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alatismeni-theitsa · 9 months

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It is natural for humans to place importance on our ancestry and ethnic origins, its just human to want to be part of a bigger story. Last summer I visited my great-grandparents homeland and got to see the village they grew up in. Seeing family farm and talking to people who knew our family was incredibly touching and made me feel deeply connected to the country and to our history. I mean, my ancestors lived and toiled on that land for generations, long before the current borders existed. Our time in the US is recent and short in comparison. So I don´t think one can entirely dismiss the importance of heritage and ancestry to the individual.

That post didn't dismiss the importance of heritage at all. It just said that your blood alone won't make you less culture-shocked or better adapted than other people, when you have little to no contact with said culture. No one discouraged ancestors of immigrants against contacting the culture. I'm very happy about your good experience and I find it natural for locals to get excited and happy when finding out a person hails from their area.

There's a variety of reasons some nations care a lot about their grandparents' area/country and others do not. I've found that mostly people from the US feel strongly about the old place of their family. Perhaps it's the feeling people have in newer nations. I guess it was a very big thing "leaving for the US" instead of "leaving for Portugal", "leaving for Germany", "leaving for Egypt," and so USAmerican families hold the old land dearest in their hearts.

In fact, USAmericans seem to have their lineages recorded better than many other countries. (Exempt are the cultures that do ancestor worship or have similar practices) Someone does need to tell me if USAmericans think every person in the "old world" has a written lineage and we are all constantly proud of what our ancestors did, and have a deep connection to how awesome our 3rd great-aunt was.

The truth is, most of us don't give a fuck. And yes, I'm talking about 3rd-4th gen. immigrants (and sometimes those of refugees), too. People migrate through countries and areas all the time, and yet this feeling is not as strong. I will tell my experiences in a while.

But in general, I haven't seen the same strong feelings in European, Middle Eastern, and African friends. (there are always exceptions and this is my personal experience) For example, Greeks (who live in the freaking Balkans, where we know no one is a 100% anything) rarely talk about their ancestry and if they do they just say "hey my grandma was from X place" and the rest of us say "cool" and we continue with our lives.

A few might remember their family history because of a heroic ancestor or because their family had epic drama. Greek refugee families from Minor Asia tend to remember their "lost fatherlands" (dir.trans.) because the trauma of the 1920's is still palpable in the family. But this is a different flavour of longing than what I hear from USAmericans.

"It's just human to want to be part of a bigger story" you said, and I agree, but this idea doesn't seem to have the same impact on many nations.

Enter: me. <3

I've never visited the places/countries my great-grandparents and grandparents came from, and where 3 of my grandparents grew up (when they died they hadn't been to these places for 50 years minimum each). I have a famous Greek uncle, the cousin of my grandpa, whom I never met. I always saw him on TV but our lives never intersected and... well my life went on.

I don't feel a tangible connection to these people and lands. I mean why would I? I'm a complete stranger to them. Part of my line couldn't been in Egypt for 14 generations and I will never know (well unless I take a DNA test) but even if I learn it won't impact my life whatsoever. What am I supposed to do? Go to Egypt and walk through Cairo shouting the surnames my dead family members had? My family could be only in Greece for 50 generations and I still wouldn't care. 😂

On the Greek and foreign places my great-grandparents (and even half my grandparents) are from: I definitely don't consider myself part of those specific cultures and subcultures. Once I had to Google what type of language one country spoke (I knew the language name cause..geography). I couldn't even imagine myself living there without serious social adjustments. It would be nice to visit and learn stuff about the local culture, for sure, but I would feel like a tourist still.

Two weeks ago I saw a woman from the village of my great grandma in the market. We exchanged a few "ah ok you're also from there, cool!" And that was the end of it. What else are we supposed to say? There was no ✨ deeper connection ✨ or something. Why would I care about their opinions on family members from 100 yrs ago - only in case they remembered them - whom I never met and I don't know if they'd like me?

(Funny story, a Greek friend of mine thought her grandma was from Austria and it turns out she was from... Thrace 😂 She just was in Austria for work for a couple of years. This didn't impact her interaction with her grandma at all 😂 I don't know how but it was a very short conversation because we just didn't care much)

Also last year I commissioned a traditional clothing piece in a village very close to my grandpa's village in Greece and not only I didn't know the terminologies for that village but also for my grandpa's village. The complete stranger on the phone had to tell me that stuff and explain to me the importance of each piece and how the villages separated themselves through clothing. (I also accidentally offended him with how I called a thing). Sure I can imagine my grandpa living there, but things have changed there since the 1930s. Houses, markets, roads, these are not the same things he saw when he was there.

My dad just shrugged when he saw how the village (in another country) my other grandpa is from today. I didn't feel a magic spark either tbh. I deeefinitely don't know shit about the place. We have more of a connection with the old refugee families in our area than people from that village.

Blood alone won't familiarise me with these cultures and subcultures. I have to go through the learning process like every other foreigner. A Chinese immigrant (to name a place from far away) living in these cultures for a decade now has a better understanding and connection to them than I do today. It would be nice if someone from these places remembered my family but I don't think they do. It comes off as desperate - in my case - to say "Remember this family who lived here a hundred years ago?" What is the average person supposed to know 😂 I don't even know the old families in my own hometown. I know some surnames, alright, but people personally? naah..

Ofc sometimes people remember their diaspora relatives and they keep in touch, so when you go to that country you have still a "root" there to familiarize you with the current culture.

My family is not the golden standard but I gave examples to demonstrate how people can view ancestry.

I don't disregard the strong feelings about the place of origin. I don't think it's a negative thing to want to find out what happened in your family. But locals can get uneasy when someone from a family that hasn't stepped foot in this land for 3 generations comes around, and think they will fit right in. The locals can tell the cultural difference, even if they remain silent. One example for Greeks is... the Bachelor show - of all places - and for Italy one episode from the series White Lotus presented this situation accurately.

That doesn't mean locals don't feel happiness or affection for that person. I know I'd be happy if, after 3-4 generations I saw my diaspora cousins up close and we talked about Greek stuff. It would just be a cringe if they pretended we didn't have any cultural differences and that Greece is today exactly how their grandparents left it. I guess most people just ask for a reality check + empathy with the locals when someone comes from abroad.

Guys, if you are not from a recently-founded country what are your experiences with this?

#gives me suggestions on how to tag this #answered #ancestry #diaspora

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demonangelsworld · 2 years

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Entangled In Him

✨Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x OC! Orianna Wolfe

✨Summary: Orianna and Ransom had an unconventional start to their relationship. Despite this, they still stuck through, pushing past their rough beginnings, Ransom's family, and Orianna’s. They have done things they're not proud of, and their relationship is far from perfect, but she and Ransom know they’ll make it. They don’t know how far it will be tested when Ransom’s grandfather commits suicide the night of his birthday party.

✨Warnings: Bullying, an attempt at manipulation, angst

✨W/C: 2.6k

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Chapter One: How We Started

I take a breath looking up at the building in front of me, Ryder Springs Private Academy. I worked my ass off to ensure I could attend this school and not one of the public schools. It feels good to see the fruits of my labor. This school is my ticket to the start of a better life; I'll make every minute count.

I tighten my grip on my backpack, straighten the skirt of my uniform, and head inside. I hold back my awe at the grandiose entryway. There's a big, plush, red carpet lining the hallway and a staircase to one side. Everything looks expensive and fancy—definitely something I need to get used to.

Some students walk the halls, all wearing the same uniform as I am. Black flats with stockings, a deep blue skirt that goes to the knees, a white blouse, and a tie with the school's crest on it for the girls. Black dress shoes, deep blue pants, a white dress shirt, and the same tie for the boys.

“Hey!” I jump a little as a loud, high-pitched voice breaks me out of my gawking state. Turning, I see a girl my age with dark skin, dreads falling from her head, and a braces-filled smile on her face. “You're the new girl, right? My name is Rio. I'm part of the welcoming committee.” She cheerfully holds her hand out to me.

This girl exudes bubbly happiness. It's nearly overwhelming. How can someone be this happy in high school?

“Yeah, that's me. My name is Orianna.” I shake her hand with a small smile of my own.

“Your name is so pretty! How did your parents think of that?” Rio gushes.

“My mom told me I'm named after my great-grandmother. Your name is pretty too. How did you get yours?” I hum, toying with my backpack strap.

“I was born in Rio; my parents aren't very creative.” Rio laughs. “So, since it's your first day, I was tasked with showing you around and getting you settled before your homeroom begins. Do you have your schedule?”

“Oh, yeah, I do.” I pull the schedule out of my pocket; I was so happy when I saw the skirt had pockets.

I hold it out to her, and she reads it for a moment. “Oh, awesome! We have 6th-period lunch together. Wanna eat with me then?”

“Sure! That sounds great!” I nod with a grin. I know she's just being nice since she's part of the welcoming committee, but maybe I could get to know her and become friends.

“Wonderful! I'll guide you to your locker, then show you around.” Rio hooks her elbow in mine, and we head off into the school.

During my tour, I got to know Rio more; she loves animals and science and hopes to go into conservation. The complete opposite of myself, who loves to write, read, and hopes to become an editor. Rio's parents are prominent advocates against deforestation. They are often in other countries working to replant the forests that have been taken down over the years—leaving her to live with her Grandmother most of the time here in Boston. We had to part ways when the bell rang; after that, it was like any other school day.

Any other school day if you add in stuck-up private school kids. When I got to homeroom, I chose a seat near the front. I hum as I pull out my notebooks and pens, ignoring all the desks with laptops on them surrounding me. I begin writing little notes when I feel someone jabbing at my shoulder. Turning around, I spot a girl with black hair and jade eyes slyly grinning at me, her eyes roaming over my uniform for a moment.

“Yes?” I raise a brow when she doesn’t say anything after a moment.

“Aren’t you the girl that got in on the Thrombey writing scholarship?” The girl asks, fiddling with one of those stupidly gaudy pens with a pom-pom on top.

“Yeah, and?” I prompt again, wondering where this is going. I don’t like the way she’s looking at me. Like she’s trying to find my insecurities to tear out, it seems like I met my first private school prep.

“Must be embarrassing, having to come here with just the money from some rich old guy. How did you manage to land that? You sleep with him?” The girl grins conspicuously at me and leans closer. My jaw drops, and my face twists into that disgust. Other girls around her lean close, and I realize what’s happening.

These absolute bitches.

After taking a moment to compose myself, I give them my grin and lean forward. “You really wanna know?” I murmur as quietly as I can. They all eagerly nod, especially the main bitch that started this.

“It’s called dedication and hard work. Something you assholes will never learn. Because you’re nothing but spoiled bitches that will get everything handed to you until the day you die. Now, I suggest you leave me alone before I show you what someone of ‘my standing’ is willing to do to protect myself.” I blow them all a kiss, and the girl’s expressions change to horror or hatred.

The head bitch goes to bark something back, but I turn around and ignore her. Girls like that aren’t worth my time. Soon the teacher walks in and begins class on economics. Despite his presence, I still hear the girls whispering to get my attention.

“Scholarship. Hey, Scholarship. Scholarship!”

Those girls weren’t the only ones to cause me problems and call me that name throughout the day. It’s like they all somehow immediately knew who I am, my status, everything. I must be the only one here on scholarship. That has to be the reason. It was all so annoying, and I had to keep myself in check on more than one occasion. I don’t want to make any more enemies today. I don’t think I could handle any more drama.

I let out a little sigh as I walked into the school's dining hall. Lunch tables scatter the area, most of them already packed. Thankfully I don't hear all the chatter thanks to my earbuds blaring a true crime podcast into my ears instead. I move to the lunch line, going through the motions of grabbing food. Today it's mac n cheese, fruit, and juice. Honestly, I was expecting something a little fancier from this place, but I'm not complaining. A good, hot meal without me having to cook? I'll take it.

I glance around before finally seeing Rio waving frantically, trying to catch my attention. I laugh at her dramatics and make my way over. I focus on my podcast as I walk, ‘...the body was found at the bottom of the steps of the man stalking her for days prior.’

I get entrapped in the story, almost to the table, when someone suddenly backs up right in front of me.

“Shit!” I gasp. I attempt to catch myself as my feet hit their ankles, but it's too late.

My precious mac' n cheese goes right on the person's shirt. They shout something incoherent as I land flat on my face. My head spins a bit from the impact on the floor; carefully, I reach up to check if I broke the skin on my forehead. When I don't feel the blood stickiness, I sigh in relief, only to pause when the laughter begins. The flush of embarrassment immediately makes its way to my cheeks. It's just my luck that I made a fool of myself on the first day.

“Clumsy little bitch.” I hear the person I dumped my food on growl. I scowl at their words and manage to push myself up to my knees. I go to bark back my insult but stop short.

Holy shit, the guy is hot. He glares down at me with icy blue eyes. His dirty blonde hair pushed back on his head. His tie is undone, and a couple of his shirt buttons give the classic 'schools rebel' vibe. Lowering my eyes slightly, I cringe at the enormous yellow stain on his shirt from where my food landed.

He suddenly smirks at me; shit, how long have I been staring at him? “Hit your head too hard? Or are you just checking me out?”

I flush at his words but quickly glare, remembering what he called me. “You fucking wish. Why don't you watch where you're going next time?” I feel a hand on my arm and smile, seeing Rio helping me to my feet.

“I should be saying that to you, scholarship. You ruined my shirt; it probably costs more than whatever hole you live in.” The guy bites out with venom dripping in his tone.

I grunt hearing that little nickname. This guy isn't the first person to have called me that today. I'm tired of being looked down on for getting a little help.

“Do I look like I give a fuck? No. I'm sure your ass can afford to get a new one.” I bare my teeth at him, showing him I won't back down or be ridiculed.

“Ransom, just leave her alone, okay? It wasn't even her fault. Your friend pushed you into her.” Rio murmurs, looking everywhere but him. Does this guy make her nervous? Yeah, he's bigger than the two of us, but he's not scary in the slightest, at least not to me. It takes a lot to scare me.

“My fault, huh? You're really brave to accuse me like that, loner freak.” Ransom shoots his glare over to Rio.

I step in front of Rio, blocking her from his view. “She's not accusing you. She's stating what she saw. Look, I'm sorry for ruining your precious shirt. Now can we move along and get back to lunch? I'm personally rather hungry, and we're losing precious minutes of our free time by arguing over something stupid.”

“Awe, you're hungry, scholarship? Are you so poor that you're not getting enough food at home? Poor thing.” Ransom cooes in a false, overly sweet tone. I roll my eyes, refusing to take his bait, and argue back at him. He chuckles when I say nothing, “Fine, I'll let you run off and finish your lunch, but this isn't over. I want compensation for my shirt.” He wiggles his fingers at me as he struts off with his laughing buddies, “see you later, Scholarship.” I stand there, glaring daggers into his back as Rio tries to pull me away from the scene.

“Orianna, this isn't good. He's the school's trouble kid.” She murmurs when we get over to the table she was sitting at earlier.

“And? I'm not going to let his reputation scare me. He seems to be all bark and no bite.” I scoff. I've met his type a hundred times over. They all think they're big shit until someone pushes back.

“Ori, he's known for getting girls and guys alike to bend at his will. He knows how to manipulate and get his way. I've seen it happen...” Rio looks down with sadness clouding her eyes.

My concern immediately grows, “Rio, did he do something to you?”

Rio immediately shakes her head, “Not me, my ex-girlfriend. He liked her for a while, but she refused him in front of many people and then dated me. I don't know how Ransom did it, but he convinced her to break up with me and get with him. Then he broke up with her in front of the whole school during one of the assemblies. She was so humiliated she moved schools.”

“What a fucking horrible thing to do,” I shake my head a bit. People are horrible. Who would go through all that trouble just to make someone hurt? “Don't worry, I won't let him get to me. Believe me. I've dealt with some fucked up people in my time. I think I can handle a pretentious shitwad like him.”

Rio sends me a small smile, “I hope you're right, Orianna; you seem so nice. You don't deserve to be hurt by him.”

“Thanks, Rio.” I give her a soft smile, and she offers me half her tuna sandwich since I lost my lunch. I grin and happily eat with my new friend.

By the end of the day, I'm feeling the first day of school wear out. If today is just a glimpse of what the year will bring for me, I'm so screwed. Thankfully, I'm a junior, so I only have to deal with this hell for two years instead of four. Then it's off to the bliss of a college education with mature adults, not children like these assholes.

I shut my locker and head out of school, thinking about everything I would need to grab at the market for dinner. I fumble with my bike lock for a moment when I hear the voice from earlier that makes me want to grind my teeth.

“Scholarship!” Ransom yells as he walks over, his friends all laughing a few feet away.

“Hell no, not today,” I mutter under my breath and quickly put in the combination. Quickly tossing on my helmet, I swing my leg over my bike, only for Ransom to grab the handlebar at the last moment.

“Where are you going? Didn't you hear me calling for you?” He frowns down at me, and I roll my eyes.

“Oh, no, I heard. I'm just choosing to ignore you, now hands-off.” I swat at Ransom's hands, and his frown morphs into a scowl.

“You might want to be a little nicer to me, scholarship. I did some digging and saw you got in here purely on the Harlan Thrombey young writers award.” Ransom's scowl turns into a sadistic smirk.

My stomach turns at the sight, but I push away my unease. “And? What about it?” I glance at my watch and wince, “look, can we hurry this up? I got places to be.”

“Well, here's the deal, scholarship.” Ransom lets go of my bike and steps away from me, confidence coming from every pore on him. “Harlan Thrombey is my grandfather.”

“Congratulations?” I stare at him, confused, as I ready myself to ride off again.

Ransom scoffs at me, “Do you know what that means? It means I could have him pull your funding if I wanted to. So, you have to do what I say and when I say it.”

I snicker under my breath, attempting to control the laughter bubbling inside me. Is this asshole serious? He's hilarious! The dam breaks, and I burst into laughter, clutching my stomach.

“What's so funny?! Don't you realize the mess you're in?!” Ransom demands, looking at me incredulously.

“What mess? I'm not scared. I earned that scholarship by proving my worth and hard work. If your grandpa is dumb enough to listen to you and pull my funding, so be it. I'll find somewhere else to go or work my ass off in the public school. I don't have to do shit for you!” I push off on my bike and start heading to the market.

“You still owe me compensation for my shirt!” Ransom yells at me as I ride off.

“MHM, SURE!” I flip him the bird and continue, not even bothering to listen to whatever intelligent come back he thinks off. The spoiled little rich boy really thought he had me cornered. I'm a lot smarter than that, though. A lot smarter than him too.

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rennyji · 8 months

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8 pages of tweets - more recent - before last two weeks.

"June 15th tweets

"YouTube ‚the day miura jam‚It‚a rock Japanese song from anime

"June 16th tweets...",

"so we're midway through June...",

"you know what comes to mind? napkins and toiletries...-",

"- a disgusting combination in speech, but hey, the concept of paper towels came to mind...In India &elsewhere, after eating a meal, we're taught to rinse our hands &mouth w/water. In America, especially in the busy, \"time spent outside the house\" life, people rely on napkins...-",

"- i guess the idea is the napkin absorbs the food or drink surrounding your mouth...i mean hey, it's convenient...who wants to rinse their mouth in a public bathroom where water from the sink could splash back on you...and then i dunno how Americans freshen their breath...-",

"- ive seen some people @ work brush their teeth after lunch @ work...i guess others just chew gum or take mints..just mentioning a difference in lifestyles..&then on the more comical note, using toilet tissue &then laying in a bathtub &letting the water do the work-Im assuming..-",

"- i think baths have gotten out of style...i think more people use the shower head nowadays...i dunno...but aftr the use of toilet tissue, are you assuming the water does the work?! In countries outside America, people \"wash themselves\" instead of toilet paper, or use both.-",

"- i mean solely using toilet paper is kind of disgusting as you leave yourself dirty...and in America, I think people explore beyond the Kama Sutra, and \"go anal\" in relationships..considering heavy reliance on toilet paper, kind of grimy.-",

"-.i dunno just thinking..how do the foreign Americans do things? so we covered napkins, toilet paper, ... what about paper towels? Like Bounty? Bounty 4 me has become synonymous with \"paper towel.\" Does it really clean a spill? I mean you can try drying your table of the liquid-",

"- with a paper towel. but the table still might be sticky...doesn't it make sense to wipe that portion of the table again with a wet paper towel? Water cleans, right? just thinking...how do other people do everyday things?!",

"on a related note, i found these multipurpose natural wipes on Amazon, after seeing my mom use Lysol or whatever for various things...its from \"Good Life Solutions\"... search \"all natural surface cleaning wipes\"-they're multipurpose...-",

"- &when I mention a product on this platform, I don't get paid by them to say it. I search for good stuff when a need arises. Im sharing the knowledge, or with the selfish incentive of showing the good of these products, so that more people buy them, & make the prices go down.",

"- i mean like Rebbl drinks or \"Smart Water Renew\"...good in place of coffee...but they cost $4.50 and $2.50 a bottle, respectively. If more people got interested, maybe the prices would go down...",

"- but i've mentioned that in the past already...",

"Youtube \"Goku Jiren Rap\" from Anime...as invigorating as \"Gasolina\" from Daddy Yankee...",

-\Goku Jiren Rap\ youtube link: https://t.co/iGgCCK49WC

"you know what's an awesome way of walking? Like Master Roshi from DragonBall (not the Z series, but the original/beginning series). He walks with this hands folded behind his back. I imitate that...i think its cool and it makes the back also feel good...-",

"-also i guess it shows I'm a proud DragonBall or DragonBall Z fan...I collect their figures, and collect models of the seven dragon balls in a wooden chest...",

"It‚weird, but,My childhoodPediatrician &my lifelongDentist areIndians from the stateOfGujurat. Just happening 2 seeThem today was symbolic of ‚theOldLife‚ ‚b4 the situation‚. seeingThem felt like a pieceOfHome.So, naturally, U ameesha Patel look a likes, we‚re already family.",

"- so seeing Indian people made me think of India, which made me think of my grandparents. While I‚m a coffee drinker, the people of my background, in India, drink tea. My grandmother brings tea to my grandfather and all our cousins, while we sit on the front porch. -",

"- while they all drink a version of masala chai or simply chai, my mother will bring me green tea, as coffee wasn‚t available at my grandparents, and I didn‚t think to bring instant coffee or some expensive portable coffee/espresso machine. Throughout the day, my aunts, grandma,-",

"- and mom, spend time in this big kitchen, while my grandfather and my cousin brothers and sisters and me play cards. It makes you wonder‚growing up watching modern day Bollywood movies and living in America amidst my strict parents, I wanted a woman who would be my equal,-",

"- my partner in crime, someone I could put on a pedastil. I wanted someone I could cook a meal together with‚but this notion of women bringing their husbands coffee or tea-do modern day women do that? WomenByNature are pictured as nurturing care givers. I think in recent times-",

"- women have mutated to the other extreme, along with ‚gender reversals.‚ While I feel Greek families feel the same wAy, Indian families fear American women for their sons as they‚re depicted as walking all over men. In modernTimes, I feel women try 2 find a guy who‚successful-",

"- and look to a life of yoga and wellness while their husbands try to prevent their wives from divorcing them‚scary‚whoever I get as my girlfriend or wife, she should have a solid degree. Personally, I want a certain quality to my future life or future family life like my -",

"- friend Sean and his wife, who are both lawyers. Life can be scary. It helps to have a wife who‚with you through thick and thin, through sickness and health, and with respect to degrees, if one person in a relationship loses their job, you partner would still have theirs, -",

"- thereby continuing your same quality of life and maybe even helping you get another job. A woman with a real degree is important, or at least the desire and potential for a real degree, or a stabile business.-",

"-I don‚t want every burden placed on me, especially after ‚this situation.‚ I want a woman who gives me peace of mind. A life of tranquility and happiness‚lonely Indian male seeking a ‚partner‚ in crime-nothing less, nothing more

June 16th tweets right side up in tumblr blog link below: https://t.co/F4BFjzbs06

"June 17th tweets...",

"- you know what's cool? Gas spring wall mounted monitors...you can turn the monitor in any direction, raise it higher, lower, whatever...the gas spring is key...",

"so i bought Ugg Men's In House shoes...(do men call these slippers?! i dunno)...I went through several pairs from exchanges/returns. Why? The fuzz or fur inside is being pulled out/apart in all directions, right out of the box...Come on Amazon...aren't you guys about quality?!",

"So I saw \"Superman & Louis\" on the CW app, the other day. Lara (would like that name for a potentialDaughter, but moving on..), a.k.a. Superman's Kryptonian mom was revealed 2be married to 1 man, had a child, &then married Superman's dad, Jor-El-whom she later fell in love with.-",

"- this was said in passing on the show, as part of a different theme. But it makes you wonder...Are all women like this? Constantly out to seek \"the best deal\", regardless of stage of life? After having a son with 1 man, she falls in love with another and has another child...-",

"- what happens to marriage vows? Are these just empty words among America's pandemic of empty promises, hopes, and help? These words of through sickness and health, whatever, are meant to have power. These kind of things give life meaning and power...-",

"- Things aren't working out with your partner? Work things out. The option of divorce, I feel, makes people try less harder. Your partner is literally supposed to be ur other half. You are one being. There are extreme cases of people being abused, but the rest is ego. -",

"- U marry me, ur stuck with me for eternity and beyond...think about it...u being my half is like my hand which is part of me...not going anywhere without my hand...duhhh...huhhh, womennnn...",

"moving on...From Run Girls, Run!, YouTube anime song ‚share the light‚ - kinda girly, but catchy jingle...",

"YouTube ‚Ultra instinct (trap remix)‚",

"On a differentNote, U can learnSomething fromThe IndianConcept of arrangedMarriages, America..Whereas U have theOpportunity of datingAround, findingPeople who share in ur hobbies/interest, make U feelExtraordinary, Indians,for centuries&beyond have been paired by theirParents.-",

"- If you talk to Indian couples, who probably have nothing in common, they say, they and their spouses have a \"deep bond.\"They're bound by simply having the constant presence of another...someone to talk to, someone to care for them, and so forth...-",

"- This American thing about common hobbies/interests, making you feel special - these are biological feelings/impulses. You need to expand ur mind: \"who will always be there for you?\" Astrology and hobbies aren't what forms a \"connection.\" It is the answer to that question...",

"Check out \"Mud Wtr\" on Google, as an alternative to caffeine‚nothing to do with actual \"mud\" - that's just what its called...good stuff, but expensive...",

"@shakira is the single most beautiful blonde in the world And @missmorenab (Morena Baccarin) is the most beautiful brunette in the world...hands down...",

"If regular coffee doesn't do it for you, you can search and find coffees like \"Kion Coffee\", or, on the other extreme, \"Death Wish Coffee.\" But remember, different stuff holds the potential of working for different people. Looking for options? Give one of them a try..good stuff..",

"I want to get to a point where I‚m traveling and have a secretary. I want to get to a point where when I go downstairs, breakfast is ready...when I need something, it‚before me‚don't want to worry about the little things...",

"Try the \" CoreStretch \" from Amazon...quick way to stretch your back and other muscles...",

"After shaving, there isn‚t a single after shave out there that reduces post shaving sensitivity, preparing u 4 tomorrow‚shave. Ive found a cream in Indian Ayurveda, alleviating that ‚ahhh it burns/stings!!!‚ post shave feeling by piling on the cream when no 1 supposedly looks.",

"So I found out that Miranda Cosgrove, Nickelodeon's \"Carly Shay\" from iCarly, made $180,000 per episode from a legally/appropriately run show...for this illegal relaying of me, from lawsuits and salary-never-received, I'm going to say $180,000 per relaying is the base line...",

"so moving on...now...don't get me wrong, but i'm not into, getting into the following subject. but the majestic orchestrators of \"the situation\" frequently keep talking about a girl \"I knew 'of' \" and don't in fact know. I don't know why. -",

"- I remember a family member commenting on some show that filmed teenagers doing drugs, while I was walking by. Notion of possible cameras came 2 mind. But then how is it powered, where would you put it?-",

"-When I attempted engineering, I saw a magazine page about hacking thru the wireless card in laptops. Wireless hackingWhen I was in my 20s, people were making a fuss about the NSA monitoring text messages.-",

"- do you know how to disable the wireless hacking of a phone? You remove the battery. I stuck with Samsung phones that gave that capability. I invested in Faraday cage phone/laptop sleeves. Now from MacBooks to iPhones and tablets, you cannot remove the battery. Conspiracy?!-",

"- you hear of extraordinary people throughout history, some we regard as saints in Churches like the Catholic Church. You hear of Nostradamis, you hear of the unkillable Raspitin. But there seems to be a push to making humanity bland as mayonnaise and believe life is bland-",

"- religion, with watching out for things like the 7 deadly sins (envy, lust, gluttony, etc.), was about strengthening the mind to give focus to do incredible things. Now it‚replaced by psychiatry. You don‚t hear things about saints who perform miraculous cures or resolutions.-",

"- people question whether Christ or Rama or Buddha even existed. From the Christian standpoint, something motivated 12 men to converse, be able to converse, & travel half way across globe 2 spread a message that‚d make man more than the inclinations detected by brain mapping.-",

"- something incredible clearly fueled those men. But what am I getting it? The potential of humankind seems to be coerced into the sense of ‚good enough‚ or just ‚ getting by.‚ What if we could remember things without our phones reminding us?-",

"-What if we didn‚t need Alexa or Google to turn off our lights or control our thermostat? What if, like God saying, ‚let there be light,‚ we could turn on the lights with our will?-",

"-You know what‚another conspiracy? If in case, we manage to will our television on, people‚d assume it‚their home controlling technology. If we believe, we truly can move mountains, at least when one government isn‚t controlling all the pieces on the chess board.-",

"- I‚ve witnessed effects of my typing on my phone, my computer, temptations for a burger, I‚m cognizant of the dangers of the mics on phone and Alexa devices. Am I to just assume that there might be a camera in my bedroom, in the direction of my chair or television? -",

"- is that what other people are supposed 2 believe or just me? I just don‚t get how u can keep something like brain mapping, mind reading, mind control a nonexistent conversation. U see newspapers&tv shows advocating reach of a persons consciousness like the Quantum Leap tv show-",

"- at times, by ruling out all that something isn‚t, you get an idea of what it is. I‚m not special. I had more than a decade for this to roll around in my head.-",

"- on the one hand, religion is replaced with psychiatry, miracles or ufos or extraordinary things are explained away, things like Alexa devices are depicted as reasons for automated actions‚but then ur also doing brain mapping. I say the latter because -",

"- Society, culture, the American government?!, seems to minimize humanity is something with limited potential, something bound by hunger like an animal, that thought becomes action. I believe India‚Hindus were the first brain mappers. That‚what astrology is. It‚been done.-",

"- Indian astrology says ur personality strengths/weaknesses, potential profession, potential spouse‚but problem w/ fate/biology/astrology is that something is telling you: this is as far as U can go. I‚m a Libran, ironically the scales of justice in a very unjust situation.-",

"- apparently romantically, the stars say Im only compatible with Geminis and Aquarius. But God has given me and everyone free will. It‚one of the staples of the Adam/Eve story. I can choose to react to a desire, a need, a hunger.-",

"-Christ is famously known as saying U can move mountains. Notion of walking on water is famously sourced in Him. Do U know what brain mapping & astrology (ancient Indian brain mapping) says? It says Ill end up here or there or can B muscular enough 2 do pull ups & only pull ups.-",

"-but if I accept to choose the rule or the stipulation of someone‚science, I end up ‚choosing‚ to not try to lift a car.-",

"- If I accept that only Geminis are a romantic match for me, I fail to find some1 who connects w/ my beliefs & values. I may give up on it early b/c forms of brain mapping says it‚pointless. Believe, and you‚ll move mountains.-",

"- From Adam/Eve story, we learn man has 2 toil 2 make something happen. Toil is part of our nature as we ate from tree of knowledge of good & evil or ate from the tree of ‚awareness‚. Being made in the image of God, gives us free will, the ability to choose, the ability to rise.-",

"- If the government is denying remote viewing, how do they explain my situation in terms of what‚happening to me, through what‚justified as innocent fun or entertainment?-",

an interesting link: https://t.co/UDCg9gUfAA

"- people are so busy wanting 2 see next tantalizing thing in my situation or watch apparent guy w/everything get screwed, ur oblivious 2 fact some form of mind manipulation is occurring. R people so stupid to believe that by letting this happen 2 me, it won‚t happen 2 them?-",

"- lemme guess: while making some retarded point about electronic devices, some of you think it‚all smoke and mirrors or the result of ‚hacking through cell phone cameras and mics or hacking a laptop.‚ Maybe you think theres hacking of cc tv cameras at supermarkets-",

"- I just don‚t understand, how even if it was a series of tech hacks or legit ‚remote viewing‚(searchable term) with legit mind reading, how people remain calm, how mental health issues aren‚t on the rise. -",

"- ur so glued to my reaction to something that i cannot hear, conveying to you, what I think about you when you walk or drive by, that ur ignoring something could legitimately be reading your mind-I‚m the distraction to your reality‚-",

"- it‚scary for me because there‚the implication of foul play in my life while leaving me to be royally screwed by our government pretending to be a school or kids or some family show. Something is studying all of you.-",

"- you hear on the news about a mob robbing an Apple Store or shootings. People are less hinged than before. How is there not more chaos with the reality of mind reading and mind control?-",

"- people believe the most stupid made up fancy smancy sounding words like predictive analytics or people ‚believing what they want to‚. Psychology is Americas way of explaining away the supernatural in people‚lives.-",

"- maybe even the mind reading aspect is explained away, leaving people tempted and susceptible to just accepting it: -",

"- thru observation & being guy in something for a decade, & knowing what should & shouldn‚t be possible: legally, realistically, practically- I‚m assuming this has to do w/brain mapping, fMRIs, saying something in my head & recording it or seeing which emotion lights up-",

"- I recall Obama talking about mapping out the brain as an initiative‚are American presidents okaying this massive secret against me? Was he talking about mapping my brain?-",

"- Do you really think when ‚remote viewing‚ has been a topic for so long that the crude form of mind reading I mentioned 2 tweets ago is the only way to read a mind?-",

"- & thing about my situation? Its foundation or what it‚built on, are a series of crime by university officials, and students I‚ve filed several complaints about. Is the government so sadistic against a brown man that they give people he complained about, access 2 his brain?!-",

"- they think it‚okay to do this or justifiable until I give specifics about everything 2 some1 who will never acknowledge my situation. I used my senses & words like ‚platforms‚ 2 describe my situation.-",

"- R orchestrators waiting 4 me 2 use exact science term 2 believe I know what‚going on? R they waiting 4 me 2 psychically say all their names in place of labels like orchestrators?Whats an orchestrator? The guy or gal running my unheard of situation. Can U imagine my stress?-",

"- once again, check out terms like ‚stargate project‚ on Google, or ‚remote viewing Miami herald‚ 2 see newspaper article online. Government denied these things were happening as recent as 2017. So if they‚re still lying, how are they explaining & hiding what‚happening to me?!",

"- if something is waiting for me to somehow magically list extreme specifics to my situation, in order to see if its still humane, please bear in mind that \"experienced torture/perceived threats\" are still those things, no matter what language its stated in. -",

"- If I were mute, no words. If I was disabled, I'm just a sitting duck. End my invisible torture now. Only in America can things like this happen for more than a decade.",

"I like 2 use Twitter or X to convey my perspectives or truths. However, the service posts thoughts, extending beyond 1 tweet, in order of most recent post. It results in long thoughts posting backwards. U tend 2 know that 1 tweet is part of something bigger b/c of dashes.-",

- everything I posted today I've put right side up (not ordered by most recent tweet) on rare days like today in the link to my Tumblr page below: https://t.co/ffoLl7jVFC

- how many things will people just dismiss or accept passively‚the amount of detail that sounds off with things like the Denver airport? Towards the end there‚a good quote: ‚comedy is a method to dismiss horrific reality.‚ https://t.co/usHWNxt6UQ

"- but the theme of that clip might take away the reality to my situation. The amount of care and attention I give to detail and then it gets massaged with nice sounding things from me or others.-",

-attached clip makes good point in audio. video or images are irrelevant.It‚about what he‚saying. But you‚d be surprised how little people listen. People usually get gist of what every1 else is saying. To shun the attentive in society something condescending is directed.- https://t.co/TLQd38y5xP

- Again here too it‚about the audio that happens to be from the YouTube channel ‚The Why Files‚ on a conspiracy. Famous saying: ‚you‚re not paranoid if ‚‚ÄòThey‚ are‚ out to get you.‚ https://t.co/kkuqtphtKo

"RT @RennyJi: - everything I posted today, I've put right side up (not ordered by most recent tweet), on rare days like today, in the link t

"RT @RennyJi: I like 2 use Twitter or X to convey my perspectives or truths. However, the service posts thoughts, extending beyond 1 tweet,

"I always pictured self as one trying 2 get thru school or some present hurdle is, so that I could pave way 2 living/enjoying life I.e. minding own business. But who does ‚the government‚ target?- those in solitude, without much family/friends or some1 wholl disclose info 2 them.",

There‚this growing theme about the multiverse or transcendentalism in movies and tv shows. But what about themes like in the book 1984 and the thought police? & Did you know about people who are remote viewers for information gathering? Check out: https://t.co/08g1Wdu2jG

"#wednesdaythought #wednesdayvibe#Mindfulness#ProblemSolving #Awareness#Conspiracy#BigBrother#1984xAudible #Orwellian #Dystopia#mindcontrol #mind",

0 notes

i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend · 3 years

Text

Relationship Stahl ~ Charlie Conway x Adam Banks

A/N: Hi all, I'm on my Mighty Ducks bullshit, so sorry not sorry. This is just for fun. It's postcanon - could be canon with the show. I don't specifically go against anything. But yeah. Enjoy this fic for a movie that came out over 25 years ago. *Posts fic and runs away*

Summary: Charlie and Adam are idiots. And they finally figure that out thanks to Charlie's pen pal.

Characters/Pairings: Charlie Conway/Adam Banks, Charlie Conway, Adam Banks, Connie Moreau, Guy Germaine, Fulton Reed, Gunnar Stahl

Rating: T

Word Count: 2800

Warnings: Language ( I think that's it)

^True love if I ever saw it ;)

Charlie grinned at his laptop as he fired off his enthusiastic response to the latest email from his pen pal before flipping open his phone. Instead of scrolling through his contacts, he dialed the number he knew by heart.

“I literally just dropped you off,” his best friend laughed when he picked up on the third ring.

“And I couldn’t bear to be without you,” Charlie quipped back.

“What do you want, Charlie?”

Adam’s voice was undeniably fond and it made Charlie’s stomach flutter.

“How do you feel about going to the Wilds game on Saturday?”

“How’d you swing those tickets?”

Charlie shrugged even though Adam couldn’t see him. “I know a guy. So are you in? We can grab drinks with some of the ducks afterwards.”

He could practically hear Adam shaking his head and it made Charlie’s smile widen. He knew what his answer would be.

“Yeah, I’m in. Of course I’m in. I’ll pick you up at 5?”

“Sounds good.”

“Are the other ducks coming?

“I’m gonna see who’s around.”

“Alright. Can’t wait. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

Charlie smiled at the question in his voice.

“Of course. I’ll call you after work.”

“Good night, Charlie.”

“Night. Banksy. Text me when you get home, alright?”

“Will do.”

Adam was wearing a Minnesota Wilds Jersey and a pair of tight-fitting jeans, when he knocked on the door of Charlie’s house.

He checked his watch. He was early.

He was always early.

Charlie probably wouldn’t be ready for another half hour, so he was surprised when the door swung open – at least until he saw Casey Conway’s smiling face.

“Adam, honey, how are you?” she cooed as she pulled him inside and into a tight hug.

“I’m great, Mrs. Conway. You’re looking lovely this evening.”

She swatted at him, but he saw her genuine smile. “Always a charmer.”

“How are you? How’s the diner?”

“I’m great. The diner is doing well. Business has really increased since we reopened after the renovations. We still have our regulars, but we’re getting more of a younger crowd too.”

“That’s awesome. And so well deserved.”

Adam could still remember when Charlie had sprinted into their college dorm room talking a mile a minute. He’d gleaned that there was a long lost uncle who’d passed and left his mother a rather large inheritance, and she was going to use that to buy out the diner that she’d been helping run for years.

Charlie had been so excited he’d nearly fell over because he forgot to breathe. Adam had spent the summer helping to paint and decorate the newly renovated diner.

“It’s been way too long since you’ve come over for dinner. Are you free next week?”

“Would Tuesday work?”

“Perfect. That’s my early night. And I’ll make your favorite pot pie.”

Adam grinned at the ceiling as he rocked back on his heels.

“You’re the best, Mrs. C.”

“Well, I won’t hold you up. I’m afraid I’ve already made Charlie late. I’ll see you Tuesday.”

“See you then.”

She gave him another quick hug before scurrying out the door.

Adam sighed as he checked his watch.

“Hey, Spazaway. Hurry up or we’re gonna be late!” he yelled up the stairs.

“I’m coming! Relax, cake-eater!”

There were several thumps as Charlie hopped on one foot to get his shoe on and then a slam of his bedroom door, but by the time he made it downstairs he looked perfectly disheveled in a cool way instead of a sloppy way. Classic Charlie. It’d be irritating if it wasn’t so attractive.

“Hey, Banksy. See, 5:15 right on time.”

“I told you I’d pick you up at 5,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, but we both know that at this point you tell me you’ll pick me up 30 minutes before we actually have to leave. So technically, I’m 15 minutes early,” Charlie grinned and slung an arm around his shoulder.

Adam huffed but couldn’t argue. Charlie was right. He’d learned a long time ago never to trust Charlie to be punctual, so he had started telling him earlier times in the hope that they’d actually arrive places before the events were over.

“It’s gonna be a great night.”

“Are any of the others coming?”

“Connie, Guy, and Fulton. Everyone else was busy.”

“That’ll be fun,” Adam admitted as he climbed into the car.

Secretly, he’d kind of been hoping that it would just be him and Charlie, but he shoved that thought away. It would be good to go out with some of his oldest friends.

“Yeah. It will.”

The five ducks were happily chatting and catching up, laden down with food as they waited for the game to start.

Guy was the first to notice the name after the national anthem.

“Do you think Stahl is the same one we faced from Iceland?”

“I don’t know,” Adam shrugged. “How common of a name do you think it is?”

“Remember when you had that massive crush on Gunnar, Charlie?” Connie teased before taking a sip of her soda.

“I didn’t have a crush on Gunnar.”

“You so did,” Fulton laughed, nudging. “How many hours did you spend watching tapes of his signature shot?”

“That was research,” Charlie insisted, though his cheeks were slightly pink.

“Yeah, you definitely needed to spend all that time on just Gunnar Stahl and not the rest of Iceland,” Guy faux agreed with an exaggerated wink.

Adam remained quiet. He remembered Charlie’s “not a crush” all too well. He wasn’t proud to admit it, but he’d been jealous at the time.

At first it had been, look at this shot. Or look at this play.

And then after the games it was, he’s so nice and cool. He called me ‘Captain Duck’.

Charlie hadn’t shut up about him until they were on the plane home and he promptly knocked out on Adam’s shoulder. Number ninety-nine didn’t have it in him to be jealous when he got to have a sleeping Charlie Conway on top of him.

Tuning back into the conversation after his quick jaunt down memory lane, Adam realized they were still ribbing Charlie.

“Okay, fine. I might have had a little crush on him. I was young. I was still figuring myself out,” Charlie admitted.

“Figures your first crush would be on a hockey player,” Fulton pointed out.

“Who said he was my first crush?”

Adam swore Charlie’s gaze darted to him, and he felt his cheeks heat up.

“Well you literally never talked about anybody else like that before him,” Guy said.

“Except Banks,” Fulton added.

The three of them looked at Adam and he knew he was bright red. They all knew he’d had a crush on Charlie when they were kids. And that he still sort of had a crush on him. He could kick Fulton right now, and he would have if Charlie wasn’t sitting in between them.

“I still talk about Banksy all the time.”

“I’m right here,” Adam finally managed to grumble.

Charlie grinned and nudged him with his shoulder, before throwing an arm around him.

“Are we really gonna sit here and argue over who I did or did not have a crush on twenty something years ago?”

“Yes.” The other three nodded emphatically.

Charlie rolled his eyes.

“Alright fine. Yes, I had a crush on him. But laugh all you want. You have that crush to thank for these seats,” Charlie reminded them smugly.

“What do you mean?” Adam choked out as the others gasped.

Charlie looked at the four flabbergasted ducks in confusion.

“Gunnar got me the tickets. I thought you guys knew.”

“We didn’t know that,” Guy nearly shouted.

“You kept in touch with him all these years?” Connie asked softly.

Their captain shrugged.

“We were pen pals. And now we email every few weeks.”

Adam’s heart clenched in something that felt a lot like jealousy – a lot like when he was 14. He turned his attention to the game, Stahl was on the ice. Adam couldn’t help but track his movements. It had been years since he moved like that. Another squeeze.

It was going to be a long night.

Charlie noticed the instant Adam went rigid, but he couldn’t understand why. After all, he was the one being teased for a 20 year old crush that only lasted for a minute.

He tried to nudge his best friend and get a response, but Adam’s eyes were glued to the game. That wouldn’t have worried Charlie, but the tight set of his jaw was nothing like his usual relaxed joy at the games. That was one of the reason Charlie had made it a point to go to as many hockey games with Adam as he could. He loved to observe him while he watched the game. But right now, his expression was stony.

When Gunnar managed a hat trick early in the third, Adam abruptly excused himself, saying he needed to go to the bathroom.

“What’s up with Banks?” Fulton voiced Charlie’s question aloud.

Charlie shrugged. “No clue.”

Connie rolled her eyes.

“Boys. He’s jealous.”

“Of what?”

“God, Charlie, are you that oblivious?”

His brow furrowed and he stared at her.

“What are you talking about?”

She huffed and shook her head.

“Nope. If you can’t figure it out after 25 years, you’re on your own.”

Adam was less grumpy, but still pretty sedate when he returned with only a few minutes left to go.

“You alright?” Charlie asked in a low voice as he settled back into his seat.

“Yeah. All good. Long line for the bathroom.”

Charlie didn’t believe him, but shrugged it off as the Wilds managed a late game comeback and beat the Anaheim Mighty Ducks and they were all on their feet cheering.

The five of them waited outside the side exit where the players would come out for Gunnar. The former Iceland captain signed a few autographs before he caught sight of Charlie and waved, flashing him a big smile.

“Good to see you, Captain Duck!” he shouted as he pulled Charlie into a tight hug.

“Good to see you too, Gunnar. Nice playing tonight.”

“Thank you.” Gunnar turned his attention to the rest of the Ducks. “It’s good to see you all too.”

There were various murmurs of agreement, before an awkward silence fell.

“Drinks?” Charlie finally suggested.

“Definitely.”

Drinks helped. Everyone loosened up by the second round. Even Adam, though he was not that talkative. He could see why Charlie would have kept in touch with the Icelander. He really was quite charming.

That did not help.

When Charlie stepped away from the table to get another pitcher, Gunnar slid into his vacated seat. Adam panicked for a moment. Guy and Connie were deep in conversation and Fulton had gone to the bathroom, it was just the two of them.

“You know, Captain Duck still never shuts up about you.”

“Still?” Adam asked, fixated on the word.

“At the Goodwill Games, when we spoke for the first time at the closing ceremony, Charlie wouldn’t stop raving about you. How he’d been worried about you being hurt. He even glared at Sanderson. And in his letters, he always talked about you. In every single one. I think I knew more about how you were doing than I did about him.”

“Sorry?”

Adam had no idea how to respond. Gunnar chuckled and shook his head.

“It’s sweet. I’m glad the two of you have made it this far. You’re a good pair.”

Adam’s jaw dropped and he floundered for an answer.

“Thanks?”

“Thanks what?”

Of course Guy chose that moment to resurface from his conversation.

“For saying I played well back in ’94,” Adam lied unconvincingly.

Charlie’s return halted the conversation, and Adam couldn’t help but think about what Gunnar had said. Why would Charlie be talking about him? Did Gunnar think they were together? Why did Gunnar think they were together?

His head was spinning. And it definitely wasn’t the alcohol. Per usual, it was all Charlie Conway’s fault.

Charlie was playing with the edge of his jersey when Adam pulled up to his house.

“Do you want to come in for a bit?” he offered.

“Yeah, sure,” Adam agreed.

“Oh. Okay. Cool.”

Charlie had been expecting him to bail. That was what Adam did when things got tense between them, so his easy agreement caught him off guard.

He pulled two beers from the fridge and took a moment to steel himself before rejoining Adam in the living room.

“It was a great game.”

“Yeah. Ducks were smart when they got Gunnar.”

“Definitely.”

“So, why didn’t you tell any of us that you were still talking to him?”

The former captain tried to gauge Adam’s mood, but he was surprisingly nonchalant.

“I didn’t really think about it. When we were writing actual letters, I’d get one maybe three times a year. So it just never came up. And then we started emailing and it was just something I did. It never seemed like a big deal.”

“So it’s not because you’ve been carrying a torch for him all these years?” Adam asked shyly.

The laughter that bubbled out of Charlie was loud and somewhat alarming.

“Of course not, Banksy. I mean, yes, I had a crush on him. For what seems like five seconds at this point in our lives. He’s just someone I liked to keep in touch with. Another person to talk hockey with. Honestly, I thought we’d last like two letters and then never talk again.”

“Have you seen him before?”

“No. Tonight’s the first time I’ve seen him since we left the games. This isn’t some big torrid affair I’ve been hiding. It’s a pen pal. Who got us tickets to a Wilds game.”

“That was pretty cool.”

“Are we good?”

Adam nodded. “We’re good. Sorry, it was just unexpected.”

“That’s fair. I really thought I had told you guys at some point over the years. Sorry I sprang it on you… unintentionally.”

“No worries.”

It was comfortable for a bit. Charlie put on ESPN and they caught the highlights from the other games that had been played. Somehow he ended up leaning heavily into Adam’s side.

“Was he your first?” He asked as the commentators went over the same play for the third time.

“Was who my first what?” Charlie asked, letting his head loll to the side so he could look at Adam without pulling away.

“Was Gunnar your first crush?”

It came out in a sigh.

“No. He wasn’t.”

“Who was it?”

“Guess.”

“Charlie.”

“I’m serious. Guess. I’ll even give you 5 questions to try and figure it out.”

Charlie wasn’t going to admit it without a fight, and Adam knew it. Curiosity got the better of him.

“Fine. Was your first crush a hockey player?”

“Yes.”

“Someone on our team?”

Charlie nodded, sitting up so he could watch him more closely.

“Boy or girl?”

“Boy.”

“Peewees or Goodwill Games?”

“Met him in Peewees. Realized I had a crush on him during the Goodwill Games.”

“Did he go to Eden Hall?”

“Yes. I even roomed with him at one point. That’s five. Time to guess.”

He was certain he’d know now.

“Fulton?” Adam asked innocently.

Charlie hung his head.

“You cannot possibly be this obtuse, Banksy.”

“What? You met him in Peewees, he was with us at the games and at Eden hall and you roomed with him sophomore year.”

“Christ,” he huffed. “It’s you, Banksy. Not Fulton. God, definitely not Fulton. He’s like my brother. It’s you.”

“Me? You had a crush on me?”

“I mean, can you call it a crush if it lasts 25 years?”

Adam’s jaw hit the floor.

“You still have a crush on me?” His voice was small, so much like that 10 year old who’d been forced to leave the Hawks. But there was hope.

Charlie, momentarily panicked before resigning himself to his fate. It had to come out.

“No, Adam. I don’t have a crush on you now.”

His best friend deflated slightly.

“I’m in love with you now. I have been for as long as I can remember. Even if I didn’t realize it. And I know you probably don’t feel the same way –“

“I do. Feel the same way. God, Charlie. I’ve been in love with you for ages.”

“Seriously?”

Adam nodded once, resolutely before Charlie’s lips were on his.

The kiss was quick and hungry and it left them both wanting more.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Charlie demanded in a whisper as he pulled back, touching their foreheads together.

“Why didn’t you?” Adam sniped back.

“Touche. God so much lost time.”

“We didn’t lose anything, Charlie. We were together. That’s never a loss.”

“I love you, Banksy.”

“I love you too, Charlie.”

A/N: Yeah so I love them. I hope you enjoyed this. I stand by my theory that Charlie had a brief infatuation with Gunnar Stahl. Thanks for reading!

#Charlie Conway x Adam Banks #Charlie Conway #Adam Banks #Chadam #Mighty Ducks #d2 the mighty ducks #d3 the mighty ducks #the mighty ducks

47 notes · View notes

startanewdream · 3 years

Note

F, Y, C

Thanks, Anon! :)

C: What member do you identify with most?

I always get confused with this question. Member of what? If I read it as character, I like to see my optimist in how I write Harry in any Jily Lives world.

Y: A character you want to protect.

HA, Harry, and that's why I write stories about him with his parents 😂

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Ohh, I think dialogues are what I write the most? My prose never flows as good as others, so I'm all about dialogue. Here's a snipper from Five Stages of Starflower that I just love because it's happy and how I feel how James, Lily and Sirius acted around each other:

‘Come on, say it.’

Lily exchanges an amused look with James.

‘Say what?

‘That I am awesome!’ He places a wet kiss on Lily’s cheek before doing the same with James.

‘Padfoot! What we’ve talked about you licking people’s faces?’

‘You need to talk about it?’ Lily asks. James nods seriously.

‘You wouldn’t guess how much.’

‘Hey, we are in an important discussion here! My awesomeness!’

‘Exactly why are you awesome?’

‘Lily, Lily. Let’s not go through the five stages of Lily Evans’ acceptance of Sirius Black’s awesomeness, shall we?’

‘I will keep in denial for a long time.’

‘You hurt me, Lily. You would think snogging James would make you happier.’

‘Oh, we are snogging now?’

‘Please .’ Sirius rolls his eyes, haughty. ‘Those stupid grins in your faces. The way you can’t stop touching each other. All that amount of hours you spent in the Prefects Room.’

‘We are Heads, Padfoot, we need to be there.’

‘I’ll have to say it, then? Evans, your shirt was buttoned wrongly. James, there is a huge love bite on your neck. Unlike you two, I can see things.’

#lovely asks

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greylunar · 4 years

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Hey!! I'm a hot mess right now who cant enjoy art anymore so if you could help me solve this out I would appreciate but i understand if you can't so here's the deal: Is being rich while people are starving unethical? And if so how can I enjoy my favorite artists, rich people, knowing this? I mean it's obvious you want you and your loved ones to live comfortably but there's a point where is just too much, right? And all these big artists that I love they are way above the threshold of too much.

This is probably my favorite ask I’ve ever gotten only because I wasn’t really expecting anyone to ask me about this particular political and philosophical question, and I, an anarcho-socialist English major, have some thoughts on the subject, to say the least. Let me preface this by saying there’s no right answer to this question, as much as I wish there was one, and I can only give my opinion and how I’ve chosen to go about my life. That said the majority of people on this site are still pretty young. I’d encourage you to take my opinion with a grain of salt and ask other people you trust and read more theory so you can form what you think is the right way of going about consuming art for yourself! Regardless, I’m really proud of you for asking this and interrogating these sorts of topics within yourself, it can be hard to maintain the balance of keeping hope while attempting to live ethically within capitalist society, but the fact that you are trying is commendable, and it’s my hope that more people asking questions like this will bring about the change we wish to see in the world c:

Alright, answer under the break!

For starters, yes, I do believe being rich is unethical. While there is a multitude of reasons for this being the case, the one you brought up (hunger) is more than enough reason on its own. Now, no one rich person could end hunger, or at least not permanently. Estimates on how much it would cost to end world hunger range from 7 billion to 265 billion USD annually according to the IFPRI, which sounds wild right off the bat, since those are two unfathomably different numbers, but basically the difference boils down to the 7 billion dollar approach aiming to reduce malnutrition to World Health Assembly goals in about 15 years, and the 265 billion plan aiming to actually end world hunger (reach a “zero hunger target”) within about 20 years by targeting the sources of hunger, mainly being poverty and agricultural infrastructure.

So when you hear people say things like “why doesn’t Bezos end world hunger” one short answer is that he can’t. But the fact that he can’t doesn’t really matter because what really matters is he’s not trying. Without getting into liquidizing stocks and all that nonsense, if the ten richest people in the world made a one-time donation of 60 billion each, we would have enough and then some for the first two years of that zero hunger target plan by that alone. And the “poorest” of those ten billionaires would still have a net worth of 15 billion, which is still an unfathomable amount of money.

I say all of this to point out why it still matters to say the rich aren’t doing enough to end world hunger, and not to say that this is my ideal plan for solving it (which involves a lot more social restructuring and abolishing the value-form). I think if someone wakes up with billions in assets it a capitalist society in which the median “living wage” (which includes covering basic expenses, building savings, and having “fun money”) in my country is roughly $67,700, they must have woken up on one of those days and thought “oh hey what if I ended hunger in my home town” or “oh hey what if I funded a food co-op in a food desert nearby” or maybe even “what if I fucked around and tried to end world hunger” and then they didn’t. They turned around and went back to sleep, or went to a business meeting where they continued to exploit their workers or did whatever it is they do that I will never understand. And I think that is unethical.

Here’s the thing, and I’m sure some people will disagree with me on this one (I’m more than happy to read anyone’s replies and take them into account going forward) there’s a difference between corporate wealth and celebrity wealth. Do I fucking hate looking at pictures of Drake’s mansion? Yes, completely. Do I think that, like Mark Zuckerberg, he should be tried for crimes not limited to aiding and abetting ethnic violence in Ethiopia and failing to remove a militia event in Kenosha in which people planned to kill BLM protesters and then did, proceeding to lie about it in order to continue to profit off of the traffic and internet buzz white supremacists provide his site with? No, because Drake is not Mark Zuckerberg and there is a difference between what crimes it takes to make and uphold a 170 million dollar net worth versus a 98 billion dollar one. While I’m not jazzed to say the least about millionaire celebrities lounging in their wealth, in a way they are a very successful worker being rewarded by a capitalist society in exchange for a service they provide. So yeah, I feel more comfortable cheering on John Boyega for succeeding in a system set against him than I do any corporate capitalist.

That said, there are ways to support the art you love and strive to consume art more ethically. Support local artists, black artists and other creators of color, artists who support sustainable printmaking or give part of their proceeds to charities you care about. In terms of music, for every band you like that has problematic views there are thirty small bands with similar sounds you can support if you go looking. If you find a band you think is doing great work, support them on Bandcamp or buy a CD, and if you really want to listen to Kanye’s Power because its just that kind of day, listen to him on Spotify, where they’re literally paying people jack shit for it. If you’re going to participate in a capitalist society (and if you’re not, let me know how since I haven't figured that one out yet haha), reward the people you feel good about supporting.

Speaking of which! One of my favorite rappers noname has an online bookclub that uplifts POC voices by featuring two books a month. It’s awesome, noname is awesome, and I feel good whenever I listen to their album for the thirtieth time because telefone is the best. There’s art out there for you to feel good about loving. Sometimes it just takes a little digging to find.

I think my last note is going to be this: art is human. Art isn’t capitalist. People have been making art before capitalism and they’ll be making art after, art is an expression of the pain and hope and past and future of us, and we need it. To try and cut yourself off from consuming art to distance yourself from capitalism won’t work, because we need art to be human, and it was never capitalist in the first place. You aren’t evil or unethical for wanting to consume art, that’s the most natural urge in the world. It is a sign that our system is unethical if it makes us feel guilty for the things that make us human. So consume art, love it, love the people who make it, because its the good stuff. It’s the stuff that makes the rest of this more hopeful and more worth it. I know this can all feel like so much sometimes. But you’re not alone. There so many people out there working to make the world better and brighter, and making art to get us through it. I love you, and I hoped this helped even a little bit and I’m sorry its so long haha. I hope today is a little better for you than yesterday, and tomorrow’s even better than today c:

#long post #like longest fucking post sorry #tal asks #noahvincent33 #cw violence #cw death #what else do people blacklist #capitalism #bezos #cw hunger #cw food #ask to tag #taliesin blathers

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mytastessuck · 3 years

Text

Gorillaz: Humanz

SHere it is, the comeback tour! I was so excited for this album, I sucked all the singles that came out before I could download the album. This album basically reminded me of the reasons I love Gorillaz. All of them. One particular reason a little too well...

Okay, let's get the elephant out of the room. This album is a bit controversial among the community for playing a little too hard to one of Gorillaz' strengths: showcasing cool artists. There are more than a few tracks where Damon doesn't even show up. Hell, my favorite track doesn't even have it on him. Me, I honestly don't care about that as long as I get to hear good music but for the rest of you die hard Gorillaz fans? Just think of this as a compilation album like NOW That's What I Call Alternative/Indie Hip-Hop/R&B/Electronica/Pop.

See? Rolls off the tongue. Now let's get started.

1. Intro: I Switched My Robot Off

Nice. Real ominous. Gorillaz really know how to build up a presentation. Feels like you're walking through the doors of the doors to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Anybody remember Legends of the Hidden Temple? Were there doors on that stage? Anyway, awesome.

10/10

2. Ascension

Holy hell, Vince really knocks it out of the park on this one. Different beat, nice flow, social commentary...He was not fucking around on this track. Damon's barely on the track but Vince makes up for it with his existential rhymes and chorus back-up. Man, Gorillaz has gotta take advantage of gospel more often.

9/10

3. Strobelite

That didn't take long, did it? Anyway, this is my favorite song on the album. Peven has an incredible voice, the music psychically compels you to dance and...that's it. Sometimes, well usually with me, you just need to go with Simple Yet Awesome. Have a good voice and a good beat. This song has both and I'm pretty sure that one day, a scientist will hear this song and will be inspired by it to cure diabetes.

100/10

4. Saturn Barz

Ah, the lead single from the album. Remember the 360 house, everyone? Yeah, you remember. Glad to have Gorillaz welcome back Reggae into their line-up with Popcaan manning the helms. He and Damon tag-team the eardrums with the power of dread as the instrumentation makes you feel like you're in a haunted house. Welcome back, guys.

25/10

5. Momentz

WELCOME BACK, GUYS! De La Soul returns to say some real shit about time and how you should, respect and stuff. Seriously, awesome track. Kicks so much ass and you can even dance to it as you wonder if this MOMENT will be one of the last times when you feel really happy. Nice...

9/10

6. Interlude: The Non-Conformist Oath

Hey, Steve Martin! I like to imagine a bunch of assholes listening to this and...just not getting it. Not us though. We get it. We're smart. Smarter than those guys...

10/10

7. Submission

This song had to grow on me but years after I got the album and after I learned to appreciate Danny Brown a little more like all humans should, this song became one of my favorites off the album. Don't worry Kelela, he doesn't carry the whole song. Her voice is so beautiful that it can calm a charging rhino or a coked-up Connor McGregor. These make the song a lot classier than it had any right being.

90/10

8. Charger

She's beauty, she's Grace...she's also Jones. Man, I haven't heard from this woman since Corporate Cannibal and she has clearly been keeping up practice. God, how can a woman's laughter both scare and arouse me? Damon's no slouch on this track either, singing about the monster that keeps us all tethered: the charger. I kid, I kid. Hey, did Damon really get a boner on stage when he sung this or are you guys messing with me? Message me if you know.

9/10

9. Interlude: Elevator Going Up

On a recent trip, I tried to go up the elevator but it was card-activated so a desk lady had to help me. That's it.

8/10

10. Andromeda

Damon has to do the heavy lifting here and his muscles have not completely wasted away from lack of use. He tells us to take in our heart and you know what? I did. I took this song directly in my heart...and my playlist.

50/10

11. Busted And Blue

Yeah, this song is a bummer. A good bummer. It's Broken's younger brother who joined the army to make his parents proud after he couldn't get into university like his older brother who managed to form a separate family with his squad and began to think that maybe he was good enough after all before his squad gets bombed and, as he lies legless dying painfully on the ground, a blue butterfly land directly on his outstretched busted hand...

Directed by Mervyn LeRoy

10/10

12. Interlude: Talk Radio

You ever wonder how we get voices in machines? I know you think it's a complicated process but I know a dude who picked up the radio in his electric fan once. Think about it.

8/10

13. Carnival

Again, this song had to grow on me but one day, while I was thinking about Gamzee for a godforsaken reason, I thought "Geez, he talks about the Dark Carnival and the Dark Carnival isn't even some of ICP's best days. What's a good song about a carnival?" Anyway, Anthony can spin a person's mind and mind around just by singing. He's wild.

80/10

14. Let Me Out

Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Mavis was Vince's mother? She's not but that would be funny as well as cool. Her and Pusha T bang on the walls of this track as they rant about the politics at the time of this song. Yeah, they're talking about Trump. That car horn can't protect you forever, you orange bastard.

9/10

15. Interlude: Penthouse

Dear Penthouse: Hi. Does anyone check in on you, just you? I'm here to say I think you're important and you provide a necessary outlet for men to brag about being perverts. At least before the Youtube comment section existed.

Thanks for everything,

mytastessuck

8/10

16. Sex Murder Party

Ooooo, this track puts me in a funky mood. Like, there's a part but there's sex there...and MURDER. So you know it's an awesome party. Kick-ass, right? I know it's kick-ass. Keep dancing, people.

11/10

17. She's My Collar

Pretty sexy song. Gotta love people vauging about being used in a song. That's why we love Offspring, that's why we love Damon on his knees onstage. Hey, there was a post that said Noodle wrote this song about her girlfriend. That was an excellent post. Well done.

9/10

18. Interlude: The Elephant

I SAID GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BASTARD!

8/10

19. Hallelujah Money

Ah, the technical first single. Remember when they said that they weren't going to put this song on the album? Anyway, this is exactly the song we needed after The Incident occurred. Benjamin manages to calm down an entire populace while Damon just fearfully wonders what our future will be like...and he's in the UK. This song is one long terrifying lullaby to an entire country...until the end, anyway.

75/10

20. We Got The Power

A great way to remind listeners that no matter what's happening, no matter who's in charge, we have the power change everything. An excellent message for people who were still recovering from The Incident.

10/10

21. Interlude: New World

Okay, the bonus tracks. Should be nothing special here, right? Just some B-sides and I've never shown favoritism towards B-sides, right?

8/10

22. The Apprentice

A nice song from the same Rag n' Bone Man who brought us "Human". Zebra manages to lay down some nice rhymes as Ray BLK backs them both up with the force of her voice. These guys should form a team with how well they work together. Oh, they should make a virtual band! All they need to do is find an artist...

9/10

23. Halfway To The Halfway House

A very nice song if a bit overshadowed by the others on the album. Still, Peven can't be beat when it comes to crooning and he raises a song from a solid C to a B.

8/10

24. Out of Body

This song had to grow on me also but when it did...lord, this song is weird. Hypnotic suggestions, telephone tones, the song starts then Zebra jumps in to help then who is this person?! Why are people applauding?! Who are you people?! Why are there so many crows gathering outside my house?!

60/10

25. Ticker Tape

Well well well, look who's back. Damon returns with his old friend Kali to join the accuser of the vain Carly Simon to beg us to stay on the album. Sorry Damon, but I got places to do and people to go. There's nothing you can do to convince me to stick around after how long this album already is.

9/10

26. Circle of Friendz

Huh. Seems like a riot is going on. Weird for Gorillaz to get this real. What, this guy is just going to keep saying Circle of Friendz again and again? Is this supposed to affect me? Get real. It'll take a lot more than a nice voice and implications to...

To...

...

...Maybe I should listen to the album again.

11/10

Album score: 25/10

Damn, that took a while. Shouldn't be the case next week when we cover The Now Now. See you then!

#gorillaz #humanz #music #review

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misha-moose-dean-burger-lover · 6 years

Text

*in the middle of a case*

Wise Old Informant™: And based on all that evidence, I think we're dealing with a cult.

Dean: Awesome. But like on a scale of the Paris Hilton fandom to the Thules, where does it score?

Sam: Somewhere in the middle. So probably Illuminati level?

Dean: well except for the demonic science nerds with money pouring out their asscracks and Latin triangles tattooed on their dicks, right? Because that's really not my thing. *looks at Cas for reaction but there are none. Shrugs and laughs himself*

Sam: you're so far from correct, it is really not funny.

Dean: shut up I'm hilarious. You're just being bitchy because you fanboy for the Langdons of this World and cults *laughs, and looks at Cas for a reaction but gets none*

Sam: *bitchface*

Cas: *unaffected* So, do you have any descriptions of their rituals?

Dean: yeah, do you? Are they the sacrificing llamas type? Dancing around bonfires for tentacled aliens? Community orgies? *laughs again, and even Sam has to grin but Cas doesn't bat an eye*

Wise Old Informant™: No, they pray like we do. Different deities though, and way weirder than the ones we pray to.

Dean: are you sure? Because like Cas here is a cousin of Jesus Christ and a bunch of other evil dicks, and they're all sons of the creator, this home-alone called Chuck, who sings suckily in the shower and watches cat videos, but go off I guess

*now, Dean laughs with Sam but not Cas, and the Wise Old Informant™ looks at them worriedly*

Wise Old Informant™: I'm sorta religious, so just not going to react. So yeah, there's a hierarchy. The beginners stand. There's prostrating at the feet of statues. And then there's sitting.

Sam: yes. The most powerful position is on your knees.

Dean: ...that's what she said

Wise Old Informant™: *laughs*

Sam: *annoyedly laughs*

Dean: *proud of himself but Cas is as stoic as ever, so he finally loses it* Dude. what is wrong with you? You're not on a strike! You're allowed to laugh!

Cas: I would, if I, uh, felt the need to.

Dean: *irritated* what, like, angels can deactivate their sense of humor? And well, I think I'm on a roll here! This is comedy gold! Do you think I'm not funny, huh?

Cas: *polite* maybe we don't share the same sense of humor, Dean. If you want -

Dean: I don't need your pity laughs *mentally* challenge accepted.

*Dean decides that it's now a matter of his honor, and he'll make Cas laugh, come what may*

*while dealing with the Lucifer situation*

Sam: he's possessing some musician now ughhh

Dean: what some of us do for fame...

Dean: *sees Cas listening and takes it a step ahead* I mean, he's basically a Mean Girl now. He craves attention and would possess the President for drama™

Sam: *snicker*

Dean: I mean, think about it! He could just start driving a pink convertible and become friggin' Regina George next

Sam: *bursts out laughing*

*Dean looks at Cas to see if he laughed, but its like he doesn't even bother to react. Not even a smile*

Dean: ...you can do better Winchester

*In the middle of a vampire hunt*

Dean: *slicing some SOB's head off* Phew! Its basically routine now!

Cas: *admiring* you're very good at it, yes

Dean: *decides to seize the moment* they're just pretty bad at what they do. I mean sure, you sparkle just fine. But you don't need to shine out your ass for eternity to suck blood, just wear some headgear so that knifes don't slice through

Cas: *zoning out*

Dean: *desperate* heh I mean the only reason Twilight has all these movies is because it was those embassies against some more dumbasses. Throw in a hunter, and it would've been over before Pattinson could've cried out for the wolf with abs, Jake or whatever

Cas:

Dean: *mentally* its gonna take more efforts, but you'll get there

*Gabriel is flirting with a random woman*

Dean: *sees an opportunity and charges* for a guy his age, Gabriel sure seems to get laid a lot

Cas: yes *smiles* he has had a lot of practise

Dean: yeah that, and he has all these great lines, being an angel and everything

Cas: like?

Dean: *excited that it might work* oh come on Cas, what's the use of being an angel if you don't use the pick-up lines it brings?

Cas: I see.

Dean: *sees Cas sobering up and tries harder* you know like, the whole array of heaven related ones? "Heaven's missing an angel, I now see why"?

Cas: *serious* why, Dean?

Dean: no, its just a line, don't take it seriously

Cas: okay

Dean: *desperacito* There's more too! Like, like, "Are you my vessel? 'Cause I would love to get inside you!" *waits for reaction*

Cas:

Dean: it was funny, you ass

Cas: but how would that work like I'm a -

Dean: gODDAMMIT C A S!

*TFW sees a girl wearing a trenchcoat, crossing the street*

Dean: *mentally* I'm gonna Carpe the Fucking Diem out of this

Dean: LOOK Cas! She's wearing your trench - no, not yours, I mean, one just like it - but hey, guess what that means?

Cas: what?

Dean: you're finally in season

Cas:

Dean: get it? You're like a trendsetter? Your fashion is finally in style?? Get it????

Cas: ...yes?

Dean: *desperacito x 1234500016351903611* REACT TO IT THEN

Cas: OH! I completely forgot! I was supposed to laugh, wasn't I? Sam told me to look for cues when you spoke, but its much harder to know when to laugh when you speak than you think -

Dean: I swear to god Cas I'm goNNA -

Dean: and Sam, we need to have a fucking talk!? I'M HILARIOUS!! I DON'T NEED PITY LAUGHS

Sam: ...Sam thinks you do, Dean

*Many gruesome years later when all except Dean have forgotten about the challenge*

Sam: *teaching mode* and now you enter the name

Jack: I get to choose the name?

Sam: uh, go nuts *walks away*

Jack: *typing keenly* A - G - E - N - T B - I - E - B - E - R

Dean: *peeks* seriously kid?

Dean: *struck by a fabulous idea* HEY CAS! Remember the time you and Crowley used those fake-ass aliases when you went hunting behind our backs?

Cas: not really

Dean: *helpless, but too far gone to be brought back* You don't remember??? The Agent Beyonce and Z?

Cas: *grins* oh that. Yes, those were his idea

Dean: *spurred on* he was always an idiot. Seriously a miracle you 2 weren't caught that time! Close save!

Cas: I suppose

Dean: *dying because the moment is so close to falling flat, and jumping to the punchline* I mean, heh, if we'd not showed up, you would've moved on to the next city as Agent Kardashian and West *hopeful for a reaction, as he bats his eyes at Cas*

Cas: *polite* no we were not stupid

Dean:

Cas:

Dean:

Cas:

Dean: *sigh*

Cas: oH WAIT -

Dean: don't say it don't fucking say it. I give up okay? I'm done. I'm so done. I give up. I GIVE UP!

Cas: I'm sorry Dean, I'll laugh -

Dean: nO - I'VE G I V E N U P

BONUS

Jack: ...what's happening?

Sam: Sam keeps forgetting how new you are until moments like these happen

EPILOGUE

*Sam, Cas and Dean are reading up on archangel lore*

Cas: *to Sam* ...and that is how he uses all 6 wings to his advantage.

Sam: that information could really be useful when we take him on. All you know about archangels is really gonna be helpful Cas, I should write it down. Speak slower

Sam: I can't take all of it at once.

Dean: *tries to resist but can't* THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID *Cas is stoic as ever and Sam bitchfaces him*

Sam: grow up jerk

Dean: bitch *does the armpit cart thing to demonstrate just how grown up he is*

Cas, suddenly: *snickers*

Dean: did you just -

Cas: I - I mean, I just - *begins to chuckle as he replays it in his head*

Dean:

Cas: *rolling on the floor, full fledged laughing*

Dean:

Dean: I've been...its been...y E a r s...I mean - this is what makes you laugh...I mean...

Cas: *unable to breathe from the laughing, red in the face*

Dean: ...fArTS, CAS!?

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cancerbiophd · 6 years

Note

hey julia, im really sad because after a year or so of writing for a published paper, the prof analyzing the data found an inconsistency in my database and when he fixed it the new results he got changed the outline of our paper in a big way. i'm still getting primary authorship because i did all the data collecting and initial writing, but pretty much all i wrote is gonna have to be scrapped :( i was really proud of what i wrote and having it go through editing because it was mine (1/2)

(2/2)I feel so disappointed with everything though and i know it’s my first ever real writing experience but i was hoping it would work out a bit better :c im still gonna have access to see how the paper evolves and be invited to the talks about it, but it just isn’t mine anymore and i kind of feel like i failed, i was banking on this paper to apply for grad school because being published gives me an edge but it doesn’t feel like its my work anymore :( what do u do when u have a sad science day?

Oh maria /biiiig hug/ i’m so sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time. it’s ok to feel sad and disappointed because i know it’s tough to watch something you’ve worked so hard on get scrapped like that. but you know what? you’re tougher! and i know you’ll get through this.

Firstly, give yourself a warm hug for completing the monumental task that is writing a manuscript, regardless of what ended up happening. Finishing something so challenging is not trivial! And you know what, all those experience points you gained by going through this journey are yours to keep. So when it comes to writing another manuscript in grad school, you’ll know exactly what to do! And that’s pretty great, yeah?

Secondly, I know you feel bad, and that’s ok, but I want to slip a note into your thoughts that you have not failed, my friend. You have not failed. Mistakes happen, even to seasoned professionals, because mistakes are a part of life. I guarantee you that every single research lab in existence right now (and have existed) has had to go back to square one or two and start over at some point. And they did, and fixed what needed to be fixed, and then carried on to do great things. Sometimes you gotta erase what’s already on the paper to make room for something more beautiful.

If you feel this paper doesn’t feel like your baby anymore, that’s ok. I totally understand why you would feel that way, and if squishing and squeezing your emotions into accepting the paper like it was before is adding to the bad feels, then you don’t have to. You can just focus on and own the black and white facts of the paper: the experimental design, the science behind the data, the major conclusions, the impact on society, etc. There doesn’t have to be an emotional attachment to go with it if you don’t want to.

And you know what, the changes to this paper doesn’t change who you are. Maria: you are still the smart, funny, caring, kind, and passionate person that I’ve gotten to know you as. You’re still the awesome person who took the time to put together the most in-depth and hilaaarious powerpoint of fish and fauna to see while snorkeling in the Bahamas for me. You’re still the brilliant marine biologist who has a (really impressive!) CV that 100% reflects your passion and commitment to your work. You’re still a person who will leave the world a better place, and I know this because you’ve already made my world a better place. I feel so lucky to have you in my life.

I hope you’re starting to feel better now :) If not, here are some things I do if I have a Bad Science Day:

Cry it out. There’s an odd sort of comfort that comes after a good cry. So sometimes if I feel like I’ve been holding back, I exhale softly and let it all out. It doesn’t solve anything, I know, but I do feel a teeny bit better and a teeny bit more whole.

Write it out. Something I’ve learned about myself is that my brain tends to over-exaggerate things when it’s just swirling thoughts. But when I write it out and everything gets organized, it turns out things aren’t so bad after all. So give it a go, either in a word doc, an actual journal, or even a tumblr post (that you don’t have to publish, of course).

Talk it out. Related, going on a verbal rant (or even written rant to someone) helps in a similar way. Even if it’s in private to my favorite stuffed animal or a pet. Just anything to get the thoughts out!

Listen to “comfort” music. I have a playlist of my all-time favorite songs and I listen to it on the drive home and I always feel a lil better. It’s hard to not feel a little happy and carefree when your favorite jam comes on.

Sleep it off. Sometimes all I need is a good night’s sleep (or even a nap) to clear my head. Also I love sleeping, so it always feels good no matter what.

Do something comforting. Anything to release those sweet sweet endorphins. My ideas of comforting routines are: eating whatever I’m craving at the moment, watching a favorite TV show or movie (usually something I’ve already seen), curling up with a good book or magazine, scrolling through Tumblr, doing my nails, hugging my dog and/or husband until I feel better, and walking around Homegoods, my favorite store (I’d honestly live there if I could). Doing these things also helps in that it takes my mind off whatever’s bothering me, even temporarily.

Give myself a pep talk. Ok, oddly enough, the pep-talk-voice in my head is Gordon Ramsay. I don’t know how it manifested as him, but when he’s not yelling at chefs to get their shit together, he has a really encouraging and soothing voice! Anyway, sometimes he sits me down and tells me that everything is going to be ok, and here’s what we do next alright? Just one step at a time ok? That’s it. Good job. Good job.

Just keep working. Sometimes my Bad Science Day starts at 9 AM in the morning, or it’s just a continuous Bad Science Week/Month/Year. So I put those feelings on hold and just stick to my schedule and try to be as productive as I can. Because even if Experiment 1 didn’t work, Experiment 2 might, and if it does, I’ll feel a little better! And if Experiment 2 doesn’t work, well, at least I finished it, and I’ll still feel a little better! And in any case, my projects aren’t gonna do themselves, no matter how I feel. So in the wise words of Dory: “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!”

I talk to my PI. I’m super lucky to have an understanding PI, and I’ve talked to her about my frustrations on more than one occasion and she’s worked with me to come up with good solutions, or have said things to make me feel better. PIs are full of wisdom from experiencing their own fair share of Bad Science Days so they have lots of advice on how to feel better, such as looking at my results a different way so it goes form :( to :)

I let the passing of time lessen the hurt. Time doesn’t always heal, but it does make things that were terrible at the moment not so bad anymore. So if nothing else makes me feel better, at least I know “this too shall pass”.

I hope this helps. I know things are ugh right now, but you’re going to be ok. And I’m here for you, ok? Feel free to reach out via chat or email. I would very much like to help you feel better

#skinny-little-nobody #life advice

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ask-blue-link · 6 years

Note

Hey Dude, I'm feeling sentimental today so I wanna spill my guts to you. I've loved four swords since about 3rd or 4th grade, back in 2010 or something. And back then, I had bad bad anger issues. I hit friends and lashed out. It was bad. And I saw myself in Blue. I'm a catharsis kind of person, so seeing him be angry made me feel less like destroying everything in my path. I don't remember when I started watching you on deviantart, but it must have been around 2010-2011. (1/3)

“And you know, you might be going, "why is this actual baby child telling me his life story" and it's because I wanna say thank you. I was just getting on the internet and you were there drawing my favorite character, that was angry like me, and you made him less comedic, you gave him sympathy and help in the fics in your scraps. You were there and made me happy, made me feel safe. I watched your streams and I learned how to draw. (2/3)”“Because of you I learned I can wiggle my ears. And not entirely because of you, but because of the catharsis you and Blue gave me, I'm 17 now. Gonna be 18 later this year, and I rarely have an outburst. I don't follow you as closely as I did when I was a kid, but I want you to know that you're doing great work, and I'm really eternally grateful to you. Thank you so much. 💙(3/3)“

((Hello my name is Michaela and I’m a lil emotional right now

Wow, I hardly know what to say. I never really imagined my ask blog would do much other than provide some mild entertainment to people. I’m so, so glad my Blue gave you comfort as you learned- and you learned to draw! That’s awesome!! (Also high five to another rare ear-wiggler hell YEAH)

I never really figured I’d have much of an impact on anyone else’s life from this blog/my DA account- some entertainment, sure, but not much beyond that. I’m glad I did, though, and really glad it was such a positive one for you. I’m happy that I could be of help while you grew and learned c’: I’m proud of you, man.

I don’t update this blog as often as I used to, but I am still lingering around invisibly even while I’m not making content. Thank you for sending me this message- post-grad life has been stressing me out a lot lately (another reason I sadly don’t get to this blog much ack) and just- thank you. One of my biggest creative goals in life is to touch other peoples lives the way that other creators/game series have done to mine. Hearing that I already have.. might’ve cried a lil this morning.

Thank you, man- I’m glad I could give you the support you needed when you needed it, and I’m proud that you made it through to a better point in your life. Keep drawing, whether or not art is gonna be your career path- it’s also pretty cathartic in a different way, as I’m sure you’ve found out by now.You had help doing it, but ultimately you were the one who had the biggest impact on controlling your emotional state for the better. That takes a ton of strength- Blue would be proud of you, too.))

#I woke up to such a lovely message in my inbox and I'm just #holy moly #i wish you all the best anon you're strong as hell #ooc #Anonymous

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roboraindrop · 6 years

Text

Hey, so seeing as it's the day of selfship positivity, i thought I'd make a post for the friends I've made in this community! This by no means is everyone I've enjoyed interacting with, but these people are ones who have brought some form of joy and light through talking with me!

@0-055 Where do i start? You're so incredibly sweet, and on days when I've felt down, getting an encouraging and real message from you always makes me smile! Thank you for being so good to me, I appreciate you!!

@starbound-solivagant You have been amazingly kind to me in so many ways, and i appreciate it endlessly! You're a great friend to me, and you deserve all of the good things in the world! You're so strong and sweet, I hope you know how great you are!

@selfinserts Your ships are all wonderful and valid!! You're such a nice person, and all of your selfies have me 😍😍 I absolutely love seeing you on my dash!

@maxinas-selfships You and Roadhog are total otp!! You are an amazing friend and person, and i can't wait to see more of your ships!!!

@millizines You were the first person in the community to reach out to me, and I'm so glad that you did! You and Earnest are a lovely couple, and every post I see about you two makes my heart happy!

@robotarmjokes D, you are so strong! You've been through a lot, but you're doing great, and I'm so hella proud of you! I know that Rhys is, too 💕💕 Keep doing your best!!

@evilwives I know we don't talk all that much, but I'm waving the you/Moira flag hard as hell!!! You're such a cool person, and if I wasn't a shy weenie I'd definitely talk more with you!!

@quackwerks Your art, your ships, and your attitude are all great! I love hearing about your characters and seeing the art you make for them!! I appreciate you so much!

@myrainydayloves You were one of my first friends in the community, and you and Sho are still one of the best couples out there imo!! Live your life with your boy, he loves the hell out of you!!

@snagg-ships Again, I'm a bit of a social weenie, but i love talking with you! And Junkrat totally belongs with you! You two are so adorable together!

@maxships We've only recently started talking, but your ships are all so pure, they make me so happy to hear about! Aside from that, you're absolutely beautiful, and getting to know you has been a pleasure! I'm excited to talk more with you!

Now onto some longer ones....

@benobiships Ben, what can I say about you?? I was nervous as h e c k to talk to you at first, but now I'm more than glad that we started talking! You're among my close friends, and seeing your ships always makes me smile! You make the best jokes, the best memes, and love the nastiest boys 👀 You're awesome in every possible way!!

@nym-ships Hoooo boy, where do i begin?? Nym, the gratitude and sheer love that i have for you can't easily be put to words. When we first met I was a shy and nervous wreck, but getting to know you has been one the greatest pleasures of my life. You've been through a hell of a lot and yet you're still here, you still keep going, and thst inspires me. From the bottom of my heart I really and honestly mean it when I say that I'm so glad we're friends. I know I can talk to you about anything, and I hope you know the same is true for you! And don't even get me started on how much your boys fuckin love you. To them, there's nothing better than holding you tight and reassuring you that you're safe, you're loved, and you're important. You mean the world to me and I will beat someone to death with a rolled up calander for you.

And finally, @hakeyshomemadeships I didn't meet you through the community, obviously, but I'm glad that we can share this part od our lives together. You're my best friend beyond compare, I don't love anybody in the world quite like I love you. We have the stupidest jokes, the most tearfilled nights, everything in between, and more together. I can go to you with anything in the world and you can come to me, too. I can't imagine my life without you, or really remember what it was before you. A decade of friendships and counting! How have you put up with me for this long? I love you, 100%

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whumpyfanficpedia · 7 years

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Hey! Thanks for replying to my rec, I was wondering about the linking:) I think I will just add where it is archived to each fic (ao3,ffnet,lj) if that's okay. Also not sure if you'd rather get one longer rec file in your mail or separate fic recs through here? Let me know:) I'm a huge fan of this idea. I'm just going through my archive and trying to sort over 6k of fics lol. Thanks for doing this, you're awesome:D

2)One more question, heh. What do you think about self recs? I don’t wanna self promote, but I wrote some h/c fics I think some people might enjoy (but I’m not sure if they’re good enough to be recced). In any case, you’re awesome, and I already read a few new fics thanks to the fanficpedia, yay!

Hello again!

Yes, sometime in the next few minutes, I will add to the guidelines that linking doesn’t work, especially if it’s through a Tumblr Ask (don’t let that deter you all from sending in your recs, we love seeing them.) Currently, we are still in the ‘beta’ (is that even the correct word?) process of our blog and our ‘Pedia,’ so we are still working on better ways to communicate with everybody involved in this project and everybody interested in this project. Hopefully, within the next couple of weeks we will work out a system that is best for everyone, but for now, we work with what we’ve got (in my opinon, this is the best part!)

However, yes, your idea about just letting us know where you read the fic is a marvelous idea!

As for one long fic rec, or multiple at a time, I will leave that up to you considering you have 6,000+ fics to sift through, I imagine you will likely rather just send as many at once, which is fine, awesome even. The only thing that I would suggest is just any of the long fics, (anything 50,000+ words let us know where approximately the whump can be located inside the fic.

Self recs are a beautiful idea, I love it when an author promotes their own works! (I’ll be honest, I recced a few of my own fics, shhhh, don’t tell anyone. ;p) Yes, any fics, whether they are yours or not are perfectly acceptable!

Finally, I am so incredibly happy to hear that you enjoy this idea, and that you have already used it to your advantage. Makes us feel so good about ourselves and makes me so proud of everybody involved in this project! Thank you so much for your support, and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask. Questions are definitely helping us grow!

Happy Whumpings!

#whump #whumpyfanficpedia #Whump fanfic encyclopedia #whumpy fanfiction #whumpfanficpedia #Mod:Tay

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lesbian-ed · 7 years

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Hey, I don't know if I'm really asking for advice or more like venting but idk what to do.. I used to id as bi for like 3 to 4 years until I recently came to terms with the fact that I'm a lesbian and not bi. But the thing is I'm like proud of who I am but I'm like also so scared ? I'm 21 and I dated like lots of guys because of comp het so I never came out to my parents. I knew I liked girls but it didn't felt really real, I kept telling myself that as long as I never had a serious 1/3

relationship with a girl, it didn’t matter if I ever came out to my family, so I only came out to my friends. But now that I realized that I’m a lesbian I’m like so scared cause it’s real now. I want a serious relationship with a girl but I’m like also so afraid to lose my family. I’m French and during the whole gay marriage thing in France my parents were really vocal about opposing to it, they even went to protest and I know for a fact that they think a gay family is bad for kids 2/3

and it just hurts so much ? i feel so alone cause I don’t know any lesbians and I’m half black so I already have to deal with all the racism and shit and I feel so lost and scared. I never thought while growing up that at one point my parents wouldn’t love and support me for who I am and idk, this ask is getting nowhere but I guess what I wanted to say is that I’m like so afraid and lost, I don’t know what to do, I just want someone to tell me it’s all gonna be alright i guess 3/3

Hey there, buddy

Reading your ask with mod W we both got very emotional over it. We both can understand your struggles with sexuality, because we have been there. We have both identified as bisexual for a period of time, and we viewed it just as you described. Realizing we were lesbians, although it took me longer to come to terms with it, was really enlightening and comforting. We finally could settle in the fact that we are women who exclusively love women, and it feels like coming home.

We can also relate to your loneliness, coming from small towns where no much happens on the exclusively lesbian front, and we just aren’t the type to go to big pride events because tbh we’re homey little grandmas stuck in 20 yo bodies.

We have been lucky to have understanding and supporting parents, but we can certainly empathize with your struggles. I know Mod C is kinda going through similar issues, and I’d strongly urge you to hit her up. She’s a Frenchie too, so maybe you guys can bond over baguettes and talk it through. I’m sure she’d be happy to talk to you. You can find her @walkyriesrising

Now... What I can tell you, as a true child of the internet, is that there will always be a community out there for you. You’re not alone, you’re not going to be stuck. If your family does reject you for you, it doesn’t mean you’re any less important and brilliant. I understand family means a lot, but it also means support and respect. If your blood family won’t offer you that, you can make your own family.

You can have good friends who will be there for you, and hold your hand through all this. You’ll meet your future wife, and you’ll build a bond there which is so valuable and so precious. Don’t be discouraged, as hard as these times may be. I know it can be scary, and it can be lonely. But you’re so brave and so awesome for even being able to accept your sexuality for yourself, and you’re doing so good.

We are proud of you and we are here for you. Any of the mods are 100% open for a talk any time you need, about any subject. You can find our info at the Mod Page, but you can also just come over and PM me @augustwhom if you feel like it.

It will be alright, I can promise you that. I’m so sorry you’re going through this hardship by yourself, but you will find a place where you belong, and you will find solace. I’ll be rooting for you, good luck 💖💖💖

/Mod A 💞

#advice #loneliness #lesbian loneliness #racism #positivity #mod a #answered asks

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stephicness · 8 years

Note

Hey there :3 I totally love your hc/scenarios, they are awesome! Bc I'm Ravus trash (xD) I wanted to request smth - like how would he react, if he fell in love with his childhood friend (who also serves the Nifs army and secretly has a crush on him as well)? How would he confess/first kiss/first time/whatever xD :3 pretty please

Why, hiya there to you, dear anon! c: Many thanks foryour comments. I’m super glad that you enjoy my writings! It really warms myheart knowing that. qUq

But hm… For your question, I normally have a hardertime answering these ones because I’m not exactly the significant otherdescribed, so I can’t really gauge what they would say in the moment sinceeveryone’s different. But let me try to tell you a story of a childhood friendship and romance~ A long one, so look under the read more!

Ravus Nox Fleuret twenty years ago, the young prince ofTenebrae. A bright young child many years ago, a musical prodigy some say aswell, and a mama’s boy. He often had a hard time making friends when attendingthe private school his father enrolled him into, and he often kept to himself.He wasn’t particularly well-liked among his classmates, but he at least tendedto his studies while also balancing out his responsibilities as the prince andas the future heir of the throne of Tenebrae. He always did his best to servethe needs of his kingdom and to make his parents proud. Even at eight yearsold, Ravus was a studious kid. Never interacting with the world unless itinteracted with him. A lonely world of responsibilities that would have drivenany child insane.

And yet there was one person that managed to keep himsane. The only person who seemed to bother ever visiting him was a youngservant from the kitchens – no more than a year or two younger than Ravus wasbut already working so hard to serve the Fleurets. The child servant would alwaysdrop by whenever Ravus was in the study practicing the piano. A bright andtoothless smile they wore, a pleasant and happy aura around them that wouldilluminate even through the darkest of times. They always did their best tosneak in and slide a different pastry every day over to Ravus. Just enough forthe prince to catch the pastry out of the corner of his eyes before he ceasespracticing. And just like every morning, he’s greeted with a bright and cheery‘Mornin’ Prince Ravy!’

He couldn’t help but frown in return. It’s Ravus, not Ravy.

At first, Ravus was curious as to why the servant was sohappy to interact with the prince, considering that his routine was so strictthat he couldn’t afford to socialize with someone as lowly as a servant. Especiallyone as dirty as they were. Covered in flour and cake batter most the time,always with some sort of bandage around their fingers. Ravus honestly didn’twant anything to do with them. He just wanted to get back to playing the pianobefore his instructor would scold him for not practicing. But it seemed likethey wouldn’t be leaving any time soon. The merely strolled on over afterpushing the pastry toward Ravus before they sat on the piano stool next to himand poked at the keys.

“Lady Sylla wants you to eat. But they didn’t make itpink enough.” The servant smiled again, scooting the pink cupcake to Ravuseagerly. “I made it! Extra frosting. ‘Cause Lady Sylla said you like it!”

“It is Queen Sylva.”

“Lady Sylla. Right!”

The young prince frowned. What a scrappy kid. But itseemed like they just had a hard time pronouncing his mother’s name. Lady Sylva.But he wasn’t going to be able to correct them any time soon either. Ravusmerely let out a sigh, taking the cupcake before he licks off some of thefrosting from it. The prince stopped, looking down at the cupcake with big eyesbefore he looks to the servant. That dumb smile never left the child’s face asthey watched in return. The prince quickly turned away, stuffing the cupcakeinto his mouth and devouring it like a predator attacking its sugary pink prey.

“Ya like it?!” Ravus gave a quick nod, face stuffed withthe pastry and mouth covered with pink frosting. The servant grinned andbounced happily in their seat. “Imma make you one for breakfast every day then!Okay, Ravy?”

Ravus glanced away, swallowing the cupcake finally as hewiped away the cupcake with his fingers. “…Maria told me I am not allowed tohave sweets.”

The servant placed a finger over their lips as amischievous smile formed. “Just don’t tell ‘em then.”

The sneaky pink breakfast cupcakes became a routine astime passed. First, it was a rather strange nuisance of having to hide from thepiano instructor whenever the pastry chef-in-training would visit with cupcakesand other pastries. But the more the servant would visit, the more Ravus beganto value the morning pastries with them. They would end up sitting there andtalking about nothing or everything. Rarely was there ever an in-between. Thecompany was pleasant, and it was nice to have a chance to not be alone with hisown thoughts. Sure, sometimes the thoughts of annoyance would come to mind asthe servant would go on for hours about their dislike for pastries withoutcolorful sugar or chocolate on them. But if they were willing to sit there andlisten quietly as Ravus practiced the piano, he could at least give them thechance to talk about pastries.

And despite having many topics to talk about, not oncedid the pastry deliverer question or judge the prince for his status. Yes,they’d have to refer to Ravus as ‘Prince,’ but it seemed that ‘Ravy’ stuck moreas a nickname than the title of Prince. Ravy and the little servant would merelyspend their time together for the next eight years after their fateful cupcakeexchange.

Eight years, and Ravus had become a young man ready tostart learning more about the crown and the chance to aid his sister and motherin their duties as Oracle. Sixteen years old and ready to become king already.A noble boy and one that was respected and admired for his dedication to hisfamily. And as he grew older, his friendship with the servant grew as well.Their morning pastries were matched with afternoon snacks, evening walks,weekend hanging out, and so much more. The servants in the castle began tothink that the young man spent more time with the servant than he did playingthe piano anymore. Not that Sylva or the others really minded. It was ratherpleasant to see the prince of Tenebrae finding a friend he cared about. Someonethat he adored. Someone that he… Loved.

No… It couldn’t be that. Could it? The prince could only shakehis head of the thought and quickly go back to his studies.

Until one day, when Sylva and Ravus sat together as theyoung boy showed his mother the composition he was practicing, there was a softknock on the study’s door, followed by the faint sound of sniffling. Silva gotup, answering the door and looking down at the tiny servant. The smile theservant usually wore was broken and weary as poofy and teary eyes looked at upat the queen and held the pink cupcake up to her. “’G-Good morning, yourmajesty. I-I brought Ravy breakfast!”

The sound of the servant’s cracked voice caused theprince to stop playing the piano, quickly getting up before going over to hisfriend. He hesitated, trying to make sense of the saddened look on the servant’sface. But when he looked up to Sylva as if begging her to do something aboutthe tears, Sylva merely nudged her head at Ravus. She would be disappointed ifhe didn’t do something. So Ravuscarefully avoided crushing the cupcake in the servant’s hands before he wrappedhis arms around them and pulled them into a strong and comforting hug. Sylvasmiled at the two, kissing the top of Ravus’s head before she let the two be.

Ravus let out a sigh, rubbing the servant’s back beforehe guided them to go sit down. “What happened? Why are you crying?” He had totake the cupcake from his companion, or at least, what was left of it. With howtightly the servant crushed the pastry, there was little left of it. He merelytook out a small handkerchief and began to wipe away the remnants of thecupcake mess from their hands.

“My dad told me that I’m not allowed to see you again…” Ravuspaused at their words, looking up with a shocked expression. What…? “He said thathe was okay with it at first, but not anymore. He said that he wants to quitserving the Fleuret family and leave tomorrow.”

“But… But you can’t. The party for King Regis and PrinceNoctis is tomorrow.”

“Dad says I’m not allowed to go tomorrow. He even slammedhis hand on the table and yelled at me too…”

Ravus frowned, shaking his head as he wiped off the pinkthat now stained his friend’s skin. He seemed to press a bit too hard whiledoing so, but they didn’t say anything about it. “You can’t just leave and stopserving my family. And you can’t just spring this news onto me without anynotice. It is foolish, and you can’t simply just leave!”

“I don’t want to leave either.” They pressed the back oftheir wrist to their eyes, the tears just continuing to fall. This was thefirst time in eight years that they’ve known each other that Ravus had seenthem cry. “I just wanna be here with you, and-and cook for you like usual. Andhang out with you. And just stay with you. And-And…!” They choked on theirwords by this point, their sobbing turning into a near wail of sadness as theypressed their palms to their eyes to cease the tears. “I don’t wanna lose you!”

Ravus’s gaze hung low, the prince becoming quiet as hiscompanion wept. He didn’t want them to leave either. Eight years of theirbonding, and Ravus couldn’t even see the color pink without thinking of theservant that he would spend his days with growing up. With them leaving, thatwould mean no more spending the mornings talking until his piano instructor yelledat them both, no more of them sneaking by Ravus’s room and lazing about untilRavus grew tired of his studies and lazed about with them, no more pinkcupcakes or smiles from the pastry chef. No more of them… Ravus felt his frowngrow deeper before he wrapped his arms around his crying friend and squeezingthem as tight as he could.

“I command you stay here. You must stay. You are notallowed to go.” Ravus frowned before he pulled back and looked down at thepastry servant. “What if you snuck away during the party tomorrow? We couldhide you away, or perhaps I will tell your father that you are ordered to stayhere. With me.”

They sniffled, whipping their eyes with the back of theirarm. “You can do that…?” Ravus’s face twisted. He probably couldn’t, but hecould still try. But before he could reply, two arms wrapped themselves aroundRavus. Surprised at the gesture at first, Ravus returned the embrace, restinghis head on their shoulder. “I hope you do! I don’t wanna leave. Who else willeat my cupcakes?”

The prince let out a chuckle, looking down at the servantwith a soft smile. “We will find a way for us to be together still, so do notlose hope. After all, I cannot imagine myself not having my morning cupcake.Pink frosting and all.”

“You promise? You promise that we’ll get to be together?”

Ravus nodded in response, leaning closer before placing akiss on top of the servant’s forehead. “I promise.”

The servant ended up laughing with excitement and joybefore they hugged Ravus once again, nuzzling their face into his chest. “Ilike you the most! You’re the best, Ravy.”

Ravus paused for a moment, his cheeks reddening slightlybefore he hugged them in return, placing another light kiss on top of theirhead. “I like you the most too…”

The high commander suddenly blinked hard as his attentionfinally came back to reality. He had lost track of time, it seemed. The momentpassing in the mere blink of an eye as he pondered on what seemed like aneternity ago. Ravus’s eyes faltered, turning down towards the ground as hestood in his place. He wished the moment would have been frozen in time, histhoughts to recollect the past, to cherish it. But it felt like time alwaysmoved forward. A pity that such innocence was left in the past.

And so, he stood there, the bouquet of pink roses tuckedinto his arm as he carried the small box in the other. He had the moment tospare that morning to visit them. To see them once again after so long. A longyear of hardships and trials that challenged Ravus and pushed him to nearlybreaking. And yet, here he was. He was there, surviving, alive and well. Helooked down, giving a small nod before he set the flowers on top of the marbleheadstone stepped back. He held the box in his hands, staring down at theheadstone. Silent. Quiet like his mornings have been for the past twelve years.But this time, it feels deafening. The high commander felt his breath shaken ashe exhaled and took a seat in front of the headstone. With shaken hands, he openedthe box, taking out one of two cupcakes and setting it down in on top of thememorial. The other he took for himself, but both were covered in bright pinkfrosting.

It wasn’t quite the same as before…

Ravus let out a small sigh, putting the cupcake pack intothe box as he hung his head once again. He shouldn’t have come here. He shouldn’t have tried to relive this moment again. It would never be the same. He shouldn’t have come here. He shouldn’t have made their friendship a routine. He shouldn’t have told the servant to come with him to the party. If he hadn’t done that, then maybe Ravus would have kept his promise. He could have done something more. He could have kept them by his side, to have them nearby, to tell them that after all this time… The commander shook his head, closing his eyes as he gripped the box tighter.

“I’m sorry… But I promise: we’ll get to be together soon.”

#asks #dear anon #final fantasy xv #ffxv #ravux nox fleuret #ravus #stephic writings #welp #i tried to be happy #i failed #my heart hurts now #*ugly sobbing*

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