#but he’s obsessed w frog lady

[pinkfey]

i’ll never stop thinking about her

[rollercoasterwords]

hiiiiiii!! i don't have the brain to do or watch anything atm but i would LOVE some movie recs please 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

YAY ok assuming this is coming from the 80s movie post so. here r some of my favorite 80s movies:

ridiculous campy fun:

earth girls are easy (1988) - fucking LOVE this movie!!! such a fun time. horny aliens crash their spaceship on earth + get taken in by a human woman. also it's a musical comedy + the aliens are played by jeff goldblum jim carrey and damon wayans

hell comes to frogtown (1988) - also. obsessed w this one. post-apocalyptic world where society is a matriarchy + humans need 2 repopulate. protagonist is a Manly Man who has been discovered to have a Mega-High Sperm Count, making him a government asset so a sexy military doctor locks him up in a chastity cage 2 conserve his precious sperm. also there are mutated frog people + they kidnapped a bunch of ~fertile~ human women to keep as sex slaves so Manly Man needs 2 accompany sexy military doctor + sexy soldier to go rescue the ladies from Frogtown so he can fuck them <3 also his name is Sam Hell. hence. 'hell comes to frogtown'

clue (1985) - based on the board game!! murder mystery comedy w wacky characters + an ending that is oh-so-fun

weird dark fantasy:

the company of wolves (1984) - the movie that inspired my 80s movie post 2nite <3 creepy fairytale retelling of red riding hood w a bunch of stories-within-a-story so that it ends up feeling like some sort of fever dream matryoshka doll

labyrinth (1986) - one of my FAVORITE movies of all time!!!!! david bowie is a goblin king who kidnaps the protagonist's baby brother as a favor 2 her + then when she's like actually i want him back he's like ok solve my maze then <3

return to oz (1985) - sequel to 'the wizard of oz' that is like. 10 times darker + weirder + creepier + definitely scarred me + my twin when we watched it as children lol. dorothy won't stop talking abt oz so she's taken 2 a mental institution for electroshock therapy. queue dramatic storm + sudden return to oz except the city is in ruins + dorothy needs 2 save the day

horror:

aliens (1986) - sequel to alien (1979) which just missed the cutoff for making this list + i also recommend--but u don't NEED 2 watch it 2 watch this movie. outer space creature feature meets slasher survival horror. xenomorph i love u <3

the thing (1982) - another sci-fi alien horror but this time it follows a group of researchers in the arctic who encounter an alien that can change shape 2 look like any of them. queue paranoia. there's also a more modern remake of this movie if i'm not mistaken

day of the dead (1985) - probably romero's least well-known zombie movie lol but a fun one nonetheless! good if u like 80s movies + zombie movies which. i do <3

the shining (1980) - oooh artsy spooky hotel horror.....a classic to be honest....

animated:

the last unicorn (1982) - ANOTHER favorite movie of all time for me!!!! unicorn who lives in isolation in a forest overhears two humans talking about how there are no more unicorns in the world + is like what i can't be the only one left...so she sets out on an adventure 2 try and find out what happened 2 all the unicorns <3 another movie that scarred me as a child bc of how creepy + dark it was

nausicaa of the valley of the wind (1984) - studio ghibli <3 this is one of my fave ghibli films. post-apocalyptic wasteland where giant bugs roam the earth....amazing

castle in the sky (1986) - more ghibli! girl w mysterious magic necklace meets boy who is searching for castle in the sky. also they are being chased by pirates + creepy government agents. FUN

kiki's delivery service (1989) - aaaaand more ghibli. teenage witch sets out 2 make her way in the world + encounters existential dread <3

classics:

heathers (1988) - veronica decides that she's sick of her mean-girl popular friendgroup + at the same time meets Mysterious New Boy. when she complains 2 him abt her friends he starts killing them <3

the princess bride (1987) - based on the book (which i also recommend!!); i feel like everyone knows this movie but. basically fairytale-esque romance abt a girl named buttercup who falls in love w a farmboy named wesley but then wesley gets murdered by pirates...or so it seems....

ferris bueller's day off (1986) - teenagers decide 2 skip school + run amok in chicago. wahoo!!

[gally-hin-phantom]

Because I have the worse AUs ideas asdfghjkl [and f the bad art quality I was artblocking]

AU where Danny is a kindergarten teacher at « Amity Garden » and the ghosts are human children that give him sooooooo many troubles & headaches

According to this au’s rules all full ghosts are children so Dan is a child too 🤷‍♀️🙃 and is Danny and an unnamed woman ‘s biological son for angst reasons

Additional ao3 link fic > here + More information and various additional sketches/drawings bellow the « Keep Reading »

xoxox

Skulker : Skulker is the smallest child of the kindergarten though not the easiest and often get into troubles. He spends most of his time trying to catch various wild animals and is quite talented at catching butterflies. His dreams is to catch a frog (they are too fast for him) and giving it to his tall “wife” Ember, who he is very proud of.

Ember : She is also a regular troublemaker and dreams of becoming one day a pop star (sweet innocence), she is also quite skilled at drawing & painting.

Lunch Lady: She spends most of her time playing “tea time” alone with random stuffs she found outside, like grass, leaves, rock, suspicious water… and if you don’t eat/drink what she prepares to you with so much care, she will become crazy mad, so no children want to play with her by fears. Outside of that she is quite a calm and pleasant child. Not a picky eater.

Box Ghost: Boxie is a child who likes to play the “bad guy” at playground, but since he isn‘t very good nor convincing, the other kids prefer to leave the “bad guy” role to somebody else anybody else. Maybe the most innocent kid of the batch, a bit loud but easy to take care off.

He also has weird tendencies with boxes, and loves the beanie his mother knitted, if you try to remove it he will cry.

Technus: He tends to bring portable console games at the kindergarten, making Danny confiscates it for the rest of the day and making him cry.

Desiree: People-pleasers, has a hard time saying no and so is often dragged into troubles. Love Disneys and dreams of becoming a princess. Hate boys.

Walker: Good boy who follows the rules. Hate by his peers. A snitch.

Johnny: “Of course having 3 wheels is harder than having 2 Ember, you don’t know how to count.” The sole kid who has a bike. Johnny has a black german shepherd puppy named “Shadow” that followed him everywhere, Danny allows Johnny to let it outside as a the kindergarten’s mascot as long as Shadow stays obedient. His best friend is Skulker.

Kitty: Johnny’s “wife”. Kitty is a very clingy and needy child, easily jealous if Johnny doesn’t give her attention, or if Danny is too busy taking care of another child instead of playing with her. Her best friend is Ember and they like creating troubles together, especially to annoy boys.

Fright Knight : He is a very skinny and is often sick, so he needs a lot of attention. Kind of very obedient. Was friend with Pariah, but he distances himself. Strangely now friend with Dan. Hates pumpkin dishes. Is scared of Halloween/ghosts stories.

Sidney: Kind boy who is often bullied by his peers (Danny constantly keeps an eye on him to protect him). Love super hero comics and old b&w cartoons more. Dream of becoming a super hero or a policeman to fight « villains ». Is friend with Dora.

Dorathea & Aragon: Aragon is a mean boy who enjoys playing “king” and the authority he has on others (especially his sister Dora), though Pariah always remind him who is stronger and the real “king” in the kindergarten.

Dorathea is a sweet girl who, like Sidney has a hard time being more assertive around her peers. Dreams of becoming a princess or a dragon, she didn’t decide yet. Friends with Sidney and Desiree. Has a weird crush on Fright Knight, and him too but they are too shy to say or do anything beside giving flowers 🤷‍♀️

The twin siblings have at home matching dragon’s plushies.

Spectra: She is obsessed by being quickly an adult, being pretty, princess etc… Very mean she is quite intelligent and sharp for her young age. Like to ask embarrassing questions to Danny just to annoy him even though she clearly knows the answer like : « where are babies come from ? » Is jealous of Paulina‘s beauty and her being an adult.

Pariah: Second most troublesome kid, Pariah is very nasty and spoiled. He is the most popular among the kindergarten but also feared, called “king” by a fair amount of children. Pariah also tends to fight easily or use strength to have what he wants. The only other kid who is able to fight back and have the upper hand is Dan, who gave him a black eye and a patch because Pariah likes to taunt Dan about the fact that he doesn’t have a Mother. They aren’t in best terms (they hate each other and fight a lot, to Danny’s despair).

CW and Sojourn: They are twins siblings and the oldest of the kids, probably the most intelligent and sharp too.

Cw likes to say that the days his hair are down he is “a girl”, and the days he ties his hair he is “a boy”, and doesn’t like the concept of gendered toys. He loves girls’ jewelries especially if it’s shiny. A bit quiet and cryptic, but still liked among the kindergarten. Favorite color is purple. Tend to avoid nap time, tend to REALLY avoid nap time, tend to cheat in games, tend to REALLY cheat in games. Has some weird sense of humor, quite dense sometimes, zero self preservation, dragged into troubles and have bad friends/loves interests tastes.

Sojourn, well, nobody really know Sojourn, he is very quiet and on the contrary of his twin brother who tries to make friends, he prefers to watch insects and loneliness. If he doesn’t like somebody Sojourn will ignore them, and makes clear he likes someone by sitting in companionable silence, so really it’s hard to tell the difference. Dislikes Dan.

Nocturn: Third oldest child after Clockwork and Sojourn, Nocturn is a child with heavy narcolepsy. Not often in trouble, easy to take care off, he sleeps a lot and won’t skip nap time for anything in the world. Nocturn carries his favorite stars blanket everywhere and don’t share it with anybody beside his best friend Clockwork. Try really hard to force Clockwork to sleep and sometimes most of the time prevent him of doing something stupid (is probably Clockwork‘s sole friend with a minimum of common sense).

Paulina : Danny’s coworker, she is very kind and patient, and way more respected in the kindergarten. When she explains gently various concepts like love, respect or even harder stuffs like gender or same-sex mariage to the children, they always sit and listen quietly.

Danny & Dan : Danny is liked by every children but strangely they love to make life harder for him.

Dan is an “accident” and an unwanted child. Danny got him very young but love him a lot nonetheless, Dan is his everything. (Fic about their past before the Kindergarten > here)

Youngest kid but troublesome, Dan is the most troublesome child of the kindergarten and feared by all his peers, he has at least try to fight everybody once. He has very little friends beside Clockwork and Fright Knight (maybe Nocturn). Destructive, pick fights easily, short-tempered, he does have a kinder side, maybe because of Danny’s authority, patience and gentle influence.

xxx

I don’t have ideas for every ghosts so be free to send me your ideas by asks 🤪

[kakyoinryoko]

i know u only mentioned this a few days ago but i would like to hear about ur future kakyoin lore

ok i am finally answering this <3

let me start out by saying many months ago i made a post about part 4 kakyoin that is still pretty much in line with what i think so that covers a good portion of it. also these screenshots from dm conversations w a couple friends. (you’re gonna have to click through them i don’t wanna put a huge trail of images on this post. and they’re old screenshots so i can’t really go back and just paste the plain text. really sorry about this.)

these conversations mostly revolved around his relationship to jotaro, though, so outside of that, i think he would go on to become a visual artist, and the speedwagon foundation has the pull to make sure he becomes successful enough to survive on that. i know artist is a pretty common headcanon for him because he does that painting once (and then literally never makes any art again) so it feels a little bland to me honestly but i’m just too obsessed with the idea of him trying to create evil art that is subject to being banned in some states to give it up. kakyoin would make a walk-around art exhibit that’s a bunch of sharp metal spikes hanging precariously from the ceiling by thin clear wires or something. kakyoin would make sculptures of horrors beyond human comprehension. i don’t know. it’s fun to me. a little.

also i am quite enamored with the idea of him going missing on purpose again for a few months. maybe even a year or two. sometime around his mid 20s he is just like hmm i think i will fake my death 💖 and he does. he eventually comes back though because jotaro suspects he is still alive and starts looking for him because of course he would do anything to give himself another responsibility to keep himself away from home. which ruins the fun for kakyoin. he doesn’t want to see jotaro he wants him dead. sad

eventually after he starts talking to jotaro again or whatever i think he and jolyne would come to be good friends especially once she’s around stocean age. i like to think he and holly and jolyne are all three besties and they go out and get their nails done together and do brunch every month or something. quite insane of me but honestly jolyne and kakyoin’s relationship as friends/family is potentially one of the most interesting in the series to me but i literally made it up it does not exist. this is funny of me. i’m having fun. the stone free/hierophant similarities are just too great i NEED them to get along i need them to know each other. and i have to do everything myself.

beyond that i think he starts dressing like an old lady i say this all the time. he dresses like a grandma and a grandpa simultaneously. he dresses like his own mother. he dresses like frog and toad. etc. one little idea i like is that he gets one grey streak in the front of his bangs around his mid 30s (joestar proximity stress) but never really goes grey aside from that one place. also i think his hair is naturally brown but he maybe dyes the grey streak red like old times. i think i’m getting to the point of talking about excessive useless details so i will stop here. thank u for your patience i am sorry i took days to respond

[vagabond-pinky]

10 Faves in 10 Fandoms

tagged by the awesome @gosalynmallardlockdown

i legit don’t know if i’m in 10 fandoms lol

1. John Doe from Telltale’s Batman: the Enemy Within. John is my fav fictional character ever. I draw him too much and I have a poster and mouse pad of one of my drawings of him. i don’t think i’ll ever stop drawing or writing for him. BTEW is also what got me into batjokes, dc, and the Joker. and clowns 🤡

2. Tony Stark/Iron Man in the MCU. Iron man 2 was the first marvel movie i had ever seen, and legit, he is the love of my life. i have an iron man shrine and a life-size decal of him. i have so much merch of him and i went to avengers: endgame dressed as him with props, like his mask and repulsor blaster. iron man 1 through 3 are fantastic and just *chefs kiss*

3. Kory Anders/Koriand’r in Titans. I haven’t finished season 2 of titans yet, but season 1 is AWESOME. legit loved it from the beginning and i was hype as soon as i saw the trailer. it gave me so much i had ever wanted and i would die for Miss Anders. kory is so fantastic and beautiful and i just. i wish i could be her. i started wearing high heel boots because of her. QUEEN

4. Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb. so I grew up w pnf and from the beginning, perry was my fav character, though i love everyone. i didn’t really become obsessed with the show until after it ended. i would come home from school and there’d always be reruns, so i would watch it every day. then i binged it on netflix and just. i’ve seen every ep several times, both movies, the live show (on youtube), pnf take two, doof’s daily dirt. yeah. everything.

5. Theron Shan in Star Wars: The Old Republic. it’s hard to pic a fav in this game since i typically love my ocs more, but theron is just awesome. he’s a wreck, constantly fails, is adorable, and is voiced by my fav voice actor, Troy Baker. i legit made my agent exclusively to romance theron. he’s my boy

6. Dorian Pavus from Dragon Age: Inquisition. showstopping. beautiful. breathtaking. spectacular. i just love him. the first time i played dai, i was a lady qunari romancing iron bull and i thought dorian was just okay. then i did his companion quest and i just. omfg fell in love. so i romanced him with a lavellan. pavellan for life!

7. Princess Tiana from Princess and the Frog. it’s hard for me to decide my fav disney princess , but i’m pretty sure it’s tiana. She’s hardworking, wonderful, i just love her. i also think it’s interesting that her arc is learning to enjoy life and not overwork herself, which isn’t really an arc i see in a lot of female characters, especially in the princess lineup. also, i hate disney for how they treated her. you can tell disney didn’t really care about her or her movie, making it 2D, hiring randy newman to make the songs, and marketing it terribly. it’s a shame since Tiana is such a wonderful character! <3

8. Alex Mercer from [PROTOTYPE]. so this game is amazing and it’s legit a part of my personality. i played it first when i was little, then my copy of the game broke. it wasn’t until i saw Venom in theatres did it like make me remember how much i loved the game. so i had to buy it again lol Alex is fantastic and i need a movie of the game. i’m going to write a script. i need it. alex will be played by rami malek XD

9. Katsa from Graceling. my fav book and fav protagonist. katsa is wonderful and deeply flawed. she’s my fav character in the book series and graceling is my fav of the 3 books. she’s really unique as a character, a female character, and a YA protagonist. fingers crossed for Winter Keep!

10. Eddie Brock in Venom. i just rewatched venom recently and it made me realize how much eddie is just the opposite of these toxic-masculinity male protagonists. eddie is kind, sensitive, a loser, flawed but also a good person. he just makes me happy. im so excited for V:LTBC!!!

there are other characters not in specific fandoms like batgirl or harley quinn, but i didn’t know where to put them lol

tagging! @chokit-pyrus @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond @it-runs-in-the-fandom @friedpotstickers and whoever idk

[anangelicday-mrwolf]

Wolfsbane : Noblesse Fanfic (post-ending)

(previous chapter)

Chapter 36 – Disorder in Order

‘I don’t get it.’

The man’s fingers clasped his biceps tighter as his arms were crossed.

The 3rd Elder was seated on his bed, his brain whirring madly in reflection.

The day that QuadraNet’s switch was supposed to be turned on – or rather, the day that according to Helga they would get to find the opportunity they have been waiting for, he fulfilled his mission.

That was the day for him to make good use of the mayhem everyone will go through and pick up any vulnerability or noteworthy factor they could use against the blonde scientist, who will surely prove himself as the tallest, hardest, and mightiest wall for the surviving Union to break through.

And on the D-day, Helga’s words came true.

Apparently all networks connected for the QuadraNet had gone haywire; not even Frankenstein could stay free from alarm.

No, he was more than alarmed; he was in panic.

‘As far as I know, he didn’t take part in the project. That day he was there simply to watch QuadraNet come alive. Which must be why he was so flustered, since he was in no position to do something about it, with no one to answer him, let alone help him.’

During the event, Frankenstein was basically stuck in the middle of his cave expedition, with all the lighting equipment mysteriously sabotaged, trapped in a pitch-dark space with the rest of his team too far away to reach, with no option other than emitting echoes of cries unanswered.

But Frankenstein was no idiot. In fact, when it comes to technology he is a virtuoso, competent enough to make Union covet and compete against him.

So to nobody’s wonder, Frankenstein eventually recovered the transmission and reconnected to the rest, incredibly fast for someone who was invited as a spectator.

Naturally, he could not spare his attention to anything else other than his computers.

Thus he gave 3rd Elder enough time to flaunt his skills in profiling and snooping.

‘Though I had to be extra-careful, in consideration of the person I was snooping about.’

As Frankenstein’s eyes were successfully diverted, 3rd Elder headed to the lab, to make use of the gear he was so thankful he had packed: a spray that reveals fingerprints, a development from a life technology company under Union’s possession, once used by civilians as well.

It evaporates over time, leaving no traces whatsoever once it is gone. And it conveys different hues depending on the time the fingerprint was first left, allowing its user to deduce the order and marking time of each fingerprint.

However, it can no longer be seen among civilians, as it was permanently discontinued following the public concern that it must not be led into the wrong hands.

And 3rd Elder could finally make it useful in order to track down Frankenstein’s most recent cognitive journey.

By taking a look at the files he submitted for the human scientist and files the latter had collected by himself, he would be able to pinpoint the main topic of the files or the topic Frankenstein is most interested in.

And ultimately infer what he is most deeply involved with and what he is planning, for the Union to prepare against in advance.

The 3rd Elder gave a little tip regarding this, by telling Helga that Frankenstein specified he intends to find out the reason behind the Noblesse’s mysterious return to life.

Which Helga did not buy.

Listening to you, now there is no doubt it is our gravest woe and fear that the Union had failed in making an ally out of him. Now that he is undeniably our enemy, we should be wary of his every word and action. And do you honestly think he was being honest with you?

He wanted to retort by correcting her assumption – Yes, you can trust him. He’ll never lie when it comes to his master – but he did not; after all, she did have a point.

‘By the way, how come I momentarily got so close to taking his side back then?’

The white-haired man shook his head to tune out a tiny voice within, to instead clutch his arms even tighter and reassess what his scavenging revealed for him.

He decided to add weight to Helga’s claim and delved into as thoroughly as possibly the files Frankenstein had been dissecting, to gain nothing in particular.

The volume and contents were beyond his imaginations, but all in all Frankenstein’s files were centered on similar topics.

Revival. Extension of life. Inducing coma or pseudo-coma state. Definition of biological death. And all that jazz.

QED, they were mostly related to life and death.

‘Which means he was staying true to the goal of his research he shared with me.’

Despite his disappointment, 3rd Elder did not deem his exploration a waste of time.

Which is why he was so puzzled.

‘For some strange reason, I found most of his fingerprints not on his files but on the cup he’d always place on his table. And on the equipment used to generate chemical drink. And he’s touched it very recently.’

To say “most of his fingerprints” was an understatement; for a moment 3rd Elder had thought he became a detective excavating a drug addict’s lair.

So he did not hesitate in pulling out a specially designed slip of paper to dip into Frankenstein’s cup for a sample.

All he has to do is to take the paper to Helga for analysis; this is where a problem arises.

‘The camera and recording device Frankenstein implanted in me may be dormant, but as of now I can’t send this to Helga. Not with Lady Lunark paying visits to this island. Not to mention no chance in hell will she ever trust me. Which means I must be the one to analyze the contents of Frankenstein’s drink.’

The job is neither impossible nor difficult, given that he is provided with appropriate apparatus.

He had trained himself in theories and practices in experiments, having orchestrated and participated in several experiments and projects at the Union.

‘But the only equipment I can use in this place all belong to Frankenstein. I’ll need distraction to use them.’

A single chance – that was all he needed.

A single chance of disturbance equal to the recent uproar affiliated with the QuadraNet. Or Frankenstein’s urgent trip to the werewolf realm.

‘Then it’d be less than a gulp to run the analysis,’ sighed 3rd Elder, his mind tracing back to the transparent plastic bag he had hidden, containing the paper slip safe from oxidation.

‘Should I place an order for disorder to Helga? She’s the one who commanded both occasions.’

Marveling once again at her leadership, 3rd Elder had yet to realize that his chance would come much faster than expected.

*****

It has been days since the night at a café by the beach of Incheon, Korea.

Because of which Yuigi has grown more comfortable around Takio.

The awkwardness and discomfiture she had been haunted with ever since she was parted from Union without consent were pretty much no more.

Nonetheless, Yuigi did not define her standing as better.

‘So let’s say I continue to help him locate Union’s facilities and gain his gang’s trust. And free myself from this choker. But then what? Once the last of the Union is gone, what should I do? What am I supposed to do with my life from then on?’

Driven by the searing guilt that she could not protect her brother and sister, Yuigi had lived a life of obsession with power.

Notwithstanding, she lost the powers she has so very feverishly nurtured. She lost the association and purpose that were entailed.

The life of Raciela, the sister of Arthur and Hailey, had long been disconnected from her.

The life thrusted upon her was the life of Yuigi, a member of the Cerberus, one of the top personal guards of the Union.

And Yuigi’s life was robbed from her over a mere day.

And she had no way to return to Raciela’s life.

She has come too far to indulge in ordinary life now. After all, she was now used to dubbing herself as Yuigi, surrounded by people who treat her as Yuigi, not Raciela.

She was reminded of a fairy tale she once read for her siblings: a story of a frog rejected by all animals.

The frog was born from water, to dwell in and dance across both earth and water once fully matured.

Alas, the frog’s gift of mobility in two completely unidentical domains won itself hatred from creatures of both domains. The creatures of water resented the frog’s ability to walk upon solid ground they could not even dream of; creatures of land were more than unhappy to see a native of aquatic dominion, reckoned inferior by the terrestrial-born, was treading along their footprints.

So in unison, they rejected the frog, to make sure it could find respite in neither the earth nor the water.

‘And looks like I’m the frog right now.’

Also, she had been plagued with void within, now that her life as Yuigi was lost as well. And she knew not how to get rid of the void.

She knew that she could not join what remained of the Union.

‘That’s just unimaginable, as long as this leash stays on me. Besides, even without this choker, I can’t possibly do that. Because...’

At then Yuigi fell heavily in silence, which was already hung upon her entire being.

Because?

Because what?

‘Why would you bring up the term at the moment? Don’t tell me you’ve grown a liking to that guy just because he’s been taking care of you.’

Yuigi violently shook her head, as if a bug had dived into her hair.

She shook her head so hard she thought she could hear her skull vibrating.

No, she actually felt like the entire safehouse was vibrating.

‘...Wait a minute.’

She reconsidered her thought, upon checking the water left in the cup on the table.

She could swear upon her life that nothing in the safehouse was moving, herself included, but the water was trembling, as if there were a quake.

As Yuigi fixed her eyes upon the cup, similar effect started to inflict the possessions within the safehouse, including the chair she was sitting in, the table she set her elbow upon, and the dishes inside the sink that were clattering in a nervous beat.

Just when Yuigi was trying to conjecture what could these be signaling, with a BAM the walls constructed to stand sturdy against majority of firearm and missiles spit out thousands of splinters, like a glass window hit by a brick.

Yuigi was swept in the aftermath and flung through the air, to be caught in the constructions and objects that had been composing the safehouse just a second ago.

Had she not been a modified human, and had Frankenstein employed materials less substantial, she would have never stood on her feet again.

Holding her head in her hand in a desperate attempt to do something about her eardrums, being bombarded with screeches due to the explosion, Yuigi could soon make out the highly likely suspect of the unappreciated delivery of disorder.

Fortunately her eyes were still functional, and she caught the sight of a huge man with hair the color of hay and face similar to that of a gigantic toad.

“...Could sme... I kn... Ver wrong.”

Yuigi had to squint to process what he was talking about, due to the noises that were still whipping up in her ears.

“...Was told... Ract tho... Not thi... Et you here.”

The man smirked, making himself look even more like a toad, with his eyes on Yuigi.

“No offe... Old to do... Be happie... Once I... Ally be... Anding at the spotlight!”

Before Yuigi could catch her breath after she was sure her ears have somewhat returned to normal, the man lunged towards her.

(next chapter)

I introduce you a new character - yes, he is an OC, and he is a supporting character. However, I added him for a reason, and you’d soon get to see why. Stay tuned for more!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #168

“i’ve wished for this, i’ve bitched at that, i’ve left behind this little fact: you cannot kill what you did not create.”

Which internet browser do you use? Chrome. Have you ever lived on a university campus? Nope. When was the last time you saw a photo of your ex? *The* ex, when I was going through old photos on my Mom's FB looking for something. Do you play any games on your phone? DragonVale and Pokemon GO. Have you ever shaved your face? Only above my lip every now and then to avoid that dreaded lady-stache. :') What color is your front door? White. What was the last vaccination you got? Couldn't tell ya. When was the last time you were at a party? A year ago. Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank, or bitch? The only two I can think of are bitch and martyr. Who’s your favorite rapper? And your favorite song by this favorite rapper? Eminem, "Love The Way You Lie" or "Space Bound." How about your favorite band? And your favorite song by this band? Gah you know the story, I'll just do Ozzy for this one. Hard to say. "See You On The Other Side" probably wins, but "Mama I'm Comin' Home" is on its heels. Has anyone ever made a promise to you that they’d change? Who? Juan, probably. What’s your television addiction? I don't watch TV of my own volition, but I'd be happy to watch The Good Doctor. Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? Nothing worse than just getting braces tightened. Is there anyone you’d like to apologize to? Dad again to his face about how wicked I was to him and am so thankful he forgave me. I just haven't because I want that in the past and I'd probably break down anyway. What was the last song you listened to that made you cry? Idk. Could you go a month without talking to your best friend? That's my gf, no, I'd lose my mind. Can you make yourself sneeze? No. Is there something that you haven’t told anyone that you actually would like to tell someone? Meh... I think it's better I don't. How has your style changed since you were in high school? Not really. What was the last new drink you discovered that was delicious? Dunno. What’s the most Lisa Frank-worthy article of clothing you own? Nothing, really. What color is the rim around your full-length mirror? Black. What is your favorite way your hair has ever looked? How it is now. What are five things you are good at? Interacting with animals, being there for people, writing I'd like to think, being a great beast mastery hunter in WoW like 1v1 me bro, and uhhhh panicking over the most minute things. What are five things you are bad at? COMMUNICATING, initiating conversation, arguing w/o crying, understanding finances/economics, and math. Do you enjoy drawing at all? I do, but I rarely do it because I'm way too critical and get annoyed. And fixing mistakes cleanly can be hard. I want a drawing tablet one day hopefully in the near future, because I feel like I'd be more motivated to do it.  Quickly fix errors. What was the last thing you were frustrated with yourself about? Oh boy, idk. This is so common. Do you have unusual sleeping/waking hours? No. In your personal opinion, which hair color is the most beautiful? Probably blonde with some darker highlights I guess, if we're talking about natural colors. Actually, for girls, maybe red. How about eyes? Sapphire. Last sporting event you watched? Dance recital. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. Are you skilled when it comes to working in the kitchen? HA no. Do you listen to music while driving? It has to be quiet or I can't concentrate. What’s your favorite style of jeans? (Skinny, boot cut, flare, etc) Skinny. Are you deathly allergic to anything? No. Who was the last person you had sex with? Or are you a virgin? Jason. Are you Italian? No. Would you ever go vegan? There's no way I could survive. Where’s the nearest GameStop near you? Like... 10-15 minutes? Have you had an argument with anyone recently and if so, do you still have issues with that person? Sara, but only because I said something stupid. No, I have zero issues with her. Who was the last person that asked to hang out with you and what’s the story of how you met that person? Colleen, girl scouts. Is there something you generally always ask for help with? Cleaning the animals' cages. Don't have anything to put them in so I hold them while Mom cleans it. Unfair to her, I know, but I can't do both and Mom doesn't seem to mind, plus she wouldn't hold any of them. Do you own a pocketknife, or any other kind of multi-tool? No. What was the last thing you took a video of? Teddy being a goof. Have you ever been somewhere where you didn’t fluently speak the local language? No. What is your least favorite kind of weather? Hot and humid like fuck off. Describe the 'look’ you did the last time you wore makeup. Uhhh mildly winged liner, black eyeshadow, black lips. If you got pregnant the 1st time you had sex, how old would the kid be now? I don't remember when it was 'cuz I've said before I didn't really. Realize it was sex until literally this year when I looked back on it. But anyway, six-ish. Have you ever polished and waxed your car? N/A As a kid, did you have any friends with parents who yelled a lot? Don't think so. What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken? ODing. Have you ever lived in a small community where everyone knew each other? No. What are some of your least favorite foods? BEANS, mushrooms, asparagus, brussel sprouts, cherries, nuts, etc. etc. etc. I'm picky as hell. Do you give your pets gifts and treats for their birthday/adoption day? Only Teddy 'cuz I actually know his rip. Has anyone ever set you up on a blind date? If so, how did it go? No. Do you believe your ex cares about you? The only ex I feel /sincerely/ does is Girt. What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten? Idk. What would be your most ideal profession? Meerkat biologist. What kind of rides do you enjoy the most at amusement parks? Kinds that don't make me fear vomiting. What is a topic you definitely don’t want to talk about with anyone? Weight. Where do you carry the things you need with you when leaving the house? Pocketbook. What’s the last thing you made with your hands? Uhhhh a drawing? Have you ever been physically or mentally abused? How did it affect you? No. Do you consider yourself a vengeful person? If so, why’d you think that is? Not in the least. Do you own any accessories with your name or initial on them? I have a "B" necklace somewhere from someone, but. Never wear it. Are you nervous/anxious, for any reason at all? Nah. For once. What was the last compliment you received from the opposite sex? Dad said I looked great when I got in the car to go to the theater. Have you ever been to an orchard? No. :c What are your plans for Halloween? I've no clue. :/ Do you plan on carving a pumpkin this year? Yeah. What’s your favorite Halloween movie? Hocus Pocus. What’s your favorite kind of apple? Red. Do you like to roast marshmallows? Yeah. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? N/A When was the last time you stayed in a hotel? Where was it? Shit, not since a dance competition at the beach years ago. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Like twice because I was invited. Who was the last family member of yours that died? Idk. Who was your favorite president? Not educated enough on this. The last type of sandwich you made or ate: I believe ham, cheese, and mustard. The last time the weather was just the way you like it: Been a long time. The last time you apologized and the last time you received one: I dunno. I say "sorry" like obsessively, but a serious apology, idk. To me, either Mom or Sara. Do you have a smartphone or a dumb phone, or no phone? Smartphone. Do you own any tapestries, and if so, what’s on it/them? No. Have you ever made a collage for your bedroom wall? No. What types of churches do you find really boring? All of them. On what day is your local grocery store the busiest? I would guess the weekend? What day do you usually go grocery shopping? I don't, Mom does. She doesn't have a regular day. What devotional do you read, if any? None. What is your favorite color for cars? Burnt orange. Have you ever tried writing with the opposite hand? How good/bad was it? Yeah, not good. Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? Milk/brown. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No. Have you ever written a love letter to someone as a joke? That's fucking evil. No. How many true heart breaks have you had in your lifetime? One. Do you have any gay family members? Mom's cousin or something. Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Sara. Would you ever get a boob job? I DON'T NEED ONE LIKE ONE OF THE THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO MOST WITH LOSING WEIGHT IS NOT HAVING TRISHA PAYTAS TITS. Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person? Me. Have you ever tried to break up anyone because YOU liked the guy/girl? No. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? My very first "boyfriend" I think actually is. I'd be stunned if Juan, Girt, and especially Jason came out, although Jason would make me fucking cackle. Boy could I say some shit about that. Would you ever take someone back if you found out they cheated on you? Nah son. Have you ever lied to your boyfriend/girlfriend? I've never told a serious lie, but I'm sure I've told like minuscule ones ("I'm fine," etc.) every now and again. Would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn? Yup. Minority opinion, but. When was the last time you were on a city bus? Never. Do you have a garden? Does it have flowers, vegetables, or both? No. Have you ever burned an ant with a magnifying glass? No. Have you ever had an ant farm? Maybe? I had a lot of those little animal kit things as a kid, like frogs and butterflies. Have you ever had crabs, turtles, or lobsters? Hermit crabs. Briefly turtles. Has anyone ever told you you’re too young for something? No, I think? Maybe. What about for someone? No. How many times have you changed a diaper in your life? Literally once when it wasn't even dirty???? Why did I do that??????????? Has a younger person ever confided in you as an adult? Yeah. Have you ever felt responsible for someone’s death? No. Who knows your biggest secret and why did you tell them? No one. What’s your best memory with your ex? Aaron: group skating rink date. Juan: I'm not sure, probably making him play a Just Dance game with me lmao. Jason: That's like impossible to say with how long we were together. But a time that will always stand out for me is when we were playfighting, I came storming into the kitchen, big time slipped in the middle of "yelling," and he caught me and we laughed for like a full minute. Tyler: Nothing, really. Girt: He was reading a memento in Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs, and I'll say the writing is very unique, and he got to one sentence he read in THE most incredulous voice, and I spat my drink e v e r y w h e r e. I deadass laughed/cried for like ten minutes and still had outbursts afterwards. It was one of those "you had to be there" things. The last time you felt insulted/offended: Dunno. The last time you held a baby: Over a month ago when I had to hold Keegan for whatever reason. The last form you filled out: Something for my new doctor. The last video game you played: So here's a super weird fact about me; as a kid, I loved hunting games, all the while even then hating hunting for sport irl. Not a clue clue why. I recently got more "back" into gaming and I'm working on beating Dangerous Hunts again. What is your favorite type of cat? Persians. What religion were you raised in? Are you still that religion, if you had one? Roman Catholicism, and no. What religion/spiritual path intrigues you the most, if any? Wiccan and Buddhism. What heritage does your last name imply? Scottish. Recently, what artists/bands have you been listening to a lot? Powerwolf, Mother Mother. Do you know any HTML coding? No. Has anyone ever called you rich? HA as if. What makes you feel beautiful? lol How many bathrooms are in your house? One. Last time you were on a plane and where did you go? March, Illinois. Hopping on one again tomorrow!! Are you considered a very sensitive person? Probably by those who know me well. I know I am. Have you ever told someone you never wanted to speak to them again? Dad, yeah. What is the worst name anyone has ever called you? Being called a martyr still hurts, and that was like two years ago. When was the last time you cried out loud in front of someone? Mom around a week ago or something. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. Have you ever had to be put on medicine for a mental disorder? Yeah. What do you normally drink when eating at a restaurant? Mtn. Dew if Pepsi products, otherwise Coke. Have you ever been in a car accident? One. Are you currently in a happy relationship? YEAH!!!! Do you normally have nightmares or good dreams? Neither. Just weird. What if a friend asked you to go with her to get an abortion? OH WOW I AM *NOT* THE PERSON TO ASK. I really don't know. I've made my opinion on the subject pretty clear, and if the abortion wasn't for your own mental and/or physical health and rather you just not wanting to face the consequences of your actions, idk if I could go. Have you ever had a deep conversation with someone who was high on anything? No. Are you experiencing problems within a current friendship? No. Ever made yourself throw up? No, I fear vomiting too much to ever. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Jason. When at a fast food place, do you usually order a small, medium, or large drink? Medium. Do you dip your pretzels in anything? No. When was the last time you started a new medication? Recently for knee pain. What is your favorite type of nut? None. Where did you eat the best pizza you’ve ever eaten in your life? Literally Domino's lmao. Do you know what year your parents married? No. Do you know anyone who was adopted? Yeah. Do you prefer loose leaf tea or teabags? You know my opinion on tea. What is your favorite place to get Chinese food? I dunno the name of the place Mom goes. Do you part your hair to the side? It's parted far to the left. Is winter your least favorite season? No, it's my second-favorite! Do you know someone who’s a stripper? No. Are you sitting in a spinning chair? No, I'm in bed. When’s the next time you’ll go to a haunted house? I've never been to a "real" one but would LOVE to. How old is too old to trick-or-treat? I really don't care. Honestly believe there's no magic age where it's no longer okay. I still would if not for societal expectations. Have you ever caught a firefly? Yes. Do you own any camouflage? No. What's the next really important thing you have to do? Get to my flight on time. Are you looking forward to anything? T O M O R R O W  A P P R O A C H E S How late is too late for coffee for you? I don't drink coffee. Have you ever written or considered writing a play? No. How about a novel? If so, could you give us the synopsis of the plot? Yeah, as a kid. It was about a family of meerkats of different "breeds" (dragon, fire, ice, etc.) plagued by their king's brother as well as the prince finding love. That's all I remember of it. Who is considered the "black sheep" of your family? Why? Lol me. I'm just pretty different from like everyone with "problematic" traits. What's a color you hate? Puke green. What's an odor you hate? Old garbage. What's a sound you hate? Babies screaming omfg. What's something you'd never ever dare to ask another person? Hmmm. Probably if they've ever been raped or molested. What's something you've always wanted to ask someone but haven't dared? OKAY. So I coulda sworn one of my best high school friends was pregnant in middle school, before I talked to her at all. Then I believe I saw her with her baby once when we were in the gym for something. When we became friends, she never spoke of having a child and most certainly didn't look a bit like she'd had a baby. I never wanted to ask because you know the stigma of teen pregnancy. What is a song you cannot stand? Any country song where the singer has that godawful southern-as-hell twang. What's the worst/best thing you've done without your parents knowing? *shrugs* If you wear earrings, what does your favorite pair look like? Idk, I haven't looked at my earrings in a long time. Have you ever won any money from a scratch card? Like a dollar or so on the rare occasion my parents bought one. How about a slot machine? No. Do you like playing bingo? Sure. What's been the best thing you've found at a flea market? I love this little dragon figure I have. Oh, and my shipwreck lamp! Do you ever glance at people's butts? I'm a sucker for ass tbh okay. Like I'm not a dick that's gonna stare, but I'm guilty of glances, sure. What's something that catches your eye about other people? Their style. What's a random funny scene from a movie that has stuck with you? The first thing that came to my mind is from the Scooby movie where the girl introduces herself as Mary Jane and Shaggy goes, "That's, like, my favorite name" lmao. Oh, the things you miss as a kid. Are you one of those people who will not use a public washroom? I avoid it as much as possible. Have your parents ever disapproved of the person you're dating? No. What kind of things do you collect? Right now, just meerkat and Silent Hill stuff. YouTuber merch will happen when I can afford to buy it myself ha ha. Do you have a thing for body hair? No opinion. Not too into heavy back or chest hair, but still, don't really care. Is there anyone into you that you have no interest in? No clue if Girt still likes me, but if so, I don't reciprocate the feeling romantically. What's the longest you've slept for? Like 11 hours, maybe? Do your parents have a bad relationship with anyone? Not especially other than between each other. Were you raised by someone other than your parents? No. Do you prefer the color pink or blue? Pink. What's the last chore you did? Vacuumed. Have you ever had pet mice? Rats. What is your godmother's name? I don't think I have one. What's the last party you went to? A year ago at Summer's. Have you ever been to a jungle? No. What is your favorite jungle animal? Tigers! When did you first find yourself attracted to someone? I dunno. Elementary school. If you met a genie, what would you wish for? Financial stability, world peace, cure for Alzheimer's/dementia. Have you ever ran away from home? For like two hours or less. Is your father injured? No. He has a bad back, but. Would you be willing to die protecting your country? Like in the military or something? No. Have you ever dated someone from a different country? For less than a day. Are you part Native American? Not that I know of. What are your pets' names? Teddy, Bentley, Roman, Venus, Kaiju, and Mitsu. Do you like to go hunting? NONONONONONO. I'd have a hard time doing it even for survival. Have you ever worked two jobs? No. Who is the oldest sibling in your family? Katie. What are some of your happy thoughts? Being with Sara, imagining a positive future, remembering all I've endured and conquered, etc. etc. What's your favorite pattern for clothes? Plaid, I suppose? Do you ever wear fur? No. Who is the worst boss you've ever had? Why? N/A What are the names of the all the dogs you've ever owned? Trigger, Angel, Teddy, Dale, Delilah, Harley, Cali, and Bentley, I think. Where did you meet your current or last significant other? YouTube. When did you last ride a bike? Years ago. What did you last ask your parents permission for? Uhhh. I dunno. Oh, actually, I was thinking of spending a day with Dad, and I wanted to know if it would bother Mom. She said no, but I don't believe her. I didn't do it, though. Why were you in a waiting room the last time? Psychiatrist appointment yesterday. What's your lawyer's name? I don't have one. Do you own a lot of scarves? Do I even own any??? Would you ever get a face tattoo? No. What kind of car did you take your drivers test in? Haven't taken it. How much was the rent/mortgage at the cheapest place you’ve ever lived? I wouldn't know, I don't pay it. Who in life have you felt the strongest need to protect? Holy shit, Sara. What is the cruelest thing a person has ever said to you? Who even knows. What crime from history fascinates you most? No clue. Who do you think was the worst criminal in history? Maybe Saddam Hussein. Who has the weakest set of values in your family? Idk. What is the most disturbing sound you know of? Bones cracking. What's the shortest amount of time between orgasms you've ever experienced? N/A Which laws would you most like to change? Off the top of my head, we. Need. More. Gun. Fucking. Control. I'm not for a ban of firearms, but jfc, it's too easy to purchase a goddamn killing machine. What the oldest you'd like to live? 80, maybe? After that I can just imagine poor health that would really suck. Which sibling is or was favored most by your parents? I actually think it's me, tbh. Mom and I have an incredibly strong bond and have serious history, and Dad's and mine is very deep and definitely as a kid was the storybook father/daughter relationship, and now that we're reunited, I think we both cherish each other more. What's the biggest surprise you've ever had in bed? Waking up in the middle of the night to Jason groping my boobs. Who is the person you most wanted to have an affair with but didn't? I've never wanted that. Who have you most feared in your life? Dad. What would make you go insane the fastest? Losing Sara for the same reason as Jason. What was the quickest friendship you ever made? I'm not sure. What is your strongest reason for your opinion on abortion? I guess you have the right to be selfish if you're put at risk. You come first. What would you most like to hear from your father? He's proud of how far I've come. What one natural thing would you most like to see? Maybe a volcano erupt from a safe distance. What has been the single most important influence on your life? The breakup. What is the most worthy cause on earth? Seeing all life as equal and actually acting on that. Caring for one another. What would you most easily be driven to kill for? Sara's safety.

[ask-them-bois]

🍁 what inspired you to write/create (specify muse) All??

hooo boy. buckle up, this is gonna take a minute. I’m gonna do this in the order of their creation.

Vornik. My inspiration was a 14 year old, closeted trans kid’s desperate attempt to gain control in his life by creating a character he could project on and relate to. I put everything i was into him. Wolf freak, artist, outcast, giant softy that be a monster if pushed too far- I poured myself into him. But he eventually became his own person as I moved on to accept myself and find new interests. He was my first ever fantroll, and he’ll always hold a special place in my heart, no matter how many more I make.

Makeno: Look, I don’t care what the fandom says. I fucking LOVE the Amporas, for all their flaws. So I took my favorite bits, mixed it in with a little originality, and boom. Made my bastard. He’s seadweller, sexy, flirty, emotional, and tries to protect himself with bullshit walls that instantly crumble thanks to goldbloods. Just like Amporas. But he’s also a chef, a compassionate person, and a pianist. I am also a giant shark nerd, so of course I had to add that in.

Corden: I am a slut for tragic backstories, and overcoming tragedies through found families and inner strength. I think Goldbloods have it the worst, so, it only seemed natural my (at the time) most tragic troll was a gold. I had a troll based off a land predator, and a sea predator, so I needed a sky. I chose the bumblee bat. While not a predator, it pays homage to Sollux and his bees, while still being original. Speaking of Sollux, i took Psiioniic’s story and thought ‘how can i make this sadder?’. And so his story was born. The ‘found family’ part comes from Makeno and later, Incoding.

The Innocent: Okay, let’s be honest, I rebranded the Signless. Pacifist, only trying to do what is right, illegal blood color- yeah. The Signless was... let’s just say he was important to younger me. I’ve had shitty male adult figures in my life, and i was desperate for any semi-decent man in my life. But, I didn’t want to completely rip off Signless, and his only original inspiration was ‘Vornik, but older’. So, more wolves! More kindness, more empathy, more adventure, and more tragedy.

Ruthless Deepbite: Dualscar, but... not. Fleet soldier, but no armor. Give him traditional soldier garb. A captain, but not a famous one. A soldier, but not an Orphaner. I thought, ‘if Makeno’s life hadn’t turned out how it is, how would it be?’. Ruthless was born, but he seemed... empty. He needed something. The part in Homestuck where Dualscar saved Delarosa from Mindfang had me w e a k. He needed a jadeblood. Not good enough. I want him to hurt. So I ripped her away. I saw what this sort of thing did to people, so I made him an alcoholic, too.

The Incoding: Corden 2.0. Make! It! Sadder! Take more limbs! Not just an arm, but his leg, eye, and part of his chest!! Make him suffer worse! Make him kill himself!! But he needed to be his own person, too. Make him a semi-lady’s man. Give him a fascination for bikes and a cyberpunk aesthetic. Make him a disaster. Ta-da, you got yourself an Incoding.

Gehero: I’m a capricorn! I love gamzee! I needed a clown! So I scrounged around in my head. What are more of my interests? Spiders? Yes, good! Uhh what else? Oh fuck swords! Samurai, and Japanese culture! CATS! Nature! Fuck it, throw it all together. What did we get? Cat loving spider samurai gardener. Hm... Could I add more? Yes. Give him ADHD, like me. Make him trans, like me. Fuck it, let’s make him a hermit, and consequently, dumb as hell. Boom, got ourselves a grade A himbo. Oh, but he needs a conflict in his backstory. How about daddy issues? I’ve been crippled with those, why not have the character that’s most like me have them, too.

The Hounding: All these guys had been pretty soft at this point, let’s be real. Yes, they can be badasses if they had to, but they weren’t savage, bloodthirsty freaks. And we’ve all got a side to ourselves like that, so, let me make that. Every regret, every angry thought, every transgression against myself, every negative experience and thought, I poured into him. Make him giant, to contain the rage. Make him like the Grand Highblood, but more soldier-y.

Note: It was at this point I realized, “Hey, I’ve got quite a few characters here. I bet I could make something out of this.” And so the blog and this whole story was brought into being. And I just kept coming up with more characters and angles to this story, and so the others were made and put together, including the ones i haven’t introduced.

Musrio: I needed to answer a question: Why are the ancestors back? How? Easy, what brings people back? A necromancer. All my characters had so far been based on deadly animals, so what’s another, that’s not a canine, bat, shark, or arachnid? uhhh frogs. Yes. Poison dart frogs are the deadliest amphibian in the world. That’ll work. From there came the poison obsession. From there, mushrooms. His name, translated, literally means “Mushroom (Musrio;latin) Death (Almawt;arabic)”. Okay, great, got a character. But what got him here? What drove him to this? Hm... I have ‘lover ripped away’, what if i did the oposite? ‘had to kill lover’? Boom, done. Love it.

The Decaying: I am a Skyrim fanatic. The Thieves Guild questline is my absolute favorite. I needed a character like that. Let’s make him a thief! No, a KING of thieves! Robin hood! Hm... I’m also a buzzfeed fan. I listen to it while playing skyrim. Hell, let’s merge them. he’s a conspiracy kook! But where does he fit in the “three friends on the run” story? Make him part of one of their backstories. hm... Incoding, why not. They were brothers in arms. Decaying took him in when he escaped. Ooh, died protecting him! An old flame, now best friend! His mind rotted, but like Mituna and Latula, they stick together no matter what. It used to be them against the world, but now they’ve got Innocent and Ruthless on their side.

Rufuss: I’m a Texan, and proud of it! Fuck being an American, that is a brand I wear with shame. But Texan? I’ve never been prouder of that. So, stereotypical cowboy. Hm, I don’t have a blueblood, yet. I want more than that, though. Blue seadwellers seem a rare deal, let’s do that. Hm, but what else? Let’s make him trans. I’m a chubby, trans guy, so why not make him a chubby tans guy. What kind of stuff would a seadwelling cowboy do? What creatures would he deal with? Seahorses? Ehh, Eridan did that. Kelpies! A different, more deadly kind of sea horse. That can’t be all, though. Are there sea cows? Yeah, manatees. Sea pigs? A kind of slug. Oh! Both are endangered, let’s make him a conservationist! But he needs conflict! Hm... Oh, hohoho, i know, but I’ve already got the blog up, let’s do it online. We’ll get there eventually. ;)

Bluegill: I was still running on Cowboy Pride, after just making Rufuss. so, another cowboy! But, uhh, how to make him unique? Ooh! Country singer! And let’s make him elderly. Aw, make him grandpa-eque. All grandpas need a faithful companion. Let’s give him the most country dog I can think of; the basset hound. Okay, great, but where does he fit in the ancestor’s story? Hm... He’s a big man, let’s make him raise the other big man, Hounding. Perfect, that can be why he wasn’t killed until he was old. Ooh, betrayal is fun, let’s make his own kid kill him.

[cripplinganxietyflix]

I saw Valerian.

If you’ve ever spoken to me at length about movies, there’s a good chance my thoughts on “headache cinema” have come up. It’s an umbrella term I’ve come up with that encompasses the deluge of loud, obnoxious, brainless, neutered, hundred-million-dollar-budgeted trashfests that are destroying theater culture as we know it. I’m talking about the Disney’s Marvel franchises, the post-Matrix Wachowski migraines, the Transformers films- head-exploding visual fuckfests that leave the average adult feeling like they’ve crawled out some hellscape version of a McDonald’s play palace birthday party. This brand of film is easily my least enjoyed and most disliked. The vast majority of the time these movies are castrated down to a PG-13- or worse, a PG!, they’ve got bloated budgets, dumb plotlines, stupid dialog, and best of all: punching, loud noises, explosions, TOTAL SENSORY OVERLOAD. 

For many years I have hated superhero movies and glazed over at Hollywood’s air-horn retreads of movies like Clash of the Titans and Independence Day: Resurgence and the recent Ghost in the Shell mishap. I hate movies like this and I find them at least majorly to blame for the death of the hard R-rated action flick. There are exceptions to the formula, like Mad Max: Fury Road, the 2014 Godzilla, and Dredd, but generally speaking, they’re unwatchable. I will be the first to admit that I’m not a big fan of whimsy, but I will be happy to defend my position on this. Giant blockbuster action movies are generally dumb and boring if you’ve got more than two brain cells to rub together. I do try to balance my feelings about people who like brain-dead, ham-fisted, infantile PG-13 sci-fi action movies with my penchant for unrepentantly trashy, low-brow 70s and 80s exploitation horror films. I know for a fact that there’s a certain segment of cinema elitists who would see my interest in that subgenre as an undeniable sign of being a philistine troglodyte, which slightly tempers my extreme prejudicial judgment of those who love headache cinema. 

I can pick up the hanging thread to unravel this tapestry. It’ll lead you through all of the recent loud crashing DC fiascos and the rainbow of annoying apocalypse and disaster films and CG shitshows. Once you hit the Star Wars prequels, you’re getting close. But the film that started all of this hatred is Luc Besson’s The Fifth Element, easily in my top five most despised films of all time (that’s a list for another day!). 

It feels a little bizarre for me to say that I hate Luc Besson. Léon: The Professional is one of my favorite films of all time, and easily my favorite film of 1994. But aside from that and 1990′s La Femme Nikita, I find Besson wholly intolerable. His movies tend toward obnxious, incomprehensible, overwhelming, anxiety-inducing horse shit. And while many people are happy to agree with me, it seems no one outside of myself is willing to slaughter the sacred cow that is The Fifth Element. Some see a sci-fi fantasy classic, I proffer that it’s a grotesque panacea of ADHD, loud noises and cringey acting. To Besson’s credit, most of the time his films don’t take themselves seriously, and that’s fine. But The Fifth Element is the first film in my memory where I felt literally assaulted and invaded by the unfettered gaudy head-spinning madness of big, loud, overwhelming movies. My level of general calmness could be compared to a that of a frightened rabbit with combat shock, so I try to be cognizant that this dislike has less to do with objective quality and more to do with my personal preferences and tolerance levels. Let’s be real- I’m a person with severe, crippling anxiety. Headache cinema is not made for me. 

That being said, I saw the trailers for Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, and I immediately started getting Vietnam flashbacks of Chris Tucker in a wig and leopard print jumping out of my television and screaming into my face. My significant other has a much more relaxed attitude toward these things and a seemingly endless well of patience for Luc Besson, so I had a feeling I was going to end up seeing this film in theaters and I started mentally preparing for it. And I’m really glad that I did all that emotional gestation, because I found Valerian to be surprisingly tolerable, aside from being a chaotic discombobulation of ideas that all generally have the potential to be good but fail because Luc Besson must have the attention span of a squirrel. And squirrels plant trees because they literally can’t remember where they’ve left their nuts. I couldn’t dream of a better summation of why Luc Besson turns nearly everything he touches into abject shit.

Valerian is essentially a very straight-forward narrative about a couple of federal agents (?) in space (???) who uncover a conspiracy involving a group of displaced aliens. They spend the film unraveling a mystery surrounding an enigmatic void in the middle of a space ship (?) or man-made planet (???) that contains thousands of different species from throughout the universe that live in surprising harmony. The alien refugees and the void on the ship or planet are related, you will later find. 

That’s basically it. It’s a simple storyline with simple elements like “war is bad” and “the powerful oppress the powerless” and “love is universal and always wins.” If you dig down past all of the color and noise and distraction, that’s the basic bedrock. I think I was expecting this movie to be a convoluted mess, and to a great extent it absolutely was. But I wouldn’t say that the story was the weakest part of the film. 

What did some substantial damage was the acting and dialog. The two leads had no chemistry and the actor playing the title character (Dane DeHaan) had a stunning drought of charisma. I think that his opposite, Cara Delevingne, has the potential to be a fun leading lady, but she never had a chance in this movie. The love angle was hackneyed and totally unnecessary to the point that the film would have fared much better if Valerian and Laureline were friends instead of a ~~will they or won’t they???~~ couple. I thought it was insulting to my sensibilities, and that sucks since the romance thing was such an ingrained aspect of the movie. I couldn’t tell if they were even in a relationship with each other or if Valerian had puppy love and Laureline has simply spent their entire careers fighting off his advances only to reluctantly agree to marry him after the film’s climax. This film could have really used a competent screen writer. I think I even could have lived with some of the eye-rollingly dumb but baseline-acceptable dialog you hear in Disney’s© Marvel™ Avengers Part 2: Electric Boogaloo. The villain (played by Clive Owen) was such a stupid caricature of literally everything that is wrong with Bad Guys in major American cinema- instantly hate-able, predictable, no angle or point of sympathy, stupid rationale for his actions-type of shit. And what’s really frustrating is that the Owen’s villain had a completely rational and utilitarian motive for his actions. But that gets torpedoed by the giant flashing neon signs that say “HE’S THE BAD GUY” and “EVIL PIECE OF SHIT” hanging over his head in every scene he’s featured in. It absolutely felt like the characters were totally empty and needed to be reworked from the ground up. I even thought Rihanna’s character had more depth than either Valerian or Laureline. Valerian’s a by-the-books soldier with a heart of gold? Could have fooled me! Laureline’s a toughgirl with a penchant for violent overreaction but still maintains a balanced moral compass? Hard to see through the horse shit nonsense they wrote for her. Character development and the script were both a total, unmitigated disaster.  

Another thing that I think the film failed at was building tension. Everything felt a little too whimsical and inconsequential. In the beginning, a bus full of mercenaries (?) is attacked by a violent hexapedal alien and Valerian and Laureline watch all of them die savagely with nothing more than a smirking “glad we made it outta that scrape!” reaction. It never really feels like they’re in any danger or that there’s any emotional peak or valley for the characters, with maybe a single, small exception. You watch a lot of people get shot to death and even a head get blown clean off and another cut right in half, but it all seems so cartoonish and trivial that you can’t help but feel like nothing really matters and it’s all just a low-stakes video game. 

But I don’t want to give you the impression that this movie is a complete trainwreck (it tries, believe me). There were things that I liked and appreciated. The visuals and alien designs were inventive and there was never really a moment where you couldn’t get lost in the scene. It kind of felt like Rick and Morty without the nihilism and good writing. Everything was very colorful, the universe felt very inhabited. Around halfway through, Valerian and Laureline have an almost brilliant run in with a species of giant food-obsessed frogs (I actually went through the trouble of looking it up; they’re called Boulan-Bathors) and I found the whole scenario to be kind of charming and cute. I didn’t really mind Rihanna’s cameo. The refugee aliens, the Pearls, were cool and appealing in the same translucent way as the Engineers of Prometheus. While I definitely felt some Avatar vibes, the whole opalescent, iridescent aesthetic was visually pleasing and I really liked the semi-androgynous thing they had going on. 

I think the strongest part of this film is the first several minutes that lays out Earth’s journey into space. It was beautiful and touching and enough to make you feel really depressed about the state of our space exploration programs and the hopelessness and polarization of our world affairs. I would liked to have seen more of a thematic connection to the introduction because it felt extremely dissonant with the rest of the movie, which, by comparison, is hard to feel particularly emotional about. If you’re not planning on seeing Valerian, I would at least recommend watching the first few minutes. If the movie had come full circle to it, you can see how it could have been brilliant. 

Overall, Valerian is kind of a giant mess, and by all means I should have absolutely hated it, because it is textbook headache cinema. I think that there was a wide dearth of missed opportunities with the material, and with a more competent screenwriter, a better cast, and maybe someone else in the director’s seat, we’d be talking about a viable start to a franchise. But too often Valerian ties its own shoelaces together and eats shit and expects us to be engrossed and entertained. The relationship between Valerian and Laureline- both as a friendship, coworkership and romance- either needed to be reengineered from the ground up or scrapped entirely. I think Dane DeHaan was totally wrong for the part of Valerian and I could see this movie succeeding in more ways had someone with more charisma been the leading man. Valerian desperately needed some tension, and the total absence of crisis or consequence left an unbridgeable emotional void. It’s beautiful- but it’s a mess, and that seems to be Luc Besson’s calling card. I doubt we’ll ever see another Léon, but if Besson’s next film is as much of an improvement on Valerian as Valerian was on Lucy, then we might have the potential to see something really special. And maybe in five to eight years when everyone has forgotten about this spectacle, we’ll get a decent reboot for the Valerian material. 

★ ★ ½

[thegeminisage]

hella spoilery zeldablogging from earlier tonight

feel kind of bad cause i had to look up the gerudo maze desert thing but i was SOOO close on my own

oh my god there's a lady over here by this shrine failing at cooking and all the recipes she teaches me give me dubious food

there are PILES of rotting garbage that have flies around them and the thing in the pot is sending up this black cloud of smoke lmao

wow the blood moon came in the middle of me clearing out an enemy camp :/

good god there's a stable out here in all this deep snow? how?? would the horses not, like, die?

aww beedle's here but he's cold ):

WOW you can upgrade the boy gerudo clothes but not the GIRL ones? that is SEXIST

oh noooo shield surfing DOES damage your shield i hate this i love my current shield what if i can't find another!!!!!

lol the ridge tower si surrounded by water and electric enemies. Great

omg i found the royal lab ruins ):

ok, i gotta begin prioritizing here

while i'd LIKE to complete all 120 shrines before i beat the game just for the armor, i don't think that's going to be possible - i haven't even unlocked some of them yet bc i don't have the snowballs or the quest takes so long

but the most important thing to me is memories

so after i check out all the ridge shrines on this map i'm gonna get the hyrule field map as well and get those memories

and i'll just save a lot and if i fuck something up and trigger endgame stuff i'll reload

god idk how to do this trial on the thunderplanes so like...im gonna let it be

see? i could never do all 120 before tmrw night

PLEASE this memory i just got was so cute zelda was being a nerd over plants and caught a frog she wanted link to eat :')

i love this zelda like i'm super not crazy about her voice actress sounding much older than i think of her as, and the fantasy british accent, but she has so much more personality than many of the others

ah, and i see now why she loved the silent proncess so...can't be grown domestically, only thrives in the wild

much like herself if you watch some of the other memories haha she feels trapped by her own destiny that's easy to see

i think it's super clever how even with a map you still have to look around for shrines bc they are hidden semi-underground

and i wish i had more time to stop and enjoy the little things like that, but i CAN come back and explore later, i can't unlearn a plot point

this spoiler fear might be a little baseless...tbh i also want to finish the main story tho bc like

i want it to be something i play in my free time, not something i obsess over 24/7 and HAVE to play and think about all the time

it's been a beautiful fun and absolutely life-changing experience but also it's been two weeks and i gotta get back to my actual life, i can't be Like This indefinitely

i'm kinda stunned that it took me this ling tbh? like, even skyyward sword was like a week and a half the first time iirc and i did that at like, a pace where i could stop and explore, i remember thinking how huge skyward sword was

omg im so glad i decided to ride epona down to where i need to go next rather than fast travel + walk bc 1. faster maybe? and 2. THE MAIN THEME PLAYS WHEN YOU'RE ON EPONA OVER THE NORMAL HORSE THEME i could weep

KASS IS BY THIS BRIDGE HI BUDDY I LOVE YOU

i solved the puzzle! this time im talking to him BEFORE i go in

he told me it was stupendous ;_; thanks pal

aw dude another memeory and it played the trailer music but

is zelda really only SIXTEEN about to turn seventeen? how old is link?? i guess under 21/18 if they wouldn't let him drink...

jesus, they're just babies ;_;

also, she quoted link's horse advice so like

this + the dialogue options gives the feeling that he does actually speak, you know? so as much as i love mute link i also like these glimpses into his personality as well, bc he's always been such a blank slate

he's empathetic, playful, sometimes downright goofy, and very tenacious - confident, but not in a cocky way, and obviously always a bit shaken when he gets a memory back

it's nice getting to know him a bit, even if you have to patch most of it together - kinda like narrachara lol

;w; it's so nice to have epona gallop over when i call her again

omg i think i found kass's house! i see his journal :3

haha i got this song "when the blood moon rises stand naked on that platform" ok nintendo

i wonder if you get all the puzzles do you get to tell him who you are ):

im tempted to unlock this one now lol

like, it takes a long time to get here and it's almost the blood moon

SIGH this is gonna take awhile but it'll save me time later

oh lmao it was JUST the blood moon so i'd actually have to wait a SUPER long time nvm tbh

well. welp. welly well well

i guess.......its time for hyrule field tower

Im Scared

wow. holy shit. i can see the great plateau from here...and it looks so small. i can see the temple of time, i can see the tower from which i first saw hyrule castle. i can even see the little path i nearly followed, when catching sight of my first moblin and becoming curious, before i got myself back on track. damn. Damn. i have come FULL CIRCLE, holy shit

and like, it's just the way i played it. hyrule castle for last. but you know? i love that shit. journeys ending the way they began. gets me in the feels every time

i'll be honest, THIS i could really stop and explore. forget those awful snowy mountains. this is where the #history is

oh god. i see a guardian down near that tower. please god don't let it be a mobile one

FUCK

i saw two still ones and relaxed and a mobile one snuck up RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND ME

[wheezing]

i don't wanna stop and grind but i worry i might HAVE to get some guardian armor before i can do this, even just one piece...!

i have a diamond circlet so all i'd need from the prof is the chest and/or legs........oh god. jesus fuck

motherFUCKER the range on those still ones, i wish i had been able to take them out...!

oh jesus i made it

this is it. final tower. thank fuck

there'll be more guardians, way more. i gotta at least check and see if i can afford some arrows without setting myself back further for the armor

i think i had all the mats i needed actually i just needed cash...maybe i can cook to earn some since i sold my monster parts

k, i only have enough gears for the chest OR legs, and i don't have enough rupees for either... :/

i COULD buy some arrows and still have enough mats for the armor but then i'd be setting myself back HUGELY re: rupees

ok, i FINALLY got the chest, jesus, now i can go back to hyrule field

altho it doesnt have any def and without even going to the fountain i know i cant upgrade it so rly is it worth it at all, but w/e

also, i read online that if you can learn the timing of parrying their lasers they go down REALLY easily but i suck so much at combat

i guess i'll just wear my anti-guardian stuff, i have daruk and mipha's abilities and fairies AND FAST TRAVEL if anything goes wrong

YES i did it holy FUCK

oh my god! three-shotted!

oh

i just climbed a small hill and got my first look at the rolling green plains...i missed you

no, no, i gotta go get epona to make this perfect, there's a stable i can warp us both to

omg it's the very first people i ever encountered outside the great plateau again

NOOO i hit epona when i was aiming for a monster baby i'm sorry!!!

i gave her an apple and some pats to say sorry ;w;

"legend says that an ancient voice resonates inside that sword...can you hear it yet, hero?"

frankly i'm glad they finally got their timeline shit together bc even tho the games are SO far apart im LOVING these continuity nods

yeesh, only two memories left but they're both RIGHT at the castle...im scared LOL

): i wouldn't feel right taking epona any further

reasons i never have money: cannot physically stop myself from buying arrows

oh, hyrule field is just beautiful ;___;

ohh god im scared

its fine its fine they wouldnt put a memory that close to the castle and then make you go back to impa if hat wasnt POSSIBLE its gonna be ok

awww no zelda sees link as a living reminder of her own failures?? whyyy

ha i love fighting guardians for the first time in ages im like COME TO ME LET US BATTLE

im uh. still working on the timing, but

oh JESUS

my mouth fell open in horror i climbed over a wall to get to the outsideish of the castle (castle town ruins, so says my map) and

the music was already creepy but jesus CHRIST

there's no color except for that blight evil goop stuff...no life...it's awful

poor hyrule, oh god

it's a lot like finding hyrule castle town devastated in oot when you first wake up, except of course this time we've nothing to compare it to visually, only emotionally...

i see a fuckton of guardians too so its a good thing i learned not to be scared of them

ok, god, i can do it, just one memory, i know RIGHT where it is

apparently the hylian shield is in here too and i am sooo sorely tempted

i mean if i have to get that fucking close anyway...

lord i googled it and apparently this memory is super hard to get you gotta Activate some shit but they did it this way they made it so you have to go back out i know i'll be able to come back out i WILL

ah, apparently you need to fight a stalnox for the hylian shield.ok. ok. good, great, Nice, Perfect

haha im soooo scared ;_;

ok, apparently the two paths are COMPLETELY different, so One Thing At A Time

we'll start with the memory, it's more important

tbh, i can't even bring myself to go in. i gotta go around anyway to get to the starting point of this path so i will

lmao i am almost PHYSICALLY ILL with dread this is SO stressful

JESUS

the music went all scary and the map is in 3D like a beast!! which i knew but it's so Much

and i got a cutscene of the calamity screaming with the Classic ganondorf theme i'm Dying how the fuck does anyone just get this memory and LEAVE holy shit

oh my god the main theme comes in!!! jesus

even ballad of the windfish a little?!?!

oh FUCK and ofc with the lightning

haha aww there's a "leave area" button on the map i can bail whenever i guess tat's reassuring

not yet!! i'm gonna have Courage

ohhh i dipped into a doorway just to wait for revali's thing to recharge and the music changed!! so i got scared and went back outside lol

oh god the higher you go the oranger the sky turns it looks like the blood moon jesus fuck

I MADE IT INSIDE

oh god, zelda's STUDY, the rooms all have names bc ofc they do

holder of the triforce of wisdom of COURSE she had a study she's such a nerd im crying i bet she loved it here and it's totally decimated

a silent princess sprouted in her study too ;_;

HER LULLABY IS PLAYING IN HERE IM GONNA CRY

oh good there's the memory!!

ohhh this picture of how it used to be is hurting my heart it was BEAUTIFUL

holy FUCK dude

ok old man is struck from my heart forever he was such a DICK to zelda no wonder he called himself a fool

link knelt right away but god damn i would have interjected on her behalf

you can't expect a person to pray 24/7!!!!

and deny her her passions, which are obviously machines and learning!

omg she has a journal in here and i almost missed it jesus

TODAY SHE MET WITH IMPA im cryin

omg this is her finding the sheikah slate!!!

jesus, and she found the shrine of ressurection too and hoped she'd never have to use it, and Yet...

oh GOD i hit leave area and it plucked me down in the middle of castle town nope nope nope fast travel outta there

ok to impa and then last memory i can do it and then do stream

and for once not play again afterwards bc to be quite frank i could never stress myself out this bad right before bed again, FUCK

hylian shield and all the rest of it tomorrow

h o ly fuck

he DIED protecting her, or he was going to, but she stood in front of him for once and finally unlocked the power, that's how she unlocked it, for HIM

i'm WEEPING and the sword made the fi noise from SS

even the sheikah warriors ran like sheik in smash bros

im gonna cry that was so much!!! there's so much continuity

fi is in TWO GAMES like...that was such direct referencing!!!!

SHE HAS BEEN FIGHTING ALONE FOR 100 YEARS jesus CHRIST she is SEVENTEEN

ok, im gonna watch all the memories in order and then quit for the night

i just realized the ceremony scene is where she mentions embers of twilight and adrift in time - putting us on the mm/tp timeline

aaaah im sad

god and i LOVE her princess dress i wanna see it in her classic pink why is everyone in this game blue??

so like, despite me not being crazy about zelda's voice ACTRESSS and the VOICE she's using, she actually does the best ACTING out of the entire cast

high key loving this zelda who is smart but has trouble with feelings, also

holy SHIT

ok so one of the first memories i got was of zelda coming down mt lanayru

amd it was badass and i enjoyed it

but there's SO much in there once you know more context

mipha was highkey about to spill to zelda that she was in love with link

revali's distain for link

urbosa seems less stern and more caring now that i know her better

now i know what zelda was trying so hard to do

"we have to keep trying until we find the thing that unlocks your sealing power [long shot of link]"

and "i'm not a child anymore" ofc it's bc she just turned 17! like link in oot!

oh man oh man

i love so much link's expressions in these serious moments especially that very last look into zelda's eyes before he "died"

it feels a bit like, with the other stuff i was talking about, i'm getting just a hint of character

and it's kinda close to My Headcanon but even if it wasn't i just like getting to know him

warped back to the temple of time & i'm leaving it there for the night

tomorrow: The End

(and my shield)

[theforgottenfirelight-blog]

I live in a pretty magical place. Florida gets a bum rap for being the redheaded stepchild of the South. We are like flypaper to crazy people (my friends from Up North regularly refer me to this gem: Florida Man), old people (Heaven’s Waiting Room), and people who are itching to get drunk and sunburned (I can’t believe this place is still around).

My little corner of Florida, however, is actually special. Though Señor Frogs is a bit of a hike, the freshwater marsh that occupies our backyard, or ‘savannas,’ stretch more than 10 miles from Ft. Pierce to Jensen Beach. This preserve is the largest and most intact remnant of Florida’s east coast savannas. From the Florida State Parks site (FSP): “During the Second Seminole War (1835-1842), Lt. Colonel Benjamin Pierce first used the term ‘savannah’ to describe a series of ponds and marshes found here. In 1879, Captain Thomas Richards planted the first pineapples, grown from cuttings he transported from Key West. The plants thrived in the sandy, well-drained soils and dozens of plantations appeared along the Atlantic Ridge. From 1895 to 1920, Jensen Beach was known as the ‘Pineapple Capital of the World.’ The park encompasses more than 6,000 acres and joined the Florida Park Service in 1977.” Pretty awesome, no? There are those sneaky pineapples cropping up once again!

We have all sorts of amazing flora and fauna (literally) in our backyard. As a native Floridian, the sight of palm trees, pine trees and your “greatest hits” plantings of the planned communities are familiar. I grew up on a farm, my mom loves trees, but until I had my own little patch of dirt, gardening had never really called to me. My son was very little when I started to see the need to fence in our yard (part of the Savannas charm is that you are on nature’s doorstep, but that also means alligators are, at times, your neighbors. Nicer than some other neighbors, I might add!), but I didn’t want to obscure our beautiful view with a white picket situation. Our house is architecturally inspired by Frank Lloyd Wright, so in that vein, I wanted something that would blend in with our surroundings, as well as keep out the majority of the critters.

(Thunbergia grandiflora is an evergreen vine in the family Acanthaceae.[2] Common names include Bengal clockvine, Bengal trumpet, blue skyflower, blue thunbergia, blue trumpetvine, clockvine, skyflower and skyvine.)

On the farm growing up, we would use diamond wire to fence in the colts to keep them from slipping through the three board horse fence that surrounded our property. This fencing is strung together by round posts at three foot intervals and is, in my mind, the perfect setup for a natural trellis. As the fence began to take shape, the overall picture of my landscaping started to grow in my mind. Summers of trips to the Abacos must have made an impression because all I could think about was giant trellises of bougainvillea. I would go to Home Depot, with my little people in tow, and buy 5 gallon pots of bougainvillea when the price was right. It did not take me long to become obsessed. I delved further into the world of native Floridian plants: Native Plant Society. There is a lot to learn! I have a rather large area to fill, so I started off my landscaping plan with the idea of making a giant butterfly garden.

Butterflies love to land on our bougainvillea trellis

If you have small children or are a nature lover (or like me, fall under both umbrellas), incorporating larval and host plants to attract butterflies (and other pollinators) to your yard is a labor of love that will pay big dividends for years to come. In addition to having “floating flowers”, as my daughter so poetically describes butterflies, dancing around your yard, you will also be doing your part to prevent monoculture and improve the overall tableau of flora that will help our pollinators thrive. Here is a great resource for starting your garden of native plants: Gardeners Play A Role In Creating Wildlife Corridors.

(Lantana comes in many colors and pollinators LOVE IT!)

The biggest boon to my butterfly project has definitely been interspersing milkweed plants throughout my existing landscaping. Now! Milkweed is a fascinating plant with over 140 known species (Milkweed: The Most Interesting Plant IN THE WORLD). I’ve primarily planted yellow and red varietals, which continue to surprise me! They get to be really leggy, can get to be at least 3′-4′ tall, and they are incredibly prolific- which means once you plant a few and they go to seed- WATCH OUT- you will have milkweed popping up all over your yard (if you like a more manicured look, they are easy to transplant). I found a fun varietal called “Globe” that gets really tall and sprouts these giant alien egg-sac looking seed pods that burst open when they ready. SO COOL.

Butterflies and pollinators alike love coneflowers and vibrantly colored flowers; so this is a lovely dual purpose aspect of planting with pollinators in mind. Adding color to an otherwise rather green landscape is so much fun, especially when you know what you are planting will only augment the overall health of your ecosystem.

(You keenly-eyed people might notice the milkweed planted next to the red pentas and next to the coneflowers! I’ve done this all over our yard- the bushy, red flowers attract the butterflies and pollinators, and the milkweed is where they lay their eggs and food for the baby caterpillars.)

Vibrantly colored, delicious smelling popcorn cassia (Senna didymobotrya) are super tropical and interesting set piece to add visual interest in your yard. I’ve got mine planted next to some huge dark purple crinum lillies and also in another area, close to some coral honeysuckle that has been grafted from a vine to a small ornamental tree.

There are truly so many larval and host plants to attract butterflies and pollinators; it can be somewhat overwhelming to a neophyte gardener. This landscaping project has taken me years and continues to take shape as my plants begin to mature. I’ve added a lot of fun climbing vines to my trellis/fence because the bougainvillea has established itself (it likes dry roots, but we can have a lot of water, depending on the time of year) and the climbers will attach to anything! Below are photos of my four different varietals of passion vines (the red- passiflora miniata, the purple- passiflora incarnata, the third is the Lady Margaret- Passifloraceae, and the corky stem- Passiflora suberosa) and a visual of just how prolific they are! They use the little curly vines to grab on to things and pull themselves outward:

  My advice is try not to get too overwhelmed; there are so many plants to choose from and once you start seeing the butterflies, it’s pretty satisfying. Get started with a couple of milkweed plants and go from there. One of our local nurseries has classes that help gardeners and non-gardeners alike get started with their pollinator gardens (Pinder’s Nursery). This handy table is from their website:

FLORIDA NECTAR PLANTS “Butterfly Attractors”

Plant 3/4 to 2/3 of your garden with nectar plants

Common Name Botanical Name

Key

Annuals/Perrenials

Yellow butter cup Turnera umifolia Cigar plant Cuphea ignea (Sp) (HB) Dianthus Dianthus spp. (Sp) Gaillardia Gaillardia spp (N) (Y) Guara Guara lindheimeri (Y) Bulbine Bulbine fructens (Y) Heliotrope Heliotropium amplexicaule (Sp) Hummingbird Mexican mint Agastache rupestris (HB) Lavendar Lavendola (Sp) Lemon shrub marigold Tagetes lemmonii (Sp) Mexican or False heather Cuphea hyssopifolia (Y) Mexican or Scarlett milkweed Asclepias curassavica (Y) Pentas Pentas lanceolata (shade) (Y) Porterweed Stachytarpheta spp (Sp,F) (HB) Bush Daisy Euryops pectinatus (Y) Tickseed Coreopsis leavenworthii (N) (Sp,Su) Bog sage Salvia uliginosa (Sp-F) Hot Lips sage Salvia Microphylla (Y) Hummingbird sage Salvia coccinea, Salvia spathacea (Y) (HB) Indigo spires Salvia farinanea (Y) Mexican sage Salvia leucartha (Sp,F) Red shrimp Justicia brandegeana (Y) Lantana Lantana camara (sterile form) (Sp,F) Purple Weeping Lantana Lantana montevidensis (Y)

Vines

Honeysuckle lonceri app (Sp, Su) Florida flame Pyrostegia venusta (Sp)

Shrubs and Trees

Butterfly bush Buddleia davidii (Sp, Su) Dwarf powder puff Calliandra emarginata Firespike Odontonema strictum (Shade) (N) (HB) (F,W) Firebush Hamelia patens (partial shade) (N) (HB) Golden dewdrop Duranta repens (Sp-F) Plumbago Plumbago auriculata (sun to partial shade) (Y) Wild coffee Psychotria nervosa (prefers shade) (N) (Sp)

Key: N=Native, HB=Hummingbird, Sp=Spring blooming, Su=Summer blooming,          F=Fall blooming, W=Winter blooming Y=Year round blooming

  Just get started. The butterflies will thank you!

Butterfly Post I live in a pretty magical place. Florida gets a bum rap for being the redheaded stepchild of the South.