#but anyway that's content for another post

[cr4yolaas]

to be fragile — iwaizumi hajime

synopsis: to be gentle is foreign to iwaizumi hajime. you teach him through the seasons.

content: angst, bittersweet fluff. fast burn. implied childhood friends (rdr and iwa). pre-relationship, implied post-relationship at the end. timelines are probably incorrect (i haven’t read the manga in a long time). iwaizumi is probably ooc. gender neutral reader. miscommunication and pushing each other away. coworker akaashi. not proofread.

notes: this was a spur of the moment fic. the pacing is very very swift and somewhat cheesy and i kinda just blew through everything in one go, because i didn't really plan any of this out LOL. hope u enjoy :)

SPRING, 2014

Iwaizumi had always been rough around the edges.

From youth, his shoulders had been burdened with the weight of the world, a result of his overbearing desire to be reliable. It grew increasingly evident as he aged. Even more so when he faced you in the middle of the airport.

“Are you not going to say anything?”

He turned around, his luggage following suit. The crowd swayed around you.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, his gaze cast to the floor. “I just thought-”

“Hajime.”

Iwaizumi was not delicate. He was not fragile, nor gentle, nor vulnerable. But the call of his name from your lips rendered him a fool.

He watched as you approached him, your fists tight around the strap of your bag. “I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me anything.” Your footsteps came to a clean halt before him. “I’m sorry if I did something that made you uncomfortable to share this with me. But if all this — pushing me away and leaving without so much as a goodbye — is because you thought it would be better, I don’t want to hear it.”

He bit the inside of his cheek, pretending you didn’t read his intentions. His hand found its way to the hem of his shirt, a tell of his anxiety.

Another apology spilled from his tongue, this time quieter, softer. He braced himself for impact: for tears, for a harsh scolding, anything. Instead, he found himself in your embrace.

“I’m upset you didn’t say anything. But,” you paused, your grip around him tightening. “If you’re happy, I’m happy. Just text me, okay?”

Iwaizumi could only nod. He watched as you released yourself, allowing your fists to return your bag and your eyes to drift away. He waved goodbye, in silence, when you turned around and walked towards the exit. He sat with a heavy heart when your figure was no longer visible, and all he had left to do was wait at his gate.

The promise of a brighter future — one full of success, and passion, and growth — was impossible for Iwaizumi to turn away. Even if it meant casting aside his heart and leaving it in Japan to ache. Even if it meant shouldering the burden of being alone. He never wanted you to see it, in fear of you harboring distaste for him.

When he sat in the plane, Iwaizumi Hajime chewed at his cheek, once more, for he realized he had hurt you in exchange.

FALL, 2019

Against the pleas of his friends, Iwaizumi refused to celebrate his return to Japan. Instead, he found himself searching for you.

His feet were heavy against the asphalt, each second of contact solidifying the gravity of the moment. You sent him your address before he boarded the plane, but before that, there was minimal contact, save for awkward messages checking in on one another out of obligation. Regardless, the dull ache in his chest strung him to your front door.

You opened the door before he could knock.

"Hajime?" you whispered, the syllables of his name seeping from the cracks between your teeth all too easily.

He didn't know where to put his hands, didn't know how to look at you. His fingers found solace in the inseam of his hoodie pocket (which was barely hanging on). The speech he had written during his flight had slipped from his mind, leaving him silent.

You welcomed him in anyways. You had a tendency to do that — to accept him without question. Even if it felt wrong.

"Take a seat anywhere," you spoke, although your attention was elsewhere. The hum of the kettle was the only noise in the room, save for the shuffling of your slippers against the tile or the buzz of the air conditioning. A packet of green tea sat in each mug.

You sat parallel to him. As if to calm your nerves, your hands made their way around the porcelain, the heat of the tea spreading throughout your palms. Iwaizumi slouched in his seat, taking small sips from his mug to make himself look busy. To conceal his fear.

"How was it?"

His eyes darted up to yours, then to the side, then back down to his tea. "It was different. It's warmer there, and the people are louder. I met a lot of good people there, though. I think you would've liked it."

A hum reverberated in your throat. You didn't know how to convey it: your joy at his return, at the fact that you were the first person he chose to see, at him being within arm's reach.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I shouldn't have left like that. I felt like shit afterwards." I missed you.

You smiled warmly, the upturn of your lips filling his lungs with burning hot ichor. "It's alright. I got over it, anyways. I'm just happy you're back." I missed you, too. "What do you plan on doing now?"

"I'm gonna start working with the men's national team, as their trainer. I think I'll-"

"No, I meant, do you have a place to stay? Food to eat?"

He looked away, again, before shaking his head ashamedly. You laughed at his chagrin, your chin slotting itself into your palm. "Stay with me, then."

✧.*

A week passed. Iwaizumi wedged himself back into your life, with ease, after disappearing for five years. Your routine made room for him, now — grocery shopping, for two; breakfast, for two; laundry, for two. You did your best to ensure that he was comfortable, that the guilt from years ago would wash away. And yet, despite your efforts, he was cold. Distant, almost, even though he was around you all the time.

You feared the worst. That, while away, he realized how little he enjoyed your presence. That he wouldn't contact you again once he settled back in completely. That the silly feelings you had burrowed in the underwater reservoir of your heart would resurface, only to be shut down.

His voice in the kitchen pulled you out of your thoughts. You laid on the couch in silence, the calls of your name doing little to quell your worries. "I found an apartment close to my job," he muttered, the words blending in with the stream of water from the sink. "I'll be ready to move out within a few days. I'll let you know when."

"So soon?" you responded absentmindedly.

You watched him pivot towards you, his face blank but his eyes telling. "What do you mean?"

"I feel like I've seen you for such a small amount of time, and you're already leaving. Again." You sat up and met his gaze, calculative as ever. A sigh unleashed itself from his lips, the glass in his hands meeting the countertop.

"I don't want to rely on you too much," he whispered. "I can't. I just- I need to steady myself first." He nibbled at the flesh inside his cheek when you frowned. "I'm sorry. I just don't want to force you to take care of me. You don't have to do that."

"It's not a burden, really. I'm happy to be here for you, I'm happy to even see you after so long. I don't want you to feel like you have to rush yourself into everything."

Iwaizumi shook his head softly, his decision finalized long before the conversation had begun. He escaped to his room before you could protest. His heart sung of somber tunes and a loneliness he could not describe, a result of his never-ending guilt upon leaving you time and time again. He could not help the white hot tears staining his cheeks, nor the heavy breaths escaping his throat. Calloused hands pawed away at his eyes, and once again, Iwaizumi realized he had hardened himself far too much for your liking. He was always too far, too absent. He hated it. And yet, he felt it was necessary; he felt like he would lose himself if he allowed for a moment of rest.

"Hajime?" your voice called from outside his door. "I'll help you pack, okay? Just know I'm here. I'm always here."

He loathed how vulnerable you left him. He hated the fluttering in his stomach, the airiness in his head, the warmth of his skin from every word you spoke. It was a foreign taste on his tongue, one he wished to wash away every time it bubbled to the surface, but it haunted him endlessly. Distance would make him feel less weird, less weak, he figured.

Within a day, Iwaizumi Hajime had moved out of your apartment, this time leaving a small letter thanking you for your care and a bill that was much too unreasonable.

SUMMER, 2020

The heat beat down on your back in waves. Pinpricks of sweat cascaded down your back, evidence of your growing exhaustion.

In the heart of Tokyo, beneath a canopy of trees that accompanied each bustling building and towering skyscraper, a cafe nestled itself in the middle of a busy shopping district. You stood behind the bar five days a week, from nine to five, like clockwork. Akaashi Keiji — a face you barely knew from glances in high school — stood beside you every shift. He spoke minimally, save for rambles shared during late nights in which you were both tired and overwhelmed; all you knew of him was his career as an editor and his tendency to overthink. That was all you needed. Nothing more.

Iwaizumi's name hadn't left your lips since the day he left. The pieces of his being drifted away from you all too naturally. The lack of explanation left too much room for assumption — you believed he hated you or had something to hide from you, anything of that sort. But his existence lingered every now and then — mentions of his work on the news, an ad promoting the Men's National Volleyball Team, a post on social media with his account tagged in it. Efforts to abandon the taste of him on your tongue were all for naught, for he lived in every dusty corner of your life.

As if to haunt you once more, the television propped up on the wall featured his face, tanned and bright and sweaty, an interview about the team's upcoming match playing out on screen. You looked away. Akaashi's eyes followed yours.

"He talks about you sometimes," the boy muttered. His attention was drawn to the wet glass in his hands, his movements nearly robotic as he dried each curve and bump. "Bokuto tells me about it, on occasion. How your name pops up during practice for no reason whatsoever."

You tilted your head from its spot between your sweaty palms. "What does he say? About me?"

He placed the cup down on the counter, his wet cloth forgotten alongside it. Akaashi leaned against his back against the marble before explaining, "Lots of things, apparently. He says he feels bad for leaving you all the time, something along those lines. Bokuto says he never explains anything further than that, though."

You copied his position, the countertop cold against your back. Your jaw grew tense from how tightly you clenched it. The methodical fidgeting of your fingers against the hem of your shirt kept you calm, each thread of cotton consoling the ache bubbling in your stomach. "I hate that. I just- why can't he talk to me? Why does he feel the need to talk about me?"

Akaashi shook his head. "I don't know. Bokuto doesn't understand it either; he says its cuts into their practice time and it gets worse every other day." You didn't notice the drink he prepared for you in the midst of your conversation. The ice soothed your nerves, and you thanked him softly. "I don't think he hates you, for how much he talks about you. I think he just doesn't know where to put his feelings, or how to handle them."

His analysis forced you into silence. Quietly, you began to clean up the counter together, making room for the evening shift. The interview finally came to a close, and the screen flashed to an advertisement for women's hair care.

The bus ride home — which you routinely shared with Akaashi — was spent in thoughtful stillness. His words cycled through your mind, each statement making its rounds before settling in the depths of your chest. Your stop always came before his, and small waves of goodbye were shared before you began ascending the steps to your apartment.

Iwaizumi's contact burned brightly on your phone screen. You never did block him, despite your desperation to do so, in fear that he would contact you in any way. He never did.

You thumbed the call button, with hesitance. It rang three times in your ear before he picked up, the timber of his voice unfamiliar to you.

"What's up?" he answered, all too casually.

"Come over, please."

✧.*

You sat adjacent to him, cross-legged on the carpet in front of your couch. His knees were strewn up to his chests with heavy arms wrapped around them, akin to a child.

"Akaashi told me about you," you mumbled, the words tumbling out of your mouth in quiet jumbles. "He said you talk about me, a lot."

Iwaizumi looked at you briefly before turning his head away. "Yeah."

"Why do you keep leaving? Without saying anything?"

"I don't want you to see me at my worst," he began, his voice resolute yet wavering with anxiety. "I'm at my weakest when I'm around you. You don't need to see that."

Your lips parted, your shock plastered on your face. "I don't understand." He buried his head into his knees while you rambled on. "I just want you to be comfortable. That's all I've ever wanted — to see you truly at ease, at rest, for once. I don't mind." The words spilled too quickly, too rapidly.

An admission of your affection in the midst of your rant nearly slipped past him. His hands, once lost, found their way to your face, his marred skin rough against yours. Your speech died on your tongue, your breath cutting short and falling to a stop. "Hajime?" you whispered, and again, as always, your call of his name dissolved the composure ingrained deep within his bones.

His lips slotted themselves against yours, naturally, as if he were born to do so. The delicacy was alien to his being, for he had only known resilience for years upon years. As you had wished, he felt relaxed. At ease. Fragile, almost. He let go too soon, his hands returning to the ground and his eyes falling to the floor. An apology fell from his mouth.

He prepared himself for the worst. Instead, you smiled at him, toothily, and promised him that it would be okay. That he was allowed to be vulnerable. And finally, he smiled back, his lips curling up tenfold.

WINTER, 2022

Iwaizumi sat on your couch, his back heavy against the cushions. His arms stretched out before him, and under your gaze, each scar and bruise on his flesh was on display. A bottle of alcohol and a roll of gauze were propped up against your legs.

"How did this happen?" you questioned, a lilt of jest to your voice.

"Got into a fight with a guy," he mumbled, wincing only slightly when the alcohol dropped onto his wounds. "Not on the job, if that's what you're gonna ask. We were out and he said some stupid shit. Had to knock some sense into him."

"Uh huh," you muttered under your breath. You wrapped the bandage around his arm daintily, the pressure just enough for him to breath in. "And look where that got you."

He sighed at your remarks, opting to observe rather than retaliate. Your hands were soft, a contrast to his own, and each ghost of your fingertips against his skin left him dizzy. "All done," you exclaimed quietly. He watched as you stood up from your spot on the ground, all while scooping up each tool into your arms. You disappeared into the bathroom, leaving him alone in your living room, his arms covered with your gauze.

Iwaizumi Hajime was always rough around the edges. To be gentle was unfitting for him, and he had always lived in such a manner. And yet, around you, he found himself seeking fragility. He yearned for each tidbit of sensitivity and vulnerability you rung out of him, for he adored the smile that adorned your lips in return. He had learned delicacy from you. And that was more than enough.

[accio-victuuri]

XZS chongqing vlog candies. 🍬🍭💛

the vlog we’ve been waiting for! thank you xz for always spoiling your fans with not only the photos but moreso the vlogs. i’m still waiting for snaps from that night and hope xzs will provide. safe flight to him and hopefully we will have more content from his trip. in the meantime, we’ll support wyb for weibo movie night.

my favorite edit or parallel related to the vlog is this. both of them doing a convenience store run. i hope they get to do this kind of mundane stuff together — with wyb probably buying a lot of random things. a personal reason tho is i remember being a newer turtle and seeing a very convincing edit of p1 where it showed that they were together. who remembers that? 😂😂😂

it’s not a cpn post without a wardrobe connection and this time it’s stone island! this is a brand that was mostly seen used by WYB. and the best thing is it was worn by our dear shuo shuo!

this is why we frequently clown about them stealing each other’s casual clothes because they use the same brands. aside from what they are endorsing. the shorts xz is wearing looks like a pair with something wyb wore. ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

another couple wear! it’s so sweet!!!!

next one: them doing the same hands behind their back uncle gesture and walk. 🤭🤭🤭

adding to the list of similar “mannerism” that they do.

lastly, this section is about a cpn that’s becoming popular because of a certain line in this vlog and them being in the same city (shanghai) for a very short while. with some even saying that wyb delayed his flight back to beijing for them to spend more time together. the line in the vlog is: “charging complete, let’s go on a new journey.” now in the obvious context of the vlog, it’s him charging in his hometown chongqing and after that he is ready for a new journey ( going to paris ).

a short meet up before wyb goes back home and attends weibo night, in the meantime, xz is supposedly going abroad. people also noticed one thing about their suitcase. before i proceed, just a reminder that i’m really 50/50 about these things cause tracking their luggage may be dangerous if the wrong people see it. those may get stolen in the future if it’s too recognizable as theirs.

so basically, with yibo running around traveling, we see his green luggage. but last night from shanghai then going back, a silver one is added. a luggage that looks suspiciously like xz’s. 🤔🤔🤔

maybe xz asked wyb to take stuff home for him? further proof of the living together cpn. i swear. these two! and wyb suddenly having what looks like an ipad too? is this xz’s? cause he can’t take it or don’t need it abroad?

anyway, the wish we all have is xz to sort of stay a bit longer to coincide with yibo’s paris trip in a few days (allegedly) . our dream of them being abroad together!!!!!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

-END

[nipuni]

Hello! Time for another blog post! I think my last one was two months ago and a lot has happened since 😊

We have been attending a ton of historical recreation events so I still have many photos to share, hope you don't hate those! It's been really fun! We are exhausted and all out of social battery however so we are taking it easy this month. Another thing that's been happening a lot is that even when we are not dressed in historical clothing we keep getting stopped by strangers on the street because of our everyday outfits, it's been like that for a couple of years now so we are no longer startled or nervous about it but it's happening more and more often now and it's so nice! we always end up chatting about the events we go to and our jobs and hobbies and exchanging contacts or they ask for photos and stuff! people are really kind and excited about it and I still find it so surprising in the best way. We grew up in a very hostile city and environment and that makes you paranoid and cynical so these interactions and response has been healing really. I know their words will stick with us for years to come 😭 Sadly the unbearable heat is starting though so that means our outings for the next three months will be limited to the crack of dawn and after sunset 😞 but at least the summer brings a lot of fruit with it so we can sit at home and eat pineapples and strawberries while we wait for autumn.

My family came to visit a few months ago too and we made them watch most of Doctor Who's season one to four and some of our favourite episodes from all the other seasons lmao. And much to our delight they really enjoyed it!! They both loved Ten the most and my step dad is now in love with Martha 🥰

We have also been watching the current season and it's been so fun keeping up with fandom theories in real time and talking about it and speculating with friends in person, it's the first time we get a chance to do it since we got into the series and we are enjoying it a lot!

We also watched season one of Jessica Jones and we loved David's performance as Kilgrave!! He stole the show for real. Kilgrave is such an incredible villain, one of the best I've seen and DT does such an amazing job portraying every aspect of him. He's detestable and volatile and frighteningly powerful and has such an intimidating terrifying presence in the narrative while also being pathetic and vulnerable and ridiculous and childish and so human with all it's worrying implications. It was just so gripping and I wish he had stayed for the rest of the show honestly!! Now we have to pick our next David Tennant series to watch! 😊

Also!! Dragon Age is back!! AHHH I wanted to thank everyone that commented on my last DA pieces, it has made my month to read the comments, I didn't expect so many people to remember my art or my character after so many years and it's so touching and flattering you have no idea 😭💘 I look forward to making more and sharing them with you all, I'm truly grateful for the kindness you've shown me both back then and now I hope you know.

I feel so spoiled lately with all these franchises that I love releasing new content!! I've never been in these many fandoms at once!! I have so many ideas to draw and keep jumping back and forth between drawings from different shows and games AAAAA it's a good and welcome change honestly, keeps me busy and inspired!

Anyway that's all for now I think! I hope you are doing well and this summer/winter is kind to you all ❤️

[potato-lord-but-not]

man I know u had made a poll about patreon a bit ago that kinda had unfortunately low results but as someone who just got to oscar in the podcast and is going insane at the lack of blindfaith content i just want 2 say for the record UM if u ever drew spicy stuff for them on the patreon or anywhere u would have at least one very excited fan. thank u.

you see I w o u l d just find another platform to post stuff like that on free of charge (which who knows I might do anyway) but the thing is….. I’m too embarrassed to even share that with other people you’d literally actually have to pay me.

[babyrdie]

@annie-also-draws

I'm making a new post instead of reblogging because I was afraid this topic would be too long for a reblog lol! For the context of those who came to this post without knowing what we're talking about, it's about this other post here. I'm not going to put exact excerpts of everything I mention because I think the original post covers it.

And as always, my usual reminders:

I'm not a classicist or any other professional of that sort.

Disagree at will.

If you have something to correct or add, comment or reblog.

This post has a lot of details because I know that not everyone in these tags has read The Iliad, but they like to read posts about it, so I think it's good to provide as much content as possible.

But anyway, I guess the idea of Patroclus being sassy comes from Book 16 of The Iliad!

Typical portrayal of Patroclus

Patroclus is generally portrayed as a companion who balances Achilles's flaws: more patient, wise, approachable, and empathetic. This is also why Patroclus must be older than Achilles, because no matter how short the difference is, it's used as an argument for why Patroclus should be the advisor (and therefore the one who is listened to) even though Achilles is the one with more status.

Furthermore, Agamemnon generally had two advisors. One is Odysseus and the other is Nestor. And Nestor, a character portrayed as wise, thought there was a chance of getting to Achilles through Patroclus. This was because he knew that Patroclus would be more willing to listen than Achilles, and he was hopeful that, as he was someone Achilles would normally listen to, there would be a change in attitude. This happens in Book 11.

Nestor also doesn't appear to be the only one to have had this reasoning. Phoenix, also a character more wise than warrior, told the story of Meleager and Cleopatra which is a parallel to the story of Achilles and Patroclus. Although the text doesn't make it clear whether it's a purposeful attitude by the character or just a narrative parallel, I still think it's significant since Patroclus was present in this conversation and therefore heard Phoenix. This happens in Book 9.

Another example of Patroclus acting as a kind of "bridge" between Achilles and other characters is in the only line Briseis has, where she says that Patroclus promised that he would marry her to Achilles. The idea of marrying her captor seems horrible, but we have to remember that in the historical context Briseis would be safer as a legitimate wife than as a slave. I imagine she also didn't know about the prophecy that Achilles would die in Troy, so she probably thought she could ensure a stable life by doing so. This happens in Book 19.

Homer also has other characters emphasize how kind Patroclus was after his death. He also makes it clear that Patroclus was best able to control the agitated temperaments of the divine horses Balius and Xanthus. Overall, in The Iliad he's a controlled and pleasant character. That's why he's often portrayed this way in modern times too —because Patroclus is like that most of the time!

Patroclus' moment of aristeia

However, in Book 16 this doesn't happen. Patroclus isn't controlled, wise, kind or rational in Book 16. In fact, he's the opposite, he's almost a deconstruction of the character. This is ironic, since Patroclus' shining moment is precisely Book 16 — the moment of his aristea, that is, when a character proves to be the aristo, "the best". Ironically, his aristea happens in a setting where his personality isn't his usual self.

Achilles accepts the suggestion to let Patroclus go in his armor, but with one requirement: Patroclus had a limit on how far he could advance and, once he reached that limit, he had to return. He gives two reasons for this:

He's afraid that one of the gods on the Trojan side will kill Patroclus. Ironically, he even mentions Apollo, which later actually kills Patroclus.

He wants him and Patroclus to share the glory. This wouldn't be possible if Patroclus got all the glory. This makes me think that Achilles planned to return to war, even with Patroclus alive…after all, what glory would the two achieve together if not like this (since Achilles knew he wouldn't leave Troy alive)?

"[...] Once you have whipped the enemy from the fleet you must come back, Patrodus. Even if Zeus the thundering lord of Hera lets you seize your glory, you must not bum for war against these Trojans, madmen lusting for battle — not without me — you will only make my glory that much less… You must not, lost in the flush and fire of triumph, slaughtering Trojans outright. drive your troops to Troy— what if one of the gods who never die comes down from Olympus heights to intervene in battle? 110 The deadly Archer loves his Trojans dearly. No. you must turn back— soon as you bring the light of victory to the ships. Let the rest of them cut themselves to pieces on the plain! Oh would to god — Father Zeus. Athena and lord Apollo not one of all these Trojans could flee his death, not one, no Argive either, but we could stride from the slaughter so we could bring Troy's hallowed crown of towers toppling down around us — you and I alone!"

The Iliad, 16.101-119. Translation by Robert Fagles.

Achilles even makes a libation to Zeus, asking Zeus to guide Patroclus in the fight and bring him safely. Zeus accepts the first request, but not the second.

But Achilles strode back to his shelter now and opened the lid of the princely inlaid sea chest that glistening-footed Thetis stowed in his ship to carry, filled to the brim with war-shirts, windproof cloaks and heavy fleecy rugs. And there it rested… his handsome, well-wrought cup. No other man would drink the shining wine from its glowing depths, nor would Achillespour the wine to any other god, none but Father Zeus. Lifting it from the chest he purified it with sulphur crystals first 270 then rinsed it out with water running clear, washed his hands and filled it bright with wine. And then, taking a stand before his lodge, he prayed, pouring the wine to earth and scanning the high skies and the god who loves the lightning never missed a word: "King Zeus — Pelasgian Zeus, lord of Dodona's holy shrine, dwelling far away, brooding over Dodona's bitter winters! Your prophets dwelling round you, Zeus, the Selli sleeping along the ground with unwashed feet… If you honored me last time and heard my prayer 280 and rained destruction down on all Achaea's ranks, now, once more, I beg you, bring my prayer to pass! I myself hold out on shore with the beached ships here but I send my comrade forth to war with troops of Myrmidons— Launch glory along with him, high lord of thunder, Zeus! Fill his hean with courage — so even Hector learns if Patroclus has the skill to fight his wars alone, my friend-in. arms, or his hands can rage unvanquished only when I go wading in and face the grind of battle. aut once he repels the roaring onslaught from the ships 290 let him come back to me and our fast fleet-unharmed wtth all my armor round him, all our comrades fighting round my friend!" So Achilles prayed and Zeus in all his wisdom heard those prayers. One prayer the Father granted, the other he denied: Patrodus would drive the onslaught off the ships — that much Zeus granted, true, but denied him safe and sound return from battle. Once Achilles had poured the wine and prayed to Zeus, he returned to his shelter, stowed the cup in the chest 300 then took his stand outside, his spirit yearning still to watch Achaeans and Trojans struggle to the death.

The Iliad, 16.261-302. Translation by Robert Fagles.

Patroclus killed A LOT of people alone in his aristeia, but not just that. He's also described in a way that you wouldn't associate him with someone with a controlled temper. He doesn't seem like the calculating type of warrior, he seems like a more wild type. It can be said that Patroclus is really bloodthirsty in Book 16.

Hundreds of plunging war-teams dragging chariots down. snapping the yoke-poles. ditched their masters' cars and Patroclus charged them. heart afire for the kill, shouting his Argivesforward — "Slaughter Trojans!" Cries of terror breaking as Trojans choked all roads, 440 their lines ripped to pieces. up from under the hoofs a dust storm swirling into the clouds as rearing horses broke into stride again and galloped back to Troy, leaving ships and shelters in their wake. Patroclus— wherever he saw the biggest masses-dashing before him, there he steered, plowing ahead with savage cries and fighters tumbled out of their chariots headfirst, crushed under their axles. war-cars crashing over, yes, but straight across the trench went his own careering team at a superhuman bound. Magnificent racing stallions. 450 gifts of the gods to Peleus, shining immortal gifts. straining breakneck on as Patroclus' high courage urged him against Prince Hector. keen for the kill but Hector's veering horses swept him clear.

The Iliad, 16.436-454. Translation by Robert Fagles.

He's even compared to Ares, who in The Iliad is very clearly reaffirmed as a bloodthirsty type of deity. Even other gods don't see him in the best light. Although, of course, the comparison with Ares also serves to illustrate the character's warrior ability (in this specific example, speed). Menelaus, for example, receives the association with Ares as well and he's a good warrior..

Three times he charged with the headlong speed of Ares, screaming his savage cry, three times he killed nine men.

The Iliad, 16.912-913. Translation by Robert Fagles.

Achilles is the one remembered for what he did to Hector's corpse, but he wasn't the only Homeric character to wish to do so. He was just the only one who got to the corpse, and that's why he's more memorable. Hector wanted to do the same with Patroclus's corpse, even offering rewards to the Trojan who retrieved the corpse, and before that Patroclus wanted to do the same with Sarpedon after killing him. Hector was unable to do this because Menelaus saved the corpse and bought time for the Achaeans to help recover Patroclus' body. Patroclus also failed to get Sarpedon's corpse, as the Trojans stopped him.

But the Argives surged to Patroclus' savage spirit— he spurred the Aeantes first, both ablaze for battle: 650 "Ajax, Ajaxl Come — now thrill to fight as before, brave among the brave, but now be braver still! Their captain's down, the first to storm our wall, the great Sarpedon. If only we could seize his body, mutilate him, shame him, tear his gear from his back and any comrade of his who tries to shield his corpse— bring that enemy down witn ruthless bronze!"

The Iliad, 16.649.657. Translation by Robert Fagles.

That is, in Book 16, Patroclus attempted to commit the same crime as Achilles. And he would have committed it, if he hadn't been stopped. And while Achilles did this to Hector SPECIFICALLY because of Patroclus, Patroclus wanted to do it to Sarpedon because he "felt entitled" so to speak. It wasn't because he was angry, sad, etc, he was simply feeling like he could do anything.

Remember how I said that Zeus accepted Achilles' first request (to give glory to Patroclus) but not his second (to guarantee safety to Patroclus)? As I've already made clear, he did indeed give the glory, but he didn't guarantee the safety because Zeus is actually one of the reasons for Patroclus' death.

He kept them fixed on the struggling mass forever, the Father's spirit churning, thrashing out the ways, the numberless ways to cause Patroclus' slaughter… To kill him too in this present bloody rampage over Sarpedon's splendid body? Hector in glory cutting Patroclus down with hacking bronze then tearing the handsome war-gear off his back? Or let him take still more, piling up his kills?

The Iliad, 16.751-758. Translation by Robert Fagles.

He did it not because he was being petty or anything like this, it was just that Patroclus was destined to die and Zeus in The Iliad follows what is destined. For example, he wanted to save Sarpedon from Patroclus, but he didn't because Sarpedon had to die. So the reason Zeus quickly refused Achilles' second request is because he knew he couldn't compromise the fate. Later, Zeus declares Hector's destined death for having killed Patroclus. In other words, he's in fact doing this simply because destiny calls for this chain of events. It's not like Zeus wants Sarpedon dead, wants Patroclus dead because he's upset about his son's death, and then declares Hector dead because he suddenly decides he wants to avenge Patroclus.

In Book 8, Zeus is even described with a balance:

But once the sun stood striding at high noon. 80 then Father Zeus held out his sacred golden scales: in them he placed two fates of death that lays men low— one for the Trojan horsemen, one for Argives armed in bronze— and gripping the beam mid-haft the Father raised it high and down went Achaea's day of doom, Achaea's fate settling down on the earth that feeds us all as the fate of Troy went lifting toward the sky.

The Iliad, 8.80-87. Translation by Robert Fagles.

Just going a little off topic to try and contextualize Zeus because I don't want to make it seem like this is a case of "shit, damn Zeus!" His character here is sort of responsible for balance.

Anyway, Zeus chooses how to make Patroclus die. He makes Hector want to retreat, which consequently makes the Trojans retreat since Hector is the one leading them (in this scene, again the image of Zeus as responsible for the balance appears, since we have the phrase "He knew that Zeus had tipped the scales against him"). Zeus does this with the intention of making Patroclus disobey Achilles: that is, to go beyond the limit that Achilles gave him.

But Patroclus, giving a cry to Automedon whipping on his team, 800 Patroclus went for Troy's and Lycia's lines, blind in his fatal frenzy — luckless soldier. If only he had obeyed Achilles' strict command he might have escaped his doom, the stark night of death. But the will of Zeus will always overpower the will of men. Zeus who strikes fear in even the bravest man of war and tears away his triumph, all in a lightning flash, and at other times he will spur a man to battle. just as he urged Patroclus' fury now

The Iliad, 16.800-809. Translation by Robert Fagles.

Patroclus, in an inconsequential act, tries many times to attack the walls of Troy, but Apollo repels him on all occasions, shouting that not even Achilles is destined to conquer Troy, much less Patroclus. Apollo then incites Hector, who is uncertain, to kill Patroclus. In the confrontation, Hector's ally and half-brother, Cebriones, is accidentally killed by Patroclus as he attempts to hit Hector. And well, let's just say Patroclus's reaction isn't exactly the most honorable.

The sharp stone crushed both brows, the skull caved in and both eyes burst from their sockets, dropping down in the dust before his feet as the reinsman vaulted, plunging off his well-wrought car like a diverCebriones' life breath left his bones behind and you taunted his corpse, Patroclus O my rider: "Look what a springy man, a nimble, flashy rumbler! Just think what he'd do at sea where the fish swarm— why. the man could glut a fleet. diving for oysters! Plunging overboard, even in choppy, heaving seas, just as he dives to ground from his war-car now. Even these Trojans have their tumblers — what a leap!" And he leapt himself at the fighting driver's corpse with the rushing lunge of a lion struck in the chest as he lays waste pens of cattle— his own lordly courage about to be his death. So you sprang at Cebriones, full fury, Patroclus, as Hector sprang down from his chariot just across and the two went tussling over the corpse as lions 880 up on the mountain ridges over a fresh-killed stag— both ravenous, proud and savage — fight it out to the death. So over the driver here and both claw-mad for battle, Patrodus son of Menoetius, Hector ablaze for glory strained to slash each other with ruthless bronze. Hector seized the corpse's head, would not let go— Patrodus clung to a foot and other fighters clashed, Trojans, Argives, all in a grueling, maiming onset.

The Iliad, 16.862-888. Translation by Robert Fagles.

Ironically, in addition to Achilles dishonoring Hector's body (as Patroclus previously tried to do with Sarpedon), he also throws Trojan corpses into the waters of the Scamander River, precisely the reason that angers the god and makes him fight Achilles (and here Patroclus, also before Achilles, tries to throw Cebriones' corpse into the river). Patroclus' attitude of unnecessarily mocking an enemy (as Cebriones was already dead. It's not like it's a mutual provocation between warriors or anything, it's simply someone stronger humiliating someone weaker) is also something that Achilles does.

And then we have the other important moment. Apollo takes off Patroclus' armor and breaks his spear. Not enough, Patroclus is also stunned. The funny part is that even with Patroclus at a clear disadvantage, one of the Trojans doesn't dare to face Patroclus.

He was the first to launch a spear against you, PatrocIus O my rider, but did not bring you down. Yanking out his ashen shaft from your body, back he dashed and lost himself in the crowds— the man would not stand up to PatrocIus here in mortal combat, stripped, defenseless as he was.

The Iliad, 16.943-948. Translation by Robert Fagles.

As we already know, Hector hits him with the spear and delivers the deadly blow (as shown before, Hector wasn't responsible for the first blow. Patroclus was already injured. He delivers the fatal blow). While Hector is boasting to Patroclus that he defeated him (he was like "you idiot, you thought you were going to conquer Troy and screw my people! Oh, but you didn't! You must have come here under the orders of that damn Achilles, but now you're dead! Oh sucker, your body will be eaten by the vultures!"), Patroclus responds in the following way:

Struggling for breath, you answered. Patroclus O my rider, "Hector! Now is your time to glory to the skies … now the victory is yours. A gift of the son of Cronus, Zeus —Apollo — toothey brought me down with all their deathless ease. they are the ones who tore the armor off my back. Even if twenty Hectors had charged against me— they'd all have died here, laid low by my spear. No, deadly fate in league with Apollo killed me. From the ranks of men, Euphorbus. You came third, and all you could do was finish off my life . . . One more thing — take it to heart, I urge you — you too, you won't live long yourself. I swear. Already I see them looming up beside you — death and the strong force of fate, to bring you down at the hands of Aeacus' great royal son… Achilles!"

And then he dies.

Basically, Hector had just stabbed him with a spear and was bragging, but Patroclus somehow still decided to use his last words to basically go "lol you really are an asshole. Know that I'm so badass that you just managed to defeat me because of Zeus and Apollo, I would have kicked your ass 20 times if it weren't for that. But don't twist your knickers too much because of this, idiot, Achilles is coming!" and proceeds to die. So yeah…at least no one can accuse Patroclus of not being able to be sharp when he wants to!

Summarizing what Patroclus did in Book 16, regardless of whether it was designed by Zeus:

He has the most deaths in a single book, and is described in a savage and bloodthirsty way while doing so. So it's not just that he's a skilled warrior, Patroclus is also not being his usual wiser, more controlled self while doing this. More than his skill, his bloodthirsty attitude is more remarkable.

He tries to dishonor a corpse, and then tries to throw another one into the water. None of these attitudes were considered morally correct, even by Ancient Greek standards. So no, it's not a case of "oh, but that's a modern morality"…it's not. The funeral was a very important thing, so preventing your enemy from having one wasn't seen in a positive light. It could even be seen as a contradiction to divine laws, something that Sophocles discusses in the play Antigone for example (In this case, the enemy who is denied his funeral is Polynices and the one who denies him is Creon).

He becomes careless and arrogant. He mocks the enemy when it's no longer necessary (Cebriones was already dead, for example), he advances further than he should, in general Patroclus keeps getting closer and closer to death the less rationally he acts.

He decided to use his last words to be as acidic as possible! Seriously, I know it's sad that Patroclus dies, but I find his last words hilarious. Dude was like "you suck and Achilles will kick your ass!" and then his soul left his body.

Conclusion

I guess another possibility is the Clysonimus incident. Regardless of how accidental it was, Patroclus as a child still killed Clysonimus for a silly reason (dices). This, at the very least, indicates that as a child at some point he became angry enough to have a conflict with another boy that would result in a death. Also note that I'm combining different sources in this account (which are in the original post), as not all of them explicitly state the name of the dead boy or the reason for the conflict. Anyway, the sources don't actually tend to detail the event…it's just a quick background. So it's not possible to have a good idea of how exactly Patroclus reacted and how the death happened with certainty.

But most people see this Clysonimus thing as just an extremely accidental death, so I genuinely think the reason Patroclus is sometimes associated with "sassy" is Book 16 although he wasn't 100% his usual self and there was divine interference in at least part of this (I'm talking about Zeus helping him have honor in battle, but also manipulating his death). However, gods interfering is a common thing, so Zeus also isn't THAT big of a detail. I doubt it's sassy thing is from another source either because the other sources for Patroclus aren't known as The Iliad.

And I don't know if people take this into account in the fics you've read, but Patroclus didn't mince words with that description either:

"No time to sit, old soldier dear to the gods. You won't persuade me. Awesome and quick to anger, the man who sent me here to find out who's been wounded, the one you've just brought in. But I can see him— 770 I recognize Machaon myself, the expert healer. So back I go to give Achilles the message. Well you know, old soldier loved by the gods, what sort of man heis — that great and terrible man. Why, he'd leap to accuse a friend without a fault."

The Iliad, 11.767-775. Translation by Robert Fagles.

In short, both the portrayal of Patroclus being kinder than other characters and him being somehow violent or sassy make sense. He is a balanced character. But, notably, him being bloodthirsty isn't typical of him, so portraying him as being that way 100% of the time would be a stretch. But yeah, he's definitely not an angel!

There are other things to talk about on the subject of Book 16, but I suppose I'll have to leave them for another post because they have no relation to the answer to this question and enter another territory. It also should take longer to write.

[the5thcellar]

The only reason why people are against the perspective of Luke and Nicola having it, it's the internal fat phobia for me. Same thing for the group 'no chemistry' in the series. Anons wouldn't say all that shit about one sided crush from her, if she was indeed a woman with a skinny body, not a mid size one. The thing is she doesn't need it, cause she is ethereal and perfect in her way. She is a beautiful woman. She is gorgeous, while people project much of their own insecurities on her. Luke, though, is just the other typical male celebrity. If they'll ever jump on the train, it will certainly be him asking her out, not her following him. I don't see this woman in her golden retriever stage for anyone. She knows her worth and is sure to be aware of impulsive decisions of his.

OH CLOCK IT OMGGGGGGG. 193829293912% !!!!!!!!!!

I would like this post a hundred times if I could. I've been pretty much silent about the issue of fatphobia in the fandom because the arguments I've witnessed / been involved in on twitter ALWAYS get the same dead end responses - "not everything is fatphobia they just have no chemistry" / "you have to admit that Nicola isn't that attractive it has nothing to do with her weight".

It's LITERALLY fatphobia. Most of the times it's not even internalised - people are literally saying the quiet part out loud by insisting Nicola doesn't look good enough to warrant attraction from a "hot guy" like Luke.

LIKE BE SO FUCKING FR RN OMG ??? I've had to sit through people shipping SO many weird ass pairings that I personally felt were completely absurd - pairings that the mainstream audience ate up just because it was a skinny girl with a hot guy.

(Truth be told - and on a more relevant note - I literally felt like Phoebe and Regé had no chemistry. both of them were so absolutely compelling and gorgeous as individual characters but they didn't work together for me)

Isn't it strange how no one really said much about the previous two Bridgerton pairings where aesthetics were concerned... and were lauding the couples for all having such GREAT chemistry with one another ... but when it came to Luke and Nicola they were all suddenly so insistent that there was no chemistry at all and that their views are completely objective? Nah. Pack it the fuck up. All these people are fatphobic as hell.

What's made it worse is the bloody ozempic obsession that has swept over Hollywood in the past year. Suddenly celebs who used to advocate for body positivity are all skinny - doing a hypocritical 180 on the self love ethos they were preaching.

But anyway that's diving more into social commentary and I don't want to veer too far from the original content on this post.

So 100% yes - a HEFTY MAJORITY of polin antis and lukola antis are blatantly fatphobic. If you cannot imagine Luke Newton can EVER have feelings for Nicola but think him and A are obviously a great fit - you're fatphobic. You can pretend you're objective all you want ... but think about why you're so FUCKING QUICK to defend Antonia and say she'll be together with Luke forever / she's totally his type when 1) she's barely been in the spotlight - she's done no interviews or anything for y'all to even get enough of an idea of her personality to stan her or bat for her 2) y'all don't fucking KNOW his type you just assume it's skinny women because his celeb crush is dua lipa and everyone loves hot and skinny women right? newsflash guys my celeb crushes are Zac Efron and Mads Mikkelsen and HELL YEAH I'd fall over myself to date either of them... but in a fuck marry kill contest I'd still choose to marry someone like Jack Black instead.

What you think is attractive as a fantasy is not always what you find attractive in a long term partner.

You're here on my page defending Antonia and insisting she's a better fit for Luke not because you know her, or like her, or even because you respect Luke. You're here on my page because you're using her as an excuse to come for Lukola. You're here on my page because you cannot imagine that a fat girl can be together with a "hot man."

Now check that.

[daisydisciple]

the idea that """cancel culture""" (for lack of a better term) and "puriteens" and the like have roots in cultural Christianity is so interesting to me...are you saying they kept the concept of redemption only so they could call everyone irredeemable? You wanted to abolish sin but you accidentally abolished redemption instead?

because to me, “everyone is redeemable” is kind of...the whole point of Christianity. "I can become better; I can change and be changed" is infinitely more freeing than "I don't need to ever become better; I'm already good enough." Because I don't want to be stuck here forever, like this, in all my blunderings and mistakes and regrets! I want to grow and improve and be free!

But I guess if you interpret God as some kind of authoritarian despot who is just waiting to see you mess up, then you decide to throw of "the rules" as some kind of liberation. "Sin isn't real. just do whatever you want as long as it's not hurting anyone."

But we do hurt each other. And what then? The wrongs aren't as easily dismissed as "the rules." So instead everyone is unforgivable and irredeemable and everyone is toxic and secretly a horrible monster who was just biding their time. And no apology will ever be good enough. Everyone's a sinner and no one is redeemable and no one will ever be redeemed. But hey! At least we're free from the tyranny of Christianity!

[aboutiroh]

You know what’s astonishing about Katara? She grew up in a world without bending.

It’s not surprising that Sokka calls her bending ‘magic water’ in the first episode. It might as well have been magic to them at that point; they had never seen it in practice until they meet Aang.

So not only did Katara not have any teachers, she didn’t have any kind of guidance, no visual aids, no idea of how bending is supposed to look or work. The first time she ever sees actual waterbending movements is when she steals the waterbending scroll from the pirates. The first time she meets another waterbender is when she reaches the North Pole, where within weeks she outmasters pretty much everyone and goes on to teach the Avatar.

Everything she does is so incredibly impressive, and yet I can’t help but feel the most proud of her when she catches a fish on that little boat.

[densitywell]

spent like an hour trying to find a post abt the disparity of origin companion's content in bg3 and couldn't so, hey, this fucking sucks

[celestialrealms]

we can't keep letting him get away with this 🤬

[itslavenduh]

Jessie gets her license.

[lazylittledragon]

i'm going to scream i got accused of being a transmisogynist by someone on twitter because of this specific part of my t4t steddie art

[wavebiders]

Feeling very insane about the fact that, in a way, being a bad Sharran is what saves Shadowheart in the end

Because like. She's not supposed to be bad at keeping secrets. She's not supposed to be vulnerable, kind, or hopeful. She's not supposed to get attached to anything or anyone

Yet, it's these things that allow her to get close to the pc and the group as a whole. The more she fails to keep Shar's secrets the more she opens up to you, and the more she opens up to you the more you have the chance to build a relationship with her, and it's through having that relationship that she finds the courage to defy Shar

If she had been a better Sharran she never would have built that bond at all, she wouldn't have felt safe to make the decision she did, and probably no one would have trusted her enough to let her decide to begin with

Shadowheart is saved because she is loved, and Shadowheart is loved because she cannot stop being herself no matter how hard she tries

[kyouka-supremacy]

I think we should just bring back Wungo Wednesday and start a fandom collective anime rewatch

[demonslayedher]

I can't wait to see what Ufotable does with this panel:

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

i see a lot of opinions around, about death, and why she didn't intervene in dream's imprisonment

and i think a lot of people have trouble reconciling the idea that she does care about him, with the fact that she didn't do anything?

so then you get the theories that she couldn't have saved him (as if burgess was ever a match for the endless, he only got dream because dream was still recovering from burning out 99% of his power in overture), or that she was stuck by the rules of the endless not interfering with each other (that's a whole other convoluted discussion topic)

but i feel like these theories all kinda. misread, who death is. or rather, they sort of assume she's a human being with the same mentality as a human, and not the literal personification of death

of course she cares about her brother. and of course she technically had the power to intervene. but think about her existence. think about the way in which she knows everyone, the life she's lived for billions of years, and the life she knows she'll live until she's the last consciousness left in the universe

she's an inherently passive entity, she has to be. because her entire purpose is to stand there for the end of every life in existence, often horrific and violent and unfair ones, and to tell them that's just the way of things. to ensure that that fate does indeed come to pass. she knows how everyone is going to die and she just has to keep talking to them like she doesn't

when she was younger, it was different. granted, she refused to help dream then too, because (at least according to dream) all the endless were incredibly prideful when they were young, and wouldn't even have tried to help each other. but also, we have her word that at one point her job got overwhelming. the fact that she had to stand by and watch so much tragedy, to ensure it happened, really got to her. and for a while, she stopped. one of the few times if not the only time she has ever made a strong decision in the face of fate - she stopped collecting souls. and that turned out much worse. in order to exist as herself, she had to find a way to not only be okay with who she is, but find meaning in it. the person who would get involved, who would stand up against unfairness, that person cannot be death of the endless

and think about death as a concept, for a sec, not just as a person. death is patient. death will come for everyone in time, but time is meaningless to it. i like this panel, from endless nights, for connecting that with death the person, because she is always there and always waiting (in this story she waits here for anywhere between 10 and 200 years, depending on how you look at it. and she explains in this story that time doesn't really work the same to her as it does to everyone else. time is her father, after all. she can wait. she will always wait.)

even when she takes human form, like we see in high cost of living, she is the epitome of go with the flow. she just follows where the universe takes her, doesn't try to change anything, just lets her curiosity and love for humanity put her in whatever situation fate decided she should be. and fate (whether that's her brother, the fates, or something else entirely) does play some role in it, because her human form was created with $10.02 in her pocket, which is the exact amount of money she ended up needing to spend that day. and she trusts that she won't need more than that, no matter how many questions are thrown at her about it

which is not an inherently bad thing! because living in the moment means she is so much more alive than her siblings, it gives her the ability to offer so much more empathy towards the mortals she has to spend most of her time with, it makes her in many ways a wonderful person. she's just, not a person of action

death doesn't show she cares by stopping the bad things from happening to you. she shows she cares by being there for you after. by having the patience, despite her busy job, to sit and chat with every single person who's ever lived, and to comfort them in the best way she knows how

which is exactly what she did