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howtocuddlecrows · 1 year

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I think that I got into fantasy just at the right time. I think I was in 5th or 6th grade when I first got into it. It was basically after I saw a news segment on 퇴마록 and I wanted to read it but it was already like 12 or some books in and it was supposed to be for adults only so I couldn’t access it.

But then all the comic book rent places began to carry fantasy books too. And my first book was 가즈나이트

This was the beginning of I believe the 2nd generation of Korean fantasy. I mean technically it’s still considered 1st gen but it did start publishing after 퇴마록 and others got popular which were mostly written by older (40-50s) fiction writers who read like Ursula le Guin and Robert Jordan. This one particularly was written by a teenager when the first one was published, showing that younger audience and writers were craving for fictions beyond whatever we had to read in school. I mean most of fiction you could buy at a bookstore at the time was mostly translated literature like Wrath of Grape, Les Miserable or shit like that. So no wonder kids were into extravagant Dungeons & Dragons/Lord of the Rings world full of magic, swordfight, and dragons. Also I was getting tired of reading Dragon Ball and other shonen comics if I wanted something fantastical.

But yeah 가즈나이트 wasn’t the first D&D like fantasy setting book, aforementioned 퇴마록 being more of contemporary urban fantasy as in Neverwhere not “urban” like Black fiction but it was the first one I picked. I think the first really popular dragon and magic fantasy book was called 카르세아린 which was also written by a younger author about a young dragon named Kars-aerin disguising himself as a human and getting entangled in human political conflicts. There was 3rd gen fantasy book called 아린 이야기, which was basically fanfic/plagiarism of 카르세아린. I happened to read 아린 이야기 before reading 카르세아린 which was interesting (the original is way better btw).

Anyway back to 가즈나이트. It was basically a story about wandering swordman named 리오 스나이퍼 (Leo Sniper) who is unassuming but actually an expert fighter who saves people. Very much Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin. And I think at the end of first or second book it turns out he’s actually a swordman chosen by a god, called God’s Knight hence the title 가즈나이트, who defends humanity with his supernatural power granted by his god. And the story evolves much like Dragon Ball in a sense that 리오 goes around bumping into conflicts and he tries his best to help people. There is always a boss monster like villain he has to defeat to solve the conflict and the stakes get higher every time and his enemies get stronger too. So naturally he needs to continue to come up with new hidden talent to fight back stronger enemy, like Dragon Ball. A few books in, I think the author realized that he had to add more characters, like Dragon Ball Z, if 리오 were to defeat some of these villains as well as the author got better at writing in general so he actually started to do some world building. This is when he retconed this shit and started to add more gods’ knights. Like surprise there are more of them. And I think this was what kept me continuing to read the series. He first introduced 지크 스나이퍼 (Zeek Sniper) who is 리오’s real life brother. And this is also when he started doing Power Rangers color coding tham. I mean 리오’s thing was that he had long red hair (Kenshin much lol) and wore blue cape and used a long sword oh and his power was neutral (we were really into 무. It means nothingness or like a void. It could be anything or everything. if light is alpha 무 is omega cuz dark is sure as hell not omega). 지크 had short blonde hair, used a short knife he was the comic relief and rock n roll guy and his power was wind. Then there was 바이론 필브라이드 (Byron Philbride or Pfilbreit. Im sorry but we didnt understand that English sounding names all came from different countries actually). He was the big scary guy who was always angry and a god damned beast. Like being always shirtless kinda stuff but also you know a daddy. He had sickly white hair and purple skin (it got explained later) and used a falchion and his power was dark. Then there was 휀 라디언트 (Fhwen or Fin or Phen Radiant) who was also a daddy but he was the daddy. Total Tsundere man like the butler from Black Butler. I actually don’t remember what he looked like but I’m sure you can tell from the name his power was light/radiant. He showed up later in the series as the leader of the gods’ knights and sort of like the adjudicator of what the knights’ duties were and being just below the gods when it comes hierarchy of gods and gods knights. Then there were these two gays guys who always showed up together named 사바신 커텔 (Thabasin or Sabasin K’tell) and 레디 키드 (Ready Kid, i forgot this was his name…my smol bean gay boy got the shit end of the stick) who had power of earth and water respectively. 사바신 was the bear himbo of the group more himbo than 지크, much like Kronk from Emperor’s New Groove, and 레디 was the twink cute guy of the group. I was honestly super into 레디 cuz he only showed up like a few times and we don’t know much about him but he just seemed like a cool guy. All I remember is that he was drawn with short green hair and he was depicted as femboy just fun carefree guy who liked art or some shit.

(This post was not made to reveal how much I’m into twinks and femboys nor that it was so obvious I was not straight)

Then I think there’s one more guy but I honestly have no memory whatsoever of this dude so uhh whelp.

But yeah it was really fun increasing stakes power upping protagonist shonen fantasy and I really liked it when I read it. There was not that big of a fandom culture around it tho because i think it was obvious even then that it was written by a child. Like there was this another 2nd gen fantasy fiction, actually a supernatural urban fantasy fiction (vampires and werewolves) called 월야환담 채월야 and that one had dedicated fandom base like to the point when I went a comic con there were artists selling fanfics and fanarts of it which I bought a few of. I still own a fanart of one of the characters. I think it’s the werebear guy. … I just realized that I of course bought a fanart of literal “bear.” I mean his human form was just tall lanky long haired hot guy so whatever. It kinda started out as Hellsing but was more like Blade.

Anyway yeah I just like reminiscing about some of the 2nd and 3rd gen books and how much they formed my view of fantasy fiction. And also after 3rd gen there was a huge gap in fantasy/science/military/alt-history fiction genre because high speed internet became a thing and nobody went to forums anymore. So many of the fantasy fictions in Korea were written and published for free on forums going even back before world wide web days then The Internet became a thing and webtoons and social media (cyworld and stuff) took over much of people’s attentions. Then Boys over Flowers hit the jackpot and catapulted young adult books written and read by girls became the main alternate literature industry. Nobody wanted to publish fantasy books written by boys or even high fantasy by veteran authors (i mean this was objectively a good thing because we wouldn’t have had webtoons industry if we were being dragged by more fantasy shonen bs). this was also the timeline when kdramas really started to find audience not just in Korea but also in Japan. So emotional love stories was the zeitgeist and that was right around the time I moved to the US and I was able to jump right into a lot of existing English fantasy fictions like Robin Hobb, Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, Forgotten Realms, A Song of Ice and Fire, and such. Like I didn’t have to thirst for fantasy fictions and I was able to just continue reading fantasy fictions

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musehyacinthus · 3 years

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Shoot Your Shot: Part 1

This is my first published work in over a decade, and I'm so excited to share it with everyone! Dash is my oldest and most treasured oc, and I'm so happy that I finally have the confidence to allow everyone else a peek into her life. This was originally supposed to be a short one shot, but is now going to be a 2(?) part series. I will hopefully be posting more work in the future that explores more of her background, as well as introducing some of my other oc's.

It was June, and the air was warm and sticky, which wasn’t ideal; the humidity made Dash’s hair all frizzy, and it always seemed to happen on a day when she wanted to make meringue.

This morning in particular, her eyes snapped open, bolting upright in her bed with a gasp. She had been having the most amazing dream, in which she was about to take a bite of the biggest, most beautiful lemon meringue pie she had ever seen. However, just as the fork reached her mouth, she woke up, returning to the sad reality where she did not have a mouth watering dessert in front of her. She smacked her lips, trying to recall what the pie had tasted like, but it was already gone. Tragic.

It was then that it dawned on her that she had the ingredients to bring that beautiful pie to life in the kitchen. In an instant, she rushed to her bedroom window. Maybe, if she was lucky, the weather would be on her side today. She pried open the window, a warm, thick breeze blowing against her skin. She groaned. No good; meringue wouldn’t peak in the humidity. No matter how good at baking someone is, they’re no match for mother nature. Pursing her lips, she pulled the latch shut, deciding to settle for banana bread muffins instead.

A couple of hours later, the muffins were nestled in her bag as she hopped off the trolley that crossed the Brooklyn Bridge.

“Thanks!” Dash chirped to the driver, exchanging waves with the man before she bounced away, not noticing the large, gray clouds looming on the horizon.

She clicked her tongue rhythmically as she walked, matching the beat to her steps and scanning the docks for her friend, Twitchy. The purpose of her trip had been to return a book he lent her, but he was nowhere to be seen.

A group of four other teenagers had gathered nearby at the edge of the docks, crouching in a large circle on the ground. Curious, she inched forward, craning her neck to see what was going on.

As she approached, she could see they were surrounding a long piece of brown string that was tied in a circle, surrounding a cluster of marbles.

Her heart skipped a beat. She was fantastic at marbles! She always kept her own pouch on her in case of a marble emergency, which happened more often than one might think.

Now that she was closer, Dash knew the kids to be Newsies like herself from her other visits to the borough. Among the group was a short, round faced girl with glasses and hundreds of freckles who Dash remembered was named Abigail. Her curly, brown hair was pulled back into two braids, her eyebrows knit with frustration as she gazed down at the ring. There was also a pale, skinny boy with sandy, blond hair and brown eyes that Dash didn’t recognize, and a tall boy with broad shoulders and dark hair standing just behind Abigail and watching the game intently. The way he hovered over her, he seemed almost like a bodyguard. What was his name again? Something with a chuh sound…. Chuck? No. Chatter! That was it! She remembered now, she found it funny the first time she learned it because Chatter really didn’t say very much at all. He was a friendly enough guy, but he seemed to like observing and listening more than he liked talking. He and Abigail seemed to always be around one another when Dash saw them, their significant height difference almost comical. Finally, Dash’s eyes rested on the figure closest to her with their back turned. Their brown cap was pulled down low on their face as they knelt on the ground, but she could recognize those bright red suspenders anywhere. He was at an angle where she could just see that was holding a red shooter in his hand, weaving it through his fingertips thoughtfully.

Dash’s feelings toward Spot were… mixed; she could never stop herself from riling him up, and the two would often butt heads due to their wildly different personalities. Spot took himself so seriously, and for the life of her, she couldn’t understand why. It frustrated her that he tried to make himself seem so high and mighty, and she knew the kids in Brooklyn respected him, but as far as she could tell, he was just… some guy. The way he constantly tried to have the attention of those around him was so silly, and just made him come off as a bit of a show off.

She hadn’t seen him do anything particularly intimidating, but the Newsies back in Manhattan would often go on and on about how nervous he made them. She just failed to see any real reason for their apprehension. Then again, she really hadn’t been living in New York all that long; his reputation had been around for a good while. Maybe they all knew something she didn’t.

In any case, as far as she was concerned, he was just a kid who wanted attention. That was fine, of course, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to tease him. It was fun to challenge him, and she found herself getting extremely competitive in his presence. Of course he wasn’t going to back down from a challenge.

Dash would come to Brooklyn every once in a while to exchange books with Twitchy, who she knew was pretty close with Spot. He never seemed to show any signs of being intimidated either, and was an even bigger culprit than she was when it came to pushing Spot’s buttons. He would go to great lengths to make him look silly, like the time he filled Spot’s pockets with bread crumbs and got the neighborhood pigeons to follow him around all day. There was also a time when he dressed up in the same clothes as Spot, and had bribed the other Brooklyn kids with candy to pretend that he was the real Spot for an entire day.

Dash watched as the boy she hadn’t recognized leaned forward, closing one eye and taking a deep breath. He flicked his thumb, his yellow shooter zipping forward and smacking into another large, purple marble. Both marbles rolled over the string, coming to a rest on the other side. The boy whooped with delight, and Abigail let out a cry of astonishment.

“That was a cheap shot, Sonny!” Abigail crossed her arms in front of her chest, staring daggers at the boy. “You know I just got that marble yesterday!”

“It ain’t my fault I got good aim!” Sonny grinned, shrugging and walking over to claim the purple shooter for himself. “Sorry, toots.”

Dash thought Sonny didn’t look all that sorry.

Abigail huffed, sitting back and crossing her legs.

“Fine, whatever. Your turn, Spot.”

Spot, who had been silent the entire time, was already leaning down to shoot his own red marble. He extended his arm, appearing as still as a statue as he aimed the little glass ball toward the center.

At that moment, an idea popped into Dash’s brain. Slowly, without making a sound, she crept up behind him, biting her lip to keep herself from giggling and giving herself away. Finally, just as Spot started to release the shooter, Dash exclaimed “HI, SPOT!”

The boy let out a rather undignified yelp and his hand jerked, the marble rolling into the ring and bouncing gently on one of the mibs. It hardly budged, and Spot’s shooter halted beside it. The other three Brooklyn newsies broke out into laughter, and Spot’s shoulders tensed, turning his head slowly to glare up at Dash.

Dash just smiled, waving down at him.

“Didn’t you hear me? I said hi.”

Spot grunted and rose to his feet, his hazel eyes narrowing at Dash. Despite his intense stare, her expression remained unchanged.

“I heard ya, I heard ya.” He grumbled, glancing her up and down. “You messed me up, y’know.”

“Golly, did I do that?” she feigned surprise, her eyebrows raising. “Whoopsie daisies. Can I play?”

“We’re in the middle of a game.”

“Actually, it’s just endin’!” Sonny chimed in from behind him with a smile. Spot glanced back and shot Sonny a look, who quickly clammed up.

“Aw, that’s okay.” Dash shrugged, adjusting her bag on her shoulder. “It’s no big deal, Spot’s just afraid that I’ll beat him at his own game.” she looked back to Spot, and she swore she saw his eye twitch.

“No. I am not.” He replied firmly.

“Are too.”

“Am. Not.”

“Are tooooo.”

“NO, I am-” Spot’s voice had grown higher pitched in the heat of the moment, but he quickly paused, giving a sideways glance at his Newsies who were all staring at them. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat, his voice now sounding much lower than it had a moment ago.

“Fine.” He said cooly. “Fine, you wanna play? We’ll play. Clear the ring, Sonny.”

In a matter of moments, the ring was reset, thirteen mibs resting in the center in a cross. Dash fished her sack of marbles out from her bag, a little blue pouch that her father had fashioned for her out of some spare fabric. She had about a dozen shooters she had collected over the years, but there was a very special one she wanted to use for this occasion.

She rummaged around in the pouch for a moment before pulling up a shooter that was minty green and blue with little white swirls. Sonny whistled, leaning in to look at it.

“That’s real pretty.” He mused. Dash beamed, tossing it up in the air once and catching it.

“Thanks! It’s the first marble I ever won back when I was younger.”

Abigail raised an eyebrow. “You sure ya wanna use that thing, then? Seems pretty special to be usin’ in a game. Don’t wanna end up like me and have it taken from ya.” She glared pointedly at Sonny, who only grinned back at her innocently with large, doe like eyes.

Dash nodded. “Oh, yeah! This guy is my go-to shooter, he’s real lucky!” She held it up proudly, admiring the way the colorful swirls glistened in the light. “I’ve never lost a match with him!”

Spot was also staring at the marble, a ghost of a smirk tugging at his lips.

“Huh. Oh, well, it’s your funeral, girlie.” He stretched his arms over his head, shifting his gaze back to her. “You better say your goodbyes now, ‘cause that thing’s gonna be in my pocket real soon.”

Dash stuck out her tongue at him. She wasn’t nervous; her lucky shooter had never failed her before, and this game would be no different.

The two knelt on opposite ends of the circle, and the others sat off to the side as spectators. Spot motioned his hand toward her.

“Ladies first.”

Dash positioned herself in front of the ring with her shooter. Without any delay, she flung her marble forward, grinning at the satisfying clack it made as it smacked into one of the mibs, sending two of them rolling out of the ring. Dash whooped loudly, and Spot continued to watched in silence with a serious expression.

“Nice!” Abigail grinned.

Her shooter was still within the circle, which meant she was able to shoot her marble again from the inside the ring. She hummed, hopping to the other side and returning to her knees to the left of Spot. As she reached for her shooter, her shoulder briefly brushed against his. Spot jumped as if he had been shocked, scowling and moving a few inches to his right. Dash barely even noticed him, focused on finding the right angle to shoot her marble. She flicked it once more and the marble struck another mib, but it didn’t have as much force as the first hit. It rolled a few inches and stopped just before reaching the edge. Dash shrugged, flopping backward onto her behind. “Oh well. Your turn.”

Spot nodded, adjusting his cap. Dash saw him glance over at the other kids for a fleeting second, then returned his gaze to the marbles. He cracked his knuckles loudly, which Dash found rather unnecessary, and flexed his hands at his sides. He scooped up his red shooter, assuming the position. His eyebrows knit together and he bit his lip.

This was ridiculous; the longer she waited for him to make his move, the more restless she felt. She drummed her hands on her lap as she waited. After what felt like centuries, she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Can’t you go any faster?” She huffed.

“I’m focusin’.”

“Focus faster!” she urged.

Spot’s jaw clenched, still not looking at Dash. He exhaled, finally releasing his marble. It hit two mibs at once, sending them flying out of the circle in opposite directions. Sonny cheered loudly and Abigail nodded with approval while Chatter clapped politely beside her. The marble stopped right where it hit its mark, meaning it was still in play.

Spot grinned, clearly pleased with himself as he turned his attention back to Dash. She clapped, nodding slowly.

“That was great, yeah! Hey, at this rate, maybe we’ll have a winner by Thanksgiving!” she teased. Abigail let out a cough that Dash could have sworn was a laugh.

Spot’s grin snapped back to a scowl, squinting hard at her. Dash smiled back. Sometimes it was just too easy.

Spot closed his eyes briefly, regaining his composure. When he opened his eyes again, the look in his eyes had changed.

“Oh, I ain’t movin’ fast enough for ya?” he asked, stretching out his arms and making a big show of moving into shooting position once more. Slowly, he leaned forward, maintaining eye contact with her the entire time. “That’s no problem. I can go faster.”

He set his eyes on Dash’s lucky shooter, and before she could even process what was happening, he shot his red marble straight for it.

Dash’s eyes widened in horror, and she gasped as the shooter crashed into her minty blue sphere, causing it to roll right out of the ring.

Her heart sank, realizing what he had just done. She looked up at him in dismay and was met with a smug smile.

“Oh, would ya look at that? Seems like ya lucky marble ain’t so lucky no more.” He snickered. “Oopsie daisies.”

The other Brooklyn kids appeared stunned at what their leader had done, exchanging nervous glances with one another. Sure, he had joked about taking the marble, but it didn’t seem like they thought he would actually take it.

“Spot…” Abigail started, but Spot ignored her, plucking the shooter from the ground and rolling it across his palm as he stood.

“You were right, Abby. She shoulda listened to your advice, don’t’cha think?”

For a minute, Dash was speechless. Did that really just happen? Was he being serious right now?

Her shock quickly turned to rage. She rose and stormed up to him, lunging toward the marble.

“No! That’s not fair, you can’t-”

“What exactly ain’t fair here?” Spot interrupted, snatching it away and holding her prized shooter high in the air. “I ain’t no cheater, ask anyone here! I won this here marble fair and square!” He looked over at the others for confirmation, daring any of them to argue. “You all saw it, right? No rules broken, yeah?”

Reluctantly, the three nodded in agreement, which only fueled Dash’s anger. She grunted and jumped toward his raised hand in an attempt to grab it, but he stepped back, barking out a laugh.

“Better luck next time, short stuff!”

Dash grunted, jumping up and down as she tried snatch her marble. “Oh, that’s rich, coming from you! You’re barely three inches taller than me at most!”

“Still, it’s three inches you ain’t got!” he snickered. “I’m playin’ the game the way it’s s’posed to be played! When ya shoot your opponent’s marble outta the ring, you claim it! That’s the rule!”

They danced around one another, Dash hopping up toward his hand and Spot pulling away at the very last second. Dash could feel her cheeks burning. She grit her teeth and let out a loud groan. “Why are you being such a jerk?!” She exclaimed, taking another swing just as he jumped out of the way. “You only shot at my marble to be mean!”

“I’m the jerk?” He scoffed, side stepping when she tried to snatch it again. “You’ve been pickin’ on me this whole time! ”

“Was not!”

“Were too!”

“WAS NOT!”

“WERE TOO!”

“Hey, now,” Chatter spoke up for the first time, stepping forward. His voice was deep and soft. “Maybe we should all calm down…”

But Dash didn’t want to calm down. She was fuming, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. Logically, she knew she shouldn’t be getting so worked up over a silly, little marble, but she couldn’t control it; she was livid! How dare he take something from her that he knew was special to her! How dare he hold it over her head and taunt her with it! The way he smirked down at her made her stomach bubble with anger. She wasn’t going to let him get away with this.

She lunged once more, but this time, she wasn’t aiming at his hand.

She reached for his head, plucking off the brown cap from his head in one quick swipe and scurrying backward with a triumphant “HA!”

Spot blinked in surprise, his free hand instinctively moving toward his head. His caramel hair was now in disarray, falling in wisps across his face.

“Ha ha. Very funny, girlie, give it back.”

“No.”

“Seriously? Dash, c’mon.”

Dash was already scooping up her bag of belongings and throwing it over her shoulder, a wild grin on her face. It was juvenile, sure, but it was the only thing she could think to do in the heat of the moment. She offered him a quick salute, then bolted from the scene of the crime, leaving a flabbergasted Spot behind her.

She was already halfway down the block before she heard an enraged bellow behind her:

“DAAAAASH!”

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End of Part 1

#newsies #newsies fanfic #newsies oc #newsies oc fanfic #hyacinthus writes #newsies original character #dash #spot #pls be kind this is my first fic since i was 12 asdfgdsa #oc x canon #cringe culture is dead oc x canon is cool now

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incorrectlumityquotes · 3 years

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FULL REVIEWS: “Lost In Language”

Lost in language and I don't know much. Was I thinking aloud and fell out of touch? But I'm back on my feet and eager to be what you wanted.

Seriously? Nothing? You guys have never heard Air Supply? I mean, they’re old AF but still. It’s a funny pun. Whatever.

Back in the day (like it was so long ago) I didn’t know what to expect from this episode. The only thing I caught from the description was library, but hoo boy, we got so much more!

I love the cold opens to this show. It always reminds me that Luz is a silly ass hyper fangirl who still wants life to play out like it does on TV.

“Learning about love and life through the eyes of a child.”

Spoken like a true person who have never done any actual babysitting. The Bat Queen gets her own soft intro for another episode, which I’m noticing more and more re-watching this show. She pays Eda to watch her baby in exchange for a butt-ton of money. Eda, in classic Eda fashion, would rather not split the cash with Luz and gives her an errand to run so she doesn’t have to do it.

I don’t know about you guys, but liked going to the library when I was a kid. It was the only way I could play computer games or go on the internet. Getting online is the easiest thing in the world today, but when I was a kid, it was a luxury my parents couldn’t afford. And dumb-dumb kid me didn’t know that you can borrow movies and comic for free at the library too. That’s how I saw Jaws for the first time.

The library at The Boiling Isles is almost exactly what I expected. Kinda like the Hogwarts library, but with a lot more teeth and eyes everywhere. Luz has a bunch of fun just messing around, until she stumbles upon the cutest goddamn thing ever!

Amity reading to kids at the public library in her free time. My god.

I’m with Luz here. Holy hell, I did not see that coming. I thought Amity was the rival character, the Draco Malfoy of the show, the reluctant ally, the jerk with the heart of gold DEEP in there somewhere. Instead she’s at the Kid’s Corner reading her favorite childhood classic to toddlers. I didn’t know there were angels in the demon realm.

Stop. Stop! You’re already cute.

Seriously this moment made me go “aw” and laugh at the same time. It was weird. Also how does this library have a manga section? Do they import these books from JAPAN in the HUMAN REALM? Is there a publishing company that acts as the middleman? Or are these just the books that the trash slugs ended up barfing on the beach somewhere? I’m thinking too hard about a throwaway joke in the background. Big brain hurt.

AND back to reality...

Luz tries to extend the hand of friendship to Amity and Amity rejects it. I have...thoughts.

First, they this up with another parallel to Azura in the beginning of the episode. I get it. It’s a theme that they are doing, but I would have rather have Luz try to befriend Amity because she wants to, not because Azura did it. It’s not the only reason she does it, but it does kinda bug me a bit. It kinda goes back to Luz wanting life to play out like a story.

Also, a part of me thinks that this is something Amity likes to do alone. Her way of getting away from everyone else and just do something that she enjoys and makes her feel good. We have no proof that it gives her extra credit, so she could just use that as a way to save face. She seemed so happy to do it too.

Finally, you know what this else this reminds me of? The Karate Kid and Cobra Kai. There’s a popular fan theory that has been around since the eighties that if you look at The Karate Kid from the rival’s perspective, the protagonist is the bully. I’m more than sure that’s what going on here. From Amity’s perspective, Luz just gets her into trouble. We’ll get more into that later.

Luz walks off dejected and we get the second big surprise to punch me in the face.

Holy hell, why the fuck are you two so goddamn fucking pretty? I mean, holy shit, look at these two. My god. And ERICA LINDBECK as Emira? Jesus Christ, I’m going to be feeling things I shouldn’t be feeling in places I can’t say!

Joking aside, we get one of our first full introductions that didn’t come with a soft intro from a previous episode. Enter Emira and Emira, Amity’s older siblings who in true sibling fashion like to give Amity a hard time.

“Hey, mittens!”

This seems normal at first. Siblings always rib each other. No big deal.

Amity storms off. The twins introduce themselves proper to Luz (and the audience) and they mess around for a bit.

In fact, they have so much fun messing around with Luz that they decide to invite her back afterhours to check out The Wailing Star. Luz thinks that this is a great way to get on Amity’s good side by befriending her siblings. Why she would think this I have no idea.

Meanwhile the B-plot continues its adventures in babysitting. I don’t like using the word filler (so I won’t) but this B-plot is really just for two things: setting up Escape of the Palisman and jokes. It does both. No harm, no foul.

Also the twins said for Luz to meet back at midnight and Luz was at The Owl House for like a hot second. There’s like a huge gap of time there. What did she do until midnight? Whatever. If it was important it would have been animated.

Also also, I love all of Luz’s little saying in this episode. She does it a lot but they cranked it up in this episode. Featuring great hits like:

“This sour lemon drop has a hidden sweet center.”

and

“I thought we were as cool as cucumbers but we’re as sour as pickles.”

and my favorite

“Call me a library book because they were checking me out.”

I hope they keep doing that.

Back at the literal Wailing Star (I laughed so hard), The twins and Luz discover that The Wailing Star brings the content of the books to life. Does that work for all books in The Boiling Isles or just the library? Enough. No more big brain. The three proceed to...mess around some more.

The twins discover offscreen (Really? Really.) that if you edit the contents of the book, you change what comes to life. Then the twins reveal their true objectives. Apparently, Amity has been tattling on the twins whenever they cut class or do whatever it is that they want. They’ve decided to look for her secret little hideaway (that they somehow know is in the library), find her diary and post all the pages all over school to teach her a lesson.

Um, fucking no.

And here we enter the true lesson of this episode and probably the reason why Hecate is draw with two faces. People being more than just what they appear to be at face value.

Amity appears to be the bully character of the show, and while she did bully Willow, Luz and King, there’s more to her than that. Amity is lonely. As a fellow person who grew up lonely, trust me. I can tell from a mile away. She puts pressure on herself to be the best at whatever she’s doing and to be the best. She hates that she follows the rules but people like her siblings seem to get rewarded for breaking the rules and doing whatever they want free of consequence. She sees the double standard that they live by and it angers her. But at the same time, everyone seems to give the twins a free pass so she can’t do anything about it.

Even worse, there’s no one for her to confide in. It wouldn’t make it better but it would make it easier for her to just vent and get the bullshit out of her brain. She doesn’t like her friends and the one friend she did like...that’s for another episode. Hence, the diary. Amity is a big ball of frustration and loneliness. I know because I grew up in a very similar way.

When you’re forced to keep your anger inside you, you lash out at any little thing that bothers you just to ease your frustrations. It doesn’t make it okay but it’s the only way to cope sometimes just to get by.

The twins on the other hand seem like everything you’d want in a friend. They’re fun; they like you; they’re attractive; they’re attentive. But in reality, they live in a world where they believe consequences and accountability don’t apply to them. And they’ll do anything to keep it that way. Even humiliate their sister.

Luz seems like a happy-go-lucky, friends to all things kinda person, but she can also be innocently insensitive. She just does things hoping they turn out the way they would for Azura without considering how the people around her would feel about it.

It doesn’t make any of these characters two-faced. We just are different things to different people.

Amity discovers what’s going down and Luz (being the empathic person that she is) decide to try to go talk to her.

Then I’m reminded that this is a horror-comedy.

My god, you’re ugly.

One climax later (don’t laugh), and Luz and Amity try to make amends with each other. They both have to think about how they’ve been treating the other, earning the title of bully or not. They’re not friends yet but this is...better.

FINAL SCORE: 5 - Loved it.

Damn, The Owl House is one a roll. That’s what? Three 5 scored episodes already? Hot damn. This episode was fun but it really hit hard with the character work on Amity. She quickly became one of the most interesting characters and a fan favorite. And the third act provided a good amount of horror to call this a horror comedy. The B-plot is fine but probably one of the weakest only saved by several funny jokes. This is one of those episodes I kept coming back to and a favorite to watch.

Could you two please not? I’m gonna get in trouble.

#the owl house #my works #full review #full reviews

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kelmcdonald · 2 years

Text

I have a lot of thoughts

New Post has been published on https://kelmcdonald.com/news/i-have-a-lot-of-thoughts/

I have a lot of thoughts

This is crossposted with my newletter

Hey all! Another month as come and gone. I’ve mostly had my nose to the grind stone on the usual comics, The City Between and You are the Chosen One. I did pop on to War Rocket Ajax to promote You are the Chosen One, since chapter 3 has gotten the ball rolling. We detour into talking about video games a bit, but I do talk about how I came up with the characters names. So give it a listen. Because I’ve been on War Rocket Ajax a bunch of times the listener questions are werewolf focused. And after the show it lead to me talking to my pal Kevin about something I think is a common problem in werewolf related media. Basically, there is a show called Wolf like Me on peacock’s streaming service. It is about werewolves. You can tell it’s about werewolves because of the name of the show. The problem is that it wants to build up to the reveal of the werewolf. So for several episodes it is building tension/momentum by hinting that one character is a werewolf but because you know know the title of the show you already know the character is a werewolf. Instead of building interest in their reveal/mystery, they are mostly building: And it’s a problem I’ve seen in a lot of werewolf media. That desire for a slow burn is something I understand. The slow burn is something I love when pulled off well. But it’s at odds with the title/marketing/etc, wanting people to know here be werewolves. This sorta conflict is something I’ve been thinking about in regards to the werewolf comic I’m working on, Blue Moon. The shows/movies I’ve seen where the slow burn works usually have another plot going on and the slow reveal of the werewolf is a b-plot. Anyway, besides thinking about werewolves I watched a lot of Our Flag Means Death. If you don’t know, Our Flag Means Death is the new pirate comedy starring Rhys Darby and Taika Waititi. They play Stede Bonnet and Blackbeard. It’s a show that is very funny. It takes a little bit to gain steam but once Taika’s Blackbeard shows up, the show hits high points and keeps out doing itself. Stede and Blackbeard grow closer every episode and the two have a romantic arc. It’s one that I appreciate is text rather than subtext. I also got very invested in the non-binary pirate Jim’s story of getting torn between wanting vengeance and staying with the crew. I definitely hope it gets a season 2. Anyway, this month I’m going to keep working on The City Between and You are the Chosen One. In the meantime, I did my taxes a few weeks ago and found out I owe the government more money than I expected. So I’m having a 20% off sale in my store with the coupon code: taxes That sale will last until April 15th. So if you’ve been thinking about getting any of my books, now is a good time to grab some. Anyway, enjoy your month and thank you all for your support.

#newsletter

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seancekitsch · 4 years

Text

Prize Buck

I’m out of my hiatus. I was asked for Klaus Headcanons, wrote a smut fic after work today instead whoops

A/N: drug use, addiction, oral(m/f receiving), unprotected sex (wrap that shit folx), female or nb afab reader, thinking sad thoughts while doing sexy things, sorta sub!Klaus, mental health issues, roughness, unedited, i added a line that only makes sense if you read the comics

———————————————

“You’re seriously telling me you’ve never done this? You?” Klaus asks, bringing the bowl and the lighter closer to you. You hadn’t, in honesty. You were the worlds most casual of casual stoners. You’d roll a joint if the mood struck you; meticulously crafted and thin for the perfect little heady time. Or you’d take a hit from a bong at a friends house, only if they offered to smoke you out. Really though, weed wasn’t your thing, it just had to become a part of the routine now because there weren’t other options. You couldn’t get your normal poison, amphetamines, so feeling uncontrollably sluggish instead of uncontrollably wired was the new normal.

A non-committal head shake was all you could offer. He was right to be incredulous at that revelation. You had met in rehab, for god’s sake. Klaus had, no HAS, a lot of problems, some you watched him scream and sweat through during his first week in the room across the hall from you. You were the one that he woke up constantly, because your crash left you near coma and crying when you were conscious. Despite making your recovery hell, he was the only one you could talk to when the tears subsided. Before rehab, you were a a published scholar at the height of your career, working with a newly discovered artifact from an anthropology dig. You’d spent your career hopped up on all of the meds you could find, culminating this research, staying up for thirteen days before having a breakdown in which you break the artifact from shaking so hard and crash your car fleeing the research center with your writing.

Weed was new. It was never your thing. But Klaus was new too, and he was your thing. You’d become fast friends in group therapy sessions, and inseparable out of them. It was unorthodox and frowned upon, but you became roommates once you’d gotten out. Just a small studio above a shop. A couch and a mattress that you’d switch off sleeping on, or you’d just both crash on the flood a hairs breadth away from snuggling. But it was the option that worked. You’d both confided that true sobriety wasn’t an option. So instead of anything hard, it was weed and alcohol. This was something that wouldn’t kill you or get you sent back. Controllable. And maybe one day you’d be able to go into a different field. Get an apartment with an actual bedroom. Maybe he could be able to shut out some of his power. But for now, this is what would work. It was a transition that made sense to you.

“I just can’t believe you’ve never shotgunned a bowl. Don’t all the great writers have their little parties where they smoke each other out? Isn’t that how Mary and Percy had that orgy with Lord Byron?” You wanted to correct him that you were a disgraced anthropologist, not a writer, but his warm thigh nudging yours reminds you now isn’t really the time. You give a weak smile instead.

“I guess since you’re the only person I smoke with, you’d be the only person to shotgun me.” He scooches closer to you, earthy scent already working wonders to entrance you. You wonder if he knew he had this effect on your mind and body.

“So you’ll let me shoot you now?” He asks. You smile, a little anxious, a little toothy.

“Shoot me? What am I, a ten point buck?”

There’s going to be a great feat of self control to keep yourself from jumping the curly haired man next to you, and self control is not one of your strong suits. You were head over heels in lust with Klaus and you didn’t even know if he was into women.

He begins with an unceremonious prodding at the fresh ground bud in the glass bowl with his pinky. Then he flicks the gas station lighter once. Twice. A spark. The flame dips into the bowl and there’s a soft crackle that’s accompanied and fueled by Klaus’ plump lips wrapping around the head of the pipe. It’s almost obscene to look at and you find yourself shifting uncomfortably. Well, not uncomfortably, but not in a way that’s appropriate for this setting. There’s probably more than a slight chance Klaus knows you’re aroused, but he’s being polite about it. Even now, as his lungs are filling up with smoke, and he’s puffing out his cheeks like a chipmunk, there’s this ebbing and throbbing between your legs.

And now, for the shotgun itself. You know he’s blowing all the smoke in his body into your mouth, but the last thing you expect is how it feels to actually have his lips on yours. At first he’s methodical, a slow diaphragm push of smoke into your mouth, your lips parted slightly and drinking in the smoke as it comes. But no, that’s not enough; not giving Klaus enough access to deliver the goods. He makes quick work of parting your lips further by a harsh squeeze to your jaw. The way the smoke and his tongue invade your mouth does nothing to help curb the lack of self control you possess as you moan wantonly into the kiss. The shotgun. You could be addicted to this alone.

By the time he pulls away, you feel like a balloon in that you’re floating, and the hand you have securely placed on your roommates thigh is the only thing keeping you from floating out the window and into some electrical wires or into a tree for birds to choke to death on. You start low, reddened eyes looking from your hand on his thigh, up to his chest. Klaus’ chest is almost always bare. His arms and the muscles of his abdomen were littered with the odd scar and tattoo here and there. He told you they’re from fighting in Vietnam in the 1960s and France in the 1400s. When he said it, he was so earnest you could do nothing but believe him. Then your eyes travel a little more north, to his lips. He needs a shave; his mustache and his chin getting a bit too scraggly, but they tickled when you came together for the smoke. And then you finally meet his eyes, unabashed that you just drank him in like lemonade. His pupils are blown wide when you finally look into them; not something weed would do to you. No, this was something else.

“Another?” He asks, voice trembling and breathy, not above a whisper.

“I- I want more.” Your voice coming out a tad huskier than you intended, not masking how his actions had an effect on you. Your skirt feels entirely too open right now. If you were wearing jeans, or tight pants like his, you’d feel some kind of restraint. Like a chastity belt, you think, some real medieval torture. But it would be all too easy to lift this skirt, or even to shift your hips and grind against something for even a tiny iota of relief.

You don’t even watch Klaus take the hit this time, only turning your head back to face him when you hear him stop sucking. This time, he sets the bowl down before leaning in. Your mouth is open and ready for him, already a quick learner from what just transpired. So Klaus doesn’t grab your jaw this time. Instead, he grabs the hand that’s still resting on his thigh.

And he shoves it towards the crotch of his pants.

Where your open palm lands clumsy and hard against the hardness straining at his pants.

He groans as contact is made and almost coughs the rest of the smoke into your mouth, but you’re there to suck it down in stride. There’s only a quick pause for you to exhale this now twice filtered smoke before your lips re-attach to his, the bowl and lighter now forgotten.

His hand drifts to your jaw a second time, before sliding down further to the back of your neck, pulling you in closer, until it strains your back. He knows you fell asleep on the couch last night, so he knows how much this burns your taught muscles. All to his advantage it seems, as you shift your weight to your knee before turning and straddling him, all without breaking the kiss or your removing your hand from his clothed cock. Your skirt pools at where both of your hips meet, and he readjusts it -ever the gentleman- for you as you begin to knead and squeeze him beneath your hand.

Instead of smoke now, your mouths fill with the moans and sighs of each other, both refusing to end the kissing first and both running out of air. The onslaught of kissing continues through some under the shirt fondling, through Klaus less than gently pinching at your nipples, through you unbuttoning Klaus’ pants- now much too tight. He only breaks the kiss finally to beckon you,

“Stand up, I’ve got something else I want to show you”

Wobbly, you give his clothed cock one more squeeze before you rise to your feet.

While you move to reposition, standing over him now with your skirt bunched in one hand and your panties in another, he shimmies his pants down to his knees. All of your wondering if he was into more than just men is silenced when his tongue makes first contact with your clit. He takes the time to swirl his tongue tantalizingly slow, then quickly flicking his tongue upward, making your knees buckle until they land at the back of the couch just above his shoulders. You lean into it as he writes letters to you with his tongue, teasing the entrance to your cunt with his fingers and gathering the wetness until his fingers are slick.

You’re about to beg for it, cry for his fingers to penetrate you, but you don’t have to because he plunges in to the hilt. There is no easing into it, he thrusts his middle and ring finger at a break neck speed. Your skin feels white hot and the only purchase you can find is in squeezing the fabric balled in your palms and Klaus skewers you and torches every one of your nerve endings with his hot mouth and fingers.

Your high is coming to a head, literally and figuratively, when Klaus retracts all attention. You whine, pouting and pitiful, when he says something that surprises you:

“You’re gonna cum, right? Order me. Order me to make you cum. I’ll obey.”

So you do.

“Fuck— Klaus. Fuck! Make me cum. Make me cum on your face.”

When he returns to your cunt he’s unmerciful, working you back up to and through your high before you can even realize it’s happening. You barely savor it before you’re convulsing, sinking your knees further until they rest on his shoulders and he has to grab you by the ass to hold you up. You hadn’t been touched like this since before you had met Klaus, and you wanted more. Insatiable and prone, you make your next move untangling yourself from his grasp.

Sinking down, you feel the old wood creak beneath your stiff knees. This would hurt like a bitch, but when Klaus smiles down at you with his face covered in the wetness of your orgasm, you can’t find a reason to care. His smile is genuine, wide and splitting, the same look he gives you when you come home with pizza. Well, this was about to be better than pizza. The tip of your tongue touches the head of his cock first, a tiny testing lick earning a full body shudder from the man in front of you.

“Please don’t tease. Do a guy a favor. Please baby?”

You’re a sucker for his pleading, and just as he didn’t give you time to adjust, you don’t give him any warning before you sink your entire mouth down on him, only stopping to hollow out your cheeks when his tip hits the back of your throat. You hold it there for a moment, and then only gag as your lungs run out of oxygen. Klaus could be a substitute for oxygen, you’d gladly rather take him in than anything you would have tried before.

He whines, you notice. High pitched and needy. He would probably do anything I asked right now to cum, you think, but you quickly dismiss the thought. In a way you’re glad it’s you sucking his soul out through his cock and no one else, because he’s putting so much of himself into this. You wonder if he’s been taken advantage before. You hope not.

You banish the thought by moaning around the head of his cock. You revel in his reaction, to bury both of his hands in your hair as he all but sobs out “oh god please keep doing that” or something like that, you can’t really tell for sure over the rush his touch sends straight back down to your core.

As much as you want to worship his cock, your own tears from gagging on it start to sting your eyes. So you pull off him, just long enough to ask,

“Do you want me to finish you like this? Or another way?” Pausing to kiss the underside of his cock before adding, “You can have any part of me you want”

It’s like a flip switches, and he’s pulling you back up, pulling your skirt down and off of you in fluid motion, before you take your spot straddling him again. Impatient, he pushes you down onto him, thrusting away immediately finding a groove.

“Oh I’m gonna make you cum— gonna be real good for you. M-make you feel real good.” He’s a stuttering, groaning mess as he thrusts up into you.

“You feel amazing inside me. You’re doing so good, Klaus. Making me feel amazing,” you coo, doing everything to praise and encourage him. “I’m gonna cum, can you feel that? It’s all for you, do you want that— OH”

The thought caught mid air stopped short by a particularly accurate thrust right into a spot that makes you scream, your second orgasm of the afternoon now much closer than it had been. You feel your muscles clench as you bear down on him, trying to make Klaus hit that spot over and over. By the way his rhythm is almost non existent, you can tell he’s almost there too.

Something crosses your mind, and before you fully process the thought, one of your hands is wrapping around his throat, fingers and thumb squeezing deftly so that you don’t close the airway, but that he sees stars. That does it.

Klaus cumming is almost more beautiful than it feels. His cock twitches and paints your insides, and you cum from the sensation as well, but the blissed-out fucked-out face smiling up at you is to see heaven itself. His eyeliner is streaked with tears, his lips swollen and bruised, a smile splitting his face in two.

You move to get up, maybe clean yourself up, but at least put your panties back on. Klaus stops you though with his hands gently but firmly on your hips, holding you in place.

“Just stay. For a bit. I’m not one of those dames you can deflower and avoid their calling cards.”

A snort of laughter. A joke covering real insecurity; you can see right through it.

“Klaus, you were deflowered long before I ever got here, but I’m not gonna go anywhere. You shot me, I’m your prize buck.”

#my work #klaus x reader #klaus hargreeves x reader #klaus hargreeves imagine #klaus hargreeves smut #smut #tw drugs #addiction tw #drugs cw #prize buck series

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artzychic27 · 4 years

Text

Painbow

The artwork was made by @lizzey-13, who asked if I could write this. Thanks again for asking me to write this! :)

—

“And so, the British...”

Nathaniel was trying not to fall asleep from the boring lecture. He usually stays up by sketching, but he’s already gone through three sketchbooks in just one month, now there was nothing keeping him from dozing off in the middle of class. He did have another sketchbook with him, but that was for the Ladybug comic.

He looked up at the clock sitting above the door... Just seven minutes left, he could do this. Why couldn’t his bangs have been even? Then he could fall asleep without anyone noticing

“And the war brought...”

Gotta stay up... Five more minutes... Nathaniel turned his head slightly and looked out the window. It had just stopped raining, little droplets were running down the glass window pane, and the sky looked a little grey. The only thing that stood out from the dreariness was the bright rainbow in the sky... It reminded him of Marc. The boy’s name was literally ‘Rainbow’! If you took out the M.

Now that was keeping him awake. How could he sleep when Marc was on his mind? His smile, his gentle voice, the graceful way his pencil moves whenever he was writing. The mere through of the boy brought a faint smile to Nathaniel’s usually stoic face.

RIIIIING!

At the sound of the bell, Nathaniel snapped out of his thoughts. Class was over

“Class dismissed. Have a good day, everyone.”

Nathaniel gathered his belongings and made his way down the stairs where Alix was waiting for him, “You goin’ to art club?” She asked, but the smirk on her face meant she already knew the answer

“Yeah I’m going.”

Once they left the classroom, Alix, with a smirk still on her face, turned around and mimicked kissing someone. Her hands went up and down her back, “Oh, Marc. I love you so much.” She said in a low voice, mimicking Nathaniel “I love you so much, babe.”

Nathaniel rolled his eyes at his shorter friend’s antics and playfully slapped her arms, making her stop

“Okay! Okay! I’ll stop!” She said through her giggles, then she turned around and saw the familiar bright red hoodie coming down the hallway. “Go get him, Romeo.” She sends the redhead a wink before running off to the art classroom

Nathaniel fixed up his hair, straightened his blazer, and approached the writer. The closer he got, the more he noticed something off about Marc. His hair was a little more messier than usual, and he had a tired look in his eyes

“Marc?” The taller boy flinched, Nathaniel became worried, “Rainbow, are you okay?” Marc seemed less tense after hearing his nickname

“Y-yeah. I’m fine.” His eyes shifted as if he were looking for someone, “Let’s just go-”

“Marc, please tell me what’s wrong.” He took Marc’s hand in his, “You flinched when I said your name. What happened?”

“... Just the usual stuff.” He admitted, “They threw notes at me,” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out said notes, “telling me to die, calling me some stuff, something about conversion therapy, I look like a girl...”, He sounded so bored, like he’d done this a hundred times, “They’re not even being original anymore.” He crumpled up the notes and put them in a nearby trash can “Come on, let’s get to art club.”

Nathaniel’s mouth hung open slightly. He stayed like that for a moment until he finally found his words “Rainbow, how can you just let this go?”, he asked, “This isn’t right.”

“Nath, I’m used to it.” He admitted, “I-It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“But-”

“Please? For me?”

Nathaniel wanted to argue, but that smile made him give in, “Fine.” He grumbled, “But if this gets physical, I am getting involved.” Marc nodded sadly. Nathaniel leaned in and kissed Marc on the cheek, making his lips curl into a smile, “Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

—

The next week at school went pretty smoothly. The new Ladybug comic was published, paperback and online, and everyone really seemed to enjoy it. Nathaniel wanted to be happy right now, but he just couldn’t stop thinking about what happened to Marc. No one should have to endure that kind of treatment, and just be used to it... But, he promised that he wouldn’t do anything unless Marc showed up covered in bruises.

So far it’s been nothing but cruel notes in his locker and unoriginal insults. Marc just let it go and threw the notes away, but Nathaniel was pissed and close to being akumatized many times. Fortunately, Marc always managed to calm him down before any akumas could appear

“Nath!” Alix called out as she ran over to him with the latest issue of the comic in her hand, “I am loving this comic, man!” She wraps an arm around him and winks, “And don’t think I didn’t see those background gay couples.”

Nathaniel rolled his eyes, “Of course you would notice them.”

“Cuz I got gay-dar!” She exclaimed with a laugh, but that look soon faded when she saw the aggravated look in Nathaniel’s eye, “Are you okay? You’re looking a little ticked off.”

Nathaniel let out a sigh, “It’s Marc. Some guys have been messing with him, and he won’t let me do anything.”

Alix frowned, “What have they been doing?”

“What do you think?”

Alix kicked a wall in frustration, “God, that’s still happening?” Nathaniel nodded, “Well, we have to teach those asses a lesson! Make sure it doesn’t happen again!”

He shook his head, “No, I promised Marc that I wouldn’t do anything unless it got physical. So far it’s just been shitty notes and name-calling.”

He started walking to the classroom, Alix followed

“I-I don’t get it.” Nathaniel said, “He doesn’t even care. Or he does, but he doesn’t wanna admit it!”

“Well, why don’t you take it to Damocles?”

“I tried, but he won’t do anything unless I bring him evidence, and Marc keeps throwing the notes away!”, he exasperated, “And, I’m trying, I really am. But I can’t just sit back and watch-” Alix put a finger to his lips, “Alix?”

“Thought I heard something.”

‘Where’s your boyfriend, Anciel?’

‘Looks like he didn’t even want you.’

Nathaniel ran to the source of the cruel voices and found himself standing outside the locker room. He put his ear to the door and listened.

‘Stop it!’

That sounded like Marc

‘What are you gonna do, ya queer?’

Having heard enough, Nathaniel barged into the room and saw the scene before him. Marc was being pinned to the wall by Louis, the school bully. Nothing like Chloe though. She had the common decency to insult people out in the open while he cornered people and threatened them in private. Victor and Clement, his lackeys watched with amused looks as they vandalized Marc’s journal

“HEY!” The bullies were startled by the loud voice, but calmed down when they realized it was only Nathaniel

Louis sneered, “Look, guys. The queer’s boy toy came to save him.” he taunted

Ignoring him, Nathaniel stormed over to Louis and pushed him off of Marc, making him land on the floor. Nathaniel stormed over to Victor and Clement, and snatched Marc’s journal out of their hands. He took Marc’s hand and started pulling him out of the locker room, but he stopped on his tracks when he heard Louis mutter...

“Damn f*gs.”

“... Nath?”

Nathaniel scowled, but did nothing and proceeded to walk Marc out of the locker room while not saying a word. It was quiet up until Alix and Marinette approached them, both looking concerned

“Guys, what happened?!” Marinette asked

Neither of them said a word until...

“Nothing. I-it’s fine.” Marc said

Nathaniel sighed, handed Marc his defaced journal and walked away, leaving Marinette and Alix confused

—

“A boy who only wants to protect the one he loves, yet his lover chooses to suffer in silence.”

Hawkmoth held out his hand and beckoned for a butterfly to land in his palm. Once it perched itself, Hawkmoth covered it with his other hand and the power of the Miraculous filled the butterfly with dark magic, turning it into an Akuma

The Akuma flew out through the window

“Fly away my little Akuma! And evilize him!”

—

Nathaniel stormed down the hallway. He didn’t know where he was going, he just needed to think. He didn’t understand. Why wouldn’t Marc let him help? Why didn’t he care?... Why didn’t he knock out Louis? He knew Marc endured this kind of treatment constantly, but he wanted to help him... Protect him...

He was too wrapped up in his thoughts to hear the flapping of an Akuma’s wings. And he definitely didn’t notice the Akuma flying into his bisexual flag bracelet. The purple Akuma symbol appeared over his face. Hawkmoth spoke,

“Painbow, I am Hawkmoth. I understand the feeling of wanting to protect the one you love. Let me give you some assistant. All I ask in return is that you bring me Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculous.”

“I’ll protect you, Marc.” His whispered as dark purple magic bubbled up from the bracelet and surrounded him. Students standing in the hallway fled, not wanting to face the wrath of the newest Akuma. Some stayed, too paralyzed to move, which was a horrible mistake. Shooting from the Akuma’s hand was a multicolored energy ball. When hit, they felt something seize them, and they were suddenly puppeted by a strange force. Their irises took of the appearance of the color wheel, and they had wide smiles plastered on their faces

“Find my Rainbow, and Louis. NOW!”

—

Alix looked around the classroom, but Nathaniel was nowhere in sight. ‘He must’ve been really upset.’ She thought, and then turned her attention to Mme. Bustier

“Now, please open your books to-”

A flash of multicolored light beamed through the window, making the students shield their eyes

‘What is that?’

‘What’s going on?’

‘They got me!’

‘Sound the Akuma Alarm!’

‘Where are you my sweet Rainbow?!’

The class looked out the window but kept low so the Akuma wouldn’t see them. They watched in horror as the red-haired villain shot rainbow energy balls at random students. Each time he missed, the energy balls would cause a massive explosion. When he did hit a student, their eyes would become multicolored and they’d have alarmingly wide smiles.

“Rainbow, sweetie?!” He called out, “Come on out! We’re going to find you!”

“Rainbow?” Alix whispered to herself. Only Marc was called ‘Rainbow’. She then came to the conclusion, “That’s Nath!”

Nathaniel, now Painbow’s bangs were swooped to the side and dyed the colors of the rainbow, his eyes were blue with no iris or pupil, and they looked like crystals. He has on a white floor-length sleeveless trench coat with a rainbow sash going across the waist, a magenta tank top with blue pants, a purple belt, and black boots. He also has on white gloves, and a rainbow cuff bracelet on his left wrist

“Marc!~” He sang, “I can’t keep you safe if you’re not by my side!” With no response, he shrugged, “I’ll just destroy the whole school until I find you, or Louis!” With that, he fired another rainbow energy ball that created a hole in the wall

Mme. Bustier turned to the class, “While Nathaniel is distracted, you all need to run out of here.” Her students nodded, “And if you find Marc or Louis, make sure they get out.” She looked out the window and sees Painbow hurling lockers at panicked students who weren’t under his control

“NO ONE LEAVES UNTIL I HAVE MY RAINBOW!”

“Run!” Bustier ordered, and the class did not hesitate to run for the door, but when opened, they backed away when they saw the Akuma. The inhumanly wide smile plastered on his face was not easing their nerves

“I clearly said, no one leaves until I have my Rainbow.”

Alix cautiously approached her Akumatized friend, “Nath, whatever’s wrong, just-”

Before she could say another word, Painbow summoned several rainbow energy balls that he shot at the class. Marinette, Adrien, Alya, Nino, Mylene, and Alix managed to avoid them and run out the room, but the rest were now under his control

“Fine me Marc Anciel and Louis Kress! And if you see Ladybug and Chat Noir, take their Miraculous!”, he ordered, and the smiling multicolored eyed students ran out in search for the two

—

Looking through the window in Mme. Mendeleiev’s classroom, Marc watched in fear as the controlled students caused havoc in the school looking for him, while his akumatized boyfriend shouted his nickname and blasted rainbow energy balls from his hands

He sighed, “This is my fault.” He hid his face in his gloved hands

Aurore frowned and placed a hand on his shoulder, “Marc, don’t say that! You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“B-but he’s mad because I was getting bullied by Louis,” He explained “and I told him not to do anything.”

“It’s Louis’ fault, not yours.” Aurore said, then smirked, “And Nath’s probably only after you so he can kiss that cute face of yours.”, she joked, causing Marc’s lips to curl into a smile “Ladybug and Chat Noir will handle this. Nathaniel will be fine, and you two can talk it out, okay?” At Marc’s nod, she gives him a side hug

“Rainbow...” Painbow’s eerie voice called out

Mme. Mendeleiev signals for the students to get down so Painbow won’t see them. They crouch under the window as Painbow walks by the classroom

Marc let out a small whimper, making Mireille cover his mouth. They hear the Akuma’s footsteps fade away and let out sighs of relief

Mme. Mendeleiev stood, “Okay, he’s gone.”

Right as she said this, the door to the classroom exploded outwards in a cloud of splinters and rainbow dust, causing everyone to duck and cover. Looking up, Marc saw his villain boyfriend. His smile somehow became even more unnerving when his eyes landed on Marc

“Hello, My Rainbow.” He cooed as he approached him. Before he could get any closer, Mme. Mendeleiev stood in front of him, putting on a brave face in front of the Akuma

“You will not lay a finger on one of my students!” She said in a commanding tone

Painbow didn’t look threatened, and instead let out a laugh. Then with a flick of his wrist, an energy balls shot from his hand, hitting Mendeleiev, and putting her under his control. She stepped to the side, no longer blocking him. He looked around the classroom before honing in on Marc, who was backing into a corner with Aurore and Mireille

He gave a chilling smile, “Rainbow, please come here.” Seeing that Aurore and Mireille had no intentions of letting his love go, Painbow summoned two more energy balls that when thrown at the two weather girls, their eyes become multicolored. “Bring me my Rainbow.”, he commanded.

Aurore and Mireille complied as they dragged a struggling Marc over to the Akuma, and into his waiting arms, “I missed you!”

Marc tried to pry the Akuma’s arms off of him, but to no avail, “Nath! Stop this!” Painbow’s smile strained, “I told you, I don’t care about Louis, just-” Painbow put a finger to his lip, silencing him

“Sweetie, I don’t like your tone very much.” Instead of summoning an energy ball, Painbow kissed Marc’s forehead and the green of the writer’s irises faded and became multicolored. And instead of the creepily wide smiles the other students had, he had a look of bliss. He threw his arms around Painbow and kissed his cheeks affectionately

Seeing a crowd forming around them, Painbow summoned multiple energy balls that flew around the room, hitting each student and putting them under his control

—

Once Ladybug and Chat Noir ran out of their hiding spots after transforming, they found themselves in the courtyard being assaulted by their mind controlled school mates. The ones who weren’t under the Akuma’s control managed to evacuate with the heroes’ help. They spared a glance at Painbow, who had Marc settled in his arms before leaping out of the open roof of the school

“That’s gotta be Nathaniel!” Ladybug rounded up ten students with her yoyo before hurling, then locking them in a storage closet

“Can’t we deal with these guys later?!” Chat asked as he whacked two students away, “There’s too many of them!”

“Alright, let’s go!” Ladybug flung another student away before using her yoyo to zip out of the school, Chat followed, vaulting after her using his staff

As they leapt from roof to roof, Ladybug and Chat came across Alix, Nino, Mylene, Alya, and a few other students who have taken cover above ground. “Are you all okay?” Ladybug asked and received nods along with scattered ‘yes’ and ‘we’re okay’.

“Ladybug,” Alix said as she approached the two heroes, “Chat Noir! Nathaniel is looking for Louis Kress. I saw him running from our classmates! They’re probably still looking for him!”

Ladybug nodded before she opened up the phone setting on her yoyo and pulled up a live-stream, showing Nadja, also under Painbow’s control

“Don’t bemused! It’s just the news!” Nadja said in a cheery tone, “Louis Kress, our second in command’s offender, was recently spotted in the Louvre! Painbow’s loyal followers are doing everything in their power to find him keep him from escaping.”

Ladybug smiled then turned to the students, “Stay safe. We’ll handle this.”

“I’LL FIND YOU, KRESS! EVEN IF I HAVE TO TEAR DOWN THIS ENTIRE PLACE TO DO IT!”, Painbow yelled as he lifted a sarcophagus before throwing it away

Wake up!

He’s controlling you!

Your eyes are supposed to be green, stupid!

“Is something wrong, my Rainbow?”

Marc blinked his multicolored eyes as he looked at the Akuma punching a column. He smiled and shook his head, “I’m fine.”

Painbow gave a warm smile as he cupped Marc’s face in his hands, “Are you sure?” Marc nodded, “That’s good. You should be thrilled. Louis and everyone just like him will be out of our lives forever.”

What did he mean by the last part?!

Wake up, Anciel!

Your boyfriend is an Akuma!

He’s gonna kill Louis!

“I can’t wait.”

Painbow leaned in to give him a kiss, but then the glowing purple Akuma symbol appeared over his eyes and he clutched his head in pain.

“What is it?! What’s wrong?!”, Marc asked frantically

Hawkmoth spoke, “Don’t get distracted, Painbow! You had your chance to take the Miraculous, but didn’t seize your moment! Mess this up, or I’ll take away your powers!”

“Alright, just stop it!”, Painbow begged. The searing pain stopped, and he saw Marc looking at him with concern, “I’m fine. Someone is just a little impatient.”

Aurore ran up to the couple, “Painbow, we found him!”, she cheered

Painbow beamed at the news before gathering Marc in his arms, “Finally!”, Aurore lead them into the paintings gallery where they found Louis surrounded by a mob of controlled citizens and being restrained by Kim and Juleka, “Louis, what a pleasure.” He set Marc down and moved toward his victim, looking at him like a jungle cat that had caught its prey

“L-look man! I’ll leave Anciel alone! I swear!”, he pleaded, “I won’t bother you, o-or mess with that goth chick and her girlfriend!”

Painbow’s blue eyes widened at that last sentence, “Excuse me?”, he looked up at Juleka, “Jules, is this true?”

The goth girl nodded, the unnatural smile never leaving her face. Painbow grinded his teeth as he summoned another energy ball, only the colors were darker shades, “I’ve been DYING to use this one!” Louis closed his eye and turned away, knowing very well that this was the end for him. Suddenly, a familiar whizzing sound hit everyone’s ears as Ladybug’s yoyo wrapped around Painbow’s wrist. He lost his focus, and the energy ball bounced around the room before hitting a portrait, burning a hole in the center

Chat winced, “That would’ve been bad.”

“Nathaniel! Do you really want to do this?”, Ladybug asked, trying to reason with him, “What would Marc say?!”

Painbow folded his arms across his chest, “He doesn’t mind.”, he turns to Marc, “Do you, Rainbow?”

Yes! You just tried to murder him!

“Do whatever you think is best.”

“See? He’s fine with it.”

“LUCKY CHARM!”

What dropped in her hands was...

“A roll of tape?”

Using Marc, lead Painbow out of the museum, the others will follow

Have Chat Noir Cataclysm the security system, the bars will drop, trapping Painbow’s followers. He’ll be alone and defenseless

Deflect any of his blasts, then cause a distraction so he’s vulnerable. While vulnerable, wrap the tape around Painbow’s hands, he won’t be able to use his powers

Break his bracelet and free the Akuma

“Chat, go to the security system, and wait for my signal!” With a salute, Chat Noir made his way over to the security system. Using her yoyo, Ladybug wrapped it around Marc’s waist. With a yelp, he was pulled into her arms. “Come and get him, Painbow!”

Terror shone through his voice as he screamed, “SAVE HIM! SAVE MY RAINBOW! We’ll deal with Kress later!”

Ladybug hoisted Marc over her shoulder and ran as Painbow and his followers chased her. She was a few feet away from the gallery entrance when she yelled, “CHAT, NOW!”

“CATACLYSM!”

Chat touched the security system, making it short circuit before turning black and disintegrating into dust. Ladybug and Painbow managed to slide under the metal bars before they hit the floor. The rest were stuck in the gallery with no way out

“GIVE HIM BACK!”, Painbow yelled as he tried to blast the heroes, only to fail as they deflected each attack

“Chat! Cover me!”

“On it, M’Lady!” Chat got in front of Ladybug and blocked Painbow’s attacks by spinning his staff. While Painbow is focused on the leather-clad hero, Ladybug used the opportunity to wrap her yoyo around Painbow’s ankle, and yanked it so he’d trip

Painbow quickly got back up, but before he could attack again, he found his hands bound together by red duct-tape with black spots. He looked up and saw Ladybug reaching for his bracelet. “NO!”, she smashed the bracelet, releasing the Akuma

Catching it with her yoyo, Ladybug said, “No more evildoing for you, little Akuma. Time to de-evilize! Gotcha!” From the yoyo emerged a newly purified white butterfly, “Bye bye little butterfly.” She then tossed the tape roll into the air, “MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!”

Thousands of ladybugs burst from the tape and spread out all over the town, repairing all of the damages. The afflicted citizens returned to their normal selves, confused as to what they’re doing. The magic swept over the students who took shelter on the rooftop, and they were back at Dupont. The Akuma’s dark magic bubbled away, leaving Nathaniel Kurtzberg, confused as to what’s happening

The two heroes fist-bumped, “Pound it!”, while Nathaniel held his head, still very confused

“Nath?”

The redhead looked up as Marc ran over and threw his arms around him, whispering about how he was glad that he was okay, “... Marc, I-I’m so sorry!”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Marc murmured, “it’s okay.”

“No! I should’ve listened to you, but when I saw what Louis did, I-I just-”

Marc cupped Nathaniel’s face in his hands, then kissed his forehead, “You only wanted to protect me, Nath.”

Ladybug smiled, “Marc’s right, Nathaniel. This was Hawkmoth’s doing, not yours.” She wanted to say more, but hers’ and Chat’s Miraculous beeped. They only had three minutes left, “We gotta go now. Bug out!” She and Chat Noir ran out of the museum to find a place to detransform

—

“Well, if it isn’t Painbow.”

Don’t do anything. Don’t pay any attention to him. Nathaniel thought to himself, trying to stay calm, not wanting to become Akumatized again, “Is that supposed to upset me or something? Not the first time I’ve been Akumatized.”

“Well, look at you.” Louis said mockingly, “I guess without your precious Rainbow, you finally grew a spine.”

Don’t do anything. Don’t do anything.

“Screw off, Kress!” A familiar voice shouted. Nathaniel looked at saw Marc, standing behind Louis with his arms crossed, “Need I remind you that you’re part of the reason he got Akumatized?” He walked passed Louis, making sure to bump him with his shoulder, then he took Nathaniel’s hand in his and the two walked to art club

“Yeah, that’s right! Run away, ya pussies!”

“What do you think we’re doing?!”, Marc yelled back

“I’ll be waiting for you outside, Anciel! Your boy toy can’t protect you forever!”, he raised an eyebrow as someone tapped him on the shoulder

Ahem

He turned around, and was met with Alix’s fist nailing him in the face. He fell to the floor with a thud and held his hands over his face in pain as Alix and Marinette stood over him

Marinette glared down at him, “Next time you think about insulting someone for their preferences, remember this.”

“Totally worth the detention I’m getting.” Alix said with a smirk

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #Painbow #akuma nathaniel #Akuma #marcthaniel #marc x nathaniel #rainbow tomato #miraculous sugar #alix sugar #Alix ships it #Nathaniel calls Marc Rainbow #fanfic request #Akuma class

43 notes · View notes

sxveme-2 · 3 years

Text

blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Unedited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Twenty Nine: The One With the Weeks After

Warnings: Weight loss

Word Count: 2135

The first week was the easiest. She busied herself with work, made sure to tell Hunter everything and keep him in the loop. Cleaned the house until there was nothing left. At night she'd scrub the floors until her fingers bled. She'd go to bed around 2 in the morning every night. Rose tried to get her to go earlier, but she knew that Lily needed a bit. Needed time to process the end of the relationship she thought was the one. The one that would fix what had been done to her all those years ago.

Things declined over the following month. The hospital made Lily take stress leave. She stopped eating normally, and would simply make Hunter breakfast before returning to her office to force herself into working on letters she knew wouldn't help her case. Lily kept herself distracted also by helping Rose search for apartments for when her baby came, and Gen revamp the menu for her cafe.

When the first of May came around, Lily knew she had broken herself that day she told him to get out. And now, she sat in her bed as the clock struck 3am, Joey snoring softly at the end of the bed. In her hands she gripped onto the letters he had written her, gripping them to the point she was sure they'd rip. Her tears stained them, smearing the ink as she stared at his words.

-----

"Lily please," his voice broke as he stood from the couch, walking towards the blonde, "Please don't do this."

"You made me a promise, Bucky," Lily whispered, taking a step back from the advancing man, "and I can't handle it. You know for a fact that you're not done with this life."

"I am, baby please," he whispered, halting his steps a meter or so away from her, "I'm done with it all."

"I'll have your stuff dropped off at your apartment," Lily stated, her voice shaking as she dropped her keys onto the half wall, turning her back to the Avenger and taking a few steps up the stairs, "Goodbye, Bucky."

-----

A choked sob racked through her chest as Lily balled up the paper and chucked it at the mirror across from her bed. Her eyes wandered from the paper on the floor upwards, staring at herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were hollow and hair wiry. Her collarbones seemed more prominent and her chest heaved as she struggled to bring air into her lungs. On her chest still sat that damn necklace. The one she tried to take off but could never manage to. It sat against her sunken chest, shining bright against her shallow skin.

She remembered the mornings she'd wake up to him leaning over her, fingers wrapped around the silver pendent, admiring it against her supple skin of the good times. Now it just sat there like a jail sentence. Because she knew there would be no moving on from him. His touch, his smell, his words. The way he would hold her.

She longed for the feeling of his hair between her fingers. His breath against her cheek. His head ducked into her neck as she admired him as he slept peacefully at ungodly hours of the night. His smile. His eyes. The stubble on his chin.

Lily remembered the day she wished that she could sit in his lap and trim it. Months later she lived that same fantasy. Him chuckling as she scrunched her nose and intently focused on the harder to reach areas. The rumble deep in his chest vibrating through her like a warm blanket being draped onto her shoulders. How his arms draped along her thighs and fingers traced circles on her hips.

He was gone though. And Lily didn't have the strength to fight for him back.

-----

"Hey what do you want for your birthday, Lil?" Gen asked as she finished cleaning up the table from dinner, sending Hunter off to play outside with the neighbourhood kids.

"Nothing." Lily shrugged, finishing drying off a cup as she avoided her best friends pointed gaze.

"A new necklace, perhaps?" Gen tested, dancing carefully along Lily's guarded mind.

"I have a necklace." She stated simply, placing the rest of the dishes in their respective cupboards before drying her hands.

"Well your birthdays in three days and I'm not getting you nothing," Gen continued, taking a few steps closer to the blonde, "Can I at least offer to cook you dinner at the cafe?"

"Sounds good to me." Lily nodded, closing the cupboards and walking past Gen, shutting the door to her office and slumping into her desk chair.

-----

Lily stared down at the stack of letters that sat on her desk. It was May 2nd, two days from her birthday. Her birthday present to herself was something she read online. Write letters to your past love and then burn or bury them, to cut the ties. She wasn't sure if she would go through with it. She didn't want to burn the memories of him. They hurt her, but she cherished them. She never wanted to forget him, but she had convinced herself she had to in order for her to find true happiness. Or so the blog she read said.

"April 10th

It's been a week since I said goodbye to you. The words still feel foreign to me. It's weird waking up without you by my side. I can't believe I'm saying it but I miss your snoring. Miss your bedhead.

Hunter knows what happened. He's heartbroken, but I don't think he'll show it very much. Moreso for my sake than his own. I don't blame him. I'm sure he sees the same broken mother he saw all those years ago.

But this one hurts a bit more. Because you were supposed to be the one. I thought you were the one. I still think you are. And I loved you.

I love you"

She traced the tears stains that marked the paper. Her fingers grazing gently over the final three words. Three words she was too much of a coward to properly say. Instead, she made him guess them. Made him say them first in the same format. Writing. Three words she couldn't say, now permanently on paper. Lily's hands shook as she put the first page down, picking up the one just beneath it.

"April 15th,

Hunter asked me if I was okay today. The same way you used to. He put his hand on top of mine and let me stare down at my lap as I calculated my answer. His face reminds me of you. Soft and tender, but something always at work behind it. His eyes may be mine, but the thoughts behind it have become yours.

You always took the father figure role so seriously. I never understood why. I loved it, but it never truly made sense to me. He wasn't yours. But when I look at him now, I see more of him in you than I ever did Scott.

He may not have been yours through blood, but he is yours through heart. And he knows me inside and out, even when I feel like I don't know myself. My own thoughts betray me sometimes with Hunter. I feel like sometimes I say things to him because I long to talk to you.

He's your son, through and through. Even if DNA betrays that. But I took your son away from you. And I'm sorry. But I can't risk him."

Her fingers pinched the bridge of her nose, as though she thought it would stop the tears. A large ball formed in Lily's throat, and she wanted to scream and let it out, but she couldn't. Not with Hunter around. Not with Gen in the other room. Not with Rose so close to her own due date. She was mere weeks away from it, and here Lily sat, wallowing in her own self pity. Laying in the mess she made herself.

She picked up the third letter.

"April 25th,

I thought it would get easier over time. That the hurt would heal itself at some point. But as I sat at my desk today, I knew it wouldn't go away. It may numb, it may become distant, but there will always be an open space where you used to be.

Rose told me that I should consider therapy, perhaps. But I'm not sure talking about the love I feel for you is possible. The sheer strength of it is something that terrifies me. I'm scared that voicing it will make it stronger.

You took over every part of me. Your smell, your words, you. Every morning I would wake up feeling happy to face another day, because you were there. Whether beside me or just in the city. You were there. And you were mine. But now, you're not. You may already be someone else's for all I know. I haven't dared ask Sam or anyone.

I don't think I'd survive hearing that.

Knowing that you're giving yourself to someone else the same way you gave yourself to me. Knowing that they return the same things I still feel for you. The same feelings that I couldn't voice to you.

But who am I to be upset? I'm the one who ended it. I'm the one who said goodbye, and turned my back without a second thought plaguing my mind until it was too late.

It's still too late."

Staring at her words, Lily slammed her hand down onto the light wood of her desk. She did this. It was her own fault that he was gone. Because when Lily asked something, he always listened. But the one time he asked her to listen to him, she threw him out. She said goodbye. She let him walk out because she was too stubborn to just listen.

Pulling the cap of her pen off, Lily pulled out a few pieces of paper. Her hand shook violently as she signed the date at the top, before pouring out everything she was always too scared to say onto the paper.

-----

May 3rd rolled around mere hours later. Lily sat in her bed once again as the clock struck 2, and she stared at herself in her mirror. Eyes swollen, glasses crooked, face fallen. Her entire body seemed to be falling at once. Her chest was fallen, her shoulders frail. Her skin seemed lifeless. She was merely existing at this point. She still was a mother, she cooked, cleaned, and talked to Hunter. But when the door closed in her room for the night, her body fell into a droop. She shuffled to her bed without bothering to worry about her makeup, if she even decided to do any recently. Nothing about Lily was herself. She had become a husk. Simply a vessel to walk her head and heart around from room to room.

She missed him so much. She wanted him back. God, Lily would do anything to have him back right now. To open her eyes and see him lying in her bed with that same lazy smirk on his face. But when she did, there was no one in her bed. Just herself.

Her fingers dialled the number before she knew exactly who she was calling. Before she realized what this could do.

"Hello?" His groggy voice whispered into the phone.

"Hi...It's Lily."

"Lily it's 2 in the morning."

"I know...I know," she whispered, biting on the tips of her nails, "I just need to know..."

"Know what?"

"Is he okay?"

Sam let out a whisper of a sigh, and she knew the answer before he even spoke again. It didn't relieve her. It hurt her more than anything. Knowing that she had caused it.

"He's a damn trainwreck, Lil," Sam answered, "He's always been the brooding type but there's something different now."

Lily placed her forehead into her hand, "Has he said anything?"

"He's lost a part of himself," Sam responded, the noise of shifting blankets echoing behind his voice, "You were something I can't even explain to him Lily. There's still a part of him with you."

She ended the call before he heard her lose it.

-----

Rose took Hunter for the day. Lily could barely move in her bed the morning after she called Sam. Her eyes felt dry and heavy. Whenever she moved, a part of her screamed out for him. She felt so empty and just so...alone. Now that he was gone. But she wanted him back so badly her throat yelled out at her to tell him.

Call him, her mind said, tell him what you're thinking.

But she couldn't.

Because she already said goodbye.

7 notes · View notes

jawritter · 4 years

Text

Secrets....

**Warnings!!** Smut!! Unprotected sex, cheating Jensen, Language, some angst, fluff.... I think that's it..

A/n:as usual all mistakes are my own! If you want to be added to my tag list let me know!! Feedback appreciated!

Pairing:Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 2476?

Cross posted on Wattpad

---------------------------------------------------

Just like you'd done thousands of times over the years, you stepped out of the airport terminal into the cool early morning air that no matter the time of year always seemed to take you by surprise. It was such a contrast from the morning Texas air you'd left behind.

You pull your ball cap down a little lower on your face and pull the jacket that still smells like him around you tighter as you scan the line of cars, looking for the familiar black SUV to pull up and collect you, just like it had done thousands of times before over the last five years.

Getting your phone out of your pocket you text Jensen.

I'm here.

Not five minutes later the black SUV pulls up and stops in front of you. You grab your bag that was laying at your feet. Opening the back door you climb into the welcoming warm air of the SUV. Cliff nodded at you shortly. You nodded back. You had hoped that Jensen would be here to pick you up with him.

People always talk about the other woman like she's just some home wreaking trash. That she's some gold digger that just wants the man's money, or whatever he could get for her.

For you though. That wasn't true. See you'd been the other woman for five years now. Living in secret, traveling a day behind Jensen when he would have to fly to conventions, or back and forth from Texas and Vancouver; so that the two of you wouldn't get caught.

Jensen would always have a hotel waiting for you if it was a convention. In Texas you had an apartment less than five miles from his house. No one knew that though. Everyone in your building just assumed that you were an intern that worked from home. Doing writing transcripts for a local Texas publishing company. Which you did do on the side. You never took a dime form Jensen to support yourself. Even though he would leave money for you. Even after you told him to stop. You didn't do this because of the money.

In Vancouver you stayed with Jensen at his apartment unless his wife was due to come with the children, or if she was just coming in general. Which was so rare that it never was a problem. The only problem you had was hiding form Jared.

The only soul alive that knew about you and Jensen was Cliff, and Jensen had sworn him to secrecy, which so far he'd kept. Jared had almost caught you though once. Being able to quickly think on your feet you lied to Jared and told him that Jensen had hired you to clean his apartment for him. Thank God he believed you.

You had no social media, no real friends or outside contact. That's the way it had to be. Not that Jensen said it had to be that way. You did. So that you could protect him. If someone found out about the long on going affair you two had, it would hurt his career. He'd worked to hard to lose it all over you. You just wouldn't allow it.

It wasn't fun living this way, but in your mind it was worth it.

You loved Jensen, and he loved you. There was not a shadow of a doubt in your mind that he did. He wanted to be where ever he was. Which explains why you always traveled a day behind him to catch up with him.

Your phone buzzed in your hand and you looked down to see a text from him.

Sorry baby girl I had to work later tonight than was planned. I'll be home before you get there though. Love you.

Taking a deep breath you looked at your window. Watching Vancouver fly by in a blur of lights and misty rain. You where ready to get to him. Even though it had been less than 48 hours sense you'd woken up in his arms back in Texas.

You spent more time with him than his 'wife' did. When he was sick in Vancouver or Texas he called you. When he was upset or needed something. He called you. You played the roll that she never would step up to the plate and except.

For five years Jensen and yourself had been successful in keeping your secret from everyone else, but Jensen resolve was starting to waiver. Your mind going back to the conversation you two had just had in Austin as you laid your keys on the counter of the apartment that the two of you shared in Vancouver. Walking over to the refrigerator and pulling out what you needed for Jensen's supper tonight.

"I'm tired of doing this baby. I'm tired of having to hide you from everyone. I'm tired of having to hide us. I'm tired of having to tolerate Danneel in public places. I'm just done." Jensen said on the other end of the phone that you where holding to your ear as you packed your bags to fly to Vancouver in two days. He'd just left your apartment and was already hid in a storage closet calling you. No doubt Danneel had already done something to set him off.

"Supernatural only has one more season to go babe. Don't mess this up. It's almost over. I your tired of it. Just a little longer. Than we can be together without all the drama. Remember you put 14 years of work into this. You don't want to mess it up now."

You had that conversation with Jensen more times than you really cared to admit. You knew that he was getting pretty fed up with Danneel and her mess. Both of you knew she'd been sleeping with Jensen's friend Steve long before Jensen found you, but she'd used JJ to trap him in the marriage so she could keep her lavish lifestyle.

You where different. You didn't want to be in the spotlight. You where happy living with very little really. As long as you had Jensen and the two of you where together that's all that really mattered to you.

You flipped the oven on and placed Jensen's dinner inside to finish cooking. You walked over to the TV in the living room and turned it on. Flipping through the channels ideally until Jensen's face came across the TV screen. It was an interview that he and Jared where doing for Entertainment tonight.

Settling down watching him you couldn't be more proud of what he'd accomplished. Even though you knew all these last where hard on him. Like comic con had been. Everything seemed to be going well on the interview. The boys going through the motions like they'd gotten so accustom to doing. Until Jensen reached up with his left and ran it down his face.

His wedding ring wasn't present. You sit there frozen. You knew that you weren't the only one that was going to notice that.

Picking up your phone you did what you never did. Googled. Sure enough there it was rumors of Jensen and Danneel's marriage troubles. You at there staring at your phone. Remembering the conversation that the two of you had before he went to leave for the awards show.

"I'm not hiding it anymore baby. I'm done. I don't care what people say. My personal life shouldn't effect my job. Hell if they are such big fans then they should support me. Not judge me because I've filed for Divorce." Jensen said. His voice stranded with stress.

"Jensen. Did you just say that you've filed for a divorce." You said. You heart hammering hard in your chest. You wanted more than anything to be with him with all the secrets, but you loved him enough not to want him to lose anything either. He had kids to think about after all.. That's something you couldn't give him.

"No, I haven't filed yet. I'm calling my lawyer though when I get back to Vancouver."

You heard the keys in the door and stood up the phone still in your hand to meet Jensen when he came in. You where more than ready to wrap your arms around him. You didn't know what he'd done exactly, but you where pretty sure you where about to find out.

"Hey, How was your flight?" He said. Wrapping you in a bone crushing hug. You missed this. Feeling his arms around you. The way he'd always brush is lips over your jawline before bringing your lips to his. Kissing you slowly. Enjoying the feeling of you on his lips.

When you where finally able to think straight you looked at him. Trying to evaluate his state of mind before you brought up the subject of his missing wedding ring. That wasn't even present now.

"It was fine. We need to talk though." Before you could finish the your statement though he brought his hands up to the side of your face and kissed you to stop you. "Shh. I know what your going to say, and it's to late. I've filed for Divorce before I left the states."

You stood there with your jaw on the floor. Not able to move. "Jensen! Are you sure about this?"

He didn't answer you. Just pulled you in closer to him if that was possible. "It was time. She was caught kissing Steve at a bar in Austin. So I took my chance. We're still going to have to lay low for a little while. So that people don't figure out how long you and I have been together, but the end is in sight. This is almost over." He said. Leaning in. Kissing you deeply, passionately. Needy.

Picking you up and carrying you to the bedroom of your apartment. Laying you down carefully on the bed. Your body buzzing under his touch as he laid you there under him. His body hovering over yours. His hands roaming over ever part of you. Exploring all the places he's missed the most.

Kissing your jaw line. Your neck. The sensitive skin at your pulse point. Biting lightly at your shoulders as he rid you of your shirt and bra quickly.

"God I missed you." He said in a husky voice. Making a shiver run down your spine.

"Jay it's only been two days." You say with a slight giggle.

"That's two days to long." He said. Quickly ridding you of the rest of your cloths. Then himself.

His hands roamed over your body as he kissed your drunk. Making your head spin. Man this guy had an effect on you that you just didn't really understand. Skipping the foreplay completely you gasp in shock as he slid his thick length into you and stilled there.

Looking you deep in the eyes. His own eyes hooded and lust blown. You loved seeing him this way.

Slowly he started to rock himself above you. Never pulling himself completely from you. "You've been so patient with me and I didn't deserve it." He said. His voice deep and rough. "I love you, and I'm going to do right by you baby I promise. I'm going to make up for these past five years."

Reaching over into the nightstand drawer he stilled above you for a moment then hiding something form you he quickly distracted you by pulling his full length out of you then siding back in quickly. Picking up his pace with each thrust. Driving you both quickly toward the edge. Both of you a moaning mess as he pushes you both to your finish. Laying he head down on your shoulder thrusting deep inside. Kissing your neck and shoulders softly.

You feel him messing with your hand, but you didn't pay it that much mind. You mind was pretty else where occupied with the white hot not forming in your stomach as you pulsed around his length. Bringing a deep groan from him as he spilled deep inside of you. Lazily thrusting into you. Dragging out the high for the two of you.

Finally stilling above you and sliding himself from you. You whimper at the lose of contact.

Rolling onto his side he pulls you close to his shoulder. Wrapping you tightly in his arms. He starts kissing your left shoulder. Working his way down your arm. Stopping at the ring that wasn't on your hand a few moments ago.

You look from him, to you hand. He smiled at you. A look on his face you didn't quite recognize. "Baby I love you, I have sense the moment I meet you. You put up with more from me than anyone I've ever thought would. You put me first, even when I know it was hard to live this way, and got tired you never complained. I should have done this a long time ago, but I can't live without you. Now with what was blocking up out of the way, baby will you do the honor of being my wife."

You sat there for a moment looking at him like you'd been slapped in the face. You didn't see that coming at all! "Baby say something." You couldn't say anything as tears fell from your eyes. Your heart felt like it was going to explode. You reached up and crashed your lips to his. His tongue rolling over you with ease.

"Yes." You whispered to him when you both finally had to break for air.

All the years of living in secret. All the times you had to be separated when you really wanted to be wrapped in his arms. All those times that you had to watch and he had to act like he was still in love with her. Finally. It was all over. Finally you were going to be together.

You knew people where still going to talk. You knew that word was going to get out now. There was nothing either of you could do about it, but you also didn't care. You where his and he was yours, ONLY yours, and that was all that would ever matter.

Tag list:

@deanwanddamons

#jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles drabble #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles #jensen's girls #Smut #jensen ackles smut #dean winchester birthday fanfiction #dean winchester smut #spn smut #spn 15 #spn fanficiton #spnfanfiction #spn #spn drabble #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #jensen x reader #Cheating Jensen

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snowdice · 4 years

Text

Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 15]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag proofread stories. I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

I have another fic to edit today! :)

Chapter 5

Virgil sat as still as he could in the dark space he’d been put in. He could feel the warning tingle of the binding magic at his wrists telling him not to move too much or else. He was just lucky that they’d chosen to use metal instead of cloth to apply the potion and that he’d been unconscious until it dried. He knew from experience that there was no escaping the pain that type of potion brought until it dried no matter how still you were. Now, at least, if he didn’t try to struggle against his binding it wouldn’t hurt him. It sucked because all he wanted to do was move. He wanted to struggle and pull against the binding at his wrist, but he couldn’t. Even if it wouldn’t put him in crippling amounts of pain, he’d still not be able to get away.

So, instead he just shook. He was such a fuck up. He couldn’t even remember the right room and now he was going to die. No, he was probably going to be tortured and then he was going to die. His breath came quicker and quicker the longer he remained in the closet. He’d tried to murder their king. He’d come into their prince’s bedroom in the middle of the night wielding a knife. There was no way he wasn’t going to be made to suffer for that. It didn’t matter how gently the prince and his… person had treated him so far.

He heard the muffled sounds of people approaching the closet and curled into himself. Oh, god he was going to die. He had been breathing quickly, but now he couldn’t breathe at all. It felt like someone had poured tar into his lungs. The closet door opened, and he flinched, curled into a ball and choking on nothing.

“Hey, hey,” a familiar voice said. Patton, Virgil’s mind offered: the other guy with the prince. When Virgil managed to flick his eyes open, he saw Patton had gotten to his knees in front of him. He dully noted that the boy had reached out and touched his shoulder. “Oh sweetie, I’m sorry. Can you breathe for me?”

What was the point? He wondered, but after a few moments, he managed to suck in a couple of breaths.

When he managed to calm enough to look around, he noticed that instead of there being a bunch of castle guards standing around waiting to drag him off to some dungeon, it was just the prince and Patton again. He blinked up at them in confusion.

“There’s been a change of plans,” the prince explained.

“What?” Virgil asked dumbly. “What do you mean?”

“My father is going to be away for the next three weeks,” the prince said. “Considering you didn’t kill the guards and your only targets seems to be my father and perhaps myself, you are likely not a real danger to anyone if you escape and I’m willing to take the risk with myself. With that in mind, Patton and I have decided not to turn you in yet.”

Well what the hell did that mean? Was that good or bad? On one hand, it meant that he wouldn’t be executed yet, but what exactly did the prince want with him?

As Virgil began to freak out about the possibilities, the prince continued to speak, seemingly more to himself than to Virgil or Patton.

“We will need to figure out how to care for you in the interim. We’ll have to provide you with more food than just snacks as well as find you a place to sleep. At least one of us will have to be with you at all times, and with Father gone, I’ll have to attend to some royal duties. Luckily it isn’t strange for Patton to come into my quarters at will.” He considered Virgil with discerning eyes. “Also, your general health seems to be lacking, so I’ll have to account for preexisting conditions. First thing, first though. I imagine keeping you in those bracelets all the time would be impractical. We’ll need another solution, especially for sleep.”

Virgil did not like the sound of that. He assumed based on what the prince had done so far that he’d enact some sort of magical bondage. From Virgil’s experience, magical bondage ranged from unpleasant to legitimately agonizing.

“Patton, if you will watch him for the time being, I need to go work on a more precise binding potion then the one I’ve been using.”

“Sure,” Patton agreed, but the prince was wondering away before he’d even finished the word. Patton shook his head fondly before turning back to Virgil. “Wanna come out of the closet now?”

He really, really didn’t, but he was pretty sure he didn’t have a choice in the matter. He curled his legs into himself as much as he could and waited to be dragged out into the room, but he wasn’t touched.

“Okay,” Patton said. “That’s fine. It’s a pretty nice closet.” Virgil said nothing but did breathe a sigh of relief about being able to stay. It wasn’t very rational because in actuality he was no safer here than anywhere else in the room, but the closet felt more defensible even if they could drag him out of it whenever they wanted.

Patton seemed content to sit outside the closet and leave him in peace for the moment. A few minutes later Patton made a sound and Virgil looked over to see him yawn. He smiled when he saw Virgil watching. “It was a long night for all of us, I imagine,” he said. “Hmm… actually. Wait there.”

Like he could go anywhere else. He couldn’t get a good enough angle to see what Patton was doing, but he could here him moving around the room and rustling through a few things. He came back into view holding a comical number of pillows and blankets.

“Here,” Patton said. He offered Virgil one of the blankets and then seemed to remember that Virgil could not reach out to take it. “Hmm…” He spread out the blanket next to Virgil. “Do you mind if I touch you?”

“Why are you even asking?” Virgil asked. “You can do whatever you want with me.”

Patton frowned and Virgil scrunched into himself at the expression, but it lightened the next moment. “I know it’s a bit of a bad situation and you are technically a prisoner, but I don’t want to hurt you or make you feel bad,” Patton said.

Virgil didn’t know how to respond to that. There was no way that it wasn’t some sort of trick, but he didn’t dare outright say that he thought that.

“Can I touch you a bit?” Patton asked once again. “Just to help you get onto the blanket.”

“Sure,” Virgil agreed.

The other boy smiled sweetly and grabbed his wrists with gentle fingers. Virgil let his whole body follow Patton’s guidance until he was situated rather comfortably on an unbelievably soft blanket.

“Head,” Patton said, holding up a pillow. Virgil lifted his head slightly and the pillow was shoved underneath it.

Another blanket was settled over him the next. Patton was weird. “There you go!” Patton said. “Now you can take a nap.”

Virgil blinked up at him in confusion. That was… not happening. What exactly about this situation did Patton think was conducive to sleep?

“…Or rest comfortably at least,” Patton said after a moment. He arranged a pillow and blanket for himself and laid on his side, so he was facing Virgil. He yawned slightly again but didn’t close his eyes. They stared at each other for an uncomfortably long moment.

“What are we doing?” Virgil finally asked when he realized Patton was not planning to ever break the awkward silence.

“We’re resting,” Patton said, “and hanging out.”

“Hanging out?” Virgil asked.

“Mmm, yeah,” Patton said popping up onto his elbow to peer at him. “Let’s talk some! We can get to know each other.”

Virgil looked at him suspicious about where this was going. “Talk about what?” he asked, eyes narrowed.

Patton hummed a quiet tune and his fingers tapped against the side of his face as he wiggled a bit back and forth. “Do you like cats?”

“Cats?” Virgil asked. “Uh… sure?”

“I love cats,” Patton divulged. “There are a lot of cats in the castle. Not all of them like people very much, but I like to try to pet them! I even made up a game where I get points for every cat that lets me pet it. The grumpier they are, the more points I get!”

“You… try to pet wild cats?” Virgil asked.

“Uh huh!”

Virgil thought back to the few untamed cats he’d met in his life. “Don’t they… try to murder you.”

“Sometimes,” Patton said with a shrug. He moved his arm suddenly and Virgil startled, but he just rolled down his sleeve so Virgil could see a large, fairly fresh-looking scratch on his arm. “This one’s from Mr. Calico Man. He does not like his ears touched apparently, but he will let me give him chin scratchies!”

This boy was insane.

“I think I’ve pet every single cat in the castle at least once, except for Ghost Kitty.”

“Who is Ghost Kitty?”

“Oh, Ghost Kitty is the prettiest thing in the world,” Patton gushed. “She hangs out in the gardens a lot, but no one ever can get anywhere near it. She’s completely black and only started showing up about a year ago. I can’t even see her for more than 2 seconds at a time let alone try to pet her, but I will some day and on that day, I’ll get 1,000 points!”

“How many points are they usually?”

“For ones like Mittens and Cleo who I’ve known since they were babies, only 1. For Sandra it’s 5 since she can get a bit tetchy, but usually won’t run away. Lily Flower and Red Hot like to run away, but won’t try to scratch me if I do catch them so they’re 10. Ones like Mr. Calico Man are worth 100.”

“So, you are going to try to pet a cat that is 10x more feral than the one that slashed your arm?”

“She’s so pretty!”

“You have no survival instincts whatsoever, do you?” Virgil asked.

Patton smiled wryly at him. “I apparently have a couple,” he said.

Virgil blinked at him and thought back, connecting the dots. Only Patton and the prince knew he was here, and the prince had been in front of him when he’d came into the room… “You were the one to knock me unconscious,” he concluded.

“I’d say sorry, but you were coming in here with the intention of hurting someone I care about,” Patton said with a shrug.

Right. Virgil had almost forgotten amongst his soft tone and gentle countenance that the man laying docilly next to him definitely hated his guts, and would probably relish in whatever the prince had planned for him.

Virgil let his fists clench, but otherwise didn’t let onto his distress at the thought as Patton softly brought the conversation back to the previous topic and continued to ramble on about the different cats of the castle.

Chapter 6

Virgil had started to feign sleep about an hour after Logan had left to his potions lab. Patton could tell because his arms never relaxed. Patton kept talking to him in soft tones even though he was no longer responding.

He seemed exhausted, but he was also clearly not planning to sleep any time soon. Patton wondered what had led up to him being here both recently which had caused the dark circles under his eyes and long term that had caused the sunkenness of his cheeks.

Patton’s stomach growled reminding him of the passage of time. He had no idea how long whatever Logan was doing was going to take, but someone was going to have to go to the kitchen and get some breakfast soon. The snacks truly had not been enough to hold them through the night.

He felt secure enough even knowing Virgil wasn’t actually sleeping to push himself to his feet and walk over to the potions lab door. “Hey Lo,” Patton called. Virgil still hadn’t moved to indicate he was still awake.

“Yes?” he asked.

“How long are you going to take? I need to get food soon and maybe come up with an excuse for at least one of us to stay here all day.”

“It’ll be a little while longer,” Logan said.

Patton glanced back at Virgil. He caught the boy with his eyes open this time and saw him wince at being caught. “Maybe Virgil can stay in there with you well I go get things?”

“That would be fine,” Logan said, turning back to what he was working on. “Bring him in here if you’d like.”

“Okie dokie,” Patton chirped. He turned to Virgil who was looking up at him. “I’m going to take your arms and lead you to the other room, okay?”

He nodded and Patton leaned down and grabbed his wrists. He went tenser somehow when Patton moved his arms to his front and Patton frowned, but didn’t comment. He helped him get to his feet and led him into the other room.

“You can seat him over there,” Logan said pointing.

Virgil was looking around the room with wide eyes and Patton had to stop and think about what this room might look like to someone who hadn’t been enthusiastically introduced to every new potion ingredient and piece of equipment as they arrived. There were shelves of ingredients, all organized and labeled. He kept all powders in uniform glass vials and liquids in bulbous containers. Whole dried herbs hung from strings in one area and there were containers of fresh ones glowing a soft green; the preservation spells that Logan came up with himself kept them fresh for months longer than they would usually last.

Logan had three separate areas for potion making. There was one space for potions that required more dangerous ingredients which currently had something simmering at it, but the enchanted protective curtain wasn’t drawn around it, so Patton imagined it must not be doing anything that could be too harmful at the moment. The table he used for experiments was empty and thoroughly cleaned so he was clearly making something with an already well-established recipe. Currently, he was standing at his table reserved only for non-harmful substances. He was chopping up what appeared to be mint as two smaller pots boiled in front of him.

Patton led Virgil over to the indicated chair which was out of the way of even the non-dangerous ingredient zone. He still seemed to be trying to take in the room as Patton settled his wrists on the chair armrests.

“Any requests?” he asked Logan.

“Not really,” Logan replied. He glanced up at Patton. “Though if you can sneak me some of the leftover macaroni salad from dinner, that would be appreciated.”

“That’s not breakfast!” Patton chided.

“Which is why I requested that you to sneak it.”

Patton shook his head and turned back to Virgil. “What about you?” he asked.

He looked up at Patton and shook his head. Virgil looked a bit scared and out-of-sorts. He wanted to reach forward and pat him on the head or kiss his cheek to comfort him, but he imagined that would go over worse than badly. Instead, he flashed the boy a quick smile and then turned to leave the room.

He left Logan’s private chambers and closed the door behind him before walking down the hall.

“Good morning Patton,” one of the stationed guards greeted.

He smiled at her and the other guard. “Good morning Kalani. Hi Owen.”

“I see you and the prince had a sleepover,” Kalani said. “Should we be planning on him not making it to his royal duties until later today?”

“Actually,” said Patton. “Maybe all day. He was feeling a little sick. Had a headache.” It was… probably true. They hadn’t slept a wink last night.

“Hmm,” Kalani said. “Maybe there is something going around. Clover said she had a bit of a dizzy spell last night.”

“Oh,” Patton answered. Clover had been one of the two guards set to watch the door to the royal wing. At least Virgil had been telling the truth about not hurting anyone.

9783

“I hope she feels better. I’m going to go get Logan something to eat for breakfast since he can’t come himself, so I’ll see you again in a few minutes.”

The guards nodded to him and he turned to walk down the hall. The areas around the kitchens would be pretty busy at this point in the morning so instead of taking any of the busier paths to it, he walked past the dinning hall towards the guest hall and took the staircase that led straight outside. It was a longer path because he had to go around and through the garden, but it was worth not getting in anyone’s way.

Patton always did like the garden. It was pretty at every time of year. Even now as the flowers started to get sparser in the fall, it was still wonderful, and it smelt great. He took just the briefest moment to himself to splash a hand through one of the fountains with a giggle. He turned away to continue on his path to the kitchen which is when he saw her.

“Oh,” he said softly. “Hi kitty.”

Ghost Kitty was there and stared at him briefly before taking off into one of the bushes.

“Bye kitty,” he said just as soft. He smiled even though she’d ran away because that was the closest, he’d ever gotten to her.

He continued his trek to the kitchen and snuck inside on quiet feet hoping to be unnoticed as he went for the chilled storage box. Luck was on his side because Mama was busy talking in hushed tones to the gardener, Mr. Deknis, as she peeled potatoes.

“Well certainly no one has joined the kitchen staff who has a child,” Mama said. “I’d know.”

“Perhaps a maid or even a guard,” Mr. Deknis suggested.

Mama was frowning. “We don’t usually hire many people towards winter for those positions. Maybe someone in the stables?”

“But he needed to get back to the castle, not to the stable hand’s lodging.”

“Well then,” Mama said. “I don’t know Jeff. I’ll ask around.”

Mr. Deknis sighed. “I should have asked him more questions, but the poor thing seemed ready to startle out of his boots, and I didn’t want to push.”

“Well if he’s new to the castle, he’s probably just a little out of sorts and nervous,” Mama reasoned.

“It didn’t seem like normal nervousness. He was…” Mr. Deknis shook his head. “Anyway, tell me if you figure anything out.”

“Of course,” Mama said.

“Also, your kid’s steeling macaroni salad for breakfast.”

“Patton!” Mama said, rounding on him. “That’s not breakfast!”

Patton shot a pout at Mr. Deknis, but he seemed unrepentant. Patton pulled his hand away from the macaroni salad. “The prince wanted it,” Patton said.

“That’s not breakfast for ‘the prince’ either.”

“But,” Patton argued, “he’s not feeling well.”

She placed her hands on her hips. “Is he not feeling well or is he tired?” she asked.

“…Both?”

“Mmhmm.”

“No! Seriously mom!” Patton said. “Kalani said that Clover wasn’t feeling well this morning and she sees Logan all the time. I even convinced Logan not to do any unnecessary royal duties today.”

“Well he must really be sick if that’s the case,” Mama admitted, “unless of course he found an interesting book to read or had an idea for a new potion.”

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“It’s not about a book or a potion,” Patton promised.

Mama considered him. “Fine,” she said, turning back towards the countertop. “Then give me a few minutes to make him and you a nutritious breakfast that doesn’t consist of 80% mayonnaise.”

“Pancakes?” Patton asked hopefully.

Mama shot him a look over her shoulder. “I said nutritious,” she said, wagging a finger at him. “Besides, I thought you said he was sick.”

“He’s not nauseous, mama,” Patton said. “And if you put blueberries in it, it’ll be healthy!”

“Mmhmm.”

“It will!”

“Now I know my own son doesn’t think I was born yesterday,” she said.

“Please mama,” he begged. “I promise we’ll both eat some other stuff too.”

“I don’t believe you.” Patton gave her a wobbly lip. “No,” she repeated.

“But Mama.”

“You and Logan are going to have a healthy breakfast or so help me…”

“… but Mama.”

Chapter 7

Logan placed a spoon in one of the boiling pots in front of him so he could get a better look at the liquid. It looked dark enough, but he leaned forward to taste it just to be sure. At the moment, it was basically just mint and lavender tea with a couple of extras. Satisfied with it, he slowly poured it into the slightly simmering larger pot in front of him and stirred it a few times clockwise. The pot glowed a soft purple when he took the spoon out.

He glanced into the other small pot and saw that the liquid there was starting to thicken. It wasn’t quite at the honey consistency he needed it to be yet, but it was on track.

Then he glanced up at his guest. Virgil had clearly been watching him but looked away quickly when Logan turned to him. Logan studied him for a few more moments. He looked almost sickly in the light of day, like he’d shatter in a stiff wind. Yet, somehow this was the assassin sent to kill a king? He was an enigma.

Logan turned his attention to the binding potion still simmering on the other table. Virgil cowered slightly as Logan walked by him to check on it. He certainly did startle easy. It was another piece to a concerning puzzle.

The binding potion was coming along well. He stirred it slowly a few times and carefully rinsed off the spoon, so it didn’t get anywhere he didn’t want it before laying it back down. He checked the open book next to it and compared the color to the chart in it. It would need at least an hour or so more before it could be used, but it would be a much better solution to the one that basically glued Virgil’s hands to a chair.

He walked back over to the other potion set up to start cleaning up his supplies.

He had some herbs that he hadn’t used and stuck a mint leaf in his mouth as he returned them to their correct containers. There was a small wedge of honeycomb left on the plate that he’d cut it on. Without even really thinking about it, he cut the honeycomb into to equal parts with the plan to offer half of it to the other presence in the room. He paused and looked up at said other presence who looked down at his lap quickly.

“Would you like half?” he asked. Virgil looked back up at him, hesitance in his eyes. “You can pick which half each of us eats,” Logan offered.

Virgil nodded slowly and Logan rounded the table with the plate. “Left or right?” Logan asked.

“…Left.”

Logan nodded and went ahead and stuck the right piece in his own mouth before offering the left piece. Virgil opened his mouth and Logan popped it into his mouth. Logan almost laughed at the expression that crossed his face as he started to chew. He imagined this is what people were talking about when they mentioned feeding babies different foods for the first time. His eyes went wide, and he blinked a couple of times before chewing a bit faster. Logan smiled at him and took the plate back around to the other side of the table.

The liquid in the second part had gotten thicker now and he stirred it carefully a few times before deciding it was finished. He then turned of the heat and quickly scrapped the sticky substance into the main pot. The purple liquid that had been in the pop slowly turned golden as he counted the number of times he stirred clockwise and then began to sparkle as he stirred it a few times counterclockwise. Once he was finished, he turned off the heat under the pot and wondered over to his case for empty jars. He grabbed one of the liter ones.

While he waited for the potion to cool, he measured out and marked the container with 30 careful lines. It did not need to be an exact intake every day which is why he didn’t bother with separate containers, but for maximum benefit it should generally be about 40ml for the first 10 days and 30ml after that. The lines should help them keep track.

He walked back over to the potion once that was done and placed a funnel into the opening so he could pour it into the container. It perhaps filled a bit more above the top like than 40ml but having a bit extra the first day wouldn’t harm him.

He looked to Virgil who was watching him with suddenly very wary eyes. He rounded the potions station and approached him slowly, hoping not to startle him when he already seemed rather skittish. “Okay, Virgil,” he said. “I’m going to need you to drink this. It’s a…”

“No.”

“W-what?”

“No,” his eyes were locked on the container in Logan’s hand and he shook his head back and forth. “Please no.”

“I assure you, it isn’t poison,” Logan said. “I will even test it myself.” Yet, he was acting differently than he had with the food. He’d begun to shake and cry as he continued to shake his head.

Oh dear. Logan grimaced and set down the potion. He glanced at the door very much hoping that Patton would come through it in the next few seconds, but he did not. “What is…” Logan said. “What is wrong?”

“Please don’t,” he said. “Please. Can’t. No.”

Logan wrung his hands and then went to his knees in front of the hyperventilating boy. He tried to place a comforting hand on his knee, but he flinched violently, and Logan removed his hand quickly. He dithered, unsure what to do as the boy continued to heave with sobs.

“I am not adept with discerning feelings. Please communicate with me verbally.”

He did not seem inclined to capitulate, making pitiful upset sounds that Logan could not determine the meanings of.

“Please, no, hurts.”

“You think it will hurt you?” Logan asked with a frown. “It won’t hurt you Virgil. The purpose of that potion is quite the opposite.”

He either did not hear Logan or did not register what he said. “Please,” he begged. “I’ll be good. I won’t even move. Please.”

Won’t move. Logan glanced over at the other potion still simmering at the other station. “Do you think this is a binding potion?” he asked. “Why on Earth would I be offering you a binding potion to drink?” Yet, Logan watched as he shook and cried, eyes not quite focused on Logan but on something else that wasn’t there. “Did,” Logan with dawning horror. “Did someone feed you a binding potion?”

Logan had once accidently gotten some of a binding potion he was making on his hand. It had stung like a thousand small bees had attacked one area of his skin, and it was only made worse by the fact that even that small amount had kept him trapped in place. Then, binding potions were sticky. They were difficult to remove. Even after the counter potion had been applied, he’d still felt a bit of an ache when he moved it for the next week or so. It’s why one was never supposed to apply it directly to a person’s skin.

Who would make someone drink that? Beyond the assured agony and full body paralysis, it could easily kill someone. If not cooked properly, it was literally poison and even if it was perfect, there was still the possibility that it would freeze a person’s lungs, heart, or any other number of internal organs. If someone had fed Virgil a binding potion (and while he was no expert on facial expressions, the one currently on his face made Logan sure that someone had) they had little regard for his life.

Logan tired his best to soften his expression and tone. “Hey Virgil,” he said. “It’s okay. I won’t force you to drink anything. It’s not a binding potion, but I won’t make you drink it anyway.”

It took him a bit to calm down, but finally his breaths started to even out. “Are you alright?” Logan asked.

Virgil nodded after a moment.

“Good.” He waited for a few minutes for Virgil to calm down even more before he said anything else. “I will not make you drink any potions,” Logan promised. “Though, if you wouldn’t mind, I would like to explain the option.”

He gave Logan a suspicious blink, but he didn’t seem inclined to have another fit at the sentiment.

“It is not a binding potion,” Logan started with. “I am making one for you, but I have no intention of having you consume it. What I was offering to you is medicinal. Both Patton and I noted that you seem unhealthy and likely malnourished. While nothing can reverse the effects of malnutrition completely, the potion I made would help prevent many future problems as well as let your body acclimate to a more nutritious diet easier.”

Virgil squinted at him. “Why?” he asked. “I’m your prisoner. Why would you want to help me?”

“You are my prisoner which means you are under my care,” Logan said. “I will not abide by your suffering if I can prevent it. That being said, if drinking the potion causes you undue mental distress, I will not force it upon you.”

Virgil studied him, eyes hard and suspicious, but his words were tentative when they came. “Does it hurt bad?” he asked.

“It doesn’t hurt at all,” Logan promised. “Allow me to demonstrate for you?” He nodded and stood to retrieve the potion.

Logan placed his thumb over the lid of the container and tilted it until he felt the liquid hit his skin. He pulled his hand away and showed Virgil the notable drops of liquid on his thumb before opening his mouth and clearly placing it on his tongue. “It mostly tastes like the honey I put in it,” he told him, “plus a bit of lavender and mint. It does have a slightly sour aftertaste, but overall, it’s fine. How about just a small amount to start and then you can decide if you want to drink the rest of the dose for the day?”

“Okay,” Virgil agreed.

“I’m going to put this bottle to your lips. You can take as little as you wish.” Virgil nodded and Logan leaned forward and pressed the container to his mouth. Virgil kept his lips firmly closed as Logan titled it up briefly before taking it away. Virgil’s tongue came out to swipe up a bit of the liquid on his lips. He seemed to brace himself as he waited for something to happen, but he calmed after a few moments.

“Oh,” he said. “That’s not bad.”

“It is not intended to be,” Logan said. “Would you be willing to drink a bit more?”

Chapter 8

Whatever the potion was that the prince had just given him made his mouth tingle slightly. It was not an unpleasant sensation. In fact, it was actually kind of nice, and it tasted pretty good though not as good as the honey he’d been offered earlier. It did, as Logan had said, have a bit of a sour taste under the sweet of the honey. Yet, the way it sort of warmed his tongue almost made up for that.

He bit his lip, wondering if he was making a mistake and having more than a taste would rip apart his insides, but still replied, “yes,” when Logan asked if he was willing to drink more.

“Okay,” Logan said, tapping his finger on the container in his hands. “I’d like you to drink about to this line today if you can, but you can go as slow as you like.”

Virgil nodded. “Okay.”

Logan offered the container again and this time Virgil opened his mouth for it slightly. Logan tilted it slow, letting Virgil control the pace. It was still slightly warm from being cooked, but there was a bit of unnatural warmness to it as well. It slid down his throat easily when he swallowed, and Virgil could feel it go to work the instant it hit his stomach.

Virgil paused and Logan let him. The warmth didn’t fade. Instead, it seemed to radiate out and through him. He opened his lips again and Logan tilted a bit more of the liquid into his mouth. He drank until Logan pulled the container away and looked at the level of the liquid. Seeming to be satisfied with how much Virgil had drank, Logan capped the container and moved away.

“You should drink a little bit more each day until this is empty,” Logan said.

“O-okay,” Virgil agreed. The effects of the potion hadn’t faded. There was a pleasant, warm buzzing all over his skin at this point.

It seemed to congregate where he knew there were still a few leftover bruises on his back fizzling there slightly under the skin. He let out a breath and felt his head slightly droop, suddenly felling very sleepy.

Logan turned back to him and seemed to notice. “Apologies,” Logan said, “I did forget to mention that it has a general healing potion in it as well. If you were at all injured and it needed to activate, you may feel some drowsiness. Though it should in no way be enough to force you asleep if you do not wish it.”

12766

A potion with a sleeping agent sounded like something Virgil should be concerned about, he thought, but he couldn’t quite manage to summon any anxiety over it for once. He felt himself list a bit to the side.

“…Of course,” Logan continued. “I did not account for the fact that I have no idea when you last slept, and you are also likely suffering from an adrenaline crash considering your panic a few minutes ago.”

Those… sounded… like… words?

“Oh dear,” Logan said. “Let’s not fall asleep in the chair.” He felt Logan hovering over him and squinted up at him.

“I’m going to touch you now, alright?” Logan asked. Everything felt kind of floaty and he felt warm but not too hot all over, like he’d fallen asleep at the exact right distance from a fire. His eyes slipped shut and he couldn’t quite recall why that made a bit of panic shoot up his spine. Said panic was dulled immediately by the crashing waves of exhaustion and a comforting lack of pain anyway. “…Virgil?”

“Mmmph.” The identity of the speaker didn’t quite stick anymore, but it didn’t sound mad so it was probably fine.

“...I will take that as consent.” Gentle hands pushed him back up into a sitting position where he had been listing to the side and then Virgil’s wrists were grabbed. Virgil confusedly staggered to his feet when he was pulled up and immediately stumbled into something warm. He decided to lean against it. Leaning against it sounded good.

“When is the last time you slept, Virgil?” The voice rumbling from the warm thing supporting Virgil’s weight registered as chiding, but there didn’t seem to be any danger coming from it. He was given a soft push and he tripped in that direction. A warm band went around his waist to steady him and then pulled him forward. Virgil allowed himself to be guided, leaning heavily against the warmth next to him. He was stopped after an unknown amount of walking. “I’m going to have to put you in the closet again for now since I have to keep watch over the binding potion. However, it seems as though Patton has already constructed a comfortable enough sleeping area there anyway.”

“Mmmnum.”

“Would you lay down for me?” Laying down sounded fantastic right now. The walking was not fun and had made him even more tired. He let his body slump forward until his knees hit something very soft and then toppled onto his face. There was a sigh from above him and then hands were pushing at him until he rolled over onto his side. When one of the hands strayed near his head, he pressed his cheek into it.

“This would be something Patton would find adorable if it wasn’t a result of my unintentionally drugging you, injuries, and sleep deprivation.” The hand Virgil had been leaning into carefully lifted his head and when it was lowered again, his ear sunck into a plush thing. Something soft was pulled on top of Virgil, covering him from head to toe and then the warm thing drew away. Virgil whined at the loss.

There was a pause. “Here.” Something soft and squishable was placed under his chin and Virgil curled his arms around it, pulling it to his chest. “Sleep well. I’ll be back to check on you periodically” There was a soft click and then the world got even darker behind his closed eyelids. Virgil drifted off to sleep.

“I think if we put a few more blankets and pillows in here, it would work okay,” a voice was saying when Virgil started to wake.

“You think he needs more?” another voice asked.

“Yes, Logan,” the first voice chided. “We want him to be comfortable.”

Speaking of comfortable, Virgil had no idea where he was at the moment or what was happening, but he was very comfortable. There was soft fluffiness closing him in on all sides and what felt like a really nice pillow under his head. He curled up even more around whatever he was holding against his chest.

“Aw, Logan look,” the first voice cooed. There was a slight pause and a light smacking noise. “Don’t roll your eyes! You’re the one who gave him Barnaby!”

“…He was distressed.”

“Uh huh.”

“Shut up.”

Virgil was starting to wake up a bit more. He squirmed a bit and opened his eyes a crack to see two figures in front of him.

“Hey there,” Patton said, noticing him move. “You waking up?”

Virgil blinked a couple of times. He was still a little sleepy… right, Logan had given him a potion that had a sleep aid. He should probably be a bit more upset about that, but considering he was waking up without any problems, he thought it was okay.

“Hey there,” Patton said softly. “How’re you doing?”

“Uh… I’m okay,” Virgil answered.

“Good.”

Virgil looked around himself and found that he was covered in a thick blanket and had something wedged between his restrained arms near his chest. He gave it a confused looked.

“That’s Barnaby,” Patton said. “He’s my stuffed bear.”

“Oh,” Virgil said staring at it. He couldn’t see much more than the top of it’s furry head. “Do you want him back.”

“You can keep him for now,” Patton said. “His job is to help make people feel better and you seem like you maybe need him right now.”

“O-okay?”

Patton smiled brightly at him which seemed weird because all Virgil had done was keep something that belonged to Patton. “Are you hungry?” he asked. “Lo and I already ate a bit ago, but we kept the rest of it warm for you.” Well that was an offer Virgil wasn’t about to refuse.

“I would like to eat,” Virgil said hesitantly. “I-if that’s okay?”

“Of course, sweetie,” Patton said.

“Actually, if you wait a few more minutes,” Logan said. “I will have a way for you to eat more easily.” Virgil looked over at him questioningly. “The new binding potion finished up and I have been letting it dry on new restraints that will give you more freedom of motion,” he explained. Virgil did not relish the experience of having more binding magic applied to him, but at least it didn’t sound like he’d be forced to drink anything or that it would be poured directly on his skin. Virgil didn’t know what he meant by ‘more freedom of motion,’ but it sounded like something he’d want.

“Okay,” he agreed.

#proofread stories #not writing

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thetriggeredhappy · 4 years

Note

angst&hurt/comfort, where scout is anxious and doubts his skills, so he tries to calm himself by holding/hugging/whatever his plushie (or something else, idk), whilst someone is trying to get to him, to make him confess what is bothering him? idk if you wanna make it a ship ir maybe dad spy, ily -🦂

oh dude you already KNOW dad!spy hours are 24/7 up in here. welcome to “projecting RSD onto Scout TF2 episode 85″

Stupid summer, stupid break, stupid losing streak. Stupid everything.

Usually Scout was excited about breaks. A week or so of getting to be off work, heading home to visit family or going on a road trip or whatever was happening. It was nice, he loved it. But this time they had explicit orders from their boss not to go anywhere or do anything. To stay on base or to go specifically exclusively to the store in the nearest town for food or whatever. He hated it. The base was too small to hang out in for more than a few days at a time. He hated it.

And not to mention that they’d finished off work on a bad note. A day of losses turning into a week of losses, half the team scrambling to try and pull together enough to get one last good push in before the break and the other half deciding to just accept the loss and do better once they got back.

And every day after battle Soldier would single out someone who wasn’t on top of their game and lecture them. And all week, instead of going for the people who were largely slacking off and not breaking their necks to try and get them some actual wins, he went after Scout, who was so frantic that he kept making stupid mistakes.

And he just... usually he argued about it, and got in a fight with Soldier, but he just... didn’t have the energy for it. The day was over. They’d lost. And Scout knew it wasn’t entirely his fault, but it kind of felt like it. Maybe if he’d tried just a little bit harder, pushed himself just a little further, he could’ve gotten the rest of the team motivated. Maybe they all would’ve picked things back up and tried too. But he couldn’t do it.

It was frustrating. He knew his job, beyond what he did on the field, was trying to keep morale up. He kept music playing, he was always up for hanging out or playing a few hands of poker or headed into town with someone to get shitty fast food. And he tried really hard to be funny and to keep things lighthearted, tried so fucking hard to keep spirits up. And he knew if he said anything about it, pointed out how literally like all of his time was spent trying to make sure everyone was feeling okay, it would...

He didn’t know. Maybe they’d just tell him off for being whiny or whatever. Maybe it would stop working so well, if they knew he was always doing it so extremely on purpose, so intentionally. He didn’t know.

But at that moment, he was feeling so much like utter garbage that he knew he had to just avoid the team so he didn’t drag the mood down further. Usually they didn’t really miss him anyways, other than idly asking if he’d gotten into any trouble while he was off doing “whatever he did”. All he knew was that him feeling like shit around everyone else would just make them feel bad too. And it was break anyways—maybe they’d just end up feeling better on their own. Especially since he wasn’t around to interrupt them.

He had plenty of food in his room, mostly chips and candy bars and stuff like that, stuff he didn’t want the guys stealing. And he’d totally share if they asked, for sure, but for that moment he was mostly just digging through the hoard for himself and doing not much of anything else.

He felt like kind of an idiot, sitting alone and eating his feelings like some kind of angsty teen in a movie or the chick in the romcom who just got broken up with. But there was nobody there to ridicule him except himself. And he did, but... the point stood.

A few days passed like that. He had food, he had the little bathroom connected to his room, he had comics to entertain himself. He slept a lot, mostly. Felt like garbage. Read some comics. Ate chocolate about it. Slept some more. He left a few times to do a few assorted things—called home like he did every week, went into the common room late one night to grab some of his records back so he could listen to them.

At one point, he got a knock on his door. He didn’t answer, couldn’t seem to find the energy to. A second knock when the first was unanswered after about twenty seconds. He still didn’t move.

The next day, another knock. This one was accompanied by words. “Scout? I know you’re in there,” Spy called, sounding annoyed.

To be honest, Scout was pretty sure he didn’t have the energy to deal with whatever Spy was about to lecture him about. So he just rolled over.

“You’ve missed every team meal for almost four days. You’re being rude,” Spy declared.

Scout reached off the side of the bed and picked up a plushie that had fallen down. It was a big, chunky pig, and he’d won it when he and Pyro had gone out to a fair and he’d knocked the ball toss game out of the park. Pyro had taken three of the plushies he’d won, and insisted he keep the fourth for himself.

He felt like even more of a dumb baby, sitting there cradling a stuffed animal like he was scared to head off to his first day of kindergarten, but he was already too tired and filled with vague unrest for it to get to him much.

At some point he heard a heavy sigh and the clack of fancy shoes moving away down the hallway, and Scout relaxed.

Twenty minutes later, a knock.

“Scout, let me in,” Spy said firmly.

“Fuck off, Spy,” Scout snapped.

“Scout, if you don’t open the door, I’m going to,” Spy declared.

“Bullshit.”

A heavy sigh, and then a few moments later the door swung open.

“What the fuck?” Scout asked, lifting his head to glare towards the door as Spy stepped inside.

“I know how to pick locks, Scout. You know this.” Spy squinted to try to get used to the light, the blinds having been drawn. “I’m turning a light on.”

Scout just grumbled, dropping his head back into the plush pig. In his periphery, the light was indeed turned on. There was a beat of silence.

“I brought a plate from dinner. I was concerned you would get scurvy, since you now apparently have the diet of an eight year old child who was given a hundred dollars and left unsupervised at the grocery store,” Spy said dryly.

“I don’t want your fuckin’ handouts, Spy,” Scout muttered, muffled.

“It’s not a handout, it’s the fact that I refuse to have anyone on the team besides me whose teeth are falling out. Take the food.”

“Fuck off.”

Spy sighed again, and after a moment he moved to put the plate on the bedside table. Scout prickled at the proximity, but didn’t give him the satisfaction of looking up.

“I noticed that while you haven’t been at dinner, you still took the time to leave a thumb tack on my chair. Usually when you do that it’s because you’re angry with me. What exactly have I done?”

“I’m not mad at you, I’m just mad,” Scout grumbled.

“You know, it’s very childish to refuse to look at someone when they are trying to talk to you.”

“Guess I’ll just keep being the dumb idiot kid of the team then, huh?” Scout snapped.

Silence for a moment. “Scout. You’ve locked yourself away in your room and refused to come out again for several days. I know that something is wrong. The team does too—they’re starting to worry.”

“That might just be the most obvious lie you’ve ever fuckin’ told me, Spy,” Scout practically spat, and was glad to have his voice muffled, because suddenly it went a little tight.

“Is it that hard to believe that perhaps your teammates care about you?” Spy asked, a little sharply.

“It’s me, in case you haven’t noticed,” Scout said next, getting his voice back under control. “People don’t hang around me on purpose. They put up with me. And then they stop putting up with me at some point.”

“That’s not true,” Spy said, tone leaving no room for argument, but Scout elbowed some argument in anyways.

“All seven of my brothers, every fuckin’ date I’ve ever been on, the standing ban sayin’ I can’t go in Engie’s workshop or in Heavy’s workspace down by the boiler or the infirmary unless I’m actually seriously injured—“ Scout listed off, ticking off on his fingers, keeping his face hidden. “My own fucking dad decided he couldn’t fucking stand me and I was two years old, Spy, what the hell does that tell you? I’m an annoying little piece of shit and that’s all I’m ever gonna be and then one of these days I’m gonna die for real out in this hellhole desert and ain’t a single damn person out here will have ever even bothered to learn the name that’s supposed to go on my gravestone.”

Dead silence in the room. Scout’s arm fell back down by his side. His voice was shaky when he spoke again.

“Nobody’s ever even asked,” he managed. “Demo’s real name is Tavish, Heavy’s real name is Mikhal but his sisters call him Misha. And plenty of you guys get asked about it all the time but you don’t wanna say. And nobody’s ever even fuckin’ asked me.”

Silence for a few more seconds.

“I’m a whole person,” Scout said next. “I’m really into sci-fi. I’ve read every mainline issue comic book ever published after ‘35. I know how to cook and draw and I know the all the stats of every person on every major league baseball team. I was in theater in high school between track and baseball season in the winters and I and got a lead role on some Shakespearicles thing before it got cancelled because of budget cuts. I bet you didn’t even know that.”

“I didn’t,” Spy admitted.

“And why would you? Who the fuck cares? It’s just dumb scrawny idiot Scout, who the fuck cares what his deal is? He can barely do his job and read any word that’s over four syllables, who cares what he does? He ain’t nothin’ today, he must never have been somethin’ in the first place.”

“Scout—“

“Tell me I’m wrong, Spy,” he snapped, voice cracking down the middle.

“You’re wrong. Scout, what’s going on?” Spy asked, and his voice sounded closer, like he’d taken a knee. “What happened?”

He understood, logically, that telling Spy damn near anything was a bad idea. He sold information for a living. But logic hadn’t ever been much help to him, and anyways, he was pretty sure he was about to break down either way, and he could either cry like a dumb little baby and Spy could go to the rest of the team and tell them about stupid Scout and his crying for no reason, or he could at least sort of maybe a little bit sound justified and a little bit less completely unhinged.

“We lost all week because I fuckin’ suck at my job, and we don’t get to go off base for some goddamn reason, and I miss my family, and I—“ God damn it, he hoped to at least get to a second sentence before he broke, but here came the waterworks. “—and I know the team doesn’t give a shit, and if they even noticed they probably think I’m being some idiot baby, and I’m just so fuckin’ tired of all of this, alright? I’m just so goddamn exhausted, all the time, and no matter what I do I can’t make my own stupid, shitty, broken-ass brain shut up, and I...”

There was a hand on his shoulder, now. For some reason that’s what unstuck the sob in his throat.

“And I just miss my mom,” he managed, and sobbed again. “And I know that just makes me a stupid fucking baby—“

“Scout, it doesn’t,” Spy said firmly.

“Bullshit.”

A sigh, less exasperated than the others. “Scout, I miss my own parents. Often. Heavy writes to his mother, the Bushman calls home once a week and stays on the phone for an hour at a time. Do you think they would do that if they didn’t miss them?”

Scout couldn’t seem to find his voice, and just sniffled a little.

“If anything, it’s good that you miss your mother. You are appreciating her now, while she’s still part of your life, rather than later on when she’s gone. That’s a good thing.”

“Here I am cryin’ over dumb shit—“

“The fact that you’re even capable of tears shows that you haven’t completely sealed yourself off from your emotions like several of our testosterone-puppet teammates. I’m fairly certain that Medic surgically removed his own tear ducts. I think Soldier is so dehydrated that he’s incapable of it. And rather than sweat he needs to cover himself in liquid-like food products or else he’ll die of heat stroke.”

Despite everything, that made Scout laugh, just a little. More of a hiccup than anything else.

“Admittedly, you have greater social needs than several of our team, and they need to take breaks. Not just from you, but from everyone. It’s part of being human, everyone requires some amount of time alone or else they start losing their minds. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you—value the things you do for this team, even. Every time someone would like company when going in to town for any reason, they always ask me where you are. And you’ve given good film recommendations to everyone except for the Sniper.”

“Guy hates movies,” Scout defended weakly.

“You keep recommending horror films. As it turns out, he is a fan of romantic comedies.”

“Fuckin’ what? Seriously?”

“I was shocked too. His complete lack of taste in all areas of his life continues to amaze me.”

Scout scoffed at that. A beat of silence.

“What I am saying is that the team doesn’t simply put up with you. You’re impossible to simply put up with, you take up too big a part of everyone’s life here. Instead, they must like and respect you.” A pause. “And your father must have truly been an idiot. Anyone with two eyes would be proud of the challenges you’ve faced and overcome with all of the disadvantages you’ve been dealt over your lifetime.”

Scout sniffled, wiped his eyes with his forearm, finally managed to look up at Spy. “Anyone with two eyes? You sayin’ you’re proud of me, then?” he asked, even if it was a little shaky.

“I feel no strong emotions,” Spy deadpanned.

“Alright, nevermind about earlier. That’s the most obvious lie you’ve ever told me.”

Spy rolled his eyes, standing, brushing off the knee of his suit.

Scout looked at the plate, made a face. “Aw man, what the fuck, is that asparagus? Is Medic back on trying to make us eat healthy again?”

“The Engineer cooked it, stop complaining and just eat it,” Spy said, quickly falling back into his role of naggy just on the near side of patronizing.

“C’mon, it couldn’t have been like, mashed potatoes or broccoli or somethin’?”

“You always douse those things in salt and butter. That combined with the energy drinks means you’re going to get a heart condition before I do.”

“Just get the fuck outta my room, Spy,” Scout huffed, putting the stuffed animal aside and moving to pick up the plate and utensils.

“Very well. And go talk to Demoman at some point, he’s been whining about nobody wanting to go get fast food with him for two days,” Spy said as he walked to the door. “And you can’t borrow my car to go.”

“Fuck you, Spy,” Scout said flippantly, waving him off.

“Fuck you too,” Spy said just as casually, and made sure to close the door behind him.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #dad!spy #shut up me #my fanfiction #everybody talks #unrelated to this fic but requests might be a little slow for the next few days. life just got real busy for me

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alirhi · 3 years

Text

writing sample, I guess?

So, there’s this series of books I’ve been trying (and mostly failing lol) to get done for...gods, going on 20 years, now. fuck, I’m old. Anyway, I still haven’t finished a single book, ever, in my life, but I’ve got a lot of random snippets of widely varying quality lol and I’m bored so I figured... fuck it. I’ll share some stuff and see if anyone likes it. I’m starting with a scene that was scrapped from the second book in the series. sorry if it’s a little confusing, and I’d be happy to provide context if anyone asks. I just don’t have a lot of good stuff that’s not getting kept if I ever actually finish and publish any of this crap lol and I don’t want to start off with something that’s actually being kept, if that makes sense? Anyway, here:

oh first... TRIGGER WARNING! death, blood, violence, mentions some other traumatic things like torture and rape.

and despite other characters calling her a child, main girl is NOT. she’s in her 20s. just to clarify XD

"Dad!" Choking back sobs, Rachel stumbled just inside the door and skidded the rest of the way on her knees, coming to rest beside the man she'd truly come to think of as her father. "Dad... dad... Daddy!" Tears blurred her vision as she pulled the bleeding and barely-conscious warrior's head into her lap; she tried to blink them away, but only made them roll in steady rivers down her cheeks.

Voice wavering, she stroked his unnaturally pale face and whimpered, "Daddy, please wake up!"

He stirred, ever so slightly, and the one eye that remained in his skull fluttered halfway open. It seemed at first that he couldn't see anything around him, but then that cold blue orb came to rest on the most welcome features he could possibly hope to see in his final moments, beautiful even twisted in grief as they now were.

"Rachel..." Amadeus rasped. With a wince, he swallowed past the dry lump in his throat and tried again: "Little Lady... You cannot be here..." Feebly, he tried to bring one hand up to cup her cheek, but couldn't muster the strength. His arm sort of twitched uselessly by his side and then dropped, limp and weak in the steadily growing pool of blood beneath him. The shattered stumps where his wings had once sat twitched as she pulled him closer, but they, too, would never be of use to him again.

For one desperate, foolish moment, the young queen felt relief wash through her. He was alive! Resolved to keep it that way, she squared her shoulders and gently shushed him. "Let me concentrate. I'll get you healed up and then-"

"No."

Startled, she nearly dropped him. "What?"

Throat still dry and choked, Amadeus had to fight to push every word out. "I'll not... see another dawn. You must... lead our people... home."

"You're my people!" she protested, fresh tears stinging her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic, daddy, I'll get you heal-"

"Rachel." Her mouth snapped shut as he turned his head to press his pasty face into her hand. Blind hope aside, they both knew he could never be healed; severed wings were the one injury no angel could recover from, no matter how much energy she wasted trying. He closed his eye for a moment, and when it opened again, he put all the strength and dignity he could into his gaze; it pierced through his sobbing Queen, and she shivered. With the last of his waning strength, he insisted in a soft growl, "Be my daughter."

The blonde hated that she knew exactly what he meant. Cringing, but unable to look away or deny him the one thing she could actually do for him, she lifted her stolen dagger and took a deep breath.

"I love you, Daddy." Hardening her heart, she closed her eyes and plunged the shining golden blade through his.

As his lungs deflated for the last time, Rachel filled hers and let out the longest, loudest scream she could manage. A surge of power shot out of her at the same time, slamming into the walls hard enough to cause spiderweb cracks in all four sheer rock faces, and causing the glass to explode out of the tiny window near the ceiling. Vibrant sky blue eyes turned a faintly glowing silver as she set Amadeus' body on the floor and stood. Her lap and hands were soaked in his blood, but she paid no attention. Her tears dried and her grief retreated behind blind, ice-cold fury.

The cracks followed her through the halls, and only grew when the stones around her began to shake as she conjured music through their atoms. This was no low-volume hum to entertain herself; this was her war cry, and it reverberated through the dimly lit halls, announcing her approach to every living thing left in the castle. She was hardly even aware of what song she'd conjured until she heard Jonathan Davis' voice tear through the building screaming "ARE YOU READY?!"

Experience during their invasion of her home world had taught her one thing: The Fallen hated her taste in music, and the driving beat that spurred her on well past the point of exhaustion and kept her focused disoriented the enemy. It was perfect.

"I'm sure I don't need to tell you that this is a very stupid idea." The blonde didn't even so much as twitch when Lazereth appeared out of the gloom and fell into step beside her. "You're letting everyone know exactly where you are."

"Do I look like I'm hiding?" she snarled, swirling silver irises flashing.

"Why aren't you on that transport, you foolish girl?"

In any other situation, her normally cool and collected friend's venom would have made Rachel pause, possibly reconsider her actions, but she was too far gone. Nothing penetrated the static that clouded her mind. No thought was given even the tiniest voice except one: Kill them all. Vengeance drove her forward, and as her rage built, the music grew louder and the cracks in the walls wider and deeper.

Lazereth blinked, taking note of the damage for the first time. "You're expending an awful lot of power, little one."

"I don't even feel it."

That was almost more concerning than the fiery hatred that radiated off of her tiny body. "Killian, child-"

"They killed my father." Rachel stopped dead in her tracks, finally turning to face her friend as she drew her borrowed sword with one hand; the other still kept a white-knuckle grip on the knife she'd driven into Amadeus' heart. The final strike had been hers, true, but that was mercy. He'd have died either way.

Lazereth growled, gripping both of the little blonde's shoulders and giving her a violent shake. "And your children need you! Your people need you!" At the young Queen's startled expression, she rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't look at me like that! Of course I know who you are. And now Matthias will, as well!"

"I don't CARE!" She shook the older woman off, not wanting to find out the hard way if her strange nullifying power worked on her. "Imprison me, enslave me, torture me, rape me... Whatever. I'll live. But no one fucks with my family!"

Tears stung the noblewoman's eyes, blurring her vision with an icy gray haze as she whispered, "You still have family, my dear."

"And Emil's taking care of the last members of it still trapped on this rock," Rachel snapped, breaking into a run as the song switched from Korn's Blind to Led Zeppelin's Immigrant Song.

She didn't notice, and was too wrapped up in her bloodlust to care, when Lazereth stood where she was, one hand hovering by her throat and tiny pink lips forming one nearly-silent word. "'Emil'?"

It was surprisingly easy to make her way through the palace to the throne room. Rachel met with some resistance, but it was minimal; by the time she reached the closed and barred doors, it finally dawned on her that most of the King's forces were out looking for her in the city. Good. She wanted her next fight to be one-on-one.

"MATTHIAS!" The heavy doors slammed open, the broken timber that had been bracing them shut launched to two separate corners of the room from the force of her rage. Finding her prey there, huge eyes narrowed in feigned anger to cover the very real fear behind them, she smirked. "Let's dance, you ugly fucker."

The room trembled and her ears ached from the volume as the song she conjured changed again and grew louder. Pantera's 5 Minutes Alone brought Matthias's two remaining guards to their knees, clutching their heads in pain. Matthias himself had too much pride to be seen flinching, much less cowering, and that was fine with her. If he shrank and cowered, she could simply lop his head off and walk away. She didn't want that; she wanted him to suffer.

"You wanted the Pallandre Queen," she bellowed over the music as she slowly closed the distance between them. He took an involuntary step back before he caught himself, and her smirk spread into an insidious, almost manic grin. "Well, here I am, Matty. Come and get me."

Never breaking eye contact with her, the newly crowned King called out to his guards. He tried to sound commanding, even a trifle impatient; Rachel only heard the tremor of unease that made his voice waver and crack. She smiled again. "They're busy. Anyway, this fight is all yours, Matt. You invaded my home, you enslaved my people, you killed my father... and now? Now is your moment of fucking reckoning. You're gonna learn today, boy; don't start a fight you don't have the balls to finish!"

Finally she was mere inches from him. It was too close for her sword to be of any use to her, but that was fine; she still had the knife coated in Amadeus's drying blood in her other hand. Staring up at the lanky monstrosity before her, she cut the music at last and grinned as she pulled her glamour back in around her. She delighted in watching those comically large eyes get even bigger with shock as her golden locks and bright sky blue eyes both faded to a deep brown and her pale pink skin turned a beautiful light caramel color. "You should have killed me when you had the chance."

"You!"

The illusion dropped in an instant and she backed up a step, nodding. "Been here all along, baby." Quick as a striking snake, she pressed the flat of the knife blade against his bare arm and then danced back, cackling as he shrank away from her and howled in pain. "Not my fault you were too stupid to see it."

#my writing #fiction #fantasy #battle #snippet #original fiction #critiques welcome #i know i'm bad at death scenes #rough draft #scrapped

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thanksjro · 4 years

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Spotlight: Orion Pax - Because Hasbro was Getting Antsy About Their Golden Boy Having Faffed Off into Space

Oho, you thought we were done with Optimus Prime, did you?

You fools.

This is Transformers- we’re legally obligated to have Optimus Prime in some form or fashion running around at all times. This is just Hasbro catching up.

Fun fact: this was published on December 12th, 2012!

Our issue opens up with Orion Pax strapped to the top of a shuttle that’s careening towards a city.

But that’s the hook, so we won’t get to see what that’s all about just yet. No, first we’ve got to see just what all led to this point.

Earlier in the day, Orion Pax got refitted with a hot new bod, courtesy of Wheeljack, and now he’s showing off his new look to historical constant Rung and Kaput, who are here to assist in acclimation.

This is Kaput’s first appearance in the comics, but it’s not his first entry into the IDW continuity. He was introduced in the Last Stand of the Wreckers prose story Bullets, where he diagnosed Ironfist with dead, in so many words. Kaput’s here currently because he specializes in sparks, and he’s going to make sure that Orion’s doesn’t explode in his chest thanks to the frame change. No word on whether the wheel was something he came into the world with or a modification.

But enough medical nonsense, let’s see the star of the show.

That’s not how reflections work!

Orion’s first point of contention is the fact that his lucky faceplate is missing. Wheeljack replaced it with a proper face, because that’s the new hotness right now. I guess when you’re a race of space robots who can change their bodies the way humans change their clothes, fashion is a lot more work. I wonder if faces out out of vogue in the present- there’s a lot of guys without one on the Lost Light.

Rung offers Orion some reading materials to help him cope with the sudden change, but it isn’t necessary. Orion fully intends to switch back to his old bod after his mission is over.

If you couldn’t tell by this point, this whole “frame change” thing is a plot contrivance to explain away some of the design clashing between comics set during this time period.

This is Zeta.

Yes, really, they’re the same guy. I don’t think Senator Shockwave would have had him modified for Matrix carrying if he’d known how tacky he was going to be about it.

Zeta Prime seems to think that haute couture is exploding a Galapagos turtle and then strapping the smoking remains to your back.

Zeta leads Orion over to where Nightbeat’s waiting with a slideshow he spent hours on. Nightbeat, at the time of this story, is a hostage negotiator, and today his mission, as well as Orion’s, is to retrieve our beloved Ratchet from a Decepticon terrorist cell hiding somewhere in the Rust Spot. The Rust Spot’s some heavy duty danger, hence the reformat for Orion.

They’ll also be bringing on Alpha Trion, #1 Rust Spot navigator, philosopher, polymath, polyglot, historian, and all-around grandpa.

His beard gets a D+, however.

Note the quotation marks on “he” here; it looks like even Roberts was sick of the Furmanism that is “genderless robots that all appear to be male”. We’ll get more into that sticky situation later on. What I want to focus on right now is our artist for the issue, Steve Kurth.

Kurth is from Wisconsin, and doesn’t have a ton of pencil credits to his name in the Transformers franchise. He mostly does work for Marvel, and while it appears his art blog hasn’t been updated in a few years, the publishing company still has a tag for him. He’s done the Avengers, if that’s your thing.

Anyway, so nobody knows who’s in the back.

I gotta say, Alpha Trion, you got some brass fucking balls to insinuate that the cops forgot to put the hostage tradeoff in the trailer, in front of said cops.

The fellas transform and roll out, Orion pulling the trailer because anything else would be blasphemy, as Alpha Trion guides them to the meet up point. As they drive, the old man regales the young whippersnappers with his tales of friendship and adventure alongside Metroplex the Titan. They were, like, best friends. Seriously.

Storytime gets interrupted however, as our heroes are attacked from beyond the mists.

You know, when I was a kid, my mom had a car that looked exactly like Nightbeat here, paint job and all.

Alpha Trion got so wrapped up in blathering away, he forgot to mention that they were in Slicer territory, and might want to be on the lookout. Thanks, Alpha, way to be a pal.

Nightbeat refers to the creatures as “throwbacks”, something that’s never elaborated on, but I’m going to guess it means something along the lines of being primitive, or perhaps animalistic.

Holy fucking shit, that’s terrifying.

These awful things start swarming Orion, Nightbeat, and Alpha Trion, who all start punching and shooting with wild abandon, making short work of the mass. Orion gets a few paper cuts for his troubles, but they’re all more or less alright.

The trailer can’t say quite the same though; the door’s popped off, and the contents have either escaped or never existed in the first place.

Schrodinger wept.

Alpha Trion pulls the prisoner out of the fog… and then so does Nightbeat.

It’s a two-for-one sale at the Hostage Emporium.

Rack and Ruin haven’t really done anything to warrant being worth a whole entire Ratchet, so Orion decides to have a little chat and see what’s up.

Oh, that’s what Nightbeat meant by Ruin being the ugly one.

Orion’s chat reveals these two chumps to be even bigger losers than they first appeared to be- their only talent seems to be instantaneous conversion, which involves shutting off all the safety protocols for one’s transformation cog for a faster switch.

Orion switches trains of thought, asking about the Decepticon cause and its whole deal. This is a bit after the events of the heist, so the rhetoric has become a bit more violent by this time, and he wants to know what the hell happened.

But there’s no time for philosophic musing, because that’s when the Decepticons show up. Thundercracker escorts our group to the hideout to meet Bludgeon, and the exchange is made, albeit with a pro bono thrown in.

Well, shit.

This was why the Decepticons wanted to meet in the Rust Spot; because they knew only Alpha Trion would be able to guide the cops to the tradeoff point. But what are they going to do with robot grandpa? Why, use him to find Metroplex, of course!

There’s a rumor that Titans have the capabilities to create space bridges inside them- we as the reader know this to be true thanks to the 2012 MTMTE Annual, but let’s not tell Bludgeon about all that, yes?

Orion, please, this is hardly the time.

Luckily for Alpha Trion, Orion stuffed some guns into the bottom of the trailer, as is made apparent when he starts throwing them to his buddies. Why he and Nightbeat weren’t carrying any weapons on their person isn’t addressed, but at least the idea here is kind of cool.

Alpha Trion easily escapes his bonds, because a noose isn’t really worth much to a species that doesn’t breathe and can literally survive not having a head.

We are just laying it on THICK today, aren’t we?

Rack and Ruin lead the other not-Decepticons into the tunnels towards safety- not sure how exactly, considering they’ve got their sensory deprivation helmets back on- as Orion Pax is dogpiled into submission.

Bludgeon might need a hobby. Might I suggest jigsaw puzzles?

Orion’s about to hit the loop that was created by the first page of this issue, so he tries to stall for time to think of a way out of all this. He halfway succeeds, in that he gets a little more time, but doesn’t come up with anything. Down on the ground, all his friends watch the shuttle shoot into the sky, probably wondering what all that’s about.

Bludgeon was aiming for this shuttle to hit a populated area, but it would appear that he’s an idiot and overshot by a wide margin. Cool beans.

Ah wait, we still have another three pages of story to this.

Hey, y’all remember Hoist’s tragic backstory, where he wandered the Rust Spot alone until he almost died of exhaustion?

Yeah, that was Orion’s fault.

The Fault of Our Star, if you will.

(I’ve never read anything written by John Green, what the hell am I doing?)

Because he just bounced off the underside of Hoist’s shuttlecraft, Orion’s hurtling towards the downtown section of Iacon, which is absolutely a populated area and exactly what Bludgeon was going for. Orion’s going to have to think fast if he’s going to get out of this one. Good thing Rack and Ruin told him their super secret transformation technique.

Thinking quickly, Orion transforms into a truck, breaks his bonds, somehow manages to not fly off the side of the shuttle due to wind pressure, transforms back to root mode, shuts off the autopilot, slams into a wide open field just outside of town, and survives well enough to be more concerned about Wheeljack being mad he scuffed up his new body than his own safety. Good on you, Orion! You saved the day!

To celebrate, he takes an old hubcap or something and shoves it over his face, because I guess only he gets to know how he’s feeling.

Don’t look at me like that, it’s not my fault the story just kind of ends here.

#transformers #jro #spotlight #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #comic script writing

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thelittlehansy · 4 years

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A chronology of all my different opinions of Prince Hans. ( 2013-2020)

Long version of a old post i already make. my different opinion about Mr.of the southern isles not sure how much thats actually interesting XD but it is truly CRAZY how many opinion i got about that character so i m gonna tried to give the most faithful inside look i have about Hans trought the years.😁

1-Neutrality ( 2013)

I was at first kind of neutral toward Hans. Like i was adoring already the love is an open door and the dynamic between Hans and Anna jinx jinx again it was my fav part 😂 but at the end i was more pleasantly suprise by the twist its was suprising and to me THE thing of the movie. the part exciting to watch again and know people reaction of it.. Like its was the beginning of the twist trend i was more pleasantly surprise that betrayed. I was finding Anna and kristoff really cute together and i remembered the comments "she kiss the others guy at the end its ruined the lesson of the movie" annoyed me a LOT 😂like i find that funny because now i understand more the critiscm of the end. Something that never change was my opinion of the punch at the end......*rolled my eyes* I never though it was something funny even if hans deserve it.

2- Hans is a loathsome character. ( around 2014-2017)

Frozen began to be one those movies with tangled and the princess and the frog that i watch several times because of how entertaining they were. So i begin To really associated Hans to a very messed up character cruel cold sadistic i was having that strong image of him during the betrayal scene. The emotionally abusive Hans to a poor princess . Really the worst part of what he did is how personal and mean he was To Anna. How he treat anna with so much cruelty.

I remember also didnt finding Hans handsome at all and didnt even understanding all the appeal around his design. ( now i have completly change my mind XD ) i think thats hans actions makes him even more ugly to me at that period. That period last a long time because that opinion was at a period i was not at all interest that much of frozen and that period last a long time. So yeah didnt was hating him but highly disliking him.

3- Hans : the disney villain ! ( around 2017)

That we entered in a dark period when i began interest in one thing : writing disney crossover fanfiction. When i treat Hans as every disney classical villain. 😂Every trait à disney villain got hans was having it in my head. I want to cringe at myself at that period because when i was trying to wrote crossover fanfic Hans was someone indicredibly violent who loved blood. i was making him do stupid thing for the sake of doing stupid thing. He really was hate by everyone. He wanted to rules the world i was enjoying makes other character put him down like his brothers or other disney princess and prince😅. Like in my head Hans was a disney villain so there was no way he was being friend with prince and princess But really he was always doing dumb thing and all the princes were hating on him because this is "Hans" you know😂. I took Hans as excuse to have some baddies in the fanfic i was imagining so what about the plot that hans team up with jafar in order To rules over the southern isles 😂 seriously remind myself of these hans period makes me want to hit my head against a wall. Because its obvious now that i was just not interest in the character , i put 0 thinking in his character and was making him do dumb very very dumb things for the sake of making shine the heroes of my fanfic.

Now i beleive this is something we are a lot to do i can name once upon a time who makes hans do stupid thing in order for Anna and kristoff to shine and maleficent who put down every single character of sleeping beauty to makes shine Maleficent sorry Beneficent.

I think at that period i have also learn some stuff about a frozen heart like lars the name of a brothers that is Nice to Hans and was making hans being an asshole to him and lars hating him After arendelle 😄

4- The best villain EVER OK !!!!! (2017-2018)

I think at the level I was reading more frozen fanfic because i got extremely interest in him at the difference of before who really i didnt paid attention to his character at all he was only a very very random disney villain. finally but most importantly i Feel in love with the idea of an evil prince. So thats when become my period Hans is the most evil disney villain he is amazing the twist is AWESOME OK !!!!!! Dont critized it ok !!! Thats perfect its makes totally sense 😂

The smile under the boat ? Thats a smirk what are you talking about.😄

Sociopath ? He is one. Look i know nothing about anti social personality disorder i put 0 observation in Hans actual personality BUT he was abused by his brothers. See thats not how sociopath are made ? Doesnt people who are abused turn into monster ??? ( god what an awful reasoning i hate now people who say he was abused so thats make sense he is evil) see jennifer lee said he is one ! *disappoint face while reading several people making good arguement as why he is not*

The hints ? I rewatch frozen especially for Hans and notice his face and all the hints were blowing my mind. But most importantly the one at that ice castle and his look at the chandelier to killed elsa. I swear i have read a comment saying the creators confirmed it was not part of the script and an error because i rememeber be very very upset and wanting this hint to be true 😅

Also my worst enemy at that period : the troll theory because it was logical....And the redemption fans wanted.😅 i was like

He is EVIL let him stay EVIL !!!!!!

Now i think i did like Anna 🙄😂 she feel in love with idea of love instead of Hans and me i Feel in love with the idea of an evil prince that took Hans for the character he is..😄

5 : Hans : Anna'ex fiance ( 2018)

The thing with disney princess villain is that most of the times the princess and the prince relationship are at the heart of the movie. So when frozen come out its was cool because elsa and Anna sisters relationship was at the heart of the movie. But in the end we saw more Anna with kristoff that with Elsa so i kind of associated personally frozen with anna and kristoff relationship. So that period where i start to stop having this very rigid point of view and allowed myself getting interest into something i was defitntly not with the other disney princess movies. The relationship between the princess and the villain who here was her ex fiance. So hans Begin in my mind much more Anna ex fiance that a classical disney villains and thats around here i start to truly ship them because i was really exploring Hans relationship with anna and the funny comical post canon relationship between them they could have. like them keep getting inviting at Ball arguing making their own propaganda on their side making love is an open door reference so i discovered there that Hans to me could have a pretty funny amazing dynamic with Anna that i never thought in the past. But it was more at that period start to find Hans and anna relationship interesting that shipping them.

6- team Jacob team peeta sorry team Hans or team kristoff. ( 2018)

My triangle love drama period basically. I began to considerably ship way more hansanna. Of course in post canon redemption story or AU and i think i have at that period read literraly all the hansanna fanfic ever. anna in poly relationship was my otp 😂 began a level where i start to extremely not ship kristanna not ship hansanna but ship them at the same time. 😂

and really shipping kristanna and hansanna alone had not the same charm as shipping them together.

So i began to see Hans more from a shipping point of view that for his own character. even when i watched frozen the very first times i was liking Anna subplot romantic arc with kristoff and Hans. And it was bringing me good old feeling of my teen and pre Teen years when i was addict to the hunger games and twilight and basically love triangle😂. Something there isnt technically in frozen but there are still Anna and two suitors with Hans and kristoff.

7- the grey characters with an interesting family. ( 2018)

Reading more fanfic i start to view him more as a grey characters and start to be interest in hans family. Yeah before i was all the time imagining hans alone didnt really take into consideration the little very little tiny detail that hans is a prince has a kingdom and a pretty big family. I had two strong headcanon about his family his brothers were jerks but just jerks and most of them were nice oh and their dad was dead i was loving the idea of hans older brother be the king. The king and the queen were character that i overlook that i was not interest but i was way more interest in hans brothers. So i continue my view on grey Hans and that relationship with anna i was so interest while being more and more interest in Hans family. So my world of headcanon crush when i discovered more stuff about that book a frozen heart publish by disney. And well in that book most of Hans brothers were really more than jerks but really horrible so first headcanon destroyed but i tried to keep the name Caleb but imagine the character with the personality i like. The king was alive....ok second headcanon destroyed 😅 ok gonna deal with that and like the idea of the king being nice. ( didnt knew how mess up he actually was)

8- the king of the southern isles : view Hans from the point of view of his relationship with his father.( 2019-2020)

The step : i finally command a frozen heart i spoiled myself while reading tv tropes😂😂 ( around that time i created myself a tumblr account) and read that book : basically i got incredibly more interest in : Hans psychology , the king of the southern isles hans relationship with his dad.something that i never through about in the past. But reading tv tropes makes me a LOT interest in the king of the southern isles and Hans relationship with him. really ironic taking my old headcanon into consideration really that book how it developp hans psychology really makes me view him A LOT different. We learn Hans hates violence is a pacifist never do evil thing in his life safe for what he did during those 3 years for his dad but he hates every bit of it. So i really started to view Hans dependant under the influence of his father and thinking that what is evil with Hans is more that toxic relationship with his father than Hans himself. Every bad thing he did this is because of his father corrosive influence. Thats also a period when i start to really saw him from a psychologist point of view his daddy issues his trauma. So yeah A Frozen Heart make me really see Hans in a whole new light

9- Hans the victim and the not so great villain (2020)

So now i think we move to my recent opinion well i m sorry but i cant ignore stuff publish my disney not a matter of liking a frozen heart or not To me stuff publish by disney are canon until Proven not and also i read that a group was form when frozen began something huge to keep everything same in the franchise. So after reading and analyzing a frozen heart thinking...thinking way too much about it i start to think even more about Hans😂. And here we got a character with a very big Ndad hans being his scapegoat who was all his life emotionally, verbally , physically , mentally abused since he is little victim of narcissist abuse. All the times reject , humiliated, bully and thats very hard to ignore all of That because from jeenifer lee word of Hans childhood to that recent comic disney publish with little Hans. They really go for : hans has a very messed up life. I m sorry but at this point thats canon. And the problem i have is that all of That that is defintly not a tragic backstory the character is still very much being currently mistress , abused and neglect by his family. He is still living that life as a kid as a teen as a young adult as an adult And nope whatever how much we like elsa and anna and it was wrong what hans do. He do not deserve to be punished by his abusers. And his abusers do not deserve to punish him. So when you have disney giving all that information about him showing him being a interesting character complex that has never do anything evil on his own wish except in frozen. But most importantly giving him such an Horrible life something that was never do for the others disney villain this is really hard to consider Hans a true disney villain. And yeah he is the villain of Anna and elsa story but very much the victim from the point of view of his family. So thats all of this that makes hans a character that truly break my heart for what he has endure and is still enduring in his life. So my current vision of Hans is victim Hans of course i repeat not toward elsa and Anna you know the kind of stuff some people would twist about what i say but a victim because Hans got very very bigger villain in his life on the contrary of the others disney villains. What is even more sad is that the two people that cares for him lars and his mom dont even stand up for him in public. So thats really complicated....even ship i slighty change my mind i ship even more hansanna , i ship kristanna and Anna in a poly relationship is still my otp🤣🤣 but...getting a tumblr account last summer and reading the whole blog fnafiction.net and archive of our own had be associated kristanna with not very good thing but i still like the ship. What change a lot is my view on him as villain now i agree that the twist sucks 😅it wasnt done very well and the hints...after reading some stuff now i belive most of them are creation of the fans. So thats a whole different point of view. 😂😂and nah hans has a lot of people above him in the hierarchy , he was not the big obstacle of the movie and i found out that Hans lying to anna was not even a thing at all during love is an open door while paying attention at several stuff on the franchise ( i make several post about it on my blog) the hints when hans look at the chandelier dont even exist in the scenario i chekced it. Hans was a bad guy to ony the main characters elsa and anna at the difference of the others disney villains. So all of those stuff compare to disney villains make hans to me A weak villain and more fitting in the disney princes line up as he is too me interesting and complex but not at the level of evil queen tremaine frollo scar shang yu jafar ursula maleficent dr facilier.

So yeah thats makes a 180 degree change just like him in the movie 😄 i dont know maybe my mind is gonna change again ?

it really never happen to me with any other disney character before To change so much my mind.

#my opinion through the years

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lia-jones · 4 years

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Growing Pains - Chapter Twenty Six - The Rube Goldberg Trap

Author’s Note: Writing this first part was probably simultaneously the most scary and delightful I had done in my life. Finishing it was like the end of an era. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing, and if you did, please let me know. Your words and support are my bread and butter, and you have no idea how brighter my day becomes when I hear from you. So, it’s see you later, for now. Second part will be coming out soon! Lots of love!

Since I can remember, I have been fascinated with Rube Goldberg machines, even before I knew what they were called. A Rube Goldberg machine is also known as a chain reaction machine, which is basically a complicated contraption that requires a certain number of actions, one always leading to another, to obtain a single, usually very simple, purpose. It’s inventor, Rube Goldberg, invented them for comic purposes, but I was fascinated by how it seemed to represent the way fate affects our lives, should such a thing exist.

Because if fate was a real thing, there was a reason why I quit the piano and decided to take Economics instead. And my change of career led to me meeting Daniel, and falling in love with him. Which, of course, led to the abuse, and me coming to Loveland to change my life. Simultaneously, that also led to me taking my doctorate, as well as my internship in LFG, and meeting Victor.

If fate was a real thing, there was a reason why my car broke down in the middle of the main avenue that rainy night, and a reason for Victor to stop and help me instead of moving along. There was a reason for him to startle me in the coffee room and make me spill coffee all over myself, because otherwise he wouldn’t have asked for me to present my own reports, and I wouldn’t have argued with him and wouldn’t have tried to quit the job, and Victor would’ve gone to Creekwood by himself, and we wouldn’t get to know each other, or fall in love.

Of course, believing in fate is always a nice thought. Even if we make mistakes, we can say it was fate. It was meant to be that way, because if we didn’t mess up, this or that wouldn’t have happened. Even the faultiest of actions can be seen as part of the Rube Goldberg machine, and we can cut ourselves some slack. It is faulty when we look at it closely. But if we look at the bigger picture, after the complicated contraption does its job, it fits perfectly. Its purpose is clear.

Unless, of course, the contraption leads to an unwanted result. That is a new kind of scary.

My presence in that fashion show seemed to be the push on the button of another Rube Goldberg machine, leading to a series of events, and I still couldn’t put my finger on all of them. As far as I was concerned, the contraption was still in motion, one event leading to the other. It began at the show, which probably caused a paparazzi to see me, which piqued the interest of that reporter who wrote the article, which lead to… this.

The morning after the article, I spoke with the Dean, reassuring her that the situation would be dealt with. Since Victor Lee was one of the people involved, she was relieved almost immediately, knowing he wouldn’t possibly let anything escape his watchful eye. After my classes and a brief meeting with my research team, I headed to LFG to meet the lawyers, and see what could be done about this whole thing.

I arrived at LFG to find Victor already in the conference room with the lawyers.

“Gentleman, please inform Miss Jones of what you believe we should do.” Victor ordered as I sat down. He was in CEO mode, bossy, poker face in place.

“We believe we may sue them for violation of privacy.” One of them turned to me. “Your abuse is a serious matter, and we can allege that the fact that they interviewed your abuser actually gave him the idea to try to reconnect with you.”

“Oh my God. Please don’t remind me.” I held my head between my hands.

Victor gave me a reassuring look. It made me feel safer, and I relaxed.

“We have to say, however, this may not work.” The other lawyer advised. “But the consequences of a lawsuit, even if the publisher is deemed not guilty of the charges, will be disastrous for them. We are talking about legal expenses, long days in court, not to mention no one will want to have anything to do with the company that crossed LFG’s CEO.”

“They will lose all their investors and go bankrupt.” I concluded. They all nodded, apparently pleased that I understood it. “But is this just a threat, or are we really going to go through with it?”

“Your choice.” Victor offered. “Whatever you decide, it’s final.”

“If we go through with this, if we press charges, my abuse will be discussed to no end, right?”

They all nodded.

“I don’t want that. And I have no intention of sending hundreds of people to unemployment either. I just want this to go away and maybe to send a warning that my personal business is off-limits.”

The lawyers all looked at Victor for approval. He gave them a small nod.

Suddenly, the door to the conference room opened, and an elegant tall man in his 60’s entered, his expression unsmiling and unforgiving. That expression alone would be a dead giveaway to who he was, if I hadn’t seen his picture in Victor’s biography. It was Victor’s father, Gregory Lee. Goldman followed shortly after him, a panicked expression on his face. And everyone in the room, except for me and Victor, were immediately affected by his presence, looking all uncomfortable and suddenly ceremonious.

Mr. Lee senior turned to the lawyers, speaking like he was actually their boss and ran the whole company himself.

“I need a moment alone with my son. Make yourselves busy elsewhere.”

Without another word, they quickly left the room, practically bowing to the man. The more I looked at him, the more I saw the resemblance in Victor. It was like he was a younger version of his father… except maybe for the eyes. The elder man turned to me.

“Did you not hear me? Leave.”

I looked at him, wondering what chip he had on his shoulder to be so rude. Victor intervened.

“Father, this is-“

“I know exactly who she is.” Mr. Lee interrupted, annoyed. “Her face is all over the tabloids.”

“What exactly are you doing here?” Victor asked, showing slight annoyance.

“I came to Loveland on business.” Gregory answered, sitting down. “Imagine my disappointment when one of my assistants brings me a copy of one of those dirty tabloids, featuring my son and… her.”

“I don’t see why is that any of your business.” Victor stated, cool as a cucumber.

“Ungrateful child.” The father spoke, his tone severe. “What do you think you are doing? Is that how you take care of our name, of your reputation? By getting yourself infatuated and letting our name be dragged through the mud? First it was that producer, now this? You’re too much of a fool, always acting on your romantic whims. Look at her. She has no family name, no worth of her own. Are you really considering continuing our bloodline with this girl? With a filthy immigrant?”

“I’m sorry, I won’t let you disrespect me like that!” I stood up.

“Someone should put a muzzle on you.” Victor’s father warned.

“Someone should try.” I retorted, letting him know with my eyes I was not scared of him.

“Enough!” I heard Victor say. “You said your piece. Now leave.” He got up, and walked to the door, opening it.

Gregory Lee walked proudly towards the door. He stopped by Victor, shooting a little more venom.

“I’m glad your mother isn’t here to see this. She would be ashamed of you.” And with that he left.

Victor looked like he took a major blow to the stomach. His eyes were red, his jaw clenching in anger. I had never seen him this vulnerable. He closed the door behind his father, and for a moment I was almost afraid to go to him, fearing he would break under my touch. He looked so fragile. It was evident that Victor’s tender spot was his father… and the mention of his mother.

He leaned against the frosted glass panels of the conference room, taking a deep breath, gathering himself. He was still the same Victor, standing tall and looking dignified, but at the same time, something about him looked frail, unhinged, shaken. I stood before him, massaging his shoulders softly.

He immediately took me in his arms, and held as tight as he could, taking a deep breath. Victor has held me so many times, trying to keep me safe or soothe me, but this was different. This was for his sake. He was the one seeking comfort this time, trying to steady himself. It almost felt like he was recharging.

“I’m sorry for this.” Victor finally spoke, sounding more like his usual self.

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I really am sorry. I know he’s your father, but he’s an ass. And he has no right to just waltz in and disrespect you.”

Victor let out another sigh.

“Don’t worry, I’m used to it.” He said, looking at me, but not letting me go out of his grip. “I told you, we don’t get along well.”

“You are a good man, Victor. You are.” I said, hoping my words would sound as honest as they were. He gave me a soft kiss, his lips lingering on mine.

“Let’s go home. I had enough of this day.” Victor gathered his things to leave.

The problem with contraptions like a Rube Goldberg machine is that, if you don’t see the bigger picture, you won’t know what it will lead to until the very end. You just see the dominoes falling, and the ball rolling, and the hourglass turning, and the hammer hitting it, allowing the sand in it to be slowly poured into a bowl supported by a very fragile string that can break at any moment.

All I knew was that my study was compromised, my career was in jeopardy, my abuse was out for the world to see, and Victor was fighting with his father. All of this was weighing on me like the sand in the bowl, and I was terrified to find out what would happen should the fragile string break.

Victor and I sat on the sofa in his living room, nursing our glasses of whiskey, both lost in thought. The world had decided to throw its entire weight on our shoulders, and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel strong enough to bear it. I couldn’t help but think this was all my fault. It was all a curse I seemed to carry, and I couldn’t get rid of it, no matter how hard I tried. Now it was affecting Victor as well. It broke my heart to see him hurt like that… because of me.

Victor seemed to read my mind, as he held my hand and spoke in a more upbeat tone.

“You know what we need?” He said, getting up and pulling me with him. “A distraction. Let me cook you something.”

I gladly took the suggestion. We gathered around his kitchen island, preparing ingredients, and at some point all those problems seemed so far away that it was almost funny that they existed. We were just there, living in the moment, enjoying the banter, having fun. We would get through this. We had each other.

And then the doorbell rang. With a heavy sigh, Victor went to open it.

“Mia?” I heard him say from the hallway. “What are you doing here?”

It was my turn to sigh heavily. What was she doing here?

I didn’t understand her reply, but I noticed the voices were starting to get closer and closer. I prepared my serene smile.

“Wait in the kitchen with Andrea, I’ll check in my office.” I heard Victor say.

And there she was, wearing a blue summer dress, looking chirpy and innocent as always.

“Oh, Souvenir food?” She eyed the counter, and all the ingredients on it, curiously.

“Not sure it can qualify as Souvenir food, since we are both preparing it.” I said, as I put some onions to fry in a skillet.

“I miss my days cooking with Victor in Souvenir.” She reminisced. “But I have to say I learned a lot, at least now I can make edible food for Gavin. I was helpless in the kitchen, back in the day.”

My heart sank at the thought of Victor and Mia together, sharing the same moments I just shared with him.

“You used to cook with Victor for Souvenir?” I asked, trying to look impassive.

“I was there all the time!” She beamed. “I’m sure Victor told you, we know each other from way back! The restaurant was named after a memory we shared as kids! Well, one of the happy ones, the whole kidnapping and being in captivity for years isn’t one we want to keep, right?”

I held tight to the counter, my mind reeling. First, he clearly opened the restaurant in her honor, and that made my heart pang. Second, what did she mean, kidnapping? And captivity? This time, I couldn’t keep a straight face, and Mia grew worried.

“Are you feeling alright? You look pale, all of a sudden.” I didn’t reply, I could feel the ground moving under my feet. I focused on a spot on the counter, trying to steady myself.

“What’s the matter? Andrea?” I heard Victor’s voice as he came closer, his hands resting on my shoulders. I discretely shrugged his touch away. Mia didn’t notice, but Victor clearly did.

“Mia, the files you asked for are in that envelope. You don’t need me to see you out, do you?” I heard Victor say, his voice tense.

“No, it’s fine. Feel better, Andrea, okay?”

I nodded, wanting to make her go away as soon as possible. After a while, I heard the door close. I wondered how long it would take her to leave the building so I could leave as well, unnoticed. I released my grip from the counter and walked to the living room to get my phone. Victor followed me.

“Can you fill me in on what just happened?” Victor asked, simultaneously confused and annoyed.

“Why did you close Souvenir, Victor?” I faced him, giving him an accusatory look. “And don’t tell me it was because of Mr. Mills, because I know it wasn’t. It was because of her, wasn’t it? It didn’t make sense to keep it open, because she married another guy.”

Victor froze, his expression slightly panicked. I continued my tirade.

“What about your kidnapping? And being held captive for years? My trauma was spread all over Loveland, and you can’t bother sharing yours? I have to learn about it through your ex?”

“She is not my ex! We never had anything! I don’t even understand why you are so obsessed with her, she’s married! She’s off-limits!” Victor exploded.

“Oh, I’m painfully aware of that! If she was single you wouldn’t even look at me. She was nothing to you and still you shared all your life with her, opened a restaurant for her! Yet I sleep in your bed, practically share a life with you, and I’m kept in the dark. I’m the lesser evil. Why would you want me to move here in the first place?” My eyes were filled with tears. Victor’s were filled with anger.

“Don’t make this about me, you know this is not about me.” He fought back. “This is about your unwillingness to commit! This is about you not wanting to stand by my side and fight. I may not be verbal about a lot of things, Andrea, but I do notice them. And the moment that I asked you to move in, you’ve been evasive. You’re terrified to do this. I know that things went sour when you and Daniel moved in, but I’m not Daniel! And it disgusts me to be compared to him! I have been nothing but supportive! And I wonder if you truly want my support, because the minute things get hard, you look for reasons to walk away! Things got hard back in Portugal, and you ran to Loveland! You must be mentally packing by now!”

“Don’t act like you understand what I’ve been through! And don’t you dare use my abuse against me!” I almost screamed. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so enraged with Victor, and I could see him losing it too. And it was all so unfair! I was risking everything I fought so hard for just to be with him.

Victor paused, noticing he was indeed touching a very sensitive subject. He moved closer, but didn’t touch me, using his pleading eyes to connect with me.

“You’re giving up on us, Andrea. Don’t do this because things are getting harder. We can still solve this together.”

“Things are more than hard, Victor. My career is on the line, my trauma is juicy gossip, you haven’t been honest with me about your past. And some things can’t be solved. Did you tell your father the filthy immigrant can’t actually give him grandchildren? Did you ever consider it yourself? That you may want a child someday and I can’t give it to you? Maybe some things are just meant to crash and burn. Maybe we should cut our losses and call it a day.”

I could see the pain in Victor’s eyes when I spoke those last words. It mirrored the pain I felt when I said them. We had different opinions on that matter. As his history with Mia clearly showed, Victor would go to extreme lengths for something that really mattered to him, and I was one to pick my battles. The approaches were different, but both were right. They just weren’t compatible. Maybe Victor genuinely loved me and would stay strong by my side, but I couldn’t bear to make him go through so much hell.

Victor however, headstrong as he was, only saw his side of the equation, the only right side, in his opinion. And I understand he felt rejected. In retrospect, I also understand why the look in his eyes turned from pain to icy cold rage.

“Fine.” He said, his expression defying me, the wall put in place between us. “If you want to leave, then leave. Maybe your infertility is a silver lining, at least you’ll never leave a child behind when things get rough. Abandoning them like you are doing to me right now.”

I didn’t register the seconds that followed his statement, as I acted out of pure rage and instinct. I could only conclude what I had done when I felt my right hand tingle and saw Victor’s face turned to the side, his eyes closed, my fingers printed on his cheek.

I stood for a moment, wondering if it had been just a nightmare. Victor finally opened his eyes and looked at me, and the pain I saw in them was so deep that I couldn’t help but sob in desperation.

I couldn’t believe what had just happened. But it had happened. There was no way we could take it back.

Without a word, I gathered my things, tears streaming down my face, and walked to the door. Victor stood where he was, I didn’t expect him to follow me. Things had gone way too far.

That’s the thing with chain reaction machines, you are so distracted watching the contraption work, that you forget that you can actually stop it. Our relationship had just exploded in the ugliest of ways. The fragile string supporting the bowl had broken, and sand was spilled everywhere.

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