#but i am the only one who can save me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hel7l7 · 1 year

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No one is going to save me. No one can save me. No body will come to save me. Nobody is going to save me. Nobody cares ( not true ) Why can't it be simple? I often don't want to save myself.

#sometimes i hate being responsible for myself #but i am the only one who can save me #vent art #venting #tw #bpd #actually bpd

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icewindandboringhorror · 24 days

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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?

*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)

*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)

(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )

(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)

#polls #tumblr polls #I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup #the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli #section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff #so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just #blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most #neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol #I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me #but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T #I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee #person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times #But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol #And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly #When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one #sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it #Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something #Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and #coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single #coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to #have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus #make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as #possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get #to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol

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moon13dreams · 1 month

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SVSSS Magical Pokemon Journey AU (kinda), just hear me out here

Okay, so Luo Binghe where he's constantly stalking hanging out with Shen Yuan/Shen Qingqiu as his friend/apprentice/whatever makes sense for how big you make the age gap here. In any case, he is always looking for ways to court his oblivious beloved to no avail. Just what about a rose trail leading to a candlelit picnic is helpful for luring a luminescent 1000 horned leopard stag?? That food was for Yuan-ge!!!

Liu Qingge is always foiling Luo Binghe's plans. How? Idk, have some fun here, but Luo Binghe is for sure not having fun lol

Shen Yuan is as oblivious as ever, committed to completing his pokedex bestiary with his two favorite people. Luo Binghe is such a sweet bun! So considerate to try and help him research such dangerous beasts! So brave of him! And look at Liu Qingge being so helpful, but could he stop killing the beasts?? We're researching them, not hunting them!! And lay off his little white lotus, he's harmless!

Then there's Shang Qinghua in the background watching this shit-show just munching on melon seeds because he's so done trying to state the obvious. What would he know about romance? Everything is totally "platonic" here... Whatever you say Cucumber-bro... (≖_≖ )

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ganondoodle · 20 days

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so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-

but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again

(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)

i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)

weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward

but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.

right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #ganondoodles rants #sorta #suicide attempt mention in the IRL stuff im talking about in the following tags btw #theres some construction stuff on our house going on #and my father is extremely stressed about it #he used to be very explosive- being silent and then exploding out of nowhere .. probably left me with lasting damage yippie-#but now he much more lets it eat at himself bc hes old and feels bad for the past stuff so now it makes him irritated and depressed #my older brother is the most normal cis straight guy you can imagine and incredibly impatient and bossy (you CANNOT talk with him)#(brother doesnt live in our house)#and while hes helping out hes doing it exactly how my father doesnt like and since you cant talk to the guy (explosive +200) it stresses hi #to the point of my father yesterday saying that “it would have been better if i had just died back in the day”#likely referring to the time when he was drafted for the military against his will and tried to kill himself #which i learned only like .. a year ago- theres so little my parents tell me ....#its like my mother telling me- while my father was in hospital for heart surgery- that she not only almost died back when i was a young tee #and only survived bc of some incredibly unebelievable lucky coincidences (medics on a travel being there that knew what she had-#-while our local doctors said welp- nothing we can do lady AND them beign there with a helicopter and emergency transferring her #to antoher bigger hospital while giving her immediate treatment our local one didnt do- AND at the big one just so happened to have-#-an expert on that illness in the facility when she arrived who was able to narrrowly save her life #BUT ALSO while she was recovering and weak and frail as a dust bunny witnessing someone stealing hospital surplies-#not noticing she was in the room at first (which .. the nurses left her in the nurse room while going on break ... which uhm .. yeah cool)#and if my mother hadnt acted in time like she was fully asleep and the lady stealing stuff beign in hurry- she might have killed her #without my mother being able to fight back bc she could barely even talk (the nurses didnt want to believe her when they got back either)#ANYWAY that comment from my father brough me to tears #and my mom is trying out more ... other medication shes not prescribed in hopes of it helping agaisnt her many pains #but i worry it will interact with the other stuff shes on ...#and i worry so much about both of their mental and physical well being #always trying to be the one to calm them down or help with communication bc that is a big problem in this houesehold #but i myself am also a very much not normal and not medicated shut in who has trouble dealing even with my own feelings

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faaun · 9 months

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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

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bandtrees · 2 months

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i feel like it’s really easy for people to get the impression with my fua stuff that lancaster is my Favorite Character™️ and i do certainly love and think about him a lot and find him the easiest to make stuff for that Appeals To Me because LOOK AT HIM, but the character who is my genuine favorite that i find a lot of comfort in and adore so much that it loops back around to being unable to articulate anything about them is actually love. I cannot express how much i love her.

#babbles #find us alive #dr Lancaster #agent love #lancaster is the guy i like to poke with tweezers. love is my beating heart and soul #as you can predict im really normal about their friendship too and it’s my fav in the show…#i kind of imagine them with a queerplatonic sort of bond if only because i imagine their relationship is a really unique one among the 14bs #lanc getting love into therapy. love being the one there when lanc got -3’d.#love being the one who wanted to still see him. love being the one to knock sense into him. lanc overseeing her in her coma.#lanc helping her regain her cognition. supporting her through her disability her supporting him through his containment #they even underwent horrific invasive medical procedures at the same time…#i think save for raddagher obviously lancaster is the one of the cast love is closest with #i will never be over ‘youv seen me at my worst and it’s all uphill from here’/‘youv seen me at my worst and stay anyway’ type dynamics #NOT A SHIP POST!!!! THEY ARE BOTH GAY!!!!!!!! I AM MUSHING THE GUYS WHO INFECT MY BRAIN TOGETHER!!!!!!!#i neeeeeeeed to draw emo art of them so hard.

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atopvisenyashill · 5 days

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do love how this is an asoiaf blog but i did not put either show in my top 10 this is the world we live in

#the only season that really compares to the book is season 1.#the rest even when they’re engaging have changed something that feels so central to the hook that i’m mad aksjd.#getting on my soap box #if iwtv s3 is good it may knock someone out. probably qaf.#bsg is p high up there i just think season 4 really suffered on pacing & the suspicious nature of who dies annoyed me.#veep is also very high up there tbh i need to rewatch it. the thing is. as we know. i am a romantic at heart and amy & jonah have my favorit #sitcom relationship. veep has genuinely one of the best finales to ever exist but i’m a sap.#and amy coming back to tell jonah that he made her realize she doesn’t actually have to expect the worst from life. oh my god.#also superstore >>> parks & rec >>> the office bc superstore never romanticized the hell of their job #amy quitting her corporate job when she realized she would never be able to make the changes she wanted within the system she was always #going to compromise too much and wind up like jeff. glenn reopening his dad’s hardware shop & specifically who goes w him & who stays w gina #at the store? it has what the other two lack which is characters that feel like they keep existing after you stop watching #BECAUSE the way they interacted with the world was so real and so much more realistic. amy can’t fix the system but she can find a job that #she doesn’t feel is so soul sucking. glenn may be choosing a harder path by reopening the hardware store but it’s the one that makes him #most fulfilled. gina just gets to make money and be bossy w people who do what they’re told. that rings so true to me.#i almost out bojack horseman in here too actually but once again i think the last season just needed to be a tad longer just like bsg.#also same issue w pitch as w bly manor - it’s an amazingly written season of tv but it’s ONE season of tv #big brother as always outsells yes i am hoping to tempt some of u into watching by posting dan & ian in the dog costume #i have that gif and the ‘sit’ scene saved on my phone always

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imminent-danger-came · 2 months

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My new hobby is skimming through seasons of Ninj//ago to induce a fever dream like state in my psychese

#I've always had kinda like....petty beef with ninj//ago just cause like. EVERYONE compares it to monkie kid #When they r just not comparable beyond the surface level observation that its legos #Like ninj//ago contributes to the idea of an Asian monolith and uh. It's annoying to me.#It's also so thematically empty and they just reset shit whenever and it barely has characters. It's not good #Which makes me feel crazy when lmk is SO good. Like so so so good #Let it be known I've seen all that's out of drag//on rising #the first 3 seasons of the og show. And I skimmed through possession seabound and both crystal king parts #Gotta say. Sea Nya slaps like what the hell #Ninj//ago isn't good but that was legitimately like. Awesome #So there are officially 1 and a half episodes that I find thematically banging #I'm always a sucker for there being no good choice but still having to choose. Like I am. What decision can you live with #But Nya losing herself to the Sea? Losing her own breath and inhaling the sea to remove the water out of Jay's lungs?#The fact that she only became the water ninja because her friends needed her which eventually pushed her into this fate #Making it so she couldn't remember who she was or what her loved ones meant to her?#Her convo with nyad was like #duuddeeeeeeeeeee. brooooooo #Like she became eternal and endless. A force of nature but there was still a small part of her that remembered what ''good'' is #The part of her that would save a sailor who had gone overboard even if it went against the natural course of the ocean #Because there is no right or wrong there. Except in the small drop of Nya that was left #Like what the FUCK that's CRAZYYY BRO #Like she literally had to pull herself out of herself (the sea) to keep ''Nya'' together like. oh my god. How the cookie crumbles I guess #ninjago critical #anyways I've been losing my mind about Sea Nya and how nothing else in ninja//go is like it I needed to get it off my chest #sea nya

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moe-broey · 2 months

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Pen tests....

#i had a bit of a crisis when i realized my signature 01 prismacolor finepoint In Blue is. on its last legs it seems.#that alone wouldn't be so bad IF THEY WEREN'T IMPOSSIBLE??? TO FIND????? LIKE ANYWHERE?????? GOT SO SCARED AND UPSET ABOUT IT #i went on a whole ass journey about it. my sister came in clutch to save me. also gave me a few dif options to try!#and the smallest prisma in blue i could find was 03. insane. is this my fault somehow. did i use up the last ones on earth.....#LIKE. cannot stress enough how much Blue Ink is important to me. i have never been able to make solid black ink Work in my art.#LIKE... only exceptions being a black and white piece. but as soon as i add color it just does NOT work...#it is. such a specific thing. that combined w the fact that i purposely Have to draw small scale or i get lost in the sauce forever #i really am. the epitome of new type of guy just dropped. guy who only inks in blue and needs to draw as small as humanly possible.#i feel like with time i can get used to the 03s though!!! and i have. multiple of them. all the blue 03s in the world are MINE now 😤#hopefully. this will last me a lifetime.#moe tag #thank you moe for being a very easy model to work with. unlike Somebody Else who has Stupid Hair....#my art

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dawnthefluffyduck · 2 months

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Sunday doodles

#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed #i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god #i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it #anyway they talked about fearing god in service today #the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time #like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental #''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think #i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell #i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church #or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go #I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot #it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God #but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him #I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer #if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha #damn right that god is scary lol #not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao #doodles #sunday doodles #depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again #dw im chilling today just lost in thought #was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about #things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''

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britneyshakespeare · 2 months

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you know someday i'm gonna feel so good when i have my student loans paid off

that ain't gonna be soon, trust me, but i think about it

#i've been saving so much for it that i paid off over like $2k in the last 2 or 3 months #it's just thinking about how the amount of interest goes off that drives me literally crazy #and my monthly amount i owe is like just under $120 #which to some people as a regular bill is more manageable than others. but as i have an irregular income #as a substitute teacher it's something that gives me a LOT of stress.#which is another reason i've been overpaying. in case something happens/i can't get a lot of work #it defers the next due date.#that way it's not urgent but yet i still *feel* it all the time #debt is a crazy kind of thing #and to think that my loans are from COMMUNITY college. two years. publicly owned #when i start taking classes again soon. i currently have enough saved that if i take like ONE class #i can pay out of pocket. and i think im only gonna take one class to start anyway #which will also help with the deferred payments #see i just fucking hate having to think practically about money like this #tales from diana #idk how ppl leave high school and go straight to live in a dorm room at a private university for four straight years #and rack up tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.#first of all that lifestyle was not accessible for me to begin with. even when paying it was such an abstract put-it-off thought #as it is for so many 18-year-olds who are told not to worry about where they apply.#but i had under $12k to repay when the student loan debt was unfrozen last fall #and it's been weighing on me soooo heavily since then. i think about it every damn day #it's like the money i make isn't even mine. it goes straight to mohela and food #keep in mind i also live w my parents & am on their health insurance so someday there'll be moooore bills!!!!

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uncanny-tranny · 10 months

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Crochet update: guess who has two thumbs and went through a skein he just bought in three hours and still isn't finished yet (totally not me)

#crochet #art #fiber art #this isn't even for my hoodie this is my filler project while i wait for my hoodie yarn to come back in stock #i thought i lost my crochet hook for a minute and almost died 😨#this L/11 hook is being loved so much like. it's actually the only hook i've used besides the I/9 one i practiced with #there are only 2.75mm difference in their sized (5.25 vs 8.00) but WOW you can really feel the difference #this filler project is the cat blanket so why did my cat decide to lay NEXT TO THE BLANKET instead of on it 😭#also the 'guess who has two thumbs and...' saying is just so funny to me #like. why do you need to specify you have two thumbs. what makes you special FOR having two thumbs #alright i'm going back to crocheting my hoodie because i still have one (1) skein right now that i was saving #if they don't have the colour i guess i'll just have to order it (i don't wanna)#actually i'm making up a swatch of different stitches to show my dad because i want to show him visually when i talk about crochet #and THEN i'll get back to my project #actually nvm i hate acrylic yarn i am SO MAD (it's not cooperating with me lmao)

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quietwingsinthesky · 7 months

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there’s a progression in there, somewhere, of even going from ‘the master might kill me any day now :(‘ to ‘the master is going to kill me :) she’s not going to let someone else do it after all this time’

#i wouldn’t call it hubris exactly. more like this pretty secure surity that that’s how they’re going to die.#and to them that makes sense. they chose this. they keep choosing it after the doctor offers them a way out.#because this is. they understand this. and they feel safe in the reprieve before their death.#how do you control death? choose who kills you. the last defense of a prey animal.#something something dark mirror to clara’s ‘i am owed’ speech for even is if this ever. doesn’t work out the way they thought it would.#clara tried to threaten the doctor so that he’d reverse death for her. even would turn on the master if she tried to spare them.#i am owed better. i am owed the death you promised… i am owed the knowledge that you don’t care enough to save me… you know. something like #that.#even is. kind of. meant to mirror the doctor’s companions at the time. they are a martha who can’t leave him. they are a donna who has to #remember and never speak about everything they know. they are clara if during deep breath clara reached back and truly didn’t expect. truly #hoped. that no one would take her hand. because if they can be certain it will happen they can know never to reach again.#jesus christ. go to therapy boy. you have so many trust issues.#but that’s why they’re Like That with the master because at the end of the day. who is easier to rely on? the guy who comes in to put out #fires but only sometimes. or the guy who. really really fucking likes starting fires.#better to get burned hoping someone is coming or get burned knowing that’s what would happen. and even. chooses the latter.#AND ALL OF THIS. for me to say thats why i cant actually let the master ever kill them.#i think she needs to do something worse to even. i think she needs to abandon them.#and that will either set them free to go have healthy normal relationships or. lets be honest much more likely. completely fucking break #them. which would be fun :) for me.#dw oc

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pleasedontcareaboutme · 26 days

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The urge to spend a 100$ on merch before getting my paycheck is so strong. I might not survive soldiers

#Priorities! Next month no food challenge #At least I can eat my vinyls and CDs 🥰#Man fr I could starve but if Id have some albums #Id be happy #eating my own organs and shit #Okay yes I officially lost it but!#ahiajwineidn the voices #I want to spend money #🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛#Tbh i only eat cheap ass bread anyways so maybe we can do it 👻#me tryna convince myself this would be a good idea and i wouldn't die #Mnaiaisns9jwkq but it's motivation? to keep working right?#....... IM ABT TO ORDER STUFF #IDEK WHAT. BUT. THE. VOICES.#like im soo thinking abt buying the mortal vinyl or atsushis vinyll CUZ THEY LOOK SO GOOD.#I DONT HAVE A MF LP PLAYER BUT IMMA BUY ONE AS WELL #aaaaaaaaa🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠#HM. HmmMM. i can get an LP player on facebook market place rightttt that wont be expensive righttttt #oh to not have to pay 30$ for. shipping would be so good #Ahhhhhhhhh. 😾#Gimme money #Actually I don't even have the money! idek how much am i gonna get paid! but im just thinking abt ordering stuff and hoping ill have enough #insanity is my middle name tbh #also i hate how i literally. dont keep track of my money and i always act on impulse 😭#like man idc how much u pay me i see i have enough imma spend it all #but i should save up to finally move my mf ass away from this great environment i live in #but dang is it hard next to school #getting paid less than minimum wage as a student lowkey. is not fun #But idk what to do cuz i cant skip school to work 😭 so this is shit #n e ways goodnight ily who reads my 3556th diary entry

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jonathanarcher · 5 months

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Guys the xfiles is good. I didn’t remember the first season being good but it is.

#dana scully I am in love with you. dana scully I need you. dana scully save me #watching squeeze rn. the bit where mulder is like the next time he’ll strike is 2023 and you’ll be head of the bureau by then. he believes #in her so much. he just wants her to succeed but also he doesn’t want her to leave him bc she’s the only one who gives him any respect…#and even though her career is important to her and you can see the damage this is doing to her rep already after only THREE episodes #she still stays with him because she believes he’s a good agent!#she’s so young. she’s throwing her LIFE away #also it’s soooo fucking funny watching mulder getting bullied by these grown ass man. in high school they called him cruel names like #‘pretty boy’ and ‘model’

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thefrogdalorian · 6 months

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Having of those moments where I wish to yeet the like button into the sun or maybe make it so there was setting you could turn on so that people can only reblog posts (even better with the minimum requirement of adding at least one tag)!!

It's kind of absurd that one of my fics is getting close to 500 notes while simultaneously being one I've had the least actual human interactions come from. Like...... come on, that's now how it should be AT ALL!

Don't get me wrong, I'm so thrilled people are clearly finding it and I guess enjoying it(??) but just having endless likes without people letting me know what they enjoyed about it or even if they liked it kind of makes me sad. That's not why I want to share my writing here!

I love having those little human connections with others. I don't ever want my writing to feel transactional. I would love to talk to more people about things I've written. It's truly one of the best feelings and I would hate to lose that, the more I write or the more notes my fics get. Please don't be shy!! I get the social anxiety, but there is no reason to be. I am truly just a Din Djarin obsessed loser.

Anyway, whine over. I don't want to focus on the negatives here and I appreciate every single person who has ever left a positive interaction with something I've written. You are truly a light!

#i don't JUST like posts too often #really the only posts i dont reblog but like are to save for later or if it's too personal/explicit #or i guess i have nothing to add and OP has said it all yknow #but if i see some writing or art i love then hell yeah i always force myself to add at least one tag i like just so the artist/author sees #otherwise it feels like a hollow transaction and i really want people to know i appreciate their art more than just pressing a button yknow #and I KNOW it's intimidating at first to interact with others!! TRUST ME i get it and i'm still awful at it #but just one little comment can make someone feel so good about their writing... why wouldn't someone want to try that at least #especially if you enjoyed it!!! even a key smash or a string of emojis!!!#and the death of the tumblr tag is SO SAD because where else am i meant to talk to you lot?#i mean these tags are longer than my actual post and that's the beauty of tumblr #you don't have to perceive me down here but you can if you wish and i love you for that!#and it's a nice way to organise your blog to make it navigable for others #ANYWAY said i was done whining and continued whining down here so there's that LOL but i always want to interact with more people #please do not be afraid of reaching out to me! scroll through my blog for 5 seconds and you'll see what a nerdy loser i am #akdjgds i mean aren't we all here #spud rants #writing #but thanks again to anyone who leaves nice comments im giving you a (consensual) forehead smooch MWAH

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