#but her whole family went different ways and it’s heartbreaking

[fictionaltrvlr]

still sitting in a corner i haunt

cross-legged in the dim light

they say, “what a sad sight”

[andvys]

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 26

Warnings: 18+, angst, alcohol consumption, weed, mentions of vomiting, mentions of sex, mentions of cunnilingus, clueless reader, jealousy

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader | Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: During a spontaneous birthday 'party', you find some things out, things that maybe should've been left unsaid.

Word count: 6k+

A/N: So, this chapter took a whole turn while I was writing it. It was supposed to head into a whole different direction but my angsty heart, had to say no to the fluffy route. @hellfire--cult thank you for helping me, you're amazingggg

series masterlist

-

Steve lied. 

He lied again. 

It’s something he hasn’t done in a while. 

He promised himself to never do it again, knowing how much damage it had caused in the past, in both relationships that he had. 

This lie is harmless, though. At least, he thinks that it is. 

He spent the day with Robin and Dustin, they had surprised him with a homemade birthday cake that Robin had made with Chrissy’s help, it would’ve been a cute one, had Dustin not ruined it with his Star Wars decorations. Lucas and Max showed up as well, ‘surprising’ him by throwing a bunch of balloons and confetti at him. 

They made him blow out the candles, before forcing him to open all the presents. Dustin’s present was not surprising, at all. A Star Wars movie collection. Lucas had given him a keychain, with a little basketball pendant. Max acted all careless as always, shrugging it off when he gave her a kind smile and a ‘thank you’, yet, she gave him one of the best presents, a collection of polaroids of him with the teens, with Robin and even you, along with new records, claiming that he needs to expand his music taste. He has yet to unwrap Robin’s presents. 

They ate cake, went to the movies and the diner. And afterwards, Steve drove everyone home. Robin didn’t believe him when he said that he made plans with his parents for the evening, that they’d come home to spend his birthday with him. She was suspicious, not buying the lies he was feeding her with, Steve could tell but she had no choice but to say goodbye when he dropped her off at home, he really didn’t want her to stay longer than she had to, he wanted to be alone, by himself. So, when she begrudgingly got out of the car and gave him a sad smile, he gave her a cheerful one back, pretending to be happy when he was feeling anything but it. 

He didn’t go home. He knew that his parents wouldn’t come and he couldn’t stand the thought of staying in that big house, all by himself, tonight. He drove past your street, as well, fighting the urge to go and see you. 

There is only one place he knew he would find peace at. The Hideout. 

Now, he is sitting here, in the corner of the bar, with a drink that he had bought with his fake ID, soon he won’t have to use it anymore. With his head hung low, he lets his mind go to places that he had avoided all day. Dark thoughts that hold nothing but heartbreak and loneliness. He doesn’t feel miserable, just really fucking sad. He has people who care about him, friends who love him, people he now considers family. And yet, he still feels lonelier than ever. 

He looks around the bar, it’s not very crowded, it never is. Maybe on weekends, but never during the week. Rock music plays in the back, he hears the chatter of a group of young men by the bar, they’re laughing, throwing back drinks – they are clearly having a great time. For a while, Steve watches them. How they laugh with each other, how they all look so carefree and happy. He doesn’t even know what it feels like to feel that way anymore, to have fun and be happy without ruining everything with his actions in the matter of just a few minutes. 

He sighs, leaning back in the chair, he looks down at his drink, that lately he started to find more and more comfort in. 

The door opens but he doesn’t bother to look up, not caring about whoever it is that walked through the door. He is so focused on the miserable feeling inside his chest, the tearing, the longing, the yearning, the hurt. 

Before his mind can react, his heart is already fluttering when he hears your voice. He raises his head, eyes finding you immediately. You’re here. You’re here with Eddie. And you look more beautiful than ever. You’re wearing a black dress and the dark denim jacket that he was cursing at, last year when he had yet to find out who it belonged to. Your hair is falling softly in waves, your lips are glowing a soft pink beneath the dim light, you’re giggling, slapping Eddie’s arm playfully when he whispers something in your ear.

His eyes soften, despite you being here with him, giggling at him, he can’t help but smile when he finally sees you again. It’s only been a few weeks since he had properly seen you, yet, it seems like forever.

When your eyes find him and your giggles die down, your smile falls and your eyes widen. He freezes. Not knowing how to react or what to do. Not only have you caught him staring, you have also caught him lying. Again. You were the first person he lied to about his birthday plans. He looks away with a blush on his cheeks, his hand grip the glass tighter, he inwardly curses himself out for coming here, tonight. 

“It’s his birthday, right?” Eddie mumbles behind you. 

“Yeah,” you whisper in confusion. “He told me that he would spend his birthday with his parents..” 

Eddie looks away from you and back at Steve. He sits there, looking crestfallen. His shoulders are slumped, his face etched with sadness, he can see it, even from a distance. The sight of him sitting there so lonely and sad is pitiful. Eddie knows what he feels like, at this moment. His dad never cared about him, not even on his birthdays, he never even bothered to give him a call from wherever he was currently living or staying at. 

But, Eddie has Wayne, he always had Wayne. Steve doesn’t. He doesn’t have anyone who looks after him. He is all by himself. 

“I guess they didn’t come,” you mumble with sadness and a hint of disappointment in your voice. “They never do.”

“Robin told me that he was acting weird when he dropped her off earlier.” 

Despite his dislike for him, he can’t help but feel bad for Steve. The people he wants the most, aren’t in his life. 

His parents are gone. 

You are gone. 

Steve had changed. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, Eddie can see that he has changed for the better. That he isn’t the guy who hurt you, who left you standing on your birthday, who broke your heart and left you for someone else. He isn’t that guy anymore. Had he still been that guy, Eddie wouldn’t even bother to look at him twice and feel any ounce of pity for him but now, things are different. He is different. In a way, it scares Eddie, because he knows that he now has a chance for a second try, with you. 

“Do you think he’s here by himself?”

You shrug, looking away from Steve, you turn towards Eddie, “yeah.” 

You feel the little item in your pocket, the one that suddenly feels too heavy, the one you itch to reach for and give it to the one you got it for.

Eddie looks down at you, at the sadness in your eyes. For once, it doesn’t make him feel frustrated or annoyed to see you be so sad for someone who hurt you. 

“No one should be alone on their birthday,” Eddie mumbles.  

“Yeah,” you sigh, looking down at your hands. “But, I-I guess it’s what he wanted, he could’ve spent time with Robin.”

“He was with her before, wasn’t he?” 

“Yeah.”

Eddie sighs. There is hesitation in your voice and in your eyes.

“Do you want to spend time with him?” He asks, already feeling the dread tugging in his chest, knowing that the night won’t go the way he wanted it to.

For a moment, you stare into Eddie’s brown eyes, there’s a kindness in them, kindness for him. That is something so rare. 

“Uh, I’m sure he wants to be alone.”

Eddie knows you. Eddie knows what you want, right now. But, you are hesitating out of fear of upsetting him. 

“Sweetheart,” he whispers, placing his finger under your chin, tilting your head up. “I won’t get angry. If you want to spend time with him tonight, we can cancel our plans and you can go be with him.” He nudges his chin into Steve’s directions. “I don’t like him but, shit, even I can’t stand the fucking kicked puppy look that he’s sporting, right now.” 

You eye his face. Even through the sadness for Steve, the smile for you, you can see the slight fear in his eyes. The fear that any moment with you, will be his last one before you find your way back to Steve, before you say goodbye to a friendship that might’ve saved your life. But even through the fear, he still wants the best for you, he still wants what you want. 

“I think he wants to be alone,” you repeat.

Eddie looks over your shoulder to see him staring at you. 

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

You sigh, shaking your head. 

“What if we all hang out together?” 

“Sweetheart, I don’t think that Steve would be happy to spend time with me–”

“Please, Eddie,” you whisper, mustering up the best puppy eyes and a pout that he can never say no to. “We can just have fun together, you’ve never met drunk Steve before, he can be funny – unless he decides to break your heart but, that won’t happen to you, don’t worry,” you giggle. 

He raises his brows at you, surprised that you are making a joke about that. 

“You go buy us drinks and I’ll go convince him to spend time with us. We can just all get drunk together, maybe you’ll finally get along,” you shrug, giving him a sheepish smile, you place your hands on his chest, pushing him towards the bar, not taking no for an answer. 

“I don’t think it’ll take much convincing,” he snorts. As though you would ever have to convince Steve to spend time with you. Eddie is certain that all it takes is a glance from you and that man is already by your side, you got Steve wrapped around your finger, just like him, and you don’t even know it. 

You turn on your heel, not waiting for a response from Eddie. You make your way over to Steve, whose head is still hung low. Your heart thumps a little faster in your chest when you inch closer and closer to him. You push your hand into your pocket, reaching for the tiny bag that you had taken with you earlier when you considered dropping by his house. 

You stop in front of him, taking a shaky breath as you place the small bag on the table, sliding it towards him. 

“Happy birthday, Steve,” you whisper.

His wide eyes stare at the bag, the tiny jewelry pouch that clearly holds a present inside for him. His eyes soften, staring at your ringed fingers that linger next to his hand for a moment. 

He looks up, slowly. Hazel eyes flashing with softness when they meet yours. You stare at him with a shy smile, sadness lingering in your pretty eyes. His heart flutters so strongly, he longs to touch you. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, giving you a smile. “W-What’s that?” He asks, pointing to his present without tearing his eyes from you. 

“I got you a little present. I-It’s nothing special just, I just wanted to get you something. You don’t have to open it now, just uh–”

“Y/n,” he smiles, interrupting your rambling, “you didn’t even have to get me anything but I appreciate it, I will love it.” 

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“Yeah but it’s from you, so, I will love it, dolly.” 

A smile appears on your face, you nod slowly, whispering a small ‘okay’. You know that Steve always loved to keep certain presents for last, so you’re not surprised to see him tucking it into the pocket of his jeans. 

“Your parents didn’t come?” 

He looks down, holding the glass tighter, he shakes his head, unable to bear the pitiful look on your face. 

“Oh.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers before you can say ‘I'm sorry, steve.’ He doesn’t want you to pity him. 

“No, it’s not. You shouldn’t be alone.” 

“I-I wasn’t alone, I was with Robin all day and the kids–”

“But, now you are.”

He raises his head to look at you. And, before he can even say anything, his words get caught in his throat when he looks at you. Your eyes are glistening, not with tears and sadness, but with something else, something he cannot read. You look at him differently than you did weeks ago, not in a way that scares him or breaks him but, in a way, that only leaves him with one too many questions. He struggles to read you, to understand you. It’s like he can no longer see through you the way he could before. Nonetheless, he feels so calm and safe in your presence and he wants this moment to last forever. 

“Right now, I’m not, though. You’re here.”

You smile at his words. 

“Yeah, I’m here.” 

When Eddie appears by your side, Steve tries not to let his smile fall. 

Right. He is here too. 

“Happy Birthday, man.”

To Steve’s surprise, he sees Eddie not with two but three shots in his hands, he places them all on the table. Grinning at him in a way he can’t tell whether it’s a kind one or a sarcastic one. 

“Thanks,” Steve nods at him. 

Eddie pulls the chair back for you, you smile at him, taking the seat across from Steve. Eddie sits down beside you, leaving Steve with a questioning look on his face as he looks between the two of you. 

“W-What?”

“You think we’re gonna let you spend the night alone, Harrington?” 

Steve looks at Eddie in confusion, hearing these words not from yours but from his mouth leaves him more puzzled than ever. Eddie spending time with him willingly? He purses his lips, squinting his eyes as he turns to look at you. You smile at him, shrugging. You slide one of the shots towards him. 

“I mean, I thought that we could spend this night together,” you say, smiling with hope in your eyes. “Or we can leave if that’s what you–”

“No, I-I want to.”

He looks between you two, giving Eddie an awkward smile. 

“Cool! Let’s drink, then.” 

“Yeah, let’s drink,” he chuckles as he ditches his glass of whiskey for the shot of whatever Eddie had ordered. 

“When’s the last time you got drunk?” You ask them both. 

“Oh man,” Eddie mumbles, leaning back in his seat, he puts his arm on the back of your chair. “I don’t even remember, it’s been a while. What about you, sweetheart?” 

“Uh, well, I had a cocktail night with the girls, a few weeks ago,” you say, giggling. “Oh, also at a party.”

You and Eddie look at each other, he instantly knows what party you are talking about when he sees the amused look on your face. He chuckles, though he instantly gets taken back that night. When you showed up with that stolen bat plushie, when you told him how much you missed him, when you told him that you wished you met him first. 

Steve looks between you two, a sinking feeling in his stomach takes place. There are things you share with Eddie, things that he will never know about because he isn’t in his place anymore. 

“I knew it! I knew you were lying to me, Dingus!” 

Startled by the voice, all three of you snap your heads towards the angry girl walking towards the three of you with a frown on her face, pointing her finger at Steve. 

Steve’s eyes widen, “I can explain.” 

Something about the anger on Robin’s face and the panic in Steve’s features makes you giggle.

Robin slaps the back of his head, lightly. 

“Ouch! Robin!”

“You are such a–”

“Dingus, yeah yeah, I know.” 

Eddie laughs at that, smirking at Steve who throws him a glare.

“You think that’s funny, Munson?” 

Eddie leans back with a satisfied grin, “actually yeah.”

Robin plops down in the seat next to Steve, still staring at him with a frown on her face. 

“Why did you lie to me? Why are you here?” 

Steve sighs, scratching the back of his neck as he gives her a sheepish smile. 

“And what are you two doing here?” She asks, turning to look at you and Eddie. 

“Came here for a couple of drinks and then we found this sad puppy,” Eddie mumbles, pointing at Steve. 

Steve rolls his eyes, mumbling a few incoherent words under his breath. 

“We just asked him to spend the night with us.” 

Robin gives you a surprised look before her eyes move back to Eddie, who, doesn’t look as enthusiastic about this whole thing as you do. 

“How did you even know I was here?” 

Robin leans her elbow on the table, tilting her head at Steve, “well, I was craving some burgers and my favorite driver was apparently at a birthday dinner so I couldn’t ask him to drive me, so I walked, imagine my surprise when I saw a certain BMW standing in front of The Hideout.”

“Robin–”

“No! Don’t Robin me! Why’d you lie?” 

Steve didn’t want her to feel like it’something she had to do, hang out with him, spend his birthday with him because there’s no one else for him other than her. He doesn’t want her to do anything out of pity for him. 

He doesn’t feel comfortable to talk about it in front of Eddie or even you, knowing that you pity him the most. You always did and he hated it. A part of him always thought that that’s why you were with him, because you pitied him, the sad boy who was always abandoned by his own parents, because you knew he had no one else that cared about him, that loved him. So you stayed, you stayed even when you shouldn’t have.

Even now, you look at him with those big sad eyes with that look of pity in them. 

“Robin,” you warn when you notice how uncomfortable he looks, how he clenches his jaw and bites his lip.

Eddie senses the tension, the looks you are giving Robin, the way she is ignoring you because she desperately wants an explanation from Steve. 

“Lay off, Robin. Maybe he just wanted to get a few drinks and not deal with your annoying ass,” he says to her with a grin. 

She flips him off, rolling her eyes at him. 

“Just relax, here, take my shot and drink it, you need it, Robin,” you say, sliding the shot glass towards her. 

She turns towards the two of you, shaking her head with squinted eyes, “you’re both pretty rude.” 

“So are you, Robby.”

“Ew,” she scrunches her face up at Eddie, “don’t fucking call me Robby.”

“I’m gonna keep calling you that, if you don’t stop being so rude to sad birthday boy over there.” 

Steve sighs, running his hand down his face. 

“Can you just call me Steve, dude?” 

You giggle at the annoyed look on his face. 

Eddie grins, “okay, Steve.” 

“Not like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like you’re mocking me!” Steve exclaims. 

“How am I mocking you, Steve?” 

Steve scoffs, shaking his head, “see, you’re doing it again!”

“Oh my god, shut the hell up!” Robin slams her hands against the table, truly, shutting them both up. “Eddie, get me a drink.” 

Both Steve and Eddie look at her as though she had grown two heads, while you giggle at her little outburst. 

“That was an order.” 

“Damn girl,” Eddie whistles, getting up from his chair, “you need more than one drink,” he mumbles as he walks off. 

“You are both two immature idiots,” she groans, burying her hands in her hair. 

“You are so mean to me,” Steve mumbles, looking at her in disbelief, “and that on my birthday!” 

A smile tugs at your lips, you look between them, chuckling at the way she rolls her eyes at him. 

“You know what, I really need a few drinks.” 

“Wait, are we actually doing this?” Steve asks, gesturing to the shots on the table. 

“What, getting drunk?” 

He nods at you. 

“Yeah. Just like old times, right?” You smile at him in a way you always used to. 

“Just like old times.” 

His eyes suddenly flash with amusement, he snorts, “do you remember my fifteenth birthday?” 

Your eyes widen as a giggle falls from your lips. 

“Of course I remember!”

Robin’s eyes flash with curiosity. There’s things she doesn’t know about yours and his friendship, things neither you or Steve had talked about yet. 

“Wait, what happened on your fifteenth birthday?” 

Your eyes light up with excitement, you lean closer to the table, looking at Steve, waiting for him to tell the story. 

He chuckles at the look on your face before he turns his body towards Robin. 

“We stole my dad’s super expensive wine, he was supposed to take it to some event – I got in so much trouble for that, by the way,” he says to you. 

“I know, I know. Keep going, Steve.”

“Alright, so, we stole that wine bottle. We played a drinking game, kept passing that bottle back and forth until we were fucking hammered,” he says, chuckling as he thinks back to that day in his backyard. The way you giggled at anything he said, the way you danced and ran around barefoot on the grass, the way you jumped in his pool, fully clothed, the way he hugged you when you were both in the water.

“This crazy girl over there started to cannon ball into my pool–” 

You giggle at the memory. 

“She did it over and over again and it looked so fun so I joined her. Honestly, it was pretty fun but I had half a bottle of wine and ate a whole pizza before that.” 

“Oh,” Robin scrunches her face up, already seeing where this is going. 

Steve can’t even fight the smile off his lips, his eyes crinkle, his cheeks flush and he giggles, “we’re in the pool, having the best time of our lives, right? And, fifteen year old me apparently thought that it was a good idea to kiss my best friend, but I totally missed her lips and kissed her nose and she fucking laughed at me, but I wanted to try again. I lean in when I suddenly feel the urge to throw up.” 

“Oh, ew! Stop!” 

“He threw up in the pool, Robin!”

“That’s so disgusting!” She whines, trying to get the image of Steve puking into the pool out of her head, “you don’t have any better stories to tell?” 

You and Steve can’t help but laugh harder at her reaction. 

“I mean the kiss on the nose is fucking embarrassing, Steve. But throwing up in front of her afterwards?” 

“I thought it was funny,” you giggle. 

“What is funny?” Eddie asks when he comes back with two drinks for Robin, placing them on the table and sliding them towards her before he sits down beside you again. 

“Trust me, you don’t wanna know,” Robin says with a look of disgust on her face. 

“I don’t?” He asks, glancing at you and how amused you look. 

“No, you really don’t.”

“Okay,” he snorts. 

He glances at Steve, grinning at him, “hey dude, I got a birthday present for you.” 

All three of you turn to look at Eddie in surprise, watching him in curiosity when he raises his hand, reaching for something in the pocket of his dark flannel. He picks out a joint, tossing it at Steve who catches it with one hand. 

He laughs at that, raising one brow, giving Eddie a smile, “I do appreciate this, it’s kind of expensive nowadays.” 

“Is it expensive?” You ask, turning to Eddie, “you always give me some for free.” 

Eddie’s lips curl into a smile, he lifts his hand towards your face, tapping your nose with his finger, “well, you’re my best friend.” 

Steve keeps his eyes down, not wanting to look between you and Eddie. 

You smile at the way Eddie looks at you, the way his eyes glisten, the way his cheeks are always a little red, the way–

“Do you guys wanna smoke this?” Steve asks, cutting the voice in your head. 

“Here?” 

He chuckles at Robin, “of course not. We could go back to my place, my parents aren’t home, anyways.”

To Eddie’s surprise, he not only directs these words at you and Robin, he also directs them at him. 

“Uh, I’d love to!” Robin grins. 

Steve gives you a hopeful smile, one that makes it impossible to say no to him. 

“Me too.” 

At that, his eyes light up and his smile grows bigger. 

“Sure, let’s do it.”

“We’ll have to walk though,” Robin gestures to the drink Steve already had, “cause you can’t drive and I don’t have a license.”

He shrugs, “we can take Eddie’s van and I’ll get my car tomorrow morning.” 

“Uh, no,” Eddie mumbles, scratching the back of his neck, “my uncle took my van cause his car is at the shop, we walked here.” 

Steve sighs, “shit.” 

“But you could let me drive, I didn’t have anything yet,” Eddie smirks, pointing to the untouched shots. 

Steve snorts at him with a deep glare, “uh, yeah, keep dreaming, Munson,” he mumbles as he leans back, reaching for the keys in his pockets, you all watch him curiously. “The only one who’s allowed to drive my car is dolly.” 

Robin raises her brows in surprise when Steve chucks his keys at you that you quickly catch, looking down at them with a dumbfounded expression before your eyes light up and you look up, beaming at Steve. 

“Okay, let’s go,” you smile, excitedly as you play with the car keys. You scoot back, getting up from the chair. Robin knocks back one shot before she gets up as well. Steve and Eddie glance at the four untouched shots on the table and then, their eyes meet, they both shrug at each other and reach for two shots, each. 

Robin pats Steve’s shoulder, chuckling when he knocks one back and then the other, grimacing at the strong taste. 

You giggle at Eddie, who looks unfazed by the bitter taste. 

“Let’s go, ladies and.. Steve,” he grins. 

“Dude.”

“Don’t start this again,” Robin warns, pointing at them both before she rushes over to you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder, she grins, “us ladies, ride in the front, and you two can cuddle in the back,” she winks at them, pulling you away with a giggle. 

-

After an eventful ride to Steve’s house and a few shots of tequila, you all settled in his backyard, each of you occupying one of the many loungers around the pool. Passing around the joint that Eddie had given Steve as a ‘birthday gift’. You are sipping on a drink that Steve has made for you, coke mixed with his dad’s expensive whiskey. You are pretty sure that you will regret the amount of alcohol and weed you are having tonight, when you wake up tomorrow morning. But the floaty and giddy feeling you are experiencing right now, will have to make up for it. 

Steve is sitting on the lounger beside you, a can of beer in his hand, his lips wrapped around the joint that is already stained with your lipstick. A spitcurl is hanging in front of his eyes, he doesn’t bother to push it away. He shakes his head at something Robin had said to him, something you didn’t even hear because you were too busy letting your eyes skip back and forth between him and the curly haired metalhead who now left his lounger to be closer to you. 

Eddie wraps his hands around your calves, stroking your skin softly with his ringed fingers as he places your feet on his lap. He does it all without breaking his conversation with Robin. Though he feels the goosebumps on your skin, he hears the breath that hitched in your throat when he touched you. He hides his smirk behind his drink as he takes a sip of the cold beer.

Steve clenches his jaw as he looks between you and Eddie. The way he continues to stroke your calf, the way he smirks at your reaction, the way you are blushing, biting your lip as you look down at the hand touching your skin. 

He forces himself to look away, turning back to Robin, he offers her the joint. 

“Thanks,” she mumbles, giggling when she almost doubles over as she reaches for the joint. 

“Already hammered and we haven’t even played a drinking game yet, tsk,” Eddie shakes his head, giving her a playful grin. 

With an eye roll, she gets up, placing the joint between her lips as she sits down next to Steve. 

“A drinking game, huh? What kind? ‘Never have I ever’? Okay,” She grins at him without giving him a chance to reply. “Never have I ever had a girlfriend,” she smirks, teasing him. 

Steve licks his lips, chuckling at Eddie, who nods at her with an annoyed look on his face. 

You raise your eyebrows, “why are you teasing him, I never had a girlfriend, either,” you shrug. 

“Yeah but you had a boyfriend,” she mumbles, nudging Steve’s shoulder. 

Eddie tilts his head at you, looking you up and down with a smirk, “do you want one?” 

“A girlfriend?” You ask as you raise the glass to your lips, shrugging, “I don’t know, I never thought about it but kissing girls is fun, so.. I suppose doing anything else with a girl is fun too.” 

Eddie’s lips part, his brown eyes widen, darkening as they do so. He swallows as he continues to stare at you. Millions of questions run through his mind. There are things he doesn’t know about you, yet? 

Robin and Steve look at you in surprise. 

“Wait, w-what?” He mumbles, laughing nervously. 

Robin’s lips curl into a smirk, “you kissed a girl before? Who?” 

“Yeah, sweetheart, do tell us your dirty little secrets.” 

“Hmm, no,” you smirk, batting your eyelashes at him. 

“Was that before or after me?” Steve asks, cheeks flushed red as he tries to fight the images out of his mind. 

“Before you,” you giggle. 

“Shit, I wanna know who it was.”

“Me too, Eddie,” Robin says. “I know that it wasn’t Chrissy, she’d tell me.” 

“Huh, was it another girl from the cheer squad?” 

You shake your head at Eddie, biting your lip to keep yourself from laughing. 

“Were you close?” 

You shrug, nodding your head.

Steve squints his eyes, tilting his head at you. 

Robin’s jaw drops a little when she figures it out. There is only one girl that you’re close with that wasn’t in the cheer squad – well, besides her. 

“Holy shit,” she mouths at you, grinning.

Steve and Eddie glance at each other in confusion. 

It’s amusing how obvious the answer is, yet, neither of them are close to figuring it out. 

“If you think kissing a girl is fun, you should try eating one out,” Robin mumbles before she takes a drag from the joint, “it’s the best thing ever.” She blows out the smoke, not noticing the confused frown on your face. 

“For once, I have to agree with you, Robin,” Eddie chuckles. 

Steve freezes, closing his eyes as he looks down. 

“Huh?” 

Noticing the look on your face, Robin suddenly regrets opening her mouth about that. Your lips are parted, your eyes filled with confusion and curiosity, your brows are pinched together as you stare at her with a questioning look on your face. She straightens her back, muttering a quiet ‘fuck’ under her breath when she looks at Steve’s embarrassed face. 

“What’s that?” 

Eddie freezes. The smirk falls from his face, he glances at you, at the clueless, lost look on your face. Oh. Steve had never – fuck. How? If you were his, he’d spend day and night on his knees, worshiping you. 

“Huh?” This time, it’s him, whose confused. 

You look at him with big and curious eyes. 

“What is that, I don’t watch porn.” 

“Damn, I guess it’s time to,” Robin mutters through gritted teeth. 

“Licking someone’s pussy, sweetheart. And well, fucking one with your tongue.” 

Your jaw drops, your cheeks heat up and you stare at him in shock. You look cute like this and he could stare at you forever but, in his state of shock, he slowly turns his head towards Steve, eyes filled with concern, confusion and disbelief, “dude, what is wrong with you?” 

Steve, whose face is beet red, glares at him. 

“I’m very self conscious of not doing a good job, so–”

“You learn!” Eddie throws his hands up. 

“What, Munson, are you the pussy expert or something?” He scoffs, rolling his eyes at him. 

You look back and forth between them. Taking in the sight of Eddie’s slightly angered face and Steve’s embarrassed one. 

“I have eaten my share of pussy, thank you very much.”

The scoff falls from your lips before you can even stop it. Neither of them acknowledge you though, until you open your mouth. “What, like three?” You scoff, again. “You only fucked three girls, that’s what you told me, unless you lied about that.” 

Eddie swallows, glancing at you, he fails to notice just how intense the look in your eyes is. 

“There’s a difference between sex and foreplay, sweetheart.” 

You bite the insides of your cheeks, swallowing the bitterness on your tongue as you look into his eyes. Not once, had you spent a single second wondering if Eddie was seeing someone, if he was fooling around with girls when he wasn’t with you. But now that you think about it, now that you imagine him with other girls, you suddenly feel the bile rising in your throat. The sickening feeling makes you want to drop to your knees and puke out the waffles you had eaten this morning.

“So, when was the last time you did that then, Eddie?” Robin asks, both curious to know and to see your reaction. 

He shrugs, “I don’t know, Buckley. I don’t keep count of how many days–”

“Yes, you do! Men always do!” 

He doesn’t feel comfortable sharing that in front of you, but he knows that Robin won’t drop it until she gets an answer she’s satisfied with. Besides, you probably won’t even care. Despite Dmitri’s encouraging words, he still refuses to believe that there are any feelings other than the platonic ones that you feel for him. This won’t hurt you, right? 

“Fine! Two or three months ago, happy? Now, Harrington, I think I should teach you some basics.” 

You feel as though a cold bucket of water has been dropped on you. Your heart leaps to your throat as your stomach drops. Another wave of sickness floods through you. You stare at him, not noticing Steve’s or Robin’s eyes on you. 

When was that? Was it the weekend you couldn’t spend time with him? The night you couldn’t come to his gig? Was it before or after he had gotten angry at you for kissing Steve? 

It shouldn’t affect you as much as it does, it shouldn’t make you feel this sick, this jealous. You barely figured out your feelings for him. But the longer you stare at him, listen to his words, you can’t help but feel anger rather than jealousy. 

You didn’t have feelings for him back then, or at least, you weren’t aware of them. He’s single and free to do whatever he wants but so are you – so were you when you kissed Steve and yet, he was so angry at you when he found out about it. He treated you so coldly, all because he hated the thought of you kissing Steve. Yet, he was out there fooling around with other girls.

“You have never actually eaten pussy before, dude?” Robin mumbles.

Steve rubs the back of his neck, nervously, “I mean, yeah. Just not–” he pauses with a look of shame in his eyes as he briefly glances at you. 

You roll your eyes. 

You’re not surprised to hear that, you’re not even hurt. After everything that happened between you and him, his sex life with Nancy is the last thing you had ever worried about. You always knew that he treated her better than he ever treated you. 

And, that he tried new things with her isn’t anything shocking to you, anyways. 

You open your mouth but before you can say something that might ruin the night, you press your lips together again. Sighing, you look down at your drink. You take a deep breath before you raise the glass to your lips, gulping down the rest of it.

You plaster a smile on your face. Ignoring the concerned looks that Robin is giving you. She thankfully changes the topic. Eddie and Steve, surprisingly fall into yet another conversation. 

Their distraction allows you to slip away for a moment, you pass by Robin without meeting her eyes and make a quick escape to the bathroom. Locking yourself into the small room for a moment to collect yourself. 

Despite the anger you are feeling, you don’t want to ruin the night for Steve. 

You splash some cold water and run your fingers through your hair. 

With tears in your eyes, you stare at yourself in the mirror. 

Whether it’s tears of anger or tears of sadness. You are sick of it. You are sick of yourself. You are sick of crying. You are sick of the pining, of the jealousy, of the sadness.

Steve had given Nancy everything. He tried new things with her while you were grieving your relationship, crying yourself to sleep and thinking about him like a goddamn fool while he was having the time of his life with a different girl. 

And Eddie, you try not to think about it, you try not to let the jealousy in. But you can’t push out the anger that you are feeling for him, right now. 

Or the anger that you are feeling for yourself.

How you take everything to heart. How you let everything and everyone hurt you. 

You are done. 

You are so fucking done. 

-

next chapter

-

tagging friends & mutuals

@taintedcigs @mysticmunson @littledemondani @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @succubusmunson @trashmouth-richie @xxhellfirebunnyxx @take-everything-you-can @sherrylyn628 @chrissymjstan @somethingvicked @nemesis729

[someonegoood]

MY WHOLE LIFE pt. 3 ✫ mason mount

part 1, part 2, final part.

in which after everything you gave, you're not sure if you're going to keep going. (brother’s best friends troop).

CONTAINS: brother’s best friend troop, angst, some smut (not really explicit) & fluff ! age gap, arguments...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: here's part 3 ! final part for my first two works, I'm proud of how it came out

taglist: @girlidekanymore @sunflower-tia @nicolesainz @chilwellspulisic @anotherfan07

inspired by taylor swift's songs.

The feeling of freshness —the wonderful smells, the damp feel of leaves falling down the trees, the breeze and the rain on your skin. The sound of rain is wonderful: not just between a hard roof and leaves, but you can hear it on different types of trees and hedges.

The flowers, which look like they were painted by Monet himself, have colours so rich that no one can even attempt to imitate them. From the smallest weed to the grandest stalk, they are all beautiful in your eyes.

Around you are your friends; some are talking or enjoying the countryside air. You had decided to take me on a little vacation before returning to the routine of the busy city of London.

No distractions, no disturbances, especially without him. After seeing how Mason smiled at that blonde standing next to him and Debbie's painful look in the boat, you knew all these years were in vain.

The moments when you took care of him after he vomited from all the alcohol he had consumed at the party, when you covered him so he could go on dates with different girls and other things you had done for him.

The last time Mason saw you still burned in the back of your mind, the little stolen glances he gave you while you were wearing a pink t-shirt, the one that you had left back in a drawer in the Mount's house. Stacey had told you the t-shirt drove him crazy.

It had been weeks, and you still couldn’t understand why nothing went your way. Was it you? Had you done something wrong? Had it been you that caused the gulf?

—Babes, how could you ever think it's your fault? Clearly, he is out of his mind. —Clara talked. You and your friends were sitting on the porch in the extensive field that belonged to your grandparents.

Then Adelaida, who was resting her head on your lap, suddenly stood up, leaning on one elbow and said: —Please don't think it's your fault, you would be lowering yourself to his level.

Everyone had been adamant that it wasn’t you... even your mother. But even with those words of affirmation, it didn’t change the internal feelings, the heartbreak that felt it was never-ending. 

All you ever wanted was that connection, that string, that feeling that pulled you to another person, that proved he was the person meant to be for you. It was devastating to think back and know he wasn’t. 

Even though you were angry at him, you knew that when you saw him you would act like a little girl, crazy in love.

On the other side, Mason was in the kitchen, picking at the leftover food on the tabletop as everyone else was in the living room. His mother walked into the kitchen as he took a bite of little meatballs that looked delicious and she laughed at the pieces of meat that had fallen onto the kitchen counter.

—That’s definitely not the way to eat —she smirked knowing his son wasn't the type of person to sit down and eat properly.

—But you love me anyways, mom. —Mason flashed his puppy eyes as his mum laughed at his actions. It had been a long year for Mason. He stopped turning to family events when he knew you would be there.

—Mason Tony Mount, I gave birth to you, I know you better than you know yourself-

—Mom. —Mason sighed. —Don't start this whole speech about her, please.

—Dear, I don’t even need to say her name... it will always be her. —She smiled, sadly, as she walked over to her son and placed a hand on his cheek.

—She's happy, from what I heard. —he scoffed again.

—So then you know you’re being an ass, right?

Mason's eyes widened at his mother's question but she just laughed and waved him off. —After all the years she spent after you, dear, it would be cruel for you to not let her be happy.

That sentence shattered his heart. You weren't the little girl who ran behind him in search of attention anymore, you were a woman with maturity, feelings and beauty.

—But what if I’m not happy? —he asked his mum. Debbie felt her heart clench at his words, it was never good for a mother when they saw their son being at his lowest.

—Do you love her?

There was no answer.

—See, that would be very cruel. Mase... either you love her or you’re jealous. Just remember that she's a second daughter to me and I know her like the palm of my hand. I'm certain that she’s fragile when it comes to you.

After a week in the countryside with your friends, you were back in the city, at a party the english players were throwing in celebration of their team winning the last few games.

Every time he looks at you, it’s making him go mad. It surprises him how much influence you have on his night out. He actually believed he could handle it, seeing you after a while. Normally he’s the one who takes you to the football after-parties because you begged him like crazy. But not this time.

Did you wear a white dress on purpose tonight? He doesn’t know. You look beautiful and he wishes he had the nerve to tell you how great white looks on you. He remembers the time you almost kiss in the box, you in the white sweatshirt with his number. The guy talking to you on your right was Foden. Did you wear it for him? He doesn’t believe that, he doesn’t think he deserves that. 

Mason sighs. This is one of the hardest nights in his life. He shouldn’t have messed it up. If he didn’t follow what Ben said to him, he would probably be the one talking to you. Fucking Ben.

At the same time, you don’t know what’s bothering Mason. You thought he would be coming to the afterparty with Daphne, but his friends confirmed that he forgot her quickly. He didn't even kiss her. Neither touch her.

It surprised you, you were afraid he would show up with that beautiful model. A part of you felt really happy.

You feel his eyes burning into you while you talk to Foden. You quickly take the cocktail out of Phil's hands, while thanking him in the meantime. He shrugs it off. 

—What’s up with you? —He asks you after you take a few sips. 

—What do you mean? —You ask him. Is he noticing your bad mood? You tried hiding it, but maybe you failed.

—You seem distracted. Did something happen? —he goes on. You take a sip of your cocktail, thinking about your response. Could it be a bad plan to tell him about Mase? They’re friends after all. But on the other hand, it would be nice to talk about it to someone. 

—It’s him, isn’t it? —Foden answers his own question. You didn’t even realize you were looking at Mason until Phil spoke. You nod towards him, —Let’s go outside.

Then, you're sitting on a wooden bench outside. The white dress doesn’t give you much warmth, so you embarrassingly start to shiver. Before you can notice it, Phil drapes his jacket around your shoulders. 

—Fuck... —he says, regretting. —I knew it would be a bad plan to invite you. —Mutters softly, —I thought it was a good idea to make you feel better, now I just got Mount to get angry at you.

You laughed, thinking that was very cute. —That’s not true, Phil —you try to comfort him, —you can’t help me being an idiot.

—To be fair, Mason and you are both idiots. —Foden laughs, —Definitely unaware idiots-

But before he can explain to you anything, Mason shows up in front of you. 

While walking back to his car, he notices the sound of people talking outside. He thinks he’s recognizing your voice. He must be going insane, he thinks tiredly to himself. But still, he walks towards the sound. Quickly seeing you and Phil sitting together... fucking hell, why are you wearing his jacket? 

Before he realizes it himself, he stands before you and his teammate Foden. The chattering stops directly, did he interrupt something? He feels awkward with you and Phil looking at him amusingly. How can he fix this awful situation? 

—I uh... I wanted to say bye to you. —Mason said, ignoring the existence of Phil. —I am supposed to bring you home or will Phil...?—He stutters eventually, not wanting to finish his question.

—Wait, Mase, can we talk? —You react before Mason turns around and walks to his car in a rush. He nods.

—Of course.

The silence was sharply awkward.

—Don’t forget your jacket, Foden —Mason quickly says, —she can wear mine while we’re outside.

Phil, who no longer was sitting on the bench, laughed for a bit at his hopeless friend. Then he walks up to you, and takes his own jacket from your shoulders, while Mason quickly takes off his. You give Phil a quick hug to thank him, before getting into Mason's jacket.

—Don’t be an idiot to her —says Phil toward Mason whispering in his ear. You smile shyly, flushing with Phil's comment. 

Mason doesn’t know how to watch the interaction between his friend and you. He doesn't know where to look when you turn your attention to him. The white dress quickly grabs his attention once again.

Silently, both of you walk to the parking lot where his fancy Mercedes-AMG was parked. You had always made fun of him because the car was too posh in your opinion, although every time you needed a ride home you always ended up in his car.

Firstly he took the car keys out of his pocket and then he opened your door for you. He had always been a gentleman. The situation is unexpected, yet influenced by the tension that’s been built between you two through the last couple of months. 

—So, what do you want to talk about? —Mason asks you. You lasted a few seconds thinking about how to answer his question.

—Why were you ignoring me today? Why didn’t you come up to me and Phil to say hi? —You fire multiple questions at him, —did I do something wrong? Are you upset with me? —Your words cut through the thick air inside the car.

—I thought the two of you were busy with each other. —Mason mutters.

You scoff, this was unbelievable. —That’s bullshit Mase, you know I always make time for you.

—God!, I just wasn’t in the mood to see you two. —He said, elevating his tone, trying to sound casual but deep down, jealousy was gnawing at him like a relentless beast.

You don’t know what to say to Mason. You don’t even know what the boy means. He wasn’t in the mood to see you? Since when could that happen? 

—Why? —You barely dare to ask him. You have no choice, so you repeat your last question —why, Mase? —Your eyes start to fill with tears.

Mason sighs, —You won’t get it.

—You don’t know that. Try me.

—I just... I just don’t like seeing you with other boys —he confessed. You doubt for a bit. Should you tell him you were relieved he showed up alone instead of coming with Daphne? You decide not.

—Oh, come on Mason! You can't say that! —You almost shout. Mason's eyes open like plates. You had never raised your voice at him like that, so angry.

—Why not? —He, as well, says almost shouting.

—Because you don't have the right! It's-it's just that you can't say that as if my feelings were so simple... —You tried to calm yourself, you could lost everything now.

—Mason, I've been with you since the beginning and you know that. I'm your biggest supporter and deep inside you know I’ll always cheer for you. I’ve spent my whole girlhood- Fuck. —Tears start scrolling down your delicate face. He looks at you as if you were graceful.

—I wanted to be with you tonight, —you eventually say after a long silence—but you looked at me as if I didn’t matter.

—I know.

You sigh. Can't the boy say anything else? You feel obligated to talk further: —Why aren’t you telling me what’s wrong?

You don't get any answer. Looking at the ceiling of the car, you try to keep your cool.

—You know what? I’m going back to the party. Call me when you can explain at least something. —You want to undo yourself from Mason's warm jacket, but he stops you directly by grabbing your arm.

—I know you deserve to know what’s going on, but I don’t want to lose you. I know it’s a shitty excuse which makes everything even more unclear, but please don’t go back inside. —Mason talks soft and fast —and please keep the jacket on.

—What’s so important about the jacket? —You ask with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood a bit. 

—Your dress distracts me and I don’t want to see you in anyone else’s jacket again. —This time he is direct with his words. Almost harsh. You wonder why your dress distracts him. Does he find it ugly?

 —Don’t you like the dress? —You ask.

 —I fucking love the dress. —Mason says. At that moment you feel something clicking. Despite his short explanation, you wonder if Mason may return your feelings.

—Just give me time. Everything is happening so fast and the fact that I'm just realizing that all these years all I've been doing is hurting you makes me go mad angry at myself. —He says, without breathing. —And... I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry for everything I've done, for the countless times I've hurt you. I promise you will have a proper explanation. —He tried to smile, with tears in his eyes.

—That's the Mase I know... —You laugh lightly and Mason just stares at you, sweetly. —Now take me back home, probably my brother is already wasted.

What you didn't know is that that day Mason Mount started falling in love with you.

A few days after you were your house, sat in the cozy familiarity of the your couch while your mother flipped through the pages of a weathered photo album resting on her lap. Each turn of the page revealed a snapshot of your brother's and your past, a journey frozen in time.

—Look! You're wearing my glasses! —Said your mother, with clear emotion in her voice. She turned some pages that had photographs of your childhood: when you were born, your first tooth fell out and many more memories.

Your cheeks flushed with nostalgic warmth, a subtle testament to the innocence and joy captured in each photograph.

Among the sepia-toned memories and faded polaroids, there was a page filled with pictures where Mason and you, both still little children, intertwined in laughter playing in the park.

Your mom pinched your cheek. —Someday you will realize that everything you did was not in vain, on the contrary, it was all worth it. —She stopped to take a breath. —Because golden loves are like that. They stay with you forever.

—How beautiful, mom. —You ironized. She laughed.

—It will, darling... Come here. —And then you hugged her. You hugged her with all your might as you felt her warmth on your face. She giggled, breaking the embrace.

—You'll need a spell to make Mason realize what a fool he is.

—Mom!

A couple days later, you were back at Stamford Bridge once again. As you approach the stadium, you can feel the excitement building. The streets around the stadium eagerly anticipate the game ahead.

Inside the stadium, the dominant colour is blue. The stands are filled with supporters adorned in their team's jerseys, scarves, and signs that say "Pride of London".

—Call her Mason, I’m sure she's in the stands —said Ben, while putting on the new shirt they played in today. Mason held his cell phone, sitting on the bench in the large locker room.

Today was Valentine's Day and Mason had a game. Your brother told Mason he was going out on a date with his girlfriend but you would go in his place, as usual. He didn't know if you were coming, so Mason was nervous, especially with the talk you had in his car.

You had called Debbie in the morning, asking her if you should come to the game, and she told you that Mason would be more than happy to see you there. You wondered if he knew what you were up to if your brother had kept him in the loop.

Pick it up.

Pick it up.

The third tone rang while Ben tried to hold Mason, about to faint from anxiety. In the background, music was blasting from the speakers while the guys on the team began gathering in the locker room for their last talk before the game started.

Reece James leaned closer, curious why his teammate was sitting with his phone in hand, bouncing his leg nervously.

—What has got Mount that nervous? I've never seen him like this —he says to Ben, seated next to Mason, fixing his shoes.

—It's his girlfriend-

—She's not my girlfriend! —Mason interrupted Chilwell, with an expression of fear. You still haven't answered him and the fact that his friends were bothering him added to his anxiety.

—Give me that shit. —Suddenly Kai Havertz appeared out of nowhere, grabbing Mason's phone and putting the call on speaker. Everyone's attention was on the tones ringing, hoping you'll pick up. The team had witnessed your situationship since Mason had joined Chelsea, so they knew you quite well.

—Hi? Mason?

Kai, standing on the bench in the centre of the room, had the phone in his hand so everyone could hear. His eyes widened and his mouth also opened, in surprise. Everyone stood up while Mason's blood pressure went down.

With a jump, Havertz handed the cell phone to his friend so he could answer you. There was a silence between your response and his because his teammates were signalling to him, guiding him in his response.

—Yes? —That was the only thing he could think of at that moment.

—You... you've just called me minutes before your game. Is everything okay? Do you need something? —For you, it was strange that Mason called you, especially right before his game. Mason's teammates melt with your response, you seemed like a worried girlfriend.

—N-no, I was calling to know if you're on Stamford Bridge. —He stuttered, nervous about your answer. You smiled a bit, already seated between the blue tide of fans.

—Of course! I wouldn't miss a game for anything Mase. —And that was the end of him. He said goodbye saying that he had to go out and play and hoped you liked the game, while all his friends were shouting acknowledging that probably by the end of the year, they would have a new addition on their team.

The match ended with Chelsea winning by two goals and the assistance of Mason. You couldn't be more proud of him and after the exhilarating victory at Stamford Bridge, you made your way to the cooldown room, where players and staff often gather to unwind after the match.

As you entered, you spotted Mason, the hero of the game with his crucial assist. A sense of pride swelled within you as you approached him. He was putting something in his backpack, distracted.

—Incredible game out there, —you said, startling Mason. He turned with a smile, recognizing your voice without seeing your face.

—Thanks, this means a lot to me... —Mason replied, his face beaming with satisfaction. You both exchanged a few more words about the match, sharing our favourite moments and the atmosphere at the stadium. Then, out of the blue, Mason's tone turned slightly more serious.

—You know... —he said, pausing for a moment. —I've been thinking. We've been through so much together, your support has meant a lot to me.

You nodded, feeling a sense of tenderness with him. Mason took a deep breath before continuing. —Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to grab dinner later. Just to say thanks for always being there, you know?

Surprised by the unexpected invitation, you couldn't help but smile. —I'd be honoured to join you. —You said, laughing out of nervousness.

A couple hours later, Mason kept his hand on your lower back as he led you through the restaurant, your body settled into his side. His hand slid around your waist while opening the door, a shiver already wracking your body. You gasped at the white snow starting to lay outside, thick flakes slowly falling from the sky.

—Look there! Mase, it's snowing! —You tugged a little on Mason's hand on your waist, the heat replacing the cold feeling on your fingers. There was already a pretty thick layer on the ground and you wondered briefly how long it had been snowing. —It's so pretty.

Mason watched your smile widen when he was paying the bill, as you tilted your head back, eyes squinting as the flakes cascaded down. He'd never seen anyone get so excited over snow.

You looked so good under the twinkling lights, the candle in the middle of the table illuminating half of your face. He was having an amazing time, already realizing he mad in love with you.

From the way you keep your hair in a messy ponytail to the way you are surprised by the snow. Everything about you was perfect for him.

—Do you want to go for a walk before I take you home? —He slid his hand over your jaw, his thumb stroking away the little flake on your cheek. You gave a small nod, flushed since all of this was new for you. He grinned before stepping back and holding his hand out to you.

—M'lady?

You looped your arm through his and the two of you started off down the street, his gaze darting between you and the falling snow. You snuggle as close as possible to him to steal some of his natural body heat.

Snow was falling and settling into Mason’s hair, individual flakes dropping onto his eyelashes and you were certain he’d never looked prettier.

—Remember the time I tried to sneak out and you caught me? That time I was actually grounded for fighting with my brother and I wanted to buy the new console game you were so interested in. —You said, recalling those silly things.

He didn't know if his cheeks were flushed pink from the cold or from what you'd just said.

—But that game was so expensive!

—I know! I just wanted to give you something for your birthday. That's why I didn't have any presents for you at your birthday party.

Mason caught your gaze, head cocking curiously at the sudden shy look that had taken over your features. You let your eyes wander from him to the snow-filled street around you. You slowed to a stop, right against the barriers of the little lake and you leant against it, the two of you facing each other, your hand still clasped in his.

All you wanted was to grab him and kiss him, you didn’t care who saw or if you got a cold, you just wanted to kiss him in the snow.

After a silence, he said: —You know I want you, right?

You looked at him. Surprised. Self-conscious Scared. But above all, in love.

—I've been thinking and I can't help falling for you now. I’m not jealous because you have other people in your life, I’m not a fucking kid. That time with Phil, at the party, made me realize that I want you with me... By my side. I want to be the one you say 'I love you' to, I want to be the one that cuddles you, that-

You interrupted him. —Mase, I… I don’t know how to say this… —Voice uncertain as you watched for his reaction, for any flicker of emotion that stated he didn't want that.

His face fell, and he retracted his hands from the barriers that before were trapping you between his body and the barriers. Ready for rejection, he looked into your eyes.

—I… I like you too. —You looked down, feigning sadness. When you looked up, he was squinting at you. —I don't know how are you convincing my brother you're good enough for me...

—I'd probably invite him to one of my games and we could go for dinner after the game? I'll book somewhere for us. —You matched his smile with a nod, shoulders relaxing slightly after the confession as you pulled your hand from his so you could settle your arms around his neck instead.

—Sounds amazing. Deep inside he's a West Ham fan, y'know. — Mason's face contorted a little when he bumped his nose against yours, lips lightly brushing together.

—Oh shut up, —he muttered into your lips, —let me kiss you.

And you obeyed, your hands resting nervously at his neck as he ravished you, his tongue begging for entrance. You allowed it, moaning into his lips as they intertwined perfectly. His hands travelled from your hair to your waist where he pushed you closer to him.

You indeed had waited your whole life for this.

[vivwritesfics]

No Need To Ask

Chapter Twenty-Eight - The End Of It All

The Norris' were a notorious crime family in the UK. One of many. With Norris, the head of the family, running operations with his son, Lando, they work to keep Y/N Norris, Norris' daughter protected. Life in a crime family wasn't something they wanted for her.

But with tension with one of the Spanish crime families rise, Norris and his now deceased wife come up with only one plan, offer their daughter to the Sainz's or risk an all out war.

1.4K words

This is the final chapter of NNTA! I can't believe we're at the end. After 50000 words and heartbreak, we're finally at the end. Of course, I'm always open to blurb ideas for this series!

Series Masterlist

Being pregnant was hard, Y/N Sainz decided as she waddled around the house with Bones at her said. Bones was the guard dog, a beautiful Doberman, that her husband had bought for her. They had two other dogs, but Bones was hers, completely loyal to her.

She sat on the sofa, below the air conditioning, and turned on the television. Bones jumped up onto the sofa beside her, laying his head on her too large baby bump as the television started up.

"Querida," said Carlos as he walked past her, papers in his hands. He stopped and bent down to give her a kiss. "How is our little man doing?"

He didn't say anything about Bones, who usually wasn't allowed on the sofa when Carlos was there. Just scratched the space between his ears.

Y/N lifted Bones's head and grabbed a hold of Carlos's hand. She placed his hand onto her bump and let him feel. "Any day now," she said. "I can't wait to have him out of me."

Grinning, Carlos leaned down and kissed her cheek. "I can't wait to get you pregnant yet again," he said with a cheeky grin.

He went to stand up, but Y/N had already wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him in place. "Sweetie," she said slowly, still wearing her saccharine smile. "Honey, darling."

But then the smile dropped from her face. "You're not putting another baby in me, Carlos Sainz Vázquez de Castro," she said and let go of him. "Not for another year, at least."

Carlos laughed and leaned down to give her one last kiss. He scratched the top of Bones's head and made his way back up to his office.

Ever since everything went down, Carlos was a different man. He'd stayed the same as the man Y/N had for company in the cabin, if not even sweeter. He wasn't cruel, he wasn't domineering and he wasn't abusive.

He was perfect.

Y/N watched the television in Spanish, with English subtitles on the bottom. It was really helping with her grasp of the language. Carlos helped too, when he could, whispering sweet words in her ear late at night. But, the biggest help of all, was Señora Sainz.

She refused to speak to Y/N in any sort of english, so she had to learn to adapt. During family dinners (where Carlos sat in the place of his father), the entire family spoke in Spanish, chatting about their day and whatever else came to mind.

After she had been watching Spanish soap operas for an embarrassing amount of time, Carlos walked out of his office, down the stairs and over to his wife, sitting in the seat opposite her.

"Verstappen wants Max to come and stay with us for a few days," he said as he laced his hands together.

This was great new. Y/N loved Max and she hadn't seen him since her short stay in the Netherlands. But there was something off about the whole thing. "Is Verstappen sending him as punishment for something?"

The look Carlos gave her confirmed it. Max was being punished for something and, knowing Jos, it was probably for being too soft. "We should just keep him here," she mumbled under her breath and readjusted her seating position (it was incredibly hard to get comfy being this pregnant). "He's twenty six and his dad treats him like a naughty little boy." She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. "I hate Jos."

Max arrived at the Sainz house the next day. He went to say hello to Y/N, to wrap his arms around the woman he had gotten close to all those months ago, but Bones wouldn't let him. Held back by Carlos he barked at Max, snapping at his heels.

That was the first thing Carlos concentrated on, allowing the guard dogs to get used to him. It wasn't long before they realised he wasn't a dangerous intruder.

Max was the perfect companion for Y/N. He kept her company, had her relaxing with him in the pool (he was the first person to try going down the slide that Carlos had installed).

He was only in the Sainz house for a week before she went into labour.

The contractions started and Y/N didn't say anything, suffering through it with clenched teeth. Max didn't notice at first. He ate popcorn as they watched a movie, completely unaware.

And then they got stronger, closer together, and Y/N struggled to hide it. And then her water broke.

"Fuck!" Max cried when he finally notice. "Shit, shit, shit!" He ran out of the room, up the stairs and into Carlos's office. "The baby! Coming! Help!" He cried.

Max had never seen somebody move as fast as Carlos did in that moment. He was out of his office in the blink of an eye and running down the stairs heading towards his wife. "Max! Get the go bag from my closet!" He shouted.

As Carlos headed to Y/N, Max ran down the hall and into Y/N and Carlos's bedroom. He went straight into the walk-in closet and went through it, searching for the go bag. Carlos hadn't thought about what was in the closet when he sent Max to get the go bag. He didn't think about Max pushing the handcuffs, whips and more to the side as he searched for the go bag.

But Carlos didn't have time to think about that. He crouched in front of his wife and pushed her hair out of her face. "Mi amor," he said, taking her hands. "Max said the baby is coming. Are you ready to go to the hospital?" His voice was calm as he spoke.

Y/N nodded her head. "Get this thing out of me," she said through a laugh and allowed her husband to help her up.

Slowly and carefully he walked her through the house, leading her to the front door. Max joined them, go bag over his shoulder. He held the front door open as Carlos walked her towards the car.

Being the wife of Carlos Sainz, head of the Sainz family, meant that she got the best medical care available. Her cries filled the hospital as she pushed, her husband holding her hand and pressing a damp cloth to her forehead. "You're doing it, baby," he said softly.

Y/N couldn't hear him as he spoke, too focused on the pain. Nothing could have prepared her for this feeling. But it would all be worth it, she had to keep telling herself.

After a matter of hours (although it felt a lot longer), Oscar Pau Sainz was crying in his fathers arms. He had been wrapped in a blanket, a little blue hat on his head. Y/N had her eyes closed as she took a moment to rest, utterly exhausted after the whole ordeal.

Left out in the waiting room, it had been Max's job to inform the other heads of families. Everybody (but his own father, who didn't really care) messaged to congratulate the couple and made arrangements to get to Spain as soon as possible

The next day, after staying overnight in the hospital, Carlos and Y/N drove him. Max had taken the car and driven home the day before, but had come back to pick the couple up. He drove with Carlos in the passenger seat and Y/N in the back with baby Oscar, her baby Oscar.

"A package for you guys came," said Max as they drove towards the house. "I've left it in the kitchen."

When they got to the house, Y/N and Carlos walked straight up stairs and into baby Oscar's room. "This is your bedroom," she whispered as Carlos carried the carrier inside.

As Y/N laid baby Oscar in the crib, Carlos ran downstairs for the package. He didn't know what he expected, but it certainly wasn't this. He placed the package back in the box and brought it up to his wife, who was sitting in the rocking chair in baby Oscar's room.

"Here," he said, passing it to her. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up, sitting in her place and pulling her into his lap.

Y/N took the item out of the box. It was a little stuffed rabbit that looked a little worn and old, but had certainly been cleaned. "Oh, this is lovely," he said, laying the rabbit in her lap as she grabbed a hold of the note inside of the box.

He'd want him to have this - N. Piastri (Oscar's mom)

Taglist (CLOSED): @biancathecool @multi-universe21 @formulas-bitch @gills-lounge @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @carlossainzwho @f1lov3r @samaib11 @charli123456789 @queenofmanydreams @ironmaiden1313 @vellicora @glitterf1 @80sloverry @lightdragonrayne @moonayu @bellsalabanccini @topguncultleader @handsupforamiracle @cmleitora @jenniferrvsesi @barcelonaloverf1life @sbella13 @nicolettecallednikki @darleneslane @thehufflepuffavenger1 @champagneproblems17 @aespie @yukheizcigarettes @rewmuslupin @hollie911 @ashy-kit @ririgy @stqrgir1 @zaynzierulez @minkyungseokie @rafaaoli @carolinesainz @ashies-ln4op81aa22 @measimp @mizelophsun11 @eviethetheatrefreak @andydrysdalerogers @chonkybonky @shobaes @celesteblack08 @watermelonworries @gracielukey @cassie0sstuff @goldenharrysworld @venusesworld @sparklyperfectionstranger @evans-dejong @graciewrote @formulaal

[pintrestgrl]

you said angst so... jj x kook!reader JJs starts pushing pogues and reader away and when reader tries to get through to JJ, he says awful things to reader hitting her/them below the belt by bringing up her trauma and the fact she/they are a kook. maybe she completly ices him and the pogues out(bc the pogues forgave him) and start hanging out with kooks. maybe the topper/rafe/kelce trio to really drive home she doesn't care about them anymore. maybe she's even there when pope and jj get beat up? IDK i thought this up off the top of my head. i don't reader crying in the shower heartbreaking sob fest angst. also i left what her supposed trauma up to you bc i don't know how far you're willing to go with that.

-💐

okay i lied. i’m doing this one bc it intrigued me.. lol. but also hi 💐 anon !! ur not overwhelming me i love all the asks, it’s just a matter of energy lol. but love u !!

also prepare for this to be lengthy due to the thick plot, lol

i actually am proud of this and how i wrote it, i rlly like it 🥹.

i will get out more posts today, likely 2-3. 4 if i get drink an alani lmao.

mean!jj x sensitive!kook!reader.

you had always known jj, due to the small size of the island. however, you just started getting closer with him the past few weeks.

you had always seen into him more then others did, even from afar.

you noticed the bruises on his cheeks, and how they’d fade over the next few days. you noticed when he’d gotten a haircut, likely from john b. you didn’t know why, but you found him interesting.

you probably shouldn’t have, considering your brother — rafe, absolutely hated him. he was a bad kid, you always saw him getting arrested with the rest of the pogues.

the reason you two started getting closer, was due to a drunken hookup you had a misunderstanding on. clearly, he looked at it as any other girl he would hook up with, no feelings and not a thought about it again.

you however, looked at it way different. you really genuinely liked him, truly. you didn’t care about any of the bad rumors about him, you didn’t see him as just the bad. you saw the good too.

a few days ago, you went to the chateau to see jj. you hadn’t talked to him since the hookup, expect for minor greetings. you wanted to get to know him more. understand him, fully and completely.

it’s safe to say it didn’t go well. you sat him down, explaining how you really did like him. he listened at first, but as soon as you started trying to open him up, he immediately tensed.

you asked him about how come he always has those bruises on him, and where they’re from. he stood up immediately, scoffing at your attempt.

“you’re fuckin’ serious? you just came here to make fun of me?”

you shook your head quickly at his misunderstanding, explaining how that’s not what you meant at all.

“y’know, it’s not shit you would understand at all. you’re too much of a dumb pretty little ‘kook princess’ with no thoughts in her head to figure it out.”

you swallowed at his harsh words, tears filling your eyes. you opened your mouth to speak, but he just kept spewing more words out.

“ever think that’s why i didn’t talk to you after we hooked up? because we couldn’t ever be anything. i could never be with somebody like you.”

tears fell from your eyes at his words, trying to take deep breaths. you attempted to speak again, before he interrupted you.

“just save it, okay? go back to figure 8 where you belong.”

you let more tears fall, listening to him and gathering your stuff and leaving the chateau.

you walked home with tears down your face the whole time, thoughts stirring. was that really all he thought about you? just a kook who never had to worry about anything?

your tears eventually faded, feelings going numb from exhaustion.

when you got home, you pushed your way past your family, going upstairs to shower.

when you got in, you immediately broke down again. tears filling your eyes and streaming down your face.

you wanted jj to like you, you really did. but if he really had those thoughts of you, you needed to let him go. you couldn’t go on thinking about him, worrying, if your feelings weren’t reciprocated.

over the next few days, you left jj and every pogue alone. you noticed him around, though. you didn’t see the pogues around him, either. it seemed like he was avoiding them, just like you were avoiding him. he looked almost upset, everywhere he went too.

after a while, he got over whatever little mood he was in and you saw him laughing, running around with his friends again.

you however, were not over it. his words really hurt, and you couldn’t get them out of your head. but you knew you needed to give him the same treatment back.

so you decided to start hanging out with your friends too. you started going to the boneyard with topper, kelce, and rafe. you knew jj hated them, but you couldn’t bring yourself to show any care if you weren’t receiving any.

you left him alone for a while after that, silently thinking and worrying about him in your head instead.

you opted for watching from afar, both of you making awkward eye contact at times.

you still wondered where those bruises came from, and if you would ever know at all.

[enchantedbarnes]

Recommendations 💖

I've been wanting to do something with recommendations for ages now, but there's just too many to even know where to begin! Here's a chaos list of past and present faves 🥰

Completed fics

Undisclosed by @pellucid-constellations

Pairing: Lumberjack!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Desperate to outrun a secret that could cost you your life, you seek refuge in a small mountain town. Its deep forests and small cabins make it the perfect place to hide, but the travel website hadn’t mentioned anything about the quiet, burly lumberjack that wouldn’t leave your thoughts. No one had warned Bucky about you either. 

Lumpy and Bunny masterlist by @sweetdreamsbuck

Pairing: beefy lumberjack!bucky x f!reader

Summary: Bucky's never been so scared of a feeling in his life. there are too many what if's– too many fears bubbling deep within the parts of him left broken and hollow, untouched for far too long. but he never envisioned finding you– and he's entirely too impatient; entirely too certain no one's ever been more infatuated with something than how he feels for you.

Sweet and Sour by @sashaisready

Pairing: Bucky Barnes Mob AU x Femme Reader

Summary: You're hard at work in Pepper's Bakery when notorious mob boss James 'Bucky' Barnes darkens your doorway one typical afternoon, and life is never the same again.

While you're over there you might as well check out ...

Under the Radar by @sashaisready

Pairing: Nick Fowler x reader

Summary: Reader is a brilliant but shy and awkward CIA employee whose work is often overlooked by her colleagues…she’s blended into the background for so long that she doesn’t think there’s any other way - even if she does have secret aspirations for another life. Unbeknownst to her - a certain blue eyed agent is very aware of her talents, even if nobody else is.

The Lookout by @mymoonagedaydream

Pairing: ParkRanger!Bucky x y/n

Summary: It was amazing, really, how quickly one person managed to turn your dream job into a living nightmare.

Operation get Mr Bucky and Momma together by @golden-barnes

Paring: Beefy and Teacher! Bucky x milf! reader Summary: Bucky doesn't play favorites but Amaya is definitely his favorite, especially because her mom is hot.. Cue a 6-year-old trying to get Bucky to be her dad.

Worst Idea Ever by @firefly-in-darkness

Pairing: Y/N & Bucky Barnes, Other Marvel Characters.

Summary: Wedding Season is brutal as it is but throw in two friends that decide to be each other’s plus ones and a mixed bag of feelings, what's the worst that could happen?

Classylo's masterlist

home for the holidays by @classylo

When your family begs you to come home for the holidays and to bring the new guy you’ve been seeing, you don’t have the heart to tell them your good-for-nothing-ex cheated on you… good thing your roommate is available and will do absolutely anything you ask.

should've been you by @classylo

He was supposed to meet you at the game. He was supposed to be the one you went on a date with. He was the one you were supposed to fall in love with. Yet, here you are three years into a relationship with another… it should’ve been him, not his best friend.

Moral of the Story by @justkending

Summary: From childhood friends, to highschool sweethearts, the two naive, young, and lovestruck teens decided the best way to keep a strong relationship during college would be to marry right out of highschool. No one batted an eye at the idea as everyone knew they were soulmates. However, college is a big step in a person’s life. You learn new things about yourself, you make new friends, find new hobbies… And maybe being newly weds and going to different colleges across the states wasn’t the best plan… After a falling out, a tragic and heartbreaking divorce, the two now despise the other for how the whole thing was handled. Neither not really knowing both sides of the story. 10 years later, and they both get a call from the lawyers office that settled their divorce. Somehow the papers never went through and the divorce was never completed. So now, the exes, or should we say husband and wife, have to meet back up after all these years to settle their failed marriage once and for all.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Everest by @justkending

Summary: She was done and retired. After Thanos and the battle of a lifetime, she called it quits and distanced herself from the Avenger lifestyle. But word finds her that someone from her past is in danger. What the journey entails was never one she wanted to face nor one she saw becoming her reality again. The rollercoaster that comes with fighting evil odds arrives on her doorstep, not leaving much room for a no… Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Coming in Hot by @nexusnyx

When your best friend Sarah recommends you a mechanic of her brother’s trust, all you can think about and pray to is that he doesn’t rip you off. Your car is your prized possession and amidst all the worry and concern of your medical studies, drowning in even more debt sounds as suffocating as it would be. Of course, you never thought of the possibility of the mechanic being the problem. A hot, polite, gentle, and silent-type of problem. Drowning in debt would be easier to navigate than the blue of Bucky Barnes’s eyes.

Pairing: Mechanic Bucky x Reader

Though I Have Never Read by @tuiccim

Pairing: Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Summary: You had run away from all of your problems and found solitude in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. When a storm blows in, it drags a man with a metal arm through your door. Offering shelter, you spend one night together before he disappears. Years later, you find yourselves together again but does he remember that night or you at all?

Blink Twice by @simmerandwrite

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: It was just an undetermined amount of time in a safehouse with a stranger: Bucky “I didn’t come here to make friends” Barnes himself. Would it really be all that different from your lonely life with your cat in the city? Bucky was basically a cat, anyway. He was quiet on his feet, only really made noise when it was dinner time, and you both seemed to just coexist without acknowledging each other. His mandate was to keep you safe. What could go wrong?

teach me how to love by @buckyismybicycle

Pairing: DAD!BUCKY X TEACHER!READER

Natasha leaves behind her precious daughter, Yelena, and with her dying breath asks Bucky to look after her.

Sweet by @noceurous

summary: it was something cliche but your fuck buddy fell for you nonetheless, even though you swore you would never do relationships again. But rules are meant to be broken.

call me when you want by @bonky-n-steeb

summary: when you call a sex hotline with a need to be dominated you don’t expect to meet (or hear) someone as wonderful as James. but your life becomes a complicated mess as you already love your coworker, Bucky Barnes. however, you are unaware that they are actually the same person.

Grow Old With Me by @sonderosa

Part 1 & Part 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

...you could wait fifty years if he asked it of you. You’d promised him that, and he’d smiled and kissed you, told you that in fifty years he wanted to be old with you, sitting on a porch in rocking chairs and watching the sunset. You wanted that, too; it was a beautiful dream.

Sweeter Than Honey by @foreverindreamlandd

Pairing: Mechanic!Bucky x Fem!Personal Assistant!Reader Summary: It's your first international trip working for bestselling author Tony Stark as his new personal assistant, and you're desperate to prove yourself worthy of such an incredible opportunity. But when things start to go wrong whilst staying in Dublin, and suddenly you're stuck in the middle of the Wicklow Mountains with a flat tire, you're convinced that you'll be fired before the day is over. Luckily, a handsome, blue-eyed mechanic with an accent that makes your insides melt comes just in time to save the day.

Their other series are also *chefs kiss* -> go read the rest of @foreverindreamlandd's series

Love at First Grade by @buckysimp101

Pairing: Single Dad!Bucky Barnes x Single Mom!Reader;  Teacher!Bucky x CEO!Reader

Summary: When father and first grade teacher Bucky Barnes ends up with Avery L/N in his class, the daughter of the “ruthless” CEO of L/N Enterprises, he's in for a surprise that's sure to change his life.

Teacher's Favorite AU by @suitk0via

Pairing: Dad!Bucky x Teacher!Reader

Summary: You are first grade teacher and Bucky is a single dad who wants to be involved with everything his little girl - Elaine - does. He’s the dad all the parent’s and faculty drool over. You quickly become Elaine's favorite teacher and Bucky's just gotta meet you.

The Heart is a Deep Ocean by @dreamlessinparis

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: Titanic was known as the ship of dreams. For you, it was the dream of getting home, or so you thought. From the moment you locked eyes with James Buchanan Barnes, all those dreams changed and your life was never the same.

Something Domestic by @fandoms-writings

Pairing: ex-military amputee!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Needing an escape from the loud and busy city life, Bucky comes to stay with you on your little farm. He didn’t expect you, a hardworking and beautiful woman with struggles of your own, to take his breath away and make life a little less dreary.

Labyrinth by @frostironfudge

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader, (Modern AU)

Summary: labyrinth (noun), a complicated set of paths and passages, through which it is difficult to find your way. Bucky and You would do anything for Steve and Wanda, your respective best friends. In an attempt to avoid a tradition Steve and Wanda come up with a lie involving their best friends.  A lie, that involves building a labyrinth. Bucky and You begin to build but will you two find your way out or be caught in it?

nostalgia for the new by @real-jane

pairing: bucky barnes x female!reader shield agent

summary: bucky meets you because of your exquisite taste in music, and he finds in you a solace he didn't realize was possible. you create for bucky something he's never found before: nostalgia for a time that hasn't happened yet, and hope for a future where he might be loved.

The Thrill of the Hunt by @rookthorne

Pairing: Scare Actor!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

The ancient game of cat and mouse, a fight for survival between a predator and their prey, wasn’t a new phenomenon – it had been practised for centuries and it was an art that very, very few perfected. For years you had chased the craving to find someone that had mastered the art of the hunt, and for Halloween, you had gone all out and visited a haven unlike any other.  It was there that you found your match.  Cloaked in nothing but black and shrouded in a sense of lethality, you would have to run from this shadow in an adrenaline fuel haze unlike any other. A chase for the ages, the very one you desired.  And if he caught you, your world would end as you knew it.

Ongoing fics

Honey Girl by @violentdelightsandviolentends

Pairing: Dad'sBestFriend!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader - soulmate au

Summary: The Universe shows you your soulmate when it feels like you need them most. When you least expect it, you're given yours - Bucky Barnes. Your Dad's best friend. You can try to refuse it all you like; but the universe wants what it wants. There's no denying fate.

After all those years by @ziawbarnes

Pairing: AU Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Peggy and Steve's wedding in Mexico takes an unexpected turn when you and Bucky, who initially couldn't attend, end up joining the celebration. With no available rooms, Bucky becomes your roommate for ten days, leading to unexpected adventures and new connections.

Fresh Start by @nicoline1998enilocin (on hiatus but I love)

Pairing: Teacher!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Summary: In this universe you can explore the story between Bucky Barnes as a middle school teacher, and Y/N with her son Luca. They just moved to the other side of the country, and have decided to completely start over their lives. On the first day at his new school, Luca quickly befriends his new teacher, and Y/N can't help but take a liking to him as well.

A Past Encounter by @majesty-madness

Summary: Being in a relationship with Bucky, Y/N prided herself on knowing him quite well but when she’s accidentally teleported back to the 1940's, Y/N discovers that there is a whole other Bucky that she has yet to meet. The sweet flirt that had everything going for him before his unfortunate capture by HYDRA.

Neighbors by @writerlyhabits

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Summary: You get to know your neighbor across the hall, James.

Unexpected by @repressedqueen

Paring: SexWorker!Bucky x reader

Summary: After a crazy night out celebrating your birthday, somehow you ended up outside a brothel debating on whether it was time for you to finally have sex or not.

My Little Love by @crazyunsexycool

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced Fem! Reader

Dr. Feelgood by @endless-summer-soldier

pairing: Surgeon!Bucky x SurgicalIntern!Reader

summary: Y/N has a one night stand with a handsome stranger the night before starting her new job as a surgical intern. Little does she know, the handsome stranger also happens to be her new boss

Untitled Single Dad!Bucky Fic by @angie-likes-to-art

Pairing: Teacher!Reader x Single Dad!Bucky

Summary: You made a promise to yourself to not sleep with any parents before starting teaching, little did you know the guy you slept with two days before is the dad of your cutest student.

Too much love to choose from, here's some creators with masterlists you need to check out! ❤️‍🔥

@jobean12-blog

@navybrat817

@coffeecatsandcandles

@metalbuckaroo

@wkemeup

@nickfowlerrr

I love and appreciate all of you 💕 thank you for all your hard work 🥰

Happy Reading!

XO

(Dividers by saradika)

RECOMMENDATION LIST #2 CAN BE FOUND -> **HERE**

[lionlena]

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 12

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with  him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends  the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart…  She  runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard  again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees  Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from  this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58),  strong language, swearing, past trauma, bullying, attempted rape, memories of sexual abuse, unprotect p in v,  dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking, sexual harassment, women abuse, violence, injury, sickness, misunderstanding, breakdown

A/N: So, these were your decisions:

However, for people who still do not want to read the sex scene, the text will be marked in red.

Part 12

You always liked Christmas. You liked the Christmas atmosphere and searching and making gifts. Your heart always swelled with joy as you decorated the Christmas tree with your little boy. You were happy when you visited Anna and Toby just before or a few days after Christmas and they greeted you with sweet treats. And now it seemed like the holidays were going to be even better after Joel and Ellie joined your family. Not to mention that the Christmas holidays also took on new colors for Teddy. You saw him whispering with Ellie and Joel and you suspected it was about a gift for you. It was so sweet.

You had also started exchanging other things for gifts a few weeks earlier because that's how it worked in Jackson. People traded things for other items or small services.

You managed to get new colorful books for Teddy, one of them presented different breeds of horses in a humorous way. You found a hunting knife for Ellie. You knew Joel wouldn't be happy about this, but in the end, what mattered was her happiness. You made a warm scarf for Claudia in her favorite color. And you found new leather gloves for Joel. You knew it was something he would definitely come in handy on patrols.

But before Christmas, you realized that maybe you would be able to give him one more gift… Something more intimate.

It was like an epiphany. The kids decorated the Christmas tree with Joel. Teddy was in a mischievous mood and started wrapping his dad in Christmas chains. Joel laughed and started joking about being immobilized. And you just stood in the doorway with your eyes wide open. It was a missing piece that suddenly fell into place.

"Honey, help, please!" Joel's voice broke you out of your trance and you joined in their fun with a smile, but the sight of Joel tied up did not disappear from your mind.

A few days later, on Christmas morning, everyone got their presents. You were happy to see the joy on the faces of your loved ones. You haven't been forgotten either. The kids gave you horse-shaped cookies and a colorful bracelet, and Joel gave you a necklace with a horseshoe pendant. You were touched by their efforts.

The whole day passed in a joyful atmosphere. You went for a walk with the kids and took part in a big snowball fight in the middle of the city. To your surprise, even Joel joined. And of course, he was targeting Tommy and Ellie. It was adorable because he suddenly looked 20 years younger and you knew you would remember this sight forever.

In the evening you ate a delicious dinner, and when Teddy went to bed and Ellie was busy reading a book in her room, you finally decided to give a special gift to Joel.

He was sitting on the couch with a steaming mug of tea with honey and bourbon. You sat down next to him, holding your mug and the rectangular box in your hand. Joel raised his eyebrows.

"What's that?"

You set your mug on the coffee table and placed the box on his lap.

"Gift."

Joel followed you and set his cup down as well.

"I already got a gift from you and I am very pleased with it."

"I know but… it's something different… something special and I don't know if you'll agree to it."

You waked his curiosity and he couldn't help himself anymore and he opened the box. The contents of the box surprised him. Inside was a rope, a wide dark ribbon, and a key. Joel looked at you with a surprised puppy face.

"Sorry, baby, but I don't really know what to do with this. It's… really… interesting but…"

His attempts not to offend you were amusing. You couldn't help but peck him on the cheek.

"I'm already explaining everything to you. I accidentally realized what could help me break through my trauma and make love with you."

Joel gasped and sat up straight. You had his full attention.

"Oh…"

"You know, I'm most afraid of losing control… being vulnerable again… I know you've changed and I believe you won't take advantage of it, but it's stronger than me."

Joel grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing your fingers.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. I know I deserved this lack of trust… And I'm grateful to you for giving me a second chance."

He looked at the contents of the box again and slowly began to guess what you wanted to do.

"So, do you want to tie me up?"

When he said this, you couldn't help but blush.

"Only hands…"

"Okay. And this." He ran his fingers along the navy blue ribbon.

"To cover your eyes."

A smirk appeared on his face.

"This is getting interesting. And the key?"

"To an old house on the outskirts of town. I was borrowing it from Tommy. I told him we wanted to see the house because it was bigger and see if you could renovate it… But what I really wanted was for us to have a quiet place where we could hide out during the day "

Joel smiled widely and pulled you into his lap. You squealed in surprise but didn't mind. You sat up facing him and placed your hands on his strong shoulders.

"You have thought of everything, my Angel."

You smiled and felt his strong hands caress your hips.

"So you agree to this?" you asked shyly.

You weren't really sure if Joel would agree to give up his dominance. But looking at his satisfied face, you slowly gained hope.

"Of course, I agree. If it's something that will help you get over trauma, I agree with everything. It's something new for me but… I'm 100% for it."

You sighed in relief and leaned against his body. Joel kissed your temple and whispered:

"But remember, I don't want you to put pressure on yourself. I still stand by what I said. I love you whether we have sex or not."

His words filled you with peace. You leaned down and pressed your nose into his neck, inhaling his scent.

"I love you," you whispered and felt Joel hug you tighter.

Two days later, you and Joel agreed to meet at the old house at noon. Teddy was supposed to be with Claudia, Emily, and Rose until the evening, and Ellie would go about her business.

Joel had gone to the old house earlier, lit a fire in the living room, and spread blankets on the floor. He didn't want to tell you this so as not to upset you, but he felt as anxious as a teenager.

You were nervous too. Your heart was beating like crazy as you crossed the threshold and locked the door. You knew no one would disturb you there, but you wanted to be sure.

Joel immediately greeted you with a smile and walked over to you. He kissed your lips and helped you take off your jacket. He grabbed your hand and led you toward the fireplace.

You sat down on the blanket and took a deep breath.

"So, how do we start?"

Joel placed his large hand on your cheek.

"Slow down, Sweetheart. We have a few hours. Let's take our time."

Joel squeezed your hand comfortingly and murmured,

"I got the wine."

You smiled and nodded. You were glad that Joel was being responsible this time and he wasn't rushing to anything.

You sat next to each other on the floor, leaning on the couch. Joel handed you a glass of wine and kissed your temple.

"Is it warm enough?"

"Yes," you replied and took a sip of wine. The alcohol warmed you up even more.

The whole house was cold, but you were warm enough when you were this close to the fireplace.

After some time, you felt Joel's hand caressing your thigh. He did it gently and slowly and focused his full attention on your reaction.

Despite your initial tension, you slowly started to relax. Joel leaned down and started nibbling on your neck, and a soft sigh escaped your lips. Joel smiled and tightened his grip on your thigh.

"Is everything okay, Honey?"

You nodded even though you felt a little anxious and took a shaky breath. Joel sensed it immediately and moved his hand away.

"Do you want to tie my hands now?"

You were surprised by how willing he was to give you the power. You smiled and stroked his hair. You set your wine glasses aside.

"Can you lie on your back?"

Joel immediately obeyed your command as if you had some magical power over him.

You reached for the box that was still lying on the couch. Joel prepared everything. You pulled out the rope and Joel folded his hands over his chest.

He looked at you with excitement. He really liked your idea and that gave you confidence. You moved closer to him and tied his wrists together.

"Not too tight?" you asked with concern.

You didn't want your comfort to be discomfort for him. You believed that wasn't what love was about. You also didn't want to take revenge on him for what happened in Boston. This wasn't what your relationship was supposed to be built on.

"It's perfect, Darling," Joel replied with a smile to encourage you. "Continue…"

You smiled and started unbuttoning his shirt. You pulled the fabric up and kissed his belly. Joel growled quietly.

"God…"

You giggled quietly and did it again, deciding that it wouldn't hurt to tease him a little. Joel tensed his abdominal muscles and looked at you in awe.

His eyes were shining and for a moment you even regretted that you were going to cover them. You reached for a blindfold and wrapped it around his head.

You kissed his forehead and then whispered:

"Do you see anything?"

A shiver ran through his body as he felt your breath on his ear.

"Nothing…" He managed to croak out.

You smiled and looked at his pants, which already showed a bulge. Apparently, you've discovered some forgotten Joel’s fetish.

"All right." you purred and sat on his legs, then unzipped his fly and looked at his face. You grabbed his pants and the waistband of his boxers.

"Can I?"

Joel lifted his hips, giving you a clear signal to pull the fabric down.

"I beg you."

You giggled and with his help, you pulled down his pants and boxers.

Your eyes locked on his semi-hard cock. You swallowed and touched him, causing him to hiss softly.

You couldn't help yourself. You didn't really get a chance to look at him the first time.

Now you had plenty of time and full power, and that excited you. You felt yourself getting wet and you were filled with joy. Your plan worked. You felt no fear. You didn't panic. Joel was at your mercy and he liked it.

You supposed he could have freed his hands if he wanted to, but that was the point. Joel wanted your needs to be important, not his.

Before you could start touching him, you got up from his legs and took off your pants and panties.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"What do you think?"

"You're undressing… I heard the belt buckle… you know you have beautiful thighs…"

You rolled your eyes and you knelt by his hips. You grabbed his cock but he suddenly jumped.

"Wait!"

You looked at him in surprise and your heart skipped a beat. Has he changed his mind? He didn't want to give you control?

"You don't want to do this without preparation…"

You breathed a sigh of relief and your heart warmed with his concern.

"Don't worry… I'll get ready."

Joel groaned like a disgruntled puppy.

"Why should you do it alone when you have me…"

You frowned. Was Joel trying to change the rules of the game?

"Your hands are tied."

A deep chuckle escaped from his chest.

"But you didn't gag my mouth."

"What?"

If Joel wasn't wearing the blindfold, you'd see him looking at you with a look: Really?

"You don't mean to tell me that Steve has never eaten you."

At that moment, you were glad that Joel couldn't see your red face.

"He did, but never… in a position like this."

A sly smile appeared on his face.

"Then I'll do it even more willingly… come on, sweetie… don't be shy and sit on my face. You won't regret it."

His voice was dripping with lust and your breathing quickened. You felt that this way you would completely dominate him. It was too tempting not to take advantage of it.

Finally, you slowly knelt over his face with your knees on either side of his head. He placed his tied hands on your lower back and pushed you closer to him. You gasped at the moment his lips touched your slippery lips. His mouth immediately covered your pussy. His tongue began to circle your clit. You moaned softly and grabbed his hair. His stubble caused this burning, pleasant feeling on the inside of your thighs. Joel purred until you felt a vibration against your cunt. As his thick tongue pushed into you, you couldn't help but moan loudly. You began to move your hips, your clit rubbing against his curved nose that you had never been more grateful for. Joel devoured you like a hungry dog. Slurping sounds filled your ears.

"Ah… Joel… Joel!"

You arched your back, your thighs trembling, and your orgasm hit you with such force that you were afraid you were going to collapse all your weight on his face.

Joel smiled and slowly pulled his tongue out of you. He licked up your juices and kissed your thighs before helping you move aside.

You were so delighted that you leaned in and kissed him on the lips, tasting yourself. His hands tangled in your hair.

"Now… Now you're ready." he purred, not hiding the satisfaction in his voice.

It took you a moment to catch your breath, but you finally sat on his legs and wrapped your hand around his semi-hard, thick cock, and started stroking it, exploring every vein with your fingertips.

He squirmed and moaned. His cock was now standing proud and Joel hissed.

"Baby…" his voice was hoarse. "I don't want to spoil your fun, but if you don't stop… In a moment I won't be at your disposal anymore."

You giggled and hovered over him.

"I see. You've been waiting for this for a long time."

You slowly sat on his cock. You hissed, feeling that familiar burning sensation as he stretched you. You never forgot it… Although that memory was obviously negative. It was different now. Then in Boston, he was drunk and didn't care about your feelings or comfort. Now you were partners, two people with a strong bond.

Joel gasped and brushed his hands against your thighs.

"Ahhh… Baby… You're wonderful. You're the most wonderful woman in the whole damn world."

You smiled and placed your hands on his chest. Your hips moved up and down. You weren't in a hurry, you didn't have to. You were in complete control of everything and Joel didn't complain. You heard his deep growls and saw his breathing quicken. At that moment you felt something new… A new chapter in your relationship has opened. You trusted him.

When you felt yourself getting closer to your second orgasm, you moaned loudly and quickened your pace even more. Joel grabbed your thigh with his tied hands as much as he could. His grunts became even deeper. But at some point, he bit his lip, he was getting closer to coming, but he didn't want to do it before you… He couldn't.

But you didn't hold back. You reached between your legs with one hand and started rubbing your clit. Your moans became even louder.

"Ahhh! Ahhh… Honey!"

And so you reached your second climax. You collapsed onto his chest and Joel groaned softly.

"Y/n… Baby… I'm too close…"

Joel started moving his hips and you heeded his warning. The lack of condoms in the post-pandemic world sucked. You hadn't talked about this part of your relationship, but you both seemed to realize that it was too early to think about having a second child.

You slowly pulled out of him and laid down next to him. You decided to help him and grabbed his swollen, throbbing cock with your hand. Joel made an almost animalistic, primal sound. After fasting for so long, he didn't need much. Just a few movements of your hand was enough and he came, and gushing sperm covered his belly and reached his shirt.

While Joel was still breathing heavily, you couldn't help but start licking his skin.

"Jesus!"

His flaccid cock twitched even though there was no chance of it getting hard again.

You giggled and pulled away, once you had licked most of the semen off you looked at him with affection and started to untie his hands.

When his hands were finally free, Joel immediately removed the blindfold. His eyes had to get used to the light again, but he still looked at you with admiration and devotion.

"Hi…" he croaked and brushed his hand against your cheek. "I missed your beautiful face."

You smiled and placed your head on his chest. His hand started stroking your back.

"Did you like it?" you asked and looked into his eyes.

You didn't need a verbal response. It was enough for his lips to curve into a wide smile and his eyes to sparkle.

"That was amazing…" His hand started caressing your hip. "But the more important question is, did you like it? Was everything okay?"

You snuggled closer to his body. His concern only proved to you how much he had changed since Boston.

"Yes. I'm fine. I feel very good… Do you think we can do it this way for now?"

You felt a little uneasy asking about it again. You didn't know if Joel would consider tying his hands a one-time thing.

Joel nodded and kissed your head.

"Of course, Sweetheart. I'm proud of you for fighting your trauma… We will do everything slowly. At your pace and on your terms."

His words were like a soothing balm for your soul.

You closed your eyes, listening to his heartbeat.

"Maybe next time we'll try without the blindfold?"

Joel also closed his eyes and smiled. He pulled you closer to him.

"Whatever you want. With or without a blindfold. It doesn't matter to me as long as you feel safe and comfortable with me."

You took a deep breath and felt sleepy. The fire was still burning in the fireplace, Joel's body was warm, and his voice sounded like a lullaby. You yawned and murmured sleepily:

"Can we take a nap?"

Joel chuckled quietly. He found you so cute when you were sleepy.

"I'd love to take advantage of this opportunity. We still have a few hours."

Joel covered you both with a blanket and buried his face in your hair. It wasn't long before you were both dozing off. *

The next day, when you were driving together to Anna and Toby, you had a blissful smile on your faces. You kept glancing at each other. Whenever your horse rode next to Joel's horse, he immediately placed his hand on your thigh.

You two heard a long groan behind you.

"There are children here."

Joel laughed and rolled his eyes. He looked at Ellie, who was riding with Teddy.

"You keep saying you're an adult. So just one kid and…" Joel smirked and placed his hand on your hip. "We're just showing affection. It's nothing bad."

Ellie snorted.

"Yeah, right… That's why you've been so happy since yesterday. Find a room."

Teddy started laughing happily.

"Ellie, Daddy, and Mommy have their own room at Grandpa's."

Ellie patted his head.

"You'll understand when you get older."

You looked at them and smiled. You loved the little fights between the teenage girl and Joel and the way Ellie took care of Teddy.

Suddenly Joel stopped your horses and you looked at him in surprise. You were practically at Anna and Toby's house. But when you realized what it was about, your heart trembled. From a distance, it was obvious that something was wrong. There was a trail of blood in the snow leading to an open door. The front windows were broken.

You didn't think much, your instincts just kicked in. You jumped off your horse and shouted:

"Anna, Tob…"

Joel was equally fast. He grabbed you from behind and pressed his hand to your mouth.

"Shhh…" he growled. "We don't know who is there."

You looked at him with tears in your eyes. You realized he was right. Your behavior was irrational. You nodded and he released you.

Meanwhile, Ellie was hugging the worried little boy. Joel walked up to her and gave her the reins of his horse.

"Hide among the trees."

Teddy looked at him and whimpered.

"Where are the grandparents?"

Joel wanted to hug him, but instead, he rubbed his shoulder soothingly and said sympathetically,

"Don't worry, 'bear cub'. Me and mom will check everything."

Joel tried to stay calm even though he suspected the worst.

He walked up to you and handed you his handgun while he took the shotgun.

"You're following me. If something goes wrong, you jump on your horse and you all run back to Jackson. Without turning back. You understand!"

His voice was so stern and commanding that all you could do was nod and hold back the tears that wanted to escape from your eyes.

Joel sighed, he didn't want to be so hard on you. He cupped your head in one hand and kissed your forehead.

"Okay. Let's go."

Slowly, tense, and focused, you approached the house. The surroundings seemed deserted. You felt your heart in your throat. You glanced at the open door and the trail of blood leading into the house. You heard Joel's voice:

"I'll check the house…"

When he disappeared into the house, you had the impression that time stopped. You felt fear and despair wash over you. Anna and Toby were like parents to you. You couldn't lose them like this. Tears began to flow down your cheeks.

Finally, Joel left. He still looked focused and ready to fight.

"Nothing," he muttered.

"What?" you croaked.

Joel stepped closer and wiped away your tears with his thumb.

"No one is there. There are no bodies… Someone must have been there… The house looks ransacked, but… Anna and Toby may still be alive."

You felt the world spinning around you. You didn't know if it was all real or if you were stuck in some nightmare.

"What happened here?"

Your question hung unanswered in the frosty air.

Taglist: @casa-boiardi @noisynightmarepoetry @ihavetwoholesforareason @sloanexx @creedslove @orcasoul @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @i-workwithpens @milla-frenchy @liatome @jojo-munson @pascalislove @goldenhxurs @elliaze @aestheticangel612 @cheyxfu @prestinalove @stevengmybeloved @faith-alons26 @harriedandharassed @this--is--music @joeldjarin @elliaze @ajeff855 @anislabonis-love @quality-lust @sarahhxx03 @sofiparallel @misshoneypaper @simplyreading96 @ilovetaquitosmmmm @softstarlite @missladym1981 @heartpascalispunk @brujademente @littleshadow17 @emmathetrash

Pernament tag list: @harriedandharassed

Yes, I know, this cliffhanger is… Ugh… But I promise that this time the next chapter will appear much faster so I won't leave you in suspense for a long time.

Part 11

Part 13

[whichwitchami]

This is a Sigyn appreciation post

per a conversation with @hiddenhearthwitch yesterday, I felt there needed to be more Sigyn appreciation here on Tumblr (within the Norse Pagan community as a whole)

There's so much talk of Loki and his confinement, his role in the bringing of Ragnarok etc. Loki deserves the spotlight.

But there's not enough talk of Sigyn. About how we know little to nothing of her except her devotion and dedication to her family. Can we please appreciate the heartbreak and physical pain she must be experiencing?

To recap: Loki's punishment for killing Baldur is to be bound by a chain made from the entrails of his son with a snake above his head dripping poison onto him. Sigyn then dutifully stands there, holding a bowl to catch the poison, only leaving to empty the bowl and return to her husbands side.

Her arms have to be killing her. Her legs must want to give out at some point. She's enduring so much physical discomfort to give Loki a scrap of comfort in his torment. Not to mention the emotional/ mental trauma of having her own child's entrails be what binds her husband, and having to hear Loki's screams when she has no choice but to leave his side for a moment.

Some would probably say Sigyn is doing this because she's 'traditional' where a wife has to stay by her husband's side no matter what. I think its more about her own love though. In my experience working with the Norse Pantheon, there's a ton of agency and advocacy for setting boundaries from the Gods, which leads me to believe Sigyn absolutely could walk away if she wanted to. She's not held down by 'tradition'.

I think she stays out of love, out of a devotion so deep it's painful, and nearly impossible to understand. Who can fathom putting yourself through such physical and emotional pain to protect your loved ones? She's choosing to stand there, to save Loki from as much pain as she can spare him from, because every drop she collects is a moment of reprieve in his torment.

I think the only way she endures is through nostalgia, as Faye eloquently put it "the kid you get enraptured in and it feels so beautiful and then suddenly there's a pang in your chest and you're at a loss for words"

How can Sigyn endure the physical and emotional pain? She dissociates. She has to. In my belief she handles everything by disappearing in her mind to simpler times, to remembering the beauty of her life with her loved ones before everything went to shit. It doesn't matter to her why things went to shit, or whose to blame for it. What matters is things suck, her husband is in pain, and she loves him so much she'll do anything she can to help him.

Maybe she should walk away, but at the end of the day its her choice, and I think there's something hauntingly beautiful about making the choice to stay.

If you want to understand the kind of nostalgia, listen to this song and picture Sigyn holding the bowl, trying not to show her own pain while she remembers lying in a warm sunny field, enjoying a simple, peaceful moment in a different time.

Just, show her some love, because she's giving everything she has to Loki, and she's doing it because she loves him.

[one-of-tankhuns-neurons]

I cannot let this show go without writing my goodbyes... Deep Night Final EP

Deep night was everything and more. It was a show that was made with insane love, thought and care and it fucking shows. That loves shines through the screen and it is GUARANTEED to warm your cold dead heart. Cheewin has always made his shows a bit more grounded, a bit more queer, a bit more real. Since YYY you can just tell there's someone in the crew that understands queer experience and this was it again. The good parts, the sad parts, the struggle without exploting it for pity. It showcased confusion and acceptance and love and love and love. So many different kinds of love.

Wela and Khemtid

These two developed so beautifully, from people who misunderstood eachother, to people who felt attracted to each other but still didn't get it, to people who listened, apologized, leaned on, supported, loved, cared for eachother. Khemtid's enchantment with wela blossomed after they fought about Wela's job, he realized that acceptance was the better route to take and he just worked hard to get it right, to make up for it, to help. Wela at the same time tried so hard as well to understand Khem's feelings, making it easier for them to reach the middle ground. He worked so hard with Khem to keep the club afloat, he was never mean to his coworkers, he carried the whole world on his back and still stood proud. They went from strangers to these two adorable dorks who hold hands and smile while kissing. I'm sorry but Khemtid smiling like he just won the world while giving his injured bboyfriend a handjob at the back of the club made my heart burn. That's complicity and partnership and mischief and intimacy. They stand on equal ground and that's so meaningful to me.

Then we have these three dorks

The true rivals to lovers. I talked about this in my previous Deep Night post but it was brilliant. Their storyline developed so subtly and naturally I cried last week. The way Japan and Ken's love bloomed out of love for Seiji... like it's not that they're just dating Seiji, they're dating eachother and that comes from a trust that developed from and understanding, that grew from care into desire. Last week's episode showing Japan as the center of his fantasy showed that, Japan is also attracted to Ken, and Ken's heart has melted for Japan as well, unknowingly. The talk they had was so necessary, so respectful and rooted on concern and an actual attempt to build something that left no one out. Seriously the way they're sitting in the end, with Ken brushing Japans hand, the way Japan held Ken's hand and brought him into the hug to welcome him, to shelter him. I love that it wasn't fetishized. (Because we've tackeled threesomes before in other shows but not romantic love) I love them, they love each other, this is healing.

Freya and Meiji

They are EVERYTHING. Honestly the role of women, specifically queer women in queer spaces has been overlooked for way too long. They take on the role of caring, protecting and supporting the whole club, the boys themselves and themselves. The fact that Freya's character was divorced and was constantly under attack from her ex-husbands family now existing with a same-sex partner was so complex yet beautifuly handled. Meiji was not just some random chic they threw in to gay it up, she was important to Freya, she helped at the club, she wasn't much around but when she was on screen she was Freya's rock. The talk on age... bro that shook me to the bone. Media is so focused on youth their questioning was so valid and so painful to watch... but it healed. Fuck I'm crying watching this. Everyone deserves to be loved by THEMSELVES.

Khem and Freya

gET TF OUT I WANT TO BE ALONE this mother-son relationship was amazing. Both characters grew so much out of love for each other I want to swallow a shotgun. The was it was alway Freya trying to gain Khemtids approval was so heartbreaking, and watching Khemtid LEARN to accept and love his mom, accept and love the club, accept and love the role they play... fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK

Also we cannot forget Dai

I don't even have words to explain how great this character was. Outfits on point, personality strong and unmoving, loud and authentic and accepted and part of everything and capable and necessary and just EVERYTHING. And the fact that Dai was perceived as a potential love interest for Freya without it being a joke or mockery was gold. Apart from that, all of these characters and storylines are interwoven in a net of complexity, social norms, real struggles but also real coping mechanisms. I also want to LOUDLY RECOGNIZE the work put into it, as they all worked hard to actually get on stage and perform acrobatics like their characters. There was just so much attention to detail and to making things right I want to cry just thinking about it. Please please please if you havent... Watch it. It may not be revolutionary but it's perfect to me. Deep night is a very queer show that decided to open a lot of wounds just to let them heal properly. THANK YOU DEEP NIGHT. I expected nothing from you and you're now part of me.

[stephstars08]

Falling For Him

Neteyam x Metkayina!Reader

Warnings: Reader has traumatic past, Death, Depression, Anxiety, Some Angst, Some Fluff, Reader has Thanatophobia (Fear of losing someone), Weapons, and Possible Grammar Errors. (Sorry if I forgot anything)

Summary: Y/N biggest fear is losing someone she love or cares about. So when the Sully family comes Y/N immediately connects with the eldest Sully child, Neteyam. She knows that she’s falling for him but that fear of losing him is holding her back.

Word Count: 1,396

Author’s Note: My first Neteyam story is finally here! Sorry for the long wait!! Sorry that this is short. I’m just getting back into writing so my first couple of stories will probably be shorter than usual. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy and don’t be shy to let me know what you all think!

Y/N at just fifteen years old has a heartbreaking life. Y/N is Na’vi and was born into the Metkayina clan. For the first five years of her life, Y/N had a life just like every Metkayina kid. That’s until a tragedy changed her whole life forever. Her parents died in a fire when she was just five years old. Their Marius had caught fire killing both of her parents. Y/N’s father was the one that got her out of their home. When her father went back in to go get save her mother their Marius collapsed. No one knows how the Marius caught fire but Y/N still has hope that some day she’ll know what exactly happened.

After the loss, Y/N was adopted by Ronal and Tonowari who are the Tsahík and Olo’eyktan of the Metkayina clan. Y/N fit in well with their family. She grew extremely close with Tsireya.

When the Sully family came Y/N helped Tsireya and her brothers show the Sully kids the Metkayina ways and culture. While Tsireya helped Lo’ak and A’onung and Rotxo helped Kiri and Tuk, Y/N helped Neteyam who is the eldest child of the Sully’s.

When Y/N’s blue eyes first met Neteyam’s yellow eyes she felt something go through her body that she has never felt before. When she was showing him how to connect and ride an ilu every time their hands would brush up against one another’s Y/N would feel her heart race.

These new feelings have been terrifying for Y/N. After losing her parents at such a young age her biggest fear is losing someone else that she loves and cares for. That’s why the only Na’vi she has a close bond with is Tsireya. She’s the Na’vi she truly trusts. Neteyam has been nothing but kind to Y/N and she does feel like she can trust him but that fear of losing him is what’s holding her back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N was in her Marius gathering some fishing spears. She had three that were different lengths. The biggest one is the one she uses the most and it was also her father’s as well.

Tsireya walked into the Marius. “What are you doing?” Tsireya asked her in a curious tone. “I told Neteyam how my dad taught me how to use a fishing spear so he asked me if I could teach him.” Y/N answered rolling the three spears up into a small blanket. “I’ve noticed that you two have been getting along really well.” Tsireya said with a smile. Y/N just gave her a shrug which wiped the smile off Tsireya’s face.

“What’s wrong? Do you not like Neteyam?” Tsireya asked with concern in her voice. “I like him.” Y/N told her. “But?” Tsireya asked sensing that there is more. “I feel like I….ya know.” Y/N said looking up at her Tsireya. She just couldn’t find the right words but Tsireya knew what she meant since that smile returned. “Aw, Do you have a crush on Neteyam?” Tsireya asked with in awe as she sat down on the floor next to her. “It’s not so simple or easy for me to answer that.” Y/N told her looking away from her. “Because you’re scared that if you admit it, you’ll lose him.” Tsireya said knowing right away what Y/N is talking about. Y/N just gave her a nod.

“Can I give you some advice?” Tsireya asked her. Y/N gave her another nod as she looked up at her. “I know you’re biggest fear is losing someone but don’t you think that Neteyam deserves to know how you feel about him?” Tsireya asked looking at her with a soft look in her eyes. “It’s better for him to know than to never know.” Tsireya added.

Y/N knew that Tsireya was right. No matter what happens it’s better to be honest about how she feels. “You’re right. Thank you, Tsireya” Y/N said as her lips turned up into a small smile. “You’re welcome. You know that I’m always going to be here for you.” Tsireya said as she brought Y/N in for a hug which Y/N returned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N was on the sand with Neteyam. After Y/N showed Neteyam how to hold the spear she drew a target in the sand. Y/N had Neteyam start with the training spear which wasn’t as long as the one she uses. After he hit the target easily with the training spear she gave him a different on which was three lengths longer than the training one. Neteyam did even better so she gave him the one she uses which again is three lengths longer. But this spear wasn’t as easy as the other spears since Neteyam was having trouble hitting the bullseye.

Y/N could tell that Neteyam was getting frustrated so she suggested that they take a break. They took a seat down next to each other in the sand.

“How did you get your spear?” Neteyam asked her in a curious tone. “It was my father’s. He made it himself.” Y/N answered as she stared down at her hands that were resting on her lap.

“Thank you for being so nice to my family and I.” Neteyam told her with a soft smile. “You’re welcome.” Y/N said looking up at him returning the soft smile. As Y/N’s blue eyes stared deep into Neteyam’s yellow eyes they started to lean into one another until Y/N suddenly pulled back and away from him.

“I’m sorry! I just got caught up.” Neteyam apologized quickly. “It’s okay Neteyam.” Y/N reassured him. “It’s not you, it’s me.” Y/N added which confused him. “What do you mean?” Neteyam asked her. “I do like you Neteyam and I am falling for you but since the loss of my parents I’m always scared that I’m going to go through that pain again. That’s why I distant myself and hide my feelings for everyone.” Y/N explained to him.

She could feel tears forming in her eyes so she looked away from him. “Tsireya told me that I should be open to you but it’s just going to take me time to open up since I’ve been holding in my feelings for a long time.” Y/N told him. Neteyam used one of his hands to pick her head up so she was looking back at him. She had some tears rolling down her face. “Then we can take it slow.” Neteyam told her. “I’m falling for you, too. But I don’t want to rush you into anything.” Neteyam added as he put his hand onto her cheek.

He wiped her tears away with his thumb. Y/N felt that familiar feeling in her chest from his touch. His touch made her feel safe and warm. “Do you want to take it slow?” Neteyam asked her in a curious tone. Y/N smiled as she nodded her head. “I want to take it slow.” Y/N said which made Neteyam smile.

“Neteyam!” They heard a familiar voice call out. When Y/N and Neteyam looked over they saw Lo’ak and Kiri walking towards them. Lo’ak was the one that called out to Neteyam. “Woah, are we interrupting something here?” Kiri asked referring to Neteyam’s hand on Y/N’s cheek. Neteyam quickly took his hand off Y/N’s cheek. “No!” Neteyam and Y/N said at the same time. “Sure doesn’t seem like it.” Lo’ak said in a teasing tone which made Neteyam roll his eyes in annoyance.

“Why are you two here?” Neteyam asked his siblings with annoyance in his voice. “Mom and Dad want us to come home and eat.” Kiri told him. “Okay.” Neteyam said as he stood up. “Do you want to finish this training session tomorrow?” Y/N asked standing up onto her feet. “Sounds good to me.” Neteyam told her with a smile. “See you tomorrow.” Neteyam added. “See you tomorrow.” Y/N said with a big smile on her face. She’s hasn’t smiled that big in a very long time. “See you around Y/N!” Kiri said in a kind tone and walked away with her brothers.

Y/N gave the Sully kids a wave and then gathered her spears together and wrapped them back up in her blanket. She picked the blanket up and made her way back to her Marius.

It felt so good for her to finally confess her feelings for Neteyam. She is so excited to continue Neteyam’s spear training tomorrow.

[illitfiction]

AFTER SO LONG | JOTARO KUJO (PART 1)

⋆𐙚₊˚ premise: you didn't expect to see him on your way to work, after leaving you and your two girls without saying much.

⋆𐙚₊˚ tags: stone ocean timeline. 6taro + afab reader. slight angst, family trope, possible positive ending.

For as long as you can remember, your life has always been a bizarre journey.

It’s been a long time since you travelled around the globe and all the adventures you’ve gone through. After those memories you’ve made, you decide to settle for a normal life after fighting Dio with your friends that you’ve met along the way. That’s how you met Jotaro Kujo in those long years. 

You and Jotaro were still young and had dreams after the battles. It took a while adjusting to normal life, normal routine with remembrances of friends that have passed and hellish fights that no teenagers should ever face. But the two of you manage alright; you went to mortuary school, and Jotaro pursued studying marine biology in the States. 

Your feelings for Jotaro, that was once platonic, blossomed into love for him. He also reciprocates your feelings and when you’re both eighteen, the two of you settle to be together. Getting married at aged twenty-one whilst working on both degrees respectively. It wasn’t easy managing different responsibilities in both your life as students, young married couple and parents to two little girls within a short period of time. 

You would do anything for your eldest and your youngest. Fight against the world to protect them as your motherly instinct resides in you the moment they were born. Jolyne and Joanna, born a year apart from each other, are your whole world. You raise them both together on your own, and in the beginning of your motherhood, you were okay with the arrangement since Jotaro needed to finish his studies before working on his doctorate. 

But after that, Jotaro rarely sticks around. 

He only visits you, Jolyne and Joanna sometimes for a few days before he’s off again overseas. Jotaro becomes distant to his family and that’s what you fear the most. This occurrence isn’t good for anyone, and you know that, especially for your girls. They always ask whereabouts about their father, why is Jotaro constantly away and they rarely get to see him. You would take a bullet for your daughters without hesitation, always. It’s heartbreaking to hear it every time from them how upset that their father is rarely in their lives. 

And you know deep down that Jotaro would feel something for the family. You know he cares about them and you too, but sadly, he never changed and improved his relationship with the girls and even with you. It created ripples of rocky relationships and you weren’t sure that if it’s something you’re willing to live on most of your life.

Settling for divorce with Jotaro is never easy. Breaking the news to Jolyne and Joanna after that is the most painful thing you had to do. You know that they’re suffering once you broke the news. When their faces crumple into mixtures of anguish and disbelief, you wonder if you’re doing the right thing. You still think of it to this day, sometimes with regrets and sometimes with acceptance.

Despite the rocky few years of the girls’ childhood, your bond with Jolyne and Joanna is unbreakable. The girls are your whole world, watching them grow up together. As a single mother, there are challenges you had to deal with that you did whatever you could. Jolyne gets into fights and trouble, Joanna is so silent you worry about her well-being sometimes. You worry about both your girls most of the time. Without another parental figure besides yourself to be an exemplary role model to them… without Jotaro’s help… you find things on your own just difficult. 

You think about Jotaro all the time. After the divorce, things hadn’t been easy. In the earliest beginning of your life as a single mother, you wanted to hate him for leaving. Hated how easily he agreed to sign the divorce settlement and disappear without saying much. Why couldn’t he put his family first before anything else? The two of you have been through a lot together… So why did he leave so easily? 

You wonder if it hurt Jotaro as much as it hurt you. 

So when an unfamiliar car is parked at the bus stop you frequently wait, and the driver opens the door on the other side, you see him right in front of you. Your heart drops a little. 

“We need to talk,” Jotaro’s stoic expression matches the sedate tone of his. 

You frown and close your eyes for brief moments, slowly exhaling out through your nose and mouth. The memory stills fresh and though wounds have healed, there are still invisible scars from all that’s happened. He shows up across from you after five years. You dreamt of this moment, but now it leaves an unpleasant taste on your tongue. “I have to go to work.” 

Jotaro looks at you; properly looks in your direction when he lifts his head so that the cap no longer hides his eyes. Those stern, green eyes you’ve always remembered. You look into those eyes so many times — in Jotaro and in Jolyne and Joanna — and the resemblance strikes so much. “I’ll drive you to the hospital. We can talk on the way.”

There’s no point arguing with him and you enter Jotaro’s car without saying another word to him. A quiet car ride with him isn’t an ideal start of a long night shift of your workday. The journey feels stretched in the car from your bus stop to the hospital. And when you see the view of a familiar building at the window, the car doesn’t stop and instead, slowly rides by the side of the road in front of the neighbouring shops and buildings. You glare at Jotaro with a raised brow. 

“We should eat first, then talk.” He says. “It’s still early.” 

It’s only eleven-thirty in the morning. Around this time, you would have an early lunch before starting your work shift starting at one in the afternoon. Jotaro couldn’t have known this, but the lineup of this coincidence is too close for your comfort. You wanted to ask him how he would know about this routine of yours, but decide to withdraw yourself from speaking unnecessarily.  

Eating outside is certainly cheaper than eating in the hospital’s cafeteria (despite you working there). You and Jotaro eat lunch at a Japanese restaurant, order something and not long after, the food arrives. The two of you eat in silence and it brings you back memories of your younger days. Memories of eating food together with him surfaces and have your heart aching a little. You eat with him a lot during your college days.  

You take a peek of Jotaro through your lashes. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen him and although he’s still as aloof and quiet, Jotaro has certainly gone older like you do. You’re both in your early forties with demanding careers. He still wears that cap and long overcoat that’s now eggplant colour instead of black and grey tones. His hair is much shorter and tidier. He’s still a six-foot-five colossal figure, though still large yet is slimmer than you last remembered. 

When you look at him, you see that resemblance to Jolyne and Joanna in him again. They are his daughters, after all. 

“You said you wanted to talk about something.” You begin, and it’s a sentence longer than you initially wanted to say to him. “So, talk.” 

Jotaro stays quiet at that moment, settling down the chopsticks on the table. Digging his hands in his pocket, he leans back in his seat, and you weren’t able to see expression in his eyes. “Did you give the lockets I told you about to Jolyne and Joanna?”

He’s referring to the accessory that the girls have possessed since they were little. You know what’s inside them; a picture of you and him when you were both still young, then a picture of the girls. Jolyne’s locket has a picture of Joanna, whilst Joanna has a picture of Jolyne in hers. 

“I send it to the prison centre along with Jolyne’s things. So, she’ll have it.” You said. “Joanna still has hers, though I doubt she carries it all the time.”

Jotaro frowns, “she should start carrying it with her at all times.” 

Your forehead creases more, unable to figure out where the conversation is leading to. “What’s the meaning of this, Jotaro? Why are you here?” Why are you bargaining into our lives like this?

Another silence from Jotaro again gives you the hint that he most likely will not tell you his reasons, or at least, what you wish to hear. You give out a hopeless, soft snort and shake your head, looking down at your lap. So much has changed, yet remains quite the same. 

Your brain moves like moving gears, trying to figure out Jotaro, understanding him. You have questions you want to ask him. As much as a part of you wants to be angry at him, another part wants you to know from him if he’s doing okay. Jotaro talks when necessary and it’s something that you’ve known for a long time. And you’re no ordinary person and ex-wife; you’ve gone through the same experience as he did. If there’s something dangerous that Jotaro knows and you know, then he must have a reason he doesn’t speak about it. 

“Jolyne’s imprisonment was a setup.” 

You shoot your head up to look at him. The confession has you on guard and fidgety, but you remain calm to let him explain. “It was all a plan; from the incident with Jolyne’s boyfriend to the judge’s decision at the hearing, it’s all a setup.” 

“But why? I don’t…” Your eyes weaver. There must be a bigger picture you’re not insightful of since you, Joanna, and Jolyne live quite a peaceful life. Jolyne’s delinquent behaviour wasn’t to an extreme that she made enemies that could plot everything that fell into place. A set up … if Jolyne had already fallen into someone’s trap plan, then Joanna would meet a similar fate too… 

Jotaro looks at you silently, knowing that you’re using your perception to make sense. It’s the thing that he admires about you, but of course, he doesn’t tell you that. Even though you’re more than capable of fighting for your own, he still worries. He thought he severed his ties from fighting enemy Stand Users. But evil never rests, huh? And even when DIO is long gone, other enemies similar to him are still in the shadows. 

“So the past is catching up,” he hears you say. “I suppose you have a plan?” 

Jotaro only shrugs his shoulders. “Leave this out with me.” 

You frown so many times within the past hour today. Provocation rises in you as you glower at him. How does he expect you to sit back knowing that your daughters are in grave danger? “Have you forgotten that I have a Stand?” 

To this, White Priestess appears at your side. No one in the restaurant can see the ghostly-like female figure, but only you and Jotaro can. Priestess has respectful abilities of her own with enhancing powers that ties to the seven senses better than humans. You haven’t used her in a fight for a long time after deciding to retire from being a Stand User fighter. You keep quiet about Priestess from Jolyne and Joanna, despite believing that there’s a chance they develop their own Stands in the future. It runs in the Kujo-Joestar bloodline and it also runs in you. 

Star Platinum — Jotaro’s Stand — appears beside him. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen Star and the Stand is still the same as ever. Priestess and Star look at each other with the same intensity as you and Jotaro are. 

“Jotaro, how long have you known? Why didn’t you tell me in the first place?” 

“It’s my problem and mine alone,” he says again. “This doesn’t concern you.” 

“I’m their mother,”

“And I’m their father,” 

“You haven’t really been that long of a figure.” 

If Jotaro is shocked by your outburst, his facial expression differs otherwise. He’s stoic, unfazed, and meanwhile, you feel nauseous to your stomach, like bile in your taste buds at what you just said to him. Did you say it stems from your protectiveness over your daughters as their mother? Or did you say it partly because of how easily Jotaro agrees to the divorce, and he’s now coming to your life like you’ve always hoped for? That closure you needed, but a harsh one to be jabbing at him.

Good grief, you imagine that’s what is going through his head right now. You almost want to smile at it. 

“I understand that you’re hurt, but this is something I should be the one telling them the truth.” Jotaro speaks up when you look away from him.

You remain quiet and look anywhere else but him. You suppose that this is him redeeming himself and making it right. The thought of it warms your heart a little, knowing that he will always care for those he protects. 

Jotaro asks the whereabouts of Joanna and you tell him she’s studying at her college library. “Okay,” he nods. “It’s almost one, I’ll walk you to the hospital.” 

You still don’t know what he’s planning, knowing where Joanna is. Your hunch tells you that Jotaro would come for her, and then Jolyne. You don’t think you told him that Joanna is studying biochemistry to be a forensic scientist, but maybe… Joanna would have told him. 

The two of you leave the restaurant and walk on the pavement towards the hospital. It’s been a while since you walked side-by-side with Jotaro. The view of the building is at sight, but you don’t feel ready to part away just yet. 

“Hey,” Jotaro’s rough and aloff voice catches your attention. When you turn, you see that he’s a few steps away from you. It seems like whatever he needed to say to you has been settled. “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings in those times. Be careful.” 

You only nod your head slowly, still unsure of what to say to him. Even when you gaze away from him for a moment, he doesn’t stop looking at you. When you say nothing more to him, he takes the sign to make his leave. 

“Jotaro,” you realised what you’ve said. His back is still facing you and you’re thankful that he did, or else he would see your reaction. There’s so many things that you haven’t said to him, so many unresolved closures. You… you miss him. You obviously do. After all, he’s still the man you share your past with, creating Jolyne and Joanna in both your happiest days. Jotaro leads a tough life and… you now understand and accept his reasons for going along with the divorce. 

You shake your head, “it’s nothing. Just be careful.” 

Jotaro continues walking away, and for a moment, you stop to watch him go. Emotions are rising in you, but in the end, you hold yourself back and let him be. You have a working day that you have to face through. And as you walk towards the main entrance and watch the glass doors slide open, you’re ready to set in when something stops in your tracks. 

You let out a soft gasp and your eyes widened when something warms your left cheek. At the corner of your eye, you swear you see Star Platinum right on the corner of your eye with a gentle “ora ora ” noise before he disappears. You turn around, knowing that Jotaro is still somewhere close by outside. 

You’re not sure what it means, but it makes your heart swell and flutter like how you used to feel back when you were younger. Your phone beeps in your coat pocket and when you pull it out, there’s a message notification on your screen. Your heart does another somersault leap.

Jotaro Kujo: I’ll see you around again.

THANK YOU FOR READING! DONATIONS OR GIFTS ARE WELCOME.

[duchezss]

All my favorite moments in blue beetle: a very long and silly list because this is my new fav movie ever (latinos on top fr)

The fact that the entire movie is low key a representation of how lost people can feel after they finish college and don't know what to do with their life.

How celebrated it is that Jaime is a first gen college student

As much as I loved him being from el paso, I love that he now gets his own city that it still deeply rooted in latino culture

How despite the fact that everything is going bad for the family, Jaime still tries to keep moral up and be positive

Jaime stands up for Jenny without thinking

How his persistence is what ends him landing up with the scarab, and subsequently keeping it out of victorias hands

Am I allowed to say his entire family? The scene where they're all pushing him to open to the box was so funny. Their dynamic felt so real, and it makes even more sense because apparently any time they were bickering it was improv.

How well the movie handled micro-aggressions against latinos. Like the receptionist didn't even attempt Jaime name, and how Victoria would never get her scientist's name right. They are subtle, but very real problems.

Maybe this was just me, but from the trailers I thought Jenny and Jaime already new each other, but I liked that they just met. It made their story more interesting.

The body horror route they decided to take with the suit was so cool.

The suit in general. I missed practical suits so much, and it just looked so amazing.

Another thing, that has already been talked about a lot but idc, is that I still am so in love that his family knows from the get go. Of course it wasn't really his choice, but I love how there is never any big secret, and they are constantly in the picture.

I know the Khaji-Da doesn't have as much personality compared to the comics, but the whole sequence where Jaime first gets the suit was so funny.

Notoriously in the comics the beetles were sent out to worlds to be the harbingers for their creator species to invade said world. I loved the small detail in the intro of the blue beetle crashing into the green beetle and then having a flash of electricity. I wonder if that was to hint at a malfunction, since the Khaji-Da never goes to evil with Jaime.

I love Rudy's truck. It's stupid but that's why it's so good.

The whole family debrief was was funnier than it should've been, and the beetle on Jaime spine looked wicked as well.

I thought it was interesting how much of a presence Ted Kord had on the movie, mainly because. of Jenny, but it was still there.

Every. Single. Latino. Reference. I could barely keep up there were so many good ones omg, the details were amazing.

For Jenny being an original character I thought she was done very well

I love how Rudy was useful and basically got them into kord industries.

I love the way we only see Jaime eyes in the suit. It's a different approach to what we've seen with masked heroes so far and I love it

How much they talked about the first two blue beetles, I thought adding that context made it better

They made it very evident how lonely Jenny feels, and I think her small emotional moments really paid off in the end.

I love how Jaime was so openly affectionate with both Rudy and his father, it's something uncommon with men in latino cultures and I loved seeing it.

The entire sequence where Jaime's house was being raided was so uncomfortable. And it was in moments like this were I thought Soto did a great job of weaving real world problems latinos face within a superhero movie.

The moment when Jaime's father had a heart attack, and Jaime was being dragged away, and his sister was screaming was just so heartbreaking and powerful. All of them were hurting so much.

I loved how active his family was, and how all of them immediately went to go rescue him.

Side note: the bug ship looked so cool and goofy and I loved it so much

How Jose was actually very curious about Jaime's connection to the beetle, but Victoria didn't care

The whole dream scene with Jaime and his father. I thought it perfectly mirrored their conversation from the beginning of the movie, and I thought it was incredibly moving. Not to mention I loved the detail of Jaime wearing the last outfit he saw his father in.

I loved that Jaime saved himself, but that his family greatly aided him. I thought it was a great metaphor for the fact that you can do things on your own, but having support can really make the difference

I thought it was so funny that Jaime absolutely refused to kill, and his family members did it was a smile on their face lmaoo.

I know it's cheesy, but I always love it in superhero movies when the main character finally accepts their destiny and it was a very cool moment for Jaime too. But I will say I think they did it with an interesting approach. For most superhero movies the big moment is the superhero finally deciding to go out of their way and fight the big bad, but in this movie he just finally fights what's right in front of him.

How once Jaime accepted himself as the Blue Beetle, Khaji-Da started speaking to him in spanish and adopted his ideologies, further proving their relationship is a two way street.

I loved that Khaji-Da stopped Jaime from killing Carapax, because he was justifiable angry, but he would've regretted it at some point

The low key plot twist of the locket Carapax had not being his wife and child, but being him and his mother. That was genius tbh.

I loved that Jaime had the iconic 2000s superhero half masked fight. This movie felt so 2000's but in the best way possible.

How the entire final act was circling back to the point of loving his family making him weak, but throughout everything we've seen, it's clearly the opposite.

I liked how once Jaime bonded with Khaji his mask would come on and off on command.

How Jaime started wearing his father's necklace in the ending :(

I loved the entire score so much, the synth wave vibe they decided to take was fantastic. I also love how iconic and recognizable they made blue beetle's main theme. Like the bum bum bummm that kept showing up was so good.

I really loved how they aged Jaime up to 22 as a newly college grad. I feel like superheros are always either 16 or 40 and there's never any in between, so it was nice to see.

And for my last point to a very long list: I loved that in the end Carapax helped Jaime and Jenny. Because the real villain was Victoria making them fight each other, and in my opinion that was such a powerful metaphor for latinos and any pocs

[vaguely-concerned]

Thoughts upon finishing Master and Apprentice! A good double read with Padawan; the ending of that leaving Obi-Wan slightly hopeful about his relationship to Qui-Gon makes for a very sad yet hilarious ‘Local Padawan loses last little bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of vibe to the beginning of this one, which is set one (1) year later and Obi-Wan is So Done with Qui-Gon’s whole deal by this point (correctly btw). Also if you can’t tell already I will not be objective or free from bias in this because I love Obi-Wan so much and some of the stuff Qui-Gon pulled made me incandescent with rage on his behalf <3 let’s go

- 'oh obi-wan, you're so mature for your age, I keep forgetting you're only seventeen years old,' qui-gon says, word for word, repeatedly, in master and apprentice, apparently willfully deaf to the industrial-sized warning bells about their relationship dynamic that should probably be setting off in his head. qui-gon believes in vibing with the living force and being in the moment right up until the moment requires him to pay attention to the kid he's raising for more than oh, one and a half minutes of self-effacing inner monologue and then he's like 'well unfortunately there is simply no time for that right now there are prophecies to be pondered'. (the fact that the admission that obi-wan has essentially been left to raise himself emotionally and the resigned reframing of that as 'and maybe that is a good thing!' is part of the olive branch they extend to each other towards the end... will my sadness never end)

- most of all it's so heartbreaking to me that qui-gon seemingly never understands just how much obi-wan as a person is rooted deeply in shame. I don't think that's a feeling that's particularly prevalent in qui-gon's own inner world so he doesn't recognize how central it is in obi-wan's psychology and completely misunderstands and misaligns with him again and again and again and then gets annoyed with obi-wan for that, thus making the shame even deeper. doubly painful because he does see the way rael lives so much of his life out of shame now and feels sad about it, but can't see the way he's contributing to obi-wan doing so. this is what fucks me up so bad about the generational trauma in star wars -- no one here meant to be cruel. for all his faults I do think qui-gon does love obi-wan and doesn't mean to hurt him. but the original sin of the prequels as far as I'm concerned is qui-gon tenderly drying away obi-wan's tears as he's dying even while completely failing to see him, his eyes too fixed on anakin's future to actually be with obi-wan, who's there right now and needs him.

these are simply very different people trying and failing to understand each other, and the harm that can still happen in that… 'if you love me, you don't love me in a way I understand', all the way through the disaster line, even when the love is there, it is there, that’s what hurts the most, it just doesn’t reach where it’s needed, there’s a connection that doesn’t happen. (ironically I think ahsoka doesn't doubt that anakin loves her, it's just uh everything else that went down. so y'know family curse broken! new even more fucked up curse achieved now with more child murder. I mean there already was some child murder in this family but anakin upped the game exponentially) 

- a lil guy who's basically tarzan except the gorillas are replaced with protocol droids and then he becomes a jewel thief is one of the funniest star wars concepts I've ever heard and I hope pax and rahara get to pop up in more star wars media, they’re great fun. (also an idea I think would be super fun to make a character/campaign around in Edge of the Empire or something, everyone playing different droids and then one person being robo-parented lol) 

- was not prepared to have rael posit a theory of what essentially seems to be the jedi version of predestination in his despair, but I do love to see it haha. especially interesting since he, qui-gon and dooku must be among the people alive who've studied the prophecies in most depth, and they've all reached different conclusions -- dooku decides to join the war of light and dark on the side of dark for some reason, qui-gon (possibly the stubbornest fucker the jedi order ever produced) 'turns towards the light not to win some great cosmic game, but because it is the light', and rael in the middle falls into the depressed apathy of 'it doesn't matter what we do here, the outcome is already decided; for there to be true balance there has to be as much dark as light in the world so we're fucked'. but in the end he does take qui-gon's words to heart and turns towards the light rather than accepting dooku's offer, even if he might not believe it makes a difference in the long run. man I love rael. hobo-looking sonofabitch living in a castle for eight years will just suddenly fling out some deep jedi theology huh

- master rael 'I'm gonna make up for the big terrible mistake I made on accident by making an even bigger more premeditated mistake on purpose' averross (affectionate)

- the added layer to dooku’s fascination with prophecy after reading dooku: jedi lost — that his best friend in the world was a seer who couldn’t turn it off and it destroyed him……….. dooku you’re not getting him back if you just understand what he saw you know that right

- the more I read of master and apprentice the more I realize that the reason yoda and qui-gon don't get along is that they're two of the judgiest bitches the jedi order ever produced. They’re like two cats scowling judgmentally at each other from opposite sides of the room pretending to live and let live while going ‘you’re wrong tho’ internally. 

- I dunk on him constantly (not entirely without affection, however grudging), but Qui-Gon is genuinely a really interesting character. He’s so… he’s so. He’s infuriating but he’s infuriating in an equidistant sort of way. You feel me. He’s pissing everyone off equally and he just doesn’t care because again, he’s the stubbornest judgiest bitch around and thinks he’s right all the time. I would be free to just enjoy his ornery ‘no actually I’m right about this’ ass and the chaos he wreaks so much more if Obi-Wan didn’t have to live with the emotional consequences of it lol. 

- poor rael closing in on fifty with his puriteen middle-aged little brother clutching pearls about his getting laid once in a blue moon fhdskjahfas. again a really interesting insight into different ways of interpreting the jedi code, though, I love seeing the jedi not be an ideological monolith. to be fair to rael, having sex sometimes does seem to be the indulgence he has that causes the least conflict with his principles or loyalties so you know what honestly force speed you my friend why not. (and then there's qui-gon 'noooo sex is only okay if you're In Love (implied: like I was)!!!' jinn lmao. I wonder what he'd think of anakin and padme's relationship, would that pass the 'being sufficiently purely in love' test for him) I do like how consistently it’s shown that rael doesn’t mean to be cruel or unkind in anything he says, he always notices something landing too close to home and then pulls carefully back from it instead of pushing on. He seems to be the emotional intelligence powerhouse in this lineage (as long as he doesn’t have his feelings too tangled up in something, at least). 

Dooku: jedi lost also shows us that dooku absolutely knows rael is out there in the galaxy laying pipe and is, at worst, softly amused by it. So in this little family unit it’s only qui-gon losing his mind over it fjsdkafa I’m so used to having qui-gon be the wild card maverick compared to obi-wan ‘*in tears* but what are the RULES master’ kenobi, it’s so fucking funny that within the context that raised him he’s the stick in the mud 

I guess. the book also had a plot and it was not bad! some interesting insights about how the republic interacted with the big corporations and just how fucked everything already was by this point. I'm a pretty character-driven reader so that's what sticks with me for the most part

- obi-wan’s big teenage rebellion here being that sometimes. Occasionally. When he really loses his temper and gets hot under the collar. He’ll say something slightly passive aggressive out loud instead of keeping it contained inside his head. And qui-gon still can’t handle that gracefully AT ALL he snaps right back fdjskfhas. (I guess he also snitches on qui-gon to the council but well, you know, qui-gon was breaking republic law pretty brazenly at that point I think that moves beyond teenage angst and into ‘...master that’s a wholeass felony’ territory). Obi-Wan does go for a couple of low blows, but like. Nothing that’s not actually true, is the thing. And mostly he blames himself for not being good enough, because surely if he were qui gon wouldn’t treat him like this. Augh. hngh. Pain. suffering. 

- I am not one of the people who think everything would have automatically been just hunky-dory if only qui-gon lived and could have been anakin's master (in fact I would have given it a 50/50 chance of going exponentially worse way faster; being more similar as people is not always a guarantee that a relationship will go smoother and qui-gon is an incredibly difficult man to be close to for any length of time), but the way this book basically presents how the dynamic between dooku, rael and qui-gon could have gone on in the next generation too... it would have been incredibly unfair to obi-wan (as always I think that's just an universal constant lmao) but I think the odds of it turning out okay would have been better if you had him in the mix to run crisis control for both qui-gon and anakin, as he does for each of them individually as best he can anyway. at least he could have been free to be anakin's brother and friend purely in that scenario, without all the added mess of grief and having to take on a parental role there so young. he does basically fill that role in ahsoka's apprenticeship, after all.

- qui-gon finally hugging rael before he leaves the planet (and especially since when they were younger he wanted to, but held himself back from it)... that's still his big brother even with all the shit that's happened since ;_____; when someone teaches you how to swim (literally and symbolically) that shit stays with you I suppose

Relatedly: DOOKU getting hugged, and gladly. What the fuck. Are you all seeing this shit. I’m gonna cry or laugh I’m not sure which one why am I emotionally invested in the galaxy's most problematic grandpa now this sucks

[cheegu3]

Yandere prince Sunwoo who is like in love with you but you love someone else (a commoner who works at your palace or something) but Sunwoo just wants you to himself. He can be mean or something. I love your work a lot btw!!

ty for requesting prince sunwoo 🛐🛐 & thank you sm c: 🖤🖤🖤

Sunwoo - the heartbreaker

warnings; yandere themes, sunwoo is a mean asshole n a misogynist, conservative views, sexual themes, prostitution ?, slutshaming, mentions of non-con, objectification, arranged marriages, family problems, a little angst / tragic love, reader is a badass feminist wc; 2.9k pairing; princess, f.m!reader x prince!sunwoo featuring; juyeon & jacob (tbz), lily (nmixx)

note; I hope this wasn't too far from what you had in mind, Sunwoo never says it but it's implied he fell in love at first sight and thought abt her that whole week

You felt your mother's familiar hand on your lower back, urging you to go forward. The longer you resisted the harder she'd push, until you'd lose your step and drew the attention of the royal family.

Today was no different. Another prince and royal family you had to bow deeply to. Someone you didn't know, but heard the ladies gossip about on the way in. Someone your parents wished you'd marry so your own kingdom wouldn't perish. Someone you'd most likely hate but hadn't even met.

The ladies whispers were particularly bad today. Usually they would contain nonsense, gossip that was very trivial like ' he was born out of wedlock ' or ' he isn't the real heir to the throne ' nothing you cared about, because it didn't have an impact on his character.

But when you were meeting prince Sunwoo of Gija, they whispered something else - ' I've heard the prince has many different lovers ', ' he treats women like decorations, ones he can use as he pleases for his own satisfaction '

And the closer you got to him, the more the line in front of you with the ladies cut down; the more you heard about the infamous prince. He'd earned a nickname, the heartbreaker.

You wished your lover was there to see the way the prince coyly looked the princesses and daughters of lords' forms up and down, his eyes dripping with lust, while he barely listened to a word their fathers or mothers would say to him.

You imagined being with your favourite person instead of being forced to be at another dreadful place; at your favourite spot, under the chestnut trees just outside your own palace, in the garden you both loved so much.

His name was Juyeon, and he was everything Sunwoo was not, except for a prince of course. That one thing meant that he would never be approved by your family, no matter how perfect and gentleman-like he was.

But you could pretend that he'd be the one you'd marry and grow old with during those short moments you shared in the garden, laughing you troubles away until reality kicked in. Until your guards went to fetch you, mumbling discreetly about another prince you had to meet - and you knew, despite seeing the strong front he put on, that Juyeon broke a little more any time you went to look for your future husband, knowing deep down that it could never be him.

The moment prince Sunwoo's eyes landed on someone attractive, his sweet luring words would come out so smoothly, at the right time and to the right person. The young, naive girls would swoon over the handsome man, agreeing to meet up late at night like he'd asked. Then he'd sleep with them; seducing with the promise of a wedding, before ultimately never speaking to them again.

And you refused to bow to immoral men.

Your friend Lily, a lady of your castle, tugged on your sleeve as the room fell uncomfortably silent. The murmur from the mothers who were fixing up the daughters they were looking to marry away stopped, and everyone's heads were fixated on the lady who was glaring openly with disdain at the charismatic prince.

'' Y/n, if you don't bow you'll catch his attention, which is the one thing you don't want to do! '' your friend pleaded in your ear.

You shook both her and your mother's begging off, instead stepping as close to the platform he was sitting on as you could, even taking one more bold step than the other ladies had dared to.

His lips immediately curved into a smirk when you did so, knowing that you weren't doing so out of interest, no - you were challenging him.

'' Who is this rude girl? How dare she treat my son with such disrespect! ''

You turned, breaking the intense stare-match with the prince to glare at her too.

'' Maybe if you hadn't raised such an arrogant and vile womanizer, he wouldn't deserve all the disrespect I can give him. I can't even bare to look at him for one more second, your son disgusts me! '' you spat out, with so much genuine distaste that the ladies gasped in horror, quickly parting when you turned around to leave with your mother and friend hot on your heel.

'' Y/n! How could you do that? ''

'' Your majesty, please...you know how she is. ''

You ignored them both, striding towards the carriage and slamming it shut before your mother could talk to you. Hopefully your friend would've calmed her down before she'd finally enter on the other side.

The voices being drowned out by the carriage lent you some relief. You sighed and leaned against the door. As the adrenaline slowly dissolved, it was replaced with worry.

Had you gone too far? Who knows what his family might do if they were to seek revenge. They were far richer than your own family, and more affiliated politically too. That was the whole reason they wanted you to marry at all, because you didn't have any brothers who could take the throne. Your country's resources were quickly running out, famine, poverty and sickness had increased which was why your parents were in such a hurry to find you a husband, fit to be a king.

Your people would hate you if you brought unnecessary conflict to them due to your temper that often got the best of you. But a part of you also refused to lower your head if that happened, nothing was more important than your morals.

'' Y/n? ''

'' Yeah. You can come in. ''

The door cracked open slowly and your mother and Lily squeezed inside, you shift uncomfortably in your spot as your knees touched each other.

'' Have I caused trouble? ''

Silence fell in the carriage, they both seemed hesitant to answer.

'' Perhaps. We don't know yet. I suspect we'll be chased down by their royal mailmen. Her majesty will at the very least want an apology to the prince. ''

You gave a sorry look to your mother.

'' I couldn't help myself. ''

She didn't answer. Lily's hand grasped yours and she looked at you sympathetically. The rest of the ride carried on in silence but you could feel the tension the whole time.

When you arrived, a guard hurried over to open the door, extending a hand to help you down. It was your favourite guard, Jacob who was a sweetheart and friends with Juyeon. He'd always help you sneak out of the castle to meet your lover, without any objections or scoldings.

'' Welcome back, your highness. ''

You gave him a small smile and he mirrored it playfully.

'' Any mail? '' your mother cut in.

Jacob's expression immediately changed, and there was an instant drop in the mood all around again.

'' Well...yes, your majesty. ''

Everyone held their breaths as he brought out an envelope from inside his jacket. You could already tell who it was from by the wax stamp and the imprint on the back.

'' It's from the royal family Kim of Guija. ''

You heard your mother's deep sigh from your side.

'' And? What do they say? ''

Lily came closer to you, resting her head on your shoulder while holding your waist. But you couldn't even give her a grateful smile, your eyes were fixated on Jacob while his eyes scanned over the letter's contents, feeling breathless the longer the silence stretched on.

'' They seem to want an apology. Eh- '' he scratched the back of his neck uneasily. '' They insult your highness and claim that she has humiliated the entire royal family and ruined their reputation. Calling it a rebellious and childish stunt. ''

'' What do they want then? An apology by letter? ''

You all knew the answer, and it wouldn't be one you liked.

'' No, your majesty. They demand an apology in person. ''

*******

A week of rest hadn't done anything to soothe your nerves, as well as the lingering anger. You knew that when you meet eyes with him again, you'd probably explode. But this time it was crucial to your family's reputation that you kept any personal opinions to yourself.

That's why they let Juyeon come with you. Despite your family trying to keep you two away, they didn't hesitate to use him to keep you in check when they needed it.

A simple apology was all they requested anyway. After that you'd be free to go home and you'd never see his arrogant face for the rest of your life.

Your clenched fists started shaking by the mere thought of just that, the prince's face. Juyeon chuckled softly and laid his hand on top of your closed one.

His kind eyes calmed you down again. When you relaxed and released your fists, he smoothly put his hand in yours to stop you from clenching it again.

'' You'll do just fine. ''

Your heart warmed at your favourite sound in the world - his voice. Any time you'd had a bad day and you heard it, you could melt into a puddle. In contrast to everyone else in your life, he was so sweet, calm and easy; he never raised his voice at you, even if he was angry.

You laid your head on his shoulder and looked up at him with dreamy eyes. He knew what you were feeling, you didn't have to say it. Not that you could anyway with your mom and Lily in the carriage, but your gazes exchanged the same words anyway.

'' Thank you for being here. '' you mumbled, not wanting them to hear.

'' Thank you for letting me. ''

The carriage came to a stop just outside the palace of the Kim family. Your mother had warned you that they'd likely try to put the whole thing on a spectacle, to show that their family still had respect; inviting half the town since you had insulted the precious prince in front of them.

The silhouette of a man neared the carriage and everyone inside seemed to be on guard when the door was opened. You came face to face with a young, tall and handsome guard who without a word, stepped aside to let you come out.

'' Welcome, your majesty and her highness. Please, follow me inside. '' he said very curtly after some time when you'd all stepped outside.

He started walking without looking back which you supposed was out of privacy, but it gave a false sense of politeness - the other guards stood surrounded behind the carriage, in case you got any stupid ideas.

The four of you followed him despite that, there was nothing you could do anyway.

He opened the large doors in the front and you were suddenly greeted by hundreds of faces that had turned towards the direction of the screeching sound of the door opening.

It was a cathedral, the same one you had met the prince in last time. You dreaded raising your head and having to walk down the aisle to look up at his smug face sitting on his throne again; although this time it was undeniably worse since you had to apologise, and bow at his feet for the mercy of the Kim family.

Lily's leaned in to whisper.

'' He's waiting for you. Just get it done and then we can go home. ''

You turned your head and whined but she just shook her head with a small smile and gave you a gentle push forward. With a sigh you obeyed and started the long walk down the aisle.

Everyone's eyes were on you, watching your every move or facial expression and analysing your appearance. You heard judgemental comments when passing by one of the back-rows. But what could you do except bite your tongue and move forward?

Your pride kept you from looking up. Even as you finally reached the very front, your eyes were trained to the floor below.

'' Y/n? ''

Your head snapped up now as you recognised the shrill voice of his mother, the queen. She looked at you with dissatisfaction and scornfulness, not even bothering to hide it.

'' Apologise to the prince. ''

You licked your lips and took a deep breath, feeling your anger start to rise to the surface.

And at last, your eyes landed on him.

Prince Sunwoo, who was sitting leaned back on his overly embellished throne, one you didn't think he deserved to sit in but you had to hold back that insult to restore your family's honour.

'' I'm sorry for my behaviour- '' your jaw clenched as you pressed out, '' Sir. ''

Silence filled the cathedral just after you heard him try to suppress a laugh. Everyone was on their edge, waiting for either the queen or the prince himself to say something - Would he accept or refuse?

'' Accepted. ''

You were stunned at his monotone answer, very much expecting him to drag it out to humiliate you. Although you didn't know much about him, that's what people like him would do for fun right? A predator naturally wanting to toy with its prey.

'' You'll give him an apology in private too. '' the queen filled in, causing you to look at her questioningly.

They seemed to be in a great deal of hurry, presumably because they'd continue the search for a bride for the prince; you didn't get the chance to say anything to your mom or look back at your friend. The guards heaved you up on your feet and lead you away immediately to some back door.

'' Where are you taking me? ''

They didn't answer. You were taken outside and up cobblestone-stairs that lead to the palace, Sunwoo following closely behind. It was much bigger than yours, just further shoving the fact that you had to be on their good side in your face.

Well inside, they took you up the grand stairs that were right inside the entrance. Not much time was given for you to look around, it was almost like they didn't want you to. About a minute later of walking very hastily down yet another corridor, they at last opened a door at the end of the wing and shoved you in.

As soon as you heard the door close behind, a bad feeling settled in your stomach. It was hard to pinpoint the reason - was it simply paranoia, intuition or was it just uncomfortableness with being alone with a man?

Well, technically you weren't alone. Two guards were stationed outside. Just enough space to give you privacy, but not too far away if you'd try something on their precious prince.

Said person, walked past you and stopped right by the window.

'' As you know, I've been looking for a woman to marry lately. ''

Sunwoo's voice caught your attention.

'' But I haven't had much success. ''

He smirked when he turned back and saw that you were watching him, seemingly hanging on to every word that came out of his devilish lips.

'' Are you not scared of me? '' his head tilted as a curious look shot to his eyes that could only mean something bad.

Did he feel offended?

'' No. '' you confidently answered, despite the chill that ran down your spine.

He neared you, causing you to back away until your back hit the door. The guards on the other side stirred at the sound, thinking they'd have to intervene.

'' You should be. ''

Your gaze shifted away from the prince, trying to look at anything but him. But he came even closer, to the point you could feel the fabric of his clothes touch your bare arms and smell the scent of his cologne.

When he started leaning down, his hand raising with it; you flinched away but was left with your mouth hanging open in surprise when the sound of the door locking sounded in the room instead.

You stared at him.

'' Why did you lock it? ''

'' Haven't you heard the rumours? '' Sunwoo rested his hand against the door, almost caging you in and looked down at you. '' About what happens to the women that come into my bedchambers? ''

You swallowed the bile that rose up.

'' Your mother gave you to me. ''

'' What? ''

'' You're mine now, the wedding is next wee- ''

He rolled his eyes when you turned around and tried to unlock the door in panic. Too easily his hand caught your wrist in the act and with one quick thrust, you stumbled across the room, landing on the bed.

You already knew he was creeping up behind you.

'' Do I need to tie you up? ''

You pressed your lips together, refusing to answer him, while your mind was working overtime to try and think of a way to escape. But while sitting there on the bed and thinking, you came back to what he had said - your mom gave you away?

Your heart felt like it was slowly suffocating. You thought she had loved you, she was your mother after all. So how could she do this? After everything you had said about him, she chose him of all people?

'' I asked you a question. ''

A sudden hand came from behind and grabbed your jaw harshly, making you gasp.

'' No. '' you mumbled.

Sunwoo sat down on the bed, next to you so you could see him.

'' We should prepare for the wedding, don't you think? ''

Tears welled up in your eyes. You knew what was coming next by his leering gaze. Confirming your suspicions, he crept closer and the hand from before finally landed on your face, caressing it like that of a man who was madly in love.

You prepared for it. Maybe if you gave in for that one thing, he'd leave you alone for a bit - giving you enough time to think of a plan again.

But then he caught you by surprise again, chuckling deeply at you jumping as his breath tickled your neck.

He whispered sickeningly sweet, '' By killing your lover first. ''

[golden-redhead]

I agree so much about your post about Five's love story. I know everyone can have a different opinion, but it makes me still sad that some people justify the whole thing because they think both getting lost for many years and feeling lonely, that it made sense for them to get together. That Five craved love after everything he went through. That he changed and also grew apart from his family and already grew tired in s3 to save the world.

You know? Five could at least feel guilty. Realize it was wrong. But no, he even got mad and insulted Diego when he had no right to. Like, our Five seriously got pissed that his BROTHER got mad at him that he had an affair with his WIFE he had three kids with? The disrespect was insane and so out of character.

And for what? Getting his heart broken twice. Lila telling him it was survival, like she only used him. Then getting told it's over when he and Diego fight. Yeah, great love story you added there, Steve.

I feel like many people try to justify it as a perfectly normal response to years of isolation and being stranded together which technically is a valid point? But they also forget that this literally didn't have to happen. At all. It was a bizarre subplot that only leads to heartbreak and tension between the characters. And just as they say their final goodbye, too. It was written with no hope for future or resolution. I am still so shocked that they not only came up with this idea but also followed through with it and actually made it canon.

And I agree, Five's total lack of remorse is so wildly out of character, especially since even though he can be hot-headed, he's not emotionally stunted to the point of not understanding that Diego is perfectly in his right to be furious. Him fighting and threatening Diego after his betrayal doesn't make sense and just makes it impossible for the audience to sympathize with him.

I also hate the implication that because Five HAD TO have a love story, then Lila is... well, basically some sort of consolation prize?? Because she was the closest woman available to turn into a love interest? There's this one post pointing out that the badass assassin Lila was bored with her domestic life with Diego, so she became Five's cottagecore wife which is honestly the best possible way to put just how out of character it was for her as well. And Diego... I've seen someone half-joking that maybe the actor and showrunners had some kind of beef, because this season legit goes out of its way to humiliate Diego. Between the fatshaming, his fights with Lila and basically turning him into a comic relief character devoid of substance... Well, I can't help but wonder if there's something to this theory.

Also, shameless self-promotion, but I actually made a video ranting about what this season did to Five, so you can check it out here for more of my thoughts!

[spider-jaysart]

Character ask: Damian Wayne (duh!)

@venetiangoldroz

Lolll

1. How I feel about this character:

Small boy!! Very intelligent, has a good heart that he usually tries not to show off too often but it is always there with him, sweet animal lover, and is a cool, crazy, weird kid that I love so much lmao

2. All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Jon Kent

3. My non romantic otp for this character:

Jon Kent

4. My unpopular opinion for this character:

Some fans don't like that Damian is a fan of Dinah Lance as a singer, but I personally like it lol. I don't like how silly he was made to be about it though, like singing one of the songs out loud in public for example, because he would never actually do that all lmaooo, he would keep that to ONLY himself lol. Also, I'm hearing now that it was actually a crush he was having on her, which I hate. Like, yes, he's an adult in that specific comic, but I'm tired of DC making him fall for almost every female and older woman that he interacts with, like just let him be normal about them already!!! I just like him being a fan of her music and that's it

5. One thing I wish would happen/had happen with this character in canon:

Not just one thing, cause I'mma list them all here

Start getting the respect he deserves after so much😤, cause like he literally changed himself and went through so much development for years now, but it's still not enough for DC writers or even some fans!! Like, just what do you want from him anymore????? He's been trying so much for too long now!!

For writers to stop treating him like he's nothing but evil, because he's not!! He's just a kid who grew up with a kind of life that's VERY different from everyone else's and was just taught ever since from a really young age to see things in other ways because of that. He does have a heart, it's the reason why he's made so much effort to become the person and hero he is today now and has left the whole League life behind. And about him being a tough person, that's just literally his dang personality, it's not something that adds to him being "evil" at all either

For DC to also just let him choose and make his own path as a hero when he grows up. He shouldn't become the next Batman by force or go through with becoming head of the Loa either, one of the big parts about his character is about discovering who HE actually is and figuring out what he really wants for himself instead, so he deserves to make his own choices by his own will. He should also become a vetinarian when it comes to getting a career

Stop with the white washing and start consistently representing his Arab side more, just like how the artist Gleb Melnikov did very boldly and also wonderfully in Robin 2021 when drawing him

And another one for the writers is to also stop making him crush on older woman!!!! PLEASE!! Just cut it out already!!! This entire thing has been going on ever since he was just 10 years old and nothing about it has ever been "cute!" or whatever they think of it as! It's just freaking weird and I don't understand why DC writers keep doing that to him! He's just a kid, not a grown man, so treat him like it!!! And stop deaging woman who were also already much older just to be with him and stop setting him up with his own female family members too! That one's already happened twice now (Mar'i and Cassandra) and now I'm scared that the writers of the second Supersons movie are gonna push that into there too with Cassandra AGAIN and ruin the film that way, which I really HOPE that doesn't happen AT ALL!😖

Let him have an actual relationship with his Mother instead of keeping them distant so much! Damian deserves to have her in his life too, not just Bruce as his Father, and she also deserves to have him in hers as well. Despite how things may be, they really love eachother a lot and it's not fair that they don't get to be as close as they were before, which is also really heartbreaking to think about honestly

Damian should also get to have a relationship with Respawn too that can develop into a sibling one at some point if ever he ever does appear again in the future

Never let him act like a normal person, let him forever be his weird, strange self, because that's literally one of the biggest things that MAKES HIM DAMIAN and I love him for it lol. Batman and Robin 2023 tried to change this about him in it's protayal and I hated it, it felt like some imposter, which just frustrated me a lot and made some things boring too. This goes for other kinds of mischaracterizations that were done to him too, like Gotham War as the most recent example, which was a big time failure at doing it well in a different way. Writers need to learn how to get to know him better first before actually writing him in their stories, deciding how he will react and treat things that happen in said story and it's plot. Here's something else much better too, he needs to start getting writers who actually like/love, respect, and actually understand him!

I think that's all for now loll but Thank you for the ask, @venetiangoldroz !! Sorry about the little delay btw, but I enjoyed answering this!!!