elytrafemme · 1 year ago
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the vast majority of the reason why i’ve abstained from getting a professional diagnosis is practical-- i already have a therapist (she just doesn’t like to diagnose, it’s not part of her practice but within her qualifications). it would fuck up my insurance in the long-term and complicate other systemic processes. i don’t need medication nor do i need accommodations so having a diagnosis wouldn’t really help me. it opens the floor to traumatic experiences, will likely cost a lot of money, and would again be trapped on my record for years upon years. 
but jesus christ, i wish i had half the confidence that other people can have with self-diagnosis. because even if i have my therapist basically stating that she thinks bpd explains several of my symptoms, and having said that the best way to explain my experiences to other people is by using bpd as a reference, i still cannot wholly convince myself that this is the issue. and i have researched for years and years so it isn’t that, i just. i need someone to look me in the eyes and tell me but if i get that, i get the rest of this too.
#nightmare.personal#it's also hard with BPD because. and i'm not saying this in a way of like ohhh haha it wasn't that bad [was objectively awful]#my childhood by any objective measurement Was Not Terrible#like yeah i have disorganized attachment patterns but that's iffy. it was non-abusive. things weren't great but they were damn good.#stuff just got messy once i turned eleven but by then you're basically old enough for that to not matter as much#but even then like. things are consistently Not Horrible for me i have lived a remarkably lucky life#and like there's the missing puzzle piece of it all but i'm beginning to suspect that whatever i imagine i repressed never truly happened#and if it did it wouldn't matter i'm never going to remember. so the point is like#yes the symptoms track yes it is the best explanation i've found to this#but there are still holes in this diagnosis and i'm never going to feel secure in it#and i'm exhausted and i just want to know that i have some kind of explanation#because even if it causes people to treat me kind of shitty at least they know why i act like this#but if that's not the right explanation and i have to go back to square one#having no kind of reasoning behind why i act so uncharacteristic very suddenly or why i get really hostile apropos of nothing#and then send you texts threatening sh before messaging again like hey do u wanna see this funny video#getting into relationships and treating them icily before jumping in so deep that they become my everything#i can't go back to the time where there was nothing to explain it. where people just didn't know why i acted like this#but i don't know if i've reached an actual explanation or if i'm just desperately searching for anything to fix this#and if anyone could tell me objectively in a way that i believed. that might destroy me but it could also fix this#neg#God i'm exhausted
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geekthefreakout · 9 months ago
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An Empirical Study of Sex and Efforts by A.Z. Fell (Annotations by A. J. Crowley): Part 1
Rating: Mature. If you're underage, I can't stop you from reading this but like... you shouldn't. Please don't interact with me about it.
Sex, as it happened, was nearly as awkward as actually speaking about feelings was, to Crowley's consternated surprise.
He'd thought that once he and Aziraphale had gotten all the blasted talking out of the way AND had saved the Earth a second time, it would all be easy. Tickety-boo, even.
The kissing had been alright- tremendously so, in fact, once they were both actively participating rather than one desperately begging the other not to leave. Also once they'd worked out the angle and force required to avoid painful clashing of teeth. It had seemed to Crowley that sex would follow- this was how most humans did things, and they both tended to enjoy the human experience.
Only- neither of them quite knew what to do. Aziraphale had thought that Crowley would have experience, what with being a demon and all. Only Crowley'd never been given to *that* sort of temptation. Meanwhile, Crowley had assumed Aziraphale would know what to do. Between the two of them, he was the hedonist, and what the heaven had he been doing in all those "gentleman's clubs" if not this??
(This line of inquiry had led to a long explanation of the history of the gavotte, interspersed with cheerful exclamations of "Never assume, dear! It makes an ass out of you and me!" Crowley had screamed venom into Aziraphale's favorite throw pillow in despair.)
Even so, Crowley had been certain they could figure it out. Aziraphale had shelves of books on the subject, and Crowley, though he lacked personal experience, certainly knew what "sexy" was. Or at the very least, he knew what it wasn't.
Sexy wasn't, he decided, standing buck naked in the cool air of Aziraphale's seldom-used bedroom, staring at themselves in the mirror while debating what sort of Effort they should make. But here they were.
"The trouble is, I'm not sure what I would like best." Aziraphale was saying thoughtfully, stroking his chin. "Anything you choose to manifest, my dear, will be lovely. But there are so many possibilities! So much variety! How does one decide?"
"Humans are usually stuck with the Effort they're born with." Crowley offered, having thrown himself dramatically onto the bed once he realized Aziraphale wasn't going to just pick something without proper discourse.
"Not all of them, though." Aziraphale fretted. "Nowadays they can switch with a surgery to what suits them better. And they enhance what they do have! I've received several emails offering to lengthen my--"
"Don't click on those, angel." Crowley groaned. He had invented the "grow your penis" spam email back in the 90s, and thought himself quite clever for it. "It's all rubbish."
"Well, even so. There are shapes which are more desirable. Combinations that work better. Variety in depth, length, hair, texture, function...." Aziraphale's hands went to his hips as he narrowed his eyes at the reflection of his shapeless groin. "I want to do this right."
"'M not sure there is a right way." Crowley said after a moment. "It's all down to preference, isn't it? Like how you take your tea."
"Perhaps there is not a right way, but there is surely a wrong way. Any way that could hurt you would be wrong." The angel's brow furrowed, and Crowley could tell that he was becoming genuinely frustrated.
"You won't hurt me, angel." Crowley assured, sitting up on the bed. He reached out a hand, and Aziraphale allowed him to take one of his and draw him close. "And I won't hurt you."
"I know you won't, dearest. I just... oh, I just want this to be perfect." Aziraphale sat next to Crowley on the bed now, holding both of his hands. "I have hurt you without meaning to so many times. Now that we have this, I mean to treat it with nothing but the highest regard."
Crowley had to kiss him for that. He let his hands run through his angels feathery curls as he drew him close and kissed him, softly, softly. He drank Aziraphale in the way he drank the finest of wines, caressed his face and shoulders reverently. He let the love he felt for his angel, which he had so often kept boxed away, flow from him freely, and he received Aziraphale's love in turn.
"We've hurt each other." He said softly when they finally broke apart. "But not anymore, yeah? We're just here, being an us."
"Just us," Aziraphale said, pressing his forehead to Crowley's. "And we need to decide how to present for our first time together. First times are important, you know."
"Fine." Crowley sighed. "Look, why don't we just... try all of it? We can each have a turn with each effort. We can even have both, if you like!"
"But our first--"
"Bollocks to 'first'." Crowley said. "Why should our first time mean more than our second or third? You're still playing by the rules, angel. We have as many times as we like. We have time to figure it out."
Aziraphale twisted his lips in one way, then another, clearly stopping himself from arguing about the romance of it all. Finally, he tilted his head, conceding.
"Very well." He hopped up from the bed, oblivious to Crowley leaning in to kiss him again. "We might as well make a proper study of it."
"Study???" Crowley's serpentine eyes widened as Aziraphale made his way to his desk, pulling out a large piece of paper and a marker. "Oh, come on...."
But it was no use- Aziraphale was busily drawing a chart with the marker, his bare bum wiggling as he hummed through his work.
Crowley eventually came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his angel's beloved waist even as he rolled his eyes at the chart he'd drawn up.
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"I suppose you're serious about this." Crowley mumbled, pressing a kiss to Aziraphale's pale shoulder.
"You think I'm being silly," Aziraphale pouted.
"You are. But... love when you're silly." Crowley hid his burning cheeks in Aziraphale's neck. "Least you're not listing positions out..."
"Oh, but I could!" Aziraphale said cheerfully. "I'm certain I have a copy of the Kama Sutra in the original Sanskrit- not signed by the author, but still quite original--"
Crowley groaned and squeezed his arms tighter around Aziraphale. The angel turned his head to kiss Crowley's temple.
"Perhaps another time?"
"Hngk." Crowley muttered, intent on kissing the idea out of Aziraphale's head. "I want a cunt first." Crowley declared against his angel's lips, and manifested one with a thought as Aziraphale turned to embrace him fully.
"You-- oh!" Aziraphale flushed as he found himself staring at the mound that had appeared between the demon's legs, the red scales on Crowley's belly giving way to wiry red curls. All thoughts of charts and positions flew from his mind. "I knew you'd be lovely."
"Shut up." Crowley hissed, his hands tight on Aziraphale's shoulders as the angel dipped curious fingers into the folds. "We've got a study to do. Data to gather."
"Quite right, too." Aziraphale said, and kissed him again.
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eisdendrobium · 2 years ago
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do you love me?
pairings : kazuha x f!reader summary : you couldn't show your feelings towards kazuha and kazuha is starting to doubt your feelings towards him
warning : ooc kazuha
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"the moon is beautiful isn't it?" kazuha said as he gaze towards the night sky, hands traveling towards your waist, pulling you closer towards his embrace.
"...yeah"
silence follows after as the two of you just stares at the sky. "it's getting late don't you think? i think we should head back, we have commissions to do tomorrow, remember?" you move away from his embrace yet you didn't remove your gaze from the sky.
kazuha lets out a small cough as he stood up "yeah, you're right, let's head back" he enters his room through the window and helped you in right after "come, i'll take you home, it's dangerous to go out by yourself in the middle of the night" kazuha gives you a small smile and reach out his hand.
"um.. no need, i could go by myself, you should probably sleep now, thank you kazu" you say, looking at his eyes once in a while before settling your gaze at his bed again.
his smile drops slightly as he straighten his posture "oh, alright. um.. take care" he tries to give you a smile again.
you gave him an awkward smile in exchange and a small "thanks" before heading out of his home.
the next day when you went to the guild you could see kazuha talking to beidou about something serious -measuring by the look beidou gives towards the shorter male- seeing you walking towards them beidou immediately signs kazuha that a new presence is here. kazuha stops talking and turns around to look at you, surpirsed "oh hey! didn't see you coming" he said, doe eyes looking at yours with the sun rays reflecting in his eyes- making him looks ethereal.
you gave him an awkward smile with a small "yeah" and took your daily commission from katherine.
without you realizing, beidou was already gone. with curiosity rising inside you, you decides ask kazuha about what they were talking about but kazuha just brush it off, saying it was beidou asking his advice on their ship. you just nod at his statement, not believing a single thing he just say.
after receiving the commission rewards from katherine you immediately see beidou rushing towards you and kazuha "let's go" kazuha looks at you for a while "i'm going to have lunch with beidou today, if you don't mind,," you nod at him "sure, i'll eat with yoimiya" you smile and went towards the tavern where yoimiya was seated, laughing at something the bartender said.
"hey" you greet her as you arrive, she looks at you "whoa! what happen to you? you look like your soul had been sucked out by a ghost." yoimiya comment
"i- today's commission are challenging okay? i didn't get enough sleep yesterday"
when you were almost finish with your lunch kazuha went to your table and said that he wanted to talk to you tonight, which you agree on. he didn't looked that happy then. when he left you see that yoimiya seems like she knows something "what do you think he wanted to talk about?" you asked, "..no idea, maybe he wants to give you a present?" she answered with her cheery voice
----
night time came and you went to your and kazuha's usual spot. "so.. what did you want to talk about?" you asked. kazuha let out a deep breath as he prepares himself.
"[name], we've been dating for 3 months, and the whole time we're dating i just- i don't feel like you love me the way i love you. at first i thought you were still shy but it has been 3 months and i still don't feel your love towards me. i mean i don't mean to doubt your feelings but i can't help it. and i've tried, i've tried so hard to show you my feelings but you just never show it back, and it made me question things you know? so i thought, before things gets worse i should talk to you about it. like do you actually love me [name]? or did you just agree to be my girlfriend out of pity? please. .. i need explanation." kazuha plead with desperation in his eyes.
you let out a small chuckle as you look at him with a look he can't describe "i knew this day would come, and you're right. i rarely show my affection towards you. but let me make one thing clear first kazu, truly i love you from the deepest part of my heart." you stop for a while, not used to the feeling and not comfortable with the topic
"i know i'm not the girlfriend material you've hoped for, but i just can't.. . . show my affection towards someone i love, like ever. my parents often says that i was heartless, that i could never have the ability to love someone, but that's not true. i am capable of loving, and i love you. so damn much. but- i just can't show it. no matter how hard i wanted to sweet talk you, say i love you, express what i'm feeling, i just can't. the words wont come out, so i just stay silent all those time. i'm sorry, i should've told you when you first asked me, but i didn't. so, if you want us to end.. i totally understand." you just stare at his shoes the whole time you were talking.
there was silence after that, seems like kazuha is processing what you just say.
"thank you for explaining y/n, but i think i need some time by myself to think about this- about us. i- when i'm ready i promise i will talk to you" kazuha had that apological tone when he spoke
you took a sharp breath as you smile and look at him "yeah! it's totally fine, i understand." he nods and says thank you. you look at the ground before looking up at him again "take as many time as you need kazu, but please remember that i do love you. and if you want to sort things out with me, i'm totally fine with it" your face was flushed with embarrassment as you say those words, but things have to be said for the better, for you really do love him.
"yeah, i will. promise" kazuha smiled and he guided the both of you back to the dorm.
reblogs are greatly appreciated! and feel free to comment what you think ^^
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giselsann-opencommissions · 2 years ago
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Ominis: Sebastian, please listen to me!
* Ominis tried to keep up with his friend, who had gone far enough from the house to reach an old tree near the river *
*Sebastian finally stopped and turned to see him, still with his annoyed expression*
Sebastian: I'm not interested in what you have to tell me. I know what I saw, ominis.
*Ominis breathed tired and then answered*
Ominis: I know, I kissed Anne. But I only did it because she really wanted to experience what a kiss was like for once in her life.
Sebastian: You are shameless, ominis.
Ominis: Sebastian, you know me! I would never play with something like that! * he exclaimed desperately and then under his sad gaze * with each passing day Anne loses more hope of healing * I shake my head embarrassed * And when he asked me this, I couldn't just say no. I feel like I would have regretted it later.
*Sebastián looked at him seriously and in that he got closer to him. He couldn't help but feel annoyed even with that explanation. Besides, he couldn't believe that ominis thought that Anne had no cure, and that she would one day leave them. However, his annoyance easily increased when he remembered the image of the two of them kissing, but why?
Sebastián: Me, I can understand why Anne wanted to do it. But still, tsk, it annoys me that you got in so easily, plus I know we'll find a cure soon, you two are rushing!
Ominis: Sebastian
Sebastian: Anne will be cured, she will return to Hogwarts and she will be able to meet other boys, I'm sure.
Ominis: And if it isn't?
Sebastian: I know it will be like that. Don't start with your negativity, Ominis.
*Ominis sighed resignedly and nodded slowly. Actually he didn't have as many hopes as Sebastian, he was more realistic. However he knew he couldn't make him change his mind *
Sebastian: Well?
Ominis: What?
Sebastian: Do you like it, Anne?
Ominis: Of course not! I mean, it's not that I dislike it. I like it, but not in a romantic way. Anne has always been like a sister to me.
Sebastian: Mm, good. Then don't you dare kiss her anymore, got it? Even if she asks you for that, or something more intimate...
The ominis face reddened again with shame. How could he think that?
Ominis: Sebastian, by Merlin. Don't be so rude. I would never do
Sebastián: If you were so willing to kiss her, who knows what else!
Ominis: You don't have to worry about anything, Sebastian. This will not be repeated... *he said honestly*
Sebastián: I hope so... And did you like the kiss?
Ominis: What? And now why do you ask me that? *asked nervously*
Sebastian: Just answer.
Ominis: Me, I don't know, I don't mean anything. maybe?
Sebastian: Maybe?
Ominis: It was just a simple kiss. No feelings involved. It was nice, but strange at the same time * he confessed * And I won't say more.
*Sebastián felt strange, he didn't even know who he was upset with*
Sebastian: Fine, so you don't feel anything for her. She's a relief *he said out loud*
Ominis: Ah, I'm sorry. I didn't know that you would think that she was such a bad option for Anne * the blond said somewhat offended *
* Sebastian realized what he had said. But now he couldn't stop. A strange feeling was making him say nonsense nonsense *
Sebastián: Of course you are a terrible option. In fact, she didn't think you were good enough for her, or for anyone else!
"No. Why the hell did I say that?"
*There was a long silence. And the voice of ominis sounded hurt*
Ominis: Really, is that what you think of me?
Sebastián: Me, don't ominis, I'm sorry, I don't know why
Ominis: I think I've heard enough, Sebastian. You made it very clear that I'm too little for everyone. I better go *he raised his wand and started running away*
Sebastian: No, wait ominis!
"No. What am I doing?"
* Desperate he threw a Trip Jinx at him causing him to stumble and fall on the grass. his wand flew away *
Sebastian: Ominis, I'm sorry! *he ran to the boy, trying to explain his confused feelings*
Ominis: Ugh, get away from me!
* From his fall he hurt his knee and now he was desperately crawling forward, trying to find his wand to see *
Sebastián: Please ominis, I didn't want to
*Sebastián was behind him, following him and trying to calm him down. He now he felt terrible about this.
Sebastian: Ominis!
* Fortunately, Ominis managed to find his wand and when he felt Sebastian touch his he turned his shoulder on the ground and pointed his wand at her *
Ominis: Depulso!
* The teenager's body flew into a tree, colliding with his back and falling to the ground in pain. He immediately tried to go after him, but stopped when he saw him running out of sight *
Sebastian: Tsk... I think I'm jealous... *he lowered his head in embarrassment*
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raindancejodi · 1 year ago
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Halloween Movie Watchlist
Hi guys! It's spooky season so I'm trying to come up with a list of horror movies and Halloween movies to watch to celebrate! I want to watch one movie a night, and I want to watch mostly movies I've never seen before!! I've got a small list of the classics/my favorites:
Hocus Pocus - if you're American (or I guess just acitve on Tumblr) and have been paying attention to Halloween media at all in the last decade, you've definitely heard of this one! In case you haven't: a teenager accidentally reawakens 3 child-eating witches and must stop them before they eat the youth of every child in town. Sounds a bit scary like that, but it's one of the absolute best family Halloween movies around
The Conjuring - my favorite horror movie ever! So scary, so well acted. The actual story is a bunch of scammers (with the Warren's being the biggest liars/scammers of them all), but the movie's great! Synopsis: a family moves into a new house and scary/supernatural things begin to occur, seemingly focusing on the mother.
Halloweentown - back to the realm of 'family friendly', this is another absolute banger from my childhood. A teenage girl learns she's a witch and must use her new powers to save Halloweentown, a magical place where Halloween is 24/7
The Vigil - I watched this fairly recently and I was very impressed! A Jewish horror movie about a young man who must sit watch over a dead body (which is a Jewish custom I'm forgetting the name of), but supernatural forces begin to haunt him
The Nightmare Before Christmas - back to the more fun ones, this movie is probably the most quintessential 'Halloween movie' in my mind, I think I've watched it every year since I was born! Jack Skellington, the king of Halloween, grows weary of celebrating the same holiday over and over. When he discovers a portal to Christmastown, he gets filled with excitement over something new and decides to try his hand at being king of that instead
The Possession - another Jewish horror story about a Dybbuk box, a box containing a malicious spirit, that finds its way into the hands of a young girl and begins terrorizing her family. Based on a true story! Based here being the operative word, but the owners of the box do seem to consistently say they were genuinely afraid of the box (although no deaths have been attributed to it as far as I know)
Fear Street 1994, 1978, and 1666: technically 3 movies, but all part of a series based off of the books by R. L. Stine. Phenomenal movies, I loved everything about them and want to own them on DVD. This story follows a group of mostly teens as they uncover the truth of the curse of Shadyside, a town where serial killers seem remarkably common. Also has excellent LGBTQ rep (sapphic) and genuinely some of the best storytelling and 'unraveling' I have ever seen (in my opinion)
The Exorcist - a cult classic for a reason, the movie that kicked off the exorcism movie craze that continues to this day (The Exorcist: Believer, anyone?). A young girl begins to display horrifying changes in personality and her mother is desperate to find answers, so she reaches out to a priest. I like this movie a lot, but it may seem kinda hokey to those more used to the more 'modern' special effects. I also love this one because they don't let themselves get bogged down on the specifics of the 'why' and the 'how', bad things happen to good people for no reason all the time (the explanation at the end of Hereditary really undid the whole movie for me)
Halloween - it's literally called Halloween, how could I not include it? This one is my favorite of the franchise because I, personally, really dislike gore (specifically painful body horror like in Saw and later installments). Not that there's anything wrong with those types of movies, just not my personal cup of tea. This movie is much slower and much more thriller type than you might expect if your only knowledge of the franchise is the latest (2020 +) movies, but it is masterful in its suspense and its overbearing, black, ominous, foreboding feeling it evokes.
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) - can't have Halloween without Dracula! This is my favorite of the adaptations, I love the music, the sets, the casting, the costuming. It's beautiful and grandiose and suffocating and terrifying (and not totally SFW so maybe look up some details before watching with kids) and also a bit long so keep that in mind. A real estate agent travels to remote Romania to settle a land deal for a wealthy recluse, only to find his life and the lives of those around him irrevocably changed when the mysterious man takes a keen interest in his fiancé
That's 12 if you count Fear Street as 3, or only 9 if you wanna watch them all together (as I usually do, I really love those movies), and I'm gonna work out a specific order if I get a few more suggestions. Please add on and give me your ideas! I'm trying to focus more on Halloween movies - some connection to the holiday or more 'traditional' Halloween monsters like vampires, witches, werewolves, and ghosts - but there's more than a few non-Halloween movies on there so don't be afraid to add your fav scary movie too!
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official-zerg-fangirl · 1 year ago
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How about an Au where kerrigan doesn't get kidnapped in new gettysburg by the Zerg but somehow gets a connection with the overmind and is human up until the end of Broodwar.
(thanks so much for playing along with my silliness)
ALRIGHT SO FIRST OFF-
There's two fucking directions we can go with this: what would Blizzard write, and what would I write. this is actually a dichotomy I find myself looking at sometimes, usually when it comes to the reasoning behind certain character choices. (for example: Blizzard's explanation for Izsha is probs something like "the campaign would be boring if Kerrigan had no one to talk to", but *my* explanation is a deranged rant about Kerrigan's lingering humanity)
SO let's go over both possibilities. fuck it. It's 11pm and I'm finally ready to explore the spicy idea you've presented to me.
Blizzard Version
Blizzard has a comic booky attitude when it comes to writing, I've noticed. Not always, but enough times to be notable. which is to say, I don't think they're gonna get bogged down with details like "what the fuck does she eat on an abandoned space platform" and will be more focused in making her look like a badass for surviving the full might of the Swarm.
first: how does she connect to the Overmind? such a feat of tapping into an alien hivemind is in and of itself a moment of badassery, and Blizzard will probably want this Overmind connection to be the very thing that saves her. which makes this tricky, bcs, as I pointed out, you'd think it'd telegraph her presence to the zerg.
you'd think.
but what if it didn't.
what if she had figured out a way to slip her mind in, used her telepathy to 'listen in' on the psionic communications of the Swarm, and then, could covertly send untraceable thoughts along the same frequency. and she initially uses this to misdirect the zerg, give false orders.
then she begins outright commanding them in this way.
then the cerebrates notice. and call out to her.
this would be the new Zerg campaign tutorial. instead of escorting the chrysalis, you're discovering and unraveling the hidden rogue element that seems capable of communicating with you directly. and bcs Blizzard did this in real life, I think they'd want to conceal Kerrigan's identity as this mysterious rogue element up until like mission 4, wherein she unveils her true identity to... Raynor. who's been dreaming about her. because just like in canon, she called out to him.
but before she leaves Char (don't ask how she got onto Char), the Overmind intercepts her with... an offer. idk lets say blizz planned the Amon shit from the beginning (It could go either way tbh like maybe they had this all planned out from the start maybe they didnt maybe something in between - whatever!), so okay the Overmind is looking for a free agent that can break the Zerg free of their master's control. this rogue element is a pain in the ass, but she's also an opportunity.
by this point, Kerrigan's learned a lot about the zerg. A lot of shit she's been keeping to herself (but you the player know she's learned this stuff - in the mission briefings, she's had extensive dialogues whenever she anonymously interjected herself into the communications. angry interjections. she'd been listening, and she's furious). But she knows they're not simply a mindless swarm. she knows the humans are ultimately just a step in a grand process. these aliens are actually hunting down the Protoss. they just need something to crack Aiur.
... and that's what the Overmind offers to her. The Zerg will leave these Terrans alone - no, they will aid her friend and wage war on the Dominion. So long as she helps them reach Aiur.
[Raynor voice] "alright Sarah, so we've gotta... Sarah? Sarah, where'd you go?"
and anyways the rest of the campaign has a human ghost making a deal with the devil more directly in order to fulfill her desperate need for revenge. in Brood War, she's commanding the zerg in basically the same way she does in the first half of HotS, but with the added bonus of every time people interact with her, she looks and sounds ever so slightly less human, as the zerg infection slowly seeps in...
...
... Aight, so what would I do?
My Version
let's make something clear: Kerrigan surviving New Gettysburg definitely does not mean she's out of the fucking woods. let us fucking remember she's "killed" because her evac is G O N E. She's on a fucking space platform being overrun by bugs attracted to the scent of her goddamn psionics she is so deeply and unequivocably screwed. if she manages to establish a psionic connection to the overmind? oh that's just worse: she's telegraphing her presence directly to the hive mind! She can't hide, she can't run, and she sure as fuck can't fight.
don't worry, I have a secret weapon: it's an absolutely deranged concept that I originally wrote for that fanfic I mention way too often on this blog. in fact I think I've mentioned this exact concept a few times.
you know, the one where I have decided that the Zerg can't infect a ghost nonconsensually?
"m'am what the fuck" hear me the fuck out: there was a short story. Now it's been a while since the wiki dive where I read the synopsis of that story, but if I recall correctly, the main character was a psionic human, who Kerrigan had tried to infect, and there was like some parallels drawing they did, and then like, it failed or some shit, like instead of being the super smart and fully psionic infected human like Kerrigan is, our tragic hero instead just became a zombie like every other infected terran. ... I think that's how it went? and the story didn't fully elaborate on why, but listen to me. listen.
y'all do realize the zerg hive mind operates on psionics right? that's why psionic disruptors fuck with them so hard. by the way, this is also why "de-zerged" Kerrigan is capable of commanding the zerg - it's not actually a unique biological feature, it's a specific psychic frequency that other species just haven't figured out how to access (and if they have, they're not recognized as sufficient authority to be making commands).
but like okay. it's psionics.
and in HotS, we see that zerg do in fact have a sort of individuality and are not in fact under constant direct mind control. it's just that the vast majority of zerg units have animal-level intellects and have the instinct to respect and defer to beings that communicate to them with sufficient psionic power... or maybe just the right psionic "passcode".
so... maybe that's why assimilating a psionic is so problematic. a psionic has better standing to resist assimilation. think of it like this: zerg react to projected power. to the zerg, and to any normal assimilated human, the commands of something like the overmind are speaking like. super fucking loud. like big booming voice.
but let's say you're a psionic. and you're pretty accustomed to that type of booming voice, because you can make it yourself. are you going to bow to this king when you're as strong as he is? I didn't think so.
so let's say this is true. the overmind cannot assimilate kerrigan until she agrees to it. at the same time, the overmind is like "alright but we sure as fuck shouldn't kill her bcs she's a really strong psionic (this is canon btw - kerrigan's an absurdly strong psionic. again, Blizzard is kinda comic booky sometimes), and I kinda want strong psionics, like when would i get this opportunity again? hrm... I'll just let her hang around this platform until she realizes joining us is a good idea."
so the overmind reaches out, tells her to surrender and join the zerg. Kerrigan, spooked out of her mind that something impossibly ancient is talking inside her head, says fuck no and shoots holes into a few more hydralisks. overmind's like. "okay. I can be patient. good luck."
and thus begins this intensely awkward prolonged period, where kerrigan tries her best to get off of here, while intimately aware of the fact that she's only alive because she's been *spared*. all the while, she's paying attention to the voice inside her head... and then she unlocks the 'frequency' of zerg communications.
then she figures out how to take advantage of it.
now we get into a scenario pretty similar to blizzard's version, wherein Kerrigan becomes this "rogue element" that the Overmind is tolerating, and who is still the key to them reaching Aiur, but this time her relationship to the Overmind is much more antagonistic. She's trying to take advantage of her connection to the zerg, not work with them. and the Overmind lets her "commandeer" even an entire brood (Zasz died and she said "oh cool can i have it"), because what Kerrigan doesn't realize is that the Overmind actually totally wants her to get used to commanding the Zerg.
after all, this is the destiny it laid out for her. She will become a fine queen, once she truly accepts her future...
by the point of Brood War, she's opened up to Raynor about her awkward relationship with the Zerg, and both of them are understandably worried. However, it seems like her power over them is useful, and nothing bad's happening... yet.
and then a diplomatic fiasco at Shakuras. that one protoss didn't trust her wisdom, and she lashed out.
her anger seems to grow as she brings the scattered zerg under her thrall. she realizes her body is changing... frankly, she's let the zerg infect her, bit by bit. she has nothing to fear from it, after all. The Overmind made it clear that, as a ghost, her will could not be subjugated, and now that the Overmind is dead, there's nothing for her will to be subjugated to, anyways... so why not use the zerg to improve her capabilities?
Raaynor has objections to this. and then he has objections when she betrays her former allies. he wonders when his friend turned into a monster... not realizing, of course,
nothing's changed in her at all.
she's just come to truly understand the unconditional loyalty of the Zerg. the respect they give her as their queen. the power they offer. the ability to exact vengeance on those who wronged her (and oh so many have wronged her).
Humanity's never really fit her, anyways.
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So I've been debating how to ask this but at this point I'm just going to rip off the bandage so to speak😂Ask the Pack: if any of the male omegas were to ever get pregnant, how would the birthing and breastfeeding journey go? My curiosity has to be quenched I'm so curious 😂❤
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"Oh god." Hyunjin groans, covering his face with his hands and shrinking into Changbin's side. "I don't want to think about that."
Felix laughs, scooting off his own couch to go to the luna's rescue, snaking his arms around his middle and tugging him to his chest, patting his hair.
"There, there, Jinnie. It's all just hypothetical. We all know you'd never be down for any of that in real life."
"Good. So long as we're clear." Hyunjin complains, his voice muffled, face buried in Felix's chest. "Because I love you all, but I will never carry and birth a child with my body."
"I'd do it." Jeongin shrugs, looking entirely nonplussed, sitting next to Minho. He glances at the older members of the pack. "When I was older you know? I wouldn't mind."
"Okay." You laugh at the way Hyunjin is still clinging to Felix for safety, and motion to the other two omegas. "Then Lixie and Innie can answer this question. Jinnie can sit this one out."
Hyunjin gives you a desperately grateful look.
"Um-" Jeongin looks helplessly at Felix, who rolls his eyes good naturedly and sits up straighter beside Hyunjin.
"I've done research." The older omega starts, looking slightly sheepish now, even as he twines his tiny fingers with Hyunjin's longer ones. "Not just on baby names, like we talked about before, but on everything."
He hesitates, and Chan nods at him encouragingly. "Go on, Lixie."
"I like to be prepared." The omega continues, looking down at his hands now, fiddling with Hyunjin's fingers in his own. "So I've done a lot of reading on the whole process, just so when it happens, I know what to expect."
You can sense the omega floundering a little, and you jump in to help, offering him a soft smile as you say, "Yeah, we've talked about it a lot actually-Felix and I. Considering we would be the most probable members of the pack to carry and birth the pups. We definitely decided we really like the idea of home birth."
Felix nods, warming up now, his expression growing slightly excited at your direction. "Yeah, getting to stay with your pack, in a place you're familiar with definitely sounds much better than having to give birth in the sterile environment of a hospital."
"That scares the shit out of me." Changbin interjects, his expression pinched, his voice low. "What if something goes wrong?"
Felix reaches across Hyunjin to pat the alpha's hand reassuringly. "Don't worry, hyung. They have special midwives who have trained for anything and everything. They'd be here with us, every step of the way."
"It's like having the doctor and nurse in your home with you, at your side." You add, offering Changbin an affectionate smile, even as he seems to relax a bit under Felix's touch and your explanation. "They have all the equipment needed, everything a hospital would have, and all the same training, they just bring it to you instead of you going to them."
"Plus, we could have a pool!" Felix exclaims, and you laugh at his sudden burst of obvious enthusiasm. He smiles sheepishly and tones down his voice a little. "Sorry. I just really like the thought of a water birth. All my research says it's so much easier on your and the baby's bodies."
"Oh my god." Jeongin's eyes go wide, his voice slightly teasing. "We could have swimming contests while we wait."
"See who can hold their breath the longest!" Jisung announces, already nodding, and Jeongin leans over to give him a high five.
"It's a blow up pool the size of our front room." Minho interrupts them dryly. "Not exactly Olympic length regulation."
"Plus. There'd be like-" Hyunjin shudders, visibly disgusted, and his voice drops to a whisper. "-stuff in it."
"Birth is gross." Jeongin complains, and Chan gives him a sharp look.
"Birth is beautiful."
"Anyway." Felix rolls his eyes, clearly biting back a smile, hugging Hyunjin closer to his side once more. "As far as breastfeeding goes, I don't think I'm opposed at all? I'd love to try, but I also think it would depend on my supply and a lot of other factors. My main concern overall is that the pup is getting enough nutrition, regardless of feeding method. That's first and foremost."
You nod in agreement. "Agreed."
"Plus, did you know when you breastfeed, your nipples grow to like the size of slices of salami?" Jisung remarks offhandedly, sticking his sucker back in his mouth and staring Hyunjin down blankly.
Hyunjin visibly balks.
"God, I hate that."
"Yeah, so would we."
"Speak for yourself." Jeongin shrugs, a wicked grin coming across his face. "I love salami."
Jisung rolls his eyes and smirks. "Yeah? Do you like sausage too?"
"Of course I do."
"Ha. Gay."
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conjured-osteon · 2 years ago
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Hiatus
{-Kicks rocks an mumble grumbles- I SWEAR this account was fully intended to have more activity but I'll be going on a Hiatus till further notice. If curious, I've added more under the cut but to keep it short'n'simple; Rough start to the year that only continued hasn't helped my creativity an instead stressed me out. (Triggers in the Tags, just in case.)}
{Starting this explanation on a softer note, I find myself having a hard time focusing on my lovely characters an this blog. Not to say I'm intending to get rid of it! But when you get nervous trying to reach out to others or don't get responded to it can be a bit disheartening an I never know what to do as a plan B. (Plus I know we all have lives outside of this. I'm just an unfortunately nervous person an sometimes the Logical Thinking gets bopped by the What If's) But I also have Bouncing Interests so at times my drive will go from full throttle to Zero without any warning because something else has gripped me like a vice.
I have been desperately wanting to work on the blog but as mentioned above, lack of interaction kills the motivation an leaves it kinda stressful cause I dunno what I can do to do better, especially when not wanting to be a pester or bother anyone. Otherwise I HAVE met some wonderful people who are a delight to chat/plot with and I am so, so, so sorry I've been inactive the past month :'D I take responsibility for that radio silence of mine.
And onto rougher notes... New Years Eve I had to say goodbye to my childhood dog. She lived a good, long life an it's still upsetting not seeing her around after nearly 15 years. Holidays already grate me so the addition only made it worse and then some other details surrounding it just, made it especially bitter for me. I've suffered depressing/anxiety fueling dreams involving her almost every night since. Following as a few days ago; one of my cats passed away. Another example of old age but losing a pet never comes any easier over the years.
Around December is when my mental state really started taking a nosedive, one I thought was going to be a temporary thing seeing as I was working odd hours for events from my usual shifts, not resting or eating properly Truth be told I'm bad at that in general bUT, grieving over the approaching vet visit on top of other stressors that came during the Holiday season. A part of the mindset I was thinking it would pass was due to the fact I don't register things that have happened/are happening immediately, an so I just guessed I was having one of my delayed responses from other things and handling present stress... Cept, it continued on in waves for several weeks in comparison to a day or two. Aaaand earlier today while I was working, I got so stuck in my own head, so tightly wound up by meaningless thoughts, arguments with not purpose and physically over stimulated into self directed aggression by getting MF'in' hiccups that I ended up reaching out to a Cr!s!s Hotline when I found I couldn't even make myself contact friends/family. My strongest Rational and Logical Thought was I needed to talk to someone before my predicament made itself truly hazardous. Immediately after, I called my partner so he'd be aware. I'm doing better at the current moment, quite chilled out actually an I fully intend to bring this all up with my Therapist this week.
I hate worrying others and I falter to express what's going on due to the always hovering thought of I'm just looking for attention, or I'll be ruining another person's day because I'm being a child. Something I've struggled with for a long time that I'm hoping-- Trying, very hard to work through.
Soooo yeah- I guess this is me saying I need to step back for my mental health. I'm still so bummed out by having to do this but I really, really want this to be a fun space I can look forward too at the end of my day without my own nagging negativities getting in the way of it.
DMs will continue to be open but I'll be much more MIA from here than I was prior, this time with reason behind it.}
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deerydear · 1 year ago
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I feel an impulse to vomit into the world. Rather than sit, digest, use the nutrients of life to nourish me... to figure out anything. I wonder what it was that gave me an upset stomach. Psycho-bulimic.
It's been a habit I've let linger for years. I don't know why... There's these lyrics:
Somethin' filled up my heart with nothin', someone told me not to cry. But now that I'm older, my heart's colder, and I can see that it's a lie. Children wake up, hold your mistake up, before they turn the summer into dust. If the children don't grow up, our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up. We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms turnin' every good thing to rust. I guess we'll just have to adjust. With my lightnin' bolts a glowin' I can see where I am goin' to be when the reaper, he reaches and touches my hand. With my lightnin' bolts a glowin' I can see where I am goin' You'd better look out below!
Enforced amnesia.
What did I eat? I don't remember, because I threw it up, so it wouldn't become part of my body. I can't search my indexes... until one little leaflet left behind peeks itself out, so I get the craving to go searching for it. I just want to look like I'm eating.
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I like it when my psychoanalytical landscape rolls together so perfectly. Looking at it from this peak, it's so.....
Of course, it always does.... It just depends on whether I make that choice to climb the mountain to see......
I made up a story for my own amusement, when I was thirteen... It goes that my consciousness was actually a blood-thirsty robot which has ripped apart a little girl, and taken her place in life. It honestly, made no..... physical sense, but it didn't need to. It spoke of a spiritual story. In that sense, it was true. What do you do, if you are Buffalo Bill..... but you were already born female? What is your objective, if not to skin someone and take their place? What if you already are them? Well, is there anywhere to go? NO! FLAY YOUR OWN SKIN OFF! THEN WEAR IT! PRETEND YOU ARE SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT! YOU ARE THE PERVERTED DESTROYER!
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...but none of this makes sense. If you are something desirable, why wouldn't you be content with it?
Answer: You just don't get it. You don't know the hunger... the desperation... the need. I needed a story. I needed an explanation. No, I didn't... I wanted it. I didn't need to say anything to anyone. I didn't need to present myself at my worst... but I thought it would be funny... ironic, even. Now I'm sitting here, writing it all out for your and my own shock and horror.... like I'm some creepy guy telling a creepy story. I can be whatever I want. Why? I don't know, man. I was raised atheist, but maybe there was something to the idea of 'devil music' and violent video-games making violent kids. I mean, you see all the school-shootings we have now. Is there just a dejected sigh? Is it even respectful to say, "You were right", or just mourn silently along with the rest of you?
I should clarify that I know everyone has free will. Little incentives are placed in our paths, to see if we'll go for them.
People can make the choices you know are wrong. You can make the choices you know are wrong. That's free will. That's the bloody reality of it. I have my own blood on my hands, and I used to scream it every moment I was awake.
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Beyond all this, is the illusion of life. The dunya..... Is it more interesting to get caught up in the chaotic bloodshed of the world? The ripping and tearing like a pack of hungry maenads.... ...but...
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No more gilded bridles...
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"You eat with your eyes, first..." Yes. What does it mean.. to blindfold oneself, and eat blindly?
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Quantity over quality!
The Koran frequently tells us that the life of this world is ephemeral, either in so many words, or in parables such as the following: And strike for them the similitude of the life of this world: It is as water that We send down out of heaven, and the plants of the earth mingle with it, and in the morning it is straw that the winds scatter. (18:45) The Koran insists that dedicating oneself to straw is to squander away one's life and to dissipate one's human substance. People should not devote themselves to something that is utterly undependable. They should not act as if life's meaning is found in the affairs of this world, or as if experienced phenomena were anything other than the signs of God. Reality is not exhausted by what we see with our eyes. In short, the Koran says, do not be deluded by appearances: The life of this world is naught but a sport and a diversion.(18:45) Surely those who look not to encounter Us, and who are content with the life of this world and at peace with it, and those who are heedless of Our signs, those—their refuge is the Fire. (10:7)
�� Sachiko Murata and William Chittick, The Vision of Islam, 1994
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The one thing I like about having a deep voice (from doing steroids) is......... I feel like the Minotaur. Don't do steroids. Notice how I said 'One'! Put it all on the scales, and the unenjoyable things will outweigh the enjoyable. I think the funny thing is that all of these are just sense-objects to try to point at some higher mental experience, an imagination... an ebb and flow of the waters of the mind. Your mind may be completely different, and these may conjure up different bouquets of thought.
Maybe this is the Devil's music, which I play from my flute...
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Question: What happens if you eat the Devil's fruit, while telling yourself you'll vomit it out again?
Does something remain?
What happens if you do it, and you do it repeatedly? What if you just keep doing it? What changes? What could change?
Why do it?
"To know what it tastes like."
It tastes bitter, and burnt... like ashes. It leaves you wishing to be dead more than anything. That is not romantic.
...but I know how you seem to be obsessed with those unsolvable riddles.
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"You will be cursed to eat all things."
Agni, enraged at Brighu’s curse, asked, “O Brahmana, why this rashness against me who only spoke the truth? A witness who misrepresents facts will have ruined his ancestors and descendants up to seven generations on either side. Even if one remains silent when questioned, the effects are the same.
“The butter that is poured on me during rituals appeases the Devas and Pitris. The rites of Darsha (performed on Amavasya) and Paurnamása (performed on full-moon day) respectively feed the Pitris and Devas. As the ghee poured on me is consumed by them, I am considered their mouth. How can I, who feed them, become an eater of all things?”
Saying thus, Agni subsequently withdrew himself from all places, causing discomfort to all living beings because of the loss of sacrificial fire.
This put the other gods in a bind, as there could be no religious activities without Agni. So the other gods began looking for him.
Agni had first hid himself in the ocean. But, because of his fiery being, the ocean got too hot for the creatures in it. The frogs decided to take up the matter with the gods on behalf of their fellow sea creatures, and told the celestial beings where Agni was hiding. Agni was angry and cursed the frogs to lose their sense of taste.
The fire god then hid in a big banyan tree, where a passing elephant spotted him and informed the gods. Furious, Agni cursed the elephant to have a short tongue. He then took refuge in a Shami tree. A bird saw him there and tweeted his hiding place to the gods. Agni cursed the bird to have a tongue that would be curved inside.
Eventually, the gods were able to track down the blazing deity and placate him enough to come back.
Brahma summoned Agni and said, “This decision of yours to abstain from sacrifices does not befit your stature. You will remain eternally pure, and will not be reduced to someone who eats all promiscuously. Only the flame from your viler parts of the body will be a consumer of all things. Everything burnt by your flames will become pure. Make the words of the rishi come true, while continuing to receive the offerings on behalf of the Devas and Pitris”
Agni replied “so I will”. And everyone rejoiced as from then on the rishis were able to continue the rituals as before.
But what about all the creatures Agni had cursed? They were blessed by the gods for helping them; the frogs were given the skill to move comfortably even in darkness, the elephants would never be be hindered by their tongue to eat anything they wanted, and the birds were blessed with the gift of singing!
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I am the fire, says the fire. My body is a graveyard, says the landscape. You’re welcome, says the landscape.
....is suffering love?
Is more attention actually paid to us when we suffer?
Didn't Pavlov's dogs stop salivating after enough times of not being fed?
Ring-ring... Ring-ring...
Hello?
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goldenlevi · 2 years ago
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Walls
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a blur (?) based on the very popular song, Iris. I was listening to it and a light switched on inside my brain screaming BILLY no warnings (fluff, a hint of angst? foreshadowing? idk this turned out to be a bit different) - I've been back on my stranger things bs bc season 4 was amazing - you check my other works here 🥺🥰
•••
The blond doesn't like to admit it, but he now believed in safe havens. He had ever since he met you. Billy once thought he would never be able to feel safe again. That option hadn't been given to him for the longest time.
He also knew he was an asshole. He couldn't control his anger therefore his mouth got him into trouble frequently. Thankfully for him, he usually could back it up. He didn't care for explanations or overall emotions unless it was rage. That one seemed to pour out of him quite easily. When he first met you, he had a feeling he needed to either ignore you for the rest of the school year or else he would be done for. At first, Billy had done just that. He successfully ignored you when you parked your car near his, when you laughed in the hallway with your friends and in class when you seemed to always know the right answer to everything. 'Till one day he couldn’t anymore.
You two had been paired up in a project together, since it was for extra credit (one he desperately needed it) he had no choice but to actually speak with you. When you first introduced yourself, you were greeted with a scoff and a glare at your extended hand. You just smiled in response, not letting his demeanor get to you. You were determined in making this work. You had seen him in fights, on the court being unnecessarily aggressive while playing, and flirting his way out of everything. You were not letting a few scoffs get in the way of your grades.
That being said, he doesn’t know how it happened but one day he found himself in the library actually contributing to your project. No one seemed more surprised than Billy himself. From that day forward, he learned that you always had your way. And he didn't mind one bit.
•••
It was late at night, you were laying on top of the hood of his car, stargazing. The best part of not living in the city was the fact that you could see the stars exactly as they were.
"Watcha thinkin' about?" You asked, while your fingers played with his hair softly. You two laid there, mostly in silence, his arm was serving as a pillow for you undoubtedly numb by now. He hadn't complained once, and you knew he wouldn't anytime soon. After a while, Billy grew tired of looking at the sky and turned to you, his brain replaying the days when you two were just getting to know each other.
If there was one person in this world he wanted to think of him as good, it was her. He wanted to provide you that same safety he felt.
"I was just thinkin' that I don't mind how everyone sees me" he paused. "I put that shit there y'know? I'm just glad you looked past it sweetheart" You frowned, not quite understanding where this was coming from. His fingers touched your forehead where your eyebrows met. "Don't do that, it's nothin' bad. I'm just happy to be here - with you"
Your heart leaped as his words sunk in. He wasn't usually this open. "I'm happy too" You said truthfully. He gave you a smile, real one that reached his eyes and leaned in capturing your lips in his. He kissed you gently, taking his time. Your lips responded automatically, oh so familiar with his mouth. His free hand cupped your cheek, holding you close.
"Stay with me tonight," He asked in the middle of the kiss. "I don't wanna wait 'till tomorrow to see your cute face again" A giggle escaped your mouth as you leaned back to get some much-needed air.
"Billy! What's gotten into you?" Billy thought your laughter was more addictive than nicotine. His fingers gripped the back of your neck gently but tight enough to leave a mark. Instead of replying, his eyes suddenly turned serious.
“If anything were to happen to me.. do you promise me you won’t forget me?” You had no idea what the hell he was thinking about, but it made your throat close up.
“Billy… nothing is going to happen to you” Your tone was stern but lanced with concern, you knew Billy had a lot going on with his dad and his family. Sometimes you wanted to ask, but never knew how. “You’re stuck with me”
His expression showed you he wasn’t satisfied with that answer, so you sighed and sat up watching him follow suit. Your hands grabbed his face, turning him towards you, as your lips met his. “Billy Hargrove, I love you. If anything were to happen to you I would miss you everyday. Since that’s something I don’t need to worry about anytime soon, I want you to kiss me and forget about whatever’s going on inside that head of yours”
A grin took over his face as your confession hit his ears, he almost looked like a little boy on Christmas morning. “Yes ma’am” He never thought he would be happy to have moved into Hawkins of all places, but you proved him wrong everyday. Everyone in that town knew everything about each other, it was a small one so it was inevitable. Billy thought that was the scariest thing about it. No one should know a thing about him, if it was up to him the only words attached to him would continue to be rude and an obnoxious flirt. Just as long as you knew the real him.
He loved you, for what you were and for allowing him to be seen.
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glowingbadger · 3 years ago
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I saw arranged marriage Hubert- ...can we have a part two? Thanks!
IT. IS. TIME.
Seriously I've known I wanted a part two of that one since I posted it loool which is actually super rare for me. As a heads up guys, I'll almost never do direct continuations, or multiple fics from the same prompt or specific concept- only if I feel there's genuinely more material in there to explore.
And we didn't get to be spicy with Hubert in the OG arranged marriage post (here, btw) so let's gooooo
Also man I gotta take a break from fics and do some headcanons for a while, these are making my brain flail wildly lol like this was another one where I'd been just staring at it and going back to it for so long that I have no idea if it's good anymore
Hubert (FE3H) x AFAB/Fem Reader
Arranged marriage, pt 2
NSFW 18+
"Linhardt, I swear to you, if she does not make a full recovery, and soon, I will ensure that your own suffering is many times worse than-"
A bemused sigh cuts through harsh words. Then,
"Don't waste your breath trying to intimidate me, Hubert, you know it's never worked," then, muttered irritably, "if you're hoping to annoy me into efficacy though, you may see results."
Something cools your skin, and then gradually warms it and seems to seep into you. Healing magic, perhaps, though you've only experienced it a handful of times before to compare it to. You feel your aching muscles relax on a familiar bed with a very familiar scent. You're so desperately exhausted that even moving a finger seems daunting- yet the magic entering your system gradually restores you. Slowly, very slowly, your mind is introducing you to ideas one at a time. You'd heard Hubert's voice nearby, and Linhardt's soon after. You don't think anyone else is present. You're being tended to for some reason. Think, what happened...
"Have you checked for signs of the full list of toxins that I provided?"
"Yes, and if you would actually listen to me, you would know that she's not poisoned and she's not injured- just acutely exhausted. Which makes two of us, I suppose."
The scraping of a chair across the floor finally shakes you enough to open your eyes. You watch Linhardt's back as he heads toward the door of the bedroom, passing by a visibly agitated Hubert. You wonder what has him so riled up.
"Hubert..?"
His golden eyes widen, and he hastily comes to sit beside you. He speaks your name with a strange rasp in his voice, and for a moment, he seems to reach for you. Yet he stalls himself, instead only shifting the chair closer to you.
"See? What did I say?" Linhardt says over his shoulder before departing. Hubert pays him no mind.
The magic infused into your body seems to work more rapidly now. Already, you feel more alert, more grounded. You sit upright on the bed, but notice how Hubert's cutting gaze narrows.
"Don't exert yourself-"
"I'm fine, really," you say, taking in a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh. You look to Hubert once more, thinking to apologize for taking his time. And it strikes you that somehow he seems even paler than usual, his eyes weary. You open your mouth to speak, but he begins first,
"I... Have a number of questions for you."
You nod. He pauses, unusually hesitant. You've never seen your husband at a loss for words. Eventually, he says,
"The letter you delivered to me- the seal was unbroken. You never opened it. Why did you come so quickly to bring it to me? You..." He frowns, and can't meet your eyes, "surely you knew it would be nearly impossible to get it to me in time."
Through his uncharacteristically rambling words, you realize he's asking you quite a few questions at once. Well, you do owe him some sort of explanation.
"All of the letters with that particular seal- you burn them immediately after reading them. So I figured- I mean, I wasn't trying to spy on you-"
"I know," he says softly. Then, his voice more sure, he says, "No spy would put themself at risk to deliver such sensitive information without even investigating its contents. So now, I must ask you why."
You don't reply immediately. Taking a breath and steadying yourself, you recall the events of the last evening, forcing your mind to place the pieces into a comprehensible image.
"The letter was delivered here after you'd already left for your mission- and I, uh, happened to recognize the seal. And... I was worried about you," you notice his lips tighten to a thin line, his jaw clenching, but you go on, "I couldn't risk you going into this mission without potentially important intel, so... I had a horse readied."
"And you made what ought to be a day's journey in four or five hours, by my estimate," he replies stiffly. You remember the frigid air of the pitch black early morning as you pushed yourself and your mount forward. You remember your body aching and your lungs burning. You remember collapsing into red and black fabric that smelled of bitter coffee and the iron tang of blood, clutching the letter in a trembling hand.
If the intel in this letter is as important as the others bearing the same seal, then Hubert can't carry out a mission without it, you had pushed yourself forward with the thought, The Empire needs him. His allies need him. His allies care about him- and so do I.
"I guess so," you almost laugh as you shake the memories from your head, "no wonder I passed out, huh." Your husband doesn't look amused in the slightest.
"Your actions were foolhardy and short-sighted," Hubert narrows his gaze at you, "However... because of the information you delivered, we were able to change course, and avoid catastrophic losses. You saved every one of my operatives. You saved me," he says it as though irritated by the fact, then trails off into silence.
"Well... It was worth it, then," you say simply.
He gets to his feet abruptly, startling you a bit. Refusing to meet your eyes, he says,
"I... have been extraordinarily cruel to you."
"No, I understand you had to be cautious-"
"And I can't begin to comprehend what compels you to make such excuses for me," he raises his voice over yours. But when he speaks again, it's softer, and with a note of finality, "I am... relieved that you are safe and well."
He turns toward the door, but you scramble out from under the sheets and grab hold of his sleeve.
"Wait- Hubert-"
You practically stumble into him on your way off of the bed. He catches you by your arms, but his posture is stiff, his touch distant as though he might flee at any moment. You recall what he'd said months ago now- that he wouldn't lay a finger on you until you knew the truth of how you felt about him. At the memory, you blurt out,
"I- I really admire you!"
His brow furrows deeply, his pale complexion tinted red.
"What manner of utter madness-"
"You work relentlessly for your ideals, with no expectation of personal reward or gain," you go on breathlessly, "You care so deeply for your allies- I know you do- and you're brilliant at encouraging their strong points and warning them away from dangerous habits. I'm not being naive," your hands cling to the front of his clothes, as though you could possibly keep him in place, keep him from pulling away from you yet again, "I know the things you've done, Hubert. But I also know why you've done them."
A gloved hand cups your cheek and spreads long fingers into your hair. His lips press firmly to yours, and a rush of heat washes through your body. You lean into him, fists clenching around his clothing, pulling him against you. How often had you recalled how his kiss had felt in these past weeks and months? Even then, you knew your memory couldn't compare with the feeling of his body near yours and his tongue brushing along the crease of your lips. You welcome him, and at last, you risk releasing his clothes from your grip, instead running your hands firm up his chest. He inhales deeply. You can feel his heart pounding beneath your touch.
Then, as suddenly as the kiss began, he breaks way.
"Forgive me," he mutters, turning his gaze away, "I- I had sworn I would not lay a hand on you-"
"Until I was certain of how I felt about you," you say, "That's what you promised me."
Once again, a light red flush creeps across his high cheekbones.
"You... ought to be in bed," he says, and clears his throat. But he hasn't pulled away from your touch.
"Only if you join me," you reply. You're not sure when you became so bold with your infamously cold husband. Perhaps it's the red tint across his face, or the way you know his heart is fluttering in his chest, much the same as yours. Hubert takes a breath and levels his cutting gaze on your expression, as though looking for any hint of hesitation. Then, without a word, he unclasps the cloak around his shoulders and lays it across the bedside chair.
Smiling warmly, you stand on tiptoe and press another kiss to his lips as he begins to undo the extensive series of buttons and clasps down the front of his militant attire. You do what you can to help, pulling aside layers of clothing between curious but insistent kisses. Once he's finally left in dress pants and his white undershirt, you run your hands up his torso, murmuring,
"You wear far too much clothing."
His hands slide around your waist, pulling you to him, and even this smallest gesture to affirm his own desire for you sets your pulse racing.
"Perhaps you are simply impatient," he whispers, heated breath brushing your skin.
"I think I've been plenty patient with you," you say, pulling him back towards the bed, a little surprised when he willingly follows. Then, he chuckles softly, the sound short and subdued, and says,
"That you most certainly have."
He follows you onto the bed, brushing your hair from your face before kissing you once again. Yet the feeling is completely different. It's deep and unrestrained, baring a kind of passion you hadn't realized had been lying dormant in him. Whimpering against his lips, you drape your arms around him, allowing all of the pent up longing of the past months to roar to life within you. Your body arches up against him as his tongue runs along yours and you finally feel his hands- the touch he'd denied you even when you'd kissed him the very first time. His hands run along the curves of your body, tracing and studying you. His breath comes quicker, and at last, you feel the heat and pressure of his manhood, hard between your thighs as it fights the confines of his trousers. Without thinking, your heel nudges the back of his thigh, urging him closer to you while your nails rake down his chest atop his shirt.
Hubert draws in a sharp breath and seizes your hands, pinning them to the sheets beside you. His face is flushed, his lips kissed pink and his hair rustled out of place.
"Behave," he says, his voice low and husky, "I... I can't bear it when you provoke me like that..."
You grin and bite at your bottom lip. Could it be that the Emperor's left hand is unusually sensitive to touch? Your eyes flicker down his frame and see his member already throbbing hard.
"I want to make you feel good, Hubert," you say softly.
"There will be other nights to indulge my... predilections," he replies, and releases your wrists to settle at your side, "For now, I insist that you allow me to atone for how I've treated you."
You're about to protest, to insist that he has nothing to make up for. But then, his lips are at your neck, his tongue pulsing against sensitive nerves that have wanted him for so long, and the words dissolve into a pleasured whine. You hardly notice, but his hand is marching down the front of your shirt, undoing buttons and exposing inch by inch of flesh. His lips soon follow, trailing down over your collarbones and across your chest to your breasts. An arm around your waist tugs you against him as the warmth of his mouth surrounds one of your nipples. Your head tilts back on the pillow, and you have to stop yourself from tangling your fingers through raven black hair. You don't want to overwhelm him. Instead, your hand finds his at your hips, drawing it upwards so you can remove the glove keeping you from him. Hubert is surprisingly compliant, watching you with a blaze of lust in his eyes as you tug away the fabric. He removes the other without a word, and sets them both aside. Now, you can feel him against your skin, his caress worshiping every curve of your frame while he kisses and gently bites at the swell of your breasts.
Without realizing, you'd been rubbing your thighs together as though you could possibly find relief from the rapidly building need between them. Then, Hubert's touch slides beneath the hem of your breeches, and your hips instinctively rise to meet his touch. You let out a trembling sigh as his long fingers ease between your folds, gliding across your aching clit until the tips tease your entrance.
"You're soaked..." he murmurs as though in disbelief. You offer him a hazy smile and say,
"I've wanted to be with you for so long, Hubert..."
His free hand guides you to face him, and he presses a slow and tender kiss to your lips. Before long, you're forced to break from him with a pleasured gasp as his fingers gently work into your drooling pussy, massaging just behind your clit and steadily pushing deeper, careful never to hurt you.
"I dearly regret having made you wait for so long," he says softly, watching your expressions as his fingers curl and pulse against your inner walls, "I have been a terribly neglectful husband, I fear."
Face flushed red and thighs tensing in around his hand, you force your hazy eyes to meet his. You want to reach out to him. You want to cling to him as your release takes you. Instead, you merely raise a hand to cradle his face and whimper his name. And he watches. He watches like he's never seen anything so beautiful as you gasp aloud and cum around his fingers. They stroke you deep inside, pushing you through your climax as you pant and moan for him- for your husband.
"Mmh... Hubert..." you gradually catch your breath as he slides his fingers out from you. You barely notice a subtle shift in his expression as he watches you gather yourself.
"I ought to do more for you-"
"No, I-" you cut him off, "I want you, please-"
Then, he's atop you on all fours, pulling your breeches down your legs with an urgency that catches you somewhat off guard. He doesn't bother with the rest of his own clothing, or with the shirt hanging from your arms and pooling under you on the bed. Hubert merely guides your thighs around his hips and opens the front of his trousers. And he kisses you, over and over, stealing your breath and sending your head spinning, and before you can track, you feel the hot tip of his cock pressing between your lower lips.
As the head pushes into your tight, wet cunt, Hubert tries and fails to bite back a primal, lustful groan. The pressure of his member gradually filling you is incredible, but despite this, you can't take your eyes off of his expression. You've never seen him look so earnest, and so strangely vulnerable. And this time, when you wrap your arms around his shoulders and hold him close, he doesn't deny you.
Soon, the head of his cock hits your deepest point, his pelvis fitting firm between your thighs as his full length nestles within you to the base. With a whimper, you feel yourself tighten and squeeze around him. Hubert breathes out your name and presses his lips to the crook of your neck, only shifting his hips slightly, slowly and rhythmically rubbing himself against your inner walls. His brow furrowed deeply, his lips at your neck press firmer, followed by his teeth, and soon he's marking you along your throat and down your collarbones as the pace of his thrusts gradually increases.
One arm hooks under your knee, drawing your leg upward and allowing him to push deeper into you, while the other arm slides under your waist to hold your body flush to his. In a tangle of limbs and half-removed clothing, your bodies move together, gasps and moans harmonized as Hubert's hips sway and his member pistons into you. You feel his abdomen flex tight with each thrust, his body harder and just a little more toned than you'd expected, but with a slender elegance you can't help but admire. Your fists clench around his shirt, scraping your nails across his back as his teeth lay into the crook of your neck. He must have marked you half a dozen times by now, but the heat of his mouth and the passion of him pressing himself against you is only more addictive each time.
Then, without even realizing, your hand runs up along his neck, and a shudder runs through his frame. Caging you against the bed, Hubert bucks his hips forward, suddenly thrusting into you deeper and harsher. You gasp out his name, your fingers curling in his hair, which only provokes him further.
"If- if you don't... I can't, I'll-" he can't make his words coherent, but you feel his cock swell and throb inside of you and know he's close.
"I- I want it..!" you whimper in his ear, "Please, Hubert- cu-cum for me!"
Hubert's restraint breaks like a cracked dam, and with a shaky moan, he drives into you to the hilt, nearly pushing you back on the bed. Then, his cock pulses and throbs as he cums, each volley causing his length to swell out against your clenching hole. In some distant corner of your mind, you think that your husband must not indulge in physical pleasure often; he's cumming so hard you can feel his entire body tense, and before long, he's filled you so thoroughly that you swear his release must be dripping down the curve of your ass. Then, at long last, he eases his cock out from your folds, and practically collapses on the bed beside you.
Smiling warmly, you brush stray bangs away from his face as you both catch your breath. Hubert clears his throat and says rather formally,
"Do you, er... require anything of me?" when you look at him curiously, he adds, "I have... never before been with anyone whom I cared to remain with afterwards."
You ease closer to him on the bed. Then, taking his hand in yours, you guide his arm around your waist and say,
"Well, we should probably clean up."
"Yes, of course, I'll prepare a bath for you." he says, and seems about to get up before you cut in,
"Wait- just..." you rest your hands on his chest, speaking softly in the quiet of your bedroom, "stay with me a little while?"
Hubert exhales, and pauses for a moment. Perhaps you should have known that his relative inexperience with true intimacy would blend strangely with his pragmatic and devoted personality. Yet then he draws near and places a lingering kiss to your forehead.
"Of course, my dearest wife. For as long as you will have me."
You're still a bit shaky, bitten and kissed everywhere, and not to mention practically dripping with your lover's cum. Regardless, you nuzzle your head against Hubert's chest, smiling as you note the uneven, fluttering rhythm of his heart. Then, with some surprise, you feel his arms draw around you and hold you close to him, unabashed and certain at last.
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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 3 years ago
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COSMIC - S1:E5; Chapter Five, The Flea and The Acrobat - [Pt. 4 - FINAL]
A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series
𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬���� 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘣 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴 𝘔𝘳. 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯.
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|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||
With Dustin in the lead, we found ourselves stopped atop a hill, at what I assume is a scrapyard. Old vehicles like abandoned cars and buses scattered around the area.
Dustin came to a stop and looked around.
"Oh, no." He muttered.
"'Oh, no'? What's, 'Oh, no'?" Lucas asked in a panicked tone.
Dustin turned around to look at us.
"We're headed back home."
"What?" Even Mike seemed to be frustrated.
"Dustin, are you sure?" I ask, irritation and exhaustion creeping up on me.
"Yeah, I'm sure. Setting sun, right there." He pointed past us in the direction of the sky. "We looped right back around."
I sighed, shifting on my feet as I run a hand down my face.
"And you're just realizing this now?" Lucas snapped.
"Why is this all on me?"
"Because you're the compass genius!"
"What do yours say?"
We all checked our compasses, mine was wobbly but nevertheless, pointing North.
Lucas, Mike and I all spoke at once.
"North."
We all sighed, and Dustin began slowly pacing, looking off into the distance deep in thought.
"Makes no damn sense."
"Maybe the gate moved," Mike offered.
"No, I don't think it's the gate." Dustin began looking all around us. "I think it's something else screwing with the compasses."
"Maybe it's something here?"
As Mike spoke, I didn't fail to notice the look that crossed Lucas's face as he slowly turned to face El.
"No, it has to be like a super magnet." Dustin replied.
Lucas rose his hand and began pointing at El accusingly. "It's not a magnet. She's been acting weirder than normal. If she can slam doors with her mind, she can definitely screw up a compass."
El stood rooted in place, a look of guilt and fear in her eyes.
"Why would she do that?" Mike snapped.
"Because she's trying to sabotage our mission. Because she's a traitor!"
As much as I hated to admit it to myself, it was the only logical explanation we had. It could be all too easy for her to screw with our compasses after what she showed herself capable of.
I shook my head, ridding myself of the conclusions my brain wanted to jump to.
"Lucas, come on. Think about what you're saying. Why would-" I rested a gentle hand on Lucas's shoulder to try and calm him down, only for him to rip his arm from my touch.
"Enough, Y/n! I'm so sick of you defending her! You of all people should be more worried for Will."
"I am!" I snapped, feeling the anger, fear and confusion of all I've been carrying the past few days shoot up to the surface unexpectedly.
I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. "Just... Please. Hear her out."
Lucas never met my eye and only stomped towards the poor girl intimidatingly.
"Lucas, what are you doing?" Mike asked, following behind Lucas worriedly.
"You did it, didn't you? You don't want us to reach the gate. You don't want us to find Will." Lucas was in her face by now, and it as if the poor girl was on the verge of tears.
Dustin and I were toe in toe with the others and I walked up to Lucas, ready in case he decided to something rash.
Mike seemed to have the same idea.
"Lucas, come on, seriously, just leave her alone!"
"Admit it." Lucas spit.
"No." El muttered.
"Admit it!" We all jumped when Lucas began screaming.
He grabbed her right arm and examined her sleeve. There was a streak of shiny dark crimson on her sleeve.
Lucas swatted away her arm in disgust and frustration at the sight.
"Fresh blood. I knew it."
Dustin and I watched speechless as the boys began fighting.
"Lucas, come on!"
"I saw her wiping her nose on the tracks! She was using her powers!"
"Bull! That's old blood. Right, El?"
We all whipped our heads to El, waiting for her response.
At this point, she was fighting back tears, and her breath hitched.
"Right, El?" Mike asked again, less confident.
She began sobbing as she choked out her words.
"It's... not... it's not safe."
My stomach plunged as Dustin and I shared a look of worry and shock.
⊹ ⊹ ⊹
"What did I tell you? She's been playing us from the beginning!"
Lucas and Mike seemed to be having it out now and they wouldn't stop despite the many protests from either Dustin or I. My body seemed to have shut down, staring helplessly as my two best friends fight, at a complete loss for words from shock and knowing my words will make no difference.
"That's not true. She helped us find Will!"
"Find Will? Find Will? Where is he, then? Huh? I don't see him."
"Yeah, you know what I mean,"
"No, I actually don't. Just think about it, Mike. She could have just told us where the Upside Down was right away, but she didn't. She just made us run around like headless chickens."
With every word my body was feeling more and more on edge, my anxiety set in as I felt uncomfortable in my own skin at my friend's tearing each other apart. I started shifting back and forth, my hands rubbing the back of my neck.
Either Dustin noticed this, or he was sick of the fighting as well - or both for that matter - he stomped towards the boys and intervened.
"All right, calm down!"
"No! She used us, all of us! She helped just enough so she could get what she wants. Food and a bed. She's like a stray dog."
"Screw you, Lucas!"
"No! Screw you, Mike. You're blind... blind because you like that a girl's not grossed out by you. But wake up, man! Wake the hell up! She knows where Will is, and now she's just letting him die in the Upside Down."
"Shut up!"
"For all we know, it's her fault."
"Shut up."
"We're looking for some stupid monster... but did you ever stop to think that maybe she's the monster?"
'I don't want to believe it. I don't want to believe that El is the monster. I don't want my best friend to be missing, I don't want my friends to fight all the time. But at the same time, I can't afford to dismiss the possibility that maybe Lucas had a point. Not about her being a monster. No, that I refuse to believe, but her having something to do with everything that's been going on.'
What came next was a blur.
Mike couldn't take it anymore and lunged at Lucas, the boys toppled to the ground and began wrestling in the dirt. Dustin, El and I screaming at the top of our lungs for them to stop.
I looked to Dustin and El and back at the fighting boys. I ran to them attempting to pry Lucas off of Mike in a panic, knowing there was a big chance I'd get hit. But I didn't care and I couldn't stand by and do nothing.
"Enough! Please, stop! Just-"
I closed my eyes as I saw the blur of Lucas's hand strike me accidentally as he swung his arm back, ready to punch Mike. I felt the back of his fist collide with my nose and I fell back with a painful yelp.
I heard a shrill shriek and opened my eyes in time to see Lucas fly backward in the air about five feet and slide into an abandoned car door, lying unconscious.
I looked to Lucas in horror and ran to him, not caring about my gushing nose.
I dive in front of Lucas, trying to shake him awake.
The boys were right behind me.
"Lucas! Lucas, wake up! Lucas."
Nothing. I checked his head for injuries, my hand never leaving him as I look over my shoulder at El, horrified.
"What did you do?"
El stood rooted to the ground, sobs wracking her body as blood dripped down her nose. I could tell the guilty look in her eyes was genuine but I didn't have time to feel bad for her right now.
Lucas was my main priority. I turned my attention back to my friend.
Dustin and Mike were just as panicked as I was.
"Come on, wake up. Come on!" Dustin yelled.
"Come on, man. Lucas?" Mike muttered worriedly.
"Lucas? Lucas, come on!" I sniffled, weakly shaking him.
To my tremendous relief, Lucas slowly came to with a groan and his eyes fluttered open.
The three of us chuckled and laughed in relief. The weight in my lungs and heart were lifted at the sight
"Lucas." Mike let out in a shaky breath.
Lucas slowly sat up and blinked a few times, processing what just happened.
"Lucas, you okay?" Mike asked.
There was no response from our friend.
Dustin spoke up shakily as he held up three fingers.
"Lucas... Lucas, how many fingers am I holding up? Lucas, how many fingers?"
Mike began reaching forward towards Lucas's head, already one step ahead of me.
"Let me see your head." He offered gently, he was cut short went Lucas angrily shoved Mike's hand away.
"Get off of me!" He grunted, struggling to stand up.
"Lucas, come on, you could be hurt. Let us help." I try, my voice soft reaching for his shoulder.
He pushed my arm away in anger as he stood up, storming past me.
"I said, get off of me!" I detected a hint of fear in his voice this time and less anger, making me more sympathetic than angry at him.
Mike began to chase after him but Dustin and I seem to have the same thought as we both caught each of his arms
"Let him go."
I watched sorrowfully as my friend left without us.
"Man, let him go."
We all shared a somber silence when suddenly Mike spoke up.
"Where is El?"
I looked to where she had been standing previously only to find no one else in sight.
Mike's breathing increased and he began shouting for her.
"El! El!"
"Eleven!" Dustin had joined in.
I stood frozen, my voice failing me. I looked around me as hopelessness sunk in and solidified into guilt. The icy wind whipped my collar as the desperate voices of my friends was lost to the wind.
She was gone.
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sillydg · 3 years ago
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“A Walker knows, when a Walker knows” Part two. Bartie's choice.
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Book: The royal romance
Pairing: Drake Walker X F!MC (Riley Herreld)
Rating: 18+
Wordcount: 5.000
Series Summary: Drake meets Riley. But not in the usual kind of way. Fate interferes when Riley’s supposed to be working on that big Bachelor night.
She gets drawn to Cordonia in another way. But what happens when a Workaholic, meet a Walker come together? Will they provide a Christmas miracle and get over their own love skepticism?
Or can we turn on ‘Love actually’ after this series to make us feel good again?
One way to find out!
Part one. Faith happens
Part two. Summary: Also Riley's struggling with a handsome stranger in the distance and Drake finds out about Bartie's choice.
A/N: English is not my first language. Please excuse me for any grammar/word interpretation mistakes.
A/N: I'm late with everything. So we keep up the Christmas spirit and for everyone who reads this (and ofcourse everyone who don't...) I wish you all well in 2022!
A/N: Please let me know if you want to be tagged for this series
Category: Over the top a bit predictable Christmas fluff, with an edge.
Warnings: Memorizing a sick mom, swearing, references to sex. Please do not read if you’re under 18.
CHARACTERS BELONG TO PIXELBERRY STUDIOS
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A Walker knows, when a Walker knows.
Bartie's choice
Still Sunday, five days before Christmas. Riley.
What the hell is going on?
Riley's mind's racing back and forth. One moment she's talking to Tim, one of her best friends who works at the local sawmill, and the next she finds her eyes glued to this gorgeous stranger in the distance.
She desperately tries to rationalize her way out of whatever it is that's happening, but there seems no way to determine why she's so intrigued by him. Why there is no possible way for her to tear her eyes away from the man with his brown ragged winter jacket, comfortable jeans, messy dark hair, and some rough winter boots.
Do I know him? He feels so familiar, but I never forget a name... There has to be a logical explanation. A rational, completely obvious explanation! One that makes all the sense in the world, one that makes you go like, 'Right. Duh. Obvi.' Ripped out of thought and her heart skips a beat the moment a most charming smirk appears on his face. And she can't help it. Her face naturally matches his with a broad one of her own.
"Riley? Hey, are you okay?" Tim looks up from the clipboard that Riley's been holding for both of them to look at. A minute ago, the two of them were looking at tomorrow's schedule to figure out when he could deliver an order and the next... Well, he was afraid that she might start to drool for some reason.
He whispers again, "Riley... Are you okay?" But there seems to be no way of reaching her. And right at the moment, he wants to follow her gaze into the distance, the unknown man breaks eye contact to look at the vendor behind him. Riley snaps out of it, blinks, and shakes her head in a desperate attempt to clear her mind from the fog. "What just happened?"
Tim lays a hand on her shoulder and she looks at him with a flustered look on her face. "Mhh?"
"Hey, there you are," Tim says with a gentle smile, "I completely lost you for a sec there, Riles. What happened?"
She rubs her forehead with a grin on her face, "I have no idea. My mind is racing right now. I'm confused, fascinated... This is it. I think I'm officially going crazy. Wrap me up, let me hug myself and a one-way ticket to the madhouse please!"
Tim blinks, "What are you talking about? And why are you all flustered..." He narrows his eyes, "Wait! Are you nervous? Is making bad jokes what you do when you're nervous?"
"Tssk," and Riley snorts, "I'm not nervous. You're nervous. I'm calm and collected like always."
"No, you're absolutely not. What happened? I've never seen you like this! You're usually a Jedi when it comes to your emotions."
Riley puts up an awkward smile and she starts shifting at her place, "As I said, I don't know what happened. Don't worry okay? It's just been a looong day." And she stifles a yawn.
"Soooo, it's safe for me to say that you sat down exactly zero seconds today and probably haven't eaten much?"
"You know," and she puts up a charming smirk, "I think the moment I start taking breaks and eat full meals during these crazy December weeks is the moment that you need to start worrying."
"Riles..." He groans, "You promised!"
"I know, I know... But I didn't find the time between King Liam and Queen Olivia visiting the Market, trying to keep everyone happy behind the stands, solving problems, confiscating fire breathing material, and already planning things for tomorrow in the back of my head because we're faaaar behind on preparations on decor for Friday's play."
"Wait, what? Confiscating fire breathing materials?"
She chuckles, "Just a hint, search Maxwell Beaumont from top till bottom when he tries to enter your sawmill."
"Noted... and nice try Riley. How about we get back to the point where you promise to at least try to take better care of yourself."
"I honestly did try, but I also knew when I took this job two weeks ago that it would be kind of crazy..."
"You can say quite impossible."
She chuckles, "Nah. A challenge! A great adventurous challenge of little sleep and a non-existent personal life. But it's totally worth it. Look around you!" She glances happily around, "The weather is cold, but not too cold. And the soft snowflakes. The kids are happy and laughing and singing..." Her eyes fall once again on the handsome stranger in the distance the moment he receives his hot beverages. What is it about him?
"Are you kidding me? Again?" And her eyes snap back to Tim who looks at her with his arms folded and his brows high. "Who are you looking at?
But she drags him away at his arm before he even gets the chance to check out whom she was staring at. "You know, a walk might be good. It keeps the blood pumping."
"Wow," and he barely manages to stay on his two feet the moment he gets dragged away. "Now you're just acting weird!" He matches her pace after stabilizing, but can't help to glance over his shoulder once more time. What was happening over there?
"Tim! You've known me for four years now. How is me acting weird still a surprise to you?"
"Because," he points out, "This is definitely a different weird than the usual Riley weird."
"Usual Riley weird?" She grins, "What's that suppose to mean?"
"Just non-emotional driven weird. Weird because you're weird, weird. Not weird because you don't know how to handle nerves or other feelings weird, since you always manage to keep your emotions under control and show nothing but happiness and cheeriness up to an extremely annoying level." He snorts and shakes his head, "You know for someone who's always encouraging others to tell what they think and feel, you're weirdly not comfortable with doing that yourself."
"I'm just a," and she nudges him with a smile, "Weird combination between my mom and dad. Can't help it. On one side I'm sensitive, I level easy with people, which is my mom's, but on the other hand, I'm my dad who's rational, private, loves to be in control of her own emotions and I listen rather than I talk. That combined actually works very well."
"Yeah, for others," Tim sighs, "But we all need someone to listen at some point, who looks out for you and tell you to go to bed instead of helping cleaning tonight." He stops short and looks at her, "Please go home after the event is over. A hot shower, some food, and off to bed for a long night. You need it."
"No, what I need is for us to determine when you're stopping by tomorrow to deliver the order." She starts strolling again while ruffling through her clipboard, "Tomorrow's schedule must be here somewhere."
He groans as he falls into step with her, "You know. You're unbelievably stubborn."
"Whaaat," she grins looking up from her clipboard, "Me stubborn? Naaaah. It's not like you've been reminding me every day for the past four years that you find my stubbornness my most pleasant feature."
He throws his hands up in the air, "Unbelievable."
"My middle name. Now can we get back to..." And she smacks her forehead, "I forgot that I still need to do my hour to hour schedule for tomorrow. Can I just give you a call in the morning?"
"Dork," and he nudges her, "Of course. I will have your order ready and we'll talk in the morning."
"You're an absolute Angel!" At that moment her phone buzzes and she takes it out of her jacket to check her messages. She has received one from Mable. Her bestie from day one, her co-worker and producer, basically her bright right hand in everything.
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She taps that she's on her way before turning back to Tim, "I'm sorry, but I've got to go! Mission's tutorial on how to make the perfect s'more' has a go, Maxwell is searching for Drake as we speak and I need to go set up the little set I came up with!" She smiles, "It's going to be so amazing!"
"Wow, wow," and Tim raises his brows, "Are we talking about Drake Walker?"
Riley blinks at the unexpected question and sudden seriousness in his voice, "Yes, I'm sorry is there a problem?"
"Only that he's Bachelor numero uno in Cordonia since the whole 'things are great' hype. Ladies man and a player at heart."
"I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't do Cordonian gossip, remember? The only things I've heard are the things from Bartie's stories and besides, he's an adult. He's entitled to his own decisions, just like us."
"I'm just saying that you have to be careful around him. I don't like to see you get hurt."
Riley looks at Tim's genuine concerned expression and she lays her hand on his arm, "Hey, I really appreciate you're concern, but you don't have to go all Big Bro protective over me! You know I can take care of myself."
Tim turns pale at her words and immediately looks the other way. Big bro?
"Tim, what's wrong?" She tries to find his eyes, but he keeps averting hers, "Did I say something wrong?"
"No, no of course not." He casually tries to brush his feeling of, but the pit in his stomach remains, "You know, you're right. It's not like you seemed remotely interested in a guy these past four years, how big is the chance that you fall for him anyway?"
Riley narrows her eyes, "Okay. You're the one acting weird now Tim. What's going on?"
"Nothing! Really, nothing is going on. You know I think that I'm going to work on your order tonight down at the sawmill. Don't forget to give me a call tomorrow morning, yeah?" And he turns on his heels.
"Wow, wow... wait!" But he already disappeared in the crowd, leaving her confused behind. What just happened? Her phone buzzes again and knowing that there is nothing she can do right now about the situation with Tim or whatever it was that happened earlier with the guy in the distance, she decides to focus on what she can control right now. Hopefully making Bartie's night and she makes her way to the chosen spot at the edge of the near Forrest.
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Meanwhile. Mable and Savannah.
Mable looks down at her phone, "Riley's on her way to set up camp, right across the big lawn at the edge of the woods and I bet that Maxwell will find Drake any minute now."
Savannah smiles proudly with her eyes fixated on her little miracle, "He's going to be so excited. All of this is already amazing..." And she motions around the little cozy spot that Riley created.
There is a small campfire in the middle with some wooden benches around it and a big table at the other side filled with milk chocolate, graham crackers, and baskets full of Marshmallows.
She sighs, "Look at the fire, the lights... all of that combined with the snow. I mean the Christmas Market itself is a show stopper, but this..." She glances at Bartie who's completely in his element. He walks around to help the kids and their parents create a perfect s'more. "This is what he really wanted. Sharing the fun he has with Drake with his classmates and other kids. And making that video is going to be the cherry on top. How does she come up with these things?"
Mable chuckles, "As Riley would say, blame the kids for being such an inspiration. In this case, inspiration came after Riley told Bartie that she never made or eaten a s'more before, Bartie told her that he wished he could do something for the kids who also never had eaten one and didn't know how to make it, and voila. Inspiration."
Savannah smiles, "She goes great lengths for these kids, doesn't she?"
"Wow, you can say that again. She's passionate and stubborn up to a workaholic level. There is no stopping her, believe me. All of us tried!"
"Sounds like she's as stubborn as my big brother." Savannah wiggles her brows and nudges Mable, "You know, maybe we're in for something interesting tonight!"
"Ohhh, I like where this is going," chuckles Mable, "Interesting how?"
"Well.... Their both passionate, stubborn, loyal... independent, and strong. The only thing that's going to be the coinflip here is that she's cheery before nine o'clock, playful and teasingly, and he's none of that combined with the fact that he finds all of that usually hard to digest. That and the Walker shield that he has going on."
Mable chuckles once again, "Well, we both know that she already broke through one Walker shield." And she nods towards Bartie.
"In one hour on the first day that is," grins Savannah, "Haha. You know, just putting this out there. They're either engaged within the week or they are going to clash. You know, maybe both... Passion does weird stuff to people."
"Engaged within the week?" Mable starts laughing, "Apart from the fact that Riles is waaaaay too rational for that, he would also have to deal with even a more rational force called, mister Herreld. I met him about three times now and I think he's capable of murder when a man would ask for her hand within the decade, let alone within the week. Not one romantic bone to be found."
"Well," And Savannah nudges Mable, "How about we just hope for a Christmas miracle then?"
And then both of them burst out in laughter...
"Yeah... We wish," and Mable wipes away some tears from laughter, "Ohh I so wish."
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Meanwhile. Drake.
Drake strides through the crowd with determined steps. He just found out about Bertie’s activity involving fire and since Maxwell has been with him all day, it was a goddam miracle that no one has gotten hurt today. Because, even though It’s been 38 days without 'Maxwell accidents', the last one where he burnt down half of the maze at the palace is still fresh in his memory. He paces, looking franticly around him as he hears a sudden voice. "Drake!" And he hears heavy breathing, "Drake wait up! Jeez, you walk fast man."
"Not now Max," he huffs, "I'm looking for..." He freezes at his pace as he realizes to whom he's talking and immediately turns around. Maxwell bumps full frontal into him since he didn't expect Drake to stop. Drake steadies him at the shoulders, squeezing him a bit while talking sternly. "Maxwell Beaumont, Please tell me that everyone and everything is okay and that someone else extremely responsible is keeping an eye on Bartie."
Maxwell gulps at the tone in his voice, "Everyone and Everything is okay. Sav is with Bartie."
"She's already there? But..."
"I know, I know, she promised you to give you a call. But I insisted on giving you a VIP special pick-up service."
He sighs, "Of course you did."
"Oh come on. Isn't this a lot better?" Maxwell wiggles excitedly, "It's just what Besties do for each other Drake."
Drake groans at the way too excited Maxwell, "Well, at least you're away from the fire."
"That's the spirit," He clasps against Drake's shoulder, which earns him a death glare. He squeaks, "You know what, I think it's best if we start walking."
"You think?"
Maxwell gulps and the two men start walking, "Soooooo Drake, how did things go today with the preparations?"
"Great!" He grins as the thought of Bartie staying with him for a few nights is turning his mood instantly 180 degrees, "I even got an official Family week planner for this week. I've never been more ready for civil life."
Maxwell chuckles, "Wel that's a sentence I never thought I would hear Drake say."
"Don't get your hopes up Beaumont. It's only for a few days. I mean we are going to hit the bar after Liam's early Christmas party right?" He wiggles his brows at Maxwell who nods in confirmation, "Absolutely, it's our tradition to drink away Liam's desperate attempts to set you up with one of the single women who 'just happen to show up' out of nowhere! Oh, and what about me coming by tomorrow night? Is that still on?"
"Yes! I actually wanted to talk to you about that," Drake groans as he is not sure how to ask Maxwell without causing way too much high-pitched sounds. But after figuring that there is no way to avoid it, he says "I really want to buy a Christmas tree tomorrow with some decorations to decorate it with and I was wondering if you want to come with me tomorrow afternoon? I mean I don't really care about mixing and matching, but he's used to Savannah's perfect tree..."
Maxwell squeaks highly and enthusiastically, "OMG! BEST DAY EVER! But are you sure only a tree? I mean we can go full Christmassy, with little statues, train rails, and a little village, fluffy blankets, and pillows!! Ohhh last time I went to the store I saw this really cute fluffy Christmas baby deer... I think I've got a picture somewhere!"
Drake flinches at the noise, "Yes, I don't need all kinds of trinkets everywhere, and what is up with everybody and fluffy things anyway?"
"Loooooook!" He shows him the picture of the babydeer together with some murmuring, "Cute, Cute..."
"No."
"Fine," But suddenly horror fills his face, "But I can't! Noo! I promised Riley to help her with painting decor tomorrow and the rest of the week for that matter besides working on the dancing parts." He falls silent but then his eyes grow wide out of excitement. "Ooh ooooor, what if you're also helping out this week? She can use all the help she can get and well I don't have to feel guilty about leaving her all alone tomorrow afternoon."
He shrugs, "Sure, I have the week off anyway. And we both know that I wouldn't be able to sit still for long anyway."
"This is going to be the best week ever!! Buying Christmas stuff, helping Riley out! Best Buds Dreamteam! Up top!" And he sticks up his hand for Drake to tap it, but Drake rolls his eyes. "Ground rules to make sure you make it out alive. No small talk, jokes, smiling, touching, dancing, and singing abomination of Christmas songs."
"Jeez, Jolly!"
"And no annoying Christmas terms."
"Whatever you want best bud in the whole universe! This week is going to be awesome nevertheless." He lets out a high-pitched sound and Drake pinches the bridge of his nose as he already regrets everything that happened the minute before.
Drake groans, "Well that's to be seen." What did I get myself into?
"Oh come on! A whole week of building, painting, and handling sharp objects together!"
"Sounds like a whole week of making sure that you don't lose fingers or even worse! He frowns, "How did you manage to survive this week anyway?"
He grins, "Riley! Ohh. are you nervous about meeting her?"
"Why would I be nervous?"
"Because you know... you're Drake. You don't want to make a whole grumpy first impression at Bartie's favorite teacher right?"
"As head of the Royal Guard, I meet new people all the time, Max. I'm not that helpless little teenage boy anymore who tries to push away people with his grumpiness. I'm going to be fine."
"If you say so, bud! But I'm telling you. Just prepare yourself, because she's nothing like one of those women you've met. She's a force and she can be a lot."
"I'm used to seeing you every day, Beaumont. I like to think that I can handle a lot." His words turn into whispers the moment he sees a kid walking with s'mores in his hand. A smile appears on his face and his eyes start to twinkle in excitement, "Nooooo... Did he choose..."
Maxwell gets equally excited, "Oh yes!"
Drake takes off, fast walking as he follows the kids coming from one particular direction. He paces through the crowd and stops short at the edge of a cozy area. The laughter of kids who are sitting together with their parents around the fire holding a stick with Marshmallows above it. Bartie's completely in his element. He walks around to help both parents and kids, even the ones he doesn't know.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" And Savannah wraps an arm around him.
Drake nods as he is unable to speak and soon he gets spotted by Bartie.
"Uncle!" And Bartie jumps into his arms for a big hug.
"Hi, bud," and Drake gives him a sweet peck on the cheek, "I can't believe you choose to make s'mores!"
Bartie smiles broadly, "What else could I choose? I love it! Ohh do you want to meet my best friend?"
Drake grins, "Absolutely," and he sets him down on his own feet.
"Lucy, Lucy! This is my uncle, Drake!" And Drake gets pulled away with a broad smile on his face. He had heard a lot of stories about Bartie's best friend Lucy, who's also the co-star in the Christmas play.
"Oh hi, Bartie's uncle Drake!" A little girl greets him cheerily. He sinks through his knees to give her a hand, "Hi Lucy."
She smiles, "Every Monday all the kids in our class get jealous when he tells about the adventures the two of you go on."
A broad smile appears on Drake's face as he glances over to Bartie who nods proudly. Lucy holds up a s'more, "And Bartie learned us how to make these! They're so yummy!"
Drake looks at the perfect roasted marshmallow between the crackers, "Wow, look at that Bartie! We got ourselves an expert. It's roasted perfectly! You must have done it a thousand times already?"
Lucy chuckles, "NOOOOO, the first time! All thanks to my bestie here!" And she teasingly ruffles over Bartie's woolen cap. Drake pulls Bartie into a hug, whispering in his ear, "I'm so proud of you bud! It's perfect!"
Bartie beams, "Well. That's all because you taught me and," he shifts a bit nervously as he searches for his mother's eyes who sticks up her thumb. Drake cocks up his brows, "What is it bud?"
"I wanted to ask you something. Miss Riley asked all of us to make a Christmas Wish and she had an idea to make mine come true and it involves you!"
Drake grins, "Me?"
Bartie nods, "I told her that I wanted to share the love with everyone in Cordonia because I've got so much of that coming from everyone around me. And she asked me what love would look like if I would be able to hold it in my hands. I immediately thought of a s'mores."
"So, you guys set this up?"
He nods again, "Yes, but she noticed that I was a little bit sad that I couldn't share it with anyone, but it's kind of hard to make s'mores for everyone right?"
"Sure, yeah."
"So miss Riley thought that it might be fun to make a 'how to build the most perfect s'more' tutorial video for everyone to see. All my friends can watch it later when they forget and I'm not there and even kids from around the world can see and learn and they can have just as awesome moments as we share when we're camping! Because I really like those moments!"
Drake's tearing up right now and he swallows hard. He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to Savannah who's tearing up as well. "Told you that you are doing a great job as an uncle." A gentle smile appears on Drake's face and he turns back to Bartie.
"So do you want to do make a video together?"
"Of Course bud," and he quickly wipes away an escaped tear, before pulling Bartie into another hug, "I love you little one."
"I love you too!" And he looks over to his mother, "Are we ready to go?"
"We have to wait a bit longer!" Savannah smiles and turns to Drake, "Riley headed five minutes ago to set up a small camp, maybe you can see if she needs some help? It's over the lawn at the edge of the forest."
He nods and ruffles Bartie over his head, "See you soon bud."
He gets up on his feet and together with Savannah, he walks back to Mable. "I'm really glad that you want to do this, brother."
He shrugs and he glances over to Bartie who's back to helping Lucy with toasting another set of Marshmallows, "I do anything for that kid." And he slings an arm around her shoulder, "You know that right?"
"I do... I do... But you really need to be on your way, Drake."
He narrows his eyes, "Is there something you're having up your sleeve, sis?"
"Me? Tssk, no! What would that be?"
"Well, the thing is that I expected at least a dozen 'hands off' speeches since everyone seems to be taken aback by miss Herreld."
Savannah chuckles, "Oh she can take of herself, don't worry about that. But let me say this. Touch her and I make you marry her." And a mischief grin appears on her face, "So please do touch her. She's amazing so if you decide to get slapped in the face by faith this is the moment. I would not oppose having her as a sister."
Drake rolls his eyes, "Dream on sis. And faith better has a quick uppercut when it wants to strike, because I'm not planning on being hit anytime soon."
She grins, "Whatever you say big bro of mine." And with a smile, he moves towards the lawn to search for Riley to help as his phone rings. While walking he takes his phone out of his pocket. He frowns and takes the call, "Hey Li, what's up?"
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Meanwhile. Riley
Riley wiggles on the beat of 'rocking around the Christmas tree' coming out of her wireless earplugs as she lays the still wrapped-up tent, chairs, firewood, and camera in place as a preparation to set up camp.
She takes a deep breath and looks down at the things spread out before her. It's been a little over five years since she last went camping, and even the fact that she bought everything new four years ago when she came to Corndonia is not preventing the forming lump in her throat at all the memories.
Her dad didn't like it, but it was her favorite thing to do with her mom.
Making a campfire, sleeping under the stars in summer and in winter the two of them in the tent.
Riley never managed to sit still for long, but she and her mom could talk all night while staring into a fire. It brought peace and quiet in her head.
The most wonderful memories were created, but also difficult memories. Because as the last wish her mom took her out camping, and... She once again takes a deep breath as she pushes the memory away. The image of her mom being so ill. Lying next to her in the grass while staring at the stars with still that damned smile on her face. She feels her eyes fill up with tears. No crying. Happy thoughts, Riley. Happy thoughts. She was strong, you need to be strong too. She takes her phone out of her pocket and checks her music list.
Music has always been a big part of her life. It was never quiet at home, either the radio was playing or her mother was singing and dancing. It's in her blood, but so personal that she doesn't share her dancing and singing with everyone. Her mom however loved to perform, she was always the center of attention. I wish I had her guts.
Where her mom was always drawn to pianos at party's and started singing and playing without even asking, the only one for whom she sings is her dad. Every year at Christmas as he once again tells about him meeting her mom, how he fell in love with her. How he practically hated the song, found it overrated, cheesy before he heard her sing it.
She scrolls through her music list and her thumb freezes above the song. Happy memories, happy feelings.
She presses play and some familiar bells take her immediately back to the Christmas's where her mom dances through the room while singing her lungs out, leaving her dad time after time captivated.
Without thinking, she starts dancing towards her tent and starts building it, while she loses herself in the cheesy music. Her feet are moving through the snow, hands working while her voice fills the cold night air. And for a second she's back in her old living room, dancing with her mom.
"I don't want a lot for Christmas
Theeeeeeeeere is just one thing IIII neeeeeed
I don't care about the presents... underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish cooooome truuuuuueeeeeee
Aaaaaaaaall I want for Christmaaaaaaaas iiiiiiiiis you.....
Yeah....
I Don't want a lot...
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Meanwhile. Drake.
Drake's on the phone with Liam as he moves over the lawn. His eyes are fixated on the snow under his feet to avoid falling. The snow is untouched except for the one set of footprints, which makes it easy to find where to go.
"Hi, Li, What's up? If you're calling about the photos you've sent today... I'm not interested."
"Hi, Drake! And even though it's a kind of a bummer to hear, it's not why I'm calling."
Drake cocks up his brows in surprise, "Is everything alright?"
"Depends, are you still on the Christmas Market?"
Drake glances over his shoulders, "Technically walking away from it... Why?"
"Oh good. Calling you right in time! After visiting we got these great gift baskets today, with all kinds of homemade goods. But..." Drake can hear how Liam hesitates for a second, "But the cookies are already gone and I wanted to ask Riley if she had any left because they're freaking delicious."
"Wow," blinks Drake, "They're even worth a careful swear from our king?"
"Yeah, look. I tried to call Riley myself. But she's not picking up."
"Wow, wow," and he stops short, "You've got her number?" He hears Liam swallow at the other end of the line, "You know. For business purposes."
"Right, and Olivia thinks about it that way too?"
"Ehm..."
"Seriously Liam? She doesn't know, does she now?"
"She's really great, don't judge me. Somehow I've got the feeling that I've missed an opportunity, but I'm happy with Liv. Absolutely!"
"Wait, what did you say? Drake blinks at his words. What is up with everyone?
"Forget it, just ask about those cookies okay?"
Drake rolls his eyes and starts walking again, "I'm just about to meet her for the first time Li, I'm not going to..." He falls silent as he suddenly hears something. Is that singing?
He looks up to a small campsite where he sees a woman singing and dancing while building a tent.
"Drake, are you there? What do I hear? Something sounds really good, is there live music?"
"Li, I've got to go!"
"But..." Drake hangs up the phone before Liam can say anything else.
His eyes locked on the woman dancing in the distance. That's the same long red coat, the same scarf, the same woolen cap, her long dark hair dancing on her shoulders while her moves are captivating.
Oh no. Oh no. No. No.
It can't be, right?
Is running an option?
Bartie...
No...
Fuck!
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Part three: Part three. When Riley finally met Drake.
Taglist in comments, please let me know if you want to be added or removed!
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heartofspells · 2 years ago
Note
Welcome to today’s lecture on 5SOS5 and Harry Potter, today’s lecture is on Moodswings.
“I can tell by the look in your eyes / That you don't wanna fight on a Friday night / Living my life, lookin' from the outside / I hope you don't mind that I ruined our time / I can tell by the look in your eyes / That you just wanna get on a one-way flight / 'Cause you don't ever trust this mind of mine.” Remus and Sirius who can tell that their relationship is broken beyond repair, the war has damaged their foundation too thoroughly, but neither one wants to actually admit “I love you, I think you’re the spy, I can’t trust you, I’m pretty sure you’re the enemy now and you’ll stab us all in the back, why did you betray everyone you loved and everything you believed in, how could you, I’ll never forgive you” but they’re both thinking it, and have made the tacit agreement to avoid discussing it as much as possible, but they know that the fight is coming, and it will tear them apart. All their friends and them swore each other the war wouldn’t break them, a war will not break years of friendship, but time made liars of them all. Neither wants to fight, they want to go back to the beginning when they were in love and on the same side, but that’s long gone, they’re just postponing the fight because they know they’ll never recover once they admit out loud “I truly think you’re the spy, and I can never get past this, our relationship was over the second you went to Voldemort.” They can both see the other doesn’t want to fight, but they know it’s coming sooner rather than later, they just want to cling to what they had as long as possible. Sirius who knows Remus doesn’t trust him because everyone he grew up with is on the opposite side of the war, they keep offering him a place in their ranks when nobody else has ever gotten as many offers, most people only get one and they never get another chance once they’ve rejected it, but Sirius has received countless offers and he has not suffered for his numerous rejections; Sirius who is so, so loyal and once it was his family that had that loyalty, and Remus can no longer have faith that it’s the Order and the Marauders that have it now because there’s a spy and well, Sirius did grow up with most of the Death Eaters, maybe he’s just not capable of leaving his roots behind. Remus who knows Sirius doesn’t trust him now that Remus is off spying on the werewolves but hasn’t told him, Remus keeps disappearing for long periods of times with no explanation and Remus is watching Sirius‘s trust in him die day by day until it reached the point where Sirius doesn’t even ask where he’s been because Sirius doesn’t want to hear another lie and see more cracks grow in their relationship.
“I can tell when you're slippin' from me / Even when it's only subconsciously / On the edge of the bed as you're fallin' asleep / I think I need you more than you need me” Sirius and Remus who know that the other is pulling away, but they have so little left because of the war that they’re clinging to a relationship they know is broken, to a man they can’t even trust anymore. Sirius and Remus know that they desperately need the other, but clearly that’s not reciprocated if their partner betrayed everything and everyone they cared about, but they have almost nothing else.
Honestly, I could probably write an entire apparel on each lyric and how it can apply to the First Wizarding War, but in the interest of not sending in an essay for an ask, I’ll leave it off here
alk;jdf/;oWIAJF?
I almost deleted this by mistake!
But there we have it, one down, a million to go. Professor Evil Anon is a lecturing madman and I might be falling in love a little.
Guh
I'm currently regretting all of my decisions every, especially being born with ears. Or a brain. But it's fine no it's not what have i do i've stabbed a beast
Also, my evilest of anons, are you in my music server? Because if you're not...I think you should be. And look, I won't even react or point it out if you suddenly join. I'll just go about my business, silently screaming and throwing heartbreaking songs at you, but I do those sorts of things to people I like.
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reallybadfeeling · 3 years ago
Text
My Obikin Playlist Masterpost
I'm gonna try to explain my reasoning, but you can give each song whatever interpretation you want. Also, use them however you want if any of them inspire you to make something creative.
(PS: Sorry for my ranting on the first song. I'm very passionate about it in particular.) (Tagging @imtryingsstuff because she asked for it. Even though I was already working on this post before she asked. I have way too much free time.)
☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧
❧ Heart + Bones - Roisin O
I've tried to sit down and write this song out Feels like a thousand times But I was always too scare of what I might find But if I keep on blocking this pain out It might be too late To heal my heart somehow Don't wanna open that wound Don't wanna replay that night Don't wanna think about you You are no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know that love is gone 'Cause if I let myself think of you I might lose my mind It's the heart and bones It's an empty soul The dreams at night that shake me to my core And I can't get up off this floor It's in the bones of me An empty soul in me The dreams at night that shake me to my core I can't get off this floor [...] Don't wanna think about you When you're no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know this love is gone [...] The dreams at night that shake me to my core I just can't take this hurting anymore [...] Don't wanna think about you You are no longer mine Don't wanna write you a love song When I know this love is gone 'Cause if I let my mind think of you I might lose it all I've tries to sit down and write this song out Feels like a thousand times
A fair warning: each and every break-up song in this playlist is basically me crying at the idea of a very heart broken Obi-Wan post RotS alone on Tatooine. But for this song in particolar I mention the repetitions with the slight differences because in my eyes they are actually HUGE! The more the song goes on, the more Obi-Wan is spiraling! The way it specifically tells that the empty soul is his the second time, like he accepts that despite what Anakin did he still thinks there's a soul there to save, and the idea of not doing so makes his soul feel empty. And the switch from "get up off this floor" to "get off this floor", literally him being so desperate he stops thinking that he wants to get up (and the last time it literally becomes "i just can't take this hurting anymore", because Obi-Wan had to see so many people he loves die, he literally can't take any more breaking of his heart). The first "you are no longer mine" is the realization hitting him, but then it becomes "when you are no longer mine" and that feels like acceptance of that realization (but then later in the song it turns back to "you are no longer mine" like he's so desperate he wants to deny it once again, distance himself from it)! The switch from "that love" from "this love", like the first time he's thinking about how Anakin no longer loves him, but then realizes that no matter how much he still loves Anakin, there is actually nothing he can do about how everything is broken. But most of all the first time it's "if I let myself think of you I might lose my mind", which is Obi-Wan still being rational about things, or at least trying not to let his mind linger on the thought of Anakin; but then at the end it becomes "if I let my mind think of you I might lose it all", because he's already thinking about Anakin and he can't let his mind linger on it, otherwise he would realize how much he lost when he lost Anakin, which is everything. And the ending too, by repeating the start, but now it has a feeling of resignation to it, like at first he was literally scared to let himself linger on his feelings because he knew he would find heart break, but now he's just empty and at the same times he knows he'll feel like that a thousand times more, because he just can't let that hurt go, he can't let his love for Anakin be forgotten. ... I love this song and it shows. I mean, the playlist is literally named after it for a good reason. I swear I'll be less wordy for every other explanation.
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❧ Black Hole - Griff
It seems like things are going really well for you I wish that I could say the same about me too I wish that I could say the same [...] Without a trace You disappeared and took some of me with you, babe Like the way I used to laugh untile my belly ached Well, that's all gone away now And boy, you know I've tried to pray, I've bruised my knees I've tried to bring you back to me I've tried my best to find some kind of peace Don't you see? There's a big black hole where my heart used to be And I've tried my best to fill it up with things I don't need It don't work like that, no, it's not easy To fill this gap that you left in me
So, I see this as a song for an AU, maybe a Modern Au. Something basic like the two of them maybe being neighbors and Obi-Wan maybe being a tutor for Anakin when he was a teen, and Anakin having a huge crush on him. But then Obi-Wan marries and Anakin is heart broken. (Don't worry the idea is also that Obi-Wan gets a divorce and comes back to Anakin, but still, the song fits for the first part of this idea). But feel free to see whatever else you want in it.
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❧ Gone, Gone, Gone - Phillip Phillips
I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bride To make you well, to make you well When enemies are at your door I'll carry you away from war [...] Give me reasons to believe That you would do the same for me And I will do it for you, for you Baby, I'm not moving on I'll love you long after you're gone
This is honestly a classic. It would fit with any ship, but that line about lying, cheating, etc... That screams Anakin. Like, literally canon that he would do anything to keep the person he loves with him.
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❧ What You Talking About? - Peter Bjorn and John
You used to be my hero Now you're just another boss [...] Five years as your understudy When I can't understand what you talking about [...] Tell me lies and I will listen Tell the truth and I'll be gone Tell me why I need permission [...] Shining in your shadow How could I sink this low? Our acquaintance has been so-so And I can't understand where my patience's gone
These lyrics just give me very frustrated Anakin as a Padawan trying to navigate his relationship with Obi-Wan. Not very romantic or shippy, but still relevant in my opinion.
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❧ Bruci la città - Irene Grandi
(Let) The city burn down or live in fear (that) within two hours everything will disappear anything else will disappear [...] I can't stop (myself) from screaming That I hold you to my heart To protect you from evil That I wish I could soothe Your pain, your pain [...] (Let) The stars explode (Let) The whole thing explode (Let) Everything other than the two of us die At least for a little bit At least as a mistake [...] I want to get my act together Maybe be better And shield you with my heart From catastrophe and fear
Don't really know why, but this makes me think of a quiet moment in the middle of the Clone Wars, just Anakin and Obi-Wan alone in a tent, hoping to have a moment of peace in each other's arms. (If you want the full lyrics translated let me know, I just picked my favorite parts)
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❧ Atlantis - Seafret
We got here the hard way All those words that we exchange Is it any wonder things get dark? 'Cause it's in my heart, it's in my head I never take back the things I said [...] I can't save us My Atlantis, we fall We've built this town on shaky ground [...] Now all the birds have fled The hurt just leaves me scared Losing everything I've ever known It's all become too much Maybe I'm not built for love If I knew that I could reach you, I would go
SO MUCH OBI-WAN ANGST POST-ROTS! Like, the birds that have fled are the Jedi that survived Order 66, the things impossible to take back a reference to the entire conversation between Anakin and Obi-Wan during their duel... And the one thing that always breaks me: "maybe I'm not built for love", which makes me think about that "infinte sadness" thing that comes from one of the novels. *chef kiss*
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❧ No Time To Die - Billie Eilish
I should have known I'd leave alone Just goes to show That the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe We were a pair [...] You were my life, but like is far away from fair Was I stupid to love you? Was I reckless to help? Was it obvious to everybody else? That I'd fallen for a lie You were never on my side [...] I let it burn You're no longer my concern Faces from my past return Another lesson yet to learn
Don't know about you, but this always makes me think of a lonely and bitter Obi-Wan after RotS. There's also another way of reading this honestly. This could absolutely be Anakin spiraling at the end of RotS, convinced that Padmé doesn't love him anymore; and then Vader facing Luke (the face from the past returning) and realizing the one who always lied to him was Palpatine.
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❧ White Flag - Dido
I know I left too much mess and Destruction to come back again And I caused nothing but trouble I understand if you can't talk to me again And if you live by the rules of "it's over" Then I'm sure that that makes sense But I will go down with this ship And I won't put my hands up and surrender There will be no white flag above my door I'm in love and always will be And when we meet Which I'm sure we will All that was there Will be there still I'll let it pass And hold my tongue And you will think That I've moved on
There's no doubt that this song has been overused. And it is a very classic meme, so sometimes it's hard to take it seriously. But I still love it. And I can't help but relate this to something with Vader trying to redeem himself but failing at that too, and his and Obi-Wan's relationship still being broken as fuck.
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❧ Fight the End - The playground
When it's all falling apart I'll be the one who can hold you Console you When everything's getting dark And you can't find the spark To get through I'll fight for you till the end Whatever's broken I'll mend For you If you think it's all gone Just breathe in and hold on Till the end of time
Once again, just some H/C during the Clone Wars kind vibes, but also good for an apocalypse AU of some kind.
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❧ Hanging On A Lie - Striking Matches
I'm not mentioning a specific part of this song, because the entire thing in my head is just the whole journey of Anakin turning to the Dark Side and then turning back to the Light right before he died. Seriously, up until the first chorus, it's just Anakin talking about what he feels like about Padmé's supposed betrayal. ("Baby you've been up to something / don't you tell me it's not what it looks like" but also "I might have been naive but I'm not blind" and "Don't you know you should know better than this / Than to cover up the truth with your poisonous lips/I'm not falling for it this time"). The second half of the song is Vader facing Luke. ("I'll be the one who got away from you when you / finally figure it out / you won't find me"). And the last part is Vader realizing all the lies Palpatine told him all alon. ("I'm not fallin' for it this time/try and try too little too late" and again the "you should know better than this/than to cover up the truth with you poisonous lips") A bit of a weird interpretation, that's for sure. But look at me making a song about cheating all about Anakin's journey!
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❧ Bloodsport '15 - Raleigh Ritchie
Your love is worth it and for that I will wait And though you hate me when you have a turn I drive you crazy, but you always return [...] Although you love me, sometimes we're mean Things can get ugly, but we're still a team We are an army that breaks from withing but That's why we're stronger and that's how we'll win [...] I've got your back, and though it's stacked against us I've got your hand, it's us against consensus And I will burn the people who hurt you the worst and I will no learn Cause I am too young and too dumb to consider the terms of breaking the law And I'll curse the day that they return With a smile on my face as their heads hit the floor And they're done, now it's curtains, the bloodlust's a clusterfuck, it hurts but it's working And even if you ask me to stop, it's too late because I've already decided their fate It's not a distaste, it's pure hate and it pulsates and it works its way around my brain Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I'll protect you till the day I meet my maker So don't fight me now cause you might need me later Loving you is a bloodsport Fighting in a love war It's not what I'm in love for, I'm yours I don't know if you can help it, maybe I'm just being selfish
Soooo, basically Anakin doing to Obi-Wan what he did to Padmé: loving him so much he thinks he has to turn to the Dark Side to save him. The first part I can almost imagine said by Obi-Wan, actually. Like, he's aware that sometimes Anakin hates their dynamics, but also that they are both in love... Which just ends with total madness.
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❧ Sweet Love of Mine - Joy Williams
I was broken, I was blind Lost in a moment I thought I left behind Then you woke up this dark soul of mine Carrying a light I thought I'd never find When you found me, I was all alone The whole world around me, but nowhere to call home I heard your voice sing like heaven's choir Gathered up my fears and threw them in the fire
I'm well aware this song is about pregnancy and how the singer found herself in the experience of becoming a mother. BUT, hear me out: what about an AU with either one of them being a Sith and the other one is still a Jedi. Instead of fighting each other, the Jedi tries to save the Sith, because they realize that the Sith actually never had a chance to be anything else since they grew up with a Sith as their "parent" and Master. But if we still want to keep the pregnancy element, fuck it! It's perfect for an Omegaverse AU, with Anakin maybe about to fall when he finds out he's pregnant and that is how Obi-Wan and their unborn child save Anakin. (Is this very specific? Yes. Do I care? Nope, and that's why this song made it into the playlist.)
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❧ Senza fare sul serio - Malika Ayane
There's a post on my blog already about why this song makes me think about the Jedi Order in general. I know I should probably keep it in a different playlist. Alas, it's still here. Have a link to my previous post if you are interested on reading a complete translation and the explanation of my reasoning. HERE!
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❧ Conversations in the Dark - John Legend
I will never try to change you, change you I will always want the same you, same you Swear on everything I pray to That I won't break your heart I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely Keep the secrets that you told me, told me And your love is all you owe me And I won't break your heart [...] And we, we got places we both gotta be But there ain't nothing I would rather do Then blow off all my plans for you
It's just such a lovely love song, I couldn't help myself. This seriously gives me sappy Obi-Wan vibes in any way, shape or form.
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❧ If You Ever Leave, I'm Coming With You - The Wombats
You know I'll do Whatever you want me to [...] Take you out of this You reluctant optimist And if you ever leave, I'm coming with you Stuck to the gum that's stuck on your shoe If you ever leave, I'm coming with you [...] Am I losing you in the dark baby? No more breaking stuff No more acting up Filling your head with doubt
A song about the obsessive kind of love that hints of a way too dependent relationship? Something that mentions losing themselves in the dark? Of fucking course I relate this to Anakin and the way he loves people!
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❧ Transplant - Sea Girls
You're breaking all the promises tonight I'm always dancing by myself as the music plays I'm always one step behind, off-beat, out of place Now I'm looking for you, you're looking away [...] Your heart changed Mine stayed the same I don't recognize your voice when you're saying my name Your heart changed And mine beats the same way [...] Wish I could be back in the moment We were shining, we were making mistakes 'Til your heart changed Mine stayed the same
Have I mentioned that I have a lot of RotS feels? Yeah, so, in my head the "dancing" works like an analogy to fighting and the "music" is literally the sound of battle. Which is why this fits perfectly as far as I'm concerned. An even the "always one step behind" part is just Obi-Wan not realizing Anakin was slowly turning to the Dark Side. But it can be related also to how Anakin basically felt like he didn't truly belong with the Jedi.
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❧ Read my Mind - JONES
Can't control my thoughts But I'm trying every day [...] But sometimes I want impossible things When you hear my voice, what does it say? Need a language, we're lost in translation From impossible thoughts and feelings Why don't you know before I know? What I need to say, before I can How come you don't have the answer Before I asked you the question? Wish you could read my mind [...] It's been a long time since we've been together In the same world, just want you to look at me Like I was everything you ever wanted again [...] Just hold me like I'm everything you wanted again
A good song of the two people pining will always make me think of those two dorks. And their feeling are definitely lost in translation even in canon, with Anakin never realizing how much Obi-Wan actually cares for him because of Palpatine's manipulations.
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❧ So Much It Hurts - Niki & The Dove
Oh, I ask you where you've been 'Cause you always come home late nowadays What a fool was I to think we were safe From the thieves in the temple [...] Oh, won't you bring it back? After all that we've been through together Is it now you gonna throw it all away? Oh, a love like ours Tell me, was it worth it? Oh, the thieves in the temple Oh, but you said that For better for worse You would always be there for me Always be there for me Always be there for me like I'll always be there for you Good times and bad times
So this screams Padmé being cheated on. Like, Anakin still married to her, yet he is always sneaking away after they spend time together to be in the Temple with Obi-Wan. Like, Obi-Wan is literally the thief in the Temple that steals Anakin away from her. (Which I'm sure is actually a metaphor for how the couples' marriage is the temple and someone is disrespecting it by taking away the other's lover. But look at me making this literal, 'cause why not!).
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❧ Power & Control - Marina
Give a little, get a lot That's just how you are with love [...] Think you're funny, think you're smart Think you're gonna break my heart Think you're funny, think you're smart Yeah, you may be good looking But you're not a piece of art [...] Power and control I'm gonna make you fall I'm gonna make you fall We give and take a little more 'Cause all my life I've been controlled You can't have peace without a war
Another song for an AU, this time one with both of them being Sith, most likely being enemies too at first. Before they decide to work together against Anakin's Master.
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❧ No Hero - Elisa
Don't you shut your eyes And hide you heart behind a shadow 'Cause you can count on me As long as I can breathe [...] I've fallen from grace Yeah, I'm much less a saint than a sinner Oh, no I ain't no superhuman 'Cause that's just in the movies, I know But I'll carry you throught the night Through the storm Give you love, always love in return I can't jump over buildings I'm no hero But love can do miracles I can't outrun a bullet 'Cause I'm no hero But I would take one for you [...] 'Cause I'm no hero But I'd spill my blood for you If you need me to I'll be there
Another song from an Italian artist, but this one is in English! And I totally see this song for a scenario where one of the two isn't a Jedi or even for a Modern AU. But it can totally work for Canon compliant too because Anakin is the one every calls hero with no fear. It fits then if Obi-Wan tells Anakin that he doesn't feel like a hero, but he would do anything for Anakin.
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SOOOO, this post is getting way to long (like, it was way too long even just with the first song). And I made it to an even 20 songs. I feel like this a nice place to stop for now. Don't worry, these are just the first 20. I have more in my private playlist, but I want to make another post like this when I add them to the public one. Because I can. And that's what I'm gonna do.
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frickenfaded · 3 years ago
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--SFW--
This is my first headcanon ever. It's kind of a headcanon anyway.. This is how I think the Feral Boys would react to (f!) Reader getting mad over something stupid while she's on her period.
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Dream
It was about midday and {Y/n} had to force herself to get out of bed to retrieve food. She decided she would get cereal and return straight to her blankets. Once in the quite kitchen, she reached up in a cabinet and grabbed a bowl, however she accidentally set it down way too hard and the brittle glass bowl shattered everywhere.
She was absolutely enraged. All she wanted was a bowl of cereal and *this* is what she gets? It didn't take long after to hear the thomping footsteps of her boyfriend coming down the stairs to see what the commotion was about. {Y/n} stood with her arms crossed, about to make a move for the broom. "Fucking damnit." She cursed, unbelievably mad at the smallest event.
Dream ended up beating {Y/n} to the broom, sweeping up the shards of glass that littered the tile. He was being extremely careful and thinking his words over before speaking. He knew she was in her period, and that meant she gets angered easily and doesn't like being clung onto by anyone during the week. However, he recognized that she still appreciates his presence.
He steps a little closer, giving a small forehead kiss to his girlfriend before resuming the cleaning. "Baby, if you want too, you can lay in my bed while I edit. I'll clean this up and bring you some cereal." He suggested. "How did you know I even wanted cereal?" She asked. "Because, that's normally what you crave." He answered. She thought for a moment before deciding to take him up on his offer. "Thank you, baby." She mutters before heading upstairs.
George
The relationship between {Y/n} and George was still fairly new, this being their third month together. Therefore, he still isn't exactly sure what his girlfriend needs during her special time of the month. However, he's sort of getting the idea. It's just a bit tricky for him to know for sure when she's going through it, because she doesn't tell a soul. She leaves them guessing, taking pride in it even.
But this time was a little different. She was laying down in bed, trying to read the book "Water for Elephants" by Sara Gruen, when the realization struck her that she was currently using her last (pad/tampon/other). She didn't want to leave her bed, much less her house. She angrily closed her book and slammed in down on the nightstand, thinking over her options in her mind.
George just happened to be passing by her door whenever she slammed her book. It startled him a little, but he entered her room nonetheless. Although she heard him come in, she refused to tear her focus away from her thoughts. George knew something was up a couple days ago. The possibility of her monthly happening was a thought, but he wasn't 100% sure.
"Is everything okay?" He asked, walking over to the edge of the bed before sitting down. "No." She immediately answers, crossing her arms over her chest. She still didn't really want to give in that easily, though. She still had her pride, despite her situation. "What happened?" He wondered. "Nothing." She replied, avoiding his careful gaze.
"C'mon, Love, we both know that isn't true." He says, softening his tone of voice. She almost instantly melts into his stare. She huffs out a breath, however desperate to keep her silence. He treads lightly, brushing a strand of messy hair from her face, whilst caressing her cheek in the meantime. She finally gives way, breaking through to him as if a dam just broke. "Fine." She states.
He smiles, knowing he won without asking the question that would set him up for failure. "I'm on my last (pad/tampon/other) and I don't want to leave the house." She explained. George breaks into a small fit of laughter. "Was it really something that simple? That's nothing compared to what I thought was wrong. But I can get you what you need, Love." He says, after narrowly avoiding a harsh glare. "Would you like anything else while I'm gone?" He wonders. "Hm.. Maybe some chocolate... Please." She answers. He nods before giving her a swift kiss.
Sapnap
Sapnap.. Is quite the special case, to say the least. He does n o t pick up on hints very well... Which leaves him very lost and confused when his girlfriend all of the sudden starts acting a lot different than normal and suddenly more distant with him. She didn't exactly mean too, it was just what happens during her period.
He was scared that he did something wrong because of this, but he couldn't come up with a reason why. Did he leave the toilet seat up? Maybe he accidentally ignored her? What if he forgot about something they were supposed to do? Dear God, did he forget their anniversary or her birthday or something? Despite what he thought he did, he wanted to try and "make things right."
He entered her bedroom as she watching a John Mulaney special on Netflix. He stood beside her bed. "Hey, could we play Pokémon together?" He asked. "No. I don't feel like it." She didn't mean to add the annoyed tone to her voice, but she did. She was just annoyed in general. "D-Did I do something wrong?" He asked, scared of her answer. It was then when she realized she was being short with him and distant.
She sighed, knowing she owed him an explanation now. "I'm sorry, Darling. I didn't mean to come across like that. I'm just... cramping really bad today, and I'm really really really craving some ice cream, but I don't want to get up either." She explains, rambling just a little bit. He blushes a little when he realizes what was going on, but he quickly retrieves some ice cream for the both of them, before joining her in bed and finishing the John Mulaney special together.
Karl
Manz is prepared. I'm talking, he's got a secret box in his closet filled with everything she may need, from pads, to tampons, to chocolates, to a heating pad, he has it all. He's so dedicated to making sure he does everything right that he has a period tracker app on his phone to know when she's about to start. Therefore, he knows when he needs to back up and give you some breathing room.
So one day, when his girlfriend got very upset just because her phone died, he knew exactly why. "Do you need absolutely anything? I brought you a chocolate bar." He says when he hears the ruckus from her room. She softens up almost immediately, always touched by the way he knows what to do and say.
"Thank you.. Could you plug my phone up, please?" She asks. He happily jumps on the simple task, despite her charger literally being right beside her. "And maybe... could we cuddle for a little while too?' She wonders. He smiles brightly. "Definitely." He agrees, before slipping in bed with her as they start to watch Hamilton for the third time.
Quackity
Quackity seems to think it's comedy gold whenever his girlfriend gets infuriated by the tiniest things. He was sitting on the couch, watching something on the T.V., while {Y/n} came out of her room for the first time since today. She came to get a snack herself, not wanting to bother her boyfriend much.
But what she failed to notice as she was walking through the Living Room, was the Thanos doll that Quackity completely forgot to pick up earlier. And of course, she stepped on the damned thing. She yelped, almost falling over thanks to the toy. In a fit of rage, she picked the doll up and stomped over to one of the open windows, throwing it as hard as she could into the outside world.
Quackity could not stop laughing from the moment she stepped on the plastic toy, now laughing harder than ever because of it. "Shut up! It's your stupid fucking fault the thing was left there anyway!" She cursed, clearly displeased. He didn't listen, of course. "I-I'm sorry." He said through his laughter. As much as she wanted to stay mad, his laughter was contagious.
She ended up bursting with laughter as well, their voices mixing like milk and honey in the atmosphere. {Y/n} joined Quackity on the couch, laying across his lap as he played with her hair, the two starting to talk about random topics. She always went through a few days on her period where she was just a little more clingy than the others, but Quackity just learned to accept that. He wouldn't say it exactly, but he did actually enjoy it.
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That's it for this one lovelies! As I mentioned, this is indeed my first headcanon ever and actual content post I've posted on Tumblr. Therefore, I hope it wasn't too shabby. I'll get the hang of things soon, but for now, if you'd like to read any other things I've posted, the list is short, because I am pretty new here, but this option is available to you though this link:
My Creations♡
I hope you enjoy your stay here! Requests are always open! ♡♡
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