#but I'm also a major crybaby who cried while writing this

[the-knaves-world]

This life and our next

Lilia x reader, I needed angst. GN!reader

This was new but hope it's good enough!

In the rubble of the mirror chamber, amidst the screams of your friends and the tremors of the aftershocks from the dragon form of malleus' overblot, lies a body.

A body with long black hair and pale, lifeless skin and dull raspberry red eyes. A bloody smile and the forms of a found family mourning.

"Lilia! Lilia please, don't leave us!" You cry, heart pounding so hard that your chest aches and your breathing is harsh from the tears that flow like the stream that Lilia showed you, where he proposed.

"My Dove, don't cry. I hate it when you cry, my love." Lilia brushes his hand across your cheek, hoping that what warmth his body has left is enough to soothe your tears, for now.

Silver tries to hold back his tears as his father and his stepparent say their final farewells. "It was an honor to be your son, Lilia. Thank you for everything. We will never forget you." Silver knows if he speaks more than this, he will fall to pieces. Silver cannot cry yet, his stepparent needs him.

"Lilia! It has been an honor to train under you. Thank you for the years you've given us!" Sebek is audible over the screams of the teachers and other students.

Sebek looks so very fragile. You have never seen your boys look so pained. Not even when lilia would cook dinner.

Brushing your lips over lilias temples, nose, cheeks and finally his lips, you whisper "I know you have lived for so long that asking for you to stay any longer is selfish but..." You hiccup through your tears and finish your sentence.

"Please stay with me. With us. We want more time with you. I haven't gotten to walk down the aisle to you in your tux yet. We haven't gotten our first dance as a married couple yet. We deserve more time, my love."

You brush your tears to see him clearly, you want to keep him alive in your vision, your memory, as long as possible. Pressing another light, fluttering kiss to his lips, you feel him getting colder.

"I want nothing more than more time with you. I waited so long to find you. I had more love with you than I have in the past 500 years." Lilia squeezes your hand with what strength he has left and whispers. "I will find you in our next life, no matter what it takes. My dove, take care of yourself. I love you more than the stars."

Looking over to his son and his unofficial child, he calls out weakly. "Look after them silver, it seems I have nothing left to teach my sons." With a weak chuckle, Lilia closes his eyes.

"The stars are beautiful, my dove. Just look up and see my love for you painted over the night sky."

Lilias' chest has stopped moving and all that remains in its stillness is the sobs of his family that will never truly recover from their loss.

~Some time later~

Everyday was a struggle with grief. Little by little things like breathing becomes easier. Things like cooking and joking about him becomes happier.

"Don't burn the Mac!" From silver followed by a sarcastic "I'm not ya father, Silver. Mac 'n' cheese is safe with me." Brings laughter that isn't fully drowned out by tears or sobs anymore.

Tucking your boys into bed had become a new habit since their fathers death. Yes, even the king of Briar Valley gets tucked in.

Walking out onto the backporch and sitting down to marvel up at the stars. Lilia was absolutely right about the view in Briar Valley. He would have loved the new backyard too. A patch of lilies and forget-me-nots were planted along not only the sides of the house but all over the back fence line.

Looking up and seeing the stars that shine so brightly, he said he loved you more than the stars. "How could you love so immensely?" You whisper to the soft darkness of the valley.

You had made it a habit to come out to the backyard so that your sobs couldn't wake silver. You had made the mistake of crying inside once. Never again, the boys all came rushing into the room to soothe you. They were so tired the next day.

Letting your shoulders shake with tears that had long become silent, you feel the wind blow and brush against your cheeks. Raising your head and looking up to the blanket of stars that your bat loved so much, you feel warmth against your back.

Turning your head, you expect to see one of your boys or a royal guard that heard you step outside, there was no one. Just a lingering warmth that felt so achingly familiar. "Lilia...I miss you so much."

A warmth spreads across your cheek and swear you hear him speak to you. "In our next life, no matter what, my love." Your tears don't cease, instead they flow, just like that day in the destroyed mirror chamber.

"I can't lose you all over again." The words 'this isn't fair' repeatedly fall from your lips with such pain that the shadows seem to react to them.

And then...everything just stops. The shadows don't dance around you, the crickets go silent, the fireflies cease to glow.

The wind has even ceased to blow. That was unsettling in Briar Valley. The wind never completely stops, only dies down to a gentle breeze. Hearing no signs of life is rather disconcerting.

Looking up to the stars and then to the garden, you stand and walk over to the forget-me-nots and see them gently swaying in the nonexistent breeze. You planted them for you and Lilia.

Warmth once more envelops your back, like it always did when lilia hugged you from behind. "Lilia, I take it you like them?" Laughing lightly through your tears.

"Lilia, I can't wait for you to find me again. Please, don't keep me waiting this long. Never again lilia."

Feeling the wind shift and kick up again you turn and you swear that you see his outline. His pointed ears only visible because the house is right behind him. You can practically hear his laughter, twinkling like bells on the wind.

Just like that, his presence was gone. You never felt him again.

~200 years later~

Walking out of university classes at the end of the day was an experience that was both joyous but also tiring. The joy of being done with classes but also the tiredness of having to walk the entirety of campus to get back to a somewhat loud dorm.

Ramshackle dorm, once abandoned and rundown, now thriving and dedicated to the human that saved the Nightraven College and it's students.

Once the worlds became traverseable for people that were not fair folk, Nightraven became accepting of students from the same world as the human from the history books.

Passing by the green and black clad students of diasomnia, you're reminded of the stories about the fae that had loved the human from your world. How their scream and sobs echoed through the damage of the old mirror chamber.

Silly old history stories that the new history professor this year loves to blabber on about. The rumor is that he was around 200 years ago. 'I doubt it, why would he want to come back here?'

Deciding on a trip to the new Cafe in town, you change out of the uniform and find a spot in your own little corner of the cozy place. When your order is called you make your way over to the barista and grab your order.

On the walk back you pass by a boy, your age if you were to hazard a guess, and you can't help but keep looking over to him. "Staring is quite rude, don'tcha know?" He cheekily quips.

Embarrassed at having been caught, your face warms and you feel the urge to bury your face into your folded arms. You hear the chair in front of you squeal and hear him plop onto the chair.

"Well little one, those were some seriously serious looks you were giving me." He leans his elbows on the table and puts his head on his hands with a certain smile.

"What were you thinking, hmmm?" The man has a deeper voice than you thought he would. Looking at him you feel a sense of deja vu.

"Have we met before little one?" The ache in your chest that always seemed to be there...loosened and then simply faded away.

"I don't think so but you seem familiar. Are you from around here? Or just here for college?" He laughs and it clicks.

Breathing in a lung full of air and feeling the tell tale tightness of your throat, you whisper "Lilia..."

Feeling him take your hands across the table and that warmth that always haunted your dreams. The dreams of a time that caused you to take the scholarship from Nightraven College in the first place.

"I said our next life. I meant it, my dove." Feeling his lips feather over your fingertips sent those shivers up your spine. "Welcome back my love. No tears this time."

This life will be a good one. One with years together, not just one.

Across the street stands a green haired crocodile and the black haired king. Happy to see their caretakers together once more.

"So, do you think that silver will be back soon?" "YOUNG MASTER?!" The laughter from the king of thorns and his father figure resound through the dusk of their new start together.

[apompkwrites]

the ashengrotto octopot || azul ashengrotto

masterlist characters: azul (platonic) genre: angst contains: self-deprecation, body-shaming, reader compares themselves a lot, bullying summary: the story of (name) ashengrotto. notes: the more i write these the more i realize i'm projecting. uh oh. anyway, this one, in my opinion, is a lot heavier compared to leona's and riddle's. please keep in mind that you are loved, no matter what you look like <33 sidenote - for the taglists, please specify which dorm leader's series you would want to be tagged in bc i'll add you to all of them if not :)) parts: [og post] | [the ashengrotto octopot (1)] | [the ashengrotto connections (2)]

"ink-spewer!"

"octo-twerp!"

"eight leg freak!"

you heard those words a lot growing up. it wasn't to you, no, never to you. you stayed cooped up in your little octopus pot so that you didn't have to face those nasty words.

"crybaby!"

those words were always meant for your older brother. at least, that's how it was in the beginning.

it was hard not to hear those words every day. your brother always urged you to stay in your pot because "the outside world is mean". "the outside world is cruel" he would say, the tears in his eyes becoming one with the coral sea.

maybe he thought the octopus pot would protect you. maybe he thought it would shield the noises of the outside world and the cruel merfolk who inhabited it. maybe he thought that because he couldn't hear them in his octopus pot.

of course, that was only the case because his cries would drown out the sound for him.

see, your octopus pot was old and falling apart with each passing day. it was brittle and cracking apart, looking as if it would shatter with the single touch of a suction cup. with all of the cracks it had, it became easier for their words to reach you.

it was even easier for azul's.

there were nights where, because you had spent a majority of the day sleeping, you would still be awake by the time azul cried himself to sleep. he would mutter those same words they would yell at him as if they had become a mantra he needed to repeat.

but, if the two of you looked the same, does that mean those words applied to you, too?

you were small just like your brother. you were chubby just like your brother. and in the beginning, you didn't mind that. you didn't mind that because you loved your brother and you wanted to be just like him, especially since he was the only figure you could look up to.

but when the insults started and your brother's self-confidence in his appearance began to dwindle, so too did yours.

if azul hated how chubby he was, from his tentacles to his face, did that mean he also hated those features on you? every time he saw you, did the words that the merchildren screamed at him ring in his mind too?

if that was the case... you would rather he think those thoughts about you than about himself.

if you had it your way, he would cherish those features on himself while hating them on you. all you wanted was for him to be happy and you knew that couldn't happen if he kept thinking like that about himself.

maybe a good place to start is to get a new octopus pot for him. oh, and you too.

your pot was about to break and you knew that. every day it would creak when you moved. since azul's was older than yours, you were sure his was in a worse condition than yours was.

lucky for you, azul was passed out in his octopus pot having stayed up late while practicing his magic.

sneaking out wasn't that hard. azul seemed completely unaware of your movements due to his exhaustion and fatigue, so you quickly made your way into the marketplace.

in hindsight, you probably should have mentally prepared yourself before you did.

the foreign feeling of being stared at was the only thing you could focus on. the adults weren't ones to stare, luckily. no, it was their children. the same children you associated with those wretched words.

they would point at you as you swam past. a few even steered clear of you as if you would spew ink everywhere and the sea would turn into black tar. so this was what azul faced every day. it was different than just hearing it. having the stares and the points directed at you along with the words made what he endured so much worse.

you were so glad that the shop you needed to find didn't attract a crowd. it was a quaint shop managed by a beautiful cecaelia. you strived to look like them. the human aspect, you didn't particularly long for, but perhaps that was just a package deal.

they were thin, unlike you. their tentacles were a deep shade of blue that seemed to sparkle like pearls. they were everything you wanted to be.

"hello, little one," they greeted you with a pleasant voice, a light smile plastered on their face. "how can i help you?"

"i need... um..." you looked down at the ground nervously. "two octopus pots..."

"of course," they responded with a grin, motioning out to the pots that lined the shelves and floor. "take your pick."

they were all beautiful. none of them had cracks and they were all smooth to the touch. they were perfect for your brother.

but, you didn't account for the fact that your parents mentioned this shop because it was in their price range. with their occupations, they could afford it. the money they would leave behind for you and azul wouldn't be able to cover two octopus pots.

but, they could cover one. you could go without dinner for one day, right?

"just one?" the cecaelia at the counter hummed softly, tilting their head. oh, their hair framed their face perfectly. "i thought you were looking for two, sweetheart?"

"mm... i don't have enough," you mustered enough energy to offer them a smile. "i'll just come back another time!"

"...sounds like a deal," they nodded, taking the money from your hand. now that you saw it, their hands were much slimmer than yours were.

they handed you the pot and bid you goodbye. the pot was a bit heavy, but they always were. luckily, the shop was closer to the exit that would take you home so you wouldn't have to worry about running into other merfolk and damaging it.

oh, you couldn't wait for your brother to see your gift for him.

taglist: @brokenncrown

[pianostarinwonderland]

Azul's Vulnerability

Happy birthday to me, and as a way to celebrate this, I'm going to be talking about my biggest gripes on how people view Azul in general 🤩🤩🤩 ok I'm not gonna attack anyone but I do want to speak about something that has been on my mind for a while

Having exposed myself to a lot of Azul content, I've seen a very common trend in the fandom when it comes to how people write about him. Much of the written content I see always has something to do with Azul being a so-called crybaby, particularly in x reader fics and headcanons. Reader would comfort Azul as he's crying, and they'd wipe his tears away while assuaging his insecurities. This also influences the NSFW content that Azul has as well. Reader would be the one to top Azul, and they would be the one in control in the bedroom.

I want to preface first that this is all valid. Write whatever you want. I don't have the right to stop any of you from writing Azul like this. NSFW especially is something that's really valid because a lot of the times, females want to experience having agency in the bedroom (let's not deny it, a majority of x readers are fem readers). In fact, fics and hcs where readers can comfort Azul stem from a desire to be the person to give him the comfort that Twisted Wonderland never gave him. We all want to be that person whom Azul can feel vulnerable to. We want to comfort him and to be close to him, and this is the best way we can do that.

But with that in mind, those fics and hcs also reflect the way people see Azul. People tend to write him as that crybaby. Whenever people talk about Azul, that's the one trait that they tend to attribute to him. I've heard people say it as an insult to him or to make fun of him as well. I'd even say that in the NSFW space, people choose to bottom Azul for that reason. And as someone who loves Azul, I really want people to see that Azul is more than just "a crybaby".

In fact, I would argue that the Azul we know now is not a crybaby. After his overblot, when everyone compliments his notes, Jade and Floyd comment on how Azul looked like he was about to cry. But pay attention to the way that they comment on it:

Floyd: What now? Azul, are you getting a little misty eyed? Jade: My my, have you gone back to being the ink-spitting crybaby? [shel_bb book 3 chapter 35]

The kind of wording in Jade's comment implies that Azul hasn't cried in a while. If he still cried often, Jade would have said something along the lines of "are you going to cry again".

And besides, if one is ashamed of crying, there would be a resolve built to stop themselves from crying. Personally speaking, I have a hard time crying unless something big happens because I had family either telling me to stop crying or laugh at me for crying over something trivial. Azul had been made fun of for the way he cries as a child—that has to have some traumatic impact on him, and it would make him hate crying and tell himself to never cry again. People who can cry easily are those who don't think it's a bad thing to cry.

There's this one anon ask that I will never forget that is related to this topic. It was one that a friend received, and it was a hc request to write Azul and Vil "being their vulnerable selves". As in, they explicitly said that the kind of confidence they exude is all a facade to hide the real emotional vulnerability underneath them, thereby saying that their vulnerable insecure selves are the real Azul and Vil and their confidence is faked.

A Vil essay can be made another day and probably by another person, but for now, we focus on Azul.

First of all, this will never be forgotten from memory because it shocks me that someone thinks Azul's confidence is wholly faked just to hide his insecurities. Now I'm not saying there's no merit to it nor that it's totally wrong. It's true that Azul's charm feels plastic. It's true that Azul does have a strong front that hides a painful past. But it doesn't mean that the Azul now who makes deals, runs a restaurant, and achieves high grades is not the real Azul.

What I want people (and most especially Azul himself but that's another post entirely) to realize is that he's grown to be so much more than the little octopus who used to be bullied and made fun of by other merfolk. The charisma and confidence he has is real. He worked hard to develop his social skills, and that hard work cannot be faked. I think if anything, the part that would feel fake is the part where he chooses to be Azul the businessman and not Azul as in Azul.

And Azul as in Azul is not just his insecurities. It's Azul with his wit and his strategical mindset. It's Azul with his joking remarks and his anger. Chapter 6 and Glorious Masquerade show Azul's real self the most in the game. When he shows his enthusiasm over City of Flowers' food culture in GloMas. When he teases Riddle during the part where the OB boys were playing video games after their experiments in ch6. When Azul roasts Deuce in response to a comment Deuce made about financier cake matching Azul in GloMas. When Azul gets mad at Riddle because he disagreed with his way of doing things in the tower chapters of ch6. There's just so much to Azul.

And lastly, I want to address the idea of Azul's vulnerability. Loads of times, when we think about vulnerability, we think about the sides we wish to not show to people, but we tend to associate those with insecurities and tears. Maybe it's just me, but Azul's vulnerabilities don't always have to manifest in the form of tears. Look at how he acts in narrating his flashback in 3-34 and in the way he reacted when Riddle in chapter 6 says that he can never be top 1 in their year because Azul runs his restaurant too. He's not bursting to tears as he's face to face with the insecurities—he's angry. He's angry about the circumstances he was placed in, angry at the people who hurt him. He's angry at Riddle for essentially saying everything he does was a waste.

It's also important to remember that to the general public, Azul keeps a certain image of himself. Capable of helping. Unable to be stepped on. So in a sense, anything that contradicts his image or even has the potential to harm it is in some way a vulnerability for him.

I think giving Azul a bunch of cuddles as he's crying is really cute. But you can also write about how Azul would open himself up to you—late night rant sessions about certain people, a secret about himself that not many people know. Something to remember as well is that he likes to be in control. Azul will have a tight hold on the kind of image he shows to people. Azul will choose carefully what people should hear and should not hear. So imagine him just letting himself be around you, with little thought about keeping that control of himself... that in itself is a sign of Azul opening up to you.

I acknowledge that this is a little bit messy, but I do want people to see that Azul is more than the breakdown that he had in chapter 3. He's got a more vibrant personality than that. And I would love to see more fics that explore his character a lot more, especially in romance fics.