#but I wish they weren’t HYPOCRITES

[lisired]

wish i never

pairing: Jaehyun x (f) reader

genre/warnings: smut, angst, debatable morals, unprotected sex, brother’s worst enemy, forbidden love, mark’s dad is a cop for the sake of plot, mentions of drugs and drug-related death

summary: Your brother, Johnny, hates Jaehyun and has never told you why. Although you intend on leaving it alone, unforeseen events thrust you into a forbidden love affair with Jaehyun. In between hookups and stolen kisses, you have to bury your feelings for Jaehyun around your overprotective older brother.

word count: 27.2k (listen… i don’t know anymore okay)

a/n: this one lowkey kinda hit different for me cause i’ve had a forbidden love and it broke me. you can kinda tell by how long this is lol ya girl went all OUT. as always, feedback is appreciated!

“Absolutely not.”

“Dude, come on,” Mark whined. 

“Hell the fuck no,” Yuta barked firmly, crossing his arms. “The last time we gave you shrooms, you texted Johnny to ask him where your phone was.”

“And?”

“You texted him from your own phone,” Yuta deadpanned. 

You snickered. Your best friend and drugs were an infamously egregious combination. Mark Lee sober was already full of shit, but Mark Lee high on whatever substance he could get his hands on? Indescribably bad. You couldn’t think of a word to even explain it.

Mark gestured over to you. “But you gave her drugs.”

Yuta grimaced. “First of all, don’t say that too loud. Johnny will kill me. Second of all, she can actually handle her shit and what can I say? She's a loyal customer.”

You added, “Plus I’m not doing fucking shrooms. Yuta just deals me weed. If Johnny ever found out I was doing anything else, he would have a fit.”

Mark huffed something under his breath about how shrooms were the softest of soft drugs there were, not that it would’ve helped his case. 

Your lips curled into a grin as you joked, “Why don’t you just chug Jeno’s notorious punch and call it a night? That’s what I’m gonna do.” 

“I’ve actually got plans with a chick who’s been dying to chug my notorious punch. I’ll be back later. Save me a drink, dude,” Mark said, grinning from ear to ear at a text message on his screen. Probably from the aforementioned chick that was begging to blow him, or so he said. 

You pretended to wince, but gave him a high five in celebration. “Aye, aye, captain,” you chirped, saluting him. 

After Mark made a break for the stairs, you abandoned Yuta to make a beeline for the drink bar. There was no such thing as a party with some of your boys without drugs and alcohol. Your brother was an overprotective nuisance, but even he knew it was impossible to keep you away from your shots and the occasional marijuana.

Plus it would've been hypocritical as all hell, so he let it slide. Not that you wanted to press your luck with something harder. On some nights you were a little drunk and a little high, and it brought out the worst in you. You were certain all of Johnny's friends kept blackmail worthy videos of you doing the unspeakable and you were content with never knowing what all those fuckers had on you. The embarrassment would be enough to kill.

You clocked one girl dry-heaving in the corner on the way and it was all the discouragement required to make you reach for a can of beer instead. To your surprise, it seemed like somebody had a similar plan, their hand coincidentally dropping on the same one. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. You can have it…," you trailed, glancing up to make eye contact with nobody less than the devil incarnate.

Ricky looked surprised to see you, though you weren’t sure why. If Jeno was throwing a party, you were bound to be in attendance. “What up, baby? Long time no see.”

“Ricky, you lost the right to call me that the second I caught you with your pants to your ankles in a closet with what's-her-face.”

More importantly, you were frankly surprised to see him there. Your stupid ex was many things, none good, and his audacity? It was out of control. Part of you wanted to commend him, because it took guts to show his face around your side of town after you yanked his trousers down in front of everyone and their mother. 

And yet he took that retort in stride. “Baby, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m sorry? It was a mistake and I’ll never make it again.”

“You’re absolutely right,” you replied, bobbing your head in agreement. “You’re a sorry motherfucker and you’ll never make it again, because we’re done for good.”

But Ricky just couldn’t take the hint that you were so fucking over anything that had to do with him and crept closer, continuing darkly, “Don’t you know you’re nothing without me? Nothing!”

Having surrounded yourself with enough drunk and high people countless times, it was obvious that Ricky was under the influence, which made him extremely capricious. He looked a grand total of two seconds away from reaching out and seizing you by your arm. 

Your eyes darted across the room for anybody you knew, but it was difficult when dancing bodies obscured them from your field of view. Yuta had probably wandered to snag more drug deals, Mark was getting his dick wet, and Johnny and Taeyong were nowhere to be found. 

You were about to resign yourself to the fact that you were positively out of luck until you heard a deep baritone ask from beside you, “Do we have a problem over here?”

It took all of two seconds to recognize its owner. Jeong Jaehyun, sang the little chorus in your head. Your brother’s worst enemy. The beef seemed more than a little one-sided, but you didn’t ask questions. For whatever reason, the mere mention of Jaehyun’s name made your brother tense. 

It was clear that Ricky was sizing Jaehyun up and he snapped with potent venom, “Who the fuck are you?”

“The host’s cousin,” Jaehyun said, looking tall and foreboding, as if he was daring somebody to challenge him. “And you are?”

“The love of her life.”

You didn’t know how he could confidently lie like that, though you wouldn’t be surprised if he wholeheartedly believed it, which was downright terrifying. You learned the hard way that this boy was as self-centered as they came. 

Jaehyun took one look at you, and the glaringly obvious discomfort on your face, and replied, "Yeah, I don't think she wants to be around you. If I were you, I'd get the fuck out of here and never come back."

Ricky chuckled. "And if I don't?"

Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Fuck around and find out," was all he said. His lips were drawn into a line and his gaze was fixed to your ex's idiotic face with a lethal stare. Not to mention Jaehyun had a couple of inches on him, which made you resist a satisfied little grin.

Obviously, Ricky wanted to stay and claim you as his pretty property, but even the lack of inhibitions didn’t hinder his judgment at that moment. Like any wise person would, he made a beeline for the closest exit. It was common sense that Jeno and his associates were not to be fucked with. 

Your shoulders relaxed when Ricky was gone. If anything, he had gotten off easy. He was lucky that you had no clue where Johnny was. You were positive he would’ve knocked the sense out of him, if he had any, which was debatable. 

“Insufferable prick,” you grumbled under your breath. Then, you glanced up to Jaehyun, who, to your surprise, was already looking at you. “Thanks, Jaehyun. I don’t know what he would’ve done if you weren’t here.”

Jaehyun still looked a little pissed, but your words seemed to make him soften. “You don’t have to thank me for that. It’s basic human decency.”

“And some people don’t even have that,” you replied, intending for it to be a joke, but it came out a little more melancholy. 

If Jaehyun noticed, he said nothing about it.

Before he could even if he wanted to, something stitched your brows together and you mentioned, “Hey, I didn’t know Jeno was your cousin.”

“Me, neither.”

It took a second for that to settle in, but once you finally understood, amusement broke the confusion tensing your face and your lips parted in laughter. Jaehyun joined you. His bold-faced little white lie saved your ass, but ironically, that wasn’t what you were focused on. 

It was those deep, adorable dimples on both of his cheeks that somehow made him even more handsome. 

Instantly, something in you chided, Bitch, don’t check him out. He’s your brother’s worst enemy. You’re out of your goddamn mind if you think you’re getting laid tonight just because he’s playing nice.

“I should go,” you said after a minute, finally grabbing a beer. “Thanks again. I really appreciate it.”

You escaped before Jaehyun could tell you not to thank him. His eyes were fixed to your back, following you until you were obscured completely by partygoers. He knew you were Johnny’s sister, but damn, you were kinda cute. 

At least for now, Jaehyun wouldn’t play with fire. Johnny almost kicked his ass one time and he wasn’t exactly keen on getting his ass handed to him. 

You were half tempted to stop by Jeno’s room to check if any of the guys were passing a blunt around in there, but the last time your curiosity got the better of you, you accidentally walked in on Jeno shirtless with some half-naked girl. Not a sight you wanted to relive, so you kept downstairs. 

Your eyes scanned the living room for any familiar faces, but it was difficult to tell if anybody was there. There was a gigantic crowd dancing to Kiss Me Thru The Phone and you chuckled at a certain memory of Mark drunk-singing along to the lyrics. 

“There you are,” came a familiar voice beside you. Your gaze flitted to Johnny, whose face was stitched with concern. “Taeyong told me that he saw you with Jaehyun. You good?”

“I’m fine,” you hollered over the music. “Just heartbroken that Mark abandoned me to get laid.”

Any other time, Johnny would’ve laughed, but his lips were pressed into a solid line. “Have you had anything?”

You rolled your eyes and exhaled a breath. “Just the beer in my hand, Johnny.”

He studied your face, as if he was attempting to figure out whether or not you were telling the truth, but ultimately decided to believe you. “Listen, I just wanna look out for you. You’re my little sister. If anything were to happen to you...”

“Mom and Dad would kill you and dump your body in the woods for bears to find. Yes, I know,” you groaned exasperatedly, cutting him off. “I get it, Johnny. But I need you to get that I’m not a little girl anymore.”

“If you were a little girl, you wouldn’t be here and we wouldn’t give you weed.”

That comment wasn’t even worth a roll of your eyes. You took a sip of beer and ignored it. 

“Why were you around Jaehyun anyways?” Johnny asked. It was obviously the question he was itching to ask. Probably wanted to make sure Jaehyun wasn’t making any advances. 

The memory of your bastard ex getting uncomfortably close to you after reaching for a drink he clearly didn’t need, raising his voice at you in a way no woman should ever accept, made you shudder. “Ricky decided to try and win me back. If you can even call it that.”

Johnny immediately perked up in anger. “What?”

“Relax. Jaehyun already took care of him. That’s why he was there. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“I swear to god, I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch,” Johnny hissed, looking a total of five seconds away from giving someone a piece of his mind. 

“Ricky, or Jaehyun?”

“Does it matter?”

You shrugged. Your lips parted to ask why he hated Jaehyun in the first place, but you cut yourself off. There was a reason why you didn’t ask him months ago. Johnny might’ve been overprotective, but that was because he was your brother and he loved you. When he was ready, he would tell you. 

The night dragged on. This one was a little more boring than usual, but that could’ve been chalked up to you still being shaken up about your encounter with your ex. You almost considered what would’ve happened had Jaehyun not been around to intervene, but your mind dared not wander there. 

Part of you wanted to know where he was camping out at. Surely, he had to be around here somewhere, but you weren’t going to look. Especially not with Johnny on high alert. He was being extra careful, wanting to be there in case your ex was crazy enough to return.

You listed what you knew about Jeong Jaehyun. For one, he was fine as hell. That was undeniable. Secondly, he was lowkey, which was why you essentially knew nothing about him other than the fact that he was drop-dead gorgeous. 

Sure, he made an appearance at these parties every now and then, but most of the time he kept to a tight-knit circle of friends and if they weren’t there, there was no way in hell he was coming. Sometimes his roommates’ threw parties at their house, but he rarely went downstairs, preferring to linger in his room doing fuck knows what. 

You honestly couldn’t blame him. People sucked. Most of them, anyways. 

Only one day later, you were gripping an overlook, peering down at little critters splashing in the lake from the bridge above. For a long time, there was nobody there to join you other than your little nonhuman friends. You liked coming here every now and then to clear your head. It was your safe place, your happy place. 

The sky was cloudy but there was only a nine percent chance of rain this afternoon, thus you weren’t too worried. You needed to go somewhere. Home was too isolating, but everywhere else was too open. 

You could be happy here. There were no entitled assholes or overprotective brothers around to get on your nerves every five seconds. It was only you and the gifts of nature. 

And somebody else. 

“I thought that was you,” said somebody from your side. 

Imagine your shock when you turned and saw Jeong Jaehyun jogging towards you. In the fucking flesh. 

It was harder not to check him out this time. The man was practically drenched head to toe in sweat, his very exposed skin glistening with moisture. The shirt he was wearing hugged his chest and it was all you could do not to salivate. 

Rather than continue to rake your eyes up his frame, you asked playfully, “Are you stalking me, Jeong Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun’s eyes twinkled with mirth. God, how come you never noticed how pretty and brown they were? “Actually, I’m surprised. I was cutting through here instead of my usual jog route. The weather looked pretty bad.”

You snickered, crossing your arms. “You didn’t check the forecast before you left the house? It’s not gonna rain. Probably.”

Jaehyun furrowed a brow. “Probably?”

“That guy on the news is an infamous liar,” you grumbled under your breath. 

Jaehyun chuckled. He wiped the sweat from his forehead, coming closer to the railing where you were, but kept a safe distance between your bodies lest he made you uncomfortable. “I told you why I’m here. What about you?”

Your nose got an instant waft of Jaehyun’s scent and it was godly, which was shocking considering he was literally sweating everywhere. “Oh, you know. I come here from time to time to think, or to not think. Depending on what the situation calls for.”

“Really?”

You bobbed your head. “Yeah. Why?”

Jaehyun shook his head. “Nothing,” was what he said, but in reality, he was thinking about how he passed this bridge nearly every goddamn day and never knew if he took a detour, he’d potentially cross paths with a pretty little thing like you. 

You lifted a brow, but didn’t press. 

“Are you… okay?” Jaehyun reluctantly asked. 

You bobbed your head. “Yup, I’m alright. It’s just that Ricky approaching me has Johnny on edge, so now whenever I go out he and his friends are watching me like a bunch of hawks.” 

Jaehyun winced. “Damn. That must suck.”

“I get he’s doing it from a place of love, but fuck, sometimes I just wanna be left the hell alone, you know?”

Jaehyun nodded. God, did he know. And not only because he was an overwhelmingly introverted dude. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”

That caught your attention. “You do?”

Jaehyun scratched the back of his head. “I mean, I don’t have an overprotective brother, but I do have an overprotective mother. It’s sweet and all, but do you know what it makes you look like when you’re on a date with a girl and your mom won’t stop calling you?”

Your lips couldn’t help but curl into a grin. “Aw, you’re a Momma’s boy.”

“This is exactly what I mean,” Jaehyun groaned. 

“No, it’s… cute,” you said, but it was impossible to control the giggles falling from your lips. “Most of the guys I know like that are sweethearts. Johnny, Mark. Maybe you.”

Jaehyun found that amusing. “You think I’m a sweetheart?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Maybe. I don’t know you well enough to decide, but seemingly, sure.”

“Do you want to?”

“Do I want to what?”

“Know me better,” Jaehyun said, tentative. Almost as if he wasn’t sure what he wanted.

That was the million dollar question. On the one hand, Jaehyun was cute and it most likely wouldn’t hurt to spend a little time together, but on the other, there was the Johnny thing. You groaned. “God, Johnny would have a heart attack if he knew I was with you right now. Maybe even an aneurysm.”

Jaehyun snickered with mischief. “Who said that he has to know?”

That response downright shocked you. You weren’t expecting it from somebody like him, though then again, you knew virtually nothing about this boy and it only made you want to sate your curiosity. “Ooh. You’re trouble, Jeong Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun took that in stride. “I’m guessing you like that.”

Taking a step closer, you started to close the gap between you that Jaehyun had created for your sake. “Hm, you know what they say.”

“I don’t think I do.” 

“It’s always the quiet ones that deal the most damage,” you whispered sultrily, glancing into his gentle brown eyes. 

Jaehyun’s eyes flickered. That caught him off-guard.

Then, you backed away and waved him goodbye. “I’ve gotta go. Later, Dimples.”

Dimples? That was new. Jaehyun was pleasantly surprised by the nickname and he was so stunned that it distracted him from his train of thoughts. 

It was only when you were long gone that he realized that you never answered his question. 

You needed time to think, to decide if Jaehyun was worth potentially losing your brother’s trust. You didn’t know why he hated him, but his less than enthusiastic reactions to him said more than enough. Jaehyun was cute, but you could easily find another cute guy whose bones your brother didn’t mention crushing.

But damn, you were curious. And curiosity killed the cat. You knew one thing, though. You were starting to like Jeong Jaehyun. 

You shook your head, ashamed of yourself. This is really what’s it’s come to, huh?

Jaehyun thought about that exchange on the bridge every now and then for the next couple of days and chastised himself for even making moves on you of all people. She’s his baby sister, you asshole. She’s off-limits. 

Not that it would really stop him, if you let him have you. 

It wasn’t like Johnny had to know. Jaehyun could keep a secret and he assumed that you had a handful of your own. People with strict upbringings tended to have a lot of practice with being sneaky and your situation was close enough. 

He sat on his bed and heaved a breath, playing with a lighter. 

Meanwhile, you were with your boys, listening to them chatter about disgusting boy things but lowkey too curious to abandon your spot on the sofa that was too comfortable for its own good. Nobody liked sleeping on sofas, but you swore you wouldn’t mind on this one. Plus sometimes you’d gotten drunk here enough where you almost dozed off. 

You made a gagging noise when Mark started to talk about his nth blowjob of the week. You weren’t counting, but he definitely was. 

“Your dick probably has so much chlamydia that it’ll mutate into a different variant like Covid,” Haechan teased. 

You grimaced, but you definitely agreed. 

“You’re one to talk,” Mark snapped. 

Haechan nodded, grinning proudly. “Of course, I am. I always wear condoms and get tested regularly. I’m clean as a whistle.”

You shook your head in amusement. “I’ve never understood the saying ‘clean as a whistle.’ Like aren’t whistles actually contaminated from being in someone’s mouth? Now, when you combine that logic with your dick…”

Jeno burst into laughter. Yuta obviously found it funny from the smile on his face and Mark would never miss a chance to laugh at his friend’s expense. 

Haechan dramatically rolled his eyes. “And what about you, little miss? How often do you get laid?”

“Definitely not as often as you guys,” you replied, coming to a stand. Not that you wanted to kiss the sofa goodbye. “I’ll be right back. I’ve gotta tinkle.”

Mark’s nose wrinkled. “You didn’t think that was too much information?”

You almost threw the remote at your best friend, but spared him. There was no way this dude was talking about too much information when he was literally giving you all a play-by-play of his sex life. 

“If it burns when you pee, Mark gave you the airborne strand of chlamydia,” Yuta joked dryly. 

You left too quickly to see Mark attempt to murder Yuta and it was a shame that you had to miss it. There was no doubt that Haechan would exaggerate the moment to make you regret not being there, but right now, you were concentrated on finding the bathroom. 

And of course, it was when you finally made it upstairs through the groups of bodies that you realized you didn’t know where it was. 

You groaned, cursing yourself for being so forgetful. You’d only been here a couple of times and never long enough to use the fucking bathroom, apparently. And you really couldn’t fucking hold it. 

You glanced around the set of doors upstairs, incapable of keeping still. Thank god nobody was here except for you. If I was a bathroom, which door would I be behind?

You set eyes on a random door and said, “Fuck it.” You marched right up to it and knocked none too gently, seeping with impatience. 

To your surprise, it was Jaehyun that opened the door, a pair of headphones slung around his neck. And behind him was a bed, not a toilet. 

Jaehyun’s eyes flickered with shock and he said your name. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, um, I was kinda looking for the bathroom. I’m guessing this isn’t it,” you said with a little humor, which was remarkable, all things considered. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here, baby.”

“Oh.” You knew that, so the fact that it slipped your mind meant that you definitely weren’t yourself when you had to pee. 

Jaehyun had the audacity to laugh. He opened his door a little wider. “You can use mine. It’s that door over there.”

“Thank you,” you said in relief, immediately darting for the bathroom. 

You were even more relieved by the time you washed your hands and walked back into his bedroom, no longer fighting to keep still. Jaehyun was sitting on his bed where his headphones were now cast aside. God, how loud did you have to be knocking for him to hear you over those?

“You sure were in a hurry,” Jaehyun teased. 

You rolled your eyes, but a little laugh fell from your lips. You wholeheartedly blamed Jeno and his damn poisonous drinks. Sighing in relief, you glanced around Jaehyun’s room. For a boy, he was exceptionally tidy. He had vinyls organized on a shelf. “No girls in here, I see.”

Jaehyun didn’t know whether to be offended by that or not. “What do you think I am, a pimp?”

You snickered. “Nah. I’m just traumatized. Sue me.”

Jaehyun knew better than to ask questions that he didn’t want to know the answers to, so he left it alone. “You never answered my question the other day.”

“What question?” you asked. Obviously, you were playing dumb. You needed every second to think about what your response would be, although you’d had the past forty-eight hours and then some to contemplate. 

Your damn brother was the only thing that stood between you and Jaehyun. 

Johnny wasn’t around this time for obvious reasons. There was no way in hell that he’d step foot in the house of his mortal enemy. He didn’t want you to be there either, but you assured him that you’d steer clear of all things Jeong Jaehyun. 

And it wasn’t as if you had deliberately lied. It (kind of) wasn’t your fault that you didn’t know where the bathroom was. 

“If you wanted to get to know me better.”

You stepped over to his bed, sitting beside him and sighing. “Jaehyun, you know my brother won’t approve.”

“I guess that’s a ‘no’ then,” Jaehyun muttered. 

Your eyes glanced at his handsome face, then his beautiful, twinkling brown eyes, and finally his soft pink lips. And when they flitted so low, there was no looking back. You leaned in and pressed your lips to Jaehyun’s, waiting for him to kiss back, and when he did without hesitation your heart soared. 

His hands flew to your back, eyes fluttering closed. God, he tasted as good as he smelled, and it was more than a little arousing. You made him fall against his mattress, straddling his hips and kissing him even deeper.

The change was welcome. His heart was racing just from locking lips with you and it took him to the sky. He grabbed a hold of your hips, which fit snugly in his palms, and listened to the soft sighs that slipped from your mouth in between the kisses. 

Mark was probably downstairs wondering, Damn, bitch, how long does it take to piss?

You pulled back when a certain groan of his turned you on a little too much to be safe. Jaehyun was secretly disappointed, but he didn’t complain, taking time to catch his breath. “Is that a maybe?”

You giggled and shook your head. “It’s a yes.”

Jaehyun sat up and grinned. He knew what he was getting himself into, but he didn’t care. There was something about you that made him defy gravity. 

Still straddling his hips, you threaded your fingers through his hair and leaned in to whisper into his ears, “We’re playing with fire.”

“Ironically, I thought the same thing,” Jaehyun deadpanned. 

You chuckled. Well, if you didn’t care, and he didn’t care, nothing more needed to be said. You were really doing this. 

Jaehyun realized that he already really liked holding you. You were warm and soft to the touch, and you fit perfectly in his arms. “Have you been drinking?”

“Nope.”

“Did you do any drugs?”

“Not even a little,” you said, raising a brow at the question. Much to your chagrin, it reminded you of your brother’s incessant worry. “Why?”

Jaehyun said without hesitation, “Because I’ve got weed.”

That was exciting. No wonder Jaehyun never came downstairs during his roommates’ parties. The real party was in his bedroom. “Geez, Dimples. What are you waiting for?”

Jaehyun laughed at your enthusiasm and grabbed his lighter off his nightstand. You were flattered when he let you roll and even more when he praised your technique, which took years to develop. Thank god for your experienced friends. 

The high had you hyper aware of everything. Jaehyun’s whole room smelled like him, to no surprise. As he said, he lived there, fuck’s sake. But it was pleasant and you were honestly forgetting that you even promised to return downstairs.

The guilt and pressure of keeping secrets from Johnny was heavy on your back a few moments ago, but after the marijuana settled in, you relaxed into Jaehyun’s side. He didn’t seem to mind. Maybe it was the tree getting to his brain, but his hands got a little bolder, too. 

And it also only enhanced your curiosity. “Do you do this often, Jaehyun?”

“You mean invite girls into my room to talk and smoke?”

“Yeah.”

Jaehyun took a drag and exhaled into the thick air of his room. “Eh, not really. I’ve had girls in my room before, obviously, but it never really lasts.”

You weren’t surprised. Any girl could see that Jaehyun was handsome as all fucking hell and you didn’t expect him to be a total sexless loser. Matter of fact, if he told you that he was a virgin, you doubted that you’d even believe it. 

“Maybe you haven’t met the right girl then,” you suggested coyly. 

Jaehyun chuckled. “Maybe.”

It was way too soon to ask if he thought you were the right girl, so instead you settled for asking where his interests lay. “What exactly are you looking for?”

Jaehyun knew the answer to that question in perfect detail because he’d thought about it countless times, being his typical hopeless romantic self. This was a boy that dreamed of finding his miss right before he went to bed. He was a simple guy. He wanted picket fences and kids. Perhaps a puppy. 

But maybe it wasn’t all too simple. Jaehyun wasn’t searching for a housewife. He wanted someone to go to random old shops with and look at vintage items together. He wanted someone that didn’t draw a lot of attention, but liked to go outside and explore. Money be damned. Thanks to his mother, he had ample cash, but no one to spend it on. 

Jaehyun hummed, pretending to think about his answer. “Guess.”

You threw him a look. “Are you serious?”

Jaehyun bobbed his head eagerly, lips curling into a mischievous little grin. “I’ll tell you, but I want you to guess first.” 

You sighed and glanced around his bedroom for clues, and fortunately enough, there were plenty. “Vinyls from the nineties. You’re an old soul and you want someone who fits your vibe. You smell like expensive cologne, so maybe you want someone to wine and dine, but you definitely want to be comfortable.”

Jaehyun said nothing, but you could tell that he was listening. 

You looked at the pictures of him and an older woman framed on his nightstand and continued, “You want the type of girl you can take home to your mother. And your mother wants the absolute best for her son, so she raised you to have high standards.”

“You’re good at this,” Jaehyun muttered. 

“I’m nowhere close to being finished,” you said, grinning from ear to ear. “Judging from the souvenirs on your shelf, you like going to different places, so you want someone curious and adventurous in nature. Appreciative and respectful of different peoples' cultures.”

Jaehyun was only smiling at this point. It was kind of funny and spooky being read like this. 

“You’ve searched for love and haven’t found something that feels right, so now you keep girls around for a good time, not a long one. And you love a damsel in distress, I think,” you said, concluding your investigation. 

“Wow,” was all Jaehyun said. 

Though you already knew the answer, you pressed your lips into a smile and asked, “Am I warm?”

“You’re on fire,” he replied, wondering how in the hell you got all that just from looking at his bedroom. “But how did you know?”

“That you love a damsel in distress?”

“That I’ve looked for love and gave up on it.”

You almost rolled your eyes. You couldn’t believe he was seriously asking that question. “No offense, but you scream hopeless romantic. Plus you’re hot. You know your worth and what you want and I doubt it’s meaningless sex.”

Jaehyun had this melancholy look on his face for the briefest of seconds, but it disappeared so quickly you could’ve imagined it being there. 

“I don’t think you gave up, I think you took a little pause. You know she’s out there, and when the time’s right, you’ll know.” Then, you abandoned the sadness and quipped, “But you’re also a guy, and guys want sex.”

Jaehyun chuckled, but you had somehow penetrated his mind. You had part of him figured out and he didn’t know what to do with that. It was too soon to get too deep. 

You exhaled contentedly, but the marijuana had you thinking. You could’ve been wrong about Jaehyun. You had definitely been wrong before. 

There was this tension in the room now that neither of you were equipped to handle. As standard when he was fooling around with a girl, there was a piece of him that wondered if it could be the real thing this time, but he didn’t want to get ahead of himself. 

It wouldn’t have been the first time. 

Jaehyun gave you back the blunt. “What about you - what are you looking for?”

“Who said I was looking?” you asked with obvious amusement. 

That shattered Jaehyun’s former thoughts of possibly wifing you up one day. Of course you didn’t intend on dating the dude your brother hated. It would’ve been a very unconventional relationship. You could keep him around for fun, but it would have to end sooner or later. 

So Jaehyun contentedly resigned himself to the fact that you would pass, just like all the other girls he brought up to his room, and decided he was fine with that. Maybe he had high standards, but you’d forgotten to mention the part that they came with moderate hopes and low expectations.

That way getting hurt was borderline impossible. 

Then, Jaehyun started to grin like an idiot and reminded, “You said that you think I’m hot.”

“I literally said that ten hundred hours ago,” you groaned, exhaling a puff of smoke into the air. 

You cried out in shock when he grabbed your hips and pulled you back onto him again, but instinctively leaned into his shoulder. Jaehyun was (usually) humble, but anyone who thought he didn’t know he was hot was a fool. “Am I hot enough to kiss?”

Your lips tugged into a smile, and rather than directly answer his question, you went in for a kiss, holding the blunt away from his face so that he wouldn’t get burned. Jaehyun effortlessly matched your rhythm and it was dumbfounding how he could be so excellent of a kisser. 

You spent the better half of the night passing a blunt back and forth with Jaehyun, kissing and talking in between (featuring some inappropriate touches). Jaehyun was so fucking easy to talk to, the topics were boundless. Neither of you opened up much outside of your relationship goals and lack thereof, but you still got to know each other a little better. 

Jaehyun loved music from r&b to jazz to soul, though you could’ve guessed how passionate he was after one look at his vinyl collection. He was flirty sometimes, but soft-spoken and very gentleman-like and he never once proposed for the two of you to have sex. Plus he was a bit of a goofball. 

To say nothing of the fact that he could play the guitar. You didn’t know why, but that somehow made him even more delightful. 

It was pleasant to be in the presence of a guy that was simultaneously attractive and respectful.

Because it was far too late for you to drive yourself home when you finally started to get sleepy, he let you steal his bed and slept in the room of one of his roommate’s that was never home, according to Jaehyun. 

Jungkook was what he said his name was. Apparently he basically lived full-time in his girlfriend’s apartment and Jaehyun didn’t know why he still paid rent, but he didn’t complain. It was going to be a sad day for his bank account when Jungkook finally moved out. 

And that left Yugyeom. He was the one that threw all of the parties. You asked Jaehyun last night why he rarely came downstairs during those parties and his response was, “I don’t like the attention.”

Morning had come loudly as ever. Birds chirped outside, singing sweetly. You stretched your arms above your head and yawned, unable to ignore the dark curtains that effectively kept the sunlight out. 

The first thing you did was let a little light in. And the second thing was remember how you spent last night, memories of marijuana and laughter, and flirtatious behavior hitting you all at once. It seemed that Jeong Jaehyun was a promise of fun. 

Grabbing your phone, you headed down the stairs and breathed a little in relief when you saw Jaehyun already awake, waiting by the toaster. “Good morning, Dimples.”

Jaehyun turned when he heard your voice and the smile that spread across his lips was instantaneous. “Good morning, beautiful. How did you sleep?”

“I should’ve known that your bed would be as cool and collected as you are,” you quipped, rubbing your arms. It was colder without Jaehyun’s blankets to help strengthen the temperature. 

Jaehyun shook with mirth and it was a sight you wanted to see more often. 

“I could’ve slept on the sofa,” you said without complaint. “The party was over by the time we called it a night and it’s the most comfortable sofa I’ve ever put my butt on.”

“It goes against everything I believe in to let you sleep on a couch when there’s a perfectly functional bed upstairs.”

“Aw, what a gentleman,” you replied, coming to stand at his side. “I drew the curtains in your room open, by the way. I don’t know how you live like a damn vampire.”

“What’s wrong with living like a vampire? Vampires are cool.”

“I don’t think Vampires need Vitamin D. Humans do,” you retorted, arms crossed. 

Jaehyun’s lips curved into a stupid little smile that reeked of mischief and you instantly knew where his thoughts were before he even said anything. 

You rolled your eyes at his silliness and told him, “Whatever you’re about to say - don’t.”

Bagels popped out of the toaster and the sight of food made Jaehyun forget about his previous shenanigans. He set both bagels on individual plates that already had food and said, “I made you something. It’s not much because I’ve gotta go soon, but I didn’t want you to be hungry.”

“Thank you,” you said with gratitude, accepting the plate he handed to you. Plate in hand, you went to sit at the table, watching Jaehyun bring cups over. 

“You’re welcome,” Jaehyun told you gently. “Next time I’ll make you a real full-course meal as a treat.”

You gawked. “You can cook?”

“A little bit, yeah. Why?”

“You just got so much hotter,” you breathed.

Jaehyun grinned. 

The time you spent together that morning was a duplicate of the night before except there were only the lingering overnight highs instead of the fresh ones. You were sad that you had to leave, but Jaehyun had to work and you needed to go home. 

Sitting in your car, you checked your phone for the first time in hours. There had to be a thousand missed calls and unanswered messages from your friends and Johnny. Though it wasn’t unusual for your phone to be on Do Not Disturb, it was definitely strange to not at least tell your loved ones that you were very much still alive. 

You were just so hooked on Jaehyun that it completely slipped your mind to check your phone. There wasn’t a dull moment upstairs in his bedroom and even when it was silent you were comforted by the sound of a vinyl playing quietly on his record player, which you were stunned that he even had. 

You texted your friends to let them know that you were on the way home and called Johnny to get his usual tantrum out of the way before you got there, but it was safe to say that you weren’t expecting to come back to Johnny and Mark waiting for you in the kitchen like two unhappy parents. 

You reached into the cabinet to grab a glass and deadpanned, “Uh oh. Am I in trouble?”

Mark snickered and he looked like mischief. “Very much so.”

Your gaze flitted towards Johnny, who was clearly the more disgruntled of the two, and asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You look like you had a long night.”

“That’s probably because I did.”

“Did you hook up with anyone?”

You grimaced. “Gross, Johnny. Do I ask you who and what you do with your dick?”

Johnny gave you a look that told you he was serious. 

“No, I didn’t hook up,” you replied, filling your glass with water and hoping to find a way out of this situation so that you could shower and brush your teeth. 

Johnny’s lips were tugged into a frown. This older brother responsibility was far from easy when his little sister made it even harder to check up on her. “I worry about you. Is that a crime?” 

You exhaled a long breath. “You’re right. I should have at least let you know that I was okay and I didn’t, and I’m sorry. I just got… distracted.”

That got Mark’s attention and he butted in dramatically, “Where did you go last night? I was this close to filing a police report, but it hadn’t been twenty-four hours.”

Typical cop father response. That was half the reason why nobody wanted to deal him drugs. Thank goodness he had you to vouch for him. “And what would you do if I was off with a serial killer instead of some hot guy?”

“I wouldn’t be too worried. You’re annoying. They would return you on the front doorstep with a note that said ‘come get your bitch back.’”

You were tempted to roll your eyes, but you noticed Johnny laugh a little and it honestly made you feel somewhat better. He had been painfully uptight lately and you just wanted him to chill for once. 

“I’m gonna go take a shower and brush my teeth,” you announced, discarding your glass in the sink and heading for the stairs. 

Of course, Mark had more insults on deck and didn’t hesitate to ask, “You’re gonna need more than that for all the cum you had to have gargled last night.”

“For the last time, I did not hook up,” you huffed in exasperation, marching up the stairs. “And get the hell out of my house - you don’t even live here!”

You could hear Mark laughing from the overlook. 

A lot of time was spent counting down the hours until you could see Jeong Jaehyun again. You learned that he was not the type of guy to sit around waiting by his phone. This was a busy man with business to take care of and he didn’t have a lot of spare time. 

You didn’t mind, because he spent it talking to you, which was definitely an indicator that he was starting to really like you. With so few hours in a week, let alone a day, it was hard to believe he let just anyone consume the little downtime that remained. 

Jaehyun let you crash some nights at his place when your brother was being a massive thorn in your side. It wasn’t a crime, but it was easy to get away with, all things considered. Yugyeom never bothered either of you and Jungkook was rarely there, so you spent most of the time talking incessantly and getting high. 

Maybe some kisses were shared in between, but nothing more. Jaehyun was content with just getting to know you for now. His usual invitees consisted of one-night stands and girls he hung out with for a couple of weeks, but you were different. You made him think, high or not, and it was rare a girl penetrated his mind so deeply.

And so quickly. It had only been a month, maybe a little longer. He was still afraid of being completely open with you, but the way the two of you touched each other was starting to get riskier and riskier. 

Kisses lasted longer. More than once, he caught himself going after your clothes, but he didn’t want to seem like an animal. You did seem a little eager too, kissing the breath out of him and getting more and more flirtatious, but Jaehyun hated having to guess. 

He wanted you to tell him what you wanted in no uncertain terms. No room for uncertainty. 

Yugyeom knocked on Jaehyun’s bedroom door, which was already cracked ajar, and asked, “Hey, is she coming over tonight?”

“Yes, so please be on your best behavior. No bullshit,” Jaehyun replied, getting a whiff of the trouble that was Yugyeom and wrinkling his nose. 

“Have you guys… you know?”

“That’s a personal question.”

“So you haven’t.” Yugyeom pressed, “Man, when are you gonna tell her you’ve got the hots for her? You know what, I’ll clear the house and leave a bottle of wine out. Light one of your expensive candles. Girls like that shit.”

Like hell Jaehyun needed advice on how to set the mood, from Yugyeom much less. Plus he was none too pleased at being interrupted, especially because now he was thinking about having sex with you and it was doing things to him down there. “I think I know what girls like.”

“Then what’s the problem? And don’t tell me that you haven’t thought about it. We’re both dudes, man. That’s bullshit.”

“There isn’t one,” Jaehyun replied to his roommate honestly. Of course, he had thought about having sex with you. He might’ve been respectful, but like Yugyeom said, he was still a dude. Hell, the words had come out of your own mouth. 

Yugyeom prodded, “Then?”

“I just don’t wanna rush into it.”

Now that Yugyeom could buy. Jaehyun was sentimental like that. When he really liked a girl, evaluating her worth took priority over getting laid. Jaehyun had this wall of ice put up that even Yugyeom had to steadily break through. Ironically, sometimes it felt like he was still on the outside. 

But he put two and two together. If Jaehyun liked you - as in really, really liked you - then that made shit even more complicated. It was no secret that Johnny had it out for Jaehyun and he obviously came to the same conclusion that Jaehyun had; shit getting serious with you was dangerous. 

So Yugyeom left it alone. 

Like clockwork, you were pulling into Jaehyun’s driveway only a few hours later. You discerned that the lot was empty save for your car and Jaehyun’s which more than likely implied that the two of you would be completely alone in the house together. 

Slipping the spare key from under the mat, you unlocked the door and sang after locking it behind yourself, “Darling, I’m home!”

“I’m upstairs,” Jaehyun called out from the second floor, his room door obviously open for once. The benefits of having the house to himself. 

You didn’t hesitate to make your way upstairs, not failing to clock the bottle of expensive wine on the counter when you passed by the kitchen, but you thought little of it when you came through the hallway and slipped into Jaehyun’s comfortable bedroom. “Hey, Dimples,” you greeted. 

Jaehyun smiled at you and waved. His room was dimly lit. The overhead lights were turned off, but the candles on his nightstand were ablaze and there was an old school classic going on in the background. 

The second you came in, Jaehyun set his book aside, giving you his undivided attention. “Come here.”

You wasted no time doing as told, advancing towards the bed and giggling when he snatched you into his open arms for a handful of kisses. Your whole body was soothed from his slightest of touches, at ease in his arms. Jaehyun had quickly become your second safe place. 

God, you had been waiting for this moment all week. Johnny wasn’t on your ass any more than usual, but it got lonely in that house and it was even worse when you found yourself only craving Jaehyun’s company. There was something happening to you and you couldn’t tell if you liked it or not. 

Jaehyun drew back after a minute, taking a moment to breathe and brush a loose strand of hair behind your ears. “Things okay at home?”

“New topic,” you groaned. 

Jaehyun winced. That couldn’t have been too good. 

“You smell good,” you purred, breathing in his scent. 

“You always say that.”

“Because you always smell good.” 

“I just got out of the shower.”

“Without me?”

“You sound like a guy,” Jaehyun said in disapproval. 

You snickered. You had definitely gotten that comment from a boy before.

Jaehyun’s eyes were fixed to your face, taking in how beautiful you were. Damn, it was like every time he saw you, you looked even more breathtaking. 

You couldn’t help but stare back. Jaehyun’s visuals were out of this damn universe and it was borderline maddening he could be this fucking fine. But deeper than that, sometimes you couldn’t help but stare into his dark eyes and wonder what all he was hiding back there. 

It was plain as day that Jaehyun wasn’t the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, especially not when his romantic feelings were involved. In the time that you’d spent together, you had gotten to learn some things about him, but there was plenty that he filtered out as a defense mechanism. 

When you wanted to get closer, Jaehyun shut down, which was totally ironic, because he was the one that asked if you wanted to get to know him. Now you had to fight for it?

Maybe he meant get to know his body and you were oblivious - and you wouldn’t have minded one bit - but if that was the case, you should’ve already had sex and been out of the picture. Yet he was keeping you twice as long as most girls lasted and for no apparent reason.

Sex made things more complicated. If you had sex with Jaehyun right now, and it was good, there was absolutely no telling how that would shift the trajectory of your entire life. But the way he was looking at you right now tempted you to risk it all. 

Your lips found Jaehyun’s again, but the kiss was different this time. It was needier, desperate. It sent heat stretching through every bone in your body and straight between your thighs, and you felt like you were levitating. Your body scorched with desire, hands running down his chest. 

Jaehyun kept up with your reckless kissing very well, but he couldn’t ignore the nature of it and it made him ask himself questions. You were kissing him like you wanted him. Tired of wondering, he pulled back and asked forthrightly, “Do you want to have sex with me?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” you countered, quickly seizing the opportunity to return your lips to his.

All of this beating around the bush was getting on his nerves and Jaehyun took matters into his own hands. Literally. You gasped when he pushed you onto your back, pinning you onto his bed, and locked your wrists above your head. “I want to hear you say it.”

Now that was sexy as hell and your thighs involuntarily pressed together. “I want to have sex with you.”

That was all Jaehyun needed to hear. He was quick to catch your lip in between his teeth and seal your lips in another heated kiss, taking in your every trembling exhale. You moaned into his mouth, a little too enamored with how good it felt beneath him. 

His hands released your wrists in favor of your waist, testing the waters. You were reactive to Jaehyun’s touches, hyper aware of his hands steadily falling lower, but not daring to touch you too intimately yet. Like he was waiting for something to happen. 

Jaehyun’s eyes sank to your empty neck and something deep in the pit of his gut was set on fire. “Are marks okay?”

Making quick work of his shirt and tossing it over his shoulders, you nodded your head. “Yeah. Johnny will notice, but he’ll never assume they’re from you.” 

It took absolutely nothing else for Jaehyun to connect his lips to your throat hungrily, leaving mark after mark on your skin in an effort to stake his claim to you. And all it did was turn you on further. There was a thudding between your legs, arousal spilling over. 

Little soft sighs and curses slipped from your lips and you could feel the bedroom get hotter and hotter. It wasn’t as if you and Jaehyun had agreed to be exclusive, but you hadn’t been with anyone else in the time that the two of you had been hanging out, meaning it had been over a month since you’d last had sex. 

And it fucking showed. You were aching for more, on top of your natural desire for Jaehyun. If you didn’t fuck his brains out right now you were going to self-destruct.

“Jaehyun, fuck me,” you groaned impatiently. 

Instead, he grinned, too fond of the neediness in your voice and on your pretty face. Jaehyun looked you plain in the eye and said, “I want you to beg.”

You were too gone to roll your eyes, but not too out of it to retort, “Make me.”

“I’m gonna make you beg, alright,” Jaehyun said without question. He made a move for your shorts and tugged them off your ankles, repeating the gesture with your panties. 

The only thing that kept you from being totally naked was your top but Jaehyun didn’t look too concerned with getting rid of it yet. Instead, he focused his undivided attention between your legs, entranced by your glistening core and his mouth going dry with the desire to have a taste. 

You watched the enthrallment on his face with satisfaction. Funny how his ability to conceal his emotions went out the window when pussy was involved. His eyes were dark as ever and Jaehyun’s voice somehow got deeper when he asked, “Will you let me taste you?” 

“Fuck,” you mumbled, sensing that he was about to wreck the living hell out of you. “Uh, yeah. Yes.”

No room for uncertainty. Now that he had your consent, Jaehyun gathered your legs in his hands, tossed them over his broad shoulders, and went to town. You gasped aloud at the first pass of his tongue at your clit and it couldn’t have been further from tentative. 

Of course this man went straight for your sensitive bundle of nerves instead of your slick folds, he knew better. Given how exciting the thought of Jaehyun dicking you down had been, you were already throbbing, but now you were tense and unstill.

There was something about the feeling of his lips sucking and licking at your cunt that made you squirm and cry out in an overwhelming bolt of pleasure. Jaehyun clamped his big hands onto your thighs to keep you pliant, holding them right where he wanted them, and kept eating you out. 

It made zero sense how hot you found every little thing that he did. 

“Jesus, fuck,” was basically all that you could say. With how vigorously Jaehyun was sucking at your bundle of nerves, it was getting borderline impossible to think. 

Jaehyun sure didn’t seem timid. Matter of fact, the way he refused to shy away from in between your pair of legs, doing everything in his power to keep them separated at both sides of his head, said loud and clear that he was a man on a mission to make you unravel. 

Not to mention that he was doing a damn good job. Your ears were hardly even working, the whole world fading to static, the only audible sound being the incessant throb of your pulse quickening by the minute. 

The sheer opposite was true for Jaehyun. His ears were on full alert and he could hear everything from the increasing volume and speed of your breaths plus your soft moans to the gentle rustling of the trees' leaves outside his open window. 

Jaehyun peered up at you, noticed the euphoria tensing your beautiful features, and his lips broke into a wide grin. “How are you doing up there?”

No words would come. It took twice as long to even process the ones that left his mouth. Your eyes were drooping and misty, damp with moisture, and all that escaped you was a befuddled, “Fuck.”

Jaehyun snickered. That was answer enough. “It sounds to me like you’re having a fun time,” he started. “Do you want to cum?”

You obviously heard that and hissed, “Don’t ask stupid questions.” 

“If you want to cum, then beg me for it,” Jaehyun growled darkly. You appreciated the brief lull of peace, but of fucking course, it was that moment Jaehyun chose to press a long pair of fingers into your dripping pussy.

Your back arched and your soft cries filled the air. It felt like somebody had given Jaehyun the blueprints to your body with how he excelled at satisfying you in ways literally nobody had previously. 

The answer was obvious. Jaehyun wanted you to beg? Fuck it. You would beg. 

“Please,” you said, your voice raising a few pitches. “Oh, god. Please make me cum, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun didn’t make a sound but you could feel his mouth on your cunt again and knew that he was about to take you there.  

And then it came. The mind-numbing orgasm engulfed you in its fury and you were scarred with burns from head to toe, most of it pivoting towards your core. 

Your hands desperately grasped locks of Jaehyun’s soft fluffy hair in an attempt to anchor yourself and you didn’t release him from your clutches until every tremble faded. Jaehyun got so aroused watching you shudder with release that he swore his own mind went blank. 

It took a good minute and a half at the least for your mind to start to clear itself and you sighed pleasantly as the wrath of your orgasm slowly began to die out. You peered down at Jaehyun, blinking a couple of times, and slackened your grip when you realized how tightly your hands were latched to him.

Jaehyun didn’t seem to mind, contentedly watching you try to gather your bearings. “Are you back to earth?”

“Barely,” you rasped, still unable to feel your thighs. 

“Do you want to stop?”

You gawked. “Are you kidding? I still wanna fuck you. If you still wanna fuck me.”

“I still want to fuck you,” Jaehyun said, pulling you in for another hot but reassuring kiss. It was hard to breathe, but so worth it. You slipped your tongue into his mouth and tasted yourself on his. 

Kissing you made Jaehyun feel like he was ascending, but right now it also made his dick ascend and his patience was steadily dissipating into thin air. You could feel his hard-on against your naked thigh and it sent shock waves to your brain. 

I think that’s the best head I’ve ever had, you admitted to yourself, but not aloud. Your dating history wasn’t top secret but you spoke little of it to Jaehyun. Did it matter that all of your exes were scumbags and rarely bothered to get you off?

Except for one. The sex was good, but it wasn’t a fair trade-off for your heart. No man nor his cock was worth your sanity and you told that to yourself every time you engaged with one. 

Plus you just got this weird feeling where nothing or nobody else mattered when you and Jaehyun were alone together. You didn’t think of the various roots of the stresses in your life and calmness was finally an option. 

You didn’t want to ruin that, so you didn’t get too deep. 

But you were hoping Jaehyun was packing enough to be deep inside of you. Fuck that, you had felt it against your thigh. You knew that he was and it was exciting. 

Your voice was weighed down by the thickness of your breaths. “Do you have condoms?”

“Always,” Jaehyun replied, pulling a drawer open on his nightstand to retrieve one.

That was a relief. You had never done it raw before and though you liked Jaehyun, you weren’t sure where his dick had been and what all it had seen. You’d rather be safe.

Jaehyun gently pushed you back onto the mattress and crawled over you, drawing the condom between his teeth while he tossed your shirt and bra halfway across his bedroom, then whispered, “Tell me how you want it.”

“Hard and deep. Deep and hard,” you confessed sultrily, looking him dead in the eye. 

Jaehyun smirked. “That can be arranged.”

You watched Jaehyun shuffle out of his pants and put the condom on, but the bulk of your attention was set on that thick, girthy cock. Your mouth was watering. Maybe some other time you could suck him off, but right now getting it between your thighs was all you wanted. 

It didn’t seem as if he glanced up, but Jaehyun said, “You’re staring.”

“Sorry.”

“No, you’re not,” Jaehyun said. 

You giggled. “No, I’m not.”

The sound faded when you spread your legs apart invitingly and he penetrated you at an excruciatingly slow pace, sinking deeper inch by fucking inch. 

You and Jaehyun made a sound in harmony when he finally filled you to the hilt, grasping your waist and using it as anchor like he was at risk of going dangerously deep if he made one wrong move and never returning to the surface. 

Good thing it was only the two of you. You, keeping quiet when he was this good with his hands and presumably even better with his thick cock? There was no way in hell. 

“Oh my god…,” you whispered, obsessed with the sensation of being filled. 

Whatever you were thinking right now, Jaehyun wholeheartedly agreed. You made his brain grind to a halt and stutter. “Does that feel okay?”

“More than okay,” you told him, because it was the truth. Somehow the pleasure was only spiking. The ecstasy continued to build. 

You looked so beautiful beneath the golden-yellow hue of his lamplight and Jaehyun knew he would be fantasizing about how your face tensed with pleasure for weeks, if not months.

Jaehyun especially liked the way you were tightening around his cock, gripping it for dear life as if letting go simply wasn’t an option. You wound your legs around his hips and helped draw him into yours in spite of knowing it could ruin you, a telltale sign that your desire for more outweighed any rational thinking. 

It just felt so good that it had to be illegal and though you knew that it wasn’t, it was damn near close. 

There was still music playing from the vinyl player in the background that soothed any and all nerves that you could’ve ever had. You took a moment and inhaled deeply, breathing in the musk of Jaehyun and the scent of the candles. 

Your eyes fluttered closed. It was ironic that you were on a raging high even though you hadn’t even gotten around to having your usual fill of marijuana. In legal terms, you were far from inebriated. But according to yourself? You were fiending for Jaehyun and found him lethally intoxicating. 

His weight on top of you. His deep, guttural grunts in your ear between his jagged breaths. His perfect thrusts and the way he stroked you exactly how you wanted, all the while reaping his pleasure from your body. 

It was fucking mind-blowing. 

Jaehyun had a similar thought and it tore a noise out of him. His intentions in inviting you over tonight weren’t to have sex, in spite of his roommate’s attempts at getting him to get laid when he was only trying to break you in, but it was an unregrettable decision. 

“You take it so good, baby,” Jaehyun said tenderly, but it barely scratched the tip of the iceberg of praises he had in storage especially for you. 

Fuck, you wanted to hate how easy it was for him to kindle these rash flames inside of you, but your attraction to Jaehyun became undeniable the second you initiated the first rendezvous. 

You were peering into Jaehyun’s soul, searching his whole face without knowing what you were looking for, and saw the euphoria fluttering his eyes closed and spreading his lips apart just enough for those heavenly sounds to slip through. 

You guessed you found it then, because the tightening in the pit of your gut was at an all-time high and it wasn’t skipping out on the extremes. 

Combing your hands through his hair, you whimpered, “I’m so close.”

Jaehyun accelerated his pace, wanting to take you to the ends of the earth and back. You noticed, because you could feel his hard dick slapping against your hips with a purpose, and you swore to god your eyes rolled somewhere black. 

The end was creeping up on you from behind. You could feel it. Jaehyun could feel it himself, the telltale twitch of his cock indicating that he was pushing his limits. 

“I want you to cum,” Jaehyun growled in no uncertain terms, his tone dominant. “Nice and hard. Can you do that for me, baby?”

“Yes,” you choked out. 

If you were being frank, he didn’t even have to ask. It was impossible to hide the evidence of your impending orgasm, the heightened tremors in your voice and the shakiness in your body were more than enough proof. 

All you could think about was how restlessly you were going after this orgasm and how terribly you needed it like it would fix every little thing going wrong in your life.

Your hands slipped from Jaehyun’s hair to his shoulders to finally his back, raking your nails down the flesh in a set of ministrations that were bound to leave red lines, and you rasped breathlessly, “Finish me.”

The hoarseness of your voice alone could’ve broken Jaehyun but he hung on for your sake, fingertips flitting to your sensitive, swollen clit again because he knew he wouldn’t last very much longer. 

You were even more restless than before and it wasn’t long until Jaehyun granted your wish, your lips parting in a scream and your vision going totally black. Your toes curled into tight bends as you grinded your hips into Jaehyun, milking your release for every damn dime.

Jaehyun could feel you clenching rapidly and repeatedly around his cock and merely seconds after that it was game over. He came with the deepest, sexiest groan you had ever heard before in your life, hips stuttering as his cum filled the condom, and all you could think about was how this could not be a one-time thing. 

The next few minutes were a blur. You only recalled Jaehyun peeling off you to dispose of the condom, the layers of sweat on your naked bodies keeping you connected, and returning to your side briefly. 

Jaehyun scanned you for any signs of obvious discomfort. “Are you okay?”

Your mouth was hanging open, aggressive pants falling from your lips, but Jaehyun’s attention was no longer focused on your heaving chest - it was on you. “No, more like incredible.”

That had Jaehyun in the first half, but he snickered in amusement and relief when you wrapped up your sentence. “Do you wanna shower with me?”

“That’s kinda intimate,” you said, as if that was actually going to stop you. “Hell yeah, I do.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, but there was a smile plain as day on his face. You cried out in surprise when he hauled you into his burly arms, hooking one of them under your knees, and carried you into his bathroom. 

Your own individual toothbrush was in there on the sink counter squarely beside Jaehyun’s. It was only right that he let you keep one there, given how many late Friday nights you spent at his house instead of your own. 

Plus some of your clothes were there, tucked into his drawers, but when you returned to his bedroom, you donned one of his shirts that was unsurprisingly oversized on you. 

You sat on Jaehyun’s bed, memories of what you’d just done on his sheets still fresh, and watched him rifling through his vinyl catalog, but because he was shirtless you quickly got distracted by the view you had of his back. 

At least until he turned around after setting the vinyl on his record player, apparently oblivious, and coming to sit at your side. 

There was mischief on your face and you were struggling to stifle a giggle. It was obvious, and Jaehyun furrowed his brows. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Oh, nothing.”

Jaehyun didn’t believe you at all, but he didn’t press. 

You sighed contentedly, leaning into his naked chest. The little voice in your brain was thinking about how he smelled so clean and fresh, and good. Well, duh, she snapped. If you somehow weren’t paying attention, he just got out of the shower. 

But you were definitely paying attention, maybe a little more than you should’ve. It wasn’t your fault he looked like the leading role of every romance book ever. This was a man out of every little girls’ childhood dreams and, more importantly, every grown woman’s wet ones. 

As Jaehyun held you in his arms, you couldn’t help but think, spotting little items in his room that screamed, I come from money. “Jaehyun, is it okay if I ask you a question?”

Jaehyun hummed. You figured he might’ve been close to dozing off, but in reality, he was just captivated by the smell of your hair and hoping it lingered on his pillows. 

“You’re pretty well-off, but you live with two other guys. You’re technically always alone, but you don’t live alone. Why?”

Now that wasn’t what Jaehyun was expecting you to ask him, but you were full of surprises. He took a moment to ponder his answer, finding himself reflecting. “It’s because of how I grew up, I guess. I was the only child, so it was just me and my parents in the house. I guess I kind of wanted to know what it's like to have brothers.”

You made a noise of content. “You’re close then.”

“Yup.” 

You could feel Jaehyun playing with your hair and it made you smile gently.

“What about you and your friends?”

“What about them?”

“What’s the relationship like? Have you fucked Mark?”

You were taken aback, though rather than be affronted, the ridiculousness of that question made you laugh. “No way. I prefer my vagina itch-free,” you quipped. 

Jaehyun chuckled. It was a shock that that kid got around town the way he did, but that was why Jaehyun had to respect the hustle. 

Then, out of nowhere, you got a little sober. “On a serious note, Mark is my bestie and he’s what I imagine having a little brother is like. Johnny really likes him too, so sometimes I’ll walk in on them hanging out without me.”

You didn’t notice the way Jaehyun’s head bobbed along, but he was listening. It was believable. Mark was a social butterfly and impossible to dislike, no matter how irritating. 

And he was only irritating to some. Those who didn’t find him to be a thorn in their side probably wanted him a number of inches deep in their guts. 

You continued, “Yuta is more Johnny’s friend than he is mine, but he’s laidback. Haechan is a little shit but he’s funny as fuck. And you know Jeno is chaotic as ever.”

You were fond of your circles of friends. Most folks assumed it must’ve been suffocating to be the only girl amongst a group of insufferable horny dudes, but it wasn’t half bad. Jeno had tried to get into your pants before, but when you turned him down he took the rejection coolly. 

Mark, like you said, was like a sibling to you and that went both ways. When somebody suggested the two of you hook up, his knee-jerk reaction was to hiss, “Ew!”

Haechan was a slut like all of them but he knew better than to slut himself out to you and Yuta, though you already couldn’t have been further from his type, was one of your older brother’s closest friends. According to Yuta himself, the thought of being in a relationship with you was hilarious. 

Never mind the fact that he admitted he’d actually do it, but strictly for fun. Pissing off Johnny was his full-time job and dating his younger sister? It would’ve been the easiest way. 

You and Jaehyun chatted until you couldn’t ignore each other’s incessant yawns and made the mutual agreement to crawl under the sheets together. A rare Jungkook appearance one weekend forced you into bed with each other and ever since that was how you’d slept. 

Side by side, skin to skin. 

The sun was brighter than ever when you woke up some hours later. You noticed that the curtains were open. And they had been since you likened Jaehyun to a vampire.

Speaking of Jaehyun, he was still sleeping like a rock beside you, completely still other than the gentle heave of his chest as he snored quietly. You crawled gingerly out of bed so as not to disturb his rest, the sight of him still asleep when you stood making you sigh out in relief. 

After a quick wash-up in the bathroom, you headed downstairs for a snack. Your stomach was rumbling and you realized that you hadn’t eaten since you left home. 

What you didn’t expect was to see Yugyeom half-naked in the kitchen though. 

You weren’t sure why. It was his house and if he wanted to walk around like he just went skinny dipping, then he had that right. Fortunately, he was wearing sweatpants, so you were spared from that unsightly picture. 

Yugyeom heard your footsteps and turned. “Oh, hey. Sleep good?”

“I only slept for a few hours,” you confessed, though you felt like you were quite well-rested. “But yeah, I slept pretty good.”

Yugyeom chuckled. “I bet.”

You said nothing else. Yugyeom wasn’t a total stranger, even before you started crashing at his house, but you weren’t close by any means. 

“I didn’t think you’d be here,” you said after a pause, straddling a barstool. 

“I mean, I do live here. Who do you think pays most of the bills?”

“Jaehyun,” you chirped. 

“Okay, that’s fair. Who do you think pays the second most of the bills?”

“You and Jungkook, but it wasn’t always that way.”

Yugyeom threw in the towel, realizing Jaehyun had most definitely had this discussion with you at some point. Then, he started to laugh. Jaehyun was discussing their finances with you? There was no way in living hell. 

I’ll be damned. Yugyeomed sighed in amusement. “You know, you’re the first girl I’ve seen last this long with Jaehyun.”

“Oh?”

“I’m not saying he’s a player, but I thought I’d stop seeing you around here, like, two weeks ago. For a girl to survive a month with him, she has to really crank up his brain. And Jaehyun isn’t easily impressed,” Yugyeom said. 

It was obvious what he was implying and you knew exactly where this was heading. “I’m sure, but Jaehyun and I are just vibing.”

“I didn’t say that you weren’t.”

“Yes, but you think that we aren’t,” you replied, rubbing your arms. It was always cold the mornings after. 

Yugyeom laughed. “No, I don’t. Not right now. I didn't even crack Jaehyun that soon. All I’m saying is Jaehyun is a real gem and I think that you have a solid chance.”

“And you want me to take it?”

Yugyeom was strategically bouncing around, going from subtly planting ideas in your head to making them seem as if they were your own. “Whatever you do with that information is out of my hands and none of my business.”

Your lips parted to speak, but you were fortunately saved by the bell. Footsteps were heard from the hall and Jaehyun emerged from around the corner, voice deep from sleep, “What are you two talking about?”

Yugyeom lied without hesitation, “How handsome you are, of course.”

Jaehyun didn’t believe it for a second, but he stole the barstool beside you and gently nudged your elbow. “You think I’m handsome?”

“Oh, the handsomest,” you deadpanned, but rested your head onto his shoulder. 

Jaehyun let you. At least for a little while, but then he pulled you into his chest and mumbled groggily, “You left me.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your hands tangled into his dark hair. “I’ll stay next time.”

“Good.”

Yugyeom was peering into the fridge, shaking his head, wondering if he was the only one that saw your fate. 

The whole weekend was spent in Jaehyun’s arms, restless. If you weren’t getting high on marijuana and chatting about whatever came to mind, you were dancing to one of his vinyls. If you weren’t kissing each other breathless, you were fucking each other senseless. 

It was two days of whimsical fun, ignoring the world and its insignificant little woes. In many ways, Jaehyun was like your oasis.

You were starting to hate Mondays. They were the days where you realized that nothing was forever, every time without fail. The days you had to finally face the world after a weekend of neglecting its existence. 

Plus you didn’t get a lot of Jaehyun during the other five days of the week, and though you understood your conflicting schedules, it was getting less and less easy to cope. 

Finals week thankfully gave you less time to think about whatever the hell was blossoming between you and Jaehyun. You didn’t want to think about it, because you were well aware that it wouldn’t last. As perfectly as Jaehyun molded into you, there was no piece of him that fit the bigger picture. 

But of course, you were pacing down your school’s courtyard with a bag slung over your shoulder when you noticed Mark’s footsteps catching up to you. “Wanna tell me why Johnny asked me if you’ve been going out with somebody lately?” he asked.

You pretended to be oblivious, keeping your head straight and your steps quick. “Why would he ask you that?”

“Because I’m your best friend and you tell me everything, or so I thought,” Mark hissed.

You groaned, weighing your options. You could keep this private love affair to yourself and let the guilt and pressure split you down the middle, or you could confide in your best friend and hope it took the edge off. 

Pulling Mark behind a tree and scanning your surroundings for unwanted bystanders, you exhaled roughly and said, “Don’t freak out, but I may or may not be sleeping with Jeong Jaehyun on the weekends.”

Mark was understandably dumbfounded by that information and screeched aloud, “What the fuck, dude?”

“I just said don’t freak out!”

Mark shook his head, the total opposite of cool and collected. There was no way in hell he wasn’t going to freak out. “Are you kidding? Johnny literally wants to kill him.”

“God, I know,” you bemoaned, pressing a palm to your forehead. This whole situation combined with the stress of finals was giving you a splitting headache. 

The shock was still evident on Mark’s face, but he seemed to be cooling off. “Shit, dude. This is crazy. Is the sex at least good?”

Your mind was fluttering with memories and it was hard to resist a smile. Getting laid right now would probably fix you. “Jeong Jaehyun may be a scoundrel for whatever reason, but I can reassure you he is not lacking in the sex department.”

Or any department. It was strange that in the weeks the two of you had spent bonding and the like, you had yet to identify a single red flag of Jaehyun’s. Apparently, the weirdest thing about this boy was the amount of pictures he kept of his toes. 

“Oh my god,” Mark gasped. 

“What?”

“That night you went upstairs to pee and didn’t come back,” Mark started, finally connecting the dots and displeased he hadn’t seen the hints earlier. “You were off screwing Jaehyun, weren’t you?”

“Actually, no. I was with him, yes, but we weren’t hooking up then.”

Mark was baffled to very fucking his core. That had to be half a decade ago. This whole time, you were spending your spare time on Jaehyun and nobody knew?

Gripping Mark by the shoulders, you stared into his eyes and said sternly, “Listen. You can’t tell Johnny.”

Your best friend made a face of disapproval, but nodded his head. “Alright. Fine.”

“I’m serious. You have to promise.”

Mark groaned, “Dude, I’m not gonna tell Johnny that you’re fucking Jaehyun. No matter how bizarre and borderline batshit insane that is to say aloud. I promise your secret is safe with me.”

You released his shoulders and a shaky breath, relenting. “Okay.”

“But that doesn’t mean that I approve.”

“Understandable. I can live with that.”

“I don’t see how,” Mark grumbled under his breath. 

You frowned. 

Months flew by. Christmas and News Year were a blur, two events you and Jaehyun spent at separate locations. Your parents were rarely home, but the winter holidays were a period of time that they always made sure to be around for. And Jaehyun paid his family a visit that week. 

But then it was February, and the national holiday that was Jaehyun’s birthday came of nowhere. 

“No way you were born on Valentine’s day,” you remembered telling him a few months back after asking him about his birthday. Jaehyun had groaned, more than accustomed to how this conversation played out. This was far from his first rodeo. 

Though it was rare that a girl made it to actually celebrate his birthday with him. 

Idiotically, you found yourself scorching with nerves that afternoon, overwhelmingly anxious. Your whole body was tense and you paced around your room antsily for hours until it was time to get in your car and head out to Jaehyun’s house. 

You had gotten him a gift and you weren’t sure whether he would like it or not. Then again, you had spent weeks planning what you would give him based on every second of every little conversation you’d shared and you were half confident, half uncertain. 

Jungkook opened the door to leave at the same moment you were preparing yourself to go inside, most likely heading to his girlfriend’s place after spending the morning celebrating his friend’s birthday, and held the door open for you. “Uh, do you need a minute?”

“No. Thank you,” you replied bashfully, catching the door and finally turning inside. 

You took one more deep breath and paced upstairs while gripping the box in your hands so tightly it might’ve broken. 

Jaehyun was sitting on his bed, his guitar in his hands instead of standing upright in the corner of his bedroom as typical, and glanced up when he heard your footsteps. “Hi.”

“Hi, birthday boy,” you greeted. 

Jaehyun was smiling. You had already wished him a happy birthday at midnight on the dot which was a sweet gesture in itself. 

“I, uh, got you something,” you said, mentally cursing yourself for sounding so nervous. 

“I can see that.” Jaehyun set his guitar aside. There was curiosity in his stare, but he whispered, “You didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to. You’re my… friend,” you told him awkwardly, handing over the gift before it made you say something stupid. “I didn’t know what to get a guy who has literally everything he wants, but I tried.”

Jaehyun accepted the gift box graciously, peeling off the wrap, and said, “Whatever you got me is more than enough, baby.”

You sure hoped so. You didn’t spend the past few weeks stressing over this very moment for nothing. You wanted to give him something thoughtful and memorable. 

Anticipation made your heart sound like thunder. You fidgeted, twiddling your thumbs as Jaehyun slowly opened the box, retrieving a guitar strap alongside a couple of other items. The awe that tensed Jaehyun’s features was authentic and your heart was taut with giddiness when his lips tugged into a beaming smile. 

A few words scribbled onto the guitar strap caught Jaehyun’s attention and he unhesitatingly pulled them closer to his face to get a better look. It was like a little note, but words only you would say. Play me till the end. 

“Wow,” Jaehyun whispered, feeling a thumping inside of his ribcage. “You… I literally mentioned that I wanted one of these in passing.”

“When you talk, I listen.”

Jaehyun’s eyes met yours. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you murmured, straddling his lap and tossing your arms around his neck. “Happy birthday, baby.”

Jaehyun set his hands at your hips and kissed you restlessly, restraint taking the backseat as he absorbed every bit of your warmth and used it to fuel his fire. Your lips took him to the other side but your hands kept him grounded. 

Things felt different now. Kissing Jaehyun had never not been spellbinding, but right now? The feeling in your chest was indescribably hot. 

But it was dangerous and terrifying. It defied everything you told yourself to be true, and every principle you had laid out. This was deeper than building a relationship with the enemy. It was the intimacy that accompanied trusting another guy with your heart, and fighting the unshakable doubts. 

You had built something of a friendship with Jaehyun. Friends that occasionally kissed and felt each other up and had hooked up more than once. 

But what if you wanted more? What if you were really two star-crossed lovers that couldn’t have each other? What if?

Jaehyun wondered if your feelings had gotten as tense as his were. Months ago, he was telling himself not to get too close to you because of who your brother was and your clear lack of romantic intentions, but no amount of walls he put up could’ve prevented his feelings from getting this deep. 

You wouldn’t tell him even if they had. What good would it have done for him to know that you loved him, but you couldn’t have him? 

When Jaehyun pulled back, he stared into your eyes, not at your lips. “Let’s go make hot cocoa,” he said after a pause.

You blinked in surprise, but Jaehyun was already tugging you along before you could even think. 

The time in the kitchen together was a beautiful mess. You liked randomly bursting out into song and Jaehyun liked dancing, which ultimately turned into him tenderly cradling you there in his arms and mumbling into your ear, the hot cocoa all but forgotten. 

You especially liked the toasty smell of a hot, creamy mug of hot chocolate. It was very Jaehyun-like. The winter seasons in general were reminiscent of his personality, not because he was cold (like some people assumed), but the sheer opposite. 

Jaehyun was the warmest guy that you had ever met, in a way. Anyone who said otherwise didn’t have the privilege of knowing him, but you? You liked to think that you had him all figured out.

Maybe there was a chance you did to an extent. Getting to know him over the course of these long months had definitely shifted your previous perspective. Jaehyun kept to himself because he was afraid of his vulnerability being used as a weapon, but when you broke those stubborn barriers, you saw that Jaehyun was just a guy that wanted a home. 

He had one, metaphorically speaking, but no one to share it between. That was why you used to think he was shy, and why others thought he was cold. Jaehyun wanted to protect the home he’d built for himself and was reluctant to let others in, because he wanted it to be sturdy for the ones he would let stay.  

A hopeless romantic to his core. 

After making sure the kitchen was tidy, Jaehyun led you away to the infamous white couch that stretched along his living room wall. Your favorite spot in the whole house. Aside from his bedroom, of course.

Jaehyun, on the other hand, couldn’t decide. Half of it was littered in a slew of memories of you and his whole bedroom smelled more like you than it did himself now. Picking a favorite would be an impossible choice. 

There was a lull of silence as the two of you sipped from your mugs, but it wasn’t an issue. The silence was always comfortable with Jaehyun, as well as literally everything else about him. 

Though you didn’t notice, the weird thing now was that Jaehyun was less secure. He didn’t make it obvious, but he was remarkably nervous. Jaehyun tried to cloak his nerves when he said, “I kind of got you something, too.”

Your eyes went wide with shock. “You got me something… for your birthday?”

“I mean, yeah. It’s also Valentine’s day and you’re… important to me,” Jaehyun confessed softly, a tiny smile breaking out onto his lips. 

“I am?”

“You are,” he whispered, hurriedly reaching into his pockets for something. Imagine your surprise when he dropped a USB drive into the palm of your hand. “Stick it into your computer when you get home.”

You nodded obediently, sitting it on the coffee table so that it wouldn’t be crushed in your jeans, but your innate curiosity was never satisfied and you asked, “What’s on it?”

“A surprise,” was all Jaehhyun said. 

You hummed. If Jaehyun didn’t want to tell you, you knew it would be pointless to press. 

But you would be lying if you said that it wasn’t killing you. 

Jaehyun knew that. He knew you were a curious individual, because he was drawn to your insatiable need to know. But he didn’t want to be there to see your reaction. Just looking at you made his chest taut and rejection’s brutal fangs still ripped him to shreds. 

At least you couldn’t tell by looking at him. Jaehyun had made sure of that. “Talk to me,” he said, squeezing your hand. 

You smiled, because his hands were warm from the hot cocoa. “About what?”

“Tell me more about yourself. It’s been months, but I feel like there’s still more to know about you. Talk to me about what you love. Your hopes and dreams.”

A little sigh left you. “Where do I even begin?” That was what you said, but you’d already continued without affording yourself any time to pause. “I want to be an orthopedic surgeon. I’m obsessed with anatomy and how our bodies function. That’s why I’ve been busting my ass for grad school.”

That much was obvious. Anybody that saw you on the party scene might’ve assumed you were merely another hopeless college student who only knew hooking up and getting shit-faced drunk, but Jaehyun’s first time seeing you was in the back of a library with a laptop and a heap of textbooks. 

You were a hard-worker and no hangover stood a chance between you and your goals. But you were also just a normal girl who wanted to let loose sometimes. It was the perfect balance. 

Jaehyun was a keen listener. “That sounds tough.”

You fought a groan. “God, yes. But it’s so worth it. It’s my senior year and I’ve been waiting my whole life for med school.”

“You’ve wanted to be a surgeon for that long?”

“I’ve always known who I wanted to be,” you exhaled contentedly. And for that you were endlessly grateful. “What about you?”

Jaehyun shook his head. “No. Not always. First, I guess I had to leave home and do the whole ‘finding yourself’ thing.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s rare that people are born with an innate sense of who they are. We deserve to live life through trial and error. That’s freedom,” you said.

Jaehyun wholeheartedly agreed. Leaving home to explore his identity might’ve been the toughest decision he ever made, but also the best one. “What about love?”

“What about it?”

“Did you ever dream of that, too?”

You should’ve figured he would go there. It was the essential question. The world of trauma beyond your control. “I used to,” you admitted, somber. “I just haven’t had a ton of faith in it lately. That’s what happens when you grow up, I think. You realize life’s not like the movies.”

Funny how I call you a hopeless romantic when hopeless romantics are anything but hopeless. In spite of the pain and the betrayal, they refuse to accept that they might die alone one day. If anything, I’m the hopeless one. I’ve fallen in love with the one boy I could never make mine. 

Jaehyun frowned for a split second, but recovered quickly. “Yeah, I know.”

You wondered who had hurt him, but chose not to ask. If he wanted to tell you, then he already would’ve. 

“You didn’t ask me,” Jaehyun started. 

You glanced up at him. 

“About my pain,” he continued shortly. “About her.”

“I didn’t think you were ready.”

“Do you want to know?”

“I mean, yeah. Of course, I want to know who hurt you and how that made you who you are. I want to understand you. But only as much as you want me to,” you told him. The truth was that as curious as you were, you were afraid of overstepping. The same way that Jaehyun was terrified of oversharing. 

He replied with total certainty, “I want you to know.”

You swallowed, feeling a lump form in your throat and unsure why. It was his deep, dark secrets being revealed, not yours. Plus you were positive there wasn’t a single person in the county who didn’t know your history with your one and only ex. “Okay. Take your time.”

Jaehyun heaved a shaky breath, preparing himself to share something that he’d never specifically told anyone. “Back home in Seoul, I dated a girl. I was naive and I thought she was the one. But she wasn’t. She only wanted a guy handsome enough to impress her parents.”

You maintained eye contact to let Jaehyun know you were listening. 

Jaehyun continued, “I guess we had different desires in life. She wanted a boy to show off and I wanted a girl who was my best friend at the foundation. We only talked about surface things. I couldn’t be myself around her.”

You nodded. That sounded like the Jaehyun you knew. 

“Then, I found out she was cheating on me,” Jaehyun added calmly, but he still recalled the trembles of anger that wrecked through his body. “And I left her then and there. I dipped. I might’ve been a naive idiot, but I knew my worth. She was my first and my last.”

You were shocked. That you shared the same pain - an unfaithful partner - and that Jaehyun hadn’t had nearly as many other partners as you thought he would’ve. “You’ve only dated once?”

“For me, once was enough to figure out what I wanted in a relationship, and it wasn’t a girl who I could barely trust or be myself with,” Jaehyun said. “I talked to other girls, but like I said before, nothing lasted, and I’ve obviously hooked up.”

Ironically, I’ve been hurt more by girls I never had than a girl that was supposed to belong to me. 

“I harbored resentment for a long time, but what lasted longer was the leftover fear of trusting someone again. I only let people see what I want them to see. And because of that, I’m a little lonely sometimes, but it’s okay.”

“Does it get sad?” you asked quietly. 

Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe, but it’s better than being heartbroken. Anyways, I’ve gotten better about inviting people into my life and having good judgment. Time makes it easier.”

You make it easier, was what he meant, but Jaehyun wasn’t that bold yet. He might have been the one to approach you and attempt to initiate this private affair, but you sticking around was the last thing he expected. And that opened the door for the possibility that relationships didn’t have expiration dates. 

Reading between the lines, you were hoping that somewhere along them he wasn’t hinting about a potential future with you. Jaehyun’s head was in the clouds, but you were grounded below the surface. Because you had already resigned yourself to the fact that you didn’t have a future together.

But of course, that never stopped you from letting him undress you. 

You were hyper aware of Jaehyun’s eyes staring into yours and it was beginning to unnerve you a little. “Is there hot cocoa on my face?”

Jaehyun shook his head with a cute laugh and finally leaned into you for a kiss, obviously done speaking and prepared to show. You let him take you down onto the couch, laid defenseless beneath him, on the edge of surrender. 

You giggled into his lips, pleased at how silly it was that he tasted like the hot drink you’d shared. Your hands were wound through his hair and tugging him closer to you, wanting to be inseparable. You wouldn’t be sated till his soul was tied to yours. 

When it came to your body, you were more than inclined to let Jaehyun dominate you. But your heart was more than you had bargained for. 

Jaehyun yanked at the waistband of your sweatpants and you swore you could sense your heart swelling with the exhilaration of getting laid by the only guy you wanted. You raised your hips, letting him take them and your underwear from underneath you. 

You gasped loudly when his fingers ghosted along the insides of your thighs and unhurriedly traveled to your core, which was throbbing at the barest of touches. Jaehyun made you ache. Your body neglected every thought that didn’t concern him when it longed for him to use it until you were sore. 

Jaehyun sucked a slick pair of fingers into his mouth fleetingly before inserting them inside your pussy, making you verbally respond to the contact with a soft whimper, and stole the sound right from your lips with a hot wet kiss. You only tightened around his digits when he pressed his lips to you and it made his head spin quicker than ever. 

You pulled back and panted, “So, you won’t let me sleep on the couch, but you’ll fuck me on it?”

“It’s seen worse days,” Jaehyun said, muting the sound of his own chuckle when he pressed his mouth to your neck. 

You were torn between a laugh and a moan and the final sound was a breathy whimper of Jaehyun’s name. His mouth felt too good on your neck and you couldn’t forget his hands between your parted legs. Gentleman in the streets, but a beast in the sheets. 

Jaehyun was touching you impatiently. Your exhales were loud and jagged when he pulled back from your stained throat, and Jaehyun couldn’t help but imagine the noises you would make when he was finally seated deeply inside of your pussy that was clenching around his long slender digits. 

Deciding you were wet enough to take his cock, Jaehyun recouped his hand from between your thighs and asked, “You ready for me, baby?”

“More than,” you whispered, disgruntled with the emptiness but consoled by the knowledge that you would be full of him momentarily. 

Jaehyun stepped out of his clothes without hesitation and got a hold of your naked legs, dragging you toward him and leaving no room for empty space. The two of you locked eyes when he finally started to penetrate you and he looked at you with need. But you glanced away. You couldn’t stare into his soul as he captured yours. You couldn’t do it. 

You moaned when he pushed the head of his cock through your entrance and again when it went as deeply as it could enter. The stretch was so mad, but so good. You never knew how closely the pain could be interlocked to pleasure before Jaehyun took you for a spin on his big cock.

Jaehyun pulled out with a disgruntled groan, stealing the pleasure before you could really soak in the sensation. 

You winced your eyes open and asked confusedly, “Why did you do that?”

“I forgot a condom,” Jaehyun admitted bashfully, a timid little glint in his stare. 

“Gee, you sure chose a fantastic time to remember,” you deadpanned. 

Jaehyun looked like he was a little ashamed and it amused the hell out of you. In the heat of your vice-like cunt, he’d lost track of all thoughts other than getting his cock inside. 

You gawked when he stood and you caught an eyeful of his cute butt when he turned for the stairs. “Where are you going?”

Like it was the most obvious thing in the whole world, Jaehyun replied nonchalantly, “To get a condom.”

“Sit your cute ass down,” you told him a bit too assertively. “You can have me raw.” 

Jaehyun looked like his brain short-circuited. “For real?”

You nodded. “Yes, for real, you dummy. Just pull out.”

Jaehyun combed his fingers through his hair and groaned, “That’s one hell of a responsibility, woman.”

You purred teasingly, “Are you scared you won’t be able to do it, or are you scared that you’ll bust too fast?”

Jaehyun’s eyes fell to your gorgeous, spread legs, thickly swallowing the lump in his throat at the mouth-watering sight of you laid bare and exposed as you waited for him to take you. Fuck. Maybe both.

You snickered to yourself. Unbeknownst to Jaehyun, you were on birth control. And you had no intention of telling him right now. You wanted to gauge his restraint. 

Jaehyun didn’t reply, but he did return to the couch to slip between your folds again, and that was even better. Your pussy throbbed tirelessly, missing the way his thick cock stretched you out, and it drew deep grunts from the very back edge of Jaehyun’s throat. 

You could feel every inch of him pressed deep inside your pulsing walls, flush against you. All of him. There was literally nothing to separate the two of you, exactly as you had wanted, only the heat and tightness of your cunt suffocating his cock relentlessly. 

Jaehyun loved how you took him like a fucking champ. You sucked his cock back in like you needed it, like you needed him just as badly as he needed you. Your eyes winced closed and your lips parted as you sang his name in a shrill whimper. 

You were rapt with ecstasy at his long, deep thrusts that took you to the moon. The pain and guilty thoughts disappeared into his slow yet steady rhythm, as if Jaehyun wanted to make sure you could feel every bit of himself that he had to offer. 

Like he was making love to you.

“You’re so beautiful. I’m in love with your body,” Jaehyun whispered gently into your ear, hooked on you.

You moaned, oblivious to the fact that he really meant he was in love with you. When your naked bodies were bursting with heat and satisfaction, meeting each other in a wet collision, all else ceased to matter. 

Jaehyun kissed you again. You swore he stole the pulse right from your chest in that very moment, your heart open to him. His hands were everywhere, tenderly cupping your breasts and thumbing your stiff nipples. This was pleasure. This was elysian. This was all yours.

You were breathless when the two of you separated and the minutes of your lips tangled together felt like mere seconds. God, Jaehyun made you insatiable. As you did to him. The two of you couldn’t get enough, not of the sex and not of each other. It was lethally dangerous to want something as badly as you both wanted one another. 

But you knew that when you laid eyes on him, when you indulged him. You knew that he was endless trouble and yet you crept into his arms anyway like a moth to the flame. 

“God, fuck,” you rasped, throat hoarse from how you were screeching his name. “You make me feel so good.”

Jaehyun was so gentle and affectionate with you, tickling kisses down every bit of your soft skin his lips could access. It was times like these, when he completed you perfectly, where you welcomed the thought that you were made for each other. And only for each other. 

Your mouth was dry, open with every halfway cry of Jaehyun’s name that you could manage. Your skin was damp and sticky with moisture, a thin layer of sweat keeping his skin adhering to yours. Of course, there was a similar glistening sheen dripping down Jaehyun, beading at his forehead and neck. 

It made you lick your chapped lips. This man was abundantly mouth-watering. You wanted to give him anything he wanted and in this sex-induced haze, you knew that you would have. 

Jaehyun noticed your eyes fixated on literally anywhere but his face and it made him chuckle smugly. He craned his head downwards to nibble beneath your ear and groan praises about how perfect and tight you were around his cock. 

You tangled your hands in his hair again, desperate to ground yourself, before sitting them at his handsome broad shoulders. He had no business being this good at touching and fucking you. You were downright ashamed of the noises that left your lips but made no attempts to block the pleasure causing them to slip into the dense air. 

“Like that. Fuck, I’m gonna cum, Jay,” you whimpered, squeezing his shoulders. 

The thought of you releasing around his bare cock made a shudder shoot through Jaehyun and he almost couldn’t take it. You sensed his pace getting a little rougher, as if he was out to get you. Out to finish you. “Look at me,” he growled. 

You did. You didn’t have any other options. Not when it was him bleeding you dry, making your body dependent on his touches.

Looking into his dark eyes, everything stopped. The whole world was set on pause. You almost couldn’t breathe. This was how it felt to fall with no anchor.

“I want you to cum on my cock,” Jaehyun said lowly, rutting into you at a dangerous pace. 

You nodded. You were completely submissive to his desires.

There was a throbbing pressure in your gut that only got harsher with every wet smack of Jaehyun’s hips into yours. You wound your legs around his waist and pulled him into you, wanting to fuse together your limbs. 

Your body felt as if it were on fire. The sweat cooling down your neck, the lack of oxygen in the air. The breaths Jaehyun snatched plain from your lips. It was more than enough to take you out. 

Jaehyun watched as your orgasm finally seized you in its open arms, taking you by surprise. Your abs tensed viciously and you arched into Jaehyun with pleasure, sensing your eyes roll to the very back of your head and your toes curl into taut knots. 

You were still sensitive from your climax but Jaehyun’s pace was absolutely unforgiving, rutting into you mercilessly through your release. The tightness of your pussy drew a thick groan out of his mouth, but he still wasn’t done with you yet. And you were very keen on letting him use your body until he finished. 

Jaehyun relented when you finally started to calm down after coming undone, kissing your cheeks and the corner of your lips as you went almost entirely slack. The only motion in you was the aggressive heave of your chest as you panted for breath. 

You let Jaehyun thrust in and out of you, fighting the overstimulation for his sake. You were content to feel him brushing against your slick walls and hear those breathy grunts. 

Smoothing your hands up and down his burly arms, you whispered, “Jay, baby, keep going. I don’t care how long it takes. Fuck me until you’re done.”

Jaehyun bit his lip to veil a pathetic moan at those words. After he took care of your needs, you were letting him ply you for his own pleasure. You were his vice, his ruining. Your fingers grazed across his back, gathering the droplets of moisture that were beading at the surface. 

You could feel how hot his skin was, burning up in the heat of you. 

Abruptly, Jaehyun pulled out of you and tore you upright, holding his desperate cock in the palm of his hand as he groaned, “Get on your knees.” 

You obeyed without hesitation, meek. Crawling onto the carpet floor, you took him in your palms and stroked his thick girthy cock gingerly, careful not to be too rough. He was victimless in your warm hands, needy and at your mercy, leaving you with total control. 

Then it was game over for Jaehyun when you finally took him between your soft lips, gently easing him to the back of your throat. God, it was a struggle to fit his big cock completely into your mouth, but you somehow managed. You kept your cheeks hollowed, opening them for him to thrust. 

“Fuck,” Jaehyun moaned, head thrown back and eyes winced closed. You knew exactly what needed to be done to finish him off. 

You liked playing with his cock, obviously, but you loved having it in your mouth way more. There was nothing like driving Jaehyun to the cusp of insanity, teasing him with your tongue and hot mouth, plucking those beautiful sounds out of his lips. He lost himself whenever he was inside your throat. 

Jaehyun was in total bliss. Your mouth was no less impressive than your sheathlike cunt for all he knew, your lips wrapping around his stiff cock feverishly without a doubt in your mind that you could make him lose his own, and he almost didn’t want to orgasm yet. He only knew you, and what you did to him. And he was too greedy to want it to end. 

You had this boy all to yourself, wrapped tightly around your fingers with nowhere to hide. And you didn’t have the slightest clue what to do with him, or yourself. 

Aside from pleasuring each other in bed, or on the couch in this case. You were exceptionally gifted at getting him off.

Jaehyun could feel himself approaching the threshold of release and he did everything in his power to fight it off, to keep it at bay, but it was basically useless. He couldn’t even help but fuck your mouth. You were working him too good and he was coming whether he liked it or not. 

You were impressed that he had even lasted this long. Normally, when you let a guy hit it raw, they could barely resist emptying their load into you at the peak of climax. 

Jaehyun ultimately couldn’t control himself anymore and his jaw slacked with a deep, lethal groan as his hips came to a total standstill, painting the back of your throat with a streak of cum. Fuck, it was the sexiest noise you’d ever heard, and it aroused a throbbing between your legs. 

You managed to gulp him down and it was the hottest thing Jaehyun had ever seen watching you swallow his cum like that. He pulled back, a misty gleam in his dark soulless eyes as he collapsed onto the couch, breathless. There was a layer of dew at your lashes and you dabbed at your eyes to wipe them clear. 

Jaehyun looked like he’d just had the ground ripped from underneath him. “You just blew my mind,” he said through jagged breaths. 

You didn’t miss a beat. “I just blew you.”

Jaehyun laughed, shaking the hair out of his face. 

After both of you found your clothes and redressed yourselves, you decided to mention slyly, “By the way, I’m on birth control.”

Jaehyun’s mouth gaped open. “Are you serious? I was scared you might get pregnant.”

“That didn’t stop you from fucking me though, now did it?” you replied, crossing your arms. 

“I wasn’t that scared.”

You snickered. This idiot was a man you wanted to protect with your life, but you knew that you lacked the arsenal. “Besides, at least our baby would’ve had the world’s finest father.”

“And the world’s finest mother. They would’ve been beautiful,” Jaehyun flirted. 

Your cheeks flushed with heat at the compliment and his obvious flirtatious behavior. “I meant that you would’ve been a good dad, but sure. That works too.”

Jaehyun’s eyes flickered in shock. “Why do you think that?”

You shrugged, not thinking too hard about it. You didn’t need to when the answer was right at the tip of your tongue. “Because love itself is your passion. You’re selfless, patient. Protective. And you fight for what you love.”

Jaehyun said nothing. He was mulling over your confession, suspiciously quiet the whole time, but you were so tired that you hardly noticed. Your body was spent and you wanted to go upstairs and climb into his bed. 

You stretched your arms over your head and stood to collect the cocoa-stained dishes in your arms. Jaehyun blinked at the action, and would’ve stopped you to do it himself, but you were already halfway to the kitchen by the time he noticed. 

Jaehyun walked over and pressed himself behind you, draping his arms around your hips and resting his chin on your shoulder. You giggled, enamored with how it felt to be skin-to-skin with him, and when you finished with the two mugs, he reached over your head to set them down in the cabinets. 

You dragged Jaehyun upstairs by his arm to his own bedroom and slipped beneath his silk sheets, but invited him to drape himself above you and rest his head on your chest like you were his fluffy pillow and he was the thick, cozy blankets. 

It was comfortable that way. You liked Jaehyun’s weight on you, so close to you, crushed beneath the pressure. His arms would tangle around you and leave you little room to escape. But you wouldn’t want to leave. 

That was how you woke up sometimes. You used to be afraid that you’d accidentally rouse him and disturb his beauty slumber, but Jaehyun always slept like a ton of bricks. This boy could probably sleep through a hurricane and wake up wondering what happened to his roof. 

You sighed, whisking your fingers through his dark hair and staring at his face. You expected his eyes to be closed when you looked at him, but they were watching you. The ache in your chest was unignorable, unbearable. 

Those long nights and shorter mornings with Jaehyun were all you had, but you wanted something of permanence and you were finally admitting it to yourself. You knew these moments couldn’t last forever and didn’t attempt to deny it, but you were hoping and wishing. 

Smoothing your thumb down Jaehyun’s cheek, you felt a piece of your heart crumble. I can’t have you and I don’t even know why. 

“Jay?” you whispered. 

“Hm?”

You hesitated, brimming with reluctance. A few months ago, you would’ve thought it wasn’t your place to ask, but dammit Johnny was your brother and Jaehyun… meant something to you. This was officially your business. “Why does my brother hate you?” you asked. 

Jaehyun sat up abruptly, surprised. You matched the shock in his eyes, startled by his sudden movements. “You don’t know?”

You shook your head. “No. Johnny never told me. I assumed he would when he was ready, but it’s killing me and I need to know.” Because I can’t make sense of why we can’t be together, but ironically, it makes it easier to justify being here with you right now.

Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair, looking particularly perturbed. No wonder it was so easy for you to climb into bed with him. Night after night, weekend after weekend. 

You were almost afraid to ask, “Is this going to change my perspective on you?”

“It shouldn’t if you believe me,” Jaehyun said, but the truth was that he wasn’t too confident that you’d take his side. 

You peered up at him expectantly, resting your hand on his back while he sat beside you. You were partly terrified to know the truth, watching him nervously, but god, you were exhausted of being kept in the dark. 

Jaehyun exhaled deeply. He didn’t want to lose you, not before he truly had you, but he knew what he was, and more importantly, he knew what he wasn’t. “You knew Mike, right?”

You bobbed your head, lips parting in surprise at the mention of Johnny’s friend, but let him continue. 

Jaehyun explained, “I’m sure you know, but he was addicted to drugs and it was fucking up his whole life. I tried to help him get clean before he fucked around and killed himself. And he was, I think. That’s what he said.”

You recognized this story. Johnny had said something similar, but it was about his own efforts. You somehow never realized that Jaehyun and Mike were friends. “But?”

“But then he wasn’t clean anymore,” Jaehyun said in the tiniest voice ever. “Last year, at one of Xiaojun’s parties. It came out of nowhere. He overdosed on fent and coke.”

You knew that too. And you hated that Mike was gone so soon, taken by a poison he couldn’t stop once he’d gotten his hands on it. It was heartbreaking. 

“Then some people started to say that I did it, that I gave him the drugs. And I was at the party only a room away when he OD’d, but I swear to god it wasn’t me. But they ran with it anyway.”

You frowned, pausing your hands’ consolations at his back in shock. It was starting to add up now, why Johnny hated Jaehyun. Because he thought he was complicit in the death of one of his closest friends. 

That was when he started to become a tad too overprotective of you and it didn’t take a genius to piece together why, but you never knew it was the reason he loathed Jaehyun and didn’t want you anywhere near him. There were so many nights where you went to parties at Jaehyun’s house and Johnny would ask if you’d done any drugs. 

Because of Jaehyun. 

“God, to this day, I want to punch the bastard that gave Mike that stuff. And if I knew who he was, I’d kick his ass. So, I can understand why Johnny wants to kick mine. But it wasn’t me,” Jaehyun said, sounding broken. 

You blinked, taking it all in silently. You were at a crossroads. 

Though he was hesitant, Jaehyun glanced into your eyes, unsure of what your silence meant. It was killing him. “Please tell me you believe me.”

“I believe you,” you said, because you did. You had no reason to doubt Jaehyun. Plus you hadn’t known him to press his luck with anything other than weed in the time that you’d known each other. 

“Thank god,” Jaehyun sighed in relief. “Does this change things between us?”

You shook your head. “No. I thought you were a good guy before and I still think you’re a good guy now. Nothing is new.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

Jaehyun rested his head on your shoulder and mumbled with obvious melancholy, “Trusting me.”

You laced your fingers through Jaehyun’s, squeezing his hand. “I’ll always trust you.”

That warmed Jaehyun’s heart and he sat there wondering what he had done to deserve you. It felt like there was a burden lifted from his shoulders. 

The day went on, bleeding into night. You expected Jaehyun to want to go somewhere to celebrate his birthday, but he reassured you that he was more than content to spend it indoors with you.

Still, it made you a little sad and you tried your best to cloak your gloomy emotions with your affections. You didn’t want Jaehyun to know, but you were thinking about how nice it would’ve been to do something as simple as go out together. 

Reasonably, you were shocked when Jaehyun said, “I want to try out this Japanese restaurant with you next weekend.”

You blinked. “You want to go out… with me?” you asked, making sure you weren’t mistaken. 

Jaehyun nodded, enthusiastic. “Is that a bad idea?”

“What if we get caught together?”

Jaehyun shrugged. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

“Of course it is. You don’t have anything to lose,” you said, but your tone was humorous.

Jaehyun replied without hesitation, “I have you to lose.”

You were sold. Those five words were all you needed to hear.

There was a ginormous beaming smile on your face when you both finally decided to call it a night and you fell asleep with a certain soreness in your cheeks. 

Jaehyun stayed up a little later than you had. Not on purpose, but it was impossible to rest his eyes when he was distracted by your sleep patterns. Your soft snores and the way your hand curled over his stomach. 

It was the sheer opposite of annoying. It was intoxicating. 

He was the one clinging to you when you roused from bed after sunrise. You felt bad for slipping away like a thief in the night, but in your defense, it was daytime and you had to be in your professor’s classroom for attendance. 

After washing up and tossing on a spare outfit you had in Jaehyun’s room for events like these, you scribbled an apologetic note that he would surely find on his nightstand and quietly crept downstairs with a sadness weighing on you now that you had to leave. 

And surely enough, Jaehyun woke up to the note and smiled like a dumbass when he rubbed his eyes and read it to himself. 

Good morning, sleeping handsome. I’m gonna miss you today, but I have an early afternoon class that I have to pass to graduate. You sleep like deadweight, by the way. I had to fight out of your arms and you didn’t notice. See you next weekend. Call me. 

Jaehyun crawled out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower, but he could tell that you’d obviously already taken one with a single simple glance, and he was wishing you had invited him to join you. 

Now he sounded like a guy. Which was fair, because he was one. 

You raced home after class ended. Though you had more than enough exams that it would’ve been a good idea to study for, the main thing on your mind was plugging in the flash drive Jaehyun had gifted you, because you still were dying to know what was on it. 

It was safe to say that a song was the last thing you were expecting. 

You froze on your bed, unsure of how to feel. Everything hit you hard. The wistful yet romantic lyrics, the softness of his voice. Jaehyun was pouring his heart out to you, opening up to you about his feelings the best way he knew how. 

There was a ripple of emotions bursting through you. The lyrics were a little too sentimental for you to attempt to convince yourself that this wasn’t Jaehyun’s idea of a love confession. Maybe you’d known all along, but you didn’t want to accept it, because you knew that it wasn’t written in the stars. 

Now you had no choice. 

You sat there and cried. God, it was a beautiful song and that only made the tears drip even harder. You were bemused and overwhelmed. Bemused that he had obviously taken a lot of time out of his busy life to sit there and record a song for you, and overwhelmed by everything else. 

Jaehyun loves me. Jaehyun really loves me, you thought, admitting it to yourself. And it scared you to death, because you loved him too. 

Then the day came for you to hang out at the restaurant. It was the first time you and Jaehyun actually spent time together outside of his house. The meetup on the bridge and the incident at Jeno’s house didn’t count. Those were merely instances you’d happened to cross paths. 

When Jaehyun came up behind you in a back hug while you were waiting for him (you were embarrassingly early), you didn’t jolt or startle, relaxing into his touch without sparing him a glance first. Nobody else would be wearing his sexy ass cologne. 

You didn’t mention the song or acknowledge the obvious romantic tension between you at all, much to Jaehyun’s disappointment. But he knew you definitely took the flash drive back home. It wasn’t on the coffee table when he went downstairs, meaning you had grabbed it on your way out.   

He couldn’t help but wonder if you had listened to it and vividly pictured your reaction, but Jaehyun knew it would be pointless obsessing over the thought if he wasn’t going to ask. 

The truth was that you were conflicted. Your heart wanted Jaehyun, but you were rational and knew it was ridiculous. There was no point in setting yourselves up for more useless heartbreak. 

But you had fun with Jaehyun in that restaurant. You didn’t want to admit it, but it was the closest thing to a date you would ever have with him. You talked and held hands underneath the table like the pair of lovers you hoped you were in another life. 

Your insatiable lovesick heart was aching for more. And the worst part was that Jaehyun was oftentimes right there in your arms but had never felt further. 

It wasn’t until you were unfortunately back home and walking through the front door that you read aloud the text you’d received from Johnny. We need to talk. I’ll be home in an hour. “Well, that cannot be good,” you mumbled to yourself. 

“It isn’t.”

You jolted in alarm. You didn’t know Johnny was home, though it had most definitely been well over an hour. Jaehyun was too interesting for you to even think about touching your phone once. 

Given the familiar less than content glare on Johnny’s face, you fought a groan, wondering what you could’ve possibly done now when you’d been on your best behavior lately. You lilted in the usual tone you used when you wanted to get out of trouble, “Hi, my handsome big brother that I love dearly.”

Johnny, obviously not in the mood, snapped, “Taeyong saw you with Jaehyun today. You wanna explain that to me?”

That was the last thing you expected him to say and the shock was plain on your face. “What?”

Johnny shook his head, unsurprised that you were acting clueless, and though he was furious he tried not to raise his voice. “Don’t play dumb. Are you dating him - fucking him?”

“I’m not dating him, we’re just…,” you trailed in frustration, realizing that you’d been caught. “Shit, yeah. I’ve fucked him and we’re hanging out.”

Johnny blew out a long, exasperated sigh. “I can’t believe this. God, my own sister.”

Tears threatened. At this point, you were desperate. Your whole world was crashing down without warning. You wished you would’ve at least seen the text and braced yourself. “Johnny, please. If you gave him a chance, I think you two would really like each other!”

“I could never like him,” Johnny replied viciously, face tensing in fury as if the suggestion was an affront to his entire existence.  

You approached Johnny, somehow mustering the courage to come near him. “Please listen to me, alright? He didn’t do it, Johnny. It wasn’t him!”

Johnny gawked. He couldn’t believe you were defending Jaehyun and took a gigantic step back, wanting to be nowhere near you. He hissed, “Of course that’s what the bastard told you. Did he give you proof?”

Frantic, you shook your head, and it came to you that you only had trust to back Jaehyun’s claims. “No, but...”

Johnny grabbed his keys and interjected, “Stop. Just stop. I don’t even want to see your face right now.”

Your lips were agape when Johnny stormed towards the garage, full of purebred rage and disappointment. 

After a few minutes, the shock started to dull away and you temporarily regained the ability to function, racing upstairs to your bedroom to be inert. You hated the brutal sting splitting you in half. While your thoughts were on pause and you were consumed by emptiness, it was the one thing keeping you from dissociating. 

Sitting there on your bed, knees pressed to your chest and your arms curled around yourself, you couldn’t even cry. It would come, but right now you were trying to process the pain. And in the meantime, you realized what needed to be done.

Two long days later, you were meeting Jaehyun at the bridge one final time. It took nearly forty-eight hours of gathering the courage to pick up your phone, but you had to let him know it was over. That this was goodbye. 

You ran your fingers across the wooden overlook, taking in nature, but even the peaceful noise of your surroundings failed to soothe your heartbreak. 

The sound of tentative footsteps barely drew you from your own head, and you didn’t want to face your visitor. You knew it was Jaehyun. For more reasons than one. 

Though you couldn’t see, Jaehyun had his hands in his pockets. “Am I late?”

“No, you’re perfectly on time. I got here early. I needed time to think,” you replied with a fleeting glance at your watch. 

Jaehyun watched you with unease, a perturbed thud in his heart making it challenging to breathe. This was bad, he knew, and for whatever reason, that fear that he was doomed was unshakable. “What happened?”

“Johnny knows,” you began, finally whipping around. It was the least you could do, knowing you had to break his heart. “Taeyong saw us together. He snitched. Now Johnny wants nothing to do with me.”

Jaehyun’s heart sank. No wonder you hadn’t texted or called him in two days. Aside from inviting him here, that is. “What now?”

“I can’t see you anymore. Johnny already hates me now. If I keep seeing you behind his back, I won’t have a brother anymore. I can’t live with that guilt. That’s why I’ve been running from it for months,” you said quietly. 

Jaehyun stiffened, like a boulder. “We’re giving up? That’s insane! Don’t let him stop us from being together.”

You recoiled, surprised. “Are you asking me to choose you over my brother?”

“No, of course not,” Jaehyun sighed, combing his hands through his hands as he searched for the right words. 

You desperately wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. “You should be with someone who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Someone you can hold and kiss outside without any worries. I can’t give you that, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun shook his head. “None of that matters to me. I want to be with you. I don’t care what compromises I have to make.”

“Well, I do,” you whispered sullenly, reminding yourself of everything you had to lose. “It was never going to work. You had to know this. We aren’t Shakespeare characters. Hell, even they don’t get to be happy!”

Jaehyun’s chest was taut with pain. It was usually him that had to tell people the brutal reality of unfortunate situations. And this was how it felt to be on the other side?

Fighting the oncoming threat of tears, you continued, “I’ve enjoyed these past months with you and we’ve made special, unforgettable memories together. But enough is enough. We were gonna have to face the truth one day, and that day is today. It was inevitable. I hope that somehow we can still be friends.”

Jaehyun spat, “I don’t want to be just friends. I can’t be just friends with you. Why don’t you understand that?”

Oh, you did. You really, really did. This was hurting you in ways unimaginable and nothing could’ve prepared you for the moment where you had to set Jaehyun free. 

Not even knowing this day would come. 

“I love you,” Jaehyun confessed for the first time, taking some steps closer to you. The gleam in his eyes killed you. 

Those words were like ice in your veins. Your heart stopped beating. For half a minute, the whole world ceased. You shook your head, sensing a vicious pain returning to you. “You can’t love me.”

Jaehyun switched on a dime and hissed, “You can’t tell me how to feel.”

Denial still crept through your blood. Apparently, it was one of your many talents. Jaehyun’s too. “You’re in love with the idea of me. You just want somebody to love again and maybe I made you realize that, but you don’t love me.”

Jaehyun was trembling. You were trying to diagnose him and he wouldn’t stand for it. “Saying that doesn’t make it true.”

You were defiant. You needed it to be true. There had to be some way to get him to let you go and move on. You didn’t want to resort to cruel methods, but you would if you were rendered optionless. 

Jaehyun continued, “You did make me realize that I wanted love again. But I also realized that I could have it all in you.”

Finally pushed past your limits, you shattered and screamed, “Goddammit, Jaehyun - you can’t have me!”

You turned away, hoping he would let you leave. You didn’t want things to end on even worse terms than they already were. 

But you should’ve known Jaehyun would be relentless. He was a fighter. You were what he wanted, what he loved, and he’d damned if he surrendered without a fight. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to walk away?” 

You rooted in place and exhaled loudly, bristling with frustration. “The fuck do you want me to do, Jay? It’s out of my hands.”

“Talk to Johnny - you know that I didn’t do anything!”

“No, I don’t know anything,” you grumbled, crossing your arms tightly. 

That stunned Jaehyun. You didn’t trust him anymore?

Jaehyun laughed, but it was humorless. Needless to say, he was pissed. “Wow. You gave up the fight before it started, before it was over. You never gave us a chance.”

You walked away. You didn’t have the strength. 

Jaehyun kept prodding. You were unbelievable and he couldn’t stand you right now. “I bet this isn’t just about Johnny. I bet him being your brother is just a cop-out so that you don’t have to trust another guy again.”

Now that stung deep. He was hitting you where it hurt, making sure you understood how badly you had wounded him, and you realized there was a chance he was right and you hadn’t even considered it. You whipped around, snapping, “Fuck you. I wish I never met you.”

Jaehyun watched you disappear behind the thick branches, simmering where he stood. God, he resented the fuck out of you right now. You were accepting defeat, throwing in the towel, and he hated you because of it. 

The seemingly endless months of ignorant bliss were washed down the drain all because you didn’t want to be a little more optimistic. You could’ve had it all together, had you not resigned yourself to being unhappy. You were so hell-bent on being realistic that you closed the door on other possibilities. 

Almost the second you burst through the front door, your tears fell after what felt like an eternity of fighting them back. Johnny and your parents turned to face you with alarm when you paraded through the living room, but you ignored your mother’s questions and made a beeline for your bed. 

Johnny didn’t ask. He already knew, and he was only somewhat satisfied that you had done what should’ve never needed to happen in the first place. 

The days of the week started to bleed into each other. You didn’t talk to Jaehyun for obvious reasons. Johnny, the man whose shoulders you thought would always be there for you to lean on, was ironically giving you the cold shoulder. And  Mark wouldn’t understand even if you explained, though you knew he was available. 

Never had you felt so alone. You had no one to escape to. No one who could comprehend or justify the moral dilemma you forced yourself into. I’ve truly outdone myself. I’ve betrayed my brother, baffled my best friend, and lost my lover back to back. That has to be a world record. 

Seven days marked the longest time you had gone without speaking with Jaehyun since the onset of this private love affair. He didn’t call or text you either, which was understandable. Plus it was what you wanted, or at least that was what you used to think. 

You weren’t sure anymore. Cutting him off was the whole purpose of meeting him, but why did it make you feel so isolated?

It wasn’t that long ago that you did it because you thought it was the right choice, or maybe because you thought it would make things better. But it hadn’t. Now that you had effectively shielded yourself from the universe, you were less free and more lonely. 

And time continued to fly by, days of leaving the house only to attend class and coming back to your room only to collapse into sorrow. 

Johnny felt bad. At night, there were a couple of times where he hovered near your door and heard you sobbing, but he was too petty and spiteful to knock or check up on you. You had stung him too. 

The difference was that when Mike died, you did everything in your power to console Johnny. You gave him the space he needed, of course, but you opened the door for him to talk to you if he wanted and lent him a shoulder to cry on. You bought all his favorite snacks and encouraged him to go outside, even if it was just the backyard. 

Now, you were suffering your own loss, one of many but in a different manner. It wasn’t like you were a bereaved wife, but the agony wasn’t any less excruciating. 

Mark came over whenever he had the extra time to spare every week to check up on you, reminding you that you weren’t as alone as you thought you were, but you still didn’t want to confide in him about your emotions. You were afraid he would unintentionally make you feel more stupid. 

You were a little verklempt. Maybe more than. They said time was the healer of all wounds, but with every week spent without Jaehyun’s familiar musk in the air and dreamy voice in your ear, you felt less and less whole.   

What could you have done to keep him close to you, even if it was just for a little while longer? Maybe if you hadn’t ended on such cold, distant terms, moving on would be easier and you would be happier. You could’ve contentedly looked back on the memories of your last time together knowing you had done everything in your control to make it better. 

But you were worried that that was false. You were worried that Jaehyun was right and this ending was premature. 

It doesn’t matter, premature or not. It was going to end either way. There’s no point in delaying the inevitable, you reassured yourself in what you once believed was aggressively honest consolation, but you were starting to question how you could be so certain. 

You told yourself that with the burden of your immoral secrets weighing you down, you and Jaehyun could’ve never been a pair. You knew it wouldn’t last forever. You’d always known. You didn’t expect things to make it this far, but dammit you didn’t expect to have your fun cut short so soon either. 

It wasn’t fair. 

Sometimes you dreamt of what it would be like to hold Jaehyun in your arms without worries, without stolen touches and kisses when nobody was paying attention. 

You sat in the nook at your window, curled up into yourself, thinking only about Jaehyun. If it wasn’t for the stupid secret that unraveled far too damn quickly, maybe none of this would’ve ever happened. Maybe I would have you, with nothing to lose. Nothing to fear.

Fuck, you should’ve been happy. Given how unlucky in love you were, you doubted that you were intended to ever be happy. You hadn’t smiled in an eternity. But Jaehyun made you feel your peak of happiness, as if you had never been more euphoric with anybody else. 

More than once, you had been in love, but never like how you were in love with Jaehyun. Why did things have to become so complicated for the both of us? Why did reality hit like a fucking freight train?

If only you never fell for Jaehyun, never even gave him the time of day, then you wouldn’t be hurting. Your heart was being tortured. 

It took another day of stumbling into the kitchen with dark eye bags after yet another sleepless night of sobbing into your pillows, and Johnny ignoring your existence altogether while he poured himself a mug of coffee, but it finally occurred to you that you couldn’t relive this agonizing cycle over and over. 

You were sick of the pain and the dread. The insufferably cold distance when his bedroom was right down the hall from yours. You were sick of sniveling until you had no more tears left to weep, until you felt totally empty. 

Something had to give. 

To your surprise, and luck, Mark called you a few minutes after you strolled back into your room wordlessly, devising a plan you loathed yourself for not thinking of earlier. “Hey, bestie. Talk to me,” he said. “How you feeling?”

“Like judgment day came early for me, I guess,” you mumbled into the phone, collapsing onto your sheets. 

Mark sighed roughly. “Damn. I was hoping you would feel a little better this week. Johnny said you’re the world’s biggest hermit and it’s kinda depressing.”

That shocked you to your core, but you tried to play it off. “Oh, Johnny’s been talking about me?”

“Well, yeah. I’ve obviously been checking up on the both of you on the regular, and neither of you really wanna open up to me, but Johnny has less of an issue talking about you. Man, he still cares. He’s your brother.”

Your heart was sore. You wished he would tell you that himself. In your own home, to your own brother, you felt like a stranger. 

Tears burned your eyes, but you fought them and lilted playfully, “Oh, my beloved bestie…”

Mark knew that tone and interjected, “Fuck.”

You fought a tiny laugh and continued, “Would you mind doing your best friend a teeny tiny little favor?”

The suggestion alone sounded like bad news and Mark was questioning what he was about to get himself into, because no matter what came out his mouth first, you were his best friend. Of course, he was going to tell you “yes.”

Mark huffed, “Jesus. Ease up on the mischief. Johnny still wants to beat my ass too, you know? He asked me if I knew you were boning Jaehyun and of course I couldn’t lie. I’m a man of God.”

Because you didn’t feel like disputing that statement, you ignored his speech entirely and asked knowingly, “Your dad’s a cop, isn’t he?”

“I don’t like where this is going.”

Your voice was maybe a little hopeful. “Is there a way that he can look into the investigation of Mike’s overdose?”

Mark knew exactly why you were asking and even he was ashamed he hadn’t thought of the little plan. There was a brief pause before he said, “I’ll call you back.” And then he hung up. 

You were a little tense sitting there on your bed waiting around for a phone call. Not because you were worried about Mark not doing it, which would be ridiculous because you both wanted what was best for Johnny. It was because you were scared of not having a solution.

Deciding it would be useless to sit around antsily, you took a well-deserved nap after a restless twenty-four hours of no sleep. It would only do you good. Even if Mark didn’t have the answers you wanted, your grades would thank you.

Sleep came easy. Though they weren’t Jaehyun’s, it was nice and peaceful bunched beneath your blankets. You flipped your pillow over to the side that wasn’t stained with tears and let darkness take the wheel. 

Johnny peeked inside your room after an hour or two, wanting to talk to you, but when he saw you comfortably snoozing in your bed and obliviously clinging onto a spare pillow for dear life, he backed away and shut the door. He knew you needed the rest. 

You jolted awake when your phone started to ring vehemently beside your head, cursing yourself for not turning on Do Not Disturb before immediately remembering why you didn’t, and quickly lifting the phone to answer gruffly, “Hello?”

“Good news,” Mark started, sounding suspiciously chipper. “I had my dad pull some strings. And you’re gonna wanna hear this.”

Sitting up, you exclaimed in an impatient whisper, “Well?”

“Jeong Jaehyun is not a suspect, for one. There were witnesses that confirmed him giving Mike his fix was impossible. But for two, the case reopened a few months ago and they’re literally about to bust the guy that did it. They’re waiting on a warrant. You’ve got great timing,” Mark said. 

You rubbed your eyes in disbelief. “What the hell?”

“Isn’t this good news?”

“Yeah, it is,” you whispered, too shocked to know how to feel. You didn’t think the stupid plan would really work. “Thank you, Mark.”

Mark was quick to reassure you, “You don’t need to thank me. You’re my best friend and Johnny is like my brother-in-law in some weird way. See, that sounds weird. Anyways, when do you plan on telling him?”

You laughed at his rambling, but hummed when you thought about his question. “Uh, would today be a bad time?”

“The sooner the better.”

You sighed in relief. Then, you donned the loveliest tone you could muster, and asked sweetly, “Will you come with me please? I think your presence will really help.”

Mark retorted, “Should I bring the entire police force too?”

You rolled your eyes and begged, “Come on, Mark. You’re my bestie and I need you. He’s more mad with me than he is with you and plus you have the benefit of a credible father.”

“I was already on my way,” Mark chirped, jiggling his keys loudly before hanging up. 

You giggled. What would you do without that boy? He was your ride or die. 

Fifteen minutes later, Mark was pulling into your driveway and hopping out of the car. You let him in, locking the door behind your best friend and embracing him in the biggest hug of his life. You needed the comfort to wean off your nerves. 

The last thing you expected was for Johnny to come trudging down the stairs within the very next minute. 

You released Mark, turning to your brother, and you and Johnny said in unison, “Hey, I really need to talk to you.”

Johnny blinked in surprise. It almost seemed like he was mirroring you. Mark snickered to himself, mumbling something about you two obviously being related, but Johnny was chill and said, “You can go first.”

You heaved a breath. It was a shock that Johnny deliberately chose to speak to you for the first time, presumably without the intervening influence of your parents’ rebuttal on your behalf. “I don’t know how to say this, but first I wanted to tell you that I’m really sorry for sneaking around with Jaehyun behind your back. It was a really shitty thing for me to do.”

Johnny nodded along, listening. 

“But I fell in love with him,” you said without hesitation. “And I’m not going to ask you to accept us or anything. That’s your choice. But I thought there was something you should know that’s bigger than Jaehyun and I.”

Johnny looked tense, but he encouraged you to go on. “Okay.”

It felt like the whole world was watching you with Johnny’s eyes carefully set on your face, but you didn’t let it stop you from continuing, “It really wasn’t him that gave Mike his supply, and yes we have proof. Mark’s dad not only confirmed it wasn’t him, but they’re working on getting him into custody.”

Mark nodded, standing right behind you. Like he was vouching for you the same way you’d vouched for him all these years. “It’s true, Johnny. It wasn’t Jaehyun. It was some random shady dealer that preys on addicts at these parties. He has a track record.”

Johnny’s eyes flickered. “It really wasn’t Jaehyun?”

Mark shook his head. “He’s innocent, dude.”

Johnny fell silent for a long time. You could see him stiffening, penitent. “I don’t know what to say,” he whispered. “I feel like shit now.”

You snorted. “Don’t do that to yourself. Please. I’ve felt like shit enough these past few weeks for the both of us.”

“About that,” Johnny began, getting whiplash. The look on his face was gentle, remorseful, and he hated himself for being anything else to his sister. To the last person that deserved his misplaced frustration. “I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for freezing you out.”

“Johnny…,” you trailed. 

Johnny shook his head. He needed you to let him say this. “I know you’ve had a rough few weeks, and though I haven’t exactly been pleased with you, you’re still my sister. The least I could’ve done was ask you ‘how are you doing?’ but I couldn’t even be bothered.”

You sighed loudly. That was true. And you’d be lying if you said it didn’t rub salt in the wounds. 

“I haven’t done a good job at showing it, but I care for you. You’re my only sibling and let’s be honest, I don’t think I’ll be getting another one,” Johnny said lightheartedly. 

You snickered. Damn right. You knew your parents would vehemently agree if they were here. They couldn’t be happier that all of their kids were adults. Well, maybe if you moved out. 

Johnny breathed in some air. A lot of mistakes had obviously been made on both parts and he was ready to put it all behind him. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I forgot to do what was more important. Be your brother. And I’ll apologize for the rest of my life until you forgive me.”

“No need. I forgive you right now,” you whispered, simpering. 

Johnny stood there like a dumbass, hesitant. He didn’t feel like he deserved your forgiveness and would be spending the next weeks repairing his relationship with you, doing whatever it took. 

You took the lead, starting reluctantly, “Listen. I know Mike’s passing has been hard on you, Johnny. That’s why you want to protect me and everything else you love in your life, but I’m an adult. You need to let me take care of me.” 

A cloud of melancholy hung over Johnny and it wouldn’t leave. The grief was still fresh, as if Mike had died yesterday. 

You stepped forward, placing a hand on Johnny’s shoulder. “And you’re my big brother. I’ll obviously still give you a call when I’m going through a rough time. But you have to respect that I’m my own person.”

Johnny nodded. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry about all that too. I’ll be better.”

“I will too,” you said, because the truth was that it was time the two of you started making efforts. 

Johnny grabbed you in his arms and pulled you into a gigantic bear hug. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close, and breathed easier in relief as weeks worth of wounds vanished. 

Wincing your eyes closed, you let yourself be content in your brother’s loving embrace for the first time in a while. You needed this. 

You could barely feel yourself breathe when Johnny started to hug you so tightly you thought he might accidentally squeeze the life out of you. “Alright, chill, Johnny. I think I might die,” you wheezed.

Johnny released you with a chuckle. You gasped for breath, shaking your head. Though the bone-crushing hug was appreciated nonetheless. 

Mark was content to be in the background and cheered in awe, “I’m so proud of you guys. You overcame your differences and reunited like real siblings. I knew it would happen eventually, but dude, this is refreshing to see.”

You nodded in agreement. One less broken relationship. But you had another one to salvage before it was too late. 

Then, Mark remembered Johnny was none too thrilled that he was complicit in you getting away with your sneaky little secret and asked, “Yo, Johnny, are we good?”

“No.”

Mark gawked. 

“I’m kidding,” Johnny said with a teasing lilt. “We’re good, man.”

Mark exhaled in relief. “Thank god.”

You smiled to yourself. You were happy, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing from your life. 

Johnny clamped a hand onto your shoulder and said, “Go get him.”

You gasped, but you didn’t question how he knew. He just did. It was a sibling thing. “You mean it?”

“Yes. You said it yourself. You love him, and I have no reason to come between that anymore. You deserve to be happy after dating asshole after asshole,” Johnny told you (sort of) kindly. 

You snickered, and grabbed your keys from your pockets. “Pray for me. He’s not gonna be thrilled.”

Johnny shook his head, disagreeing. “Yeah, he will. Tell him that I’m very sorry, but the threat to kick his ass still stands if he fucks with you.”

“I’ll be sure to let him know,” you deadpanned, heading for the door. 

The drive to Jaehyun’s house was inexplicably anxious. You could still think, but every thought went by at the speed of a thousand miles per second. And it didn’t help that you were overthinking the entire situation, dreading the endless amount of “what ifs.”

For fuck’s sake, you didn’t even know if he would be there. You were showing up unannounced, uninvited. What if he had already found another woman to keep him company in your forgettable absence?

Then, you were at his front doorstep. And you had no time to vividly imagine every possible scenario, because Jungkook answered your knocks and you could only barely see inside. 

You politely greeted him in a small voice and asked, “Can I come inside?”

Jungkook’s eyes narrowed and he didn’t waste any time in snapping, “Why should I let you in after you broke my friend’s heart?”

“Because I’m sorry and I want to set things right with him,” you said, matching his lack of hesitation. 

Yugyeom hurried over and took the lead, widening the door for you to enter and whining dramatically, “Oh, god. Please come in. Fix him. Do your womanly magic and bring him back to life. I’m sick of his brooding ass.”

You wanted to laugh, but you hated the thought of causing Jaehyun all this suffering. If it was anything like the kind you’d been through lately, you knew he was in a tough spot. 

Thanking Yugyeom, you made a beeline for the stairs, rushing up them like Jaehyun would somehow know it was you approaching them and slip away before you could get the chance to apologize. 

You knocked on Jaehyun’s door, but you guessed he really wasn’t expecting you to come over, because he shouted exasperatedly, “Jesus, Yugyeom. Fuck off.”

“It’s not Yugyeom,” you called back. “It’s me.”

All you could hear was silence. Then there was a shuffle, and a few moments later the door clicked unlocked and Jaehyun was standing before you in all his glory. “What are you doing here?”

“I walked to talk,” you replied timidly, struggling to maintain eye contact. 

Irritated, Jaehyun huffed, “We already had a conversation.” Though the truth was that he was glad you were here, standing in front of him again. He was borderline miserable without you in his life. 

The reminder of your final exchange with Jaehyun made you wince in shame. “I know, but I wanted to apologize. Won’t you at least hear me out?”

Jaehyun turned to return to his bed, reminding sharply, “You’re the one that walked away. I was willing to at least try to make us work, but you didn’t even want to do that.”

“Because I thought it would be useless,” you admitted, giving chase and shutting the door behind yourself. “But I don’t anymore. You were right. I should’ve fought for us and I regret not doing it earlier.”

Jaehyun might’ve acted like he wasn’t listening, being totally dismissive, but he definitely noticed your specific use of language. “You said ‘earlier.’ What do you mean?”

You had a beaming smile on your face as you admitted, “I mean, I talked to Johnny about us. I managed to get him to listen to me and proved your innocence. Thank god Mark’s father is a cop.”

Jaehyun softened. “You did all that? Why?”

“Because you’re worth fighting for,” you whispered tenderly, looking at Jaehyun like he was your entire universe. 

Jaehyun was so close to accepting that he would never have anyone look at him that way again. After a heartbreak, the feeling of being unlovable always loomed over his head and you were no different. But dammit if he wasn’t tired of the doubts. 

Tentatively, you came towards Jaehyun completely, sitting beside him on his mattress that you missed almost as much as you missed him. “I didn’t mean it, when I said I wish I never met you.”

Jaehyun almost laughed. That was the least hurtful thing to leave your lips. “I know. You were upset. And you had every right to be.”

You frowned, suspicious of how calm he was. You half expected him to lash out. “Stop being understanding.” 

“If you’re expecting me to be angry, I can’t do anything for you. I’ve already spent the past few weeks in that stage of grief.”

You blinked. It was as if he could read your mind. “Where are you at now?”

Jaehyun was totally indifferent when he told you, “Bargaining.”

“Funny. Me too,” you sighed. If only you had been more open-minded, you could have spared you and Jaehyun all this worthless misery. 

You noticed that Jaehyun said nothing, but he looked a little in his head. And he was somewhere up there, scolding himself for letting him be a fool for you, then thinking, I couldn’t resist loving you. Sue me. 

The emotion was finally surfacing on his face. You could see all of it now. The distress and the love and the heartache. You smirked, thinking to yourself, He’s my little damsel now. 

The grin on your lips was fleeting and it disappeared by the time you grabbed Jaehyun’s hands in yours and he peered down at you in surprise. “I’m sorry,” you told him softly. “I thought you were crazy and hopeless for thinking we could be together. Now, I see that you didn’t want to quit until you’d exhausted your resources. And I forced your hand. I’m sorry.”

Jaehyun squeezed your hand. “It’s okay. I understand where you were coming from. You were trying to make things as painless as possible because you genuinely thought we didn’t stand a chance against fate.”

“And somehow I made shit ten times more painful,” you murmured, ashamed. 

“Like I said, I understand where you were coming from,” Jaehyun said, being gentler than he should’ve. 

You shook your head. That meant nothing. “But do you forgive me?”

Jaehyun gazed into your pained eyes. It still broke him, but he was starting to lick the wound clean. Things were changing. “Yes. I forgive you, baby.”

Your heart softened at the pet name. You never expected to fall for Jaehyun. Not Jaehyun or his precious smile and adorable face. Not the little things he’d say that made you feel as if you would burst with love. 

But you did fall for him, and all those little things that made him himself. And you didn’t want to be without them ever again. 

“I’m tired of loving each other behind closed doors. I want to be seen with you. I want to go to museums and look at really abstract paintings that you’ll tell me are meaningful for whatever reason. I want to explore the city with you and visit shops I’d never think to go to otherwise.”

Jaehyun was sporting a beaming smile. “You said you love me.”

“I haven’t said it before?”

Jaehyun huffed, “No. Not even once.”

You held his face, cradling it just shy of yours, and confessed, “Then, I love you. I love you. I love you so much, Jaehyun. I don’t know what to do without you.”

“I love you too,” Jaehyun said, leaning in to mumble the tiny confession into your neck, and reminded of how desperately he craved the warmth of your skin. 

You were grinning so hard your cheeks were hurting. 

“Don’t leave me ever again. Don’t ever let me go. Never,” Jaehyun instructed you sharply, and although it was partly muffled, you heard him loud and clear.

“I won’t,” you told him, kissing his forehead. “If you play me that song you made me on your guitar.”

Jaehyun blinked up at you in surprise. “You liked it?”

“I think I’ve cried to it, like, a million times,” you admitted unabashedly. 

Jaehyun’s jaw went slack for only a split second, then he quickly recovered and leapt up to grab his guitar from its resting position in the corner of his room. 

A smile danced onto your lips as he held the guitar, strumming to the beautiful song he’d written with only his insurmountable adoration for you in mind, and the pining nature of the lyrics made you realize that the yearning was over. You were Jaehyun’s. And Jaehyun was yours. 

Losing Jaehyun, one of the few people you loved depthlessly, was like losing the last person you had. You didn’t know how to be without him. And you didn’t have to learn, because you never would be without him again. 

You watched him attentively, beaming from ear to ear, taking in his beautiful smile and soft voice, and familiar heady cologne. And you thought to yourself, There’s nothing to dislike about this guy. 

[sepublic]

I cannot imagine being Camila Noceda because so much of her arc starts around her being scared for her child, wanting her to do well and succeed and being afraid she’ll get hurt. And then right under her nose, her daughter has disappeared on some adventure in another world but at least she seems fine, right?

But you still let yourself break and you end up saying things you might regret. And then it’s only when you begin to worry about her that she comes back and she is scarred. She’s hurt. There’s a cut on her eyebrow and you realize it will never heal. It always reminds you of how you weren’t there for her, you couldn’t protect your daughter from those who hurt her, and if you’d been enough for Luz then maybe she wouldn’t have needed to come to the isles to begin with and be injured. You see how she’s begun to loathe and hate herself, because of things and people entirely outside of her control, and you couldn’t have been there to comfort her when she needed it. So now it’s built up for Luz into this horrific trauma that she hasn’t even yet begun to unpack.

Camila is stronger than everyone because if I’d seen my kid come back like that, I’d have broken apart asking what happened, are you okay, etc. But instead she remains strong because she can see that Luz and her kids are scared and they really need an adult who can be strong for them. Camila probably thought about what happened in Yesterday’s Lie afterwards, and come to regret her outburst; She must’ve guessed how it hurt Luz and made her feel terrible and alas she was right! So she vowed not to make that same mistake again and be even stronger next time, and she was!!!

But man that must’ve been so scary and helpless and painful, seeing what happened under your watch. Being unable to provide a fix in getting her back home, so of course Camila goes along to the Demon Realm once she gets that opportunity, because this all started because she wasn’t there for her daughter when she needed her most. Of course she supports her in coming out, as well as in staying in the isles; She won't blame Eda for giving Luz what she wanted and needed, as Eda herself couldn't be a hypocrite by telling Luz to stay with her mom. Camila won’t let Luz face this stuff alone like last time, not when she knows and Luz feels better about trusting her (or had to, anyway) and it’s what saves Luz!!! Because when Luz relapses after failing against Kikimora, it’s Camila who’s there to pick her back up and tell her everything she needs, which leads to Luz’s palisman String Bean finally emerging!!!

But then Luz dies and just. That scar must’ve reminded Camila that she wasn’t there to protect her daughter from anyone that might hurt her. And despite helping a little against Kikimora, it still happened again. Permanently. Man I wish Camila had a “GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BITCH” moment to get back at Belos for all she did her to child. But Camila had to keep going because after Yesterday’s Lie, she knew she still had other kids to look after. She was strong for Vee during Yesterday’s Lie, only to let herself drop right afterwards in front of Luz. But not again. No time for self pity, you just have to move on after a death and keep living, just as you did with Manny. And in the end, Luz IS all right, and she’s better than she’s ever been and there’s some huge relief.

Just augh Camila Noceda. Luz went on an isekai adventure, but maybe so did her mother? And I don’t mean with the Boiling Isles, I mean with the U.S. Camila might have been an immigrant, and not just the child/descendant of one. And even if she wasn’t, she still moved to Gravesfield. So in general so much of her life has been about going to another world and trying to survive and feel comfortable in it. As it was for Luz, too; But they survived along the way and found what fellow “weirdoes” they could, with Camila meeting Manny, who could’ve also related to her as a fellow Dominican American. And now she’s found others who can relate to Camila in other ways, as Manny also related to her as a huge nerd.

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Hiii! I hope requests are still open but if they are can I request a reader who's a really smooth flirter (with physical touch as a love language) who can pull basically anyone and constantly has people simping after them? Like how would their s/o react/feel about the simps? And how would they react to the flirty comments and behavior that's constantly directed their way? I know this request might be a lot but if you can throw the reader having really fluffy hair that they love to play with in there as well that would be great and I would adore you.

Gender Neutral reader, pretty please.

I almost forgot to mention, but this request is for Vil, Idia, Azul, Leona and Malleus.

Thanks for reading this, I appreciate you taking your time to look at this let alone write it.

I adore your writing and wish you well.

Azul Ashengrotto:

Azul is naturally more wary of you and your silver tongue, needing time to build up enough trust that you weren’t just playing with him. He knows your abilities and the people who worship the ground you walk on. While they’re blinding by your smiling face he can sign them on for the deal of a lifetime; it was a great idea to add you as another business partner. You reminded him frequently that it’s not all business, and you expected proper romance from time to time.

Idia Shroud:

Idia, who already had no idea what you saw in him, is not comfortable with how many people want you. He knew it wasn’t entirely your fault, you couldn’t help you were the most beautiful being who graced NRC, but it fills him with irritation to hear day in and out the way people talk about you. You’re more than just your looks, with a heart so good you even gave a shut-in like him a chance, and he thinks the shallow people around you should make themselves non-existent. You know he dislikes the attention and turn away anyone who tried to take it away from him, showing he had your complete heart and soul.

Leona Kingscholar:

Leona thinks the people who pathetically throw themselves at your feet need to get a hobby, and that they’re fools for thinking that would win you over. They have good enough taste, something he can admit as he’s rather fond of you, but they give in to you far too easily. He mostly allows you to deal with your admirers as you see fit, and as long as you’re not indulging their fantasies he doesn’t mind if you do so kindly. He doesn’t think the herbivores deserve a kind word, but he knew better than to overstep.

Malleus Draconia:

Malleus mostly ignored your rabid admirers, thinking it was interesting to see how people with no dignity acted when they saw a prize they could never afford. He was curious how you felt about it, wondering if it was the attention you enjoyed or if you found it more annoying than anything. He listened to your words carefully and took them to heart, knowing if you disliked the attention he would simply have to do something about it. People feared him for good reason and he never played around when it came to your happiness, something he would make clear even if you were too kind to tell these admirers yourself.

Vil Schoenheit:

Vil received plenty of attention himself, so it would be hypocritical to be that annoyed or jealous at you getting the same kind of attention. He really didn’t mind it as you were quite stunning and it made you a glowing power couple, the ire of so many others who could never hope to achieve a relationship like yours. There are clear boundaries that you’ve set with each other when you first started dating, perhaps requiring some negotiation as a little flirting was necessary in a job like his but there were never genuine attempts at affection. You still came home to each other and if there was ever an interaction that needed to be discussed it would be, as you had enough trust in each other to be completely honest.

[midnight-pluto]

COMPARISON — scar

You know Scar, and you know why he’s so obsessed with this ‘Rover’ character — he’s told you why, but why does it still hurt watching him act as if he was a lovesick puppy to them?

contains: established relationship, the relationship is lowk toxic, jealousy, insecurity, rovers gender is left ambiguous, canon-ish, swearing, angst, short fic

a/n: scar is so pretty omg; also the lack of scar x reader content is CRIMINAL

‘IT’S JUST FOR the mission, it’s just for the mission,’ is what you kept on repeatedly telling yourself in your mind, but it really doesn’t look like it from your side.

You can tell that this ‘Rover’ is prone to noticing the little things and figuring out everything with just one piece of the puzzle, so you decide that it’s best to keep your distance from the matter at hand occurring in the village.

The conversation they were both having was being played clearly in your ear — a hidden microphone on Scar’s waist, his idea, not yours. He offered up this idea as a way to assure you nothing special was happening, but you wish you would’ve never accepted it in the first place.

Hearing the words Scar say would’ve been sweet, if only they were directed towards you. You weren’t dumb, you could hear the flirtatious undertone in his voice as he spoke to them.

Swallowing thickly, you take a look at the picture given to you previously as to what Rover’s appearance was like; suddenly Scar’s words made more sense in your head.

Their dark hair was disheveled but still managed to look effortlessly good on them; did Scar ever think of you that way whenever he saw you get out of bed? Their clothes complimenting their natural appearance beautifully; did the red and white of your clothes really suit you?

It took you years to achieve what you have with Scar now, but Rover was able to see and receive genuine interest from Scar in just a matter of moments.

Just listening in on their conversation felt like you were the one interrupting something, like you were third-wheeling your own boyfriend, as if you were a side piece in your own relationship.

Embarrassing.

“Huh?” you audibly let out, tapping your earpiece with your gloved finger multiple times. Only the sound of static could be heard. “Shit.”

Scrambling for your binoculars in your messenger bag, you shuffle them out and life them to your eyes to see what has occurred in the village below. Narrowing your eyes, you see that Rover had skillfully disabled the microphone on Scar’s waist with their blade.

“Of course,” you scoff out, dropping your binoculars back in your bag and proceeding to walk away from the scene.

Your terminal beeps and lights up and you pause, seeing that Phrolova had called you. “Leaving so soon?”

Huffing out a sigh at her words, “I see no point in staying.”

Humming in thought for a moment, she merely says, “Alright, go on then.”

The soil beneath your feet crunches underneath you with droplets wetting them at the same time; the sky is clear today.

SCAR’S EYES WIDENED at the sound of the mic clattering onto the ground, falling from his waist. “Well, aren’t you good? I thought you wouldn’t notice it so soon.”

“And I thought you said you didn’t want anybody else intruding on our conversation, seems kind of hypocritical to have a microphone attached at your hip,” they taunt.

“Perhaps,” he shrugs, burying down the feeling in his stomach. “But they too, were special to me, I just wanted to share a conversation with two very special people, and what’s the matter with that?”

“So they’re special to you?” they raised a brow, suddenly interested in the newfound topic raised.

Scar laughed at their attempt to get him to reveal information about himself, but he would never put you in jeopardy like that — never in a thousand years. “Did I say that?

“Well, it’s not like you’ll ever get to find out any time soon,” he stomps on the already broken microphone, smashing it to pieces.

Rover simply rolled their eyes, “Just give me back Yanyang so we can be done with already, I’m bored of your story.”

“And here I thought that we already established,” Scar took a few strides forward, “That you aren’t in the position to bargain.”

Unbeknownst to Scar, you had left your earpiece in, the sound of static becoming wonderful white noise to you. The unfortunate part was that you could only hear a few bits and pieces of their conversation out of context.

“…were special—“ were? What does he mean by that? Why is he using past tense? Is he saying that to fuck with them or because he thinks you can’t hear him anymore? Or are you just reading to far into it?

“..two very special people—“ it should only be one, shouldn’t there? Is he saying that Rover’s already as important — if not more important than you?

Harshly taking out your earpiece, you throw it into the dirt. Unable to let out a frustrated scream you let your anger out through crushing the earpiece under your foot.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you glare back down at the shattered earpiece beside you. Rubbing the corners of your eyes, you begin to walk away, “The white noise wasn’t even that good anyways.”

a/n: not my best work — obviously — since i wrote this in an hour, on my phone, with fake nails. but i was feeling like shit so i dumped it all here, sorry kinda sorry

[maxineryx]

part 2 of this fic | wc: 2.2k

It has been two months since you received that letter from Gojo.

It has been a month and three weeks since you went on a date with Gojo.

It has been one week and three days since you started dating Gojo. Well, Satoru.

Yes, you’ve been counting. And yes, you have kept a very, very, close eye on him since the day you both were official.

When you met up with him at the back of the school, you spotted him leaning against a wall, his phone in one hand as he peered down at it. He was dressed informally, how he always was, with very darkly tinted glasses that covered his blue eyes. You weren’t sure why he wore them, but you thought he looked great nevertheless.

And as if he had spotted your presence from behind him, he turned, putting his hand up and flashing you a smile. You blushed in response, glad that it was at least somewhat dark and that he was unable to see the redness that coated your cheeks (he did, he was a master in spotting out these things).

“Hey! Glad you came, thought you’d never show up.” He chirped, patting down his wrinkled clothes, shooting you with a calm, toothy smile. You were surprised your knees didn’t give in right at that moment. In reply, you smiled back and nodded, dropping your bag on the floor and leaning on the wall a couple of metres away from him, staring down at your feet.

In the corner of your eye, you noticed him staring at you, his wide, crystal-like blue eyes slightly visible through his darkly tinted glasses. Gojo then pulled out his phone when he heard a notification, the gentle sounds of his fingertips against the device being the only thing breaking the silence. You realised how the dim light from a nearby lamp managed to brighten up his already snow-white hair, causing it to sparkle a little, and you found yourself to realise that everything about him was so… majestic, as if he was written to be a perfect human being. And the more you stared, the more captivated you were.

He tilted his head and chuckled. “Like what you see?” He fiddled with his pockets as he pushed his phone into them, looking up at you with a smug look.

You cursed internally for staring too long.

Upon noticing his overconfident look, you cleared your throat and instantly wondered when you got the sudden confidence to even dare to look him in the eyes. “Let me remind you that I received a letter from you. I still want to know why I’m here, so will you tell me or not?” You weren’t meaning to come off as rude, as your tone had implied, but you were simply nervous that you were another one of his ‘victims’ as those hypocritical girls would say (hypocritical, because they’d always drool over seeing him despite saying these things).

You were surprised when he showed you another smile.

Gojo suddenly pushed himself off the wall and walked over to you, swiftly slamming a hand on the wall next to your head. Your eyes widened as you looked up at him, swallowing your saliva and feeling an overwhelming amount of nervousness. He made sure that, if you wished, you’d be able to set yourself free, but after giving you a couple of good seconds and realising you weren’t going to, you could say that it pumped up his ego a ton.

He angled his head down so that you could see his bright eyes, staring at you intensely. “Didn’t you read the letter?”

You leaned your head against the wall, averting your gaze, feeling embarrassed by how easily you were to fluster, knowing your face was about ten shades of red. “W-well… I did–”

Gojo leaned closer, his gentle breaths fanning your skin. You could spot out all the hues and patterns stretched across his irises like an endless sea of sparkling blues. “Oh really? Then wha-”

“Oi, you two!”

A bright light was forced upon you two causing you to wince. Gojo frowned and pulled his glasses up with his index finger, bringing his hand up to block the blinding light. His other hand was still next to your head, and even when the person holding the light was revealed to be an older teacher, Gojo didn’t budge. He scoffed, and you lifted your head, instantly looking away as the teacher’s rather disgusted gaze landed on you.

“What do you think you’re doing? The school’s been shut and you’re expected to be gone! W-wait!” His demands were cut off as soon as Gojo grabbed your hand and swiftly maneuvered around the old man, hauling your bag over his shoulder, heading towards the closed gate, the man hot on your heels.

“Gojo!” You yelled as you pressed yourself against the gate, unsure of where to go. He winked at you, bending at the knees before you felt yourself being picked up, his muscular arms wrapping around your legs. You knew he was strong, from what you heard, but not that strong. Letting out a yelp as you instinctively clutched the top of the gate and pulled yourself up with his help, you got over the gate and stumbled slightly when meeting the other side. You watched keenly yet slightly concerned as he hoisted himself upwards, muscles flexing through his sleeves. He laughed at the now furious old man, snatching your wrist and sticking his tongue out before disappearing round the corner together with you.

You panted frantically as you fought to catch your breath, hands on your knees as soon as Gojo let go of your wrist. Looking up at him, you frowned when he was already peering down at you with a grin playing on his lips, and you stood up straight, looking at him. “Well done, now we’re in trouble.”

“Don’t worry. They rarely bring any notice to it.” He spoke smugly, looking up, his blue orbs reflecting the stars that were scattered along the dark sky.

“And how do you know?”

“I just do. I’m an expert in everything, sweetheart.”

The pet name rolled off his tongue so smoothly that it took you a while to process what he said. You blushed when you came to the realisation, covering your burning face with your hands.

A couple of seconds later, you heard the soft sound of footsteps, opening your eyes to see him slowly walk away, your bag still hoisted over his shoulder.

“Where are you going?” You asked, hating the way your tone suggested that you were disappointed, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t.

Gojo didn’t turn around. “I’m going to walk you home.”

He missed the way you smiled at his words as his back was facing you. You stood still, chuckling to yourself, then calling out to him. “Do you even know where I live?”

There was a long silence, only the sound of passing cars somewhere far away and his footsteps echoing through the street. He then stopped and turned his head only, pointing to you with a cocky smile, one eyebrow raised.

“Nah. But you’ll show me.”

You put your hands on your hips as he continued to walk, white hair blowing in the gentle breeze. “That’s the wrong way, genius.”

He instantly turned on his heels and made his way towards you, shrugging off the temporary embarrassment. “Pffff, of course I knew. I just wanted to see if you cared.”

You shook your head and rolled your eyes, walking off in the other direction, Gojo catching up to you, and the rest of the walk was spent laughing, flirting, and him annoying you.

When you got home, just when you were about to thank him for the rather… interesting night, you could tell that something was on his mind. And despite knowing him for only such a short time, from what you experienced, you knew that something must have happened if he was doing anything but running his mouth (saying this most politely).

He then suddenly clasped your hands gently together with his.

“Listen, this might seem like it’s all outta the blue.” He started, looking at you solemnly, brows pulled tightly into a frown. “But I like you. Everyone says that I’m a player and all that bullshit– but I promise that when I say I like you, I mean it. I think you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen. You’re kind– easy to be flustered– and it makes me want to know you better. So go out on a date with me, please?” He pulled his glasses down with his index finger and batted his eyelashes. “You’re not allowed to decline.”

He rendered you speechless.

You nodded after a hot while, heart hammering in your chest so loudly that you were scared he’d be able to hear.

He smirked, handing your bag over to you. Then, stepping back, winking, he lifted his hand, the brightest smile on his face. “Cya later then, pretty girl.”

And that’s how you ended up going on a date with the ever-so-popular Gojo Satoru just a week later.

Thinking back at it, you still didn’t know where you got the confidence from. Most people saw you as shy and antisocial– but with Satoru, you found out that it wasn’t just him you were finding new things about, but also yourself.

You came back to the present when a hand was shaking rapidly before your eyes, causing you to jolt backward.

A pair of blue eyes entered your view, a hint of mischief in them, causing you to frown.

“Daydreaming about me, sweetheart?” He spoke arrogantly, fluttering his eyelashes as he rested his head on his arms that were folded in an ‘x’ shape, the quiet voice of a teacher speaking in the background.

You scoffed, however a faint blush gave you away as he hit the jackpot. “You wish.”

It has been one week and three days since you started dating Satoru.

Yes, you’ve been counting. And yes, you have kept a very, very, close eye on him since the day you both were official.

On the first day, you voiced your concerns to him about the other girls and how they’d react if they ever found out that someone like you managed to catch his eyes. You were also scared that they’d feed you fake lies surrounding him– and he was too. Therefore, you proposed that it’d be more logical if it was a secret, and that only a couple close friends were allowed to know. Of course, he wasn’t thrilled with said idea, wanting to show you off, but also insisting that he’d beat up anyone that dared to hurt your feelings. You said that he had only two options: to be with you, but in secret, or not to be with you at all. He whined and agreed unhappily to the first.

Despite it being secret, you were outright surprised to see the sudden change in his attitude towards other people.

For example, instead of taking all of the numbers that other girls passed to him, he quite rudely declined and said loudly, and proudly, “I’m not available.”

So obviously, another rumor started, and it pained you to hear everything they said about him, like how another girl fell into his trap, how he was going to use her, only to throw her away a couple of weeks later. However, upon hearing this, he was quick to envelop you in his arms and reassure you that everything said was false, whispering sweet things into your ear.

A couple of days ago, you also complained to him about how you rarely got to see his beautiful eyes, and that you were close to forgetting what colour they were. He gasped dramatically, immediately taking off his glasses, and pointing to the orbs that were swirling with blue. “I’m such a monster! How could I neglect my darling’s needs?” From that day he never attempted to put on his glasses whenever he was in your company.

Then yesterday, you happened to have a class with his best friend, Geto Suguru. You talked to him a couple of times before that, but after having a conversation with him about Satoru, you realised that he was way more mature than your childish boyfriend.

“He never shuts up about you– in the most polite way,” Geto spoke with a huff and a roll of his eyes, writing a couple of notes down in his book as the teacher spoke. You laughed in reply, turning your head to look at the words written on the board, ignoring the way your heart hammered in your chest at what he just said. Satoru’s mature friend noticed the furious blush creeping up on your face, yet he chose to stay silent about it, smiling, happy that his friend had finally found someone who returned his feelings.

And then tomorrow, Satoru kisses you feverishly behind the school where you two first talked, with his fingers holding your chin, pressing you gently against the wall until the sky got dark and covered with stars, before getting chased by the same old and angry teacher.

-------------------------------------------------

A/N : A lot of people asked me so I have delivered. I planned on making this longer, then started panicking because I actually have no idea what to write. Either way, I think this turned out pretty well. Thank you all for the support :)

Taglist : @ichigostrawberry15 @i-am-silver @maybe-a-bi-witch @edenofeve @luciledreamz @danithefanficenthusiast @vampsins @pyschopotatomeme @wordskeeper @icy9 @tobaccosunbxrst @hoothootreiber @strangehuman101 @vlrspace

There were others I was unable to tag, please forgive me!

[corroded-hellfire]

As You Wish - Eddie Munson x Reader, Part 2

This was a collaboration with my dearest @munson-blurbs 💚

Summary: After you and Eddie have given into your feelings for one another, complications arise that were never part of your fantasies.

Note from Red: The love I received for part one of this story blew me away. I absolutely could not believe it. It was a labor of love and the fact that so many of you wanted more just made it even better. Thank you all for your love and kind messages. Feel free to keep requesting stories from this universe 💕

Note from Bug: I’m so grateful that Red allowed me to collaborate with her on this amazing series. I hope you all enjoy!

Warnings: smut, p in v, unprotected (wrap it up), infidelity, age gap (reader is 20, Eddie is 32)

Words: 7k

Part One | All stories in this verse

“Fuck, Eddie!”

You’re in the back of his car—correction, Brittany’s car, since she’d told him to bring it to the shop and fix a busted taillight. If it was anyone else, you would’ve assumed she’d asked him, but with Brittany, you knew it was a demand. You straddle Eddie’s waist, his grease-smudged coveralls and plaid boxers shucked down to his ankles; your skirt is pushed up to your hips, panties somewhere on the floor. Eddie had practically ripped them off once you two were alone. 

Eddie’s lunch break happened to coincide with the end of your classes for the day, so you’d happily gone to visit him at work. When his eyes first landed on you and dipped down to your skirt, you knew what you were going to spend the hour doing. 

It had been two weeks since the night you first slept together, and it was the happiest two weeks you could ever remember having. Of course, the kids didn’t know what was going on, so it was important to both of you to keep up the façade of your usual relationship in front of the boys. Since Brittany came home from work shortly after Eddie, that didn’t give the two of you any time alone without the boys around. That meant there were stolen kisses, longing looks, or lingering touches when the boys weren’t paying attention. Brittany knew, obviously. She knew from that first night when she’d come out of the master bedroom and practically threw your jeans in your face and all you did was wink at her. What could she say, though? Nothing that wouldn’t make her a hypocrite along with an adulteress and pathological liar. 

Eddie’s thrusting up into you now, pinning your hips down so he can get impossibly deep inside you. “Holy shit, sweetheart,” he pants, sucking a harsh bruise into your chest. “Keep sayin’ my name like that and you’ll make me blow my load.”

“Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,” you moan; half teasing him and half because he just feels so damn good. You bounce on his cock, matching his rhythm. He’s already given you two orgasms, and you’re approaching your third. His thick finger makes its way to your clit, rubbing quick circles over it, and you cry out at the overstimulation. “P-Please, Eddie; can’t take much more.” 

“You’ll—fuck—take whatever I give you,” he orders through gritted teeth, but his eyes tell you that he doesn’t want to hurt you. You dig your nails into his shoulders, bracing yourself for him to quicken his pace so he can finish. 

“Eddie,” you moan out again—and he wasn’t lying before. The sound of you saying his name again has his hips snapping up against yours, and the feeling of his cock twitching against your walls lets you know he’s about to come. His finger keeping a strong pressure on your clit, you bury your face in his neck as you feel your orgasm start to wash over you. “Fuck, I’m coming.”

It’s all Eddie needs to hear before he’s spilling inside of you, hips stuttering against your own as he works you both through the pleasure. You press kisses against the side of Eddie’s neck as you start to come down from your high, smiling against his sweaty skin. His hands loosen their grip on your hips, and instead of the bruising pressure he now rubs his fingers up your sides. 

“Y’with me, baby?” He smiles, kissing you again. This time, his touch is tender and loving, a stark contrast to his animalistic hunger just moments earlier. “God, you’re so beautiful when you come for me. You’re always beautiful, but, I mean, damn.” He licks his lips, making you giggle. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world to be with you, I swear.”

“Funny,” you say, resting your head against his shoulder. “I lay in bed at night thinking about how I’m the luckiest girl in the world. After I make myself come while thinking of you, that is.”

“Of course,” Eddie says with a chuckle. “Not gonna need to do that tonight, huh? Did I wear you out, pretty girl?” His calloused hands against your soft skin have goosebumps breaking out along your flesh. 

“Yes,” you say, body still thrumming from the three orgasms. Picking your head up from his shoulder, you give him a sly smile. “Not bad for an old man.”

“Old man?!” he sputters, faking offense. “Baby doll, I’m 32 years young.” You stick your tongue out at him, reveling in the giddiness that being with him brings, and he leans over and licks your nose. 

“Ew!” You can’t stop laughing, making it nearly impossible to kiss him like you want. “You boys never grow up, huh?”

Eddie flashes you a shit-eating grin. “Nope!” He smacks your ass and helps you readjust your skirt. “C’mon, we can split a sandwich for lunch. Bet my girl worked up an appetite.” He winks at you, and your stomach flutters at the words my girl. There’s a pang of disappointment with it, too, because you’re not really his girl. If you were, you wouldn’t be relegated to fucking in secrecy. 

“Um, Eddie?” you murmur as he starts to open the door. “I’m, um, missing something.” When he looks at you with a puzzled expression, you whisper, “have you seen my panties?”

“Oh, shit,” he says, hand abandoning the door handle. He helps you look around the floor of the car, barking out a laugh when neither of you finds them. “What the hell?”

“How did they just disappear?” you ask, brow pinched in concern. Standing up as much as you can in the cramped space, you lean into the front seat to look. Eddie glances up and abandons the search when he gets a look at your pussy, his cum still leaking out.

“Fuck, what a view,” he muses. Looking over your shoulder at him, you roll your eyes and plop back down in the seat next to him. You swat him on the chest, and he catches your wrist, leaning in to press kisses to the side of your face as he laughs. “Think you’re gonna have to go home and get a new pair before you pick the boys up from school. And maybe some pants instead of that skirt, too. Unless you want me pulling you into my room and telling the boys I have to have a nice, long talk with you.”

“Hmm,” you grin, biting your lower lip. “It would be nice to have sex in a bed instead of the backseat of a car.” Of her car, nonetheless. 

Eddie laces his fingers through yours and pulls you towards his chest. “How about,” he starts, leaning his head on the headrest, “I get us a hotel room one of these days. We stay up all night, sleep in real late, and then order room service for breakfast in bed.”

“That sounds incredible,” you agree, bringing your lips to the back of his hand. “When can this little vacation happen?”

“This weekend?” he suggests, but the light in his eyes dims as quickly as it appears. “Shit, wait. I told Brittany I’d wait at home for the plumber while she…does whatever the fuck, with whoever the fuck.”

Brittany. Brittany Brittany Brittany. You want to feel sympathy for him, but you just can’t. A scream lingers in your throat, but you swallow it down. “No, I get it.” But you don’t. You don’t understand how he can have someone who cares about him, who loves him, right in front of him, and continue to stay with the woman who breaks his heart time and time again. 

“Rain check, baby? I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He gives you those puppy dog eyes that you’re pretty sure could have him getting away with murder. You hate that it works on you so well, but it does. 

“Guess since you just gave me three orgasms, I’ll say okay.” Even if you don’t want to. But for now, you’ll let it go. “Now, where’s that sandwich?”

The rain outside provides a calming sound as you’re curled up on the Munson couch, Ryan tucked into your side as he reads to you from his favorite book. He’s so proud that he got an A on his spelling test today and his excitement is contagious. So, when he asked if you wanted to know what his favorite book was about, of course you’d said yes. Or rather, his favorite book this week.

“When the puppy ran down the street, the little boy chased him,” Ryan reads to you. Luke is sitting on the carpet near your feet, tongue poked out in concentration as he fashions his Legos together to make, what you assume, is supposed to be a fire truck. 

The doorknob rattles and your stomach jumps for joy as Eddie makes his way inside. He shakes his hair out like a dog coming out of the bath, and it makes both the boys giggle. You just watch him adoringly and he shoots a wink your way when he notices. 

“My boys!” He holds his arms out wide, and Luke and Ryan bolt over and give him a giant hug. “How were our little rascals tonight, baby—uh, babysitter?” His cheeks flush red as he realizes his slip-up; luckily, the boys don’t seem to notice. 

You clear your throat. “Just the absolute worst,” you joke, watching their little jaws drop at your response. “Destroyed the house, yelled and screamed the whole time, and refused to do any of their homework.” You hold out your hand, keeping a straight face. “Just pay me and consider this my resignation.”

“My angels would never!” Eddie gasps, flinging his arms around your torso and pulling your back to his chest. “Boys, don’t let her leave!” Ryan and Luke cackle with laughter, each grabbing one of your legs and clinging on for dear life. 

“I’m under attack!” You unsuccessfully try to shake the kids off, inadvertently pressing your ass to Eddie’s groin. You’d put on a new pair of panties after your lunchtime tryst, but you kept the same skirt. 

Luke grips tighter, his hands now on your thigh. “Hey, Gollum,” Eddie says to him, breaking character for a second, “watch where you’re putting your grubby paws.” Luke nods and brings his hands back towards your knee. 

“Thanks,” you whisper to Eddie, your voice barely audible. 

“Gotta look out for my girl,” he murmurs in your ear, and you freeze at the pet name. The words sound so lovely coming out of his mouth, directed towards you. But there’s still this little voice in the back of your head telling you that it’s not true. And for once, that voice is right. 

“Okay, okay,” you say, looking down at the boys. “You got me! I’ll stay!” Ryan and Luke release you, cheers of their victory being shouted as they dance around you. Eddie’s grip loosens on you, and you step out of his arms, crouching down to be at the same level as the boys. “Homework done?” You look at them and they both nod their heads. “Baths?” They both give you sheepish looks and you’ve gotten your answer. “Why don’t you go take your baths now? That way after dinner you can play a game with daddy?” The boys both give their dad excited looks before they slip down the hall and towards the bathroom. 

“Volunteering me to play games, huh?” Eddie asks, snaking his arms around your hips once the bathroom door can be heard closing. He pulls his body against yours and your nose wrinkles up when you see all the dirt and oil on his blue coveralls. 

“You need to take that thing off,” you say. Immediately, there’s a spark in Eddie’s eyes and a smile’s already on your face before he’s done anything. But you know the crazy tactics his mind comes up with, so you’re curious. 

“Take it off, huh?” Eddie says, taking a few steps back from you. His hand goes to his zipper, and he starts to pull it down at a glacial pace. “This would be better if I had some music.”

“Should I put on Madonna? Or maybe Billy Joel?” you tease. His eyes narrow at you as he gets the coveralls down his shoulders. Once his arms slip out, you have to admit that this pseudo-striptease is working for you. Eddie recognizes he’s got you now, and he starts to swing his hips back and forth, which just makes you burst out into giggles.

“What?” he asks, body never pausing in its movements. 

“Babe, you know I adore you. You’re handsome, you’re kind, you’re hilarious, a great dad. But you can’t dance.” The laughter spilling out of you has Eddie joining in as well. “It was hot until then.”

“Fine,” he says as he stills his hips. “I’ll just take my clothes off for you then.” You raise your eyebrows and cross your arms over your chest, ready to watch the show unfold in front of you. It’s hard for him to find a sexy way to step out of the coveralls, so he just kicks them off and to the side. When he takes his t-shirt off, he steps forward towards you, rolling the shirt until it looks like a long piece of rope. He brings it to the small of your back and uses it to pull your body up against his. 

He smirks down at you and you’re just about to lean in for a kiss when the front door opens. Both you and Eddie turn to look and see Brittany coming in. She slips a raincoat off and hangs it on a peg near the door. When she turns, she freezes as she eyes the two of you. Eddie shirtless, you pressed flush up against him. 

“Please tell me the boys aren’t seeing this bullshit?” she asks, as if she suddenly has an interest in the well-being of her children. 

“No,” Eddie huffs at her. “They’re taking a bath.”

Her cold eyes scan you up and down before she scoffs and makes her way back towards the master bedroom.

“So, uh,” you back away, letting your gaze drop to the ground, “mood officially ruined.”

“Yeah,” Eddie sighs, running a hand through his curls. “I’m sorry; you should get going.” He picks up the discarded coveralls and digs into his pocket for his wallet, handing you a twenty. 

You nod and accept the money, cheeks burning with embarrassment. What, were you expecting an invitation to dinner after his wife just caught you about to suck face? “See you tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow,” he affirms. His expression seems lost, though you can’t quite pinpoint it exactly. You wonder if he feels the same heartbreak as you. 

Eddie walks you to the door, giving you one last kiss before you go. It’s soft and sweet, but there’s something tainting it. After Eddie closes the door behind you and locks it for the night, he starts on dinner. The meal goes surprisingly well for an evening in the Munson household. There’s no shouting, no arguing, and Brittany even asked Luke about school. The little boy was clearly shocked but proceeded to tell her about the hamster someone brought for show and tell today. Tucking the boys into bed was suddenly a team effort, more than Brittany’s usual quick kiss on the cheek before practically shoving them into their rooms. 

Once they’re both in bed, Eddie grabs a towel and heads into the bathroom for a shower. He closes the door and turns the water almost as hot as it can go. He steps in and does his usual routine. Quick rinse of the body, grab the soap and suds up, then grabs his dick in his hand and starts to think about you. 

The way you showed up at the shop in that little skirt, begging to be touched. The way your tight pussy clenched around his cock as you rode him. The way you said his name over and over like a prayer—dammit, Madonna was right. He lets out a terse laugh, making a mental note to tell you tomorrow. 

“Y’like that, baby?” Eddie groans softly, tugging on his hardening length. “Like the way I fill up all your holes, hm? Gonna take it all for me, my good girl?” He imagines you on your knees in front of him, obediently swirling your perfect tongue around his sensitive head as he fucks your face. “What’s that, sweetheart? You want it in your mouth? God, you’re so fuckin’ good to me.”

He stops for a second, practically edging himself, before running his slick palm over his shaft again. “But I really need your pussy tonight, baby. Need that tight, wet, perfect pussy. Jus’ like that, fuck.” He’s got a mental image of you bent over, leaning on the hood of a cherry red convertible, that damned skirt pushed up as he pistons into you from behind. “Yes, yes, oh, fuck YES!” Thick, hot ropes of cum spill into his hand and onto the shower tile as Eddie moans your name out louder than he intended. He freezes as the bathroom door swings open. There’s a pause, then a few footsteps closer to the shower, then the door closes.

“If you’re gonna fantasize about the kids’ babysitter, at least don’t let them hear. Can’t have them growing up and acting like you.”

Eddie’s jaw clenches and he lets his softening cock fall from his hand. He tries so hard to let the things she says roll off his back, but sometimes he just can’t help it. “Acting like me, huh?” He rinses his hand off and wipes his cum from the shower wall. “You mean, working hard trying to support my family?” He snatches his shampoo bottle up and squeezes some into his palm. “Wanting to spend every free second with my kids? Yeah, what a shame that would be.” Eddie scrubs the shampoo into his hair, fingers massaging his scalp as he works the citrus scented foam through his locks.

“No, I mean the part where you seem to think you’re in some porno film, fulfilling some sick fantasy. You realize she’s a kid, right?”

“She’s not a fucking kid,” Eddie snaps, pulling the shower curtain back just enough to glare at Brittany. “Can I finish my shower in peace, please?”

Brittany shrugs, holding her hands up in front of her. “You’re the one who sounded like you wanted some company in here.”

“Oh, fuck off,” he mutters under his breath, staying quiet for the boys’ sake, not hers. 

Coming home from work has always been Eddie’s favorite part of the day. How could it not be when he knows he gets to see you and his kids when he gets there? But ever since you and Eddie got together—if you could even call it that—he loved coming home even more. He couldn’t tell you the last time he came home from work to be greeted by Brittany, happy to see him. It’s been at least two years. 

But that’s exactly what happens when Eddie gets home today. His heart plummets when instead of your gold car in the driveway Eddie sees the red one that he just fucked you in the other day. Begrudgingly, he steps inside the house, ready to focus on his boys and only his boys. Eddie is in for the shock of his life though, when Brittany flounces up to him and presses a kiss to his lips. When was the last time that happened? 

“Hi, honey,” Brittany says in a sickeningly sweet voice. The smile on her face is a mask, Eddie knows. She’s been lying to him for long enough that he’s able to tell. 

“Um, hi,” Eddie says, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What are you doing home so early?”

“Thought I’d start the weekend a little early with my boys.” She takes the keys from Eddie’s hand and puts them on the table in the hall next to hers before slipping her hand into his. Eddie’s becoming more and more confused by the second. “Why don’t you get washed up and we all go out for dinner?”

“Uh, I’m kind of tired,” Eddie says, which isn’t a lie. But mostly he just doesn’t want to go out with her. “Do you mind if we just stay in? We can order takeout?”

“Whatever my husband wants,” Brittany says, a fake smile plastered on her face as she tugs Eddie along behind her. “Now, you go get cleaned up and I’ll finish up helping the boys with their homework.” Indeed, as Eddie walks past the kitchen to get to his bedroom, the boys are both at the table, pencils scratching away on paper. 

Luke and Ryan tell their parents about their days while the family sits around the table, devouring Chinese food. It’s what Eddie’s always wanted–family dinners, sharing stories–except something still doesn’t feel right.

“And then Tyler kicked the ball, and it hit Jimmy right in the stomach!” Ryan exclaims, eyes wide as he relays the events of recess. “Jimmy almost threw up his lunch, and we had macaroni and cheese today, so that would’ve been nasty.”

“Super nasty,” Luke echoes, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

“That’s nice, honey,” Brittany responds absently, spearing a piece of sesame chicken with a plastic fork. “Glad you had fun at school.”

Eddie catches the confused look on his eldest son’s face. “I think Mommy means that the whole thing sounded exciting.” He’s not entirely sure why he’s trying to cover for his wife, but it seems to placate the situation for now.

After everyone is full, Brittany cleans up while Eddie gets the boys ready for bed. After their usual routine, including an extra two bedtime stories, they finally fall asleep. Eddie kisses each of their foreheads, silent apologies for their mother’s behavior at dinner.

All he wants to do is go to bed, get a good night’s sleep–maybe dream about you–but Brittany’s waiting in their room in a black lace teddy. It’s been a long time since they’ve had sex, so he’s understandably caught off-guard.

“Hi, baby,” she coos, dragging a painted fingernail down his chest. “Wanna have a little fun tonight?” She presses her body against him, and Eddie could kick himself for involuntarily starting to get hard. “I’ll take that as a yes.” She brings her lips to his neck, smearing her lipstick on his collarbones.

“N-Not now,” Eddie stammers out, frozen in place.

“C’mon,” she protests, grabbing his erection and making him hiss at the sensation. “I know you want another baby. Why don’t we get started tonight?” She nibbles at his earlobe, whispering, “want you to get me pregnant, Eddie.”

Eddie pulls back before she can fully draw him in. She’s so familiar; it would be too easy to fall into bed with her and pretend like nothing’s wrong. Just the average married couple making love on a Friday night. But he can’t do it anymore. “No, Britt. I…I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Brittany’s sensual expression quickly turns to anger. “Seriously?” She crosses her arms over her chest. “You’ll fuck the babysitter, but not your wife?” 

“Can you stop calling her the babysitter?” Eddie retorts. “She has a name.”

“Yeah, I know; I heard you moaning it in the shower last night,” Brittany scoffs, rolling her eyes. “I can’t believe you. You’re willing to throw away the life we’ve built together, forcing your kids to have a broken home, all so you can live out some twisted fantasy with a girl who’ll dump you once she finds a younger model?”

He’s stunned into silence. He knows all too well what a broken home looks like; he remembers the utter chaos of his parents’ rage before he went to live with Wayne. The nights where his mom would scream at his dad until her voice was hoarse and scratchy or until he drove off to God-knows-where. He’d never wanted that for his own children.

“You know what?” Brittany’s shrill voice punctures his rambling thoughts. “Fuck whoever you want. I don’t care anymore.” She stomps towards the bathroom and slams the door shut behind her, making Eddie grimace. He waits for one of the kids to wake up from all the clamor, but no one comes in the room. 

It’s not until after he’s gone to bed that his worst nightmare occurs to him: they’re already used to it.

You’ve barely slept since Brittany caught you and Eddie about to kiss; your brain is overwhelmed with anxiety. You feel like some kind of slut, messing around with a married man, regardless of how awful his wife is. And it’s pathetic how easily you’ll do whatever he asks, desperate to keep him, when he’s never fully belonged to you in the first place.

You’re being selfish, wanting him all to yourself. He has a whole family, and you’re just a way for him to get what Brittany isn’t giving him.

You have to talk to him. You have to know where he stands. He cares about you, that much is obvious. But is it enough? 

Since he told you he was going to be home on Saturday to wait for the plumber, you know this is a good time for you to go over. The kids will most likely be there, but hopefully you can somehow squeeze in some alone time to talk to Eddie. The whole ride there your stomach is in a nervous knot. This is what you wanted, your brain tells you. You wanted him to kiss you and care for you and sleep with you. But maybe it was worse to have a taste if you could never really have the whole meal. 

Hand shaking as you raise your fist to knock, you try to steel yourself. It’s still Eddie you’re talking to. The same caring and loving man that you’ve been dreaming about forever. 

When he answers the door, you can tell he was expecting you to be the plumber. But his face switches from polite smile to full out glee in a fraction of a second. It knocks the breath out of you because you know you’re the only one lucky enough to have that smile aimed your way.

“Hey! This is a nice surprise,” Eddie says. He grabs your hand and tugs you inside. One arm wraps around your waist while the other closes the door behind you. The kids must not be nearby because he leans in and presses a kiss to your lips. “You know, you’re pretty hot for a plumber. Here to check my pipe?” The smirk on his face is so endearing and playful that you almost want to abandon the conversation you need to have with him. Deep down you know that you can’t, though.

“Mm, maybe later,” you say, resting your hands on his chest. “Where are the boys?”

“In Ryan’s room. Either they’re playing quietly, or they’ve killed each other,” he jokes, but he becomes solemn when he sees that you’re not laughing along. “I-I’m kidding; they’re both very much still alive.”

“I need to talk to you about something, Eddie.” 

His mind spins all over the place in a matter of moments, trying to read on your face what could be wrong. His eyes scan up and down your body, assessing if you’re hurt anywhere. But as his eyes move back up to your face, a thought flickers to life in his mind as he gazes at your stomach. Unable to tamper down the joy that comes at the mere thought, a smile graces his lips. 

“Are you..?” He trails off, eyes darting back towards your stomach. 

“What?” you ask, before catching his meaning. “No! Oh no, Eddie, I’m not pregnant.” The way the smile melts off his face makes your heart lurch in your chest. He really wants to have a baby with you? He got that excited after only being “together” for two weeks? 

“Oh,” he says, disappointment clear in his voice. “Well, what’s up?”

Taking a deep breath, you grip his hand in yours and lead him over to the couch. His eyebrows are furrowed as he sits down next to you, his thumb rubbing over the back of your hand. The concern in his eyes feels the opposite of butterflies in your stomach. It feels like moths were drawn to the light only to be killed by a bug zapper. You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. Shit, you really should’ve figured out how you were going to start this conversation. 

“I, um, I need to tell you how I’ve been feeling,” you say. “And I want to know how you’ve been feeling, too.”

“Okay,” Eddie drags out the word, a frown creasing his forehead. “Are you all right?”

You’re not sure what the honest answer to that question is. “I’m feeling guilty, Eddie. B-Because you’re still married. And I know you care about me, but you have a family here. Am I just…” you break off and take a deep breath. “Is this thing between you and me only because you want the attention and affection that you’re not getting from Brittany?”

“What?” Eddie’s baffled by the question. He shakes his head, trying to make things make sense in his mind. “You think I only want you for what my wife isn’t giving me? What, you think I just want to sleep with you?” 

“That’s not exactly…” Again, you trail off, not sure what the right words are. “It’s just that you haven’t really made any steps towards leaving her. I’m not saying to pack up your stuff and leave. But…I just want to see you doing something, I guess.” You fidget with your thumbs. “I can be with you, or I can be your kids’ babysitter. But I…I can’t be both anymore.”

Eddie massages the bridge of his nose as he contemplates his options. “I want you,” he states plainly, “but it’s not that simple.” He thinks of what Brittany said last night, about breaking up his family. His boys having to split their time between Mom and Dad.

His hesitation gives you all of the answers you need. “I’m not asking you to choose,” you tell him. “I…I’m telling you that I can’t do this anymore. I’m not going to force something that isn’t meant to happen. I just have to take care of myself.”

Eddie’s beautiful brown eyes mist over. “No,” he mumbles, gnawing on his lower lip anxiously. “I want to take care of you. I want to take care of my girl.”

“Stop calling me that,” you choke out, tears burning behind your eyes. You try to blink them away before he can see. 

Eddie’s thick eyebrows pinch together. “I thought you liked it,” he says. Concern is written all over his face. 

“Look, I get it. You and Brittany are married, have kids together—you can’t just pick up and go.” There’s no use trying to hide your emotions, and you heave out a sob. “I was the Other Woman, and that’s just something I have to accept, I guess. But you have to stop calling me your girl. Because I’m not.” Your eyes dart to the coffee table, where a frame holds a photo of Eddie and Brittany on their wedding day. They look so in love, and it’s a punch to the gut to realize you’ll never have that with him. “She is.”

“No.” Eddie shakes his head, curls bouncing. His heart breaks, knowing he’s caused you to feel this way. “No, she’s not. Not anymore. It’s you, baby. Only you.” He starts to reach out to wipe away your tears, but you jerk back. 

“If we were just having fun, that’s fine. But I need to hear you say it.” You muster up all of the courage you can. “And you need to stop calling me your girl, or baby, or whatever other cute nicknames you come up with.”

Eddie lets his hands drop to his side. He stares at you forlornly. “I don’t…I can’t…”

“Me either.” You can’t meet his gaze as your trembling hand turns the doorknob. “Goodbye, Eddie.” You pull the door closed behind you, vision blurred as you hurry to your car. You leave behind a stunned Eddie Munson, stuck in place as he watches his world crumble. 

“Fuck!” he yells, slamming his fist into the wall so hard that it dents. He hisses as the pain sets in. 

“Dad?” A small voice calls from behind him. Eddie looks to find Ryan peering out worriedly from the kitchen. He hadn’t heard him leave his room. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Eddie tries to reassure him, but his voice catches. He clears his throat and tries again. “Yeah, buddy; I’m okay.”

“Did she leave?” Eddie didn’t even realize that the kids knew you were here.

Eddie glances out the window to see that your car is no longer in front of the house. “Yeah,” he says sadly. “She’s gone.”

Brittany comes home after the plumber’s been gone for hours. After Eddie fed and bathed the kids, all on his own. After he tucked them in and kissed them goodnight. Eddie wonders if she was spending time with more than one of her boyfriends today. It doesn’t matter, though. It hasn’t mattered to him for months. There’s no pain whatsoever associated with being cheated on or lied to. That nerve went dead a long time ago. 

The pain he feels right now doesn’t really have to do with Brittany at all. It all falls on him, in his own mind. He was the dumbass who finally had the girl he had been pining over for the longest time. Found out she returned the feelings, even when Eddie thought no one would ever love or want him again. The woman who made him feel cared for and important. Who had made him truly happy for the first time in God knows how long. 

Apparently, the pain is clear on his face as he stares at the television, eyes not really absorbing whatever is playing on the screen. Brittany hangs up her coat and strolls over towards him. 

“What’s the matter?” she asks. “Did your little girlfriend have to be home before curfew? She wouldn’t want to get grounded, would she?”

“Fuck off, Brittany,” Eddie says, glazed over eyes not even bothering to look in her direction. She doesn’t, of course. She takes a few steps closer, the heels of her shoes thumping against the carpet. Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie sees her cross her arms over her chest. Her hip juts out to the side and he knows this isn’t going to end well.

“So, have you learned your lesson?” she asks. That makes him finally look over at her, face scrunching up.

“What?” he asks.

“She already found someone better, didn’t she? Probably just wanted you because she couldn’t have you. Or that’s what she thought, anyway. But you caved because she still has that new baby smell about her, right?”

Eddie pushes himself off the couch, jaw clenching as he stares her down. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Just because your God damned harem of men think it’s hot to be fucking someone who’s married—if you even told them—doesn’t mean that everyone is like that.”

“A harem is made up of women, you idiot,” she scoffs. 

“That’s what you fucking took away from what I just said?” Eddie’s hands come up to grab at his hair, his fury and heartbreak reaching a boiling point. “You’re incredible. You know, I’ve known about your affairs for years. Fucking years, Brittany. Years. I was terrified Luke wasn’t even mine but thank God the kid looks just like me. And you know, I accepted it after a while. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I was beyond pissed and hurt. But you, with your psychotic ways, made me think that no one else would ever care about me. Would ever want me. And that’s why you’re so mad now, isn’t it? Because I don’t feel so fucking worthless anymore. Because someone made me feel important after all your years of you trying to do the opposite.” 

He takes a few deep breaths, his pulse raging and his breathing labored from behind so worked up. Brittany is looking at him with fire in her eyes, but Eddie doesn’t care. This explosion was long overdue and she was going to stand there and take it. “And yeah, maybe she’s young. Too young for me? Probably. But that’s not fucking up to you. That’s between me and her. But don’t you dare insinuate that I only want her because she’s young and beautiful. She is everything this world needs more of. Kind, caring, compassionate. Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot that you don’t know what those words even mean. I’d love her even if she was seventy-five and had more wrinkles than my shirts do after you attempt to do the laundry.”

It’s not until Brittany’s eyes widen that Eddie realizes what he just said. He loves you. It just came out with the litany of other words that spewed from his mouth, but he finds these to be truest of everything he said. God, I’m a fucking idiot, he thinks to himself. 

Brittany stalks forward, a lioness about to devour her prey. If there was fire in her eyes before, now there’s an inferno. She grabs Eddie’s hand in one of hers, holding it palm up to the sky. With the other hand, she pulls something out of her purse and slaps it in his hand.

“Here,” she seethes. Eddie looks down and sees the pair of green lace panties you had lost in Brittany’s car. His fingers curl up around the material. He takes his hand that’s clutching the lace and holds it against his chest. 

“You’re pathetic,” Brittany sneers. “We both know you won’t actually leave me. That would require you to grow a pair.” She walks into the kitchen and grabs a cupcake from the fridge; Eddie recognizes it as one that you brought over for the boys. “Have your fun, Eddie. I’ll be waiting for you to come crawling back with your tail between your legs once you realize you’ll never have anyone as good as me.”

He wants to yell back at her, call her all the names in the book, blame her for cheating first. But she’s right–he’s a coward, too afraid to make waves. Instead of committing to the woman he wants to be with, he stays with the one he feels obligated to be with. He grabs his pillow from the bedroom, trudging to the couch for the night. He can’t bear to share a bed with someone who isn’t you. 

Eddie can’t sleep, of course. Too many things are going through his head. I don’t want my kids to come from a broken family. But do I want them to grow up like this? Hearing their parents scream at each other at the top of their lungs? It’s not an example of a healthy relationship either, Eddie knows. And even at five and seven-years-old they already know their mom isn’t there for them. She doesn’t listen to them, show them affection, or even take care of them, really. Sometimes it feels like Eddie is a single parent. Although, that might be easier than this, he thinks. 

But then he thinks about how you are with the boys. Always taking care to make sure they know you’re listening to them, that you hear them. Being firm but never mean when they act up. Buying them things with your own money just because you thought they’d like it. How excited they get when they see you, running over and smothering you in hugs and hellos. How much happier they are around you than they are Brittany. He’s seen the way they’ve physically cringed away from their own mother before. But with you, they never get enough. They always want one more hug, one more game, one more song. Yet, you never get annoyed by it. Most of the time, you agree to it. If Eddie is sure of one thing in life, it’s that you’re meant to be a mother. But did he miss the chance to share in that with you?

A tear snakes down the side of Eddie’s face and the heel of his hand comes up to rub at his eye. He sighs and turns on his side on the couch, adjusting the blanket on top of him. Something soft presses into Eddie’s hip, pressed between his body and the couch. He lifts his body enough to slip his hand into the pocket of his pajama pants. When he looks at the offending item, it’s your panties that Brittany had handed him before. A sniffle comes from Eddie as he balls up the lace in his hand. After holding it for a few minutes, Eddie slips the material back into his pocket.

Crying over a pair of panties, Munson? he thinks, that’s a new one. He flicks on the TV, desperate for a distraction. A rerun of that old crime show, Vega$, is playing. Eddie watches as Robert Urich struts across the street past a flashing neon sign advertising “Girls Girls Girls!!”

Eddie sits up so quickly that the blood rushes to his head. As soon as the dots clear from his vision, he’s grabbing the phone book.

At Eddie’s bachelor party, Steve had drunkenly married a stripper. He’d woken up the next morning and immediately got a lawyer, and it was like the whole thing never happened. Eddie knows his case won’t be so straightforward—he’s been married way longer than 24 hours, for one thing—but the lawyer who’d handled Steve’s divorce made it as painless as possible.

He finds the guy’s name and number and tears out the page, tucking it under his pillow. He’ll call first thing in the morning. And then he’s going to win back the love of his life.

[presidentbungus]

Distractions - engie/medic, ~1k

ao3

finally returning to the time-honored art of feverishly scribbling down a short little science party fic in the middle of the night. my brain disease is back. please enjoy

“I have to say, laborer, I expected better from you.”

His back hits the wall, bare head thunks against it. He lost his hard hat in the first scuffle. And his shotgun. And his pistol. The metal of the gun barrel pressed against his forehead ain’t cold anymore.

Part of him wishes the son of a bitch would get on with it already. The other part of him, though, is the one that’s making him sweat like a stuck pig, and is the one locking his mouth shut.

Good ol’ instinct for ya. Won’t even let you bite yourself in the ass.

Spy just sits there for a second, that smug-poodle look on his face, and he tilts his head. Keeps making a show of fidgeting with the trigger, like he doesn’t even know how stupid it looks. “Not going to say anything? Any last words, laborer?”

“What, you want an autograph?”

He laughs at that, but not in the nice way. “I don't think you are in a position to speak to me that way."

"I think you're in a great position to take a hike and go stick that goddamn muzzle—“

Spy makes a big old ruckus of adjusting his grip on the gun, so he shuts up.

“You are pathetic,” Spy says, sweet ‘n simple. “Hm?”

What a hypocrite. Engineer might hear something—Spy’s being too full of himself to pay any attention. Tap-tap-tap. Footsteps, perfectly even.

“Are you not going to reply to me?”

Engineer just smiles, politely. “Ain’t you supposed to be a good spy?”

Spy hears it too, by now, and he should know better than to relax his grip on the gun when the calculation runs through his pea brain.

Flash of white. Stomp-stomp-stomp. A glower that’s mad enough to probably kill on its own. Engineer grips the barrel of the revolver in his fist while he's distracted, points it at the ceiling as a gunshot rings out and a lotta emotions run through Spy’s face at once—fear-related, mostly.

And, well, he should’ve known better than to put his back to a doorway.

He doesn’t even get to turn around before Medic grips the back of his suit and thrusts the übersaw straight through his head. Engineer whistles at the bit of brain coating the edge as Medic twists once, laughs, and dislodges it, leaving Spy to fall to the ground like a bag of rice.

“Shameful,” he tuts.

Engie stands up, dusts himself off, goes to grab his hard hat but he’s stopped by an arm wrapping around his waist, pulling him in close.

He half-complains till Medic pulls him into a very sudden kiss and, well, that shuts him right up. Whenever they pull away (which takes a while) Medic frowns and says: “What, not even a thank-you?”

“Well.” He’s a little breathless, to be honest. “Gimme a second.”

Medic hums and releases him. “I marched across the entire field. Soldier is going to try to murder me when I get back. Nevertheless he will not succeed, but it will be annoying. You should be grateful.”

“The whole field, huh? And you knew I was in trouble?”

“I have a sixth sense for these things, Engineer. And you are very predictable, you know.”

Engineer finds his hat in the corner of the room, dusts it off, and puts it back on, going back over to Medic to pat his admittedly finely sculpted chest. “Well, either you’re psychic or you put a chip in my spine you’re refusin’ to tell me about. Which one do ya think’s more likely?”

“It’s very important to me to keep tabs on your health,” he says, simply.

“I’m sure it is.”

“Besides, don’t act like you weren’t waiting for me to come rescue you.”

"Well, it’s your fault for making me dependent,” he muses, yanking on that nice straight tie of his just for the little wheeze that pulls out of him. “I could handle it myself if I really wanted to.”

“Oh, I'm sorry." Medic puts a hand on his back, grins, and then lifts him up in a bridal carry, cackling as he yelps, gently knocking their foreheads together. Then: "I suppose I'll just have to stop saving you, Schatz. Keep you on your toes, yes?”

“Hey now. Never said that.”

“I just feel so unappreciated, Engineer… never get any thanks for the things I do…”

Well.

Engineer grips him real tight by the tie (again) and brings him in and they almost fall over on top of each other, but Medic catches himself on a wall which Engineer bangs his head against and somehow they manage to find their way to each other in the meantime. The kiss is short, sweet, and vicious, and Engineer pulls away to wait for Medic to go in himself and he does not hesitate one second, which was really the whole endgame anyway. Eventually Medic sets him down and pins him instead and that’s great and all but right against the wall where he is, a lot of what he’s getting is just a nice round view of Spy’s mangled corpse spilled across the ground.

Which is definitely something. It’s hard to find space with how Doc’s basically mauling him but eventually he manages to push him back, and he takes a second to catch his breath and says: “I’m sorry but the corpse is kinda ruining the mood for me.”

Medic looks back… then forward, to Engineer, with a huge sigh. “That makes sense.”

Engineer smiles, finally releasing his death-grip on Medic’s tie and placing a hand on his chest that in concept is supposed to push him away, though he stays right in place and doesn’t seem to get the message. “And look, I’m sorry to be the one who has to say this, but we should probably get back to work soonish, anyway.”

He pouts. “Oh, nonsense.”

“How long’ve you been away? Soldier’s gonna rip you apart.”

“I will simply rip Soldier apart before he rips me apart.”

“… I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“You don’t know that.”

Engineer can’t keep down a scoff. “We are the two people on the whole team who shouldn’t go missing under any circumstances.”

Medic finally pushes away, grumbling. “You always do this.”

“I like my job. You like your job, I think. Right?"

"... Well..."

"Oh, c'mon, darlin'."

He leans down until their foreheads are touching. “I’m afraid I don’t like my job as much as I like you.”

Engineer can’t resist the urge to peck him on the nose after that, but he swiftly sidesteps the revenge kiss and starts heading out of the room. Whatever indignant thing Medic shouts is covered over by him shouting back: “We’ll reconvene!”

And all he gets back from that is a very protracted groan, and at least the mental image of two hideous kitten-eyes, and that's good enough for him for now.

[jvkeh]

STOCKINGS

⤷ cw office sex, eating out | kpop boy x fem reader | © jvkeh

“h-how you knew i like these?” he groans, thrusting back into your hole that oozed clear liquid like a broken tap. fuck, he loves your pussy. “fucking hell, gorgeous.” his hand moved down from your back to your thighs, bunching the black sheer fabric in his hand and pulling it back, only to let go and snap at your skin.

you groaned at the feeling, your leg burning. “fuck.” you whined out, before being faced with a slap to the ass. “no bad language, angel.” hypocrite. “sorry- knew you like these when i caught you staring at my legs in them the other day.” you mumbled, brain foggy as the thoughts of him staring at your legs in stockings.

“goddamn, baby. your intuitions are right.” he smirks as his hand leaves your leg and goes back to it’s rightful place, your cunt. he prods at your folds, pinching them in the right place to stimulate you further, like his cock being rammed in and out wasn’t already making you cum three times. your boyfriend was never this animalistic during sex, but clearly the black stockings were affecting him enough to bend you over on your office desk. he could barely see it too, as you wore knee high boots to mantain appropriateness. but at his request, you kicked them off as with the rest of your clothes, leaving only your bra and some black knee high stockings.

“i predict that you’re gonna eat me out and make me squirt.” you reply playfully, earning laughter from behind. you wished you weren’t on your hands and knees facing forward the door, the sight of your pantless smiling boyfriend driving you crazy. “wow baby, how did you knew?” he replies, before leaning over until his lips attached itself to your cunt, sucking up all the cum that exited you. wrapping his arms around your legs, your back arches at the warm sensation.

“god.” you squeal as he begins to lap up your juices, his tongue reaching places that no one else could. “o-oh right there!” your cheeks flared as you realised you were in your office and not at home, thus you had to mantain silence. with the way he was going at your cunt, devouring it like a burger combo,

it wasn’t long before you could reach your high, a stifled cry exiting your lips as you felt yourself physically squirting. you slowly humped the desk, drooling over your workspace as he continued to suck and bite on your clit. “thank you-thank you baby!”

you felt yourself being pulled back by a leg towards your boyfriend as he grabbed your waist and lifted you, effectively moving you around to face him. his face was flushed pink, and somewhere along your ministrations, he removed his shirt and was both shirtless and pantless. his abs gleamed with sweat, and his arms tightened around your waist as he glanced back at your cunt, continuing to drool on the desk despite the fact he drunk you up like he had severe dehydration.

“next time, wear stockings and nothing else, alright?” he jokes, earning a punch to the stomach. “hey!”

— inspired by: juyeon, wonwoo, younghoon, taehyun & to all the quiet guys with a kinky public sex streak

taglist: @enhacolor @duolingofanaccount

[feministfang]

The audacity of Muslim women idolising taliban and taking pictures with them when they banned the whole existence of Afghan women. Called out the entire world’s hypocrisy for staying silent on p@lestine but won’t mind being the hypocrites themselves when it comes to women suffering in islamic countries. You can’t cry "islamophobia" each time someone proves you wrong when you’re busy doing your jihad work in west ‘my religion is the most feministic religion please convert to islam’. Ask the women who are actually living in islamic countries how much of a feminist religion islam is. You can’t be sitting in west with your privileged lives giving positive opinions on islam while Afghan women are wishing each day they weren’t born as women. You’re not free there because islam gave you that right, you’re free because of western culture that you ungrateful women love to shit on. I won’t mind if y’all get deported back to your countries. In fact, you seem to love Taliban a lot. Why don’t you move to Afghanistan and marry these bearded terrorists?? Y’all love your traditional islamic culture. I believe you won’t mind stuck in homes, wearing burqas/tents 24/7, cooking and cleaning for the m@les in your families. Please go to Afghanistan and switch places with Afghan women who deserve to live in west because they do care about their liberation and education. I swear if i see another one of you brainded muzzies barking "but what about p@lestine???" "what about gaza???" "boycott this!! boycott that!!" I am gonna send you the bill of my first starbucks order! I’m glad your muslim br0thers are getting bombed! This is what you get for advocating for the oppression of women in islamic countries. Karma!

[r0ttenhearts]

OKAY IM BACK SO

yandere scara or like overly obsessive and possessive scara who does literally everything in his power to keep you with him because god forbid he loses you too w/ his issues; he resorts to guilt tripping you, gaslighting you, etc etc. eventually, he isolates you after scaring off your friends and reader tries confronting him abt it but he’s having non of that crap (why am i asking for this)

as always; you don’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable with it

(i’m the anon that asked for the fic where reader confronts scara)

bitter lie

possessive/yandere scaramouche x reader

part 1/2

sypnosis: with you and scaramouche’s upcoming streaming career you grow tired of his lingering eyes and attention towards other girls in the field

“i’ll never get over you.” scaramouche’s muffled voice was in your ear. your laugh echoed through scaramouche’s screens as he had your stream open while he was streaming your current “online date.”. the chat gushed from his words, emojis spammed and thousands of more messages coming through.

at the time it was a sweet sentiment, a small reminder of his affection for you. now you wished he hadn’t meant it.

the breakup wasn’t a huge shock to you, or so you believed. scaramouche was completely blindsided when you told him you no longer felt a spark between you two. sure, he had been streaming with other girls after you told him you weren’t okay with it. so what if he commented under every streamers instagram pics that competed with you to stay on top? it was okay!

you’d never forget the anger in his voice that night.

“YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE.” his voice boomed through his mic as his hands slammed on his desk. “me? a hypocrite? i never streamed with any other guys like you did!”

“you fucking hung out with that guy, alone. i’m not stupid. i saw your match logs. i know you were duoed.”

“it’s not my fault he doesn’t want to meet any of my friends, scara! i told you beforehand that i was going to hangout with him after you went to bed.” you shot back. scaramouche was referring to alhaitham. alhaitham almost never got on a game with you as he was too busy with his other streamer friends, but you two went far back to before the both of you started streaming. he wasn’t interested in meeting anymore of your friends after he had a nasty interaction with your ex boyfriend, and you respected that.

“but i’m not just a fucking friend (y/n).” he seethed. you scoffed, this was a side you had never seen of scaramouche.

“if you go through with this you’ll fucking regret it, (y/n). i promise you that.”

you shook your head. you were set on this decision. you would choose your own happiness this time. “go for it scara. i’m sure it won’t be any worse than how it’s been in our relationship.”

with that you hung up and blocked him on everything. you hadn’t meant for it to go this way. you knew his larger following wouldn’t take this well, not with how flirty he was to his viewers. they worshipped him. and in comparison, your viewers wouldn’t be able to compete with the thousands gap.

going to bed that night felt lighter. like a new start in your life. you knew a part of you would miss scaramouche. his gentle laughs when you two would hangout together off stream, his spaced out but sweet texts. there were some things about him that you would always cherish. but the pain far outweighed the comfort of the good moments. you sighed as your eyes fluttered shut. it would all be better in the morning. this heavy, nauseating feeling.

your hands shook as you read over his tweets. he was making your breakup as public as possible, he was going to ruin your career. you laughed dryly as you tapped some buttons on your screen, pressing the green call button as you held your cold phone against your ear. “pick up, please.” you muttered to yourself before you heard his voice from the other side of the speaker.

“(y/n)? it’s so early.” alhaitham’s gruff voice sounded from your phone speaker.

“haitham? did you see what scara tweeted. i broke up with him last night a-and..” your voice muffled with your sobs. alhaitham never knew of the overprotective way scaramouche would react when you’d be with others, others that weren’t him.

“slow down, (y/n). who cares if he tweets about you? you both have your own audiences it’ll die down. breathe.” alhaitham scrolled on scara’s feed on his side of the phone. reading through the comments of the new hate tweets spewing towards you. this was bad. alhaitham knew it was bad attention for your upcoming streaming career.

“shh. calm down.” alhaitham whispered quiet words of comfort as you broke down over the phone.

alhaitham didn’t know the hell that would plague you for the next two months. how wrong he could be. the false words of comfort that would feel bitter against scaramouche’s torment.

taglist: @samarill @whorerificstuff @sakiimeo @astrolomona @dearsumire @saeism @shoheartluv @0kauy @lelemnh @ayameei @aqualesha @msdevilis @linkookie197 @beriiov @xiaonscaraswife @foxlover1144 @gh0sts0up @darliingyu @magica-ren @scara6 @Maxineslair

[meowmeowmeowmeow4x]

Dark Blue Moon and the Suffering Sun Chapter 15

I can't believe we're at 15 already :O

MASTAPOST

Danny looked at Damian. Damian looked at Danny. They looked at the smoldering remains of the Atlantean barracks, the scores of soldiers whose feet were frozen to the floor or to each other, bearing incredibly precise scorch marks from the wrist ray (maybe he should take confiscate that soon). They looked at the retreating soldiers, some of whom were openly sobbing. Danny looked at the helmet Damian acquired from their poor Atlantean victims, and the bow and arrow strapped over his chest. He looked at the overflowing satchels full of plant-based food they had plundered from the town. The unluckiest of them sported Damian-shaped bite marks on their exposed skin, a very painful reminder to not enter the kid’s personal space.

“You said we were just gonna get a map.”

Damian crossed his arms and honest-to-god pouted. Or scowled. It was a scowly pout. “It was not my fault you lost control over your powers.”

Danny’s face went blank. “Who was the one who demanded to see the seahorses and stick around even after we got what we needed?”

And you know what? Danny could honestly admit the seahorses were pretty cute. Was it worth risking their lives? Probably not, even if with Danny’s powers, there wasn’t much risk to them at all. It was the principle of the thing.

Damian at least had the decency to look a little embarrassed. “Is it truly my fault if I wish to admire our planet’s marine biodiversity up close?”

“Yes, Damian. Absolutely.”

“It matters not. Besides, the Atlanteans deserve what happened to them.”

Now that excuse wiped the deadpan off Danny’s face, leaving him in open-mouthed disbelief.

Damian continued. “We have done nothing to them, and yet they regard our mere presence with fear, and take up arms despite there being no hostility from us.”

Danny looked back to smoldering ruins. Granted, it was just a barracks and a few watchtowers, but still. The Atlanteans fear of them was starting to feel a little justified. Did the first settlement Damian raided yesterday suffer a similar fate?

He ran his hands down his face. Scratch the bloodthirsty theory. He was beginning to think Damian intentionally got them caught to have an excuse to wreck the Atlanteans. Then there were the weapons. One look at Damian’s satisfied face as he looked over the destruction practically confirmed it.

Man, kids really were menaces, weren’t they? Maybe he should’ve thought more carefully before agreeing to travel thousands of miles alone with this chaos kid. Was it the siren instincts? Youngblood was similarly unhinged. Maybe it just released his inhibitions.

His distress must have been visible, because Damian tutted once his silence went on too long. “I was being merciful to them. With my skills, I could have easily gut them like the fish I very reluctantly eat, but no longer have to thanks to having plundered their food stores.”

“You know what? I’m not gonna even try to unpack all of that. That’s a job for my sister.” The elder siren patted his shoulders. “Get on, we’ve got places to go.”

Damian beamed as he swam around Danny and latched on, head held high. And honestly? Danny would be an absolute hypocrite if he said he didn’t absolutely enjoy whooping the high and mighty bigots a new one.

“Hey B.”

Bruce could hear the strain on Tim’s voice. Even now, the boy was clacking away at the Batcomputer. He probably hadn’t taken more than a five-minute break.

“Tim.” Bruce said. He considered his next words. He was never one for talking much. It had become difficult to emote strongly after that night in Crime Alley.

“Still hacking into the GiW, and going over missing person cases. Haven’t found anything. I’ll post you when I do.” Tim said, all in work mode. Bruce sighed.

“Thank you, Tim, but I know it’s getting late at home. When was your last break?”

Tim didn’t say anything, but Bruce could practically hear the pout.

“I know you’re worried. I am too, but the Batcave will still be there in the morning.”

Tim hummed, still defiant to the last. “We’re losing valuable time. I can handle it. I handled Damian’s… everything. This is nothing. I’ve only been awake for sixteen hours.”

And wasn’t that half the issue.

Bruce took a deep breath. Countless hours of miming with Alfred, and talking to cardboard cutouts of his children.

“I’ve been worrying, Tim.” Just calmly. Just ease into the words. Don’t freak Tim out or scare him away.

“All you ever do is worry, and now it’s Damian so you’re worried even more.”

“I’m…” The lump in his throat grew. It felt like breaking glass to push through. “I’m worried about you.”

Silence on the line.

Bruce continued, stumbling into dark. “H-How are you feeling right now?”

A chair scraped on the other end., followed by retreating footsteps. “Nope. Nope. Not doing this.”

Bruce’s stress hiked. “Wait, Tim!”

The footsteps stopped, although Tim remained silent. Words, words, words, words. What did his manual say about this kind of situation?

“Thank you. I know you and Damian haven’t been on the best terms. But it… It’s…”

Bruce rapidly flipped through his manual, before deciding on the right word, before Tim could get away. “It’s… I’m proud of you. I always have been. And I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

The footsteps resumed, twice as fast as before. Bruce could barely make out muttering about coffee hallucinations. That was good, was it? Bruce looked over his checklist over and over again. Surely he hadn’t missed something?

Maybe he needed to review his notes before talking to Dick…

Arthur Curry, better known to the world as Aquaman, regarded the messaged sent to the palace from the Pacific frontier. The kingdom had benefitted immensely once the zeta system and advancements in instant communication allowed for him to easily communicate with every corner of the country in seconds.

The contents were worrying. Very worrying, in fact. He would almost have dismissed it as impossible, if he weren’t keenly aware of how much damage a clever enough child could do. Memories of the various Robins’ exploits around the Watchtower flashed through his mind, giving him goosebumps.

Never again.

It was a luxury which appeared unable to be afforded to him, as an attendant entered the room and handed him a second message, bound in twine and seaweed. Arthur thanked her, and opened the letter.

Another raid by the same child, this time accompanied by a young teenager. A young teenage siren. The local barracks destroyed, several watchtowers toppled, and food stores plundered. The two sirens fled soon after. About thirty injured personnel, but no casualties, and no civilian injuries either, thank goodness.

It was one of the strangest raids parties he’d ever seen. Usually siren pods descended on vulnerable border towns like a landslide, bringing dozens or hundreds of warriors charging through the countryside, pillaging farmland and razing whole buildings to the seafloor. Arthur transitioned to the archives to continue his research, pulling thousand-year-old records from their carefully preserved cases. His earliest predecessors had seen countless deaths to these war parties, before the Atlantean military was formalised and modernised.

The raids also occasionally took hostages. Sometimes adults or the elderly. Usually children. Arthur’s heart ached at his most vulnerable subjects being stripped away from their families. Those hostages taken were often never seen again, even as Atlantean forces made repeated incursions into siren territory to search for them. They would always be repelled back before finding any.

But one pattern was always clear with the raiders. Although those barbarians took Atlantean children for whatever sick purposes, they never brought their own children to fight. Some of his people believed they didn’t even have children, that they spawned spontaneously as fully formed spirits of destruction and rage.

It looked like those theories were untrue. But what circumstances could produce such a strange result? The first report only described a single siren child, who looked to be about five years old or so by Atlantean standards. The second report confirmed the reappearance of that child, now in tandem with a teenager who still appeared very young. Were they brothers? The reports stated the older one had translucent white and black skin, almost like glass, to the point where even his internal organs were faintly transparent. The younger siren sported a dark green coat, and golden fins and highlights. Neither before or after they struck did the soldiers ever catch a glimpse of an adult.

Could they be orphans? Arthur’s heart panged. Even if they were technically his enemies, he hated the fact that children were the victims of this continued conflict. Despite attempts to work out a peace treaty between his kingdom and the sirens, it could never work out. Atlantis was one kingdom with one king, but the siren pods spent as much time squabbling between themselves as with Atlantis.

Outside of their age and lack of supervision, the children also sported another deviation: Their choice in weaponry. While the capital invested in preferred to traditional weapons, favoring especially polearms like the spear, trident and javelin. Siren war bands in the past favored the bow and arrow, using their superior speed to outmanoeuvre and outrange Atlantean soldiers. Many men and women were lost to their feigned retreat tactics, to the point where every new recruit had to be drilled again and again to never pursue ‘retreating’ sirens.

The elder of the two raiders fought with only his magic, firing icy beams and throwing spears of ice. This was where the duo was most similar to typical siren warriors, contrasting against the disciplined and measured sorcery taught to Aqualad and others his age.

What was alarming was how the younger boy fought. He slashed at one poor soldier who got too close with a sword in his first attack. Mauled six others with his teeth in the second. At ranged he wielded a strange contraption on his wrist, capable of rapidly firing concussive energy beams that let him suppress and disrupt soldiers triple his size.

The sirens were never interested in technological development in the same way as the Atlanteans did, and never had they possessed a weapon even close to as advanced as the one sported by the tiny child.

Arthur’s eyes furrowed. Could it be that some third party was supplying Atlantis’ enemies? How long before another army gathered, before the kingdom faced another existential threat like Pariah Dark had once posed?

Arthur’s Justice League communicator vibrated. The king of Atlantis picked up the call.

“Arthur.” It was Bruce. “This is urgent.”

“What do you need?”

“What information has your kingdom got on sirens?”

“What a coincidence, because I’ve just received two new reports from the Pacific frontier…”

“… As for this Phantom character, the culprit of the attack seems to match your description perfectly.”

Bruce furrowed his eyes. He marked the location where Phantom had last struck. The boy was heading south, along the California Current. For what reason? Was he migrating according to his needs as a species, or was he searching for another haunt? Was he going further south or would he turn west once he neared the equator and follow the current there?

Six months of stalking a human town, fighting off other sirens, only to abandon it once the GiW came out in force, and then start marauding Atlantean settlements out of nowhere? Something extraordinary had to have happened. According to Arthur, Phantom had never been seen by his soldiers before. Perhaps Phantom had completed whatever goals he had in Amity, and was transitioning to his next move on Atlantis.

Phantom was young, or at least appeared young. Likely no older than fifteen. The fact that no records show any similar pattern of behaviour ruled out the possibility of it being some kind of coming-of-age ceremony. It seemed Phantom was an outlier among his species.

If sirens travelled in pods, then where was Phantom’s?

“It’s funny you mention that, since he wasn’t alone. There was a tiny child with him. I think he was about five years old or so. The boy carried weapons like a warrior, and blasted my soldiers with energy beams from a futuristic wrist gun. I’ll sent you the sketch the commander sent me.”

Bruce confirmed his receipt of the sketch. His eyes widened.

Emblazed on the gun’s side was a very familiar logo, a flaming blue F for Fenton.

The conversation ended soon after, with Arthur promising to forward him translated copies of the reports.

Bruce clasped his hands, holding them tight as he pondered (not brooded, despite what Dick insisted).

It seemed Phantom’s lack of morality couldn’t sink further. He had manipulated Amity Island teenagers into assisting him, and now he was leading what was basically a toddler half of Damian’s age into dangerous battles against trained soldiers.

Bruce’s will hardened with righteous anger. This Phantom was barely fresh off his last crime before preying on another child. He had to be stopped.

Suddenly he had three children to save now.

Please be ok, Damian…

[blacklesbothatlovestowrite]

On My Mama Pt. 7 (Things I Hate About You)

Tags: @mixedfandxms @shurislover @sweetalittleselfish-honey @desswright29 @cutttteeee @onyxstones-world @katymae12344 @doramilaj233 @sweetalittleselfish-honey @6-noir @khara876 @she-is-my-unrequited-love34 @teadah18 @un-deniable-me3 @anayaperry @lppriceisright

“Not gonna lie… I can’t fault you for fucking the OG. She fine af.” Riri whispered to Shuri as they watched You and your mother stare each other down. You’d walked up to the door, pushing Riri out of the way and had been staring your mother down for what felt like hours but was mere minutes.

“Riri, shut the fuck up.” Shuri hissed, irritated that all her effort was going to be demolished by this one moment.

“Ion know why you mad for, you got to fuck on the OG and you fucking on Y/n now. You greedy bitch.” Riri rolled her eyes. Not that she wanted to mess with your mother. She was aware the woman was attractive but she had nothing on you. You were gorgeous, smart, opinionated as hell and kind even though you tried to pretend you weren’t and that you didn’t care about anything or anyone.

“Are you not going to invite me in?” Your mother asked, her tone was sickly sweet. A tone you knew all too well. It was her nice nasty tone.

“No.” You finally spoke.

“No?” She repeated as if shocked.

“No!” You hissed, and slammed the door in her face.

“Oh shit.” Riri laughed in disbelief. She didn’t know what to expect but that surely wasn’t it.

“Y/n…” Shuri called but you ignored her as you opened the door to see your mother still standing there with a shocked look on her face.

“The nerve you have to come here is astounding!” You snap. Months of ignoring her and trying to pretend she didn’t exist hadn’t prepared you for the rage you felt at seeing her again. “You’re nothing but a selfish bitch! Never in your life have you ever been a decent person! You come here and for what? To make amends so that you feel better about yourself?! Fuck you! I told you I never wanted to see you again and you seem to think what? That I misspoke ? My DAD is DEAD, and I wish it were YOU! You are not a mother! You don’t know the first thing about being a mother! And if you think I’m being emotional or that I don’t mean what I’m saying hear me when I say… I FUCKING HATE YOU! I ALWAYS HAVE! DAD IS THE ONLY REASON I EVER RESPECTED YOU EVEN WHEN YOU TREATED ME AS IF I WERE MERELY THE SHIT ON THE BOTTOM OF YOUR SHOES YOU HOMOPHOBIC HYPOCRITE WHORE !”

Shuri and Riri shared a look of astonishment as they watched you crash out. You were visibly shaking, your eyes narrowed and your words emphasized with great contempt. Neither knew what to say or do as they’d never seen you this angry.

Your mother said nothing as she took in your words. Her jaw clenched and her eyes tightened as she stared at you in utter disbelief.

“Get the fuck away from my apartment and slither back to whatever fucking gutter you crawled out from!” You spoke again, wanting her to get just how much you wanted her to leave.

* WHAP *

You stare at your mother in shock as she slapped you so hard, you bit your tongue.

“You clearly have lost your mind! You do NOT talk to me like that!” She shouted.

“Fuc—“

* WHAP *

You grinded your teeth to keep from hitting her back, as she glared at you. She’d never put her hands on you before, she’d never dare with the way your father was about you.

“I’ve given you more than enough time to get your act together. I am your mother and you will respect me! I brought your ungrateful, spoiled and entitled ass into this world.” She eyes you, her mouth setting in a line.

“Entitled? Me? Clearly being a whore and a hypocrite isn’t enough. You had to add delusional to the list as well.” You spat, furious at her words.

“Y/n, I’m trying not to put my hands on you. I did not come here for this. Your father would be so disappointed with —“

* BOOP *

“Don’t talk about my fucking dad!” You punched her straight in the nose, hearing the crack.

Shuri quickly moved to grab you as Riri grabbed your mother as the two of you moved to hit each other. You had no love lost for the woman. That died when your dad died. You tried to be cordial and respectful and perfect for her and all she ever did was shit on it. Your dad pushed you to respect her, to love her even when she made it hard for you to.

“YOU. ARE. NOT. MY. MOTHER. YOU. DON’T. KNOW. HOW. TO. BE. ONE!!!!!” You screamed, fighting against Shuri’s hold.

“You excel at playing a victim, Y/n.” Your mother shakes her head. “Everything isn’t always about you. You’re angry because your little childhood crush fucked me? Baby girl, I am everyone’s childhood crush. Grow up and stop with this nonsense.”

Riri’s eyes widened as she stared at Shuri. She was shocked at the audacity your mother had. The whole argument between the two of you was absolutely absurd and it was getting more ridiculous with every rebuttal.

Shuri simply raised a brow. She had known absolutely nothing of your mother until she threw herself at her the night at the club. While she could admit your mother was gorgeous, she was no different from the many women that tried to get her attention. You were the only one besides Riri that showed her that you were more than just your looks.

She actually respected you and Riri. Something she couldn’t say for the plethora of women she’d fucked or whom had tried to throw themselves at her unsuccessfully.

Shuri was unsure where your mother got the idea that she was such hot shit. She literally fucked her in that club and walked away like it was nothing. In fact she took a completely different woman home the same night.

While she could admit your mother was good, and very attractive. Shuri remembered how much she hated how the woman ran her mouth. She literally fucked her from the back and choked her to get her to shut the fuck up. She’d fucked her several times in an hour after she’d finally shut her mouth.

The woman was a functioning drunk that talked a little too much about shit no stranger should have been privy to. Many things she felt you should have been aware of but it wasn’t her place to speak on anything. Let alone try to mend fences especially considering you were just getting on good terms with her.

“You’re bragging about being fucked like a two dollar whore in a club bathroom?!” You laughed, not even able to be angry at her words.

Weird flex but ok….

“Did you not fuck that girl in a car in middle school?” Your mother reminded you, a smirk on her lips. “You were always to fast for your age and yet here you are trying to shame me? I am grown.”

“Well it takes a whore to know one. As you said, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” You returned her smirk. You were far from a whore but if she thought that would hurt you, she was sadly mistaken.

“You fucked up a good thing with a good man and yet here you stand with no remorse. Talking about being fucked by the same person you cheated with. You’re literal garbage. Not even worth my time. Get out and don’t come back.” You relaxed in Shuri’s hold, not even willing to continue with whatever this was.

“Y—“

You cut her off by holding up a hand. “Leave!”

Riri forces her towards the door and slams the door, locking it. She didn’t like the fact you both were disrespecting each other but even less that she as the mother was egging the situation on rather than trying to stop it.

Her mother would never act like that. She would never talk to her mother like that either but she also knew everybody was different and circumstances were different for everyone. The whole situation made her feel the ick. She felt like your mother was weird for fucking with anyone her daughter’s age, just off how she’d feel if that were her mother.

Then add to it how she was acting and what she was saying. The mere thought of her and her mother in a similar situation made her feel sick. She didn’t know who to side with as far as she saw it in her mind you both were wrong. Your mother for talking to you crazy and even more so for hitting you in the face. There was never any need for a parent to hit a child in the face. She’d never get behind that.

You were wrong in her eyes for disrespecting your mother. It didn’t matter what your mother did in her relationship with your father, it was between them not you. She could understand your loyalty to your father but it had nothing to do with you beyond how he died. You had every right to be upset but disrespecting her was wrong.

You both clearly needed A LOT of therapy in her opinion but she wouldn’t hold her breath on that happening anytime soon, if at all. For it to get physical like it did made it clear that reconciliation was far out of reach.

-

A few hours later You, Shuri and Riri are lounging on Shuri’s California King Bed. Shuri thought it was a good idea to smoke the bad day away. So you all were getting high and drinking. A bad combo, but one you needed.

“Why do you hate yo ma dukes so much? It’s gotta be more than just the cheating and the death of your pops.” Riri says, blowing smoke out as she stared at you.

“She’s not what she portrays herself to be. She’s homophobic, emotionally and verbally abusive. She belittles me any chance she got. My father was the buffer between us, she was always on her best behavior around him.” You roll your eyes as you take the blunt from Riri and take a long hit.

“You know today’s the first time she ever put her hands on me?” You laugh hysterically. “The scary bitch would have never if my dad was still here.”

“I’m sorry.” Shuri says, as she rubs your back. She took the blunt from you and took a hit, fighting the urge to ask the many questions she had on her mind. She hated when people tried to get deep with her so she’d be a hypocrite to do it to you.

“I don’t know what I did to make her hate me so much.” You teared up. You’d always thought it might have been the gay thing but when she fucked Shuri you knew it wasn’t that. “But I’m past the point of caring. I hate her just as much as she hates me so we’re even.”

“She could die tomorrow and I’d be like ‘She died? Hope that bitch is dead as hell!” You continued ranting, taking a huge swig of the Wakandan alcohol Shuri had.

Riri frowned but said nothing. She didn’t like that but if that was how you felt then that’s how you felt. She could see now that you had a lot of rage and resentment build inside of you towards your mother. If you couldn’t forgive your mother, how could you ever forgive her?

“Shuri, I wanna fuck.” You whined, climbing on her lap and straddling her legs.

Riri looked at the two of you in jealousy. She hated how things had taken a turn for the worse. She really liked you and she felt sick at how she fucked up. She still couldn’t get the look on your face out of her head.

You leaned up to whisper in her ear. “I wanna fuck Riri too.” You giggled at the look on her face.

“Y/n, you sure ?” She asked.

“I don’t have to like the bitch to fuck her.” You shrugged, you didn’t like Riri. You were sticking to that, even if you didn’t entirely believe that.

You climbed off of Shuri’s lap and started to strip, watching the way Riri’s hooded eyes followed your movements.

“Everyone’s doing reckless and trifling shit and I believe in that saying ‘if you can’t beat em, join em’ so, why not fuck you both.” You said, nonchalantly.

You were attracted to them both, and you were in the mood for some reckless behavior.

“Of course you don’t have to.” You give them both the option but you knew they wouldn’t deny you. They fucked each other many times before, and you were sure while they both wanted to fuck you; this was more exhilarating.

“You need therapy.” Riri shook her head, looking away from you.

She wanted you badly but not this way. If it was purely about sex she would have taken you up on the offer. She honestly could have pressed you harder and had your legs opened back when you didn’t hate her. She actually liked you, and she knew deep down you were still angry and hurt at her actions.

Fucking you wouldn’t change anything and she refused to be involved in toxicity. While her previous actions were toxic, she knew she was wrong immediately after and sought out her old therapist to gain some help and to take accountability for her wrongdoing.

She could see that you were in a downward spiral of self destruction and despite how much Shuri may like you. She was enabling the bad behavior. You used sex as a way to gain affection and hide your pain, it was easy to see and she was not willing to contribute to it.

When she’d initially made the bet with Shuri on who would be the first to have you, she had no real intention of going through with it. She’d merely wanted Shuri to stop the drunken whoring she was prone to.

And like she figured. Shuri stopped fucking random women and focused solely on getting your attention. She may have flirted with other women to get under your skin but she hadn’t touched another woman since the day you’d met.

Going back to therapy unleashed a bunch of things she hadn’t fully thought about. Like what led to her immature and petty actions. Or why she tried her best to look out for Shuri and be her stress relief when things got too much and she got sick of other people. Or why she was willing to sacrifice any relationship with you if it meant Shuri being happy.

She was still dealing with unresolved guilt from when she had unwillingly unleashed that psycho fish man on Wakanda. The Queen’s death still weighed on her, despite her trying to bury the feelings and thoughts that sometimes plagued her.

Therapy showed that she purposely sabotaged her relationship with you because she didn’t feel she deserved you. She felt she owed it to Shuri to help you open up and heal so the two of you could be together, even if it killed her inside.

It also unearthed her loyalty to Shuri in a way that her therapist said worried her. Riri spent every waking minute of the day focused on how she could better your day or Shuri’s. Her projects and vigilante work suffered, though her therapist knew nothing of her secret identity.

She felt slightly burnt out but it still didn’t compare to the guilt she felt at what Shuri had lost due to her. Nothing would ever make them even but Riri had vowed to always try to make things better for Shuri no matter what.

“I didn’t ask for Dr Phil.” You level her with a glare. There was no way she was denying you after all the ass kissing she’d done.

“Look, you can accept that fact or not but the truth remains the same. You need help, and I just want to be your friend. I care about you Y/n. Whether you believe that or not.” Riri sighs, before heading out of Shuri’s room and closing the door.

“Do you think I need help?” You ask, climbing back on top of Shuri.

“Absolutely.” Shuri nods, placing a kiss on your neck. “And I’m just the person to give it to you.”

You squeal as she flips you over so she is hovering over you.

[xfgpng]

𝐥𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐫 𝐠𝐨𝐧’ 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 -

— : [ nsfw ] fwb, name calling, rough sex, breeding kink. toxic kazutora (reader is toxic too)

— : wc : 1.5k

alcohol and feelings did not mix well. you can’t even count on one hand the amount of times you’ve said or done something stupid.

you said you were done with him. he always made you feel bad for sleeping with other people. your arrangement started out as a way to let off steam but he liked the attention women gave him and he’d purposely piss you off and try to make you jealous.

he was a hypocrite because anytime you tried to get with someone for a night, he’d be right there to ruin any potential hookup and it confused you. you two weren’t exclusively dating and you wouldn’t consider him a friend.

“what happened to you being done with me?” kazutora smirks, watching you walk over to the kitchen counter to get another drink.

“i’m not here for you” you scoff, not bothering to look at him. which is good because you don’t see him clenching his jaw in irritation.

“yeah?” he tilts his head to the side, “someone else invite you?”

“yeah” you grin, “ran did”

he scoffs and walks out the kitchen. you laugh and grab a shot. it burns going down and you know you should slow down if you don’t want to regret it the next day.

“you love testing his patience” yuzuha grins. she’s been your best friend since primary school and while the two of you spent a lot of time together, you rarely met her brothers friends until high school.

it wasn’t until a few months ago that you met kazutora. he was in jail for a while but you never really questioned it and since he and baji were cool now, whatever happened back then wasn’t any of your business.

you weren’t really into ran. he was good looking and you two got along fine but he wasn’t the one you wanted to be with and it frustrated you.

“let’s dance” ran whispers, glancing over at kazutora who was watching you intensely, “you seem tense”

you could already feel the warmth of the alcohol thrumming through your veins. you take a shot of something else yuzuha offers you before following ran to the middle of the room.

there was a lot of people scattered around the house, some people you didn’t know but kazutora was surrounded by a bunch of girls you recognised from college.

you roll your eyes when you make eye contact and he grins but it immediately turns into a glare when he sees ran place his hands on your hips.

he downs his drink and throws his red solo cup in the nearby trash before making his way through the bodies of people. you would scoff if you weren’t shocked.

“move” he says and ran sighs, stepping back and lifting his hands in surrender. he wasn’t about to have a fight in the middle of his living room. the cops being called wasn’t uncommon and the night was still young.

“we were just—”

“i don’t give a fuck y/n” he snaps, “you out here being a slut?”

“what’s it to you?” you scoff, “i don’t have to fucking explain a damn—”

he grabs your jaw, not enough to hurt but enough to shut you up. it pisses you off how easily he wins.

“you’re my girl” he says, “i don’t care about your little attitude”

“your girl just like them?” you ask and he chuckles

“so you are jealous?” he laughs, smugness returning to his face

“i wasn’t the one throwing a little bitch fit over a dance” you raise a brow and he squeezs your jaw a little harder

“you want to take this upstairs or are you going to keep pretending you don’t want me?” he asks, leaning closer to you. he knows you’re not drunk and he wishes he was. it was easier than dealing with the foreign feelings in his chest whenever he thought about you.

he liked you more than he cared to admit and it was obvious to just about everyone that knew you both.

“i’m not going upstairs with you just for you to go home with someone else after” you push him off you, “i’m serious, i’m done with you”

“you’ll never be done with me baby” he says, “we both know that and who the fuck said i wanted anyone else?”

you don’t say anything. he’s never mentioned other people since the two of you started your relationship in the first place.

“just… can we leave?” you ask, sighing, “i don’t wanna be here right now”

“did you drive here?” he asks and you shake your head

“get your bag from yuzuha and we can go” he signals for his car keys from chifuyu

the car ride isn’t awkward per say. you’re still upset and that last shot of tequila is making your eyes feel heavy. you have no doubt that you’re going to have the worst hangover tomorrow morning.

“do you have to always be so stubborn?” he asks when he stops at a red light. you weren’t even sure whose place you were headed to.

“you make me this way” you shrug

“y/n” he clenches his jaw, squeezing your thigh with the hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel.

“you asked” you say softly. if there was one thing you enjoyed, it was riling him up. he didn’t get to mess with your feelings and confuse you the way he did. it wasn’t fair that you couldn’t stay away no matter how hard you tried.

“i’m fucking trying” he says after a moment, “i’m new to this shit and i don’t know what i’m supposed to do”

you glance over at him and can’t help but admire his side profile. he really was so handsome and the butterflies in your stomach was swirling so much that it made you feel nauseous. it also could’ve been the shots you took.

“i haven’t been in a serious relationship either” you sigh, “every relationship before you failed miserably and i don’t know if i can go through that again”

“so teach me” he says

“kazu—”

“i want to do better.. for you” he groans, “please, i want to be with you”

“we’re toxic” you laugh, trying to mask the way you’re smiling.

“yeah but i’d rather work on us than try and get with someone else” he rolls his eyes, “it’s easy to fuck around y/n, i don’t just want sex”

your head hurts as it hits the wall behind you. he’s not trying to hurt you on purpose but the kisses while trying to take your clothing off is proving to be difficult.

your dress isn’t even completely off when he slams you into the door and pulls your leg around his waist.

“wrap your arms around my neck baby” he whispers against your lips, “can’t wait”

you nod, kissing back with just as much force while he’s pulling his cock out. his pants isn’t all the way down but he doesn’t care. he needs to be inside you now.

“fuck” he grunts, your pussy clenching around his cock. your moans are his favourite sound and the little hiss as you grip his neck is his favourite.

it stings, the stretch still leaves you reeling. you both usually enjoy four play but sometimes you needed it to hurt. you wanted to feel it for days.

“i shouldn’t even let you cum” he scoffs, slapping your tits, pulling your dress down to pinch your nipples. you moan louder, eyes squeezing shut as he picks up his pace. the door keeps banging against the wall but you don’t want to stop.

“such a fucking whore” he groans, “so ready to give it up to ran huh?”

“no” you gasp, hands gripping his shoulders tightly. you hope it leaves marks.

“no?” he leans in to kiss you. it’s rough and sloppy and he keeps nipping at your lower lip. you can taste blood but it only makes you clench around him.

“want you” you cry out, “just you kazu, please”

“please what?” he grins, grinding his hips without moving. he loves teasing you and making you beg for him. he never thought he’d ever get this addicted to one person. it drives him crazy.

you drive him crazy.

his dick presses up against your cervix and it hurts so good. you feel so full and the slower he drags his cock inside you, the more you feel everything. he’s so big and wide and it has you throbbing between your legs.

“want to cum” you whimper, “need to”

he chuckles, grabbing your jaw to face him.

“open your eyes” he snaps, “i want you to look at who’s fucking you this good”

your eyes are glassy with unshed tears and he loves it. he only wants you crying for him like this.

“good girl” he kisses you softly. “just for me yeah?”

you nod your head, maintaining eye contact as you start to move your hips. it’s uncomfortable with the way you’re pressed against your bedroom door but he still moans.

“i’ll make you cum baby” he says, “so fucking hard”

“wanna fill you up until you’re dripping with my cum and then do it again” he thrusts up hard, “you want that?”

“yes” you moan, “want your cum”

you’d be embarrassed at the fact that you could barely speak but it felt so good that you didn’t really care. you just wanted all of him.

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - eighty-six | give him the ol’ UwU

He turned around and stood. “Y/n, hi.”

You remembered his face from the picture, and now in three dimensions, he looked exactly as you thought he would: passably attractive like any rando you might walk past on the street. The kind of face someone could consider being really good looking if his personality was funny or kind or both... but instead he was a harasser, deciding to be the worst kind of man. It permeated his features, in your mind at least, giving him an unsettling undercurrent that gave you the fucking creeps. To think that someone could look so normal and be doing anything but.

You could feel the microphone shift against your body and you found yourself wishing you had taped it to your skin like a police informant in a mob movie. You hoped the fabric moving didn’t obscure any speech. 

You smiled. “Have you been waiting long?”

“No, not that long.”

You gestured to the bench he had been sitting on. “Shall we sit?”

He nodded awkwardly and sat. You sat next to him, but a few inches away.

“I’m glad we could meet up like this.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You’re actually talking to me.” You smiled.

He smiled a small smile and looked away.

“So… was getting here difficult for you?”

He turned back. “No, I drove.”

“Oh. I took the bus.”

He nodded.

“Um… are you nervous to meet me?”

“A little.”

“Why?”

“I… never thought I could talk to you.”

“You talked to me in the café a few times.”

He nodded.

“So why is this different?”

He shrugged.

“You were able to talk to me then.”

He was quiet for a few minutes. You didn’t want to force him and possibly scare him off, so you sat and waited.

“Your boyfriend told me to leave.”

“Well… we had just started dating and you were making me nervous by coming in and just looking at me--”

“I was making you nervous?” There was a slight edge to the question.

“You-- you kept coming in to look at me and didn’t say anything at first.”

He looked at you.

“Don’t you think it’d make you nervous if someone did that to you?”

“Maybe.”

His body language indicated that you might have been turning him off.

“But… we’re talking now. So thank you for fixing it.”

He looked at you again. 

You smiled

“You’re really thanking me?”

You had to try and crack him. You knew you had a few cards you could pull. Card Number One: you did your best try at acting like a demure anime girl. You looked surprised at first before nodding with a shy smile.

“Why?”

“Well…If you want to be friends, this is how to be friends, right?”

He watched you quietly.

“You have to… actually talk to someone to be friends with them… right?”

He looked away and considered this.

You weren’t sure when to push for the confession, but you felt you had to take this slow.

“Then why don’t you talk to me when I talk in chat?”

“But I have before.”

“Before,” he emphasized. “But not lately.”

“Well, that’s because--”

“Because you had a boyfriend.”

“Well, yeah, I couldn’t talk to you if I was with him. What would he think?”

He frowned and looked away again. “You still could have talked to me.”

“Would you rather I be disloyal?”

He turned back to you.

“Should I be the kind of woman who dates one man and talks to others?”

He was silent.

Card Number Two: manipulation. You hated doing it, but the Terror Triplets were your teachers all through school and you would use what you learned from them now.

“If I were your girlfriend, would you want me to talk to other men?”

He shook his head quickly. “No.”

You’d have to send them a fruit basket when this was all over.

You smiled. “See?”

He nodded slowly. “But… it would have been okay if you only talked to me.”

Hypocrite. Fine, Card Number Two again, if that’s what he wants, he can have it.

You smiled. “Well, I guess I could have… because it’s you.”

“Because it’s me?”

“Because you’ve been following me for so long.”

“I have…”

“I… I should have realized and made you a mod.”

His eyes lit up.

“I’m sorry for not realizing that.”

“You should have.” 

Card Number Three: agree with everything he says. You averted your eyes to your lap and faked sadness.

“I know, I should have.”

He nodded, confidence from the café seemingly returning. “I wouldn’t have had to find out who you were if you just talked to me.”

This is it. “How did you find out?--”

His eyebrows raised. Too far, you’re going too far. You combined all three cards into an attack you hoped would devastate him. 

“--I… I thought I hid myself so well from everyone.” You giggled. “I was just so… impressed.”

He looked at you.

You blinked demurely before pretending to be shy and turning away. Send his ass to the Shadow Realm.

You could hear him shift on the bench as he moved closer.

“I… I found an old account you had and it had a picture.”

BINGO. 

“You were beautiful.”

You did not care what he was saying at this point. 

“I fell in love with you.”

Never mind, maybe you did because: EW. If it was an old account that meant you were like, seventeen in the pictures; that’s fucking disgusting. You hid your displeasure and turned around.

“Really?” You asked with your best anime innocence.

“Mhm,” he nodded.

“How did you find me here in Seoul?”

“I used the geodata on the picture of Morn’s cat.”

“Wow, you’re so smart.” You smiled.

In your brain you were screaming internally. You hated that you hadn’t thought to scrub the data in the file itself. You wanted to lunge at him and strangle him with your bare hands, but you couldn’t. Not just because you needed the full confession - of which you realistically figured you had about 75% of - but because he was a lot bigger than you. Realistically, you didn’t know if you could.

You looked away again before looking back. He seemed to enjoy the drama. “But…”

“Can I ask you something?”

If he asked you out…

“Will you please go out with me?”

You blinked. You screamed internally. You blinked again. You had to back up. Plan B. Which you didn’t have.

“O-Oh.” You stammered.

His expression changed. Confusion.

“I don’t know if I can…”

“Why not?”

His voice sounded slightly dangerous, like he wanted you to think about your choice carefully before answering.

You looked at him blankly for a moment before smiling. 

“Because…” You let your voice drop back to its normal register, “How could I Iove a man who would do such things to me?”

“What?” 

He looked across your features before his expression took on one of anger. His hand found your forearm and gripped you there.

“What do you mean?”

“Ow…”

“What do you mean?”

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a/n: Ahh! What’s going to happen? Is anyone going to help?

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🧋 Any comments, reblogs, or asks are appreciated! I love talking with you guys and seeing what you’re saying about the chapters, it keeps me going 🥰

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[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

getting down (on your knees/to brass tacks) (not old enough ch.5)

pairing: leon kennedy x reader

cw: oral sex, vaginal sex, daddy kink, breeding kink (light)

summary: leon has been forgiven for now, so he can have a little sex (as a treat) but, the dreaded question must finally be answered: "what are we?"

word count: 2.8k

ao3 link

You woke up the next morning in Leon’s arms. He looked so peaceful. You felt bad for waking him up when you got up to use the bathroom and brush your teeth. When he felt the weight of your body leave the mattress, he pulled you back to his chest with his eyes still closed. 

“I’ll come right back. I promise,” you said. 

He mumbled something incomprehensible in response and allowed you to get out of bed. You came back a few minutes later to find Leon on his stomach, hugging a pillow, looking so cute you wished you’d taken a picture of him. 

Looking at the clock, you realized it was already 9:30 AM on a Monday. Leon should be at work. You shook him to try and wake him up. It was uncharacteristic of him to sleep in. 

“Leon, it’s late. You’ve gotta get up for work.”

“Tell Hunnigan I’m not coming in today.”

“Who’s Hunnigan?”

“Can you hand me my phone?”

You grabbed his phone from the bedside table and noticed that he had 7 missed calls from Ingrid Hunnigan - whoever that is , you thought. 

Leon turned over and stared at the screen, squinting - that old man probably did need reading glasses, but he was too stubborn to admit it. He sighed and made a phone call.

You heard a woman’s voice on the other line, sounding somewhere between panicked and pissed. 

“I’m not coming into work today.”

You couldn’t hear what the woman said, only that she was not happy about that answer.

“Tell them I’m sick,” he groaned. 

He definitely wasn’t sick last night. You realized you might be rubbing off on Leon - he was the definition of a workaholic, but today he was faking sick. You weren’t sure whether to feel bad that you were likely a factor in his decision to skip work - which was generally frowned upon - or if you were glad, knowing he was finally doing something for himself. 

He hung up the phone and dropped it on the bedroom floor, too lazy to even put it on the bedside table. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” you tried again to wake him up with your sweet voice and little kisses to his forehead. 

“I wanna go back to bed.”

“Don’t wanna hang out with me?”

“I wanna go back to sleep with you. You’re so comfy.”

“Five more minutes.”

Five minutes ended up being closer to an hour. Leon finally got up on his own, waking you up out of your peaceful slumber this time.

“That was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in the past 20 years.”

“I’m glad I got to share it with you.”

Leon grabbed a pair of sweatpants from his dresser - you’d falled asleep naked, though you’d already opted to put on your own sweatpants before getting back into bed for the ‘five minutes’. Goddamn he was hot. He didn’t put on a shirt and you wondered if he could read your mind. You would’ve begged him not to if he’d tried. Which would be a little hypocritical, considering the fact that there was no way he was getting you out of your t-shirt. His thermostat was rarely set above 70. The DSO must be paying him well if he can afford his AC bill. 

Normally, you would think it was a little unhygienic for anyone to go without underwear, but Leon in those gray sweatpants. He was going to kill you. Was he really just lazy or did he want to rile you up? 

The night before, you’d had him beg for your forgiveness, and while you’d forgiven, you hadn’t forgotten. Leon S. Kennedy was still on thin ice. 

It took a little bit of cognitive dissonance to reconcile your next actions, but holy shit you wanted him so bad it wouldn’t be fair to yourself to deny your desires. 

“Daddy?” you said right when Leon was about to exit the room. 

“Yes, baby?” he didn’t question the whole ‘daddy’ thing anymore, at least not that morning.

“I want you,” you said with a pouty face that screamed ‘ please don’t make me embarrass myself ’. 

He looked at you, gauging your intentions - was this another game like the night before?

“How do you want me?” he asked. 

“In my mouth.”

“I thought I was still making it up to you, and now you’re trying to reward me? Am I misreading this?”

“It’s what I want. It’s a reward for me.”

“I’m certainly not opposed.”

You grabbed a pillow from the bed - you wanted Leon, but not enough to give yourself bruises on your knees - and placed it on the hardwoods. (Before getting on your knees and reaching for his hard wood). 

He surrendered himself to you completely, letting you take him out of his sweatpants and cover his cock in wet kisses. He gave you nothing but praise.

“I’m gonna call out sick a lot more if this is what happens on my sick days.”

Your laughter was hot breath on his aching cock. Watching it twitch in front of your face - for you, because of you - brought you an unrivaled pride. You considered making him beg like he had the night before, but that morning radiated a sweetness that you didn’t want to disturb. It was a morning about giving after so much shameless taking and it was beautiful. 

The blowjob you gave him was sloppy in the best way - nothing mechanical about it, just raw passion.

“You’re so beautiful, so perfect,” he said through labored breaths. 

You didn’t try to fit him in your mouth entirely, didn’t want to make yourself choke that morning. Instead, you sucked on the head and used your hand to jerk off the rest of his length. With your dewy eyes looking up at him, from that position, you looked so sexy and paradoxically innocent. The way you’d asked him to do this, saying ‘Daddy?’ filled every crevice of his brain. 

You were sucking on the tip of his cock like it was a fucking pacifier. You looked comfortable like this. Was it wrong to think about it that way? Maybe. Did it stop Leon’s mind from wandering there? No.  

Leon came in your mouth babbling praises, “you make me feel so good”, “you’re a good girl for daddy”, “you’re so perfect like this, princess”, and other things of that nature. 

You swallowed with a smile as if the act was effortless. 

“I could use another hour or two of sleep. How ‘bout you?”

You got up off your knees and he pulled you closer by the arm, “Or I could return the favor…”

“You could do me the favor of making coffee.”

“You got it.”

You sat at the kitchen table across from Leon and allowed reality to seep into your conversation. 

“So…”

“So?”

There was a long pause between the two of you. 

“What are we?” you asked. 

He sighed. “No point in skirting around it anymore, so here’s me being honest. I care about you - a lot - but I can only offer you so much.”

“You’re still beating around the bush.”

“What I mean is: I want to be with you -”

“- me too. Problem solved.”

“But I need you to know what you’re getting yourself into. I can’t give you the fairy tale romance that you deserve.”

“Who says I want a fairy tale romance?”

“Who wouldn’t?”

“Realists who know there’s no point in wishing for something that they’ll never get.”

“Alright, Negative Nancy.”

“Pot calling the kettle black.”

“I’ve been pretty positive this whole morning.”

“True.”

You took a sip of your coffee. Leon had learned the way you’d liked it by now. It wasn’t hard to brew a pot of coffee, but it was still nice to have someone do it for you, and do it right. 

“Can we pick up where we left off last night?” you asked. 

“Am I getting handcuffed to the chair again? Because I’m pretty sure you sucked me dry earlier. I ain’t got nothing left to give you - in that department.”

He probably knew what you meant and was only trying to derail the conversation, feeling uncomfortable with the idea of commitment, but you weren't going to let him get away with it. No commitment, no sex. You didn't say the ultimatum out loud, but you stood your ground. 

“What I meant was: I wanna be a part of your life. I wanna meet your friends. I don’t wanna be some dirty little secret of yours.”

“You were never some dirty little secret. But, if you want to meet my friends, then I can try to set something up.”

And, to your surprise, he did set something up.

That Friday, Leon made plans for the two of you to meet up with Chris, Claire and Jill at a restaurant-bar type establishment. When you arrived, the group had already gotten a table. Leon introduced you to them, acknowledging - a bit awkwardly - that you’d already met Chris. Luckily, Jill had gotten a briefing before you’d gotten there.

“Leon,” Jill said, “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Am I in trouble?”

“I hope not.”

She pulled him off to the side and you watched them talk for a moment, trying to gauge if she was making any advances or not.

Chris had gotten up to grab another round of drinks, so it was just you and Claire at the table.

“Don’t worry,” Claire said, “Jill’s probably chewing him out for the incident. Plus, she’s gay, so you don’t have to worry about her stealing your man.”

“Oh, that’s cool. I get paranoid about that stuff sometimes. I actually thought you and Leon might be together when I saw you at the club together that night…”

“Me and Leon? That’s practically incest. He’s like a second brother to me.”

“That’s sweet. I’m glad that he has you all in his life.”

“Me too. Even though he’s a pain in the ass sometimes.”

You laughed because you could see how Leon could be a bit of a pain. 

“You two,” Chris called, interrupting your chat, “C’mere. We’re playing pool.”

“You up for it?” Claire asked.

“I’ve never played before.”

“You should get Leon to teach you. He’s actually pretty good.”

“Leon, Jill,” Chris rounded them up, too.

Leon put his arm around your waist once you’d both made your way over to the pool table.

He had a mischievous glint in his eye that told you he was planning on playing another game with you, not just pool.

Once it was your turn, Leon, opportunistically, was pressed up against you, one hand guiding yours through the motions. You were bending over the table to get the perfect shot, only half-intentionally grinding on Leon in the process. To your delight, he was already hard.

“Nice shot, baby,” he said, breath hot against your ear.

At some point mid-game, Claire announced that she and Jill would be taking a trip to the ladies room and that you would be going with them - for girl-talk. 

Jill and Claire, especially Claire, had had a decent amount to drink that night already, so there was a playful attitude in the air. 

“So, you and Leon?” Jill prompted.

“Yep, me and Leon.”

“How’s it going between the two of you? I know about the whole… incident… but he seems really happy.”

“It’s good. We’re doing good. We’ve made up since the incident.”

“I hope he apologized big time,” Claire said.

“Says he did,” Jill said with a knowing smile. He must’ve told her about how you’d made him beg for forgiveness. 

“How long have you guys been together?”

“Officially, not very long, but we’ve known each other for a while.”

“How did you two meet?”

The whole thing was starting to feel like an interrogation, not because Jill and Claire were harsh because they weren’t, but because your initial meeting with Leon was quite literally somewhat criminal in nature.

“At a bar like 4 years ago… but we only saw each other twice back then and reconnected earlier this year.”

“You said you saw him twice? You met drunk Leon and gave him a second date?!”

You all laughed, knowing about his drunken antics. Drunk Leon was still Leon, and therefore, sexy as hell, but sober Leon was sweet and good and sexier. The age-gap and other oddities about your relationship went unacknowledged and you were grateful about that. 

When you returned a few minutes later, you continued the game where you left off, finishing out the round and then all parting ways to go home. 

Since Leon hadn’t been drinking, he was able to drive you both home. He’d offered a ride to the others, but they declined. Maybe they had some sort of bro-code or they could just sense the tension between the two of you. In hindsight, it was probably obvious how badly you two wanted each other. 

Leon drove with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your thigh. His fingers played with the hem of your dress and all the car accident stories you’d heard started to make sense. Danger be damned, you weren’t going to pass up the opportunity to tease him back. Evident by the bulge in his pants, which you inched your hand towards, Leon wanted you too. He didn’t stop you at first, he let you massage him lightly over his jeans, but once you went for his belt, he said, “are you trying to cause a car accident?”.

“No. I just wanna touch you.”

“Can you please wait until we get home?”

“I don’t wanna wait, daddy.”

His breathing changed at ‘daddy’. “What do you want me to do? Pull over and fuck you?”

“Please, daddy.”

Leon pulled into the next empty parking lot. It was near a park, somewhat secluded and shady. 

Leon parked the car and turned it off.

“Get in the back seat,” he said, nodding to you.

You climbed over the center console instead of getting out of the car the grown up way, which is what Leon did. 

You were on top of Leon in the back seat of his car in your cute sundress, equally as utilitarian as the tight little skirt you wore at the bar the first time you’d slept with Leon, but this was more innocuous. No one, except Leon, knew you wore it for easy access. 

You skipped the preamble and sunk down on Leon’s cock, not even bothering to remove your panties. You watched Leon’s eyes roll back and his lips part, letting out a low groan at the feeling of bottoming out inside you. 

You whimpered at the feeling of him inside you. Without the foreplay, he felt even bigger than usual. It wasn’t painful, though, or if it was, it was the good kind of painful. 

You weren’t anywhere near as strong as Leon in any respect, had limited stamina in comparison to him, and although you’d been on top once before, you quickly began to realize the toll it took on your thighs. The previous time you’d been on top, the power trip was surely fueling your ability to ride Leon. This time, he was allowed to touch you and he took advantage of that opportunity. His hands never left your body. They were grabbing your tits, your waist, your ass, eventually staking their claim on your hips. You’d clearly grown tired of this position - physically, speaking - your legs were trembling and you continued to shakily whimper with every stroke of his dick against your sensitive spot. Leon took this opportunity to steady your hips with his big hands, leaving marks on you, you’d come to find, and force you down onto him. You could feel his tip knocking at your cervix, but riding on his own desire, Leon mindlessly, mercilessly bucked his hips up into you. 

You reached down to play with your clit, but he stopped you, replacing your fingers with his own, making the experience even more pleasurable. Your nails were digging into his shoulders as you hung onto him for dear life and just like the slap in the face, he liked this kind of pain, moaning shamelessly when he felt your long nails scrape his skin. 

As a master of spur-of-the-moment arousal-fueled dirty talk, you said, “I want you to put a baby in me, daddy”. 

Leon didn’t blink. He was so close to the edge that his rational mind had left the situation. And the filthy part of his psyche that remained found your declaration particularly arousing. 

“Yeah? You want daddy to put a baby in you, huh?” Leon said, fucking you at a ruthless pace. 

“Uh-huh,” you moaned, only spurring him on further. 

“Baby, I’m gonna come,” Leon was wide-eyed and frantic. 

“Don’t pull out,” you whined. 

Leon came with a strangled moan and the sound of him letting go like that drove you over the edge at the same time. He let your body flop onto his as he let his own weight hit the seat. Leon was covered in sweat, breathing heavily. You would’ve thought he’d run a marathon if you didn’t know any better. 

You slept well that night. 

[rosemariiy]

Lottie's Sextape

Transfem!Lottie Matthews x fem reader

Summary: After a sex tape of Lottie Matthews and her teammate got leaked, every girl in school is interested in sleeping with her, including, you. (4.2k words)

Warnings: con/non-con, transfem!Lottie, blowjobs, rough sex, creampies, smut, breeding kink. MDNI.

High school was never the same since that thing happened.

The thing that caused every student to look down on their phone, whispering gossip buzz all day from the morning ‘till the end of school. Of course, You were one of them. You weren’t any better. It was the video of Lottie Matthewsfucking her teammate in the locker room, for fuck’s sake. Of course, you can’t resist. You have a crush on the high school’s center back for a year now. How can anyone resist Lottie Matthews?

But you act all cool in front of your friends. Even when they’re talking about how hot Lottie was in that video. You just stay calm and unbothered, pretending like you weren’t just fingering yourself to that video every night before you fell asleep or didn’t know how hot she was with the fact that Lottie was still wearing her jersey uniform when she fucked her teammate raw without a condom.

You just sat in the cafeteria with your friends and listened while they kept talking and talking about Lottie. You have a slight smile on your face. No one needs to know your dirty thought that always wandered back to the picture of Lottie’s cock in that video. How you wish that her tall figure would press against your body one day and fucks you like you’re her toy.

“Ugh, she’s so dreamy.”

Rebeka said with a heart-eyes as she watched Lottie from across the room. She’s sitting with the yellowjackets, a smile painting her face, and you assume it was from one of Van’s jokes.

“She is so sweet and nice,” Emily speaks, looking at Lottie. “Never thought she would be that wild at sex.”

“Well, she plays soccer. They’re all players.” You finally said. “You know? Like, all the jocks that think they’re hot and sleeping with women are just some rewards for their success.”

Emily and Rebeka roll their eyes at your comment. “Y/N, you’re so boring.”

“I’m not?”

“Yes, you are.” Emily groans. She rests her chin on her palm as she continues to watch Lottie. “But even if you were right, I wouldn’t mind being her reward, though. She has a big dick and fucks like she wanted to breed me. It’s kind of hot.”

You try to hide the pink blush from your cheeks by eating a slice of apple from your plate.

“Gross!”

“What? A girl can dream!”

“It was bad enough that someone leaked the tape without her consent. I don’t think we should be talking about Lottie that way.” You pouted at Emily, and it wasn’t a lie. “She’s still a teenage girl and all, you know? It’s her privacy.”

Rebeka scoffs, “Tell me you don’t have her video saved in your phone?”

“I don’t!”

“You’re really a boring person, y/n.”

You know you’re being a hypocrite. If anyone in this school is obsessed with that tape, it would be you. But your point still stands: fantasizing about Lottie in your own room at night wouldn’t harm anyone, but to gossip about it out loud like this is simply rude. You are not a good person, but at least you have boundaries.

Lottie didn’t need to know how much of a creep you were. That would scare her and make her feel bad. You don’t want that.

“Maybe this leaked tape thing is good for her,” Rebeka said.

“How so?”

The three of you turn toward Lottie’s table again. She’s laughing with her teammates.

“I heard the girls and guys are chasing after her,” Rebeka grinned at you. “Some of them even get to suck her dick in the library. She is a hot meat now.”

“Good for her,” Emily said with a dreamy sigh. “Good for them.”

“Fuck, guys. She’s looking at us!”

Rebeka whispered, but it was too late. You already locked eyes with Lottie and your heart is pounding in your chest as she smiles softly at you at the same time the image of some girl sucking Lottie’s cock in the library is running clearly in your mind.

It’s bad timing, and it drives you crazy. You’re still stuck in that imagination that Lottie would fuck the girl's face, and she would definitely gag with tears. You feel your pussy clenching around nothing you locked eyes with her. Your throat is dry, and your mouth parts. You feel horny and jealous at the same time.

Lottie frowns at you and tilts her head to the side. You quickly snap out of your fantasy.

“I—I need to go to the bathroom.”

The school finally ended. You’re walking past the soccer field when the ball hits your head so hard that it knocks you out on the floor.

“Fuck!”

“Hey, are you okay?”

You open your eyes and see the whole yellowjackets staring at you. But most importantly, it’s Lottie who kneels next to you and cups your face in worry.

“I’m so sorry,” Lottie frowns. You almost forgot the pain in your head for a moment. “Y/N... can you hear me?”

Lottie rests your head in her lap. You try to escape her gaze and catch some air but it causes your head to spin more with the smell of Lottie’s perfume and sweat from training.

She looks at you with concern, her eye brown frowns, her eyes soft like a deer. You couldn’t find a single word to say other than breathing heavily on her lap.

“Y—Yes, I can hear you.”

“I’m sorry.” Lottie looks like she could cry. “Let me take care of you.”

You let Lottie carry you in her arms to the car. Her strong arms hold you tight, her warmth comforting you as you try to hold onto consciousness.

“Look, I’m taking you to the hospital, okay?” Lottie says softly, gently setting you down on the passenger seat. You fumble with your seatbelt, your fingers numb from the pain.

“I—I don’t want to go to the hospital.” You whimper, your head throbbing.

“But Y/N, you might have a concussion. I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Lottie insists, staring at you with concern in her eyes. You can’t help but feel a strange warmth in your chest.

“No, please,” You pleas “I just wanna go home.”

Lottie study you for a moment before nodding softly.

She starts the car and drives with extreme care, making sure to keep you safe.

The car ride was silent, except for the occasional loud inhale and exhale of breath from you. Lottie glanced at you nervously, her fingers gripping the steering wheel tightly. She knew she had to get you home, but more than that, she wanted to make sure you were okay.

When you finally arrived at your house, Lottie carefully guided you inside, your legs feeling wobbly and weak. You stumbled towards the couch, and without hesitation, Lottie helped you lay down.

"Let me get you some ice for that," she said, rushing to the kitchen to find an ice pack. Gently, she placed it on the back of your head, trying to alleviate the pain.

As she sits beside you, the notifications pop up on your phone. It’s a message from Rebeka, sending a screenshot of Lottie’s dick in that video with a text that said, ‘Are you sure you don’t want this monster to destroy you as her reward? Lol’

Follows with a text from Emily that says ‘Yeah, y/n. Maybe getting some pound town might fix your boring personality! Xoxo’

Your face is turning red. “Lottie, I—”

You're suddenly at a loss for words. You didn't expect to be caught in this situation, especially with Lottie sitting right here close to you.

Her facial is stoic, and you couldn't read her mind. She bites her lip and looks at you.

“Is that what you guys were talking about at lunch? My sextape?”

“It’s not what you think. I mean—”

“Yeah?” She asked, "Then why are those girls sending you messages about my dick?" her voice was filled with wariness, and your heart sank.

You swallow hard, your mind racing. You knew Lottie had been through enough, and you didn't want to add to her torment. "Look, Lottie, I swear to you that—"

She interrupts you with a wave of her hand. Lottie gets up from the couch, the ice pack still clutched in her fist. She lets go of the ice pack and stares at you with her dark gaze.

“My sex life is so interesting to you, huh?” Lottie stands in front of you while you’re still lying on the couch.

She is still in her jersey, and her crotch is directly in front of your face. Your breath hitched when Lottie stepped closer. You can smell the sweat from her soccer shorts.

“What are you doing?” You whispered, eyes locking on her crotch. You see the outline of her semi-hard cock and can’t help but wonder what is going to happen next.

“Well, since you like to talk about my dick that much,” Lottie husked and grabbed the back of your hair, pulling your head closer to her bulge. “Why don’t you come and suck it like a slut that you are?”

As she pulled you closer, you could feel her hard cock pressing against your face, its warmth radiating through the fabric of her soccer shorts. Your heart raced, and you panicked for a moment, realizing that you had no idea how to handle this situation. But then, something strange happened – part of you wanted this; part of you was curious and aroused by her dominance.

"Are you serious, Lottie?" You managed to choke out, your voice trembling with fear and desire.

She smirked, her eyes gleaming with a mix of amusement and determination. "Oh yeah," she said, "I want to see if you're as good at sucking cock as you are at talking about it."

With that, she spring her cock free from her shorts and roughly yanked your head forward, positioning your mouth directly over her erection. It stands tall and proud with a big mushroom head that leaks with pre-cum. You hesitated for a moment before closing your lips around the head, feeling the rough skin and adjusting to the slight curve of her thick veiny cock.

"Go on," she growls, her voice a low, guttural command. "Prove that you're a slut." Lottie's hips thrust forward, bringing her cock closer to your mouth. "Show me how much you love it."

As your lips wrapped around the head of her cock, a moan escaped Lottie's throat, and you could feel the tremble of her thighs on your cheeks. Your friends had been right - this was entirely different from anything you’d ever done before, and you couldn't help but feel like you were somehow being punished for your curiosity.

Your heart raced as you took her into your mouth, the taste of her pre-cum salty and unexpectedly sweet. You hesitated, unsure of what you were doing, but your desire to explore this new experience overpowered your fear. You began to suck gently, your tongue tracing the length of her shaft, eliciting a surprised laugh from Lottie.

"That's it, little slut," she whispered, her fingers running through your hair. "You're such a good little cock-sucker." Her words were a mix of encouragement and tasting. You wanted to protest, to say that you weren't a slut, but the rhythm of her hips and the gentle slapping of her balls on your lips made it impossible to find the words. You moaned around her dick, your throat adjusting to the unfamiliar feel of her cock in your mouth.

Lottie groaned, her hips moving faster now, her control slipping as she let herself enjoy the feeling of your mouth on her cock. You tried to focus on the pleasure, the warmth radiating from her body, the way her hand gently held your head. But part of you couldn't help but think about how wrong it all was.

"You're so good at this," Lottie whispered, her breath ragged. She pulled your head away from her cock, and you looked up at her, your eyes wide with fear and curiosity. "Now you just have to bear with me and pay for your disrespectful friends.”

With that, she pushed you back onto the couch, straddling you. Her shorts were still on, but her cock and balls were out of the waistband. It is covered in your saliva, from the head to the balls. It was hard and thick, its skin was a slightly dark tone, and You couldn't help but feel a mixture of fear and arousal.

“Please, Lottie, I’m sorry.”

Lottie shakes her head. “You need to be punished.”

"Now, let's see if you're as good at sucking as you are at pleasing," Lottie said, her voice low and seductive. She grabbed your head and pulled you toward her, positioning her cock again at the entrance of your lips. You hesitated for a moment, your heart racing with fear and arousal. You weren't sure if you were ready for this, but the curves of Lottie's body and her dominant tone compelled you to explore this new territory.

As you slowly took her into your mouth once again, you felt a rush of pleasure that you’d never experienced before. It was so different from your previous encounters. But as you continued to suck, you realized that you were in control of your desires.

"That's it, y/n," Lottie encouraged, her voice low and sultry. "You're such a good little cock-sucker."

Her words brought a strange mix of pride and guilt, but you couldn't deny the pleasure that you were experiencing.

"Oh, fuck, yeah," Lottie moaned, her hips thrusting harder against your face. "Suck my cock, you slut."

You didn't know if you were doing it right, but you were determined to please her. You tried to suck harder, to experiment with different techniques, to see what would make her feel good.

"Oh, y/n, you're so good at this," Lottie panted, her words heavy with desire. "You're such a natural."

As she continued to fuck your face, Your legs spread a little, feeling your panty sticky with your wetness.

"That's it, baby," Lottie gasped, her voice hoarse with pleasure. "Make me cum with your mouth.”

You redoubled your efforts, your tongue tracing the length of her shaft while your fingers played with her balls. Lottie's moans grew louder, and her cock fucked harder against your mouth. You felt her cock throbbing in your mouth, and you knew she was close.

"I'm gonna cum, baby," she breathed, her voice heavy with lust. "You’re just like a fuck doll.”

The taste of her pre-cum and the thought that you were giving Lottie pleasure was pushing you to the brink. Your cunt is clenching painfully, screaming to get fucks.

"Oh, fuck, y/n. I'm cumming, fucking take it, fucking take my cum."

As Lottie's orgasm hit, her body shuddered, and her cock pulsed in your mouth. You felt her cum flooding your throat, and you swallowed it down, relishing the taste.

You gulped down Lottie's cum, feeling it trickle down your throat and into your stomach. You couldn't believe you had just done that, but you also couldn't deny the feeling of power and control that came with it.

As you tried to catch your breath. Lottie gets up, putting her phone on the table like she was filming a video. You didn’t have time to protest when Lottie was taking your pants off along with your ruined panty.

She clicks her tongue and smirks,

“Y/N, that horny, huh?”

You feel like the urge to cry, “Lottie, please,”

“Now you’ll know what’s like to have an entire school talking about your pussy,” Lottie positioned herself between your legs, spread you wide as her big cock is ready to fucks your cunt.

"You'll know what is like to hear people gossip about you all the time."

As Lottie's cock began to press against your wet folds, you couldn't deny the heat that was spreading between your legs.

You were ashamed of the arousal that was building, but it was impossible to ignore. With a deep breath, you closed your eyes and steeled yourself for the inevitable.

Lottie moved slowly, sliding her thick, veiny cock into your wet, eager cunt. The sensation was unlike anything you had ever felt before, and you couldn't help but let out a soft moan as Lottie's cock filled you completely.

"Do you like that, Y/N?"

Your breaths came out ragged and uneven as Lottie relentlessly fucked you, her thrusts growing deeper and faster. The pain from her cock inside you was intense, but it was the most wonderful pain you had ever experienced. Each thrust brought you closer to the edge, the sensation of your pussy clenching around her cock sending shivers down your spine.

You tried to focus on the pleasure, to find the strength to enjoy it, but your mind was filled with a mix of guilt and embarrassment. You had always been a good girl, never daring to explore your desires. But now, in Lottie's arms, you couldn't deny how much you wanted this.

Her pace was unrelenting, Lottie's cock pounding into you harder and faster with every passing second. You struggled to stay grounded, to hold back the waves of pleasure building within you.

"Is this what you've been craving all this time?" Lottie asked, her voice low and seductive.

You couldn't find the words to answer, your mind overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through you. You moaned loud, your body trembling with each thrust as Lottie's cock stretched you wide, filling you in a way you never thought possible.

"Answer me,"

"Yes!" you cried "Fuck, you're so big."

Lottie's thick veins felt like they were massaging your inner walls with each stroke, sending shocks of pleasure through your entire body. The pain had subsided, replaced by an intense rush of pleasure that left you breathless.

As Lottie's thrusts grew more intense, you could feel the familiar tightening in your stomach, the telltale signs of an impending orgasm. You clawed at Lottie's arm, her cock driving deeper and harder into you.

"Please," you gasped, your voice barely above a whisper.

Lottie leaned down, her tongue tracing the line of your jaw before whispering in your ear, "Then let go, Y/N. Cum on my cock." Lottie grunts, holding your hips in place as she fucks you like you were her fucks toy "And I'll breed you with my cum."

You felt her hand on your hip, holding you in place as her cock continued to pound into you, the sensations became too much to handle. Your orgasm was building, and you could feel it surge through your body, threatening to take control of your mind.

"Please, Lottie," you gasped, your voice hoarse and pleading.

Lottie’s eyes darkened, and the intensity of her thrusts increased, her cock drilling deep within you with each powerful surge. You could feel your orgasm drawing near, and you knew that you had to let go. You had to give in to the pleasure.

"Yes, Lottie," you cried out, your body trembling uncontrollably. "Fuck me, make me cum."

Lottie's cock continued to thrust relentlessly, each stroke bringing you closer to the edge. Finally, you could take it no longer.

As you reached the peak of your orgasm, your body convulsed, your pussy clenched tightly around Lottie's cock, milking her for every last drop. Your breaths came out in short, sharp gasps. You felt the warm, sticky sensation of Lottie's cum shooting deep inside you, painting your insides with her seed.

Lottie's cock twitched and throbbed inside you as she released her load, and your pussy spasmed with each pulse of her seed. The pleasure was almost too much to bear, and you cried out in ecstasy, your body trembling uncontrollably in the aftermath of your orgasm.

But Lottie didn't stop. After her first cum, Lottie is still fucking your ruined cunt. When she says she wanted to breed you, she meant it.

"Lottie," You cried out, "I- I just came, I can't take it."

Lottie spread your legs wider and locks you in place as she pounds her thick cock into you. She moans like a mess, head throwing back in pleasure.

"Your pussy feels so good taking my cock, Y/N. Fuck" Lottie closes her eyes, and you look like a mess as she uses you as her cum dump. "I'm going to fucking fill you, you deserved this after what you did to me."

You didn't know how much more you could take, but Lottie wasn't stopping. Her cock was impossibly thick, and with each thrust, you felt like you were being split open. Your pussy was slick with her cum and yours, and you could feel the stickiness coating your inner walls.

Lottie's pumping became more erratic, her hips thrusting harder and faster. Her breaths were ragged, and her moans filled the room. You could hear the wet slapping sound of her cock sliding in and out of your cunt, and you knew that soon, you wouldn't be able to hold back.

"Lottie," you pleaded, your voice hoarse from all the pleasure and pain. "I'm going to cum again."

Lottie looked down at you, her eyes dark and intense. "Do it, Y/N. Look at the camera and cum."

You whimpered as Lottie's cock continued to relentlessly plow into your ruined cunt. You could feel the warmth on your face as you gasped for air. Lottie's cock was a constant reminder of your shame, and you couldn't help but let out a soft whine as she pumped into you.

"Just cum, Y/N," Lottie growled, her voice horse from her own arousal. "Let everyone see how much you love my cock. Let them see how dirty you are."

You tried to fight the urge, but it was getting harder and harder. Lottie's cock was like a drug, and you were already hooked. You could feel your orgasm building, the waves of pleasure growing stronger with each thrust.

"Lottie," you gasped, your voice barely audible above the sound of your own moans. "I'm cuming."

Lottie's cock swelled inside you, stretching your pussy further than you ever thought possible. The pleasure was intense, and you could feel the familiar heat building in your core. You clawed at Lottie's arms, your hips bucking wildly as your orgasm swept over you.

"Yes," Lottie growled, her pace never slowing down. "Jesus fuck, I'm coming."

Your body convulsed, your pussy spasming around Lottie's cock as you cried out in ecstasy. You could feel her cum pumping into you, filling you up and making you feel even more dirty and used.

Lottie continued to fuck you, her pace unrelenting as she drove her cock deeper and harder. You felt like her plaything, her fuck toy to do with as she pleased.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Lottie's body shuddered, and she let out a long, guttural moan as she reached her third release. Her cock twitched and throbbed inside you, filling your pussy with her cum. You felt like you were overflowing like your pussy was going to burst from the sheer amount of cum being pumped into you.

But Lottie wasn't done yet. She pulled out of you, her cock glistening with a mixture of your juices and her cum. She grabbed your hair and pulled you to your knees, shoving her cock back into your mouth.

"Clean me off, slut," Lottie growled, her voice thick with lust.

You didn't resist, your mouth watering as your tongue darted out to lick up the cum that coated Lottie's cock. You suckled and swallowed, greedily taking in every last drop of her seed, wanting to feel it inside you forever.

As your lips wrapped around Lottie's cock, she began to thrust rhythmically, fucking your throat as she had fucked your pussy. You could feel every inch of her thick length as she drove it deep into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat again and again. You could taste the salty tang of her cum mixed with the sweetness of your own arousal, and you couldn't get enough.

Lottie's thrusts became more urgent, and she pulled your head closer, burying her cock deeper into your throat. You gagged slightly, but Lottie pushed forward, undeterred. You could feel her hands gripping your hair tightly, using you as her personal fuck toy.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N," Lottie growled, her voice thick with lust. "Blame your bitch friends for this."

With one last thrust, Lottie's body stiffened, and she released another stream of cum down your throat. You swallowed eagerly, wanting to feel her cum fill every inch of you.

Finally, Lottie pulled out of your mouth, her cock shiny and wet from your saliva and her cum. She stepped back, her eyes dark and triumphant.

"There you go," Lottie said, her voice low and sultry. "Now you're properly bred."

You lay there on the floor, gasping for air, your body still trembling from the intensity of your orgasms. You could feel Lottie's cum leaking out of you, messily coating your inner thighs.

"I hope you're happy, Y/N," Lottie said, grabbing her phone and stopping the video recording. Her voice is the last thing you hear before you fall asleep.

Everyone at the school is going to slut shame you. But that’s okay. You have to pay the price.