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rovelae · 3 years

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Behind the Scenes of “Hologram”

Today marks exactly one year since I posted arguably my most popular fic. “Hologram” is a postgame Saiouma one-shot about escapism, loneliness, and running away from the past. I put a lot of myself into this fic and I’m blown away by all the love it’s received, not only on AO3 but in Discord servers and other social media. All that excitement made me keep thinking about it, so I thought I’d share a (very self-indulgent) behind-the-scenes of sorts about how I wrote it, as well as what I think of the story.

This essay will contain spoilers for the whole fic, so if you’d like to read it first, you can find it here. Of course, if the tags scare you off, that’s valid, but you might want to skip this post too since I’ll be quoting it throughout (so, just to be safe, expect the warnings I’ve posted on AO3 to apply here too).

If you’re a Lorde fan you’ll recognize the lyrics in the fic summary – “Nothing’s wrong when nothing’s true,” from “Buzzcut Season.” The inspiration for this fic came to me while I was on my way to an early shift at work, and I needed a good song in my head to give me the will to live for the next eight hours. Not sure why I chose that song in particular, but maybe part of it is because I like imagining stories to go along with the songs I listen to, like AMVs playing in my head, and I’d never been able to pin down exactly what this song reminded me of.

The mood of the music is really what compelled me – there’s something lonely about it, and the lyrics sound like the singer’s trying to convince herself that everything’s okay even when all evidence points otherwise. There are “explosions on TV”, and “The men up on the news / They try to tell us all that we will lose,” but “we live beside the pool / Where everything is good.” Despite everything going wrong, despite the notes of fear creeping into the pre-chorus, the character will “play along… in a hologram with you” and “never go home again.”

From there, it was an easy jump to “postgame Saiou” and that was that.

There’s a cloud of seagulls hovering in the air around him, and a dozen or so more standing just out of reach, staring him down with beady black eyes. Kokichi takes a slice of bread from the loaf he’s holding and tosses it to one of the birds, watches it catch it and stumble under the weight, watches its head bob as it tries to swallow the whole thing at once. It gets remarkably far before four other birds descend on it, shrieking wildly.

“Mine, mine, mine,” he mumbles into his folded arms, wondering if Shuichi would get the reference.

He really wishes Shuichi was here.

Kokichi upends the rest of the loaf of bread onto the sidewalk and laughs at the resulting chaos until his chest aches.

To start off, I wanted to create the same lonely mood from “Buzzcut Season” in Kokichi’s simulation. He’s not exactly trapped there, but he’s refusing to leave, because as long as he’s on the fake Jabberwock Island, he can pretend the killing game never happened. The trade-off to that escapism is that the only people he can talk to are the NPCs, who aren’t complex enough to be remotely interesting to him, and Usami, who… well, tries her best, but is more of an informational / moderation program and can’t offer him what a therapist could.

The only thing Kokichi has to look forward to is Shuichi, who he’s convinced is an extremely lifelike computer program rather than the real thing, because the real Shuichi would definitely hate him for everything that happened during the killing game. He’s so locked into this line of logic that he doesn’t let himself consider that Shuichi has forgiven him – he doesn’t even have a good answer for why the Future Foundation wouldn’t just keep the supposed Shuichi AI on indefinitely, believing it’s their way of baiting him into leaving the simulation.

It’s not a healthy or sustainable lifestyle in the slightest, but Kokichi stubbornly refuses to do anything but wander the islands aimlessly, passing the time with ice cream and feeding seagulls until the next time he can see Shuichi.

He dreams that DICE is here in the simulation with him, smiling and carefree as they explore the weird music venue. One of them has gotten the karaoke machine working, and another found a box of kazoos and maracas in the back room. Kokichi already pities anyone unfortunate enough to walk by the building tonight.

“Not going to sing, Joker?” one of his DICE asks (over the sound of their youngest member shrieking through seven kazoos at once), sitting on the bench next to him.

“Some games are more fun to watch than play,” he answers, leaning back on his hands and sighing.

“Like a killing game.”

The warm dream-atmosphere turns cold then, and Kokichi’s head snaps over to look at him—but his brother is gone and Kaito’s looking back at him instead, blood in his teeth and face ashen pale.

“You... we don’t have to do this, man,” Kaito says, but it’s a lie and they both know it, and he doesn’t want to look behind him because he knows the machine’s looming over him with its unyielding steel and slow slow slow descent—

“You’re not real,” he snaps at dream-Kaito, who doesn’t respond except to lift him up again. “Nothing’s real, none of—PUT ME DOWN! LET GO OF ME! DON’T PUT ME BACK IN THERE!”

“Death is more mercy than you deserve,” Kaito says, and Kokichi claws and bites and kicks his way out of Kaito’s grasp like a wild animal, only to end up in front of a prison cell full of—

DICE, his beloved DICE, trapped and hurt and afraid, bloodied and beaten and helpless.

“Why didn’t you save us, boss?” says his second-in-command, clutching the bars with bleeding hands. “Why didn’t you do more? Now we’re all dead and it’s because of you.”

Moments like this are my reference to Buzzcut Season’s pre-chorus, where the not-okay starts to creep into the illusion. Despite Kokichi’s valiant efforts to forget, he’s still dealing with the aftermath of seeing his family hurt and in danger, watching his friends die, orchestrating the deaths of two of them, being killed himself— and then being told every bit of it was made up to entertain an audience who sees nothing wrong with that picture. Running away is not the way to heal from trauma, and one day soon it’s all bound to come crashing down around him.

“Do you know what this … island paradise represents, Kokichi?” [Hinata] asks, and Kokichi’s really not in the mood for a lecture but he continues anyway. “Jabberwock Island … was the setting for the fiftieth season of Danganronpa. The golden anniversary, they called it. It was my season.”

Kokichi hunches over, hugging his arms over his torso and stifiling a scream. He does not want to think about this right now—

“They wanted it to be the best season of all, which, unfortunately for us, meant it was also the bloodiest,” Hinata says. “Twice as many participants, deadly traps hidden across each of the islands— they even changed the way the motives worked, like when they told Fuyuhiko to cut out his own eye so Peko could have a quick death instead of suffering for days.”

“Do I look like your therapist, porcupine-head?” Kokichi hisses. A sharp pain is pounding into his skull, and there’s a bitter, metallic taste at the back of his throat. A taste like poison and blood.

“There was so much going on that the simulation malfunctioned,” Hinata says. “When people died, their Ultimate talents downloaded themselves into me. I’m told that the stress of so many personality grafts came close to liquefying my frontal lobe. I’m lucky I woke up at all… especially considering more than half of the others didn’t.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Kokichi grates out through the static building in his head. If he opens his eyes, will he see the beach or the dull chrome of the machine closing in on him?

“Because I know how much you want to forget about what happened,” Hinata says. “Believe me, I get it.”

….

“These things that happened to us… we can’t erase them, no matter how much we want to. Some things have to be remembered.”

I’d mostly like to leave Hajime’s season up to interpretation, but there are a couple things I wanted to say about it. I imagine Danganronpa is like the Hunger Games in that it’d go all out for big anniversaries. So, there were twice as many participants for the Jabberwock Island beatdown that was probably subtitled “Bloodbath Bay” or something equally appealing. The game’s formula changed from a focus on the mystery and the trials to “look at all these kids massacring each other a la Lord of the Flies,” and since the VR system wasn’t equipped to handle that many people and their deaths, it malfunctioned, giving Hajime way too many Ultimate talents and putting half the cast into comas from which they never woke up.

Viewers either absolutely loved or absolutely hated this season, depending on whether they were DR fans because of the “blood n’ guts” factor or the “mystery and psychological thriller” aspect. Team Danganronpa faced quite a bit of backlash for actually causing the real-life deaths of half its participants, but were able to weasel their way out of serious legal repercussions because of the waivers the participants had signed beforehand (plus a lot of bribery and falling back on their longstanding popularity). So, the cast of Season 50 failed to end the killing game, but helped provide great evidence for the “Danganronpa is morally wrong” argument.

Hajime works as a victim liaison for the Future Foundation and has been trying to take down Danganronpa since he got out of it. He’s like that in a few of my fics, actually; I like the idea of Hajime acting as a big brother of sorts to the V3 cast. It’s especially entertaining to imagine his interactions with Kokichi— though maybe not so much in Hologram, since to Kokichi he’s a representation of the past he’s trying so desperately to forget and the future he refuses to acknowledge.

“SHUT UP!” He launches himself at Hinata, his hands wrapping around the other man’s throat as he uses his momentum to slam him to the ground. “SHUT! UP!”

“Ko— ghk—” Hinata coughs, eyes wide with surprise, but aside from moving his hands up to grip Kokichi’s wrists, he doesn’t seem all that worried about fighting back.

The thought only fuels Kokichi’s rage until he’s choking Hinata so hard his knuckles are white. “If you want me out of this simulation so badly, you can kill me,” he snarls. “I’m never waking up! I’m never leaving, do you UNDERSTAND ME?”

Hinata grimaces, the outline of his avatar flickering, but he still doesn’t struggle, and Kokichi hates him all the more for it, despises him with a seething malice that festers low in his stomach. He wonders distantly if he’d actually kill this man in real life. Or if he’d be able to stop himself, feeling like this.

Kokichi’s breakdown here is more out of fear than anger. Like I mentioned, Kokichi sees Hajime as another piece of what’s hurt him, and no matter how Hajime tries to help, Kokichi will always remember Danganronpa whenever he sees him.

Warm yellow-orange light casts a relaxed, cozy glow over the dining hall. It’s an ambience compounded by the flickering candles on the table, which seems overly idyllic, but Kokichi will let it slide because of the adorable way Shuichi flushed when he noticed them as they sat down. Well, if he’s being honest, everything about Shuichi right now is adorable, from the way his hair keeps falling into his eyes to the way he’s nervously fiddling wth his chopsticks. Kokichi wishes he could keep staring at him forever.

Ah, not… not in a weird way, though, just… because Shuichi’s beautiful, and when Kokichi looks at him he can forget everything bad that’s ever happened, can create some new and brighter world to exist in.

This is an idea I wish I’d had room to explore a bit more in the story— that is, just how far Kokichi will go to pretend everything’s fine. I thought about making him border on delusional, like having him talk to people who aren’t there or forget what’s actually happening around him because he’s so lost in his fiction-within-a-fiction. It would have creeped Shuichi out a whole lot.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much room for that past the plot I’d already nailed down, so I focused on his loneliness and escapism instead. I do touch on it later in this scene, though— the couple paragraphs where he slips into fantasizing about being a phantom thief having a surreptitious meeting with his detective under the not-so-subtle supervision of his DICE. There would have been a lot more of that if I’d gone with the ‘delusion’ stylistic choice, to the point where even the readers would be confused about what’s real. Maybe I’ll look into writing something similar in a future story.

Eventually, Shuichi sets down his bowl and looks away with a little sigh, and Kokichi clenches his teeth because that’s the sigh he does when it’s time for that conversation.

“Um… Kokichi?”

Kokichi’s only response is to exhale the breath he’d been holding in a quiet hiss.

“I-I know you don’t want to, but… but I really need to talk to you about something,” Shuichi says. “Please?”

“My Mr. Detective can talk about whatever he’d like!” Kokichi says with a lilt to his tone that makes it sound more sarcastic than he wants it to. He takes the last bite of curry and wishes that it burns hot enough to hurt.

“It’s about Kaito.”

This more serious part of the date scene is meant to reflect the little bridge in “Buzzcut Season”:

“Cola with the burnt-out taste

I’m the one you tell your fears to

There’ll never be enough of us.”

It’s a part of the song that sounds especially bittersweet to me, a bit of self-awareness between the insistence that everything’s okay.

Really all I think I managed was to reference it when Kokichi’s internal dialogue comments on his drink being “so sweet it tastes burnt” and then later not tasting like anything. But hopefully the mood’s still there.

“Tell him… that I have nothing against him,” he says.

“That’s … not a lie?” Shuichi presses.

Kokichi shakes his head idly, still not raising his gaze. “I wanted to wreck the killing game and he wanted to save his friend. We both got what we wanted. I’d say the end more than justifies the means.”

Was that a lie?

(I don’t want to die Shuichi I’m sorry I’m sorry save me Shuichi please I’m sorry ithurtsmakeitstop—)

His fingers tighten into clawlike shapes, nails digging sharply into his forearms.

I really don’t think Kokichi would have anything against Kaito, even if here he’s not being completely honest with how much he’s affected by what happened. It wouldn’t make sense to him to hate Kaito for something he himself proposed, but I think there’d still be a subconscious barrier between them. Too much history.

“Don’t go, Shuichi, I’m so sorry, I— that was so dumb, what I said, please don’t be sad anymore.” He’s not sure if he can’t breathe because of the exertion of running or because of the hysteria boiling over in his head. “Please don’t go, I didn’t mean to hurt you— please don’t leave, Shuichi, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, Kokichi….” Shuichi’s tone is strange, soft and pitying, like he sees something Kokichi doesn’t, and he shakes his head slowly as more tears follow the paths of the others.

Kokichi goes to his knees, ready to grovel if that’s what it takes, but Shuichi follows him down, closing his other hand over Kokichi’s, and then they’re both crying and he doesn’t know why, and all he can do is repeat a mantra of I’m sorry and hold on as tight as he can.

It’s horrible. Shuichi’s horrible. Shuichi’s wonderful, and kind and lovely and perfect and Kokichi hates him, Kokichi adores him, and it doesn’t matter because Shuichi’s not actually here but Kokichi doesn’t want to be alone, just let me pretend some more, please, please let me have this—

“I’ll… I’ll stay,” Shuichi says at last. “I can stay a while longer.”

You shouldn’t, Kokichi wants to say, but his mouth won’t obey him. You shouldn’t stay if you don’t want to. I don’t deserve having you here. I’m not worth your mercy.

But there on the bridge, crying tears of relief, he soaks up as much mercy as he can get and hopes it’s enough to drown him.

I wanted to create a contrast between them that highlights just how the isolation and trauma Kokichi’s experiencing has affected him. He has an almost unhealthy reliance on Shuichi as “the only thing that makes this world bearable,” and panics when faced with the prospect of being alone again so soon. Part of why Shuichi’s crying is because he’s realized the extent of Kokichi’s desperation. It’s not that he thinks Kokichi’s apology is insincere, but that he’s hardly heard him apologize for anything before, so Kokichi going this far has him realizing how bad things really are.

The door rumbles and slides open when they approach, revealing the bright light of the log-out point that took Shuichi away every time, that would wake Kokichi up in his real body if he walked into it. Shuichi stops just a step away from it, biting his lip as if searching for something to say, but before he can find it, Kokichi reaches out to tug at his sleeve.

“Shuichi?” he says, distant as the waves on the beach that he can still hear if he listens closely enough. Shuichi turns back toward him. “Before you go, can I be selfish one more time?”

“Huh…?”

Shuichi doesn’t move when Kokichi steps closer, reaches up to ghost his fingertips over Shuichi’s jaw and around the back of his neck. He lets Kokichi tilt his head downward, lets him hover inches away, close enough to feel their breath mingle in the night air. Kokichi pauses there to give him the chance to pull away. He doesn’t.

So Kokichi closes his eyes and the distance between them.

That last line is a ZEUGMA! It’s a literary device where one word refers to two more in a different way. A popular example is the hyenas’ line “Our teeth and ambitions are bared” from The Lion King. It’s my favorite grammatical trick and I’d love to see more of it in fanfic.

Slowly, he slides his hand down to Shuichi’s shoulder, using it as leverage to push himself away. That hurts even more. He can’t seem to open his eyes, and he feels so weakened, breathless, fragile. Cracked open, hollowed out.

When he finally does open his eyes, Shuichi’s are wide with some mix of astonishment and a dozen other emotions. Kokichi bows his head, taking a deep breath to ground himself. “Sorry,” he whispers. “I just wanted to know.”

“Kokichi,” Shuichi breathes, like a bullet through his heart.

“Goodbye, Shuichi,” Kokichi says, and shoves him into the light.

Shuichi’s little yelp of surprise cuts off abruptly as he falls through the door, vanishing into the glow, and all too soon, Kokichi’s alone again in a dream that suddenly seems far too vast. Alone, with the faintest taste of Shuichi’s lips still lingering on his own.

And he thinks, It was enough just to know you.

It’s a lie.

Nothing to say here except that this is my favorite scene and I’m so happy with how it turned out.

Fake sun rises over fake ocean, fake seagulls glide through fake sky while fake wind tousles fake palm fronds. Kokichi lies on his stomach in the fake grass and talks to his fake family in the fake notebook. Gives them fake names and runs through everything he remembers about them. Apologizes, over and over, wishes he could hug each of them goodbye one last time. Wonders if it would be more painful to die or to never have existed at all.

He leaves the notebook of his memories on the seat of one of the Ferris wheel cars on the fourth island, because one time he promised them they’d steal the London Eye together.

He buys a can of fake soda from the fake convenience store on the first island and sits on the fake beach watching the fake waves. Wonders when he’d hit the end of the simulation if he started swimming, or if he’d drown first.

White sand, blue sea, bluer sky. Washed out, like an amateur watercolor painting.

He opens the soda can and raises it to his mouth, but … even the thought of drinking it makes him sick to his stomach. He sets it down in the sand and flicks it over, watching the bubbly liquid run down and sink into the sand. The color’s all wrong, like blood streaked against a metal floor.

He walks the fake streets of the fifth island, passing fake skyscrapers and fake commuters and their fake conversations, until he finally stops outside the factory he’s never been able to bring himself to go into. Smells like oil, and metal and machines and he can hear the sounds and he’s immediately back in the hangar, dizzy on adrenaline and desperation and leaning heavily on Kaito so he doesn’t keel over and die then and there. Kaito says something about how maybe he should sit down for a minute, and Kokichi didn’t agree back then but he does now, goes down on all fours and dry heaves.

When his vision solidifies and he can stop gasping for breath, he sits up and presses his back against the factory wall, covering his ears and hiding his face in his knees. Tries to convince himself not to imagine Shuichi’s there with him, holding his hand again, promising everything’s going to be okay.

“I’ve got you. No one’s going to hurt you anymore,” or maybe, “Breathe with me, it’ll be over soon. You’re safe now.”

I love you.

He laughs until there’s nothing left in his lungs. He called these little daydreams obsession, before, but now they just seem sick and insane.

I wanted to indicate throughout this scene that Kokichi’s gotten substantially worse. Instead of halfheartedly interacting with the NPCs or finding something to spend time doing, he’s aimlessly wandering the islands, focused on how fake all of it is. Not even talking to his sketches of DICE can make him feel better. The suicidal ideation starts to slip in even if he doesn’t realize it— a fixation on wondering what death is like, purposefully triggering himself by walking by the factory….

The thing I want to talk about most though is the italicized I love you. I left it outside of quotation marks and dialogue tags on purpose because I wanted it to be ambiguous as to who’s saying it. If it’s Kokichi’s line, it’s sudden and almost out of place, like he couldn’t hold back from thinking it anymore. But it could be Shuichi saying it, too. Since it’s outside quotation marks, unlike the previous dream-Shuichi lines, it’s more vague, almost a whisper in Kokichi’s thoughts— like he can barely bring himself to imagine it and even feels guilty doing so, because there’s no way it could possibly be real.

Which do you think?

Eh, I don’t have an answer. When I hear it in my head, they say it at the same time.

“How did you know?” he finally croaks.

Shuichi’s breathing still sounds shaky, too. “Because you said ‘goodbye,’” he says.

Kokichi finally looks up at him in a silent question.

“You never say goodbye,” Shuichi says, rubbing his sleeve over his eyes. “It’s always….”

“‘See you later,’” Kokichi finishes for him. Despite himself, a tiny huff of astonished laughter escapes him. “I didn’t even know, not until a couple of hours ago. And you figured it all out from one word?”

Shuichi bites his lip at that. “You kissed me,” he says.

Kokichi’s stomach twists and he looks away. “I said I was sorry—”

“No.” Shuichi squeezes his hand into a fist and lets it fall to thump against Kokichi’s chest, like he’s trying to knock some sense into him. “It was so honest, and vulnerable, and… and I know how much you hate showing how you really feel.” Another tiny sob catches in his throat. “And so it felt like … like something you’d do if you weren’t going to s-see me again.”

“Shuichi….” Kokichi trails off as Shuichi muffles his cries in his hand again. He’s so breathtakingly smart. There’s no one else in the world who thinks that way, no one else who could possibly be that attentive and that clever. Not a programmer, not a team of shrinks… how can an AI manage it? How is it that Shuichi always manages to take him by surprise? How can he see straight through him when he least expects it?

Kokichi’s hand reaches up to Shuichi’s cheek. Reverently traces the path of the tears falling down it.

“I wish you were real,” he confesses in a whisper.

Kokichi’s stubborn. So, so stubborn. And he’s not used to being cared about, if the way he does everything by himself is any indication. So it makes sense to me that he’ll refuse to believe anything good can happen to him even in the face of convincing evidence. He’s pretty self-hating for someone so arrogant.

Kokichi’s weak, deep down to his core, weak for this man. Already knows he’d do anything for him, and the thought is terrifying—that one person could have that much power over him, even if he doesn’t realize it.

But what if he has realized it? Couldn’t this all be an elaborate ruse, a lie he knew Kokichi would be so desperate to believe that he wouldn’t bother questioning it?

…Shuichi’s never hurt him, though. Only that one time, when he really deserved it. Shuichi wouldn’t … betray him, even for what he thinks is Kokichi’s own good. They’re… different from each other, that way.

But still….

“I’m so scared, Shuichi.” It’s barely a whisper. “I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

“You won’t be.” It’s so hard to be skeptical, lost in his eyes. “I’ll be right there with you, for as long as you want. I won’t let you feel like this anymore.”

Promise me, he wants to blurt out. Promise you’ll stay. Promise me you’ll never leave me, Shuichi, he wants to demand, but that’s wrong, that’s manipulative and selfish and everything he doesn’t want to be for Shuichi anymore.

Shuichi, of course, says it anyway.

“I promise, Kokichi.”

…

“Kiss me again,” he says. “Please?”

Shuichi leans in close, then pauses, his brow furrowing the way it does when he catches him in a lie.

“I’ll kiss you again in the real world,” Shuichi says. “Okay?”

Kokichi shakes his head. “Shuichi, please.” Please, I don’t think I can do this. Please, I don’t want to wake up to a lie. Please, one last kiss for me to remember in case it was all fake.

Shuichi reaches out to tilt his chin up and Kokichi closes his eyes, savoring every second, burning it into his memory.

Shuichi’s soft breath ghosts over his lips.

“Trust me,” he murmurs.

Kokichi’s eyes flutter back open, searching his face. Shifting him around on the white board in his head, seeing what categories he fits into this time. Weird, of course. Suspicious, maybe not. Trustworthy?

Trustworthy….

“I do trust you,” he realizes.

Kokichi’s still hesitant to accept all of this— Shuichi kissing him didn’t magically fix everything. He’ll still doubt all the way to the log-out point, but at least now he realizes that this simulation is only hurting him— that if things are to get better they’re going to have to change, too. He’s got a long way to go before he’s all right, but he’s not going to have to face it alone anymore.

And that’s a wrap!

Once again, I’m really proud of this story, and I feel like I grew as a writer because of it. There are a few things I would change if I wrote it again, but for all its flaws it’s still my baby and I like how it turned out.

Thanks again for all your support for “Hologram,” and thanks even more if you actually waded through all this nonsense of a director’s cut. It’s a huge confidence-boost to think that people liked what I wrote, and even wanted to hear what I had to say about it. If there’s any interest, I’d love to review some of my other fics here, or theorize or brainstorm or whatever else you’re into. (Ask me what Byakuya’s Thing is in my superhero AU, I dare you 😉)

I do have a WIP in my folder of bits and pieces currently titled “boy finally gets that kiss”, and it’s a post-Hologram scene from Shuichi’s point of view to just sorta… tie it all together, have them talk things over again… and kiss, of course. We’ll see if anything comes out of that.

Until next time!

#Rov talks #Hologram #Saiouma #Oumasai #Behind the scenes #Director's cut #Fanfic review

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inumaki-roll · 4 years

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hi!! could i please request mha (( deku, bakugo, todoroki, kirishima, denki, sero, shinsou, tamaki, mirio, shindo, monoma, shiggy, dabi + hawks ?? I’M SO SORRY IK THIS IS A LOT..... )) + danganronpa guys (( nagito, hajime, makoto, rantaro, shuichi, chihiro, byakuya, izuru, kazuichi, & kiibo )) with an s/o who is like tall & chubby ? they get insecure about it and really are body-insecure to the point it’s like super frustrating bc they want to express themselves through their outfits but absolutely hate clothes shopping and will break down bc of the amount of people, the clothing sizes, and being upset after trying things on... sorry this got kinda personal lol i just really am in need some comfort and would appreciate this!! thank you so much!!

hi anon !! unfortunately i don’t have writing requests open for bnha !! i’m sorry abt that !! but here are the dr ones you requested !!

- mod rantaro ✧･ﾟ: *✧

➽───────────────❥

MAKOTO NAEGI

- makoto would love it that you’re taller than him omg

- he’d be so confused on why you’re insecure abt it bc he finds it so cute

- if you can’t find anything to wear he’d let you wear his jacket if you want !!

- he would 100% ask komaru for clothing advice and she would let you borrow some of hers to avoid going to the store and being uncomfortable in the store

- she could also help you online shop !!

- if you guys were ever in the store together and you started panicking bc of insecurities, he’d immediately get you out as soon as he senses your uncomfortable

- hed hype you up if you were trying clothes on in a store i know it

- he doesn’t know much about “fashion” but i think he’d like picking out clothes for you but he’d also be nervous bc he doesn’t wanna pick out the wrong thing

➽───────────────❥

CHIHIRO FUJISAKI

- he’s also short so i think he’d think it’s so cute that you’re taller than him

- OKAY BUT. HED BE AWESOME AT FASHION ADVICE YOU CANNOT TELL ME HE ISNT.

- he literally dressed in both masculine clothes and then feminine clothes. he’d know a lot about how to dress

- he’d give timid little tips of advice it’d be so cute please

- he’d like clap for you when you try things on

- like cute little claps with the biggest smile like “y/n! you look amazing in that!”

- he’s also quite insecure so you guys would be able to comfort each other !!

- he’d always feel so worried if you got upset and would try his best to calm you down but he’d be so panicky

- i think he’d also make a website that like... gives you clothes recommendations like specifically for you

➽───────────────❥

BYAKUYA TOGAMI

- he’d be very shocked when he finds out

- like he’d be like “y/n! why are you so concerned about something so insignificant? looks do not matter, although the feelings you feel are valid. many people experience this problem as well, so you are not alone. if you wish, we can go shopping together sometime if you are comfortable with that.”

- he’d be very concerned about you and would constantly check up on you

- he’s also tall so like,,,, power couple

- he’d buy you whatever you want no matter how expensive

- he’d be very nervous if you started crying at a store, he’d pull you to the side and talk to you to calm you down

- he’d say very heartfelt things to you, and he’d really mean them

➽───────────────❥

KAZUICHI SODA

- HED BE SO CONFUSED ON WHY YOURE INSECURE

- “if y/n pretty... 🤨 why they not think so... 🤔”

- he’s the biggest simp so he thinks you look amazing in literally anything

- if you try on clothes at a store his jaw would be on the floor the entire time

- CONSTANT PRAISE AND COMPLIMENTS

- like if there’s a commercial on tv and it’s for clothes he’d look at the outfits and points to the ones that you would look good in (it’s every single outfit btw)

- he would want to try his best to help

- he’d find your height so cool too though

➽───────────────❥

NAGITO KOMAEDA

- OKAY BUT HED BE SUPER SUPER CONFUSED WHY YOURE INSECURE

- HE SEES YOU AS FLAWLESS

- he lets you take your time, he lets you call the shots when you want to go shopping so he won’t invite you bc he doesn’t wanna offend you accidentally by inviting you to go shopping with him

- i feel like he’d like immediately hug you when he found out

- like he’d be genuinely SAD that you feel that way

- he’d wrap you up in his big jacket and lay you down on the couch and hold onto you

- if you do want to go shopping he’d be willing to spend sm money

- he’d also be literally drooling over how you look the entire time too

➽───────────────❥

HAJIME HINATA

- he wouldn’t even notice

- he would have to have a flat out sign that you’re insecure

- as soon as he suspected it, he was a little hesitant to confront you

- he had no clue what to say

- but he did give you many compliments and saying that if you need something to always come to him because he will try his best to help

- if y’all ever went to the store together he’d be blushing the entire time bc he thinks you look so good bye

- he would give recommendations occasionally but when he does give recommendations they’re wicked good

➽───────────────❥

IZURU KAMUKURA

- he would immediately know and would know exactly how and when to comfort you

- when he notices that you’re having a particularly bad day, he’d drag you to lay with him and pet your hair with no words whatsoever

- he’d give the best recommendations. like they literally look perfect on you

- i think he’d also like buy you clothes without taking you to the store

- he already knows your taste in clothes and what would compliment you, he would go out and buy them for you

- he could also make clothes for you !!

- pls. imagine him sewing. why is that so cute bye

➽───────────────❥

RANTARO AMAMI

- he’s got 12 sisters, he’s used to this

- he’d know immediately as well

- but he’d confront you almost immediately

- i feel like he’d make a little plan to make you feel better

- like when he notices, he’d buy you a little “comfort sweatshirt” and a bunch of flowers and would buy a new movie so you could hang out with him and watch it together, to get your mind off of insecurities

- he’d give you a bunch of his jewelry and say they look pretty on you

- he’d let you wear his shirt too bc that shirt looks wicked comfy

➽───────────────❥

SHUICHI SAIHARA

- okay he’d also put all the clues together and know immediately

- he would not say anything about it, he doesn’t wanna make you upset

- instead, he does little things that might make you feel better

- he’d let you wear his hat while shopping, to block out other people

- he’d be very comforting and would avoid crowds of people bc that makes you uncomfortable

- if you ever complained about yourself this boy would not be having it

- “y/n!! don’t talk so bad about yourself!! you need to see how pretty i think you are!! i don’t care how tall you are, or what you look like! you’re very beautiful to me!!” then he’d realize he was kinda yelling so his voice would soften up

- “ah, y/n, i’m sorry about my tone- i d-didn’t mean to be loud. but you get what i meant. i think you a very.. pretty and i wish you would see yourself that way too.. please?”

➽───────────────❥

KIIBO

- he’d google how to help you and would be kinda shy about helping you but he knows that he needs to help you

- i feel like he’d be kinda lost on this since he’s a robot and he’s always looked the way he looks

- he would.. understand how you feel though?

- not exactly the same as how you feel but he would relate in a way because he does get teased and discriminated on for being a robot

- he’d give you little pep talks

- “y/n. as your significant other, i think it would be good for me to confront you on this subject. this subject may be a bit awkward but i hope to make you feel better about this. i have noticed you are not confident in looks, but there is no need for you to feel this way. you are extremely attractive, and it’s insignificant what you look like anyways. what matters is how you treat others. i am a robot, i an aware of that but i am not ashamed of it. this is why if you think you are lacking in something to acknowledge it and to embrace it. there are plus sides to being a robot as well as there are many plus sides to being tall like you are. if you would like to accompany me on a shopping trip i would be more than happy when you are ready.”

- i dont think people realize how short kiibo is so he’d think the way you’re taller than him is absolutely endearing

➽───────────────❥

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genesisrose74 · 4 years

Text

Christmas With the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!

Part 2: Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita

Part 1 (Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita) here!

A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!

*****

Kageyama

This boy has a secret soft side for Christmas istg

He HATES showing it to other people on his team and shit

But holy bejeezus he is mesmerized by the holiday in every way possible

Lights, sweets, snow, just like,,, the general magic of December is the most awe-inspiring thing to him

Since he is still a sporty and pretty active mofo, you decided to fuel that on your holiday-themed date as Kags had noted that he’d never gone sledding before

Your jaw was on the FLOOR when he first told you because he would 10000% enjoy the hell out of it

And so you dragged him out to this popular sledding hill that you frequented as a child and taught him what to do

Not gonna lie, he was kind of nervous

“Well you’re experienced at it. I don’t wanna mess up”

🥺🥺🥺 bubby

“You won’t, Tobio! I can already tell you’re gonna be a sledding pro”

Feels a little better after that, but he asks you to help him out for his first run down the hill

He sits behind you with his arms secured snugly around your waist and his head nestled on top of your shoulder

Which would probably seem really funny to passerby because this boy is tol and intimidating in most other situations

As soon as the sled started down, Kags tightened his grip and made this cute little yelp of surprise

But you were laughing insanely hard at the combination of going really fast downhill whilst also having your boyfriend cling to you for dear life

And then when the sled stopped safely at the bottom he started to chuckle

FULL ON, GENUINE SOUND OF ENJOYMENT

That shit is rare

Y’all stayed at that hill for half the day because it was so fun

You got him a new, very high quality athletic roller for Christmas because his old one was just not cutting it anymore

And you also gave him this really cute bracelet with a volleyball, his jersey number, and a little strawberry milk set of charms attached to it

It matched this really pretty and subtle chain he’d bought for your birthday

His blueberry eyes got all wide with affection dfjdskfjsdk—

Got super blushy and couldn’t get a handle on his speech for a fat minute

He thinks you’re the coolest person ever no I do not take criticism

Geez you’re both adorable together, ideal “stoic boy becomes warmer during the holidays around his love” movie plot and I love it

Hinata

He is all in on Christmas. Not a chance this boy doesn’t get excited as hell

Will openly go into holiday mode as soon as November is over

Was secretly already listening to his Christmas playlist before then

He is one of the sweetest gift givers, that is FACTUAL

If you want something really badly, he will take notice and get it as your present immediately

He’ll also gift you an extra thing that’s handmade 🥺

Like some pastries that his mom helped him make, or a specially made basket of soaps with your favorite scents in it

It’s absolutely adorable and you cherish those ones especially

Is happy if you simply get him something; mans doesn’t care what it is

New practice volleyball? A brand new sweatshirt? Elated either way

You had seen an advertisement for a friendly match between Japan and Poland’s men’s volleyball teams, so you waited online on the ticket sales website until the minute it opened

Spoiler alert: you got some banger seats 😌✨

Shoyo may or may not have tackled you when he read the ticket details, letting out his excited giggle (you know the one)

“I can’t believe you got these, angel! You’re coming with me, right? You’ve gotta! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Gives you sweet little kisses between each individual ‘thank you’

“Of course I’ll go with you, Sho! I’m really glad you like it!”

He will give you the brightest smile of all time — that shit makes Christmas lights pale in comparison

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

RIGHT BACK AT YOU BBY

Hold his hands to warm up together when temperatures drop pls :)))

It’s become a weekly December tradition to watch a Christmas movie with Natsu at the Hinata household

She’ll sit in your lap while the three of you are cuddled under a blanket together, and Shoyo will lace his fingers with yours all discreetly

In conclusion, I am a sucker for holiday Hinata 🥺🥺🥺

Tsukishima

His room is decorated to the very minimum simply because his mom and brother had insisted on him being festive

You know those holiday instrumentals that are really calming and jazzy and stuff? Yeah, that’s the only Christmas music he will tolerate in his house

While he’s still got his usual icy demeanor, this blond bitch does get slightly less snippy with the Karasuno boys

Is always on the nose with getting you the exact thing you wanted for a present

Like,,, TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL

You don’t even have to bring that shit up beforehand, he just KNOWS

“Tsukki, how did you—?”

“It’s pretty obvious, with the way that one ad kept showing up on your phone.”

b r u h

How does he pay such good attention without even letting on??

As for his own present, you’ll usually get him two: one gag gift and one more serious gift

His dino plush collection size is partly due to the former’s contributions this time of year

Yes the dinos have names

You exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve with all the team (you made him go) and he saved your more serious one for last

It was a scarf that you’d gotten custom made, which had a Spotify code knitted into the fabric

Scanning the code opened the app to a playlist you’d created especially for him

He got pretty quiet when figuring it out and scrolling through the playlist

Would let out a certified Tsukki Nose Exhale™ when he came across certain songs

The more subdued reaction was expected because it’s Tsukishima

His little chuckles and warmer eyes were enough of a giveaway to tell you he very much enjoyed your gift

But on the walk home, he took the scarf and wrapped it around you both, and then brought his arm around your waist

“Thank you.”

You deadass almost combusted because it was so unexpected??

“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, Kei”

Way to respond calm and collected 😌👍

But on the inside your body was in freak out mode

He wears the scarf all the time jdfsklfjdsk

Yamaguchi

Take the most tooth rotting fluff you could imagine

And then double that and put a fucking cherry on top

That’s the equivalent of what Christmas is like with Yama Yama

Y’all are like kids in a candy store — literally

For your Christmas dates it’s all about sweets and shared giggles, so frequent trips to the candy and baking isles of the grocery store is a must

Making gingerbread houses, peppermint tasting (mostly trying those different and wild ass candy cane flavors), you name it and it’s there

Stomach aches? I don’t know her

Yeah you do but they go away with enough butterfly kisses 🥰

Tadashi is exceptionally good at decorating gingerbread houses for whatever reason

He put a poll on his instagram between yours and his final products and he won by a landslide

It’s not like yours was necessarily bad, more like he’s just an icing master

You also might have eaten too many gumdrops which left your rooftop lacking in ✨spice✨

But it’s okay because Tadashi donated some of his leftovers to you

He’s such a sweetheart uwu

Please for the love of everything get him something heartfelt as his present

You know those long distance bracelets for couples?

Basically if your s/o taps the icon on the bracelet it’ll send a little vibration to the other person’s as a notice that you’re thinking about them

This boy seeks constant reassurance, and you love to give him his deserved love and validation, so it was the perfect present

It takes a second for him to figure out what it is, but after reading the directions and testing it out, the most adorable smile erupted on his face

And then since you already had yours on, he tapped the little icon again with a giggle

“Hey there”

It becomes common habit to tap it at least once every couple hours

GOD HE IS SO CUTE

He is just so soft this time of year, give him all the love and he will return it tenfold ☺️

Kinoshita

This boy is absolutely an awkward cutie and an avid romantic

Give him the cliches and he will eat em up, no doubt

It naturally gets more apparent around the holidays

He’ll take you on pretty winter walks, give you lots of little gifts (while blushing a hell of a lot), and is just a professional at stumbling upon some mistletoe

Wow wonder how it got there, Hisashi

He’s quite a bit more confident when simply alone with you than in a crowded space

And that definitely shows when he takes you out on a secluded sleigh ride around town

Yeah you heard me

A fuckin’ sleigh ride

Horses and blankets and everything

Don’t even ask how he managed to pull it off, because he loves watching the cogs turn in your head and simply will not give you a straight answer

Of course there’s the nice driver guy who’s there, but in the back alone Kinoshita’s confidence goes 📈📈

Lots of flirting, tons of skimmed touches and shared giggles throughout the ride

I legitimately simp really hard for him

Anyways it was a gorgeous ride through town and super fun

On Christmas Eve you both exchange gifts together and tbh whatever you got him will leave him happy and flustered regardless

But when he opens the wrapping paper to find an entire set of vintage VHS tapes, he’s stunned

He owns a VHS (actually canon!) and honestly loves it to death, and the fact that you’d get him tapes of pretty high quality for his collection meant a lot

Gosh he’s so underrated but a definite sweetheart, give him all the holiday love

Narita

Another underrated bby 🥺

He’s so chill and is pretty open to anything during the holidays, so long as he gets to spend ample time with you, his friends, and his family

Definitely more of an indoor person despite being accepting of most situations

Hence why you thought a cute little indoor winter picnic would be right up his alley

Which it absolutely was 😌✨ nice work

You’d made plans while in secret communications with his family members about the whole thing

He’d been pretty stressed lately with trying to handle his schoolwork, while also helping out others with theirs

Despite being a wonderful tutor, it was clearly becoming a bit overwhelming as he tried to grapple with so much at once

So when he came home one day to find a pristine house with you settled on a blanket in his living room, he was quite surprised

There’s a cheese plate, soda cans in a cute ice box, sandwiches, snacks, a presparked fireplace — you and his family went all out

Really adorable I cannot lie

“I thought you said you were going gift shopping today?”

“I might have maybe lied :P”

So he gives the sweetest little smile and sits across from you

Y’all stay there and talk for hours

After finally getting through everything previously laid out on the blanket spread, you slid him a little rectangular box that he looked at curiously

“Already? I haven’t wrapped yours yet!”

“Mine can wait a bit! Just open yours”

And so he does, and you watch with a face-splitting grin as he looks down in awe

You got tickets to see his favorite rock band in concert while they were on tour

He sprung onto you and pulled you into the tightest hug ever

“Holy shit you’re the best I love you so much how do you get even more loveable every day—!?!l”

It’s a jumble of words but you’re able to put it together and it makes you giggle

He deadass sprints upstairs to go get your gift and make sure that you feel as equally appreciated as he does

In simple words: wholesome holiday sweetness 🥰

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tsuumu · 4 years

Text

hq boys and their part time jobs.

yet another unseries headcanon post made by yours truly! unlike my last one which you can find here, i won’t be involving every single major hq character so that’s just a heads up!! i can’t always envision stuff fully with every single person...

kageyama tobio: this boy thought that applying to work part-time at a sports shop would be fitting ‘cause of his love for volleyball, completely unaware that this would involve way too much social interaction and tolerance???? like he thought he’d just have to look like someone who does sports and occasionally restock yoga mats but these loud ass kids are coming up to him asking for this that and the other for sports he’s never heard of. suddenly he regrets the entire thing. plus, he has no idea how to use the cash register and it’s his worse nightmare to ring up items without wanting to stomp a hole into it to get the customer’s change.

hinata shoyo: shoyo went straight for the pet shelter because he’s in love with playing with the little puppies. this boy will full on roll around with them, stuff them under his shirt so their heads poke out and just.. intergrate and become one of them... the doggies love him so much n always clamber to sit on his lap because hinata treats them with so much love and kindness!! customers looking for pets often joke about taking him home bc he’s just as excitable and friendly as the actual dogs. he’s also really good at convincing people on the fence to get a pet and explaining their individual personalities because he knows them so well :(

nishinoya yuu: he said: supermarket assistant so he could ride around on the carts, intimidates literally every customer with his ungodly enthusiasm but is determined to help EVERYONE, he’ll run around the store taking people where they need to go but only if he actually remembers where they’re situated. otherwise this boy is like “yeah they’re just... that way.” and bolts in the other direction. gets along with all his colleagues and tells them all about his tournaments with karasuno. he’s not the star employee but it wouldn’t be the same w out him.. often asks the manager if he can taste test the market’s pastry section to which he is rejected every single time.

tanaka ryuu: he’s convinced working in his local gym was him in his element, he wears that tag thing like a badge of honour and just walks around showing people he works there instead of actually doing his job??? he’s also overly enthusiastic and will sometimes cheer on the people working out as if he’s some kind of zealous personal trainer and everybody is like “literally how old is this guy??” he’s surprisingly awesome at reception duty because he’s always chatting to regulars about how they’re doing... the practical side like schedules and paperwork he leaves for someone else, everyone just puts up with him bc he’s a mood setter.

sugawara koushi: don’t get me started on this boy as a teacher’s assistant, like he helps little kids out with their work, tidies up the class during their break times and reads them stories?? he’s THAT senior boy who’s the biggest sweetheart and seeing him handle kids so well is like ... does he want some of his own ?? i’d like to offer my expertise he’s always got a smile on his face, gets along with all the staff much older than him, he’s like this perfect boy they all dote on and he gets super flustered saying he just really likes helping out the children and making them smile. often brings them little snacks too and they all call him big brother BYE.

tsukkishima kei: he does some low-key shit that’s kinda wholesome like working with the eldery or tutoring kids but prefers for literally nobody to know about it because anything he does outside of school is his business. he does it because it’s good pay, there’s not much else to it. if anybody found out he’d be super irritated tbh it’s just an invasion of privacy to him but eventually wouldn’t care because every kid is getting part-time jobs these days.

oikawa tooru: bye he’s THAT guy who got his job at a retail store because he’s pretty. like he has no real interest in clothes or anything but he takes the job as a place to validate himself when girls come up to him purposefully to flirt. he’s winking and laughing with them and also NOT actually doing his job but he brings in customers so at least he’s somewhat useful. doesn’t know how to fold clothes or hang stuff on hangers properly for shit and everyone lowkey wants to kick his ass but he’s actually very friendly and outgoing even if he has no clue what he’s doing. keeps asking if bra sizes come in small, medium and large and everyone just tells him to shut up.

iwaizumi hajime: when picking a job he was like “well what am i good at?” and went from there. he ended up as the local pool’s weekend lifeguard because he had the qualifications and time. again, everyone his age just tries to hit on him and he’s annoyed because it distracts him from the actual purpose of his job. he takes it seriously and impresses his colleagues with his swimming talent and knowledge on first aid. iwaizumi lowkey scares the little kids and they’re kind of afraid to ask him for help so he’s been working on looking a little more friendly.

kuroo tetsurou: kuroo as a tennis instructor assistant or just something sporty other than volleyball because he’s a multi-talented king?? like he’s not a professional by any means but he helps out the youth club and gets along with kids a few years younger than him. fills in for refs at tournaments, makes sure equipment is safe to use and is SUPER good at cheering club goers up when they lose or fail or can’t seem to do it correctly. he often refers to his experiences as nekoma’s captain to relate to them and they really admire his resilience and ask him to tell them more stories!!

kenma kozume: had to be dragged out to do a part-time job. was absolutely against the thought of it until hinata mentioned a friend of his who’d moved to the prefecture near kenma got a job at this new game shop. he was like fine and applied. he just kinda sat and people asked him questions about the games but he refused to do any further socialisation or actual grunt work like shelving, he quit pretty soon after, he just wanted the money to buy a game he ended up purchasing on his way out lmaoo

bokuto koutarou: he was dead set on having a volleyball related job, fukurodani have a club for junior players from all over the city to come and practice together. he was like?!? “and nobody told me??” he’s perfect for it as the captain and ends up as a secondary coach. he shows off A LOT and like kuroo, encourages the kids when they’re down. except kuroo is a more sit down, hand on shoulder, casual talk kind of guy. bokuto gets ridiculously sentimental and tells them dramatically about his lowest memories as captain when fukurodani lost and the kids are genuinely as emotional because of he way he tells it??? idk but they love him and he’s a ball of passion that keeps them going.

akaashi keiji: we are talking pretty waiter at a local gormet restaurant that gets tipped SO MUCH for his true professionalism. knows how to handle every situation with ease and is super calm, doesn’t care at all if someone from his school is there. he’s really just chasing that bag and he’s doing it well. bokuto often picks him up after his shifts so they can do stuff together but akaashi requests it be something calming since he’s tired after work... bokuto is like,, “so no to rock-climbing? alright i’ll reschedule..” the other waiters lowkey HATE the fact he gets tipped so well and they try and figure out his secrets. he has none. he’s just good at his job. i could see kiyoko working a similar job or somewhere lowkey like a flourist or bakery. she’s equally as professional and admired.

ushijima wakatoshi: ANY JOB. give this man any job and he’ll be able to carry it out like he’s been doing it since he popped out the womb. often mistaken for a grown adult so he gets jobs pretty easily? very very professional and aims to do everything perfectly. i think he’d also prefer a vb related job just like bokuto but something that could really get him somewhere big, smth to do with olympics like a paid internship for them .. can you even intern for the olympics lmao?? maybe something for the japanese team. it’s a lot of work to balance school & intern life but he’s very comitted and knows it’ll benefit him in the future. (kageyama was fuming when he found out he could have done that instead of his current gig).

tendou satori: has a job he’s very under-qualified for but somehow pulls off. he’s chilling at the hospital or law firm three times a week after classes or somewhere ridiculous but he’s doing just fine!! doesn’t actually do professional work n helps with small things but it impresses the hell out of everybody he tells, has no interest in persuing those careers but it’s fun for him, he gets paid VERY well for a boy his age and his personality creates a nice, talkative atmosphere in these seemingly tense environments.

miya atsumu / osamu: they both work at a café for novelty because they’re these handsome, athletic twins and it’s a thing that brings people in. they do a lot of fan service stuff and osamu is EXCELLENT like he was made for this job but atsumu is awful at keeping his cool. osamu will be chatting up customers, trying to persuade them to order more and atsumu is having a heated tustle with the coffee machine that’s broken down for the third time that day and it really ruins the magic osamu is trying to create. atsumu has probably sworn loudly. has probably almost been fired. he’s bad at playing along and flirting because he literally just wants them to leave so he can sit down lmao. osamu uses the pastries in the café as inspiration for his own at-home baking fiascos because it’s a stress-reliving hobby.

terushima yuji: he’s that boy in shoe shops that tries to sell you sneakers and he knows literally everything about them even when you really didn’t ask... looking to hit on girls that come in because shoe knowledge is obviously very sexy! alternatively you might catch him in a tattoo shop or sumn real appearance based and he definitely remembers all the regulars and greets them like they’re close friends, we’re talking inside jokes. always seems to know what tattoo people are looking to get purely based on their appearance and initial impression...

the list of unemployed:

yachi: too scared to do ANY job that requires interaction, she’s plagued by it.

hoshiumi: fired for picking too many fights with customers.

kyotani: EVEN WORSE THAN HOSHIUMI though he was strangely very efficient at paperwork.

suna: quit on the first day because it wasn’t what he expected and he doesn’t care about money that much.

lev: his family are like.... rich?? n nobody really expected it but he’s like yeah i really do not need one of those lmao.

yamaguchi: broke things, spilt things, smashed things. he really was trying his best..

aone: intimidated customers too much so they let him go (he was just STANDING THERE.. he deserved better).

sakusa: local venues are filthy, ushijima got the internship spot, no other job interests him enough to persue.

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu #haikyuu fics #haikyuu x reader #akaashi headcanons #haikyuu headcanon #kageyama headcanons #hinata headcanons #oikawa headcanons #kuroo headcanons #hq #i’m lazy with tags lol #bokuto headcanons #ushijima headcanons #kenma headcanons #good enough

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knightofameris · 4 years

Text

karasuno’s mixtapes (pt. i)

✎ ameris’ notes. i wanted to create some playlists that the karasuno team might listen to. each one is specialized for each character!! along with my thoughts owo and these are all japanese songs that i’ve listened to!

YouTube + Spotify links included; not all songs are on Youtube and not all songs are on Spotify ):

Anyway, hope you guys enjoy it!! Also,,, the spotify QR code kinda look ugly on these headers so i took them off,,, but if it’s easier for anyone i’ll put them back on and replace the current ones

i am also personally going to fight tumblr for not letting this show up in the tags. i’ll keep this one up for now.

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 ⇾ Tsukishima Kei, Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Nishinoya Yuu, Sugawara Koushi, Hinata Shouyou, Yamaguchi Tadashi

Part 2 (includes the rest of Karasuno) 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘯

【 artist || title (romaji/translation of title) 】 ⇽ track organization ☆ ⇽ personal favorites

link to post w/ all separate playlists

I feel like with how much he always has those headphones on, he probably has a range of music. From pop, indie, alternative, etc. He probably doesn’t really care much about lyrics and the meaning, though I don’t think he’d really vibe with songs that are explicit, as in sex lol, unless it’s something that’s more abstract yknow. He’s also not opposed to them either though. Just not preferred? I think if they just have a good beat or the melody fits with his current vibes at the time it’ll work. It’s funny that I don’t really write for Tsukki that much but I wanted to make his playlist first.

I think he has different playlists for what he’s doing at the time. If he’s on his way to school, and Yamaguchi isn’t with him, he’s probably listening to something upbeat to wake himself up. After practice on his way home, he’s probably listening to something chill to just relax after grueling practice.

Definitely has music based on his moods. I also feel like he has a preference towards indie music?? I have no clue why but I just feel like he does. He also probably has a few artists he keeps an eye on for when they have new releases but he isn’t obsessed with just one artist (Indigo la End is one of the artists I think he’d like). There are definitely songs on here he’d rather die than have his team know he listens to, Yuwakuno Party being one of them.

Out of the entire team, I think you’d be better off asking Tsukki (or Suga) for song recs. But it’s only a matter of whether or not he’ll give you them.

Track No. 01: 【 Indigo la End || 楽園 (Rakuen) 】 Track No. 02: 【 Indigo la End || チューリップ (Tulip) 】 ☆ Track No. 03: 【 Official髭男dism (Official HIGE DANdism) || Clap Clap 】 Track No. 04: 【 Shiggy Jr. || Yuwakuno Party 】 Track No. 05: 【 Shin Rizumu || Kanojo No Camera 】 Track No. 06: 【 KEYTALK || Sympathy 】 Track No. 07: 【 DADARAY || 誰かがキスをした (Dareka ga Kiss woshita) 】 Track No. 08: 【 frederic || Oddloop 】 Track No. 09: 【 Lucie,Too || Lucky 】 Track No. 10: 【 Aimer || Katamoi 】☆

He probably listens to either hip hop, pop, rock, or the cute love songs (sad/angst or the good one’s he likes both). LOL Not that love is it’s own genre it’s just, they’re good. He likes it, any type of genre. Of course, whenever he’s the DJ for the day, he makes sure he doesn’t play cute love songs, cus he’s got an image to uphold, ya know?

I ALSO feel like he likes rap music? My friend and I were talking about that so like owo I think he and Noya have the same music tastes as well but I’ll probably only put one or two songs that are the same for either.

He doesn’t organize his playlists very well. I’m sorry. I just feel like he doesn’t?? But he knows which playlists are for what. They definitely range from playlists he listens to when he thinks about Kiyoko (or you heheh) to whichever he wants to listen to and that one playlist somehow has the songs, and the only songs he wants to listen to at that moment. Actually, there should be a correction, it’s not organized well to people who look at his playlists but it’s organized to himself.

I also think he’s a big fan of JPOP groups. I think he’d probably be a fan of Nogizaka46, and this is where he and Noya will probably have a disagreement (but they still listen to the other’s favorite jpop group because its still good music ya know). Sad uwu

Track No. 01: 【 RHYMESTER || After 6 】 ☆ Track No. 02: 【 TENDOUJI || Killing Heads 】 Track No. 03: 【 BREIMEN || IWBYL 】 Track No. 04: 【神山羊 (or Yoh Kamiyama) || YELLOW 】 ☆ Track No. 05: 【 Nogizaka46 || Influencer 】 Track No. 06: 【 AKB48 || 失恋、ありがとう(Shitsuren, Arigatou) 】* Track No. 07: 【ぼくのりりっくのぼうよみ (Boku no Lyric no Bōyomi) || 輪廻転生 (Rinne tensei or aka Reincarnation) 】 Track No. 08: 【 YonYon, SIRUP || 選択 (Mirror) 】 Track No. 09: 【鈴木麻美子 (Suzuki Mamiko) || Blue 】 ☆ Track No. 10: 【 SEEDA || Daydreaming (ft. 16FLIP) 】

*(not on Spotify, added a cover instead)

I feel like Noya listens to pop, rock, indie, and like Tanaka the cute love songs and rap songs :3c. I want to say that Noya’s the one that finds the various love songs and gives Tanaka the recommendations. The song genre I think that was playing during that one episode where Ukai had videos of everyone and it was Nishinoya’s video, I think that was rock?? So that’s where the whole rock genre comes from anyway so lol.

In terms of a JPOP group I think he’s a fan of, it’d be AKB48 who are rivals with Nogizaka46 lul. And look, I want to say when I was researching into the music culture in Japan, it’s usually the girls that are fans of JPOP groups? But, I feel like Tanaka and Noya would be fans of them ;-;

I think Noya either organizes his playlists like in a keyboard smash all caps, and only he knows, or there’s just a bunch of playlists that are like “new Playlist” or whatever the defaults are loool.

Track No. 01: 【 BREIMEN || IWBYL 】 Track No. 02: 【 E ve || あの娘シークレット (The Secret About That Girl or aka Anoko Secret) 】 ☆ Track No. 03: 【 E ve || 心予報 (Heart Forecast or aka Kokoroyohou) 】 Track No. 04: 【 Saucy Dog || いつか (Itsuka) 】 ☆ Track No. 05: 【 AKB48 || 恋するフォーチュンクッキー (Fortune Cookie in Love) 】* Track No. 06: 【 KID FRESINO || Cats & Dogs (feat. カネコアヤノ) 】 Track No. 07: 【 THE BACK HORN || ハナレバナレ (hanarebanare) 】 Track No. 08: 【 Friday Night Plans || Plastic Love (cover) 】 Track No. 09: 【 eill || HUSH -MONJOE REMIX- feat. Kick a Show 】 Track No. 10: 【 Monkey Majik + m-flo || Picture Perfect 】**

*(not on Spotify, no track on there, if someone found a cover or anything lmk) **(collab between the two artists)

Suga doesn’t really care which kind of songs he listens to. He likes them all. I feel like he leans towards “softer” songs, whatever that means, though I tried putting in a range of songs for this mixtape. Maybe I’m projecting here because I love Suga and I see a lot of myself in him, but he just likes the chill music. Which is funny because of how feral he could be. He definitely has songs he listens to that are more upbeat though. I also think he likes rap. But like I said, I don’t think he really has a preference of what genre of songs he listens to.

He has multiple playlists, from what he’s feeling mood, what activity he’s doing (working out, homework, cooking, etc.), to just what he wants to listen to at the time. Which means that playlists changes a lot because of how much he deletes and adds so he can have “atm vibes”. I think he also gives them funny names, maybe throwing in emoticons so some people don’t know what playlist is for what but he does!

I think Suga would give great music recs too. He has range so he can give anything for any genre. I think out of everyone here, Suga has to be the best DJ. He just knows what songs to play that fits best with the group and the vibe that’s going on.

Track No. 01: 【 mabanua || Blurred 】 Track No. 02: 【 Saucy Dog || いつか (Itsuka) 】 ☆ Track No. 03: 【 I Don’t Like Mondays. || LEMONADE 】 Track No. 04: 【 Indigo la End || 小粋なバイバイ (Koikinabyebye) 】 Track No. 05: 【 DADARAY || イキツクシ (Ikitsukushi) 】 Track No. 06: 【ビッケブランカ (Vickeblanka) || WALK (long ver.) 】 Track No. 07: 【ゲスの極み乙女。(Gesu no Kiwami Otome) || シアワセ林檎 (shiawaseringo) 】 Track No. 08: 【 Lucky Tapes || レイディ・ブルース (Lady Blues) 】 Track No. 09: 【 Polkadot Stingray || Ichidaiji 】 Track No. 10: 【 DAOKO || Tokyo-Kick-Ass 】 ☆*

*Spotify ONLY

OKAY so it’s already been confirmed that Hinata reads manga. I dunno how into it he is but I feel like it’s more lowkey than Tendo and also because I feel like he does spend more time with volleyball. But I also think he still does watch anime every now and then and his little sister probably watches a lot of Sailor Moon so he’s bound to have watched that too. Like that’s so cute I love sailor moon. If you don’t know what I’m trying to get at, I want to say that his playlist does consist of anime openings and endings. BECAUSE THEY’RE GOOD OKAY.

I also think maybe Vocaloid?? Like maybe he finds a few vocaloid songs because he found it through youtube recommend when he listened to anime openings and stuff. But otherwise, I think as he and his sister gets older he probably listens to what his sister does because sometimes he’s just too busy to find music (which is valid because I know my brother’s music that he plays and whenever I play something new all of a sudden it’s on his playlist, i’m also the younger one)? Or he listens to whatever is in passing (like what his friends listen to) or, again, anime openings and endings.

He probably kinda attempts to organize his playlists at first but eventually he gave up? So he probably just listens to whatever is on his library of songs and skips whatever songs he’s not feeling. If he does organize anything, it’s by songs from who recommended it or where he heard it from. Like anime songs, or songs heard from natsu, or suga, etc.

Track No. 01: 【 yama || Cream 】 Track No. 02: 【 uki3 || cutlery (self cover) 】 Track No. 03: 【 WhaleDontSleep || Osmanthus (feat. Ado) 】 Track No. 04: 【 KANA-BOON || スターマーカー (Starmaker) 】 Track No. 05: 【 KANA-BOON || Silhouette 】 Track No. 06: 【 RADWIMPS || Sparkle 】 Track No. 07: 【 DAOKO×米津玄師 || 打上花火 (Fireworks) 】 ☆ Track No. 08: 【 YOASOBI || Racing into the Night 】* Track No. 09: 【 D-51 || Brand New World 】 Track No. 10: 【 WhaleDontSleep || ねむるまち feat.yama (Sleeping Town) 】 ☆

*(not on Spotify, added a cover (?) instead)

IS IT BAD THAT I THINK YAMAGUCHI WOULD LISTEN TO SAD MUSIC??? LIKE Okay he probably has a few things he likes but some that stick out would be rock, indie, or indie rock. Like, he grew up with Tsukki they probably listen to the same music together ya know? So with that in mind, they have similar artists and genres in general I think. Yamaguchi listens to songs with good beats he can vibe to or those soft songs he can listen to when he’s like taking the train and going through the day wanting to chill or whatnot. He also probably names his playlists like “chill dayz,” “just want to vibe,” “!!!! kinda day,” etc. lol it’s pretty cute but also I felt that.

Track No. 01: 【 R Sound Design || flos 】 ☆ Track No. 02: 【 KEYTALK || Passion 】 Track No. 03: 【 Vaundy || 東京フラッシュ (Tokyo Flash) 】 ☆ Track No. 04: 【 the shes gone || 想いあい (omoiai) 】 Track No. 05: 【 SPiCYSOL || Mellow Yellow 】 Track No. 06: 【 Brian the Sun || 神曲 (Kamikyoku) 】 Track No. 07: 【 indigo la End || 緑の少女 (Midori No Shoujo) 】 Track No. 08: 【 Luck Life (ラックライフ) || 名前を呼ぶよ】 Track No. 09: 【 Official髭男dism (Official HIGE DANdism) || ノーダウト】 Track No. 10: 【 Kiro Akiyama || Caffeine 】 ☆

✎ ameris’ notes. Not all of these are mainstream in Japan but some of them are! I’m not too sure about a few cultural aspects (specifically for the popularity of Vocaloid or any other synthetic vocals within Japan) so this is my disclaimer that these are just songs I’ve found for this purpose or listen to that I think would suit these characters; either through what I see them listening to or if the song reminded me of them.

Also i didn’t know some of these songs/artists did anime openings/endings and etc. but at the same time i’m not surprised.

I mostly made these because I’ve been getting back into Japanese music, mostly indie, or alt. Or like indie rock or indie pop... We can tell where my taste in music is lol.

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runin-reads · 4 years

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❛ 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 ❜

— my thoughts & general assumptions

I N S P I R E D B Y : T H E S E T I K T O K S @/daisukesleftcoochieflap on tiktok

A / N : watch them ^^ because they spit facts, and a lot of my opinions were formed with help from those videos

based on personal experiences and the overall vibe I get. tell me if I’m right or wrong! Even I don’t take this post seriously so don’t take it to heart. Can you tell I got writers block in the middle of this? :’)

P A R T T W O: H E R E

♡ SAKUATSU (SAKUSA X ATSUMU)

— you like them rude. Overall kinky as shit and huuuge on dirty talk

— you probably think to yourself that you don’t have the best luck when it comes to love

— romance isn’t a priority. But you still manage to fall for the most unlikely and difficult of people and the realization doesn’t even dawn on you until the until a certain situation that makes you question everything.

— you may even wish that you hadn’t caught feelings for them in the first place because its lowkey giving you a hard time.

— when you have a crush there’s a painstaking period of time where you wanna get closer, but you have no idea how

— your idea of flirting is acting like a slight dickhead and hoping it turns out like the fanfics.

— in a relationship, physical affection isn’t your expertise

♡ BOKUAKA

— it’s probably not in your nature to care too much about whether your love life is going well or not, and in general you don’t need much validation

— but when someone catches your eye, they catch your eye for good and it’s hard for you to look any other way other than them

— you live in a lot of people’s minds rent free

— but none of this phases you because you only have eyes for one person, or you’re not that interested in romance at all.

— the type to only have one/ a very small number of crushes/loves that you will always be deeply connected to even if you go separate paths

— if you’re in a relationship, the chances are you’re head over heals for them, like the complete definition of simp and you’re not even phased about it. You wouldn’t change it for the world

♡ KAGEHINA

— you have someone in your life that’s essentially your other half. You can interpret this however you want, it doesn’t even have to be romantic. yall are so intune with eachother that it’s become natural to have them in your life, you cannot imagine being completely without them.

— ^^ kagehina being your favourite ship is because you can relate to the feeling of fitting so damn well with someone else. Either that or you wish you had someone that could compliment you the way kagehina compliments eachother

— you’re a sucker for friends-to-lovers tropes. it genuinely gets you hyped every single time even if it’s completely predictable from the start.

— you believe in soulmates. Or you at least like the sound of the idea.

— definitely the type to fall for a friend/classmate and have it slowly consume you.

— I honestly don’t think there’s much you have to worry about. as said in the tik tok, yall got decent taste. So if there’s someone you like, please go for it!

♡ OIHINA

— hopeless. romantic. PERIODT

— you may not admit this out loud, but you’re waiting for someone to come into your life to sweep you off your feet. You have a vivid imagination and like to imagine scenarios of romance and falling in love.

— yall oihina stans thrive with ‘single and lowkey down to mingle’ energy, and we love to see it

— you’re open-minded to people of completely different cultures. You’re totally fine towards customs and languages you’re unfamiliar with, in other words you’re a world-wide hoe that doesn’t discriminate

— you found someone at some point but it was either the wrong person or the wrong time

— I also feel like you’re really good at flirting. Yall may try to deny this, but just hear me out okay

— oikawa is great at observing people and hinata is so emotionally mature and in tune with others. And from experience, fans reflect their fav ships/characters.

— when a relationship doesn’t work out, you keep an open mind and you wait for whatever comes next.

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riskeith · 4 years

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happy weekend dearest!

other than the snow angels, i haven’t done much.,, just been cozying it up with coffee and blankets at home hehe. 30 degrees... amazing. ideal feeling like a rotisserie chicken weather. 😌 bc of global warming we’ve been having some great summers these past few years. it even gets to 30 degrees as well which was unheard of tbh.

you’re so cute for caring ilysm <3 and aaa! a walk! do you have any perticular place you enjoy walking to or does the winds guide you, hehe? EDITING A FIC... 👀 i’m looking respectfully...... 👀 wait did the event open up for you already? i tried to play it earlier today but it wasn’t there yet... the lost riches one right?

bennett is best boy i still can’t believe it either!!! he’s seriously the cutest he just makes me so happy. when i need to explore and run around i always run with him bc i love his lines so much. what a bebie. you should go for it there are still some days left! + he’s a four star so he’s easier to get. GUOBA IS SO FUNNY he’s just.... a little fucking bear i can’t stop laughing... tbh the little creatures like amber’s bunny too just 😭 have you seen those yt clips of them dancing? obsession..

i need to ask you this bc when i found out i lost my mind: did you know that the japanese va for razor is also the va for tsukishima (haikyuu) and shigaraki (bnha)???? insane!!! it made me consider switch to japanese dub tbh.. which dub do you use?

maybe i’ll send you a little part and you can read or something shdkdhskdjdjf help 😳 it’s not edited or anything so it might take a while plus i’m super into writing bnha these days so.... but hey if You have any prompts you want to read maybe i’ll write a drabble for you. i don’t mind at all! <33333 ask for anything!!

(FIC-COLLAB!!:!/$:)!:&//&/!$:’sidnd HELP.... omg what kind of fic would we write....?)

exactly! i think when you realize that there’s nothing keeping you there anymore that brings you joy, that’s when you need to step back. social media is a bit fucked up that way imo. like you want to be there to be informed and to have fun but it takes so much.. hm. also you always tell me this but i wanna tell you to that YOU are the reason i enjoy social media these days so.. thank you <3

you relate to bakugou and lance? that’s super hot of you.. 🥵 my wifey is a self assured, super intense and talented person.. couldn’t ask for better tbh. i think out of them both i’m pretty much like todoroki.. we’re super similar in so many ways now that i think about it shsjdhdhdj.. how about we just stay c.r and m.a our dynamic is perfect as is LMAO

DOUBLE VENTI! I’D LOOOOVE THAT FOR US. bow users are difficult indeed but venti is one of the easier bow users it feels like... idk watching others game play he doesn’t have as much pushback as say amber for example. 12K PRIMOGEMS..... babe you’re getting your xiao!!!!!! how long have you been saving? also i seriously don’t mind if it comes down to it hakshddkhd i can be your genshin sugar mommy... ;) imagine a c6 venti though that seems insane. literal insanity.

SPEAKING OF SHIPPING.... THE POST YOU POSTED... THEY STOLE OUR IDEA AND IT LOOKS SO CUTE AND ITS CHONGYUN AND XINGYUN WHICH IS EVEN BETTER... THEY LOOK SOOOOO CUTE TOGETHER I’M OBSESSEDDDDD!!!! <3333 dude idk how but we are doing that co-op date somehow i’m super inspired i want that for us so badly... (also i need to say smth... my love language is when people say ‘i thought of you when i...’ and the fact that you said that just hsjdfhjdjdksk shit)

actually you’re right.. the only way we’d get a sequel is if they did something with the mfe fighters.. like kinkade james veronica nadia and ina. idk how attractive that would be tho...

i’m a lady, my dearest *dips* no but my pronouns are she/her!! sorry i didn’t mention it before i thought i made it clear shsjsjdkdj. ty for asking tho ♥️ super sweet!

AAA!!!!!!!!!! EEE!! i’m super super excited. if it’s like,, too public and you don’t just wanna post it i might think about exposing myself or smth... if that would make you more comfy. no matter what you do i’m just gonna be here buzzing, *hinata voice* one more one more one more.

oh!! i listen to everything but kpop sjdjdkdhdk i did have a semi-phase around like 2014-19 ish but dropped it pretty hard . now i have no clue what goes on there anymore i mostly enjoy rnb indie n rap/hip.. my gay ass was considering making a little playlist or smth for u but i want to make it with songs You’d like so i might pull up my old kpop faves hehe..

guess chilling is out of the question then, heh. hope you slept well!! i’m gonna try to wake up earlier so we’ll have a chance to send more messages during the weekend perhaps... mwah!!

YOURS, m.a. <3

happy weekend!!!! hope you can ease up a bit since there’s no school hehe

“feeling like a rotisserie chicken weather” FHSKFHKSDF yes!! but it honestly sucks when it gets any hotter bc we don’t have central cooling in our house so rip... and my laptop fan goes crazy ahaha. 30 degrees being unheard of.. can’t relate! fsdfjs. have you guys had to adjust to those changing temperatures? rip climate change tho :’(

<333 i do!! i usually walk to the local park and then the streets around that.. omg speaking of... do you play pokemon go? DHAFKHSDKFHSKDFHKSDH i got back into it again recently ahaha. it’s for a free bakudeku zine!! hehehe it’s out at the end of jan so 👀

i just checked and the event is open !!!!!!!!! good luck hehe !

yup lost riches!! and the event opens at 4am server time, so since i’m in asia i get it earlier hehe which colour seelie are you gonna go for tho omg i was debating it with my friend last night.. i’m gonna pick gold!!

baby bennett!! that’s true but i can’t risk getting a 5 star otherwise my pity will reset for xiao fhdskfhskjfhkjshkfj next time :(((( but albedo /is/ super pretty and i see a lot of people saying they like him... NO !!! xiao only >:( no omg i don’t think i’ve seen those clips ? is it mmd where they like dance to other songs and stuff ahah

yes i did!!!! and the VA for diluc is giorno from jjba and kuroko from knb!! omg wait and venti’s VA is hinata did you know that? fun fact i guessed it was him when i first heard his voice LOL that’s my secret talent 😩 and i use japanese dub!! i’ve considered using chinese too bc i can understand it but i just like the japanese voice actors tbh and also i can excuse it as “listening practice” AHAH

yes pls!! sending something bnha is fine too, or legit anything else lmao i’m open arms over here~~ 🤗👐 and ooft... it’s hard thinking of prompts that’s why i always ask others HSDKFJHSDKFHSD but i’ll let you know if i think of something!!!

(no clue!!!! but we could each write from a character’s POV so hopefully it’s more consistent 🤪🤪 idk i have no clue how fic collabs work AHAHA)

yeahhh one of my mutuals said “social media is a curse” and honestly hard agree.. we’re all kinda trapped in a way LMAO. and no pls don’t thank me.. you’re the one who found me first 😩💘 ily..

FSDHKJFS pls you’re making me blush come on 😳😳 but yes i love that for us... m.a. x c.r. the only valid ship 😩

woooo!!!! yeah you’re probably right, like given the fact he’s a 5 star his mechanics are probably different.. i know that diluc’s charged attack is different to the other claymore users so! IM GETTING MY XIAO!!!! and hm i’ve been saving since the middle of zhongli banner! so december 10 ish around then? dragonspine was a blessing tbh i reckon i got sooo many primogems from that. FGJKSHFKJSDHFKSDHSHKJFH my genshin sugar mummy 🥵🥵 c6 venti unstoppable..

AHAHAHA YEAH THEY LOOK /SO/ CUTE TOGETHER!!! i wonder how they got so many of the images tho like they must’ve been so in sync?!?!? ugh that could be us but no cross-server co-op be playin’.. (fhdskjfhdskjfhs um!! noted for future reference 🤪)

omg them.. i always forget about them LMAOOOOOOOOO ugh. actually i wouldn’t be mad if we got a prequel of like when keith was in the garrison... or even when shiro was with adam... ugh so much they could’ve given us and they chose not to

*waggles eyebrows* well hello there, m’lady ;) and it’s fine fhdskjf i had some inklings but didn’t wanna assume ya know? ahah :p

no!! it’s all g, i’ve thought about posting it before anyway. like, just releasing all of my WIPs and letting people do what they want with them HAAHA. (i could also just put the link under a read more and less people would see it, so it’s no biggie!) fkdshfkjs the hinata impression omg precious <33

FJHFDSKJ awks ahah which groups were you into tho! if it’s not like scarring for you to think back to LOL. and oooo i like indie too! i think.. or is it alt? honestly i don’t even know, tbh my music taste is pretty diverse and a mess, i can usually listen to a lot of things. except slow songs i don’t really like those hfdskj. and i don’t like rap too much either FHSDKJS whenever my friend gives me a rec i’m just like “oh i liked the singing parts in that” FDSKJF. a playlist tho huh 😳🥺

and pls!! if the weekend is your only chance to sleep in then do it.. for me 😩 i’ve been legit waking up at 12pm these past few days FKJHSKDF idek why like i’m sleeping 10 hours?? yikes. but as always i shall be waiting for your response <3 💌

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

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denwrites · 5 years

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I’ve seen a lot of (obviously nsfw) Gaara/Naruto fanfics where Gaara has a praise kink, but consider the opposite...

Naruto spends his whole life just wanting to be acknowledged by other people, and it doesn’t even end there. Even after Sasuke “acknowledges” Naruto when they’re both in the academy, Naruto can’t bear to lose that “acknowledgement” from Sasuke. He’s one of those people that can’t accept the fact that some people just won’t like you. He needs to be friends with everyone, and I think a lot of this comes from growing up as an orphan and having most of the village automatically looking down on him/hating him. Obviously being alone an outcast by society sucks, so when he gets his first taste of friendship (Iruka, Sasuke, Sakura, etc.) he is terrified of losing those bonds. He never wants to go back to the loneliness he faced before, and he doesn’t understand that it’s okay to grow apart.

Naruto grew up around other kids, and even though he was often left out, he got to see how they interacted with each other normally. He saw them make friends and have crushes and develop these relationships that he could only dream about. So, growing up, he would notice when certain interactions were missing from his own life. He would notice that even after making friends, he was known as the “goofball” or the “knucklehead” and sure, he doesn’t mind being known as those things (and is probably somewhat proud of it tbh) but he’s never the handsome one, or the cool one (Hinata thinks so but he’s never shown to notice or realize that). If someone is nervous around him, it’s because they are afraid of Kyuubi, not because they particularly care about what Naruto thinks of them. And Naruto would grow up noticing that...but, at the same time, he feels like he’s lucky to have any friends at all. Anything is better than how it was before he joined the academy, so he doesn’t feel like he has the right to want anything more than that.

And people are always calling him “dead last” or “dumb,” and they’re not exactly wrong (in context). But...when has anyone really given Naruto a compliment? The closest I can think is during the chuunin exams when Sasuke says he wants to fight Naruto because he’s gotten strong (which is maybe another reason why Naruto is unable to let Sasuke go, this was the first person to actually praise him).

On the other hand, Gaara had an isolated childhood, but in a different way. The first few years of his life, he had a pretty healthy relationship with Yashamaru (if I remember correctly). He is still kept away from other kids since he’s 1. the Kazekage’s son and 2. a jinchuuriki that people are afraid of, but Yashamaru is there to make him feel safe and loved and important. So, at least in the beginning, he’s not starved for praise or attention the way that Naruto was. Also, since he doesn’t really get to socialize with other kids ever, he doesn’t know what he’s missing. He doesn’t get to experience other kids and their crushes and friendships and rivalries and all of that.

Then of course Yashamaru betrays him, and that severely breaks Gaara’s mind. He goes on a rampage, he decides he doesn’t need anyone else and that he’s just going to live for himself, completely independently. It’s unhealthy, and deep down he’s lonely, but at the same time, he’s not really seeking anyone’s approval. He knows (or he thinks he knows) what he is, and he accepts it. He wants to be accepted for who he knows he is, and that’s why Naruto is able to get through to him, because Naruto understands exactly what he’s been through and can accept him for the good and the bad. This is what makes Gaara realize that it’s possible for others to accept him for who he is as well, and he begins to establish relationships with his siblings.

Fast forward three years. Gaara has become Kazekage. He’s friends with his siblings, and many of Naruto’s friends as well. He put a lot of hard work into establishing himself as a respected leader, and I feel like, at that point, he had really come to terms with himself. He knows who he is and who he was, and he knows that things change and that people come and go. He’s happy with his small close-knit circle, and he doesn’t care about outside validation because he’s spent years being independent. The only remaining hurt he has comes from Yashamaru’s betrayal (understandably), but he seems to accept it is what it is.

Naruto spends two and a half years away from everyone, hiding because he’s a jinchuuriki, honing his skills in order to chase down Sasuke. Most of his motivations are external. He comes back to the village and everyone has changes and that is uncomfortable for him (though it’s some consolation that they missed him).

I still can’t think of a time where anyone is openly praising him until after the fight with Pein, where he becomes known as the hero of Konoha...and I feel like even that would be a bit of a hollow victory for him because ultimately he failed and it was Kyuubi that came to the rescue.

More fast forwarding to when Gaara fights the resurrected Fourth Kazekage during the war. His father tells him that he ordered Yashamaru to kill him. That Yashamaru and his mother really did love him. We see that this finally closes one of the most painful open wounds that Gaara has carried with him for his entire life. This is the point where he really can put his main insecurities to rest and fully heal. The most traumatic events of his life finally make sense, and while they still bring up painful memories, it’s like the hole in his heart has been sealed (I’m explaining this poorly but there’s a really good YouTube video about this by Sage’s Rain called ‘What is Love’). We see later during the Infinite Tsukuyomi that Gaara’s dream is to just have a happy loving family (and Naruto). I think it’s at this point we can see that Gaara is finally completely confident in himself.

Meanwhile, Naruto makes friends with Kyuubi (”I’m coming for all that hate in you too”). Besides the Sage of the Six paths, no one had ever befriended a tailed beast--but it’s just in Naruto’s nature, he won’t give up, he will make friends, and he won’t let go. He states multiple times throughout the series that he feels like he’s the only one who can understand Sasuke’s pain, and that he’s okay if they fight each other to the death. He “needs” to save Sasuke, he can’t let their friendship get away from him. The second time they fight in the Valley of the End, he does not give up. Sasuke is the one who finally gives up. Naruto needs Sasuke, he needs their friendship, he needs that external validation.

The series (at least the anime and ch. 699 of the manga) end without Naruto becoming Hokage. But wasn’t that his whole goal from the very beginning? To become Hokage because...because he wanted the village to acknowledge him. He deeply craves that love and affection that he was missing throughout his childhood (and adolescence for that matter). The series ends with him “getting Sasuke back” because his real end game was to get that acknowledgement, that attention, that affection.

All of that was a really long-winded ramble-y way of saying that I 100% think Naruto would have a praise kink, whereas Gaara wouldn’t be that affected by praise (at least, not any more than the average person). Also Gaara compliments Naruto left and right, and Naruto would be so weak to that. And once Gaara figured that out, he would be just be nonstop with the praise and the random compliments because he wants Naruto to feel safe and loved and wanted too.

#gaanaru #narugaa #semi-incoherent headcanon #i'll never do anything with this probably but i really just needed to get it out #sorry it's so long and ramble-y

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corpsentry · 4 years

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fandom: haikyuu!! rating: teens pairings: atsumu/hinata, thomas/inunaki, gen stuff characters: the entire msby black jackal starting lineup, but with a heavy narrative focus on meian notes: quarantine fic, stuck in a mountain lodge fic, quarantined in a mountain lodge fic, ensemble dynamics

Nature is healing, the birds are returning, and Miya Atsumu is setting the kitchen on fire.

ao3 mirror

Every evening at six, they have the Animal Crossing debate.

“So,” begins Atsumu. He raps the whiteboard he stole from the hidden walk-in closet. He makes eye contact with each of them in turn except for Inunaki and Thomas and Sakusa, because Inunaki is asleep on Thomas’ shoulder and Thomas is having an existential crisis and Sakusa is studying his nails.

“So,” Shouyou parrots back. Shouyou is the only reason the Animal Crossing debate hasn’t devolved into an Animal Crossing dictatorship. He leans forward in his seat, brushing elbows with Bokuto who is distracted. Bokuto’s Skype hasn’t been working properly all day.

Feeling validated, Atsumu clears his throat. He gestures at the contents of the whiteboard which include his obscene monthly paycheck and Raymond and a list of every online gaming store in Japan.

“Today’s question.” He pauses for dramatic effect. “Should I spend a hundred thousand yen—“”

“—Objection your stupid honor, no—” Sakusa.

“—On the Animal Crossing switch which comes with a tempered glass screen protector and the Animal Crossing pouch and the Animal Crossing: New Horizons game and a laminated mini-poster of Raymond or should I—”

Thomas nudges Shuugo’s shoulder. “Is he actually sleeping,” he whispers frantically.

Shuugo glances over at Inunaki. He’s jammed into the side of Thomas' sweater and crunching something imaginary between his teeth. He doesn’t look like he’s thinking of killing someone or thinking of killing someone.

“Yes,” Shuugo whispers back.

“—and destroy the garden,” Atsumu concludes.

The sound of something creaking above them. Bokuto thinks there’s a ghost haunting the attic. Shuugo thinks it might actually be Bokuto haunting the attic. He is simply unaware of the possibility.

“No,” Shouyou says brightly.

“Yes,” Bokuto says distractedly.

Atsumu begins to lean against the whiteboard in an unconscious bid to look like he has everything under control. “What.”

“Don’t destroy the garden and don’t buy the switch,” Shouyou clarifies.

Doubt flashes across Atsumu’s face even though Shouyou has said no to him every single day this week and last week and the week before that as well. Sakusa has produced a nail filer and is filing his nails in his corner of the sofa. Inunaki’s eyes are wide open and he’s looking at Thomas like he wants to kiss him or kill him. Thomas is looking at Shuugo like he wants to kill him.

“Meian-san.”

“Shouyou.”

“Atsumu.” Shouyou is the only reason Atsumu is still sane and also the only reason Atsumu is not quite sane anymore but sort of just dragging himself through each day with his face on the floor.

Sakusa has begun to file the sofa. Atsumu’s whiteboard slides three meters to the left, yanking him off-balance with it. Bokuto gives his phone a half-hearted shake and it bounces harmlessly off Thomas’ shoulder. Inunaki hisses at him.

Atsumu tries again, “is this about the garden or is it about the Animal Crossing. Hey, Shouyou. Are you listening.”

“Where are you going, Meian-san?” Shouyou asks, serene as a Buddha.

“To the bathroom,” Shuugo says after a pause, and then heads up the stairs and locks himself in his room and plays Candy Crush on his phone until he falls asleep.

The lodge was initially Shouyou’s idea. His mother’s friend’s uncle owned a lodge at the base of Mount Fuji and while they usually would have rented it out to AirBNB guests at this time of the year, the website had recently been banned in Japan due to transparency issues and they were good law-abiding citizens, so they stopped. Since they had the space anyway, they said to Shouyou’s mother over tea and rice crackers, would her son be interested in spending a few weeks in the mountains? Of course, there would be a generous discount.

So Shouyou said yes but only discovered later, as he had not thought to ask, that the lodge was not the size of a 2LDK apartment but a small castle. There were six bedrooms and eight bathrooms and a large industry-grade kitchen that contained three bread machines and a brick kiln. There was a barbecue pit in the backyard. They discovered an ouija board presumably left behind by previous inhabitants, Shouyou texted all of them about it over the weekend, and so the deal was done.

Shouyou would go because he liked the mountains and resonated with them spiritually, having cycled up and down one for most of his high school career. Atsumu would go because Shouyou was going. Bokuto would go because two of his friends were going and Sakusa would go because he was promised his own room and two bathrooms, and he was interested in the ouija board. Inunaki would go because he liked mountains despite being the emotional equivalent of a volcano, and Thomas would go because he was still caught in the middle of their fucked-up courtship ritual that had been going on for years now. Shuugo was hired as parental supervision. The Black Jackals could not afford to have their starting lineup incapacitated in the mountains before the next season began.

Naturally this all took place in early March, before the entire situation devolved into mass hysteria and toilet paper shortages and nature’s attempt to reclaim the gacha machines from mankind or whatever. When they arrived at the lodge COVID-19 was only on Sakusa’s mind, because Sakusa read the news religiously. It was also occasionally on Atsumu’s mind, as Atsumu was prone to bouts of sudden and sustained anxiety. However, every time Atsumu made eye contact with Shouyou the matter would be expelled from his mind as a ball, hit out of the ballpark, lands in some deserted parking lot several cities away. So Shuugo figured they would be all right.

Then, of course, they were extremely not all right. But by then all the local supermarket ladies had already fallen in love with Thomas and his cashmere sweaters and his smile. Surely they wouldn’t let them go back down the side of the mountain without trying to tear off a limb. Or two. Or twelve. So they stayed.

On Friday, Atsumu breaks the washing machine. He claims it broke by itself and that he was simply pressing buttons like a good Japanese citizen but Sakusa later extracts the truth from him, which is that he bodyslammed the washing machine before he tried pressing buttons like a good Japanese citizen. Which makes him a shitty fucking Japanese citizen, said Sakusa. Anyway all the buttons he pressed were the wrong ones, so it wouldn’t have made a difference. Shouyou calls his mother’s friend’s uncle to apologize for the washing machine in the evening and he doesn’t seem that bothered. It was turning twenty-five this year, apparently, which made it an immortal god of a washing machine. Someone would have had to put it in its place eventually.

They don’t tell Atsumu that he broke the twenty-five-year-old washing machine though, because Sakusa’s mad about having to hand-wash all their clothes from now on. Additionally, Atsumu seems to be experiencing emotions in relation to the washing machine as he doesn’t host the Animal Crossing Debate for the first time since they got stuck here, and goes to sulk in Shouyou’s room instead.

Shuugo knocks on Shouyou’s door after dinner, meaning to check on him and make sure Atsumu hasn’t ripped a hole through the bedroom wall that Shouyou shares with Bokuto. He’s a little concerned but not too concerned. There are sounds coming from behind the door, which means that he still has at least one spiker or one setter.

He sticks his head inside. He sticks his head back outside.

He regrets everything.

“Meian-san,” Atsumu says several moments later, fully-clothed and experiencing even more emotions than he had been experiencing when he first found out about the washing machine.

“No.”

“...I’m sorry.”

Shuugo doesn’t have it in him to meet his eyes. He passes along Sakusa’s message with less bite than Sakusa had probably intended, and then goes to the kitchen to look for a drink.

NINTENDO SWTICH @m_atsumu

You Will Never Know The Value Of A Moment Until It Becomes A Memory.

“What do you mean you finished all the peach purunto.”

“Uh.” Thomas stares at his feet. He stares at the ant presumably crawling on the floor beside his feet. He stares at Shuugo, who is watching him from the big sofa in the living room and drinking a pouch of grape purunto. “Um,” he repeats in a slightly higher-pitched voice.

Shuugo salutes him for good luck and Thomas' shoulder twitches in response. He can’t make any big movements now or Inunaki will be startled and then try to kill him. This has been the state of affairs between them for a while now, since the Izakaya in December where a waiter tried to take Thomas home and Inunaki almost set their private room on fire.

“I’m sorry,” he tries.

The truth is Thomas doesn’t even like peach purunto. He likes grape purunto because he thinks the peach-flavored stuff doesn’t taste artificial enough. Everyone on the team knows this except for Inunaki, who Thomas has been engaging in a fucked-up courtship ritual for the last fifty-nine years. Everyone also knows that Shuugo and Bokuto have been stealing things from the fridge after midnight and not Thomas, who sleeps like a newborn baby placed in subzero temperatures and thus retires to bed early every night. But Thomas isn’t in a position to tell Inunaki anything.

That being said, neither is Shuugo. Shuugo squeezes the plastic pouch dry. He props his arms up on the back of the sofa, chewing peacefully on the last of his konnyaku, while Inunaki approaches Thomas and Thomas approaches the counter.

Thomas makes a sound when his hip bumps into the drawer. “Sorry,” he says again on instinct. Oh Thomas, Shuugo thinks wistfully.

Inunaki stares up at him. Shuugo can’t see his expression but he can picture it perfectly in his mind. It’s the same expression Inunaki wears when he’s about to receive a nasty serve. It’s the same expression Inunaki wears when he’s deciding what drink to get from the vending machine outside the gym.

“Peach purunto is my favorite.”

“I know.” Thomas does know. Poor guy. Shuugo sends him another prayer.

“So what.”

“What?”

Inunaki’s voice almost cracks here, as if he were the one being cornered and not the one actually doing the cornering: “Am I not your favorite?”

Thomas' knees give out. He slides to the floor. The two of them vanish behind the kitchen counter in a dramatic moment full of romantic tension and fear.

“Is that allowed?” he asks in a voice so high-pitched and breathy and small it probably wouldn’t register on a decibel meter or the Richter scale.

“Do you like me or do you not?”

Shuugo flops silently back onto the sofa and rolls to the ground, excusing himself from the room. He doesn’t need to watch this part.

Or maybe he should have because apparently Thomas said no out of embarrassment and Inunaki flipped him off and stole the third button off his shirt and now there’s a problem. Thomas takes a swig of his shochu mixed with grape purunto. “There’s a problem, Meian-san,” he says miserably. “I only have one good shirt. And now I look like a gravure model.”“Because of the button?”

Another swig. “The button is enough.”

Downstairs Bokuto is talking to Akaashi the shounen manga editor on Skype or at least trying to. Upstairs Sakusa is ransacking the hidden walk-in closet for more cleaning supplies. Last Shuugo checked, Atsumu’s room was empty. Shouyou’s was not. Shuugo is never sticking his head into anything without acquiring firm vocal confirmation of his safety ever again.

“Where is Inunaki-san anyway?” Thomas looks right through him to the other side of the world where he is probably having the time of his life in Paris.

Shuugo thinks about it. He sips at his peach purunto.

“The backyard?”

The story goes that they all wound up in a lodge the size of a small castle at the base of Mount Fuji but then the world blew itself up and everyone got sick. Their supervisors decided, talking anxiously to Shuugo over the phone, that it would actually be better for the Black Jackals’ starting lineup to hang out in the lodge until this whole thing blew over. Was that possible? Please, Meian-san? Please?

Meian Shuugo, being completely defenseless against the word please, immediately turned to Shouyou. Shouyou, being completely defenseless as a general state of being, called up his mother’s friend’s uncle and offered them a generous portion of his obscene paycheck. And Atsumu’s obscene paycheck. And all their paychecks, actually.

Of course you can stay, they said over tea and rice crackers that could not be seen but could be heard over the crackling speaker of Shouyou’s Nokia phone. We don’t really want to go up there ourselves right now anyway, what with the cruise ship and the epidemic and everything.

Thanks, said Shouyou. In the background Sakusa was making Atsumu sign a contract to stop using Sakusa’s second bathroom.

Are you sure you’ll be okay, Shouyou’s mother’s friend’s uncle added as an afterthought.

Shouyou laughed brilliantly and confidently into the receiver.

“Don’t worry, Kishimoto-san,” he said. “We’ll be fine.”

Bokuto video calls Akaashi the shounen manga editor every night. They’re boyfriends, so this makes sense. What doesn’t make sense to Shuugo is that Bokuto conducts these video calls in the living room. He has either not discovered the wall socket in his room or decided that he is above it. He has also either not discovered that Akaashi, his shounen manga editor boyfriend, is very busy, or has decided to ignore the fact entirely.

They don’t use Zoom because Akaashi the shounen manga editor has qualms about private user information and where his is going. But Akaashi doesn’t seem to say anything during any of their calls anyway, so no one’s really sure why Bokuto bothers calling to begin with. Is Akaashi the shounen manga editor even real? Is Bokuto imagining things the way he is the ghost haunting the attic? One time Shuugo walked past the sofa while Bokuto was on it. His laptop screen was blank.

“Akaashi,” Bokuto says, stretching the ‘a’ like a piece of taffy formed from several pieces of taffy stuck together.

“...About the ghost in the attic...”

“...Tsum-tsum broke the washing machine...”

“...I think his name is Jonathan...”

Shuugo gives Bokuto one last glance before leaving the living room with his chips. Who the hell is Jonathan? Who is Bokuto talking to? Today, as well, the mystery remains unsolved.

HEY HEU HEY @b_koutarou

MY SKYPE ISN’T WORKING SOMEONE PLEASE HELP

hey @k_tetsurou

Are you sure it isn’t working. Maybe the other person just doesn’t want to talk?

HEV HEY HEN @b_koutarou

SUDDENLY I CANNOT READ

They all find it unnerving that Atsumu politely agrees to do the dishes for the next two weeks as emotional compensation for breaking the washing machine. They find it unnerving that Atsumu doesn’t snap back when Sakusa declares that he is inferior to business majors over dinner on Tuesday. They’re all so busy being generally unnerved that it doesn’t occur to them that Miya Atsumu may have other plans that have temporarily deterred him from being an asshole, such as being an asshole at a later date.

“GONNA TAKE MY HORSE TO THE—”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP.”

“ —OLD TOWN ROAD—”

“WHAT’S HAPPENING BOKUTO-SAN?”

“RIDE TIL I CAN’T—”

“MEIAN-SAN.”

“THOMAS?”

“ATSUMU.”

Silence. Atsumu turns to look at them. “Shouyou!”

“Atsumu!” Shouyou takes a step towards Atsumu from behind the sofa, where the rest of them are gathered like one’s online shopping information hides behind a firewall. He holds his hands up in front of him, palms out, to indicate non-aggression. “What are you doing?”

“I’m washing the dishes,” says Atsumu, who has clearly given up on washing the dishes.

“And what are those?”

“Portable speakers. Found ‘em in the hidden walk-in closet.”

Shouyou tries to get closer but Atsumu holds up the kitchen hose like a knife and waves it at him. Every decent industry-grade kitchen comes with two meters of kitchen hose these days. It’s a necessary self-defense tactic.

“Come any closer and I’ll hose you. Even if you’re Shouyou.”

“Do you not love me?” Shouyou asks, heartbroken, probably.

“Does he really love him?” Sakusa comments from behind the sofa firewall.

Thomas and Sakusa exchange a look of equal parts horror and indifference.

“I love you,” Atsumu says, blissfully unaware of Sakusa Kiyoomi’s general existence at this time. He is in Clear Pain. The hose is trembling in his hand and Shuugo fears suddenly that he may let go of it. The water being emptied at breakneck speed into the sink can be dealt with later. If it decides to empty itself in another direction, they will need more than a sofa to save them.

“But I,” Atsumu lowers the hose, shuts the water off. His hands are still soapy and there’s an odd, unhinged look in his eyes. “I can’t wash the dishes in silence.”

Shouyou takes three steps forward. “Why?”

“Well, I mean.” Atsumu tilts his head to one side like a serial killer in a serial killer movie does in the moments before they jump the main character’s best friend who is dictated by cultural tradition to be the first to die. Or maybe Atsumu is the main character’s best friend. Or maybe Atsumu doesn’t watch any serial killer movies.

He tilts his head to the other side quietly.

“It’s boring?”

They let him keep the portable speakers.

Shuugo calls his wife and kids on Skype every other night. On every other other night he wanders around the lodge like a ghost until the early hours of the morning, thinking about unresolved high school conflicts and the next V League season and his grandparents up in Hokkaido. Sometimes he checks the attic for ghosts. Usually he doesn’t. He’s confident he’ll find Bokuto there one day.

“Why don’t you just come back?” his wife asked, the first time they Skyped. He had to explain that he trusted his wife with all his heart when it came to looking after herself and their kids. But, and Shuugo said this earnestly and passionately, he didn’t trust a single member of the MSBY Black Jackals to look after themselves, except maybe Barnes, who was not present. They were professional volleyball players, not professional adults. No one ever really becomes a professional adult.

“This is a good chance for them to learn,” his wife commented, patting the top of Kenta’s head like a buzzer in a gameshow, but more gently.

Shuugo shrugged. “This is a major historical event. They’ll learn some other time.”

Kenta pushed himself up into the camera and said something indistinguishable. It was about Doraemon or the cockroach infestation episode of Gintama and Shuugo wasn’t sure which. He waved back at his eldest son. His eldest son nodded gravely and was buzzered back into his mother’s lap.

“Say bye to daddy, Kenta.”

“Insect repellent.”

“Love you too, kid.”

Tonight is one of those long, sleepless nights. Shuugo ducks into the hidden walk-in closet to see what’s been stolen this week, makes a note of who to yell at the next day, and ducks back out before he can meet anyone he doesn’t want to meet. He checks the toilet paper reserves. He spends an hour lying on the sofa in the living room by himself, scrolling through photos of his family and his dog. His wife sends them every day except for Thursday when she has to catch the live simulcast of her favorite drama on NHK. Kenta looks like he’s managing; Kohki, less so. But then and again, Kohki is three.

He dozes off on the sofa. In his dreams he’s fifteen again and everything sucks except for volleyball, which he doesn’t suck at, which he’s the best at. There’s a boy he thinks he might be in love with but first he wants to get a popsicle from the corner store. Wait a minute, he tells the boy. I’ll be right back. He runs to the corner store and buys his popsicle and runs back to the place where he had promised to meet the boy and it feels like no time has passed at all. Maybe three seconds, maybe three years. But the boy isn’t there anymore. The sun is setting. The street is empty, and there’s a volleyball bouncing by itself at the far end of it, silhouetted in red and orange and gray.

In the morning he’s awoken by yelling from three different directions and the smell of something burning. It’s unbearably, saccharinely sweet so it must be Atsumu again, perhaps with the help and passionate support of Inunaki. The time on the clock reads something fifty-two and he can’t be bothered to squint harder. It doesn’t really matter. Sun’s up anyway.

“MEIAN-SAN.”

He clears his throat. “COMING.”

He sighs, shakes the cramps out of his shoulders, and heads off to save his kids. The ridiculously tall and fast and powerful ones with the impulse control of a flock of mature geese. The ones who play volleyball.

Inunaki wants to go grocery shopping. This is not news as everyone generally wants to go grocery shopping, barring Atsumu who has been living in a bubble of sustained anxiety since they got here and is only maintaining his sanity because of Old Town Road and Hinata Shouyou. But this week Inunaki seems particularly agitated about it. He starts the morning off by trying to make sourdough and destroys the first bread machine. He gets pissed about that and destroys the second bread machine. He pulls down the giant projector screen in front of the sofa and blasts K-ON at full volume all afternoon while Sakusa tries to film a skincare tutorial and Bokuto tries to nap and the whole house smells like sourdough starter. Shuugo almost regrets drinking his peach purunto. No, he chides himself. You will not regret what cannot be changed. Like peach purunto and sake parties. Like sake parties.

In contrast Thomas has always seemed the most hinged of the lot, though recently Shuugo has been approaching the astronomical revelation that this may in fact be a false impression created to lure you into trusting him with your life. After all, borderline-nonexistent impulse control is an entry requirement for all members of the MSBY Black Jackals except for Barnes, who is not present. Every once in a while Shuugo catches Thomas staring off in Inunaki’s vague direction like a chicken stares at a smaller chicken. It worries him.

Through the combined efforts of Shouyou, Bokuto, and Atsumu, they trap Inunaki in Sakusa’s second bathroom without Sakusa’s knowledge and convince him to watch a purunto infomercial on Sakusa’s laptop, also borrowed without his knowledge. The infomercial is something like ten minutes long. It’s a contingency measure arranged by Sakusa several days ago. If you need to stop Inunaki-san, he said last Friday or Monday or perhaps Sunday, dabbing at his cheeks with pore cleanser while Shuugo leaned against the doorway of his first bathroom and played Candy Crush. Then use this.

So they use it. Inunaki is successfully eclipsed from the equation and Thomas and Shuugo haul ass to the old Toyota parked outside and while Sakusa dreams of whatever Sakusa is capable of dreaming of, like clean oyster shells and hand sanitizer commercials probably, they drive down the side of the mountain to the supermarket.

Meian Shuugo grew up in a prefecture just outside of Tokyo. It was the kind of bland suburban neighborhood that wasn’t particularly interesting and contained only three convenience stores, located next to the police station, behind the police station, and several hundred meters away from the police station beside the supermarket. By extension, the supermarket Meian Shuugo grew up with was not particularly interesting either. It had all of the aisles a supermarket was expected to have but it didn’t have a playground for kids or a box television for kids or a giant stuffed Pikachu in the candy aisle. Shuugo, being a kid for most of his childhood, was unimpressed.

The supermarket in the town located half an hour shy of their lodge reminds him, acutely, of his unimpressive youth. He walks through the sliding glass doors and is assaulted with upbeat music, chatter, crying babies. Perhaps in another life he was born in this town and grew up bounding up the side of a mountain, doing mountain-child things like chasing beetles and building rafts to float down the creeks that were embedded in its face. Perhaps in another life he grew up the exact same person.

Thomas hands him a list, then goes to grab a shopping cart. They work methodically; Shuugo reads out Thomas’ neat, Sharpied-in handwriting and Thomas grabs things from the aisle at record speeds. Shuugo wonders, this week as well, if Thomas is secretly telepathic.

“Toilet paper, the eight-pack.”

“Got it.”

No, he corrects himself. If Thomas were telepathic he would not have said no to Inunaki, who clearly wants to resolve the conflict they launched in the Izakaya last December even if his actions seem to say otherwise. Thomas hauls the toilet paper off the highest shelf and deposits it, with care, in their cart. Thomas the shopping cart chauffeur. Thomas the good guy.

“You’re a good guy, you know,” Shuugo says seriously. There’s not much left on their list; eggs, sake, dried seaweed sheets for Atsumu who has recently added it to his collection of coping mechanisms he picked off of self-care articles on Buzzfeed.

Thomas the shopping cart chauffeur turns to look at him. “I am?”

“Course you are.” Shuugo squats down in front of the chocolate section. His hand hovers over the thin row of plastic Chocobaby’s. It’s Kenta’s favorite.

Thomas laughs quietly. “Inunaki-san doesn’t seem to think so.”

If he buys the Chocobaby he’s sure Thomas won’t call him out for it. But Atsumu might, if he gets jumpy enough and his brain decides to latch onto it. And Sakusa definitely will. And even if neither of those things happen, who will eat it?

Shuugo sighs. “No, Thomas,” he says, stands up, brushes off the front of his pants. He grabs a bag of mini M&Ms resolutely, dumps it in their cart. “He does.”

“He does?” Adriah Thomas, twenty-eight this year and six-foot-seven, tall enough to strike fear in the hearts of most modern modes of transport including the Boeing 377, looks at him quizzically.

“You’re surprisingly dense, Thomas.” Shuugo takes over his chauffeur service for the time being and wheels their cart down the aisle towards the frozen goods section. His starting lineup may not be fond of tiny unimpressive chocolate pellets but he knows for a fact that ice cream will make the next week that much more bearable. “Maybe that’s how you got this far in life.”

“What does that mean, Meian-san?”

“C’mon. Let’s get more peach purunto.”

NINTENDO SWTICH???????????? @m_tsumu

instagram user @joshokfine is the only remaining source of stability in my life. be like joshokfine. be better.

It starts pouring just a little shy of four in the morning on Saturday. Ordinarily one would be awake to witness this but they’ve been stuck up here for four weeks now, or maybe five, or maybe twenty-seven. No one sleeps when they’re expected to anymore except for Sakusa, who has packed enough moisturizing face masks to last him through the second coming of Christ.

So it starts raining and then the wind starts screaming and the windows start yelling and Shuugo is in the kitchen pouring himself something like his seventh cup of sake with sparkling fuji apple juice when Atsumu shows up at the end of the hallway in a giant pink quilt.

“Meian-san,” he croaks.

“Morning,” Shuugo says cheerfully, toasting him from the kitchen counter.

“It’s raining.”

“Yes.”

“It’s thundering.”

“Yes.”

“I can’t sleep.”

Shuugo sets his glass down. He combs a hand through his hair and cringes. When was the last time he showered? Yes. No? He removes himself from the kitchen, steps out into the dim orange light of the living room. Atsumu has designer eye bags and designer eye bags beneath his designer eye bags. The kid looks like he’s been through hell. Or had a nightmare about it. Or had a nightmare about something else, like a pandemic or Raymond from Animal Crossing or breaking up with his boyfriend in the middle of a pandemic while still being without Raymond from Animal Crossing.

Shuugo wipes his hand off on his shirt and clears his throat. “What can I do for you?”

The lodge is fucking huge. That was the first thought Shuugo had when they’d finally finished lugging all their shit up the side of the mountain and Thomas’ old Toyota had been parked in the clearing outside and Sakusa and Atsumu were arguing loudly about optimal bathtub water temperatures just beyond the front door. Seriously, Shuugo mused, craning his neck, this lodge is fucking huge. The living room was not a living room so much as it was a giant open space with a vaulted, three-storey ceiling and spiraling staircases that led off on each side to narrower, but equally majestic, hallways. Carved into the eastern wall of the first floor was a large, industry-grade kitchen which contained a walk-in fridge and a brick kiln. In the center of the floor was a floral sofa.

They argued over whether the space that the sofa, and the accompanying automated projector screen and thirty-nine succulents, occupied should be called a living room at all. This went on for the first few days. In the interim Shouyou and Thomas explored the kitchen and Atsumu explored setting the kitchen on fire. Atsumu also explored the door at the end of the northern hallway on the third floor, and discovered the hidden walk-in closet that probably hadn’t been opened since the economic bubble burst in the early 90s. Bokuto explored the attic above the third floor via a trap-door in the ceiling and declared that it was haunted. Inunaki drank peach purunto. Sakusa found a hornet's nest in the woods nearby and tried to bring it back.

They never did get to have the full-blown debate about whether the sofa space should be called a living room, because by the start of the second week or the third or maybe the tenth, maybe the eighteenth, the world had stumbled backwards into the figurative hornet's nest of life itself. It emerged from the immediate aftermath covered in burns and uglier burns and violent, angry scrapes. As China began to pull itself together by the seams its neighbors both immediate and distantly-related began to show symptoms, keeling over in the dystopian-movie-dust.

Come April, they were all in the thick of it. Of what, you ask? No one knew. But they sure were.

There’s something about rain and nighttime that demands your attention. Shut away in your highrise apartments and your suburban houses, your grandmother’s old Japanese-style estate; shut away at home with the lights on and the world off, the world cordoned out; the rain is the only thing that reaches you. The sound of it. The pitter-patter. The footsteps.

Meian Shuugo invites the rain to shut the fuck up as he herds his starting setter to the sofa. Atsumu has been going through it for a while now. They all know this, the way they know he talks to his twin on Zoom some nights because he doesn’t care for private user information and what happens to his. However, no one mentions it because unlike Bokuto, Atsumu has discovered the wall socket in his room, and decided to use it.

“Shouyou’s asleep,” Atsumu explains and for the hundredth time or maybe the thousandth, he doesn’t think numbers are real anymore, Shuugo marvels at how tenderly he says Shouyou’s name. If someone had said his name like that when he was twenty-three Shuugo would have driven off immediately and bought them a ring or challenged them to a Beyblade fight. He wonders if Shouyou will do either of those things one day. If he’ll get the chance to.

Shuugo hums. The star of the lodge, beyond the brick kiln with the unidentifiable bones and the thirty-eight succulents, is the chandelier hanging from the vaulted ceiling. Usually it’s bright as ass but it’s raining outside today and it’s four, so they’ve got the lighting mode set to Orange And Moody. Which, Shuugo gathers, seems to be the correct setting.

Atsumu opens his mouth, still wrapped up in the giant pink quilt that he probably stole from the hidden walk-in closet. “I’m being an asshole right now, aren’t I?” he asks, uncharacteristically quiet.

“Not right now right now, if that’s what you’re talking about—”

“—Meian-san.” Atsumu is unimpressed and he shows it too much. If he wants to look unimpressed he should look dimly unimpressed or at most vaguely unimpressed, or he’ll come off as being over-invested in the whole affair. Granted, the kid’s always been bad at handling his emotions. But this is a moment of what Shuugo recognizes to be shaky vulnerability. Even for Miya Atsumu.

Shuugo smiles. “Yeah?”

“That’s not funny.” Atsumu sinks further into the sofa, vanishing between two very large floral cushions.

No, Shuugo has half a mind to say. You’re not very funny. I try not to tell you that because Sakusa says it enough for all of us but really, most of your jokes suck.

“Well,” Shuugo says instead, thoughtful. “What does being an asshole mean to you?”

“Uh. An inconvenience?”

“What does the current situation look like to you?”

“An inconvenience?”

Shuugo claps his hands together and then winces in very quick succession. If he’s judging this right then there’s a high chance Inunaki’s still awake thinking about the Izakaya they went to last December, and Bokuto might still be in the attic. He should stop.

“That’s right,” says Shuugo, not stopping. “If being an asshole is about being an inconvenience then the whole world’s being inconvenienced right now. In general. Does this look like optimal functioning to you?” He gestures broadly around him and hopes that Atsumu doesn’t think he’s pointing at the thirty-eight succulents.

“Because it isn’t. Everyone’s tired, Atsumu. Everyone wants things to start getting better.

“So given that we’re basically living in the asshole of the universe right now, I don’t think you’re being an asshole. Do I wish you’d stop listening to Old Town Road while doing the dishes? Yes. But do I wish Thomas and Inunaki would stop pretending they never want to see each other’s faces again off-court like the two main leads in a Korean drama? Yes. Do I wish I were at home right now in Tokyo with Mai and Kenta and Kohki? Of course.

“But no one gives a damn about what I want in the asshole of the universe. So no one gives a damn about you either.” Shuugo reaches for his sake. “What I’m trying to say is: buy your switch.”

He takes a sip of his sparkling fuji apple sake thing. He’s good at holding his liquor but the alcohol’s loosened his tongue and the rain isn’t letting up and it’s late or it’s early, depending on who you ask. Depending on who you are, and what you’re afraid of. He wonders if Atsumu’s still thinking about the thirty-eight succulents. The thirty-ninth has been missing for a few weeks now. No one knows for how long exactly. Time, remember?

Atsumu furrows his brows. He seems to be thinking very intently about something. Shuugo hopes it’s the fate of the universe.

“So, the Animal Crossing edition,” he says slowly, the color returning to his cheeks. “Do you think I should get that one?”

Around them the rain continues to fall. Every once in a while a bolt of lightning comes within an arm’s breadth of their tiny sanctuary away from the world and the toilet paper shortages and all the suffering and cruelty and unfairness. It lands at their feet. Light erupts from the ground like a star splitting in half and sticks to their faces, their hands, their teeth. For half a second, the interior of the lodge turns so white, it almost blinds them.

Shuugo wakes up at five in the evening on the sofa. His toes aren’t frozen solid the way they were the last time he fell asleep on the sofa. He sits up. Something pink and fluffy slides off his chest.

Inunaki is yelling at Thomas from the second floor. They’ve made an error in the toilet paper calculations, or someone’s used up all eight rolls in a week, or both. Inunaki’s disappointed and upset and he wants to get out of the bathroom. And he wants to talk about the Izakaya incident. And he wants a peach purunto.

Shuugo scrubs the heel of his hand down his face. He stretches his arms over his head. Then he rolls off the sofa with the quilt still drawn tight around his shoulders like a cape. And so begins another day in the life of Meian Shuugo, father and husband and professional volleyball player, and motivational speaker, and friend.

A conversation between Shouyou and Atsumu, as overheard by Bokuto who was taking a really big dump in (Sakusa’s bathroom) (but don’t tell him that) (no one tell Sakusa anything no really I will sic my ghost on you):

(Shouyou, I have something to tell you.)

(Let me guess. You ordered the switch.)

(Huh????? How the fuck do you know I ordered the switch.)

(You talked to Meian-san, didn’t you?)

(What the fuck. Are you telepathic?)

(No, Atsumu. I’m your boyfriend.)

A conversation between Thomas and Inunaki, as overheard by Atsumu who was hiding from his demons in (Sakusa’s bathroom) (who the fuck owns a bathroom anyway) (this is a communal household) (I am not hiding from my demons I am engaged in an act of civil protest):

(Inunaki-san.)

(I know you’re not the one who finished all the peach purunto.)

(Oh. Okay.)

In a surprising twist of events Sakusa has not only brought enough moisturizing face masks to last him until the second coming of Christ, but also stashed a metric fuckton of toilet paper in his second bathroom.

“I knew you would disappoint us some day,” he says neutrally to Thomas, who goes off to cry in front of the barbecue pit for twenty minutes.

“It was partially my fault too,” Shuugo says, feeling apologetic for some reason.

Sakusa watches Thomas go with the face of a merciless, unsmiling god. “But mainly his.”

In spite of the hornet's nest he tried to bring back in the first week, Sakusa consents to the public use of his second bathroom. He deletes the contract he made Atsumu sign that had previously prevented him from legally entering, but refuses to let them port the twenty-four toilet paper rolls jammed under his sink to any of the other bathrooms. It’s a personal thing, he says while peeling his third milk honey face mask of the day off with his fingertips. Who are they to complain? It’s his toilet paper.

Regardless, the toilet paper doesn’t grant him immunity from Meian Shuugo, who despite his stunning alcohol consumption record is in fact still the parental supervision figure in this household. This gives Shuugo certain rights such as the right to walk into rooms without knocking, though he’s decided to stop doing that and become a better person, and the right to use the barbecue pit after ten. Also, if he says they’re going to have a Ghibli movie night, they’re going to have a Ghibli movie night.

They have the Ghibli movie night. On Sunday. Or Friday. Or whatever. Whatever. They have it.

When Shuugo was a kid his family would sit on their ugly living room couch and watch Ghibli movies together instead of working through their disagreements with transparency and care. This is partially why Shuugo was not a kid for as long as most kids, but he can tell you exactly which scene comes after the fat cat in The Cat Returns gets stuck in the giant vat of pink Jell-o. He can also tell you, with full confidence, that Ghibli movies will do things to you. What kind of things, you ask? Does it matter?

Once again, they head into the hidden walk-in closet on the third floor and return with piles of blankets, quilts, and a bag of Calbee chips without an expiry date. On the way out Shuugo notices shuffling from above him and discovers, for the first and hopefully last time in his life, Bokuto Koutarou in the attic having a serious conversation with an owl.

“His name is Aka,” says Bokuto.

“Very sly of you,” says Shuugo. “I’m not going to ask why there’s an owl up here.”

“He only visits sometimes.”

“Okay. Great.”

Bokuto follows him downstairs. Shuugo picks a feather out of his hair and wonders if this is what zookeepers feel like. They collect Sakusa from his bedroom after peeling off twelve honey-and-lavender face masks, and make a stop at Thomas' room. The door creaks open after a few seconds and Inunaki sticks his head out. His hair is tousled and his eyes are puffy.

“What do you want,” he says.

“We’re having a movie night.” Shuugo resists the urge to pat his head. He may be turning thirty this year but sometimes he feels like he’s eighty-five and everyone else on his team is four and he has to do something to make sure they grow up right.

Inunaki follows him and Sakusa and Bokuto down the stairs and Thomas sneaks out of the room afterwards when he thinks no one is looking. They are actually all looking and rightfully so, seeing as it is Thomas’ room they just stopped by and Inunaki should not have been there at all. But no one says anything. Thomas tip-toes down the stairs in all his Boeing 377 glory. Inunaki goes to the fridge.

Shouyou and Atsumu have returned from the hidden walk-in closet and have started building a fort in front of the projector screen. The process consists of Atsumu lying face-down on the floor, motionless, while Shouyou throws things with a hardness rating of less than five at him: a blanket, a stuffed Pikachu, a bolster.

“What movie are we starting with,” Atsumu asks.

Shuugo salutes him from the kitchen even though Atsumu can’t see him. “Princess Mononoke.”

Atsumu lifts his head for a moment and stares past the floor-to-ceiling window to the other side of the world, where he is having the time of his life in Florence.

“Good,” he says. Then Shouyou throws a slightly larger stuffed Pikachu at him, and he disappears from sight.

In Atsumu’s words, everything sucks like fucking shit. In Sakusa’s words, everything’s piss-awful. In Thomas' words everything is sort of unbearable and in Inunaki’s words where is the peach purunto. In Bokuto’s words Akaashi the shounen manga editor is more stressed than the entirety of Japan combined and needs some time to himself. In Shuugo’s words, ew. Ew, ew, ew.

“Ew,” Atsumu says when the mountain god’s head gets decapitated and the screen fills up with the blue liquid-y stuff that mountain gods are apparently made of. Inunaki gives him a look that’s so utterly and completely disgusted that Atsumu excuses himself from being Shouyou’s armrest and stands up.

“You wanna fight, Inunaki-san? You wanna fight?”

Inunaki does not detach himself from Thomas’ cashmere sweater. “No.”

“Atsumu, I can’t see the screen,” Shouyou says sleepily, and Atsumu’s expression does a one-eighty off a cliff and dies.

“Oh. Sorry.”

It’s three in the morning by the time they get to the fifth movie. Or is it six? Shuugo decides it doesn’t matter and then pulls a fast one on all of them by putting in Grave of the Fireflies which, Sakusa complains, is too dry for this time of the year. In spite of that, Sakusa is the only one who manages to watch it from start to finish, his eyes glued to the screen while he files his nails discreetly in his corner of the sofa. Beside him Inunaki has fallen asleep against Thomas’ shoulder and Thomas has fallen asleep against the headrest, Sakusa having pushed him gingerly off of him half an hour ago. Bokuto is snoring loudly with his face in Inunaki’s armpit. Beside Bokuto Atsumu is asleep with his head in Shouyou’s lap, and Shouyou is mumbling something incoherently about rice.

Meian Shuugo reaches for the remote control and turns the projector off.

“You should go to sleep too,” he tells Sakusa. He reaches for the blankets and begins to drape them carefully over the sofa in criss-crossing patterns.

Sakusa yawns. “When do you think this will end.”

Shuugo shrugs. “Eventually.”

Sakusa inclines his head, then stands up and stretches. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for us.” He collects his belongings from the coffee table and goes to the kitchen for water.

“No, thank you for the toilet paper.”

“Self-preservation skills. You learn them early on in life when you’re me.”

They stop having the Animal Crossing Debate because Atsumu’s switch arrives next week, delivered by a courier in an inflatable T-Rex costume who says he’s here on god’s business. But they keep going with the whiteboard and the six p.m. discussions and everyone jammed up on the big sofa in the living room. It still doesn’t feel like a living room and the lodge still feels like a castle, complete with ghosts and unidentifiable bones and the ouija board Sakusa’s smuggled away to his room. But when they roll up all the curtains, the floor-to-ceiling windows start communicating with god or something, and the sun does a cool break-and-enter routine that ends in fireworks. Everything it touches goes up in flames. It’s kind of beautiful.

“Today’s question.” Thomas raps the whiteboard they stole from the hidden walk-in closet weakly. “Should we have spaghetti for dinner?”

Atsumu looks up from his switch, and Shouyou follows. “Did you read my tweet?”

“Atsumu. I follow you on Twitter.”

“Oh.” Atsumu looks back down at his switch. On Shouyou’s insistence he’s recently downloaded Kirby Star Allies. He is surprisingly into it.

Inunaki raises his hand. “Objection your honor,” he says. “I don’t think we should have spaghetti for dinner because it sucks.”

Thomas makes a face at him. It doesn’t really work because he’s six-foot-seven and wearing a Victorian suit he found in the hidden walk-in closet, but apparently it works for Inunaki, who repeats, with more conviction, “it sucks.”

“It does not suck,” Thomas insists. He begins to lean against the whiteboard in an unconscious bid to look like he’s not emotionally affected by Inunaki’s words.

“Can we have rice,” Sakusa says. “We’re Japanese.”

“I’m not Japanese.”

“You’re Inunaki’s boyfriend. Honorary Japanese.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Sure it is,” says Bokuto, who is back to texting Akaashi for the time being instead of calling him on Skype. He now carries a power bank and a cable with him everywhere. To the bathroom. To the barbecue pit. To the woods.

“Why don’t we have both?” Shouyou suggests. Shouyou is the literal and metaphorical light of their lives right now, although Sakusa would be hard-pressed to admit it unless they gave him another bathroom. Shouyou also comes up with some of the most god-awful ideas sometimes. Like inviting everyone to a lodge in the mountains during the off-season and getting them trapped in a major historical event. Like trying to live each day to the best of his ability as if he’s Rapunzel from Disney’s Tangled and not twenty-three and severely, inhumanely sleep-deprived. He still wakes up at five-thirty every morning. Shuugo asked him about it once. He said he needed the time to meditate.

“Why don’t you just meditate later?” Shuugo went on, hanging over the back of the sofa and watching Shouyou channel his inner Buddha of peace for something like the third time that week. The sun had not yet risen but it was beginning to put in efforts towards it. A thin strip of gold ran horizontally between the land and the sky, dividing them in jagged and uneven strokes.

“It’s not the same,” Shouyou said, exhaling through his mouth, eyes closed. Shuugo wondered briefly if he was bothering him, then figured that Shouyou would tell him if he was.

“I need to be awake each morning to make sure the world’s still there. To say good morning.”

Shuugo picked idly at the upholstery. “What happens if you aren’t there?”

“Who knows,” Shouyou laughed, brilliantly and confidently, and in that moment Shuugo understood for the first time in his life how he alone had not succumbed to the timeless insanity of quarantine. Perhaps in another life Shouyou had been born tall and powerful and with the kind of instinct and skill that Kageyama Tobio carried around on his shoulders all day. In this one, he had seen the second coming of Christ once already, and built himself a new skin in its wake.

It was the routines. The morning meditation and the rolled eggs and the five-hour-nap in Atsumu’s room. The evening runs through the woods and the card games at night. It was Atsumu’s Animal Crossing Debate and the chaos that always followed, the chaos that generally followed the MSBY Black Jackals everywhere they went, as if they had been born into incredulity and outrageousness and passion. Passion for their sport. Passion for life itself.

They aren’t professional adults. No one ever becomes a professional adult. They try to be professional siblings and children and lovers, professional commuters and pastry chefs and shopping cart pushers. They try to leave their suburban neighborhoods and the boys they never get to see again behind. They try to be kind to themselves, even as the world begins to slide resolutely off a cliff.

And they fail. And everything sucks. And everything’s sort of unbearable right now. Even Sakusa has stopped checking his phone religiously. They’d rather watch Grave of the Fireflies ten more times than put on NHK news.

So ew. Ew at the present state of the universe. Ew at Shuugo’s hair. Ew at the amount of money Atsumu spent on his Animal Crossing switch which came with a tempered glass screen protector and the Animal Crossing pouch and the Animal Crossing: New Horizons game and a laminated mini-poster of Raymond.

And fine. Because what else can they do now but shut up and keep going? If there’s a God up there he’s definitely laughing at them with his hands full of nail clippers and clean surgical masks and health, cash, all the forgiveness the world needs right now. He’s probably making coffee as they run themselves into the ground, as they run their rivers dry.

So everything’s been going to shit for a while now. You’d think they’d get used to it, but they still haven’t. Which is to say that they’re still angry enough to fall in love and expect something to happen. Which is to say that they haven't given up on their dream of finding a ghost in the hidden walk-in closet. Which is to say that, in spite of the toilet paper shortages and the hornet's nest and the weepy sake parties, all the fucking weepy sake parties, there’s hope.

Are you sure you’ll be okay?

(The sound of rain, laughter, a ball hitting the ground.)

Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.

16 notes · View notes

temarisnara · 4 years

Note

for the meme: naruto, sakura, sasuke, kakashi

THANK YOU!!!!!!!

naruto

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (i haven’t actually thought too much about these so i’m going with my gut here but dicey and i were talking tonight about the generational difference between naruto and jiraiya when it comes to loyalty. jiraiya grew up in a time of war and is a solider, he was trained to be loyal to the village. if it came down to it, he’d kill even tsunade if she betrayed the village. naruto is loyal to people. if sakura betrayed the village, he would never give up on her, just like he never gave up on sasuke. naruto wants to protect the village because the village is where the people he loves live. naruto’s entire narrative arc is about bonds so i’m pretty sure he’s a hufflepuff) best quality: god i just wrote a fucking essay above about it- his loyalty and bonds to other people. everyone he meets is now his friend whether they like it or not ! he was just such a lonely kid, desperate for attention, for love, for acknowledgement, anything at all. and it would’ve been so easy for him to sit in that, to let himself hate the village, to resent them- but he didn’t. he set out to prove them wrong and he did. he is so, so, so fucking good. worst quality: HIS TASTE IN MEN. okay like, on the real, it’s not his fault and boruto isn’t real but it’s such UTTER BULLSHIT that the entire fucking series he met these people who got fucked over by the village status quo and he promised them he was going to change it when he became hokage and he fucking didn’t. its BULLSHIT. it’s not his fault, that’s not him, but GOD i’m MAD. ship them with: SAKURA, sasuke, gaara, shikamaru, sai, kiba, hinata. brotp them with: SAKURA- in fact all of the above list. he has great dynamics with them. also, kakashi, iruka, jiraiya, tsunade, choji, i like to imagine his and ino’s dynamic as fucking hilarious when they’re older. oh and i want him and karin to be annoying cousins together like PLEASE i DESERVE THIS. needs to stay away from: STOP SHIPPING HIM WITH KAKASHI!!!!!!!! ENOUGH!!!!! GO TO JAIL!!!!!!!!! misc. thoughts: that’s my fucking BABY i’ve shed SO MANY TEARS over this blonde idiot. he’s so good.

sakura

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (again, havent thought about it before now, but my gut SCREAMs gryffindor. she’s so...punchy, and head strong, and hard working. just like. all the gryffindor traits!) best quality: sakura’s character development lives rent free in my head. like. okay. sakura always had potential. she ranked high in her classes, she had better chakra control than naruto or sasuke, mastered things quicker than them, was observant and book smart. but physically and emotionally, she was weak! she could not hold her own in battle the way naruto or sasuke could, and often her fear got in the way, if not straight up controlled her. when naruto and sasuke fought, she could do nothing but beg them to stop. when sasuke left the village, he easily knocked her out. and sakura knew she was the weak link of team 7. so she resolved to get stronger. she sought out tsunade and trained with her for four years. and like, tsunade is an insane person. sakura would break her bones and tsunade would have her keep training and just heal them later. she mastered healing. she mastered chakra control. she developed fucking superhuman strength. she refused to be the weak link anymore, to just sit back helplessly while naruto and sasuke fought. she’s from a civilian family, she has NOTHING in terms of innate ninja abilities like literally everyone else in her class, but she became the strongest female ninja of her generation and surpassed her legendary sannin mentor through sheer hard work and determination. FUCK. she’s so cool. worst quality: again, this is NOT HER FAULT, it’s bad sexist writing, but sakura is such a fun and obnoxious character who matches naruto beat for beat, but when sasuke comes around she’s a shell of herself. even when she’s MARRIED TO HIM she doesn’t act like herself. she’s reverted back to that inflatuated 12 year old she’s long outgrown! bro, WHAT! ship them with: NARUTO AND INO. and. ok. listen. i’ve become soft for sasuke/sakura’s potential. if sakura got to be herself with sasuke, they’d be, at the very least, FUN. and sasuke/naruto/sakura is so fun. also rock lee is so sweet, i would not have been mad if they’d been endgame. brotp them with: NARUTO AND INO. kakashi, tsunade, hinata, rock lee. needs to stay away from: STOP!!! SHIPPING!!! KAKASHI!!! WITH!!! HIS!!! STUDENTS!!!!!!! misc. thoughts: i knew i would love sakura. look at her. she has pink hair and she punches things. 10/10. but she quickly, quickly became not just my favorite naruto character, but one of my favorite characters in all of shounen anime. the ball was dropped with her, multiple times, but she’s still such a dynamic fucking character with the best character development.

sasuke

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life | there aren’t words to describe how i feel about him hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (sasuke is...hard. i think the argument for gryffindor could also be made, but i’m leaning towards slytherin) best quality: i’m so tired. the thing about sasuke is....he deserved so much better than he got. i can’t tell you what his best quality is because his entire character arc is him being self destructive. he’s not fucking well!!!! the good parts of him he either tries to snuff out, or the story glosses over them to show how far he’s fallen. I think, the one good quality that refused to die, is his protectiveness. Him protecting Naruto in the Zabuza arc was such a pivotal moment for him, for his and Naruto’s relationship, for Team 7, for the story. It was the moment where everything changed. He was so desperate to protect Naruto from Itachi, he was super protective of Sakura in the forest of death, and even in Shippuden, he’s protective of team Taka, and unfortunately the moment I finally broke and said fuck it, I love Sasuke, is when he protected Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi from the infinite tsukiyomi. worst quality: his extremism lmao like. god. again, dicey and i have talked about this, how characters who challenge the status quo are portrayed as ~crazy~ and extremists so yet again, its BAD WRITING but also PROPAGANDA! god. but like, i’m sorry, fuck the village but he wanted to go after people who were not involved in what happened to Itachi. I understand his anger, but I wish the narrative had treated it and him with respect rather than throwing a fucking dart at a board to decide what Sasuke’s character arc was going to be about this week! ship them with: naruto, suigetsu, juugo, and again, lowkey sakura. brotp them with: naruto, sakura, kakashi, team taka, itachi needs to stay away from: STOP SHIPPING HIM WITH HIS TEACHER AND BROTHER. YALL. misc. thoughts: i’m so fucking tired. what was kishimoto trying to do with him! i don’t understand! sasuke was right! he was fully right to hate the village, to demand change. why did kishimoto have the village repeatedly doing heinous, evil things, validating sasuke’s resentment, but sasuke was portrayed as being in the wrong. ALSO, the ENTIRE. FUCKING. POINT. of naruto is bonds, and how important friendship and love is, and sasuke’s entire GODDAMN NARRATIVE is about him breaking those bonds to become stronger, and destroying himself in the process, and everyone he loves telling him this isn’t the right path, and FINALLY he accepts it- and then in boruto he’s JUST. ALONE? HE HASNT MET HIS DAUGHTER IN 12 YEARS WHEN FAMILY WAS SO IMPORTANT TO HIM???? I HATE IT. I HATE IT. THIS IS SO BAD. SASUKE DESERVED BETTER.

kakashi

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