#but honestly writing this felt like free therapy so

[da-proti-toku-grem]

1, 17, 13, 15!

Sorry this took so long but here:

1. what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

Umm this one's interesting, let's see... (in no particular order) sorry, this one ended up being long af but i'm not deleting it lol

- I'm going to start with the fact that I spent almost my entire childhood having no friends (except for my lifelong best friend, but we live in different cities and before we had phones we only saw each other about 3 or 4 times a year), because I already talked a little about it in the post I made a while ago. As I said, honestly, the fact that they ignored me or picked on me didn't affect me directly, but it's true that it has made it very difficult for me to trust people, besides the fact that I "hide" many things about myself (eg. my tastes, my opinions on certain topics or my problems) because of the fact that I've never had anyone I could tell it to, so it has become a bad habit I guess

- Discovering tumblr and meeting people through here. It's a little connected to what I just said, because I've always thought that no one was interested in the same things as me, that I was "weird" because I liked things that maybe people didn't even know about. But when I discovered tumblr and started to see that there are actually a lot more people and that I'm really not the only one, it made me realize that it's not "weird" that, to give the example of Joker Out, it makes me happy to see videos/photos of a group of five guys who live in a country I don't know, who speak a language I don't know and who don't even know I exist. They just make me happy and that's it, if it bothers someone they can just look away, you don't have to comment on everyone's lifes :/

- Oh man, idk what else to say... Well, let's say that being an older sister (and the only girl between all my cousins, at least until my little cousin was born) has really shaped me. You know, the fact that I'm always the first one to do stuff (starting high school, going to uni, turning 18 and all that stuff) always makes me kinda anxious because I don't know what to expect. In my brother's case, he can always ask me how I did it, or how it went when I did something like "how was your first day of high school" or "you had this teacher one year, how are they like?" and things like that. Maybe it seems stupid, but when you don't have all those simple little things that he knows/can ask me anytime, you never know what to expect and that makes me so anxious (to the point that I cry even, and I don't cry easily so...)

13. what are you doing right now?

Crying because I suddenly remembered a song that I loved a few years ago called Even Angels by Carlos Marco & Blas Cantó and the lyrics are just so 🤧😭 like:

"When you sky comes falling down and the silence steals the sound, don't be afraid, know it's okay to be fragile, even angels hit the ground before they fly"

The lyrics + their voices give me goosebumps every time

I discovered it at the perfect moment and I remember crying every time I heard it and... yeah

15. what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

The first thing that came to my mind was: anywhere I am with my family, with my middle brother's random jokes and my little brother's warm hugs OR being alone in my room, petting my dog and ​​doing absolutely nothing (for once)

17. name 3 things that make you happy

- My dog 🥰 (she deserves her own place in the list)

- Listening to music all day and movie nights with my family

- Joker Out/Jere/all my mutuals (and non-mutuals that I interact with). I won't expand too much because I already said A LOT in the first one, but just seeing their content and listening to their music makes me so happy. And also my mutuals because I love interacting with y'all and going crazy about these silly bois together every day <3

+ Bonus because it also deserves it's own place in the list:

- Jure's smile. He literally lights up the whole world when he smiles, I love my sunshine boy so much 🥹

I know I technically said more than 3 but I categorized them lmao

questions I think would be fun to be asked

[lixzey]

Letters

warnings: mentions of therapy, grief, child abuse, keeping a child in a basement, starvation and malnutrition of a child, mentions of bruises, mentions of child protective services, bullying, and hospitalization

a/n: PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION ‼️‼️‼️This has very detailed scenes which may not be suitable for everyone. The last five letters will be the same, so heads up!

The Thirteenth Letter

Timothée stared out into the window, taking a deep breath as the plane soared through the clouds. He knew he had to continue reading the rest of Y/N's letters, as painful as it might be. He was terrified; there was no denying that. The mere thought of a young Y/N going through more suffering made his stomach churn, but he needed to know more. He would find her, protect her, and be there for her in any way he could. He couldn't change the past, but he could certainly make a difference in her future. He had to be there for her, to listen to her, to support her, and to show her that she wasn't alone anymore. Timothée swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to make sure that she felt safe and loved. 

Timothée took another deep breath before opening the thirteenth letter, dated August 11, 2023.

Dear Timothée, 

Sorry, this letter took a long time to write. I got caught up in therapy. I have a new therapist; her name's Gina. 

She asked me about the letters since I had mentioned them to Julie before and they were written in my file. Gina asked me if the letters were helping me, and of course I said yes. She asked if I could show her one, and I did. She took it and ripped the letter into pieces, right in front of my eyes. I honestly didn’t know how to feel; I just stared at the pieces of paper on top of the table.

Gina said a lot of things about coming to terms with my past in a natural and slow process and that maybe these letters weren't helping as much as I thought they would. Writing to you was riling up those painful and bad memories, only making me feel worse. She also mentioned that false hope wasn’t good for me, which is bullshit because I don't really hope for anything anymore.

I know you won't reply. I know you won't even read any of my letters. Hell, I know you won’t ever receive any of the letters I wrote. I just like to pretend that you do, that's all. 

After the 'session', Gina gave me a pamphlet. It was 'How to Deal with Grief and Coming to Terms with Loss'. It was shit, really. Because one of the bullet points says to talk about your loss with another loved one. Funny, because all of my loved ones are dead. So here I am, talking to you, because you are the next best thing. 

So anyway, here's the continuation of the story of my fucking life. 

I still spent the rest of my days down in the basement—locked up alone, scared, and nearly dead. I was sickeningly thin from malnutrition and dehydration. Bruises littered my body in all shapes and sizes; I had scratches all over—out of frustration and skin irritation from allergies, since I didn't get the chance to fucking clean myself. Every day, I prayed for some kind of miracle to set me free from that living nightmare. I didn't know how much longer I could survive in that hellhole. I could hear my aunt's voice upstairs every night, laughing and carrying on as if I wasn’t three feet under her house. It made me sick to my stomach to think about how she could go about her life while I suffered down below.

It didn't get any better, until my eleventh birthday came around. Honestly, I didn't know how long I was down in the basement. I had lost track of time, but it felt like I had been down here for years. Then one day, my aunt just dragged me out of the basement and shoved me into a bedroom upstairs. It turns out a social worker was looking for me. I was eleven, and the school year had just begun, but I wasn't at the local school, so child protective services got worried. My aunt got to work fast; she made me look as if I wasn't abused—that I was a normal and happy kid living with her. She did a fucking great job, I'm not gonna lie—she covered each and every blemish on my body with foundation and concealer—fucking impressive. She bought clothes, toys, and everything a child would need just so she could avoid getting arrested for child neglect. 

When the child protective services came again, I was forced to act like everything was alright and that I was in a happy home. I desperately wanted to tell the social worker the truth. I wanted to scream so badly and just run into the social worker's arms and beg her to take me away, but I couldn't. 

My life got a little bit better after that day, though. My aunt was forced to let me stay in the room upstairs rather than the cold basement downstairs since child protective services visited me every week. It was easier for her to let me stay in the bedroom than to make me look decent every time. I was never to leave the room unless necessary, not that I wanted to leave the room with my aunt around the house. I still got the bare minimum from her—I still got her scraps of food, but it was better than nothing. 

Then middle school happened. 

At first, I was excited to make friends with kids my age; I never had any growing up since I usually stayed at home with my parents and there weren’t really any kids in the neighborhood I grew up in. So, naturally, I thought that making friends would be easy.

I was too fucking stupid to believe that it would be easy. I mean who was I kidding? Middle schoolers were fucking mean—well,  not high school mean, but you get the point. I was bullied relentlessly, and I always dreaded going to school; it was torture. The kids in my class always made fun of me, calling me names and treating me like shit. I was the freakishly thin girl who always wore baggy clothes that no one wanted to be friends with. There was this one time when this girl—her name was Claire—tripped me in the hallway, and I crashed into the janitor’s cart. Bleach and other cleaning chemicals spilled everywhere—on my skin, on my clothes, and in my hair. It burned my skin so badly that I had to be taken to the hospital to get treated properly. Until now, I still have burn scars on my arms and neck area. I had to wear long-sleeved shirts to cover up my arms, though in the long run, the burns weren’t the only reason why I covered my arms up.

I just wanted a normal fucking life, but life decided to push me into a living hell. Was that too much to fucking ask? I’m so damn tired, Tim. I don’t think I can live like this anymore. I’ve been through so much, and what’s written in this letter isn't even half of what I’ve gone through.

I think it’s about time to stop writing, don’t you think? As if you’d answer me, God, I never fucking learn.

Maybe Gina does have a point. Maybe these letters really are making everything worse.

All my love, 

Y/n.

Timothée sighed, folding the letter and tucking it back in its envelope. He wanted to let her know that he was—in fact, listening—granted that it was a year late, he was listening. The pain and suffering she went through were unimaginable, and the guilt he felt for not being there for her when she needed him most was killing him. If the letters had just arrived earlier, he would have done anything to make it all easier for her. 

“I hope you're still here, Y/n. I hope you didn't give up.”

@helens3amstuff @gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @tchalamss @ashlynnmalfoy @imnotoverlyobsessive @crazycat-ladys-blog @michakune @mxltifxnd0m @spencerr3idd @dangelnleif @sthkate @ferrjulie @mel-vaz @elsagreeer @lovely-maryj @meowmeowmau @bobthe-turmpetman29 @saintcosette @ashisabitgay @ladyladybuggg @nyrasunderwrld @lizzxoxo @remussbitch @jadahxx @starrystormwritings @ell0ra-br3kk3r @dreary-salem @drewsandsebastianswife @greenapplegrass @lilianelena39 @danni-phant0m @haybellewrites @cloudlst @si4a @ev3ningrain @ttulipwritezz @bambikitten @bullets-from-another-dimension @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @reg-arcturus-black @abruuinlove @marina468 @3stelar @timhalamet @st4rf00k3r @idli-dosa @jimins15thhair @blacksgarden

[malfoyswand]

𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬

pairing: draco malfoy x reader

summary: draco malfoy comforts you about your biggest insecurity.

word count: 1.5k

genre: fluff

warnings: bullying, insecurities, one instance of swearing, a little bit of nudity (but nothing sexual)

author's note: honestly writing this was like free therapy to me. i plan to write and post a part two to this (featuring smut, everybody cheer) in a couple of days too!

➪ masterlist | requests

You couldn't help but let a sigh escape from your lips as you heard the sound of knocking on your door. Truthfully, if you could have it your way, you would be content with not seeing another human being for the rest of the day.

"Can you come back later? I'm trying to sleep." You called out from your bed, pulling your blankets over your head to block out the knocking. Sleep was far from your mind, you only wished to be alone with your sorrow.

The knocking ceased. Just as you thought whoever it was had walked away, you heard the door creak open anyway. It was probably one of your roommates, you hoped they would leave soon enough. 

You felt someone lift up the blankets slightly and lay down next to you in the bed. Turning your head slightly, you saw it was Draco Malfoy. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw him, but the pain in his eyes saddened you further.

"We both know you're not going to sleep yet, (Y/N)." Draco spoke softly, one of his arms wrapping itself around your shoulders. "Now, please tell me what happened out there."

The last thing you wanted to do was talk about that, but you knew your boyfriend deserved some sort of explanation for your sudden behavior. 

The last Saturday of May was always spent with Draco and his group of friends. It was tradition at this point to spend the whole day at the Black Lake, swimming and getting into all sorts of mischief. However, this year was slightly different. Draco Malfoy had finally asked you to be his girlfriend a few months prior.

While it seemed as if everyone else in the group was ecstatic, Pansy Parkinson was not. You had known for a long time that she had developed a crush on Draco, and wasn't too pleased when Draco had turned her down. Ever since, the tension between the girl who used to be your best friend and yourself has been difficult for you to manage. 

Pansy had finally snapped at the Black Lake and told you how she had felt. While you were watching the Slytherin boys play some sort of game near the water, Pansy sat next to you. The conversation started off pleasant, but it quickly turned brutal.

It started off with Pansy complimenting your navy blue bikini, but in the same breath, she mentioned that "it's brave of you to wear something that revealing, considering your marks and all." Her hands touched the stretch marks on your stomach and thighs, giving them a pinch. You felt your breath become trapped in your throat, she knew they were your biggest insecurity. 

Before you could even think, you found yourself running away from the lake, not even noticing Draco was following your footsteps. 

As you told this story to him, you could see him clench his jaw in anger. "That bitch. Does she not realize what she did was cruel? I'm going to have a talk with her tomorrow, and if she continues, let me know. I will fix this, she can’t talk to you like this and get away with it."

"Draco, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to run off like that. Just give me a minute, I'll come back-" Before you could finish the offer, you felt his lips press softly against yours. He pulled away all too soon, resting his forehead on yours. 

"Oh hush, darling. They'll be alright without us, we're staying right here." To further his point, he pulled you into his arms. There was no other place you would rather be trapped. Only then did you realize he was still in his swim trunks, with no shirt. "I need to make sure that you know you are beautiful."

"I-I'm not." It came out as a quiet, defeated whisper as you felt the sobs begin again. Your insecurities were something you never shared with your boyfriend before, you didn't want to burden him any further. 

"Oh.." Draco slightly panicked, not sure exactly what to do. He had never seen you cry before. "No, no. Please don't say that. Pansy couldn't have been more wrong, you look like an angel. Why would you think any different?"

It was hard to speak, between your cries and your voice being muffled from Draco pulling you closer to him. He wiped away each tear that fell, listening intently as you spoke. 

"Because of what she said. I mean, she was right. I have stretch marks all over me, and the bikini only just shows them even more. I don't know what I was thinking! They make me so ugly and it's embarrassing, when no other girl there had them."

One of his hands moved your chin upwards, forcing your eyes to meet his gray ones. "Stop it right there, (Y/N). You are not ugly, and who cares about some marks? You are absolutely perfect in my eyes."

He must have been able to tell that a part of you didn't believe him. You knew he loved you and would never lie to you, he truly did think you were beautiful. But you couldn't bring yourself to think of yourself in that way.

You felt him shift next to you as he sat up, moving the blankets away so he could see you fully. You were still in that cursed bikini, biting your lip as you realized he could now see you in broad daylight. "Draco, what are you doing?"

"Well if you won't believe my words, maybe you'll believe my actions." A small smile spread on his face as his hands gently found themselves roaming down your body, his eyes soaking in every piece of exposed skin he could. You were about to protest to explain that you weren't in the mood for anything his mind might come up with.

"Before you ask, no, I'm not trying to initiate anything else. Would it be okay if I touched your stomach?" It was as if he could read your mind. You were terrified that if Draco touched your stomach and felt the marks that had invaded your skin, he would become disgusted. But at the same time, his touch was comforting. It was something you knew could calm you down. 

With a nod, he grinned and lowered himself down until his eyes were level with your stomach. His fingertips gently caressed down until they reached your lower abdomen. "Merlin, you're beautiful. You belong in a museum of art, my love."

His words made you blush bright red, as your hands covered your face to hide this fact. "Hardly." That was all you could manage to choke out between your embarrassment and the sobs that still begged to break free from your chest.

"Please, look at me." You obeyed, placing your hands at your side once more and looking down to look at Draco. "I'm not kidding around, you are stunning. If anything, these marks make you even more so."

You felt his fingertips gently graze upon each stretch mark, your breath hitching as he did so. His lips replaced them in an instant, as he kissed each mark he could find. Eventually, the path of marks led him to pulling down your bikini bottom very slightly to only kiss the ones on your hips. 

You knew he could feel every slight bump on his lips, the thought of it filled you with shame. His kisses were feather-like, it was as if he was afraid that if he kissed your skin too hard, you would break underneath him. But as you looked at him, he didn't seem to mind.

If anything, Draco Malfoy seemed to adore it. He kept his eyes mostly on yours, but occasionally, he would look down at the stretch marks before him. His kisses were slow, as if he was trying to take his time in memorizing every curve of each mark. His hands gently rubbed the curves of your waist, smiling to himself as he felt your body relax at his touch.

Once he was finally done kissing each mark he could find, you couldn't help but smile at the look of achievement on his face. His eyes seemed to have a glimmer to them, as if he had just won a prize.

"Actually, I take back my statement from before. You're not just something to be put in a museum for people to look at, until they get bored and move along. You deserve something much more permanent, like a sculpture to last the ages."

"What?" A look of confusion spread across your face. What was Malfoy going on about, comparing you to pieces that belonged in some sort of art collection?

"What I mean is," a soft laugh came from Draco's lips as he laid down next to you again, his fingers caressing your jawline this time around. "You should be worshiped, darling. Please never repeat the words you said earlier. Those marks are breathtaking, I could spend eternity kissing them.”

You could feel the tears form in the corner of your eyes, but from joy instead of sorrow. Draco was puzzled, worried that his words may have hurt you unintentionally. You learned your head into the crook of his neck, feeling his hands caress your back. 

“I thought you would hate them, you know?” You managed to whisper into his shirt. He responded by shushing you, his fingertips finding their way through your hair.

“I could never, (Y/N). I’ve never seen anything, or anyone, more beautiful.”

[prettynalilmagic]

ℙ𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝔸 ℂ𝕒𝕣𝕕: 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕜- ℝ𝕖𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟

Decks: Considerate Cat Tarot Vol 2, The Dark Mirror, Tarot of Pagan Cats, The Wild Unknown Archetypes

This reading will be shadow work based on what exactly are we repressing and not aware of. And how to work through it with advice from me and tarot. Take everything as a small guide, tarot is a tool for guidance and not to see or predict the future.

Pile one

First things first, Go get therapy.

"Its not about choosing the chains.

Its about choosing them again and again."

Pile one welcome to your little section. So, I had a theme card for your overall shadow, which was Addicted. At first, I was troubled with finding out exactly what type of addiction was causing you to repress your shadow, and I kept pulling cards and I realized that your shadow is built on way too many situations that come back to your dissatisfaction from your life. Pile One your addicted to hating yourself. You have heavy cards that show me that there’s this feeling of self-inflicted despair. Your shadow emits contempt for life, you hate yourself and honestly hate life overall. The hanged Man in reverse shows me that you grew up very much internally, most of your experiences are based inwardly as you felt left behind on life. Everyone seemed to reject you. Your loved ones, and people who are supposed to be close, turned their backs on you at some point so in turn you did the same. The world rejected you growing up. Life showed you, that you aren’t deserving of love, so you internalized that and have subconsciously clung onto that delusion.

Pile one do you feel like nothing can change you? Nothing can fix you? That things will stay the same or get worse over time? Have you even thought about how you feel about yourself truly? When was the last time you willingly reflected on your own self-image? Do you think there's any motivation for you to live your life beyond what traps you? Going back to your theme card, your repression is very much self-imprisoned. You don’t see you can work through any internal conflict and you in turn have been chaining your own self to depression. Nobody is perfect, that's true, but self-discovery is beautiful however it's also difficult. This won't be an easy task.

Mentally, you’re at rock bottom almost every day. Do you dissociate a lot? Do you even know if you do? Because I recently discovered that I dissociate a whole lot throughout my life and have never known I was doing it. Human brains are truly mind blowing, it can take and hold so much stress and pain, then hide it away from us so when we don’t keep reliving and feeling all that hurt.

Nobody wants to struggle and be depressed, and our brain very much plays a part in helping us hide it away. Chances are you downplay or don’t care to think or consider your own shadow self.

I'm not fit to diagnose, but pile one look into Complex Trauma, C-PTSD, and being Shame Bound. Learn about various types of traumas, habits, and attachment styles on YouTube it will help you get a rough idea on understanding what you need to improve on without using therapy. However, please if you can, look into seeing a psychologist and a therapist.

I know life is super tough as it is for you and you might not be able to afford it but research if there's anything you can afford and if you truly have searched, look into self-help groups online and self-help programs as well. There are free eBooks you can illegally get, pirate that shit. Get a tarot deck for yourself and do shadow work readings. Also please stop reading all the dumbass future partner and next lover readings, invest love into your own damn self before investing it onto some person you most likely haven’t even met or aren’t going to meet. Sorry it's a pet peeve of mine. Chances are you’re reading this on your phone or computer, get on the notes app and write out that little ass of yours. Please there’s still so many ways to make your own mental stability easier on yourself. There's so much stuff you can do if you truly look into it, I recommend watching Patrick Teahan, Heidi Priebe, Psych2Go, and Kati Morton, they're my personal favorite therapy youtubers, and they can help you.

Okay going back to the cards, and not my own personal input, the hanged man in reversed also shows me that it was your environment growing up that has formed you into who you are. Life for you looked like everything was so big and almost outta reach for you to grasp, but you’re still here, you have developed habits that has made growing up easier, you learn to get by.

Which leads me to the present, you got the 9 of cups, meaning that your experiences have made you who you are. It ties back to all those built of moments of isolation and lack of love for yourself that you grew up with. Obviously when we grow up knowing others are treating or making you feel some type of way, you take from that and build your mindset on all those experiences.

This hatred is what we use to get by and we build ourselves up to work with our hatred. You know you felt like you are replaceable or have a deep fear of being left behind, we go outta our way to justify being the ones to leave others and replace other people with anything else to get that same feeling, until the same trigger happens. It's a never-ending cycle and growing up it can actually be helpful. As a child we only experienced all the heavy emotions and were not shown consistent or significant amount of effort for our needs, so we learn to not expect that and run away from anything that triggers that little child in you. No one was there to show love so obviously unhealthy habits and mindsets get developed and grow up with us and only gets worse and worse as time flies by. Pile one, you are depressed and hopeless but cheer up, just because your life hasn’t been the best does not equate to that being a set-in stone reality for the rest of your life.

You can make your own life better; the daughter of cups reverse shows me that there's this desire to play around with stuff, just do it. Stop thinking about it, do it. Fuck shit up, stop being afraid of messing stuff up, you think the ones who have hurt you stopped when they were making you feel not cared for or loved? Nope, so just have fun.

Do that fun hobby idea you been thinking about. Get messy with life, even if it is creating something very sloppy. You want to express yourself some type of way but feel like you shouldn’t? Well just do it, even if you feel like a joke or an idiot just try it and see how it feels. Even if you don’t necessarily want to do something or show off a different look or skill, and your more so afraid of making mistakes and not being perfect, just push that thought to the back of your head.

If you spill your drink and make a mess, guess what you can clean it up, you don't have to get mad at yourself or at the drink. Shit happens, and why should you submerge yourself into all the small things with these big emotions like anger and sadness. Relax and rest those pretty eyes. Which goes into your last main card, Four of Swords. Again, relax for once, don’t guilt yourself. Everyone who has it easy, allows themself to relax from time. Even if they don’t doesn't mean that you should do the same thing. Have fun, learn more about who you are and why you are here. There’s so much self-sabotage that goes unnoticed by everyone.

Learn from yourself, thank who you had to become to get to here, and learn how to work past that when that shadow side doesn't help you anymore. You don’t have to 100% love yourself to overcome your shadow. Because here’s the thing, you’re not overcoming it, you’re learning to accept it and work with it to do better. Your shadow is who you are and use it to your ability to grow. Pile one get outta here and watch some therapy videos pls, you will be happier even for just a second.

Pile Two

"What I can't have forever, I will have for a minute. What I can't have for a minute, I will hold to me for one second."

Hello pile two, welcome to your pile. I assume for the most part your shadow is not something you shy away from because quite frankly there's not a significant amount of repression that is being displayed; I feel like this kind of shifted into a little bit of a motivational reading from your guides to tell you about one specific flaw in you rather to tackle down one serious hindering issue.

You guys got two theme cards for your theme of the overall shadow side that you're repressing. I pulled Masquerade and Queen of my world, for you pile two. Both cards have one thing in common. Both are attached to the word Bargain. Which tells me that you tend to do the most to procrastinate the process of bad emotions or habits. Masquerade is all about living in the moment and doing everything in your power to savor and dwell into the fleeting moments you so desperately want to hold onto and stick to. Queen of my world is all about holding onto a facade that hinders the possibility of being seen as anything other than graceful and powerful. You also pulled the daughter of wands in reversed. Which tells me that you procrastinate as well, and you can honestly be very disorderly as well.

You repress your shadow self because of how uncomfortable you are for being seen as who you wish you could be.

You know when we live our whole lives trying to maintain a certain image, it can be so hard and honestly draining. It makes sense why you want to slack off and just live in the moment because maintaining the way you think you have to come off to other people is very draining and if you think about it, your facade is stressful weather you are or aren't aware of it. Having live off of short moments and a false persona is only going to fulfill you for so long, do you think pretending to be stronger, smarter, or fiercer than you really going to stop you from embracing your true inner strength? Because aren't you tired of always having to consistently perform? I don't know if you are even doing it for yourself because doing that for so long will tire you out and make you unsure of who you are deep down.

Pile two, I did pull the son of cups. Which is a very charming and very appealing person to be around, this just reinforces that you will be this at all times for everyone and everything. Given that this is the card that's supposed to represent your present reality, I believe that you are a very much cookie cutter desired person. Someone who is always on top of how you appear as. All I see is that there's this big grand facade of being this person that is so desirable and welcoming. Everyone wants to present themselves in a good light to an extent but for you pile two it's very apparent that this isn't a want for you, it is a need and you do whatever needs to be done to be this beautiful picture-perfect version of yourself, but your human, so guess what? You are at a point where you have to chill out and learn to be yourself, not the ideal version at all times. It's okay to not be what everyone else wants you to be, or what your parents want you to be or whoever else you want to idealize you. You're a human, you're only capable of so much, you're flawed, and you can want to do or partake in things that are different from what should be expected from you. 

I pulled The High Priestess in reversed for you as clarification for Son of Cups.  Which tells me that you are a very spiritual person, which would make sense, you are reading a tarot reading. Besides that, it brings up to light that your inner self is not being done justice.

Do you even understand who you truly are? Not what you think you have to be to maintain approval.

This facade habit is not aligned with your highest potential. Because face it, do you think you will be happy for the rest of your life pretending to be something that isn't the real you? Just because others think you will be does not make that idea a reality, stop deceiving your true potential.

I don't want to assume but my guess is you may or may not have immigrant parents that have kind of forced this urgency to be a certain way to please them. At the end of the day, you know how you want to be or wish to be. If you don't relate to that portion obviously disregard it, it could be anything from grades, skills, and appearance. Maybe it's a controlling figure, which could be a lover or a person in power over you causing you to feel like you cannot be authentically yourself. 

The next card for you is Chariot, which is all about heading straight to where you want to be. Who you want to be. Nobody is going to be able to do it for you. You have built a wonderful mask for yourself for so long that it'll be hard to take it off and learn what you look like when you aren't wearing one. It will be unnatural to you at first, but you will get used to it. You got this pile two. I hope the best for you beautiful. 

Pile Three

"I cannot recognize myself. But I'm still me."

Welcome to your reading Pile three. I pulled two oracle cards; Downcast Pride and Is this Me, which the purpose is to reflect on the main themes of your reading. Is this Me is associated with the last stage the Dark Mirrors Oracle grief cycle, which the stage of acceptance, whereas Downcast Pride is associated with the depression stage.

Which brings up the primary point- your shadow self that is being repressed, is your own lack of attachment to joy or fulfillment for your life. This pile does remind me a lot about pile one, as both were attached to the stage of depression. There's been this emptiness in our lives for so long, that we become very dull in life and don't bother to work or see things in a way outside of that empty feeling. Yet, on contrast to pile one, pile three is more so at the phrase of depression morphing into the stage of acceptance. Pile three has wisdom and more insight compared to both previous piles. Pile three you have this inward recognition that everyone is within means of having the capacity to alter your method of thinking and act based on that. You're the more self-aware pile so congratulations on that. I got the High Priestess reversed, Nine of Cups reversed, and Two of Swords as the cards to represent what is being repressed from your past. Nine of Cups was the overall main card for the first question and when it's in reversed I read it as dissatisfaction despite all the opportunities that have been given to us. Perhaps, we overestimated what should be given or granted to us and are disappointed that we don't feel satisfied even if our needs have generally been met. In other words, even though you didn't have the worst hand in life, you're not content. It's possible, you have taken your status, or a piece of your own identity for granted. Given the length of time we have used certain facets of our identity for so long, or maybe even briefly; our perspective of our identity can very much be impacted with that facet we once were attached to and what we used to represent. And it also plays a significant role in preserving our happiness and contentment. Now, this "opportunity" or fragment of identify has gotten away as time gives space for it to vanish off. Life is all about change, it's difficult to accept yet we can't and shouldn't allow it to dictate our personal fulfillment. Change is devasting but so is self-pity, a little self-pity is healthy for you, too much is detrimental for us to expand ourselves onto newer and better things. This could mean anything, such as growing up thin and gorgeous. Years go by and now you've gained more weight than you like, eyes have become dull and wrinkly skin has formed in the corners of your eyes, forehead, arms and almost your entire body. Maybe you're blaming yourself for not earning as much money or for not being able to get the same level of love, appreciation or attention from other people. It could be anything—even a passion that ignited a fire in your life that has gradually faded over time. (Mind you, I am not saying that if you picked pile three you have to be old enough to be worrying about wrinkles or having to make more money from the previous year, any age group could pick this. School, family and mental/physical illnesses can be factors as well not just time itself.) Two of Swords also brings up a different point, that highlights being at a standoff with decision-making. Pile three, did you make a lot of decisions based off of what someone else told you was better or what would best suit someone else? Two of swords displays a lot of lack of self-assurance and I think that part of your fulfillment that's displayed from Downcast Pride roots from not being more assertive in your own personal decisions. The High Priestess is a very spiritual card, and as it is included in the spread's earlier sections, I interpret this to mean that either an inner wisdom has been present but has been clouded by the lack of purpose and achievement. You have potential, but with all this chaotic energy, you have suppressed a lot of this fulfillment. Even after all this time has passed and you still feel as though you are in the same place in life. How come you never knew or tried to figure out what you wanted to do? You're not content and have felt like happiness and fulfillment hasn't been present in life. Pile three, it has to feel devastating for you.

Another way that I’m reading the high priestess is that the high priestess is all about our inner calling and inner wisdom. Based on the other two cards, I would say that this is what is blocking off all this magical, inner wisdom being brought up. Meaning, we must solve our own issues to let our inner voice be shined. Seek assistance from anyone or any place that might help you becoming more aware of your inner reality.

You also got the Son of Cups and Judgement reversed. Which just reinforces what I said the previous paragraph. Son of Cups represents a charming and idealistic person that everyone loves and desires. Whilst Judgement reversed is highlighting missed opportunities and failure. Failure to be the Sun of Cups. Failure to grow past who you used to be.

Mourn your past. Accept it’s not with you anymore. Move on so you can grow. I am aware it’s easier said than done, but it still needs to be addressed.

Lamenting over who you wish you still were, or where you want to be is rather pointless. Stop wishing for something thats now unattainable for you. Look for the new you, answers and solutions for yourself. Morph into something better so that the old you would’ve been jealous of new present you. When you think about it, it’s actually good that some things cannot be changed because then there’s a plethora of options for growth and numerous outcomes for who we can be.

Now, I pulled Father of Swords, for advice for you to help you work through accepting your shadow self. This card is pretty straightforward, Father of Swords is a very authoritative and is someone who strives onward. He’s also someone who’s very logical and knows that in order for blessings we have to work and set ourselves up for blessings. He does what he has to do to get to where he wants to be. He dosn’t live in the past, he lives in the present while working for the future. Spirt wants me to tell you to do the same so you can work through your repression of your shadow.

[reallyromealone]

i want to request a part 2 to the bonten cheating on reader for a 2nd time where the reader leaves them. it can either be angst or not. whatever you choose i just want to see any ending because it was really good 😭. just to refresh your memory of which one i’m talking about the ending says “if you actually mean it were al going to therapy” or something along those lines. Thank you

Fun fact, I couldn't find this fic for like five minutes till I went to my notes where I write and realized it was an event lmao

(name) sat on a chair as his alphas sat on the couches away from him, the therapist calm and collected as they stared at the large pack "we can start whenever you're ready"

"They lied and cheated and betrayed my trust" (name) said bluntly, arms crossed and not even looking at his mates "they broke the basic rule of our relationship not once but twice"

"I gave them an ultimatum, come here to therapy so we can figure out why they can't keep their dicks where they belong or I leave" (name) said seething, his ring finger bare and scent patches on his neck.

"I see, well thank you for sharing (name), I understand how this can be difficult for you" the therapist said calmly and turned to the alphas "and how are you all feeling about the situation" they asked calmly and Bonten was silent, not wanting to talk to the therapist but when (name) gave them a look to say 'fucking try me' Kakucho was the first to open up "It feels like shit"

"Could you elaborate?"

"We know we did something fucking awful, not once but twice" he said softly "we didn't deserve the first forgiveness and we definitely don't deserve this, I am honestly surprised (name) didn't go full no contact with us...he's not even staying with us anymore"

"I see, do any of you wish to share anything you feel? Remember this is a judgment free space and confidential"

Besides Kakucho, the rest of Bonten were pretty tight lipped about their feelings and after five minutes of silence (name) sighed annoyed "well this was fun, maybe next session you guys can learn the gravity of this"

Last night (name) learned something... Terrifying.

He was pregnant.

Somewhere between the first apology and the second affair (name) got pregnant and he desperately wanted his kid to know their dads but he didn't want them to betray the pup like they did (name).

He wouldn't allow it.

Bonten felt like shit but it wasn't easy for them to open up in any capacity, their entire jobs revolved around secrets!

But (name) wasn't a job.

He was their mate.

And he deserved better.

Chifuyu was gentle with his brother, the beta wanted nothing more than to beat their asses for what they did.

But sadly this was his brother's battle.

He was on (name)s side of just leaving them but they both knew it wouldn't be that easy, they were territorial and possessive alphas after all.

But that didn't stop him, kazutora and Baji from putting together a crib and such, the three having two spare rooms as they shared one.

The two were surprisingly excited at the concept of (name) staying with them even if for sad circumstances.

"I feel like I don't deserve him" Koko said simply, hands in his lap as he continued "seriously, were awful people and he puts up with our bullshit and does shit we don't deserve without any complaints! I don't know what god we sucked off in a past life to get this lucky"

The other men made sounds of agreement as (name) sat in silence, letting them continue "he's dealt with us at our ugliest and still gave us a chance, hell he sacrificed everything for us"

"And we took it for granted" Mikey spoke up, having been silent the entire session.

"My family would be ashamed of me" the tired blond said simply.

(Name) was pleased they were talking about this, actually making an effort.

The next few sessions were separate, each person getting to talk about stuff one on one to the therapist and actually learning to work through things.

"I have something to tell you guys" (name) said softly, sitting the men down after a therapy session and they could see the nervousness on (name) "i-im pregnant" (name) said practically shaking as the men sat in silence.

"When did you find out?"

"A week after you guys cheated the second time" (name) said staring at his hands and Bonten felt their heart break, they really didn't fucking deserve him and they knew he was probably debating on even telling them.

They should have been angry but the therapy made them understand that (name) didn't trust them at all anymore.

It also helped them understand their feelings and that there's serious shit they need to work on.

"If... If you guys improve by the ninth month... I will consider moving back here"

(Name) would be a dirty liar if he said he didn't miss the touch of his mates, cuddles and sleepy hugs.

But he wasn't a fool and he wasn't going to forgive them like that.

But he wanted what's best for his pup.

"We promise--we will do our best to be good enough for you"

[lainiespicewrites]

Hi friends!

So I’m tagging everyone that’s on the tag list for Coach Sy in this! Just because I’m not sure who all my mutuals are yet. Or how else to get this out there to the people I think are actually wanting to read my Walter story 😂🥲 Anyway! I just wanted to get some feedback! You totally don’t have to answer or say anything or interact at all obviously. Because you’re human and you all have free will! But …I’m rambling because I’m nervous …wow I really am turning into my self insert characters …or I write myself well…and I’m deflecting

Okay getting to my point! I’ve started my Walter story (literally have not even introduced him yet and I’m already panicking and doubting myself) but what I’ve realized is that because Walter is a comfort character to me. Because he is a police officer. And how his whole job is safety, I’ve been using this story as like a form of therapy? And started to recount my own Sexual assault and have been sort of trauma dumping into this story. Which has been a great release.

Night hunter the movie is super heavy. We all made a conscious choice to watch it. Some of us just because Henry is in it though. And might not like heavy triggering content like that. Others like myself. Might oddly find comfort in intense films like that. What I’m trying to say or ask is. Is this a theme you guys are okay with reading? It’s a lot different from coach Sy obviously which is healing in a different way because it’s so soft and sweet and comforting. And Walt will be too but. I just have to get the trauma out. Either way I think I’m gonna finish the story. But what I’m asking is do you guys want me to post it …or rework something else for Walter?

I’m not gonna be offended! I understand it! I’m totally okay with putting that out there because it helps me. And I know that if it helps me it’s very likely someone could connect with it and help others. I just didn’t realize that I was ready to pretty much tell the exact situation in a story. Sorry this is such a heavy subject guys. I love writing and I love that it brings us together and that we all can connect over someone that we love and brings us joy and comfort!

That’s kinda how I stumbled so hard into Henry! I knew of him but I hadn’t seen much of his stuff. But I saw him in Enola Holmes and (well first of all he looked damn good) but he was so big and something about him felt safe and protective. I’ve kind of hidden in that for a while.

Wow didn’t mean to get all emotional! But that’s tumblr! Thank you guys for all the love! Again you don’t have to say anything! If I don’t get too many responses I’ll probably just post it and see what the response is! I honestly love the little fan club i feel like I’ve gained here! You guys are awesome!!! ❤️🥰

Leave a comment, or reblog that’s totally fine, or if you’re more comfortable messaging me my dms always open! I just wanna make sure we’re all comfortable and safe here obviously I’d use tigger warnings and stuff but I also don’t want to post it if the majority of people won’t be comfortable. 💕

Tumblr tag list

@summersong69 @carrie80reads @identity2212 @caramariehurst @redheadrouge @warriormirkwood @gummydummy19 @deandoesthingstome @shellyshellshell @mary-ann84 @starfirewildheart @foxyjwls007

[allsadnshit]

Yesterday right on the new moon my job had a staff meeting and afterwards my bosses held me back to have a discussion and sprung a demotion on me and it's really blown up my entire peace for this chapter. They were vague about what I wasn't doing as a bar lead (I train new hires, make drink specials that sell super well, etc) and it was such a smack in the face to be told I wasn't meeting the expectations when they also acknowledged they didn't make the expectations and job responsibilities clear when I asked them to write a job description for me so this sort of thing wouldn't happen + they could have told me it wasn't working and tried to fix it with me rather than just deciding to demote me and drop my pay after I JUST introduced the drink special ideas I had for the next season at the whole staff meeting prior

Immediately after being demoted they gave me a bag of gluten free baked goods they got for me as the "good news" and it was so jarring and threw me off even further since I was already totally unprepared to process what has JUST happened and it just sort of turned into me thanking them and saying I understood or whatever and wanted things to work somehow and then walked home feeling like someone hit me with a fucking bus

Like so much weird shit was said and it was sprung on me without any warning like they didn't even tell me I'd be asked to stay after the all staff meeting for a discussion so I didn't have time to prepare any of my own things I needed from them or like wasn't given the chance to think about how I felt at all I just had to scramble and try and respond in the moment

It's been such a huge blow and I've just been rotting in bed all day waiting for therapy this afternoon and feeling totally defeated even though I also think being pushed to the edge is sometimes necessary to make big leaps. I haven't taken a bar lead position in YEARS after the trauma of my last time doing one when I was 21 and that was such a horrible ego death so for this to be the first time in so many years to have trusted enough again to try and know even if things don't work out I could expect to be treated respectfully is so disappointing. I'll never forget that months after I was demoted at my old job and they had to have 2 different upper management people try to fill my position and get totally overwhelmed, fail then quit....I got these apologies and offers to take my old job back and I didn't but it was so validating after being told I wasn't doing it well enough when turns out the position just wasn't fair in general and I still rocked at it.

I'm not sure if I want to just quit and be jobless and float for a while working more on my art stuff and just take the financial hit or WHAT but honestly this is just gonna be so hard no matter what I end up choosing

[noturvlentine]

the same damn thing

matty healy x reader based on this request🖤

requests are open still!!! this is my first matty request so to anon i hope it somewhat resembles what you had in mind :)

do not copy my stuff elsewhere but reblogs are appreciated 🖤

Summary- when you decided to take a break from your own music, you focused on helping matty and the boys on their new record and tour, offering your vocals for about you during a few live sets- though tonight, Matty’s lyrics hit differently. You realised that theyre about you-

lots of random doubting and fluff?

Word count 1.3k

༺ ♰ ༻

You were set for the stage any minute now, though it was a matter of how dramatic Matty was setting himself up to be that night. Tonight was your last time lending a hand to The 1975 before you set back on your own tour, for the past two shows, Matty had asked for you perform About You with the band on stage- an offer you couldn’t decline.

You remember London, 02, night two. You were an unannounced guest but honestly didn’t expect as huge of a welcome as you got that night, probably because you were no where near as interesting as Taylor swift from the previous show. You and Matty had always been a thing, platonically and sentimentally since Jack Antonoff introduced you two back ages ago. However, Matty would cowardly disagree.

First, he asked you if you’d like to be on a track for their latest album. He’d asked if you were willing to record your vocals for About You, and he’d ask when you were free.

And secondly, he was still in love with you. Whatever had been brewing inside him for the past- god knows how long had finally eaten him up from the inside and he was done being subtle. He was petrified that this tender desire to be with you would eventually suffocate him- he was done avoiding writing about you. The moment he swore to George about being earnest, he knew it was completely over for him. He’d tried to love you once. Though that was interrupted by a round of horse therapy and two rounds of tours from both parties- he didn’t know if it’ll end the way it always did. And something in side you was clawing at your rib cage too, curling around you heart and spreading infectiously under the radar.

On your second night, in Birmingham you felt the warmth of his stare prying its way into your mind, and down to your heart. You’d spent the entire night and the rest of the next day, until now- trying to tend to the animal of feelings that had scratched its way out from your chest. How long has it been like this? How long had you tamed your love for him and why now?

It all made sense now. The way he’d make up for your lost time together right after coming home from tour, in between shows and whatever he was up to. The desperation in his eyes when he’d ask if you’d come perform for them and this new doomed earnestness he’d adopted for the album. You stared blankly at the lights illuminating the stairs from the hallway to the wings, your earpiece rested around your neck, fidgeting with your hands and picking on the bottom of your top. Why now?

Were all your anonymous love songs secretly for written for Matty? Did your subconsciousness realise what you had going before you ever saw clear enough? Did you mean everything you’d supposedly said about him in your music?-

“Hey! You’re up!”

One of the stage hands had motioned for you towards the wings, that frail white door waiting for you to open it. You couldn’t drop your thoughts about Matty- you were fucked.

Pressured by the song, already crescendoing through the speakers, you made your way through the dark towards the door, opening it quietly as you walked onto the dimly lit stage. You made your way past Jamie and George, picking up a microphone set on a stool next to a pillar- exactly like you did the previous night.

You and I,

Don’t let go-

Were alive,

Don’t let go-

With nothing to do, I could lay and just look in your eyes

Your voice was slightly lower than Polly’s but it made for a good harmony. The Birmingham crowd had lost the moment you’d began those words.

Wait,

Don’t let go-

And pretend,

Don’t let go-

Hold on and hope that we’ll find our way back in the end

You started to think that the song was too optimistic for a man who couldn’t make up his mind sometimes. And indeed Matty had never given up on you since he first realised that he was in love with you- only now were your paths beginning to cross. Making your way down to Matty, sitting on the edge of the top half of the stage looking down at him, you saw that same flare in his eyes that had landed you in an entanglement of intoxicating emotions.

Do you think I have forgotten?

About you?

His eyes were fixated on you, and maybe you liked the way he looked from this angle but whatever it was- it made your heart race exhaustingly, more than any rush of performance adrenaline could ever accomplish.

There was something bout you that now, I cant remember

Its the same damn thing that made my heart surrender

And I miss you on the train, I miss you in the morning

I never know what to think about

I think about you-

And in the moment of that exact brief surrender of a heart- it finally hit you. Matty had written this song for you- unable to decide whether it would be the end of him if you ever picked up on it. He didn’t know how you’d screwed him over with your smile and gentle eyes that rained and flooded his mind all too often. He simply couldn’t deal with it much longer as the house he’d built around his love for you would eventually collapse under his swelling heart. You kept singing on autopilot, your legs now crossed as you sat on the floor still looking at him.

Do you think I have forgotten?

About you?

Dont let go-

About you-

Do you think I have forgotten?

About you?

Dont let go-

Matty could see the shock in your eyes as his inevitable exposure had crossed you. He saw the way you were looking at him even through the strobing lights on stage and the unforgiving roar of crowd. You microphone had now been turned off and switched to earpiece transmission only. It was then out of carnival instinct you picked it up and held it right against your chest-

‘I love you’

You blurted out like a bittersweet whisper which passed straight into Matty’s earpiece. He looked at you equally stunned as if his collection of ‘almost confessions’ were laid out right on your body.

Without even asking he walked the distance towards you, closing the gap between you as he stood before you. His eyes never left yours and during a fleeting moment of confessions, he snaked his hand up around you neck, bringing you down into a kiss. You were now leaning over the side of the stage, and Matty was on the tips of his toes- the rest of the band were still going to your surprise but the rest of the arena had just lost their collective minds. He kissed you. Tender and sweet. It was rotten work to love you but he did it anyway as he stained your heart in return.

Matty pulled away from the kiss, taking both your hands and pulling you down to his level of the stage. His hands were now cupping you face as you stood in front of him, his back still to the audience as John’s sax solo faded into the background.

‘Will you be mine?’ He said, a whisper with the volume of a thousand speakers despite the fact you could barely hear him over the crowd. One nod of the head became two- and soon a million times more as he brought you into a kiss once again.

AN: hope that wasnt a confusing read!! I kinda lost track of where i was going with this one but it made some sort of sense in the end :)

[ketsueki-writes]

Okay first off, love your stuff. It's so well written I especially love the aftercare therapy

Second! Imagine you were stuck with like yandere izuku or something and after months you finally FINALLY get saved by a bunch of pros and you get the joy of watching him be apprehend :) maybe finally being able to see the actual love of your life (cough cough Shoji) ik he isn't a very popular character but I would rip out my heart for that man or if you really aren't comfortable writing for him, Amajiki ? Feel free to ignore this btw! Have a good day/night!

no because wait you have something going here with shoji <333

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ᴇꜱᴄᴀᴘɪɴɢ ᴀ ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ, ᴠᴇɴɢᴇꜰᴜʟ ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ, ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ꜱɪᴛᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴋɪᴅɴᴀᴘᴘɪɴɢ, ʙᴇɪɴɢ ʜᴇʟᴅ ʜᴏꜱᴛᴀɢᴇ, ɴʙ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ, ʀᴇꜱᴛʀᴀɪɴᴛꜱ, ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ

ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ɪᴢᴜᴋᴜ, ʜᴇʀᴏ ꜱʜᴏᴊɪ

honestly, how could one even believe what was going on here? you could hear the sounds of shouting and people moving quickly through the home. you could hear from outside the padlocked door the sounds of screaming and threats.

you could hear izuku saying the worst things you could ever imagine him saying. it was clear he was being overpowered, probably from sheer manpower- maybe there were too many people inside. you felt waves of confused but some kind of new excitement flutter through you when a familiar voice sank into your ears from just outside the door.

"i want you to search every nook and cranny, don't leave a single corner unturned until we ind her!"

it was an order, and a seal of your safety.

you tried to stand from your spot, trying to scream but your vocal cords were weak. he was just outside- right there. he was so close. you felt your weak body yearn for him as your vocal cords failed you, your voice coming out in splotchy pieces of dialogue, your body tired and sore from izuku's previous havings with you.

you began to panic, feeling helpless you could've sworn the noise died down. were they leaving, were they giving up? you began to become frantic, struggling against the chains as tears formed on the rims of your eyes, slipping down your cheeks and dotting the floor beneath you.

"please" rang through your mind- he was so close

everything soon went silent. you felt alone again. your body slumped against the flooring of the room as you softly shook, silent sobs leaving you before a loud sound went off directly in front of you.

it prompted you to sit up, raising your head before you could see a figure in the smoky mess in front of you.

the door had been blown open and in its wake there he stood.

shoji hurried over to you, wasting no time as he smashed the chains under his heavy boot, pulling you close to him as he cradled you in his arms. you looked up at him, watching his eyes water slightly over his mask. "I finally found you," he said softly, pressing his forehead to yours as you did the same. your body felt warm for the first time in a long time, a serene peace filling you as he held you close.

and he'd never let you go again.

[hotxcheeto]

HI NEVY! can i request an enemies with benefits relationship with Vi from Arcane if you can? your writing is honestly incredible, thank you :))

━ 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐖/ 𝐕𝐈

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Vi  x G/N!Reader

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, descriptions of smut, mentions of insults, angsty undertones if you read between the lines, not much fluff but it's there if you squint

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! Ik we talked behind the scenes but honestly I haven't felt the best that's why it took me so long but here it finally is!! ily!! thank you sm!!

REBLOGS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED

hehe

She's a dick let's be real here

love her but my god she's one cocky bastard that will stand on your last nerve and play jump rope with it

Walking across it like a performer at a carnival

it started with a job that had gone sideways, upways, downways and around the corner

You were both frustrated and pissed off

You guys didn't like each other, not one bit

Like two adults feuding on the playground

It was childish

Ripping each others heads off while you walked back to the room you had to share

Then you were ripping each others clothes off

It was hot, very hot and probably the best sex you'd ever had

But you didn't tell her that

And Vi sure as hell didn't tell you that because yes, it was the same for her

You promised yourself it was a one time thing

One time

Two times –

three?

Alright maybe four

Then it became a every few days thing, when one or both of you were just so worked up you needed an outlet

But you didn't like each other, throwing insult after insult at each other mixed with some teasing while out on jobs

It was hell

Winding each other up to have fun with it later

Everyone could feel the tension between you both

Even if they didn't know what was happening between you and Vi

The tension was bad

I mean you could slash it with a knife and chop it into pieces and feed it to your kids for dinner

It's hard for anyone to work around you both

That's why you only work together

How romantic that you hate each other

But as time progresses so do your insults and maybe you don't hate her as much

The benefits mean a lot, and it also means that sometimes you yell your problems at each other like it's free therapy hour

It helps, but neither of you will admit it nor think about how you're spilling your guts to each other

Vi doesn't like you and you don't like her, it's easier talking to someone you hate than someone you love

At least you're expecting the judgement and it doesn't hurt

Or... that's what you keep telling yourselves

It's steamy, you won't say it's not

You kiss hard, you leave marks to remind each other of the nights activities, you make sure its drawn out and it's rough

But it's not passionate – you're crazy

With her you don't really hook up with anyone else, don't need to because you have that woman wrapped around your finger

Even if she hates you

Say one word, and she's in your bed because you both are worked up a little too much

But it's not anything deep, just a few one and dones, until you're both looking for a stress reliever, then your each others first thought

Huh

how strange is that

A/n: hey what's everybody it's Cr1TiKaL

if you get that ily forever lmaoooo

aLSO that has no pertaining to this at all or the sender I'm just tired because it's 3am

[dissociativemagicalgirl]

well it's almost a whole new year .... i started parts work this year (finally) (i think) which was exciting. now, i will write reviews of the texts on structural dissociation/trauma/DID i read this year. almost all available on archive.org for free if you would like to join me in reading. okay byebye.

any book titles listed with a ‼️ contain graphic, heavily triggering depictions of trauma. there is a heavy focus on these descriptions in each book. i'll try to write out specific tws in my review for each one, but i would only recommend reading these if it's safe for you to do so. make sure you listen to parts that get activated, have plans to de-escalate and take care of yourself, and avoid entirely if discussion of trauma is particularly raw for you or you're physically unsafe.

keep in mind: every book here will discuss various traumas. if you're not at a place where you can handle these discussions, it would be best to avoid these readings entirely.

amongst ourselves: a self-help guide for living with dissociative identity disorder - tracy alderman & karen marshall

5 out of 5. overall, this is a really insightful text. written by two people, one who is a licensed clinical social worker and one who is a person with DID. the way it's written was surprisingly warm. something about the way it's written feels so non-judgemental and non-clinical. i particularly liked this book's insights on things like how to come out as someone with a dissociative disorder, whether to confront your abusers, etc.

attachment trauma and multiplicity: working with dissociative identity disorder

2 out of 5. honestly im sure this isn't a bad book. unfortunately, it was too dry for me without providing much insight that's not easily accessible from other texts. i ended up not finishing it - maybe there's more to it that i didn't read? regardless, it reads as an introductory text for clinicians.

‼️ don't: a woman's word - elly danica

4 out of 5. content warning for csa, trafficking, and incest. this is a memoir. i really appreciate that it's written in a less narrative structure - events seem to take place separate from anything else, with little coherent narrative or reference to time to tie them together. i really hope that doesn't come off as a negative, because it excellently captured how childhood histories of trauma often become fractured. really powerful book with little catharsis at the end.

‼️ if you tell - it'll kill your mother - ardith trudzik

2 out of 5. content warning for csa, suicide, self harm, incest, animal abuse, and animal death. this book follows ardith's journey through therapy. it eventually falls into a pretty straightforward pattern: ardith recalls a memory, she tells her therapist, and her therapist affirms her experiences. unfortunately, i'm giving it a low rating because i personally felt like i didn't get much of it. ardith writing this book becomes part of her therapeutic process, and i'm very glad she was able to write this and share her story; however, beyond that, there's little analysis of the therapeutic process or the dynamics of abuse.

multiple personality disorder from the inside out - multiple authors

4 out of 5. a collection of submissions from dozens of systems. a lot of poems, memoirs, etc. this reminds me more of a zine than a book. really cool collaborative work from the 90s.

‼️ my father's house - sylvia fraser

5 out of 5. content warning for incest and csa. really powerful memoir on repressed incestuous abuse and its effects on her adult life. sylvia's writing style really tickles my brain in a good way. as far as i'm aware, she has never been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder, but her descriptions of having "alternate selves" who live in trauma time will likely be painfully familiar to any systems reading.

‼️ prism: andrea's world - jonathan bliss

whoever allowed this book to be published should be like... put in a saw trap. jonathan bliss' novel is a self-aggrandizing, exploitative hunk of shit from a freudian psychoanalysist with no history or training in working with DID. the novel alternates between jonathan bliss writing masturbatory exposition on how accomplished he is, taking random potshots at andrea (his patient) for being fat and mentally ill, and long recollections of andrea's trauma that seem to serve only as exposition on how crazy she is without any empathy - the equivalent of saying "isn't that fucked up?" and moving on. with the things jonathan bliss admits to in his own writing, he should have had his license taken away. the only feeling of catharsis or relief you will get from this book is when you learn that jonathan bliss has since died. content warnings for incest, csa, animal death, animal abuse, suicide.

the haunted self - multiple authors

5 out of 5. this one is kind of cheating because i haven't finished it yet - i'm about halfway through. regardless, it's radically shifted how i understand structural dissociation and its relations to traumagenic disorders - not just DID! the only negative i can list is that it's a little dry - if you're not used to reading academic texts, you might find it hard to parse. however i think the text itself more than makes up for it.

‼️ the incest diary - author unattributed

4 out of 5. i really, really, really struggle with writing about this one because it's a difficult read. part of what makes it triggering is that it describes aspects of csa that nobody really talks about, i think out of revulsion. my experience reading it could best be summarized as: yeah, that's what it was like, but i don't want to think about it. regardless of how much it repulsed my "main" self, i can acknowledge that some parts of my system felt understood in ways that other readings haven't given them. regardless, it's a really difficult read, and it's equally difficult to talk about. content warnings for... well, it's in the title.

the magic daughter - jane phillips

5 out of 5. the reasons why i loved this one so much are more personal than objective, but i still loved it nonetheless. jane's life has lined up in ways that are uncanny compared to my own. particularly, i thought it was refreshing to see a system that operates more similarly to my own: no defined identities or internal world, but there nonetheless. content warning for csa and incest, though the depictions are fairly brief. the bulk of the book focuses on jane's adult life, how she manages her DID, and the therapeutic process.

[otakusheep15]

Obey Me Flufftober Day 27

Prompt: Fireworks

Pairing: Solomon x reader (gender neutral)

Word count: 675

A/n: Only five days left until the end of the month! I honestly don't know how I've managed to do this three years in a row, but it's still a lot of fun. Since October is almost done, feel free to send me some fic suggestions! The list of fandoms I can write for is on my pinned post, so go check it out! And now, time for old man Solomon.

You were not the best at handling overstimulating situations. It's been something you'd dealt with since childhood, and no amount of exposure therapy had helped you.

Fireworks were the worst for you.

They were bright, loud, and usually involved large crowds. Fireworks were a total nightmare for you. This did upset you a bit, as you always felt like you were missing out whenever you ran and hid from them. You'd also experienced a good amount of bullying over your fears, but you learned to drown them out after a while.

Tonight, there was a party. You were told in advance that there would be fireworks, and you thought this could finally be your chance to face your fear. You'd have all of your friends there with you for support, not to mention your partner Solomon. That gave you some confidence, so you were sure you could make it through the event.

You did not make it very far through the event. Well, you were doing fine for a while, but then the fireworks started. You were so sure that this would be the night you would face your fear, but you just couldn't do it. They were too much for you to handle, and you needed to get away. Solomon, your wonderful partner, noticed how poorly you were faring and helps you to a private room free of any windows so you can't see or hear any of the fireworks.

He was always so patient with you. You were sure that Solomon wanted to be out there enjoying the festivities, but instead he chose to stay by you. He never once made fun of you or tried to force you back outside. He simply sat with you and helped you calm down.

When you'd finally calmed down a bit, he asks if there's anything you can do to help. All you want is to get over this irrational fear of yours and you doubt he can help you with something like that. However, Solomon always seems to have the solution to every problem, and he tells you that he does have a way he can help, but only if you want him to. You tell him that you'd welcome any ideas he may have, and that's all he needs.

Solomon lifts his hand, and gives you one last chance to change your mind. When you hold firm, he continues on, and a small firework appears from his hand. It's nothing like normal fireworks, and there isn't any noise to go with it, but it's beautiful nonetheless. You stare in awe at the firework, and Solomon slimes and your wonder. He sets off a couple more, careful to keep them small.

It's a sweet gesture, even if you know something like this takes barely any effort on his part. Once you've gotten used to the visual of the fireworks, he adds in a little sound effect as well. It's quiet, but you still hear it. The first one makes you jump a bit, but you assure Solomon that it's okay, and he continues on.

Eventually, you tell Solomon that you'd like to try and go out again. He questions you, making sure it's absolutely what you want, and you reassure him that it is. He leads you back to the main room, and the fireworks are still in full swing. Going from dark and quiet to bright and loud is overwhelming at first, but with Solomon next to you, you were able to calm yourself. Once you were calm, you find a bit of courage and look up at the fireworks.

They are absolutely stunning. You can't help but be entranced by the beauty of the fireworks, and not even the noise can distract you from the visual. While you're looking at the fireworks, Solomon is looking at you. He's so proud of you. It's a small step for some, but a big one for you. Solomon would do absolutely anything to help you, even if it's something as simple as creating a few fireworks.

[deathofpeaceofmiiind]

high infidelity | twenty five

You’re the king baby, I’m your queen. *Noah’s POV* “So where are you taking me?” I looked over at Ellie and just smirked, not daring to tell her where we were going. I kept my eyes on her for a little longer than I expected, I couldn’t help myself. She had her hair in a sleeked back ponytail, black ripped skinny jeans, white tank top and her signature checkered vans. The past 24 hours with her have been absolute heaven. My home has been such a safe space for me and having her in it made it feel complete finally. She was so patient and understanding with me last night and I felt like a huge weight had been lifted. Sex with her felt like a drug I wanted to use for the rest of my life. Between last night, this morning and fucking her quickly in the shower before we left the house, I still couldn’t get enough of her right now.

“I’m not telling you.” I replied as I backed out of my driveway and headed down the street. She crossed her arms and I could feel her eyes on me. “Great, I’m gonna end up on the news. Newsflash, Canadian women missing in the Hollywood Hills.” I was having a hard time holding my laughter back at how dramatic she was being, “do you really think I’m taking you somewhere to murder you?” “I don’t know, Noah Sebastian…are you?” She sarcastically replied. “Ok fine, I’ll ruin the surprise. I wanted to order from my favourite sushi place, and take you to my favourite spot in the city to have a little picnic. I figured since most of our time has been taken up with my shows, we deserved another quiet night together before you leave.” 

She leaned over the console and kissed my cheek, almost making me run through a red light.“That sounds great. I’m sorry for accusing you of murder.” “I am capable of it but I’ll save it for another day.” I winked. She just rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand as she looked out the window. I felt my heart skip a beat over how happy I was feeling right now. The windows were down, music was playing, and the sun was shining, making Ellie’s dark hair shine. I don’t think it could get better than this.

We left the restaurant with enough sushi to feed an army and headed over to White Point beach. This place was so special to me for so many reasons. I got a lot of my writing for the death of peace of mind done here and it was just my escape from the pandemic. It was the one place I actually felt my nervous system calm down. I’ve tried chasing that feeling elsewhere and honestly, I never found it until I met Ellie. “Wow…Noah.” Ellie paused, putting her hand over her mouth as she admired the view in front of her. I wasn’t sure what her reaction would be since she was also surrounded by beaches and mountains at home but she still looked awestruck. The beach had a hill that towered over everything, giving you the perfect view of the ocean and an even better view of the sunset. “This is my hiding spot.” I replied turning off the car and locking my fingers with Ellie’s. “I’ve never shown anyone this spot. This place has given me more peace than therapy ever has. I just wanted to show you it cause … well because you give me the feeling this place does.” “Noah…” She whispered as tears filled her eyes. She took her seatbelt off and grabbed me by the back of my neck, guiding me to kiss her. I pressed my mouth to hers, wrapping my hand around her throat the longer we kissed. The kisses were so soft and gentle, giving me time to taste the strawberry flavour from Ellie’s lip gloss. We pulled away and she smiled so sweetly at me, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. I just sighed deeply, this girl was something else.

I came prepared and grabbed blankets, a cooler and hoodies out of the trunk before we headed over to the beach. Ellie raised her eyebrows at me as I walked past her and found my normal spot was free. I laid the blanket down, Ellie put our food down and sat beside me. I pulled out two white claws, giving one to her as we dove into our food. “Who knew you were such a romantic.” Ellie smiled before taking a bite of her sushi. “This is better than any expensive restaurant.” “Good, I’m glad.” I replied, not taking my eyes off her. “That’s one of the biggest reasons why I love you.” She face flushed a little as she met my gaze, “what do you mean?” “I guess what I’m trying to say is that, you’re probably the first woman I’ve ever won over by being myself. You don’t have unrealistic expectations because of who I am, so I never felt like I needed to hide behind a mask.” I stuttered a little near the end, I was trying to tread lightly and not offend her by any means. “Noah, I fell for you because of your heart, and who are you are as a person off stage. Your band, your success, any money you make from all this comes secondary. Sure I met you because of your band but in another life if I just met you on the street and didn’t know who you were, I’d still be here ridiculously in love with you.” “Ridiculously huh?” I joked, nudging her arm. She smiled at me as I got closer to her, caressing her cheek and kissing her again. I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to be all over her right now. Not even in a sexual way, just affectionally. My heart felt like it was going to burst because of her. “I love you Ellie.” “I love you more.” After we finished our food, we got cozy and watched the sunset together. The sky was so beautiful and reminded me of cotton candy with the shades of pink and blue. Ellie was nuzzled against my chest, listening to the sounds of seagulls in the distance along with the sound of each other’s heartbeats. I didn’t want this night to be over. The sun began to disappear and the sky glowed a dark blue, all I could see was Ellie’s bright eyes piercing through the darkness. As we got to the car, my phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out, it was Jolly. “Hey man, we’re thinking of hitting up the pier in 30. Last night for Matt, both Nicks and Bryan in town. You two want to come?” “Hey Ellie do you want to head to the pier?” She just nods, polishing off her white claw before getting into the car. I pouted a little bit hoping she’d just want to go home, but this could be fun as well. I should also be thankful my friends love her as much as I do and want to include her in things. Before I got in the car I went to text Jolly back but I opened my conversation to Nick, taking a deep breath before I started typing. “I wanna marry this girl.”

[bubblessunshinehoney]

day 31- Cockcage with Bucky Barnes

915 words

18+ only! NO MINOR INTERACTIONS

kinktober masterlist

A/N: it's the last day. I'm a bit emotional to be honest. i wrote 31 one fic this month. didn't miss a day even when i thought i would never be able to finish it in time. I explore new way of writing, get out of my comfort zone and i enjoyed writing this 31 fics.

My first account might have been suspended, but this one is going strong. im almost reaching 200 followers in less than 15 days, so thank you all to join me here and i can't wait for you to read more of my creations!

Enjoy this one for now,

Cloudy

Don't be shy to reblog, comment or like!

TW: fluffy smut, cockcage, oral (f receiving), handjob (m receiving).

not beta read, english is not my first language, all mistakes are my own.

It was him, who wanted to try it for an entire day. Him who suggested for you to act like normally…but now he regrets it. Well, yes and no. It hurts sometimes, but he can’t help but like the pain. He might be a bit of a masochist.

It’s not that he loves the pain, it’s more that he has control over it. And he likes to be able to control how much he endures. It’s a bit of a therapy for him, a way to deal with the trauma of being under control, electrify, of having his arm cuts off and for having this vibranium one.

“How do you feel, cowboy?”, you murmur in his ear. That makes him shudder, gosh, he loves your voice.

“I’m good, hurts a little but in a good way”. You kiss in sweet spot on his neck, and he moans faintly. “Doll, please…”

You giggle and hugs his waist, resting your face on his chest. “Please what, cowboy?”

It was your idea to dress up as cowboy and cowgirl for Tony’s Halloween party. Bucky was incredible in his costume, and you were…stunning. He couldn’t take his eyes off, well he never could do that, you were too gorgeous for him to look away.

“You know what… it’s always the same and you know it.” You smile softly, he was always shy to accept he was aroused. His mind was free and he felt like his younger self, having to catch up for lost times and you were always happy to help, happy to let him explore and try new things.

“Does my sweet boy need me to take care of him? “, he nods, blushing slightly. You kiss his chin and bites it just like he loves, and you can feel the rumble of his growls.

“Doll.”, he growls deeply, you laugh softly and takes his hand. You’ve stayed long enough, and it was time to relieve him. And honestly, you couldn’t wait to have him all for you.

Straight after the door of your shared appartement is closed, Bucky kisses you hard and pushes you to your bedroom. You wrap your arm around his neck, and you hum happily into the kiss.

Soon enough, he’s bare, cock red and precum leaking even with the cage on. “Look at you, you’re so pretty”, you purr face between his legs, your nose nudging the constrict member. Bucky blushes and giggles. Your man actually giggles, and you look at him. “Fuck, you’re so pretty when you do that” He giggles more and hides in the crook of his elbow, you bite his inner thigh.

“Oi, you are a cowgirl, not a vampire!”, he says with a big smile. “So, can we take off the cage or you want to see me in it more?”. You smile and strokes his legs, his constrict cock, jumping at the slightest touch, you feather touch his balls and he moans, arching his back and more precum leaks out, you lick it clean, and he looks down at you. “Fuck, doll…you’re the devil tonight”

“Happy Halloween, James.” He strokes your face and smiles softly.

“Happy Halloween, dolly.” You go up to kiss him, and he holds you close, slowly taking off your clothes too, needing to feel your skin against his. “You’re so soft and warm.” He kisses your neck and slides down while pulling you up, to be between your legs. “Be my cowgirl and ride my face?”.

You laugh and nod. “I can do that, you sure it’s going to be okay ? We both know you can cum just by eating me out.” He spanks you playfully and nods.

“I can do it, and if it gets too much, I’ll say orange or red or my safe word.” You give him a look. “Moon”. You smile and lower yourself, his tongue licks you straight away and you moan, loving the warmth of his mouth and the dexterity of his tongue, reaching every spot that pleasures you. You cum quickly, legs trembling, panting. He holds you and helps you lay down beside him.

“How do you feel, Jamie?”, he smiles and kisses you, you moan when you can taste you on his tongue.

“Like I’m going to explode.” You giggle against his lips and takes the key. “Yes, please, take it off”. You free him and his cock takes her original size and more, he gets fully hard, and you have the impression that he’s bigger than normal.

“What do you want?”

“Just your hand, I’m over sensitive just with the air on it.”, he giggles and hides in your neck. You take some lube to help sooth him and little and you stroke him gently, he moans like if you were stroking him hard and fast, so you can understand how sensitive he must be.

“Feels good, baby?”, he nods, already too gone to form sentence or even words. You continue and he cums hard, bending in half and biting the crook of your neck.

He pants, and he holds you close, purring when you stroke his hair. “I’m proud of you, bucky, you did so good tonight, today.” He kisses your neck, not fully recovered to be able to talk. “I think a day in the cage it’s too much. Don’t want my favourite cock to fall off”, he laughs and nods, relaxing under your touch and he’s soon asleep. You smile and kisses his hair, snuggling before falling asleep too.

taglist : @navybrat817 @christywantspizza @buckyalpine @iloveprettyboysblog @ethreal-love @nailedbymandy @captainsimagines @buckybarnesandmarvel @rogersandlightwood @sparkledfirecracker @barneswinterraven @hansensgirl @blades-and-heartbreak @runa-falls @chrisdrysdale

[skinnygirl-blogger]

about me!

name: angel

age: 26

sw: 180lbs

cw: 161.8lbs

ugw: 120lbs

i’ve struggled with 3d since college. i made this blog to hold myself accountable, to one day reach my ugw. i also tend to post my rants/thoughts on my page more than my main one. if you would like to follow my main blog, the username is in my bio. i love making new friends, so feel free to DM me anytime!!

here are some hobbies of mine (if you’re interested in knowing them):

- music. i love music! especially rock. anything from the seventies and eighties.

- guitarist. i’ve played guitar ever since i was 14. it calms me down when i’m anxious, so it’s great therapy for me. i enjoy playing it anytime i have some free time. going along with being a guitarist, i also write my own music. i don’t have music out on spotify or anything like that, but one day i would like to be able to produce an album. when the time is right..

- vinyl. i ABSOLUTELY LOVEEE vinyl collecting!! i love turntables and i take pride in taking care of my turntables/records. i play them literally all the time! if you need any advice on vinyl, let me know. i’ll be glad to help!

- concerts. i literally love going to concerts so so much!! i don’t care who it is. i just love live music.

that’s a few things about me! i hope you all enjoy my blog..thank you for making me feel seen..it’s been a long time since i’ve been in this community. i had gotten recovery the second semester of college but since then i’ve relapsed. i’ve honestly have never felt more, at peace though. i’m so happy to be home again..

xoxo

[letstalkwhump]

Let's Talk Whump

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community! I’m Malice and I’ll be your host today. 

Today’s I’m talking whump with the amazing @lonesome–hunter!

(this blog and the recommended pieces contain NSFW and are 18+)

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump! Would you mind sharing a little about yourself?

Howdy! My name is Sarah but everyone usually calls me Lonesome. I'm an elder here in the community lol. I love thrifting, smoking pot, birdwatching and Disney World (I live so close to it). My favorite colors alternate between black, various greens and burnt orange. I truly love all animals. There's no way I could pick just one. I am particularly fond of moths, owls, elephants and exotic birds. 

I'm a big stoner goth aunt and I love connecting with people. So feel free to come talk to me anytime!

What does whump mean to you? 

It's absolutely an outlet for me. When I was a kid I couldn't figure out why I liked seeing people tied up in people's basements in movies and on TV so much but it never left my mind. Those feelings are there, the excitement. When I started writing in fifth grade I realized I could produce those feelings by writing the stories myself.

And trauma dumping through fictional people is almost therapy lol.

And how did you find the whump community? What made you want to join? 

During the first season of Supernatural I got on live journal and found other SPN communities. Then I fell down a rabbit hole that led me to whump. I finally had a word and a whole bunch of people who felt the same way which felt validating after being told I'm weird from teachers and family members.

During the pandemic I reconnected with it when I was in a dark place and really got into what everyone was doing. I thought "maybe I can do this". The rest is history.

Do you think your view on whump changed since you joined in terms of trope enjoyment or consumption style?

My view on whump has always been the same really. No one is hurting anyone and with proper warnings we can write the darker stuff some of us really enjoy.

I can't really say there are any I changed my mind over. Any trope can be good if it sucks you in with the writing. 

And your favourite whump tropes because it’s guaranteed there’ll be more than one!

 Ooh wee here we goooo lol. I dig dehumanization, whipping, sadistic whumpers, noncon, water torture, stress positions, begging. So many.

Time to share your awesome writing. Do you have a favourite piece you've written? 

So my first main series “The Devil’s Highway” has been my baby for three plus years and I’m excited to rework it now that I have more tools at my disposal. That being said, I really am proud of what I did with “Bury Me Beneath The Weeping Willow Tree”. It features some heavy TWs so be mindful of that but that almost stopped me from wanting to do it. Would showing Big Boy and Darlin’s graphic murder be too far? Probably lol. But I really dug deep in and got emotional writing it honestly. And it shows Ezra that this weird love Josiah has for me won’t protect him like he thinks it will. It didn’t work for Big Boy. Those two guys are secretly my favorite and I’m most excited about reworking that particular story.

Your imagery is deliciously brutal and creepy. I’m obsessed with it, it’s that good! Do you have a writing routine or is it more when inspiration strikes?

Definitely a night owl. I can’t focus until it’s dark out. Gotta have water and a little sweet drink to keep me focused. I tend to write when something strikes, lately it’s been extremely dry for me creatively but I’m trying to stretch my legs again and get back into it.

And do you find that it’s easier to write some things over others?

I can write the hell out of dreams, surrealism and atmosphere. That’s always been my favorite thing to do writing wise. Also death fics are fun lol.

Dialogue is my least favorite and it probably shows but can’t get better without practice.

Is there anything you're working on at the moment?

Been working on the rework of The Devil’s Highway, started a fun little prompt series about a bunch of masked men and I have another forced to fight series with slow burn romance than I’ve ever done before.

Do you have a joke or pun you would like to share to spread some smiles today?

I wish I could remember the dad joke my customer told me last night that sent me into a coughing fit but I have another one for you.

"What do you call a factory that makes okay products?" "A satisfactory."

That got a laugh out of me! Is there any writing advice you’d like to share?

Just have fun. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself and just write for yourself.

And tag your stuff!

Shout out to your favourite writing/whump blogs, bffs or people who've inspired you. We're hyping everyone one up here!!!

Oh man there's so many I could be here all day but these folks have truly helped me so much over the years and I would die for them lol

@knivestothroats, @galaxywhump, @girlsjustwannadrawwhump, @evermetnotforgotten, @redstainedsocks, @coldresolve, @whumpshaped, @whumpfigure, @ephemeral-phosphorescence, @whump-me-all-night-long, 

Anything you'd like to add?

Save Florida from Facists!

So good to have you here today, @lonesome--hunter! 

And to all you folks at home, have a whump-derful day!