#but between buck constantly yelling ‘come on’ and eddie yelling ‘do more’ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hippolotamus · 2 years

Text

Fuck it Friday

So, Monday is a thing that happened. And this coming Monday is gonna be... yeah, you already know. I was tagged today by @shortsighted-owl @spotsandsocks @alyxmastershipper and @heartbeatdiaz I was gonna be nice and not bring pain... instead I chose to drag a different sort of Buddie violence from storage. I never posted this one anywhere but today felt like an okay day to dust it off. Takes place somewhere in S4, but before The Shooting™️

No pressure tagging: @elvensorceress @ajunerose @alysiswriting @fatedbuddie @gayedmundodiaz @dreamingdiaz @this-is-bwr

Rating: T(?) | 2833 words

“Will I see you later?”

Buck tries not to look, he really does, at the way Ana curls into Eddie. At the way his body adjusts to her and he smiles and gently kisses her forehead. It’s such a natural fit is the thing. It’s like they were literally made for each other. Ana’s soft and pliable in a way that she can just slip into Eddie’s life. To start filling in the gaps where roles like lover, girlfriend, partner, wife have been left vacant. Not like Buck who feels like he’s constantly trying to fit where no one wants him.

Eddie strokes his thumb across her cheek and she has nothing but shy smiles in return, lapping up all his affection. “Yeah, I’m done at six. Dinner at the house?”

The chair slides a little louder than Buck intends but he needs to get away and do anything except hear more of this conversation.

“Buck? Where are you—” Eddie calls after him but Buck’s already halfway down the steps, toward the bunks.

He huddles onto a top bed, facing the wall, curling in on himself so he can take up as little space as possible. Maybe, Buck thinks, if he winds himself small enough he could disappear and never have to face Eddie questioning him about what just happened.

In the dark, Buck tries to shut out his own analysis of why he even cares about Ana. Eddie’s allowed to date. Buck doesn’t have any sort of claim to him. As much as he would like to pretend he doesn’t know, Buck is all too aware. Whether it was the well, the tsunami, Shannon coming back or some undefinable moment – he’s in love with Eddie. Not like friend love or platonic love. Love love. I’d dig underground with my bare hands and take a bullet for you love. He’s used everything from sheer willpower to random hookups to distract himself. But it’s never enough. At the end of the day, when Buck closes his eyes, Eddie’s is the only face he sees. Masculine and soft and warm and… not Buck’s to appreciate. So, yeah, watching Ana fucking Flores waltz in and take the spot he craves so badly is devastating.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Buck spits out, frowning petulantly, when the door swings softly shut.

“Just gonna storm off and pretend nothing’s wrong?” Eddie asks.

“That was the plan, yeah.”

“Are you- you pissed at me for something?”

There’s a hesitancy in Eddie’s voice, making the question come out more gently than Buck thinks he probably intended. He sounds… hurt. And that somehow makes it worse than hearing him call Buck exhausting, or asking if Buck knows how much Christopher misses him. He thinks it might be better if Eddie would yell, or at least raise his voice. Then, maybe, Buck could justify staying angry. He might have a better reason than his best friend not considering him romantically, even though Buck never openly offered himself as an option.

“I said I don’t wanna talk about it,” Buck mutters, regretting the words as soon as he says them. Because he’s not pissed at Eddie. Eddie didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not his fault Buck’s madly in love with him.

Buck continues staring a hole into the painted cinder blocks, hoping Eddie will just leave him to brood in silence. The quiet stretches between them and, for a moment, Buck wonders if Eddie left after all. But then he hears an exasperated sigh, followed by the sound of Eddie running a hand through his hair.

“At least get your shit together for tomorrow. Christopher’s been looking forward to seeing you for movie night.” The don’t fuck it up for him seems implied.

Buck hears the sound of Eddie’s boots moving toward the door before he can come up with a response. Not that he would have a decent one. What he really wants to know is if Ana will be invading that, too. If she’ll find a way to take away boy’s night. But then the alarm sounds and he doesn’t have any more time to mope like a teenager. Thankfully, the rest of the shift passes quickly with fairly routine calls that let Buck rely on muscle memory and not have to interact too heavily with Eddie. A fender bender on the highway, an assist to help an elderly gentleman who fell, a garage fire.

At the end of their shift, Buck grabs his bag and heads for the Jeep before one more person can question his mood. He doesn’t even bother to hit the showers first. There’s a general chorus of voices trying to get his attention, but he keeps his focus ahead, only interested in getting back to his loft. Besides, he doesn’t want to be the reason Eddie is late getting home to Ana. Buck may be in love with the guy, but he ultimately wants his best friend to be happy. That’s what best friends do, right? And Ana seems to tick all the boxes. She makes Eddie ridiculously happy. So who is Buck to get in the way of that?

**********

Buck’s leveled up to version 2.0, 3.0. Hell, he’s not entirely sure what version he’s up to by now. What he does know is the strawberry blonde eyeing him up from the bar might be just his type tonight. She’s all curves and soft edges, porcelain skin like she might break if he’s not careful. As far from broad shoulders and six pack abs and a tanned complexion as possible. Buck maintains eye contact as he takes a long sip from his beer, feeling a familiar comfort settle in when she sets her drink down and nods her head toward the restrooms. He knows this game, this he can do.

He slips into the room, locking the door behind them. “I’m Bu-”

“Shut up,” she commands, cutting him off with a kiss and walking them back against the wall, hands already scrambling for his belt buckle. He never does learn her name, or anything else, except that she’s a perfect escape for the next eight or so minutes. It turns out her delicate features are more than a little misleading. She looks completely at ease when she’s bent over, hands gripping the edge of the sink, telling him to fuck her harder, faster. She takes and demands and Buck is all too happy to give whatever she needs if it helps him forget Eddie for a while.

When he does come, digging into her hips and biting his lip so he isn’t too loud, the spell breaks. She stands to fix her dress, gives him a squeeze on the shoulder and leaves without a word. Buck tosses the condom in the trash and cleans himself up, somehow feeling worse. More empty. It shouldn’t sting, at least not more than it did for Buck 1.0. And yet there’s a hollow feeling in his chest. He straightens up, checks for visible marks or stray lipstick stains and walks out. Out of the restroom, through the bar and the parking lot, to the Jeep. His one constant in life.

The feeling follows him for the duration of the drive home. It swells a bit when he absentmindedly drives by Eddie’s house, not quite sure how he ended up on this route to begin with. All he can do is blame muscle memory, too many nights crashing on Eddie’s couch. When Buck opens the door to his loft, climbs the stairs to his bed and falls into the mattress, the cavernous ache persists. He feels a bit like an abandoned shell, washed up on the beach. Echoing around him, the only sound is the waves whispering Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

***********

“Finally,” Christopher teases when he opens the door for Buck, letting out an exaggerated sigh. Buck could have used his key, but ever since Ana’s been around he hasn’t felt comfortable. He knows he has a standing invitation, it just doesn’t feel quite as open now.

“Hey, get back here!” Buck chases after Christopher, sweeping him in a tight embrace and twirling them both in a circle. Chris squeals with laughter and Buck feels so full of love he might burst. They’ve spun about two rotations when he freezes at the sight of Ana walking out of Eddie’s kitchen and sets Christopher down.

“Oh,” Buck says. “I, um, I didn’t realize you were going to be here.”

For as long as Eddie’s been seeing her, Buck has gone out of his way to avoid being in any mutual locations if he can help it. He puts up with her at the firehouse because it’s not really his decision. Besides, there’s usually an open bunk or a truck that needs waxed.

“Don’t worry, Buck. Movie night is safe. I was just leaving.” She smiles and he almost feels bad about how she grates on his nerves. “Goodnight, Christopher! See you soon?”

Buck feels something like jealousy twist around him when Christopher wraps his arms around her waist for a quick hug. He has to turn away, coughing to cover the whimpering cry that wants to come out. Buck has to remind himself that, no matter what claims he does have, Eddie’s not his and neither is Christopher.

“Goodnight, Buck.” Ana waves before disappearing behind the front door.

Christopher and Buck settle on the couch while Chris shows off the latest book he checked out of the school library. Buck listens to his excited tone spilling out facts about the planets, their different properties and why humans couldn’t live on them. He makes a mental note to start researching telescopes for Christopher’s birthday.

“Everyone decide on a pizza topping?” Eddie suddenly appears, his hair looking slightly damp like he might have just emerged from the shower. When he sits to the other side of Christopher, Buck is sure he can still detect the scent of Ana’s perfume under the layers of body wash.

“Pineapple!” Christopher announces before looking over. “What do you want, Buck?”

Buck smiles and ruffles his curls. “I’ll have whatever you’re having, buddy.”

Christopher gives him a huge grin, then turns to Eddie. “Dad?”

“Since when do I get anything different?”

“Yeah, yeah. Pepperoni and green peppers.” Christopher rolls his eyes in response. “Except when Ana’s here. Then you just get what she wants.”

“Oh.” Buck raises an eyebrow at Eddie, hoping he comes off as teasing instead of possessive and jealous. “Is that so?”

“You two pipe down and pick a movie. I’ll be right back.” Eddie strides off to call in the order while Buck and Christopher exchange teasing glances.

They debate politely on the merits of Zootopia versus The Secret Life of Pets or classics like The Lion King or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Christopher naturally wins (because Buck can’t say no to him), choosing Zootopia. Thoughts of Ana are quickly forgotten by the natural rhythms of movie night. Eddie dims the overhead lamp and the three of them huddle on the couch to start watching. It’s easy to feel like he belongs here, like this is how it should be. The pizza arrives and he moves easily around Eddie’s kitchen grabbing plates and napkins.

“Can Buck read me a story?” Christopher asks between yawns when the credits roll.

“Of course I can.” Buck will take every little moment possible with Christopher before Ana steals him away. “Go put your PJs on and brush your teeth. I’ll be right there.”

Eddie turns off the movie and they work in silence to clean up the dinner mess. It’s a well practiced routine that allows Buck’s mind to be quiet. Even if just for a few minutes. They’re just finishing when Christopher bellows down the hall to announce he’s ready. Buck reads him a chapter about dwarf planets from a National Geographic book, and then Where the Wild Things Are. He spares a moment to cherish the way Christopher leans into him, his head occasionally dropping against Buck’s chest while he struggles to stay awake.

“Goodnight, Chris.” Buck presses a kiss into his curls, helping him slide under the covers before slipping his glasses off to sit on the nightstand. After Buck turns the light out, the temptation to watch Christopher – for just a minute – before closing the door is too great. So he leans against the doorframe, noting the rise and fall of Christopher’s chest, the way his small frame manages to take up so much room on the bed.

“He’s not going anywhere you know,” Eddie murmurs softly behind him.

It sounds a lot like I’m not going anywhere, but the words don’t do anything to soothe the feeling in his gut that makes Chris already feel out of reach. Are you sure? Can you really promise that?

“I know. I just-” Want as much of him as I can before she shuts me out. Before I’m not the one he wants anymore. Before I can’t be the one to do this. “He just looked so peaceful.”

Buck closes the bedroom door, silently making his way back to the living room. Usually he and Eddie would stay up talking, grab a beer, maybe watch some action flick that Christopher won’t be allowed to see for at least another six or seven years. Or never, if Buck has anything to say about it. But he doesn’t really want to tonight. Not when every thought leads back to Ana and Eddie and how Buck doesn’t really fit in anymore. Especially when Eddie throws it right out in the open, like he’s the poster boy for healthy communication.

“So, you wanna tell me what yesterday was about?”

He feels his body tighten in response, an unwelcome tension taking over any remnants of calm. “It was nothing,” Buck lies. “I’m fine.”

Eddie grabs his shoulder, ducking his head so Buck is forced to look him in the eye. “You sure as hell didn’t look fine. C’mon, Buck. You can have my back and I can have yours, remember? What’s going on?”

What is he supposed to say? Oh, by the way, I’m in love with you. Just thought you should know. He can’t tell Eddie the truth and doesn’t feel like he can lie any more about it either. He swallows the answer and says the most honest thing he can manage.

“I’m just- I’m not ready to talk about it, okay?”

Eddie inhales sharply, like he’s tempering a response, nodding slowly. “Okay. If you aren’t ready, I trust you. Just-” Something like sadness flickers over Eddie’s face. “Just know that I’m here, alright? Whenever you are ready.”

“Yeah, I know.” Buck lets himself be pulled into a tight embrace, memorizing the way Eddie feels wrapped around him, the places his fingers settle, the way he feels like home. He turns his head so he’s nestled against Eddie’s neck and breathes him in. Buck tries to think of it as his space and not one he probably has to share with Ana. They hold onto each other longer than friends should but Buck can’t bring himself to let go. He wants every second, wants his actions to show what words can’t. Not yet anyway.

“See you tomorrow?” Eddie sounds hesitant like he recognizes the moment for what it is, even though he couldn’t possibly know the storm raging inside Buck’s head.

Buck nods against his shoulder before forcing some distance between them. If he doesn’t leave now, he won’t. “Sure. See you tomorrow, Eds.” He picks his keys up from the hook by the front door and walks out. Into the night, through the grass, to his faithful Jeep.

Streetlights and traffic signals pass in a blur while a nebulous ache settles over him. With each passing mile it wraps tighter, concentrating into a mass behind his ribcage, threatening to take over the space where his heart and lungs are. Buck ignores it, cranking the radio up, refusing to poke at the feeling. He works to maintain his focus on the road, on parking beside his building, on putting one foot in front of the other until he reaches his door.

Once he’s changed into sleep shorts and his favorite cream-colored hoodie, Buck climbs under the comforter, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. He lets a hand drift to his chest for some sort of counterpressure to the throbbing discomfort inside him, like pressing a release. The jumble tightens for just a second before allowing the mass of unsaid words, loneliness, want, longing and jealousy to unravel. He barely recognizes the howl that escapes as his own, followed by a steady stream of tears and tucking himself into a fetal position hoping, once again, that if he curls tight enough he could disappear.

Before sleep claims him, Buck runs his tongue over his lips, swiping aside the salty mix and blending it with the only words he seems capable of. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie…

#enjoy and i'm sorry besties #ouchy buck #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie fic #kind of?#hippo writes #love you mwah!

38 notes · View notes

calinaannehart · 2 years

Text

It took four of them, one under each arm, one leading the way and making sure the route was clear of hazards, and one following behind just in case he lost his balance. It took four of them and exactly twenty-six minutes to get Buck from Eddie’s truck where he had stopped it in the disabled parking spot right next to the pier, and to the spot Chris had chosen on the beach.

But it was worth it.

Eddie and Bobby had taken the spots under Buck’s arms, both being relatively equal in height, and supported the man’s weight as he hopped across the sand, his casted leg held out in front of him as Hen took the lead, yelling instructions to running children to clear a path, and Chimney had trailed behind, ready to catch Buck if he lost his balance and slipped from Bobby and Eddie’s grip.

They were sweaty and out of breath by the time they lowed Buck onto the blanket that Maddie had laid out ready for him.

But it was worth it.

It was worth it because Buck is laughing. Buck is laughing and the sunset is shining upon his skin, the sea breeze ruffling his curls and he looks more alive than he has in the past two weeks.

Two weeks of being stuck sleeping on the couch in his brand new loft, unable to even make it up the stairs to his bed. Two weeks of being sad and lonely because they all still have to work. Two weeks of fearing that his career as a firefighter is over.

Eddie drops in when he can, in between shifts and picking up Christopher from school, but he doesn’t feel like it’s enough. His friend is suffering.

He had stopped by the day before, going straight from shift end, and had found Buck in the same clothes he had seen the man in two days previously, surrounded by take-out cartons and crying over an ASPCA advert on the TV.

Eddie had known then that he needed to do something.

So he had called Bobby, then Maddie, then fired a series of instructions to a new group chat, one he didn’t add Buck to. They had the next day off and Buck needed them.

It was Chris who had come up with the idea, the kid constantly still able to surprise Eddie with his compassion for others.

“Buck loves the beach, Dad, we should take him there,” Chris had crowed through a mouthful of pancakes and the sheer excitement on his face had prevented Eddie from telling him no to talk with his mouth full. “We can build sandcastles and paddle in the water!

“Buck’s not gonna be able to go in the water, bud, he can’t get his cast wet.”

“Okay, but he can still build a sand castle, right?”

He can. Buck’s castle is immense, it had turrets and a moat, and he’s working on a bridge when Chris brings him another bucket of water, some sloshing over the rim as he navigates the uneven ground.

“Thanks, Chris!” Buck grins, taking the bucket and scooping some water into his hand and pouring it over the pile of sand he’s attempting to mold. He finishes the drawbridge and wipes his sandy hands on his shorts and Eddie is sure he’s getting sand in the top of his cast but Buck doesn’t seem to care.

It was worth it.

Endless Tupperware’s full of food are laid out, everyone having prepared something, and Eddie piles some onto three plates, setting one down next to Buck and poking his shoulder to let him know it’s there. He receives a warm smile of thanks before Buck turns his focus back to Christopher and the castle and Eddie watches fondly as the two of them chatter away about the medieval castles of England that Chris has just been learning about in school.

When his son starts to tuck into his own food Eddie presses Buck’s plate into his hand. “Having fun?” He asks and Buck looks at him like he’s grown an extra head.

“Am I having — Eddie, this had been the best day of my life.” He says it with such sincerity that it doesn’t sound even remotely corny.

“Good.” They eat in silence for a few minutes, watching Denny, Harry, and May splashing each other in the sea.

“Daddy, can I go swim?” Christopher asks and before Eddie can answer Carla is on her feet, holding out a hand to help him up.

“I got him,” She winks conspiratorially at him. “You two just relax.” She keeps hold of his hand until they reach the shore, switching out with Denny and Harry who wade out of the water to each take a hand and help Chris to move forward until the water is lapping at his kneecaps. Eddie knows he doesn’t need to warn him not to go any deeper.

“Thank you.” Eddie turns to find Buck looking at him, his face the most relaxed he’s probably ever seen it.

“It was Christopher’s idea,” He explains, his son deserving all of the credit. “He said you told him once that you love the ocean.”

“I do, I don’t know, it’s like, endless possibilities,” Buck sighs and turns his eyes back out to the horizon. “The ocean can take you literally anywhere you want to go and we know so little about it. We know more about space than we do the depths of the ocean.”

“The great unknown,” Eddie concludes.

Buck turns to him again and looks him right in the eye. “Yeah.” He smiles.

It was worth it.

Later, when they’re sunburnt, sandy, and exhausted from hauling Buck back to the truck and getting him back to his apartment, it will still be worth it. Because when Eddie leaves, after making sure Buck is fed, watered, and as comfortable as he can be on his temporary bed, Buck is still smiling.

#evan buck buckely #evan buckley #911 fox #9 1 1 on fox #fanfiction #9 1 1 fanfiction #eddie diaz #911 on fox #one sentence prompts

11 notes · View notes

tripleaxeldiaz · 4 years

Text

darling let me trace the lines

a flower shop fic for my beautiful @elisela <3

read on ao3

I. Birth Month Flowers

The bell above the shop door rings, but Eddie ignores it in favor of putting the finishing touches on the wedding arrangement he’s working on. There’s only one person who’d come in after closing anyway, and he’ll make his way to the back room soon enough.

He smiles as he feels strong arms wrap around his waist from behind and a chin come to rest on his shoulder. He puts the last of the peonies in place before turning around to greet Buck properly.

“Hi,” he says, arms coming around Buck in return. Buck’s smile gets bright and Eddie melts, like he always does.

“Hi,” Buck whispers, leaning in to kiss Eddie softly, sweetly. “Happy anniversary.”

If anyone had told Eddie a year ago that this is where he’d end up — happier than he’s ever been with the best man he’s ever met, business going better and better each day, Chris continuing to shine — he’s not sure he would have believed them. He would’ve kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for every good thing to be met with something even worse, for the inevitability of sinking back into the darkness that constantly followed him.

But now, he has Buck and Chris and the rest of their little makeshift family to pull him out and remind him that he gets to keep these good things, that he deserves them. He still has days where that’s hard to believe, where everything goes a little grey, but then he’ll hear Chris’ laugh ring through the shop or see Buck smile, and colors come seeping back in again.

He kisses Buck one more time before stepping back to get a proper look at him. The first word that comes to mind is mouthwatering — dress pants cut just right, dark blue button down making his eyes even brighter. He looks like he just stepped out of a J. Crew catalogue, and it takes every ounce of willpower Eddie can muster to not drag him upstairs right now and forget about their dinner reservations.

There’s one glaring problem though, and Eddie reaches forward to undo the buttons at Buck’s wrist to roll up the sleeves of his shirt. Buck tries to pull away, but Eddie’s grip is firm.

“Eddie, come on, this is a nice place, they won’t even let me in the door if they see all my ink.”

“Well, it’s my anniversary, and I want to see it. If my very Catholic, ‘your body is a temple’ abuela can accept your tattoos, the maître d' at this restaurant can too.”

He gets both sleeves rolled up to Buck’s elbows and takes a minute to admire the ink underneath. They’re all more than familiar now, and he’s spent hours asking Buck about each one, like Chris did when they first met. He likes knowing these things about Buck, the little bits that are so obvious on his arms but have meanings that go much deeper. It’s a privilege, a blessing really, and it’s not something that he’ll ever take for granted.

Buck’s blushing by the time he’s done, and Eddie kisses his nose to get a laugh out of him.

“Okay, okay, go get dressed, we’re gonna be late,” Buck says, shoving Eddie towards the stairs. Eddie does as he’s told, quickly changing and fixing his hair, and he feels himself smile as Buck’s jaw drops when he comes back downstairs.

He knows he looks good — both the lady at the store and Sophia on FaceTime said that maroon was definitely his color — but it’s nice that the main person he’s trying to impress agrees too.

“You look— damn, babe, are you sure we have to go to dinner?” Buck asks, pulling Eddie closer by his belt loops and kissing him deep.

Eddie lets him, just for a minute, before pulling away, ignoring Buck’s groan as he grabs his hand and pulls him out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner goes by without incident (minus a brief makeout session in the bathroom between courses) and is overall perfect. Eddie is full of food and flushed from wine and swinging his and Buck’s clasped hands back and forth as they walk back to his apartment because he’s so happy he doesn’t know what else to do. The smile Buck shoots his way only makes that happiness grow.

The nerves settle in a bit once they finally get upstairs. “So, I know we didn’t talk about gifts or anything,” he says, pulling Buck towards the couch to sit down. “But I had a vague idea, and Chris wanted to help, and one thing led to another so...I do have something for you.”

Buck looks almost relieved. “Good, because I kinda have something for you too.”

Eddie laughs and rolls his eyes — of course they did this with no planning — before going to his bedroom to grab the gift.

“Close your eyes!” he yells before walking back in. He gently places the gift in Buck’s lap and sits back down beside him.

“Okay, open.”

Buck does and looks down, eyes widening as he does. He traces a finger reverently over the leather cover of the book in front of him, stopping as he gets to the edge of the picture laid in the middle — the two of them and Chris at the beach, matching sunglasses and big smiles. It was their first “family day” after they got together, and the first time Eddie knew, with complete certainty, that this was all he wanted — all he needed — for the rest of his life.

“These are all from the past year,” he says as Buck starts flipping through, like that wasn’t obvious. But he’s nervous and Buck hasn’t said anything so he’s just...riffing. “Even Abuela had some that I didn’t know about. Chris added all the drawings, the ones you two have been working on, and he suggested the pressed flowers because I was teaching him how to press them anyway. It’s mostly jasmine because I know those are your favorite, and they mean ‘sweet love’ so it...fit.” Buck’s still quiet, slowly flipping through the pages. “I know it’s a little cheesy, but—”

“It’s perfect,” Buck says, voice rough. When he finally looks at Eddie, his eyes are shining. “I just can’t believe it’s only been a year and we’ve done all this.”

“There’s blank pages too,” Eddie says, tapping the back of the book. “For when we need them.” Not if we need them, because Eddie doesn’t feel presumptuous in thinking — knowing — that they’ll need those blank pages, and probably a couple thousand more.

Buck smiles and reaches up, cupping Eddie’s cheek. “I love it. I love you. Thank you.” He kisses him once, twice, three times before closing the book and setting it on the coffee table.

“My turn?” Eddie asks. Buck nods and stands up, smile gone and replaced with a nervous grimace.

“So, first things first, I meant to talk to you about this before it happened,” Buck says. “But then I told Chim and Maddie about it, and they said it would be better as a surprise, and they’re very persuasive when they want to be, and she didn’t have a lot of time last week, so I—”

“Buck,” Eddie says, standing up too. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll love it.”

Buck’s eyes flit back and forth between his for a minute before he nods and starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“Oh, it’s that kind of present?”

Buck just laughs and rolls his eyes. He finishes unbuttoning and shrugs his shirt off, revealing his bare chest and more tattoos that Eddie’s become intimately familiar with over the past year. He’s traced each of them with his fingers and his tongue, knows their stories, could probably draw them from memory if someone asked him to.

Except one.

It’s healed but still fresh, stark on Buck’s skin compared to some of the older, faded ones. The design is simple but clear, and obviously Maddie’s work: a marigold and a daisy, crossed at the stems, tied together in a perfect bow by a piece of twine. And it’s right over Buck’s heart, in a spot Eddie knows has been reserved for something truly special.

“It’s beautiful,” Eddie says, “but how is it for me?”

“Come on, Eddie, you know what flowers mean better than anyone.”

“Sure, and I know marigolds are for pain and grief and daisies are for innocence. But what does that have to do with us? Unless you mean—”

He loses his breath a little because it clicks. Tears sting his eyes as he looks up at Buck, because he knows what he thinks it means, what he wants it to mean, but he wants to hear Buck say it too.

Buck smiles, soft and beautiful. “A marigold for an October birthday, like yours, and a daisy for an April birthday, like Chris’. The bow is actually a rose vine for a June birthday.”

“Like yours,” Eddie whispers.

Buck nods, but he quickly looks nervous again. “I know it’s kind of a lot, and maybe it’s assuming too much, but you guys are it for me. Really, really it. This is the best way I could show you that.”

Eddie reaches a hand up, traces gently over a petal, feels Buck’s heart thumping underneath it. Underneath them. A symbol of their family, so solidly formed that Buck wanted it to be a permanent part of him, woven into the tapestry of the stories he paints on his skin.

Eddie’s at a loss for words — so many big things he wants to say, but they’re all getting tangled in his brain, mixed with the sheer awe that this is even happening. Buck must take it as a bad sign though, because his face falls a bit and he starts looking around the room at anywhere but Eddie.

“It’s okay if you don’t like it,” he says, trying to grab for his shirt on the floor. “Like I said, I should’ve told you first—”

Eddie grabs Buck’s face and pulls him into a searing kiss. He’s getting better with words, with communicating his thoughts and talking through what he’s feeling, but sometimes actions still serve him much better. He does his best to pour the tangle of love and devotion and thoughts of forever into the kiss, and if his enthusiastic response is any indication, Buck seems to pick up on everything just fine.

They come up for air eventually, but Eddie keeps holding on to Buck, his thumbs gently tracing the blush on his cheeks. He just looks, takes this moment in, floored by the fact that even when he thinks things can’t get better, that he’s used up all his good fortune and reached the peak of whatever happiness he’s been allowed, Buck comes in and blows the roof clean off.

“You’re it for us too,” he says softly, earnestly. Buck’s smile is big and bright, and Eddie falls in love all over again.

II. Matching Rings

“You know you’re gonna have to get this redone, like, every year, right?”

Buck shoves Chim’s shoulder, almost knocking the ink out of his hands in the process. “You said you’d give us anything we wanted as a wedding present. And you’re only doing mine, so it’s like half a present. Be grateful we didn’t ask for money, too.”

Chim holds his hands up placatingly and finishes loading his machine. It’s just the three of them on the floor, Maddie in the back office doing something with accounting. The sun is going down, lighting the whole room up with soft, golden light. It hits Buck just right too where he’s laid back in Chimney’s chair, making his skin glow in all the places it peaks out beneath the ink. His hair is soft and loose and his smile is easy, and Eddie feels his heart pick up, like it’s the first time he’s ever seen it.

Eddie can’t believe he has to wait a week to marry this man. He’d do it right here, right now if he could. But it’s only seven days, and today they’re doing something just as permanent, just as lasting as they are.

This wasn’t part of the original plan. Everything else was set for the wedding — the venue, the food, the cake, the suits, everything, except the rings. They’d spent three separate weekends going to stores all around Los Angeles, scouring Etsy shops, talking to designers, and still nothing felt right. Nothing they saw felt true to either of them, as a couple or as individuals, and it was (on top of the general stress of planning a wedding) starting to get to Eddie.

“Screw it,” he’d said after another two hours of searching, closing out of another store’s website. “This is so stupid. The rings are the least important part of this, why is it so hard to find good ones?”

Buck pats his shoulder and sets down a mug of tea in front of him before sitting down next to him. “We could just get cheap ones for the actual wedding and keep looking after. Or skip the rings altogether?”

“No, I still want them,” Eddie said. “I just want them to be special. To be us. We’re going to be wearing them for the rest of our lives, we should like them.”

Buck nodded, tapping the side of his own mug, lost in thought. Eddie tried to search some more, typing every combination of “male wedding ring not ugly” in Google and hoping something stuck, until Buck suddenly grabbed his wrist, his eyes bright.

“What if we do tattoos instead.”

“Ring tattoos? Is that even a thing?” He liked to think he’d absorbed a fair amount of tattoo knowledge in all his years of knowing Buck, but he can’t remember a time anyone ever came into the shop for something like that.

Buck nodded. “They’re more popular than they used to be. And we could design them ourselves. They’ll need touch ups, but what’s more permanent than ink being shoved into a layer of your skin?”

He was right. Tattoos meant a lot to the both of them — what better way to truly bond them for life? Eddie smiled back, kissing Buck’s cheek. “You’re a genius.”

So now, three weeks later, design finalized and on their only free evening for the next seven days, Chim starts up his machine and starts on Buck’s left hand.

It’s a simple design — black, interwoven strands, tied together by each other’s initials on the palm side. To Eddie, the strands look like a ribbon of DNA, which makes perfect sense for how much Buck is a part of him, heart and soul and everywhere else in between. He’s intrinsic to Eddie’s very being at this point, and now everyone else will get to see it too, will know from just a glance that he is happily, permanently, taken.

He feels Buck snake his free hand into his own, interlocking their fingers and squeezing gently. He looks up, worried, but Buck seems fine, easy smile still on his face, brighter still now that it’s night.

“You okay?”

Buck nods. “Doesn’t hurt. Just like holding your hand.”

Eddie smiles and rolls his eyes, but squeezes his hand back just as gently.

Chim takes his time, meticulous as always, but he’s still done fairly quickly. He wraps Buck’s finger and cleans up his station before heading to the back to find Maddie, yelling “Congrats you two, don’t touch any of my stuff” over his shoulder as he goes. Buck just rolls his eyes before standing — his hand still clasped in Eddie’s — and leading them over to his own station. Eddie gets comfortable in the chair while Buck gets everything ready, and while he tries to take in the shop around him, noting the new artwork and paint job that Maddie just finished last weekend, his eyes always drift back to Buck, hands moving sure and quick as he cleans and fills his machine. Buck finishes up and catches him (though he wasn’t really trying to hide), smiling softly as he sits down in front of Eddie and takes his hand. The machine buzzes to life, and Eddie lets out a hiss as it touches his finger.

“Remember the last time you were here?” Buck asks, eyes trained on his work.

Of course Eddie does — he couldn’t stop staring at Buck that time either, no matter how hard he tried. He also remembers being scared, not of the tattoo, but of his growing feelings for Buck, how they were getting harder and harder to ignore but he still hadn’t felt like he deserved Buck or the pure light and joy he’s made up of.

Some days he still doesn’t, even after three years together and a week away from getting married.

But then Buck will come into the shop and launch into a story about a terrible client he just had, or come through the back door and plop down next to Chris to help with homework or an art project, or just look at Eddie with his steady, sure gaze, press a kiss to his cheek, and tell him he loves him like it’s the only thing he knows for certain. And Eddie will remember how well Buck fits into their lives, how easy it is to love him and be loved by him, and those doubts wash away as quickly as they came.

Buck shows him more love every day than any person should be capable of showing. Eddie can’t wait to spend the rest of his life giving it right back.

“Done!” Buck says. Eddie looks down at his hand and feels a beautiful warmth spread through him that threatens to bubble over in a laugh or tears or maybe both. Buck’s smiling too as he wraps Eddie’s finger and places a gentle kiss to the knuckle right below the ink, the promises of forever they’ve made to each other now permanent on them for the whole world to see

“So, a touch up every year huh?” Eddie asks as they leave the shop and head back to the apartment. Buck throws an arm around Eddie’s shoulder, pulling him closer as the cool night breeze whirls around them.

“Think of it like a permanently scheduled vow renewal,” Buck says, and Eddie does, his mind suddenly fast forwarding to see them 10, 20, 30 years down the line, renewing their commitment to each other year after year within the now sacred walls of Armageddon, older and greyer but still just in love as they are right now, if not more. It makes Eddie feel that warmth all over again, coursing through him until a laugh does bubble out of him as he presses a kiss under Buck’s jaw. He stops them walking and pulls Buck closer, kissing him for real — slowly, thoroughly, tangling their hands together and gently tracing over Buck’s ring finger, excited beyond words for the start of the rest of their lives together.

III. Ursa Major and Minor

Chris is being weird.

Which isn’t actually unusual — he’s almost 18, and teenagers are always a little weird about certain things. Eddie’s still not allowed to look in the bottom drawer of Chris’ nightstand, and at this point, he probably doesn’t want to.

But still. He’s being weird. And for that matter, so is Buck.

He can tell they’re hiding something — it feels like every time he comes into the back room, they’re huddled over the table, whispering about something. He tried to look over Chris’ shoulder once to see what he was scribbling in a notebook, but Buck had yanked it away and sat on it before Eddie could get too close. Whenever he tries to ask what’s going on, they just smile at him, the picture of innocence, and start talking about schoolwork or graduation or anything else until Eddie finally moves on.

And he loves it, really, that Chris and Buck have their own little thing at the moment, something that’s just for them. But he’d also really like to know what the hell is going on.

He’s sitting at the kitchen table, answering emails about orders after dinner, when Buck and Chris walk in. Buck has that mischievous, self-satisfied glint in his eye that always raises Eddie’s blood pressure a few points, but Chris looks nervous. He’s fidgeting with the notebook in his hands and has the same wide-eyed look he had when he opened every one of his college acceptance letters.

Eddie shuts his laptop and pushes it to the side. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine. Chris just has a question for you.” Buck nudges him gently with his elbow before sitting down at the table. Chris follows suit, taking the seat across for Eddie, looking nervous still but more determined. He takes a deep breath and finally looks Eddie in the eye.

“So,” he starts. “Tomorrow’s my birthday.”

Eddie nods. “Same day every year.”

Buck snorts and Chris rolls his eyes. “Yeah, Dad. And I know we already have plans, but I wanted to add one more thing for us to do.”

“Sure, buddy. What did you have in mind?”

Chris takes another deep breath and answers quickly on the exhale so it comes out like Iwannageddatattoo. Eddie tilts his head and leans forward. “Come again?”

Another breath. “I want to get a tattoo. Tomorrow. For my birthday.” He flips through the notebook in front of him, landing on a page and sliding it towards Eddie. There’s things scratched out all over the page but the final design is clearly circled — the Big and Little Dippers, each point made of small, hand-drawn asterisks and connected by even lines of dots. It’s clean, simple, and Eddie thinks it looks beautiful (though mostly because Chris put a lot of effort into putting it together).

“They look great, Chris,” he says, “and you technically won’t need my permission to get it tomorrow, but I’m sure I can sway someone at Armageddon to get you an appointment.”

Buck smiles and nods. “Already on the schedule. But there’s something else Chris wanted to ask.” He looks pointedly at Chris, who rolls his eyes again and nods.

“So I want to get this one,” he says, reaching across the table and pointing at the Little Dipper. “And I thought, if you want— you don’t have to, but—” he moves his hand to the Big Dipper. “I was wondering if you would get this one with me?”

Eddie could cry. He very well might with how fast he feels his eyes welling up. He and Chris have always been close — something he’s been thankful for every day of his son’s teenage years — but this is something else entirely. He got his first tattoo out of spite towards his parents, and now Chris wants to get one with him?

He’s quiet for too long, because Chris looks even more nervous. He clears his throat and reaches across the table to take Chris’ hand in his. “I’d love to. If you’re sure. This is a pretty permanent decision.”

Chris smiles. “They’re our stars. I want us to get them together.”

Now Eddie’s definitely going to cry. He remembers summer nights in El Paso after Shannon had left — when neither of them could sleep, so they snuggled in the hammock in their backyard instead and stared up at the stars. He didn’t know many constellations, but there were two that he could always find.

“They look like spoons,” Chris had said once, still small enough to fit snuggly to Eddie’s side.

“They do,” Eddie said. “But they’re not just spoons, they’re part of bigger pictures — Ursa Major and Minor, Big Bear and Little Bear.”

“Like a dad and a baby?” Chris asked. Eddie’s heart clenched — because he’d burrowed impossibly closer when he asked that, because he hadn’t asked about a mom, because he loves this kid so much he’d grab every star in the sky for him if he wanted them — and he ran his fingers through soft curls, trying to stay in the moment for as long as he can.

“That’s right,” he said, voice rougher than he wanted. “They’re always together, always protecting each other. Just like you and me.”

“Forever?” Chris asked as he placed his hand in Eddie’s.

Eddie swallowed, pressing a kiss to the top of Chris’ head and clasping their hands together. “Forever and ever.”

He meant it — he still means it — but the fact that Chris kept that promise with him too all these years, turned it into something precious, something worth immortalizing, it makes Eddie wish he could go back in time and tell his younger self that everything would be fine. That whatever doubts he had swirling in his head while laying in that hammock were for nothing — that he was and is a good father, who raised the best kid in the world to be full of joy and happiness and love, just like he promised himself he would the minute Chris was born.

He laughs as he feels tears fall for real, and Chris laughs wetly too, coming over to him and hugging him tight around the neck. Eddie holds on just as hard, reaching down to grasp Buck’s hand too when he feels him squeeze his knee.

He hopes those lucky stars are listening when he sends up a thank you for giving him this family.

“I love you, Dad,” Chris says.

Eddie untangles them enough to take Chris’ face in his hands, get a good look at his son — his beautiful, perfect boy, who’s becoming a better man than Eddie could’ve ever hoped for.

“I love you too, kid. Forever and ever.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Chris goes first the next day, brave face on until Buck starts up the machine and brings it to the inside of his bicep.

He grabs Eddie’s hand and squeezes hard. Eddie doesn’t let it go.

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 fox #buddie fic #911 fic #9-1-1 #the flower shop #ficcery #it's finally a series!!#HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELI ILYSM I COULD CRY

96 notes · View notes

tngrace · 4 years

Note

“I really need you” please!

Thank you nonnie. this is gonna be another coda/extension of 2.03 with members of the 118 making an appearance in the story. I tweaked some of the dialog, and who said and did some things to make it fit where I was going with this. Plus it gave me an excuse to watch parts of the episode again, especially stealing the fire truck scene. 😍🤣

And @moviegeek03 thank you for being so wonderful and becoming a trusted friend. Have some of that TK whump we discussed. 😉 i’m pretty sure this is the most whump I've ever written in one setting. This also ended up being more Judd & TK focused than Tarlos.... not sure how that happened. 🤔

Prompt was from this list. I'm officially closing that list but please feel free to send me a request if you have one and I'll see if I can do anything with it.

4 word prompts masterlist- find all completed fics & requests waiting to be written here. I've got 2 left to write after this one.

TK was exhausted. They'd been working the wildfire for a week, getting little sleep. Out of state crews were to be arriving any minute, and he was hoping that would mean they could catch a break. He just wanted a little rest, and to talk to Carlos. The few texts they'd exchanged wasn't enough anymore.

Before he was able to find a quiet spot for a call, his dad called a meeting with all the out of state crews that had arrived. He let's out a deep breath and throws on his jacket, before joining his crew. Out of town crews made him uncomfortable just because he wasn't sure he could trust them. With his team, they knew each other's moves and thoughts as they worked together. He knew they needed the help, but he was leary. His leariness remained especially when he saw some guy constantly staring at Marjan. It set his already frayed nerves on edge.

TK is gathering shovels and picks with Mateo when he learns Judd, Paul and Marjan are abandoning them with one of the 118 crew members. To say he is not happy about it would be an understatement. He tries to put on his best face though, and he can’t turn off his friendly personality even though he tries when he realizes it's the guy who stared Marj down. Plus Mateo is doing his damnedest to engage him so TK throws in his own comments to try and help because he knows how personally Mateo takes things and he just wants to protect him.

The work is hard and tiring on his already tired body. Plus Buck just doesn’t seem to want to engage with him. TK understands though; Buck is probably feeling just as abandoned as he is by his team which he tries to convey to Mateo. At least TK still has Mateo; Buck was left by both of his other team members. As they’re comparing their wildest calls, TK sees a burning car rolling down the hill at top speed at them. He doesn’t even think; he just reacts diving towards Buck with a yell at Mateo to look out.

He collides full force with Buck, knocking him out of the way. He can feel the air knocked out of himself as well as they collide with the ground. They’re up and moving before his body can even process possible injuries, the adrenaline spurring them on. Once the fire is out, and the dog is reunited with his owner, TK doubles over to catch his breath. He can feel the struggle, knowing he must have sustained some bruising to his ribs when knocking Buck out of the way. He feels a twinge in his ankle too, but ignores it. He can’t afford to be hurt though with it being all hands on deck, so he takes as deep a breath as he can and stands back up before anyone can notice.

“So that was weird,” Buck says to him as they watch the guy retrieving his dog from Mateo.

“Right?” TK says with a confused look on his face.

“Nice moves by the way. Good reflexes,” Buck says with a smile on his face before he walks off to get back to work.

“Yea you too,” TK says watching the scene and still mentally trying to asses himself. He has enough medic training to know what he should be feeling for, and when all he can come up with is the soreness in his ribs, he decides to push on.

After that, Buck opens up more to them also explaining his fixation with Marjan earlier, and it makes the day pass faster. TK does his best to ignore the aching in his ribs and ankle. Buck notices how off TK would get at times, especially when he wouldn’t take a break from digging, but he brushed off every attempt Buck made at making sure he was ok. Mateo has noticed the same thing, but he also knows when to push and when not to push TK.

By night fall, they’re heading back down the mountain, still discussing their wildest calls, and TK is limping and having to pause his talking every now and then to catch a breath. His ribs and ankle are throbbing now, and he just wants some Tylenol and bed. Mateo effectively ends their pissing contest on who has the wildest calls, but before he can even contemplate the fact that Probie was the voice of reason, they encounter the rest of their teams minus his dad and Hen.

They tease them about already having their feet up, but one look at Judd and Marjan and TK knows somethings wrong. “What? What’s wrong?” he asks feeling the panic building under his skin. It’s not ideal for his ribs, but he can’t stop it, not with the way they’re looking at him.

“You didn’t hear did you?” Marjan finally asks finding her voice first. TK is looking between all of them as he hears Buck ask, “hear what?”

Paul speaks up then, explaining how his dad and Hen went up to provide air support to find the missing kid. TK’s eyes never leave them as he listens, his breathing becoming more erratic the longer Paul talks. When he hears the fateful words that the chopper went down, he’s almost positive he stops breathing. He feels his world tilting; he feels his knees giving out, but before he hits the ground again, Judd is off the back of the ATV so fast TK is not sure how it happens.

“Woah there brother,” he says his arms coming underneath TK to catch him. TK can’t stop the whine when Judd’s hands connect with his sore ribs. “What the hell?” Judd asks him as he holds him up.

“Uh... I might can help with that,” Buck says when TK refuses to answer Judd. He explains how TK saved him from the runaway car, and how he’d been limping and breathing weird ever since. He explains that he tried to get TK to take it easy, but TK insisted he was fine and kept working.

“Of course he did,” Judd says before muttering under his breath about idiot little brothers.

“Uh... Judd,” Paul and Marjan say at the same time as TK’s erratic breathing becomes extremely apparent and his eyes glass over.

“Fuck,” Judd grunts as he takes more of TK’s weight. “Let me get him calmed down and then you can check him over,” he tells Eddie before more or less dragging TK off to the first quiet spot he can find. They’ve been down this road with TK’s panic attacks before, and Judd seemed the best to handle them.

He gets TK seated before coming around in front of him and placing his hands on TK’s shoulders. “Hey kid. Eyes on me,” he says as one of his hands come up to cradles TK’s neck to keep his head from lolling too much. He can tell TK has really worked himself up this time, by the glassy look in his eyes and how TK doesn't appear to hear him. “TK! Look at me,” he says sternly as he finally gets TK’s eyes on him. He takes TK’s hand and places it along his own chest so TK can feel his breaths.

“I’m gonna call Carlos and you’re going to focus on breathing,” Judd tells him digging in his pocket for his phone while making sure TK stays with him. “Slow and steady,” Judd reminds him as he focuses on keeping his own breaths even for TK to match.

“Gracie!” Judd says when she picks up. “I need you to get me Carlos. TK is having a panic attack, and he needs to talk to him,” Judd relays. He knows she’s working tonight, and he’s not sure about Carlos so he did the only thing he knew would guarantee Carlos would answer. It doesn’t take Grace five minutes before she has Carlos on the line. Judd quickly explains what has happened and that he needs Carlos to talk to TK.

He puts the phone on speaker so he can go back to holding TK’s head up. “Alright Reyes you’re on speaker. He can hear you,” Judd relays and he steadies his breathing once more for TK.

“Ty, you’re ok. I’m here. Judd’s there. You’re whole team is there. I know you’re tired. I know you’re exhausted, but I need you to focus on breathing for me ok?” Carlos murmurs softly. Judd can tell TK is focusing more listening to Carlos and he tells him to keep talking.

Slowly but surely TK comes back around and his breathing is more even. “Carlos,” he finally says in a choked whisper when he realizes his boyfriend is talking to him.

“Yea love, I’m here,” Carlos says as TK finally reaches for the phone from Judd.

“You good? You’re not gonna kill over on me are you?” Judd asks him as he sees TK sitting up more on his own.

“I’m good,” TK promises as Judd finally passes him the phone.

“Five minutes little brother, and then I’m letting the Army medic check you over,” he warns before giving TK time to talk to Carlos.

TK takes the phone off speaker, but he knows Carlos has already heard. “Ty? Why is the medic looking you over?” he asks TK with worry clearly seeping through his tone.

“Judd’s being overprotective as usual,” TK says but he knows Carlos doesn’t buy it. He lets out a sigh and then winces when his ribs twinge. “I’m tired, exhausted really. I saved one of the other guys from a different team today from a runaway car. The collision with the ground may or may not have bruised my ribs, and I may or may not have tweaked my ankle, but I’m fine,” he tries to stress not wanting his boyfriend to worry anymore.

“Tyler,” Carlos stresses knowing TK is not fine. If he was fine, Judd would not have had to call him tonight.

“Ok, I’m not fine,” TK admits trying to hold his tears off. “I’m hurt. I’m tired, so tired. Dad is possibly hurt or dying or we don’t know. He.. He crashed in a helicopter and no one’s heard from him, and I just... I just got him back from the cancer, and I just almost lost him last week. I just.. I can’t... I can’t... I can’t do this again. I can’t lose him. I can’t... ” he gets out in a rush with his breathing hitching and his ribs protesting.

“Easy Tiger. Breathe,” Carlos calms. “Breathe TK. It’s going to be ok.” TK tries his level best to control his breathing and stop the tears once more.

“I just really need you,” he gets out as a few stray tears fall. “I don’t think I can do this.”

TK can hear background noise and Carlos talking to someone in Spanish, before Carlos is telling him he will come. “Wait? Who was that? Where are you?” TK asks knowing Carlos rarely uses his Spanish unless he’s on the phone with his family or on a call where he needs to use it. TK doesn’t think Carlos is working, which means he must be with or around his family.

“I was at my parents,” Carlos tells him. “But I’m coming to you, ok?”

“What? No! You can’t!” TK says feeling the panic rise once more. Carlos won’t even broach the topic of his parents with him, and TK doesn’t know why. He hasn’t had the time to question Carlos on it either between Tim’s death and being called out to assist with the wildfire, but TK knows it’s something. But the last thing TK wants is to pull Carlos away from his family knowing how little time Carlos gets with them. Besides he doesn’t want Carlos near this fire either.

“TK it’s fine. I can be there within three hours. Just breathe baby,” he says when he hears TK’s hitching breath once more.

“Carlos no. Don’t. Stay with them, please,” TK begs the tears falling faster now despite how much he tries to stop them. It’s amazing how broken down and non-cooperative the body can get when it reaches the stage of exhaustion TK is in. He doesn’t want Carlos’s parents to have a bad impression of him if they know about him, or for them to be mad he’s pulling Carlos away when they rarely get to see him. It's causing his panic to rise once again.

Judd has returned to force TK into being checked over and notices the tears and erratic breathing once more. “Damn it kid,” he says as he kneels in front of him again. He once again places TK’s hand along side his chest, before putting the phone back on speaker. Carlos is doing his best to get TK to listen and calm down, but Judd finally has to speak up.

“It’s not working. Look I’m gonna see if I can get him calm,” he tells Carlos who then explains what happened. Judd sighs knowing TK’s mind is just too worn down at this point. “Drive safe,” he tells Carlos before hanging up knowing it’s useless to try and tell Carlos to stay in Austin.

“Alright kid, breathe with me,” Judd instructs as he forces TK to focus on him and breathe. Once TK is breathing normally again, Judd motions for Eddie to come over and check him out. The others have gone to the command tent to see if they can reason with the Commander. Judd would love to be in there helping them, but he knows his anger would get the best of him because he knows what the Commander is going to say. Besides TK needs him and that is his top priority right now.

Eddie checks TK over, noticing the dark bruising along his ribs. He feels of them making TK wince as he apologizes but they both know it has to be done, and while they don’t feel broken, with the bruising he thinks one might be cracked. “I’m good,” TK tries to say, but Judd ain’t buying it.

“Just let him wrap your damn ribs kid,” Judd says tossing Eddie an ace bandage. “I know you’re not gonna stay in the tent and rest, even though that’s where you should be, so at least let us make sure you’re not going to do more damage.”

TK finally relents and Eddie does his best to stabilize TK’s ribs. He then moves on to check TK’s ankle, and once his boot is removed, the swelling is obvious. Eddie feels along it and determines it is just twisted. TK had come to the same conclusion, so he lets Eddie put a brace on it to keep from making it worse. Eddie leaves them with it once he’s finished his medical assessment, knowing Judd probably needs a minute with his kid brother.

“Look I know I’m not going to be able to keep you sidelined on this,” Judd started getting a definitive agreement from TK making Judd rolls his eyes hard. “But I want you to be smart about it, and try not to make your injuries worse.”

TK does agree to that, even though they both know once he's caught up in the moment, he'll forget his promise. He doesn’t want to be laid up anymore than Judd wants him injured. “Now wanna tell me why talking to your boy sent you into another spiral?” Judd asks as he helps TK up and towards a picnic table.

“Not really,” TK murmurs as he drops down to rest.

“Fine. I won’t make you talk if you don’t want to. I know what that’s like. But you know I’m here for you bub.” At TK’s nod, Judd announces he’s going to find them food and water and for TK not to move. TK decides he needs to inform his mom what is happening, so while Judd is gone he calls her. He’s just wrapping up the call when he feels someone walking up behind him. He assumes it’s Judd returning with the promised food and water, he had no plans of touching, but is surprised to see it’s Buck with pizza.

Even though Judd had told him not to move, TK is up and moving as Buck starts to talk. He doesn’t think he can handle any small talk, and he doesn’t want to talk about how he is. He just wants to find his dad, even though he knows deep down he is in no position to go out looking for him. Even though he knows it, he doesn’t think it’s going to stop him, especially when Buck holds up keys to the fire truck.

They grab their go bags and sneak through the command center. TK is a little slower than he’d like because of his ribs and ankle, but Buck is patient with him. TK tries to talk Buck out of going so he doesn’t get fired as well, but Buck doesn’t back down. TK is thankful because he knows he’s not fully up to going this alone. He gets frustrated easily when Buck doesn’t explain his total plan and tries to divert him from the 118′s truck. He just wants to get in it and go before Judd finds him.

It doesn’t take long for Judd to gather everyone up when he gets back to the table he’d left TK at and finds it empty. Eddie is the first to piece it together when he realizes Buck is also missing. They grab backpacks and race off to the fire trucks, splitting up to surround them when they see two bodies trying to sneak around. They flip on their flashlights and Judd speaks up before the guys make it to the 126′s truck.

“Hey! Dumbass! Dumbasser!” Judd calls out making them both freeze. TK knows he’s screwed by Judd’s tone of voice. He slowly turns to face Judd and realizes Paul and Mateo are with him. He sees Buck looking the other direction, so he can only assume Marjan and Eddie are there. “Did you stop and consider the consequences of what you’re about to do at all?” Judd asks shining his light on TK making him wince hard at the bright light as Paul shines his on Buck.

TK’s theory of Marjan and Eddie coming in from the other side is confirmed when they both speak up. “You obviously don’t know Buck.”

“You two didn’t seriously think that you could sneak off and drive into wildfires did you?” Marjan asks in an accusatory tone, making TK scrunch his face with a wince feeling like a scolded kid.

“Yes?” he says, more like asks, timidly. He’s hurting, he’s exhausted. He just wants to find his dad and sleep for a month. He wants this stupid wildfire over with so he can go back home.

“Well that ain’t gonna happen,” Paul finally pipes up. TK feels the defeat creeping in until Buck stands up to them. “You think you’re gonna stop us?” he asks.

“Stop you? We’re going with you,” Mateo supplies like an excited puppy going on his first adventure. “Come on let’s go,” Eddie say as everyone starts loading up.

TK and Buck share a look as everyone jumps into the truck. TK gives Judd a skeptical look making Judd roll his eyes. “Just get in the damn truck before I change my mind,” he huffs helping TK climb up. Once everyone is in, they take off up the mountain to find their captain and Hen.

Judd does his best to keep TK from over-exerting, but it’s useless. As soon as the truck stopped, TK was out and racing for the helicopter despite his limp. Judd watched from the sidelines as TK crawled all over it, screaming for his dad. He knew they weren’t there though; he knew Owen would’ve tried to get them somewhere safer. He can see the defeat creeping in to TK’s face. He decides to take the lead and tells everyone to fan out. He grabs TK and makes him come with him so he can keep an eye on him. He takes the backpack off TK’s back so it’s less he’s carrying and exerting himself.

Once Hen and Owen are found, Judd can’t stop TK from climbing into the mine to get to his dad. He knows TK is probably doing more damage to his ankle and ribs, but he can’t stop him. They’re able to get both Hen and Owen out safely and loaded in the trucks. TK sits next to his dad the whole way back, telling him over and over he’s going to be ok even though Owen is unconscious.

Since they were able to complete the rescue safely, their reprimands are minimal. Once they’re dismissed from the Commander, Judd steers TK to the medical tent. “No argument,” he says gruffly when he sees TK start to protest. “You are hurt. You are exhausted, and brother, I’ve lived through the kinda panic attack you hard earlier. You are resting. You are getting fluids and a proper medical assessment even if I have to tie your ass to the bed.”

“That won’t be necessary Judd,” they hear turning towards the voice. Carlos is standing there in uniform watching them. He’d used his badge and uniform shamelessly to get through to San Angelo as quickly as he could after hanging up with TK. He hadn’t explained it to his parents, just told them he had to go, and here he was.

TK’s eyes filled with tears before he could stop them. Carlos had really come. He was here. TK all but collapses in his arms, and Carlos catches him as always. “I’ll leave ya to it,” Judd says clasping Carlos’s shoulder before he goes to check on the captain.

Carlos gets TK over to a bed, and TK clings to him when Carlos tries to lay him down. “I’m not going anywhere Tiger,” he whispers as he finally gets TK stretched out. A medic comes and checks TK over, Judd having sent her over after detailing what he knew of TK’s condition. She starts an iv to run fluids before listening to his lungs. She doesn’t think anything is broken, but she does advise he take it easy in case one is cracked. She elevates his ankle wrapping it in ice and suggesting he rest for the time being. Carlos sits by his bed the whole time carding his finger through TK’s hair.

“I’m sorry you left your parents,” TK says quietly.

“Don’t,” Carlos tells him as he softly kisses him. “You needed me, and here I am. I always said I would come if you needed, and that doesn’t change just because I’m visiting my parents.”

TK gives him a sleepy nod, Carlos’s fingers working like magic as always to relax him. “Rest TK, and then we’ll go home and you can rest some more.” TK turns into Carlos’s touch giving a sleepy nod, before he lets his body succumb to the exhaustion and he falls fast asleep.

The out of town crews are dismissed while TK is sleeping. Eddie and Buck both check in on TK and see Carlos sitting beside him watching him sleep. They leave their numbers and well wishes with Carlos before following Hen to check on the captain. They let her have a moment with him, while they say goodbye to the rest of the team. The 126 decide to all catch some sleep now that the wildfire is contained. They know they’ll be dismissed to return to Austin soon, but they all need some much needed sleep. They check in on their Strand boys before they all crash for some much needed rest.

It’s the next day before they load the truck to head home. TK decides to ride back with Carlos letting his dad have room to stretch out in the back of the truck to rest as Judd drives them home. He’s still feeling the exhaustion, and he’s glad they have mandated time off. His head lolls against the window as Carlos drives them home. He knows over the next few days they’ll have to talk about his panic attack and how he freaked out again over Carlos’s parents, but for now he’s just glad to be back with Carlos and almost home.

#tarlos #tarlos fic #911 lone star #911 lone star fic #4 word prompt fic #writers life #big brother judd #judd & tk #126 & 118 #i love a fire fam #this is more fire fam than tarlos #but i got my tarlos moments in there

66 notes · View notes

richiefuckfacetozier · 5 years

Text

Why Can't This Be Love

Chapter 1: Here It Comes

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Click to read on Archive

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak

Title - Why Can't This Be Love by Van Halen

Dedicated to @slashpalooza and @sam-i-am2468

___

Eddie’s Tuesday started out as it normally did. Half a grapefruit for breakfast, thoroughly shower, text his best friend, Richie, a stupid meme, call Mike to confirm lunch for tomorrow, work from 8am to 6pm, and come home to pour himself a glass of wine.

Right now he was pouring 4 glasses because around 3:00pm, Beverly called asking if her and Ben could come by to tell him something exciting and that Richie had to be there too. He was not sure what they could possibly want to talk about with the two of them. Eddie tried to push down the anxiety that they might be angry about something. He was pretty sure he didn’t do anything horrible recently, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Richie! Can you help me?” Eddie shouted from the kitchen of his apartment. “I don’t have enough hands to carry everything!”

“Coming, my love!” Richie joked annoyingly. Although Eddie didn’t find it entirely annoying, it’s just Richie being ridiculous.

His tall friend padded into the kitchen wearing his worn out leather jacket that he thought made him look cool, a print shirt with a meme on it that Eddie didn’t get, and jeans, “I know what they are going to tell us.” Richie stated confidently with a little bounce in his step.

“Did they tell you already? That’s not fair!” Eddie said in frustration. “They couldn’t wait two more damn minutes?”

“No, I have a guess, Eds.”

“Don’t call me Eds.”

“I think Ben finally got the courage to propose to Beverly.” Richie went on with a smile. “Or she grabbed him by the balls and told him to do it.”

Eddie snorted at the imagery and wouldn’t put it past Bev to be that aggressive but probably wouldn’t to the love of her life. “That’s wonderful if it’s the news.”

“I bet you 50 bucks it is,” Richie challenged, “Ben was looking mighty anxious at Bill’s wedding a year ago.”

Eddie rubbed the back of his neck, “I barely remember Bill’s wedding. I was so blackedout.”

Richie rolled his eyes dramatically, “You were stupidly mourning the loss of Myra the hydra.” Eddie cringed at the mention of his ex-girlfriend.

“Be nice, Rich.” Eddie frowned. He pulled out a packet of thin mint girl scout cookies for all of them to snack on.

Richie rolled his eyes as he sipped quickly from the glass of wine, clearly not finished speaking, “I don’t know why either. She was a carbon copy of your mother. Her leaving was the best thing to ever happen to you.”

“Yes, being extremely single has done wonders for my self-esteem.” Eddie mumbled.

Richie leaned over and flicked Eddie’s nose, “You’re a catch, dummy.”

He yelped, rubbing his nose and getting goosebumps from their intensely close position. Eddie grabbed the other two glasses, thin mints and turned on his heel to walk out of the kitchen. “Fine, 50 bucks it isn’t an engagement.”

“Sweet! Also, those pants look good on you.” Richie pointed out following from behind him.

Eddie’s cheeks heated up a little, he purposely wore these dark navy blue jeans because Richie always compliments them. He wondered if Richie remembered that he did this every time. Eddie doubted it. When it was just the two of them, Richie constantly tried to make Eddie feel special and wanted. Eddie suspected Richie did it because he felt sorry for him, but he couldn’t be sure. Despite knowing his best friend pretty well, he was also a huge enigma. Constantly says whatever is on his mind, does the most spontaneous - borderline suicidal - things, and keeps a smile on his face no matter what he may be feeling.

They plop down on the couch in Eddie’s living room. His place was what Richie called a ‘clean mess’, probably the best description of Eddie ever said. He had the habit of hoarding things he didn’t really need. Piles of books on every table that he had already read, knick-knacks from trips, more candles than any one person needed on all open surfaces. He had really nice furniture that matched well in a blend of warm colors. Beverly and Ben sat in two mahogany chairs across from them, holding hands.

Eddie placed the wine glasses on monster movie poster coasters that Richie gifted him years ago when they were teens. They grew up together and remained close throughout the years, regardless of college or moving around. In fact, Eddie had six very close friends from childhood. The group called themselves the Losers Club, a title courtesy of Richie.

“Thanks, Eddie!” Beverly said nicely. Ben thanked him too. Richie sat beside Eddie, the side of their thighs touching as he scooted closer to hand him wine. Eddie always felt so comfortable around all his friends, they were the only ones he let be touchy with him. He used to hate germs and be easily disgusted by everything, but when the people he was closest with shared food, drinks, and beds with him, that feeling went away gradually.

“Alright, lads,” Richie started up with a newsies kid accent. “What’s the scoop? Striking Pulitzer again?”

“Well,” Ben’s round cheeks turned pink as he said, “We’ve got pretty big news.” Eddie observed Ben take both Beverly’s hands into his own big ones.

Beverly was practically jumping in her seat, her flamming red short curls bouncing against the sides of her face. She shared a big smile with Ben as she blurted out, “WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!”

“FUCK YES!” Richie shouted. He flew off the couch tackling Beverly in a huge hug.

“Please, don’t hurt my girlfrie-I mean fiancé.” Ben said softly, clearly surprised how much he enjoyed calling her that.

Eddie got up to hug Ben tightly, saying congratulations. Beverly kissed both men before they sat back down. Eddie raised his glass. “Cheers, to two people who’s friendship, romance, and love are unparalleled.”

They clinked glasses and drank. Richie bumped Eddie lightly, “Cheers to owing me $50.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie nodded toward the counter. “You can grab it from my wallet before you go home.”

“You can just buy me dinner this weekend.” Richie waved his hand.

“So Rich, you know what me getting married also means?” Beverly’s eyes shined brightly at him. He looked between her and Ben, thinking. Then dawning flashed on his face. He put his glass down and stood on the couch.

“Richie, no!” Eddie pleaded desperately. “You are going to fall! Idiot!”

He jumped up and down like a child discovering Christmas came early. “I AM GOING TO BE DUDE OF HONOR!”

They all laughed at his excitement. One of the things the losers club decided in their 20’s, after a particularly ugly fight about who would be who’s best man or ‘dude of honor’ in this case, was that each of them would take turns.

So far, Bill and Stanley had gotten married. To two incredible women, Audra and Patty. Eddie was Bill’s and Bill was Stan’s best man. The rest of the sequence goes: Mike is Richie’s, Richie is Bev’s, Bev is Eddie’s, Stan is Ben’s, and Ben is Mike’s. Mike is fairly confident he won’t get married and neither will Richie, which he says is for the best as he is far too stressed as a person to get married or be a best man.

Eddie recalled that a huge fight he had with Myra was over Beverly being his Best Woman. She shouted at him for hours that there was no reason a woman should be when he had all these guy friends. Explaining the losers club deal to her did nothing but place fuel on the fire. ‘Sometimes I think you love them more than me!’ Looking back, he most certainly did. Eddie was fairly certain he would always love the losers most in this world. Which furthered the cycle of being horribly single. Sometimes he thought he was in a polyamorous asexual relationship with 6 other people. They were too close.

Richie finished up his jumping and landed on the couch half on Eddie. “OW!” Eddie yelled. “That fucking hurt. You aren’t light enough to plop all your weight on me.”

Richie slung an arm over Eddie’s shoulders and kissed the side of his face. “Sorry, Eds.”

Eddie wiped his face that got kissed on Richie’s shoulder, pretending to get the germs off. “Have you told everyone else?”

“We have…” Ben begun slowly. Eddie didn’t like the tone he was using. “Stanley’s already started his best man duties.”

“Why wouldn’t you just tell us you’re getting married altogether like Bill and Stan did?” Richie said, seeming to also realize this was odd.

“Because we have to ask a favor of you.” Ben brought his hand up to start biting his nails the way he did when he was about to deliver bad news.

“Favor is too nice, babe. This is not a favor or a request. It is a requirement if you both want to be at this wedding.” Beverly let go of Ben’s hand to place it on her knee. She rubbed her thighs once, gearing up to tell them. Eddie had a couple guesses about what she may want to say but nothing prepared him for what it actually was, “You have to bring a date.”

Eddie leaned back in confusion, realizing Richie’s arm was still around him so it brought them both laying back against the couch. Richie removed his arm and started fidgeting with his fingers. Eddie worried his bottom lip before saying quietly, “Why?”

Beverly looked to Eddie with sympathy. “I’m sorry, Eddie, but we don’t want a repeat of Stan and Bill’s weddings.”

Eddie’s face immediately turned red with embarrassment. Three years ago, Stanley got married and that was around when he left his mother’s place for the third time. A year later, Bill got married and he had his break up with Myra. On both occasions, Eddie took a bad combination of too many pills and drinking more than he ever had in his life. Resulting in major blackouts and behavior he cannot remember but knows second hand from everyone what happened.

“Why do we both have to have dates?” Richie said, voice a little strained and weird.

Beverly rounded on him with no sympathy. “Because, Richard, when YOU go to weddings you fuck everyone and break shit. A date will keep you focused on that person and not be a chaotic monster with a death wish.”

Richie laughed, “If I want to be fucked by all your bridesmaids at the same time then I should be allowed to do that!”

Beverly’s voice rose higher, “That’s literally not possible, asshole! And the only bridesmaid is Kay McCall.”

“Damn. Kay’s beautiful but I don’t screw married women.” Richie’s face scrunched up. “Does that make her a bride’s matron?”

“High morals there Richie,” Ben said trying to lighten the mood.

“You know it Ben Handsome.” He winked.

Eddie sat there trying to word what he wanted to say carefully. As Richie continued to dig himself a deeper hole, “We are getting off-topic. I’m saying if I want to have sex with someone and have a little fun or if Eddie wants to get so drunk he mistakes your grandma for a urinal, then we should have that right.”

This brings Eddie back, “Richie!”

“What? Nana Denbrough thought she was at a waterpark. You’re fine.”

He put his hands on his face and folded forward. Richie scratched his back soothingly but didn’t stop trying to defend himself. Beverly eventually got so fed up that she pulled out her phone and played a video from YouTube.

“Exhibit A, Bill and Audra’s wedding.” She said viciously.

Eddie groaned as he raised his head to watch the screen. Bill’s younger brother Georgie had filmed people talking about Bill and Audra. He put the most unfortunate video, starring Eddie and Richie, on the internet for the world to see.

Video Eddie looked miserable and spaced out. Georgie had to say his name three times before Eddie looked up and hiccuped. “Oh hey, Georgie!” Video Eddie said enthusiastically. “Having fun kiddo?”

“I’m 21, Eddie. Not really a kid anymore.” Georgie’s voice said laughing.

“Stay a kid forever,” Eddie begged him.

“Ok, Eddie. What do you want to say to Bill and Audra?”

“Bill...I want you to know that you are the bravest man alive and I would die for you. Audra, you better be good to him.” Video Eddie points at the camera and almost falls forward. Suddenly, video Richie appears, catching him. He giggles bopping video Richie on the nose and keeping his face precariously close to video Richie’s face.

Video Eddie frowns suddenly and looks back at the camera, “But don’t fall too too in love. You might get your heart broken like me. Love is dumb. Women are dumb. They don’t really care about you.”

Video Richie had his hair slicked back and was laughing at video Eddie’s truths, “Eds! This day isn’t about you. It’s about Bill and Audra. We should be telling stories about them!”

“Oh god,” Eddie said as his stomach turned reliving the next part again.

“So Audra, let me tell you about Bill’s first time. He had a girlfriend in high school, blonde and pretty, much like yourself and they were dating for about…”

Video Eddie hiccups, “4 months.” Then smashes his face into video Richie’s neck. “You smell like whiskey.” He winces.

Video Richie laughed, cheeks reddening from drunkenness, “Thank you, Eds. When they decided to fuck for the first time, he got everything all set and she came over that evening. As he was eating her out.”

“Richie, kids could see this.” Video Georgie warned through obvious laughter.

“As Bill was going downtown on her hoo-hoo she got a little too excited and shat the bed.” All three men were shrieking with laughter. Video Eddie wrapped his arms around video Richie, shaking uncontrollably with glee. Despite the horribleness of the situation, Eddie smiled a little. “Now it’s unclear where all the crap ended up but we can guess that…”

Beverly stopped the video glaring at Richie intently. Eddie looked at him and he only smiled. “We won’t even get into the nuclear mess that was Stanley and Patti Uris’s wedding right now. But we want you both to have a date so there is no chance of you completely embarrassing me, Ben, and yourselves.”

Eddie scoffed, “Richie embarrasses himself on every date he goes on. What makes you think one brought to the wedding will be any better?”

“Oh yeah?” Richie gazed at him steadily. Eddie braced himself for the incoming insult. As much as he could dish it, he rarely could take it. Especially against Richie’s quick tongue, “And when was the last time you even fucking went on a date to embarrass yourself?”

“I can get dates!”

“A night alone with your right hand isn’t a date.”

“Shut the fuck up, Trashmouth!”

Suddenly, two armchair pillows smacked the side of Eddie and Richie’s heads. They both rounded on Beverly and Ben but the stare of death Beverly was giving stopped their prepared protests.

“If you assholes want to come to my wedding,”

“Our wedding…” Ben whispered.

She turned her ever reddening face, almost the color of her hair, at her financé, “Not if you correct me, Benjamin! Don’t make me marry myself!” She focused back on Eddie and Richie, pointing a bitten nail at them menacingly. “...you will have dates and BEHAVE at the reception or so help me, I’ll castrate you!”

There was a pregnant pause broken by the one who can never stay quiet long. “What about the ceremony?” Richie responded, “Can I at least ruin that?”

She stared at him, everyone ready for more yelling but instead she broke into a gorgeous smile and laughed. It lightened the moment but Eddie didn’t find he felt any less anxious. He fully contemplated this enormous request from his friends. Finding a good wedding date took time, he only ever had committed relationships. Well, the one with Myra. As much as Richie’s words hurt, he was right. Eddie didn’t go on dates. People didn’t tend to find him datable. “Too short, too high maintenance, too weird” were just a few of the flaws that consumed him. He had no clue how he was expected to get someone to go to this wedding with him.

The four of them started discussing wedding details, Beverly and Richie talking a mile a minute about everything that had to get done. He was especially excited to plan a bachelorette party. With how much money Ben and Bev make, it sounded like they would get their dream wedding easily.

Eddie was thrilled for them but that pang of being single and now having to find a date was eating him alive for the two more hours they stayed. When they finally called it a night, Beverly and Ben hugged them promising to talk tomorrow.

Richie did not follow them out which meant he wanted to drink and talk more, probably spend the night there. Eddie had a guest room that was essentially Richie’s room since he spent the most time there.

“You want ice cream?” Richie shouted from the kitchen where he was most likely opening another bottle of wine.

“With chocolate syrup!” Eddie yelled back.

“Oh, chocolate syrup night means major troubles.” Richie laughed.

“What are we gonna do Rich?” Eddie whined miserably. “Or rather, what the fuck am I going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“About the fucking dates!” Eddie laid sideways on the couch, grabbing the cushion pillow and placing it over his face to scream into.

“Don’t be a drama queen.” Richie said. The couch shifted as he sat down by Eddie’s legs.

“That’s easy for you to say.” Eddie mumbled into the pillow.

Two hands extracted the pillow from his face. Eddie kept his eyes scrunched closed. “I can’t speak pillow.”

Eddie huffed out, “It’s easy for you to not be worried. You are a serial dater.”

“Open your eyes, Eds.” Richie chuckled. Eddie opened them to pout childishly at him.

He had his smirky smile on, which could only mean he had a terrible idea. “I have a great idea to get us out of getting actual dates.”

Eddie stared at him from his laid down position, probably giving Richie an unattractive double chin, “There is no loophole in this agreement, Rich. Beverly was really fucking clear. We have to have dates.”

“And we will.” Richie poured wine into both their glasses. He handed it to Eddie, forcing him to sit up in order to drink it. While Eddie drank normally, Richie downed his quickly then licked his lips.

“Who am I gonna have to take to Ben and Beverly’s wedding?”

Richie watched him carefully, opened his mouth and said, “You’ll take me. I will be your wedding date. And by default, you will be mine” Eddie’s mouth dropped and Richie clinked his empty glass with Eddie’s full one.

______________________

In honor of IT: Chapter 2 coming out soon, I have begun writing this fake dating idea! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, comment here or on archive and let me know your thoughts and feels! The title is thanks to Slashpalooza on tumblr who asked me a million years ago to write something with this title!

Tag List (Starting a new tag list since I don’t know who is still around in the fandom. Let me know if you want to be tagged):

@sarah011 @pan-ini @frankeeenstein @sam-i-am2468 @eds-kas @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @roobarrtrashmouth @hypnoidvoid @imeddie @slashpalooza @reddieforlove

#reddie #fake dating au #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #welcome home losers club #benverly #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #the losers club #fanfiction #it fandom #cursing #gay #i am a loser #Why Can't This Be Love #shannon writes

2K notes · View notes

the-one-eighteen · 4 years

Note

Prompt: On his birthday, Eddie wakes up to smell food cooking. Christopher asked Buck to come over an help him make breakfast for Eddie and he goes out to see Buck and Chris standing at the stove, laughing and he feels so happy and realizes he's in love.

I am. So sorry for the delay on this! Life…happened. As I’m sure it’s happening for everyone right now. But! I hope this is okay! Thank you so much for sending this in, I had a lot of fun with it!

(read on ao3)

Eddie doesn’t know what woke him up.

There’s nothing immediately there to clue him in either, and if it weren’t for the suddenness with which he’d snapped his bleary eyes open, he’d be willing to put it off as just. The natural process of the morning.

He frowns at the wall slightly, listening carefully into the silent house for any kind of clue.

No, wait, not silent.

He hears the clang of cutlery hitting a pan, then a quick ‘shh shh’ that he could pick out of a crowd because Chris was still working on fine tuning his subtlety, followed by a deeper rumble of a muffled laugh that he could also pick out of a damn crowd, because Buck had never tried for subtlety in his life.

So, just Buck and Chris in the kitchen. Nothing urgent then.

Eddie can feel his body sliding back into sleepy looseness, his eyes already drooping closed again - it’s his day off and his kid is cared for, he wants to sleep in dammit - when a couple things click into place.

Well, less things more questions.

Like, one - and this one was really the biggest - what the hell was Buck doing here?

And two - the one that was actually the biggest and one he was resolutely ignoring - why was his immediate reaction to Buck being here all clear?

(And three - wow was he really trying to convince himself he didn’t know the answer to two? His denial ran deeper than he’d thought.)

(Except it really, really didn’t, because Eddie knew his crush on his best friend was pathetic on the best of days, and all-consuming on the worst. God, that one moment of peace - of feeling like everything was right with the world and everyone was where they should be (where he wanted them to be) was going to haunt his best dreams for the next few months, and he couldn’t even work up the energy to pretend to be mad about it.)

Eddie groaned, burying his face in his pillow for a long moment. It was his day off. He didn’t need something this confusing (this perfect) so early.

There’s another clang and another muffled laugh - including one from Chris this time, which, no matter the situation, would always make Eddie grin - and Eddie decides to face the inevitable. He takes long enough to grab a shirt, hauling it over his head and following it with a weak attempt at taming what he was sure was some pretty spectacular bedhead before slipping quietly out of his room.

There’s a pretty good chance Buck and Chris wouldn’t have noticed if he’d bolted out there yelling.

Without the door to muffle it, he can now hear the two of them giggling and whisper-shouting to each other almost constantly, and when Eddie peaks around the corner into the kitchen, he finds Buck bent over the stove, Chris sitting on the counter next to him, both of them intent on whatever it is Buck is doing.

Eddie leans in the doorway for a long moment, no longer feeling the sense of need to know that had driven him from bed. Chris is still in his pjs, his hair an impressive nest of curls, and the smile on his face could light up Eddie’s whole damn world. There’s also an impressive spot of...flour? On the tip of his nose and smeared across his cheek.

He can only see Buck’s back, but Chris’ smile somehow gets bigger and brighter each time Buck looks over at him. From his vantage point, Eddie also sees Buck flip out a pancake onto a slowly growing stack on the other side of the stove that he hadn’t noticed at first.

“We’re just about done, buddy. You wanna go get your dad? And remember,” Buck turns enough to face Chris, pressing his finger to his lips and giving Eddie a good look at his profile and the truly impressive smear of flour across his eyebrow that looks suspiciously like a handprint, “This is a surprise right? So, ‘happy birthday,’ loud as you can, then get his grumpy butt out here, right?”

‘Happy birthday’?

...Oh. Eddie had completely forgotten about that. But from the look of giddy determination on Chris’ face, he hadn’t. And he’d probably been the one to plan this whole thing - whatever this whole thing was.

And from the sounds of things, Buck was, if not an accomplice, then a completely willing participant.

It was the ass-crack of dawn, on his and Buck’s one day off that week. And here he was in Eddie’s kitchen, with Eddie’s kid, looking as giddy as could be about making Eddie a birthday breakfast, when Eddie hadn’t even remembered what day it was, let alone made any kind of big deal about it in the last week.

Eddie didn’t really know what to do with the butterflies currently lighting up his chest.

Buck nods seriously before breaking out in a grin to rival Chris’ before reaching over to help him down from the counter. “Go get ‘im, tiger.”

Which is about the time both of them notice Eddie leaning in the doorway.

The synchronized freeze and matching wide eyes was something Eddie would’ve given almost anything for a picture of.

And, now that he could actually look at both of them, it looked like their faces weren’t the only casualties of what had to have been an epic flour battle. He’s more impressed there’s none on the counter or floor, really.

“Good morning.” Eddie says, unable to resist.

Chris just about whirls around on Buck, Buck’s hand on his shoulder keeping him steady, one hand pointed up at him, accusatory and matter of fact, “I told you it was too loud.”

And Buck takes a moment, blinking between Eddie, then down at Chris, then back at Eddie before just shaking his head with a laugh, holding his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, you were right. I still don’t see why the plan won’t work. He’s just already dragged his grumpy butt out here.”

Chris ponders that for a moment before turning back to Eddie. A decision seems to be made a moment later, as he hurries over to Eddie in what could by all accounts be called a tackle-hug, yelling, “Happy birthday!”

And Eddie just melts, leaning down enough to scoop a now laughing Chris up and swinging him around with a kiss to his cheek, “Thank you, mijo,” he gets out through multiple more kisses that make Chris giggle and squirm in his arms.

Eddie feels like he’s damn near glowing by the time he looks over at Buck, who’s leaning against the counter, arms crossed loosely over his chest, just watching the two of them with this...this look that sparks the butterflies still taking up space where Eddie’s lungs are supposed to be. His smile is so damn soft, it’s mostly crinkling around his eyes, and he’s just...watching the two of them like he’s got nothing better to do at six in the morning on a Saturday. Like there’s nothing he wants to do, other than be right there.

“If it’s any consolation, this is still a pretty big surprise.” Eddie offers after a moment - throwing it into that awkward quiet between his laughter and Buck’s quiet smile that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.

“I asked Buck to help because Abuela said you’d probably forget again,” Chris pipes up, either oblivious to the way Eddie’s voice doesn’t fit in the suddenly full space between him and Buck, or all too aware and breaking it like the wonderful whirlwind he is.

“Oh, she did, did she?” Eddie asks, looking back to his son and feeling himself smile without much control from him. “Well...yeah, she was right.”

“Like she normally is.” Chris adds, the ever loyal grandson.

“Like she normally is,” Eddie agrees with a laugh as he presses another kiss into Chris’ curls. “Well, since it is my birthday, I’m voting breakfast and cartoons. Wanna go find some good ones for us?” The question’s barely out of his mouth before Chris is nodding eagerly, and Eddie can’t say no to that, so he sets him down and off Chris goes.

Eddie watches him go for a moment before looking back at Buck and...no, the smile’s still there, and Eddie can feel his heart skip. The butterflies are gone, leaving him instead with this want tugging somewhere just behind his heart. He’s pretty sure he couldn’t stop his feet if he wanted to, let’s the pull bring him up in front of Buck - watches Buck’s smile finally move, as his nose scrunches up and his head tilts to the side.

“You okay there Diaz?” Buck asks, and it could be teasing. Could be questioning, or curious, or insistent. But instead, it’s gentle. Coaxing Eddie back into his head, and encouraging the tugging at his core to ease up.

Eddie can’t really say what’s on his mind - he doesn’t have the words for the gulf he just stepped across in both the kitchen and in his own head.

‘Crush’ didn’t begin to cover what Eddie had for Buck. Couldn’t cover the sheer simplicity of it.

But Eddie...god, Eddie didn’t know if he could admit what he was slowly yet impossibly quickly realizing. So, instead? He reaches up a hand to brush away some of the flour still sticking to Buck’s temple.

And Buck pauses then, tilting his head into the touch without much thought it seems.

And there’s that small smile again - the one that crinkles his eyes and leaves an imprint in light and little else. “C’mon, birthday boy. Earth-shattering revelations are for after breakfast.” Eddie’s pretty sure Buck’s moving to get them to the living room, but he just can’t not, not after that confirmation - so he ducks in, stealing one sweet, butterfly laden kiss before pulling back again.

This time, Buck’s smile is in more than just his eyes.

It’s in his next kiss, too.

#blaineandsamevanderson #911 fox #Buddie #Eddie Diaz #Evan Buckley #Christopher Diaz #long post #ff #my writing

95 notes · View notes

tripleaxeldiaz · 4 years

Text

all was golden when the day met the night

chapter 3/5

read on ao3

start from the beginning

“...and then we saw the lions, but they were sleeping so they weren’t very scary. And the otters were so cute, and they came right up to the glass when they were swimming underwater!”

Eddie smiles as Chris recounts their day at the zoo to his parents over FaceTime. The monthly calls had been their idea, a way for them to stay up to date on Chris’s life in between holidays and summer visits. It was also their way of having a scheduled time to nitpick Eddie’s life from 800 miles away.

He loves his parents, he does. He just loves them more when they aren’t speaking.

“Your face looks a little red, sweetheart, were you wearing sunscreen today?” his mother asks, face getting too close to the camera as she inspects her grandson.

“Yeah, Dad put some on me when we got there.”

“Did he put on any more during the day?” Her eyes shifted to Eddie, perched next to Chris on the couch. “You know you need to reapply every two—”

“Yes, Mom, I did. And it’s getting late so we should really get going, say goodbye buddy—”

“Wait! I didn’t show them my snakes!” Chris rifles through his backpack underneath the coffee table, yanking out a folder and flipping through it until he finds the drawings he and Buck worked on. He holds them up triumphantly, angling them so his grandparents could see. “Buck helped me with them!”

“And Buck is…”

“Dad, you know who Buck is. My friend that owns the tattoo shop?” He tries not to ignore how calling Buck his “friend” feels like a disservice to all that he really is, how it tastes like sand in his mouth.

“He’s an awesome artist,” Chris pipes in. “He has huge books in the shop of all the stuff he can do, and sometimes he lets me watch when he’s working!”

His parents blanche at that, and Eddie is really not prepared to have this argument right now. He and Chris had a great day together, a rare day when he wasn’t in the shop for any reason, leaving it in Hen’s more than capable hands. They had a lot of fun at the zoo, were getting ready for a Marvel double feature in their living room, and Eddie was in an honest-to-god good mood, for once not plagued by lingering stress or ambiguous sadness. He’s not about to let any outside judgements ruin that.

“I think it’s time to go. Chris, can you say goodnight and go get your pajamas on?” Chris waves as he grabs his crutches and heads to his room. Eddie turns back to say a quick goodbye, but his dad clears his throat before he can speak.

“You leave your son alone in a tattoo parlor?”

“He’s not alone, Dad, he’s with Buck and all the other adults that work there. Plus it’s only in a pinch.”

“Eddie, do you really think those are the kind of people you should be leaving Christopher with?” his mother asks, a look of contempt masked by concern on her face.

Eddie takes a slow breath in and out through his nose. No use in giving them more ammo by getting angry. “Just because you don’t like their business doesn’t mean they’re bad people.”

“We just want to make sure Christopher is—”

“He’s fine. He’s happy when he’s learning to draw with Buck. I’m not going to take that away from him just because you don’t like it. Now we have to go, we’ll talk to you later.” He hits the red end button before they can protest any further. He tips his head back to rest on the couch and scrubs a hand over his face, his good mood now tinged with prickly frustration.

He thinks his parents mean well, but they’ve always been forceful when it comes to Chris, especially after Shannon left. It’s like they knew, somehow, how lost Eddie was on his own, how scared he was that every little thing he did was setting Chris up for failure, and took every opportunity to fix something he was doing or tell him he was wrong. That he didn’t actually know what Chris needed since he had been gone for so long.

Eventually, Eddie started believing them.

But when Mrs. Negrelli gave him the money to start his own shop, he didn’t just see it as a fresh start for himself, but for Chris too. Eddie would be able to take them anywhere, away from the looming disappointment of his parents, and give himself the opportunity to figure out how to best be the dad that Chris needed. And if the past year is any indication, he knows he made the right choice, a credit he isn’t usually able to give himself. He’s not perfect, still second guesses himself constantly, but Chris gets invited to birthday parties and sleepovers and gets As on his report card, so something must be working.

Chris comes back from his room, Spider-Man pajamas on, handing Eddie the remote to queue up the first movie. He’s happily chattering about all the cool things Spider-Man’s costume does in the movie, and as he settles into Eddies’s side, head resting on his chest, Eddie feels the prickliness subside, replaced by the contentment he only ever feels around his son.

They’re good here. Chris is happy here. That’s all that matters to Eddie.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sundays are Eddie’s favorite days in the shop — traffic is usually slow, so he has time to plan out orders for the rest of the week and make sure their inventory is in check. It’s a little monotonous, but it eats up about four hours of time and gives him a break from any real thinking, so he feels almost relaxed by the time he’s done stocking cases. He has the added bonus of Chris and Buck’s conversation in the back room as background noise, interspersed with the occasional yell and slap of the table and Buck teaches him a new card game. The melody of Chris’s laugh and the harmony of their voices soothes him even more than usual, quiets some of the lingering annoyance from his call with his parents.

As he heads into the back room to grab the last boxes of peonies, Chris beckons him over to the table where he and Buck have been stationed since breakfast. It’s become a bit of a tradition: Buck brings muffins or bagels from Bobby and Athena’s bakery on Sundays and hangs out until the afternoons when his earliest appointments are scheduled (I refuse to tattoo anyone while they’re hungover from Saturday, Eddie. It’s not good for them and the extra complaining is certainly not good for me.).

Maybe that’s another reason Sundays are his favorite days. Add that to the list of secret feelings involving Buck that are following him to the grave.

“Dad! Look, I colored Buck’s skull purple!” Chris says as Eddie comes behind his chair, bracketing him in with his arms on the table. Chris giggles as Eddie kisses the top of his head, leaning over him for a closer look. Buck’s latest tattoo is indeed a bright shade of purple, the roses surrounding it colored in blue.

“I told him I like cooler colors and he ran with it,” Buck says. Eddie’s eyes shift to Buck’s face, and he feels his heart stutter when he sees the soft, fond smile directed at Chris. It stutters again when Buck’s eyes meet his, that familiar warmth settling over him as Buck’s smile gets bigger, and he feels good enough, relaxed enough, that it actually soaks into his skin. Buck’s gaze flits down to Eddie’s arm where it’s still bracketing Chris, a crease appearing right between his eyebrows. The urge to lean over and kiss it away is unbelievably sudden and strong, and Eddie silently congratulates himself for keeping it together.

“Your ink looks a little faded there, Eds. I can fix it up for you, if you want.”

Eddie looks at the script on his arm, twisting it back and forth to see the whole thing. Buck’s right, the ink does look duller. Makes sense for a tattoo he got on his 18th birthday that he definitely didn’t take care of properly.

Fortalecer la mente y superar el cuerpo. Strengthen the mind and overcome the body. When he was young and invincible, that seemed like all he needed. A clear head, clear purpose, clear desires, and he’d be able to do anything he wanted. If he followed the rules and did everything right, he’d get a happy ending.

But, once again, it hadn’t been enough. And now, looking at that tattoo just reminds him of the ways he’s failed. How he hasn’t been able to make his mind into anything resembling strong, how there are days when he’s so weak even basic functions take too much effort. How a happy ending is feels so far away he can’t remember what one even looks like.

He shrugs, hand rubbing the tattoo unconsciously. “Maybe, I kinda just want to let this one fade out though. Maybe get a different one somewhere else.”

“Well, my offer of a free tattoo still stands, just name the day.” Buck says.

Chris gasps and twists around in his seat, eyes bright with excitement. “Can I help you pick it out? Can I draw it? I’m good at lots of stuff now, and Buck can help!”

And he’s not sure what it is — the smile on Chris’s face at the idea, Buck’s matching one, the lingering frustration with his parents transforming into rebellion (something he hasn’t felt since he last got a tattoo), or a combination of the three. But before he can think too hard about it, he hears himself saying:

“You know what? Why not. I’ll get another tattoo, and you guys can design it.”

They cheer and high five each other, Chris hugging Eddie tight around the middle.

“But,” Eddie says, “I do want final approval. And no cartoon characters.”

“I promise, Dad, it’ll be the best tattoo ever!” Chris grabs his nearby notebook and starts doodling, chattering happily about what he thinks will look good. Buck catches his eye again and winks, and Eddie’s returning smile is the easiest it’s ever been.

He grabs the boxes he came back for and goes to the front, still smiling as he hears Buck and Chris very seriously discuss the details of what Eddie should get. He’s not nervous, really, but he does say a silent prayer to whoever is listening that they don’t pick something too big or too bold. He loves them both, but not that much.

~~~~~~~~~~

They take about a week to design it and are so secretive they might as well be planning a jewel heist. It seems like every time Eddie walks into a room, they’re there with their heads pressed together, whispering over sheets of paper and pens. When Eddie tries to sneak a peek, they quickly hide everything away so he can’t see. Buck throws his whole body on the table at one point just to cover up the sketches.

Again, he’s not nervous. But the anticipation does start to get to him.

Finally, after a busy Saturday full of wedding deliveries, they announce that the design is complete, and Eddie is scheduled at Armageddon the following Friday evening. Chris already has a sleepover with Denny that night and won’t be able to come, but he makes Eddie double pinky promise to send pictures to Hen as soon as it’s done.

It’s Friday now, and Eddie is all set up at Buck’s station in the back of the shop, waiting to see the final product of Buck and Chris’s hard work. He is a little nervous now, but he mostly blames that on Buck, who keeps looking over the sketchpad, pen in hand like he wants to make last minute changes, or like something isn’t quite right.

“Just show me, Buck,” Eddie says after a few minutes of watching Buck bite his lip in worry. Whatever the design is, he’s sure he’ll love it, if for no other reason than because of the two people who made it.

“Okay, okay. You can be honest if you don’t like it, but I think you’re gonna like it.”

He flips the paper over, turning it towards Eddie. It’s a crescent of flowers, an unfinished wreath, featuring moonflowers, Eddie’s favorite, with their starburst centers spiraling open, and ox-eye daisies, which he knows Chris loves. Sprigs of lavender and thyme fill in the gaps, and there’s a small bee floating around the center. It’s beautiful and a little chaotic, but it’s perfect. Reminders of his son and peace and courage that he’ll be able to carry with him always, that he’ll be able to look at when he forgets that he is capable of bravery or deserving of peace. He stares at the sketch, taking in every detail, for who knows how long. Buck clears his throat to get his attention.

“Chris thought the daisies and moonflowers would look good together, and they’re both white so no need for color. I thought the herbs would be nicer than just plain leaves. And he wanted it in a ‘C’ shape, you know, for Christopher.”

Eddie laughs and shakes his head. “And the bee?”

“Chris thought that would be cute, too, but you can nix that if you want.” There’s a faint blush dusting Buck’s cheeks as his eyes track down to the bee in question. “So, what do you think? Any major changes? You can tell me if you hate it, I won’t tell Chris.”

He looks up and Buck’s eyes are excited and worried all at once. Eddie would do anything to take the worry away, but at least this time it’s an easy fix.

“I don’t hate it, it’s perfect,” he says, handing the sketch back to Buck and settling back in the chair. “Let’s do this.”

Buck smiles brightly as he grabs an antiseptic wipe, holding Eddie’s right arm steady as he wipes down the area just below his elbow crease where the tattoo will go. Eddie knew he wanted it there as soon as he’d agreed to get one — he’d be able to see it easily when he needed to, and he liked that it matched the placement of his current one, would almost be replacing it if the words ever fully faded away. Once it’s cleaned, Buck puts a temporary transfer of the design there to trace over, starts up the tattoo machine, and loads the ink. The low buzzing of the machine mixes with the music playing and soft conversation coming from other clients in the shop, washing over Eddie like white noise.

Buck takes his arm again, machine in hand, and locks his eyes on Eddie. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

“You can yell if it hurts too bad, just try not to pass out.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, says “It’ll be—” before cutting off with an involuntary hiss as the needle touches his skin. Buck snorts, and Eddie does his best to glare but feels it fall short.

He hadn’t worried about the pain — he vaguely remembered the sensation of being stabbed over and over again and didn’t remember it hurting that bad. He had also been shot before, so he figured he’d be able to handle it.

What he hadn’t taken into account was that for the next two hours or so, he and Buck would be very close together, close enough that Eddie can feel Buck’s breath on his arm as he traces over the outline, feels his strong hand on his wrist as he keeps Eddie from twitching. He had never been this close to Buck, had never allowed himself to be, and now that he is, he’s not sure how to act. He tries to look anywhere else, takes in the art on the wall, watches the other clients with Maddie and Chimney. He tries to make a to-do list for the weekend in his head, go over the things Chris will need for school next week, mentally figure out the designs for next week’s orders.

It’s all in vain, though, because no matter what, his eyes always drift back to Buck. From here, he can take in everything, and for once, he lets himself, because who knows when he’ll have this opportunity again.

Buck’s brow is furrowed in concentration, blue eyes dark as they focus. He can almost count every eyelash, and his birthmark stands out even more than usual, almost glowing under the fluorescent lights. Eddie itches to reach out and touch it, feel how soft he imagines Buck’s skin to be under his fingertips. His cheekbones and jawline are sharp and beautiful, and Eddie wonders again how anyone could resist them. How someone could look at this man, have even one conversation with him, and decide they didn’t want more. He’s biting his lip as he finishes the first moonflower, and it turns and even darker pink as he releases it. Eddie gets a little lost imagining how those lips would feel on his, how gentle and warm and good. He imagines feeling them on his shoulder as they wake up on a Saturday morning, sees them laughing as they both make breakfast, trading kisses as they go. He wants to taste them, feel them moving down his neck, down his chest, wrapping around his—

He inhales quickly and shakes his head, because this is not the time nor the place to go down that particular road. Thankfully, Buck’s still in his own little world, eyes never leaving Eddie’s arm. He must mistake Eddie’s movement for discomfort, because he moves his free hand down from his wrist until they’re holding hands, Buck’s thumb moving slowly back and forth in comfort.

“You can squeeze if it hurts too bad,” he mutters, still not looking up. Thank god too, because Eddie can feel his face go bright red and his heart start working overtime.

The first pass takes about an hour, and they take a break so Eddie can stretch his legs and Buck can get more ink. There’s still some detailing left to do, but Eddie already can’t stop staring at the tattoo. It looks even better than the sketch, and having a tribute to his son literally branded on his skin fills a fiercely paternal part of him like nothing else ever has. There’s also a smug part that’s still 17 years old and can’t wait to see the looks on his parents’ faces when they have their next video call.

Buck finishes getting set up again and Eddie settles back in the chair. It’s quieter now — they’re the only two on the floor, Maddie and Chimney having finished up and moved to the back room, and the music playing over the speakers is something slower, stripped down, seems to filter into the room and soften all the hard edges of the world. Buck catches his eye from where he’s sitting, asking silent permission to start. Eddie nods, and he feels his heart swell when Buck automatically grabs his hand again.

He’s got maybe 45 more minutes in this proximity to Buck, and he takes full advantage: notes the way his curls are starting to fall loose after a long day, tries to catalogue each shift of his face, every twitch of concentration, the shadow of his stubble growing in. Getting to study him like this — memorize the details of the beautiful face that houses an even more beautiful soul — makes all the feelings Eddie’s been trying to fight for months now bubble to the surface, fizzing inside of him like pop bubbles.

But there’s a chill that settles in as well, because despite his heart desperately pulling him towards this man, he reminds himself once again that he can’t have this. He can’t let himself have this, can’t do that to Buck. He’s supposed to be forgetting about his feelings, releasing them so they can both be happy — Buck with someone who deserves him and Eddie...alone. With Chris, but still. Alone. And now he has to wrestle with that while a slide show of Buck’s every facial feature plays through his head on a likely infinite loop.

He can’t forget as easily as he thought. If he’s honest, there’s a small, hopeful part of himself that doesn’t want to forget, that never wanted to forget, and it’s getting louder and harder to ignore with each passing minute.

“Done!” Buck says as he turns off the machine and wipes away the last of the excess ink. Eddie looks at the finished product, a soft smile settling on his lips. He looks up and sees Buck watching him, looking hopeful. “What do you think?”

Eddie’s finger hovers over a daisy reverently. “It’s beautiful,” he whispers, smile spreading as he meets Buck’s eye again. “Thank you, Buck.”

Buck returns the smile, squeezing Eddie’s hand where they’re still clasped together, neither of them moving to let go. They’re still in each other’s bubble, close enough that Eddie can still count Buck’s eyelashes, and he watches Buck watch him for a moment. His eyes roam his face like he too is cataloging Eddie from here, and that hopeful voice is convincing him that from where they’re sitting, it’d be so easy to lean in and confirm exactly what Buck tastes like, how his lips would feel under his own. Just six inches away from allowing himself to be happy, because he can’t imagine being anything else with Buck.

His phone goes off from his pocket, immediately bursting the bubble, both of them flinching as the loud trill fills the shop. They both know it’s Chris, but he still looks at Buck apologetically, like it’s his fault for shattering whatever atmosphere they’d just been living in. Buck just waves toward the phone, squeezing his hand one more time before letting go to clean up his station. He talks to Chris for a bit, showing him the tattoo from every angle, and Chris talks to Buck as well, gushing about what a great job Buck did. Buck blushes at the praise, and that tug of want pulls at Eddie again.

They hang up and Eddie gathers his things while listening to Buck’s strict aftercare instructions, both heading to the front door so Buck can lock up.

“Are you sure I can’t pay you?” Eddie asks.

“I told you it was on the house and I meant that. Plus it’s nice to work on someone I actually care about.”

Eddie feels his face get warm, hopes the neon lights in the window are bright enough to cover it up. It gets warmer as they continue looking at each other, neither willing to break their little bubble again. He thinks he sees Buck move more toward him, like he wants to get closer, but he stops himself before following through, leaning back on his heels instead, looking sheepish.

“Goodnight, Eddie. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, we’ll see you tomorrow.”

Eddie waves as he leaves, stepping into the cool night to walk back to the apartment. He keeps glancing down at his arm on the walk and while he’s getting ready for bed, thinking of the care Chris and Buck both put into creating it. That small voice in his head keeps nagging him, saying Buck wouldn’t do something like this, something this personal, for just anyone. He complains about his clients enough for Eddie to know that’s true.

Maybe the voice is on to something. As he falls asleep, Eddie lets himself think that maybe, maybe, on top of everything, on top of two years of friendship and flowers and looks that make Eddie’s insides flutter, maybe these feelings he’s been trying to ignore aren’t as one sided as he thought.

Maybe he has a chance.

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #9-1-1 #9-1-1 fox #buddie fic #9-1-1 fic #YES this is the longest chapter because i can't stfu about buck #WHATEVER

24 notes · View notes