#but i really love them idk like yea the marketing is working on me and i want the spit shirt

[mattodore]

boycrazy

+ i know the second photo is already sexy on its own, but i need everyone to know that matthias is holding theo's ankle like this <3

[hua-mo-jin-is-a-cutie]

Vocal Synth Headcanons as of March 2024

I wanna share my new headcanons as they've changed a lot and also I feel like tumblr will either ignore them or appreciate them quietly. These headcanons will include sexuality, romantic attraction, relationships, species, age, etc. <3

Before I get into this, I wanna preface this with how I view the vocal synth world in my head. In this world, vocal synths as we know them, are singers for hire and the engine(s) that they are on are the companies they work for. The companies that made them are their management team. So vocals like Miku and the cryptonloids have large management teams, aka crypton, but vocals made by singular people like independently owned utaus only have one manager. Some singers are just normal human beings, some are robots, some are literal fae, etc. But yea, the premise for all of this is that they are singers for hire.

Hatsune Miku:

A literal robot. Built in with the personality and intelligence of an adult, but marketed as a teen idol to attract more customers. THE singer for hire at Vocaloid. There are multiple Miku's because she is in such high demand. The one I like to think about specifically is an older original V2 model that has been given more modern upgrades throughout the years. She is in a relationship with Gumi. Non-repulsed asexual, but like physically she has no parts for it so (cough cough I did write wireplay gumiku fanfic cough cough). Bi-romantic.

Gumi Meg Poid

Human, around 24. In a relationship with a specific Miku. Is a single mother to Ryuto (Gachapoid). Very busy work schedule, but always tries her best to make time for her kid and her girlfriend. Lesbian. A good cook. Fell in love with Miku after singing with her a lot. Lives just outside the city in a little house with her son. Miku has keys to her house, but they don't live together because Miku is required to live close to the studio. She's a high school drop out because she found Ryuto. In this AU I have split up Megpoid (her product name) into a middle and last name. I do the same with Ryuto. The Poid family lol. (but not gakpoid because I don't have strong enough opinions about him to include him in this au. Maybe they're siblings idk).

Ryuto Gacha Poid

Gumi's son, not biologically. Currently around 7 years old. Kinda sorta half monster/dinosaur thing? Born from an egg (inspired by the light reading I did of the gachapin wikapedia page one night). Gumi saw a box on her way home from school that said something like "please take me home" and assumed it was gonna be like a cat or something. She had planned to take it to a shelter instead of leaving it in the rain. Inside the box was a large off-white egg with green spots. She assumed it was some kind of decoration and was about to walk away when it started to hatch. And out pops a crying little baby boy with little horns and a tail. What the fuck, she can't just leave him there. And thus, she has a kid now. Middle name is Gacha because gumi thought it was silly how she got him sort of like a gacha game. He is able to suppress his monster parts, but they still come out when he's really emotional. Sweet hyperactive baby boy. Probably has AuDHD. Friends with a lot of the other Vsynth Kiddos, but besties with Mo Jin. Lowkey really into hard rock and metal music (because that's what he's good at singing, I will fight people please let him sing more metal).

Hua Mo Jin

(ough my sweetest baby gorl aaaaaa more people should love you like I do. Some of what I'm about to write is canon from her character info on dsound so) Huamn, 6 years old. Surprisingly very tall for her age (I never draw her tall, but canonically she is like the average height of a 9 year old). Lives with her older sister, Hua Mo Ci, who she received her rabbit plush from. The rabbit plush scares everyone around her, but she thinks it's really sweet and takes it everywhere. She does not like hard foods, her favorite food is peony steamed buns. Autistic for sure. Also has albinism. Very quiet and doesn't talk much, but loves to sing. Does not get hired very often. Besties with Ryuto despite their language barrier. They're both working on learning English. I headcanon that her mother is dead and that she just lives with Mo Ci because it sort of parallels Gumi and Ryuto.

IA

A literal alien from the planet ARIA. This is the human disguise she takes, but her actual form is kinda blob-like and translucent idk I need to draw it out sometime. Has a younger sister named ONE. In human years she's around 19. In a relationship with Flower. Non-repulsed Asexual (can you tell I'm projecting my sexuality onto the robots and aliens yet?). Her species reproduces asexually so she never really thought about it before dating Flower, but she's open to it. Romantically I'd just say queer. I mean she's not even human and her taking on the persona of a woman was kinda arbitrary. Enjoys learning about humans. Very sleepy, she never quite gets used to earth time. Prefers to wear comfy clothes when she's not performing.

ONE

Again, an Alien from ARIA. Around 15 in human years. More energetic than IA. Participates in athletics at the school she's attending. Socially awkward and kinda shy. Somehow the more responsible of the sisters, she usually cooks breakfast because IA doesn't get up early ever. In a relationship with KAFU. Thinks humans are strange creatures. Romantically a Lesbian, but like in a gender queer way. Really looks up to her sister.

Flower

Human. 100% a lesbian you can't convince me otherwise. Somewhere around 21 I think. Another single mom, but to twins this time. It's a whole story. In a relationship with IA. Somehow keeps attracting otherworldly beings into her life. Xin Hua is her cousin, they're around the same age and pretty close.

So here's her single mom backstory. When she was a kid she used to visit her grandparents for the summer along with Xin Hua. They had would play at the little park across the road (out in the country ya know?) and their grandma would always bring them fresh fruit to snack on. So one day she eats some plums and buries the seeds at that little park. And well she stopped staying at her grandparents for the summer. She returns years later after the death of her grandparents to help clean out their house and she notices that a plum tree has grown at that little park. She takes a break to go over there and have a plum for old times sake and 2 kids fall out of the tree like "Mom!!!" Oopsie, she accidentally created 2 plum tree spirits and now she's got kids.

She is a very tired single mother and still can't really believe that this happened, but she loves them all the same and does her best for them.

KAFU

A literal robot. Created with the personality and intelligence of a teenager (16-17. KAF was 17 at the time of recording so KAFU is minor). In a relationship with ONE. Asexual grey-aromantic) Very curious personality. Likes learning things about ARIA from ONE. Very busy work schedule.

MEIKA Hime

One of Flowers little fae kids. Around 11-12. Very bubbly and hyperactive, def has ADHD. Hyperfixated on plants. Attached at the hip to her twin (I mean like an unhealthy kinda codependency for real). Non-binary, They/She. Some kinda queer. Has a crush on Una. Friends with the other middle school age kids (Una, Oliver, etc.). Not very good at academics, but enjoys science. Has psychic powers. Their life is directly affected by the their tree so if the tree gets sick or hurt, so does she. Is a sleepwalker, often ends up scaring people in the middle of the night on accident.

MEIKA Mikoto

The other fae child. Around 11-12. Not talkative at all, very blunt when she does speak. Maybe autistic, but could just be antisocial I'm not sure yet. Attached at the hip to their twin (I mean like an unhealthy kinda codependency for real). Non-binary, They/She/He. Some kinda queer. Hyperfixated on insects. Enjoys horror movies and novels. Hime's rock. Holds a bit of resentment toward Flower for leaving them alone for so long, but it fades after they start living together. Has psychic powers. Their life is directly affected by the their tree so if the tree gets sick or hurt, so does he. They prefer quiet study sessions with Oliver and find Una to be a little overwhelming at times. She enjoys learning about astrology from IA once she starts hanging around more often (when her and Flower start dating).

Kaai Yuki

Human. 9 years old. Poor immune system, often gets sick (bc her voice provider literally had a cold at the time of recording her voicebank). Kiyoteru is her foster parent, but he does eventually adopt her. Really enjoys school and learning. Tutors the littler kids.

Yun Quan

(if it's not obvious this is my fan design for her) Human, around 8. Tall for her age. Snarky and a rich girl. Very protective of her friends and very mean to everyone else. She's not allowed to wear makeup, but really wants to be able to wear it, so she just has a huge collection of lip smackers lip balm.

Otomachi Una

Human, 11. Sees gumi as a sort of big sister / mentor figure since they share a management team. ADHD. Hyperfixated on marine life, specifically eels. Since she like canonically has different personas (Sugar, Spicy, and Talk) that all seem very different, I sort of have this idea that she has DID and that those personas her her different alters, but I don't have DID and don't wanna misrepresent it so I'm hesitant with that one. My other idea for it that I lean more toward is that they're her different ways of masking. So like Spicy could be her preformance mask, sugar could be how she is in everyday life, and talk could be how she presents in school. I know I (my autistic ass) have different masks for different social settings. Also Una is really into Scene fashion and 100% drinks Monster. She is in marching band.

Oliver

Zombie boy. around 11. Soft spoken and anxious. has a pet bird named James. His whole family is some kinda monster. Self concious about his stitches so he covers them with bandages, but that just draws more attention to him. Does not like going to school or really in public at all. Afraid of water. Close friends with Mikoto and Yuki.

I have more but I've been at this for a while so I'll add to this later lol

[nathank77]

4/21/24

12:44 a.m

Okay so I looked into fb privacy setting and I don't think fb is fucking with me. You can directly control posts youre tagged in being hidden from your profile/being public. You can view for everyone.

Appearantly my main profile is very exposing and I have some privacy settings to set cause you don't even have to friend me to see almost everything which is ridiculous. That's besides the point.

I realize why the post section became empty. It's bc you have to select, "already seen," and, "recent posts." Other than that everything else goes under the person you searches name, kinda like a direct link.

So I'm going to go with this, you're here, you might have feelings for me but regardless of that- you did try to tell me you want me to be apart of your family one day. Now you're withholding doing anything but being that, "post," section was empty for so long and I didn't toggle settings I question a lot of what was there cause there is more. Things that aren't linked.

I don't want to say I'm going here or there and hoping you'll be there. Maybe I'll go to the cbd store around the 14th or something but idk I'll prob just order online. I get percentages off. It's convenient and saves me gas and money in terms of cost.

I only bring up the cbd store cause I don't go places and the towel is thrown in on glasses. I'm not wearing them anymore at least most of the time. Thats the only other activity except community service I'd be doing sometimes that wouldn't be going out of my way to find you. And I did say I'm not going anywhere to find you. I'm going places that make sense to my life. Like I'm going to New Hampshire around May 15th for cigarettes. Market basket in Swanzey. I absolutely don't expect you to be there but that's kinda my point. I'm only going places that make sense financially and is something I actually need to do.

I needed to say I tried with the glasses and I did, it was utter failure.

Idk if you want me to be apart of your family or if you see a drooling lunatic with psychosis

Now at least I know why that, "post," section was empty. I only wish I figured that out days ago.

All I know is I don't believe you'd fuck around with my feelings. I was so mad lens crafters was such a bust and I figured that one post meant we are on to west farms but I guess all I am going to say is:

Idk how you feel about me.

I'm not going to ask for confirmation. I wish you'd post the family photo but you did and it'd been up and down so much so- I will take that as you might one day reach out to me? Or try to find me? Idk..

All I know factually is there is no gray area. You aren't a provider to me or a past therapist and I'll await the day I find you somewhere I post about. Or I see a text from you. You have my number.

That Nathan at the brass mill mall will haunt me forever but my glasses were useless, yet I saw only Spanish people anyways.

I keep thinking of overboard-when the two soulmates swam to eachother. Arturo...

My brain either really wants to hang on to this delusion that you have feelings for me or there are mental messages. I don't believe in mental messages but I don't believe fb is fucking with me either.

What I believe is maybe one day you'll send me a text. Or maybe you'll use my tumblr as a way to find me but as for right now I'm not going anywhere cause I don't need anything.

Maybe I'll do community service to meet women. Idk. Working with kids make me happy but if it feels like a job I'm not doing it and also I'm always stressed anyways.

The southbury tango is off, its pricey and far and yea what's the point? Community services makes more sense. I don't have to pay to do it. I can't afford dance classes.

I hope one day you find me or just message me. I mean I love you so much I just want to be there for you and have a family that loves me. However your happiness means more to me than what I want.

[foxstens]

i think im playing revelations wrong

so it seems the exclamation mark i kept avoiding was actually just an introduction to recruiting potential assassins and doesn’t start sequence 3 like i thought... i just avoided it as long as possible and did everything else i could. explored every corner i had access to got almost all the treasure chests on my map and lit up all the templar towers... they were so easy what the heck. i guess it’s bc the borgia towers gave me ample training and i developed a foolproof strat for these. but i still feel like there’s fewer guards around or the captains are in really easy spots or smth. they’re just a lot easier than the borgia towers which is a bit sad. still cool tho

so i went through all that the entire time wondering when i’d get recuits lmao. getting recruits is a bit more creative this time like there’s ones that are exactly like in brotherhood where you just kill some guards but here the citizen can die (idk if that was possible in brotherhood) and some are actual very short side-quests which is really fun. also none of the towers are locked so you can just destroy all of them then save like 12 citizens and you’re set. now instead of pigeon coops we have crafting tables that basically serve the same function but you can also make bombs with htem?? somehow?? they don’t really show up on the map tho so that sucks.

also the hideout in this game is a lil bit... annoying... there’s always other assassins around who react to you walking past which i like but it’s so confusing i always get lost there and i just can’t find shit lol. don’t like the structure or the music of the place eh

speaking of bombs you can find all sorts of ingredients in treasure chests and you can craft bombs with them provided you’re introduced to the bomb somehow. there’s also a black market guy who can sell you bombs provided you find him when he shows up on the map. and yea it’s kinda cool like different bombs do different things and they’re good for distracting guards for example so you can get a treasure chest or smth. buuuuuut you can also only have 3? types of bombs at once and only four pieces of one bomb. which. makes me not want to use them and instead rely on the crossbow which works great most of the time and now i can have 25!!!! bolts

eh idk i don’t think the crafting part is really well explained at least so far. also this game’s collectible is the animus data fragments or whatever, there’s like 100 of them. i havent been vibing wiht hte modern storyline in this game and i honestly have no idea what the fragments do so i dont really feel like hunting them down... i’ll still try to get one if i happen to see it but yea.

there’s also this horrible slomo effect when you do a chain kill? or something? idk it only shows up on the last guy you kill i think and it’s so annoying pls why. like some thigns are a bit slower bc ezio is older and stuff but that just breaks the gameplay pace and i hate.

i do love ezio tho like i haven’t /seen/ much of him bc ive barely seen anything of the plot but every time he speaks he sounds so much calmer and more mature, and the things he says are so???smart??? and the game fits that vibe, it’s all so very chill, even the guards are less likely to attack you for no reason. well there’s guards on roofs with shotguns which i hate with a burning passion but i don’t actually spend a lot of time on the roofs so it’s fine.

also the templar awareness system in this game isn’t that bad. igniting a tower doesn’t actually increase it and you can just bribe a herald then turn a corner then come back and bribe him again if needed. there’s also these templar stalkers that kinda show up out of nowhere and you could hunt them down if you wanted to but if they attack you you can just hit x and they’ll die, and it decreases your awareness significantly soooooooooooo i kinda like them

there’s also a tower defense minigame that everyone seems to hate but that i havent seen at all outside of the tutorial bc it only happens if the templar try to take back a den you took over, which in turn only happens if your awareness goes way up. which im paranoid about and i never let it happen. altho ive heard they kinda stop attacking if you take over all of their dens??? i havent tested it out yet but that’d be fun lmao. 

but yea im having a pretty good time, its a lot of fun. i haven’t played as much as i wanted to this week bc ive been pretty busy irl and that’s prob how it’ll be next week too, but its fine i dont wanna rush through this game, i’d rather just take my time and enjoy the experience while it lasts. i hope there’s some cool collectible other than the animus fragments and the treasure chests so it doesn’t end up feeling too short. oh and also appearances of other characters we know and love such as leonardo and claudia and all them :’)))))))

[yakocchi]

Our Prenuptial Nightmare // Eisuke

hooray, finally the end to this dumb season LOL but i like this one a lot…… maybe it’s even the one from this season only worth reading (i havent read all of them tho)

well this one is actually kind of refreshing bc as i posted before, it’s abt the MC losing her memories. she’s not just a season 1 blank slate… she doesn’t remember anything after getting a job at the Tres Spades, so she barely remembers her own friends as well. yikesu

my rambling behind the cut

so eisuke honestly treats her the same as he always does, just obviously more distanced (im gonna read the His POV after this so idk rn). shes pretty spooked about this scary guy, maybe even more than she was in season 1 since he’s way more caring about her health or w/e despite being a CEO and all. for a pretty long time, he keeps her stuck in the hospital. he brings her a dvd that contains a media appearance of him publicly introducing her as his fiancée and she’s like “tf, is this a prank???” and all sorts of ppl visit her and stuff. shes still pretty much in disbelief about the whole thing until her parents come visit and they clearly know who this weird guy is

eventually she gets stuck in his penthouse instead. tbh she’s probably not “healthy” enough to work rn given that she doesn’t remember anything about her job, but she can’t even step one foot outside the room without soryu and his goons (appointed by eisuke) being like “HEY WAT U DOIN” so it’s kind of dull and jarring for her haha. later she finds a diary that she wrote in before her memory loss and she’s like “oh wow……. i was simpin that hard for this guy huh” (ok more like “wow, i really love this guy huh”… but i mean same thing). she also wants to make food for him and cooked up a risotto but since eisuke’s been busy af, she ends up falling asleep before he comes home (late) to eat it.

then eventually she presses forward about learning more bc she feels that eisuke is hiding a lot about himself, esp. in terms of what he does. and shes right abt that bc hes purposefully not saying anything abt the black market auctions, etc. eventually eisuke gives in and explains to her the whole 20m bid thing that started this whole romance. she tells him she wants to learn more, and so eisuke turns it into a whole date. They have a date that’s the “type of date for a first date”, and then it concludes with the inn at Kobe.

PART 2 eisuke makes it sound like hes gonna bone her but obv the guy is just teasing for the most part and it ends p cute bc he’s sweet (sweet for his standards) about it. later they go to that same petting zoo or w/e with the cute bunnies. lol eventually the same bunny that doesn’t seem to hate him shows up too. they end up bringing the rabbit home (the rabbit’s name is Maron, as in “chestnut”) to take care of. i guess maron is their animal bebe now it’s been like a month, so she returns to work eventually. hikaru notes that she’s doing pretty well for someone who doesn’t remember how any of this works. but then later, she passes out while remembering the strange discussion she overheard the day she lost her memories. eisuke goes WAH MC and then when she eventually wakes up and he’s like “it’s ok, dw abt it” while she’s like “bro i got something to tell u”. next day he tells her that he’s made her the Floor Leader of the eventual “Tres Spades Maldives”, but then she realizes during the flight that the man with her is not Eisuke, but Yuuma sent there to comfort her and also to do the Maldives business stuff. it’s obvious eisuke’s trying to separate from her. after all, it’s been a month and there’s no sign of her memories returning. he’s pretty blunt about organizing all of it without her realizing (wow what’s new). she’s really sad about it but relents and goes with it anyway. i mean eisuke is obviously pretty sad about it too since he parts with her with that genuine smile and says along the lines of “Don’t forget… that I’ve always loved your dumb face.” why i QQin BRO

well hikaru and yuuma are here in maldives so not too bad. also the penthouse bedroom is pretty good, it’s an aquarium lookin thing anyway so obv eventually the “generic gangster model” guy has to show up and kidnap her. well yuuma comes to the rescue and blahblah they want to murder her bc eisuke knew too much abt business nonsense going on again and then she dives into the sea. before she drowns, the real eisuke miraculously shows up to save her blahblah everyone else comes to save the day (2) and then they return to the Maldives suite. eisuke is like “smh i should’ve taught u how to protect urself” (…) “swear to me that u will not behave like an idiota ever again” and her memories come back after she goes “I can’t promise that (…) if you put yourself into danger, then I will continue to do the same” and has a flashback of his confessions from various seasons. HUGS lol that cg really has him going :I before a : )

everything goes back to normal, she finds a ring on her right hand and they’re wearing like… couple rings..... boi you guys are supposed to be married soon, just wait for those well fin. i skipped a buncha stuff in this “ramble” but yea my first impressions and all

[idlepebbles]

just rewatched raya for the first time in a couple months and I thought I'd give some random thoughts lol

- I will literally never watch the English dub again because I loved the bahasa Indonesia one so so so much. the voices were perfect and it filled a hole in my heart istg

- the plot feels really fragmented and I wonder if it has to do with how the work was literally fragmented with each person off in their home for the second half of production

- I was initially mad about having SEAsia blended together, however now I think that this is a good first step. having a movie come out that was just one of us probably would have caused some bitterness and I'm somewhat glad we can all just share this piece of representation until we all get up there and make our own :)

- the trust message feels a bit too nuanced/confusing for a kid's movie tbh. it felt like it always framed sisu as correct for randomly trusting ppl and raya as having trust issues when... yeah??? ofc she has trust issues? both of them had flaws in their outlook but it felt like raya was constantly criticized for it

- I didn't know that there were deleted scenes and other extras and they were so fun!! I loved seeing what aspects of the movie were from what culture :) seeing it say that pencak silat was the martial art that raya's was based on made me so happy!

- one day I want to dress up as raya bc istg that's what I look like :o I love the character design in this movie. almost cried the first time I watxhed bc omg that's me. wtf. that's my eyes and nose and hair??? I am so attached because of this??? and chief Benja looks just like my papah so it's just T-T yeah...

- raya barely did anything wrong. maybe im saying this bc I also have issues with needing to control things. in fact... probably... but still lmao imo she wasn't at fault for sisu's death bc namaari was about to pull the trigger.

- tuktuk being a pill bear is such a cute concept and I love it. he's just so cute. me and both of my sister's have plushies of him :)

- I'm still sad we didn't get fun music tbh. esp after watching encanto it feels like a lost opportunity even tho ik the tone of this movie was a lot darker. speaking of which, I love the cinematography but I kind of wish there were more bright colors?? idk, again, I don't know if it would match the vibe lol I wonder if we'll get a bright and happy movie one day. that would be fun. our cultures are so bright and beautiful and despite colonization and violence we have so much happiness to share

- not to beat a dead horse, but yea the jokes... aren't great. not a fan of them bc they rlly take me out of the immersion. why couldn't we just get funny jokes that aren't based on being #relatable. not everything needs to work for western ppl. we could have had inside jokes only we got.

- sisu's design also isn't my favorite but honestly I don't like how everyone acted about it. it really wasn't as terrible as ppl made it out to be and it's still clearly a dragon with SEAsian roots. that's not a European dragon that breathes fire

- the food makes me so happy :) I was eating longon and lychee and actually shrieked when I saw it on screen and I had Tom yum for dinner and that's so fun bc I was thinking about how much I wanted to try their soup and apparently that's what it's based on!!!

- I wish they had actually used a mix of different languages instead of making things up. like they could have had a word from each country or smthn instead of making up a random word. would have felt way more connected.

- the lack of SEAsian VAs makes me sad. partially why I love the Indonesian version so much is it alleviates some of that discomfort. I don't think the performances were bad (for the most part. I'm looking at you random really deep voiced girl from the market) but it just makes me so so sad. we had a thing for once and they just went. nah east Asians instead! like... why. it's not like we're not in the industry. ik Kelly Marie tran and awkwafina and Benedict Wong are popular but y'all rlly could've gotten a SEAsian for at least the side roles :(

- oh also the awkward way they say their names and made up words makes me so uncomfortable lmao. I think this every time I see a cartoon about a culture with another language but goddamn could you just give them an accent so the mixed in words from another language feel more cohesive? they managed to do this in encanto so goddamn have them roll some Rs sometimes lmao

- I love Boun and Tong and Toi and Benja and the ongis and it kind of makes me sad that there's only content for raya and namaari. sort of feels like yt queers just took the queer bits and decided that the rest of the cultural stuff wasn't as interesting.

- on the flip side some of the fanart is so fucking cool and I'm glad there's so much good stuff! and these characters are gay. so gay. they are just. so lesbians. the eye contact. the tension. the hand holding. the undercut and cat lady jokes (while western oriented) are yeah. theyre friends to enemies to lovers your honor. there's nothing else to be said

- the droon being an allegory for colonialism is something I just saw and that's rlly interesting. next time I watch I'll have to keep that in mind. would really change how I look at the movie I think. would add a layer of depth that could be interesting to think about.

in conclusion, I love this movie sm, it makes me cry every time, and I'm so fucking glad my little sisters have a south east Asian princess to look up to :)

edit: there have been many videos made recently about raya and in my watching of them, I noticed all of them said that the cast was almost fully east Asian including Kelly Marie Tran. a lot of issues that people have had are that she is east Asian and claiming the seasian princess but???? she is seasian?? I just checked and she's literally vietnamese?? I'm so confused why has everyone been acting like she was an east Asian coopting seasian roles?? help??

[muzzleroars]

(same anon that was abt yal's slides) i also have many sc au brainworms on a near daily basis i have read if-then like. 3 times now? its so good i love it so much. it's also really sad to me that two of the three yal & akira fics are of that au imo though theyre both. such good content. i think there's a lot of stuff ppl could do but ig they dont bc like?? idk maybe more focus on ships or they just arent used to the gods having an active and always present role and connection to the protag in persona games so they dont play around with it as much as they can?

i also have. bad end akira thoughts i want to share which is like. the idea of him trying to stop the thieves from taking down the angels that lead to taking down yal, and possibly after each one he gets more of his own memories (to a degree not completely) possibly bc yal's grip is loosening? or something?? and that helps w the thing of reinstating his will for rebellion and specifically getting him to turn on yaldabaoth??

omg thank you so much!! i loved writing that fic and i actually have another one i'm slowly working on that i hope to upload eventually ^^ and don't even get me STARTED on how much i love the fic that tayani wrote, it makes me go insane just thinking about it dkfhdg BUT YEA...there's not many fics that really take a look at the relationship between akira and yal which of course is fine! people write what they love, and unfortunately yal just isn't the most popular character. i do also think there is a definite glossing over of the bond he and akira forged in-game, but it likely is due to the fact that the game ITSELF glosses over it almost entirely 😭 it's such an absolute shame since there was so much potential left on the table, but the game's near immediate dismissal of their confidant certainly led to a lot of the fanbase writing him off as another god-villain in persona despite his unique position in relation to the protagonist. so honestly i think that's why my aus often focus so heavily on yaldabaoth's involvement and character - i gotta make my own food!! as much as i love the thieves and of course most of my aus are shuake, yaldabaoth and akira get the spotlight since they're both my favorites and bc i think i just. genuinely want to see more content involving yaldabaoth and how he interacts with others. SO it's a pretty niche market, but i'm so happy other ppl are enjoying that content too (and it's even changed some minds about yal aaaaaaa!!)

ooooh i like this too! i have thought about how it's likely the angels would attempt to persuade akira to rejoin them, but it would be interesting for him to sort of feel...an opposing pull inside of him as they get closer and closer to the shrine. like with each angel that's defeated he can feel something shift in his heart, yet as he closes in on the shrine, yaldabaoth's presence becomes increasingly oppressive - ultimately, he has no idea what he might do when the last angel falls. his heart i think at that point is vulnerable, at least by his measure - with each passing angel, he knows more and more he's feeling a freedom he's forgotten...but without knowing how to manage it properly, he knows it could easily fall under yaldabaoth's control again. that feeling could really be what makes his decision for him though, as he knows he needs to feel his freedom and totally own it if he ever wants a chance at his life again. and the only way he can do that is to see how it stands now against yaldabaoth.

[kazuichis-whore]

Gundham x male!reader

Warnings: Death

Summary: Ya trying to get a date with Gundham <3

Sunflower Seeds

This takes place after the second class trial

You have had your eye on Gundham since you've all arrived at the island. Ever since the free times you've had, you always spent them with Gundham. If not Gunham, then Kazuichi, which made Kazuichi a bit upset since all I did was talk about Gundham, and Kazuichi wasn't really fond of him. Since the killings have started to happen, you've only grown closer to him and his 'Dark Devas of Destruction'. This wasn't the best for your heart, many times you thought it would explode when you were close to Gundham.

You see, you'd love to confess to Gundham, but you weren't entirely sure if he was into guys even in the slightest. You could just walk up to him and ask "Hey are you gay? Bi maybe?", but that is too straightforward and weird. So you settled on just keeping these feelings to yourself and just being a close friend of his. That is until Chiaki caught on to me.

It was a cool morning and everyone was either waking up or already heading to the restaurant. You had barely got out of your cottage before Chiaki got in your face.

"Hey, (Y/N). Can I ask you something? In private...", you hated that term, 'in private'. It usually meant that something bad was going to happen, but you trusted that Chiaki wouldn't say or do anything weird.

"Uhm... Sure. Come in" I moved aside so Chiaki could enter. She immediately cornered me. "Do you like Gundham?" She seemed so confident in the question. I was shocked and frozen, I studdered before I even got out a comprehensive sentence. "Whawhawahaa?! How... How did you know? Am I that obvious..?" She backed off with a soft smile. "No, it took me a while to figure it out. Your really good at hiding your romantic feelings. Anyway, Akane and I want to help you and Gundham get together."

"Thanks, Chiaki, but how are you two gonna do that??" There's no way that they could set us up, right? Dumb question. "Akane already found out Gundham is bisexual, but he only likes people he's known for a while and is close to, so you definitely have a chance with him. All I need to do now is convince him to go to the beach with you." What "Wait wait wait, how did you find out he's bi?" "Akane just asked and he was fine with answering" Of course they just asked.

"We can have you and Gundham meeting up at night and Akane and I could set up some lights in the sand and a picnic" Chiaki looked up as she was thinking out loud. "But what about Monomuka? We aren't allowed to be out of the hotel resort after 10 pm." She just smiled, "I'll appeal. He enjoys teen romance so there's a good chance that he'll let us all be out after the curfew", "How do you know he likes teen rom-", "That's not important right now, meet with Gundham at the beach around 10:30 pm." She seemed so determined. I agreed and we both made our way to the restaurant together

Of course, we were a little late. Gundham was the first to notice us, I think he was staring at the door... "The rest of the mortals are here." God his voice was hot. Kazuichi looked over at us "Finally! Gundham and Akane were about to go looking for you guys!" Man, did we take that long? oh. my. god. What the FUCK is that? I was about to say something before I saw this hideous tribute to our recently deceased friend, Mahiru. I was going to say something rude about it before Hajime grabbed my attention. He was signaling for me to be nice about it and that Hiyoko made it. I spoke with an unsure voice "Wooww that looks so coolll. Whoever made that is verryyy talented.". Hiyoko seemed to be satisfied with it. Good because that's all I got in me.

I made my way over to a table so I can eat. Gundham glanced over at me and continued to eat at his own table. It was a quiet morning, everyone must have still been tired. After we had all finished and left, I went to the supermarket to get some sunflower seeds for Gundham. Yesterday he helped me with a cow attack at the barn, so I wanna try to pay him back. It was a good thing he was looking for me anyway.

I still had some free time after I came back from getting the sunflower seeds. I decided to look for Gundham since I knew he was free most of the time. When I finally found him he was talking with Chiaki and Akane at Jaberwok Park, they must be talking to him about going to the beach with me. That also means I need to find someone else to talk to, I get really bored if I'm by myself for too long. I could either look for Kazuichi and look for things he can take apart or just go annoy Fuyuhiko. I'll look for Kazu, I don't feel like hearing boss baby yell at me.

I walked to the 3rd island and was on my way to Electric Ave. since that's become Kazu's new hangout. When I got there he was already digging around looking for anything to fidget with. Kazu is a nervous guy, so I understand if he wants something to with his hands constantly.

"Hey, Kazo! What 'cha lookin for today?" I asked as I leaned over his shoulder to see what he's grabbing. "Anything really. Although it would be nice to find something to corrode the cameras that Monokuma put everywhere. Hey, have you seen some yellow wires anywhere?" He stopped whatever he was doing to look at me. "No, but I think I saw some orange ones by the old game consoles", I pointed to the pile not too far away from me. "No no no, It has to be yellow, orange won't work with my current project." He went back to rummaging. "What are you working on?" I turned my head to the side, it's a bad habit. "I'm trying to make a phone, so we can call someone or something. At least be able to play some mobile games so I'm not so bored all the time." He was still digging around.

"Ok then, see ya! I'm gonna go find Chiaki or Akane, whoever comes first." I said turning away. All I heard was a very faint 'bye' from Kazuichi, he probably wasn't listening. Oh well, at least he said bye. I walked back to the resort where our cottages are. I must have lost at least 30 pounds from all the walking between islands. As I was walking past the farm, I saw Akane. I walked up to her to ask about Gundham and if he was going to the beach. "Heyyyy Akaneeee!" I tried to strike up a conversation since I'm not very good at it. "Oh, what's up (Y/N)?" She definitely knows how to match someones energy. "Sooo what did Gundham say?" I asked, slightly bouncing from excitement. Akane just deadpans "What?". "About the beach! What did Gundham say about going to the beach with me?". "OOOHHH, he said he'll go with ya, but you have to not force him to swim with you. Something about him poisoning the water from his skin? I don't really know, I wasn't really listening". "Oh, that's fine! I won't force him!" I beamed.

"By the way, he said he wants to talk to you about something. He's at his cottage if you wanna talk to him right now." Akane seemed to not be interested in anything she's saying. She probably agreed to help Chiaki only because she was bored. "OK! Thank you, byeee!" I turned around and hightailed out of the barn.

As I was making my way towards the resort gate, I heard Sonia scream at the supermarket. I left the gates and started booking towards the market. When I finally got there, I didn't see her anywhere. I started calling out to her and poking around every crevice of the store. When I finally found her, she was just standing in the back, perfectly fine from what I could see. "Sonia oh my god! What happened? I heard you scream, are you ok?" I was panting from the running and looking. She looked at me with a pang of guilt in her eyes. "I am sorry for scaring you (Y/N), but thank you for taking the time to find me." She looked down at her shoes. "Well yea of course, but why did you scream?" I tilted my head to the side again. "I am terribly sorry (Y/N), but I have a kingdom to lead and I need to get back, I'm sure you understand. Right?" She slowly started walking towards me. I saw a screwdriver in her hand, It looks like....Kazuichi's! How did she even get his screwdriver? Oh what am I thinking, she probably just asked for it while batting her lashes and Kazuichi just gave it to her.

I started to walk backward until I was fully against the door. I quickly started to feel for a handle and scrambled out, back to the isles. As I was running towards the door, I felt a stabbing pain at the back of my head. After, my body felt numb, as if I couldn't control it. I fell. The last thing I heard was the door opening, it was Gundham. "Hello? I heard a scream so- (Y/N)!!" I really hope he finds the sunflower seeds in my pocket. At least the last thing I saw was Gundham.

Mod Jax: HAH, yall probably thought you were gonna have a nice beach date with Gundham. Foolish. You don't get to have a happy ending. Anyway, this took a while ahaha. MAYbe I'll make a version where ya survive and get yer beach date, maybe I won't, idk yet. BUUUUT there is a 90% that I make a part 2 where it's the trial for your murder.

Todays message that ya probably need to hear

You're not responsible for someone else's mental health, fuck with yourself before you fuck with someone else

[nightswithkookmin]

Memories 2019 was jikook fest. I think memories 2020(if we even get one due to covid) will be very tk focused, because they’ve been spending a lot of time together since September, growing close again after their friendship started to grow distance. Idk, I just feel like Jungkook is focusing a lot on Tae recently compared to Jimin, this isn’t me over reacting, there’s so much tk content than usual. Run 116 for example, anyone with eyes can see jikook was off. LGO comeback vlive. Grammys reaction

Uhmmm....

I get these kinds of questions a lot, and often when I do, I find I usually do not know how to go about answering it...

These concerns you raise are shipper problems lol and honestly I'm not that kind of shipper? Lmho. I'm more into alt shipping which means I place more value on the quality of Jikook's interactions, as little as those moments may be, than who BigHit decides on as their star ship for a season.

And often when I get into another ship, it's mostly because I am interested in how that ship affects the dynamics of Jikook.

I am curious to know what BigHit does with memories 2020 as well. Mostly because I believe they dumped all their Jikook 'intimate' moments on us in memories 2019 to try and neutralize the alleged brewing scandal revolving around Jikook since Rosebowl and the me too movement that hit the Kpop industry which set of this whole chain reaction with the impromptu vacation and the subsequent Jikook -involved with girls scandal' -allegedly. Bighit don't sue me please. Lol.

But ever since those moments happened, I had a feeling BigHit was moving to normalize Jikook's intimacy to throw sniffers off Jikook's metaphorical queer butts while simultaneously putting a leash around their necks in order to control and prevent any future such occurrence where Jikook's secret could be outed resulting in a potential scandal.

It is why I said I felt BigHit had been moving to mangae Jikook, presenting them as more of a brand than a ship within BTS.

I don't think they would want to go out of their way to specifically highlight Tae kook in memories 2020 simply because they are not trying to cover up any Tae Kook secrets or to normalize Tae kook's intimacy- because Tae kook isn't real. If we see more of Taekook or any other ship in memories it would be because they gave BigHit moments- memorable moments, which is what Memories is about no?

The objective of memories is to showcase moments that BigHit feels is iconic, memorable, beautiful and a reflection of the bond between BTS. That's what memories is.

And the fact they kept highlighting Jikook in Rosebowl should tell you the kinds of moments they consider iconic- JK nibbling Jimin"s ear believe it or not is super Iconic.

I keep saying BigHit bangs on the intimacy of the boys. Which means very often they are where the intimacy is. If Jikook is giving them beautiful iconic moments they can cash they will serve us Jikook. If Taekook, VMin, Sope, or Namjin does that too they will serve us them- it's business nothing personal really.

So it's not a question of whether they are showcasing Taekook over Jikook or Jikook over any other ship.

BigHit values the quality of the interactions between these boys which is why they invest so much in it and go through so much trouble to produce content like Soop or Rookie king which focuses on healing and repairing the boys' bond from time to time.

I mean have you seen Tiny Tan or BT21? Have you seen the level of animated love and connection they generate between these fictional versions of the boys? That's the level of love and closeness they want from the boys in real time for their own marketing agenda.

Jikook is often their go to because their intimacy and bond is not contrived or convoluted or riddled with high tensions and Jikook themselves are more than happy to perform and display their bond and give us iconic moments for the cameras. But where Jikook for whatever reason cannot give them those moments they would look to other pairs for it. I think I have talked extensively about BigHit and BTS ships already. Kindly check that out for a better understanding of my point of view on this topic.

And you are right about Tae and Kook spending a lot of time together this year- but how does that affect the quality of Jikook's relationship? I think I would be more interested in discussing that than worrying about a DVD slated for a near future where I might not even be alive to witness lol- chilee this Corona Virus has me moving scared lately. Pray for me, my moma and my cat. Lol

Listen, Jikook is real in spite of all of these things you mention honestly. Jungkook and Jimin are having bomb sex and doing the gay whether BigHit highlights another ship over them or not, whether come December JK wishes Jin or Tae a happy birthday, whether JK kisses another member's calf or sits on Tae's laps and bounce up and down, and whether Jimin throws himself at RM or not.

I really do not have a problem with the way they both choose to interact with the other members within the group. I just observe those interactions and allow it to inform me on their individual personalities, their state of mind, their emotional maturity levels, whether or not they are growing as individuals, whether or not they are both expressing themselves the way they want to within their dynamic etc. It's their love journey not my fantasy. I support them, I don't ship them.

And I gotta ask, what is it to you if BigHit highlights Taekook in the next DVD? Would that hurt you? Taekook are a part of BTS too and talents within the agency that BigHit have a moral and legal obligation to promote and market just as they promote and market Jikook you know?

It's their shippers isn't it? Fucking psychopaths! Lol. I feel you. I'm not a fan of shippers in general. I think you have to try and move past their annoying, braggadocious, anti Jimin, anti JK, anti Tae, toxic shopping tendencies shopping men for their biases, stealing other ships dynamics and superimposing the faces of their bias onto Jimin or JK' moments- Tae and JK deserve better supporters. Hashtag free Taekook. Lol.

I think you should try to understand Tae kook's dynamics for what it is because believe me Tae Kook give better insight into Jikook in the Vminkook's dynamics.

As for the Run episode, I think I have already put up an analysis of it in a recent post? Chilee. I am waiting for the behind the scenes of episode 117 because I think I spotted a bit of Jeonlous there when Suga and JM were wilin there for a second.

These two episodes were shot sometime during the On era when Jikook were not together together as I've been saying since the onset of my blogs. These episodes are not proof that something is wrong with Jikook now. They just show that something was wrong with Jikook then...

Whatever happened with them in the On era, they moved past it and got back together- like they always do. They always do. They are whipped on God I swear! Lmho. I want to talk about them in this era- yea yea I know I already put up a blog on that but it focused on their MV and roles in the music video and I want to talk about their relationship dynamics 😥

Somebody ask me about that!😭

And it's funny you say with episode 116, 'everyone with eyes could see there was something off between them...' my question is why didn't y'all see that in February when it happened??

You don't need loud moments like these to finally notice when the ship you support is having issues honestly. Chileee. You is 10 months late I think. They moved on, we moved on. This is a new Jikook era baby and Jikook are back with their shenanigans. Lol

This dismissiveness, bigotry, skepticism, treating a ship as a fantasy and not as individuals and the human that they are is how Taekookers and every ship in BTS think their ship is real lol. They will ignore and dismiss all the questionable moments that happen between Tae and Kook and run with the few seconds of skinship they see Taekook do- it doesn't work like that you know? But I guess these are shipper problems and I can't relate.

Oh and when you say there is so much Taekook content than usual..... I want to talk more about this too👀

I want to talk about VMinkook's dynamics next- in a separate blog perhaps? But y'all keep asking me about Minimoni and Yoonmin😒

Should I?

Signed,

GOLDY

[misterbitches]

hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak​ 

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough. 

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR 

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls. 

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated. 

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences.  especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks. 

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well. 

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;) 

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

[love4hobi]

Okay this is gonna be long but I wanted to respond and put my 2 cents in about ur asks u got yesterday and discussion over bts recent music....okay so I read somehwere (I forget) that PTD was like their end to the trilogy thing of songs they were doing in that type of genre / English thing...Idk if that’s 100% true but it can give hope. Imo I actually liked butter and stuff PTD was just straight up bad but I liked butter and dynamite...is it their best work clearly not close but it wasn’t bad like PTD😭😭 also as I’ve been a fan for so fucking long (2015) I can say that for 2020-2021 bts KEEPS their success bc they’re such great perofmorers and bring it everytime despite the current music they’re releasing...(my opinion...) like I rememebr watching festa room live and being like holy shit they’re so good what the fuck and then realizing they were performing like all old b sides besides 2 songs😭😭 idk. To me they still perform and put on top level stages and that’s what keeps me interested and a fan to this day...also idk if you liked MOTS and persona but I liked both ...and BE was an okay album to me (not their best but come on KDKDKDKDKDKDD) also I think we as fans need to expect that every artist has their peak. Like there’s so many western rock /alt bands that I’m in love with their albums and then they release shit I don’t like after being together for like a decade and I just have to accept they reached their peak musically but am able to look back at their work they have done and still love them for what they did and released. Idk. I think bts can still bring it back musically as the time period of 2020-2021 isn’t that long in my opinion. Yes it’s been their worst year musically but it’s been like a year since dynamite so it hasn’t been THAT long. I think it feels like a long ass time tho so I get it....I’m giving them a lot of room and you obviously can disagree I’m just stating my opinion lol!! Cuz I do agree that PTD sucked and hybe is stupid...I mean take a look at what p dogg said a month ago when he said that it’s sad that bts songs are getting so incredibly short and the rap line can’t show their skills anymore to cater to the market and to check out their other music...(literally say that shit like word for word basically in a YouTube video....) like does this man (their long time producer) expressing these worries seirously have 0 say??? Like it really seemed like he is bummed about their recent shit too and bts are rich so you’d think they’d put their foot down and say no to anything...but I agree with you about how they’ve been grinding nonstop for 8 years and maybe they’re just fucking tired. Like it’s understandable. Anyway, I agree that this years music has been lacking (and honestly I lowkey feel that way about all kpop AT the moment)....like txt is the only group imo that is releasing good music right now...not to drag anyone else but twice disappointed me this year and nct and skz too 😭😭 but you know!! It is what it is!!! Back to bts tho, I personally still love them bc of their body of work that they have done and their stage performances and probably will feel that way for a long time. Idk, I’ve experience this with so many bands so it doesn’t shock me that much. Like for ex the band arctic monkeys had a perfect discography for me then they released an ass album and it sucked and I just accepted that maybe they just reached their peak 😭😭 idk...this was super long but oof

oh hmm i havent heard that about the trilogy but that certainly would be nice,, but then the coldplay collab is pretty much basically confirmed at this point and thatll probably be mostly if not all in english 🙄 and omg yes ur so right performing is definitely one of their biggest strong suits especially on tours whenever i go back and rewatch old concerts its just like theres no one else like them like theres lots of great performers in kpop but theres just something special about them altogether as a group!! and the thought and effort they put into end of the year stages always blows me away, but yea also smaller things like the festa room live are so nice,, they just work so well together on every level. but i do see what ur saying about them peaking cus yea i loved black swan and on and i could see how that would feel hard to top, but idk yea like i said in another ask they might just be tired and i think if they dont put out anything that great in the next year or two i feel like they might be able to get back together sometime after enlistement once theyve hopefully been a little ✨rejuvenated✨ and had time to rest n just live their lives for a bit (and bighit has hopefully moved on to txt and the new gg a bit more) and finally be able to to do something thats more them and just fits what they actually want to be doing at that point in their careers. but omg yea exactly what u said abt pdogg it kinda rly sucked to hear him say exactly what i was thinking in that vid and for His opinion to still not even have an effect on anything :( but also yea like you said and ive said in some other asks the pandemic has affected the music quality of a lot of groups/artists and theres always hope that things will get back to normal afterwards or maybe they really have peaked unfortunately theres no way to know we just have to wait n see ig :/

[zankivich]

The Arrangement: CEO’s Son/Dom!Shawn x Black Sub Reader Chapter 8

a/n: I hope you didn’t think I’d make it quite so easy. A little pull and tug is worth it sometimes ya know? idk how much longer I’ll be around. Most people don’t engage with the fics anymore and Shawn isn’t really the Shawn I fell in love with anymore. Life just kind of sucks at the moment. But I’ve got this chapter already written so I thought I’d post it. If you liked it and actually want it to continue? I might recommend letting me know tbh. Bye. 

Shawn’s point of view

The problem with taking a woman to Rome on the first date is that anything after that just seems silly. What exactly was he to do now? Invite her over to his apartment for sushi? Even he would walk out on that date! It didn’t help that the second they got back to New York, after a very long winded kiss goodbye, that she’d jumped right into preparation for the VMAs. That essentially meant he wasn’t going to see her for days, maybe weeks. VMA season sparked award season in general for the music industry. It might not exactly give an indication of Grammys, but with the award show always arriving right as the ellibility period for the more prestigious honor was ending, it meant that the VMAS was the beginning of the long haul to get your artist at the top of the charts and fucking keep them there. Which also meant that just like she was busy, so was he. The difference was she actually liked her job. And he had...oh how he hated his.

He’s sitting in a marketing meeting for Sarah Leone. Sarah Leone is his dad’s bid for best new artist of the year. Forget the fact that y/n had her secret weapon of Normani and Khalid on one management team, and that he sort of had a feeling she was going to do a solo album release directly before the grammy consideration deadline just to keep the industry on its toes, his dad was thoroughly convinced Sarah was his ticket. And in a lot of ways she was. Small town girl turned mega popstar in a little over a year, her debut album was set to make beautiful numbers. Unfortunately that wasn’t enough. His dad had a very direct line of vision and that vision was complete and total domination. So it wasn’t enough to have your music sell, he wanted his artists to be inescapable from the public eye. Enter this season’s publicity stunt: The MC.

His dad thought it was a clever way to reference Miley Cyrus. Back in the day he’d orchestrated Miley’s dating of a 20 year old when she was 16 to address her rebellious teen phase. What most people saw as a kid going off the rails, was actually a perfectly manipulated moment in pop history. Except the dick cake that lost her the walmart branding deal, that was all her unfortunately.

Sarah was supposed to be seen out and about with mysterious new “it” british singer, Ty Summers. He was 21. She turned 18 just months prior. The two had begun with a close knit friendship, and were now being guided through the early stage of good, whole-hearted, perfectly constructed, “love”. He peers down at one of the new stills for her headline of V magazine, and simply can’t believe she’s 18. The cover makes him uncomfortable, makes him feel icky. No one at the table notices. And his dad isn’t even there, because this is too low level for the kind of work he does anymore.

“Next, I want her in London for the UK press tour. We’ll have her position at Summers’ hotel for half of her stay. I want pap shots at dinner every night out of the week, and I want a prompt at the BBC interview to hint at their connection. We’ll take it from there.” Jaret, one of the senior managers rattled off. “Any questions?”

He twirled boredly in his chair far from interested in the inner workings of career management if none of it meant jack shit about what the artist actually wanted for their career. It felt like such a waste of his time.

“Quick question?” He sighed popping his pen slightly into the air.

“Yes, Mendes?”

“When does she sing?” He shrugged.

The room goes still. It’s a well known fact that Jaret runs the room. He runs the meetings, runs the decisions. He’s top dog on this particular client, and Shawn is merely there under his father’s orders as an informant and nothing more. He was there to make sure things ran smoothly, but he certainly wasn’t there to offer critique. Woops.

“And what exactly does that mean?” Jaret challenged.

Shawn simply shrugged. “Just seems like if we have a musical artist who we signed on the basis of her being able to sing, that we might at some point want that to be the focal point of her career. But you know, I could be wrong.”

“There’s just one thing wrong here Shawn...we did not sign anyone. I did. We don’t make decisions on the intricacies of her career. I do. You are simply a glorified intern. Nothing more, nothing less. And if you’re father wasn’t afraid you’d run off every two seconds I wouldn’t have to babysit your ass right now. So, why don’t you let the professionals determine next steps and play on the computer daddy bought you, or whatever it is you do?”

Ouch.

The room shifted from Jaret back to Shawn. No one went against Jaret. And yet Shawn was perhaps the most unpredictable thing about his father’s company at that point. Needless to say unpredictably was a hell of a thing.

“It must really upset you that I get paid more than you do doesn’t it?” He hummed.

Jaret’s face began to redden, his nerves tighter than his balls that Shawn had such a precarious grip on at the moment.

“Or does it upset you more that I could do your job better than you right now, today, without even the ability to hear the tonedeaf artists you sign that are just pretty enough and just old enough not to get your ass arrested?” He tilted his head in contemplation. “Perhaps it’s even that one time at the company Christmas party where your wife caught you screwing your secretary in your office and stopped crying long enough for me to make her cum before signing the divorce papers? But you’re right Jaret, I simply should just get back to daddy’s computer. My bad.”

“You little son of--”

“Big.” Shawn interrupted sliding smoothly from his chair and packing his shit up from the horrible meeting he’d had no interest in attending in the first place. “I’m big son of a bitch, Jaret. Just ask Sarah.”

Sarah of course being his wife. Ex wife of course. Ex wife number three if we’re being specific.

The door shuts close behind him to Jaret screaming and lurching across the table towards his empty chair. He’d probably hear about it from his dad later. But honestly who cared. Jaret was a creepy asshole, and he was always gonna be a creepy asshole. Sorry not sorry.

***

He’d be a little embarrassed at how aggressively he yanked at the door were it not for the hopeful look in her big brown eyes when he sees her for the first time. He can tell she’s had a long day because her hair is down out of its bun already, tiny spirals falling all around her face and cheeks. But, the way she falls into his arms is enough to make his whole entire day. Because it means that after all the shit she’d been through that day, she wanted to be with him. And that’s the only thing he cared about in the whole world.

“I missed you.” He sighed already capturing her lips in a kiss.

She hummed softly against him, fingers squeezing at his shoulders.

“Missed you too.”

He pushed the door shut with his foot, arms keeping her tucked tightly against him. He’s sure he’s smiling like a complete and total idiot but he can’t help it. It’s this new exciting thing where he no longer has to be afraid of how close he is to her, no longer has to hope he doesn’t stare too long. She knows. And not only does she know, but somehow she feels the same way. It felt like a dream.

He tugged her back towards his kitchen and helped her into a seat before he pulled out the leftovers from his own dinner where he “accidently” ordered for two.

“Tiana said you didn’t eat dinner.” He shrugged at her questioning gaze. “And this little italian place up the block always gives me more than I need.”

She bit her lip and peered from the container of chicken parm to him and back to the parm. He thought for a second she just might fight him on it. And then he remembered how much she liked to eat.

“You and Tiana conspiring against me must stop!” She snorted grabbing the fork clean from his hand to dig in.

He leaned against the granite counter with his chin propped on his hand. She was wonderful. And silly. And a little ridiculous. He kind of loved it.

“Yes, because making sure you consume more than coffee in a twelve hour period is definitely a conspiracy.”

She rolled her eyes. “Maybe so.”

“Maybe so.” He mimicked. “I missed the way you argue with me about everything. Feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

Her eyes got wide and bright and she turned a grin towards him that he practically ached to lick off. She was gorgeous.

“You missed me huh? The Shawn Mendes has fallen head first into a little monogamy moment has he?”

Sometimes he liked to think that her favorite past time was taking the piss out of him. It sure seemed that way.

He rolled his eyes back at her and butted his head softly into her neck.

“And what if I have?” He whispered softly. “You have too. Right?”

His nose skimmed along her neck and she shivered. He smiled against her skin. She’d fallen just as hard alright.

“Yea I guess so.” She mumbled.

He pulled back and pressed a kiss to her cheek before grabbing her glass to refill with water.

“You should eat up. You’re gonna need your strength.”

“Excuse me?”

He refilled her glass from the refrigerator and placed in front of her before leaning against the countertop again.

“Oh. I just meant that I plan to fuck you until the birds sing. I don’t want you getting tired on me before I’m done with you.”

His favorite past time was saying the wildest things he could come up with to her in the simplest voice possible and then watching the way it made her eyes bulge in her sockets. God he loved it.

This time she simply stuffed a breadstick in her mouth and hopped out of her seat to start taking her jacket off. It seemed she might be just as needy as he was.

“Yep! Okay. You can come get it now!”

“I’m comin’, baby.” He grinned lifting her up into his arms.

“Goddammit. Carbs and dick. It’s like my birthday or something!”

His bedroom is way too far away. They’ve gotta figure out a way to get there quicker. But he chuckles into her cleavage as he knocks them against walls to stop and kiss her. Her thighs mold to his waist, ass full in his hands. He’s stuck on her completely. And the worst part is that she knows it.

He lets her legs back down to the floor only to press her against the wall of his bedroom, lips, teeth, and tongue beginning a trail along her neck.

“You make me never wanna go back to go work ever again.” She whined, fingers tangling in his hair.

“I’d happily quit if we could stay in bed for the rest of forever.” He murmured.

“Don’t tempt me!”

Maybe he would.

“Mmmm speaking of work, how hard you gonna make my job for me this fall?” He hummed biting down on her lip to solicit a yelp that drove him crazy.

“What do you mean?” She asked, fingers already tugging at his belt.

“I’m supposed to believe Normani’s not releasing an album before awards season?”

Her fingers came to a stuttering stop, and he recognized that her kisses weren’t really kisses anymore. His eyes opened to meet hers and instead of the lust from just moments prior, there was...anger?

“What the fuck, Shawn?”

“W--What? What?” He mumbled reaching for her as she quickly stepped out of his arms.

“Why would you ask me that? Since when the hell do you care when my artists release music?”

He’s a little flustered and his dick is hard and her yelling at him when his dick is hard is only just adding to the complex array of emotions that his brain would surely need more blood to process.

“I--I don’t know! I thought that’s what couples did right? Like they--they ask each other about work and shit. What did I do?”

“Couples?” She paused, all of the steam leaving her like a deflated balloon. “Are we--we’re a couple?”

At this point he’s pretty sure she’s gonna give him a heart attack.

“I….Aren’t we?”

“I--I don’t know. I don’t know, we’ve only been on one fucking date, Shawn. And just because it was wonderful and beautiful and romantic doesn’t mean that you get to ask me questions like that. I just… Shit. I need space.”

“Space?”

His heart leapt a little in his chest. He’d said that word before. “Space”. When people said they needed space it always meant permanent. It meant separation. It meant losing her. And the effect that her words have on him is a little surprising, even though he’s not processing nearly fast enough to catch on. All he can hear, feel, think, breathe is her not wanting him. And in this moment of fragility for him he’s not quite sure how to cope.

“Wait. Just wait a second. I don’t even know what’s happening right now!” He cried his hands held up in surrender. “Let’s just talk. Let’s just talk for a second okay? Tell me what I did wrong and I’ll fix it.”

“No. I don’t want to talk to you right now. I’m going home. I--I’lll call you later.”

She sweeps right past him, her fingers re-buttoning the same buttons she had giggled when he’d undone just seconds ago. He’s so floored by what’s taking place and he’s got no idea how to fix it. How to make her happy. He just wants to make her happy. And he doesn’t want her to go.

“Y/n. Y/n, please? Alright, just talk to me.”

Her fingers slip through his when he reaches for her and just like that she’s gone. And it hurts. It hurts far more than he knows what to do with. What the fuck?

***

*Three days later*

*y/n’s point of view*

A foul mood did not begin to describe what you were in. Everyone had been steering completely clear of you and rightfully so. Anyone who dare breathe wrong in your direction would get an earful. It wasn’t your fault. You hadn’t exactly been sleeping well. Your stomach was in knots. You were stressed as hell. But, none of that was allowed to matter. You had work to do. So, everything else got placed on the backburner.

You’re in your office taking a twenty minute “get your shit together bitch” break when a knock sounds itself on your door. Tiana had been the only one with balls to knock on the door in days, so you had no doubt who it could be.

“Come in, Ti.” You sighed still leaning pathetically across your desk.

The door slides open and unless Tiana grew several feet and turned into a white man over night, it was certainly not your assistant standing there.

“Hi.” Shawn mumbled waving awkwardly in your direction.

He was in a suit again. But not one of the ones from the red carpet that would make your thighs tremble. This must be one of his work ones. It looks too restrictive on his body. He’s wearing a tie, and your fingers itch to remove it, to dishevel him back into the man that you knew.  The worst part is that even in discomfort he doesn’t look real. He looks like an ad standing there at your doorway. An absolute vision to behold. You had to remind yourself that you were angry at him.

“How did you--What are you doing here? Shawn?”

He quickly closed the door and strode over to you, at least having the good grace to keep his distance to the chair in front of your desk.

“You didn’t answer any of my calls. Which is fine I guess. I get that maybe you need space but...I really hate what’s going on between us right now.” He mumbled.

His knee is bouncing. You only recognize this because it shakes your desk in a gentle hum. His fingers twist and turn anxiously on your desk as if he’s fighting the urge to reach out and touch your hand. His lips are stress bitten and his hair looks like it’s been the victim of an attack as well.

“Really?” You asked, leaning back slighting your chair in confusion.

He raised an eyebrow. “Yes, really. What did you think I was just out living my best life since you stormed out of my apartment at one am without a word and ignored me for three days?”

“No, I just...I just didn’t realize it would have this great of an effect on you. I guess I--I didn’t know you cared that much.”

“You didn’t know that I care that much? What the hell, y/n?” He groaned. “Why are you doing this right now?”

“Doing what?! What am I doing?”

“You’re pulling away. We sat there in Rome and you asked me to promise you that I was all in. And I am. And now you’re scared, is that it? You don’t know what it might look like for us to be together in the real world, so you’re pulling away from me.”

Well that was certainly a read. You were flustered. Your lips opened and shut around nothing but air as you sat there at a loss for words. It wasn’t conscious, or maybe on some level it was, but Shawn scared the hell out of you. Rome was a beautiful, beautiful bubble, but a bubble nonetheless. The second you got back to New York you couldn’t help but wonder if it would actually work a tall. You were still so different. And much as you liked him, and shit you really fucking liked him, it was terrifying to place yourself into new charted territory. You were scared of him. Of the two of you together. Of what it could mean. And he never even needed you to say it, he just knew it about you instantly.

“Look,” He sighed. “I still don’t really know what I did wrong. I know I probably sound like I’m being a little bitch right now but...shit y/n I just got you and I feel like I’m losing you already. Like you’re not even gonna give me a chance to try to make you happy. Is that how it’s gonna be? Cause if it is just tell me okay? Tell me what you want.”

“I don’t...I don’t know. Okay? I don’t know.” You mumbled

The look that he gives you tells you that this hurts him. That you not being a hundred percent in is painful. Everything was just moving so incredibly fast. One second you couldn’t fathom the idea that Shawn would even want to do more than fuck you, let alone be leading the charge your relationship. It was fast. All of it. And you? You were scared.

“Okay. Well I guess just call me when you figure it out.”

He got out of his seat and headed for the door only throwing you further off your game. You didn’t know much about what you wanted. You just knew that you didn’t want him mad at you, and you didn’t want him to leave. It didn’t help that a part of you felt like you should be leading this matter. You were older, you were the woman. Never had anyone cornered you in the manner that Shawn was in this moment. It was completely different than anything you’d ever experienced.

“Wait--shit. Shawn don’t leave.”

He shook his head. “It’s fine. You’re not ready, and I was. Just…Call when you figure things out. Maybe I’ll talk to you later.”

And just like that he’s gone. Fuck.

***

It’s another long night. You’re tired. You’re heart is heavy. Your ponytail is too tight. And you wanna go to bed. But you have no interest in sleeping alone, and therefore are stuck at your desk again. There’s three different contracts waiting your signature on your desk, but the words have begun to blur. You tell yourself it’s not because you’re crying because you definitely aren’t. It’s just cause you’re tired. Yes.

“Hey, it’s late I’m gonna---oh lord. I haven’t seen you cry since Michelle Obama smiled at you on a red carpet.” Tianna gasped.

You sniffled. “Bitch I am not crying. Go home.”

She rolled her eyes. “Denial or delusion. Your favorite pastimes. Come tell Titi what’s wrong while I’m still awake.”

She plopped herself in the chair opposite your desk and reached for the tissues on your desk to hand to you. You take one begrudgingly.

“You haven’t let me call you Titi since college.”

“Of course I haven’t, “She giggled. “What kind of grown ass woman walks around goin’ by Titi. Now stop deflecting.”

Best friends are no good. They know you too well. It makes it way too hard to hide.

“I….I think I fucked things up.”

“With Shawn you mean?”

You nod slowly.

“Yea, I saw him come out of your office lookin’ like a kicked puppy. I couldn't even get him to laugh for me before he left. You never really said what happened though.” She nudged gently.

A sigh passes through your lips that feels bone deep. Your fingers twitch anxiously against the desk. There’s nowhere to hide here. You just have to be truthful. It’s the worst.

“We...We decided to give it a go. And he took me to Rome, as your meddling ass knows, and it was the most amazing thing I could experience. It was everything I ever thought it would be but...he made it more. And I kept thinking that he was going to stop at some point. I don’t know I thought surely it was gonna work, because how could it you know?”  

“No, not quite sis. I don’t know. Maybe you can explain it to me.”

You bite your lip and twitch anxiously.

“I asked him in Rome one of our last nights there if he was gonna be all in. We talked about race and white supremacy and I told him that I needed someone who could stand with me in all of it, not just when it is convenient.”

“And he said…?”

“Well the fucker said yes.” You huffed. “He promised it even.”

“Shit.” Tiana mumbled taking a pause herself. “I would’ve never called Shawn Mendes to be a social justice warrior.”

You rolled your eyes. “He’s far from it, now. He’s still a white boy. But he wanted to try. He was willing to try for me.”

“So you can see how maybe I’m missing the part where you fucked up. This sounds a little like a black girl’s love story come true.”

“I went over to his place and he offered me breadsticks and dick, in that order. But then when we were getting to it, he asked me about Normani, Ti. He asked if I was going to ‘make his job harder for him’ by having her release her album before award season.”

“Oh lord, that poor bastard didn’t even know what hit him.” She sighed.

“I’m serious Ti!” You groaned. “I’ve been here before. I’ve had the music exec who wanted to get into my pants just to know what we were doing in this building. I--I can’t go back there. You and I both know that there’s nothing Manny Mendes would love to see more than one his little white girls on top and my people failing on the bottom of the totem pole. We work too goddamn hard for me to lose it.”

Tiana paused for a minute and stared at you. Her eyes were soul searching, the way they tended to be. She was as lovely and amazing as she was terrifying. She knew you better than you knew yourself, and she never hesitated to call you on your bullshit. Even if you didn’t know it was bullshit. Especially when you didn’t know it was bullshit.

“Girl, I love you more than anyone I’ve ever met in my life, but you are truly exhausting.” She sighed and held her hand up as a means to silence you before you even spoke. “Now if you’re not ready for someone to potentially love and take care of you that’s one thing. But if you are intentionally sabotaging yourself because you’re scared you gotta knock it the fuck off.”

“But Ti--”

“No, ma’am. If that boy wanted to know when Normani’s album was dropping he did not need to take your ass to Rome to do it. You have been scorned by this industry more than most will ever recognize, and I know that, and I validate that. But you ain’t in a relationship with Manny Mendes. You’re not in a relationship with the industry. It’s Shawn. And that man hates his dad and his dad’s company more than you do. I love you, but you’re being a bit ridiculous.”

“...Fuck.”

“Fuck, indeed.” She hummed. “You keep doing this. You keep letting outside factors affect everything, and that’s not sustainable. You have to trust him. He has to trust you. That’s the only way it works.”

You peered at her with tired eyes. The kind of eyes that a woman who’d been scorned one time too many might have.

“But what if he hurts me?”

“Than we pick up the pieces. We work at it until your healed. But you don’t get the love without faith. You’ve got to put yourself out there, babe.”

And that is of course how you end up at his place at midnight on Friday nonetheless. Ti had practically ushered you off, offering to close up shop for the night if it meant you would finally leave the office. You’re still in your work jumpsuit with the too tight ponytail and the makeup that you couldn’t wait to take off.  The code lets you easily without having to let him know that you’re there. Perhaps that’s why you finally get to hear him this time.

The doors of his fancy apparently  are surely made of thicker wood, so he must be sitting right inside the living room. Regardless you hear it in this soft, muted kind of way. It’s an acoustic guitar, the plucking of his fingers just as rounded and full. It’s beautiful and rhythmic and it makes you pause, your fingers still resting on the door knob because then the mother fucker starts to sing.

Maybe I had too many drinks, but that's just what I needed

I hope that you don't think that what I'm saying sounds conceited

When I look across the room and you're staring right back at me

Like somebody told a joke and we're the only ones laughin'

You’re fingers grip tight at the door knob, you’re mind both seemingly filled with a million thoughts and yet too overwhelmed to process any of it. His door is unlocked though and when you stumble inside the vision in your head comes to life. He’s sat on his floor by the fireplace with a guitar you’ve never seen upon his lap. He’s wearing a white tanktop and black sweats. The rosary against his neck nestles against what looks like perfectly tamed chest hair. He is as unreal as ever. And yet somehow, somehow that is not the most astonishing part of everything around you in this moment.

He pops his head up towards you. His fingers don’t still on the guitar at all as he seems to pluck out the melody he’d sung just moments prior.

“Took you long enough. Almost like you were outside eavesdropping or something.” He hummed.

“I...How did you even know I was outside?” You stuttered.

“I get an alert every time someone enters my code. I don’t just wait around for you all the time ya know.”

Rude.

“You...You sing.”

He peered at you, fingers still moving, his head tilted just slightly to the side as if you were as confusing to him as he was to you.

“I sing.” He affirmed. “Is that okay?”

“How come--I mean you never said anything.” You frowned. “That--That song. You wrote that?”

He nodded slowly. “I’ve been given a bit of inspiration lately. Is that what you came here for? To bust me in my hobby?”

This changes things. And surely it wouldn’t have mattered because Ti’ had already convinced you to suck it the fuck up and come over, but the fact that he’s got music in him and never said anything matters. Because there’s a lot he could have asked for. A lot he could have tried to get from you, and he hadn’t. It really didn’t matter to him at all. You were just a fucking asshole.

It occurred to you that you were still standing in the middle of his doorway, so you closed the door and moved slowly near him. He set his guitar off to the side as you plopped one of his decorative pillows in the spot beside him and sat down. Without his guitar, Shawn was a lot more fidgety. He took to playing with his rings on his fingers again, eyes soft and vulnerable pointed in your direction.

“So...Is this it? You come here to end it?” He asked.

You took a deep breath. “No. I came here to apologize.”

His eyes flickered up to your face, a hint of hesitance to them.

“I’ve never heard you apologize in my life.”

You rolled your eyes and punched playfully at his arm, the chiseled muscle probably hurting you more than it hurt him. He wasn’t wrong.

“The truth is...When you asked me about Normani’s release I didn’t think of it as you wanting to know about my day. I didn’t think about it as you wanting to be kind to me at all. I sort of, maybe thought you were snooping trying to figure out a way that you could hurt me.” You admitted softly. “Because--well because that’s what I’ve experienced in the past. And that’s not an excuse but it just is...it’s what I was feeling.”

He squinted his nose up and it would’ve been cute had you not been so flustered.

“Wait, you thought I was gonna hurt you? How?” He asked turning more in your direction.

You winced. “Like...by maybe taking it to your dad. Knowing whether or not Normani’s gonna release would be really beneficial to him.”

There’s a range of emotions that cover his face. First confusion. Then acceptance. And then anger.

“Why would I ever do that to you? What have I ever said or done to make you think that I would choose allegiance to my dad of all people over you. I hate my job, y/n. I hate that company. You know that better than just about anyone.”

“I know! I know that. I just--fuck. You scare me okay!” You whined. “I haven’t been in a healthy relationship in years. I’ve been fucked over in my job, in my relationships, in life constantly. And I didn’t exactly walking into our arrangement expecting to find a relationship. I don’t know how to do this, Shawn. I don’t--I’m not sure I truly deserve it.”

You glanced down at the floor in worry and fear. You wanted it. God, you really wanted it. But, shit if you weren’t terrified to try.

When he crawls into your lap, you’re a little taken aback. For how tall that fucker is, he certainly could use an extra meal or two. But, there’s something about the reversal of his thighs bracketing your hips the way that yours would usually do to his. There’s something about the way his thumb soothes at your pulse point as his fingers rest on either side of your neck. There’s something about the way that he looks at you with tenderness and kindness. It’s a little unlike anything you’d ever quite felt before. And it makes you soften beneath him with ease, all the fire running out of you at once.

“You are...the most hard headed woman I’ve ever met.” He mumbled softly.

You smiled sheepishly. “That’s what my momma’s been telling me since I was born.”

“Well she’s right. But I’m kind of crazy about you. And I don’t like fighting with you. And I don’t like being mad at you, or you being mad at me. I just want to make you happy. This is the first time in my life where I feel like I can make some good out of anything. You feel...right. I like you, and I want to take care of you, and I’d like to have something where we can both give each other that. I’m just as scared as you are, okay? I don’t fucking know what I’m doing either. But I wanna try. Do you?”

Was it really that simple? Could it be that simple?

“I do. I really do.” You whispered.

“Good. That’s all I needed to hear. C’mere.”

For him, it could be.

His fingers knot in your ponytail and he tugs your lips to his with zero hesitation. After a shitty week of back and forth it feels good to not have to think for a while, to let his lips work over yours. He’s dominant even here with his tongue and his hands and his hips. He could’ve made it soft and gentle, but that’s not really what the two of you were about. Or was it?

“I’ve got leftovers in my fridge.” He murmured running his thumb along your bottom lip. “Did you eat dinner?”

You shake your head softly and he quickly climbs off your lap to tug you towards the kitchen. It doesn’t go unnoticed to you that his guitar stays behind in the living room.

“Are we ever gonna talk about the singing thing?”

“Maybe let’s do one heavy thing at a time, aye? I’ll tell you sometime. I promise. For now, do you want egg drop soup or pasta?”

You climbed into your seat at his kitchen counter and quickly tugged at your jacket and ponytail holder.

“Pasta. And one of these days I’m gonna teach your pasty ass how to cook.”

“Sure thing, babe.” He snorted. “I look forward to it.”

***

Permanent taglist

@simpledomain @liliane106 @sinplisticshawn  @xeuphorically-moonstruck@euphoric05 @daijanicole @bruhh-whateven @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @decewill @goldiean  @bruhh-whateven@justbeingoceana @loveylangdon @iloveshawnieboi@september-lace @valedictorian65 @disaster-rose@justbeingoceana @loveylangdon @bitchacho25 @sinplisticshawn@thecurlsofgod @lifeoftheparty74 @kamahriii 

Arrangement Taglist:

@moonlightmendes22 @iloveshawnieboi@shawnsblue @cottoncandyshawn

@claredolphinbear24 @peterbrokenparker @shawnase@blackharry @shawnwyr @speakingofmari @moniehp@ydolansss  

[yanak324]

personal ask tags

tagged by someone who tells me I’m pretty on the regular @fineosaur 🥺🤏🏼

do you make your bed? yea every morning. It’s been instilled from me since childhood that you. must. make. your. bed.

what’s your favourite number? I don’t have a favorite number, but I do like the number 11 for some reason. It’s just a little different from the rest of the teen numbers, and it has a different name (not like one-teen), and it’s an odd number…so IDK, it just speaks got me.

what’s your job? I do communications and training for Marketers in a tech firm. It’s not exactly the most riveting stuff but it allows me a smidgen of creativity during work hours, which then spills over into writing and I am grateful for it.

can you parallel park? hahaha…yes, it’s actually my greatest strength behind the wheel. I should preface this by saying that I used to drive all the time, but living where I do, i haven’t been behind the wheel regularly in a decade…and have started to dislike it.

a job you’ve had which would surprise people? For a hot second, I was a social worker in a geriatric facility…it was wild to say the least.

do you think aliens are real? yup…i think it’s far too arrogant for the human race to assume we’re the only ones in the vast universe…they’re coming for us. Don’t ya’ll worry.

can you drive a manual? omg no. and it’s probably for the best that i don’t try.

what’s your guilty pleasure? I’m kind of with Raniyah here…nothing that brings me pleasure should be considered guilty. That being said, I love blasting music as loud as I can when no one is home…like to the point that our next door neighbors have issued complaints…but yolo :)

tattoos? oof…this is like my second favorite topic (besides food) to discuss.

I’ve always loved tattoos, have been obsessed with them since I was a kid and first listening to heavy metal. I didn’t get my first one until I was 24 and it’s my grandparents’ initials in Russian on my right shoulder.

I thought that was it, but ofc, it’s true what they say, once you get one, it’s hard to stop…so a year or so later, I got a feather quill on my back (this one taught me not to believe tattoo artists when they tell you it’ll only take ‘an hour or so’…this bitch kept me under the needle for 3 and a half hours…)

The other two tats I have are smaller. One is a Aries constellation tattoo on my right wrist, and the other is inspired by Robert Frost’s Nothing Gold Can Stay poem and it’s a phrase on my left arm.

I usually try to wait a year or so between tat jobs, but I told myself that once this quarantine is over, the first thing I’m doing is getting my next tattoo, which will be of black & white tulips with the phrase “skirting around oblivion” weaved into it…I’m super excited for it and am hoping this can happen this year.

favourite colour? red…always and forever.

things people do that drive you crazy? people who are too uptight and stick too closely to the rules absolutely drive me nuts. I have noticed an uptick in this during the quarantine and some people are so riddled with anxiety about not doing things properly that it almost feels like they’re inviting the virus into their lives…i am such a believer of what you put out into the universe, you get back tenfold, so this very anxious, paranoid approach to this really bugs me.

any phobias? sharks :/

favourite childhood sport? I’m not a very sporty person sadly, but I was a CHAMP at kickball.

do you talk to yourself? yes, and do it so loudly sometimes people think i’m talking to them but I’m not… :P

what movies do you adore? I’m a sucker for a romantic drama (obviously) but also thrillers. The other day I was thinking how much I love The Lincoln Lawyer, and it’s because it’s a mix of a courtroom drama and a thriller, with a surprise ending. Love it.

do you like puzzles? No, do not get me started on puzzles. I find them to be a torture device. I am not inclined towards detail or patience and watching people do puzzles just gives me a cold sweat and anxiety. I’ll only participate if I can do the edges and can have a bottle of wine at the ready to mitigate my frustrations.

favourite kind of music? hahahahaha a LOT of kinds. mostly alternative, rock, indie, folk.(I left Raniyah’s answer here because its…just true). Plus disco.

tea or coffee? both! coffee is a morning bev for me and one I’ll indulge in outside too…like I’ll get a latte or a flat white from a coffee shop. But tea, omg, tea is a religious experience. I love this brand called traditional medicinals. It’s so heavenly. I always end my day with their blend of peppermint and the chamomile with lavender…it literally makes me smile and feel warm just thinking about it.

what’s the first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? an actress…a theatre actress to be precise. I think I belong on the stage and in another life, I definitely was.

Now that ya’ll know way more about me than you even wanted to, time to tag some peeps *I* want to get to know better: @julietacapulletto, @what-the-waterbear @huffletiika @fandomjuxtaposition @celestialboyds @jepshe

[dolphin-enthusiast]

a lovely evening to you, cuore mio 💗💖💘 it's been a long long day,, i'm sorry that yesterday was so dreadful for you!! hopefully today treated at least a little bit kinder than yesterday,, you do deserve the best after all ❤ (1/8)

"today was really rough for me mentally, but seeing your response to last night's letter gave me the kick i needed to get moving, i just try my best for you guys after all!! i also saw that lemon boy ask,, it was so cute! i don't listen to much cavetown, but that song has always struck a chord with me, hearing it associated with us makes me feel warm and fuzzy 😊 (2/8)

i've been pretty sleepy today, probably since i slept really poorly last night,, hopefully i can make up for it tonight! but i got to make up for it with lots of work, tailoring/altering clothes, sewing up rips and tears, and other chores, not to mention that i had to help bake 3 loafs of bread and a cake.. and also cook a huge pot of pasta for dinner,, it was very exhausting, but at least i got many things done for once!! its hard trying to be productive lately hehe 😅 (3/8)

my momma and i also got to hit up the markets, i was rewarded a bottle of chinotto for my work!! (it's this italian soda made from the myrtle orange, it is like a more refined cola) (4/8)

i was able to settle down after suffer and watch some of my favorite movie, the godfather part I, i absolutely adore the godfather trilogy since the movies are so well done, the story is captivating, and it reminds me of the stories my zio tells me about the mafia! ✨ (5/8)

speaking of which, my family history isn't all so perfect morgy dear! sure, my family is grand in size and has lots of deep rooted history, but we also have our fair share of unstable persons unfortunately,, my parents just keep me away from them, so you're not alone on that aspect!! 🌺 (6/8)

ah, and i should say that as i've been writing this, my friends keep spamming me and teasing me!! apparently quinn sent them those mafia headcannons so now they decided to fluster me over it!! they're lucky i love them, otherwise i'd be going crazy hehe 😂 (7/8)

oh my, the clock keeps ticking later and later doesn't it? well then, i'll be going for the night! and make sure to try and find time to relax!! too much stress is never a good thing, i know that much,, but i also know that we will both get through it!! and hopefully i can brighten your day at least a tiny bit 💕 - well wishes and much much love, waifu xoxo 💌💋 ps: of course i'd accompany you though everything, even if it was the mafia,, i'm always rooting for you from the sidelines! 😘 (8/8)"

Ah yes the talented productive waifu strikes again😳😳😳 im glad to see i somehow motivated u again and did some chores done, i myself need to get back on track again but idk lately i been sleeping even later than usual and ngl no day is better than the other at all so i'll have to pull myself up and attempt at getting some writing done for once🤡🤡 and yea obvs i know ur family wouldnt b perf (no one's family is) but it just seems to have alot of history which is interesting and what i meant was that mine is basically just bland unstable ppl left and right that u cant even keep ur distance from properly jdhdhdhs (i've also never really properly watched the godfather just little scenes but i would finna watch it with u👁️)

Ur friends really do b doin gods work ngl doe....im still amazed at how popular i am between your close ones like ??? Wjchdhfjdn

Also im p sure i had chinotto a few times before and i remember really liking it so....what if we shared a chinotto while watching the godfather then marathoning anime like damn weebs haha jk UNLESS

[robinrunsfiction]

Ok I’ve had this idea in my head for weeks and I trust you to write it. Person A: I’m in love with (person B)?! Why didn’t you tell me? Revenge Frank x reader during warped tour. Where the reader does merch for either my chem or another band and she’s kinda girlier (soft emo? Idk) and frank keeps finding excuses to talk to her and the band keeps teasing him about it. Just lots of awkward but cute fluffiness. Sorry it’s so long I’ve had this idea for weeks and can’t get it out of my head.

Summer of Like, Summer of Love 

Pairing: Frank Iero x Female ReaderRating: GeneralRequested By: @scrolling-my-life-awayWord Count: ~2,400Author’s Note:I love this request because I’m biased toward the early to mid-2000s as this is when I discovered FOB, MCR, all of them really! Also this request gave me an excuse to look at pre-hiatus FOB pics, revenge era MCR, and my own facebook photos for inspo! Also a little background Petekey for fun!

On the 2005 Warped Tour, the heat of the summer sun bakedeveryone alive during the day, and the parties revived everyone at night andtonight was no exception. You were only about a week into your first majortour, running the merch booth for the hottest new band, Fall Out Boy. You weresipping on a cup of stale beer as you looked around at all the band members,roadies and groupies who were partying after the last sets of the nightfinished.

You tried to pick out anyone you recognized when suddenlyyou thought you spotted a face that looked familiar. There were tons of bandsyou loved on the tour, but more than any other band, you really wanted to meetthe guys from My Chemical Romance, and you thought you saw them across the way.You could have sworn for a second Frank was even looking your way.

“Hey, (YN), wanna go grab some food?” Your cousin Patrickasked, seeming to appear out of thin air.

“Jesus, Trick, you really have to scare me like that?” Youjumped.

“Sorry, you wanna go grab something to eat or not?”

“Yea, I suppose,” you said setting your mostly empty cup ona table before following Patrick toward the van waiting to take the band out toget dinner.

From across the parking lot, Frank watched you walk away.

“Hey Mikes, what’s that one band you can’t shut up about?”

Mikey thought for a second. “You mean Fall Out Boy?”

“Yea, we should check them out tomorrow.”

~

The next day Frank, Mikey and Gerard were standing just offstage as Fall Out Boy performed.

“Who are you looking for?” Gerard asked as he watched Franklooking around at everyone but the band on stage.

“No one,” Frank replied snapping back to attention. “I’ll beright back,” he replied wandering off.

“Wasn’t this his idea?” Gerard asked his brother whoseattention was glued to the band, specifically the bassist on stage. “Never mind,”he muttered to himself.

Frank’s suspicion was correct. The girl he had spotted thenight before was singlehandedly working the Fall Out Boy merch booth, but atthe moment she wasn’t busy since all the fans were watching the band play.

“Hi, what can I- oh my God, you’re Frank Iero. Sorry, I justlove your music,” you gushed, blushing crimson.

Frank laughed and looked down to keep from blushing himself.He was used to girls fawning over him, throwing themselves at him, but this wasdifferent. He was certain you were the cutest thing he had ever seen.

“Thanks, I appreciate it. Umm, what’s your name?”

“(YN),” you replied. “Sorry, again, you just startled me.”

He laughed again. “Are you gonna be at the party tonight?”

“Yea, usually am,” you replied, starting to notice peoplewere standing back, looking at the merch. “I’ll see you there?”

“Yea, I’ll see ya,” Frank said before waving and headingback to the backstage area before he got mobbed by fans.

~

Knowing that Frank was probably going to come talk to you atthe party tonight, you decided to put a little more effort into yourappearance. You had been avoiding wearing makeup during the day, since it wouldjust melt off in the heat, but now you made yourself up, and pulled on a pinktank top and a denim mini skirt.

You found Patrick and Joe by one of the kegs and Patrickpoured you a beer. You talked for a while before Pete and My Chemical Romancearrived. Everyone introduced themselves and you couldn’t help but notice Frankhad come to stand over by you.

“(YN), you need a refill?” Patrick asked.

“No, I’m good thanks,” you replied as some more people cameover and started talking. You spotted a picnic table close by and sat down.Much to your delight, Frank followed.

“So, is that your boyfriend?” Frank asked almost shyly.

“Patrick? Oh my God, no! He’s my cousin! He got me the jobmanaging the merch booth because I just graduated college and don’t have a jobyet.”

Frank tried to keep his cool and not let a relieved smilewash over his face. “Oh, sweet. What did you major in?”

“Marketing with a minor in graphic design. It was kind of amiddle ground. My parents would pay for school if I majored in something Icould get a job with.”

“So, what do you wanna do with it?”

You sighed. “I dunno, maybe get a job at an ad agency or-”

“No no, not what do your parents want you to do, what do youwanna do?” He asked, looking dead in your eyes. You stared back, a slow smilecreeping across your face. You were surprised he was able to see through yoursafe, but boring response.

“I wanna design band merch, and logos, and album art, all ofit. That’s why Patrick put me up for this job, he knows I’ve been obsessed withthis for years.”

Frank smiled once he heard the truth spill from your lips.“That’s so cool, I’d love to see your work some time.”

You shrugged, trying to play it cool. “I have a sketch bookback in the bus I could show you.”

“Hey (YN), Frank, we’re going to a party, wanna come?” Peteshouted before Frank could reply.

“Wanna go?” Frank asked you.

“Sure, I could use a change of scenery.”

~

The party was at an over-full house, and most of the peoplein attendance were from the tour as well. The stench of stale beer and weedwafted through the air as music blasted through speakers.

“So much for a change of scenery,” you muttered as youfollowed the gang through the crush of bodies.

“Should have stayed outside, it was cooler out there,” youheard Ray comment behind you.

“Come on,” Frank said taking the lead, charging through thecrowd toward the back of the house. Soon you had escaped into the backyard andinto fresh air.

“This is better,” you commented, straightening your skirt.

Both bands assembled outside around a fire pit that someonehad started but left unattended. Gerard and Andy watched over their friendslike two sober babysitters as everyone got drinks and sat around the fire. Youfound a lawn chair and got comfortable. You weren’t sure if you should try tojump into a conversation, but again Frank made his way to you, pulling up hisown chair.

“Is this your first time being on tour?” Frank asked.

“Yea, I’ve worked some of their local shows and helped makeshirts for them and stuff, but this is the first time I’ve gotten out on theroad. It’s such a different experience. Do you like it?”

“Yea, being in front of the crowds is amazing, but anytime Ican do anything with music I’m happy.”

“Being on this tour I’ve seen a lot of awesome bands, butyou guys are the best. Like, your energy on stage is incredible,” you toldFrank.

“Thanks,” he replied with a grin, again looking down,feeling a blush on his cheeks.

As you and Frank talked, you both leaned closer together, withyou occasionally getting up the nerve to place your hand on his arm, and hewould look you in the eyes adoringly. Neither of you quite believing what youwere experiencing between you.

“Do you think they see what’s going on between them?” Gerardasked.

“I have no idea,” Ray replied with a laugh as he tookanother swig of his beer.

“Just don’t think you can steal our merch girl, she’s the onlyone who can put up with them,” Andy said nodding to his band mates.

“As long as Pete doesn’t runaway with Mikey,” Gerard said with a laughand a glance toward the bassists who had wandered off from the group.

~

It had been a couple weeks since the start of the tour and Frank wasstill going out of his way to hang out with you when he could, and your crush onhim was as strong as ever. Even though so many people looked at you and how youdressed, or did your hair, and thought you didn’t belong with the punk or emo scene,Frank made you feel like you belonged because he looked past that and got toknow you. And as Frank got to know you, his feelings deepened for you as well.

You had been in your bunk, listening to music as you drew inyour sketchbook when you heard Mikey and Pete leaving the back of the bus.

“Wait, Mikey, are you going back to your bus?” You asked,scrambling off your bed.

Mikey stopped almost out the door. “Yea, why?”

You handed him the folded piece of paper. “Its just a designidea I thought Frank might like,” you explained.

Mikey smiled knowingly. “Sure.”

When Mikey arrived back at the My Chemical Romance bus, hefound Frank reading in the back.

“Here,” Mikey said handing his band mate the piece of paper.

“What is it?”

“Its from (YN),” the words barely left Mikey’s mouth beforeFrank snatched the paper from him, a grin forming on his face.

“Oh this is so cool,” he said in awe.

“What is it?” Gerard asked as he and Ray came into the backof the bus.

“(YN) made something for Frank,” Mikey answered.

“It’s a cool design of my name,” he said still studying thedetails around the letters of his name, running his fingers over the lines. “Ishould write her a song to thank her,” he thought aloud, momentarily forgettinghis band mates presence.

“Damn Frank you’ve really fallen for this girl,” Ray saidwith a laugh.

“What? No, she’s just super cool, and really cute, andalways smells good and she’s easy to talk to.”

“And you never stop smiling when she’s around, and she’s allyou can talk about when she isn’t, and you wanna write a song for her,” Gerardsmiled, hoping his friends mind would go where he was leading.

Frank sat for a moment and then a look of realization washedover him. “I’m in love with (YN)? Why didn’t you tell me?” Frank exclaimed.

“I think you’re the only person who never noticed,” Mikeylaughed.

“What am I gonna do?”

“Ask her out like a normal human being?” Ray suggested.Frank shot him a look that said that was the stupidest thing he had ever heard.“What? It’s really not that big of a deal. I mean, I could ask her out if Iwanted to.”

“No!” Frank shouted, jumping up. “I’m gonna do it.”

~

It was nearing the fourth of July, so almost everyone whoshouldn’t have been allowed near explosives had purchased fireworks. Frank was scanning the crowd nervously looking for you. Thenhe spotted you looking uncomfortable with some guy talking to you. You caught Frank’seye and felt relief wash over you as he came your way.

“Frank! There you are!” You said jumping up and wrappingyour arms around him. To your surprise he hugged you back just as tightly. Overyour shoulder Frank glared at the guy who had been talking to you and he tookthe hint to get lost.

“Thanks for that, he was really bothering me,” you said whenhe pulled back and saw the guy was gone.

“Its no biggie,” he replied smiling. “I got your design bythe way, it’s amazing, thank you.”

“No problem. I still gotta show you my whole sketchbooksometime when we aren’t so busy.”

“I’m not busy now,” Frank replied.

You smiled and nodded. “Yea, come on then,” you said headingtoward the buses. As you moved through the dark you felt Frank’s hand graspyours and you smiled, butterflies soaring through your stomach.

When you made it back to the bus, no one else was around. Youwent back to your bunk and pulled out the notepad. You switched on the lightand sat down on the sofa next to Frank.

“Ok, so this is my favorite so far,” you said flipping to apage with Fall Out Boy logos. “I did a few for My Chem too,” you said turningthe page.

Frank examined everything on each page carefully, notletting you rush past, even if you argued that the ones he was looking atweren’t good.

“Pete should give you a job at his label, these are awesome, you reallyhave a lot of talent,” he said looking up at you in awe.

You shrugged. “I’m afraid my style isn’t edgy enough for alot of bands.”

“Nah, it’s cool, and I think you could be edgier if youtried. Its there under the surface, I can tell.”

“Thanks,” you laughed.

“I’m serious, you’re awesome,” he said looking in your eyes.It was now or never. “Umm, (YN) do you wanna go out with me sometime?”

You were shocked and then thrilled. “Yea, yes, that would becool,” you grinned.

Frank grinned back and suddenly you were both leaning in,lips inches from each other.

“Oh (YN) you’re here- oh shit sorry,” Patrick rambled realizingwhat he interrupted when you and Frank both sat bolt upright.

“What’s up Patrick?” you sighed, looking over at yourembarrassed cousin.

“They’re starting the fireworks soon, I know you alwaysliked them,” he replied, looking at his shoes.

“Thanks,” you replied sincerely. Patrick waved as he walkedout. “Umm, do you wanna look at the fireworks?”

“Sure,” Frank replied with a smile. Anything to spend a little more time with you.

You found a spot back from the rest of the people gatheredaround watching the amateur pyrotechnics. You and Frank sat down on thescratchy grass and Frank wrapped his arm around your shoulders. You looked upat him and he smiled down, and you felt yourself leaning in again. When yourlips finally connected with his, you couldn’t help but smile. You pulled back fromthe kiss, the grin still plastered across your face.

“Holy shit I do love you,” Frank said, his eyes wide. Youlaughed and the smile on your face grew even larger. He grabbed your face andpulled you back into another kiss, the momentum of which caused him to tumblehim back into the grass with you laid out on top of him. Needless to say, neitherof you saw much of the fireworks that night.

Masterlist

[minatodilf]

i was tagged by @teojida thank u king 🙌🏽

What was your last

Drink: vanilla coke 🙌🏽

Last phone call: work....

Last text: to my older sister, asking her to pick up food on her way home but she hasn’t responded so looks bleak kings

Last song you listened to: my brothers watching nge out in the family room and I’ve been hearing the theme song play a lot longer than it should be so i guess cruel angels thesis

Last time you cried: hmmm maybe a month ago? i don’t remember these things lol

Have you ever dated someone: unfortunately! i never listened to my friends when they told me he was shitty and creepy, wish I had!

Been cheated on: el em aye oh yeah!

Kissed someone and regretted it: big time, my dude

Lost someone special: not really

Been drunk and thrown up: yes

List three fave colors: yellow, red, orange! (Ok me too king)

In the last year have you…

Made a new friend: yeah!

Fallen out of love: yes!

Laughed until you cried: yeah

Met someone that changed you: yeah I guess u grow from ur mistakes so yeah?

Found out who your true friends are: idk maybe?

Found out someone was talking about you: lmaoo yeah

Kissed someone on your FB friends list: yeah I don’t have facebook

General

How many people on your FB friends list do you know irl: don’t have fb

Do you have any pets: we have two cats! Salem is a black cat and yeah he’s named after the one from Sabrina, my older sisters named him. and the other is bean, idk cat breeds but he’s pretty 😔 my brother had a blue budgie, his name was sasuke. yeah I know...it was embarrassing for a while ahdjshsj he got old and passed away recently tho

Do you want to change your name: i do, probably not to ash though. ill keep that as a nickname, idk what I’d change my name to

What did you do for your last birthday: euheheh my birthday was January, i went out clubbing with a group of friends for my 18th

What time did you wake up today: a little after 8:30am. Bc its school break rn it’s just me and my brother at home, our parents leave early for work and come home late so he woke me up to go get breakfast from McDonald’s. i had a sausage and egg mcmuffin with the hash brown and juice and it was soooooo good.

What were you doing at midnight last night: playing Final Fantasy X on the switch

Name something you CANNOT wait for: OHHH DUDE NEW ANIMAL CROSSING!!

Last time you saw your mother: uhh last night I think, i was still asleep when she left for work this morning

What is one thing you wish you could change about life: i wish my family was well off. i wish I could afford to pay next semesters uni fee to continue my degree, and my parents didn’t have to worry about it so much.

What are you listening to right now: the sound of nge from the other room and my brother occasionally yelling at the tv

Have you ever talked to a person with the name Tom: you know what, i don’t think I ever have

What’s getting on your nerves: thinking about money and the lack thereof lol

Most visited website: tumblr + youtube

Nickname: ash! my parents call me shortened versions of my actual name sometimes, but ash really click with everyone. Even my parents use it sometimes.

Relationship status: single 🤟🏽 recently broke up with my shit hole ex and whew who knew i was so blind and stupid!

Zodiac sign: aquarius

Pronouns: he/him

Fave tv shows: I don’t really watch tv but I like naruto so.

Hair color: it’s naturally black, i tried dying it blonde a while ago but it looked fucked so I dyed it back to black omg

Long or short: on myself I prefer short I guess? but just long enough for me to still look like a sasuke kinnie

Height: hnnhghgh 5’0

Do you have a crush on someone: mr minato the dilf supreme

What do you like about yourself: oh yeah being gay and trans is Super Sexy of me

Tattoos: oof yeah I got some but my parents still don’t know about them, the adrenaline keeps me going. I’d like a few more tho 👀

Righty or Lefty: righty!

First surgery: im pretty hardy i haven’t been to the hospital

First piercing: first was my ear lobes, i now have a lot more all in my ears tho. I’d like a couple more.

First best friend: we aren’t friends anymore. I used my sisters Facebook to look her up recently and she’s very openly homophobic so glad I dodged that bullet lmao

First sport you joined: yeah i was a ballet child, then i moved on to volleyball and then track briefly in high school

First pair of trainers: huh? What?

Right now

Eating: nongshim onion ring snacks, I’m a frequent at the asian market bc im always buying my onion flavoured ring snacks

Drinking: I had a bottle of water on my bed but I can’t locate it atm...

Listening to: bts’s idol and I’ve run out of skips on my free version of Spotify so I guess that

Want kids: not at the moment

Career: i would love to be an artist or a writer, something creative but like that’ll never happen lmao

Which is better:

Lips or eyes: hmm idk lips ig

Hugs or kissed: hugs

Shorter or taller: i kinda...like...being smaller so..

Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous

Nice stomach or nice arms: yeah tummy is the best!

Sensitive or loud: hmmm I’m already very loud so maybe sensitive, we need a balance

Hook up or relationship: hook up bro I’m over relationships

Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger: yes

Drank hard liquor: yes

Lost glasses/contacts: yes

Sex on a first date: yea

Broke someone’s heart: not that I’m aware of lol

Had your own heart broken: man idk.

Been arrested: very close call but ultimately no

Turned someone down: yep

Cried when someone died: ye

Fallen for a friend: oh briefly back in high school but he was straight and made some homophobic jokes so like. I had no taste.

Do you believe in:

Yourself: hhhh he’s trying!

Miracles: mmmmmm no

Love at first sight: ehhhh yeah ok

Santa Claus: nope. My sister ruined it all for me early so.

Kiss on the first date: yea

Angels: ehhhhh idk...

i tag: @nbsoras @bosstheme @cishethiruzen @bayonettamutual @ochaiko @thelegendoftwink @dykexion

i know this is VERY long so of course u don’t have to do it if u don’t wanna ✌🏽