#but also like. I would be mad too. They’re probably fucking with him on purpose

[winged-wolf-s-collection-of-arts]

Not enough chicken in his soup 😔

[kinopio-writes]

Hello! Could you write platonic Dad!Adam headcanons? Thank you,

A/N: Lol. Don’t expect too much out of this guy because…it’s Adam. Heavily focused on him rather than the reader, sorry. Also, I might have gone a little overboard with this one because, uh, this was supposed to be only headcanons as you said, and the not-requested ‘drabble’ ended up being a few scenarios with a one-on-one convo with Adam and Sera at the end. 3rd POV and the reader is referred to as they/it, btw. Enjoy.

Holy sh!t I reread your request again and I don’t know if you meant that the reader is supposed to be the child or fuuuuuuuu—tell me if that’s not what you wanted, I had fun writing this nonetheless.

Words: 727 (not including the bullet points, edited)

Warnings: Very vulgar language, Sex is mentioned, Adam being Adam

———

How Adam would be as a Father (Reader is the child)

• first things first, the only way I can see Adam become a dad was because he accidentally impregnated a chick when she fucking swore that, oh, no, Adam, I’m on birth control. Oh, don’t worry, Adam, you don’t have to finish in my mouth. Oh, no need, Adam, I’ve got it covered. Oh, it’s okay, Adam—yes, this is Adam mocking her

• so imagine his surprise when he found a fucking child at his doorstep crying like a little bitch

• “What the fuck?” was his first reaction

• he’d find a note that said something-something about oh who gives a fuck about her and her sob story about having to leave the child in his care?

• what mattered was—“THAT FUCKING BITCH LIED TO ME!”

• after that whole ordeal, he would sit in his gigantic ass living room, slumping on his couch with arms crossed and grumbling complaints as if he was the child

• the first few weeks he would really just let someone else take care of the kid

• Lute would be the caretaker most of the time since she’s around Adam a lot

• the problem was that she’s an exterminator

• her purpose was to kill sinners and she certainly didn’t have babysitting on her list of skills

• so eventually, the responsibilities would fall back on Adam

• of course, he had attempted to get in contact with the woman

• he came back with nothing

• wait, nothing? Holy shit, he left the baby—

• and, if you’re wondering, I don’t think Heaven has adoption centers or whatnot because everyone is responsible when they’re thinking of having a child

• but, hey, how hard would looking after a child would be?

• probably accidentally dropped the kid once before

• will get mad that he can’t do his guitar solos because they would start to cry even louder

• has probably nearly suffocated it by leaving a pillow in their crib

• doesn’t know how to hold it properly

• eventually got it right by observing some of Heaven’s residents

• thinks he’s the best dad because of it

• speaking of residents, they most likely don’t know that the first man has a child

• dude, you really think he’d be caught dead with a kid?

• nuh-uh

• sometimes forgets he has a kid

• have left it in his—I headcanon—condominium completely unattended sometimes

• so, uh, yeah…not looking good for Adam here

let’s get on with the scenarios, shall we?

———

Adam covered his ears with his silk pillows, trying to muffle the sounds of that brat’s whining.

“Ugh! Shut up, Shut up!” Of course, it didn’t shut up.

He banged his head on the pillow repeatedly, swearing he was going to fucking throw this fucking child off the fuCKING BALCONY IF IT DOESN’T SHUT UP—

He had enough and went over to the crib in the corner of his bedroom, snarling. “Y’know, since your mommy was such a quiet whore you’d expect the brat to act the same. She should’ve been honored that she even got my dick. Mine. And this is how she fucking repays me?” The child in question looked up at their father, their cries coming to an eventual stop as he rambled on and on. “Finally.”

The moment he left their sight, however, they started to cry once more.

“OH MY GOD—”

———

Adam arrived home tired as shit balls.

“Not fucking now, bitch,” he dismissed when they reached for him from their place in the crib as he flopped himself on his king-sized bed. At least it wasn’t crying. Rather, it was babbling and flailing its hands and feet. While it was a nice change, it was still annoying to listen to.

Eventually, he decided to shut it up and lazily dragged himself over to the crib, picking it up in his hands and setting it near his shoulder.

“Ugh, there there. Or whatever.” He idly patted the child’s back, plopping back on his bed.

Surprisingly, the kid soon fell asleep without further complaints, nuzzling into their father’s comfortable robe.

Ugh, rude. It fell asleep before he could bitch about his day as he usually did. Instead, he grumbled his own day to himself, his eyelids growing heavy as time passed by.

Adam later dozed off with the baby in his arms, snoring loudly as his wings wrapped around him and the child in his seldom peaceful slumber.

———

The living room was dark. Heaven’s natural light poured through his open windows and the TV played a movie that was most definitely not suited for young audiences. At least it wasn’t anything sexual. Heaven forbid.

In the midst of the oddly serene environment that is Adam’s residence, holy light flashed from beside his couch and the tall figure of Sera appeared. Adam instantly turned the TV off.

“Adam, pardon my intrusion. You still haven’t submitted your forms and they were due yesterday—” Sera interrupted herself when her eyes landed on the baby next to the first man.

“Sera, what gives? Can’t you see I’m busy? Where’s your sense of privacy? Jeez.”

“Adam, is that a child?” she asked rather accusatorily.

“Ugh, yeah, so what?”

“I didn’t think you would—where’s your wife?” She brushed her hair back behind her shoulder, her brows furrowed. “Um, I figured that after Lilith and Eve—”

“Pshh, you’d think this guy would settle down for anyone? Puh-lease. Imagine a world where you can’t fuck the original dick. Worse than any nightmare you could ever dream of.” Adam averted his gaze as his shoulders tensed up.

“So you care for this child alone? By yourself?” Sera looked more worried than ever, which Adam instantly latched on to.

“Are you doubting me? I started humankind—I know what I’m doing.” He settled his arms on the headrest, legs raising to rest on the coffee table as he gave a lazy shrug.

“How long have you kept this child?”

“What’s with all the questions? Uh, I dunno, more than two months, I guess?”

“What is its name?”

“Oh, uh…” Shit. He didn’t really think about that. He only kept calling it ‘kid’ or ‘brat’. “Adam Jr!” he blurted out the first thing that went through his mind. “Yeah, that’s right, everyone would immediately know that this kid is from me, Adam.”

Sera only narrowed her eyes. “Very well. I’m surprised you managed to keep this hidden from me. The child—”

“Adam Jr.”

“…Adam Jr. seems to be doing fine in your hands. But raising a child is no easy feat, Adam.” She took a deep breath in and closed her eyes momentarily. “We will have our discussion regarding your work tomorrow. Have a good night.”

As the seraphim was engulfed with holy light once more, vanishing as quickly as she came, Adam was left to think if the hassle was really worth this brat.

[catscidr]

i was thinking about dottore when i woke up again (shocker) nd then thought about what his shaving habits would be like. dont ask how my brain works cw: crack if you rly think about it. also mentions of dead ppl and some blood but it’s nothing major i promise this is just silly

dottore’s facial hair doesn’t grow back that fast because of how often he’s had chemical substances explode in his face. not that his entire face has chemical burns on it (he does have scars, they’re just more in the upper area of his face), but with how long he’s been working with chemicals, accidentally creating explosives was bound to happen.

it all worked out well for him though, because he did not want to rock any kind of facial hair and look like a messy, mad scientist (even if that’s… technically what he was)– he prefers to be clean shaven (i mean have you seen those crisp sideburns on his in-game model?)

and of course, because he’s a doctor, he has steady hands.

…which leads to him occasionally shaving his face with a medical-grade scalpel. his logic, the first time he attempted it, was that scalpels are just straight razors meant for cutting people open– and if he used it to shave his face, it would just become a fancier (and bloodier) straight razor.

(he could probably cut a man open with a straight razor too, anyways. so really– what’s the difference?)

since this man is always so busy he doesn’t have time to leave the lab to go shave and take care of that kind of stuff– and he didn’t really want to, either. his time is precious and deadlines can’t wait.

and since he’s so familiar with the dips and curves of his face (he’s made countless clones of himself, after all) he can simply sit at his desk, toss his mask off of his face, grab the scalpel he’d use for non lethal purposes this time, and look off in the distance to focus on the space between the tips of his fingers prodding at his face, the blade, and his skin to shave off his stubble without nicking himself.

it’s probably the only time you would be able to catch him off guard (if you’re even able to step into his office in the first place), but you would, most likely, be the one caught off guard instead.

what are you even supposed to do when you step into his office and see The Doctor himself with a straight, dead expression, head tilted up with a rusty scalpel to the underside of his jaw? scream, probably.

and the scream you scrumpt was enough to make him jolt from surprise. fortunately for him he didn’t cut his head off, but unfortunately for you, you had made him nick his face.

just a smidge.

a tiny dot of blood trickled down the lower part of his left cheek, curving down his jaw. you’re both staring at each other- while you had a multitude of questions begging to be spoken out to get answers (because what the fuck was he doing), his own mind is eerily quiet. all he does is… stare at you.

funnily enough, you felt miles more intimidated being stared down by a considerably more casual dottore; his face unmasked, expressionless red eyes boring holes into your face, patchy stubble on his face (from him not having finished shaving), and gloveless hands frozen in the air- one holding the scalpel, the other in the same position as before but now stunted below his jaw.

(one particular observation that bubbled up to the forefront of your mind was, stupidly enough, “so minty blue really is his natural hair color?”)

he kicks you out of his office with a flat glare and a wave of his free hand so he can finish his job.

[poppy-metal]

Okay so I’m obviously stuck on the idea of being established with Art and Tashi and them bringing Patrick in atm 😞💔 BUT do you think there’s any contention in the dynamics while they’re trying to find a nice balance between the three of them?

Like bickering or getting pissed because Art can be way too lenient, and maybe he doubles down because Tashi and Patrick are so unshakable that he thinks you need someone on your side, but Patrick can’t fucking stand how much he coddles you. He thinks it’s so boring and he’s taking all the fun out of everything.

And Art gets mad because Patrick can be too harsh, too intense. Like Art safewords out for you because Patrick is slapping you and he’s going to leave bruises. And Tashi gets mad because he’s overstepping.

And idk just early in the dynamic I imagine it would be kind of clumsy because there’s a whole new personality in the mix, and doubly worse because it’s Patrick.

i love this dynamic sooooo much. you think it'd be easy because everyone wants eachother but its not. arts still struggling with his marriage being open at all - with the way he was raised polygamy is just not something he ever thought he'd be okay with. being nonmomgamous still fills him with shame sometimes like he needs reassurance constantly that everyone wants this, that hes not making anyone feel neglected. there's also feelings of possessiveness like he doesn't want to share you with patrick, i think out of everyone you and him struggle the most with jealousy.

tashi probably has the least struggle with it - but it's a lot of new things and stuff changes and shifts alot and she has to gentle herself. accounting for all of your feelings isn't something she's used to and she slips up alot, is flippant when she should be more considerate. doesn't see things from someone elses point of view - that kind of thing. she thinks everyone should be more like her, and that feelings not explicitly stated aren't worth her time.

patrick is just a ball of energy. he already loves tashi and art. i think it's easy for him to fall for you too - but he deals with some deep hidden resentment that you're the coddled one and his emotions got treated like dirt over the years. its annoying and you're such a little baby he wonders how tashi can tolerate you - but then again she'd always liked her submissive little lambs that she could lead to slaughter. he wants to be the one doing the slaughtering. its hard for patrick to baby anyone - he's always been blunt as hell and brash and it leads to alot of tension between the two of you.

I think he purposely provokes you and pokes at your insecurities. like at first you aren't ready to sleep with him and that irritates him because you obviously think hes hot - so he makes sure whenever he's fucked tashi or art that you know about it, just to rile you up. and when you're in bed together her purposely hoards attention - he's commanding enough of a presence to get away with it, too. Its so easy to get lost in him, the pull he has over you all is really something. the ability to make art beg to suck his cock, the ability to make tashi whimper - he can both of them wrapped around his body and it'll take a few moments before one of them remembers to bring you in - he does it on purpose and it makes you want to claw his eyes out.

I think you refuse to sleep together with them all together like that for awhile and its what the breaking point is because art gets pissed - confronts patrick on how he bullies you, and patrick just laughs because you want him to bully you. you just wont admit it.

think it ends with patrick getting real fed up with you and pushing you too far one night - or beyond what you've been pushed before with art and tashi - with him calling you a fucking whore and how you probably want him to just take what he wants from you, huh? you're babied enough as it is you want to be fucked like the little brat you are. you want him to sneak into your room at night when mommy and daddy aren't home and force himself into your little cunny and keep going even when you struggle and cry for him to stop. you want him to violate you.

"stop." art would say, flushed and panicked. he doesn't know if hes speaking for himself or for you. "red. stop - she doesn't like it."

and you have tears in your eyes, its true. but not for the reason he thinks. still - you let him gather you up. hold you against him. sheild you from patrick like hes a scary monster.

everyone's upset.

tashi's upset art would presume to know what you'd want - art would snap that there are times she was too self involved to know what was upsetting you before and tashi would go quiet - and then patrick would get angry at everyone for being so fucking horrible at communicating, like its a mess. he probably threatens to just leave like - "this is too fucking much -" and art yells at him to leave, then. they were fine without him before, they'll be fine without him now.

and your eyes get wide because you didn't mean for this to happen. you want to open your mouth and say that you're fine - that its okay. that what patrick said was right and you do want all those things to happen you just cant voice it because you dont want to be a bad girl. you're art and tashi's good girl and now you want to be bad for someone and its all confusing in your head and you just chew on your lip as they all fight over you and you tune out.

eventually you come too, and you realize patrick has really left. packed his things. and you feel your stomach drop. and when you ask where he went art gets this sour look on his face, stiff and frozen over and something you hadn't seen in awhile - and he just shrugs like it doesn't matter even though it clearly does. "doesn't matter. we should've never brought him in, in the first place, baby. im sorry." he drags you into his lap and kisses the side of your head and pretends its fine but you know better.

tashi is more distant and interactions feel forced and cordial and sometimes tashi looks at you like she blames you for it all - and you realize she has a right to because it is your fault.

because of your own fear of your own desires you'd let patrick be pushed out. you used to think that might give you relief, to be the center of attention again. but the absence of patrick eats away at you just as much.

you think you should have just stopped being a brat and let patrick in. stopped being sp stubborn and admit you liked him and wanted him to touch you in a different kind of way.

It's probably weeks later until you finally decide to pull on your big girl panties and talk to art and tashi - tell them what would have saved you all alot of trouble from the start - that you think you're in love with patrick zweig, and you want him back. you want to be a family again.

just thinking about how aggravated patrick would be - spit out TWICE by people he thought cared about him who'd rather choose eachother than admit they want him. thinking about how it'll take alot more than showing up at his apartment and saying you want him back. because do you? do you really?

thinking you might just have to get on your knees and beg.

[calaisreno]

A Tiny Bit Not Good

1559 Words / Prompt: Experiment

“I made you coffee.” 

Frowning, John turns and regards his flatmate. Sherlock never makes him coffee, tea, or anything else. And he’s smiling, which in itself is alarming—not that genuine smile that occasionally creeps through. It’s that creepy, sociopath smile.

“You never make coffee.”

“I just did. Don’t you like it?”

John takes a sip, only to be polite. “Ugh. I don’t take sugar.”

Disappointment pulls at the corners of Sherlock’s mouth. 

Well, no sense in letting a good deed go unrewarded. If encouraged, Sherlock might develop a habit of doing nice things. 

“It’s fine, Sherlock. I needed a pick-me-up.” John takes another sip. There’s a strange under-taste to the coffee. Probably decaf. “I appreciate the gesture.”

His mad flatmate studies him with a strange expression. He’s watching John’s mouth. Or maybe his throat. John takes another sip. Swallows.

He frowns. “You don’t usually make coffee.” His voice is unusually squeaky. “Ta for that.” When he says this, his voice breaks. 

“Scratchy throat,” suggests Sherlock. “Drink up.”

He drains the mug, and looks up at Sherlock. Bloody hell, he’s tall…  Reaching to set the empty mug on the counter, he finds it’s now above his head. Why is he on the floor? Everything is tall. 

He also notices that his dressing gown has fallen off and he’s standing in the middle of the kitchen, naked. 

As Sherlock takes the mug from his hand, John notices how small his own hand seems by comparison. He looks down at himself. Other things are small as well. 

“What did you do?” He looks up at his flatmate and understands that the coffee was not a nice gesture, the strange taste not a mistake, and the fact that he’s only three feet tall is— 

“An experiment.” Sherlock smiles in the way he does when he’s found something particularly interesting under the lens of his microscope. 

“You shrank me!”

“No, John. What purpose would that serve? I did not shrink you; I de-aged you.”

There are a number of questions that occur to John, but only one word makes it out of his mouth: “Fuck!”

If things can get worse, John thinks, they generally do. Especially when Sherlock is experimenting. The downstairs door bangs and Lestrade is taking the steps two at a time. The game is clearly afoot.

“Sherlock, I’ve—“ The DI stares at John. “Who’s this?”

“This is John’s nephew, Hamish.”

“Where’s John?” 

Sherlock picks his (naked!) flatmate up, jostles him on his hip. (Picks him up?!?) “He’s working today. I’m babysitting.” He plants a kiss on John’s forehead. “Isn’t that right, my little man?” 

“I’m not a baby.” His voice sounds high, petulant. “I’m not your little man.”

“Somebody’s cranky,” says Lestrade, grinning. “Maybe he needs a little N-A-P.”

“I can spell,” he tells the DI. “And I’m not taking a nap.” He turns his wrath on Sherlock, kicking his tiny feet against his hip. “Put me down, you fucking tit— now! I have to go pee-pee.”

Once potty-time is sorted, John is dressed in a tiny pair of corduroy trousers and a little beige jumper. The fact that Sherlock has these on hand shows more premeditation than John cares to think about. Once Sherlock has tied his shoes (John seems to have forgotten whether the bunny goes around the tree or into the hole), they head off to the crime scene. 

Donovan laughs when she sees him holding Sherlock’s hand. “Not gay,” he snaps. 

“I see Sherlock has found himself a tiny doctor!” She’s modulating her voice as if John were a puppy or a— 

“—baby? Absolutely not, Sherlock! You can’t bring a kid to a crime scene.”

“He’s very mature,” Sherlock tells Lestrade. 

While Sherlock is arguing with the DI, John is already examining the corpse. 

“Asphyxiation,” he tells them. “Note the petechiae.”

“Too much telly,” Sherlock explains. 

“Honestly,” Sally huffs. “Who would leave a child with you, Freak?” She takes John’s hand, then grabs him under the arms when he pulls away, shifts him to her hip. “What were your mummy and daddy thinking?”

“They’re dead,” he informs her. “And Sherlock isn’t a freak. If you ever call him that again, I’m gonna hit you.” He raises a tiny fist threateningly. 

“Look at you,” she says, grinning. “You’re adorable.”

“Come along, Hamish,” Sherlock says, scooping him out of her arms. “Time for that nap you refused earlier.” 

He is starting to feel a bit sleepy, but to admit this will only result in him being confined to his room. And he has no intention of letting Sherlock get away with this experiment. 

Even so, he finds his head dropping to Sherlock’s shoulder in the cab.

Growing takes a lot of energy. He hopes he’s growing, at least, as he falls asleep on the sofa. 

At six o’clock the front bell rings, and John has a terrible feeling he’s forgotten something. He hears Mrs Hudson open it and begin talking to a woman. 

“My date!” he says, sliding off the sofa and heading for the stairs. “I almost forgot. Tell her I’ll be right down.”

“Your date?” Sherlock chuckles. “Won’t she be a bit… erm… put off?”

He looks down at himself. “Jesus. I forgot. Look, will you just—“ 

But before he can complete his thought, Alicia is at the door, looking annoyed. 

“Is John here?” She gives Sherlock a disdainful look. “You must be his flatmate, the one he always talks about.”

Sherlock smiles. “John’s busy. He told me to tell you—“

John steps up. “I thought we might see a movie tonight.”

“Movie?” She laughs. 

“There’s this one about dragons,” he begins.

“Too scary.” Sherlock picks him up again. 

“Why do you keep doing that?” John kicks and flails, trying to land a hit, but Sherlock’s arms are very long.

“I’m afraid John won’t be able to take you to a movie,” Sherlock informs Alicia. “Actually, he prefers much younger women.”

Her eyes bug out, then narrow. “Is this his kid? He never said anything about having  a kid.”

“It’s a surprise.”

John isn’t very sorry to hear the front door slam. Alicia really was a bit old for him. 

He sighs. “Sherlock, I want to be a grownup again. Please reverse this— whatever you did to me.” His eyes fill with tears and he feels his lip trembling. “Please.”

Sherlock squats down and studies him. “Fascinating. Not only has your body de-aged, your brain is becoming less mature as well. You have the body and emotions of a small child. But your memory remains intact. At the crime scene, you were able to determine the cause of death, referring to information you acquired as an adult. Do you understand the implications of this, John? It could revolutionise education— think, if we could just restore a brain’s plasticity, learning might be unlimited.”

John rubs his eyes. “Please turn me back. I don’t wanna be a ‘speriment.”

“But this is ground-breaking!”

“But… but who’ll take care of me? Who’ll make me sandwiches and tell me stories and tuck me into bed at night? Who’ll make sure that bad people don’t hurt me?”

Sherlock pulls him into his lap. “No worries. I’ll do all that, John.”

“No, you won’t! You’ll run off to a crime scene and leave me by myself. You’ll get hurt and be in hospital and I’ll be all alone. Or maybe you’ll die again—” At this he burst into tears. 

Sherlock pats his back until John’s cries turn to hiccups. “You’re right, John. I’d be a terrible parent. And I’m afraid that a re-aging drug hasn’t yet been perfected. You’ll just have to grow up, I’m afraid. Maybe some nice family will adopt you.”

This pronouncement causes another spell of crying. 

Sherlock carries his flatmate into the kitchen and sets him on his chair. He opens his phone, types a message and sends it. Then he makes coffee. 

As John watches, he adds two teaspoons of sugar to his cup and stirs. Then he drinks it down. 

“What are you doing?” John hops off the chair, begins to pull at Sherlock’s trousers. “Sherlock, don’t!”

“It’s the only way, John. I turned you into a child; it’s only fair that I suffer the same fate.”

The trousers become loose and slip to the floor, the shirt swallows him up, and within thirty seconds, Sherlock is looking John in the eye, smiling. 

“You’re naked,” John says, giggling. “Maybe we can take a bath.”

“I hate baths,” Sherlock replies, very haughty for someone who is barely three feet tall. “Wait, are you taller than me?”

John laughs. “We’re both little! But who’s going to take care of us?”

The bell downstairs rings. They hear Mrs Hudson talking to someone, then heavy feet ascending the stairs. 

“Sherlock, what have you done?” Mycroft looks annoyed, then somewhat puzzled. Then he seems to realise. “Oh, dear god! How did you get your hands on it? I told you the antidote hadn’t been perfected yet!”

“I’d like some ginger nuts,” Sherlock replies. “And some milk to go with them. And before you ask, I refuse to take a nap. Naps are boring.”

“I’m afraid it’s not up to you, little brother.” He turns his glare on John. “And I hope I won’t have to threaten you as well, Doctor.”

John does not flinch. “I think we’d both find that embarrassing, Dumbarse.”

... you can imagine the rest, Dear Reader. Mycroft had no plans to raise children, but I think we know who's responsible for this tiny adventure.

Comment on AO3

[whumpy-wyrms]

UMMM… IT’S TIME TO GET WEIRD, OKAY? Bill Cipher and Anton meeting and getting silly is not leaving my head and it’s HIS FAULT. book of bill spoilers probably and some vague tllr spoilers that i’ve already talked about before

something something it is five years ago from present day tllr and Anton is depressed as fuck for reasons i cannot say (but you all can probably put the pieces together by now). he’s alone because Pierce left, he’s the most sad sopping pathetic wet cat he has ever been, and he decides to do a shit ton of horrible experiments on himself and clones of himself because he has nothing left and science is the only thing that he knows. but even still, he has no goal and no motive, his clones become horrible fucked up abominations that are an insult to life itself. he wallows away in his own misery and drinks glowing green science liquid to the ease the pain of reality and fucks with his own memories and he really doesn’t gaf anymore about what happens to him. this is all canon btw

ummm Bill fucking Cipher notices a genius scientist who’s alone and sad and has nothing to lose. you know what that means!

Anton’s a weirdo, Anton’s an outcast i mean he was created by a mad scientist and has lived isolated in a secret lab doing science all his life for fucks sake. he has no purpose anymore and Bill decides to give him one. Anton has never really considered the possibility of inter-dimensional travel because he and Pierce had always been focused on their goal of immortality and the limits of the human body. so this is something new and interesting and something that has absolutely nothing to do with Pierce so he jumps at the opportunity.

Anton is also. sad and alone! he wants a friend so bad and he is sooo easily manipulated! he hates humans (Pierce) and does not care if this weird floating triangle demon is a danger to humanity because every human he has ever known has either hurt so many people including him (Pierce) or left him (died).

they make a deal!!!! fuck yeah!!!! they shake hands and blue fire and shit!!!!!

so Anton finally finds his purpose again. and that purpose is helping this weird little muse in his head build a portal to other worlds. he does not know that Bill is only using him to create a gateway to the nightmare realm and cause the apocalypse so he can take over the universe. and if he did know that, he may or may not change his mind about all of this i mean he’s a bit fucked up too

Anton is kinda like Ford in this part, he sees Bill as a friend and likes hanging out with him and misses him when he leaves for months at a time. he lets Bill enter his mind whenever he wants and possess him (Banton) and thinks he’s the answer to everything. they have fun together. they get silly together.

um obviously this does not last forever as Bill is a sadistic manipulative freak who was only using Anton for his own personal gain and after Anton found meaning to life again he kinda realized that he DIDN’T want the world to end after all. Anton is scared as fuck of Bill now and tries to kill him just like Ford and that definitely drives him to the brink of madness. Anton whumpee arc am i right

OR maybeee not maybe he helped Bill do it and weirdmageddon happened and it was a fun and joyous time. Anton is weird!!!! he might have actually done it that son of a bitch!!!!

also debating if i want Anton to just move to Gravity Falls after Pierce leaves. maybe he is just like Ford and just wants to study the weirdness there and then comes across some stuff and summons Bill. but i also like the idea of Anton building that huge triangular portal in his own lab.

Dew sadly wouldn’t be in this au because it takes place five years before Anton decided to get his shit together and get another actual test subject. maybe this is a good thing. Basil is here though and hmmmm i dunno what her opinion on Bill would be honestly. i don’t know if Anton would actually tell her about Bill but i think he would. maybe they’re all friends

i don’t know what else to say ummmm i probably won’t actually Write this au but im definitely gonna draw stuff for it maybe in the form of tiny little comics and silly drawings. the idea of Bill possessing Anton is the silliest thing ever it fills me with so much joy. i’m not sure if they would fix each other or make each other worse. those two are just two silly guys looking for chaos and who cares if they’re a bit fucked up and evil honestly. my two favorite blorbos who make me the most insane are both rotating in my head at the same time and i’m interested to know how this will change me as a person

hold on a minute here i just thought of something ELSE! let’s say this au takes place years after Dew and Anton hypothetically go their separate ways. in this hypothetical scenario let’s say that after Basil died, Anton decided to let Dew go for real because he felt bad or something (actual au that has been a WIP for months lmao).

Anton meets Bill and weirdmageddon happens oopsie daisy. Anton’s regretting it and escapes Bill and is trying to survive the apocalypse while also trying to figure out a way to take Bill down. thennn he finds Dew :3 out in the wild. Dew is scared because he hasn’t seen Anton in years and he’s scared he’s gonna be taken back but um also the apocalypse is happening and Anton seems pretty fucked up and maybe this is his best chance at survival. maybe Anton came to Dew for help because he is literally the only other person he knows in the world because Anton is a little freak who doesn’t leave his forest and socialize with other human beings. maybe Dew realizes that Anton had literally nobody else to turn to. besides Pierce i guess but let’s say that when Anton first met Bill, they both killed Pierce together because he hates him.

the point is that this scenario is so wholesome and silly like yeah Dew hasn’t seen his tormentor in years and now he’s back and all sad and asking for help saving the world from the apocalypse that he caused!! Dew really doesn’t want anything to do with him but! he also doesn’t wanna die! and Anton is the only person who knows what he’s doing here

cue Bill using Dew against Anton like how he used Dipper and Mable and Stan against Ford. Anton cares about Dew and will do anything Bill wants just so he won’t hurt him. crazy shit guys my brain wow my brain

i probably have more stuff to say but this is everything so far. if this au is cringe and dumb do not tell me that alright my autism level is catastrophic and i’m thinking so much about this. i’m also gonna get a bill cipher tattoo once i get the money because i’ve wanted one since i was 12, that’s how much this weird triangle freak means to me. and yall already know how much Anton means to me so yeah… this au makes me a very happy camper

oh SHIT!!! WHAT ABOUT MAX??? well uhhhmmmm ummmm i’ll think of something! i’ll definitely think of something and post about it when i do! (or yall can throw more ideas at me and i will eat them up pls pls feed me i mean talk to me about this au i need enrichment in my enclosure)

[joocomics]

wait okay I have TWO THOUGHTS 🤭 and they’re both about jungsu bc I have issues anyway

Jungsu who lets you get away with your teasing and bratty behavior in public but at home?? Oh as soon as that front door closes he has you bent over the counter, panties down and he’s suddenly livid. Talking about how you’re a dirty whore and deserve to be punished. His favorite form of punishment is fingering you until you’re at the brink of an orgasm only for him to pull his digits out and mock you!!!!! 😮‍💨 he’s slapping your pussy so good tew like?!?!? snickering in your ear about how “you need to be a big girl and take the punishment he gives” AH OKAY? Or maybe even a little bit of “sluts don’t deserve to cum do they? don’t think so, sweetheart” pls I’m losing itttt

THE SECOND THOUGHT I HAVE… so like jungsu who is OBSESSEDDDD with marking and will silently beg for you to mark him up during sex and whatnot. Jungsu who purposely buys you the pretty pink & red lipsticks because he wants to have them temporarily stain his skin alongside the sloppy hickeys you leave on his chest and neck, maybe even a few on his jawline so he can brag about you to the other members (jungsu would totally be the type to constantly talk ab his s/o imo!!!) imagine wearing one of the said lipsticks he’d bought you and giving him the best head of his whole damn life phewww and when yours done his dick has delicious rings of pink and red up and down the shaft, like little tattoos of where your mouth had been. He’d be so impressed and elated by it too he’d take a few pictures JKSSWOSIJZ

in conclusion I really really really want this man to ruin my life!!!!!!!! Also if this is incoherent PLS ITS 1 AM AND IM KINDA GOING CRAZYYY😭😭

and here you are RUINING MINE with these thoughts oh my GOD listen … HEAR ME OUT

why not combine both?????????

jungsu who is once again frustrated with your bratty attitude, but is trying to think of a new way to get it back at you. the number of times he’s punished you is not small, and his techniques are beginning to repeat themselves, so he wants something new. something he knows is going to really make you mad and wet ofc. so he starts his punishment early - he doesn’t fuck you for days. one day he’s busy practicing, another he’s working on a song, the next he has a meeting. and so on, and so on. until one night he’s finally chilling in your bedroom, and you get on top of him fully naked. he reminds you about the punishment you still have yet to take, and you get soo excited. you’re so freaking needy and horny, you will take anything - you cannot wait for him to make your behind red, all marked with the shape of his palm; you cannot wait for his fingers to ruin your pussy with an hour long edging and multiple orgasms that feel like forever. but he has something different in mind. instead, he makes you wear your new pretty lipsticks he bought you and give him the best deep throat you’re capable of. he picks you by the hair to check if the color is still there and if it’s not he makes you reapply it before sucking him back into your mouth. after he cums he erases completely the lipstick with his mouth, giving you mindblowing erotic kisses that make your legs shake, and then he puts another color himself - this time hot red maybe? he squeezes your jaw harshly, putting the lipstick on very carefully while you think that maybe now he’s going to touch you. however, he lays down forcing you to cover his whole body up and down with kisses while his orgasm cools down. “press harder, sweetheart, i can barely see this one.” you even draw a few hearts on his chest with the lipstick 🥲 you suck his neck desperately while sitting in his lap and he’s soo happy to feel you dripping. your hole is probably clenching around nothing too. after you’re done with this task, he orders you to make him cum again. he fills your mouth and you swallow every drop like the good girl you are trying to be. he swipes your lips with his tip, enjoying the red stains all over his length. “made my cock look all pretty, baby,” he smirks tapping your face with it. “wish i could fuck your pussy while it looks like this.” you blink at him confused??? “but… aren’t you—“ “nah, baby.. wait, did you think i’m gonna fuck you? awh, sweetheart” he strokes your cheek with a pout. “bad girls don’t get to cum.” and he goes to sleep <3

the next day he’s giving you the best orgasm tho

[evansbby]

Ari and bunny baby are just too cute 🥹🫶!!!

I can’t get over how he’s just sooooo in awe of her 🥹!!! He’s seriously sat there just looking at her and admiring her sweetness and innocence and adorableness uuuhhh it makes my heart swell that he’s actually head over heels for her 🫶🫶🫶

But fuck, you look way too cute — it should be illegal. With your fluffy little ears covering your face bashfully and your tail twitching against his leg as you cuddle into him. Goddamit, why did you have to be so cuddly and cute??

Lloyd would probably say that Ari was completely wrapped around your pinkie finger but the truth is that Ari can’t help but find you so adorable. And it’s not like you misbehave on purpose—you can’t help it that you’re so dumb and can’t understand right from wrong most of the time. Awww Ari making excuses for his baby bunny’s misbehaviours - we love a forgiving king 🥹🫶

How can Ari stay mad at you? When you look so cute and innocent? He can’t help but rain kisses all over your face till you’re giggling once more, your tears drying in your cheeks as you promise never to say the bad word ever again.

Ari says as he tugs your ear playfully before kissing your tears off your cheek.

His huge softness and awe for her with his dark depraved assertiveness (I mean he’s still ready to belt her and put her in her cage if he feels like it 😵🥵) is such a sexi combination omfg

I love that she has just his number as her only phone contact awww, and the emojis she added next to his name hnkjahshw she’s so cute 🥰🫶 And she uses her phone to learn how to cook her man yummy meals and send him adorable goofy snaps that no doubt bring a huge smile to his face 🥹 I can’t, she’s just so precious 🫶

It’s also really sweet that Ari takes some time to get to know her beloved stuffies because he knows she cares so much for them 🥹

Ari smiles, “Good bunny. Now, why don’t you play with your stuffies instead? Who’s this guy?” He picks up a toy at random, and it happens to be a golden stuffed monkey. “That’s Mr Cheeseburger.” “Okay, well, play with Mr Cheeseburger, honey. While daddy does his work.” Ari settled you down on the floor by his feet before going back to his laptop.

Mr Cheeseburger!!! Bestie you always make the cutest names for your fanfic stuffie cinematic universe!!! This is how I see Mr Cheeseburger - he’s got Ari’s blue eyes 🥹 and his dashing red corduroy overalls with the yellow buttons made me think of tomato and cheese on a cheeseburger heehee 🥰

The imagine of baby bunny playing with her cute stuffie beside Ari’s feet whilst he’s sat on a chair on his laptop doing business … HAWT 🔥!!!

And Lloyd and his kitten!! Lloyd the sociopathic heartless ruthless kidnapper + torturer + murderer the absolute menace of a man has captivated me since the second I laid eyes on him when watching TGM, so to know that here he actually loves his kitten whilst also committing sadistic acts of dominance - I am YEARNING, my pelvis is ACHING 😩 I know Lloyd and his kitty are barely side characters but oh Lloyd as a deliciously cruel owner of a hybrid who he’s in love with aaaahhhhhhh I’m sat here internally screaming and externally weeping 😩🫶

- 💙

Ahhh bestie!!! I’m so happy you liked this sweet self indulgent little drabble with Ari and his baby bunny😌🐰 they’re my fav couple fr bc they’re so cute !!

Yes, Ari always makes excuses for his baby bc she’s so cute and innocent and he low-key doesn’t love punishing her! He has to do it bc sometimes he needs to be strict with her but he lets her get away with a lot!

Omg and bestie this is the perfect face claim for Mr Cheeseburger! It looks like a McDonald’s happy meal with the colours!!! I love it! Bunny loves playing with her stuffies by her daddy’s feet bc he sometimes reaches down and pets her head and sometimes he even joins in and plays with her 😭😭😭

Also omg I think I’m gonna have to write a spin-off about Lloyd and his kitten!

[thedestructionofgrace]

Some thoughts on the teen wolf movie:

Overall I quite liked the movie, I feel a bit embarrassed saying that after seeing what everyone else thinks about it but I can’t help it lol. I’m not gonna lie I do think there’s both a lot pros and cons to it, so here’s my thoughts on it:

To start off I really loved the time jump it just made sense to me and I love seeing how the character’s ages were now closer to the actors ages instead of them still being in their teen years or early twenties. I didn’t know that was going to happen so I was pleasantly surprised by that. Knowing that Scott still worked with animals and deaton was so sweet to me, Lydia being a fucking was boss was just *chefs kiss* The Hale’s having a family business, awesome. Honestly just having a good portion of the characters back on screen was awesome to me lmao, didn’t realise how much I missed teen wolf til I watched it.

The beginning of the movie was pretty awesome, I never thought that they would open it up to Liam in japan, he’s speaking Japanese and serving customers at a restaurant, this indicates that’s he’s been there a while. Hikari had a cool intro alongside Liam, it’s obvious she’s a badass and you get to see small bits of that throughout the movie. this could’ve been a really good opportunity to create a new strong Asian woman/character that people like me (I’m part Asian) could relate to but instead of making her completely different and new, the writer/s took all of Kira’s traits (Kitsune, sword etc.) and dumped it onto hikari, which to me felt really lazy and probably racist which doesn’t surprise me considering how they treated Arden Cho (go watch partner track on Netflix!!). It’s also obvious that there’s a relationship between hikari and Liam which was also left unexplored because after the intro they were both sidelined throughout the rest of the movie which is really annoying. I’m also a shipper of Liam and Theo as I know others are 👀but honestly for whatever reason, even after only having Liam and hikari for like five minutes I do actually think they’re cute together and if we got to see more of that, I would totally watch it.

I love how malia is still the same when it comes to her thoughts and honesty 😂 glad they didn’t change that too much about her. MALIA AND PARRISH!!!?? I never would’ve guessed they be a thing and I’m not mad about them either, I mean they were pretty hot together but I did find it a bit random and unnecessary.

Derek hale has a son and his name is Eli, I think all The Hale family members seem to have really cool names, don’t ask me why I’m focused on that, I just am lol. Seeing derek have a new family considering he lost all of his other loved ones and his pack got killed made me really happy, I think it’s a logical way to grow his character since we’ve already kind of seen him as a brother and mentor type figure to Scott. genuinely thought we’d only ever see him have kids in fanfics but now it’s canon and I can’t believe it. I am surprised at his death, I was scared earlier on when his neck was bleeding so it was even more devastating when he actually did end up dying later. Tyler did a great job playing Derek and I’m really glad the could get him back for the movie. Derek keeping stiles jeep and fixing it up just gave me all the sterek feels. And the fact that Eli grew up on stories of all the characters 😫

Eli Hale is easily one of the top three best things in this movie for me, he’s a perfect addition and the fact he has so much stiles in him just makes me appreciate his character even more. Maybe they wrote him that way on purpose to fill in for stiles/Dylan but that doesn’t bother me either cos I thought he was introduced really well. I love how they kept stiles part of the movie through Eli with his personality and his obsession with stiles jeep whichleads me to the relationship between Noah and Eli which I freaking adored. I honestly wish after dereks death that Noah would be the one to take in Eli instead of Allison and Scott. I think it would have been better for Scott to just be his mentor and alpha and keep that separate from being a father figure which Noah already kind of is (that’s how I see it anyway). Also Allison tried to kill Eli, so unless Eli’s forgiven her it doesn’t really make sense for them to be a family.

Scott to me felt like the character who changed the least out of all of them which is not a bad thing. I said earlier that I love how he stuck with deaton and dogs, you could see throughout the show his passion for it and I love that that hasn’t changed as he’s gotten older. although after seeing him in the whole firefighting situation at the start, I honestly could see him as a firefighter. He’s got super strength and hearing, like he’d be great at it. I’m glad they wrote it so him and malia were already broken up before Allison came back because I don’t think I could watch malias heart get broken by Scott still being in love with Allison. I thought the reunion between Scott and malia was really funny.

Allison is back!!! The shot where she’s walking and the two cars explode in the background was 🔥🔥 She was a pretty good bad guy, especially going after Eli and Derek because she was ruthless about it which reminded me of how Chris argent was at the start of the series when it came to Scott and Derek since he was pretty ruthless with them too. it was so creepy the way the nogitsune used her especially by pretending to be her mom which made me GASP 😮. And it was super heartbreaking that she didn’t have her memories too. When Scott told her he was still in love with her 😍 the looks they gave each other right after he said that, threw me back to the earlier seasons, it was really cute.

JR bourne did such a good job with chris’ reaction regarding Allison being back. He’s had such great character growth throughout the series and he’s just even more badass in the movie. Also when he was swearing 😏🔥 wish we got to see more of him and Melissa, I’m assuming they’re still together since there was a small hug between them after everything was over but it’s not enough for me lol I need more, I loved them in the show. Another person on tumblr (can’t remember their username sorry!!) said they finally got Melissa a weapon!! and I had the exact same thought, she’s awesome.

Peter had the most Peter hale entrance to the movie and I loved it, I still think he’s an asshole tho lol. Also that scene when they were at the cliff and he’s on his hands and knees sniffing at the ground was really funny to me.

They could not have had mason and Liam further away from eachother throughout the entire movie like wtf, not even a little acknowledgement like a hug between them or anything. With mason being a deputy, I thought made sense because he had the brains and the whole problem solving thing similar to stiles so him being a cop and using his researching abilities etc to solve crimes and seeing him work with Parrish and the sheriff was cool to me since they weren’t really characters that interacted in the show… but if we’re being political I’m not sure if it makes sense since he’s young and black and I’m not sure if he’d buy into the whole “if you want to change the system, you have to be part of it” kind of thing, I don’t know if I’m reaching or reading too much into that but let me know what you guys think about it cos I’m not sure 😅

Lydia, oh Lydia. I love you. She’s a powerful woman, she’s got her own office, she’s all fancy, I love it I love it. Having to imagine her having nightmares of stiles being dead is horrible!! Like why couldn’t he just be on a special assignment some where as an fbi agent so he couldn’t be back to help them. Them not being together after everything is really sad and I’m just grateful they didn’t kill him offscreen. Anyway back to Lydia, when she screamed Allison it gave me chills and took me back to the earlier seasons too, glad to see they got a reunion hug between them. I love how she towed Jackson around with her and he still kept his attitude 😂 I laughed when he was talking about Ethan

Adrian harris, when he revealed himself I was genuinely shocked because I totally thought he died in the show so that was a pretty good plot twist to me, and the fact that he got dragged to eichen house!!! Lol you deserve it asshole.

I think the nogitsune was a good choice of villain to bring back, he’s creepy and manipulative and the fact that Scott’s bite managed to give him werewolf powers!!?? I didn’t see that coming at all!! I thought it was really cool like him turning into a werewolf was like the next level of him being a villian. Everytime the oni we’re on screen, the synchronicity between them had me on edge, watching the gang take them down was really cool, when Derek, Scott and Eli lined up to go after the nogitsune I cheered 😁 just seeing them together with all there different eye colours, I just thought it was really freaking cool.

Throughout the movie I was thinking that if they wanted to kill the nogitsune they’d have to kill Allison too since they’re like connected or Allison would sacrifice herself and die again and I’m glad that wasn’t the case. When Allison had to shoot Scott with the arrows I really thought they’d kill him off and Eli would end up being the next generation kind of thing which is sort of what happened only Derek ended up sacrificing himself instead of Scott dying 😫 if I am being honest with you I think I could make peace with Scott dying if it meant Derek being able to raise his son. The shot with Eli at the end really gives me hope for spin-offs in the future which I would definitely watch but I’m not sure others would be inclined to agree with me. I think the movie was kind of choppy and think that if it was made into limited/mini series like somewhere between 4-8 episodes then it would flow a lot better and would be a lot more appealing to most folks, characters would get better screen time between them, we could get flashbacks (I mean there’s a 15year time jump, stuff has happened!), proper funeral for Derek, I don’t know…I think they could’ve made it work for a tv show. Let me know what you guys think about it in the comments 😊

Edit, some extra notes after reading other users posts:

Liam has a beard and he looked real freaking good

I never realised Derek turned back into in alpha 😫 ugh that’s so awesome, I just noticed it in a gifset someone posted!!!!

Has Allison aged the way everyone else has?

Loved when Jackson took over and put together Lydia’s drawing, it makes sense to me that he’s the one to figure it out since they’re still close friends, I bet stiles would be the one to put it together if he’d been there

Feel like it’s inappropriate to think about this since it was a eulogy/funeral scene, but omg everyone looked super hot in their outfits - Chris in a turtleneck, Allison in a suit and skirt, Noah in the black suit, Melissa and Lydia’s dresses, Peters suit was next level of course… just they looked really good ok 😫😍

Eli is a lacrosse player and it reminded me of Scott and stiles when they were first on the team 😊 it was hilarious when coach made Scott get back into the game even tho he’s and adult

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 12x18 The Memory Remains

“This is why I can’t have subtitles. Who is Bongzilla?” “It’s the actual 4th amendment” “Ok. No more subtitles” “Cheers, bud? What are they? Fkn Canadians? I know the answer is yes, but that’s the most Canadian shit I’ve ever heard.” “Except I say cheers, bud a lot, but I’m not Canadian. I talk to a lot of Canadians, though” “Freshly cracked glow stick” “Get fkn wrecked” “Should have stuck around and watched everyone make out all creepy like” “well now you’re fucked” “We know how these episodes go” “Make your voice a mail. M A L E” “I wonder what that mailbag is full of’ “He’s got to clean his table gun” “What about the shower gun? Does he have a gun in the shower?” “It’s a webmail” “Why are you hitting the gun with a screw driver? It doesn’t make sense” “like I know he’s reassembling it, but he just whacks it with a screw driver” “oh get baited” “often lot of hair gel for being on the road” “to be fair with the kid, I’d probably be way more open with the cops if they gave me back my joint too” “a bipedal billy goat or something?” laughter

“Oh yeah let’s get locked into the freezer. Never back yourself into a freezer, especially the locking kind” “Sam’s going to start doing that on purpose to get Dean to eat right” “the hell is this accent? It’s not Wisconsin” “They’re trying to get us to believe that it’s the sheriff, but it’s probably the waitress” “yeah you’re fucked now’ “you’re fucked now” “Also the fans aren’t running” “that was funny. Way too much ketchup though” “a chicken sandwich? Really?” “oh shitty they’re going to trash the place probably” “Is this the lion the witch and the wardrobe or some shit? Are they going to find a mirror under a sheet and walk through the closet?” “somebody’s gun got locked in another room?” laughter “way to be quiet about it” “Can’t they just shut you in down there?” “got me. Fuckers” “cocky. Jesus. Gonna get in trouble” “Don’t even have the hammer back yet. Come on now’ “fkn shoot him. What are you waiting for?” “it was all a ruse. Noooo” “They just attached the deadbolts to the fkn trim; not like it’s that hard to break down” “isn’t it a magic scope? Or do we never learn about that telescope?” “a penis” “I mean, wouldn’t enough people dying on the job like that be bad for business?” “That would never stay very long. There are so many better places to put that. In the lamp. In the chain above the lamp. In the ceiling” “they moved the god into here?” “that was super effective” “Isn’t the guy going to try to kill him?” “that was less than ideal” “easy button” “no time for jokes man” “yeah ii’d take a nap too” “oh yeah, put some meat on it hahaha” “now nothing good is going to happen to them; isn’t that the point of the whole thing?” “no, because you’re always fkn hiding and shit” “they kinda do own the place, so you’re defacing your own shit at this point” “you can’t make fun of a man’s motorcycle without him getting mad” “dude’s going to haunt you now especially since he’s British”

[inkykeiji]

in the time span between the end of touya-nii pt 2 and pt 3, is reader still as mad at touya as she was on the night/morning of the party? before she meets up with tomura do her and touya act like everything is normal?

anon!!!!!!! what a fabulous question!!!

tw: stepcest, toxic relationship

waaah i love this tbh i could write a whole oneshot about the time between the party and her meeting with tomura (it isn’t in the fic because it technically serves no purpose to the story, doesn’t move the plot forward in any way, it would just be fun to explore as supplemental material hehehe) but to answer your question, after she solidifies her plan with tomura (literally the end of part two) she feels a lot calmer. knowing that she’s finally going to do something about this helps her recover her composure, and she’s able to act mostly normal around touya. he can tell something is off, but he assumes it’s from their fight, that she’s still a little bitter about the whole situation and his infidelity, but as long as she’s staying—she’s here, she’s his, under his command and control—he’s able to brush it off and tell himself that she’ll get over it.

the texts annoy him, irritation itching under his skin, but he lets those slide, too, figuring they’re probably nothing, it’s probably just the coke injecting paranoia into his brain, because he couldn’t possibly even conceive the notion of his sweet, precious, good little sister doing something so disrespectful. he’s still feeling pretty confident; i mean, she got over it so quickly, so that must mean he’s still got her in his clutches, and that means he’s got nothing to worry about. we know touya believes the world revolves around him, so that’s how he’s feeling there: nothing bad could ever happen to him, she could never do something so reprehensible to him, etc.

it’s important to note that at this stage in their relationship, touya isn’t as possessive as he is later on (which, of course, is partly due to her cheating). he’s still trying to sort through these emotions, still trying to deny these emotions, still trying to trick himself into believing that they’re nothing special, nothing significant, (and, as we also know, the cheating is the trigger that finally has him coming to terms with it all and beginning to accept it) and this—while small—also plays a role in him kind of missing these tiny little signs that something was up, because he’s so busy trying to stamp out his emotions. that night in particular brings up a lot of unfamiliar feelings in him, too, and he is very busy trying to forget those and forget why her words stung so bad, why her words have seared themselves into the tissues of his brain and keep wiggling and whispering, why his mind seems to think they’re so goddamn important that it has to remember them, etc.

but yeah! that’s what was happening during that time, basically! i’ve said this before, but readers tattered shreds of autonomy only sew themselves back together when it comes to the prospect of her losing touya. this is when she finds her backbone, when she’s willing to go against him and be bad to keep him with her. no one is going to fucking take him from her. so when she formulates a plan to hurt him, to get him back, she almost instantly feels a little better. she can play the role of the good little sister for another week while she waits for her chance to strike <3

[my-strange-attraction]

Man people really do be straw-manning you and then interpreting all of your arguments in the worst faith possible and acting like that makes them So Smart And Correct. I’m sorry you gotta deal with all these bozos with zero reading comprehension or critical thinking skills. Just wanna add because it’s been seriously bothering me and I don’t remember you ever bringing it up: one of the core tenets of the original op’s post that you responded to was basically ‘this identity is bad because I’m a lesbian and those people aren’t lesbians in the exact same way as me so they’re hurting the lesbian community because I don’t want to see them when they don’t share all of my experiences and (gasp!) talk about men and their relationship to men sometimes because *I* don’t want to hear about men’ and I just. Idk man if that’s what his argument boils down to its kind of a shitty argument. Even ignoring all of the terf rhetoric (which you correctly pointed out) I can’t even begin to understand why someone would want to be in a queer community where everyone fits into neat little boxes and everyone with your label experiences their orientation exactly like you. Aren’t they forgetting that the whole point of the queer community is that larger society attempted to put us in boxes we didn’t want to be in and categorize us into labels and lifestyles we didn’t want? Why would someone ever parrot the actions of our oppressors and do that to other queer people, when they know what it feels like? I can’t even fathom being that selfish and closed minded

>your argument is chock full of straight up lies  Love how this was said in response to your rebuttal of an argument that CONTAINED ITS OWN “STRAIGHT UP LIES”!! Like pot meet kettle lol. Specifically referring to that one bit that was like “uwu bi women tried really hard on purpose to distance themselves from the lesbian community” because that is straight up not what happened!! I haven’t said anything yet but it’s been bothering me for a while and that one ask has so much fucking Audacity that I couldn’t stop myself from Pointing It Out this time. Ahistorical bullshit and they’re accusing YOU of lying. The audacity of it all I can’t

Anyway these guys are just mad that bi lesbians get more bitches than they EVER will. I heart bi lesbians I love you bi lesbians I hope y’all stay winning mwah <3

I'm assuming these are all from the same person because of the timing? If not, sorry for not doing separate responses.

Yeah, this whole thing has been pretty frustrating to be honest. In a way it's even worse than actual terfs, because these are people who are philosophically not that different than I am, and if we met in real life we probably wouldn't even know that we disagree. I mean, I do talk sometimes about label anarchy with some of my friends, but we have to be close and you have to get me in a philosophical mood. It's really frustrating to be openly disrespected as a person for one opinion that, though it does happen to be really important to me, doesn't come up in my everyday life (or, likely, theirs either).

The whole pronoun thing really got to me too. I KNOW they were just strawmanning, and I KNOW it wasn't really a valid critique of anything I said, but the suggestion that I would even consider purposely using the wrong pronouns for someone is upsetting. I don't think he even noticed before an anon pointed it out as a way to invalidate my argument. I don't think it upset him (or the anon) as much as the anon said it did. I still apologized though because I'm not going to not apologize for using the wrong pronouns.

Also I know jack shit about history because it doesn't stay in my break but yeah actually I do remember reading about that! That's crazy, I can't believe they called me a liar when they don't know their history. I mean, I don't either, but at least I'm honest about it.

Thanks so much for sending these messages! Not gonna lie, I was going a bit crazy with all this and the only anons I was getting until now have been the hate ones that I've shared and a few hate ones that I just outright deleted. I know people agree with me because I've seen the likes on my posts, but it's nice to have someone defending me as well, so thank you <3

[randomidiocyncrazies]

just saw the newest ep of Gwitch and oh boy it’s a wild ride!

Suletta’s insecurities are extremely relatable to me—the stuff about needing to be useful or else nobody would want you, how she gives up on something she wants because someone else wants it too, and the way she’s trying to convince herself that it’s not a big deal if there’s no lunch for her really tugged at my hearstrings (and like, the few times I did say something in a similar situation, I always feel like everyone else is judging me for ‘overreacting’, and it makes me feel like i’m a petty bitch for claiming my fair portion? idk). luckily my parents are genuinely supportive and aren’t planning to use me in their revenge scheme lol

I’m so pleased Mio and Suletta’s misunderstanding is resolved, and in such a cute way too! ngl i wished Miorine didn’t hit her like that, but over all the reconciliation scene is very heartwarming. i appreciated that Suletta was able to express her feelings, and Miorine is able to tell her clearly that she’s happy to have met Suletta and glad that Suletta is a part of her life... istg i’ll be soo mad if they aren’t reunited by the end of next episode!

Onto other characters: Delling and Prospera’s conversation is really intriguging, because it seems like they’re... collaborating? Delling not having a visible reaction to the “Elnora Sayama” name drop is kinda funny, either because he knows who Elnora is, but doesn’t care/already knows, or because he honestly doesn’t know who tf this Elnora person is—both possibilities are interesting. So I guess the thing is: what is Point Zero? Given that Prospera brings up Aerial reaching Parmet 6, it’s probably something to do with surpassing the limits of raising Parmet scores? Delling is pretty obsessed with the “curse of Gundams”, as well as having been “afraid of witches”.

I also wonder how Shaddiq, Jeturk, and Guel will come out of this coup, if they come out at all—I think it’s very likely that Jeturk Sr. won’t survive, since it’d force Lauda and Guel to take action; at the very least, if it was known that Grasseley was involved, then Lauda, as the de facto successor of Jeturk Heavy Machinery, would have to declare hostilities against the responsible parties (assuming Jeturk’s involvement isn’t leaked and Guel hasn’t resurfaced in public—even if Jeturk Sr.’s involvement is leaked, the companies would still be enemies).

As for Guel, he had already noticed that the terrorists are piloting Jeturk machines—how long before he realizes his father is involved with arming them? What actions will he take, when his controlling father is endangered by these same terrorists? (Like, I really want Guel to become a communist and decide to fuck off from the corporate world, but. who knows what’s gonna happen. Probably form a rivalry with the Earthian Witch who isn’t Sophie, since Sophie is gunning for Suletta as her rival?)

Now, Shaddiq. For all his supposed fondness for Miorine, he’s stone cold with the whole “if luck is with her, she’ll survive” thing. That said, I personally don’t think it’s because of her rejection of him—or at least, I hope it’s not. Given that Shaddiq had apparently been planning to destroy the Benerit Group for a while now, and had recruited followers for that purpose (his girl posse), I don’t think his motivations are decided by a failed relationship. Even in another universe where he did get together with Miorine, I think he’ll still put her in danger if it was useful to his goals.

I’m really interested about his exact relationship with his squad—who are these girls? how did he find them, and why are they loyal to him? while he only trusts himself to deliver the final blow, why does he also seem to trust them with his ambitions?—as well as his motivation in breaking up the Benerit Group, and whether he perceives that to be beneficial to his adoptive father, Grasseley as a group, or both (or neither!)

it’s also interesting that Grasseley and Jeturk will potentially suffer losses (leadership, the public’s trust, etc), so Peil Tech might emerge as the winner of this coup—while the Benerit Group would splinter without Delling’s tyrannical influence, it’s possible that both Grasseley and Jeturk might lose a lot of market value if certain things about the coup come to light.

Nika... i honestly don’t know if she’s gonna get killed off (after all, the leader of the terrorists is apparently her father figure, so that’s another prime opportunity for “parents harming their children”), or if she’ll survive to either move away from their ideology, or to double down on it after tragedy happens. I hope she survives, but I honestly don’t know if the writers will kill her for drama/tragedy next episode.

(as for the Earth House kids other than Nika and Chuchu... i feel like they’ll be wiped out, to underscore the tragedy and seriousness of the entire situation—it’d give Suletta and Chuchu + Nika motivation to fight against whoever was responsible for their deaths too.)

[simplynotcapable]

how do you think Visenya and Baelon would've done if they got incarnated later into the Targaryen dynasty? Kids of Aegon V, or siblings of Aerys II or siblings of Rhaegar or something?

Hi anon!

I think if Baelon and Visenya were born at almost any other time (assuming Baelon was not a firstborn son), they would be largely footnotes on the grander scheme of history. Baelon doesn’t really want the throne or power, he just takes on the responsibility because he feels like it would disrespect his mother’s sacrifice to do otherwise. In a part of history where his father didn’t kill his mother for him, he’s going to care even less.

So as kids of Aegon V:

We’re assuming Baelon is born after Duncan and Jaehaerys, but even if he wasn’t our boy is probably not going to be king. Way more likely he punts it off to his younger brother.

Aegon V was very against incestuous marriages, so Baelon and Visenya would be betrothed to other people. I say that probably lasts right up until they’re 15-16 years old at most because they’re going to run off and get married. I think the difference here between them running off and Jaehaerys and Shaera doing the same thing is that Baelon and Visenya probably aren’t going to go back. Because like…what’s waiting for them there? An angry father, royal duties, responsibilities neither of them have ever really wanted or asked for? They’re going to steal a bunch of shit right before they leave the Keep, get married, and then fuck off to somewhere like Essos. They’ll live their silly little lives being in love and careless and dumb.

It’s likely they’d still be alive during Robert’s Rebellion and even for the events of the series, but I don’t think they’d involve themselves very much. Definitely not in the wars themselves because they wrote themselves out of it on purpose and also they’re old now. They don’t know any of the Targaryens still alive or particularly care about them. They don’t have the same sense of familial loyalty that they do when they’re born during the Dance, and what they did have for their siblings did not transfer over to their brother’s kids and grandkids.

Robert has people watching them undoubtedly, but I don’t think he’d try to have them killed. They’re both old and fled the throne once, there’s no indication they’d want to fight for it now.

They would support Dany’s claim, though, in a very distant “yeah hope she gets it back” kind of way, and they would be very excited at the thought of her bringing back the dragons.

Since we don’t know how the books end yet, I can’t really say for sure beyond that point, except Baelon and Visenya are perfectly happy where they are and aren’t getting involved with anything even if asked.

Siblings of Aerys II:

(We are again assuming Aerys’s younger siblings.)

Baelon and Visenya are going to be married, though we’ll leave it up in the air why Jaehaerys felt strongly enough to argue with his father about it. Maybe the wood witch’s prophecy involved them, too.

Robert’s Rebellion never happens because Baelon’s gonna kill Aerys himself.

One thing that mostly always stays the same about Baelon is that he is very protective of his sisters. Especially Visenya but all of his sisters. Baelon does not let people put their hands on his sisters, full stop, regardless of every other factor of his relationship with them. He doesn’t have a particularly close relationship with Rhaella. They aren’t even friends, really, it’s nothing like our Baelon’s relationship with Rhaenyra. But the second he finds out Aerys is abusing her, he’s a dead man.

Which is a difficult decision, no doubt, because Baelon does care about his brother in his own way, but he has been watching him spiral further and further into madness every year. And now his unhappy marriage has turned into an abusive one, and Visenya tells him that Rhaella cries in the night??

Baelon very cheerfully decides to become a kinslayer, and Visenya is basically like “okay babe be safe love you”

I’m not sure how exactly he’d manage it, being as Aerys was so damned paranoid about everything and everyone, but he’d find a way. Single-handedly saving the Targaryen dynasty by murdering his brother before he can kill Ned Stark’s dad and brother, before Rhaegar takes Lyanna. Rhaegar probably isn’t even married to Elia yet.

Downside, Dany and Viserys won’t exist because their dad is dead well before they’re supposed to be born.

Now, the real question after this is Rhaegar.

Rhaegar was reportedly very uneasy about his father but hoping to just wait him out, since Tywin was handling matters of ruling pretty well, and he didn’t want to have to move against his father. But I don’t think that would be enough to make him be like “yeah okay unc, fair enough, you’re good”, especially since Aerys wouldn’t have yet reached the height of his madness. At the very, very, very least he’d get sent to the wall, but it’s way more likely he’d be executed.

Visenya can’t go to the wall, and they can’t be together if Baelon is dead, so they must likely bolt immediately after he kills Aerys and do not come back. Unlike when they do this as Aegon V’s children, they are never going to be able to just sit still and live. They are going to spend the rest of their lives running, and whether they get caught or not entirely depends on how viciously Rhaegar decides to chase them.

Or at least a good bit of their lives, until the Long Night comes and Rhaegar has bigger problems to worry about because Baelon might have accidentally made it so the prince(ss) who was promised was never born.

(I am a firm believer that it is Dany, but I know that is only a theory so decide on that how you will.)

Rhaegar’s siblings:

This is the one case where I think that Baelon and Visenya would fight for the throne, less because they want it or care but because of the murder of their family.

I think it would be interesting if they and Dany were triplets because of the whole three-headed dragon thing, but it’s more likely they were born between Viserys and Dany.

(If they were closer in age to Rhaegar, Baelon would be on the battlefield with him and Visenya back with Elia at the Keep, so they would both be dead.)

The thing is that Baelon and Viserys are constantly at each other’s throats, because Viserys is a nasty little shit who thinks he’s special. Baelon is younger than him, and, like Aemond, he’s small until he hits puberty and has several gigantic growth spurts. Viserys is older and bigger, so for a long while of their childhood Baelon can’t really do anything when one of them “wakes the dragon” and their brother has a fit.

Once he does suddenly shoot up to significantly bigger than Viserys, the dragon wakes a lot less.

Shocker.

Viserys also initially wants to sell Visenya to the Dothraki, and when Baelon immediately has a knife pointed at him, he tells him if it isn’t Visenya then it will have to be Dany. And Baelon looks at Dany and Visenya, kind of huddled up against each other, and Dany’s thirteen. She’s a baby. His baby sister, and he loves her so much, he does.

He loves Visenya more.

He never really forgives himself for it.

He spends most of his time very drunk for a while after Dany is married, or lurking near Visenya because he’s very suspicious of the khalasar. Fights with Viserys a lot more.

Has to shove his head into a bucket of water and scream when he finds out his little sister, tiny and small and so fucking young, is pregnant. Visenya holds him, but sometimes he catches her looking at Dany with this guilt on her face.

And they both know they would be dead already, if they’d let Visenya be the one, because they couldn’t stay apart and Drogo would have caught them together, but it doesn’t make it easier.

When Viserys is killed, Dany turns to look at him. With her big eyes and her soft face, and she’s looking at him like she expects him to do something, and Baelon isn’t even thinking when he kneels.

Visenya only looks at him for a moment before she kneels too.

(“You are the elders,” Dany said, uncertainly, later that night.

“And you,” said Baelon, “are khaleesi.”)

They are, admittedly, not that upset when Drogo dies. Delighted, a little, in fact, though they hurt to see Dany hurt. She does not see the atrocities that they see when they think of her marriage, because she is young and thinks she knows love.

Baelon has never heard his sisters scream the way that they do when the baby dies.

He has never screamed the way he screams when Dany walks into the pyre.

(He has never wept the way he weeps when she walks back out.)

There are three Targaryens for three dragons, and, wherever Dany goes, it’s with Baelon on her right and Visenya on her left. It’s love, for the most part, and it’s guilt for what they allowed to happen to her, but it is loyalty as only dragons can show it.

Three dragons conquered Westeros once, and three dragons do the same all over again.

I hope this kind of answers what you were asking for?? It was fun to think about :)

[carmenized-onions]

Carved In. | Secondary Invoice

logline; Carmen begins to realize, that before you were Tony to him, you were a lot of other things, to a lot of people.

[!!!] series history, this is the eighth; First, Second, Third, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Seventh

Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin’ added to. Link was broken last week, spoofy fixed it, we ball.

portion; 4.6k

possible allergies; uhhhh, carmy pov this time, so a bit of a warped and screwed perception of self and the people around him, yknow. Some Italian shit is said, I do not fucking speak Italian, I cross-referenced to the best of my abilities if I fucked up, my BAD.

pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader

i really like this one, feel like i'm reentering the groove now. hopefully you do too, and if you do, you better pop an essay in my inbox mf

It has been three weeks since Carmen met you in a freezer.

Six days since you were at his apartment. Ish.

Roughly forty-three weeks since the worst day of his life. Doesn’t feel like it.

There are five days, until the third or fourth worst day of Carmen Anthony Berzatto’s life.

But today is Monday, and he doesn’t know what’s coming yet. Though, he feels it, in the air, like static thrumming before lightning inevitably strikes him. But he doesn’t know what it is, where it’s coming from, or how to stop it.

He doesn’t need to, right now, because he’s very comfortable with you in his arms. So why are you ruining it right now—

“I gotta take this, Carm—” He’s holding you down. “If it’s an emergency they’ll call back.” And will continue to do so.

“Baby, they’ve called like four times.”

“These aren’t your business hours.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t have business hours. That’s kind of my whole thing.” He knows that. He knows that better than anyone that you’re on call. But, on-call for him. Selfish, he knows. And also, not correct, you’re a business. He doesn’t super care, right now, though.

You manage to wiggle your arm just that extra inch to grab your ringing phone off the bedside table. He’s grumbling as you pick up the call, face in the crook of your neck.

“Chicago’s Kindest, fixers and co— How can I help ya?”

It’s nice, to see another new side of you, the business side, despite the fact that he didn’t really want to see it, right now. It’s so early. It’s six thirty, you’re supposed to be doing puzzles with him and then forcing him to go back to bed. This is wildly unfair. The man speaking to you with the thick and panicked Italian accent over the phone is doing this on purpose, to spite him specifically, Carmen knows this for a fact.

“Oh fuck, yeah that’s not good. You’re okay though, right? Like no one hurt?”

He hopes they’re okay. If only so it’s one less thing for you to take care of, for whoever this is. He wonders if this guy called saying his sister was giving birth, if you’d rush over, first thing. You probably would, you’re you. That’s what you do. He shouldn’t think like this, but for some reason, this phone call is making him feel wildly un-special.

“Mhm. Well, that’s good, at least.” You nod, a pensive look on your face. Carmen stares at you, not that far from your face, you break character to stick your tongue out at him. Adorable. In the literal sense. Nothing short of adored.

“Yeah, I can come take a look at it, I have a feeling what it might be. Not a hazard, don’t worry.” No… This is a nightmare, this is his personal hell… Tell your dad to come out of retirement this one time, please. Arthritis is probably fake anyways, his hands seize during prep all the time and it’s fine—

You hang up, putting your phone down somewhere on the pillow, it will inevitably get lost into the ether despite being right next to you. You look down to Carmen, who’s laying half on top of you. He is… Displeased, certainly. His hold does not ease up.

“Diner’s flat-top broke.”

“And?”

“They specialize in breakfast.”

“And?”

You laugh, throwing your head back. “You would be so mad if your fixer delayed your whole breakfast rush just so she could spend a few more moments with the hot guy in her bed.”

He’s honoured, that you’d be willing to give him the adjective hot. “I would be so mad if my fixer had a hot guy in her bed.”

This flusters you, immediately, so you just push his face away with the palm of your hand, forcing him away. He kisses the palm of your hand upon contact. Too sweet.

“Shut up, you’ll come with me, I’ll get you breakfast there.” This is more a punishment than the gift you think it is. If someone other than him needs to be the one to make you breakfast, then at least let it be one of his cooks doing so.

“Them and what stove?”

How many versions of your work uniform do you have? Navy cargo pants, again, and a navy sweater this time. Perfectly fitted, Chicago’s Kindest logo embroidered into the top left, bright white, nearly glittering. A large flannel tied around your waist with all the same patches from your jumpsuit on it. Also all the same oil stains, virtually. It was your dad’s version of the patch shtick, you explain. Most of your jackets seem to be from your dad. Plus Carmen’s. Of which you don over your sweater in the Chicago winter weather. He’s trying to not look as happy as he is about this.

According to the overview you gave him in the car, this is your second favourite place in the area. Second favourite diner, to The Beef. Now that it’s The Bear, this place might take first place in your list of favourite trashy food spots. La Mattina Dopo. The Morning After. Carm wants to make a joke about this, but debates whether or not that’d be creepy for so long that the moment passes.

Carmen’s shocked he hasn’t been here before, it’s extremely up his alley. Literally. It’s like, two blocks down his alley.

There’s a big light up sign for Italian ice, and a burly older Italian man, up front, waiting for you. Carmen stands behind you, holding your tools, because he refused to let you. He’s a gentleman, alright? His mom didn’t teach him much, but he got that part down pat.

This fellow restaurant owner practically shrieks in relief, upon just seeing you. Groaning, “Oh, grazie a Dio, cazzo...” It’s clear this isn’t your first job here. And now that Carm’s seen the logo of the diner, on their obnoxious neon sign, he can match it to one of the patches on your flannel.

The man’s hands dwarves your hand, when he shakes it, hugging your hand with both of his. He’s deeply thankful that you’re just here, before you’ve even fixed anything.

You were right, Carmen thinks, you always are, but you’re especially right right now. Getting fucked by broken equipment is a nightmare, getting fucked during a rush? And it’s fucking rush hour breakfast? Fuck breakfast.

Carm can imagine, and also see in real time, how much ease you bring to every space you ever enter, with your stupid little logo on your stupid twenty-million pairs of clothes with it. God, you’re perfect.

“Sit, sit, sit, sit!” You’re grabbing your bags from Carmen as soon as you step inside the greasy spoon. You trade your tools from his arms with his jacket from yours. Shooing him off as you rush to the back of house. “I’ll be so quick. You won’t even miss me.” Not possible.

Carmen picks the farthest back booth in the corner, by the window. These leather seats are the least worn in, the sun comes in but not so much that it’s blinding, it’s objectively the best booth. He fiddles with his fingers, tracing his own tattoos. The place is relatively empty, since they’ve got a sign on their window saying ‘Griddle’s Fucked, BRB’. Classy.

He watches you through the serving hatch, working in the back. Good grief, you are so pretty when you work. It’s disrespectful, he needs to see you as the working woman you are, but it’s kind of impossible. You make it impossible. The golden hour of sunrise is hitting you just right. God, why do you have to be here and not at home right now?

“Can I get you a cup, Jack?” Jack? You’re Tony. Well, not really. But you’re Tony. Who’s this guy think he is, calling you nicknames Carm’s never had the honour of hearing, that you’ve probably had years before knowing him?

God, Tony is a new name for you. That’s weird. That’s so weird. It's one of many.

“At least some ice, c’mon, it’s boilin’ here.” It’s true. Sweater was a bad call. But it’s so cute.

“Ah, I’m good f’now, but ‘tuh—” You nod to Carmen through the window, grinning when you catch him staring. He’s finally honoured rather than nervous about this. “—Can you get Boss a coffee? He takes it…” You lean through the hatch, calling to him. “Uh, Carmy, how do you take it? Black?”

He takes it how you make it, lavender and maple syrup. Black coffee, no milk, but foam on top. Dried lavender, lined down the middle of the foam as garnish. It’s the best coffee he’s ever had in his life. Better than any bodega he ever stopped at in New York, better than anything anyone handed off to him at the French Laundry, better than Luca. That’s how he takes it.

“Black, yeah.”

He can’t tell if he likes when you call him boss. He thinks he does. That might be problematic. He's too distracted by the thought to notice you flinching when you realize where he's sitting.

You nod, smiling big, then turn back to the owner. What’s this guy’s name, even? “Black, for ‘em. Big fuckin’ thing of black cherry for him too, we’ll split it.”

How’d you know he likes black cherry? Lucky guess? Is it just your favourite, coincidentally? Probably.

The man claps your back, “Anythin’ for you, cara.” He calls out your order— Or is it Carmen’s order? —To a nearby bus boy.

If this man wasn’t old enough to be your father, and is clearly just acting like a father figure, Carmen would probably maybe a little a lot be freaking out. But you’re fine, so he’s fine. You duck down where Carmen can’t see you, presumably to the ‘Fucked Griddle’.

“So, what I was thinking it might be is—” Carmen has to strain his ears to hear you from this distance as you stop projecting your voice for him, but he manages just fine. “So— Basically, the fire wasn’t the problem, it was the sprinklers. They flooded the inside wiring here, which, they’re insulated so that’s fine but—”

Is this what he sounds like when he explains a dish to you? The mechanics of things was never really his forte. If it works, it works, and you make something with it. And hey, even if he was stuck, he has you to know for him, now. You know the wiring, the plumbing, the everything. Carmen has no fucking idea what you’re talking about, but he likes that you’re talking.

“Yeah, so see here?” And you’re willing to teach? Aye, Marone... “That’s what’s fucked, your thermocouple. It’s like, essentially a temp sensor. Makes sure shit’s cold when it needs to be cold and hot when it needs to be hot. If it’s broken, whole thing won’t turn on.”

“And is broken?” Says the man squatting down next to you. Carmen can’t see you nodding, rubbing your hand over your face, tiredly. “It’s broken.”

“You fix?”

“I would. Or I will, but—” You stand up, ah, like the sun, you have once more risen for Carmen to see through the hatch. “It’s like, the one fuckin’ part I don’t keep stocked up on. I’ll have to call in an order, I know a guy, I uh…” You kiss your teeth. “I can probably get this done by like, Wednesday, at earliest?”

The man next to you groans painfully, Carmen can feel it, in his bones. Flat top broken for two fucking days? And it was because of a fire? Or no— Not a fire— The fucking sprinklers? He’s getting punished for safety? Surely there is no Just God. But the man nor Carmen can be mad, looking at your guilt-ridden face. Most repairmen would be lying through their teeth, right now, but both men can tell, this really is the one part you don’t keep stock of, and you really do have connections— You’ve got your phone out, and you’re texting a million different people asking for help. They’re all just not nearly as giving as you are. It is impossible to be mad at someone trying to help this hard.

The bus boy finally comes up to Carmen’s booth, “Black coffee and black cherry for the man.” The way he says the man, is like, the verbal form of wiggling eyebrows. Your man, is what he means by that. Carmen likes that idea. Your man. The one you brought to tag along with you on a job. He’s your man, to these people, at least.

“Thanks.” He nods, the bus boy smiles and walks off. The black cherry Italian ice is big, as you requested. Definitely dished out in a bowl meant for a two-person sundae, two spoons already in it, for his convenience. He doesn’t dare touch it without you. He takes a sip of his coffee.

It’s fine. It’s just fine. Well, maybe it’s great. It could quite frankly be the best cup of joe in the entirety of Chicago and Carmen wouldn’t give a fuck. You didn’t make it. Therefore, it’s just fine. He’d take your hot chocolate with the shitty pre-packaged mix over the best cup of coffee, any day.

More notably, to Carm, is when he puts the cup back down on the saucer, he notices it for the first time. Your name. Shoddily carved into the table. He seems to have inadvertently stumbled upon a relic of you. Was your name carved in at The Beef’s old tables? Has he gotten rid of you, before, without realizing?

You rush back to Carmen, after sorting some things out with the Head. You speak hastily as you speed towards him, tucking your phone in your pocket. “I’m gonna be right back, doll, I just gotta give ‘em my hot plate, thank God I was lazy and left it in my trunk all week.”

Getting called doll is a decent salve to the fact that—“Oh, you just give that out to everyone?” He’s joking, but he’s not. Un-special.

It’s selfish, but he wishes that extra 10% you give out unabashedly was reserved for him. You roll your eyes, messing with his hair, and give him a kiss on the top of his head. This is an acceptable answer, but once again, you go above and beyond.

“They need something to tithe them over ‘til one of their line cooks gets back with a rented out flat-top. And I said I’d get you fuckin’ breakfast, didn’t I? They need to cook it somehow.” You grin, he has no come back for this, you’re perfect. “They make good fuckin’ smash burgers, here. With the perfect over medium egg. You’re gonna love it.”

“…M'sure I will.” He’d do it better. He could do it so much better.

…

Why did every thought in his head just get so tantrically sexual, Jesus Christ. La Mattina Di, more like. Relax!

“This you?” Carmen coughs, quickly. He doesn’t need to have cover, you’re not a psychic— Probably— and yet he still feels flush about it. He points to your name, carved into the table. You blink, looking at it. You swallow and nod. He cannot tell which emotion comes first, joyful nostalgia or trepidation. But he knows they both come.

“My name,” You nod. “But not my handiwork… Mikey did it.” Oh.

“Oh.” He doesn’t know how to react, and to you, that comes off as just simply unreadable.

“Yeah,” You nod, smile returning, though it’s sheepish. Hesitant. You pat his shoulder, already half-stepping away from him. “It’s a funny story, I’ll tell you about it in a sec, just gonna get that hot plate, Bear.”

You walk off, quickly, heading out to your car parked on the side of the street. He could watch you through the window, instead, he opts to stare at the carving his brother did.

Forgive the man, he’s a bit dense when it comes to these things, or maybe he just has selective hearing— But. Whenever you had talked about Mikey, he took it in the way everyone talked about Mikey. Everyone was friends with Mikey. That’s just how he made people feel. Everyone loved him, he made any person in the room feel like the light of his fucking life; it’s a talent you have in common, with the dead man.

So, it really hadn’t occurred to him, until this very moment, staring at the shaky lettering, that not only was Michael Berzatto your best friend, you were his, too. He let you in. Mikey’s name isn’t carved in here, he didn’t do a fuckin’ ‘Besties’ or both your names in a heart— And for some reason, that makes this feel worse. Mikey didn’t do this as a show of affection or to make you feel like the center of his universe, he carved your name in this table because he wanted to. And that is more tender than any fucking ‘BFF’ tag could be. For his brother, at least.

Carmen can’t tell who he’s jealous of, right now. It’s definitely both, but he’s not sure which one is the more predominant. On one hand, he didn’t get to be friends with his brother the way you did, apparently. You got to know a side of his brother that he simply will never get to know, at least not first hand. And that’s fucking gutting. But it’s also in no way your fault.

On the other hand, Mikey got to know you. Got to watch you quit being a paramedic, maybe console you about it, even. Got to drink your cups, before Carmen did— Hell, you probably tested recipes on him. Carmen knows their coffee machine is fucked, you absolutely had a shit ton of practice with it in order to make anything brilliant let alone edible.

Mikey got to have you, got to go to diners with you, carve names in booths with you, neg you for not smoking with him, probably give you his jacket on cold nights, come in for late night fixes— For years before Carmen got to even meet you. And you knew Mikey, when’d you say? Two? Three years ago? Give or take? After that Christmas, probably. After he went to New York. After he and Mikey just… Fully stopped talking. You said it yourself, you knew Mikey when he wasn’t letting people know him.

Carmen is so new to your life, but his life isn’t new to you at all. You’ve been in his universe, forever. You’ve been friends with Syd since you were kids, on the same block. You’ve been friends with The Beef before he was. You know Uncle Jimmy. Fuck, you were even friends with fucking Richie, during his worst era. And actually, matter of fact, who cares about Jack— What the fuck does Chippy mean?

The first time Carm heard it was while Sugar was in fucking labour, he didn’t have time to ask. Why’s Richie got a personalized nickname for you? Of all people? Why do these aspects make him feel nauseous? They shouldn’t. They really shouldn’t. It’s a blessing, it’s like, probably what it feels like for people with normal families, when your girlfriend gets along with your parents.

But it doesn’t feel good, right now. It feels hollow. Like he missed out, on getting to experience so much with you. With his brother. With The Beef. He should’ve been here. He wants the old nicknames, he wants the claimed booth, he wants the permanence. He wants to be your man. He wants to have been your man. If he had been, for the past three years, you would probably be talking about moving in together, by now.

Okay, now he needs to pivot back to carnal thoughts because this is so much crazier. Objectively, you would make a good roommate, though, and that should probably be said—

You’re back. You’ve handed off the dual burner to the kitchen, put your orders in, and you’re back, sliding into the booth with him. You’ve already grabbed your spoon from the bowl. 

“I ordered for you; that okay?” You ask before unceremoniously shoving the spoon full of black cherry Italian ice in your mouth. Carmen nods, picking up his own spoon. He misses the fact that you usually share utensils, since you’re always trying something. But he’ll survive.

“Black cherry’s my go-to.” He mumbles, sorbet in his mouth. When’s the last time he’s had a food he considers a favourite? It’s always new, not nostalgia.

“I know.”

“You know?” Carmen squints. Your nonchalant expression changes, realizing that he’s not in this memory.

“Ah. Mikey.” You lean back in your booth, realizing. You nod to the bowl. “Uh, black cherry is also my favourite. And uhm, he’d— I’d order it, and he’d go ‘Aye, that’s Carmy’s’,” You do your best impression, you and Carmen cannot help but chuckle. “And I’d go sure man, and he’d do that a solid— Every fucking time I ordered black cherry.”

You laugh, it’s practically an inside joke for you, only you, at this point. Carmen’s stuck wondering how many things you just inherently know about him. Is that why you’re so good with him? Or are you just like that? It’s probably both. It’s definitely both.

“So, just hard to forget, out of repetition at this point.”

But also, Mikey paid attention to that stuff? Retained it? Told people, about him? About his favourites?

Carmy smiles, “Y’know any other favourites, of mine?”

You think on it for a second, taking another spoonful of ice, eyes looking up to nowhere. “You’d never be so pretentious to ask someone their brand, but you smoke Red 100s.”

So good. You’re so good. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

You grin, overjoyed to be right, so good— You knock on the top of your head. “Like a steel trap, this memory.”

The silence collects between you two, comfortably. And then, Carmen taps his knuckles on your name on the table. You jump, not flinching, just remembering, ironic. “Oh! Right!”

You trace the letters with your free hand, eating sorbet with the other. “So, Mikey and I typically eat—Ate, here a lot, practically own this booth, and I’d made some joke about claiming it as ours, making like, a plaque to put above it. And he said we don’t need no fancy-shmancy plaque; we can just mark it.”

You grab one of the butter knives from the caddy on the table. “He picked up one of these, as a joke, initially, but then I said that there’s no way you can carve into wood with a fuckin’ butter knife— And this, of course, incensed him— Practically a double dog dare, to him.”

You’re good at daring people without daring people. Or at least, Berzatto men.

“And so, he was like, oh yeah? And proceeded to carve my name in—Painstakingly slowly, obviously, in—” You do air quotes, “‘My honour and shame’, for being so wrong.”

Carmen smiles, slightly, because that seems like probably the appropriate reaction to have. He takes a long time swallowing the black cherry ice, so he doesn’t have to speak. Is he bothered, by this story? He thinks he’s bothered, by this story. He’s jealous of both of you. He’s infinitely jealous of both of you, and insult to injury, you and Mikey are so… Similar.

Sugar said it best. The air. The temperature. You control it, you make it so easy for him to be bold, be wanting, and express that. Like Mikey did, though, not in the same way, obviously. Mikey did it through pissing him off. But— You both make it possible for him to feel like he’s above water.

The similarity between you—Carmen imagines in these few brief seconds before it’s his turn to talk again— must’ve brought you closer together. Closer than Carmen could be, to you, ever. He’s too sharp, jagged, compared to Mikey. He will never be able to fill the gap where his brother was.

Hold on.

Is he just filling a gap, for you?

It’s his turn to talk. “Fuckin’ sounds like ‘em. Didn’t do his own name, though?”

You shake your head, thank God, you didn’t see this play out on his face, “It was objectively hard to carve with a butter knife, he was determined to get me down and after that it really didn’t matter. We would’ve been there all fuckin’ day.”

The bus boy soon arrives with your orders. Smash burger with cheese and a fried egg for Carmy, B-E-C on sourdough for you— “Your usual, Jack.”

“What’s with Jack?” Carm asks, once the waiter walks off.

“Oh, it’s like, classic nickname for me— M’Dad calls me Jack, work calls me Jack, it’s cause of, uh, Jack of All Trades, master of none— All that. It’s corny, but it stuck.”

“But I like Tony,” You add, shrugging, “It’s a cute change.”

Carm nods to the owner in the back, that he still doesn’t know the name of. “What's boss' name, by the way?” You laugh suddenly, shaking your head.

“You're gonna laugh.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Know why?”

Carmen tilts his head, a genuine smile crawling up his face. You speak at once.

“His name’s Tony.” “His name’s Tony?”

You nod emphatically, giggling. God, you make things fun. You make 8 am breakfast fun. He could seriously make a better smash burger, though, you need to be taught better standards. You also need to be taught NYT Connections as you do it for the first time over breakfast together. You’re kind of getting better. Carmy does have to give you hints, but he prefers it that way, prefers to be needed by you for a change. The idea of being a seat warmer completely leaves his mind, for now.

The meal is comped, despite both of your reservations about it. You assure Tony that you’ll be back on Wednesday to fix his flat-top first thing that morning. Everyone knows you mean that.

Carmen could more than easily walk to The Bear, but you drive him so you can squeeze in that little extra time together before you’ve gotta do… Tasks or whatever it is you do. Very important things, he imagines. Please don’t have a shift at Eden’s tonight, he’ll explode.

When you park in the back, his head is between wanting to kiss you and wanting to leave as soon as possible in fear of saying the wrong thing or learning the wrong thing. You come to his rescue without realizing; you kiss his cheek.

“Have a good day at work, call me if you need anythin’, and if you don’t, still call me. Please.”

“You can come in, for a bit— f’you want.” Carve your name into your favourite booth, maybe. Well, you shouldn't, The Bear is supposed to be classy, but maybe on the underside? Only you and him would know it's there.

You turn from Carm to look at the back of The Bear. You seem… Uneasy? Trepidatious? You’re not scared, he doesn’t think, but he’s also never seen you scared, he thinks, so he’s not sure he’d know what that looks like.

“I’m uh, I’m okay, I got some stuff I need to get done but ‘tuh—” You thrum your fingers against the steering wheel, hesitating, biting your lip. Clearly there’s something you want, Carmy just has no earthly idea what it could be. Name it. Name anything. He’ll give you anything.

“Can you— Can you, uh— tell Richie I said hi?”

Richie? Fucking Richie? Not Syd? Fuck, he’d even take Tina, here. Richie? You want him to say hi for you to Richie?

“Yeah, yeah I can do that—Uhm—” Carmen puts his pointer finger over his mouth, he’ll let this go, for now, but there’s another sticking point that he can’t. He opens the door with one hand, but turns his body to face you. He points at you. “Can you uhm— Like, uh— Next time—”

No, it’s not on you actually, he decides. You look confused, when Carm waves it off, “Uh, Nevermind.”

“What’s up, Carm?” You're cute when you're worried.

“Nothin’, nothin’s up. I— Hm.”

He curls his hand in the air into a fist, he leans forward in his seat, and takes a soft hold of your chin, quick kiss before immediately rushing out of the car, words just as hurried. He does not want to give you a minute to question it.

“I’ll call you after work, cara mia.”

It's hard to imagine a Chicago accent saying Cara Mia but I did feel like it was appropriate to say so--

If it wasn't clear, because most things I say aren't, he didn't love another Italian Restaurant Owner calling you Cara. But also, it's not like he can tell you to tell people to stop saying Cara. That's weird. And also not on you. But he can claim it for himself.

Uhhhh anything of note to say on this one, hmm. OH RIGHT. Yeah that was fuckin' crazy with the whole Mikey spiral eh? It's fun writing Carm's perspective, because he's always just going insane. Me core.

Sewing the seeds of a terrible Friday hahahahahahhahahahahaha

And he finally questioned Chippy! Not out loud but at least internally-- And what's up with you feeling weird and wanting to say hi to Richie??? What are YOU up to??!?!?!?!

Breakfast was cute though. Always is. Is it too late to rename this series the breakfast club? I am joking. Please do not start calling this series the breakfast club.

Anyways, as always, please leave me a gigantic essay of thoughts somewhere I can read them and have a wondaful rest of ya day baby. Have no clue when the next chapter will come out your guess is as good as mine motherfucker.

Next Part

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

The Nina Project. Nina makes me think of Fullmetal Alchemist (both original and Brotherhood) which makes me sad, but also I had a friend with a cat named Nina. Although that cat is probably also dead. Either way, RIP Nina and let’s get started with episode 5.

1.) Yeah, I knew that dude wouldn’t last long enough to tell them how to find Nina. Also, my deepest apologies to Argyle. I think you’re gonna get fired for this. People are super not supposed to die in the back of your delivery van.

2.) I straight up forgot that the other fed was still alive to be threatened.

3.) Okay we’re going back 12 hours. Hey wait, guys. Lmao. I know it’s kind of generic but I find the secret base entrance 1.) hilariously obvious. 2.) looks like the entrance to the underground home in Sims 4 thanks to Strangerville. I can’t remember which came first and I don’t care enough to check. I’m gonna pretend Sims did it first because that’s funnier.

4.) “You built all This?” El, Owens hired people to build all this.

5.) “You’re bigger than Madonna to them.” Eh, fuck Madonna.

6.) Oh, Nina’s a fuckin’ metal thing. And there’s Brenner. BUDDY, THAT’S NOT FEAR. THAT’S ANGER AND HATE. Oh my god I hate Brenner.

7.) Brenner better die, I swear to god.

8.) Actually, Owens can die too since they’re drugging her and recreating a scene from episode 1. But also why was Owens stupid enough to actually reveal Brenner? I hope that shit has a purpose, because otherwise he’s a moron.

9.) “He is not yours to kill.” Okay who is Hopper’s to kill? I guess we’ll find out after they finish dragging him past ominous double doors. Oh nvm, I just remembered the end of season three.

10.) Hey, Hopper. I know you’re mad, but like, Antonov or whatever his name is, is telling the truth. Or at least I think he is. He had no reason to actually want to put himself in danger like that. He does not benefit from being a prisoner.

11.) Oh that dweeb is still getting up into the air.

12.) “I have 3 kids.” Aw. Joyce counted El. <3

13.) Hi, Eddie. You need to be more subtle, my baby boy. I get why he wants a six pack though. And why Max bounced for breakfast.

14.) Ted Wheeler, I hope you die and leave your family a ton of money.

15.) Max is not good at art, but they’re fun. Also can we talk about how everyone is talking super openly around Holly and Ted?

16.) Nancy draws super straight lines. That’s not important, but nice job.

17.) Was cutting El’s hair actually necessary? Joyce should buy her some fun wigs. Like a few different colors. For funsies.

18.) No offense, but I don’t understand people who would fuck Henry Creel. He’s not attractive before his transformation and after his transformation his design is boring and goofy. Like he’s not a fuckable monster.

19.) Truly don’t understand Owens and Brenner working together. Like not to be a fucking dumbass but it seems outside his personality.

20.) THEY ARE NOT BURYING THAT BODY DEEP ENOUGH. Actually, Argyle is losing his mind so probably not a good time to bring this up. Also, people who write Argyle as chill in the face of danger are fucking HILARIOUS to me now. Like how did that get started?

21.) Hey, Netflix. Why are you starting the ‘tender emotional music’ on Will/Mike over them burying a body in the desert? Like I know this conversation warrants it, but maybe cue up the music like 5 seconds later.

22.) Argyle is super not understanding hiding a body. But GOD, it only happened so Mike could notice the pen. But couldn’t the group just talk about how all the dude did was hand over a pen???????

23.) “I can make you rich.” Can you, bud? Oh nvm, you’re lying about Hopper being rich. But also it was a terrible plan even if Hopper had helped. The guard would have demanded money and Hopper doesn’t fucking have it.

24.) Hopper is giving backstory but is also using his tragic backstory (which is tragic) to try to pretend he’s too dangerous to be near. Hopper, ‘everyone I love, I hurt’ is the depression talking. And the PTSD. You are not the curse. Except for in season 3. You were the curse then because you were deeply annoying.

25.) Damn, one backstory and guy I refuse to call Enzo is giving up.

26.) People came to talk to Wayne and see the burgeoning crack in his ceiling. I am glad Wayne is being moved.

27.) This funeral for Chrissy was fast.

28.) Hey how the fuck does that rando know who Eddie’s supplier is and that two old men thought they saw Rick in his house this goddamn morning????????????

29.) Aw damn, why’d you have to break that fucking stained glass. It was nice.

30.) Well, we got a shot of the walkie talkie as the bag was dropped on the floor so that probably is a hint.

31.) Steve has such a bitchy sigh. I love it.

32.) Hell yeah, Joyce. But also lmao Jeremiah the 16 year old fighter is very fast. Yuri < Jeremiah.

33.) “Never mind how” means the show does not want to actually come up with a rationale for how they can suddenly force El to go back to any memory, let alone this specific one.

34.) I understand they needed to use CGI for younger El, but they actually didn’t do a great job in some of those shots.

35.) Oh, they wanna get Susie to figure it out.

36.) Damn, Eddie, you are firmly just bored now. Oh well, not bored anymore. A bunch of douches in tailored suits are here to murder you. Also, bud, did you not close and lock all the doors?????? Why the fuck would he leave it open and unlocked? Also WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ‘IT’S HIM’? IT’S A STONER’S HOUSE. IT’S LITERALLY THE STONER’S FOOD!!!

37.) Yeah, they couldn’t hear the radio.

38.) Dustin is being a douche and did not answer Steve’s very reasonable question. And also I would also freak out from spiders. ROBIN THT’S SO MEAN.

39.) Second Platonic with a capital P. Still no sign of the word soulmate and I’m starting to wonder if it’s purely fanon.

40.) Steve Harrington is a himbo and I love him.

41.) Lucas is so cute. And Max and Lucas are the only cute het couple amongst the kids.

42.) So far there’s no actual explanation from the show of how there are so many kids with powers. We know how El got hers, but Kali was kidnapped as a child and presumably didn’t get her powers the same way. And I don’t think the rest of these kids were made the same way El was either.

43.) Owens, are you actually surprised Brenner is putting El’s life in danger?

44.) a;lkdsjfaskdjf;all Murray oh my god. You should have just hit Yuri. You’re a black belt in karate, not intimidating.

45.) oh damn plane going down. And Joyce shooting a gun in the cockpit did not help.

46.) Okay Murray is terrible at intimidating but he did get to knock a dude out. Unfortunately.

47.) Murray oh my fucking god. That’s a nat 1 on operating a plane, bud.

48.) I just realized I think they’re doing Digital lighting for these effects of following the lights in the Creel house and BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Rubbish. Swine. BOOOOOOOOO.

49.) This is fully breaking and entering from the boys. But also damn that’s a bad boat and damn piece of shit carver is a good swimmer. And is unhinged.

50.) Yeah, we fucking get it. Vecna is in the upside down attic.

51.) Damn, that death is still goofy as hell.RIP Patrick, your death was hilarious.

52.) I don’t think it’s actually possible to be up and at ‘em that soon after needing to be resuscitated. Even if you do have superpowers.

53.) I hate Brenner so much. El HAS A DAD. IT’S HOPPER.