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Assorted doodles (including Buson on his first day as a sailor on a cargo ship, before he got his sea legs, enjoy the voyage!)—Bashou made him a bento box and he reaaally didn't wanna lose that lunch.
Kojiro and Musashi are here too. ^^
#Pokemon#Team Rocket#Team Rocket James#Team Rocket Jessie#Team Rocket Attila#Buson#Attila#Kojiro#James#Musashi#Jessie#my doodle#FarawayPlace#DWRP#emesis * mention#vomit * mention#he managed not to!!!#but felt awful all the while
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9/25 update on the Nautilus, for anyone curious. Details below (long), but in summary: the damage is more expensive than we'd hoped. We will have to buy Nautilus back as salvage and repair her mostly out of pocket. We still do intend to repair her, but it seems now it will be over a timeline of several years. The fundraiser for her repairs has been raised to reflect the new estimate, and will remain up as long as we're working on her, for anyone who wishes to contribute. I'm so unbelievably, profoundly grateful to all of you who have helped us so far. Thank you so, so much.
Damage: a joint survey was conducted Tuesday between surveyors from our insurance and that of the other vessel. It will be another 3-4 weeks before we have the official paperwork, but the consensus was that the damage approaches twice Nautilus' value. In addition to the mast and all the attached rigging, sails, hardware, etc., the teak deck would have to come up in order to address the damage to the deck and hull. This means that rather than pay for repairs, our insurance company is almost certainly going to write her off as a total loss.
I am waiting for formal documentation before sharing any exact numbers. Once we have them I will be more precise. But the general process as I understand it right now is below, for anyone curious about how everything shakes out.
What a loss means with insurance: my understanding is that repair damages are only covered by insurance up to the point a vessel is totaled. Since the damages almost certainly surpass her value then she would be totaled instead. In this scenario, our insurance would give us the value the Nautilus was insured for, and then pursue the other vessel's insurance for their own reimbursement. Additionally the other insurance might give us the income we lost over the remainder of the season, but whether that will happen and what amount that would be is up in the air, with the three different attorneys we consulted agreeing that we'd be fortunate to get any amount. Anything beyond that is apparently unlikely, any other legal pursuit would possibly lose us more money that we might hope to gain.
On our end: we took out a loan to buy Nautilus in April, and still owe the majority of it. By the terms of the loan, with a total loss we would have to pay back the full loan immediately. Then, because this is essentially our insurance 'buying' Nautilus from us, we would have to buy her back as salvage. The salvage price would be determined by the salvageable parts of her, and the surveyor. Hopefully it would be less than five figures, but it depends heavily on which insurance company actually ends up with her, and how exhaustively they tally up the pieces of her that they could sell. The surveyors could not tell us at the time of the survey who would end up with her or what they would charge. For the next month or two Nautilus is in a kind of purgatory where we do still technically own her, but only until insurance gets through the paperwork, which makes it difficult to begin any work right now.
Financially: when the dust settles, once the loan is paid and we own Nautilus once more as salvage, I think that based on the current estimates we may have some funds remaining. But even in the best case scenario - low salvage price, and we do receive lost income - it wouldn't be enough to finance all the needed repairs. My partner and I will be keeping the fundraiser up for as long as we are working on her, for anyone who wishes to contribute to her repair fund. Any help from anyone who would like to see her sailing again will always be deeply appreciated, but we're both aware it's an absurd number. If we fail to meet it, we're both keenly aware it's not through any lack of generosity - I cannot possibly express how grateful we are for the help we have received already, and what a massive difference it has made over the last month as we deal with the immediate and long-term fallout, covering her haul-out and towing and bills over the months it will likely take to resolve all this.
Fixing Nautilus: my partner and I are still committed to repairing her, despite the cost and the time involved. The thought of letting her be cut up for salvage is too heartbreaking to bear. But at the pace things are progressing and with the resources we have, it's obvious now that it's not feasible to fix her fully over the winter; it will instead be over the course of several years. However, my partner and I hope that by doing as much of the work ourselves as we are qualified for, we can bring down the overall cost of repairs by a fair amount. Additionally, the broken mast was built only a few years ago by a gentleman who still has the plans for it and is willing to guide us through the process of building a replacement. There is a possibility we can connect with a local boat building school's fledgling restoration program. And a great many people have offered their time, advice, expertise, and contacts. The timeline has changed, but we are not giving up on her.
In the meantime: with the survey done, we now have at least a general idea of what the future will look like. Since working nonstop to get Nautilus sailing again by June is not on the table any longer, my partner and I are currently figuring out a long-term plan for ourselves, our little company, and the Nautilus herself. We have discussed a few ideas, which I'll share more about once we settle on anything concrete. Nautilus herself is finally clear of wreckage, with the pieces of her mast on sawhorses beside her, her deck swept clean, solar panel plugged in, and a tarp over the worst of the damage. She's as safe as we can make her for now; there's nothing else we can do except wait for the wheels to turn.
Lastly: thank you all, more than I can say. I have been trying not to miserypost, but I have been having a very hard time dealing with this, as has my partner. It took us ten years to save the money we put into Nautilus, and the few months we were able to spend sailing her together were the happiest and proudest I have been in my life. We have lost the future we'd imagined, and regardless of how this resolves, we are never getting that time back. We are determined not to lose the Nautilus as well, but it has honestly been difficult some days to push through the grief. The one consistent silver lining has been the kindness and sympathy and outrage from everyone who has taken the time to reach out to us. I have been floored, over and over, by how many people we have rooting for us. I am never, ever going to be able to express my full gratitude to all of you. Without exaggeration, you have kept me going.
I will share more once we know more - exact numbers, exact damage, exact plans for repairs and the next steps. Until then, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
#the other crew clearly felt awful and in fairness they were very forthcoming with all the information we needed#but two days later#kneeling on the deck picking up the splinters of the mast and taping over the worst of the exposed wood to keep the rain out#while they laughed and clinked glasses on their yacht which was still docked directly behind us#was a very difficult evening to get through#nautilus update#nautilus fundraiser#nautilus
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Sometimes i lay thinking about them
#about how it could never be a betrayal because they were never friends to begin with#or worse yet: one of them thought they were.#how awful vanessa felt to hurt someone who's never been anything but the kindest soul on earth to her.#how she wished that at the very least they would have a swift and painless end so as to not longer suffer at her unwilling hand.#how she wished they would just stay away. wondering if they would keep smiling this brightly at her if they knew.#and to find out they never actually cared to begin with#that she was never a friend#and now after all this she might never have the chance to be one after all. now matter how much she tries to redeem herself#and that's something they both have to make peace with#they were acquaintances at best who never knew much about each others lives but having that bridge burn down with hell flames#was something neither of them wanted and will have to live with while facing each other for a very long time#they don't forgive her. she doesn't either#immortal au#sunshine talks#doodles#sunshine draws#wip#oc#i know nobody cares i just have a lot of thoughts about the fucked up relationships in this au
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#girl im in love w you#SOOO FREKAKING COOLL RRGAAAHG#begging to see her in every new panel#sry im so happy i havent felt this good in a while HELLOP#isnt tht insane .like if i have nothing to fixate onmy life feels so boring usleess awful#but when i do its like the dolphin jump out of water rainbow sparkle pic#like worst behavior 2 develop ever but idc im back onn that high#get uppp get on ur feet#dunmeshi#falin#dunmeshi 52#dunmeshi spoilers#dungeon meshi spoilers#ask to tag idk what is popularly used;_;#kind of laughing 2 myself bc every time this happens its like im realizing it for the first tjme all over again#always in the spring tooHELPP 2022 yr of blp 2023 yr of trgn 2024 dunm LETS GOOO
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carry on, as if nothing really matters.
Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen // Remy “Thirteen” Hadley, House M.D., Last Resort and The Dig
#i am so sorry y’all this came to me while driving and i had to get it out skfjejkwms#web weaving#remy thirteen hadley#house md#hate crimes md#houseposting#thirteen house md#remy hadley#if it helps i gave myself feelings too🫠#an anya original#making this felt like getting kicked in the throat#aw damn i forgot the i in ‘i sometimes wish i’d never been born at all’ lol typos 5ever<3#v*#100#5x09#7x18#my webs
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Raised in Amphibia AU Marcy has a very complicated relationship with Andrias. They love each other and see each other as father and daughter. He never yells at her, never raised a hand at her, yet she's so utterly terrified of him. She doesn't even know why she feels like this, but all she wants is to not lose his love and to make him proud, and feels like she's always in debt, always failing at earning her place, always desperately two steps behind, never quite pleasing him.
She gives up so much of herself to earn his love and approval... she keeps most of her less useful interests secret, she doesn't have any friends except for maybe Lady Olivia, she drops whatever she's doing, no matter how important, to go to her father when he calls her, she "forgets" about her feelings when they're inconvenient to him...
She used to wear her hair long because he liked it. He never pressured her to wear it like that, possibly didn't even notice the effects his words had on her, but he once said it's what's traditional for the Leviathan royal family, and that it looked good in her, and she was determined to keep hers as long as possible, until one day she can't handle all the stress and anxiety and she desperately cuts it all in her bedchambers. Now it's so short, barely reaching her jaw. She cried herself to sleep that night. Andrias didn't say anything about it, only that it looked nice, and Marcy feels her heart sink - she let it grow for years no matter how uncomfortable it was or how little she liked it for nothing.
#amphibia#raised in amphibia au#marcy wu#andrias leviathan#marcy leviathan#princess marcy#princess marcy leviathan#cutting her hair wasn't premeditated. she did it while having a breakdown#it was her nervous system's impulse to fight in any way possible. to reclaim as much control as she possibly could.#only for andrias to later gaslight her into thinking there was something to fight against#that she was just imagining things to think her hair represented anything#it makes her feel really stupid looking back#and the court whispers about her change in look and how non-traditional she looks. everyone already questioned her status#as a legitimate leviathan princess and rightful heir to the throne#some even denied she was a newt at all! could you believe that? her dad is a newt - what else could she be?#now she breaks tradition by cutting her hair as short as a boy's? oh what would her grandfather say!#the odd rouguish farm girl with curly hair and a bright smile who claims not to be neither frog nor toad not newt despite looking#an awful lot like Marcy...#she visits her in Newtopia every now and then and she had the biggest smile when she saw her again after her little Anxiety Makeover#she ruffled her hair and told her she looked ''amazing'' and ''really really beautiful'' and ''absolutely adorable''#it was rare for people to think Marcy was pretty - most newts thought she was monstruously deformed -#but this girl never held back on compliments. maybe she saw her in a better light because they were equally deformed#but it always makes Marcy's chest bloom with warmth#and that day as they were catching up - chatting in the palace rooftops - sharing sweets stolen from the kitchens - Marcy felt so *free*#my posts#marcanne#technically sashannarcy but like eventually
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heyy i see sonadow angst is a thing you're into.. and i published an audio drama earlier that should satisfy that nicely
https://youtu.be/XzEQ6nSg-v4
YOU MADE THIS?!?!?!?!??!?
DUDE WHAT THE F U C K /POS x9000000000 POS POS POS
THIS MADE MY NIGHT YOU DID SUCH AN AMAZING JOB YOUR SO TALENTED???? HELLO??? OMG THIS HURT MY SOUL GODDAMN
Thank you sm for showing this to omg I'll 100% be checking out your other works wow ow ow OW OW MY HEARTTTT
#ask#ITS SOOOO GOOOOOOD#AND SAD#AHHH I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE ABOUT FORCES DAMN IT#WHAT THE FUCK#this instantly reminded me of when I comforted one of my friends during highschool#all I could do was hold her while she cried I felt awful but all I wanted to do was be there for her#this was amazing op what the hell#MAKING ME SOB LIKE A BABY OVER HERE DAMN IT
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its so hard to talk about how traumatic it is to watch somebody be claimed by dementia without going "well i cant complain because at least i wasnt the one losing my mind (for now)" but that shit fucks you up so much. that ghost is going to haunt me for the rest of my life and all i can do is hope it Stays a ghost
#tiddytaco#b#thinking about it rn bc today while i was driving my mom home from pt#she saw someone she knew from years ago driving & was like FOLLOW THAT CAR & we met them in a parking lot#& the conversation turned to 'hey what the hell happened to your parents' pretty quickly bc our families hadnt been in touch#& it was a long conversation in the hobby lobby parking lot#& idk if itll ever Stop being fresh in my mind but now its Extra fresh in my mind#that whole time period was just so insane & awful#bc it was like Ok we're caring for both grandparents#& then my grandpa died#& all our pets at the time were very old#& when he died it occurred to me that we could easily lose both grandparents and all 3 pets within the year#it turned out to be like a long drawn-out year & a half from the first to the last#& looking back it seems impossible that is was that short a time period bc it felt like an eternity#we got off easy with grandpa bc he died before it got too bad but with grandma it just kept getting Worse#& the climax of the caring experience was traveling to take her to my uncle bc he wanted to take his shift caring for her#& that was so . So bad. SO bad#like it literally could not have gone more smoothly and it was SO bad#just thinking about it i feel like im there again i get so stressed out
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ddcds. for u (hopefully ur day will b a bit better!)
had to take a second to respond to this because dear GOD this made me lose coherent thoughts. ahem
#asks#ddcd#i. i want to start up a good feral tag ramble but the only thing i can think of is to break down wailing /pos#my friend. beloved acquaintance of mine. you canNOT keep doing this one day you will fuckinf kill me of heart attack on the spot#i keep stepping away from this every couple minutes i haven’t felt this much emotions in eons. please have the courtesy to picture-#-my tone as that of soft awe. i am barely forming comprehensible sentences out here dear god#i’d also like to mention that i am in love with how you draw carapace. it all flows very smoothly and feels correct in an indescribable-#fuck the tumblr tag limit#-sort of manner.#your expressions are immaculate and manage to perfectly encapsulate these two#just. everything in general makes me even more fascinated with. well. [gestures abstractly]#please be ever so kind as to excuse me while i yell into a pillow for half an hour. i will be delivering you all of my money-#-as compensation for this on the morrow. thank you#fave
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teehee
Happy birthday @shinechermont !
Here our girls hanging out because I thought it'd be fun uwu
Rose
thanks @ari-cuno for organizing that collab gift thingie!!!
#me doing artz#Vivid#Rose#aftermare shipkid#hey sweetie may your day be great#awesome even#I'm so proud of you#it's an honor to watch you grow#(and you will still grow regardless of what the law says ;3)#love you lots#you have a beautiful soul#can't believe the itty bitty baby I met years ago is leaving the kiddy room#aw my sappy sap isn't enough to my liking#oh I know#I think I said that often enough but never enough#you improved so much art-wise like it's crazy#don't get me wrong I still like your old stuff#but every once in a while I see an art of you on my dash and I take a second to think that wow#crazy it's the same person#I AM PICKING YOU UP AND SPINNING YOU#WE'RE DOING SPINNY#SPIN SPIN#you have no choice on the question#my arms are picking you up and you can't escape#that gif is sooooo rough but I felt I might get a bit shouted at for being unreasonable since I started this wednesday and believe me it wa#so tempting to go full on render and all but honestly I wouldn't have slept for several days and I thought you might hit me or something if#I pulled that again X'Dc#tho it was fun to allow myself to go rough and wing it so enjoy the ugly hug it was made with the heart#gift for AC
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does any other demiromantic (or arosepc doesnt rlly matter) feel like. extremely awful when they experience romantic attraction or is that just me.
#spacie spoinks#bruh#like. while im experiencing it i wish so badly that i wasnt 😭#i feel disgusted. is this what romantic repulsion is???#cuz like ill be experiencing all the lovey dovey stuff yk#''ooohb i wanna kiss dem oooh what if we help hands'' romantic crap but its like. anxiety inducing#like it feels awful??? is this normally how it feels?? i dont like it.#it like. doesnt feel right or natural and im assuming its b/c i just like?? barely feel it ever?? and thats why???#strange as hell.#i recently felt romantic attraction 2 someone (it has been 2 or 3 years since i last felt it) and it came on really strong for like#a week and that was like the worst week of my life#i couldnt think abt anything else but them like it wasnt even like. fantasies or anything just like.#the concept of them. my brain would just be like ''hey remember this guy''#I LIKE COULDNT SLEEP#HOW DO YOU PPL ENJOY THIS????#me; clutching my head for ~a week: AUUUGH!! THE PERSON!!! THE PERSON!!!!!#im so serious this is how it feels w/springtrap. hes like a blight on my psyche#the feelings have faded mostly i think. i think im normal abt them again (thank god)#its so strange. i think a romantic relationship would be fun but then i start feeling the feelings and its. awful.#so horrid#also like. im considering that maybe the relationship i would like some day isnt romantic but a qpr#idk. ive never been in any kind of serious relationship (never wanted 2 and have never been approached for it)#sometjing 2 think abt i guess?#anybeans. i tire.#hope i never experience that again#ik that like in 2-3 years ill be like: ''man. idk what past spacie was talking abt. would be nice 2 feel romantic attraction again''#NO SPACIE IT WONT!!! REMEMBER!!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT YOU WENT THRU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i don’t know who needs to hear this but good men do exist, they are soft and gentle and respectful, they hold you when you cry and pet your hair and place gentle kisses over your whole body and learn every little thing they can about you and strive to keep you safe and be a friend as well as a lover and they treat everyone and animals with respect and don’t say misogynistic sexist racist phobic things and they sing with you loudly in the car and let you braid their hair as practice and say i love you without you having to say it first and express their love for you in front of everyone and they look at you deeply and support your every decision and lowest moment and wish nothing but greatness for your health and mental betterment and treat women and men and all with such kindness. good men exist, good men deserve the same love and respect and kindness and support that you would give to anyone with a good soul. good men understand, and they will always be here with genuine hearts
#thoughts#felt it needed to be said like#just because one celebrity finally shows everyone that good men exist unapologetically#they are all around us and deserve to be seen and appreciated#good hearts calling out to good hearts#men have bright souls and a gentle disposition if you don’t keep your eyes closed just because you had a bad experience with men#like yes men can suck and be awful but so are women and so can be anyone#and while i am thankful pedro pascal is showing what good men look like let us not ignore the fact#that he isnt the only one#he just happens to be famous and now in the public eye and obviously is someone men should strive to be#but some men are already that wholesome and giggly and soft and kind and genuine and i want to acknowledge them#i love u bois#bunni speaks
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Not going to lie, I've been unsure how to feel about a lot of things writing, but I just made myself cry writing a character death that I've had planned since I plotted this novel out and that is reassuring to me for some reason.
#sorry all my posts are about this#i'm not saying i wrote it so well that i cried#maybe that'll come in editing lol the good writing part#but like i have gotten very attached to these characters#even minor side characters who are kind of awful#when i say i felt nothing over this character death while outlining i am not exaggerating#i was like 'okay for this to happen x character has to die' and it just makes sense#BUT NOW I'M SAD ABOUT IT#easily one of the most fun things i have written in this project though#i also have another really devastating scene to write before i can call this book finished and i am SO excited for that#writing is weird you guys#personal
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i will say again and again how DELIGHTED i am that priya won. but i am also delighted that she and bowie made it to the finale together. about halfway through my initial watch of the season i just kinda went “oh it has to be them in the final two. it HAS to be” and for once in my life total drama agreed!! because it couldn’t be anyone else it HAD to be them!! and it was!!
#td spoilers#idek if this makes sense#im just overly emotional about the fact that priya won#because she was like the new courtney to me (and we all know how i feel about courtney)#and the WHOLE TIME i wanted her to win so badly while believing based on their past seasons fresh would never let her#and then they did!!!#ive never had a fav of mine win before!! never!! and the fact that the fav who trained her whole life for this won...#makes me emotional!!#god its unreal having a new season in 2023#i feel like im in middle school again#oh!! but also like bowie was such a strong competitor that he had to make it too!!#like i was SO worried that his fight with emma would get him eliminated which would have been AWFUL#but its such a fucking total drama thing to pull that it wouldnt have surprised me#but he didnt get out bc of emmas shitty relationship!! he stayed in!!#he stayed and he slayed lmao#no but yeah i just. really really appreciate how the final two were actually two of the strongest smartest and hardest working competitors#it felt FAIR in a way a lot of the td finales havent felt to me#like neither of them really relied on plot armor to get there#td bowie#td priya#im writing a whole essay in these tags
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my hope for the pokemon presents that i know will not happen is gates to infinity remake ok bye
#listen i knowwwwwwww explorers is more popular and its got more fans and itd sell well and itd be good to see it in the spotlight#i agree with all that it makes sense. but i cant help but view it as a bowsers inside story remake scenario#where its just like. kinda pointless bc the original is functionally fine#meanwhile my soul hurts when i think about how gti was kinda screwed over by its development and time#it came out during that time all 3ds games felt really janky to play so it feels awkward#and like. just compare the environments in gti compared to psmd#psmd doessss have more diverse environments to be fair but environments that should feel more grand just feel off in gti#like glacier palace doesnt look AWFUL but it hurts to see it compared to the animated version from the commercials#and like. imagine the glow up if it got the dx treatment. if the environments were all fixed and the job system was updated#and we got a larger starter pool and maybe even a postgame. ik they didnt add much to pmd dx#but that game had a fairly beefy postgame and all that while gti has.... pretty much nothing besides dlc#anyways it wont happen bc gti is the most hated pmd game by a fairly wide margin and itd piss ppl off and itd probably get a bullshit $60#price tag#but like. i want it. i want it ok. i want to see them fix gti and bring out its full potential. i love its story sm#ik theres the demake but theyre also changing the pokemon choices there (which ik they cant help. repository doesnt have timburr and gurdur#but still) so i kinda wanna wait to see when thats done or its got all the assets
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.
#tw suicide#tw overdose#tw suicide attempt#a close friend of mine overdosed for the 4th time in as many weeks last night and i just dont know what to feel anymore#she was sent home from the emergencies the 1st time and was staying with me for the 2nd which i still feel guilty about#how i was an idiot for not hiding any meds while i was in the shower#spent the full day at the hospital with her to make sure she was taken into inpatient care and not just dismissed#then yesterday morning shes released from the hospital and winds up in the same place that dismissed her the 1st time in the evening#and now isnt replying to any of my messages#and im just oscillating between feeling sick to my stomach with anxiety and nothing at all#and then feeling guilty when i feel nothing#or guilty that im angry at her because she purposefully did and said thing to hurt me#but shes hurting and i need and want to give her some slack but i just felt that attachment i had to her fade after the last thing she did#and i cant even bring it up with her bc last time i did she spiralled and didnt talk to me for a week#which is fucking worrying when shes so unstable#but ive not been eating or sleeping and just feel awful and anxious#at least now i have xanax for the panic attacks and dont have to rely on alcohol anymore but god#i just want things to get better#vent#delete later
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