#but i am also so so so sleepy and theres always Steps to even setting up a thing

[dailypokemoncrochet]

I want to make a glitched poll that lasts a thousand years so that we can make bets on how long it'll take me to finish all the pokemon

[wonderland-in-bloom]

the battle for a princess pt.1

[dorm leaders x reader]

@selfinsertheaven asked: Yaaaaaaay I've been waiting for this!!!! If it's not too much to ask, could I get a oneshot of the House Leaders falling for female reader who's basically a Disney princess (kind, gentle, can sing really nice, the works) and them trying to make her fall for them/compete for her heart. Thank you so much I absolutely adore your writing!!

wooop i’m always up for a challenge [^v^] and also thank you!

♡

HEADMASTER crowley was baffled to feel the tension building up in the air. all seven dorm leaders were gathered in the mirror chamber for a usual dorm leader meeting, but something was just off about today. no one started talking, not even azul. crowley noticed that every either avoided eye contact with each other, or they would glare daggers at each other. “OKAY EVERYONE, WHAT’S GOING ON?!” all the seven dorm leaders flinched, but no one answered. 

“nothing. now then let’s get this meeting started.” azul just snapped. the meeting was awkward and unlike usual when they would get off topic and actually talk to each other, no one branched off. not so much as talk. crowley sighed and just facepalmed. teenagers. “that’s all.” azul mentioned. “WHAT?! IT’S ONLY BEEN FIVE MINUTES!” crowley almost fell back in his chair. “there’s nothing else to discuss. now may i please be excused from this room filled with...these people.” crowley sighed but nodded. all the dorm leaders left. that was awkward. he wondered what that was all about. all the dorm leaders branched off to go in different directions but they had one place to go to. and that was to you. yes. all seven of the dorm leaders were head over heels for you. is that a good thing? is that a bad thing? no one knows. the boys found you in the courtyard, sitting in a bench alone. a ray of sunshine shone perfectly on your face and illuminated all of your perfectly sculpted features. 

alright, this is the perfect chance for me to go her they all thought, but before even making a step forward out of their hiding places, a small petite figure stepped out. someone all too familiar for vil. “(y/n)-chan.” you turned your head around to see a smiling epel walking towards you, books in hand. “yes epel, what do you need help with?” you tucked a strand of hair behind your ears and all the seven dorm leaders died. how perfect were you? you were like a literal princess. epel took a seat next to you and you two started working. this fact didn’t sit well with vil. he was jealous of epel. how could he, a mere first year, spend time with you, and he, the dorm leader, didn’t? just like a telepathic signal, rook came out of nowhere and vil tugged on his collar. “rook, please be a dear and make sure epel comes back to the dorm. under. all. circumstances.” a bead of sweat trickled down rook’s forehead. “o-oui! you’re the boss! boss!” vil practically pushed rook out there to the ‘battle zone’ and he started walking towards you and epel. “bonjour mon amie! epel!” sparkles managed to surround rook as he said this. “urgh, what are you doing here?” epel shot at him. rook clutched his heart dramatically. “why it’s simple! i’m here because-”

“oooh (y/n) i love that nail polish shade on you. where did you get it?” and thus rook was distracted from his main task. vil groaned and decided to go over there himself and stop the both of them. “you two!” he shouted. rook and epel jumped to meet the horrifying figure of their dorm leader. rook’s sweat was now flowing like a waterfall. after all, he did forget to do the task given by his boss. “ehehe...” he chuckled. vil just stomped and flipped his silky blonde hair. “aren’t you two supposed to be in the pomefiore dorms right now?” epel raised an eyebrow. “eh but theres-” vil shushed him. “no excuses. pomefiore dorm. now.” epel rolled his eyes and quietly muttered a yes mom and rook just did as he was told. “vil, maybe you should be a bit nicer to those two you know.” you spoke in a gentle tone. “i’m sorry love.” he took this opportunity to sit down in the now empty spot of the bench beside you. “you look stunning today, as always.” he bent down and kissed you hand. the other six dorm leaders were noticing this and began to either clench their fists or started prepping their magic pens. “would you care to join me tonight in the pomefiore dorms? i would love you to try out a new shade of lip tint i formulated.” you chuckled. “really? i don’t think i’m that type of girl...besides i don’t look pretty enough for the part.” vil took both your hands in his. “what nonsense! you are one of the most beautiful people i’ve ever set my eyes on.” 

kalim didn’t like to hear this the most. he wanted to bring you on a magic carpet ride later tonight and show you some of his most favorite sights! his eyes sparkled when he saw jamil walking towards you and vil. obviously ruining your moment. “sorry for the intrusion, (y/n), prefect schoenheit. but have you seen kalim anywhere? he has an ‘important’ delivery for him.” kalim came out from behind a bush and started walking to the three of them. “ahaha! jamil perfect timing!” vil furrowed his eyebrows. ah, so this was kalim’s plan. “i must go take care of other matters. (y/n), do you accept my invitation?” you nodded. “of course vil! anything for you.” you smiled making his heart melt and it honestly brightened up his whole day. he cleared his throat and excused himself, but secretly cussed at kalim while walking away. “so listen (y/n), i ordered some brand new magic carpets and they just arrived! they’re all exclusive and limited edition!” jamil sighed and wanted to fall to the floor. that’s his delivery?! he already had more than 100 magic carpets. “so i was thinking...want to try them out with me tomorrow night?!” he cheered, anticipating for your answer. “it sounds fun! sure!” you giggled. “i’ll make sure you won’t fall.” he joked. jamil just sighed at his pathetic excuse of being a flirt. he dragged kalim by the collar and started dragging him away. “SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT (Y/N)!” kalim waved to you as he was practically being choked by his own collar while being dragged away by jamil. 

leona saw this as a perfect opportunity to capture his prey. he backed away from the wall and headed towards you. you were immersed in a book while sitting down on the bench and leona just slumped next to you. he slung his arm around you and rested his head on your shoulder. “hah~sleepy again hm?” you smiled at his figure and brushed your hand against his cheek. you were too kind for your own good. am i in heaven? leona thought to himself. you rested your head against his own against your shoulder as you continued reading. it was comfy indeed. “LEEEEEEOOOONAAAA-SAN!” leona woke up from his short slumber. no. NO. NO. ruggie used his unique magic on leona and made him stand up. “there you are!” he scolded. “senpai, there’s the annual savanaclaw training today.” jack added. “tsk. piss off you two.” he tried to turn away but forgot he was under control ruggie’s unique magic. “there’ll be none of that. come on already!” ruggie started walking away and leona followed. damn that sneaky bastard’s magic. leona groaned to himself. well a moment with you was better than nothing. you were baffled by the three dorm leaders coming to you in such a short time. you shrugged it off and continued reading before being interrupted by screams. “OH NO! THIS IS BAD THIS IS BAD!” 

ace and deuce came running to you. “(y/n)-chan! one of the hedgehogs are sick! they need tending to!” with your love for animals and knowledge on how to take care of them properly, you stood up hurriedly and your motherly instincts kicked it. “take me to them!” riddle chuckled to himself as this was the perfect opportunity for him to get closer to you in the heartslabyul dorm. he used his magic to transport himself to the heartslabyul gardens to where the hedgehogs are. riddle held the sick hedgehogs in his hands and waited for you to arrive. “riddle-kun!” you exclaimed and rushed by his side. “shh, shhh. it’s okay little one.” he cooed. “want to help me take care of him, (y/n)?” 

what you and riddle both failed to realize, was that the three remaining dorm leaders had a plan up their sleeves. 

♡

yeets part one done! okay so this fic basically just involves everyone lolol. 

love, a♕

[dedeuteros]

Ouuhh wait i forgot i wanted to blab last week. Last ever season of ballroom dancing or whatever we do </3 First dance was last week, had another one tonight. Its so weird bc its like lolzies i just do this sometimes for funzies . But this is my 7th year hot damn. I cant recognize more than maybe 4 dances by name, but i suppose im well aquatinted with the moves at this point. Liikkeee its truly wild watching 6th graders coming for their very first dance clueless beyond measure knowing nothing. Like whaaaatt you dont know how to stand in a circle????? (Actually, i dont blame them its a lot to take in, but theres a point where i cant tap a pair for the 10th time telling them to turn 45 degrees . Like babes ur doing great but why are u standing like . Its like this - - - / - -?? Bc if there were more space it might not be a problem but if the direction is a basic forward then eventually they start running into peoples sides while the group is stepping straight in and out of thebcircle.) anyways.

Like i know i didnt know which foot i was on was important until liiikee my 4th or 5th year. Hypocrite that i am lol. But also im not surprised bc trying to explain to kids which foot is never pleasant. If theyre confused theyre usually confused beyond saving and u just gotta shrug ur shoulders together and go. Yeah we’ll be fine go get em tiger. (Unrelated i wish line breaks werent so massive holy shit)

So super fun. Being afab in this location. I dont mind dresses et cetera, love them generally, but the lack of freedom in what i can wear is ehhhh. I usually just, dont think abt it bc i like dancing anyways and im too distracted by counting out the steps. BUT! usually the ratio of girls to boys in older groups is not so even, so instead of lettingvthe kids dance among themselves we (junior helpers) have to deploy the full set of ourselves to dance as gentlemen (much to the dismay of the guys in my age group who would rather not dance at all, despite .. where we are) so yours truly, liking to dance as often as i can, gets to be a funny little man in a dress for the night! Im always nervous for the parents who might be snooty abt their daughters dancing with “another girl” but the girls themselves seem fine. One real lovely lady was even so kind as to tell me my hands were far less sweaty than most guys <3 (not true but I appreciate it)

The age (7yr) old issue is that in these dances the “gentleman is the leader” so given they know the dance (often do not) and have the confidence (a handful do not hide how much theyd rather be somewhere else) they would lead and ladies should follow (“even if hes wrong” which i would call bullshit on if i wasnt messing up the same amount). SO since they lead, the steps are such called for them. To begin teaching most dances, the director also calls for the girls but after a while ur expected to either know or be able to follow. I’m pretty practiced in my left and right and their reversal. Tldr: ive learned absolutely everything completely backwards so even if the director calls basic left, I automatically move right.

Trans and masc girl wins in the house this year!!! Its been a mess to some degree, since both wear suits/ vests. Ive been called over a few times to fill in bc “two boys are dancing together” and just had to tuen my ass back around. Ladies wear gloves <3 at least at their lvl, im ant to start bopping my boys on the head if they keep doing that. BUT i havent talked to one of them. But. The smaller lady was having trouble so i was trying to help out and stay near (bc even tho i hate the dress code, i do understand that its easier to have less confusion in switch partner dances if theyre all dressed distinctly “girl” or “boy” . We had no small amount of confusion tonight) uhhhbb uhh. O yea i was just sticking with her and making sure the partner switching wasnt getting messed up and . Idk just generally making sure she was getting help when she seemed confused. Normally i feel awful being hovery when a pair keeps messing up and i correct them bc i know they dont understand my correction anyways and they feel bad for being singled out. But im fucking cryng. She said thank u for helping :^(( no one ever ever says that and ive been helping for like 3 years. Made me so so happy i hope shes well

OUUHHHG TONIGHT WE DID THE TANGO!!! not rlly The Tango. A terrible childrens edition cannibalized version of the tango </3 i dont think ive done it in YEARS???!$& but its one of my favorites!! Got to do it with two groups!! So not only twice, but also different guys . One of them was better, but one of them was also not an 8th grader . I think. We actually had an 8th grader filling in since my helper group has gotten smaller over the years. Anyways i LOVE when we do like. The waltz and the tango bc they have, for what i assume is every year since i started, played the same shitty ass busch gardens ass royalty free music. I CANNOT take it seriously . Ouhhh but also since one of the groups that tango ed was older, it was a few more steps. The variety that keeps me awake after nearly 6 hrs.

Anyways i could talk abt this a lot more but eye am SO sleepy so if i remember I’ll probably jus add onto this tomorrow <3 bc idk its kinda geeky and not impressive to most ppl so i dont get to talk abt the lil details but its been ALMOST 7 YEARS!!! I have a lot to say!!!

[kakuriyo-translations]

Chapter 4: The Old Tengu

Chapter 4: The Old Tengu

113.“Atatata. This is normal.” Looking in the distance, I sat in a seat looking at my face in the mirror. There was blood travelling down my forehead going along my right cheek and between my eyes. Although it is bad, it was a little amusing and I could not help but laugh. Since I have no other way to treat my wounds, I take out the ointment I was carrying around. I put some of it on a piece of paper. The bloodshed starts to stop, I tried very hard to treat it. I cannot hear the conflict going on, the only thing I can hear is the sounds of the lively festival music. “The Master seemed to handle that situation well…” I said to myself. Although, perhaps I may be kicked out of this place tomorrow? There was such a sad feeling. The Master, First Hostess and Young Hostess all looked so angry towards me. “Alright, what to do now? I made so many side dishes and I can’t eat them all by myself…”

114. I go around the counter and check the previously prepared dishes that have been laid out on a large plate. There are a few side dishes. Stir fried pork, Japanese radish fried miso eggplant and other goods. Theres also miso soup and freshly cooked rice. I was thinking about freezing it and cooking it for lunch tomorrow. I feel as if all this cooking was in vain now. For now, I may serve them in a bowl and eat alone for tonight. Ginji-san is surely being chased by work at the moment. The heat of the oven starts to warm the room. Outside there was a sound as if something had crashed into the ground. I was scared but none the less I went outside, a black lump had fallen against the willow tree. Several of the tree branches had broken. I hurried over to get a better look at the lump on the floor. I know that it was an Ayakashi, but it seemed he was having a hard time and looked like he was suffering. “A Tengu?” It was a nice looking Tengu with black wings on his back, small and light. They looked like they were on the verge of falling off. Perhaps he was one of those Tengu’s going on a rampage back at the front? It seemed he was drunk, when I was growing up I’d see my grandpa like this a lot.

115. I arranged some cushions and let him lay on them. “Why am I remembering something delicious…” My Grandfather would also go out drinking a lot with an old friend, he would often come home drunk. As he made his way home I guess his friend felt they had no choice but to help him get back as he would become quite drowsy. As I was indulged in memories the old Tengu’s eyes started to flutter open. Both our eyes met. “What is this place? I, ouch ouch ouch.”

“Mister, mister, are you alright? Would you like some water?

“Who are you?” The old man lifted the upper half of his body and I handed him the water. Even though his nose seems injured he manages to get up by himself and falls forward,

“What is this place?”

“Ah, this place is separated from Tenjin-ya.”

“What? Tenjin-ya?” The old mans eyes seem to get red when Tenjin-ya is mentioned.

116. He must have been one of the Tengu who had gotten into that big fight. It totally went over my head. In a panicked voice I added. “Ah, but it’s only me here! This place was abandoned by Tenjin-ya.”

“What?”

“Hey, Mister are you hungry? I prepared a lot of dishes earlier but might need to cook more rice.”

“…….”

“Did you not eat at Tenjin-ya?” The old man’s stomach made a growling sound, I suppose that was his answer. I started to laugh harder and harder and the old man seemed to seem confused in his sleepy state. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no. My Grandfather also got hurt when he was drunk so he’d sleep. I’d make sure he wasn’t hungry or sleepy.” What a story. My grandfather would get hungry when drunk and then would fall asleep on the spot crushing things. He’d then be very hungry after waking up. However this Tengu spread out on the cushions on the floor reminds me greatly of him. “I suppose I am hungry but I can’t eat food made by a little girl!”

“Is that right? Even the cuisine at Tenjin-ya didn’t suit your tastes.”

117. “……”

“Well, I’m going to set up the counter, so feel free to pick up some chopsticks if you want some supper.” With that said I head towards the counter and stepped inside. I washed my hands then prepared the chopsticks and chopstick rests. I also set out a bowl of rice seasoned with pickled burdock, putting it closest to where the old man was sitting. I then return to the counter to warm up the simmer pork and radish, as the pot begins to boil a pleasant smell comes out. I dip my finger in slightly to have a small taste. The seasoning has gone into the radish and it tastes very good. “Oi, girl.” After I had a taste of the dish, the old Tengu calls me over with an impatient voice. I pulled my finger out from the pot thinking he may have thought me as rude eating this way. As I step out from behind the counter I see the old man is still lying down on the cushions. “Oi, please help me to get to the counter.” In short, he wants this, ‘little girl,’ to carry him on my back. Why did this old man have to be injured? I take him over to the counter seat. “Good, set me here.”

118. The old tengu took a seat, he immediately asked for a cup of hot tea, I poured one right away. I returned to the inside of the counter careful in handling the food. He made a groaning sound. I had realized the old man was looking at the vinegar burdock root.

“Mister? Would you like some simmered pork and radish?”

“……”

“I can prepare a little if you’d like to eat something.” He seems to be in an eccentric like dazed state, although I may be a good thing that this old man is quiet, so I may do as I wish. What a tame refusal. From inside of the counter I place out bowl full of simmered pork and radish in front of the old man. Pork and radish is made by roasting ingredients in sesame oil then simmering it with soup stock and soy sauce. In this new world even Ayakashi enjoy the tastes of things sweet and light whilst being stupendously delighted. Since this is not a dish that can be accompanied with sake I set out a bowl of white rice and miso soup. I stood inside of the counter for a little while before I heard a voice call out “Hey,” followed by a chuckle.

“This isn’t enough, isn’t there anything else I can have?”

119. ”There’s stir-fried meat, eggplant and miso but it may be a little heavy.”

“Good, bring it all out!” I wonder if he was really hungry? It’s like he has the same habits as my grandfather who also ate quite a lot.

“I’m sorry, because of the limited ingredients I had here I didn’t plan to make anything great, only enough to fill my stomach. I wish I’d prepared it differently since originally I had intended to eat alone…” Whilst preparing the food and chattering to myself the old Tengu asked me a question.

“You, what’s your name?”

“Aoi, Aoi Tsubaki. I’m a human.”

“Tsubaki? Human?”

“Oh, I suppose a human being in the Hidden Realm would be quite a funny thing… But please reframe from eating me since there’s food here.” I set out the warmed meat, some freshwater, eggplant and miso in a small bowl. The old tengu stared at me from the counter.

“Eh, is what’s up? Is there something on my face?”

“You, well are you the daughter of Shiro Tsubaki?” I blinked a few times in shock. Of all places I certainly did not think my grandfather’s name would be brought up here.

120.I also gaze at the old Tengu. Unlike the eyes that I’ve been cautious of, it seemed like eyes that were looking at something nostalgic. Suddenly, a smile slipped through.

“Almost. I’m Shiro Tsubaki’s granddaughter.” 

“Oh, his granddaughter, huh.” 

“Yes, do you know my grandfather?” 

“I do. Yeah, I know him very well.” 

The old Tengu looked up at the ceiling as he was immersed in his memories. For a moment, he fell silent. And in a big voice followed by a laugh, he let out a “gahahaha.” 

“I see. At last, a granddaughter. Ahahahaha”

“M-mister?”

“My name is Matsuba. Call me Matsuba-sama, Aoi.” 

I can’t help but say it obediently when he states it so clearly. 

Certainly, this man seems to be quite a remarkable Tengu. No, just being a Tengu alone may be remarkable.

Without thinking, Matsuba-sama filled his mouth with rice and gulped it down in front of me, along with a side dish stretching his cheek out.

As I watch this grandpa eating the food so energetically and deliciously, I end up remembering my grandfather. 

 121.“How is it, does it suit your taste?” 

“Oh yes, it reminds me of my mother’s cooking.”

“You have a mother, Matsuba-sama?” 

“Of course. Even ayakashi have mothers who give birth to them.”

So that’s how it is, I can’t really imagine that. 

“For an excellent tengu like Matsuba-sama, this kind of home cooking must be boring to you.”

“No.. It’s good to have occasionally.” 

As Matsuba-sama held the bowl with a side dish, he was absorbed in deep thought. Did this person really go on a rampage at the front desk at Tenjin-ya?

“Hey, did the food at Tenjin-ya not suit the taste of tengus?” I tried asking him boldly. Without knowing what Matsuba-sama was thinking, he curved his mouth and distorted his face. 

“Hmm, I simply got tired of it.

“We, who are regulars at Tenjin-ya, got tired of the same food that is always served here.” 

“Is that so.”

“The head chef is a stubborn guy. He won’t even listen to any requests. He has the attitude where we have to consume it gratefully since he serves us.”

“There is a traditional taste..”

 122.“However, you can’t help but get tired of it. I’m just saying it honestly.”

As Matsuba-sama states that he isn’t in the wrong, he raises his chin up. ‘Well, things like that could happen,’ as I thought to myself. Anyhow, I am just an outsider.

“However, Aoi, your food is nostalgic rather than disagreeable. It’s all food that is passed down from the present world. Not only that, but it is also the taste that Ayakashi like.”

“Have you been to the present world before?”

“Of course, because tengus like human girls. There have been many occurrences where young girls from the apparent world would be whisked away to become brides.” 

“What..” That would be kidnapping… Matsuba-sama spoke as if it was a normal thing, but as expected after hearing something like that, I became hardened. Even if they are rotten, they are still ayakashi. 

“My mother was also a human girl. Her home cooking was simple, yet gentle. Just like food from the apparent world.”Around Matsuba-sama’s eyes filled with wrinkles, just for a little bit, began to become less tense. A grandpa as feeble as him also remembers the taste of his mother’s it seems. 

Even I, for a little bit started remembering my mother. But as expected, I stopped myself. Just by remembering my mother’s taste, my body starts shivering. It’s not that I don’t know my mother’s taste, but by no means is the taste of love free. Even if I wanted it, it’s something that would never be given to me.

 123

After looking at my facial expression, Matsuba-sama spoke slowly.

“Aoi, you resemble Shiro.”

“Really? A lot of Ayakashi say that, but I wonder if I resemble him that much.” I lifted my face and for some reason, pinched my cheeks. When I’m told that I resemble my grandfather, I have just a bit of a sense of discomfort. But since we’re connected by blood, it’s not like we wouldn’t be similar to each other. 

“Your faces might be similar but it’s also the same vibe that you both give off.” 

“Is that so? I always thought that I was more calm than my grandpa.” 

“Hahaha. No, no. You two have similar spiritual powers.” 

“Spiritual powers…?” I have no idea what that means. Besides being able to see Ayakashi, I never felt that I had any other special powers. 

“Shiro was a wild human. He came to the hidden realm by himself and would cause havoc with a lot of Ayakashi. Because of that, a lot of Ayakashi also were after his life.”

“Haha, that sounds like my grandpa.”

“There has been a time where I’ve also been helped by Shiro before. It’s been 50 years since then. It was around the time when he was still a boy. After getting drunk from sake, I fell into the Daikanro River, a river that crosses the hidden realm.”

 124

“Oh my.” I wonder how many times this grandpa has told this story.. Even though I think that, without words, it touched my heart. 

“I may be a great tengu who has lived for over a hundred something years, but at any rate, my iron clogs were heavy. As I was drowning, I ended up sinking too easily. My wings have also gotten wet, so they were too heavy for me to fly.” 

As if Matsuba-sama was making fun of himself, he laughed abruptly.

“Fishing at the Daikanro River is prohibited, but like as usual, Shiro was fishing there. When he found me drowning, with that fragile human body, he jumped into the river and pulled me up to the sea bank.” 

“Well, my grandpa is the type of person who did humanitarian actions.”

“No, no. He pestered me for a reward for saving my life. He was a shameless fellow.”

“Oh.. I see..” As expected, grandpa was a useless grandpa back then too. 

“So, what in the world did you end up giving to my grandpa?” As I was getting curious, Matsuba-sama looked away.

“At that time, I didn’t have anything on me. Later on, I promised to give him a treasured fan.

 125

Shiro nodded in agreement, but he ended up not showing up before me for a while.”

“Hmm, I wonder if that was when he returned to the modern world.” 

“I wouldn’t know. He was a carefree, happy-go-lucky guy. He doesn’t keep his promises, but he’s unable to ignore what’s happening in front of him. He was an irresponsible person who lived for the moment.

“That is absolutely true.” Living in the moment, or rather, my grandfather’s haphazard way of life was expressed so wittily that for some reason, made my chest burn up. ‘This ayakashi really knows my grandfather,’ I thought once again. 

“Since then, after time passed by, I’ve met him many times. But it seems that he forgot the promise. He never accepted it in the end.”

“Yeah, he probably really forgot.”

“It seems so. He’s that kind of person after all.” It’s not a seat for liquor, but Matsuba-sama still continued on about stories of the past.

Perhaps, it was as if his flood of memories was starting to overflow. If he didn’t talk, he wouldn’t be able to sort everything out. 

“I liked Shiro. The majority of the ayakashi in the hidden realm would call him a good-for-nothing human, or a lowlife, worse than ayakashi. But even that was amusing and exhilarating.

 126

“Ah, a lowlife, worse than ayakashi…” It’s not mistaken. Even in the modern world, ayakashi have also said that. 

“I heard a rumor that Shiro has a big debt at Tenjinya. He’s a good for nothing fellow.”

Matsuba-sama sipped some hot tea and let out a long breath.  

“Nevertheless, your cooking is exquisite. It’s the taste that ayakashi like. My mother knew this taste but had a hard time with it.”

“The taste my grandpa liked and what the ayakashi like are similar. Sweet, light seasoning, and plain flavors.”

“Oh? That’s strange. Back then, he used to say that the food in the hidden realm was too bland to eat.”

“What?”

“Well, his taste must have changed.” Before I could think, Matsuba-sama came up with this conclusion. It’s true that as you get older, your taste could change. Could it be that my grandfather’s taste gradually changed to an ayakashi’s. Or did he miss the hidden realm’s food..

  127. I became confused at such a thing.

“Where is Shiro now? If his granddaughter is here surely, he is coming as well? How is he? Is he well?” The look in Matsuba-sama’s eyes is fun, filled with the excitement of a small child, almost shattering. I shake my head.

“No. He’s dead. He wasn’t that old, but he fell down a flight of stairs and died. It wasn’t a pleasant thing.” The sad sunken expression on Matsuba-sama’s face after finding out that my grandfather had died felt strange. Everyone else seemed pleased with my grandfather’s death but it seems the opposite for Matsuba-sama.

“I see, he was a generous man. He was respectable even amongst Ayakashi.”

“……”

“Human beings are such fragile creatures. Most can’t even live a hundred years.” His voice was lonely. Matsuba-sama sipped his tea with a sad look on his face. After that Matsuba-sama had tried to get drunk, however a cold expression came over him when I told him there was no sake here. He stood up in silence uttering, “I’m going to go drink.” He then left, I watched from the bottom of the willow tree as he flew overhead sending the pine wood flying.

128. Ships still soared in the night sky and the festival has not yet stopped. Matsuba-sama who was also flying amongst them slowly got smaller and smaller. He was a strange visitor but thanks to him I recalled the unlucky events that had happened to me. According to Matsuba-sama’s stories my grandfather has travelled in and out of the Hidden Realm alone. No matter how much I think about it I can’t help but wonder if he was not lonely, if he wasn’t scared. No matter how hard I think about this person that is no longer here no answers manage to come out. He was deeply loved and respected by some people here, but even in this world some things have not changed. When I think about my grandfather being the person he was it is nostalgic and unavoidable. My grandfather who tried to make his own granddaughter an ogre’s bride and a debtor. This feeling of sadness is something that I cannot do anything about. There’s nothing I can do about it; my grandfather’s debt is also my own burden.

129. The next day I got up at dawn, after rearranging some of the surrounding furniture I ate a lot of the leftovers. Yesterday Matsuba-sama the old Tengu had eaten a lot of it, so there wasn’t too much trouble. I washed the cooking utensils and dishes after eating cheerfully. This is a lovely place, it’s sad that it’s going to be destroyed but it does belong to Tenjin-ya. Now it looks the same from before I used it, it can’t be helped.

“Alright.” It was about noon when I had finished with all of the work. If I cannot work in this inn I have no choice but to find work on the outside. I put on the matcha kimono for employees that Ginji-san had given me. In this world the trend of a light blue flowy dress is nonexistent. Instead everyone wears kimonos, they are still thin, light and they cover your whole body.

“Oh, right, hair ornament.” I remember the camellia ornament that was given to me by the Ogre God and take it out of my bag. I miss those pleasures of standing under the Torii bridge, overlooking the face of a demon who turned out to be the Master of Tenjinya. Thinking back on those times are almost hilarious and the hunger in my stomach ceases.

130.” Well, looks like I’m selling this to a pawnbroker.” Even if it is pretty I attempt to put the hair ornament into the depths of my bag then stop, placing it on the counter. If I’m going to venture out of Tenjinya then I will leave this here. I walk the distance towards the door. Alright, let’s do our best to find a job.

“Aoi-san!” At the moment Ginji-san came out from the back door of the main building and passed through a corridor. He is now in the form of a young man wearing a Japanese half coat.

“Oh, Ginji-san! Great timing. Could I look for a job outside?”

“Outside? What? Why on Earth… No, you can’t. Aoi-san please come here.” Ginji-san seems as if he’s in a hurry, what could be making him like this? I follow him across from the courtyard, hurried along the corridor and went to the front desk. At the front of the main building all the work has stopped and all of the Tenjinya employees are lined up. The first lady, the young snow woman, the Tsuchigomo and the chief daruma. Other than that I don’t know anything about the others and for some reason there seems to be a large dog that was rampaging yesterday.

131. When I walked in everyone’s attention seemed to land on me, I thought that something must have been wrong. Cold sweat runs down. The Master came over to me with a sublime look on his face. Looking into his red eyes is worrying.

“Aoi, did you cook a meal for the tengu?” I was thrilled, I wonder if this is all about Matsuba-sama, however I wonder if I had done something that I shouldn’t have. The thought of them being angry at me and kicking me out was chilling.

“Aoi, Aoi! I was looked after last night.” At that time Matsuba-sama was wearing a kimono with the pattern of a mountain on it as he spoke to me through the crowd of Ayakashi. The Tengu were lined up side by side amongst the Ayakashi, they all made way for Matsuba-sama. Matsuba-sama walked over to me cane in hand at the front desk. Could Matsuba-sama possibly be a respected person? A great Tengu? Yesterday he was just a miserable old man who fell under a willow tree covered in branches.

“Aoi, Aoi you helped me who had fallen and served me delicious food, you are also Shiro’s granddaughter, so I will care for you.”

“Well thank you for that.”

“Therefore, I will give you this this Tengu fan.”

 132.Matsuba-sama presented me with an eight-leafed fan. I thought of rude things such as to why I’d need such an object. The Ayakashi employees of Tenjinya all made surprising sounds when they saw it.

“Ehhhhhhh?” Their eyes raised as they all jumped up. Even the Master has an unbelievable look of surprise in his eyes.

“Here, this was originally meant for Shiro and for that reason you, his granddaughter will inherit it.”

“Huh? But is that okay? By the looks of everyone’s reactions this must be really precious.”

“It’s alright, it’s okay.” Matsuba-sama is in a completely different state from yesterday, he’s in a good mood and can look after himself. I look at my hand in puzzlement as he gives me the fan.

“From what I’ve heard you seem to be staying here at Tenjinya as a way to pay off Shiro’s debt, as his debtor. What a waste. What a pity. If you don’t want to work in a place like this come to Mount Shumon, there you will be treated with hospitality. If anything, you could even marry one of my sons. Then you will be my relative and we will pay off the debt. The Tengu will take care of such a human girl.”

As a result of Matsuba-sama’s outrageous proposal the Tenjinya employees once again stare at me in shock, I hold onto the eight-leafed fan.

133.The Master says nothing but only narrows his eyes. However, Ginji-san seems to be in a rush as he kneels at the feet of Great Tengu lowering his head.

“We cannot do that Matsuba-sama. We cannot do that.”

“Why not, nine tails?” Ginji-san continues to bow to Matsuba-sama although, I can understand Matsuba-sama’s reasoning and position.

“Aoi-san is also the Masters fiancée.”

“Ha. Fiancée? And he drove her to a place like that? A granddaughter of Shiro is my granddaughter as well.”

“Haha, yes well, that’s right, I suppose…” Matsuba-sama continues to scold Ginji-san. I rush over and stand in front of Ginji-san.

“Matsuba-sama, Ginji-san is my savior so please to not scold him so harshly.”

“Well alright, if you say so. But Aoi, please come with me.”

“Aha, Matsuba-sama I’m sorry but I cannot accept such an offer.” Matsuba-sama the Tengu standing to his side and all of the Tenjinya employees all let out gasps of surprise at my quick decision. A few voices of shock surface here and there. I can feel the Master staring at me with his red eyes, I do not know what he’s thinking.

134. Well, it doesn’t matter, I turn to face Matsuba-sama again.

“The thing is I can see that you care about me but Matsuba-sama if I go with you I know I will regret it.”

“Aoi, why?”

“Shiro Tsubaki is my grandfather and I want to fix what he’s done.” This may have been a foolish choice, but I feel as if I should clean up after my grandfather. It was for that reason my grandfather took me in after all.

“Besides, I told that Ogre over there I’d work off the debt and I can’t break that promise without his permission, and I know he’d rather I pay it back quickly instead of me bothering the Ayakashi working in the inn. However, I try not to listen to such mean things.” Matsuba-sama looks sad and disappointed, I can’t bear to watch.

“I’m sorry, I can’t accept this fan either.” I hold out the eight-leafed fan to the Great Tengu but Matsuba-sama but he slowly pushes it back towards me.

135.“Okay, but you keep that. I promised it to Shiro a long time ago, but he forgot about the eastward fan and did not accept it. Since you, Aoi, are supposed to be handling Shiro’s debt this eastward fan has been passed down to you.”

“Eastward fan…” It’s breathtaking. What does it mean eastward? Matsuba-sama stubbornly insisted that I keep it. ‘If you say so,’ I thought to myself as I hold it thankfully. However, it is difficult to think of a use for it in the first place, I have no idea what it’s supposed to be used for. Perhaps it’d look cool under a dish of some sort?

“Ogre God.” Matsuba-sama stands in front of the Master, before he was treated with great respect but now the Master smiles at him in a businesslike manner.

“What is it, Matsuba-sama?”

“If Aoi is your fiancée take care of her more. I know that you and Shiro have some history but that does not mean his grandchild is to blame.”

“Haha well, I don’t especially remember mistreating her.”

“Oh, you’re playing dumb.”

136. The old tengu turned his back to the Master and the rest of them.

“Well good because after the incidents of last night I was thinking about not using Tenjinya for a while but after Aoi’s delicious food I’ve decided to let it slide.”

“Thank you very much.”

“Well we did go a little overboard and will cover half the cost of repairing the inn.” The Master bowed his head to Matsuba-sama, other employees follow with looks of relief. It seems that I am one of the only people left upstanding. To me Matsuba-sama lowers his head.

“Aoi, because I ate your dish I became full of energy. When I eat your food, I feel powerful. You should open up a small restaurant and invite me to it.” Matsuba-sama leapt up on the spot.

“Ha? My food is just home cooking it’d be impossible for me to prepare a proper meal, let alone a restaurant.” I laughed at Matsuba-sama’s idea, however Ginji-san spoke up for me.

“Yes, that’s right! Aoi-san should open an eatery in that place. Please rethink your decision to break it down and let it belong to Aoi-san so she can be a chef. It’ll be a new start!”

137. “Ha?” Even Ginji-san thinks so, how strange. What are they thinking? I was about to laugh but I cover my mouth in a hurry.

“W-wait a second. What are you talking about? I can’t do that!” The cooking from here is a lot different from my cooking, I can understand that much. I try to refuse them. I’ll just find another job. However, Ginji-san begins to talk with Matsuba-sama about it.

“That’s right. If you do decide to please let me visit you at that place when I come to Tenjinya. If you want, you could even give it a name.”

“Thankfully, Matsuba-sama is one of our most esteemed guests. So, all of the Tengu would visit, it’d be extremely busy.” Ginji-sans business skills are a little terrible. The Ayakashi around me seem to be in a fuss about it, especially the Daruma standing in the shadows who have sour looks on their faces.

“Um, um. I don’t think I could make a very delicious meal though.”

“No, Aoi-san! You told me you’d listen to anything that I’d ask.” Ginji-san gripped my shoulders firmly and smiled at me. Eh? No, I told you to ask if you ever needed anything.

138. “That’s why you should cook at that place. This is also an opportunity for you to repay your debt.”

“……..” I can’t get out of this, I can’t get out of this. I can’t refuse, I have to pay back my debts. The inside of my head goes blank. At that time the Master speaks up.

“Please wait.” He said with a low voice, ending the flow of the conversation.

“Do not decide this on your own, I will decide. Understood? Ginji.”

“Yes Master, understood.” Ginji-san stiffens a little bit and bows his head to the Master.

“We will think about what to do with it, but for now let’s wait. For now, we have to get the inn up and running again. We can’t let it remain this way.”

I try not to panic, in that moment the Master puts his hand on Ginji-san’s shoulder, they both give me a passing glance before they stand to go before Matsuba-sama.

“Matsuba-sama, I apologize for how rudely we conducted ourselves yesterday. Please continue to use our services in the future.”

“Hm. While we’re talking about apologies for being rude I suppose we should too. Well, thanks to Aoi we accept your apology. Only for Aoi’s sake, and you remember that well.”

139. “Yes, of course.” After the interaction, the Tengu were rushed into a large conference room called, ‘Enma,’ by the first lady. The Tenjin-ya executives are also sucked into a working spree far and in-between. Whilst holding the treasured Tengu fan I watch the movements of various Ayakashi.

“Aoi.” The Master passed by and called out to me. I think worriedly to myself.

“I don’t know where you were going but know I will not allow you to leave Tenjin-ya.”

“But I thought I could look for a job outside?”

“Wait awhile, okay?” The Master grabs my hand and puts it to my head, it feels a little obscure. A black sleeve brushes my cheek and his arm passes by. I’ll wait as he says, I feel a little tired anyway.

140. “Don’t feel bad human girl.” The front desk Tsuchigomo says as he passes me. Although I don’t entirely get what he’s trying to say. With uncertainty in my mind I step into the dark corridor and sit down on the unused steps. The raccoon room hostess girl calls out to me, she sits down as she eats Manju buns.

“That old man Tengu seems to be quite fond of you.” The raccoon girl throws me a manju bun that I catch.

“Although because of it Tenjin-ya will be able to resolve the problem easily.”

“Ha?”

“Last night the Master tried to entertain the angry Tengu on one of our luxury ships ‘Kukakumaru,’ but the drunken Matsuba-sama who was not in a good mood drank too much and fell off the boat. The Tengu finished up the feast and searched frantically for Matsuba-sama but they couldn’t find him. It was a pretty big deal.”

“I see. That’s why Matsuba-sama was in that place.” Matsuba-sama must have remembered the sight of falling under the willow tree. Although it must be bad practice for a Tengu to fall from such a height. The raccoon girl continues to eat the Manju.

141. “At that point in time it had already been said that it was impossible to restore ties with the Tengu of Shumon Mountain since Matsuba-sama is the head Tengu. The Tenjin-ya executives had a meeting in the conference room this morning while everyone else was repairing the front desk area. Guests are leaving out the front gate and tonight Tenjin-ya is in temporary repair mode. Most guests have cancelled.”

I thought that no customers other than the Tengu would have been in the front anyway.

“Well then the Tengu came over and started yelling about letting go of Shiro Tsubaki’s granddaughter. ‘Bring Aoi Tsubaki to the front.’ Because of it the front desk could not be fully restored.”

“Wow, that happened?” Although it is said that leftovers are often better I didn’t know that such good things could come out of my cooking. Perhaps I hadn’t even realized it myself?

“I feel kind of blurry. I don’t even know what your position is.”

“I don’t get what you’re saying?”

“The executives are jealous that they’re taking care of a human girl like you. Especially the daruma in the kitchen which is where most things are taken care of. You better be careful.”

“It could be worse.” I only thing I’ll get worried if it becomes an extremely troublesome matter.

142. “Ahaha, but there could also be good things.”

The raccoon girl jumped off the stairs, her brown her brushed passed me. She turned to leave.

“Hey, what’s your name?” I asked for the name of the raccoon girl.

“It’s Kasuga!” Cheerfully she rushes to the brighter side of the hallway. Now I’m familiar with the situation although I thought it would have been a stupid reason that I couldn’t have understood. I nibble on the Manju. After that I went back to the small building, I sat inside in the quiet. I lie down ready to sleep in spite of the stillness of the afternoon. The smell of tatami mats is new, in saying that it’s also relieving, giving me peace of mind. I closed my eyes. I’m thankful that I have time to just simply breathe in silence accompanied by the smell of tatami mats. I fall into a short sleep.

 DO NOT CLAIM TRANSLATIONS AS YOUR OWN. You are allowed to use these translations as a base to translate into other languages WITH permission only.

Novels are bought from CDJapan

Pages 120-126 done by @Tokouru

Rest done by Kakuriyo-translations

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[wolfqueen-is-here]

Kisses Remembered, Kisses Forgotten (Jonsa Secret Santa 2018)

Dearest @moonchildslife, I am so sorry for my delay, Christmas was crazier than I expected, and I didn’t finish my gift on time. But it is here now, and I hope you don’t find it too terrible ;). I wish you a wonderful year with Jonsa becoming canon in April and our fandom wishes coming true. Be happy, be healthy, be yourself! <3

Many thanks to @jonsasecretsanta2018 who made all of this happen, you truly are amazing!

  A/N Don’t be alarmed by a brief mention of the Hound. I promise you, it has nothing to do with SanSan in any way except mentioning The Un-Kiss. Book!canon, but mostly show!canon, can be interpreted both as a filler and an AU. 2300 words

  Kisses Remembered, Kisses Forgotten

Every now and then Sansa remembers, even though she has tried so hard to leave the past behind. The Hound was rough and scary, but the kiss that he took left a lingering taste on her lips—it was as soft as snow, almost familiar, she’s caught herself missing the shy affection that came with the kiss, a wary touch so vulnerable it felt almost childish. She remembers the kiss that he took. The only thing she doesn’t remember is him taking it.

Every night feels longer and darker than the former ones. It isn’t until she jumps from Winterfell walls that she remembers how to feel warm again, but the road north is as cold as ice and covered in snow. “His lips felt warm”, she thinks as she runs towards her freedom. “The kiss that he took, it felt warm.”

There are times when she is almost certain that she gave it willingly.

 —

“You look cold,” Jon says after staring at her in silence for a good half an hour. It would annoy her beyond reason, were it anyone else, anyone less trustworthy, anyone less… Jon, but coming from him it’s almost flattering. No one has ever cared for her so since she’d lost Father. Not once until this very moment has she felt safe since then.

“I’m okay,” she smiles. His unblinking eyes refuse to leave hers even for a second as if she’d vanish otherwise. Sansa leans towards him and strokes the inside of his palm with her thumb. It’s the most innocent of caresses, but it makes Jon stiffen and finally lower his head. She misses the stare instantly. “I’m okay, Jon.”

She tastes his name on her tongue. It feels rough—when was the last time she used it? —but sweeter than all the cake she’s ever had. She wants to swallow it, possess it, make it hers. “Jon,” she muses. “Jon. My Jon.”

If it’s something more primal than sisterly affection, she doesn’t recognise it in time. It may occur to her later, but it will be too late.

 —

The first night that she spends at Castle Black is a sleepless one. The shadows are long when she paces aimlessly around the room, too exhausted to fall asleep, too cold to lie still. Knocking at the door alerts her at first—she’s not used to feeling safe yet—she whispers: “Who’s there?” so quietly as if she were hoping nobody would answer.

“It’s me,” Jon says.

She lets him in.

“Do you have everything that you need?” he asks, looking at her with a strange longing.

Had it been more fitting, she’d say: “I have you,” but in their current situation she’d stumble over the words for certain. Instead, she just invites him to stay—just sit next to her and not talk until the sun rises and the shadows go back under her bed. They repeat it every night after that, it seems to comfort both of them.

 —

Jon’s eyes follow Sansa as he tries to find something—anything—that would remind him of a little girl she used to be. Her skirts dance when she rocks her hips, walking around Castle Black like she’d lived here all her life. He wants to avert his gaze but finds it impossible. She’s grown so tall, so slender—so beautiful.

“She’s your sister,” he thinks angrily, hiding his face in his hands. “You are not allowed to look at her like that.”

There were times, many lives ago, when they were only children. Sansa’s hair was more orange than auburn, Jon’s face—smooth, not a trace of beard or scars on it. They both called lord Eddard Stark their father. They both walked around holding Robb’s hand. They both watched Bran fall asleep while they were singing lullabies. Both, yes, but not—together.

When he tries to think about their lives before everything happened, before he went north and she went south, he keeps coming back to that one particular memory. And he’s not allowed to remember it. Not ever.

“She’s your sister,” he thinks, but as her lips move while she’s telling him another story, he watches. The redness of them almost provocative, they look like she’s been biting them for the past few hours. It’s a mesmerising set of colours: her lips with a raspberry tint, screaming to be tasted, licked, devoured; her eyes, deep blue almost exactly like the ones that used to follow him with disdain when he was nothing more than a bastard boy, but there’s no disdain in Sansa’s eyes, only hope. Her fair complexion contrasts with the dark streaks of her auburn hair, almost brown in the dimly lit room. Jon quashes the need to cup Sansa’s cheek and stroke it with his fingers, to check if her soft, unwavering beauty isn’t only a product of his hallucinations. He wouldn’t dare.

 —

Sansa enters the dining room when there’s barely anyone left. A few wildlings share a horn of ale, laughing. There’s also Edd sitting in the furthest, darkest corner, and he looks really down—Edd always looks down, that’s an inherent part of his personality, “The defining part”, Tormund insists, but Sansa doesn’t care, because Edd, albeit rather shy, is kind and caring, and that’s more than she could expect from a stranger. The wildlings terrify her still, she doesn’t know their customs, they’re far too loud and bold for her taste, so she chooses to cross the room and take a sit in front of Edd.

They don’t talk, there’s no need for it. Sansa eats her soup, wondering whether Jon has already eaten, and Edd just keeps staring at the ceiling. Weirdly, his silent presence comforts Sansa more than any words could.

When everybody leaves, Sansa reaches for Edd’s half-empty horn and moves her hand up and down its uneven surface. It’s become apparent these past few days that sleep refuses to come easily for her at Castle Black, and when she finally drifts off after hours of rolling over from side to side, her dreams are filled with memories—but are they real? Are they hers?

She doesn’t think about the Hound that often. He’s been a big part of her life when she was a prisoner in King’s Landing, but her fascination with his tragic story faded and went by long ago. She cannot remember his face anymore, only the scars, she doesn’t even know if she’d be glad to see him again. The memories of him and the torments from the Lannisters became too inseparable in her mind, and that’s why she doesn’t want to think of him or imagine their meeting.

Not now. Not ever.

Then why is her brain so set on bringing back the memory of the kiss? She can feel a sweet breath on her chin every morning when she wakes up from her blurry dreams—why is it sweet? Wasn’t the Hound monumentally drunk that night?—she can taste it, again and again. Her first kiss, that one thing she knows for sure. She’d gotten a few pecks from Joffrey, yes, they should probably count as first, but somehow it doesn’t feel right.

She closes her eyes and clasps her hands around the horn.

“I thought you weren’t fond of our ale,” Jon says, suddenly very close—how did he get so close without Sansa hearing his steps? Did she black out again?

“I heard it helps to forget.”

“It does,” his voice sounds worried, “for a while. It doesn’t make your past go away.”

Sansa raises her head and their eyes lock immediately as if they’re a couple of lovers always on a mission to find each other.

“For a while,” she repeats. “Sounds better than never.”

The ale tastes much worse than she remembered it—it’s bitter and stale, and reeks of old, damp barrels—but her lips don’t leave the edge of the horn until it’s empty. Jon’s eyes move to her throat as she swallows and stay there even after she’s finished.

At first, she doesn’t think anything’s changed—the same emptiness fills her, the same desperation—but minutes pass as they sit opposite one another in silence, and her head finally starts to feel both lighter and heavier, her thoughts stir inside her brain, but never fully form. It’s a bliss. It’s a curse.

She sits in the middle of a meadow, it’s late summer. The winds got chilly but she’s got a blanket around her arms. She’s knitted it herself. She’s content. She’s happy. She’s Queen Naerys Targaryen.

“Are you alright? That’s quite a lot of ale you just inhaled,” Jon murmurs, gently touching her arm. Sansa looks up and smiles at him.

“I’ll be fine,” she answers. “I’ll be fine, Jon. You can go to sleep, you look tired.”

He laughs hoarsely and it makes Sansa’s belly tighten.

“Not until I see you safely tucked under your furs.”

He approaches her with his back straight and a sword at his side. Where did he get that sword, she thinks briefly but continues to look at his beaming face.

“I’ve come to rescue you, my Queen.”

“You can’t, my love,” she says, remembering to dress her face in the deepest, most regal shade of sadness. “We’re bound to our fate forever. You’ve made your vows, as I have made mine.”

He kneels before her. He’s brave, he’s gentle, he’s strong. He’s Prince Aemon the Dragonknight.

Sansa tries to stand up all too quickly, her head spins violently and she has to hold on to the table to avoid falling. She can barely feel her legs and her arms—how strong was that ale?—but the burning hotness of Jon’s hand on her lower back, oh, that she feels.

“Careful,” he says, pulling her closer and throwing her arm around his neck. “You’re still much too weak to start drinking so heavily. Don’t let go, alright? I’m going to walk you to your chambers now.”

And he proceeds to do just that.

When Sansa lies in bed feeling truly sleepy for the first time since she’s reached Castle Black on her dying horse, she suddenly remembers everything.

His face is just inches away. He’s wearing his hair pulled tightly in the back like a true adult, but he’s been playing with swords all day and a few strands have escaped the knot, hanging loosely around his face. She feels the urge to curl one of them around her finger but before she decides to make a move, he leans in and kisses her on the lips.

It surprises her—the lightness of it as much as the act itself. “It’s not wrong as long as I’m Queen Naerys and he’s Prince Aemon,” she tells herself as she involuntarily moves closer and exhales into his warm mouth. His fingers wander up and down her sleeve, curious but never inappropriate. The kiss doesn’t last long, a few heartbeats maybe, but before it’s finished, she can hear him whisper: “Sansa.”

And instantly he’s Jon again, and she’s Sansa. And they’ve done something unforgivable.

 —

Jon’s almost asleep when he hears banging at his door. He jumps out of bed and rushes to open it only to find a breathless Sansa on the other side. Her eyes are wide, and she looks absolutely terrified. If she’s still a bit in her cups, it doesn’t show.

“What happened?” he asks.

She’s shivering. He wants to put his hand on her arm but she jumps away.

“You kissed me,” she hisses, her tone accusatory.

Jon blinks. Not that he hasn’t thought of it, because of course he has. He won’t admit it to anyone but though he tried extremely hard to see his long-lost sister in the beauty that has brought him back to life, he failed miserably. The truth is—she was never a sister to him, not even before they parted ways.

“I assure you,” he answers quietly, “I did not. I didn’t even enter your chambers, I asked lady Brienne to help.”

“Not tonight,” Sansa sighs and Jon realises she’s standing before him barefoot, dressed only in some old sleeping gown, but somehow she’s never looked more queenly with her demanding expression and fiery glare. “When we were children. A few months before we left Winterfell. We played… we played, and you…”

And he kissed her.

He kissed her and he never regretted it once until she came to him, crying, and ordered him to forget it ever happened. He didn’t want to, it was too precious a memory, but he obliged. For Sansa.

“I thought we weren’t speaking of it,” he whispers carefully.

She was really shook when she came to him that day, he never wanted to see Sansa cry, and to be the reason for her despair—it was too much for him to bear.

“We aren’t. I just… I forgot.”

“You forgot?” he asks, feeling hurt. It was his only kiss before Ygritte and he wasn’t even allowed to savour that memory. How could she have forgotten?

“I’m sorry,” she says. “What we did… it was wrong. I didn’t… I couldn’t… I think I repressed it. I made myself believe it happened with someone else.” She lowers her head and he’s afraid to spook her by asking who that person was, but he’s certain it will haunt him forever. Was it Joffrey? Gods, he hopes it wasn’t him. Jon couldn’t bear it. Sansa makes a strangled noise at the back of her throat. “But I remember now.”

He doesn’t know what more to say, but Sansa doesn’t seem to expect any kind of explanation. It happened. It shouldn’t have, but it did. And it changed things between them.

Sansa finally dares to look at him. Her lips are parted, ready as they were in that meadow years ago. He doesn’t take advantage of her vulnerability. When they win back Winterfell, when the war is over—she will come to him of her own volition.

And he will have that second kiss, gods be damned.

[alliebruns-blog]

Races, Recces and Adventures for 2019

First off SORRY FOR NOT DOING BLOGS (to the 3 people that read them)

2019 has already been quite the year. Let’s get the excuses in, shall we? I have finally moved out of London to lovely sleepy Somerset – home of the Mendips, hills and lots of cows. The running here is ace and I feel like I have finally shaken off the horror of 23 years in London. But it’s a big change – the first month I felt like I was on a different planet – then I had to find work (you know that thing that actually pays you?) So I took a step back from internets for a bit. 

Another reason for lack of bloggage. It seems I have been writing them for everyone else but me this year. For some reason my inbox went a bit mad and I’ve been asked to write pieces, blogs and interviews for a Bulgarian Travel and Adventure Magazine (apparently I am going to be on the cover?!), Run Deep, Precision Hydration, Lessons in Badassery, Dure, Red Bull and Trail Running Magazine. Plus, I have to do my day job. And look after 4 dogs. And a 9 year-old (not mine but sort of is mine now….) and a man human. Jokes. He’s looking after me. 

 So what’s been going on? EVERYTHING HAS. 2019 started with BBR trotting over the The National Running Show in Birmingham where we had a stand and I gave a couple of talks. I was I the throws of a horrendous depressive episode and had to attempt to put a face on. I still wasn’t over Panama really. I think it took me about 3 months to get over it in the end. I had to do a talk on a panel about mental health and running (oh the irony) and then my own talk about running across deserts, jungles and that.

It was very difficult attempting to inspire people when I actually felt like a piece of shit. The show itself was ace and weirdly we have been asked to come back – but more on that a bit later.

I got out in January and February to do a couple of reccees for White Star Running. The weather was JOKES bad. 60mph winds and rain made for a very interesting trot along the coast.

We were checking the route for Septembers Run Jurassic races which are going to be amazing. Have a look at what’s on offer here - and rest assured that it shouldn’t be weather like this on the day…..

Then came the first race of the year - Larmer Tree Marathon in Dorset. Lest gusty with 40-50 mph winds making for another interesting run, and it was also Pickle the ultra dogs first official marathon – she loved it. Look at her little face! 

Then it was off to Bulgaria to do some talking about running. Myself and David from the Bad Boy Running Podcast were asked to go and do a talk at a running expo they had there and it was MEGA fun – defo returning nest year to do the 100KM ultra they are organising – it’s BEAUTIFUL in Sofia.

Back home and it was off to Rat Race’s Ultra Tour of Arran for the second year. 62 miles over 2 days with “some” elevation (A LOT) and some demons to slay. As you know I did NOT enjoy this last year - my fear of heights and ledges almost got the better of me, but this year was different. We had about 10 Do-Badders with us and some of them were first time ultra runners, so I felt a bit like I had a duty of care to them.

As part of my role with Rat Race, I did a little talk to people about the Bucket List which was great and I managed to get round the course with the whole squad without crying. Only issue was I ended up with an eye infection that meant I couldn’t wear my contacts. This is not recommended on mountainous trails. I fell over 3 times - my knee looked like someone had gone at it with a rifle. It really knocked my confidence for trails and I have been super careful ever since. I really hate falling over.  

Arran was beautiful and epic as always. I cannot recommend this race enough. Its otherworldly out there. Here are some pictures – the weather was so kind to us. If you get booking it now it’s pretty cheap – or even better register for a rat race season ticket and it sort of pays for itself! 

Next up was London marathon. It was my sixth year and I wasn’t looking forward to it having only just really moved away. I used to love this race, but I had done so little in the form of road running I was dreading it a bit. So I decided to spice it up by running it in reverse to the start and then running it the right way round.I need some night running experience for later I the year so why not?  I also wanted to raise money for my old friend Scott who we lost to suicide last year. If you want to give a few quid, the charity has been set up now and you can find it here.

We got up at 12am after 3 hours sleep and got our stuff together – we were running with a couple of friends starting at Birdcage walk. We decided on a 5-6 hour time as I had the real thing later on, and this was a training run ultimately. That didn’t go to plan and we ended up smashing out 20 miles in about 3 hours – meaning as we came into Greenwich everything was shut. ARGH! I need coffee! I’ve never waited for a Macdonalds to open, but that day I did! We decided to march out the last 6 miles as we had the time and my legs were already staging a protest about the relentless road pounding they were getting. Once we reached the start we headed over to a hotel on Blackheath where my amazing friend and Head of Crew™ was staying.

We had the BEST BREAKFAST EVER and got I got changed into fresh kit and then it was time to do it all over again. I forgot how much waiting about there was at London. I think I stood in the pen for about an hour, little legs seizing up, feeling cold for once. London is usually boiling. I took a minute to look around at the people running. Lots of them were doing their first and only marathon. Some of them made me want to cry. I saw a guy dressed in a bin bag looking nervous, fiddling with his headphones. He has  a message scrawled on his arm in sharpie – obviously written buy one of his kids. It said “I love you daddy and I am proud of you”. He kept looking at it. It made me want to cry. Sometimes humans can be wonderful. I bumped into the legend that is Anna Mcnuff in my start pen. She wasn’t wearing any shoes. Brilliant. She’s running the length of Britain barefoot so was a training run. I had SO MANY QUESTIONS but she seemed very cool about the whole thing. She really is relentlessly cheerful, that woman. 

 Then we were off. I felt pretty good considering the fact I had already done it once that day. As always there were huge crowds and bottlenecks and I was running a lot faster than I had done in a while. You can’t help it at London. You kind of get swept along. I was very wary of eating and drinking – I hadn’t eaten much during the night run and I am used to picnics on ultras now. I tried to take it easy but it felt easier to run at pace so I did what felt good. For once I wasn’t wearing a pack and it’s amazing how much that frees you to go a bit faster. I was relying on the water stops for all my hydration and that worked. 

One of the things I really noticed about the marathon this year is the aggro. I am so used to the chilled nature of trail runners that I totally forgot about what happened in New York. Road runners can be total arseholes. There were points when I ran over to the water station, signalling I was doing so, only to be physically bashed on the shoulder by other runners and told to “move out of the fucking way”. When I take water I tend to slow down, walk at pace, finish the water and then run on. It’s pretty obvious. I walk close to the edge so people can pass me. I’m sorry but people need to have a bit more patience. Fucking idiots. ANYWAY I managed to finish in a pretty OK 4 hours 10 mins. Getting out of the mental finish area was awful as always, and I had to meet up with a couple of people because my personal hell wasn’t ending there. I had signed up to help out on a Rat Race private event for the next two days and needed to get to Richmond to drive up to Cirencester. No boozy celebrations for me! So off I went to work with 300 bankers who were out on a jolly for 3 days running, cycling and kayaking 165 miles along the Thames. Wednesday came and I had never been happier to see my bed! 

Turns out road running smashed your body up a lot – especially 53 odd miles of it. My back was killing me, my legs hurt. So I did something I am not very good at – I had a bit or a rest. A few days off, runs at the weekend, went to physio. And then, two weeks later, it was time for The Ox Epic.

This is one of my favourite races of the year. Set on the Rushmore Estate in Wiltshire, its a whole weekend of camping and running courtesy of White Star Running. You can choose what race you do. Theres a 10km in the dark, a 10km in the morning, a half marathon and a 50 miler. So what did I choose? I CHOSE THEM ALL. Last year I managed to accidentally win the Epic - this year was a different story. This was a training run for something much bigger.

Once again White Star pulled it out the bag - a beautiful weekend and everything went like clockwork for me and him indoors, despite the fact we had all four dogs on site plus a 9 year old to look after. I managed to keep the same pace for all the races and not feel broken, plus I had a really nice weekend! We ran some laps with the dogs, some without, took out time at the aid stations, walked the hills and ran the flats. All in, we managed to get 76 miles in the bag over the weekend and finished knowing that we could do more. It was a chance to practice fuelling and hydration and catch up with old and new pals. Highly recommended and I will definitely be back next year - perhaps with my eyes on the prize again.

Pretty much everything that I have done in the first part of this year has been pointing towards my one A game race of the year which is happening this weekend (18-19 May). The Climb South West Devon Coast to Coast Ultra. I signed up last year on a whim. It’s 117 miles from the south coast to the north coast of Devon non-stop. This is the furthest I have run without a break, so it really is a huge deal to me to get through it. We’ve been out and about doing a couple of back to back weekend recees to see what the route is like. It’s self nav and we will run a lot of it in the dark. It runs along the Two Moors Way, across Dartmoor and Exmoor, through some horrendous terrain. There are a lot of muddy bridleways, fields and hardly any markings.

Elevation is mental – it literally feels like your going up hill all the time. It’s a really important race for me because it’s one I am not sure I can do. I have a plan A. B. C and D in place but I can’t see myself finishing in under 39 hours. Will I finish at all? Dunno. Stay tuned I guess….

So yeah, a lot has gone on so far this year, and there are some awesome plans in the pipeline for the rest of the year. 

Adventure time! AGAIN! 

I am resurrecting my position as Rat Race Test Pilot for 2019-2020 and doing 4 big recees this year, as well as pretty much all the events.  

June sees me travel to Spain for the Sea to Summit test pilot outing. The highest mountain in mainland Spain is 80km from the coast. Our route connects a start line on a beautiful beach on the Costa Tropical to the summit of Mulhacen (3482m) via a tough 2 day running route, giving 2 marathons back to back and nearly 4000m vertical height gain. No biggie. Plus it’s going to be BOILING and we start at 2am to try and avoid the sun. This is Ben Nevis twice in a day. Fun. 

August sees me trotting off to Malta for The Maltese Falcom. There are 3 islands that make up Malta. This ia a full traverse of the island chain. 3 disciplines. Run across Gozo. Kayak to Comino. Swim from Comino to Malta. Run across Malta. Hot. Historic. Warm sea. An island totally geared up for Endurance sport.  And all in one day. Another world first. 

In September I am off to Scotland to do something I have always dreamt off. A full coast to coast traverse of Scotland on foot. This is a west-coast-to-east-coast outing, n foot, over 6 days. The difference here is that Rat Race have devised a route that encompasses crossings of water and the use of some rivers and lochs, for which we will carry and use pack-rafts. This very unique route means we will hike or run, get to a body of water, use the raft to cross it or traverse it and then carry on by foot. An insane format in a simply stunning setting and incredibly remote area. The route goes from a starting location at Mallaig to finish just north of Inverness. This is the wildest country in the British Isles. We will be vehicle supported for some of the outing; and then self-contained (pack on back) for a significant portion of the rest. Almost 100% off-road. And in September. Be kind, weather! 

October I will return to Scotland for a multi day traverse of the Outer Hebrides. Another dream event. It is around 150 miles from the bottom to top of this rugged island archipelago off the West Coast of Scotland. We will attempt this journey over 6 days. We’ve not quite worked out the logistics on this (have I not learnt anything from Panama??) But I am SO EXCITED TO DO IT! 

In November I am travelling back to Namibia to crew for the Race to the Wreck event. That means I get to see the beauty of the desrt from the crew vehicle with a bit of running, but most importantly, it means I get to encourage, help and inspire people to complete the crossing. I would like to thank Rat Race for constantly believing me and allowing me to do these awesome things. I am one lucky piglet.  

Also here’s a thing – if you fancy joining me on any of these funtime recees then you can – just drop me an email here for more details. 

I am also doing a few other things in between mega adventures to keep up the training and fly the flag for Rat Race and White Star. There’s the Dorset Invader Marathon, the Man Vs Series, the Run Jurassic Series, Ultra Tour of Edinburgh, not to mention my first Threshold event at Race To the King. Basically it’s BUSY. But I am happy. And that’s the most important thing. 

Finally – big announcement – Bad Boy Running are thrilled to have been asked to curate a new section at The National Running Show 2020. We have been given the honour of curating the Ultra Zone – a brand new zone that focuses completely on Ultras. We have our own stage, our own guests and our own talks and panels, We are in charge. We will be announcing out line up in the next month or so but if I were you I would get your tickets NOW because you DO NOT want to miss this. You can get your free ones here using my code AMB18. We have some of the biggest names in Ultra running confirmed and it’s going to be mega. You can register for your free ticket here. Massive thank to Mike for believing in us (and trusting us – he may regret this….)

I’m also going to try and bet better at this blogging thing – I have a lot to write about so not short on material – it’s just the time. Having said that I am happy to write for anyone else that fancies it. Just drop me a line and I will take a look at it. So yeah. That’s it. Whirlwind update done. See you next week. If I survive.

[tessmontyart]

2018 Year In Review

Another year, another review 💕(I actually typed most of this up before 2019 and then got distracted, whoops)

To put things short, 2018 has been AWESOME :D Exhausting and fast, but awesome.

I started it off pretty uncertain how things were going to go, dreading it would be a repeat of 2017′s boring TAFE courses and endless job rejections. But the miracle happened - a 2D animation studio opened up near me, I applied, did an animation test and got the job!

The job was a contract from 1st of April - 21st of December, so I spent the majority of my year going to work to animate characters for a really crazy but hilarious new kids show called Spongo Fuzz and Jalapena, due to air mid 2019 :) 

It was honestly the most fun job I have ever had and I can’t wait for the next project! 🎉 I have never been this exhausted in my life, though. 😅I had already booked a whole bunch of conventions before I got the job, and didn’t want to cancel them so I was working nonstop - Animation during the day and intensive convention prep every night. 

I also had the bright idea of creating a full colour 26 page comic -with a tight deadline - so I was madly working to the point I didn’t even have time for dinner half the time :’) I am sort of happy with the comic, but also kind of wish I never had the idea in the first place. 😅

I tabled at a ton of conventions; Melbourne Supanova, Central Coast ComiCon, Other Worlds Zine Fair, Sydney Supanova, SMASH and Canberra Gamma Con. If next year doesn’t go so well on the job side of things I’m hoping to add a few more conventions to that list - Brisbane Supanova, Oz Comic Con and Animaga to name a few. I’ve already booked Sydney Madman Anime Festival!

2018 was the year my partner and I celebrated our 4th year together, and he never fails to amaze me with his continuous love and support. I was too sick to attend the first day of SMASH, so he set up and ran the whole stall for me while I stayed at home. Same with Sydney Supanova, I was too bogged down in animation work and couldn’t afford to take the Friday off, so he set up and ran the stall for me on Friday, then we ran the stall together on the weekend. He also tended to my every need when I broke my toe, cooked all my meals when I was busy with work and even packaged + posted all my Etsy orders every day because I was always working during post office hours. He listened to all the problems I was having with my stall setup and helped make shelves and decorations to make it look and function better. I was getting stressed because my desk space was too small, BAM he bought me a brand new desk with plenty of storage. I was getting stressed that I had so much on my convention to-do-list and couldn’t keep track of all my project ideas, BAM, he sets up a whiteboard and helps me brainstorm everything so I can keep track of all my thoughts and ideas and what to prioritise for future conventions. I didn’t even ask him to do any of this, he just loves to help me and make me happy and I am forever blissed and happy to be able to spend my life with such a wonderful human! 

(Home made High Tea I made for him on Valentines Day) 

Arsty Highlilghts / accomplishments:

🌸I designed 9 cute Houseki no Kuni acrylic charms which have been doing really well at conventions!

🌸I also drew a cute series of ‘Sleepy Gem’ Houseki no Kuni / Steven Universe holographic prints, which I’m quite proud of 😊

🌸I created my 2nd enamel pin design, which already needed 2 reorders because they were so popular! ;w; I never knew I could make something that so many people love *sob* I’ve already planned to make these into a series! (already designed some deer ones, and thinking of doing foxes next ^_^ )

🌸I also tried getting gold foil prints done for the first time, which was pretty cool! I got the american sizes mixed up though so I might try for the bigger size next time :) (grainy photo cause its a screenshot from a video)

🌸I’ve been taking steps to make my stall look more ‘professional’, and got a really neat wooden sign made for me by my friend as_sweet_as_jasmine!

🌸I’ve started revamping my favourite series of posters - the Eevee Gijinka girls :) I plan to have them all done and ready for 2019s conventions! 

🌸This was the year I got an iPad, so I could do digital art on-the-go. Honestly its helped me so much, and I can’t wait to be able to use it more (sorta didn’t get a chance to touch it while i was working!)

🌸I got Copic Markers for my birthday so I had a whole new medium to play with! These mixed with using a brush pen for inking really make my inktobers pop and I’m eager to draw more with them  :) 

🌸Speaking of Inktober, it was a huge accomplishment for me to put effort into a decent artwork every day this year! Usually theres a few dud ones when I lacked inspiration, but I somehow managed to make it work ;w; So when it came time to printing the books, theres 31 illustrations rather than 25 like the others :) Also the whole rainbow theme idea came from how cool I think it would look flipping through a rainbow book - so I managed to make that happen and couldn’t be happier!

🌸I passed 1000 sales on Etsy!! 😱As well as 1000 followers on instagram! Crazy right??

General 2018 highlights

🌸2018 was the year one of my best friends got married! I made cute little clay wedding cake toppers for her :)

🌸The year Owl City’s 7th album Cinematic came out!! All the tracks are so GOOD and exactly the sound all us hootowls were longing for. Also Be Brave is a tearjerker, in a good way. What an amazing human Abbey is to Adam <3 

🌸The year Spyro Reignited Trilogy came out!! It’s absolutely amazing, and I love every second of it. Every time I play it I just can’t help but stand there looking around at every detail because everything is just so gorgeous *_* And the nostalgia is so real.

🌸Not exactly a highlight but the year Tumblr went NSFW free, and lost hundreds of thousands of users 😂I’m still here though. Got a dumb tradition to keep up ya know.

🌸The year my work had a hilarious Christmas party where we had to dress up as a character from Spongo Fuzz and Jalapena. It was the first time I actually put effort into a cosplay by myself 😂(possibly the last) (wont put a photo up for embarrassing reasons)

🌸the year I broke my toe for the first time xD;; definitely not a highlight but a first! I couldn’t walk for weeks! it sucked!!! T__T

🌸The year my friend successfully funded his kickstarter for his own cartoon ‘Nurry Brothers Adventure World’ :D So proud of him. I’m gonna help him animate!

🌸The year Lano and Woodley reunited with their amazing show ‘Fly’!! I loved it so much I saw it twice :D 

🌸The year I tried doing Halloween for the first time - I bought a bunch of lollies and chocolates and decorations on my letterbox/door to let people know I was participating. I got 2 different groups of people at the door, 5 people all up 😂More than I expected tbh!

🌸I tried Ruby chocolate for the first time! It was ok .. just kinda tasted like berry yoghurt flavoured white chocolate though ;w; 

SO! What’s coming for 2019?

I’m not really sure at the moment, but I have high hopes for Cheeky Little Studios (the animation company I worked for) - so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if any of their next projects get concrete start dates :) I’m not as terrified of the year as I usually am when its just one big question mark. I know I can make decent money through conventions and commissions in the meant time so I’ll just continue doing what I love! 

LAST YEAR I SAID:

“I am crossing my fingers for an animation job I applied for a while ago” - I GOT IT! :D

“I plan to do even more conventions. Hopefully I can get into Oz Comic Con!" - didn’t end up applying because I was busy with the job, but keen to try for 2019 :)

"I’m keen to apply for like Animaga in Melbourne, as well as Madman Anime Fest in Brisbane and Melbourne.” - didn’t end up doing so for the same reason above, but that might change this year :)

“I also want to make a lot more non-fandom things for market stalls, as well as a comic and zines!” - I made the comic, as well as 3 inktober zines and a cute ‘if I fits I sits’ cat zine! As well as a bunch of cute original enamel pin ideas and my whole inktober was original art :D 

“Hopefully I’ll hit 1k followers on fb/ig? :D that will make me feel important lol” - I hit 1k on instagram!! I felt very important xD

“I’m also hoping to go on a holiday this year." - I didn’t, for job reasons ... buuut I’m booked in for a cruise in Italy / Greece this September that I’m extremely excited for!

“PLEASE BE KIND 2018, I’M BEGGING YOU 😱” - You were very very kind to me, 2018. 2019, please follow suit! 

(man this is the 7th year of review I’ve done. Can’t believe I’ve been on tumblr this long 😅)

[2017] [2016] [2015] [2014] [2013] [2012]

[firecakes-art]

Marker Man Misadventures 11

Okay, where am I now? It looks like some kind of dream world. Everything is purple, there are stars and sleepy clouds in the sky and the background music feels as calm as the last world's background music. Speaking of, this one is the biggest offender in terms of the beat count. You thought the 7 measure loop was bad? The following numbers are my best guess as to what the number of beats in each measure are: 2,4,4,2,4,3,4. That is a total of 23 beats over 7 measures. My head is hurting just listening to this song. Please, make it stop.

It's a long way down, so watch your step. The man eating houses are back, so that's fun. On the one horizontally moving platform, you can make it to the right wall using a momentum jump when the platform is moving right. There is a lot of space to move around here, so try and not to get lost.

Sad Cat

A sad cat that roams around being sad. If you touch it, it will meow and scratch you for 10 damage, given that this is world 10.

I actually cannot believe this. I checked every part of this level multiple times over. I think the developers straight up forgot to add a coin here. There is only one coin in this level as far as I know. I have no idea where the two coin exit takes me. Of course the game doesn't let me have the satisfaction of knowing every route in the game, but I guess if the second coin was never programmed in, then it's technically not even a route. How infuriating.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THIS LEVEL. As I just from this one platform to another, all of a sudden a star appears from the top of my screen, smashes down into me, and before I could even process what happened, I died. It killed me instantly. I had to go back and check what in the world happened at that moment. THE ENEMY IS PART OF THE BACKGROUND. PART OF THE BACKGROUND OF HUNDREDS OF OTHER STARS IN THE SKY. It's teaming up with the yellow house and trying to assassinate my progress. Go on. Collect that marker. It's totally not bait. The sound of collecting the marker is also totally not going to take priority over the sound of the star falling completely. Stupid dumb falling star level.

Alright, I feel better now.

Falling Star

These will destroy you. 10 damage per frame, and can seemingly fall from the sky at any time, there is little indication for when one is coming. They are differentiated from the rest of the stars in the background from its frown, and from its occasional blinking. If you hear a stock falling sound effect then that means you better take cover immediately because it's coming to smash your head in. They disappear after a bit.

That's not even the worst part. The worst part is in order to know when they're coming, I have to have the sound on and listen for the falling cue. And that means listening to the horrid background music.

This level is pretty fun to speed run. Just watch out for the stars, as they hang lower to the ground in this one. Go over the holes and enter the hallway where the coin is from the right side to avoid all the spikes.

This one, on the other hand, is not fun to speed run. Almost half of the length of the level involves just running right. Then you have to deal with the mess that is everything above you. Too little to do, followed by too much to do.

One of the stars will happily greet you after you climb up a wall. At this point you have two options. Either run backwards and have a line placed where you will land so you won't take possible fall damage, or quickly draw a line above you so that the star bounces off your head. I'd assume the star would bounce off the line and not kill you. I didn't try it. Just saying, in case you're the one person in the world who has the game and is going through this guide. Oh, that person is me? Great.

Hey it worked. Just thought I'd say that. Okay, moving on.

Raccoons are falling from the sky! The biggest danger is falling enemies. Otherwise, it's a pretty mild level overall. Go left on spawn to get the coin first.

I have a pro tip for myself. The timer that determines when the star disappears continues on pause! This means that you can avoid harm from a star once it jumps out by pausing for about 5 seconds. It will disappear on unpause.

This poor raccoon keeps walking to the right, and the bouncy wall keeps pushing it away. Stop doing that, wall. It's trying to get to work. I was worried that the one exit that is impossible to get to leads to the bonus level, but this one has the exit to the bonus level. It seems like I am able to access every level so far. Maybe that impossible exit goes to a level I already visited. Maybe it doesn't go anywhere! I guess it doesn't matter now.

Bouncy Wall

Even though it looks like this will kill you because it has ridges around all the edges, it's harmless. It's a moving wall that has high restitution. Anything it touches will be bounced away.

I think this is a strong contender for the worst marker man level so far. The majority of the level is simple platforming, and the only enemy type is the spiky wall. The middle section of the level is ridiculous. You have to jump from one moving platform to another moving platform, and the platforms change directions in different frequencies. This means there are times where you can make the jump and there are times where you cannot, and you have to be able to tell the difference, often while the platform to jump to is out of view. The first time this happens is at least systematically manageable, but the second time there is a spiky wall column introduced! That wall has its own movement pattern and can stop marker man from making the jump to the other platform. That specific jump is almost impossible unless you do what I did.

On the stationary platform before the twin moving platforms with the spiky wall in between, pan the camera to the far right until you see the spiky wall. If you place a line just above the ceiling and when the spiky walls are at its highest point, then you can barely get the shape to be sandwiched between the walls and the ceiling, preventing the walls from coming back down for a little while. You have a ten second time frame at this point to make the jump from one moving platform to the other. The last jump in this set is to the stationary platform, which can be blocked yet again by the spiky wall that gets in the way. You have to time your jump so you can land on that safe area before your line disappears, or else you have a good chance of getting hit by the spiky wall that was trapped from earlier. Absolutely insane. Hope that extra life was worth it.

Search. Find. Collect. Dodge. Jump. Exit.

These coins are getting pretty tough to find. However, if you're insane like I am, you can try using the cool shortcut to get the coin instantly. Get on top of the structure you spawn in, and just jump off to the left. You'll have to try to not hit the falling star or miss the platform, and draw something under you so that you won't die from fall damage. It's pretty risky, but it's so much fun. These stars are always inconveniently placed everywhere, and they still scare me when they jump out.

This has been the most difficult world for mapping yet. The platforms are scattered around so there are a ton of paths one can take. I often mess up the scaling of a path when it finally joins with an earlier visited segment. It sucks. Also help me: I'm running out of ideas for level titles.

I can feel my soul draining.

No enemies, and basically no pickups? How many of these levels have even been reviewed? I didn't play this game to appreciate the architecture of the levels. I expect an actual game to be here.

Yep. My soul's gone now.

Beware of the large amount of stars in the beginning segment. Just watch out for stars no matter where you are. Except for this bonus level, of course. Wait, what? Another bonus level? This is the same world, right? Please don't be as bad as the previous bonus level...

I am so relieved. The ending part is slightly tricky because you cannot ramp over the cake because the line you create will just slide off. Just build from the last platform in the air so that the slope is shallow enough not to slip.

Another really annoying level to map out. The middle area has 4 to 5 different layers of platforms, all pretty separate from each other. Just... one more... level... to go.... Get me off this wild ride.

Oh no..... oh noooo..... THERE ARE INVISIBLE WALLS IN THIS LEVEL. THEY ACTUALLY MADE INVISIBLE WALLS A THING. I'M SO SCREWED.

The grey lines indicate invisible walls. As you can imagine, they are SO MUCH HARDER to draw than regular walls because I have to make a ton of checks just to accurately figure out the length of one platform. And that's assuming I can find them. Just imagine a regular player trying to beat this level! First, they have to find the second coin. The only way to find it without blindly jumping to your death is to hold the camera down control while on the moving platform. The coin will be barely visible for a moment. Then they have to get down there to realize that there is an invisible wall in the way. THEN after they figured out that theres a hole in the top that also leads to a spike pit they have to build their way out. Building your way out of that tiny hole is not easy, even if it was all visible.

So how do you build out of the coin hole? You cannot build a line up hugging the wall because it will either fall through the hole or it will be too steep for marker man to not hit the ceiling while climbing up it. You have to build a perfect rectangle. A perfect rectangle is pushed all the way to the left of the hole and has a height that will barely get it touching the ceiling. This makes it so that the rectangle will not move once the line gets built underneath it. A circle is not ideal, but is possible to use as well. There is a huge chance you will accidentally give marker man a power. Honestly, if you have the markers to give marker man a power up, just give it super jump and bounce out of there. Build to the moving platform, minding the invisible ceiling, and escape this monster of a level.

There is a good chance that the next world is the last one. There is also a good chance that this might be the world that breaks me. I have no idea what it has in store, but if this level is any indication then I am in trouble. Wish me luck.

This world is so massive that the developers felt the need to add two bonus levels. Probably. I don't know what they're thinking. I can guess that they were not thinking about how much they enjoy making levels for this game.

[watersuncharted]

february 3, 2019

this semester, can we talk about it?

its only been, say, one month? we’re coming up on week four and stuff has just been straight wild. 

picture this, we get back. you’re excited. you see your friends, rush is starting, you’re planning a party for your best friend, you have a confusing but up & coming relationship. you hang out with your cutest roomies, you have time for meal preps, you have food stocked in your pantry, the weather isnt too horrible and you are ready for just a relaxing semester of personal growth, mental stability, and joy all around. 

fast forward 

classes aren't too bad, you were a morning person, you worked out 

you were joining joshua group, you are reading every other night to keep up

rush consumed your life, somehow you joined an a cappella group and honestly we’re still confused on how that happened

youre thriving, you are having a blast. meeting new people, running events and knowing the ins & outs of everything you've ever wanted. 

and then bid day hits. 

exhaustion, fatigue, the realization creeps up again--no one really needed you there. 

sure, you needed to help plan it. but shit dude, you really weren't needed when he was there pulling strings. your friends were laughing and not even noticing youre standing there in tears five feet to the left. 

you missed them though, thats on you. being busy and all. you go to cabin, you had the time of your life, that is the most college thing ever. im so damn proud. 

then you realize theres more out there for you, people who value you people who care. then you compare.

your friends dont really seem to care. you always knew they dont really get you, you knew yourself as the quiet one you knew yourself you know yourself.

then he stopped trying he stopped caring that damn jawbone and locks of hair and that build really got you when he looked at you with those sleepy eyes and smiled when he gets your texts your heart melts when you realized he blows you off once again.

fast forward

that week you spent time with your father, you learned how to play pool (which, by the way, is dope as hell), you had 3 coffee chats with girls from church, you went on a bad date, you spent a cold day indoors drinking and watching a bad movie with a roomie you need to love more, you were productive during the day and had dinner and split some tea, your dresser broke, you did laundry and cleaned the whole house, had a meeting with your daughter and learned way too much about your father. 

then 

friday.

at this point there were a lot of firsts as the week came to a close. first performance, first time really going a week not answering, first time really diving deep with people you barely knew. 

the sun sets and your first performance is over. somehow, out of the blue, you decide you want to go out, but no one else wants to. you end up at lion, you and the pair. then, you host at apt 1, and youre actually feeling it. that night was so. damn. fun. 

you got closer with the man of the hour, you got lifted to heights unknown and you let your guard down as soon as you went home.

you go for a drive. you hear hard words, but you know its what you both were thinking. you drive more, you walk around, you are cold, sad, tired, dehydrated, and ready to go home. that was probably the most movie, college, relationship shit you've ever done.

you go to bed, so happy. you talk to your mother overseas and are elated. 

you wake up, more coffee. you waste 2-3 hours in the union alone. cant even say that that comes with self reflection. more lunch, then bif. your squad rolls up--damn they want to hang when you asked! then randomly, a wholesome sushi dinner. how cute :) 

leads to long conversations and realizations that no one is listening to you. you retreat, ending up at his. 

eye opening, very very very eye opening, to say the least. you help your father, you're open with the blonde pair. 

you solemnly go home, defeated but not saddened. 

you wasted more time alone, you wasted more time with people. you lay, falling asleep in your jeans. too tired too change, too tired for life, too tired to deal with the rollercoaster of the day. 

naturally, you wake up late. mallu uber driver, third wheeling church. of course the ex is there, good portrayal of friendship, huh. you go home. you go to studies with the blonde pair and its a good time. you feel valued. 

the feeling is fleeting. potbelly, being shunned at the game, the throat closes up. the walk home is brutal. the drawers fall through. 

bif, you get shit on. he walks in. your heart stops and eyes close.

you tell them, you get shit on. 

you 

get

ragged.

you feel it, it stings and burns. he comes over, they say nothing. they all leave. 

what did you do wrong? 

~~~

maybe all this prayer and talk about growing closer to him is causing you to want to and feel like you should pull away. buckle down, build those walls up again? let no one in, let yourself melt and let him mold. maybe hes allowing them to be this way in order for you to be able to feel that he really is the only one. 

maybe youre too needy and talk too much, maybe youre just meant to go through the season: know your worth and work on yourself. solidify your identity and breathe out new life. maybe this semester you work on you. you work on building yourself up.

maybe you find your own passions and be your own person. i am so proud of you for meeting new people, stepping out of your damn comfort zone, tearing your walls down but also ensuring you are trying to build your roots. taking time for yourself and those you care about. 

dont lose yourself in the new stuff, dont forget where you came from. 

they may be like this, but it could all be for a certain purpose. just dont lose everyone. 

im kind of torn about it, and what to do about them. but i leave it up to you and your will. 

teach me to grow in intimacy, teach me to grow closer to you, teach me how to be a better friend. 

make me close to who you want me to be close to. give me the experiences you want me to have. let me not lose sight of the dreams you've instilled in me and the love you showered on me and the weight of your words, your name, and the cross.

xx

[amazingviralinfo]

Beyoncs new tour finds her at the height of her artistic powers. What makes her sound, her dance moves, her image and her feminism so distinctive?

The sound: It sounds like a push to dominate all of pop

Of late, some music writers have got into the habit of referring to Beyonc as Queen Bey. It doesnt exactly imply a great deal of critical distance, but you can see why the nickname has stuck. It is hard to think of a recent album that feels more commanding and imperious than Lemonade, not just in its lyrics where defiant woman-scorned wrath meets righteous social anger but in its music. It sounds not like an R&B record, but a push to dominate all of pop. Country, alt-rock, left-field electronics, hoary Jack White blues-rock? I can do the lot. That seems to be one of its messages.

So pervasive is the Queen Bey persona that it is easy to forget that there was a time when Beyonc didnt seem to know what she wanted to be, at least musically. Her solo career never faltered commercially she continued the run of peerless pop hits that had begun with Destiny Childs No No No as if the groups dissolution were a mere formality, as if she had been the only thing that mattered about them all along but she also gave the impression of being torn between a career as an R&B diva and the desire to be an MOR entertainer.

Many of the best tracks on her first two solo albums tended to point up her voices similarity to R&B singers of the 60s and 70s the raw drums and see-sawing organ of Freakum Dress, the funk-rock of Suga Mama, Crazy in Loves blaring Chi-Lites horns but they were surrounded by stuff that erred on the sickly side of perfect, as if she were quietly investing in a future that might have more to do with cabaret than clubs.

Beyonc at the BET awards in Los Angeles. Photograph: Kevin Winter/Getty Images for BET

The sense of an artist being pulled uncomfortably in two opposing directions reached its peak with 2008s wildly uneven I Am Sasha Fierce: one disc full of self-help-motto power ballads and tracks that sounded as if they were following trends (Halo was audibly made in the image of Rihannas Umbrella), and another that suggested, for the first time, a willingness to experiment the percussion battery and oddly doomy minor chords of Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It), Video Phones minimal fusion of crunk rhythms, sampled groans, and needling synthesisers.

I Am Sasha Fierce sold 8m copies, but its follow-up suggested a rethink or at least a focusing of her approach. Made after she had severed ties with her manager and executive producer father, 4 built on its predecessors more experimental aspects, and introduced the I-can-do-anything musical expansiveness that you hear on Lemonade. There were influences drawn from Afrobeat, dancehall and alt-rock; thrown together with Kanye West collaborator Jeff Bhasker, the Sleepy Jacksons Luke Steele contributed the psychedelicised Philly soul of Rather Die Young.

Destinys Child had largelyshied away from the kind of ultra-futuristic R&B sound big in the late 90s and early noughties their singles were always about the chorus rather than the novelty of the production but, just at the point when the charts were awash with R&B stars making tinny pop-house tracks, Beyonce released Run the World (Girls), based on Major Lazers Pon De Floor, a battery of drums, dancehall rhythms and squealing noise. It was refined on Beyonc, the album on which she finally abandoned the last vestiges of conservatism. The sound was rooted in hip-hop, but dragged everything from chillwave to the Aphex Twins abstract electronica to doo-wop into its orbit. It was filled with tracks that stopped abruptly, as though she was impatient to move on to the next idea. There were songs that sounded like suites (Haunted, Partition), even, on No Angel, an audibly off-key vocal allowed out into the world.

A gushing profile in Vogue found her joking that she might take on jazz or even country next time. As it turned out, she wasnt joking. Alexis Petridis

The dance icon: She and her troupe move as one unit a drill team, an army

Beyonc performs at the Super Bowl in 2016. Photograph: Thearon W Henderson/Getty Images

Beyoncs music, style and message make her an untouchable ruler at the top of the pop-culture pyramid. Her dancing, however, is what makes her feel reachable.

We have watched Beyonc grow from seductive showpiece to sexually empowered woman. She has graduated from the male-gaze booty-shaking of Crazy in Love to the unapologetic, hard-hitting struts of Formation. Sure, all the action still happens in her pelvis and chest, but the execution is different, with a sway back, upturned chin and heavier step. Something about it says: This dancing is for me and no one else. Not for your eyes; not for Jay Zs.

Notice that Beyonc is rarely without her all-female squad of dancers, and that she doesnt usually deviate from their choreography. That is completely deliberate, because Beyonc can certainly carry a stage alone. Instead, she and her troupe move as one unit a drill team, an army in the name of black pride and girl power. Allow your eyes to blur and it is as if Beyonc is multiplying, until 50 of her are swarming the stage.

More from the Super Bowl show. Photograph: Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

Refocus your vision and she is just one woman among meticulously organised rows of dancers. She might be the point of a pyramid or centre of an X, but she is always standing with them. It helps convey the idea that Beyonc is your spokeswoman; that she is in this with you, fighting the same fight. That no matter how rich and powerful she is, she is a girls girl, the Everywoman. That she walks, spins, and grinds like each dancer behind her. Because what anchors Beyonces persona once a shiny display, and now a little more vulnerable isnt the dancing itself, but the staging. She does not underestimate the simple and persuasive power of movement in unison.

That is not to say that the actual movement that Beyonc and her team puts out is particularly inventive (though they have certainly come up with some great hairography). While Beyonc has become more radical in message, she has actually toned down the creativity of her dancing since the days of the Bob Fosse-inspired Single Ladies video. Formations punchy isolations, booty-bouncing and chest-popping are evenly set with the beat and the melody, with knees twisting in and out. At its most basic, its a heightened, polished version of something you would do in the privacy of your own living room, music blasting, two glasses of wine in a feel-good romp. Its another way to connect with her fans. For modern-day Bey, dance is no longer a main event; its there to serve her highness. And sometimes, that is all dance is supposed to do. Kristin Schwab

The brand: She doesnt release albums; she creates cultural events

Beyonc and Jay Z at the Met Gala in New York. Photograph: Mike Coppola/Getty Images

Theres the A-list, and then theres Queen Bey. Beyonc has risen to a rare level of fame where she has surpassed mere celebrity and become an archetype of achievement. When she dropped Lemonade, the world dropped everything to listen Beyonc doesnt release albums; she creates cultural events.

Beyonc has been famous for almost 20 years, but, it is only in the last eight that she has gone from phenomenal to phenomenon. This is no accident, but the result of strategic brand-building learned from Madonna and Apple.

Her metamorphosis into a brand can be seen in three key milestones. First, she married Jay Z. Then she killed Sasha Fierce. Finally, she fired her father. Strategic partnerships can be a highly effective way to build a brand and, leaving romance aside, Beyoncs 2007 marriage to Jay-Z was as strategic as you can get. Both benefited from the merger I mean marriage, gaining new fans and elevating their respective statuses.

When Beyonc married Jay Z, she was going through a period of transition. You can see this play out in the character of Sasha Fierce, an alter-ego that let Beyonc experiment with a more risqu sexual persona while maintaining her traditionally wholesome image. The 2008 album I Am Sasha Fierce reflected this tension. One side had more mainstream songs for new fans, the other was aimed more at old fans.

The I Am Sasha Fierce album cover

In 2010, she announced she didnt need to separate her persona from that of Sasha Fierce any more. Killing off Fierce signalled a Beyonc newly confident in what she stood for. This was reinforced shortly after, when Beyonc made arguably her most important move ever: she dropped her father as manager and seized control of her brand. When I decided to manage myself, it was important to me not to sign to some big company, she said. I wanted to follow in Madonnas footsteps and be a powerhouse.

Part of becoming and staying a powerhouse was exerting painstaking, Apple-like control over her brand. Its a mistake to call Beyoncs notorious attention to her image diva behaviour; its businesswoman behaviour. Beyonc understood that she couldnt let Beyonc-the-person encroach on Beyonc-the-brand. So she stopped saying much, and rarely gave interviews. In 2013, she made waves by appearing on the cover of the September issue of Vogue without deigning to give the customary interview that went with it. Her silence made her voice even more powerful, and reinforced the mythology she was creating.

A couple of months later, Beyonc really dropped the mic when she launched her fifth album, eponymously titled Beyonc, unexpectedly on iTunes. The launch broke all the conventions of music marketing and announced to the world that she only played by her own rules. The next year, she was on the cover of Time for their most influential people issue.

Today, Beyonc is more influential than ever. She has become a voice for feminism and civil rights. While this move to the left may seem to run the risk of being polarising, remember that her timing has always been flawless. She understands exactly when she can activate activism for her own benefit. Further, the sign of a strong brand is that it can evolve with culture, and weather the occasional controversy. The strength of Beyoncs brand is such that, at the moment, it seeems she can do no wrong. After all, to err is human but Beyonc is divine. Arwa Mahdawi

The feminist: She calls out to the masses to rise up

The Lemonade album cover

Its all Maya Angelou in those now iconic first 15 seconds of Beyoncs visual album masterpiece Lemonade. As the most famous pop star on the planet, golden cornrow coiffed, and supine on the back of a sports utility vehicle, comes up off the back of her ride in haunting slow motion, the spirit of legend Angelous classic 1978 poem And Still I Rise pulsates like an undercurrent: You may write me down in history/With your bitter, twisted lies/You may trod me in the very dirt/But still, like dust, Ill rise. Our heroine has taken Angelous words (that many a black girl has memorised) to heart, turning the wisdom of her lyric anthem into a long-form visual and sonic meditation. The result is a feminist breakthrough in the world of stadium pop. It is 18 million cracks in pop music cultures glass ceiling delivered by a sister wielding a baseball bat in a marigold sundress.

One of the biggest pop-culture events of the year so far, Lemonade has nonetheless weathered some high-profile handwringing from feminist scholars such as bell hooks, a notorious Beyonc hater, who conceded that the albums visual imagery shifts the gaze of white mainstream culture challeng[ing] us all to look anew, to radically revision how we see the black female body while nevertheless continuing to warn of her oppressive ties to capitalism and patriarchy. These sorts of concerns about Beyoncs brand of feminism are nothing new.

Beyonc at the Super Bowl in 2013. Photograph: Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

If you are a woman whose independence depends on making money, as Yonc and her fellow children of destiny would sing about in the year 2000, can you ever really be free of the systems that have historically oppressed women and people of colour? If, in your celebration of the single life, you are still chastising your ex for not having sealed a commitment with a rock, are you more of a material girl than empowered woman warrior?

The ambivalences in Beyoncs pre-Lemonade musical repertoire have led some, such as critic Andi Zeisler in her razor-sharp new book We Were Feminists Once, to characterise the superstars relationship to the F-word as a form of marketplace feminism, a mainstream, celebrity, consumer embrace of feminism that positions it as a cool, fun, accessible identity that anyone can adopt But Zeisler is also quick to point out that we need not hate the player, but rather the game in which our reigning queen of pop is ensnared.

The difference that Lemonade makes in Beyoncs career-long, increasingly sophisticated engagement with feminist politics is that it is an album that ambitiously aims to address the game of large-scale, deeply entwined racial and gender oppression, even as it foregrounds a tale of intimate deception and duplicity. True, this is still the Bey weve come to know who extols the virtues of revenge by way of paper, when many a feminist longs to hear her say instead that best revenge is dismantling patriarchy in all facets of modern life. But Lemonade is ultimately an album that moves well beyond a focus on being black Bill Gates in the making.

Just when a series of pop starlets from Taylor Swift to Emma Watson and Chlo Grace Moretz were willing to embrace a kind of feminism that oversimplifies its meaning, that thinks in limited and sometimes twisted ways about girl squads, making womens equality welcoming for men, and gender neutrality, along comes Bey with a new album that demands that we think about feminism as a sophisticated and multilayered practice rather than a slogan. The album encourages black women, in particular, to examine the wholeness of their beings and the complexities of their identities.

Beyonc and her team of artistic collaborators turned what had been an initial embrace of feminism into an epic sonic event. It demands that mainstream popular culture reckon with the conditions of being a modern black woman in ways never before seen and felt.

Beyonc and Coldplays Chris Martin at the 2016 Super Bowl show. Photograph: Kevin Mazur/WireImage

For the first time, a superstar black female musician aligned herself with intersecting racial and gender freedom struggles by way of a concept album, as well as the Super Bowl halftime routine watched the world over.

Most would be hard-pressed to recall the last time a black female pop star had enough cultural capital and sheer recording industry power to boldly weave together critiques of racial and gender inequality into a full-length recording. The go-to reference for many is still Atlantic Records-era Aretha, crowned the iconic foremother of the feminist pop anthem. Others might cite the audacity of Lauryn Hills ferociously introspective narratives of self-discovery and personal redemption, the biting lyricism and sophisticated instrumentation of Meshell Ndegeocellos or Erykah Badus finest releases, or the recent Afrofuturist liberation odysseys of Janelle Mone. But none of these artists, not even the Queen of Soul, have commanded the kind of multimedia global platform that fourth-wave Bey has been able to seize upon in this rapidly changing digital age.

And so enter Yonc with her Run-the-World army of women: an all-female dance troupe, backup singers, her celebrated Suga Mama band, and her pathbreaking alliances with diasporic black feminist intellectuals such as Warsan Shire and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. At the height of her artistic powers and political vision, she calls out to the masses to rise up, Angelou-style, and ride with her as she sits behind the wheel of a Hold Up video demolition monster truck, driving pop culture forwards and into the future with no turning back. Daphne Brooks

The celebrity: Even sneezing on stage gets her coverage

Beyonc on tour in Houston, Texas. Photograph: Larry Busacca/PW/WireImage

Pop superstars fall into two camps: the boy or girl next door, or the character who would buy the house next door, evict the family and erect a neon and diamant castle in their own honour. Britney, Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift would have you believe they would pop round for a cup of sugar; Kanye, Gaga and Madonna appeal because you know they would send in the JCBs. Fans engage with all those artists with a similar intensity, but we attach ourselves to the humanity of some and the audacity of others.

Most artists stay in one lane, but during her two-decade career, Beyonc has deftly segued from sugar (early interviews show an artist with little to say maybe, we might now speculate, she simply wasnt being asked the right questions) to steamrollers: Aprils Lemonade addressed, owned and even exacerbated rumours surrounding her marriage to Jay Z in the pop equivalent of a controlled explosion, by an artist now able to unleash, control and manipulate her own celebrity on her own terms.

Tech companies pivot when their original proposition goes wrong: Beyonc did it when things were going right or, at least, before diminishing returns set in. And she did so while achieving critical and commercial success.

The shift in Beyoncs celebrity status didnt happen overnight. Her relationship with Jay Z created a celebrity whole far exceeding the sum of its parts, while the aggressive sound and styling around Run the World (Girls) put a hard edge on the broad-stroke feminism of early Destinys Child tracks. But 2013s surprise album really saw Beyonc take control. The power of instant releases shouldnt be underestimated: by stripping critics of any meaningful role in an albums release, Beyonc and others have allowed for a frictionless exchange of celebrity energy between fan and artist.

Jay Z and Beyonc in San Francisco in 2014. Photograph: Mason Poole/Invision for Parkwood Entertainment

Six months later, Beyonc topped the Forbes celebrity power list, based on mentions in print, radio, TV and online, for the first time since her initial appearance on the list a decade earlier. This reflects shifting, click-driven priorities of the global news agenda, but Google Trends echoed Beyoncs role in that shift: before 2013 there were clumps of interest around album campaigns, but in December 2013 Beyonc began prompting huge peaks in interest that wildly outstripped any that came before.

As her politically charged Super Bowl performance earlier this year showed us, Beyonc understands tentpole moments, but she also understands the smaller details, the pegs without which tentpoles wouldnt hold up. She knew this early on. Consider Question! in Independent Women, Pt 1 or I aint gonna diss you on the internet when the world was still on dial-up lyrical proto-memes that now seem like Beyonc staking her claim on the modern world of social-driven celebrity culture.

Fast-forward to 2016 and Becky With the Good Hair the woman rumoured to have been a third party in the Beyonc-Jay Z marriage is a celebrity in her own right, while restaurant chain Red Lobster reported a 33% boost in sales after being namechecked in Formation as the ideal location for a crustacean-themed post-coital lap of honour. If that is interesting in itself, interesting, too, is how widely that news was reported. But this is an era when Beyonc sneezing on stage can guarantee coverage from Time, Vanity Fair, Mail Online and the Hereford Times. That, as much as anything else, defines the meaning of celebrity in 2016. Peter Robinson