#but i do think the season 2 finn story should have gone to Wells because it fits his character better

[mk-wizard]

Top 10 Media that deserve a reboot

Now, this list might be controversial to some, but hear me out. As an artist and storyteller, I don't believe in bad ideas. Just badly executed ideas. I am going to list 10 media that I do believe had potential, still have potential and had great plot ideas as well as characters behind them, but could have been better. In fact, I believe they deserve another chance because the medias themselves were not bad. They were just done bad, but as the remake of Resident 2, 3 and 4 have shown us, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Note that there are also spoilers ahead and I will not include the Acolyte on this list because it still ongoing and I will not list a media that isn't finished yet. That isn't fair.

1- The Mummy (2017) - This adaptation of the Mummy had potential as it was frightening, it had a good plot and the idea of it being the doorway to a bigger universe was good buildup. Also, this take on the Mummy was the stuff of nightmares in all the right ways. I mean, even visually, she was frightening especially with those trademark eyes. I loved that. However, I find they did too much, too fast with hinting at a bigger universe and should have focused solely on the Mummy. With that said, if you just fix that and clean up the other mistakes, it could succeed where the first try failed. Maybe even succeed at finally opening up the door to that bigger monster universe we never got to see.

2- The Star Wars Sequel Trilogy - I have not given up on Star Wars nor shall I because it still giving us new stuff that is that is good or at the very least, has good potential such as the Clone Wars, Rebels, Andor and The Bad Batch. In fact, even the sequel trilogy itself had potential, but it's biggest mistake in my opinion was that it chose the wrong character to be the hero. It should have Finn not Rey. In fact, I think Rey should have gone down the path of the Sith with Kylo Ren being a red herring big bad. It's second biggest mistake is was the choppy storytelling. The three films did not feel cohesive and the lack of respect for legacy characters was not very nice. I would not have killed off Han, split up Han and Leia, and so on. It needs a reboot with some tweaking.

3- Spider-Man 3 (the Raimi films) - This one makes me sad because it was not bad, but the forced inclusion of Venom really did leave a mark on it (no pun intended). Even Sam Raimi knew that including him in the film was a bad idea, but his hand was forced. In all fairness, the characters acting out of character didn't help either especially when Peter kissed another girl for publicity. Peter Parker would never do that especially when intending to marry Mary Jane. If this film was rebooted the way Raimi really wanted it to be, it would not only be great, but give this series the jumpstart to continue onto the plans he had for his Spider-Man film series.

4- Marvel's Spider-Man (2017 cartoon) - I have another article that explores in detail everything wrong with this cartoon, so to keep it brief, it introduced many great fresh ideas that I loved such as turning Harry Osborne into a hero, making Doc Conners into a bad guy from the get-go, the first cartoon introduction of Miles Morales, great story arc ideas and more. However, I find that the story's downfall is that was too watered down and kid friendly. This cartoon should have been aimed at older teens, Peter Parker should have been the focus and the ONLY Spider with crossovers being put to a minimum, taking its time with the storytelling, less humor, more grit and seriousness, making Doc Ock into an adult, and eliminating that gifted school altogether. Spider-Man needs his own cartoon more than ever, but one where he is shown as a hero not a clown.

5- The Walking Dead TV Series - I have great memories about this show and I was cool with it not following the comic. In some ways, that was its strength, but after season 3, the show lost its way. It stopped being emotion driven, the human element was gone and character development as well as relationship development was gone. Not to mention, the seasonal rot (pardon the pun) began to show. I think this show's greatest downfall was that it went on for too long and should have stopped while it was ahead. With that said, it deserves a reboot where it can retold and remain polished and well written from beginning to end.

6- The Incredibles 2 - I love the Incredibles in general. However, the sequel... it's a mixed bag. I like that the story was continuing, I liked Screen Slaver and I liked that the world was being explored further, but I did not like that it was just a sub-par retelling of the first film while featuring Elastigirl instead of Mr. Incredible. Don't get me wrong, I love Elastigirl/Helen Parr, but I think the way the Incredibles should have continued (as mentioned in another article I wrote once) was as a TV series where the characters age and develop. I mean, who wouldn't love a family sitcom-superhero TV series? Continuing the story is a must, but with new plots and having the story actually progress.

7- Every Pirates of the Caribbean film after the first - Like the Incredibles, the first film was perfect and having the story continue was a genius idea, but it should have continued as a TV series. I love Davey Jones and Jack having his own adventures, but I did not like how the character unlikable especially Jack Sparrow. I admit he is a pirate at the of the day, but he was one with a good heart. By the end of the series, he was a horrible person and I didn't like that. In many ways, I wasn't even sure if I liked any of the characters with how they became in the end. Moreover, Barbossa should have remained dead. Period. That doesn't mean this franchise doesn't deserve a reboot. It does and the characters should have developed in a way that makes them likeable. Maybe even have Jack grow up a little. There are so many things you can do with pirates.

8- Every Robocop media that came after the first film - Hear me out please with this one. I find that all of the sequel media of Robocop had great idea and concepts that could have worked, and still would work. Even the remake had some good points. The problem is, all of them could have been better. Even the video game was a lot of fun, but from a storytelling point of view, it too had the same problem all of the other media did. The plot was not progressing and Robocop/Alex Murphy would keep regressing as a character back into acting like a robot. Robocop needs a reboot sequel where the story actually goes on and all the progress he made as a man in the first film gets carried over to the next chapter. A good example are the comics, but even them too... they fall into the trap of the story being stuck. I want to see a sequel where the world of Robocop actually moves on and where things happen beyond Robocop just saving the day. Most importantly, I would reboot the sequel media as an episodic TV series. Not a film. Alex Murphy's journey is too complex and long to be told in just one or two movies.

9- Batman Beyond - I can't say there was much wrong with this series. I think it was pretty flawless and Terry McGinnis did indeed come into his own as the next Batman. My only complaint about it is how it ended. Terry McGinnis does not need to be the convoluted genetically modified son of Bruce Wayne. It defeats the whole purpose of him being his own Batman and own man in general. I think Terry should remain unrelated to Bruce and for their bond to just spiritually be foster father and foster son. It was just fine like that. If I also had to find another thing wrong with this series is that... it ended too suddenly and too soon. I would love to see Terry don the Batman identity again. He was cool and I miss him. Plus, there is still so many things that remained unresolved.

10 - Spider-Man: One More Day - It is quite obvious what went wrong with this storyline. It not only retconned Peter and MJ's marriage and family, it retconned their adulthood and character development. After that, the story of Spider-Man in the comics has just never been the same. While presenting a story where Aunt May was dying and Peter was faced with the choice of saving her at the cost of erasing his new life or keeping his new life while accepting Aunt May passing on was a good idea... having Peter choose to save Aunt May and give up his new life he worked so hard to build was a mistake. Rather than retconning this comic, I think rebooting it with a much better message would fix everything for Spider-Man and the Spider-Man community in general. Just when Spider-Man is about to make the deal with Mephisto, Aunt May herself catches wind of what Peter is going to do and, like in the video games, stops him from making the selfish decision of only saving her. She explains to Peter while getting ill is not ideal, she is old to begin with and even then, got to experience many wonderful things and got to see him grow up and get married. Plus, erasing his life with MJ wouldn't just negatively impact his life, but also MJ's and the lives all those he touched around him. Aunt May would convince Peter that her life alone is not more important the many lives that would get changed without consent. She has accepted that her time has come and that both Peter and MJ must accept it too with grace and not let any devil tempt them to do otherwise. In the end, Peter and MJ turn down Mephisto's deal which does result in a fight which Spider-Man wins with help. It also ends with Aunt May succumbing to her illness and dying, but her soul is at peace and as much as everyone is heartbroken by her passing, Peter and MJ see all the friends surrounding them in their time of mourning and accept that allowing this to happen was the right thing to do. Aunt May was important to them, but so is everyone else who is still here with them, everything they made together and everything that is going to happen after. It also ends with MJ discovering that she is pregnant which drives the point home all the more.

And that's my list. What do you think?

[peggyrose19]

Everything Was Falling Apart Pt. 2

Part 2 here we go! This might end terribly, we’ll see. More angst, as I’m sure you all expected. What will they decide? Who knows. Certainly not me. I just let them do what they want. Anyways. This is kinda mixing the timelines/storylines of both Clandestine and SW so it might be a tiny bit confusing to follow? Idk, I tried my best to make it make sense. Last part was more from Finn’s perspective so this time you get Logan. Whee. That was not intentional, it just happened. Did I mention I just write what they tell me to? Well, I do. 

Part 1 is here if you haven’t read it yet. 

Also I lied, there will be a part 3 hehe. I just really love leaving you guys in suspense. Sorry not sorry :)

Characters belong to the amazing and lovely @lumosinlove and AU belongs to the wonderful @heyitssmiller. 

Logan missed him. He tried and tried to ignore the feeling but he did. Finn was constantly on his mind, with his soft hair and green eyes and loving smile. He missed Leo too. But that was a different pain. The kind of pain that never left. The kind of pain that stuck in his mind when he closed his eyes at night, curly hair stained with blood, brown eyes wide and unblinking flashing past his eyes. 

He was in Australia for Leo’s birthday. It was warm there, the seasons opposite to what he was used to. He woke up and found he couldn’t get out of bed. He just lay there and thought about blond curls and dimples and a laugh he’d never hear again. Finn texted him. He didn’t answer. And when his tears had soaked through the pillow, he rolled over and tossed it off the bed, falling into an uneasy sleep until morning. 

He was in England for Finn’s birthday. It rained the whole day and he sat unmoving by the window, phone in his hand, thinking of his wide smile and bright eyes and the absence of both the day they’d said goodbye. He couldn’t bring himself to dial the number. 

He would have forgotten about his own birthday was it not five days before Christmas. And if his sisters hadn’t bombarded him with messages and questions of when he would be home again. He called them all, faking a smile for them, and promised to be home for Christmas next year. But he had a feeling they saw right through him. Everything was falling apart.

The night Logan flew into JFK airport, he received a voicemail from Finn. It surprised him; Finn had given up contacting him months ago after too many messages had gone unanswered. He pulled it up, pressing play absentmindedly, knowing he wasn’t going to reply, telling himself he was listening to it only to know what he’d said. 

But this time something in Finn’s voice pulled him up short. 

Hey Lo. I miss you. 

It’s been a year since… well. But you know that of course. 

I just- I know you’re in New York. Don’t tell me you’re not, we both know it’d be a lie. Can I- can we… I want to see you. Please. It’s been so long. Just… give me a call when you land. Or don’t. Whatever. I just- we need to talk. 

I love you. 

Logan stood frozen, unaware of the world, everything falling apart around him. The people rushing around him, the announcement being made, the whir of the baggage claim starting up all went by unnoticed. He just stood, staring down at his phone, at the voicemail and the name Finn O’Hara beside it. Finn’s words rang through his head. That was not what he had been expecting. 

With shaking hands, he dialed the number. 

Finn answered on the first ring. 

“Hello?” his voice asked, uncertain and quiet and as familiar to Logan as the green of his eyes, ingrained forever in his mind. Unthinkingly, Logan released a soft sigh. 

“Hey, Finn,” he said quietly. 

“It’s really you.” 

He took a shaky breath. “Yeah.” 

“I didn’t think you’d call.” 

“Me neither. But your voicemail… fuck, Finn. I- yeah, I’d love to see you.” 

“You would?” Finn’s voice rose. 

“Yeah. I miss you.” 

“Coffee tomorrow?” 

Logan forced his nerves down, refusing to get his hopes up about anything. “Sounds good.” 

He could almost hear Finn’s smirk as he added, “Or whatever the fuck it is you drink. Cause it certainly isn’t coffee.” 

“Fuck off,” Logan let out a startled laugh. 

Finn laughed a little too. “So, tomorrow. Does 9:00 work? And there’s a cafe just down the street from my place if you wanna go there. I can send you the address.” 

“Sounds good,” Logan managed, voice tight. 

“Alright. I’ll see you then Tremz. Don’t bail on me.” He said it jokingly but they both heard the truth beneath it. 

“I won’t,” he promised softly. 

Finn hung up with a soft click and Logan stood rooted to the spot. He wasn’t sure what to think. Finn had called him. He had called Finn. And Finn had answered. They’d talked. They’d made plans. After a year of not speaking, of not seeing each other, not even being in the same time zone, they were going to coffee tomorrow. 

He wasn’t sure he was even going to make it there. 

But he had promised. He had promised Finn he would show up and so he would.

He would not fall apart. 

Logan woke the next morning having slept a total of two hours. Each time he drifted off, his thoughts betrayed him again, turning back to his date with Finn over and over until he wanted to reach into his mind and pull them out simply for a moment of peace. 

He dressed anxiously, changing half a dozen times before forcing himself to stop. For the next hour, he paced the small hotel room, television playing in the background, running his hands through his hair, never quite able to break the habit. 

Finn had texted him the address the night before. It was only a ten minute walk and so, at promptly 8:45, Logan left the hotel and hurried down the street, following the blue line on his phone. 

It took him only seven minutes to get there. He loitered outside for a moment, watching the city. The streets were crowded like always, cars and pedestrians all trying to get somewhere in a hurry. An old conversation passed through his mind as he waited, a night out with Finn and Leo before they’d gotten together. 

“Should we have gone left?” 

“We’re literally following the blue line.” 

“I know, but that way looks shorter.” 

“New Yorker, forever in a hurry.” 

The conversation brought the sting that normally accompanied thoughts of Leo. But it faded a bit as he remembered that night, Leo asking them questions about their histories, how they’d met. Neither of them had told the true story of how they’d met, that night at the party, both drunk and flirty and not quite thinking straight. He remembered Leo’s smile, the dimples he’d fallen in love with the first time he’d ever seen them. He remembered Finn’s bright smile and care-free attitude, getting sappy and losing coherent speech with each drink he consumed. And he wished, just for a moment, he could go back to that night. 

A hand on his shoulder shook him from his thoughts. He startled, whipping around on instinct. But as soon as he caught sight of the person now in front of him, he froze. 

Finn looked nearly the same as he had a year ago. His curls were unruly as ever, falling around his eyes, just a little bit longer. His eyes were dimmer, more subdued than they usually were. No smile graced his face, but he wasn’t frowning. 

“Hi,” Finn said softly and Logan nearly melted. 

“Finn.” Without a second thought, Logan crashed into his arms. Finn held him close and it was as if no time had passed at all. Their bodies molded together the way they always did, and the feeling of home nearly made Logan cry. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed physical contact until suddenly he was being held again, for the first time in probably a year. Without a word, he buried his face in Finn’s shoulder, hair brushing his cheek. 

“I missed you so fucking much,” Finn whispered fiercely into his ear. He pulled away, but kept his arms around Logan, as if afraid he would run if he let go. 

“Me too.” He sniffed, telling himself it was just the cold air making his eyes water. 

“C’mon, let’s go inside. I have so much to fill you in on.” 

They went into the café, charming and small, and got in line, Finn asking Logan question after question about where he’d travelled and what he’d seen. They skirted around the reason he’d left, pretending it had all just been a long vacation. They ordered and sat down, Finn only teasing him a bit about his ridiculously sweet coffee, before continuing his questions. 

It was only after they’d exhausted talk of Logan’s travels that silence fell between them. 

“I wish Leo was here,” Finn said eventually. 

“Me too.” 

“He could’ve made us those amazing muffins of his, remember those?” 

Logan smiled. “Yeah. Brought ‘em in our first day of the mission. Mon dieu, those were good.” 

“Yeah, they were,” he agreed. 

“How have you been?” Logan asked. “And tell me the truth. You’ve been bombarding me with questions since we got here. I don’t even know what you’ve been up to.” 

Finn sighed. “It’s been really fucking hard. That’s the truth. Because not only did I lose Leo, then I lost you too. And you don’t- you never answered my calls or my messages. I needed to talk to you and you wouldn’t pick up. I had to go through that without you. You were the only other person who knew how I felt, and we could’ve helped each other. But you refused to even look at me, and-” Finn shrugged helplessly- “I’ve tried really hard to forgive you, Lo. But I’m not sure I can. You haven’t made it easy to love you.” 

“You still love me?” 

“Of course I fucking love you! I never stopped!”

Logan was taken aback by the outburst. He glanced furtively around the room to see if anyone was looking at them, but no one even glanced their way. Finn noticed and sighed. 

“Logan, I don’t want to go another year without talking to you. It was torture. I know… I know that we can’t be us again, not the way we used to be, not without Leo. But can we at least be friends? Tremz, I miss my best friend. Please. Don’t walk away from me again.” 

Silence fell between them and Logan surveyed the man before him. The man he’d once loved with all his heart, once vowed to himself to never let go, to protect and love and cherish. That had been a year ago. A lot had changed in that year. 

But as Finn waited for his answer with bated breath, Logan realized he didn’t want to run anymore.

[elysiashelby]

In Another World - T.Shelby Imagine Ch. 18

Paring: (Eventual) Thomas Shelby x Aliena Welsh (OC)

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Word Count: 8,466

WARNINGS: ANGST?, Vivid Murder Scenes, Cursing, “Fluff”

Summary: It’s been three months since Aliena was hired by Cassie’s father, Dom to be an assassin. Now she has to juggle her side job, a social life, and her main job. How will take take a toll?

MASTERLIST   CHAPTER 17  CHAPTER 19

A/N: So, if you’ve haven’t realized by now. Things are starting to get “bloodier”/ more violent. SEASON 2 STARTS NEXT CHAPTER!! I think I started this story this June or July, so this story isn’t even a year old yet. It sure feels like it! Well, Happy Holidays everyone and let’s hope 2021 is a better year.

The smell, oh, the smell was pungunt. 

The scent of overwhelming iron surrounded me.

My hands were covered in it. The mixture of fresh red and dried reddish-brown made the color of my skin unrecognizable.  

With wobbly legs, I made my way into the barren street. There was this continuous burn from overexertion in my thighs. The night breeze blew my hair around me and into my view.

With confident strides, I made my way to the kitchen counter. The air was humid from the oven and I was attempting to reach my destination in a timely manner, so that I can wash away this stickiness for my hands.

Then a loud whiz...passed by my ear/breezed passed me.

I sighed deeply before pivoting toward the direction of the bullet. 

I exclaimed in surprise as John's children ran around the kitchen, passing me by with enough speed that caused me to be concerned.

I bent down, reached for my gun, and fired at the person.

I shouted at them, “Guys, get out of the kitchen and play in the living room! I don’t want youse gettin’ hurt.”

With my grip firmly around the collar of the unknown man, I drew back my fist and punched him over and over again. Daylight blinded me, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was making sure this man didn’t get back up.

With the back of my hand, I wiped the sweat from my forehead and kneaded the dough over and over again. Then, Ada came in, scolded me for doing more work than necessary, and passed me the rolling pin.

A new day and I was staring out a window, the man had an arm wrapped around my throat. Even though I was in a chokehold— I wasn’t worried. The wind that rattled the leaves of the tree outside was visually pleasing. I extended my arm and then drove my elbow into his ribs. He loosened his hold around my neck, I gripped his arm, and threw him to the ground. Without hesitation, I grasped my gun from my thigh holster and fired. 

I carefully placed the rolled out dough on the platter and started smoothing it out with my fingers. 

Killing is more work than I thought, but I didn't mind it. I held it in par with making this cherry pie. 

I dusted my hands off before wiping them on my apron for good measure. 

I wiped the blood on my hands on the guy's own face. Not like he could care. Stabbing someone without stopping would take feelings like discomfort away.

I bent down and shoved it in the oven. 

I bent down as I dodged a right hook. I sprang back up and returned the favor. I grabbed the stunned man, quickly elbowed him in the face, and flipped him on his back. While still having a grip on his arm, I snapped it, dropped it as he screamed in pain, and then put a bullet between his eyes. 

I watched as the life drained from his eyes. 

I watched as the pie, slowly, began to brown.

Another day, another “mission.” I can’t tell you how many people I’ve killed since I’ve began in May. Three months have past, and I have to admit— it felt like I was completing a job every other day. I know I’m exhausted, but this thrill—! It was like a drug and I’m an addict. 

The burning in my lungs hardly bothered me anymore as I was chasing down my latest target. He sniffed me out. Paranoid, he was, just like it said on the profile. He was just quicker than me. Noticed when I was pulling out my gun. The squirrely bastard!

I need to get this done quickly ‘cause I have to make another pie for Ada. She wanted one for her family ‘n said mine tasted too good to get one bought. I sympathized with her given her situation, and caved. Freddie was getting worse, no sign of getter any better. Despite that, he was still up and about. 

I stopped running, stilled my body, steadied my gun, and fired. He crouched, flailing his hands in the air while crying out in fear. I groaned in frustration, my cheeks puffing out. The chase resumed. 

It didn’t take long ‘til we were running across the hills. I noticed that his pace slowed and I decided to slow down with him. He was still running while I was speed walking. More like marching because of the steepness. I fired again and he fell to the ground.

Not a millisecond later, he was wailing loudly. Meaning, he was still alive. I rolled my eyes and marched right up to him. He was cradling his leg, blood seeping through his hands. 

“God, you fucking bastard. Why’d you have to run?” I moaned. I let out a loud exhale, as I tipped my head back, and shook my arms. 

He stuttered. “Please! Please don’t kill me!” 

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I felt disgusted by his actions. I mean what kind of person do you have to be to get a mark on you, and then snivel like a little baby. It’s not just him. There’s been like six other guys who've had the same reaction. Oh, and two women.

Women targets don’t happen often. I’ve only received four orders to take out a woman. So far…

“You see. I might have had some mercy if you hadn’t fucking ran!” I said mockingly. 

“Oh, god! Someone! Someone help me!” 

I widened my eyes and began shaking my head. I took a deep breath and picked up my head. “Help! Somebody help him!” I shouted. I looked back at him and shook my head. “Nobody is out here, William.” 

“Please.” He stuttered again. “I have children.”

I pursed my lips and shook my head. “And…”

“I-! I have to look after them.” He cried out.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Why should I care?”

He shook his head. “No! No!” He held up his blood soaked hands, covering his face while scurrying back.

I just watched him with a blank stare. 

Then, he stilled and said. “Wait, wait! I have money!” He swallowed harshly. “I can give you money. I have… a lot of money.”

I prodded my cheek with my tongue before I asked. “How much?” I raised my eyebrow while lowering my gun.

He stammered for words. “200 pounds. No! 400!” 

I dramatically blinked and waivered the aim of my gun. I was getting 23,500 for this guy! ‘I’ma fuck with him.’ I thought.

I smiled and said. “Alright, let’s go get it.” 

I saw his face contort in relief. “Really?” He shouted.

I nodded, still smiling.

He struggled to get to his feet, and once he did— he glanced down at my gun.

I let out a little “oh” and pretended to tuck in the back of my pants. “You first.” I motioned him with my free hand, and watched as he hobbled past me.

I let him walk a few more steps until I felt like it was time to stop playing. I raised  my gun again and pulled the trigger. My head cocked slightly to the side as I watched his body fall to the ground. 

I sighed audibly and walked over to the body. I kicked him to face upwards and crouched down. I stared at his figure. A bullet hole in the middle of his forehead. Eyes open. He was kind of handsome. 

“What a waste.” I muttered to myself. I rose back up and tucked my gun in the back of my pants. I took the guy’s coat off and laid him on top of it then used it to pull his body back to the car. It wasn’t my car. It was his. Dude thought that he was getting lucky tonight.

I posed as an upper class citizen at some horse meeting event. I wore a blonde wig and some equestrian clothing. I acted posh and nobody noticed a thing. This man liked his women on the bossy side and that’s what I gave him.

Anyway, I had to get to the nearest payphone to tell Dom that the job was done. He would send someone to get rid of the body along with my payment. Then, I would get a ride back home.

And that’s exactly what happened.

I was stitching up a jacket of Finn’s while watching my pie bake. I can’t express how tired I am. I keep sticking myself with the needle, but… I needed to fix this up. Finn only has so many suit jackets and most of them were hand-me-downs.

My sleeping schedule was thoroughly fucked. The adrenaline from this morning's events was wearing off and that meant exhaustion was going to take over soon. 

 I covered my mouth as I yawned before I finally finished up the last stitch. I threw both the needle and the jacket on the table, and then rubbed my eyes violently. I rested my elbows on my knees as the palms of my hands were digging into my eyes. I wasn't causing myself any pain, but I was aware of the pressure it brought. 

I sniffed loudly before rising to my feet quickly, making the chair screech. I turned off the oven and then walked away. I read somewhere that if you leave your pie in the oven to cool down for around five minutes, then it does something to it. To this day, I don't know what it does. All that matters is that it lowers the risk of me getting burnt, and I have a few extra minutes to finish or start my next task. 

I walked back to the couch where I continued to fold clothes. I would have to deliver the boys' laundries to their respective homes. Tommy moved out as did Arthur. The family had enough money for it. The only people left in the main house were Polly, Finn, and myself. 

I didn't have time to adjust to the change. I'm just so tired by the time I walk into my room. The feeling of security Tommy brought with my knowledge he was just in the room over, was gone. My insomnia and paranoia would have acted up, but like I said- once I step into my bedroom, I practically black out. 

I moaned while dropping my arms and my head while closing my eyes, a shirt still in hand. I craved sleep so badly. I huffed as I quickly folded up the shirt and threw it into a pile.

The Shelby’s had no idea, to the best of my knowledge, that I was taking long breaks for well, my “missions.” I took every opportunity to do work outside of the shop, and even lied to them. Told them that I had a date or two. Sometimes they were even successful, and so far I’ve had two imaginary beaus. We always broke up, though. One was because the dude was boring, and the other because he said my heart wasn’t in.

The only reason I was allowed these “dates” is thanks to Polly. Tommy argued against letting me have them, but they had a private talk ‘n well… You know who won.

I marched over to the oven, put on my mitts, and pulled it out. I carefully removed it from the mold and onto a plate. Then, I covered it up with some napkins. Ada would pick it up when she dropped by, or Polly would use it as an excuse to go and see her. 

Speaking of Polly, I have to run and tell her that the bloody thing is done! I jogged into the shop and shuffled quickly over to Polly.

“Pol, Ada’s pie is done. I’ve left it on the counter.”

“All right, I’ll be taking it over to her flat when work is done.”

I nodded. “Well, I’m gonna get back to the laundry.”

She nodded. “Okay, love.”

I nodded one last time before marching back into the living room and began finishing up folding. I let my wander aimlessly as I did so. 

I recalled my latest kills and daydreamed about my stories. Some of them involved Tommy. He was always the anti-hero or the straight up villain. 

Also, since I have less time to myself— I’m not drawing, painting, or writing all that much. So, all of these plotlines are just in my head. They get so scrambled ‘n loud ‘cause I don’t have music to really express them. 

I heaved a sigh as I threw the last pair of pants onto a pile. I sorted the piles into their respective baskets, threw on a coat, and then began my journey. John’s house was first. I didn’t do his laundry all the time. However, this was one of the rare times that Esme wanted me to work for the family again. 

It would irritate me so much that she was practically working at the betting shop full time with John and would leave the kids running around at all hours, but now— I had my hands full. It would seem Katie is back to being a mum to her younger siblings. 

When Katie opened the door for me, I was bombarded in kisses and hugs. It really did make my heart swell. I stayed for a chat ‘n then left. I still had to deliver Arthur and Tommy’s laundry. And cook dinner as well! For both Tom and the main house! 

You’d think with how exhausted I am that I would just make the scran and scurry off to my room, but my body wouldn’t let me. I’d rather eat and it tastes like nothing than go to bed with an aching, empty stomach. 

John lived in the opposite direction of his brothers which made the walk longer and my annoyance grow with each step. I tried taking calming breaths, but— that almost never works. 

I knew he wouldn’t be home, but I knocked out of courtesy ‘n waited outside for like ten seconds. I put the basket down, scrambled to get the key to his flat, unlocked the door, and slid his basket in. I locked back up, picked up Tommy’s basket, and then went on my way.

I let out a big yawn as I walked. I covered it with my hand as best as I could. Didn’t want to be seen as improper! Believe me, I wish I wasn’t self-conscious about when I yawn, but there’s trauma behind it. 

Teachers should really mind their language when correcting a child that isn’t theirs. God, it infuriates me even now the way I was treated. They had no right doing what they did. Saying what they did!

I rolled my eyes and felt my annoyance rise along with the presence of a headache. I grumbled under my breath.

‘Idiot, now you’ve gone and given yourself a headache!’ I thought as I began to quicken my pace. 

I knocked at Tommy’s door, again out of courtesy. I knew he wasn’t home. I grabbed his key, unlocked the door, and walked right in. I ran up the stairs and into his room where I set his basket down on the bedroom bench. I dusted my hands and hurried down the stairs. My breasts bounced as I did so. 

Look, I was just painfully aware that they did so as I made my way down, okay?

I walked right to the kitchen and checked his refrigerator. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw that he had eaten the dinner I had prepared for him the night before. 

It meant that I didn’t have to throw out good food. 

I studied the ingredients in his fridge, that I jam packed, and settled on fish and chips. I took out the ready-made fish cuts, grabbed a bowl, filled it with hot water, and then set the cuts in there to defrost. I left the hot water running. I grabbed a couple of potatoes, washed them, and then began peeling. 

It would take me quite a while to get this done. And, I was expected to make dinner at the other house too!

God, I want to go to sleep! 

A whine slipped out as I stomped my foot. 

What we do for things we want to do, eh?

By the time I was done cooking, the sun was down ‘n my stomach was attacking itself. I sighed heavily as I used the tongs to place the chips on his plate. I twirled around to place the pan back on the stove, wiped my hands on a napkin, and then grabbed the salt shaker. I turned back and sprinkled some more salt on the chips. Then I stood there. I stood there and looked at the meal I made for a man who might not even eat it. 

I bit my lip and started wringing my hands tightly. After a grueling, ‘should I, should I not,’ I sat down in front of the meal abruptly and dug in. I don’t know why, but the meal tasted so much more flavorful than usual. I haven’t had fish and chips in ages, but it wasn’t that. Maybe it was the exhaustion or the fact that I made this meal in mind of another person, but the flavors just popped. 

I’m just glad that my serving sizes reflected my mother’s. Which basically meant that I cooked enough food for, at most, another two servings. When I finished eating, I washed it all down with a cup of water then I had to plate again, and wash the plate I ate from. 

When it was all said ‘n done, I made a beeline for the couch and flopped down on it. I grunted from the impact and groaned even louder. Everything ached!

I flipped ‘round, kicked off my heels, and let my hair down. I carelessly threw the pins on the little table next to me, and brought my knees to my chest. I tucked a couch pillow between my head and arm, the hand of this arm would be tucked under the pillow as my arm would rest on top of that one. Basically, the fetal sleeping position with a hand tucked under the pillow. 

This was usually the only way I could go to sleep.

I let my eyes flutter shut and made a promise. ‘Just for a few minutes.’

“Ali.”

…

“Ali!”

I sat up with a sharp gasp. My heart was poundin’ out of my chest. It felt like a panic attack. I looked up at Tommy, who was standing over me. 

“Have a nice nap, Ali?”

I just focused on getting my heart rate down.

While rolling a ciggie across his bottom lip, he asked. “There a reason why you’d be so tired? Who was it that you’re dating now? Brian? Henry? No, James! That’s his name.” His tone sounded so sarcastic that I found it to be cruel. 

It felt like he was judging me.

I scoffed as I rubbed my eyes. “His name was Joseph and we broke up like a week ago.” I watched him sit down, his elbows resting on his knees. “You know what, why do you even care?” 

I couldn’t even get my point across as he interrupted me with a sharp scoff. He took a short drag before saying, “If it affects your ability to do your job, then yes, Aliena. I care.”

I averted my eyes and replied through a semi-hidden pout. “But it hasn’t affected my job.”

“What else do you call this nap?”

My head snapped toward him and I threw him a look of pure confusion. “I was tired, Tom! Why else does one take a fucking nap?”

“Why would you be tired?”

I raised an eyebrow as I scoffed. “I had-! I didn’t sleep last night, okay! I-I’m…” I groaned as I threw myself back against the couch ‘n threw an arm over my eyes. 

It was a big lie. I was asleep for like three hours! I had to get everything ready and exercise in preparation for today’s target. Time passed quickly and before you know it I had to make breakfast ‘n then work in the shop for a little.

I knew I won this little squabble when I heard a sigh. I barely managed to register it by the way, but I heard it, nonetheless. 

“Right, well. Today it’s your insomnia, but tomorrow it can be because of something else.”

I squinted my eyes as I tried to decipher what the fuck he just said to me.

“Perhaps, it would be best if you put off dating for a while. Seems like you’re having bad luck as it is. Focus more on your job.” He heaved as he rose to his feet and began walking to the kitchen.

It was like his words finally registered as I rushed to my feet and shouted after him. “Hey, what’s up with you?”

“Nothing is up with me, Aliena.” He replied as he was pulling out his chair and sat down.

I noticed that he hadn’t poured himself anything to drink. I groaned loudly raising my arms as I did so, and marched back into the living room. “Yes, there is!” I shouted. “You’ve got a cob on ‘n you’re taking it out on me.” I poured him some whiskey and walked back to the kitchen. “You know what, you’ve been cross abar me goin’ on dates from the beginning! Why? You and the rest of the family were beggin’ me to find a fella ‘n now— what? You’ve had a change of heart.” 

I slammed the whiskey down in front of him. I placed my hands on my hips and asked teasingly, a smile on my face as well. “Do you not like the idea of losing me, Tommy? Is that it? Afraid I’m going to be whisked away by some fella? Or! Do you want me to be more independent? Thinkin’ more modernly, lately, or what?”

Tommy had raised the glass to his lips, but set it back down by the time I was done talking. He gave me this deadpan stare that did not help my giggling. 

We continued to stare at each other. While he was donning an emotionless expression, my dumb-arse was flinching up a storm. Whether it was twitches from my head or my hands. Plus the incessant laughing and ever changing facial expressions. Eventually, when my face and stomach began to hurt— I nipped my bottom lip harshly and took a deep breath.

It was then that I noticed that his jaw was clenched. I couldn’t figure out why for the life of me. I averted my eyes and took a seat. My eyes kept drifting back to Tom as I waited for him to say something, but he just kept his stoic expression for a while more. Tommy sniffed and cleared his throat as he removed the napkin covering his food, and took his utensils into his hands. 

I wanted to scoff, but something was telling me that he didn’t say anything for a reason. 

‘Maybe he refrained from humiliating me?’ I thought, trying to rationalize his behavior.

I took a deep breath before saying, “Well, fine, Tom. You win. I’ll lay off the scene for a while.” I crossed my legs and pulled my dress down. I leaned forward and rested my head in my hand. 

Tommy took a swig of whiskey before he said. “Polly rang and said that you didn’t have to worry about making dinner. Said that you looked pale when you came back from your break this evening, and that she had a suspicion you would doze off at one of our flats.” 

I chuckled as I drummed my fingers on the table. “Am I that predictable?”

Tommy looked me in the eyes and said. “Yes, you are.” 

I sat up straight, my smile falling from my face. 

Silence enveloped us, and I felt the urge to run and cry in more room grow by the second. I cleared my throat and rose to my feet. “Well, I better be heading back. Good night, Tommy.” I turned around and began making my way to the entrance.

However, I didn’t get ten steps in before Tommy called after me. “Wait!” His chair scraped along the tile loudly behind me.

I stopped where I stood and slowly faced him. His head was hanging and he was holding himself up by his arms. 

Tommy looked up at me and tsked. “Stay. … For a little while more.” 

I scrunched my eyebrows. “Did you need something, Tommy?”

He breathily replied. “No. Just. Want you to stay a little while more.” He hung his head again by the end of his words.

I gave him a small smile. “Okay, then. I’ll stay.” I walked back over to the chair and sat back down. As did he. 

I figured he wouldn’t like me just watching him as he ate, so I resorted to talking to him about my days. Just like old times.

I guess I managed to loosen him up a bit because he brazenly began to ask me about my romances. I, of course, told him the exact same things I’ve told Polly. To the T. I couldn’t afford to add on since they probably talk about this with each other, as they did with everything else.  

I managed to make him laugh twice. And, of course, it was at my expense. Bastard.

I noticed that Tom was done eating, so I rose to my feet while reaching for his empty plate. “All done, Tom?” I asked as I walked around the table and to the sink.

He let out a quick, “Yeah.” 

So, I cleaned the dish. There was a short comfortable silence before Tommy stood beside me ‘n cleared his throat. I wiped the plate dry while glancing at him through my peripherals.

Tommy took an audible breath before asking, “How is Freddie?”

I averted my eyes at the question. I sniffed. “He’s… He’s not getting better, Tom.”

Tom took the plate from my hands, which made me stare up at him. Emotionless, he was. “Tom…”

He cut me off, asking, “Has Ada told you anything? Or have you heard about his condition from the doctor?” 

I swallowed as I watched him put away the plate in the cupboard. “They, uh…” God, I was awful at this. And because I was talking so much, my fatigue was up again. “The doctor said that Freddie has a more severe case of the disease, and that he has anywhere from six months to a few years. Can’t tell, he said.” I crossed my arms and hugged myself. I muttered. “Said you can never know with tuberculosis.”

Slowly, Tommy leaned on the sink. His eyes were wide, his jaw slack. He looked vulnerable and… heartbroken. It broke my heart to see him like this.

Before I could even utter a word of my sympathies, I was being pulled into his arms. His breath was tickling my neck, so I had to bite my tongue harshly to prevent myself from giggling. 

The last time he was like this, he found out that Grace had been the traitor. I don’t know why, but I wasn’t expecting Tom to be so affected by Freddie’s illness. The two had just been so cross with each other that the fact they used to be best friends completely went over my head. They were childhood friends, at that. Maybe if I’d seen the relationship they had, I’d be more sympathetic, but… I can’t say Freddie’s illness bothered me to this extent. He was simply sick...and dying. 

Freddie only lasted a season, so there wasn’t much time to get his character development ‘n such. Even if he had, I’d doubt that I’d grow an attachment to ‘em. Freddie was borderline abusive, in my opinion. He reminded me of my sister’s ex-boyfriend, the one who touched me. I’m not saying Freddie is capable of molestation, but from what I remember about the day Polly went to see him at his mother’s grave— everything he did after that didn’t sit right with me. Plus, the time where he took his anger out on Ada while she was pregnant. 

Nobody is a saint, but those actions spoke volumes to me ‘n I grew wary around him. I’m not saying that he deserves to die. He doesn’t. But, nor do I care much about his ailment either.

I ran a hand through his hair, bringing him closer to me, and he did the same to me. I can’t deny that I shivered from the action, his cold hand running through my hair. We were hugging so tightly that I could hardly breathe. 

“Tommy!” I gasped out. I waited for a response, but he gave me nothing. I called his name out again and again and again. 

“Please.” His lips smacked. “Just-! Just a little while longer.”

I hummed and rubbed his back. 

Tommy let out a sigh before saying, “Nobody came back the same. Nobody. Freddie… Freddie took a bullet for me ‘n what have I done, eh? What have I done with that chance he gave me?”

Though, I wanted to respond. Though, I wanted to comfort him and silence the noise in his head. I knew better than to interrupt someone in a rant.

“We-We used to be so close, you know. He was my best mate, but I made a promise to meself that I’d change. I’d change this family for the better. I’d protect it better. Freddie! Freddie wanted to change the world, still. Still wanted revolution. But a war like that takes time and- and connections and money.” He scoffed. “It’s not happening in this lifetime, that’s for sure. Status, money, and violence is what makes the world go round. Not justice and pretty words.” He laughed, dryly. 

He couldn’t see with my face hidden in his neck, but my face contorted harshly. I felt like crying from his words. His tone was so strained and full of pain.

“But, it seems that there was still some part of me that hoped that he could do it. That he and Ada could change the world. And now, now… I’m losing him to the same fucking disease.”

Greta, he was talking about Greta.

My mouth moved before I could stop it. “Greta, right?” His hold on me loosened, and funnily enough— the separation allowed for some fresh air to squeeze in.

He hummed in confirmation. “Who blabbered to you about her, eh?”

“It was Freddie, actually.” He held me tight again. When he didn’t say anything else, I took it as my turn to speak. “You know, Tom, you’re right in acknowledging that you all came back different. You focused on the small, your family while Freddie focused on the big, the government. Nobody-!” I sighed while averting my eyes. “I don’t blame you for that. I’m sure you both actually held the same dream.”

“What dream would that be?” He whispered.

While I didn’t break the hug, I shifted us around so that I could cradle his face. “To protect your family.” His eyebrows furrowed and his lip quivered before he left out a snicker. “What!” I exclaimed. “Okay, maybe not just your family, but you know what I mean! Families all over.” He was still snickering as he bent down and hid his face in my neck. “Oh, do one. You know what I meant, Thomas Shelby.”

Once his snickering was under control, I added. “You know, it’s not too late to make amends. He’s still running around London, preaching of his revolution. Plus, there’s always the chance-!”

“No, no there’s not, Ailena.” His head shot up and his hands held my face. My hands, on reflex, went to remove his grip, but I took a deep breath and rested my hands on his. “He’s not miraculously gonna get better. You said it yourself. The doctor said his condition is severe.”

I hummed and muttered “is right”. There was a silence that dropped between us again. But this one was different. His eyes kept glancing up and down, but at what? ‘Was there something on my face?’ I wondered as I was admiring his eyes. I could never get tired of looking at his baby blues.

But then reality interrupted as he cleared his throat and dropped his hands from my face. We both took a step back, and I shyly hung my head. Then, I started rocking on my heels till I made finger guns as I walked into the living room. 

Tommy said. “Thanks for…” 

 I cut him off. “You don’t have to thank me, honestly.”

“Well, then. At least let me take you back to the ‘ouse.” 

I chuckled loudly. “Fine then! But I’m warning ya now, I’m super tired, right now. That means I’ma talk your ear off!” I grabbed my coat off the hanger as he opened the door for us.

Tommy scoffed while holding the door open, his head tipping back and a grin on his face. “Like I’m not used to it.”

“Ha!” I shouted while twirling around to face him as he was locking the door. “Az if! It’s been a while since you���ve had to deal with me at night.”

“Sure, but doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten the experience. That sort of damage lasts a lifetime.” 

I gasped and smacked his arm.

I was thinking about Tommy’s smiling face as I traced the rim of my martini. 

I didn’t focus on the lavish scene around me. I was wearing a black wig that had the cut of a bob in a red dress. I was standing at the bar of this hotel. People were seated in tables behind me, their conversations were loud over the soft music playing. There were a few people and couples standing at the bar with me, but they were far away from me.

Ever since Grace, he’s been more serious. Keeps more things bottled up. I mean I don’t blame him. Probably feels that he needs to be more guarded since it was so easy for Grace to infiltrate, you know? Maybe I hurt him too. 

I laughed to myself, a hand hovering over my mouth. I took a couple of stumbling steps, making sure it looked like I was having a hard time standing up straight. While I was playing the part of a drunken damsel, nothing could break the concentration I had on my black clutch.

Tonight’s target was a poor excuse of a human being who liked to take advantage of women. Rough sex, rape, the whole fucking sha-bang! He’s been known to take a drunk woman up to his room and have his way with her. Practically gloated about it.

“Hello, pretty lady. All alone tonight, are you?”

I let out a soft, “Ha!” I took a swig of my drunk before facing him. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” My words were purposefully slurred.

“I would very much.”

God, he was so not my type. I was gonna have to put my mouth on his. He has a mustache too! Well, if Tommy looked like Cillian did in Free Fire— I wouldn’t be opposed to it.

I scoffed before giving him a sultry smile. “Well, I am. Alone.”

“Ah!” He drawled out while closing the distance between us.

He smelled rancid. I bit my tongue to stop my face from contorting in disgust.

“How about I buy another round for us, huh?”

I kept my smile as I replied. “That would be great!”

I had to entertain this guy for a while till he suggested that we should do somewhere more private. That meant going up to his hotel room. I accepted and “drunkenly” walked with him to the elevator.

I did nothing as he slammed my limp body against the wall of the elevator as basically inhaled my mouth. I let him grope my body and my only solace was knowing we would be in his room any second and the grip I had on my clutch. 

The elevator finally stopped and he took a step back from me. I panted for breath as I covered my mouth. He looked down at me as if he’d won something. As if he was saying, “There’s more where that came from.”

He yanked the gate of the elevator back and tugged me forward. I said nothing and followed him. I clinged to his arm as he led us to his room. Once he opened the door, he was on me again. 

I could feel him bend down and his hand tapped my thigh. I jumped on his command and wrapped myself around him, clutch still in-hand. He walked us into the room, slamming the door shut using his foot. Then, he walked us over to the bed and threw me on it. 

I groaned on impact and I let my clutch fall to the ground. He climbed over me, pressed his mouth on mine, and started to hike up my dress. My hands clawed at his. I desperately tried preventing him from hiking up my dress. 

‘I am still in control.’ I thought.

I did a quick maneuver, so that I was on top of him.

“What the fuck!”

“Please.” I said. “Let me take care of everything.”

In an instant, the look of anger vanished from his face into a shit-eating grin.

“You want me this badly, huh? Well, go on. Get to it.” 

I kissed him a couple of more times before I began to unbutton his shirt. I left a trail of kisses behind. Then, swung my leg off of him. I rose to my feet. I pretended to take off my heels, but I was really picking up my clutch. 

I could hear his exciting panting which told me he was focusing on the pleasure and not on me. I quickly opened my clutch and took out the syringe. I let my clutch fall to the floor twice to mimic the sound of shoes falling to the ground.

I walked to the end of the bed, keeping the syringe hidden by holding it vertical in my palm against my arm. I placed it carefully by his feet and then began taking off his shoes. 

When his feet were bare, he finally spoke. 

“Hurry up, will you? For fuck’s sake.”

I uncapped the syringe, stuck it between his big toe and the second, and then emptied its contents. I watched as horror contorted his face. His eyes went wide as his jaw slacked. 

I cleared my throat as I wiped my mouth. I walked over to where I left my clutch, picked it up, and laid it on the bed. I could hear him let out pathetic little gasps. I leaned over his face, his eyes looking up at the ceiling. 

“Don’t worry. It’ll all be over soon. In a few minutes, actually.” I looked at him and felt nothing. With my finger, I stroked his cheek. “I’ve been ordered to make your death look natural. I don’t know why nor do I care to know. However-!” I gripped his chin and made him look at me. “I know you were a very bad man who did very bad things, especially to women.” I smiled and while pursing my lips I said. “See this as your karma.” I chuckled while letting go of my grip on his chin. 

The same time I rose to my feet, I could hear the laughter of men.

‘What the fuck? What were they planning a gangbang?’

I reached down and slid out the knife I hid in my heel. I quickly turned around and slit his throat. He instantly started gurgling. Two men entered the room, not altered. They came in while talking to one another. I held out an arm to steady my aim and then threw my knife at one of them. 

The man fell to the ground while barely clutching his chest. 

I made work of the armchair between me and the man still standing. While he had taken out his gun, it wouldn’t help as I launched myself from the chair, my knee hitting his chest, and knocking him down. 

I took the gun from his grasp, turned ‘round to the man who was holding my knife, and fired two shots. One to the heart and one to the chest. 

I looked down at the man with my heel on his throat. “Are there more coming?”

“Fuck you.”

I pressed down harder. “Are there more coming?” I shouted.

“Yes.”

I shot him in the head, hurried over to the door, and then crouched down. I could hear men approaching. They were talking loudly, probably exchanging orders. I waited until one came into my view. 

There were two of them. I grabbed the one closest to me and his gun went off. He turned to me to which I did not waste the opportunity to shoot him twice in the chest. The other guy used that time I was focused on his partner to grab my wrist and move my gun away from his head. With a grip still on my wrists, I grunted out in pain as he began to deliver blows to my side.

I whipped my head forward and then back. He cried out loudly. I fought to free myself from his grip. I managed to twist myself around in his arms and send a blow to his inner thigh that had him buckling. I gained some control just in time to shoot the man who was walking in, but his grip on me was still strong. He rose to his feet, threw my arms on top of the armchair, and disarmed me. 

I quickly elbowed him in the face and his head flew back. I composed myself and readied myself for his next attack. He tried punching me, but I blocked it. He attempted it again, but I grabbed his wrist in time to notice the figure creeping up in my vision.

I made the decision to flip up onto the ground, effectively avoiding machine gun fire. I kept my grip on his arm tight to the point where he was moaning in pain. I guided us up and used him as my shield. My focus was completely on the man holding the machine gun. 

The man I was holding was begging his comrade not to shoot, but I was more concerned by how close he was getting. I walked us forward, threw him to his friend, and quickly sent the man who was holding the machine gun— a punch to his face. I quickly latched onto the machine gun.

The man I threw, sprung back up and before he could attack, I sent him flew back with a kick to the chest. I elbowed the man holding the machine gun again which made him hold onto the trigger. I aimed to gun at the other man, killing him. I couldn’t help but smile as he was sent back with his hands flailing in the air.

The man who was attached to the gun got a grip on my hair. I grunted in pain as he twirled us around to a different airchair in the room. I got a better grip on the gun and drove it into his chest. He let out sharp yelp. I hit him with the gun again, this time in the face.

Though I felt an arm wrapped around my neck, I kept my cool and drove my elbow into his torso. He groaned. I gripped the arm that was wrapped around my neck and then used my other hand to get a grip on the back of his neck. I flipped him off me and onto the armchair. Which he fell off of. 

I didn’t waste anytime retrieving my knife back, kicking the body off of my blade with a disgusted cry. Once I slid back in my knife, I hurried over to the body, scooped up some of his blood, and smeared it on my face and chest. I, also, grabbed a gun and finished off the other two I had knocked out.

I walked into the hallway and when the voices of men were near my proximity— I began crying out for help. 

One of them held me in his arms. I tried my hardest to appear distraught and pleaded with them to help the man I had killed. The man holding me led me to the elevator and promised to get me to safety. 

As we were on the elevator, my hands skimmed over his second gun in his waist holster. 

‘That’ll come in handy.’

When the elevator ride was over, he sat me down and ordered me not to move. As he turned away, I took the liberty of relieving him of his gun. I was on my feet not a heartbeat later. I blended in with the stampede of people who were rushing to get out of the hotel. 

When I separated from the herd, I reached down, tore a piece of my dress and hopefully, wiped away the blood on my face. I ran down two streets to nick a car.

It would be an understatement to say that I’m angry.  

I yanked off the wig I was wearing as I was driving, pins ‘n all. I ruffled my hair out while huffing. My eyes drifted to the middle of the car, looking for a clock. I groaned when I remembered what time period I was living in. 

With one hand threaded in my hair and the other on the wheel, I just focused on getting to the mansion as fast as I could. 

I was going over my conversation with Dom in my head before it happened.

Was I going to accuse him of not giving me all the Intel on purpose? Was I going to swallow my anger and just demand proper compensation for the additional kills? Would I even be  docked pay because the hit was ordered as a natural death, and it ultimately was very fucking messy?

I huffed and finally placed both of my hands on the wheel while increasing my pressure on the gas. 

I pulled up to the mansion with a screeching halt. I ignored the henchmen that came toward me and tried to prevent me from storming the place. I made a beeline to Dom's office and hurt anyone who got in my way. 

I pushed open the double doors so harshly, they slammed against the wall. 

"We need to talk." I demand. 

I could hear the beginnings of spluttering behind me. "S-Sir! We tried to stop her, but the orders and sh-she fought back."

Dom didn't turn around as he continued to gaze out the window. A glass in his dominant hand. With a flick of his wrist, he said. "Leave us."

His henchman attempted to plead so more, but Dom repeated himself— louder this time. 

With a clear voice, I said. “There were other men.” I let out a huff and sucked at my teeth for showing my emotions so blatantly. “He orchestrated nonconsensual orgies! I took out the ones that posed a threat.” I let my voice trail off as I began to rub my wrist incessantly.

“How many?” He asked.

I swallowed silently as I tried to recall. “Not including the target, seven extra kills.”

“Were you hurt?”

I furrowed my eyebrows at the questions. Of course, I had to fight for my life. Of course, I was hurt. “Uh, yes. I was dealt a few blows but I didn’t sustain any slashes or gunshot wounds.”

“No, Aliena. Were you hurt?”

There was an insinuation behind his words that I understood perfectly. “No.” I whispered. “No, I held my own.” 

Dom finally turned around and I could see the anger in his face. It was subtle.

I remember a time where I swore I could never read faces. But I don’t know ever since I woke up here, my body hasn’t been the same. Maybe it was this body, or perhaps it was all that time I spent with Tommy.

He slammed his glass down, which made me flinch, and then leaned against his desk. He let out a shuddering breath before he sniffed loudly, stood up straight, and pointed at me. “The target was an important one for which you would have been paid 25,500. However, now it will be 43,800. Now, leave. I’ll have Richard give you the payment tomorrow.”

I was stunned for a second before I bowed and left the house as fast as a cat running out of a rainstorm. It wasn’t until I was out on the road that I realized that I had bowed to him as if he were some fucking king!

‘Damn you and your kinks! You bloody better beaut!’ I thought. My actions spurred on my “tics” or fidgets, I call them. I was repeatedly flicking my nose, scrunching up my face, and smacking my hand over my mouth. They calmed down after a while. Exhaustion was eating me up as was pain in my side.

The fucker really got me there.

Usually, I would have ditched the car a few cities back and just run on back home, but I was so tired. I ditched the car down a hill where I knew there had been water at the end and marched back home with my wig in hand. 

When I was finally standing in front of the flat’s door, I groaned to myself. I slapped my cheeks repeatedly as I prepared myself to get back into stealth mode. I made sure to step on certain spots on the floor to decrease their squeaks, and open and close doors at a snail’s pace. The stairs were the hardest. Switching between taking one and two at a time. 

By the time I entered my room, I’d ripped my clothes off me and thrown them and my wig aside. I carelessly put on a night gown and settled myself into bed. Fortunately, soon after my head hit my pillow I was asleep.

“Aliena, love! It’s time to get up!” Polly shouted as she pounded her fist against my door.

I shot up and realized I was awake now. My face contorted as I began to sob, my arms crossing over my eyes the same time as I threw myself back down on my bed.

I whimpered out. “I’m so tired!”

TAG LIST: @amirahiddleston @nemesis729​ @salvatoreitmeanssaviour @tlfshelby1 @halepea @lilymurphy03 @marsfireeyes @masumiyetimziyanoldu @i-love-superhero​ @thatweirddaydreamer​ @xxbeckybeexx-blog​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch

[sir-silly]

The Last War fan review

So, our beloved show has ended. And while I wish things would have gone differently, I did cry with relief when Clarke looked over and saw everyone already waiting for her.

Anyway, I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the finale.

1) Going right into the title sequence kind of shocked me. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but I was just immediately like “oh.” It was a bitch-slap in the face that they left a gap in the credits for Bob Morley. Why you gotta do us like that?

2) Murphy screaming “come on” while they used the defibrillator on Emori was heartbreaking. And his little whispered encouragements were so freaking cute.

3) Clarke rampage? Yes, please! I love me a badass woman. However, unlimited ammo is a sin in writing. The moment Octavia picked up the sword was a big “oh yes.”

4) Did Cadogan not care about his son like at all? Lmao. Why is he so hung up on Callie and not his other kid (who I can’t even remember the name of). I don’t care if they explain in the prequel, that’s still a shitty parent choosing favorites. Along with his wife, like, was she not his greatest love? It was Callie? Kinda fucked up.

5) Why the fuck could Jordan figure out it was a test and not a war in 5 seconds when the Disciples were studying that shit for decades? I know he’s Monty’s son, but he’s not a genius or anything.

6) Thoughts on the test: I think Cadogan would have failed and the human race would be destroyed. Why bother asking questions if you already know all the answers?

7) Why wasn’t Gaia in the finale like at all?? Like, what the fuck. She was hunting??? For what?? That really annoyed me because I’ve grown to really like her and there was no point in her not being involved in the last episode. They seriously couldn’t have thrown her in there? Like, come on! Even Niylah was there! (not saying that I don’t like her, it’s just that Gaia has felt far more important to the story than her).

8) I do think that Jasper and Hope are cute together, and I know they spent the majority of their lives either alone or only with their parents, but GOD I can’t stand how awkward they are. Also, I know ya’ll have feelings for each other and shit, but is now really the time to be making out?? Why do people think that’s okay in literally the worst situations? I know it’s a show, but come on.

9) And how the fuck did Jordan throw and catch that sword? He’s a child who’s never fought a day in his life. Unless they suddenly want to tell me that Harper and Monty were secret ninjas and taught him all their tricks, I don’t believe that.

10) I’m being pissy and bringing up things from the past, but I don’t care. Why the fuck couldn’t Harper and Monty gone into cryo? I know they were happy and shit, but I’M NOT. How the fuck did it take so long for him to get into the files for Sanctum? His ass has done that shit a thousand times before in about two minutes and suddenly it takes him 80 years? Bullshit.

11) I’m still being pissy, but how the fuck does Jordan know what a magician is? “For my first trick, I will make an army appear.” Bruh, no. Monty wouldn’t have known what a magician was either. If they weren’t being taught what a Navy Seal was, there’s no way they knew what magicians were. Calling bullshit on that one as well.

12) I was pretty surprised that the Disciples didn’t start firing on Wonkru immediately. Like, this is the war they’ve been gearing up for forever and they don’t attack as soon as possible? Also, where the fuck did Wonkru get their war paint? Do they just constantly have it on their person? Or did their asses literally spend time making their paint before going to Bardo?

13) I fucking love Miller and Jackson. They’re freaking adorable. Murphy’s flat “I am glad you are safe” was so fucking funny. Also, saving Emori in one scene just to kill her in the next is bullshit. They should have just killed her the first time and done the same thing anyway. Murphy screaming at Jackson to do something and sobbing was heartbreaking. Fantastic acting on Richard Harmon’s part.

14)  Octavia putting on Lincoln’s same warpaint again was once again, so sad. I miss that man. He was too good for his own good. And while I do think that her and Levitt are very cute together, I’ll always prefer her with Lincoln. But I think that he would be really happy that she has found someone new to love.

15) Apparently whatever Echo “did” to Levitt was so forgettable that I don’t even know what she’s talking about. Bad writing. I shouldn’t forget that in just a few weeks, I should remember as soon as I see the two of them in the same room.

16) Lexa. Just all of it. There were some suspicions that she would show up for the last episode, but I didn’t really believe them because I didn’t understand how she would be integrated. I’m glad that they did bring her back, but I’m also not. It was amazing to see her back by Clarke in all of her armor and glory, but knowing it wasn’t actually Lexa was just a punch in the face. It wasn’t her mind, so it’s almost like they didn’t bring her back anyway. I honestly would have preferred if they used someone else for her Judge, because that just really didn’t do it for me. Their hug was sweet, but it didn’t even count as her returning. I personally think that her Judge should have been Bellamy or Madi instead, as they both certainly could fill the role of “the subject’s greatest teacher or the source of their greatest failure...it can be their greatest love.” This is just my preference. Believe me, I know how much Lexa meant to Clarke, but as a fan, bringing our favorite Heda back in that way wasn’t the best way to do it. As a writer, it makes sense, but it doesn’t as a fan. The writers can’t just think of what is the best storytelling, they have to think of what those watching will think.

17) I’m confused about the mindspace? Why did Clarke wake up in her solitary room with her memories painted all over the walls, but Emori woke up in the castle with a view of the desert? Why wouldn’t it have been her and Murphy’s cave? Is there a reason it was the bedroom and not the cave?

18) I know this isn’t canon in any sense, but could you imagine if Murphy and Emori fought over John’s body and she won, and then suddenly woke up with a penis? How fucking funny would that be? Just had to throw that out there.

19) Can I just again reiterate how fucking cute Miller and Jackson are?

20) I’m curious about the location of the test. Why did Cadogan’s take place on a pier, while Raven’s happened on the Ark? If it was their favorite place, wouldn’t Raven’s have been actually out in space? Like during a spacewalk? I’m confused about that.

21) I knew that Raven was somehow going to be involved in the test just because of the trailers we got for the final episode. My two guesses for who the judge would be were Finn and Abby. Though I am happy that we got to see Abby again, I would be curious to see if the scene would have played out any differently if it had been Finn.

22) Where was the full line that was given in the trailer? Because that was amazing. “We’re selfish, and we’re violent, and we have destroyed too much, but we survived.” I loved that line far more than what we got instead, which was simply, “Have we made mistakes? Yes. Clarke, me, all of us, but we were just trying to survive.” I definitely would have chosen the former over the latter. Poor choice on the editors’ parts.

23) How the fuck did Octavia and Echo go out to the field and get Levitt with Echo only being shot once? With all the bullets, the three of them should have been torn apart, I don’t care how much Indra could cover Octavia. Calling bullshit on that as well.

24) Bringing this up kind of late because I’m giving my reviews as I’m rewatching the episode, but what they had Eliza do was really fucked up. Her and Bob suffered a miscarriage during the filming of season seven, so the scene of her holding Madi and crying “my baby” is like 10 times more heartbreaking. If they made her film that after having a miscarriage mere days, weeks or few months before, that’s really, really messed up.

25) They really played-up Sheidheda’s bringing back of “jus drein jus daun” in the trailer. In reality, it was far less intense. I would have preferred what I had been expecting, which was him coming to help convince Wonkru that they would be able to win. However, I am super glad that he is dead and Indra finally got to kill him. I love how that bigass gun just turns people into mist lol.

26) The beginning of Octavia’s speech was literally like “what the FUCK guys” and it was hilarious. And I swear to god if I hear her say “we are Wonkru” or “you are Wonkru” another time, I’m gonna scream. I know it was legit the last episode but I’m sick of it by now lol. When Indra was like “I hope you know what you’re doing,” Octavia’s face was just like “omg me too” and it was really funny.

27) Bellamy. His situation was a whole problem itself. He deserved a hell of a lot better and wHY DID HE CUT HIS HAIR I LIKED IT THE LONG WAY. Anyway, you can bet your ass I’ll be writing a different ending where he didn’t die because FUCK THAT. When I do, I’ll be sure to share it.

28) I’m fucking confused about Murphy and Emori both transcending. Because, what the fuck. Emori died. The dead don’t transcend. Her mind wasn’t even in her body, it was in Murphy’s. So how the fuck did she end up alive and in her own body again. I’m glad she’s alive, but I just don’t understand. It would have made way more sense to have either not had her die in the first place, or to have Murphy, Miller, and Jackson keep pumping her heart so she technically “lived” anyway like Echo.

29) If Madi had decided not to transcend, would she still have been paralyzed? I mean, I would assume not because Levitt and Hope’s gunshots were healed, as was Emori, but I’m curious. Also, wouldn’t Raven’s leg have been fixed? Because if they only fix recent wounds and not old ones, that’s stupid.

30) On the point of Madi deciding not to transcend, why did she? Why didn’t so many other people choose not to? Like, not one Eligius prisoner or person from Sanctum chose to live? No one else from Wonkru? Why didn’t anyone else other than the main cast and guest stars not transcend? I totally understand the Disciples transcending, but seriously, nobody else wanted to live? That’s really weird. Madi and her friends really couldn’t have chosen to live on Earth with Clarke and the others? I just think it’s really unrealistic that not one single person outside of the group chose not to transcend.

31) I was really surprised that Murphy and Emori chose not to transcend, because as the Judge said, they would eventually die and not join them in the infinite. It shocked me due to their fear of dying and wanting to be immortal, but I’m really proud of them.

32) I’m disappointed that those who don’t transcend can’t have children. There were suspicions that Emori might have been pregnant (which were never confirmed), but the idea of her and Murphy having a kid together was adorable. They’d have their teeny tiny families with those two, Hope and Jordan, and Octavia and Levitt.

33) This isn’t as much me pointing out a problem as me wondering, what was Clarke going to say to the Judge when she turned around? What else did she have to say or ask? Was it about Madi? Or maybe Lexa? Or just transcending in general?

34) It’s pretty shitty that some of our questions went unanswered due to the fact that there will be a prequel. On the other hand, I live for lore, so I’m just glad that they eventually will be answered. But still, that doesn’t excuse shitty writing.

35) I want to see a stupid edit of Picasso taking the test where the Judge is Madi.

I think we all know that season seven was really not what we wanted it to be. We’ve been really disappointed by the writers and unfortunately, this is what we got out of it. I believe they really could have done a better job, but I am at least glad that everyone ended up together.

The writing was lacking. Too many questions were left unanswered, I don’t care if you’re making a sequel or not. Plot holes. It really could have been a good season if it was done better.

My ranking of the seasons is as follows: 3, 2, 4, 1, 6, 5, 7. Seasons 4 and 1 are kind of interchangeable for me in spots three and four, as are 6 and 5 in the two spots behind them, whatever the order may be.

But I still love the show. I love the characters, their development, and many things about it. It has been quite the journey and I am glad to have been a fan of the show.

May we meet again.

[spaceorphan18]

What would you say to people who believe Blaine manipulated Kurt into getting engaged? In the season 6 breakup's deleted script, Kurt said that Blaine did that and that he felt forced to say yes. Of course, it's a deleted scene, and there's no true canonical evidence that Kurt feels that way, but I've always been torn on the subject. Kurt's face throughout the proposal was also a little confusing, he looks very overwhelmed, though I can't tell if it's in a good or bad way.

What would you say to people who believe Blaine manipulated Kurt into getting engaged?

Nonny, I think you’ve been reading too much Kurt meta done by people who don’t like Blaine.  ;)

God, this is a total flashback to 2014 when the Better Boyfriend Olympics were alive and well, lol.  Oh, Nonny <3 

Alright, let’s pull up a chair and have a discussion.  

In the season 6 breakup's deleted script, Kurt said that Blaine did that and that he felt forced to say yes. Of course, it's a deleted scene, and there's no true canonical evidence that Kurt feels that way, but I've always been torn on the subject.

Okay, first, let’s talk about this thought.  I’ve bolded the part in this comment that matters -- you’ve hit the nail on the head, Nonny.  

Talking as a writer, I need to say something about scripts, deleted scenes, and other things not done in canon -- a lot of times, in drafts, people write things that may not work or fit -- that’s why they’re drafts.  There’s a reason the scripted break up wasn’t the episode -- because it wasn’t the best way to tell the story they wanted to tell. 

In addition, a lot of that speech in the script reeks of the writers listening to what Blaine-hating Kurt fans had to say about the whole thing.  Glee had a tendency to over do it when breaking the fourth way to address commentary and criticism.  They did this with Brittana fans when Brittany and Sam get together, basically telling the lesbian bloggers to shut up and deal with it.  Doing so in the episode went too far (imo) -- and leaving Kurt’s comments in would have felt out of character and too much meta-ish commentary.  

That said -- totally wasn’t in the episode, and as you’ve said, there’s not true canonical evidence that Kurt feels that way. 

***

Addressing a few more things -- 

1. Blaine being manipulative.  

He’s not.  He does like to be in control of things, but that’s not the same thing as manipulation (and there’s a firm argument about how Kurt has far more manipulative tendencies -- see season 1).  Putting this particular incident more in context... first of all, keep in mind that from the break up to hooking up in I Do is only six months, most of which, Kurt and Blaine I wouldn’t call fully, 100% broken up -- more so just broken.  Then, he’s part of a school shooting, and while it wasn’t a real school shooting, it still has an effect -- he wants to feel security from the love he and Kurt share.  

As for the proposal itself -- Blaine knows exactly how Kurt wants his proposal to be -- and is going a bit overboard on the romanticism.  It’s not motivated by manipulation though.  It’s motivated by the fact that he wants to prove to Kurt that he can meet all of Kurt’s fantasies and demands.  (Which he does btw.)  Blaine does not have a secret agenda -- his heart is most firmly on his sleeve a majority of the time.  

2. The idea that Kurt doesn’t want to be proposed to, married, etc, etc.  

This is a little more complex of an issue to get into in a single ask, but let’s see if I can boil this down to its essence: 

Kurt has stated multiple times to Finn and Rachel that he doesn’t believe in young marriages -- this belief is already embedded in his psyche before he and Blaine get engaged, and part of that stubborn belief (whether it be right or wrong) seeps into his later issues in his own relationship. 

Kurt got very, very hurt by Blaine cheating on him -- and by the time they got back together, Kurt was dipping his toe in the pool while Blaine had already gone into the deep end.  Kurt needed some time to work his way back out to the deep end of the pool, and Blaine pulling Kurt out to the deep end before he was ready didn’t mean that he didn’t want to go swimming there, just that he was going faster than he had expected, and wasn’t given enough time to adjust. 

A lot of time in media, the proposal/marriage is the end of the story.  Here - it’s the middle of the story, and plays a different role in said story.  Kurt has doubts - but not doubts about loving Blaine, or wanting to be with Blaine the rest of his life.  As said in point 2, he got very hurt, and he isn’t ready yet - that combined with his belief that people shouldn’t get married so young (along with a few other issues) is what leads to the second break up.  

That doesn’t mean that Kurt doesn’t love his proposal.  Kurt is very romantic minded -- and the proposal was everything he could have ever dreamed of.  He’s emotionally overwhelmed during the scene, because it’s more than he could have ever dreamed of.  And I’d like to reiterate that this isn’t out of nowhere -- not only have the idea that Kurt and Blaine previously talked about marriage and long term plans for their relationship, but it’s also been set up that Kurt loves surprise proposals, weddings, romantic gestures (see All or Nothing, the episode previous, for high examples.) 

The thing that always gets me about the manipulation argument though... Do people really think that Kurt would ever, ever be manipulated into something he didn’t want to do?  Kurt’s a very strong-minded character, and is not so easily swayed into (or out of) something.  If Kurt didn’t want to get married... if he didn’t want to be proposed to... if he didn’t want the thing, he wouldn’t have let it happen.  

3. The idea that relationships need to be perfect

The whole thing about the Better Boyfriend Olympics was the fact that each side of it felt the other wasn’t good enough for their favorite.  And it stems from this weird idea that in order to be good enough to be a romantic partner for said favorite -- the romantic partner must bow down at the alter of favorite and not ever do anything wrong.  The relationship, to maybe over simplify, must be perfect.  When it wasn’t -- people liked to point fingers and blame the other side.  And come up with anything they could to help prove their point that their favorite was the better one and/or deserved better. 

Man, it was the most annoying thing. 

The thing that I always liked, and appreciated about Klaine was the idea that we have two very flawed characters working through their issues.  Sometimes they sucked at it. Sometimes one of them wasn’t the greatest.  But that made them feel more fleshed out and well rounded as characters.  Relationships can be problematic, that doesn’t mean they’re wholly bad.  They have issues.  People aren’t perfect, and shouldn’t be held to such ridiculous standards.  

Look, Nonny, if you don’t feel the scene, you don’t feel it, and I don’t think anything I say or do can change your mind if it doesn’t. And that’s totally fair and fine.  But -- all I can say is keep in mind where your biases may lie and/or what kind of filters are overlaying your interpretation of the scene.  

If you’d like more reading on Love Love Love, I’d suggest my meta: Finding Kurt Hummel - Love, Love, Love

If you like podcasts, I know we go deeper into the subject on various TDB Podcasts: TDB Podcast List 

Tl;dr version - Blaine is not manipulative, the script should not be taken as canonical evidence of anything, and Kurt was emotionally overwhelmed and deeply touched by a very grand romantic gesture that was presented to him.  

[facelessfrey]

I woke up mad and have been mad all day so let’s discuss the disrespectful absurdity that was Bellamy’s death on the 100 some more. 

JRoth’s tweet really pissed me off a lot. Ultimately, he’s not wrong when he says the 100 has always been a dark show about hard choices and what people would do to survive. It’s just that I don’t think any of that played into Bellamy’s death at all. I’ve been thinking about all of the other major character deaths across the seasons and how, even the ones I hated and have massive issues with, still somehow seem more respectful to the characters than what he did to Bellamy. Keep reading for the rant:

Season 1 - Wells (and to an extent Charlotte)

Wells - Wells is a bit of a tricky one since it happened so fast and I know there are people still upset about it. But it set the tone for the show, the tone that JRoth is so proud of and referencing for Bellamy’s death. But I think you can get away with a shock value death in season one to kick things off. They also set up the situation fairly well, playing up just how harsh things are on the ark, that most of their parents had been floated. I can understand how Charlotte, who is just a child, reached that conclusion, especially with Bellamy’s maybe misguided advice (although that’s clearly not what he meant). I also don’t know that there was really a place for another presumably male lead in season one alongside Bellamy and Finn. So I get it. But also, Wells still had a chance to repair things with Clarke before he was killed. She discovered the truth and knew that he lied to protect her. He didn’t die with her hating him. It was a truncated arc, but it was something. 

Charlotte - And arguably, Charlotte’s death kind of needed to happen. There wasn’t really any way for her to continue on with them after what she’d done and at least it was her choice, however tragic it all was. 

Season 2 - Finn and Maya

Finn - As with Wells, Finn’s death is something I think you can get away with and can be viewed as edgy in an early season. It’s upping the stakes and reminding you that this is a show that will put these characters in impossible situations. And they still had a male lead left in Bellamy, plus Murphy and Jasper and even a character like Miller were rising in the ranks and there to fill in the gaps. Plus a whole host of new characters. Killing Finn was a gutsy move but one I could respect. They took him down a dark path and instead of absolving him for it because he was a main character, they made him pay for it. But unlike Bellamy, Finn realized what he did was wrong. He couldn’t live with the guilt. He couldn’t live with the way Clarke was looking at him. He knew the truce with the Grounders was important and he knew he was the key. He made the choice to give himself up. He had agency. He got to have one last escape attempt with his friends, say his goodbyes to everyone. And even still, they let him die with some amount of dignity rather than being tortured to death. And Clarke killing him worked in a way her killing Bellamy doesn’t. What he did was directly tied to her. Only she could forgive him in those final moments. There were multiple episodes of build up to this death, it was the story of the whole episode it happened in. It was expected but also a bold move for the show. 

Maya - This was a death about hard choices and survival. The audience had grown to like Maya throughout the season, seeing her stand up for what was right and going against her own people. She didn’t deserve the end she got. But Clarke and Bellamy and Monty were put in an impossible situation and it was either the lives of all their friends and family or death in a very inhumane way because the mountain never would have stopped. And the way it was set up, with us and them watching Raven and Abby being drilled into, the choice was painful but clear. And it had been building to this moment for an entire season. 

Season 3 - Lexa and Lincoln

Lexa - Lexa had arguably one of the most controversial deaths on the show. And I know there were behind the scenes reasons for it with the actress having another show to film. I don’t know how much availability she would have had. I don’t know how necessary it was to remove her from the narrative. I don’t want to get into it I will just assume for these purposes, that she had to be killed off. And I’ve always said with respect to Lexa, that I didn’t mind that they killed her off, it was how they did it. But compared to Bellamy’s death, even her controversial one feels less disrespectful to the character. It may be worse due to lesbian death tropes and that’s a larger issue, but in terms of the show story, I don’t think it was as bad. First of all, she was only a character for a season and a half. Second, her death directly affected the plot that had been hinted at all season and carried out in a major way through the rest of it. Now I hate that she died immediately after having sex by a stray bullet from a guy who should not have been holding a gun in the first place. I hate it. I would have much rather she went down fighting or stepping in front of a bullet for Clarke or something. But at least she got to finally resolve things with Clarke. They reconciled. They said they loved each other. She knew was was going to die at the end and she got to have her final moments with Clarke. Clarke got to do the whole may we meet again speech. Despite the issues, it was a beautiful moment. 

Lincoln - This death has always been the one that pissed me off the most. Again I know there were behind the scenes issues and he also had another show. Again I don’t know how much filming availability he would have or how necessary his death was. Again, let’s assume it was because people can’t just go off somewhere else for a new start on this show. But I still always hated how he went out, being executed in the mud. He should have gone down fighting at the very least. However, even more at the very least, because that’s what we’re getting into here, Lincoln did die because he was defending his people. That’s the bare minimum here but at least he had that. He was true to himself. I hated that he didn’t really get a final moment with Octavia, but hey, at least she was present. Extremely low bar but still, better than Bellamy’s death from a writing perspective. 

Season 4 - Jasper (Roan, Illian, Luna)

Jasper - Jasper’s is a sad tale. He spent two seasons basically completely depressed after the events of season two. There really wasn’t anywhere else to take his character at that point, so I understood and was ready for him to go. It made sense as an end for his character and he got to go out on his own terms and not take the spot in the bunker of someone who truly wanted to live. He got to have his final moments with Monty. It was a good end for him. 

Roan, Illian and Luna - I wouldn’t call them major characters per say, perhaps Roan and Luna but we got to know all of them fairly well. They were expendable characters for the most part but they at least got to die fighting for their people and that’s a respectable way to go out. 

Season 5 - Jaha, Monty and Harper

Jaha - Jaha was a character who did go down a sort of cult path. It probably would have been easy to kill him off in season 3 as a result of that. And if it had been a high stakes, last resort, have to kill Jaha to get to ALIE to save everyone, I could have respected that. But they didn’t. They let him survive that. They let him see the error of his ways. He spent season four determined to save his people from what he helped to unleash. He didn’t do it in the right way but even then, finally, in season 5, he was redeemed a bit, helping to maintain the peace in the bunker and helping Octavia gain control. And he had Octavia and Marcus and Abby there at his end. It was fitting. He got to say his goodbyes. 

Monty and Harper - I was very sad to say goodbye to them but they went out on their own terms. They got probably the happiest ending out of anyone on this show. They got to live their lives how they chose and be together and having a son. And they did all of that while finding a way to give their friends, their family, their people a fresh start. And they got to say goodbye, albeit through video, but it was touching and lovely. 

Season 6 - Shaw, Kane and Abby

Shaw - Shaw was another one that was killed off because he had another show, which is fine. It sucked for Raven and it was sad the character only got one season. Although considering the seasons that followed, I think he should count himself lucky really. But again, he died helping out his friends and Raven. It was a sacrifice and he knew what he was doing. 

Kane - Again, another person who had other commitments. And they did some weird body swap stuff to extend his time a little longer. But I loved that they had actual Kane there at the end anyway to say goodbye to Abby even if it wasn’t really him that she was seeing. It was a nice touch, and a better way to say goodbye to the character. He also chose to let go. It was on his terms and he got his goodbye with Abby. And there were good parallels to floating both men she loved. 

Abby - I’m not fond of the way they killed off Abby since she was basically dead once they took over her body. So that was unfortunate. But at least prior to the body swapping, she did have that last scene with Clarke where they kind of reconciled. And if I recall, she had some last moments with Jackson and Raven too. And those matter. 

Season 7 - Diyoza and Bellamy

Diyoza - By season seven, I’m honestly kind of over major character deaths. I don’t really want them. I just want to see these characters that I love survive all of the trauma of the show and find peace, but I understand that I’m never going to get that. It’s fine. I was sad to see Diyoza go, but her sacrificing herself for her daughter, for the people who became her family, kind of “for all mankind” to use a phrase I hate now, was a fitting way for her to go out since she was introduced to us as a terrorist. And she got to say her goodbyes. This is clearly an important theme for me. 

Bellamy - And then we circle back to my rage. Bellamy kind of took the path of Finn in a way, or perhaps his season 3 arc, which he didn’t really pay for so much. Not the way Finn did anyway because all of a sudden Blood must not have Blood. Plus, Pike was the rightful scapegoat for all of that. But this season saw Bellamy get caught up in yet another man’s bullshit idea of what was right. That was frustrating enough, but I guess it was somewhat in character. It’s just all the more frustrating because the Second Dawn/Shepherd nonsense is just that, nonsense. His sudden anti grounder status in season 3 were motivations that made at least some sense. He’d been fighting them since day one basically. They betrayed them at Mount Weather, which meant they had to kill everyone there, which meant he lost Clarke. And then Echo’s betrayal killed his three episode girlfriend, Gina. Plus Pike was a man he’d respected on the arc. The motivations always felt fairly thin to me since Gina was so minor, but overall, they make sense. 

This season has been all over the place. The storylines have been mostly nonsensical. The nature of the different timelines meant that there were many episodes where we had to backtrack to fill in gaps, which meant the story was basically at a standstill for the whole middle of the season. We have zero sympathy for Bill and his cult followers. They’re not interesting. The Mount Weather people were brutal and doing terrible things, but I understood their need to survive. These Second Dawn people don’t have that same motivation. They’re fine. And so much of it is driven by the flame, which Bill wants for selfish reasons along with the stupid key code. He wants to know if there’s any of his daughter in there, which goes against all his teachings and what he’s trying to suck Bellamy into. And all of that is really just to set up a spinoff no one is going to want to watch at this point anyway after all of this. It’s kind of insulting. 

And we see all of this Bellamy development in one episode late in the season and then he just betrays all his friends and family. He only shows the slightest hint of questioning. He just flat out tells Echo she doesn’t matter more than the cult. He doesn’t even have a scene with just his sister. He gets one good scene with Clarke but then is like “eh torture her it’s fine”. And then we get to this episode, where he barely interacts with his friends that he’s with. They spend most of the episode rolling their eyes at him and mocking his clothing choices. They set up the stupid sketchbook in a rushed little scene with Madi and Clarke just so in the last thirty seconds Sheidheda, who my god should be dead now (Indra I’m looking at you), can say “hey check out that book”. And Bellamy picks up this book that we’ve seen like once or twice earlier in the season that was fairly inconsequential then. We don’t even fully understand what’s in it that’s so crucial that Bellamy can’t show Bill. And that’s what Clark shoots him for? Really? And shoots to kill? Which was highly unnecessary to get her hands on that book. And then she didn’t even take the stupid book in the first place. 

So Bellamy Blake, main male lead of the series, hero and leader to his people, gets murdered by his closest most trusted friend, his person, without getting to realize that the cult stuff was bullshit, without getting any chance to redeem himself, for a book that really doesn’t even seem to matter. And he dies alone. None of his family or friends are around. No one is reciting the may we meet again speech. He never got a final scene to reconcile with his sister. He never had any real final moments with anyone else. He just disappeared in the first five minutes of the premier, showed up eleven episodes later, a brainwashed cult follower and that’s how he died. That’s frankly bullshit. And a massive disservice to his character, to Clarke’s character, to the show. And the fact that they barely had Clarke try and shake him out of his brainwashing. The fact that his friends just mocked him instead of trying to help him. It’s just not what this show was built on. It’s not. It’s one absurdity after another. It’s insulting. 

And the fact that every other character I’ve listed here at least got something, some kind of minor positive to their passing but Bellamy got none of those things?! Not fighting for a cause or a people the audience is rooting for or siding with. And no final goodbyes with the people he loves. Even Clarke only did her crying once she went through the stupid portal. I’m just mad. I should feel devastated by his death, but at least feel like he died for something. He died for nothing and that’s the saddest part of it all.  

[kaetastic]

HISTORY UNFOLDS. 2/3

pairing: Finn Shelby x Reader, Luca Changretta x Reader, Deceased!John Shelby x Reader

summary: A favour that is pending to be fulfilled calls Y/N to Birmingham, from a very old friend. However, the youngest Shelby soon discovers her past with his deceased brother, John, and the one who had ordered the murdering, Luca Changretta.

word count: 15.4k 

warning: all sorts of angst, mentions of death, war, mentions of violence, mentions of firearm, mentions of blood, fluff, smut, profanities, age gap (read note)

note: okay, so- i was kind of pissed that we barely have finn content. anyways, i wanted to clear a few things about this writing. it is set place in season 4, john died and luca changretta has arrived for his vendetta. finn is 18, the reader is 37. the reader’s last name is stein :D hope you don’t mind, enjoy and have a good day!

Part 1 | Part 3

Darkness cast over the city. The trimmed ribbon of the black cloth wrapped around the sky with a tailor’s meticulous, delicate fingers. Although in Paris, stars would be vomited against the dim night, there was only a handful that embellished the sky of Birmingham. Threading through her legs were the silky sheets of her hotel bed which were merely thrown over her, to only droop over some parts of her exposed skin. When the civilians finally took notice of the cowering stars, the bustling noises had decreased as the arms of the clock tiptoed to the number four. It would’ve been easier for Y/N to sleep through; however, the milling thoughts in her head found no need to rest. A toothpick sat in her eyelids, obstructing the eyelids’ abilities to shut. A sleepless night while a smear of bitter honey spluttered across the sky, the bucket of paint had been kicked to slash against the grey painting. 

Despite her excessive amount of tossing and turning in the sheets, no position had been comfortable. To rest a limb in one spot for far too long was shoving the clenched muscles in a scorching furnace. Poking a toe out of the sheets tickled shivers up her spine while cuddling it under the covers were drenching her back in sweat. This was an issue she had already had a sorrowful farewell with. Well, she thought she had. Moments of too early in the morning like these were rare unless she was up working (not a good idea) or out for a party, she would've already been in the comfort of her bed. After having to already deal with it a few years ago, she had sat down with her bottle of vodka; she was in a conversation not even artillery would pull her away from. It should’ve been the past. After countless of huffs and exhausted groans, she laid on the side of her body as her eyes stared into the abyss of the early-morning sky which had been trespassing hints of the approaching sunrise. 

It seemed sleep was only an idea and her body being a court, disagreed vehemently. Nothing seemed to go hand-in-hand. Her body was prickling with heat, her fingers wanted to only caress her frigid guns and her mind had amused her by replaying the recent call she had received from her boys. 

“Y/N, twelve boxes are on their way. What are you doing up? It’s one am. Didn’t expect you to pick up. Are you drunk?” Once a hum echoed through Gavin’s ear, he let out a sigh while the sight played in his head. “Better head to bed, Thomas said he’ll be sending someone by midday, you’ll be needin’ good rest.”

“Yes, mom.” Gavin scoffed. The corners of Y/N’s lips curled up as she imagined him rolling his eyes at her offensive words.

“I’m not sure if you could recall but there was a customer you had… dealt with in the past, he goes by Edward Coleman,” Picking up from the singing silence, Gavin unwounded the story. “The coal guy,” When greeted with a continuation of silence, he let out a sigh. “The one who came in that bright green suit.”

“Oh yes, I do remember that one. A ghastly choice. I remembered I gave him a card to my tailor. Though, I don’t think he bothered to visit..,” Gavin hummed from the other side of the line. “Before Luca gave a piece of his mind…”

Her voice faltered to silence at the abrupt mention, Gavin raised his voice, slashing a blade through her train of thoughts before it could be dragged on. Having to be her assistant ever since the beginning of her business, he had been beside for most meetings. He had been the one she had gone to when she was in need of advice (a choice as he didn’t participate in petty jests unlike Dante who found solace in patching drenched cloth of gin in other people’s trousers). Gavin, accompanied by the two other men had comforted her while she downed on burning liquor; however, he was the only one left, the other two passed out on the ground of the club. With so, he had been her bank of moments that weaved through her and the infamous American-Italian mafioso, “Yes, that one. Two of the cargoes will arrive at his warehouse. We had dumped four previous boxes when ties were… cut. So, all that is left is your call with the man himself.”

The call ended before Y/N’s fingers glided over the rotary phone. After half a dozen of lines uttered out of her intoxicated lips, it led the woman to successful extortion.

Although she would’ve normally slept with a grin after the cooperation and good news, it was not one of those nights. Even the perfume she would spray whenever slumber decided to dispute and resist, held no effects against the exceptional night. A faint yet prominent incense danced in the bedroom. The scent of freshly blooming flowers tangled with the gentle kiss of the morning’s dew grass. The young scent of petals floating on the surface of a lake twirled in the air. 

Even though she had incessantly insisted, possibly nagging to Finn that he should take a good rest on the bed which was more comfortable than the rigid couches which she had noticed are only appealing to the eyes, not to the touch- he had declined every offer she placed onto the table. It was difficult for her to accept rejection because usually, it would only pour in oil to fuel her stubbornness. Without a doubt, she would fight until she had won, that was until a gentle yawn fell off his lips. Never would she forget the innocent lingering behind his eyes and the beads resting on his eyelids when the sound resembled like that of a meowing kitten played on her ears, she had decided to give it up and obligate to his idea. 

The frizzly laces embellishing the nightgown caressed her skin, pricking into her whenever she made a slight shift in her position. Her feet brushed over one another when her head had decided to replay back memories that used to bring butterflies to flutter in her stomach. Lifting her hand in the air, the moonlight twirled through the glass pane to create a terrifying shadow of her obstructive hand. The finger did not possess a necklace. Finn’s abrupt question mumbled in her head, echoing as if a voice had whispered in a grand, spacious room. Her fingers twirled around, dancing to a mellow rhythm as her eyes run over the empty finger. It was at least a year ago when there was a prominent mark that her skin wore, the imprint labelled her as a fragile woman, exposing her to fluttering eyes that dared to glance at her fingers to only be sold by the fact that she was a mere lady who had been another case left by a man. Nothing rings and gloves can’t hide.  

An ache in her chest thudded her hollow ribs, closer to the walls as if it desperately pleaded to burst out. Her head stared up straight, eyes tracing over the ceiling. The intricate and meticulously winding of gold around the white ceiling blared into her eyes. A staggering exhale filled the hefty air. Her eyes squeezed shut as tightly as possible as she rested her hand on her warm radiating chest. Clamming with sweat, her palms that clutched her hands dug it into her chest. It was as if it was yesterday, the scent of another woman’s perfume lingering in the air as if she had been splattered and dragged around the house. The scattered clothing that she knew she hadn’t owned painted the floor by trailing to the room she used to share with a man she would’ve called hers. If the ring was meant to label her as a taken woman but his heart was not set on hers, what was the point?

Even though it was four years of struggling hills, uncertain highs and sorrowful lows, it had always been him. She was so certain. Even other people would raise their voices to mention how the pair worked so well together. However, Luca seemed to always rant about it when they get home since he had believed that all they wanted to do was suck-up. Through so many incidents that would drive a couple into insanity, they had made it through, together. 

Only for a day to end a four-year commitment. A night he had claimed to be full of gushing tears that he had collected behind a dam for several weeks; a night he had chugged on bottles of liquor. To only end up in the same bed he had made love countless times with the woman he had sauntered up the marble stairs to the towering ranks of the firearm business, with another woman. A whore his cock found solace in. That’s what the Italian claimed his side of the story was. The tightening of her chest was like a curling hand squeezing the joy stuffed in a ball, collapsing her airway, leading to rapid intakes of air. She could hear her ribs crack, crying out as it pierced its blade-like fragments against her muscles. Gouging her fingers deep into the comforter that had started to fire up, a diamond splashed onto her pillow- he was not worth a cent for it. There were memories and moments she wished she could see purely, not this one. It was a haunting sight, an unforgettable tightening. 

Everything was vivid in her head. How badly she would like to smear that piece of memory with ashes of her cigarette. The unorganized bed she had arranged in the bright morning had been a routine before landing a kiss on the cheeks of who she thought would’ve been her forever loving husband. But no, he was a cheating man. A man who had escaped death multiple times. Bullets may have made home in her skin, but the moans of another woman in bed with the man she gave her heart to, it was that split fragment of toxic ammo that had embedded in her heart. 

Shooting up like a flick of a cocked shotgun, her body stood straight as heat pierced into her skin. A staggering breath left her dried-up lips once again while she tried to anchor herself in reality. Nothing played in her eyes nor a twinge of scent trickled in her nose. Without missing a second, she sprung off the bed to clamber towards the cart that possessed the liquids that could potentially save her from the reunion with her memories. Once she stood next to the closed doors, she yanked out the bulbous glass head before tilting the container, forcing it to vomit its content into her cup. His hoarse, raspy voice played in her ears. She could feel his soft and gentle brushes of his calloused fingers against her delicate skin while his frigid rings spiked shocks. The plan of filling the liquid to the maximum was cut off, she abandoned the idea before chugging the burning liquor down her parched hatch.

With few swallows, she gripped onto the golden stand, clutching it once she felt her legs quivered as if her cane had been snatched. The ringing in her ears caused her to smile when the torturous memory had halted; his voice was not heard, his touches were not felt. A blissful moment she had indulged herself in. As her legs gave up on her, the faint second of the flickering feeling overlapped with the ear-drumming loud crash she had caused; the sound she was oblivious to. But whoever watched her from the above despised the whole of her, enjoying the torturous memories even when she had a second of joy to find solace in. They played his hands caressing her arms with gentle care, a hand hovering over her waist as their bodies swayed in a slow beat. Before a soft kiss was pressed onto her cheeks, his musk rubbed onto her.

Finn’s body jolted up as if high volt of electricity had thrust through his veins. His heart palpitated in his ears. Worry overflowed in his body, without wasting a second of time, he barged into the room, slamming the door open with a pouncing heart. The sight left him perplexed and speechless for a minute before he was pulled back into reality. It seemed she had that effect on him. Something no one has ever done before. It was like a painting hung on lavish museum walls that had all the possible guards tolling over it, the sentinels guarded the precious and meticulously painted masterpiece with hawk-like peripherals. Sat on the floor was the bawling woman, a heavy sob squeezed out of her throat as her fingers clutched her thin nightgown. Glass seemed to haunt Finn as it painted the ground once again, flooding the floor around her but none had, thankfully, made home in her skin.

“Y/N.” Finn uttered, his eyes darted around the room to only see a few standing glass cups on the cart, half of its’ accompanies had already been murdered. Kicking the glass away to the side to create a clear path towards the fallen woman, Finn nudged himself through the route he had made, squeezing through the narrow alley. Her name fell off his lips; it was so saddening, full of pity and a twinge of concern. Springs of tears burst from her eyes as she bawled out with heavy breathing, her lungs bounced vertically, nearly squeezing out of her throat. 

“I’m sorry.” The amount of her mumbled apologies left Finn’s heart to ache, the sight was still something he had yet to digest as he had just woke up from a much-needed slumber. Swatting the air with her hands when Finn had tried to get a hold of her, Y/N helplessly let out a staggering sigh before her quivering knees tried its best to push her off the ground. He pulled back, thoughts sprinting in his head as he wondered what he should do. While he watched her regain her strength by standing, his impulsive act caused his wiggly arms to snake around her back once she had tremored. Y/N’s body went limp in his arms as her energy diminished in thin air. All her pent up anger and sadness wasted through gushing of tears.

Resting in his arms which had been a task after shifting in awkward and uncomfortable positions, Finn’s head hovered over hers as he walked out of the bedroom and into the living room. Her ears rested on his chest, his heartbeat singing a cherish song. Despite her being on the edge of sleep, her eyes had not found the weight on her eyelashes heavy. 

“What’re you sorry for?” Finn inquired in a quiet tone, slightly reluctant at her vulnerable state. His eyes tried his best to not glance down as some parts were inappropriately exposed to him. Although his muscles had tensed at the thought, he could not help but remember it was as if he had been talking to a fragile child. Finally plopping down onto the couch he had slumbered not too long ago, his feet were ready to pace towards the opposite couch. Her fingers dug into his arm, a quivering order mumbled out of her lips.

“Don’t go.” She mumbled, her eyes shadowed from the iridescent rays of the moon.

With that, she fell deep into the darkness of sleep. 

Tommy barged into his office with an unhappy frown on his face, his gait thumped thunder with every step. The floor danced with every beat he had inflicted like a colossal earthquake, springing everyone’s desk into the air as they halted their typing. The door to his room quivered in fear as he slammed it close behind him, never taking a second peek if the wavering slab of wood had not been damaged. Why would he? The stacks of money stashed in his bank were enough for him to replace the door endless amount of time. The grand rolling chair screeched painfully against the floor like his son’s cries when the infant was in need of milk. Seeping out of the door’s crack to play an awful tune for his workers as if they needed more torture to be present, the noise demolished their ability to hear. Glances were thrown, confusion to what had managed to ruin their boss’ day so early in the morning. Lizzie stared at the stable door before turning her gaze to the rest of the workers, “What you looking at?”

Without raising a voice, the female employees proceeded with the task that sat on their tables.

Grabbing the telephone with ease, he cycled his finger on the rotary phone. His movements were smooth like a silver line. No, more like a slithering serpent who was ready to bite. A familiar Italian voice quirked up.

“Sabini.” As soon as his name echoed into the speaker, the Italian gangster hurled it back to its place, fear engulfed his bones. Thomas sneered at the game the man was playing. A few months ago, they were ‘friends’. Had he truly teamed up with the blood of his father’s homeland? If the first call he made as soon as he entered his office had already caused his blood to boil, what else does the day have for him? 

For the following few hours, Tommy had spent his time making endless of calls, even though, Lizzie had entered his office multiple of occasions with a stack of papers in her arms for him to sign, his attention had rested on the calls rather than the texts on the papers that needed his signature to finalize. He wanted to make sure his little brother and his old friend was safe; however, Tommy could not risk any more lives so that his worry could be demolished. Peace called for sacrifices. If only the location of Y/N’s hotel had been in his major circle, he wouldn’t worry much. Unfortunately, an old friend can make you impose on things just for you to impress them. Thomas had stepped out of his line.

Tommy could not blame her though, his abrupt call had led her to hastily interject the event between her plans. Although it was on the edge of Birmingham, the area the Peaky Blinders had control over, across the line were possible allies to the Italians. It seemed everyone but him were siding with the Sicilians. His eyes beamed at the silent telephone before he impulsively committed to a need. 

Ringing up his aunt, Tommy mumbled once the tone from the other side faded to a feminine voice, “Finn and Y/N had been ambushed last night.”

However, before he could continue to what he wanted to say, the older woman had screeched, “What?” Painfully massaging his abused ear, his mouth gaped open to proceed. He was yet again, too slow. “And why have I just received this news now?”

“There was nothing we could do.” Tommy huffed.

“Where’s Finn?”

“Y/N’s hotel.”

Polly let out a scoff at the mention of the woman who had left a mark of an impression on everyone, “Great, just great. Were they shot?”

“Finn said a couple of cuts, nothing bad.”

A moment of silence sneaked into the line before Polly raised the question she had formulated, “What’s the plan?”

“We sneak you in.”

Leaning back into his chair, the ear-screeching noise pinched Tommy’s ears. Although he had been slightly exhausted from the amount of calling he had made, the phone had itched a call he needed to make. He let out a sigh before picking it up, dialling the number. 

“Finn?”

“It’s Y/N.” The woman replied with eyes shot red as if her orbs had been dipped in crimson red. A sigh of relief fell off his lips when the familiar voice played on his ears.

“What happened?”

Y/N mumbled a nasal reply, a consequence from the volume of tears gushing from her now-dry eyes, a nuisance a couple of cups can’t fix, “The car broke down, no gas. Don’t fret, I had it repaired in the garage.”

“You didn’t have to, Y/N,” Thomas sighed. “I’ve sent a few of my boys to scour around. No Sabini men were seen. They probably crawled from whatever hole they came out of. It’ll be fine to leave the hotel, I don’t doubt your skills.”

Y/N placed back the phone back to where it resided. That was Tommy’s way of thanking her for saving his brother’s life before she took notice the additional presence in the room. Y/N threw a glance at the boy.

“Oh, Finn.” 

“Tommy?” 

Y/N nodded with a faint tint blush playing on her cheeks. Last night’s encounter was so embarrassing and humiliating. How could’ve she let him see her in such a frail state? Now all he could think about is probably how unfortunate of a woman I am. The plan was simple with sieve-like holes, if she acted like it didn’t happen, he too would forget about it… eventually. Finn’s eyes lingered on her, a part of him wanted her to possibly speak up about what had happened last night. It was not something he could just throw out. But then he remembered that he was merely a guest in the woman’s hotel room, a nanny for her friend’s younger brother. He leaned against the table, eyes watching her as she paced away. It was a bit too bright in the morning to Y/N’s liking; she squinted her eyes as she made way towards the kitchen for any indication of food. Although coffee would satisfy her perfectly, the prominent growl from a starving stomach quirked her ears.

“Come on, let’s get some food to fill up the belly shall we?” Her hand made home in Finn’s as she guided him towards the couches in the living room. Throughout the short walk, his eyes were glued on the connected hands, a warming heat radiated from hers to his like a warm furnace. Had she forgotten about what had happened last night after passing out from the amount she had consumed? 

“What’d you like Finny?”

“Finny?” Finn’s eyebrows furrowed, finding the name to be atrocious. Never had he been called Finny. It sounded like a fish.

Y/N chuckled as the name was repeated in her head, she loved her absurd creation, “That’s gonna be my nickname for ya,” She grabbed the velvety covered menu from the coffee table as soon as the two plopped onto the couch. Flicking it open to reveal the abundant offer of meals, she crossed her legs. “Has anyone called you that yet?”

“No, until you made it a thing.” Finn huffed. He had not found one good bit of the nickname. “You made it longer?”

With a glare, it had successfully shut him up.

“Read what you want,” Finn didn’t move a muscle, frozen in place at the word that had haunted him. His blood ran cold as he tried to digest her words. “Come on.” He shifted on the loveseat, however, leaving a prominent distance from her. A huff brushed her lips while she moved closer towards him until their shoulders were practically brushing against one another. It was like last night again.

“Well? Which one do you like?” The black inked strokes blared into his eyes. The printed words quirked an eyebrow at the boy, taunting him in a high pitched voice. Although he could make out only a few words, the rest let out a scoff at his inability to even read it.

“I, uh,” He stuttered, eyes darting around the page with nervousness. There was an attempt to read a line in his head, to only be stuck every time he was faced with a longer word than six letters. The fancy and elegant words used was something he had barely come across, he could not understand any of it. Disappointingly, he turned the offer down, hoping she would let it go. “I think I’ll pass.”

Y/N pushed his hand away that wanted to hand her the menu, “No. You’re eating. So, choose.”

A minute passed and Finn had yet to give her an answer. This was it, just like every other girl, she would walk away and leave. Her patience would wear off. With his terrible previous experiences, Finn had already visualized the scene. She would only let out a jab and a hysterical laugh before hurling him out of the room as if abandoning a new-born puppy. 

“Are you worried about the price? You don’t need to think about that, just-“ Finn had cut her off with a tone that was louder than he had expected it to be.

“No! No, it’s just uh…” Finn shut the menu before resting it on his lap. Nearly melting into the seat, he let out a sigh as he could imagine the disappointment plastered over her face as he would spill an unfortunate secret. Already reading his posture and the air, Y/N had beat him to it before he could say what was hurling in his head. 

“You can’t read or you don’t know the meaning of the words?”

With his head hung low, his fingers fiddling with one another in nervousness, he confessed, “I can’t read.” Like a beetroot, he flushed red at his embarrassing secret. He shut his eyes, ready for the painful laugh to be targeted at him, prod him, and taunt him. But nothing.  

Reading the ambience, it must’ve been something he had tried his hardest to hide away from the eyes of people who could potentially use it against him. She pulled his shoulders with the softest of touch, making him face her. Gently caressing his cheeks, she softly lifted his face so he would gaze into her eyes, “I’ll teach you.”

Even though he would’ve accepted the offer without missing a heartbeat, he had remembered that he was a Peaky Blinder. A twinkle sparkled in his eyes at her generous offer which diminished into a dull shadow.

“You don’t have to, it’s fine, I’ll pass the food.”

Ignoring his refusal she flapped the menu open once again, being as stubborn as she is, “You see this one? Have you ever had pancakes?” Her voice nearly matched a squeal when she realized pancakes had probably not made its way to England’s top food ranking as of yet. Excitement bounced through her veins when his head shook to a no. Before he had the chance to inquire her, she had dashed to her phone. What seemed to be a long list of ingredients, she went on and on, specifying to probably her men of what items she needed to make the breakfast.

With her, the heaviness on his shoulders declined. A smile sported on his face as he stared at her while she made the call. 

“Tommy, I’m telling you, you have to check her background,” Ada incessantly repeated like a broken parrot as she followed her older brother who had not found a place to rest. After Ada had barged into Thomas’ office without a set appointment, to which she called bullshit because she was family, she had been roped around him as if a lost dog who had been stranded on the street for just one day. Thomas paced from the bar to gazing out of his office, her babbling bounced off his ears into the air. 

His eyes did not quiver away from the flopping newspaper as his eyes sprinted across the path. The cigarette dangling in his fingers let out a sigh as he took another long drag. An eyebrow sprung up when he had read another interesting headline which enchanted him to read the colossal paragraphs. Before he could indulge himself into the news, it was snatched away. Irritated by him ignoring her, she had enough. “Tommy, I saw it. I saw the black hand.”

“Ada, you barged into my office with no appointment,” The woman crossed her arms, letting her weight to rest on one leg as she cocked one hip. “As you know, I’m a busy man,” Tommy leaned back on one of the couches, taking another drag of his cigarette, “Did anyone else see it? Just you? Ada, you must have fallen terribly ill,” Tommy stated before ambling towards his desk as work occupied his mind. The time he had given himself to rest and ponder had been ruined by his younger sister. Ada let out a huff when the tone of his voice resembled without a care, so nonchalant, it was exhausting to keep up with him. She had always wondered how Grace even dealt with the cryptic man.

“So you were not deaf after all,” The man hurled a glare at her. Resting the newspaper onto the desk, she splayed her hands on the surface, eyes narrowing onto him with a sparkle in her eyes that she would use when she was a mere child to get what she had wanted. “I’m telling you, you have to look into it.”

Tommy inhaled the smoke, contemplating of the request before he let the vapour take over his head, he mumbled with defeat, “Fine,” A cheer nearly left her lips as she believed she had won the case before he beamed back into her eyes like a set artillery target. “We’ll wait for a family meeting,” Tommy rested his arms onto the polished wooden table, fingers swinging the lit cigarette as if it had not been on fire. “What I’ll be doing is going against her back, an old friend.”

Despite his emphasization at the adjective (as he expected her to rethink of a choice, since of how open-minded she is known to be), Ada sported a faint victory smirk that would linger on her lips longer than it should’ve. She had left the office with a gold medal around her neck, a proud present to winning against her frustratingly strategic brother. As soon as the door made contact with its doorframe, Tommy hurled his hands to grab the telephone. Countless of calls were made, words exchanged and deals weaved. Once again, his hands had been buried, not in dirt nor blood, but history. Oh, was it shocking. 

The older woman let out a huff as she exited the car, the drive was not as long as she had expected; however, time and age had recently been paying her a visit with ancient joints. The petit velvet bag of a dark purple had blended with the fashion on the street. Every corner she would turn, she would be greeted (more like stared at) with prissy people who were overflowed with layers of clothing, even though the sun had prominently made its appearance. Although the small storage space in her bag led her to carry a limited amount of items, she had only tried to stuff the necessary items she was told to bring tightly in the pouch. The request of Tommy’s list and the vague description of her nephew’s wounds didn’t help in what medications she needed to bring. 

They were all suffocated against one another, just like the cramped houses in Watery Lane. Bitterness coated her tongue when she nearly broke her neck to view the never-ending skyscraper. The highest floor might be above the clouds. Glances from the people who were drowned in gold, threw a glance at the woman, their voices and staring were not as discreet as the thought they were. Were they even trying to hide the fact that they were gawking? Polly nearly let out a loud scoff before unbuttoning the top three buttons of her dress to reveal the blaring necklace. It had nearly blinded those curious eyes. A scowl sported on her lips as she made way to her location. Rich people.

The footsteps of Polly Grey were muffled by the lavish red carpet that warmed her shoes she had recently purchased from Paris. Even though the streets were overrun with people with who had their name in ranks, the only person Polly had encountered so far on the desired floor was a housekeeper who struggled to push the cart against the stubborn carpet. As she had stood in the elevator that was playing soft jazz, she had noted fewer people were in the walls of each level as she ascended the altitude. It was most likely because it was the second last floor from the top. Polly could not help but feel a slight twinge of jealousy although she was impressed by the amount of gold she had been flashed in her eyes with. Her eyes ran across the scribbled strokes on the trashed piece of paper before her hands curled to a fist. A faint crumple noise was emitted, the last cry of death before it was stuffed in the great depth of her coat.

Once Polly’s wandering orbs landed on the gold-plated number on the door (the amount of gold had started to feel obnoxiously overwhelming; just like that of a wrong meal), her hand raised to let her presence be known. However, it stopped mid-air when squeals of joy and screaming of excitement seeped out of the room. Furrowing with great confusion, she tugged the corpse of the piece of paper she had murdered seconds ago. Had Tommy given her a wrong address?

The only way of confirmation was to knock on the door. But before her questions could jump on the train, the name she had nurtured for echoed through the silent hallway. It might’ve not been a nuisance for surrounding guests since there were only a handful amount of rooms in the level (all largely spaced out), it was too early in the goddamn morning for her to deal with such jutting rays of happiness.

“Finn! Stop!” A ruckus played behind the door as an echoing metal clattered on the floor. Polly wore her stoic face, her head trying its hardest to figure out what was happening behind the slab of wood. After listening to the horrible music for a minute, she had had enough, all she could imagine was the mess being concocted as she waited. Rapping the door as loud as she could, Polly sent a faux smile towards the housekeeper who snapped her head at the boisterous sound; who then returned the gesture. It seemed that her presence had been noticed for the commotion had died once and for all. Although the whispers were meant to be low and discreet, a pair of rapidly thrown back hushes made its way to Polly’s ears.

Nudging Finn’s arm to open the door once Y/N had tugged out her gun in her hung coat, he let out an annoyed huff when the speckles of her white powder layered on his. Finn cleared his throat to reset the deepness of his voice. Resting against the wooden door, Finn leaned on his right shoulder as he fiddled with his fingers.

“Who’s there?” The obnoxiously forced-deep tone coming from the boy had caused the woman to stifle giggles. It had sounded so peculiar on his infant-like face. Indeed, over the night, the two had created an immense bond. Biting into her hand to cover her slithering giggles, beads of tears trickled down Y/N’s eyes when a noise similar to that of the passing of gas seeped through the cracks of her fingers. Finn shoved his shoulder for her to stay put even though he was also struggling to maintain silence after already letting out a chuckle.

Polly Grey did not have time for laughs and giggles. The older woman whose shoulders were slumped down from annoyance let out an exhale, “Open the fucking door.”

The giggling bundle of a pair was overwhelmed with dread. The joy they wore on their faces ago had vanished in thin air once they realized who it was. Dragged onto the floor were their elongated faces, puddling onto the floor like liquid mercury. Finn had expected Tommy to send someone else, possibly Arthur, but he had hoped his aunt wouldn’t be the one to see him in such a state. When the irritated voice squeezed through the cracks between the door and its frame, all Y/N wished she could do was sneak in (more like throwing a rope down the skyscraper for them to do mountain climbing) a dozen of her men to wipe the messy room in a second.

The pair gazed into each other’s eyes. This was not how it was supposed to be. How could Y/N forget that Tommy was to send someone at such a random time? Well, in all honesty, it had been midday just like he had said; however, when one enjoys, the time passes by in a blink of an eye.

Glancing at the mess they had made, it would be entirely impossible to clean it within a time span of a minute. Well, that is the assumed maximum time Finn would say was his aunt’s very limited amount of patience. Chewing on his bottom lip, he stared at the woman whose face was entirely smeared with the flour. Y/N returned the gesture, nervous to how they were going to assess the situation they were stuck in.

The air surrounding Finn was one of a kind. She had never experienced something so refreshing and new. Never in her thirty-six years of living had she stumbled upon anyone who had ambience the boy had. The aura around him seeped through her, tugging onto her skin, making her feel young, pre-war. Although they had just spent a night together, the hefty elephant that sat on her shoulder diminished once Finn was next to her. In the back of her head, she had hoped that the route led her to somewhere pleasant, just to be reminded by herself that this was her friend’s younger brother, her fling of a lover’s younger brother. It felt like she was deceiving her past and the choices she had made.

“Uhm, just a minute, aunt Pol.” Finn stuttered before he had dashed towards the kitchen that rested at the other side of the humongous living room. To only be halted midway. Dripping from his aunt’s mouth was anything but patience.

Polly let out a breathy exhale before declaring the demand, never had she thought of herself to say it with the two people she had least expected, “If you both are fucking naked, you have ten seconds to put on your clothes before I fucking put a bullet through this door.” Y/N had been walked on a few times in her life, not something proud she would claim to be; however, although she was not going to be walked on (currently), it felt exactly like that. The rush of embarrassment and misunderstanding tinted their cheeks to crimson red. The far fetch accusation was truly off the rail track. Polly thought Y/N was shagging her nephew?

Y/N nudged at the boy to finish the conversation with his aunt, not wanting to interrupt the already awkward talk. Finn rolled his eyes before he raised his voice. At the start, he roared with confidence, until he stuttered, “We aren’t naked, we’re just…”

“Well, if you ain’t bare then open the fucking door, won’t ya?”

Finn let out a sigh of surrender, raising the white, plain flag into the air as he gave in. Y/N didn’t bother to oppose, placing the gun on the wooden table (if she didn’t like being welcomed to a house with a gun, no one else probably does). The two readied themselves to be put on a mocking display. If time was to be dragged, suspicion about what the pair had done would arise. And Finn had no idea on what his aunt would whisper into his brother’s ears if he decided to not open the door as soon as possible. The longer he took to open the door, the more intense ideas in Polly’s head would multiply by a tenfold. Giving in after the wordless agreement between the two by a nod, Finn pulled the door to reveal his aunt.

“Finally. I swear if you two were fucking, Tommy would’ve…” Polly mumbled, her gaze was flickered from the interior of her bag towards the pair. A slight relief plunged into her when they truly were wearing clothes. Even if there were no fussy noise of putting back clothes on, she was glad the two had not danced around with each other. It was bad for business. The pair could not read Polly as she began to digest what stood before her. She stared in disbelief. The gorgeous marble kitchen counter was covered with the contents of the bag of flour, the white powder had puked all over the surface as if spilt whiskey. It was as if a tornado had danced in the room all night.

“What did you both do?” Her hands rested on her chest as she blinked her eyes at the mess they had created. The pile of eggshells were enough for a farm to commence a business, yellow yolk oiling up the floor, waiting for anyone to slip on it. Bowls were scattered across the floor of the kitchen, all with various attempts by the boy.

“Well, I taught Finn how to cook pancakes.”

With a harsh tone, resembling like a mother’s scold, she narrowed her eyes towards the woman, “Ms Stein, you are here because Tommy had called you for business. Not to meddle around with his younger brother,” Polly scolded, grabbing Finn’s shoulders to dust away the flour that sat on his shirt as if he was a child. “I had expected much more from you when I heard that you volunteered in the war.”

Y/N’s jaw clenched. The feeling of being looked down as if a kid did not feel good. Y/N’s upbringing was a topic she had redirected away from, never giving in too much information about it, if only she had not counted that one, heinous man who she had spilt everything to. She was dumb, pathetic to even tell him of something so valuable to her, to his cheating arse. But she could never recall a memory of being shouted at.

“Aunt Pol,” Finn grabbed a hold of his aunt’s wrist, halting her from dusting the dirt on his shirt. A pink tint played on his cheeks when he remembered Y/N was still there, her eyes grazing over the two. “Y/N had been nothing but generous and caring towards my presence in her room. Heck, she even saved my life.”

The pair made contact and the two chuckled at the coincidental meeting of their eyes. He glanced back at his aunt, expecting her to at least slightly soften her mood against the lady. However, it seemed she remained unfazed. Typical aunt Pol.

“Y/N? What? Are you two friends now?” Polly scoffed at the news, arms crossing as she darted her eyes between the two. When the interrogated individuals did not reply, she let out a winning smile. “You, wipe the flour from your suit, you look like a child,” Aunt Pol flicked her wrist to point at a random direction, indicating the bathroom. “While Ms Stein and I will sit down and converse, like the women we are.”

Finn darted his eyes between the two female, incredibly unsure if it was a wise decision if he had left. The second he would return to the living room could be worst as the ambience surrounding the pair was already impeccably suffocating. Polly nearly let out a scoff of disbelief when she noticed he needed Y/N’s nod before leaving. Like a dog on a leash.

Pacing into the grand hotel room, Polly let out a hum of approval as she scanned the lavish furniture. 

Y/N made her way to the couch after the door was shut behind her. Plopping onto a seat while she fiddled with her fingers, her teeth gnawed on her bottom lip, “What happened to John?” Although Y/N liked finding things her way without inquiring questions since it kind of made things look desperate, how would she investigate the death of a fling of a lover? 

Polly halted in her steps before sauntering towards the wide window, amazed at the incredible view, “You have a great view,” Y/N hummed in agreement while she visualized it, although, she could see it lose to other sceneries she had flown through. A minute of silence passed before Polly raised her voice, “John was in the comfort of his home, padded in with his wife and kids. Pathetic man can’t even listen to his brother’s orders,” Y/N’s hand fell onto her lap, the mention of a wife had caused her attention to flicker towards the ground as she imagined what could’ve been if she was to stay. “Michael took bullets because of that man.” 

“Where’s he buried?” Without a word, Polly swung the pouch over her shoulder, waiting for it to be taken. Y/N threw a glance of confusion at the woman’s back before standing up to take it from her grasp. 

Tugging the bag open, Y/N was greeted with crushed boxes of band-aids and stuffed stitches.

“I already have most of these things.” The former war-nurse mumbled, snatching a vial of glass from the bag, raising it in the air as she inspected it under her dim light. The minuscule grains of what seemed to look like iron fillings caused her to stare at it with confusion before she assumed that it was merely a gypsy medicine. Tucked in her hand were plastic bottles of medication, some had labels while others remained anonymous. The bag was then zipped back shut.

“I know. Tommy insisted,” Placing the bag on a nearby couch, Y/N snatched a cloth to wipe the rest of the dirt that tainted her appearance. “Next to the bridge,” Polly mumbled, Y/N’s attention swung towards the answer. “John is buried next to the bridge,” Y/N bopped her head. “Finn is merely a young boy, he may have turned eighteen not too long ago but he is half your age. And I know, women like us have loads of experience with men.”

Y/N blinked at the woman, never had she thought she would have this conversation with her friend’s aunt. Women like us? What the bloody hell is the woman on about?

“Are you here to talk me out of this ‘affair’ or to visit my guns?”

“I have come here as your client, not his aunt.” Polly answered, turning her back to face the woman. 

“Great. I had written my boys a letter overnight and they shall fetch it with the earliest boat to England. However, I’ll be glad to show you the bundles I would label as… failure to depart.”

“Why had you chosen such an… elegant street?” The disgust worn on Polly’s face had somehow made way to display her disliking towards the group of people, despite the brick of walls she had structured when she was out on the golden street.

The woman who drove the car let out a pondering hum, wondering to how she was going to reply to the controversial question, “Well, I’ve had a few shares of resting in places here and there. You hide with the sea of serpents, you just surrounded yourself by soils of crimes.”

The boy who sat at the backseat of the car let out a chuckle at her choice of words. The minuscule noise caused a faint smile to sneak onto Y/N’s lips at her unintentional jest. Although Finn had whined like a baby towards the older woman for him to drive the vehicle which had left his aunt to be perplexed to how close they have become overnight- leading to her thoughts to clash against one another, Y/N had denied his request. Two bullets for the two guests in her car remain. The chance of a scope still targeted onto the two is high, however, whoever stood on the opposite line are still unaware of the former nurse’s appearance and connection to the Peaky Blinders.

No words were stirred in the air as the vehicle approached the warehouse. Finn watched as the scenery drastically change. Not too long ago, they were plunged in a bath of gold and the next, they had been looked down upon by bleak ominous walls. Bulging bumps raised to the surface of his skin once he felt eyes stare deep into him. The inanimate orbs lingered its gaze on the car with vigilant focus, except, it had seemed to be blended in the scenery. The colossal walls reminded him of the malicious kids when he was in elementary school. Smoke danced from the chimneys which looked like bread tainted with branching moulds, as it relieves its anger into the surrounding air.

Although it was peculiar to find trees in such an isolated environment, the colossal bush of trees was smeared grey, just like that of the sinister buildings and its huffing fumes. It was not as tall as the factories, but it was able to massacre a group of five if it decided to limp onto the ground. Gravel was sprinkled haphazardly over the crumbling dirt, a hopscotch-road to those who were lost; a temptation to steer away from the actual path. Y/N clearly was not since she smoothly drove the vehicle as if she knew the layout in the back of her hand.

If it wasn’t haunting enough, the boisterous sound of clashing seeped out of the cracked holes of the factories. Springing onto one another, slabs of metals that was the weight of three tanks slapped each other with pent up anger, held back for years. Through minuscule gaps, scorching blurs of red sprung out of the orifices to sizzle onto the bald ground. Polly took a peeking glance at her nephew, whose glued eyes stuck onto the glass pane, which darted with the curiosity of a child who was finally let out to explore the cowering part of the world. A smile crept up on her lips when the realization kicked her. Finn had not changed even though he was considered a man now. What a joke, sending a mere boy to the war.

The roads were wiggly lines of torturous turns. Loops that were thought it was not even possible to concoct sat at every turn, waiting for the visitors to enjoy the ride. It swirled an effect on heads that was no different than a sea-sickness on a rocking boat on a furious stormy day. Like a serpent who had been fed well during its lucky hunt in the weaving ropes in the jungle, it branched off into valleys. The route was truly a mess. Finn couldn’t help but stare at the driver in awe. She had manoeuvred the vehicle without a halt to the side of the road; she didn’t consume a second to ponder before swerving to a corner. It impressed him to how she had remembered such a mind-playing layout. While Finn tried an attempt to rewind the path they were on, his head clenched. The perplexing of the never-ending roads was able to drive someone to insanity. Connecting the dots to why it had looked so mysterious and sketchy, Finn assumed the path was a ruse to minds who had dared to trek through the maze. If only the poor souls had noted the first indications of incessant branching routes, their spirits wouldn’t be hovering on the plot of land.

Although they had once driven on a main road that was wide in size, the children connected to the parental path were various in size. The main road was no longer seen. Well, it was lost in the branching of paths. After countless turns and rounds, the guests who sat at the back truly had lost their ability to recollect the starting point of the journey. Finally, after the last right turn, the vehicle had stopped.

Realization struck Finn as if a hammer striking the anvil. The factory compromised of a grand square, accompanied by two other smaller boxes on its side. With bronze door as wide opened mouths, the building seemed to be a yawning face with men pacing out of its body at a mixture of pace. Some dashed with hurry while carts of sizzling sticks of metal bounced in their arms, while some sauntered at the leisure speed, hands stuffed in their pockets. After passing by handfuls of similar-looking buildings, Finn noticed this was the first with people outdoors. A chill trickled up his spine. Previous factories screamed of terror and horrifying noises with no actual evidence of presence. It almost brought his heart at ease with relief. However, that was held on waiting when his eyes grazed over the strokes of dusty grey on the workers’ figures. Maybe they hadn’t noticed the fresh appearance of the visitors, but workers proceeded with the task pinned on their heads. Not for one. 

“Come on, don’t want those guns waitin’.” After parking the car on a random plot of dirt and making sure it had gone deep to slumber, Y/N hopped out. The air was only slightly different than that of Birmingham. Instead of sniffing in people’s filth, the rapid exchange of goods between the green leaves and the deadly smoke created a breathable air, much tolerable. Balance. Soon, Finn had joined the woman once his aunt was out of the vehicle.

Even though Y/N could’ve halted the car at a closer distance towards the building, the risk of embedding sprinkles of iron dust into the newly changed tires was impeccably high- taking a glimpse at the exterior of the building was enough for one to not take such chances. After all, she was the one who renewed the car. Once his aunt left the vehicle, her mouth gaped open to start a conversation with her nephew, it was left hanging as she watched him dash towards the other woman. Polly stood in place, left dumb-founded while her eyes lingered on his fading figure.

The crunching of rocks and packed pebbles under a pair of feet echoed in the light mist surrounding the factory. Hearing it approach her, the sound intensifying with every stride, Y/N struggled to suppress the quirking of her lips. With a casual pace towards the haunting building, Y/N paced, hands rammed in the warm pocket of her coat, eyes caressing over the building. Before they had entered the woozy route, the air capered with light and innocence (compared to the current situation), now, under the smoke of factories, chains hurled on her shoulders, weighing her down. A faint mist hazed the peripheral if one was to squint harshly. Residing in the dead-centre of the plot of dirt and iron, the factory was surrounded by gloomy logs of trees, whose leaves contrasted with a smear of dark green. Without the presence of the dim buildings in the territory of nature, the weaving branches in the forest would’ve been packed full of creatures. However, there were no other signs of any other life, except that of humans.

“So, Y/N,” Finn quirked up. With those two words, her chest clenched, her fingers crossed in hopes he would not prod onto the issue that occurred last night. Thankfully, Finn had decided that it wasn’t the right time for him to ask her even though he pondered that it might help (in some way) get the concern off her chest if she agreed. An aching part of his chest believed that maybe he was just not worthy enough of being told. A feeling of intimidation cowered in his chest when he felt eyes elevate up and down on him. 

Despite being a Shelby, Finn’s experience in his family’s business was nothing compared to the problems Isaiah would deal with or what Thomas would face. He hated it because he knew, they were treating him like a mere child due to him being the youngest. Sadly, there was nothing he could do to oppose them. Even a stroke of a cut that mysteriously appeared would set his family off like a fizzing bomb. Raising his voice would not lead him anywhere, especially when John was present who would swing him around like a ragdoll. Now, he wasn’t and Finn was set with the task of being his deceased brother. Although Finn wore the hat with the razor tucked in it, he had barely used it. Other than the useful times of slicing open a fruit or tearing a paper into two. It was most likely due to the fact that he hasn’t found a need to yank the metal out. He always had his family suffocating him, stealing all of his valuable oxygen as they stood like walls in front of him. But the day before, he was invited to sit at the table. “This your warehouse?”

Y/N’s exposed hands were laced behind her back, cold wind kissing her skin, she had almost let out a sigh of relief when he had not asked her about the incident. She ambled towards the gazing man, who was drenched in dirt, “No, not really. I just had to twiddle some strings and… imply coercion.” The boy nodded, there were so many things he wanted to talk to her about, or more likely, inquire. It was rare for Finn to find someone he could turn to with pounds of words stuffed in his mouth, since of his intimidating upbringing and his environment. However, with her, he had the urge to regurgitate everything out. There was always this need to converse with her, which nudged him to flick his tongue. Delicate silk glided in the tone of her voice, wrapping around his neck to tug his body into her.

“Is your business only in America?” She threw a glance at the curious boy. She could see the resemblance between him and his older brother, Thomas, they were both like a broken radio- always questioning everything at anytime they could. Like a pet parrot that just cannot rest its vocal cords. 

“Nosey, I see,” Before Finn had the chance to defend himself, she nudged her shoulders against his as an indication that she was only teasing. “My shipments reach as far as land goes.”

“How come I barely hear your name then?”

Y/N hummed as she thought of an answer, “I try my best to steer out of the papers, didn’t like the face they put on for me. My cargoes don’t ship to England anymore though, had enough of unpleasant experiences here. Not Tommy, never worked with him until now, of course, whatever he needs, I’ll get it.”

“So, all the guns are here?” Y/N craned up at the monstrous building. 

“That’s a risky move, Finny. I had them distributed to different ports under different names, wouldn’t want the cops on my tail now, do we?” He shook his head like a puppy who had been kicked under the sobbing sky. “Plus, only two boxes arrived here this morning from France. Had to… cut off some orders from clients as a consequence. These guns are for her to see, I’ll be shipping them off as soon as we’re done. I’m not passing on rusty ol’ guns.”

It seemed the direction the woman was walking towards was to the sole man who had his eyes pinned on them. His body was able to gain the victory prize of every fair, the sledgehammer he held in his hand shot glares at Finn. Everything was just as intimidating as its surrounding, even the wooden box that would look innocent outside a store was tainted black. As if it had been dipped in mud, his overalls peeked a twinge of the original colour of blue while the rest had been smeared with brown. Approaching closer towards the factory, Y/N raised her voice at the great idea her head had concocted, “Would you like to one day visit my workplace, Finn?”

The boy nodded like a child, a twinkle in his eyes sparkled at the opportunity he had just scored for himself.

“Well then, I’ll make sure to be ready with that ticket to New York City” He nodded once again, wearing a wide grin on his face.

“’is no place to run around, lass.” The man warned, bouncing his hammer on his hand while his eyes lingered on the lanky boy.

“A shipment has been stuck here from January, hasn’t it? And a pair had arrived in the bright early morning of today. I heard no matter how many times you tried to bring it up to the police, they never bothered to pass by. Have they?” Y/N let out a chuckle at the thought of the winding street, her eyes wandered around the towering trees. “Wonder if they resting nicely under these trees. How many boxes?” Y/N stuffed her hand in the warmth of her coat, fingers flickering ever so often against the blade sheets. 

“Six. Four from the year before and two in the mornin’.”

“You ever cracked ‘em open?” The man nodded. “How much?”

“A dozen.”

The corners of her lips curled up as everything seemed to proceed with her flawless plan, indeed, intuition can be the wagon waiting patiently outside of your house, “Stein.”

The man glanced at her forwarded hand, his eyebrows quirked up as he ran his eyes against her outfit. A woman who was embellished with wealth due to the silky dress halting at her knees, was willing to shake her bare hand without a glove shielding her from the prominent mess painted on him? “Harold.” 

The calloused tips of Harold’s fingers pierced into hers for a short period of time. While they were shaking as a greeting, Finn threw a glimpse at the side of his eyes before leaning his body closer to Y/N, her hand still shaking with Harold. During the whispering, Finn’s eyes lingered on her hand which was sure to be painted with his greasy dirt, “Why are there so many guns?”

“Like I said Finny, four of these batches are the ones I have not succeeded to send off to their desired places. Had to stop them off at England.”

The sound of cries emitted by pebbles as a pair of heels pierced into the back pulled Y/N away from the conversation with the man. It halted. Y/N’s shoulder twirled around, her attention darted towards the only other seen woman in the isolated area, “This is Polly Grey and Finn Shelby.” 

The musky warm tone wads of fresh cash were yanked out of her coat’s pockets, the rolled-up money sat heftily in her hands as if she had held a bun. Pressing her index finger onto her tongue, a faint bitter taste soon faded before she swiftly yet meticulously filtered through the stack of paper. Finn gawked, eyebrows tugged at his orbs wide open at the number of sheets that she had, stuffed in her pockets, unbeknown to him. It was as if cash had been nothing to her, even the bulge in her pockets wasn’t visible at a far distance.

After separating what seemed like a fair and adequate amount, the lion’s share of the stack, she tugged out a dozen more sheets, slapping it on the main cash, “This is for listening to your boss’s urgent call and this a… tip,” Y/N mumbled, when she felt eyes blared onto her back, she pulled away from the thick wad of cash before taking a glance at the Shelby’s. She shrugged her shoulders at the gazes. “I’m feeling generous today.”

With a stoic face, Harold grabbed the cash. He let his eyes ran around what seemed to be fresh sheets before stuffing it in his pocket. A slight twinge played in Finn’s pupils, the man seemed unfazed when the bulky stack had crumpled under his immense grip, possibly damaging the sleek, pointy ends. A huff left Harold’s lips before he guided the trio into the judgmental building. 

Clammy sweat trekked through the valley of Harold’s fingers, his arms that looked like two massive petrol barrels nudged the grand door with so little effort. The metal sheet creaked before the guests were splashed with an overwhelming amount of sounds. Ear-drumming and pitching noise blew up their ears, drills and deafening sound of hammering massacred their ability to hear. No one had acknowledged the presence, their necks stuck onto what rested on their space as they proceeded with their tasks.

Y/N was the first to follow Harold, the family trailed behind her. As the woman’s eyes ran over the men behind the welders, weapons were suffocated in their grips- spraying spheres of fiery red in the air, she let her eyes to be enchanted by what sat on their workbench. Before Finn had the chance to sprint to Y/N, his aunt sprung onto him like a serpent, yanking the boy back by his wrist so he would walk next to her- at the same pace. Tugging his arm out of her grasp, he threw her a look of confusion, why was she treating him like a child?

“You are not her bitch.” Despite the boisterous noises, Y/N was not too far away from the two, to eavesdrop on the gossip. Following in suit, the guests stopped when Harold halted. Glancing over her shoulder, Y/N realized they had walked straight down the warehouse, no quirky lefts or right, just a straight path. She had also noticed that fewer men had occupied the space at the end of the building, only carts of metals and tools hung onto the wall. 

Rummaging his fingers through the pockets of his apron, Harold plucked out a set of clashing keys that cried like punished crows. The keys were raised in the air before his meaty fingers hovered over a rather dusty one. After a few seconds of unsuccessful obtaining of the key, he had achieved it, blowing air as puffs of dust evaporated into thin air. Harold rammed it into the lock. 

The door let out a creak, not budging its arms towards the individuals despite his effort. He had attempted it once again, finally achieving a victory with a much stronger force. Finn pressed his lips, his eyes darted at the forever traumatized item when he saw a bent was indicated on the metal key. 

After a cry was let out from the door, it had been convinced to open. Revealing speckles of dust dancing in the hazy light radiating from the smeared windows, invisible particles swung in the air, rocking in a soothing pace before resting on the thin layer of dust that covered the true ground. Wooden boxes were stacked upon each other, some painted with sombre colours while the rest remained to their true natural colours; although, their original outer skin was chipped off. In an odd way of organizing, the storage room was compromised of stairs, concocted by the stacked boxes. 

No light was capable of shining upon the crooks and canny of the room that seemed to elongate with every step, shadows won the battle as light could not obtain a victory. Even though it seemed as if no one had stepped in the room for quite some time, due to the lack of footsteps that would be visible because of the thin crust of dirt present, no rats or wandering creatures were seen scurrying or squeaking, none had inhabited or claimed the room as theirs with a trail of piss. 

With every stomp Harold took, puffs of clouds swirled around the ground as he continued straight into the never-ending room. Without another nauseous turn, he stopped in the middle of the room, a long box resting in front of his feet, “This is it.” 

Standing next to the buff man, Y/N ran her eyes at the box with her hands tucked in the safety of her coat. Polly narrowed her eyes on the still woman. The aunt watched her with caution, meticulously on every slight movement of any muscles. A hefty air stooped upon their shoulders, the males were holding their breath they didn’t know they were holding until their exhale joined the rest of the speckling dust. 

“A crowbar?” Harold nodded when her order was made clear, he squeezed through suffocating spaces before he stood under the sunlight once again, the tool in his hand. As if she had done this multiple time before, Y/N squirmed the claw of the crowbar that resembled the fork-like tongue of a serpent, into the faint gap of the box. With a push of her arm, the box let out a screech as its head flew open. Finn’s eyes widened as he watched her squat down, the crowbar standing still in her grasp. He did not expect her to do so; however, it seemed she kept surprising him. It was something not every lady would do while they wore a dress or just anything a lady would do. Before he could reach out to her, to possibly aid her in any way she would need, his aunt stopped him with a glare of her eyes.  

Brushing her fingers over the carpet of bulging wooden splinters, ready to pierce a hole in thick skin, Y/N dusted away the layer of wood. With a few more caress at the corner of the top of the box, a black scribble of a wavering line that sat below a circle was dug out to the eyes of the viewers.

“Wonderful,” Her body shot up, hands clasping onto one another as she patted the dirt on her knees. “Would you lead me to the way of the newest additions?”

With so, Polly Grey had a smear of impress plaster over her face as she watched the sole woman handle what was usually considered as a man’s work. An empire she had controlled, all by and to herself. However, Polly had not let down her walls, just yet.

After driving out of the suffocating environment of trees and smoke, the vehicle had reached the streets of Watery Lane. Hopping out first, Polly stood near the vehicle with the full pouch in her hand, returned back to its owner without an item taken, glancing left and right as she waited for her nephew to join her. Finn bit his lips as he pondered if he should let out the words that had been lingering on his tongue ever since the drive. Not batting an eye at Polly’s glare, the boy removed his infamous flat cap, holding it to his chest before he poked his head towards the front seat, his lanky height caused his legs to poke the back seats. 

“Where’ll you be going?”

Since Y/N had been glancing frequently at her rear-view, snatching every chance she could look at the boy, she had noticed his tongue was curling, wrapping around something he had wanted to say but hadn’t found the right time to do so, “Won’t you like to know?” After a few blinks and silence emitted from the Shelby, Y/N pulled her attention away from her coat where she had been digging deep in. Turning her body around to face him, a smirk sported on her lips at the close proximity which was something the boy hadn’t notice. A smear of pink-tinted his cheeks as he shifted on his legs. “I have some business to deal with.” 

“I’ll see you again.”

“That sounds more of a statement than a question, doesn’t it, Shelby?” The boy let out a grin, a sparkle played on his teeth before he took a lingering glance at the woman, wanting to savour the moment and embed her face into his memories. Finn exited the car, standing next to his aunt who uttered nothing.

The pair watched as the car drove away. An eye-contact was coincidentally made between Finn and the woman through the set mirror. He wore a wide grin that ran from one ear to the other, pinching his cheeks from the elongated time of joy. As soon as the car had faded away as it took a turn, Finn trailed behind his aunt. They paced into the Shelby company building, ready for the pending topic in the family meeting.

As the chairs were dragged, their legs let out ear-pitching shrieks, the rubbing against the wooden floorboard played a nauseous tune before weights were thrown onto the seats. Thomas paced from one side of the room to the other, a lit cigarette rested between his fingers as thoughts ran around his head. No one could read him, no one ever could. His expression that he wore on his face was always stoic and straight, even a quirk of his lips was uncommon at points. 

“Why’s he wearin’ that grin on his face, huh?” Arthur laughed, landing an echoing smack on the youngest brother, causing tremors to shake down his lanky body that had begun to tower the rest of the elders, a grimace seeped through the cracks of Finn’s teeth. When nothing came out of the boys’ mouth, Arthur let out a cackle as he tried to read the silent air before he made way to the table to serve himself a cup of the liquor that had practically enchanted him. 

Polly noticed the faint smirk cowering on Ada’s lips to which the aunt threw an eyebrow at. Wonder what got the Shelby woman to be in such a happy mood. Polly leaned back on her groaning seat, her arm crossed as her legs rested on one another, shaking while she waited for someone to start the meeting.

“Well, what is this about?” Polly raised her voice. There was no time to fiddle and play around. Jumping to the gun, Polly wanted the reason for the abrupt meeting to be hurled onto the table because she could no longer be the Gypsy woman that read the cards laid on the table.

Thomas halted in his spot, he took a puff before beginning his introductory speech, “Today’s meeting has been brought to my attention by our dear, Ada,” The smile that was worn on the only female Shelby was wiped off from her figure once all eyes in the room had beamed towards her. Ada hurled a glare, knowing the intention of her brother. “Now, with our recent addition firearm supplier by my dear, old friend, Y/N, there has been prominent… disagreement. Ada, why don’t you tell them of your encounter?”

Once again, all eyes were thrown onto the woman who was baffled by the abrupt push under the spotlight. Thomas wore his normally stoic face, taking frequent huffs of his cigarette as if nothing lurked behind those eyes that watched her unfold before him. But oh, she knew, behind those eyes, he was enjoying this. This was amusing to him. 

“Thank you, Tommy,” Ada mumbled, a scowl sported on her lips, her eyes running across the room. An elongated speech was being jotted in her head, the pen dipped into the ink before another surge of idea engulfed the now inferior thought. “It has seemed our recent addition to the business has caught my attention,” Finn’s ears quirked up, all of his attention had been dumped onto his older sister at the mention of Y/N. “It is not my place or position to judge of her… being. However, I noticed a peculiar-“

Before she could go on with the length writing that she had perfected in her head, she had finally learned that this was her family and not an audience of prestigious bodies that she would need to impress by utilizing words buried in the deepest of graves, words they wouldn’t even know of, “Oh get on with it, cut to the fucking point.”

Ada huffed her eyes flickered to Thomas. The leader of the gang gestured a hand for her to continue, leaning against a column while he enjoyed the warmth of his cigarette. She rocked her body like a resting boat before throwing up what she had wanted to say, “I think Y/N might be working with the Italian mafia… or with Luca Changretta.”

Never had she felt so humiliated ever before. There had been multiple of times she had felt embarrassed but nothing could be equalized to being at the centre of attention by your family’s eyes, unwantedly. Especially when a burst of breathy laughter was directed towards you. Arthur wheezed, his cheeks were painted crimson red while boisterous strings of amusement left the oldest sibling’s lips. Confused, Finn’s eyebrows furrowed, his body pulled away from the column he was leaning against. Where did Ada get such a horrendous idea? 

“Did you just fucking say what I think you just said?” Arthur snorted, his hands rested on his stomach, trying his hardest to entrap another wave of breathy wheezing. A huff fell off Ada’s lips, eyes lingering onto something else as nearly everyone was against the accusation.

After Arthur’s reaction had died down, Polly raised her voice to interject her own opinion, “I think so too.” Finn shook his head, eyes snapping onto his aunt’s figure.

“What?” 

Lighting up a cigarette, Polly took her time, huffing a cloud before proceeding with her agreement with her niece’s statement, “I believe Ada.”

“You think that Y/N has some kind of tie with Luca Changretta?” Finn stood in his place, baffled with what the woman had just said. Not too long ago, she was starting to get used to the other woman. Now she was against and talking behind her back?

Polly took another huff, “Yes, is that a problem, Finn?”

A scoff fell off his lips, “Just an hour ago you were saying how impressive it was for her to do all this crap, now your shit talking about her?”

Thomas took a long inhale of his cigarette, eyes lingering on the two quarrelling, well, it seemed Finn was the only one putting effort in the argument as Polly seemed to only prod her finger into him. 

“I was commenting on her skill, which is not affected by her possible relation to Luca Changretta.” Finn scoffed once again, eyes darting at the roof in disbelief. “You’ve spent a night with her Finn, have you gone soft for the lady?”

Lingering his eyes on his aunt for a quick second, the boy ran out of the room with a scowl playing on his lips. 

“What got his knickers tied up?” Ada inquired to which everyone quirked their shoulders.

Squinting her eyes at the obnoxiously bright rays of light of the rising morning, swirls of cloud lazily twirled from her stick. The cigarette dangled in her fingers, swinging around as flakes of ashes sizzled onto the ground. Tugging out the singing chain of her pocket watch for nearly the hundredth time, her eyes blared onto the longest arm that had passed the number six, a hair’s breadth distance away from hovering over seven. An annoyed huff trickled in the air, similar to that of her cigarette’s smoke. The designated driver of the day sat back, arms crossed; heavy eyes shut tight as if he was ready to plunge into his grave. That was exactly where he was going to be nudged to when a grumble echoed into the frosting air. The fedora sitting on the edge of his head let out a scream when it plunged onto the floor of the vehicle. Connor shot up, head snapping around like a frantic owl with his hand slipped in his jacket, fingers gripped on his pistol.  

The thought of leaving the late Italian man to proceed with the utmost vital meeting with her old friend passed her head as if an exhausted, brittle train. It threw its eyebrows at her, waiting for the woman to glance at the brilliant idea. Nearing to the end of the track that led to a solid mist, the train waited patiently before its lips twirled into a grin. As soon as her lips breathed in the chilly air which was a mixture of her cig and the smell of Birmingham, the door of the house slammed open. If it was already frail and ancient with the hinges nearly losing all hopes of attaching the slab of wood to its frame, then Dante must’ve ended its life quick and painlessly. An echoed ‘oof’ resounded off the walls of the neighbourhood, the pair of women who had nearly been decapitated by the flying door screeched to a halt. The intricate weaved strands of lace covered their beloved hands even though the air was as far away from hell as it could be. Scratching the nape of his neck, he stared at the demolished door that rested on the brick sidewalk, obstructing the path, forcing people to awkwardly scoot around it. Y/N’s eyes had never darted away from a scene as rapidly ever; however, it seemed Dante’s mishap had snatched the first rank of the achievement. 

In a scrunched up jacket, the Italian resembled a kicked out husband who had been caught cheating by a far more dominating wife. A chuckle played in her head. Poking his head back into the house, he let out an unclear scream with words glued onto one another. Y/N could only make sense of ‘broke’ and ‘door’. Connecting the dots, the woman assumed that he was informing the only sober and awaken man of the issue. To only be replied with a screeching ‘what.’ Dante shot a sheepish smile to the women who had witnessed a possible crime, before tipping off his hat. Except, he had left it on the coffee table. Connor watched in amusement as Dante realized the absence of the only cover of his untamed, wild hair. However, just like the man he was, the Italian swirled his pinched fingers around his head before he mumbled in the thickest accent of the land he had been born on, “Mmm, the air today is splendid.” 

To assume that Dante was embarrassed was an underestimation. Humiliated, that was the reason for his flushed cheeks as he sprinted through the streets, plunging into the backseat of the car. All he wanted to do was dig himself a hole; hideaway for eternity and to never meet another pair of eyes, ever again.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Y/N took a drag of her cigarette before scolding the man-child as if she was his mother.

A blur of figures had passed the area he had created a scene on. They lingered over the door as if it had been yanked out like the arms of a ragdoll. Dante’s ears began to redden as he slouched in the back seat, head hidden under the peripheral of the window. Was it possible to erase a memory? Ideas began to bounce off the exasperated man. Fredrick forgot his name during the brawl against that boxer. Unfortunately, it was only horrible ones which would only lead to brain concussion.

Sniffing the enclosed vehicle, she turned around to stare at the man, “How many bottles have you gone through?” Still trying to digest what had just happened, the curious man peeked his eyes above the window line to only plunge back down when he was met by countless pairs of heads. “Tug up your flyer, won’t you? Your dick is covered with a whore’s lipstick.”

He yanked the metal back up, shifting in his seat, uncomfortably from the fact that his boss had seen a glimpse of his dick and the lingering of eyes on the street. Before he had the chance to raise his voice, a panting Gavin rushed to the vehicle with a dishevelled appearance. Zooming past the suffocating crowd without a second-thought about the visitors, a series of gasps bounced off. Although he was enjoying the tranquil hour in the bath not too long ago, a terrible boisterous call echoed through the silent hallway of the lodge. Y/N felt like a single mother, nursing her adult children who were still dependant on her breast milk. 

The door creaked back open, droplets of water splashed onto the ground from the mop-like hair of the American. Gripping on the car, he breathed out in intermittently broken syllables from the exhausting run, “The port at Liverpool, the machine guns had been taken… by a gang called The Snatchers.”

Taking a deep inhale of the smoke which nearly killed her off, her eyes glared into the void as her head spun around. Dots in her head danced with one another, swirling on a platform. 

Dante pushed himself up, head poking into the front seat, the darting eyes of the crowd did not quiver him from the sudden news, “Well? Whose turn was it to fetch?” 

After taking a deep breath to stabilize himself, Gavin mumbled, “Fredrick and Henry.”

“Weren’t there supposed to be five men?” Connor quirked up.

Dante shook his head, finger pinching the bridge of his nose, “No, after retrieving previous cargoes successfully, I cut some men out.”

“That’s nearly a two-hour drive. We won’t be able to make it in time.” Connor stated while a waver weaved through his words.

The woman took her last inhale through her nostrils, the warm fumes wrapped around her head; her only solace and bliss in the situation God had decided to test her with, “We will, we just have to be very careful.”

Suddenly, the crucial meeting with Thomas Shelby had been thrown into the canal. And oh, if only they could read her mind.

Sharp clicks paced with the heartbeat of the kneeling American. The dried up blood created cracks at the edge with a tender middle. The frayed edges of what used to run through Fredrick’s bloodstream had now smeared against his face as if he had been a canvas for a rouge try-out, or whatever ladies pat on their cheeks with. If his younger sister was to test his face with her newest addition to her collection of beauty products, he would be the result of the horrible attempt. With every energy left that he could muster; with every last bit of power he could mumble a desperate prayer to whoever had watched down on his pathetic life, he had realized it was a she. 

“Now, now, what you doin’ near the ocean, kitten?” Even though she was to be at the meeting place with an old friend who she was in debt to, there was no time for her to play dress up for the event. She felt the happenstance of the abrupt commotion and Tommy’s request for her to dress for a horse ride nearly chilling. “Oh, you brought friends for us to play with.”

Trailing behind her were glaring, flared nostrils of shotguns. The only Italian in the damp, humid storage for the shipments, clenched a tighter grip around the stock which let out a faint crack, once his eyes rested upon the bloodied victim who endured his wrong decision. A freshly plucked out cigarette rested in between her fingers. The stick huffed with its exhale flying through the air. Roars of ships sang alongside the crashing of waves against the concrete of the port. Bitter salt twanged as the heavy secreting pores of the ocean regurgitated in the air. The thieves wore hefty buckle belts. The narrow diameter squeezed their waists which bulged out to gravitate downwards. 

“Funny thing is, my business is clean. There was a time I played with blood because you see, I don’t like when people touch what’s mine. Got away with the papers when they overtook my cargoes. Rest in peace.” Moving her fingers in a cross gesture, she shut her eyes to listen to the tapping of feet chanting behind her. The soil had been trickled with streams of water from the exterior of the building, the light drizzle of rain spewed a rather, merciful coat of water. “Honestly, I can’t remember their names because I’m too busy to deal with shits like you.”

A minute of silence played in the air, no response from the stealers before they all broke into hearty laughter. Their hands splayed against their obnoxiously rounded stomachs that seemed to be drowning in barrels of liquor while they squeezed out crow-like cackles as if she had uttered a jest.

“Yeah? Shouldn’t you be sucking your husbands’ cock?” Once the words fell off the man whose face was uncanny to that of a snapping turtle, another series of laughter weaved through them. Deliriously, their snorts were no different than that of a crying hyena whose head rested on the cutting board. “Or mine, looking at that awfully empty finger.”

Y/N’s fingers curled into a fist. She felt exposed even though that was the entire plan when she had removed her gloves, shoved it into the car as soon as the car halted. Pressing the trigger was more efficient without the barrier. From an American grazing eye, she had yet to adjust to the frigid air circulating on the island. In the beginning, her knuckles were overdosed on the shots of morphine swimming in her bloodstream. Now? Strands of heat were ready to strangle his collapsing throat. To press the button which would end the whole mess caused her head to release endorphins. Pissed off, just ever so slightly, at the unfair amount of participants, they were one to three. Y/N should’ve known better than to hope because nothing seemed to be cooperating with her. Her blood boiled under California scorching sun. In the furthest back, protected by the walls of slices of bread, was a leg perched on her wooden crate. As if an arched back to heighten the hobbit’s stooping height. Noticing the clench of her muscle in her jaw, the man continued at his jabs.

“Why? Were you whoring around? Hm? Wouldn’t mind those pretty lips of yours around my cock.”

Taking in another drag, she whiffed the fume through her nose before the wind had the chance to drift it away, stomping on the dying stick once it was no use to her. As if a rehearsed silent code, cocking of guns sang behind her, followed by a choir from the startled men.

“Hope you don’t mind me shoving my gun in your ass.” And the first gunshot echoed through the bustling port, followed by a melody of cracking of air.

“Fuck. I missed the meeting with Tommy.”

“There is a hole in your waist and you worry ‘bout a reunion?”

Rolling her eyes at Dante’s antics, Y/N let out a groan. The muscles around the embedded bullet clenched around the foreign object which clearly should not even be in her. A blistering pain echoed in surges, each rounds a higher level of endurance than the previous. Flushed with pink tint smeared across her face, beads of sweat trickled down her pores, which had been gushed out as a cooling mechanism to ease the scorching heat of the gunshot. Grinding her teeth as if stone mortar to pastel, powdered sugar puddled in the cracks before swimming in with her huffing saliva. 

“Today’s the only day he’s free and I fucking missed it.” With her head thrown back onto the seat where trails of sticky liquid clamoured on her back, she wanted to lean away from her pesky kids who persistently cried out for a jar of lemon sweets. 

Dante let out an annoyed huff when her body leaned away even though he had been trying his best to place pressure on the gushing hole. Her sailor blouse had been drenched with the litre of fleeing blood, “Would you stop? Before we can get to the bloody place, we’d end up with your corpse.”

“Say what you want, I’ll be here haunting your asses.” 

“We can’t go back to the lodge, supplies ran out.” Connor stated, eyes darting at the rear mirror.

Dante quirked his eyebrows at the driver from the backseat after he had managed to grip around her shoulders tightly, not blinking an eye to the noise that was a mixture of a hiss and a grimace, “You saying we go to the hospital?”

Although she was in agonizing pain, the word fell into her ears as if a droplet before a storm. Her business was official. She had the law on her side with stacks of paper to indicate her license. But if she was to be dumped into the hospital, drowning in her own blood, most likely three-quarters corpse, she didn’t want to deal with the cops. All they were going to do is nag and ramble while she would be wrapped in bandages like a mummy. 

“Can’t go to the hospital. They’ll ask too many questions.” 

“Well, then my queen, where shall I drag your dying body to?” Dante sardonically threw an eyebrow.

“The hotel, I’m sure I can work with what I have.”

Part 1 | Part 3

[geekkatsblog]

Grey’s Anatomy season 16x18 review (I am so confused.)

This episode was resting in the middle of boring but with some huge plot twists involved.

Let’s start with the most confusing/biggest plot twist of the episode.

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Deluca

Finally had his break down, or did he? On one hand I did think that the girl was extremely nervous and looked at her aunt for every answer. I found that odd but as a person with anxiety I can understand having someone do it for you. But when he started talking about the trafficking thing I was shook, but then he started pushing his theory on everyone and re arranging a very lovely schedule to follow his theory of the girl being in a sex trafficking ring, and I was like Deluca has gone off, the moment with them circling him to detain him was so heartbreaking the look of confusion on his face and him begging them to believe him, and his sister Carina crying for him to calm down you could visibly see the concern and pain on her face and then Deluca finally went with the guards and quit his job only for Meredith to talk him out of it by promising to call the authorities to check out the case. (The ending though left me confused not only because they just let him walk out of the hospital after having a ‘mental breakdown’ but his theory was RIGHT??? now I really hope not because that would cause drama because not only would the hospital be in trouble for letting them leave but Deluca would thing that he’s fine and carry on the way he is. He may have been right but he is definitely having issues other wise. I really hop that some one helps him soon or we’re going to have a Deluca accident on our hands. (It has been a while since one of the more important characters has had an accident.

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Teddy/Owen/Koracick  (Thank God for small mercies that Amelia and Link were able to step out of that mess.)

First thing first, I’m so proud of Tom for turning Teddy down and telling her to go back to Owen he crushed me at the point when he said he’d be fine because it means he’ll be fine alone like he always is.(When are they going to let him into their club.) It’s for the best and my boy Tom though, so can move on to better things, there’s more fish in the sea honey. provided that he isn’t arrested for fraud. He told Teddy to go home to her fiance and kids and plan her wedding, You go Tom.

I do not know what is going on with Teddy, she really is shocking me, her anger with Amelia is unfounded in my opinion, It would have been different if she was single, but she was dating Link and in the end the person she was in the relationship should know first, and she was trying to get the situation under ,control and her knowing about Amelia’s paternity issue is not at fault for her cheating. The idea had to be in her head for a while and she just too the first excuse and ran with it.

 Tom did her a favor telling her go to Owen. She has been in love with him and fought for him since the beginning, now that she has him she’s ruining it. But however this has to be the most serious and relatable love triangle we’ve seen on Grey’s, usually they’re flirty, sexual and immature but in this one you can see how torn Teddy is, she’s in love with Tom and how good he makes her feel but is in love, is engaged and has two kids with Owen, (who is actually being a pretty good partner for once in a relationship.) For the first time since the Derek/ Finn/ Meredith love triangle I’m interested in seeing what happens. In the end when she wanted to tell him the truth I actually felt sorry you could see the guilt and confliction on her face. She really in love with both men.

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Levi/ Nico 

I think out of all of the things of Grey’s this one upset me the most. I don’t understand what happened. How did Nico do a whole 180 turn in like half a season. I loved their relationship. One of the only ones who had fun conversations instead of just arguing and sex, but now Nico has decided he wants that for them and not even the arguing just the sex. I would have never guessed he would have gotten like this he was so sweet. But nope he literally broke up with Levi because Levi wanted to be able to share his opinion in a relationship which is definitely an important part of any relationship. Then he applied for a job that he’s going to be away for at least 6 months a year and didn’t even think to discuss it with Levi. That’s crap a decision like that would affect the person you’re in a relationship with and you should at least discuss it with them even if you do still take the job. (I remember in season 8 Ben and Bailey had a similar problem when he applied to be a surgical intern an didn’t tell her and they had a conversation just like the one Levi and Nico needs to have.) Quite honestly right now their relationship is looking quite one sided an Helm was right. Levi deserves better. They basically broke up in this episode and I’m sad because I really was pulling for them. 

Levi’s living arrangements were unexpected but I’m glad he’s leaving his mom’s basement and Nico’s apartment. It’s time for him to be more on his own, he needs to be able to stand up for himself instead of being the cute puppy who gets kicked around.

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Jo

My poor baby, she seems so confused and hurt right now. She sleeps on her couch instead of the bed and is just flat out depressed I feel so sorry for her and now that Link’s a dad and won’t be around as much as used to be and Deluca is out for sure right now so I guess her and Levi are going to be friends right now and I hope they are only going to be friends because they’re relationship was toxic from the beginning she used him and then treated him like crap (Still does from time to time.) Friends sure, because it really does look like he needs someone and right now so does she but nothing else. The scared me with Jackson asking her out to the game for a moment I thought they were going to be a thing but we dodged that bullet I guess. I hope she can find a last name as well because it hurt to see her trying to define herself. Looking forward to seeing what name she’s going to choose .

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Link/Amelia

Finally able to return to baby bliss. They are so adorable, and they better be end game. Amelia has had enough relationship problems. It’s time for her to get a break from the drama and have some peace. I’m just so happy she and Link are back together. He gave up his dream job for her and his baby and she was willing to make it work so he could pursue it. with some better communication I think they can be Grey’s second power couple (Fingers and toes crossed.)

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Jackson 

Just broke up with Vic and so he has an extra ticket for a basket ball game, was blown off by Ben as well and offered it to almost everyone he saw but Koracick. I wanted him to end up having to ask him maybe he would notice that Tom isn’t actually a douche and Tom could actually have a friend (who is going to hurt him by having an affair with him and may go back to her fiance and kids) but as usual in order to paint him out as the worst person ever Jackson refused to ask him which leaves room for my wish that Bailey would be his person. Then he asked Dr Haynes, I wished that he had gone with him because he’s yet another doctor who’s outside the club and that would have been the perfect time to gain the acceptance. Him asking Richard thought was perfect, he needs some one right now and he was kind of like a father to Jackson so it’s good to see that they can still spend time together without Catherine. 

Right now Jackson is just living his life carrying on the teachings of Mark Sloan. 

(Where’s Harriet though? We haven’t seen her in 2 years, I know she’s with April But She doesn’t visit either)

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Richard

Is on his way to sell his path’s pen seeing that he can’t do surgery anymore. I hope he gets through, at this point I feel like the chances of him getting back with Catherine is very slim, I’m glad to see that him and Maggie’s relationship is stronger than ever and Jackson took him out for the night and Bailey and Meredith will always be there for him So I hope that he knows that he has support and people who love him.

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Meredith

Didn’t actually have much plot besides planning the event and then solving it. Her helping Deluca was good. I don’t think her getting back into something with him would be a good thing. I’ve been wondering if his illness was even what caused him to push into a relationship with her. 

Either way she planned the surgeries, then had to save the surgeries by accepting Koracicks fraud money. (She wouldn’t be Meredith Grey if she didn’t tbh, anytime there’s a storm coming Meredith Grey is going to be in it.) Delt with some disgruntled patients, Spoke to Dr Haynes and saved some lies.

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Bailey

Winning the Grey’s relationship game as usual, had to pull Deluca from attacking a patient and allowed him to leave alone after the meltdown and saved lives.

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Maggie

Spoke to Richard and that was about it, but her time is coming next week, based on the promo. (You get it hun.)

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Notes/ Questions

Was that girl really in a trafficking ring?????? (She had the hair like the woman, but that’s easy to fake but she also had a good cover story, and the girl ran to her when Deluca was having his melt down but the way that woman pulled her away at the end Idk. hope it isn’t bring confusion to Grey Sloan.

Is Deluca going to get the help he needs before he gets hurt or ends up in more problems?

Is Richard going to be ok? or is he going to have a relapse? Will he and Catherine get back together?

What’s going to happen to my baby Jo? And what will she call herself now?

Is Tom going to be in trouble? what he did was illegal even if for a good cause. And is Meredith going to be involved if he should go down? She did accept the money

Are Levi and Nico officially over? Will Nico take the job or choose Levi? 

And last but not least What the hell is going to Happen to the Teddy/ Owen / Koracick triangle. Will she finally confess?

[sometimesrosy]

Ugh. I'm rewatching season 2 and I'm just so mad at Lxa. She's clearly what drove Clarke to darkness, who pushed her to lose herself. No wonder I never shipped it. Since she showed up Clarke has gone downhill. First killing Finn, then Tondc, then MW. Lxa doesn't even know Clarke, that's why her biggest regret is leaving her in MW and not telling her that love is weakness, that's when she started losing it. And why starting a fire wouldn't have worked to evacuate Tondc? It was a good idea.

I tend to think it’s a bit more complicated than that. Clarke’s fall was a series of events, not just one person, but multiple moments of choice, characters who influenced her and traumas.

I also don’t think Clarke went downhill-- that’s the wrong term for me. I think “fall” could work, but also “went on a dark journey.” It’s not that she got WORSE, she actually got more powerful and more thoughtful and more knowledgeable, she just also lost something in that journey that was good about the naive Clarke from s1. But that Clarke couldn’t have done what Clarke of s6 did.  Right? So, it’s not so much that L ruined Clarke, as L was an important part of her story making her who she was.

I actually think the damage to Clarke started on the Ark, when she found out the ship was dying. Her secure world was damaged. Then when they floated her father. When she thought Wells was the one who told. When she realized she was wrong and he was innocent and then died. When she realized it was Abby who turned Jake in. When Charlotte died. When Finn had a girlfriend. When they couldn’t save the people from the culling. When they tortured Lincoln. When Bellamy told her who she had to be to survive and who she was were different things. When she killed that soldier. When she set the ring of fire. When they were kidnapped by MW. When Anya died right before rescue. When Finn massacred the village. 

See. All that happened before she met L. When she fell for Finn, she didn’t buy his little con game that he was playing. He wanted to make her dependent on him, but she held her own council and decided for herself who to trust. She was right about Bellamy, but when she tried to partner with L the way she did with Bellamy, she was manipulated and betrayed.

And that manipulation DID start from their first meeting. But L seemed to be the kind of leader who got things done, and she had lost her delinquents and failed Finn, and bore the guilt of his death on her hands. She ASKED lxa for advice on how to do this thing, this leadership, and she believed the persona of the visionary leader, the act, which was very important to the grounders, and listened to L as if she was RIGHT and she didn’t need to question her. Which she should have, the way she questioned Bellamy and Finn and Wells and even her mother. But she wanted someone to know the right way to go. And she needed to ally with L to get her people free. 

So HOW was L able to twist her up and take her power and make her think that it was okay to sacrifice people and lie to people and betray people and all that? Well first of all, she IS from a world that did that, although she thought it was wrong. She TRIED to tell the truth and caused chaos (Murphy’s Law.) The people she loved died. Jake, Wells, Finn. It WAS a vulnerability, and she was so traumatized that she wanted the easy answer: “everyone does it.” “love is a weakness.” “I did it for my people.” Because it kept her heart protected.

Finn’s execution, Love is a weakness, Lxa’s betrayal and the genocide of Mount weather are all s2 moments whose effects lingered FAR into the future. 

She gave up her power to Lxa in season 3 because she couldn’t bear what she had done with her power and how caring for her people had turned her into a monster. It was easier to let Lxa lead. And the same thing happened with Bellamy and Pike, although his traumatic moments were different.

But yeah. Starting a fire would have evacuated the village without warning the spy that Bellamy was in MW. That was part of Lxa’s manipulation of Clarke that endeavored to take away her power and faith in herself. Pike did similar things to Bellamy. 

[monsters-demons-and-ai-oh-my]

What We Lost and What We Have

Chapter 9:   Wookies, warnings and homophobic grandpas

In which Jack’s sneak stat is a 2, Sam has a weird story about a wookie encounter, and everybody needs a pep talk.

TW’s for this chapter: Talk about past sibling death (not of a main character)

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AU somewhat inspired by Episode 2x20 - What Is and What Should Never Be, and the season 14 storyline concerning Jack’s illness.

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AO3 Link

Previous Chapter

First Chapter

Complete Tumblr Chapter List

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Jack spent almost the whole two hours or so Castiel was gone on his phone and part of Sam was elated.

He’d drafted the same email about corporate responsibility (for the proliferation of inaccurate information on rechargeable batteries) six times now. It was incredibly dull technical writing and he hadn’t been able to focus at all.

Every line of legal jargon he managed to type was interspersed with his mind screaming.

“Say something!”

Sam had come back to the hospital with a purpose, to be helpful to hold out the olive branch to Castiel and BE there for Jack.

-

But ‘there’ was all he was…

-

He had no idea what to say to Jack. The day before had been easy enough, everything had been one long train wreck fed by the intrinsic emotions that came with serious illness. But now that things had calmed down and everyone especially Jack was not on the verge of emotional collapse? He had no idea what Jack needed from him.

And outside of what Jack explicitly needed or wanted it wasn’t like Sam had a deep well of topics to draw upon for small talk..

-

‘What the hell did Sam have in common with a kid literally half his age?’

“What do you say to your estranged baby brother when at his age one of your main goals was keeping the hell away from him?”

-

It didn’t help that Jack himself seemed to suddenly become incredibly shy, only occasionally peeking at Sam sheepishly when he thought the man wasn’t looking…

“So you like… Star Wars?” Sam finally blurted after twenty long minutes of silence.

Jack blinked at Sam in confusion at the out of the blue question before glancing at the back of his themed phone case and flushing slightly.

“I… Yes?” Jack looked a little unsure.

Sam grabbed onto the subject, “Who’s your favorite character?”

Jack’s phone buzzed in his hand and the kid glanced between Sam and the screen nervously before setting it gingerly aside.

“I think… I think Finn is pretty cool?”

Sam suddenly realized his mistake, he knew absolutely nothing about the new movies, he’d been too busy to get around to watching any of them

“Oh that’s… cool… I used to have a Chewbacca plush when I was a little kid,” Sam tried instead.

There was a long moment with no noise but the passive whirring of one of the machines and a soft cough from Jack.

“Oh?” the teenager said politely.

“Yeah it was pretty cool, original too, apparently those things are worth a few hundred dollars now…”

-

‘What are you babbling about now Sam?’

-

Jack smiled and that made it seem worth it though.

“So do you collect stuff like that or something?” he asked curiously.

“Well no, it was kind of… destroyed?” Sam huffed a little sheepish.

“Destroyed?”

“Yeah… Like I said, I got it when I was a little kid, I chewed on the fabric weapons belt until it tore off and one day I left it outside and it rained so it got all mildew-y,“ Sam quickly explained fumbling for purchase with the Jack’s interest.

Jack pulled a face, "that’s too bad…”

“The final straw though was when Dean called it a moldy sloth and I hit him with it, he tried to take it away from me and it tore raining the carpet with mildew-y stuffing…” Sam chuckled to himself.

“That’s pretty destroyed,” Jack looked mildly grossed out.

Sam missed his cue to let it go.

“Thing was though even after all that I still didn’t want to throw the thing out, I was too attached, So at six I thought it was a great idea to  put this damp mildewed furry thing in a pillowcase, tie the pillowcase shut and hide it in my bed’s box spring…”

Jack’s only response was to stifle another cough in his elbow.

“We didn’t find it again until my bed started smelling like mildew, somehow it spread into the wood of the box spring and the bottom of my mattress, and the wookie… well it was some other kind of furry when my dad finally pulled it out.”

Things were dead quiet and when Sam glanced back up at Jack, he looked uncomfortable, “O-oh?” Jack said diplomatically.

-

‘You… really overshare Sam, for fu-…’

-

“Yeah… it was… nasty, sorry, that was a long time ago.”

Jack’s eyebrows drew down a little and he looked rejected for a moment. Sam wondered if it was something that he’d said.

There was another few minutes of awkward silence before Jack’s phone buzzed again and he glanced nervously between it and Sam.

“Just… go ahead I’ll… “ Sam awkwardly tapped the side of his laptop and just like that they both went back to their designated devices as if nothing had been said.

Sam didn’t know how to talk to Jack, every happy childhood memory he had was from before Jack was born and didn’t include him, and even outside of that, he didn’t really know Jack’s personality, what made him smile, what bothered him… what he loved.

Jack seemed to be cautiously trying to connect too and somehow that made things worse, like they were both going for a high five and Sam kept awkwardly missing.

-

‘Trying to meet in a middle that might not even exist…’

-

Sam quickly went back to his emails and stayed with his head buried there until Castiel got back a while later.

———————————-

“I’m so, so sorry I fell asleep in the parking lot, Where’s Jack?” Castiel asked anxiously before the door even swung closed behind him..

He looked a lot better, his hair still damp but neatly combed and finally dressed down a little bit in a fresh shirt and no jacket.

“He’s fine,” Sam quickly placated, “the nurse just… took him for an X-ray of his arm. I think they wanted to put on a cast or something.”

The man relaxed a little and sighed going back to his spot beside the bed, “right… yes, they… mentioned they might do that today if the swelling was down… I…” He brushed back his hair wearily, “was everything alright while I was gone?”

Sam shrugged, “it was just like I said, nothing bad happened because you stepped away for a few minutes…”

Castiel shot him a look and for a moment Sam worried if he’d crossed a line but the man quickly relaxed again.

“I know you probably think I’m being… paranoid, and I don’t know, maybe I am, or maybe you just can’t understand this, but Jack…” Castiel’s eyes were far away, “I don’t want to take any chances with him…”

Sam felt the same mild discomfort he had for days now, seeing Castiel vulnerable just… felt wrong. The time away had done him good but for every bit less manic he looked now he looked ten times more exhausted.

“You’re right I really don’t get it…” Sam huffed. “I mean the way I see it he’s already in the safest place he could be.”

Castiel snorted sounding unconvinced.

“I but then again I’ve never been a parent so, guess I wouldn’t…” Sam paused, he was coming off all wrong, “I don’t know… what this is like for you.”

Castiel eyed him a little amused, “I didn’t know you even thought of me that way… I… I don’t want you to think I’m some nut but who doesn’t trust modern medicine…”

“I don’t, I’m sure your not…” Sam said quickly.

“It’s just…” Castiel rubbed at his face. “The doctors were doing the best they could when my sister died, sometimes it feels like “the best” still doesn’t mean much …”

Sam paused trying to figure out whether his next words would be welcome or get him another dirty look.

“I mean, I don’t really think things are that bad…”

-

‘Dirty look, it definitely got him a dirty look.’

-

Sam quickly switched gears, “what I mean is, Jack seems better today so maybe the doctors are on the right track. Or better yet this thing, whatever it is, is just sorting itself out…”

“You didn’t hear what the doctor said last night, you don't…” Castiel sighed and rubbed at his forehead.

“Don’t you have a job to get back to… in California?” Castiel muttered wearily.

For a moment, Sam felt affronted and maybe a little hurt, but there was no real malice in Castiel’s words and the message became clear.

-

'Change the subject…’

-

“I asked for some time off…” Sam shrugged, “most of our case prep work is done over the internet nowadays anyway…”

Some of the senior partners hadn’t been too happy about it if Mr. Roman’s rather passive aggressive “I hope your family matter clears up soon,” was anything to go by.

But none of the other junior partners seemed to mind at all…

-

'Probably glad to have a chance to get ahead and prove themselves…’

'Part of Sam wished he still cared, but lately…’

-

Castiel just nodded noncommittally.

“What about you… the high school?” Sam tried, “you’re a teacher right?, how’s that going without you?”

“There’s a substitute…” Cas said simply.

“Oh…” Sam screamed internally, he thought the man wanted a distraction but now it just felt like trying to keep up a conversation with a brick wall.

“I… already had the last few weeks of lessons planned out and review worksheets written up, so while I can’t be there right now,  my classes should be… prepared.” Castiel muttered suddenly, seeming lost in thought, “That’s… one thing I’ve always prided myself on… being prepared…”

Sam caught the implication but decided not to feed into it.

“it’ll be okay…” Sam said simply.

Castiel blinked at him in confusion, “I know they will, Mr. Wyatt is an excellent substitute teacher.”

-

‘Okay maybe Sam was lost…’

-

He snorted further confusing Castiel.

“What?”

“Nothing…” Sam shook his head, “Jack… he… he told me he misses school.

Castiel blinked in surprise, he opened his mouth to ask something but before he could get the words out there was a knock at the door.

"Delivery,” a voice called.

Jack appeared in the doorway being wheeled in by the nurse Meg with a new violently blue cast on his arm and a sheepish look on his face.

“Jack,” Castiel smiled relieved earning him a nervous smile back from Jack.

He seemed much more stable on his feet than the day before when he climbed gingerly out of the wheelchair as the nurse re-hung the IV bags.

“They’re taking him off the oxygen for now,” the nurse said, her tone seemed considerably nicer now that Jack was awake.

-

'She probably had infinitely more patience for sick kids, than antagonistic asshole family members who just act like children…’

-

“It’s getting easier to breathe now,” Jack said brightly, even though his pronouncement was almost immediately broken up by wheezy coughing.

“That’s um… that’s great Jack,” Castiel said gently eyes still distracted back on the nurse.

'With a pang of amusement, Sam caught Jack carefully peeking at his phone beneath his blanket when he thought his uncle wasn’t watching.’

“So um… was everything alright?” Castiel asked the nurse, trying to keep his voice chipper and upbeat.

She blinked at him sardonically, “Nope, his wrist is definitely fractured.”

Castiel’s eyebrows furrowed, “That’s not what I…”

She interrupted, “I know, but that’s all I really have to tell you, everything else is above my pay grade, you’ll have to wait on the doctor for any more papa bear.”

Castiel gave a frustrated huff glancing back at Jack who quickly dropped the covers back down over his phone and glanced around sheepishly.

-

'If Castiel noticed he didn’t say anything.’

-

“You wanna know my professional opinion on this?” the nurse quickly re-drew both men’s attention.

“I don’t know but I feel like you’re going to give it to me either way…” Castiel sighed.

“I can’t guess at what’s going on with your kid, or whether he’ll keep getting better or worse, I could get the hospital sued and lose my job and all that,” Meg shrugged, glancing back over at Jack who was sitting up in bed and playing with his phone “sneakily” under the covers again.

“But…” her voice softened, “he seems to be having a good day… so I’d say try to take today for what it is… and enjoy it.”

Sam wished her saying that did anything to calm the ripples of anxiousness in his stomach, a feeling that must be like waves breaking on the beach in Castiel…

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Dean wished he could say he changed his mind as soon as Sam walked out of the shop, but it took another day and a half…

He’d finished rebuilding the Cuevas’s Jeep’s engine block, changed a fuel filter on some Uni Kid’s car and an engine coil on another’s before he even looked back at his phone again.

No missed calls, no texts. Either everything was fine or Sam also didn’t want to talk to him.

-

'What else was new.’

-

Either way Dean refused to be the first one to call back. He’d meant what he said and if Sam wanted to act all pissy about it that was his business.

But by the next morning his familiar routine tasted like a Kahlua hangover in the back of his throat.

He was already in a bad mood at eight am when Jesse came to pick up his Jeep from the shop.

“I thought you were going to pick up this hunk of junk yesterday…” Dean scowled hands tucked in his pockets a little defensively.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed…” Jesse sounded bemused waving briefly over his shoulder at his husband waiting with the truck running.

“It would have been nice not to be in a time crunch, yeah…” Dean snorted, pulling out a beer from the mini fridge in the garage’s work area.

“Sorry man,” Jesse shrugged guiltily, “I got a call I couldn’t miss. I thought you said you weren’t busy anyway. Something come up?”

“Brother’s in town,” Dean could feel the man eyeing him concerned as he sipped his morning beer.

“You want one?” Dean offered half sarcastically.

“It’s eight Winchester,” Jesse said flatly.

Dean shrugged.

Jesse sighed pulling out his wallet and fishing out an envelope of cash to pay for the repair, “seriously man what’s eating you, 'cause I’ve met Sam and he doesn’t normally get under your skin like this.”

Dean said nothing just took the money and headed towards the office..

Jesse shook his head looking half amused half irritated following him, “look, me and Cesar are meeting with a few friends at Gabe’s to celebrate tonight, maybe come by if you’re feeling less pissy past nine…”

Dean snorted handing over the cash to the teenager behind the desk, “what are you a fourteen-year-old girl? I’m not 'pissy’.”

“You’re one of the pissiest person I’ve ever met Dean Winchester,” Jesse said with a good-natured smile.

“He’s right, you’re like, super pissy…” Claire remarked flatly counting the cash out into the drawer and not meeting her boss’s glare.

Dean snorted tossing Jesse the Jeep keys, “just try the damn engine already…”

Jesse laughed and Dean followed him out to the car, wanting to remain annoyed but significantly distracted.

“What are you celebrating anyway?” Dean finally asked unable to suppress his admittedly childish curiosity.

“Retirement,” Jesse said simply.

Dean blinked in mild confusion, “dude you’re like 36…”

Jesse grinned infuriatingly and climbed into the Jeep cab, “I know right?”

He let the curiosity eat away at Dean as he revved the engine.

It purred like it was fresh off the line and Dean couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride at the pleased look on the other man’s face.

“Beautiful, man,” Jesse said patting the side of the door.

Before Dean could ask Jesse if he’d won the lottery or something he pointed to Dean and said simply.

“Nine-Thirty, Gabe’s.”

Dean shook his head, “fine, fine.”

The man smiled, gave a brief thumbs up to his husband in the other vehicle and they both drove off leaving Dean to sit with his extremely mild curiosity and confusion.

Dean rolled his eyes and tried to get back to work.

“Pissy my ass…”

He hated feeling like this.

He had his mother who was doing better then she had been in years teaching mythology at the University and his standoffish little brother who came for Christmas. That was his family.

A house that was payed off in full and the shop he inherited from John that he kept running like a well oiled machine. That was his life.

Dean had made mistakes in the past, lost people in the past

-

Who hadn’t?

-

He’d made his peace with that and moved on.

He’d decided long ago that Jack and Castiel had their own sad chapter in the Winchester’s life but it was long over. Their lives were two completely separate stories now…

-

'Dean was sure the kid couldn’t want the fact he was born because some guy made a mistake, got drunk, and cheated on his wife following him around his whole life… Or at least… he’d get that was a bad thing when he was older.’

-

As far as Dean was concerned they were better off forgetting that shitty night ever happened, and he knew forgetting was the right thing to do but people constantly questioning his every decision wasn’t helping.

Sam’s self-righteous huffing and puffing.

Jesse’s… amusement.

Castiel’s confusion over the phone.

-

'Don’t act like you care all of a sudden…’

Things were so much simpler when there was just vague dislike and mistrust between the two of them…

-

Why was he even worried about this? Castiel said the kid was doing better, that should be the end of it.

If Dean saw someone hit by a car he’d try to help, call 911, stay by their side and keep them calm until the ambulance came.

-

'He was a decent man, despite what Sam might think.’

-

What Dean wouldn’t do was follow them around the accident victim for the next six months and bludgeon and prod their family for information and acknowledgment.

-

Jack and Castiel weren’t family.

Not really.

-

Jack was blood sure, but he was blood like a great aunt who lived six states away who nobody talked to for some stupid reason no one remembered, why bring up old shit?

There was too much baggage and bitterness.

Better to leave the great dam of 2000’s infidelity up between Kansas and Indiana as a monument to the shitty past rather than go picking at it and have all the crap pour out.

-

‘Dean felt dangerously close to drowning in that bitterness already.’

-

If Sam wanted to swing an ax at that himself (like the lumberjack in business casual he looked like) Sam could deal with the resulting flood himself.

He repeated the last thought to himself until he finished up for the day, leaving Claire to lock up the building.

He was of half a mind to ignore Jesse’s offer and just head home, but…

-

He didn’t think the empty house would do anything to calm his mind and drinking alone was just sad.

-

“Screw it,” He turned at the first red light and headed towards Gabe’s.

He set his phone to silent and decided to act as if that corner of his life didn’t exist for the evening.

He was spotted as soon as he entered the Gabe’s, Cesar grinning at him and gesturing him over to the little group at the bar.

“Hey Dean, sit, first round’s on us,” Jesse called from around his husband.

It was a little bit to Cheers-y for comfort but Dean didn’t fight it sighing and sidling up to the bar.

“Whiskey, neat…” Dean ordered gruffly.

Gabe poured the whiskey one eyebrow slightly raised, “well you’re awful chipper today Deano.”

“Yeah well I don’t even know what we’re supposed to be celebrating yet so…” Dean toasted in Jesse’s general direction smile not reaching his eyes “What’s the party for?”

“New beginnings,” Jesse smiled lifting up his own glass. “Finally bought the property of our dreams.”

Dean blinked, “yeah? How’d you swing that?”

“Finally sold the old shop…” Cesar said smiling at Jesse proudly.

Dean blinked, feeling a slightly bitter pang of nostalgia. He could remember long summers going out with friends and dates to rent kayaks and buy ice cream from Jesse’s family’s old rental shack by Clinton lake.

“Business finally get that bad?” Dean felt how rude the words were in his mouth and cringed internally, but Jesse just snorted and smiled.

“Just the opposite actually, it’s shaping up to be one of the biggest tourist seasons yet…”

“So… going out on a high then?” Dean took another swig of his whiskey.

“Something like that,” Jesse shrugged.

“The Gallager kid turned 25 and he’s been working there since he was 16, we figured he was probably ready to take over,” Cesar explained.

“Wait time out,“ Gabe cut into the conversation brandishing his bar rag. "Dude hasn’t your family been running that place since most of the people in the old folks home were in diapers the first time?”

“That’s the thing though, it’s always been my family’s thing,” Jesse said diplomatically, “I only actually took over because my brother was gone, my grandpa in fact had some strong opinions on ‘people like me’.” Jesse snorted, “honestly I think I only stayed so long out of spite, that and I promised mom… I always meant to let the place go when I found someone to take care of it. It was never what I dreamed about doing…”

“Sam was the same way, never wanted to work at the shop…" Dean huffed a laugh, “He never could get along with dad… so it would have been fucking weird if he stayed.”

-

John had been angry; not so much at Sam wanting to go his own way but just… how vehemently against staying Sam had been. “You just can’t wait to leave your family behind can you?”

“Don’t you dare, you don’t get to say that to me, not you!” Sam spat back.

-

“Why wallow in the shitty past when you can just move on…” Dean muttered coming back to himself in the bar.

Jesse turned his glass in his hands looking pensive, “Sometimes it felt like that… but no that’s not really it.”

Dean’s eyebrows rose.

Jesse quickly explained, “I mean yeah there was a lot of shit there, but I grew up around that old shack, me and my brother worked there pretty much every summer after we were old enough to see over the counter…”

Dean whiskey tasted ashy in his mouth, he remembered Jesse’s big brother, he’d always been the cool older teen who’d give you an extra half scoop of ice cream when “the boss” wasn’t looking.

-

He’d drowned on a fishing trip with his younger brother when Dean was in junior high…

-

Jesse shrugged continuing where he left off, “why would I let one shithead ruin all of that?”

Dean hummed vaguely still feeling a little lost, “but you’re still giving it up now?”

Jesse nodded glancing toward Cesar, “Don’t get me wrong, if my brother was still alive… if I still had family interested in running the place maybe I wouldn’t've… For a long time I thought that was going to be my whole life.”

Cesar gently squeezed his husband’s hand and Dean felt a pang of emotion he pushed away before he could identify it.

Jesse continued, “But I have a family now and I… I just… can’t live in the past anymore.”

Dean felt more lost than ever, “Makes sense I guess, why literally live in all the painful bullshit when you have something better…”

Cesar blinked at Dean, “seriously dude why so dark?”

Dean bit back the need to find a smarmy way to tell his friends it was none of their damn business, “Just shitty family stuff…”

“Your brother?” Jesse asked.

Dean snorted, “you could say that…” he knocked back the rest of his glass. “I just don’t get that kid anymore…”

“He do something stupid?” Jesse asked.

“He’s an adult, he can do what he wants,” Dean snorted and tried to get Gabe’s attention for a second whiskey, “It’s not like we really even talk much anymore, who am I to keep him from shoving his foot up his own ass…”

“Yeah, that’s real convincing…” Jesse shook his head bemused.

Dean hurumphed and muttered a thanks to Gabe who finally came over.

“Are you two still on the same crap from a few days ago?” Gabe asked pouring the second glass.

Jesse and Cesar’s ears perked up and even Gabe’s weird brother Gadreel was watching him from across the room. Dean wondered darkly if there was any privacy left in this town.

“Yeah my own, personal, crap,” Dean said pointedly.

Gabe held up his hands in mock surrender, “okay, okay, fine, don’t talk about it, it’s just seems like whatever "it” is seems to be eating you an awful lot…"

“Yeah well Sam has that effect, he does dumb shit and you worry about him, over and over until it’s just too much and…” Dean wrapped his knuckles on the table, “maybe you have it right and it’s time to cut him loose, move on…”

Jesse pulled a face, “that’s not what I meant at all…”

“Yeah well then what do you mean, because I’m getting tired of guessing,” Dean barked.

Jesse had the courtesy not to smirk at him.

“My point is… I don’t really know Sammy haven’t seen him since he was sixteen but… make sure shutting him out is what you really want, and not just some petty shit.”

It dug like a knife in Dean’s gut, “You’re right you don’t know shit…” Dean muttered taking a swig from his glass…

Jesse smiled more than a little forlornly, “all I do know is, having lost him, if I had a second chance with my brother…” he trailed off, “Make absolutely sure you’re ready to give up your chances at this future, when you’re planning on leaving behind your past…”

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Oof, sorry it took me so long to get back, it’s been a crazy few months and it’s been a struggle to get back to my usual writing routine with everything going on. Hopefully, things will be better now.

[cecewarlock]

Beefs I have with Voltron s8

Allurance:

-Disregarding Allura’s connection to Coran so that Lance can come out as a better option. Allura does have a family, it’s Coran, it seems the earth air gave her amnesia or something, or maybe the writers did, idk… I swear all I could think of during Lance’s “great” speech during their date was “what about Coran?”

-Lance saying “I love you” to Allura on their first date. I don’t think I need to explain this one lol (Ted Mosby)

-Not having any indication that Allura has a crush on Lance beside a blush in season 7.

-Allura giving Lance the Altean marks for absolutely no reason. (Other than having him remember her forever which ok.)

-Lance never being able to move on from Allura and ending up single.

-Lance getting what he wants instead of what he needs. (Which the writers said wasn’t going to happen)

-The nice guy™ trope that shows a woman deciding to date the good guy after declining his advances for a long time. (Big Bang theory syndrome)

Allura:

-Allura’s death is really unnecessary. Honerva has been shown to have the same or even more power than her sooo, why was Allura’s sacrifice needed? They could have also sacrificed Voltron since it seemed it was not needed anymore after they rebooted the universe.

-The death seemed cheesy and not earned at all. Of all of the members of team Voltron, not one tried to stop her (?????????)

-In Avatar the last airbender the writers made sure to show why Yue was the only one that could save the day with her sacrifice. It was poetic. They could have done that as well if they had added any thematic meaning to the scene. Maybe have Allura turn into the white lion that Honerva had previously destroyed, or the old paladins coming back to ride Voltron one last time to restore the universe. The problem isn’t really that she died, but how and why.

-The whole “Allura being possessed by a dark magic creature and going into Honerva’s mind” nonsense.

-Coran and Allura didn’t get to say goodbye.

Lotor:

-Terrible message for anyone who watches the show. His parents that are literally the ones who caused the war, and either directly or indirectly, have caused the death of millions of people while also abusing their son for centuries still get some kind of redemption, while Lotor doesn’t?!

-The shot of his corpse was horrifying and not needed.

-Lotor had the potential of becoming a great villain, and he was, for like two seconds until they decided to throw the whole character away.

-The Voltron team basically murdered him in cold blood, but you won’t hear anything about it. just like you didn’t hear anything about that time Lance died or Keith was about to sacrifice himself.

-That scene where they show Lotor reuniting with his family before the universe is rebooted and they act like its all cool.

Keith and Shiro:

-It doesn’t matter if you ship them or not, no one could deny they had a strong bond. That is gone now baby!

-Shiro marrying a dude with two lines.

Hunk and Pidge:

-Lol who? Pidge’s arc ended the moment she found her family. My sweet boy Hunk barely even had one.

Klance:

No, but seriously, who??!! They had that one™ scene, which, again, what was the point of leaving that scene if it does nothing but confusing people? 

LGBT:

-I have seen people defending the two-second clip at the end by saying “Well they did as much as they could” which okay, I guess… I still don’t think they deserve congratulations for their “representation”. Some of you are probably like “But Adventure time did the same thing, and everyone loved it!” To which I would say no, its not the same thing. The wlw ship in AT had been teased all throughout, the series including a scene were princess Bubblegum sniffs one of Marceline’s t-shirts (I still can’t believe that was something that actually happened). If the writers of Voltron had been in charge of Adventure time Finn would have probably ended up with Bubblegum, and then she would have died lol. I have also heard comparisons to the Legend of Korra. which is understandable. But that show ended five years ago, when the idea of two main lgbt characters on a popular children’s cartoon show was almost unthinkable. I understand that some of the younger fans are used to shows like Steven Universe or She-ra, but back then the most “progressive” lgbt stuff were background characters that appeared for five seconds and had little to no lines. This whole “if we have them kiss, they’ll leave us alone” attitude is, in my opinion, very stupid. As a member of the LGBT myself I always think that having meaningful interactions with the characters is more important than just showing them kissing. This is the reason I hate most of the straight couple who do not have any chemistry whatsoever, or why I usually prefer non-canon gay ships to the ones that are. Although I personally don’t ship it, I think that it’s the interactions between the characters that make people ship Sheith or Klance. My point here is that things have changed. Disney, a company known to never explicitly acknowledge the existence of LGBT people had a major character in a children’s show (Cyrus from “Andi Mack”) come out as gay and have storylines dedicated to him instead of being sidelined. Having a last-minute wedding where Shiro marries a character we don’t know and with whom we haven’t seen him have meaningful interactions with doesn’t really cut it anymore.

General:

-All of team Voltron are so out of character it’s not even funny. I’ve already mentioned the lack of interaction between Shiro and Keith but it really extends to the whole team. Allura and lance are happy with each other for like 2 seconds when they go visit his family but that is it.

-The Altean Colony(s) are never truly explained. It would be okay if it was a minor plot point but the end of season 6 revolves around the twist that Lotor is actually evil and should have never been trusted, a twist that was based on the colony(s). Allura says that Lotor was in fact right in a certain way and the show acknowledges that he deserved better, but it is never revealed when she changed her opinion. Was there ever a second colony? I’m guessing not… Also, why did the colony where they found Romelle looked like the inside of the room Allura used to go to talk to her father? Someone smarter than me please explain the colony(s).

-Romelle. Look I’m all for having more female characters but damn if this is not one of the most useless characters I have ever seen. She only exists to be a witness to Lotor’s crimes and getting her friends to hook up, I guess.

-Balmera ex-machina.  

-Honerva: I actually like Honerva’s story, the flashback episode was probably one of my favorites. I just wanted to complain about the “If I can’t be happy no one else can” line because Jesus fucking Christ it sounds like if it was written by Skeletor. I wanna talk to whoever wrote that line and thought “yeah, that’s what a fully fleshed out, interesting and complex villain would say”.

Conclusion: Voltron had a great potential that couldn't have possibly been wrapped up in one season and both the storylines and the characters suffered because of it. 

Bonus: Things I actually liked

-The animation.

-The Lance Family interactions were great.

-Lotor stealing his mother’s cat.

[bellamygateoldblog]

the 100 ofc!

— this gets a little rant-y and may or may not be coherent- currently pulling an all-nighter and it’s literally 5am- that’s it. That’s my excuse.

all time favourite character

IDK man IDK…I wanna say Jasper, maybe Raven

a character I didn’t used to like but do now

I’ll stick Octavia in this one. I actually did like her at first, then i didn’t then i did then i didn’t then i

a character i used to like but now don’t

[ insert every single character here ] Clarke and Bellamy. Clarke lost me very early season 3 and Bellamy is dead to me as of season 6. I’m throwing Miller in here- when he was that delinquent that wears the beanie I could go for that, but now i’m just straight up annoyed by his presence and want him to go away forever. My reluctant liking of Abby turned sour pretty fast, too. Arming a group of children and sending them out into a warzone to find your daughter, then abandoning them once she’s back is really SOMETHING. And hitting Raven while she’s acting Chancellor…i should beat your ass, Abby

a character i’m indifferent about

Wells: poor treatment of MoC and very valid anger aside, truely I don’t see the facination and borderline obsession fandom has with the character himself- he barely existed. Are you all in love with the idea of him, rather? Or the guy from the book? He was literally in this thing for three episodes, we never actually knew him, nor was he even given the chance to develop or have any sort of story. I see so so much hate about Echo and her lack of development and yet in the same breath y’all are talking about missing Wells and oh what a wonderful character he was. Spare me. He was a character full to the brim with potential and unfortunately that’s all he’ll ever be.

Anya and Lexa, too. I don’t really have opinions formed on either of them, nor do I really care to

a character who deserved better

I mean with that minor Wells rant aside and half a step into my hypocrisy boots…Wells did. Lol. I think he absolutely deserved better than to be killed off in order to push a white woman’s story forwards. I think he deserved better than to have been all about Clarke, his entire character about serving her character, even in death. This show has a history of criminally underusing/sideling/killing their most compelling characters, i think Wells would’ve been such a fun addition to the main band, i wonder how his personality would’ve expanded, what could his arcs have looked like? i think about how his dynamics would form and fair, what might he think of Clarke now?

Jasper deserved better than to have become a nihilist’s wet dream. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing, i really do. The creators, some of the fans even, chat about how it’s a gritty reality, sometimes it’s just Like That, and in some ways that’s absolutely right, but in a show of such loss to have this bleak ending for a character like this is just…a bit of an overkill? What’s wrong with hopeful endings? I mean we literally already had a similar scenario occur with Luna a mere episode(s) before. A woman who strives for nothing more than peace loses her faith in humanity and so fights for death. Why they felt the need to kick a dead horse by doing the same thing with Jasper is beyond me.

Listen many character have demonstrated suicidal tendancies at some point or another: Clarke, Murphy, Bellamy, Octavia, Harper and so on, but Jasper is the only one that gets the actual suicide? The character who’s canon mental illness has been more on the explicit and expressed side, the first victim of the ground, the very character who we’ve watched struggle his way through four seasons with an inconsistent or otherwise absent support system, his story ended with suicide. It’s devastating and, frankly, disrespectful. As if he was too far gone to find his way back into the light.

We saw clearly Monty’s reactions to Jasper’s death, but we didn’t see him grieve- he was busy rushing to survive the end of the world. This show loves sidestepping the consiquences of big events they write- there’s always a new threat to face which means everyone gets to move on abnormally quickly. Nobody asked about Jasper in Becca’s lab, we never actually saw anyone except for Clarke find out about this, nobody in the bunker either, not Octavia, and no mentions of Jasper in season five besides Monty begging him to be wrong about humanity. This show isn’t great with handling their deceased either. They want to focus on a fresh plot and not be stuck dragging around that dead weight. Finn isn’t mentioned in relation to Raven despite his importance to her story and of the fact this specific death shook the whole show. Wells’ has been removed from memory despite Clarke being the protagonist who we should know most intimately. I feel most detached from her, honestly. We’ve had a fair amount of Lincoln, though, and a consistantly aggressive reaffirmal of Lexa’s existence. But Jasper just isn’t here. He isn’t talked about. Jasper suffered, and Monty was right there in front of him trying to hand him that peaceful life he always dreamed of, ready to lift him (literally) out of that pain, and he died. Harper got to change her mind last minute, so did Raven, but not Jasper, no, his body went up in flames with the rest of it. The way they filmed the scene was gut-wrenching because of the hopelessness and coldness of it all. And i think he deserved to be spacekru, to heal somewhat up there, and oh what fun would he have been in season five. What would he be like now? What would he think of what became of everyone else? Of Clarke and of Octavia? Again, such wasted potential.

Jasper was one of The 100 on a show named after them, his death brought that to 4, and i can’t emphasise to you enough how big a mistake it was to craft a show around a certain group of people and then abandon that idea entirely. Your show is named something that it isn’t even about!!

Lexa deserved a more respectful death.

Bellamy deserved better than to be murdered brutally by the writers during season 6.

a ship i’ve never been able to get into

Bellarke. Braven. Murven. Clexa. Wicken/Ravick(?). Octabriel. Kabby

a ship i’ve never been able to get over

Becho. Memori. Jasper and Octavia were very sweet

a cute, low-key ship

Linctavia. It was always more of a background ‘ship’ for me. And Marper!

an unpopular ship but i still enjoyed it

Becho and Murphamy

a ship that was totally wrong and never should’ve happened

Flarke

my favourite storyline/moment

favourite storyline(s): delinquents finding a way to live on the ground and mount weather!

Favourite moment: i don’t think i have one TBH

my first thoughts on the show

It was exactly what i was looking for; a post-apoc teen drama, a little corny, a little gritty. I enjoyed season 1, and then 2, but with the constantly rising stakes to absolutely obscene levels eventually, my interest dwindled. By season 4 there was an almost desolate feeling and all the potential this had was dead and buried. They could’ve gone so many ways, done so much more, but for reasons unknown they chose possibly the weirdest and least interesting route available. I really thought they’d exhausted all their story by the end of 4 and i was, of course, absolutely correct since s5 was…more of the same…a literal recycled storyline that had been done not once but twice before it. In season 1 and then again in season 2. Since joining tumblr and fandom and seeing things from a various new angles, reading of social implications and meta on how sections of the writing are flawed, i’ve crafted a more informed and complex opinion than i had as a casual viewer and now see most aspects of the show in a completely different light.

my thoughts now

I’m over it. I think it could be safe to say i hate what it became. Most of my opinions of it now are negative, or at the very least have a critical component to them. I haven’t genuienly enjoyed it since season four and it hasn’t been actually decent since season two. It has a lot of deeper issues engrained into it’s writing, and there was a before when you could criticise those choices and obvious flaws and still be able to enjoy the show as it’s own entity because it existed as one at that time. But now it feels like an empty shell void of all life. With how broken and goofy the writing has become i just can’t take it seriously anymore. Characterisation and consistency have been thrown out in favour of serving the plot many many times before, but season 6 brought this to a whole new low. Dialogue was clumsy and there was a LOT of information dumping, it focused much too heavily on new characters nobody cared about, things were swinging from one extreme to another in terms of character arcs (see: Octavia’s full redemption and transformation basically overnight, and Bellamy switching from set to commit genocide in Clarke’s honour and ‘[we let these people die because] it’s not my fault their delusional’ to ‘let’s do better for Monty i am suddenly King of morality’) and in relationships (see: Bellamy instantly forgiving Clarke and then abandoning everyone and everything to save her, meanwhile he’s demonising Octavia like he’s getting paid for it). The characters just aren’t people anymore, they’re wheels that move the plot forward (in any way that’s required regardless of whether or not it’s actually in line with canon), and let’s not even talk about the science that pushes the envelope too far and Clarke’s insane plot armour. I’ve beaten this rant to death at this point so I won’t get any more into it. But just know: what was once a genuine fondness of this show has turned poisonous since.

[kinetic-elaboration]

The 100 Ask Game

Tagged by @thelittlefanpire --thank you! This looks like fun.

Soooo okay, first, full disclosure: I haven’t watched S5. I stopped watching toward the end of S4 for Reasons. So there might be a little bit of salt and/or confusion in some of my answers. But only a little; this blog is still a positive space and it is, of course, Show Night: a big fandom night regardless of my personal participation.

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from?

Hmm. Well I have farmers and factory workers in my family but I don't know which end of a wrench is up myself. I guess I'd probably be from one of the stations we know nothing about like Hydro or Tesla. It would be cool to be from Mecha but I'm not a mechanical person in the slightest lol.

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

Probably theft. I'm not a thief in real life but I do like eating and comfort and I'm p. sure the only way to get anything above subsistence-level rations on the Ark is to do some law-breaking.

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

I'm too much of a rule-follower to do it on my own but I would definitely be a sucker for Bellamy's "take off your wrist band as payment for some delicious puma meat" plan. To heck with this silly piece of metal, I want to eat.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

Some sort of large cat. Or small cat, not picky.

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

If Wells counts as a minor character, then Wells. Otherwise...perhaps M'Benge. He looked like a promising delinquent.

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, Jasper, and Monty. This is partly practical--I do think they're the smartest/most capable members of the group--but also partly about the Narrative. They're my favorites.

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to you?

I guess Trikru based on where I live? Or again, some clan we know nothing about. I don't know anything about Trikru's non-warriors so perhaps I could be one of them.

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

Skipping this one because I don't give my real name or any variants online, sorry.

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

Okay. My general thought on Finn is that he had an appropriately sized role in the narrative--which is more than I can say about a lot of other characters, many of whom, imo, were either killed too early, or too late/not at all when they should have been, or who take up way too much screen time, or are given way too little for their worth. But Finn contributed decently well to the first season--sometimes oddly, in that, once he outlived his usefulness as a love interest, he was shoe-horned into a Peacemaker role that probably should have been Wells's. But at least he was contributing a needed and consistent POV. And while I go back and forth a bit on how realistic I find his season 2 breakdown... I think it is more realistic than not, at least narratively. He seems like the sort who would have a breakdown after a battle, and the short timespan of 2A makes it more likely, not less, to me, that he would spiral quickly into something so atrocious: no time to cool down, to get perspective, to heal. Also, he had a completely unique story, which is also pretty rare on a show that likes to reuse its plot points. (Sorry! It does though.) I can also honestly say that Finn's death and funeral still ranks as one of the most resonant and heartbreaking moments of the series, for me. I have a hard time with any sort of capital punishment story line usually but I really felt for this one and I think it was very well done.

So basically what I'm saying is that I think Finn was decently well used as a character--like B+ narrative role, docked for the random interest in peace and the occasionally annoying nature of his personality. Because he could be annoying. He and Clarke didn't have much chemistry and he and Raven had surprisingly little, too, given how important they allegedly were to each other. And one of the good aspects of his death was that, not only was the event itself well-constructed and moving, but he wasn't exactly missed, by me or by the story, after he was gone. He served his purpose. I'm glad he wasn't on the show longer. (Except for that post speculating on a Finn/Murphy redemption arc/love story, which I would have watched and cheered on for sure.)

I don't hate him, though, and it does annoy me a little that he almost always shows up in fic as the 2d villain, the shitty ex/boyfriend, the annoyance. I mean, I get the appeal of having a readily available character like that (ngl I've used him that way at least once myself) but like.... it's not my fave trope, let's put it that way.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

I've thought about this some, not so much as it pertains to me, but in comparison to some other Failed Utopia plots in other fiction, and because my sleeping beauty au involves Clarke taking the chip, and it was very hard for me to bring her to a place where I felt like she could realistically, and in an in-character way, make that choice. But it's also been a while since I watched S3 and it's difficult for me to remember at what point different aspects of the CoL became obvious to the characters. Certainly, I can see the appeal. I think anyone can. It's an interesting concept and one I actually wished had gotten more time in the show... I think anything that obviously perfect (live forever in a wonderful city, away from pain and death and hardship!) should immediately cause warning bells: what's the catch here? Taking the chip without knowing the answer to that question is an assumption of the risk sort of situation, except you can't predict what the risk is, and the stakes are enormously high. Not exactly smart, and I like to think I am smart. I also have a great fear of AI and VR, which would make me wary.

On the other hand, I'd do poorly in the impoverished landscape of the post-apocalypse, which might make the chip more tempting. Also, if ALIE and friends tortured me or someone I loved, I would take the chip like that. No question, I am weak.

11. What character do you relate to most?

I relate to the intensity of Jasper's feelings, and to Monty's method of shutting down emotionally as a survival mechanism.

Generally I wouldn't say I have much in common with any of the characters, though, and I don't really watch because I 'relate' to anyone, personally.

12. What character do you like the least?

My first instinct is to say I dislike a lot of the characters, which is true but... I also spend almost no time thinking about the ones I dislike. My fandom experience at this point is very much about retreating into the aspects of the show/canon/fanon I like, and ignoring everything else. That said... probably M/di and J/rdan because the whole concept of a Next Generation down from the delinquents offends me, and also because they're both so universally loved that it's quite hard to avoid them. Also b/c J's name corresponding to that of my fave character makes blacklisting really obnoxious lol.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

Mmm, something comfortable. A nice jacket, like Clarke or Bellamy's S1 jackets, or Jasper's pilot jacket. Nothing with weird patches like Murphy's S1 or Jasper's S3 jackets. A shirt with something interesting written on it like Jasper's Earth Day shirt. Big boots. A nice heirloom necklace. Multiple layers. Knitted wristlets like Clarke has in early S1. A sweater with thumb holes like Monty has in S4.

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

All the mutants! I really feel like the show missed some good opportunities in the irradiated-animal department. Take some $$$ from the explosion budget, or the Boring Side Character payroll, and invest in some more two-headed beasts. But if I had to pick one, I'd say Lincoln's two-faced horse, because the image of him saving Clarke and Finn in late S1 is so underrated but so iconic.

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

I don't think I have many useful Ark skills. Archivist, perhaps? Member of their proto-justice system? Probably that, though I don't know what sort of jobs, specifically, make up that unit. Though I have some ideas; see: a fic I haven't yet actually written.

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

Gross. But probably if I had to, I'd force myself to.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

I gotta tell you, I literally do not care, nor have I have ever cared, about the commander or Grounder leadership in the slightest. They all seem pretty incompetent. They should cede their power to the Sky People, who are marginally less terrible at running things.

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

You'd never know from my obsession with alternate states but I have never been high, nor intoxicated in any way, so I really can't say. Hopefully calm and happy like M'Benge in the broom closet. But probably miserable and confused and afraid of my inability to corral my thoughts.

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

Interesting question. I actually think the Charlotte story line was one of the best of S1, probably the show as a whole, and I kind of wish it had played out more long term, instead of just being, in retrospect, more of an excuse for some drama. I mean that is one of the central dilemmas of a new society, as the dropship camp was starting to be at that time: what do you do with people who break the rules and/or are dangerous? They had roughly three options: execute the wrongdoer (which eliminates the problem pretty efficiently, if brutally); ignore the issue entirely through immediate forgiveness; or apply some punishment in between, like imprisonment. This situation in particular was more complicated because, first, technically, they had 'no rules' at the time (killing is just, uh, obviously wrong), second, the actual perpetrator was a child, and third, she was so obviously unstable as to seem a likely continued threat. And in addition to all THAT, Bellamy and Clarke were such tenuous leaders (Clarke wasn't really a leader at all, so really I should say Bellamy was a tenuous leader) that any option that didn't go along with the will of the majority could cause a complete break in legitimacy. So it's really a delicate scenario. One I can't say I have an answer to.

I will say I think banishment is literally the worst thing they could have done, for either Murphy or Charlotte, if she had lived, and I think the narrative bears this out. It looks like a good compromise but it's cruel and it's dangerous. Cruel because they have to assume the banished person would die in the wilderness, and if you believe he deserves death, shouldn't you just execute him? Have the courage of your convictions? Take on the full moral weight of your decisions? A hanging death is probably less awful than slow starvation or being eaten by a wild animal. And dangerous because if he doesn't die, he's an obvious target for...who's that? Your enemies in the woods? Which is exactly what happened? They brought that whole bio-weapon story line on themselves, tbh. I think it was an in-character decision for a couple of dumbass kids, but that's not the same thing as saying it was smart.

I like to think I would have sided with Bellamy early on, in being careful about what information goes out to the camp as a whole. I mean, it's not perhaps the most moral decision, but it's practical--and certainly inciting a riot, as Clarke ended up doing, is neither practical nor moral, so there's that. If the actual perpetrator had been found before Murphy was caught up in the mess... I guess some sort of middle-ground punishment is the best you can do. Imprisonment, shitty work shifts. Showing consequences for bad actions and trying to keep the group safe. Hopefully if there was enough tact in the beginning of the process, the crowd could be convinced to go along with it. I don't know, though. It's tough.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

Bellamy.

Bellamy, Bellamy, Bellamy.

Honestly, watch the first season, or even, arguably, the first three, and tell me that ultimately becoming Chancellor wouldn't be a neat, logical, and emotionally satisfying conclusion for Bellamy's arc.

Obviously, it would take him some time to get there. Before then... I don't know. If I had to pick among one of the former Chancellors, I'd go with Abby I suppose.

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

Oh gosh they're all terrible lol. I guess I'd pick Kane as the least of the three evils. He certainly was in the right once Pike's anti-Grounder agenda went into play, but I don't exactly think he had the ear of the people prior to the election, which is why I'm not enthusiastic. But, still. You gotta get through the Dark Times to get to Chancellor Bellamy, I guess.

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

I'd grab up some interesting books. Possibly a stuffed animal because I like soft things. A nice piece of art.

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

Lol I don't care what universe we're in, I'm never getting a tattoo. Hair: probably something simple and loose. War paint: pass, as I wouldn't be a warrior.

24. Favorite quote?

I suppose Jasper's quote about wounds needing to heal before they become scars.

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

I've never read or watched the Hunger Games but I'm nevertheless going to say Raven. She's just been the deus ex machina too many times.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

Least favorite: M/rper

Favorite canon: ummmmm idk not excited by most canon ships tbh. Probably Jasper/Maya, maybe Mackson or Briller.

Favorite non-canon: Jonty

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF DURAN DURAN

Lol, Idk. Something poppy and 80s would amuse me, though. In part because the show needs to take itself at least 75% less seriously.

I don't have any opinions on cameos.

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

Hopefully make friends with Murphy.

29. You're an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

Something painless and quick?? I don't know. Poison?? Nice dramatic non-bloody death?

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

JASPER. OBVIOUSLY.

...Lol I think this question is really about plausible character flashbacks and if so.... well first off ANY flashback about the Ark is 100% my thing, and flashbacks about almost any delinquent would be great. We're still not in the realm of the plausible, though, imo.

Raven, perhaps? Always want more Raven.

31. A character you’d bang?

Raven. Even though she'd intimidate me a lot.

Monty (as an adult, ofc).

A lot of the characters are bangable tbh. Might be faster to name those I wouldn't...

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

Uhhhh none of the above??

I suppose the bunker. (This answer is based on the concepts of bunker/space/alone on Earth, not what actually happened in S5.)

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

Read a lot and make friends. Idk if I'd follow Octavia since I just don't have enough data on the season... but from my understanding of her recent arc, probably not.

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

???

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

I wouldn't last a year in space with such a small group of people but hopefully Raven and I would hook up before I spontaneously expired.

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

Definitely less than a year.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

Eligius ship? I don't know her.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

???

39. Would you Spacewalk?

No. But actually. Probably yes. I'd totally freak out about the idea, swear a million times I'd never do it, then get cajoled into trying by my beautiful girlfriend Raven, and I'd love it so much I'd immediately want to do it again.

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

Algae?

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

There's no way I'd make it this far in the narrative in real life. I didn't even get there in fictional life.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

I guess the thumb drive thing sounds less disgusting.

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

I don't have any siblings (well, no siblings with whom I have a real sibling relationship) so, yeah, sure, why not lol?

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like M/rper?

Leave my body behind on Earth, please, where it belongs.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

New planet? I dunno what that means lol.

[spaceorphan18]

Season 2 Wrap Up Thoughts (Part 3)

Okay - hopefully I can be more concise with the rest of it... 

Sam Evans - The Introduction of White Chocolate

The funny thing about Sam is the fact that I don’t think the show knew quite what they wanted to do with him.  At first -- he’s a foil for Finn, and obsessed with status - the only time (if I’m remembering correctly) that he really cares about that.  He dates Quinn - which is more about Quinn.  And it isn’t really until the second half of the season that we get a Sam, who feels more like Sam.  I will say - it’s nice to know that his kindheartedness, though, is there right from the start (in the way he treats Kurt - but in the way he’s inclusive of everyone), which makes him a fresher character.  And through his struggles with being poor, and his interest with Mercedes, while not huge plot points in this season, add some nice complexities to his character.  There seem to be very few ‘good’ characters on the show - but Sam is one of them. 

Puck and Lauren - <Insert Witty Tittle>

There wasn’t a whole lot of Puck in season 2 - which is completely fine.  I think his character served the purpose he needed to in season 1 and I’m not sure there was much more to do with him other than graduate him off, which is why we’ll get an overabundance of Puck in season 3.  The best part is hooking him up with Lauren.  I am a little sad, though, that the writers couldn’t push it all the way though.  While I appreciate Lauren having control over the relationship - it would have been nice to see an obese woman be in a sexual relationship with a conventionally attractive man.  They always toyed with it - but never let it be consummated, which I find sad. 

As for Lauren herself, I’m always back and forth on.  On the plus side, I’m glad we have a larger woman who knows her own strength, and is not afraid to be the person she is.  On the other hand, they couldn’t get out from under the overweight character tropes, such as lame jokes about food.  By the time the season was ending, Lauren was really coming into her own, so I do find it a shame that there wasn’t another season to really develop her -- and her final appearance in season 4 just didn’t do the character justice, even if she was at least given some sort of wrap up. 

Santana, Brittany, and Artie - Lots of Shades of Grey

Hm...where to start.  Let’s start with Santana.  I’m always so back and forth on Santana, because she’s a mean character for the sake of being mean, and I don’t like it.  Like Quinn, there’s this whole deconstructing mean girls thing Ryan Murphy seems to enjoy, and I don’t really give a fig about that stuff.  During the first half of the season - Santana is a bitch because, well, she can be.  

And then they go forward with Santana being a lesbian, and I can get behind this.  I hate to say it added depth to the character, because I feel like that’s diminishing being a lesbian to a novelty (which I’m not trying to do), but Santana became a better character when they add more layers to her.  Stuff with Brittany aside (I’ll get to that in a sec) I do think Santana’s struggling with acknowledging that she’s a lesbian is one of the better arcs in season 2.  And I like that it gives Santana some vulnerability that we otherwise don’t get to see.  

The stuff with Brittany, though, I’m uneasy about.  I don’t doubt that Brittany loves Santana (Brittany, uniquely, loves everyone), but I really do not like the lengths Santana goes to manipulate her and her relationship with Artie.  It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  And while I’m all about the inclusion of f/f romance - I wish they just let them deal with being in love with each other on their own without the added love triangle bonus. 

Brittany, meanwhile, I mostly like in the season.  However, my two issues here are a) Heather Morris is a weaker actor - and while she has some fantastic lines to say, I don’t always feel it from her, and b) like @ckerouac pointed out on the podcast - they have an issue of creating an infantilized Brittany -- reducing her to a childlike state, often times within her romance with Artie, which feels icky, especially when they sexualize her at the same time.  Brittany is an interesting character study - because I do enjoy how much she seems to be open about sexuality and love and seems to genuinely care about everyone! But let’s stop making her like a child, too, show.  

And then there’s Artie - I do feel a sliver bad for him - in that being in a wheel chair makes him feel inferior.  But I really feel like he’s using Brittany to make himself feel better about himself, which doesn’t feel fair at all to Brittany (and in this respect, I prefer Brittany and Santana - cause I think Santana thinks of Brittany as an equal and not as someone who will help her status).  On top of that - Brittany and Artie spend most of the season in happy-ish couple land, which means to the background you go.  Artie, especially, seemed to disappear unless it was semi-troubles with Brittany.  

As an aside - show, why can’t you let Brittany straight up identify as bisexual? Ug, c’mon... 

Mercedes - Always Second Place

If there’s someone who got the short end of the stick this season, it’s Mercedes.  Seriously.  She didn’t really have an arc, and the two(-ish) times she got something to do she was dumbed down or made out to be a bitch.  It’s like the writers had no idea what to do with Mercedes other than make her sing, so they mostly just ignored her the entire season, which is really sad.  The one bright spot is her burgeoning love story with Sam late in the series - which is unfortunately cut short and dropped until mid-season 3.  Sorry, girl - you deserve better! 

Mike and Tina - Happy Couples Don’t Get Screen Time

Mike and Tina spent a lot of time in the background making out.  Seriously - I think they made out more than any other couple on the show, tbh.  However, they had zero plot lines.  Maybe some c-plots here and there.  But they were the happy couple, and c’mon, we should know by now how this show feels about happy couples.  I get that in an ensemble cast this big, you can’t focus on everyone equally, and season 2 tried it’s best - but there seemed to be zero interest in developing either of these characters.  So they made out in the background.  Which, to me, isn’t interesting.  **Shrugs**

Kurt, Blaine, Klaine - and the best damn story of the season 

Alright, so I’ve had an entire meta series and podcast dedicated to gushing about how much I love this, so I’m going to keep this short.  I realize I’m biased, but, by far, the best part of season 2.  And I will go as far as saying, had this arc not been a part of season 2, I don’t think I’d have continued watching.  (In fact, when Kurt left during Furt - I thought they were writing him off the show, and I didn’t want to watch any further.)  

And let’s be honest -- a question to you other Klainers out there -- take out Kurt and Blaine from season 2.  Is it still the best? Do you still think of this as the perfect season of Glee?  I really am curious about this...  

But anyway - the thing that I truly love about this particular arc is how masterfully it’s woven throughout the season.  We start with Kurt -- still dealing with stuff from his season 1 arc, at his lowest of lows, and adding on the bullying stuff as well.  And gradually, throughout the season, he picks himself back up, finds love, finds confidence, and finds a way to say ‘fuck you world - i’m gonna be me’.  And it truly is a gorgeous arc to watch.  (Which, as an aside, I don’t understand just following the Klaine arc of the season, cause Kurt’s arc is so multifaceted)  

Klaine (and Blaine) is this extra bonus.  The Warblers are comedic gold, and entertaining in their own right.  Dalton is this delightful little side world.  But more so - Klaine gets to a gay fairy tale romance.  And it’s such a beautiful thing on it’s own.  And obviously, all the love...  

As for Blaine -- isn’t as developed as a full character yet, but of course, we’ll get to see him do that in the upcoming seasons.  For now - he works as what he is - Kurt’s romantic interest.  On a random, shallow note - I kind of like this Blaine look out of all the others.  Sorry. :P 

Anyway - yes, just a lot of positive gushing for Kurt and Blaine - but I’m sure you knew that already. 

Some Final Thoughts

I’ve often gone back and forth on where I place season 2 in my own personal rankings of the seasons.  Is it the best season? -- Personally, no, it’s not -- but I can understand why it means so much to so many people.  The first season, I still think, had the best writing - and was probably the funniest, but season 2 did something wise and focused in on what people wanted the most - the younger characters and their relationship dynamic.  And when you add that to the the fandom experience -- this kind of golden age where everyone was more or less getting along, it seemed like this perfect time.  So, I get that season 2 gets renowned the way it was.  

But, for me, when you take away the stuff with Kurt and Blaine, there isn’t a whole lot of things for me to like.  I do think there was some good stuff with Santana in the second half.  I do think there were some overall strong ensemble stories.  But most of it -- I find myself not really caring about.  And I think, overall, season 2′s lows are lower than season 1s.  There are some really bad episodes and plot lines in this episode that I think are forgotten because the highs are so highs.  Season 5 might be a bit messier in its story telling, but I think as a giant whole - I prefer that one better.  However - I will say that Kurt’s story arc in season 2 might be my favorite story arc in the entire show.  

And I suppose that is how SO sees it ;) 

[wrestlinghasmelike-blog]

Monday Night Raw Review: June 25th, 2018

Hey gang, it’s Monday again. I hope everyone had a great day/weekend. Today I got up really early and took my dog out and then watched the season 2 finale of Westworld (which got me FUUUCKED up, but that’s another story lol). 

Based on what my twitter timeline told me about tonight, it might be an interesting show? I’m feeling a little uninspired tonight about the show, personally, but hopefully, the show will prove me wrong.

Let me know what you thought of the show! Was it terrible, or did you like it this week? What was your favorite match? I’d love to hear from you, about anything! Thanks for tuning in and reading and sharing. I’m super close to 100 followers (like 5 away I think!) 

Sweaty Kurt Angle and Baron Corbin opened up the show tonight, only to be interrupted by Roman Reigns and Bobby Lashley, who have sort of an interesting feud brewing. They both believe that they have the tools to beat Lesnar, but apparently, there won’t be a match at Extreme Rules anymore to determine Brock’s new competitor because of his “contract”.

Basically what this means is that Brock didn’t want to wrestle and give his title up, so he called Vince and Vince said ok. Ugh.

I think this is the main reason Raw, and WWE for that matter, has been faltering for the past couple months. There’s no Universal title on the show, which means that no stories can be written around it, and new feuds can’t be built. It sucks, and it’s really starting to affect my watching, as well.

The Revival vs. Lashley/Reigns

This is a rematch from last week. Why do we need to see this again?

The Revival need to prove that they are still relevant, and it’s unfortunate that separate injuries have kept them at bay, and they haven’t really been given a chance to be on TV since their return. This was never a team I saw much of, their NXT days were during the time where I wasn’t watching, but from what I can tell about them today, they hit their peak back in NXT.

This match is just a chance for Bobby and Roman to show off their egos, which Bobby needs, at least. Bobby’s feud with Sami ended at MITB 2 weeks ago, and pushing him into a match with Roman, or Brock, could give Bobby the spotlight he needs. He’s a big guy, always has been, and he needs to be showcased as one.

This match had no momentum going into it, and while the crowd loves to boo Roman whenever they can, they are dead silent otherwise. It’s gone on too long, and either team needs to bring something different to get the show rolling. 

The Revival won with a roll-up on Roman? A little unbelievable? Roman losing on a small package is just hard to fathom, especially against a small guy like Dash Wilder, but at least the match is over. Next, please.

Curtis Axel vs. Woken!Matt Hardy

Ok, wait, why is this a great storyline now? Oh yea, because it’s actually interesting and funny and the superstars are selling it really well. 

But this match is over in a heartbeat before I can say anything else. 

Matt has been putting in time at the gym. He looks great right now. That’s it.

AoP vs. Local Talent

This is not a match AoP needs. Put them in contention for the title, not this.

We haven’t seen this team since their debut after Mania and I’m really wondering why! They were so dominating in NXT, and they’ve fallen short on Raw. I’m trying to remember if one of them was injured in their time off, but I can’t find anything that says so. 

Titus Worldwide came out, too. Does anyone care?

FINN MAKING FUN OF BARON OOOH

...but I’m not a fan of that tag match. I know Finn is just going to lose again anyway, right? 

Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya

In a super long segment before this match took place, Alexa and her friend Mickie James went off about Alexa not getting respect and thanking god for Ronda’s suspension. There was a long video package during this promo that took me out of the program, and it was basically just Alexa and Mickie picking on the crowd. Whatever.

Natalya came out with Nia and the match started.

A lot of weird moves and botches from Alexa. She did that standing double monkey flip over Nattie, and her knees are supposed to hit Nattie in the belly, but Alexa’s knees were nowhere near her belly at all!

Natalya was really putting on a clinic, debuting all of her best moves and ultimately, getting herself a win over the undeserved champ. 

Put Nattie back in the title race. 

6-Woman Tag- Riott Squad vs. Banks/Moon/Bayley

Ooh boy, are we actually getting the feud people have been asking for?

Last week, things between Bayley and Sasha finally exploded the way everyone had been hoping for, and this week, Kurt Angle says they have one more chance to get on the same page. 

Sasha does the Meteora too much. That’s my first thought.

Ember Moon is fantastic in the ring. God I love her so much. 

Personally, I’m tired of seeing the Riott Squad. All three women need to wrestle in singles matches more. The singles matches that they do always end with the other members of the team charging in and either distract the ref or attack the other woman in the match. It’s so played out, it’s tiring! It’s a trope that’s been played out too much.

Banks took the loss for her team, and Bayley straight up attacked her and threw her around the ring. The crowd loves it! Personally, I do, too! I feel like Bayley is always too much, but a heel Bayley is just what her character needs to find her way back to the top of the division. I think this has been a long time coming from Bayley. She had to endure years of being the weakest of the four horsewomen and being second best, and now she’s ready to show what she’s got!

The ONLY thing that ruined that moment was when her music played her out. It’s too preppy and happy for her recent actions.

No Way Jose vs. Mojo Rawley

I don’t care. I just don’t. And WWE is not doing a good job of getting me to care.

Strowman/Owens vs. Balor/Corbin

Well, after losing last week, Braun was tired of teaming with Finn and has decided to team with Kevin Owens tonight. 

As I’ve probably mentioned a lot over the past few weeks, I love Kevin Owens right now. His unofficial feud with Braun is hilarious, and Kevin sells it so well.

And in typical fashion, I am in tears while Finn makes his entrance. Maybe I should make a post about him soon. It’d probably be long as hell.

FINN ALSO LOOKS SO TAN?!?

I am also really loving Corbin’s new look. His hair needed to go so badly, and the suits that he wears are really doing better things for his character. I don’t love the fact that he’s basically corporate Kane, but it’s fine for now. 

Kevin tagging in Braun was so good. He just smacked him in the chest and ran. It was such a cartoon moment and I loved it.

Finn is finally being allowed in this match after Baron decides that he’s had enough. Kevin steals the momentum away from Finn and keeps him in a fierce chin lock. 

Braun just literally squished Finn in a corner and Finn just melted out of the ring. My god.

This match kind of exploded as Finn and Corbin couldn’t get along. They ended up fighting all the way up the ramp and got disqualified. I mean, at least Finn didn’t take the pin. I just wish they’d let him win a match for once.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler for the IC Title

After suffering a hard loss last week to Ziggler after a distraction from Drew McIntyre, Seth Rollins is looking to win back his title from Dolph.

I personally love this new angle. Dolph has been out of it for a while now, and the IC title scene is a great place for him to stay. Remember that feud he had with Miz about a year and a half ago? That was the greatest thing ever for Ziggler and Miz. 

This current storyline is rumored to lead to a huge battle between Drew and Dolph, which is set to skyrocket Drew to a top position. It’s mostly because Vince loves Drew, but it’s also because Drew is a massive star now, and he belongs at the top. I’d love to see a program with him and Kevin, or him and Braun, or Roman, or even Finn. 

Rollins seems to be controlling most of the match so far, but how long will it take for Dolph to fight back?

Not long it seems as Seth focuses on Drew for too long, allowing Dolph to get up tackle Seth. This is where Dolph’s collegiate-style will come into play as he finds a way to tucker out Seth Rollins.

This is exactly the kind of pace Ziggler likes. He keeps his opponents on the ground and wears them out with a headlock or a chinlock.

MICHAEL COLE JUST SAID THAT ROLLINS AND FINN ARE THE TWO OF THE BEST IN SHAPE WRESTLERS ON THE ROSTER WHO CAN HOLD A MATCH AND WHO HAVE BEEN PUTTING IN THE MOST WORK THANKS COLE YOU DID GOOD

Anytime Seth looks like he’s favoring a leg, I get super nervous. An injured Seth would not be good for business right now. I know he’s probably just selling it, but stilllll you guyssss

Rollins just reversed a whip on Dolph and he launched him into the turnbuckle, blasting Dolph into the corner. For a moment, it looked like Seth finally found his footing, but Dolph sent him over the top rope and crashing to the floor, hurting Seth’s wrist on the impact.

The match gets more aggressive as it continues, and the crowd is doing their signature “this is awesome” chant, which is something that Dolph hasn’t heard about his matches in probably a long ass time. 

Seth was about to win the match, an incredible match by thE WAY, and Drew came back and pulled the ref out to stop the count. Dolph will retain because of the DQ. Dammmnnnnn

...Roman made his way down to stop the attack on Seth. Are we getting Drew and Roman?? I’m here for it. It better not be a tag match next week, though.

I feel like the last half of the show went by really fast. I guess I’m kind of thankful for that, considering there were a lot of filler moments and matches during the show. I was fine with Raw tonight, no strong feelings either way. I don’t know if I had a favorite match honestly. Did you? Let me know!

Tune in for more!

Casey

[yellowmechanicalcat]

Voltron Survey Meme

tagged by @sp4c3-0ddity - thanks!

How did you discover the show?

I'd noticed references floating around (like, a ton of ‘hasta la later Keith!’ quotes and fanart) but Jin and Miguel’s cosplay of Shiro and Keith is what made me actually look it up. (I’ve been following their cosplays for a long time so seeing how excited Jin was about Voltron made me add it to my watch list).

Was it love at first sight or did it take you a while to get into the show?

So the first episode threw me off at first because I couldn’t not hear Finn every time Lance opened his mouth, but about 20 minutes in I was hooked. I've said this before but that first episode is A+ content 💯

I started watching when Season 2 first came out so it helped that there was a lot to binge all at once. plus it was great timing because I’d just caught up on Doctor Who and needed something to watch til Series 10 dropped

Do you have a favorite Paladin?

Pidge and Hunk are my favourites! But admittedly I like Pidge a little bit more.

Do you have a favorite Lion? (If it’s different from your fav paladin, why?)

okay so I picked this username because I wanted to work in a VLD quote but I do actually really like the Yellow Lion! I'm not very good at strategy in games so I tend to just attack everything at full strength and ramp up defenses and that is exactly what the Yellow Lion is good at and that's VERY COOL

Do you have a favorite Villain?

Hmm... I do like Lotor's generals, especially Ezor. I'm also really intrigued by the druids.

Do you have a favorite Alien Race? (recurring and/or minor)

Space mermaids!! They had such great designs and apparently used to be in contact with other planets?? So they should be able to handle space which means they should come back.

Favorite side / other character(s)- Rebels, General, Blade of Marmora, Garrison, etc?

Honestly I really enjoy Slav! and idk if Coran is considered main or side but he's another fave.

How/Why did you join the fandom?

Looking up fanfic/art made me want to make my own because the characterizations I was seeing didn't really match the show?? It was kind of strange to see how pervasive fanon was. (I write really slowly though so most of my stories are still...... not done.) Then I realized just how huge the fandom was/how many different opinions were out there and that made things a little more interesting.

Anyway I ended up focusing on the Plance side of the fandom after reading some of amillionsmiles‘ fics. (I was really happy to find out I wasn't the only one who’d thought Pidge had kind of an obvious crush, haha.)

Care to share a favorite headcanon?

Keith's dad's name might as well be Tex. He’s been going by the nickname since his Garrison days, and it’s been so long that no one even remembers his real name anymore.

What do you think is the best part of the show?

The main cast of characters (backed up by stellar animation and incredibly talented voice actors). They're a great team, they've all got clear strengths and weaknesses and no one's reduced to being a stereotype. Half the criticism of the show is how the writing treats the established characters rather than how the plot is unfolding/revealing more information, and I think that goes to show how fleshed out they all were right from the beginning. I can’t think of many other shows that accomplished that within the first couple episodes.

(I also appreciate all the tributes to other movies/series and how the show plays around with so many different tropes and that alternate realities are literally canon and-)

Any hopes and wishes for future episodes / seasons?

so many

1. For Keith to be friends with the rest of the team and not just Shiro! He's been gone for such a long time let him hang out and have fun with them!! ;___;

2. Let Hunk and Shay interact!!

3. This is petty but I'd like to see Pidge look more like Katie again? She's there to be a non-typical female character, fine, but she can be a tomboy and more feminine so why more let her be both? Let her be both!

4. More alternate realities!!!

5. also I’d kind of like if no ship was actually endgame because it’s nice to have so many options

Do you think you’ll stick it out until the end of the show?

Yeahhhhh, no matter how much critical meta I may post or reblog, I'm in way too deep now.

Tag your friends or someone you want to get to know better:

I only just got the notification for this so I think most of y'all have already done it?? But if you haven't: tag!