#but also i its true that i dont draw them together enough so. here

[comradekatara]

official advisor/little sister/menace to the firelord

[beannary]

OK so I dont really like this but this 2012 tmnt mermaid au has been driving me INSANE so here are some mermaid designs for the boys (which I might change if I draw more stuff for this au) and some lore for the au under the cut!

also Donnie is ftm and Leo is mtf and those are the facts! (Donnie did do top surgery on himself, do NOT ask me how he did that underwater safely)

(just a quick note: I am using some japanese mythos for the mermaid part but I'm also being loosey goosey with it alskjdfh)

ALSO slight tw for cannibalism? or like cannibalism adjacent behavior

There is a yokai described in Japanese literature called the ningyo, a creature that is half human and half fish. Legend says that if you capture a ningyo and eat its flesh, that you will be granted eternal life. Hamato Yoshi and Oroku Saki were familiar with these legends, though Saki always believed in them more than Yoshi. Saki believed in the legends so much that he became obsessed with finding the legendary ningyo and becoming immortal after consuming its flesh. Yoshi accompanied his brother on these ventures, more out of a sense of familiar duty and a need to watch out for his younger brother than an actual belief in the ningyo.

And of course, it just so happens that the brother who does not at all believe in the existence of yokai would be the one to find one. Yoshi encounters Tang Shen, a ningyo who has been living throughout the local freshwater river system. And suddenly Yoshi realizes that Saki's quest for murder might actually come true since apparently these ningyo are very much real. So now whenever he accompanies Saki on his hunting quests, he does everything in his ability to try to dissuade Saki from his plan, and when he realizes that isn't going to work, he starts to sabotage Saki's efforts. And Yoshi does this because well he kept in contact with Tang Shen, and the two became close friends, and son fell in love, bridging the gap between yokai and human.

They can't get married, obviously, Tang Shen is fully a yokai, but they build their lives together and eventually Tang Shen falls pregnant with their daughter Miwa. The two weren't entirely sure what to expect of their child, but Miwa turns out to be a completely normal human child.

Over the years as Yoshi and Tang Shen's love and family grew, Yoshi started pulling away from his birth family, and more noticeably, from Saki, who was you know pretty angry with Yoshi who seemingly disappeared on him with no explanation. Saki channels his anger into his search for the ningyo, and it takes three years but eventually he does finally find one.

Around three years after Miwa was born, Tang Shen and Yoshi welcome in four new kids! Quadruplets! Three boys and a girl. And these four, unlike Miwa, seem to all be fully ningyo, which very much surprised Yoshi and Tang Shen (both the fact that there were four kids and those four kids are all mermaids) but hey, they knew their genetic situation would be weird and they were fully ready to hop into raising these four.

It's only a few days after the birth of their quadruplets, so soon after that they haven't even given them names, that Saki stumbles upon the home of Yoshi and Tang Shen. And He Is Pissed. Not only did his BROTHER ABANDON him but he abandon him to start a family with this yokai? The yokai that he's been hunting all this time? And Saki, like in canon, kills Tang Shen and Miwa. (Or well you know, he kidnaps Miwa and renames her Karai but Yoshi thinks Miwa is dead)

Yoshi manages to get away with the quadruplets in the chaos, and he tries so hard to establish a new life for himself in Japan, but no matter where he goes, Saki manages to find him. Eventually Yoshi gets desperate enough to flee the country, and he finds himself in New York City!

But meanwhile back in Japan, Saki did in fact end up eating Tang Shen but idk how he realizes it but he figures out that he didnt get immortality, and so he concludes that oh, Tang Shen must have been tainted somehow by her relationship with Yoshi, which sucks because now he has to find a whole other ningyo to get immortality. Luckily he happens to know of four ningyo that he would be more than happy to kill, which is basically Saki's drive to finding and killing the Hamatos.

Anyways that's all I have so far!!!! I'm trying to think about how they would live in NYC, if they can somehow become human (in maybe like an H2O just add water situation) or if they are stuck in the water all the time.

I'm leaning towards them being able to shed their fish tails if even only for a small amount of time, just so they can still be ninjas and train on land, since I think Yoshi would still want to train them to defend themselves. I think that if they can be human for a bit, they still get dried out really easily so they can't stay out of the water for very long, probably not long enough for them to go to school full time, so they still live super isolated lives. Or maybe Yoshi figures out a way to train them to fight in the water? Idk suggestions are appreciated!

They do eventually meet April and Casey, I think April is gonna be on the swim team and so she's a fairly strong swimmer (for a human) and so she spends a lot of time in the water with the hamatos which they appreciate a lot! I think maybe Yoshi isn't a super strong swimmer so as much as he tries to spend time with his kids he can't really.

Casey is still on the hockey team and he can't swim, the hamatos try to teach him but they fully dont know how to swim with legs and so they are Bad tm swimming teachers salkdjfh.

[moth-bells]

Hi so, I dont know whenever I'm gonna be able to write or draw anything I like for my cryptids au, so I'm going to give you all literally all the lore and if I ever get to it, its already here.

It also doesnt always make perfect sense but I think that gives it charm and I'm not gonna run around in circles trying to make it perfect Gonna try and make this generally in timeline of events order

The earth is formed. From the dust of star dust rises two figures

They have no names and they were never born, forming from things they do not understand, yet know all too well

They are always at one another's side

They are both everything and nothing to one another

They witness eons together

Watching little specks shift and change and grow

They watch life and ease life along with hands that do what is needed without thought behind how it happens

They have purpose yet none here, witnesses

The duo watch as the earth fills with life only for it all to nearly vanish

They watch life persevere despite that

Those first peculiar humans, though without that name yet, come to be. So small and fragile, yet the two can see potential with these ones

They travel the globe, checking in on different places, seeing how the people so similar are slowly changing. They find it fascinating, though they feel this with other animals

One day, they realize many of these people that they've visited, perhaps assisted at times, and occasionally revisited, have places of worship

Neither of them understand, but they gather that these humans seem to look at them as higher than them. Gods.

Are they? They arent living in the same way as other beings. They cant die. They dont age and were never born.

If not gods, what are they then?

They dont know.

They do eventually move on, but one day, an unknown amount of years later, they return to one of these villages

The people, they do rejoice for their deities have graced them again

The duo decided to linger here longer than before.

One day, theres murmurs of malcontent floating

The two have witnessed battles, but stayed out of them.

They had never watched wars begin, the quiet wisps of smoke that would soon become flames

Now these two, unnatural as they are, were not infinitely strong.

Yes, they were stronger than many of these small humans, who were much smaller than them

But, if there were many humans against one of them, there was only so much that they could do

The humans, separated into factions, decided that one of the duo were a true god while the other was something evil and wrong.

Such is the way of humanity

The two realized they might have stayed too long now, deciding it was time to leave

It was too late for that now.

These two beings, nameless, named and renamed by many, but never calling each other by any.

Two who had been together since they were glints in an existence less universe

Were separated

Humans from either side took their 'rightful' god. Determined to use their worship against the other side.

The two beings were able to take some of them, desperately trying to not be taken away from the other.

They were not gods, though, not in the way these humans thought.

What they were was unknowable, but they still were not ever powerful.

With enough force, they were dragged away by the people who once looked at them equally

The one yellow as pollen was taken into a deep cavernous temple, locked into the darkness, with nothing within it. No escape. The entrance to this prison was sealed with a boulder.

He screamed for them to release him, but his words, something only his other understood, fell on deaf ears.

He pushed and clawed at the rock, but it was too heavy

These people believed their worship of isolation and fasting was pure and accepted by their god.

The other was left to a fate less horrendous, but equally lonely.

Tossed down into a pit, deep with only a manmade covering to hide it.

He as well demanded to be freed, but none of that was to come

These humans worshipped the sky at night that this being reminded them of, that being the only thing that he could see from his prison, though there was also a reminder in the daylight of who he was missing

The humans dropped food of animals down to him.

They werent able to starve to death, nor did they need to eat in the way animals and living things did, but it would give them extra energy if they needed it. No, they took in the rays of the star above them.

So, with the one in the pit, he received more that enough to keep him mobile.

The one in the cave, however...

centuries passed. Thousands and thousands of years

And they who have been here since before time itself, before knowing that of light and space and earth and death

They changed

Slowly, over time, of desperation and madness, and forces they themselves would never truly understand

They changed.

The cavern, where slowly less and less voices of prayer came, lost to a memory

Where eyes as blue as the sky became milky white

Where his mind grew blank with bleakness and its voice lost all form of words

Body became sharp and thin and twisted

Claws and teeth long and sharp.

In the pit, staring up at day and night as blood, and bodies of animal sacrifice fell upon him

One day, he accepted them, hoping for the strength needed to climb free

Eventually, it forgot why it was even down there.

And then the food stopped coming.

It had spent years and years, copying the shrieks and cries of a wounded animal, luring certain animals to the wide spaced grate above

It never felt hunger but it ached for the blood and rush that the meal provided

Its body became more wild, more dangerous

For some years its back ached until there was a weak flap of wings

Wings.

W i n g s.

Freedom.

The other was still trapped for sometime, having long forgotten what it was. What it was missing. Neither could remember but they could feel it

It would be sheer luck that some unfortunate children, merely teenagers, would come to that stone that their ancestors had made and laid there, not just a myth among them now.

That a god lay in the cave, dangerous and angry, locked away when it tried to turn against the people that worshiped it...or so they say the story goes

It would be their misfortune as they struggled to move the circular rock, that light from the evening setting sun would start to peek through inside

And something would come leaping out at them.

They fled from the monster, leaving one screaming to their fate to the creature so starved.

After, once its frenzy ended, it luckily took off into the forest surrounding it, away from the pain of the sun on its wide white eyes

It was fate, it would seem that they would find one another again

So changed by time and humanities unknowing cruelties

More animal than whatever they may have been to begin with

The winged one had found it one day, though not knowing fully why it was pulled toward it

The blind one, having changed even more in these years of freedom, lashed out at the new arrival

This, in turn, made the winged one defend itself.

They fought, clicking and screeching at one another until the teeth were dug into fur

Something clicked in this mindless mind that this thing was the same as itself.

They backed away from one another

Slowly, they reapproached...they chirred and cooed and inspected one another. One with sight the other with smell.

And they laid down together for the first time in forever

They wandered for some years, avoiding the creatures they felt compelled to hide from.

Until one day..

A small little voice spoke up at the blind one, not screaming or attacking with things that hurt

"Puppy..?"

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Remember that art you did that was just Nine and Sonic high fiving (except it were only hands)

Did you use any special brushes?????????? Or just what brushes did you use in general please dont gate keep 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Might as well just answer these asks in tandem because 1 that is literally one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me?? You mean I have an artstyle?? that it is tangible??? That its good enough for someone to want to copy it, hello????? [Positive, extremely extremely positive, crying tears of joy positive]

And 2 I am so fucking sorry (but also maybe good news for you since you're looking to copy) if you were expecting some epik brushes or techniques, because I literally just use the basic pen, pencil, airbrush and mix2 brushes (plus the eraser ofc) in Fire Alpaca. Like dedass just the first one, no change in the settings nothing. Just these guys here with me against the world.

I do attempt to sometimes use different brushes for sketching but then always return back to basics

My art process is pretty much just scratch something with the pen (sketch that I clean out as I go, we don't do lineart in this house sir) slap on some colors, then put down shadows with the pencil, blend with the mix brush, realize the shadows make no sense once looking back at the light source, erase some parts and repeat until the shadows do kind of make sense

Like its just this for endless hours but it's also the only part of drawing that I genuinely enjoy x)

From time to time I also remember that the airbrush exists and I can use it now without the threat of it blowing up my computer, which is why the shading (well, the highlights) on the high five actually looks good (also cuz I had a clear reference picture, that does wonders) plus a pro-tip, when drawing a certain thing that glows, its easier to put the solid color of the glow down and than gaussian blurring the whole layer instead of fighting with the airbrush

True magic however, hides in messing around with the opacity and layer blender settings, I usually spend most of my time in there flipping between the options lmao. The starter basics would be Add for an extra pop in the highlights. Multiply for darker shadows, or used similarly as Overlay and that is if you can't be bothered changing the color of the shadow over multiple colors of the piece. Soft and hard light for tamer results of add and multiply. And than Messing around with Difference and Exclusion was also how I got the funky colors on my previous drawing, but that stuff is funky

So yea, no special brushes, just the bare basics and mixing them together!!

[incrementgirls]

I have so many lewd things I want to write about right now... Here's one I managed to type out inbetween work today!

Content: tentaclegirl pov, tentacle sex, dickgirls and cuntgirls, group sex, lesbians eloping

You pat the dust off of your apron as you finish sweeping out the bedroom at the inn you work at. You sigh as you brush you hair out of your face, and your tummy grumbles as you wonder when you'll next get to feed. The other maids you work at the inn with always express concern that you don't eat with them, you just reply that you're fine, and some of them joke that you can feed on their blood if you're a vampire, which always draws a chuckle from you as you show your very un-spikey canine teeth with a smile. You wonder what their reaction would be if they knew how close and yet far they were from the truth.

As you push your cleaning cart through the hall towards a maintenance room, you enter and look behind you to make sure that nobody is looking, its always more convinient when you put your tools away using all of your limbs after all. You sink lower to the floor as some of your strong, somewhat squid-like tentacles slide out from under your long maid outfit, snaking around the handle of your mop, broom, and other tools to lift them to their proper storage spaces in the room. You stretch your tired arms while you let your lower limbs do the hard work of putting everything away, and pushing the cart into the room as you finish. You stretch up a good foot or so as your tentacles slide back up into your leggings and into your shoes, sighing with mild discomfort at the way you have to disguise your true appearance to work here.

If someone were to get a good look at you they'd wonder what an squid mermaid was doing up on land, considering the mass of strong tentacles that your body has instead of legs, until they noticed you dont have any gills, breathe air, and the strange openings at the ends of your tentacles. You're not a merfolk at all, but the half-demon descendant of a tentacle succubus, who has lived a relatively secretive life as a common inn maid, except for the fortunate women who stay at the inn and are visited by dripping, sensual tentacles late at night, embraced in their bed by a flirty maid who feeds on their energy by tentaclefucking them and using her magic to make their memories hazy like a dream so as to keep her cover safe.

You walk over to a chair to set down and take a breather, there haven't been many travelers lately so you haven't found a good chance to feed on energy, and you wonder what you should do as one of your coworkers walks over to you, a sweet older woman with a kind smile, slight wrinkles, a jolly tummy, and lovely hips and bust. You lick your lips unconciously as she jokes with you asking if you're hungry enough to eat someone, and that you should have lunch with the gals sometime. You joke back with her that you're not good with groups, but you'd love to have lunch together, just the two of us.

She beams happily to you that you should hang out today, and that she'll be right back with her lunchbox, what a sweet woman you remark to yourself as you practically drool watching her walk away. Maybe you can risk propositioning her... worse case scenario you have to skip town incase some people freak out about the news, but you're hungry enough to go for it right now.

As she returns you both go into one of the smaller rooms and as you both sit down at the table in the inn room she asks if you don't have any food today. You begin flirting with her saying you'll be fine just feasting your eyes on her, drawing a blush and a giggle as she begins taking small bites from a sandwhich she had packed.

You chitchat about various things regarding the town and work, and you ask her a bunch about herself, learning she had gotten a traveling sorceress to help her transition her body a couple of decades ago, and that she was also a lesbian, but hadn't found anyone interested in little old her as she enjoyed working her humble job and collecting and reading books. You remark that she's never too old for someone to recognize her allure, dropping more flirty hints to elicit her first question of whether you think she's attractive.

You answer with a suave tone, telling her you'd love to show her how much you're attracted to her. As you take her hand and kiss it, she mentions that they're on break and noone is around, as you answer that you're thinking what she's thinking. She goes to lock the door and you get up and walk over to her, saying you have to disclose something first, gently lifting your long apron and maid skirt, as your tentacles slide out, she asks excitedly if you're a mermaid, only to realize you wouldn't be here on land if you were, and you tell her your true nature, since your memory magic wont work on someone who knows you too well, you have to trust that she'll be okay with it. She responds with a blush, asking if that's why you don't eat with them, and if you want to feed on her sexually. You nod gently, placing your hopes in her hands.

Her lips tremble as she fans herself a bit, telling you that she didn't know such a hot woman would ever want her like this, and you slither closer to her to take her soft cheek in your hand, telling her that you want to make her feel good for more than just a meal, that a sweet woman like herself deserves another woman giving her some loving. She leans into your hand and says you can do whatever you want with her, her composure crumbling as she looks at you with desire.

You pull her closer by the waist, her soft tummy pressing into yours as you kiss her neck, drawing a gasp from her as her hands cling to your back, your busts squishing against each other through your aprons. your tentacles raise up behind her to lift off her apron and start to untie her maid outfit from behind. She gasps as you go to kiss her deeply, slipping your tongue into her mouth as you begin groping her heavy boobs, enjoying the weight in your hands.

As your tentacles finish undressing her from behind, her outfit falls to the ground revealing her stretch marks, and you sink a bit towards the ground, kissing her breasts as your tentacles extend to begin caressing her body all over, you can feel and squeeze every bit of her all at once, and the sensation revs you up. She begins to moan as you suck her tit and one of your tentacles pulls down her panties, revealing her leaky, stubby girldick poking up into the air seeking you out. You smirk and reach down with your hands to stroke her, your tentacles wrapping around her back and legs as you see she is overwhelmed, lifting her onto the nearby bed of the room.

She spreads her legs for you, pulling you on top of her into another deep kiss as your hands seek out hers, slipping your fingers inbetween hers while your tentacles begin to slide around her girldick and prod at her butt. She moans onto your mouth needily as one of your tentacles gently slides the tip of her girldick into its opening, drawing a load moan from her. You giggle as her hips thrust gently into your tentacle sleeve, and you can feel some of her energy flowing into you as a slight pink glow emanates from that tentacle. You slip one of your other tentacles gently into her butt, with some lubrication and numbing magic in order to make the experience more pleasant. She drools in your arms as her girldick gets sucked by your tentacle and her butt gets fucked by another one, both sipping pink energy from her and satisfying your incorporeal hunger.

You continue on for a while, but stop before she gets too exhausted, laying on the bed with her for a while and cuddling until she's caught her breath and tells you how amazing that was. You giggle and boop her nose, telling her you had a wonderful time, and that you'd love to give her sweet loving any time. You both clean up and go on about the rest of your day beaming with happiness and smiling each time you see each other.

The next day one of your other coworkers approaches you with the older woman, asking if it's true that you're a lesbian tentacle demon girl, as you stumble on your words, saying thats pretty much correct, they both ask if they can help feed you today, and you shyly respond that you only have to feed twice a month or so to stay healthy, but they insist, obviously wanting a hot tentacle fuck and feeding you being a convinient excuse to proposition you. You give in to the little succubus in your mind telling you to fuck the brains out of these two sweethearts and follow them to an unused inn room.

It isn't long before you have them both on the bed naked, your tentacles sucking off the older lady while fucking her butt and sucking her tits, and the other girl on her knees getting pumped from behind be your thickest tentacle, with slick demon girlcum leaking out of her hole. You use your hands to stroke the cuntgirls clit while teasing the girlballs of the older gal, both of their gasps and moans sending your senses to heaven.

You fuck them both until they're trembling and covered in demonic girlcum, sucking some of their girlcum off of your fingers as you let them catch their breath. They both become enamored with you every day since, becoming flirty clingy and lovey with you, until the inn manager finds out that you've all been having sex together in the rooms and fires the three of you and you end up all leaving town on a carriage with all of the money you've saved up working there, laughing together all bundled up in cloaks as you leave to find somewhere nice to live together, perhaps a quiet village near the woods or the coast.

[fairytalequeer]

6, 9, 10, 15, and 16! >:)

Hello My Dear DM Who Will Definitely Not Be Using Any Of This To Write Stuff In The TTRPG To Kick My Ass

thanks thank u this is going under a read more bc i KNOW it's going to be longer

6: "I've Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)" - If you could only relive one moment with your f/o forever, what would it be? What would theirs be?

im afraid im quite boring with this and i dont think there's any i would want to relive forever. everyday would be new and special and good :^))) but if there was the chance to relive by choice (be it through vivid dreams recalling it or w/e) i think The First Kiss is a good option. and other kisses. and cuddling. and laughing together. and

9: "Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends" - Does your f/o get along with any of your friends and family? Is there anyone notable they get along very well or poorly with?

creature doesnt have family LOL. what happens if they ever meet again is... debatable. it probably wont go super well. i like to imagine p/ardoes as a really sweet guy who wouldnt get confrontational usually. but if he ever found out what happened with creature (which creature isnt exactly open to sharing most of the time) i think he would for once be pretty pissed off and defensive/protective over creature. even if its just to yell (but magic blasts are also applicable. however considering p/ardoes's own past with destructive magic i dont imagine creature ever wanting him to hurt himself for his sake)

as for friends, they have the same shared friend group so!! they get along well obviously!! yippee!! but p/ardijn (other bestie to p/ardoes) is definitely notable. a trio friend group that CAN be survived. wow! she's very cool and supportive

10: "I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me" - Was it love at sight for both of you or did it take time for you to develop feelings for each other?

you know how it is with that slowburn fix i need. though it IS a complicated situation since creature at least saw a vision of his true love, knows the vision was p/ardoes, and simply just pretends the vision must have been wrong or something. mostly bc he thinks love probably isnt for him. after a while of becoming Besties though that sort of thing is harder too ignore :^) i think p/ardoes is more open to the possibility than creature is (though he doesnt know what creature saw LOL) and is definitely the one to try and get closer first. if "love at first sight" can manifest as a genuine desire for friendship and an unexplained force that draws them to this other person than yea it happened. haha

15: "The Music or the Misery" - Are either of you good when it comes to expressing your feelings to each other? Do any of you struggle with it?

creature sucks at it!!!! at least at first. once a relationship is developed enough he is MUCH better at expressing feelings. but for the time being he's quite terrible

p/ardoes is better at it, obviously. not to say he wouldnt ever struggle with feelings and expressing them, he DEFINITELY does. i just think out of the two that he often has more courage to do so (again, at least at first)

16: "My Heart Is the Worst Kind of Weapon (Demo)" - What’s something either of you have regretted doing while together? Or something you’ve regretted not doing?

already answered!! so here's a quick drawing lmao

credit to the though bubble's drawing goes to YOU!!

[scentedchildnacho]

I hadn't read George simmel before he sat down and asked me why I live here.....so annoyed by the dominant tone asked him what he is talking about what a banal thing to ask of no relevance and I asked him why he was such an edgy man what happened to you anyway that your such an edgy man....and the simmel sociology explained his ego can't function without the blaise character he is being Blaise not edgy ......

Then he kept going at me with do you like it here and what's your plan the cops are going to clean sweep.....so again I was like God man so banal and heretics burned at the stake....meaningless all the time what you mean plan what are you talking about in what benevolent universe do you plan things or is plan the you are not special universe and if the black hole sucks everything into ease the pain....

I was like no man you you sitting there drinking and playing possessed and smoking draws cops other people can't cry about their hard life and their broken back and their busted jaw and throat lesion other people got to keep themselves together cops is you man you are who attract cops other people hurt enough and leave those people alone....

Maybe you should take some responsibility for coming around as such an edgy man...when is the possession going to end

Now did you care if I got to be drunk by now in some area free of cop business no...and so you have to get reported

Awful spoiled veteran doesn't care if only he gets to be drunk and is in the most camera space

Its okay I dont cry when I realize I probably won't ever see a way clearly out of this and this will be all life is just so you know I don't cry or anything anymore

Then I was like sober living can be a nice place so why don't you go to sober living.....and he said it costs money....

And he lives in Malibu and he will go home...so I was like yea if you can go home go there

Messianic or apostolic I don't know man I'm going to be patient till a christ figure arrives then like the stories of the bible....I'm going to finally see a city not a hell hole for women like rapid urbanization to cause factory institutions and angel jail births then I will pick up my mat like the colonial war didn't partially blind and deaf me and go to the shine ing city

Or there won't be any Scorpio rising victory in the end and all my strikes of subtly awful labor conditions will be meaningless and the bad gook will turn everything into pho noodles and no one ever will care if anyone is anyone it will all just be Them and I lose and die

But if you ask me the good in the end gets to win...and all your bullshit pessimism and utilitarian justification of ruining people's lives in the name of saving their life will just not inhabit haunt and torture people anymore

Homelessness....simm theory isn't relevant though he is though merely fashionable.....it's not as important as doomsday theory....like the stimulus that is trying to get you to leave your rural customs was threatening to freeze your pipes and collapse the roof on you

Nor can a hyper stimulus like anti freeze constantly blowing into the house have any comment on the innate or instinctual character of the human being but if your going to be that sped up you could make a pen name like Anne Rice to believe you channelled vampires

I did want him to tell me what happens to veterans and their kids though that they don't have inhibitions and show low impulse control...

Iraq attacking Muslim children for cult military rapes...what happens to you all on base I suggest something truly frightening

What happened to me brain washing...I had to go to the dentist and endure a sodomite military rape also.....then Osama bin laden said my religion doesn't get to go no...I'm inherently eve ill to al quaida and fill up the world with mean spirited prudes like Pakistanis that appear pretty at first and later make an inverse Foucault painting on what a mean religion is...

If you ask me if I had to be disturbed as a child by true nightmares then I think you saw people hang people or cut them up...

[homieswithhades]

why steve rogers returning to the past was wrong

disclaimer: im clearly a stucky enthusiast, but please, do not be thrown off by that. i admit, there may be undertones of bias because of that in the following, but i did my best with trying to lay out the facts and draw logical conclusions, so do please give me a chance. also, i may have accidentaly omitted some moments and some quotes may not be 100% word for word, as my memory lowkey sucks. ALSO this is NOT a peggy hate post!! i think shes a dope and underrated character and quite frankly she was done dirty. but i also definitely h8 the trope of badass woman falls for the hero.

first and foremost, every sane person knows endgame was complete and utter bullshit when dealing with steves character, so this post will be more for you to maybe show (and hopefully convince) some stubborn friend or family member. nice, concise (not) and including proof from the movies (+a few tweets and stucky undertones, if u dont fw that i respect it but bucky is an integral part to steves character regardless of how u interpret their relationship) here is why steves character development was thrown away at the end of endgame.

let us begin at looking at the cap trilogy.

in ca:tfa it should be noted that steve had no one to return to in the 40s, except bucky. i believe steves relationship with peggy was no where near as developed as it should have been to elicit him returning exclusively for her. as we are aware, steves driving force has absolutely always been bucky. bucky was there for steve after his parents died, when he was sick, and always protected him from whatever trouble he got himself into. "until the end of the line" right? steves relationship with peggy was forced and short lived, literally, we're talking a matter of months here. i need to keep emphasising the important disparity between bucky and peggy, as it is absolutely key in this whole argument. steve dropped everything and went against every order just to even attempt to save bucky. even the slightest chance of him surviving being captured was enough for steve to break into a hydra camp and free the 107th division. steve even had the chance to capture zola, one of the main villains and masterminds of the war, but again, steve prioritised bucky. when theyre trying to escape the exploding hydra camp, the exchange between steve and bucky is critical. steve says "go! get out of here!" as all he wanted was bucky escaping safely. he put bucky's life over his own (this wasnt the first time he did this, nor the last) but bucky rooted himself to the spot, and yelled back "no, not without you!". they both escaped safely as we know, and then steve gathers the howling commandos to take down the red skull. bucky then falls off the train, nd steve blames himself for his death, even visibly crying over it twice. steves morals went from "i dont wanna kill anyone. i dont like bullies, i dont care where theyre from" before buckys death, to "i wont stop until all of hydra are dead or captured" after. stuff happens and steve defeats the red skull and is now in control of the flying ship with the bombs. he connects the comms with peggy and she tries to convince him theres another way to disarm the ship. steve was so dedicated at that point he didnt even want to hear it. he didnt even attempt to do anything to ensure his survival. this alone proves, peggy was not important enough to him to return to.

next is ca:tws. The stevebucky movie. in the museum, peggy confirms that steve saved the man from the 107th division who eventually became her husband (steve was never in the 107th, just to clarify) i believe her husbands name was daniel sousa (as revealed in the marvels agents of shield show) steve then finds out peggy is alive and talks to her. she, in short, tells him she's lived her life, and it was his turn to live his in the time hes in. the "my best girl" line was unnecessary and out of place; again, steve barely knew her. again, shit goes down, and steve finds out the winter soldier is bucky and immediately drops everything, and becomes dead set on saving him. not killing, not imprisoning, but saving him. no matter the cost. "he saw me, and he didnt even know me" "hes not the kind you save, hes the kind you stop. he won't recognise you" "he will." god, steve KNEW bucky would recognise him. regardless of the brainwashing, steve managed to break through the barrier hydra fought so hard to drill into buckys mind. nothing ever broke him out of that state exept for steve. "im not gonna fight you, youre my friend." "youre my mission" "then finish it. cos im with you till the end of the line." [[good fucking lord let me break out of my essay-esque semi professional format here and just say how fucking heartbreaking those lines are. oh my god. read them, over and over until it hits you.]] steve shows us again, that he is willing to not only die for bucky, but literally die by his hand. he would let bucky kill him. he'd dropped his shield. he didnt fight back. steve always, always, ALWAYS got up and fought back. always. exept that time. the time bucky could have killed him. that scene is the essence of "im with you till the end of the line" because then, it was true. it was true because steve was okay with dying at buckys mercy. theres a difference between sacrificing yourself for the greater good (steve going into the ice), willing to die for someone (steve risking his life multiple times in attempts to save bucky) and finally, being willing to let someone kill you, because you love and trust them so much (hellicarier scene). the difference between peggy and bucky's relationship to steve is that steve may be willing to die for either, but only willing to be killed by one. not to mention, bucky pulled steve from the river. he recognised him. steve broke through 70 years of brainwashing with such impact it literally drove bucky away from hydra out of his own free will.

in between ca:tws and ca:cw its confirmed (im p sure sam says it) that him and steve looked for bucky for two. years. even off screen, bucky was steves priority.

im going to squeeze in 2 points from from age of ultron here, for chronology's sake:

steves worst nightmare, as portayed in the movie, is LITERALLY going back to the 40s and being stuck there (with peggy too??lmfao) and also the quote "family, stability, the man who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. i think another one came out." objectively confirms that steve isn't the man he used to be, and doesnt want to return to the past. aou may have sucked, but that doesn't mean the character development should be thrown away.

ca:cw. hoo boy. steve went against 117 countries and half of his closest friends and colleagues because he believed bucky was innocent of the bombing of the un conference. god, steve quite literally, did everything to defend and protect bucky. though i shall acknowledge that steve did attend peggy's funeral, however, there was no real connotations there other than the fact he was mourning her death (understabdibly so). steve then proceeds to protect bucky for 2 hours 27 mins and 41 seconds to the point where they escape together to siberia after the airport fight. "i dont know if im worth all this steve" "what you did all those years... it wasnt you. you didnt have a choice." "i know. but i did it" again, absolutely heartbreaking quotes if you read it a couple of times and truly understand the meaning of them. steve somewhat indirectly tells bucky yes, yes he is worth all of this. otherwise, he wouldn't be doing it. a quote to support that would be "for the longest time, i always did what i thought was right." (disclaimer this is not a direct quote i deadass couldnt find it to save my life, i belive steve said it at some point during civil war or tws, but the point is, bucky is the only thing that could have shaken steves morals so intensely.) and finally, the most important part of cw, the fight at the end with tony. bucky and steve constantly protected each other. steve kept fighting because he was fighting for bucky. to keep him safe from tony and the world. he got up, time and time again. "i can do this all day." the fact that he said that to tony, some people consider them the closest of friends, proves again, a million times over, bucky is more important to steve than literally anything else, INCLUDING his shield. his mantle. he dropped it and left it like it was nothing, because his priority was bucky. as always.

theres not much to discuss for infinity war other than their hug whicg was honestly just adorable.

mmmmm endgame. i will not go into how much i hate that movie because it would be a rant quintuple the length of this one. in the support group, steve dead ass fucking says "you gotta move on. you gotta move on" and that sentiment was literally forgotten at the end. my main point for endgame is this. people tend to tell me, the reason steve abandoned bucky and went back to be with peggy is because he knew that he was finally safe. :/. if you had half a braincell youd know that's not true. the steve we know, never would have left bucky for good, ESPECIALLY after the "dont do anything stupid until i get back" exchange [[god i want to beat the shit out of the r*ssos]] mostly because, bucky had fucking no one in the time he was living in!!! no family, no friends and most heartbreakingly, no one he could trust. (yes sam was there but were just seeing their friendship develop now in tfatws, all that wasnt there in endgame) and secondly, what made steve think bucky was entirely safe??? half of the worlds population just suddenly reappeared, which as we see now, there were massive consequences for that. i simply believe steve is not that stupid. steve going back was disrespectful not only to his character, but to bucky AND peggy. most importantly, the steve we've been watching since 2011 would NEVER abandon bucky, no matter how safe he thought he was (he visited him frequently in wakanda, the safest place on the planet arguably ffs) especially for such a dumbass and quite frankly, nonsensical reason as going back to be with peggy, who clearly stated to him she moved on, and so should he (which he did. idk endgame writers prolly didnt watch the previous movies :/) its not even debatable. bucky is more important to steve than peggy. even in terms of screentime.

now allow some tweets to speak for me, this one being the absolute most important one:

ladies and gentlefolk, all of the stuff ive said can be summarised in that last line. "it would be contrary to who he is."

heres some more:

and now finally, id like to briefly mention steve and tfatws, so beware of spoilers (writing this as of ep 4 coming out; praying it doesn't age badly)

bucky mentions steve, unprompted, fucking constantly. he clearly isnt over steve leaving, and im hoping that gets acknowledged and talked out in the show.

in conclusion, tl:dr, steve shouldn't have returned to the past and stayed there, it is contrary to who he is, as shown to us through his trilogy and other appearances in the mcu. not to mention the timeline bullshit in endgame makes zero sense in the first place.

[keingleichgewicht]

WERE YOU KIDDING ABOUT THE ASK GAME if not i dont have any specific lyrics in mind but i always thought the lyrics to the mill were so cool and maybe you could get some thoughts out of them? :0

YEAH GOD OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE MILL. LET’S TALK ABOUT UHHHHHHHHH [THROWS DARTBOARD]

this line. this MIGHT go on for a while so i will............  readmore

so the mill feels kind of notably different to the rest of the pafl songs, which tend to be unusually literal for lyric, either straightforward retellings of events (punch it, punk!) or character piece monologues set to plot visuals (strike 3) or both (all of them, but for instance particularly comfort zone, which is just dmitry’s horrible manifesto until it gets hijacked by a death sentence in the second verse.) the mill is a lot more like what we expect from poetry these days, which is to say it’s heavy on imagery, low on clarity, and fucking confusing!

I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold on to your battered hand Rocked to sleep beneath the snow, she is bathed in youthful glow ‘Strong enough to let it go,’ he says, but darling, I don’t know

a lot of the mill is about circles. this is in the name: a mill is something which turns. a waterwheel is a circle, a grindstone is a circle. it’s even in the melody: the chorus is a cyclic, pentatonic four-note riff that keeps going up and down and up its own ladder, chasing its own tail, not really reaching resolution. and then it’s also in, you know, the story:

the meat grinder!!!! everyone’s favorite fucking hellhole!!!! it is only semi-explicitly identified in the song but that’s because it’s a concept from the source material - both tarkovsky’s stalker and roadside picnic feature the meat-grinder, as a location nicknamed thus by stalkers because it is even more fucking deadly than the rest of the zone, all of which is already ridiculously fucking deadly, and if you’ve seen the movie:

it is more or less instantly recognizable in the mill as well. so here we have a circle! here we have a mill (the title has about seventy double meanings but this is certainly one of them,) and as it turns out, this mill at least will absolutely kill you. and horribly too. interestingly though, in roadside picnic (the book) the meat-grinder is not a tunnel, and it’s not round - it’s just a nondescript patch of ground which will wring you out like a dishcloth and kill you extremely dead if you walk into it. on the other hand what we have in the book in terms of circles is the golden ball, which is the equivalent of the movie’s the room, which is, well,

in short both stories ultimately hinge upon the idea that there is a something in the zone which can give you your heart’s desire. anything you want. everything you want. whatever you want. it is infinitely powerful; it is infinitely capable. the catch is that it will only give you what you want. the catch is that giving you what you want is not the same as giving you what you are asking for. the other catch is that in both cases you have to get through the meat-grinder first.

(so, by the way, what the fuck, right? does pafl’s zone have a wish-granting factory? is it also behind the grinder? where were the original trio going when they got themselves fucked up? and did they get there?)

but the point is: the golden ball, the wish-granting factory, is also a circle. it’s just sort of a sphere. it’s a big round fuckin yellow thing. you know, sorta like:

which is THE ONLY TIME yellow is used in occam’s razor not counting the full-colour shots, and it drives me CRAZY, but it is also me going full conspiracy board so let’s not even worry about it. THE POINT IS.

the circle is the death-machine and the wish-machine. neither of these things are really.... very good. the circle, or at least the arc, is also very closely associated with death:

(розовая дуга предрассветного, ‘rose arc of pre-dawn’. if i’ve fucked up that nominative please feel free to stone me to death!) 

in the gdoc notes to message lost ferry briefly refers to the dawn as if it were a good thing, the dawn of hope, which is a usage that sort of agrees with the desolate and deathless hope of strike 3′s ‘everything will pass / a day will come,’ but on the other hand it really is very closely associated with dying. nikolai bites it; nikita bites it; sergei and olga left significant chunks of themselves behind. and the thing about ‘this too shall pass’ is that it’s always true, as is ‘everything ends’, but of course that’s ‘cause the thing that ends might be you. and as we know

dawn is an ending. so that seems concerning!

i think the circle, the arc, the bolt falling back to the ground, is not a good thing. i am getting a little conspiracy board here in general but forgive me, i cannot make you a wholesome answer, my wit’s diseased. i think the circle is an enclosed space. it’s an unbroken cycle. it’s the grindstone. it’s the mill. it’s about what pafl’s always been about: about being trapped, about having no chances, about being bordered upon. the circle’s the geometric figure of equidistance from a given point, and you can walk on it forever, and nothing will ever change; you will never get closer, you will never get further away, you will never get out! the sun rises, the sun sets, and you are no closer to anything you wanted. it’s worth noting that anya’s borderline city, the zone-edge port town she complains is trying to crush all her dreams, her mill

is a circle. (a cog in a machine! a grind-wheel! a cage!)

and yura, whose dreams have already been burned out of him, who starts the series already resigned to never getting out of here, calls it ‘this dire deja-vu’, i am specifically resisting putting the accent marks back onto that, which is to say, it’s a repetition that haunts him. it’s going round and round and getting nowhere.

so if we bring it back around: drawing a line in the sand, as the phrase is generally used, means setting a border, means saying this far and no further. often it’s yourself you’re setting the border for. you hit some divide you can’t abide crossing so you say this stops here, it may be too early or too late, but i say it stops here. so logically: drawing a circle in the sand means you’ve locked yourself in completely.

I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold your battered hand

the whole first half of this song, i think, is olga promising to grind herself down in a hundred ways if it means she won’t be left alone. how hard can it be to never let it overflow? she may feel lower than the low, she may wish she could just disappear out here, into the postindustrial rust, but though it gets harder all the time she will keep pretending. she isn’t going to burden sergei, or indeed anyone, with her problems, her fears, her scars. she is hurt, but she’s used to it, she’s gotten used to being haunted long ago. she keeps her bad eye covered. she stays within her circle she has drawn. she keeps going round and round. she will take the smallest sliver of human connection and be happy, she promises she will be happy, she promises she won’t ask for more, she will take just the ‘hello.’

but you knooooow it’s not true. you know it’s grinding her down, that she’ll be milled to nothing pretty soon, and really she knows it too.

i am perhaps seventy percent sure that this line is a reference to the windmills of your mind by michel legrande, which features such lines as

Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own Down a hollow to a cavern where the sun has never shone Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind

which on one hand seems sort of obscure to be a purposeful reference but on the other hand would be a hell of a coincidence if it wasn’t, wouldn’t it. either way it characterizes circles ambiguously, but definitely unsettlingly. going around in circles is chasing infinity, but what in god’s name would you do with it if you caught it? what are you even hoping to accomplish? and: 

the second half of this song is bitterer, sharper - staring down the mouth of the meat-grinder she’s a little more willing to admit to herself that this is going nowhere. she is running out of cages to keep herself in. she is very tired. it’s easy to say why don’t you leave it all behind, it’s easy to say, she’s strong enough to let it go, it’s easy to say, too strong to die. it is a lot harder to actually live.

this is also where the flashbacks admit to us how badly hurt they really were - sergei with his whole side in shreds, she still hides her eye but at least we get to see it’s bleeding. this moral compass is forever misaligned, she says, so there is damage, and it is lasting. and she can’t settle for hello, she can’t live like this, she needs someone by her side. the trouble is whether she can believe she has any hope of getting that

as for who ‘her’ is, or the ‘she’ of ‘she is bathed in youthful glow’, i figure there’s two possibilities: either it’s nadya, who haunts olga too, because nikita’s abandonment of nadya represents exactly what she most fears for herself, or it’s olga’s younger, unbroken, binocular self - both of whom were so young, and so easily hurt, and are now unfindable.

and then there’s this conclusion: ‘the sun will rise, until then / i’ll be waiting for you on the other side.’ which maybe is a sort of hope after all? she’s reached no real conclusions in the zone - she knows there must be hope but she can only barely believe in it - she thinks she is destined to self-destruct. but on the other hand she still has that, a version of sergei’s own ‘a day will come’

you may be hurt, but if you can hold yourself together, you can hope for a dawn someday. an ending. a change. but the trouble’s that there’s more than one kind of ending. and there’s more than one meaning for other side. there are cages, and then there are cages. and you know what else looks like a tunnel, a circle?

staring down the barrel of the gun.

[chibsytelford]

Requested by anon - Hear me out. What about a fic where the reader is related to one of the sons (maybe chibs or tig?) And they broke up with her long-term boyfriend and had to move into a clubhouse dorm but since hapoy recently patched over , they spend alot of time together and things happen between them(if you get what i mean😏) and eventually she sleeps in his dorm almost evey night but they keep is secret from the others because they dont know how to approach the situation then one day one of the sons burst into his dorm and are like "hap something happend we need you to- OH COME ON REALLY?". Then they have to explain to the sons shes related to how long its been going on? You can choose how it ends.

A/N - I tweaked the story a little bit, I felt like I would have to write 10k words just to include everything. I hope you still like it nonetheless!

If you want added / removed from my taglist let me know 😊

The thought of having to explain again that you and your ex had broken up had your stomach churning. This was the only one of your boyfriends that Chibs had liked, and you thought it'd be the relationship that you'd have for the rest of your life. Oh how naive you were. 3 years you wasted, thinking that he loved you, that he wanted you, but it turned out that he was doing a pretty good job of faking it all.

As you pulled up to Teller Morrow you gave yourself a quick once over in the rear view mirror. You ran out of tears 4 weeks ago, but you hadn't slept much since the break up 2 months ago, and your eyes were proving that. Your boss was also your best friend, so when you told her you needed time off, she told you to take as long as you needed, and she even suggested you come to Charming for some 'healing' is what she called it. She told you that visiting Chibs - who you called 'Uncle Chibsy' ever since he rescued you and your car 6 or so years ago - would be good for you, and that night you had headed off to Charming and here you were.

Grabbing your suitcase, you locked your car and headed for the doors of the clubhouse. Before you could even reach them you were stopped by a Scottish accent you were oh so familiar with. "Y/N?" Chibs shouted from across the yard. "Is that you?" You turned around and he smiled, holding his arms out for you. You dropped the suitcase -not caring if anything in it broke- and sprinted towards him, jumping into his arms and nearly making him fall backwards.

"Surprise!" You smiled back kissing his cheek as he spun you around. "I've missed you Uncle" you admitted as he finally put you down again, lazily draping an arm around your shoulder.

"What's brought ye here?" He asked, picking your case up for you and holding the door open, as he always did. Chibs led you to a table, grabbed you a beer and plopped himself down beside you.

You had no intention of hiding the breakup from him, you just didn't want to keep talking about it. You had told most people back home over the course of the last few weeks and having to repeat it just made you tired. But you knew better than to keep anything from Chibs. "Dale and I broke up" you shrugged, picking at the label on the bottle. "It is what it is" 

Chibs looked at you, raising his eyebrow and giving you the look. The look that had your walls crumbling, leaving your insecurities on show for him. He was always good at that, knowing when you were hiding something, knowing when you wanted to say something but couldn't. "He told me he didn't love me, that he never did, and never will" you sighed wiping some stray tears away. "3 years" you laughed bitterly, "I'm an idiot". 

"Hey love, you're not an idiot" Chibs said, pulling you so you were now flush against his side. He placed his arm on your shoulder, using his thumb to draw circles on it - a gesture he knew calmed you down. "He's the idiot, and he will be a headless idiot when we are done with him" he said causing you to laugh out loud. The sound made Chibs smile. 

Just then some of the other men came bouncing through the door. You recognized them all from when you had visited Chibs over the years. Juice came through first, followed by Tig and Jax, and then your eyes landed on Happy's. "Hey guys" you said greeting them with a small smile and wave. The men nodded at you and smiled back, but they were too busy grabbing beers and lighting cigarettes to come and speak to you, except Happy who was hovering halfway between you and Chibs and the bar. You pointed to the empty seat at the other side of the table and Happy silently padded over, accepting your invitation. You pushed your beer over to him, inviting him to take a drink, which he did so, before wiping the rim and giving it back to you with a small smile.

"How you been?" Happy asked, genuinely curious. "How's Dale?" The name fell from his lips like venom from a snake. 

"She was just telling me about that asshole" Chibs piped up. "The twat broke up with her" you could have sworn you saw a slight smile grace Happy's face, but you couldn't be sure. "I was just telling Y/N about how we were going to find him and cho-" 

"Chop his balls off?" Happy finished, glancing at you briefly before looking at the Scotsman. 

"I was gonna say head, but balls work too brother" Chibs answered giving Happy a high five, making you laugh and shake your head at the action. 

Dale was soon forgotten as Chibs, Happy and you spent the night laughing, drinking and telling each other stories, which ended up being more embarrassing for you than the other two. 

"I'm going to bed now I think guys" You announced. You had no idea what time it was but a quick glance at your phone told you it was 230am. Time goes fast when you're having fun, and that saying was true for tonight. It was the most fun you had in ages. Chibs stood up to let you out and you bent down to give him a kiss on the cheek, doing the same to Happy too. He already had his cheek waiting for you, you noticed. 

Grabbing your case you headed for Chibs' dorm. The room you always crashed in when you came to visit. Chibs didn't mind sleeping on one of the benches in the clubhouse, or sometimes he even crashed in Tig or Juice's room. You quickly changed the sheets, brushed your teeth and then put one of Chibs t-shirts on. You slipped under the covers and sleep welcomed you quickly, which was the first time in 2 months that had happened.

You had now been in Charming for 2 weeks, and every day was a different day. You started helping out Gemma a bit in the office and you helped to tend the bar. It was the least you could do since they were letting you stay there. You and Happy had developed a strong bond over the last few weeks. After your first night, every night after that was spent with Happy. You guys played pool, drank beer, listened to music and one night Happy even had a go on the karaoke after you begging him constantly. You found yourself intrigued by the man nicknamed The Tacoma Killer by his brothers. 

You hadn't thought or spoken about Dale since the first night you got here. Your thoughts were slowly being taken over by Happy, and you were surprised by how quickly feelings had developed for him. You didn't expect to have feelings for someone so quickly after your last relationship, but you welcomed the feeling. And you knew that Happy felt something for you too. You noticed how he always went out of his way to bump into you, he always asked how you were, he made sure you had everything you needed and he also made you a cup of tea every morning and left it outside Chibs' door. In the 3 years you were with Dale, not once did he make you a cup of tea. 

"Need anything love?" Chibs asked you as you dried the glasses and placed them on the rack behind the bar. You looked up and noticed he had a crow eater on his arm, and you knew his intentions. 

You shook your head. "No, I'm fine thanks" you smiled. "Take your room tonight, give me 2 minutes and I'll change the sheets". Before Chibs could protest you had already left and changed the sheets, returning in a few minutes with your bag. 

"Where will you sleep?" He asked. 

"She'll sleep in my room" Happy said, suddenly appearing behind you, making you jump. "I'll sleep on the floor" he added before Chibs could shut the idea down.

Chibs looked at you and you nodded shyly, agreeing to the proposition. "Night love" he said leading his companion for the night to his dorm.

"Thanks Hap" you turned around and noticed how close Happy was to you. "You didn't have to do that" you smiled.

"Well I did" he said matter of factly. "You ready for bed now?" You nodded, placing the tea towel on the bar and wiping your sweaty hands on your jeans. 

"Lead the way" you murmured, getting slightly nervous. You followed Happy and he showed you where everything was. He pulled out a t-shirt and handed it to you, pointing to his bathroom so you could get changed. The t-shirt covered your thighs and ended at your shins, so you decided not to wear any trousers underneath. As you excited the bathroom, Happy was just finishing up making the bed. He pointed for you, telling you to get in and you did what you were told. 

He was mesmerising. A man who hardly said anything, yet the way he moved had you in awe. He took his kutte off and placed it over the end of the bed, leaving him in his vest and jeans. He took the jeans off too, not caring that you were clearly staring at him. 

Happy grabbed a sleeping bag out of the wardrobe and went to make his bed on the floor but you stopped him. 

"This is silly" you admitted "the bed is big enough for both of us, don't you think?" You had no idea where the sudden confidence came from, and you even caught Happy off guard with it too.

He blinked a few times, looking at you like you had suddenly grown three heads. "Yeah?" was all he could muster, and you nodded encouragingly, patting the space beside you for good measure. 

Happy's movements were slow. He maintained eye contact with you, looking for a trace if regret or hesitation but you didn't give him any. Instead, you curled up under the covers and waited for his warmth. A few seconds later he joined you in bed, switching the lamp off and you were both engulfed in darkness. Neither of you said anything, scared of breaking the silence.

"Goodnight Y/N" Happy whispered eventually. 

"Goodnight Hap" you replied contentedly. 

You were woken by some banging on the door that didn't seem to stop, even after you put a pillow over your head. 

"Happy? Happy? HAAAAAAAPY!" you recognized the voice as Chibs and he sounded like he was in a hurry or needed something urgently. 

You turned around and saw Happy was dead to the world. He looked peaceful but you knew if you didn't wake him up that Chibs was about to burst the door down. You poked him once on the chest but he didn't move. You poked him on the chest again, a bit harder this time but again it was no use. You then turned your poking into nudging and soon you had managed to wake him up. "If you don't let Chibs in he is about to break your door down" you laughed pointing to the door.

Happy huffed and clambered out of the bed. He unlocked the door and yanked it open, coming face to face with Chibs. 

"Finally!" He threw his hands up in the air exasperatedly. "What took ye so long?" 

Happy shrugged. "Y/N had to wake me up".

"Ye don't look like a man who slept on a hard floor all night" Chibs pointed out. 

"That's because he didn't" you said. Chibs poked his head around the corner and raised his eyebrows. "What?" You innocently shrugged "the bed is big enough for 2 of us". 

Chibs held his hands up, not saying anything else. "We can continue this discussion later" he said aiming that comment at you. "Jax needs us" he said to Happy. 

Happy nodded and shut the door, grabbing some clothes from his drawers and putting them on quickly. "Sorry" he mumbled "duty calls".

"Don't worry about it. I'll be waiting for you to get back" this time Happy kissed your cheek and you welcomed the feeling of his lips against your skin. 

"I'll look forward to it" he smiled, and walked out, but not before giving you one last smile. 

@rebelwrites @everyhowlmarksthedead @mayans-sauce @yourwonkywriter @pancakeisreading @mrsmarvelous1995 @encounterthepast @starrynite7114 @trulysuccubus @shelliechen @frightfulnite @scuzmunkie @blessedboo @jadesamhart @fangirlingaesthetics @i-love-scott-mccall @deeandbobbymcgee @gemini0410 @thisishowdynastiesareborn @meteora-fc @withmyteeth @est1887 @justjuiceyboy @destynelseclipsa @rocketqueen @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo @queenbeered @lauraashley93 @talicat713 @jasminee97 @multiyfandomgirl40 @sadeyesgf @anangelwhodidntfall

[jinnwenhe]

regarding romance!

╒══════════════════╕

Used artwork credits

Hop

Bede

Leon

Raihan

╘══════════════════╛

———☆️

Hop🍀

It started as the cliché love story about falling in love with your very own bestfriend

Which, actually turned out great??

His Zacian/Zamazenta loves you as much as it's trainer does, and is willing to protect you from anything

Probably because it observed Hop being protective over you, and proceeding to do the same

Sure it might took a toll on him when you defeated him on the championship semi-finals, but he wanted you to be happy more than anything

He's such a sweetheart even if he doesn't show it much

The type to appreciate small little things, especially when it comes from you

"Let's camp together!!"

You camped together

He got chased by a wild steelix whilst trying to gather data for his research later

His Zamazenta/Zacian was busy playing with your own legendary

*from the distance* "GAH! HELP!"

You ran after him and calmed down the wild steelix

Then you walked to him and checked if he got any wounds or scratches, which leads you to cupping his face gently with a worried look on your face

Hop's blushing

He's freaking out inside

You didn't notice the tint of blush dusting his cheeks,which gradually reddens with each second that passes

"im okay, dont worry" he tried his best reassuring you

Even though he's blushing, he proceeded to press his forehead gently against yours, closing his eyes and smiling

oh no he's cute

You're blushing

haha blushy reader

You let him do his thing, its somewhat calming

He's warmm

His hands are calloused, different from yours; you just remembered this when he placed his hand on top of yours while you were checking for his wounds from before

This just shows how much he's been working off to reach the champion title

And yet he's completely alright with you taking the spotlight

After all, you're his shining star

And he wouldn't have it in any other way

You let him borrow your champion cape

And he lets you borrow his labcoat

It fits just right with you! And it got his scent, which calms you down whenever you're feeling anxious

When you wear his labcoat, you're 1000000000% irresistible to his eyes

"Don't be so adorableee" he said as he pulled you into a hug and burying his face in your neck

You only laughed softly at his reaction. He was blushing too,,,

You often waited for him to finish his lab work, even if it's until late hours

He's a really hard worker, no wonder he stayed until late

"Im sorry for making you wait"

He looks exhausted, but tried his best to pull a bright smile, not wanting to worry you

You only gave him a warm hug, which surprised him at first before he hugs you back and proceed to walk you to your house

💓💓💓 < your heart

Comfort time

There's usually some jerks who'd tease you for being the champion, or flirt with you in an impolite way

If Hop caught on to this, he would politely ask them to leave

If they still dont understand, his legendary comes out of his pokeball and growl at them

He'd ask them one more time to stop bothering you, but this time, with a menacing smile that says "stay here any longer and you wont get to see another daylight"

Then he'd check up on you, asking if you're alright, if they did anything to you or whatnot

Hed wrap his arms around your waist and drape his labcoat over you, because he knows his labcoat always manages to calm you down

"It's okay, you're okay, everything is alright now, c'mere"

You let him hug you as you feel safe around him, and you two stayed in that position until you feel alright again

💕💕

———☆️

Bede🍰

He's not the best at showing affection but at least he tries

You help him come out with quizzes for his gym challenge

And sometimes joke about the poses he makes when practicing

Sometimes, he gets reminded that you're the champion of Galar and he's way out of your trainer level

Which actually motivates him to become the strongest gym leader there is by pushing past his limits

"I'll show you how strong fairy types can be"

He said to himself as he was thinking about you

People kept misunderstanding fairy types after all, and thats a big mistake

You appreciate his efforts in maxing out his strength, and you show it by coming to his fairy stadium whenever he battles a challenger

You texted him "good luck, I'll be cheering 4 u!❤️❤️👍" before his matches start

And you looked at his direction after sending the message

He has just gotten your message, and opened it

Which leads to him blushing furiously as he covers his face with one of his hands

He took a deep breath and tried to regain his composure, only to fail miserably when he saw you looking at his direction with pure ambition and determined eyes as you grinned happily

All that i could say is, he's red as a beet

He wont lose this match, not when you're watching him.

He puts extra effort when you're watching his match, and made sure not to slip up. It'd be embarrassing if he did.

Opal notices this and only smiled seeing her successor acting out of his place whenever you're around

Opal knows something that you dont, and that's Bede's feelings for you

After his match ended, his Hatterene walked towards your direction, pulling you into a tight hug

You were surprised, but apparently Hatterene has grown to like you ever since she first met you

And when you look at Bede's direction, he was looking away with his arms crossed infront of his chest, visibly drowning in embarassment

,,,you wondered, is Bede projecting on his Hatterene or what,

Yes, yes he is

So you asked him if he also wants a hug, which of course he answered with "Why would i want a hug from someone like you? That'd be an insult to me"

You let go of Hatterene and hugged him anyways

He flinched when you hugged him, not knowing where to put his hands and just let them stay still in a defensive pose

Hatterene watched with a smile from behind you, seeing her master in such a flustered state was truly something new for the Pokemon

Not long after, Bede finally let his arms wrap around your waist, giving in to his subconscious and just hug you

he wanted to hug you anyways so thats a win win situation

You were actually surprised when he hugged you back

He smells nice!! Like perfume?? Cologne?? Floral scent

His Hatterene decided to join in and wrapped her arm around you both, making you all hug even more tightly

Bede cant handle this well.

No, not at all.

His face was really red and its hot— in all honesty, its cute, but he was burning

"Why do you have to embarrass me like this?"

You buried your face in his neck, which startled him as he couldn't think at all

"Y-you!!"

He feels nice and soft, so you're not planning to let go any sooner, likewise with Hatterene.

Bede's mind: ASDFGHJKL????—GODDAMMI—

OKAY NOW COMFORT TIME

His true nature would come out when you're not feeling yourself or when people would makw you feel like shit

"Hey.."

His face shows concern, but it still his usual look of coldness— however, his actions are warm despite his cold features

He'd let you wear his coat as he battles anyone who dared to hurt you

"Are you alright now..?"

He cupped your face and made you look at his face, swiping off the tears that stained your face with his thumbs delicately

He hated seeing you cry, and he'll try better next time to make sure you didn't cry

———☆️

Leon🌟

He's kind at all but sometimes he's just... "???????"

Training!! Dates!!

More like battle tower dates because he really admires your strength as a champion

Occasionally, he'd visit your house and check up on you, wondering if you're free for the day for "quality time"

At first, he was surprised to see one of the legendaries answering the door for you

And he couldn't resist to ruffle it's hair

your legendary on the other hand was kind of irritated by it

So it let out a displeased howl

Which leads you to come down stairs and see who is it

"L—leon?"

He looked up and greet you with a goofy grin as your legendary returned to your side, walking with you

He treats you like a gentleman, and sometimes is very strict with your training regimen

In which you usually whine about because you're the current champion and you have no business listening to him

But he'd swoon you with lovely words

And you would easily fall for it

you hate this

You hate him

No you dont

You love him, you could never hate a goofball like him anyways

Hey did i ever mention Leon's sense of direction is shitty

You went on a date in Wyndon a couple of times and he still gets lost everytime

"Ah!! Hey—....."

"Im lost again aren't i?"

He tried to find his way back to you but got surrounded by paparazzis

Even if he's not the current champion

You saved his butt since he couldn't say no to the people and his fans

He said thank you and hugged you, lifting you up to the air before pulling you close to him

This only made you laugh softly as you hugged him back, letting your fingers comb his thick lavender like hair

His body is warm and comforting, you really like his cuddles and hugs

He came into your house one time when you didn't answer his calls or messages, only to find you drown in your anxiety and self loathing

He pulled you in his arms and let you cry on his shoulder until you're all done and alright again

He'd draw circles over your back and tell you reassuring words— tell you that you're more than enough and he's grateful to have you here, alive and well

Your Zacian/Zamazenta got out of it's pokeball and helped you in calming you down too by giving you small licks on your knee

It'd whine whenever you're sad and climb onto your bed, nudging your arm afterwards as if it's asking what's wrong

You're lucky to have them both whenever you need them the most, and they're lucky to have you

———☆️

Raihan 🐲

It's finally the Character y'all been waitin for, dragon boi coming through

Okay serious talk here— Raihan is TALL

His hoodies makes you look smaller than you already are

You tried copying his "Gaooo~" pose a couple of times while wearing his hoodie

Its cutest thing he has ever seen his entire life

It makes him melt everytime

Okay aside from that, he's gentle and laid back, even if his personality is quite the opposite when he's on battle

He's cLINGY ASF

Don't forget his fangs, never forget his fangs

You're actually curious about his fangs since the first day you saw him

And he lets you touch it whenever you like

Youre still curious, because what the hell, its so cool

The first day you saw him after defeating him in a match and gain your gym badge, he immediately took an interest in you and your strength

"Hey Challenger!"

He called you before you tried to take your leave, gaining your attention

He then asked you if you want to practice with him next time, and have a rematch when you've become the champion

You agreed and exchanged numbers

What can i say, he spams you like?????? A lot

And casually sends you pictures of him and his duraludon

You love his dragons, especially flygon

Flygon loves you too, and one time it wanted to come with you

Raihan lets you keep his Flygon and you send him pictures of you with it

He sends emotes of duraludon crying, wanting to join you and your fun trip with Flygon to grab the Champion title

After you took the Champion title, Raihan greeted you with a big hug

And you hug him back with no hesitation

"Congratulations, may i have a selfie with the new Champion?"

He asked in a teasing manner, letting you down on your feet as you nodded

You took a selfie selfwith him numerous times before he posted it to his social media

He captioned 'First person to get a selfie with the new Champion'

He took pride in that, and some of his fans were jealous that you managed to get a selfie with him

From that day onwards, he'd have casual selfies with you, sometimes hilarious one and sometimes its just for showing off

You didn't mind it really, he's a celebrity anyways, so you understand why he does that

"Hey.. do stars have feelings"

It was three am what the fuck Raihan

You squinted at your screen seeing his message

"Why in the Galar would you be awake, dear Dragon tamer?"

You answered him

And immediately he answered "oh? The Champion is awake?"

You guys didn't sleep afterwards and was sending streaks of blurry selfies

It was fun and helped you cheer up

You got some of his blurry pics that he captioned "party rock in the house" when clearly its just him and his pokemons

What a goofball pt.2

You love him anyways shut up

Haha smol reader pt.2

[carynsilver]

Favorite Fics: Lamen/Captive Prince Edition

It’s time for another fic rec post--this time fics about Damen and Laurent from the fabulous Captive Prince trilogy by C.S. Pacat. If you have not read this series, I highly recommend it. Fair warning, it does have some tough stuff in it (cw: consent issues, child abuse, and slavery), but it is so worth it in the end.

Brief synopsis: Damen, crown prince of Akielos, is betrayed by his brother and the woman he loves and given as a slave to Laurent--prickly, frigid, crown prince of Vere and brother of the man Damen killed in war years before. What ensues is rebellion, court politics, intrigue, war, betrayals, and the two most unlikely people--two people who (it seems) could never be together due to the circumstances separating them--falling in love as they try to save their countries, all wrapped up in historical settings based on ancient Greece and France.

And now that I’ve introduced you to the book series, let’s get on to the fics!

the steady running of the hour by jinlinli

This one had to be first on my list, as it picks up at the end of the last book, Kings Rising, and gives more of the details about what happened after that spectacular duel. This is my head cannon for this time period that not described in the books. In fact, the last time I read the series, I was waiting for a particular thing to happen until I realized it was something from this fic! It is a great Laurent POV and works perfectly with cannon.

One the Other by Ruby_Wednesday

This is a cannon-style AU in which Marlas goes much differently. Auguste is killed when the battle was paused under a truce, and 13YO Laurent is sent by his uncle back to Ios as the royal family’s ward and becomes Damen’s responsibility. All the broad strokes of cannon are in this fic, but they play out in new and fascinating ways. I also love how different and yet believable Laurent is growing up with someone who he can depend on, like Damen, instead of with his uncle in Vere. And the way this Laurent helps Damen mature, is good, as well. I really, really love this fic.

And if you want more recommendations by Ruby_Wednesday, you should definitely check out Hold Tight (meet cute as single riders at Disney World) and The Most Wonderful Time (Damen draws “evil” boss Laurent in the company Secret Santa).

Edgewise by asmallwave

This is my favorite fic that addresses the trope of what it would’ve been like if Auguste lived. 

“Thank you, I know exactly how it would have been. You and Auguste would have been slapping each other on the back and watching tournaments, and I would have been trailing around tugging on your sleeve, trying to get a look in edgewise.”

The Masquerade by @dont-touch-the-phlebotinum

This fic is so atmospheric. I love the way it takes cannon Akielos and Vere and makes them into a modern world. And the Damen/Laurent meet cute at a masquerade ball followed by running around through secret passages and climbing over rooftops is amazing.

Lovefool by Kittendiamore

Now we come to the modern, real-world AUs, which are my favorite Captive Prince reading material. And I had to start that portion of this list off with Lovefool. After Jokaste left Damen for his brother, Damen finds a fake date off Craigslist for his family’s annual Valentine’s Day party. Laurent is a performance actor working on his thesis. And the sparks fly--both romantic sparks and otherwise. I particularly love Laurent facing off with Jokaste in this one.

On the Cusp by Kittendiamore

I adore Kittendiamore’s work, and this is another on my must-read list for this fandom. It reminds me of the How I Met Your Mother episode, “The Window.” Damen is a serial monogamist who can find his next significant other in an instant, and Laurent has been in love with his brother’s best friend for years. When Jokaste cheats on Damen, Laurent finally has his chance!

Seriously, you can’t go wrong with any of Kittendiamore’s stories. If you’re looking for something a little more cannon, but with time travel and an Auguste lives plot, try Weighed and Measured, as well.

A Point to Happiness by idratherhaveyou

Panda slippers! This was one of the first AUs I read in this fandom. Damen texts the wrong number, and he and Laurent eventually fall in love. It is fabulous! Nothing more need be said.

Along For the Ride by idratherhaveyou

This one starts a little slow, but Laurent crashes Damen, Nikandros, and Jokaste’s road trip to the Grand Canyon in an attempt to get home to save Nicaise from their uncle. Damen is basically the perfect person in this fic--good hearted and true. Laurent is hurt and untrusting, but really, really wants to. Nicaise is written really well here, and this is one of the best Jokastes that I’ve ever read. She has the potential to be so much more than she was in the series, and this story really picks up on that. This story is good enough and explains everything well enough that it could really stand on its own without fandom to fall back on, but I also love the fandom angles of it.

Star Power by @turtletotem​

This is a celebrity fake dating AU--two of my favorite tropes. The way it addresses the evils of Uncle Reggie as Damen (a rock star) and Laurent (an actor) fall in love while they pretend to be together for fame reasons is masterful. Nicaise really steals the scene in this one, as well, and I love how Kastor meets his just desserts.

Celebrity Status by @tenspencerriedplease​

Damen and Laurent are dating, and Damen doesn’t figure out Laurent is a famous actor until Laurent takes him as a date to his latest movie premier. This is hilarious and cute, and it involves a Damen vs. Nicaise cold war that always makes me laugh.

So, that’s it for this time around. It will be interesting to see how many people actually read this post. It is the first time I’ve done fic recs for a book series. And, if you are interested in other fic recs by me, I’ve also done ones for Stucky, Drarry, Stony, Darcy Lewis, and Malex. 

Thanks again to all you fic writers out there and all the enjoyment you’ve given me, both in general and especially during this crazy time of Covid! I appreciate all of y’all and how hard y’all work to bring us these great stories!

[sailorshadzter]

Prompt: Joffrey reveals himself to be a monster to her towards the start of the stay at Winterfell .Knowing that her parents cant reject the match between herself and the Crown Prince without repercussions,she stages a kidnapping and slips herself into the group heading to the Wall. Maybe she cuts off her hair/dyes her hair/steals some of Brans clothes.Kinda like a Mulan AU I guess?

OOOOOH WOW

this is one of those asks that i have to scroll for a minute to get to!!! but i got to it!!! IM SORRY ITS TAKEN ME SO VERY LONG but inspiration strikes when it strikes. anyways, i might come out with a part 2 / dont tempt me to make this into another au i never finish but man the idea is GOOD.

anyways

i hope it was worth the wait.

As the night begins to dawn, Sansa Stark finds it hard to keep both feet on the ground.

She's lovestruck, falling hard for the golden haired Baratheon prince that's been put before her. With his charming good looks and regal posture, he's enough to make any maiden's heart flutter. In truth, even now with Joffrey and his parents, the King and Queen of the Iron Throne there in her own home, she's finding it hard to believe that she, she, of all people, will be the one to marry the prince. That someday she might be a queen as beautiful as his mother, Cersei Lannister, who smiles so sweetly whenever they meet, who speaks so tenderly, who upon after the betrothal was made official, calls her daughter, as if she so truly were.

"Come my lady, let us take one last walk." It's Joffrey now, bending over his arm in a bow as he approaches where she sits among the other young ladies of Winterfell. They erupt in giggles around her as she blushes to the roots of her hair but nods all the same, reaching out her hand to take his, allowing him to help her up onto her feet. Though she glances towards her mother, who sits engaged in conversation with her father and the King himself, Joffrey tugs on her hand and she can do nothing else besides follow after him. She knows it's inappropriate for her and the prince to sneak off alone like this, but she can't help but to excitedly wonder if he means only to steal her away for a private kiss. Besides, they are to be married in only a few short weeks, so what harm would it do?

They walk together out into the moonlit night, a surprising chill to the air that sends a shiver down her spine. If Joffrey notices, he does not speak on it, rather he continues to lead her through the courtyard where only a handful of guards and nobility mingle. It was astonishing just how many people came along with the King and his family and Sansa isn't certain there would ever be a way to remember all of their names. Along the back, they step into the gardens, the darkening sky pierced by the soft white light of the moon. "I will miss the moonlight of the North," she says as they fall to a stop before the brimming fountain, her lips curving with a smile. "But I suppose I will love it all the more whenever we return."

At her words, Joffrey turns, his expression not one she's seen before. It's not confusion, but rather, it looks like anger. No, it is something far beyond anger, and it frightens her down to her very core. Startled, Sansa begins to stammer an apology, but Joffrey silences her with a wave of his hand. "Return?" He scoffs, looking from her back towards Winterfell and back again. "We'll not be returning here once we leave," he goes on, shaking his head with a scathing sort of laugh that is far more chilling than the wind had been.

"Y-your pardon, I only meant... When we visit..."

"Did you not hear me, my lady... Once we leave here in two days, we shall not be returning. Not you and certainly not me. You will be my queen and you will stay South, where you belong." A strange feeling is creeping up within her; it's cold, it's deep, and it's so very dark. There is something about the way Joffrey says this that she knows it to be true. She realizes then, quite suddenly, that if she leaves with him as intended, she will never again return to Winterfell. She swallows. This isn't right, she thinks, he musn't mean it.

"I know the North is not entirely to your pleasure, but it is my home... I can't imagine never returning," she smiles, hoping her easy going tone is not lost to the shaking of her voice. "You may even grow to enjoy it here, if you give it a chance..." To her horror, Joffrey's hands shoot up and for a single instance, she thinks he means to strike her, but rather he takes hold of her by the upper arms, his grip like a vice. "M-my lord, you're h-hurting me," she whimpers, staring up into Joffrey's blazing eyes.

He leans in close to her, as close as he might have done for the kiss she had once hoped he'd bestow upon her, and breathes a simple reply. "Bid your home farewell, sweetheart, for we ride south in the morning." His grip lessens and then, he lets go entirely, taking a single step back from where she stands. The morning? She thinks, these words sinking in, realizing now that though she'd been told it would be another day before leaving... Evidently, someone had decided that there was no need to stay another night and no one had chosen to tell her. She wonders if this is cruelty on Joffrey's part or kindness of her parents, hoping to spare her the pain of knowing it was her last night home. Either way, it matters not, because she knows there's no way she can go South.

Not ever.

[ x x x ]

As she lays in bed, Sansa can do little else but stare at the ceiling above her bed and wish to be someone else. If she were anybody else, she would not be marrying the prince, and she would not be leaving home. Sansa had tried to explain her feelings to her mother, who had merely laughed and said it was nervous jitters. I had them, too, before I married your father, Cat Stark had said as she brushed out her daughter's hair for bed one last time. The next time she brushed this head of hair, it would be for her wedding day. The longer she spent with her mother that evening, the more Sansa realized she could not simply back out of this wedding. Sansa was not a stupid girl, though Arya might have argued differently, and she knew of the trouble brewing between the families. Between the kingdoms. She's overheard enough whispers and listened to enough speculation between her brothers to know that war was a very real possibility- some said only the good friendship between the Baratheon king and their father was what kept them safe. Sansa also knows, even just from the words spoken during their betrothal, that her marriage with Joffrey solidified the peace between them.

And yet...

The longer she thinks about it, the more she knows that despite it all, she cannot ride South. She knows of the stories, the ones of what happens to Stark men that go to King's Landing... What was stopping something terrible from happening to her as well? There had to be a way, there just had to be a way to free her from this wedding and ultimately, the prison King's Landing was certain to be.

It's just as she's resigning herself to her misery that something comes to her.

One of the stories she had read as a young girl, a story of a princess taken in the dead of night by an evil lord. Said princess was to be rescued by her true love, a shining knight of virtue that rides in on his white horse. And more is coming- it's not just her that is to leave on the morrow- but Jon, as well. Jon, her bastard brother, was being sent to the wall to join the Knight's Watch. He certainly would not be her knight, but if she could somehow slip in among him and the others heading out... Yes, it might possibly work.

But if it's going to work, she must work fast, as she knows the men are set to leave before morning light. And so she leaps from her bed and pulls on her dressing robe. It is late into the night, hours still from the morning call, but there is always the fear of a guard or even her father discovering her out of bed at such an hour. But she says a silent prayer to the Old Gods and then tiptoes from her room.

[ x x x ]

When the morning call comes, she's already gone, a single note hastily scratched in writing she hopes looks entirely unlike her own penmanship.

She's been gone well over an hour by then, for just as she had planned, she manages to slip away among those leaving for the Knight's Watch. With an old cloak draped over her shoulders, she keeps the hood up, shielding from those around her the red hair she's so well known for. Before leaving, she managed to snag some old breeches and shirt from the laundry, and she's braided her hair and tucked it up as much as she could. Luckily for her, she's mostly ignored by the other men, aside from one man who growls at her when she bumps into him halfway into the morning that first day.

The group walks for hours; far longer than she's certainly ever walked at one time. She's tired and she's hungry and she hurts in places she's never hurt before. But, there is a strange sense of warmth comes over her as she settles into a place of her own, away from the others, nearer to the river that runs through the forest. With no knowledge of how to build a fire, Sansa is thankful for the warmth of the summer night and hungry as she is, realizes she's far more tired than anything else. After a sleepless night and endless walking, she will forgo food if only it means she can sleep.

And so she wanders closer to the water's edge, where there beneath the canopy of darkness, she finally lowers her hood.

From where he watches, Jon finds himself intrigued by what he sees.

He can't really say what draws him to follow the hooded figure out to the river beyond simple curioisity. But now as he watches, he sees hands pulling what certainly must be pins from hair and to his shock, long hair comes tumbling down. Now he's really curious.

And just then, a cloud above them shifts and the moonlight illuminates her.

The red hair is vibrant, the pale moonlight weaving between the strands like ribbons. He's stunned, but his foot snaps a twig all the same. When she whips around, it's steel blue eyes he finds himself staring into and Jon wonders, despite sixteen years beneath the same roof as her, he's never noticed that look within her eyes. "Sansa..." Her name is on his lips before he can stop it and he realizes now that she is quite like a deer in the crosshairs, a creature torn between fight and flight.

She can't believe this.

Her fleeting sense of safety has fled, vanished into the night the moment those Stark gray eyes settled upon her. Of course, she can't now understand how she ever expected to avoid Jon forever, but she had hoped to at least be further out than this when they did meet. "Jon," she greets, taking a step away from the river and closer to where he stands. The moonlight is bright and it illuminates Jon in a way that makes her blink, makes her think. "Please..." It's the only plea she can offer, the only words that in this moment, seem right to say.

Jon studies her for a long moment; all things considered, she must have had a good reason to come. Sansa Stark wasn't the type to just... Throw it all away without a reason. Her dream of marriage to a prince was to come true, after all. Her golden haired Prince Joffrey had arrived in Winterfell only days before; a smug, ugly sort of kid that had grown tall, taller than even Robb, but one that had stolen Sansa's heart all the same. Jon wonders what could have made her do what she'd done. "I won't," he promises suddenly, earnestly.

Her face relaxes, she smiles.

She feels safe once again and it is far warmer than it was before.

[bettsfic]

hi betts! i got very interested in your posts esp the implied author. i wanna ask a question (if you dont mind!). so about the implied author, i always feel like that my writings though beautiful always lack mentioned maturity and read very... YA-ish? its not something im trying to achieve. i want to make it more mature and 'classical'. do you have a tips for this? im not aware enough of what to improve on to achieve that, basically. thank you in advance!

this is a great question! unfortunately, though, i don't have a handy dandy term like "implied author" to thoroughly encapsulate my possibly abstract answer.

first, while i understand your goals, i think beautiful prose, and the focus thereof, is still a very important pursuit. there's also nothing wrong with being YA-ish; the implied author comes from a book called the rhetoric of fiction, and the title implies that it's a study of fiction in interaction with an audience. so different readers get different things out of what they read (i wrote about this more in my june newsletter). possibly your perspective is something someone else hasn't seen before, and you've offered them something new without even knowing.

that said, i absolutely understand the drive to have a wider perspective, and write things that you find more complicated and challenging. however, the only way i can answer this is with metaphors couched in narrative, of how i learned about how to approach my writing differently, and which presumably, maybe widened a reader's sense of my implied author (but since i can't be a reader of my own work, there's no way to tell for sure).

so, i once took a creative nonfiction seminar during which i read a whole bunch of memoirs, and the final project was either a research paper or a personal essay. obviously i chose the personal essay. i decided to write about my ex-boyfriend, with whom i'd broken up five years earlier, and i was still very fucked up about it even though we'd been broken up far longer than we were together.

looking back on that essay, it reads like a sales pitch, ten pages of me just pleading with the reader to see my side of the situation, to see how i was the victim, sympathize with me and not him. he's the evil one. hate him with me. please please please.

it was not a good look.

there was a lot of unprocessed grief in that essay, a lot of anger. it was clear i had no wider perspective of the situation other than wallowing in my own narrow feelings about it. i was telling the reader what to think about me, about him, about the situation, rather than conveying the situation as it truly was and allowing them to draw their own conclusions.

in nonfiction, that's terrifying, because it potentially paints me in a negative light. a reader may see my actions and think poorly of me. and honestly, looking back, they should. i was as toxic to my ex as he was to me. i was not good to him at all.

but see, that's an example of me telling you what to think. in the essay, i am pretty much saying outright, "he is evil. hate him." i want to force the reader to be on my side. but after a mental breakdown and a lot of trauma therapy, i was able to step out of the situation and my feelings thereof, and see it from a much wider perspective, and instead of putting my actual emotions on the page, i'm able to illustrate honestly the emotions i felt at the time. i am no longer in the story. i'm outside of it.

here are the events as they actually happened: one night, he didn't come home. i texted him. i tried to call him. i waited a couple more hours and called him again. he came home as i was looking up numbers to nearby hospitals, around four a.m. he wouldn't tell me where he'd been. the next day i found a bunch of hickeys on his neck. i was hurt, and angry, and i pushed him. i told him to get out of my house. he still denied it, and kept denying it for hours longer, until finally admitting he'd been dating someone else for months. i couldn't find it in myself to blame him. to me, it was my fault for not being good enough for him, for not fitting into the shape of someone he could love.

there was more to the story than that; he was financially dependent on me, he was no longer attracted to me and felt trapped in our relationship, my father had just died and i couldn't even begin to grieve over the loss of someone whose life mine revolved around.

but an essay -- or a short story, a novel, a poem -- can't ever render reality exactly as it is. we as writers are always just curators of experiences, images, sentences. there's a lot of fear in that, of leaving out details, of being misunderstood. but that's the inherent risk of art.

the lesson i brought back to fiction is this:

it's not my job as a writer to place judgment on my characters, but to simply convey the story as it happens. my characters may have biases, misperceptions, judgments, and opinions, but they are not mine. widening the implied author, so to speak, is a process of removing yourself from your prose.

obviously you will make characters who are like you in some ways, and so they may share traits with you. they may be identical to you in every way. but they are not you, and cannot be you. possibly the implied author is the absence of ego. or maybe it's an embrace of the self and the world as things that can't be fully known.

i think about films that have a wide implied author versus a narrow one (in my opinion; see above point about fiction as rhetoric). to me, pacific rim has a very wide implied author. even though all the characters in the movie take the events therein very seriously, i know that the mind creating this story knows it's kind of ridiculous, even though it's not a comedy. they know this wild, over-the-top conceit is a vehicle for the more complicated and nuanced experience of intimacy and trust.

a narrow implied author would be zack snyder's justice league. that film leaves me with no evidence that the mind behind it is capable of truly understanding experiences beyond their own, or using their medium to render a nuanced portrayal of being. that doesn't mean snyder isn't, in reality, capable of those things, or that the movie isn't enjoyable on an aesthetic level, but that i found no evidence in the text of, well, themes. it's just...characters doing things. i see no exploration in it, no question that the narrative addresses.

which leads me to my second point, which is that i think the widest implied authors are the ones who are vulnerable enough not to have an answer or conclusion, to simply discover and explore larger questions.

so, what questions do you have? what things do you not know? what are you most afraid to convey or admit?

in some ways, my answer to your question is that you don't have to worry about it, because the implied author is the experience of the reader, which you can't control. however, i think all of us, myself included, can work toward a greater perspective of ourselves and our world, to understand things to a more complex degree. and beautifully, writing helps us do that, at the risk of exposing the things we don't know, the questions we can't answer, our true colors which may be darker and uglier than we'd like to admit.

[mgsdays]

Thank u for always being so sweet and insightful with your asks!!! i love you 🥰

AnYWAYSs, I wanted to ask you a question particular to the timeline of 19days. We have about 300+ chaps of current flashbacks and present time. Do you think, little by little, we will see more present time dynamics? I know this is the SLOWEST of slow burns and I’m wondering that maybe this is how OX wanted to write; maybe they wanted to show that the past is a reflection of their current present selves? Idk im just rambling here but I think that the past connects to their future selves; it explains to us WHY ZZX and JY have that dynamic in the current time, why MGS and HT still banter, etc. i think OX shows us flashbacks from the past to let us understand how these characters really FEEL about their love interest. its a very interesting way to show character development. I think all these flashbacks are building up to something- I don’t know what but they seem really important and we still dont know HOW JY and HT left so yah thats my theory. What do you think? Another question; how do you think MGS and ZZX will realize their feelings in the future time? A lot of the OX art, as you said, shows these boys comfortably loving their partners so Im wondering as well 🤔 We even see HT and MGS with the couple rings so will we see that too?? I hope we do :(( I think it makes sense that we’ll see them as partners eventually- I mean, we have seen a lot of character development till now with only 300 chaps. Little by little, I think we’re gonna get the end product ☺️

I just hope Im alive to see it happen!

Hey love! Thank you for the message, you were so sweet 😊

I am… more pessimistic about future chapters. More than you, in either case haha

I believe we are building up to the boys leaving, but I do not believe we will see much of a future where the couples have figured things out. I’d love to be proven wrong, just to make it clear, but I don’t think so.

I love your point about the past being a reflection of their futures selves. My theory is that the past chapters serve as a way for Old Xian to give us enough info to presume what happens in the future. Kind of a ‘fill in the blanks’ kind of thing. The past chapters show us the boys’ desires and fears and they explain the motivation behind the boys’ actions. The little snippets into their lives allow us to understand a lot about the characters.

They also give Old Xian a way to write a BL without ever really going there.

Chinese censorship is strong. I don’t think we understand the extent of it from the outside. Some BL authors have been sent to jail. There’s a news story from Nov. 2020 that Mo Xiang Tong Xiu, author of the novel for The Untamed, has been sentenced to 3 years. The details of the case, if true, were not disclosed and we don’t know if they were found guilty or not. A woman who wrote a gay themed novel was sentenced to ten years, that one we know for a fact. China allegedly decided to pull The Untamed from streaming services and to halt production of shows that were being made based on BL books.

This is serious deal. Nothing even happens in those stories. The Untamed is based in a romance novel but it completely removed all explicit romance references for the show. Nothing happens it was still pulled! (after it was done! You make zero yuans by censoring a show that already exists. And yet…).

It really sounds like China is cracking down on content that goes against their morality code. Imagine you’re an artist there. Would you risk everything to make your characters date?

For Old Xian, their art is their livelihood. They make 19 days for the exposure and then use their official platforms to post ads that they draw through Mosspaca Advertising Company. If Old Xian explicitly drew the boys in relationships they’d be risking that platform and could even be putting themselves in danger. (Sometimes Old Xian draws relatively tame art and still deletes and reposts an even tamer version. Old Xian is impacted by censorship. The exposure they have doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be safe. Imagine them drawing two explicit relationships.)

TL; DR:

Or, TL;DR: HT and JY leave before the boys have enough time to figure things out. The past gives Old Xian plenty of room to write a beautiful story without crossing censorship laws, and leave us to fill in the blanks about their future.

About how I think it happens, I answered earlier today about zhanyi. For tianshan, I think they get together without Mo ever confessing, exactly. In the future Mo has been aware of He Tian’s feeling for forever. Mo knows. I’ll die on this hill. He knows. When Mo really goes through puberty, really starts experiencing desire himself, I think all of his wants unavoidably circle back to HT. Mo would be somewhat aware of his own feelings for years. 

After HT comes back, one day Mo is just so tired of the frustration, the tension between them, He Tian’s years apart, everything, that Mo just kisses He Tian.

He Tian’s surprised for five seconds. 

Then he catches up. 

He pushes in until he has Mo pressed against a wall. Mo’s gasping, a filthy sound echoing low in the space between them, Mo’s fingers sink into He Tian’s hair for the trouble, pulling tight against He Tian’s scalp. It only spurs He Tian on, He Tian groans against Mo’s lips and presses in even harder- rest is history. Mo allows their dynamic to shift from there. 

I think the sexual part may be easier for Mo to deal with in the future than his own feelings. They stay in this kind of relationship for a long time. 

I imagine X many years into it Mo blurts out his love like it’s obvious, like they both have know about it for forever. I loved this text post. I imagine something like this, Mo says he loves He Tian while cursing He Tian out for whatever and saying a million other things. He Tian freezes in the doorway. He knew but still. Hearing it out loud makes his heart race in his chest. Mo loves him, Mo loves him, Mo loves him. He Tian would be whistling to himself the rest of the year. Mo would find it the most annoying thing ever.

(But, secretly, he’d like it. Mo would like being able to make He Tian feel this way, a warmth blossoming on Mo’s chest at the thought.)

[ifandomus]

The cruelty of the TVA

So I wrote this on a post I reblogged a few days ago (link to the post Here):

‘When you really start to think about it, the TVA is one of the cruelest organisations ever! They see everyones suffering and pain, and not only do they not help them, they also makes sure it keeps happening!! Think about everything horrible that has happened to all the characters. Not only did they not help them, they made sure it would happen!’

And then I rewatched some scenes and it was much worse than I thought. Especially considering this reveal from Sylvie:

Now we dont know how much agency their agents have. But I dont think at least most of them have much choice in what they do. Granted we dont have all the information needed to draw true conclusions of it yet but still. If you look at the list of known members we see that most of them dont even really have true names, its just numbers and letters like a serial number. Unless they are higher up like Ravonna and Mobius.

(I took a screenshot from the mcu wiki)

My guess for now, is that its probably very similar to what the kree did to Carol, and maybe a little similar to what hydra did to Bucky:

Completely suppressing their memories and identity

Gaslighting them

Using them

Preventing them from learning what is actually going on

Just look at this quote from Sylvie right before the confirmation of the reveal:

‘That young soldier from the TVA, her mind was messed up. Everything clouded. I had to pull a memory from hundreds of years prior, before she even fought for them.’

Hundreds of years?! Thats insane! And since she said hundreds it could be anywhere from 200 to 999 years. And since something very minor is enough to get them to arrest someone, that means that someone can be imprisoned and used for hundreds of years without knowing it for being late for work one day (for example)! And here I though the Sokovia accords were bad enough when it came to controlling people (dont get me wrong they still are, but this is worse).

So not only do the timekeepers make sure that horrible events will happen, they also imprison anyone who goes against their plans, then they brainwash and use them to do their dirty work for hundreds of years. And since they reset the timelines they came from they cant go back to their old lives. So the TVA doesnt just take away their memories and identity, they also take away their homes and everyone they love and care about. They took everything from them, which sounds kind of familiar (like Isaiah and Bucky for example). I still think that hydra is the most cruel organisation in the mcu, but the TVA is not far behind.

I am really looking forward to everyone finding out. Some might still be loyal, mostly because they are scared and/or believes in the propaganda. But Im willing to bet that a lot of them are going to be furious. They took literally everything from them apart from that they are still alive.

(Hopefully they can all start a support group or something, after taking down their captors. There are also other characters with similar trauma that could benefit from that. Just please give me people getting good therapy and healing together marvel!)