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imagineddworld · 3 years

Text

FBI training (Part 1)

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Summary: The reader is the child of the two most skilled FBI agents of the States. At the FBI training she is paired up with a very determent young man who always finds a way to trouble her.

Author’s note: I tried to make it as genderneutral as possible. But at some point there is a small implication that the reader could be female and their roommate could be male. But further than that, there is no specifications of gender.

This is going to be a multiple part fic. The first part already took me way too long to write. So I apologize in advance if the next parts will take long to write too. I will try to finish them as quickly as I can.

Words: 3k (3084)

On the most important day of your life, running late was not one of the things you had planned for. But seen how impulsive your roommate could be, it wasn’t out of the ordinary for them to mess up your schedule. They had stolen all your alarm clocks at night for some stupid experiment. Yes, you owned multiple. Normally you used your phone as an alarm. But after a couple mishaps caused by your roommate, you couldn’t put all your trust entirely on electronic devises. So you had bought an old-fashioned alarm clock that still ran on batteries, just in case something were to happen to your phone. But even that clock had been ruined many times. So from that moment on you always had some spare clocks hidden in your room, just in case.

That they had found all your spare clocks wasn’t too surprising, seen that they weren’t hidden very well. What did shock you was that they hadn’t woken you up by their wild scavenger hunt. You were a light sleeper, even the smallest of noises could shake you out of your deep rest. That’s why you wore earbuds to bed, including that particular night. They often didn’t muffle the sounds enough, surely not during an experiment. Your roommate tend to forget about their surroundings as they start one, getting lost in their passion. You had awoken countless of times to the sound of falling objects, happy laughter, mumbles of rambling thoughts, excited jumping, soft sobbing and frequently a loud whine or groan. By now it was a normal occurrence. But of course, on that night the earbuds had done their job, cancelling out all the noise from the nightly events.

The evening before, everything had gone smoothly. Too smoothly. You were supposed to suspect something, but your intuition had failed you due to the overwhelming amounts of emotions that threw you out of balance. There always had to be a bump in the road. Nothing ever went entirely good. You had excitedly packed your backpack, leaving out a book to read before you went to bed. Next you picked out your outfit for the morning, neatly placing it on top of your wooden desk. Making that decision the day before took away a part of the unwanted stress to your already overflowing anxiety-filled body. Not that picking an outfit for the FBI Academy would be hard. They had a strict dress code. Everyone had to wear a white button up, tie being an optional choice. What you wore as bottoms also was a free choice, but they had to be formal and needed to show off professionalism.

Before you had changed into a big T-shirt and some sleeping shorts, you checked over your backpack and outfit; making sure you hadn’t forgotten anything. After double checking 3 times, you continued your night ‘routine’. (Your days never looked the same, so you couldn’t really call it a routine.) You washed your face and brushed your teeth, bidding your roommate goodnight as you passed by their room. Once in your room again, you placed your phone on the nightstand, making sure it’s charging for the night. Next you grabbed your earbuds, securing them in your ears before climbing into bed. While you sank into the pile of soft pillows, a mixture of emotions overwhelmed you. Excitement and anxiety had boiled up in your body throughout the whole week. But only now did they leave a tight, crushing feeling in your chest. None the less, sleep soon overtook your senses, greeting you with a peaceful night full of dreams.

As soon as your eyes closed, your luck decided to no longer be on your side. A default in your roommate’s experiment had caused a huge black-out in your building. The electricity had been out all night, resulting in your phone being dead as you awoke the next morning. Usually you could have trusted on your spare alarms, but those were also destroyed in the process of the experiment. That left you with no alarms to wake up to , therefore ending up being late.

What actually had woken you up was the harsh light shining through your thin drapes. It immediately triggered a huge wave of panic to drown, stealing all the air from your longes. Your eyes shot to the analogue clock that hung on your wall, cursing loudly as you read the time. You quickly jumped out of bed, stumbling through your room in a hurried state. At a rapid speed you pulled your clothes on, washed your face, brushed your teeth, tamed your wild bed-hair and desperately tried to make yourself look presentable in the little time you had. You ran back to your room to grab your backpack and the book you were supposed to read last night. Next you made your way over to the small kitchen, taking an apple from the fruit bowl. As you stuffed it into your backpack, you placed your book onto the table. While doing so, your eyes caught sight of your roommate sleeping with their head onto the cold surface. They were surrounded by your broken alarm clocks, pieces scattered everywhere. You couldn’t resist the urge to hit them against the head with your book. Not too hard of course, but hard enough to make any impact. They jumped awake, nearly falling off their chair. ‘Next time wake me up’, you said referring to their failed experiment, ‘Surely when you steal all my alarm clocks.’ You continued rushing to the front door, shoving your book in your backpack as well. They mumbled a small apology. ‘Usually you wake up way before your alarm’, their voice was groggy and quiet. While putting on your shoes you shouted your reply: ‘Not when I haven’t slept less than 6 hours in the past 5 days.’ Another apology followed, but you payed no mind to it. You shut the door behind you with a rather loud thud. You deeply breathed in and out before starting your run towards campus. The interaction hadn’t been in a mean manner or a sign of anyone being upset at the other. It was just your panicked, anxiety filled state being in need to rush, while they had their brain still filled with the morning fog.

The reason why you barely had closed your eyes in the past 5 days, was because you were helping your parents who had stumbled upon a cruel twist in their rather difficult case. You couldn’t stand to just watch them suffer, so you pulled a few all-nighters with them until you solved most of the hard parts. The feeling of being able to solve such a thing, made it all worth it. None the less, it still had left you exhausted and drained.

---

To your surprise you had made it in time. You had ran your way to campus, underestimating how far the distance actually was. You tried to catch your breath as you quickly checked your watch. You had 8 minutes till your class started. It was a little late for your liking, knowing how important punctuality is to them, but it would do. You lightly jogged through the halls as you looked at the map of the building that was supposed to guide you through the maze like structure. Even if you had been there plenty of times before in your life, it still was a confusing structure that didn’t want to stick in your head.

Your mind was too occupied with other things, completely forgetting about your surroundings. So, it was only logical for you to run into a person. The impact of bumping into their harsh chest made you stumble back the slightest bit, but you were able to quickly steady yourself like nothing had happened. Before you could look at the damage you had done, a high pitched voice cracked out a long ‘noo’. In front of you stood a tall, raven-haired man with warm brown eyes. He was looking at the huge coffee stain on his white button while holding his empty coffee cup in his other hand. In the mean while you had gotten distracted by his beauty. You noticed small birthmarks littering his pale skin, resembling little constellations being spread out in the night sky.

The string of curse words leaving his lips pulled you out of your fazed out state. You had accidentally been checking out this exceptionally beautiful man, who hopefully hadn’t noticed anything of it. It would be highly inappropriate and quite uncomfortable. Luckily for you his eyes were still on the huge coffee stain. ‘Oh, I’m so sorry’, you stammered out, immediately moving into action. You swung you backpack to the front, rumbling through your stuff in order to find the spare shirt you had stolen from your roommate. They didn’t mind. You were clumsy by nature and had to lend their clothes on plenty occasions. Neither was it your first time to ever ruin someone’s clothes, so you always tried to be prepared for moments like this.

The man continued to angrily mumble to himself, clearly stressing out. He failed to notice the shirt you had offered to him, until you spoke up. ‘Here’, you offered him a polite smile as his head shot up at a fast pace. You were met with a confused look being plastered over his face. Assuming what his next statement would be, you answered before he could open his mouth. ‘It’s a men’s medium.’ As his facial expression didn’t change, you huffed out an annoyed sigh. He seemed to have trouble connecting the dots. He just had to accept the shirt, that’s all. You couldn’t lose any more time, surely not by a stupid encounter. ‘Take it or go in with a huge stain, it’s your choice’, you stated with annoyance clearly noticeable in your voice, while trying to continue your kind demeanor. You dropped the shirt into his hands. ‘If I were you I would change quickly’, you said over your shoulder before turning the corner that lead you to your final destination.

You had made it just in time. The classroom already filled with students. You quickly sat down at one of the tables that still had an empty spot. On your left sat a nice looking girl with her hair tied up in a tight ponytail. She offered you a kind smile that faded into a mean scowl only seconds later. Would she have recognized you? Did she knew who you were?

You were the child of two of the most skilled FBI agents of the States. They were top of their field and greatly respected by most people. Seen you family (who all worked in similar fields) were so well known, it was only logical that you also would gain the attention from outsiders. But that also caused them to make wrong assumptions about you. They were often too stubborn to see the truth or didn’t even want to take the chance to get to know you. They just thought you were an arrogant, ego-centric, selfish child who was spoiled to dead and never had to work a day in their life. They thought you were in dire need to constantly get all the attention. They expected you to think highly about yourself while looking down on others, therefore also expecting you to be condescending towards them. Your parents had tried to prepare you for this. Not everyone is going to like you or take their time to get to know you before voicing their opinions about you. In this field, and similar fields, professional jealousy was very common. It made people act in vile ways. You feared this was going to happen in your training.

You sat in your chair with a scared heart while anxiously tapping your pencil against the desk. The supervisor was reading names of a list, but your mind drowned his voice out due to your excessive worrying. It all went smoothly, until he tumbled over a particular hard name. ‘Mie-Mic...’, the poor man looked questionably at his paper, desperate to pronounce the name correctly. As on cue the boy from earlier came to stand into the doorframe. His stained shirt was replaced by yours, fitting him just a tad bit too tightly. It showed off his muscular body even more. ‘Miecsyslaw Stilinski, sir... But most people call me Stiles.’ His voice was lower this time, but still clearly with with raging anxiety. Hearing his name roll of his tongue so smoothly made an alarm go off in your head. It sounded oddly familiar. Surely the nickname ‘Stiles’ had triggered a vague memory to resurface in your head. You just couldn’t figure out any of the details. It was like an itch you couldn’t scratch.

The supervisor looked sternly at the new boy with an unimpressed look on his face. His eyes examined him, clearly judging his appearance. ‘Ah, I see. Well, next time be on time .. and dress appropriately. You don’t need to try showing off your pretentious muscles, it doesn’t suit you.’ That comment made you feel even more guilty. It was your fault he was late and had to dress in a too tight shirt. He apologized with his eyes faintly focusing on something behind the supervisor, before they quickly went to you in order to shoot you a nasty glare. You returned an apologetic smile that didn’t help much with the current situation. He continued to hold eye contact with you until the man’s voice filled the room again. ‘Now take a seat will you’, the annoyance was clear as day. His eyes left yours for a split second as he came to action, stumbling his way towards the empty chair that just happened to be to your right. As he passed by, still holding intense eye contact with you, his faint but sweet cologne filled your nose. A scent that later on would distractingly infiltrate your nose, no matter how much you tried to focus on something else.

You were pulled out of your trance again when an excited voice filled your ears. ‘(Y/N)(Y/L/N), what a surprise to see you here. What could we possibly teach you? You already know everything and are following your parents footsteps flawlessly.’ Your cheeks reddened at his praising comment. The other students immediately glared at you, envying how sweet he acted towards you. Towards the others he had been cold and distant, whereas now he was talking highly about you. A big difference that everyone easily noticed. The room immediately was filled with a strong uncomfortable tension that reeked of jealousy.

The main reason for his kind demeanor towards you was because you already knew each other. Your parents often visited the Academy, helping with the development of new tasks or other improvements. Other times he visited you at home. He had seen you grow into the person you are today. His bond with you could be considered as a familiar one, or at least close to. So that explained. his fondness of you. The other reason for his praising was the status of your parents. It would be a shame on him and the Academy to talk down on or disrespect your family or you in any way. Besides the great help they provided for the Academy, they also were one of their sponsors. You just hoped that they wouldn’t use this to your advantage by treating you differently and more highly. You wanted to be given a fair chance. If they were going to train you without fairly criticizing you out of fear of disrespecting your family’s name, then this whole thing would be a waste of time.

‘Well, everyone is equal to the law. It’s one of the requirements we all need to go through to become an FBI agent. No matter how experienced or inexperienced we are, we all deserve to be treated equally’, you said timidly, trying not to sound overly confident or condescending towards others. You gave the supervisor a timid but kind smile while trying to avoid the burning glares. You didn’t want to go any deeper into the subject.

Seen that you were a child of the two top FBI agents of the states, meant that you had been trained to follow their footsteps from a very young age. As a baby you were given a lot of puzzles and stimulants to train your senses. At the age of 3 the tasks started to be more difficult and challenging. At your 5 the training started to become serious. When you were 12 you already were allowed to help with smaller cases. At 16 you were actively helping them with all types of cases. Both your parents had gone through the same training, seen that their fathers also had been top FBI agents. At this point the training had become some sort of tradition in your family. Most of the people in your family had underwent similar trainings, as they all worked in similar fields. They varied from FBI agents, cops, sherifs, detectives to medical helpers such as nurses, doctors, firemen,...

The supervisor laughed at your comment. ‘I’m sure you’ll graduate without any trouble. It’ll be an easy game for you. Even in your sleep you’ll still be top of the class.’ Again, you shoot him an awkward but polite smile, being uncomfortable by the amount of praising he has done. It was overwhelming and placing you in a hard position. ‘That depends on how hard you make the tasks’, your timid voice became even more quiet as the mean glares had intensified. ‘Always so humble. Just like your parents.’ With that statement he ended his long praising session.

As he continued his speech of the importance of this training, you let out a deep sigh. You had turned impossibly bright, your face burning from embarrassment. Without intending to, he had put you as a target for everyone to hate on. He made you seem like the enemy that everyone had to fear. He had thrown tons of gasoline on the burning fire of jealousy. Your future colleagues saw you as the one thing that would stand in their way of becoming a FBI agent, something that would withhold them from their dream. If there wasn’t going to be rough play already, there sure would be now. This was going to be a rougher year than you had anticipated. You were already dreading the next day to come.

-To be continued-

#stiles stilinski #stiles stilinksi imagine #stiles stilinski x reader #stiles x reader #teenwolf imagine #teenwolf #teen wolf #teen wolf imagine #stiles teen wolf #stiles imagine #stiles stilinski fluff #stiles fluff #teenwolf fluff #teen wolf fluff

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bookwormsid1015 · 3 years

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Operation: Baby Talk [1/3]

Hizashi pounds his fist against the mahogany door rapidly while Shouta and Oboro stand behind him, Shouta with his standard bored expression and Oboro with shifting, anxious feet. Beside them, a small white cloud floats drowsily with a small grocery bag full of chili bean soup and medicine inside it.

Unlike the three boys, Nemuri is already living alone in a small apartment complex a few streets away from UA High School, working two jobs to keep up with rent and her own chaotic interests. Although her independence gives them a great place to hang out to play video games on weekends, it also draws most of her attention away from them most of the week. Despite this, Nemuri has always been a punctual, upstanding student who turns in her homework on time and always makes room for friends. Nothing has ever stopped her before, and it still amazes Oboro to see her act like such an… adult.

Bottom line: Nemuri is a busy bee and it’s not uncommon to not see her for days on end. What is uncommon, however, is discovering she hasn’t been at school or internship for the past three days and apparently called off work for the next two weeks.

This knowledge has been bothering Oboro nonstop. Is she okay? Did she get hurt while on patrol with His Purple Highness? Did she get sick? Is she all alone? Her parents live in Saitama Prefecture, a whole three hours away from Musutafu. If she is sick, knowing Nemuri and her stupid habit of hoarding her burdens to herself, she didn’t tell them or anyone else. Oboro knows for a fact she didn’t tell him, Shouta or Hizashi; the only reason they know of her strange absence was through Iida Tensei, who Oboro shares his math class with.

“Oh, she called His Purple Highness and told him something came up and that she wouldn’t be coming in for a while,” Iida had told him casually. “Why? She didn’t tell you?”

It pissed Shouta and Hizashi off that Nemuri wouldn’t let them-- her best friends-- know about her getting sick, but it just worried Oboro. It took a lot of convincing, but he managed to drag them with him to the local grocery store, grab Nemuri her favorite soup and some medicine, and come all the way over here. Shouta and Hizashi kept on glancing at Oboro strangely and whispering to each other, but Oboro doesn’t understand why they would act so weird about it. He’s Nemuri’s friend! Friends are supposed to look out for each other, right?

“Nemuriiii!” Hizashi shouts through the door between rapid knocking. “I know you’re in there, I can smell hoe for miles! Open up the mcfuckin’ dooooorrr!”

Shouta lifts an unamused eyebrow at Hizashi. “Dude, what the fuck?” he deadpans, and Hizashi glares at the ravenette from over his shoulder.

“We’re friends! I’m allowed to call her a hoe.” Hizashi turns back to the door. “Nemuri! Open the DOOR!” He emphasizes “door” with a high pitched shriek, and Oboro shoves his palm into his face to stifle his snorts.

“You guys are both assholes,” Shouta grumbles, though it’s obvious he’s smiling.

The door swings open in a quick arc that slams into Hizashi’s forehead with a comical bonk. Nemuri is standing in the doorway, clad in her pajamas with baggy pink sweatpants and a white tank top with spaghetti straps. Her red glasses sit on the bridge of her nose, her deep indigo hair tied up into a short messy bun atop her head, and her tired blue eyes glare at the boys with exhausted irritation. Seeing Nemuri without her usual playful smile is surprising in and of itself, but Oboro’s sky blue eyes widen at what she’s holding against her chest with one arm.

A small baby dressed in a cute little sailor suit is leaning into her chest, snoozing quietly with one thumb in his mouth. He looks like the splitting image of Nemuri, with a matching mole under his right eye and pale skin. The only thing that differs from her is the baby’s hairstyle, which is short and curly.

Nemuri releases the door knob and readjusts her grip on the baby, still glaring at the boys. “What the fuck, guys? You couldn’t even call in advance?” she hisses at them.

Shouta and Hizashi stare between Nemuri and the baby, speechless, while Oboro’s brain turns like slow moving gears. After a solid three seconds, he suddenly utters a horrified gasp that attracts the eyes of all three friends. “Nemuri! You were pregnant?!” he shrieks.

The accusation breaks the shocked spell in an instant, and suddenly Hizashi is lying flat on his ass, howling with laughter. Even Shouta ducks his face away, trying to stifle his giggles; Nemuri narrows her eyes at Oboro pointedly.

“Oh yeah, I got pregnant and gave birth in three days. Of course I wasn’t pregnant, dipshit.” Nemuri readjusts her grip on the baby again, holding him up a little higher. “This is my older sister’s kid. Say hello to baby Haito, everyone.”

Not knowing what else to do, everyone waves at the little baby, and the baby lifts his head drowsily. When he opens his eyes, Oboro is surprised to find the baby’s eyes are a light blue that matches the hue of the sky above, with faint freckles dusting over his cheeks. Upon seeing the newcomers, the baby fusses anxiously and buries his face in Nemuri’s bust.

Nemuri’s attitude changes in an instant, from tired and angry to worried and tender. She lifts one hand to gently pat the baby’s back and she rocks him from side to side. “Shh, shh, shh. It’s okay Haito-baby. It’s okay. Auntie Nemi’s here. You’re safe with me,” she coos into his hair, and the baby’s whines quiet down. Her voice is so soft and gentle it warms Oboro’s heart just by hearing it, and he can tell Hizashi and Shouta are just as shocked by her motherly tone.

After the baby quiets down, Nemuri lifts her head to peer at her friends, suddenly tired all over again. “Sorry for being a bitch, guys. My sister and her boyfriend had to go abroad for some job interview in South Korea, and since my parents think her boyfriend is a deadbeat, they want nothing to do with him or the baby. So she gave Haito to me,” Nemuri explains, punctuating her words with a tired sigh. “I’ve had, like, no sleep for the past three days. Damn… and my rent’s due next Thursday…”

Shouta and Hizashi look between themselves, unsure of how to react. Only Oboro is willing to meet Nemuri’s eyes, and worry pangs to life in his chest at the dark bags under her eyes. “When will they be back?” he asks her.

“Hm? In about two weeks, I think,” she says, and Oboro can almost feel her invisible walls rising, guarding her from their worry. “Don’t worry, guys. I’m fine. I’ve pulled all-nighters before, this is nothing.”

“You weren’t taking care of someone’s kid, though,” Oboro gently protests. “Have you been eating anything? Anything at all?”

Nemuri pries her eyes away from his concerned stare. “I had a protein shake yesterday,” she replies stiffly.

Oboro’s brows lower into a frown. “For breakfast or dinner?” he presses.

Nemuri sighs. “Breakfast…” she mutters in response, then quickly shakes her head as a wobbly smile forces its way onto her lips. “It’s nothing. I mean it. You guys don’t have to worry about me.”

Oboro is already shaking his head. “That’s bullshit,” he tells her, and when he sees her shoulders haunching defensively, he quickly adds, “I know you can take care of yourself, but as your friend, I still worry about you. I mean, look at you! You look like you could pass out any second now!”

“I’m fine,” she replies, her tone harder this time.

Oboro stares at her incredulously. Why can’t she just let them help for once? She has it in her mind that she has to be the strong one, the responsible one. Why can’t she see that she’s a kid just like the rest of them? It frustrates him to no end, yet in the depths of his exasperation, an epiphany comes to mind.

“Why don’t I help you take care of him?” he offers, and his friends’ eyes fall on him in surprise.

“You? Help me? Take care of… a baby?” Nemuri echoes, her words slow and meticulous as if she were taking her time tasting a treat, figuring out whether she liked it or not. She glances down at the baby in her arms, then to the small cloud floating beside the taller boy, eyeing the small grocery bag full of medicine in particular. Oboro has never seen her look so… anxious before.

Assuming she’s just not used to being offered help, Oboro goes on cheerfully, “Yeah! I have a little brother, remember? I’m a pro at babysitting!” Something about his words is bothering him, the reason flapping seamlessly in the back of his mind, though Oboro can’t pin down why. He just smiles joyfully at her, hoping his smile is convincing enough.

Finally, Nemuri sighs. “Come around six tonight,” she tells him, her tone strange. “Haito usually gets fussy around dinner time.”

Oboro flashes her a thumbs up. “Bet!” he cheers.

Nemuri smiles at him, and Oboro’s heart gives an unexpected beat; somehow it feels different from her usual broad, gleaming smiles. He doesn’t have enough time to decipher it before Nemuri quickly bids them goodbye and closes the door, disappearing back into her apartment.

A long beat of silence passes between them, and Oboro doesn’t dare move his eyes away from the front door. He can feel the hot stares of Shouta and Hizashi on his back, pinning him in place like a butterfly on a bulletin board.

“Holy fucking shit. Did you just…?” Suddenly, Hizashi’s face splits apart into a bright smile, and he latches his arms around Oboro’s to shake rapidly. “Dude, I can’t believe you did that! You’re so smooth!”

Oboro blinks at him owlishly, still not comprehending what just happened. The flapping in the back of his mind is deafening, now. “Eh? What’d I do?” he asks.

Hizashi laughs loudly. “Don’t play coy with me, bro! You totally went, ‘fear not, my love. Even if this child is not mine, I shall support both you and the baby!’ That was so domestic it made me blush!” he squeals.

The puzzle pieces finally fit together in his brain, and a blush hits him with the speed of an oncoming train. Suddenly, he remembers the faint blush on her cheeks, and the tender pull of her smile. Although Nemuri is the type of person to extend a helping hand out to anyone in need, she rarely accepts help from anyone else. In spite of that, she’s letting him help her with taking care of her sister’s baby?

Oboro has no idea what expression is on his face right now.

“Oboro.” Shouta’s stern voice reaches his ears, grounding him before his brain could float into the sky like a balloon. He slowly turns to face the ravenette, and finds Shouta watching him with dark, serious eyes. “Do you have any idea what you just did?” he asks, his tone flat.

Oboro blinks slowly, his brain slow and muddled yet filled with thoughts moving at the speed of light. “I… said I’d help wit’ da baby…” he murmurs dumbly, the words feeling alien on his tongue. Shouta sighs.

The trio finally gather their wits and begin walking away from Nemuri’s doorstep. Oboro is suddenly thankful her apartment is on the first floor; he doesn’t think he has the motor skills to walk down stairs right now. “I know you said you have a little brother, but it’s been seven years since you had to change a diaper. Do you think you can handle this?” Shouta asks the taller boy, and Oboro wrings his hands together tightly.

“I mean, yeah, why not?” he replies, more so to convince himself. “Between me and Nemuri, how hard can it be?”

#Bnha #Bnha Vigilantes #Mha #Kayama Nemuri #Shirakumo Oboro #Aizawa Shouta #Yamada Hizashi #Shirakumo Oboro x Kayama Nemuri #CloudNight #Shirayama #Bnha Midnight #Loud Cloud #Eraserhead #Present Mic #Haha fuckers I told you I won't let this ship die

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adonis-koo · 5 years

Text

tease

| 6 |

↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,

Word count: 13.8k

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// Playlist //

Song mood

Tags: Heavy petting, excessive foreplay, Jungkook reveals his daddy kink, nobody is surprised, mild sub/dom play, dirty talk, light spanking,

Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter presents them.

TW: Sexual harassment and attempted rape are mentioned and referenced in this chapter please read with caution if these are triggers for you <3

Sitting awake in your bed, with a tightly clasped phone and an angry expression, this was not how you wanted to start your day. What was his problem? You didn’t mean to offend him- but it didn’t seem like the Jungkook you knew would’ve took it like a personal attack, why was he acting like such a jerk?

Squeezing your phone you groaned roughly rubbing your eyes, well aware of the dark circles plaguing them from your all nighter, you were already tired you really didn’t need this added on top of your building list of stressful things. With in the short span of Jungkook you had never caught him in a bad mood before and this had thrown you for a loop more than you wanted to admit, briefly you thought about just missing practice altogether for some much needed sleep but you remembered the show you had tonight.

Flopping down you groaned louder as you shoved your pillow into your head, you’d have to practice for tonight in order to not spazz out meaning you’d definitely have to go, finally after coming to terms with the fact you pulled yourself out of bed before showering and getting ready.

You couldn’t get the conversation you shared with Jungkook out of your head though the entire walk to work, what had you done to warrant such a reaction from him?

You cycled through your memories before stopping at the spat he had with Hanjae, he did seem extremely broody when you left him behind, but he was fine with you at work...No- he wasn’t actually- if you were correct in remembering his brief glare on you. But he up until that point understood your weariness and respected that it was your choice.

He wouldn’t change his mind on it, right? All of your thoughts and brainstorming lead to nothing but dead ends and by the time you got to Cherry Bomb your eyes were tired and your brain near dead from too many thoughts between finishing your thesis, the lack of sleep and now having to figure out why Jungkook had been so harsh with you.

You didn’t want to say his comment on you acting like a kid hurt, but it did. It was something you were already insecure about due to other people, and he probably didn’t even know that, but still. It hurt. You swallowed your sensitivity as you pushed the doors to Cherry Bomb open, remembering your silent vow to thicken your skin.

You didn’t think you’d ever have to start by ignoring Jungkook’s hurtful comment, but here you were pushing it to the back of your mind.

The sting was still evident though, surely he knew how much his opinion of you affected you, you could feel your hands beginning to quiver only to tighten them against the strap of your bag, it was too early in the morning and you were too tired for so many emotions overrunning your whole body.

You were anything but a soda drinker, but at the moment your body needed the caffeine to stave from crashing to the ground in exhaustion forcing you to swallow the bubbly liquid like it was your life line. Taehyung had bedhead and a pretty brunette sat on the stool beside you as he began stocking up alcohol behind the counter, his gaze staying on you briefly before he frowned, “You look tired Y/n.”

“I am,” You groaned, collapsing your upper body on the counter as you sighed, “I had to stay up to finish a thesis for one of my classes today, I feel like total garbage and to boot Jungkook’s been such an ass this morning.”

You could hear Taehyung snort a laugh despite his apologetic tone, “Sorry- That sounds awful, but what’s up with Jungkook? He looked really broody this morning when he came in.” He seemed a little curious as he continued putting bottles up onto the high shelf.

“I don’t know,” You sighed, resting your head against your arms as you traced patterns against the cold granite countertop leaving a brisk nip against your open skin, “It’s honestly stupid- I tried to apologize but he brushed me off…”

The brunette frowned sympathetically at you and given how smiley she had been around Taehyung, you could easily take a guess in assuming this was his love Yeri who gave you a gentle smile, “You’re Y/n right? His trainee? He’s always been a hot and cold guy so it can come in phases...he was the same way about me for a long time,” She shifted a little in discomfort at her own words before she hummed, “But he’ll come around, he always does- I’m Yeri by the way.” She let out a small sheepish laugh as if realizing she didn’t introduce herself.

“Oh I figured as much,” You returned her smile, looking a little more tired and less bright in the eyes as her before your expression slowly melted into a frown, “I hope so, I know we haven’t known each other long but I’ve never seen him like this before, it just feels so out of character.” Yeri gently rubbed your back as soothingly as she could as she frowned delicately, pity in her eyes at your exhausted figure, you must’ve looked liked a kicked puppy, you honestly felt like one too…

“No Yeri’s right, he goes through phases and tends to isolate himself at times. I’ll warn you Y/n,” Taehyung frowned as he picked up the bottle of gin, “Jungkook bites as hard as he loves, don’t push him to talk too much or else he’s gonna push back. Just give him some time, everything will be okay.” He gave you a sweet boxy smile in encouragement as you sighed, nodding at his words before hearing Jimin call all of the fillers to start up on the days practice. Getting up from your spot you dragged your dead body to the back of the room as usual.

Today had been particularly miserable, Chan Hee wouldn’t stop passing snide comments your way and your water bottle seemed to magically be replaced with pure vodka, as if things weren’t hard enough you had also received three texts from Hanjae demanding to see you soon to talk. Everyone seemed unable to leave you alone- except for the one person you had been hoping to talk too. Time had passed too fast and it was already 9:45- well past the time Jungkook usually picked you up from the main room.

Should you go back on your own? You still didn’t feel one hundred percent comfortable walking back on your own unless Jungkook specifically stated you needed too and he hadn’t even greeted you this morning like he usually did before he went back to practice on his own. Should you send him a text? Worry was beginning to gnaw in your stomach and you couldn’t keep yourself from fidgeting, you didn’t like being on bad terms with Jungkook, it left you feeling both empty and anxious at the same time with a bitter twinge of the last memory you spoke.

You were never one to hold a grudge for long- if at all. He could call you childish all he wanted- you were used to it by now anyways, you just wished he’d tell you what the problem was, what had you explicitly said that set him off? But in the end, if he wasn’t even going to accept your apology, you supposed it was useless. You glanced at the hallway again, feeling a twist of hurt bubbling in your stomach as you glanced back at your phone, one text wouldn’t hurt, right?

You could barely seen your screen as droplets of tears pattered against your phone, you told yourself you weren’t going to cry! But you couldn’t stop the sniffle from escaping you at how cold his words were. What could you have done to make him like this? You didn’t deserve this kind of treatment furthermore no matter what you did. Why couldn’t he just talk to you?

“Guess we know who finally dropped the little baby,” Chan Hee stood in front of you, her voice going higher in a mocking baby tone as she snorted a laugh, “What did you expect? Someone like Jungkook would never waste his time on a girl like you. Might as well start packing up now.” You opened your mouth but all your lips did was quiver as more tears dripped down your face causing her to laugh again. You must’ve looked pathetic.

Chan Hee’s words were just salt on an already open wound, maybe she was right, he clearly wasn’t about to waste his time on a single word you had too say, his curt, cold message was clear of that.

Rubbing your eyes you intended to ignore her until the familiar Nike shoes of Seulgi came into view, “Fuck off you dirty fiend, don’t you have another girls life force to feed off of?” She instantly wrapped her arm around you defensively as she gritted her teeth.

Chan Hee only rose her brows before laughing, “Keep your bitch on it’s leesh L/n.” She said nothing more before whipping around and sauntering away. Seulgi looked ready to pummel her into next week but stopped at your sniffling before her expression crumbled.

“Is it Jungkook?” She asked frowning, three words and another sob broke from your lips and your vision of your blurred again as you closed your eyes defeatedly while nodding, “Awwh don’t cry Y/n, I’m sure he’s just having a bad day, have you tried texting him?”

You nodded trying to muffle your sobs as you noticed people beginning to glance your way, the last place you wanted to cry your eyes out was in the main room of Cherry Bomb in front of dozens of fillers, “He said we’d talk later,” You tried to calm your breathing by inhaling slowly, forcing the bubbling of your cries down your throat before swallowing thickly, “I can’t force him to talk Seulgi, I think...I think I’m just gonna head home, I need to get some rest before class today.” You wiped your eyes as she sent you a look of pity while frowning.

Giving your shoulder a squeeze she nodded, “Get some rest babe you need it after today, see you tonight?” She asked a little hesitant, as if unsure if she’d see for work. And as much as you wanted to just take the whole day off, life went on and you were being dragged along for the ride, you really needed the money tonight and you’d be not only depressed, but also broke if you decided to stay in, “Yeah, I’ll see you tonight.” You nodded before giving her one last look and heading out the door.

Could today get any worse?

“Now just step forward, it’s important you keep your weight on your standing foot so when you go to turn your working leg in it’s a lot sharper and gives a more clean look,” You demonstrated, turning your left leg towards you before turning it out once more. Both Namjoon and Seokjin looked utterly adorable as they studied your position, as if taking mental notes before trying it themselves.

Relaxing from your position you nodded as you watched them give it a couple of tries before smiling, “See! It’s not that difficult, it just takes practice to get the movement, can we play it with the music so I can watch?” You laughed at both of their grimaces before Seokjin groaned and nodded. Taking a seat by the mirror you pulled out your phone before turning on the music, watching them work on the combination again, Namjoon had gotten off count and Seokjin was still struggling with his foot placing but you couldn’t help but beam with pride, they were such quick learners and hard workers! If they kept up the good work they’d be great in no time at all.

They were near out of breath by the time they finished the combination but you were already up on your feet excitedly clapping your hands as you grinned wide, “Awesome job guys! I know it feels like you aren’t doing well but you really are! Results just take time to see, like anything else.”

“I don’t know how you have the energy to do this every day on top of work and practice.” Namjoon admitted as he took a drink from his water bottle, wiping the sweat from his brow as you gave a small laugh, tugging on the strands of your ponytail as you shrugged. It was taxing but after so long your body had eventually got used to the demanding hours dance took.

Adding stripping into the mix and extra practice for that threw your body for a loop, not used to giving even more energy and admittedly your feet had been tired and sore from being on the go for so long especially with the heels you wore for work.

“You get used to it after so long,” You offered a small smile before shrugging, “Trying to get used to work is the more difficult part for me, but I’m surviving…” Your smile melted at the thought of Jungkook before sighing, you still hadn’t heard from him the rest of the day and currently you had just finished up your own practice with Namjoon and Seokjin, who had came by after your own rehearsal and planned on heading to work from the studio together.

Both Seokjin and Namjoon exchanged glances before giving you sympathetic looks of their own before Namjoon spoke up, “Don’t take it to heart Y/n, Jungkook is just going through the motions right now, I tried telling him to not give you the cold shoulder but he brushed me off this morning, he can be a stubborn ass when he wants to be.”

You tried to keep your lips from not quivering but the idea was upsetting, so he really was giving you the cold shoulder? You didn’t want to say you were desperate for an answer but you didn’t like being on bad terms with anyone, let alone Jungkook, “What did I do Nam? Why is he so upset?” Your eyes were glossy and pleading as you fiddled with your fingers, letting your gaze drop to the floor as you swallowed back the sob that wanted to filter through your lips.

Namjoon sighed before he ran a hand through his hair, giving you a sad apologetic smile, “It’s really not for me to tell, and even if I wanted too he hasn’t really told anyone what’s going on. He’s just been brooding the whole day, Rosé tried to talk to him but…” He cringed before sighing.

It was Seokjin who spoke up next, his expression a little more irritated as he crossed his arms, “That kid really needs to get it under control, one of these days he’s gonna lose the few people he has left if he keeps acting like this,” He looked a little ruffled but then you remembered Rosé was his trainee once upon a time, a natural protectiveness for the girl was obviously still there even after so long, “Seriously Y/n, Jungkook has a good heart but he has a temper and emotional maturity of a five year old, it’s not an excuse for his behavior but he’ll get over it, he usually does.”

You felt a little better, but you still couldn’t help but be worried. If there was anything you could do to rectify wherever things went wrong with Jungkook you’d do it in a heartbeat. You just wished he’d give you a chance. Seokjin sighed before wrapping an arm around your shoulders, “Come on, we better get to work, I know you’re on stage tonight, right?”

“Well yeah…” You shrugged before frowning as you all exited the studio, Namjoon had been kind enough to pick you up from your apartment and had said he’d be more than happy to drive everyone to work, it was the least he could do considering you were helping them free of charge.

You’d never accept their money though even if they tried, you were all broke in college and even as soloist you had become aware that they were still very particular on how they chose to spend their money. Arriving to Cherry Bomb it was already in full swing, your shift was short today and you weren’t about to complain, you just had a few dances on stage before being able to go home. Your wallet would be crying at the lack of hours but atleast you’d get home a little earlier than normal.

Sitting down at your vanity in the filler room the chatter bounced off the walls and you could feel a few girls passing you stares while talking, you wouldn’t be surprised if you and Jungkook were the topic of Cherry Bomb right now, especially given your embarrassing breakdown earlier that morning. God why did you have to be like this? Pressing the fake lashes on you stood up to start getting changed, you were beginning to get used to the risque lingerie.

The black lace thong that rode up your ass wasn’t as uncomfortable anymore granted you had finally broke down and started wearing thongs more regularly in your day to day attire to try and become more used to the feeling, the tight pushup bra you put on however was still a foreign feeling when all you wore was the opposite every day.

The room had suddenly became a lot more hushed when the door opened, making you furrow your brows as you pulled the skirt up to your waist, turning to look only for your eyes to meet the burning pair that focused only on you.

Jungkook had been talking to Namjoon as his eyes flickered over you, whatever tension he had in his shoulders relaxing but his expression only hardened further before he turned to continue his conversation as if you didn’t exist.

“Yikes.” One of the girls next to your own vanity whispered to her friend before they before sniggered at your expression, forcing your eyes back on your vanity as you swallowed thickly. Refusing to acknowledge the pang of hurt in your chest at his treatment of you as you continued getting dressed.

You’d be on stage in less than ten minutes, your emotions and tears would just have to wait.

Pulling your hair up you took one last deep breath before heading out the door with the rest of your group.

You were on the far left of the stage today and somehow, it made things a bit easier and you didn’t feel as pressured to perform. Stripping- was still a scary thing to do but as soon as you shed your clothes you hadn’t even noticed the dollar bills flying your way, it looked roughly the same as your last dance worth, but hey, twenty could get you not only coffee but a lunch to go with it. You weren’t about to complain.

You could tell your performance wasn’t as sharp today though, the back of your mind was still clouded with Jungkook, who was somewhere out in the crowd sitting with a group of women no doubt keeping them entertained. Scanning through the crowd you finally spotted the two figures you had been hoping would keep their word. The two men from yesterday, the one who had been relentlessly flirting with you had his eyes locked on your figure while his friend- Alex was it? Had been sunk in his seat while glancing towards the floor, his friend occasionally knocking his shoulder as if trying to get him out of his head.

You could tell when someone wasn’t interested in strippers and he definitely was one of them. Stepping off the stage you could feel a plenty of gazes on your near naked figure, you were determined to make an extra tip tonight and at least his friend was up for a lapdance. Hopefully this would go well. You sauntered over to their table instantly perking the flirts attention, you gave them a teasing smile as you waved, tracing the edge of his chair as you circled it, “Thanks for coming, I always love the audience.”

“I’m flattered but my friend could really use a pick-me-up.” He winked at you before jerking his head to his friend, who shifted in his seat, his cheeks a little flushed under the lights and you could instantly tell he wasn’t comfortable with the idea.

Smile you stepped in front of him again as you replied, “I don’t dance for anyone who isn’t comfortable with it.” You explained gently as you began to circle your hips, dropping slowly down into a slut drop to get at eye level with the flirt, “At least let me treat you.” You allowed your hands to stroke up his thighs, his gaze cast over to his friend briefly before laughing.

“Alright you’ve won me over.” Smiling you stood up before placing yourself down into his lap, it was ironic how okay you felt, or maybe it was the mutual consent? You weren’t sure, you hadn’t practiced on lapdancing a whole lot, but there wasn’t a lot too it, right? You assumed you must’ve been doing something right by the way his hands were clenching at his sides, trying to keep from touching you as your hips got to work.

Your cheeks were beginning to get a little hot, especially when you felt the stiff boner in his pants but you didn’t relent. The only thing, that caused you to falter for a split second was when your eyes found your mentor.

He sat a few tables away and even though he was in direct view of you- he had to have seen you. He still refused to look at you, instead he chose to direct his attention on the four women he had been seated with, even going as far as grabbing the hand of the girl he sat by, nipping at her palm before kissing it with a playful wink.

You weren’t hurt at all! You didn’t care! Who said you cared because you definitely didn’t!

You swallow thickly instantly looking away and ignoring the drop in your stomach and the pang that waved through your chest, this was fine! You weren’t together and he had every right to do whatever he wanted with any girl! It wouldn’t be fair of you to act like you were together when you were in fact, separated from your own boyfriend and he was single.

You had just thought maybe…

Pressing your forearms against the man's shoulders you finished your lap dance before the music had come to an end. You felt the band of your panties lifted and the bill set between your skin and the material as you quickly got up, forcing a smile and pushing the gloss in your eyes back, “Thanks for coming gents!”

“Wait,” The flirt instantly stopped you before giving a quick cough, as if not wanting to become too eager, “At least let us buy you a drink?” He offered, looking a little more timid than before as if hoping you wouldn’t reject him.

Giving a small smile you ran a hand through your hair before nodding, “Of course! This was my last dance of the night, let’s head up to the bar.” The flirt had introduced himself as Minjun and apparently his friend Alex- had been a transfer student from America currently attending the university. Of course you had to compliment his fluid Korean, you had assumed he was a foreigner by his name but still, it was impressive when he told you he knew several languages and picked up Korean in only a few years.

Taehyung was practically rooting for you behind the bar, sending you embarrassing thumbs up everytime they both looked away making you scowl at him while Yoongi fixed your drinks.

“So what brings you both to Cherry Bomb? I know most of the times the reason is pretty obvious but…” You clacked your lips before you offered them a smile, “Reasons seemed a bit different today.”

You didn’t want to pry but you couldn’t help but notice the air between the both of them seemed different today, when they interacted with each other compared to the night before.

It was ironic, but people often poured their problems out to you when you sat down and talked to them, it was odd how easy it was to open up to a stripper only there for a paycheck.

Minjun sighed as he shifted in his seat, you instantly noticed Alex glance back towards his drink before slumping again, “He’s been having some girl problems recently, I figured I’d take him here to try and get his mind off of things but...he’s not much of a club guy if you couldn’t tell.” He laughed a little, somewhat affectionately as if he were his little brother. They were obviously very close.

“Well it takes one to know one,” You replied gently before giving a soft laugh of your own, offering a small smile to Alex as if understanding his pain, “Like I said before, I’m actually not into clubs, especially now considering I work at one.” Your smile turned a little more shy as you traced the rim of your glass, noticing Minjun’s frown at his phone before he sighed, his brows pressed together in mild worry before giving you an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry but I’m going to have to go, my little sister is having her own relationship problems.” You laughed at his wording before nodding, telling him it was more than okay before he paid the tab and made his way to the exit of the club, leaving you and Alex sitting alone.

Giving a sigh your expression turned more soft at the poor guy as you frowned, “I’m sorry about last night, I know what it feels like- trust me. Anyways, that was my last dance of the night so I’m gonna head off.” You got up from your seat intending to make your way to the staff area before Alex suddenly perked up.

“W-wait!” He fumbled out almost a little desperate, as if your previous words stirred something inside him, turning around you raised your brows at his abrupt call, his cheeks flushed again as if realizing it himself but he continued to fumble, “C-can I buy you for the night?” Your lips parted at his words before he realized just what that sounded like, “Not..not like that I mean…” He ran a hand through his hair before muttering something in english, “Uh- I just need an outside opinion on the situation and I know strippers are never free and being a therapist really isn’t your job but…” He trailed off at the sound of your laugh.

Smiling brightly you couldn’t help but let your expression soften again as you nodded, “Of course, tell you what. There’s an amazing takeout japanese place close to here that runs 24/7, let me go get changed and we can get something to eat there and talk, sound good?” He nodded rapidly, giving a relieved smile as he relaxed a little, letting you go to get changed as he waited by the bar.

Pulling on the sports bra and loose tank top you hadn’t packed anything except sweatpants and given it was almost three in the morning you were sure Alex wouldn’t mind the informality, that and he had seen you almost completely naked, that probably helped in its own way. You grabbed your bag before making your way back out to the bar where Alex stood, money in hand as he gave it to you.

“Alright, let’s go.” You grabbed his forearm with an encouraging smile as you led him out of Cherry Bomb, the air was nice and cool against your skin, making you realize the club had been stifled and hot even against your open skin that had been on display most of the night.

The walk was short and you had gotten used to nightlife in Seoul after going for fast food after work so many nights, you were often starving and strippers weren’t allowed to eat on the job, mixing that with a couple of drinks, an empty stomach was never a good way to go to bed.

Sitting down in the booth you opened up your takeout box, pulling your hair up into a messy bun as you gave him a smile, “So, is this about the birthday girl?”

Alex blinked a few times before quickly letting his gaze drop to his own food, playing with his chopsticks before he murmured, “You mean Jiwoo?” He pressed his tongue into his cheek before sighing, running a hand through his hair before he admitted, “I’ve liked her for over two years…? It started out as just a crush and I didn’t really think much of it but...things have gotten weird between us I guess.” He picked at his food, his face dejected at the memory which made your heart ache for him, the poor guy looked completely crushed, and after last night's display it was no wonder.

Curling your knees into your chest you leaned against the window as you hummed, “What do you mean? How did things go from fine to weird?” You know you didn’t know him personally, but you’d never turn away someone who needed your help, or at least your opinion on a situation, especially one that seemed so heartbreaking for him.

“Things were fine until four months ago, I mean we had gotten really close and…” He groaned, facepalming as he muttered, “We ended up going to a party and drinking a lot- I don’t remember but I’m pretty sure I confessed- she’s been acting weird ever since. But to go and sleep with a stripper? It’s so unlike her er-” It seemed as if he was going to say your name- only to realize he had yet to learn it, “...I mean do I even stand a chance with a guy like that?”

You frowned at his words. The answer was- he probably didn’t. Jungkook was the most charismatic person you had ever met, he knew all the right things to say and his confidence could win you a thousand times over, and of course his good looks and incredible build only furthered his chances with any girl on the planet, “Well,” You paused, glancing down at the table yourself, trying to push the image Jungkook had sent of himself and the girl- Jiwoo in chat away from your mind, “My mentor is a lot of things Alex- but committed probably isn’t one of them,” He seemed to notice the own dejection you held as you sighed, “I doubt you have to worry about him stealing her away, he’s extremely adamant about actually getting close to any of our clients.”

“Wait…” Alex faltered in his sentence as he pressed his lips together, “Are you and him…?” He trailed off his words, as if not wanting to really ask, but wanting to make sure this situation hadn’t involved more members then he realized.

Your lips parted and your pupils widened as you fumbled, “Oh no! It’s nothing like that-” You gave a tense laugh as you rubbed your neck, “Jungkook and I…” You squinted your eyes as you glanced at the table, what were you? Friends? Just trainee and mentor? “It’s….it’s complicated,” You sighed as your expression dropped, “He’s my mentor for stripping.” You explained before picking at your own food, “But...I don’t know our relationship is weird, we’re friends but- it’s a weird situation.” You shrugged, not wanting to think about it any longer before you hummed, “Have you told her you like while sober?”

“Hell no!” Alex replied a little too fast, just the idea made him look nervous and he was probably working a knot in his stomach at just the idea of confessing, he could still remember being nervous when he was drunk, god only knew what it’d be like if he did it sober.

You clacked your tongue before shaking your head, “I know it’s scary, but you should just be honest with her and tell her.” It wasn’t an appealing idea, you understood, but at the end of the day if she wasn’t interested in it would be better for him to know and move on. You hadn’t known him for more than a few hours but Alex seemed like a sweet guy he deserved someone who could love him for who he was and only him.

“And if she doesn’t like me back…?” He murmured, finally beginning to slurp on his noodles as if already digging into comfort food of a post breakup that never even began. It made you wanna laugh because the feeling was oddly mutual but you refrained due to his eyes that seemed distant and broken under such an idea of her not liking him.

You offered a sympathetic smile before replying, “Then you’re better off with the truth and walking away knowing that there is no hidden feelings and there was no other outcome possible. I know the idea hurts, but you can’t stay stuck on someone who doesn’t love you, and the only way to find out is if you just ask her. Who knows maybe she does like you.” Your smile brightened as you passed him a wink, beginning to dig into your own meal.

Alex sighed before nodding, “You’re right...thank you for listening to me by the way- never thought i’d pay a stripper for advice.” He gave a small laugh, and for the first time all night you let out a genuine one of your own.

It was ironic but people often seeked advice in the oddest places. You ended up having a pleasant conversation with him before finishing up your meal, Alex- had insisted on walking you home, saying he wouldn’t feel comfortable or okay letting you go home so late on your own.

It wasn’t until you abruptly paused outside of the restaurant when you checked your phone, that you swallowed thickly, your notifications had been blown up by several missed calls and a wall of text from Jungkook- who had apparently saw the money exchange with Alex at Cherry Bomb and had gotten a completely wrong impression on what had happened.

“Everything okay…?” Alex asked a little hesitant at the sight of your white knuckles gripping your phone and your blurry vision. Angrily you rubbed your eyes, mad at yourself now for wanting to cry. But it just made you so mad!

How could he expect you to comply when he had been such a dick the past two days. Obivously he was concerned for your safety, but he had went about it in the completely wrong way, leaving you feeling more dumb and angry then cared about or safe.

You understood the risk you were taking when you agreed to go with Alex but this guy didn’t have a malicious bone in his body, he was completely in love and it showed.

“I’m fine, he just…” You forced the sob down your throat as you shook your head, walking side by side with him as you sighed, “He just makes me so angry.” He gave you a look of sympathy as you both made your way back to your apartment.

Pushing his hands into the pockets of his jacket he looked like he was in contemplation for a moment before asking, “Why is it complicated with your mentor?” You frowned at the question, you had answered plenty about your mentor at Cherry Bomb, but never any pertaining to the actual nature of your relationship.

And so you did the only thing you could, you told him everything. The whole walk back you did your best to explain how you ended up auditioning, how Jungkook had persuaded you to take the job. How he rarely ever referred to you by your name and how well you both got along, and then you told him about your boyfriend and how you finally decided this was the end. You were going to talk to him and break it off but now Jungkook was giving you the cold shoulder and you were at a loss of what to do.

“I’m sorry…” You sighed, glancing at your feet as you stopped in front of your apartment complex, “You paid for me to listen to you- not the other way around.” You rubbed the back of your neck and you could feel your face heating up as you frowned before looking up at him.

Alex found himself laughing, looking down at you with a smile as he shook his head, “I paid for your opinion on what I should do, and in the end it was the same as Minjun’s. I just needed to hear it from someone else, the least I can do is listen to you as well. Besides, it seemed like you needed to blow off some steam, you and your mentor seem like you have a pretty intense relationship.”

Sighing you gave a weak smile, “Yeah that’s one way to put...anyways thank you for walking me home. Tell me how it goes with Jiwoo when you get the courage to confess.” He laughed before nodding and saying goodbye.

Just like most days you were drained and ready to sleep off the day, you had hoped today would be the day you’d talk to Jungkook again, but all it ended with was even more strain between you both. Dejectedly you pulled out the key from your bag as you stood in front of your door before going to unlock it.

You paused at noticing it already half shut, you always locked the door before leaving...Warily you glanced around your surroundings before pushing the door open. Everything seemed in its normal place and undisturbed, the few lights you left on were still bright and it wasn’t until you saw the figure sitting at your table, a cold cup of coffee next to him that you scoffed with raised brows, “Hanjae? What the hell are you doing here?”

It made sense of course, but you couldn’t keep the surprised look off your face. When you said you’d talk later this was not what you meant. Hanjae took a sip of his drink before he rose his brows, “Here to talk. Where the hell have you been? It’s almost four in the morning!”

Closing your eyes you groaned, you were tired, both physically and emotionally and you really didn’t want to do this right now. You had been planning a whole speech to let him down as gently as possible, but due to his force of hand you were just going to have to be blunt, “Does it matter? Look, I’m gonna be forward with you, Hanjae. We’re done, I’ve done a lot of thinking the past week and I don’t love you. You don’t love me, it doesn’t make sense for us to stay together.” You wished your tone was gentle, you wished you could give him a soft expression. You wished for a lot of fucking things today but none of that was going to happen and you weren’t about to start here.

Hanjae almost instantly shot up from his chair, “I do love you! Why is that so fucking difficult for you to understand? I’m not just going to sit here and let you ruin our relationship because you’ve let even more bad influences in your life. Who the hell was that by the way?” He almost sneered out, his expression flaring and you had already pulled out your phone.

You had never seen him so tense before and so much strong anger in his voice, it admittedly scared you, “He’s a coworker I hang out with- Would you stop saying everyone I hang out with a bad influence?” You turned away from him with gritted teeth, hurriedly texting the only person you could think of to come get you, Rosé. You knew if Jungkook got involved things would escalate, Hanjae knew where Seulgi lived and of course Namjoon and Seokjin were still at work.

“I’m sorry you still have feelings- but I don’t okay?” You turned to face him, already hearing the notification from Rosé and hoping she was on her way, “I don’t know if I ever did honestly. Can you please just go? I’m tired and I need to sleep. I wish I could give you another answer but I’m breaking up with you Hanjae, I can’t keep living like this.” You stepped away, originally going to open the door and see him out but you were automatically yanked back by his harsh grip on you.

Hanjae instantly had you pinned to the wall, his grip bruising your upper arms as he snarled, “You think you have a choice in breaking up with me? Sorry baby but I lead this relationship and it isn’t over until I say so.” The nickname you had become so used to Jungkook using sounded like venom on his lips as you instantly shifted wincing in pain, “Now let’s go to bed so you can sleep off this ridiculous bullshit.”

“You’re fucking pyschotic!” You snapped out as he began to shuffle you both away from the wall as you tried to pull from his grip, “Hanjae stop!” His grip on you only got tighter as you winced again, hearing another notification go off on your phone, “Our relationship is over whether you like it or not you aren’t going to change my mind!”

You were pushed back against the wall again, this time pain throbbing your back as Hanjae snapped down at you, furious at your words despite their truth, “Oh and who’s gonna stop me huh? Not your little shitty friend, nobody wants you angel hate to be that wake up call but the only person on this planet willing to give you the time of day is me. You think he’ll ever care about you the way I do? He won’t.” You weren’t sure if the tears watering in your eyes was from the pain shooting in your arms from his grip or because of his words. Hanjae’s grip on you was suddenly broke at the shocking sight of blonde hair.

Your vision was blurred from your tears but the very clear image of Jimin was seared into your mind with one of the most scary glares you had ever seen, Rosé was suddenly by your side, arm wrapped around you with her own frightened expression as Jimin demanded you both go. Rosé was quick to guide you out of your apartment, hurriedly getting you down both sets of stairs and into the car that had been parked as she sat in the back seat with you, “Fucking christ,” She murmured out, “I was scared shitless when I got your text! A-are you okay? Did he hurt you?” You hadn’t even realized how badly you were shaking until she wrapped both of her arms around you, hugging you tightly.

“I-I’m fine...just…” You couldn’t form any words, mainly in shock at just how psychotic your ex boyfriend had truly become, had he always been like this? Your mind was racing ninety to nothing in trail of figuring out if that was the case. You had always been too intimidated to speak up before hand, generally not liking conflict with your boyfriend. Had you realized it would’ve blown up the way it did, you might’ve never left him out of fear, or alternatively this could’ve been avoided and you would’ve left before he had gotten so attached.

“Hey it’s okay,” Rosé cooed out noticing the tears blurring your vision again as she dug her nose into your hair, “We can talk about it later, you’re safe now.” You finally let a stifled sob escape your throat as you closed your eyes, leaning against her as she stroked your hair, the comfort her warm body brought to you and the distinct smell of perfume calming your senses.

You jumped at the sound of the car door opening, freaked out for a moment at the idea of Hanjae marching down here to get you and force you back into your own home- which he wrongfully invaded due to having knowledge of where you stored your spare key. Instead you were greeted by Jimin who looked extremely ruffled but turned the car on nonetheless before driving back to you assumed Rosé’s home.

The whole ride had been swallowed in silence until you were sat down on the couch of Rosé’s apartment, hers a fair bit nicer than your own and she even had a custom pole placed between the kitchen and living room. She had wrapped a blanket around you and that’s when you noticed all of the pillows and blankets thrown everywhere and a sheet laid out on the ground, “We were having a movie night when you texted,” She explained with a small laugh though you could tell it was sheepish as if trying to lighten the mood, “I’m glad Jimin was here.” Her voice sombered as she sighed.

Jimin leaned back into the couch as he collectively sighed with her and you did as well, all of you looking both drained and exhausted as he asked the million dollar question, “I’m glad I was too...But Y/n, why didn’t you call Jungkook…?” You avoided his gaze that softened as your lips quivered, “You know he would’ve been over in a heartbeat, no matter how petty he is he’d never ignore anyone in that situation, especially you.”

“It’s already been a long night,” You tried to keep your voice level as your eyes began glossing over again, “If he got involved things only would’ve got worse. I’m sorry for bothering you guys…” It was their one day off and you had ruined it, leaving an empty pain in your stomach as your tried to keep your hiccup down your throat.

“Oh honey,” Rosé frowned as she grabbed your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as her own lips quivered, as if your words deeply upset her even though she refused to let it show on her face, “Never apologize for that, if you hadn’t of texted when you did there’s no telling what would’ve happened. Do you want me to call him…? I’m sure he’d come over immediately.”

You stiffened at the idea, had things not gone the way they did today you would’ve called him yourself, but now? You honestly didn’t want to see him, he hurt you more than you were willing to admit and all you wanted was a few decent hours of sleep.

Both Jimin and Rosé frowned as they exchanged glances, maybe hoping your mentor could give you comfort that you clearly needed, but you weren't sure if you could trust him, not when he had been so hot and cold, and he was so demanding yet callous of your own emotions as if they didn’t exist, it hurt, it hurt just to think about the conversation you had shared with him earlier.

His concern completely overshadowed by his condescension making you feel like you were nothing but a toddler with a lack of good judgement. Having to narrow it down- you supposed what the core of your hurt came from was the fact that his own lack of trust in you was very apparent.

“I just wanna lay down and get some rest…” You wiped your eyes, not realizing the tears that had trickled down your cheeks as Rosé sighed sadly before nodding, pity in her eyes as she stood up, gesturing her arms as you got off the couch, letting her wrap an arm around you before leading you to what you assumed was her room, “You can rest here for the night baby, do you need anything? I have some spare pajamas in my dresser, feel free to raid it for something comfy.”

“I’m okay…” You sniffled out, wiping your eyes before giving her a small smile despite your eyes persisting in their watering, “Thank you…” Rosé gave you a much brighter smile of her own as she nodded, tugging at a strand of your hair before bidding you goodnight.

Being left alone in her room, you took a moment to inhale looking around before ultimately deciding you were comfy enough as it was. All you wanted was nothing more then to crash and sleep away such an awful day, and that was exactly what you did.

Your body was stiff, tired from being on your feet almost the whole day and your back was aching dully as pain throbbed into your arms at the slightest movement. The pain had waved over you the whole night but it was the delicious smell of pancakes that had you woke up from your deep slumber.

The window had been cracked letting in the nice cool breeze from the morning air and the sun shined through the window delicately, not too bright, but not too grey either. For a brief moment, you had forgotten where you were until memories of the previous night washed over you. Rubbing your eyes you sat up with a wince before groaning, rubbing your back as your face twisted into pain while glancing at your upper arms that sported dark purple bruises in the familiar shape of Hanjae’s hands.

Last night had been very real and the marks that stained your arms was only proof of its existence. It wasn’t until you grabbed your phone from the messy bed, realizing it must’ve fell from your pocket while alseep that you checked the time, eyes almost popping out of your head at the time. You slept in until fucking 9AM? Practice would be over in a half an hour! You could rush to make it but by the time you would’ve got there it would be useless, groaning you flopped down onto the bed as you pressed your hands into your eyes, fuck! Why didn’t they wake you up?

Pushing yourself off the bed you ran a hand through your hair before making your way to the living room, you stopped short at the kitchen though when you saw Jimin flipping the last of his batch of pancakes onto the plate, “Morning, did you sleep well?”

“Why didn’t you guys wake me up!?” You instantly cried out in demand as you trudged over, unable to deny the plate he handed you as your stomach growled, and the smell of pancakes and bacon- though was more of an american style breakfast you’d never deny a sweet treat first thing in the morning.

Jimin flicked your forehead causing you to rub the spot with a whine as he replied, “Babe you just got out of a fight with your ex asshole that was borderline domestic abuse, you deserved a morning to sleep in. Now sit down and eat you can tell me what happened meanwhile.”

You sighed before sitting next to him on the bar countertop, cutting your pancake before shoving as much as your chopsticks would allow into your mouth.

You started at the beginning of the night, explaining to Jimin in detail the reason you had been so adamant about calling Jungkook- even giving him your phone to read through the conversation himself, “Who did you go out with though? If you don’t mind me asking, usually we only take extra cash if a client is looking to buy us for night.” Jimin asked curiously, handing your near dead phone to you as you closed it.

“There was a guy there who needed a second opinion on what to do with a girl he really liked. I’m not stupid Jimin I-...I knew-” You sighed in frustarted, trying to convince yourself more then him as he sighed, gently grasping your shoulder as he gave it a comforting squeeze.

“You’re a grown woman Y/n, I know you aren’t stupid and I would never doubt your judgement with a client. Jungkook is…” He trailed off, thinking for a second before he clacked his lips, “He cares about you, a lot. He cares about all of us to the point he gets overprotective in the process, but it doesn’t change the fact that he cares. He just doesn’t know how to show it, and eventually he pulls away when he feels exposed vulnerability and ends up pushing everyone away to protect himself. Or at least that’s my theory,”

Jimin wrapped an arm around you, delicately to avoid press against the bruising of your arm, “I know it’s frustrating, and isn’t fair for you but Jungkook does care, and if you give him a chance, even if he’s an insufferable ass who doesn’t deserve it-” He cracked a smile making you stifle a giggle, “He will open up, and when that happens…Jungkook is- he’s a good guy, he’s loyal to the ones he loves for life. He’ll defend us in a heartbeat and would never turn any of us away when we’re in need. But he’s still human Y/n. He has a lot of toxic traits and faults he has to work on, we all do if you wanna put it into perspective.”

“You are right…” You sighed, glancing down at your lap as you sighed, taking in Jimin’s words. He was right of course, Jungkook...for all the bad that had happened so quickly, you had plenty of good memories of him as well. He really was someone you’d like to go too in a time of need, and you were sure Jimin was right, he’d throw hands with any soul that dared cross his friends. But you couldn’t help but feel a little apprehensive still, “I just...I need to see that from him, himself. You know?”

Jimin gave your shoulders one last squeeze before he let go nodding, cracking another smile as he laughed, “Oh you’ll see, if you stick with that dense asshole he’ll prove himself, he always does.” You couldn’t help but smile a little at his words, Jimin seemed closed to Jungkook, at least enough to be one hundred percent confident in him. You could only hope, maybe one day you’d be able to say the same. But right now, your feelings were wilted and crumbled and the hurt that had been stabbed at you from so many directions had took a heavy toll on you both emotionally and physically.

All you wanted now was to at least make things right with Jungkook, and then you’d at least be back on the right path to building a proper relationship with him again. You ended up finishing breakfast before taking you home, explaining Rosé decided to head into practice and smooth things over with Jungkook as best she could while explaining to him what had taken place the night before with Hanjae.

You were surprised mainly because he had yet to text you all day, she must’ve did a good job. Jimin had made sure to come inside with you for a few minutes to make sure the apartment was vacant and thankfully it was. You had sent him off with a thank you and goodbye before allowing yourself to relax, you rarely ever skipped classes but today, you’d make an exception.

It had been a few days more of a half a month you had been working at Cherry Bomb and not in one single of those days, did you feel replenished and renewed as tonight as you packed up for work. You had laid around the majority of the day, did some cleaning and tended to your little succulents. It was such a nice change of pace and you had been a happy camper all around before heading off to work.

All of the negative energy you had been so bogged down and for once, you were glad you decided to stay in. Your physical health had took such a beating for so long you hadn’t even realized how taxing and exhausting your everyday schedule was.

Pushing the doors open to Cherry Bomb you had been determined to perform your best tonight and hopefully make a little more money than the night before. You had only danced yesterday and tonight would be your last chance for the week as upper management, like you had been told, mainly kept you working on the floor.

Taking a seat at the wide vanity you ignored everyones comments and occasional stares as you begun your makeup making sure the crease had been cut sharp and hopefully this pair of fake lashes wouldn’t end in ruins like your pair last night had. Spraying the setting spray on you stood up before getting changed into the black minidress, the lace bodysuit you wore underneath was where it counted due to its deep plunge and even with the dress on you could feel the pressure of cleavage sticking against the tight material.

Sitting back down once more you had pulled on the fishnet stockings, making sure to fasten them as well as you could to your garter belt before putting on your heels and making your way backstage. Tonight was all about your celebration this far into your new, hopefully short lived, career.

Leaning back against the pole you had waited for the first few counts before turning to face the audience, letting the music take over with more ease then the first few times you had been on stage. Letting your hands drag up your body as you sunk down to your knees, something about performing had changed or maybe it was the day of being able to relax that had helped?

You weren’t sure what had changed but you enjoyed it and clearly the crowd did as well when you felt the money pile around you. You were positive the feeling would never get old.

After the song had ended you quickly gathered the money before blowing a kiss to the crowd with a smile before heading backstage, pulling the robe over your body you sat down in your chair as you neatly stacked the ones and began to excitedly count them.

“I wish the others weren’t such hardasses, I mean it’s hard to not feel at least a little bit bad for her,” You paused at the sound of a fillers voice, there were only two other girls in the room- poledancers if you remembered correctly, “She’s just a trainee- and to be put in that position.” The girl sighed sinking into her seat.

“What?” You couldn’t help but ask as you raised your brows, curiosity filling you, you were aware you weren’t the only trainee at Cherry Bomb, what had happened? You found, the pole dancers were a little nicer than the dancers, they wouldn’t blow you off, right?

The girl frowned as she answered, “Oh we just had a code black happen- one of the girls got sexually harassed. Sounded pretty bad,” She explained while cringing slightly, pity in her eyes before humming, “What was her name….?” She glanced towards her friend.

The other shrugged before putting on her heels, “Um...Seulgi I think?”

You instantly shot up out of your chair, your heart dropping into your stomach at the sound of your friend's name. It couldn’t have been Seulgi, right!? Right? Your heart rate had spiked and your hands were shaky as you bolted for the door, the need to find your bestfriend flooding your whole body as you pushed through the hallway.

You had almost crashed into Namjoon as you both locked eyes, almost as if he knew your exact thoughts he instantly grabbed your forearm leading you through the busy hallway, “She’s in Hoseok’s dressing room, nothing actually happened but the guy came pretty close. Seokjin’s with her right now while security and Hoseok are taking care of the guy.” He stopped in front of the plagued door with Hoseok’s name on it before opening it.

Your heart dropped into your stomach at the sight of your friend, tears streaming down her face and her whole body violently shaking while covering in a flimsy robe. Seokjin sat by her, making sure to keep his distance while murmuring soft words of comfort to her when you quickly entered into the room.

As soon as you sat down Seulgi lunged for you, wrapping her arms around you as she sobbed, “I-I was so scared!” You buried your nose into her hair, eyes watering at the messy state your friend had been left in as you stroked her back, “It’s okay, you’re safe now, you’re safe Seulgi.” But she only kept incoherently babbling as she sobbed against you, her breathing heavy and uneven as you squeezed her tightly.

You were absolutely horrified and felt completely helpless, unable to do anything to reverse the damage that had been done. You understood that risks of your job, but too actually see it. Too actually endure your bestfriends sobs because someone tried to force themselves on her? It broke you to your very core leaving nothing but an angry void left.

Your job didn’t give anyone the right to do that! Stripper or not you were still human, you still deserved to be treated as such and yet here your bestfriend was with that very right almost ripped away from her.

Hearing the door open you noticed it was Hoseok, his knuckles were bruised and swollen but his eyes locked onto his trainee as hurried into the room, sitting down on the couch as Seulgi instantly launched herself into him, the shaking of her body ceasing as she buried into his neck as he softly comforted her. The sight broke your heart.

You noticed the other soloist’s filing in all with broken expressions as Rosé’s lips quivered, “Is she okay…?” You wordlessly nodded, your eyes staying on Seulgi’s curled up position, unable to fully process the sight before your eyes. Seulgi had always been the stronger one out of you two, she was always the one hugging you when you cried. To see her so weak, so vulnerable the pain ached in your chest for your friend, feeling a little better to see her mentor already helping her recover even in the smallest way.

Seokjin stood up as he sighed, finally speaking up over the heavy, thick tension of the room, “I’ll handle things with Sejin and Bang, everyone should get back to work, are you clocking out Hoseok?” He glanced towards the male as he asked, a soft note in his voice as he backed towards the door.

Hoseok nodded, his eyes only flickering to everyone else for a brief moment as he answered, “Yeah, I’m gonna stay with her. I can handle things from here.” The air was still somber and only Seulgi’s cries filled the room as everyone slowly dispersed. You didn’t want to leave Seulgi alone but you knew it was for the best, she was in good hands with her mentor and you knew if it was you…

You let your eyes trail to the only figure that lingered: Jungkook stood as if waiting for you, his eyes meeting yours for the first time in what felt like forever, his expression was unreadable but heavy making you break his gaze as you sighed.

You weren’t sure what you would’ve done, or who you would’ve went too if it happened to you, if anyone at all. Standing up you wrapped your arms around yourself, checking the clock only too see your next groups dance had just finished on stage. At least you’d be able to go home and sleep off the day, it seemed those were filling your week more and more.

Closing the door you could barely let go of the knob before you were suddenly hauled into a tight embrace causing you to jolt at the unexpected skinship, “Fuck- you scared me to death...” Jungkook’s voice was muffled as he buried his nose into the crook of your neck, his chest pressing firmly into your back and his arms kept you locked into place, “I’m sorry,” those were the next words to tumble out of his lips as he squeezed you a little tighter, “God- I’m- I’m so sorry Y/n. I didn’t have any right to treat you the way I did and- and I don’t- fuck I’m sorry.”

Your lips were already quivering and you were well aware of the wet, warm tears rolling down your cheeks, you hadn’t realized how much you missed him until he was right behind you, apologies escaping his lips left and right, “Shhh don’t cry babygirl, I know I was a total asshole and I don’t have a good explanation and I have no right to ask but please forgive me.” His words only spurred your tears more as you let your shoulders bounce from the gentle sob that escaped your lips making him hug you tighter.

“It- It fucking hurt- you know that? You have some- some...nerve to just swoop in and try to fix everything with a hug,” You finally spoke trying to keep your voice from cracking as you attempted to keep your voice level with the tears streaming down your cheeks, “And- and fuck you! Because it’s working and I- I hate it! You’re such a dick!” You snapped with a sob while babbling, his grip on you loosened and you could even hear a faint laugh escape his lips as you stomped your foot, “I’m- I’m being serious!” You really weren’t but your petty anger was getting the better of you despite your sniffle.

“I know you are babygirl,” Jungkook murmured, his voice a little amused and for the first time, you were relieved to hear his nickname for you escape his lips, as it turns out you prefered it on his lips more then your own name, “I am a dick,” His voice sombered as he sighed, “You’re too good for me babygirl...I know I don’t deserve it but I still want you as my trainee: mine. You don’t have to stay...but-”

“I’m not leaving Cherry Bomb you dipshit!” You cried out indignantly before finally turning around and throwing your arms around his neck, pulling him now as you buried your face into his neck, “Yes you pissed me off- made me cry more than humanly possible but I’m also aware of how much of a sensitive piece of shit I am,” You sighed before tightening your grip around him, not realizing just how much you had genuinely missed Jungkook, you missed his banter and his dumb smirks and innunedos that had you snapping at him with blushing cheeks, you missed the way he called you babygirl or insisted on another silly petname instead of just using your real name, you missed him, “I’m not leaving Jungkook.”

You felt his previously tense body suddenly relax at your words as his grip on you tightened, despite the short time you knew him, you also saw him everyday, almost all day long. Jungkook had become a big part of your life, you didn’t want to lose him when he always brightened your day.

“Thank you.” He murmured gently, pressing his forehead into your shoulder before pressing a gentle kiss against the skin, eyes closed as he murmured, “Stay the night with me baby, I...ah fuck- I can’t…” he exhaled sharply as if annoyed with himself at being unable to form a proper sentence, “So much shit has happened and a lot of it’s my fault. I was freaking the fuck out when I saw you leave with that guy- I can’t...I could never- and then Hanjae? That guy…” His jaw was clenched and you could hear the brittle anger in his voice, “I swear I could fucking kill him...And then the code black-?”

He stopped short of his sentence, forehead still pressed into your shoulder and his eyes squeezed tightly shut as his arms coiled around you further, “When they said trainee I- I- fuck- I thought it was you. After everything that’s happened? I’m already pissed at myself but if that happened-...I’d never forgive myself, just please, stay with me tonight I don’t want you away from me after everything that’s happened.” His voice was near pleading, and his grip had become tight as if you disappear if he let go, he pressed another kiss into your shoulder as if hoping maybe it would entice you.

But all it did was soften your bruised heart, despite all of the hurt you had been through. There was no other arms you’d rather be in then Jungkook’s.

Digging through your bag you sighed, you hadn’t actually packed anything comfy for after work and stood on the cold tile floor of Jungkook’s bathroom that extended from his room, dejectedly looking down at your bag in disappointment as you tugged on the uncomfortable material of your jeans, the cropped top wouldn’t do either given you had begun wearing thongs outside of work to try and become more accustomed to the feeling.

You almost let out a whine at your luck before you sighed, unlocking the door you poked your head out as you felt your cheeks begin to burn, “Guk…”

“Hm?” He was laid out on the bed, his eyes had been previously closed and for once, you could notice the dark circles under his eyes and he looked exhausted. Opening his eyes he glanced towards you in acknowledgement.

“Do you have a shirt I can borrow…?” You felt embarrassment wash over you at the sound of his soft laugh as he got up from his bed, walking over to his dresser as he pulled out one of his infamous, large white t-shirts before walking up to the door, his eyes drinking up the bare skin of your collarbones as you grabbed the shirt with a timid, ‘thank you’ before closing the door.

Sighing you wanted to slam your head into the wall, you had stayed the night with plenty of guys before-...well only once outside of Hanjae- and even he usually preferred going over to your house. But something felt so intimate about staying with Jungkook, you couldn’t quite place your finger on it.

Pulling your clothes off you sighed before unhooking your uncomfortable bra and pulling the shirt over your head. You almost blushed instantly at the way his shirt drowned your body, the distinct smell of his cologne bringing you a strong sense of security that made you snuggle further into the material, Hanjae rarely ever let you wear his clothes, you always wondered why. It was so nice being in oversized shirts and hoodies.

The edge of the shirt dropped to the mid of your thighs and there was more than plenty of room to spare up top due to the stretch his broad shoulders made on the shirt, it was undeniably him. Just him. Opening the door you shuffled, feeling his eyes already on your figure as he drinked up the sight making you shift bashfully.

Just seeing the tired, sleepy smirk on his face had your ears hot red making his lips crack into a smile as he lifted his arms, “C’mere.” It was embarrassing how it only took one word for you to practically flop on top of him. Dropping your head down onto his chest you felt his arms loosely wrap over you as you yawned, an immediate tiredness washing over your eyes while bathed in his warmth.

“I can’t believe he did that…” You poked your head up in confusion at his words, his hand slipping down to your upperarm before gently thumbing the dark bruise, you instantly winced even under his gentle touch making his gaze darken slightly, “Why didn’t you call me babygirl?” He sounded a little hurt, even looked a little hurt as he frowned, closing his eyes as he dropped his head back against the pillow and returned his arm back around you.

“We both know things would’ve got way out of hand if I did…” You murmured, a bit of guilt stabbing in your stomach at the realization you didn’t trust him like you should’ve, even after your argument over text, he should’ve been your go to…”I’m sorry…”

Jungkook rolled over to his side, letting you both adjust before he grabbed at the back of your thigh, pulling it over his waist to cuddle you closer, “It’s fine babygirl- I know our texts probably didn’t help…” He sighed, pressing his forehead against yours as he closed his eyes, his fingers brushing against the side of your body, “Just...please call me next time- I don’t care what’s going on between us- I...I’m your number one okay? When you’re in trouble.” His arm suddenly squeezed around you, “You go to me. I never want you to feel like I wouldn’t protect you.” He muttered more to himself than you. You could feel whatever pressure had been left in your chest lift at his words, making you close your eyes as you pulled closer to him. For the first time in your life, you really did feel safe.

You felt yourself becoming sleepier by the second at the feeling of his fingers gently stroking your side, swirling random, gentle patterns into the soft material of his shirt you wore before letting them trail down to your hips. Focusing on the light brush of his fingertips as you let your eyes fall shut, they were warm and left a little tingling against the open skin of your thigh.

“Is that a thong?” You had never jumped harder out of a half sleep state as you did in that moment, Jungkook’s tone huskier as his lips brushed over your ear, you couldn’t tell if it was because he was half asleep himself or aroused, maybe both.

You attempted to scurry away from him as you sputtered, “I- I! I was almost asleep you pervert!” Your face was practically boiling alive and the flare in your ears returned as Jungkook quickly pulled you back against him, his lips pressing into your neck as if too try and sooth your embarrassment, “But you weren’t fully asleep,” Jungkook purred out, his tone sleepy as well his hand on the back of your thigh to pull it over his waist, this time hiking it higher forcing the shirt to lift up exposing your previously covered ass to the cold nip of the room.

“Mmm lace looks so good on you babydoll.” Jungkook rasped in your ears making you whine as you wiggled in his arms, his words, had almost shamefully made you wet. His hand instantly slipped up your thigh to cup one cheek before kneading against it making you involuntarily try to grind closer to him, “Jungkook!” You whined out making him chuckle before rolling you both over, caging you between his arms as you shrank as far into the mattress as you could.

You had been in many positions with Jungkook, but never truly underneath him on a bed. Seeing him hover over you, tired without a doubt but arousal glazing his eyes already had you worked up and he hadn’t even done anything, “So…” He licked his lips, a smirk quirking on his mouth as he let one hand stroke your hipbone making you lift them along with his stroke, “Feels like we’ve had this conversation before,”

You almost wanted to wack him on the head as you resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his dumb smile, “But you can just tell me to get off you,” He leaned in, sucking gently against your neck making your breath hitch as you squirmed beneath him, “You needed time to think things over with Hanjae…” you shuddered at the feeling of his warm tongue running over your skin, “Just say the word and we can go to bed.” He teased as he nipped at your skin again, his hands indulging as they ran over the side of your body.

“I broke up with him.” He abruptly stopped before sitting up making you strangle to keep the whine of objection leaving your lips as you lifted yourself onto your forearms, “What…?”

He store at you for a whole five seconds, pupils a little wide as he breathed out while running a hand through his hair, “Thank god…” he looked extremely relieved, a brief smile pulling on his lips as he lunged back down at you before playfully adding, “There can only be one daddy in your life babygirl and you know I was willing to fight him for it.”

“You are unbelievable!” You cried out making him laugh, his smile pressed against your skin as he excitedly pushed his hands under your shirt like a kid in a candy shop making you squirm. His hands were warm and the calloused brushed against your skin in all the right ways, “He wasn’t a daddy anyways.”

“Fuck,” He paused briefly as he pressed his forehead against your chest, “You sound so hot when you say that baby.” His words were sent straight to your already throbbing wet pussy that had you rubbing your thighs together, you assumed he was joking about being your daddy but somehow it really wasn’t surprising to quickly figure out he wasn’t.

The idea had you soaked and you were sure there was an embarrassing wet mark by now as Jungkook sat up, his eyes lidded as he licked his lips, pushing the shirt over your chest making you squeak, the warm confines of the material no longer covering you, leaving your nipples hard against the cold air of the room and your cheeks burning in opposition, “Don’t you dare cover yourself now baby,” Jungkook instantly grabbed your wrists stopping them as you whined shuffling beneath him, “Mmm, you’re so pretty baby,” He cooed out soothingly noticing your nervous shift of body, wrists still pinned by him as he licked a trail up your stomach leaving you arching your back for more as his foreplay nearly killed you.

Jungkook smirked against your skin, as if knowing you were putty in his hands and ready to be played with. The sexual tension had been killer between you both even now after being apart for those short few days, in fact, the absence only made his tongue feel that much better as he dragged it over your left nipple popping it into his mouth.

“Jungkook!” You whined trying to kick your feet beneath him as impatience built inside you, you weren’t used to so much foreplay and honestly it wasn’t even needed, all Jungkook had to say was one word for you to be soaked.

You felt a hard sting against your thigh making you cry out with a whimper at his hand that had just popped against your thigh leaving it with a slight throb of pain, “You know I really can’t stand brats,” Jungkook almost growled, a hand slotting between your thighs making you clamp around it, “You’re gonna be daddy’s good babygirl and wait, right?” His hand cupped your throbbing core as he squeezed it making you whine as you nodded, your back aching at being arched once more while his tongue returned to your other nipple, “Right?” He spanked your thigh once more, a little harder as it burned into your skin making you jump with a breathy moan.

“Yes...daddy.” You swallowed thickly, embarrassment covering your whole body as you looked up at him, his eyes completely engulfed on your figure before letting out a moaned sigh of his own, as if waiting for you to say those words.

Just as he was about to lean back over you a loud knock had echoed throughout the house causing you to jump, anxiety pouring through your whole body as you let out a panicked noise, Jungkook had instantly pulled your shirt back over yourself, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck as he cooed, “Hey shhh, you’re safe babygirl.” Your hands were still shaky with adrenaline at being planted back into reality as another more impatient knock came from the front door, “Let me get the door, I’ll be right back.” He pressed a kiss against your forehead before getting up and exiting the room.

You almost immediately collapsed against the bed, your body feeling like jello as you ran a hand through your hair, holy shit. Maybe that interruption was for the best, you weren’t sure you were ready for Jungkook, mainly too embarrassed at how noisy you had become, how he got you so easily wet. It must’ve been painfully obvious that despite not being a virgin you still weren’t experienced in bed.

One minute, turned into two, and then two turned into three and briefly you started to become worried. Was everything okay? Did he end up leaving with whoever was at the door? And furthermore, who was at the door at this hour? It was almost five in the morning. You felt worry shoot through your body as you fidgeted against the soft bed, he was okay, right?

Just as you let worry take over you relaxed at Jungkook’s returned figure, you quickly frowned at his expression, he looked even more tired then he had when he first brought you home. His face drained of nearly any emotion as he sighed, running a hand through his hair, “Sorry for the interruption,” He climbed back over you but you could tell whatever had happened- whoever was at the door.

He almost looked numb as he leaned down to press back against your neck.

Abruptly you pressed your hands against his shoulders making him pause as you finally asked, concern written in your voice, “Jungkook...are you okay?”

Silence filled the room for a brief moment, and that moment turned into a full minute before you felt him bury into your neck, and after another moment you felt his shoulders shake and the wet substance of tears drip against your skin that made your heart completely splinter. He was completely silent but his shoulders were shaking and you could hear a breathy light sob if you strained as his grip on you tightened.

Instantly you had your arms wrapped around him as you let your hand tangle into his hair, it had been such a long night already and just hearing him cry, feeling his tears drop against your skin made you hold him closer as you whispered, “Everything is gonna be okay Guk.” You pressed a kiss against the top of his head. You didn’t know why he was crying, and it didn’t matter, he had you to wipe his tears away and you weren’t about to let go of him.

Note: :) I quite like the ending of this chapter how do u guys feel though? 🤔 lots too process here

Taglist: @loveherpersona @megladon1616 @pearlneedstosleep @sincerelyjeohn @jungkookies-golden-noona @ironically-indifferent96 @epiphany-playingwithfire @maboiisuga @kookphoria91 @taehyungiev13 @134340ismybitch @appreciatethefoolishness @hanhannguyen98 @lurkerarmy @lovelyjikook @repeating-seesaw-game @serendipity-secrets @kimvantaee @forevermoremagcon @timestandstillalittle @yanmi1 @expensive-bangtan-girl @blxckeffect @egyptianwitchbutwithab @kimcheeeeeeeeee @rather-not-sayy @pastel-i-decay @taeass @caitlinmarieeblossom @bokuandcoconutsarelife @desires-ss @jishookedout134 @369girlswannadrinkwine @flowingwiththewater @w-ing-ss

(Let me know if you’d like to be added!)

#bts #bangtan #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader smut #bts au

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downinthedevildom · 5 years

Text

Okay so I’m a big hecking dumb! I accidentally answered privately but didn’t put anything it. THANKFULLY! I screenshot everything so not all is lost! 😤😤 so here @delori-a this is for you! X3

First of all! I am no queen, friend! I am but a humble potato 🥔 I’m glad you enjoyed your match up though! 💜💜

I’m sorry this took me a while to finish, I have no excuse... I’m just a procrastinating fiend! X3 HOPE YOU ENJOY SWEETPEA!

Rating : FLUFF!!? Comfort?!

Warnings : none

Word count : 3k+

💚~*~*~*~*~*~*💜💚*~*~*~*~*~*~💜

What time was it? It was always hard to tell here.

Looking up from your desk that is currently cluttered with the battlefield of textbooks and papers you were working through, you cast your dry eyes to the window, the gorgeous starry skies doing little to answer the question in your mind. It's always night here. There was no setting sun in the Devildom to lay hints on how long you had been slaving away since returning from R.A.D for the day.

A heavy sigh passed your lips as you turned your head back to the paper you had half-written, full of dark scratches with your frustration laden mistakes. You pluck your D.D.D up from its hiding space, at some point being disregarded and covered with an open book, to look at the clock. However, it didn't illuminate like it usually would once being lifted meaning the battery had died and you hadn't even noticed the music you had quietly playing from the device stopped somewhere along the way.

It didn't really matter what time it was anyway, you had already resigned yourself to your impending all-night cramming session. Two papers were due and the impending midterm test that counted as half your grade on Monday had sealed your fate to have a very sleepless weekend.

Another sigh left you as your rub your palms over tired eyes in a will to make them stop fighting you with this pesky irritating dryness. You needed coffee; always the silent saviour. You pushed yourself out of the chair, your joints popping loudly in the quiet room with the movement. Using your hip to push your chair in you tossed your D.D.D onto your bed, making your way out of your room and quickly to the kitchen. Never before had you been so thankful that your room was only a few steps away from the elixir of life. At least this way you were sure not to wake the other residents in the house of Lamentation through the weekend. You already knew this would be a trip you would be making a lot over the next few days.

A single push of a button had the coffee machine humming to life, echoing through the room in the unusually quiet house - another thing you were thankful for in this moment. The lively atmosphere would normally fill you with warmth, the seven rulers of hell lives were something to witness in the comfort of their dwelling. Sure they fought often, but these walls were filled with so much family love and a millennia of memories you had only begun to scratch the surface of. Tonight you were thankful for the quiet, no disturbances as you fought against the dread of failure with tooth and nail. You really didn't need the bothers yelling to give your brain more reasons than it already had to pulse painfully in your skull.

It was a Friday night and as far as you knew only you and Leviathan were home right now. That being said, it was more like you had the house to yourself due to the otaku being less likely to come out of his room while he was gaming for the night than it was that you would spontaneously combust from the pressure you were putting on yourself. Everyone else had their weekend plans already in full swing.

Of course, none of the brothers would be home studying like you, struggling to understand the topics of demon-ology. They already knew all this stuff... They lived this stuff! Sighing was quickly becoming your only form of vocalization of the night as another passed though your lips to accompany the dull thunk of your spoon hitting ceramic as you stirred your coffee. The thought of another all-nighter weighed heavy on your chest and that has another sigh following.

“Oi, what's got you all huffy, huh?!” the unexpected voice startled you from your mind, causing you to jolt and fix the white-haired demon with a wide-eyed gaze.

“Mammon, you gave me a damn heart attack!” you managed to squeak out the words as a hand clasped over your chest willing your heart to get back down and out of your throat. The all too familiar grin on his handsome features while he leant against the door frame, did little to convince you he was anything akin to remorseful for causing your soul to temporarily up and leave your body.

“I thought you had a shoot tonight, you skip it?” you questioned him before he had the chance to start teasing you as he normally would. It was always in jest, but you didn't have the energy to throw your own back at him right now.

“Skip?! Its good money doing them shoots ya know! As if I would skip it!” The fake offence in his voice was dripping in the pride he had by earning his own money, honestly. “I finished over an hour ago.” he filled you in while shrugging himself off the door as you approach, continuing to do so as he followed you down the hall. “Just got back, you weren't in ya room so figured I’d hunt ya down.” The playful lilt in his tone made his intentions clear to you, he was still hyped up and if you let him he would talk your ear off until morning.

Normally you would accept it willingly, even asking him questions about his shoots to continue seeing the proud smile on his face and his laugh ringing through the air of your bedroom. You just didn't have the time right now, so instead, you shoved away the voice in your head telling you that procrastination with your favourite demon would be the best way to spend the night.

“And why, pray tell, did you feel the need to find me?” you almost flinched at the harshness of your own voice, quickly placing your coffee down on your table you added in a gentler tone. “Is there something you need? Something wrong?” your hand had already fallen to the back of your chair, ready to pull it out and take your temporary throne, while turning to face him.

You hoped he would read the room and realise you were too busy and leave you be. Dreading the thought of his reaction should you have to ask him to leave. You really did love his company and his self-esteem already got knocked enough by his brothers. Right now, with the prospects of flunking three separate classes hanging in the not too distant future, your nerves were dancing on the edge of a blade. One wrong step and you would be more of a disappointment to the exchange program than you already felt you were.

A flicker of what you read as recognition flashed over Mammons face as his gaze turned from the messy table and his impossibly blue eyes landed on your own. “Yeah, there's somethin’ wrong. You are doin’ homework when we planned a movie night, remember?” he flashed you with another blinding grin and all you could do is blink in bewilderment. No, you didn't remember that. In fact, you are pretty sure he just made that up on the spot so he had more of an excuse to claim your time.

“I’m sorry, Mammon.” you started, the dejectedness in you tone was thick in your tone. You chose not to mention his blatant lie, instead just telling him the truth in return. “I don't have time to watch a movie with you tonight, I really have to get this work done.” You give him a soft smile, hoping he doesn't get upset with you as you attempt to pull out your chair only to find Mammon’s own hand near yours holding it in place.

The questioning look you threw him was only answered by a grin that never faulted from his face. “Hey, you should be happy the GREAT MAMMON is so willing to spend time with ya! You really gonna throw that away for a night of homework, human? You can be a nerd again tomorrow.” his deep chuckle rumbled from his chest, normally it would force out your own but right now all it did was light a fire of irritation under your skin. You rub your free hand on your face, forcing another sigh back down before it could escape.

“Mammon, Please. I really have-”

“Aw, Come on! You got all weekend to be doin all this-” he cut you off and you watched in silent horror as he plucked up one of the textbooks, dislodging papers you had carefully paced as markers for the material you needed to study, your gaze following them as they fluttered to the ground near your feet.

“-This ain't even that hard! Why ar-”

“Yes it is!” the words snapped out of you, cutting him off this time. Your eyes locking onto his stunned ones. The grip on the chair grew tighter with your irritation, causing your knuckles to turn as white as the demon's hair. Not even his surprise at your uncharacteristic outburst could hold back the stinging string of words that rushed forth now the barrier you had built around your stress broke.

“You said it yourself right? Many times in fact! I'm just a stupid human!” you took a breath, releasing your grasp on your chair as your arms started to shake with your misplaced anger. Taking to folding them defiantly instead as you stared down the demon in front of you. The rational side of your mind knew those comments were made in nothing but light-hearted jest. But that rational side wasn't present right now. Abandoning you in a moment of frustration leaving those words to sink deep into your chest as your own self worth sunk lower than your struggling grades.

“And yet I am meant to understand and memorise the in’s and out’s of multiple different demons anatomy types and over fifty thousand years of devildom history, When up until six months ago I was minding my own damn business before being dropped into a world I always believed to be derived from fiction!” your breath shook as the telling pinpricks behind your eyes burned a warning of the impending flood coming forth.

“You know all this stuff! This is your world, your home!...” your chest tightened threatening to close your throat as the days of frustratingly trying to absorb so much in such little time yet still coming up short each time despite how hard you try, floored you “I'm just living in it...“So yes mammon.” your voice cracked and the well in your eyes burst free, sending salty trails cascading down your cheeks. “It is that hard.”

His eyes never left yours for a second during your usual outburst of emotions, though through your rapidly blurring vision it was impossible to read the expression he held, leaving you to assume it was one of realisation leading to his own anger. You turn your head away, slamming your eyes closed in a futile silent plea for your tears to stop, simultaneously waiting for Mammon’s own anger to lash at you. It was deserved after all.

So you waited, for the rush of energy that sends static through the air when one of the brothers’ emotions get irate, the raised booming voice of anger to return back to you. The moments passed in suffocating silence, only the sound of your shaky breaths reverberated in the room, with each passing second without the whiplash you were waiting for not coming, the ache in your chest grew with your guilt.

Lowering your arms in defeat, you knew you had to apologise, you needed to and yet if Mammon hadn't said anything yet it would probably be the catalyst to your demise. you held your breath, willing yourself to once again open your eyes and look at him. But when you did, what you witnessed wasn't a face twisted with anger or even annoyance. His brows were drawn low, casting dark shadows over his eyes that were filled with nothing but shocked sympathy. You open your mouth to utter… anything to break the silence between you both of you.

Before you could force out a single word your world grew dark in the blink of an eye. Strong arms engulfed you, pulling you close to him as slender fingers of one hand threading through your hair holding your head against his broad chest that radiates comforting warmth.

“I'm sorry..” the words you tried to speak were whispered gently, though it wasn't your voice that spoke them. The arm around you back, caging to him grew tighter as a choked sob forced its way from your chests. That was all it took for whatever hold you had left on your emotions to snap and your own arms circled around his waist, gripping the fabric of his shirt as if he was your lifeline.

“I’m sorry for not realizing you were struggling m/c… why didn't you tell me?” his voice, far gentler than you felt you deserved was laced with his own hurt. The warm breath tickling the shell of your ear did little to quell the river spilling from your eyes, soaking his shirt as you attempt to muffle your sobs into his chest.

You had no idea how long you both stood there, you clinging to the Avatar of Greed while he muttered gentle words to help calm your fried emotions. Eventually, you fell quiet, a tiredness flooding through you with his warmth making you realise just how much your body ached for this release of everything you had been keeping locked in a metaphorical cage.

You let your hands slacken on his shirt and as you did Mammons grip loosened too, allowing you enough room to take a step back and look up at him. His own eyes were scanning your features and the gentle smile he was giving you was enough to melt away any of your worries. It made your heart flutter, he really did care about you. In this moment nothing was truer.

“Ya feelin’ better now M/c?” his tone was just as gentle and you could only nod in response, as soon as you did the grin he gave you as his features relaxed in relief had the tips of your ears burning. Thankful to your breakdown your face was no doubt already flushed so would go unnoticed.

“I'm… I'm sorry for shouting at you Mammon. You didn't deserve that.” You dropped your gaze to his chest, a small scoff of a laugh bubbling forth. “I got your shirt all wet…” His bright laugh made you jump slightly, so sudden after the quiet moment. You felt his hands shift from you only to land on your shoulders, causing you to look up again.

“Don’t worry about it!” he spoke as he began taking steps towards you, the hold he had on you gently coaxing you to step backwards with him until your legs bumped the edge of your bed. “It’s my job ain't it? I gotta look after ya, or Lucifer would have my head!” He finished with a light downwards push on your shoulders, gently forcing you to sit on the plush mattress behind you. You gave him a questioning look that he answered with a grin and a shrug while letting go of your shoulders “Just the way it is.” That smile proved to be just as contagious as you always thought it was, now paired with the rising rosy hue on his own tanned cheeks drew out your own smile in return.

You let out a quiet laugh of your own, “of course, how could I forget?” throwing him a bigger smile he took a proud stance with his hands on his hips, but before he could respond the dread flooded your mind again and you let out a groan. “It doesn't change the fact that I'm going to fail… then Lucifer will have MY head.”

It didn't help that you already saw yourself as the weak link to the exchange program, the angels were excellent at everything. The only other human, Solomon, was more than accustomed to the ways of the demon world so he was doing just as well as everyone expected him to do. With his magical prowess and unfathomable knowledge, it was no wonder why everyone expected greatness… then there's you, struggling to even keep your head above the water that is a passing grade in most of your classes.

Shifting yourself to stand once more, you had to work. Mammon halts your movements by placing his hands back on your shoulders. “Oi! Stop being so stubborn.” you open your mouth to retort but he just lifts a finger in front of your face silencing you. “We are watchin’ a movie and you are gonna deal with it!” he huffs with finality leaving you to groan.

As if reading your mind Mammon sat himself down next to you, his voice taking the gentler tone again. “I… I'll help ya study tomorrow, a-alright?” not meeting your eyes you saw the hue rising on his face once more as he shuffles himself back on the bed to lean his back on the wall while plucking up the remote that laid on your pillow to turn on the T.V. “I’ll even get Satan to help if it will stop you stressin’ so much.”

The sound of the TSL theme song filled the room as you stared at the blushing demon sat on your bed. It was obvious he cared about you even if he didn't want to admit it out loud. That thought alone had a soft warmth spreading through your body. Letting out your final sigh of the night you admitted defeat, scooting yourself back to claim the space next to him.

“Thank you, Mammon. You're the best,” you spoke quietly while leaning your head down onto his shoulder. You felt him physically stiffen next to you. Just because he had hugged you didn't mean you could get all cosy with him now. Not wanting to make him uncomfortable you moved to sit back up properly, however, the arm you were just resting on flew out to circle around your back and gripping your upper arm pulling you back towards him, forcing a sharp breath of surprise out of you as your face landed on his chest.

You were about to question him, tell him he didn't need to hold you anymore but he spoke first. “Damn right I'm the best! Don't you go forgetting it again, human!” despite his bold declaration you could hear the underlying shyness in his voice. You bite your lip to stop your giggle; you simply grin snuggling further into his side. It didn't take long for your eyes to grow heavy.

The sound of Mammon's rhythmic heartbeat was drawing you in like the most perfect lullaby, melting away the stress that had been building for weeks. In this moment, everything was perfectly calm, you felt safe and knew you weren't alone in this hectic adventure in the land of demons. Unable and unwilling to fight the sleep washing over you, your eyes fluttered closed as you lay in the arms of the demon you were undeniably in love with.

As the tendrils of slumber overtook your senses you heard his soothing voice reaching you before your world fell into a restful dreamless sleep.

“You are perfect...Good night, my human.”

#written by Angel💜#obey me!#obey me! mammon #obey me mammon x reader #obey me x reader #obey me reader insert #mammon x reader #obey me oneshots #obey me fanfic #obey me fic #( MAMMON . )#long post

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queenharumiura · 3 years

Note

Hayato looked at the window, he has been in the hospital for a few months now as he wasn't sure who he was, all that they knew was the little they could find on his wallet. Name and from where he was, although the information was all false, but they still used the false name. A few days later he was finally found as he stares at the woman in front of him. "Who are you?" A nurse got in looking confused. "Oh miss? Are you lost? This patient doesn't have a family." - TYL bc I CAN.

[Unprompted ask] One r00d prompt after another. I don’t know if I did this one justice, but I sure did try! I hope I kick you in the feels.

Haru woke up to find herself in a hospital one day. Racking her brain, she could vaguely remember an explosion of some sort? She looked herself over to see bandages wrapped over every which way on her limbs. She couldn’t help but sigh in lament. “Surely he wouldn’t mind a scar or two… right? If he did, I married the wrong man.” She joked to herself, fighting depressing thoughts with something more light-hearted. Her stuff lay right beside her on a table.

Within the few months that Gokudera had gone missing without a word, Haru had done her best to fill in, but it was obvious that she could not do a perfect job. Not to disparage her own intelligence, but Gokudera was also extremely intelligent in his own right. That much she had to begrudgingly admit. Additionally, there were some things that required brute strength, something she did not have.

The most she could do is use her intelligence to quickly go through paperwork and make heads or tails of things. Whatever required brute force, she’d have to trouble someone else to get the job done. It would be a lie to say that Haru wasn’t a mess, overwork was evident in her face from all the all nighters she’d pull.

Gokudera probably thought he could go crazy with how busy he was when he filled in for Tsuna, who had passed away, but what about her? She now had to fill in FOR THE FILL IN! On top of that, she was riddled with worry about how her husband had been missing for months.

Even now the Vongola was struggling to stay afloat, but everyone was pitching in to help, and for that, she was grateful. For some time, Haru started acting as the proxy for the ailing Storm Guardian, stating that he had returned from a dangerous mission and needed time to recover. As his wife, she was speaking for him.

Of course, that was a lie. No one else knew except for a select few that Gokudera was missing in action. It was stressful to say the very least and she worried day and night about where that husband of hers was, but she never voiced a word of complaint to anyone. She had to stay strong and do her best for whenever Gokudera returned.

She would occasionally attend meetings and do her best to live her life as normally as she could, but things were never that easy. As she spearheaded her way to involving herself deeper in the mafia politics, the more dangerous things became for her. The more horrors she had to face. The very things that Gokudera had shielded her eyes from over the years.

She felt guilty for sure, but she also felt upset. Was she that untrustworthy of a wife that he didn’t want to tell her these things? No, she knew that it was likely a vain answer such as, ‘not wanting to make you worry too much.’ How silly. The moment they exchanged their marriage vows, they agreed to accept everything about the other. No matter how dangerous and scary things were, she would have to put up with it and push through.

This is how a Yakuza wife must feel in those movies. She couldn’t stay here for long. Taking her stuff from the side table, she climbed off the bed. With no one around, she went walking down the halls, searching for someone who could discharge her when she came to a sudden stop. There, staring out the window was a familiar figure. “Hayato?” She rushed over to his side, grabbing his face in her hands to get a good look at him. It’s him.

She recognized those eyes everywhere. Every scar she remembered (and a few new ones) were exactly where she remembered them to be. When he asked her who she was, she jumped back in surprise. Was this a joke? She searched his eyes and realized that he wasn’t joking. He couldn’t remember her. How much memory loss did he have? Was it that he forgot about her entirely, or he couldn’t recognize her? Did he forget about the Vongola?

Just how bad was his situation that he, with his incredibly memory, forgot everything? ‘It’s possible that his mind forced him to forget so he could focus on recovery.’ Did that mean he had to forget about her too?

Right, she probably gave him more stress than anything, huh? She felt like deadweight before, but she felt utterly useless now.

Next, a nurse came in to tell her that he didn’t have a family.

What nonsense was that? He had a family! He had a wife, and he had a half-sister, who was still alive, mind you. She was about to say something, but something came to mind. The nameplate aside his bed, the lack of a wedding band.

This man was her husband, but also wasn’t her husband at the same time. He had a new identity here at this hospital. He couldn’t remember her or the vows they exchanged back then. Perhaps, he’d be happier living out this life here unaware of the dangers his previous life offered him?

No, if his memory would ever return, he wouldn’t forgive her for leaving him there. She fiddled with her wedding band on her finger, hiding it from view. Yes, it was better this way if he didn’t remember a thing.

“No… I recognize him, he has a family. He has a half-sister who I can call to come pick him up.” She glanced at the hand that wasn’t wearing his wedding band one last time before she looked away. “He’d gone missing a few months ago and we’ve been looking everywhere like crazy.” She spoke as steadily as she could, but the shake in her voice couldn’t be disguised. Before tears welled up in her eyes, she bit her bottom lip hard enough that she could taste metal. “Please give me a moment, I’ll make the call.”

The woman left the room and made a call, making arrangements to bring him home, and telling for Bianchi to come with a different identity, one that would match the backstory of the identity Gokudera had according to what he carried in his wallet.

…

“You didn’t tell him? That you’re married?” Bianchi asked as she handed Haru a cup of coffee that she got from a vending machine. She had finished talking to the doctors about getting Gokudera discharged. They were getting him ready to leave.

“No, I thought it would be better for him not to know. I want him to focus on recovery.” Haru said as she took a sip of the bitter coffee. “Don’t you think you could help him recover by being by his side?” Bianchi questioned, unsure of why Haru was being this passive. Before, Haru would insist on being by his side, nursing him back to health. She would’ve fought tooth and nail to ensure his steady recovery.

It was something that Bianchi always liked about Haru, her earnest nature in caring for those she loved. It was something that she could relate to, after all. Unfortunately, Reborn was gone from this world.

For a time, Haru was the only one who could understand her feelings of the anxiety losing a loved one, but that didn’t comfort her. After all, the one Haru ‘lost’ at the time was her own brother. So Haru’s passive behavior was questionable.

A bitter smile flashes across Haru’s face, her thumbs rubbing against the warmth of the coffee cup. “You know, I’m going to do it. Be a messenger.”

“You-! Absolutely not! Who put such a stupid idea in your head!? You know what happened to the last messenger! They killed him!”

The younger woman didn’t react, taking another sip of her coffee. “They demand to see someone who has some rank within the Vongola. I may not be an able fighter, nor am I heavily involved with politics… but I am the wife of the right hand man. That in itself gives me enough rank to qualify. This is to show our ‘sincerity’ about wanting to proceed with peace talks.”

This was a woman who was determined to do something for the sake of others. She may be somewhat of a coward, but Haru always seemed to have a heart of a lion if it meant she had to protect something. In this case, she had her friends and her family to protect.

Haru had the confidence in being able to hold her own in peace talks, but she’d be thinking too optimistically to assume the Millefiore weren’t simply asking for another sacrifice to make an example of.

Logically speaking, she was the best option. They could fulfill their sick desires and the Vongola, in theory, wouldn’t lose much. She wasn’t a fighter. She historically wasn’t involved in politics. She only involved herself recently due to Gokudera being MIA. Sure, the Vongola would lose some face, but their battle strength won’t weaken with her death.

Who knows? Maybe they’ll become stronger in the name of vengeance. Wouldn’t that be nice if that’s what they needed to win?

“Even so, that doesn’t mean that you-“ “I know my status. My rank is empty. We can lose another guardian or an able fighter. Letting me go would yield the smallest damage. I’m sure if Hayato regained his memories, he’d volunteer himself to go, but… Bianchi… I’ve already lost him once, haven’t it? I can’t lose him again, don’t make me do it.” Haru’s stony countenance shattered as she broke down into tears.

Did she want to die? No. Did she fear death? Yes, but she feared losing Hayato far more than that. She already thought she’d lost him before and she refused to send him off to his death a second time.

Bianchi quietly pat her back, understanding the conviction the woman had to keep her husband safe. She understood the sacrifice that Haru was steeling herself for in order to ensure the Vongola didn’t lose out on too much.

She understood it all logically, but she still didn’t want to admit to it. This girl, was her brother’s wife. That meant she was her dear sister-in-law. Why did things have to turn out this way? It was incredibly vexing and unfair.

“He’d never forgive you.” He would never forgive Bianchi either for letting Haru go as a messenger. She hoped that by saying this, she could shake Haru’s resolve.

The brown-haired woman pulled away from Bianchi, wiping away her fallen tears, steeling her heart once more. “The dead don’t ask for forgiveness. I’ll find a way to convince everyone. If we’re lucky, they won’t touch me, a non-combatant.”

That’s a lie.

“It’s too dangerous to send a guardian there, and they’re needed on other missions.” That’s the truth, and she’d know, because she had a hand at assigning guardians to different tasks. She’d purposefully sent many of them away so they couldn’t stop her and volunteer themselves instead.

As much as she believed in their strength, it was too much to assume anyone could get out alive when in the middle of the Millefiore base with all their forces looking down on you. It was much too risky, and organizing a rescue mission would be even more tricky.

She believed it best to simply use someone as a discardable piece and she nominated herself.

“Don’t tell him about anything. Let him heal at his own pace. Hopefully, he’ll never remember about me, that way, he won’t ever had to lose me.” You can’t lose someone if you can’t remember them.

What a blessing in disguise. “There has to be another way.”

Haru shook her head. If there was a plan that had a good probability of succeeding, Haru would gladly take the option, but there wasn’t. The Millefiore was just too strong and their hands reached far. It wasn’t worth the risk of losing a guardian or two for a plan that had less of a 10% chance of succeeding.

“I won’t hesitate to sacrifice myself to protect everyone for a while longer. I’m sure Tsuna-san and Hayato would’ve done the same. Think of it as me giving back for all the times I was protected.” She was going to make herself truly useful.

“If… he ever regains his memories… tell him I’m sorry for being selfish.” She didn’t want to lose him again. Hopefully her sacrifice would push the Vongola in the direction of victory.

Surely, he could find someone better. Someone who could help him more than she could.

…

“Those bastards! Who let her go through with this!?”

“How did she die?”

“The tests show poison. She hid it within her ring. Where did she get her hands on such a thing?” Eyes turned to look at a certain individual who said nothing.

She could only remember something Haru said a couple days ago:

“If they’re serious about a peace treaty, I’ll do fine. If it’s a ruse, I’ll make sure they can’t get any useful information out of me.” She fiddled with her ring that had a mechanism to inject her with lethal poison should the situation go down south.

It was a bit morbid, but adding this feature to her wedding ring was poetic in her mind. Before she could be used, she would save herself with death.

Bianchi looked down at the woman laying in the casket that the Millefiore had so ‘graciously’ sent to them filled with Edelweiss flowers, symbolizing courage and devotion.

“Don’t let her sacrifice go to waste. We have work to do.”

#Thehandworld #Answered ask #thanks for the ask!#Haru speaks #((Muse; Gokudera))#((You wanna torment me with amnesia? I'll one up with straight up sacrificing Haru))#((How is that for an angst train? The last one was tame but how about this?))#((It still feels a bit tame for me but just imagine he regains his memories and finds out she died. HA))#((The true angst is in the post events))

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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Mer-made For Each Other (Crystal x Gigi) - Mina

A/N: I’ve had this mermaid au in my drafts for ages and finally deemed it ready to post. I have a fun enemies to lovers thing coming out sometime this week so look forward to that, I hope you like this! As always you can come yell at me on @goodemornting :)

Summary: There’s something weird about Crystal’s new neighbour, the shy and shrimp-loving Gigi Goode. Something… fishy.

It felt like bricks were being stacked one by one on Crystal’s limbs as she trudged home from the library at nearly one o’clock on a Saturday. Her worn bookbag was slung half hazardously over her shoulder, the books inside almost certainly working to unravel the tightly woven threads meant to hold them. She felt as though she was slowly breaking down, like even a simple gust of wind could knock her over or simply erode her as if she were dust from a stone. Pulling an all nighter was definitely not the redhead’s best decision, but in the rare moment she got the motivation or the information to write her thesis, well, Crystal knew better than to ignore it.

Coffee, she needed coffee, sweetened until it could hardly be considered drinkable, but in favor of her bank account keeping steady she didn’t stop for any on the way home - a walking zombie with only one thing on her mind, said thing the plush blankets laying bed ready to welcome her back home. Tiny cheers erupted from the back of her mind when she finally reached her floor, the cheap and frayed beige carpet and faded salmon colored wallpaper a comforting sign that soon she could plummet into the depths of sleep.

But, the path to her door just happened to be blocked.

Blocked by a person carrying a box.

Crystal paused, blinking - her eyes burned with the need for sleep - and took in the figure before her who stared right back. It was a woman, pale skin peeking through a stylish black cardigan and tucked into a simple plaid skirt that ended just shy of the middle of her thighs, long legs extending to slip into modest heels. The redhead met her deep eyes - they looked black, but the light of the hall catching in them revealed a deep blue - beholding her sloping nose, lips upturned and glossy, and eyes framed by an abundance of eyelashes. Her hair was long and straight and wet, like a dark brown river dripping globs of water onto the floor as she blinked right back at Crystal with a tilt of her head.

Oh, she was cute.

“Who are you?” She asked, words echoing around through the hallway. Seconds after the words left her mouth she felt stupid. The boxes, the new woman before her, the lack of residency in the room beside prior, the landlord telling her yesterday before she had rushed out to get her materials from the library, should’ve answered that question immediately.

“Oh, um, hello,” the woman held a box between them, her arms swallowed up by the oversized cardigan. “I just moved in. I’m Gigi Goode.”

Oh, she’s very cute. And hot.

“Crystal,” She managed to mumble back with a small tired smile, “Elizabeth.”

The woman - Gigi Goode - smiled, a dainty one, her teeth extremely white and seemingly pointy like a shark. “I hope we can become friends.”

“Likewise,” The redhead reciprocated with a tiny wave, ending in a yawn that she’d feel bad about later but right now the image of her fluffy pillows is beckoning her. Crystal had meant what she said though, she certainly wouldn’t mind making friends with the supermodel next door. Especially when she was less tired.

“Ah, um, it was nice meeting you, but gestured to the door just behind her, beside the one currently propped open with a box labeled dishes. Her eyes widened when she realised Crystal was probably trying to get inside as well, audibly letting out an “Oh!” followed by an apologetic, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stop you.”

The taller woman shrugged nonchalantly in return, taking the needed steps to her door whilst digging in her jean pocket for her keys and brushing it off with a “It’s fine, nice meeting you!”

The task of fishing her keys from her pocket - which should’ve been easy because of all the chains and ornaments she stuck to them - took longer than she would’ve liked, but thankfully, she was tired and couldn’t feel any embarrassment when they finally plummeted to the beige carpet. She huffed, going to pick them up before a delicate hand got to them first. Crystal jerked back, Gigi offering her shy smile, fitting the key in easily and turning it until there’s an audible click.

“Thank…you?” The redhead mumbled, pink cheeks covered by all the makeup there in the first place. There was a salty smell to Gigi, it reminded Crystal of her trips to the beach as a child, all the sand that got caught in her hair and how much icecream she consumed every day of summer. She shook her head, trying to escape from the thoughts of how good the shorter woman might look in a swimsuit.

The brunette nodded, “Don’t mention it”, politely stepping back to the box she’d set down, picking it up easily and disappearing through her door.

Crystal decided to follow suit, making her way through her darkened apartment with practiced ease and hitting the pillows just as she heard a thud echo from the other side of the wall.

***

Two and a half had weeks passed until Crystal saw her neighbor again. Honestly that could’ve been due to the fact she left and came back to the apartment at the most ungodly hours and sometimes spent the night at her friend’s house when she couldn’t work up the energy to walk all the way from campus back to the place she pays for to sleep in. But what she noticed when she did come home is that Gigi didn’t leave her apartment much, or when she did she left for long periods of time. Whenever the redhead came home there was always a takeout box in front of her neighbor’s door from the seafood place two blocks down, no signs that anyone was out to collect it soon. Crystal tried to mind her business, but when the smell of fish always wafted through the hall, carpet permanently littered with trails of water drops, she couldn’t help but get a little curious.

It was one of the rare days Crystal actually came home when the sun was out - granted it was settling for the evening. When she entered the hall and smelt the familiar seafood she almost groaned audibly, before spotting a young kid - high school age at least - carrying the familiar takeout box and rapping his knuckles three times against Gigi’s door. The first time they met, Crystal hadn’t thought much of the dripping wet hair, but when it popped out of the door, her brain couldn’t reason that maybe the pale woman just got out of the shower. After all, most people dry their hair with a towel after bathing, not letting thick drops of water fall onto the beige carpet of the hall when they smile wide and accept more seafood.

Maybe Gigi just got hot easily? Understandable, since she was quite attractive. But why would you always have wet hair? To be fair the redhead had only seen her twice.

Crystal’s head ached, deciding that prying into her neighbours strange habits - especially when she has plenty herself - was only going to add more stress to her already way overblown stress meter, when Gigi opened her door to the child with a soft smile, immediately shifting to her gaze to Crystal.

Her cheeks stretched into a warm smile, “Oh, Neighbour!” She waved.

The taller woman paused, mentally checking how worn down she looked. Her clothes were noticeably wrinkle-free, the bags under her eyes concealed by the glasses she put on instead of contacts, and her hair was mussed. Crystal reasoned that it was a huge improvement from the past few days, hell, she wasn’t wearing sweatpants.

“Hey Gigi,” she waved back politely, “seafood again?” It was meant as a polite attempt at conversation, but the way the thin woman tensed maybe she shouldn’t have brought it up.

The laugh the brunette let out must’ve been meant to be nonchalant but it was much more stiff. “Oh, you know, just my favorite.”

Without thinking, “Really? What’s your favorite?” Crystal wished she would have just read the atmosphere and go into her apartment, sit down, and agonize over her thesis like usual instead of pry into a topic her neighbor obviously wanted to avoid. Maybe someone had thought Gigi’s love of seafood was weird and told her that and now she’s self conscious about it.

“Uh,” The pause was almost comical, the shorter woman glancing nervously at the takeout in her hands, “shrimp.”

Crystal blinked, echoing “Shrimp?”

Gigi breathed in sharply, fingers fiddling with the plastic bag. “Yes,” she said sagely, “shrimp.”

Oh. Okay.

“I like shrimp too” Crystal giggled, and that wasn’t not really a lie, as much as she used it to ease whatever awkwardness is around them.

“Oh.” Gigi’s shoulders relaxed almost immediately, “Cool.” They stared back at one another for awhile, the brunette half inside her apartment clutching a box of fishy smelling food - probably shrimp - and Crystal clutching the strap of her worn backpack slung on her shoulder.

“Well, I’ll get going now, got-“ The brunette awkwardly lifted the takeout box “-shrimp to eat.”

“Oh, yeah of course.” Crystal bowed her head politely, awkwardly shrugging her shoulders, “I’ve got a thesis to write, so.”

They exchanged one last glance, before Gigi shut her door and the redhead let out an audible sigh, returning to her own room and lighting some incense to drown out the salt water scent.

***

The next time she encountered Gigi, was at the small convenience store two buildings down from the cheap apartments, two minutes before closing at ten pm on a Tuesday.

Crystal didn’t have a reliable schedule, the owner of the store knew this, many times in the past staying open well after closing just for the poor graduate student to get some groceries so she could eat something other than instant noodles that week. Looking back, she really should’ve paid the extra thousand for the other apartment with the cramped bathroom because what she needs is a kitchen that has more than a sink, fridge, and counter space for a microwave.

Gigi locked eyes with the redhead from opposite ends of the frozen produce aisle, both visibly tensing. Crystal knew the reason she did is because she wore a oversized green hoodie and baby blue shorts that covered maybe a third of her thighs, feet protected by obnoxious pink crocs. Her hair is definitely not combed and the back is sticking up in her reflection in the freezer glass, eyes squinting unflatteringly because she’d decided against contacts and lenses.

Basically she looked horrible and her neighbor was illegally good looking for this time of night.

The taller woman averted her eyes into Gigi’s basket, quickly tucked behind her jeans before she can get a proper look. Maybe she’s embarrassed about a purchase, which was ridiculous since Crystal was carrying a comical amount of cabbage - on sale - and as luck would have it, shrimp - also on sale. Among other notable items there’s deodorant and toothpaste, the cheapest one, which happened to be melon flavored.

Gigi’s items couldn’t be that bad, not that she especially cared, approaching cheerily with the most enthusiastic “Gigi!” She could muster.

Gigi smiled back, a little forced. Crystal wondered if she’s the type to hold her tongue when someone is bothering her to much, also wondering if maybe that’s exactly what she’s doing right now. “How are you?” She asked politely, not exactly feigning interest as she turned her attention to the basket half obstructed by the other’s body.

“Just shopping,” Gigi replied, chuckling and shifting so her basket was even more hidden, “haven’t had much time lately with all my classes.”

“I know what you mean,” Crystal sighed out of understanding, giving up taking a peak at the mystery contents of the brunettes basket, “I haven’t gotten to a store in two weeks.”

“Oh, that’s sad.” Her neighbour chuckled, anxiously shifting from foot to foot, “Well, the store should be closing soon so I’m gonna,” Gigi motioned past her, awkwardly beginning to sidestep with her basket still concealed, but turning as she walked so it couldn’t be seen.

“Oh yeah, gotta hurry myself,” Crystal shook her own basket, returning a nervous smile and starting to awkwardly make her exit, “see you around neighbor!”

Gigi nodded, smile stretched stiffy across her face, walking backwards to conceal her basket behind her long pale legs. Man, Crystal was really curious about what exactly she’s buying that she wanted to hide so much. The redhead kept walking, plucking a popsicle from one freezer, and then ducking around the aisle to wait for Gigi to finally turn back around. Once she saw a relieved sigh huffed from the pretty neighbor’s lips, turning around and relaxing her grin, Crystal snuck a picture with her cellphone, quickly zooming into the contents of the basket.

And it’s just—lotion.

For the first few seconds zoomed in on the familiar looking bottles of moisturizing lotions and creams, Crystal was very confused. Very lost.

Why would the brunette need that much? There was no way that that was all that was in there but moving the zoomed in area around didn’t reveal any other contents beside foundation and a protein bar that tastes like sand in your mouth in her experienced opinion.

Was that why her skin was so smooth? She literally bathed in lotions and moisturisers?

Crystal shook her head at the ridiculous thoughts, especially the one of Gigi in a bathtub, flailing limbs sticking out of a thick cream of white and off-white lotions, rubbing it into said limbs as she closed her eyes in lotion-ey bliss. The redhead needed more sleep, she realized, waiting until Gigi left to purchase her items and lag a bit behind so she didn’t try to strike up more conversation and say something stupid or flirty.

***

She lay in bed - her mattress on the floor stacked high with blankets because her old bed frame broke - staring at the ceiling, laptop set aside as she pondered.

What was Crystal pondering?

It should’ve been her thesis, due date looming ever so close as she spent more moments like this not working on it.

No, the graduate student thought about how much she wanted to make an actual meal. How much she missed eating more than icecream and salad every night. Crystal couldn’t even afford to get chicken delivered, or even go pick it up herself. Her kitchen was tucked beside her bathroom, no microwave, and cabbage gets really old after two weeks of nothing but cabbage and the occasional piece of shrimp. The scent of saltwater wafted to her nose as it usually did, the redhead starting to relate the scent to the arrival of her neighbour as it and the aroma of seafood - specifically shrimp? - always seemed to fill the hallway when Gigi was around. No one had complained yet, but really that could be because Nicky from across the hall was weak to Gigi’s looks just like Crystal, or that Jan on the other side of the apartment burned sandalwood incense 24/7 which was quite permeating like the sea scent as well.

The redhead lamented how pretty her brunette neighbor was, ignoring the ever growing hole in her stomach of not focusing on her work to instead consider how if only she came and went from her apartment at normal times she could maybe have a proper neighbourly conversation with Gigi about, well, something that neighbours normally talk about. But no, she had better things to do, like not work on her thesis. Her thesis on what jellyfish stings can power, which was quite an interesting topic if you thought about it.

She heard a loud thud from next door, jumping slightly at the unexpected noise. It wasn’t the sound of the door shutting, no, it was the sound of something hitting the ground, heavy.

Crystal lifted her head, looking over at the wall she shared with Gigi and furrowing her brows. She herself was definitely clumsy, but her neighbor, her seemingly always put together, not a strand of hair left uncombed neighbour, I drink strawberry tea and go running for fun neighbour, had dropped something that heavy on accident?

She waited, the hum of her fridge loud in the silent apartment, until she heard a muffled ‘shit’ followed by the sound of bottles clattering to the floor.

Honestly she didn’t know why, but she hopped to her feet, red hair bouncing behind her as she exited her apartment and knocked loudly on the shorter woman’s door, calling “Gigi?”

A muffled voice murmured something through the door quietly, Crystal suddenly thinking maybe it’d have been better if she’d knocked through the wall. But the thought that maybe Gigi had fell and hurt herself overpowered her so she tentatively twisted the door handle, elated to find that it was unlocked.

The smell of seaweed and oceans swarmed her as soon as she entered the apartment hesitantly, footsteps slicing through the otherwise silent hallway. “Are you okay? It’s just me, your neighbour!”

It was the same exact apartment Crystal owned, if only reversed and the walls being painted an off white colour compared to her own mint green, so she moved with shy certainty to where Gigi presumably hid behind the bathroom door.

“I-I’m alright,” The brunette called frantically, voice unsteady and breathy. “I just lost my footing, you didn’t need to come over.”

Crystal ignored her, placing a hand on the bathroom door handle getting ready to open it after she responded, “I’m sorry, I was worried you might’ve hit your head.” She paused, debating whether her next words might come off to strong. “Can I come in?”

“Uh-“ Gigi seemed to knock over more bottles in response, the sound causing Crystal to fuck it, pull the door fully open so she could see just what was happening.

The bathtub was full of water, spilling onto the tiled floor, pink coloured bubbles consuming the tub. The familiar bottles of lotion and moisturizers she recognised from the sneakily taken photo are scattered on the floor, and Crystal’s eyes focused on the center of the room. Gigi was naked, but that seemed quite unimportant compared to the fact that her pale skin - the redhead remembers it being smooth and glowing - was bumpy, textured, overlapping?

It reminded her of fish scales.

Fish scales.

Fish, gills, long slits in the skin stretched across her ribs, opening and closing with each huff of Gigi’s chest.

Crystal knew her jaw had bid goodbye to her skull, hanging open as she stared wide eyed back into similar shocked blue eyes. They were both silent, the slosh of water over the side of the tub making loud splatting sounds with each wave of overflow.

“You’re a,” Crystal wasn’t really sure what, but “fish?” Is what comes out.

Gigi’s eyes scrunched immediately, a look of shock quickly subsiding into disbelief. “Excuse me?”

“You’re a fish?” Crystal repeated, wearing disbelief as well but of a different cloth.

“I—no,” The brunette sputtered, shaking her head, “what?”

“You,” She raised a hand to motion at the gills and scales, “what are those?”

Her neighbor kept her mouth shut, obviously trying to find the words, or maybe a believable excuse, but soon the time is passing to make an excuse for what Crystal can’t pass off as a dream the longer she sees it.

“I’m a - uh - a fish person? Not a fish,” She began, quickly shutting down anymore fish thoughts, “whatever you call us.”

Crystal felt like her jaw might actually detach and fall to the floor. “You’re a mermaid?” She managed to breath out, barely audible.

“Yes.” The fish woman calmly replied, holding her gaze. It’s then that Crystal looked down at the long, scaled legs supporting Gigi’s body, eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“But why don’t you have a tail?” She questioned, motioning at the other’s lower half.

“I should have a tail, but obviously there’s not enough water for that to happen right now.” Gigi scoffed, narrowing her eyes as though Crystal was the weird one, “Some have legs or fish heads, both, or neither, or it could depend on natural stuff,” she pointed to herself.

The redhead blinked a few times, turning to glance at her own, very not fishlike reflection in the mirror, before stepping out and shutting the bathroom door.

A moment passed, Crystal standing silently behind the barrier in Gigi’s living room. She took a deep breath, convincing herself that maybe the cabbage she had eaten beforehand was rotten and she was hallucinating, and then -

The door opened back up and she stepped through, looking her neighbor up and down again scrutinizingly. She still sat very much fishlike in the pink bubbles, scales glistening in the water. Shit.

“I don’t believe you,” She finally concluded, “you’re just,” Crystal pursed her lips in thought, nose twitching, “good at special effects makeup.”

Gigi rolled her eyes, giving a death stare at the taller woman. She grabbed a towel from the rack on the wall beside her, emerging from the bubble bath and wrapping it around her exposed body hastily, reminding Crystal that she herself was the one who had stormed in on a naked unsuspecting fish person.

A fish person.

“Sorry to burst your bubble,” Gigi adjusted the towel slightly, getting it comfortably around her hips and then itching around a gill, “but I’m the real thing.”

Crystal laughed disingenuously through a frown. “Oh, you’re so funny.”

“This isn’t a joke,” The fish - no, her neighbour, deadpanned.

“Oh you,” The redhead chuckled, slowly shutting the door as she backed away, “be careful and enjoy your bath!”

The door clicked shut again.

And Crystal promptly returned home to stare up at her ceiling instead of work on her thesis, head positively swarming with reasonable explanations as to what the fuck just happened in her pretty neighbours bathroom. She could hardly breathe, practically choking with the knowledge that holy fuck, actual mermaids existed.

It wasn’t long after she’d sat there on her mattress that there was an incessant knocking at her door, and Crystal knew - barely a few minutes had passed - that it was her neighbour. A small glimmer of hope that it was all a dream filled her as she stumbled to her feet and tugged open the door in between the succession of knocks. Of course that hope wad crushed when she saw the peek of grey-blue scales from under the lilac sweater Gigi had thrown on, around the ankles exposed by the grey sweatpants, gold shimmer catching in the flickering hallway lights. Her long dark hair was still wet, much like the first two times they’d met, drops hitting the floor gently.

“Can I come in?” The mermaid - there was no point in denying it anymore - asked, eyes wandering down the hall nervously - probably because her scales was on display.

Crystal wondered how she could show so much skin all the other times without those slightly darker pigmented scales being as apparent as they were now. She realised that she hadn’t replied when Gigi impatiently entered, hand on the redheads shoulder pushing her back into her apartment and closing the door with the other.

“Sorry, I just,” She shifted uncomfortably, “don’t want to be seen, again.”

“No uh,” Crystal felt apologetic now, seeing Gigi’s nervous stance, making her wait anxiously in the hall, “I’m sorry too.”

It fell terribly silent, not for lack of words, but lack of where to start. Gigi was obviously there for a reason, and Crystal definitely had some minor questions.

Finally - “You can’t tell anyone,” The brunette asserted, sharp eyes narrowed seriously although she picked up a twinge of uncertainty behind them.

“That’s a given,” Crystal nodded, scratching her neck awkwardly, “I don’t know if anyone would even believe me if I wanted or did tell them, so..”

The sigh her neighbour let out then is relieved, as much as it could be in the face of her secret being revealed. Crystal wasn’t sure of the full extent of said secret, but that’s probably for the best.

“What exactly does being a fish person mean,” The tan woman asked, “for you? And me, I guess?”

The brunette stared bullets into her, expressionless for a second, before her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Why?”

She shrugged, shifting awkwardly, “Cause I’m curious?”

“Why?” Gigi repeated.

“Cause you’re Interesting?” Crystal regretted making it sounding like a question.

“I’m interesting? Because I’m a fish person?” The fish person scoffed, scratching impulsively at the scales shining near her clavicles.

“Wouldn’t you be interested if I was like,” Crystal tried to think of a strange animal, “a donkey person?” Wolf person, werewolf. She could’ve gone with werewolf.

Gigi looked utterly caught off guard, staring at the redheads face for a long moment. Crystal watched the exact moment her eyes begin to crinkle, cheeks bunching, and her pink lips parted to release a breathy laugh. It’s not what she’d expected at all, but quite welcome after the slew of things that just happened. Gigi looked pretty cute when she laughed, even if it was teasingly directed at her.

“If you must know,” The younger calmed down, taking a few breaths in and out to stop her snickers, “mermaids are mostly the upper body of a human and the lower of a fish. In my case, the tail only comes out when my legs are surrounded by a lot of water, if that makes sense.”

The redhead hummed, “So there’s like different species of mermaid then?”

“I guess?” Gigi giggled with a shrug, “Most of us have human features but ocean attributes, its rarer for the whole tail and normal head thing.”

“Wait then,” She paused, brief image of a mermaid lying seductively on a rock coming to mind, except this time it’s a fish with legs which caused her to snort with a grin, “not all fish people are actually the maneating beauties they’re said to be?”

Gigi snorted herself - admittedly much more attractively than Crystal had - shaking her head, “Of course they aren’t, that’s why mermaids are a myth.”

“And they actually live among us, eating lots of shrimp?” Crystal asked with wide eyes, suddenly wondering just how many mermaids she might’ve met in her lifetime.

The other paused, meeting her eyes once more. “Look,” she started, “you can’t take pictures underwater. Cameras and the ocean don’t mix, trust me I tried.”

“Waterproof cameras,” She deadpanned.

“They’re expensive, how long do you think it took me to save up for this apartment?” Gigi retorted, picking at her manicured nails that shimmered under deep green polish.

“Probably would’ve been faster to just save up for a waterproof camera,” Crystal hummed in return.

The mermaid huffed, rolling her eyes, “Land is way more interesting than sea.”

“Oh,” The taller perked up in curiosity, “so you’re, like, sticking around?”

Gigi grinned, “For now, thinking of becoming a photographer, you know.”

“Cool.”

A silent moment passed before Gigi seemingly remembered why she even came over, shifting back towards the door. “Anyway, uh, thank you for your silence,” she dipped her head politely, some dark brown strands of hair falling around her face. “I’ll be,” she pointed at the door, other hand wrapping around the handle, “on my way.”

“Oh uh,” Crystal reached out, pulling her hand off the door gently, “wait, would you like to, maybe, go somewhere sometime? Together?”

Gigi looked back at her with a confused frown, hand tensing in the taller woman’s grip. “Why?”

The redhead sighed, rolling her eyes, “Why else?”

“What do you mean ‘why else’?”

For a second Crystal thought Gigi was messing with her, but by the way she waited patiently for an answer she knew she really didn’t have a clue. And honestly at this point the redhead was grateful for that, deciding not to spell it out.

“When are you next free?” She asked.

The mermaid quirked a brow in even more curiosity, “Thursday, why?”

“Okay, on Thursday I’m gonna come and get you and we’re going to go eat somewhere together,” Crystal announced, voice shaking slightly.

“Okay?” Gigi replied without missing a beat, hesitantly opening the door, “Goodbye?”

“Yep, see you Thursday!” Crystal waved, shooing her out.

The other watched her curiously all the way out the door until she shut it with finality. Alone once more, she inhaled a deep breath and let it out loudly, ringing her hands together as she tried desperately to clear her mind.

It was then that her door suddenly opened back up, startling Crystal into turning around meeting Gigi’s eyes with a gaping mouth.

“Is it gonna be a date?” She questioned, cheeks a little flushed, scales still visible.

“Y-yes” She admitted, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

Another second, and then Gigi turned and left once more with a quick “Wear something warm, it might be cold. Also I’m not paying.”

It seemed as though Crystal did have a date this Thursday. With a fish person. And she felt strangely okay with that.

#rpdr fanfiction #crystal methyd #gigi goode #crygi #lesbian au #mermaid au #fluff #mina #submission #s12

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strikearose · 5 years

Text

It’s all about connections (SasuNaru) (Part 1)

Finally, here’s the very first part of the !YoutubeSasuNaru story - the idea’s quite silly but I had fun writing it so hope you guys enjoy it! (English is not my first language so please don’t be too much of a grammar nazi Summary : Sasuke has had that massive crush on a youtuber for years when Rasengan randomly starts going to his class. You can also read it on ff.net and ao3. Part 1 (here), Part 2 (clic), Part 3 (clic), Part 4 (clic)

Poc.

The ball of paper missed its trajectory and crashed into the corner of the wall, barely half an inch away from the waste basket that originally intended. The student didn’t mind, though - he was far too busy trying to finish his economics presentation that was due for the next day.

Despite the fact that many of his classmates insisted on seeing him as a relentless hardworking student, Sasuke Uchiha was very much like any other normal twenty-one year old boy : a procrastinator at heart. So it was precisely on the night before the big day that he finally decided to finish it, even though he had had all of his vacation time to do so. Well - it would be a lie to say that it would take a superhuman effort to accomplish that task, but unfortunately the young man had another flaw: he was a perfectionist.

Even if he had to pull an all-nighter or give nothing back at all, Sasuke had always refused to be average - because before (and in addition of) setting high standards for others, he would always set himself very high standards.

The black-haired man frowned as he read what he had written on the previous line and, impulsively, he ended up tearing up the entire page of his notebook and threw it on the floor.

However, the paper pellet did not make a Poc - as he had, this time, managed to reach the bin, it made a Ting instead : he had just received a notification.

His mind being elsewhere, the student rummaged around on his desk, looking for his phone. It wasn’t a text message, but a Youtube alert. One of his Subscriptions had just uploaded a new video. Sasuke took a quick look at the time (1:03 am) and let a loud sight when he saw how long the video was: fifty-seven minutes.

Of course, it has to be Rasengan.

He was the only one there who could publish a barely edited gaming review at such odd hours. One hour of uncut video was too much, even if it was to discuss the New Zelda. ‘That moron clearly don’t understand how the logistics of youtube work,’ the young man thought while stretching his legs under the table in order to get into a more comfortable position.

Because even though Sasuke might found the Youtuber’s marketing choices quite stupid and questionable - he was still his favorite. The only one he was following so.. assiduously.

And if he was really going to pull an all-nighter in order to finish his presentation on time, he might as well relax a little on the go

The coffee machine finally agreed (even though it sure had taken its’ sweet time) to give him his change money, but it still wasn’t not enough to lift Sasuke’s spirit. He really had spent his entire night working on the presentation. Well - he even had to give up his usual fifteen minutes of hot morning shower for just three minutes of shampoo-rinse-toothbrush altogether to make sure that everything was perfect.

But at last - there he was ! His eyelids stung horribly and he could feel the dark circles hollowing out his eyes, but everything was finally ready to make sure he would receive his usual congratulations for the seriousness and thoroughness of his work.

An amused grin escaped his lips when he looked into the face of Kiba Inuzuka, one of his classmates - a gamer and procrastinator emeritus who unfortunately didn’t have enough wits to back it up. With some luck, they would be called in alphabetical order for once and it would save Inuzuka the embarrassment of going Sasuke’s presentation.

Or maybe not.

Sasuke left the cafeteria just as the legendary lack of luck of the dog-loving student seemed to catch up with him:

« FOR FUCK’S SAKE NARUTO DON’T PUT YOUR DR PEPPER ON TOP OF MY COMPUTER ! »

« Hey Sasuke, did you also get Ichiraku’s mail about the internship? »

Shikamaru Nara calmly called out the black-haired young man as he sat down.

« Yes, I got it. And my documents have been signed and validated by the office earlier today.

- Cool, mine too, Shikamaru sighed. ‘t'was about time. »

He nodded his head knowingly: all the steps of searching, finding and getting the official documents concerning the internship signed were an unspeakable mess. Luckily, though, his partner this time was not a nutcase of Zaku Abumi’s caliber.

The Nara was placidly calm (Sasuke wouldn’t dream of seeing him threatening the Dean of blowing up the uni if he were to fail the exams) and quite intelligent: in short, he was one of his peers. And their little discussions were not too unpleasant.

« Well, we’ll talk later about carpooling?

- Yeah. And also dividing the task.

- Yeah, no problems, Shikamaru sighed as he turned away - tired in advance of the amount of work ahead. Ah, good luck with your presentation by the way. »

Pfft.

He didn’t even bother to answer.

Wishing him luck ? Sasuke gladly left ‘good luck’ to losers such as Inuzuka or Sarutobi who were very likely to be sending prayers at that very moment to every heavenly spirit existing, Jashin included, to have the course delayed.

Good luck ?

Sasuke definitely didn’t need it.

He was brilliant, meticulous and confident: talking in front of sixty or more people didn’t bother him at all - unlike the younger Hyuuga who getting more and more on the verge of fainting as she practiced her speech. More than that, it was even something he enjoyed. Knowing every aspect of a subject - mastering it ; defending it tooth and nail, tearing apart every remark made by his opponents until they surrender..

Some malicious people would say that Sasuke liked to boast on stage, that he was too arrogant. That he was far too pleased to thwart the traps set by his teachers, to answer the questions of his classmates with a smirk. A smirk just visible enough to make them understand how foolish he thought their interventions were. Or worse, that he had precisely expected for a moron to make that remark, thus allowing him to assert his assistance with a dutifully prepared response.

Saying that Sasuke Uchiha sometimes behaved like a complete asshole would be quite slanderous - indeed.

Because, no he did not.

He was brilliant, meticulous, confident… and humble on top of that.

« Hurry up, Kiba, I think it’s already started!

- You should have eat your lunch quicker ! »

The two latecomers were forced to take the front row seats of the auditorium while Sasuke finished to prepare. The slide show was on, the cable was connected - he was simply waiting for Mr. Hatake’s approval to start.

« And to finish with and anticipate some questions you may have, I’d like to add that while the data I used regarding market flows may be from two thousand and four, other studies that I have provided in the appendix tend to show that all exchanges concerning telephony have been profitable thanks to the takeover of the company by its competitor three years ago. »

Click.

He couldn’t have done better.

The teacher scribbled an umpteenth inscription on his rating form with a discreet approving wink and Uchiha smiled smugly.

Perfect - everything had gone on smoothly.

His onyx eyes wandered around the room: not surprisingly, half the auditorium hadn’t listen a word to what he had said, too focused on themselves (and the realization of their own projects).

Pfft.

The other half, however, completed his little moment of glory: some of them shook the head in bitterness, disappointed in what they had done in comparison, others gave him an admiring look. In the distance, Shikamaru nodded his head slowly while the Egyptian fury sited beside him, more belligerent, pretended to stifle a yawn.

But Sasuke quickly looked away, his mouth pinched, as he saw the thumb up that Lee Rock had kindly addressed to his attention. Lee was overall quite a nice fellow - Sasuke himself had to recognize it, - but no.

Just no.

« Well, if no one has any question, because I don’t have one either, let’s move on to the next presentation, Kakashi Hatake thought for a moment as he watched over the assembly. Inuzuka, you, in the front row? Well, that’s great, now’s your turn. »

Sasuke, quite disdainfully elated, was about to come down from the stage when a voice stopped him dead in his tracks:

« Oops, you’re in deep shit, Kiba! »

That particular tone was familiar to him.

Strangely familiar.

« Heyyyyy everybody! I know, I know, sorry! I promised to upload more often… But sometimes I just completely forget to turn the cam on. Or to remove the lens cover ahah! Anyway, today…- »

…

Come to think of it, Sasuke knows that he should have, at least, tried to make it look like it wasn’t that big of a deal. He should have try to tighten his jaw, clench his teeth or even hold his breath until he could return to his seat but of course - he didn’t.

That damn brain of his really had to go on mental-break down as he looked over to the lips from which those sweet, sweet words had just escaped.

He literally froze on the spot.

HOLY FREAKING FUCKING FUCK.

Why the hell did Rasengan have to show up in his class on the very-day he looked like utter shit?!

Sasuke let himself fell on a chair of the uni library. The research room, fortunately, was still quite empty - this haven of peace was the only place where, he was ready to stake his life on it, this stupid Inuzuka had not and would never set foot in.

Yes - Sasuke Uchiha had simply run away : with clenched fists, he had spent the forty-two minutes separating him from the end of the class to scrutinize meticulously the auditorium clock’s second hand. He had tried everything: scrolling down his twitter feed, pretending to be interested in what was happening downstairs, humming softly a bit of that stupid Latin-sounding song that his brother Itachi kept playing in the car, but nothing helped. That same frightening moment was played again and again in his mind:

Meeting certain cerulean eyes had literally made him go speechless. If he had for a long time now suspected the blond guy of drowning his instagram pictures with saturated filters, he was now forced to admit that this guy had the bluest eyes he had ever seen.

And by blue, Sasuke wasn’t talking about that pale, bland cyan that Ino Yamanaka, a high school ‘friend’ he often saw in the cafeteria, boasted about - no, Rasengan’s pupils were of a deep, bright, intense blue. It wasn’t a grey that stretched to be too light or green; his eyes were neither grayish nor turquoise: they were blue. Irrevocably blue.

Wonderfully blue.

The more he thought about it, the less Uchiha was willing to accept it: there was no way a guy who spent at least twelve hours a day on screens could have such marvelous eyes. He probably wore contact lenses, yeah, there was no other explanation.

All Sasuke could remember was meeting that seing that blue and then - nothing. His foot had stayed up in the air, his breathing hastened and he had stood there like an idiot - staring at the video maker who hadn’t pay the slightest attention to him, his mouth wide open.

How long had he been frozen there, like a fucking fangirl oozing hormones and sebum?

…

Thank’s God - an unfortunate accident had come to his rescue : Kiba Inuzuka and his legendary clumsiness who, probably not expecting Sasuke to suddenly freeze on the spot, had stumbled over the stairs.

PAF.

He had cracked his forehead open and the fit of hilarity (well - they didn’t need much at eight o'clock in the morning) in the auditorium had instantly brought Sasuke out of his enamored trance. He had quickly taken his attention away from the blond young man hurried back to his place, his heart beating fast.

Shit - what the hell was Rasengan doing in his college?

And why did he have do pull an all-nighter on the day before?

Sasuke looked around him and hesitated for a moment before putting his phone in selfie mode in order to inspect the extent of the damages.

Ouch.

He had rarely looked so bad. His eyes were red because of the entire night spent on a computer screen, his skin was tugging at him and - what the hell was that old scale on the edge of his eyelid ? But despair truly overcame him as he looked at the state of his hair - thank God it was still pretty clean, but there was absolutely no volume left. Nasty, long (too long) strands of hair were stuck to his temples and fell back a little on his forehead.

Shit - it was as if he was unpleasantly reviving his teenage years when - even though he still adamantly claimed to that day he had never turned emo, he had tried numerous dubious kind of hairstyles.

The Uchiha turned pale when it really came down to him : this was indeed the very first impression he ever had make on Rasengan.

When Sasuke set foot on campus the next day, curious glances were exchanged. While his complexion was as fresh and glowing as ever (he had gulped down five liters of water the night before), his hair was…-

Well - he rather gave the impression that he had swallowed five litres of gel. That observation made the usually impassive Shikamaru raised an eyebrow - for a moment he thought that he too had returned to his high school years. The Nara genius finally shrugged it off, plunged back into his textbook - well everyone had bad hair day every now and then.

Fourth day of the week - Sasuke grumbled as he put his computer back on his bag.

Of course, Rasengan had to disappear completely off the face of the earth as soon as he had decided to rock his best outfits to go to class.

It was as if Rasengan’s divine appearance had to be provoked by Sasuke losing some of his splendor.

…

The next day, Sasuke had the impudence of wearing a T-shirt… with a hole on it (an old accident involving a hook and his brother-in-law, a fisherman), but still - nothing happened.

There was not the slightest sign of the handsome blond with eyes too blue to be true. In a bad mood, Uchiha decided after lunch to put the Ralph Lauren sweater, which he’d slipped into his bag in the morning just in case, in top of his crappy shirt.

The following Monday came quickly but - no, Sasuke wasn’t expecting anything.

His decision to resume his daily abdominal sessions hadn’t been motivated by any hope of meeting a certain blond again.

He was doing it for himself - and for himself alone.

Although it was true that he didn’t even need it.

The coffee machine forgot inadvertently to give him a stirrer - Sasuke sighed. Great, the day was starting out just fine : how the hell was he supposed to retrieve the sugar that had fallen to the bottom of the cup and drink his coffee now?

« Ahah, I can’t believe it, I didn’t even finish my presentation and Hatake gave me the passmark ! »

Sasuke’s ears tensed imperceptibly as he recognized the voice of the injured-Inuzuka who had just entered the cafeteria.

« He felt sorry you had a concussion Kiba, Shikamaru was there too.

- Whatever, man ! I’m definitely going to pass that semester ! We got to go celebrate. »

Celebrate?

Like in a bar or club where Rasengan might also go to ?

Sasuke suddenly found his cup too heavy to carry around and chose to sit down at the table next to the one the two friends had chosen, any worry of lost-stirrer long forgotten.

« Mhhh. Shikamaru sighed and rummaged through his wallet, seeking enough change to buy himself a hot drink. The delicious scent of Sasuke’s coffee was tempting him. You know what I think about your improvised parties.

- Pfff, anyway, you hardly go out anymore now than you got hitched.

- It's not like that, Shikamaru sighed again. Tem and I simply go to different places. »

Sasuke rolled his eyes out, bored. He wasn’t there to hear about other people’s marital relationships: why didn’t they discuss Rasengan’s appearance AND disappearance instead?

The black-haired man had spend the weekend trying to figure something out, but nothing helped. Not a new video on Youtube (well, there was nothing that strange about that, Rasengan’s upload schedule had always been rather dubious), not a single clue on twitter or insta.

Nothing.

« …- never thought you’d actually manage to hook up with her. By the way…-, Kiba’s sentence was left hanging in the air. Oh, here he is. It’s about time! »

Sasuke’s pulse suddenly accelerated. Damn it.

He hadn’t expected Rasengan to pop up out of the blue, though.

Wasn’t his presence so close to his group of friends too suspicious?

Was he going to get busted that easily ?

He needed a pretext - quickly.

« Hey Shino. You’re here just in time, let’s go! »

Eyes glued to the poster for dark-metal band, Uchiha struggled to conceal his disappointment.

Shino Aburame - of course.

Always where he wasn’t expected.

Jaw clenched, Sasuke pretended to take a closer look at the tour dates on the wall while the three companions got up to go to class. The disappointed student was about to do the same when a voice called out to him:

« I didn’t know you liked this kind of music, Sasuke.

- Uh… yeah.

- We’re performing next month at the bar around the corner, Shino let out a rare smile as he reached into his pocket to hand him something. Here, I’ve got plenty more.

- … Thanks ? »

Uchiha arched an eyebrow as he received a Radioactive Worms sticker.

…

Well.

It took all sorts to make a world.

Wednesday, nine o'clock - Sasuke sighed as he realized that his computer was already out of battery. He pulled the charger out of its’ case before giving a nasty glance to a student who was cackling a little too loudly a few rows away.

Inuzuka.

Again.

He was getting on his nerves more and more.

For how long has he been getting along like pigs in a blanket with Rasengan? And was he, as Sasuke strongly suspected, responsible of his mysterious disappearance?

It was all so damn confusing.

« Um, yeah? »

The microphone sizzled and Sasuke turned his attention back ont he lecturer who he had almost forgotten.

When he saw who standing next to him, he almost fainted.

Rasengan.

#sasunaru #narusasu #sasunaru fic #sasunaru fanfiction #narusasu fic #narusasu fanfiction #naruto #naruto fanfiction #youtube #sillyme #shino is a key character there #hope you guys enjoyed it #i really need to study but oh well #naruto x sasuke #narutoxsasuke #sasuke x naruto #sasukexnaruto #sasuke x naruto fanfiction #it's all about connections

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

Text

767.

What was the best job you’ve ever had? >> Selling local bands’ merchandise at their shows. I don’t know if I could do it now -- my tolerance for both loud spaces and crowds of people has plummeted since then -- but I’m glad I had the experience.

Would you rather open a used clothing store or an antique store? >> I would rather not open a store, period.

Do you think you would want to own a gift shop? >> No.

Have you ever wondered if your friend was an alien? >> No. I know a few people who would consider themselves of non-Earth origin, so I don’t have to wonder.

Do you have a troublesome medical condition? >> No, I just have a troublesome brain.

What’s your most annoying neighbor’s name? >> I don’t know any of my neighbours’ names. Within the last year, a bunch of people moved into this complex and brought noise with them, and I hate them all equally as a result.

Would you have started a business in high school if your parents had let you? >> No.

What sport would you have joined if your parents had let you? >> If my parent had let me, I would have abstained from all organised athletic activities.

Do you have any tough life decisions to make soon? >> No.

At what time of the day do you usually have the most energy? >> I’m not sure. Morning, maybe?

Do you consider yourself gifted and talented? >> No. I did go to a “School for the Gifted & Talented” for a year or two when I was young, but truly, I’ll be the first to tell you that that means absolutely jack-squat.

Do you love your enemies? >> ---

Magenta, aqua, or coral? >> Magenta.

Do you like the color orchid? >> It’s fine.

Would you rather be a wedding photographer or a nature photographer? >> If I must be a photographer at all, I’d rather take photos of things or scenery than people.

Have you ever had an ulcer? >> No.

Do you have a canker sore right now? >> No.

Are you interested in health and wellness? >> Not particularly, especially not the way it’s peddled to us in this country.

Would you ever be a fitness coach? >> Fuck no.

Do you ever question whether something that makes you uncomfortable is a good thing or not? >> Yeah, because sometimes that comfort zone is one that can stand to be tested, but oftentimes that comfort zone exists for a fucking reason and that reason is “I’m post-traumatic, let me live”. It behooves me to know which is which.

Do you think for yourself? >> Well, who else am I going to think for?

Do you live life on your own terms, or do you do what everyone tells you to do? >> I live my life largely on my own terms, to the extent of my ability. I really just don’t like being told how to live, in general, but I take any actually-useful advice into consideration (especially regarding situations I’m unfamiliar with).

When was the last time you spent time with God in nature? >> I spend time with myself in nature. If a god or two wants to join, they can, but I probably won’t notice, being unattuned and all. The last time I sat in nature was... within the last week, idk, days are fake.

What color is your bike? >> Orange and black. And probably in poor shape from sitting in the garage.

Are you due for a hike? >> I wish.

Do you ever wonder why some people think they’re better than others? >> No, it doesn’t seem to be a terribly complex thing to figure out. Like, I’ve experienced the feeling of arrogance and superiority before.

Do you have too many hangers? >> No, I have the right amount.

Have you ever created a themed scrapbook? >> No.

Pilates or yoga? >> I’ve never done pilates and yoga is... difficult for me. So, neither, really.

How often do you eat dessert? >> Just about never.

Do you own a pair of cute workout pants? >> I don’t own a pair of workout pants, period.

What’s the trendiest item you own? >> I don’t know.

Do you get irritated by people who lack common sense? >> No, because I don’t think common sense is a thing. I think people really put a lot of stock into the concept, which is fine and all, but it really means nothing to me (except, it seems, as a way to make other people feel stupid for not knowing something).

What’s the best drink you’ve ever had at Starbucks? >> Probably a Teavana or Tazo tea. So, you know... nothing that is exclusive to Starbucks, lol.

Did you pull an all-nighter last night? >> Nope.

When was the last time you wrote an essay? >> Er... 2004?

Do you enjoy writing essays? >> Fuck no. I’ve failed English classes because of my complete inability to write essays.

Do you enjoy learning? >> Sure.

What is the most dominant color in your closet? >> Black.

Do you own anything periwinkle? >> Maybe, but it’s doubtful.

Do you know anyone who is colorblind? >> Maybe.

What is your favorite fairytale? >> The Snow Queen.

Do you ever wonder why Americans celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? >> No, I don’t wonder. I’m pretty sure I know why.

Do you have any Irish in you? >> Nope.

What is your favorite name that starts with a Z? >> I have a character named Zimir, which is a pretty cool name.

Have you ever felt like you were going to throw up while you were at school? >> Yep.

What color are your running shoes? >> My sneakers are black.

Do you wear hoodies? >> Yeah. I’m wearing one right now.

How many pull-over hoodies do you own? >> Zero, all of mine are zip-up.

Do you own a princess crown? >> No.

Do you love anyone? >> I suppose.

What’s your birthstone? >> Emerald, I think.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

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Survey #266

“... and buried deep beneath the waves, betrayed by family, to his nation with his last breath cried: beware the daughter of the sea.”

What's the last thing you looked up in the dictionary? Shit, it's right on the tip of my tongue... I was making sure I was using it right, which I was. Do you ever listen to instrumental music? Rarely, and if I do, it's normally game soundtracks. Who did you last sit on? I'm hoping you mean like... on their lap lmao in which case it'd probably be Jason. No one wants my fat ass to sit on their lap nowadays. What do you think about wind? I HATE wind, unless it's hot and there's a nice breeze. Has there been anyone that you wanted to get to know but never did? Well of course. That happened in high school a lot. What's the last thing you looked at that reminded you of someone? Teddy's picture on my shelf. Have your parents ever tried to commit suicide? Not that I know of. I couldn't even begin to imagine either of those trying that. Do you have a gag reflex? A VERY STRONG ONE. Would you rather have sex before you're married or wait till marriage? I don't care. Tbh by now, I kinda think before is wiser only to ensure you two are compatible in that area. It wouldn't matter to me personally, but I know that's important to some people and can cause issues and built-up bitterness. Just use protection, Christ. Have you ever let someone hit you? Um no? Do you have friends in other states/countries? Plenty. Been on the Internet since before I was even a pre-teen, talking to strangers lmao. Do you ever pay attention during church? I would try to back then, but I never succeeded well because my mind would wander out of boredom. Do you have self-control? That very much depends on the situation. I can be EXTREMELY impulsive, but in other cases hold it together. Have you ever broken a window? No. When was the last time you freaked someone out? I'm sure it was a few nights ago when I had another nightmare and woke up screaming. Mom always yells my name to snap me out of it. Have you ever gone on a date with a weirdo? No. Who's the last person you called a bitch? I don’t know. Is anyone in your family disabled? Yes. What do you want for Christmas? It's hella early to think about it, but I'm quite certain I'll be asking for a treadmill. How many moles do you have? I don't think I have any? Aren't freckles and moles different? Do you own any comic books? No. What is the nastiest dare you have ever committed? I don't know. I never did really nasty ones because I wasn't stupid. Do you know anyone who has been raped? Almost, anyway. Idk if I know anyone to really has been... I hope not. Are you an atheist? No. I think there's... something. Have you ever owned a goldfish? Well yeah, from like, carnival games and stuff. Who was the last person to call you beautiful? I dunno, probably a family member when I changed my FB profile picture. How many times have you been stung by a bee? Once. Those fuckin hornets better stay the holy fuck away from me. What was the last flavor of gum you chewed? Probably something fruity. When was the last time you used tape? Ummm probably when I had to tape the side of my laptop screen a bit. When was the last time you said fuck? A couple questions ago in this survey lmao. Have you ever stolen something? Only this pink crayon I thought was beautiful at Sunday school oof. Who would you like to kiss right now? Maaaan there's three people I would so long I wasn't involved with anyone else. Mark of course lol, Jason, or Sara. Who was the last person you told to 'Shut the fuck up' to? Ha ha, probably playfully to Sara. Why were you last nervous? So I joined this group on deviantART called the Guiding Light Project, which is about mental health help and positivity, and there is a list of people seeking help and what their problem is. I decided to reach out to two people I really thought I could help, and one was a guy. Men make me so nervous that I was very nervous sending him a message, but it's going very well. Whose pants did you last take off? Uhhhh. OH YEAH HEY when I was hanging out with Colleen and she got me to change her son's diaper. Hate hate hate hated it. I do not ever need kids. When was the last time you were disturbed? Hm. I'm sure over something I saw on Facebook. NO, WAIT. Sara, do not read this. When I was at Ashley's, we were watching Naked and Afraid, and they caught a chameleon to cook for food. I almost screamed. Poor thing looked terrified when the guy grabbed him. Why did you last feel awkward? Also when messaging that guy. When was the last time you got in a fight with your best friend? It's been a long time. Have you ever asked someone for a tampon? Only a friend. Who was the last person you read a book to? My niece had me read a book like fifty times. Who is the person you say the naughtiest things to? Ha ha, Sara when we're having our stupid fangirl moments. Who was the last person to send you a letter? Sara. It's still on my shelf. :') How do you feel about war? I’m a pacifist, so guess. Do you like cupcakes or muffins more? Hm, maybe cupcakes. Have you ever pushed someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No. Do you have any tough life decisions to make soon? Nothing major. At what time of the day do you usually have the most energy? In the morning, once I've passed the drowsy phase. Magenta, aqua, or coral? Coral. Do you like the color orchid? Ye! Would you rather be a wedding photographer or a nature photographer? Uhhh I literally want to be both? I'm *realistically* more interested in shooting weddings for the income, but if I had my way, I'd be perfectly financially content being a nature photographer. Man, I hope that happens. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Are you interested in health and wellness? "Rather than interests, I consider them two very important things I should always try to pay attention to. Health is very important." <<<< This. Would you ever be a fitness coach? HA no. Do you ever question whether something that makes you uncomfortable is a good thing or not? That's a very good question. This can definitely lead to you questioning flawed morals, so in that sense, it sure can be. In other ways though, it can certainly be a bad thing. Do you think for yourself? Yes. I am, generally, very opinionated and follow my gut instinct. Do you live life on your own terms, or do you do what everyone tells you to do? The former, usually. I can be AWFUL at making decisions though, so I definitely consider advice. What color is your bike? I don't have a bike. Are you due for a hike? There is physically no way I could handle a hike in my current shape. Muscle atrophy in the legs is not fuckin' fun, and with hyperhidrosis and THIS heat? Oh, hunny. Have you ever created a themed scrapbook? As a kid, I fainty remember having one? How often do you eat dessert? Very rarely. I don't need it. What's the trendiest item you own? Oh boy, I don't have a clue. I don't even know what's "trendy." Did you pull an all-nighter last night? No. When was the last time you wrote an essay? My first semester of this year. Do you enjoy writing essays? I actually do if it's a subject I'm passionate about. Do you enjoy learning? Yeah! What is your favorite fairytale? Fuckin fight me if you say Shrek isn't one. What is your favorite name that starts with a "Z"? I have no idea. Maybe Zena, though I prefer it with an "x." Have you ever felt like you were going to throw up while you were at school? Yes. I have before. Do you own a princess crown? No. When was the last time you were jealous of someone? Ugh... with how bad my PTSD has been lately, I've been having periodic episodes of raging hate and jealousy of the girl he dated after me, thinking things like, "what if he loved her more," "what if he also told her this or that," etc. They're not even together anymore, but my brain doesn't care. Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? Maybe? What was the last thing you killed? I think an earwig-ish thing. Whose number did you last get? The girl's who adopted Bentley. When was the last time you used a public bathroom? Probably not since an appointment with my psychiatrist some time ago. Have you ever used someone for money? Wow, no. Do you have manners? I honestly think I have great manners. Have you ever woken up and realized that yesterday really happened? That was ABSOLUTELY the day after the breakup. It didn't at all feel real when it was even happening. When was the last time that you had a pet that died? Last November is when we had to put Teddy to sleep. God, I miss that baby boy. Or did Mitsu die later? I don't recall for sure. Do you know anyone who retired at a young age? I mean, probably. I'm just unaware. When was the last time you took a taxi/Uber? Where were you going? Never, actually. We don't really have those here. Have you ever been diagnosed (by a professional) with OCD? Yes. Do you know any married gay couples? Distantly. Who is your favorite person to spend time with? SARA! I feel like kids having a sleepover when I've been with her. Is there anything you should tell someone, but don’t want to? Yes. Have you ever woken up somewhere and not known how you got there? I don't believe so. Do you live somewhere where recreational marijuana is legal? No. Have you ever quit a job with no notice? No. Do you have nightmares often? HA, it's just about a nightly basis now. Have you ever been on any sort of government assistance? I've gotten loans for school and stuff. Does that count? Did you have your own bedroom when you were growing up? No, I shared it with my little sister. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? Pessimistic. Are you comfortable with your weight? Fuck no. How often do you listen to classic rock? Semi-frequently. Not as much as I did in high school. What about country? Just about never ever. Do you know anyone inside and out? I don't think that's possible. Is anyone in your family sick? Both Mom and Grammy are fighting cancer right now. I don't think my grandma has much time left. She can't walk on her own anymore. What kind of camera do you have? A Canon EOS Rebel T6. What is something you know you shouldn’t do, but do anyways? Download music. What is the most amount of money you have ever lost? Idk. Is photography one of your interests? Of course, I aim to make a career out of it. Do you know your neighbors very well? I personally don't. The person to the right of us, though, my mom knows decently and is a total and complete sweetheart. Have you ever hurt yourself just to get attention? "Kind of (I hurt myself for my own purposes, but I did want attention paid to it), when I was a teenager, because I desperately needed someone to treat me with compassion and, like, take the shit that was happening to me seriously." <<<< I don't like admitting this, but it's happened. I want to emphasize that it was not the primary reason and was rather impulsive anger and self-hate, BUT for the mentioned reasons, I did want this shit taken seriously and realize I really needed help. Has anyone ever called you conceited? No. Do you write ever write poetry just to get your feelings out? Certainly. Not like I used to, though. Who were you last really mad at? REALLY mad? I'm not sure, but probably Mom. What is a sad song that you like? "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade has been in my head lately. What is a rumor people tell about you? I don't know of any. The only rumor that I know has ever been spread about me was that Jason and I had a baby in high school. Despite the fact I was slim then lmao. If you were given 1,000 acres of land with no strings attached, what would you do with it? Definitely plant a forest around a house I'd like to model myself, dig a nice pond for more wildlife... a lot of stuff that would benefit nature. If you had to flee their home country, where would you live? Canada. Do you think psychic abilities exist? Which one would you like to have? No. I'd like to uhhhh... predict the future when I will it myself, I guess. What’s a skill or craft that you would like to master, but haven’t? I wish I could draw exactly what I see in my head. How did you find out Santa isn’t real? My mom just told me. What’s a personality trait that you wish you had? CONFIDENCE!!!!!!! Do you believe in getting revenge on those who do wrong by you? If so, how do you go about it? Noooo no no. That creates so many more problems. If you were arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family think you’d had done? That's a great question. If you could shop for free at one store, what would it be? For the sake of being smart, Wal-Mart. Necessities are there. Do you have any pets? If so, what are they? I have a Siamese-esque cat and a champagne ball python. I'm currently DESPERATELY trying to talk Mom into a Mexican red knee tarantula... and I really want a hognose snake. What event in your life would make a good movie? The breakup and my recovery. If you could dedicate your life to solving one problem, what would it be? Discrimination. Where do you find meaning in your life? Quite honestly, I don't feel it has much meaning currently. I'm not doing shit worthwhile. Do you believe things happen for a reason? Hell no. What do you think is a conspiracy? Honestly, I believe in quite a few. The one I believe in most was that the government was 120% involved in 911. Research. It is unbelievable. I'm very dubious that the "first" moon landing was real, either. There is an overwhelming amount of evidence it was on a soundstage. Why? America wanted to beat Russia in the space race. I love conspiracies. Do you believe in the afterlife? How do you picture it? Yes. I don't quite know how I picture it, but I lean towards like... this nirvanic state of peace and knowledge, and unity between the dead. What’s a superstition you believe in? I don’t believe in any superstitions. None. What is the dumbest way you’ve ever been injured? YOOOOOO when I was at Colleen's in-law's having dinner once, I literally took a large bite of rice RIGHT WHEN IT CAME OFF THE STOVE. I didn't know it'd only just been removed. My tongue was burned for weeks on end. Do you mind conflict? Hell yes I mind. I'm terrified of confrontation. If you could start a charity what would it be for? Something with mental health. Maybe to help those who can't afford help/therapy. If you were a cryptid (bigfoot, mothman, ect.) what would you be? I'm already a cryptid. What’s your ideal temperature and weather? Hm... like 55 and partly cloudy. What topic could you give a 20-minute presentation on with no preparation? Gay rights. Have you ever worn those drunk goggles? Yes, for D.A.R.E. in elementary school. Can you agree to disagree, or usually get upset over conflicting views? It depends on the subject of course, but I'm normally very good at agreeing to disagree. Rodeos – entertaining, or cruel? Animal fucking cruelty. Dumbasses getting gored are well-deserved. Who is the best female rocker? Why? Lita Ford is a badass. Slays on the guitar and is just cool. What color of roses do you find the prettiest? I actually like the classic, deep red. Have you ever accidentally found porn when looking for something else? I don't think so. Why do so many fans with OTP’s insist that their ship is real? I don't really know, but it's annoying. Some people are just friends, y'know. Being similar/compatible does not equate to actually liking each other like that, and the feral ones are just... wow. Do you draw fanart of anything? Not anymore. There's soooo many pictures I'd love to draw of Mark, but I literally love him so much I don't want to disgrace his face with my poor ability to make shit proportional lmao. Favorite thing to see in museums? Fossils! Have you ever seen an unwrapped mummy in person? No. What things have people shamed you for? My AvPD doesn't want me to think about this. Are there any 'adult stores’ in your area? Probably at some point. Have you been inside of them/shopped there before? No. Do you watch The Masked Singer? Any theories? No.

#survey #surveys #questions

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ladymusic600 · 5 years

Text

Im not lazy just sleepy.

All about Idiopathic Hypersomnia Idiopathic hypersomnia (IH) is a sleep disorder in which a person is excessively sleepy (hypersomnia) during the day and has great difficulty being awakened from sleep. Idiopathic means there is not a clear cause. Idiopathic hypersomnia (IH) is a chronic neurological disorder marked by an insatiable need to sleep that is not eased by a full night’s slumber. People with idiopathic hypersomnia sleep normal or long amounts of time each night but still feel excessively sleepy during the day. They may take long naps, but wake up feeling no better or worse than when they fell asleep. IH is similar to narcolepsy in that you are extremely sleepy. It is different from narcolepsy because IH doesn’t usually involve suddenly falling asleep (sleep attacks) or losing muscle control due to strong emotions (cataplexy). Unlike in narcolepsy, in which scheduled naps may help, daytime naps in people with IH are often long(hours) yet unrefreshing. People with IH may experience improvement with medication; however, medications do not work well for all people or may stop working over time.(it’s like a band-aid works for a little while but falls off and stops working) __________________________________________________________________________________ “SO To Whom It May Concern: I am writing this because I wanted to help you better understand some of the issues I face on a daily basis because of idiopathic hypersomnia (IH) or narcolepsy. The first thing I can promise you is that I hide as much of my suffering as possible because showing it would drag everyone else down. This is commonly referred to as our “game face.” If you ask “How are you?” the response you get is relative to how I feel all the time, so it doesn’t mean the same as when you use the same words. If the response is “Good!” it probably means I am really tired but dealing with it well enough to almost function like any other person. There is also a pretty good chance that it is a flat-out lie. If the response is something like “OK” or “fine” I am struggling and needs your help. If the answer is “tired” I am on my last leg. Something more like “crappy” is an indicator that, if you really care, you need to send me to bed and keep the kids or people quiet or take them outside or somewhere else so I can sleep. When you have IH/narcolepsy, your body usually gets plenty of sleep, but your brain is in a constant state of sleep deprivation. People with IH/narcolepsy carry a significant amount of sleep deprivation which only gets worse over time because sleep doesn’t provide relief. The most common symptoms of sleep deprivation are forgetfulness, memory issues in general, difficulties with concentration, decision making, and overall ability to think clearly. The extra effort required to focus on the issue at hand makes it very easy to forget about things that are out of your field of vision, causing problems with anything that resembles multitasking. The emotional results of sleep deprivation are probably the easiest to see, though. I am sure you are familiar with how easy it is to get cranky when you are tired? Now imagine fighting off this crankiness every minute that you are awake and trying not to cry from exhaustion. When you have IH/narcolepsy, your head is often a blur of thoughts and instead of mentally lining steps up in chronological order, everything just blurs together, so nothing goes as planned and you wind up being late for things regardless of how important they are to you, making time management difficult.(even though i can wake up on my own when i have my alarm set i fall asleep during or right after what i had to need to or am currently doing) People with IH/narcolepsy may get medications to help them with energy, mental clarity, etc., but there is no replacement for restorative sleep. Healthy people can’t stop sleeping at night and take a pill in its place, and people with IH/narcolepsy are no different. These meds may help some people gain mental clarity, but they still may be struggling to stay awake most of the time. Or they help some people stay awake, but may do nothing to help with clarity and can actually make it worse. A very good friend of mine says: “My meds just help me do stupid stuff faster.” They may provide the energy to do things, but they can take away a person’s ability to channel that energy properly. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter and relied on high doses of caffeine to get you through the next day? Yes, you made it through the day and you accomplished some stuff, but do you remember how you felt all day? How many days in a row do you think you could do that? That is just about exactly how I feel when my meds are working their best. On top of all of the internal difficulties people with IH/narcolepsy face, other people sometimes just don’t get it. As a disabled workaholic, the thing that really gets to me is the way people tend to think I am lazy. I become accustomed to being criticized for not trying hard enough by people who aren’t putting forth nearly the effort she is. Like almost every one of the thousands of people with IH/narcolepsy I have talked to or read about in the past couple years, I am constantly beating myself up for what feels like constant failure. I have often been told that I just need learn to cope like other people with other diseases do so I can function like a normal adult. The problem is that IH/narcolepsy lies right where a person’s ability to cope is supposed to come from, so getting irritated with them for not functioning right is like getting irritated someone with emphysema for not being able to breath right.” __________________________________________________________________________________

One of the first questions people ask me when I talk about idiopathic hypersomnia is, “what’s it like?” The first way I answer is, imagine sleeping for an entire night and feeling like you’ve gotten no rest at all and that you been up for days without coffee. That’s the first “feeling” I experience when I wake in the morning. Inside my body, I feel like I’m running a marathon while I’m standing still. I don’t know how else to explain the exhaustion and pain. What I’ve found most interesting is that, when I talk about idiopathic hypersomnia, few people realize it has anything to do with pain. However, when your body is always fighting to stay awake, it’s painful. Every muscle in your body is struggling to help keep you awake. It starts in your back (feels a lot like tension), and then creeps into your arms, legs, and everything else. Living with hypersomnia has taught me many things — even before I received my diagnosis. I used to hear a lot of negative talk throughout the years, like this for example: “There’s no reason for you to be as tired as you are — you don’t actually do anything.” I heard that from my own family. Hearing things like that not only hurt, but it confused me. Like why would you say that when you know what i am going through… There were so many days when I’d just come home and cry because I knew I had so much stuff to get done that day, and I knew that if I napped I wouldn’t feel any better, but I just couldn’t do anything else but sleep. _________________________________________________________________________________ Dating someone with IH just learn about it and talk to them about it!

#dating #ih #idopathic hypersomnia #hypersomnia #sleepy #narcolepsy #this is my life

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euphoria-vmin7 · 5 years

Text

Insouciant | myg

pairing: PLATONIC! min yoongi x reader

genre/warnings: fluff, friendship, no romance, college! au

words: 922

--summary: when you’re stressed out with work and don’t want to take care of yourself, your best friend will do it for you...

a/n: sorry if you guys wanted romance but one of my friends wanted a platonic one shot and I did it for them!

Insouciant

in·sou·ci·ant

adj. free from worry, concern, or anxiety

You sighed softly as you scrunched up your hair in your fist and looked down at the mess of papers resting by your computer. You honestly hated college. Everything was too stressful. Too pressurizing. You looked down at the report that was still only in the early stages of development with a glare. It was due the day after tomorrow and you honestly should have been farther ahead with it. You could kick yourself for procrastinating.

Well, at least work on it for a couple more hours.

It was just about 11 at night when you decided to stop for a minute. You didn’t even realize you hadn’t even eaten anything yet. You groaned loudly at your own stupidity as you realized that it was too late for you to make something. You couldn’t even run out to get something now.

“Why does this universe hate me so much?”

A soft ding coming from your phone signaled a new text message and you stretched to go get it and opened up said message. The words made your heart drop.

Hana: He’s changing the due date to tomorrow at 12 p.m.

You facepalmed and then let out what seemed to be your hundredth groan of the day.

Decided.

You were pulling an all-nighter. With no food. You took a seat at your desk and resumed working.

You didn’t get too far though. What with the knocking at your door. You raised a brow with utter incredulously.

Who the heck was here at this time of night?

You were honestly so irritated at the moment, you didn’t even bother to attempt to fix your disheveled appearance. You stormed over to the door and wrenched it open. Upon seeing who it was, however, your shoulders visibly relaxed.

“Wow, you look terrible,”

“Shut up and come in loser,” you snapped and Yoongi chuckled and walked in, slipping his shoes off and seating himself on your bed, placing the plastic bag he brought with him on the mattress.

Min Yoongi was a music major. You had met him almost 4 years ago when you accidentally walked into him when he was on his way back from basketball practice.

He watched as you sat down at your desk with a heavy sigh and began working again. He hummed under his breath and pulled out his phone before leaning back against your headboard and beginning to scroll through social media.

“Whatcha up to?” he asked.

“Stupid report got moved to tomorrow,” you grumbled and he chuckled.

“How long have you been working on it?”

“Since 5:30.”

Yoongi looked up with a frown.

“Have you eaten anything at all?”

“Ahahahaha you’re hilarious. No, I haven’t,”

He rolled his eyes.

“And you’re a stupid idiot. Come here,”

When you didn’t move the male could only scoff before standing up and making his way over to your desk before grabbing your arm and yanking you up.

“Wha-? Yoongs I-”

“Blah blah blah just shut up and listen to me,”

He pulled you to the bed and sat you down before he opened up the plastic bag pulling out take out and your eyes softened.

“Aww Yoongi~~for me?”

“Nah I’m gonna eat some too you selfish pig,”

You laughed and his rare gummy smile stretched across his face. The music major leaned back again into his previous position against the headboard and you made yourself comfortable next to him.

“What do ya wanna watch?” he asked.

“Hmmmm…. (Favorite Movie)?”

Yoongi groaned dramatically.

“We've watched it a hundred timesssss~~~”

“And you love it!!” you teased.

“Aha, you’re so funny,”

“OKAY (FAVORITE MOVIE) IT IS!!”

“Ugh,”

“Shut up and pass the remote,”

“Yeah yeah,”

By the time the movie intro started, the two of you were very comfortable, what with being all cuddled up.

“Maybe I shouldn’t even be watching a movie. I HAVE A REPORT!!”

“You’re gonna fry that tiny brain of yours if you don’t get a break,” Yoongi spoke nonchalantly. “So this is a good thing for you,”

You glared at him.

“Wow thank you for your kind and encouraging words,”

“Anything for you,”

You scoffed before focusing your attention on the screen.

It was about 15 minutes in when you decided to look up at the male and you noticed his eyes drooping slightly.

“YAH!!”

The pale skinned basketball player jumped a little.

“If you’re tired you can sleep Yoongi. I’ll just go work. You don’t need to force yourself to stay awake for me. I know you’re tired-”

“NO no no, don’t go work. Stay here, seriously. Don’t worry I’ll stay up,”

***

“I’ll stay up my left foot. What a liar. Meh meh meh I’m Yoongi and I think I'm cool even though I'm not~”

You felt a sharp pinch on your thigh and you yelped.

“I'm still awake you brat,”

“Whoops eheheh,”

“Shut up and go to sleep,”

You giggled and snuggled closer into Yoongi’s comfort and smiled lightly while closing your eyes. Yoongi watched you do so and a similar content smile stretched across his face as his grip around your body tightened a little.

Seriously, what would he do without you?

He thanked the stars that he possessed a friendship like this.

Not many people had it, so he considered himself lucky.

Hearing the slow breathing coming from you, his eyes fluttered closed and he could feel himself drifting off.

“Yoongi you think aliens have allergies to some sort of moon rock or something?”

“(Name)~~”

#bts #bts fanfic #min yoongi #bts yoongi #suga #platonic #bts platonic #fluf #bts fluff #kpop fluff #college au #suga x reader #yoongi x reader

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evakuality · 6 years

Note

What about an AU meet cute in which Even mistakes Isak for a library assistant (due to his being there so often) and tries to flirt with him by asking for help finding an outrageously obscure and entirely made-up book.

Ah, thanks for this, anon. It took a while, and is not quite what I intended when I first read this prompt. But I did manage to write something, so thank you for helping me out of my stuck place!

Even’s lungs are tight and he’s panting, breathless as he runs. He shouldn’t have left this to the last minute, he knows, but as usual he’s let a deadline slide until his whole ass is on the line. His legs are burning fire as he screeches around the last corner and sprints up the stairs to get into the library before it shuts for the day.

He’s still trying to drag air into his lungs when he spots the guy. The guy. The library guy Even’s been crushing on for the last few weeks. Today the guy is quietly shelving books, a frown creasing his forehead, and squinting at the titles as he wheels a small trolley around the room. He’s beautiful, and Even’s suddenly breathless for a whole different reason. The library’s uniform of black t-shirt looks particularly good on him today. Tighter than usual. Makes Even’s breath catch as he leans up on his toes to push a book into a higher shelf and it hugs the contours of his back.

His throat dry, Even drags his eyes away from the guy’s body and looks around. Blinks as he remembers what he was here for. His project. The one that’s got him properly fucked now that it’s due tomorrow and he has no clue how to find the info he needs. Normally, Even does what any self-respecting person would do and consults the internet. Unfortunately, this project requires consultation of actual physical books. Even’s teacher was adamant that at least one of his sources must be a book. No exceptions, Even. You need a range.

Forcing himself to focus, Even wanders towards the nearest shelf and stares at the titles lining the top row. It’s probably not the most efficient way of finding what he needs, but Even’s brain feels a little addled from seeing the guy and it’s the first thing that pops into his head to do. He grimaces when he really looks at the section he’s in, and screws up his nose. Anatomy. Some other scientific stuff that Even can’t even decipher from the book titles.

“Excuse me.”

The voice startles Even, makes him jump as a soft, “fuck,” escapes his lips. He turns and his eyes widen. It’s the guy. Standing right next to Even with a quizzical expression and those frown lines etched even deeper in his forehead than before.

“This book goes up there,” the guy says, nodding at the shelf Even is standing in front of.

“Oh. Sorry.” He moves to the side and the guy grunts a little as he reaches up to push the book onto the shelf. He smiles slightly as he catches Even’s eye and starts to turn back to his trolley.

Even has a sudden impulse now that he has this guy next to him and has actually spoken actual words to him. The idea of letting this opportunity slip through his fingers is inconceivable and he reaches out to clasp the guy’s arm.

“Um, actually … can you maybe help me?” he asks. “I’m looking for a book but I’m not having any luck.”

“You want me to help you find a book?”

The guy’s brow is creased in confusion, which is just bizarre considering this is his job. So Even thinks he must just be confused about why Even would approach him here rather than using the more orthodox information desk, so he puts on his most winning smile and hopes it works.

“Yes. I’m … not very good at libraries.”

The guy snorts. His face creases into a reluctant smile and Even is totally fucked now. He’s so beautiful close up, his eyelashes long and pretty and his mouth twisted into an amused wry resignation. The guy’s eyes actually twinkle when he speaks again and the sight is so stunning Even almost loses focus again.

“Not good at libraries?”

“Mmmm, that’s right. Confusing places. All these books.” Even clears his throat as the guy lets out another small huff of laughter and shakes his head. “So. It’s … uh.” Even realizes he hasn’t got an actual title in mind so he coughs a little to cover as he desperately searches his brain for something. “It’s called Aspects of Modern Film Making, from Luhrmann to Bigelow.”

The guys squints at him, his brow furrowed in suspicion, and Even doesn’t blame him. He pulled the name out of his ass, and he’s not even sure it actually exists.

“A book on film making?”

“Yup.”

Even keeps his winning smile on his face, even though it’s feeling a hit stiff and awkward now. He should probably have thought this through a little better.

“A book on film making in the science section?”

“Oh?” Even blushes. “Is … oh, this is the science section? I wondered why it looked wrong.”

It’s such an obvious lie, easily seen through to the point of transparency. Even’s bracing himself for the inevitable moment when it all falls down around him, the guy calls him out and then goes on his merry way round the library knowing that Even is a complete idiot who lies as a flirting technique but is so shit at it he can’t even manage a believable lie. Instead, the guy sighs, amusement clear on his face.

“You really are shit at libraries,” he says. He moves towards a computer and Even trails behind him, relieved that the guy has decided he’s merely incompetent rather than a lying liar who lies.

“Okay,” the guy says, tapping at the keyboard and peering at the screen. “What was that title again?”

Even dutifully repeats the title, knowing he’s about to be found out. The guy sucks his lip in between his teeth and concentrates on the screen. Nothing comes up and he frowns again.

“Are you sure that was the title?” he asks. “It’s not showing on the catalogue.”

“Yeah, pretty sure,” Even says, feeling the heat rising into his cheeks as he perpetuates the lie and gets himself even further into this shit. “I remembered it because Luhrmann and Bigelow are so different as directors and it seemed weird to put them together. You know?”

The guy shakes his head and huffs in irritation. “I can’t say that I do,” he says. “A movie’s a movie and who gives a shit about the directors?” Ignoring the affronted gasp of horror Even makes, he turns to look at Even and shrugs. “Sorry, but I don’t think they have the book you want. But you could maybe try to order it from another library.”

“They?” Even asks, confused now in his turn, enough to drop the affronted comment he was about to make about the guy’s lack of movie awareness. “Don’t you work here?”

The guy glares at him. “No. What would make you think I do?”

“Well .. the trolley. And you’re always here. And … well … you wear the uniform.”

The sparkle is back in the guy’s eyes and he chuckles, grinning at Even. “You’ve been paying attention.”

“I … may have noticed you occasionally.”

“I don’t work here,” the guy says. “I just actually study, which you should maybe try by the way, rather than wandering aimlessly around the library, and it’s easier to put my own stuff back while I get the next one.”

“On a library trolley? While wearing the uniform? What about that sign over there that says don’t put books away?”

The guys blushes. “There is no uniform; lots of people just like black. And … uh … they … tolerate me putting books away, I guess. When it’s busy they like the help.”

“So you do work here, then.”

The guy shakes his head, clearly frustrated. “No. But call it volunteering if it makes you feel better.”

“It does,” Even says, allowing his grin to widen. “Makes me feel like less of an idiot.”

There’s an eye roll this time which is just a little too endearing and Even clears his throat once more.

“I’m Even, by the way.” The guy looks confused again and Even laughs. “For when you tell the story of how I made up a book just so I could keep talking to the cute guy I thought worked here.”

He holds his hand out and raises his eyebrow in query, hopes the guy will reciprocate with his own name.

“Isak,” the guy says, shaking his head as he takes Even’s hand. “But I’m never telling this story; Jonas would laugh his balls off that someone thought I worked here. He already makes fun of me for how much time I spend in this place.”

His face creases up again and he looks at Even as realization dawns on his face. “Wait. You … you made up the book?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I panicked.”

“You’re a dork,” Isak says, but he’s smiling and there’s a spot of color high on his cheeks.

“I’ve been told,” Even agrees cheerfully, his heart singing because Isak is still here despite all Even’s stupid confessions so maybe this wasn’t as big a disaster as Even has feared. “Mikael says it’s my worst quality. But I prefer to think it’s my best.”

“You think I’m cute?”

This time, it’s Even who’s blushing and he looks away. “I didn’t mean to just blurt it out like that, but … yeah.”

He’s startled by a laugh from Isak and glances over at him in confusion.

“I might have come over to this section because I saw you here,” Isak says by way of explanation. “I might have wanted to talk to the cute guy who always looks so flustered when he’s here and just walks in circles accomplishing nothing.”

“Yeah?” Even asks, his breath caught once again.

Isak nods and Even grins. “Do you … maybe want to get a coffee?” Isak asks. “I’m almost done with my work and the library’s closing in a few minutes.”

“Fuck!” Even says, remembering his project and the deadline he’s been so blithely ignoring. Talking to Isak had dragged his thoughts off his actual purpose here, which is the opposite of useful really. “I really do need to find a book. Tonight.” He looks around, takes in the vast quantity of bookshelves and grimaces. “Shit, shit, shit. I’m so fucked.”

Isak laughs and pokes him. “If you have a real title, I can help you find it and then maybe we can soothe your nerves with a coffee.”

“Okay,” Even says, his heart doing a delighted dance in his chest. The project is still not done, Even’s still going to have to pull an all nighter to get it finished, and it’s still probably going to be less than his best work. But it doesn’t seem quite as dire as it did when he was running to get here. Coffee with Isak seems like a fair exchange for losing out on good grades.

If that coffee takes longer than expected, because the conversation flows and Even can’t drag himself away, and if Even ends up with a 4 rather than his usual 5 or 6 for this project because of that, well … it was definitely worth it.

#skam #my ask stuff #my prompt stuff #evak #Anonymous

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years

Text

leb Landry Jones; cute or no?: Who?

Have you ever had food poisoning?: Ugh, yes. Have you ever passed out due to exhaustion?: No. I’ve gotten really sick and close to passing out from heat exhaustion, though. Ever had a dream about a kid you used to have a crush on?: It’s so weird having a dream about some old elementary or middle school crush. I’ve had dreams where I’m dating someone I went to school with in elementary/middle school who I never even had a crush on and that’s even more wtf. I’m like why did my brain come up with this?? Do you have a boyfriend?: No.

What are you listening to?: I hear the TV, fans, and the dishwasher. Is there a hair-tie on your wrist right now?: Nope. Favorite emoticon?: I like a few different ones on my phone. On the computer I just do: (: D: :D :X :| Do any emoticons annoy you?: No, but excessive amounts of them kinda do sometimes. I don’t go crazy with them, so maybe it’s just me. Do you think there will be a WWIII?: I sure as hell hope not. What are things you’re exceptionally good at?: Nothing. I’m so very average in every way. Shouldn’t the word extraordinary mean really, really ordinary?: Ha, yeah it does sound that it would mean that. Can you function properly after pulling an all-nighter?: I can for a for a few hours and then the crash comes and it hits me HARD. Then I’m just super groggy and sluggish. Has anyone ever asked you if you were emo?: Yeah, back when I was in my emo phase at 16. Although, let’s be real, even if I’m not always dressed in all black (although it does end up that way a lot cause majority of my shirts are black and I have a lot of black leggings, which is all I ever wear anymore, ha), I’m still emo. The most interesting thing that’s ever happened to you at a grocery store?: Uhh. One year the cashier wished me a happy birthday on the intercom and then other cashiers did it, too, and customers as well. I was so embarrassed, but it was cool. Has someone ever liked you that you never thought would?: Yes. Do you have any good book ideas?: Like for me to write? No. Do you like tacos?: Yeah. I like the Doritos tacos from Taco Bell best, ha. Have you ever seen Mr. Bill?: Doesn’t ring a bell. Are you gonna see Cars 2?: No, I haven’t seen it. I wasn’t into the Cars movie. In all honesty, can a person be too nice?: Yes. Last thing you watched on PPV?: ? I haven’t watched anything on PPV since like the 90s. Have you ever had a pet die?: Two :( I miss them every day. Do you think all pregnant teenage girls are sluts?: Wow, no. Has one of your friend’s boyfriends ever tried to cheat on them with you?: No. Are you a bad person if you value your friends more than your family?: I mean, it depends on the situation. Some people aren’t close with their family or have a bad home situation, so their friends become like their family. And even if you do have a close relationship with your family, your friends can become like family, too. For me, my family comes first and are the most important people in my life. Have you ever posted a video onto YouTube?: Yeah, a few actually. They will never see the light of day ever again, though. Is mental abuse really as bad as physical abuse? Absolutely! It can even be more damaging. Abuse of any kind of bad. Do you have a Formspring?: I used to. I guess it still exists out there, but I haven’t used it in years. If you do, what’s the craziest question you’ve ever been asked?: I don’t recall being asked anything “crazy.” Would you rather go to Yale or Harvard?: Lol like I’d ever get into either one. How often do you compliment other people?: Uhh. I guess not very often. How often do you receive compliments?: Very, very rarely. I really only ever get compliments on my hair, a shirt, or my purse. I haven’t had my hair done in several months and it looks awful, so no one is complimenting that. I also just look crappy in general and put little effort into my appearance, so no compliments there either. Do you shop at Sephora for make-up?: I have before, but no it’s no my go-to. They’re too expensive for me. I’m perfectly fine with Target and Walmart. Have you ever shopped at Kitson?: Never even heard of it, so no. What’s the most you’ve spent on a pair of shoes?: Like $50 something. Do you like your Converse looking dirty or clean?: Clean. Who popped your concert cherry? (:: High School Musical Live. :X Who’s prettier; Kim Kardashian or Megan Fox?: Kim Kardashian. Zelda Twilight Princess or Ocarina of Time?: I’ve never played those. Do you even game at all?: I used play just play like Mario games and ones like Spyro, Crash Banditcoot, and Sonic the Hedgehog sometimes. I was never a big gamer. Super Mario World will always be a favorite, though. I wanna play now, thanks. Would you give Zumba dance lessons a try if presented the opportunity?: No. Are there any songs/sounds that make you sleepy?: ASMR. Do you own a rosary?: No. Why do people think going to juvie is badass? I didn’t know people thought that, but it’s certainly not “badass.” Do you like Adult Swim?: No. It’s way too out there, weird, and just plain stupid to me, sorry. Do you know anyone in UFC?: No. Have you got a Fushigi ball?: What. What have you had to eat today?: So far just Ramen. It’s only 12:30AM.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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rhgdvx · 6 years

Text

otwtm [i]

toc

Yoongi sat down on his favorite place in the same café he's been going to for years. It was four in the morning, but sleep doesn't seem like a good idea so he chose to go to this place anyway, wondering about the same night... thinking about the same person...

He took a long, satisfying sip from his Americano and sighed a little as he flipped the made-shift book given to him by the only person to love him like that. He started to read, again, the pages she made out of his request, wondering if he could get another chance to rewrite those words.

'Min Yoongi could not love' The story began with such cruel start but he didn't mind it and just went on.

I have been thinking about that thought every now and then. Of course, I knew it right from the start: That he could never see me more than a fan. That he could always say 'I love you, ARMY!' but never he could say an 'I love you' addressed to me. What am I really thinking and hoping for? It's impossible, of course. I knew it right from the start.

Still though, I thought of him as a reachable star.

Efforts were given. I attended their fan signs, I cheered for them in concerts, I pulled all-nighters for every fangirl duty and I loved Bangtan with every bit of me. Funny, because I don't really put so much effort on things that won't give something back. I think stanning them really brought out the weird side of me;

And loving Yoongi made me hope for something that is beyond unreachable.

'I cannot love him any deeper. I shall not love him any deeper.', I repeatedly told myself at times when he's just so... extra? He's a good person, and he's great with his things. Who wouldn't get attracted to such a wonderful man?

I'll just get hurt. Yes, I know. I'm always seeing him and my heart doesn't seem to understand the wall separating fans from idols. Yes, I hope there's a chance but I know there is none. I'm just another stupid dot in a sea of million. Okay, maybe not stupid, just a little bit crazy but still a dot.

So, I settled down. Keeping my schedule tight just to refrain from spending it with them. Cruel? Yes. There are several fans who might call me fake, those who feel so useful that they put their fingers on anything; But do they know how much I desire? Do they know me? Do they know that every single time I look at him, I could only sigh because no matter how hard I yearn for him, we just cannot be? It is the kind of thing that a 'Nothing is impossible' is possible.

He's close to me but I cannot have him for my own good. Yes, I am not satisfied. I am not that kind of woman. So I settled down. I became fine.

Whenever he sees me, he waves at me like we're old friends. He shows his gummy smiles, he talks to me in a lighter way than how he does with others, or maybe that's what I have observed because of this wonderful mind of mine. Call me crazy in love, but I could feel that he's happy whenever he sees me in sight. I know it's bonkers but I'm not that stupid so I tried not to expect anything. I was fine, but then the day came when he talked to me weirder than the usual.

"Miracle," My heart fluttered as he said my name, what's new. As he mindlessly doodled at the album I bought, I just stared at him. "How do you find yourself when you're so lost?"

I furrowed my eyebrows at him. "I don't... uh... understand?"

"I mean; how could we fix ourselves from being broken?" He said, still doodling at my album.

Yoongi looked like he's not in his usual self. It seems like his mind is drifting so I answered him with the best sentence I could come up with at the moment. "A wound takes time to heal but time isn't enough. We should take care and protect the wound, too, so that it won't get any worse."

"How about seeking help from others?" He lifted his head and I was taken aback by the emotion in his eyes. "Isn't that what people do? Let others fix them because they can't?"

I looked away for a moment. "Depends on the situation, Yoongi."

He smiled, and so did I.

I thanked him and moved to the next member as normally as I could. After years of doing this, I could see it. I could confirm it; He's hurt. Something is hurting him emotionally. I could clearly see it in his eyes.

He's hurt, and so I am.

Perks of loving.

That night, I did not update my followers on Twitter with what happened on the fan sign. I am still winded by what happened. That's a first of that situation and I am worried about him.

I saw some friends talk about how weird Yoongi is and I wonder if they felt the same way I did when Yoongi looked at me. Of course, we love Bangtan and with them hurting, we are hurt too. And since Yoongi is more special to me, the ache was stingier. I love him, I love him though I don't think everything he shows is the real him. Drastically, though I settled my feelings down, there is definitely a part in my heart that still wishes for him.

Before I went to bed, I took the album from my messy bag and opened it. I should at least review what they wrote on my sticky notes, just for my sanity's sake. I browsed it as fast as I could since I have to sleep and work tomorrow morning and I don't really want to do it. Namjoon, the brain monster, of course said something wise as if implying that I should take a break because I asked them what should I do nowadays because I'm bored. The others said something goofy and fun... Hoseok even said that I should just go to sleep and eat a lot. Maybe that's what he does. Jungkook said 'Noona should love us more' and I don't know what he means. My mood was eventually getting lighter when I came to the page where Yoongi doodled and my emotion sank back. I purposely left this page out but I can't seem to control myself when it comes to him.

I swallowed hard because I could feel him aching by just seeing the random things he wrote and drew on the page. His bad handwriting became worse and these lines doesn't look like they mean something. I traced the heart he drew on my sticky note. It looks like it's broken, though it isn't. The face he drew on the left corner looks so tired. The whole page shouts something painful. It shouts what he feels. I sighed at the scribbles and tried figure some words out.

'Bye, bye, bye'

'Miracle, talk to MYGSyub'

'Please'

I raised an eyebrow to his answer. A random thought is telling me to see if that is a username or something. Or maybe I'm just hallucinating? Geez. I've developed several senses just by stanning Bangtan.

I hesitantly reached for my phone and opened apps that could possibly help me. I'm not sure; I can't be sure. On Twitter, I found one with that username but it looks like she's a fangirl from the other side of the world. I kind of read her tweets but they're mostly on her language so I doubt it. Next one is Kakao where I also found an account with that username. I added it, of course, hoping it was Yoongi. I messaged the account a simple 'Hello' and then looked through other apps.

Moments later, my phone notified me that someone messaged me... on Kakao.

MYGSyub: Miracle?

My heart went wild. Is this really Min Yoongi?

'Is this Yoongi?' I hastily typed.

MYGSyub: Unfortunately, it is.

'Uh. I won't talk about this.'

MYGSyub: I know.

WAIT. IS THIS REAL!? I wanted to cry and celebrate because I just got my bias' Kakao ID! And it seems like he really wanted me to know it. My fangirl heart is celebrating and I can't control it! Wait up. Does he know about my feelings? I held my chest and tried to calm myself but I can't. He messaged me again, asking how I am. Of course I replied right away. We chatted. We talked but it wasn't that warm, unlike the other fan signs.

Then after a while he asked if he could see me.

'Ha. Are you really Min Yoongi?'

MYGSyub: (photo) I said unfortunately, I really am Min Yoongi

OH MY... FU-Did he just take a picture and-My heart stopped. Min Yoongi why are you doing this!

'When?'

MYGSyub: 4 am?

'Where?'

MYGSyub: Send me your address... I'll drop by.

My eyes widened. 'Wait. Are you really Yoongi?'

MYGSyub: I already said I am Yoongi. Look, I am wearing the beanie you gave. (photo)

I almost shouted by the sight of his photo. He really is wearing the beanie I gave! Oh my goodness. How could this... possibly happen? Am I dreaming?

Geez.

Setting aside all frustrations and doubts, I chatted with him again like we're platonic friends and we agreed to meet tomorrow morning, at 4 am. Too early, but who cares?

Since the idea of him being here at 4 am did not seem like a nice one, we agreed to meet in a coffee shop near my place. And since I was eager to feed my expectations and assumptions, I went here 15 minutes early. He picked such a weird and perfect time because the ambiance is very, very serene due to small amount of customers. I sighed. If I am dreaming, I just want to wake up. This is not healthy.

I saw him outside a few minutes later, walking slowly as if feeling every step. He looked so fluffy with the knitted gray scarf around his neck and the cute expression plastered on his face. He was wearing a plain black sweater and jeans (like what I saw in his picture) together with black rubber shoes. And yes, he's wearing the white beanie I gave. The moment he stepped in the coffee shop, my world stopped. I could feel my heart beating rapidly but I couldn't even move a little to release my unhealthy emotion. Is this a dream? Please wake me up already, I know I'll wake up, anyway. Don't prolong my agony.

"Miracle." He smiled at me as he sat down. We ordered two Americanos since he said it's up to me. Good him, he paid for it.

Silence, that is what he gave me for approximately five minutes. I was scared to talk to him, afraid he might just fade away because I very well know this is just a dream. Or not? I couldn't even feel my own body. It feels like I'm just a soul in front of the man whom I wished to be my soulmate.

"Why?" I dared to ask so the silence won't grow any more unpleasant.

"I-I... I don't know."

"You asked a fan to meet you at this time and you do not know?" I calmly said, casually teasing him but it did not seem to reach him, or maybe I'm just not fun to be with.

"I know you." He said and he earned a funny face from me, which I did not mean to do. "C'mon, I've seen you a lot of times."

"So you... like, judged me?"

He took a sip of his coffee and he answered. "It's inevitable. You can't just look at people without even thinking if they are like this or that."

"I could." I said, though I know he is kinda right.

"It doesn't work for me, I like observing." He slyly smiled.

"So are you saying you have an idea of me?"

"You've come to events to support us since 2013, right?" I was allured when he looked at me then smiled. "Yes I've judged you, as you have put it."

"Is that supposed to insult me or not because I am kind of glad that an idol is keeping an eye on a fan." I said and he sniggered. Oh, he's so cute.

"You're happy about it."

When he spoke again, that's when I realized I should've not said the latter part. "Yep." I stared at my Americano awkwardly.

"Actually," I looked at him when he spoke again, confused with his business. "The reason I tried to talk to you like this is because I think... Well I think you could..." He stared at me for a moment then he lowered his head. I don't know what's happening because it's the first time I heard him unsure. "You could probably help?" He whispered, shy of the statement but I don't really get it.

"Help you where?"

He stared at me again as if reading me, then he awkwardly laughed. "I... I have a... a... close friend,"

The time those words came out of his mouth, I knew he was lying. It's obvious. The person he is referring to isn't just a close friend. You won't speak like that if that was really just a friend.

"Hmm?" I looked away. I could feel it; He's talking about a girl.

"She..." Oh, I'm right. I urged him to continue. "She just died."

Shocked by the statement, I quickly threw my attitude aside. I thought it was something else. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

We both fell silent. I finished my cup without looking at him. It's not that I am hurt because he's cherishing someone, I just cannot look at him with that pain clearly shown in his eyes. They're emitting sadness and I'm absorbing it. I did not ask however; I want to hear everything from him.

"Do you want to take a walk?" I suggested and he did not bother answering. He just stood up and gently held me by my wrist. I was surprised, of course, and I could feel something travelling from his grip to my spine. My heart was thumping louder than before to the point I want to hold my chest; Afraid he could feel it. Yoongi doesn't seem to be bothered so I shook the same feeling off. I don't want to be awkward with him.

When we came out on the street, he still did not let go. I do not know if I should feel jubilant. He held my hand before and we have talked before. He knows me, I know him, but something is very different. Like something is commanding me to feel special because what's happening right now is special.

"You're weird." I said after our long moment of silence. "Don't you think this is awkward, and... wrong?"

For goodness' sake, I'm just a fan who is fortunately with her bias right now, and listening to his aches. I'm currently not a dot, right?

"I don't feel like it's wrong." He said, I think I blushed. Well, he is Min Yoongi, the man who does not give a shit. I'm trying to control my emotions for his sake but I think this will be a hell of a headache.

"Why?" I asked though I am not curious to the answer.

"I could see her in you." He said in a low voice. "Every single time."

Ah. That hurt.

"Is she pretty too?" I joked, trying to hide the pain from him.

"Both of you are." He willingly answered. I think I'm good with hiding my emotions because he doesn't seem to be bothered.

"Is she really like me?"

He appeared to be thinking really deep, then he answered with a grin. "The first time I saw you, I thought you're her."

So this man knew our resemblance since 2013. "But then?"

"But then she appeared and I thought you were twins."

"But?"

He laughed. Though it was weak, he still laughed! "She's questioning everything, too."

"Who? The woman who left?" Those words came out of my mouth so easily. Again, I regretted saying it. He slowed down his pace and then he halted. He was just laughing a moment ago, now he is back to being pained and miserable. Is it my mistake?

I wanted to apologize and explain that it's just when you're happy, words come out so easily, but I don't think that's acceptable because he said his situation yet I let my selfish feeling take control.

"She died yesterday, Miracle. She was in coma, then her body gave up." He said, pain clearly etched in his voice. He closed his eyes to prevent tears but his heart is too pained. His grip on my wrist became weaker and weaker until he let his hand drop.

I remained silent. I want to know but I do not want to get hurt. I want him to release his pain and emotion but I do not know if I could listen and be his comfort. I love him, too. And he's talking about someone he loved for long.

"After the accident last year, her family told me to move on, but I couldn't." He explained, this time with a calmer voice.

"Because I remind you of her." I said, calmly, too, though my heart is aching. Is that why I've been receiving special treatment from him?

"Yeah." He turned his head to look away.

"Is that the reason," My voice broke, so I swallowed hard before I continued. "...why I am here with you? Because..." I trailed off but I continued anyway. "Because I remind you of her?"

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine." I tried not to mix my statement with any sarcasm but I know he's fully aware that he just hurt me too.

"This is not fine."

I bitterly laughed. "I do not know if you are using me to forget her death, or you are using me because you do not want to forget her."

Using? No. He just used me ever since to replay the ghost of his memories. He used me for his own good. He unwarily played with my feelings because he's loving someone that is never me.

And with him meeting me like this, I very well know what he wants to happen. No, I wouldn't allow that. I badly want him, but I want him to love me, too, deep inside.

I want to yell at him and make him more miserable for making me feel like this. I don't know why I am so hurt. I want to strangle him because I was fine. I was fine but he came to me once more just to make me feel this pain that I know I shouldn't deserve. I just loved him. What kind of shit is this? A miserable prize for devoting yourself to someone you think you know. What the hell.

"Miracle..."

"Yoongi," I bit my lips. "Did you ever see me as I am?"

He did not answer so I spoke again. It was hard but I managed to speak those words. "I am sorry but I could not help. I may be like her but I am not her, Yoongi."

Am I being selfish? I just don't want to get hurt but here I am, being torn choosing between myself and helping him in the way he wanted. But I do not know why I should help him, to forget or to remind him of that girl.

"It's my bad, too. I'm sorry." He sincerely said though he can't look at me.

"Supposedly, you should be the one pouring out a lot of emotion since she died... but..." I looked away and awkwardly patted him at the back. "I... I do... I love you too." The tears that I was holding dropped on my cheeks. "But I want you to love me because I am Miracle."

We fell into silence once again, and after a few minutes. we decided to separate our ways. Sorry if I am not a martyr, Yoongi.

'Min Yoongi could not love me... because he's loving someone else.'

I completed the sentence. It's not that he can't, he just can't if it's someone else.

The man sniggered a little as he kept his tears to himself.

"Silly, I love you so much." He closed his eyes and imagined her sitting in front of him; Both of them wondering about the same night... Thinking about the same scenes, with hearts aimed for the same future.

A bitter smile came across his lips as he fought the urge to just fall into pieces.

"Ahh... my Miracle."

#bts fanfic #short story #yoongi #suga #min suga #bts #fan fiction #fanfic #bts fanfction #miracle #how do you do tags really #rhgd-otwtm

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