All right. Time to ramble about a new thing that grabbed me by the neck and didn't let me go until I finished all available episodes.
That new thing, my friends, would be the Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbidity, and Mortality. And despite being terrible at writing proper reviews and hardly ever doing it, I'm gonna do my best to give a semi-coherent review of why you should listen to this funky little Australian podcast.
So! I see a lot of people comparing Mistholme to Magnus Archives. ..and while that definitely works, I also want to both compare it to Welcome to Night Vale and Wolf 359 for its at times very cavalier attitude towards the unexplained and its exploration on personhood and humanity.
Seriously, though. What I LOVE about this podcast, asides from the philosophical and discoursey tidbits that make the nerd in me go absolutely bonkers, is the way that while it is very much horror and mystery, it's just not that.
Like...it's a museum about supernatural occurrences and terrors, and while a lot of stories do end in creepy, bone-chilling ways, there's also stories that end ambiguously or happily. It's just people living in a world that happens to have alternatural items in it, and while many of the times things go horribly wrong, a lot of times things also can go right...or leave something good to think about. It's just...the best part about this podcast for me is how it's almost slice of life, but a slice of life that happens in a world of magic through the lens of a museum (literally ;)).
Moving on, though, I also seriously love how sometimes it gives off the feel of those educational shows where the characters talk to the audience. There's definitely some great meta moments (and y'all know how much I am wild over those), some stuff I DEARLY want to say about the second person voice but won't for coherence/spoilers. It blends genres - from sci-fi to horror to fantasy, etc. - and has an amazing meta mystery plot thread that just gets better and better as the show progresses.
More than that, though, I seriously just love the focus on worldbuilding. Ironically, this podcast is a MASTER at the show don't tell rule (with reasonable and very seamlessly woven ways of telling, too), and we gradually get to know of this world similar to our own but noooot quite right as the show progresses in a very organic way. And I'm also gonna seriously express the joy I feel in the ambiguity of the year in which the show is unraveling, as well as the ambiguity of how much the common public is aware of the alternatural and so many other things like that. Enough that you're not toooo curious about it but it still adds just another amazing element of story and FUN to this world.
The characters in this podcast - STARS THE CHARACTERS IN THIS PODCAST!! ATG (what I call the Audio Tour Guide)....well, other people have said it better than me but you WILL want to die for it and treasure it and protect it. The other characters that appear? Phenomenal, complex, just...people. And the VOICE ACTING IN THIS. I am....not a good judge of VAs, I'll admit, but just the voice acting in here. The subtle emotion and RANGE they give to their characters. How I'm able to almost SEE them all just from the way they speak. And the way they all develop, both silent AND speaking characters - I don't know how but Dom somehow made me love the mute or nonspeaking characters...or...just feel certain things for them ;)).
Just....plotwise, characterwise WORLDBUILDINGWISE (I am very much a fan of excellent, incredible worlds), performancewise, the themes and discourse on humanity and nature it invites, everything - solid 1000/10. It's really and seriously ranking up there with W359 as one of my favorite podcasts so far....
Now, of course, there will be some stuff that you may personally not find to taste like I did (what with the diverse stories and so on) but I don't think they belong in this review as they're more subjective opinions those up there were all objectively true despite my gushing I don't take arguments so we don't need that. I think the show really does its best in being respectful to all mythologies, religion, sociopitical issues, etc. that may crop up, and it keeps such an...objective? more hopeful? stance on almost every person narrated about (despite in-show opinions) that's kind of...well, refreshing I suppose? to hear? (Maybe the best way to explain it is that its neutral tone allows people, evil and good, to be people without betraying its show's own ethical code.)
Anyway, yeah....I love Mistholme. I love ATG and co. I love the VA and their voice and all other voices once again I ask why are podcaster voices so nice to hear? I love LOVE the individual stories and their unique way of just...revealing the world of Mistholme. And yes, again, I really love all its themes and the Thoughts(tm) they invite or that invade your brain space.
Anyway, with that, I'm still not forgiving the creator for s4 despite being on s5, how DARE -
And secondly, if I had a nickel for everytime an Aussie creator made an urban fantasy world with some of the best worldbuilding and character arcing and plot twisting I've seen, I'd have 2 nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice...
Comparisons and jokes asides, though, you really WILL love this world on its own. And maybe scream a little in wounded agony. But that's just the fun of visiting a museum of mystery, morbidoty, and mortality right?
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I Can Show You: Eddie Munson
18+ hoes, Minors dni, explicit sexual content
Summary: Eddie is curious about your experience with girls and you decide to send him something special to help him visualize a little better.
****
“So you’ve done it a lot?” Eddie presses. He’s not going to let this topic go.
“Done what?” you tease, lowering your voice just a bit as you hold the speaker to your ear.
“Come on baby, please tell me more.” Eddie pleads, his voice desperate on the other end of the phone.
“You wanna hear about me eating pussy?”
“Please.” Eddie moans, a beautiful rasp in his voice.
“I think I still have an old audio of me eating a girl out…” you chime, nonchalantly.
“Oh my fuck.” Eddie groans deeply.
“I can show you if you want..”
“Fuck… fuck fuck fuck.” Eddie rambles, his excitement making you giggle, you love teasing him, you can only imagine how hard he is already just from the thought.
“Let me see if I can find it.” you giggle, putting him on speaker as you head to your voice memos and begin scrolling. You see one marked 24 minutes.. that’s gotta be it.
You click on it and listen for a moment, there’s some giggling and then you hear the sounds of kissing. Mmmm.. there it is.
You skip through the audio, randomly pausing only to hear the filthy moans as you pleasure the girl. One part in particular stands out as she giggles “you’ve never done this to me before.”
He’s gonna lose his mind.
*****
He’s so excited. His cock already aching, pressed hard against his boxers as he waits for your message to come through. He hears a little ‘ding’, instantly clicking on the audio. Jesus fucking Christ.
He listens carefully as he leans back on his bed. It starts mild, the sound of the two of you kissing. That alone enough to make his cock twitch. He slips his hand into his boxers, shutting his eyes as he listens to every sound. “Oh fuck.” the girl whimpers as Eddie begins to stroke his cock slowly.
He listens intently, speeding up just a bit as she begins to moan at the actions of your mouth on her. “Oh, god. Oh, god. Yes.” The sound of you slurping her pussy comes through the phone, a filthy fucking noise as you suck her clit into your mouth over and over as she whines beneath you. “Yeah… mmmm.. ohh fuck.”
Eddie’s moans begin to flow with the girl’s as he fucks himself. Imagining your face buried in her pretty pussy. He swears he can see it. Your bedroom eyes looking up at her as you slip your tongue into her.
“Goddamn.” She gasps loudly as you keep fucking her with your tongue. “Fuck her baby, make her cum for me.” Eddie whines as the pornographic moans fill his ears. He imagines his hand tangled in your hair as he presses you even deeper into her dripping cunt.
“Oh god, oh god, oh yes, oh fuck” a consistent chant as you explore every part of her.
“Jesus, oh baby.. God, that feels good, yes.” The girl sighs happily as you lick long stripes across her pussy. “Fuck yes, baby. She loves that. Keep goin’ baby.” Eddie grunts to himself as his head presses back into his pillow. A beautiful image unfolding in his mind of the two of you.
“You never told me you knew how to do that.” Followed by the two of you giggling again.
Eddie’s mind tries to fill in the gaps. How dirty were you? What had you done to her? His dirty girl, fuck.
He hears a familiar sound as you moan into her pussy making him speed up his hand even more. He loved knowing how much you liked eating pussy. Maybe he could watch one day. Fuck, fuck, fuck. His hand works faster, jerking his cock at an insane speed, fucking into his hand as he imagines the scenario in front of him.
“Fuck, I love you. Oh baby.” the girl breathes out. Eddie smirks at this, something about it making you seem like a little devil. Making her fall in love just from your tongue.
He hears the girl speaking again, “God, let me do you. Please let me do you.” Fucking hell. He wants to watch. Wants to see you eat her pussy, wants to see her eat yours.
“I almost bought us a double sided dildo for when you came here.” The girl whispers, his naughty vixen only moaning in response. Little fuckin freaks.
“Do you love me as much as I love you?” the girl asks and Eddie hears you respond. A casual ‘mhm’. What a little liar. Out here acting like a fuck boy gettin’ pussy. Fuck, she’s turning me on.
“Oh god, don’t stop.” The girl pleads, practically gasping for air as he hears her wet pussy being lapped up.
“I want my mouth on you.” the girl whispers, once again begging for a taste of his girl. But you don’t give in, not yet. All he hears are more moans falling from her lips as you continue to eat her out. Fuckin’ munch.
“Fuck.” There’s his girl. He hears you moaning obscenely as you play with your food. He can hear everything. Every kiss planted on her clit. Every lick, every time you tug her clit back into her mouth.
His cock is slick with precum, doing everything in his power not to bust just yet. He wants to hear everything. Wants to hear her cum straight on your tongue.
And then he hears it. “Yes, yes, yes, yes!” Her moans getting louder and louder before her voice breaks into a silent cry. Eddie moans loudly, his mouth falling open as his cum covers his hand in spurts just as your tongue is covered in hers.
But you don’t stop, his cum leaks from his cock, dripping down his length as he hears her soft, breathy moans through the speaker as you clean up the mess you made of her, licking her pussy, gathering her sweet cum all over your tongue.
Eddie’s chest is rising and falling rapidly as he struggles to bring himself back to reality. The gentle kisses and giggles of you and your friend playing softly in the background as he lays still, eyes still shut.
“I think you almost killed me.” Eddie’s name pops up in your phone followed by a picture of his cock and stomach covered in his cum, making you smile. Kinky boy.
Yes this is based on true events 😏 damn, I had to listen to a 24 minute audio of me eating pussy… such a shame.
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