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#but honestly i feel like it could have been done better
its-avalon-08 · 3 days
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Hi. Could you do a Fernando Alonso one where reader are Carmen's sister and sometimes accompany her to races to spend time together due to reader's busy schedule with her modeling career and to the point where Fernando becomes interested in knowing more about her while George and Carmen try to set them up, since they realize how well the two get along and the tension that is in the air
meddling and podiums (fa14)
✦ pairing - fernando alonso x female!reader
✦ genre - friends to lovers, meddling george and carmen, cute, fluff,
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The paddock was buzzing with the usual energy of race day. The sun beat down on the vibrant F1 scene, with fans filling the grandstands, drivers making last-minute preparations, and teams moving swiftly to ensure everything was ready for lights out. Amidst all this, Carmen and her sister, Y/N, walked through the paddock, turning a few heads.
Y/N hadn’t been to a race in a while. Her modeling career kept her moving from city to city, but today, she managed to carve out time to support her sister and spend some quality time together.
“I'm so glad you could make it,” Carmen smiled, looping her arm through Y/N's as they navigated through the McLaren garage. “Feels like I never see you anymore."
Y/N laughed, adjusting her sunglasses as she glanced around. "Tell me about it. I've missed this vibe. You know how crazy my schedule’s been. But I needed this. A break, some racing… and, of course, hanging out with my favorite sister."
“Your only sister,” Carmen teased.
As they walked past the garages, Y/N caught sight of the familiar green of the Aston Martin team and its star driver, Fernando Alonso. His presence was impossible to ignore—tall, rugged, and oozing confidence as he discussed strategy with his engineers. She had seen him on TV countless times but seeing him up close was something else entirely. Y/N couldn’t help but notice how effortlessly commanding he was.
Carmen noticed her sister’s gaze lingering. "Interesting view?" she asked playfully, raising an eyebrow.
Y/N shrugged nonchalantly, though a smirk played on her lips. "Just… observing. No harm in looking, right?"
"Right…" Carmen said, clearly noting the spark of interest. "Come on, George is waiting for us at Mercedes. But, I wouldn't mind taking a detour near the Aston Martin garage later."
Y/N chuckled. "You're not that subtle, you know."
As they made their way towards George, Y/N felt someone’s eyes on her. Glancing up, she met Fernando Alonso’s gaze for the briefest of moments. He looked curious, like he was trying to place her face. She wasn’t just another person in the paddock to him. And then, just as quickly, the moment passed, and he turned back to his conversation.
They reached Mercedes, where George Russell was leaning casually against a wall, spotting them from a distance with a wide grin on his face. "Well, look who finally decided to show up—Miss World herself," he teased, pushing off and walking over with a playful bounce in his step.
Y/N smirked, rolling her eyes as she hugged him. "Oh please, as if you don’t love having me around to boost your popularity. Admit it, you’ve missed me."
"Missed? Try celebrating the peace and quiet since you've been jet-setting across the world," George shot back, ruffling her hair in a brotherly gesture. "Now you're back to ruin it all."
"Ruin it? I make everything better, Russ. Without me, you'd be bored out of your mind."
Carmen laughed as she watched them banter, but George wasn’t done. “Honestly, I think the paddock’s been too calm. Carmen’s always talking about you, and I’m like—great, now I have to deal with two of them. Double trouble."
Y/N punched him lightly on the arm. “Admit it, you love having me around to keep you on your toes."
George laughed, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright! You win. It’s nice to see you here, Y/N. It’s not the same without you stirring things up."
Y/N smirked. "That’s what I thought."
As they exchanged more playful jabs, George's expression turned more mischievous. "Oh, by the way, Alonso's been… asking about you."
Carmen and George shared a knowing look. "Well, you did just catch his eye. Plus, he's been asking questions like… ‘Who’s the girl that sometimes comes with Carmen?’ And ‘What does she do?’ You know, the usual."
Y/N rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at her lips. "He could just ask me directly, you know."
“Oh, I’m sure he’s thinking about it,” Carmen said, nudging her.
As they chatted, George’s phone buzzed. He glanced down and grinned. “Speak of the devil. Fernando’s just invited us to the Aston Martin hospitality. Care to join?”
Y/N hesitated for a moment, pretending to think. "Isn't this a bit of an obvious setup?"
Carmen laughed. "It's not a setup if there's already chemistry."
George nodded, backing her up. "Exactly. Come on, Y/N. Just join us. I bet it’ll be fun."
Y/N sighed, though a flicker of curiosity burned in her eyes. "Alright, alright. But if this gets awkward, I’m blaming both of you."
"Deal," George smirked, already texting Fernando back.
As they made their way toward Aston Martin, Y/N felt the flutter of anticipation rise in her chest. She hadn’t expected to feel like this, but there was something intriguing about Fernando. The way he carried himself, the quiet confidence… it piqued her interest.
And if the way George and Carmen were looking at her was any indication, they were already rooting for something to happen.
---
The Aston Martin hospitality suite was buzzing with activity when Y/N, Carmen, and George arrived. The gleaming green branding and calm atmosphere contrasted sharply with the chaotic energy outside. Fernando was standing near a table, engrossed in conversation with one of the team members, but as soon as they entered, his eyes flicked toward them.
George waved, leading the way. “Fernando! Hope we’re not interrupting anything important.”
Fernando glanced up, a subtle smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Not at all,” he said smoothly, nodding at George before his gaze shifted to Y/N. “I see you’ve brought company.”
Y/N felt a slight flutter in her stomach as his dark eyes locked on hers. His presence was even more intense up close, and though he kept his tone casual, there was something in the way he looked at her that made her feel like they were the only two in the room.
“This is Y/N,” George said, clearly enjoying the moment. “You know, Carmen’s sister. We thought we’d drag her to more races since she’s been so busy.”
“Nice to finally meet you in person,” Fernando said, extending his hand toward Y/N. His voice was deep and calm, carrying a sense of quiet authority.
Y/N smiled, taking his hand in a firm handshake. “Likewise. I’ve heard a lot about you,” she replied, her voice steady despite the unexpected jolt that came from the contact.
“Only good things, I hope,” Fernando said, his tone light but his eyes lingering on hers.
Y/N tilted her head slightly, a playful glint in her eyes. “Mostly.”
Carmen shot George a look, clearly noticing the subtle tension between them. “So, Fernando, you’re ready for today’s race?”
“Always,” he responded, but his attention was still on Y/N. “And what about you, Y/N? How does this compare to the excitement of your world?”
Y/N laughed softly, breaking eye contact for a moment. “A little different from the fashion shows, but I think I prefer the noise and chaos here. Plus, watching these races is a nice break from my schedule.”
Fernando’s eyes gleamed with curiosity. “I imagine modeling takes you all over the world.”
“It does,” she replied. “But I try to make time for things that really matter. Family, friends… experiences.” Her eyes flicked up to meet his again, and there was no mistaking the subtle undercurrent in her words.
George, sensing the building tension, decided to jump in before things got too intense. “You two are making me feel like a third wheel,” he said, laughing awkwardly. Carmen elbowed him, but George just grinned. “Maybe we should give you a little more space.”
Carmen chimed in, smiling innocently. “That’s not a bad idea. George and I were going to grab some food, actually. You know, let you two get to know each other without us butting in.”
Y/N shot her sister a look, knowing exactly what she was trying to do. “Carmen…”
But George was already pulling Carmen along, leaving Fernando and Y/N standing there alone. "We'll be right back!" he called out, far too chipper as they disappeared into the crowd.
Y/N turned back to Fernando, trying not to laugh at her sister and George’s obvious meddling. “They’re not exactly subtle, are they?”
Fernando chuckled, his gaze softening. “Not at all.”
There was a moment of silence, but it wasn’t awkward. The air between them felt charged, like there was something simmering beneath the surface. Y/N could feel his eyes on her, the weight of his attention making her heart race.
“You’re close with George and Carmen?” Fernando asked, his tone casual, but his interest was clear.
“Yeah,” she replied, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “Carmen and I are really close. It’s hard with my schedule, so I try to come to races whenever I can to see her. George is like an annoying older brother, but… we all get along.”
Fernando nodded, his eyes following her movements. “I can see that. They seem like good people.”
“They are,” Y/N said. “George is always looking out for Carmen, and by extension, me. Which is probably why they’re trying so hard to—” she paused, catching herself before finishing the sentence, but Fernando raised an eyebrow, clearly amused.
“To…?” he prompted.
Y/N smirked, shaking her head. “To do exactly what they’re doing right now—setting us up.”
Fernando’s lips curved into a small smile. “Ah, so you noticed.”
“Hard not to,” she replied with a light laugh. “They’ve been dropping hints for weeks now.”
Fernando’s expression grew more serious, though the smile never left his face. “And what do you think about that? Being set up?”
Y/N paused, meeting his gaze again. There was something about him—he was confident, sure, but not in an arrogant way. His interest in her felt genuine, and she couldn’t deny the chemistry that was already building between them.
“I don’t usually like being set up,” she admitted, her voice softening. “But… I guess it depends on the person.”
Fernando’s smile widened slightly, and he took a step closer. “And what do you think of me so far?”
Y/N felt her breath catch in her throat, the intensity of his gaze pulling her in. She smiled, tilting her head slightly as she held his gaze. “I think you might surprise me.”
Fernando’s eyes darkened with interest, the corner of his mouth twitching into a smirk. “I hope that’s a good thing.”
Before Y/N could respond, Carmen and George reappeared with mischievous grins on their faces, carrying trays of food.
“Did we miss anything?” George asked, far too casually.
Y/N glanced at Fernando, her lips curving into a knowing smile. “Nothing you two don’t already know.”
time skip
As the race weekend unfolded, it became clear to everyone in the paddock—especially to George and Carmen—that Fernando and Y/N were inseparable. Every free second, whether it was between practice sessions, during lunch breaks, or even casual moments walking through the paddock, they were side by side. Their conversations seemed endless, filled with easy laughter and stolen glances.
George and Carmen watched from the sidelines, their plotting almost becoming a sport of its own.
Friday afternoon
“Look at them,” Carmen whispered to George, nudging him as they stood by the Mercedes garage. Fernando and Y/N were sitting on a bench a few meters away, deep in conversation. Y/N was laughing at something Fernando had said, her face lighting up in a way that was hard to miss.
George smirked, crossing his arms. “I think we’ve done quite a job here.”
Carmen giggled, leaning into him. “You think they even notice how much time they’re spending together?”
“No way. They’re too busy making heart eyes at each other.”
Saturday, after qualifying
As the sun began to dip, the paddock was alive with chatter. Drivers were heading off for briefings, and team members bustled about. But Y/N and Fernando stood off to the side, leaning casually against a wall, completely in their own world.
“So,” Y/N said, leaning closer to him with a teasing smile, “you and George seem to get along surprisingly well. He’s not too annoying for you?”
Fernando chuckled, crossing his arms and shaking his head. “I think I’ve learned to tune him out when he starts talking too much.”
Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes. “That’s the secret to dealing with George. He loves the sound of his own voice.”
Fernando raised an eyebrow, his voice dropping just slightly. “And what about you? Are you as good at tuning him out?”
“Sometimes,” Y/N said, biting her lip, her tone playful. “But mostly, I just out-talk him.”
Fernando’s smirk grew, the tension between them unmistakable. “I can’t say I mind that.”
The air between them grew heavier, but before the moment could deepen, George’s voice cut through the tension.
“Hey, lovebirds!” he called out, grinning widely as he approached with Carmen. “Need any more help getting through this weekend together?”
Y/N groaned, laughing despite herself. “You really don’t know when to stop, do you?”
Carmen elbowed George, shooting Y/N and Fernando a playful wink. “Ignore him. He’s just jealous he’s not the center of attention.”
Fernando chuckled, his gaze lingering on Y/N. “I don’t think anyone could take attention away from Y/N.”
Sunday afternoon, post-race
The crowd was roaring as the podium ceremony wrapped up, and Fernando had just claimed an impressive P2. Y/N stood at the edge of the celebration, smiling as she watched him pop the champagne and soak in the cheers from the fans. There was something exhilarating about being part of this world, but today it felt even more electric. Fernando’s win wasn’t the only thing sparking the excitement in the air.
As the drivers made their way off the podium, Fernando spotted Y/N standing by, clapping and grinning at him. His eyes lit up as he made a beeline toward her, weaving through the crowd. Still in his race suit, champagne dripping from his hair, he looked like a man on top of the world.
As the podium celebrations wound down, Fernando made his way through the crowd, eyes scanning for Y/N. He spotted her standing just off to the side, her smile wide as she clapped along with the cheering fans. Despite the chaos surrounding them, she was a steady presence, and he couldn't help but feel drawn to her.
Still in his race suit, with champagne glistening on his hair and skin, he approached her, wiping a hand across his face as he grinned. “Not bad, huh?”
Y/N beamed up at him, her eyes bright. “Not bad at all. You looked like you were in your element out there.”
Fernando chuckled, slightly breathless but clearly energized. “I had some extra motivation.”
“Oh yeah?” Y/N raised an eyebrow, her voice teasing. “And what might that be?”
He took a step closer, the noise of the paddock dimming in his mind. “You.”
Her smile faltered for just a second, surprise flashing in her eyes before she tilted her head, amused. “Me?”
Fernando nodded, his voice lowering as his gaze softened. “Yeah. Being around you this weekend… I haven’t felt like this in a while.”
There was a moment of silence between them, the air heavy with unsaid words. Y/N’s heart was racing, the playful teasing that usually colored their conversations giving way to something deeper.
“Listen,” Fernando said, his voice gentle but sure, “I know this weekend’s been crazy, but if you’re not flying out tomorrow… I’d like to take you out. Just us, somewhere quiet. No paddock noise, no distractions.”
Y/N’s breath hitched slightly, her gaze locking with his. There was something sincere and almost vulnerable in his eyes, and for a moment, she forgot about the crowd, the race, and everything else.
“So,” she began, a small, teasing smile playing on her lips, “you’re asking me out, Alonso?”
Fernando smirked, his usual confidence creeping back as he held her gaze. “I am.”
Y/N bit her lip, her smile widening. “I think I’d like that.”
His eyes brightened with a mix of relief and excitement, the tension between them palpable. “Good. I'll make sure it’s worth your while.”
Y/N stepped a little closer, her voice dropping to match the quiet intimacy of the moment. “I’m counting on it.”
For a brief second, the world around them seemed to fall away, leaving only the two of them standing there, caught in the electricity of something new.
As George and Carmen celebrated their success from the sidelines, Fernando and Y/N exchanged a look filled with the kind of tension that only comes when two people know they’re on the edge of something more.
And for once, the noise of the race weekend faded into the background, leaving just the two of them in the moment.
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adhara2034 · 2 days
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I honestly think that had DC done it better, there would be way less hate over Tim being Bi.
Like, they had him come out and get a boyfriend in a single issue. No hints, nada.
Had they dropped hints at it throughout other issues and series, then it wouldn't have felt so sudden and random.
Then you have Bernard, who was also totally random. Don't get me wrong, I think Bernard and Tim are a really cute couple, but it was so sudden and random that it didn't feel right. This, too, should have been eased in, or they could have listened to the fans and either gave him Kon or get back with Stephanie.
Dc truly don't know how to write, nor listen to what their fans want in any way, shape, or form.
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eggyrocks · 4 hours
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ENCOUNTERS
00 prologue: dumped
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All Suna wants is a relaxing, post-show cigarette in the parking lot. But that girl’s fighting with her boyfriend again.
For as long as they’ve been a band, she’s been coming to their shows . And as long as she’s been coming to their shows, she’s been fighting with her boyfriend at them. The same boyfriend every time too, the gangly looking one with the constantly messed-up hair.
He flicks the end of his lighter, watching as she takes several steps back from him, laughing in indignation, throwing up her arms up in exasperation. The boyfriend’s just standing there, outside the driver’s seat of his idling car.
They always fight about stupid shit. The boyfriend’s controlling. She likes to do whatever she wants. He yells at her about lying about where she was going for the night. She yells back about him going through her phone. Honestly, Suna’s not even sure why the two of them are still together. It seems like they really, really fucking hate each other.
He can hear a bit of what she’s screaming now, something about not trusting her or respecting her individuality and him shooting back that she’s done nothing to earn his trust, and she has no personality outside of liking this stupid fucking band.
Suna inhales and crosses his arms over his chest. He’s not sure why he’s getting dragged into it.
Honestly, he figures he should probably count his losses with the cigarette and go back inside, let them have it out like they normally do alone, in the privacy of this empty venue parking lot. But his morbid curiosity gets the better of him, and he stays, watching aptly as they tear each other’s throats out.
And, oddly, he kinda feels compelled to stick around, to make sure she ends up okay. He doesn’t know anything about her really, and he hardly remembers her name half the time, but her unrelenting dedication to his band has kind of earned some loyalty in return.
Enough for him to stick outside and keep an eye on her while her boyfriend loses his mind.
Suna watches as he turns away from her, and flings open the backseat of his car. He watches as she yells out, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” and he watches as the boyfriend pulls out three, large, overflowing duffle bags and deposits them at her feet, despite her protests.
And then, he gets in his car and drives away.
His loyalty is being tested.
All Suna can think about as he approaches her is how badly he does not want to. But she’s collapsed now, sitting on top of her pile of duffle bags and sobbing, right there in the middle of the parking lot. Plus, if Kiyoko found out he left a crying girl alone in the parking lot, she’d probably skin him. So he drops his cigarette to the ground and snuffs it out with the heel of his shoe. “Hey,” he greets, because he doesn’t know what else to say.
She looks up, wet eyes wide and covered in smudged, black makeup. She inhales sharply. It could pass for a hiccup. “Oh, hey. Good show tonight,” she sniffles.
“Yeah, thank” Suna nods, looking at the ground beside her instead of directly at her. He feels strange standing above her like he is, so he kneels, weight on the balls of his feet. “Are, erm, are you okay?”
She blinks, and hiccups again. At least her crying’s slowed. “Um, no, not really. I just got dumped, and also, like evicted, I’m pretty sure.”
Suna looks at the bags underneath her. “This all your stuff?”
“Most of it, I think.”
“Okay,” Suna starts, trying to come up with anything useful or productive, “so, can you like, call a friend to stay at their place for now or something? I don’t think I wanna leave with you just like, here.”
Her eyes start to water again, and Suna immediately feels like he’s done something wrong. “No, not really. I mean, my old roommates got new places out of the city and I don’t know who they live with or even where and my other friends all live together in a two bedroom but there’s three of them and I couldn’t even stay in there if I tried because there’s no room, and I don’t like my mom and I guess I could ask this one friend but I know she won’t answer and I don’t know where I’m going to stay and I’m kind of-“
“Okay,” Suna cuts her off, dread already forming in his stomach. Because he cannot, in good conscience, leave a crying girl in the middle of a parking lot. He cannot let her just figure it out on her own. So he knows what’s coming next. He sighs and stands upright. Fuck, he better get some good karma for this. “Do you wanna stay at my place for the night?”
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taglist: @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @eclecticeggknightpsychic @httpakkeiji @does-directions @needtoloveoutloud @causenessus @kawaii-angelanne @thatonecroc @v1oletfury @lonesomedrive @nnnyxie @bakery-anon @cheriisae @chososcamgirl @honeyfewr @soulfullystarry @snail-squasher @angee444 @itsdragonius @lees-chaotic-brain @miiyas @atsumuenthusiast @iluv-ace @cupidsblonde @tetsuswhore @soobin1437 @starkyu @bakugouswh0r3 @wakashudou @softpia @phoenix-eclipses @angelichwv @rory-cakes @bbybibi @lllaw @kameyyy @sleepzyy @s1ckntw1st3d @savemebrazilhinata @whorefornoodles @keeboismine @angsty-microwave @cyberpsychedelic @v3nusplanetofluv @darkandstarrynight @lunasfics @miss-manupilative @t8tiana @bzzahbee @evening-latte @Rebirthbunny @rvm1ne
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hanjisungslag · 2 days
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attack on titan headcanons #13
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synopsis: they love you but, you love their best friend.
characters involved: eren, mikasa, armin, sasha, connie, jean, reiner, bertolt, annie, levi, erwin & hange
notes: i made my first ever lengthy fanfic! first 3 episodes are out so, go check it out!!
☆ eren jaeger - armin arlert
his heart is crushed to smithereens but, he’ll never ever show it because as long as your happy, that’s all he can ask for in this dreadful world plus, i’m sure armin would be happy for you so… it’s a bonus. i guess. he’ll be fine watching you two get together (no he won’t) (he’ll cry and punch a lot of things).
☆ armin arlert - mikasa ackerman
he gets it, mikasa is way better than him in several different ways but also, stronger than him. she has the resilience for what it takes to survive in this world, she’s not called a 100 man army for no reason! she can protect you and probably love you better than he could. finding out this news takes a huge toll on his self esteem to be honest 🙁.
☆ mikasa ackerman - eren jaeger
oh, TRUST ME! she’s been there and done that, she gets it, if not more than anyone. she feels very conflicted because she got over eren… developed feelings for you… now, you like eren? it genuinely just feels like someone’s playing a sick joke on her.
☆ jean kirsten - connie springer
okay this actually kind of shocked jean because he thought was IN, he was complimenting you, you seemed to be liking it and taking them well plus, you spent a lot of time together! but then, he found out from reiner that you were gossiping with the girls, giggling about connie… maybe he’s funnier? kinder to you? more… handsome?!
☆ connie springer - sasha braus
wow. he loves sasha but cmon, SHES SO STUPID😭. he starts being really mean about her, not to her face, but he’ll make a sly comment here and there in front of people. oh, she messed up on the training? god, she’s so incapable! she tripped and fell? god, she’s so unaware of her surroundings! how stupid, amirite? don’t fret, jean is always there to wack him over the head and tell him to shape up. he only does it because it genuinely really upset him. he liked you a lot.
☆ sasha braus - jean kirsten
oh! i mean i guess that makes sense, sasha is just kind of a kind of silly food lover but jean… jean is ambitious, strong and motivated. maybe that’s what you want in a partner. she definitely changes her habits just out of feeling sad, like not eating as much, being more quiet, becoming less playful etc. everyone’s super worried but she barely realises she’s doing it.
☆ reiner braun - annie leonhart
well i be damned 💀. reiner never thought he’d see the day but here we are, you like annie and he likes you. he likes annie, don’t get me wrong, and he totally sees her good traits but like… really? you have a CRUSH on annie leonhart? he’s more confused than anything. honestly he’s grateful after a while (not really) because you’re a devil (you’re not to him, you look like you’ve fallen from the heavens) and he has to kill you (he would never).
☆ bertolt hoover - reiner braun
deep sigh. deepest of sighs. QUICK EVERYONE ACT SURPRISED! bertolt has always been in reiners shadow, just because he’s more reserved doesn’t mean he’s any lesser than reiner, cmon! but, he realised that maybe you just want someone like reiner, someone’s who is extroverted and manly.
☆ annie leonhart - bertolt hoover
well then, this is quite the turn of event. annie and bertolt were so close, she can totally see why you’d like him and it’s a TOTAL weight off her shoulders. she would’ve never confessed, girls got too much going on so, thank god your eyes wandered somewhere else. but, it doesn’t make it any less harder watching you and bertolt…
☆ levi ackerman - hange zoë
yeah no, like he totally gets it 😂😂😂. you totally didn’t break his heart FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME IN THIS MANS LIFETIME. bro cannot catch a break… it’s chill though. he’s chill, your chill, everyone’s chill (i’m so upset i have to write this) although, he will act more irritated with hange, even more than usual, he’ll act like they’re a pain in the arse. but, it’s understandable hange is, after all, more fun, talkative, intelligent and an all round better person to be with.
☆ erwin smith - levi ackerman
SECOND PERSON THATS BEEN SNATCHED FROM ERWIN but, at least it’s not nile dok again. he totalllyyy gets it like, it’s the levi ackerman. the worlds strongest soldier? hello?? he may be short but he’s strong, fearless, can protect you and goodness gracious he is handsome!! it’s hard for erwin to watch however, he makes sure to bottle it all up and focus on the task at hand.
☆ hange zoë - erwin smith
erwin smith… wow. maybe hange was just too… annoying for you? that’s the only solution they can come to. you still come to visit them and ask about titans and what not, it’s so hard to hear you talk about all the time you’ve been spending with erwin when you used to spend that time with hange. they’ll divulge fully into their work and become more recluse for a while.
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lia-loves · 3 days
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moth to a flame- ratio x reader
synopsis: when veritas feels lost in his research, you’re always there for support.
warnings: me swearing twice (bitch and shit used), possibly ooc ratio?? (idk i tried to make him funny), uhh this is vv short bc i hate writing long fics, nothing other than that :) 
this was very self-indulgent in honor of me being almost done building my ratio hehe (i am, in fact, not as almost done as i thought)
word count: 302
taglist: @sheyfu, @ayrastv. lmk if you’d like to be added!
veritas ratio could be seen as stubborn by some, and they would be right. the man has eight doctoral degrees and never seemed to quit anything (see the eight leaves on his head that represent his doctorates). he also never voiced his struggles. he was always too unwilling to admit he needed help, and that was something he told you he’d work on- and in his defense, he has gotten better. but old habits die hard, most notably seen in veritas’ office. one of his students had asked him a question that deeply puzzled the man, which was rare, but still happened. and now he’s cooped up in his office trying to seek answers. a gentle knock was heard at his office door. his head turned so quickly it could have given him whiplash, and he almost cringed at his own reaction. 
“come in,” he said. 
and in you came. you brought him his favorite snacks, drinks, a blanket, and honestly, veritas almost teared up at the gesture despite his arrogant facade. 
“wow, you look like shit. you need a break,” you said. 
“such a nice and endearing way to address your partner. you almost forgot the 'hi, veritas! how are you?' anyway, I can’t. i’m so close to finding the answer, and i cannot stop when i’m so close,” he argued. 
“Okay, and have you seen how exhausted you are?” you counterargued.
That shut veritas up, and while he wasn’t typically up for debates, he was thankful you won this time. and like a moth to a flame, veritas ratio found himself wanting to be in you embrace, in your warm and tender embrace. You spent the night cuddling in his office and just reassuring kind and encouraging words to each other. veritas may act like a cocky and arrogant son of a bitch, but he was such a sweet and tender man, something you wouldn’t expect of him to be. 
© lia-loves 2024. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost my writing on other websites. all of the writing you see on this blog has been written by me.
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saiintofdiirt · 6 hours
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Summary: Parrot and Wifies have a talk some time after the fallout of Parrot finding out Wifies is a clone. A follow up to Ken's POV in Part 1.
notes: this is once again not edited, this was the result of some quick writing last night and a wrap up today. it's more like practice for Parrot's voice which i think i did a shit job at but it's here and u can now judge me urself. enjoy. or dont idk. divider from here
word count: 2568. just slightly less than the previous installment.
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11:49
Parrot has picked through his feathers so many times he thinks he’s developing a bald spot in his left wing. He's usually better at waiting, has patience for his plans to go through, but today there is no plan, just waiting. He stares at his comm, open in his hand as he rereads the chat over and over again.
[Wifies]: Would you be open to talking with me today?
[Parrotx2]: yes
[Parrotx2]: of course
[Parrotx2]: what’s up
[Wifies]: I was actually wondering if we could meet up.
[Parrotx2]: yeah wherever you want
[Wifies]: I’ll open up my world.
[Wifies]: How does noon sound?
[Parrotx2]: perfect
[Wifies]: I’ll send you the IP then.
[Parrotx2]: great!
Great! He sounds like a loser.
So Parrot is waiting for the clock to strike noon on his comm to go. Part of him wonders if he's going to spawn into a pit, or straight into lava, or in an escape room, something that would make Wifies feel better to watch him go through after the hell Parrot raised. Parrot would be fine with that. Honestly, he hopes Wifies is mad. He's only going to feel worse if he's met with Wifies’s carefully thought out words and blunt kindness.
11:54
He stops touching his wings. He's been trying to organize his thoughts so he doesn't say something incredibly stupid to Wifies again. There’s a script now.
I’m sorry for reacting so harshly, I was shocked and didn’t know how to process what I was hearing. I felt hurt because I thought you didn’t trust me with the truth, but now I see why you wanted to keep it to yourself. I should have never acted that way. You’re so important to me, and I should have thought about all the trust between us. I always trust you.
11:55
It’s simple, but it’s straightforward, and he wants to be as clear as possible. He also wants to be sincere, but sincerity is scary. His sincerity is blue, bruised, gushes forward like an open wound and stains the world in his blood.
11:56
But he can do sincerity. He can do it for Wifies. He could probably do a lot for Wifies, but Wifies never asks for anything. He didn’t even ask to be freed from the chunkban. He just waited. Trusted Parrot, and waited for Parrot, and was happy to see Parrot after everything. Wifies is always trusting and waiting and happy.
11:57
And Parrot ruined it for what? Catharsis for his fears? A moment to let that horrible feeling of being second, third, fourth in someone's life tear through everything he’s done? Is that even the reason why?
11:58
God. When Wifies starts asking questions, Parrot is going to crumble like a house of cards. It'll be Parrot's unjust luck to be forgiven.
[Wifies]: IP XXXXXXXXXX
Parrot jolts and almost drops his comm. He scrambles to copy the IP down and flick through his comm settings. He pastes it into the server IP box and hovers over the connect button.
12:00
He clicks connect.
Landing softly onto a carpet of podzol in a chilly spruce forest, Parrot lets out a plume of ashen breath. There are a few cabins in a semicircle in front of him, warm light spilling out of each window and from the branches of the towering spruce trees. The afternoon sun barely breaches the canopy, but it speckles the ground just enough to give the world a surreal atmosphere.
There's a campfire pit to one side surrounded by log benches, and there sits Wifies. He looks brilliant in the firelight, dark hair loose without his headband and violet eyes muted.
“Parrot,” Wifies calls out as he stands up. “Hey.”
“Hi,” Parrot says lamely, hesitating for a moment before making his way over to Wifies. The campfire warms him up, but the chill doesn't go away. “How are you?”
“It’s going to rain soon, so I’m feeling it in my joints,” Wifies says, lighthearted as he rubs one of his shoulders. “Sit with me.”
So Parrot does. He’s not in the business of denying Wifies much of anything. He sits on one end of the log bench, and Wifies sits two feet away, turned towards Parrot, and Parrot looks at him, and his mind just— it blanks. His script dissolves like salt in the sea.
“I wanted to start with saying that I am a clone of the original Wifies,” Wifies says, giving Parrot space to try and reboot his brain. “He was. . . making clones for the sake of content, and I was the most successful one. I never knew. And one day, Ken showed up to what I thought was my single player world, and. . . it’s a very long story, but he got me out of there and we, um, we killed the original. He. . . wasn’t going to let me just leave. And those are the main points of my story. I just wanted you to know the important bits before we talk further.”
“Clones for content,” Parrot echoes, eyebrows scrunching up. “Clones for content? He was— what?”
“Making clones to put them into escape rooms for quick video production.”
“The— what the fuck?”
Wifies smiles awkwardly, but doesn’t speak again. He keeps rubbing his shoulder over and over, self soothing maybe, or maybe it’s just that painful from the onset of the rain.
“I'm sorry for how I acted. I don’t care that you’re a clone,” Parrot says, flinching at his own sharpness. He looks away and into the crackling fire. “I care about you. The clone stuff is— is whatever. Or not whatever, I’ll care about it as much as you want me to care about it.”
“Parrot, don’t make me promises you know you can’t keep.”
Wifies’s voice is gentle. It is so, so gentle, with no hint of disappointment or scolding. Parrot’s stomach churns. He wishes again for Wifies’s anger, pointed and cold, instead of this. Anger is easy. This stings like salt in a wound.
“Why do you think I can’t keep to that?”
“Not knowing drives you crazy.”
“You not being there has driven me more crazy.”
“Until you forget, and it starts bothering you again.”
Parrot deserves it, but his heart is heavy and he feels like he’s been shot right through it. Wifies isn’t even being cruel, just honest; he’s right, eventually it will drive Parrot crazy to not be able to talk about the whole situation, to understand Wifies better by prying into his life.
“I don’t like talking about it. It was a bad time for me. I also don’t know everything about. . . myself. About what you’ll eventually ask.”
Parrot has to physically bite his tongue. Wifies doesn't know everything. What if he gets sick? Or badly hurt? What if he starts feeling like something is wrong, and there's nothing to be done for it, because nobody knows? What if—
“This is why I never want to tell anyone,” Wifies sighs out, curling in on himself in the corner of Parrot’s eyes. “If nothing else, just promise me you won't tell anyone?”
“Never,” Parrot says firmly. That's a promise he can keep. “I would never.”
“Thank you, Parrot.”
Their conversation tapers off. The sunlight is disappearing little by little, the promised rain clouds rolling in from far away, far above. Parrot’s feathers puff up a bit at a slight, churning breeze that cuts through the forest.
“I'm sorry, for what it's worth. For lying this whole time.”
“I see why you did. I just ended up proving why lying was the right choice. Nothing to be sorry about.”
“It's funny,” Wifies says in a voice that promises to be anything but funny. “When I'm scared, everything hurts again. I can never remember how they got here, but all the little pains come back again, like the reminder of fear should pull a memory or two up. But there's nothing. I don't remember how I hurt my shoulder this badly. I don't remember how it got fixed. All I remember is that it’s hurt forever. I don't remember a life without pain, and when this all came to light, my reality went from a life where pain existed to a life that was lived with pain.”
Rain begins to dribble through the leaves around them. The campfire hisses and sparks but doesn't extinguish, too large and hot to be daunted by such a pathetic display. The canopy is too dense for the rain to punch through in earnest.
“What are you scared of?” Parrot forces himself to ask. Please don't be afraid of me.
“Losing another part of my life to this. I can never seem to escape the factory. What a lousy escapist I've become, huh?”
Wifies pulls his feet up into the log, resting his chin on his knee and watching the fire. Parrot doesn't remember turning towards him, but he inches closer. The space between them is too large. His hand is too far from Wifies’s own.
“You don't have to lose anything,” Parrot says. “There's nothing to be lost. You can always come back to the server. Nobody there will ever know except for Ken.”
“No matter how this plays out, I lose you.”
“I'm right here. I'm right next to you, right now, what do you mean?”
Parrot feels pathetic, but he doesn't care. Wifies won't look at him, is talking about losing him like Parrot isn't about to crawl out of his skin just so Wifies won't leave him again. The rain thickens the air around them with the promise of more force, and Parrot stretches a wing over Wifies’s head without a single thought.
“You'll always think about the fact I'm a clone. I lost my status of human. I lost our relationship. It took so long for me to feel normal, and now it's all gone.”
“Wifies, look at me please.”
Wifies does. He does, because he still cares, and Parrot is going to be sick at the resigned look in Wifies’s eyes. Parrot is close enough now, so he reaches out and holds Wifies’s face in both hands. He can feel the way Wifies’s jaw works, the thrum of his slow heartbeat in his throat, the way his breathing is shallow and quick. His eyes are a little glassy, a little red, and Parrot adds another wretched tally to the list of times he's made Wifies cry.
“No matter what, you are human, okay? To me, and to Ken, and I'm sure to whoever you were talking to that day as well. Don't ever doubt that.”
Wifies’s expression softens and he just barely nods, which is a small relief for Parrot.
“All I ever think about when you're gone is when you're coming back,” Parrot says. His sincerity bleeds, red and blue smudged across each word. He’ll bleed for them, every drop if that’s what it takes. “And all I've been thinking about this whole time is how I'm going to make it up to you. How I really, really want to do whatever it takes for you to stay. I want you to stay. And not a single one of those thoughts had anything to do with whether you're a clone or not.”
Wifies breathes in. It shakes something horrible. Parrot will crawl his way back into being trusted until he has no more body to move with.
“All of those thoughts had to do with how you've always been with me. Funny, kind, snarky, quick, the only person in this world I've ever been able to close my eyes next to knowing that I've got everything I need right there. That the only way I'll ever be apart from you is by being torn. And none of that, none of it, has changed. I still think all that about you. All that's been added is that I'm an asshole who definitely doesn't deserve your loyalty, but I'm too greedy to let it go so easily.”
That makes Wifies giggle, the sound wet and cracking. Parrot presses the pads of his thumbs under Wifies's eyes. If he's going to make Wifies cry, the least he can do is clean it up too.
“The only thing I ever need you to do is believe in me,” Parrot says, pressing his lips to Wifies’s forehead. It's easier somehow to speak like this, wetness pooling against Parrot’s fingers. “Believe that I love you so much. Believe that I'm going to make this right between us. Believe that learning this has done nothing to change how I feel about you. And if you can't, please believe in me anyway.”
“Of course I believe in you Parrot,” Wifies murmurs, voice crackling. “Why else would I follow you everywhere?”
“I'm that persuasive?”
“Hardly.”
“Hey, not even a little?”
Wifies laughs. It’s a sweet sound. When Parrot pulls back to look, Wifies has his eyes closed, and he’s not quite smiling, but he’s not frowning either, which is a win. 
“You’re determined and direct,” Wifies says, letting the full weight of his head loll into Parrot’s hands. Parrot raises his other wing so they're encompassed by green and red and blue. “Which is what made me agree to help you at first. But then. . . I don’t know. You can be charming when you want to be. Not often, but on occasion.”
Parrot squawks indignantly just to hear Wifies laugh again. Wifies blinks his eyes open, and Parrot wipes away a stray tear.
“Do you know how touchy you are?” Wifies asks suddenly.
“Should I let go?”
“No, I just wonder if you know that. When you were upset, you made a real effort to not reach out. That’s how I knew it was serious.”
“Well, now you know it’s not serious.”
“Mm, this is serious too in its own way. You’re serious that you want me to stay.”
Parrot lifts Wifies’s head so that they’re eye to eye, bloodshot violet to his own green-blue blur, and says, “Deadly serious. I don’t want to be separated like this again. Knowing I had hurt you and couldn’t make it better? The absolute worst time of my life, I think.”
“It sucked,” Wifies agrees, finally cracking a smile. “It’s over now though. I think.”
“Of course it's over now, you're never allowed to leave me like that again,” Parrot scolds him entirely lighthearted and Wifies snorts.
“Don't yell at me again and I won't.”
“I won't, I'm sorry for yelling.”
Wifies laughs again, and despite the fact he's clearly reveling in having Parrot wrapped around his finger like this, Parrot can't even pretend to be annoyed. Wifies won't leave him again. It's all that matters right now. Any question or doubt dies a quiet death when Wifies reaches up to hold both of Parrot’s wrists in a loose grip.
“This is weirdly nice,” Wifies says, closing his eyes again. “I don't think anyone's ever touched my face so gently. I can't remember the feeling.”
“You just say when,” Parrot replies.
He's not being entirely selfless here— there's something soothing about running the pads of his thumbs over Wifies’s skin, like a promise that this moment is as real as when he left. Wifies can't leave him when they're like this, tangled up under Parrot’s wings under the rain.
“Then for just a bit longer,” Wifies says, and Parrot agrees. Just a bit longer.
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vazaha-tya · 2 years
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Can you elaborate on Stiles’ internalized xenophobia, genuinely curious bc I never noticed that at all in show. Is it only in fics? So curious
it's the way he talks about his first name that bothers me. i think it's less present in the show than in fanfics but there's this whole "my name is an unpronounceable monstrosity" thing that very clearly stems from xenophobia and is pushed over the top + reinforced over the fact that "what the hell is a stiles?" is literally a running gag in the show
it's probably not a huge deal, a lot of kids/teenagers are embarrassed by the names their parents have chosen for them, especially when it makes them stand out. but the emphasis on how horrible his name is doesn't sit well with me. because of how often the joke is repeated it feels like he's been taught to hate it and by extension taught to be ashamed of his foreign origins
don't get me wrong, stiles is perfectly allowed to choose his own name and i actually think that should be normalised
but his parents being of polish descent (no matter how far back) and choosing to name their child a polish name in america implies a strong cultural tie that could have been celebrated instead of making it a shameful thing.
the show could have kept stiles' chosen name without diminishing that for the sake of a joke that grew old really quickly imo
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psychomusic · 20 days
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oc time again! + her town & culture (heavily inspired by pre-roman italic populations)
she is suri sauthon (later suri laran, after her marriage). her story is linked to my swtor imperial agent, but most of her life for like. the one year away where she meets him, is spent in a town in the mountains of mirial.
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despite mirial being cold and desert, and many cities developing underground, her town flourishes thanks to a force nexus, venerated in the form of an ancient, sacred, alive crystal. the ecosystem of that mountain depended on what "the horned crystal" was capable of giving them, but mirialans couldn't live off of that alone, so they developed trade and some rudimental technology, even if oftentimes it was bought thanks to the highly profitable trade of a plant used to make medicines that slowed down aging and had overall healing properties.
note: everything that's generated by this nexus has these healing properties BUT they have to be processed, except for those who bathed in the waters of the cavity under the crystal - the "real" nexus, but not the worshipped one. the waters were sacred but they were not thought to be miraculous, unlike the crystal, who instead was thought of as the keystone of the ecosystem: without it, everything would fall apart (and that is partially true: the cavity was the "real" nexus but thanks to the crystal, also strong in the force, the properties were spread all over the mountains). those who bathed in the cavity's waters - so, all of the town, who had a sort of baptism there - could eat the plant, make whatever food with it, and not only that plant, but everything generated by the nexus, that, again, had similar properties. this allowed people to live up to normal life-spans without advanced medicines or, much, really. to those who didn't live there, though, after the processing, had incredible effects, slowing down aging - for those who took it regularly - and making people able to live up to half a century more than the average]
originally, there were four tribes of nomads that lived thanks to horned farm animals that decided to settle down into one bigger town and other smaller settlements, to live off of transhumance. this division of the tribes stayed into the political and social organization: every person belonged to one tribe specifically, and had slightly different rituals and culture. for examples, each tribe had their own priests and healers, with different techniques and traditions. the town, tho, was guided by a group of people in the high priesthood, a position you could reach only by having earned the trust of all tribes. those high priests had many roles: they guided the people into sacred processions common to all the tribes, they managed the trading with outsiders, they did the maintenance of the temple of the summit (the one that functioned as casket to the crystal) and created a special liquid to offer the crystal that helps it grow.
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this particular temple was important because 1. it was very visible, from every angle of the town, and it became an important identity symbol; 2. it stored the venerated horned crystal; 3. it had the altar where sacrifices were made for the crystals. that altar had a hole connected to the cavity, that allowed the liquids to reach the underground; 4. it had various symbols: statues representing each tribe + the high priesthood, and typical mirialan tattoos carved into the wood of the trees that served as columns for the temple, symbolizing 8 values that who dared to enter HAD to have; 5. it was on the way to an important lake (called "mother lake" because the lake the town was built around to depended on the waters of that other lake) where they traveled to in important processions; 6. it was said that a the wizard who unified the tribes made it with its magic, making the plant grow to hold the temple's roof. this wizard was, actually, a force user, obv.
BACK TO HER THOUGH: she's daughter of one of the high priests, who was in charge of managing the trades with outsiders, and lives in a house on the mountains with her mother and him. her parents are from different tribes (that's one of the things that earned him trust from the 4 tribes): when a child is born from two different tribes, they don't pick one to allign to, but they're usually linked automatically to the one with more relatives in it (in her case, the father's tribe: she had many uncles and aunts on his side while her mom only had one sister).
later, though, she got quite tied to her mother's tribe due to a mysterious illness that only her mother's tribe healer was able to cure. she spent 4 years (from 10 to 14 years old) living with the healer and learned her secrets. to better study, she wrote them down. when she returned home, she studied to become a priestess with her father. at 22 (the average age: you can't become priest before your 20s), she was supposed to take a test and become a priestess, but the healer of her mother's tribe died and the tribe asked her to take her place. she couldn't technically do that, but both tribes estimated both her and her parents and she was allowed to become both. she then decided to try to become a high priestess, and became one at 25 (a quite young age). being part of the council, she tried to convince the various tribe healers to unite their knowledges and write them down, and eventually made it. healers still remained tribe based but they now had an "upper, inter-tribe level" similar to high priesthood.
years later, the sacred horned crystal is stolen from the temple by some Hutt mercenaries looking for a profit. given the trust she has earned from all the tribes and the fact that her father is the high priest that deals with outsiders (and she's been hearing stories and advice about it since she was little), she is the one tasked with getting it back. without the growing crystal, the keystone to their ecosystem, the village would have lasted only a few years. in hrr quest, she meets imperial intelligence agent tar'x laran and, as they "solve the mystery" and fight to have it back, they get closer. they'll get married and have a daughter, Vegoia (who's the only one who actually will get to the plot of my story. this was all background)
#i overdeveloped this part of the background. IT'S QUITE LITERALLY USELESS. like. Vegoia will have so few memories of it (she'll become jedi)#i will make a post about her too when I'll finish designing her and outlining her story BUT that may be difficult cuz the frame for the mai#story is quite difficult to match with how developed the other stories are getting and i have to figure it Much Stuff yet#so I'm using these post to like. fix a certain part lf the lore because even my own notes are getting older and messy. better to start over#ANYWAY for those curious & who are still reading (if u exist. WTF THANK U!!); my main story is actually a research file in the jedi archive#BASICALLY i was trying to write my own story for years but then i watched a video (tcw doesn't hold up by sheev talks i think) and i finall#understood how to frame all of these stories together in a way that i feel can add to the star wars lore (because. the others were just#like. okay but who cares unless me? and i did want to have a cool frame that maybe some nerd would be interested in looking into)#so: when ahsoka anakin and obi return from mortis; they tell the council about it (yoda knows about it in s6). sheev talks complained that#it was incredibly full of stuff that was done so poorly it could ruin a big part of the original sw story itself and it was never brought u#again. and honestly i agree. SO my story is about a jedi that is tasked with research on the celestials & by having him figure out stuff i#can minimize/limit/reframe some of the controversial things in there (i love mortis arc so bad but i also agree with his critic. I'll Fix™)#so. many stories will be about people who have previously seen the celestials or have been to mortis one way or another (pre-tcw obv) & hav#had experience & knowledge that the researcher is looking for. so i get to have an anthology with many stories#and have a cool frame I'm intrested in developing + i can experiment with different storytelling styles depending on how he finds out stuff#+ there was another sw story with a similar frame i think? so if i decide to write the story as if it was the file itself and not the searc#i can have even a REFERENCE of what a file like that is supposed to be. LIKE. IT ALL FITS!!!#sw#star wars#swtor#the old republic#star wars oc#imperial agent#star wars fanart#mirialan oc#mirialan#star wars story#star wars the old republic#oc: suri sauthon
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“because he never accepts that it's never been about righteousness--it's about repentance.” except javert killing himself IS repentance.
well, it’s like 12 different things, because bro had gone days without sleeping and very little food and water and he already had low self-worth and kept asking the amis to kill him and just assumed he was going to die AND THEN valjean upended his understanding of the world and morality. he was really going through it & there are a lot of overlapping reasons for why he jumps into the seine.
but javert is like Number One Most Responsible guy in the whole story. taking responsibility is his Thing (forever bitter the musical doesn’t include the punish me monsieur le maire scene). how else, in his derailment, could he atone for his conceived misdeeds other than by handing in his resignation to god? in the brick he had already left a note urging his superiors to treat convicts at toulon better, which is another step in his repentance (and another crime the musical commits by not including it). jumping into the seine was another step.
honestly a lot of ppl who like the book think the musical was dead wrong to exclude him from the big heaven group sing, because it COMPLETELY undermines the themes of forgiveness and compassion threaded throughout les mis. like the musical was simply wrong lol.
This is helpful context! I am still finishing the brick, although I have fully read the abridged version, and that detail about the letter wasn't included, so I didn't know that occurred! (And thank you for the message--this is a long response but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!)
I agree that Javert is certainly deeply distraught and remorseful; like you mentioned, his worldview is literally falling apart, and his actions reflect his mental state. But his death isn't really repentance--in the sense that it's not what God would have wanted. To me it reads like a Judas situation: a desperate realization of a huge mistake, and doing the only thing you think can make it right, namely, ending it all. That's the just punishment for someone so wrong, isn't it?
But true repentance, meaning the repentance that the Lord desires, is about changing your ways, not "paying a price." Had Javert really understood the beauty of Valjean's mercy (an image of Christ's, just as the bishop's undeserved mercy was to Valjean himself), rather than killing himself, he would have lived to also become "an honest man"--in heart. One who could forgive and understand forgiveness, for himself as well as others. One who could recognize that he is not The Law, that he can fall, but that he can also be "brought to the light." One who could accept that men like Valjean, and men like himself, CAN change, and be changed.
It's tragic to me because so much of "Stars," and his character in the book as well as the musical, is about wanting to be righteous, to rise above his birth and the sinfulness he associates it with. It's about wanting to please the Lord by his actions. But in his end, he shows he never understood what God really wanted from him, and that's where my original phrase comes in: not righteousness, but repentance. To live, and face the man you were, knowing it's no longer the man you are. That it's never been about what you've done or can do, but about what's been done for you. That's the Gospel that he could never fully accept.
To use another example you mentioned, that misunderstanding drives why he asks the Mayor (Valjean) to punish him--in his worldview, mercy is unjust, or at the very least, unfair. Evil must be punished; "those who fall like Lucifer fell" receive "the sword." But "as it is written," God "desires mercy, not sacrifice" (Matthew 9:13). God would have wanted Javert to live, and Javert couldn't see that, and that's why it's devastating to me. In his misunderstanding of the heart of God, he misses what would have set him free from the chains of sin he's always been trying to escape.
That's why he's contrasted with Valjean, who (though he carries guilt about his past till the end of his life) is eventually able to face it and confess what he had done to those he loves. He knew there was mercy to be found, if only it was asked for. Javert was too blinded by pride and shame to realize it, and so, while broken, he never was able to truly repent.
For that, you must go on.
#i have a lot more thoughts on this specifically as it relates to pride as javert's fatal flaw. that's what kept him from grasping it all#because fundamentally he believes what he does is what sets him apart as righteous. that's the symbolism of the brand: your deeds define you#so if it's actually been about mercy all along then he has been needlessly cruel when he thought it was righteousness#and all of his actions that he thought made him better have been for nothing. he's carried shame for nothing. been a slave for nothing#les miserables#les mis#inspector javert#responses aka the ramblings of my brain#my meta posts#meta#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#no actually i'm still not done just needed to interrupt for the search tags etc.#shame is only possible where pride is present#that's my hot take. if javert had been truly totally humble he would not have killed himself. he would have accepted the gift of life#which is the same gift we are given in christ!! and that's honestly why it isn't repentance because the whole thing is a christian allegory#his suicide shows that he still regards himself as judge. he determines the punishment#and in his song the lyrics are full of things like 'damned if i'll live in the debt of a thief' 'i'll spit his pity right back in his face'#he is too prideful to accept the gift that christ has given: salvation UTTERLY unearned and undeserved. through grace alone#narratively he represents the Law (old covenant) in christianity and those who still choose to live under it#romans 3:20 says 'therefore by the deeds of the law shall no flesh be justified in His sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin'#but valjean represents one saved by the new covenant. who can see that his 'righteousness is as filthy rags' (isaiah 64:6) and is redeemed#and that is why ultimately from a narrative perspective valjean has salvation and javert does not#not that javert did not see his wrongdoing but that he could not look past his own 'righteousness'#anyway this was all very christian-info-dump but the book is too so i feel it was justified 😂 but that's my interpretation#would love to hear more thoughts if you have them!! i truly hope this didn't come off as combative bc i mean it super genuinely!#kay has a party in the tags#kay is a musical theater nerd#kay is a classical literature nerd
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cosmicterrorthe8th · 6 months
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Another Grant headcanon:
I think he wrote love notes when in relationships, and he went all out with like making the paper scented and stuff. But like he had no good perfume so he ended up using his horrible body spray. So like the lucky boyfriend would like find a paper reeking of the body spray like every once in a while.
Also I think he was someone who fell deep into romance because having a crush and feeling butterflies in his stomach was better than numbness. So he would pursue every crush even if he knew it would not end well because of the thrill of it. I think this sucked but I think he atleast felt like this is a normal way for life to suck.
#honestly I was thinking he continued the note thing with marco in college maybe?#and now marco likes the smell of the body spray even if grant found better perfumes cuz nostalgia#i think i am in my own la dee da world after this episode#where I think if willy takes a break from torturing the parents they should form a circle and become bffs#they should form a circle#toast to rebecca#and then just talk shit idk#i think they would be very funny as a group after they are done grieving#like cassandra would be like how could I have dated such a loser#he literally kidnapped like four of my exs ex friends and put collars on them when we were dating#and they would be like no its not your fault he is that manipulative#and then one of them would talk about their ex to comfort her#and then somwhow it would come out that willy is like the age of their grandparents#and cassandra would be like why did this senior citizen get me so bad#he told me to make him a sandwich and I#a multimillionaire made him a sndwich#this will probably never happen in canon#dndads#grant wilson#dungeons and daddies#the tags are their own seperate post at this point#dndads s2#looking back on this(tags)#all the spouses knew willy as a nice guy who saved them#rebecca was the only one who suspected him so thats why he killed her#they must be feeling so duped getting tortured except for marco who saw him kill a man#cassandra has been feeling duped since heaven#this is killing me all of them are having conversations in my head now the comedy and the pain is killing me mostly the comedy#marco li wilson#grant li wilson
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finexbright · 1 year
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#as i said i'm only now catching up on what happened at red rocks and honestly i'm just so confused as to#why people are getting hate mail for being at a show???? like unless you were right there at the show you will NOT know what's going on#you can't just ''leave'' a venue because there's security measures ensuring that people don't run and cause a stampede#i get that the team there sucked and should've been much better equipped for an outdoor venue but why the fuck are we blaming the fans????#and then being mad at louis??? yeah i get that his tweet wasn't the best but i'd imagine that he was trying to help out as much as he could#ensuring fans were safe and taken care of. pretty sure he is the one paying all hospital bills and stuff as well#yeah i know he's an artist and he has people doing things for him but also it's louis. he might not have been at ground zero#but i bet he was doing everything he could to help get fans to safety and he had to tweet something amidst all that#just to reassure fans a bit more and he did what he could#besides. i'm sorry but instead of being all ''louis/his team should've done more'' can we all just make sure that the fans#who were actually in that hail storm and who actually got horribly injured and who actually went through such a scary situation#are feeling okay? like why are we arguing about trivial things when what matters the most out of this situation is the fans and their safety#i honestly need people who were not at the venue and people who do not understand how traumatic things can be#to just shut up and log off#anyways to everyone present at red rocks i'm sending you so much love and i'm so sorry something so traumatic happened#i hope everyone is safe and is being treated for their injuries 💌
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mokeonn · 11 months
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One of my favorite things about being in my early 20s is that I'm starting to understand that I can use things not for their intended purpose. When you're growing up, you get told what an object is and what its intended purpose is, and as a kid/teen, I just accepted all of it at face value. As a young adult it's finally clicking that I can simply do things a different way if it makes me happier. Sure, I was taught that you stand to take a shower, but there's nothing stopping me from just sitting if I don't feel like it, ya know? I might have always had my medication in the kitchen, but if I'm no longer remembering to take it, I can just move it somewhere where I can remember. You don't have to specifically store all food in the kitchen, you can have a little snack cart or snack station in another room.
The downside to finding out the various ways you can use objects is that you develop habits that would probably go on an r/relationships post where everyone says you're a little freak.
#simon says#i just developed a new habit (it's too tmi to put here) and I just know that it's some weird shit#it works and it makes me feel better so I'm gonna keep doing it#but it's some shit that would end up viral where everyone would go 'yo op you should break up with them thats weird' 😔#i was just thinking about this though because every week or so I learn that I can just do what I want#because there's no fucking object use police I can do what I want#i HIGHLY suggest getting into this habit. if you find something annoying or frustrating you can just do it differently#'I hate washing the dishes because my legs hurt from standing for so long' you can bring a chair and sit or you can break it up into chunks#like on the one hand I'm learning this because I have autism and a plethora of other mental disorders#and it's FINALLY clicking that I can self accommodate whenever and however I so please#I'm just sorta learning that if doing something makes me feel better/happy/gets the job done to do that thing#even if it requires using an object in an odd way#hell there's even some little things I've been playing with#for example: my whole life we sorta just lifted blinds only about halfway up#just sorta how we did it ya know#well recently I decided I wanted more natural light in the sunroom/my office so I wouldn't have to turn on the lamp#and I lifted the blinds all the way up to the very top#and honestly?? it fucking rules. the room looks nicer; i get natural light; i can see the forest out back and it's quite calming and nice#like for ages I just never thought about doing that because it just never occurred to me that I could#i just always put blinds about halfway up because that's about how high blinds do in my household#another little one I learned is that I can just... wash my hair#sometimes when I get too depressed or if my body doesn't need a shower but my hair is greasy#I just shove my head under the bathtub facet and wash my hair#it's just a small thing but for years if my hair needed to be washed I would just take a full shower#now I just fix my greasy hair. bc greasy hair is a huge ick for me but sometimes my body is still clean or im too tired to fully shower#like there's nothing stopping me from doing that and it doesn't hurt anyone. it's just a way of bathing that I wasn't taught#but yeah those are some recent examples of me learning I can just... do stuff differently#the free will is kicking in babes and it has decided I love finding ways to use things differently#it's why im doing a bg3 run where I just press loot all no matter what and use whatever I can in odd ways#anyways I might delete this later might not who knows
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le-agent-egg · 3 months
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This is not me hating but is it ok if I ask how come you think THH is badly written?
Don’t worry about it! Personally for me, I really dislike how many of the characters were treated, especially with the first character (how Leon and Sayaka weren’t given proper time to develop, how Makoto in my opinion does seem a bit flat in terms of personality, how the writers killed Leon and Sayaka off first because they were sick of drawing them). The second chapter also irks me with how they treated Toko’s DID and Chihiro’s gender, though I will admit a lot of stuff in game with Mondo and Taka’s relationship was actually pretty well written and honestly really cute. And I think Sakura’s death was honestly (in my opinion) one of the best parts of the game, though this could just be because I love Sakura.
This is just a personal gripe but I feel like post chapter two the game gets almost slow, especially with killing Taka off before he got any development and Celeste’s really weird motive. Plus I wish the fifth trial was just a little more interesting, and that some of the survivors like Hina, Hiro, Byakuya and Toko got a little more time to shine in game. I’m happy they got expanded on in other media, I just wish THH (especially the latter half) wasn’t so Kyoko and Makoto centric.
By no means am I saying THH is completely terrible! Believe me, I love it and I love the characters, I just really wish everyone got expended upon in game more. That’s just my opinion, and obviously I’m missing out on a lot of both good and bad things in this post. (I’m very sleep deprived rn haha) Just to summarize I think it’s writing could have been really improved if everyone got just a bit more screen time!
(I do yap a little more in the tags, mostly just about 1-1 and 1-2)
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silverandebony · 3 months
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oh hey trauma surrounding watching other people eat while you, if you're very lucky, get something approximately equivalent, but more realistically either get something significantly worse or have to provide your own unappetizing food. what's up, i didn't miss you
#i mean yeah i'm used to it#but that doesn't mean it doesn't fucking feel bad every time still#dietary restrictions: the joys thereof *depressed jazz hands*#personal#silvered words#in this case yeah i could try asking to see if i could get that equivalent#and in theory the worse they can say is no#but. honestly upon consideration. that'd be a pretty shitty no to get#so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ idk#if you have friends and family members with dietary restrictions (you probably do) don't do this do them.#do the bare courtesy of asking. yes there are some who will forever have to bring their own food but at least make a fucking effort to chec#and if you are at all able provide something equivalent for them to what is being provided for everyone else#don't make them have to choose between going hungry or hoping they have something they can bring#and if you've done that to anyone in the past frankly you owe them an apology#if you were the person this was done to. i'm so sorry you deserved better. you deserve good food and you deserve to get to eat with everyon#else#you deserve to partake in the human ritual of sharing a table and community as you eat together#it's so fucking awful to be on the outside of that#don't fucking do that to people#anyway dad got the visiting family pizza today and didn't check with me#i was going out anyway but like. not for supper#and i have a storebought glutenfree pizza in the freezer but that's.... really not the same as fresh regular pizza. believe it or not.#so everyone else got supper and once home i got to.... scrounge what i could find in a fridge full of food i can't eat.#cool. great. fantastic. love it.#anyway no points for guessing what i've been on and off spiraling about for the past. however long.
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goldensunset · 9 months
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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caffeinatedopossum · 2 years
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I think I'm glad I survived but I don't know if that's true, all I know is that if I had to relive those years a second time, I wouldn't be able to make it. At least the first time, I never knew what was coming next, I never knew how much worse it would get.
Knowing all that would happen, I don't think I could have reasoned with myself that it was worth it. All I can do is thank my past selves for giving me the opportunity to have the wonderful life I have now.
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