celestial surveillance + some garden of eden parallels
For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. - Luke 8:17 (NIV)
Over and over, we see how the bookshop feels safe/private while simultaneously being sort of a fishbowl, leaving its inhabitants quite exposed to onlookers. *garden of eden vibes*
Similarly, Aziraphale and Crowley tried to conduct a class-A surreptitious 6000+ year agreement/slowburn romance and yet their 25 Lazarii relationship is fairly obvious to others.
Reminiscent of how Crowley is painfully aware that nothing is certain and time is horribly finite, Aziraphale lives with the knowledge that anything he does or says can be used against him—or much worse, used against Crowley or others our little guardian cares about. Unlike his emotional support demon, however, Aziraphale was afraid Before the Beginning, before The Fall.
While Upstairs aren't the only ones watching, they have the potential to be the most dangerous threat (emphasis on potential bc they have to take an interest and also maybe stumble into important clues): The heavenly office overlooks the entire world. Where Hell had to send Furfur to the theatre with a camera, Heaven's got Earth Observation Files they can pull up to see what someone was doing at any point in history—not even St. James Park can keep you anonymous in the face of thirty-seven classes of scriveners/recording angels!
Aziraphale may tend to underestimate danger in general because of his misplaced hope that Heaven is truly Good, but in the same way that he can be both clever and stupid, I think he trusts Heaven and fears it at the same time. Why else would he be so worried about breaking their rules even when he knows they are wrong?
Of course, Aziraphale is also a courageous little bastard with a deity-defying protective streak! Despite Heaven's indoctrination, we see him navigating all sorts of grey area as he learns to 'blur the edges'. But he knows it isn’t safe to do that openly. He keeps this more human side hidden and tries not to think too hard about why doing good is wrong in heavens eyes. (lol other people's aziraphale metas are my main food group rn)
At the end of S2, we see him leave A.Z. Garden & Co. after tasting the forbidden fruit large oat milk latte, armed with his naïve/misguided 'knowledge of Good and Evil'. (and perhaps he knows he can't 'let the sun can’t go down' on him in Soho lest the the Metatron mete out death instead of coffees?) When Adam and Eve left Eden, Aziraphale and Crowley observed from above. When the angel and demon leave their own garden, we get the sense that they are also being watched.
(also idk if this is anything but Adam facing off against the lion while Eve looks on in the bg seemed a bit like Crowley watching Aziraphale walk into danger w the Metatron. could be a good sign since the lion gets turned into salami)
There are hints at the end of S2 that the watching is getting a little a spicier (at least I think they are hints haha): the bookshop windows are still broken during the last part of E6, further decreasing privacy; the zombies used binoculars to watch A&C from the Dirty Donkey under cover of darkness in 1941 but the Metatron just looks across the road in the light of day. And then there's the whole 'hefty jigger of almond syrup'.
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TD World Tour AU, where Noah doesn't tell Owen that Alejandro is an eel in London... In Area 51, Noah is accidentally splashed with an alien truth potion (which wears off after a few days) and he talks to Owen... Owen asks Noah what he truly thinks about Alejandro, and Truth-Potion Affected Noah says this: "I have mixed feelings for Alejandro. He's a brilliant, interesting guy and I like him, but I don't trust him. He's like a slippery eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. Basically, Heather with social skills. Wait a minute, why am I telling you this?!"... What if Alejandro secretly heard Noah call him all those conflicting things + Alejandro also learns that Noah is affected with an alien truth potion? 👽
Alright, you got me. I'm an absolute sucker for truth potion plots, especially when the character(s) effected by them are usually either pathological liars or incredibly secretive- of which Noah absolutely falls into the second category, given he shares so little personal information.
I'll gloss over why Noah declined to shit-talk Alejandro in London (though there's so many ways this change in behaviour could be justified) since the focal point of this hypothetical centred around their time in Nevada, so let's start from the beginning of the Area 51 challenge.
Area 51:
Before we start, it'll have to be established that no one was eliminated in London. Let's say that the majority vote went towards Duncan (team CIRRRRH voted him out immediately because they found his re-admission to the competition unfair, I guess. I imagine he'd also vote himself, if not as a plan to escape the competition he'd been actively skiving from, then just as an act of spite) but Chris instead claimed it was a rewards challenge- much like he does in Greece- because he doesn't want to let Duncan slip away again so soon.
I see no reason to alter the first part of the challenge- the sneaking into Area 51 portion- since team CIRRRRH's course of entry is fairly straightforward. Noah's presence doesn't make much of a difference to how it would play out; the majority of them throw their rocks and run, Owen gets lasered over the fence and Owen-napped, ect ect.
When both teams have managed to make their way into the Black Box Warehouse, Noah immediately suggests they should prioritise rescuing Owen. Tyler's quick to agree, since he's a firm believer in the "no man left behind" mentality (and he probably makes a not-so-subtle jab towards Noah for his chance of tune compared to London, where both he and Owen did leave Tyler behind) leaving Duncan and Alejandro to split from the group- Duncan in search of Gwen, and Alejandro just takes the opportunity to finally be free from his 'incompetent teammates' and prioritises finding an artifact.
Noah and Tyler come across the contraption Owen's trapped in, Tyler punches it in a futile effort to break it open, and the face hugger cube drops into Noah's hands. This is where the point of divergence comes into play; Tyler has his E.T. moment with one of the face huggers, but Noah- who's a tad bit more observant than Alejandro, and used to dodging surprise attacks from his various older siblings (and Izzy)- anticipates his own face hugger attack and promptly starts a game of cat-and-mouse with a taser alien hot on his heels.
The commotion of which attracts the rest of his team. Alejandro and Duncan arrive on the scene to see Tyler being electrocuted by an alien and Noah running in circles evading another.
Duncan attempts to rip the face hugger from Tyler's face, finding success at the cost of sending Tyler trampling into Owen's captive contraption (essentially taking Alejandro's canonical place in this scene) and inadvertently freeing Owen.
Meanwhile, Alejandro swipes up the nearest box he can find and snags the alien chasing Noah, who's still very loudly panicking as he flees, and succeeds! The alien is swiftly captured into the box, netting team CIRRRRH their artifact, and Noah promptly goes careening into the nearest tower of junk in his face hugger-fuelled hysteria. This causes another box to topple from the peak of the tower, landing directly on Noah's head and spilling its contents onto the bookworm- glass vials filled with a mysterious, luminescent cobalt blue liquid shatter into pieces drenching Noah in whatever they contained.
(i.e. truth potion.)
Owen has his false-amnesia moment, characterised by his Joker makeover, and Alejandro enacts his revenge post-hypnotic suggestion after being addressed as "Al" one too many times.
Noah, understandably, swiftly objects to Owen's treatment and demands that Alejandro snap him out of it. Alejandro concedes, and Owen's brought back to himself. At least, for a moment, before the fatigue of having his mind messed with sends Owen into near-catatonia (the same as canon), meaning he has to be ferried through the Warehouse and back to the Jet by Alejandro and Duncan.
Things carry on canonically from there; Noah's just sort of there for the most part, though there'd be a minor hint to his newfound proclivity for honesty. Something along the lines of him giving an uncharacteristically honest answer to Owen as to who he's voting- Tyler, of course, since he was the one who ultimately threw the challenge for them... and also because Tyler still holds some resentment towards Noah for what happened in London, and Noah feels guilty about it every time he looks at the jock. Wait, why did he say that?
Sometime between this and the elimination scene, Noah wipes the truth-goop off of himself, but not before the effects have already started.
Tyler's voted out, yada yada yada.
The Jet:
Thus begins the start of "Picnic at Hanging Dork". Team CIRRRRH, consisting of just Alejandro, Duncan, Owen and Noah, are slumming it up in the Economy Cabin. Alejandro tries to rally his team by asking how to break apart Courtney and Heather's tentative co-operation. Owen suggests having Alejandro seduce Heather, since it worked for both Bridgette and Leshawna. Duncan makes his "Babe Olympics" comment. Noah pipes up that playing with someone's feelings is pretty scummy, even for someone competing for a million dollars.
Alejandro takes Noah's reluctance towards his methodology poorly; he hadn't spoken up before, when Alejandro had utilized the same strategy against other girls- and even Owen noticed that, so surely Noah did too- so why was he to outwardly against him using the same tricks? Duncan agrees, and offers ''his'' idea of having Alejandro flirt with Courtney to throw both her and Heather off their games (since Heather has an obvious crush on Alejandro), and things follow canon.
Then, the scene between Alejandro and Courtney happens. Noah scoffs at the display from the side lines, prompting Owen to ask him why he's so against Alejandro's plan.
"I mean, you never said anything before, when he flirted with Bridgette and Leshawna." Owen comments, light-hearted in nature but with an underlying questioning tone.
Noah's eyes flicker with a cobalt glow, easily mistaken for a trick of the light, and he speaks without even thinking.
"Yeah, because I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Bridgette was happenstance, and Leshawna's whole deal could've been a coincidence, or some massive misunderstanding. But this?" Noah extends an accusing hand out towards a smug looking Alejandro, then pans it over to a flattered Courtney, "He's outright toying with Courtney's feelings after she was cheated on in front of an international audience. It's scummy."
Owen nods in understanding, momentary contemplation evident in the pouted curve of his lips, and he chimes in.
"Does that mean you don't like Al?"
"I never said that."
"Well, how do you feel about him, then?"
Again, a flash of blue light against the hickory backdrop of Noah's eyes, and he responds thoughtlessly.
"I guess I have mixed feelings about him. On the one hand, he's slippery, like an eel dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil. He's like if you took all of the worst aspects of Heather, wrapped them up in a pretty package, and gave them social skills..." He holds his hands out before him in a scale-like manner, with the left tipped downwards and tie right raised by his chin. Then, the two hands swap positions.
"And on the other hand, he's brilliant. I've never met anyone as talented as Alejandro; he's smart, he's athletic, he's funny. It's almost unfair just how perfect everything about him is- even his face is perfect. It's ridiculous! Infuriating, even. It's so hard to dislike him, even when I know he's bad news, but that doesn't mean I trust him."
Owen stands slack jawed beside his best friend, both impressed and stunned at the raw honesty of Noah's tirade. Noah, now a little more aware of himself, realises that he's said more than he intended to- more than he thinks he's ever spoken in one go throughout the entirety of Total Drama. He's not usually one for speeches, after all, let alone honest ones.
He's always been the type to play his cards close to his chest, so why...?
"I, uh, didn't mean to go off like that."
And he also didn't mean to admit it, either. What was going on?
The look Owen gives him is, in a word, vivid. The blonde has a shit-eating grin stretching across his face, a sort of elated smugness practically glowing from his features.
"Sounds like someone has a cruuuush!~"
What? No? No! Not at all, where would Owen even get that idea?!
Noah splutters to correct Owen's assumption (to disastrous results, because he does sort-of has a crush on Alejandro, so the truth potion doesn't allow him to outright deny it), and in his preoccupied state he misses how a calculating pair of sage green eyes never seems to stray from him.
Alejandro has a lot to think about in regards to a certain cynic, it seems.
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Flirty!MultiVillains x Clueless!Reader || Excerpts / Reactions
Plot: The friendzone is a many splendored thing... not. (You friendzone them)
Includes: Candy Pop, Dark Link, Inkubus, Long John Silver, and Oogie Boogie.
Warnings: Sexual references!! Derogatory and degrading statements!! These are mostly from the villain’s point of view. Feminine pet names used (Especially in Silver's. He consistently uses 'lass'). Oh also Inkubus may have some sinister intentions... but they are not disclosed and honestly what do we expect. Unedited as of yet.
Tagging: @asperol-with-izzy , @disney-android-foundation , @lady-love88 , @marinerainbow , @masqueradeball , @miss_understood , @moxiiscool , @ryantryan6969 , @spookiifi , @thecourtofgraywaves , @yesthetrashbin , and @your-mxnd-is-mxne . Hi all! ^^ Please head the warnings, its meant to be comedic, but Candy Pop and Dark both make some very gross comments 😅 Hope y'all enjoy and have a great day ^^
Candy Pop:
You walk away quickly after that, giving him that sweet kiss on the cheek and saying he’s such a lovely friend to you, and he wonders for a split second whether that was on purpose. “-Excuse me?!?” Surely you know that he wants his hand down your pants? “Hooooold on hold on hold on- “ You can’t be this dumb. Surely! Almost immediately Candy Pop whips around and follows you right down the hall- quickly catching up to you and skipping ahead, walking backwards in front of you, making you smile. “Love! Love, love- what was that last part??”
“I’m glad to have you, Pop.” You grin back, giggling at the befuddled look on his face. It does not clear up.
“Uhuh… as??... “He prompts you carefully, waiving his hand in a ‘go on’ sort of gesture.
“A friend! A wonderful friend.”
“… hah, sorry, again? I just can’t wrap my head around those words. Must be our language barrier.”
Adorably confused, you tilt your little idiot head at him; Eyebrows knitted together. Oh god, he thinks. Are you not joking after all? “Candy Pop, you’re English.”
… Right… okay- “Yes, well, English used to be quite different in my time, right??” Yeah, that’ll do for an excuse. Sure. “Anyway- again?? You love me… as??”
Sighing, you stop walking and reach out to put a hand on his arm; Making him stop, too, and guiding him towards you. Theirs a gentle, concerned look on your face and your touch makes him feel weak, makes the skin under your fingers light on fire, and he just wants to shove you against the wall and taste you under his tongue. All over. But- “Candy Pop. Whatever you’re thinking… stop.” Holy shit you’re not joking!! You’re truly a dumbass!! What is he going to do!?? He wants to shove his tongue in your asshole, so this- he can’t- this won’t- this is just not going to work!?? “You are lovely- to me, at least.” You give a giggle, and its enchanting, you’re enchanting, but he has never wanted to squeeze you more then right now. Even with your pretty hand on his arm and your pretty eyes on him and your pretty voice in his ears. “and I do love you. Believe it, bud.”
Then you give him another soft, maddening kiss on his painted cheek, and leave again. This time he does not follow. This time he’s too gobsmacked.
Slowly he brings a hand up to his mouth, chewing on his nails and staring at the floor… oh my this is a disaster.
Dark Link:
“Mmm, y’know Y/N,” As the movie begins the play, after you’ve opened your jumbo bag of doritos and settled down beside Dark on his bed, he takes the opportunity to throw an arm over you. He’s close, now, just like he likes it, and he can see you stuff your face with artificial cheese in detail, sure, but eh- you’re a cute pig. You pull it off. Good on you. “This is a pretty freaky flick… if you get scared, be free to get cozy with me… BEN’s not gonna be here, tonight.”
At least he better not; Dark paid the little weasel handsomely in Hostess cakes and threatened his little man if he did show up. Tonight is the night Dark makes his damn move on you. A real move. One you won’t be able to write off a joke or just friendly. You’re obtuse, but you’ll get it this time. He’s sure.
… because honestly if you don’t, he’s going to lose what’s left of his ever-loving mind. He may have to fuck BEN, or Jeff, if you don’t get it this time. Any dank, warm hole will do but he hopes it’ll be yours. He’s going insane using his hand and wishing it was you. This trying to fuck you thing, has been an ordeal. He’s actually exhausted. You’re dumb as a box of rocks and he wants to feel you so bad. It’s killing him.
You’re killing him.
“Oh,” You pop a dorito in your mouth, looking at him with those pretty (clueless) eyes. “Where’s he gonna be?”
“Don’t know, don’t care. Anyway- “
“That’s a shame.”
“Yeah whatever. So like I was saying- “
“Are you sure he’s not coming around?? I’ll wait- “
“New conversation babe. Stay with me. I just want- “
“I have a bit of a crush on him… “You confess then, awkwardly, a nervous look on your face- but also relieved, like you’ve been wanting so badly to tell him this for a while.
… And Dark sputters, losing his entire train of thought entirely and just staring at you; Under his arm, looking adorable and shy, picking at one of the corners of your dorito bag and telling him… what!? The sound of blood curdling screams erupt from the horror movie then, which is fitting. “… C- Uh, c- come again please?”
You look bashful, before groaning and hiding your face in your hands. Dark follows your face with his eyes, not moving because he’s in shock. “You couldn’t tell?? Aghhh, I feel like I act like a total loony tune around him.”
“… Nope, baby, I couldn’t tell… “
“Oh you’re just saying that!”
“No, babydoll, I promise I am not.” … I guess I’m fucking Jeff tonight then. Goddamnit.
Inkubus:
… He feels like he’s being filmed. Leaning back suddenly, Inkubus brushes a few leaf’s from your annoying pot plant aside and glances behind it. Camera crew?? Secret hidden videographers?? Hello??
No?
He looks swiftly back to you, and you’re still gushing! And yes, you are gushing, right now. To him. That is how he would describe it because that is the correct word. You’re positively glowing, right now, and you certainly don’t notice how disorientated he has gotten- almost feeling dizzy, of all the pathetic human ailments, because this has never happened before, things have never gone this horribly wrong-
“- oh sorry!! I’m talking too much, aren’t I??” Inkubus watches you tuck hair nervously behind your ear, as innocent as ever, and barely restrains the urge to roll his eyes- or snarl. You’re still completely what he wants, still clean and pure and perfect for his needs. Just your scent puts a sweet taste on his tongue. He can’t… he has to have you. “You don’t want to hear about this… hahah… “
He absolutely can’t believe it. … what are you? If you’re human, which he’s sure that you are, then you shouldn’t be immune to his charm’s. You should be physically compelled. And even if he wasn’t using his powers, you still shouldn’t be able to resist him. He has had a long time to perfect his act, and women - as well men, and everyone else, anyone he wants, - usually fall at his feet. It’s just… the way that it is! Si... What- What- What!?-
But you’re completely in love with someone else. That’s clear.
… But he wants you.
… Taking a deep breath in and rolling his shoulders gracefully, almost totally inconspicuously, forcing himself to calm down, Inkubus pastes a smile onto his face. “No,” He shrugs. “I don’t mind at all- tell me more.” Eugh. “Maybe we can come up with a solution together, hm? Be free to tell me everything… “
It’s been a few centuries since he has played the long game… but here we go~
Ugh… quaint. Truly.
Long John Silver:
... Just shoot me. Put me out of my misery, please. Morphie, pal-
The little traitor just jiggles and bubbles in the air behind the lass's head, silently laughing his bleeding backside off after the mortifying kick in the pants that Silver just received from you. Silver glares at the creature, but quickly smoothens his face back out again when you look back at him.
Agh... just keep smilin'. Jussttt keep smilin'... dont be a sore git about this... it was worth a shot at least, it was.
"Y'know lass," Silver finally manages to speak, hating what he has to say. "I didn't know y'had a lad, back home... Y'never mentioned 'im, before now. Promse ya, I wouldnta asked-... well, I cant say that. Lets just say I wouldnt've come on quite so strong, eh? If I'd known." He gives a playful wink, brushing off the awkward moment for your sake. Its not yer fault you aint got room in your life for an old pirate like him!
"Oh, hah. Didnt I?"
No, ya sure didn't. He'd've remembered. "Nope, but that's okay lass... I'm just gonna be a splash heartbroke, now. Probably cry meself to sleep fer a couple nights..." He jokes, rubbing the skin over his heart and watching you cover your face, in sweet sheepishness. Oh, you're cute. Very cute. Whoever's got ya is one lucky bastard. "... But I'll get over it, promise ya."
"Ohhhh," Bashful and sweet as all hell, you peak out from your hand and look all-guilty up at him. Damn, you are a lovely thing you are. "I'm so sorry... "
"Don't even think on it, love. Now- "Clearing his throat, Silver picks up the huge, heavy stew pot in his two strong hands. "lets get the grub out there for those men, unless we want a mutiny on our hands."
Oogie Boogie:
"Wha- Friend!???" Oogie immediately throws his body dramatically backwards, hearing that; A hand to his chest. "You see me as a friend!???"
"Well... "Nodding your head, all-wholesome (Blegh), you confirm his suspicion, making the bugs in his stomach absolutely roll. "Yeah, Boogie!- "
"Friend!???" If he had a heart, he would seize it. My god, wasn't he clear?? What does a guy haveta do around here to get some pretty little tail??? The hell is this 'friend' crap!?
"Yes, Boogie!"
"How doya figure that!?"
"Well... " Now you're starting to look kind of hurt. You?? You hurt??? He's the one who's hurtin' now, doll!! What the heck is goin' on here??? "I- I- I mean, I thought so- "
"Pumpkin! I do like ya- but I don't think ya get what's happenin', here!" When you just tilt your head to the side, like a damn puppy dog (Disgustingly sweet), Oogie facepalms. Satan gimmie strength! "... do I have to be painfully clear with you, sweetbean??~~ "
"... Hm?"
"Oh- " Huff "fine." Suddenly Oogie slips in close to you again, curling an arm sneakily around your waist and yanking you against his front. A dirty old smirk tears across his face as he leans into yours. "... this'll be fun, anyway~ Hehehe... Hold on tight to me gorgeous, we're goin for a ride~ And its all or nothin', so keep ya wits aboutcha okay doll?"
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Reaching Out
It's been several months since the defeat of the absolute. Nearly as many months since Gale and Tav have retreated to Waterdeep to continue their lives. Things are going well, or as well as one can expect. But despite their best intentions keeping in touch with their former companions hasn't happened. That is until Gale finally reaches out to, most surprisingly, Astarion for help with something.
Also on AO3
If any of you are familiar with my Kinktober 2023 works (specifically Like it Rough ) you'll have some idea where this is heading. But this is a whole new work and while it's heavily inspired by Kinktober fics, and will probably feature many of them, it's likely to swing in another direction. This is meant to be the longfic of them.
Letter One
Astarion,
It seems odd to not add an endearment to the beginning of my letters. My most fanged friend? My nocturnal compatriot? No matter, I’ll nail something down, of that I am sure.
I’m sure you’re curious as to why I’m writing to you after so many months. Truth be told, I find it an odd thing to do as well. I imagined I might keep in contact with Wyll or Shadowheart, but, and with no insult intended, I didn’t think my first letter since the incident would be to you. I also had assumed I would have reached out much sooner. But something has stayed my hand each time I’ve considered writing.
Things are well in Waterdeep, or as well as they ever are. It seems the stories of our adventure have softened Blackstaff’s attitudes towards me and I’ve been invited to teach once more. I look forward to it greatly. Tav is well, too. She spends much of her days exploring the city and making friends. I’m sure it comes as no surprise to you that we now regularly play dinner host to an ever-growing number of orphans and those down on their luck. The tower is oft filled to the brim on feast days, to the point we had to commandeer Mother’s house for Greengrass to accommodate everyone.
We still haven’t settled on a date for the wedding, but you know that of course, as Tav would never allow it to happen without all of you there. I imagine we’ll find something next year. Just getting to be around one another has been a luxury we’re not quick to squander.
It hasn’t all been bright days, of course. We all have our moods, things we cannot forget in the quietest hours of the night. Tav grows restless at times; adventure calls to her. I admit I feel its pull as well. We’ve helped a few people here or there but hardly anything worth mentioning in comparison to our grand adventure.
I must admit this letter is not just a friendly catch-up, as it ought to be. I have a request for you, one which, even now, I am hesitant to ask. So I won’t, for now. Instead, I will simply tell you it is a most private request, and I need to know if you’d be willing to assist me—not just me but Tav as well if that makes you any more inclined to help. I have no wish to make you uncomfortable, as I know we haven’t always been the most agreeable companions, so I will also allow that this is a subject of which you are reluctantly an expert of.
If you are willing to assist me discreetly, please write back. Or rather, write back on any account, Tav would be delighted to hear from you.
Sincerely,
Gale Dekarios
Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6, Pt 7
Also on AO3
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