confidence boost, but having her there backfired. He didn’t realize how awkward and embarrassed he would feel by A’s presence. When it’s just L and A  or when they’re with R and S, L doesn’t feel as self-conscious about things like A’s age, her SM antics, her unseriousness. But when he, N, and A are all in the same space, the silliness of his relationship with A and the differences between N and A really hits him. Frankly (and I don’t say this to be cruel to A), I think he feels mortified about N witnessing his relationship with A up close and personal. So I think what we’re witnessing at the red carpet and in the pap pics is a man who committed to a plan (inviting A and setting up the pics) at a time when he felt a) insecure in his connection with N, 2) unaware of how much N cared about him, and 3) unaware of how much he would care about N’s opinion of him (sorry, that’s convoluted). We know he is not a decisive person, so he let this nightmare scenario play out and is now living with the consequences of his passivity. 
That is ALL TO SAY: I think it’s possible to believe that L was involved with the pap pics AND that he cares about N/didn’t want to hurt her/is totally in love with her. Anyone else out there who feels like it’s possible to hold these two truths in your head at once?
so this is more of a take I saw floating around in the wake of it all
curious to see how it lands with y'all now
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babushkatty · 9 months
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Tranquil SAGAU - Part 6
-> Part 1
-> Part 5
With Dvalin gone, you were left basically homeless. Not that it was much of an issue, not really. The forests had been very kind to you -- you could easily live the life of a hermit if you so wished, without having to worry about food, water, shelter or animal attacks.
But it would also be horribly lonely. No compassionate silence, no background noise and buzz of other people scurrying around and going about their day without minding you, no one to speak to if you ever felt the need to.
You liked being alone, but you were still human and humans were social animals.
Soooooo, you promptly asked Crepus about working in his Winery in exchange for accommodations, because 'one that asks, does not stray'... or something like that anyways. Your sister always made her life that much harder because she outright refused to ask for help even when hopelessly lost or overwhelmed, so there must be something to the saying at least.
"You don't have to work to earn your keep, (Name). I'd be more than happy to house you as my guest for however long you want!" is what Crepus 'Sunshine Personified' Ragnvindr responded with.
Crepus used Puppy Eyes, it was super effective!
You laid defeated, a puddle of cuteness overload once again wishing for sunglasses to protect yourself from the blinding smiles and imaginary wagging tails.
Crepus was horrible for your heart.
Still, you would go insane if left with nothing to do for days at a time, so you went to turn the Ragnvindr library upside down with Crepus' blessing, a bunch of notebooks, a bunch of pens and a delusion that you'd do any actual studying in there.
This was Teyvat, but this wasn't Genshin Impact -- a library wouldn't have interesting lore, it'd have dry history and even drier geography, accompanied by boring economics and even more boring politics (which was a damn shame too, politics were so interesting when written right).
You never quite had a head for those, prefering subjects with more practical applications that could be practiced instead of having to be beaten into your thick skull until you memorized it just long enough to write the exam.
Though for some ungodly reason you still remembered that onions were actually leaves. It was one of the very few things you remembered from school, actually.
Probably the trauma speaking.
Still, you did find some interesting books - a diary speaking of the Decarabian rule, for example.
Today, I don my very own Windblume.
I can only hope Lord Decarabian never learns of its' significance.
.  . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆
The winds are particularly harsh today.
I am afraid, but I smile and play my lyre as if nothing were happening at all, like I always do.
Sometimes, I forget if what I do is to reasure the people or to delude myself that everything is as it should be...
Then again, does it matter when the result remains the same?
.  . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆
The people are growing restless.
Their yearning for freedom gave birth to a small wind spirit that seems fond of my playing. It is an adorable being, even if it has yet to communicate with us.
It remind me of a newborn puppy.
.  . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆
The people are planning a rebellion.
I want to help, but how can I? I am no soldier, my strength lays with the pen and the lyre, not with the sword.
Ragnvindr told me there was no need for more warriors, that I was doing enough by keeping the morale up with my performances... I am hesistant to believe him.
.  . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆
The little spirit has spoken for the first time today.
It said that it knew the song I was playing, despite it being a new piece I was in the midst of creating, and sang along to lyrics I had yet to write.
It was strange, but it made me happy nonetheless.
Perhaps I was strange too, for feeling that way.
.  . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆
You had a suspicion on who the author of the diary was by that point. Maybe Crepus would be open to giving this diary to Venti, instead of it gathering dust on the shelf?
Idly, you wondered how it had survived so long, but figured Ragnvindr and his descendants took good care of it.
I met Ragnvindr today.
Something compelled me to share my worries with him, even though I knew he had enough weight on his shoulders and I ought not to add more.
"If you cannot trust in yourself, then trust in me and my trust in you instead" he told me.
It helped.
.  . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆
Meetings regarding the rebellion are more and more frequent. Ragnvindr, alongside a man named Amos, have convinced the Gunnhildr clan to participate against all odds.
I can understand their hesitance. Should we fail to kill Lord Decarabian, their legacy would be no more.
I admire their bravery.
.  . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆
The wind has long since realized change is imminent, even when Lord Decarabian himself has not - the little spirit said so.
King of Gales indeed, even the wind has rebelled against him.
.  . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆
Ragnvindr speaks of a bad premonition.
In truth, my heart is uneasy as well, but how can I share those feelings with anyone but myself? It is not the time to bother others with my issues -- it is time to reassure everyone, to rouse their spirit and not to let fear take root even as they stand against a God. It is my duty as a bard and as a fellow rebel.
The Windblume feels particularly heavy as I write this.
I fear I will not live to see tomorrow's sunset, but I fear for my dearest friends and for Mondstadt even more.
.  . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆
My little spirit friend is still without a name.
I know it does not bother them, they are the wind itself after all, but I would still like to give them a name others can remember them by.
A name that they can remember me by once I pass on, selfish as it is to bind an immortal to a memory.
But I am selfish, even if Ragnvindr may see me as a paragon of virtue. I am a human and to be human is to be flawed. I am not ashamed of it, even if I often feel guilty for it.
Perhaps it will be the very last thing I achieve in this life of mine.
It is hard to name them.
I've thought of many names up until now.
Caelus. Liberius. Aella. Calliope. Achill. Carmine. Hilarius. Hanne. Zephyrinus. Dieter. Sascha. Scilla. Paulus. Notus. Veronica. Agna. Vergil.
Those are just a few of the ones I discarded.
None fit.
I can only hope the right name reveals itself when it is time.
.  . • ☆ . ° . • ° : . * ₊ ° . ☆
That was the last entry.
You closed the diary and carefully put it aside.
☆(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ* ✨ Author Note✨
It was not supposed to be mostly nameless bard POV via old diary.
It really wasn't.
Mans literally kidnapped the chapter entirely against my will while I was half asleep yesterday and attempting to write at nearly midnight and I was powerless to stop it, on god.
But hey, at least we got potential Venti bonding set up for the future?
I was planning for more fluff, but I also have no outline for this, so my chapters have a chance of getting kidnapped at any time.
✨BY THE WAY!!!!✨
The charm of spontaneous writing, I guess?
If you have something you want to happen - for example we're in the library right now, so maybe you want a book about a specific tidbit to appear - do let me know, maybe I'll write it in!
I had 2 tests and 1 retake yesterday and holy shit i got through all of them and tomorrow is last day of uni then it's ✨HOLIDAYS✨
✨Taglist✨
@game-savvy @chaoticfivesworld @mmeatt @avalordream @ymechi @andromeda-gay @naynayaa @undecidingfate @thedevioussmirk @tumb3ld0wn @balaur-bondoc @yi-chii @yarabutterfly @nervouseaglelover @vexingpraedyth @indelible-colouring-markers @whitefantasy21-blog @kapitankarate
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starlightsuffered · 2 months
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Forget the Past
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Info - angst Fic, some dub con, ascended Paul, unprotected sex, political marriage, technical cheating, yearning, Fremen reader, mention of having children
I spat blood out of my mouth as I was thrown to the floor of the emperor’s palace. Emperor, that very word sent chills through my bones. He was not my leader, not my king, and definitely, not my emperor. I had sworn it since that day he had declared it. I would not bow to him.
I tried to struggle to my feet. I didn’t think the emperor himself would deign to see a single lowly Fremen that had been caught, but I didn’t want to kneel regardless.
I was harshly pushed down every time I tried to lift myself on aching ankles. I was covered in muck and blood. Sand must’ve been in every crevice of my body. I wanted to wash off in the Fremen pools, and sleep, but my entire life was about to change. I’d been captured and there was nothing I could do.
“Y/n,” said a gasp. I lifted my head and locked eyes with him.
It had been half a decade since he’d taken Princess Irulan’s hand and declared a Holy War. He’d tried to contact me. He’d tried to send messages to me. I’d ignored everything he’d done. He would not be the saviour of my people. He was our next oppressor.
He was still beautiful though he was not the boy I’d once known. His dark curls and piercing eyes still made my heart pound a little faster. I couldn’t believe he’d known who I was under the blood and rubble. Yes, he’d tried to contact me, but that had stopped years ago. I assumed now he rested with his empire and his new wife.
“Take her to the bath house,” Paul said with a flick of his fingers.
“But your Greatness, Emperor, she is a traitor. She is one of the ones who does not follow your golden path to paradise,” argued the guard. They should have known better.
“LISTEN!” The bene gesserit gift of the voice echoed through the room. I hated that awful power. He was more foreign than he ever was when he used that manipulation tactic.
“Take her to the finest bath chamber we have. Give her a robe and clothing, but watch the doors. Do not let her escape,” Paul said, and with a flash of his robe, he was gone.
I was treated kindly. Their fingers did not dig into my skin. I was not shoved as I had been before. The fear and awe of the Emperor was great and fierce enough to have them obey even when out of his eye sight.
I remembered when he’d been a younger man. His large eyes and cautious ways had made me fond of him. He had let me teach him so many things. He had been so willing to learn. Now I assumed he thought that he knew all and saw all.
I bathed in the luxurious water. I couldn’t believe he’d wasted so much on me. I normally would have refused but men were stationed outside my door to make sure that I did as I was told.
I attempted to use as little as possible. It was not Fremen to use water so lavishly. I was disassociating though. I didn’t feel like I was truly in my body. All I saw was green eyes and sharp cheekbones.
I put on the silky pink robe. It was the softest thing I had ever worn. It was also short, and much of my legs were exposed. This too I was not used to. Baring your skin to the Arrakis sun was foolish, but here….. perhaps this place, this palace was more like Caladan.
I remembered how Paul told me it poured water from the skies there. He had promised that one day he would take me there and show me. There were a lot of promises he hadn’t kept.
I smashed my fist against the cold stone wall in defeat. I hated that I still thought of him. I hated that I gave him the time of day even in my mind. He had utterly betrayed me and I doubted he’d given it a second thought. He was the Messiah after all, they didn’t have regrets.
“You’re even more beautiful than the day you left me,” said a voice. It was calm and deep.
I turned to see Paul in the door way. He was in white robes. He looked older, though nothing much had changed about his face. It was his aura.
“I never thought I’d see you again my angel,” he said in a breath. It was the most unsteady he’d sounded this entire time.
He was rushing to me then as if he could not hold himself back. He had me in his strong grip even though I struggled. He was looking over every inch of me. I realised he was making sure I was okay and uninjured.
“Unhand me,” I snarled.
“Y/n, my love, my love,” he gasped. He was pressing his forehead against mine. I didn’t like how I was instantly pulled into his gravity.
“Y/n,” he crooned again. His hand curled into my hair.
“Let me breathe you in.”
“You deserve to breathe in smoke and choke,” I spat.
“My love, it’s me, it’s Paul,” he said. It wasn’t him. It was someone different. It was the Emperor, I didn’t know him.
“You are a married,” was what I raggedly said, though so many other things mattered so much more.
“You know I don’t love her. You are my only,” he told me earnestly.
“Yet there is a wedding ring on your finger.”
“She lives a life of celibacy, as do I. I have saved myself for you,” he whispered. His eyes still were trying to search mine. He was looking desperately for some part of me to tell him he wasn’t crazy for continuing to love me.
“Die,” I growled.
I turned around and made my way to the door. Paul let me go for a moment and then his body was behind me again. His hand was flat on my stomach.
“Paul,” I said with a warning in my voice.
“Please, she means nothing to me,” he promised. “She hasn’t known a moment of my tenderness, not like you have.
I thought of the Fremen lovers I’d taken to blow off steam, to release tension, to forget Muad’Dib, to soothe my wounds, to be held for once in a long while. I didn’t feel a moment of loyalty to them in this moment, but I wished they were here. I needed someone, something to distract me from the light that was Paul. I was an insect careening towards brightness though it was bound to be my downfall.
Had he really stayed loyal to my memory? Had he truly never touched Irulan the way he had me? If this was true, why could he not have loved me enough to not become what he was now?
“I will love you as long as I breathe,” he murmured into my neck. His hand moved lower.
A horrible noise echoed in the chamber. It was me. I was moaning. My body seemed to think it belonged with his. My brain screamed at me as I leaned back against him.
The heel of Paul’s palm was rolling against my clothed pussy. My trembling hand reached up and grabbed at the back of his neck.
“I could snap your neck right now,” I whispered.
“My love,” was all he said in response.
“Paul,” I tried to say. It came out as more of a warbling hum.
He was lifting my robe. I felt the press of his length. I was panting. I knew he’d stop if I used our old safe word, but I couldn’t manage it. How many nights had I craved one more touch from him.
“I never got to say goodbye,” he moaned. His lips were peppering along my throat. My pulse fluttered.
“Oh my darling, let me have you once more?” He pleaded.
“You’re despicable,” I huffed.
“You’re everything,” he responded.
I couldn’t help the way my body melted into his. I was rolling against his hand. I let him push down his pants and rub his member against my wet folds. I wore no panties under the robe.
“May I?”
“Who am I to turn down an Emperor,” I panted.
I was glad I was backed up against him. I didn’t want him to see my eyes as he pushed inside me. It was like every taste of him, every memory, every delicious feeling came back with him.
“You feel like heaven. You are bliss,” he murmured in my ear. He pumped inside me.
I closed my eyes and let go. I let the sounds I wanted to make fall from my mouth. I was keening as he held my hips possessively. He was snapping in and out as he mumbled praises against my skin.
“Perfect, what I was made for. You should be empress. Bare my children, be my goddess,” he pleaded. He didn’t use that harsh Bene Gesserit power on me, but he just pleaded.
Pleasure was erupting over me on chills. I imagined we were back in the dessert. We belonged to one another again. He was on the good side.
It was like we had never been separated. I was part of him again. We were one. I was shaking with the weight and glorious gratification of the connection. If I believed in connected souls, it would have to be us.
“Paul, Paul, Paul,” I repeated.
“I knew you missed me. I thought of you every night. Every time I chastely kissed her goodnight, I imagined it was you, and I imagined it was more than chaste.”
I felt tears fill my eyes. He had to go and ruin it. He had to bring the present into the past. I felt some of the warm light fade.
“Muad’Dib,” I sobbed, unable to call him his other name.
“Call me yours,” he pleaded. My mouth stayed shut.
I tried to lose myself in the lust again. I closed my eyes again and leaned back. I began to speak. I said all the things I’d imagined I’d say if things had been different.
“I stayed up nights thinking about how much I loved you. I didn’t mind the sunshine if I was able to wake up and see your face more clearly,” I mumbled.
“Y/n?” He asked.
“You made me giggle, smile, dream, and more. You made me feel home in a person and not a place.”
“Oh y/n,” he shuddered. He began to move faster. Despite myself, pleasure overwhelmed me. I arched and let out a whine.
“I love you. I never stopped, I never will!” He promised me. He rolled his hips and played with my clit to make it all feel more intense.
“I loved you like the moon loves the stars. I loved you like a flower loves water. You were part of my soul. I wanted to bare your children. I never wanted to imagine a life without you.”
“Yes, that is exactly how I feel. Oh, darling, I’m so close!” He gasped.
He was holding me tight and reverently as he pounded inside me. His lips were attached to my neck. He let out a pant of pure lust and need. His warm seed began to fill me.
I couldn’t help but fall over the edge too. I was doused in swirling stars once again. Once again the world was beautiful as we reached our heights together.
I heard the wetness as he pulled himself out of me. I stepped forward robotically and turned around. Paul’s eyes were glazed over with a film of pure love and satisfaction. This nearly dopey expression, the one I recognised from when we used to make love, fell when he saw the look in my eyes.
“Y/n?”
“Go back to your wife,” I said in a full tone. He was understanding now that everything is said had been past tense.
“Y/n!” His voice was shrill and worried now. He had truly become so haughty he hadn’t expected another rejection.
“Forget the past, Emperor,” I finished with a mock curtsy.
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mischelmayleys · 4 months
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Only this first one is going to be post here probably so for more go to my wattpad: football_woman_11
CHAPTER 1
Mapi and Ingrid were the perfect ending for each other. They knew it of course. But sometimes they felt like something was missing. Maybe someone. Some little legs running around their shared apartment in the catalonia town. 
It started as a thought from their conversation one simple evening that turned them into a fostering process. They were told they are too busy and always traveling for the games as all the workers have said. It wasn't an environment for a little kid that probably came out of something tragic to find itself in a foster system. 
They still tried. They still asked if there was someone they could foster and later adopt. But the simple "No" set their hopes to minimum, until one day.
„Are you totally insane Eliza!" My social worker yelled at me as soon as she found me in a police station sitting in the 24 hour jail. I looked down at my bleeding knuckles and pursed my lips to stop the pounding pain in them.
I shrugged my shoulders and let myself sink further into the uncomfortable wooden chair.
„Do you have any idea how this will look  on your record. Running from yet another of your homes is one thing there but fights. And don't let me start at your school records." She was looking at me through the bars of the cell.
„They weren't my home." I said looking up at her.
She sighs: „Eliza I know you don't like them, but you need to at least try. There aren't many families that want a 16 year old, yet trouble maker. You know how hard it was for me to find you Mr and Mrs Freemans?" She let the question sink. She didn't expect me to answer her, yet she stayed quiet.
„I was protecting myself in the fight AND running away was a way better option than staying." I argued back at her. She doesn't know how it is in the foster system. For her every family is good, but it's never the case.
I was in five families so far. Neither of them were okay.
In the first one the father abused me mentally the second one physically, but no one ever believed me.
Who would believe a 16year old girl over people who put everything together once they're investigating? No one...
I didn't eat normal food for a long time, of course I always ended up getting some bread or cold food, but my body was missing some hot and fresh food.
„Eliza we talked about this. A roof over your head is home.“ Again I stayed quiet and just stared at my now numb hands. She wasn’t right. Home is when you are somewhere you are loved and treated right. 
My social worker continued to look at me for a few more minutes until she signaled for the cop to release me: „You are sleeping in my office tonight. The family dropped your things into my car. Come on.“ She grabbed me by my arm and dragged me into her car. 
„You bailed me out?“ I asked as she started the engine. 
„Yes.“ It was a simple answer but it made me smile a little. At least someone cared. 
The next day my social worker forced me into my classes and said after school to go immediately to her office, saying she found a family for me to stay over there for a couple of days. I didn’t bother to go, instead I went to a small football field where I sneaked and borrowed one ball which was always lying around somewhere on the pitch. 
I threw my backpack onto the field which didn’t include any of my school stuff. Instead of books it was filled with my football shoes and a half of my skateboard. The other half was showing from the back pack as it of course didn’t fit into him.
I quickly changed my shoes and began to do some tricks with the ball that I learned online. They were simple but at least I didn't suck at it like I did with school. 
It wasn't like I was stupid or something, I just didn't care. Foster kids don't normally get picked out to the school football team or to anything really. You don't have many friends because you are always moving around and no one likes new kids anyway. 
After some time my phone blew up with messages and missed calls from my social worker asking where the FUCK I was. I just rolled my eyes and said I'll be there in a few minutes. It was better to come late, at least they won't pick me if they see that I'm not bothered. 
I would lie if I didn't say I was scared to go into the office door. It would mean meeting the people who I would live with. They never were nice people fostering me. 
They seemed okay but most of them turned out into drug junkies, alcoholics or abusers. Sometimes all at once. I am kind of used to it now. I mastered a skill in running away and quickly scanning the areas I was in to see a potential way out. 
I took a deep breath and with a bored expression knocked on the door and opened them immediately after. 
I was met with my social worker and two women talking.  
„Eliza, come here. Sit.” My social worker said, making me sigh and sit into the chair next to her facing the two women. 
„This is Maria and Ingrid and they will take you in, until I find someone to adopt you.” my social worker was saying but all I was focusing on were the two women in front of me. 
One of them had tattoos all over her arms and one on her neck. I focused on that one more: 
Looks can be deceiving
Hmm interesting. People with tattoos tend to look aggressive and most of the time they are. One of the last foster homes I was in, the man had many tattoos…I used to look at them when he beat me up. How his muscles flexed and the tattoos moved on his arms. 
„Eliza!” I was torn from my thoughts because my social worker called my name. 
„Yeah, sure whatever.” I mumbled annoyed and stood up. 
„Be nice and please stay out of trouble.” She said as I followed Ingrid and Maria out of the door. 
I took a deep breath: „No.” And with that I closed the door and turned around to find them staring at me.
„What?” I asked.
Ingrid smiles at me: „We are waiting for you.” she stuck out her hand and I just looked at it and walked past them. 
„Or not.” I heard Maria mumble as they followed me closely.
Due to me not knowing where to go I stopped and looked back at the two women. 
„It’s that black Cupra.” Ingrid pointed out a black car sitting at the back of the parking lot. 
I nodded and walked to the car feeling them right behind me. 
I quickly slipped into the back seat and sat down with my backpack next to all of my bags which I don't know how they got there. Probably my social worker. 
I pulled my board between my legs so I don't make the interior of the car dirty. It was so clean. 
„So, are you hungry? Or did you eat in school?” Maria turned from the front seat facing me. 
I shook my head quickly: „I am not hungry.” I learned that by now, when someone asks me if I'm hungry the answer always has to be no. I once said yes and I hadn't eaten anything for three days due to me being ungrateful. 
They both shared a concerned look which I didn't see because I was already looking out of the window.
When Ingrid stopped the car I realized that we were in front of McDonald's. I frowned, why are we here if I said I'm not hungry?
„I know you said you aren't hungry but I think some fries aren't that big of a deal, what do you say?” Ingrid turned my way smiling. Why the fuck is she smiling at me? 
„I guess…” I mumbled in case this was some kind of a trap. Ingrid and Maria looks nice…nicer that the other people, but I am done trusting the system putting me somewhere nice.
They both went outside of the car as I stayed in. 
„Well you are coming too let's go.” Maria said as she opened the door on my side. Fuck! I mumbled under my breath and got out of the car carefully placing my board into the space between the seats. 
They were asking too many questions. If I really want just fries? If I want a burger as well? Or what I want to drink. I tried to reply short and no to most of the questions, but in the end I ended up with The nuggets, fries and coke zero in the back placed safely in my lap as we sat in the car to their house.
I still don’t know what to think about them. They are smiling at me, buying me food and making sure I have everything and it has only been two hours since they first met me. There must be something wrong with them…
Ingrid parked the car in front of a flat building in the center of Barcelona. It looked expensive here…or at least better than the streets where my usual foster parents lived. Maria took all of my bags even though I said I could carry them on my own, but she dismissed me by saying: “Why would you do that?” 
I didn’t fight her back on it, not because I didn’t want to, but it was Ingrid who literally guided me out of Marias way. 
“Come on let Maria be, I am going to show you your room.” Ingrid said and with her hand on my back she led me into the elevator. I had the Mcdonald's back in one hand and my board in the other one. I get my own room? 
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thisismeracing · 10 months
Text
Pretty Liar | LN4 (Patreon exclusive)
― Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader ― Word count: 5.6k ― Warnings: mentions of food and alcohol; +18! graphic description of sex (p in v, oral - both, fem and male receiving). ― Summary: Ever since Lando was a kid he knew his future would bring fame somehow, always involved with racing and having just what it needed to become a Formula 1 driver, he was happy with everything it entailed, up until said future became his present and he realized there was also a rough side to the fame. That’s why, when he found you – someone who had no idea who he was, he kept his career from you. He would tell you, and he would eventually clarify the situation, he had it all planned, however, all it took was one week. One week for you to discover that what you thought started as a beautiful story, was actually a perfectly told lie. Lando was pretty, but he was also a liar. Now he had to find a way to explain everything, and you had to find it in you to forgive him.
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Some scientists believe that it takes around ten minutes for an average person to make an everyday decision. Yet, the moment Yn’s eyes met Lando’s, and he smiled at her, she knew they would go home together that night, and this exchange took less than a second. 
His face seemed familiar, but she couldn’t remember where. She thought maybe it was from an old Instagram post their friends in common had made. Maybe they saw each other in a pub before. The city wasn’t that big, their crowds were similar, and they were both young.
Lando seemed surprised with the news, “You don’t…know me?” 
“Should I?” Yn asks, quirking her eyebrows with a glimmer of humor in her stare. 
He shook his head before Oliver, their common friend, could say something, “Nah, it’s just…I’m a DJ, I thought maybe you had seen something about me around a party you know?!” 
Yn bit her lower lip, chuckling. “I’m sorry, I’m sure you must be a great DJ, but I’ve never heard of a Lando Norris before.” 
“Now I’m hurt,” the Brit turned to their friend, and Oliver’s laugh boomed around. 
That was how their first interaction went, with both aware of the tension line being pulled. Lando had never seen someone match his energy like she did, and Yn had never felt that giddy with a guy before. When someone grabbed Oliver away, the speakers gave space to a remixed tune of  Zedd and Yn asked what Lando was playing that night, or if he was playing at all. 
He smiled at her showing the small gap between his teeth which she decided was one of her favorite features of his, after his eyes, “It depends. What do you want me to play?”
“Oooh, smooth, I like it!” she giggled, taking a sip of her drink, and using the seconds to breathe in some air. “Would you mind playing Rihanna?” 
“Most recent ones or oldies?” 
“Around 2010s would be perfect.”
“I know exactly the song,” he announced like a promise, and Yn nodded, grabbing his hand, lacing their fingers, and starting to head in the direction of the bar. It would be an hour or so until the pub’s DJ finished his thing. 
“Do you wanna drink something?” Yn stopped to say in his ears now that the song seemed much louder and so did the crowd. Lando’s free hand grabbed her waist, and he shouted back that he had just grabbed his refill, but he was fine going with her. 
Truth was, Lando didn’t even like the bar area that much, drunk people would tend to gather there sometimes, spill their alcohol, scream, and try creating scenes, but something about Yn’s eyes would make him follow her to hell, and they had just met. That felt a tad scary, but he wouldn’t think too much about it, trying to focus his mind on Danny’s words about enjoying the butterflies, enjoying the naivety, and enjoying the nerves that came with it. 
**********************
“I still gotta learn how to bake properly.”
“We could try together. I know a thing or two about sugary recipes,” she suggested. “Meanwhile, you cook the main dish and I make the dessert—” she stopped mid-sentence, putting the palm of her hand on her forehead. “We forgot about dessert, Lan!” 
But the pilot can only grin, watching in awe as her lips pout slightly.
“I didn’t.”
“What do you mean?” her tone started with a confused hint, but when their eyes met and Yn caught the way his gaze drifted  across her body like a caress bringing a shiver along. Her legs instinctively crossed in search of the slight tinge of pressure. 
“Oh, you know exactly what I mean,” his grin was wicked, and the way his head pointed to the space in front of him at the table almost made Yn whimper. Lando pushed the plate and glass to the side, watching as Yn got up and walked to him. The noises of the city came through the open windows, just like the cold wind, creating the perfect harmony with the way her bare steps hit the ground, the slight sound coming from it. 
The legs of Lando’s chair scraped on the ground when he pushed it just a tiny bit to make room for Yn. She sat on his lap, legs on either side of him, caging him in place, and giving him the feeling of her bare cunt against his dress pants. 
“Aren’t you wearing anything under the dress?” he asked, mocking shock on his expression. 
Yn merely shook her head, “It would just ruin it anyway.”
And just like that cooking conversations and random subjects were long forgotten, their lips smashed together in a heated kiss, and Yn moaned into his mouth when Lando gripped her waist and guided her movements on top of him, his cock hardening with each motion. 
*****************
“Come in my mouth,” she rasped, it sounded like a plea, and Lando couldn’t help but give it to her. At that moment he would give her anything and everything she asked for. The way her eyes blinked at him from between his legs, mascara a bit smudged on her cheeks, lips swollen from sucking, she looked like an angel. 
And he couldn’t deny an angel its request.
So when her mouth enveloped him again, cheeks hollowing and tongue twirling Lando gripped the table, hips buckling slightly and body finally succumbing to pleasure. He watched as his cum leaked from her mouth, his dick still spurting the white liquid and making it land on her chin and collarbone. 
Yn grinned up at him, licking her lips. 
He scooped cum from her chin using his finger and she eagerly opened her mouth, sucking his thumb and smiling up at him again. At that moment, he wanted them to be intimate enough, so he could grab a camera and save that image. Frame it. Store it under locks. Have it with him forever. Something about the way she looked and what they had just done stirred his insides again.
“Can I have mine now?” he scooped more cum this time from her collarbone and Yn nodded, parting her lips to him again. 
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────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi, honeybees! I hope you guys liked this piece. I've been meaning to write a long piece for Lan for a while now, and it felt good to put this together, I'm looking forward to writing more for him, let me know if you wanna see it! <3 I wanted to add a huge shout-out to Delia (@struggling-with-delia) for proofreading and beta-reading this (Ily, Dee!).
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ficsilike-reblogged · 11 months
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Hungry For Heaven
Summary: Beau knows he shouldn’t have feelings for his young, pretty secretary. But he can’t help it. Pairing: Beau “Cyclone” Simpson/F!Reader (No Y/N) Word Count: 4.6k ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS ALLOWED A/N: This is my second entry for the 80’s Rocktober Challenge hosted by @roosterforme - I picked Dio’s song “Hungry For Heaven.” I hope you enjoy! Warnings: Naval inaccuracies, Cain is a creep for plot reasons, my gratuitous use of italics and song lyrics, a coyote ugly reference, female receiving oral sex, power imbalance
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His girl. Cyclone’s girl. Simpson’s girl. The Admiral’s girl. That’s how most people referred to you when speaking with Beau. And he had never admitted how much he liked it, instead telling people to at least acknowledge your rank. But in the dark of his rooms, in the recesses of his mind, Beau liked it. He liked that you were his. 
Sort of.
Beau knew it was cliche. Falling for his young, pretty secretary was probably the most cliche thing that he could have ever done. But it hadn’t been a choice, really. You had appeared one day, three years ago, like a whirlwind and Beau had been left in your wake. You kept a tight ship, just as he did. You had been a perfect match for him, keeping him organized and on time for all his meetings and classes. You had made the mountains of paperwork he was always saddled with much easier to swallow and he had thought he was dreaming when you’d first handed over a thick stack of papers and told him he just needed to sign at the bottom of the last page. You’d basically done a week of reports for him and had left Beau with a pen in his hand and a tight stomach as you sauntered back out of his office. But that was what you did, he learned. You made his life easier. Gave him time to breathe. You were his girl. 
It was more than a little embarrassing to realize his…affection for you was noticed by anyone. Thankfully, the only person he knew for a fact suspected anything was Admiral Bates, who had quietly told him that it was about time he was happy. Embarrassing. It was a kindness, true, but Beau would have preferred if he hadn’t said anything at all. These feelings were inappropriate and completely against Naval regulation and protocol and he couldn’t stop.
“You’re not staying much later, are you?” 
Beau looked up from his computer, reading yet another request from Maverick about his insane dog fight simulations he wanted the newest Top Gun class to try, to see you in the doorway of his office. The usual, soft smile was on your face—the smile he liked to think you reserved just for him. His mouth curled up at the edges too; he couldn’t help it. “Just trying to rein in Maverick.” 
You scoffed and shook your head but your smile remained. “You’re going to be here all night, then. Again.” 
Beau had to hide his laugh behind his hand. You knew him too well. “I won’t.” 
You hummed, obviously not believing him. “I’ll order you dinner. Do you want Chinese or Italian? You had barbecue two nights ago.” 
His heart twisted, like it usually did whenever you so easily showed how well you knew him. “Italian, if you could, Lieutenant. With-”
“With extra breadsticks, I know. I’ll make sure they don’t forget again.” 
You were gone from the doorway before he could thank you but you returned not thirty minutes later with his promised dinner and another smile. A cursory glance let him know that the extra breadsticks were indeed included this time and you set a silverware roll from the mess hall beside the bag. 
“You’re too good to me, Lieutenant.” Beau winced as soon as the words left his mouth but you simply smiled. “And I thought you were on your way out for the weekend?” 
Your smile widened. “I am. But I wasn’t about to leave you hungry.” 
Beau’s entire chest ached and he tried to smile again but he was sure it looked more like a grimace. “Big plans?” 
“My friend’s bachelorette party. We are going bar hopping after getting pole dance lessons.” You paused before a grimace crumpled your features. “You didn’t need to know that. I apologize. That was unprofessional.” 
Beau felt his throat bob, mouth suddenly dry. Seeing you in your khakis or in any of the other Naval uniforms had been all Beau had been given, aside from when you needed to grab something from your office over the weekend a few months ago and he got to see you in a sinful pair of shorts and low cut top. But imagining you in one of those tight, tiny dresses he knew women your age wore and learning how to dance like that had his stomach in knots. 
He was being unprofessional. He was supposed to be the one who approved or rejected paperwork for relationships like this. He wasn’t supposed to be wanting one. And he wasn’t even sure if you saw him as anything other than the old man who needed help keeping his meetings and paperwork in a row. 
Sure, you joked with him, nursed a glass of expensive bourbon with him after the Uranium Mission, and Beau liked to think he caught you appreciating the view when he partook in the swim call during your last shared deployment and you handed him a towel to dry off…but that did not mean anything in the grand scheme of things. 
He knew that. 
But he couldn’t get you out of his head. 
“I hope you have a good time. You’ve certainly earned it. I know I run you ragged here.” 
The hard line of your shoulders lessened and your smile returned as you shook your head. Your hand settled over his and you gently squeezed his fingers, touch not retreating immediately and Beau tried not to revel in it too much. “I love working for you. You have to know that by now.” Beau watched your mouth open again before you bit your lip. 
Beau could imagine a million different things you could have said after that. But you didn’t say any of them. You didn’t say anything at all aside from a soft, “anyway, have a good night, Admiral. Please don’t stay too late.”
And then you were gone, leaving Beau alone with the scent of your floral perfume, the echo of your warm hand on his, and an ache in his chest. 
It was fine. 
This was fine. 
He ate his dinner as he tried to find the least insane simulation Maverick had requested and hoped that it would end well next week. Honestly, having the Captain as the permanent Top Gun instructor was bad for his heart.
“Are you coming?”
Beau looked up from his paperwork to see Admiral Cain in his doorway, arms crossed over his chest. Oh, that was right. Cain had been invited to see the current Top Gun class in action. The higher ups thought it would be a way to “soften” Cain’s animosity toward manned aircrafts. It was ridiculous because Beau outranked Cain and he still walked around like his shit didn’t stink.
Mostly what it did was raise Beau’s blood pressure and had you running circles around base trying to keep Cain out of Beau’s office. It was a valiant effort, Beau knew, but Cain hardly ever followed any recommendation from someone who he deemed ‘beneath him.’ 
He glanced down at the calendar on his desk and saw your neat handwriting over today’s date. Drinks with Cain? :( 
Dammit.
“Yeah, let me just clean up and-”
“I’ll give you fifteen minutes.” And then he was gone, too. 
Biting back every swear he’d ever learned, Beau stood and cleared his desk of his dinner’s trash and filed everything away to deal with on Monday. He pulled on a different shirt and slacks he kept in his office’s closet for times like this and tried not to seem too unenthusiastic when he met Cain out in the parking lot. The effort was completely negated when the other man started bragging about the bar he wanted to try, touting that it was apparently popular with younger women who preferred older men. 
And while Beau did think of you for a moment, his stomach still rolled with the thought that Cain was on the prowl for someone younger when Beau knew that he had a wife and kids waiting at home for him. But still, he went, knowing the higher ups would frown at him not wanting to “play nice.” 
(Beau pocketed the thought that he could have Cain dishonorably discharged if he actually did something.) 
The drive to the bar was thankfully short and Beau had repeatedly told himself that it would be fine to leave after one overpriced drink before parking. He could hear the classic rock pouring from the stout brick building and he could still hear the waves crashing against the shore as he stepped up toward the front door. The bouncer at the front waved him in and Beau saw Cain already striding up toward the bar, turning his head to watch as a woman, carrying a tray of shots to a different table, walked by. 
Cain settled at the bar and Beau begrudgingly stood near him and waited for one of the three bartenders to take their order. When they were noticed, Cain was more than a little shameless with staring down the bartender’s shirt when she came to their corner of the bar top so Beau made a mental note to give her an extra tip with his drink as a silent apology. 
“What can I get started for you?” She asked, turning to Beau with a roll of her eyes. She’d apparently already had a long night. 
“Cognac, please.” 
The bartender quirked an eyebrow but almost smiled. “You seem like a top shelf kind of guy. Am I right?” 
Beau nodded and watched her grab a bottle of cognac he also had in his personal bar back home (where he’d rather be, but that was beside the point) and poured a few fingers of it into a glass before setting it atop a monogrammed napkin and pushing it in front of him. He handed over his card without a fuss and she seemed grateful when he didn’t ask to open a tab. 
Beau vacated his spot at the bar after leaving his promised tip and it was quickly taken by a woman who had to be about your age with a sash across her chest that read “Made of DisHonor” in bold, pink lettering. It was funny—there must be a bachelorette party here somewhere. 
Again, he thought of you—you had said your friend’s bachelorette party was tonight. 
As Beau settled into an overstuffed booth near one of the stained glass windows, he saw Cain still at the bar, now turned around to lean against it as he sipped on his martini. His gaze was bouncing from one woman to the next while completely ignoring the other men who would have probably preferred his spot at the bar to order. But it hardly mattered, really. Beau would have been content with finishing his drink by himself and not interacting with Cain at all. But Cain did eventually did spot him and Beau raised his glass in half hearted welcome but hoped that it would not be taken. 
Cain didn’t pick up on the abject disinterest on Beau’s face and started to make his way over. Dammit. However, he made it only a half dozen steps before getting pulled to a stop by a woman in a tight dress and a bright smile. 
Damn. All right. Apparently the reputation this bar had was not completely unfounded. 
Beau was quick to drag his gaze away from the uncomfortable scene and spotted the girl with the sash walking away from the bar with a tray of what looked like Jell-O shots in her hands. Beau watched her go with a smile, remembering his days back in college when his tongue was blue from drinks like those. She quickly passed out the small plastic cups and the grip Beau had on his cognac nearly slipped when he recognized one of the women in her group. 
You. 
God. You had always been beautiful but right now you were truly something else. Sinful and ethereal all at once. Stunning. Short dress. High heels. Burgundy lips. You were dressed for the festivities. Your sash read “Miss Behaving.” 
Of course it did. 
The bride, a cute woman in a tiny white dress with a giant white bow on the back of her head, herded everyone a little bit out of the throughway so a small group of men could get to the bar without needing to walk around. And you ended up closer to him. He could hear your laugh over the music as your friend pushed one of the Jell-O shots into your hand. 
“I’m driving tonight! I can only have one drink.” 
The woman with the Made of Dishonor sash pouted but still made sure your fingers were curled around the tiny plastic cup. “You said that at the last two bars, too. That’s why I got you a non-alcoholic Jell-O shot. Congrats. That is pure sugar and water, babe.” 
You laughed and Beau found himself smiling at the sound of it; he liked hearing you be happy. And he should have known that you would be the designated driver for your friends—you were always taking care of someone. (Usually it was him.) 
He watched you and your friends take the caps off the shots and clink them together with a shout of cheers for the bride as he took another sip of his own drink. It nearly came right back out as he coughed, watching your tongue skirt around the plastic. 
“There we go!” The bride cheered before patting your cheek with uncoordinated fingers but you laughed anyway. “I want you to have fun. Have fun with me.” 
“I am having fun! I promise,” you said before catching her hand and kissing her fingers, earning a giggle of your own. “And tonight isn’t about me!”
“I picked this bar for you!” The maid of honor said with a laugh of her own. “I was hoping I would be able to get your mind off that man who shall not be named.” “No, you chose it because they let you dance on the bar.” “That’s besides the point,” she retorted, finger pointed in your direction. “Two birds, one stone or whatever.” 
“What?” The bride asked, dragging out the single syllable. 
The maid of honor shook her head. “Babe, it has been over a year and you’re still hung up on him. You either need to get under him or get over him.” 
You swirled your finger around the empty, plastic container, pretending to care about the remnants of your Jell-O shot. “I can’t help it.” 
“What’s so special about him?” Another woman asked, stealing a second shot. “A year’s a long time.” 
“Oh no,” one of your friends groaned. “Don’t get her started.”
The bride pouted again. “But I wanna hear it. I don’t hear anything anymore! I don’t even know who we’re talking about!” 
“I’ve told you about him twice but that just…doesn’t matter,” you said, probably noting how intoxicated she was at the moment. “You’re busy with wedding planning, sweetheart. We don’t want to bother you.” 
She waved it away, pout persisting. “Tell me. Tell me right now! I’m your best…” she hiccuped. “Best friend. Tell me.” 
You licked your lips before sighing. “He’s…my boss.” 
There was an answering squeal from the bride and a few others in your group before you waved it away with a halfhearted scowl, like you were trying to keep the smile from your face. 
The grip on his drink was near painful now. 
You were talking about him. You had been hung up on him for over a year. 
“He’s just handsome and kind and funny. He’s nice when he wants to be and he’s always nice to me.” 
“But not to everyone else, right?” The maid of honor said, sounding like she’d heard this before. 
Beau adjusted his posture to try to hear your group better over the blaring guitars and thumping drums. He wanted to know what you had been saying—apparently repeatedly. 
“Yeah. I mean, he runs a tight ship-”
“That is a terrible pun.” 
“-but he tries to keep everyone safe and he just expects everyone else to do the same. So-”
“You’re burying the lede here. He’s smoking hot. A complete silver fox who’s got a banging bod.” 
You gaped at the Maid of Honor’s outburst and Beau watched your mouth open and close a few more times without a single word coming out. Is that what you had told your friends?
“And he’s sweet to you?” The bride repeated, hazy eyes sparkling. “You hafta marry him.” 
“They’re a sight for sore eyes. Good choice.” 
Beau felt something in his neck pop when he quickly turned his head to see Cain settling opposite him in the booth. The other man’s eyes were dragging all over your group without a care in the world. Dragging all over you. “Did you strike out?” The words were out of his mouth before he could even begin to think of a different response. “I saw you talking to someone else.” It was a pitiful recovery but Beau hid his distaste for the entire situation behind another gulp of his liquor. 
Cain’s mouth curled into a scowl for a moment. “You’ve been sitting here alone all night. You’re not doing any better.” A familiar sneer pushed at his features before he once again looked at your group. “Are you one of those that just likes to look?” 
Thankfully or not, Cain didn’t wait for an answer and stood again, making his way over to your group. Just for a moment, Beau thought about just leaving. Just getting up and leaving and pretending this entire night never happened. 
“A-Admiral Cain.” 
Your voice cut through Beau’s thoughts with ease. 
“I…I didn’t expect to see you here.” 
Cain squinted at you, probably trying to place your face and Beau saw the exact moment Cain recognized you, a smirk pushing at his mouth. A few of your friends started whispering into each other’s ears, probably wondering if this was the Admiral you were hung up on. “Ah, Lieutenant, I should have known it was you.” 
“Oh?” 
Cain’s smirk grew. “Yes ma’am. I think I’d recognize that-”
Beau had heard quite enough and stood abruptly, cognac still in his hand. “I think we’ve had enough tonight, Admiral. Time to head out.” 
The shock on your face only grew more apparent as you looked at him. “Admiral Simpson. Um…h-hi.” 
“That’s him,” the maid of honor hissed into the bride’s ear. 
Cain’s eyes were hard as they bored into the side of Beau’s face. He could feel them. But he couldn’t take his eyes off you. You were even more beautiful up close. Dammit. Again.
“Why don’t we let the ladies decide if I’ve had enough?”
Your eyes went wide and you took a step in front of your friends, hands fanning out to keep them behind you. “I apologize, sir, but I don’t think that is entirely appropriate.” 
“It could be our little secret and shouldn’t I be the one who says whether or not something is inappropriate? I’m sure we can all keep a secret.” 
Something Beau had spent years trying to suppress started to bite at the back of his mind. Cold rage. He moved to step in front of Cain, blocking you from the other man’s gaze. “We’re done here, Cain.” 
The tense line of his shoulders relaxed when he felt your warm hand press against his back. A quiet thank you. And the simple touch had warmth bleeding over him. 
“We are just about to leave-”
“Bride and babes!” The bartender who had served Beau hollered. “You’re up!” 
The maid of honor let out a curse and muttered something about never planning anything ever again before pushing everyone toward the bar again. And then Cain was saying something, Beau could hear the rumble of his voice at the back of his mind like a buzzing fly, but Beau couldn’t take his eyes off you. 
You as you tugged down your skirt after it had ridden up when you climbed. 
You as you helped the bride step onto one of the barstools. 
You as you followed suit until you and the rest of your friends were lined up on the bar. 
“Ladies and gents,” the bartender’s voice cut through the din of the bar just before the last song ended. “We have a special group here tonight. And they want to put on a little show for you all.” 
The crowd gave a raucous cheer and then the opening chords of a song he knew well swelled over the bar’s speakers. And then you (and your friends) started to dance. It was filled with spins and giggles followed by twists and turns that had your legs nearly glowing in the low light of the bar as Dio continued to sing. 
You're in danger, the last of a line
But the vision lasts forever…
The watching crowd hollered when you and the maid of honor showed off the moves you must have learned at your pole dancing lessons on either side of the bride. Beau couldn’t take his eyes off you. Wouldn’t. 
“I see it now.” Cain’s voice pulled his attention for just a moment. “You want her all to yourself.” 
He didn’t deign it worthy of a response. And honestly, what could he say? Denying it would be fruitless and accepting it would be handing over power to Cain. So, Beau said nothing. 
The young just getting older
We are sunlight
We can sparkle and shine
And our dreams are what we're made of… He just watched you. 
He dragged his eyes up your form and saw you looking straight at him. 
Just hold on You can make it happen for you Reach for the stars and you will fly You're hungry for heaven Hungry for heaven Hungry for heaven But you need a little hell, oh, hungry…
And, just for a moment, Beau felt like you were doing this all for him. This entire show was for him. That little dress and the way you inched it up your thighs as you moved was for him. The burgundy-tinged smile was just for him. The way your half-lidded gaze never strayed far from him in the crowd was for him. And maybe it was. Maybe it was all for him because as soon as the song ended and you helped your giggling friends off the bar—taking extra care to help the bride down as she poked at the tip of your nose—you turned to him. While your friends were swarmed by other patrons of the bar who had appreciated the show, you only looked at him. And then you were moving, pushing your way through the accumulated crowd and toward him. You licked your lips just before you slowed to a stop in front of him and Beau tracked the movement with his heart hammering in his throat. “Did you enjoy the show?” And what was he supposed to say to that? He had the wherewithal to notice Cain had retreated to a darkened corner with another drink and a different woman, his attention completely diverted. Beau paused for a moment before nodding. What good would lying do now? Something had shifted, irreparably changed. For better or worse. 
He could smell your perfume again as you moved closer, closer, closer. God, you were beautiful. And a voice that sounded almost like himself was screaming at the back of his mind that this was wrong, this was against all sorts of Naval regulations, that this would only end poorly- But it quieted as soon as your fingers pressed against his chest. He could feel each of your breaths against his mouth. He could smell your floral perfume with each of his own inhales and wanted to bury his nose in it. In you. But what Beau happily noticed was the lack of alcohol that hit his nose. You were sober. 
He knew adrenaline could make people do things that were out of character. Plenty of pilots, himself included, had landed their jet and jumped out, heart hammering and nerves buzzing. Maybe it was that for you, high off the little performance. Confident enough to approach your direct superior in a crowd. You sought him out. There was a silent conversation between you; were you going to do this? Could either of you stop? And Beau surged forward with his inevitable answer, closing the gap.
You tasted like heaven. Sticky sweet with a bite of something else and your hand gently curled over his chest as you sighed against his mouth. Your fingers inched up to press at the side of his neck as he licked between your lips. 
Every sigh, every little noise, every brush of your mouth against his had his heart racing. This was what he needed, what every part of him had wanted since you had first spent the night at his side, helping him do monotonous paperwork. Just you, in his arms, and your taste on his tongue. 
He didn’t even recall pulling you toward the small hallway that led to the bathrooms but he felt your smile against his mouth when he backed you against the wall. Your next breath puffed against his wet lips and your eyes still sparkled in the hallway’s shitty light. “We might have fifteen minutes before someone comes looking.” “I can do a lot in fifteen minutes.” 
The bathroom door creaked when he pulled you through it and the lock gave an answering click when he engaged it. You were soft everywhere and Beau groaned against your mouth as his hands skirted up your thighs, dragging the minuscule skirt of your dress with it. And you were sweet everywhere, too, as he tugged the tiny scrap of lace between your thighs to the side and drank you down. Your hands curled into his hair as he pulled one of your legs up and over his shoulder. He kept you upright as each flick of his tongue had you shaking and whimpering and filling his mouth. 
He could do this forever, even if his knees ached and his trousers were unbearably tight. 
Just as you shook in his grip and he felt you sliding down his chin, there was a sharp knock at the door. 
“We’re leaving! I’m giving you exactly thirty seconds to meet us outside.” 
Beau recognized the maid of honor’s voice on the other side. It was quickly followed by a chorus of giggles. But he hardly heard any of it as you sighed and curled your hands beneath Beau’s chin and pulled him up with a gentle tug. You kissed him, undoubtedly tasting yourself on his tongue, as your thumb swept gentle circles against his cheek. 
Your eyes were hazy and half-lidded again and you stole another kiss against his mouth when he pulled your dress back down. 
“You can definitely do a lot in fifteen minutes, Admiral.” Your finger swept beneath his lip, gathering the evidence of your secret and you licked it away. “I’ll return the favor. I promise.” 
Before you slipped away from him again, Beau kissed you again. He couldn’t get enough of it, of you. Nor the soft laugh you let out as you whispered you’d see him on Monday. 
Monday was going to be interesting. He didn’t know what it would bring, how any of this would turn out, but he had hope. And he liked to think you did, too. 
Beau couldn’t wait. 
A/N: please let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!
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furiousgoldfish · 3 months
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To all of you who are feeling behind on survival skills, worried you won't be able to succeed in life because you're not allowed to learn/not able to learn, I want you to know that some basics are extremely easy to get once you're able to try it on your own, or even just have one person explain it to you.
When I ran away from home, I didn't know how to cook, I wasn't allowed to learn, and first month or so, I was preoccupied with just learning how to cook. What I learned was that it was far more easy than my parents ever made it seem. If you're trying to cook just for proper nutrition and not make some fancy meals, most of what you have to do is heat the groceries, and salt them. If you cut up some vegetables and put them in water an add salt, you will have a soup. If you lay them on a tray and put them in the oven, you've made food. You can put stuff in a pan with some oil and stir it on heat and you have a meal. For basic eating, it can be really that simple. I also was able to pick stuff up just from my roommates, who would happily answer my questions, and a lot of people out there will happily explain to you how they make a certain food, and of course, there's video tutorials for specific meals, if you want to make something more complex. Once you have absolute freedom in the kitchen, you will pick this up rapidly.
I have never used a washing machine prior to running away, and then one person showed me once how to use one, and that was that. I was washing-machine certified after that. I gained extra knowledge about cleaning it on the internet, and some people randomly had tips for me about it. I learned to handwash later as well, and that works good too.
I've struggled at the beginning, to find easy and cheap ways to get stuff; the most common way to get things is to go to the store, but I didn't have a lot of money, and buying things was too expensive for me. I've since discovered just where to find the second-hand markets, how to get people to give me their old clothing so I never have to buy any, how to temper with stuff I have so I wouldn't have to buy anything, at this point I even know how to fix shoes and sew my own stuff. I've fixed blinds on almost every window in here, without even knowing how, I just dismantled everything and figured it out. I've put together closets and lamps. I've learned to open up my own laptop and change the parts inside, I've even changed the screen on my own, by watching a video on how it's done. I've learned how to repaint walls, how to tend to plants, how to maintain a living space. Often I'd see someone else who is able to do these things, and just ask. People who are not parents have no reason to gatekeep this information, and they proudly told me how they do it.
I've learned to organize my stuff to the point where I'm able to easily clean a big mess, and I don't get overwhelmed with things anymore. I've had to do some reading on the internet to figure out the situation with finances and economy, and I also asked some people, got wildly different answers from every person. When I have the opportunity to chat with someone who has a specific job, I ask them about what they do, and have them describe to me how that field of work functions. It gave me insight into a lot of inner workings of society that were previously a mystery to me.
I was able to figure this all out while having zero faith in myself; I believed I was stupid, incapable of survival, honestly thought I would be dead within few months. I was reading army survival guides so I could survive in the wild if I ever got homeless. I was learning even without believing that all of this would help me, it's only now looking back at everything that I understand how much knowledge I gained just from trying it and doing it in every possible way until it clicked.
The most complex for me, were the social skills, since I'm still easily scared of people. But I am slowly making progress on that and finding better ways to deal with people's behaviours. Being curious works well because people love when someone is curious about them and shows interest in what they do. It's been a revelation that outside of my home, I really can just ask any question I am interested about, and will usually get some kind of an answer, and not 'how do you not know this already'. Outside of abusive homes, you're not expected to know everything, without ever being told.
While survival skills and independence are deeply forbidden in an abusive situation, being out of one will practically guarantee you that you'll get them. Sometimes you'll be forced to learn some stuff like cleaning and cooking and you'll have no choice but to learn, and it will become easier the more you do it. But nobody will make you feel bad for not doing it right the first time, there will be no punishment, no berating, you're free mess it up any amount of times, without any consequences. I would say that maybe you wasted some time and effort, but no time or effort is truly wasted when you're learning something; rather it takes that time and effort to learn. But it's not painful, it's not shameful, it's not forbidden anymore. You can learn a lot of things at your own ease and convenience, without worrying about someone's opinion on what you're doing. You can also learn dumb things and never be criticized or called out on it, you can do absolutely ridiculous stuff that brings you joy and no harm is done.
I know feeling behind sucks, and it feels shameful and horrible, but the good news is that you can catch up very quickly, and not only that. If you really want to have a lot of survival skills under your belt, and you keep learning, you will soon know more than most people do. You can out-do any person out there if you have a passion for it. I had people who were telling me how to do basic stuff, surprised at me knowing more than they knew, just months later. It's a great feeling!
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