#but deep down both of them know it's not true because he still prioritizes his own ambitions over them

[earlgodwin]

"There is no one closer—" Oh, don't lie to me, Father.

[zizz-asdf-re-r-o-u]

Headcanon time: Who might be on the aroace spectrum in a sex game?

I missed arospec week by... a few weeks lol. And hey look i'm making a Nukani headcanon post instead of a questionable theorizing analysis for once! If you have contributions for characters I don't have enough info on (especially Quincy), please add on!

Disclaimer: I'm aromantic but allosexual. For me, this means I experience sexual attraction, but not romantic attraction. In my local kink scene, I actually personally know several community members + friends who are asexual or aromantic or both, and some engage in sex while some don't. And lastly for demographic proof only, I'm in an unofficial discord server where some unspecified members are asexual, but they still play this porn game, so yes not everyone who plays this game are into romance or sex.

TLDR: someone can be asexual or aromantic or on the aroace spectrum and still have sex but that varies for everyone!

Now that that's out of the way, here are my headcanon times! None of this is true or ever will be true due to the marketing of a porn harem game, but I think it's fun to headcanon! Feel free to disagree cause I know how people reacted to that "Is Aster trans" reddit post.

Speaking of Aster. I think he's also aroacespec! In his SR room 5, we got text narration ONE time that he gushed or orgasmed or something with a vague hot rod behind Eiden's back. But we've never seen Aster naked nor involve his genitals with another body in the 5 H scenes we have with him. And unlike EVERY other character, he’s only described to have orgasmed once. He also constantly talks down on morvay’s sexual habits, and while it’s a running gag that’s played for laughs, isn’t it possible Aster actually thinks this way? But is still willing to engage in sexy times with Morvay because they're essence creatures so that's how you exchange essence, and they’re basically an old married couple & deep down they do care about each other. And remember what I said about aromantic or asexual people who still engage in kink or sex.

Next, Karu my beloved chew toy. At the time I wrote Garu/Karu analysis part 1, I thought both of them were firmly allosexual but also presented some evidence someone could use to argue Karu might be demi or aroace or something else. But the more I think about it, the more I think yeah, he might be. Or he’s just a tsundere. I swear I'm not delusional and am a logical canon-based theory fan. (Btw, according to google searching, it is possible for different alters to have different sexualities, so this does not apply to Garu).

Quincy- I have never watched a Quincy intimacy room (including his SR & R cards that I have unlocked) but my vibes based off all the other story content with him makes me think he might be in the umbrella, so Grey-ace, Demi, etc. From what I’ve heard other people say, Quincy has had a lover in the past but currently only has sex if Eiden begs for it. This might fit into the definition of people who don't really care for sex themselves, but is interested in it for their partner. If anyone has Quincy cards and has more information, please let me know!

Huey: ok so we have almost no information on him. But he didn’t have sex with his clan members. He was definitely not romantically invested in any of his clan members nor do I recall him having hints of being sexually or romantically invested in anyone else, which does not equate aromantic or asexual but its still possible. And that’s all I got. Anyone got additional input?

Eiden: ah our beloved Eiden. Let’s ignore that in meta, he’s supposed to be the audience self insert (even though he’s the least self insert type MC ever) and therefore he is not going to “prioritize” one ship over another.

Anyways, so I am 100% sure he’s not asexual. BUUUUT he has not expressed romantic lovey dovey attraction to his clan members. More significantly, he does not seem to pick up MULTIPLE clan members’ romantic hints towards him. Yes in Fateful Aegis, Eiden says “I love you too” back to Yakumo, but it’s prefaced with something like Your grandparents love you and I love you too-ish, which to me indicates found family love. Kuya has said the Chinese/Japanese equivalent of “I love you” (“the moon is bright/the moonlight is beautiful tonight”) and that totally went over Eiden’s head. Dante & Edmond are also intensely crushing on Eiden… but they’re tsunderes so it’s probably gonna take forever to get across. The other members are different types of dedicated but open relationships rather than traditionally romantic relationships (except for Rei, who’s still getting there). And I think this is a great thing! All these varying relationship styles that are given the same weight & importance & Eiden has such appreciation & care for all of them, despite not providing traditionally romantic affection back.

Aromantic people can still love their friends & family! We’re not heartless emotionless creatures. We just may not experience or be able to comprehend romantic attraction. And i don’t think that’s a defect nor a bad thing.* And I think it’s especially cool when we compare Eiden’s bad hookup habits in the real world with how he has multiple regular partners that truly value him and a new found family in Klein. If he was aromantic this whole time, it’s kind of a positive perspective, isn’t it? Some aromantic people do experience “squishes”, which is a term for when we feel emotional desire for a platonic relationship. Obviously none of Eiden’s relationships are truly platonic due to the sexual element, but they all lack the romantic element from Eiden’s side.

(Anyways, Eiden won’t ever “reciprocate” romantic love because it’s a harem game, but shhhhh. Also to anyone who says it’s an Asian game and the characters aren’t going to say “I love you”…. Well in their newest intimacy rooms, both Kuya and Yakumo literally just did. Heck one of Forest Night Kuya’s sprite dialogues repeats that!)

So yeah, I hope you enjoyed this pointless headcanons!

*Speaking from my personal experience, I’ve have several sexual partners over time, but I never had the desire to date them or be romantically invested in them. And a weirdly telltale sign, that Jaidenanimation pointed out quite nicely, is that when she listened to romance songs she was like “wait that’s what people experience when they’re in love???” I’ve read a TON of romance and have heard a TON of love songs, but I cannot relate to any one of them. I literally have not felt any of those feelings. And when I have sexual partners, the horniness is definitely the forefront compared to any “falling in love” feelings. I did have what I now realize were several “squishes” in high school/college. What squishes feel like to me, are like “I wanna be your friend & you’re really cool & I cherish you! Like a lot! And also I don’t mind if you fucked me!” which emotionally feels different from “I’m in love with you!!!” (Which yeah i still don’t know what “in love” feels like, and I’m fine with not knowing!).

[xotaemintol]

JONGTAE X BLACK FEM READER: “Persistence.”

“And I think we’re…in…too…deep…don’t wanna…pull out.”

Side note: Originally I was gonna make this a multiple part series because I really really liked the plot but, knowing me, I’ll probably only be able to get out one or two parts before I get frustrated and stuff, so for now, this is just really the set up, some smut. I really just wanted to put this out because I actually really like the idea and since I know I probably won’t be writing more for this, I don’t see a reason for it to collect dust, I really do want to write more for this, but for now, it’s just this. I hope you enjoy it despite it not being heavily detailed or not exactly perfect, the support is always greatly appreciated and so is the feedback🩷

TWS: Poly relationship, oral sex (fem receiving), fingering, and a bunch of kissing (not very detailed smut).

PRONOUNS USED: None (Fem reader)

Plot: After turning them down and ignoring their flirting, Jonghyun and Taemin persist after claiming to have fallen in love with you at first sight. After a long game of cat and mouse, they’ve finally gotten you where they want you, and see to it that they please you before you leave for a long business trip in America.

Persistent. They just wouldn't back down like all the others did, usually when you turned idols down they'd give it one more shot before throwing in the towel. But Jonghyun and Taemin just wouldn't give it up, every time you denied their offer for breakfast, they'd suggest brunch instead, you already ate? Then lunch instead? Not hungry? What about a movie? No? What about shopping instead at 3 o'clock? It seemed that for your every no or excuse you had, they had another option, while at first, it was slightly annoying being pestered by the two men despite your obvious disinterest, their flirting started growing on you quickly. Before you knew what was happening you were talking to them every day, even if you were at work, if they sent a text you’d stop in the middle of a sentence just to respond, so much so, that everyone in the office wondered who you could be talking to and bugged you about details on who the lucky guy was that managed to catch your attention.

Although you were assuring everyone that it was nothing and that you'd stop talking in days, you were cheesing at your phone with that love glow clear in your complexion. After no longer than seven months their flirting and consistency had broken you down, you just couldn't get enough of them and you couldn't get why. Unlike every other time you were in a relationship or situationship, you were missing out on company dinners and even prioritizing the amount of time you spent with them. When they first noticed they teased you about it as they recalled the way you rolled your eyes at their compliments and left them on read for hours at a time, all of it made you wonder why they were so relentless, so you asked.

“Why didn't you give up when I first turned you down anyway?” At first, they both seemed embarrassed to answer, but it quickly changed. “Would you give up if you fell in love at first sight?” You laughed at Jonghyun’s answer but stopped as you realized that he was serious. “Fell in love at first sight?” You asked yourself mentally, “How could he be so reckless?” You still couldn't help but smile though, you found it cute even if it wasn't exactly true. “Well, what about you Taemin?” you asked. Just as Jonghyun did Taemin hesitated and smiled at you shyly, his cheeks turning pink as he looked away from you and said: “You’d fall in love if you saw the way you looked at me too…” You could only sit baffled by their responses, “How can they both be so reckless?!” You sighed and smiled at them because even though you looked annoyed, you were actually swooning over the loving and wholesome looks in their eyes. “Well, that's very cute and super sweet,” You said as you crossed your legs under the table, “But no way is that why you both ignored me ignoring you.”

Their lack of response that day after you said that made it clear that they were serious, you couldn't deny it anymore after that. The two hopeless romantics had fallen in love at first sight and there was no getting away from them, no matter how much you pretended to be annoyed by them or their flirting. Especially since you were starting to fall so quickly for them both, while part of you fought with yourself for being interested in two men at once and for being so careless and ignoring your policy about dating idols, every other part was buzzing with joy with every text, call, and date. Things were going so perfectly too since they had never once tried to make a move on you, so you didn't feel like they were just two strange K-pop idols who wanted to try their luck with a black woman. But even after all the time you were spending together, neither of them had taken the next step and asked you to be their girlfriend, you didn’t want to be too upset about it but with an upcoming business trip that would last for six months, you wanted to leave on a high and come back to your two favorite boys smothering you even more than they usually would.

You had a month to prepare for the trip and you spent every day after work with them, every chance they got to make it official they seemed to miss or hesitate and you were starting to worry that they might never try making it official, so after work when Jonghyun picked you up you finally told him about the trip and decided to tell Taemin when you got to his house since you were already on your way there.

“Six months? How far are you going?” He asked, you sighed and leaned back against the leather seat with your legs crossed underneath the blanket he had thrown over you, “I'll be in America.” You said, for a quick second he glanced at you as he processed what you had said. His reaction was exactly what you were expecting, “Why didn't you tell us sooner?! What are we supposed to do while you're gone?!” The worry in his voice felt oddly warm, you weren't used to it, but it felt nice to see him get upset about it. After explaining that you'd be able to talk to them every day Jonghyun could only sigh and complain about missing you already. When you finally got to Taemin’s house Jonghyun immediately dropped his composure and told Taemin that you were trying to leave them. As Taemin walked around the counter with a shocked expression he asked the same thing that Jonghyun did; “Why didn't you tell us sooner?! What are we supposed to do while you're gone?!” Again, that panicked reaction made you smile, that strange warm feeling in your stomach as they both stood in front of you asking you a million and one questions made you secretly swoon.

“I guess we have no choice…” Jonghyun said, Taemin sighed and looked at him as if he were asking if he was sure or not, to which Jonghyun nodded with a disappointed expression on his face. “What is it?” You asked getting curious. Taemin said nothing and went into the living area, while Jonghyun stood in front of you and held your hands lovingly. “We wanted to wait till next month to do this because we weren't sure if it was too soon to ask or not.” Your hands began to sweat, the way he looked into your eyes made your knees feel weak and your heart started to pound. “Are they finally gonna ask?” You fought back a smile as you feigned an annoyed expression and raised your eyebrows, “What? You gonna ask if I'll finally say yes to going to breakfast with you?” You asked jokingly to soothe your anxious feelings, but Jonghyun’s gentle and nervous smile didn't help you fight the nerves at all, in fact, it only made it worse since he's usually so relaxed around you, this sudden 180 was making you anticipate even more what might they ask.

But nothing could've prepared you for when Taemin came back with a gift bag in your favorite color and a cute bear with a heart and card in the middle. How cheesy. You laughed as he handed them to you with an uneasy expression on his red face, “It's been some years since we've done something like this…so we didn't know how to do it,” Taemin said as he stood beside Jonghyun. You couldn't deny how cute it was that he was admitting that they hadn't dated in years, especially since you've been the way. That shyness only made them more charming in that moment. “It's hard for us both to ask at the same time,” Jonghyun said, “But, will you be our girlfriend?” Never in your entire life had such a wholesome question given you such intense butterflies, how could you say no? After denying your feelings for so long, you were finally giving in as you smiled and nodded your head and said; “Yes.” You could visibly see the relief wash over them as you did, they both sighed happily and laughed as you sat the bag and bear down on the kitchen counter. “What? Did you think I'd say no?”

After just a week of officially dating, you only had three days left to spend in South Korea before you had to leave for work. Luckily, you had those three days off so you planned to spend all of them with both of your loving and clingy boyfriends. The first day was spent with them taking you to different places you had declined to go to before, and the second was spent with you taking them to places you loved going alone, in those two days the three of you were sharing parts of yourself that had been hidden for years, the way you all seemed to fit so perfectly together made you fall deeper. As the day was ending on the second day they suggested that you stay out with them just a little longer, which you begrudgingly agreed to while knowing feel and well that you’d just end up at one of their houses, and you were right, at 7 o’clock you ended up sandwiched between them on Taemin’s sofa with both of them holding your hands as you watched a movie Jonghyun had picked.

For a while the moment was wholesome, but somehow, it turned when you felt a wandering hand slip out of your own and rest on top of your thigh. Of course, Jonghyun was the first to make a move, but you didn’t acknowledge it until you felt his fingertips inching further up your bare thigh. All it took was a glance that lasted just a second too long for the two of you to begin inching closer and closer until your lips finally met, for the first time, you understood why people liked kissing so much. The feeling of his soft lips against yours as you leaned back against Taemin gave you such a strong feeling of passion that you had never experienced before, he was slow and gentle, the way his tongue so softly slipped between your lips made your back arch as you moaned quietly into his mouth. The moment you had pulled away from Jonghyun to catch your breath, Taemin was pulling you in for a kiss as well. The way that his lips moved against yours said anxious, he kissed you as if he had been dying of thirst his entire life.

Taemin's soft lips were hot to the touch, and the feeling of his tongue against yours made you squeeze your thighs together as his hand slid up to your face to hold you closer. As Taemin did this you could feel Jonghyun positioning himself between your legs, the feeling made you jump and as you felt his warm lips on your soft skin you pulled away from Taemin and quickly stopped him with a nervous and breathless laugh, saying in a shaky voice; “It…It’s getting late…maybe I should go…before we get carried away…” As you said this they both smiled at you, as Jonghyun kissed the inside of your thigh Taemin kissed the side of your neck. Just feeling them on two different ends made you melt into the soft sofa as you bit your lip, you didn’t want to leave, but you felt so excited that you thought if they kept going you’d turn into a wild animal. “Don’t you think it’s too late for that?” Taemin whispered in your ear, chills shot down your spine as your back arches. “What’s the point in holding ourselves back when we only have you for a few more hours?” Jonghyun asked. The sound of his sweet voice made your whole body tingle with excitement, somehow, in the blink of an eye your clothes were scattered out on the floor and as Jonghyun’s tongue dove in between your delicate folds, Taemin kissed you until your lips were sore.

Your fingers tangled in Jonghyun's hair as you struggled to breathe with Taemin’s tongue in your mouth, it felt like you were floating, with every flick of their tongue, caress of their fingers, and short breath you were excelling higher and higher into pure bliss. It didn’t even take more than ten minutes for that earth-shattering climax to start creeping up on you, and they could tell by the way your body trembled, the sweat on your body made your brown skin glisten as you pulled away from Taemin and gasped for air. The way your voice became louder and higher in pitch was telling enough for them, neither of them wanted to stop until you had finally reached that peak, so to ensure that you’d get the sweet release you had so rightfully deserved, Jonghyun slipped two fingers inside of you carefully and let Taemin use his to massage circles on your clit.

“Oh god!” You cried out in pleasure as you threw your head back and closed your eyes tightly, nothing had ever felt so good, the pleasure was so great, and your body was starting to crumble as you moved your hips against their hands while struggling to keep up with their movements. “That’s it, baby, let it out.” The sound of Jonghyun’s honey-like voice only made you feel wetter, it made you need him more and the way that he angled them made that desire unbearable. “You’re such a pretty girl, are you gonna cum for us darling?” You nodded your head at Taemin’s question and looked at him, your eyes were glossed over as your face contorted with pleasure, just looking into his eyes made that feeling double inside of you. And as they both sped up you were falling apart at the seams, your excitement pooled onto the sofa and your body tensed up despite the relaxing and yet intense feeling of an orgasm washing over you.

“Oh, such a good girl.” Jonghyun praised, “You did such a good job baby, you came so fast.” You melted at his compliments as he pulled his fingers away slowly, still feeling aroused you pulled him closer and kissed him, tasting yourself on his lips made the experience feel so sensual, you knew then that you couldn’t just stop there. So as you pulled away and they got up to help you get cleaned up you stopped them, with both of them now standing you got on your knees in front of them both, still fully naked and dripping with lust as your eyes flickered between them both. Before they could say anything you asked asked in a tone so unbelievably beautiful; “Can we keep going?”

[oddberryshortcake]

Wrt Jamil. People also tend to ignore all the times he does help other students just because he knows he can help. Like sure it's not something he does just like that, he often thinks about it first, but he does help and he seldom demands anything in payment for it (other than peace and quiet lmao)

Like in the masquerade event, Deuce has a bunch of problems and Jamil helps him despite it being none of his business (Deuce's housewarden is on this trip too after all). Or teaching Floyd to do a headspin safely because he loves dancing THAT much. Or helping some Scarabia students study for their tests

Idk I feel like Jamil can be a very caring person deep down he just finds himself in a complicated position of having to be a caretaker by duty while also having to lead such a guarded life has made him too worried were he cannot just help people or be nice without thinking about the consequences it could have or what possible motives the person may have (bc the Scalding Sands seems to operate a lot on social currency and Kalim is well known for his wealth and giving-ness).

And can we talk about his plan? He went about it in a roundabout way cause he didn't wanna endanger his family, so he may dislike the life of servitude he has because of his parents but he still loves them and has come to better understand them as he grows (from his birthday voivelines and vignettes) and he clearly loves Najma a lot, so he made a plan that could safely gice him what he wanted. I mean he has magic and a ticket to a very far away island every year he could tun away if he eanted to but he choses to stay for his family's sake.

So it kinda feels sad to see people act like he's such a jerk when he does have a caring side that he shows when he doesn't feel obligated to nor taken advantage of (but his scheming is funny too Your Honor)

The part of him that helps others for the sake of his own peace and just acting out of second nature definitely came from his upbringing and current job.

Kalim doesn't know how to do some things by himself and Kalim will sometimes try to learn things through trial and error where Jamil, whose job is to keep Kalim safe and do things for him, absolutely loses it every single time.

Jamil's desire for control comes not out of wishing that he was in charge of his own life and he could live it how he wants, but to him, control is his way of ensuring that things run smoothly. Seeing Deuce fumble around and Floyd's head spinning triggers both that 'I need to show you how to do it right so I can calm down and you can be safe' with Floyd's being a lil side of 'I'm passionate about this and want to teach you the right way to do it'

He was not raised in an environment where he was prioritized. He and Kalim also lived dangerous childhoods. Neither of them were kept safe but Kalim's life definitely mattered more than Jamil's and Jamil knows that.

It's sad that he has to come up with schemes to even win a simple school competition without facing any backlash from his own family (his parents, not Najma, she's cool)

But he's still putting them first. 

With how Chapter 4 makes it seem, and with some other information from Scalding Sands event and the added context of Chapter 7.9 (which I won't spoil here in case you haven't read it), everything depends on Jamil. If he messes up, it's over for everyone. 

I can't tell if that's even true, if his parents are forcing him to be like this out of their own paranoia (which could be true, I have a feeling that maybe Jamil and his parents are similar in that way) or the Asims really did decide that Jamil is going to be the deciding factor whether the Vipers can keep their jobs and home or not. As much as Jamil resents the way his family raised him (though it seems to cope, he mostly blames Kalim) he can't bring himself to betray them, so he stays and makes these sacrifices. 

Until he had enough in chapter 4 

The plan was originally set in place both to get Kalim to leave on his own and have it be his decision (the dorm mates are mad at hypnotized Kalim's mistreatment, say they don't want him as housewarden anymore, Kalim being as nice as he is doesn't fight and to make amends he goes home and leaves Jamil alone for the rest of the school year) 

Because that way, Jamil and his family wouldn't be at fault. Jamil could be free for at least the school year and Jamil's family won't get in trouble. Except it doesn't work and Jamil's so sick of everything and caught in so many lies that he just says 'fuck it, my life is over, guess I'll go out with a bang' 

Keep in mind, if Azul really DID stream his confession to all of Twisted Wonderland, Jamil could've faced a really bad punishment back in Scalding Sands (We don't really know how punishment works over there, but if it's anything like Aladdin, yeah)

Sorry I ranted! Needless to say, Jamil has some genuine kindness in there. He wants his family to be safe even if he's the one constantly put in danger to do so, he still keeps Kalim safe (whether it be out of instinct or just genuinely not wanting him to die- which honestly I think is a mix of both, the plan was never to kill Kalim, just make him go home.) 

Kalim says it best when he's explaining why he's sticking with Jamil despite all the wrong he had done in the dorm. He could've done so much worse in all of the years he knew Kalim, but he never did. Kalim sees first hand every day everything Jamil does for him, it's why he though they were best friends. He sees how Jamil helps everyone in the dorm, and no one can deny that. 

He learned to lie and scheme his way into and out of situations because it's how he grew up. When your parent hits you for even suggesting you want to play a different game than what Kalim wants to play, you learn to lie to avoid that kind of punishment.  Is he wrong to think he's better than everyone else? Absolutely. He's prepared and cautious because he's trained to be, but when put next to people smarter than him like Leona, he doesn't know what to think. Kalim is a big part of his ego and self-worth, it's why those two are so damn codependent.

Is he a character that deserved to be cheered at for getting beat up by someone who is essentially his master? No, the whole point of that scene was they needed to fight out their feelings anime style in a way that their social positions never allowed them to. He was made into this person by his situation like all the other overblotters are. You definitely don't have to like them, but their past experiences are what made them into these villains emblematic of the Great Seven. Also it's not bad to like the over-blotters are characters lol or even think there's some kindness in there, they are literally still in highschool/college. 

[rocicrew]

I keep going back to Leviathan Falls and trying to figure out what it is that leaves me unsatisfied to a degree. Because at the end of the day, while I may have wanted something different for certain characters, I can make it make sense narratively. It's not a happy ending by any means, but it doesn't come out of nowhere for the characters.

It is important how the two abuse survivors are the last characters standing. It is certainly something how Naomi almost loses everything again, Holden, her home, Alex, etc. and while it hurts and grief will follow her, she doesn't regret it. It's a stark contrast to losing Filip and her home pre series. While both are losses that shake her and will haunt her, she comes out of not regretting opening herself to people and to love she avoided before, even if that meant opening herself up for this pain later on. She wouldn't change anything, and for the first time, instead of closing in on herself right after, she lets Amos near.

Alex's vice had always been family. He created and left three families. It's the same circle that keeps repeating. Talissa and Melas to fly and ultimately for the Roci. The Roci to make a new family, Giselle and Kit, and then failing them anyway to come back to the Roci. And ultimately, leaving the Roci again for Kit and Rohi and Bahari. To try and be the father and the grandfather he never was.

Amos might not have always done good. He certainly wasn't moral, but he was good deep down. He wanted to protect those who couldn't protect themselves, not always in the right way. He cared enough to follow people who were good, even if he didn't believe himself as one. He recognized he'd done bad in his life because those things hadn't been taught to him. But he didn't wanna do bad, or at least do bad for the wrong reason. At the end of the day, he cared to try to do right by others even if he couldn't always tell what that was and learned to lean on the people that loved him and he trusted to point him in the right direction. He's been given that role for well, forever, without knowing what to do with it, but he's certainly going to try with everything those he loved, too, taught him. Ultimately, for a man who outsourced all his decisions, he's now been turned on a role of guidance for having lived through so much history. It's, it's a Lot.

Holden, I disagree with. Not even necessarily that it comes down to his death or him sacrificing himself. It is a Holden thing to do. To act when no one else can or would act. But the circumstances it comes down to... He's always thrown himself into dangerous situations, but it's the first time it feels like he actually wants to die. It's without the hope that always drived his character. It's him having panic attack after panic attack until he dies. It's giving up, in a way that helps the system sure, but it doesn't stop it from him giving up. And it's so unlike him. Idk, I disagree with them breaking him so much that the only way he can see out of it is by giving into what born the majority of his trauma in his adult life. It makes sense for Holden to sacrifice himself. But not like this.

Anyway, I went off track with this. But what I wanted to conclude is that what drew me in the Expanse was a great deal, the characters sure, but also the world building and the prevalent politics in it. They weren't always dealt in the best way they could, but it still had something to say. What I'm going to is that I think they gave up on the politics in the end. It feels almost like they went too big with what they wanted to do and didn't know how to wrap it up.

It does follow things set up from the previous books. They begin something with Laconia, which is more of a commentary or at least is half build on how the Transport Union wasn't a true solution either. They kept playing by the same rules, although instead of the Inner planets and the Belt, it's the Sol system being prioritized over the colonies. What was said about Earth, as the birthplace of humanity, now can be applied to the entire system. It's the same thing over and over. Laconia gains some support from some colonies for promising to support them. The other motivator is fear. It's vaguely similar to the Free Navy, although Laconia is certainly no oppressed system. I feel like there were battles and back and form with Laconia’s government that focused more on authoritative and totalitarian regimes than the larger problem at play of why Laconia succeeded besides the technological advancements. Why it was allowed to thrive for so many years with no one checking etc.

The more I think of it, I expected some grander solution on that aspect. On the way, the universe can move forward, can build a new way, and a new system for all of this to work. A lot of time was spent on things that didn't matter as much ie. Tanaka, Kit without truly addressing the politics of it all beyond Laconia needs to be defeated. What about after, what about the next Laconia 30,40,50 years from now bc this isn't working. Instead, what we were given was this could've worked if only humans were better, and not only that, but they erased the scale, the expanse, that caused the problems as a solution. No more Sol system and colonies. The Rings are gone, everyone stay in your own bubbles. Humanity can't handle that scale. But that doesn't erase the problem either.

The same thing will happen on a planet, on a system, on a galaxy again as long as the same power system remains. The closing of the ring gates works on an alien level, but it fails on the geopolitical aspect. Humans suck sorry, they'll just repeat the same mistakes and exploit each other so we'll make the tribes smaller. It feels like we're back at the stars are better off without us and that feels lazy.

It's cynical in a story that wasn't overly cynical. And I think that was in the back of my mind bothering me about the ending without having the words for it until now.

[finwee-v]

Sighhhh I wish that a song would be on Spotify, but it’s on YouTube instead. It’s called Dark Waltz, PLEASE LISTEN TO IT 🙏

It harbors all my Harlebram thoughts from King’s pov.

It sounds so sweet, yet so sad. They’re playing, they’re laughing, they’re star gazing, they’re doing everything together. Now every is just so bittersweet because now it ended.

“I should be happy, but why am I crying?”

He can’t get over it, he wishes that it stayed the same, but that also means that he’ll never meet the sins. Would he be happier without Diane, or Meliodas? They pulled him out of a very dark spot, and Diane is his love, but deep down He’ll probably pick Helbram.

He picked Helbram over protecting the forest

He picked Helbram over his sister

He was gonna pick Helbram over saving Diane

It wasn’t until Helbram chose to sacrifice himself to the spirts to atone for his sins. A sin that King had to atone for him. King didn’t want to lose him still, even long when Helbram passed. He still holding on onto those memories. He can’t leave them behind. Until Helbram decided to go.

Because of this scene right here

Helbram decided to fulfill his promise

He stopped him from making a decision that he’ll suffer from. King is being JUST LIKE Helbram. King is so stubborn to let things go, he rather try to keep it despite him knowing what could’ve happen if he kept doing it. At this moment of time whenever king is hopeless. He wants to save Diane, but he’s injured. King was gonna suffer so much from if he made one of the most horrible decisions of his life. Until Helbram stops him.

Why?

Because Helbram expects it from a best friend.

King has done it, even if it hurts him. Helbram was never something he truly forgot even when he lost his memory. The first memory that he remembered was his promise. King is willing to suffer to fulfill his promise. He’ll do it time and time again because Helbram would be happier if he did.

Helbram did the same thing here. He chose to go because he knows that King would be happier. He knows that King will never forgive himself for letting Diane die. King still hasn’t forgiven himself for not protecting Elaine and the Forest. When Helbram does go, he’s crying.

“Be sure to make Diane happy”

That quote alone is why King said

Helbram knows that Diane makes King happy. In fact he used Diane as a reason for King to not stay in the Fairy Forest anymore to prioritize his safety. King acknowledged this in the panel.

I’ve seen people say that Helbram’s death was so unnecessary. Which isn’t really true except for one (which is his 3rd death). This scene gave King and Helbram growth. King doesn’t need have Helbram with him forever and the same goes for Helbram. King keeping Helbram would be a detriment to King’s character, and would be ignoring something he needs to learn.

It’s a especially important arc for King. When King learns how to let go. He’s able to work with people that he doesn’t like from the past. He’s willing to let go something if it can help others unlike before. Back when Hendrickson was asking him to train, King refused. He couldn’t let go of his feelings even when training with him would’ve been beneficial for the both of them. That’s character development, King has changed and learned.

It’s also a important arc for Helbram too. Helbram hadn’t truly atone for his sins. In fact you could say he was avoiding them until now. When Helbram slaughtered them, he didn’t cared at all. All he cared about was that their race had slaughtered his friends and people. He never even mentions the people he killed until now. He chose to give those people closure instead of staying with King. His DREAM. Helbram used to be selfish. In fact he encouraged King to be more selfish too, but at this scene he chose to be selfless. That too is character development.

That’s why the scene is there. It’s not unnecessary in the slightest. It was needed for King and was a good ending for Helbram’s character. Sure I love Harlebram/Kingbram, and I would like them to stay together longer. But it was needed for the both of them.

[imthebadguyyy]

Loved your first fic of Lewis!💛

Can you make one where Lewis Hamilton and Y/N have a fight and have been living separately and then Lewis comes to meet Y/N one evening and makes an excuse that his toothbrush is with Y/N? And then Lewis confronts Y/N that he knows Y/N still love him but won't admit?

..

* I know this is a very specific prompt. Bare with me. I just wanted more Angst/ Fluff with Longing for each other and Deep feelings and keep it Non-explicit. *

A/N - I'm so glad you liked the fic 😊

We're Meant To Be

Pairing - Lewis Hamilton x Reader (female)

Fandom - F1

Summary - After a messy fight, you don't know where your relationship stands. But when love is that strong, an argument can't stand in the way.

Warnings - Angst, fighting, swearing

Angered shouts. Tears of frustration. White noise. Desperate pleads. And then silence. That's what your neighbours would describe if they were asked to describe what they had heard from your house. An argument that seemed to have started over nothing, had blown up into a full scale fight. When had it become this bad? Only yesterday, you two had had a date night at home, with movies and wine. Everything was perfect. But then, suddenly everything seemed to go down a downward spiral.

Your relationship with your boyfriend had always been calm, it had been the type of love where you just loved each other with all your hearts, where fights were an incredibly rare appearance. You were both working, and he was away at races most of the time, so usually, you didn't waste time fighting, something that was an unnecessary waste of time in your opinion. But then, something had just switched for a second. It was after the race in Baku, and it hadn't gone well. Lewis had been heartbroken, after coming P15, and had heavily berated himself for it. To make him feel better, you had taken a couple of days off work. to just be with him and give him company to feel better.

It had been on the third day of you spending time with him that he had made an offhand comment that had struck a nerve with you. "I wish you could be there at race weekends more often. It's like you don't care enough about the races" The comment had pissed you off, to put it lightly. "What do you mean, I don't care about the races? I watch all of them Lewis, I'm always supporting you" you had practically seethed at him. "Don't get all huffy, darling, all I'm saying is that the other girlfriends and wives come quite often, but you only come to like three races a year" he had said, already regretting his words. "Maybe that's because I have a job?! I work for my living, and I love my job. I don't have time to fly around the world to accompany you to your races, and its damn hard to get leave off of work anyway, I was lucky to even get a week off of work, and you want me to be there every weekend? It's not possible for a working person, Lewis" you had said, anger bubbling in your voice, pulling away from him to sit up straight. "I know, I just meant-" "No, I know what you meant. I'm sorry I can't always be there, and don't you think I feel bad when I can't be there for you ?" "I know you do, I shouldn't have brought this up. But can you come for the next race?" He had asked, not looking at your eyes, regretting the answer. "I... can't. I have a really big meeting coming up and-" "And you can't come I get it"

And he had just left. You had felt your heart shatter, hating yourself for being so harsh with him. But it was true, you were a very hardworking person, and you had worked damn hard to get to where you were, successful at your job, one of the best in your field. It took years of hard work and perseverance and you were proud of it. But a part of you also knew that Lewis didn't deserve any of the crap you had given him, and you also knew that he was right, the other guys had their partners to support them during various race weekends, and you only showed up to one or two of them. He was well in his rights to tell you that. And you hated how it had ended.

You all alone, in your house, in a cold and empty bed, in a quiet house with silence that was much, much more deafening than words ever could be. It was heartbreaking, to see a future you had dreamed of just shattering in front of your eyes, dreams of having a family of your own with him fluttering away like wisps of smoke, the burning flames leaving only a heartbroken mess of a human being behind. Was that what it felt like? To be burned and left to turn to ashes, when a person that knew exactly how to ignite your flame just left you to burn away? To have someone who could ignite your all consuming passion, and turn you to putty in his hands, who could mould you back into shape, leave you to melt into a liquid through his fingers to just lay on the ground, a sad, broken, person.

And here you were, lying on your bed, the sheets that had warmed the both of you on cold nights, or been home to your pleasure laced activities now offering only some of the warmth it used to, cold and unforgiving, as you turned your pillow for the fifteenth time, neither side cool anymore. Even the pillow didn't want to forgive you, the sweat settling in on your neck again, beads of sweat running down your forehead again. The pulled curtains shielded you from the over bright sunshine, your damp hair sticking to your shoulders and neck. Your eyes, red rimmed and tired, shut to protect them from the faint light in the room, the tiredness not permitting you to even open them to look in the dim light of your room.

Somewhere near you, your phone buzzed again, for what felt like the hundredth time in three days. It had been three days, three long, painful days since you and Lewis had fought and not seen each other, and those 72 hours had ripped a part of your soul out. You had spent those three days in bed, your leave days still saving you from getting out of bed and dragging your body to office. Was your relationship over? Were you never going to meet the love of your life, the man you were destined to be with again? Sighing, you rolled over, pushing the damp strands of hair away from your face. Using strength you didn't know you had, you pulled yourself up, feeling your head spin.

Slowly, you made yourself walk into the kitchen, grabbing a piece of bread and popping it into the toaster. Then you splashed some water on your tired face, shuffling over to the bathroom to brush your teeth. After finishing your toast, you peeled off the sweaty shirt you had pulled on when he had left, realising with a pang that it was Lewis's nightshirt you were wearing, a purple one he loved. Dropping it into the laundry basket, you turned on the shower, stepping under the warm shower. The warm spray untangled the knots in your matted hair, as you soaped your body and hair, fresh tears rolling down your cheeks as memories of your showers together with Lewis came flooding back, as heartbroken sobs wracked your form again.

An hour after the not so great shower, you found yourself in another shirt belonging to Lewis, the bed in fresh sheets and covers, your pillow finally cool on both sides. You were clean and refreshed, albeit heartbroken, waiting on your takeout Chinese food and ice cream. Just as you lay there, scrolling through your Netflix account to watch some episode of FRIENDS to help you keep your spirits up, the doorbell rang. The thought of flavourful Chinese food and ice cream was enough to lure you out of your bed again, bare feet padding across the wooden floor to go to the door. You grabbed your wallet, opening the door, to find not your dinner, but Lewis, at the door, in one of your favourite sweatshirts on him. Did the clothes make you feel better? No. In fact, it just shattered your heart further.

"What are you doing here?" was the predictable line that left your lips. "I um, I left my toothbrush at your place. Can I have it back?"

"I beg your pardon? You left your toothbrush? You came back for a toothbrush, but not for me? Is that all I mean to you?!" you said, anger and a hint of sadness creeping into your tone. "You do mean a lot to me" he replied in a sigh. "Look, I didn't actually leave my toothbrush. That was a lie, and wow, I'm just realising how stupid that sounded, I'm sorry" His words were met with silence. The sadness in your eyes said it all. You were upset. Of course you were. "I don't have any toothbrushes except mine, so please leave" Before you could shut the door in his face, he pushed it back open, stepping into the house on his own.

"No do not come in here, please just get out!"

"No" was his frustrating reply. "What do you mean no? I said get out of my house!" "Not until we stop fighting and talk about what the hell happened!" Lewis yelled back, matching your tone. "Why the hell do you care?!" "Because I still love you damn it, I always have, and this stupid fight cannot, and should not break us apart!"

Your burst into tears. Sliding down against the wall, you buried your face in your hands, the sweatshirt arms covering your face as you sobbed. In an instant, Lewis was walking across to you, strong muscled arms wrapping around your shaking frame. "I'm sorry" you managed to blubber out, "I thought it over, and I don't go to support as often as I feel I should, and I'm sorry"

"No my darling, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all that to you. You work so hard baby, and I'm so proud of you. And I know that you try to come whenever you can, and I love you so much for that. I'm sorry, and I never shouldv'e asked you to prioritize my passion over yours" rubbing your shoulders softly, he let his chin rest on top of yours. Sniffling, you let your head rest on his shoulder. The soft hiccups that left your lips broke his heart even further, something he hadn't thought possible.

The last 3 days had been pure hell for him. He had missed you, God, he had missed you. He had missed having you in his bed in the morning, tracing patterns on your bare skin. He had missed leaving kisses on your soft cheeks and hands and on your cute nose, missed smiling against your skin as you giggled. He had missed you playing with Roscoe, the doggo following the both of you around the house. Even Roscoe had missed you, sniffing around the house for your familiar smell, cocking his ears up and looking at his dad questioningly.

He had missed your perfume, the scent filling his senses, intoxicating him in the best way possible. He missed you curling up to him, playing with his hair or tracing his tattoos, leaving little kisses around the compass tattoo, tracing his 'Still I Rise' tattoo, missing the goosebumps that would rise on his skin when you traced Michelangelo's Pieta on his skin, and kissed the family and faith tattoos on his sternum. He missed you everywhere, and it had taken three days for him to realize that your presence grounded him. Your presence was something he needed, not to survive, he had done that before, he needed you for his happiness.

And having you in his arms, crying over what he had said? It shattered his heart. And he wanted to just fix everything, to bring everything back to normal. Stroking your hair softly, he kept his lips pressed to your ear, whispering soft "I love you's" and "I'm so sorry baby's" and "I'm here for you's" into your ear, feeling his heart lighten ever so softly when your sniffles decreased and your grip on yourself relaxed.

Moving up to meet his eyes, you moved so you were at eye level with him. "So we're both idiots who are sorry?" You murmured, running your hand up to his collarbone. With a soft laugh, he nodded taking your hand into his, rubbing his thumb over yours. "Fighting sucks" he mumbled pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "It really does" your replied, moving so you were straddling his waist. "Let's never do that again, and let's just make a schedule. We can figure out when you can come and visit me, and I'll just deal with the fact that my ethereal girlfriend won't grace the race tracks every race weekend-" "It all sounds lovely but all I want right now is your lips on mine" you interrupted, bringing a smirk to his lips.

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to yours, hand moving to maneuver your head closer to his, your hands moving up to cup his cheek, as your traced his jawline, his thumb running over your waist. Breaking apart softly, he let his forehead rest on yours. "I love you" he whispered softly. "I love you too" you mumbled back. Before he could lean back in, the doorbell rang again.

"Damn it. That's my chinese food and ice cream" you sighed, smiling when he laughed. "Was it that bad?" He asked, letting you get up to open the door. "Like you wouldn't believe it"

After getting the food and paying for it, you set two plates on the table and put enough on your plates. "You know what the worst part was about fighting?" "What was?" "Not waking up to you tracing my tattoos" "Aww that's what you missed?" You giggled, walking up to kiss the tattoos on his hands. "I really did. You're cute and adorable and you're all mine. That's why I don't wanna fight. Let's keep it that way" "I love you so much" "I love you too"

***

A/N - I'm so, so sorry I took so long to write this, I really suck at angst, and I hope this is what you wanted, the last thing I want to do is give you subpar work 😭😭

Anyways, have a great day 💙

[lunyzare]

Headcanons for madara with a s/o ? Like relationship headcanons ? What type of person would he be attracted to ? That kinda stuff ...

Hello there, anon, thank you for the ask! 💜

What type of person would he be attracted to?

I think I'll answer this one first, because I feel like knowing what kind of person he would find attractive is important for answering your first two questions.

I've seen several debates on what kind of person Madara would like. I've seen people who say he would have loved someone strong and imposing and I've seen people who like the idea of a submissive s/o. I both agree and disagree with both of these opinions (but please, no hate towards people who believe in either of these headcanons).

As we saw, Madara certainly values power, and therefore it's easy and quite logical to assume he would enjoy a strong and not easily scared s/o. Especially, if we look at the times he was born in, strength and power seemed like the only thing that could guarantee survival. People in Warring States Period (WSP) had to be strong to survive, and this would go for Madara's s/o as well.

So, looking at it from this point of view, I believe it's true Madara's s/o would have to be quite strong and perhaps in some ways dominant.

On the other hand, I believe Madara might have found liking even in someone quiet, someone who looks very kind and gentle from the very first glance. There is strength in silence, kindness, and gentleness too.

Overall, I would say Madara would be attracted to someone who supplements him, who inspires him, someone who challenges him to become better. Someone with whom he can move forward, someone who will support him, believe in him, believe in his plans, someone who will be the heart of his goals. His s/o would also have to be at least a little persistent, I think, because I headcanon that Madara is very private individual who doesn't let people close easily.

Appearance-wise, I don't think Madara would have special demands or expectations for his s/o, I feel like to him appearance doesn't matter as much as personality does. If, however, we're taking the time he lived in into consideration, I would say he would prefer someone with a slim figure, not someone corpulent – as again, that lowers chances of survival for both for him and his s/o. (Please, I don't have anything against people with corpulent body type, I'm simply theorizing based on what we know about WSP.)

Headcanons for madara with a s/o ? Like relationship headcanons ?

Madara would be devoted to his s/o, he would love them through good and bad. I imagine that for Madara it would be important that both he and his s/o would equally be working on making their relationship successful and long-lasting.

He would show his love for his s/o not through words, but actions; by protecting them, being there for them, allowing them to see his "weaknesses", to see deep down into his "gut". And he would expect the same level of honesty and trust from them.

If his s/o would be a shinobi, he would enjoy sparring and training with them, if they wouldn't be shinobi, he might still train them at least basic ways of protecting themselves.

I would also imagine, Madara would love to share his hobbies with his s/o, so perhaps he would teach them falconry.

I also think that with his s/o, Madara would be able to show his softer side, he would show his kindness, understanding, and undying love.

From the fanfictions I found of his character, he seems to be described as a very possessive person. In a way, he might be "possessive" of his s/o – many people feel jealousy because of their lovers for example, so why wouldn't Madara, but I firmly believe he would never force his s/o into anything and would always prioritize their well-being above his own and would have respected their choices. If Madara settles down with someone, it's because he trusts them, and therefore I think he wouldn't be going around beating up other people just because they dared to glance at his s/o. Like I said above, I think he would truly, genuinely love his s/o

Lastly, to me, Madara seems like a character who hates being stagnant and who wants to grow as a person (at least before he lost Izuna), so I imagine he would share his dreams and his goals with his s/o. He would plan for a future and he would want to work together with his s/o to achieve the future they envisioned.

So...these are my headcanons, anon! I hope my answer satisfied you because I certainly enjoyed writing this! Thank you again for your ask!

[jschllatt]

𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 | 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦

Prompt: (Based off of the song I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys) Clay’s recent fame leads to a difficult decision to be made. Months later, he’s still regretful. You seem to be fine, so why can’t he move on, too? 

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, slight angst

Pairing: Dream x GN!Reader

Words: 2.5k

Masterlist

I spent a week on this and idk how I feel about it but I hope you enjoy <3

Clay had been consumed by an overwhelming emptiness, his entire body hollow as the lack of your presence took its toll. 

Two months. Two devastating months had passed since he’d made a grave mistake, and now he was facing the agonous repercussions. He was a mess—anyone could see it. Between his long, disheveled hair, the light scruff that covered his face, and his bloodshot eyes, it was clear that Clay’s mind had been somewhere else. And it had been. Every passing second was a constant reminder of his solitude, causing the emptiness in his heart to evolve into a deep, incessant void, no longer inhabited by the happiness you had ingrained in him just months before. Why? Clay was overcome with a sense of deep regret as a result of your absence, feeling more alone than he ever had before. What could have possibly happened to make him feel this way? To make you leave? The answer was rather simple—he was just too damn busy. 

Clay had dedicated a considerable amount of time to his career, filming or streaming during the little free time he had. As he grew more popular, the time that you had spent in each other’s presence dwindled significantly, each day becoming lonelier than the last. Your interactions with him had shortened drastically—what were once long, lingering kisses placed on your forehead had devolved into chaste pecks, void of any true care or meaning. While you understood entirely that Clay’s career was important, you found yourself slowly losing hope.

You realized it one day as he was filming. 

It was a day no different from the last. Clay was recording a Manhunt video in his office, his voice shrill as he begged his friends for mercy. He was always loud when he filmed, and though you had chastised him for it countless times, he never listened. A loud sigh escaped your lips, going unheard, and you shifted your position on the couch, uncomfortable. Everyday seemed to be the same—each as lonely and frustrating as the last. Clay’s ignorance only fueled your apathy towards your relationship more, and you couldn’t help but find yourself growing hopeless at the thought of Clay being unaware of your unhappiness. Your troubled thoughts continued until a week had passed—a long, grueling week in which you had hopelessly tried to burrow your apathetic thoughts. But you couldn’t. You were giving up. The realization of your unhappiness made a pit grow in your stomach. You knew that you cared about Clay, but you couldn’t keep living the way you were—tired, unacknowledged, pitiful. 

And so, you let him go.

Clay was editing by the time you gathered the courage to face him, your stomach nauseous as you approached his office door. A light knock signaled your presence, and Clay muttered a quiet ‘come in,’ his voice raspy after hours of unuse. Blowing out a breath, you entered the room, your expression sullen upon noticing Clay’s inattentiveness. His eyes were still glued to his monitor, deeply focused on editing rather than your presence. You waited for a few seconds, silently hoping he would pay you any mind, but he didn’t. A wave of disappointment washed over you, though you managed to keep your voice steady as you declared, “We should break up.” Clay tensed in his seat, suddenly fixated on your words rather than the hours worth of footage he was editing. His chair turned with a quiet squeak as he swiveled around to face you. “What?” You sensed the subtle indignation of his tone as he squinted confusedly at your abrupt words. “We should break up.” You were much quieter this time, unable to meet his eyes as your words died silently in the tense air. You wrung your hands together anxiously as you leaned back on your heels, feeling awkward under Clay’s intense gaze. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe you should’ve just stayed quiet and dealt with it. Maybe—

“Okay.” 

Immediately, your eyes flickered up to meet his, filled with a silent desperation as you searched his emerald irises for any indication of his intentions. Nothing. 

“Okay?”

Clay remained silent for a moment, his body stiff as he leaned back in his noisy chair. His expression was inscrutable as he stared at you blankly, trying to find the right words to say as he watched your face remain solemn at his confound brevity. His voice was level as he spoke, “I know I’ve been busy lately. We haven’t spent a lot of time together and that’s my fault. I could sit here and promise to change, but we both know I can’t—not right now.” Though you felt your heart shatter, you knew he was right. His job was too important, too time consuming.

A nod signaled your understanding and you turned to leave, feeling overwhelmingly dejected. 

“Hey.” You turned around to meet Clay’s eyes, noticing the hurt that was settled in them. “I hope you know I care about you.” You fought the urge to cry and shot him a watery smile, struggling to keep your tone unwavering as you agreed, “Me too.”

Two months had passed. 

Clay had been struggling. Everyone knew it—his friends, family, even his fans. It was clear that the once cheerful, happy man had become melancholy, suddenly depressed and unable to hide his unhappiness on camera. There had been numerous speculations of why this was, but only few knew the truth. Sapnap was among one of them and had been staying at Clay’s for the past month, creating content with his best friend while simultaneously making sure he was okay. Though two months had passed, Clay was still a mess. Perhaps it was because it hadn’t hit him that day. He had momentarily convinced himself that his career was more important than you, but deep down he knew that wasn’t true. He wanted so desperately to reach out to you, but assumed you had moved on—another incorrect belief of his. Clay cooped himself up in his home, never leaving unless it was urgent. He had sunken into a deep depression and the only remedy for his pain was you. You. He treated you so poorly. Everyday was a constant reminder of your absence and it was his fault. He could’ve made more time for you, or at least spent the free time he had with you. 

Remorseful thoughts ran through his head everyday, nearly driving himself crazy, and Sapnap knew he needed to get Clay out of the house. 

“There’s a party tonight, I think we should go.” Clay immediately denied the offer with a shake of his head, grumbling to himself. His best friend sighed indignantly, blowing out a breath of frustration before stating, “You don’t have a choice, you need to get out of the house.” Sapnap stood his ground, arms crossed as he stared at Clay sternly. A minute had passed and Clay, aware of his best friend’s stubbornness, gave in begrudgingly, “Fine, but only for an hour.” Sapnap grinned triumphantly, exiting the room with a smirk. He slammed the door behind him, heading back to his room while yelling, “And shave, for fuck sake.” Clay shook his head, cracking a small smile at his friend’s words.

The party was overwhelming to say the least. Bodies swarmed the crowded living room, reeking of alcohol and sweat. Music blared from a speaker, a shrill, nearly deafening melody that was sure to give Clay a headache by the end of the night. The room was buzzing with conversation, every word drowning out in the loud atmosphere. Almost immediately, Clay was passed a beer, and he lifted the bottle to his lips to take a swig. If Sapnap was going to make him stay here, he may as well take some edge off while doing so. A few minutes had passed and he finished the bottle, discarding it in a bin nearby. “I’m gonna go get another drink.” Clay muttered to Sapnap, who was talking loudly to a group of people he’d recognized. His best friend patted his back in response, chuckling as he gave him a playful shove towards the kitchen. Stumbling through the drunken crowd, Clay soon broke free as he neared his destination. He grabbed a beer, opening it skillfully off of the edge of a table, and turned around wordlessly. Taking a big sip, he hoped to free his mind from thoughts of you. Though he wasn’t one to drink, especially when upset, Clay knew that, aside from you, alcohol was the only other solution to temporarily mask his pain. He’d already drank half before he warned himself to slow down, knowing that if he got too drunk, he’d probably do something he regretted. Turning around so he could rejoin Sapnap, Clay nearly dropped his drink on the floor, feeling his heart drop. 

His eyes met yours. And then, he heard the music. 

I wanna be your vacuum cleaner

Breathin’ in your dust.

Clay felt his breath hitch in his throat, noticing the surprise in your eyes as you stared at him, astonished. As he stood there, staring at you shamelessly, he regretted it—everything. He regretted how he neglected you, ignored you, prioritized all of the wrong things when the only right thing in his life was right in front of him: you. Memories flashed before his eyes, quick and familiar, yet saddening all the same. The way you smiled at him from across the room when he was filming, the way you held him when he was stressed, the way you spoke to him, softly, while he was streaming to check up on him. Everything.

I wanna be your Ford Cortina

I will never rust

You looked away, suddenly nervous, though the eye contact was all-too-familiar. You felt your heart begin to race as you processed every detail of Clay’s face—from his anxious expression to the dark circles beneath his eyes. He looked like a mess. But so did you. You mirrored most of his tired, dejected qualities because you, too, were hurting. 

If you like your coffee hot

Let me be your coffee pot

Snapping you out of your daze, you felt a tug on your arm. “Hey, you alright?” Your friend asked worriedly. Nodding briskly, you muttered a quiet ‘yeah’ and smiled in a poor attempt to sound convincing. Seconds passed, and you could still feel the intensity of Clay’s burning gaze as your friend tugged you through the crowd, handing you a drink in the process. You dared to look up, instantly locking eyes with Clay, and swallowed thickly. You knew you couldn’t avoid him forever, not when he was looking at you like that—desperate, longing. 

You call the shots, babe

I just wanna be yours

Lifting up the red solo cup to your lips, you downed its contents quickly, eliciting a few laughs and impressed hollers from your friends. You were never the type to drink, but you felt that it was necessary, especially when you knew Clay was still staring at you intently. Downing another shot, you risked glancing up towards Clay, but he was gone. Suddenly anxious as a result of his absence, you surveyed the room. Nothing. “I’m gonna go get a drink.” You said before you could stop yourself, not giving your friends the chance to answer you before you ventured into the kitchen. You tried to dodge the swaying, drunken bodies as you made your way quickly into the room, frowning upon entry. Clay wasn’t there either. You sighed, frustrated, and grabbed a beer, struggling to open it. You nearly laughed at your incompetence, feeling sadly nostalgic despite the humor you found in your struggles—Clay had always opened your beers, then teased you for being incapable. You fought back an onslaught of tears at the memory and sighed deeply, leaning against the table with your head in your hands. 

Secrets I have held in my heart.

“Hey.” Your body jolted at the sound of his voice. Daring to turn around, you felt your chest constrict at the sight of him clutching your now-opened beer, a sad smile plastered on his tired features. 

Are harder to hide than I thought. 

“Hey.” You breathed. Clay passed the beer to your shaking hand, trying to ignore the way his fingers brushed against yours. Chewing on the inside of his cheek nervously as he tried to find the right words to say, Clay admitted, “I’m sorry.” A few quiet moments passed, though they felt like an eternity, and you replied simply,  “Don’t be.” You tried to hide the tremor that shook your arm as you took another swig of your beer, noticing how Clay’s face fell in sudden disappointment. What? Did you say the wrong thing? You didn’t want Clay to feel guilty, to blame himself for your failed relationship though it was mostly his fault. Why? Because you cared about him. You could immediately sense the despair that washed over him. And, though you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol coursing through your veins or the pure adrenaline from the moment, you hugged him. 

Maybe I just wanna be yours

I wanna be yours

I wanna be yours

Clay tensed at your touch, wondering if the beer had gotten to him or if this really was happening. It was. He soon wrapped his arms around your waist, grip purposeful as he tugged you into him. Your head rested against his chest, the steady thumping of his heartbeat in your ear far more of a melodic sound compared to any music you’d ever listened to.

Wanna be yours

Clay swayed the two of you softly, resting his chin atop your head. You clung to him tightly, shutting your eyes as he held you, gentle. “I missed you so much.” You admitted before your mind could even process it. Clay chuckled, lowering his head so his lips were close to your ear, “I missed you more, baby.” You tried to fight the grin that plastered itself on your face as you took in his words, squeezing his torso with such force you were sure he’d explode. Clay went to speak again, caressing your sides so gently you could barely feel it, before being interrupted. 

“Holy shit, there you are, dumbass!” 

Sapnap. 

Clay pulled away from you to glare at his best friend, trying to ignore the shit eating grin on Sapnap’s face as he glanced at you. “My bad, I didn’t mean to interrupt...whatever the hell I just interrupted. I just wanted to make sure you were alright, but you clearly are.” Before either of you could respond, he left, shooting his friend a thumbs up before disappearing into the crowd. You couldn’t help but laugh at the interaction, noticing the slight rosiness Clay’s cheeks had suddenly sported, embarrassed. “Sorry about that, he…” Clay struggled to find the perfect word to describe his best friend, but trailed off. “Yeah.” You agreed, seemingly understanding what he meant despite his silence. Clay laughed, then. The sound was music to your ears, and when his smile faded, the two of you were serious again. Clay’s hand found refuge in yours as he began to speak, his face solemn as he confessed, “I lied. I can change. I will right now if you want me to—I’d do anything for you.” 

Wanna be yours

You smiled lovingly at the man, interlocking the fingers of his hand that wasn’t already occupied in yours, and pulled him closer to you, wanting him near. 

Wanna be yours

“Deal.”

[cinnamonest]

which yan do you think would react the best and worst at a darling who just tries to make themselves smaller? like in the sense of they’re kind of listless and tend to either give simple answers to their yan or none at all. just tends to avoid doing anything out of fear of getting punished.

Oof that's a good question I like this one

Three best, I'm gonna say Zhongli, Diluc, and Venti

Three who would be pretty bad, probably Xiao, Xingqiu, and, hear me out, Bennett.

It's also worth discussing Scara and Razor here bc they're kinda unique cases, also a Childe/Kaeya bc their reaction would be more or less the same

====================

The thing with Zhongli is he has supreme patience and knows that these things take time, you know? So like, it doesn't bother him too much at first. What's a year when you've liked like, thousands of them? So while with most yans you run into the issue of impatience, that's not an issue with him, especially if there's a way to make darling immortal. He won't force anything, he won't push you to do things you're uncomfortable with. He'll just isolate you. If you want to be away from him, well, that's fine, you can enjoy being completely an entirely alone. Eventually, you will give in, and you will realize that your silent streak and cowering only makes you more miserable, and when that day comes, you'll come running to him. Diluc would have some issues, but the good thing about him is that he's sorta good at giving space and he's very good with silence. He wouldn't solve the problem, but he'd kinda... effectively avoid it, because he's a man of few words, and he's ok with you not having many words either. He can just kinda live silently, and be ok with that, he might not even realize there's a problem because he himself is so used to being reclusive and quiet. Cowering is a different issue. Even though he's one of the better ones overall, he is still the worst out of these three, because although he would make an attempt to deal with it gently and patiently, his patience will eventually run out, and he'd get more irritated and force physical interaction. Venti would work things out to the best of his ability. He tries to even hide his hurt for a while because he doesn't want you to feel bad, tries to keep a smile on and make the best of things, but it does wear him down eventually. But he really tries hard in the beginning to act like it doesn't even bother him, like he doesn't notice, his logic is that maybe if he keeps a smile and acts like it's all fine, then you will come around. Of course, as time goes on, it falters, and he becomes a lot more depressed about it all. Now the three worst. The thing with Xiao is that he doesn't know how to handle it, which, to be fair, is true of him for a lot of situations. He's easily frustrated and doesn't know how to go about anything in a gentle, normal way - his world is one in which physical violence solves all of his problems and he doesn't know any other way of making people do what he wants. He likes his darling talking -- he can take some nice silent times, but unlike Diluc, he can't handle it all the time. He gets frustrated and well, he resorts to that one thing he knows -- violence. And it works, so it's just positive reinforcement when you respond.

Xingqiu's just... kinda a brat. A lot of mature yanderes prioritize what makes the relationship between them and darling better, they think about the long run, or the more selfish manipulative ones work towards what works out in their best interests in the long run, which often means sacrificing or doing things they don't enjoy in the here and now. Xingqiu, however, has a strong immature streak, his focus is on getting what he wants and getting it now without a lot of thought about the bigger picture. So while he's not one to physically hurt his darling too much, he's willing to do a lot more in terms of being difficult to deal with because he doesn't really consider that he's just making the problem worse long-term, his focus is on what he wants in the moment.

Now, Bennett probably seems like an odd choice because he's a mild yandere, but he can be, without even realizing it, so manipulative with pity and guilt that he'll more or less force you into a state where you either are forced to talk to him more, or live with feeling like a monster. He's one that never really lets you out of his presence, and is a master of pity-fishing. So that guilt and pressure is constant -- the sad puppy eyes, the soft hurt voice, and especially the self-deprecating comments and apologizing. In the end he kinda unintentionally psychologically forces you into talking to him and being with him because otherwise you literally cannot escape the emotional, psychological pressure of it. Being talkative and accepting him is better than dealing with the emotions. And to be fair, he'd probably choose a darling that he knows is sensitive to that sort of thing, and will take pity on him like he wants.

Unique cases. Razor is a mix because he can tolerate wordlessness better than anyone, after all, he spends most of his life not using words. Once you actually come to the point of living with him, he too resorts back to his natural state and stops using words as much, communicating with a lot of grunts and gestures. But if you won't communicate at all? Razor's problem is similar to Xiao -- most of his problems can be solved by killing it or maiming it. His mind is fairly simple. He gets almost conditioned to it, begins to become habitual and so he just asks a question while holding your arm or hand -- not in affection, but a subtle threat. He's got his usual thing going on where it's not malicious, not mean-spirited, like most would be, he just kinda... does what works.

Scaramouche is... temperamental. See, sometimes he's fine with it. He gets a powerful feeling from other people's fear. So really? The cowering is fine by him. ... Well, he says it is, but deep down it does bother him a bit, not that he'll ever let himself dwell on it or let it show. The communication is a different issue. Especially if he's talking to you, he expects a response back, and will bark at you to be louder because talking quietly is insulting to him. Of course, he'd get mad at you for talking too loudly too, but, well, you get the idea. That's the issue -- for a timid darling, you just never really find respite because he likes having something to get mad over, really, he likes having an excuse to punish you so he'll intentionally find problems in your behavior no matter how you behave.

Childe and Kaeya both would be really, really bad, because that would be like, the worst thing for both of them and drives them up the wall, they’re both talkative people and feeling ignored is a blow to their pride. So both would get physical about forcing you to talk back to them, although Childe is notably more patient and will do things like starve you or isolate you until you’re willing to talk, whereas Kaeya, as a less patient person, would be more about physical pain right then and there. Both will condition you to talking to them pretty quickly out of fear of consequence. Childe likes to smother you with physical affection, so cowering isn’t going to do you much good, he’ll just pick you up and hold you no matter how much you squirm. Kaeya less so, but he still suffocates you with his presence all the time.

[faemytho]

Red Velvet Cookie x Licorice Cookie with Misc/Hurt/Comfort prompt #6?

decided to go a bit different direction w this one!! i used both sentences bc they fit uwu. hope yall enjoy ♥️

Fandom: Cookie Run

Ship: Licorice/Red Velvet

Word Count: 1164

(Support me on Ko-Fi!)

"I just can't believe you would still want to be around me after everything I did!"

The outburst shocked Red Velvet into silence. Licorice stood across the forest clearing from him, overly large scythe in hand, an angered, anguished look on his face. But the necromancer said nothing more, his face twisting up, and he turned his back to the Crimson General.

"Is it really so wrong if I still like you?"

Licorice didn't dare lift his head, though the words struck deep into his dough. He refused to think that Red Velvet actually liked him in any capacity. In no universe would such a thing ever occur, despite the other saying so right to him. It had to be a lie. It had to be. A trick, to lower his guard.

He wouldn't make it that easy.

"Yes," he snapped in response, "it is 'so wrong'. I betrayed Dark Enchantress Cookie's cause, I betrayed her, and by doing so I betrayed every other cookie who follows her. Why on Earthbread would you still want to be around me?"

"Because you very clearly had some reason to do what you did," Red Velvet answered flatly. Licorice flinched at that, the other cookie having struck the truth.

"As far as you're concerned, I'm a traitor, and you should be dragging me back to face judgement before Dark Enchantress Cookie."

"And as far as you're concerned?" Red Velvet snarled. "What about that? What about you?"

"Who gives half a baking sheet about me?!"

The world around them fell silent. Even the blueberry birds, which had been singing in the trees of the forest they were in, were quiet. Not even the wind blew, and no leaves rustled in its care.

Licorice's throat felt raw and tight, his eyes warm and horribly prickly. He took a deep, shuddering breath, and stared intently at the tree in front of him. He refused to look back at Red Velvet.

"Either take me back to her or don't. I'm not going to choose for you."

A hand rested on his shoulder, and Licorice stiffened.

"What makes you think I'm going to take you back to her without hearing you out?"

"Why would you?" he asked, his voice trembling despite himself. He couldn't bring himself to look at Red Velvet.

"Why wouldn't I? You're not stupid, Licorice. You had some reasoning to do what you did, and I want to know it. What did you see that I did not?"

"Don't talk like that," Licorice whispered, his knuckles clenched bone white where he held the scythe. "Don't talk like you're empathizing with me. Don't make me hope. It's cruel."

Gentle cake claws brushed against his chin, and they turned his head to face Red Velvet. The other cookie looked firm, sparkling, fierce fury in his eyes.

"I have more honor than that, Licorice." Red Velvet rolled his eyes, before fixing his gaze on Licorice's face. "I am not here to deceive you with Witch's lies. It is true I was tasked to find you and bring you back, but I cared less for that than I did the chance to see you again."

Licorice took in a deep, shuddering breath, glancing down at Red Velvet with the pale yellow eye unobscured by his hair. "Why?"

At this, Red Velvet seemed to hesitate, his gaze flickering off to the side for a moment. "Well," he started, before clearing his throat and speaking again, "the army, it... doesn't quite feel the same without you."

Licorice paused, blinking down at Red Velvet. Slowly, he lifted a hand of his own, finding Red Velvet's cake wrist and moving the cake arm away from his face.

"And that's the only reason you prioritized wanting to see me over dragging me back to Dark Enchantress right away?" he asked flatly, taking a step back from Red Velvet. When the Crimson General said nothing, Licorice scoffed in disbelief. "I don't believe you. You need to learn how to lie better, Red Velvet, it might save-"

"It's because I love you."

The confession knocked all the breath from his chest, and he took another step back, staring with shocked, wide eyes. Red Velvet stared back at him, not a single trace of deceit in his gaze.

"Licorice! Where are you?"

The reedy, high voice of Gingerbrave cut through the trees, accompanied by the calls of Strawberry's soft mezzo and Wizard's haughty tenor. At their calls, Licorice flinched.

"Ovenfire, I've been out here too long," he cursed, moving to go find the leaders of the Brave Kingdom. He hesitated, looking back at Red Velvet and narrowing his eyes. "If that was the best lie you could come up with to convince me to go back with you, then you really need to work on your lying."

With that, he turned and left Red Velvet alone in the clearing.

-

"That disgusting traitor," Dark Enchantress seethed, claws curling into the dark roll cake wood of the round table. "After everything, Licorice has decided to betray our cause to liberate Earthbread from the tyranny and magic of the Witches. May he burn in their fires for his treachery!"

The round table was silent. Pomegranate, for once, had nothing to say, in fear of exacerbating their master's anger. Dark Choco kept his eyes down. Poison Mushroom had pulled their cap down over their eyes. Red Velvet kept his eyes on the table.

Dark Enchantress sighed to herself, slowly straightening up and tapping her cheek with a claw. "No," she said softly. "Witch's Fire is too good of a punishment for him. And he is a liability in the hands of our enemies, whom he has undoubtedly run to. That naïve fool Gingerbrave would take him in without a second thought."

"What are you suggesting, my dark queen?" Pomegranate asked in drawling silver velvet tones of adoration. Dark Enchantress chuckled.

"One of you will track Licorice down, and you will bring him back before me. I care not what it takes, nor who goes, but I want him alive."

"I shall go." Before the words fully registered, they slipped from his mouth, and all the eyes of the round table turned to Red Velvet. His heart aflutter in his chest, he hardened his gaze and stood, meeting Dark Enchantress' stare head on. "I will do whatever it takes to find him."

Memories of Licorice flashed before his eyes. A stupid sounding laugh, accompanied by a snort, and then by an embarrassed flush. A sneer beholden by contemptuous eyes, cheeks darkened ever so slightly. The teasing, shit eating grin as Licorice poked fun at him. The longing looks Licorice hadn't noticed Red Velvet catching.

"Very well." Dark Enchantress sounded pleased. "Do not return empty handed. See to it that you do not disappoint me, Red Velvet."

He gave his former master a nod, turning and marching out of the meeting hall.

He would find Licorice. But he would not be bringing him back to Dark Enchantress.

[ellitx]

Chapter 13: Fidelity

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

previous || next

art belongs to _suucrose

word count: 2.9k

           In sun and clouds, the church spire reached into that every stretching blue. It was as if it spoke of the love of the community towards their god, that it too lasted in any weather and called on them to join and put their faith in him.

           When Aether and Paimon walked along the nave, the church choir was different compared to the other choirs that didn’t sing hymns. Their voice was almost like angels, high notes soaring over the clouds, graceful notes dancing on the staves, and they sang for the Anemo Archon only.

           The two waited to finish their practice before looking for a certain deaconess that might help them gather more information they needed. It wasn’t long before Barbara noticed them and approached the two with a welcoming smile.

           “Hello, Honorary Knight. What brings you here today?” 

           Paimon flew over her and leaned closer for a much better closeness to ask. 

           “We would like to ask you something about Barbatos!” She exclaimed fervently whilst she placed her small arms in front of her chest. A bright smile was then donned on the deaconess’s face, her blue eyes sparkling in delight at her words.

           “Oh! Are you two perhaps interested in serving Mondstadt’s very own Anemo archon as well?” Her tone had an obvious enthusiasm in it. Aether already felt bad that’s not what they were here for, and be that as it may, he still has to prioritize in searching for his lost sibling.

           “That’s not the case. We wanted to ask if by any chance the Anemo archon has a lover.”

           Barbara’s small pink lips parted trying to utter a single word however a short chuckle was what came from her mouth. It surprised them and was confused if they said something odd. Her delicate hands were now placed on her mouth to stifle her laughs, apologizing in between them, as small tears form from the corner of her eyes.

           “Sorry for suddenly laughing. I wasn’t expecting that’ll be your question. But to answer that, there are no stories or mentions if Barbatos had a lover or not in the past. If he did, it would’ve already been written in the books and be sung by the bards everywhere. You celebrated the Windblume Festival, right?" 

        The two gestured their heads as a yes. "Since you already know it's a festival about love and freedom, wouldn't the Windblume Festival be celebrated for both of them instead of Barbatos only? But just as I have said before, there were no tales about the God of Freedom having a lover.”

           Something clicked inside his head though it didn’t last for long as it suddenly fades away like a speckle of dust. 

           “That’s true…” He turned to look at Paimon who was all troubled and disturbed.

           He continued to listen further if there’ll be more clues but it seems like that’s the only information he’ll get for now. His companion looked at him then held her aching head to alleviate the small ringing echoing in her ears.

           “Paimon’s running out of brain juice and my head is hurting the more Paimon thinks about this…” The throbbing in her head told her it was time to rest someplace quiet, to ride out the pile of confusion within her brain.

           Aether nodded and massaged his forehead in hopes to ease the pain. Why does he suddenly feel so lightheaded? He shook his head and pushed himself forward to carry out his plan on giving the pendant back to you. Words of gratitude were what Barbara received from the blonde and she waved them a goodbye to continue her choir practice with the other members of the Favonius Church.

           “Are we going back to the lair?” Paimon asked. Aether hummed in affirmation as they stepped outside of the parish. The harsh sunlight caused him to squint his eyes and cover his face with his arm. Was it always this hot for this season? The sudden change of the climate made him so lightheaded than ever. 

           Paimon detected how pale he looks as if he’d been painted with white-wash— even his lips were barely there. It was as if his heart had suddenly stopped beating and all the blood had run down into his boots. He swayed just for a moment, then with one step backward, he crumpled like a puppet suddenly released of their strings.

—

  Birds trill, sweetly high, the chorus as playful as the birds themselves. With closed eyes, Venti imagined their music to color, painting stairs in the same way grapevines grow - this way and that, in a beautiful harmony that isn't quite random. 

           Along with your soft humming, it made the ambiance much more relaxing and calm for him. In the calm of the day, his heartbeat is the steady drum to your melody and he seeps into the moment, allowing himself to drown in your beautiful voice.

           You rubbed the petals of the red flower between your fingers, watching your skin take on the sunny hue. Venti had spent the entire afternoon lying down on your lap and listening to your canorous tunes that made him forget about everything— as if you two were the only ones in this world with no one to intervene in such a peaceful moment he has with you.

           You watched the petal rotate and awed in admiration as a flower’s petal is able to spin like wind wheels. 

           “Hey, Venti,” You called out to him and peered down to peek at his sleeping face. Your lover hummed in drowsiness before opening one of his eyes to look at you. Dragging the flower close to him, he shifted to get a proper look at what you’re holding.

           “What flower is this?”

           You’ve always been a curious one. Even before you were in a coma. It’s like you have a passion in you to know every single thing about this world. From small creatures to rare species of beings in the wildlife, anything that catches your interest and you're eager to know more about it.

           Your drive to find answers is one of your unique traits he’s grown to love the more he’s with you. You create yourself in that fire of ongoing need that focuses everything that you are. And you do it because it feels as if the finding of the answer is your personal mission, your reason for being, your way of belonging and giving.

           It came to him if your curiosity will cross the line. Will it come to you that he’s been hiding his identity from you? Or will you still continue to live life with him in pure denseness? Either way, if you managed to find out he’ll find a way to have you forget what you witness. 

           For now, he has to be cautious and prevent you from exploring the outside world. Especially if that traveler is around in his land. It’s no good if you meet him. With the help of the humming winds to let him know what’s happening, it occurred to him that he has to just patiently wait and prevent you and Aether from crossing paths.

           Venti held your soft hands in his palms and took the flower from you. A small and gentle smile appeared on his face as he leaned forward and pressed his temple against yours, placing the plant close to your chest.

           “It’s Windwheel Asters.” He answered and observed how your eyes sparkled in joy when you watched the petals continue to spin.

           “I haven’t seen these before.” 

           Venti lightly chuckled and placed the flower between your hands as he returned to resting himself against you, but this time his head was now on your shoulder. “Windwheel Asters cannot grow in places with no wind nor plagued by strong storms, only where the wind is gentle and nourishing.” 

           “Really?” You laid your head against his and fiddled with the stem. If these floras are really unable to grow in harsh winds, then it means Old Mondstadt’s storms have truly vanished without any traces left. 

           Peace and harmony at last. 

           Freedom is finally with you.

           You lifted your hand up against the sunlight and marvel at how simple it is. It may not look as fancy as the cecilias nor does it resemble feathered wings of a dandelion when blown away, but you found yourself liking this more than what Venti had given you.

           It’s not like you don’t appreciate his efforts for collecting every cecilias and dandelions in this region to create a wonderful garden for your eyes to fancy with, you still are grateful for it though you do wonder why did he not include these asters in the collection?

           “I kind of like this. It reminds me of you.”

           Now that made him fully awake.

           “Me?”

           The color-infused cheeks dimpled with the blossoming smile, your eyes shone in a way that only deep happiness can bring. It was the blush of roses, that peek of champagne pink. Nodding your head to him, you brought the flower close to your face to cover your flushing features.

           “You were always fighting for freedom. If it weren’t for you, we won’t be able to see the skies and birds you’ve always wished for. I really admire your perseverance and passion to fight against my father to have the city liberated from his hands. Thank you. Thank you for revolting against him. Thank you for giving everyone freedom they’ve longed for.”

           You suddenly felt your throat tightened and your breath hitching every now and then. With your shoulders shaking and chin trembling, you fear he might see you in such a vulnerable state. You lowered your head even more and let your hair cover your face. Even if you hide it from him, Venti can still see small drops of liquid falling from you until it turns into a small puddle on the back of your hand.

           “[Name]…?”

           “Even though I’m Decarabian’s daughter, you never looked or treated me differently. Even after the war has ended, you never leave me. And now father, mother, and the knight… they’re all gone and y-you survived. You still stayed with me until I woke up…  I… I was so scared that once I awoke, I won’t be able to see you.”

           You were wiping your cheeks every few seconds and gulping down the lump sitting on your throat. Sniffling quietly, the tears still threatened to spill from your eyes. Your lover gently clutched your hand and used his other hand to lift your chin up to look at him.

           Your eyes were red and swollen. It shatters his heart seeing you like this as your tears split over and flowed down your face like a river escaping a dam. Using his finger to dry your damp face, he brushed his lips on your temple and laced your fingers together.

           “I should be the one thanking you.” He muttered and brought your intertwined fingers up to his lips to kiss the back of your hand. “Without your support, I don’t know how things would end up. If he— if I hadn’t saved you back then, you’d be locked up in that tower. Things would go differently, wouldn’t they? I can’t bring myself the idea of leaving you there when they were chasing after you.”

           He pushed you until your back was leaning against the rough trunk of the tree. His other arm was propped beside your face before he rested his head on your shoulder and nuzzled closely.

           “Thank you. Thank you for always being here with me.” Even though his voice was muffled, you can hear him loud and clear through your teary state. A shaky smile came from you as you caressed his hair lovingly before leaning forward and wrapping your arms around him.

           “I love you. I love you so much, Venti.”

           He has lived long enough to know that what you share he can’t replicate it with another. This love, this feeling, is just you and him. He could travel the world and the seven regions to create new ballads; he’d still come right back at you if he wanted true love. 

           He has protected you for years, he’s your confidant, a true friend, and even a lover. The trust he gave you, you gave him, is what keeps both of you safe in this world, in this life. So whether his heart beats another day or another hundred years— it’s always yours.

           Meeting Venti was more of a coincidence than a fate. Yet it was the first time in your life you felt like you could be yourself around him. Memories of meeting him have become the same as the dream you play time and time again. You felt good with him in a way you haven’t been before or since.

           Hearing those three eternal words from you is surreal for him. His heart would beat madly and his stomach churn in such a way excitement and happiness is filling his entire system. He wants to hear from you again.

           Just once more so he can finally have you all to himself.

           His chest was burning hot and so was his heart that rapidly beats in great euphoria. He can sense your emotions when you cry but this feeling… it’s much more different than he had felt before. A burning desire. He’s so smitten of your entire existence. All words coming from you were all his, he grasps each phrase and corresponds with his own loving and affectionate words.

           He was brought out from his trance when he felt how warm his palm is, and it’s when he became aware his hand was now placed on your cheek just like how he brings your hand to cup his face. 

           Venti felt his face heat up at such a simple gesture and when you give a short and quick chaste kiss on his lips, he recognized the first brightest and sweet smile for this day was painted on your graceful visage.

           “I love you.”

           His wish was heard when you repeated your confession at him. Is it finally working? Were his efforts finally paid off? Before Ludi Harpastum was the Windblume, a festival where they offer windblumes to their loved ones and to the Anemo Archon. Every year, every time Mondstadt celebrates Windblume, his first priority is to give you cecilias.

           He collected them for you every year. He tends them very well until they bloom— until your eyes opened. For him, windblumes are the cecilias. A symbol of elegance, purity, and just as ethereal as your gentle heart. It may be different from what that really means as interpreted by the people of Mond, but for Venti, he feels freedom when he’s with you, he feels loved when he’s with you and it’s the reason why he gathered so many flowers for you while you were asleep.

           The arrangement given to him by the former Dendro Archon— she proposed the idea to him to gather flowers for you every time they feast Windblume. He can still clearly remember her words, her voice echoing in his head saying that even she may part from this world. 

           Her predictions for her own life were accurate. As if she already expected this to happen to her and that’s why she’s planning ahead to list all the preconditions to him to keep you safe and harmless. Barbatos can’t keep relying on her on everything and that is why he put a lot of effort into maintaining the garden.

           Yesterday night was the time of the ceremony. Venti prepped everything to make it perfect, he wanted it to be successful. A mimic of a dance he once saw when he and you were together ages ago, it was a secret you both hid but he knows this. Barbatos knows what happened during that time and pretended as if he weren't there.

           But now that he was able to dance it with you, one would call him shameless for stealing you from him. The heavy weight on his shoulder was now lifted away, finally free from the guilt he’s been feeling for centuries. His inner battle with himself is fully resolved, inner conflicts vanished, a conflict between his love and longing for you.

           Your words eased Venti and made him assured you love him back as well. If you haven’t said a single word about your own feelings, he’d be living in an illusory fantasy that you were only shy to tell him you love him very much. But ever since the bond has been created, all he hears is I love you’s from you for his ears to delight in.

           “I love you,”

           You repeated once, a faint brush of your lips against his made him shudder. Soft, gentle, and shy just like your personality. Twice when you parted away, grasping how he tastes like apples before meekly leaning on him once more for a kiss but with more vigor. Your hand clutched the front of his shirt when you felt him hold you the small of your waist to pull you against him.

           “I love you.”

           Thrice was words of tenderness and desire from you to him. At that moment, you felt your body flushed warm. This was a person you wanted to be with than you’d ever felt before. 

           Venti has always been the one you could love forever.

@trust-the-oxygen​

[nanaminokanojo]

Play the Game | Nanami Kento X You | Part 8/8 [COMPLETED]

CHARACTERS: Nanami Kento X You (fem!reader | PLEASE READ THE NOTES BELOW*) | Gojo Satoru | Geto Suguru | Shoko Ieiri | Utahime Iori | other JJK Characters CHAPTER COUNT: 8/8 WORD COUNT: 4, 800+ GENRE: romance | fluff | slight angst | smut | ooc depictions | female reader with described appearance* | modern au | rich people au | aged up characters CHAPTER TRIGGER WARNING: profanity | age gap | cigarette smoking | strong/mature/suggestive language | alcohol use SPOILERS: n/a STATUS: COMPLETED

collection masterlist

one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight (final)

"Play the Game" Masterlist

You stood by the door, watching the chaos in your brother’s bedroom as he prepared for his wedding at sunset, waiting for everyone to leave so you can finally speak to him in private. He was, after all, the only one in the family you cared for enough to inform him of your decisions.

People always say you and Gojo were similar. However, those very things that made you alike also set you apart. Besides the platinum white hair and remarkable blue eyes you shared – unique even within the clan – being the absolute obvious, the similarities stopped there.

You siblings were supposed to be akin to one another, but the same things they loved about your brother were the same things people abhorred about you. You and your brother were both prodigies. He was richer than the whole clan, all assets combined being the successful businessman he was ever since he was in his teens. It was as freakish as it was awe-inspiring. You were an artist of great renown with your multi-million dollar pieces and the youngest to have been dubbed as a national artist when you were the same age as him.

But where he basked in fame and acclaim, your prominence was fueled by infamy. Gojo built an empire that served as one of the pillars of the local economy. You produced artistic pieces that inspired execration and controversy. Undeniably brilliant, yes, but absolutely contentious.

Your brother was kind. In fact, he was the best older brother one could ever ask for, and that was not lip service nor was it because of your biases towards him. You can never discount how caring he is to you, how hard he tries to make you happy and how he would go through lengths as to be the idiot just to satisfy your whims. He was just genuinely good-natured although he appeared somewhat insouciant. He had his evil streak, too, which is established in the clan, but his goodness radiated like a light that followed him wherever he went.

However, you have long accepted that your side which reflected Gojo in every way when you were younger had long died. Altruism wasn’t one of your strongest suits and you were only ever affectionate to people you had deep, deep fondness for. And that wasn’t even something common. Even your parents had always been the receiving end of your lackadaisical attitude.

He attracted people, you repelled them. Being surrounded by the good people he called friends was a testament to that no matter how vexing his personality was, and more people want to be near him. Apart from your three friends, you didn't make any more and your school life sucked because majority of your classmates hated you. For what, you didn't know. You don’t think you will ever understand.

It was your seven-year gap that made all the difference, you liked to think. It was much easier to swallow than the concept of the whole cosmos conspiring to create two creatures to be equals but of the opposite nature. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be that way, but you will always be the one looking up to him regardless if you did not choose the same path as his; regardless of whether there were no comparisons with what either of you endeavored to do.

And above everything else, you loved Satoru very much.

“Got a minute?” You began, standing before him in front of the mirror. It was rather annoying watching him struggle with the cufflinks, and you didn’t think he would manage to fix the bowtie still hanging loosely on his neck. Thus, you thought of taking charge. “Give it here.”

Gojo was surprised, but he was nonetheless happy. He wore his heart on his sleeve after all, and you could only guess it was that vulnerability he risked showing that attracted people to him. You have only learned the intricacies of such a matter recently, something you had to agree with since it all made perfect sense.

“Thank you,” he said, tilting his head to the side, watching you work on his cuffs.

“You’re really getting married, huh?” you began, feeling yourself start to falter, but you have decided. You may not have gotten him the best wedding gift materially speaking, but you swore to let him in on what was going on with you, to be honest with him like you hadn’t been for the longest time. “Who would have known?”

“Am I finally getting that emotional pre-wedding sibling talk?” he asked, walking towards the seats by the window and looking out into the garden.

“You’re getting married, not being sent away to prison. I don’t even understand why this happens during weddings,” you quipped, sighing. “But I guess you could call it that.”

He smiled at you, patting the space beside him. You did as you were told, assuming the spot, but also looking out the window, watching as the organizers made finishing touches to the garden below. No expense was spared to make the occasion as perfect as it could get. You couldn’t argue with it. Gojo deserved the best, and to him, Utahime did, too.

“I’m waiting,” he said, breaking the silence that had befallen the room. “You’ve been pacing before the door for god knows how long when you should have been getting ready.”

“I got ready much faster than you did.”

“And you look beautiful.” He tilted his head to the side, eyeing you appreciatively. “Sometimes, I can’t believe you’re all grown up. And what a beautiful woman you’ve become.”

You smirked. “You’re looking at your mirror image after all.”

“Well, there’s that, of course.” He laughed slightly. “But I’m not just saying that because we’re basically the same person. You really are beautiful, baby sis.” He tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, opting for it instead of his usual choice of mussing your hair since it has already been styled for the wedding.

You just shook your head. “Thank you, Satoru.”

“So, what did you want to talk about exactly?”

“The other day…” Your voice trailed off, thinking about what to say. It wasn’t that way before between you and your brother. He was always the easiest person to talk to, always open minded and optimistic about matters. But now that you were going to discuss something that he had vocally opposed, you were a bit scared of saying anything. Nevertheless, it wouldn’t do Nanami justice if you decided to hold back now, considering that he was more than ready to speak to your brother.

You’ve both initially decided to sit Gojo down and tell him about your decisions together, but you informed Nanami earlier in the day that you needed to have a proper conversation with him first. It wasn’t just your choice to be with Nanami that was the matter, and you wanted to get things straightened out with Gojo before he gets married.

“Yes?” he prompted.

“You said I don’t talk enough to you; that I don’t tell you things anymore.”

Gojo slowly nodded.

You breathed out. “Things changed. We can’t deny that. I grew up and you…well, you’ve decided you want to spend your life with Iori and build your own family.” Your lips curled up awkwardly as you tried to keep your emotions at bay. It was new territory having such talks with him when you’re used to your easy-going dynamic with him. “I’m scared, too. I mean, I can’t just bother you anytime anymore cause you’ll have your wife and eventually children to pay attention to and prioritize.”

He was taken aback by what you said, immediately drawing closer. “What are you saying, Y/N? You’re my sister. Nothing will change –”

“Our bond will not change, dude, but you have to admit that what I’m saying is true.” You took his hand in yours, squeezing it gently. You beamed at the fact that your fingers were structured in the same tapered manner as his. Even the shape of your fingernails were the same, just that his hands were bigger than your delicate ones. “What I’m saying is that even if you need to do that, I will be fine.”

“Of course, you will be. You’re my sister, and above that, you are your own person, and you’re stronger than you think. You’ve been handling things on your own for as long as I can remember.” He pouted, trying to act cute with you. “It’s disappointing, to be honest, because you’ve never really given me the chance to play my role in your life because you’re always the mature one.”

You were confused now. “What are you on about? You’re my only brother, but I can’t imagine anyone else holding that position in my life. You’re the best I could have asked for. I’ve always looked up to you. You’re my role model.”

“I am?”

“Yeah. The fuck are you so surprised for?” You snickered. “That aside, if you felt like I’ve been leaving you out, that’s not the intention at all. I always want you to be the first one to know what’s going on with my life…”

He clucked his tongue. “I understand you’re not doing it on purpose, kid. I’m just worried that you didn’t think I’m worth telling anything because, well, I’m not exactly a proper adult, am I?”

“You’re realizing that now that you’re about to get married?” you taunted him, jabbing your thumb towards the direction of the garden. “Should I tell Iori to call this whole thing off?”

He waved you aside. “Hey, don’t say that!”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Anyway, there’s something I wanted to tell you for a while now.”

“How long is a while, exactly?”

“Years and years.” You flashed him a rueful smile. “I just couldn’t figure out how to tell you because I am not exactly sure how you feel about it although you’ve told me many times you were opposed to it. What I’m saying it that, I know that fact, but it’s the motivation behind it that is beyond my knowledge.”

Gojo’s eyes rounded, realizing what you were saying. “Are you…”

You nodded. “Yes, I am talking about Kento.”

He just blinked and stood up, pacing around in front of you for a while that you had to stop him from doing it. He had such a bad habit of doing that when he is in deep thought, and always in front of you, too. He was making you dizzy.

You seized him by the wrist. “Please say something.”

“I…”

“Why are you opposed to it?”

He stopped pacing and faced you, taking you by the shoulders, his eyes starting to water. “Y/N…”

“Oh no, are you gonna cry?”

He furiously blinked his tears back, the action almost comical if it weren’t for the serious look on his face. “Because you are my little sister. You think it will be easy for me to just hand you over to anyone? My friends aren’t exceptions to that although I trust them with everything that I have. I will always, always worry about you when it comes to that matter because I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want you to be taken advantage of, and I don’t want to have to break either Suguru or Kento’s bones when the time comes.”

“I can manage the latter on my own.” You sighed, finding your resolve strengthening. “But like you said, I’m this old now. I want you to understand that I know what I am doing and I am confident about my decisions. Honestly, I didn’t want to talk about this as if I am asking for your permission. This is what I meant when I said I will be fine. I am not saying you don’t have a say in my life, but I am telling you this time because I want you to know before anyone else does.”

“Suguru doesn’t know?” he asked, eyes sparkling.

“Don’t be petty. I tell him things I can’t tell you just like you tell him things you can’t tell me,” but you nodded anyway. “He doesn’t know yet…I think.”

“So…you and Kento…”

You nodded again. “I’m in love with him, Satoru. And he feels the same way.”

“You are?” His expressions softened, hugging you to him. “You’ve grown. Really grown.”

You returned the gesture, holding onto him tight. “Please don’t ever think that I am leaving you out of my life because I always want to tell you everything.”

Just then, he pulled back, his brows furrowing while his eyes narrowed at you. “So, why isn’t he the one telling me this? Where is that bastard?”

You shrugged. “He wants to be here. Trust me. I just asked him if I could talk to you first because I have issues to resolve with you apart from my relationship with him.”

Gojo exhaled, nodding in understanding. “I understand, Y/N. But are you certain?”

“Yes. I’m scared of hurting him, but I’ll do my best, I guess.”

“Hmm, yeah. Maybe you should tone down on your mischief, too. I don’t want him dying of stress because of you. He’s still precious to me.”

At that, you laughed. “I know.”

He poked you on the cheek. “Alright then. If that’s what makes you happy, I won’t stand in your way. You have my blessing.” His teeth clenched then. “But I’m still going to have to talk to him man to man in case he thinks he’s off the hook.”

“Worry about your wedding first,” you jibed.

“I almost forgot about that.”

“I’m telling Iori.”

He shook his head, feigning panic. “Don’t.”

You both ended up laughing, joking about the guests who were arriving at the garden, poking fun at the relatives you both detested but had no choice but to invite. Just like that, you were back to how it used to be, easily conversing and sharing the same sentiments about things and same penchant for devilry.

Soon, the organizer came to his room, informing him that he needed to go to the garden to prepare. You reached up and fixed his tie and jacket for him, holding him at arm’s length to appreciate your handiwork. “You’re all set.”

“Thank you.” He smiled wide but you saw the nervousness in his eyes. “I’m getting married!”

“You are.”

“I’m more anxious about seeing Kento after what you told me,” he stated dramatically.

You eyed him witheringly. “Shut up and pull yourself together.”

He snickered then. “Kidding. Let’s go.”

“Okay.”

The two of you walk to the garden, your arm around his. He stood at the spot just by the last row of seats with you, grinning at you when he saw you looking at Nanami who was already dutifully standing on his spot, speaking to Geto.

“Concentrate on your vows, yeah?” you told your brother.

“I’m off.”

“In case we don’t get to talk before you leave for your honeymoon,” you began, “Just know that I am waiting for the speedy arrival of my nieces and nephews.”

Gojo laughed at that, but nodded anyway and said, “I’ll do a good job, I promise.”

“And Satoru?”

“Yeah?”

“Love you.”

“I know, kid. I know.” He turned on his heels and walked towards his place at the front pews while you watched, his steps leading you towards the very man you would want to see standing there when the time comes, his halo of golden locks bright under the setting sun but you knew your future with him would be even more brilliant.

**

The familiar bars of Johann Pachelbel’s “Canon” began to play in a modified, slowed-down wedding version made especially for Gojo and Utahime’s wedding, played on the harp, piano and violin, cueing the beginning to the entrance of the bridal entourage. It began with the entrance of the flower girls who scattered petals of different flowers on the white carpet that lined the long aisle.

Arches and bouquets of flowers festooned the garden, with gossamer cloth hanging about, interlaced with live wisteria that hung down from the canopy along with fairy lights that progressively turned on as the sky grew darker. White and pink dominated the color palette as Utahime had wished and the same goes for the reception area. It was probably one of the most beautiful wedding setups Nanami has ever seen.

But his eyes weren’t on the ornaments. They were trained on the end of the walled garden, waiting for your ascent on the marble steps where the white carpet extended, the march made more dramatic by the organizers by opting for a meandering aisle instead of the traditional, straight walkway for the bride. And it did achieve the desired effect when you finally emerged from the steps and into view.

He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips upon finally seeing you clad in that familiar faded rose gown he had first seen being fitted on you to perfection. He kissed you while you wore that very article of clothing not long ago at the couturier’s shop, and though he thought back then that he has never seen anything more beautiful, he was amazed at the fact that you looked even more gorgeous in it as you glided towards the front.

He loved you so much it hurts, and although you’ve both professed your deep affections for one another and decided to take things head on together, he still felt like he was in the middle of a dream he didn’t want to wake up from. You came closer, and once more, he was back at the semi-outdoor ballroom the first day he came that week, beholding the goddess that was you but seemingly in a different light – brighter this time, overwhelming him to the point that he had to remind himself how to breathe when you finally looked his way and beamed unabashedly, your affections towards him unmasked, real and not under the guise of a game.

“Kento,” he heard Gojo say softly just then, the man’s blue eyes furtively glancing at him.

“Yes?” he answered in hushed tones.

“Hurt my baby sister and I’ll have your severed head hung by the gates of the estate,” he said. “Are we clear about that?”

Geto snickered, concealing it by facing the other way.

“Understood,” Nanami said seriously. “I’m counting on it.”

When you were near enough, you smiled at your brother and Geto before turning your attention to Nanami. You winked at him as you passed by before turning towards your spot opposite them across the aisle, your attention trained towards the point where you came from.

He couldn’t stop looking at you, not even when he felt Gojo hold onto his arm, squeezing tight as Utahime came into view. He didn’t mean to be insulting to his friends. She was beautiful in her wedding gown and he couldn’t help but be moved by the loving look that your brother had on his face as he watched his wife-to-be come closer, guided by her father who will give her away as the sun set. It was poetic. A new beginning after a beautiful end. He probably looked the same whenever his eyes would find you.

The ceremony carried on as everyone sat down, waiting for the couple to exchange their ‘I do’s.’ their vows, rings and the much-awaited kiss. It was making him emotional, thinking of the time when he himself would draw your veil and get to claim you as his for life in front of everyone you both loved and cared about. He couldn’t wait for it, and he may be getting ahead of himself, but he wanted what Gojo and Utahime had with you.

As the minister announced the pair man and wife, everyone applauded and cheered for them. He did so, too, chuckling when Geto whistled loudly, being his cheeky self. Just then, he nudged Nanami on the side, grinning impudently.

“Is it safe to assume you’re next?” he queried in the same manner.

Nanami rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “Who knows? Someone might actually steal your heart in the next months and we’ll be seeing you crying as you watch your bride walk towards you by next year.”

Geto snickered at that. “Yeah, right. You looked like you wanted to jump Y/N and replace Satoru and Iori at the altar all this time.”

“Who wants to replace my brother and sister-in-law at the altar?” they heard you say, appearing out of nowhere, your head tilted to the side as you shifted your blue orbs between the two males, but before either of them could answer, you linked your arm with Nanami who smiled down at you blissfully. You returned the gesture, your cheeks blushing prettily under the twinkling lights overhead.

“I see you’ve figured things out.” Geto smirked, patting Nanami on the back just as Shoko came into view, taking the former by the arm, claiming she needed a smoke. She pulled him away, leaving you and Nanami to yourselves, winking as they walked away.

“So, you told him?” you asked, cocking your head towards the wide lawn where the pergolas were, built on three sides of the square and closed by an elevated area for the band, all surrounding a dance floor under a huge, white tent above, also adorned with thousands of lights. It was your design, solely for the wedding reception and a form of gift to the newlyweds.

“Satoru did indirectly when he said he’ll have my head hung at the gates of Gojo Manor if I hurt you.” He shook his head, laughing slightly. “Bastard had the gall to laugh at me, too.”

“He nearly cried when I told him earlier,” you said, regaling him with how your conversation with Gojo went. “He trusts you and is actually afraid I’ll hurt you, too.”

He shook his head. “It’s all part of the process, isn’t it?”

“Mhmm.”

“We’ll take it head on.” He held your hand, twining your fingers together.

You nodded, squeezing his larger hand. “We will.”

Just then, your friends emerged from the reception area with Noabara taking the lead, mischief drawn all over her face as she approached you. “I took care of the sitting arrangement,” she said to you then turned to Nanami. “Take care of Y/N. Make her cry and –”

“You’ll have my head?” Nanami supplemented but Nobara shook her head. “I’ll tan your hide. Satoru gets your head apparently.”

At that, Nanami laughed, nodding nonetheless. But to your surprise, she also turned her attention to you, holding you by the shoulders. “Are you still playing?”

“Nope.” You pressed your lips together, shaking your head slowly.

She smiled then. “Good.” She glanced at Nanami. “You’ve got you a good one here.”

“I know.”

They left you alone after that much to his relief, but then you said, “Wanna play a game?”

His eyes rounded and he felt tension again once he heard you say those familiar words, always the preamble to every single mischievous stunt you’ve ever pulled on everyone including him. He paused and looked at you. “I thought no more games?”

You smirked at him. “One more won’t hurt.”

He sighed, giving in. “You’re going to be the death of me, I swear to god.”

“So, are you in?”

“When did I ever say no to you?”

You giggled. “Great.”

“What is it about this time?” he asked, indulging you.

“Whoever gets a rise out of Satoru first wins.”

“The stakes?”

You just winked suggestively at him.

**

You forfeited. For the first time, you lost in your own game. It counted – albeit momentary – because you initiated the game…said the very words that began everything that paved the way to the result you’ve always wanted. But you did not really consider it a loss when for the long run, you’ve gained the very person you’d always gladly lose to at any given time.

After you father offered a toast for the newlyweds, the speeches began, starting with Utahime’s parents then yours, eventually moving on to you, then the bride and groom’s shared close friends. Geto had been rather irreverent as usual, pointing out the things that both Gojo and Utahime supposedly disliked from one another yet brought them closer, making everyone laugh when Shoko came up the stage and began her speech, saying, “Opposites do attract.”

You sat on your table with Nanami, both of you waiting for your turns. He was next in line after Shoko, smirking at you as he stood up and walked towards the platform and began his piece by congratulating Gojo, “for landing a very gracious woman who has the most enduring patience I have ever known in all mankind, given the grief that Ieiri, Suguru and I had to endure before Iori came to his life.”

He continued on with his witty address, pretty much reflecting what Suguru said and entertaining the crowd enough when he started to express his gratitude. “While I know that this changes nothing between us as the best of friends – including your nature that tested one’s forbearance – I would like to say thank you for many things. Thank you because you are, well, you…” He did a dramatic eye roll.

The guests laughed.

“Thank you because you are a real person who offered friendship to quiet, boring old me,” he said, droning on about the things he appreciated about the couple before saying the things he was thankful to Gojo about. “And thank you, because without you, without our friendship, I wouldn’t have met the very person I also want to walk this earth with for the rest of my life.”

You would have fallen off your seat when Megumi playfully nudged you if it weren’t for Yuuji who also held onto your shoulders from behind your seat, shaking you excitedly.

“If it weren’t for one Gojo Satoru, I wouldn’t have met Y/N.”

You felt all eyes turn towards you, including your parents and your brother, heat suffusing your cheeks as you tried hard to keep yourself from smiling like an idiot for everyone to see. Nanami has outdone you this time, and you knew you didn’t have a chance to go against that when he had so publicly expressed how he felt about you.

“I love her with everything that I am,” he continued, “and I will continue to do so even without your threat to behead me.” He raised his glass. “To Iori and Satoru. May you have the happiest, most prosperous married life from today and for always.”

Geto whistled loudly while the guests applauded. You also stood up, clapping your hands slowly as you shook your head. You’ve lost big time, backed by the fact that your brother stood up raising his glass as he said, “I couldn’t have wished for a better future brother-in-law.” He then looked at you, smiling fondly.

Nanami got Gojo to state his approval for everyone to hear. You can’t win against that even if you nearly made the latter cry.

And now, you were just happy to be in Nanami’s arms as he swayed you both to the tune the jazz band was playing, your arms hanging around his shoulders and your fingers playing with the hair at the base of his head while he held you against him by the waist.

“So?” Nanami began. “How’s that for a final game?”

“Not bad,” you acceded, smirking at him. “I’ll admit defeat.”

“Damn right, you are.” He smiled down at you, his dark eyes reflecting the muted, xanthic lights that surrounded you. “I have a couple of things I’d want you to do for me, by the way.”

You nodded slowly, keeping a straight face at the mention of his prize. “Rules are rules.”

His brows furrowed slightly. “Then again, you haven’t told me what you wanted when you won a week ago.”

You grinned, burying your face on his chest, listening to the faint sound of his heart. “But I did get what I want.”

“And that is?”

You met his gaze from under your lashes. “You,” you stated in full confidence.

Nanami nodded, suppressing a smile. “If you say so.”

“I wouldn’t wish for anything else.” You pulled him towards you so you could peck him on the mouth. “Thank you.”

“I don’t know what for, but as always, anything for you.”

You chuckled at that. Knowing him, he’ll make good on his words for sure, so much so that you didn’t feel the least bit of worry where your future with him was concerned. “You have to learn how to say no to me.”

“I guess, but since I won, have I finally made it to the list of people you don’t mess with?” he asked.

“As promised, yes.”

“No more games?”

“No more games,” you repeated. “Although I have to say it keeps things interesting between us. Don’t you think so?”

You both dissolved in laughter, the merry mingling of your voices coming to a standstill when he bent down and cupped your cheeks, running his thumb over your cheek before staking his claim on your lips while you returned the gesture in kind, locked in each other’s arms, glad you both played the game. And won.

-THE END-

I would like to say thank you to everyone who read this and kept up with my erratic updating. It's been a good 6 weeks. Thanks!

*I used “you” here, but since my character is Gojo’s little sister who is established to be his female clone for reasons essential to the plot, she possesses the same blue eyes and white hair. I did not exactly want to create an OC (although technically, I did by describing Y/N), but I opted for the best of both worlds in this fic, leaning more towards the literary aspect of it as opposed to it just being reader/you-oriented. I hope this isn’t iffy to anyone, and yeah, i’m not being exclusive or whatever.

Thank you so much for reading. Likes, comments and reblogs are deeply appreciated! Hope you enjoyed it.

© ORIGINAL WORK BY nanaminokanojo. CHARACTERS ARE INSPIRED BY GEGE AKUTAMI'S “JUJUTSU KAISEN.” [20210814]

PHOTO/IMAGE/GIF/FANART CREDITS TO THE RESPECTIVE OWNERS.

[cleoirvine]

Random Headcanons: Captains Addition

Just some quick hc's I was thinking about the other day. I will absolutely make more if anyone wants them:)

Daichi:

I picture Daichi to be someone who is genuinely protective when in a relationship

The type of person to text you good morning on his way to school/ good night as he’s about to go to bed

If he’s at your house studying with you and you fall asleep he will put your phone on the charger so it doesn’t die

Walks you to class and carries your bag on top of his own

Definitely the type to put a hand on the small of your back when you’re walking in tight or crowded places

I don’t see him as someone who is especially physical in public, like I think he keeps his pda to a minimum

But he’s still a teenage boy so all things considered I do think he would get *clingy* from time to time

If he stays after school to practice and he can’t walk home with you/catch the train he will ask you to text him when you get home just to make sure you arrived safely

He has the best communication skills out of all the captains, and he is incredibly patient, so if he gets frustrated or angry I think his first plan of action would be to talk things out and see where it goes from there

Dates with him are usually pretty casual, but what you don’t see is him panicking the day before he invites you because he wants everything to be perfect

Like I hc him as someone who won’t show it, but he plans everything down to the last detail to make sure everything is in order before he leaves his house to meet you

Probably picks up flowers for you because his mom said something about how romantic that would be

Is much more responsible than the average high school student and will always remind you to eat, take your vitamins, get enough sleep, etc

Buys you orange juice and slips a vitamin c tablet into it before giving it to you

Volleyball is a priority for him, but his team and the relationships he makes are what matter the most. At the end of the day, I think he realizes that you win some and you lose some, and he would rather be in your arms while thinking of those losses, than moping around on his own.

He seeks comfort in the most odd ways, like lifting your hand and placing it on top of his head

Or sticking his hands in the front pockets of your sweatshirts

Overall I think Daichi is a sweetheart, and that would show through while dating

Oikawa:

Bruhhhh this boy is so mf whiney

Like he will complain about everything that is surface level, but if something is truly bothering him he will keep it pent up

Part of the reason why his past relationships didn’t work is because he didn’t know how to balance volleyball and an s/o and always prioritized one (ahem, volleyball) over the other

So if he asks you out or vice versa, you need to be ready to give him unconditional support

Regardless, Oikawa is someone who is caring by instinct. I think that after becoming captain, be began to realize that it was better to lead his team on equal footing, so he took notice of any and everything

He applies this technique while dating, and sometimes has to remember that you’re not a volleyball opponent, you’re his s/o

He strikes me as the type of person to hold the door for you and then right as you’re about to reach the handle, will let it slam closed in your face while laughing from behind the glass

If you’re shorter than him, he will make fun of your height

If you’re taller than him, he will make fun of your height

You don’t win either way

I think he likes receiving confessions on the outside, but deep down he knows that these girls don’t really want anything special from him, and that bothers him to an extent

He’s still a teenage boy with a massive ego though, and while confessions may be one way to stroke it, I think he would want something genuine and passionate

I think he would also be the type of person to walk you home and then realize half a mile in that he got the both of you lost cause he was rambling about aliens or something

Definitely listens to true crime/supernatural podcasts

Probably has a Buzzfeed Unsolved addiction and watches Shane and Ryan in between study breaks

He is someone who has a lot of drive, and would want someone who is equally if not more hardworking than him

Would ask you to baby sit with him

Unlike Daichi you’re gonna be the one plugging his phone in at night so it doesn’t die

Will fall asleep on top of you if you don’t move every once in awhile, so be prepared to hold it if you’ve gotta use the bathroom

Kuroo:

Kuroo is a menace in the best way possible

He is so sly and he loves to tease you to the point where it can be almost unbearable

But he definitely knows where and when to draw the line, and on the off chance he does cross it, he apologizes almost immediately

I think Kuroo in a relationship would be really playful and laid back

He’s not someone who takes things too seriously, and is extremely intuitive and knows how to match other people's vibes/wave lengths

But when you first start dating it’s going to be awkward asf let's be real

He probably trys to warm up to you with some chemistry pick up line that flies right over your head

And while you sit there and laugh awkwardly while you question everything you’ve been taught in school up until now

Kuroo is attempting to recover from such a disastrous fail

But if you do understand the pun, and shoot him one back that is equally as intelligent, he will get all red in the face and will hide his blushing cheeks behind his hands

Either way, he’s going to be flustered

Kuroo is someone who can pick up on other people's emotions pretty well, and is quite observant, which comes in handy when dating

Will ask you what’s wrong before you even realize you’re upset

Brings you little cartons of milk or coffee and drops them off on your desk before school if he thinks you’ll be tired when you arrive

Despite his boisterous attitude, Kuroo is like *smart smart* ok he knows his stuff

He probably doesn’t even study he most likely just pays attention in school and takes really good notes and then right before a quiz he looks them over once

He makes up songs in his head to help him memorize important information, whether for school or for volleyball

Will 100% attempt to introduce you to Kenma

But if the blonde doesn’t like you then he will drop you

Jokes jokes (kind of) but I think it’s important for Kuroo that his best friend kind of likes you, or else it would be really awkward among the three of you

He will carry a hair tie on his wrist for you if you need it

If you’re bigger than him he will steal your sweatshirts, regardless of what’s on it.

I can imagine him studying with you one night and leaving with a hoodie, and rolling up to practice with like Sailor Moon plastered on the front of it

Really gives zero fucks

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Fourteen

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: my quickest AND longest update to date?? who am i??

merry christmas for real this time. thank you sm for reading i never voice my appreciation for yall but it’s there i swear

tw: abuse mention

***

Cassian’s plan to grab his stuff and get the hell back home is intercepted by Feyre, who pulls him aside and proceeds to spill everything about her fight with Nesta to him.

His heart hurts for Feyre—he of all people knows what it’s like to feel unwanted by your biological family. But what did she really think would happen? Their entire friend group is about placing chosen bonds over blood bonds. Feyre can’t be that offended if Nesta prefers the company of her friends over her little sisters. And trying to talk to Nesta about her therapy? Jesus.

But Cassian has a feeling it’ll take both Feyre and Elain a long spelling out of things before they can begin to understand Nesta the way he does, and he doesn’t have time for that right now. He’s too distracted to even provide the comfort Feyre came to him for.

Somehow, he makes up an excuse and detaches himself from the conversation, leaving to find his coat and keys. Azriel spies him on the way to the door and gives him a look.

“Not a fucking word,” Cassian growls as he passes. Everyone else is engrossed in a game of poker and getting progressively more drunk. Feyre now sits on Rhys’s lap, once again content. Azriel only smirks but shakes his head, letting Cassian slip out of the penthouse unnoticed.

He takes the long way home, needing the night air and flashing headlights to clear his head. Once he gets off the freeway leading to town, though, he picks up his phone and calls Nesta.

She doesn’t pick up.

On the fourth call that goes unanswered, Cassian gives up. Fine. She doesn’t want to talk to him tonight. But still he finds himself driving past her neighborhood, once, twice, as if he’s listless without being able to talk to her. He has too many feelings he needs to get off his chest, and she’s the first person he always goes to for those things.

Try to consider her feelings.

It’s that thought that forces him to turn around and drive back to the cabin. They’ll both feel better in the morning, anyway. He can find her and talk as soon as the day starts.

It’s past midnight when he finally pulls up to the driveway, and still he’s disappointed to not see Nesta’s car there. Still he’s disappointed to enter an empty cabin.

The Christmas tree they decorated together sits unlit in the corner of the living room, their presents untouched under the fir leaves. Without turning the lights on, Cassian trudges upstairs and heads straight to bed.

Any sleep he finds is short and restless. His eyes shut sometime around three in the morning, and when they next open, early dawn light is streaming in through the windows. Snow flurries gently against the glass.

Giving up on the prospect of genuine rest, Cassian accepts that he’ll have to seek out Nesta with dark circles and a half-functioning brain today.

He already has a list in his mind as he heads downstairs: get coffee and breakfast for Nesta, get dressed, be at her door by the time she wakes at nine.

Then he reaches the foot of the stairs, and realizes none of that is necessary.

Straight out of his dreams, Nesta is sitting cross-legged on the ground before the coffee table, inspecting a puzzle piece in the cutest sweater he’s ever seen.

Cassian freezes with his hand on the banister, wondering if he’s still asleep. He watches her bite her lip intently, trying to fit the puzzle piece into a corner of the puzzle. It doesn’t fit.

“Fuck,” she swears softly, tossing the piece aside. Cassian clears his throat.

Nesta’s head shoots up, her focus broken. “You’re awake.”

“You’re in my house,” he says dumbly.

“That’s what the key you gave me is for, isn’t it?”

Hesitantly, like he’s approaching a wounded bear, Cassian walks farther into the living room. “Are you—I mean, are we…?”

“Use your words, baby.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. She doesn’t seem upset. There’s so much he wants to ask her: did she sleep well? Where did she get her Christmas sweater from, and does it mean she’s secretly been a fan of Christmas all along? Does she want hot chocolate or coffee with her breakfast?

“How was your night?” he settles on. He moves to sit across from her at the coffee table.

“Find where this goes,” Nesta demands, handing him a new puzzle piece and pointing to their nearly finished puzzle.

Cassian obeys, and Nesta talks while he works. “I was pretty pissed when I got home last night,” she says. “I wanted to tell you all about this stupid fight I had with my boyfriend, and how I knew he was right but I was still furious at him, until I remembered that you were my boyfriend, and I didn’t want to see you.”

Cassian pretends to focus on the puzzle, letting Nesta get her words out.

“So Gwyn called to say thank you for her present—you were right, by the way, she loves it—and then we ended up talking the whole night, and I told her everything about my sisters and,” she waves a hand, “the other shit.

“And at one point I realized that I was telling her the stuff I needed to be telling you. So I came here as soon as I hung up with Gwyn.”

Cassian looks up. “When was that?”

Nesta shrugs. “Five in the morning?”

“Nesta,” he scolds. “You’ll fuck up your sleep cycle.”

“Will you let me get to my point, damn it?”

Cassian shuts up and sits back.

Nesta is staring down at the puzzle, fiddling with her fingernails. Carefully selecting her next words like an attorney would. “I wanted to apologize for—the things I said last night. I was projecting my insecurities onto you, and I’m sure you already know it, but that doesn’t make it okay.” She looks up, face serious. “My sisters and I bring out the worst in each other. We always have. But I let that affect how I treated you when you had nothing to do with it.”

“But you were right.” Cassian can’t stay quiet anymore. “I mean, a lot of what you said was wrong, but at the heart of your point you were right.” It took Cassian all night to sift through what Nesta had said, to separate the truth from the meaningless words of hurt. He finally sees it now.

“I should have watched out for you last night, even if I couldn’t claim you as my girlfriend. I know how you are in new environments with new people and I left you to the wolves.” The wolves are his most trusted friends, sure, but they aren’t Nesta’s. And he was an idiot to forget it.

Nesta fixes another puzzle piece into place, and for the first time this morning, true regret passes over her face. “I didn’t enjoy hurting you. I hated every second of it while I was doing it. So as long as you know I didn’t mean any of it, I’ll be fine.”

We were good distractions for each other in your lonely little cabin, but deep down you know we wouldn’t last a day in the real world.

You were sad and desperate for acknowledgement when we first met, and you’re the same way now.

Cassian nods once. “I know,” he says softly. “You could never lie to me.” Even if some of her words had struck a little truer than they should have. Cassian realizes bitterly it’s because her insecurities are the same as his.

“So are you going to tell me about what the real problem was yesterday?” He dares to broach the elephant in the room.

Nesta stiffens, refocusing on the puzzle to avoid his gaze. “I already told you,” she says. “My sisters and I bring out the worst in each other.”

“There’s more to it than that, though.” When Nesta doesn’t respond, he adds, “Feyre told me her side of the story. It probably wasn’t all of it, but if it makes you feel better, I agreed with you.”

Nesta snorts derisively. “She was being unreasonable, but I made it worse. You know that, don’t you?” She raises a brow. “You know how I am.”

Cassian remembers their screaming match from the time he tried to get her a doctor’s appointment, and oddly enough, smiles. “I know you hate it,” he says, “and I know it’s frustrating as hell, but people stop taking your arguments seriously when you start flinging insults. It probably isn’t fair, but you’ve been in a courtroom. You know how it works.”

Nesta grimaces. “Believe me, the future lawyer in me is not proud of how I held up in last night’s fight.”

“Right there.” Cassian slides a section of green pieces over to himself and fits them into place, completing the rolling hills of the landscape scene. There’s only a handful of pieces left, all in the sky area. He waits for Nesta to be ready to speak.

After several moments of working in silence, she says, “My sisters have never really accepted me the way I am. I used to think Elain did back when we were kids, but then I stopped prioritizing her and she stopped understanding.”

Cassian knows Elain is pissed that her once-closest sister no longer cares to talk to her. But what he wants to know is why Nesta stopped answering her calls. Why she pulled away and went into isolation, and wouldn’t come out for anyone until a few short months ago.

Nesta clears her throat. “I was not a well-adjusted kid. I’m not a well-adjusted adult, either, but—I was even worse in my youth. I had a deadbeat dad, who I hated while my sisters adored him. I hated the life we had to live because of him, and I let that hate seep everywhere. Into everything and everyone else.” She blows out a breath and shakes her head. “There was no place closer to hell than that fucking one-bedroom apartment. I hated the person I was in that place—like I had no control over my emotions, my tantrums, my entire self. I was stuck in this childlike state of rage and I couldn’t move on, couldn’t grow up.

“No one could figure out what was wrong with me, so I had to take care of my issues myself. I read more books, I went out more often, I always had headphones in—I learned how to escape. I learned how to limit the destruction. Once I did that, I could care for Elain more openly. I could have civil conversations with Feyre, too. That’s where we went wrong, I think. I gave Feyre hope that I could be a better person, and once she latched onto it, she refused to let go.” Nesta picks at the sleeves of her knit sweater. “She never understood that I was cold and removed just because I was. She always had this belief that deep down, I secretly had a heart of gold and a shit ton of love to give. I never bothered telling her she was wrong, so her expectations of me grew. And so did Elain’s. And then I graduated high school.” She shrugs.

Cassian frowns. “That’s when you left your family and moved here?”

She nods. “The distance helped. For a short time, I thought I was free. No responsibilities or people to answer to. But then I met Tomas—my ex—and Feyre and Elain followed me to Colorado not long after my dad died. And even then I stayed optimistic, because most people would be lucky to have their sisters and boyfriend all in the same place. I thought I could finally have all the relationships a normal person my age was supposed to have if I just put in the effort.” She meets Cassian’s eyes. “I never told you much about Tomas, did I?”

His stomach sinks, but he shakes his head.

“It was not a fun first love. But the only reason I didn’t tell you about it earlier was because I didn’t know how to describe it myself.” She rubs her palms down her thighs, but it isn’t enough to hide their tremble.

“I know what to call it now,” Nesta says. “It was abusive.”

Cassian says nothing. He can’t. But his hands curl into hard fists under the coffee table.

“Lana made me work up to using that word.” She rolls her eyes, like the whole thing annoys and embarrasses her. “He was abusive: physically, verbally, emotionally. I’m not going to go into the details or anything, but it’s what was happening to me during those college years that my sisters needed me to be there for them.”

Cassian would never in a thousand years ask Nesta for information she isn’t ready to give, but in that moment he’s overwhelmed with the need to know everything—every little thing that’s ever been done to her, so he can draw up a list and exact calculated revenge for all of it. His voice is rough against the lump in his throat, out of fury or despair he doesn’t know. “Nesta…”

“I promise I’m almost done.” She holds up a hand.

Take your time. Tell me everything.

“This isn’t about him,” Nesta says. “This is about my sisters. Because even if I hadn’t been stupid enough to let that man waste almost four years of my life, I would have ended up in the same place with Feyre and Elain. They’d still be disappointed when they realized I couldn’t be what they wanted me to be.” She wraps her arms around herself in a hug, and Cassian wishes he’d sat beside her so those could be his arms.

She shakes her head. “I did my best so I wouldn’t be cooped up with them, wouldn’t be lashing out at them… and it still wasn’t enough. They wanted me to be nice, friendly, talkative. So I tried doing that too, even though I hated it. But around the same time things with Tomas started to get unbearable, Feyre found Rhysand and you guys. So now I had to hang out with my sister while she had a group of strangers constantly surrounding her, and go back home to a man who hated me at the end of the day.” She looks up at Cassian then, and her blue-gray gaze hits him with the force of a truck. “As soon as Feyre moved away to Velaris, I saw my way out. I finally broke up with Tomas. I gave up on all my relationships and I let go, and I don’t care if you or anyone else thinks it’s pathetic, or the bare minimum. It’s all I had to give.”

Cassian swallows roughly, unable to find his words. “It’s not pathetic, Nesta,” he finally says. “There’s nothing pathetic about doing what doesn’t come easily to you.”

There’s a million other things he needs to say to her, to make sure that she knows she isn’t stupid, or embarrassing, or not enough. But it all floats right out of his head when she heaves a big, dramatic sigh, as if a great weight has been lifted off her chest. As if Cassian’s measly words were all she needed to hear to feel alright.

She snatches up the final remaining puzzle piece and clicks it into place. “And we’re done,” she declares.

Cassian looks down at the table between them, which is now fully lit by the beaming morning sun outside. His eyes land on an empty space near the corner of the landscape, and his face falls. “There’s a piece missing,” he says.

“No way, where?” Nesta leans closer.

Cassian is already on his hands and knees, checking under and around the table for the missing piece.

“This is all your fault,” Nesta is saying above him. “You bumped into the table that time we were making out and all those pieces went flying.”

“Well, how fucking far could it have gone? Help me find it.” He’s serious now, searching the floor with intent. They can’t leave the puzzle unfinished. It was the only thing he could find in his garage all those months ago that could distract Nesta from anticipating her MRI results. And after the diagnosis, it had been a way to lift her mood, to give the two of them an excuse to spend every evening together—

“Sweetheart, it’s just a puzzle.”

Cassian sits up straight at that. “Just a puzzle?” He narrows his eyes at her.

“Well, it’s either that or an overextended metaphor for our relationship—are you crying?”

“No.” He blinks quickly. If there’s wetness there, he doesn’t know how Nesta glimpsed it.

He’s had a hard twelve hours. Nesta even more so. “I just feel really bad, about last night and everything else.” Because even if she acts like what she just spilled to him isn’t a big deal, he’ll never forget it.

He looks up to find Nesta laughing. Hand-over-her-mouth cackling. Before he can ask what’s wrong with her, she’s climbing up onto the coffee table, breaking up the puzzle and sending pieces scattering as she crawls across it. “Nesta—” he starts to protest.

She drops into his lap, winding her arms and legs around his powerful body. And she leans in and kisses him, long and deep and sweet. His hands settle into the curve of her hips, where they’ve always fit perfectly.

She breaks the kiss to fit her palm to his cheek. “I’m sorry,” she says. She never says that. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Her lips quirk up teasingly, but real guilt from the night before lingers in her eyes. Cassian realizes in that moment that Nesta could never hurt anybody more than she hurts herself.

“Don’t waste your apologies on me.” He nudges her nose with his. “Save them for people who’ll actually need to hear them.”

A real smile starts to bloom on her face. “I’ll try.”

Pride and love take his breath away, but he manages to say, “Thank you. For sharing so much of yourself with me.”

She makes an embarrassed noise and waves him off, but emotion shines in her eyes. Just to spare her, Cassian changes the subject. “Now what in the world are you wearing?”

She glances down at herself, frowning. “You don’t like it?”

“I love it.” The sweater looks hand knit, bright red with a green Christmas tree in the center. Balls of colorful fuzz decorate the tree as ornaments. “I want you to wear it every day,” he says.

“Over my dead body. I’d rather you help me take it off.”

Nesta’s hips feel especially snug against his as heat rushes to his crotch. She smirks like she caught him on a hook and leans in to whisper, “You look tired. Did you stay up thinking about my dress last night?”

Cassian swallows roughly. It might have crossed his mind a few times—not just the dress, but the fact that she had picked it out for him. He didn’t know that Nesta cared about things like that.

She rubs a thumb under his weary and reddened eyes. “After your anger faded, did you think about all the make-up sex we were going to have? Because I did.”

“Nesta,” he groans, dropping his head to rest against her chest. Either she plays him too well or he’s too easy to play, because Cassian is half a second away from damning everything to hell and dragging her to the living room carpet.

Until Nesta’s stomach growls loudly.

That’s when he remembers: it’s Christmas morning, he’s with the love of his life, and they’re both starving and sleep-deprived.

He looks up to find her eyes screwed shut in frustration. Before she can protest, he warns, “Don’t even think about it.” He pats her thighs. “Let’s get some food in you.”

***

Cassian makes them chocolate chip pancakes, and Nesta, feeling clingier than usual today, hangs piggyback off his body the entire time he cooks. She hasn’t slept in almost twenty-four hours, yet she feels like she was born anew this morning.

In the middle of breakfast, Cassian’s phone vibrates. He hardly even glances at it before turning it over.

“Who was it?” Nesta asks through a mouthful of pancakes. She hasn’t asked him about how his own night went, but she expects that his friends will want to call and talk to him at some point today.

“Feyre,” he says without looking at her. “She asked where I went last night.”

“Why’re you ignoring her?” She raises a brow.

Cassian looks a little surprised. “I thought we were mad at her.”

“No.” Nesta sets her fork down. “I’m mad at her. What’s your excuse?”

He shrugs. “Solidarity. I’m mad that you had your Christmas Eve ruined. I know what it took you just to show up there.”

“You’re the only one that knows.” Nesta supposes that not everything has been cleared up with Cassian after all. “Listen,” she tries to soften her blunt tone. “Whatever is between me and my sisters… you don’t need to concern yourself with it. You’ll never have to choose sides between us.”

He watches her closely, carefully. “Even if I want to defend my girlfriend?”

Her stomach flutters at that inconsequential word, but she doesn’t show it. “Even then. Feyre looks at you like an older brother. I’m sure Elain does too, a little bit. Don’t let me get in the way of that.” He probably feels guilty every time he texts Feyre, the loyal bastard.

Cassian looks at his plate, then nods resolutely. “I can do that.” He adds a moment later, “For what it’s worth, I do get where the girls are coming from. Even if they had a shit way of going about it.” His eyes darken as he remembers.

Nesta doesn’t know what he was told about the fight, but she chuckles at his moody face anyway. “I expected you to. You’ve always loved spending time with your family, and you’ve never known anything different. But the reality is this: the closeness you have between you and your brothers isn’t something that can be forced onto every group of siblings. And the more Feyre and Elain try to force it, the more I push against it.”

“It sounds stifling.” His face is open, understanding. “To feel like you’re always too much but never enough.”

Nesta pauses, stunned. Cassian is almost too empathetic sometimes, like he carries a thousand past lives within him. Maybe he spent his time learning Nesta by heart in those lives.

Or maybe she’s getting too damn sentimental. She chokes out a dismissive laugh, going back to her pancakes. “Just text Feyre back. Then we can have the rest of the day to ourselves.”

***

Late morning brings heavy snowfall and a chill that infiltrates the walls of the cabin. The Christmas tree in the living room is lit—something Cassian didn’t notice earlier when he came downstairs to find Nesta in his house. Realizing that she’s the one who lit it up first thing in the morning does something to his chest, but he pushes the feeling down where it can’t scare Nesta away.

The weight of the past day must finally catch up to her, though, because by the time Cassian finishes lighting the fireplace, she’s knocked out asleep on the couch.

“No makeup sex then, Nes?” he says softly. Getting up from the hearth, he goes to pull the fur couch throw over her body. Cassian settles at the end of the couch near her feet, taking care so she doesn’t wake, and picks up his laptop from the coffee table. He’s been slacking with his work ever since he got with Nesta, and he might as well catch up on it now before Rhysand takes notice.

The first email that pops up in his inbox is a corporate reminder about the annual New Year’s Eve fundraiser gala, hosted in some high-class hotel in Denver this year. Cassian reads the email once, twice, three times before reaching for his phone.

Rhys answers on the first ring. “Oh, so you don’t hate us,” he drawls.

“What?” Cassian is confused.

“Because with the way you’ve been acting at family events lately, one would have reason to think you don’t want to be around your family much.”

“Oh—no, this isn’t about that.” Cassian refuses to let Rhys linger on this topic. “I called about the New Year’s party.”

“What about it?” he says. “Other than that tacky hotel.”

Cassian decides to spit it out. “I’m not coming.”

Rhys is stunned silent over the line for a moment. “What do you mean, you’re not coming?” Cassian never misses company events, no matter how much he hates dressing up and driving out to the city to schmooze with donors.

But too many of his holidays have gone to Rhys instead of Nesta this year, and he finds himself unwilling to give more.

“I’ve been stressed as hell lately,” he lies, trying to stay quiet for Nesta. “I’m always the one driving hours to see everyone else, and I can’t go all the way out to Denver for another party. I’m sorry.”

“Bullshit,” Rhys responds. “You have nothing going on at work and nothing going on outside of it. What could you be stressed about?”

Cassian makes a mental note to find a hobby that doesn’t include his brothers, if only so he can use it as an excuse to spend time with his secret girlfriend in the future. For now, he has to settle with the truth. “I can’t tell you.”

It’s a petty card to play, but it’s a valid one. No matter how nosy his family might be, they know how to back off when a line is drawn, no explanation required.

Rhys’s voice softens. “Is it serious? Is it a health issue?”

Cassian nearly laughs, even though he feels bad for making Rhys worry. “No, nothing like that. But I still can’t come.”

“What can I do to make it easier for you?” Rhys tries again. “New Year’s isn’t the same without all of my family in one place.”

Cassian snorts. “Come over to my place then.” He says it half-jokingly, but then Rhys doesn’t answer, as if he’s thinking.

“The gala guest list is too big to fit in the cabin…” he ponders. “But I guess I could have it narrowed down at the last minute. The Mayfairs certainly won’t be happy about it, though.”

Cassian’s eyes widen, and he looks over at Nesta’s sleeping form. “Uh…” He scrambles for something to get him out of this.

“New Year’s at a luxury cabin, all of us reuniting at your home for the first time in months? I love it,” Rhys declares. “Better than fucking Denver, that’s for sure.”

Cassian coughs, then covers it up with a forced chuckle. “I’ll have the place ready by next week.”

The call is over before he knows it, and all he can do is stare at the phone in his hand wondering what the hell just happened.

You didn’t entirely lose, he thinks to himself. You’re spending New Year’s with Nesta.

Yeah—New Year’s with Nesta and his entire family. He drops his head back against the couch and groans quietly.

***

Nesta wakes up late in the afternoon to Cassian presenting her with a mug of eggnog and bad news about New Year’s Eve.

The idea of another party, especially one with her sisters present, so soon after the last one makes Nesta’s very bones ache. But she supposes she’ll just have to take the next week to recover and prepare, because she isn’t missing out on a holiday with Cassian for anything.

The way she’s started romanticizing simple things like the new year should probably alarm her, but it doesn’t.

They sit down to open presents with the TV playing lowly in the background. It’s nothing serious, and Nesta isn’t expecting to get anything much until she unwraps her present.

It’s a vinyl record packaged in an elaborate sleeve with the words Nesta’s Mix etched across it. She slowly pulls the record out of the sleeve, staring at it. “What’s this?”

“It’s called a vinyl.”

She spears him with a look. “I got that. What’s on it?”

Cassian turns sheepish, sprawled out across from her on the carpet. “I stalked your Spotify to figure out what you listen to. Then I made a playlist based off what I thought you’d like and got it turned into vinyl. It’s all new music…” He trails off at the look on her face. “But if you hate it, the B-side has your favorite songs on there. You can listen to it either way.”

“I don’t hate it.” Nesta blinks her burning eyes rapidly, staring down at the gift in her hands. She’s not used to receiving thoughtful gifts—or pricey ones. “Thank you,” she says plainly, trying to let her feelings speak for themselves in those two words. “I love it.” She knows she should be saying more, damn it, but what can she say?

Cassian reaches out to put a hand on her knee, his thumb stroking circles across her leg. She looks up at him and realizes she doesn’t need words. Leaning forward, she lands a kiss on his cheek and can only hope that it’s sufficient. “Where am I going to play it?” she asks.

“I was close to getting you a record player when I remembered I already have one. I’ve never used it in my life.” He looks at her more gently now. “So it’s basically yours.”

Nesta’s chest tightens painfully. Not because he’s giving the record player to her, but because he’s suggesting they own it together.

“My present is going to look so stupid next to yours,” she says quietly.

Cassian grins. “Now I really need to see it.”

Nesta buries her head in her hands in humiliation while he tears open the wrapping paper of his gift, and only looks up when she hears him laugh aloud.

He’s holding a copy of one of Nesta’s favorite romances, and the first of many of her books that he’s ever stolen from her and read. He turns the vintage paperback around in his hands. “I remember this one. I totally had a sex dream about it.” He gazes in reminiscence at the busty blonde on the cover.

Nesta snorts, but scoots closer to him eagerly. “Look inside.”

He flips it open to find dark scribbles along the margins, in every single margin.

“I annotated it,” Nesta says hesitantly. “With my thoughts and analysis on each scene. It’s probably dumb to critically analyze a ninetie’s erotica novel, but I thought you’d find it funny.”

Cassian is flipping through the pages more slowly now, taking his time to read each one. “I don’t think it’s funny,” he says after a moment, his eyes still on the book. “I think it’s more than anything I could have asked for.”

“Well, that’s a bit dramatic for a romance book—”

“Not the book.” He looks up at her with something in his eyes. “It’s all your thoughts.” He looks back at the book in wonder. “Written out for me in detail to keep.”

He starts to smirk, searching for a specific page. “I already know how you feel about the boat scene, but now I need to read about it.”

Nesta makes a noise of protest, grabbing for the book. “Don’t spoil the good parts yet.” She can hardly believe it. He finds her joke present good. “You always spoil the good parts first and get sad about it later.”

He makes a face. “True.” He lowers the book, growing serious. “Nesta.” He clears his throat, and her heart starts pounding. She can hear the words before he says them—

“You’re a really good gift giver.”

Nesta’s breath shudders out of her, in relief or disappointment she doesn’t know. Cassian is still staring at her in amazement, and she can only respond by throwing herself at him, her arms holding him tight.

He doesn’t falter under her weight, but pulls her closer. “Thank you,” he says into her ear.

She pulls back far enough to see him. His beautiful face is outlined with too many emotions for her to read, yet somehow she knows exactly what he’s feeling.

Overwhelmed, she leans in to place a soft kiss above his upper lip, then on his mouth. “Merry Christmas,” she whispers against his lips.

“Merry Christmas, Nesta.”

***

please tell me if you wanna be removed from the taglist so i can make space for other readers!

taglist: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens

[aspoonofsugar]

Semblance of the Soul: Qrow and Raven

The Branwens are two people with a shared past, that have taken different routes in life:

Ozpin: Everyone has a choice. The Branwens chose to accept their powers and the responsibilities that came with them. And later, one of them chose to abandon her duties in favor of her own self-interest.

Qrow has made an altruistic choice. He hates the crimes of his tribe and is happy to help people by working for Ozpin.

Raven has instead decided to prioritize herself and her tribe and sees Ozpin’s cause as foolish and reckless.

At the same time, they are twins, but have chosen different families. This is why the concept of family comes up so often in their interactions. After all, they first meet in the episode called Family:

Raven: Hello, brother.

Qrow: Raven. So, what do you want?

Raven: A girl can't just catch up with her family?

And their last exchange is this:

Raven: Sorry, brother. Sometimes family disappoints you like that.

Qrow: We're not family anymore.

Raven: Were we ever?

Qrow: I thought so, but I guess I was wrong.

Still, how are they doing with their families of choice? Are they happy with them? Do they have healthy relationships?

For the both of them, the answer is no. This happens because Raven and Qrow are both scared to grow close to people.

It is just that this fear is declined in opposite ways. Raven is scared for herself (selfishness), while Qrow is scared for others (selflessness).

This trait they share, but show in different ways, is well conveyed by their respective semblances. This analysis will use their powers as means to explore both characters and their foiling.

RAVEN: BIRDS OF A FEATHER

Raven’s Kindred Link perfectly embodies the saying...

Birds of a feather flock together...

...until the cat comes:

Raven: I...I'm sorry...

On one hand it lets her create portals to the people she has a strong bond with.

On the other hand she mostly uses it to run away from those bonds.

Why does she do it?

The answer is clear:

Lionheart: I'm helping her for the same reason you are - I'm afraid. We... we can't stop her... no one can...

Raven is just another version of the Cowardly Lion. She is a coward like Leo, but does not aknowledge it and prefers to hide behind a pragmatic and survivalist mask:

Raven: That's why I tried to leave when I did. I'm not afraid, I'm smart.

This is why she goes back to her tribe after she leaves Yang and Tai. She says she does so because she considers them her family and wants to protect them.

However, her motivations are implied to be more selfish. She goes to them to run away from things that scare her.

To be more specific, the tribe protects Raven psychologically in two different ways.

1) It lets her be the monster, the criminal, the most violent and powerful one:

Mercury: We’re the guys you should be afraid of.

Raven: I doubt anyone should be afraid of you.

Here, Raven mocks Mercury, but the irony is that her coping mechanism is really not that much different from his. She hides behind a Grimm mask, a universal symbol of fear, but she is the scared one.

2) She goes back to the family who raised her and neglects the family she is supposed to raise (Yang).

Deep down, Raven is just an adult, who fails at being an adult.

Mostly, this shows in her inability to make a choice:

Yang: Which is it, mom? Are you merciful, or are you a survivor?

 As a matter of fact she keeps changing her mind because she is not brave enough to stick to one decision.

Initially, she is sent to Beacon, so that she could learn how to kill hunters. However, she ends up becoming a huntress herself and she accepts to fight Salem. She is considered so loyal that she is even given magical powers. Finally, she enters a relationship and has a daughter with Tai. She basically starts creating a life outside the tribe, only to leave it all behind at a certain point. It is not clear if it is because she saw something specific or if it is the result of a longer struggle.

The point is that nobody forced her to fight Salem. She could have also refused Ozpin’s powers. Finally, she could have told Ozpin and the others she wanted to stop. In any case, she did not have to leave her family to stop fighting Salem. What is more, she could have brought her family with her, when she ran away.

She chooses instead to leave everything she has built behind and goes back to the world she was a child in. It might be a violent world, but she sees it as safer.

Let’s highlight that she has the same tendency of changing idea in the series itself. She switches sides and organizes a risky plan, which puts almost all her major bonds (Qrow, Vernal and Yang) in danger. She does all that because she wants the relic, so that she has leverage against Salem. After all of this, even after Vernal’s death, she simply runs away. She is obviously shaken by her confrontation with Yang, who calls her out. However, Yang is perfectly right when she says so:

Yang: Because you're afraid of Salem!!! And if you thought having Maiden powers put a target on your back, imagine what she'll do when she finds out you have a Relic. She'll come after you with everything she has. Or she can come after me. And I'll be standing there, waiting for her.

Taking the relic would just put Raven in danger. For her it is safer to open the vault and disappear, so that someone else can take care of things. Even if this someone else is her daughter.

In other words, Raven is a failure of a mother. This is shown by her failing all three of her “daughters” (Yang, the Spring Maiden and Vernal). Moreover, it is perfectly conveyed by her being a Maiden.

The idea of maidenhood is symbolically juxtaposed to the one of motherhood. Of course, this does not have to be true in-universe for all the Maidens. Still, in Raven’s case, this juxtaposition is deliberate. Raven is an eternal Maiden, who runs away from her parental responsibilities.

This is why she received the power from her protegee instead than from a mentor figure. She is so selfish she takes from the people she should protect:

Cinder: Vernal was a decoy the whole time. The last Spring Maiden must've trusted you a great deal before she died. I bet that was a mistake...

What is more, it is strongly implied she killed the previous Maiden to take her powers. This is interesting because it ties to a second meaning of her semblance.

Her ability symbolizes the unfairness of the bonds she forges. She works to create those bonds and there is affection involved. However, these bonds are double edged swords for the other party involved because of Raven’s moodiness. She can leave when she wants and come back out of the blue. She can always go to others when she needs it, while others can never reach her. This leads to an unbalanced dynamic in Raven’s favour.

This dynamic can even become extremely dangerous for the other person:

Raven can potentially use her ability to attack the people she is bonded with. She does not use her semblance this way in the series. Still, what happened to the Spring Maiden is something similar. To receive the power of the Maiden, Raven must have been the last person in the girl’s thoughts before death. This probably happened because the two shared a close bond. A bond Raven betrayed.

In other words, the nature of Raven’s semblance hides in itself the potential of betrayal:

Raven: Aura can't protect your arm, it's Grimm. You turned yourself into a monster just for power.

Cinder: Look who's talking...

As Cinder points out, Raven too, like her, has become a monster to obtain power. The difference here is in how this montrosity is conveyed.

In Cinder’s case, she is literally turning into a Grimm. She has accepted this metamorphosis to take the Maidens’ powers.

In Raven’s case, it is ironically the opposite symbolically. She wears a Grimm mask, but the true monstrosity is the Maiden behind it:

Raven is monster-like because she stole the power from a person, who trusted her.

Let’s highlight that the motif of the Grimm mask has come up several times in the series. So far, it has been used by people, like Raven and Adam, who want to be feared. Something similar can be seen in the Hound as well, who is not really wearing a mask, but whose humanity is hidden behind his Grimm appearance.

In all three cases, the true scary thing is what is behind the Grimm-face:

It is always the humanity behind it that is scary. Be it the victim behind the monster in the Hound, society’s mistreatment of Faunus or Raven’s cowardice and what it led her to do:

Yang: You're right. I don't know you. I only know the Raven dad told me about. She was troubled, and complicated, but she fought for what she believed in, whether it was her team or her tribe! Did you kill her too?

Yang’s question is poignant and underlines how all Raven has done is simply to hurt herself. By hurting the people she loves, she has been killing a part of herself.

This is also conveyed by her emblem missing from her possessions. According to the wiki, Raven’s emblem is this:

Raven's emblem is a winged eye with a clock inside of it. This emblem has not appeared on any of her possessions so far.

This is a reference to Raven and Qrow’s allusion to  Hugin and Munin, Odin’s two ravens, who travel the world and bring him information. Raven and Qrow do the same for Ozpin and they are his eyes.

Qrow is the left eye:

Salem: The last eye is blinded... you disappoint me.

While Raven used to be the right. So, her emblem is probably the right version of Qrow’s own one. Still, Raven refuses that part of herself and this is why she is not wearing her emblem.

In short, Raven used to be a bird of a feather with Qrow, but she is not flocking together with him anymore. This is because a scary cat has come:

And Raven has sacrificed her bonds out of fear. Not only that, but she has weaponized them:

Yang:  You turn your back on people, you run away when things get too hard, you put others in harm's way instead of yourself!!

Raven has been using her most loved people as assets, so that she can shield herself from danger. Maybe it is because of this that she symbolically uses Omen to open portals. This even if she can apparently do so without it, since she opens them even as a bird. However, using her sword is a way to distance herself from the true nature of her ability (bonds). It is a way to reduce her ties with people to simple things she can use.

That said, this is damaging Raven herself.

To be more specific, she is making herself weaker and weaker:

Yang: Oh, shut up!! You don't know the first thing about strength! (...) You might be powerful, but that doesn't make you strong.

Raven is powerful, but weak. This weakness is symbolically conveyed by her behaving in the opposite way her semblance would need to truly shine.

Raven’s power works thanks to bonds, so it can be assumed it would be at its strongest if its user cultivated them both in quality and in numbers. However, Raven has few bonds and she is cutting them off one by one:

Yang: You can bond to certain people. And when you do, you could create a portal that takes you straight to them. You've got one for Dad. One for me. And you've got one for Qrow.

We know that Raven is also bonded with Vernal. Still, Vernal dies at the end of volume 5. Of the other ones Yang mentions, Raven has pushed away both Qrow and Yang through her actions at Heaven.

This makes this scene interesting:

Did the portal Raven opened at Heaven go to Tai? Did she go there because she felt nostalgic and missed him? Or is he the only one (both practically and symbolically) she can still run to?

QROW: A SCARE-QROW SCARED OF CROWS

Qrow’s semblance is Misfortune and it is basically a Bad Luck Charm:

I am no one's blessing I'll just bring you harm I'm a cursed black cat I'm an albatross I'm a mirror broken Sad to say I'm your bad luck charm

Qrow causes bad luck around himself. Because of this, he sees himself as a curse.

However, this conflict Qrow has with his semblance is actually symbolic of a turmoil developed on multiple levels.

Let’s begin with this:

Raven: You're the one who left. The tribe raised us, and you turned your back on them.

Qrow: They were killers and thieves.

Raven: They were your family.

Qrow: You have a very skewed perception of that word.

Qrow was born in a tribe of bandits and was taught how to kill and steal. Finally he was sent to a hunter academy, so that he could learn how to kill his classmates in the near future.

Qrow’s semblance is nothing, but the manifestation of his self-hate, that was probably partly caused by the environment he was born in. In a sense, it is his symbolical response to his childhood.

Let’s highlight that this response is very different from Raven’s. This is shown by their opposite behaviours toward their tribe. Qrow leaves it, while Raven goes back to it.

This difference can also be conveyed by how both Raven and Qrow share a specific motif, but embody it in different ways.

Both twins are associated with bad luck. Both can turn into ravens/crows, which are birds linked to misfortune. Moreover, their weapons are called respectively Omen (Raven’s) and Harbinger (Qrow’s).

The meaning is clear. The twins were born and raised with the idea that they should be symbols of violence and bad luck for their enemies. It is just that Raven wants to be a bad omen because it makes her feel strong. Qrow does not want it, but thinks he is:

I'm a harbinger, I cannot lie, I will change the color of your life.

It is to try and free himself from this curse that Qrow started working for Ozpin. He literally becomes the Scarecrow of the story to try and exorcise the bad fortune he brings. He is trying to scare the crows away. He thinks that if he does so, he’ll become a full person.

This ties with the original story of his allusion. In The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, the Scarecrow wants a brain because he is told by an old crow he would be just like a real man, if only he had one. In short, the Scarecrow wants a brain to become a real man, so that he can scare crows better than he already does.

Qrow too wants to be a full person, but he believes he is not. He thinks he is cursed and as a reaction to this he has attached himself to Ozpin and to his cause:

Qrow: No one wanted me... I was cursed... I gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world... I thought I was finally doing some good...

This is why he reacts so badly when he discovers that Ozpin (who is basically a father figure for Qrow) has hidden so many things from him. Not only that, but he feels that the impossibility of truly defeating Salem (of truly defeating evilness) makes his life meaningless.

The point is of course that this is not the case and that Qrow does not need to do anything specific to be a true person and to be loved:

Qrow: Every choice I've ever made has led me here, and I've dragged you along with me. Oz, myself, the others... We're responsible for the mess the world's in now. I shouldn't have come, shouldn't have let any of you come... What was I thinking?!

Ruby: We're all in this together, and we're all going to do the best we can. That's all anyone can do. And I know it's what you've always aimed for. We would've come whether or not you'd let us, so stop talking like we're your responsibility! We're not! But we could still use Qrow Branwen on our side.

Ruby’s confrontation with Qrow at the end of volume 6 is basically the opposite of Yang’s confrontation with Raven in the finale of volume 5.

Yang calls Raven out because she refuses her responsibilities. She pushes them on others and leaves her own daughter to fight a battle she ran away from.

Ruby calls Qrow out on taking too much responsibility on himself. The kids were not forced by him to come. Qrow should not be completely responsible for them, but should learn to fight by their side.

Later on, Qrow is basically told the same by Maria:

Maria: You weren't half bad yourself today, Qrow.

Qrow: I feel like they did all the heavy lifting.

Maria: But you were there to help when they asked for it, and you were there to catch them when they fell. Literally, if I recall.

This is important because Maria appears just after Ozpin (aka Qrow’s mentor and guide) disappears. She is the person Qrow aspired to be:

Qrow: You never used your name, never showed your face. Lots of us thought you were just layin' low. Eventually, we just came to accept that you were probably dead. But the stories about you, I based my weapon off of yours. I wanted to be as good as the Grimm Reaper.

At the same time, Maria too, like him, considers herself a failure:

Maria: Well, I'm nothing but a disappointment, so you're well on your way.

However, at the end of the volume both Maria and Qrow realize that they do not have to save the world by themselves or to be invincible heroes. They just need to be there for their loved ones and the new generations. In short, Maria mentors Qrow on how to be a proper mentor.

And it turns out that he just has to take better care of himself:

In short, Qrow became the Scarecrow to scare crows, but ironically all he needs to do is to overcome his own fear of one Qrow.

If he does not, his semblance is bound to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, as it is shown in his two fights against Tyrian (vol 4 and vol 7).

1) In volume 4 he manages to protect Ruby, but ends up injured and unable to help the kids for the rest of their journey. He goes from their protector to a wounded man they have to take care of.

Narratively, it happens because of this:

Ruby: This is a lot to take in, and it all sounds crazy, but... I'm willing to do whatever I can to help because I trust you. But why couldn't you trust me? Why couldn't you just travel with us, instead of this secrecy, and, and--

Qrow: Look, this has nothing to do with trust. I-- It's a long story, okay?

The whole fight between Tyrian and Qrow could have played out very differently if Qrow were better at communicating with his niece. He wanted her away from Tyrian and himself because of his semblance, but Ruby interpreted it as Qrow not trusting her.

2) In volume 7, the battle ends with Clover’s tragic death being framed on Qrow.

Why does it happen?

Clover: Sometimes the right decision is the hardest to make. I trust James with my life! I wanted to trust you.

Once again, the problem lies in a lack of trust.

Qrow and Clover genuinely like each other and have bonded. Still, they fail to trust each other in a key moment and make the worst possible choice.

This is true for both characters:

Clover: I enjoyed working with you, you know. Even with that endless cynicism of yours.

Qrow: I'm usually proven right.

Clover: We don't have to fight, friend.

Qrow: You don't know my friends. That's how it always goes.

Qrow: Why couldn't you just do the right thing instead of the thing you were told?

In a sense, the whole fight can be read as The Scorpion and the Frog. In the original fairy-tale, the point is that one can’t overcome their own nature. The scorpion will sting the frog even if it goes against its own survival. Here, it is the same for the characters. In order for things to go well, either Clover or Qrow should overcome their flaw, but they fail.

Clover is not able to let go of his loyalty for Ironwood, even if it is clear the orders he received are wrong.

Qrow goes back to his usual cynism and makes a pact with Tyrian:

Robyn: I’m sorry for what happened. It wasn’t your fault.

Qrow: It was, though. I made a deal with the darkness, and he paid the price. It was all happening so fast, but Clover wouldn’t let up. Could have worked together against Tyrian if Clover just... 

Tyrian is the poisonous scorpion, while both Qrow and Clover are two frogs, who are hurt by him. Ironically, the frog’s mistake in the story is to trust the scorpion, while the mistake of our two frogs is that they did not trust each other.

Still, why is it so narratively? To be more specific, why is that so when it comes to Qrow’s character?

The answer is here:

Qrow: But the thing that really stings? For the first time in a while I thought, maybe, maybe I could be around somebody - anybody - without my semblance making it… complicated. And now, it just feels like a childish dream. Gone... like everybody else.

Clover is narratively this:

Blake: You have to understand that all of you are looking for simple answers to a very complicated problem.

He is a very simple answer to a very complicated problem that has its roots in Qrow’s interiority. Qrow’s flaw, what goes in the way of his relationships and happiness, is not that he is unlucky, but that he feels unlucky.

He feels worthless and thinks of himself as bad for others. This is why he keeps his distance and refrains himself from growing close to people.

He blames it on his semblance and this is why he makes an exception for Clover. It is because he sees in the other’s ability an easy fix to his struggle.

Still, he is proven wrong because in the moment of truth, they fail to communicate and everything goes to hell.

This is not to say that Qrow and Clover’s relationship was bad or that Clover deserved to die. In-universe their bond had beautiful aspects and could have grown stronger. Moreover, Clover could have developed and left his flaw behind.

Still, narratively Clover serves a specific purpose and him dying is a part of said purpose.

Clover brings a superficial harmony to a situation and a group dynamic, which is actually not harmonic at all:

Clover: What would you guys do without me?

The Ace Ops are a group of individuals repressing their own feelings and identities for the sake of an unspecified greater good. They see the world in black and white, not because they are stupid, but because they refuse complexity:

Robyn: Yeah, because you don’t care about the truth. You just want someone to be mad at. Easier than taking an honest look at what side you’re on.

Winter: Penny. The general is making hard choices so we don't have to.

This fits with them being a group based on Aesops aka short stories with a very well defined and often simplicistic message.

In short, Clover is the one that keeps his group together. Once he is gone, his group starts deteriorating. All because they refuse to aknowledge their feelings:

Ren: That’s why you lost against Team RWBY. You, you try to fight how you feel about each other, so you’ll never truly work as a team.

Once he is gone, Qrow is similarly forced to grieve and self-reflect. Luckily, he is not alone:

Robyn is the opposite of Qrow in terms of symbolism.

Qrow is associated with crows and bad luck, while Robyn is linked to robins, which bring good fortune.

She is also a symbol of unity and hope (her emblem is basically Katniss’s symbol in the Hunger Games, after all):

Tyrian: Robyn Hill. For such a little bird, you have quite the impact around here! Bringing hope and a smile wherever you go! I find it…upsetting.

Despite this, Robyn too has suffered isolation, just like Qrow:

Robyn: Believe it or not, I know a little of what that’s like. When people are worried you’re gonna sniff out their secrets, they tend to push you away. It makes a real connection… difficult.

Qrow: I-- never thought of it that way.

Robyn’s line is important for two reasons.

a) It shows Qrow that he is not the only one who has met difficulties in life because of his semblance. His case is not unique.

b) It links to the idea that trusting others is difficult and it is not something that comes without dedication and work.

As a matter of fact Robyn’s semblance is specifically symbolic of trust. It is the power to detect lies through touch, so if you are going to work with her, it means you must be ready to trust and to be trusted:

This also ties figuratively with the act of shaking one’s hand as if to make a pact (an act of trust). If Raven’s power is about asymmetrical bonds, then Robyn’s is about mutual ones.

Robyn highlights that this creates problems for her because it is not easy for people to trust. Some can’t be trusted, while others do not trust Robyn won’t cross their boundaries.

However, this also means that the relationships Robyn manages to forge are strong bonds, where everything or almost everything is out in the open. This is the exact opposite kind of environment than the one realized through Clover’s good luck semblance. It is a harmony more difficult to reach, but it is a more stable and genuine one.

It is these kinds of bonds Qrow should aim to create. In order to do so, he must accept his semblance and his past as parts of themselves. Still, he should not let them define him. Not only that, but he should learn to trust others and their strengths:

Qrow: Ruby, stop!

Ruby: I need you to trust me.

Only in this way, Qrow can truly grow. The secret is that it was never about scaring the crows away, but to learn how to live with them.

HUGIN THAT RUNS AWAY AND MUNIN THAT MAKES EVERYONE WORRIED

Raven and Qrow’s issues can be synthesized by this quote:

"Hugin and Munin fly each day over the spacious earth. I fear for Hugin, that he come not back, yet more anxious am I for Munin."

Raven never comes back, while Qrow has his loved ones fear for him because of his self-destructive tendencies.

In order to overcome these flaws, they must grow in opposite directions.

Raven must realize that her survivalism is actually self-destructive. It makes her survive, but it negates her the chance of living. She must become more selfless and trustworthy to make it up for the unfair bonds she created.

Qrow must accept that his self-destructiveness is actually selfish and damaging to his loved ones. He must start to trust others’ strengths, so that he can be brave enough to live together with them, instead of looking at them from afar.