#but also medicine related laws are pretty different here i think

[hoofpeet]

Saw your tags on the ibuprofen post and i'm seriously baffled, in the uk youre not legally allowed to buy more than 2 packets at once (a packet has 16 tablets) so when I needed to stock up i'd have to go into 3 or 4 shops in a row but you can just.. Get a big bottle?? WISH that were me

That's funny as hell actually .. no here you only have to buy ibuprofen like every 2 or 3 years

[macgyvermedical]

What’s your most controversial hospital opinion?

Hoo boy.

I'd have to say it's a tie.

First, I'd say that the medicalization of nursing practice was a mistake.

See, medicine and nursing are two different sciences. Medicine treats disease (for example, asthma). Nursing treats reaction to disease (for example, the difficulty breathing related to asthma).

While an RN (Registered Nurse) is technically an independent license (as in, we are able to do our own assessments, create and implement our own care plans without direct oversight or orders), we still can't prescribe. Now that's fine- I'm definitely not saying an RN should have prescriptive privilege.

Because we can't prescribe, though, we need someone with prescriptive privilege to order things like pain medication, nausea medication, bronchodilators, and other things that drugs might do better than available nursing-based alternatives.

The problem is that hospitals tend to require orders from a doctor for things that should be entirely under a nurse's purview. Things like q2hr turns for pressure injury prevention, fall prevention interventions, patient education, and other things that by law don't require a doctor's order, and for which doctors are not well trained. This tends to end with a subpar set of orders related to the nursing care of that patient, and nurses don't really have the freedom to override these orders (or the time to educate our medical counterparts on nursing care to get those orders changed).

Now, there are nurses who can prescribe- Nurse Practitioners (NP or DNP, depending on their highest degree).

So if I ran the nursing world, I would de-medicalize nursing care. There would be a nurse practitioner on each floor whose job it was to manage pain, nausea, discomfort, urinary retention, wound care, constipation, and other things that are reactions to disease that require drugs or other orders to manage. This would free up doctors to focus on things they were trained for, and allow nurses to do what they were trained for, and, hopefully, result in better outcomes for the patient.

Second, and this one probably is more controversial, I think the trend towards single-occupancy rooms in hospitals was a mistake.

Not, of course, because I feel like privacy shouldn't be a thing or that single rooms are too cushy, I just genuinely think the care would be better in a ward-style setup.

Here's the thing. When a patient is in a room alone, we can't see them and they can't see us. They don't know if we're actively taking care of someone else, and we have to go all the way into a room (and all the customer service that goes into going into a room) just to check if a catheter bag needs emptied or if SCD pumps are on, or if one of our many confused patients is trying to get out of bed.

This tends to result in situations where patients feel like they've been forgotten or aren't getting the best care we can give them. It also results in things like food or needed medications being left in patient rooms for a long time because we didn't see it dropped off, and patients who go hours without an SCD pump being on because we might only see them once every 2 hours (instead of a quick check every time we're on the way to another patient).

And finally, while this sounds ridiculous, the size of the hospital floors that are needed to house single-occupancy rooms are a drain on time when time is at an absolute premium.

See, picture you're doing a 12-hour shift and you have 6 patients. That's 2 hours of care per patient spread over 12 hours. That's not direct care, either. Order needs changed or clarified? That's 10 minutes gone. Charting? That's another 45 minutes. Pretty soon you get down to less than an hour to give meds, do all necessary assessments, treatments, clean ups, education, etc... Spread over 12 hours. That amounts to about 20 minutes in a patient room spread over every 4-hour period. Say it takes 30 seconds to get from one room to another. Say it takes more than a minute to walk from the med machine to the room. That time all adds up, and eats into those 20 precious minutes.

Versus if I could have all 6 of those patients laying in beds right in front of me, maybe with walls between them and the option of a curtain facing the hall for privacy, I could provide considerably more nursing care with the same amount of time.

[the-firebird69]

Te Compro Tú Novia! 🔥

So looking at his face and we see that you're fighting smog using a ship and that's really cheating he cares about it doesn't know why smog is continuously attacking knows about the shipping things and is looking at it and motioning and it's not working so could you see him doing that we do see him doing that and he leaves it looks a little bit like these creatures from Britain and it's different almost like he's possessed and he could be and he he does leave the scene I left there with his ship and these kind of Sandy assholes who are using the condescending losers who are using the ship to beat on the people in the monster and it's Sarah and her people and she's oblivious as usual and they have a fighty poo and we think they cream each other is a s*** there too that's puny and they're trying to scan with this tiny ship they're not really the way it's kind of a distraction but kind of says what people are doing and he thinks the ocean shoreline drops it's pretty far out there but it's not far enough to not drop and if it drops there it's going to drop miles and apparently it drops he thinks maybe three or so miles maybe four we agreed and you can't tell so we went ahead and looked at it and said whatever that is if we wake it up we could be in a lot of trouble and the empire is going to be pushed to do stuff if it's real and these guys are pointing it out and don't appear to know what it is and it's true and it says you hear this weird noise when Angelina Jolie and whoever that is is stuck on the beach and we know what it is it looks like that giant is alive. And they're simply horrified

We are a spellbound by the magnitude of what's going on just absolutely amazed and I'm very surprised to find out that those things might be massive and you're massive they are too big we've never seen anything that big it just does not get that big and we said it today those things are too big I don't understand why they're so big and we have to think of what to do because they're so damn big and is laughing because it looks like these people and they'd be his race and maybe this is a nephews who are way too big he knows about it and he knows he's related but he can't grow a fraction of an inch at all and people put all that Prilosec it's just an overdose he says and hopefully it's going to clear and we think it will and we think it sucks as you didn't and the diet but mostly it's the duration of how long that medicine is good for and we calculate about the same and he's going to start growing oddly enough for the assholes lunch the Giants and he's worried too and so are we we're like giants and these people are all puny very small teeny and don't understand it so we're going to have to clamor and hope for Max to get here who planned all this no that's what they expected though. And he says your two childish and they start blabbing and he says you're deaf but we hear what we're thinking and saying oddly enough they are very obtuse and extremely rude and it sounds like nitrogenarcosis and other things and Ken starts a business has his son-in-law help him send out balloons and the car from Ronald beiruti would fit it's like a clown car and fits a lot of balloons. Okay it's ridiculous but these people are sick I tested a few and they're loaded with nitrogen their system is blocked up and stopped up with it and they're sick and they're dying they come up top side and their body seizes and a lot of them just fall over dead and from the bends. And the max are crazy just like it says in the song daddy is crazy and they mean all of them and she's singing it to Dave and a little to our friend here and our friends kind of gets it because his wife is having her scene it's a beautiful song but it is a nightmare for so many people you would not believe it and it's kind of a nightmare for him so these masks are nuts and we have to sit here listening to their nuts who are also insane but they're not as bad which is so awkward and awful and hard to control and we're in a lot of trouble so who the hell knows why they go out there and sit in the hand it's kind of funny so now I get it and you know you don't want these s*** heads showing up and what looks like some sort of ice cream sandwich ship and he's saying it's Tommy f as an analogy and his people are coming and he was the one with the hand and it might not be stars and stuff but still feeling big this is no it's just the way the gas looks and stuff from an angle it's on purpose it's not a creature and people have to check they say and that's what you know force majeure is all about

But good grief if that creature is real it's gigantic and it looks like it's kind of frozen or something petrified and Frozen sort of and it kind of happens but it's not very far below the ground but as it goes several miles can be very cold and the rest of it's cold and it's surrounded by metal and it made sense we're off to have a good time okay this is not right these things are not supposed to be here yet I don't know what the hell's going on I've seen some of these shapes and in Bavaria the Matterhorn okay this is really weird s*** and he said you have made me ruin the planet the train escape and it's not even working it cuz it's so evil and it's true this is disgusting but he's right people are not in the right minds most of the time and when they are they're still idiots and really the the rules are not rules and it's not working just separating out and we turn into way worse than primates I can't stand it but you people don't know what you're dealing with and you don't want to employ anybody you want to go look for this stinky little ship and you probably can't even scan one of those golden whatever mountains it's time to admit that we have a severe problem

Preston bill

That was well played and played this is terrible and he is a humongous deity with his people and we are not and these people are a lot less than that and they're in his face all day long and he's a young person too and he acts fairly old but they keep getting to him occasionally and he says I don't need you here and the idiot doesn't do anything different and makes it worse and you should have seen him today he was running around like a monkey he's back here he's not listening or obeying and they said what do you want to do sit in the house all damn day with near you and you don't stay there anyways you come out here to annoy him and to annoy Us and boy that kind of fruitcake I tell you what he said it's not really planned for him to be the most evil and these guys down there are pushing him too much and over the top because of what they heard he did and I tell you what they don't even know and now it's a lunch and they're on nitrogen are closest and our son and our friend here agrees they've got too much in there they just really sick and they're ruining tons of stuff like life on Earth in a separate and it gives you euphoria and they're too insane and they're left alone and it's not right they need to they need helium and they need to get on it now and right now they should be in suits and stuff I don't know why they're all completely knocked out and it should be in their houses and facilities they're saying it is but sometimes it doesn't work meaning that the helium stops and they know why they're having problems infiltration and people are doing it on purpose and they're trying to blame people are smart enough to know better no people don't know better it's a horrible drug it's going to be the end of us and it's truth soon so it's truth serum and this method is terrible it's ruining people you either get out of this so many things are dangerous and he's been saying this way over the top I don't know what to do is wait too many people here are sick and can't move I mean this is ridiculous it's like the Congo movie it's true too and these people are going to go look at it for us and why the hell would you sit in the hands you freaking numb skulls so it really does not help it the ship is so small it's just going to get incinerated if they try to scan and expose them I mean what I'm wasted f****** time and it wasn't doing it so weird fighting swan over and over and it's like forced to do it I don't want to go over this again and again but these people are too dumb to be here all of them we have to do this and they're going to attack tonight I want people in a meeting they're so this is so awful and Timmy Doyle you don't need to come anymore you're fired and I told you you're fired and your bunkers are almost gone and yeah. We don't know where the fireworks going to go firebird and not fireworks dinner damn it not dinner s***

Mac

Olympus permission to print is granted after Daniel's comment

We are checking some stuff out these people are acting so rude and mean they don't know anything and they know about these things and they've been looking at them and studying and trying to correlate scans and I'll tell you what they're doing it scientifically and saying what if it's this what if it's that and what if it's the projected image from something small and on and on okay we don't want to hear from them again and they let secrets out like madness and talk out loud on the air in restaurants and pubs and they are so vulgar they are the rudest people on Earth and they're so stupid these people hear them miles away and I'm getting to this they're going to try and attack again and they don't have anything that they can do for the most part it would be effective and they're going to ruin everything and nobody can stop them in our friend is not doing it it's easily it's on their own and that's been proven millions of times he's stuck in there and has had more patience than I've ever seen anyone have any strong enough to whoop any of them he looks around and says it's way too many and you're like zombies and it's horrifying cuz it really is foreigners come in and they're absolutely completely completely surprised including minority Norwalk look at the attitude on these idiots I don't control and they're addicted. It's either going to attack at 3:00 a.m. and we're getting ready

Daniel

After while our son tried to be quiet and they won't let him they're a bunch of pigs and we need to stop them too they're coming here to attack at 3:00 a.m. they say and attack who and what who knows but there's a flotilla they're coming from Alabama and Georgia and huge forces are amassing and those two states they have probably 0.45% of their own population it's still the same as the general population it's still a very big number and in the flotilla it's a 0.5%, these are serious serious numbers they're going to be obliterated and they're going to react and we have to be ready and we have to mobilize now and get ready to wipe out tons of them before they can do anything this will bring their number down probably 2% and probably three quarters of that is John remillard and he is at 4.3%. it's trickling away but this will make you go fast so the 2.3%, and after the attempt they're going to try and storm the bunkers regardless and he'll probably drop another percent after that he's going to be gone in a few days or less regardless and it's because he took stuff from everyone and they want it back and we hear that he gets out loud from Florida and his people meaning anyone of his clan and clones included of course. And it's going to start up soon we think maybe even tomorrow and the empire is going to help to try and trigger them that's why they've been useless. And she is going to get kicked out in the whole bunch of idiots with him including Garth and he just not want to really come back believe it or not no these idiots are addicted so they go off to other other things but it's Sunday tomorrow huge numbers are lost and on Monday they begin to flee Florida and Hera says it and she knows about it we know it too we're getting the reports we're also having Intel that says that they're going to leave right now they're at 22% and about 5% are planning on leaving before the attack that's pretty big and it might grow so we're going to publish

Thor Freya

Olympus

[onigiriico]

hi! i saw your milgram pv translation thread and i wanted to ask a few unrelated questions about japanese if that’s okay!! i was just curious how long you’ve known japanese for. did you learn it? if so how long did it take to reach fluency? or was it your native language? i was curious because i want to start learning japanese and use it to fulfill my foreign language requirements when i go to uni. do you have any tips for a beginner who wants to learn japanese?

Ohh this is gonna be a long one, I hope you don't mind 😂

I started to dabble in it back in 2014/15, but I only got more serious about learning it around 2019 I think? I taught myself the basic grammar and the hiragana/katakana from a textbook at first and then used Duolingo later on. The majority of my vocabulary is actually stuff I've picked up while consuming JP media, though - a lot of it from different kinds of anime/manga, drama CDs, interviews, some variety shows etc. That's mainly a personal studying preference though - I have the easiest time learning languages while I'm actively doing things with them, whereas a lot of people seem to prefer going by textbooks from what I've heard. Different methods work for different people!

(The textbook I used is a German publication so I doubt it'll be much use to you, but it's this one if you're interested 🙇‍♂️)

I do have to admit that I'm not actually really fluent in the language - I understand a decent amount (especially when listening, since that's where I've got the most practice) and I can make basic conversation, but I'm far from native speaker level 😂

I've never studied Japanese as anything more than a hobby so I can't really speak on using it to fulfill requirements for uni, but I do believe that it's a relatively easy language to learn (in comparison to other languages I've studied)? In terms of grammar at least. We don't talk about kanji lmao

As for tips,, the most important things are to keep at it and have fun! Finding a studying method that works for you + maybe even finding a way to connect studying the language to your other interests can really help keep your motivation up in my experience. (Also don't feel discouraged when progress is slow, it is a completely different language from English after all!)

I'm wishing you all the best on your Japanese learning journey, anon! Good luck!

(I'm putting a list of some of my favorite Fun Ways™ of learning new vocabulary and stuff under the cut in case you want some input / ideas btw 👉👈 I'm not sure how useful these are when you're a complete beginner but maybe it'll be useful)

slice of life / highschool anime are a really nice way of picking up new words in passing since they tend to not dive into complicated / very specific vocabulary (e.g. there's no talks about law / medicine / etc etc) and the characters usually don't speak in specific dialects - I'm especially thinking of Miira no Kaikata and Gakuen Babysitters here, but I'm sure there's more

(the same goes for anime specifically geared towards children, but I don't have any recommendations there 🙇‍♂️)

once you know hiragana, renshuu's J-crosswords app is a fun way of practicing them and expanding your vocabulary!

when it comes to kanji, I've found it helpful to just jump right into it and try to read manga in Japanese. a lot of manga include furigana (i.e. the pronunciation of the kanji written next to them in hiragana), so if you know hiragana, you'll eventually start picking up recurring kanji as well 👌 you'll definitely be best off with digital publications for this though, especially if you don't have excellent eyesight. the furigana in manga volumes are small fdjhsgdjfd

listening to native speakers (especially in actual conversation & not acted like in anime) is always very helpful as well! I'm personally pretty interested in the seiyuu industry so I tend to go for anime-related radios or shows like Seiyuu Yoasobi for this, but it works just as well with Japanese (or bilingual!) Youtubers etc - this is also a matter of finding things that with your interests honestly

and, last but not least, following some native speakers on social media! you probably won't understand much initially without the good ol' translate button but I personally still always feel a little sense of achievement whenever I can actually read a tweet on my own 😂

[crescentmoonrider]

If this unreliable self can become someone... - Part 2 (Annotated Edition)

"I'll teach you," Toji-san had said, and Yuuta was thankful for it. "I'll teach you," Yuuta wants to say in turn. There's no way he can ever show how truly grateful he is, but the least he can do is try. [Edo AU]

read on AO3

read on FFn

Once again I bring y’all commentary on my own writing, because I am unstoppable. As promised, there are plants and samurai in there ! And swords, although that’s more for the fic itself.

“The weather here is warmer than back home […]”

My personal headcanon is that Yuuta comes from Aomori, the northernmost region of Honshu (Japan’s main island). The reasoning actually comes from Rika’s backstory, with her dad taking her hiking in the mountains and then them getting lost in a blizzard… I don’t know, I just think it makes sense for them to be from a very cold, snowy region.

Anyway in this story he doesn’t come from Aomori itself, but rather from a small mountain village in what will become the Aomori prefecture. The kind of small village that doesn’t even have a name, because it’s the only one in the valley and the closest other settlement is on the other side of a mountain in another valley and you only see the people from there maybe once of twice a year when the weather allows it.

Fun unrelated fact, but in Switzerland some mountainous valleys in Graubünden were so isolated that they developed different dialects. So now we have multiple versions of Rumantsch, which has like 40k speakers in total.

Yomogi (ヨモギ)

A species of mugwort also known as Artemisia Princeps, or Japanese mugwort. Its leaves are used in cooking to make kusamochi, but the juice is also used in traditional medicine as a way to prevent bleeding or to lower fevers.

Antiseptic

I kept this one vague, because while I do know that in the European Middle Ages, wild leek and related plants would be used as medicinal plants to prevent infections, I am not sure if that was the case in Japan. Probably was, since those are pretty common plants and that’s usually the basis for that kind of use, but I have no certainty and I don’t want to say anything stupid.

I do know that leeks are supposed to cure colds according to Japanese folk medicine, so that’s something at least. If you have a cold, tie a leek around your neck and you’ll be fine in no time ! (probably)

The paste for the bruises

Once again, my knowledge betrays me. I do have the titles of references I could turn to, but unfortunately they’re in Japanese, and my reading abilities stop at comics. Not even sure I could even get my hands on them if I could read them, anyway.

What I can tell you about folk medicine though, is that in the Alps (and generally northern Europe) we use Arnica Montana grinded up to a paste for bruises and insect bites, although its effects haven’t been proven scientifically. It’s still a very popular remedy in any case, and if anything putting something cold on bruises helps with the pain, whether it has actual medical properties or not.

How do you even stop being a samurai ?

Technically, there are a few options. If your daimyou dies and you find yourself without a Lord to serve, or if you just get kicked out of his service, you’ll become a rônin. Same if you run away for some reason. That’s not exactly a good thing, but it’s nothing that can stop you from finding a normal job and just living life as a commoner (like lots of actual samurai were also forced to at the time), or from finding another Lord who will take you into his service.

Of course, the Zen’in hate Toji’s guts, so they instead had him declared officially dead. Which is immensely more permanent. It also means Toji lost all privileges given to the samurai caste, such as the right to bear sharp weapons (like swords). Not that it’s going to stop him, since there’s not much of a law enforcement on the road.

It’s also worth noting that the Zen’in are, safe for a few ghostly details, a pretty traditional samurai clan – serving a daimyou, probably participating in poetry contests and the like from time to time… During the Edo era, the number of samurai capable of keeping this way of living got much lower, due to the long-lasting peace, with most of them having to turn to commerce or to governmental offices like the machikata to make a living. So for the Zen’in to be able to remain the same way as they used to before the Edo era… it speaks to their wealth and political power.

Laundry

You can actually make soap with wood ashes, although normally you should let it rest for way longer than in this story. Apparently pines make the best ashes for that purpose ?

If you can, please use a softer support than rocks when doing the actual washing though. Wood works good, and risks damaging the textile way less.

Quarter-hour

Hours in Edo-era Japan were worth roughly two of ours. So Toji has actually been scolding Yuuta for 30 minutes, or what feels like it at the very least. Press F for our boy ú.ù

Sun (寸)

An old unit of length used in Japan before the Meiji era (although it’s still used currently for some trades, like carpentry). It’s equivalent to the Chinese cun, and measures about 3cm (or 1.2in).

And we’re done ! This time was much shorter, but I guess that’s to be expected when the characters are mostly isolated from civilization. Next time though, we’ll be back in town babey !!

[snowlily95]

Aerith in light of healthcare provider

So, I've wanted to write an analysis about Aerith in light of her medical viewpoint for quite a long time but only recently got the chance to complete it. It is well known in the game that Aerith is the healer of the story. She possesses a great MP with a limit break to heal and buff people which greatly affects your gameplay. Of course, you can equip others with Healing and Prayer materias to render them useful for healing as well. But story-wise, no one can take away Aerith's status as the healer. We know in canon that Aerith provided herbs to the Sector 5 slums doctor to create medicine. And if you finished the Corneo Stash side quest in Chapter 14, you can return to the church and see a couple of elderly sitting on the pew praying. And when you come closer to them you'll hear them talking about how they didn't see Aerith around and they're sure she's alright and probably be around healing people. You know, since the Sector 7 plate just fell. (Even though Aerith is not alright actually coz she was kidnapped by Shinra by this time) Point is, we are fed by the NPCs on how much Aerith had helped around as a healer. She had been doing this for years.

While being in denial about who she actually is, being a healer had always been implanted in her. She is used to it. When you're used to being a healer, there's a certain level when you have a different reaction compared to others. The way you think is different. Apart from that, she's also a Cetra. And we knew for a fact Cetra had a certain affinity towards souls who are returning to the Planet. Meaning, as much as she is used to healing others, she's also used to sensing death.

My whole point is that being a Cardiac Anaesthesiologist and Intensivist as I am, I can totally relate my position with Aerith, as we both have constantly helped people and encounter death on daily basis. While I'm pretty confident that the majority of these might be coincidences (because I'm pretty sure there are no doctors in the SE team), I thought the coincidences are pretty cool to ponder upon and I'm amazed at how the subtle differences between Aerith's reaction to events from other characters.

I'm gonna ignore the meta part of Aerith, mainly because I'm not discussing how much Aerith knew, and if there was anything in jeopardy of what she knew whatsoever. So we're gonna focus on the fact that she is used to healing and feeling people's death. People who are used to death on daily basis had a certain unique view on life and death. And that affects how we act upon facing them too. While this is evident throughout Remake, I'm gonna focus on the plate drop event to be more concise. I will also use Tifa as a comparison to make it easier to see the difference between the reaction of the two. Let’s start!

1) Aerith is quick in emergency situations.

When you are used to people dying, you developed a certain immunity and you are able to have a sound mind and composure at the sudden change of event. As healthcare providers, we face stable situations turning into critical real fast. And we have a switch in our minds that turns us from standby mode to rescue mode. This is exactly what happened to Aerith when Don Corneo revealed Shinra's plan to blow up Sector 7's support pillar. Tifa is part of Sector 7. It is her home. Which is why her reaction showed how she was super devastated, she slowly stood up and muttered "They wouldn't..." because she couldn't believe it. Aerith? She had that switch in her mind, and she immediately turned and say "Come on, guys! We gotta go!". She switched into that critical mode in a second. It helps that she's also not personally connected to Sector 7, and thus her judgment was not as impaired. Of course, they both switched into the critical mode in the sewer, but it was at the moment of revelation that made it different. Just like how healthcare providers switched at the moment of revelation that their patients are at the brink of death—you immediately jumped into rescue mode.

2) She plans for the worst.

Remember after they defeated Abzu and Tifa started to question Corneo's information? She didn't want to believe it, because it didn't make sense to destroy your years of efforts building the plate just to get back to a small group like AVALANCHE. Think about the money they put in to build it, they're gonna have to put them all again. In fact, along their way out of the sewer, Tifa voiced out multiple times how this had been bothering her. But I'm intrigued with Aerith's reply "If he's telling the truth, then we should go. And if it turns out he was lying, then so what?". This here is exactly what doctors do. We plan and prepare for the worst. And if the worst didn't happen, then so what? If you ever had life-saving surgery, your doctors would tell you "You need this surgery coz you might die. But if you do the surgery, there's a high chance you'll survive, but there's a small chance you'll die too". And we prepare for that small chance that our patients die. No, we don't let our preparations lacking because we hope they'll survive. We prepare for the worst outcome possible and get all the equipment ready in case they'll die. If they didn't, then so what? It doesn't mean our preparations were futile efforts. It only means we were prepared. And that line of Aerith seriously hits home to me.

3) She hopes for the best.

Before they crossed the water sewer, Tifa once again voiced out how she couldn't stop thinking about what Corneo said, and she was still hoping that he was lying. And then Aerith said, "The future isn't set in stone". (Again, I'm gonna ignore the meta part of Aerith) And then she proceeded to set up that small date with Tifa. Believe it or not, this is actually what we do during bad calls. We'd talk about what we would do after all this ends; we'd go out dining, or playing games/darts, or go drinking, or whatever it is that makes us happy. Just to keep our minds calm and to allow us to hope for the future, even if it's just a few hours away. It gives us hope and courage to go on. We plan for the worst, but we hope for the best. The more critical the situation is, the more you need to be level-headed. And needless to say, after this point onwards, Tifa is much more calmed down from her struggle to keep herself focus.

4) She follows orders.

This might sound weird to some, but the ability to cast away your worry and focus on what you can do, instead of what you should do, is important in emergency situations. You need to know what you don't know. You don't get in the way of your comrades. If you're not good at intubating, you don't insist to intubate in emergency situations just because you wanna help. Seriously, you'll just make things worse. When Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith were attacked before climbing up and out of the sewer, Cloud asked both Tifa and Aerith to keep going. Aerith immediately answers "Okay" and left—without a single but. This is significant because it shows that Aerith knew she'd be better off leaving. She doesn't need to offer help, coz her help was not needed. This is not the place where she could help. The ability to recognize this is very important for healthcare professionals. Tifa was a bit more reluctant to leave, but that's probably because she is a martial artist in-game. Also, the fact that Aerith could still joke "We're not delicious" is just so real lol! Yup, we joke sometimes when we're facing deaths—doesn't mean we lose focus in saving the dying person in front of us, don't worry. And then it happens again when they reached Sector 7 when Cloud asked them to stay with Wedge as he goes up, Aerith immediately answered "sure"—because she can "patch" Wedge up, it's where her abilities lie. This is even more accentuated when an injured Wedge argued that he can still fight when he clearly can't—making this point even more obvious. Aerith is someone with a healthcare mind, Wedge was not.

5) She supports her comrades emotionally even when she’s worried too.

When they reached the surface, they spotted a Shinra helicopter. Cloud assured them they're only on patrol. Aerith turned to Tifa and said, "Don't worry, we'll make it in time". This moment is also very iconic to me. As I mentioned, I'm an anaesthesiologist. We are the support doctors to surgeons and physicians. Those moments when we're operating on AAA surgeries and the patient is losing liters of blood and literally dying, we're pumping bloods in with our hands and get those Level 1 machines operating, and the surgeons would be panicking because it keeps bleeding? Yep, I did say it before. "We'll make it. Just concentrate on the surgery and don't worry about the bleeding", even though I'm sweating and dying here trying to keep the patient alive. But I pretended to be calm in front of my team and cheered them on. Because the whole team needs to keep calm. If one of the team loses hope, then bid your chance farewell. As an anaesthesiologist, we're almost like the anchor in the room. People look at us to know if everything's alright. I need to tell them it's alright, so they need not worry. Aerith knew Tifa is worried. And she tried to keep Tifa calm with reassurance. Even if she probably freaked out herself.

6) She doesn’t discriminate.

After they defeated the ghost at the haunted maintenance facility, Cloud tried to kill it, and Aerith didn't let him. When Cloud said that thing was dangerous, Aerith said she knows and added "but even so..." she didn't feel right about killing it. (Let's ignore the fact that the Ghoul was a lonely creature for now) It then goes to drop the train wreck which almost killed them had it not been for Cloud. Now this would have been avoided had Aerith let Cloud killed it—maybe. But here's the thing. When you're hyper-aware that people are dying left and right, you value life more. No one deserves to die, even the worst criminal in the world. You're a law-abiding citizen? You're a criminal? It doesn't make a difference to us. I know this is something super hard to comprehend. But technically only when the law subjects the criminal to the death sentence that a person should be left to die. I've been a doctor for eleven years, I was a prison doctor for two. I had the first-hand experience of dealing with criminals. It's not my job to determine whether they deserve to die or not. It's not my call whether they will turn a new leaf had they lived. I know this is something others find difficult to relate to and agree with—happens to my non-medical family and friends. The verdict to us is simple. It's a life. It's worth saving. Period. (Technically the ghosts are dead though but my point still stands)

7) She tries to her best abilities and lets go of what is out of her control.

Tifa's emotions are tampered with again when they confirmed Shinra was going to drop the plate when they overheard the Turks conversation. Her voice shook, we can literally hear it. Aerith's response was "all we can do now is keep moving". And she's right. When they reached Sector 7 and the Whispers were preventing them, she said "we have to get past whatever it takes". And later on, Tifa left to help Cloud and Barret, and Aerith agreed to get to Seventh Heaven to ensure Marlene's safety. Wedge had a short mental breakdown when he realized he was no good to anyone up or down the crime scene. And Aerith told him "We can still save a lot of lives", "That's no excuse to give up", "I need to know I did everything I could". Her encouragement helped Wedge save more people. Some argued, did she not care about the lives that already died? Now here's my point; no, we don't. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but really. What can we do for people who are already dead? Nothing. What can we do for people who are still alive? Everything. And this is the core of being a healthcare provider—we prioritize. Yes, we're also humans. We can get emotional when our own friends and relatives die. (Aerith might not be as calm had it happened at Sector 5) But when we put the healthcare provider cap on, we mean business. That is why when disasters happened, and we triage people with a black tag? That's when we know we couldn't do anything for them. We don't mourn at the black tags. We move on to the other tags instead. So that we know we already did everything in our power to help. And yes, it doesn't matter even if we lost more lives than we saved. It's worth it, even if we only saved one person out of thousands of deaths. Just like how Aerith saved Betty in Sector 7. That one life is worth it.

[unrestedjade]

Baseless Ferengi headcanons no one asked for and that get increasingly queer-navel-gazing and self indulgent because the horrible space goblins have consumed my brain:

- Mobile ears, because if hearing is so well developed and important to them they should be able to aim those big stupid radar dishes. Also because then they can emote with them and that's cute. THE AESTHETIC IS PARAMOUNT.

- Since they canonically sharpen their teeth with chew sticks and sharpeners, their teeth must grow continuously. So I submit: subcultures that let certain teeth grow out as a fashion/political statement. Ferengi punks and anarchists with 5" tusks. Ferengi with all their teeth filed flat (mom and dad HATE it).

- Corollary to the above, most of their teeth are crooked. At the least, they don't share our fetish for straight teeth. What if their teeth are deciduous, and there's no point in trying to force them into perfect alignment, since they'll just fall out and get replaced? So like, sharks but their teeth can also grow longer with no limit. WHAT HAST EVOLUTION WROUGHT ON FERENGINAR :V

- Parents nagging their kids to sharpen their teeth "or they'll grow up into your brain and you'll die :)"

- Personal space? Don't know her.

Okay I need a cut because there's too many now. WHOLE SOCIETY OF GAY HOMOPHOBIC UNCLES AND AUNTS GO I HAVE A PROBLEM

- I can't remember who on here put forth the idea of them having retractable claws but Yes. :3

- Pushing back against the worst canon episode a bit but: relative ear size being the only obvious sexually dimorphic trait, and even that having enough of a gray area that the only way to be 100% sure you're talking to a male or female Ferengi is if you do a blood test. Unless they're intersex! *shrug emoji*

- This is why they're so fanatical about gender conformity and their Victorian "separate spheres" attitude to men and women's roles. Capitalist patriarchy is fragile! And as artificial to Ferengi as it ever was to Humans! (self-indulgenceeeee about gender shiiiiit)

- You know how with domesticated rabbits, the rabbit getting groomed and paid attention to is the boss? Yeah. Go ahead and paint your bestie's nails, just don't be surprised if she cops a little bit of an attitude with you from then on.

- Their fight/flight/freeze/fawn instincts skew heavily toward the last three, and what a lot of other species read as annoying sucking up is the Ferengi in question feeling anxious and unsafe. Especially if they don't feel integrated into the group. Even being at the bottom of the pecking order is better than not being in the flock at all.

- If they DO opt for fight, it's ugly and typically their last resort. Bites or scratches will get infected without intervention-- microbes that their immune system can handle could cause big trouble for aliens. You might wanna check for full or partial teeth that break off and get lodged in the wound, too.

- Too many of these are tooth related but I don't care. :B More teeth stuff: you know what else has teeth that grow constantly? Puffer fish. Likewise, Ferengi can chew up mollusk shells as easy as potato chips, and they need the minerals for their teeth. (Imagine grandpa Sisko offering Nog a crayfish for the first time and watching as he just...pops the whole damn thing in his mouth and crunches away...)

- Their staple foods seem to be grubs and other arthropods, high in protein and fat. I've unilaterally decided their cuisine also involves a lot of edible fungi, ferns, plant shoots and seeds. Gotta get those vitamins. Overall flavor profile leaning toward umami, vegetal, and fresh herbs, and pretty mild (or "delicate" if you wanna be snooty about it, which a Ferengi probably would let's be real).

- Not much sugary food. I'm basing this solely on Quark's aversion to root beer as "cloying". Which could definitely just be his personal preference, but most of the people I hear hating on root beer cite the actual sassafras/sarsaparilla flavor (saying it tastes like medicine) not the sweetness. Nog might be the weirdo outlier for being able to enjoy it.

- Their home planet isn't bright and sunny, so their eyes are better at discerning shades of gray in low light conditions, with relatively weak color vision. Which could explain why they dress Like That.

- Conversely, human music has a reputation for stinking on ice because a lot of it is juuuuust lightly dissonant or out of tune because we can't pick up flaws that small. Ferengi can, and it drives them up the *wall*.

- Music? So many different kinds. Traditionally, maybe lots of percussion and winds, and water as a common component of many instruments to alter pitch or tone. Polyphony out the ass. Some of the modern stuff is an impenetrable wall of sound if you're not a species with a lot of brain real estate devoted to processing sounds. Pick out one melody to follow at a time.

- Yes, back to teeth again I'm sorry. It's a sickness. At some point in their history, pre-chewing food was just something you did for your baby or great grandma as a matter of necessity. Possibly your baby gets an important boost to their immune system and gut biome from your spit. At some point takes on a more formal intimacy aspect and gradually drifted from something all adults and older kids do to something only women do. Your husband and older kids have perfectly functional teeth, but you love them, right? =_= (Think old memes about husbands being useless in the kitchen if little wifey isn't there to cook, but even more ridiculous. Ishka was right about everything but especially this. Thank you for making your family chew their own food, Ishka. Not all heroes wear capes. Or anything!)

- How did they get started on the whole men: clothed vs women: unclothed nonsense? My equally stupid idea: men just get cold easier. Those huge ears dissipate a ton of body heat. Cue Ferengi cliches like "jeez, we could be standing on the surface of the sun and my husband would put on another layer." At some point, again, this got codified and pushed to ridiculous extremes in the name of controlling women and keeping everyone in their assigned box, to the point that women just have to shiver if they really are too cold and men have to pass out from heat stroke if the alternative is going shirtless, because That Would Be Inappropriate.

- Marriages default to five years, but they're also the only avenue for women to have their own household or any stability. Plus their religion places no emphasis on purity save for pure adherence to the free market and the RoA. So, curveball to the rest of their patriarchal bullshit: female virginity isn't a concern in the least. Bring it up and they'll rightly side-eye you.

- Family law is absolutely bonkers and lawyers that specialize in it make BANK. I feel like custody would default to the father usually but oh wait, the maternal grandfather has a legal stake in this, too, and your next father-in-law is asking HOW many kids are you dragging into my daughter's house, etc etc. Growing up with a full sibling is way rarer than growing up with half or stepsiblings, since it usually takes both men and women two or three tries to find someone they vibe with. (Not love, unless you're super cringe.)

- A misogynistic society is a homophobic society. Imo those flavors of shittiness just come in pairs. Homosexual behaviors are fine within certain parameters (aka "always have sex with the boss") but not on your own terms. To add spice, bisexuality is their most common mode (because I'm bi and these are my hcs for my fics I'm not writing, so there), but capitalism demands fresh grist for the mill so you better get het-married and pop out some kids you lowly peons. You have a choice so make the proper one. :)

- Corollary to the above, that doesn't keep all kinds of illicit "we're just friends with quid-pro-quo benefits for realsies" affairs of every stripe and every gender from going on everywhere. Many Ferengi have a lightbulb moment somewhere in early adulthood when they figure out their dad's business partner or the "auntie" who visited their mom every month had a little more going on.

- Plus there's way more gender non-conformity and varying degrees of trans-ing than the powers that be have a handle on. Pel isn't unique, even if most would have to somehow make it out into space to be able to thrive.

Damn a lot of these are just my personal bugbears plus THE GILDED AGE BUT WITH HAIRLESS SPACE RODENTS ain't they

- Women can't earn profit, okay. But lending or "lending" things to each other isn't commerce, riiiiiiight? To be assigned female is to master navigating a vast, dizzying barter/gift economy. Smart boys and men leverage this, too, and there are splinter sects that view this as the purest expression of the Great Material Continuum.

- Of course plenty of women make profit anyway, and just do their bast to dodge the FCA. The tough thing about insisting on using latinum as currency is that cash can be so hard to track, you know?

- Because of the RoA, guys are discouraged from doing favors or giving gifts without setting clear expectation of getting some return on investment. This can twist into an expression of friendship (and of course women do it too), and the ledger will keep cycling between debit and credit among friends for decades. A common mistake aliens make is to tell them recompense isn't needed without explaining why, or return their favor or present with something that zeroes out the debt. The Ferengi will assume you want to break off the friendship. (I cribbed this from dim memories of an African studies course I took in 2007 and whose textbook I know I still have but I can't frigging find it...)

- Flirting, they do a lot of it for a lot of reasons. Roddenberry made it clear that they're just straight up pretty horny, but there's no reason it can't pull double duty for building alliances with other people, smoothing over feuds or disagreements, or cementing friendships. Ferengi who are ace and/or sex-repulsed are possibly viewed similar to the way we'd view someone who's "not a hugger/not big on touching" and if they flirt just don't get offended if it doesn't go any further; aro Ferengi don't garner much comment aside from an occasional "wow how badass, never falling in love with anyone."

- where to even start on making sense of the Blessed Exchequer??? Like seriously, what is this literal prosperity gospel insanity, I need to force myself to re-read Rand and like, some Milton Friedman for this shit. Help.

- fuck I'm probably going to actually do that, RIP me...

[mallowstep]

What are your opinions on forbidden relationships in Warriors? I've seen people label it as a "trope" because of how common this is. Some find the forbidden romance aspect intriguing, though others find it extremely repetitive and old

I'd like to know your thoughts!

hm. well, it is a trope. i mean, there's an average of one major one a series, right? greysilver, leafcrow (and others, but that's the big one), heatherlion (and implied others), tigerdove, idk i don't remember anything from avos but violetshine luv her but there's probably something, bristleroot. dotc doesn't count bc well it's dotc.

anyway.

definitely a trope.

but that's not a bad thing.

what i think people don't give warriors enough credit for is that these are not all the same forbidden romance. most of them are handled in different ways and bring up different conflicts. i understand why people are tired of them, but let's not discredit one of the only good things in warriors romance: that they make forbidden relationships different.

like, with grey and silver, it's about loyalty and responsibility. leafcrow is just bad idea central, both heatherlion and tigerdove are about responsibilities and young cats, and they have two different answers, and bristleroot is challenging the whole idea from the start.

so like. give credit where credit is due: we're not doing the same (forbidden) relationships again and again. i don't see enough people talk about that.

okay so it turns out i have um. a lot of thoughts about this. idk i just kept writing and now it's over 2k words. so you know. under the cut: matthew does half-baked media analysis to talk about why the code and cats' relationships to it are misunderstood. while actually staying on topic.

anyway from here on i'm just going to say relationship/romance, and understand that i'm generally talking about the forbidden kind. also i'm talking exclusively within the realm of warriors romance, which is, on average, bad. so when i say "X is good," i don't mean "X is good in general," i mean "given what we have, X is good." just to be clear.

right! basically, this is a tool. it creates tension and drama, and that's fine. warriors is a soap opera, remember. soap operas use secrets and relationships and all sorts of plot devices over and over again. warriors is not Serious. it can be dark. it has serious moments. but it is not a Serious Book Series for Serious Kids. it is a soap opera for Future Theatre Kids. yeah?

from that perspective, i'm a-ok with forbidden romance. (also, as a mini-aside, it creates some much-needed genetic diversity when kits are involved.) and again: all of the major relationships are different, so i think that's better than a lot of people give it credit for.

yeah, heatherlion and greysilver and tigerdove are all about the same general idea (loyalty and responsibility), but they all have different circumstances and different resolutions.

so like? yeah. sure. why not?

plus, like, who's reading warriors for the romance? i separate the concept of "romance" from a "relationship" here: i like the relationships in warriors (ivy and dove tension my beloved), but i'm not here to read about tigerheart wooing dovewing. (yes, i do love the tigerdove scenes in oots. no, that's not because i think they're very good at being romantic.)

but i digress.

if warriors was a Serious Book Series for Serious Kids, i'd have a different take here. having been in an IRL forbidden relationship, i have the Personal Insight and Experience to say they're this weird mash of "very much how it feels" and "not at all how it feels."

tigerdove is probably my favourite bc it's the closest to my circumstances, and i think dovewing is a good pov. i like how she breaks up with him because it's a bad idea, but that's not the same thing as not feeling for him.

(heh. twelve-year-old me reading oots like "this will never apply to my life" what did you know)

but to the point, if warriors was serious, i'd point out that the consequences always seem to be internal. we haven't seen characters be punished for their actions. and so on.

but warriors is a soap opera.

and here's my actual thesis: we haven't seen characters be punished for their actions, because "forbidden relationships" are a normal and expected part of clan society.

like no, fandom-at-large, you're kind of missing the point. okay, you know how like. people complain about. idk. ivypool and fernsong being distantly related?

(third aside/very long ivyfern rant, i put a nice big "rant over" after it if you want to skip past it: they're third cousins. they share, max, 2.2% of their genetics. they are fine. do you know your third cousins? do you? yeah. and like. they live in a closed society. there is no one new.

i've never seen someone complain about forbidden romance and ivyfern at the same time, and i do generally agree we should have more mystery fathers, altho for a different reason, but like. idk. this bothers me.

their last shared relative was nutmeg. that's so far back. god. i get it, there was a prophecy saying they're related, but if you remember my rant about how dovewing shouldn't be a part of the prophecy because of how distantly related to firestar is, you know how i feel about that already.

complaining they're related and that's a problem is. deep breath here. it requires demonstrating that warriors has kept track of kinship all the way back to firestar's mother. and even if you wave that requirement, you still have to convince me they would care about that. this isn't a "they're cats, harold" situation, this is a "you would not know your third cousin even if you lived in the same town" situation.

i mean maybe you would. some people do. but my hometown has generations of people who married within its borders. you get as far as "cousin," maybe "second cousin" if you're feeling fancy. i'm not trying to make an always true statement, i just. every time i see someone complain about ivyfern being related, it strikes me as not understanding how extended families work?

i know third cousins isn't technically classified as a distant relative, but you have, on average, 190 third cousins. i feel so strongly about this i looked it up.

like i'm not. okay if you say, "I don't ship ivyfern because they are third cousins and that makes me uncomfortable" you are Valid. in general, you are all valid. i do not think you have to, on a personal level, be okay with ivyfern. you are free to do as you wish.

but. if you want to argue "ivyfern is a Bad Ship because they are third cousins" you have a hell of a burden of proof. simply saying "they share a great-great-grandmother" does not meet that, because like. yeah. we're all pretty damn related.)

(ivyfern rant over)

IVYFERN RANT OVER

right so. anyway. if you remove forbidden romance? you're forcing a lot more of those situations.

i've been messing around with modelling some small-scale fan clan-adjacent stuff to double-check the ratios for wbcd, and it's. it quickly becomes a necessity, is what i'm saying.

but i got distracted like. researching how related third cousins are. my point is not about that, that's like. a different topic. that i crammed into here because i have no self-control.

no, no, what i was trying to get to is: oakheart straight up tells us that cats have half-clan kits all the time, it's not a problem, no one talks about it. and that? that is exactly what we see modelled by warriors.

the only reason greystripe and silverstream have a problem is that silverstream dies and greystripe claims the kits. i feel very strongly that if she had lived, the kits would have been born and raised riverclan kits, that might, maybe, one day, guess who their father is.

we haven't had any half clan kits in a while, which yes! i think is a problem, but like. the fact that the three are medicine cat kits seems to be a bigger issue. which feels right.

and i'm not trying to argue what i think should be, i legitimately believe the text of warriors defends this, even in newer books which throw out a lot of the older world building in favour of more human-like conflict.

as readers, we are naturally following protagonists. we are following the interesting story. but imagine you're just a background riverclan cat. minnowtail, if you will. do you think, do you honestly think, anyone cares about minnowtail?

not in a bad way, just. if she's meeting up with mousewhisker at night, do you think anyone cares? of course not! no one cares. she's not a Protagonist. her kits aren't going to be prophesized about.

heck, finleap switches clans! and it's barely a big deal. it feels like one, but when's the last time anyone bothered dealing with it? that's what i thought.

(also i forgot like all of avos so that very last point might be a bad one if it is my argument stands i just literally do not remember anything in avos but violetshine. none. zero.)

but it's easy to get caught up with characters like hollyleaf and bristlefrost and forget that like. not everyone cares about the code. most of our protagonists do, because it's become mostly equivalent with being moral. and i have an essay draft titled "the code as religion vs the code as law" where i want to expand on this more, but i think like. that idea, that we as readers should use the code as a way of evaluating cats' behaviour, is flawed.

like, i'm not talking about being inconsistent with how that is applied. if you want to say, "the trial leafpool goes through for having half-clan kits is legitimate because of the code," i still think your approach is flawed.

because the cats themselves don't seem to think that way.

the code doesn't, to me, feel like the ten commandments. it does not feel like "you must do this to be a good cat."

rather, it feels like aesop's parables. "here are mistakes cats made and what we do instead of that."

i don't think the cats know the code the way we do. i do not think they memorize a list of rules as kits. i think they know what is and is not part of it, but i imagine they know the stories far more than the rules.

(i'm working on my lore stories to replace code of the clans.)

and even if that's my thoughts, i do think this is supported by the text. no one ever teaches the warrior code, cats just learn it in pieces. "don't waste food because we don't have enough to spare" is taught, not "there's a rule about food and starclan on the code."

that's why the whole arc of the broken code even works: the reason the imposter is able to manipulate things is because cats don't treat the code as a rigid set of rules and commandments, but guiding principles.

the parts of the code that we tend to focus on the most are relationships, apprentices, and battle. or that's my perception. i didn't do a poll to obtain that. there's also the leader's word, but readers don't usually think of that as a good rule, so i'm not including it.

but the parts the cats focus on most are food, territory, and the leader's word. which makes sense: those are basic needs: food, security, and...i don't want to say authority so much as some kind of social system. explaining it would be a whole thing. just trust with me, if you don't mind.

i don't think we have any real reason to believe cats care about half-clan relationships half as much as we do. yes, apprentices are chastized about it, but that's not really the same thing as being punished.

and it's hard to tell, because apprentices being punished has really fallen off, and that's kind of the problem with any argument i try to make about warriors, but.

wow.

i'm actually still on topic? i'm 2k words in and i'm still on topic? a day i never thought would come.

let's wrap this up. cats seem to care about half clan relationships in that: a) they lead to conflicted loyalties, b) they mess with borders and prey, and c) they are in the code as bad. in that order.

and again, if the code was some high and holy religious doctrine, we couldn't have the broken code as an arc. it does not work if the cats are already following it to a t, and know it word for word, because it's signfiicantly harder to manipulate people if they do.

not to the level the imposter does, at the speed he does.

and yes, you could argue that it's more bad writing, but. i think that discredits warriors. yeah, it sure has its fair share of bad writing, but i don't think that's in the way the imposter works. instead, he seizes on a big important doctrine that's nebulous, and uses that to control people.

and that? that feels much more interesting.

so with that in mind, i don't think the cats would care about your typical, non-protagonist forbidden relationship, and i don't think we should, either.

as far as a plot device, i think we're okay with what we have. don't get me wrong, i understand why people are tired of it, but i think we also should remember that warriors is not repeating itself. having multiple forbidden relationships is not repetitive. now, if medicine cats were having half-clan kits every series, i'd make a different argument.

but all of the major forbidden relationships have different outcomes, lessons, and circumstances, and for me, i think that's signficantly interesting.

i didn't really check sources and quotes for this, so like, if you spotted something wrong, feel free to correct me. my overall point stands, but there's a lot of warriors and i have a bad memory, so i could have missed somthing major.

[ask-spider-man-61610]

So I think you’ve talked about your Doc Ock a bit on here... but have you ever encountered any other Ocks in other dimensions? How do they match up to yours?

Yes, I have. Doctor Octopus might not be exactly a universal constant, but it's certainly a common enough title that I've crossed paths with a fair number of them. I'm going to give a short little rundown of each of them, and why they should go to hell. This is gonna be a salty list. If you didn't want that, you should've come to someone else.

The Otto Octavius of Earth-1512 was the first alternate Ock I ever encountered. Unlike most of the Ocks on this list, I don't know or care what his deal is--I just spent an hour in my first ever alternate universe before I saw a man in armored green and yellow throwing cars around with mechanical tentacles. He was also working with the Green Goblin and holding civilians hostage at the time, which in my opinion is reason enough to put him in the ICU like I did. I've never been back to this universe and never will, but presumably he's just doing the same shit every month or so.

The Otto Octavius of Earth-8363, colloquially called God Ock because I guess we can't fucking help but stroke his ego, was the Ock I met during my first outing with what'd eventually be the Cluster. He's a weird edge case. First we fought a robotic duplicate of him, then his actual self after he'd done the dumbest thing I've ever seen an Ock do and integrated an extradimensional energy source into his fucking body in a bid for omnipotence. I suspect he was already basically dead when Gwen ripped the Shard out, but he had a backup personality on a secret hard drive and so we've met his AI self. He agrees it wasn't his smartest move. Still, fuck this guy. He apparently stabbed my alternate self in the back so he deserves what he got.

Oliver Octavius, of Earth-42711a, isn't a doctor. I refuse to call him Doctor Octopus, but he's calling himself that because he claims to be the son of Otto Octavius. Knowing Otto, I'm more than a little skeptical of that claim, but that doesn't change the fact that in a bid to be just like Daddy he dropped out of college to become a supervillain. When Melly noted that this plan was less than stellar he interpreted that as a personal betrayal and has sworn revenge on her. He's temperamental, idolizing of a man he's never met, and has an ego more fragile than sugar glass--and he's not even good at villainy. I walked into his lair, kicked his ass, and walked out again in less than five minutes. Oliver's pathetic. And he knows it, because he's scrambling to compensate with a desperation that anyone with half a brain can see is going to kill him very, very soon.

The Otto Octavius of Earth-22701 needs to fucking leave Morgan alone. The Peter Parker of that universe died like a century ago, and that Otto's engineered a way to stop aging so he doesn't even need to fight superheroes anymore. But no, he reads about a kid in New Orleans with my powers and decides that that's obviously his dead enemy having, I dunno, reincarnated or something. Instead of being the result of the spider-related experiments that he funded. I don't have a lot of respect for this Otto's intelligence. I've only met him in-person once, when I was going on the warpath and beating up everyone who's ever tried to kill Morgan, but for some reason having an actual Peter Parker knock two of his teeth out wasn't enough to deter him from his theory about Morgan being me. I'll try again as soon as I get a chance.

Odyssia Octavius, the Ock of Earth-777, is probably the least scientist and most mad of all the mad scientists here. Also the one who leans the hardest into the Octopus aesthetic, because alone among the Ocks she's a marine biologist. Now, unlike certain counterparts of mine I could mention, I actually don't give a fuck about her decision to serve an eldritch sea monster for power. Nor am I opposed to her overall goal--obviously we gotta save the environment, and obviously we're gonna have to fuck up some industries to make that happen. That's fine. My problems with her are more related to her habit of painfully twisting people she's got a grudge on into horrific monsters and then siccing said monsters on the populace. Even if that wasn't fucking abominable and evil beyond all recompense, it doesn't exactly convey the green message she's trying to go for. Maybe the Writhing One is modifying her logic to suit its own ends, using her as a puppet to get what it wants. Maybe she just fucking sucks. I've only ever spoken to her through the Internet, but if we ever meet face to face I'll be sure to ask which one it is right after I kick her ass and rip off big handfuls of that magic tattoo.

October Otto, the Doctor Octopus of Earth-2, is the only person in this list who I'm not inclined to attack on sight. It took me a little while to get to that point--when the me of Earth-2, Pax, introduced us I was pretty suspicious. But out of all the Ocks I've ever met, this is the only one who's not...nefarious. They're a little eccentric, more than a little shy, but overall a very well-meaning and selfless biologist. I'm glad I met them, even if their tentacles make me a little nauseous to think about. They and I still communicate occasionally, and after what happened to Pax I've been checking in with them to ask about their progress on a cure. This is one of the few people with whom I've ever felt the need to share my files on the Oz virus. I hope it does them good.

With the exception of October, all of these people are fucking awful. But none of them are as dangerous or as detestable as the Otto Octavius of Earth-61610.

The Otto I know is an unrivalled genius. His entire existence is devoted to biorobotics, and over the years he's integrated man and machine on a level that makes the Iron Man armor look like a remote-controlled action figure. He's modified his tentacles to counter my super speed, he's designed and redesigned a zillion different personal helpers, he's made himself the center of a technological superpower controlled solely by his mind. And unlike a lot of Ocks, he's not being manipulated by his tentacles. Nor was he driven insane by the accident that fused them to his body. No, this is a perfectly sane, rational prosthesis engineer who got so frustrated with the bounds of the law that he decided he had the right to start snapping necks.

He's a futurist, is the thing. A man with a grand vision of the technological utopia he could turn the world into, who thinks without a shadow of doubt that he knows what's best for the world and everyone in it, and who's decided that if you try to stop him from realizing that vision that the best thing to do is Remove you from the equation. Worse, he's written off massive swaths of the human race off as expendable--as little people whose lives are a perfectly acceptable sacrifice to bring about his future, who maybe even should be thanking him for the chance to finally mean something.

Every Octobot contains at least a few pieces of human brain. He kidnaps people, lobotomizes them, and integrates parts of their central nervous system into his systems to make his robots more adaptable and independent than purely mechanical systems could be. He's seeded mass-produced medicine with nanotech that hijacked the nervous system of the people who took it and turned them into unconscious parts of a worldwide neural network. On more than one occasion, he's tried to turn entire cities into his own personal laboratories, and everyone inside into lab rats.

Otto Octavius is a monster. No other Ock I've ever met even comes close.

[forestwater87]

How did you become a university Librarian? Did you do an English degree? Sorry if this is a weird question it just really interests me as I’m not sure what to do when I’m older

Eeee I got really excited about this question! 

Okay, the fun thing about librarianship is that all roads can lead to it: as long as you get an ALA-approved (assuming you’re American; if you aren’t I cannot help you) graduate degree you can do just about anything for undergrad. English majors are extremely common, just by the nature of who’s into the job, but literally it doesn’t matter; in fact, weirder and more specialized degrees can actually help in certain jobs, because they give you a ton of background info and qualifications than most of your contemporaries have.

I fell into it because I worked at a library in high school and fell in love with the environment, and when I realized I’d rather die than work in publishing (my previous life’s goal) I gravitated toward library school. I knew from the beginning that I’d need a Master’s -- and a very specific one at that -- so mostly my undergrad was just “grab a foundational degree and have fun with it.” That was really freeing, honestly. I had a ton of fun in undergrad.

Now, if you, Anon, were interested in getting into librarianship I’d have a handful of recommendations. These are all based on my very American experience, and there are probably smarter people than me with better advice but I’m the only one on this blog so heeeeerrreeeee we goooooooooo!

Undergrad

You need a 4-year degree. Full-stop. It doesn’t matter what kind, but you gotta have one to get into grad school.

Like I said, you can do just about anything for an undergraduate degree. Most of the time English is the BA of choice, because librarians love them some books, but some far less common ones that I think would be hugely helpful to a hopeful librarian would be:

Computer Science: Oh my god you need at least a baseline competency in computers/technology please you don’t have to code but you need to be able to turn a computer on and navigate just about any website/office application on just about any device at the very least you need to know how to Google

Business/Marketing: Particularly if you want to work in public libraries, where a bunch of your funding comes from begging politicians and convincing taxpayers to donate/vote to give you money

Law: If you want to be a law librarian

Medical . . . whatever, I don’t know what fields of medicine there are: If you want to work in a hospital or other medical library

History or Art History: If you’re interested in archives or museum librarianship

Education: School librarians in my state require you to be a certified teacher, and no matter what kind of library you end up in, you’ll end up teaching someone something a decent amount of the time

Communications: You’ll be doing a lot of it. Public speaking, too

Spanish/ASL/any not-the-common language: Hey, you never know what your patrons speak

Literally fucking anything I promise it doesn’t matter what you major in you will use it in a library at some point

Just be aware that you will need more than an undergrad degree. You’ll need probably 2 years of postsecondary schooling (more for certain types of librarianship), so get yourself comfortable with the idea of college.

If you’re like me (please don’t be like me), you might toy with the idea of getting a minor or two/double majoring to round out your skill set. Honestly I’d encourage it if you’re comfortable with the workload and have the time or money; like I said, there are no skills or educational background that won’t come in handy at some point. I promise. We see it all.

Along those lines, a wide expanse of hobbies can be hugely helpful too! You never know when your encyclopedic knowledge of Minecraft will be useful to a patron, but it absolutely will be.

Graduate School

All right, you’ve got your lovely little Bachelor’s Degree, maybe in something weird and esoteric for the fun of it . . . now you’re off to do more school!

It’s a bit complicated, because there are a handful of different titles an appropriate degree could have; my school called it “a Master of Science in Information Science” (MSIS), but other schools might just go with “Master’s of Information Science” (MIS), “Master’s of Library Science” (MLS), “Master’s of Library and Information Science” (MLIS) . . . it’s a mess. 

What you need to do is make sure the degree is approved by the American Library Association, who decides if a program is good enough to make you a librarian in the States. (Again, if you’re not American, good luck.)

Here’s a list of ALA-accredited programs and the schools that offer them.

The nice thing is accreditation has to be renewed at least every few years, so that means your program is always updated to make sure it’s in line with national standards. I’m not promising you’ll learn everything you need to be a librarian in grad school (oh my god you so won’t not even close hahahaha), but at least in theory you’ll be learning the most up-to-date information and methods.

(I’m curious to see how things have changed; when I was in school from 2015-17, the hot topics in library science were makerspaces (especially 3D printing), turning the library into the community’s “third space,” and learning how to incorporate video games into library cataloging and programming. No idea if those are still the main hot-button issues or if we’ve moved on to something else; I imagine information literacy and fake news are a pretty big one for current library students.)

Anyway! You pick a school, you might have to take a test or two to get in -- I had to take the GRE, which is like the SATs but longer -- almost certainly have to do all that annoying stuff like references and cover letters and all that, but assuming you’re in: now what?

There are a couple options depending on the school and the program, but I’m going to base my discussion around the way my school organized their program at the time, because that’s what I know dammit and I will share my outdated information because I want to.

My school broke the degree down into 5 specializations, which you chose upon application to the program:

Archives & Records Administration: For working in archives! I took some classes here when I was flirting with the idea, and it’s a lot of book preservation, organizing and caring for old documents and non-book media, and digitization. Dovetails nicely into museum work. It’s a very specific skillset, which means there will be jobs that absolutely need what you specifically can do but also means there aren’t as many of them. It makes you whatever the opposite of a “jack of all trades” is. You’re likely to be pretty isolated, so if you want to spend all your time with books this might be a good call; it’s actually one of the few library-related options that doesn’t require a significant amount of public-facing work. 

Library & Information Services: For preparation to work in public or academic (college) libraries. Lots of focus on reference services, some cataloging, and general interacting-with-the-public. You have to like people to go into library services in general, heads up.

Information Management & Technology: Essentially meaningless, but you could in theory work as like a business consultant or otherwise do information-related things with corporations or other organizations.

Information Storage & Retrieval: Data analytics, database . . . stuff. I don’t really know. Computers or something. Numbers 3 and 4 really have nothing to do with libraries, but our school was attempting to branch out into more tech-friendly directions. That being said, both this and #3 could definitely be useful in a library! Libraries have a lot of tech, and in some ways business acumen could be helpful. All roads lead to libraries; remember that.

Library & Information Services / School Library Media Specialist: This was the big kahuna. To be a school librarian -- at least in my state -- you need to be both a certified librarian and a certified teacher, which means Master’s degrees in both fields. What our school did was basically smushed them together into a combined degree; you took a slightly expanded, insanely rigorous 2-2.5 years (instead of the traditional 1.5-2) and you came out of it with two degrees and two certifications, ready to throw your butt into an elementary, middle/junior high, or high school library. Lots of focus on education. I started here before realizing I don’t like kids at all, then panicked and left. Back in 2017 this was the best one for job security, because our state had just passed a law requiring all school librarians to be certified with a MSIS/MLS/whatever degree. So lots of people already in school libraries were desperately flinging themselves at this program, and every school was looking for someone that was qualified. No idea if that’s changed in time.

No matter what concentration you went in with, you automatically graduated with a state certification to be a librarian, which was neat. You didn’t automatically get civil service status, though; for some public libraries you need to be put on a civil service list, which means . . . something, I’m not entirely sure. It involves taking exams that are only available at certain times of the year and I gave up on it because it looked hard. 

No one did more than 1 concentration, which is dumb because I wanted to do them all, but it takes a lot of time and money to take all the classes associated with all of them so I personally did #2, which was on the upper end of mid-tier popularity. School library and database services were far and away the most popular, and literally no one did the business one because it was basically useless, so library and archives were the middle children of which the library one was prettier.

THAT BEING SAID! Some forms of librarianship require a lot more education. A few of those are:

Law librarians: At least in my state, you gotta be a certified librarian and have a J.D. This is where the “big bucks” are -- though let’s be real, if you want to be a librarian you have zero interest in big bucks; reconcile yourself to being solidly middle-class and living paycheck-to-paycheck for the rest of your life or marrying rich -- which I guess is why it requires the most work.

School librarians: Like I mentioned, depending on the state you might need two degrees, and not all schools smush them into one. You might need to get a separate Master’s in education.

College librarians: Now, this depends on the college and the job; some colleges just need an all-access librarian, like mine. I didn’t need to specialize in anything, I just showed up with my degree and they took me. (Note: these sorts of entry-level positions tend to pay piss. Like, even more piss than most library gigs. Just a heads-up.) However, if you’re looking to get into a library of a higher-end university, you might be asked to have a second Master’s-level or higher degree just to prove you’re academic enough to party at their school. (Let’s be real, Harvard is almost certainly gonna want someone with a Ph.D. at the very least. That’s just how they roll.) Alternatively, the position might be for a specialty librarian, someone in charge of a field-specific library or field-specific reference services; if you’re being asked to head up the Science & Engineering Library at Masshole University, it’s reasonable to expect that you’ll be bringing a degree in engineering or some sort of science to the table. Colleges have so many different needs that predicting what kind of experience/education you should get is a bit of a challenge. Good luck. Some schools will help you out a bit with this; my grad school had dual degree programs where you could share credits between the MSIS and either an English or History Master’s so you could graduate with both in less time. I . . . started this, and then panicked at the thought of more school/writing a thesis and bailed, but it’s great if you’re into that idea!

What’s the point of the Information/Library Science degree?

You have to have the degree. If you don’t have the degree, you don’t get the job and you don’t make-a the money. Resign yourself to getting a Master’s degree or you’re gonna be bummed out and unemployed.

In terms of what you learn? Well, obviously it depends on the program, but I found that a lot of what I learned was only theoretically related to what I do on a daily basis. My instructors were lovely (well, the adjuncts anyway; the full-timers really didn’t want to be there and wanted to be off doing research and shit), but every library is so idiosyncratic and there’s such a massive umbrella of jobs you could get in one -- god, I didn’t even get into things like metadata services, which I learned basically nothing about in grad school but are super important to some positions -- that it’s hard to learn anything practical in a classroom.

However, besides the piece of paper that lets you make-a the money, there are two important things you should get from your grad school education:

Research skills: My god, you’re going to be doing so much research. If you’re a public librarian, you need to know how to Google just about anything. And if you’re a college librarian, being able to navigate a library database and find, evaluate, and cite sources . . . I mean, you’re going to be doing so much of that, showing students how to do that. Like a ridiculous amount of my day is showing students how to find articles in the virtual library. Get good at finding things, because much like Hufflepuffs, librarians need to be great finders.

Internship(s): Just about every library program will require an internship -- usually but not always in replacement of a thesis -- and if the one you’re looking at doesn’t, dump it like James Marsden in a romantic comedy. Internships are hugely important not only because they look good on a resume and give you some of those delicious, delicious references, but they are a snapshot of what your job is going to look like on a day-in, day-out basis; if nothing else, you’ll learn really fast what does and doesn’t appeal to you. As I mentioned, I wanted to be a school librarian for about half a semester. You know what changed my mind? My class required like 40 hours of interning at schools of each level. Being plopped into that environment like a play you’re suddenly acting in? Super helpful in determining whether or not this shit is for you.

What else should I learn, then?

Besides how to research basically anything? Here are some useful skills in just about any library:

Copyright law. Holy shit, do yourself a favor and learn about publishing/distribution laws in your state. Do you wanna show a movie as a fun program? You need to buy a license and follow super specific rules or it’s illegal! Does an instructor want to make copies of their textbook to give to the students? Make sure you know how much they can copy before it’s no longer fair use! Everything in my life would be easier if I’d taken the time to learn anything about copyright. I did not, and now I’m sad. (I lost out on a job opportunity because they wanted the librarian to be particularly knowledgeable in that kinda thing, and I was very not.)

Metadata and cataloging. In theory, you should learn this in grad school, but I was only given the bare basics and it wasn’t enough. Dublin Core, MARC-21, RDF -- there are so many different kinds of metadata schema, and I took a 6-week class in this and still don’t understand any of the words I just used in this sentence. But basically, to add items to a library catalog you often need to know how to input them into your library’s system; to an extent that’ll be idiosyncratic to your library’s software, but some of it will be based on a larger cataloging framework, so familiarity with those is very useful.

Public speaking and education. You’re gonna do a lot of it. Learn how to deal.

General tech savviness. Again, we’re not talking about coding but if you can navigate a WordPress website? If you know how to troubleshoot just about any issue with Microsoft Word, PowerPoint, etc.? If you can unjam printers and install software and use social media you’re going to be a much happier person. At the very least, know how to google tutorials and fake your way through; your IT person can only do so much, and a lot of it is probably going to fall on you.

Social work, diplomacy, general human relations kinda stuff. You’re going to be dealing with all sorts of people from all sorts of backgrounds, with every political view, personal problem, and life experience under the sun. You need to get very good at being respectful of diversity -- even diversity you don’t like* -- and besides separating your own personal views and biases from your work, you’ll be much better equipped to roll with the punches if you have, for example, conflict resolution training. Shit’s gonna get weird sometimes, I promise. (Once a student came in swinging around butterfly knives and making ninja noises. You know who knew how to deal with that? Not me!)

Standard English writing and mechanics. It’s not fair, but in general librarians are expected to have a competent grasp on the Standard English dialect, and others are less likely to be appreciated by the general populace. Obviously this differs based on your community and environment, and colloquialisms are sometimes useful or even necessary, but as a rule of thumb it’s a good call to be able to write “properly,” even if that concept is imperialist bullshit.

*I don’t mean Nazis. Obviously I don’t mean Nazis. Though there is a robust debate in the library community about whether Nazis or TERFs or whatever should be allowed to like, use library facilities for their own group meetings or whatever. I tend to fall on the “I don’t think so” side of the conversation, but there’s a valid argument to be made about not impeding people’s access to information -- even wrong or harmful information. 

Any other advice?

Of course! I love to talk. Let’s see . . .

Get really passionate about freedom of information and access: A library’s main reason for existing is to help people get ahold of information (including fiction) that they couldn’t otherwise access. If you’re a public librarian, you have to care a lot about making sure people can access information you probably hate. (If you’re an academic librarian it’s a little more tricky, because the resources should meet a certain scholarly threshold, and if you’re a school librarian there are issues of appropriateness to deal with, but in general more info to more people is always the direction to push.) Get ready to defend your library purchases to angry patrons or even coworkers; get ready to defend your refusal to purchase something, if that’s necessary. Get ready to hold your nose and cringe while you add American Sniper to your library collection, because damn it, your patrons deserve access to the damn stupid book. Get really excited about finding new perspectives and minority representation, because that’s also something your patrons deserve access to. Get really excited about how technology can make access easier for certain patrons, and figure out how to make it happen in your library. Care about this; it’s essential that you’re passionate about information -- helping your patrons find it, making sure they can access it, evaluating it, citing it . . . all of it. Get ranty about it. Just do it.

Be prepared to move if necessary: One of my professors told us that there was one thing that would always guarantee you a job that paid well -- this was in 2016 but still -- that as long as you had it you could do whatever you wanted. And that was a suitcase. Maybe where you live is an oversaturated market (thanks for having 6 library schools in a 4-hour radius, my state). Maybe something something economic factors I don’t really understand; the point is that going into this field, you should probably make peace with the idea that you’ll probably either end up taking a job that doesn’t make enough money or struggle a lot to even find one . . . or you’re going to have to go where the jobs are. It’s a small field. Just know that might be a compromise you have to make, unless you can get a strictly remote job.

Read: This sounds stupidly obvious but it’s true! Read things that aren’t your genre, aren’t your age range; patrons are going to ask you for reading advice all the goddamn time, especially if you’re a public librarian, so the more you can be knowledgeable about whatever your patrons might ask you about, the easier your life will be. If you’re considering librarianship you probably love to read anyway, so just ride that pony as hard as you possibly can.

Learn to be okay with weeding -- even things you don’t think deserve it: You are going to have to recycle books. You’re going to have to throw away books. You’re going to have to take books out of the collection and make them disappear in some fashion or another. There are a lot of reasons -- damage and lack of readership are big ones -- and there’s no bigger red flag to a librarian than someone saying “I could never destroy a book.” That kind of nonsense is said by people who’ve never had to fit 500 books onto a shelf built for 450. Archivists are different, of course, as are historians, and everyone should have a healthy respect for books both as physical objects and as sources of information, but you’re going to have to get rid of them sometimes, and you’re just going to have to learn how to do that dispassionately.

Have fun! No one gets into this because they want money; if you want to be a librarian, or work in any library-adjacent field, it’s because you really care about the values of librarianship, or the people in your community, or preserving and sharing as great a wealth of information as possible. Your job will often be thankless and it’ll sometimes be exhausting. There will be times where it’s actually scary. And unless you’re rich as balls, it will make you stare at your student loans and sigh with despair. (You may be living in your parents’ basement while you sigh at your loans because you can’t afford to live on your own, for an example that has zero relevance to any authors of this blog, living or dead.)  I can’t tell you if it’s worth it -- though you’ll probably find out pretty quickly during your internship, because that’s what internships are for. All I can say is that I love it, and I can’t imagine doing anything else.

[universitypenguin]

What happened to u? U okay?

Hello!

First off, thank you for your concern. I appreciate it and I needed it after the past two days. To answer your question - I'm doing great.

I don’t have a lot of context about your question, but I’m guessing your concern is due to my recent blocking spree. A day ago, I went through my followers list and found some minors. I’ve previously seen smut fanfic writers concerned by underage people interacting with their posts. Until I had to block a few of them, I wasn’t aware how uncomfortable it would make me feel.

Since the blocking spree, I've had a lot of thoughts. I'm about to spew them everywhere. You might regret asking me if I was okay. Sorry about that. No one needs to read this whole manifesto about my rollercoaster of emotions the past few days. But in the interest of transparency, I'm posting this very long note.

What I want my readers to know is the following:

Tumblr is both a place for fanfiction and a social media site.

When I interact with followers and write explicit content, I have to be careful about what I'm saying and who I'm saying it to.

I don't intend to block or purge my followers in the future.

As long as I appropriately tag and put warnings on my work, that is adequate protection for my blog. Everything I write containing explicit content is tagged.

However, I won't interact with users who don't have an age stated in their bio.

There have to be boundaries, given the content of my writing. But I've also come around to the realization that I'm not capable of policing every interaction. Tumblr is a public forum. Minors following me makes me uncomfortable. But by the same token, my work is clearly labeled at 18+ and so is my blog.

There's a lot of explicit content out there for minors if you really think about it. In my high school freshman English class we talked about the book "The Color Purple." Believe me, that was explicit and we were only 14. Any minor with a library card and a Google browser can access a lot more intense content than what I write. I hope they're all being safe, but I can't have a melt down blocking spree again.

I'm not a cop, I'm not a parent, and what minors consume is down to them and the adult responsible for them. If I know someone is a minor I'll block them, should I notice they're trying to interact with me. Otherwise, I'm not purging my followers ever again. It's too much drama. I'd rather leave Tumblr than do that twice. I'm tired and I'm starting to work on my post graduate classes, I work full time in a demanding job, I'm in the process of editing my novel, and trying to keep up with my personal life. Quite literally, I don't have time to block. Writing fanfic is supposed to be my fun time. Let's keep it that way.

Due to the fact that some people I blocked were later unblocked after I took a closer look at their blogs, I'm posting a full explanation below. A quick summary is this:

After only writing for three months, I'd amassed 500 followers. On Monday I blocked almost 200 of them. Then I reviewed my block list and editing down some people who were prematurely blocked. [I assume the anon is one of the unblocked who had me disappear from their dash. Sorry!] This blocking thing isn't sustainable. In the future I'll run my blog differently as far as interaction goes in an effort to be responsible.

Continue reading for the saga of:

The Great Blocking Spree and Existential Crisis of an Erotic Fanfic Writer.

The Blocking Spree:

On Monday I realized a thirteen year old was following me and interacting with my work. This creeped me out.

*Commence blocking spree*

Then I realized how daunting my followers list was. I had 500 followers prior to Monday. That day I blocked about 200 people (some of them prematurely - more on that later.) So after the daunting task of trying to assume, to check bios for ages, to review blog content and determine the user's age, I was tired. Today, I even took a moment to reconsider if I wanted to use Tumblr. Because if all this is my responsibility, maybe I don't have the time or dedication to manage it. When I can be chill, I try to be. This attitude also affected by blocking. It contributed to me unblocking people. When I was doing the blocking spree, I'd give people with no age in their bio a fair shot by reviewing their posts.

I blocked some bot accounts, then a bunch of blank blogs, some ambiguous people who very well could be of age. For the first 100 followers I was pretty aggressive. Then my attention span dropped off and I was a bit more ambivalent. I realized I was doing a crappy job of moderating and wondered what the point was.

The point was that the thirteen year old interacting with my work freaked me out. When I found two sixteen year old followers, it pushed me to continue the purge.

So on I go, blocking. I'm so responsible for doing this, right? But my methodology is crap. What is context for being an adult? Someone had posted about budgeting advice. I thought the budgeting advice was too good for it not to have come from an adult. But my father's a financial advisor and to be honest, I could have given that level of advice at fifteen just from osmosis. Someone had pictures of themselves entering their marijuana plants in the Oregon State Fair. Okay, you've got to be over 18. I didn't block them. Someone else complained about their stats professor and I didn't block them. But in retrospect, one of my high school friends got permission to take college level math courses when we were seniors. She was seventeen when she had a stats professor. The thought circles back - what am I accomplishing here? Next, I went back and unblocked someone who ranted about her Tinder matches being 60 year old men. I wondered if their post was even real. I've lied on the internet before. Nonetheless, I persisted and worked through all 500 followers. When I was done I had 312 followers left.

Post Blocking Spree Existential Crisis:

I know that all the blocking in the world can't stop a teenager who wants to read smut fanfic. I'm not much for posting on social media and I'm not used to a lot of anonymous interaction online. Honestly, I got rid of my SM accounts during college when I felt it was wasting my time. This is the first time I've really use a social media site to post content since college. My twitter account is unused, my Instagram is for close personal friends only, and my TikTok is for mindless consumption of cat videos. (I've trained the algorithm to feed me only cat videos, it's great and I highly recommend it.) I don't post on TikTok, so I don't consider it full use, just lurking.

Okay, Alice, get back to the point....

Right, being anonymous on social media. My blocks are a fence and it's based on self identification from the blogs that follow me. I have little faith in underage consumers to out themselves. I have even less faith in their honesty or respect for an adult's boundaries. They're at a stage in life where they want to push the boundaries. Telling them no is all but inviting them in. I did my blocking spree because I was worried about backlash from someone's parents. But what reasonable judge would come after a fanfic writer? Come on. Logical thoughts but me emotional distress was still brewing.

Why I am the one responsible for who clicks the follow button on my blog? I've always clearly identified what I write and tagged my work as smut.

That thought snapped me out of my whirlwind of anxious thoughts. So I started looking into the laws. My regular work involves medicine, not the legal profession, so I was lost. I found some state level laws that made me glad I'd gone on a blocking spree. California and Florida have specific language in their laws about 'providing minors with explicit content.' But what exactly is that? What I researched applied to the following activities: co-writing smut fanfic with other people, sexting, roleplaying and online messaging.

I run a fanfic blog with limited interaction. I've never done an ask. I don't roleplay on here and I don't want to.

The blocks weren't personal. They were partly based on the awareness that Tumblr is an interactive site and a place that's had a problem with child pornography in the past. But I'm not the smut police. I suck at blocking, and I doubt I did a good job of purging my followers list. This is when it hit me that boundaries are only what I can enforce. They've never been about how other people relate to me, only how I relate to them. (Wow. I've never sounded more like my mother in my life...) After this thought, I started considering what actions I ought to take if I wanted to keep posting fanfic on Tumblr.

My Post Blocking Spree Clarity...

It's up to me who I interact with. I don't have to reply to every comment and re-blog, but I'd like to. I'm stuck between wanting to write for everyone and handling interactions on a social media site that's mostly anonymous.

The fact remains: I can't be the smut police because I suck at it.

What I've decided is that I'll make it very clear on my blog that this is an 18+ space where I publish erotic fanfiction. Smut will always be appropriately marked. I'm not going to interact with reviews, re-blogs, and messages from accounts who don't have their age in their profile. I won't include them in my tag list either. The internet is a public forum. Just as with publishing erotica, once it's out there online for download, it's done. As a ghost writer and an author, I don't control who buys my original fiction, which is just as spicy as my fanfiction. (Trust me, it's explicit. I once had a romance editor tell me I should dial it back on the smutty parts of a novel because "it's a lot of sex for a non-erotica market.") The key difference on Tumblr is about interaction. And that's something I can control. I can decide when I reply to other users. What brought me around to this was the realization that even after the blocking spree, I can't review every single like I get. That's an amount of time and mental energy that's beyond me. Just the past two days have been exhausting and sapped my will to write. Which sucks because I need to go write the next chapter of "Restitution" before tomorrow.

I think the reasons I went on the blocking spree are nuanced. The thirteen year old freaked me out. So did the other underaged people who had ages in their bios. But it also relates to my work. In my job I've seen some nasty child abuse cases. Early on in my career, when I was a 23 year old new hire, I was working on an autopsy for a child abuse victim who'd been murdered by their parent. It was so terrible and graphic, I had to ask one of my older colleagues to take the case. This colleague didn't like me. But she took one look at my face and took the file. She closed out the review without a question and never brought it up again to anyone. I was very grateful. Where I used to work (and where this incident took place) was a major city that holds the unfortunate title of being the human trafficking capital of the US. And something I learned working there was that most human trafficking victims go with their captors willingly. In two years at that job, I never saw one who'd been kidnapped from a dark alley like you see on TV. They were all groomed on social media and thought they were escaping their families (who were often overbearing, toxic, or dysfunctional) for a get away with friends. It was a fun adventure with their internet buddies, until it wasn't.

In retrospect, the underage interaction I found on my blog made me react because of what I've been through. The autopsy case kept coming back to me today while I was at work and I've finally untangled my emotions enough to figure out what caused my melt down. When I was blocking, I was feeling an anxious motivation that I know can only stem from the stress I deal with at my job. Don't feel sorry for me about this - I know my work in medicine helps a lot of people and it's a tremendously satisfying career.

Our Saga's Resolution & How I'm Going to Deal With This In The Future...

- - - - -

In post block clarity, I offer this conclusion:

I'm writing on a public forum. My work is appropriately tagged as smut. In the future, I will also use the tag #no minors to help with filtering. I've always asked underage people not to interact. And on a public forum, what more can I reasonably do? Going forward I will only interact with those who have their age posted in their bio. But blocking sprees and policing every interaction isn't feasible.

I'll review how I'm going to run my tag lists as well. I need to think it over and let my followers know my decision as to if I'll continue using them. Because tagging is definitely interaction and my current tag list was not screened at all. *face palm*

Finally, to my readers who have blank blogs or don't have an age listed. I respect your right to privacy and I'm careful with my personal information as well. But I've also had an uncomfortable two days. If you've lasted through this venting session until now, you must understand that I'm upset by underage interaction. I'm setting my own boundaries and going forward, I'll own my side of the internet. No interaction from me, unless I know your age. Full stop - no exceptions. I think it is reasonable for me to suggest that you leave something on your blog that signifies you are not a minor, whatever that may be. Someone who I didn't block that stands out in my memory had a bio that said "90s baby." It was simple, direct, and left no doubt they were over 18. No age reveal and not even a name. If you put something like this on your blog it'll help explicit content creators feel more comfortable about their interactions.

I went on a spree this Monday and I admit to being heavy handed and aggressive about pruning followers. I had an emotional reaction due to work stress and I didn't think things through logically. I'm relieved for the chance explain myself and set new boundaries that I'm capable of sticking to in the future. But remember - the block button is on my side of the screen. At the end of the day, you might be unhappy with me for the block, but it's my button, it's my blog, and I'll use it as I see fit.

Thank you for reading.

[cienie-isengardu]

The development of Law’s relationship with Zoro - Part 5: Zou, The Kindred Spirits (The Last Moments Before War)

<<Part I: Before Meeting>> <<Part II: Sabaody Archipelago, The First Meeting>> <<Part III: Punk Hazard: The Alliance (A)__(B)>>  <<Part IV: Dressrosa, The Breaking Point (The Plan Failed)__ (Saving Law)__(Protecting Law)__ (Birdcage, Pica and Doflamingo)__ (Aftermath)>> <<Part V: Zou, The Kindred Spirits (Traveling Together)__(Searching for Nakama)__ (Reunion)__ (Ninja-Pirate-Mink-Samurai Alliance)__(The Last Moments before War)>>

After Jack’s attack, Zonesha required medical attention (chapter 822). Anime extended that by showing how various members of the alliance worked together to help the injured elephant and even included a scene between Zoro (who again was lost) and Law asking him about his awful sense of direction.

This scene is funny on many levels, because:

anime didn’t show Law to be involved in any task like making bandages or preparing medicine or, like Zoro, cutting the wood 

which means either he wandered and just saw Zoro or went after him on purpose

the “you walked on your own, Zoro-ya” implies he was aware Zoro at some point disappeared which supports possibility Law searched him on his own

and thought Zoro’s sense of direction was ridiculously terrible which clearly made Pirate Hunter embarrassed. 

At least we know Law paid attention to Zoro in the Dressrosa arc, when he twice got lost on different occasions.

Then the whole interaction was related to Law invading Zoro’s personal space. Either it was his “revenge” for victory party on Dressrosa or he simply felt that comfortable around the other man. Whatever Law’s reason was, once Carrot and Luffy showed up out of nowhere, Law stepped back. Not too far away, but the distance between him and Pirate Hunter was more casual.

Luffy and Carrot made fun of “stray swordsman”. Zoro retorted he will simply carry the wood into the right place and did not take kindly to Law’s comment about waste of time and that he may be lost again. Whatever Zoro wanted to say, Trafalgar without warning used shambles to send the other man into the right place. With wood. That fell from the sky with Zoro and almost killed some poor Minks. Zoro called Law “that bastard” but overall it didn’t change anything between them.

That makes episode 775 one of the most direct interactions between these two Supernovas. Involving violating personal space, commenting on someone's flaw and a bit of arguing.

Once the Zunesha’s wound was dressed, the alliance split in four groups:

The rescue mission for Sanji was carried by Luffy, Nami, Chopper and Brook, Pekom and Pedro. Heart Pirates (represented by Law) and remaining Straw Hats (represented by Zoro) were going to Wano as Kinemon’s group. 

While saying goodbye to Luffy’s team, Law and Zoro stayed far away from each other but close to their respective crewmembers. Then Luffy grabbed his people and simply jumped into an abyss, shocking and/or scaring his companions, samurais, minks and Law alike (chapter 822).

Law definitely still wasn’t used to such a way of transport. And maybe seeing Luffy doing it again brought the not so happy memories of a similar jump on Dressrosa. In contrast Zor’s group was pretty much relaxed watching their companions fall down from such height.

And so, the Zou arc ended.

Luffy’s group headed to Big Mom’s territory while Zoro’s group with samurais and Heart pirates will soon travel to Wano cramped in Law’s submarine.

Zou arc is set up for the upcoming fight against Kaido and Big Mom. One one hand, chapters 803 - 822 provided details and pieces of history needed for better understanding of the alliance situation and what will wait for them in future. On another, there were a few days of needed rest for characters during which the similarity between Law and Zoro could be seen. Both have marks of “dark characters” with specific sense of humor and/or logic. Both are cool-headed and while analyzing their situations often emotionless, if not to say clinical or even heartless. In dangerous situations they aren’t prone to panic or showing worries. Both have low tolerance for idiots (unless said idiots were their crewmembers). Both are introverted, quiet people who don’t talk much but observe their surroundings. Often keep some tangible distance from the large group and seem to like their own personal space. At the same time, through the arc Law could be seen in close range to Zoro - sometimes with little to no personal space between them. They may not talk much about personal matters and don’t hang like Luffy and Usopp do, but they definitely feel comfortable enough to stick so often close to each other and share observations. 

Zoro, as one of the quietest Straw Hats and less prone to being emotional (like crying after dying painted dragon) was still the safest person to stay around for Law. They understood each other without need of many words, had similar reactions to danger or shocking news and people saying idiotic things (Bartolomeo and Luffy) while not showing their own emotions - even when ninja picked their interest immediately. Which is why Zou arc was titled by me as “The Kindred Spirits” because finally manga presented their interactions in more detailed way and it is hard to miss how often those two decided to stay around the other, even if there wasn’t anything to talk about.

If I have to sum up the Zou arc in relation to the development of Law’s relationship with Zoro in one sentence, I think “Law hanging out with a fellow introvert when there are so many noisy extroverted people around” would do the work.

Here comes additional thoughts and details worth to consider:

↪ In theory, as non captain, Zoro is below Luffy and Law. Straw Hat and Surgeon of the Death are de facto leaders of alliance. But once Luffy went his way, Zoro led Straw Hat group (similar like Sanji led the separated part of crew to Zou). During that time, he and Law were on equal footing in the sense of leadership skills. Interestingly, the narrator called their group as “team Zoro”, totally ignoring Law’s status as captain or potential leader. Later on, when alliance split in four groups, the graphic illustrating the division showed Trafalgar and Zoro as equal leaders representing their respective crews while both were put into Kinemon’s team.

↪ Thinking more about “team Zoro”, there is a possibility that Law temporary accepted Zoro’s leadership:

- it is clear he hates when people order him around (what was seen on Sabaody Archipelago with Eustass Kid) and Luffy, every time Straw Hats makes a decision ignoring Law’s opinion or outright ignoring him.

- Nami mentioned in Dressrosa Law was a lot like Luffy - giving orders to others without caring what they think. At the same time on Zou he did not boss anyone from Straw Hats. All major matters (not waiting for samurais and finding Bepo) were decided by Zoro. Everyone was allowed to express their concerns - what Robin and Usopp did - but once Roronoa made the final decision, no one questioned his judgment of the situation. Not even Law who, as captain himself, should be on equal ground. 

- Law said “we should head straight for [Bepo] if we want accurate intel” which sounded like a suggestion of best action instead of giving order. This adds to the impression Law was truly compliant through their journey into the unknown place.

- Considering that Zoro did not try to order Law around (like Kid) and listened to his observations and suggestions (unlike Luffy sometimes), there wasn’t any reason for conflict or power struggles between those two Supernovas. Trafalgar was treated well by Zoro and the group who asked about his opinion and respected him in the general sense of the word. 

↪ There is also the matter of Carrot’s attack. Zoro took on himself to fight the unknown enemy and Law did not protest. 

- Once again, Sabaody Archipelago showed Law did not take kindly to insinuation he needed protection of others when Kid insisted on fighting marines alone. 

- During Dressrosa, he didn’t fight unless he had to; to save as much energy as possible in case of a facing Doflamingo. We learned then that though Ope Ope no Mi was a powerful devil fruit, using its powers consumed a lot of energy. 

- It is hard to judge how much time Law needed to fully renew his strength but after three days of rest on Dressrosa and one week of journey, from the group that arrived to Zou, Law seemed to still be recovering from injuries. What the bandages on his arm implies. Not even Luffy or Usopp had any visible injury signs after so much time. 

- In all fairness, Zoro was the only one person in the group who wasn’t really damaged during the previous battle. The fight with Doflamingo left Luffy sleeping for three days after, Law and Usopp were mercilessly beaten down at some point, Franky had a manly fight against Senor Pink that left him injured and exhausted, Robin was hurt while protecting Rebecca from Diamente’s attack.

- Now, considering that Law could be not fully healed - and if that was true, Law and Zoro should be very aware of such a problem - letting Roronoa to deal personally with the danger makes sense. On one hand Zoro is always first to fight an enemy, because he likes fighting. On another, protecting others is his natural reflex. But in contrast to Kid, Zoro doesn’t make a big deal of that; he doesn’t ask for gratitude nor make fun of those who rely on him for being weak. The same as in Dressrosa, Law’s inability to fight at full capability was acknowledged but didn’t treat as personal weakness. Zoro simply protected the group because it is what he always does - put himself between danger and other people.

- Which could explain why Law didn’t protest and let the other Supernova deal with the enemy instead of proving his battle superiority or something like that. Law allowed himself to be protected - maybe because of injuries or because of trust in Zoro. Maybe for both of those reasons.

↪ During the joint trip to meet Raizo, Law always stayed at the end of the group, just after Zoro. Anime made it especially look like Trafalgar kept quite a large space between himself and Pirate Hunter, even though for most of time he didn’t mind staying close to the man. This actually made me think about author’s notes included in volume 76:

“This famous Japanese saying that can be taken as even sexist. "A wife must always walk three steps behind her husband."

This saying comes from ancient Japanese samurai culture. Let's say we were one of those samurai who constantly carried around those dangerous Japanese swords, not knowing when we'd need to pull them out and fight- if that were the case, would we really make our loved ones walk right next to us? Those "3 steps" are equivalent to the distance we must make to keep our ladies safe!! If you're a man, say this. "Take 3 steps back and follow me!!!" Take 3 steps back from volume 79, and this is "Volume 76"!!” [translation according to one piece wiki]

Putting aside the context of wife, the “safe distance” from someone who is carrying katanas actually could explain the change in range between Zoro and Law. When the group went to and came back from the hidden place, everyone was walking in line, one person after another. Since Law was a swordsman himself, he may follow some unspoken safety rules, like not going too close to armed swordmaster. Also, maybe he prefered to keep a distance between Zoro’s cursed sword and his own? The cursed blades like to cause problems and some, like Kitetsu, are bloodthirsty. So in general, the distance kept then most likely was less about liking or disliking each other and maybe about some rules of safety understandable to swordsmen?

↪ This seems to be more anime-thing, but Law addressed Roronoa as Zoro-ya. In the previous arc, most male Straw Hat pirates get their own nicknames (nose-ya for Usopp, Black Leg-ya for Sanji, Straw Hat-ya for Luffy). Law is on a first-name basis with Zoro. On the other hand, Roronoa used Luffy’s nickname Traffy..

↪ The interest in ninja is another thing they have in common albeit for different reasons. Law was mainly interested in clone jutsu which fits his medical skills - he can manipulate someone’s body while a ninja may multiply himself. Zoro’s interest was focused mainly on weapons and ninja’s endurance to pain/injury, because of course he wanted to see how strong the shinobi was.

↪ Law seems to not be a fan of partying, at least not in a big and noisy group. I’m not sure if we ever saw him actually drinking alcohol (don’t remember that personally) and who knows, he may not be fond of that too. This time Zoro didn’t drink with Law, so either he respected Trafalgar’s wish to be left alone or simply knew that Law was surrounded by his own crew, thus didn’t need his company. Last time, Law was a lonely Heart pirate between Straw Hats and the new Straw Hat Grand Fleet, now his own crew for sure wanted to spend some time with a long no see captain.

That is all for now for Zou arc. The alliance had a chance to relax and rest a bit before facing Kaido. With the help of new friends, Zoro and Law headed to land of samurais now occupied by one of Yonko. How their relationship will work under new level of pressure will verify the next part - Wano arc.

[insomniac-dot-ink]

Breadcrumbs

It was Saturday night so you knew it wasn’t going to be a good time. I mean, someone would probably be having a good time, but that was usually the problem. I work as an EMT downtown and a “good time” didn’t always turn out right for everyone. Weekends in particular often saw a good number of drunken brawls, passed out Freshmen on lawns, people accidentally locked out of their homes and close to frostbite, and all sorts of mild concussions.

I had been dreading this particular day for the entire week. Madison is a college town, meaning that most of the population is young adults trying to get a degree in psychology or international relations or getting alcohol poisoning by the age of 22. It also meant that when things happened at the college, the rest of the city felt it.

It was the weekend after finals and we felt it. The night before had seen a tiny girl in a rainbow shirt puking in the ambulance three times (and on me) and a pre-law student having a nervous breakdown over their test results while I asked them over and over what they had taken. And at the very end of my shift around 3 am a frat boy tried to punch me and then cried, asked to call his mom, and fell asleep all in the span of ten minutes.

I was actually one of those students just a few years earlier with the same panic and sleep-deprived wildness in me. I tried my best to help with sutures and calming words and a very large puke bag. “Doctor” had been the dream job since I was old enough to google youtube videos of live-surgeries, but getting to “Dr. Braginsky” was a thing far in the future.

For now, it was just me and my crew and the frigid streets.

It was the regular gang that night for the Ford pick-up rig: Mary Keynes who was at least forty but drove like hell and texted her kids every few hours. She had been there longer than any of us and often regaled us with the story of how she left her husband and decided to make several “life changes.” Driving an ambulance was one of those changes.

And then there was the other paramedic on duty: Jimmy Newark. He wasn’t even that interested in medicine as far as I knew and worked as an accountant during the day. He told us he just wanted something to fill his nights and was a slow-talking calm man with a sad-dog look about him, like he had been kicked a few too many times as a puppy. I also knew that I only ever saw him really come alive was when he was staunching a head wound or trying to resuscitate an old lady from heart failure.

It seemed he got some weird thrill from it, but he was good at his job so I never said anything.

It was me, Mary, and Jimmy. We were pretty chummy at that point and worked well together and the first few hours flew by.

We picked up a kid with a badly sprained ankle after he took a spill on some black ice and visited two seniors who had taken some party drug that had them picking at invisible scabs and babbling. I didn’t think anything of it.

It was a ten hour shift and we were four hours in. Downtown was all lights and red faces and bad music coming from somewhere. I had my flash cards out. I had been studying for the MCAT for almost a year and a half by that point and being an EMT was good practice, but it wasn't a replacement for the actual book knowledge med school would take. And I kept getting nervous.

My hands are steady and there was no end to my fascination with the weird things of the human body, but thinking about testing into competitive schools like Johns Hopkins always got me a little stomach sick. I was getting that nervous sick feeling thinking about applications when we got the call.

It came in over the radio and Mary took it right away. I didn’t hear most of the conversation since I was absorbed in my own thoughts and figured it was something like a college student slipping on a beer bottle. But it was different.

“Right, Sherman Avenue.” We made a quick U-turn and turned on our lights just as I stuffed my flashcards away into a separate compartment as to not get in the way. “Good Samaritan call-in.” Mary said over her shoulder, “an injured man off Sherman avenue. Near the park.” Jimmy leaned forward, “Cuts? Broken bones?” “Didn’t say,” Mary said and made a sharp right turn. “He said it might be a homeless guy. That he just looked bad.” “Okay,” I said and mentally prepared myself for any of the “worst” possibilities. There was a relatively small homeless population in Madison, but they were the most vulnerable to violence and the worst of the Wisconsin winter.

We made it in good time to Warner Park and I looked up just in time to see the slate grey skies starting to release little tiny puffs of snow. “Oh great,” Jimmy sighed and looked up with me. “I left one my house windows open.” 

I rolled my eyes and we pulled up to Sherman Avenue with a Goodwill across the street and dark stretches of park on the other. I sighed, “I don’t suppose there was a better tip-off for where this person actually is?” Mary stopped the engine. “Better get out and give it a quick sweep.” We usually only spend a little while looking for an injured person on busy nights like this, but Jimmy pointed first.

“There,” he said and jerked a finger up. “By the light.” There was an upright figure caught in the pure white light of the street lamp on the sidewalk and standing perfectly still. “Is he… hurt?” I asked and squinted and Jimmy was already out of the car. “What are you talking about?” He pinched his gloves on and was running, I got my own gloves on and ducked after him.

“Don’t you want the stretcher?” Mary asked, but I didn’t pause. The man looked like he was standing just fine by himself.

Snowflakes kissed my cheeks softly and I followed Jimmy’s hurried steps toward the figure. “Hold on sir! We’re coming.”

My heart was pounding and I didn’t know why. It beat it in my ears with a hot sticky pulse and my breathing was feverish and far too fast for our light jog. I blinked once, twice, and then the man was farther away. Standing in the light of the next street lamp.

“Wait,” I didn’t like this. I turned to reach for Jimmy, but there was only air besides me. I slowed and looked left and right, “Jimmy?”

Soft snow landed on the tip of my nose and there was a red and visceral scent on the breeze. I took a deep breath of it and recognized the rusty hardened stench of old blood. The type that’s been left there to turn to copper and old musty globs.

I tensed from head to foot and when I looked down there were several tiny drops of blood spattering across the sidewalk. Leading me forward. They were wet and must have been what gave the air a putrid smell.

“Jimmy?” I looked around again, but the street was empty as the wind whipped through the branches of the park trees nearby. I turned to get away from this new eerie twilight feeling.

I took a step and the toe of my shoe dipped into a small puddle of blood. I jumped back, I wasn’t a stranger to blood but it looked darker than normal and seemed to sit...wrong. It was too thick and too shiny in the light.

I stood there as if transfixed, and a soft moan crawled through the space. It matched the wind itself and crooned almost sweetly. I jerked my head up and there was the figure again.

He was standing this time inside the park itself by a bench and tall beech tree. I scanned the area around for Jimmy one more time and then figured maybe he got ahead of me. The moan weaved through the air and I reached out a hand toward it.

“Sir?” The smell of cooking meat and winter chill filled my mouth and I covered my nose with my sleeve. The man stood next to the bench, unmoving, and I tried to be rational, there’s blood. Someone’s hurt. Do your job.

I walked quickly on autopilot to get closer to the stranger. Nothing about him came into sharper focus: he was still a faded silhouette among long shadows. I did notice however there was a light I hadn’t seen before.

It was so faint you might be able to convince yourself it wasn’t there, but it burnt pale and tinted blue around his form. An outline a very determined child might have painted around someone.

I sucked in a deep breath and swallowed down the brackish scent once more as I drew closer to him. Spots of blood appeared as shiny pools on the ground. The moan was even softer now and barely audible.

“I’m here to help.” I heard myself say as I indicated the medical insignia on my jacket. The wind slapped me in the face and I winced.

I looked up and there was no one by the bench, but my gaze was driven deeper into the wooded park by a gentle light. And the figure.

I shivered and knew I needed to turn back, I needed it like water or air or a hug after a long day. But there was this smooth line of blood slithering toward him and I was walking. I tried to make it make sense- I couldn’t just leave the fellow and surely once I had him I could drag him back toward the ambulance and find Jimmy again.

I walked past the park bench and past the leafless trees and some of the slush left over from a storm a few days earlier. The snowflakes caressed my cheeks and I squinted ahead.

The moan was musical at this point and I almost started swaying along to it. I didn’t, but I found that I was still walking and walking.

The park passed by and my eyes were filled with the soft glowing blue light and the deep melodic groan that led me toward the earthy blood scent and faded outline.

I couldn’t tear my eyes away and barely noticed as the landscape opened up. The trees fell away and the wind died down and all I was left with was the smooth ground and shiftless dull winter skies. I was however aware of the crack. There was a crackling, electric sound alike to fireworks or eggshells being crunched on the floor.

The moan fell away altogether and it was quiet with only the crackling of the ground and the lovely blue light that seemed to seep inside me. A strange beckoning feeling followed. “Sir,” I whispered as I finally, finally, reached the outline, “You’re injured…”

That’s all I got out before the thing turned around and something stood before me. Featureless, blank skin and something in the middle of its face like a tearing, violent slash that you might describe as a smile. No eyes, no nose, but a jagged smile that split the face in two with the same sick crackling sound as the ground. Something shifted under me.

I gasped and looked down to see that I had stepped out onto the park lake and that’s when the utter cold swallowed me whole.

Cold and cold and freezing water engulfed my head and my vision went white. I tried to pry my eyes open, but the water was black and thick and there was only the barest hint of shine ahead. A shine like long teeth and something looming and huge just beyond me.

“Ah!” A yell like a battle cry erupted from above and I was being wrenched out of the water just as quickly as I had fallen into it.

I sputtered for air above ground.

“Don’t follow the glowing man.” A hoarse voice wheezed into my ear like a chant over and over. “Never follow the glowing man.” I passed out in a twinkling haze of shaking and murmuring.

----------------------

I was saved by a homeless man sleeping on one of the park benches by the lake. No one on my shift remembered me leaving or where I went. All I knew was that I had followed something thoughtlessly out onto the Warner Park lake and fell in.

I asked a nurse, once, if she thought there was something in that lake, but she just gave me a funny look and said that the lake wasn’t deep enough to house much wildlife. I shut up after that.

In the years that followed I never stopped trying to help people, but sometimes I hesitated now. When it was dark, hard to see, and drops of blood littered the ground. I stopped and listened for melodic moaning in the distance.

I didn’t see anything like it again, but working the ambulance wasn’t the same. I looked around corners too much and jumped too easily at different sounds. I took the MCAT as quickly as I could and things become easier in well-lit fluorescent rooms. 

I do stop whenever I can though and give out blankets to anyone sleeping on the street and avidly tell college students and locals to avoid the lakes at night. And not to follow any trails of blood that lead you onward and onward into the dark.

---------------------

If you enjoyed the story I have a patreon for long term support and exclusive bonus content and a ko-fi for one-time tipping and $3 coffee trips, please consider giving to the artist if you can! Even a little helps 🤗

[laurelnose]

the Library at Kaer Morhen

Full disclosure: I am a student of library and information science, not a historian of anything, but I do know a little bit about historical libraries and the general scope of information collection and organizational work, so! here is a brief summary of what might have been in Kaer Morhen’s library, how the library functioned, and what is left of the library as of show timeline.

The closest analogs to Kaer Morhen’s library would have been monastic libraries of medieval Europe and to some extent later medieval university libraries (which existed a little later in history than the years Kaer Morhen was active). On the other hand, Sapkowski likes anachronisms in his worldbuilding, so I don’t feel beholden to perfect historical accuracy on that front and you shouldn’t either. One big difference, for instance, is there doesn’t seem to be any shortage of paper/parchment in the Witcher world like there was in medieval Europe (especially considering the video games), so Kaer Morhen would be totally free to, for instance, keep a lot of ephemera that would never have been created in the first place/been recycled into more ‘important’ texts in an actual medieval library.

This is long, so I’m putting it below the cut.

what was in the library?

Because of the specialized focus of the School of the Wolf (Kaer Morhen’s library is what the LIS field would uncreatively call a “special collection”) most of the materials would probably have been related to the School and its goals, so primarily nonfiction, reference, and archival material.

Kaer Morhen would have two main types of materials: stuff by witchers and stuff not by witchers.

In book and game canon, non-witcher academics study monsters, as well as relevant topics such as alchemy, regular biology, and magic. Subjects like history would also probably mostly be drawn from outside the keep. Witchers might have picked these up in the course of their travels and donated them to the library or have been sent out specifically to retrieve desired volumes. The mages would likely have been able to portal in and out of the keep; this would have allowed the mages to collect texts as well (they may also have potentially had access to mage-only sources for books and materials such as other mages and the mage schools; YMMV on how willing these sources might have been to share with Kaer Morhen’s mages).

Regarding stuff-by-witchers, most of it would have been created by Wolf School witchers and affiliated mages (who I will consider honorary witchers for this purpose). Some of these materials might also have created by witchers from other schools—Kaer Morhen might have traded with other schools for materials, or non-Wolf witchers who needed to shelter at Kaer Morhen might have left materials there. Witcher-created materials might have included some or all of the following:

armor and sword diagrams

treatises and bestiaries by witchers

witchers’ personal/field journals

case/hunt reports

witcher-only alchemy recipes/alchemical research notes

mages’ research notes

important correspondence

saved contract notices

inventory and supply records (this is what the first-ever historical libraries were created to organize!)

personnel records (It’s W3 canon that records were kept of the boys who didn’t survive the Trial of the Grasses; likely similar records were kept of graduating/active witchers and their deaths.) 

The collection itself probably wasn’t that big. Literacy in the Witcher seems somewhat more widespread than it was in actual medieval Europe, but for reference, in 1331 one of the largest libraries in Europe had only 1,850 books in its collection, whereas the second-largest public library system in America today keeps an average of 570 thousand books per location. If Kaer Morhen was keeping ephemera like saved contract notices the total number of individual items would probably have been a lot higher, but by modern standards it would have been pretty a small collection overall.

It also might not have all lived in one place. Smaller collections likely existed in other pockets of the keep: the mages’ tower probably had the bulk of the resources on magic and research on mutagens, for instance, and alchemy texts might have lived in the mutagen/potion labs for ease of access. Individual witchers keeping stashes at Kaer Morhen might also have had small private collections. 

Fictional/artistic materials such as novels or poetry are unlikely to have been a priority of whoever was in charge of acquisitions for the library. If Kaer Morhen had any, they were likely brought to the keep by witchers who personally fancied particular volumes and gave them to the library, or they existed mostly in private collections. Plausibly some witchers might have spent winters writing poetry and such. 

If there was written erotica floating around Kaer Morhen, I would guess most of it existed primarily in witchers’ private collections rather than officially cataloged or kept in the main library. This would make it much more difficult for trainees to sneak around and steal trashy romances, but stealing from specific witchers is also arguably funnier, so do with this what you will.

how did the library work?

There was absolutely at least one person dedicated to the upkeep and maintenance of the collection. More reasonably the head librarian would have had at least one or two assistants (possibly full-time, possibly on-and-off), depending on how dedicated you think Kaer Morhen was to saving and cataloging stuff. Fewer people are needed to keep a collection in order if people aren’t regularly wandering off with stuff. (Fun fact: the librarian of a monastic library was called an armarius or armarian.)

Tasks the librarian and assistants would take care of would include:

helping people find things

repairing, restoring, or copying materials that needed it

acquisitions (requires knowing what gaps of knowledge exist in the collection and figuring out what books to fill them with)

cataloging and keeping inventory (elaborated on further below)

checking out books and tracking where loaned books were

Speaking of checking books out: we have very little information about how specific lending policies worked in medieval libraries, but monastic libraries did lend things out to other monasteries and to individuals. However, witchers probably very rarely wanted to take books out of the keep with them, since books are a pain to carry around all year. Monastery libraries sometimes had written contracts for taking books out, which might have been the case for witchers who just wanted to have books out around the keep. There’s no evidence of card catalogs in medieval libraries but it wouldn’t be implausible for the library to have used something similar to keep track of checkouts if there was paper available. It is unlikely that Kaer Morhen would have enforced a certain time period for check-outs, especially if books remained in the keep; when everyone knows everyone, that becomes sort of unnecessary.

The actual organization of the library would have been…messy, by modern standards. Medieval catalogs were simple lists of items, featuring the title and author, or if neither existed, the first couple of lines of the first page, and perhaps a call number or shelf. They also often described the physical appearance of the book in detail. These lists would have been roughly sorted by either subject or by the physical shelf and shelving order of the items (or both). Some catalogs were sorted by the donor of the items, but this seems unlikely for Kaer Morhen. Sorting by surname or author seems to have been basically nonexistent.

The main purpose of a catalog was to do inventory (usually done at least once a year—probably a spring task at Kaer Morhen, after cataloging any new stuff witchers brought in over the winter), not to locate items.

Materials that existed in smaller collections (if the mages or alchemy labs had their own places to store books) might have been in the catalogs of the main library with notes that they were shelved in other buildings, or they might have had their own catalogs kept up by the people who used those resources most frequently.

When it came to actually finding stuff, the catalog would have been very difficult for people to navigate and someone looking for something specific would have just asked the librarian (or if they were a huge nerd, just been familiar enough with the collection to know where it was and cut out the middleman). Call numbers for books did exist in medieval libraries, but they varied wildly from library to library. Kaer Morhen might also have put numbers on the sides of its bookshelves to help find things, as was done in Roman libraries. (As an aside, it was common for medieval books to be color-coded for subject: red for theology, black for law, green for medicine, etc., which is not really true of books in the video game but would have helped with locating items.)

Notably, Kaer Seren, the Griffin keep, was destroyed by mages for refusing to share its library (presumably the most extensive of any of the witcher libraries); that doesn’t mean Kaer Seren and Kaer Morhen didn’t share materials with each other or the other witcher keeps, but it means outsiders likely were not allowed access to any of the witcher libraries, either directly or indirectly.

what is the library probably like as of the show timeline?

When Kaer Morhen was sacked and the secrets of the Trials were lost, that assault in all likelihood included systematic destruction of most of the library collection.

TW3 shows Ciri has access to bestiaries during her childhood, so either a few things survived in various corners of the keep, the witchers have still been acquiring and bringing back volumes to Kaer Morhen during their travels despite the dissolution of the library, or after she was brought to Kaer Morhen they collected texts specifically for her.

Attempting to properly rebuild the library, even just the non-witcher texts, would be a full-time job for anyone who wanted to pick it up, especially as the catalogs would likely have been destroyed with the books. Probably none of the remaining Wolf School witchers were quite familiar enough with the library’s structure to even begin a project like that, even if they wanted to. The violent destruction of everyone in Kaer Morhen and all of Kaer Morhen’s history would also be an enormous source of pain, so my suspicion is, while they may have a few books that they used for Ciri’s education, none of them have touched the library itself or desire to. Unfortunately? The library is, most likely, currently a room full of ashes.

[narcissasdaffodil]

Flufftober 2020

Day 2: First Meeting

This is another AU fic. I wanted to do something a little different instead of taking from my fic, so this is another coffee shop AU, so enjoy this!

Alecto’s thoughts disappear from her head as she hears the sound of footsteps approaching her. She was aware she would likely need to give up some space,deciding to check through one of Abby’s essays in a coffee shop was a good idea when she first thought of it, but now the heavens have opened outside, she’s slightly regretting her decision as the coffee shop fills up with people sheltering from the rain, along with the noise that accompanied them.

Wow! She’s gorgeous.

When footsteps stop beside her table, she looks up to see a pretty girl standing there. She had long loose ombre hair and glasses and was likely not much taller than her. She found herself staring, mesmerised by the beauty standing there. The noise of the rest of the coffee shop fell away, leaving only the two of them in silence. It feels different to usual, the silence warm and inviting. She hears the other girl clear her throat, and her cheeks flush as she realised she entirely missed what the other girl said, lost in her own fantasies.

“S...sorry. Could you repeat, please? It’s slightly loud in here so I didn’t catch that.” Her voice is soft as she looks up at the other girl, she hopes she’s loud enough to be heard. She does frequently miss stuff, her hearing isn’t the best and she does have to focus a lot to hear people sometimes.

“Could I sit here? This is the only free seat. I’ve got stuff to do anyway, so I won’t bother you.” Alecto nodded at the other girl, her words appeared to have entirely dried up in her throat. She took a sip of the drink in front of her.

She heard the chair slide out in response, the other girl sitting down. She tried to focus on the essay before her, but kept losing track mid sentence. Abby was amazing and all, but her essays were so in-depth that she regularly lost track. Why does Abby even ask you to read her stuff, anyway? You’re doing medicine, not criminology like her, and she’s so talented that she doesn’t technically need a second opinion.

The pretty girl sitting across from her definitely wasn’t helping her focus in the slightest. She hoped this wasn’t just another ‘Alecto crush’ as Abby termed them. A crush would easily consume her and she never would act on it, but Abby was hardly any better herself, she definitely had some variety of the weird crush thing. She had had a crush on her best friend for 3 and something years now, and was too scared to ruin what she had with Abby. They had met during sixth form, and the friendship only grew. She had needed another person there after the disastrous events of the years before that, and being trapped in a very toxic friendship group.

“I’m...I’m Alecto by the way. I know this is a weird ask, but would you mind reading over something for me? My best friend asked me to read an essay for her so she could have a second opinion and I’m struggling to process it, mainly as it’s not my speciality. It’s okay if the answer’s no, I’ll figure it out eventually, I think.” She asked, looking over her laptop at the girl across from her. Why do you keep stuttering? That’s supposed to have been in the past years ago! Alecto fiddled with her hair, curling a chunk of it around her fingers.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Marisol. I’d be fine with checking over it for you, that doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I was only planning to read a book, anyway, so there’s nothing urgent for me to complete.” Marisol smiled at her, resting her hand on the table. How lucky! Yay. That’s such a pretty name.

She scrolled back up to the top of the essay then handed her laptop over to Marisol.

“That’s such a pretty name! I hope you have more luck with it than I did, maybe as I’m doing medicine myself, Abby’s essays are more difficult for me to get my head around as I’m not as familiar with the course content as she is. I’m not sure why she doesn’t just get her course mates to check through it for her, but I don’t mind that much.” She explained. You’re talking so much! Wow. What’s gotten into you?

Marisol nodded, and tapped her chin with a finger as she scanned the essay. Alecto retrieved a book from her bag to pass the time, but she kept spacing out as she was reading. Uh oh. This is definitely another ‘Alecto crush’. Yet this one is more difficult to explain, how has it happened this quickly? It did do that with Abby too, but that’s only twice in a realm of crushes.

She was finding it difficult to keep her hands still, she caught hold of her bracelet and started gently spinning it. She didn’t want to be irritating, so it was important to keep herself from fiddling or doing anything that made too much noise. Using her phone did cross her mind, but she didn’t want to appear rude.

“I think I got it. It’s exploring some of the different ways that the criminal justice system needs improvement and suggestions on how to do that. The writing itself isn’t overly accessible to people who aren’t studying something related to the criminal justice system though. I’m studying law myself, which definitely helped in understanding it, there’s definitely specific terminology which probably comes across like code to those unfamiliar with it. It’s a good essay though, people familiar with criminology or law would definitely find it accessible.” Marisol explained. “You’d think she might have helped you out a little terminology wise or at least sent you over some notes of hers. Are all of her essays slightly difficult for you to access?” In her focus, her brow was furrowed, and she was looking over her glasses at Alecto. She had a notebook open next to her with a series of neat and organised notes about the essay.

“Yes, you’re right there. It’s always confused me slightly how she asks me to read over stuff for her instead of her course mates or something, but I don’t mind that much. It does give me a good puzzle. I’ve always struggled more with feedback for her, but she’s always good with testing me if I need it, so I do it as a favour to her.” She explained. It gives you an excuse to spend time with her too. She’s your best friend, after all. Even if you’re doing completely different courses and aren’t even living in the same halls. You’re scared of losing her as you do care about her a lot.

“I also wrote a set of notes on it for you to go from in terms of feedback. You can rewrite them if you like, but I wanted to give you an extra hand. You’re a good person, though, it’s nice of you to do that for your friend. I don’t mind helping you further in the future, either.” She handed the laptop back to Alecto, placing her notebook next to it. Alecto scanned the notes, opening a separate document and typing them up. Wait. She wants to spend more time with you? But why? You’re not the most interesting person.

“R...really? You want to help me more? Thank you, though. You...you actually want to spend more time with me? I’m not used to people saying that, usually I do scare people off, not deliberately either.” She was more than a little bit flustered, feeling herself blush again. She wasn’t usually this much of a mess, but crushes caused her to lose all usual sensibilities. She didn’t make eye contact with Marisol, hoping desperately the other girl wasn’t playing a prank on her.

“I mean it. I’ve seen you a couple of times around campus and for some reason I feel drawn to you. That, and I want to learn how to take good photos and Abby told me you’re very talented. She gushes about you all the time. We’re on the same floor in halls, so we became quite close. I appear to have ended up with a group of flatmates from my worst nightmares, apart from Abby, so we’ve just bonded through that.” Marisol explained. To Alecto’s surprise, she seemed serious, and was actually blushing. How can being around you of all people make someone blush? She knows Abby, so that’s something positive, Abby doesn’t tend to be friends with just anyone.

Marisol reached over the table and took Alecto’s hand in hers, rubbing the back of her hand in a circle. She felt herself relax, aware that she was likely blushing even more. She felt a warm feeling that was more than a little bit unfamiliar to her.

“Okay. I’ll teach you then. We probably need to exchange numbers or something, maybe social media?” She retrieved her phone from her bag, feeling Marisol let go of her other hand. She clicked onto her Instagram account, handing her phone over to Marisol. When she was done, she took her phone back, feeling it buzz with a message. She checked it, finding herself unable to concentrate fully and having to reread it multiple times. Her mind was consumed by a strange warm feeling that was unfamiliar to her.

[96thdayofrage]

Legislators on the Public Health Committee listened to nearly 12 hours of public testimony, primarily focused on a bill to declare racism a public health crisis in the state of Connecticut. The hearing on Wednesday took up a few bills, but mainly centered on Senate Bill 1, An Act Equalizing Comprehensive Access to Mental, Behavioral and Physical Health Care in Response to the Pandemic. 

The bill declares that in the state of Connecticut, racism is recognized as a public health crisis and, if passed, would establish a Truth and Reconciliation Commission to examine racial disparities in public health across state and local government. 

“We know that racism is a public health crisis because whenever there is a public health crisis, it does affect racial minorities and lower-income communities greater than anyone else,” said Sen. Martin Looney, President Pro Tempore of the State Senate. “One of the most striking aspects of the pandemic is the disproportionate toll it’s taken on communities of color. These outcomes are not a result of the disease itself, but inequalities in the social determinants of health.” 

The commission will study institutional racism in public health law, and attempt to quantify racial disparities in health outcomes in hospitals, long-term care facilities, and the criminal justice system. It will also examine racial disparities in access to clean environment and healthy food,  and look at zoning restrictions and housing disparities. The commission will then develop legislative proposals to address these disparities, and deliver the report to the General Assembly next year. 

Both the Connecticut State Medical Society and the Connecticut Hospital Association submitted testimony in support of the bill.

The Connecticut Hospital Association wrote that the organization “supports the broad-based approach set forth in this section, recognizing that, while racism is a fundamental cause of poor health, the problem requires a broad perspective that looks beyond hospitals and healthcare providers, even while recognizing that providers are essential participants in the development of solutions.”

State Rep. Whit Betts, R-Bristol, on a number of occasions asked those testifying to clarify why racism is a public health crisis. 

“Something like a pandemic or mental illness, I think that clearly is a public health crisis, but I don’t understand systematic racism,” Betts said. “Clearly there is racism, clearly there are people who are not being served, but it’s not just minorities, and clearly our goal collectively should be to help everybody regardless of color, income, etc. I just don’t understand how this is a public health crisis.” 

State Sen. Saud Anwar, D-South Windsor, a co-sponsor of the bill and doctor of internal medicine, said that “it’s pretty clear that we have a public health crisis with respect to the racial bias in some of the policies, and we are going to be able to help some of the communities that have been left behind, but to suggest that when we do that we are taking resources from another community was probably not accurate.” 

State legislatures in Minnesota and Virginia have both declared racism a public health crisis, and here in Connecticut, town councils in 20 different municipalities, including New London, Colchester, and Hartford have also passed similar declarations. 

Black and Latino residents of Connecticut are less likely to be insured than white residents, and are more likely to die before reaching adulthood, according to a report from Connecticut Voices for Children.

The bill also establishes a task force to study racial inequities in maternal mortality, which will make recommendations to eliminate racial inequities in maternal mortality. Hospitals will be required to provide implicit bias training to staff members who interact with pregnant women. The legislation also directs the state’s Commissioner of Public Health to increase outreach in an effort to improve early detection of breast cancer among young women of color. Nationally, Black mothers die at three to four times the rate of white mothers, according to the CDC. 

Katharine Morris, a graduate student of public policy at the University of Connecticut, shared her mother’s experience of feeling ignored by healthcare professionals when she was giving birth. State Sen. Heather Somers, R-Groton, asked what about that experience was specific to her racial background. 

“Groton is pretty diverse, we have people from all over, all different backgrounds, and it’s been interesting to talk to them about the bias in healthcare,” Somers said. “Some of the comments that I’ve gotten, regardless of what your skin color is or what your background is, sometimes the maternity nurses are just not nice. Was the experience feeling dismissed, or not listened to? Because I’m hearing that consistently across all different races.” 

Morris shared that her mother, a Jamaican immigrant, specifically felt dismissed by white doctors, and had a much better experience when treated by a Jamaican healthcare provider. 

“I lived in Ansonia and Trumbull before moving to Bridgeport, from this I learned how my zip code could dictate my health and my quality of life,” Morris said. “Not only did my education suffer, my access to healthy food, clean air, unpolluted nature, and opportunities suffered as well. Where there are more people who look like me, I have a lower chance of living a healthy and prosperous life. This is not caused by the character of the city or my fellow residents, but rather the oppression we endure due to the color of our skin.” 

Rep. Lezlye Zupkus, R-Cheshire, questioned whether the government had any power to legislate away racism. 

“I cannot write a bill to say love one another, love your children, love your family, be a better family unit, we can’t legislate those things,” Zupkus said. “I would love to write a law that we all love our children and take care of our kids and have better family units and all of those things, it just won’t happen. We legislate the speed limit, and who drives 55?” 

State Sen. Marilyn Moore, D-Trumbull responded that while “you can’t legislate love, you can start to acknowledge that there is a problem and you are willing to deal with it.” 

For Weruche George, a member of the Hamden Human Rights and Relations Commission, the declaration on its own was still meaningful, even if legislators cannot force individuals not to be racist. 

“This declaration will spur Connecticut to recognize racism as the public health crisis it is, and address the problem by changing the way our state government works and embedding anti-racist principles in decision-making processes,” George testified. “Systemic racism is a social determinant of health itself, and also produces inequities, from disproportionately high Black maternity and infant death rates, inequities in cancer, asthma, heart and lung diseases, to police brutality, environmental racism and unequal access to healthcare.”

According to Tekisha Everette, executive director of Health Equity Solutions, quantifying disparities across the state is a vital first step to making meaningful change. 

“The cumulative impact of these barriers to health is invisible unless we evaluate and seek to address health disparities,” Everette said. “We cannot address a problem we are unwilling to acknowledge.”